#i was going to walk down to tesco and get some things i cant go out in public like this
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SHE'S GOING TO BE DECAPITATED???? I SCREAMED!!!!
I keep pausing to panic and then I hit play and some other horrible new information is revealed. What the fuck!!!!!!!
#path of night podcast#pon liveblogging#pon s3ep59#im going to cry 😭😭😭#Ira if u ever want to prove urself in my book now is ur chance#i was going to walk down to tesco and get some things i cant go out in public like this
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I just applied for a breakfast waitress position in a hotel do you have any tips if they accept me oh great hella
omg im so excited for this ask yes i DO have tips anonstie i have so much to tell you hi im hella ive been doing different waitressing jobs since i was sixteen here's what i know:
your first 3 weeks/month are the golden time. im being so serious when i say ask ANY question you have. you will have stupid questions. you will panic about which way a tap gets turned or where a plate goes. you will feel like a tit. ask anyway. in this time NOTHING you do can get too harshly judged bc you're the 'new person' and it stays that way for a good 3 weeks SO ASK AWAY. a month is pushing it but honestly rather ask in the first month than fudge it yourself and make a mess
dont try and carry three plates straight away. just.... dont
you will drop things. you WILL break things. i promise you they're not going to fire you
you will have some of the most outragously awkward encounters with customers. this is probably their fault (they told a bad joke, they dont look at you when they talk, they're generally an asshole) BUT sometimes it'll be your fault. the other day my mate was serving this old bloke and he said he was just waiting for his wife because she was 'out partying', to which my mate laughed thinking he was telling a joke. it was only when she walked away that she realised he said 'parking' and she laughed really hard at it for seemingly no reason and she literally had to go to the office and put her head in her hands. she's been waitressing there for two years
speaking of other staff. god. omg. okay. yes, all chefs are that much of an asshole it's not just yours. no, age-gaps are not frowned upon in the catering industry. yes, everyone is shagging each other all of the time. good luck
dont slag any of the other staff off until the first month is over. even if that staff member is the designated victim of everyone's abuse, just dont join in yet. the last thing you want is to join in on harmless bitching bc you think it'll appeal you to the staff just to find out you've gotten involved in some deep-seated years-long politics. also it's just respectful. you're new at the end of the day and you dont really earn a right to an opinion on anyone until youve been there a while lol
bring food to work with you. worst case scenario it sits in your bag untouched bc you dont get hungry. best case scenario you're on your feet for a 10 hour shift with no progress on your staff meal and suddenly that tesco egg and cress sandwich you packed looks a lot like god
also drink water!!!!!! literally no one acknowledges how fucking hard waitressing is but you are ON YOUR FEET FOR HOURS moving the entire length of the restaurant usually carrying shit AND dealing with the social drain of constant interaction. you need to take care of yourself
dont write down verbatim what the customer ordered unless you can write very very quickly. you'll get used to your own shorthand bc FUCK KNOWS customers cant seem to recognise what it looks like when someone is clearly still writing and they tend to just KEEP FUCKING TALKING
that's another thing. never underestimate how stupid and/or rude people can be. you're going to experience levels of ridiculous unbenownest to you until now. you are going to hear shit come out of people's mouths that you thought humanity had evolved past centuries ago. get that poker face down
it's okay if it gets to you. there's going to be shit days where every customer you speak to tears a strip off you and it's fucking DRAINING. im lucky bc i genuinely dont view customers as other human beings so literally nothing they say to me even resonates, but other people get upset and need to cry. that's okay. everyone has terrible days. it's a natural reaction to people being rude to you so just remember it's a VERY impersonal industry. you'll make mistakes that you're convinced will make people (either customers or other staff) hate you but honestly? it'll be forgotten about the next day
know from the start what shifts you're willing to do AND MAKE YOUR MANAGER AWARE OF IT. are you part-time? if so, specify how many days MAXIMUM you're willing to work a week. can you work sundays? say so if you can't. if you say all of this stuff repeatedly from the beginning then when the day inevitably comes that you've been put on rota five days in a row or they've stuck you on a sunday regardless of buses, you can shrug your shoulders without any guilt and turn it down
clean up after yourself. dont see yourself as above any jobs. polish the cutlery when it needs doing (this is your friend). clean up the coffee counter. your employer - especially when your new - wants to see INITIATIVE, not just an ability to follows instructions. when there's nothing to do and you've done what you were told, FIND SOMETHING TO DO. if you cant think of anything (though dw the longer you're there the more familiar you'll become with the little jobs), then ask another waitress or your manager if you can help with anything. it makes you look eager and on the ball
there's a hierarchy in the catering industry and it can get nasty. for example, barback and kitchen porter are seen as really unprestigious roles and as a result a lot of the staff are really horrible to them. dont fucking do that. waitresses have a really awful reputation for this kind of bitchiness and it's not nice. your job isnt superior. dont just dump your plates with the kp when there's food still on them. talk to the barback instead of just handing them your empty glasses without even acknowleding them. youd think this was all a given but it really really isnt
try get in with the chefs. typically their egos are really fragile but that can work in your favour. even if you just get on well with ONE chef, the kitchen staff are usually quite loyal to each other so that'll get you in with the rest of them. it just makes your day easier bc you can relax with them more, so checking your orders and getting yourself food isnt a faff
learn the menu as quick as possible. a good place will give you some sort of food-orientated role at first for exactly this reason (e.g one of my first ever shifts i did 10 hours JUST on the food passe. i wanted to die but in a single shift i knew that menu like the back of my hand and it makes life soooo much easier). still, you'll trip up a lot at first when customers ask the dreaded 'do the fishcakes come with _____' and you dont know the answer. smiling sweetly and going 'oh im not sure actually, i'll just go ask someone for you :)' is your best friend. to this day i still say this (though that's for drinks bc im HOPELESS at remembering what we have on tap)
have fun! it sounds dumb but if you like where you're working then waitressing can honestly be such a laugh. it's a job that has a real solidarity aspect to it and it bonds people. dont deep anything and just enjoy yourself <3
#forcibly restrains myself from adding more bullet points#there's so much else i could say i hate this#GOOD LUCK ANON IM ROOTING FOR YOU!#tell me how it goes <3#ask
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Grand theft Auto
You get a stow away at Tesco.
Warnings: swearing, fluff
A/N:Another blurb? Working hard on so many things I need these quick little works to take a breather. This basically came about after chatting to @being-worthy
Taglist: @two-unbeatable-beaters @thatgirly81 @iloveyouyen @sofiebstar @thefangirlsblog @harrysthiccthighss @isitmine @tinabean37 @loserrlauraa @tumblnewby
You huffed moving the trolly full of shopping...You could feel the eyes, laughter rippling through the passers by. You swore, fuck the 5p charge on bags! You had bags for life...But they were left in your car...Again. And isn't it funny how bags for life got smaller and more expensive?
You shook your head growling ignoring the chatter. You knew what you were doing fuck them! You huffed you were an adult...Or so your mum said honestly you didnt feel it at the moment rolling up behinde your car popping open the boot.
Fuck that was hot! You frowned feeljng the heat escape the car you cant breath! You moved opening drivers door trying to get some air in the car. Cool it down before you got in. You'd forgot to get the aircon redone so that was out of the equation.
You growled yanking out the bags and huffed quickly trying to stuff your shopping in the bags as fast as you could wanting to just get home.
You felt so stupid this adulting thing was hard you just wanted to go back, to a simple time where mum would remind you to get your purse so you didn't look like a tit trying to buy milk with no money. Yeah that was a laugh.
Finally you had managed to pack the bags and closed the boot. You looked over to the trolly lock up...It was three bays over. You looked to your open door then the trolleys again and shrugged, keys tight in your hand. You'd risk it.
You moved quickly returning your trolly having to wait a few koments as a few kids in front tried working out how to get their pound back. After a few nerve wracking mineuts you managed to tuck your trolly away getting your pound coin back and jogged back to your car. Happy when you noticed the air was much cooler now. Just as you went to get in and toss your handbag in you heard it.
Panting? What the-OH JESUS! You squeaked reversing a few steps clutching your bag in front of you. There was a dog in your car....A big dog...A big fluffy dog. You blinked and moved closer slowly looking around for soemone who looked like they lost a dog.
He seemed pretty happy panting his tongue lolling out in what could be a smile?
"Hey there puppy? Err are you a nice puppy?" You were stumped the dog wagged his tail and lifted his head sniffing in your direction then leaned back on the seat looking out the windscreen. Almost as if asking why you wasn't getting in and driving him home.
"Hey pupper-roo err you need to get out now...This isnt you car love" he stopped panting and looked at you seriously, then climbed over the center consol and sat down on the passenger seat and stared at you. His stare was freaking you out so you stood back holding your hands up.
"Okay okay boo your cool you err you just stay there then" at that he began panting happily again. That was fucking freaky.
You spun around trying to see where the fuck the big boy had come from, sure there was a large park that dog walkers used a two minute walk from here behind the superstore and they did park here to walk them. You scratched you head looking around.
Do you shut him in? Leave the window open? No he was big he'd over heat and knowing your luck someone would fucking smash in a window to free him. You eyed him he did look hot. You moved pulljng out awayer bottle from your bag you'd got it for you but...He was panting hard!
You unscrewed the cap and crept around to the passenger side where he was happily making himself at home. You slowly pulled open the door and held out the bottle slowly. He swung around seeming to know that you were givingn him a drink. You tipped the bottle up and he greedily lapped as the flow of water.
You winced at how wet your seat was getting but this was a good dead. Adults did them! You were an adult and this doggy was lost and you will help find his owner.
You swallowed slowly moveing a hand to stroke him he watched but huffed and continued drinking the offered water. You smiled petting him slowly and twisted his collar around seeing a tag with a number. Bingo!
You quickly pulled the bottle away from him and got out you phone to dial the number making sure to keep your body covering the door so he wouldnt run off it was dangerous!
"Kal like Superman? Holy shit fair play your a big boy~ okay Kal sit tight I'm gonna call your owner okay boo?" He didn't seemed to care he just kept pawing at your hand trying to get more water you sighed tipping it again a little shallower this time so he could spill less. You typed in the number it rang twice.
"Hi err I've found dog?..Well he found me really."
"Oh my god really thank god is he okay?" You smiled hearing the relief.
"Yes yes he is fine snuck into my car little bugger-I'm at tesco by the park? I'm down the end on the right hand side along the wall"
"Oh he did I'm so sorry he loves car rides, I'm just crossing the road now I'll be a minute"
"Its no problem like I said he is fine, having a drink... I'm the yellow juke cant miss me~" he chuckled down the phone and you heard a bit of scuffling and wind rushing.
"I see you!" He said hanging up the phone and then you saw him, a huge beast of a man running to towards you in a blue tank top...Fuck.
He came to a stop infront of you and Kal barked but didnt move from his spot. The man quickly stood beside you leaning kissing the Kal on the face and clipped his lead on him.
"Kal you- dont you ever do that again! You hear me I thought I'd lost you boy...I'm so sorry, thank you I was terrified!" You laughed him off smiling patting his back the man was clearly shaken at losing his dog. You could sense he was embarrassed and decided to make a quip.
"You? I just about had a heart attack, I put back my trolly and he was trying out a little grand theft auto~" you both laughed out loud.
"Yeah that sounds about right~ I'm sorry about all this...He is a funny bugger...I can see why he was drawn to you though" the man held his hand out
"I'm Yenry and you already know Kal here" you gulped and shook his hand
"Y/n and honestly its no problem I'm gald I could help you both...You got here fast though" he laughed rubbing his neck and tried tugging Kal out of the car subtly but the dog was as stubborn as a mule.
"Kal come on its time to get out of the pretty ladies car I'm sure she needs to get home to her husband" you chuckled cheeks heating at the obvious flirtation.
"Quick sprint does the heart good!" You smiled eyeing him you doubted there was anything wrong with this mans heart but okay.
"Or stopp it completely~ I can't run for shit" he smiled eyeing you up and down with a cheeky grin.
"I wish! Then I'd have someone to pack all this shit away when I get home~" he turned to you a sly smile.
"No boyfriend?" You flushed not expecting him to take it to far but you shook your head. Watching as his face split into a grin and he laughed nodding to Kal rubbing his ears as if to say good job. Then turned to you licking and biting at his bottom lip.
"Well how about that? You err Kals walk isn't up...We normally get a coffee in town after...If you er want-want to come...So I can repay you he did get your seat wet...And ruin your day" you blushed twiddling your keys. Should you? I mean he is a stranger but...You can't deny you'd like to spend more time with him.
"I mean Kal he er wont be moving for love nor money now he is comfy~ so we may just have to forgo coffee and chat here all day~" you giggled looking at the huge dog who yawned slumping back against your seat.
"Well a latte does sound nice after the morning I've had" he smiled moving to face Kal.
"Come on boy we got a date" you watched shaking your head when instantly Kal jumped down prancing his feet looking up at you and Henry shut your car door. You locked the car and followed the two across the car park as henry began striking up conversation.
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everytime you post a fic its a little party for me! I make myself a cuppa get comfy and enjoy the ride! the Harry potter fic is the sweetest thing ever! I just love fluff and we all need it right now, I cant help but think what Maycury in lockdown would be like, they would def watch a LOT of old movies and fuck each others brains out, I also imagine them doing activities such as baking or yoga
aww that makes me so glad, i’m so glad you like them!! <3 curling up with a cup of tea and a fic is basically my favourite thing in the world to do (i’m very cool and wild, okay).
and YES god. i’ve thought about this literally every day since we locked down.
there is so much sex. like when it’s first gearing up freddie sends brian out to grab some essentials for the house so they don’t need any more shopping for a bit (toilet paper, bread, milk, butter, etc). brian goes, and comes back with one (1) bag. in which is a box of earl grey tea bags (granted, an essential), some apples, and what must be every single bottle of lube their local tesco superstore had in stock. which, incidentally, is fifteen.
“brian...what the fuck?” freddie asks when he discovers this. he should have expected it. he’s known brian for many years now. although the man is a genius, he has zero common sense.
lube is, brian argues, an essential.
freddie can’t believe he’s married to a man who panic-buys lube.
(later, freddie will find himself very grateful for their apocalypse stash of lube, which actually starts to run low after a few weeks in lockdown, but he still makes brian wait up all night to queue for an online delivery slot so they can get some actual essentials).
they watch a lot of movies. old movies, new movies, great moves, shit movies. movies they talk through, movies they fuck through, movies they cry through.
brian is the one to take up baking - specifically baking bread, once he manages to source some flour three weeks into being locked down. he is not so good at it but freddie supportively tries them all and he gets better remarkably quickly, trying out loads of new recipes he finds online and tweaking them to make them better.
freddie definitely decides to start doing yoga, but brian walks in on him during his second session and, well. what’s he supposed to do when he finds his husband in that position??
brian does all the little mini-concerts he’s been doing, and occasionally freddie pops his head in. usually to offer brian a cup of tea or tell him it’s time to stop instagramming, it’s nearly midnight and he’s tired. sometimes he consents to sing a little bit, but only rarely, when he’s had a few drinks.
freddie reorganises his antiques cabinets and brushes all of the cats.
sometimes they have bad days where they niggle at each other over every little thing and go to bed in cold silence. sometimes they have even worse days, where old arguments get hauled out and rehashed in painful detail, and they fall into bed angry and naked.
one night, they both get a bit drunk and play back loads of their own old music - the early hits, the first few albums, and reminisce about the old days; the half-empty gigs, the shitty hotels, the leaky flats, the bad press. it had been awful at the time but the struggle seems almost romantic now.
brian drags freddie out to stargaze. freddie insists on finally going through brian’s wardrobe and bagging up all the ridiculously old and holey or hideous clothes (he’s been dying to do that for years). brian decides to start writing a paper he’s been meaning to write for a science journal and freddie promptly distracts him.
it’s not easy. but it’s okay. they get through.
#replies#maycury#covid19#coronavirus#tagging in case anyone has those blacklisted and wants to avoid lockdown related content!!
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Tell us about your summoner oc pls!!
Just want to say thank you so much for this ask its made me really happy and also please dont judge to harsh iv never made an oc before and I dont really know what I'm doing lol. Also the idea of how it works is that when he is in the world of heroes time stops in his world. So he can spend 5 years in askra come back to his world and no time has gone past. Also I'm so sorry for grammar or spelling mistakes it's the dylisxc sorry.
Name = Taylor
Gender = male
Age = 19
What they do in there own world = studying to become an physiotherapist in a university london(because I'm from England and I dont know how other countries school system work sorry) but also works part time in a tesco
Personality = easily attached to poeple so dispite being quite intelligent on the battle feild he has done some stupid things to make sure they stay safe. Get extremely angry when it comes to poeple getting hurt (physically and emotionally)which sometimes isn't a problem but sometimes this means he has given away locates when the group is trying to be stealthy, which has put them in even more danger at times. Is out going and confendnet when around strangers and friends but this is a bit of a mask, as he feels like he has to put of that face because of him being the summoner. Close friends will known that he is quite nervous with a very strange sense of humour (at least to them)
As a unit = after the events of book 1 he started to try and become a healer. While he cant defend himself very well only able to do light magical damage he is a very skilled healer. He rides a horse into battle
Realship with the heroes = close friends Donald it started with him asking him why he wears a pot into battle and there friendship took off from there. Laslow, laslow was just being laslow and flirted with him and to humor him taylor flirted back and they had tea together and became good friends, especially as laslow understood the whole hiding behind a more confident persona. Est, she reminds him of his little sister so he feels the need to protect her (that need that she needs protecting changes when she takes down a Duma that would have killed him) but they often go out to the market to buy supplies as she easy to talk to.
And with the heores oc =(also for the sake of idk how to write them in the veronica, bruno and loki bunny alt dont exist in this one I'm sorry)
anna = as a broke uni student he respects her money loving ways. They can be caught scheming ways to get some extra money
Sharena = she saw right through the persona he put on so she was able to see the real him very quickly. They have shared eachother darkest secrets and so they trust eachother completely and get on very well. Also the only person to get his sense of humour. She was the first person he came out as bi to which was followed by her coming out as a lesbian to him. Helped her and fjorm get together.
Alfonse = at first they only talked while working together because of alfonse fear of not wanting to get close to Taylor but he saw Taylor stressing out after he thought everyone had left the war councils meeting. They both had a heart to heart Taylor admits his fear of not doing well another and faling and alfonse explains why he fears getting close to poeple. The only person he has taken into his world has alfonse was curios so he showed him the day to day life. A customer was rude to taylor in Tesco and let's put it this way alfonse is banned from all Tesco.
Fjorm = extremely good friends with eachother and he feels guilty about her dying believing that it his fault dispite her saying that it's not and she doesnt regret what she did. Wants to try and make her last years alive as happy as possible. Beause hríd couldn't stop crying (he gives me those big brother vibes you cant change my mind) Taylor walked her down the aisle at her and sharena wedding.
Gunnthrá = the big sister he never had, just like with fjorm he feels guilty for what happend to her and cant forgive himself. She took him to nifl once and like good all English men he was freezing to death within the first 5 minutes.
Hríd = talk about there sister together a lot as Taylor has 2 and love them to peaces like hríd does with his. Hríd has basically adopted him and whenever Hríd is deployed he always looking behind him to make sure no arches are amining at Taylor. He taught him how to ride a horse
Ylgr = she always messing about and playing pranks so he uses her powers for evil good by setting her on heroes that are annoying him. Dispite her being very strong especially for her age he can never use her in battle out of fear of what will happen. But he has taught her to yell yeet when throwing her daggers.
Laegjarn = not exactly friends but they respect eachother. Dispite being in charge and never abusing his power over her and laevatein unlike surter she has a new resolve that once she goes back to her world she going to take laevatein and leave surter as she now knows theres a better way of life and that theres poeple that are willing to give her a second chance.
Laevatein = pretty much the same as laegjarn but Taylor also teachers her how to ride a horse after finding out she has a interest in them
Helibindi = is trying his best to summon his sister. He is suspicious of his outgoing nature and is sure there something going on underneath but doesn't know how to get through. Is one of the few that notice when Taylor is struggling with something even if it something small, so he often get stuff of the top shelf for him because Taylor is a bit short.
Eir = not close yet but he was the one that gave her a hug and stayed with her after hel death.
Random info = 5'5, middle child oldest brother is 23 youngest sister is 13, bi, allergic to cherrys, has a dog called robin.
I just released how much I wrote and I'm so so sorry but thank you so much for the ask I was sad because of irl stuff but this really cheered me up writing this so thank you so much. I'm going to use a picrew to show what he looks like because I cant draw and idk how to describe well
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18/6
Went to scotts BBQ as you know yesterday and it was something I needed. It was nice. Everyone asked how things were. I came to terms with it. But after a while and a few drinks we just lay there looking at the sky for like 20 mins. Me, Joe, Scott and Craig. It was just different. It was nice. Ended up at home at 12, went to be, woke up at 4 and couldn't get back to sleep for a while then Lara got my up at 8. Ended up buying a maccies for me, lara, meg and tom. Came to £30, great. But my day was about to change.
I couldn't stop thinking about you. Cant remember if ive said this already, but I messaged your mom to see how you were getting on, well to see if you was alright. She didn't say much, just thanked me for checking up. So I messaged you. Not about the break, or if you were ready to talk or anything like that. Just to see how you were. We had a nice to and throw and it was nice. Then I asked the question. I asked to see if you wanted to come over and watch some programs. We didn't need to talk, or anything else, just sit and watch our programs and for me anyway just having you as company. I was so scared, I didn't want to ask as I didn't know how you'd feel about it. but... YOU SAID YES . I wish I could tell you that I didn't stop smiling for 2 hours, but id be lying. I wish I could tell you it wasnt the happiest ive been for the entire week, but again id be lying. Then I went into a panic.
If I had 1 shot, 1 shot to show you I care it would be today. Of course it wasnt just going to be sitting there in silence watching programs. No, we wouldn't be talking about the situation but I had a few things planned. If you could come over early enough it would mean that you wouldnt of ate. So I was going to cook you food. I took Lara to Tesco, we walked down just a little after you said yes. Got some prawns, noodles, garlic, onion, the small onion thing, Nandos hot sauce. That was going to be for dinner. Then I got, Cheese and Onion crisp, Maltesers, toffee popcorn, and some drumsticks as this was going to be snacks before dinner. Then I also go myself some ice cream to pair with the one you've left here and some chocolate which I was going to melt on top and place into the fridge to harden it. I put my candle downstairs all day and closed the door, so it warmed it up a little and also smelt nice. I even brought you Lemon Iced Tea, I was pulling out all of the stops apart from flowers as it thought it might be a little too much. I also had something else planned if it progressed further but no a chance im writing that here. But that would only be a bonus. Minimum I wanted was you just being here and having some time to not think about anything and hope you'd have a nice time just being with me again. But I was going to use whatever I had to make you see how much you mean to me and I care. To try and relight the flame you had lost.
The only problem was, Sarah asked you to go out as she had some issues and hadn't seen you for a while. OUT OF ALL THE DAYS. But I understood. I wasnt angry or upset you didn't come in the end. I enjoyed just having a conversation with you again. I really enjoyed just speaking to you throughout the day. And it gives me hope that we can still make this happen and I still have my chance. Only issue is now, I dont see a situation where both my mom and dad are out of the house for you to come over and they not ask any questions, before I go on holiday. So its over to you now. I have 1 chance tomorrow morning before they come back, but that all depends on what time you wake up. Im writing this on the 19th, Ive been up since half 5 because of Thea, and I message you before 6 as you were active, but just as I sent it, you went offline so I take it you only just gone to bed so I wont speak to you till 12ish. But we shall see. Im glad you enjoyed your night out as much as I enjoy my day today
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I Dare You To Stay: Chapter 3
Hey guys! New chapter! I also used the song Resistance by Muse. ALSO I’m on spring break today so I’m going to have more free time!! That means more chapters!! :D
Tags for chapter: fluff, lowkey flirting
Words for chapter: ~3.8k
Fic Summary: Dan Howell is a barista working a shitty job, frequenting his shitty apartment, and living a shitty existence, hiding his asexuality and going for a PHD in self-depreciation and depression. Phil Lester is a part-time intern, part-time employee at a local weather station, trying to get experience in his field and make a name for himself, while juggling a second job at the nearby Tesco’s to give him some financial breathing room. Their paths were never supposed to meet, but what happens when they do anyways, one rainy day in Manchester?
(ao3 link)
<-- Previous chapter Next chapter -->
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After about a week had gone by, Dan was feeling much more like himself. His mental health had balanced out a little, the chemicals in his brain righting themselves to as good as they ever got, and the few symptoms that he had experienced due to his concussion had faded away. Which was good, because Dan was sure that if he forgot what kind of coffee he had been in the middle of making one more time Jaime was going to kick him out of the store until he was fully healed.
Besides the normal mishaps that happened on a day-to-day basis regardless of concussions involved, the week was relatively decent enough and lacking in any special "charm", as Jaime put it. But it wasn't like Dan was complaining. Yeah, it was good to be doing something, but having a slower-than-normal week was perfect for giving Dan's health a little bit of time to catch up. Dan also didn't have to work with Steve at all this past week, which was an absolute blessing, thank god.
Dan did end up taking the whole "limiting screen time" thing a bit hard. There were multiple times where he would subconsciously pull his phone out of his back pocket to check the time or scroll through social media when there weren't any customers around, just for Jaime to pluck it right out of his hands with a tsk. And he would groan and mumble about how "unfair" she was being, but really he was kind of glad that he had someone to make sure he didn't screw his brain up any more than he already had.
And, because staying up until 4AM on Tumblr wasn't an option anymore, he was significantly much more well-rested, resulting in a much smaller consumption of caffeine, which his body seemed to be thanking him for. Funny how things can work out like that.
It was a Monday, and he was for once alone in the shop. Steve was in some other country for holiday and Jaime had come down with a nasty cold over the weekend. And, surprisingly enough, that exhausted all of their options. The store itself was small, so it easily got by with few employees, but as it was minus Dan, Jaime, and Steve, the rest of the help were teenagers still in school that took shifts on the weekends and some nights. What was Dan going to do?—call one of the kids and ask them "uh yeah hey I know you're in the middle of class right now, but could you maybe cover for someone who called out sick?". No, Dan would pass on that.
His phone dinged in his pocket, and his chuckled. That would be Jaime, for the millionth time today already, complaining that she was "literally dying". There was no one in the shop, so Dan palmed his phone, unlocking it with a swipe of his finger. He laughed at Jaime's message and replied, biting his lip to unconsciously try to hide his smile.
>> From: my maraschino cherry
dan i cant even get out of bed to write my will
how will ppl know all of my millions go to my cat
>> To: my maraschino cherry
two problems:
1 you dont have a cat
2 i know full well you have abt 37€ to your name
>> From: my maraschino cherry
i cant believe you would be this rude to me when im dying
>> To: my maraschino cherry
if ur gonna die im getting ur paycheck
>> From: my maraschino cherry
if im gonna die im gonna haunt your ass for the rest of ur miserable life howell
Dan laughed, but a teenager that was obviously skipping school walked in the store, so he pocketed his phone for the moment. She ended up ordering a coffee but didn't stray from the counter, instead she very obviously flicked her eyes over Dan and tried to flirt with him. Fortunately for Dan, however, she could tell after a few moments of his awkward stuttering and the uncomfortable hunch of his shoulders that he wasn't interested, and she backed down, wishing him a good day and walking back out of the store, throwing a "Thanks for the coffee!" over her shoulder.
When she was gone Dan let out a sigh of relief and relaxed against the counter. He hated being flirted with. It made him way too anxious and stressed out.
This Monday was the slowest day he had seen in a very long time, possibly the most empty he had ever seen the store in the entire time he had worked here, which had been quite a while. Three hours had passed since that girl had come in, and no one else had entered the store, leaving Dan alone. He'd made himself two coffee's, had his lunch break, played several games on his phone, and even face-timed Jaime. Now though, Jaime was sleeping, his phone was nearly dead, and he still had another four hours before his shift was ending. Would he last until six? Time would only tell, that was for sure.
Dan slumped through another forty-five minutes of him lazing around the coffee shop, counting the cars as they passed by. He nearly fell asleep once, and because he so happened to be working in a coffee shop, Dan made him a double caramel macchiato with an absurd amount of sugar in it. He quite nearly chugged it, just for something to do, but settled for a slightly more reserved series of large gulps.
Afterwards, he used the key in his pocket to unlock the manager's office. Well, "office" was a bit of a stretch. It was mainly just a tiny room where the security monitor was housed as well as the filing cabinet that was sure to hold things like employee records and information on ingredients purchased and such. Dan's key didn't open that, and since his key was actually Jaime's she didn't have access to that either. The only one who did was the owner.
Dan sat at the desk, looking around for some sorts of PA system. He had never really been back here, only seen Jaime come in to turn the store's music on and turn it off every day they worked together. And frankly, even if Jaime was technically the manager, she had given Dan the temporary title when he stopped by her apartment to grab the keys to the store when she called him to tell him that she was sick, and that meant that he could choose the music, today. He'd been playing songs on his phone for the day, as some source of background noise, but with the nearing death of his phone, he had stopped the app awhile ago.
Maybe music is the key to ending this suffering, Dan thought, shuffling papers out of the way, still looking. Maybe, if I can ever find the damn thing.
Dan huffed, defeated, slumping against the chair. He absentmindedly spun in it a little, rocking from left to right, thinking. So, there was obviously no little radio or something back here, connected to the speakers, so that was out of the question. There was also no microphone or anything of the sorts that could be used to broadcast music via an outside source like a phone, which wouldn't have helped him anyways with said almost-dead battery. He sat, turning the problem in question around in his head. Dan left his head fall back on the headrest, puffing out his cheeks and staring at the ceiling. He spun himself in the chair with his foot, watching as the peeling paint above him swirled with him. When he came to a stop he picked his head up, thinking about how that was probably not the greatest for his head after a recent concussion, and his gaze landed right on the computer.
He wasn't sure about his possible success rate, but he sat up, switching the monitor on. A screen for a password came up, and Dan looked at it for a moment before putting in his employee pin. The computer beeped but the screen didn't change. A pop-up surfaced: Your password was incorrect.
Dan frowned, but then lit up almost immediately as the pieces clicked into place. Of course his pin wouldn't work; he wasn't the manager of the store and didn't have a key to this back room, so it wouldn't make any sense for his employee number to work. However, Jaime was the manager, and they had clocked in for each other more than enough times at this point for each other to know their pins.
He typed out her six-number pin and hit 'enter' but this time when the computer beeped, there was no pop-up. The home screen opened and Dan smiled. There wasn't much on the screen, but he flicked his eyes over the small selection of apps lined up on the left side of the screen and clicked on one who's icon was a blue eighth note. What was basically a souped-up Spotify opened, and Dan scrolled through the music selection available. There was a history bar, but the only thing on there was the local pop station, which was obviously what Jaime played day to day.
Dan knew that this was a work computer and everything on it was probably recorded and such, and—not to mention the fact that at some point today there were going to be customers so he couldn't choose something nuts—as a result he passed by everything in the search that was heavier, more on the rock and roll side. He finally picked with a huge grin on his face, settling on one of the band's albums and hitting play, cackling when he heard the sound burst through the speakers in the front of the store. Dan raised the volume a little—just a tad, really—and stood, making his way out of the manager's office in higher spirits than he entered it with. Dan re-locked the door behind him and made his way back behind the counter with a bounce in his step.
The next half an hour was better with music to keep him company, especially with his favorite artist easing the boredom that Dan felt. He was enjoying himself, if only slightly. Darkshines faded out and Dan had just finished texting Jaime (who was probably still asleep) that he was having a ton of fun here by himself (which was only half true; the music was good, yes, but he would have preferred some company too). Dan wasn't really paying too much attention to what was playing through the speakers, but when the almost haunting sound was taken over by a wonderful piano solo and the backbeat of a drum that Dan knew so well, he dropped his phone onto the counter and forgot about it completely. Dan grinned so wide he might have been afraid of his face splitting right in two.
He sang along, gaining confidence in the vacant coffee shop with every verse. Dan drummed on the counter to the guitar, the drums, even the rise and fall of the vocals of the song itself. Dan laughed, dancing on his feet as the chorus crashed.
Love is our resistance,
They'll keep us apart and won't stop breaking us down,
Hold me,
Our lips must always be sealed
Dan was honestly having fun at that point. One of his favorite songs of all time was on, and frankly, it had picked up his whole mood.
So, really, Dan couldn't be blamed when he didn't notice the little chime of the bell on top of the front door over the music, but he did notice that he had an audience when he spun around—still, admittedly, dancing—to find a tall, skinny man with dark, dark hair and very pale skin standing, a few steps inside the store, stopped dead in his tracks, mouth open a little and eyes wide, eyebrows high on his forehead.
Dan yelped, startled and very nearly slipping on his own two feet. He felt his face flush immediately and the guy himself had a dusting of pink on his cheeks, but it was undoubtedly much much more controlled than Dan's. His mouth went dry and he suddenly wished very much that Jaime was here, because if she was, Dan wouldn't have had his choice in music, and him getting caught dancing by a stranger wouldn't have happened, damnit.
"Uh...sorry. C-can I help you?" Dan stuttered, his face still hot. One of his hands was shaking but he just slipped it into his pocket. The guy blinked and Resistance was over, the music fading into something else, and the spell between them seemed to break, returning reality to its original state. The stranger nodded, stepping forward, a small smile on his face.
"It's okay, I like Muse too, I just wasn't expecting it," he said, chuckling, "and I'll have one caramel macchiato, please," he finished, biting his lip a little at the end of his sentence. Dan nodded, turning around and started to make the coffee, grateful to not have to hold the guy's gaze, but Dan could feel his eyes burning holes into Dan's back the entire time that he mixed the drink. He tried not to feel more uncomfortable and embarrassed than he already was. It wasn't working.
"Here you go," Dan said, handing the drink over, "one caramel macchiato." Their hands brushed and Dan flicked his eyes up from where his gaze was resting on the counter. He was looking at Dan weird. Did Dan say something? Offend the guy?
But as Dan finally met the stranger's eyes with his own, he became abruptly aware of how blue they were. A memory surfaced, one of colliding head-first with a stranger on the street with similarly gorgeous eyes, causing Dan to look the guy over. He had the eyes, the same combination of pretty and handsome that Dan remembered through the haze of his headache, the same everything that Dan had remembered. Except for the pair of black glasses perched on his nose.
In all fairness, the guy had flicked his eyes over Dan too, and was looking at him expectantly, a question that Dan couldn't read in his eyes.
"Did you...this is going to sound weird, but did you happen to, ah, run into anyone? Like last week-ish? And them possibly fall over?" Dan squeaked, his small amount of confidence burning out mid-way through his question but Dan's social anxiety keeping him from dropping it.
The man smiled, and it was blinding.
"Yeah! I was wondering if it was you because you looked so familiar, but I didn't want to say anything and seem like a creep. I'm glad you said something!" He laughed, and it was the happiest sound Dan had ever heard. He could feel his blush. The stranger who Dan did-and-didn't know stuck his hand out, that smile still there.
Dan shook it, his head still whirling. His hands were just as warm as Dan remembered them, as utterly creepy that sounded in his head.
"I'm Phil, by the way, it's nice to meet you again."
"Uh, Dan. And...yeah," he replied lamely.
Internally, he groaned. Can he really be any stupider in a social conversation? Is that possible?
Phil was still smiling, but it dampened a little and he looked concerned. "How is your head, by the way? Better, hopefully?"
"Oh, yeah, it still throbs every once in awhile just to be a pain in the ass, but I think I'm good at this point. You were right though—I had a concussion. My friend ended up taking me to the doctor's."
Phil grimaced in sympathy.
"I can't say that I'm jealous of that. I'm quite a clumsy person, so I've had my fair share of concussions. I'm glad you're feeling better though! I was wondering if you were okay like, the entire rest of the day we ran into each other. I felt so guilty."
Damn, he'd probably double over if I told him that I stayed in bed for like 48 hours straight after that fall, Dan thought, eh, it was for a different reason though, maybe not.
Instead of voicing his thoughts, Dan chuckled a little.
"The whole day, huh? That's pretty empathetic, especially for a stranger."
"Oi! You looked like you were about to fall over! It was like walking one of my drunk friends home!" Phil said, almost a whine. Dan laughed, he couldn't help it really, there was just something inexplicably funny about Phil grumbling as he was.
"Besides, we aren't strangers anymore, so you're point is totally invalid."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah. I'm Phil, you're Dan. Dan and Phil. Phil and Dan. We know each other's names so we're totally not strangers."
Dan snorted and shook his head. His phone beeped on the counter, definitely just Jaime replying to him, probably telling him not to have so much fun when she was dying.
"Aw, you're ringer isn't a Muse song. I'm disappointed now." Phil said and Dan rolled his eyes.
"I don't like Muse that much, mate."
Phil scoffed playfully, and gave Dan a look.
"Really? I walked in here with you giving your own little performance of Resistance by Muse. Quite entertainingly, really, and I can bet that no one who 'doesn't like Muse that much' would do that, mate."
Dan felt a little off at that. Partially because Phil saw right through Dan's bullshit and his easy-going jibe at Dan's use of 'mate'.
"Fine, you caught me, guilty as charged and all that—I love Muse. They're my absolute favorite music group and the owners of my literal soul." At the end, Dan had gotten a bit sarcastic, but overall the statement was true. Phil smiled, but this one was different, it was slyer, like he knew a secret that Dan didn't.
"I thought so, Dan."
Dan almost choked on his own spit when Phil said his name like that. And Dan wasn't even sure what 'like that' even meant, he just knew that there was something different at how his name rolled off of Phil's lips.
Phil's eyes went a little wide, his mouth forming an 'o' like he was remembering something.
"Oh yeah! I totally forgot to pay!" Phil reached into his back pocket, and Dan's eyes totally didn't follow the movement, thank you very much. He pulled out a leather wallet and opened it up, placing his coffee on the counter so he could use two hands and was already pulling out money, but Dan snapped back to attention and waved it away.
"No no, you keep that Phil."
"Dan, I've got to pay for my coffee."
"Nope, I won't let you. It's on me, okay? I ran into you that night, you walked me home and made sure I got in safely, trust me, you keep your money, Phil."
"Dan, we ran into each other, you can't really count that," Phil said, trying to hand Dan what was enough to buy two coffees. Dan pushed Phil's hands away, giving the guy an exasperated look.
"I can and I will. Look, even if you don't count that, you still walked me home, I still owe you."
"That's not how it works."
"You did a favor for me, I'm doing a favor for you; that's so how it works."
"Dan-"
"Take the damn coffee, Phil," Dan said, and following an impulse, plucked the wallet out of Phil's hands, slipped the money back inside and shut it. Dan leaned over the counter a little for a better reach, one of his hands braced on the counter, and put the wallet into the pocket on Phil's shirt. Dan pulled back, rocking on his heels a little, and flashed Phil a little smile. Phil shook his head, but there was a smile on his face.
"You are very stubborn, Dan"
"Thanks."
Phil laughed and picked up his coffee, taking a sip. His face lit up and he looked down at the steaming drink in his hands.
"Wow this is actually really good," he said, surprise in his voice.
"You are one of those really supportive friends, aren't you, Phil." Dan snorted.
"Hey!" Phil cried, indignantly. "How do I know that fall didn't, like, scramble your brains or something? Forever impair your coffee-making abilities?"
Dan laughed again, and honestly, he couldn't help it if he tried. Phil was just too...too Phil. Dan didn't know what was about him, but now that he wasn't severely concussed, he was aware of how fun Phil seemed to be around.
It turned out that Phil had been looking around for a place to stay and burn some time before he had to get into work, so he stayed up at the counter, and he and Phil fooled around for a little, joking and teasing each other. Dan had made himself a drink (a smoothie this time because he didn't think his system could handle any more caffeine without imploding) and Phil had another coffee and a danish from their display case (which he actually paid for because he quite literally just wouldn't accept Dan waving the money away). When it came time for Phil to leave, however, the process nearly took almost fifteen minutes because neither of them would shut up. When Phil was at the glass door and they were still trading jokes, he looked at his watch and said something about running late from staying too long, and even though he didn't seem too concerned about it, Dan certainly was, shooing him out with a "Phil! Go! I swear to god if you're late to work!". Phil had laughed his way out and so had Dan, really.
When he was gone though, Dan couldn't help but feel a little lonely. He hadn't really had anyone around all day besides the very few customers that had popped in for a few minutes, and Phil's presence was a welcome change in all of it. Now that he was gone the store felt much more empty than before.
Thankfully for Dan though, soon after, things started to pick up. More and more people came in for their evening coffee, and with the customers, Dan was busy, which was good enough. When his shift was over, and two teens had come in to take over the store, Dan had forgone getting a taxi home to walk under the gloom of the Manchester skies. He stopped by a fast-food place to grab some dinner on his way back to his flat.
And if he paused and looked around at a particular corner close to home, his spirits dropping a little at the sight of nothing and nobody around him, no one had to know.
#phanfiction#phanfic#my fics#allyssaTM#phan#chaptered#dan howell#phil lester#i dare you to stay#i dare you to stay: chapter 3#fluff#ace!dan#dan and phil#phandom#PHIL BACK LOOK AT THAT#this was really cute
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Pt.1- Hey! PT guy again:) so after going over a week without any interaction apart from staring and smiling (& the occasional "hey") with my sg, I decided I had enough and on Tuesday evening I added him on insta - something I was terrified to do but at the time it felt right. He followed be back an hour & a half later, and on Wednesday morning, he came in 40 mins earlier than he needed to only to hover around my area doing "things"- so I spoke to him about the football (I know he loves football)
PT Guy, Pt.2- and we ended up having a convo that lasted a few minutes! (doesn’t sound long but it was to me) and he was being kind of awkward but was asking me questions back as well, asking me about my interests, etc. He’s normally a very laughy, jokey guy to everyone else, but as I mentioned before he gets very serious around me and ngl it makes me feel a bit rubbish sometimes especially when he’s talking normally to other girls. Anyways, the next morning on Thursday, he wasn’t there, but
PT Guy, Pt.3- …he came to train (the same time as usual) in the evening and I arrived a bit earlier than usual. He was coming up the stairs and I didn’t see him. and then in the corner of my eye I saw him looking and as I looked up he looked down, walking as if he hadn’t seen me. As we walked past eachother he looked up and I gave him a nice smile and said “heya!” and he literally just looked a bit scared and raised his eyebrows and me (not even with a smile this time) and quickly glanced away??
PT Guy pt.4- and I was literally predicting this was gonna happen. This was the start of him ignoring me, and its Friday and I swear hes avoiding me. He usually turns up everywhere I am (gym times, coffee shop, Tesco) and sort of wafts about my general area, never talking to me - but lately he just hasn’t! I also know for a fact that he’s not busy the whole time, and before even if he was, he would make time! He’s been coming in BEFORE I usually arrive, or arriving AFTER I usually leave at 6pm.
PT Guy pt.5- This almost always happens whenever we have a great/better interaction & seem to have made more progress. Generally it at least happens once a month. I cant interact with him again cuz I feel like I’m bothering him, & I cant anyways cuz its kinda hard to start a convo with someone who won’t even look you in the eye atm& acts like you aren’t there!:( I dont know how to get out of this loop, its driving me crazy- I like him and wish he cud be more comfortable w/me! whys he doing this?
PT guy pt.6- Oh and one more thing! Just a side thing.. I’ve noticed since we added eachother on Instagram that he almost always watches my stories within the first 5 minutes at least at all random points within the day- (I find this quite cute, I have no idea if he realises I can see that) - so either he’s literally spending all day sat on my profile waiting for me to post a story;P OR I think he must have turned on my story and post notifications?! Anyways I have no idea why he’s doing that?:O
Hi, as you said, it was predictable that he would avoid you after having had some progress. Every shy guy does that. Now it’s important to find out if this is a push back because he is scared of progress or if it’s because he is not interested. You should be able to find out over time. Usually a push back doesn’t last. So he should come back around. Especially if he interacts online.
As for the Instagram thing, I’m sure a guy his age knows you can see him. He probably assumes that you have lots of friends who look at your posts and that it must seem normal.
Continue to act nice and see what happens in a few days. :-)
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Fic: When the sky turns blue
I got this prompt from my frienderino @sayonara-yoru : “One of my personal favourites is when for example you cant see the colour of your soulmates until you find them. For example : dan can never see blue until he meets phil - then he sees his blue eyes and hes like : wow blue is a thing” So yee I’m writing that. -Oh and also Dan’s pastel but Phil is like art student 2009 Phil so
—
‘Describe it to me.’
'Well, its like finding a part of your soul.’
Dan scoffed and sat up. 'PJ, be a little more creative. Yeah I get you’re happy and drugged up on finding your soul mate, but you’re still PJ, king of originality.’
'Alright, alright… I suppose it’s like… You’ve been battling a Dragon for a long time, thousands of years. Then, someone comes along beside you, gives you a sweet little smile, and suddenly the Dragon just… Falls dead. And then the world is filled with colour, but you’re too caught up in their eyes, and they in yours, to notice that suddenly you can see another colour.’
'Better. Now I can picture it,’ Dan said, stretching back across the grass. Suddenly he sprung up, muttering, 'I’m gonna get my new jumper dirty.’
PJ laughed and patted Dan’s shoulder. 'I’ve got to go, Sophie’s waiting and I’ve got to be back. See you at Uni, Dan.’
'Yeah, see you PJ.’
After PJ’s back had been swallowed by the mist, Dan sighed.
He’d never been able to see the colour he was missing, he didn’t even know what it was called. It was a complete mystery to him, and he was disheartened that he’d gone through 18 years without having found his soul mate. Most of his friends had found their at 16 or earlier, so, for a long time, he’d just asked them what it felt like. Her always got answers like that, that it was some incredible feeling of completion, that it changed you. But for some reason, he’d just never believed them.
He got up, dusting off his pale jeans.
He pulled out his phone, opening the Uni chat.
Danisnotonfire:
hi, we’re meeting in tescos before the dorms, rite?
Alex95:
Yeh
Danisnotonfire:
Thx
He pulled out the handle on his suitcase, dragging it along behind him. Once out of the small park, he headed down the road towards the cluster of shops on the corner.
'Hey, are you Dan?’ He heard someone yell.
'Um, yeah, where are you? Is that Alex?’
'Yeah, and I’m outside Tesco’s!’
He jogged towards the building, spotting his roommate among the crowd of people outside.
'Hi!’
'Hey. You’re a lot more… pastel than I expected,’ Alex said.
'Um, is that bad?’ Dan said timidly, scratching the back of his neck.
'No, I don’t really care. Just mind yourself around the others, they’re a bit… rough. But they’re getting here a bit later, so we’ll be alright for a while.’
'Oh, okai.’
They walked inside, and wordlessly started traipsing down the aisles.
After about ten minutes of silent browsing, Alex said, 'sorry, I forgot to tell you, but I’ve got to go pick up some stuff I forgot, you’ll be alright on your own for a while? I’ll be back soon.’
'Yeah, that’s fine,’ Dan muttered, glancing at the shelves.
'Okai, won’t be long,’ Alex said, and when Dan turned around, he was gone.
He continued round the shop, picking things up and putting them in the basket.
'What else will I need…’ he muttered to himself, 'milk!’
He shuffled into the empty isle, relishing in the lack of people. While looking at the cheese, having decided he needed that too, the weight of the situation came crashing down on him. He was going to university. Without his parents, his brother or his old friends, except PJ, but even then he was in different classes and dorms.
This was going to be hell.
Before he could stop them, tears fell from his eyes, rolling down his cheeks and dripping onto his jumper. 'No, I don’t want to go anymore,’ he sobbed into his hands, pink jumper going dark.
'Hey, are you okai?’ A voice said from behind him, and two hands were placed delicately on his shoulders.
'A-Alex?’
'No, I’m Phil, what’s wrong?’
'I- G- what-’ Dan started sentence after sentence, lost as to why a stranger was talking to him. He pushed his fringe out of his face, looking through teary eyes at the man stood in front of him. The moment they saw each other, when their gazes met, Phil’s eyes swirled with something odd that Dan couldn’t quite place. Enthralled, he leant closer without realising, tilting his head slightly, feeling a strange warmth envelope him.
Phil stared at him in the same way, mouth slightly open, seemingly looking through Dan.
It was odd but… Something was different. He felt… Whole? Finally realising it definitely was not socially acceptable in the slightest to gaze at someone for this long, Dan shook himself, as did Phil, heat creeping up the backs of their necks.
'I’m… Sorry for staring, that was probably creepy… I’m sorry… I’ll just…’ Phil muttered, stumbling backwards, pale cheeks dusted with crimson.
And with that, he disappeared behind the aisles, and Dan lost something.
He reached up and rubbed his eyes free of tears. He looked up, and froze.
Something was definitely different.
—
Every so often, Dan would notice the world looked a bit strange: the university, that had definitely been a dull, grey mass beforehand was now a… Different colour. It looked more alive; the sky was no longer white, even on cloudy days, peeks of something else were visible through the whisps, and did he put those white jeans in the wrong wash? Or had someone nicked them and replaced them with these other ones that were suspiciously well worn (and not to mention, his size.)
What on earth was going on?
—
'PJ, something’s different… The sky’s-’
'Blue. Yeah I know, England hasn’t had a blue sky in years.’
Dan sat up and looked at PJ.
Blue.
—
Picking at the seam on his cuff, he traipsed down the cheese aisle, gaze sticking to the brightly coloured packets. His new colour was so versatile; he’d seen pastel blue, sky blue, vibrant blue, navy blue, the lot. It was so different to all the other colours too, it fitted into any picture he drew.
That damn boy. What was his name again? Finn? Something like that.
He tore his eyes away from the cheese, knowing he probably looked weird, and ruffled his fringe. He sighed.
He managed one more step before he froze.
He was there. Phil. That was definitely it.
They made eye contact, and the piece missing from his soul clicked back into place. Without even knowing he was doing it, he began walking towards him. His pace hastened, getting quicker and quicker, on autopilot, until he was almost running.
He fell into Phil’s open arms and buried his face in his neck. Phil, seemingly dazed, tenderly placed his hands in Dan’s back, bringing his a little closer.
Realising what he’d done, Dan pulled back gingerly. As he did so, he felt his cheeks heat up. 'I’m- I’m sorry, that was-’
'Tomorrow?’
'Huh?’
'Are you free tomorrow?’
'I- I think so, I-’
He stopped himself when Phil pulled a tiny notebook out of his jeans and a pencil from his shirt pocket. He scribbled something, ripped it out, and handed it to Dan.
Meet at the cute café down the road, opposite the book store, 5 tomorrow? x
Dan looked up, and brown met blue.
'I’d love to.’
(I drew my own fan art. I know.)
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Oversharing Time!!!
(i just made that title up that’s not the official title I’m just Like That)
Ok so @frogyell tagged my main account (I am BLEST) but that’s for Refined Star Trek Content and this one’s for excellent moodboard content and garbage so here’s the garbage!!! I’m putting it under a cut bc it manipulates your brain to want to read through 85 fuckin facts about me more wow I love science
rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people.
1. last drink: Water! off to a great start
2. last phone call: my local Hot Topic. I feel like I should also mention I work there. But if you don’t know that and steal my phone you’ll see I have a contact named Hot Topic
3. last text message: Google sent me a verification code, but the last one I sent was to my brother it says “k”
4. last song you listened to: It’s called The Horror Of Your Love by Ludo, if I had to delete all but one song on my 121-song Best Enemies playlist I’d keep this one it’s Peak and kinda has vore but it’s metaphorical. metavoreical, if you will
5. time you cried: during my latest EMDR sesh! I was in Wales and everything it was a Lot I got ice cream after
6. dated someone twice? Big No
7. kissed someone and regretted it? Not really?
8. been cheated on? my ex had 16 anime dating sims downloaded at one point while we were dating does that count
9. lost someone special? yea
10. been depressed? hella
11. gotten drunk and thrown up? I’ve been drunk 1 time and it was when I was playing English handbells at my dad’s church’s wassail night but I did not throw up no
fave colors
12. Black
13. Lavendar
14. Light blue
in the last year have you…
15. made new friends? Hell Yell!!
16. fallen out of love? k i n d a ? ?
17. laughed until you cried? oh absolutely
18. found out someone was talking about you? OH BOY YUP YUP
19. met someone who changed you? yes! she managed to physically alter my hippocampus without touching it how fuckign whack is that
20. found out who your friends are? It’s always the same miraculous group chat
21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list? sure have
general
22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl? I keep it nice and refined so all of them. My old account is another story
23. do you have any pets? one beautiful and talented cat named Moriarty. A good description is she’s got puppy software on cat hardware.
24. do you want to change your name? listen I’ve been through 4.5 of these fuckers, I like Nate, I’m Quite Finished
25. what did you do for your last birthday? invited 2 pals over, I remember one of them suddenly whipped out I Am The Doctor and the Dr Who theme on the piano out of fuckin nowhere and I was like “Daniel what the hell you’re so talented” and then I hardcore dissociated the rest of the day
26. what time did you wake up today? 10:00
27. what were you doing at midnight last night? chatting w @houseofoakdown and also editing my monstrosity of a fanfiction
28. what is something you cant wait for? Going back to school! then I can graduate in my pajamas and eat creamed corn in celebration
30. what are you listening to right now? the same goddamn playlist, this one’s called Battle Cry by The Family Crest, i cri erytiem
31. have you ever talked to a person named tom? probably???
32. something thats getting on your nerves? my brother vaping in the bathroom with the fan on at 12:30am
33. most visited website: tungle dot hell
34. hair color: I started out blonde af now I’m less blonde but still blonde.
35. long or short hair: short
36. do you have a crush on someone: :[] yes
37. what do you like about yourself: i’m hella smart, my moodboards are bangin, my writing is cool af, I’m well-hydrated at all times
38. want any piercings? Big No
39. blood type: A+!!!!! thats me!!!!!
40. nicknames: my brother calls me a goon sometimes
41. relationship status: im married to my laptop
42. zodiac: I was born on the last day of Taurus so I’m a definite Taurus/Gemini power combo
43. pronouns: they/them, tho in some places I use he/him bc The Dysphoria got hog wild enough I decided to pretend to be a trans guy so ppl would take me seriously, but I’m moving more towards they/them everywhere now.
44. fave tv shows: Dr Fuck, Sherlock (I’m armed with a pitchfork and an arsenal of beefed up tv & film knowledge come on fight me), DOWNTON ABBEY
45. tattoos: in August I will get a bee on my right arm and probably a Secret Word in Gallifreyan on my left it’ll say fuck
46. right or left handed: one time I was bored in grade 10 and tried to make myself ambidextrous but that was a hassle so I’m firmly right handed. Except in archery.
47. ever had surgery: got all 4 wisom teeth out not long ago! I still need to squirt water in my gum holes so I get all the mushy food out :{
48. piercings: I used to have my ears pierced but they’re grown tf over now!
49. sport: first of all what the hell is this question looking for second of all I have a red belt (which is 2 below black belt) in Taekwondo. I really need to do that again hhhhhh
50. vacation: i went to England and France in the summer with my family as a “””grad trip”””, it was lots of fun but my collection of sensory issues extended to chomping and I dissociated so intensely in The Louvre my mom told me to go back outside so I wrote fanfiction while listening to 21 Pilots and chatting w my imaginary friends and it took me like 18 hours to process I’d seen The Mona Lisa with mine own 2 eyes. Also the plane was delayed twice bc we used Air Canada for some godforsaken reason and I had 0 hours of sleep when I went to the Sherlock Holmes museum and I started talkin to this bust of Sherlock Holmes and then I hadn’t eaten enough and we were walking to this bookstore and I said “I need food!” and my dad said “We’ll get it AFTER” then I shouted “I’M GONNA DIE” so I got a BLT from Tesco.
51. trainers: h
more general
52. eating: the last thing I ate was chocolate chips straight out of the bag
53. drinking: I got another cup of water
54. im about to watch: my entire fanfiction to take 3000 notes on consistency. and by watch I mean read
55. waiting for: my brother (not vaping) to get out of the bathroom so I can PEE
56. want: Orphan Black to be on Netflix so I can actually binge watch it then call my grandma about it
57. get married: idk I didn’t think I was a get married person but since realizing I’m a lesbian it seems like a good idea!
58. career: nurse and a writer. I might just move to London and work double time to write enough scripts I have some street cred then pitch a TV adaptation of Faction Paradox to the BBC and win
which is better
59. hugs or kisses: hugs bc it means my friends are in my vicinity not Toronto
60. lips or eyes: uh. eyes???????????
61. shorter or taller: i’m 5′3″ and I would love a tol partner
62. older or younger: i don’t think I care
63. nice arms or stomach: what fresh hell does this mean. I’d like a nice stomach free of gastrointestinal issues and acid reflux. not that I have either of those but just in case
64. hookup or relationship: I have 300 many self-esteem issues so imma say relationship
65. troublemaker or hesitant: AU where I don’t have anxiety and I’m a trouble maker
have you ever
66. kissed a stranger: noop
67. drank hard liquor: I PUT RUM IN THE WASSAIL HELL YEAH also once someone bought me a shot at a queer dance thing bc it was payday and my friend told me to gulp the WHOLE SHOT and then the lemonade so I don’t barf and I was like “brah this is too high-stakes” so I poured the vodka in the lemonade and took sips and everyone stared at me
68. lost glasses: in grade 6 and then my mom threatened to make me wear one of those granny glasses chains so I never lost them again
69. turned someone down: ya this kid Cyrus used to chase me around in grade 5 and I’d run away always he was weird af one time he made out with a folder right in front of me in the middle of class
70. sex on first date: probs not at this point but I’m not opposed to the general idea when I’m less w h a c k e d u p
71. broken someones heart: Not that I know of?
72. had your heart broken: c o n s i s t e n t l y in the most fricked up ways god
73. been arrested: no but once I booed at the police bc the local nazis (yeah) were gonna have a rally so we had a counter-rally and I dropped in but there were no nazis except one old dude in a MAGA hat showed up 2 hours late lmao
74. cried when someone died: oui
75. fallen for a friend: Big Lesbian Mood
do you believe in
76. yourself: YA BB
77. miracles: not as such
78. love at first sight: nah
79. santa claus: I wasn’t allowed to believe in Santa as a child bc he was “too much like God” sad
80. kiss on a first date: ye!
81. angels: big no
other
82. best friend’s name: I don’t exactly have a proper best friend but I’m goin with Liam
83. eye colour: blue/grey
84. fave movie: either The Force Awakens (bc I love bb8 and I’m gay 4 Rey) or Interstellar shut up
85. fave actor: uh idk let’s go with my brother
WOW THAT WAS LONG JEE🅱️US. I’m tagging @houseofoakdown @spoonietimelordy @gemvictorfromtheponyverse @spockswhales @raesand and that exhausts the ppl I know but you’re all worth quadruple in my heart 💖
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I have a new scale for my emotions called Suho to Self-Portrait.
1-2 listens through probably happy and just fancied listing this sexy voice and instruments again.
3-4 listens through. Clearly needed a mood boost and was hoping as this is one of my all time favourite albums it would help me feel happy. Hopefully it has done just that. May have also gone on a long sunset beach walk where I'm most likely feeling every emotion going.
5+ listens. Most likely still playing when I get up the morning in a hope I'll wake up happy. Meaning I've gone to sleep feeling super down and probably cried at some pont if not to sleep. It will have been another night were I'm wishing my life was a lot different to the one I'm living but cant change much of it due to reasons outside of my control.
My Spotify top 100 songs had all six songs from the album in it and by using this scale I can see why. I had first uk lock down needed to get out of the house long sunset beach walks. Also had crying myself to sleep as I wanted to quit my job but couldn't as I'd of lost living in the place that made me feel happy. Then there was doing a last minute tesco run before if closed for something to eat as a form of escapism also felt happy though. Followed by playing it as my job contract came to an end as a celebration.
Finally followed through with tonight the calm after a rough day with my parents. Feeling like I want to cry as I wish I could be living in a place of my own but can't as the pandemic is making that twice as hard.
One day things will get better but so grateful for this album in helping me out in many ways. I thank God in many ways for this blessing in my life.
#suho#self portrait#kpop#emotions#scale of emotions#how im feeling#my life#mental health#i wrote this at 2am#struggling to sleep as i feel to sad#Spotify
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Ali & Carly
Ali: this is why i don't wear shoes Ali: i have lost one??? Ali: rescue it if you see it Carly: what do they look like Ali: just a kinda tan sandal thing Ali: just a penneys special so not the end of the world, should chuck the other one so someone can have the pair Carly: come & bring me food & then youll be here to reunite them Carly: but yea k will lean out my door & see if its there Ali: love the enthusiasm, babe 😜 Ali: can feel your come down from here Carly: dont barely remember the come up Carly: wtf happened last night Ali: not in a much better position myself but uhm Ali: mayhem, that's for sure Ali: i think you might've gone home with the wrong cousin Carly: shit Carly: my bad Carly: better read my txts Carly: who did you go w ? Ali: didn't go that far with anyone Ali: 💍 remember and such a 😇 Ali: ronan was in a mard though and i weren't up for listening to that so 🤷 Carly: aw Carly: sorry baby i'll calm him down Ali: it's chill 😂 bless him Ali: no need on my account tho i'm sure he'd be down, despite protests otherwise Carly: my inbox is Carly: cba w this rn Ali: oh baby, want a bacon sarnie and a secretary? Carly: yea Carly: gonna throw my phone w your shoe Ali: i woke up to a mystery dickpic on my phone Ali: is it rude to ask which one it belongs to because lads, sorry, not that memorable that i'm picking it out of a line-up Ali: you'll know, been more recent, i'll come over with food and lucozade for real and ruin your day with that lovely image and the actually rather creative sexts that went with it Ali: 10/10 for effort, sir Carly: cant put it on the cv or school report but my memory for 'em is good Carly: if ive seen it i'll id it Carly: ill laff if its the large ginge cousin whose name i never got Carly: sounded like a cough Ali: that's a talent and if the man can't see that, fuck him Ali: and his job in tescos, like Ali: i mean, shouldn't have a preference but i hope not 😂 Ali: soz honey but Carly: thanks baby Carly: I hope its that token english Carly: he was fit Ali: can reply if you like Ali: worse ways to waste a sunday morning than messing with boys Ali: sounding like a priest Ali: oops Carly: ha Carly: i found some fucking funny vids of us so maybe the phone shouldnt go out window before youve had a look Ali: yes, i need to see that Carly: [sends her fave of the vids] Ali: aww Ali: we're fun drunks Ali: love that for us Carly: yea Carly: im a messy bitch tho Carly: no wonder i went w the hero cousin Ali: meh, things happen at parties, everyone knows that Ali: not like you're proper attached is it Ali: though he's gonna be annoying now probs but day in the life when you're irresistible, yeah? Carly: youd know babe Carly: he wont be on site long never is Carly: so idc Carly: saved me for a nite boy youre welcome Ali: duh Ali: hottest couple in town Ali: one for the wank bank anyway Carly: yea & he is fit Carly: give him that Carly: esp when i dont understand what hes saying Ali: the best kind Ali: a boy you don't have to speak to 😜 Ali: if that's all it takes like, whip out the Gaeilge Carly: youve got the giggles but yea Carly: true Carly: but on site id just have all the oldies chatting at me if i could Carly: not trying to make them go weak Ali: they ain't daddies? boo 😥 Carly: some got many kids but thats it Carly: say something to me then Ali: [sends voice memo, probably has dirty words she'd recognise from site life and lots of loling] Carly: k Carly: so hot Carly: if your gf is mad at me for stealing you last nite you can smooth things over w her like that Ali: might have to Ali: though it ain't you she's 😤 with Ali: poor ronan, shoulda done more than snog him if she comes for him, not even worth it for that Carly: ill protect him when he lets me back near Carly: cant stay mad at this Carly: sure your girls the same Ali: She's mad 24/7 babe, just gotta hold on, like 😂 Ali: we want different things now but that's not a convo for this morning like jesus Carly: whos got the energy Carly: cba w angry Carly: yea you want a sarnie Ali: exactly, and i wanted to have fun last night but may as well have said i want his dick in or around my mouth k bye babe Carly: ha Carly: that would be fun tho Ali: tell that to past you, dashing his threesome dreams like 🤷💔 Carly: still time Ali: not me you need to promise baby Carly: yea but id rather talk to you Ali: 💚 Ali: you cute Carly: all you Carly: how you look so good coming from band? wtf Ali: psh please Ali: it was all about you 🙇 Carly: if that was true why is every memory i got from last nite just you Carly: facts Ali: had to get you away from that mirror somehow, like 😉 Ali: it was fun Carly: ha Carly: cuz your talents got me like Carly: yea it was Ali: helps when the canvas already beautiful babe Carly: aw Carly: youre sweet Ali: 🍓 Carly: gonna make me cry Ali: don't cry lil one Ali: the bacon is coming Ali: got roped into doing a shady kid swap, where is my ma, take this demon child Carly: you can bring him if you want Carly: ill put clothes on before Ali: cockblocked again 😉 Ali: nah, he needs to go get shoes Ali: ironically and unlucky, twat Carly: what size is he Carly: i can ask around when i look for yours Carly: lads flog everything and anything here on sundays Ali: his feet are big man Ali: he's only little but he's lanky af, unlike me Ali: that's fun tho Ali: imma go shopping Carly: aw Carly: yea wish i was taller Carly: ffs ma and da Ali: literally Ali: least neither of my sisters are model tall or i'd be more raging Ali: we make it work, babe Carly: & i dont have any sisters Carly: well done on that one tho ma & da Ali: speak for yourself Ali: i'm gutted Carly: oww Carly: trying to replace me like the vows were no thing Ali: you know you're my one and only Ali: but a woman got needs Carly: thats what your gf is for Carly: no Ali: yeah but i'm allowed wishful thinking too Ali: damn Carly: ive given you the mental image of me naked Carly: what more you need Ali: are you jealous of your hypothetical sister? Carly: yea if you like her more Ali: aw baby, 'course not Ali: she's a ride, yeah, but bit of a bitch too, like Carly: ha Carly: takes after our ma like Ali: sadly, straighter than you Ali: 👎 Carly: like theres a ranking Carly: just straight or not yea Ali: I mean, it is a scale but I'm not gonna try and bond with your Ma giving her the test for it, like Ali: could we tie her down for a sec, obvs Carly: hit her when shes washing up Carly: takes long Ali: okay, i'll dry 😉 Ali: what an offer Carly: trying to make me vom now Carly: take crying or blushing over Ali: soz babe Carly: her & my da dont fuck but still dont reckon youre her type Ali: don't know what's worse, that, or knowing they do Carly: im good w them not Carly: sound carries Carly: no secrets in the caravan Ali: sure there's a toilet block they could go to Ali: keeping it sexy Carly: sure my da's there doing his cry wank Carly: while my ma checks the talent Carly: we got that to look forward to in our marriage in a few years Ali: who's scouting who's cranking Ali: because frankly, i refuse either Carly: im the biggest slag so probs me Carly: sorry Ali: and I'm not Ali: igloo sisters how many times now?! 😂 Carly: ha Carly: but youre loyal Carly: me and my ma dont kno the meaning like Ali: am i Ali: you miss the part when i got on ronan Carly: o yea Carly: i forgot Ali: idk what i'm gonna do about that Ali: instant gameover but its literally so irrelevant Carly: hes a ride Carly: you should be excused for it Ali: she's a 6 on that scale, yeah, massive gay Ali: so she ain't seeing that, never mind the other shit Carly: shit yea Carly: dont tell her Ali: does that make me the worst? Ali: i should hm Carly: hes not gonna speak to her Carly: and if he brags you can call it that Ali: Yeah Ali: I don't know Carly: its that or tell her Carly: & say youre sorry Carly: we were all wasted Carly: not like you have feelings for him Ali: You're right, obviously Ali: like that's the truth but yeah Ali: might leave it unless I need to go there Ali: soz God, swing by confession later Carly: tell her youre a bi cliche Carly: she'd love it Carly: use the scale Ali: she would tho Ali: validate everything she's ever sneaky or not so thought about me Ali: soz, i need a constant stream of p n v or i die Carly: a girl has needs Carly: what am i a 1? Ali: its like dis Ali: 1- all straight 2- mostly straight but lil gay 3- equal/bi 4- mostly gay but still lil into opposite 5- total gay Ali: but not gonna resist the urge to tell you you a 10 Carly: 🥇 Carly: i like that you're 3 tho. 3's a lucky number Ali: and a magic one 🔮 Carly: yea cuz youre magical Ali: believe it baby Carly: i do Ali: right, finally leaving, be like 10 Ali: doing the opposite to a walk of shame rn, strutting back in like what's good Carly: you gotta Carly: own it baby Carly: havent found your shoe tho sorry Carly: maybe ronan took it cuz he loves you so bad Ali: 😂 oh my god Ali: like a horny puppy Carly: yea Carly: building a shrine to you rn probs Ali: or he wanna play cinderella Ali: such a ridiculous fairytale, as far as they go Carly: how wasted was the prince that he cant remember what she looks like Carly: k been there but not trying to wife anyone Ali: right?! also, sure plenty of bitches a size 5, like??? Ali: was it a magic shoe Ali: no explanation, frankly Carly: yea like me and you have the same size Carly: ill take your prince for a ride bitch Ali: 😂 Ali: he cool with that Ali: that's the tea Ali: boy gives no fucks, long as it ain't a man in drag Carly: he hasnt met your brother tho Carly: boy looks good Ali: eww Ali: stop that thought right there Carly: dont get jealous Carly: not gonna go there Ali: not jealous, but repulsed 😷 Carly: k babe Carly: if you say so Ali: trust, you wanna see jealous you'll see it soon enough if you go there Ali: 😂 bea don't fuck about Carly: have to go for one of your other hot brothers Ali: trying be my sister in law and wife Ali: kickin it country Carly: you kno Carly: been on site too long Ali: forreal, not gotta hang with the traveller lads that hard baby Carly: after last nite not gonna be hanging w them for a while Ali: let 'em fight it out amongst themselves Ali: defs for the best Carly: yea Carly: hide w me babe Carly: gonna be so bored Ali: gonna Ali: i'll peep their wares another day Ali: not a euphemism Carly: sounds dirty tho Ali: yeah, regretted it as i said it but hey Ali: love me a sale and a gypsy boy Carly: no regrets boo Carly: they love you too Carly: esp whoever send the dick pic Ali: the real mystery Ali: soz everyone else with your drama but we gotta know Carly: i do need to be knowing Carly: thats my wife lads Ali: awh you gonna defend my honour n delicate sensibilities Carly: yea Carly: youre an angel Ali: you're so cute Carly: its you Carly: my parents came back Carly: gonna have to run Ali: oh no i am en route Ali: where you going boo Carly: i'll catch you and we can find somewhere theyre not Carly: ha church Carly: can you eat there cuz im not looking to die for jesus Ali: yeah for sure, not in the pews like its the cinema, like Ali: can go park if you wanna Ali: or up the mountain if you can hack it, like Carly: youre so smart Carly: like your mouth Carly: but yea Carly: date time Ali: awh yeah Ali: this picnic ain't goals i'm so sorry babe Ali: least the weather's looking up Carly: idc Carly: get to be w my boo Ali: 😍 Carly: i look crazy Carly: havent got dressed faster w out getting fucked before since idc Carly: idk Ali: i like crazy Ali: and beside me you'll probs look totally normal 😉 Carly: you look hot every day baby Carly: facts Ali: all these compliments got me feeling 🔥 obvs Carly: thats how i want it Ali: gonna have you flying high too Ali: top of the world, baby Carly: aw Carly: whats in the food like Ali: 😂 Ali: just faith n trust n pixiedust, of course Carly: you can snort pixiedust yea? Carly: k Ali: you gon' be mad when i've got nothing but sandwiches and half a donut Carly: nah Carly: cant be mad at you Carly: too cute Ali: and donuts are life Carly: true
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Ok – so my diamond target member badge is in the bag. I’ve managed to maintain my weight for a year.
Now I’ve reached yet another milestone though I have to consider what the next one will be.
Maybe it’s just the nature of my particular beast – or maybe it’s because I’m capricious – but now I have what I’ve always wanted I feel slightly deflated.
The problem (if you can call it that) is that when you focus all of your energy – and pour the essence of your whole being into a task until it completely dominates your day to day life – there’s often a noticeable dip in your mood when you achieve what you’ve set out to do.
When you arrive at the finish line (after the initial relief and happiness washes over you) you’re left asking ‘so what the hell comes next?’
In the past I’d have moved immediately from one health goal to another – but I have to be completely truthful and admit that Slimming World is no longer the sole focus of my attention it once was.
Whilst I’m still continually following the plan things in my overall priority list have changed significantly.
Since late 2018 my gaze has definitely shifted towards other (in my view more important) things in my private life and I now have some brightly lit beacons in the distance that have nothing to do with weight management.
In my mind’s eye they’re represented by a glow that’s emanating from a distant island in a big ocean – and I’m currently in a little boat rowing in their direction.
The sea is calm and there’s a warm sun above me in the cloudless blue sky.
However – as forgiving as the gentle waves beneath me are there’s still a lengthy distance between where I am now and where I want to end up. Furthermore when I look down I’m only holding one oar.
However instead of the boat going in circles I’m still heading toward my objective, because sitting in it to my left is someone else holding the other oar pulling in time with my strokes. The longer we sit side by side the closer they become, and the quicker the boat moves.
I know where I want to go and my companion does as well.
It turns out that we’re heading for the same island and are focused on the same beacons.
This journey and shared objective is only one part of the puzzle though, and I can’t ignore my progress with SW at any point. Whilst it isn’t my only guiding light any more I need to remain fit and healthy enough to get to my destination. When I reach it (and I will) I have to continue to build and enjoy a full life.
This requires me to maintain a solid focus on multiple areas – but I’m determined that whatever else is on my mind I will not shift my gaze away from health maintenance. In the short term therefore I have given myself an objective and have decided to dedicate March to exercise.
This is mostly because February saw a noticeable dip in my stats. They’re not bad by any stretch of the imagination – but they’re not where I wanted them to be.
It’s worth noting two things at this point.
Firstly – the swimming stats are an average of the distances I swam in February – but are not a DAILY one as the title suggests. I’ve realised that Apple’s health app is actually giving an overall average for the days I’ve swum – rather than an average for the whole month, including days that I didn’t go swimming.
Secondly (when I interrogate my workout history) in January I can see that I went swimming on 18 out of 31 days.
In contrast February ‘only’ saw me go 11 out of 28.
So – my first objective for March is to complete at least 15 swimming workouts.
Apple Watch (maybe sensing my mood) has also set me a challenge to walk 236 miles, which is 7.61 per day. Therefore my second objective therefore is to walk an average of 8 miles a day.
My third is that I want to make three days of each week an SP day (Slimming World’s uber weight loss approach which focuses on speed and protein food groups only.) This should enable me to strike a comfortable balance between relaxation and focus – which since I started swimming has been something of a tricky thing to do.
I’m also going to up my focus on cooking super healthy and filling meals – because February had way too many days where I went overboard eating free foods (as well as some marathon hi-fi bar munching sessions that are best not discussed) and then had to pull everything back into line afterwards.
My slow cooker is one of many great ways to achieve this aim with as little friction as possible.
The above insanely filling and warming dinner was made with 500g of diced lean beef, a can of chopped tomatoes, a Tesco butternut squash and red onion stew pack, a carrot and swede stew pack, two leeks, 4 cloves of garlic, a stock cube, salt, a few bay leaves, some couscous and a can of (drained) baked beans.
If you decide to make it yourself my advice is that you put the last two ingredients in at the end rather than the beginning – because otherwise the couscous sticks to the bowl and the beans just turn to paste.
If you don’t feel full up after a couple of bowls of that then I suggest you have some (speed) fruit and fat free natural yogurt with a bit of stevia and some cinnamon for dessert.
If you haven’t had your healthy extra then bung in 40g of rolled oats too (my trusty fry light cap measures out just about the right amount – which is 7 syns if not a HE).
It’s worth noting that this picture has Sainsburys Basics low fat natural yogurt in it – which is synned on Slimming World’s plan at 0.5 per 100g whereas fat free is lower in calories and ‘free’.
As you can see from the nutritional info (low fat on the left and fat free on the right) there’s a difference of around 100kcal for a 500g pot.
Personally I can’t tell the difference in taste but others I know prefer the slightly more decadent alternative!
Anyhow – enough typing.
I need to get walking.
I’ve got two swims under my belt for March so far (one of which was 50 lengths early this morning) and I need to get another five miles of pavement pounding tacked onto my stats before I can even think about making myself a super sized salad later on this afternoon.
Here’s to new goals and re-focusing on objectives internet!
Davey
An oar each Ok - so my diamond target member badge is in the bag. I've managed to maintain my weight for a year.
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Accepting my diagnosis
Abt three months ago, i was floating at outpatient dept. just a normal day in OPD, my name was at labeling at K8. Finished my lunch, and continued my work. Had the feeling of something stuck at my throat. For normal ppl, they wouldn't think much. But knowing my mom had same problem, i knew this was thyroid issues. Ppl around me told me to not overthink, but its just deep down i know its my thyroid issues. No reason, i just knew.
So, i consulted this friend that i knew went through the same issue. She asked me to wait two weeks to see whether this feelings resolved or not. And i decided to wait. Told my parents abt this and their reaction was u r are just overthinking, maybe its just because of wearing mask, we also feel like that because of wearing mask, try few days without mask, the feeling will resolve, maybe its just sore throat, don't worry u eat this, eat that, pray to god, everything will disappear, you don’t know the power of god. Hmmm i do believe in god, but i pray to god that He help me to go through this with strength and courage.
The feeling in throat just became the new normal. i was getting used to it, so kinda forgotten abt this thing. Abt two weeks past. One day one of my friends said she wanna test for thyroid, and it was going to be a good chance for me to do as well, so i decided to do with her. For someone who is scared of needles and blood, its was really scary. But i felt that i had no choice since i have to make the thing in my throat disappear.
After two days, asked my friend to help me check my thyroid results. I was on leave on that day. i just woke up and msged my friend to ask the results. was getting ready to go down, i simply checked my phone, and there was a msg from my friend. Opened my WhatsApp and clicked on the image. that moment when i saw my TSH level my heart literally stopped. yup, i was scared.
Came down and told my parents abt it, as usual they blamed me for my condition. i was literally helpless. when u get to know that u are sick, but u got blamed for something which is not ur mistake. i immediately texted my cousin, MO in diff hosp. actually didnt ask her anything just showed her my results. The talk with her calmed me down. she asked me to get few blood tests and try to get referral letter to endocrine.
the next day i went to staff clinic. that's the only thing that came to my mind to do. Waited in front of the staff clinic for almost one hour. my anxiety came back. i was really nervous, till i could really feel my heart racing up.was the last person to see dr that day, and they finally called my name.
Entered the room, and the nurse scanned me, she was like" u got a fever", the she wanted to take my blood pressure and heart rate. as soon she saw my bp & hr, she alarmed the dr. very hard to make to dr believe that the results shown is not true. but ended up he asking me to take deep breaths and repeat the test a few times until my bp &hr shown in normal.
The check-up went pretty much as usual. he asked abt my symptoms and I showed him my blood test. he saw my throat and touched my neck to see the extent of swelling. he wrote me a referral letter to medical. after asking where was MOPC clinic, i walked of the room.
upon reaching there, i passed my referral letter to the staff nurse incharge. the waiting game continued. waited for another 1 hr, just for the nurse to give me one month later appt date and a few blood test forms.
informed my cousin abt this, and she was worried since she wsaid for my level of TSH need to start treatment immediately. she told me that she will get back to me soon.
later the next week, she msged me saying to meet a dr from mopc the next day itself. came back home then realized, how to meet dr without any other baseline blood test results. so brought my sis back to hosp, so she can run some test before i meet the dr.
the ride there was literally the scariest. i have night blindness, and rain literally start to pour like hell. very heavy rain. i still had to drive. was trying to go slow, but at the same time fast since my sis just got back from night shift and haven't sleep yet. at a bridge almost near my hosp, my car skided to the other lane due to the water level that start to rise up. my heart stopped. but i came back to my sense asap, and brought back my car to the right lane. and i drove back like nothing happened. i knew at that moment something bad is going to happen to me soon.
As soon we were done taking blood and my sis send the samples to lab, I drove back home. Emptied my mind although a lot of things were still there. That night I couldn’t sleep much since I was nervous. The next day, woke up, and thankfully I managed to take off for that day.
On the way to the hosp, I knew something was wrong with my car because of the incident yesterday. I thought I had punctured my tyre, so I don't dare to look at my car back when I reached so that my feelings is not disturbed. reached there pretty earlier so was hanging out with one of my friend and then went to get my results printed.
Walked to the clinic slowly, knowing something scary is waiting for me. Asked the staff nurse abt the dr that I abt to meet, but they just say he might not be coming in on that day. I was kinda helpless but no choice, I literally sat there in front of the clinic with some hope he might pass by. After abt one hour, the staff nurse finally called my name and asked me to register. I get myself registered and passed the file back to the staff nurse.
Waited back again till the dr back from ward round. And finally, the staff nurse called me and I entered the dr’s room. To be honest, he was the sweetest dr that I have met. He first made me sit, started with asking abt my symptoms, did some physical exam on my neck and he finally took a piece of paper. He explained to me abt what is hypothyroidism. At that time, actually I spaced out. I wasn’t even listening properly to what he was saying. The reason, cos I thought this was all just a dream. I was just saying yes or no for everything he asked. He asked me to read about Hashimoto also. He handed me my prescription and I went out of the room. Did my antibody blood test that day after that.
The next few days, I was playing back all the questions that the dr asked. I know I wasn’t in my right state of mind at that time but after a few day I was clearing my head and I realised actually I had more symptoms that I actually thought I had.
Days went by, and I got to know my transfer is soon. So I managed to change my appointment to one week earlier. Did my blood test and checked it. Was actually relieved that my results was much better compared to the other time.
The day of my second appointment came by. Met a dr, and I knew she wasn’t that experienced. I didn’t ask her much also since I don't think she knew much. She ordered another test as said by the earlier dr. she also asked me to continue my old dose.
One week passed, and I decide to ask my friend to check my antibody test. After abt one hour she reply with the result. Actually after looking at it, actually I my mind went blank. I wasn’t scared or sad , to be honest I had no feelings. Msged my sis to confirm my diagnosis and she confirmed it. Its autoimmune thyroiditis.
Cam back home, was thinking whether if I should inform my parents. At first I thought of not informing since I don't want to worry them. But later on, I just wanted to share since I was started to get scared myself. Yup, the conversation didn’t go as I thought it would but their reaction was expected. From starting to blame my choice of food, start to control what I should eat, asked me to not eat outside and my dad started abt yous know god can make any disease just disappear, and a lot of nonsense that made me regret my decision.
The conversation abt that stopped on that day and no one seemed to care or remember or asked me anything. Had a few close and best friends keep checking on me. Started to read more abt this, I thought reading more would make me worry less but actually made me feel worse.had this best friend who keep scolding me for overthinking, but seriously I cant stop.
Weekend came so binged watch a Korean drama so that I don't overthink. I followed my mum to tesco and I got myself some Kellog’s muesli. Came back, my dad saw it and he started. He first asked isn’t it high in sugar content? I was like, u no need to eat, I just bought so I and my sis can eat have them for breakfast. Then he said, actually for your condition u shouldn’t eat much sugar right? and the fight started. I tried my best to make them understand that food is not the cause or will make things worse. But they insist saying me always eat outside, don't eat oranges are the reason that I get autoimmune. The fight stopped when I gave up on explaining to them.
Currently just waiting for my blood test and my next appointment to clear up all my questions regarding my diagnosis.
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Survival Guide to ASI 19
I have been attending the autosport show for the past three years, and every year I leave feeling exhausted, battered, brusied, emotionally drained and worse of all, like I never want to stand up ever again. In fact last year I refused to leave my hotel bed. In fact I’ve lived in mine since last year.
My train of thought was if I could prepare myself for this year then maybe, just maybe it wont be as bad. Which then of course I thought, for those of you that are as unprepared as myself, or who have never attended, you may like to know what’s in my survival guide. Here is the key items I will certainly be taking with me over our two days. I will also be throwing in some key advice as well, so make sure to grab a cuppa and a notepad as you may want to remember these;
1. Comfey shoes - that is a given. But if your like me and cant resist a pair of heels then make sure to take a pair of flats as spare. As even the comfiest of trainers have failed me in the past. There is coat and bag check in points HOWEVER as we found out - do NOT leave these to the last minute to collect as they move everything that is not collected before the closing hour to a room soooooo far away it might as well be in the next town. And don’t think there is nice big arrows on the floor to leading you to where this room is.
That was the last thing you want after walking/standing for the past 10 hours straight.
2. Water - make sure you take as much water you can stuff in you bag as possible. Oh! Plus anything sugary. You dont want to have to wait in line, pay an extortionate amount for something you can get from tesco’s on the way in for half the price, and you will need the ‘pick me up’.
We usually try and hit up a small Asda or Tesco express from Birmingham City Centre before getting the train to the NEC.
TIP: Try and stay in the city centre and get the train across. It is normally half the price of hotels and parking at the NEC direct. The trains cost us about £5 for a return per day and run regularly so we can pick and chose when we leave. The train station is direct from the city centre and is less than a 10 minute walk into the entrance of the AutoSport Show.
3. Live Show - honestly we used this for the past few years as a way of making sure we had a scheduled sit down in. It is very hard to find somewhere out of the way and quiet to take half an hour to eat. The show’s stage just is not big enough in my opinion. The show is good but once you have seen it one year it doesn’t change to the next. See once then Skip.
4. Know your timetable - the show is huge. There are three main parts and if you are wanting to catch a audience with a driver or an award show at a certain time then make sure you keep an eye on it. It is quite hard to get from point A to point B in another segment at the show if your running late. Trust us - WE KNOW.
TIP: the crowds are dense and people are unpredictable. Someone somewhere will just stop all of a sudden and people will just come out of no where. If you have small kids try get them a balloon so you can spot them in the crowd if they slip away.
5. Take video, not photos - I know there will be hundreds if not thousands of photos online or social media but there is not nothing like getting to relive the sound and experience again later. Last year I seen so much that they never appeared online. Plus it is always nice to then go over things and show friends that didn’t make it to the show.
6. Don’t be afraid - go up and talk to that person on that stand, even if it is intimidating . It is their job to speak to you. Even if you dont know what to say they will be mostly happy to chat, they wont be stuck to a stand looking like a lemon, bored. Take it from someone who used to be that person. It makes their day when someone shows an interest, even if it is a “hey, what is going on here on your stand?”.
Plus you’ll probably seem more confident doing it and may even make a contact.
TIP - As I said previously there are three segments to the show and these change from Trade to Public days. Trade days are Thursday & Friday where as Public is Saturday & Sunday.
The right section around the corner is all cars, show cars, modified cars, large scale items on show. Normally there is the occasional secret quiet seating area and race simulator round here.
Middle section is where most of the fun happens and is defiantly the most lively. This is where most of the stages, live acution (you pay to go in and view these cars, you cant just walk in. But you can gather round and listen to what these cars go for), motorsport clubs and smaller products for consumers are avaible to buy.
Left hand side is where some of the food trucks and sitting areas are. This section always houses the most readily avaible items for sale, and random selection of vehicles and people. Last year we seen the rally cross cars and grass root racers next to the now revived Bloodhound. Amazing place to see things you didn’t expect. This section on the public days also houses the younger children play areas, car clubs, and most importantly though, it has the bar.
Hopefully these tips will be useful and give you an insight in to the Autosport Show.
Any questions contact us over social media on our Instagram @CloseRacing or Facebook @CloseRacing.
We will be in attendance through out the Friday (Trade Only Days) and Saturday (Public Day).
We hope to see you there,
Lyndsay
#Survival guide#Tips#Birmingham#Auction#Autosport show#Top guide#ASI19#NEC#Show cars#Live action arena#Motorsports#British racing#Autosports International#ASI18#Because race cars
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