#i was always thinking of him going for adam/ava so i might change my mind at some point ngl

[vilnan]

putting teddy in all the possible ifs bc he is my favourite and i want him to smooch all the hot people

[cartoonfangirl1218]

I liked your ava post, do you have more aboout usm. The WHOle usm team?

I can’t say I have many many hcs but I’ll give you where I think they might end up after SHIELD, and two songs that fit them if that works. 

Peter: I don't know why but I feel like Peter would want to look for his parents once he leaves SHIELD and while doing so, he ends up in a lot of team ups and building up more of his rogues gallery. Basically I imagine stuff from the comic with spider clones, dating MJ, briefly rejoins the Avengers then leaves. Yeah I don't have much for him since comic history leaves people to choose what they want. Imagine Dragon's Beliver because he does have such a heavy pain inside, but that's the thing, he keeps it inside until he snaps them into his fight for justice. "First things first, I'ma say all the words inside my head. I'm fired up and tired of the way that things have been, The way that things have been.Second thing second, Don't you tell me what you think that I could be. I'm the one at the sail, I'm the master of my sea...Taking my message from the veins. Speaking my lesson from the brain. Seeing the beauty through the pain!"

Danny: I'd like to think that he stays in NY to start Heroes for Hire with Luke as soon as they leave SHIELD. They're bros, and he justifies the absence that New York needs Iron Fist more than K'Lun for the moment. He also tries his hand at getting Rand Industries back on track. I also think he does return to K'Lun eventually as King and mystical head. After his work at Rand Industries, he feels more confident as a leader and is willing to stand up to the monks when it comes with changing some of the old ways. Allowing him to travel back to NY to see his friends while keeping the mystical origins of K'Lun sacred. I think Nature Boy rather fits him, soft and melodious and Danny learning he is not alone sort of. "There was a boy. A very strange enchanted boyThey say he wandered very far..Very far over land and sea. A little shy and sad of eye. But very wise, was he."  Les Miserables’ Who am I mainly because I imagine Danny has some identity issues between feeling worthy of the Iron Fist, feeling torn between the US and K'Lun. Ideally, he would end up learning being one does not give up the other part of himself. As one would say they can coexist in a balance. "Who am I? Can I conceal myself forever more.. Pretend I’m not the man I was before?....How can I ever face my fellow men? How can I ever face myself again?"

Luke: As said above, with Danny, when they leave SHIELD, they create Heroes for Hire, they ride or die forever.  Together they clean up their part of New York and Luke comes to terms with some of his past and the people he dealt with in jail. He also meets Jessica Jones during this time and she becomes his new partner (in more ways than one) when Danny leaves for K'Lun. He sometimes does freelance work for SHIELD, mainly at the behest of his parents, sometimes as a favor to Fury. He also sometimes comes by the Helicarrier to be a surprise mentor to whatever new hero they pick up. He is the main instigator of team reunions.

Adam Levine’s If I got locked away totally fits him after the time he spent in jail and scared of being seen as weak, it really fits him and his insecurities. "If I got locked away And we lost it all today. Tell me honestly, would you still love me the same? If I showed you my flaws. If I couldn't be strong. Tell me honestly, would you still love me the same?" One call away also fits him simply for his caring nature and how he'll do anything for his friends, "I'm only one call away. I'll be there to save the daySuperman got nothing on me. I'm only one call away/ Call me, baby, if you need a friend. I just wanna give you love...No matter where you go, know you're not alone. I'm only one call away."

Ava: I think once Ava leaves SHIElD, she has some trouble with the amulet whether form being on her own, knowing SHIELD isn't there watching her every move or just cockiness that she can handle it now. Either way, I see her as  taking a break from the amulet. Reasoning her father wanted her to keep it safe, it didn't mean she had to put it on and be a hero. Ideally, she goes to therapy to work through all these issues before ever putting it on again. I imagine she goes home to PR too. I think she could go into bounty hunting, it's more freelance, she helps put baddies away and she can put her investigative skills to good use. Eventually she'd be White Tiger again but for more superpowered threats than every day patrolling. Just breathe from In the Heights not only for the spanish influences but also the utter fear of returning a failure, "Straighten the spine. Smile for the neighbors. Everything's fine, everything's cool. The standard reply: Lots of tests, lots of papers. Smile, wave goodbye and pray to the sky, "Oh God!" And what will my parents say? Can I go in there and say, "I know I'm letting you down..."  Alyssa Greene from The Prom. The lyrics speak for themselves of the utter perfectionism and drive, "The hair has to be perfect. The As have to be straight...Trophies have to be first place. Ribbons have to be blue. There's always some competition or hoops for jumping through. Just have everything perfected by the time you reach eighteen" 

Sam: Admittedly I don't know much about Nova lore or backstory as the others but I think he'll go back to space. Not necessarily as part of the Guardians because honestly I think they had enough members without him. Maybe as a solo act before he finds the other Nova Corps. I definitely see him as becoming a trainer there, finally being the leader he always wanted to be. I also want him to reconnect with his family so he does travel back to Earth to visit them and then swoops by NY for some reunion with his old team before heading back to space. 

Bieber’s Lonely fits Sam because at the heart of it all, I think that's what he is. Lonely, he's still young and trying to navigate these powers and his place in the world and space and what his identity is. And no one else can quite get that. "Everybody knows my name now. But somethin' 'bout it still feels strangeLike lookin' in a mirror, tryna steady yourself and seein' somebody else. And everything is not the same now. It feels like all our lives have changed Maybe when I'm older, it'll all calm down. But it's killin' me now. What if you had it all, nut nobody to call? Maybe then you'd know me 'cause I've had everything. But no one's listening and that's just f- lonely." Shawn Mendes' Wonder works for similar reasons. Mainly I imagine him singing it to his missing father who inherited so much but knows nothing personally about him, "I wonder why I'm so afraid of saying something wrong, I never said I was a saint. I wonder, when I cry into my hands. I'm conditioned to feel like it makes me less of a man and I wonder if someday you'll be by my side and tell me that the world will end up alright. I wonder..I wonder."  And then a party song for each 

Sam: All I do is win by DJ Khaled "All I do is win, win, win no matter what. Got money on my mind, I can never get enough ('Nough) And every time I step up in the building Everybody hands go up And they stay there And they stay there, up, down, up, down, up, down 'Cause all I do is win (Win), win (Win), win And if you going in put your hands in the air, make 'em stay there" 

Luke: Finesse by Bruno Mars, "We out here drippin' in finesseIt don't make no sense Out here drippin' in finesse You know it, you know it We out here drippin' in finesse It don't make no sense Out here drippin' in finesse You know it, you know it" 

Peter: Another one bites the dust by Queen "nother one bites the dustAnother one bites the dust And another one gone and another one gone Another one bites the dust Hey I'm gonna get you too Another one bites the dust"

Danny: Normally, I don't think Danny would be into party music, too much cursing, too much noise to distort the mind, that stuff. But Rihanna is catchy. "I wanna take you away, let's escape into the music, DJ, let it playI just can't refuse it, like the way you do this Keep on rockin' to it Please don't stop the, please don't stop the music I wanna take you away, let's escape into the music, DJ, let it play I just can't refuse it, like the way you do this Keep on rockin' to it Please don't stop the, please don't stop the, please don't stop the music" 

Ava: Woman by Ke$ha "I'm a motherfucking woman, baby, alright I don't need a man to be holding me too tight I'm a motherfucking woman, baby, that's right I'm just having fun with my ladies here tonight I'm a motherfucker"  This other cool blog is much more into USM and has tons of hcs if you want more of this stuff, @im-rewriting-ultimate-spider-man

[steebharringt0n]

cat’s in the cradle

infant | toddler | child | teenager | young adult

a 5-part story exploring the relationship between billy hargrove and his first-born son, adam

pairing: billy hargrove x you

rating: t

a/n: last part! this was super fun to write and who doesn’t love softdad!billy? as always, thank you for your ongoing support and encouragement, i am so happy to be a part of such a wonderful, and friendly fandom.

---

part 5 - young adult

Hawkins, Indiana. May, 1985.

You took a deep inhale of the cool May night, your eyes lingering on the dark sky that was illuminated by the bright stars. If it was one thing you loved about Hawkins, is the stars that were visible by the end of a long day. The best place to watch the stars? The Quarry of course. You sat on the hood of your boyfriend’s blue car, waiting for him to find the lighter that he had accidentally dropped between the center console and the driver seat.

You felt the wind blow by you, it sent a slight shiver up your spine. Your arms instinctively crossed, hugging yourself tight to keep yourself warm. You suddenly felt something heavy drop on your shoulders, you turned your neck to face the familiar face that you had come to love so much.

Billy carefully draped his leather jacket over you, taking a seat beside you as he brought the joint up to his mouth, the search for the lighter was a success as he flicked the wheel of his lighter until a dim flame appeared. He took a deep inhale, then exhaled, passing it over to your fingers.

You took an inhale, then frowned, then proceeded to cough, “This weed is shit” you mumbled.

Billy shrugged, “Tommy’s usual guy couldn’t get good stuff. It’s too bad we weren’t in California. They got all the good shit”

You passed the joint back to him, shaking your head. “Patience m’dear. Just one more year and we’ll be out of here”

We.

It was a short word, two letters, but ever since you and Billy had started to get serious, it was a word that had begun to hold more meaning. It wasn’t just you anymore, it was you and Billy, a collective we. Plans were being made, slowly yet surely. Did it scare you? Of course it did. Billy Hargrove was a rough and tough kind of guy. He had a reputation, he slept with countless of women before he decided to settle on you.

You both were the exact opposites, and how he fell for you is still a mystery that you still can’t solve.

But here he was, sharing his shitty weed with you, giving you his leather jacket when you got cold. You’re not sure what changed in him, maybe because you were the only one who saw through his tough guy bravado and saw the scared, insecure, and deeply sensitive person he actually was.

Billy Hargrove was all smoke and mirrors, you had decided that when he showed up to class with his aviators attached to his face. When you spotted the purple eye behind the shades, you knew, you instantly knew.

Not that he would open up to you though. You were the quiet girl, you minded your own business, dated a couple guys here and there, but the blue-eyed blond that sat behind you in English class always made your heart skip a beat, made the blood rush to your cheeks whenever he paid any attention to you.

And he noticed, and he enjoyed seeing you all worked up around him.

With a wolfish smile, he would always ask you to borrow a pencil, and even if you didn’t have one, you’d lend him yours. English class was a breeze for you anyways, it’s not like you needed to take notes on Othello. 

But other than that, the both of you never interacted outside of class. He’d go his way, and you’d go yours. The hierarchy of Hawkins High made it clear who he was supposed to hang with, and you certainly weren’t one of those people.

Then December came, and something in Billy changed. He became much more quiet, kept to himself. He would still bug you for pencils, and you happily always lent him one. Never asking him any questions, never making any small talk. 

The day before Christmas break, everything changed. 

As you were cleaning out your locker, you suddenly felt a presence behind you. You turned around, and came face with a bashful Billy, his hand holding a wrapped gift. 

“Here,” he mumbled, his eyes avoiding yours as he shoved the gift into your hand. “Thanks for everything ... see you next year”

He left you planted at your locker. You weren’t sure if you were supposed to feel flattered or confused, but the fact that Billy Hargrove brought you a gift surprised the ever loving hell out of you. You watched as he walked out of the double doors, not even turning back to look at you as he disappeared into the parking lot.

It was neatly wrapped, something that surprised you. A green bow adorned at the corner with a small card attached to it.

Thanks for all the pencils, figured this is the least I can do. - B.H

You let a small laugh escape your lips, then your heart skipped a beat when you saw the 10 digit number scribbled messily under his initials. With trembling fingers, you carefully unwrapped the present. A grin creeped up on your face when you realized he had bought you a brand new set of pencils - lord knows that you had probably spent a good penny buying new pencils for yourself and for him.

With a newfound confidence in you, you quickly headed home and dialed the number on the card.

When his deep voice answered the phone, the rest was pretty much history.

You quickly became his refuge, tending to the broken boy every week. He opened up to you, he showed you all his demons and you stayed by his side. His faith in you became unwavering, and suddenly Hawkins wasn’t such a shithole with you by his side.

The Quarry became the spot for the both you. When you needed to escape the world and just lay in each others arms, relish in the quiet, the stillness of the moment.

Or when you both just wanted to smoke.

“Remember my cousin? The one you met during that family party a couple weeks ago?”

Billy let his eyes gaze out into the distance, the weed starting to make him feel light. “Mhm”

You took another inhale, closing your eyes and letting the drug overtake your senses, “My aunt called yesterday, she got knocked up. At 18?! Can you believe it?”

Billy let out a snort, “Poor kid”

You jabbed him in the ribs, and he gave you a scowl.

“Be nice. She’s going through a lot of shit ... “ you paused, adjusting yourself on the hood of his car. You pulled your arms through his leather jacket, then proceeded to lay down, getting a better look at the stars from above.

“Can you imagine having a kid? At this moment?”

You handed him the joint, he shook his head, “Nope. I ain’t ever having kids”

A laugh escaped your lips, “Bullshit. You would love a little mullet haired spawn of yours. He’d be so cute, with your eyes, and your smile ... “ a dreamy look took over your face. You felt Billy shuffle around, he stayed quiet.

You lifted your head up, sitting up so that you were resting on your elbows as you gave him a frown.

“Seriously, you don’t want kids one day?”

He let out a deep sigh, getting off the hood of his car, “No Y/N. They’re annoying, they cry, they shit all the time ... “ there was a pregnant pause, his voice then came out quiet, flicking the ash off of the joint, “Plus, I’d be a shit dad”

You scooted off the hood of his car, standing in front of him with a scowl on your face.

“Who said that? Because I know for a fact that you’d be a great dad”

He rolled his eyes, “That’s just the weed talking Y/N ... “

You jabbed a finger in his chest, “No, stop it Billy. I love you, and I think you’d be a great dad. You’ve gotten better with Max, I see how you are around my little cousins. Whether you end up having kids with me or not, don’t sell yourself short just because Neil is a piece of shit”

He raised an eyebrow “Who said I’d be having kids with anyone else?”

You shrugged, “Who knows? You might dump me for some blond bombshell with big tits once we get to California”

Billy chuckled, wrapping his arms around your waist as he pulled you into his chest, “No way, who would help me keep track of all my pencils?”

“Your new hottie bombshell”

“Ha-ha”

You raised your head up to meet his blue eyes. The both of you stood quiet, your eyes gazing into each other as the crickets hummed in the background. 

“I love you. Nothing’s going to change that” he murmured, leaning his head down so that your noses brushed against each other. Your eyes fluttered shut, chills going down your spine.

“Does this mean you’ll change your mind about having kids?” you quietly asked.

He pressed a small kiss on your lips, “Nope”

“Aw, you’re no fun”

---

San Diego California, August, 2009.

“Do you have your winter clothes packed?”

“Yes mom”

“And your toiletries?”

“Oh my god, yes mom”

“And your wallet? Your important documents? Is your cellphone fully charged?”

22 year-old Adam brushed a hand over his face. He turned to face the camaro, gesturing on how was tightly packed it was. Everything that he held near and dear laid resting in boxes in the trunk of the camaro, and in the backseat.

“Mom, I think he’s okay” Ava’s voice spoke from behind you, placing a reassuring hand on your shoulder.

You caught your bottom lip in between your teeth, your eyes intensely staring at the boy - no, man - in front of you.

With graduating at the top of his class, Adam was a shoo-in for Stanford University. Although it wasn’t your alma-mater, and although he was now about 8 hours away from you, you were happy that he was at least in-state. His four years at college flew by, but life for you and Billy continued. You both had your hands full now that 17-year old Ava was beginning her senior year at Sunset Cliff High.

She’d grown into her looks, definitely looking like you more and more everyday, which meant that Billy’s over-protectiveness was on a constant high. When word got around that Billy Hargrove’s hot daughter - Adam Hargrove’s younger sister - was starting at Sunset Cliff, every guy wanted to date her, which meant that Billy had a lot on his plate.

All those antics that Billy pulled in high school, Ava was now pulling them. No longer could she hang her lower lip and pout her way out of things. She was rebellious, loud, and into scuffles here and there.

And dating? Don’t even think about it. Every guy who would even think about showing their face at the Hargrove household would get a door slammed in their face.

It scared the shit out of Billy, watching his little girl, his little princess, go out into this big, unknown world. No longer did Ava need her daddy to hold her hand, or kiss her booboos. She was turning into her own, strong-willed woman, and she didn’t take shit from anybody (Except you because hell hath no fury like a mother finding her daughter sneaking into her bedroom at 3 AM on a school night)

But Adam? Oh he was good, he was always good. He ended up majoring in business, inspired by his old man who had continuously ran successful automotive businesses. He wanted to go into the trade, open up his own business, whatever it would be.

Then, an opportunity arose for Adam during his senior year, a job offer, working at a large business firm. He had a desk waiting for him with his name at the end of May. 

You and Billy couldn’t be any more thrilled, any more proud of your boy.

However the opportunity laid all the way in New York, thousands of miles away from you, from Billy, from his family, and that was a hard pill for you to swallow.

But here the three of you were - standing out the driveway, watching as Adam finished packing his last belongings into his camaro. Billy had made sure the car was up to par, that it was able to make the long drive to New York. He put on new brakes, new oil, and he even updated the radio so that it could play bluetooth.

Adam turned to face his little sister, standing next to her mother with a soft smile on her face.

“I’ll miss ya kid” he muttered.

“Invite me up to your place sometime yeah? Maybe I’ll end up checking up some colleges there, Brandy said that NYU has a really good writing program” Ava said.

Adam nodded, “Just don’t mention it to mom, I don’t think she can handle both of us living across the states. Knowing her she’ll end up following us and dragging dad along”

A laugh escaped both their lips. Adam then scooped up his sister for a tight embrace, squeezing her tight. He wasn’t sure when the next time he was going to see her, so he made sure that their last memory of them together was a good one. He pulled away, ruffling her long (Y/H/C) hair, “Don’t be so hard on mom and dad, go easy on them”

Ava smirked, “I’ll try my best Adam”

Adam then turned to his mother who had been constantly on the verge of tears this whole week. Wailing about her baby boy leaving her across the state. You bit your bottom lip, trying to prevent yourself from become a blubbering mess. 

You placed your hand on Adam’s cheek, “Drive safe, be good, please call me when you get to Colorado ...” you trailed off, tears starting to leak from your eyes.

Adam leaned into your touch, placing his hand over yours as he watched the tears fall freely from your eyes. “I love you ma, you’re the best mom anyone could have ever asked for”

That just sent you into crying overdrive.

You pulled Adam into a hug, he was much taller than you so you just rested your head on his chest, feeling his heartbeat as you sobbed into his t-shirt.

“Ma, you’re gonna ruin my shirt” Adam whined.

You pulled away from him, nodding as you quickly wiped away your tears. You took a deep breath, trying to compose yourself. Adam then quickly scanned the driveway, then the front porch, 

“Where’s dad?” he questioned.

“He’s inside, somewhere, he might be in his office” you said.

Adam nodded and he made his way back into his house. His eyes quickly scanned each room on the first floor, but he still couldn’t find him. He then made his way upstairs, checking each bedroom, until he found his father standing in his childhood room, staring out the window. Billy didn’t need to turn around to know that his son was standing behind him.

“About to head out huh?” 

Adam leaned against the door frame, “Yeah, I’m meeting a friend in Colorado, it’s a 16 hour drive, but with stops I think I can make it. Then it’s off to New York”

Billy turned to face Adam, walking towards his son.

His son.

It scared him how much Adam looked like him. How there was another person in the world that had his features, his mannerisms. 18 year-old Billy would have never guessed in a million years that his son turned out the way he did. A good person, off to embark on his own journey in this world. He thinks about that night, that night where he told you that he never wanted to have kids, and he laughs at himself.

Sure Adam wasn’t planned, he was the surprise of the century, but he doesn’t regret this journey one bit. It taught him patience, it taught him perseverance, to find joy in the little things, to not sweat the small stuff, and above all, it taught him to love, stronger and more fierce than ever before. 

Billy reached behind his neck, pulling off the silver pendant that laid on his chest and in a fluid motion, he placed over Adam’s head

Adam stared at the pendant, his eyes wide with surprise, “But dad ... didn’t grandma give you this?”

“I want you to have it. It’s supposed to keep you safe. I won’t be around anymore to make sure there aren’t any monsters in your closet, so I want you to have it.”

Adam swallowed the lump that appeared in his throat.

Instead he just nodded, letting the pendant rest in his palm. He looked up at his father, a half smile on his face as he threw himself into Billy’s arms one last time.

Billy squeezed his eyes shut, tears quietly leaking out, streaming down his cheeks. Adam tried hard to fight back the tears, but eventually his eyes became flooded with tears as well.

Billy’s mind suddenly became flooded with memories. Of you, him and Adam slowly swaying to Led Zeppelin. To Adam walking his first steps, his first words, to taking Adam to the beach for the first time, winning his little league championship, graduating high school, graduating college, and now, leaving home.

It’s memories that he would hold near and dear to his heart for the rest of his life.

Billy then pulled away, letting out a small laugh as he realized they were both crying, but neither of them cared. He grabbed his son’s head and placed a kiss on his forehead.

“I love you son”

“I love you too dad”

“You come back home to visit us alright? Don’t forget about us” Billy jokingly warned.

 Adam let out a laugh, “Not sure whenever that’ll be Dad, but I’ll try my best to come home for the holiday season”

The two Hargrove men walked back downstairs, and outside to the camaro. You and Ava said your final goodbyes to Adam one last time, watching him as he pulled out of the driveway.

Billy had his arms laid wrapped around his girls’ shoulders, the three of you stared at the blue car, getting smaller as he drove away until he finally disappeared into the distance.

“Remember when we were 18, and how you told me you’d be a shit father?” you suddenly asked, reaching your hand towards his and interlinking your fingers with his.

Billy felt the brush of your wedding band against his. He let out a hum in response to your question. You looked up at him, a shit-eating grin on your face, “Oh how wrong you were”

Billy returned the grin back, shaking his head at the words he uttered to you that night at the quarry.

Oh how wrong he was indeed.

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon Little boy blue and the man in the moon "When you coming home, son?" "I don't know when" But we'll get together then, dad We're gonna have a good time then

---

tagged: @the-first-breath-of-autumn-air @justabeautiful-letdown @fab-notfat @tarahell @noodlenerd101 @crazylittlethingcalledobsession @letdecemberburninflames @kake-babe @barbarasbae @delqcour @wearewiththebands @oogachuggaoogaoogachugga @klanceiscannon14 @mrs-hollandstan @gracieadorable @mysterious-adventurer

[quietpoeticheart]

The Coffee Shop: Part Four: Part One

Summary: Bucky is a retired military veteran suffering from PTSD. He meets Avelyn, a headstrong entrepreneur, one day at her cafe with Steve and then everything changes.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Black! OC

Word Count: 1.7k+

Warnings: None

A/N: This is just a brief little fluffy filler which is half of the original chapter 4 that I couldn't finish because I just finished school exams and I'm probably going back to school just now despite Covid-19 so I haven't had much time to write. The next half of chapter 4 should be up in a week hopefully and it'll be a whole lot more interesting than this

PREVIOUS PART

Later that evening, an hour before closing, while Avelyn was taking a nap, she heard the bell for the shop go off and a knock at the door because she wasn't stupid to leave the door open. It was New York after all, she'd get robbed or worse kidnapped, not like her mother would mind if it happened.

"I'm coming." She yelled walking towards it. As she unlocked the door, a familiar figure bounded inside. "Were you sleeping on the job?" Morgan said.

Avelyn shrugged, "I'm my own boss. Why are you here?"

"I said I'd pick you up." Morgan stated like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Yeah at nine. Its five."

"Well its nine somewhere, plus I remembered that I can't trust you to get ready on your own." Morgan wasn't lying, if left up to her, she'd go to the club in a pair of jeans. She was really over her socialite days but Morgan didn't exactly care, if Avelyn was going out with her, she'd look damn good.

Avelyn was grateful to have a best friend that cared about her wellbeing as much as Morgan did but at the same time, it did get a little frustrating and tiring because Morgan was pretty high maintenance at times.

"Fine, just lemme close up."

"Oh, so this is what it looks like when it's open, could've fooled me."

Avelyn rolled her eyes, "You're lucky I love you." As she moved behind the counter to organize her stuff, Morgan took a seat at the same stool Bucky was on earlier.

"So what are we gonna do about lover boy?"

Avelyn's eyes widened in panic, there was no way in hell she was letting Morgan get involved. She'd scare the boy off because the Starks weren't exactly known for being the most subtle people ever.

"There's no we in this Morgs unless you're speaking French."

Morgan glared at her, "Avelyn, you gotta stop shutting me out like this. All I ever do is try to help you and you just push me away. You've gotten away with the excuse of being busy with the shop for too long now, when the truth is, you're just like Bucky, everytime someone tries to care for you, you push them away and I'm getting tired of it."

As much as it stung to hear, Avelyn knew what Morgan was the truth. She felt like a hypocrite really, judging Bucky for the same thing she'd been doing for over a year.

Avelyn sighed, "I'm sorry Morgan. You're right, I shouldn't push you away like that. It's just hard with everything that's happened."

"Lynn, we've been friends for almost our entire lives. I know you better than you know you, it shouldn't be hard. Instead of  making excuses, take accountability."

"I hate it when you're right." Avelyn said. Morgan rolled her eyes, "Ever since we met, I've always been right."

Avelyn thought back to the day when she first met Morgan.

It was the first day at her new kindergarten and Avelyn was incredibly nervous to be going to a new school. At school, she was called up to the front of the class by her teacher Ms. Birch to introduce herself.

"Hi, I'm Avelyn." That's all she could manage to get out in front the class. Ms. Birch had smiled gently at her and pointed to the only free seat, a red chair next to a pretty brown haired girl, "Go sit by Morgan."

Avelyn clutched her yellow backpack to her chest and reluctantly took the seat next to Morgan.

Morgan had smiled widely at her, "You were scared, weren't you?"

Avelyn nodded. Morgan was surprisingly articulate for her age but you couldn't expect less from the daughter of one of the smartest men in the world

"You don't speak much, do you?" Morgan asked.

Avelyn nodded again. To her, Morgan was intimidating, she was bold enough to start a conversation with someone she didn't even know. Oh, how she wished she could be like her.

"Well I talk enough for the both of us." She said, extending her hand, "I'm Morgan Stark and you are?"

"Avelyn Forsythe." Avelyn shyly took her hand and shook it.

"I think you and I are going to be great friends Avelyn Forsythe."

After that day, Avelyn and Morgan were practically inseparable. Her mother had been excited when she found out that Avelyn had made a friend, until she found out whose daughter Morgan was.

When she did, she tried everything to break up the friendship but the bond formed that day was inseparable and while Ava wasn't pleased, she ignored the friendship and avoided all unnecessary interaction with Morgan and after several very uncomfortable encounters at her house, Avelyn decided that it'd be best if she went to the Starks instead of letting Morgan come over.

Tony and Pepper, on the contrary were excited that Morgan had made a friend, because most of the other children were scared of her. Morgan had a tough shell but underneath that exterior, she was a total softie but most people didn't stick around long enough to find that out but Avelyn did and over the years, the Starks began to regard Avelyn as their own child, even letting her call them mom and dad.

When her own parents weren't there for her, Tony and Pepper were. For every fight with her parents and school dance, for her first date, boyfriend and heartbreak, for every birthday and Christmas, for every single event in her life, the Starks were there. Ava and Adam might have been her biological parents but Tony and Pepper were the ones who raised her into the woman she was.

"You're thinking about it too aren't you?" Morgan asked.

"About what?"

"The day we first met."

Avelyn had to admit that Morgan's sense of perception was annoyingly uncanny, "Yeah, I am. How'd you know?"

"Because I was thinking about it too." Morgan's voice was wistful and longing and in that moment, the air was thick with nostalgia. The memories of childhood innocence and naivete, of the happier days before the heartbreak and pain swirling around them and for the first time in a while, the coffee shop didn't seem so gray.

It was like the cloud of hopelessness and broken dreams surrounding the place had been lifted and Avelyn felt something in her chest, that hadn't been there in a while: the joy and hope she'd had the day she'd signed on the line to buy the shop.

The moment left as quickly as it came but Avelyn knew that something had changed.

Taking a deep breath, she smiled at Morgan, "Let's get out of here, we got a club that's calling our name."

"Now, that's the spirit Lynn." Morgan clapped her hands excitedly.

When Avelyn stepped around the counter, Morgan wrapped her hand in hers and began pulling her towards the door and despite all the craziness of the world, right then and there, it was like she and Morgan, were just two little kids running hand in hand on the playground, like they used to years ago.

"Thank you."

"Always."

When Morgan parked the Porsche in her driveway, Avelyn had never been more happy to get the hell out of a car. Morgan, just like her father drove like a maniac, she was pretty sure they'd committed at least fifteen driving offenses. The fact that they hadn't been pulled over was nothing short of a miracle.

"Now I remember why I don't get into cars with you." Avelyn gasped clutching her hand to her chest.

"Don't be such a baby Lynnie." Morgan rolled her eyes.

"I'm not a baby Morgs, you're just crazy."

Too caught up in their argument, they didn't even realise that Tony was walking towards them.

"Well, I see my car made it back in one piece."

Morgan shrugged, "I learnt to drive from you daddy."

"Which is exactly why I'm scared. Avelyn looks like you nearly killed her." Tony said taking in Avelyn's shaking form.

"Dad, I'm telling you she's a psychopath." Avelyn wrapped her arms around him in a hug. Tony smiled as he held her, "I missed you around here kiddo."

"I missed you guys too." In Tony's familiar arms, she felt at ease.

"Then maybe you should come round more often, you've always been my favorite child." Tony teased.

"Hey!" Morgan objected.

"I'm just joking Morgan, I love you both equally. Now why don't you kids run in and see your mom."

Walking into the Stark mansion was like coming home. The walls were covered in pictures of Tony, Pepper, Morgan and her, unlike her house where if you didn't know that Forsythes had a fifth child, no one would know about Avelyn.

As they walked towards the stairs, they heard the familiar clack of heels on the marble tiles and turned to see Pepper running towards them.

"Lynnie it's so good to see you again, I've missed you." Pepper squealed pulling Avelyn into a hug.

"I missed you too mom."

"How's the shop going?"

"Its honestly a mess." Morgan piped up. Avelyn turned and glared at her. Morgan shrugged innocently, "I'm just being honest."

"I wish you'd let us help you. We're more than willing." Pepper said gently.

Avelyn sighed, maybe it was time she put aside her pride and take the offer because if she didn't start making money soon, she'd lose the shop.

"I'll think about it, I promise."

Pepper smiled, "Good, do you girls want snacks or anything?"

Morgan rolled her eyes, "Mom, we're twenty six and going drinking, we do not need snacks."

"Lynn just make sure that she eats something. You know how she gets when she gets drunk on an empty stomach." Tony says walking into the room and pulling Pepper into a hug.

After holding back Morgan's hair in various club bathrooms for years and putting up with the crying and the extreme hangovers, Avelyn knew better and she mouthed a yes to Tony over Morgan's protests.

The familiarity of going out with her friends and just being back here with her family made Avelyn the happiest that she'd been in so long and internally she committed herself to having fun tonight because she deserved it. She swore not to think about her family or the shop or even Bucky but just to let loose and enjoy her first night out in over a year.

—————————

I hope you enjoyed the chapter and my taglist is open if anyone wants to be tagged for this story or all of my fics.

[mellowgirl01]

🍷 Sweet Wine 🍷

Master List     Pt. 1

❌❌Warning: Death/ funerals/ Gore❌❌

Word count: 3143

Characters: 15440

People: Adam x Y/N x Eve

Made for: @ladyfluff

Tag: @ladyfluff @may-bereblog @jaquellejohnson @mousee555 @littlefrogstuff

Request:No

Date:4/8/19

Summary:

This is may be the end but it’s the beginning of forever

A/N: And this ladies and gents is the ending. Since it was so long I made my final part 2 for such an amazing first serious. I really do hope that more people come in and or stay with me in the long run. I loved this and it was the fist FF that I ended so it really does mean a lot to me from your comments and re-blogs and hearts. Thank you. After this I will be taking requests so don’t be shy and feel free to ask. Even if it’s smut.- xoxo Mellow

Y/N P.O.V

As I looked all around Adam’s office I smiled thinking of the many ways that he met all of his so called heros. Well I guess they are rather, heroes of literature, art, and music. Saving lives one at a time with just their talent and a love for it. Down stairs I could hear Adam play his violin and other many instruments. He had been down ever since Eve moved back to Tangier. We were oth sad when she left of course, but understood. Everything was fine now and she still had her home to take care of. I can still see his face when she left. Sad and a little heartbroken. more than he usually was. It was my tun to take care of him and make sure that he wasn’t in his head all the time. I thought that while I was up here I might as well do some snooping. I figured that he wouldn’t mind since it was me..right?

Looking down to his desk I went to go and open his drawer. To my surprise it was open and not locked. He must have unlocked it once Ava left. Adam was forever a secret, even to me and Eve he was always like a book filled with blank pages that needed a special light to see what was written down in it. But that said light was locked away in a volt down in the ocean. So as annoying as it sounds it was just as annoying trying to talk him out of getting more into the real world. I would take him out with me at night just on some midnight snack runs. It was babysits and for that I was proud of him but I needed to know what he might like so that I can show him that the world may be bad but it’s a lot worse when your the only one sulking in the thought of the world being so barren and dark. So looking through his many journals and books to me was a mandatory. If I wanted him to look forward to the future then I might as well give him a little push in the right direction then let him do the rest.

I skimmed through the pages taking down some notes in a blank notebook that sat on top of the desk and was quick to write them all down just incase he decided to come up and see what kept me. Even through the past week I was reading some of the books he had and listening to the music he favored. He had no reason to wonder what I was doing and I guess thought that It was just my way of connecting with him more. In a way it was but it won't my only reason. Icumbled the notes i took down and placed them on the inside of the leather jacket Adam gave me. Heading down the stairs and grabbing my bag for when I would sleepover. Smiling at him and giving him a kiss on the cheek as I stood ready to go home for the night.

With this he didn’t look to pleased as usual but I cocked my eyebrow to let him know that I just wasn't in the mood for his ‘but you can stay with me talk’. I had work in the morning and needed to rest in the house that I PAYED FOR. Thankfully he stayed quiet all except for a loud grunt while getting up and getting his keys and glasses. Was he never too cool?

As we drove down the road I looked to him and smiled. Probably sensing my stair he looked back at me for a moment before looking back to the road.

“What?”

“Your cute face.”

He chuckled

“I’m everything but cute. Now you~ on the other hand you're adorable.”

“Yeah you're a grouch.”

“Is that so?”

“Mhm.”

Another chuckle escaped his lips before silence filled the air again. He rolled down the windows a bit since the car did feel a bit warm with the summer weather approaching. He looked so beautiful with the many streetlights that passed by him. Forever beautiful..forever..

It never occured to me until now that I wouldn’t have that with him, or Eve..What the fuck do I do now? They had technically had just gotten me back and soon another version of me would be taking the spot that I was in. The thought hurt me, of them having to start all over again with someone new that might not even love them back. How long would they have to wait? Would they even work out? Would they be beautiful? More than me? No..I have given a Love to them that I know cannot be replaced. The old me was the same way. She was irreplaceable and won’t ever come back again. Now it’s my turn to feel the love that was stolen from her. To feel the love that I deserve. The thing was as I began to think about this Adam started to hum a tune that he loved. The radio was on was was the only light in the car that worked. This! I never wanted this to end. The small moments like these are ones that are highly monday and for everyone else could be easily forgotten but not for me. These moments are mine. Adam and Eve are mine! How in the hell am I gonna keep them? Maybe-

“Alright dove, like you asked. Home.”

“Wha?”

“We're here. What’s wrong you don’t wanna leave now?”

“Ah no it’s not that it’s just. I wanna..never mind goodnight.”

“Y/N, hey wait!”

I heard him calling out my name but I didn’t pay him any mind. I was quick to walk into my apartment and get upstairs. Face planting down on my bed face first I screamed into my pillow. Few minutes went by of me sobbing into my pillow about things I couldn’t change and my phone went off. I wiped my face to look at the screen and I saw that It was Adam saying ‘I’m sorry that I made a fuss about you staying, didn’t mean to make you feel so channed to me I really didn't.” The message continued but I couldn’t bring myself to read what I had done to my poor lover who didn't know what the fuck was going on in my own head! Great! Just fucking fantastic! Not only did I fuck up on trying to get Adam to open up his mind but I made him think that I was shutting him out! I sobbed a little bit more before going to sleep, crying.

That night I had a dream of a huge church and a few of my friends and long lost relatives sitting down in all black. They sat like stachues as roses both white and red scattered on tip of the black slick casket. The pastor of the church patted my shoulder and lead me up to it. Opening it I saw that there was nothing inside, when I turned to look back at the man all their was that looked back at me were eyes of black. My view shifted as He stood over my body lying in the casket. I wanted to scream but couldn’t for some odd reason. My voice stayed stuck in my lungs as he closed it. I felt as though I was falling with no end. With a loud thud I stopped and silence filled the air once more. A little glimmer of light shown in my carddle of death and i got to look at my hands to see that my skin was rotting like some type of dead animals. My nails turning black as I felt my face starting to just fall off as I tried to reach for the pieces of flesh that kept falling off. Only to no avail. The way I smelled was nothing of kindness either. The smell was like a never opened and festering can of shit and piss.

“But she was so beautiful.”

“She’ll be reborn again my starman.”

“But we loved her.”

“Adam?!! EVE?!! I’M NOT GONE!!! WAIT! PLEASE HELP ME!! PLEASEE! I DON’T WANNA DIE!!! PLEASE!!!”

“I know love. Come on.”

I kept on screaming and banging on the coffin head above me as I bugs come crawling into the cracks of the hell room I had been put in. Feasting on my dead flesh and getting into the crevices of the rotten holes that filled my body. Pounding and pounding hard onto the walls of the room I was buried in I heard the dirt splash upon the top of the coffin and make whatever light there was become dim to down me into the deepest and darkest sea of the unknown and unkind darkness. Still I screamed and begged and called out for help until I was finally woken by my next door neighbor who shook me awake. I had never been so happy to see- Sarrah..

Not really getting all that much of a good look on her I realized that she looked just like Sarah!

“Hey, it’s okay! Everything is alright! My god you must have been having the worst dream possible if you could destroy your wall like that.”

I was horrified when I looked to my left to see that in fact I punched two indents into my wall that would now have to be replaced. This was the straw that broke my back and I just started out of nowhere balling. I really wanted to be able to get my deposit for the apartment and now that was gone! Then the dream and the reality of the dream were just too much. My neighbor whose name was Lily comforted me rubbing her hand against my back.

“Jesus love you really must be going through it. What happened? Did that weirdo from last night hurt you?!!! Tell me Y/N-”

I let it slip out…

“Sarrah just stop you wouldn't understand!..I..I um I mean..”

“..How the fuck did you know? Who told you..No your just messing with me Y/N stop playing around like that! I’m serious now Y/N who in the bloody fuck her you?!”

“Adam and Eve..Sarrah..that night I got shot..you were in the room with me. What the fuck happened to you?”

Her face became the word shocked. Her eyes were As wide as the moon and her lips quivered as though she were about to cry, hell she was after a tear fell smoothly down her face and under her chin. She took her hands into mine and I noticed that they were just as dead cold as Adam and Eve’s. Putting my hand to her cheek she started crying instead of me and hugged me tighter than tight. I squealed so that she would let go of me a bit and she understood. Being so excited she pulled me to my feet and started jumping up and down screaming that I had finally remembered. I covered her mouth and sat down with her on my bed and talked with her for a bit. The clock next to my ed side said 5 AM so I only had a few more hours before I had to get ready for work. I talked with her about what happened and she did the same. Her and Bartholomew got married and are traveling one year at a time. She talked about how and where they planned on settling down forever.

“Man..so you have fragments of her memories but your not her at all?”

“Well I can’t say at all because, then I wouldn’t even know anything So I guess i'm similar just not really. We’re still different people period.”

“I see, well now that you’ve found them. Are you?”

“Am I what?”

“Gonna change. Like how I did?”

“...Well. Yes, I think I-”

“No, now see that’s where you’ve already fucked up on. You have got to know whether your willing to give this all up or not. This is no joke Y/N this is serious. Blood is running low nowadays and there's more and more of us dying off as we speak. You have to be ready to take this life..If not then..Well I don’t know.”

“Teach me.”

“What?”

“Tell me what it’s like to become this, a vampire! Just only for a few weeks, then i’ll decide whether or not I wanna go through with this. PLease Sarrah!! I need to know if this is as serious as you say it is. I want Adam and Eve forever this time.Me and only me not pass me not that girl way back, me.”

Sarah nodded her head in agreement and with a smile she stared right into my eyes.

“Okay, but you have to ask them to change you.”

Within those many months I was living a double life with keeping the secret from Adam and Eve about what I was learning and how I found Sarrah and her lover again. I learned about a lot of basic thing that really wasn't that hard to understand. The reason why it took her so long too was the fact that Sarrah and her husband were always out somewhere in the night and or moonlight having the time of their lives being young forever. When she told me that I Had finally learned everything that I needed to know I felt ready too. This was it, my future that I would be going into. A new season and form that a new me then the one I look at in the mirror. Well internal rather. Getting up and waiting for Adam to come and pick me up I got dressed in something that was a bit more special. Putting on ripped stripped sweater and a long skirt with my favorite and only ankle boots I put my hair in a half bun with the rest of my hair hanging down. I tried to make myself look as cute as possible but also casual so Adam wouldn't get susice. He was a man of detail at times so he knew when something was up. I heard the horn of his car and took a deep breath before leaving my final letter to my old friends and whoever cared about my existence..Today was the day in my mind. It would start here..I left my phone, my clothes, and every single picture that I had took with me and my parents. Sarrah Said that she would vouch for me and that she would tell the landlord what fake story we came up with. Only taking my favorite stuffed animal with me and my camera. I left it all. And left the key on top of the mat and my credit card and the rest of the money I had left on the kitchen island inside..It felt so surreal, But invigorating! Exciting! Only few had ever done this and I was actually happy to say that I was one of them.

For reasons of Love..not selfish desire..just love

Walking into the house of the old victorian,I was scooped up out of nowhere by a pair of pale white and thin arms that were surprisingly strong. I didn't fight since I could already know who it was from just the sent of her coat. Hugging her back like as though I was gonna lose her, I relished in the sent of my Eve. Back in my arms, same and in one whole piece.

“I missed you sweet dove.”

“I missed you more.”

Letting each other go we saw Adam go past us slightly smiling. Going into the living room/ sound room to plop down on the couch. He was happy. I reached up to kiss Eve’s soft lips as she held onto my waist swaying with me.

“When did you get here?”

“Last night. But Adam told me that you were too tired to come over so he didn’t pick you up.”

“But I would have had the energy of a thousand cheetahs if  it was you who I got to see.”

“Hey, what am I? Chopped liver?”

“Best can of that shit that I've ever seen. I don’t even know how in the hell zombies stomached those things.”

“Don’t look at me, I have no clue either.”

We got to catch up while snuggling on the couch and I felt it was the right time for me to ask the big question.No more small talking or backing out now. Once I left the key to my apartment I also left my building’s key with Sarah as her and her hubby were out of town. So their was really no going back now.

“I wanna change..permanently. I want to become like you both.”

The room fell silent with no more laughter, or even barely breathing. Surely not from me either. I looked to both of them and their faces were the same. ‘What the fuck did she just say?’ Their reaction would have made me laugh at any other time but I knew that if I started laughing they would think it’s a joke. Adam for the first time in forever had a smile from ear to ear. As his fangs were out and without an ounce of fear or anything it seemed in his mind. He was completely all for it until Eve slapped his shoulder and raised her eyebrows.

“Eve I know what I’m getting myself into! I met with Sarrah and-”

“Sarrah!!? How in the hell is she still alive?!!”

“Please just let me finish!..My greatest fear for these past few months has been the fact that at some point and at some time I could be taken away again. At least this version of me. And if we really are about change and you both getting to know the new me? I find there no other way then to change me. I love you both and understand the consequences but I just can’t think of anyone else, with you both. Your mine and i’m yours right?..Right?!!”

Eve just looked at Adam and he sighed putting away his fangs.

“Stay here. We need to converse alone about this too.”

“Okay?..”

As they got up I stayed still down stairs. Please, please say yes..Please. I love you…

[aleatoryalarmalligator]

Life Story Part 36

Life went on this way for a month or so, maybe two. Zack would unveil new depths and oddities about himself everyday. It seemed to be something he made an enormous amount of effort to do. He showed me where, between his thumb and pointer finger, his cousin had once accidentally shot him with a beebee back in Minnesota. The little ball stayed between his thumb and finger and you could still feel it in there. He told me about how his heart was on the wrong side of his chest, and doctors said he wasn't going to make it past ten, but he seemed to still be around so he would probably be fine now. Everything he told me was recorded carefully and meticulously in my understanding of the whole. I should have been happy, I didn't really have to do anything, and Zack was just there everyday. But then, I found myself more stressed. I was giddy, but this wasn't fun. His paranoia went as far as he suspected that many of the people in the school and in the town had been replaced by robots. I found myself getting these waves of nausea and confusion around him. I didn't know why. I didn't know what to do with anything he said either. It seemed like making him feel better wasn't the point. It seemed like happiness wasn't the point of anything anymore.

And I was confused. He courted me for months. Just when all the stars and the moon had aligned, some force had mysteriously reset the chessboard. And then he disappeared and come back with an entirely different mindset about me. I now felt like I was under his control, but like I was more of a disciple or a councilor. Do you court people for eight months, and then give them an unromantic role in your life once you have completely overthrown their autonomic sense of reality and they are willing to walk off a cliff if you merely asked it of them? Because that is what ended up happening. And despite all of that, I would have killed for Zack. I would have done whatever he said. I felt like he had systematically taken me apart and was putting me back together in a new way. All the while, I felt cheated. I just wanted him to feel the same way for me that I felt for him. But I was willing to put myself through this for him. I came to school shaky every morning. I was not able to sleep, simply waiting for second hour to roll around once again.

Maybe too, when it really came down to it, I was afraid of the intimacy in the situation. Nobody had ever confided in me like this. There was this need to resist it, and run, but a stronger pull to give into it entirely. It really hurt. It forced me to confront Zack as a real person rather than an idea. I have a natural tendency to like people be they a friend, a hero or a romantic interest and then put them in a frame and hang them on the walls of my inner world to look up to and see the best in them. I love these people. But when I have to jump into the frame with these individuals, I feel very awkward. I sometimes see sides to these people I didn't want to see. What if I become disenfranchised and that person is nothing as I thought they were? Then I have ruined a beautiful thing, and I will have to take down the picture, leaving a barren empty space where that person used to be. But more likely than that, I feel like I am afraid I cannot live up to the great beauty that I saw in the other. So me jumping in the frame as an equal was/is hard. I feel like I am making a beautiful thing that I value less beautiful, and the stress to do everything with a novelesque perfection is very high.

Also, I couldn't tell if Zack was losing his mind or not. Maybe he was, maybe I was. Or maybe we lived in a very fucked up world that was out of touch with greater things. I had no other information to go on. I didn't feel like I could talk to anyone anymore. Obviously there were no adults who understood or cared. Calling my feelings a crush didn't quite cut it anymore. I tried to explain that this was like we were speaking to one another on a higher plane of existence, but that made zero sense to my friends, what little I might have said to my mother or sisters, and it was something my father could never know about – and in any case I already knew he didn't get that sort of thing.

Sarah suddenly seemed very feeble to me and unsure of herself. She seemed to look up to me in a way she never had before, and this was largely because Zack put so much value in me. Nobody believed I had magic powers of course besides him. I never believed that either, not for one moment. But it still did scramble the way Sarah looked at me. I knew this because she was comparing herself to me in his eyes, and I could see that plain as day in the way she talked, behaved and thought of herself. It made me weary. Why? And didn't she understand that my position didn't feel good at all? Like, I was addicted to it. I was terribly addicted. But now I had to worry about someone I was in love with being schizophrenic, and secret societies. I had to force myself to think day and night about how to best live up to this great authenticity that Zack was looking for. There was no cuddling or fun stuff. This was a soul-searching mess. But all she saw really was power. That's all that Ava saw. It reminded me of something my father had once explained to me.

Though he is wrong about a great many things concerning human relations, he told me once that humans, like every animal in the animal kingdom serve and long for power. It's so engrained in us that we don't even know it. We immediately see it in other people. We search for it in ourselves. We have different language we use to disguise this fact, but every micro detail in any given situation and you will see the transfer of power between two people. Every thought you have is a search for a new way to find power, a way to maintain it, or a reaction from a fear of losing it. You can see it in the body language of any two people talking. Human beings are in a constant state of war, even at the best of times. We are a violent and chaotic animal who lusts for power, in all it's various forms. Even eastern religion, which seeks in some ways to eliminate the lust for power, is in itself a facet of the same problem. It's an attempt to wipe away temptation and desire itself, which are considered weakness or hindrances to greater enlightenment more like. I never wanted to believe that really, but I was starting to see it as a truth that I could not avoid.  It was weird to think that just two years ago Sarah had been schooling me on why I wasn't cool and she was.

Ava wouldn't look at me if I talked about Zack at all. She had been acting really strange lately, well, stranger than ordinary. She was acting impulsive and greedy in just about every scenario. She left absolutely no room in conversation for anyone else. She was still funny, and I still enjoyed being around her but in a sense she wasn't fun like before. She had become vainglorious. She would call me on the phone, and then just talk without hearing or responding to anything I said. It was getting to where I didn't like her calling me anymore, though I didn't want to admit that to myself. I took her phone calls more and more reluctantly.

And Samantha was not really apart of 'the group' anymore. Sure, she ate lunch with us, would share her pencils and paper. She seemed to like Sarah okay, and was still around us, but she had her boyfriend up in Moscow, Adam and what happened between her and Adam, or sometimes other guys she talked to on the internet was all that mattered to her anymore. And there was nothing about our little lives that interested her really. She had ambitions to go to college, and I think my attitude against the institution of our little lives kind of annoyed her. She wanted to work with the system that existed, excel and get by. Not question everything to bits hoping to tear down society and restructure it in some new way as I was naively beginning to propose at the lunch table on lunch break.

I remember quite distinctly waking up every morning riddled with a massive amount of anxiety and adrenaline. I would feel sick to my stomach, but excited. Everyday something compelling and new would happen, and I was changing rapidly. In the class that Zack and I did most of our talking FFA, there was another class going on for a very small minority of seniors who were learning how to weld. And there was this smell of burning metal that I will never forget. It mixed with my anxiety, and I imagined myself to be an animal being helplessly ground into a machine with that unnatural smell all around me. And then Zack's eyes. It all muddled together and when I think of it now, I still can almost smell it. I would always start my day by listening to Vegetable Man and Baby Lemonade by Syd Barrett. Ava had burned me these two songs to disc and I would listen to them on repeat every morning as I got ready. Then, I would I'd skip breakfast and fly up the hill. I could feel absolutely no pain in my legs at all, which was weird. If you have ever run for your life, in total fear, then you might get my meaning. Your legs just don't register the pain. I was rushing up the hill as fast as I could. Once I got to the top, I would look down at the school on the other side of the hill and see if I could spot Zack. He would often be waiting for me, a little tall green flannel speck with blonde hair waiting for me.

One of the times I ran down there, and first thing he learned the entirety of Bohemian Rhapsody over the weekend and was just being absurd and singing off all the lines. He had taken out the time learning all the lyrics just so he could be entertaining and funny and sing them to me when I got to school. Zack also made me tapes of his songs. He mostly covered Nirvana, but also did a Jimi Hendrix song, The Rolling Stones, and Dead Leaves on the Dirty Ground. He sounded like Thurston Moore if Thurston Moore was drunk and trying very hard to sound like Jimi Hendrix. At the time, he I thought he was the best singer I had ever heard.

Because I had not signed up for Driver's Ed in January, I missed out on a fair amount of time that I could have spent hanging out with with my friends and Zack. I was already beginning to see the error in my ways. How could I have been so dumb? How had I not realized that Zack was going to be in the class? So twice a week for several months I was forced to hear about how they all would hang out in the elementary school. Zack would often say that he really wished I was there. But what could I do? It was too late. And there was a part of me that was skeptical about my ability to drive. My father's girlfriend Tammy had taken me out for a drive on an old dirt road, and I had mistaken the break for the speed peddle and in a panic I had pointed the car to veer off the road and into a ditch. I had fortunately found the break milliseconds before we would have flown off the road. Tammy had me get out of the vehicle and we all drove back. I felt very strongly that perhaps there was something wrong with my common sense when it came to things like this. I could not immediately tell my left from my right either. In fact, a lot of this stuff seemed to be somewhat of a genetic gift from my mom. I had always grown up hearing about what a terrible driver she was, and how she should not have a license. And she couldn't tell her left from her right very quickly either.

Zack and I never did end up going to prom, though, my other friends all went did go. I didn't own any dresses or any nice clothes at all really, and I would have been too afraid to wear a dress if I had owned one. So I stayed home. Samantha and Adam went together Sam wearing just a t-shirt and fishnets. Ava's mom had bought Ava this gothic nurse uniform. And they had gotten the DJ to play Marilyn Manson and it was a grand scene I am sure, the entire redneck community reeling angrily the horrors of 'The Nobodies' (I do imagine that Marilyn Manson would have been quite proud).

Perhaps I should have found a way. But I really felt like there was this bridge between me and the rest of the world. I no longer could be a part of the world somehow. One may say this was depression, and maybe there was some of that. It just felt like I had a duty to distance myself from society. I could no longer feel comfortable in any group. I had troubles even standing with my friends in a circle. Because, were they my friends? Were they really? Even if Zack were wrong about most of what he had said about secret societies running the world, or especially about the whole robot replica replacement thing (dead wrong on this one for so so so many reasons), there really was no ignoring that I was starting to see this pattern with people. I had followed along my entire life, but something had always seemed wrong. Some little voice in the back of my head always knew something was up.

This reexamination of society was the starting point to me thinking critically about things. I was wrong on just about every assessment I made about society, psychology, aesthetics, philosophy and whathaveyou when this all began. Zack wasn't really all that correct about much – nor was he the bag of wisdom I made him out to be, but ultimately, this was the beginning point for my discourse with life itself. I have never woken up a single day of my life without a serious question formed and ready to analyze. I can reach back to before this time and understand myself emotionally, but honestly most of the thoughts I had before this time were quite primitive. I have troubles connecting with my former self intellectually. Seeing my first fourteen years of life is more like watching a movie of a stranger doing things that I barely understand. I was still me. I recognize the emotional wiring of that young girl quite well, as well as a few other inclinations. But my thought patterns were not much to speak of.

Tammy and I went to the Metallica concert. The concert was being held in a very large stadium up in Spokane. Our seats were very far and very high up from stage itself. I had never been in such a big stadium in my life, and as we went up the steep steps, I worried that I might fall. I relied more on an enormous screen projected for the masses to watch, to get a decent view than we did from actual eyesight alone. From eyesight alone, the members of Metallica looked like toy wrestlers you might buy at the dollar store. I was more excited about Godsmack. I've gotten over Godsmack and Metallica now. They don't resonate with who I am anymore. But I will give them something. The singer of Godsmack had this strange moment where he went into this strange chanting episode and stopped playing music that people recognized. He played these strange drums, and it was very trance inducing and dissonant and almost had this otherworldly vibe that made me feel strange. He did this for about ten minutes. I personally was most impressed with this part of the show than any other part of the show and to this day it's most of what I remember. The drummer of Metallica kept passing out, and then they would drag him back to the drums upon his request. I have no idea if this was a stunt or not.

That Easter was a strange one. I ended up having Sarah and Ava over for a sleepover. We stayed up late, talking and laughing about various topics. My father came home, and was snoring so loud that the entire upstairs and downstairs rang with the sawing sounds of his snores. Then Tammy came over late and drunk. We could hear her drunken steps going up to my father's bedroom, and much to my disgust, they began having loud ridiculous sex. My friends and I all held our ears. It's never been my idea of fun to listen to my parents going at it. It seemed to last forever. Eventually, all three of us just started holding our ears and singing over the noises, but nothing seemed to stop it. I knew they must have heard us singing as loud as we could, but they didn't seem to hear. Ava pointed out that there was no way that Tammy wasn't faking it.

Later that night, after my father and Tammy had fallen asleep, Ava started getting paranoid and freaking out. It was three or four in the morning, and we were all sitting in my old room next to the stairs, and they too could hear the footsteps through the house that belonged to no one marching up and down the steps checking room to room. I was used to the ghost noises. But my friends were horrified. And then we started hearing footsteps outside the window. But there was no one out there. Ava was being so out of control with her loud panicking that I was beginning to ignore her. It was unsettling. But as far as I was concerned, nothing was even a fourth as scary if your friends were there with you. These girls didn't know the half of what I dealt with alone. Ordinarily, this kind of thing happened when I was alone. It was eerie as hell, made me feel paranoid and sick to my stomach. I would get scared, force myself to lay down frozen and then force myself to go to sleep to end the agony of thinking about who/what had walked up to my door and had stopped.

I decided to try to ignore Ava's manic hollering, who was more of a nuisance than the noises outside my bedroom window were and everyone knew that she did this kind of thing off and on for attention. She kept insisting to me there was a ball of light outside my bedroom window. I didn't believe her and told her to stop. She kept insisting that there was one though. So I looked out there, and sure enough, there was a light that was moving around in suspension. It wasn't with such bright intensity that you couldn't see through it, it wasn't a perfect orb. It was slightly blue and more soft in texture. It moved a little bit, and then would move back. The outside of my window was a covered porch. It moved up to the ceiling part of the porch. I just kind of watch fascinated, and in all curiousness, I tried to find a light source. There were no street lights that would have created this. It was not beaming from any particular direction. Tammy and my father were both upstairs asleep. It just stayed there by the window, and eventually floated away.

In FFA, by the draw of a hat, Zack and I were placed in a group together that would be our project in that class. Basically, we had to come up with a farm structure. I knew nothing about agriculture or farming and had zero interest, but Zack said he knew a little bit and we would muddle through it. Also, in our group was this older popular athlete named Casey. He told us first and foremost that he thought the both of us were dirty trash, and he had no intention of failing this class on account of us. Just because we lived like degenerates, did not mean that he wanted to as well. Eventually, he talked Mrs. Gulke into getting out of our group, which she complied. Zack and I spent the first two weeks just talking. We got nothing done besides that. Then, in the last week or so, we started working on it. For me, it was kind of embarrassing because for there to be a Sanborn-Brunes joint family farm, would that not mean that one or both of us had to be related by marriage? It just seemed kind of obvious that most of these types of these shared arrangements were brought on by a marriage of some type. I remember little of the details involving this project, other than that Zack was insistent that we have a lot of silos and some kind of aircraft to drop the seeds. Zack had an older brother named Jimmy who flew planes for a living. Jimmy had been Zack's mother's first son with another father, but the child had been taken away by her mother due to her being mentally unstable. Zack's mom had been institutionalized for mental health reasons in the past.

When we went up to do our report in front of the class, Zack did most of the talking. And somehow we passed.

It was becoming painfully obvious that Ava could not stand me being Zack's friend in any way. When Zack would come up to talk to me, she would literally use her physical body at times to separate us from conversing. It was so absurd that it was becoming comical. I no longer had any doubts that Ava was jealous, it was too obvious. It did upset me a little bit, but then I did remember that Zack had told me that he didn't think Ava was a very nice person. What I didn't understand was why he thought that. It had seemed to me that everyone had liked one another just fine that winter. I was tired of beating a dead horse, but I still felt like there was something missing.

One day, I think it was for a health class, our health teacher decided to take us for a walk. It was a bright sunny May day. Jason was back in school. I remember as he was walking with us, he walked ahead of us and went into some old geyser's house to ask for a cigarette and come back. Ava was trying to separate herself with Zack. We all watched as she shoved between me and Sarah, and was standing so shoulder to shoulder with Zack that it was hard for him to walk without touching her. And I remember he finally had to stop her and tell her to give him space. He told her he specifically just wanted to hang out with me that day. Ava was infuriated, and she ended up walking away to walk with Teal instead. Zack and I walked together. I was so happy. I felt like things were finally back to normal. On our way back to the high school, Zack held my hand and we sort of skip-walked and sang Buddy Holly by Weezer.

I was blissed out. Zack regarded me over everyone else. I knew everything was going to be alright and work out in the end. The world softened. I remember thinking that it might have been one of the best days of my entire life as I laid on my bed saturated in glowing happiness after school. I could finally put the uneasiness of the previous months behind me. Then Ava called.

Ava had something to tell me. She seemed upset and nervous. I tried to hide it, but some part of me already knew somehow. It had been unable to form in conscious thought, but somehow I had known. She wouldn't quite tell me until I coaxed her out of it. She finally told me. She had fooled around with Zack. During that fateful basketball game that I had been unable to attend, she made plans with him to go to his house after school. He initially had wanted me to go to his house, but she had found a way to intercede with this and go alone. And she had initiated the whole thing.

The air was knocked out of me. And I felt sick. Nothing was real anymore. As she got more comfortable talking about it, I could tell she was actually enjoying the fact that she could tell me, mostly to brag really. I couldn't move, or talk. All I could think to ask was, 'did you kiss him?' She was confused by that upsetting me the most. She thought all the sex stuff was going to bother me, and it did. But the idea of him kissing her made me the most sick.

I ended up getting off the phone. I was disembodied. I thought about killing myself, but I didn't have any real way to do it at the moment. Plus, my little brother and sister Allison and David were home, and that wouldn't have been right. I couldn't really breath. I was dizzy, falling in and out of consciousness. There is a threshold of pain where, you are besides yourself with pain, and you are able to consciously recognize 'I am in pain.' This is what most pain feels like to a varying extent. But I was not able to do that. I was pain. Pain was all there was. I didn't even know what I was doing. I filled the bathtub with the hottest water that would come out of the tap, and I got in. It burned. My skin grew red. My head was burning. The water hurt me less than my mind did.

Eventually I crawled out of the tub when I hit a point where I couldn't take it. I curled up with a towel in the corner and I tried to scream but nothing came out. I felt myself floating out of my own body, and I seemed to look down at myself in the corner. And then I don't remember anything until I woke up an hour and a half later.

I was shell shocked at school the next day and for the rest of my time in school. I told Sarah about it. She seemed shocked and thought that was really fucked up. I think she tried her best to step outside of herself and understand, but there was no way she could. I just felt empty and drained and used. I felt like Zack had used me in his own way. Ava had used me. I was a fucking idiot. I could see through things now. The world was a cruel place and there was only ever any meaning if you were the one who held the power. I thought very seriously about death. I thought it might be better if I simply killed myself. But I didn't do it. I just kept living somehow. Zack continued to talk to me more or less just the same. For a week there, I fully expected the world to end. But the world is a funny place like that. Everything can fall apart, and yet it just seems like things keep going. I watched Allison and David play outside with their friends, just as I had done when I had been younger. My dad carried on his relationship, BBQing chicken outside. Cars commuted, the school buses went their normal routes. Ava and Sarah found other things to talk about. The world was not going to end for me, or anyone else.

I became very monotone in person. The only time I let myself have thoughts or feelings was behind a pencil or a keyboard. I stumbled through my classes mostly observing the rest of the world that I could never be apart of again. I had spent several years taking typing classes, and I had never been able to type very fast, but now that I had racing thoughts, I had suddenly overnight developed a knack for typing at a rapid pace. The keyboard was an extension of my brain. I would come home from school and write every day. They were no longer suicide letters or dear diary entries, but loose ideas about how I thought the world operated, or metaphors of what life was.

I also lied and told everyone I no longer had a crush on Zack. This was true, but not the way people thought. I no longer thought crush really summed up how I felt. Aside from being deeply disappointed that he had given into Ava's desperate need to get laid. I felt the love that I had for Zack had transformed into an agape type of love that was hard to even put into words. Like I had known him all my life. I took my feelings, I locked them up. Nobody I knew had the right to see the real me anymore.

It actually wasn't for another week that I heard the full story. Ava, Sarah, Teal and Sam, all of them had known, but nobody had told me. Zack had been dating Melissa since November. On the weekends, he had been up in Moscow with his sister Whitney, Melissa, and her older brother Josh. That means that all the times he had said he loved me, held my hand, tried to kiss me, all the things he had said, or expressed to me had been kind of like cheating. It had all been empty. I had been living a complete and total lie. And then what he had done with Ava had most certainly been cheating in a way that was empty and dishonest. It was so dismal and I was so disappointed that I had to laugh at how horrible it all actually was. It was the kind of thing that punches you in the nose so hard that it's almost funny. Samantha – to give credit to her indifference, had been the one who had told me the truth. Sarah had only known for a short time. Ava had known for several months, and so had Sam, but she just hadn't felt like telling me anything because it didn't matter to her. I was in the library, and Sam told me the truth.

What I felt then was more like anger. And of course it as Melissa all along. She had been the one who had taken interest in me to begin with. She had been the one who had infiltrated my friends and gotten them to throw rocks at me, the one who had known I had liked Kyle when I did. And yet, I really didn't dislike her. I didn't think that any of this had actually been her fault. She didn't know about what Zack had been up to in Kendrick, or about Ava or me. It would have been convenient to pin this all on her somehow, but Zack was at fault. There was no other way about it.

My friends just accepted that I didn't like Zack anymore. Sarah may have partially understood that I was not being entirely honest, but it was something that I think everyone wanted to believe was true. I learned how to put on an ere of indifference. I asked Ava details about what she had done. It made me sick to hear it, but I knew that if I wanted to be the kind of person that faced the truth, than I needed to put my feelings behind me, or test my own feelings by allowing myself knowledge that hurt me personally. Perhaps there was a level of self destruction in forcing myself to listen to the fine details. Ava was all too happy to tell me.

In details of how she had gone about it and why, I learned that Teal had pushed and supported her going and doing this. In Teal's eyes, I was a weak female who didn't know how to take what I wanted in life and therefore didn't deserve it. In fact, I deserved to have failure rubbed into my eyes. She thought that girls like me deserved to get hurt. Also, she didn't think friends should have any dibs on guys. If you had more power, and your friend was dating someone you liked, it was in order that you ruthlessly take what you feel you deserve. Might makes right. When I asked Ava why she had done it, she had told me she was horny, as if that was obvious and a good enough answer. I was really baffled. I couldn't believe a person would just destroy their friend's life like that just because they were horny. I mean, did she not have hands?

I also talked to Sarah. I think Ava was trying to get me to turn on Sarah, and I wasn't having any of it. I started thinking back to the beginning of the year when we had still been friends with Katie. It was only now that it truly occurred to me that Ava had screwed Katie over and manipulated her, much like she was trying to manipulate me. Why would she do this? When you looked at Ava's history of friends, none of them stayed, and many people seemed to have a strong negative feeling towards her. I understood now that this was no accident. Ava was a bridge burner, and she did it for no better reason than she was insatiable, and was good at finding new bridges. She burned me as soon as she was able, without a second thought.

When talking to Sarah also, I carefully crafted a question. I had always felt she was jealous. But there had never been any proof. She was polite, kept her distance. But she seemed highly dissatisfied with Zack and me just the same. I phrased it carefully, and I asked her 'If you could magically go back in time and replace me, so it had been you who had gotten close to Zack instead of me, would you do it? She was nervous. 'Yes'. Her voice was shaking over the phone. I closed my eyes.

I went home the day I found out that Zack had been dating Melissa this whole time, and I was angry, but not at anyone in particular. This seemed beyond help. I was angry at the world. Everything was one massive cruel joke. I had tried hard to be such a good person, and it meant literally nothing to no one. I was the weak fool who saw the best in everyone and it had ended up leaving me burned and broken. I took one the kitchen chairs, and I threw it as hard as I could. The legs shattered. I threw the pieces until the chair was a heap of wood. I realized that I had created an enormous knick in the wood floor. That knick is still cut into that floor to this day.

PART 35 - http://tinyurl.com/ya5xhe2f

PART 34 - http://tinyurl.com/yc6y4p69

PART 33 - http://tinyurl.com/y87449dz

PART 32 - http://tinyurl.com/ycetanep

PART 31 - http://tinyurl.com/yae3o4rd

PART 30 - http://tinyurl.com/ybht9aul

PART 29 - http://tinyurl.com/ybfcr9j2

PART 28 - http://tinyurl.com/yagdlo47

PART 27 - http://tinyurl.com/ydcj5fgf

PART 26 - http://tinyurl.com/y73nvl73

PART 25 -  http://tinyurl.com/y6v6pgoj

PART 24 - http://tinyurl.com/ycak5d8r

PART 23 - http://tinyurl.com/yac6sk3g

PART 22 -  http://tinyurl.com/yat6cfnw

PART 21 -  http://tinyurl.com/y783egno

PART 20 - http://tinyurl.com/y8jskymt

PART 19 - http://tinyurl.com/rfhbms8

PART 18 - http://tinyurl.com/ycrznrwk

PART 17 - http://tinyurl.com/y77unlng

PART 16 - http://tinyurl.com/yadpsv8c

PART 15 - http://tinyurl.com/yb3lt6k5

PART 14 - http://tinyurl.com/yb4cfedq

PART 13 - http://tinyurl.com/yalanq9s

PART 12 - http://tinyurl.com/yc79mw94

PART 11 - http://tinyurl.com/yc9qhj84

PART 10 - http://tinyurl.com/yb734w24

PART 9 - http://tinyurl.com/yc2t6vfw  

PART 8 - http://tinyurl.com/ybl37utq

PART 7 - http://tinyurl.com/ybvo283g

PART 6 - http://tinyurl.com/kbc9dwu

PART 5 - http://tinyurl.com/msnz4am

PART 4 - http://tinyurl.com/k9x8esg

PART 3 - http://tinyurl.com/mwp9atx

PART 2 - http://tinyurl.com/lbt6xq2

PART 1 - http://tinyurl.com/l8xbvg8

[yuniesan]

Girl Meets Season 4 - Episode 24

Girl Meets Season 4 - The Continuing Saga of Riley and her friends as they tackle their Sophomore year in High School. The ups, the downs, and everything in between. What will their sophomore year be like? Read and find out.

Episodes [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23]

A/N #1: This chapter is short... but cute 😉💜

24. Girl Meets The Return of Family Game Night feat. Twister

A/N #2: The title looks like the name of a song

There’s something that has always bothered Riley, something she couldn’t really understand, and that was the fact that her father never let her play twister. She had to look it up after a while and it looked like a fun game but for some reason her father was adamant on her never playing the game.

She was sitting my Maya’s room, while Maya changed because it was family game night, and all of the Hunter family was coming over. But since they didn’t have a game that they could all play Riley suggested that they put different games in each room and people could float around to whichever game they wanted to play. Lucas, Zay, Farkle, Smackle, and Cassie were all coming over along with her uncles, and Rachel. So the house was going to be packed with people.

“Uncle Shawn,” Riley called out when she reached the living room. Deciding to leave Maya up to whatever she was up to.

“Yeah Riley,” Shawn said turning around and looking at her. “What do you need kiddo?”

“Why won’t my dad let me play twister?” she asked him point blank.

“What do you mean?”

“Well one time we were playing the couple’s game,” she started remembering that day. “It was New Years, and my dad said that we weren’t allowed to play Twister and well I wanted to know why.”

“This is something I think you should ask them,” he said.

“I have, and of course they don’t say a word.”

“Well okay, let’s just say that the reason your dad doesn’t want you to play has something to do with him being afraid of the outcome of the game.”

“Fine don’t tell me,” she said dejected at how he was deflecting the question.

“Oh thank god,” he said looking to the sky. “Sorry Riley but I don’t want to answer a question that your parents should have answered a long time ago considering how you’re sixteen.”

“Let’s go,” Maya said walking out wearing ripped jeans and her favorite tank, which Riley knew Josh liked the most out of all of her clothes.

The four of them walked over to Riley’s place, Riley still thinking about the twister dilemma, she still couldn’t figure it out. When they reached her house it was full of people, Ava, Auggie and Doy were running around the living room the adults were all talking to one another, hugging like they hadn’t seen each other in years when they had seen one another two days prior. One game already set up in the living room, another on the dining room table. Riley took one of the games to her room, The Friends Game, which she didn’t really want to play.

Then she saw it, right underneath, Twister looked back at her and she slid it under the game she had originally picked up and walked out of the living room and towards her room. One by one her friends filed into her room all talking to one another.

“What are we going to play?” Zay asked looking over at Cassie.

“I don’t know, I saw the couple’s game outside on the dining room table,” Cassie said looking at him like he was everything she ever wanted. “It might be a good way to see how well we’ve gotten to know each other.”

Riley couldn’t help but think how cute they looked. They still hadn’t made their relationship official but they were happy just going on dates and talking for hours. Zay had told Riley that he wanted to introduce Cassie to his parents, mainly because he couldn’t stop talking about her.

“If it’s alright I would like to go around and study everyone as they play their perspective games before I make a decision,” Smackle said to Farkle.

“That’s alright with me,” Farkle said smiling at her.

Josh hadn’t shown up yet so Riley, Lucas, and Maya were left to set up the game in Riley’s bedroom, but when Maya picked up the game she saw the game underneath and smiled.

“Riley Matthews,” Maya said looking up at her. “Are you defying your father?”

“I just wanted to see what it was about,” Riley said trying not to sound too guilty for taking the game without asking.

“Well I think you and Ranger Rick over here should play,” Maya said as Lucas walked over to see what was happening.

“Play what?” he asked looking between the two girls.

“This,” Maya said holding up the game. “Everyone else is off to play something, the parents are all talking and Josh isn’t here yet… so you two have to play. I’ll spin the board.”

“Um… do you want to?” Riley asked Lucas not knowing what to do.

“I’ll play,” he said smiling at her. “Why not it’s not a long game from the looks of it so while everyone decides and Josh gets here I guess we can play twister to kill some time.”

“Alright,” Maya said pulling off the top of the box and putting it on the bay window. “Here make yourselves useful and lay this out on the floor.”

Lucas took the plastic part of the game and shook it out before laying it on the floor. All Riley saw were the spots wondering what the game was about.

“So how does this go?” Riley said looking to her best friend.

Maya cleared her throat and looked up, “Basically I call out where you have to put your arms and feet, and first one to fall loses.”

“That’s sounds easy,” Riley said wondering why her father was so against the game. “Let’s start.”

“Alrighty,” Maya said spinning the board. “Right foot yellow.”

Riley moved her foot onto the yellow circle, she was facing Lucas who just smiled at her. “You’re going down Friar,” she said to intimidate him.

“Bring it on Matthews,” he said returning her challenge.

Maya spun the board again. “Left hand green.”

Riley bent down and put her hand on the green circle in front of her, as Lucas put his hand on the one next to it.

“Right hand green,” Maya said. “Geez this is stupid.” She mumbled before noticing the couple in front of her as Riley put her hand on the green circle behind her and Lucas his hand in the one behind Riley’s left hand. “Oh this just got interesting,” Maya said as she looked at the two in their compromising position.

Riley could feel her heart trying to jump out of her chest with the closeness of Lucas in front of her, all she could smell was cedar and a light hint of sage.

Maya spun the board and laughed. “Left foot red.”

Riley looked at Maya in distress because that would mean moving around to the point where she would be so close to Lucas, and her heart was already pounding in her chest from the closeness. Lucas easily moved his foot while Riley tried her best not to fall as she touched the red circle just behind Lucas’ foot. He was almost on top of her, and she heard his breath hitch from the closeness. That’s when she realized why her father always said no to play the game when it came to the two of them.

“I feel like I should leave you two like that,” Maya said but in Riley’s head she sounded a million miles away with Lucas so close to her.

Suddenly her door burst open and Lucas fell forward as her father screamed.

“No,” he yelled. “Topanga,” he yelled out.

Lucas was on top of her, both of them not moving as Maya laughed in the background.

“Get off her you heathen,” her father said as Lucas scrambled off of Riley and her father hauled her towards the living room. “Topanga you wouldn’t believe what Riley was doing, she took the twister game and was playing with… with… with HIM.”

Her mother started laughing, “Geez Cory, Twister is not a euphemism for sex,” her mother said making Riley turn bright red. When she looked over she saw Lucas’ ears turning red from embarrassment.

“It’s my fault,” Maya said. “I took the game.”

“Maya don’t lie,” Riley said looking over at her best friend. “I wanted to know why you wouldn’t let us play so I took it.”

“That’s it you’re grounded,” her father said and the room just looked at him stunned.

“Seriously Cory,” Eric said walking over to his brother. “You’re over reacting.”

“Yeah Cory,” Rachel chimed in. “It’s just a game.”

Shawn was doubled over laughing in the corner trying to get a hold of himself, while everyone was trying to not laugh at what was happening, but soon the room was filled with laughter. As much as Riley wanted to laugh her heart was still pounding in her chest, Lucas had fallen on her and he lost but it felt more like Riley won something bigger than a stupid game.

The closeness made her blush and want to cover her face before anyone noticed, the smell of Lucas was now permanently burned into her mind as well as the weight of his body on top of hers. Even though her mother had said it hadn’t involved sex, for some reason it felt intimate enough. Once everyone stopped laughing and they all got back to their games Lucas took Riley’s hand and led her towards the table, they sat there watching everyone as they stole glances at one another. Riley wasn’t ready to move forward with that part of their relationship, she knew that much, but she wouldn’t mind playing twister again if it meant being that close to Lucas again.

[danithebookaholic-blog]

REVIEW! - YOUNG ADULT BOOKS

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

After last week’s Teen Romance Reviews, I kind of got sucked into the Young Adult genre — and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that!

So this week I have some more teen stories, and while not all of them are classified as “romances,” they all do have a little bit of teenage love in the air, on the field, and under the water. 😉

This week’s reviews are of: 📚Gaby Dunn & Allison Raskin’s I Hate Everyone But You (2017 YA LGBT) 📚Vicky Skinner’s How to Breathe Underwater (2018 YA Romance) 📚Alice Kuipers’ Me & Me (2018 YA Contemporary Fiction) 📚Shannon Klare’s Surviving Adam Meade (2018 YA Sports Romance)

From one bookaholic to another, I hope I’ve helped you find your next fix. —Dani

I Hate Everyone But You (I Hate Everyone But You #1) 

By Gaby Dunn & Allison Raskin

Publication Date: September 5, 2017 Genre: Young Adult, Contemporary Fiction, LGBT

Synopsis:

Dear Best Friend, I can already tell that I will hate everyone but you. Sincerely,  Ava Helmer (that brunette who won’t leave you alone)

We're still in the same room, you weirdo. Stop crying. G

So begins a series of texts and emails sent between two best friends, Ava and Gen, as they head off to their first semesters of college on opposite sides of the country. From first loves to weird roommates, heartbreak, self-discovery, coming out and mental health, the two of them document every wild and awkward moment to each other. But as each changes and grows into her new life, will their friendship be able to survive the distance?

Purchase:

Amazon / B&N / Kobo / Google Play / IndieBound

Review:

 I Hate Everyone But You (IHEBY) gave me so many different feels!

I felt incredibly close to Ava. She and I could almost be the same person.

I had a difficult time reading IHEBY though due to being so old - apparently - that I just flat out don’t understand “text speak.” Give me an “LOL” or even a “ROFL” and I gotcha, much more than that and I look like a grandma with grey hair and no teeth. The following is a Tweet I sent within the first 50 pages:

Must be incredibly old because I'm having to look up every other line. Someone please get me an internetslang dictionary, STAT!@JBUshow #itwonthurtmyreview #Promise #ihateeveryonebutyou #notasyoungasilook #butimonly32 #currentlyreading #Old #slangdictionaryneeded pic.twitter.com/WxK8R1eoJH

— Dani Winland 🍷🏋️‍♀️ 📚 (@DaniWinland) February 6, 2019

Usually this style of writing - Texts and emails only - drives me crazy! I have a really difficult time reading this style when it comes to a book (real life, that’s another story!) So when I began this book I thought to myself Oh no! How on earth am I going to read this?! Did I not realize this was how the book was written before I picked it up?! Am I going to be able to get through this, or am I just wasting my time? Well, it turns out that once I got over the initial shock of the style and was 30 pages in, I realized that I didn’t even realize that it was written in this style. So, if you’re like me and this kind of writing style drives you crazy, give it a chance - or at least with this book, because I think you’ll change your mind and end up really enjoying the story!

IHEBY gives the reader a chance to look into the worlds of a girl with OCD and depression as well as a girl who didn’t grow up with the best parents for role models and is now across the country, making life choices (that are now always the best ones) all while realizing that she is gay?... Bisexual?... Queer? Even she doesn’t know, just like most of us oldies out there didn’t know who or what we were at their age. Heck! I’m still trying to figure out who I am! (On a personal level, not sexual. 😳)

I cried at the end. I’ve been through a similar situation with my childhood best friend. Unfortunately for me, my BFF and I did not have an ending like Ava and Gen.

IHEBY is definitely a book that I feel any teenage girl will relate to and completely connect with. If you have a granddaughter with a birthday coming up and you don’t know what to get her, I highly suggest this book. It’s written in a style that they can relate to. It deals with the heartache of leaving home and going off to college, being separated from your BFF, and learning how to begin real life on your own.

 Dani's Score out of 5: 📚📚📚📚🔖

How to Breathe Underwater 

By Vicky Skinner

Publication Date: August 14, 2018 Genre: Young Adult, Contemporary, Romance, Realistic Fiction

Synopsis:

Kate’s father has been pressuring her to be perfect for her whole life, pushing her to be the best swimmer she can be. But when Kate finds her dad cheating on her mom, Kate’s perfect world comes crashing down, and Kate is forced to leave home and the swim team she's been a part of her whole life. Now in a new home, new school, and faced with the prospect of starting over, Kate isn't so sure that swimming is what she wants anymore. But when she decides to quit, her whole world seems to fall apart. But when Kate gets to know Michael, the cute boy that lives across the hall, she starts to think that starting over might not be so bad. There's only one problem: Michael has a girlfriend. As the pressures of love, family, and success press down on her, can Kate keep her head above water?

Purchase:

Amazon / B&N / Kobo / Google Play / IndieBound

Review:

Vicky Skinner’s How to Breathe Underwater is a coming of age story that deals with a little bit of everything, and it has Kate, a super strong 16-year-old girl to walk you through them all.

I really enjoyed this book. It dealt with everyday adult problems from a teenager’s perspective, and what its like for them to go through these issues too. How to Breathe Underwater deals with lies, divorce, anxiety, depression, love, and death on the surface of the story, but it’s what’s below the surface that makes it a great story: growing up, life-changing decisions, and being strong enough to become who you are and want to be.

While this is a young adult romance, there’s more to it than just kisses and angst between a couple of hormonal teenagers. Kate learns to stand up for herself and do what she thinks is right, while Michael deals with growing up way too fast due to an ailing parent.

How to Breathe Underwater has its fun-teen moments, and real-life events that make it a good read for any age group.

 Dani's Score out of 5: 📚📚📚📚

Me & Me 

By Alice Kuipers

Publication Date: October 2, 2018 Genre: Young Adult, Contemporary, Fiction, Magical Realism, Death

Synopsis:

It’s Lark’s seventeenth birthday, and although she’s hated to be reminded of the day ever since her mom’s death three years ago, it’s off to a great start. Lark has written a killer song to perform with her band, the weather is stunning and she’s got a date with gorgeous Alec. The two take a canoe out on the lake, and everything is perfect—until Lark hears the screams. Annabelle, a little girl she used to babysit, is drowning in the nearby reeds while Annabelle’s mom tries desperately to reach her. Lark and Alec are closer, and they both dive in. But Alec hits his head on a rock in the water and begins to flail. Alec and Annabelle are drowning. And Lark can save only one of them. Lark chooses, and in that moment her world splits into two distinct lives. She must live with the consequences of both choices. As Lark finds herself going down more than one path, she has to decide: Which life is the right one?

Purchase:

Amazon / Kobo / IndieBound

Review:

Alice Kuipers’ YA novel, Me & Me, is a story about Lark, a girl who finds herself living parallel lives: in one, she saves her boyfriend, Alec from drowning, leaving the child, Annabelle, to drown and end up in a coma; while in the other she saves Annabelle, leaving Alec to drown and end up in a coma. The question in both lives being: did she make the right choice.

I have to say, if I had been in Lark’s position that warm summer day, I’m not sure which I would have done either. And I find the concept of the story to be very interesting: your choices can have a very powerful impact on the world.

However, this is where my liking of the story ended. Once the sci-fi/supernatural aspect of the parallel lives trying to communicate and connect with one another came into play, I lost all attention for the story. It’s not that I don’t enjoy a good sci-fi novel, because I do, but I felt the sci-fi aspect of the story line actually cheapened the overall story and message.

Kuipers did a good job at tying the two story lines together, but overall the story wasn’t for me. I feel that it could have really been something special had the sci-fi aspect been left out.

 Dani's Score out of 5: 📚📚📚

Surviving Adam Meade (Surviving Adam Meade #1) 

By Shannon Klare

Publication Date: August 14, 2018 Genre: Teen & YA, Sports, Fiction, Romance

Synopsis:

Seventeen-year-old Claire Collins has a plan: get into college and leave North Carolina behind. What she doesn’t have is an idea for how to get rid of the local football star and womanizer extraordinaire—Adam Meade, who she can’t even avoid (despite many efforts), because Claire’s dad is the high school football coach. Seventeen-year-old Adam Meade never fails. He always gets what he wants… until he meets Claire, the new girl who leaves him unnerved, pissed off, and confused. But there’s something about her that he just can’t resist… With the bite of lemon meringue pie and the sugar of sweet tea, Surviving Adam Meade is a sexy and compelling young adult novel about two strong-willed people who think they know what they want but have no idea what they need.

Goodreads

Purchase:

Amazon / B&N / BAM

Review:

Surviving Adam Meade is a cute teen sports romance. It points out all of the hard and heavy questions every teenager in their senior year of high school has to ask themselves: why is so-and-so making life difficult for me; do they like me; do I have feelings for them; will we last if we don’t go to the same college; should I choose them over my dream school… and so on and so forth. I found myself asking these same questions once upon a time, and that’s something that I think most people (young adult or not) will find themselves connecting to with this story.

With that being said, I did find the characters to be a bit much: Claire is a bit of a b#*$%, while Adam is supposed to be this arrogant high school football player, but is really just a sappy love struck puppy. And while it was kind of nice to see these gender roles reversed, they were just too over the top for me.

One thing that I found to be interesting is that this is the first in the Surviving Adam Meade series. I thought this first installment ended quite well and cleanly, so I’d be a little curious to see what happens in the next one.

I don’t have a lot to say on this book. It’s not one that really stands out in my mind when I think about something to recommend. If you like cheesy-yet-swoony high school romances, then yes, I would say give this one a shot. If not, then I would move on. There isn’t a lot of depth to this story other than what you would get with a week long high school fling.

 Dani's Score out of 5: 📚📚📚🔖

Pair Them All With: Martin Códax Albariño 

A refreshing food friendly white wine, Albariño is crisp, elegant and dry. On the palate, flavors of pear, passion fruit, ripe apple, peach and lemon zest are framed by bright minerality and hints of spice. Attractive floral aromatics and brisk acidity make this a versatile, food-friendly wine. Pair with seafood, white meats, rice and fresh cheeses.

Website / Facebook / Instagram

Have a book you’d like to suggest or one you’d like me to review? Please feel free to leave your comments down below.