#i was feeling GREAT all this past week
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ayoooo guess who spent christmas eve in bed with a 101.8 feverrrrrrrr 🤟🏻
#it’s me. i’m the one who spent christmas eve in bed with a 101.8 fever 🙃#literally came out of NO WHERE too like????#i was feeling GREAT all this past week#and then last night my body was like ‘hm what if we made you not feel good’#and i was like ‘ah man don’t do that please please pleeeeeaaaaaase’#and then it was like ‘fuck you 101.8 fever and also you feel like your skull is full of razor blades. merry christmas motherfucker.’#and two of my friends texted me today being like ‘merry christmas eve i hope you’re having a good day :)’#and I had to be like ‘ooo my friends thank you but I am very unwell…’#medicines kickin in tho so hopefully by tomorrow morning I’ll be able to get out of bed even if just for a little bit#anyway…#ciaras tag
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OH MEIN GOTT DAS STAR BELLY SNEETCH IST CUNTENSERVEN
#ggg#great god grove#huzzle mug#iggy's art#OKAY SO I MAY or may not have fallen in love w a certain god#IT HAS BEEN THE ONLY THING ON MY MIND THESE PAST FEW WEEKS huzzle you are perfect and i lvove you i cannot wait to learn all about you#i havent had any time to draw BUT the huzzle bug got me BAD i HAD to squeeze in every minute i could to draw a lil something for it 💦#feels so good to have finally drawn something after so long and huzzle is such a fun design to play w!! will ABSOLUTELY be drawing it more🫶
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#this is one of my favorite pokémon of ALL time. this is one of those pokémon that#when it first came out‚ i had such a Visceral reaction to. i couldn't get over this fucking dog. and i still can't#THEY CAN'T FUCKING SEE!!!!!! AHJGSAKDGASJGDSKCGAJVCKABCKB#i love it SO much it's so fucking. cute. it's so fucking cute. so happy to see that blue haired bitch in the sv dlc having one#DAS IST MEIN BABY. I LOVE IT. lord this is the best. gushing over this dog#while also listening to discO-zone for the first time in a Long time#which is one of my favorite albums of all time. right next to probably vylet pony's cutiemarks and the things that bind us#and burn pygmalion from the scary jokes#there you go. there's my music taste lain out flat. kinda all over the place but discO-zone is one of those that i've loved since i was#a real youngin. and i just rediscovered it last night and UUUUUUUGGHHHH IT'S SO GOOD#MUSIC!!!! AND DOGS. feeling GOOD this morning#by the time this posts‚ it'll be like. two weeks later. but past me was feeling great when she posted this#about to start shiny hunting pawniard for a friend's birthday. technically getting eggs as i write this#wish me luuuuck..! it'll probably be his birthday by the time this posts. lemme check#oh yeah this is gonna post two days After his birthday. hopefully by the time this goes up i've already got the pawniard#HI FORGOT TO TAG THIS ONE#hisuian growlithe#hi from the future again lol his birthday was like a month ago by this point because i ended up queueing up this guy before all the gmax#forms. i totally forgot them. and this whole time i've been queuing them up and shoving them Above this guy. so it was even longer ago#that i queued this guy up at this point. teehee!
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The First Rule
So just a reminder to everybody: the first rule of Hermitcraft fandom on any platform is DO NOT BE AN ASSHOLE TO THE HERMITS!
I will repeat it for anyone who was skimming the first time.
DO NOT BE AN ASSHOLE TO THE HERMITS!
I'm not sure why this is so hard for some people, especially on Twitter and Reddit, but we on Tumblr are not immune either. The Hermits are people and they are artists and they are entertainers. They are not your punching bags, their are not your parasocial therapists, and they are not mouthpieces for your political causes! Using them for any of these things is NOT OKAY.
The mental health of all the Hermits would probably be improved if they could just go completely private on their social media, only engage with their real-life friends and people they like, but they can't. Social media engagement is required for their work. That means that bellying up to the comment section and demanding they agree with your political opinions is like doing that to the barista at your coffeeshop while they're trying to pull you an espresso. It's totally inappropriate, it's bullying (especially in large numbers) and it's not going to get you what you want, if what you want is good Hermitcraft.
If you want to strike on your blog, that's fine. If you want to try and have nuanced political discussions on a format that only rewards lightning-fast bite size takes, no matter how bad they are, go for it. But the moment, the very instant you start badgering other people to do the same, you're wrong and you need to stop. This applies _especially_ when you know that the people you're badgering are reliant upon their social media for their livelihood. Nobody ever became morally good from what they do on Twitter or Reddit or Tumblr or Tiktok, but a hell of a lot of people have become worse.
#hermitcraft#fandom stuff#the bullying online i have seen this past couple weeks is unreal#performative activism feels great but if you're not very careful it will make you a worse person#i also feel really bad for the youngsters in the community who actually believe that they will be bad people if they don't reblog whatever#i just want to hug them and tell them that none of this matters and none of the people yelling actually care about them at all
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nooooo they cut out so much of the letter writing that she's arriving as a total stranger to these people! they welcome her as a friend in the book! this is a fine storyline but honestly I was really hoping to see that beat play out
#gosh I should learn not to do book first and then movie#this movie is great in many ways so far but now I'm loyal to the book and Don't Like the Changes#I want her to already know and love Amelia and Isola!#I want that scene of them all arriving at the dock so excited to finally meet her!#I guess a strictly epistolary format wouldn't translate well to film? but idk I feel like they could condense it in a way that makes sense#anyway I'm really genuinely enjoying the movie so far I just. read the book this past week and fell in love with it#the guernsey literary and potato peel pie society#liveblog
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This time last year I would drive out to shows an hour and a half away from me and my back would already be in pain by the time I arrived. All I could do was stand there and nod along and stand one or two rows back from the pit and hold my arm up to keep people standing if they knocked back into me. By the end of the show I would be fatigued and my feet, my back, my neck, and my shoulders would be in moderate to severe pain, even if I took a naproxen before I left.
Last night I went to a show the same distance from me where the headliner had an hour and a half set. I was on the edge of a rowdy push pit full of sturdy to beefy dudes in their 30s and 40s and even on the edge there was a lot of dancing and jumping and shoving. I honestly only recognized one song from the headliner but I was having the time of my life and was incredibly sweaty and tired out by the end, and only my feet were mildly sore, not even having taken pain meds
It only really struck me last night just how different my experience is now to when I started going to shows regularly 2 years ago, and especially last year at my worst point with pain, and it got me reflecting on what's changed.
I had a breast reduction/top surgery. I had physical therapy, which I'm still seeing the benefits of even though I definitely had some deconditioning after surgery. I switched to slightly better shoes. I also have a different car and the head rest doesn't tilt my neck forward lol. I can't tell if I'm more active or not - I've been going to more shows and going on like 1 or 2 10-min walks per week, but my job changed from hybrid to fully remote so it's hard to tell.
The best part though? Fatphobes can get absolutely wrecked because in the past year I've put on maybe 20-25lbs and my knee and hip pain are gone so🖕🖕
#I think the PT and surgery are the biggest factors but the rest adds up!#I was feeling down the past few weeks about still not having great stamina or strength but yesterday put into perspective how far I've com#I don't feel so hopelessly deep in a hole - maybe I can still make even more quality of life improvements to my activity level like this#And I did it without spiralling into unhealthy attitudes and behaviors to do with exercising even while experiencing shame in that category#Anyway I'm in my 30s and getting back out there after a looot of isolation in the first 3 yrs of the pandemic. It's hard but worth it 🖤#*masked through all this too!
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You said that if you dated Peter or Wade it would make you miserable. Which– Okay fair, Wade does have a history of purposely hurting the people he loves.
But what about Peter? Why do you think dating him would make you miserable?
because I’ll always know I had the option to climb a 6’8 cyborg and I passed that up for a sweaty little twunk that I perpetually have to remind to bathe (sorry peter)
#I don’t know. I don’t think peter is good boyfriend material. I think his insecurities would get exhausting.#Wade has bottomless patience. me… I don’t know. I don’t think I could. I’ve got my own stuff going on. I don’t want a Project.#peter is definitely a project. and he needs someone with shed loads of patience and perseverance.#me I just. I wanna have a good time. so. come to me my big beautiful time traveller. whisk me away.#take me to the beach. you can disappear after I don’t mind I’m not needy. just spend a beautiful romantic week with me.#sci speaks#I don’t really know what kind of person I’m compatible with really actually.#all my relationships have been. pretty short.#and I don’t think it’s any fault of my own really. and I don’t feel any loss over them at all. like at all. I wish I did. but I don’t.#a sci has so very thankfully never felt heartbreak.#but it makes me kind of question what kind of person I am when it comes to this sort of thing.#because I really don’t know.#I don’t know if I want commitment. I don’t even know if I want sex these days.#I … weirdly… am so devoid of yearning these days. like I feel content right now on my own. I don’t even feel lonely.#I used to yearn but I think I’ve moved past it. and I kind of just want to have a good time.#and that doesn’t even . involve a relationship or anything anymore. like I don’t think I want one actually. it feels like I’m Over it.#it’s kind of great because I’ve never felt so calm in a long time. all because I decided that I don’t. actually Need anything.#I don’t need anything more than what I have. and that’s brought me rest after So Long being restless.#but if a massive time traveller came and whisked me away on sexy adventures how could I say no
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good morning
#i finished my bio assignment last night so i wouldn't feel pressured to do it all today and i am very grateful for my past self for that#it isn't great but i took “do it bad” to heart. it isn't good but it's done and that's all that matters to me#i was REALLY struggling with it so i'm just glad it's done#now i can draw 👍#well. i have exams next week. but THEN i will be FREE for a few weeks to draw WHATEVER MY HEART DESIRES#my art#cats oc#oc: foxglove
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dad has covid so send your best thoughts for him to get well soon and for me not to catch it so I won't lose my job 🤞🤞🤞
#kind of over the past week tbh. not one of the all time greats#i am wondering if i should start putting in other job applications before i start feeling sick but i need to drive home
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Been stuck in yet another depressive rut for the past week and haven't had the motivation to draw because of it But they are very precious to me 🥺💖💕
/Referenced from here
#sacredshipping#morty x eusine#morty/eusine#gym leader morty#morty pokemon#eusine#mystery man eusine#eusine pokemon#pokemon#pokemon hgss#pokemon gsc#haven't been feeling it lately gang TT TT#it's a miracle I managed to finish this doodle idea at all honestly askdansdas I haven't been able to draw in a week now#been spending the past few days rotting away and it hasn't been great But . I'm still alive at the end of the day at least :')#it'll still take a long while until I'm really feeling okay again#but at least these two sillies still bring comfort to me sdjfnsdfn#save me sacredshipping save me...................................
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#god if i could go 5 seconds without being severely stressed that would be great#it’s so exhausting i can’t fucking do this#i can’t do anything i can’t draw play videogames read write or even post my shitty hc posts#i just can’t because i’m so unbelievably scared#it’s been like this for the past few weeks and i just can’t anymore i feel like i’m falling apart with this new diet#the gallstone. diabetes fears that are returning because they were testing blood sugar and not my a1c#you have to pay for that here. i have to do that i guess#literally sitting here crying and screaming for hours while mindlessly watching anything on youtube in between#i don’t take anything in really i just can’t be alone with my thoughts#cuz then i’d start freaking out even harder again#i just feel like i’m one second away from death at all times#romeo’s wretched rambles
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My goal was to grade 10 papers today. I really really reeeeaaaallyyyyy didn't want to and had to fight tooth and nail through the executive dysfunction. I clawed my way through at a pace of one essay per hour. I hated it, but I did it!
It's not even the fact that I reached my goal that made me happy (it was arbitrary). It's the fact that I'm even capable of getting through difficult things I don't want to do at all. I have been working on my self-discipline and focus for years and I'm very proud of myself for how far I've come.
#adhd problems#considering that 9 years ago i was failing several university classes due to undiagnosed ADHD#and in the past 3 years I've grown enough to do an online master's degree which required me to write a 12k word dissertation by myself#and in the past 5 months i started a job as a university professor and i have to be so self-motivated#i am solely responsible for making lesson plans and doing all the grading#grades are due August 17 and i have graded 30/40 essays as of today#if i can get 5 more done tomorrow and 5 on the weekend i can submit them on Sunday#which is a whole week early and was my carefully scheduled goal#so yeah the fact that i can force myself to stick to my schedule even though i don't HAVE to? 9 years ago me could never#personal#and tbh this is my version of self-care and it sucks but i can do it#i will take great pains to never let myself feel the way i did in 2015 when i flunked out of school#I'll get my grades in early so i can let myself enjoy the rest of the summer
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in a variant of useless arguments that unfortunately i can't just use the block button on, i am reliving a wtfry from like five years ago because i'm trying to sort through my medical history and figure out if i have any further lurking disasters and i'm currently stuck on
me: i am trying to eat healthier so i want to add more fruits and vegetables to my diet
nutritionist: no don't eat more fruits! that's too much sugar! sugar is bad for you!
like really we're not talking about processed foods or added sugars, this person straight up told me there was too much sugar in raw, fresh fruit
#please god let my labwork imbalances rebalance#i've been prediabetic off and on for a decade and my last A1c was 5.5 so it's not getting worse & i need doctors to get off my ass about it#and I absolutely KNOW if you push me certain ways about food i'll go orthorexic if not anorexic#(and they won't even treat it like an illness because I'm fat)#(at a checkup last week I was commenting on my surgical recover and i lamented 'and i'm still losing weight' and the doc was like 'good!')#(bitch my weightloss was a symptom of an organ crisis i could have died of. no it's not good! i want to STABILIZE!)#i've spent years disentangling myself from the toxic diet culture shit my mother dumped on me like drink a glass of water to feel full#fuck that i barely ever feel hungry in the first place i need to listen to what signals i do get#and after all my hard work they're gonna try to drag me back in#i just fuckin know it#it's not like trying to balance my current dietary restrictions isn't borderline orthorexic already#but i feel like i have a grasp on why i do it and when moderation vs strict adherence is okay#and from past experience counting calories is the line where i will fully go insane#maybe 25 years on I could resist but i don't want to try#i would rather go on metformin or some other fuckin' drug i don't really need than count calories#ugh it's a week until my next appointment to talk about this it would be great if it would get out of my brain until then#chronic illness#medical bullshit#food bullshit
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okay like i want to preface that i do not have anything against the storylines that they are doing, i’m straight vibing with this season, having fun. i just want to say it’s a little frustrating to me that 911 keeps tacking on these buck and/or eddie centric “surprise” scenes at the end of an episode because then it becomes the big talking point of the episode after the fact and a lot of the other stuff that happened in it falls away to the sides a bit
#like yes i love buddie/buck/eddie all variants there and thereof#and yeah i’ll say i do enjoy experiencing whiplash from media#maybe i just need to broaden my horizons a bit in terms of 911 fandom related stuff idk#but like i am also very much here for the other characters and their storylines getting the proper love they deserve!#past two episodes have been SO good for chim & maddie storylines (and OF COURSE madney wedding storyline my beloved)#and this week we had some great henren and wilson fam stuff#and don’t get me wrong i am also laughing at eddie and enjoying this messy storyline they’re writing for him#and i’m SO happy for canon bi buck. and happy that him and tommy are having a good time etc#i just also want to highlight and see highlighted the storylines that the other characters are getting#anyways. yeah. i’m really really really not trying to start any drama or anything#just wanted to express my feelings#911#911 spoilers#abby.txt#idk if i should tag this as anything else#feel free to lmk if you think i should tag this as something like fandom wank or smth for it to be blacklistable
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#finally met my angeeellll#went on a walk just to spend time with the moon#i was so happy really#i havent seen it in a while 🥺🥺#i miss you a lot lately#idk its stupid but i do feel like#ive been like not here the past couple of days mentally#or weeks i dont know#bt release their single and i did not listen to it#but idk why#it just feels overwhelming#and i havent watched older lives either much#i dont know#it's just shittie lately#everything's overwhelming#especially his absence sigh#but i still love BT#all of them#i just really need to sort myself out before jumping into the new era ahaha#the actual album is almost getting released and im really not ready aaaa#itll be so overwhelming#idk what to do lol. Cuz i dont wanna avoid it but i dont think i can immediately listen to it#idk! sorry for the ramble#much thoughts in this tiny exhausted brain lately#Also sorry for the inactivity and all. i have some stuff in drafts but idk. i feel heavy posting them???#its stupid but i feel like its somehow disrespectful to post old content when i know the guys are moving forward??#but of course that's not the case but yes i feel so confused#and really exhausted. im sleepwalking through my life lately honestly and it's not that great 💔#but hope itll be better soon#ahhhh. i need to finish school too cuz i cant disappoint the ppl around me. and i cant disappoint myself either
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i am just trying to coook lunch and i keep getting hurricane storm alerts. guys i know. no guys i know. im aware😭😭
#i wont lie half neurotic from the back to back hurricanes but all things considered im lucky where i am.#since we're just barely on the outskirts of literal death storm surges so#ig im just nervous. im just been a ball of nerves the past few weeks. doesnt really feel real and ig im in my own world trying to rationali#e#the entire world#not that it can be rationalized#i do not feel great. but i will be fine eventually#i dont think my family in the death zone plans to evacuate so idk how to feel about that. idk. well no i know how i feel but the feeling#its not a great one?#fingers crossed it will all be ok and i am overreacting#apologies ive just been venting on here. it is getting TOUGH#but i am alive and i am good and we are so normal
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