#i was destined to be alone
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
if we think i could forget you, then we are both delusional.
brushes of lips and the grip of hands sear my skin daily. i could never be rid of you
frankly, i dont want to be
i deserve to burn
#3am poetry again 🫦#lots of thoughts#not just about them but about Him and how i let him take and take and take from me#thinking it would be enough#how badly i want to fix everything#because if i could fix him then maybe i could fix my mother. myself#oh mi amor i left you because i couldnt afford to ruin you more than i already had#couldnt bear to be brave enough i just wanted to exit this world and run away like thr coward ive always been#i grieve what i gave up and what i did but it will never be enough#i was destined to be alone
0 notes
Text
oh hot take for people to ignore bc its not that deep, ship what you want, but merthur physically cannot have a third. i think that's literally impossible. they're so inextricably bound to one another that it's always going to be MERTHUR and that person...i guess. like. merlin and arthur are always going to chose one another above everything. i just. don't think being their third would be fun. unless you just wanna watch. i guess.
#idk being in a relationship with the two dudes who are literally destined for one another by the gods#and who are described as two sides of the same coin#who “cannot live without that which makes them whole” ie each other#idk its just like. you're always gonna be the outsider. they'll always be the duo in a trio.#yknow?#and being the one left alone in a trio watching the duo be Like That? is...........not fun.#i couldnt imagine loving someone/two people and then watching as they blatantly love one another more than me#that just. wouldnt be healthy.#imo#ignore me#bbc merlin#merlin emrys#arthur pendragon#merthur
224 notes
·
View notes
Text
Azula would have lost the Final Agni Kai no matter what. Here's why:
Azula is insecure. That's why she takes cheap shots. She did it with Katara, and she did it with Aang in CoD, AND she did it with Iroh striking him with lightning. One could even argue that her behavior in CoD foreshadows some of what happens in the Agni Kai, where in CoD, Katara fights Azula, and Zuko saves her, whereas in the Final Agni Kai, Zuko fights Azula and saves Katara. It's a little mismatch of dynamics.
Azula cheating (constantly), is a staple of dishonorable behavior, which I think is interesting.
We see her "play with her food" like a cat, with the Dai Lee and other opponents she encounters. She tricks them and manipulates them and there's no threat. Killing Aang with lightning was SUPREMELY stupid on her part, and she wouldn't have done it unless she was cornered. She didn't even stick around to make sure he was dead or have any of them followed-- because she was scared. Zuko NEVER flees in fights out of fear. He doubles down like a lunatic and tries to get himself killed instead. Azula is not willing to risk her life, and that's why she's a worse fighter. The insecurity gets to her head and she psychs herself out
Azula has a lot of fire power (lol), but Zuko has the heart and commitment to see actions through to the end. That's why he would have won, had Azula not cheated.
By the end, they were evenly matched in firepower anyway. They did the Raging Line of Flames Competing Colors thing and met in the middle, and stayed there. That's how animation tells us about their ability.
Azula's seat of power in her firebending is spite and fear. She's not even mad, bro.
Zuko's seat of power, at the end, is light and life and love. One is a powder keg that runs out after you blow it up once, and the other is like an oil fire in a parking lot. There's essentially infinite fuel there.
Zuko would have certainly outlasted her. And did, if you think about it. Because she panicked.
Azula's entire persona is a mask, just as Zuko's bravado and pettiness in the first season was a mask. (Funny, that he can only be himself when he's hidden the scar with the blue spirit mask, therefore freeing himself of the shame and the mark that brands him as a villain)
They show us that Azula's mask is not only slipping, but cracking, crumbling in the mirror scene. That's why it's there: to show the audience that all of her running has finally caught up with her.
This world that Azula created has been a sham from the beginning. Castles in the sky to make up for what she lacks: love.
Which is why she would never win against Zuko if they both reached their full potential, as they did during the comet.
#zuko#azula#this is to address some 'zuko is a worse firebender at the end still and never mastered firebending because azula js more powerful than him'#nonesense that we are seeing in the azula stan tumblr rabbit hole#y'all lost the plot fellas#azula is a tragic heroine or whatever in your hc but she's really just a sympathetic villain destined to fail from the beginning#her foundations are shit#she's completely unsustainable and working on borrowed time#and SHE KNOWS IT#because her worth is rooted in the percieved approval of her father#she could never stand alone#azula critical#i wont say it's an anti post because its not#its just analysis and thoughts and if that bothers you get off the internet and read a book thanks#atla#AT:LA#avatar the last airbender
151 notes
·
View notes
Text



yes you will be fine little apollo you will have fun with your little sister soon,,,


#HE THOUGHT HE WAS ALONE IN NOT HAVING A MUM BUT HE ACTUALLY HAS ONE BUT SHE HAD AMNESIA AND DIDN'T KNOW HIM 😭#ace attorney#dual destinies#ace attorney dual destinies#apollo justice trilogy#aa5#pwdd#ajt#aa5-4#the cosmic turnabout#apollo justice#clay terran#dual destines spoliers#apollo justice trilogy spoilers#ace attorney dual destinies spoilers#aa5 spoilers#pwdd spoilers#ajt spoilers#aa5-4 spoilers#I don't put a liveblogging tag cuz I always post screenshots with the notes I write while playing after I finished all of the case :D
89 notes
·
View notes
Text
guy who so desperately tries to find god. who wants to have faith in a higher authority to guide him out of the hole he's in. from the weight of guilt from simply existing, as the person he is. but every time he thinks he's answered his higher calling it turns out he's made the Morally Incorrect choice and his path to goodness and holiness was the road to the devil all along
#now trusting god will give you a way out? there's your real crime!!!#guy betrayed by the protestant promise of a direct connection with god. but is also somehow. joan of arc.#see he never achieves actual martyrdom tho bc he's not allowed to stay dead lmaooo#sam somehow the most unintentionally catholic AND protestant character of all time#dean the atheist who sees religious predestination as the curse it is from the get go. framed as the narrative's Real Moral Authority#but also in the process reifying patriarchal familial power n authority. very very important Value of the Church#i don't think it's that deep. the show's attempt at critiquing christianity. but the way it reinforces christian cultural values???#'religious predestination and absolute faith in a higher authority...bad'#nice nice ok tell me more?#“so you should put your faith in family. in your patriarch (big brother)”#?????????#the thematic incoherence of it all. it's like the world's stupidest puzzle box to me. i can't leave it alone.#sam = maybe i can find god thru following my destined path. wait oh shit.#cas = maybe i can find god thru rebellion and seeking my own destiny. wait oh shit.#dean = god is fucking dead and me i also feel not so good#the “guy who so desperately wants to find god parallel” <- me coming out as a secret sastiel fan#both of them...finding god in de-[sniper on the roof kills me in one shot]#spn bible studies#j.txt
247 notes
·
View notes
Text
I really wish there were more fics that delved into how Akutagawa's love for Atsushi is different from his love for Dazai.
Tbh I just wish Akutagawa's romantic feelings for Dazai were acknowledged more and I'm only now realizing it's so weird how nobody really ever brings them up? while it's all so evidently there. I mean, considering Akutagawa to be / having been in love with Dazai is seriously a perfectly feasible, consistent, realistic way to interpret the text without any need to bend or stretch it. It just makes a lot of sense for how his character is portrayed - his obsession with Dazai, his devotion, his desperation to be acknowledged and approved by him - and I think it's quite the important piece to understand his character. His love for Dazai is a significant aspect of Akutagawa's character, and it also explains why he's always been so vulnerable to manipulation by Dazai specifically. In a way, I think Akutagawa being so unmistakingly gay is also coherent with the way he's completely indifferent and even oblivious to Higuchi's feelings for him that lie at the light of the day– although, please note, that's a slippery slope that can degenerate in apologism for the way he abuses her, so I beg to be mindful when considering that.
Akutagawa's feelings for Dazai are in ultimate analysis extremely relevant for how Akutagawa falls and acts in the sskk picture: Atsushi being not the first person Akutagawa ever fell for, so in a way him being more aware of his own feelings than Atsushi is; Akutagawa falling for Atsushi first (and harder), because at this point he already knows he likes men, he already knows what being in love with someone feels like. But at the same time I believe that it's so interesting to explore how his feelings for Dazai are different from what he holds for Atsushi. On one side you have Akutagawa's feelings for Dazai being passive: not in the way he doesn't act after them, of course he does, but in the way he's always passively subject to Dazai's abuse, unable to stand for himself, blinded by his devotion to Dazai and unable to really see the damage he's causing him. Passive in the way that he's created this image of Dazai in his mind, perfect, god-like, static and unnatural, that struggles to evolve and adapt to reality. Akutagawa's love for Atsushi, on the other hand, is aggressive: always actively trying to hurt the other, always attempting to make the other suffer; it really speaks of someone whom, all his life, has always associated love with pain. Akutagawa hurts Atsushi because he knows love means pain, and he hurts Atsushi because he can't allow his love for him to hurt Akutagawa again as deeply and painfully as it's done in the past. It's a little sad. Ultimately, Akutagawa's love for Atsushi being the push Akutagawa needs to get over Dazai at last, something I fear he never really managed to do up to - I believe - at least chapter 53: getting over Dazai as something he gradually achieved after the soul-searching he did during his absence between chapters 53 and 84. Chapter 84 being the one where Akutagawa willingly, readily said “no” to Dazai in a way that was so sudden and surprising for anyone who knows him and that is easy to interpret as Akutagawa finally starting to free himself from the influence Dazai has had on him up to that point. That's why Akutagawa's sacrifice for Atsushi is all the more important and poignant, because him protecting (and dying for) Atsushi was never for Dazai to begin with.
I always always considered Akutagawa being gay and in love with Dazai to be like. the most evidently queer thing the bsd canon has to offer (and maybe the “you know the reason yourself don't you”, but I guess that falls under the bigger category of “Ryuunosuke Akutagawa is a character that is gay”); but now that I think about it, nobody ever brings it up really. I can guess it's probably because most people - including people who like Akutagawa and ship sskk - ultimately sympathize with Dazai, and even where acknowledging the hurt he's done to Akutagawa, don't really like to dwell on it or explore the relationship between the two of them which is... legit, indeed. Still, I think their relationship and Akutagawa's romantic feelings for Dazai are a very important part of his character that shouldn't be overlooked when trying to accurately portray him.
And the rational part of my brain knows this can't be intentional, knows Akutagawa wasn't written to be read as gay. But there's another I'd dare say equally rational part of my brain that keeps speaking up to say the majority of his characterization - his devotion to Dazai, his (can I say? tender) sacrifice for Atsushi, his mistreatment of Higuchi - really starts to make sense only when you interpret him as gay. So, sorry???
#ryūnosuke akutagawa#osamu dazai#sskk#shin soukoku#bsd#bungou stray dogs#mine#q.#14/05/23#Edit:#*the most evidently queer thing the bsd canon has to offer together with oda/zai.#But I'm quite tired of receiving anon hate for thinking oda/zai is plainly in love in the text that I've opted for deleting that sentence.#Edit 2: Like I wouldn't even put it beyond canon to make Akutagawa canonly gay for Dazai. His attachment to him has already been–#consistently depicted as blind irrational affection. And it would fall in that specific trope of#“gay character that is alone in their gayness because being gay is something that *can* happen but is also something *others* experience–#and gay people are destined to be sad and lonely because they can only love straight people unrequitedly. Their fate is tragic and sad–#and they will probably die also.”#Like that IS a trope that used to be a thing. I can think of at least a couple of old (and not old) eastern series that use it.#Still unlikely for Akutagawa to be confirmed gay even if it's unrequitedly for Dazai. But I'd say it's still more likely than‚ say‚ making–#s/kk or sskk canon.
82 notes
·
View notes
Text
say a jewish time traveler, travels from a certain thursday to a certain monday. does she then need to observe shabbat on the 7th day according to her own personal timeline, or does she celebrate it on the saturday of the local timeline?
#jewish#jumblr#i think an acceptable answer is that while they are time traveling although it may only appear to be a second#we should consider them ‘lost at sea’ and celebrating shabbat according to their own calendar until they follow the correct calendar#so when alone they celebrate according to their own timeline#but when in a destination they follow the local calendar#furthermore#i think they still follow shabbat even if they travel to ‘before sinai’ because theologically everyone was and is at sinai#the moment of us receiving the torah is eternal in both directions
147 notes
·
View notes
Text
chat my love life is way too pathetic to just be "unlucky". like atp im thinking...did i do something??? ffs who did i do wrong that much...or am i hideous but no one has told me. am i actually a terrible person but just don't realize it- LIKE WHAT I DO BECAUSE ITS SO SAD ITS EMBARRASSING can't have anything in this world bruh😭
#pls i just want one smooch WHY IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK FOR#think im juat destined to be alone 🤡#and i have no idea if there are any gay clubs or bars within a reasknable distance#not to mention who tf would i go with ALL MY FRIENDS ARE SO FAR AWAYYYY BOTH IRL N ONLINE#anyway
30 notes
·
View notes
Text
I think the tragedy of Rio is that she loved Agatha more than anything, but Agatha loved someone else more than her.
#i just have a lot of rio feelings#im a sucker for the tragic character#she is destined to be alone for all of time#😭😭😭#agatha x rio#agatha all along spoilers#agatha all along#rio vidal
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
I never actually put together that the witch of the waste didn't learn all about Wales and John Donne from Howl drastically oversharing about himself, because she literally says she learned it from Percival
#hmc book#hmc#it's crazy that i've read this so many times and yet this didn't properly click until now#both she and percival say this how did i MISS this???#it was howl and calcifer who decided that he told the witch too much about himself#but probably all he did was vaguely mention wales. and the witch spent the whole novel in a series of mystery detective sidequests#unwittingly derailed by sophie#something something. this is a symptom of. where sophie thinks she's destined to be a failure howl thinks he's destined to be alone#she speaks
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
oh fuck merlin following after arthur for five seasons, at his heel following him into every battle, every fight, every quest without regard for his own safety. arthur dying on the shore of that damn lake and merlin dying with him but his body remains. arthur goes to avalon and merlin is forced to stay on earth. merlin can’t follow arthur this time. this is one journey merlin and arthur can’t take together. two halves split and kept apart for over fifteen hundred years. goddamn it. these fucking assholes never fail to make me cry. i hate them i hate them i hate them i hate them
#merlin screaming at the lake - screaming at arthur - at how he left him. he left merlin all alone.#merlin is alone and arthur is with all their friends in avalon#gwen tryibg to console merlin over arthurs death by saying that they’ll all be reunited in the otherworld#and that may be true for her and the knights of the round table#but not merlin#merlin will roam the earth for centuries ALONE#its one of the cruelest jokes of the gods#making two people soulmates. theyre each others other half. they are destined to meet and become a legend#they only get ten years together#arthur is taken from merlin. they take his other half. and instead of roaming for forty years in grief and sorrow#they doom him to roam for eternity. soulmates. one who died too young and one who will never meet his end.#soulmates who were destined to meet but never destibed to stay together#FUCK THEM#I HATE THEM#bbc merlin#merlin emrys#arthur pendragon#merthur#angst#its an angst kinda night#i hate them so much#imagine meeting ur literal soulmate. ur other half. half of your soul. and holding them as they die. and end up being immortal.#i would fight god#wtf do you mean by that#nahh nah nah cmere and catch these immortal hands#what are u gonna do? kill me??
141 notes
·
View notes
Text



okay y’all have to agree this is cute as hell💕
#🎀#I matched with this dream on tinder and while HE messaged ME first with a COMPLIMENT he has yet to respond#so I think I’m just destined to be alone#totally cool though no worries🙃
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
a 'beginning' and 'end', a place to feel grounded, a place of bottomlessness, a place of safety and familiarity, the feelings of the living to a journey that seemed to feel as if there is no end in sight can be a burden no one can bear. a familiar feeling of floating as you fall almost endlessly, as if suspended in time, a memory that reminds you of someone from years past, a nostalgic feeling of soft gloves and pink hair, of a small smile of happiness and the faint smell of chemical and antiseptic... so close like a star. all the things you lost, all the sorrow, all the memories of cherished pain and joy shall be your guide until the end. you will reach that destination as one of the living. should you falter and feel as if time had stopped and nothing grounds you to the earth, and you feel that you have been falling endlessly without hope, may the bonds you have gained pull you up. again and again. should you fall, should your heart waver in the face of mind numbing ache to bittersweet nostalgia, everything that you keep close to your heart shall save you, one way or another. as long as there is an end to the fall, you are alive. you are alive.
#as long as you are alive#there is a destination to reach#an end is surely in sight. an end that can make you look back at your journey#and smile at it as someone who lived life to the fullest#special thanks to shachi sensei my favorite artist for obeguda forever#fgo#fate grand order#fujimaru ritsuka#guda#oberon vortigern#obeguda#GOD i ARTISTS AND WRITERS WHO INVOVLE OBEGUDA WITH ROMANI IS MY#LIFEBLOOD THEY GIVE ME THE MOST AMAZING FOOD FOREVER IM IN THER DEBT IM CRYING#romani archaman#obegudaromani#grr its a rare thing but guda's star who is romani and oberon who can only look at his master with disgust and love#with admiration and nausea as the sole reason why guda is able to come this far is because#of THAT man alone#no other servant or staff has this effect on guda but the man who guided guda and was able to#grow as a reliable master in the short time he spent with them#oberon of course has respect for romani but isnt it a curse? to love someone so much that you#have to live for them. you have to live for those you love even if it means their deaths#i am a crazy obegudaromani fan#its a rare thing but i love it ghh
44 notes
·
View notes
Text
Heyyyyyyyy so I accidentally delved into a part of my childhood that I never think about and realized my life has been even more depressing than I previously have been thinking- I don’t even know what to do with this shit at this point
#I could reach my hand into the metaphorical childhood-trauma-candy-bowl and get a different flavor every time#thinking about what I was going through as a kid at every stage of my life has me so unbelievably devastated#I was still playing with dolls when I was having the most horrific intrusive thoughts ever#I was still watching My Little Pony when I thought God wasn’t answering my prayers because He hated me and I was destined for hell#I was still drawing princesses when I would sob and sob as I prayed over and over and over and over and I was so terrified that I was#doing it wrong and it wouldn’t be enough to apologize#I was still watching Barbie when I didn’t know what I was apologizing for#I can’t fathom a child that young being so fucking terrified#I can’t imagine a child that young being so ashamed and guilty and desperate#I can’t imagine a child that young suffering so utterly alone
7 notes
·
View notes
Note
what's your fave movie atm? :0
my favorite five movies are final destination 3, heathers, beetlejuice, basil, and i love you to death!! the last five movies i watched were indiana jones and the last crusade, hard rain, i love you to death, alone in the dark 2, and the parent trap.
#kittyposting#thanks for asking!!#saladchips#asks#final destination 3#final destination#heathers#beetlejuice#basil#i love you to death#indiana jones#indiana jones and the last crusade#hard rain#alone in the dark#alone in the dark 2#the parent trap
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
rewatching Nana is just muttering "fuck shoji" to yourself for the first 20 episodes
#the audacity of that brain dead cretin to treat our ditz like that#jokes on him tho bc the best thing he did for her was LEAVE HER ALONE#i hate infidelity like this the most#where the partner pretends this new relationship is destined to be when really its just a resction to their own shortcomings w their partner#like shoji only went to satchiko bc nana wouldn't 'behave'#she's high maintenance and excitable and hes dull and boring and easily exhausted#I HATE SHOJI#nana#ai yazawa
54 notes
·
View notes