#i was feeling a little down this morning
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🎶 💿 COME ON JACK DA FUNK 💿 🎶
#persona 4#p4#rise kujikawa#yosuke hanamura#the art of a lemon wedge#didn't come out exactly how I wanted but#ahhhhhh#it was just nice to draw them again#i was feeling a little down this morning#and they really helped me out of my little spiral#;u;#anyways#fUNKY MOONLIIIIIGGGHHHTTTTT
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one morning you cling to satoru’s back and sleepily plead for him not to leave for work and he feels closer to killing the higher ups than ever before
#explodes#i am . Thinking abt him#thinking abt him meeting a sweet non-sorcerer who makes him feel normal#thinking abt how weak he is to you and how he never ever ever wants to let you down or make you sad#so when you give him that meek little pout and ask him not to leave you in that sleepy little voice a part of his brain is just like .#……. maybe i could ask for a day off#even though he realistically knows he can’t#you make him want better things for himself#:((((((((((((((((((((#anyway i’m also imagining him kissing you all over and promising to hurry and being absolutely Stone Cold all day#no messing around no being silly he is a man on a mission and everyone is terrified#he kills the curse so quickly and thoroughly with such a serious expression that yaga asks him if he’s doing okay#💀💀#…. i love him .#he cherishes soft mornings with you more than anything!!!!!!!!!! he wants to sleep in with you…. it’s his dream……..#ari noises ✩#gojo x reader
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If u consistently choose kindness on the internet in comment sections and dms and content I love you.
#chatterbox#I See so many people always trying to stir the pot or cause arguments or take everything in bad faith just as an excuse for being mean#and it’s very demotivating as a human being . like wanting to exist in a world like that#however. kindness and love and joy is everywhere you look too. and it is a decision you can make .#shakes everyone by the shoulders I NEED SOMETHING TO BE DONE ABOUT THE WORLD WE LIVE IN#I love love and whimsy and happiness and i want everyone else to enjoy those feelings too#😞IMMA DRAW HAPPY CREEPED ART#DRAWN TOO MANY OF THEM FIGHTING AND GLARING AND COVERED IN WOUNDS#sucker when she gets somber before a shift#I work with kids imma see little babies babbling around like waaahuuuhghhh < baby noises#and I work w my fave coworker today AND it’s a morning shift instead of closing shift . blessed#actually they might put me back in the hole today.#couple weeks ago I was climbing 20 feet in the air on netting with no support so I could cut down fans that were a ft from the ceiling LMFAO#I miss my old coworker he was absurd but he was always giving us side quests
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TURN ON BOOPS I WANNA BOOP YA
just want you to know that i were feeling a bit of a slump this morning and were staring at the boop button not really feeling festive at all.... but this ask makes me smile, so i turn it on now 🤣
#ask#anon#reply#it's really a little thing that can change the whole day huh#also that Sticky song from Tyler's new album is really living rent free in my head. so idk why i were feeling so down this morning but#that's how i got every time i finish a studio deadline these days#anyway Chromakopia is sooo good pls listen to it !
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I am social'd out and very tired.
#my characters#oops i fell in love#drawing my anxiety son who i always throw in hoodies#doing what i did when i sat down at my computer in a thing with a hood#which is wear the hood and feel a little bit better and more sheltered#ON THE BRIGHT SIDE ! ! ! the sociald out is due to job stuff! cause I got an interview today!#but it was v sudden and i got the call last night asking if i could come in this morning#no idea when i start but man#im actually p excited for the job and i feel like people will think its silly if i say what it is#but its v much something i really want to do and i just gotta wait on the place to do a bg check on me#but it wore me out because thats how im built#i do feel better after decompressing while wearing my hood up tho#im like a salmon in a turtle shell
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Day 6: Farewell
Imagining it takes Partner a while to feel comfortable letting Hero out of their sight
@heropartnerweek
#Treecko#skitty#pokemon doodles#original art#heropartnerweek#heropartnerweek2024#This prompt wound up giving me the most trouble actually#I can’t for the life of me make a serious piece I’m sorry#Like my original thought was something sad. The actual farewell scene in explorers#But then it’s too sad :(#(and also too much background to draw 😭)#Anyway I don’t think partner would be able to accept hero’s actually BACK quickly#They’re thrilled no doubt#But can totally see them worrying it’s a mistake#Or temporary#checking for signs of that light when hero’s not looking#Going to bed every night praying they’ll still be there in the morning#Trying to live every day like it could be their last together#At least for a while#worst would be if they finally started to relax just before the palkia plot#Like they let their guard down and feel genuinely happy then BAM palkia in your house that night#Telling both of you your existence is destroying the fabric of space#After that can imagine hero really struggling to help partner feel relaxed/happy again#Because LAST time they relaxed they were almost killed#Anyway partner feeling they constantly have to be on guard for the next major catastrophe :(#Lot of pressure for a little pink kitten
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So this ficlet-ish thing was inspired by @hydrachea, nsfw super genius extraordinaire, but also by the fact that in addition to Boothill's left eye being cybernetic, I like to hc even the parts of him that look human aren't fully natural. I mean the dude eats bullets, after all. I think he should also have vents in his mouth so he can literally blow smoke/steam, it would look super cool. Think Father Gascoigne or Studio BONES' Todoroki. We as a fandom deserve that!!
So anyway, of course, sometimes these vents get blocked up and need to be cleaned manually. Thankfully, Dan Heng is super helpful ☆
Like there's one day where Boothill is lazing around in the archives, fresh off a bounty and happily soaking up the luxury of the Astral Express after however long he's spent tracking his prey through all the dust and dirt with almost no rest.
Boothill likes it in the archives. It's not silent, but it's quiet. There's no music and only muffled voices from outside, but there's the hum of all the computer systems. It makes for a nice place to hide away and recharge when he's just finished exhausting himself.
And besides, Dan Heng is there.
Sometimes the two of them talk back and forth, but today it's mostly quiet...except for-
"I didn't know it was possible for you to get sick."
...Except for Boothill having to constantly clear his throat. That's the thing about your mark trying to flee into the desert. You either go after them and get sand everywhere (and even worse, sticky sand once it gets all bloody) or you wuss out and lose out on the bounty. Personally, Boothill likes being able to afford to eat.
"Grit's stuck in a vent somewhere, 'n' the usual maintenance ain't gettin' it. I'll prob'ly have ta manually dig it out." But later, when he's not laid out half asleep on Dan Heng's extra futon. Usually after a chase as long as this one took, he can shut down for almost a full day. He doesn't want to get up yet.
Something shadows over him, and reflex demands Boothill's eye open. Dan Heng steps around him on his way to some drawer built in the wall on the other side of the room or something. Boothill closes his eye again.
From under his hat he hears the sounds of rummaging, drawers sliding open and shut, the swish of a long coat. The shadow returns.
"Sit up, just momentarily. I have something to help." And Boothill groans a tired don't wanna, but he does it anyway, he hauls himself upright into a kneel. And then he sits up a little straighter because he realizes Dan Heng is standing right over him.
Dan Heng tells him "open your mouth," and Boothill's jaw pops open without his permission, without even a second thought, and hey, what protocol in there ok'd THAT?!?!
Before he can really unpack whatever the heck that just was, though, Dan Heng murmurs for him to say so if he needs them to stop, and then he's sliding a long, hard rod down Boothill's throat, tipped with some soft little brush he probably uses for all his fancy archival equipment.
Dan Heng tells him the handle of the brush is straight and can't be bent, he needs to move his head to be able to reach the vent in his throat. Boothill hums affirmatively; he can't do anything else with his mouth occupied.
Dan Heng's free hand holds him by his jaw, tilts it up slowly but firmly so he has to look straight up at him.
Boothill feels dizzy.
The cycle of blue blood through his artificial heart whirrs just a bit faster, his temperature sensor pings an internal alarm to warn for imminent overheating. Boothill curls his fingers into the guard over his knee as Dan Heng carefully brushes at the dust irritating him. All other sounds- the hum of running equipment, the occasional beep from the computers, the noise of the crew outside of this room- seem to pull away, until all Boothill can focus on is the steady and measured breathing from the man above him.
"Almost done."
Thank the aeons, maybe one of them likes him after all.
"Your tongue is in the way... I'm going to hold it down, ok?"
Nevermind.
The fingers holding his jaw curl around his chin, thumb slipping past open lips to dip into his mouth and pin down his tongue. One of his teeth catch on the digit, breaking skin just enough to bleed a drop where he can taste it. Dan Heng doesn't even flinch. Another temperature alarm pings off in his brain, then another, then another.
Boothill has never been shy about eye contact but oh, god, it nearly kills him when dull green irises flick away from their task and look down right at him as his mouth is held open. He quickly squeezes his own eye shut for some relief.
With his vision cut off, the rest of his senses automatically recalibrate to compensate. He can hear every breath even more distinctly now, every soft inhale and exhale, feel the strain in his neck, the softness of the brush, the hard floor beneath his knees, the hand holding his jaw and the fingerprints that feel like they should leave burns in his skin, the taste of Dan Heng heavy on his tongue-
Forget it, eye open, eye open!!
"Alright. There's one last pebble stuck."
Boothill had been trained to endure torture, back on his homeworld. It was part of being in a gang, part of being a bounty hunter.
Somehow, keeping himself quiet and still as Dan Heng inches the brush even further down the back of his throat is a profoundly similar experience.
The seconds tick by, Dan Heng's brow furrowing, face growing ever more concentrated and Boothill struggles not to watch him too closely, fights down the noise that suddenly tries to escape him as the brush withdraws-
"Swallow."
Stars and aeons, Dan Heng is going to be the death of him.
Boothill swallows. He feels it when the movement finally dislodges the loosened pebble from his vent.
His face feels shockingly cold now bereft of touch, even though Dan Heng's hands are always cool. He asks to see, and Boothill's mouth is already open again to show him, even as he belatedly realizes he could have just told him it had worked.
"Good." There's the slightest smile on Dan Heng's lips as he finally, mercifully, leans back out of his personal space, goes to put away the brush. "That should feel better now." Boothill spends a moment dizzy and dazed, feeling the need to blink spots out of his eye even though his vision is clear. He still hasn't moved off his knees.
What the fudge.
#honkai star rail#Boothill's mouth: Thanks xiongdi.#Boothill's overheating neuro chip: *GLUCK GLUCK GLUCK GLUCK GL-*#There's just something so fun about Boothill being down bad and a little pathetic over Dan Heng JSKZIJSKSKSMD#Man's having an awakening here whether he wants it or not RIP#godspeed you sweet little fruitcake o7#Boothill sleeps on a couch in one of the cars (he's just visiting so he doesn't have his own room)-#-and keeps having to fight his temperature sensors all night long skzjmskznd#him laying there staring at the ceiling like 🏳️🌈? 🏳️🌈? 🏳️🌈???#and meanwhile Dan Heng is in the archives thinking to himself hm. he sure feels weirdly restless tonight. and kind of warm too.#and finally he's just like well whatever and rolls over and goes to sleep NSKZNZMSMSM#didn't do any of it on purpose has no idea what kind of torture he just inflicted on his friend smsjsmks#Boothill with gay panic is so much fun#he's so cute I love him#torture him some more Dan Heng!!!!#hsr#henghill#bootheng#dan heng#boothill#hsr boothill#hsr dan heng#suggestive#my fics#recalibrated with the sudden force of a sledgehammer#accidentally posted this while I was just trying to edit a fucking line#so now you guys get some sin on your dashes early good morning everyone BDKSJJSKWMDKD
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Wally brought you a cup of sugar!
Like a good neighbor!
He also has an egg in his pocket!
If you know, you know!
#a little morning doodle!#im not dead!!#holiday chaos and my adhd and time blindness is a fun mix!!#working on lik 5 pictures instead of one ofc ofc#sometimes i feel so so slow!#shaking myself to sit down and finish things!!#i feel panic when i havent drawn him in .05 seconds#then i draw him and i am soothed#he brought a literal cup. like a tumbler#like a good neighbor. Wally is there!#jazzsketches#wally darling
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#it's me i'm the wind blowing#y'all things are a little more complicated when it comes to these two#(sits down and takes a sip from my dark blue coffee mug)#(thinks: i wish i had springtrap coffee mug)#so...#both of them have difficult pasts#both are parents trying their best on raising their children#THE THING IS#one can't let herself get too attached#while the other is still afraid all humans are the same#but at the same time. they just want to find peace and happiness#and they've found it at home#they found happiness living those very brief and mundane moments#like waking up every morning#having breakfast next to people that make you smile#making your way to school/work and seeing sunlight pass through the trees#and going home after a tough day and there are rain clouds approaching. you just know you're going to sleep well at night#this is how they heal. and in the mean time. let themselves open up to each other#I have a feeling this is gonna be a slow burn kinda thing#COUGHING REALLY HARD#ENDING THIS RIGHT HERE OKAY BYE#starbstalks#springdad au
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love how i, as a grown ass adult, am still fucking terrified of groups of teenagers 🙃
#i had to go past a lot of them while out for my run this morning#and i kept telling myself it's fine but it made me so so anxious i wanted to turn around and just go back home#like. apparently i really will always be that bullied little girl deep down huh#and part of me finds it comforting. the thought that we carry these people we used to be with us#but i hate feeling like this in my fucking 30s because it makes me feel so silly#and i KNOW it's not. i know this shit affects you sometimes for the rest of your life but. ugh#i remember my therapist at some point saying 'i think a lot of your anxiety developed due to you getting bullied'#like it was some massive revelation dldgjkd#and i was like yeah no shit#she was a great therapist but duh lmao#anyway idk why i'm even talking about this#eena.txt#tbd
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musings on maya fey and the ship of theseus
They say that every 7 years so many of your cells have died and regenerated, that you, your hair, your nails, your skin, you, are a biologically different person. I wonder how many trims it will take for my hair to forget the feeling of your fingers?
#this is the part where you find out i was never properly taught comma usage#maya fey#ace attorney#fey and co#i have so many thoughts and feelings about maya and the feys and hair and like#i think its a thing passed down i dooo i think mia did maya's hair every morning i think maya does the same for pearls#i think there's a long line of women who pass down little pieces of themselves to each other until they die its AREARAFH#FEY WOMEN#SEND TWEET#portal of art
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i am not immune to launchpad sol and albin thoughts
#ramble tag#its so like. okay.#launchpad was when they 'peaked'. best years of their lives#the . i think what we canonically know happened at launchpad was like.#laquidditch (fun!) christmas special adventures (fun!)#and then . also#getting deeply bullied. sol lightly kidnapped to launchpad. lizer. claudius. 'you made us run until we threw up' 'im pretty sure he got off#on torturing kids'. literally what the fuck was their deal#getting stuck in a spiders web ???? for a semester ?????#......??? getting chased down by a vaccum cleaner ..........#'it got a lot darker near the end' ... fun pretend child endangerment#like . man.#not to sound CRAZY or anything. does anyone get the impression launchpad was like. a bad ? time ? for them ?? like. it just straight up. bad#by god does it rlly sound to me like#the feeling of when high school was so bad it made ur life a living hell to be in. and u were truly just. surviving#but then youd b goofing off w ur friends in a little dorm. and the stress and the exhaustion seems to color everything that isnt that.#in a beautiful hazy rosy golden film#it hurt but the hurt was monotonous and dull. so all u remember were those shining bright in betweens#sol and albie sneaking into the kitchen and enchanting the self moving cookingware and just seeing what happens#and watching mothership approved saturday morning cartoons in bed#and studying together late at night n sol tucks albin in after hes crashed from hiss allnighter#and passing notes in class#and all that free time over crittermas breaks to do stupid dares and long rambling conversations abt nothing#sol knits albie his first sweater#they have their first beer together#they come back after a really bad day for the both of them and lie on the floor and talk abt anything but that#albin practices spells on sol and its not a good or safe idea but its probably fine#albin pettily bitching about his assigned partner for an arcana class project and sol blindly tsking his side always#only wizards can check out library books and albie checks out all sols books for him#...... anyway
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Wow, I'm really making steady progress on my Askr siblings plushies, more than I've made in god knows how long, I can finally kind of see how everything is gonna theoretically fall into place --
The Unauthorized Fucking Thing:
#diy plush#moe tag#one of the eyebrows is def fucked. but like. i've been at it since this morning. all of this was done today#which is! maybe impressive? esp to pick up embroidery again? i do feel like it went quickly!#but. first rule of sewing. is to just stop. when you even feel a little bit tired or cranky. put it down.#you WILL fuck yourself over SO BADLY. if you force it when you're tired and cranky.#fabric arts are not forgiving. and are extremely time consuming. just put it down. when you need to.#i wish i could infodump more but as i said. tired and cranky. gonna blow this whole building up.#or perhaps play animal crossing.
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AU where Brent is a drone to help out at crime scenes and offer input after Right finds the drone. And basically he befriends the really weird guy possibly controlling the drone but has his doubts as to how human the drone's source can be. So Right and Brent just go around trying to solve crimes while Right just calls the drone "Fuckwad (affectionate)".
#my characters#i love right so much and i think he would actually do pretty dang well with a lil assistant drone because not a person#which means not liable to get hurt with a bit of contact so he can just#tap the lil drone or poke it to push it away a little#anyway hi i had a very VERY bad morning and im not gonna lie#i was genuinely at one point thinking huh what if i get hospitalized that sure would suck#and i was thinking huh maybe i should think of how to instruct my mom on how to post on tumblr to tell you guys im hospitalized#which in my defense i had to bother my mom at 2am bc i went down to get pain meds and couldnt make it upstairs#and was breathing so intensely on the stairs hunched over i was like hmmmm not the usual panic attack feelings#and she immediately asked me if i wanted to go to the hospital#so im like cool not gonna let that outta my mind thats fine surely no problem#just gonna fixate on being hospitalized#anyway i finally got helped upstairs and was in incredible pain and couldnt breathe v easily#and it was leading to a bit of a panic attack because i was in so much pain simply trying to inhale and#my breathing was so shallow and sharp and my arms were just having bad circulation and shaking and hm#yeah it was p bad#anyway as a treat to myself not being in a hospital i drew my beloved raccoon son right
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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
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i'm so tired
#fell asleep with a headache. woke up with a headache. i know its to be expected but still. id hoped id feel a little better#i wish that my family were able to be more emotional around each other.#the closest we got was when it was just me and my uncle and someone from macmillan called to check in randomly#and i could hear him trying not to cry when he told her that she had died that morning#god i cant stop thinking about how he must feel. after the paramedics left. he was alone from 7am til when i showed up.#so he wrote down everything that happened as a way to work through the what ifs.#reading that was so harrowing. and talking through it to help him conclude that there was nothing he couldve done.#awful awful awful#and my mum has gone into 'practical' mode and wants to just sit and call people and tell them but old people have insane networks#so everyone shes called already knows#i just wish theyd all take a break and just sit with each other
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