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justanotherlifeff · 4 years ago

Note

This is a kinda angst kinda fluff request but bakugo x a reader who apologies a lot even when it isn't their fault

Sorry

Warnings: Domestic violence, angst but eventual fluff, mentions of addiction

The way you were always apologising pissed Bakugou off ever since you stepped into class 1A. At the begining, he saw you as yet another pushover extra who didn't deserve his attention. However, when he got to see your immensely powerful quirk and your amazing control over it, he had to notice you and he found you to be almost as irritating as Deku if not worse. Why were you always apologising to everyone? Why did you always mutter a 'sunimasen' every time you hit someone with your quirk during training? Did you feel like no one was at your level and you would have to baby them? Who the fuck did you think you are? These were the thoughts that played into Bakugou's mind about you. At first, he tried to shout at you to intimidate you, which utterly failed as you kept profusely apologising to him for upsetting him. After that, Bakugou just ignored your existance, or atleast he pretended to. If he was being honest to himself, he found you weird. The fact that you were always apologising wasn’t normal. Sure, Bakugou almost never apologised, but, even if he were to compare you to someone normal like Kirishima, your rate of apologising was unnatural.

With time, he came to notice more subtle details about you. He noticed how you flinched before starting to apologise to random people for no reason. He also noticed the fact that you always had a slight glint of fear in your eyes every time you apologised to someone. While initially Bakugou thought that you were doing this because you felt like you were superior to everyone, now he saw that you were genuinely scared of something. "She has a strong fucking quirk... What the hell is she so afraid of?" was one of the questions that plagued Bakugou's mind now. The other question would be, "Why do I even give a fuck?". Yes, ever since he found that you didn't apologise because you felt like you are superior, he found himself getting more drawn to you. Your quirk was very compatible with him when it came to sparring and he found himself asking you to train with him. Ofcourse, he was still annoyed by the fact that you apologised about every little thing but he had a feeling that something wasn’t right. Unlike Deku, you weren’t being nice just for the sake of being nice.

You on the other hand, grew closer to Bakugou with time. Ofcourse, he didn't know anything about your life and you knew that he would throw you away like garbage if he did but then again, you were always good at keeping secrets. Ever since you started training together, you found yourself getting drawn to him. You never talked much at class and tried to keep a low profile but you found yourself having lunch with him on UA's roof. Ofcourse he still shouted at you about apologising way too much but you just couldn’t take the risk of not doing so. You knew the consequences of mistakes like that too well. Yes, you thought that he would never find out, however, Bakugou was more perceptive than the average person. He noticed every single move you made unbeknownst to you and you never imagined the fact that he would follow you home.

Bakugou was confused by the way you made him feel lately. At class, you almost never talked. However, during lunch breaks, when you and Bakugou hung out together, he saw a different side to you. Yes, you still apologised about literally everything even when it wasn’t your fault or even if the issue itself had nothing to do with you. However, you cracked jokes that made him laugh and in rare occasions, you made sassy comebacks with a completely straight face that made him howl with laughter (though you started apologising for being rude after that). Bakugou was confused by the giddy feeling that you brought within him because he clearly enjoyed your company. After reluctantly taking advice from Kirishima about it, (Kirishima noticed Bakugou's behaviour towards you and figured out that Bakugou had a thing for you and hence, he gave Bakugou advice without Bakugou asking for his help because Bakugou would never ask for advice by himself) Bakugou figured out that he had a crush on you. Bakugou was never good at emotions but he wasn’t the one to be coward enough to run away from it (Because Kirishima pretty much dared him to ask you out). Hence, Bakugou made plans to ask you out.

After class was over and you were on your way home, Bakugou stopped you. You were confused by that since you and Bakugou didn't usually talk except for when you were training together or during lunch. "Oi, (L/N)!" he called out before you stopped. You were also surprised by the fact that he used your last name instead of one of his weird nicknames. "Oh hey Bakugou. What's up? Did I do something wrong? I'm so sorry..." you answered. "Nah you didn't do anything wrong dumbass. What I wanted to say was that do you want to have lunch with me on this weekend? We already have lunch together everyday so this shouldn’t be a problem for you." Bakugou told you, looking away from you, trying to hide an obvious blush. "Uh... Are you sure about it? I really don't want to bother you even more..." you muttered in answer. "Hah? Do you have shit for brains (L/N)? Why the fuck will I ask you out on a damn date if you fucking bothered me?" Bakugou barked at you. "Huh? Date? I... I can't... I'm sorry..." your eyes widened at the begining but then your eyes were watering as you choked out the last part of your sentence before running away, leaving Bakugou confused. With that, Bakugou had enough. He was going to uncover your secret at this very day because it was clear to him from your expression that you didn't want to reject him.

At first, Bakugou felt weird about following you. He maintained a good amount of distance so that you wouldn’t notice him as you got on a train. He knew where you lived at since you mentioned your train trip slightly during a conversation with him, enabling him to buy the ticket. The train trip didn't last too long and Bakugou was on your trail yet again. However, when he found you entering an area that could be recognised as a slum, Bakugou was unpleasantly surprised. You entered UA on recommendations as your quirk was very strong and you saved a citizen once, gathering the attention of a few pro heroes. Bakugou also knew that you were studying in UA under a scholarship since you had potential but bad financial conditions. However, he didn't expect your financial conditions to be that bad. Bakugou was hiding nearby as he saw you stop infront of a shabby house as if you were contemplating whether to enter or not. After a while of just standing there, you entered the house, closing the door behind you. "Did she reject me because her dumb ass thought I'll reject her cause she's poor?" Bakugou wondered angrily as he didn't like the fact that you thought so low of him. However, all his doubts were cleared just when he decided to go back home and the door to your house was roughly opened and you were thrown out of the house.

Bakugou's eyes widened at your condition. You were still in your school uniform but your hair was messed up and you were clutching your stomach in obvious pain. Bakugou decided not to hide anymore and ran towards you. "Shit! (L/N)! Are you okay?! What the fuck was that?!" Bakugou asked you loudly, his voice showing concern as his face twitched into an angry but concerned expression. You on the other hand was surprised, embarrassed, scared and in pain. "Bakugou... What are you doing here?" you asked him, croaking in pain. "I'll explain that later. Firstly, did someone hit you? Is this your home? Where are your parents? You have a shit tonne of explaining to do dammit! I'm taking you to a fucking hospital and don't fucking argue." Bakugou barked at you, picking you up from the street. "I'm sorry about this mess..." you croaked out only to get an incredulous look from Bakugou.

You were kicked in your stomach. The doctor in the nearby hospital gave you medicines to relieve the pain. After checking you, they found many bruises, results of domestic violence. Bakugou wasn’t allowed to be there with you since he wasn’t family when the police were called to interview you. After all the procedures were completed, you were moved to a ward room where you were to be kept for the day as the kick was quite strong. That was when Bakugou was finally allowed to see you. He had been waiting in the waiting room for hours. He needed to have a chat with you about everything. When he entered the room, he found you sitting on the bed, looking out of the window beside the bed. Hearing him come in, you looked at him and suddenly, Bakugou could see a glint of guilt in your eyes. "I'm so sorry about all that mess..." you muttered, looking down at the floor. "It's not your fault, dumbass. Do you wanna talk about it?" Bakugou asked you, trying to keep his rough voice soothing. "I... Okay... You deserve to know..." you muttered in answer before telling him everything.

Your mother was a drug addict. Your father left you when you were in elementary school and never came back. Your mother was a drug dealer and that's where the money to support the family came from. You were ashamed of your background because how can the daughter of a criminal be a hero? You've wanted to be a hero since you were a kid and getting into UA was the best thing that happened to you. While you were in class, you could reject your family for a little amount of time. When you were with Bakugou, you could be yourself. However, your life never left you alone. Your mother was abusive. She found it fun to hit you even if you made the slightest of mistakes, sometimes even when you did absolutely nothing. Apologizing became your self defence mechanism as there was no other way to stop your mother from hitting you. Yes, you had a strong quirk but your mother had the quirk to erase quirks almost like Aizawa which made you helpless against her. The effect of your life at home creeped it's way into the life you made for yourself at school as you were constantly terrified. When Bakugou asked you out, you couldn’t express how much you wanted to say yes, how much you wanted to hug him. However, you knew better. Why would someone who is so driven to be the number 1 hero, someone who wants to save everyone, like someone who can't even stop her own mother from doing crimes? You felt as if you didn't deserve him.

At the end, you were crying. Bakugou was completely quiet as you explained everything. Suddenly, you felt Bakugou's hand on your head as he pulled you into a hug. He was standing infront of the bed as you were sitting, with your forehead pressed to his stomach. "You really are a dumbass aren’t you? You didn’t have a choice back there. It's not your damn fault idiot." Bakugou muttered as he patted your head. "I-I'm sorry..." you sobbed as your arms wrapped around him, pulling him closer. "Don't apologise idiot. I swear I'll break the arms of anyone who tries to lay a damned finger on you. You won't apologise without a fucking reason anymore. Promise me that." Bakugou barked at you, still petting your head. "I promise." you muttered between your sobs as a smile kept forming on your face. "We are having that date too." Bakugou muttered, making sure that you didn't catch the way he blushed. "Yeah. We are." you answered with a full blown smile on your face.

[Author's note: I'm not too good at writing angst but I hope this was okayish?]

#bakugou katsuki #bnha bakugou #bnha #bnha fanfiction #bnha x reader #bakugo katsuki #bakugo x reader #mha bakugou

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rosegoldannie · 4 years ago

Text

A feysand AU

thank you to my best friend for helping my name this!

this is a one-shot

Masterlist

*a/n please send in prompts for me to write!!*

“Please?” He groaned, the most undignified I had ever seen him. Well, the most undignified I had seen him today. He always let his facade slip when he was around me.

I huffed a sigh, continuing to dodge him, as he followed me through the halls of the stone palace. “No, I already told you. I don’t have time.” I sent up a quick prayer that he might take the hint, might not continue to follow me. My prayer went unanswered.

“Liar,” He purred, easily keeping time with my steps, even as he was strolling backwards, “I know for a fact that there are no meetings scheduled today.” That silky voice took on a slightly hurt tone. “Feyre, if you don’t want to spend time with me, you don’t have to spare my feelings.”

At that, I finally slowed, and let out a drawn out breath. “No, Rhys.” I muttered, moving to lean against a stone pillar. Partly to get us out of sight from any nosy dignitaries, and partly because I was exhausted. Having forgone sleep the previous night, entirely due to a marathon lecture from my parents and sisters, my eyes stung with the effort it took to keep them open. Racking my brain, I tried to think of an excuse that was both believable and yet not insulting. Rhys was my friend, had been since childhood, but still. Emissaries and dignitaries alike always seemed to get the wrong idea of us, and my family had told me countless times that it was disgraceful for someone of my stature to be associated with him. Nevermind that he was first in line to the throne of Velaris, whereas I was only third in line for the throne of my kingdom. Nesta’s words rang harshly in my mind, of how, yes, he was first in line, but he was tainted because of his many, many relationships with many, many women.. “I...don’t think that would be a good idea.” The words tasted like dirt, and it was an effort not to gag.

Rhysand’s expression didn’t change. “Really.” He drawled, crossing his arms.

I nodded warily, eyes flying around to ensure no one saw us.

“Because that sounds an awful lot like your family talking, darling.”

Try as I might, I couldn’t fight the blush that arose at his old nickname for me. “Stop, someone could hear you.” Shoving the hair behind my ears, I kept my eyes trained on the cold, marble flooring. “And don’t call me that, someone could get the wrong idea.”

He only chuckled, rolling his violet eyes in the way that only he could: just enough sassy to let you know he wasn’t pleased, but not harsh enough to be hurtful, with a dramatic flair, because it was Rhysand Darling, and he never did anything without a large dramatic flare. “Alright, darling.” He said.

Leaning farther back against the column, I watched out through the tall, tempered glass windows, where down on the great lawn, ant-sized people were scurrying around, and setting up the croquet game for tomorrow. I already knew no one would play, save for me and Rhys. And even then, we played only for show. Sighing again, I thought back to the vow which my parents had sworn to the neighbors of our kingdom, which was that I would marry their son once this assembly had finished. And that son, that golden boy, I already knew how he felt about Rhys.

I hadn’t brought up the topic of my marriage since we were eleven, because every single person in his court and mine had instantly begun spreading rumors that we were engaged, or would soon be. And the problems caused by those rumors were still very, very real, even though that had been nearly ten years ago. Absently, I wondered how Rhys would react when I told him, as it wasn’t exactly hidden from public knowledge that when we had been younger, it had been a real possibility that we would one day wed. I wondered if he would be upset, or simply say it was about time I was married. Or, would he become angry, and rage against the deal?

The latter, most likely. In all of the years I’d known him, Rhys had never once agreed with the practice of marrying young girls off. And I knew it weighed heavily on him that one day, soon, the prospect of marriage would be brought up for his younger sister, Stella. Though he had already begun trying to find a way out of it for her.

Absently, I mulled over the possible escape that Elain had told me: to find someone I love, or could stand, of reasonable standing, before our engagement was publicly announced, and there was a chance I wouldn’t have to marry Tamlin. I remembered how when Elain had murmured that to me, my mind had instantly conjured an image of Rhys. I knew all I had to do was ask, and he’d agree, but it was wrong. How could I take the remainder of his life from him, simply because I couldn’t stand my would-be fiance? It was the coward’s way out, and I knew in my heart that unless something major changed, I would be marrying Tamlin Greene.

I wouldn’t mention this to Rhys, because I knew that even if I didn’t tell him of what Elain had said, he would speak of it, and offer himself up. I knew how he hated Tamlin, and I knew how he would fight to keep me away from him, but it would cost him too much. He would risk going to war, his family’s wrath, and his own life. I shuddered at the thought, wrapping my arms around myself.

A hand waved in front of my vision. “Hello? Feyre Darling, what’s running through that pretty little head of yours?”

My head snapped up. “What?”

He chuckled, moving to lean against my column, his shoulder brushing against mine. “You looked a million miles away.” He murmured, shaking his head chidingly. “Now, let’s try this again. Want to go flying?”

Arms dropping to my sides, I grinned and huffed out a laugh. “Wow, seriously?”

Rhys grinned. “I’ve got all the time in the world, Darling.”

My smile faltered. Must be nice.

Looking away, I shook my head. It must be nice to have all the time in the world. To never concern yourself with marriages, and allies, foes and wars. I sighed, twirling a small strand of hair around my index finger. I knew the moment I married Tamlin, this, whatever it was with Rhys, would be gone. A chill ran down my spine at the thought, but still I forged ahead. Tamlin wouldn’t allow me out of his sight, I knew. I clenched my eyes shut, and released a harsh sigh. “Alright, fine. I’ll go flying with you.”

Rhysand instantly grinned, his violet eyes almost glowing as he did a small victory dance in place, that stupid grin turning cocky and arrogant.

I couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled from my lips. “You’re pathetic, Rhys.”

His grin widened. “Only for you, Darling.”

My cheeks burned, so I shoved off the column, and began leading the way down the hall, with Rhys trailing at my heels, murmuring profanities and innuendos. We fell into relative silence as we wound through the corridors, and made our way down to the great lawn.

Again, my mind began to wander. I knew Tamlin likely wouldn’t approve of my friendship with Rhys, and would probably demand that it end. I also knew that if his prior actions were anything close to how he really was, that I would most likely never see my friend again. Elain had spent nearly every night since our parents had informed me of my would-be fiance, warning me of his secret mannerisms, and trying to get me to find another husband.

I knew that she was right, that there was no way I could ever be happy with Tamlin, and that if I were to fall in love, our parents would likely approve the marriage, but I would have to move quickly. The engagement would be announced within the next few weeks, and then there would be no turning back. But still, the only person I could ever fathom marrying was Rhys. But I simply couldn’t do that to him. He deserved so much better than me. And even though I knew he would say yes in a heartbeat, I just couldn’t. This was Rhys, whom I had known my entire life. Rhys, who had always been there for me, who had been my best friend for almost twenty-one years. I just couldn’t ask him to throw the remainder of his life away for me, simply because I didn’t like my future fiance.

Making up my mind, I decided that I wouldn’t bring up this with Rhys. I would enjoy these last few weeks with him, before I became a pawn in the eons old game of our world. I would treasure these last few weeks where we could go and sneak out, do whatever we wished. And I would make these the best weeks of my life.

Rhys nudged my arm, drawing me from my thoughts. I found that we were just out of sight from the servants in the great lawn, our figures obscured by the trees. I looked back to him, and found him grinning that impish grin that he only ever had around Stella and I. “Race you to the bluff,” He said, stepping a few feet away, “I win, and you owe me a favor. You win, favor’s yours.”

I grinned back, and nodded excitedly.

We both crouched down, and Rhys began to count down. “3...2...1...HEY!”

I had taken off before he finished the countdown, laughing impishly. Rhys was shouting profanities after me, and struggling to catch up.

My feet pounded against the forest floor in a hypnotizing rhythmic silence. The late autumn breeze bit at my cheeks, stinging them a rosy pink. At some point, I stopped hearing him crash through the underbrush, shouting obscenities and threats.

When I knew we were long out of earshot from the palace, I let out a cackling laugh, and savored the way my voice echoed off the mountains surrounding the Fae Palace of Autumn. The sun shone through the trees in select places, almost seeming to highlight the subtle beauties of the forest.

Feet rushing over logs and ravines alike, I allowed the worries of my life to be stripped away by the wind, and the ever growing distance from the palace. It felt as if with each step I took, my problems faded, becoming increasingly smaller, until they vanished completely.

Up ahead, I saw our bluff. The trees were different than they had been the last time we came here, when I was thirteen, and Rhys sixteen. I remembered how small and insignificant I had felt, staring over that ledge. The trees had seemed impossibly small, the surrounding mountains reminding me that while I was immortal, my life was fleeting. I remembered how Rhys and I had leapt over that ledge together, plummeting towards those impossibly small trees, until his wings had appeared, and he had scooped me up, as we soared towards the mountains in the distance.

I skidded to a stop, just before the edge, sending a spray of dirt and pebbles over the edge. As always, I felt shivers run down my spine, as my muscles tensed. I almost laughed at how nothing had changed in this forest. The Great Mountain still was barely visible in the distance, the trees acting as a red, golden and green carpet towards that giant, looming rock. Heavy, dark clouds obscured the peak from view.

Suddenly, I felt a presence behind me. Rather than jump, I just calmly glanced back towards Rhys, who was simply taking in the view. His jaw wasn’t set, as it often was in the palace. His shoulders weren’t tensed, and his hands were resting on his hips. Those violet eyes were unguarded, raking over the landscape. My eyes began moving down, and I nearly started at how close we were, a heavy blush warming my cheeks. He was nearly pressed against my back, only a few inches separating us.

At last, Rhys sighed, dragging his eyes away from the view ahead of us. He rubbed at his eyes, as if to wipe away invisible tears. “Wow,” He murmured, at last meeting my gaze, “it looks exactly the same.”

I gave him a soft smile, grateful for the wind giving an excuse to my blush. “I know.”

He only smiled sweetly back, his gaze holding mine for more than a few seconds too long. Then his signature smirk returned. “Ready, Feyre Darling?”

Grinning, I shoved at his shoulder, and paced a few meters away from the edge. “Don’t call me that.” I griped, though there was no malice behind it.

Rhys only grinned, and followed me. “Ladies first,” he teased.

Faltering, I gave him a blank look. “After you, then. I insist.”

Glaring at me, Rhys crossed his arms and shook his head. “That favor’s mine. You know that, right?”

I blanched. “What?!”

He grinned wickedly. “You cheated, therefore, you forfeit the winnings to me.”

I snarled at him, racking my brain for any possible loophole. And when I found none, I called him a foul name. Rhys only smiled, and bowed mockingly.

Annoyance pulsed through me, and I gave him a vulgar gesture , then took off. Unlike before, my feet pounded violently against the rock, echoing off the mountains. As I quickly approached the edge, I took a deep breath, then leaped.

I almost seemed to hover in midair for a few seconds, momentum carrying me further and further from that ledge. Then gravity caught up, and I began to fall, wind whipping violently at my hair and clothes as adrenaline set my heart pounding too hard, it must have been heard back at the palace. The golden-red canopy below was rapidly approaching, but I paid it no attention, my eyes instead trained on Rhys, who had leaped only a second after me. His eyes were trained on mine, as he seemed to tear through the air, growing increasingly closer to me, his powerful wings ripping from his back.

Those strong arms wrapped around me, drawing me tight against him only milliseconds before I would have crashed into the trees. His wings beat powerfully, carrying us up, up, up. Slowly, we began to readjust ourselves, one of my arms coming to wrap around his neck, as he maneuvered an arm underneath my knees, the other winding around my back. My head came to rest on his shoulder, my free arm placed on his chest.

At last, the beats of his wings evened out, coming every few seconds in a relaxing rhythm. I gave him a few moments to relax, and gather his bearings, before I pinched him.

“What the hell was that for?” He blurted indignantly, glaring at me.

I made a sour face. “Cutting it a bit close there, weren’t we?” I said sweetly.

He made a grunting noise, then shifted me roughly. “And?”

I scoffed, slapping his arm. Not enough to hurt, nowhere even close. “I nearly hit the trees!” I griped.

Those violet eyes shifted keenly, a smarmy smirk slithering onto his lips. “Ah, yes. That.” He teased, giving me a fake apologetic look. “Nearly, being the key word there, Darling.”

I squawked indignantly, shaking my head. “Rhysand, you prick-” I started.

“Now, now, Feyre dearest. One bad leap and you’re back to calling me Rhysand?” He gave me a hurt look, pretending he was about to cry. “I’m hurt, I thought we were past that.”

I rolled my eyes. “You’re a prick.”

That smarmy smirk returned. “You love it.”

I couldn’t stop my smile, and allowed my head to once again rest on his shoulder.

After a while, the steady, booming beats of his wings, and the warmth he radiated began to turn my eyelids heavy, and I soon fell asleep in his arms. The rushing of the wind against me, accompanied by Rhys’s arms holding me tight, quickly whisked me off to a land of dreams.

What awoke me was the change in the wind, as Rhys began to angle us downwards, aiming for an open meadow. Unable to stop myself, I let out a yawn, and stretched my arms out as we landed on the grassy knoll. My knuckle brushed against a whorl of his tattoo, peeking out from the collar of his tailored jacket. Rhys glanced down at me, a small smile on his lips. “Well look who decided to join the land of the living,” he teased, murmuring softly.

Blushing, I found it hard to meet his gaze. “I was tired.” I hissed. “I didn’t sleep much last night.” His smile only widened, and he set me down, though I kept that one arm wrapped around his neck, without realizing.

“Oh, really?” He purred, one hand coming to rest on my hip, the simple gesture sending bolts of fire racing through me. I could only nod in response, finding it difficult to meet his gaze. Rhys leaned forward, his breath warming my cold ears. “And what, pray tell, were you doing, Darling?”

My eyes widened, and I shoved him away. “Rhysand!” I snapped, taking a good few steps away. He was bent over, hands braced on his knees, laughing himself hoarse. “You’re a prick!” I grumbled, crossing my arms. He only laughed harder, until he fell over, wheezing like a drowning mole. Then he laid on the ground, cackling and snorting and coughing and wheezing.

After afew minutes, I sat down on the silky grass, crossing my legs beneath me. “Are you quite finished there, Oh High and mighty Prince Rhysand?”

He chuckled, then at last looked over at me. And it felt as if the air had been ripped from my lungs. He was absolutely gorgeous. The sparing rays of sunlight landed just so on his eyes, setting them from a deep violet to something akin to a glowing, midnight flame. His inky hair held an almost otherworldly glow to it. It made my fingers itch for a pen and paper, to capture this.

That smile changed, to something that I didn’t dare try to comprehend.

Instead, I continued studying him, trying to memorize the way the sunlight hit his angled face, how it warmed his skin tone,and amplified his already sharp cheekbones.

“What’re you looking at?” He murmured, moving to prop his head up with one arm.

I nearly chastised him for moving, but stopped at the last second, having decided I liked this angle better. “I’m going to draw you,” I replied, my eyes continuing to rove over his face and shoulders. “This angle suits you.” There was no embarrassment behind my words, no blushing. Rhys knew I loved to draw, knew I had countless sketches of him scattered throughout my small studio back home.

Rhys just kept that soft smile, though it turned slightly wicked, as that glint shone in his eyes. “You know, Darling. I’ve told you many times just how willing I am to model nude for you.”

I only scoffed, rolling my eyes.

The wickedness vanished from his eyes. He held my gaze as he waved one hand, and a sketchbook appeared, a piece of charcoal rolling on top. My eyes nearly bugged out of my head, as I scampered out to take it from him. I didn’t want to decipher what that gleam in his eyes were, or what it could mean for us. So instead, I simply sat cross legged a few feet from him, and began to sketch.

We stayed quiet for a while, with me sketching, and glancing up every few moments, with Rhys just lounging like the lazy cat he was. I chuckled at the thought; Rhys as a lazy cat, and quickly sketched down a rough drawing of a small, black cat sleeping in the sun, then returned to my main drawing. “What’s so funny?” He said, narrowing his eyes playfully.

I chuckled, moving to have a better view of his eyes. “I was just thinking… You’re not that different from a house cat.”

He scoffed, holding my gaze. “How so?”

I gave a small smile. “You purr, sleep in the sun, and are the laziest person I know.”

His jaw dropped. “How dare you.” He hissed in mock offense.

I grinned, shifting to lay on my stomach, drawing now long forgotten. “Am I wrong?” I murmured.

Rhys shifted to mirror my position, our faces only a few inches apart. “You’re gonna pay.”

I Leaned closer, our noses nearly brushing. “Oh, really?”

No sooner had the words left my mouth, than he had pounced, landing gracefully on top of me, knees braced on the ground, as he tickled me. I shrieked in indignance, shoving at him as I cackled, tears streaming down my cheeks. He only paused his torment to lean down. “Apologize.” He murmured in my ear, glaring down.

“Never.” I swore, glaring right back up at him. He made to resume his torment, but I moved too quickly, shifting us to that he was the one pinned down, his wings slamming against the grass with a harsh thunk. I winced, and withdrew slightly. When Rhys didn’t shove me off, I leaned down to snarl in his ear. I pretended not to notice how informal he was around me. Not in regards to manners, but his wings. I knew how important they were to an Illyrian, and what it meant for him to allow me to be so close to them. Then, pinning his wrists down, I whispered, “There’s nothing you can do to make me apologize.” I saw the spark of challenge in his eyes less than a second before he lunged for me, as I dodged him, throwing myself to the side. For a split second, I could have sworn he was blushing madly.

I started laughing, then a heavy weight - Rhys - slammed into me, and sent us rolling down the hill. I swore as a clump of dirt slammed into me, but kept laughing as we rolled, each shoving and lunging at the other, trying to gain the upper hand. Rhys was laughing so loud I was sure they could hear it all the way back in Velaris, but I didn’t care, because he was happy.

We kept our game going, of shoving and tackling and tickling the other, until we rolled down a particularly rough patch of vegetation. I let out a sharp curse as something painful scraped across my back, and I jerked away.

Distantly, I heard running water. Then Rhys began swearing.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit!” Before I could ask, he was shoving me over him, to rest on his chest. His arms held me steadfast as his wings cocooned us in. His forehead pressed into my neck, and over his shoulder, I could just see whirling trees and twigs and leaves and branches as we tumbled roughly down the hillside.

We slammed into something hard, and Rhys let out a sharp grunt, tightening his grip on me, becoming near painful, as we slowed to a stop. He held onto me for a little while longer, before his wings slowly unfurled, and he let out a pained groan, his head thunking onto the sand below us.

I sat up, bracing my knees on either side of his hips as my head spun so wildly I had to put my hands on his chest to keep from falling over. After a few moments, I glanced around. We were a few meters away from a small river, glistening in the sunlight as it trickled over and around stones. My gaze returned to Rhys, who was panting slightly beneath me, his eyes clenched shut. I made to move away, but he quickly stopped me with a hand on my knee. “No, please. Don’t.”

Glaring down, I was about to make a snarky remark about our position, but when I saw his face, the words died on my lips. “Rhys, are you alright?” His eyes were clenched shut, I had thought, from vertigo. But now I could see a single tear sliding from his eye. “Rhys, please, you need to answer me, alright?” My voice was more panicked now, as my hands fluttered worryingly around his head, unsure of what to do.

“I just, j-just need a minute, okay? I’m fine, I swear.”

My heart clenched. “Bullshit, Rhys.” I murmured, allowing one hand to go rest against his cheek. “No, no. Don’t lie. Not to me.” He slowly began to relax, and leaned into my hand. My heart pounded way harder than it should have.

Rhys slowly opened his eyes. “Ngh…my wing, it….shit.”

I nodded, thumb stroking his cheekbone. “Alright, alright just breathe, okay? Where does it hurt?”

He made a gesture with his hand, and I quickly moved off of him, one of my hands going to brace his shoulders, the other going to clasp his hand, helping him to slowly move to a sitting position. Rhys let out a deep groan, clenching my hand so tight that I had to grit my teeth.

Once he was upright, I slowly maneuvered myself behind him, in a low crouch. One hand remaining on his shoulder, holding both of us steady. “Shit.” I breathed, eyes trailing over his wings. Countless cuts and scrapes were raw and bleeding, but that wasn’t what concerned me. It was the joint I could see which was clearly dislocated.

Rhys let out a tight breath. “It’s bad?”

“Could be worse.” I muttered, moving over to the rushing water, and cupping some in my hands. It wasn’t a lie; it could have most definitely been worse, but that by no means meant his injuries were good. I returned to his wings, and carefully dribbled it over the countless cuts, and gently cleaned them of the dirt that had become lodged. The only sign of his discomfort was several, measured breaths. Once that was done, I dried my hands on my pants, and braced them on his shoulders. “This is going to hurt, alright?”

I didn’t miss the intake of breath, or the slight tensing of his shoulders. I prepared myself to reassure him, knowing how sensitive he was in regards to his wings. Knew how difficult it was for him to let anyone be near them, let alone touch them.

He nodded, looking over his shoulder to meet my gaze. “I trust you.”

My throat burned painfully, and my eyes became lined with silver. I cleared my throat, and quickly set about moving the joint back into its proper place. I knew it hurt, hurt like hell. But Rhys was taking it in stride, only letting out a few sharp grunts as I worked. At last, I finished, and sat back on my heels.

No sooner had my hands left his wings, than they vanished with a puff of smoke, and he fell back into my lap, head resting on my thigh. I knew he had sent them off to some pocket dimension to heal, which they could do much quicker there than here. Rhys let out a sharp huff, and wound one arm around my waist, drawing me to rest up against his stomach. We were in a strange circle, his head on my thigh, me leaning against his side, as we had done when we were children. Slowly, I began to relax, and even went so far as to move so that I could use his stomach as a pillow, without disturbing his head.

“Thank you, Feyre.” He said, so quietly I almost didn’t hear it.

“Of course.” I murmured, my eyes trained on the sky overhead. I’d never liked the Autumn Kingdom. It was always just the slightest bit too blustery, too cold. I knew some of our friends, Thesan and Cresseida, agreed. In the past, when the alliance held their meetings here, I had rarely gone outside, because the Autumn kingdom reminded me far too much of a cold spring day. Bile threatened to rise in my throat as I realized that the Spring Kingdom was like this for a majority of the year, only raining. I’d likely rarely ever see a clear sky, let alone a night sky. Tears pricked at my eyes, but I blinked them away, and shoved the intrusive thoughts from my head, only to realize that Rhys was talking to me. His eyebrows were drawn together, his eyes slightly sorrowful.

“...really sorry, Feyre. It’ll heal quickly, but I don’t think I can fly us out tonight. I can’t winnow, either. All of my magic is going towards healing my wings. I’m so, so sorry.”

I gripped his hand tightly, even as dread pooled in my gut. “Rhys, don’t worry about it. Everything will be alright, I can take care of this.” Biting my lip, I internally worried about what would happen back at the palace, as we hadn’t informed anyone where we were going. I sent up a silent prayer that Stella would cover for us.

I glanced warily around us. While there weren’t many creatures worth fearing in the Autumn Kingdom, certainly none so close to the palace, it still wasn’t a good idea to remain out in the open, and risk exposure. My eyes tracked the rhythmic swaying of the trees, the ever shrinking distance between us, and those grey clouds which I now knew to be storm clouds. Roving up the hillside, I quickly scanned back and forth up the mountain. At last, I spotted a small cave part of the way up the hill opposite us, across the river. I decided that I would give him some time to rest, before asking him to begin trekking to that cave.

Shifting, I allowed my head to nuzzle into his stomach, and I gazed up into the sky, savoring the warm rays of sunlight on my face. Almost instantly, his fingers began running through my hair, twisting the strands gently, as he took deep, even breaths. I focused on the sunlight, and his fingers running through my hair, as he breathed evenly. Against my will, my mind began to wander to my would-be fiance, and his court.

How they viewed themselves as above their people, and ruled with an iron fist. I knew that would no doubt extend to me. That by this time next year, I would be married, would be Tamlin’s property. I knew how he treated women, how he controlled them. I would be expected to churn out heir after heir, and be there whenever he wanted to make love. I would be expected to lose myself in him, to give over to his every whim. I was to become his dutiful wife, even if it destroyed me. Never again would I be allowed to run free in the forest, or not care whether there were sticks and brush tangled in the honeyed strands. I would be expected to always look my best, to never have an off day or speak back. I was to become his dutiful, obeying, beautiful, silent, loving, and demure wife.

Something in my chest crunched so viciously it hurt. He would destroy me, in every way and every facet. There would be nothing of me left; he would remold me into his perfect wife, bedmate. He would ruin me and turn me into nothing. And I had no choice.

Elain’s offer rang loudly in my ear: To find someone else, fast. To find someone who Tamlin wouldn’t dare challenge. But the only person he wouldn’t dare go against was Rhysand. And even if I put my worries about ruining him aside, even if I chose to be selfish and save myself, it was no guarantee I would be free. The union would have to be approved by both of our families, and my secret would no doubt be revealed. And so I had no choice.

Looking up, my eyes snagged on Rhys, his calm expression warmed by the sun. Completely unworried and unfazed by the world of palaces and kingdoms we had left behind. “I’m going to miss this.” The words were out before I could stop them, small and scared. I clamped a hand over my mouth, as if that would draw them back in. I watched as his eyes slowly opened, as they searched for me. I watched as they narrowed slightly, as he slowly sat up, never once breaking my gaze.

My breathing quickened, my eyes burning with unshed tears.

“What did you say?”

I couldn’t-couldn’t do this. I didn’t want his pity. I didn’t want to see him freeze, how I knew he would pause, grow still. Internally raging that I was to be given away like a prized dog. It would be easier, so much easier if he found out when the rest of the world did, if he were to assume I was happy with my husband. That this was what I wanted.

And so I leaped to my feet, turning to the side so I could dry my eyes. “Nothing! I didn’t say anything.” I knew better than to look back at him, where he could almost certainly read the lie in my posture alone. Mercifully, he didn’t question me, only giving a small grunt. “Come on.” I said, slipping my leather boots, and socks off, rolling up the cuffs of my pants so that they rested just above my knees. “We need to find shelter, there’s a cave up there.”

I kept several steps ahead of Rhys as we crossed the river, the water bitingly cold against my lower legs. At one point, I had stepped on a slippery rock, and lost my balance. He caught me, drawing me against his chest, his breaths fanning across my face. It was too difficult to look him in the eyes, so I just stared at his collarbone, the outline of which I could see through his shirt. After a few moments, I shoved away roughly, my heart pounding wildly. Frigid water splashed around me, as I stomped across the remaining few meters of the river.

Rhys let out a huff, amusedly watching me furiously shove my shocks and boots on.

I silenced him with a sharp glare.

He held up his hands in mock surrender, smirking.

The simple action set my lower lip trembling, as my eyes filled with tears. I pushed off from the log I had perched on, ignoring his questioning look. I again wiped at my eyes as I began to ascend the hillside. Behind me, Rhys was crashing loudly through the underbrush, no doubt in annoyance. Thankfully, this hill was nowhere near as steep as the one we had tumbled down, little more than a slightly steep incline.

Behind me, Rhys began grumbling to himself. “...females...Who the hell...they’re thinking?...”

A short distance from the cave, I whirled on him, my face burning in anger. “Do you have something to say to me?” He blinked in surprise, eyes going almost comically wide, as he opened and closed his mouth. “No? Then shut up.” Rhys flinched, and I nearly apologized. But I turned, and stormed the rest of the way to the cave, glaring furiously into it, daring anything within to make its presence known.

When nothing did, I waved him forward.

Rhys was panting, his brow glistening with sweat. He made to reach an arm out to me, but I shoved past him, moving to a small crack in the stone. I knelt down, and used my magic to create a small, gurgling stream. Then, I went to the back of the cave, which was maybe four meters from the entrance, and kicked some dried out sticks into a small pile, before lighting them. He carefully moved towards the small pile, eyeing me cautiously, before kneeling down, and warming his hands. I shrugged my jacket off, and threw it down across from him.

I spent the next several hours bringing in any grass and leaves I could find which weren’t too dried out, and putting them into a large pile. After my sixth or so trip to drop off foliage, Rhys at last spoke up. “What are you doing?” His voice was small, cautious. I hated that my words had clearly hurt him so much, but I knew it would be easier for him to believe that I was happy, if he was angry with me.

But I still couldn’t bring myself to snap again. “Gathering things to serve as our beds.”

He swallowed. “Beds, plural?” I nodded, and he licked his lips before continuing. “Um, logistically, wouldn’t it, uh, make more sense to share one?”

I scoffed, throwing down the armload of grass. “Of course you’d say that.” I muttered.

Rhys gave me a withering look. “For warmth, Feyre. Nothing else.”

Sighing, I dropped to my knees, and began to spread out the foliage across the stone floor.

No sooner had I finished that, than it began pouring, the rain coming down so hard and fast that it richocched back up several inches. Rhys managed to scrape enough of his power together to place a small shield over the entrance to the cave. Once that was done, I moved to the corner opposite Rhys, and hugged my knees to my chest, eyes staring unseeingly into the fire.

Rhys tried to make light conversation several times, but I ignored him in favor of watching the twisting flames. After about an hour of tense silence, I pulled my jacket on again, and curled up in a small ball, trying to take up the least amount of space possible on our makeshift bed.

I was running, running as quickly as my feet would allow.

My heart was pounding so hard I thought it would burst, or worse, reveal my location. I crashed through the undergrowth, into a small clearing full of wildflowers. My stomach heaved at the sight. I hated wildflowers, their too-bright colors, and sickeningly sweet scent. He knew this, and yet they were still my wedding gift.

Blood dripped from the raw, gaping wounds on my arm, falling down, down, down, to splatter on a hideous pink rose. My fingers itched for a piece of charcoal, but I knew it would be useless in my hands. I hadn’t drawn in years; it was one of the first things he had demanded I stop. ‘Too messy,’ he said, or ‘too unladylike.’

Distantly, a ferocious roar shook the trees, and my blood turned to ice.

He knew. He knew I had left, and he was coming for me.

Again, I broke into a run. My flimsy pink slippers had long since fallen away, and now my feet were pounding against the coarse dirt and rocks, bleeding with every step.

The roars grew closer, accompanied by thundering footsteps.

I knew this was my only chance, and so I pushed harder, until the air was fire in my lungs and each step and breath felt like I was dying.

The roars turned into huffing, animalistic breaths, and those thundering footsteps sounded from right behind me. Paralyzing fear sent my blood to burning ice, tears streaming freely down my face.

Terror urged me to go faster, but I was ripped back by something agonizing wrapping around my wrists and ankles, cutting into them, and forcing me to the ground on my back. A heavy, suffocating paw slams to the ground, millimeters from my head. I am helpless as a horned wolf snarls down at me. I attempt to clench my eyes shut, anything, anything to escape from this hell.

The creature roars in my face, so deafeningly loud that my ears ring.

Sobbing, I open my eyes to gaze into that of my husband.

The throned vines around my wrists and ankles tighten, blood gushing from the wounds they inflict.

“I warned you, Feyre.” Tamlin snarls at me.

I open my mouth to beg for forgiveness, but a swipe of his paw, and my throat is slit, and I bleed to death.

I awake shrieking, trembling in every limb, my body soaked in sweat. I make to roll over, to move, do anything to assure myself that it was just a nightmare. It is then that I am made aware of the form hovering over me.

I clench my eyes shut, arms coming up to block my face, legs kicking wildly.

Strong hands grip my upper arms, and haul me against a warm, hard chest. I continued fighting and thrashing, until I felt the hands stroking my hair, and recognized that voice. “Feyrefeyrefeyrefeyrefeyrefeyre,” Rhys was murmuring, over and over into my hair.

I stilled, allowing the hot tears to fall.

He held me tighter, cradling me sweetly, as he said my name like a prayer.

Without thinking, my hands wound around his waist to hug him closer, every single part of me burning.

An untold amount of time later, we slowly began to part, and I found my face burning.

Rhys silently shifts us so that he is leaning against the cave wall, with me sideways across his lap.

He still cradles me against his chest, one hand running soothingly up and down my arm, and my breathing begins to even out. After a while, he turns his head to gaze at me, his nose brushing mine. “Do you want to talk about it?”

I shook my head, and pressed my forehead into the crook of his neck. “It was a nightmare.” I whispered. He pressed a kiss to the crown of my head, waiting for me to continue. “I...it was about..about…” My voice cracks, and the tears begin to flow. He rubbed soothing circle on my back. I took several deep breaths, and clenched my eyes shut. “..it was about my fiance.”

He stilled, that hand on my back freezing in place. “Your what.”

I hated the words as soon as they left my lips, and began to untangle myself from him. Rhys simply held me in place, firm enough to keep me still, yet loose enough that I could leave if I wished. I didn’t. I wanted him to hold me, and say that this was all just a bad dream. Again, I allowed him to pull me close, and again I rested my head in the crook of his neck. Taking a steadying breath, I began. “My fiance, Rhys.”

Remaining still, I could feel his slow breathing. I knew he was trying to discern what to feel. “Who?”

I choked on a sob, pushing impossibly closer to him.

Rhys reacted instantly, seeming to wrap his entire being around me. “Oh, Feyre Darling, no, no, please don’t cry.” He murmured, even as I felt his tears on my shoulder. “Please don’t cry, I’ll fix this. I’ll fix this, I promise you.”

I hiccupped, and sniffled. “You can’t.” I whispered.

“I will.” He vowed, running his fingers through my hair.

Pulling back, I braced both of my hands on his shoulders, and firmly met his gaze. “Rhysand, listen to me. I do not want you to fix this, it’s not worth it.” Rhys opened his mouth to protest, but I interrupted him. “It’s too dangerous, and it’s not worth it.”

Rhys stared me down. “Feyre, it is worth it. I don’t care if it kills me, I’ll fix it. You don’t deserve this.”

Fresh tears sprung to my eyes, but I ignored them. “No, no. You don’t understand. It’s too dangerous!” I insisted, begging him to believe me.

Again, he stared me down, then gently began wiping my tears away.

“Rhys,” I began, trying to not savor the way his fingers felt against my cheekbone, “it’s Tamlin.”

Everything froze. The rain outside, the cracking of the fire, Rhys’s heartbeat, his breathing. Everything.

He let out a small whimper, drawing me back against him.

After we parted, he held my face reverently in his hands. The look in his eyes would have brought me to my knees, had I been standing. Even then, I had the distinct feeling of falling as I gazed into his eyes. “Feyre, I do not care what happens to me, whether I live or die. I do not care whether I need to wage a war, or kill him myself. But believe me when I say this: You will not marry Tamlin unless it is your choice, and only yours.”

His words crashed into me with the force of a tidal wave, washing away everything I felt. No, not everything. It washed away everything save for that small, miniscule word that had been echoing in my head for years, since I had first learned of what it meant, that I was too much of a coward to face. Rhys sweetly pushed a strand of hair behind my ear, as he studied my face. “Why?” I rasped, searching his eyes. “W-why would you do this for me?”

Something faltered in his gaze. His hand dropped from my face. “Because we’re friends.” He said monotonously.

I shook my head, my eyebrows drawing together. “No, Rhys. Friendship is...it’s loaning your friend a coat when they’re cold. Not… this. This...you’re threatening to go to war for me. You’re risking your life, your kingdom. Why?”

Rhysand became quiet, simply observing me. Tracking over every feature of my face. I didn’t miss how they lingered on my lips for several seconds too long, before drifting down to where his hands rested on my waist. “Because I care about you.”

Confusion and disappointment lanced through me. “I care about you, too-”

“No, Feyre.” He uttered, shaking his head. “You don’t get it.” At last, he met my gaze again. He took a deep breath, and clenched his jaw. “I care about you. As more than a friend, Feyre.”

My world went silent, save for the roaring that began in my ears. “What?” The word was little more than a gasp.

Another deep breath. “I...I’ve been in love with you since we were kids, Fey.” He murmured, a hand coming up to rest on the back of my neck. “And how could I not? Yo-you’re strong, you’re confident, beautiful. You’re perfect. And I can’t stand the idea of anyone hurting you. The thought of you in pain, it… it’s worse than anything I’ve ever known. Worse than death. And...I understand if you don’t want this. Just say the word, and we’ll pretend that none of this ever happened, a-”

I snapped, tears streaming freely down my face. I closed the distance between us, crushing my lips to his. Rhys was frozen for just a moment, then he held me close. So close it was as if he was trying to mold us into one being. Our lips moved together as if this were a dance they had done since the beginning of time, two star crossed lovers who at last met.

Rhys kept one hand cupping my jaw, the other going to my hip. I plunged my fingers into his hair, and savored the way they glided across my skin. Tugging on the ends, I drew him closer, and moved so that I was partially straddling his lap. That hand on my hip began to drift lower, until it was cupping my behind. Rhys began placing soft, sensual kisses down my jaw, and to my neck. He drifted down to where my coat ended, and pushed it aside, beginning to suck and bite gently on the skin there. I let out a low groan, and my knees gave out. I was now fully straddling him, and it felt like the answer to a question I had asked for my entire life.

I managed to stop his sinful assault, to meet his gaze. I knew I needed to get the words out now, while I still had the courage. “Rhysand…” I began, suddenly finding it so, so difficult to look him in the eyes without grinning stupidly. “I have loved you since the day you strutted into my life. You somehow always put a smile on my face, and I will always be grateful for that.”

His eyes softened, and he kissed me sweetly, softly. “I love you.”

My heart began pounding so hard that he grinned wickedly, leaning forward to kiss me tortuously, his tongue tracing my lips. I opened for him, my arms wrapping around his neck to secure him to me. And my world went white.

He slowly lowered us to the ground, one hand remaining on my hip, the other twining into my hair as he braced himself up with an elbow.

My entire being felt as if it were on fire, zinging with electricity. Rhys pulled away for a split second to look me in the eyes, love and reverence shining clear as day, before pressing several more sweet kisses to my lips. He looked at me as if I were a goddess, made of stars and moonlight, as if I were his greatest treasure. “I love you, so much.” He said, those violet eyes roving over my face. I had lost track of how many times I had seen him do that tonight, as though he was drinking me in.

Again, my heart pounded in response, and he grinned wickedly.

His head dipped down to my collarbone, placing sweet, loving kisses across it, and I couldn’t help my gasp, that hand in his hair tightening its grip. His grin turned even more wicked, and he began to descend lower, pressing kiss after sweet kiss to my ribs, then my stomach, then hips. When he reached the button of my pants, he looked up, eyes seeking permission. Internally, I began to grow nervous, though I didn’t know why. This was Rhys, and he loved me, respected me. So why was I nervous?

Whatever he saw in them had him nodding slightly, and kissing his way back up to my lips. I made to kiss him again, but he stopped me with a gentle hand on my shoulder, rolling over to lay beside me. “Hold on,” He chuckled, grinning as I pouted, “I want to say something.”

My face again grew hot, and I hid my face in his chest. “I’m sorry,” I groaned, hating the embarrassment cascading through me, “I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I just-”

Hands caressed my back. “Hey, no, no. Look at me, Feyre, please.” I don’t know what I expected, but it was the opposite of what I found. He wasn’t smiling, but he wasn’t angry. If anything, he looked concerned. Resting a hand on my waist, he said, “You said no, and you don’t owe me an explanation. You decided that you weren't ready, and I respect that. It’s your body, therefore your decision.”

My lower lip began trembling, and I threw my arms around him again. “Thank you, Rhys.”

He held me tightly, enough so that I could feel his smile against my neck. “Of course, Darling.”

“I love you,” I whispered, feeling Rhys tense, then his grip tightened on me. Hot tears again soaked through my shirt, and so I held him as he sobbed, murmuring into his hair how much I loved him. His breathing remained uneven for a long while, breaths coming in gasps and pants. I only held him tighter, trying to communicate my love through that.

I don’t know how long we stayed like that, wrapped up in each other, until we fell asleep listening to the other’s heartbeat, but it was long enough for the fire to burn out, and the sun to rise just over the trees. It wasn’t until our stomachs began to grumble viciously, that we at last began to stir.

Rhysand was the first to stand, stretching his arms above his head, and groaning. I could only clench my teeth, and continue lacing up my boots, even as my face flushed. He noticed this, leaning down to press a surprisingly hesitant kiss to my lips, his normally wicked grin slightly off. “Something bothering you, Feyre Darling?”

My blush deepened. “No?” I stammered, my face absolutely burning.

That grin softened, and he reached out to stroke my hair. “Are you alright with breaking camp so I can go stretch my wings?”

I fought the urge to point out that there was no camp to break, and nodded, smiling tightly.

Rhys gave me a grateful nod, and murmured, “I love you, Feyre.” before striding out of the cave.

Shaking my head, I idled around the cave, kicking at the remains of the fire, and scattering the leaves of our makeshift bed around, and flopping down to lean against the wall. I stared at my hands, not really seeing them. What was going on? Why was he suddenly closed off? I thought back to everything that had happened last night, and couldn’t think of anything I had done to upset him. When we had fallen asleep, Rhys seemed happy. But now, he seemed more withdrawn. Almost anxious. Glancing up, I was surprised to find that nearly an hour had passed. I knew that the longer we stayed out, the harder it would be for Stella to cover for us.

I clambered to my feet, and made my way out to the front of the cave. Glancing around, I was surprised to find that I didn’t see Rhys anywhere. After a few minutes of looking around, I spotted him leaning against a large rock, turned partway away from me.

Slowly, I began meandering towards him.

Only when I was a few steps away did Rhys realize my presence. He jumped slightly, whirling to face me. “Feyre!” He exclaimed, quickly swiping several tears from his face. “Darling, what are you doing?”

My eyes lingered on the tear-tracks, glistening in the sun, debating whether or not I should ask. “I was just coming to tell you we should leave soon.” I didn’t ask why he had been crying.

When he turned to check on the position of the sun, I got a full view of him, the Prince of Darkness, and his glorious wings. Something in my chest snapped, and I thought something had ripped every last shred of oxygen from my being. One hand flew up to grasp at my throat, as the other lashed out wildly, trying to find something to brace myself on.

Rhys was instantly in front of me, hands on my shoulders to steady me, saying something. Trying to get my attention.

But I didn’t notice, didn’t see, didn’t hear, didn’t feel anything other than the word clanging through my very soul: Mate, mate, mate, he is your mate. He is your other half, your equal. He is your mate.

My breaths began to come faster and faster, in increasingly heavier pants, as I struggled to get any air.

Slowly, the world began to come back to me, as if everything I knew hadn’t been turned on its head. I focused on Rhysand, to find that he was cupping my face, trying to coax me to breathe. Looking at him, good god it hurt. It felt like he was simultaneously my destruction and my salvation. Everywhere he touched burned, burned with electricity coursing through my veins.

Somehow, I managed to hold up a hand, and somehow Rhys knew what I meant, taking a step back. I inhaled deeply, finally able to breathe. I clenched my eyes shut, trying to clear my head of the burning and roaring, and Rhys. Everything was Rhys, all I could see, smell, hear. I could taste him, my lips tingling with the phantom whispers of our most recent kiss. I blocked everything out, gulping down air as quickly as I could, until I felt close to normal again.

At last, I managed to look Rhys in the eyes without immediately feeling as if I was about to combust. “Y-you…you’re my mate.” I managed, the words feeling strange on my tongue.

Rhys only nodded, his forehead becoming beaded with sweat. “I know, Feyre. And you’re mine.”

Confusion lanced through me, and I pushed off the rock. “What do you mean ‘you know’?”

Then realization slammed in to me: He had been crying. Had… had that been related to this?

“Last night,” He answered quickly, “before we fell asleep, you said you loved me.”

So it had been related.

I nodded, remembering how he had reacted, and forced myself to meet his gaze. From the look in his eyes, Rhys looked as if he felt the same way I did, his eyes nearly glowing. I licked my lips. “What now?” I whispered. “What do we do?”

His eyes tracked that, darkening hungrily. He took a step forward, one hand bracing himself against the stone. Our chests pressed together, he pushed a strand of hair aside, and leaned down to murmur in my ear, “So, so many things to choose from, Darling.”

I gasped, one hand going to his shoulder, as his lips made contact with my neck. If I had thought his kisses last night were incredible, these...these were absolutely world ending. Every single part of me burned, yearning to feel more of him, touch more of him.

When he finally pulled back, I wasted no time in flipping us, mindful of his wings, and pinned him to the stone wall. I was pleased to find him blushing, that tan skin beautifully reddened. Giving him my best imitation of his smirk, he let out a whimper, eyes fluttering shut.

Then I kissed him, and the world exploded in stars.

I lost track of how long we kissed, and returned to my body to find that Rhys had buried his fingers in my hair. I pulled back, studying him. His pupils were blown wide, lips parted and swollen, blushing madly as he panted. Even though I likely looked much the same, I grinned, and attached my lips to the underside of his jaw. He let out a muffled groan, his head falling back against the stone. I continued working down his jaw, until I reached his ear.

Teasingly, I bit at the skin below to see how he would react. He moaned, that hand in my hair tugging, tugging, tugging. Then I moved to his wings, drawing a nail against it, or pressing sweet, fluttering kisses to the most sensitive parts. Rhys became putty in my hands, his eyes clenched shut as I worked him.

At last, we parted, and he stared me in the eyes, trying to convey so, so many things.

“What now?” I said, echoing my previous question.

That wicked smirk I loved so much finally returned. “I’ll tell you this, Darling.” He said, thumbs drawing sweetly back and forth on my sides. “There is no way in hell you’re marrying Tamlin.”

“No,” I agreed, smiling softly, “I’m not.”

“That’s because you’re marrying me.”

All those years, all those days, crashed into me. Feyre Darling. He had been trying to tell me… All those years, mating bond or no, he planned to marry me. Rhysand Darling, Feyre Darling. How had I never realized it? He had been hinting his feelings, his love. Over twenty years of murmured endearments, teasing declarations of adoration, and reassuring touches. It had all been real.

And so I looked up to him, my mind utterly clear, and murmured, “Yes I am, my darling Rhys.”

His eyes softened, and his lips parted. He smiled that sweet smile that was so utterly him, and kissed me tenderly, murmuring countless times, “I love you, I love you, my Darling Feyre, my mate, my world.”

Just like that, deep in the woods of a foreign kingdom, I was home.

“I love you, Rhys. More than anything.”

I had my mate, and that was all I needed.

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fleckcmscott · 4 years ago

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To Have and To Hold

Summary: Y/N makes an oversight at work. The resulting extra hours with Arthur delight them both.

Warnings: Swearing, Smut

Words: 4,272

A/N: This story had been kicking around in my head for about two months, but I hadn’t been sure if I was going to write it. Then I read @sweet-nothings04‘s amazing Hand-in-Hand (which you all need to check out, if you haven’t), and knew I had to put it on paper. Thanks to her for the inspiration to finally develop this, and for the title, too!

If you have any thoughts or questions, please comment, feel free to message me, or send me an ask. Requests for Arthur and WWH are open!

Perhaps it was the sunshine that stirred her. Or the horns of traffic on congested streets. The hammering of a distant construction site. The chatter and occasional yelling of passersby. The hum of Gotham awakening.

Y/N blinked in confusion - how could it be so bright this early? - and squinted at the clock at Arthur's side of the bed. No numbers greeted her, just its blank, plastic display. Stretching, she reached to her left for her watch, in its spot by the beige rotary phone on the nightstand.

"Shit!"

Nearly knocking over her glass of water, she clambered off the mattress. Arthur had warned her the lights could go off in his apartment. Not often and not for long. But enough to annoy. Naturally, his building's shoddy electricity had to mess with the alarm today. When she'd stayed up too late. When he'd had to leave ahead of her to commute to the other end of the city for a rare winter gig. When her body had chosen to oversleep in the coziness of his blankets.

Her nylons had never been yanked on with such haste. Arthur had made coffee but she skipped it in favor of brushing her teeth. Pausing on her way out, she took a calcium supplement and grabbed a note from the counter. She read it while riding the wood-paneled, graffiti covered elevator: "Your presentashin will be great. You snored a lot. Good thing your cute. - Arthur." He always signed his name. As though she wouldn't recognize his scrawl. As if anyone else wrote her sweet, sassy missives. She grinned until she hopped on the for-once punctual subway.

The presentation he'd referred to was set for that afternoon. She was expected to discuss the evidence and court file for this week's contested hearing. Last night, she'd sat at Arthur's breakfast bar to compile the case's final details and finish prep sheets. Gently, she'd rebuffed his subtle advances. His attempts to draw her attention from work to him.

Excitement had been palpable as he'd hovered near her. She was fairly certain she knew the cause because it enthused her as well. In three and a half short weeks, he'd be moving in with her. They'd officially begin traversing whatever the future held for them together. Hesitation had been clear in his posture, his drawn shoulders when (after plenty of convincing on her part that yes, she really, really, wanted him) he'd finally accepted the key to her place. But since he'd added it to his own keyring, he'd brightened. Strode a little taller. Walked a little prouder. Touched a little bolder. As though the weight he carried had lessened, at least by a couple cinder blocks' worth.

At his slight pout, she'd decided to find a way to involve him. He'd perched on the stool next to her, rested his cigarette in the pink ashtray to the left, and taken the proffered exhibit stickers with a quirked brow. Y/N had handed him papers, which he'd added labels to for her to write on. Then she'd stacked them in four different piles according to type. It had taken longer than usual - she was faster alone. But the intimacy of sharing the professional elements of her life with Arthur (besides the office wear he liked, claiming it showed how "smart" and "pretty" she was) had tightened her chest. And the curved-up corner of his thin lips had reflected how pleased he was, too.

They hadn't been able to collaborate on everything, however. It was past midnight by the time she'd joined Arthur, who had retreated to the bedroom an hour or so earlier. He'd been sitting against the headboard, half under the cover. The harsh blue light emanating from the old black and white TV at the foot of the bed had sharpened his features. Deepened the set of his eyes. He'd stubbed out his smoke as she closed the door. "I taped The Honeymoon Game. We can watch it when you're here again." A beat. "If you're not busy."

"This is supposed to be my last big project for a month or so." Sighing, she'd gotten her nightgown from her overnight bag. "I didn't mean for it to take all evening." She climbed in next to him and threw her arm across his lap. "I'm sorry."

He'd been stiff. Unyielding. The telltale signs he was miffed or upset. But he'd twined her hair around his finger, let his touch fall to her brow bone. "It's okay," he'd said lowly, adjusting to lie alongside her. "I don't want to be... I'm not being fair."

"You don't have to pretend with me, Arthur. It's all right to be annoyed." Tiredness had pulled at her as she'd fought to watch the rest of Gotham Tomorrow Tonight. The contact of his socked toes to her bare ones had made her smile, though, and she'd nuzzled his bicep. "I missed you," she'd mumbled, then promptly passed out.

The squeal of wheels on metal tracks prompted her to sling her canvas tote onto her shoulder. Shaw & Associates was a short sprint from the nearest station. She was certain she looked ridiculous, running down the street in her high heels. But she managed to slip into the office with two minutes to spare. Once she poured herself a cup of joe and straightened her blazer, she settled in her cushioned chair to get started.

It was only when Matt told her he wanted to meet before lunch that she'd rummaged in her bag. And realized she'd neglected to bring the file. Recalled it was sitting on Arthur's kitchen counter.

Fuck.

Her nails tapped the wood surface of her desk. Excusing herself to the bathroom so she could go retrieve it wouldn't fly. Matt would send a search party. She could try to discuss everything from memory, tell him documents were still being gathered. But he wasn't that oblivious. She settled on owning her error. "It's at home." Her delivery was nonchalant.

He waited until she'd loaded her typewriter with paper, then responded wryly. "You're not supposed to take files home anymore. Remember what happened last time?"

She leaned back as he stepped in front of her. "There was the slew of family cases that came in. With Patricia on leave, I'm handling all our calls and mail. Not to mention paperwork on her filings. It wouldn't have gotten finished if I hadn't taken it." Snorting, she shook her head at herself. Heat bloomed in her neck. "Not that it matters when I don't have it."

Expression softening, Matt stuck his hands in his pockets and jutted his chin at her. "How long did you work on it?"

It was hard to discern if he actually cared about the hours she put in. Or if he merely wanted to gauge the possibility of her doing investigations off the books again, something he'd explicitly prohibited. "I don't know." She waved dismissively. "Three or four hours?"

He let out a huff. "You put in enough time already. Go home at noon. We'll get to it first thing tomorrow."

"I have a lot to do." Her eyes widened at the myriad piles of folders laying around. "And I can't imagine you playing operator."

"I've managed when you've both been in court or at appointments. Besides," he continued as he headed back to his office. "You never take days off."

Straightening, she wheeled her chair to watch him plop down on his leather seat. "I'm taking three days next month," she countered.

His glare contained an unequal mix of mirth and consternation. "Y/N?"

The phone started ringing. She succeeded in making one ear ignore it. "Yes?"

"I know you haven't forgiven me for that whole Renew Corp. thing." She flinched at the casual mention of the company she loathed. Of her failure. But she forced herself to listen. Matt picked up a pen and started writing. “Rather than being stubborn, try saying, 'You're right.'"

~~~~~

Y/N stood in front of the narrow, white stove, stirring the soup she'd thrown together using bouillon, carrots, onions, and pasta. Ingredients she'd found in Arthur's kitchen. Music poured, at a respectable volume, from the radio on the windowsill. Swaying out-of-time, she added a sprinkling of black pepper, one of the only three spices he had (along with powdered garlic and salt). Wearing a content smirk, she sampled the steaming broth.

When she'd left the office, she'd been frustrated at herself. Yes, she was human. Everyone made mistakes. But she wasn't the forgetful type. Particularly if someone was depending on her. However, as she'd stopped in Burnley for another change of clothes, hopped on the train to Otisburg, and pictured Arthur's reaction to finding her in his home instead of having to call to wish her sweet dreams, her disposition had improved. Not only would he have her for an extra night. He'd get a late lunch, too.

The click of the deadbolt and clank of his keys on the entrance table came the second she turned off the stove. She listened to his heavy exhale as his bag dropped to the floor and shut the door. In her peripheral vision he froze, then approached tentatively. She reveled in his delicate hold on the dip of her waist, the peck he planted on her cheek. The smell of greasepaint wafted to her nose. "I hoped I hadn't made this up," he sighed with what sounded like relief. "But your meeting."

She angled herself towards him, gaze roving over his red and blue plaid blazer. The painted-on smile. His irresistible brown curls, mostly flattened by the wig he'd worn. Fidgeting with the petals of the squirting flower on his lapel, she scrunched up her face. "This morning went to shit." She explained the power outage, the clock, her own stupidity at leaving the file in his apartment. "I've packed it. Don't worry."

His posture grew pensive. "Sorry. Maybe- Maybe we should have stayed at your place. Your building's better."

Him thinking her error was somehow his fault had to be nipped in the bud. "No," she said. "You asked to make more memories here before we move in together. I'm happy to do that."

He paused, long enough she could have sworn she'd heard the gears in his head grinding. "Are you in trouble?"

Not unexpectedly, he had put together her mistake and her early dismissal from work and assumed the worst. "If I wasn't fired for trying to stop the Waynes, it's going to take more than an oversight to get me thrown out on my ass." Her brow furrowed. She sneaked a hand under his jacket and placed her palm on his chest. "I just hate that I wasted last night for nothing."

Soft lips, slightly sticky with red paint, grazed her temple. "It's okay," he said. "You're here now. And I got to help you."

The balm of his kindness loosened her rigid stance. His zeal to assist her, to ask questions, to learn about every aspect of her branded her heart completely. She leaned into him, kissed the squishy fold of skin under his chin, and nudged his ribs. "Food's ready. Go change. I want to hear all about your day."

Arthur emerged from the bathroom within minutes, clad in his worn, blue house pants and toweling his hair. Dimples were on constant display while they ate. The glint in his eyes was the one he usually had if his act or a job had gone particularly well, if he was pleased with himself. Was the one starting to be an almost weekly occurrence. Was the one that made his green eyes sparkle and caused her stomach to flip. He inched closer to her with every sentence.

The kids at the new children’s medical center had liked Carnival, he said. They hadn’t minded that he’d "filled in" for Gary. The magic tricks had all gone without a hitch, and the clinic had provided the balloons, which was a savings. The nurses and doctors had been nice; they’d even asked for his card. He’d had to provide a slip of paper with his address and telephone number instead. But he was sure he’d be invited to perform again. And he asked Y/N for help writing Gary a thank you note for the referral, claiming, “You’re better at that than me.”

“You’re the one who journals every day.” Her bowl and spoon clattered in the sink. “And your letter to me was beautiful. Just let me proofread it.”

Soon they were reclined on the sofa, sharing the flat pillow he’d used when he’d had no choice but to sleep there. The tape he’d recorded yesterday was playing. The Honeymoon Game had been a casual watch before, he’d explained. Not a nightly ritual like Murray. Given that he had a girlfriend and was a boyfriend himself, it had become fun to view.

She was only half-focused on the TV’s talking heads. Her mind was drifting to moving day, which filled her with gladness. She examined the plaid walls, the white cream color ceiling, the knick-knacks strewn about in the glow of the setting sun. The lantern with an owl hanging in the corner; the green, plastic drawers by the television; the curio cabinet... They were all a part of 8J, but assuredly not a part of him. How much would he be bringing with him, she wondered. And what would he be leaving behind?

“With one sugar and a shot of milk.” Arthur’s lively voice broke through her contemplation. Ah. He was reacting to the questions posed to the contestants, and making the answers about her, as he was wont to do.

She nestled back into the pleasant warmth of his firm frame. “Three sugars,” she replied, confirming she knew how he took his coffee. They continued to play along, with him showing off everything he’d memorized about her, and her replying with what she’d gathered about him.

Eventually, he shifted behind her. Raised himself on his elbow. “How did you know you loved me?”

Her hum was soft. Short. Possible responses were multitude. She’d suspected she could fall for him early on. When he’d wanted to repay her for doing what anyone should have done on the subway. And the first time he’d had the courage to call her after they’d split a slice of pie, his slight stammer revealing his nervousness. Maybe she’d say it was how slowly he’d drunken his wine during dinner, initially squinting as he sipped, his inexperience with alcohol obvious.

But she chose to go with what she believed was truest. What she assumed he’d hear most keenly. “Before we slept together, I hadn’t been with anyone for four years. And even then, it was different.” His hand splayed on her abdomen, thumb dragging along the waistband of her green leggings. A delightful ache flared in her center. “When I woke up, I felt perfect.”

“You felt like you were perfect?”

“No, silly,” she laughed, batting his forearm. “I knew I hadn't made a mistake. I reached out to your side, first thing - I’d thought of it that way, even then.” At the sensation of his hardening shaft against her rear, she giggled. “You’d made me so happy. You always do. I wanted to you to bed me again.”

The round tip of his nose skimmed her cheek, and she shivered at the dip of his fingers into her panties. “I want to again,” he rasped, paraphrasing her. The grind of his length was making her light-headed, and she twisted her torso to look at him. “I’ve been thinking about it.” Cheekbones glowing, he averted his eyes. “Ever since I woke up.”

“My monthly started,” she said regretfully. His descent halted, and a groan of frustration left him as he lowered his forehead to her shoulder. She mused. While he was becoming more apt to say what he desired, it happened rarely. But she loved it and didn’t want to discourage him from letting himself be assertive. Would he be offended by her suggestion? “I freshened up before we laid down. I have a tampon in. There are other things we can do.” She pressed her lips together, hoping she didn’t sound presumptuous. “If you’re comforta-“

“I’m comfortable.” His mouth quickly claimed hers, opening on a sigh. The tip of his tongue laved at the seam of her lips, and his messy enthusiasm made her whimper. Leaving a scorching trail in its wake, his hand traversed to her upper leg, gliding over the crease where her thigh and vulva met.

Shallow breaths caressed the nape of her neck, stoking the heat threatening to consume her. But the studio audience blaring from the television’s mono-speaker kept wresting her out of her haze. She snatched the VCR remote from the coffee table and hit the pause button.

The tease of his fingertips at her dark curls caused the peaks of her breasts to stiffen. She gasped as the rough fabric of her sweater dragged along them. His fore- and ring fingers spread her outer lips and she shuddered. The leisureliness of his fondling didn’t detract from its intoxicating effect.

Though it was a tad rough. “You’re kinda dry. Hold on.” Swiftly, he brought his hand to his mouth and wet his fingertips. Y/N blinked at him. It was clear he thought nothing of it, which shouldn’t have been a surprise, considering he’d confided he liked going down on her. Still. Seeing this normally reserved man improvise so he could pleasure her made her center throb with need.

Y/N was doing her damnedest to get her leggings and underwear down. Arthur snorted at her spirited, failed attempt at kicking them away. “It’s okay,” he chuckled, pushing them off her ankles with his foot. Then his touch fluttered at her swollen folds. She arched into him, already feeling as though she would burst. Bent at the knee, her leg lifted until her foot was flat on the couch cushion, allowing him easier access. He took advantage, sweeping forward and back along the rigid line of her engorged clitoral hood. She rolled towards him subtly, her moans getting louder with each tap to her sensitive nub.

Still holding himself up, he cradled her head. "Your sounds make me crazy," he said lowly. Once his hips started following hers, faintly rutting against the flesh of her backside, she closed her eyes. Hurriedly, she reached behind her to yank at his pajamas. "What?" he asked.

"I want to feel you," she whispered. There was a huff and some fumbling. And moments later his cock was settled at the cleft of her bottom. She bit her lip, savoring the weight of him. God, he felt wonderful.

His fingertips whispered over her clit, daring to follow the edge of her inner labia. She heard him gulp. "How does it feel when we're together? When- When I'm in you?"

"Warm. Full. Like you belong there," she replied with a smile. That last part of her response must have been unexpected, given that his grazes ceased and he trembled. "Don't stop," she whined, placing her hand on his. "Please, Arthur. You know just how to touch me."

Groaning, he started anew, deftly swiping quicker and quicker. The undulations of her pelvis hastened unevenly, begging both for release and for their coupling to last forever. She ran her palm up her torso, kneading her breast and plucking at her nipple. He nuzzled at her ear, grunting low in the back of his throat. Winding her fingers into his loose waves, she tugged lightly. Her belly twitched. Her whole frame tingled.

His skillful touch. The love they had for one another. The noises he was making in the crook of her shoulder. They all combined to throw her over the edge, and a wave of pleasure crashed through her. She cried his name brokenly, feeling empty without him inside her. But he kept holding her, guiding her through the crests of her climax. She was gasping, struggling to suck in air. Surely, she thought, he could detect the thundering of her heart against her ribs.

Gradually, the quivering grip she had on his locks eased. The kisses he planted on her neck were open-mouthed, desperate. And he hadn't halted the ardent movements of his hips. Y/N turned onto her other side. Gazing at him, she raked his curls out of his face, caressed his cheekbone with her knuckles. His look was hungry, darkened with need. The creases between his brows deepened as her hand trailed through the sparse dusting of hair on his chest.

There was a youthful charm to this situation, she considered. To them craving each other but not completely joining. It reminded her of being a teenager. When she'd been curious and horny, but nervous and not quite ready to go "all the way" with her ex. Being with Arthur allowed her to do all that again. To relive those experiences, to explore and make discoveries with him. To fall further in love with him daily.

She tenderly pecked the freckles at the top of his sternum, nestled against the notch above his clavicle. "I'm lucky to have you."

He didn't miss a beat, even as she trailed past the ticklish spots on his flank. "I'm luckier."

"I disagree." She outlined the slender muscles of his stomach, the v-lines leading to his cock. Played with the springy, brown curls at the base of him. "Without you, I'd only have my work. Which was enough before. But not now." After a moment, she concluded she was being sappy. She had to change it up. "And I wouldn't be having the best sex of my life."

Clearly flustered, he muffled his laugh. "Really?" His blush was prominent, his grin ecstatic.

"Really." Groans short and sudden, he rocked into her touch when she encircled his ample girth. Her fingers danced along his shaft, marveling at the contrast of his velvety skin with how hard he was. Pumping up and down, she tugged at him, trying to match the speed of his thrusts. He nudged his nose to hers, gazing at her before his hooded eyes flitted to watch what she was doing. Then she looked, too.

The sight of him fucking into her hand made her dizzy with want, even though he'd just gotten her off. The crimson, swollen head glistened, slick beading generously at the tip. Y/N licked her lips and spread it around him with the pad of her thumb. Moaning sharply, he bucked harder. Her motions quickened, flicking repeatedly at the notch on the underside.

Demand was implicit in the grasp he had on her upper arm. And it strengthened as his hips' stuttered, becoming unpredictable. Ragged pants hit her face. "I'm- I'm gonna make a mess.”

"It's all right," she soothed. Keeping ahold of him, she lay on her back. He followed and settled on top of her. Whimpering her name, he rubbed himself against her labia. But she gently pushed him onto his knees and continued palming him, her fingers teasing the ridge on his erection. It wouldn't take long to make him come. She could see it in the clench of his jaw, the tightening cords in his neck, his abrupt, needy cries...

Plunging forward, he held himself in place, grunting, clutching her urgently. His release hit her abdomen, warm and wet, and she gasped, her body curving up towards him. The feel of him spilling onto her couldn't completely distract her, though. Not from the beauty of his parted lips. Not from the relief that gradually spread across his features. Not from the slackening of his muscles as tension ebbed.

Sweat had gathered on his forehead. A droplet ran from the end of a dark brow to his jawline. Then he kissed her, his mouth groping at hers. "I love you," he said. He gave her one last peck and sat up on his knees. Holding onto the arm of the sofa, he retrieved her underwear from the floor and wiped her belly off. "That was fun." He tucked his chin bashfully.

"I concur." She entwined their hands and sat, then stretched as she pushed herself to stand and walk to the bathroom. The washcloth he'd designated as hers hung on the hook by the towels. She cleaned herself, listening as Arthur started the show again.

A new round of questions was just beginning. "When you and your spouse first met," the host started, "what was your first impression?"

Arthur's answer was instant. "Nice."

Y/N said the first thing that came to mind. "Handsome."

She popped her head out of the room to find him leaning on the entrance of the short corridor, beaming at her with hitched giggles. He was probably waiting for his turn to clean up. Like he normally did. But she couldn't stop herself from staring at him. Loving eyes met hers and his brows lifted expectantly. "Yes?"

Smiling, she wrung out the washcloth and put it back in its place. She stepped to him with a smile and smoothed his hair back. The rush of happiness in her soul, one she wasn't even sure she had, enamored her. Not only at what they'd shared on his old, scratchy sofa. But at Arthur being Arthur. At knowing soon she'd get to sleep next to him every night. Build a life with him, one she hadn't dreamed of even six months ago. Nothing she could say seemed adequate. So she went with a kind gesture, one she knew he'd appreciate. "I'll make us some decaf. And I love you, too."

~~~~~

Tag list (Let me know if you want to be added!): @harmonioussolve @howdylilflower @sweet-nothings04 @stephieraptorr @rommies @fallenstarsabyss @gruffle1 @octopus-plasma @tsukiakarinobara @arthur-flecks-lovely-smile @another-day-in-chuckletown @hhandley80 @jokerownsmysoul @mrscarnival

#arthur fleck #arthur fleck fanfic #arthur fleck x reader #arthur fleck x female reader #arthur fleck smut #arthur fleck x ofc #joker 2019 #watchwhathappens

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punchdrunkdoc · 4 years ago

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Updated K-Drama list (8)

After almost a year of watching KDramas, I’ve finally found a show that has knocked CLOY off the top spot!

The GREAT:

1. Its Ok To Not Be Okay - NEW ENTRY

A children’s author with antisocial personality disorder becomes obsessed with a handsome (but closed-off) carer in a mental health hospital.

I could (and already have) written loads about this show - it became my all-encompassing obsession for the 8 weeks it was on telly. I LOVE IT SO MUCH!! I had a feeling only 1 episode in that it might become my all-time favourite K-drama, and I was right. The quality never dropped for a moment, and it absolutely nailed the ending.

I pretty much love everything about it - the whimsical, fairytale-esque tone, the music, the costumes, the supporting characters, the side plots exploring different mental health issues, the humour, the set design, even the opening credits!

The two leads are so beautiful with SO MUCH chemistry that you could watch them read a phone book and it would be hot. But it became a real three-hander of a show, with the male lead’s autistic brother forming an integral part of the relationship dynamic.

Honestly, I can’t do this show justice with such a short review - just WATCH IT!!

Male lead: Soooo handsome, quiet and compassionate but with a steel core; it’s so fun watching him come out of his shell. Actor also seen in (AASI): My Love from a Star (honestly, he didn’t make much of an impression in that show, but he was amazing in this - he conveys so much emotion with the most subtle facial movements)

Female lead: Absolutely fascinating; so wounded and vulnerable, but projecting this awesome, no-fucks-given, blunt-as-hell exterior. Actress also seen in (AASI): Lawless Lawyer, Hwarang (minor character)

2. Crash Landing on You

He’s from North Korea. She’s from South Korea. They never should have met, but they’ll change each other’s lives.

This was my first K-drama, and although it’s been knocked off the top spot, it’s still fantastic. Its the full package - the entire cast of characters is great, the lead romance is ANGSTALICIOUS and its genuinely, laugh out loud funny (when its not making you cry or swoon). I’ve since discovered that they had a North Korean defector as a consultant working on the show, so apparently the NK scenes are fairly accurate which is SUPER interesting.

Male lead: Officially the best boyfriend ever - absolutely nails the small, romantic gestures. AASI: Hyde, Jekyll & Me.

Female lead: Smart, sassy, and funny. I love her.

3. Healer

The lives, and pasts, of a hot shot reporter, a spunky young tabloid journalist and a mysterious thief-for-hire intersect.

I ADORE this show and its so rewatchable. The plot was tight and engaging, and this is one of the few shows I’ve watched where there didn’t seem to be a lot of filler. The central 3 characters are great, and the romance was amazing. I especially loved that the male lead started off such a brooding loner, but he became super-affectionate as soon as he admitted his feelings. So many good hugs and lots of face-cradling in this one. There’s also a great riff on the Superman/Clark Kent dynamic which was fun!

Male lead: Effortlessly beats up 2 henchmen while comforting his girl over the phone. What more do you need? AASI: The K2, Suspicious Partner, Melting me softly, Backstreet Rookie

Female lead: She doesn’t let her vulnerabilities stop her from getting the story or being with the man she loves. AASI: What’s wrong with secretary Kim, I’ll go to you when the weather is nice, Her private life

4. Itaewon Class

A young man’s life is forever altered when he runs afoul of a powerful family.

This felt like a big step up in quality from everything else in this list, in terms of the production, soundtrack (which was brilliant), the lack of annoying sound effects, and just the overall ‘real world’ feel of the show. All of the characters were fleshed out and 3-dimensional, and they all had their ‘moment’ to shine. The story itself was gripping and so well done - some of the twists and reveals had me gasping! And what can I say about the 2 leads? I love them, both separately, and together. He is so wise beyond his years, and his journey will break your heart and inspire you. She is borderline sociopathic, but I adore her.

Male lead: Tenacious, principled, kind, innocent, caring, driven, loyal…and he can cook! AASI: What’s wrong with secretary Kim, Fight for my way, Hwarang

Female lead: One of the most original Kdrama female characters I’ve seen. Plus she retains her agency all the way through, which is (unfortunately) not always the case with these shows.

5. W - Two worlds

A surgeon gets sucked into the world of her father’s webtoon when the main character’s life is threatened.

This was a WILD ride! The first 4 episodes barrelled through plot at an amazing rate and certain events happen in episode 5 that had me wondering how the show could even continue! But it did…and the plot just got more insane! I loved this show SO much. It kept me guessing, had me on the edge of my seat, and even had room for some of my favourite romance tropes. The central relationship was great, and (because of the insane plot) you basically get 2 love stories for the price of 1. I’ve already watched this whole show again, which is why I’ve bumped it up the ratings a bit!

Male lead: Just a really, really cool guy. Can’t think of how else to describe him! Always in control, calm, unflappable, analysing the situation….but he can break out the cocky charm when needed. AASI: While you were sleeping, Doctor Stranger

Female lead: I really liked her - she had more agency than a lot of other female heroines and I really related to her freaked-out panic in the beginning when she didn’t feel like she was a capable enough doctor to save a life.

6. While you were sleeping

Not to be confused with the Sandra Bullock rom-com from the 90s. Instead, this is about a young woman who can dream the future who has her fate changed by a young prosecutor who suddenly develops the same ability

I was thoroughly and utterly charmed by this show. Everything was so beautifully done - from the cinematography, to the music (OMG the music!), even the title cards were interesting and quirky. The characters were all great - the main leads are so sweet and relatable, the second lead is cute-as-a-button, the villain is properly hissable, and none of the supporting characters/extras annoyed me! The storyline itself was brilliant, with so many great set-ups, pay-offs and twists, and the romance was lovely.

Male lead: A bit of a hot mess of a human being (basically, the polar opposite of his character in W!)…but all the more loveable for it. AASI: W: 2 worlds, Doctor stranger.

Female lead: Smart, sweet, loyal (I really loved her relationship with her mum) and quietly brave.

7. Descendants of the Sun

A special forces Captain meets a capable and beautiful trauma surgeon. They feel an instant bond, but their jobs and philosophy on life get in the way, threatening to tear them apart.

I absolutely LOVE the male lead character, and the romance in this was beautiful. Plus its chock-full of CompetencePorn, with lots of scenes of people being really, really good at their jobs (this is one of my favourite things!). However, it didn’t quite nail the angst, and the last minute was a bit twee which dropped it down the rankings a bit.

Male lead: A cocky, charming, absolute BADASS with the most adorable, cheeky smile.

Female lead: Sweet and a bit out of her depth in the dangerous situations…but put her in charge of a patient and watch her go!

8. Love in the Moonlight / Moonlight Drawn by Clouds

A young woman poses as a eunuch in the Royal Palace and falls in love with the Crown Prince

This was the first period piece I watched and it’s still my favourite - almost entirely because of the male lead and his beautiful face! The start had a really light, comedic tone (and a lot of modern anachronisms - high fives everywhere!) and I loved all the identity-concealing hi-jinks. But then the romance kicked into gear and the DELICIOUS angst started flowing, and I became obsessed with it. It’s like loads of bits of my favourite regency historical romances were mashed up and transported to the Joseon Dynasty. I loved it so much!

Male lead: Manages to look amazingly handsome despite all the period headgear, kicks ass with a sword, and doesn’t allow himself to be manipulated by the corrupt officials surrounding him. Also acts like an adorable goofball when he’s in love.

Female lead: Loved her at the start - she’s scrappy and independent and capable. Unfortunately, becomes too much of a plot device by the end. AASI: Backstreet Rookie

9. I’ll Go to You When the Weather is Nice / I’ll Find You on a Beautiful Day

A cellist disillusioned with life in Seoul returns to her small home town for the winter.

This was achingly sweet and wonderful. The slow unfolding of the story, the beautiful scenery, and the simple yet moving score all combine to make this feel like the type of small town contemporary romance novel I love to read on a rainy day in front of a fire. Whilst long-held, painful secrets are eventually revealed, there is no massive conflict involved, with no antagonist or over-wrought external drama. Its just the tale of two sad, lonely people who have withdrawn from the world forming a connection with each other and trying to overcome their issues (she has a fear of abandonment; he’s a loner who has a tendency to disappear). As a bonus, there’s a bookclub with a wonderful cast of secondary characters - I wanted to spend more time with all of them.

Male Lead: Precious Cinnamon Roll, to be protected at all costs. AASI: Are you human too

Female lead: Wears her heart on her sleeve. Refreshingly, she’s the instigator of the relationship and isn’t the usual passive, coy female. AASI: What’s wrong with secretary Kim, Healer, Her private life

10. Goblin

A 900yr old immortal guardian finally meets the ‘bride’ who will end his existence

Once I got over the slight ick-factor of the age difference between the two characters at the beginning, I really fell for this show and it’s world. It had me in floods of tears at some points, and it was laugh out loud funny at others. I especially loved the secondary character of the Grim Reaper and his reluctant bromance with the Goblin.

Male lead: Surprising innocent and funny for a 900 year old

Female lead: Also innocent, but in some ways wise beyond her years. Her tears will make you cry (the actress is very good at sobbing her heart out!). AASI: The King, eternal monarch

11. What’s Wrong with Secretary Kim

An personal assistant decides to quits her job in order to get a life. Her boss has other ideas.

This was my first Park Seo Joon drama, and he’s great in it. He somehow turns a self-centred, entitled and vain boss into an endearing character! The central romance is amazing - I can rewatch their scenes again and again - and its a bit more mature than some of the others on this list (be sure to check out the extended scene!!). It has some of the best kisses in Kdrama.

Male lead: Like I said, somehow makes vanity and narcissism endearing. Also not afraid to get his shirt off and flash his 6-pack. Bonus. AASI: Itaewon Class, Fight for my way, Hwarang

Female lead: I’m a sucker for uber-competent people so I loved this character. Park Min Young has become one of my favourites, and she is STUNNING in this. AASI: I’ll go to you when the weather is nice, Healer, Her private life

12. Legend of the Blue Sea

A mermaid comes onto land to find the man she loves

The (literal) fish-out-of-water scenes in the first half of this show were hilarious - the actress is a comic genius! The romance was nicely done, and there wasn’t a lot of extraneous plot or too many characters. It also nicely incorporates scenes from the Joseon era, so you get a partial historical romance thrown in for free!

I couldn’t stop watching this one and I’ve since rewatched it too! Definitely one to check out.

Male lead: Cocky, arrogant conman with a soft mushy centre. AASI: The King, Eternal monarch, Heirs.

Female lead: Steals the show - funny, smart and beautiful. AASI: My love from the Star.

13. Into the Ring/The Ballot - NEW ENTRY

An out-of-work young woman decides to run for office and faces all sorts of challenges in her quest to right some wrongs and earn a living.

This show has one of my favourite ever female characters - she’s headstrong, hard working, and quick to violence but so cute and charming with the most adorable laugh! She tries to act all cynical (that she’s only in it for the money) but she is actually really caring and kind. I sooo wanted her to succeed against the establishment of corrupt assholes that she worked with. Seeing her become disillusioned with politics and her colleagues was heartbreaking, and watching her fight back was great.

Her dynamic with the male lead was also great - he’s quietly in awe of her even when he’s exasperated and borderline scared of her. And he’s super supportive. It was so much fun watching her drag him out of his monotonous, dull life. They also weren’t stingy with the PDA which was so refreshing.

On a superficial level, the show was also visually interesting, with loads of cool angles and blue lens flare. And the overall light, funny tone made it so watchable.

Male lead: Adorkable

Female lead: The literal embodiment of sunshine and determination. I have a bit of a crush on her!

14. The King: Eternal Monarch

The reigning King of the Kingdom of Corea discovers a gateway to a parallel world - the Republic of Korea

This is the first drama I’ve watched in ‘real time’ but I think it would work better as a binge - there are a LOT of characters, and many have dopplegangers (because of the parallel world thing) so it became hard to keep track of who was who. I also think the progression of the romance is better appreciated in a binge (I wrote about it here - ignore the speculation; i got it so wrong LOL!). Unfortunately, the plot also had major holes in it (the ‘rules’ for the gateway/magical flute didn’t make sense) and It was difficult at times to differentiate Corea from Korea - a major failing of the editing.

Buuuuuut, it still made my ‘Great’ list because all of those issues were outweighed by the sheer epicness of this show. The gorgeous sets, the dramatic scenery, the ANGST-filled, beautiful romance…at one point the King rides a majestic white horse into battle with a sword on a neon-lit highway to save the woman he loves. I mean, come on! Plus, its really funny - the ‘fish out of water’ scenes when the King first arrives in Korea, the chalk and cheese dopplegangers Yeong and Eun-Seob, the King’s constant threats of beheading…I loved those elements so much!

Male lead: Gives Ri Jeong-Hyeok from CHOY a run for his money in the ‘Best Boyfriend’ competition. AASI: Legend of the blue sea, Heirs.

Female lead: A bad-ass cop. Takes a while to believe Lee Gon’s story, but once she decides to go all in…she goes all in, and loves unreservedly with her whole heart. AASI: Goblin

15. Tomorrow with you

A time-traveller struggling to live in the present meets a woman trying to let go of her past.

This reminded me a bit of ‘I’ll go to you when the weather is nice’ in terms of the melancholic tone, the simple but effective music, and the beautiful lighting etc. There were also some really interesting, innovative shots which I appreciated.

It took a few episodes to get into and it was a bit frustrating in the middle - so much could have been solved if people just TALKED to each other!! Plus the rules for this version of time travel weren’t really clear…But the last few episodes were brilliant; the way the story came together, and all the little bits of set up were paid off was really well done. These episodes alone were enough to bump this up to the ‘Great’ category (especially, given there was a bit of a Lake House vive at one point - I’m a sucker for that movie. The romance was also beautifully portrayed; I could endlessly watch their domestic scenes - they had such good chemistry and banter.

Male lead: Absolutely, but endearingly, terrible at relationships. He ends up falling in love against his will and largely without realising it.

Female lead: A bit of a mess and a borderline alcoholic, but so cute and innocent. I love the way she talks to herself, she’s so funny! AASI: Oh My Venus

16. Fight for my Way

Two life-long friends decide to go after their dreams

I fast-forwarded large chunks of this (I wasn’t interested in the secondary couple at all), but it still made my ‘Great’ list because this is one of the best friends-to-lovers stories I’ve seen. You truly buy that these 2 have known each other their entire lives (their bickering and teasing feels so natural). And then when they take the next step, they’re so affectionate and refreshingly open with their feelings. Speaking of which, this also has some great kissing scenes (Park Seo Joon is the master!)

Male lead: I love his contradictions. He’s goofy and childish…but can really turn on the sexy charm; he’s a badass MMA fighter…who loves when his girlfriend sticks up for him and protects him. AASI: What’s wrong with secretary Kim, Itaewon class, Hwarang

Female lead: Takes no shit from anyone and will fight for her man! AASI: Descendants of the sun (secondary character)

17. Suspicious Partner

A young, hardworking lawyer has her life turned upside down when she is put on trial for murder.

This was officially bumped up the list a while ago, and I stand by the decision. Its still overly long, but the serial killer plot had some nice twists and it was central to the story, so it didn’t feel extraneous like some of these types of plots do. Mainly, I just loved the central romance - the 2 characters sparked off each other so well and I loved their evolution from sort-of enemies to lovers. This is another show where I can endlessly rewatch their scenes together.

Male lead: Its Ji Chang Wook! He’s so good at playing serious guys who are secretly big dorks. AASI: Healer, The K2, Melting me softly, Backstreet Rookie

Female lead: Fate deals her a shitty hand, but she perseveres with grace and determination. She’s great. AASI: Shopaholic Louis, 100 days my prince.

The GOOD:

1. I Am Not a Robot

A man who is allergic to human contact finds companionship with a robot…or does he?

I honestly thought I wouldn’t make it passed a couple of episodes of this - the concept was just too ridiculous. But I’m glad I persevered, because it developed some real depth and some proper good angst towards the end and I LOVED the central relationship. I’ve rewatched loads of this one.

Actress ASI: Piece of Your Mind; Love in the moonlight (secondary character)

2. I Remember You - NEW ENTRY

A famous criminal profiler gatecrashes the investigation of a serial killer, hoping it will restore the missing memories of his childhood trauma

I really liked the set up of this - the lead character is introduced like a young Sherlock Holmes (the music even reminded me of the score for the BBC Sherlock series). The super-observant, socially awkward thing kind of dropped off as the series progressed, but I still enjoyed how the plot developed, especially with Park Bo-Gum’s character; I’ve only ever seen him play innocent cutie-pies, so this role was a bit of a surprise!

The female lead was like an anime character come to life (she was petite and cute with enormous eyes), but I also loved her personality; she was tenacious, and dogged and took no shit from anyone. She had a cute, antagonistic relationship with the profiler at the start (which I loved) which eventually led to some really sweet, touching moments.

Actor ASI: Shopping King Louis

3. Hotel del Luna

A hotel for wandering spirits gets a new human manager - and he forms a surprising connection to the enigmatic 1300 year old owner

If I had to describe this show in one word it would be ’lavish’. It’s a feast for the eyes - from the set design, to the costumes, to the CGI views of the hotel towering over the moon-lit Seoul cityscape, its stunning. It also plays with aspect ratios in a cool way (watch for the shots where the action spills over into the black bars top and bottom of the screen).

In terms of the characters, I really liked IU in this; her character may be uncaring, world-weary, and money-hungry, but she’s also immensely charming. I admit I got more platonic vibes with her and the male lead, but I still liked their relationship. I also really liked the stories of the ghosts passing through (some reduced me to tears with very little screen time) and there were a couple of GREAT cameos. Especially the one at the very end - I want more of him, please!!

Actress ASI: Scarlet heart

4. My Holo Love

A lonely woman falls for a holographic AI and then meets his creator…

I love the concept of this show (I’m a big sci-fi nerd), and I think this stayed in my ‘favourite’ list for so long because it was the first Kdrama of this genre that I saw. I still love it - especially because of how beautifully it’s shot, and how well the story comes together - but I’m not dying to rewatch any of it, unlike all the others shows that are now on the ‘great’ list.

5. Extraordinary You

A high school student discovers she’s a supporting character in a comic book

The plot of this was so cool, and the way the comic story played out interspersed with the characters ‘real lives’ was really well done. Plus the central couple were so adorable. It dragged in the middle section (several versions of the same conversations were had, and the same exposition was spelled out multiple ways for no apparent reason) which kept it out of my favourite list, but it redeemed itself with some good angst at the end, and it had a really lovely ‘epilogue’.

AASI: A couple of the secondary male leads have a mini-reunion in ‘I’ll go to you when the weather is nice’!

6. Just Between Lovers - NEW ENTRY

Three people impacted by a tragic shopping mall collapse start working on a building project together, unaware of their shared past.

I absolutely adore the male lead in this - he is the archetypal tortured hero (I constantly wanted to give him a hug and a warm meal). He’s also wonderfully romantic in his own, straightfoward, no-nonsense way. The female lead was really likeable - l love capable women and she is the definition of that (she even drives a lorry at one point!). There’s a lot of pain and angst in this show, with very little levity, but it strangely never felt heavy. I really liked it.

Actress ASI: Melting me Softly

7. Strong Girl Bong-Soon

A woman with inherited super-strength gets a job as a bodyguard for an eccentric young CEO

The lead couple in this are AD-OR-ABLE and I loved their relationship. But there was a weird tone issue in this show. The romance is super cute…but there’s a whole dark sub plot involving multiple women being held captive by a psychopath, and a really grating cast of ‘bad guy’ extras. I ended up fast forwarding most of that, and just concentrated on the romance - If someone could do a supercut of all their scenes, I would watch it on a loop.

Actor ASI: Hwarang, Heirs (minor character)

8. 30 but 17/Still 17 - NEW ENTRY

A 17 year old girl gets into an accident and wakes from a coma 13 years later.

I was worried going into this that the romance (between a 30 year old man and (essentially) a 17 year old girl) would feel icky and uncomfortable. But the writers made the wise choice of creating a 30 year old man with the emotional maturity of a 17 year old. He is so awkward and unworldly, that they actually work really well together. In fact, I loved their relationship. The secrets in this show took faaaar too long to be revealed, which made me worried that the eding would be too rushed, but there was actually time for a nice ‘epilogue’. Plus, all the supporting characters were great (including the wonderfully weird housekeeper Jennifer) and the cutest dog in the world was in this. So I definitely recommend it.

9. Mystic Pop-up Bar - NEW ENTRY

As punishment for past sins, a woman must solve the grudges of 100,000 people by entering their dreams

This was an unexpected delight. I started watching it after spotting a cute gifset on tumblr (which I didn’t realise contained huge spoilers!). The story and tone is (mostly) light and quirky, and I particularly enjoyed the worldbuilding - the banal bureaucracy of the afterlife in this even reminds me a bit of The Good Place. I’m a sucker for a ‘found family’ theme and this one was done really nicely. It also had 2 main ships - one really cute and innocent, the other took me by surprise with how moving it was. Similarly, some of the episode-specific stories and characters (i.e. the individual grudges) made me tear up.

10. 100 days my prince

A Prince loses his memory during an assassination attempt and ends up living as a peasant for 100 days.

Another period piece; the plots of these seem a little repetitive (Crown prince’s life is threatened by scheming Minister) but the central cast and the romance usually makes up for it. Same for this show - I really enjoyed watching the spoiled, grumpy puppy of a Prince try to cope with manual labour, and the female lead was capable, and endearing.

Actress ASI: Suspicious partner, Shopaholic Louis

11. Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok-Joo

A young talented weightlifter experiences first love

Honestly, I wasn’t sold on this at first; the female lead was a bit much (lot of gurning and over-acting) and there was a weird disconnect between how she was described (big, overweight, manly, unfeminine) and how she actually looked (thin and beautiful!). But the back half of this show saved it; her relationship with Joon-Hyung was sooooo cute. He is adorable, and they were both so supportive of each other’s dreams. I finished this with a big smile on my face.

Actor ASI: Bride of the Water God, Scarlet heart (tertiary character)

12. Are You Human Too

A mother separated from her son builds a robotic replacement. Decades later, he has to take the place of the ‘real’ son.

I loved the evolution of the robot in this - it never went the way of a full Pinnochio story, but it was fun to see him learning about the real world and how humans interact. It also posed some interesting questions - what does it mean to be human? And how would you react if you were ‘replaced’ by an artificial version?

The actor in this was fantastic. The way he could change from the real Nam Shin to Nam Shin III with the most subtle shifts in posture and facial expression was really impressive. It took me longer to warm to the female lead, and by the end she was given very little to do…but her unflinching support and unconditional love for Nam Shin III won me over. Some of the supporting characters didn’t work for me, and it was far too long…but worth a watch for the lead actor’s performance. Plus, Nam Shin III is an absolute cutie-pie.

Actor ASI: I’ll go to you when the weather is nice

13. Shopaholic Louis/ Shopping King Louis

The young, shopaholic heir to a large department store empire loses his memory and has to live as a poor man

The male lead in this is an absolute puppy dog and I ADORE him. He squeals when he sees bugs, he can’t run to save his life, and he’s the type of guy who will punch someone and immediately apologise and ask if they’re ok. He’s spoilt, entitled, demanding and has no concept of the value of money…but thanks to the actor portraying him, he just comes across as innocent, sweet and lonely (he spends all his time shopping and accumulating stuff because they fills up his empty life). The female lead is just a really nice, kind person; at first Louis seems like he’ll be just one more burden she needs to take care of, but he makes it clear from the start that she can count on him to help her too - something she’s never had before. Their relationship develops so naturally and thoroughly that you cant help but feel they are perfect for each other. I watched this with a big smile on my face.

Actor ASI: I Remember You

Actress ASI: Suspicious partner, 100 days my prince

14. Oh My Venus

The previously much-lusted after ‘Venus of Daegu’ fulfilled her dream of becoming a lawyer - but she gained weight and lost her self esteem in the process.

I adored the female lead - she was so relentlessly bright and optimistic that you couldn’t help but love her and root for her. I was a bit worried going in that there was going to be a lot of fat-shaming, but the male lead made it clear that he was more interested in her internal health than her external appearance (and you could tell he started to fall for her when she was chubby, so it wasn’t superficial in that way). I wasn’t expecting for him to become so much of the focus in the second half of the show (I thought he was just going to be a hunky trainer; I should have known better - in a Kdrama there is always a Tragic Backstory looming!). Their relationship was so natural and cute - the bit with the dimples never got old - and overall, this was a fun, easy watch.

Actress ASI: Tomorrow with you.

Actor ASI: My secret Terrius, Master’s sun.

15. A Piece of your Mind - NEW ENTRY

A classical music recording engineer meets an AI designer.

I struggled to sum-up the concept of this in one sentence, because the ‘plot’ is so arbitrary (and the AI stuff makes no sense whatsoever!). It’s really more of a mood piece - the lighting, the music and the performance combine to make this a strangely ethereal show, dealing with unrequited love, grief and the importance of human connection. It’s slow and contemplative and a little odd in its structure (there’s very little set-up, so you feel like you’ve been dropped into episode 3 of an established show). This may put some people off, but I really liked it.

I started watching it because of the leads (who I’ve loved in other shows) and they didn’t disappoint. She is so kind and lovely; he’s a little odd - like a robot learning about life. But their relationship is so beautiful (it even included one of my favourite niche tropes: insomniacs who can only sleep around each other).

Apparently the episode run was cut down from 16 to 12 because of poor ratings, which is a real shame because i think a bit more time was needed to really sell the female lead’s emotional arc. It all felt a little rushed at the end, but I still enjoyed it, and admired that it tried something a little unconventional.

Actor ASI: While you were sleeping (secondary lead).

Actress ASI: I am Not a Robot; Love in the moonlight (secondary character)

16. Rookie Historian - NEW ENTRY

An independent, educated woman choses to become one of the first female court historians, rather than get married.

This show had a really interesting premise and I enjoyed watching the rookie female historians navigate court-life (battling workplace harassment, misogyny and patriarchal values) and developing a real friendship with each other.

The female lead was fantastic - she was headstrong, pragmatic, unapologetically intelligent, a lover of books and a hater of injustice. She shared that love of books with the male lead, who was sensitive, soft-spoken, and innocent. The ultimate beta hero, who’s romantic fantasies involved him feeding her cookies and fanning her while she sleeps!

Their romance took a backseat for a lot of the show, but I didn’t mind as the plot was exploring interesting topics such as intruders from the West, catholicism, and censorship, etc.

Actor ASI: My ID is Gangnam Beauty

Actress ASI: Bride of Habaek

17. Tempted/The Great Seducer - NEW ENTRY

In an act of revenge, a wealthy heir makes a bet with his friends to seduce a hardworking female college student

10 minutes into this I started to get major Cruel Intentions vibes…which made sense when I found out it was also an adaptation of Dangerous Liaisons! It doesn’t have the dark edge or overt sexuality of Cruel Intentions (which is one of my favs) but its still good - mainly due to the male lead. I ADORED him in TKEM and he’s really good here. I’m a sucker for the ‘bad boy falls in love for the first time’ trope and he played it so well. The female lead was also good - she was self-aware, strong, intelligent and took no shit. I was less interested by the love affairs of the adults around them, but overall it was a good show.

Actor ASI: TKEM (secondary character)

18. My Love from the Star

Alien stranded on earth meets an actress soon before he’s due to be rescued.

It took a couple of goes to get into this one, but I’m glad I finally watched the whole thing (the female lead was initially very irritating, but she improved a lot). I enjoyed the present-day romance and all the flashes back to the past. However, the ending was really abrupt and disappointing (which kept it out of my favourite list). There should have been 1 less filler episode in the middle, and a decent, fleshed out finale instead.

Actor ASI: Its ok to not be ok.

Actress ASI: Legend of the blue sea

19. Because this is my First Life

A rational-to-a-fault software designer and an aspiring screenwriter come up with an unconventional way to solve their housing problem

When I started this, I thought it was going to be all light and fluffy (the main character’s job in the beginning was to insert the product placement in Korean dramas - hello, Red Ginseng! - which I found hilarious and meta) but it had a surprisingly melancholic tone throughout and touched on issues of workplace harassment and gender roles. I didn’t warm to the male lead until right at the end (which was probably partly intentional - he’s very remote and closed off) but overall I found the story quite lovely. Plus it had a really great central female friendship and their conversations actually passed the Bechdel test!

20. My shy boss / Introverted boss

An extroverted actress takes a job at a PR company working for a man with crippling shyness

This was another deceptive show; I thought from the title and the synopsis that it would just be a light opposites attract comedy about an introverted man and an extroverted woman. But I was almost in tears by the second episode when the Tragic Backstory came to light, and we saw the full extent of the Boss’ struggles to communicate with other human beings. He has such a rich, funny, and smart inner monologue, and the way he overthinks every interaction is really endearing…which makes the contrast with his silent and withdrawn external persona all the more stark and heartbreaking. You really root for him to find happiness. This was overly long (a common pitfall with these shows) and there was some distracting shaky camera work in some of the close ups. There were also implications early on about workplace sexual harassment and possibly dubious consent in a one night stand which were dropped, leaving a bit of a sour note. Despite that, it was overall fairly enjoyable and has one of the cutest confession scenes!

The OK

1. The K2

An ex-mercenary takes a job as a bodyguard protecting the illegitimate daughter of a politician. A sort-of Snow White retelling.

This started off really well; there are some amazing fight sequences (hello, shower room scene!) and JCW has never been hotter - its worth watching for him alone. However, the back half became really bogged down in double crosses and manipulations, and it focussed too much on the politicians. The writers did well to give these characters some layers, but they were all essentially doing bad things for the wrong reasons, and I just didn’t care about them. The show was much better when it was following K2’s journey. The romance also started off well, but was a bit underdeveloped (mainly because they barely interacted).

Actor ASI: Healer, suspicious partner, Backstreet rookie, Melting me softly

2.Bride of Habaek / Bride of the Water God

A God of the Land of Water visits the human realm to fulfil a task before ascending to his throne. He enlists the help of a ‘divine servant’, a down-on-her-luck psychiatrist.

I started this because I liked the lead actor. His baby-face can’t quite pull off the intensity needed for this role, but he was still cute as the arrogant, imperious God brought low by his circumstances - no money, house, powers or (most importantly to him) driving license. I also liked the female lead - she so desperately wanted to hide her kind, compassionate heart from a world that had battered and bruised her. There were some good individual scenes (especially the 'confession’ moment, which was just lovely), but the show ran out of steam towards the end, and ultimately felt like a waste of potential.

Actor ASI: Weightlifting fairy Kim Bok-joo

Actress ASI: Rookie Historian

3. Her Private Life

A talented art curator tries to keep her professional persona separate from her fangirl obsession with a pop idol.

This was cute and I loved the central relationship - he was so supportive of her, and their interactions were refreshingly mature and their banter felt really natural. Ultimately, it was a bit forgettable (I’m not dying to rewatch any of it), and the last minute tacked-on childhood trauma subplot was really unnecessary.

Actress ASI: Healer, Whats wrong with secretary kim, I’ll go to you when the weather is nice.

4. Touch Your Heart

Star actress rocked by scandal works at a law firm to prepare for her comeback role

This starred the secondary couple from Goblin and I really like them, even though they are playing very different characters in this (more opposites attract, than doomed lovers). It’s a bit too ‘cutesy’ and I had to fast forward a lot of the secondary romances which I wasn’t invested in.

5. My Secret Terrius

A secret agent on the run gets embroiled in the life of his next door neighbour - a mum of young twins.

The romance in this was underwhelming; the two characters ended in a really cute place, but it felt like set up for a story I probably would have liked more than this one. In saying that, this was still a relatively enjoyable watch; the female lead was great - she was constantly underestimated as ‘just a housewife’ but she was smarter, and more determined and resourceful than the spies around her. The male lead’s interactions with the twins were adorable, and there was a good cast of supporting characters. However, I’ve already pretty much forgotten the main espionage plot!

Actor ASI: Oh My Venus

6. Lawless Lawyer

A gangster-turned-lawyer moves to Gisung to take on corruption with the help of a suspended female attorney

I liked this more at the beginning; it reminded me a bit of Itaewon Class, with a charismatic lead, an intricately plotted revenge scheme that the audience only becomes aware of as the series progresses, and a take-no-shit female lead who was introduced hitting an authority figure! However, it never really gripped me (it took me weeks to finish) and a couple of the villains were overacting and hamming it up all over the place. But I loved the two leads, and their relationship was good, despite feeling a bit rushed.

Actor ASI: Scarlet Heart

Actress ASI: Its ok to not be ok, Hwarang (tertiary character)

7. 1% of Something - NEW ENTRY

To gain his inheritance, an arrogant, aloof CEO has to enter into a marriage contract with a sweet primary school teacher.

I liked how streamlined this was: it was just a show about two people who fall in love despite their best intentions. There was no overly complicated plot, and even the conflict that keeps them apart towards the end felt very organic and unforced.

She is a delightful ball of sunshine. He is a little overbearing but has his own charm. And bear with the bad haircut and appalling fashion sense - he improves at the end!

8. Melting Me Softly

Two people are accidentally cryogenically frozen for 20 years. They have to navigate the modern world and their new lives together.

Another good concept, but it ultimately descended into little more than a light work-place romance. Had a couple of good kissing scenes, but it was overall a bit forgettable.

Actor ASI: The K2, healer, suspicious partner, backstreet rookie

Actress ASI: Just Between Lovers

9. My Sassy Girl

A 'sassy’ princess meets an ambitious scholar in less than ideal circumstances…

I enjoyed the fact that this Joseon period drama focused on a Princess for a change, and not a prince. She came across as more 'obnoxious and immature’ than 'sassy’ in the beginning, but once it was made clear that she was actually a decent, kind person underneath, I soon warmed to her. I also liked the relationship with the male lead, which amounted to a pretty good enemies-to-lovers story. It took a bit of an unexpected turn right at the end, but my independent, feminine self was good with it. Overall, this was a pretty easy watch, but nothing special.

10. Hwarang

Follows a peasant who joins the newly-created Hwarang (Poet Warrior Youths in ancient Korea) to enact revenge for the death of his best friend

I enjoyed the scenes of the Hwarang hanging out and bonding - so many cute bromances in this! But I couldn’t really connect with the central story and romance, due to a major case of SLS (Second Lead Syndrome) - as much as I’m a fan of Park Seo-joon, I adore Park Hyung-sik, and I found his character, journey and relationship with the female lead much more compelling. The ending still managed to feel somewhat satisfying, but I won’t be rewatching any of it.

Actor ASI: Itaewon class, What’s wrong with secretary kim, Fight for my way

The BAD

1. Hyde, Jekyll and Me

A woman becomes involved in the lives of 2 men, who share one body

Hyun Bin is sooo watchable in this, especially as the slick-haired, glasses-wearing, uptight Seo-Jin. And the show started well…but quickly went off the rails into a convoluted, dragged-out revenge plot. It was a bit of a slog to get through, to be honest.

Actor ASI: CLOY

2. Queen: Love and War

The long lost twin of a recently assassinated Queen assumes her identity to enter the Bridal selection to wed the resurrected King and seek revenge.

This was a bit of a mess (as you can tell from that synopsis!); it felt like the first few episodes were rushed through as a sort of ‘prologue’ before the main thrust of the story…but that prologue contained A LOT of plot with some major character revelations that were rapidly skimmed over (e.g. the female lead was introduced as having complete amnesia; but almost out of nowhere she casually mentions that she got all her memories back and now knows who she is). Because of this, it took me a while to get a sense of who the characters really were. A lot of the usual Joseon plot points played out (scheming ministers and untrustworthy queens) but it had some unique features - I especially enjoyed the bridal selection scenes and seeing the lead female outwitting her rivals in the various challenges. But ultimately, I fast forwarded a lot of this and it was pretty forgettable.

Actress ASI: Doctor Stranger.

Actor ASI: Backstreet Rookie (secondary character)

3. Backstreet Rookie

A struggling young woman takes a part-time job at the convenience store run by her high school crush.

I was really not a fan of this show, and probably would have stopped watching if it wasn’t for Kim Yoo-jung. Her character was really likeable - kickass, but vulnerable, and so loving and kind. You were really rooting for her throughout. The show also had some interesting things to say about inequality (there was a lovely scene between the male leads’s parents in episode 10 touching on this theme)…but that’s about it for the positives.

Overall, it was just too OTT and manic and most of the characters were barely more than cartoonish caricatures. One character was actually repulsive, and the fact that he got his own romantic subplot was just gross. I’m a big fan of Ji Chang-wook, but I didn’t like some of his acting choices in this, and his character spent far too long in a relationship with another woman, which meant the main romance felt underdeveloped.

And…it ended without a kiss. I was so pissed off! I put up with 16 episodes of crap, expecting a decent pay-off at the end…but no. I wouldn’t recommend this one.

Actress ASI: Love in the Moonlight

Actor ASI: Suspicious Partner, Healer, K2, Melting me Softly

The UNCLASSIFIABLE

Moon Lovers: Scarlet Heart Ryeo

A modern girl is transported 1000 years into the past where she becomes embroiled in the lives of the Royal Princes.

I honestly don’t know where I stand with this one! Did I love it? Did I hate it? I seriously don’t know!

I was reluctant to start this (I knew it didn’t have a happy ending) but I was told its a rite of passage for KDrama newbies to watch this show. And there were some great things about it - the male lead was amazing! So intense and tragic, with the most arresting face. The music was also GORGEOUS, as was the scenery - the whole production felt very sumptuous. The palace intrigue stuff was also more compelling than most of the other historic dramas I’ve seen. I recognised several of the Princes from other shows, and I became really invested in 3 of them…which made the constant threat of them betraying each other/killing each other AGONISING. This show was heavy on the Emotional Torture Porn, and some of it felt gratuitous, because I just didn’t understand the motivations behind some of the plot points/character’s actions.

I also wasn’t a big fan of the female lead; partly because the actress only seemed to have 2 facial expressions to work with, but partly because and any hints that she was a modern girl with modern sensibilities quickly disappeared. It was this independence and spunk that made all the princes fall for her (to varying degrees) but she lost all of that and it left me wondering why they bothered with the time travel aspect at all.

I finished the show feeling wrung out and with the overwhelming sense of “Why? What was the point of that?”

Buuuuuut…it has lingered with me - as @talenevertold said when we were discussing the show, “Nobody enjoys it in the process… but it leaves this unique bittersweet aftertaste…” and that’s absolutely true; and it probably true that this show IS a rite of passage that everyone should watch. But don’t say I didn’t warn you!

and...The MEH (i.e. DNF):

This list is getting long! I have a bit less patience with shows than I did in the beginning - there are so many to get through, so I’m not willing to waste my time on anything that either doesn’t grip me from a story perspective, is far too slow, has mediocre acting and/or is too soapy.

Master’s sun

Tale of Nokdu

The Heirs

Meow, the Secret Boy

Love Alarm

One Spring Night

Suits

Chocolate

Doctor Stranger

The scholar who walks the night

If I’ve made a heinous mistake by dropping any of these - get in touch and plead the case for why i should give them another chance!

#kdrama #kdrama recommendations

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buckyreaderrecs · 5 years ago

Text

Wax and Wane

Summary: Bucky was sure he'd felt all the different types of bad a person could feel. He was wrong. You were pretty sure it was illegal to drive away with an Avenger in the back of your van, but what else could you do? A story about grief that is basically the 'flowers grow in the sidewalk cracks' metaphor fanfictionalised.

Words: 5,614 Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Reader Characters: Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson, Thor Additional tags: mostly canon compliant (Infinity War and Endgame never happened), Stark Tower still exists, other Marvel characters are mentioned but aren’t central to plot, recovering Bucky, not angsty but a sad story, she/her pronouns Warnings: illness/death, sick children, grief

Note: This was written for Nik's 1k Writing Challenge - @serpienten My dialogue prompt was, "I'll keep you warm. Hold me closer." I hope you love it, Nik!

EDIT: Accidentally had all the Y/N replaced with my name because of the Chrome extension. Hopefully fixed, but if you see Rhiannon pop up, please let me know so I can edit. Embarrassing lol.

Wax and Wane

As the paint was brushed gently across their skin in broad strokes, you could read the joy and pleasure in their sweet little faces. It was a very minor and short term relief from their day-to-day pain, but it was the very least you could do. Face painting wasn't going to cure cancer or mend broken bones, but it made the residents of the hospital's children's ward happy.

Most of the long-term patients knew you. You were the girl in the tutu and butterfly wings that would come and blow bubbles and make them smile. But on that day, you weren't the one they were excited for.

The children were in a frenzy as The Avengers entered the room, dressed in their best outfits (minus any dangerous weaponry, you assumed). You stood to the side of the room with the doctors, nurses, and parents, and listened along with an enraptured audience as Captain America and Iron Man introduced the team. The kids couldn't sit for long, so very quickly the nibbles and treats were brought out and the room calmed into a soft party atmosphere.

As soon as you'd set up your station, there was a line of children wanting to have webs and stars painted. You worked quickly, getting through the line fast. Staying put, you only had a chance to briefly survey the room before Liam, one of your most special friends, trotted up to you, pulling along someone new.

"Hey, Liam," you greeted. He let go of his new friend's hand to hug you.

"Look, Y/N!" he said, pointing up. "It's Bucky!"

You looked up at Bucky Barnes, who would have towered over you even if you had been standing. The child's size plastic chair you were on really added a comical size difference though.

"Hi, Bucky," you said, coy smile. Bucky softly smiled back. "You're Liam's favourite,"

"Yeah, I told'ed him that!" Liam said, not a shred of self-consciousness in the child. "And now we can be matching,"

"Matching?" you asked.

"Yeah, 'cause you do the painting and you can paint my arm like Bucky's," Liam explained, holding his prosthetic arm out in demonstration.

Glancing up at Bucky to make sure he was privy to the plan, he simply gave a little shrug.

"Sounds good to me. How about you sit in this chair here, Liam, and we get Bucky to sit right next to us on the floor. Is that okay?" you asked both of them.

Liam jumped into the seat, sticking his arm out ready.

Bucky had a bit of a harder time folding himself down, but he eventually managed to sit in front of you comfortably.

"Okay if I borrow your arm for a bit?" you asked Bucky.

He nodded and held it out to you. When you took it, laying it across one of your legs so you could copy the seams and markings, Bucky held his breath. Most people hesitated. He figured some of them were afraid, and some didn't want to appear rude. Not you though. To you, his arm was just that - an arm. You'd kinda grown used to celebrities (is that what superheroes are classified as? you wondered to yourself) by then. Make a Wish and fundraising events and all that jazz… Turns out most famous people are pretty normal, boring even.

Bucky watched you pull a bunch of markers out of your kit and begin replicating the aesthetic of his vibranium arm onto Liam's plastic prosthetic. He let you gently move him as needed, and found himself in awe of how good your Sharpie skills were.

"You're really good," he said, speaking up for the first time.

Liam held most of the space in the conversation, which was fine by both of you. He told Bucky about his illness, and how even though he'd lost his arm, he was the "luckiest kid in New York" because he was alive and because he got to meet The Avengers. There were shades of adult in his words, like he'd been told of his own luck before.

While Liam spoke, you stole glances at Bucky. Mostly, his gaze was on Liam, sometimes darting over to you and away just as fast; he was avoiding eye contact. However, he quickly would turn to focus on particularly loud sounds or doors opening. If you'd had a chance to watch any of the other heroes in the room, you'd note they all did the same.

"Doin' okay, Liam?" you checked in when the boy had gone quiet.

Liam nodded frantically, not wanting to disappoint. "Yeah!" he affirmed.

"Maybe just need a little nap after this, huh buddy?" you asked.

"Maybe," he replied, relieved that there was a nap in his future.

"Think I might need one too," Bucky chimed in. Liam giggled like it was a joke.

"All done!" you announced.

When the very elated Liam was done tippy tapping and hugging, he ran off to show his parents how absolutely cool he was.

You and Bucky stood, both stretching out your limbs.

"Think you've made a friend for life there," you told him; he softly smiled in reply. "Can I just say something that might be way out of place? I just… I don't know… I feel like you need to hear it."

Bucky frowned, studied your face for a second. "Sure,"

"Okay… So… You do know that you deserve to be here, right?"

Mostly his expression was blank, then his head tilted to the side just a little. You'd been reading him the whole time, he realised. He felt exposed. But there was nowhere to run to.

"Maybe…" he finally settled on saying.

"Maybe?" you scoffed. "I mean, kids are lining up to meet you… And you're not questioning if, like, Wanda Maximoff or Natasha Romanoff should be here, you know what I mean?"

Bucky looked over to where Scarlet Witch and Black Widow were forming a girl gang. "They're different. It's different," he argued, but his words were laced with too much sadness for you to give in.

"Yeah… If you wanna get technical, weren't you the only one under mind control or whatever?" you posed.

Bucky looked at you, tried to figure out why you were being so… persistently kind. Your logic made sense, and something in him considered believing it.

"I'm just saying," you continued, "You deserve to be here. And if you don't wanna accept that, then it can be like… Liam deserves for you to be here."

That, Bucky could get behind. He nodded. "Thank you," he said, awkward but earnest.

You shrugged it off, then took a slow step towards him. "Hug?"

He blinked stupidly, then nodded, opening his arms and letting you step into them. While you wrapped your arms loosely around his neck, Bucky hesitated for a moment, then slid his arms around you. People around the room, even the ones that didn't know Bucky, watched how his hands lingered in the air before settling on your back. They saw how he melted into the hug, let his head rest on your shoulder and closed his eyes.

When you stepped away from each other, he'd inherited some of your fairy glitter.

"I'll see you next time, I guess," you offered, letting your sentence trail off enough that Bucky could catch it if he wanted. There was room for him to say anything. But, he just nodded.

Bucky watched you walk away.

Sam appeared at his side. "So, are you gonna-" Sam said, the amusement clear in his tone.

"Don't," Bucky interrupted.

"She's clearly-"

"I said don't," Bucky snapped, walking out of the room.

Sam went to follow, worried he'd genuinely upset his friend, but he caught Steve's eye. A subtle shake of the head told him to stand down.

…

Although you buried it deep inside, there was some small part of you that thought maybe you'd hear from Bucky. You weren't exactly sure why you thought that was going to happen. It was easy to let that idea fall in the face of logic though; he was an Avenger… very busy… very private… etc. etc. Nonetheless, that small part stayed alight, and it fed your dreams all the way through to the next time you would cross paths with Bucky again.

It was a different hospital, but the same type of event. Sparkle and shine and cheer the kids up. Although there were less Avengers than the first, the children were entirely chuffed with meeting their heroes. And, this event had something the previous did not. Thor. His laugh bellowed all through the ward's corridors, providing a sharp contrast to the otherwise sterile mundane life of the hospital.

Thor promised the children that it wasn't that they weren't worthy of wielding Mjolner, it was that they just weren't ready yet. "You're far too little! When you're big and strong, like me!" He filled the children with more hope than they'd had in a long time.

Your attention constantly being drawn to the larger-than-life Asgardian was a welcomed distraction… You were trying to give Bucky space, deciding that if he wanted to talk to you, he could. You wouldn't push it. Two superheroes that apparently did want to talk to you, though, were Falcon and Captain America.

Like you were their mission, there was hardly a second where one of them wasn't by your side. Sam was entirely unhelpful, giving creative input to all the face painting. He made the kids laugh though, often at jokes that went over their innocent heads. It was his sassy tone they really liked. Steve was a little calmer, answering weird and wonderful questions only children could think up.

They were both charming, personable, and genuinely fun to be around, but what were they doing? Were they trying to coax Bucky in? Provide a buffer? Or, no… Maybe they were keeping you from him? Shaking the thought from your head, you simply blew bubbles and painted faces and covered the room in confetti.

You would have liked to say you didn't notice when Bucky slipped from the room, not returning, but that small part of you most definitely did. It most definitely noticed and you most definitely felt the effect of him not speaking to you, not even offering a smile across the room.

"Did I do something?" you finally asked Steve, not needing to explain the context.

"No… It's not you…" he answered, looking over at the door Bucky had left through. "He's just… He's trying…"

…

The children's ward was quiet. It was like that on Tuesday mornings. No events. Rounds over. Just the everyday life of sick children and distraught parents. As you walked down the corridor, you glanced through open doorways on your way to the nurses' station.

It was a hard place to be.

Something caught your eye and you stopped yourself a second too late, passing the room before you could see what it was. A flash of something. Stepping back, you snuck a look around the corner.

A sunbeam off vibranium. Bucky Barnes was folded next to a bed, his arms crossed on the edge of the mattress, his head resting on them. He was asleep. You took a step into the room, then looked to the occupant of the bed. Your heart dropped. Liam.

Liam was asleep in bed, sweating and small.

Cautiously, you crept further into the room. Neither of them stirred, so you took a chair on the opposite side of the bed to Bucky and reached over to pick up Liam's chart from the end of his bed. It didn't say a lot, just the need-to-know for nurse rotation. But you knew those medications enough to know it was bad. Really bad. The emotions caught were too big. You put the chart back; the plastic-hitting-plastic sound it made woke Bucky up. He shot up, chair almost knocked to the ground if it weren't for his reflexes. He looked across the bed at you then, recognition instant. A worried expression took over his face.

"Y/N?"

"He's sick again," you said, your voice sounding far away.

Bucky tracked your gaze to Liam. He nodded. "Yeah… They, ah… It came back… His parents went home to get some sleep. I said I'd stay." When you didn't move, didn't say anything, Bucky grew nervous. He could hardly handle his own reaction, let alone yours too. "They, the hospital, got in touch when he came back in. Said that… I could help. Make him feel… brave, or… I don't know.. It's been a couple weeks, but…"

He couldn't bring himself to say it and you didn't need to hear it.

"I've… I've got to… go…" you said.

When you stood up, you wobbled on the spot and tried to take a step to the door. Bucky was next to you before you even clocked him moving.

"Come on. Don't wanna wake him," Bucky whispered, helping you out of the room gently.

In the corridor, away from the door, you felt the wet hot tears roll down your face. Stupid, you thought to yourself, you should be used to this. It's happened before. The obvious and cruel downside to volunteering in the pediatric ward of a hospital.

Bucky stood in front of you, watching for only a couple seconds before pulling you into a hug. He squeezed you into his chest, your arms curled comfortably between him and you.

"He's talked about you. He'd wanna see you... Come back this afternoon and see him."

You nodded, keeping your eyes shut tightly.

"Okay," you tried, your voice squeaky and small.

"Okay," Bucky repeated, trying to channel the humanity pre-Hydra Bucky showed when Steve's mother passed away. He knew what to say and do then. "You're okay… Go… Go do what ya need to. We'll be here. I've got him," he said.

When he let you go, you felt cold. You wiped your tears, nodded once and looked up at him.

"Go," he prompted, and you nodded again, turning and walking away.

…

"Yeah, I don't know what that is,"

"Finding Nemo?!" Liam repeated, like if he said it louder Bucky was more likely to recognise the title.

You chuckled from the seat next to Bucky's.

"You knew?" he asked.

"Everyone knows just keep swimming, Buck," you told him with a shrug.

"Guess that's another one for the list then," he said, pulling his phone out and adding the film to his ever-growing list of 'to watch'.

Hours could go by like that. You, Liam, and Bucky sitting around, reciting movie quotes to each other. Guessing titles. Laughing at all the gaps in Bucky's pop culture knowledge. Liam loved feeling smarter than an adult, and he completely lost himself in hysterical laughter when Bucky burst out his chair in joy when he finally recognised a film.

"Star Wars!" Bucky had screamed so loud the nurse came in to shush him. "Luke, I am your father!" Bucky whispered at her, grinning ear to ear. Then there was the Harry Potter time. "I got tricked into watching them," Bucky had said, shaking his head. Apparently, during his stay in Wakanda, Shuri had convinced him that Scarlet Witch and those who attended Hogwarts were from the same breed. He should, she said, watch it so he understands Wanda Maximoff better. Shuri would remember Bucky's face forever when he came back from visiting Team Cap.

"My turn," Liam said. He thought for a second. "I'm gonna make you an offer you can't refuse," he said, his voice forced as deep as his tiny child body would allow.

"Woah! Who let you watch that?!" you said, completely horrified.

"My cousin David," Liam snitched immediately. "The horse head didn't even look real,"

"It didn't," Bucky confirmed, again, happy to identify The Godfather. "Alright, my turn… Ah… Okay. Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine."

You were as lost as Liam.

"We give up," Liam reported after maybe five seconds of thinking.

"Casablanca?! Come on, guys. It's a classic!" Bucky argued.

"God, you're showing your age," you teased.

"Alright, you do better,"

"Easy," you cleared your throat for dramatic effect, "To infinity and beyond!"

"TOY STORY!" both Liam and Bucky yelled in unison.

Liam then taught Bucky how to act out the "Buzz, will you get up here and give me a hand?" scene, complete with thrown prosthetic.

…

"Theeeeeee… beeeeestest… leaf!"

You and Bucky ran off in opposite directions. The hospital courtyard wasn't exactly bursting at the seams with nature, but it was enough to complete a little scavenger hunt.

On Liam's orders, you returned with the most impressive leaf you could find. Bucky was right behind you. Handing them over, Liam carefully considered them from his bunded up seat in his wheelchair.

"The winner is…" he said, pausing to cough. "Y/N!"

"What?!" Bucky screeched.

"Calm down. It's one-all," you reminded him. His feather was iridescent therefore better than your grey pigeon one.

Bucky grinned at you, ever competitive and ever aiming to make Liam happy. "Alright," he said. "What's next, little man?"

…

"Not today, guys," the nurse replied when you ask if Liam could go for a walk.

"Maybe we'll just read a couple chapters of The Lord of the Rings then, yeah?" you said, turning your suggestion to Bucky.

Bucky nodded solemnly, suddenly and deeply affected by the reminder of Liam's weakening state, of mortality.

Before entering Liam's room, you reached out and touched Bucky's arm. He stopped, looked at you with glossy eyes. You don't wanna see it, think it, but sadness didn't take away from Bucky's beauty.

"You okay?" you asked.

It was a loaded question and almost a rhetorical one. Bucky knew that. He didn't answer, just gave you a weak, lopsided smile.

"You Sam or Frodo today?" he asked, shaking it off and moving again.

…

For the whole time you'd known Bucky, his size had always been so obvious. Sitting beside children, beside Liam, he looked like a giant. Even next to the nurses that came and went he towered. Small hospital chairs. Small plastic cups. Small, sanitised rooms.

So, when you turned the corner and saw Bucky sitting on the floor of the pediatric ward's hallway, looking so fucking small, it stopped you in your tracks. His head was in his hands, and you knew what it meant.

Slowly, step by heavy step, you walked the hallway and came to stand in the doorway of what was once Liam's room. The bed had been stripped of linen, but wasn't yet made ready for the next patient. The charts were gone, and the many tubes and plastic bags of chemicals too. A crushed, empty juice box was on the ground.

Behind you, a nurse cleared her throat.

"Y/N… I'm so sorry… We tried to call ya this morning but-"

"I left my phone at home… I was running late. Locked myself out my apartment. Left half my kit there too. Was late to this fairy party gig I had downtown… Bad day… and-" you were rambling, tears slowly running down your face. The nurse's hand gently cupping your shoulder stopped you.

"S'alright, love… Nothing you could've done. But it's good you're here now. Reckon the Sergeant here might need a little TLC, yeah?"

Nodding, you wiped your tears away on the sleeve of your hoodie. Suddenly, it felt ridiculous to be wearing a pink tutu.

The nurse left you alone with Bucky.

Bucky, who had not moved a single inch since you arrived. Bucky, who looked small. Bucky.

"Let's go," you said, kneeling on the lino floor in front of him. "Think maybe a crying fairy and ah, statue Winter Soldier might confuse the kids… So… let's go."

You thought maybe he wasn't going to reply, but he lifted his head, faced up. Bucky's eyes were rimmed red, but they were dry. He looked haunted. Shaking his head the smallest amount, he told you, "I… I can't… can't leave him…"

"Okay… Okay, yeah. Um…" You looked up and down the hallway, trying to think while your head was drowning in grief. "Alright, um… My van is downstairs, in the lot. Let's just… I don't know, get that far."

Bucky just starred at you. For one… two… three… "Yeah, okay," he agreed, standing.

He didn't say a word as he followed you into the elevator and down to the carpark. People tried to not stare as you walked by.

Arriving at your van, you opened the back and shoved some things out of the way, pulling the small mattress and pillows down from where they were propped up against the side. Turning to face Bucky, you read the confusion in his face.

"Oh, ah… I don't live in it… I just…" There was no point in sugar-coating at that point. "I spend half my time around sick kids, you know? I need somewhere to be when it gets too much. Somewhere to… cry or sleep for an hour or whatever."

Bucky looked from the van to you, gave you a small nod of acknowledgement.

"We can just stay here… for as long as you need…" you offered, feeling embarrassment swell in you, but it quickly gave way to the apathy summoned by abject grief.

If Bucky thought it was weird, he didn't say and you wouldn't have cared. He didn't though. He moved to sit where he could politely unlace his boots and nudge them under the van, then he scooted back onto the mattress, laid down. You crawled in after him, closing the doors behind you.

He'd returned to his state of seeming too big for his surroundings, curled up in the back of your van. When you laid down next to him, he looked over at you. "Thank you," he said, voice croaky.

As tears began to form in his eyes, you had the grace to pretend not to notice. "I think there's a blanket somewhere…" You sat up, looking over a box of costume fairy wings. Before you could locate the blanket, Bucky's arms wrapped gently around your waist, pulling you into him.

Your back was to his chest, his face buried somewhere between your neck and the pillow.

"I'll keep you warm," Bucky said, "Hold me closer." So, you did, putting your arms over his and threading your fingers between his. You didn't need to be kept warm, but he needed to hold onto something solid, someone living, breathing, real, and there. He needed you.

…

Usually, sleeping in the back of the van was fine. When a super soldier was taking up 80% of the space, however… different story. You lasted forty minutes before snaking your way out, jumping over the front bench seat to sit behind the wheel.

Bucky was definitely dead to the world. You could hear his heavy sleep-induced breathing. But, you couldn't just drive off with him in the back. That would pretty much be kidnapping an Avenger, right? You looked over the seat at Bucky. Waking him up seemed like an equally bad idea, both practically and morally speaking. He was so peaceful.

So, against your better judgement, you got out, grabbed his boots, and jumped back in, putting the key in the ignition and turning.

At every car horn, New York pedestrian, and sharp turn, you glanced over to see if he'd been startled awake. Alas, sleeping beauty. After about fifteen minutes of sitting on your phone when you'd arrived home, parked in the back lot of your apartment complex, you ran out of feeds to refresh. Leaving the car key close to Bucky, where he'd see it, you left him there, figuring he'd probably be able to defend himself if anyone tried to steal the van.

Hours later, close to midnight, you found yourself walking around your place, lost and teary. Pulling your nightgown on, you left your apartment and ventured outside. It was cold. That type of night time chill that only exists when you're at your most sad. Bone freezing. Visible breathing.

There was no reply when you knocked on the back door of the van. Opening it, you were startled by Bucky's upright frame. He was sitting awake, back to the interior wall.

"Buck?"

No reply.

You were a little scared. Unsure of what to do next.

"I… I thought you could use the sleep. We're at my place now…"

Still, nothing.

"Do you want to come inside?"

You chewed your lip for a second, waited, but he remained still. His super soldier body would be fine without food or water for a little while longer, you reasoned. And, he constantly radiated heat.

"I'm apartment 5C. Come up when you're ready."

He didn't look over as you closed the door and retreated back into the safety of your home. There, you cried. Grieved. Tried to sleep. You told yourself you would make him come inside in the morning.

…

The sun rose red over New York City. You'd left your blinds open all night; waking up to natural like was meant to be good for you. Sitting up, you stretched the last remnants of a restless sleep off your heavy body and stepped out of bed.

Maybe Bucky got himself in overnight. Crept in through an unlocked window. Used some sort of superhero technology to unlock the front door. He wasn't on the couch, though, or anywhere in the apartment.

Teeth brushed and coffee brewing, you once again donned the nightgown and headed outside.

At least he's lying down, you thought, opening the van door.

Bucky was back under the blanket. He was awake, the lines under his eyes deep set and sharing space with purple shadows.

"Come on," you said. "You can't stay here. People are gonna come looking for you."

Slowly, Bucky rolled his head to the side to look at you. Previously, he was staring at the van ceiling. "Steve knows," he told you, throwing his phone over. It landed on the blanket with a gentle thud.

You didn't pick it up.

Bucky continued, "Messaged him last night. Phone's dead now,"

"Um… okay… Well, you should still come inside. There's more room,"

"I'm fine."

It wasn't defiance as much as it was apathy. You wanted to say something. Anything. Be reassuring. But to be honest, you were surprised by his grief.

Surely, the Winter Solider knew loss. Surely, he'd mourned and learnt to cope.

No… No, this was different, you told yourself. The first child who passed away when you started working with the hospitals destroyed you. It took a month to even go back to the pediatric ward. Since then, you'd put things into perspective and learnt to process everything a bit better. Not as equipped as the doctors and nurses to do so, but able enough to survive the pain.

The pain. Entirely unique. Something Bucky hadn't felt before.

He really thought he'd felt all the types of bad there was to feel. He really thought he was no longer able to love. Besides Steve. And Sam. Wanda. Nat. Shuri… Okay, so he was kidding himself. Still. It fucking hurt.

…

Around lunch, you took Bucky some food. Around dinner, you found it untouched but replaced it anyway.

It was a Sunday night. In the morning you were expected over at the palliative care centre. Reading aloud to the patients helps.

At 5:30 am, you woke from a fever dream. After shoving the sheets in the apartment building's basement washer, you called the centre.

"Oh, no worries, Y/N," they told you. "Sally's bringin' her new puppy in today. That ought to bring some cheer to the place anyway."

Guilt alleviated only slightly, you trekked to the van.

At least he'd nibbled on dinner at some point.

"Bucky?"

It was dark still, the sun only just waking up. You could make out Bucky's form in amongst your stuff.

"You have to come inside today. I…" Guilt. Maybe a guilt trip would work. "I need my van for work…" It almost sounded like a question. "And, I'm sure you've got things you need to do…" No response. "Superhero stuff?"

A muffled snort, but nothing else.

…

"Any chance you can just leave him there?"

For a second, you thought Steve was joking. The silence at the end of the line said otherwise.

"Ah, I mean, it's been almost two days,"

"I can get a car sent over to you if-"

"No," you interrupted. "That's not it. I'm just… Is this normal?"

Steve sighed. "There's not a normal for us, Y/N. There's just… coping… day by day."

Holding in tears, you nodded to yourself. "Yeah, okay. I, ah, just wanted to check in. See if there's anything I should be doing,"

"I'd wager that you're already doing it… It means something that he's chosen to be near you. He could have run. He does sometimes. So, really, for him, this is… progress. He trusts you."

You're weren't sure what you'd done to deserve that.

"Thanks, Steve,"

"Anytime. Call anytime, Y/N."

When you'd phone Stark Tower looking for help, you didn't really expect to be taken seriously. As it turned out, they were waiting for your call.

…

To your relief, Bucky was sitting up when you opened the van doors around 5 pm. He watched in interest as you awkwardly climbed in, handing him the tray you were carrying so you could settle in next to him.

"Choc chip cookies and tea," you announced, not letting him give the tray back. "And I'm not leaving until you drink your cup and have at least two cookies."

Bucky looked down at the presentation in his lap. "Guess I can't argue with that."

You chewed your cookie slowly, making sure you'd not finish before him.

"Did you make these?"

"Yeah… I bake when I'm… Whatever," you replied.

He nodded, then took another bite.

"You called Steve?"

"How'd-"

Bucky shrugged. "Just figured you would. What'd he say?"

"Um… That you're okay here," you told him.

Bucky didn't reply, instead picked up his mug of tea and held it between his palms. The china softly chinked against his left hand.

You wanted to ask if he was indeed okay, but you weren't sure of what you'd be able to say if he lied. Or told the truth. Or anything in between.

When the tray was empty of food, you climbed out of the van, and half-heartedly asked if he was coming inside.

"I'm fine here," was his equally half-hearted reply.

Together, maybe, you could make a whole person, something functioning and able to cope better than either of you were doing alone.

Back inside your apartment, you ran out of plain flour and dishes to clean. All that was left to do was mourn.

…

It had been three nights and days since you'd arrived home from the hospital. Almost eighty hours of saying goodbye to Liam and telling yourself to be grateful that you knew him, and that you were able to help him laugh and find joy in his final few weeks. Hours of phone calls to friends, family, and your favourite nurses. Hours of standing at your apartment door, ready to march down to the van and pull Bucky out by his boots. Hours of it all.

Like all things though, good or bad, it was waning and you were beginning to see how you could survive.

You were sitting at the kitchen bench, practising your pipe cleaner and pom pom crown-making skills when there was a knock on the door. Glancing at your phone as you stood, you thought it was around dinner time. Probably next door, asking to borrow an egg. Or the old lady from down the hall that always made too much lasagne.

Without checking the peephole, you opened the door with your best polite smile ready.

Bucky.

The sight of him hit you, not like a tidal wave, but a waist-deep wave that knocks you back unexpectedly. You stumbled, had to refocus. Felt a little out of control.

Out of the mess of the back of the van, it was easier to see how utterly fucked he looked. His long hair was ratty, visibly knotted in parts. Expression strung out, he looked like he was in amphetamine withdrawal. His skin was too shiny, and his clothes were crumpled and damp in places.

Bucky went to speak, but the words got caught in his throat. He looked pained, then sniffled and wiped his nose on the back of his hoodie's arm.

Without any warning, you burst into tears.

Your hands went up to cup your mouth but it was too late. The sobs were heaving up from deep inside you, and Bucky was born with too much empathy to not be affected. Tears began to roll down his face.

And that was it. Any pretence or attempt to be stoic was entirely dissolved. You crumbled into each other.

Bucky wrapped his arms around you and you pressed your head hard into his chest, almost pushing against him like you were trying to push the feelings out of yourself.

"I know," he whispered, kissing the top of your head.

As his arms tightened around your body, you could feel how it was calming you. It was only a short term relief from the grief, but it was the very least Bucky could think to do. Holding you wasn't going to make anything better, but it made you both feel less alone.

Showers and fuzzy bed socks. Hot cocoa and trashy television. Sleeping close. Waking up together.

From the deep unwanted darkness of grief, something was determined to find a way to grow.

Tag list (open): @browngirlmagic @lookalivefrosty @aynaraxas @vibraniumwitch @the--sad--hatter @bubbabarnes

(not sure if you want to be tagged in new fics @animegirlgeeky?)

#Bucky Barnes #Mine #Bucky Barnes x Reader #Bucky Barnes/Reader #Bucky Barnes x Y/N #Bucky Barnes/Y/N #Bucky Barnes x You #Bucky Barnes/You #Bucky Barnes fic #Bucky Barnes fanfic #Bucky Barnes imagine #Marvel fanfic #niks1kwritingchallenge

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reidingandwriting · 5 years ago

Text

The Archer

Word Count: ~3200 words

Ship: Clint Barton x Stark!Sister, Tony Stark x Stark!Sister (brotherly/platonic role) Loki x Stark!Sister (platonic) Natasha x Stark!Sister (platonic)

Warnings: Language, a few moments of an unhealthy relationship, a tiny bit of violence

A/N: This was requested by @stellastyless, I hope you like it!! I’ve never done a fic focused on Clint as a major character, so I hope I portrayed him well 🥺 This was my first request, I hope I didn’t let you down, darling! This one is not reader-insert due to a requested character!

✨ Masterlist ✨

Katanas: twin swords

Scabbard: sheath for swords

As the younger sister of Tony Stark, you spent the last few years of your life with the superhero team called the Avengers. You had your brother’s personality and where he excelled in the sciences, you excelled in fighting. You weren’t an enhanced individual nor did you have a special suit like many of the other members of the team, but with your agility, intelligence, and skill with your katanas, you were a valuable member to the team. You got along with the Avengers pretty well, except for one person: Clint Barton. To put it nicely, you had an interesting relationship with the archer known as Hawkeye. Truthfully? You considered each other rivals.

Your personalities were too similar, both fought for dominance. Every sarcastic remark and sassy quip you made knew how to rub Clint the wrong way. You were just as stubborn as your older brother, the true mark of a Stark, and your temper wasn’t much better. Tony figured it would take some for the two of you to learn to tolerate each other, but even after years of working together, the love-hate relationship you two shared leaned very close towards hatred more than love. And god forbid you two disagree on anything.

“Tonight!”

“Tomorrow!”

“Tonight!” You slammed your palm on the table, brown eyes narrowed as you held eye contact with Clint.

“My god, does it matter? It’s literally movie night, it isn’t that serious.” Tony groaned. “Brucey, I know I said I’m sober, but they’re about to drive me to drinking again.”

***

“I told you to go left!” Clint’s voice sounded through the comms, and you rolled your eyes. You lifted your hand to your ear, speaking.

“I’m sorry, Cap. I must have missed the debriefing where we decided Clint was the boss of me.” The sarcasm dripped from your tongue and you heard the familiar strangled groan fill your ears.

“Can we continue the lovers spat later, please? Maybe at a time we aren’t on a battlefield? Barton, Romanoff needs covering. Stark, board the quinjet, I’ve sent my coordinates to Banner. He’s waiting for you, I’ll need backup. Can we handle that?”

“On it.”

***

On the other end of your relationship, you had each other’s backs. No one was allowed to beat on Barton except for you and vice versa. You two were both skilled with your weapons, and you often trained together. You were the first person he’d come to after a mission, and you did the same. During weekly movie nights, you always found yourself settled into the couch beside him, a blanket draped over both of your laps, sharing a bowl of popcorn. Quit hogging the popcorn, you ass! To mend Tony’s ego, you sometimes sat beside your brother, but your gaze was often drawn to Clint. The peaceful moments between you two were seldom, but much enjoyed- by you two and everyone else in the compound.

“Damn. You made it back after all.” You stood in the hangar, hands on your hips as you watched the battered team come out of the jet.

“Couldn’t leave my favorite Stark without giving her this.” Clint reached in his pocket and you watched as he pulled his hand out, showing you his middle finger. You shot him a glare, but the playful smirk on your lips showed your true emotions.

“Tones, take him back wherever you came from. I enjoyed the silence without him.” Tony’s laughter followed and he stepped ahead of Clint, pulling you into his arms. You hugged him back tightly, sticking your tongue out at Clint who lightly brushed shoulders with you as he walked into the compound.

***

“Barton.” Your voice echoed through the empty living room, your footsteps silent as you approached the man sitting on the couch. “You were supposed to meet me outside half an hour ago. I didn’t get dolled up,” you gestured to your outfit consisting of athletic shorts and a sports bra, “to be stood up.”

“Sorry.” Clint wringed his hands together, brows slightly furrowed in a grimace as he looked up at you. “Hands have been killing me lately, nothing’s been helping.” You frowned and silently sat on the floor in front of him. You took his left hand in yours and gently rubbed your thumb over his knuckles. “What are you-”

“What’s it look like? Massaging your hands.” You gave him a ‘duh’ expression, applying light pressure as you massaged each knuckle and down his hand. “You may be one of the best archers I’ve ever met, but you aren’t immune to wear and tear on the old joints. It’s not a cure by any means, but it can temporarily help ease the pressure in your hands.” You explained as you continued, switching to his right hand a few moments later.

“Aww, you do care.” Clint teased. He paused for a second before speaking again. “Thank you, by the way. You didn’t have to do this.”

“I know.” You offered him a small smile before looking back down. “But it won’t be nearly as fun annoying you if you’re in too much pain to fight me back.”

“You truly are something else, Stark.”

***

You two also worked together on missions fluidly, as if you were one. You could anticipate his moves before he even made them, and he brought in different perspectives that you never would have seen. You often took the lead in missions, and Clint trusted your decisions- these things made Fury partner you up together more often than not. You were on another mission now, collecting information on a possible new weapon of mass destruction being created by one of the few remaining HYDRA bases.

“There’s our guy.” Clint’s voice spoke through your comms and you brushed your hair over your shoulder, speaking into the earpiece.

“Copy that. I’ll give you the signal once it’s safe for you to pass.” You held your head high as you walked to the HYDRA agent standing guard, clad in a disguise made to look like the HYDRA uniform. You were there to distract the agent guarding the hall while Clint gathered all the files regarding the new weapon.

“Excuse me! What are you doing down here?” The agent took in your face. “I haven’t seen you before.”

“I’m sorry, sir.” You tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear, standing inches away from him. “I’ve been at a different base for most of my time here. My director sent me here, and I had to learn from the best.” You rested your hand on his arm, sending him a smile. “You’re Spiel, right?”

“You’ve heard of me?” His accent was thick and his brows were furrowed.

“Of course! We all have. The moment I found out you were working where I was, I insisted that I get to learn from someone who was the best, and everyone says that would be you.” The agent’s lips curved into a smug smile, and you knew you had him distracted as he turned to face you. You sent the subtle signal to Clint, and Clint silently made his way down the hall and into the room with the new HYDRA files. You continued to flirt with the agent and minutes later, you heard the archer’s voice faintly through your earpiece.

“I’ve got the files we need. I’ll meet you at the extraction point, I’m stepping in if I don’t see you in five.” You looked up at the guard, noticing how much closer he got during your conversation. You tried to excuse yourself, giving him some bullshit excuse, stopping as his hand grabbed your shoulder.

“How about we meet for drinks tomorrow night? I’d love to hear all the stories you’ve heard about me.” The arrogant smirk on his face made you want to scoff, but you gave him an award winning smile.

“Why not tonight?” The man opened his mouth to speak, stopping when you both heard Clint’s voice.

“There you are, darling!” You could see the fire in Clint’s eyes and you assumed it was from how close the guard was to you. Recognition took over the guard’s face and he began to call for backup as Clint grabbed him, knocked him out, and let his body slide down the wall. “Sweet dreams.” And with that, Clint walked out of the base with you and you boarded the quinjet, going back to the compound you called home.

———

“Barton! Can I talk to you for a minute?” Steve asked as he walked into the gym. Clint looked up at Steve and nodded. Clint walked over and stopped in front of him.

“What’s up, Cap?”

“I was wondering if you’d like to teach Stella archery. She’s expressed interest in learning, and I thought you could teach her. If you don’t want to, I can find someone who will teach her.” Steve added when he sensed hesitation in Clint’s body language.

“No, no, no. I can handle it. Besides, bringing someone new in?” Clint shook his head. “I can teach her.”

“Great. I’ll go tell her while you get ready.” As Steve walked off, Clint sighed to himself.

“What have you gotten yourself into?”

———

“Okay, Stella.” Clint spoke and stood beside you. “Nock the bow.” You felt for the notch in the arrow and lined it up with the bow. “Good. Now, draw.” You lifted the bow into position, pulling the bowstring back. “Wait.” You rolled your eyes as Clint stopped you again.

“You sure are saying wait a lot, but I don’t see you helping me.” You snapped, your frustration evident. You had been practicing with Clint for what felt like hours, but every time you went to release the arrow, you were stopped. “Can you help me? Please?” Clint’s face softened at your ‘please’ and he walked over immediately.

“Here.” Clint’s chest was so close to your back, you could feel the heat radiating off him. His hands rested on yours, guiding your hands into the correct position. Your hands tingled at the touch and while it felt odd, it also felt sort of nice? “Now, release.” You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding before releasing the arrow. Bullseye.

“I did it!” You threw your arms around Clint, surprising yourself and him. Clint hesitated before hugging you back, smiling wide.

“You did amazing, Stella.” Clint hugged you tight once more before letting you go. He opened his mouth to speak again but his gaze drifted towards Natasha a few feet away. Natasha was sparring with Steve and Clint glanced at Stella again. “I’ll be right back, Stark.” Stella watched as Clint walked to Natasha and you felt a weird feeling in the pit of your stomach. You shook your head and faced the targets and tried to focus on your archery practice. After your gaze repeatedly went to Clint, you sighed and walked over to Clint and Natasha.

“Nat. Can I borrow Barton for a minute?” You called out as Natasha took a drink from her water bottle. She waved her hand, sending Clint over with you. “Sorry for stealing you. I think I need some more help.” Your tone was apologetic and Clint smiled at you.

“Of course, Stel. Let’s try again.”

———

Everyone thought you and Clint had made progress during your archery lessons, but the peace was very short-lived. You sat on a bench in Tony’s workshop, hands gesturing wildly as you talked about the fight you and Clint had after a mission the other day.

“I swear, it's like you have a death wish!” Clint paced as you sat on a bed in the med bay, getting a wound in your side treated. “I told you to stay put, but you didn’t. And now look at you!”

“I’m fine, Clint.” The nonchalant tone in your voice only furthered Clint’s anger. “I moved out of the way in time, and I don’t need you or anyone else babysitting me. I get enough of that from Tony, thank you.”

“Clearly not enough, or you wouldn’t be here. What if you hadn’t moved? What if you would have been alone? You could have died, Stark.”

“But I didn’t, Barton. So calm the hell down.” Clint stormed out after that, and you didn’t see him for the rest of the day.

And let’s not forget the fist-fight he recently got in because of you.

“Clint! Get off him!” You jumped off the barstool, Natasha and you pulling Clint off a man at the other end of the bar. Natasha sent the man a glare cold enough to freeze a desert and he scampered away, blood dripping from his nose and eye swollen shut. You grabbed Clint’s arm, dragging him out through the back of the bar. “What the hell was that?”

“He was being a damn pervert. The black eye ought to teach him a lesson if the bloody nose doesn’t.” You sighed, running your fingers through your hair.

“I heard him, I know he deserved it. But you can’t just start fights with every drunk in a bar that makes inappropriate comments about me, Nat, or anyone. They aren’t worth it.” You looked down at his hands and frowned. “Those need to be disinfected and wrapped when we’re back. Let’s get Red and we can leave.”

***

Natasha wrapped Clint’s hands, letting him rant as she listened silently. When he stopped, she spoke.

“You like her.” Clint’s eyes widened and he stammered.

“W-what are you talking about? Me and Stella? As if.” Clint protested and Natasha shook her head fondly, smirking to herself.

“You’ve never been in a bar fight for me.” Natasha said.

“You can handle yourself.” Clint responded.

“And she can’t?” Natasha countered.

“I didn’t say that!” Clint exclaimed.

“You kind of did.” Clint groaned and stood up.

“You’re impossible. I’m going to bed.” Natasha sent him an over-friendly wave and Clint shot her the middle finger as he left.

“Clueless, the both of them. Completely and utterly clueless.”

———

“Tony! Are you even listening?” You groaned, your brother’s gaze never leaving his project.

“I’ll be honest, I tuned out everything after ‘Barton.’ But on the bright side, your ranting makes great background noise.” Tony held up the finished product, wincing at the glare you were sending him. “I know you’re frustrated, kid. Have you talked to him about it?” You paused for a moment before scoffing, and you hopped off the bench.

“Talking, yeah. That fixes everything.” You walked towards the door.

“Stella.” You stopped as Tony called out your name. “I’m serious. Maybe he doesn’t see that he’s acting like a babysitter more than your teammate. Consider talking to him. If that doesn’t work, I’m sure Reindeer Games has ideas.” You rolled your eyes at the nickname your brother gave Loki.

“Loki always has ideas.” You stepped out of the lab, calling out a goodbye to Tony as you walked to the elevator. “FRI, to Loki’s floor, please.”

“As you wish, Ms. Stark.” As you made your way up to Loki’s room to continue the conversation you started with Tony, you knew you had to talk to Clint sooner or later. Later will have to work, you thought as you walked into Loki’s bedroom. Early the next morning, unknown to you and Clint, your brother and best friends were scheming in the living room.

***

“As much as I hate the idea of my sister dating Legolas, their game of who can be more oblivious is really getting old.” Tony spoke before he took a drink of coffee, sat on the couch with Natasha and Loki.

“We’ve tried everything.” Natasha leaned back against the couch, frustrated. “We’ve had them train exclusively with each other. They always go on missions together, and we’ve left them alone in the compound more times than I can count. They’re both too stubborn to make the first move.” A lightbulb went off in Loki’s head, and he spoke up.

“There is one thing we could do.” Loki explained his plan, and the three agreed to execute it as soon as possible.

———

“Anthony Edward Stark, you asshole! Let me out of this damn room!” You pounded against the door, FRIDAY’s voice responding.

“I apologize, Miss Stark. The room has been soundproofed, no one can hear you.” You cursed up at the ceiling.

“The second I’m out of here, I’m kicking his ass.” You grumbled and Clint rolled his eyes.

“Listen, I’m not happy about this either, but yelling isn’t doing anything. Neither is your complaining. Can we just talk so they can let us out?” You spun towards Clint, an anger in your eyes he hadn’t seen in a long time.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know I wasn’t allowed to be irritated without your approval. I’ll be sure to schedule it next time.” Clint stalked towards you, neither of you backing down.

“Why are you always so difficult?”

“I could ask you the same question, Barton.”

“Because you act like a child, Stark!”

“You make me act that way!”

“And there we go again.” Clint’s eyes narrowed. “Why can’t you accept responsibility instead of pushing the blame onto everyone else?” You growled, going to shove his chest but his hands wrapped around your wrists, stopping you. Your strength wavered when you spoke again.

“Why can’t you treat me like we’re equals?” Clint froze, surprised at the 180 you had made. “You act like you’re above me, like I really am some child you have to babysit instead of an equal member of the team.”

“I… I didn’t know you felt that way. I never meant to make you feel like that, and I’m sorry for treating you like I was above you. I’ve never considered you to be below me, Stella. You’re such an important part of this team, and you’re important to me- us. You’re important to all of us.” Clint had calmed down by now, and you stood inches apart.

“I know you didn’t mean to. I just, it frustrated me that you treated me like I was a kid. Because I really like you, and I thought you hated me.” Your eyes widened when you realized your slip-up. “I didn’t mean to say that. Or didn’t mean that. You know how I get when I get worked up, I go on and on and-” You were cut off by Clint’s lips meeting yours, and you melted into his touch as you kissed him back. You two were interrupted by the sounds of Natasha and Loki cheering over the intercom, and your brother making sounds of disgust. You laughed and looked up at Clint.

“I really like you too, Stella. If our meddling friends let us out, we can change and maybe go out for dinner?” The door clicked open and you two ran out of the room, off to your rooms to get ready for your first of many dates.

Taglist: @daughter-of-stark @agent-barnes40 @spideygirl2003 @ditttiii @5aftermidnight @stellastyless ❤️ Taglist and requests are OPEN!

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thewickedmerman · 4 years ago

Text

My Fan-Cast for the Live-Action Remake of The Swan Princess

As some of you might be aware, there is going to be a potential live-action remake of the 1994 animated classic, The Swan Princess. The original movie is one of my all-time favorite movies, not just in animation but in general. It has fantastic songs, a lovely score, great characters, beautiful animation, a cool villain, awesome action scenes, funny comedy, and an engaging romance. So I am both very excited and cautious about the live-action remake, due to how much the animated movie means to be (I was actually born only twenty-one days before the movie was released in theaters). I don’t want it to be an exact copy but rather tell it in a new way while staying true to the original, as well as justify its existence. The creators of the original Swan Princess, it’s two hand-drawn sequels, and its terrible CGI movies are wanting to make a live-action remake of the classic. They are really awesome with how they interact with their fans and even accept that most of the fans really hate the computer animated movies. They appreciate praise and criticism, unlike some studios that only want praise. Anyway, they created a concept trailer, which is pretty much like what a pilot for a TV series is. It’s to give an idea of what it could be rather than being a finished product, so the actors in it aren’t necessarily going to be in the actual movie, as well as the effects/CGI not being finished. They are looking for the right studio to help make the film a reality. To get an idea, here is the concept trailer.

youtube

Anyway, despite being a little nervous about the movie, I am also excited for it because I want to see how they bring it to life. Besides, just like many fans, I’d much rather see a live-action remake of The Swan Princess than one of their computer animated movies, but I won’t go into that. Something I will go into is my dream-cast for this movie. As many of you know, I have a thing for doing my own fan-casts for movies. I’ve even made a video of my fan-casting choices as well, which I will include at the very end of this, which shows their acting and singing abilities. However, I did not include the animal sidekicks (Jean-Bob, Speed, and Puffin) or Bromley and I replaced Bridget (The hag and Rothbart’s little minion) with Rothbart’s daughter from the original Swan Lake ballet, the Black Swan herself, Odile. Let me be clear, I have nothing against those characters AT ALL. I love all of them! However, I feel like their very cartoony and Looney Tunes style of humor wouldn’t work in a live-action setting. So without further ado, here are my casting choices.

Jennifer Morrison as Odette’s Mother

If you have seen Disney’s live-action remakes, you’d know that they have a thing for actually showing the dead mothers of Disney Princesses. Cinderella’s mother, Belle’s mother, they revealed that Ariel’s mother is going to be in the live-action remake of The Little Mermaid, and while Jasmine’s mother didn’t make a physical appearance, she was mentioned a lot. So why not do the same with The Swan Princess? It could be added to the prologue and have her die giving birth. Jennifer Morrison has proven in Once Upon a Time that she is really incredible in labor scenes. Emma giving birth to Henry is considered one of Jennifer Morrison’s best performances, if not her absolute best. She also has a beautiful singing voice, which could make for a lovely new song in the movie, like a lullaby to Odette before she dies from childbirth. Maybe it would be one that could foreshadow Odette’s journey like the song “All is Found” from Disney’s Frozen II. Plus, Emma Swan is basically the Odette of the Once Upon a Time world. She’s too old to play Odette but she can still play her mother.

Kevin Kline as King William

I instantly thought of him for King William because of his role in the live-action remake of Beauty and the Beast. He showed such tenderness and a loving fatherly nature as Maurice that he would be perfect for King William, who is protective of nurturing towards Odette. He can also be funny and charming, which is another part of King William. He’d be able to show what a loving father and an entertaining character he is, which will make his death all the more heartbreaking and you could even show flashbacks to Odette’s childhood that shows how much she misses her father. The live-action remake should show more of how Odette is traumatized by her father’s death and how she didn’t get to say goodbye, hug him one last time, or tell him that she loves him for the very last time (But still have the main focus be on her relationship with Derek and try to develop it further). So it would add a layer of depth and complexity to Odette’s character and showing some flashbacks of their bond will make her refusal to give Rothbart her father’s kingdom even more powerful than it already is. She’d also wonder if she’d be the kind of queen he wanted her to be or he would be proud of, which he would be because she’d be putting the needs of her people ahead of her own by not giving into Rothbart. Kevin Kline is a strong actor that would exemplify everything that would make for a great King William and help with Odette’s own journey as a character with her wanting to make him proud. Not to mention that Kevin Kline has Broadway experience and can really sing. He actually has a better voice than what he had displayed in the remake of Beauty and the Beast, which will be important for the musical sequence, “This is My Idea.”

Josh Gad as Chamberlain

I can’t imagine anyone else as Chamberlain! I mean, he’s flamboyant, he’s hilarious, he doesn’t rely on shouting or being loud for humor, he can be subtle, he can act, he can dance, he has so much charisma, and he can sing. Josh Gad IS Chamberlain! His credits speak for themselves with his Broadway work, voice acting, and film work. Sure, his singing voice is higher than Chamberlain’s but he actually can sing in a lower register. Even if he can’t, he still has a phenomenal voice and so much energy that it wouldn’t really matter. He’d bring alive the musical sequence, “Princesses on Parade.” He’d be able to make the humor of Chamberlain feel like it’s more natural in the live-action remake the same way he managed to make Lefou feel more grounded in the live-action remake of Beauty and the Beast.

Sandy Duncan as Queen Uberta

This won’t take much explanation because of the fact that she is the original voice actress for Queen Uberta in the original film. She’s the right age to play her in live-action and even said she could do Uberta now. She’s known as “Funny Girl, Sandy Duncan” for a reason. She will be able to bring Uberta to life with her humor, charm, quirkiness, and charisma. But also show her caring and motherly side. Besides, it would be a great callback to the original movie to have her reprise her role in live-action.

David Hyde Pierce as Lord Rogers

This would be absolutely PERFECT! I mean, if you have seen him in his most iconic role, Niles Crane from the sitcom Frasier, you’d know he would be able to capture the dry wit that Rogers is known for. He can also do physical comedy as well, which Rogers does some of. Not to mention he can also pull off the wise and caring mentor aspect that Rogers is to Derek. He has such an appealing sounding speaking voice that is 100% right for Rogers. He’s the right age and still has a lot of energy in him, despite his age. He also has Broadway experience, so he’d be able to pull off the singing aspect as well.

Bella Thorne as Odile

I know a lot of people hate on Bella Thorne, but that doesn’t change what a brilliant actress she is with A LOT of experience. She’s been acting since she was six-years-old and even played a villain at the age of eleven (Maybe even younger) in the movie Forget Me Not. She has experience playing villains in movies like The Duff, You Get Me, The Babysitter, and The Babysitter: Killer Queen. She can be very frightening, especially in You Get Me, despite the film not being very good. Just the look of her eyes shows how intimidating she is. She can be very sassy and make it come off as very natural and not feel forced. She puts her heart and soul into every role she’s in. It’s always clear that she is giving it her all. While her movie Infamous was received negatively, her performance received critical acclaim. One critic in particular compared her talents to award winning actress, Sandra Bullock. Her acting talents have even been praised by award winning actress, Jessica Chastain, as well as many other celebrities that just loved working with her (Which is pretty much everyone she’s worked with). She’s very seductive, which Odile is known for, and is absolutely gorgeous. She also has a lovely singing voice. Nothing great but still good enough for a movie musical. If they included her in the movie and decided to make her a redeemable villain, Bella Thorne would be able to show that with her wide range of acting. Crying real tears is something that comes very easily to her. She’d be able to show the complexity and dimensions of the character.

Either way, it makes much more sense to have Odile be in the role of the Black Swan instead of Bridget. The Fake Odette is supposed to act seductive and also give Derek some hesitation to show that he has a feeling something isn’t right. It shows how he isn’t only interested in Odette because of her looks. This makes more sense with Odile because her behavior and mannerisms should be more like her own rather than like Odette’s, which doesn’t work with Bridget. In all the scenes that Bridget is in, she’s very comedic, wacky, silly, and over-the-top in her behavior and mannerisms. That makes her entertaining, but it doesn’t make sense in the context of the Black Swan trick. Just an observation I have. Not to mention that it could give Rothbart more motivation for wanting the kingdom, because of his love for his daughter. Besides, a lot of fans are hoping that Odile will be in the live-action remake. In my opinion, Bella Thorne is the only real choice for the Black Swan. She’s a phenomenal actress, she’s a good singer, she’s sexy and seductive, and she’s gorgeous. With a major movie like this, she could end up getting an Oscar nomination for Best Supporting Actress and have people finally take her seriously as an actress. I think she’s the most talented actor on this fan-cast list (I don’t care what anyone says) and that is saying something because this cast is phenomenally talented.

Toby Stephens as Rothbart

First of all, I cast a real redhead as Rothbart because I’m not ignoring gingerism like a lot of people are. Second of all, talent is in his blood, since he is the son of critically acclaimed actors, Robert Stephens and Maggie Smith. With brilliant talents like that for parents, you know that he has to be a brilliant talent as well. He is a phenomenal actor with many credits to his name. He’d be able to capture the gruffness of Rothbart but also the class, anger, sinister nature, wit, and energetic charisma of the character. He can also sing, though out of all the actors here, he has the weakest voice. However, his voice suits the character. It’s deep and raspy, which is perfect for the musical sequence, “No More Mr. Nice Guy.” He’s the second most talented actor on here, next to Bella Thorne, which makes sense because villains tend to be the ones to steal the show. Everyone loves a good villain. Honestly, I can’t imagine anyone else as Rothbart but Toby Stephens.

Derek Klena as Prince Derek

I mean, he already has the name for it, though that had nothing to do with this casting choice. He has an incredible singing voice and a lot of Broadway experience. He even played another Non-Disney hero on Broadway in the musical Anastasia as the love interest, Dimitri. YES! I’m aware that Disney bought 20th Century Fox and therefore own Anastasia. However, I still don’t consider Anastasia to be Disney. Anyway, his voice has a love of passion, power, tenderness, and is just the voice of a prince. He also has experience in screen acting and not just stage acting, which are two completely different skillsets. He demonstrates a lot of charm and charisma in his acting, so he’d be able to bring the character to life. When he sings, he shows just what a great actor he is as well as a singer. You can instantly connect with the character he’s playing and what he is feeling/going through. Not to mention that he is really handsome. But I hope that they won’t give Derek that ugly hairstyle that he has in all of the movies.

Demi Lovato as Princess Odette

Now for The Swan Princess herself. I bet some of you think that this is an odd choice because of how Demi is a pop star. However, that doesn’t mean she can’t be a princess. Look at Mandy Moore as Rapunzel in Disney’s Tangled. Besides, look at Demi with blonde hair. She looks exactly like Odette! Demi Lovato’s voice may not be as light as Odette’s usually is, but she still has a voice that would translate very well into the Broadways style music. Her vocal abilities speak for themselves and are undeniably brilliant. Not only that, but she’s a great actress, which a lot of people seem to forget because of how she focuses on her music career. It also wouldn’t be the first time she’s played an elegant princess, since she was in the Disney Channel original movie, Princess Protection Program. I also feel like she’d be able to capture qualities of Odette that people often overlook. Odette in the original trilogy (Especially the first movie) was feisty, strong-willed, and defiant. Demi represents those qualities perfectly in everything she does. She can capture Odette’s kindness and caring nature, since she is such a loving soul, but also manage to represent other qualities that make Odette who she is. She isn’t afraid to go against Rothbart, find a way to get out of her bad situation, and even defy her father in wanting Derek to tell her what he loves about her besides her looks. She even has some experience with voice acting, so she’d be a natural when having to do voice acting for Odette when in her swan form.

She’d also be able to capture the sexy and seductive behavior that is required for when Odile is disguised as Odette. If you have seen any of Demi Lovato’s music videos where she’s very provocative, she’s clearly able to capture that perfectly. Plus, if the movie does have Odile and they cast Bella, it would work because of how Demi and Bella are actually really good friends, so they’d be able to work together to make sure that Demi could imitate the mannerisms that Bella establishes for Odile.

Lets also not forget that she could help write an original song for the movie, which could get an Oscar nomination for Best Original Song. Demi’s songs, more often than not, have a story-telling quality to them. Her songs have her emotions and feeling out on her sleeves for people to know about and sometimes even have something of a character arc. Combine that with a traditional Broadway score by Lex de Azevedo or maybe even with the score from the original Swan Lake ballet by Tchaikovsky. Besides, with her MASSIVE fanbase, she would draw in a LARGE crowd, especially since they would love to see her in a movie musical, particularly one that would have a theatrical release. I wouldn’t be surprised if she got an Oscar nomination for Best Actress.

BONUS MATERIAL:

For some bonus material, I’ve included who I would choose to sing the end credit songs from the original movie, “Far Longer Than Forever” and “Eternity.”

“Far Longer Than Forever”: Jordan Fisher and Coco Jones

These two singing a duet together would be absolutely HEAVENLY! They have absolutely amazing voices with wide and versatile vocal ranges. Jordan Fisher is pretty much a male version of Mariah Carey. Coco Jones is pretty much a younger version of Jennifer Hudson. Not to mention singing the end credit song to a remake of an iconic and beloved animated movie could help her get the recognition she deserves. She was done dirty in Hollywood because of her being a dark-skinned black woman. Singing the end credit version of “Far Longer Than Forever” in the live-action remake could be to her what “Reflection” was for Christina Aguilera. That song is what helped make Christina the massive star she is today, so much so that she came back to sing a new version of the song in the live-action remake of Mulan.

“Eternity”: Anneliese van der Pol

Anneliese van der Pol is such an UNDERRATED talent! She has one of the most amazing voices I’ve ever heard in my life. It’s so powerful, she can seriously belt, has such an old fashioned beauty to her voice reminiscent of singers like Judy Garland and Barbra Streisand that is rare to find nowadays, she can be full-on but also tender, and is a Broadway singer. She would do the song justice and would stay true to the spirit of it. I mean, listen to her cover of the song “Candle on the Water.” Usually with Disney Mania, it’s almost always modern style music to classic Disney songs, however, Anneliese’s cover was in the same style as the original song, which is unique. In fact, her cover was better than the original.

youtube

Lastly, did you know that The Swan Princess has an OFFICIAL Youtube, Facebook, Tumblr, and Instagram? They even interact with fans A LOT! Take a look!

https://www.instagram.com/swanprincessofficial/

@theswanprincessofficial

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm_Q3k32sEVQbrANS7-vSjA

https://www.facebook.com/official.swanprincess/

You can even send an email to [email protected] where you can ask a question and it might be chosen for the monthly Chamberg Daily News (Chamberg is the name of Derek’s kingdom).

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thearkhound · 4 years ago

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Tsubasa Masao on Metal Gear Acid character designs

Source: Postscript of MGA (waybacked)

The following is a translation of five blog posts made by Metal Gear Acid character designer Tsubasa Masao for the now-defunct “Postscript of MGA” blog, where he provides commentary on the designs he provided for the game. Most of the images were thankfully preserved by the waybacked version, except for the ones on the fourth blog post, which were taken from the still active gallery page from the official Metal Gear Acid 2 website. I’ve moved Tsubasa’s commentary of Snake’s main weapon of choice in MGA into the first section regarding for better flow and also added a model sheet of Snake from MGA2′s official gallery, since the sub-section looked odd without any images..

Solid Snake

The first thing we talked about Snake was wanting to change the impression that people had of him up until now, which resulted in the long-haired Snake we see in this game. Thinking about it now, perhaps it was better if we had kept usual hairstyle. As for his costume, we decided at the earliest stage to keep his usual sneaking suit from previous games, so it is what it is.

We had a request from Mr. Shinkawa to make the XM8 into Snake’s main weapon in the game. It’s a gun with quite a unique appearance, as you would know if you had seen the original. On the illustration we added a lot of over-the-top extra parts to the gun, but in retrospect I think it would had been better if we had left it as it is.

Teliko Friedman

Teliko was the first character we designed for Metal Gear Acid. Since even the scenario was still in its tentative stages, I couldn’t quite grasp an image for her yet.

For the face I was told to make her look like a “female Rambo or something like an Uma Thurman type.” I wasn’t too crazy about doing a female Rambo and wondered about what I should do, which is how I ended up with the design we’re seeing here. I was conscious of Uma Thurman’s role in Pulp Fiction at the time. She had a sort-of coquettish feeling, don’t you think?

Since I don’t like loose-fitting military clothing, I decided to make her silhouette tightly around her body. Afterward, I thought about the character’s stance and came up with the sneaking suit style.

A new-type of sneaking suit.

Built-in muscle strengtheners in one part that increases speed and strength.

A new-type of bullerproof inner wear made by the U.S. Army. Protective clothing consisting of aramid fiber soaked with polyethylene glycol.

And so on.

Model sheets for Teliko Friedman. There are gimmicks not shown in the game such as stun knuckles and muscle strengtheners.

I wanted her gun holster to flutter on her character model’s hip while she moved, but we abandoned that due to the small screen size of the PSP unit.

As for the coloring, since she was being paired with Solid Snake, we decided to dress her in a brighter color to contrast with Snake’s black sneaking suit.

Teliko was designed to be a very typical heroine, so we thought it would be best if she didn’t have too many idiosyncrasies.

What do you think?

Roger McCoy

He’s the character who supports Snake and Telico in this game. We wanted him to have a very different outward appearance from Colonel Campbell.

We experimented with various patterns such as an elderly version of Roger or a black version of Roger, before we settled on the finalized design.

We didn’t have any particular aim with his concept, but we thought it would be better if he was more intense than previous versions of the Colonel character.

Afterward, I wanted his silhouette to have a peculiar characteristic, so I decided to give him a crippled leg and a cane to walk with. (I don’t know if this is reflected in the game though).

Rough sketch for Roger McCoy. Instead of a suit, he originally wore a military uniform.

Alice Hazel

I was ordered to make a pretty girl with ESP abilities. I was told that she has a personality that clashes with Snake’s, so I drew her in a sassy matter, but then I changed her to be more unemotional, or rather coldhearted.

For her attire I thought just having her wear a school uniform would be too plain, so I gave her a bomber jacket atop her blazer, which she received from Roger. The gun she wields on the second half of the story is hidden inside her jacket.

Since the characters in Acid are involved in a story where they’re either, manipulating someone or being manipulated by someone, I have her holding a doll as a hint that’s she pulling the strings from behind. Originally it was going to be a ventriloquist doll, but that would had been too obvious.

Alice’s initial design. “I thought she should be wearing glasses like Tommy February. I liked how it came out, but I had to redo her design after they decided to go into another direction.”

Alice’s finalized design. You can see the direction of the character took a 180 degrees turn. The characteristic doll remained until the end.

Lt. Leone

It was settled that he would be a “retro soldier”, “have the physique of a bear” and “wields an anti-tank rifle.” Based on those ideas, we decided that his gear should be vintage. But was this really the image of an old-fashioned soldier?

After that we wanted to make his silhouette stand out, so we had him wear a cloak on one side. This cloak takes the form of a Ghillie suit so that it could stand out when he moves rapidly during hand-to-hand combat.

His image was set in stone in the very early stages, so there weren’t any particularly big changes made afterward. By the way, in the international versions they added a voice clip of him chanting “pansies! pansies!, which made him stand out even more.

The left image is an early rough sketch. The right image is a proportion specification designed for reference. “In regards to his body shape, I didn’t want him to just be bigger, I wanted him to stand out as a giant even without the contrast.”

Colored model sheet for Leone. His systematic characteristics and clothing are established to the minuet detail.

From Leone’s model sheet. He was drawn with a fighting image and it seems he was initially expected to have close quarter attacks.

From Leon’s model sheet. The initial character image is almost completed at this stage. His kick attack was rejected due to limitations with the character model and such.

Elsie & Frances

Originally they were supposed to be characters who lived in VR space. But when the scenario changed during the middle of development, they were no longer virtual characters, but ventriloquist dummies who exists in the real world. Out of all the characters, I think they’re the ones who had their image changed the most from the early stages.

Their manipulating strings are established to be wires that could be attached to the walls or ceilings (like a spider’s cobweb), so that the dummies could be controlled from a distance.

We wonder if we made their relevance apparent in the miscellaneous cutscenes.

Finalized design for Elsie and Frances. Shown here is Frances, the elder of the two sisters. Elsie, the younger sister, has a cracked face and a speech impediment.

William L. Fleming (aka Gary Murray)

The boss character of this entry. Since he was established to be an excessive neat freak, he wears a fancy brand name suit under his shabby coat. His shoes are also shiny brand names. His coat is tainted with the oil fluids for Metal Gear KODOQUE.

Since it was said that there was going to be a cutscene where he shoots a gun, he was given a belt under his coat, which is equipped with a gun holster during his Fleming persona.

Originally he was established to be a middle aged man, but since he was going to be a boss character, he ended up looking quite younger than he was intended to be. Because of story reasons, he was a difficult character to make him look unique with his clothing, so we were concerned in making him stand out.

In fact, we had the idea of outfitting him with a powered suit similar to the one worn by Solidus and having him directly confront Snake and Teliko. Mr. Shinkawa gave me various ideas, such as “give him a METAL BLADE!” But because complications with the story, those ideas were abandoned.

Model sheet of William L. Flemming. There are detailed notes such as the differences between his true self and his Gary Murray persona. It seems there were plans to have him directly engage Snake and Teliko.

La Clown

La Clown’s backstory is that of an “assassin who specializes in disguises and hypnotism.” Because of this, the character’s design doesn’t differ much from Telico’s. For the illustrations, La Clown’s proportions were changed in subtle ways.

Line art illustration of La Clown

Enemy Soldiers

The jobbers of Metal Gear Acid. The small fry soldiers. This time they wear desert camouflage, giving them a middle eastern atmosphere. Perhaps they have a dusty unfashionable image.

The model sheets of the enemy soldiers. The first sheet is a soldier from Leone’s unit. The second is a member of the Genetics Army. The designs of the enemy soldiers this time are based on MGS2, since it’s set in a similar period.

Model sheet of the Genetics Soldier. “Because it is an equipment for measuring data, there are stuff like experimental cords and labels attached to it.”

Changes in Concepts

Initially the concepts we got from the scenario were horror and suspense. Specifically there would be ghost characters that would appear in key scenes, the boss characters were going to be cyborgs who served Fleming, and so on...

After days and months have passed (or maybe it wasn’t that long), the horror aspect became more downplayed and the scenario was changed to a more suspenseful one in all aspects. The colors red and black are used a lot by many characters in general, but that was actually a remnant from the early stages when the horror aspect was more emphasized.

Although MGS served as the basis, there were many twists and turns in the art designs. Because of the lack of flexibility in the development schedule, I was concerned about keeping the Metal Gear world in place while somehow giving Acid its own color. After all, the world Metal Gear is quite deep.

Model sheet of Minette Donnell. “Because she’s a malicious girl, she wears deep red.”

Rough character designs from the early stages of development. The first character is Dr. Flemming and the second is Senator Viggo. “Originally Viggo Hach was just an old man who suddenly became rich.”

More initial designs. The first is a member of the FPH. The second is the Genetics Soldier Boss. “The Genetics Boss would’ve been an underling of Flemming who would’ve supervised the other Genetics Soldier. He would’ve covered his whole body with armor-like muscle strengtheners.”

More rough designs of boss characters. They too were also underlings of Dr. Flemming. The first design looks like a bee woman with poisonous attacks, while the second looks like a giant man with sludge attacks.