#i was also just. rly rly miserable then. still kind of am but its ok :3 but i genuinely just think its fun to on a whim read a nonfic book

[volfoss]

genuinely think its really beautiful how much nonfiction ive read since dropping out of college like it rly kind of freed me up to not be as miserable about it and actually read cool books

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

hey ari!!! hope ur doing super well <33 i dropped by to ask u a few things…….

let me know whenever u find the time to read my gojo fic… i made a few revisions over time and i’d rlly love to hear ur thoughts o valued gojo lover ;; its become very important to me , but no pressure :33

AND. need ur most brainrotting thoughts about sashishu por favor. for. research. yeah… research 🙇‍♂️

riko !!!! i hope ur doing super super well urself, im doing just fine <33 trying to finish this fic im writing so i can (hopefully) post it today pshjdh BUT its going good so far !!

i know i alr said it but !! i am so so excited to read ur gojo fic !! if i dont have time today then i will tmrw 🙏🙏 cant wait to rb it w a huge rant i took a lil peek at it n i can already tell its gonna be so good….

AND RIKO. tysm i appreciate u like no other, ive been waiting for a chance to rant abt my Absolute Beloveds……… this might get long im sorry but sashisu make me. genuinely insane

OK SO. just generally speaking…… to me, the biggest sashisu appeal is just. how grounded they are. to me. i feel like both jjk trios are very realistic but in different ways!!

like. the 2018 trio are just !! good friends and they care for each other and they have fun together. AND most importantly; they can be open w each other !! like all three of them are a lillll closed off and obviously traumatized but they can still be sincere with one another. yuji talks openly w both megumi and nobara, megumi’s whole arc revolves around him getting comfortable with the idea of leaning on others and being saved by others, and nobara’s whole character hinges on her just being unabashedly herself.

AND I LOVE THEM i really do but sashisu r just so….. different and also similar and they feel so real to me even though theyre all insane in the head.

because contrary to the 2018 trio, theyre all sort of. Cunts pshjdhd. LIKE. high school satoru is a brat and he thinks he can make friends by being a bully and hes kind despite that but hes also sooo infuriating, and suguru acts like hes better but hes rly not. theyre both assholes. same w shoko!! shes literally out here casually underage smoking and all three of them get in trouble n then blame it on each other n its just…. theyre just so fun. they bully each other but u can TELL theres love there.

and the greatest difference between the 2018 and 2006trio is that the former can be open with each other, but the latter cant. sashisu are doomed as a trio because theyre all so closed off and traumatized and repressed and they will never be as sincere with each other as yuji/megumi/nobara are.

and to me, thats the main reason why suguru defects !! not that its their fault, but the fact that they didnt notice — or maybe the fact that they DID notice but didnt know how to broach the subject — is the one factor that makes his defection almost unavoidable to me. because his best friends, his most loved people, were never the type to be vulnerable like that. and neither was he !!

theyre just so DOOMED riko….. suguru couldnt open his heart to satoru or shoko, satoru didnt notice suguru’s silence bc he was too busy making himself strong enough to protect them, and we dont know how shoko felt but she obviously didnt do anything even if she did notice smth was off. neither of them saw how much suguru was suffering, and suguru was extremely depressed and isolated and never once gave them the chance to help him.

the three of them just werent the type to have heartfelt conversations in the same way the other trio does, and i think sashisu just… figured they didnt need to. that they had that bond together and that it would always be enough. bc all three of them have these incredible powers that make them isolated and kind of miserable, but they were able to be kids only when they were together. during that one year, they got to feel that slice of normalcy and genuine friendship.

and then they lost it !! and shoko and satoru both regret it !!! and they were never able to hate suguru, and he was never able to hate them, even at the very end !!! and the thing that always breaks me is that its just so, so evident that they all loved each other. but it wasnt enough !! and i think thats such a …. grounded and real depiction of how it can be to love someone who’s ill, or traumatized, while you yourself are ill or traumatized. and you might love each other, and it might still not be enough. but the fact that the love was there still matters.

they were three child soldiers who only found comfort in each other, and they all crumbled under the weight of the world but even at the very end they still loved each other.

and for sashisu, that love never disappeared — both shoko and satoru became more responsible after suguru left, and together theyre able to protect so many of the students and their coworkers. and theyre still traumatized and arguably even MORE repressed but the two of them still stick together, and theres a comfort in knowing theyll always have that. (im ignoring the current manga arc its not canon to me idc)

THIS IS ALREADY SO LOONNGG i just. i ADORE them. theyre so good. but !! if we’re moving past just general analysis of them then !! i love to think abt…. sashisu x reader……. maybe one day ill finish my sss x reader series psjdjdj but !!!

i just think itd be such a fun n comfortable dynamic ?? bc they all complete each other in a way…. satoru is just kinda hyper n cuddly n sweet, n suguru is calm and teasing n warm…. and shoko is so chill but also so caring and . i Need them. all of them r so gorgeous i would fall to my knees and cry if i just saw them relaxing by the couch.

i feel like a reader dynamic w them would just be the four of u living together and spending the rest of ur lives doing the same things u did in high school….. going to karaoke n getting in trouble and eating food . etc etc. maybe getting a couple cats…. and a bunch of plants that would all die if it werent for suguru pshjdjs.

in conclusion they make me feel ill <3

(also riko…. pls read the pink lighter by nosferatui, its a sashisu fix-it time travel fic and its one of my favorites ever !! i still havent finished it but its complete and it genuinely changed my life the writing is so good it hurts)

[flovverworks]

disjointed (akira) pt2 ch1-8 thoughts. srry ch9&10 but....i cant stay away from alchstar main story update any longer....

the fact akira tears up like 3 times in 8 chs vs djgr who tears up like once (in the manga!!!!!! not even ingame!!!!!) after leaving zinkenstill cuz the sky is pretty makes me. explode. in my head akira cried that first night too cuz lord thats a lot happening for one tiny heart. anyway the fact most? of the main story times akira cries are because of the relief once somethings stressfuls over & the like makes me....@_@ akira........

akira is SO normal.....SO SO normal..........i love that about them.....struggling to find the words to respond to vincent......their feelings towards living in society.....this lonely room.......(but also the concept of akira only finding the room lonely After theyve gotten sacri because they will now always know what its like to have a companion in there at all times......pet owners do u get me). anyway ive called akira normal plenty of times (and its important to me<3 the more normie i can make akira the happier i am) but everytime they add to it i get sooOOoOOoOoo i rly do love it. akiras just a little dude. who doesnt always know what to say. who wishes they knew what to say. who likes people. who doesnt like people. who wants to be together. who wants to be alone. (billionth speech about akira and the feeling of belonging & being depended on). akira whos just an average person who suddenly got pushed into a leader role, ‘my wizards’ 1.5 my beloved, and working more and more on becoming more leaderlike i................

im so sad they dont draw official art of the akiras like All The Time cuz akira is SO much of a character (which makes it hellish for me cuz the more a character speaks the more i struggle with writing them), but akira is everything and STILL. WHERES MY OFFICIAL ART. I AM ON MY KNEES. MY AKIRAS....

but really i feel akira learns so much from the wizards. bradleys speech? about leadership? give us worth..... i think that along with the feelings about trust..... i dont know how to put it into words but its an entire feeling of “believe in ur friends”. theres just something with akira growing as a person by meeting the wizards.

child wizards.........please....that entire thing is still so funny to me LOLT_T i wanna write that. figaro realizing akira&co r outside the door. akira being SO proud of the eastern wizards. nero. faust. akira checking the western wizards first before letting vincent in,,,,,,good job akira. akiras feelings on chloe summarizes mine too, thats exactly how i talk about chloe. ‘i like him:]’. akira doing their UTMOST to praise the northern wizards lord, the fact all of them PAUSED before going >:] im...... (bradley always using ppl as arm chairs is so funny too i rly love that). akira trying to avoid power matters n northern wizards just going its ok lets make a ranking and then starting betting..u guys....i def think theres something funny how the top of the rankings didnt even get addressed (snow&white...). but also mithra cheering on lennox so much vs ‘yeah figaros losing power:/’ instead of trying to hype up figaro regardless cuz he also is with rutile&mitile a lot means so much to me. theres something about it. but also mithras whole ‘rutile n mitile should be right below me in the rankings’ u r SO much. mitiles prophecy in relation to mithras promise makes me dizzy still.

thinking about the end of that night like. arthur going to the castle like ‘:] today went well:] oz even scolded me:]’ while chloe & oz are both miserable is funny (coping). but honestly i love oz so much.............hes so cool..........central wizard oz...........waiting for arthur to return to the castle first...T_T guhhhh

but also thats why in the scenarios in my head akira cries cuz that entire vincent exchange. along w everything during the rankings (owens talk about arthur....mithras wording about figaro.......), getting to know about arthur........its ssooooooooooooo much

the amount of times the wizards called akira by name alrdy made me dizzy by this part (seeing akira as a friend..........ppl using names instead of titles alrdy Gets Me in fancontent with things like this, so it being used INGAME.....IN THIS KIND OF WAY......), and then tying it into akira not wanting to name the sacri cuz ‘its a substitute for me. i dont want to get attached to something thatll disappear’ into murr @_@............................... the mithra the part after is so unreal theyre so funny. anyway are ALL of them gonna call akira by name before pt2 is over........i kinda wanna take notes at what part which ppl uses it but......thats energy. (thinks about bradleys speech again). haugh. (BUT ALSO with vincent? ‘if we become friends, let me call u by name’. lays on the floor

both shylock & murr having provoked oz is SO funny tho. especially considering how shylock acts when murr does it. i lov shylock. u go shylock. im on ur side

all of them being so ‘yes lets do this’ about protecting arthur...T_T (especially figaro since..MITILE.) oz is so cool (pt2)

sakunantokachan,,,,,,,i didnt think it was gonna have more than 1 pose LOOLT_T my surprise when i went to check what akira calls it in jp. its so cute. so funny. i want the entire ‘protect akira’ plan to backfire and turn into ‘akira protects sacrichan’ and then has to be scolded. thats all i want. i am begging

akiras kawawawa............URE the cute one...

[rosebramblewolf]

i cant deal with your post breakup pre reconciliation angst fic and/or art right now ok

damn i havent been this upset about a pairing in a minute, and its interesting to me to know that like, in canon they are definitely going to get back together because of how stories work, and yet i am still this upset about it right now even knowing it wont last forever

like. what this is connecting to in my mind is the clex rift on smallville back in the day? and we had known that was coming and we knew reconciliation wasnt in the cards, and i personally coped by a) stopping watching the show and b) simply diving headfirst into canon-divergence au fanfic

but in this case like. come on guys, we know blackbonnet is endgame. theyre so good and right for each other. look at the kind of story this is, this is whats happening. and yet here i am, getting all sad about it because uh theyre not together right now and my fragile little feels dont like it

i mean it is also knowing that we are going to be put through more pain before they get back together. theres also that.

i rly hope im right about this i rly hope i can trust this story with my heart

like honestly if they dont get back together? if im reading this all wrong and its just more and more pain but with jokes in? im going to be so mad. i am so tired of the trend in television of like, everything keeps getting worse and everyone gets more and more miserable, hope is a lie, the end. whoever decided perpetually escalating angst was the only way to keep an audience engaged with the material needs to fuck off and die

[pjinthestreets]

i am saying this to myself no one read my cringe bleach postcanon

ok but this is what goes down though: renji+rukia marriage. im just saying it happens. im just saying ichigo and orihime would come? come on they saved Da Soul Socielty like seven times they can RSVP. fuckin

momo comes too obviously.. obviously kira is invited and stuff but hes zombifried and not exactly the life of the party no one rly wants him there and he does not want to go. not actly important if he shows up but i Do think the angst factor would be tastey like if hes on the side like conspicuously Just Standing There. alright ive Shown My Face gotta go :|

momo also on da side like hm yep lovely shindig let me just :) have one more drink :) tee hee lovely party guys! im crying because im just very happy for the happy couple GOTTA LOVE IT OK ILL BE OUTSIDE GETTING SOME AIR

orihime outside Actually getting air (lotta people she barely knows carousing and being. You Know.) like o hi uhh Miss. (FUCK I KNOW IVE SEEN HER BEFORE WHAT WAS HER NAME UHHH) Hows it going? Oh my god shes crying GIRL CRYING ALERT SUPPORTIVE MODE ACTIVATED

momo, kinda tipsy and a little bit totally miserable: no its fine its nice! i just kind of pictured things differently you know! i should be happy for them! but i keep thinking about how i was gonna get married someday. selfish right

orihime: :( babe no. come here. sweetheart. youre beautiful theres lots of time to find love! besides arent shinigami like immortal? :)? the right person is out there for you i promise!

momo, definitely tearing up now: no its not that i actually had someone. but like. thats the problem lol

orihime: ???

orihime: oh god. :( thats so sad i

hang on

like still alive type corpse? like has part of his own reiatsu still intact type walking around making everyone uncomfortable type ohhhh yeah actually that sounds like. a solveable problem to me

momo: ?!?!?!!!?!?!?!?!?!

orihime: yeah man if you can get him to consent i can almost definitely revive him with my godlike powers. nobody seems to remember this but i am almost the most powerful guy in this narrative

kira an indeterminate amount of time later: i dont rly see how this is going to improve things for my actual. utility as a killing machine. which is all i am good for etc etc sad boy noises

momo, clinging to sanity by a fucking shred at this point: shut the fuck up and get good dude you cannot imagine the stress this situation has put me under

orihime: cool alright let me juuuuust

kira: OH GOD IM ALIVE JESUS CHRIST I CAN FEEL EVERYTHING

momo: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

rose, like 25 miles away: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mayuri, who definitely just lost a pet project and is prepared to argue intellectual property rights AFTER taking it out in Blood: what are u doing with my personal property i fuckin made that thing >:(

rose, finally getting a chance to use that sweet sweet bankai that got like 2 panels of airtime: you know for some reason it didnt occur to me until just now that someone else could do your job :) die :)

* le epic battle* [30+ episodes (colloquially known as the ‘mayuri eats shit forever’ arc)]*

downside to this is we may never get that sweet hoodie look on izuru. im gonna hazard that a guy who kinda gets his power and entire like character scheme from themes of despair, pain, and disempowerment mayyyy be cheated out of a bankai by this move. but it is simply the sacrifice we will have to make for the constantly-shafted-side-characters-get-their-happy-ending (and, can’t emphasize this enough, mayuri eats shit and dies forever) arc

[jackieandwilsonbyhozier]

im going to talk abt my life and like feelings (embarrassing) for a second bc new years makes me emotional also i hope readmores still work on mobile

i keep trying to make this post but cant figure out how to get all my thoughts together or how to word it . a lot happened this year i guess like my cat got hospitalized which left me with a bill ive spent the entire year paying off. i finally got a job. i got hit by. a fucking car. plus like interpersonal things. it kind of feels like 2018 was slow slow slow and then lots of stuff happened in the last couple months. the fact that i didnt have a job until like the second half of 2018 didnt help

2018 was hard obviously bc every year is hard and horrible but i do think it was different and better than previous years. ive been super depressed for a long time and since graduating high school especially every year just seems to get worse. 2017 was hard as hell bc i spent .. literally the whole year out of school unemployed just laying in bed depressed out of my mind like. super suicidal just completely hopeless and not having the will to do literally anything. for a long long time ive like held on very tight to my misery bc i was afraid to change bc like. its all that i know its who i am i dont know how to not be miserable im afraid to change any aspect of myself or my life even if theyre negative bc im afraid of the unknown. especially in regards to like adulthood like its scary its rly scary having to get a job and try to be an adult and do all these new things i just couldnt do any of it i couldnt even attempt any of it and i was stuck for a long long time bc of it. and the thing is i didnt even want to get unstuck or change or stop being miserable it was a comfortable misery i had no desire to get out of it

however ... i finally got a job this year which rly. set me up to start like functioning and everything i guess. it was so so hard in the beginning like adjusting to. doing something with my life after having spent the past two !!years literally just laying in bed being depressed. and like its still hard but its like. i can do it now. and i feel like i can do more now. like its made me feel more confident with just like. adulthood in general bc its kind of made me realize like i actually can do these things theyre not unattainable. and that its ok for me to want to start to change and like actually imagine a future for myself

like. i still have my moments obviously my depression and everything did not just disappear by any means but like. for the first time i feel like i dont have to be like that like i can actually take the steps to like being ok. like im working hard and learning to do new things and its difficult and its scary but its giving me the means to like move forward and help myself and everything which is something i never even wanted to imagine

i think my like main goal i made last year for 2018 was to get another job with like more consistent hours so i could actually start saving money and stuff and i. did do that. which is great and not something i thought id be able to do. im still only working part time but its definitely a step forward and its going well. i have the last of my cats vet bill to pay off next month and after that im no longer in debt and i can just start saving money. i rly want to be able to move out this year and again idk if ill be able to but it would be rly great to at least be in a place where its something i can seriously consider

also another thing is therapy/medication lol ill have to figure that out but. idk how to explain this but its something ive also been avoiding for a long long time my mindset towards it has pretty much been like. i didnt want it. but i wanted to want it. i didnt want to have to deal with the process of getting diagnosed/having to open up about things/just deal with all that i didnt want to do that at all it just seems so overwhelming and like so much and like. it still does but i kind of feel like its something i can also start seriously considering and kind of like im ready to like make it happen. again ill still have to like figure it out but it is something i actually do want now. which in itself is another rly big step for me lmfao

idk none of this is to say im like Better or anything bc im not by a long shot but its like. i can be. like im taking the steps to get better. and i actually want to get better which is the most significant difference between me now and me the past however many years. just the fact that i actually want to do something abt this like mess makes all the difference so. idk. idk what im actually going to accomplish this year if anything but the fact that im like doing something with myself every day and having goals im working towards and everything i think is more than enough like. im not gonna be down on myself for not accomplishing enough or anything bc ive done a lot and im doing my best finally so .

[voidimparchive]

heres a list of like... cashier pet peeves & things to do to Not make ur cashier Fucking Miserable

bag ur fucking raw meat. listen u might think it looks clean but a lot of times its NOT. & not only is it like... nasty to touch but we also gotta touch other ppls food!! dont do that!!! ppl dont want fuckin cow blood on their apples ok

but also like?? dont put more than one per bag?? otherwise the cashier has to like dig through it to scan each one & it kinda defeats the purpose & also takes forever

if u have multiple of one fruit/vegetable/etc put them in a bag bc half that shit goes by weight anyway & its REALLY hard to weigh it when ur trying to put everything on the scale & it keeps catching the barcode & ringing it up before ur done. & then u like.. still have some left & also ur like wait did that last one get weighed w that or not? did it register weight from my hand when i was putting it down??

also like. even if it doesnt go by weight. put it in a bag. no one wants to pick up 20 individual oranges that keep rolling around on the damn belt

PLEASE when u do bag things keep different items separate even if theyre the same price bc it fucks up the inventory

i know the peppers are all a dollar but yellow peppers have a different plu than red peppers okay!!

also dont bag like... regular items??? we have a lady who always puts her yogurt in the produce bags like do u realize how hard that makes it to scan them?? esp bc theyre all different flavors so again we cant just scan one and do a quantity bc it fucks up the inventory

& my god if ur gonna buy fuckin. 30 bottles of pop & keep them in the cart MAKE SURE THEYRE NEAT!! we have to be able to count them!! i dont want to scan 30 individual bottles just like you dont want to put them all on the belt but we gotta be able to Actually See how many u have & im not risking my job over u stealing a bottle of pop accidentally or otherwise!! corporate doesnt give a shit if its an accident

also like... if ur gonna put one on the belt & say “oh i have this many” but u have like. different kinds please put up one of each bc again. inventory

also KEEP THINGS GROUPED TOGETHER it makes it a lot easier to bag shit. u dont like everything all thrown in bags randomly?? dont put it on the belt randomly!! group like ur cans ur cold shit ur produce etc etc please

but dont fuckin.. stack shit?? even if its not very high the belt Loves to push things around & knock shit over dont do it

also idk if other stores do this but where i work theres a part of the belt thats like narrower than the rest & it kinda slants toward the cashier & its supposed to like... guide the items along but its fucking GARBAGE & instead it just smashes shit. so PLEASE try not to put ur items wider than that narrowest part. its ok if like some things are a little bit over but like dont put it all the way to both edges of the belt!! things will get stuck or smashed. do not trust that thing it does not do its job

also!! dividers exist for a reason!! even if u think ur order is far enough away from the persons in front of u its hard to tell sometimes bc again, shit gets backed up & the belt pushes it all together

also if ur gonna leave things in ur cart try to make sure the barcodes are visible?? please dont make me flip over all of your six cases of pop bc the barcodes are on the bottom (which like, they should absolutely put it in more than one place but... they dont). just put it so the barcode is up or out or otherwise in a position that is easily accessible

dont put money/ coupons directly on the belt. it will eat them

try to have ur money ready?? i know sometimes u kinda. forget. but please try. cashiers are usually timed & when u take forever to pay it kinda... counts against us

also re: being timed please try to know what ur actually getting like...before?? u start to check out??? i know sometimes things add up to more than u initially expected but like. dont take five minutes to decide on each and every item u have. we do have price checks. please use them

god please put the fucking bags in ur cart as they fill up (also this doesnt rly... apply everywhere, but we have our bags on like a carousel where i work so if the store u go to has that dont reach over to a bag the cashier is still working on theres a reason they havent turned it towards u yet)

please if ur using reusable bags (which by the way we all fucking hate. just use the regular ones & recycle them. the reusable ones are a pain to pack) PLEASE PLEASE P L E A S E MAKE SURE THEYRE CLEAN god ppl come in w em & theyve got like... food spilled on em, theyre sticky, a lot of them have pet hair all over them like.... dont be that person okay

re: grouping things together, & this is kinda more directed at other cashiers but maybe dont... put like pet food w chemicals. i know a lot of ppl just group all the non food stuff together but like. it is still technically food. its not food for you, but another living thing is still going to consume that. if u wouldnt put it with YOUR food dont put it w ur pets food

dont complain that there are no registers open or the lines are long or theres no carts or a bunch of things were out of stock please we already know i promise u a thousand ppl before u have already complained abt it & weve already called the appropriate manager or department but there is nothing we as cashiers can personally do about it

if u ask to talk to a manager!! please say why!! esp if the cashier asks. dont just say “i want to talk to a manager” over & over bc the manager is probably Fucking Busy & usually its something that can be solved another way!! 99% of the time theres no need for them to get involved & it would be faster to get it taken care of if we DONT have to call them & have them drop what theyre doing to come & talk to you personally

dont try to sneak into a closed lane w a long line. we see you. & when we say “this line is closed” dont say “i was already here” bc no u fucking werent. if our lane is closed u better believe we are watching the end of that line like a fucking HAWK to make sure we get outta there as soon as fucking possible.

also please dont pull the “but i only have a few things!!” act bc i swear half the ppl who do that can never make up their mind on what they actually want. & also now i either gotta stay even LONGER letting ten other ppl w three things each into my line or look like an asshole for saying no to everyone else that just has a few items. i know ur trying to get out of here. so am i.

my god please if ur going to like the twelve items or fewer lane. 20 of the same thing doesnt count as one item. we cant do quantities on those lanes BECAUSE they are supposed to be a limited amount of items anyway so we shouldnt NEED a quantity option. just go to a regular lane

also dont try to go into one of those lanes w a bunch of shit?? if ur a couple items over its fine but like... dont be an asshole. “but all the other lines are long” isnt an excuse. u know WHY this line is short? bc the ppl in it only have a couple items & we can get them through faster. if u try to go through those lanes w a bunch of items ur backing up the line & deafeating the whole purpose. dont be an asshole!!!

god theres. so much more. but this is already So Long and i am So Tired. im gonna take a nap

[batsysims]

100 QUESTIONS NO ONE ASKS

I was tagged by @tickledsims ty ily!!

1. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR CLOSET DOORS OPEN OR CLOSED? CLOSED when i was younger my little sister had a baby doll that would talk on its own at night and we called it the demon baby and hooooly shit

2. DO YOU TAKE THE SHAMPOOS AND CONDITIONER BOTTLES FROM HOTELS? i dont take those bc my hair cant take cheap hair products but i do take the soaps!!

3. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR SHEETS TUCKED IN OR OUT? i put the mattress cover sheet thingy on my bed but i dont use an actual sheet :/

4. HAVE YOU STOLEN A STREET SIGN BEFORE? nah lol

5. DO YOU LIKE TO USE POST-IT NOTES? YES i love using office supplies i could spend all day at staples omg

6. DO YOU CUT OUT COUPONS BUT THEN NEVER USE THEM? no lol but il save the lil receipt coupons and find them in my wallet months after they expire

7. WOULD YOU RATHER BE ATTACKED BY A BIG BEAR OR A SWARM OF BEES? hhhhh bees

8. DO YOU HAVE FRECKLES? yep!! i love them its why im scared to use foundation i dont wanna lose em

9. DO YOU ALWAYS SMILE FOR PICTURES? i either smile or if my moms takin the pic il make a stupid face 

10. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? i have terrible road rage...... um........... i also hate it when men interrupt me i just walk away at that point 

11. DO YOU EVER COUNT YOUR STEPS WHEN YOU WALK? yeah i pretty much count everything

12. HAVE YOU PEED IN THE WOODS? i dont think so??

13. HAVE YOU EVER POOPED IN THE WOODS? def not lmao

14. DO YOU EVER DANCE EVEN IF THERES NO MUSIC PLAYING? i have an eating dance, a drinking dance, and a video game playing dance hahaa

15. DO YOU CHEW YOUR PENS AND PENCILS? yes ugh it annoys me but i cant stop

16. HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH THIS WEEK? at LEAST 0

17. WHAT SIZE IS YOUR BED? i think its a single? a single or a twin either way im miserable send help

18. WHAT IS YOUR SONG OF THE WEEK? ummm probably You by Weird Milk?? its the most recent song i added on spotify so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

19. IS IT OK FOR GUYS TO WEAR PINK? yeah def unless its one of those “real men wear pink shirts” like just.... stop

20. DO YOU STILL WATCH CARTOONS? sometimes my sister makes me watch stevens universe?? il watch phineas and ferb too bc honestly who doesnt anime too but not always cartoon ones or w/e

21. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE MOVIE? 2001: A Space Odyssey and Daughters of the Dust come to mind

22. WHERE WOULD YOU BURY HIDDEN TREASURE IF YOU HAD SOME? u kno where ;) no how big is the treasure?? if its a lil bit id put it in that drawer under the oven bc my family never uses that but if its BIG TREASURE id hide it in the backyard of the last house i lived in bc a. nobody lives there now and 2. its totally overrun with green bc of like two floods

23. WHAT DO YOU DRINK WITH DINNER? water! only water ever

24. WHAT DO YOU DIP A CHICKEN NUGGET IN? honey if theyre mcnuggets but other than that i use honey mustard!

25. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOOD? chicky parm

26. WHAT MOVIES COULD YOU WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND STILL LOVE? honestly Inception is my feel-good movie

27. LAST PERSON, YOU KISSED/KISSED YOU? a lil babu

28. WERE YOU EVER A BOY/GIRL SCOUT? i was in girl scouts much longer than i ever wanted to be lmao WISH i coulda done BOY SCOUTS

29. WOULD YOU EVER STRIP OR POSE NUDE IN A MAGAZINE? if cash is involved absolutely

30. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A LETTER TO SOMEONE ON PAPER? aboutttt three months ago!

31. CAN YOU CHANGE THE OIL ON A CAR? no but i can watch

32. EVER GOTTEN A SPEEDING TICKET? when i first got my license yea :( 15 yr olds are dum

33. EVER RAN OUT OF GAS? twice! very good memories

34. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF SANDWICH? egg salad gud

35. BEST THING TO EAT FOR BREAKFAST? the all star breakfast at waffle house yasssss

36. WHAT IS YOUR USUAL BEDTIME? honestly like 9 since i always have to wake up at 7 in the am but il stay up til 11 if i can

37. ARE YOU LAZY? absolutely when have ACTIVE ppl done ANYTHING

38. WHEN YOU WERE A KID, WHAT DID YOU DRESS UP AS FOR HALLOWEEN? i was usually a cat bc i never could find a costume i liked smh but when i was 2 i went as winnie the pooh lmao

39. WHAT IS YOUR CHINESE ASTROLOGICAL SIGN? ox!

40. HOW MANY LANGUAGES CAN YOU SPEAK? just english but im tryna learn spanish and japanese and im fluent in french if a two year olds speech patterns can be considered as such

41. DO YOU HAVE ANY MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTIONS? nah

42. WHICH ARE BETTER: LEGOS OR LINCOLN LOGS? LEGOS lincoln logs are big with nostalgia thoooo

43. ARE YOU STUBBORN? with dumb shit yeah but i usually just dont care enough abt stuff to deal

44. WHO IS BETTER: LENO OR LETTERMAN? theyre both old idc

45. EVER WATCH SOAP OPERAS? no lol

46. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? not really tbh i like the adrenaline

47. DO YOU SING IN THE CAR? if im alone!! nobody deserves to hear that

48. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER? nahhh

49. DO YOU DANCE IN THE CAR? when im in the drive thru haaaa

50. EVER USED A GUN? id like to go to a shooting range some time but ive never used one im also very anti gun so i probs would never buy one unless it was a cute lil glock i can handle well

51. LAST TIME YOU GOT A PORTRAIT TAKEN BY A PHOTOGRAPHER? st patricks day it wasnt technically for me tho

52. DO YOU THINK MUSICALS ARE CHEESY? not in general but when ppl start obsessing over a certain one for months on end abt a certain time period and certain performers and certain songs and certain people of history i start wanting ppl to die

53. IS CHRISTMAS STRESSFUL? YEAH I NEVER HAVE MONEY WTF

54. EVER EAT A PIEROGI? my sisters obsessed with them so yea but never like. authentic polish potato pockets or anything just a frozen box of em

55. FAVORITE TYPE OF FRUIT PIE? apple?? im not rly into pie tbh

56. OCCUPATIONS YOU WANTED TO BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID? ive wanted to go into law enforcement/criminology my whole life!! for a sec i wanted to be a firefighter, a journalist/writer/poet, and some sort of artist but u know how kids are

57. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS? i tried to find that clip from malcolm in the middle for like ten mins but i couldnt yea

58. EVER HAVE A DEJA-VU FEELING? doesnt everyone tho?

59. DO YOU TAKE A VITAMIN DAILY? no im a bad adult

60. DO YOU WEAR SLIPPERS? nah

61. DO YOU WEAR A BATH ROBE? im not rich!!

62. WHAT DO YOU WEAR TO BED? usually just my undies but when im living with other people il wear a soft shirt and my dc heroes pajama bottoms ayyy

63. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CONCERT? ive never been to one! i was gonna go see metallica in baltimore but i moved before i could smh

64. WALMART, TARGET, OR KMART? walmart sry targets cool but too much money!!! i go there for home things tho does kmart still exist

65. NIKE OR ADIDAS? ADIDAS ive been trying to get a full adidas tracksuit for YEARS

66. CHEETOS OR FRITOS? fritos! i like the super hot cheetos tho

67. PEANUTS OR SUNFLOWER SEEDS? peanutsssss

68. EVER HEAR OF THE GROUP TRES BIEN? Nope but they must be good im keepin @tickledsims response bc it made me laugh

69. EVER TAKE DANCE LESSONS? when i was a lil babu i took ballet and gymnastics a lil later

70. IS THERE A PROFESSION YOU PICTURE YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE DOING? i hope to never have a spouse  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

71. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? yep

72. EVER WON A SPELLING BEE? ive actually never even had a spelling bee im sure theyre a myth

73. HAVE YOU EVER CRIED BECAUSE YOU WERE SO HAPPY? i think so??

74. OWN ANY RECORD ALBUMS? nah

75. OWN A RECORD PLAYER? nahhhhh

76. DO YOU REGULARLY BURN INCENSE? no but i had a roommate who did i fell in love

77. EVER BEEN IN LOVE? yeah ok lol so one time when i was a sophomore my french teacher had to use a substitute teacher and hes the reason i believe in love at first sight im STILL in love with him wtf ive also had a bf haha im hilarious

78. WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE IN CONCERT? i dont really do concerts so i couldnt say but i think matd would be fun!!

79. WHAT WAS THE LAST CONCERT YOU SAW? oh my god

80. HOT TEA OR COLD TEA? hot!!!!

81. TEA OR COFFEE? coffee!!!!!!

82. SUGAR COOKIES OR SNICKERDOODLES? i dont rly like either but i prefer snickerdoodles over sugar

83. CAN YOU SWIM WELL? i can only do that weird frog swim i forget what its called so no im shit at it

84. CAN YOU HOLD YOUR BREATH WITHOUT HOLDING YOUR NOSE? ye

85. ARE YOU PATIENT? if im able to distract myself?? it also depends on the severity of what im waiting on i guess

86. DJ OR BAND AT A WEDDING? probs a band i guess i dont rly think abt that kinda stuff sry

87. EVER WON A CONTEST? when i was four i won a coloring contest at the ice cream store

88. HAVE YOU EVER HAD PLASTIC SURGERY? nope im poor 89. WHICH ARE BETTER: BLACK OR GREEN OLIVES? both are good!

90. CAN YOU KNIT OR CROCHET? i can knit but i cant crochet

91. BEST ROOM FOR A FIREPLACE? fckn bathroom

92. DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED? not rly unless its a partnership longlasting romance stresses me out especially with financial responsibility etc

93. IF MARRIED, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN MARRIED? -20 years

94. WHO WAS YOUR HIGH SCHOOL CRUSH? my high school boyfriend hahaaa h,,,,

95. DO YOU CRY AND THROW A FIT UNTIL YOU GET YOUR OWN WAY? im an adult sry

96. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? 1!

97. DO YOU WANT KIDS? nope! lmao i love her tho

98. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR? red but i also like many others??? idk

99. DO YOU MISS ANYONE RIGHT NOW? ummm not rly?? im not close enough to anyone to miss them and those i am close to im able to hang with

100. WHO ARE YOU GOING TO TAG TO DO THIS TAG NEXT? god uhhh if you havent done it already and want to, @dreambot @nebula-simms @ellowynsims and @pixelbloom

[gayminho]

very long and disorganized exordium in newark 170425 fanaccount bich

im mostly doing this so i dont forget anything so its VERY VERY MESSY AND RAMBLING ITS 3:30AM AND I FEEL LIKE DEATH

- we queued starting at 10am and the line was already super long and it started Pouring and then people stampeded to the front for no reason and it was really disorganized and we were delayed for another half hour in the fucking freezing cold rain PLUS wind bc of a Technical Issue so 0/10 for my music taste tbh find a different promoter

- we got right side of the stage extension 

- i IMMEDIATELY cried when we got inside like full on sobbing bc it was a long-ass miserable day literally the worst queueing experience of my life and i was going to see Exo

- EXO?!?????!?!?!?

- ok first during all the vcrs and video things everybody screamed really loudly for yixing whenever he showed up :o) which was really sweet and i miss him

- and exo look like...... exactly how they look in pictures and videos which is SCARY LIKE THEY ARE LITERALLY THAT PERFECT i couldnt believe it for a while

- minseok is................. Very Beautiful like god.... he is my Mother. and super cute and enthusiastic and he was near us for a lot of the time so i went apeshit 10/10

- suho god i rag on him a lot but he really tries his best he tried to do all his ments in english and did a great job and was being an embarrassing dad as always like telling us to be careful (so my sister and i yelled THANKS DAD) and he mentioned birdman being his favorite movie which is just. Dad

- baekhyun i didnt pay attention to very much lol but he was loud and energetic like always AND he tried to do the water bottle flipping thing a couple times and we were yelling BAEKHYUN STOP

- jongdae UMMMMM pictures dont do him justice like he is... rly surprisingly handsome in person lol and he was glowing... and kept yelling obv but yeah wow i love him 

- chanyeol i swear to fucking god WHAT DO I EVEN SAY HE IS A FUCKING DOOFUS AND I LOVE HIM THANKS and i saw way too much of his arm... like pls..... i am a simple man........ and he was being dumb rolling around on the floor and pretending to throw his cap into the audience and playing “bowling” with water bottles but i love him 😖💖😖💖😖💖

- kyungsoo.... is very round and peachy looking in person its kind of startling but hes cute and talked about how he fucking went to moma and saw sleep no more on his day off like what kinda art hoe... and said he hasnt gotten much sleep bc he’s jetlagged but he seemed to be joking around with the other members and did that heart smile a lot which was nice to see 

- as always i worried about jongin he was bent over tired during a ment and talked about getting medicine the previous day but said “american pharmacies are very big. cvs. the pills are big too. hard to swallow” and mentioned getting pizza and shoes also 

- sehun i didnt pay much attention to either but he did pick up 2 vivi plushes towards the end so there was that

- just in general they are all glowing so dont believe the whitewashing fansites 😤

- and suho mentioned they’ve “prepared” a new album and want to come back next time with their new songs so NBSCNND

- the fucking chansoo. ok. kyungsoo forgetting to give his mic to chanyeol during love love love and smiling at him it was so.. tender... and i couldnt see the part where chanyeol gave him a ring but CHANSOO ENGAGED CONFIRMED 

- and then the xiuchen like Um. i knew that party vcr was coming but i still lost my shit when jongdae fed minseok... and they came over to our side during girl x friend and jongdae touched minseoks lower back and i died and went to heaven so... 

- songwise they cut some stuff out though im not sure if it was because of stage or time restrictions... but they hit us with white noise playboy and artificial love all in a row which are some of my all time favorite exo songs so i died again

- even though they seemed tired they are Good live... kings

- idk what else to say im tired i can add to this later probably but wow yeah i cried again right after it ended........ my life peaked tbh

- i love exo what the fuck

- sorry if u were in line and i didnt get to say hi to u god it was crazy i didnt want to leave my spot :(

- ASK ME ANYTHING I GUESS LOL advice or just random stuff idk

[sloblesbian]

so last february when my parents were moving out of their apartment in pawtucket into the house they rent now, i went over to help move some stuff and check out the new house. while we were still in the apartment (which i loved... it was a really beautiful loft), i grabbed a hair elastic from my mom’s room, because my hair was just barely long enough to put up, and i had been using those tiny plastic elastics they sell in a little container of like, 500, + many many bobby pins, and a headband. i didn’t have any hair elastics of my own. anyway it was exciting for it to be finally long enough to put up, i kept the elastic, and every day, except for 2 days in january this year where i couldn’t find it (it was, for some reason, inside of a sock on my floor), i have used it to put my hair up, which is how i mostly wear it, bc i don’t know how to part it in a flattering way, and i don’t like when it touches my face. when i have my hair down, i wear it on my wrist. i have not used another hair elastic since. it’s very stretched out & today i finally bought some of my own. it occurs to me that i could do the same thing, pretty much, and have these elastics last me for the next two decades of my life, probably. 

i’m somewhat aware that i’ve been pretty steadfast in terms of personality, tho i like to believe i’ve mellowed out and just, in general, gotten better at being myself, but i have difficulty remembering who i was in the past. i can remember very specific events but in general it’s fuzzy. i know at one point in high school i had very long hair, until i cut it off- it was blue and i have it in a box somewhere. also when i moved out of state i grew out my hair again, mostly because i was absolutely miserable for many reasons and didn’t do anything but lie in bed. i can’t really remember what my opinion on having long hair was at the time though i can remember that both times i cut it i was relieved to hair short hair again. i liked having short hair, it was always very fun and mostly very easy. but i really like having long hair right now. it feels a lot like something i am doing because i enjoy it rather than like. something i am doing because i like the idea of it. i like how its always kind of sloppy because, well it’s my hair. of course it is. i don’t brush it, except when i comb conditioner thru it in the shower, and i just use my fingers for that. mostly it is easier because i dont have to worry about cutting it. i last got it trimmed in september and i will probably get it trimmed in september again. it’s nice and it fits into the image of me that im enjoying. 

which leads me to my next point, i guess. in august i am going on vacation with my family, my mom & stepdad & all four of my siblings, to florida to go to universal. which im looking forward to cause ive never been and i like doing stuff with my family. however. i have a problem (a gemini problem to say the least) where i present a side of myself that i think someone would most want to see, when im with them. with my family, and my mom especially, this is rly about my body... my mom knows what im like as a person, mostly, so it’s not like i would hide that (tho honestly... i hide all sorts of things from everyone for no reason whatsoever, all the time), but im very careful about what i wear when im around her............ specifically she doesnt know that a) i have my septum pierced (very easy to hide anyway) and b) i have a tattoo on my right arm (kind of difficult to hide but i have done it for 2 years for almost no reason.... whatsoever!). also. also. im very hairy- of course she knows this, but, i don’t shave, my legs, my armpits, anything, except my face (cause thats the only part that bothers me... very correlated to my anxiety tho i always forget that). the legs i know she knows about and it doesnt bother me so much cause i dont think she’ll say anything (cause she saw me in shorts last summer & was like ok w/e - thats right i wore a long sleeved shirt to cover my tattoo & shorts around my mother and she didnt say anything at all). mostly im worried about like, other people staring at me (this is such a huge fear with me now idk why). i might take some clippers to my legs to make them like... stubbly rather than a nice forest or w/e. thats fine. i guess the problem here is that, i need to tell my mom about some of these things before we go on vacation so she doesnt get upset about it, on vacation, or i dont try to wear a long sleeved shirt in florida outside doing things. because i will try. 

there are so many things that i dont care if people dont like about me, but its so hard when it’s your body because, there isn’t much i can do about it, it’s very personal to have someone uncomfortable with like... you but not you. 

like im already gonna be physically uncomfortable cause im fat and im bad at walking and my mom is super athletic & most of my family is very skinny & im very Very bad in the heat. i’d like to not worry about a) ppl looking at me b) my mom being upset about what i look like c) clothes not feeling right!! 

itd be nice to have an easy solution for this that didnt involve weird confrontations with my mom. i came out to her in an email bc i can’t stand to see her do emotions at me. 

[yarrowleef-babbles]

anyway I'm at the end of my impulsive grishaverse binge. The King of Scars duology was fun to read and I enjoyed it.. It was also dumb as hell. But honestly I am here for a good time not a...idk, sensible time. Look I’ve been reading almost nothing but warrior cats for over a decade, clearly my standards are low and I can handle a lot of nonsense and still enjoy the ride

 (but rly I still don’t know why the Darkling returning is a thing at all. He’s just a less intimidating shadow of his former self. He went out in a blaze of glory and however he goes out the second time is going to be underwhelming in comparison. I literally KEPT FORGETTING HE WAS AROUND during Rule of Wolves until his POV chapters came up because everything else felt like a more pressing threat, meanwhile he was just. There. Dicking around. I forgot. the *DARKLING* was around. That’s almost impressive. He just came across as so pathetic compared to the constantly looming threatening force he used to be. There were so many enemies and problems to face with the Fjerdans and everything else, why even add him? I feel like I would have rather the main problem just being fixing the mess he left behind, and have Nikolai figure out some other way to solve the fold and his demon problem, considering Lantsov kings being dumb is part of what enabled the Darkling for so long to begin with. He could fix the remaining scars of their biggest mistake before retiring the Lantsov line. Idk, that would require a rewrite since apparently whatever is happening with the Darkling is going to motivate the next plot, but all that junk about the magic tree just felt. Tacked on rather then woven in? if that makes sense? considering how often I kept forgetting about him I feel like it would have been better to just....Let Nikolai have the focus in fixing this issue, no Darkling meddling needed. Darkling stays dead while we struggle with the ghosts and damage he left behind, and he left A LOT behind, he doesn’t need to literally be here as well. I Do NOT want him to get any sort of redemption arc. he Does Not Need One. Can’t we just let him go I’ve had enough of this dude) 

Next point, I am surprisingly fine with Queen Zoya, I think the duology did a good job setting both of them up for this when I look back on it, although it did catch me by surprise at first. Her turning into a LITERAL DRAGON???

lissen, I Do Not understand the fantasy rules of this world at all sometimes, sometimes it feels like crazy things Just Happen when plot needs it, and its felt that way ever since Shadow and Bone (like last book with the Saint Sand Castle. JESUS CHRIST what was ANY OF THAT I feel like I got transported into a different series I kept putting down the book to whisper-yell ‘what the fuck is happening right now’ to myself, I STILL do not really understand how those people were alive, how their magic worked, or where they were, their explanation didn’t make sense)

 but look. Look, sometimes I also Do Not Care, dragon Zoya was SICK AS HELL. You can be as dumb as you want if you’re also sick and hell while doing it, thems the rules!!!

Neutral on the Nikolai/Zoya relationship. It’s fine, w/e. That’s my stance on most MC romances so shrug.

ANYWAY if I’m honest with myself the Crows are my main true emotional investment in this universe so everything else that happens with other characters is kind of a “yeah ok I guess this is happening now, whatever” one way or another. But my crows. I adore their banter. I loved their appearance, even if it was mostly unnecessary fanservice. I miss them all so much.

I have no interest in investing myself in book fandom culture (it seems like its just...not my scene) I’m vaguely aware that Hanne and Nina’s relationship is controversial. (i’m vaguely aware a lot about this duology is controversial but I don’t know everyone elses reasons as to why, though I have some guesses). And Listen, I can totally 100% sympathize if you are someone who was at all emotionally invested in the helnik ship, even though its been over a year in book time, from the reader perspective Matthias like, just died. And to have Nina immediately thrust into a new meet-cute so quickly while she’s literally standing over his fresh grave?? Yeah I get why that might sting a bit. 

I, however, am not rly a helnik stan, in fact the handling of Matthias and Nina’s relationship was by far my LEAST favorite part of the SoC duology, an awkward frustrating stain on books I otherwise adored so much. Their relationship started off making me wildly uncomfortable (I have a lot of complicated and frustrated feelings about Matthias in general, I think i’ll probably end up making an overly long post complaining about him later on) and though it got a bit better in Crooked Kingdom, it still only reached “I guess I will tolerate this” levels, and then he died before i could finish reconciling with it so. I'm just left frustrated by the whole thing.

For me, her relationship with Hanne felt way more natural and less uncomfortable, yes even if its less ~dramatic~ then almost dying together in the arctic.. (I always felt like she and Matthias were attracted to each other in SPITE of who they are rather then BECAUSE of who they are you know? i just don't love that as a basis for a relationship It’s...ugh look again Matthias is a whole can of worms for me, I can’t get into it right now. It just doesn’t do it for me. I never understood Nina’s attraction to Matthias, so being better then that is a low bar for me. ) I’m not head-over heels with Nina/Hanne or anything, but I like it just fine and I think Hanne is a neat character.

I didn’t think Nina could carry a storyline on her own, but I was surprisingly often more invested in her then Zoya and Nikolai? I was only neutral to her in six of crows, I liked her, but less then the others....... mainly again because she was So Wrapped Up In Matthias Whomst I Do Not Exactly Love that it was hard to appreciate her on her own. I’m glad I got the chance to focus on her and grow to like her as an individual. 

 Maybe her crow status gives her my bias, or honestly maybe I just like high risk spy stuff that felt like it had more immediate danger and stakes every moment to her rather then the more big-but-impersonal concern for a whole country and the exhausting political complications of ruling Ravka, which is what Zoya and Nikolai were often grappling with. I still liked that storyline, but my personal preference is with Nina’s type of stakes (thats probably just another reason why I liked the SoC duology most in the grishaverse)

Which aaaaaaaaaaah, leads me to what is for ME causing the most emotionally charged Issues with the end of this book!!!! It’s probably not the biggest issue objectively, but I am not feeling objective right now, I am feeling emotional! While I think the Darkling returning is dumb, I have less emotional investment in him and the characters surrounding him so that, even though I dont exactly like it, I don’t really mind that much what happens to him, I’m willing to follow the story down whatever nonsensical rabbit hole it wants to go

but WOW I am I NOT a fan of Nina suddenly being the queen of fjerda??????HUGELY MASSIVLEY NOT A FAN OF THAT MY DUDES.  And not just beause it came out of left field (which is most certainly did).

i mean people more articulate then me have already probably talked about why this is a miserable future for her, so. that bites.

idk, no end to this post, just lots of words