#i was going to say it was a knife in the kidneys but idk if i should be invoking Kody brown

[spurgie-cousin]

one part of adhd that i really hate is just knowing there's people out there that think of you as an unreliable or careless person 😕 like how i perceive time and the passing of time has been an issue since i was a kid, i was always chronically late to things (and still am sometimes) so a lot of ppl i know have running jokes about that, but some of them like my family definitely don't understand the connection bt the two things so i know there's sometimes actual anger and frustration behind the jokes. and that they just probably think im a selfish person who doesn't care about other people's time when in reality ive bawled in my car on the way to an event i was supposed to be at 20 mins ago so many times bc i felt like i tried so hard not to do that and just something went wrong, again.

i also lose stuff constantly and throughout my life i've lost some pretty important things, which not only makes me feel awful but makes people who don't understand just assume i'm a careless moron who doesn't understand the value of things when literally nothing could be further from the truth bc i went through a period of being broke as shit for years....so if anything i really feel like i place too much value on some things bc subconsciously I'm worried that if something happens to it I won't be able to fix or replace it. if I didn't live with someone else who kept me in check I'm almost certain there are things I'd like, hoard.

idk sometimes i try to explain the connection to these kinds of things to people and you can just see it in their face that they don't really believe you and might think you're just trying to come up with excuses. and it makes me want to be so defensive bc i try sooooooo hard all the time and it's so upsetting when you're doing that and STILL having these issues‼️ like the fight to convince myself that I'm trying to cope with a disorder and I'm not inherently just bad and dumb after actually believing that for nearly 3 decades is an every day uphill battle so 🥲 to know a lot of people would agree with my past self and can't understand that is hard

[toxicanonymity]

omg the way every inch makes me drool idk what u did to me i haven’t been the same since 😃 ur so talented i owe u my kidney for that fic alone ! would ever consider part two?? no pressure !!!

EVERY INCH 2

2200 words, m!ghostface x f!reader

follows Every Inch. NEXT: Every inch 3

SERIES MASTERLIST

A/N: He's never unmasked. He is night walks coded. Thank you for all the love on my first Ghostface fic. This was a "one shot fail" because of your engagement & enthusiasm. WARNINGS: I8+ piv, noncon, he calls himself daddy, voyeurism, dirty talk, masturbation, knifeplay, hair pulling, manhandling, choking kinda, degradation, pet names. NO USE OF Y/N. 

SUMMARY: Last time you saw ghostface, he was unconscious from the car wreck and you had your way with him. Now, he's coming to take what's his.

You've put Ghostface behind you, at least in terms of fearing for your life. He's finally left you alone. He must be too humiliated to face you after you restrained him and had your way with him in the car while he was passed out. You still look at the picture you took every day.  You'd like to get it printed and stick it on your bathroom mirror.  He looks so pathetic with his own mess all over his robe. But it's not just the humiliation you love to see. It's his cock. . .

Yeah, his cock.  You've thought about it more than a few times. He would've given you every inch. All you had to do was ask. And the video of him whimpering? You save that for special occasions. Like when you need to cum in a hurry. 

It's Friday night and you're lying in bed after getting home from seeing a movie.  You make sure your vibrator is charged before you start reading, but soon enough you get distracted.  You're looking at your video of Ghostface coming all over himself when a call pops up on the screen. No ringtone.  Your phone is still on silent from the theater.  

The restricted number still makes your heart jump even after such an empowering victory. But you rip the bandaid off and answer it on the first ring. "Hello?"

"So... how'd you like the movie?" the voice changer asks you. 

You panic and hang up, but when he calls right back, you answer again. "This isn't funny, whoever you are."

"You know it's me, baby. You feel it in your. . . pants."

"What do you want?"

"I asked how you liked the movie." 

Friday night. Lucky guess. You know he’s not going to let it go, so you might as well answer. You’re not going to give him the satisfaction of acting aghast that he knows what you did tonight.  "Fine, I liked it. It was fun,” you say dismissively. 

"Picked a bad time to refill your drink. . .  Missed a great kill."

Your heart jumps. ". . .you were there?" The theater wasn't even that crowded. How could he go undetected? Surely you would have recognized something about a man you rode into oblivion. 

He's bemused. "What, you thought I was gone? Nowhere?”

"wishful thinking," you reply. 

Ghostface says, “Oh, we both know what you really wish for. . .”

You’re not even going to argue. 

“How was your date?" 

"How was yours with your hand?" You retort.

"You didn't look interested.” 

"What, are you gonna ask me out?" Your face heats up as you hear your own words.

"Not tonight. 'Cause you've got a date with that toy and my picture, don't ya?”

You freeze. 

He taunts, "Want a third wheel?"

You ask, "How long have you been watching me?"

"Never stopped, sugar." You feel like a fool for thinking he had. “I’ve just been a little. . . distracted.” 

You scoff. 

". . . Okay, did you call just to talk?"

"Wanted some audio with my visual this time."

"Pervert."

“oh I'm the pervert," he chides. Your face is burning up.

"You know, you’ve still got something of mine.”  His knife. You’ve hid it somewhere special.  “Keep comin’ for it. . .but don’t wanna interrupt you.”  

You look out your window, which faces the woods.  "Cause you put on a good show, baby." There’s never been a reason to close the curtains.  You preferred to see danger coming. Danger like him. A lot of good that’s done you. 

“You’re a creature of habit, aren’t you?” 

Are you that predictable?  

“Lucky for me,” he adds darkly.  His breathing becomes audible.  “Oh, you like this, don't you . . . knew ya would. . .  .  .Dripping already.” His voice is steady through the equalizer, but his speech pattern tells you his dick is hard. And god damn if he isn’t turning you on. 

“Dip a finger and show daddy how wet you are.” 

Before you know it, you're doing it. You don’t show him, but you curiously dip you fingers and pull apart the clear string of of your arousal

“Two fingers . . let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”  You lie there clenching your thighs together. 

“Ah, fuck it. Go ahead, turn it on,” he says but you don’t move. You clench your thighs together.  “Turn it on,” he repeats firmer, and something possesses you to turn your vibrator on. 

“Yeah, that’s it . . .”

You don’t even need the picture now, or the video, or your reading. But you don’t exactly want to let him make you come this fast. 

He sighs and says, “You’ve got a nice, juicy pussy." He spits, which the voice changer doesn’t process.

You close your eyes and recall what it felt like impaling yourself on his cock. 

"You don't have to say it," he reassures you menacingly. "I know I’ve got a nice cock.” 

He’s right about that.  You close your eyes as you touch yourself.  You’re too horny to think straight, but in the back of your mind, you try to tell yourself he killed your friends. He killed your friends. It doesn’t make you any less turned on. You sigh in shame at yourself. How does Ghostface have you wrapped around his finger?

“Oh, it’s only natural, baby. This cock’ll fuck you right up.” God, why does that turn you on? “In the guts and the head.” 

"Real shame I wasn’t awake.” He breathes heavily for a few seconds. "Coulda been even better for you.” 

You fail to suppress a moan as heat is bubbling in your core. 

“Yeah. . .Can’t stop thinkin' about this cock, can ya?” 

You turn up the intensity of your vibe. 

“Not everyday someone takes every inch of this.” He moans weakly then spits again. “Filthy girl.  Swallowed it right up.” 

“So tell me, sugar," his breathing is even heavier now. "How do you want it?”

“What if i don’t” you lie, then gasp at the tension in your core.

“Then why’d you take it,” he says with a bite and the heavy breathing stops. 

“Because,” you pant. “It was there.”

You’re getting close.  “How do you want me,” you self-loathingly ask. He doesn’t answer. You look at your phone and he’s gone. Shit. You open the video you took of him and as soon as you hear him whimper, your body jerks as the tension bursts inside you. As soon as you finish pulsing, the regret hits you like a tidal wave. So fucked up. Soooo disgusting.  You need a shower. 

—---

You take a long, hot shower, listening to music. You sigh, feeling a little better already. You turn off the water.

“Soaking wet. That’s how I want you.” You freeze and the only sound is the dripping water for a few seconds while the song changes.  

“Come on, you’re smarter than this.” The voice changer echoes through your bathroom and you almost fall over. “What’s next? Going down to the basement?”

You stand silently in the shower with your heartbeat echoing in your ears.  There’s nothing you can do.  You squat down, hugging your knees.  There’s no good option.   

The shower curtain slowly draws open and he looms above you.

“My turn, baby."  The glint of a knife–your own kitchen knife–catches your eye. He tilts his head slightly and observes you for a moment.  Then he pulls your hair and violently forces you to your feet. You begin to slip and he catches you, then manhandles you out of the tub and you whimper. You’re thrashing around wet and naked.  He drags you to the bathroom sink and puts you between him and the sink, both of you facing the mirror. He reaches out and wipes the mirror with his robe to make sure you can see. 

The sight is surreal. You’re completely nude with Ghostface up against you.  One gloved hand cups your breast while the other raises the knife.  He stays behind you and holds your own kitchen knife to your throat.  

He inhales audibly. “So clean and so filthy.”  

You elbow him in the gut. “Let go of me.” 

“Afraid not, baby. . .” The hand leaves your breast and slides lower.  He presses on your hip, bringing you tight against him. “Too late now.” His hips push forward and the massive shape of his hard cock makes you weak. 

He holds you still with just one of his big arms as you struggle.  “Coulda had it how ya wanted.” 

The unwelcome throb between your legs is spreading through your abdomen. 

“Now you’re gonna take it right here.”  He keeps you pinned to the counter, the arm with the knife holding you still while he lifts his robe and tugs his PJ pants down.  “You’ve put me behind you after all.”  He jerks you back against him, pulling you off the counter and holding you tight against his hard dick.  He lightly trails the tip of the knife down your cleavage and your stomach, dipping into your belly button on its way down to your mound. Then he holds it handle-up and teases your cunt with the flat of the knife as you watch in the mirror. The cold metal sends a shiver down your spine and you watch your nipples harden.

“Who are you?”

“Your favorite bad guy. Ask me a. . . harder one.” He grinds himself against you.

“What do you want?”

“To know what your insides feel like.” You suck in a deep breath and register the smell of weed as his cock twitches against your bare skin. “When I’m awake,” he adds. 

He pries your legs apart with his knee, then his glove brushes your inner thighs as he aligns his cock at your entrance. “Oh you’re ready ready,” he says. He notches himself with the thick head of his cock resting snug against your wet little hole, then he holds you tight and shoves himself into you with a sigh.  You have to try not to moan with the most welcome stretch. “Hell yeah,” the mask says into your ear. Thank God you’re so wet, because there is a lot of him. He pulls back, then slams into you, bottoming out with a grunt then another sigh. You watch your face in the mirror and try to wipe the enjoyment off it. 

The hand with the knife rests against your chest as he pounds you. “You’re lucky you’re so hot.” You want to memorize the feeling of his cock inside you so you can come to it later instead of giving him the satisfaction right now.  He pants as he thrusts into you harder.  “So. . .damn. . . hot.” You look down watching your breasts jiggle as he rails you. “I don’t think so. . . baby.” He grabs your chin and makes you look back up at the mirror. Your drooping eyelids give away how good you feel. 

“Take it like a bad girl.” He grunts and brutally fucks you in the way you’re afraid only he can. No, no, you shouldn’t be thinking thoughts like this. “A real bad girl.” A climax is gathering in your lower belly.  “Cock hungry little slut,” he bites and it makes you twitch. “This pussy’s mine now, you know.” 

He buries himself inside you for another minute and makes it rough. “Now or never baby," he pants. “Know you wanna come on this cock.” God, you do. “Do it now.”  He slams into you harder than ever and groans as he begins to pulse inside you.  You can’t stop it. The feeling of his climax trips you into your own.  Your needy cunt chokes his cock, milking him of an unfathomable load.  He fucks you through it and your body jerks into his imposing, robed form. His cum is in every crevice of your core.  You can’t help but moan and sigh.

“Good girl,” he says.

His cock slides out of you, leaving a void that slowly caves in on itself. He tucks it back into his pants. 

------

Ghostface forcibly positions your chin to take one last look in the mirror. Then he picks up your phone from the counter and forces you to swipe the camera on.  He points it at the mirror and says, “say cheese.” He tosses your phone back on the counter, then slams you chest-first into the back of the door with an impact. He holds the knife to the side of your neck and says, “you’re welcome.” He really smells like weed.

“Now where’s my knife.”

“I don’t have it,” you claim. 

“I don’t believe you.” 

“What’s so special about it?”

“It’s mine.” 

“The cops have it.” 

“No they don’t. Why are you lying?”

You’re not really sure. He presses the flat of the knife so hard against your throat you start to choke. “Okay,” you manage hoarsely. He lets you breathe.  You look behind him toward the toilet. 

He drags you by the elbow to the toilet. He opens the back of it and the knife is wrapped up in a grocery bag. “You watch too many movies,” he says. He pushes you out of the way, opens the door, and leaves. The song turns to Call Me by Blondie.

NEXT: PART 3

--------------------------

Please engage (reblog/comment)  if you want more of this <333 It might go a long way in motivation.

Yes this is my night walks coded ghostface but I think most people reading this don't know what night walks is lol.

Call Me:This Blog::Red Right Hand:Canon. But in this case it especially makes sense 🥹

@hearteyed-shawty had a song rec last time: I'm Yours by Isabel Derosa.

Slasher master list

@ghostslittlegf @sunflowerleii @igotmajordaddyissues @rileyquinn07

[deadghosy]

WHAT ABOUT HAZBIN HOTEL X EYELESS JACK READER ?!

Hungry for some kidneys 😋🏃‍♀️

STOPPP CAUSE I HAD A CRUSH ON HIM- WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME BRO😭 I THOUGHT THIS MAN WAS SOOOO FINE🦆💗 which he still is 🤭😘

HAZBIN HOTEL X EYELESS JACK! READER

prompt: an eyeless man gets dared to go inside of a cartoon for some free “food”

Ben had dared you to go inside of this cartoon show that was becoming popular. You said hell no of course….but then he said the impossible…

“Would you either go in the cartoon for kidneys or listen to me tell you the whole script of the new movie.” Ben says with a knowing smirk at which one you would chose.

Never in your life have you jumped into a tv before so quick. But here you are as you stand in the middle of a red twin with dead bodies around. So you smile behind your blue mask and got to work.

You were so busy kidney hunting, you didn’t notice a tall red figure behind you smiling intrigued at how you were only looking for kidneys with your scalpel. You felt skinny hands touch your shoulders as you immediately tried to stab the hand quickly. But it was a wrong move because you got pushed by some green magic.

“Quick reflexes. Amazing my friend! You would do good for this hotel im helping” the man said as you stared at him. Before you could protest you got transported to a damn hotel.

NOW ENOUGH STORY MODE TYPE SHIT! NOW FOR THE FUN🔥

I imagine Angel one time seeing you use your tongues to eat a kidney that was in disguise and Angel had so many dirty jokes for you.

“Omg, I bet you’re a woman pleaser aren’t you?” Angel says suggestively as you just raise a brow at him not knowing what he is saying.

Charlie would try to get you to wear brighter colors, but you literally deny it as if you are still stuck in your emo phase making Charlie get war flashbacks to her own emo phase.

Imagine taking your bluemask off and scaring sir Pentious into thinking you are a ghost to steal his eyes😭 so evil but so funny.

I can see husk literally side eyeing you as you just eating. Like he is just so confused how you don’t bite on none of your other tongues.

I know some people draw ej with black fingernails, but what if Angel had painted them for you instead 💗

Imagine a cartoony moment where Angel is like “ah shit I lost my wallet..” and STARTS TO LOOK FOR IT IN YOUR EYES 😭 straight up digging his hands in ya eyeless holes to look for it and he actually did find it with a smile saying “ah Hah found it!”

Legit Angel will remind you of Ben as Angel will shove his phone in your face saying some dumb shit like. “Do you see it? Do you see it ? Do you see it?” As he has a stupid smirk on his face. You snapped grabbing Angel by his throat as the crew tried to pull you off of Angel as he struggles to breathe. “It was worth it…”

I headcannon EJ! Reader and Alastor being compatible friends because they both eat from human meat. But both different as EJ! Reader just eats the kidneys as Alastor eats the whole things

NAH IMAGINE KID EJ!READER GETTING THE LEFTOVER KIDNEYS FROM PARENT! ALASTOR’S PLATE😭💗💗 (so damn cute)

“No no, you use the little fork and the knife to cut it.” “….I literally eat with my hands.”

Just two hungry boys staring at each other while discussing flavors to make out of people.

The egg boiz likes to bring you dead sinners as you had promised them to read them bed time stories for kidneys..I mean a fair trade is a fair trade. 🦆

Idk but for me it makes sense for EJ! Reader to bite someone’s hand while sleeping cause in the fanon! slender house they are use to pranks being pulled off so many times.

Literally husk was trying to wake you up cause it was your duty to do the bar tendering and you ALMOST bit his whole hand off if it wasn’t for Husk’s scream.

I can see Lucifer trying to show you his ducks because he found how amusing how quiet and blunt you are as he practically shoved a duck in your face forgetting you don’t have eyes.

“Do you see how cute and amazing this is?! It’s a duck that can do the splits while shooting fire!” “I see.” *awkward silence* “I’m so sorry-” “sorry for what.”

I can see how your dynamic with Lucifer is like “I think I forgot something x I have it in my hand..”

Charlie once had you in red as you actually just stood there while she took photos of you. It was like you were ready for the first day of school as Charlie squealed happy to see her new staff wearing red.

“SMILEE!” Charlie say excited as you just stand there trying to smile but it came out strained showing all of your sharp teeth. “Yeah don’t ever smile again.” Angel said in the background as you jumped at him like foxy in fnaf 2 😭

I imagine you just standing there as Alastor puts his arm on your shoulder like an arm rest. Literally you are “😐 what?” face as Alastor is obviously “😄 what a lovely day!”

I can see you and niffty just playing random games during break time as husk just cleans glasses at the bar. It’s a relaxing sight for once without you trying to get someone’s kidney.

I imagine you and Adam having so much beef as he is annoying asf to you.

“Why are you eyeless? So you can’t see how ugly you are?” “No, so I can’t see how fat you basically are so it won’t affect me.”

THE WAY YOU GAGGED HIM- 😭🤭‼️

I can see the Vee’s trying to get you on their side but you would probably just flip them off as you eat a kidney.

I can imagine Vaggie trying to find out why there is black goo on the hotel stairs to find you are crying since Charlie banned you to scalpel anyone’s kidneys.

Vaggie and Charlie give you the angel dust treatment and try to find any scalpels you have in your room

I can see after the battle of the heaven and hell, you would just stand there like “🧍🏾what the fuck just happened..” as you try to scalpel a few angels only for vaggie to pull your blue hoodie away from one.

When Lucifer first met you, he thought you was a teen demon who just got hired. He wasn’t wrong for the hired part, when you first spoke that man thought he heard god himself as his eyes were wide at you.

I can headcannon Alastor bringing a sinner to your door with a note that say, “eat well <3” and you just stand there like….. “did I just get adopted by a cannibal..” you said picking up the unconscious sinner and grabbing a scalpel.

NAH CAUSE I USE TO BE FERAL FOR THIS MANNNN😨😭😭💗💗 HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE THIS ONE!🦆‼️

[yumbi]

Okay so I rewatched the show just so I could keep track in my head every time Rick has abused Morty. I stopped after the dinosaur episode because I am lazy but anyway this list is the order that they appear in the show (sorry I didn’t include the episodes I didn’t think about it until I was like half way through).

Most of this is just my personal opinion but I’m always right soooo idc /s

1. While drunk Rick drags Morty off of his bed, slamming his head into the floor.

2. Drives Morty around while intoxicated (every time this happens again I am just going to put the number)

3. Leaves Morty in a vehicle with a bomb set to explode

4. Murders Morty’s classmate in front of Morty

5. Denies Morty access to an education by forcing him out of school (there’s a lot but I’ll count the big ones)

6. Rick coerced Morty into putting two mega seeds in his anus

7. Rick forces Morty to kill a group of people

8. Rick slaps Morty across the face(every time this happens again I am just going to put the number)

9. Rick gets naked in front of Morty (every time this happens again I am just going to put the number)

10. Rick brings Morty into a sex dungeon

11. Rick gives Morty three pills to shut his kidneys down

12. While drunk, Rick held a knife against Morty’s throat and threatens to kill him

13. Rick forced Morty to kill clones of his family

14. 2

15. 8

16. Rick forces Morty to bury a dead version of himself (every time this happens again I am just going to put the number)

17. Rick attempts to shoot Morty’s son

18. Rick gets into a physical fight with Morty (you already know this shit is gonna happen again)

19. Rick berates Morty (do I really have to say it?? Come one now be serious)

20. 19

21. 19

22. Rick fires a gun that he intends to shoot Morty and Summer with

23. 19

24. 19

25. 19

26. Rick shoves Morty

27. 2

28. 2

29. 19

30. Rick allows Morty to be attacked by an alien (every time this happens again I am just going to put the number)

31. 30

32. 30

33. Rick pulls down Morty’s pants then shoves him down a flight of stairs

34. Rick shoots Morty

35. Rick modified Morty’s body without his consent (every time this happens again I am just going to put the number)

36. 9

37. 2

38. Purposely exposes Morty to mass murder

39. 7

40. 19

41. Rick tases Morty

42. 19

43. 19

44. 19

45. 19

46. 19

47. 38

48. 35

49. Rick uses Morty’s hand to strangle someone????

50. I’m just starting it now but everything Rick does is the vindicators episode is a crime against humanity

51. 9

52. Rick leaves Morty with a bomb while drunk on several occasions according to Morty but we only see it happen one time.

53. 5

54. Rick takes Morty on a six day adventure that almost kills him

55. 19

56. 19

57. 19

58. 19

59. Rick allows Morty to date an adult under his supervision (every time this happens again I am just going to put the number)

60. Rick puts Morty in a headlock (every time this happens again I am just going to put the number)

61. 60

62. Rick throws Morty

63. 9

64. 8

65. 9

66. 34

67. 34

68. 34

69. 59

70. 5

71. Rick slaughters Bebo and makes Morty crawl in his insides

72. 19

73. 8

74. 18

75. Rick tricks Morty into jerking off an alien

76. 35

77. 30

78. 30

79. Rick makes Morty bury Santa Claus

80. 30

81. Rick juggles Morty’s body parts

82. Rick hunts Morty

83. Rick turns Morty into a dog?????

84. Rick does space drugs in front of Morty

85. Rick drags Morty out of his seat

86. Rick purposely drives recklessly in an attempt to endanger Morty

87. 18

88. 35

89. Rick forces Morty to climb a mountain

90. Rick sends Morty through a portal that fucking lights his ass up?? Like electricity??? Idk but it hurt

91. You can ignore this one if you want but I count Rick sabotaging Morty’s Netflix movie as abuse

92. 5

93. Rick drugs Morty

94. Rick drugs himself while driving Morty home which makes him crash the car, putting Morty’s life in danger

95. While orgasming Rick asks Morty to stay and watch because it’s “better now”

96. 19

97. 19

98. Rick has a soul orgy with Morty and his sister plus a bunch of dragons

99. Rick exposes Morty to space making him suffocate for a little bit

100. 19

101. 19

102. Rick punches Morty in the face

103. 19

104. 19

105. 19

106. 19

107. Rick kills Morty

108. 18

109. 5

110. 8

111. 9

112. 26

113. 19

114. Rick abandons Morty for two crows

115. Rick traps Morty in the matrix

116. 35

117. 9

118. Rick shoots Morty through a bunch of portals until he vomits.

Feel free to add anything I missed because I definitely did miss some!

[percontaion-points]

King’s Men chapter 12

Click to see the rest of the snark & image descriptions.

Chapter 12

Neil didn't understand, so he let it slide. "Is it exhausting seeing everything as a fight?"

Well, everybody else had their sole personality trait called out. So we might as well call Andrew out on his shit, too.

"Last month you shut the Catamounts out," Neil said. "Can you do it again tonight?"

"The Catamounts were a wretched team," Andrew said. "They brought that ridicule on themselves."

"Can you or can't you?"

"I don't see why I should."

WHY THE FUCK DID YOU EVEN BOTHER TO COME IF YOU WEREN'T EVEN GOING TO FUCKING PLAY.

"Hello, Junior. Do you remember me?"

Neil's heart lurched to a sick halt. It wasn't his father or Riko, but he would know this voice anywhere. It was Lola Malcolm, one of his father's closest people and one of the two who'd tried teaching Neil how to wield a knife so many years ago.

So important that this is literally the first time we're hearing about her.

"'Sick' is a cold or an STD, child. This isn't 'sick'; this is the end of the road. His kidneys are failing.”

IDK, that sounds pretty sick to me.

"She's dead," he said, almost wheezing through Lola's brutal grip. "She died two years ago after he beat her in Seattle. Do you think she'd have let me go to Palmetto if she was still alive? I signed up because I had nothing left."

I'm pretty sure he went there because he's 99 cents short of a dollar, but sure.

"Go," Lola said, voice nasal as she pinched her nose shut, and everything fell away.

Chapter 12 summary: They have to go out of state for the next game, but can't fly, so they have to drive literally all day. On the bus, Neil and Kevin get into a fight over where Neil's going to sit, but it's not even about where he's sitting. It's about the things that had been promised for the team, by Neil.

Neil ends up sitting behind Andrew, and they get into a fight that starts off with Neil finally calling Andrew out on his shit. However, this morphs quickly into them talking about their own backgrounds for hours and hours. I don't give a shit at this point in the series.

They get to the other school, where they play. As they take a break during halftime, Neil begs Andrew to actually play. Which is no less frustrating than any of the other times he's refused. They win, but what else is new.

In the shower, Neil gets a creepy call from the person who had been sending him the mystery count-down numbers, which finally hit zero. It's from somebody so important in Neil's life that this is literally the first time she's been mentioned. She was his dad's right-hand woman, Lola. Says that his dad got out, and then says all of these other threatening things.

Neil goes back to his team, but only just briefly says goodbye. As the team is trying to get out to the bus to go home, a bunch of fans start flinging things like empty beer bottles and shoes at the team. During the commotion, one of Nathan's men grabs Neil and forces him away from the team, and takes him to Lola.

In the car, Lola starts to talk about how Riko's dad is dying of kidney disease, and that it won't be long before Riko's older brother is in charge. One of the guys then randomly holds up a lighter to Neil's tattoo and starts to burn it. Lola continues to threaten Neil and tortures him; the entire thing is difficult to read. Well, more difficult than usual.

They stop in this random parking lot. It's around this point that the narration stops calling him “Neil” and switches over to “Nathaniel”, which is stupid confusing. They put Nathaniel into the trunk of a dirty cop's car, and take him to his dad.

[xxcureangelxx]

5, 9, 10, 13, 20, 21, 24, 25, 28, 30-35, 38-42, 44-46, 50, 52, 54, 60-62, 66, 71-74, 86-91, 96, 100! 😊

okay I literally have no clue how old this is and if I'm even taking the questions from the right post but here goes I guess? 🙈

<u>5. What is your favorite Color?</u>

PURPLE

<u>9. How tall are you?</u>

about 1,70 meters or 5'7"

<u>10. What shoe size are you?</u>

size 40-41, I think that's about 8 in US sizes?

<u>13. What talents do you have?</u>

uhhh good question... not sure if it counts but I guess I'm quite good at a lot if things but can't do anything extraordinarily well?

<u>20. Are you religious?</u>

Absolutely not. Due to family history and a lot of other things I'm actually against it a lot but people can do whatever they feel like is right for them as long as they don't harm others with it.

<u>21. Have you ever been to the hospital?</u>

Yes, quite a lot actually. practically grew up in hospitals as a baby because of kidney issues, broke both my legs with 4 years old, had to revisit for tests a lot during my childhood because of the kidney issue. it calmed down afterwards until I was back in hospital last year because of my terrible mental health and I'm currently in a rehabilitation clinic for it as well.

<u>24. Baths or showers?</u>

Shower's because we don't have a bathtub

<u>25. What color socks are you wearing?</u>

currently none, I love going barefoot, but usually I wear white, gray or black. I know... I'm a bad gay.. no rainbow socks (;ŏ﹏ŏ)

<u>28. What type of music do you like?</u>

you know.... I hate this question with a passion even though I love music so I'll just throw in my yt-playlist here and everyone who's interested can look through it to get a picture xD not sorted in any way and not a conclusive list at all, I just add songs as I find them

<u>30. How many pillows do you sleep with?</u>

mostly just one at a time but I've got two different ones. one is the normal fluffy kinda pillow, the other is made of some kinda foam material and rather thin.

<u>31. What position do you usually sleep in?</u>

I'm always lying on the side! have been doing that since I was a baby too.

<u>32. How big is your house?</u>

compared to what? 🙈 I'd say decent size for 5 people to live in, would have space for 1-2 more if rooms were used differently but definitely not enough to comfortably live with 12 or even more people like my family used to. we've got like 3 proper sleeping rooms (one of which is the attic so not very nice in terms of heat and the staircase is smack in the middle of the room), a kitchen, a dining room, a big living room, a tiny bathroom that barely fits a toilet and shower, and the basement is a mix of storage, electrics and stuff, washing room/utility room and it's got another smaller room that's been turned back into a small workshop but used to be the room of my brother and later my grandmother.

<u>33. What do you typically have for breakfast?</u>

I guess this is where it shows that I'm german but we usually just eat bread (preferably whole grain) with cheese or slices of salami or ..meat sausage? is that a proper translation? 🤨 idk... it's rather simple really. on the weekend maybe buns and boiled eggs. on the occasion that I'm too tired for it or don't have enough time I eat cereals but it's not very common when I'm at work/school

<u>34. Have you ever fired a gun?</u>

No, and I don't want to

<u>35. Have you ever tried archery?</u>

Yes!! I did last year when I was in the hospital and it was super fun! was quite good at it as well, even for my first try 😤

<u>38. What's the longest you've ever gone without sleep?</u>

I think about 3 days? if we count "barely unconscious for a few hours" as sleep that is... otherwise no clue...my memory of the bad sleepless time is quite hazy lol

<u>39. Do you have any scars?</u>

yeah, quite a few tbh. got 2 huge ones from surgeries due to my kidney issues, well they look like 2 but it's actually multiple ones since they simply cut open party of the old ones again, tiny hooman apparently have very little skin. then I got some other ones here and there from accidents, general dumbness, etc, like when I cut through my sunday morning bun and almost cut half of the tip of my finger off because my mother sharpened the knife and didn't tell me or that time as a kid I couldn't wait for my ironing pearl pictures to be done and burned myself on the hot iron, mostly stuff like that.

<u>40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?</u>

I mean.. if they're a secret... how would I know? ;) not sure if it counts that it took me months to realize I had a crush on my best friend and the feelings were reciprocated and I was too blind to see the signs?

<u>41. Are you a good liar?</u>

Nope. People actually think I'm lying more often than I lie... so.... :/

<u>42. Are you a good judge of character?</u>

I'm.. honestly not sure what this one means? like, am I able to judge what kind of character a person has after barely meeting them or smth? if so, I'm terrible at it

<u>44. Do you have a strong accent?</u>

in german? nope. in english? hmm hard to judge since I rarely hear myself speak. I think the stuff I do know how to pronounce is mostly okay but since I learned it through reading I'm simply unsure of a lot of pronunciations. 'also'.... I can not for the life of me pronouns that word no matter how many times I hear it... it's kinda become a quirk after some classmates pointed it out to me and I'm incredibly aware how terrible I say the word but.... just can't get rid of it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

<u>45. What is your favorite accent?</u>

I.. actually really love the way my best friend talks? 👉👈 they're french btw. just... typical me for struggling to understand them though, already terrible at it in german too...

<u>46. What is your personality type?</u>

honestly, I don't think I can answer that. I'm big on self loathing and everything's pretty shitty so, no thanks

<u>50. Left or right handed?</u>

Right handed. but does it even count id I'm bad at doing things with that hand too? lol

<u>52. Favorite food?</u>

hmmmm tough question... not the biggest fan of food in general a lot of the time... probably Züricher Geschnetzeltes

<u>54. Are you a clean or a messy person?</u>

Definitely messy. my allergies did not like this post trying to clean and tidy up more often though. my depression does not like this post either

<u>60. Do you talk to yourself?</u>

sometimes. quite a bit when watching movies or if I mess stuff up

<u>61. Do you sing to yourself?</u>

barely. got a lot of bad experiences with that so i keep my singing to a minimum. my shower is a great listener though

<u>62. Are you a good singer?</u>

I was in a choir for a few years when I went to 'middle school' and I had like one solo part once but other than that I can't really say because I barely ever sing in front of people

<u>66. Do you like long or shor hair?</u>

this question is currently my absolute nemesis.. I've got suuuper duper long hair and have had it ever since elementary school and I used to be super happy with it and sometimes I still am happy with it but other days, depending on where I'm at genderwise, I absolutely hate it and I just want to take the closest scissors and cut it all off... currently haven't had the guts to look for new hair styles though... but in other people? or women more specifically? I love long hair 🥺

<u>71. What makes you nervous?</u>

Or the shorter question: what doesn't make me nervous... I'd say pretty much everything has got the potential to make me nervous. I'm an overthinker, anxiety is a big thing for me and ptsd makes me scared of almost everything. so.. yeah... sucks to be me sometimes ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

<u>72. Are you scared of the dark?</u>

Yes, very

<u>73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?</u>

I try not to but sadly I sometimes do, even if it's not my place to. I really don't like that part and hope I'll be able to learn not to sometime

<u>74. Are you ticklish?</u>

Yes and I hate it 😭

<u>86. What are you allergic to?</u>

again, easier question: what am I not allergic to... it's... a lot... like, really a lot. with the test on the skin of my arm I reacted to every single substance and the more thorough blood test lead to much of the same result. the absolute worst are birch trees (pitty, love those), then the usual pollen of pretty much every tree or flower, all animals with fur or feathers, dust and... yeah list goes on and on, you get the picture... :/

<u>87. Do you keep a journal?</u>

no.. have tried to multiple times in the past but never made it more than a week... too depressing to write and read... the therapist at the rehab clinic is currently forcing me to try a positivity diary for the millionths time, can't even get that done each day even though I'm doing it on my phone and get notifications to do it each evening...

<u>88. What do your parents do?</u>

making my life hell lol.. okay on a serious note, my father was a car electrician, he's retired by now, my mother is a housewife, she used to work different jobs before her first kid, later on she took care of my grandmother who was suffering from dementia, got some money and retirement points for that too.

<u>89. Do you like your age?</u>

I-... I don't know? it's weird because I both feel a lot younger and a lot older than I am rn....

<u>90. What makes you angry?</u>

another tough question... I actually have anger issues in that way that I'm barely capable of feeling anger... used to be worse but I already worked a lot on it in therapy so there's at least some there now... in the past I simply started to cry and felt overwhelmed by sadness whenever I was supposed to feel anger... so I can't tell very well what makes me angry because I first have to realize that I'm feeling anger or more like should be feeling it....

<u>91. Do you like your own name?</u>

Not really, no, but I guess I finally figured out some reasons why.. I've recently started going by a bit of a different name too but only my closest friends know so far and I'm not sure if I'll be using it irl at all..

<u>96. How did you get your name?</u>

I'm still trying to get my mother to admit that she named me after this song but she keeps denying it.. she's a fan of this band so it would have fit.. but she keeps saying she just liked the name, no long thought process behind it..

my chosen name is a bit of a different story. an ex friend I got to know through yt gave me that nickname almost 10 years ago after I complained that you can't make a shorter nickname out of my birthname and it's also the name of s character I like, especially his voice, and... idk it just feels more gender neutral and I simply feel comfortable with it. it just fit.

<u>100. Color of your room?</u>

same as question 5: Purple 🥰 or... well half the walls are purple, the other half is white

phew... can't believe I made it through all of these....

in case people haven't noticed yet, I'm currently kinda getting back into tumblr? I think I've already stayed a lot longer than any times I tried getting back before. it mostly started because we've got super bad wifi at the clinc I'm at rn and reddit takes up waaayy too much mobile data and... idk, I guess I just missed the vibe of tumblr

I'm not sure how long I'll be able to stick around but we'll see

[izukult]

this is the end {chapter two}

summary / things couldn’t get worse than this. but, they did. the chapter in which everything in your life goes wrong.

warnings / cult, kidnap, actual foRCED cannibalism (if that’s too much it’s under the first break and ends after the second break!), stalking, death, angst, angst, angST, not much peter this chapter, swearing. idk bad stuff man. i use the word silence a million times just call it motif. didn’t proof read.

word count / 2015

notes / wow this is hard to write. PLEASE read my disclaimer. sorry there’s not much peter. this is filler. coolio. this will be like the last chapter that only focuses on what they’re doing to u, i promise this will get momentum

disclaimer / please don’t support or romanticize the abuse in this fic! this is something i’m simply writing to help me deal with trauma and/or my mental health to try to give it a positive spin. i apologize if it is dark, i needed an outlet. :))

-

the white cotton stuck to your skin with the water, leaving your breath to moisturize the air as you gasped. you lifted your chained hands as far as you could, trying to brush the hair that clung to your face. you looked at the cracked porcelain of the lonely bathtub, nausea going to your throat as you saw how your blood mixed in with the ice and the water. your cough was scratchy, burning your throat further as you leaned over, gagging, water spilling up.

“son of a bitch.” you let your head fall towards your chest as tears formed in your eyes again; the sob that left your throat stung almost as bad as the cold. you knew you could get out of this. you weren’t chained to the tub, and they weren’t holding a gun to your head if you dared to move an inch. they wanted you to move, to see if you really could fight the way your personality said you could after what you’d endured. you wanted to lift yourself, heave your body up and make your fragile knees bend, but you didn’t know how to do that without making them shatter. you didn’t know how to breathe without your ribs piercing your lungs. they were killing you and every day you felt your soul disconnecting from your body.

the metal of the handcuffs on your wrists clanged against the tub as you tried to push yourself up. ice pressed against a gash on your stomach (that you didn’t know you had) through the fabric of your dress, evoking a short scream from you. your body racked with sobs that hurt you so much more and you grit your teeth as you continued to try to get up. your body sunk down, trauma holding your bones back.

“god dammit,” the words came out like a desperate prayer and you slammed your hands into the side of the vat. “god fucking dammit!” you were sobbing harder, your cuts pruning along with your skin, but your energy to fight had completely vanished. you knew you’d be in there until someone came for you, and you knew when they grabbed you out it would be a whole lot worse; so you might as well try to enjoy getting clean.

—————

your eyes widened, head shaking rapidly. you jerked your body against the hands holding you, tears welling through your disgust. “no, no, no.” your body thrashed as your eyes stayed trained on the plate in front of you. “no.” it was simple, white ceramic with a silver fork and knife on each of its sides. the white was splotched with red- blood. you gagged slightly, the smell reaching your nose. “fucking no!” you twisted yourself, almost moving out of their grasp. you desperately attempted to stumble away, not caring what kind of beating you would face, but they pushed you forward.

“you have to become accustomed to it,” one of them started as they moved to shove you into the chair. “the queen should have no limits, no weakness.” once you were sat, they were clamping your shoulders. you pressed against the wood of the chair enough to try to tip it, but they simply brought you back up.

“please,” the word was croaked- choppy and sickly and raw. “don’t make me do this, i’ll be good. i promise i’ll be good.” you didn’t typically beg them, and you felt as if any integrity you held was gone. but you’d also never had what you could only assume was a human kidney (you remember peter telling you the shapes of organs one time while you studied for biology, which caused you to tell him he sounded like a serial killer.) in front of you on a fucking plate.

there was silence around you. typically, you would’ve begged for silence. a moment without their heavy breathing or the sound of your pain, but now it was just eerie. they watched you and waited and when you refused to move for the cutlery, they did it themselves. and, for some reason beyond them, you didn’t seem to enjoy it nearly as much as you did when your mother would feed you as a baby.

—————

his fingers traced your arm, nails forming a temporary tattoo.

5, 4, 3, 2, 1

he was vile to you. they all were. your temples ached as he pierced your skin with what could only be described as his claws.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5

“i missed you, pretty girl.” a scowl found its way on your face at the name they’d all become accustomed to calling you- although it was a name only peter should call you. and, quite frankly, his praises of longing for you go unnoticed at the fact you can’t remember which one he is.

you have about thirteen comebacks to each of his phrases of want, but you’d learned that silence was the biggest killer to them.

1

your eyes filled with tears (like they always did) when his hands slid under your top, which didn’t cover much to begin with.

2

“but now it’s just you and me,” the animation of his voice was scratchy to you and you wanted nothing more than to rip the voice box out of his mask.

3

you continued to count in your head, eyesight trained on the wall in front of you rather than the situation presented in front of you.

4

your eyelids started to hang heavy. you were tired. of all of this. you were tired of pretending you were okay.

5

maybe if you fell asleep, this would go quicker. maybe, if you slept well enough, you wouldn’t even remember he was here.

—————

you watched as they set up the camera, feet burning against the cold cement. since that day of exhaustion, the feeling had been perpetual. you wanted to care about how you looked if you knew the world was going to see you (or was that another lie?), but it was the least of your concerns.

‘how did the phrase go? if peter couldn’t handle you at your ugly state during your kidnap, he didn’t deserve you at your best. something like that,’ you thought as they moved you to the middle mark for the perfect angle.

you were certain the recording was trivial. some dumb black market snuff film type shit that honestly no one would end up watching, but more time in front of the camera meant less alone time with them. peter had sworn that you deserved stardom, so maybe this was it.

your eyes darted from the man in front of you to the one who pressed the button on the camera (a riveting job, honestly) and then forward, to the lens.

you didn’t pay much attention as they droned on about you until your loves name got mentioned. your head snapped quickly, eyes widened and gaze afraid.

“and, peter parker, this ones for you.” his head tilted towards you and you became fascinated with the way the inside of your bottom lip tasted.

you shook your head slightly hoping peter would understand you desperately meant this wasn’t about him. you didn’t speak up though. silence was key.

he continued to talk about you, about your glory, and your hands, and your lips, and the way your face felt when they’d hold onto you.

that’s when you realized the smell. you hoped it hadn’t shown on your face, but it probably had. poker had never been your strong suit. and then you were scanning the room again and they could tell and you knew that they wanted this and that they wanted you to know something was up and they wanted to record you finding out and your stomach started to fucking churn.

a sob left your throat as a light you didn’t know existed shined behind you. there had been a curtain between you and the wall that had now been moved and you saw it. the reminiscence of a series of girls who looked somewhat like you.

“oh my, god.” it was a quiet prayer for a being you couldn’t say you believed in as you stared at the heads with hair just like yours, eyes a shade so close to your own. “oh my fucking god.” you were louder this time, your knees wobbling as you struggled to keep your balance.

you couldn’t see their faces but you imagined the men around you were smiling. you didn’t recognize the tears falling until they hit the ground but you ignored it, disgust covering your features as you turned from the girls to the man who had been talking.

“what the fuck have you done?” your voice was raw. you were furious, you were sick, you were sorry. sorry for the people who’d never be able to go home.

“don’t worry, sweetheart, they didn’t come close to you.” you lifted your chained hands to your mouth, retching out a sob.

“you’re- you’re all monsters.” you felt vacant. you felt empty. you felt useless. they had died because of you. they had died because they looked like you.

“oh my god.” you repeated yourself, sobs wracking your body as you were recorded by the long forgotten camera.

“oh, sweetheart, no reason to cry.” he moved towards you, placing a hand on your head, tangling his fingers through your hair. and, you realized, this was the first time you’d truly wanted to kill someone.

you continued to cry, not following the urge to do any harm to him as you stood in your spot.

“did we go too far?” your mind screamed yes. yes you’re evil and you’re bad and i hate you all. yes you went too fucking far. but you stayed unspeaking.

“what do you want, pretty girl?” your eye twitched. you felt it. you felt the physical change in you. you turned your head, eyes meeting the eyes of his mask and you smiled faintly.

“do you really want to know?” your voice was sweet, sickly, and he moved his hand from your hair to your shoulder.

“of course.” your smiled turned to a scowl as you raised your hands to place them atop his own, fingers digging into his hands.

“i want to rip the skin from your fucking hands so you never had the fucking luxury of touching me or those girls.” you moved your hands to his throat, but none of the other men moved to his rescue.

“and then?” you simultaneously leaned into him and brought his head to you, where your nose was against the nose of his mask. “then, i want to blow my brains against the fucking wall.” even though your words came through gritted teeth, each of them were over enunciated.

you shoved him away by his neck, continuing to stand tall as you did so. “and, unfortunately for me, i plan to get what i want.”

your gaze finally found the camera lens again and you let out a small breath of realization. your hands were shaking. you knew there were the girls behind you, and the man you’d been threatening was gasping for breath now. maybe you looked like the monster.

you looked down at your hands, teeth slightly chattering, and you could only imagine how peter felt. he probably hated you. this was your fault. this was your fucking fault. all of it.

your mouth parted slightly and you gulped. “i-” nothing else came out and you bit your lip again, shutting your eyes as tight as you could.

you wanted to sob. to fall apart. to break. but, you had just made a commitment to your captors. you were going to give them hell, and then find your way there. you just hoped peter would understand.

the camera turned off and you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding in.

unbeknownst to you, peter was sat at the tv with wide, glossy eyes, praying you’d get out of there as soon as possible. just not in the way you planned.

-

-

tag list: @greenteavee @jacksnoodlez99 @sarahalkhalifaa @lilsxtan @honeymarvel @awaywithtime @5secondsofpeterparker

[thewaterisblackwithvenom]

HoW DID I NOT REALLY THINK ABOUT THIS

Reading cupofcowboys tags on a Kieran post f*cking. Pointed out another thing to me that makes me ???? about Kieran. 

His day starts out as it has for the past like, month.

Tied to a tree, starving, dehydrated, ridiculed, sobbing.

Is threatened with castration.

To make a point how much he dislikes Colm he flat out states to Dutch Van Der Linde’s big stinky face that he likes Colm less then he likes him, “no offense” (I love that Dutch literally was like “pfft none taken!” he does win points 4 that)

Has to hang onto Marston’s greasy *ss the entire ride to the cabin(yes I’m throwing this in here bc I will never not harass John about why he didn’t BATHE), a man with Great Authority Arthur: John? Shut that boy up. John: Enough out of you! (fsldkfj that’s my boy. Tho honestly, considering how you can f*cking knock your captives in the face on bounty missions, John really gets points for literally just saying “shut up” instead of threatening and/or hitting him. Thank u John) 

While hanging on to Marston’s greasy *ss, has the balls to flat out say that they’re not that different than the O’Driscoll’s. For a guy who obviously wants to live, that is like. One of the dumbest f*cking things he could’ve said. Like boy. You might have a point but mayhaps keep your mouth shut?? Like two minutes ago the giant dude behind you was threatening to castrate you with a knife. But damn go off I guess.

Once they get to the cabin, stays behind and watches his former gang get slaughtered. That could’a been you kid.

Somewhere along the lines picks up a gun?? Honestly that was a bit of a risky move. A prisoner flat out picking up a weapon, and strapping on a damn gunbelt in front of three people who are really just looking for a reason to kill him. Like this was before anything was said about what they were gonna do with him. Wtf was he thinking.

Ofc, saves Arthur’s life. Shot that b*tch in the kidney. Or stomach. Liver. Idk I’m not a doctor I never remember what organs are where leave me alone

Is accused of setting them up, quickly has to blurt out the obvious

Once he’s cleared to go run off, points out he’s pretty much dead out there and flat out states I’m one of you now. Boy.

And then right after they’re like “yeahhhh alright, fine, I guess. Ugh.” he’s all “oh btw did u find the money?? YEA it’s in the chimney!!” and pretty much skips off to go look. This motherf*cker has had literally the worst day. The high point is being dragged into yet another gang who’s only less terrible than the O’Driscolls, and not being castrated or killed. And then he gets genuinely giddy and excitable about stealing money from his ex leader.

If I was half as resilient as Kieran f*cking Duffy, I’d be pretty much unstoppable. I cannot believe I ever thought he’d just be an anxious little pushover lmao.

[prorevenge]

Destroy my childhood, ruin my chance at college, and laugh when I said I was homeless? Lol cool, I'll ruin your life.

Long story. TL;DR at the end.

BACKSTORY: My mother was a really shitty person. I have 4 other siblings. One older sister, 3 way younger, 3 different dads. Before I was born (im a male btw), my oldest sister was taken away from my mother when she was a few months old because she tried to stab/slice the father of my sister WHILE HE WAS HOLDING HER. She lost custody and the dude left her. Older sister goes to live with her fathers family in a different city. CUE LIL OL ME COMING INTO THIS SEXY WORLD. My dad went to jail 2-3 years after I was born for a while, I rarely saw him. He's an alcoholic if that matters. She was a single mother but she made it work and she worked hard. One of the bigger problems was that she took out all her agression and hatred of my father on me as well as work stress and etc. She dealt with sexual abuse growing up which I'm sure definitely affected her relationships and how she treated me as well. Anyways...

Cue me being abused from the age of 4-5 to about 17. Every day was hell. She was extremely strict and her perspective was warped. She was also pretty big in stature and had alot of strength. Examples of her being shitty: I've gotten beaten up badly once because HER room was dirty. The dishes weren't washed and I got beaten soon as I got home, even if there werent dishes when I left to school. If i walked too loud, id get my ass beat. She broke my nose for looking at her the wrong way on my 10th birthday when she brought me a cake I was allergic too(It had peanuts, she knows im slightly allergic but feigned ignorance..) It was more or less every day or every other day. She used her fists/elbows/extension cords/hangers/chairs/canes/bats/etc. Whatever she could find I was getting beaten with. I couldn't ever escape to my room for long because she would always call me every few minutes to get her things or to yell at me. She never drank or did drugs or anything. Whenever she was upset and I happened to be in front of her she'd kick me down the stairs to make me hurry up. She's put a knife to my neck before and had to be forcibly stopped by her bf of the time. Burned my christmas presents from other people (she didnt get me anything that year) and just other really shitty things. The only thing I will say, she tried really hard to make up for it with video games and electronics and etc. It didn't make a difference to me though, it never helped.

She controlled most aspects of my life. I got by with little petty revenges. Peeing in the lipton iced tea she drank. Rubbing her forks and spoons between ny buttcheeks before i served her dinner. Ignoring her screams for help when she had kidney stones (how tf am i supposed to help anyways??) But by the time i got to highschool I turned to alcohol. I resented her and the negative atmosphere affected who I was as a person. I started to be cold and uncaring. Calculated. She started kicking me out every few months telling me to find somewhere else to live by age 15. She sent me away to a different country for a year and tried to keep my passport but I made it back to the US with the help of the embassy and my step father (she'd already left by that time and found some other dude). I came back senior year with no credits for the prior grade which ended with me getting a GED. I spent most of the time i could with my best friend and started working shitty jobs. I was terrible at saving as i had accumulated loads of shitty habits while growing up so it didnt make much difference. She eventually told me that If i went to college, I would ALWAYS have a place to live until I finished. Cue my first 2 semesters at a 2 year college, I maintained a 3.7ish gpa. My teachers loved me and it was my escape. Towards the end of my 2nd semester during finals, i came home late one night around 10pm and my mother yanks the door open screaming in my face asking when I'll move out. I'm slightly drunk and decide to completely ignore her and walk to my room. If I opened my mouth, that day would be the day I blew up and cursed her out. I've rarely ever raised my voice at her because it never ended well. Now at this point im 19 and I've been doing school full time with no savings. Im also fairly fit and could easily take my mom at this point (Never laid a hand on her or any woman, i hate violence). I get to my room, she rips my door open, and starts yelling. I say nothing and stare at her. She walks away and called the police on me saying she thought id murder her and my younger siblings. I don't know where the fuck she got that idea from as she's the one who's nearly killed me many times.

I packed everything into a duffle bag and left 5 minutes afterwards. I failed all of my finals because I couldnt make it to my school. Things kinda spiraled and the next 2-3 years were me on and off homeless. I survived the best I could in a big city with no college degree and made alot of shitty choices due to my shitty habits. Eventually i found a profitable hobby that gave me meaning and through that i started to work my way up. Got my own apartment, had a full time job, and did my hobby on the side. I hadn't kept up contact with my mother at all but my younger sister who was old enough to have a phone found me on social media so i saw photos and such, she didn't have it anywhere near as bad but she did get beaten occasionally. My mother reached out via email all smiles asking how I've been. Now guys, ive always been envious of the relationship most ppl have with their moms so I gave her a chance and gave her a call. We talked for a few minutes and everything was civil and seemed like things would go okay but then...

She asked me what I've been up to the last few years and I told her honestly, that I was homeless for a while and struggled alot after what she did to me but I worked my way out of it. SHE LITERALLY LAUGHS. She laughed for a few seconds in a very condescending kinda chuckle and then said "I never did a thing to you so you don't know what abuse is! its your own damn fault you were homeless. So how about yo-" but by that point I hung up. I was speechless and fuming. I don't know what abuse is? OKAY BITCH. IVE SPENT TOO FUCKING LONG LETTING YOU DESTROY MY SANITY. NOW IS THE TIME.

There was a few things my mother didn't know. One, I knew for a fact that current well paying job she had was gotten on lies as she never got her college degree and lied about it on her resume. Two, I had access to all of her email accounts and cloud storage accounts since I was the one that set them up when I was younger and she never changes her passwords. Lastly, she DEFINITELY wasn't aware that from 13yrs old and onto the last time she hit me I took photos of ALL my bruises/marks/wounds/bloody noses saving them to my computer and then google drive. ON TOP OF THAT, my little sister had been sending me photos via social media of the bruises she got from my mom.

The first thing I did was compile ALL of those photos/videos into one folder. I then reached out to CPS in my city and explained that my siblings were being abused, how I was abused in the past, and that I had mountains of proof. Since ive called the cops on my mother before AND the thing that happened with my older sister, there was immediately a home visit. They arrived almost a day later with the police and coincidentally my mother was literally in the process of beating my younger sister when they were knocking. Cue an Emergency removal of all my siblings from the house and my mother getting arrested though she was released hours later. (I was getting a day to day play by play because my mothers best friend is a blabber mouth and everything my mother said she told her son who relayed it to me without either of their knowledge.) I sent CPS all the evidence and there's a legit case against my mother now. The next day I emailed and then called up her job to inform them that she had lied about having a very necessary college degree as well current events in her life which sparked a background check. She was fired days later. Say adios to 75k and a blacklist in the only industry you know how to work. I then spitefully deleted every cloud account and email address I ever made for her, which was all of them which im sure will make keeping up with alot bills and etc nearly impossible. I then anonymously reported her to the IRS because of the tax fraud she committed for years by claiming people's children that weren't hers with ALOT of detailed information since I lived with her while she did it.

So now, my mother lost all her kids and her job. Im meeting with a caseworker from CPS next week to talk more about what happens moving forward but I do know they're NOT going back. Idk how she's gonna pay her mortgage now and survive. I'm sure she's gonna get a call from the IRS who'll be looking for a few thousand dollars she owes them. She also has to go back to court in a few months, not exactly sure what she was charged with but ill update when I find out how everything turns out.

Side Note: She isn't aware im the cause of any of this. I plan on keeping tabs on her and waiting until it seems like she's close to death before I tell her it was all me and I peed in her lipton.

TL;DR - My mother abuses me badly for most of my life as well as my younger siblings. I have to drop out of college and support myself after she drove me to homelessness. She proceeds to laugh at me about me being homeless and denys abuse. So I ruined her life by getting my younger siblings removed and her arrested, making her lose her job, reported her to the IRS, and essentially set her up so that the remainder of her life is full of disaster and hardships.

(source) (story by howbout_that_lipton)

[neon-sparrows]

Random thought I had that I figured would be a good request but what if Tim had caught hoodie breaking into his house at some point? I'm going off the assumption that hoodie had done so at least a few times considering he seemed to know where things were and stuff. Idk

so this is... absolutely not what you were after, i feel like,it’s just under 2k words long so it’s under a cut, for one, and i’ll be fucked if i know at what point in time this takes place, but!hoody breaks into tim’s house to steal his meds and finds him still there, more under cutsend me your requests! | my ko-fi

He's sitting on the floor of his kitchen, clutching at the broken pieces of what had been one of his remaining decent glasses.

To be honest, Tim's not sure why he broke it in the first place. He didn't mean to. He'd been doing his dishes. Something had startled him, a loud banging sound from somewhere in his house-- in his head-- and he'd dropped it. He'd stared down at the broken glass, figuring he should probably go on and pick it up, get a dustpan, and then--

then--

He doesn't know. Something shifted, like usual. Or cracked. Or sparked. Something rings in his ears and he's sitting on the floor in front of the sink, listening to water rushing down the drain and feeling like he should get up and clean up the mess and turn the faucet off but the floor seems rather inviting in this instant and he doesn't have it in him to move.

Shards of glass dig into his palms and he knows he's bleeding, because it stings, but it's not enough for him to find the will to move.

The noise was imagined. Some conjuration of his head, like usual. Something exploding out from the center of his skull and as he entertains that thought he pictures grey matter on the walls, smirks lightly as he picks diamond-glass-shards out of his palms with delicate fingers. He's beginning to think he slipped or something. Fell. Hands first. Or had he stupidly thought to try and pick up the pieces barehanded instead of getting his broom and his dustpan?

He wouldn't be surprised. Lapses in judgement and all that. He's not the sort of man to be a font of good ideas.

A few shattered pieces are dropped to the side as he picks them out of his hands, thinking that instead of the dustpan at this point he might need some tweezers--

a gentle thud on the other end of the house.

Tim's eyes slide to the hallway.

That one wasn't made up. That was physical. That was the sound of one of his windows shutting, gently enough to be easily missed but harshly enough to make a sound and the pain in his palms comes quicker than the thought that he should take his best knife back out of the dishwasher.

He also thinks he should probably care more about the fact someone else has just entered his house through his window.

He can't bring himself to, though. He picks another piece of glass out of the heel of his palm and wipes the blood away with his opposite thumb. He doesn't own anything valuable. The most expensive thing he's got is a guitar, and that was a gift, something hovering in the realm of $500 that he'd mostly just wanted to pay back.

Today's been an off day. He hasn't been seeing it, and yet he's felt entirely off-center since he woke up this morning. Lopsided, almost, like his brain was squished up against one side of his head and was risking oozing right out his ear. He supposes that's why he broke his glass. He's been hearing things all day, flickers of static and crackling flame in his ears and the occasional burst of shadow in front of his eyes. He ate breakfast. Went to work. Came home. Made dinner. Started his dishes.

He hears the sound of something rattling against one of the doors down the hallway and hopes the intruder won't go through his drawers for whatever embarrassing shit he's forgotten about lately.

Tim lazily entertains the idea of just going to his hallway closet to get his broom and dustpan anyway. Maybe he'd bump into them. Hope they weren't armed. Have a nice chat with a home invader while he bled all over the one broom he'd ever purchased for himself.

Another sound of rattling, closer. Bathroom door, maybe? Did he clean up? Did he shower this morning? He can't remember.

Lethargy's a bad way to react to this. His heart should be pounding in his ears. He should be opening the dishwasher and getting his hands on his sharpest knife, or seeing if he can find something heavier before whoever it is corners him, because there's not really a way out of his kitchen when somebody's standing in the way of it. Or call the police. His phone's on the counter. He'd been listening to music.

The water in the sink is still running. Is it plugged? Is it going to overflow?

Footsteps coming nearer. He pictures rattling lungs and heavy breathing, maybe something heavy, maybe something sharp, maybe something gunpowder-powered and terrifying.

He should be scared, he thinks, but instead he just feels tired.

A few more pieces of glass are dropped down into the reddish-crystal-silvery-glass pile by his left thigh and he examines his hands. The cuts are numerous, but not deep. They'll heal fine when he cleans them up. The glass is a loss, but he doesn't need a nice glass anyway, and he can always buy more.

The bathroom door shuts and he glances in the direction of the darkened hallway to see a silhouette moving through it.

"Oh," Tim says.

In the dim light of his mostly empty house, he's faced with a figure taller than him (and yet not obscenely, which is what he was expecting) who is slightly hunched over, the rattling wheeze of their breath the exact sound that he'd been busy wondering about. They're clad in a ratty looking beige hoodie, black gloved hands pressed against their side and their face covered in a hood, a perpetual frown in bleached out red staring down at him.

Fear's the right response. To scream. Snarl. Threaten. Fight. But he doesn't. He remains where he is, still, bloody palms upturned, looking into those unscrupulous red eyes and wondering what's going to happen next.

"You broke into my house." He says, dumbly.

"You're not awake." It's a raspy tone of voice that sounds somewhere between irritation and an order. The sound of their voice is-- wrong, somehow, a lingering sensation of discomfort in his ears and the sensation of fingertips down the length of his spine--

"I am awake." He protests.

"You're not." The other replies. Tim thinks their voice sounds masculine. He can't tell. "Your eyes aren't open."

"They are." He mutters in reply, and the two of them remain where they are. "You broke into my house."

In the lapse of silence there is nothing but the faucet and what Tim halfway guesses is his heartbeat, under the rasping, phlegmy wheeze of the stranger's breath.

"What did you do to yourself?" The rasp comes again, and Tim pictures lips pulled back into a snarl in a face both familiar and not, an expression of displeasure or contempt or-- something that he has no name for, because his head feels foggy and his hands are throbbing a little bit.

"I dropped a glass. Was trying to clean it up. Got sidetracked, I guess."

"By shoving your hands into it?"

It feels familiar, sort of. Like it should feel familiar but it doesn't, like looking at a scene through a broken mirror and having something reflected back in the wrong order, cards shuffled and dropped to remain where they are, the broken glass crunching under his boot and digging into his palms to make them bleed.

"You broke into my house."

The hooded thing says nothing to him in reply, and Tim can't see the other's face, so he doesn't know what the expression is. In his mind's eye he can picture what is a face and what is not, the empty red-bleach eyes staring down at him shielding features of a face that he swears he knows, or something in him does, and there's a tension in his chest that he has no name for.

He's expecting something else. Some sort of conflict. If the stranger's so certain he's asleep, he should probably be expecting a blow to the skull, or having something shoved down his throat, and waking up-- what, in a tub of ice, missing his kidneys? Probably not. If they wished ill on him they would've done it by now, he thinks. Murderers didn't usually stop for a chat, did they?

"You're a mess." The stranger says, and Tim wonders if that's an insult.

"Yeah." There isn't much to do but agree.

The figure moves past him and Tim looks up towards them, his palms still upturned, resting on his thighs as the rattling wheeze continues through their lungs. His cabinets are opened. Dishes. Food. Cleaning supplies. Junk drawer--

He hears fabric-clad fingers closing around a half empty pill bottle tucked into the drawer and realizes in the lethargic fog of his brain that that must have been what they were after in the first place.

The hooded man steps over him, past him, boots crunching on the glass Tim had left beside him. The pill bottle in one hand, and the stranger turns the faucet off, lingering there and not looking down at Tim.

They turn, after a moment, and Tim reaches for their pant leg on reflex. Blood smears across the denim and the hooded man stops where he is. His grip on the pill bottle tightens, the contents rattling somewhat.

"I know you." Tim says, numbly.

"You do not." The hooded figure replies.

"I know you." He repeats himself, looking up at him, and the immutable frown stares back at him. He's picturing a face, sort of, picturing features that have been smeared out, like someone made a mess of an old photo. He can't pick out the right pieces. Can't remember it right.

His vision blurs slightly to match.

"You are asleep." The stranger says, their voice lower, harsher and raspier as they speak softer. Tim wonders if it was intended to be comforting. "Or you will be asleep soon."

"Are you going to kill me?"

"No."

"Great."

His vision blurs and he feels a tension gathering at the base of his skull. He doesn't release his grip on them. He tightens it, in fact, and tries to put the pieces in order. Wipe away the smears until the picture in his head straightens itself out and he'll know, because he does know, knows something in the pit of his stomach and the center of his skull and oh, that ringing in his ears is a few pitches too loud, and remarkably uncomfortable.

He doesn't know what he expects. Trouble, probably. Danger. A threat. To be kicked, mostly, with the way he's clinging to their leg the way a child does, because they've just broken into his house to steal his medicine and he knows his prescription's being refilled in a couple days anyway, but do they know that?

"I know you," he says, but he doesn't think he does. Must just be one of those faces, incomprehensible and unknowable and everywhere and something in his chest stings.

"You can pretend." The reply is neither hostile or apathetic. It simply is. The gathering pressure at the nape of Tim's neck lingers further and he recognizes it as a precursor, a risk, the inevitable warning of an oncoming seizure and the stranger has taken his medicine.

He doesn't loosen his grip as he stares up at them, and those eyes stare back down. His fingers and toes feel numb. He probably should've cleaned up the glass better. He feels fuzzy, and feels a sudden jerk in one of his arms.

Tim exhales, slowly, and tilts his head back against the cabinet, mouth open and eyes shut.

"I'm pretty good at that." He murmurs. "Pretending, I mean."

"I know." The denim is no longer in his grip. The stranger has moved away, out of his reach. "Good night."

Tim does not answer.

[self-loathing-angel-of-thursday2]

Beautiful Spouse’s Rewatch Thoughts SPN 03x15 

Time is On My Side

“Well your buddy drove off - safety in numbers man” “You’re going to get pushed into your own trunk, and the first thing you’re going to say is Hey? And not fuck you or punching?” “Where is the blood coming from?” “Did his guts fall out? Is that the idea?” Laughing at the Holy Water contract

“I can’t remember who holds the contract. Don’t tell me but is it Crowley?” “Am I supposed to know yet?” Poor Dean. He didn’t think about all the demons waiting for him

“What a dick? Of course he’s sure that they ran the prints twice” “Fingerprints aren’t perfect. We all know that” “Maybe don’t remind Dean he has 3 weeks left?” It was for narrative effect “I know but still”

“Just look at my fake ids.” I used to be terrified that people were going to steal my organs and I’d wake up in a bathtub of ice. Thanks mom

“Oh yeah they’re still using dad’s journal. They use it a lot” “They should make a digital copy of dad’s journal for them to use easier” “🎶gonna get my kidney fucked🎶

“Heart rate is a little high for sitting down there bud” “What’s funny is that neither of those numbers are either high or low. Oh, there it’s going. Are we going to see 20?” “sure” “what a fkn nerd” “Does he want that for payment?” “Dean works pretty efficiently solo so why not” “They’re already 2/3 of the way through a $200 bottle of whiskey” “Dean fkn laughs at his own jokes” “I guess I laugh at my own jokes, and you laugh at your own jokes” “Needs more sustained pedal in the music” “I love how Sam looks like he’s shoplifting a book but is just in a shit house” “don’t hit your head”

“Just a fresh corpse. No big deal” “Of course he’s going to check the pulse but i’m sure someone is going to reanimate it. But idk what happening” “is he a combination of Frankenstein and Frankenstein’s monster?” “man not maggots in the car. Come on. I’d save the girl but still.” “so he’s not a spirit? He didn’t blink out.” “sure” “do they get their angry sex now?” “She’s obviously got more than one gun. Or a knife” “Nobody else is going to hear a gunshot in the hotel” “What’s on top of the door?” “angry sex party? Come on” “She’s always trouble dude. He should have killed her” “yeah of course” “it was just a little inconvenient” “does chloroform work that way?” We googled it. It kinda works.

“Inside a fridge. It has a latch already. Does he need the chains? I guess it’s for dramatic effect” “what is she up to?” “oh it’s her fancy pea shooter” “oh yeah I forgot that she had a demon deal” “oh yeah. It’s Lilith” “why the jumpscare? That’s bullshit”

[vernons-laugh-is-my-aesthet-blog]

Memeteen guide to Seventeen

S.coups: 

carats make fun of his stage name holding a couple s.coups of icecream and a S.cup of noodles 

chicc

the poor man between jeongjicheol

papa coups 

embarrasing dad

wings it at choreo sometimes

has 12 children 

wants to c h o k e jeonghan

the type of dad that would challenge his 5 yr old child to a game of soccer and then gets too competitive and swerves that bitch to get goals

 his smile and his smile alone gave one of Seventeen's stages a crap ton of views

say the name!

camel

piggy bank

beagle leader

“eyes look like 9:15″

eyelashes for ddaayyyysss

Everybody SCREAMM

fireworks are the only enemy

My EGG YOLK T-T

members rebel against him at times

someone save him

Jeonghan:

John-Oops I mean Jeonghan

Laying down is his preferred physical state

swindler

long hair majestic unicorn and short hair majestic prince. He majestic no matter what fam

"Joshua was the first one to approach me"

 toucher of asses 

shamelessly feeds off of members' love 24/7

Makes members have couple wallpaper and phone cases with him 

 "angel"

the mother of Seventeen

“Dino, nugu aegi?”

All members are under his spell

giraffe running

Jeonghan's warm cup of milk

sa-sa-say the name seventeen 

Doubts OFD pds

bitter smile of betrayal 

vernon crushed his balls once

athletic with no stamina

creator of the Carat mating call: *incoherent screaming*

Joshua:

Gentleman

fukn weeaboo

the b e s t freestyle rapper in Seventeen. Dont @ me

ded meme(?) "Jisoos Christ"

The 'normal one'-SIKE bitch

That poor waterbottle

When-one-of-the-members-wear-a-shirt-with-questionable-english-words-everyone-blames-me-lol  guy

I pledge allegence to the flag of the united states of amerca and to the re-

dRinK WaTeR

pin drop and worm master +uncle dance

pingpong vlive 

“EAT THIS” signature move

"over here"

The english teacher everyone wants and deserves 

white cap

Chicken can heal the heart

L.A motherfuckerss

piggy bank

"Ïm part of vocal unit too! T-T"

Jun

Heechul's reincarnated body that was too early bc he aint ded lol

chinaline

child actor 

nyeac nyeac 

logos are out to get him 

eyeroll king 

punny and awkward

king of china

404 lines not found

My I now

"Ice ice froze." (that crazy in love Wonwoo lyric) moments

sexy expression

convinced he is the number one visual 

shy vlives

proceeds to tell members to call him handsome in chinese

ofd positivity boy

Hoshi: 

naega hosh + pose

 What time is it? 10:10 bitches

‘ten hour ten minute’

 shinee’s biggest fanboy

 from soft 1 to hipthurst 100  real quick.

HAM HAM. HAMHAMHAMHAM

My name’s soonyoung call me soon

hamster cheeks

suffers with spicy food

beurora hurricane

Coco his chicken 

his love for the angsty teen makne 

"HEy MIDDLE" 

glitter face

pretty u first win cry face

Mounteen

kwon fire

 making dances out of things that inspire him; ex: crab, octopus, noodles, street lamp, backpack

kwon edward soonyoung 

refuses to be bottom visual 

rivalry with seungkwan and wonwoo 

claps like a child

KWON SOONYOUNG FIGHTING *wakes up* 'YYEEEEAAAHHH"

Grandma

Wonwoo:

lowkey highkey loves his own visuals 

beanie bro 

garden fairy 

voice so deep adele's rollin in it 

"life is hamburger"

cheese burger aegyo 

emo 

let him sing fam

fukn nerddd 

sick wonwoo days with the plushy

Tsundere™

make him an actor pls 

got hit in the balls with a ball one time 

nose crinkle 

specs 

lack of highfives

middle school’s dance machine

him vs. Hoshi in ofd japan

bag of luck

Woozi:

Smol bean that would kill for a single cornchip 

Reminds me of a old grandpa teddy bear idk lol 

Done with life, hates aegyo and human contact, but will accept it when he wants to

members mock his crying from pretty u first win every chance they get 

if he does anything out of character they tease him about it till no end tbh

Suga's son

his need to grab and hit people when he laughs

guitar is his greatest weapon

ccrriinnggeee & finger ccurrlll

producer-nim

 adore u is a funky pop song that has fun and fresh lyrics that match seventeen's age on top of an addictive melody 

members exposing his ass in project svt

Dk:

the actual sun

 built in speakers bc he loud as shit 

sacrifices his beautiful face to make people laugh

 smile that can cure all the worlds sickness

 stop eating cds

woojoos_daddy

‘come to daddy’ tee

horsemin MAL

pigeon

GRILLED PPPORRKK

 chicc

 pure and goes along with jokes the best 

heLL0 mY naMe Is LeE SeOkMIN my moTheR’S naMe Is

hightone rap

wat is basketball? 

do it from your heart 

Jeonghan's fool 

mosquito 

Happy birfthday broo

orange peel king

wow, unbeliebable  

Grandpa

Two-teen

Mingyu:

MingEW and all his sneezin

flowercap boi 

tol and clumsy

If Seventeen doesnt drop somethign, Mingyu certainly will 

actually very organized and neat 

Minghousewife 

was a cheeto for a split second

proud father of OG BongBong 

Mingyu sunbaenimmm

Seventeen cant live without their swiss army knife 

Akita sound

oh. my. god. Oho My GOD

‘Your name is bob’

Where Is Your Tag???

squeals 

"Seventeens official visual" 

oooo000OOO yEAh 

The8: 

got7 bambam taught him how to dab and he never looked back since

 thughao

IMMA

before: Yeah I'll have her home before 10 ^-^ 

          now: she'll spend a night at my house ;)

nunchuuk daddy

404 no lines found pt.2

now My I

his predebut pictures are  e p i c

side-eye king

arms for days

fashionista

rolled thin porkbelly hair

learns more korean to roast bitches

flipping is his preferred transportation 

dirty dirty jamjam ^-^ *svt flipps out in cringe* 

Kermit is his bitch

Seungkwan: 

fresh baked buns bebe

divaboo

 just put boo in any word and it gets 100 times better

supports AND hates aegyo

Beyonce who?

MCboo, talk talk talk. 

"Thomas the train" omg rip XD 

Vernon's number 1 fan

OHMYGOD JASMIN

cries in jeju accent

John?

Boonon, svts rapper 

Oh Laaaddiieesss~~ this is your story 

red 

haunted house screaming 

volleyball fanatic

 kimbap kidding? 

Crab walks away 

Son of Jeju 

fashTion 

'13th visual' (fuk nah)

Im the BEST quality 

Vernon:

child actor but never fukn talks about it

attempts vocal runs

looks confused most of the time  

iconic rap lines "pull up on you wacks with a mac fuly loaded", “i'm only seventeen i only got a few dollars” "Chili Chicken in the microwave"

fortune cookie hair 

headlines headlines ( HaJiMAaaaAa, dont mention smtm4)

his obsession with hotline bling

"speaks english, but forgets that one english word" (bilingual problems)

Person: h- 

          Vernon: I was born in america but moved to korea when I was five 

Kidney function is not a right its a privilege

woke af

His mom is my bias

teeth

bubble pop

*slightly lifts glasses* 'ding' 

sofia

Leonardo Dicaprio AND Leonardo Divinci

Dont take him fishing

stitch

Dat laugh tho

lotto

My favorite part of Seungkwan is-

Dino:

Michael Chanson

"Im growing!"

not Jeonghan's aegi

we will now forget mansae era duck ass hair

Diamond makne

“he’s going through puberty now”-Hoshi

a new born savage

Makne’s visual ranking

GloUp of the century

"michael jackson version" 

bitter smile 

loud laugh 

*runs over hoshi's toes with scooter* 

*scrolls through phone and half-heartedly says*  I love you.

[senzacaponecoda]

pAA?

(Decided to reduce the names to E, O and S because this isn’t something that should be treated seriously or like there’s anything in particular respectable or responsible about it, but might be helpful to someone like me trying to find something out for personal reasons.) So since I finally got my hands on a copy of O and S’s reconstruction of PAA, I thought I’d go through and pick out what I thought were their best etymons against what I think are E’s best etymons. As I’ve said before both reconstructions seem to be basically mass comparison reconstructions.

The wiki page on Afroasiatic claims they agree on basically nothing, and out of 1000ish and 2600ish I still got less than 100 shared roots, so that’s probably accurate. The page and what I pulled out didn’t exactly line up though, but also there were some roots especially on E’s end (due to a need to reconstruct verbs to nominalize for his PS theories) that I outright changed the meaning of because they actually made his individual arguments stronger; like, say, if you had 4 roots that mean knife in each sub-branch, why assume the etymon means cut?

I compared the roots in case there was something that was an obvious oversight, and while I don’t think their methods were all that good (although O and S’s are a lot better), I didn’t want to discount everything in case there was something like “well their vowel systems are different so I’m not counting roots where even V[os] = V[e]” or like “O/S posit (g,x) < *q while E has (g,x) < *ÿ” being overlooked and miraculously they agreed on like 300 more roots than the page gives them credit. There’s also issues like, well, “Is this particular author doing such a bad job but the critics aren’t seeing that, that he/she/they are dragging the other author/s down by undermining their ok etymons?” etc.

So, like, I’ve messed with the data in a way that’s irrepairable and shit. Mind that. This isn’t scholarly work and isn’t intended to be. And I messed with some of the data - even if I think it’s more representative of their works at a level, from any kind of responsible position I need to make it absolutely clear that it’s not really reflective of their work, but a reflection of my amateur, shitty thoughts on their concordances.

So, for the curious:

So when putting this list together I accidentally kept mixing which side I wrote whose roots together. E tends to have labiovelars where OS have o, E has long vowels, OS don’t, E has tones, OS don’t, E has the voiced velar fricative I transcribed as ÿ and ŋ, OS have q and q’ vs k’ and k. E has p’, the rest I guess you’ll have to guess.

I also marked a few words with * for what might be imitative or baby speak words. *? like on horn is “I’m on the fence of it being imitative”

Vowels are pretty much ignored, but otherwise definite correlates:

kol-f bark (n) dam blood k'os~k'as bone naf breath ben~bin build di3, da3, du3 call dumn~deman cloud k'at' cut* 2ab father* pir fly*? ba2 go sim hear lib heart k'ar horn*? inkwal~2ankol kidney 2er~2âr know lVk'~lak lick* tir liver sum,sim~süm,sim name wan open bu~baw place dak,duk~dik pound k'u2 rise tuf spin ra3-raa3 sun dab,dib-dub tail les,lis tongue ma2 water

Close matches, differing by not a lot of phonological space, but the correlations seem unsystematic or quasi-systematic (E *k = OS *x? or the other way). A lot of this might be due to obfuscation of the subgroups; it’s known beyond these reconstructions that Semitic b, p, f correspond to Egyptian b, p, f but there doesn’t seem to be a pattern to the correspondences beyond [+labial][-nasal]=[+labial][-nasal]... except some roots where b = m, mostly Egyptian to Semitic (iirc it’s believed that snb = slm).

! maaw~mawut die ! har~heraw day ! t(l)'ok' beat ! bak~bax burn ! k'al~k'ar burn ! (t)san brother ! kor~kw'al angry #related to kidney? ! pak~pax break apart* ! yar~3er burn #n.b. OS *e = E *ya pretty consistently ! ka2(up) cover ! t'ub~duf drip* ! g'arub~ÿar(b) dusk ! 2et~iit eat*? ! gur~guud enclose ! 2ir~2il eye #2il is also given for both by the wiki author ! 2aakw~2ax fire ! ŋiiwr~gir flames ! pur~fir flower 1 k'ur~kâr go around ! ĉa3ar~ła2r hair ! qafV3~gâf hold ! qam~kam hold ! fil~bul hole ! ĉa(2i)d~gwi/ad land ! ne2ul~ñaw moist ! bakr~bar morning ! âf~2ap mouth* ! ĉer~sar,sir root ! cab~sVp sew ! sur~tsur sing ! tsoon~soon smell ! bak'~p'ak' split* ! da2~daw walk

Really kind of stretched correspondences, usually requiring twice the amount of special pleading as above:

!! rip~2erib sew !! dabn~zab hair !! yawr~yabil bull !! büł~fil skin !! 3ir~raw sky

A root that’s probably wrong but I didn’t delete it:

!!! c'eyg~c'a3ek shout

Roots on the wiki article it says are part of “the fragile consensus” but either escaped my standards for good etymologies from E and OS or were lost when I changed E or OS’s proposed definitions to fit the data they presented for etymologization:

>> (2a)bVr bull >> (2a)dVm land >> 2igar~kw'ar enclosure >> 3ayn eye #I think for both this was only found in Sem and Egn, which is proto-Sem-Egn, not PAA >> bar son >> gamm mane, beard >> gVn cheek, chin >> gwar3~(gora3?) throat #These words weren’t in E’s but look like it and I guessed on what the OS reconstruction would look like >> gwina3~(gona3?) hand >> kVn cowife >> kwaly??? kidney #that this isn’t VnkwVl damns something >> k'awal, qwar say, call >> sin tooth >> siwan know >> zwr seed >> łVr root >> šun sleep, dream

These I sort of gathered based on a decent scholarly Egyptologist’s work

** (n)i,ku,nak(u) 1sc ** nVn 1pc ** kumV, kV 2sm ** kimV, ki 2sf ** suwa, sV 3sm ** si(y/t)a, si 3sf **-ú~-aw nom (earlier an ergative) **-á abs **Egyptian had an outright ergative participle so like yeah Some AA assumptions $$ m- participle, possible 3 or 4 denoting instruments, resultatives, passive and active meanings, and more. $$ s- causative (likely su-) $$ -í nisba = adjectivizer $$ -át/-út ending for abstract, mass, diminutive, augmentative, female nouns $$ top two combine frequently $$ maybe k became a masculine? maybe u/w too? $$ perhaps an -n- passive? -t- passive? reciprocal voice? (kick each other) $$ emphatic coronal series $$ prefixing conjugation {2 t t y t n t t y t} on imperfect-type stems $$ core verb stems seem to be perfect vs imperfect $$ a lot of sources report *-r has spreading out semantics at the end of a Semitic verb and I believe it. $$ suffixing possessive pronouns $$ probably all of pAA derives its verb system from those same possessive pronouns suffixed to participles, which probably helped the ergative to nominative alignment change. Again, Egn had an ergative participle at one point. It actually used a slightly different form of the possessed agreement system for that though, maybe reflective of a dead case system. $$ personally I think egn broke off early, sem and amz were geographically between it and ethiopia, the cushitic languages broke early but stayed in contact, chadic is cladistically cushitic that broke off in the middle of the ethiopianization of cushitic in the post-islamic era, since it seems to be in cultural memory. beja wasn’t as ethiopianized and is slightly closer to semitic, amz, and in many ways egn surprisingly, omotic was probably adopted into the family, ongota is too creolized to know anything, tones, vowel rebalancing, probably influences of Central/Eastern Sudanic. I have no idea why languages with ATR (i.e. pharyngealization) distinctions would make pharyngealized languages switch to ejectives, so if sem-amz is a thing you just have to postulate why they switched, since egyptian is no help. for all i know egyptian always had an aspiration distinction (which would explain some insane correlations) and then they fell together and split again for coptic.  Don’t think this can be projected to the proto-lang: $$ ablauting everywhere, in nouns and verbs. masdars and singular nouns probably reflect original vowel patterns. !! E and OS reconstruct consonant systems similar to PS and idk about that. Both give 5 vowel core systems but for different reasons and different results. E has length and the central short vowels fall together in all but Omo. Some shenanigans happen to get Cu uu, ii, aa, ə, and ä. Ch ends up with a i u ə, and the other three a i u. OS has e yield ya and o yield wa, ü for u~i results, and does overall less movement.

These are numbers from my number project:

## tsin~tsar two ## kwrad three ## fVd'w four ## magw ten

It’s interesting that many of these shared roots are in fact Swadesh roots and that that mostly happened on accident. E reconsructed 1000 roots, OS 2600, and just using judgements like “a root needs to mean the same thing in two (standard I held E to) or three (standard I used for OS) subbranches” to sift through them brought me down to these. But like most of these roots are fundamentally two segments long. There were even ~false matches in some of them with the phonaesthetic shape of their English glosses - horn would go back to something like *karn in PIE, which looks like the root here. Maybe horns make a kar sound, but with 2iit~2et, idk, I don’t think of eating as making an “eat-eat” sound; I actually threw away a number of roots that had a “kwa-l-kwa-l” (whence Ar. 2akulu) sound which at least kind of sounds like swallowing.

[hangreenleaf-blog]

12/12

potential trigger warnings: self harm, suicide. i put those past the ‘read more.’

also, this is a really fucked up dream. i promise i’m relatively sane irl.

I was at a gala, severely underdressed in an ancient, enormous wooden house. One thing I quickly noticed was that time only progressed when I physically moved (much like in the game Super Hot.) The hostess of the gala (I think the hostess was Bayonetta lol) gave me a quest to tag all 84 people at the gala with a green slip of paper within 20 real world seconds (not 20 seconds by my standard.) I accomplished this. Some people I tagged included Hillary Clinton, Junior the Asparagus, and Elizabeth from Bioshock Infinite. In the process, I also had to tag Steven from Steven Universe. When I did this, his gem flew off and reattached itself onto the back of a cat that happened to be right next to him. This cat became really aggravated and found a way to jump through my time manipulating skill and lunged at me with the intent to kill, causing a tear in the physical world. Everyone in our current timeline got sucked through this tear and into the next dimension, which was 20 seconds behind our dimension. The impact of our entry to this dimension caused this new dimension to tear as well. This dimension ripping kept happening, adding an exponential amount of people and it was quite the dizzying experience. We kept falling through tears in concrete, or rocky canyon walls, or wooden walls, or bodies of water. Each dimension still featured a gala with hundreds of people, but incarnated in different timelines. There was an ancient Egyptian gala. There was an ancient Roman gala. There was a medieval gala. Etc..

After falling through the final dimension, we were in a moderately deep part of the ocean that contained the ruined site of our wooden gala. The water was notably contaminated with nuclear waste. Everyone who came along the tear journey resumed their business, seemingly unfazed about what happened. The clones that we picked up merged with each other to form a single being for this dimension. These clones phased through walls if they were in the way. The watery environment of this dimension caused every movement to become slow, but weightless.

I went to go search for my brother. He was standing on an extremely thin edge of a chasm that reminded me of that one scene toward the end of Hercules where he had to reach for Megara in that swirly green thing, while rapidly aging. I asked him what he was doing. One of my cousins also appeared, and I turned to ask him what he was doing as well. By the time I turned back to face my brother, he had jumped into the chasm. I was extremely distraught by this. I could see his darkened form dissipating in the extra murky water. It was made very clear that jumping into this chasm was suicide. My cousin turned to me with already dead eyes, saying that this dimensional tearing caused every being to lose part of themselves each time they encountered themselves from another timeline. He was ready to commit suicide too, but couldn’t bring himself to jump. He asked me to give him a mercy kill. It was evident that he already started the job. He had a essentially amputated two of his limbs, and a tar-like substance was oozing out of the gaping wounds.

He handed me a spear. I stabbed him on the back, through his translucent skin. I stabbed his left kidney, his small intestines three times, his descending aorta, his heart, both of his lungs, and finally his brain. It was somehow a relief for both of us to hear the air leave his lungs (despite the fact that we were underwater? idk i don’t understand either..) and his face become peaceful. I gave him a light nudge to help his body float toward the chasm. I immediately began sobbing.

I ran to find my mother. When I found her, she was cycling between being 20 years old, 40 years old with intense arthritis, 90 years old, and a corpse with a knife in her ribcage that I knew she put there herself. I told her that some of our family has already passed, and asked if she wanted the same. She nodded. I picked her up and carried her to the chasm. I jumped in while still holding onto her.

We eventually reached the bottom. The chasm wasn’t all that bad, other than the fact that all my senses were going in and out. Somehow, we were still able to maintain contact with each other through FB. I started going through my brother’s profile and discovered that he had started an obsession with art that featured rabid beasts baring smiling, bloodied teeth. I messaged him about this. My mom also expressed her distaste for this development. He responded that he was following the experiments of previous scientists. The scientists were attempting to genetically modify typically intimidating animals to make them cute, and accidentally made them creepily smile instead. They were so fascinated by their results, that they allowed them to develop as full adults, then killed them, and taxidermied them. I was so severely disturbed by this that I started overheating, and I dried up the entire ocean. Then I was all by myself in this dry waste land that was scattered with decomposed bits. I didn’t like this in the slightest, and decided to try a final time trick. If I sacrificed myself to time, none of this would have happened. So I paused myself midair, and watched the world spin around me, until a rock wall came around and slowly crushed me out of existence. That’s it.

You better believe I woke up in daze. :)

[geftheshittalkingmongoose]

22. Lest we forget that he vehemently blames Susan for somehow turning Carol gay. He is nothing but snide and cruel towards Susan, and yet is still sweet and gentle with Carol 🤔

23. At every turn, for years, he refused to believe that the Geller parents were fucking with Monica as much as they were. She was his sister, the one he's so close to that he lives across the street from her and sees her almost daily, but refuses to admit that their parents legit damage her because then that means that he'd have to admit he is the favorite and didn't earn their favoritism.

24. I personally don't think I have the time to list off every reason why his derision of Phoebe is so fucked up. I'll just point out that he has zero respect for her lifestyle, beliefs, career choices, and general life choices because they are drastically different from his.

25. Even though he is so shitty toward Phoebe, there's an episode dedicated to how he'd still fuck her and how he wanted her as a "back up" to marry in case they weren't married once they were 40.

26. He never really actually respects Joey for more than an episode or two. The only things he (consistently) bases his cruelty towards Joey on are the fact that he has no stable income, works in a volitile industry and will take what jobs he can get, and isn't as "smart" as Ross. And yet he only shows weakness around Joey when Joey is clearly getting more dates than Ross or when he proves he's physically stronger than Ross 🤔

27. Throws Chandler under the bus. All the time. Just... constantly. Then has the audacity to throw fits when Chandler throws the attitude back at him.

28. He treats every relationship he has as a way to get over Rachel. He then has the obligatory reflection period where he "realizes" that he needs Rachel, not actual closure.

29. Is literally only a dick to Paolo because Paolo is a beautiful Italian man who gives Rachel some good, good pipe. He doesn't even give a fuck when Paolo sexually assaults Phoebe, just uses it as an opportunity to make his own moves.

30. He never actually spends time with Ben. Of all of the episodes, only a dozen or so include Ben or mentions of Ross needing to go see Ben. He is an absentee father who still thinks he deserves more say in Ben's upbringing than Susan just because he is a bio parent.

Ross is a huge shitlord like watch any episode and notice how he's just a big kidney stone in everyone else's urethra. He's the worst. I hate him. Rachel should have gotten together with Joey because Joey would have gone with her to Paris to act and model in Europe and be a phenomenal husband. Maybe Phoebe gets in a knife fight with Ross idk but he should have died.

instead of Friends they should’ve called it Friends & Ross

[tirkdi]

Raven Stratagem Meme

Okay, I publicly said I’d do this meme and then I essentially neglect-cannoned the whole thing. I was trying to make an edit of Nirai Kujen and then it turned out terribly and ... well. Here we are. 

Also, idk if this is happening for anyone else, but searching for multi-word tags doesn’t seem to be working for me for the last few weeks? The words get connected by an OR rather than assuming that it’s a continuous tag so that searching for ‘#ninefox gambit’ just returns anything that has the tag ‘ninefox’ OR ‘gambit’ ... anyway. If anyone knows how to keep that from happening please tell me because I miss looking for posts about tiny fandoms. 

But HERE WE GO, squeezing in my answers to many of the meme questions in the last few hours before Raven Stratagem is available to the world. All of it under a cut because spoilers for 9fox!

favorite character: I wish this were someone other than Kujen, but it is not. Kujen may not have the highest bodycount in the book (or he may! TBD I guess) but he is definitely the baddest and I am psyched to be reading a character who is an actual sociopath – let alone a sociopath who loves fancy clothes. 

favorite character that only appeared for one scene and who’s probably dead by the end of the book: Okay confession time – I didn’t really care for these scenes. On the reread I kept wondering why they were there – Yoon Ha Lee said I think that it was to give more of a sense of the world (and it does), I just ... they weren’t my favorites. Probably my favorite is the weapon repairers because it was all so bureaucratic and I am a sucker for space bureaucracy.

…most interesting faction (not favorite): I am so curious about most of the factions and reeeeeally looking forward to seeing how they play out. The most pressing question I have is how the Nirai have Kujen has their hexarch for a gazillion years. 

top Extra thing that Jedao does: THE LUCKSTONE SCENE OOOOOOOOMMMMMGGGGGGGGGG CAN YOU EVEN. And it’s all brought together by that line at the very end – “At the risk of alienating you forever, I have to point out that you lost the moment you agreed to play the game on my terms, without negotiating.” Cold, Jedao. As Kujen would say: Just what is it that runs in your veins?

favorite quote favorite quotes: 

“The point of war is to rig the deck, drug the opponent, and threaten to kneecap their family if they don’t fold.” 

“Remember that despite the fact that I’m a traitor and a mass murderer, one of us is expendable, and it isn’t me.”

The knife was sharp in the way of bitter nights.

The silence could have swallowed a star.

“Calendrical Minutiae: Year of the Fatted Cow, Month of the Partridge, Day of the Hedgehog, I need to program some macros, and fuck the hour.”

“Are you trying to pass off a massacre of your own soldiers as a pedagogical exercise?”

Everyone thinks of the Shuos as the sneaky snailfuckers, but the Andan are so damn affable and charming and fun to be around up to the point where they stab you in the kidneys.

“Dead is dead, Cheris. Do you think it makes any difference whether you’re killed by a knife in the back or a bullet?”

savagely correct courtesy

“I once had someone swerve her tank out of our column and straight into a house. With a very large basement. Because she was too sleep-deprived to think. It’s funny now, but it wasn’t funny then. -- Oh, who am I kidding, it was hilarious, even if it was kind of a disaster. I laughed so hard my aide almost shot me.”

“Go fuck a power socket, Captain,” Ragath said, without heat, and signed off.

“I don’t mean sociopath values of crazy.” The corner of [Kujen’s] mouth tipped up for a moment. “I know what I am.”

“I can slaughter the math on my own.”

any ship! all the ships: Nerevor/Cheris. That’s really my only moth ship. If Cheris liked men more I could get behind Cheris/Jedao, and I could even believe Kujen/Jedao happened a few times in the Black Cradle (whatever the heck that looks like). I really want Nerevor/Cheris to have happened in book 1 – I’m not sure how it could possibly work later, though I hope Yoon Ha Lee is nice enough to make it a possibility by book 3 :)

wild guesses at Raven Stratagem’s plot Raven Stratagem’s plot if it was total fanservice just for me: KUJEN BLOWS TONS OF STUFF UP! Cheris/Jedao BLOW THINGS UP IN RETALIATION! The Andan appear and stab everyone in the kidneys. The universe collapses around Nerevor, who has fully recovered her memory, and Cheris as they share one beautiful kiss. For some reason, Shuos Mikodez is there. 

scene that Should Have Happened: Cheris/Nerevor before she got reverted to fledge null. Reversion’s scheduled for the morning, Nerevor shows up at Cheris’s door while she’s watching terrible dueling dramas ... Jedao has to be there so Cheris almost balks because he can’t not watch but he refuses to stand in the way of it and she finally relents and makes him swear to never mention it ever again not ever not even once.

scene you hope will happen in Raven Stratagem: CHERIS FIGHTING KUJEN!!!! Oh man, I want to see that so bad. I also want the plot to work to set up Nerevor/Cheris for book three. :)