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endearng · 14 hours ago

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Out of reach

Pairing: earlyseasons!Spencer Reid x hotchner!fem!reader Summary: You pull away from Spencer because of your jealousy. You go back to him after a few drinks in. WC: 9k A/N: fluff! pining! idiots/friends to lovers! alcohol consumption; spencer is a bit mean; reader doesn't communicate; hotch is a little older to have a daughter around spencer's age (do not come at me this is fiction). If I missed anything, please let me know! I had so much fun writing this one and it's now one of my favorites <3 masterlist

The jet was quiet as you and the BAU team made your way back from Los Angeles after successfully finding Lila Archer's stalker. The case had been a bit draining, after all, you've only been working with the FBI for a couple of months, and seeing dead bodies and all those other displays of violence was something you were still trying to get used to. Despite your sensitive nature, being Aaron Hotchner's daughter meant that you had mastered the art of a poker face through the years, not that it meant that your inner feelings were any less important. This is how you found yourself sitting all alone in a corner of the jet as everyone minded their own business. On any other day, you'd be sitting next to Dr. Spencer Reid, talking about whatever it was that could get your mind off the case you had just wrapped up. Spencer and you were friends, some would even say the best of friends, but you didn't mind about naming things — what mattered the most is that you got to be yourself around him and you didn't bother hiding behind the Hotchner glare, as he once put it.

Despite being unknown territory for you, after all, feelings and all that were protected by a deeply analytic and practical mind, you knew what you were feeling. Well, you were analyzing your reactions to check what had actually happened — and the thing is, you couldn't admit, not even to yourself, what that sinking feeling in your chest when you watched Spencer saying goodbye to Lila was. Amid your analysis, Spencer quietly approached you, silently motioning to the seat next to you. You nodded, shutting every single thought of him. Or at least, trying.

"Hi."

Hotch glare. "Hi, Reid."

Spencer felt nervous. He had never been on the receiving end of your… wrath before, so it was unknown territory and he didn't know how to act. His racing heart and clammy palms weren't helping him, either. Taking a deep breath, he said, "Listen, um, you... can... can we talk?" The stammering. Way to go, Spencer.

Glancing at him, ignoring the skip in your heartbeat, you nodded. "Yeah. Is everything alright?" A firm, secure tone. You mentally patted yourself on the back.

"You're a little distant... and—and I got a bit worried. Did... Did something happen?" He wanted to kick himself. What kind of person can't hold a serious conversation without stuttering like an idiot? Get a grip, Reid.

"No, Reid. Everything is alright. I'm just... thinking." You said.

Bullshit. You both knew that. Spencer, on the other hand, didn't know why it was bullshit. But he knew it was.

"Are you sure?" He asked, leaning towards you, almost invading your personal space and he shut his eyes before delivering the next question, "Is... I haven't done anything to upset you? Right?"

You took a second to answer him, willing your voice to stay still and the knot in your throat to go away. "No. It's nothing you've done. It's just... it's on me." You gave him a small smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes — that's when he knew something was definitely wrong.

He nodded, but he was still worried by your sudden change of behavior, especially towards him. It was like he was anyone else, again. And, God, he didn't want that. "What is it, then? You can talk to me, you know. We're best friends."

Best friends.

The words felt bitter on his tongue. The sound of them broke your heart all over again.

Best friends. "Right. Yeah. I know." You said, quietly, and it felt a little lifeless to him. He clenched his hand, fighting the urge to touch you, to ask you what was truly bothering you. "Thanks for offering."

Spencer felt conflicted. If he didn't say anything and didn't push you to speak, you would probably bury whatever it was that you were feeling and it would lead him into being even more worried about you. If he did, you would probably snap at him because of his undesired, bothersome insistence. "It's nothing." He said, defeatedly. "Can you just... Do you promise it's not me?"

Your heart ached and you smiled at him, a tiny, faint, barely there smile. He was so adorable, sometimes. "I'm just upset over something else. Don’t worry. You didn't do anything wrong." You finished, trying to convince yourself that he had not, indeed, done something wrong.

And he didn't. He didn't. You and Spencer, despite your proximity and sometimes incredibly ambiguous relationship, hadn't said anything about deeper feelings towards one another. You let yourself admire him, lovingly, from afar, and were happy with the snippets of attention you had from him when you two had some free time. You two were regulars in the coffee shop near his apartment and, by now, the local librarian, Mrs. Jones, could probably fake your signature from how often you two went there to borrow books. She would watch you two behind the bookshelves, whispering excitedly and curiously to each other about whatever suggestions you were getting from each other. As you missed Spencer's longing glances to read a summary, Mrs. Jones smiled to herself, both at how adorable you two were and how oblivious you were. In museums, you would sit down after some time walking around to his explanations of art and historical movements that impacted the expression of a certain age — you pretended to not know a few things, just so he could speak his heart away and not be interrupted by your own contributions.

You kept silent to make him happy.

Which was exactly what was happening now.

Spencer knew, for sure, that you were hiding something from him. But he also knew that he had no right to force it out. He fidgeted awkwardly, not knowing what to do with his hands, his heart still clenching. “But, but... you’d come to me if you needed help, right?”

You nodded, unable to speak. You knew you were wrong, omitting things from him. Just as the guilt was starting to weigh in your heart, Derek passed by you two with a magazine in his hands, throwing it at Spencer, exclaiming, "My man!"

You looked down, already knowing what it was. Spencer was a mess beside you: blushing, stuttering, avoiding your and Derek's gaze and throwing the magazine as far as he could, like it had burned him. Your reaction was a subtle twitch of your lips, not in amusement, but in need to disguise the pang in your heart. You both spent the rest of the flight sitting in silence, simply being in each other's orbit. You, guiltily. Spencer, worriedly.

Your reaction — or lack of — was staggering to Spencer. He thought you two were getting somewhere, despite your closed off nature and demeanor, he thought he was finally cracking you up. Everyday was torture, seeing you walk through the bullpen's glass doors with your professional clothes and your composed figure. It was torture to see you walk around so prettily and serious, holding his bare heart in your hands, and not even realizing it. By now, he lived and thrived on those rare opportunities you had to spend time together as he became more and more covered in you.

As the jet landed and Spencer walked out to talk to Derek, you pettily made sure to step on Lila Archer's face when leaving the jet in sheer frustration.

Back to the bullpen, you had gone to the restroom to splash some water on your face in order to calm your nerves and to tell yourself that it was only a matter of time until things got back to normal — until you got back to normal. Glancing at your reflection in the mirror, you wondered if Spencer could tell that there was something wrong with you, if you had let any of your feelings slip during your short conversation. The version of you that stared back was as impassible as you ever were. As you made your way to your desk in the dimly lit sea of desks, you caught Spencer and Derek talking, both having their backs to you.

Sighing, you just left the headquarters, not wanting to know what they were discussing, or rather, knowing what they were discussing, but unwilling to stay, even if it would quench your curiosity as to what Spencer had been thinking.

Maybe you didn't want to know the answer.

—

The days went by, cases coming left and right, flights making you almost dizzy — not that you would admit, but you were terrified of heights. Between those and your training, you barely had time to think about Spencer and the entire Lila occasion. You spent your days busy with work, studies and physical training in order to keep your mind away from that, but as you lay awake at night, the memories would come back to haunt you relentlessly to the point you had recurring dreams of them. Together, as you watched from the sidelines. You kept to yourself, slipping further and further away from Spencer.

Reid, on the other hand, felt your absence more than anyone. You took a rain check on all the invitations he made, even when he invited you to movie night, when he would definitely choose a Russian movie because you mentioned once how you liked how the language sounds. There wasn't any more donuts on his desk as he arrived in the morning (he would always joke that you and your father secretly lived in the headquarters and that someday he would see Haley bringing your groceries to the secret house), and there was no one for him to throw his paper airplanes, small flashcards with the Russian phonological alphabet, at. The change in your behavior was absurdly clear to everyone: you barely called or texted him anymore, you didn't look his way when someone told a joke to check if he thought it was funny... He was sulking, to say the least. Upon questioning you, you blamed your lack of free time and as he was going to question you further, you said in a teasing tone that not everyone was like him and that the FBI was actually making you go through all the training phases.

Finally, during the end of a particularly frustrating workday, he finally snapped, grabbing your arm before you could enter the elevator. It was only you and him in the otherwise empty hallway. "Ok. What's been going on? And don't," he said, closing his eyes, "don't dance around the subject. Don't say it's the Academy. Don't say you have to work. Don't. Please, be honest with me."

The exasperation in his eyes and in his tone almost broke the wall that hid your true feelings, but as you glanced at him, you figured you couldn't do it. Be honest? What for? To hear that you're nothing more than his best friend? Losing said friend was not an option, not to you, at least. But you also knew that you weren't treating him right, that keeping him out was not at all fair to him, that leaving him in the dark was as hurtful as it would be to lose him.

Breathing deeply, you answered with the same stoic expression you wore every single damn day. "I told you, Reid. People go through different, busier times in their lives." The lie tasted like acid.

Spencer clenched his teeth, frustration and confusion beginning to override some of his social anxieties. “That! That!” He asked through clenched teeth, his gaze intense.

"That what?" You asked, puzzled.

"You... you stopped calling me 'Spence'—not that you did it often, you did it more when we were all alone, and it... it sucks! It sucks because I don't know what happened or what I did that was so wrong to make you stop liking me!"

Come on, just say something! Get angry, get sad, get something!, his mind screamed.

"I never stopped liking you," you said, looking away from him. His words hit a particular spot that you were totally willing to discover later, but the mere thought that he knew that you liked him more than as a friend made you shiver.

"That's not the point! Or—or rather, it is! Because if you didn't stop liking me, why would you act like you did?" He asked, his tone rising a bit.

"Calm down."

"Calm down? I will not calm down!" He almost yelled. His eyes widened slightly, disbelief clear in his features and tone, not to mention the frustration. "Just. Please.” He said, closing his eyes, willing himself to tone it down, not that it worked... “Tell me what you're thinking, what happened to you! For once! Any normal person would react and stop acting like an emotionless robot!"

You gaped like a fish out of water, taking a small step back, his words digging a hole in your heart. Upon hearing his own words and noticing you distancing yourself from him, all the anger vanished from his body. The widened eyes were a sign of realization of what he had said to you. During the early months of friendship, you had confided in him that you struggled with portraying emotion like others normally did. Maybe it had something to do with growing up with a father who did it so perfectly when he was out of the house. When he wasn't actively playing the ‘dad’ part, Aaron Hotchner would wear an unreadable mask like it was his armor, his defense from the outer world, but as soon as he got home, he was back to his main role. You would watch him with his coworkers and mimic him perfectly to make him laugh. At some point, making fun of and imitating his demeanor had become some serious form of self-defense for you. Spencer, then, joked that you were making your way to the perfect job, but then he had gotten serious and told you that it wasn't a flaw. That it wasn't a problem that you kept deeply to yourself sometimes — that it was okay to be yourself around him. You had felt safe by his side since then.

But now, what did those words mean? Were they lies?

He breathed out your name, softly, "I... I... I'm sorry."

"Just drop it," you replied, pushing the elevator button. Your dismissive tone and your action of leaving made Spencer feel utterly desolate, like he had done the wrongest thing in the world and perhaps he had, but he just wanted you to let him in. For once, he wanted to have the answers from your lips, not spend any more time analyzing your every single action and words...

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..."

"You know, Spencer…" he looked up at you when he heard his name, as you held out an arm to hold the elevator doors open. As if thinking better than to say anything, you sighed and turned to enter the elevator, shaking your head with the most disappointed look he had ever seen on your face.

Spencer tried looking at you one last time before the elevator doors closed, and despite your face being as unreadable as it often was, he saw a flicker of sadness that stung his heart more than he liked to admit. If he hadn't done anything wrong before, now he had utterly fucked everything up.

—

The drive home, for Spencer, was a torture. He knew that he had to pay attention to the road ahead of him, to the other vehicles and drivers, but his mind kept drifting to the last glimpse of you back in the headquarters. Your empty eyes appeared behind his eyelids every time he pressed his eyes closed. He willed himself not to cry, to not blur his vision, taking his frustration out on the steering wheel, where his grip was so tight that his knuckles turned white. As he parked his car and looked up to one of his windows, he remembered you. Because of course he would remember you.

The sight was almost comical, to be honest. You, clad in one of the suits that fitted you so well, sitting on his windowsill, a cup of green tea in hands as you stared out the window, trying to analyze every single drop of rain before it reached somewhere outside your vision range. The funny thing was that you had no shoes on, instead, Spencer lent you a mismatched pair, not being one used to having people over, he didn't have a pair of spare slippers. Then, you sat there with a dinosaur-pattern sock on one foot and a striped-pattern sock on the other.

Spencer, sitting on his sofa and holding his own cup (he had let you choose your mug and stayed quiet when you pointed quietly at his favorite), smiled to himself. It was weirdly calming seeing you out of your character, doing something so... human.

"I can feel you staring, you know," you said. And your tone was almost... teasing?

"Right. Sorry." He said, looking down at his steaming tea.

"I'm not scolding you," you said, turning to look at his direction with a grin.

"Right, no—heh..." he replied, bashfully, cheeks reddening at the sight of your smile.

If only you knew... how many hours he would lay awake at night, as thoughts swirled in his head, how everything seemed to shut down at the thought of you. How he would fall asleep to the wish of being on the receiving end of one of your rare smiles, how he appreciated that you were always the first one he talked to upon his arrival at the headquarters. How... how he would do anything for you to look at him under a different light.

Seemingly out of nowhere, you giggled. Everything stopped.

Spencer.exe has stopped working.

"Heheh—I guess... It's not everyday you get to see a Hotchner so out of its—heheh—habitat." You quipped, looking at him with a smile on your face.

Suddenly, Spencer lost his voice. The connection between his brain and his tongue, which felt heavy, disappeared. Completely speechless, eyes slightly wide at the sound of your laughter. It made you laugh a bit more, but when his stare and open mouth got too much to handle, you looked down at your feet, wiggling your toes to distract yourself from the intensity of his gaze full of awe. Then, Spencer got back to his senses, smiling at you as you missed it to look away in embarrassment.

Spencer blinked away the tears and left his car, entering his apartment. As he took off his shoes, he let the tears fall at the sight of your windowsill.

—

Meanwhile, you were getting wasted at some bar. Not just any bar, but the one you usually went with Spencer when you were feeling daring and wanted a change from the places where you both used to go to. You were a bit of a lightweight, so a couple of drinks were enough for you to start playing trivia with Spencer and let your gaze linger for longer, basking in the sight of him so carefree, having fun with you.

Upon your arrival, the bartender that usually took care of your orders, MJ, greeted you with a smile. When she saw no one was joining you, she frowned. "Good evening, Hotch. Where's loverboy?"

You sent her a look, but since you were letting your guard down, after all, there were no acquaintances or friends around, you didn't know if the look came out as a glare or if you looked like a kicked puppy. She snorted. "Gee... That bad, huh?" She asked, and you didn't answer again, though you muttered a soft thanks, MJ when she gave you your go-to drink.

And it turned into two drinks. Three. Four...

(MJ was now giving you alcohol-free drinks, too worried for your well-being. You and Spencer started to grow on her as you two kept coming back.)

You rested your chin on your left hand while you traced patterns with your right index finger on the counter. MJ was eyeing you suspiciously, drying a few glasses with a washcloth. "He kissed another girl." You admitted, quietly.

"No way." She gasped.

"Way."

"But... I thought you two were a thing." MJ was baffled, placing down the objects she was holding in sheer shock. "I always thought you two were like... together for years."

"We were a thing.... I think, at least... I don't know, MJ." You sighed, tucking a stray of hair behind your ear. Looking up at her, hazy eyes taking in her focused expression, you sniffled, "we were on this case and then he met a girl and then the next moment the two of them were making out in a pool. In a freaking pool."

She tsked, anger flashing in her eyes, "I swear, those nerdy guys are the worst."

"Yeah..." You muttered, fiddling with your straw. "Can I have another one?"

She pursed her lips, but she relented. Then, as she handed you the liquid, a guy sat next to you. Did he look like Spencer or were you already hallucinating?

"Hi. I'm Dave. Can I buy you a drink...?" He asked with a small smile, wanting to know your name.

No, not Spencer. It’s cool.

"Hi, I..."

MJ cut you off. "Hey, Dave, I think she had too much to drink already."

They exchanged looks and it took you a minute to feel offended by her interruption and knowing you were perfectly capable of speaking for yourself, but realizing you would probably have to entertain a stranger, you felt grateful for it.

Dave left with a sour smile. "Thanks." You muttered, again, looking at MJ.

"Do you need me to get you a cab, honey?"

"That would be great." You said, placing money bills to pay for your drinks and the tip.

MJ looked around to spot someone to keep an eye on the bar as she led you out of the place, hand never leaving your shoulder. As she called a cab, she made you stand on only one leg to make sure you weren't gonna need her to go with you. You scoffed, but obeyed her all the same, with a low snicker. As you two waited for the cab driver, a woman who MJ trusted with her life (and her favorite regulars), you tried to make conversation to make up for embarrassing yourself by talking about Spencer with someone. How pathetic.

"So, what does MJ stand for?"

She chuckled, shaking her head at you and at your dazed eyes. "That's classified information."

"I'm familiar with that."

The cab driver, Paula, arrived. She greeted the both of you with a smile and a cheerful good evening! As you entered the vehicle, you rolled the windows down and pressed the subject further, "Seriously, is it Mary Jane or were your parents more creative?"

She rolled your eyes at you, shaking her head. "It's Mary Jane. MJ because who would take me seriously?"

You smiled. "I like the shoes!"

Paula started driving slowly, just to let other drivers drop their own passengers, as you were lost in your own little world, serious expression taking over your face again, not wavering, as you delved deeper into the whirlwind of thoughts plaguing your head. Paula, looking at you through the rear-view mirror, asked, "Is everything okay, honey?"

You buckled your seatbelt. "Yes, yes. Just... keep driving slowly, please."

"Where to?"

Only then you realized you never gave her an address. Closing your eyes and taking a deep breath, you gave her Spencer's, telling her you were going home.

—

An unknown number had sent Spencer a couple of messages.

[8:32 p.m.] Lovergirl is here, drinking all by herself.

[8:32 p.m.] Water, but still. I'm not having her passed out without you here.

[8:40 p.m.] Sent her home, people were starting to approach.

Throughout the time he had spent with you at the bar, the two of you exchanged numbers with MJ in case she needed your help — you know, being FBI agents and whatnot. But Spencer didn't need to see her name to know it was her and she was talking about you; 'lovergirl' and 'passed out without you here' gave him clue enough. His stomach tied in knots when he read that people were starting to approach her, the nagging feeling that the image conjured in his mind was making him feel almost sick, then, it hit him like a truck: Lila Archer.

Their… case? was as fleeting as a careless glance. To be honest, Spencer accepted her advances to spite you for having such power over him, even if unknowingly so. The young agent felt like you were so out of his league, so out of reach — you were all that pile of confidence and stoicism and pure lusciousness and everything to him. And he was a young guy who truly had barely been kissed so far. How could he approach you, charm his way into your heart, especially when you barely bared it? With Lila, it was... nice. Easy, even. It was nice being wanted, to be able to read her intentions and desires like a children's book. With you, it was a tantalizing challenge, one he was, for the first time, struggling with. It was not like having a high-school crush, not like pining over the untouchable girls that would catch his interest as he grew older. No. This was something new. You had hit him deeper than ever or anyone before.

Plus, as much as he hated to admit it, he gave room to the anxious thoughts regarding your father as well. Would it affect his relationship with his superior? Would it affect your relationship with your father? Spencer felt dizzy just by the mere thought of ruining something uniquely yours. No, he couldn't impose himself on your life like that. It was mean, it was wrong, it was immoral.

To want, to desire, is to be selfish.

It was a bold assumption. To think you were jealous of him. Nevertheless, the signs were all there, had been all along. He was just dumb and scared enough of making assumptions.

A barely there, faint sound of a knock on his door made Spencer fly out of his bed, dropping his phone on the bedroom floor, but he didn't pick it up. He had a suspicion as to who could be knocking on his door, but he was too scared of assuming anything. Again. Opening the door, he saw you, breathing a bit heavily. The stairs, he supposed. You always complained about them. Once you exchanged looks, Spencer’s surprised one and your earnest one, you asked, "Do you really think I'm a robot?"

Shit. He could feel his heart breaking in a million little pieces. The insecure edge of your voice and words made him squeeze his eyes shut; in his mind, he was kicking himself simultaneously as he sank down to his knees, on your feet, begging you to forgive and forget his dumb, stupid, frustrated, unrealistic words.

"No," he breathed out, wincing, almost as if he was in physical pain. "I—I didn't mean to talk about you like that. I was..."

"Frustrated?"

He nodded, silently, eyes never leaving your face. Your speech, albeit way out of the ordinary that he was used to, was flawless. If not by the dilated pupils and the faint smell of alcohol, not to mention MJ's texts, he would dare to say you were perfectly sober. "I was, too." You admitted, looking down.

Spencer made way for you to enter his apartment. He watched as you kicked your shoes off. The sight, that had become as common as the act of breathing, made his way flutter. You intended on staying. Or so he hoped. You walked further into the place, noticing everything as it ever was, as if you hadn't been to his apartment for some time now. "You must be thinking why I'm here," you said, moving to sit on the couch and mentioning him to sit on the small coffee table in front of you, as if you owned the place, and not him.

Perhaps it was true.

He closed the door once you were inside, hesitating for a moment before joining you. He kept noticing things about you; the way you were walking, the way you could barely look him in the eye, the way you looked… “How much did you have to drink?” He asked, quietly.

"Not much. You know I don't usually drink because I can’t hold my drinks. And I'm sure MJ was giving me plain water at some point." You said, looking up at him. Well, at least, your speech flawlessly delivered, even though you were moving a bit more… disoriented than usual. She's totally a Hotchner.

"I... I am," he started, sitting in front of you carefully. "I... I'm sorry. It's just... You've never been so distant. I guess that I was mean to you to elicit some reaction."

Your analytical gaze softened upon his confession. You needed to give him some break, be a little easy on him. Well, easier than you were being as of lately. Nodding lightly, you added, "I'm here to apologize, too. I know... I know that I pushed you away and I made you think that... that that was your fault. It's not."

He froze. No, he wouldn't have you taking the blame for how his actions caused you to react. He looked up at you, reaching out a hand to touch your intertwined ones, "It is."

"Hear me out. Please." You said, lowly, not breaking eye contact. This was so hard, and you had never felt so afraid before. How ironic — to be afraid of being brave. "I... I guess that by now you know why I pulled away."

"I do," he admitted, nervously. "It took me some time, but I... I think I figured you out."

You looked down, embarrassed. It was overwhelming for him to see you portray such different and so many emotions all at once. To you, it was as agonizing as it was freeing. "Well, yes. So... It, um, it wasn't fair. We... we are not something. We are not a thing."

His heart, doing all the thinking and feeling, nearly stopped. As if it wasn't enough, you kept on going, "I'm sorry, I truly am, for how I behaved and how I made you feel by being absent. It's... it's not my place. You have your own life, Reid. I can't be upset with you for making decisions. You're a grown man..." you sighed, glancing at every direction but at him. "I know that I'm wrong, okay? And I know that I shouldn't have pushed you away, nor should I have kept my feelings from you."

Spencer drew in a long breath. He didn't know what to say, but you couldn't be more wrong. All at once, he wanted to scream, but he didn't know what ro say; he wanted to run, but he didn't want to leave you alone — not for a second. He didn't ever want you out of his sight; he didn't want to be the one you were apologizing to, hell, he wanted everything to be okay between them, but it was nice that she was talking to him, finally.

"I..."

Every time he thought he could say something, words failed him. Then, you took it as another opportunity to word-vomit everything you've been feeling. "I was... I was jealous. I didn't like to see that. I didn't like that it happened. But I also know that I have no right to be upset with you because you're single and she's attractive and you're both consenting and willing to do whatever you please, so..." You shrugged as if speaking those words aloud didn't stab new holes in your heart.

Spencer looked at you, totally speechless. It made you snicker. And speak further. Shut up, you idiot. Please, please, please! "And, ah—hahahah—I guess I am, indeed, a bit of a robot because it took me a bit of alcohol to pluck up the courage to come here and totally—hic—destroy our friendship by telling you I love you so much; that I'd hate to see you with anyone other than me. It happened and I hated it. It still stings."

Spencer's heart threatened to fail once again. Your giggles, your words, your confession... His mind completely short-circuited. She loved him. She loved him? She loved him?!?!???!!! That’s what she’d just said, apparently. Okay, calm down. And she’d been jealous. She didn’t like him kissing another woman, because she fucking loved him. Say something, you dumb idiot, his brain shrieked. Say something!

You parted your lips to say something else, but apparently decided against it. Another beat of silence of Spencer staring dumbly at you. "I'm going," you blurted out, standing up.

Spencer, at breakneck speed, stood up as well to stop you from walking away, placing his hands tentatively on your shoulders. Your bodies were now apart by mere inches. "No." His voice was so small and pained that you sat back down.

Despite your apparent willingness, your next words told him about your turmoil. "Why would I stay, Spencer? I've been pouring my heart out to you and you haven't said a thing."

Looking at you, so bare and so vulnerable, Spencer suddenly had flashbacks from when he had lashed out on you earlier and simultaneously fought the feelings that were bubbling inside of him upon your confession. Couldn't you see the sheer shock on his face? Couldn't you see that he was battling against every single bit of self restraint not to pull you into his embrace and make you believe him when he would tell you that you were the only woman for him?

Sure, he had dreamed of you saying those words to him countless times as time went by and you two got closer. Shit, he literally dreamed of it. Of you. Speaking sweet nothings to him... He broke out of his daze, realizing that he was deadly silent, "Don't go..."

"Then say something. I'm here. Not as Hotch's daughter, not as your coworker, not as a part of the team you work with. I'm here as the woman in whose heart you've grown over the last few months. I'm terrified of your answer and you keep depriving me of it." There was a hint of annoyance and hurry on your voice, and he could understand you, he truly could. He just didn't... he lost his voice when he looked at you.

Saying your name softly, he beginned, “I said stupid, untrue things, and I’m sorry. I’m a jerk, and I know that I’m a jerk and—" You quirked your eyebrow and he took a deep breath, trying to cut his rant. "Just... don't sit there and think that I have nothing to say."

"Have you said it?" You pressed it, quirking an eyebrow.

"No." He admitted, widening his eyes a bit as he realized his mistake.

At the same time, you shot, "Not saying something is also an answer for me—"

"—but not for the reasons you're thinking! Do you know how hard it is for me right now?" Spencer was starting to sound very desperate and pathetic, not to mention the fact that he wasn't answering your questions.

Deep breaths (from both ends).

"Look, Reid..." He glared at you upon hearing his last name. "I think I should go home. You and I clearly need some space—"

"What we need to do is talk."

You sighed. "Then why won't you give me an answer?"

Silence.

"You won't even remember this in the morning."

At that, you deemed yourself utterly defeated. This was useless. "I'm sorry I came over. I'm... I'll just go, okay? Please, don't be upset about tonight. I apologize in advance."

The sight of her, once more shying away from him and turning to escape from him, was making Spencer frustrated, with himself, to no end. His heart clenched at your apology, to which he shook his head vehemently. The thing is, he wanted to get ready to answer you, properly, just like he always had some trick up his sleeve or some funny or curious fact to blurt during the most random moments. Spencer was good at speaking, but only when the speech was already ingrained into his mind, something he had read or rehearsed before. Plus, he was sure your state of drunkenness would stop you from remembering that moment.

Spencer dashed to his door, barely stopping you. No, no, no, no, no... She can't leave. This might be my only chance. "You're not going anywhere."

"Excuse me?"

"Stay with me. I don't want you to go." He said, softly, slowly, looking straight into your eyes. It made you dizzy. Either that or the alcohol.

"No?"

"Y-you're drunk and I... I don't think it's safe for you to go by yourself and it's late and... and..." he trailed off, nervously, desperate to get you to stay.

"I'm not drunk."

"You're not fooling me. You might be as concise as ever but you're not sober. Stay."

"Promise... promise you won't be upset with me?"

His heart dropped, heavy with guilt. And with love for you. "I promise."

Spencer silently led you back to the couch, gingerly holding your hand. He felt dazzled, speechless, desperate, frustrated, all at once. But your touch was starting to ground him back to reality, where you were real, having confessed your feelings for him, and he was a mess, not even being able to say anything back. Without much thinking, he said, "You should stay over tonight."

"Okay... I'll take the couch."

"As if I'd let you sleep on the couch."

"It's okay."

"Stop... stop acting like I sent you away."

You kept silent. You felt like he did. Through his touch, he hoped to get you to understand that his feelings were a mess, but they existed, and they were real, and they were yours. "That'd be alright with me, you know. Taking your couch. I think I would sleep better on your floor than I would ever in my bed. To... to say that anything is better if you're somehow involved."

His stomach made a flip-flop. Brain short-circuited again. You yawned, as if you had just made an annoying comment on the weather.

"Are you tired?" He managed to mutter.

"I am."

"Come on. Let's get you to bed."

"No."

"What do you mean 'no'? I'm not letting you on the couch. Come on."

"I can't go to your bed with outside clothes." You booped his nose.

He chuckled lowly, confused a little by your words. "Are you seriously worried about clothes?"

"You don't like germs. That's why I removed my shoes."

Okay, he thought, if I manage to put her to sleep without having a heart attack, I definitely don't need a cardiologist's appointment because it would mean I'm that strong.

"Y-you... remembered?" Damn it, Reid. Stop stuttering.

You sighed, tiredly, and rested your head on his shoulder, looking down at his hand holding yours. "I remember everything about you."

"You do?"

"Yes. Fortunately or unfortunately."

Spencer was too stunned to speak. Too stunned, too dumb, too afraid. Damn it. Damn it. He couldn't stop cursing internally. He forced himself to pull you towards his bedroom and even though he still sensed some uncertainty, he kept going. Reaching for a pair of sweatpants and a big t-shirt, he gave those to you. "You can change into these," as he left the room to make you more comfortable.

"Wait!" You almost shrieked.

"What happened?" He prompted, worriedly, reaching a hand out to touch your arm.

"I don't want you to go."

He bit back a sigh. "I'll be just outside."

"Just... stay here?"

"I can't—" he interrupted himself, just turning around so his back was to you instead. At that, he looked up at his ceiling and prayed to any deity to let him survive that night.

He could hear the sounds of your movements. The zipper being undone, the soft ruffling of the fabric as you tugged your shirt up your head... He was imagining your exposed skin, every perfect inch, how would you look without all those clothes that suited you so nicely, how would it be to touch you, to run his fingertips all over your heated skin, how would it be to kiss every freckle on your body, to—"Done."

Turning around, the sight was adorable, which made him somewhat guilty of his early impure thoughts. "I feel like Alice when she shrunk into a tiny human."

He couldn't fight the smile at your words. He led you to his bed, where you laid on your back on top of the covers, staring at the ceiling. Spencer left you briefly to get you a glass of water and some painkillers to leave by the bedside table. You thanked him with a silent glance. As he turned to leave, once again, you said in a small voice, almost phrasing it like a question, too afraid of the answer. "Stay."

"I'll take the couch."

"You asked me to stay, thrice, I guess… And I did. I asked you once and you did. I still have a few requests left. I'm keeping tabs."

He relented, laying next to you and placing a pillow between you two. You breathed out a chuckle and he shook his head, clearly knowing where your mind had gone to. He placed his hand on top of the pillow, offering his comfort, and then you tentatively placed yours on top of his. He grinned to himself.

It was hard for him to wrap his head around what had happened that night. He knew his words — or lack of — could be read the wrong way and you possibly did, but he also hoped that his actions were speaking louder. Just as he was getting lost in thought again, he heard your voice once more.

"Spence?"

That damned nickname.

"Thanks for, um, being so respectful. Not that I don't think you'd be. But, um, as you've said, I'm drunk. And I told you I love you. And you're simply holding my hand." He gulped. He was keeping count, too, of how many times you said you loved him. Twice, so far, but he wanted so much more, endlessly. He wanted to lose track. "I guess... that makes me love you even more," you finished, crushing his heart between your palms, voice thick with sleep.

When he finally turned his head to look at you, your eyes were closed and you looked peaceful, drifting off to sleep. Then, when he was sure you were actually asleep, he stood up from his bed, grabbing a pillow and a spare blanket to lay on the floor.

"I'll gladly sleep on my floor if it means I get to have you around, too..."

—

Spencer didn't get any sleep.

He tossed and turned on the floor all night long, both because his carpet was not the most comfortable spot to sleep on, but also and mostly because there was no way in hell his mind stopped working. All through the night, Spencer fought the urge to shake you awake to ask if this was real, if you really loved him, if the words that slipped through your lips were in fact your feelings towards him. Despite his curiosity and eagerness, he let you sleep, figuring that he had already put you through too much already. As you slept, a movie played on his mind: your moments together, your confession of love, and overthinking the words we are not something. We are not a thing. He feared that you would wake up and realize how badly he had screwed up and decide not to want him anymore. Yes, he was that anxious.

You, on the other hand, even though confused by his lack of answer to your heart’s words, felt lighter than ever by speaking out your truth (the booze did help you a lot, though). Being as analytical as you were had its perks. One of them is that you never let yourself suffer too much for too long, too attached to reality to care much about the rest. So what if he rejected you? Life goes on — and that’s what you thought with every other loser that you caught yourself thinking too much of. Spencer, though… Who were you kidding? Spencer was Spencer. And that meant the world… It wasn’t so bad, if he actually rejected you… you’d only have to face him every day, until the rest of your lives, doomed to work together, cursed to think and rethink all over again small, fleeting moments such as an exchange of longing glances.

(You felt strangely calm due to your touch with reality. Maybe, just maybe, you were hoping for the best based on his care with and for you. But boy, were you ready to give him a piece of your mind.)

As your eyes fluttered open, you stretched your limbs on an unfamiliar bed with too much space. Upon your confusion, the memories came back with full force. You jolted, sitting down, searching for him — and, to be honest, not wanting to find him. The house was deadly silent, so you tried to trick yourself that you were sure he wasn't there. You dashed to the bathroom, taking a quick shower to get rid of the shame and the faint reek of alcohol. As you moved around his stuff, you couldn't help but think that you were so familiar with his things that it was almost like you belonged there. Sigh. It turns out that hiding emotions is easier than feeling them, especially their extremes.

As soon as you finished putting on your own clothes, you stopped dead in your tracks as you heard footsteps outside the bedroom. You froze, not knowing what to say. Or do.

Spencer entered the room, holding a tray meticulously organized with some food on it. “Morning. I, um, made you breakfast.” Because of course he would make you fucking breakfast.

“Morning,” you replied awkwardly and hoarsely. Maybe you cried a little bit, who knows… “Thanks, you didn't have to.”

“I did.”

You take your time to get a good look at him. He had bags under his eyes that appeared to be tired. The sight made your heart drop. “I'm sorry…”

“Don't be.”

“But I was wrong.”

“So was I.”

“But—”

“Last night you said some things. Do you, uh, do you remember what you told me?” You nodded, unable to speak. “Do you remember what you told me?” He repeated, trying to get a verbal answer from you.

“Yes, Spencer. I remember.”

“Can you listen to what I have to say now?”

You nodded, weakly.

“I didn't say anything because… because everything had gone in the most opposite direction they could've gone.” He said, approaching you calmly. “I was up the entire night, hoping to find the right words to tell you that would make you believe me after I… was stupid. I… First, I'm sorry I made you feel that way. I know you said that we're nothing, that we weren't something, that we didn't have anything… but… but you're everything to me.” At that, your eyes finally met his. The intensity of your gaze made him shudder, but he kept going. “All the time we've spent together was nothing compared to what I want to have with you… and… and… God! Do you have any idea of the torture I was put through with you? Constantly thinking of what we could be, what we should be, too scared of your reaction or that—that—that Hotch decided to chop off my neck because he found out that I was crushing on his only daughter!”

At the mention of your dad, you burst out laughing. Seriously? That was such a cliché! “Hey! I'm serious!”

“I'm sorry…” You bit your bottom lip, fighting the urge to laugh at him some more. He was adorable.

“As I was saying,” he continued, trying to sound annoyed, but a hint of a smile threatened to break on his lips, and he didn't pull away when you approached him nor he did when you wrapped your arms around his waist, resting your chin on his chest, looking up at him, adoringly. He looked down, meeting your gaze, “I… I love you. I love you too. God, it just feels so good to say that!”

You giggled, again. God, he could never get used to that sound.

“And I’m sorry for being so mean to you when I was frustrated. I should have been more patient and my unthoughtful words hurt you.” You kept silent, remembering his words. “I—I’ll spend the rest of my life apologizing if you’ll have me.” He added, intimidated by your gaze.

Silence. “Well, I accept your apologies. I was unfair to you as well. And you know where I stand when it comes to you. My feelings, I mean.”

“I do… But…”

“But?”

“I'd like to hear you say it.”

“Say what?”

“That you love me?”

“I don't know. Do I, really?” You joked.

He blushed furiously, ready to stutter himself out of that situation. “No, I mean… you—you said that—that you remembered what you said last night and… so… putting two and two…”

Another giggle interrupted him. You traced his jawline, leaning up to kiss his right cheek. “I really, really love you.” A kiss to his left cheek. He chuckled. “I love you.” A kiss on the tip of his nose, to which he snorted, totally lovestruck. “So much.” A lingering, tender kiss to his forehead. He closed his eyes, already anticipating the next spot you would press your soft lips to.

As you made your way to finally kiss his lips, you decided to tease him and let him wait for a bit longer. Spencer groaned in protest and you chuckled a bit, finally deciding that it was enough. Pressing your lips to the corner of his mouth, making him sigh, you were thrilling on making him more and more eager. His grip on you tightened just slightly as he let out a shaky breath. You wanted to laugh, but instead, you poked fun at him. “Now you know what it's like to be teased.”

“I love you. Oh, Jesus… You're driving me insane. You're here… And you, you're you…”

You grinned, looking up at him, finally, finally pressing your lips to his. As you let out a small sigh, his breath hitched, both of you utterly drowning in relief and satisfaction. You pulled back a bit, grinning, going back to kissing him. Spencer's hands found your jawline, sliding back to tangle in your hair as he sucked your bottom lip into his mouth. Parting your lips slightly, you granted him full access to kiss you properly, and he moaned at the taste of you, gripping your hair rougher than before. You groaned softly, and he proudly heard and swallowed all your small sounds.

The ring of a phone broke the urgent atmosphere that was building between you two. Spencer ignored it, letting it ring until you pulled away, gasping for air. As you did, the noise stopped and you met his lost eyes, totally dumbstruck, and you laughed because you probably looked the same way. He gave you a charming, lopsided grin, too stupid, too hypnotized to say anything.

The phone began ringing again. “Son of a…!” he cursed, picking up the phone. “Hi, this is Dr. Spencer Reid and unless this is an absolute emergency, I'm kinda busy—”

“Reid.” Aaron Hotchner's firm voice hit Spencer like a bucket of cold water. Widening his eyes, he gulped.

“Yes… sir?” You smiled at that. Of course you knew who he was talking to.

“We have a new case.” Hotch announced.

“Oh… okay… I, um, I—I'll be there in 20.”

Silence.

“Is everything okay, Reid?” Hotchner could read anyone, Spencer was now sure of that. Even through the goddamned phone.

“Wh—yeah, yeah… Everything's… totally f—fine.” He cursed under his breath as you gripped his vest, trying not to laugh.

“Do you know where she is?” Hotch inquired after another moment of quietness.

“Who?” He squeaked. You chuckled silently.

“My daughter.” Of course it was his daughter.

Playing dumb is not a good look on you, you mouthed.

“N—no… I haven't… heard from her.”

“Sure.” Hotch said, skeptically. Spencer could feel the sweat on his forehead. After a moment, your father finished the call with an unreadable “We need to talk.”

Once the phone call ended, you burst out laughing at Spencer's reaction. “Not funny.” He protested, a frown on his face and a soft smile betraying his faux frustration.

“Come on, it is funny.”

He glared at you. “What do you think he wants to talk about?”

“I don't know. Men talk. I wouldn't want to get involved.” You said, grinning, pulling him by his vest.

He squeezed his eyes shut, relishing in the feeling of having you so close. “Do you think he knows?”

“Of course he knows.”

“How are you so collected?”

“Because I'm not the one he's going to scare to death, apparently.”

“He said ‘we’ need to talk. Emphasizing ‘we’. If he knows you’re here, then it probably—” you cut him off with a kiss.

“Well, then… Are you ready to face your biggest fear? The frightening Aaron Hotchner?”

Glancing at you adoringly, he chuckled. “I’d face him and whoever, whatever, a thousand times, if it meant that I could get you in the end.”

—

A couple days after the case, you and Spencer meet again, in your apartment. Sitting down on the couch, you ask him, amusedly, “Do you think he noticed?”

“Totally. I could barely look him in the eye for the first moments,” He said with a fond smile, hiding from you the fact that he had awkwardly and bravely spoken to your dad about your relationship. You laughed, placing your legs on the top of his legs. “I guess we should thank Lila, after all.” He joked, and you laughed out loud.

Leaning him closer to him, grabbing his chin and looking deep into his eyes, you muttered, “Don’t ever say her name again, Spence.”

Your wish was always his command. It would always be.

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid x yn #spencer reid x hotchner!reader #spencer reid angst #spencer reid self insert

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tevaselmundogiraalreves · 2 days ago

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BUDDIE FIC RECS PART 2

Okay heres more fics cause ive been reading so so much lately, i cannot and will not be stopped. Heres the first list. I will most prob keep on making lists cause i honestly cannot stop reading. Once again, in no particular order:

Songbird by @colonoscopys - Goes first cause i just finished reading this one. FREAK EDDIE IS MY PASION. I said it already but at one point eddie eats bucks hair. Its awesome! FreakxFreak DumbxDumb

a bleeding sun on a silver screen by @hoediaz EVERYONE ALREADY READ THIS ONE RIGHT? IF NOT WTF ARE YOU EVEN DOING GO! ACTORS AU YOU WILL NE FAMOUS FOREVER.

chess inside my chest by @buick118 - HELLOOOO THIS ONE FIXED SOMETHING INSIDE MY CHEST "heart clipped in the backseat with his headphones already secured over his ears." I NEED AN EXPLANATION FOR THIS WRITING ❤️‍🩹

Two, Three Times in a Row by leslie_knope i honestly have no words for how much i love this fic, i reread it all the time, like ive reread it so much its embarrasing. Some of the best smut ive read.

wanna do a bad thing twice by @coldbam BUCK IS SUCH A FREAK GOD HE IS SUCH A FREAK

(You know what actually there are 2 more fics were buck is the freakiest hes ever been so ill put them right below ⬇️)

slow motion, double vision in rose blush by @saryasy Eddie Diaz. His friend. His Eddie. Has kissed a man. Which is strange because Buck is sure as hell he'd remember kissing Eddie.

Me at Buck: FREAAAAAAAAK

Also special mention to that flashback WOW!

i can tell just what you want (you don't want to be alone) by @tallsinspace Buck loses it every single time this is so awesome, it was so FUN reading INFIDELEDDIE this hiatus 🫶🏽

songs and poems and promises by @lesbianrobin buck summer of disatisfaction turns around thanks to eddie god they are so in love! Also special mention to chim well and maddie lets fucking goooooo

we keep this love in a photograph by @burnthatbridge its just so so freaking beautiful. Buck chooses eddies pics for his dating app after he comes out...

the tortured poets department by @colonoscopys once again the kind of fic that you wanna reread again and again.

"The first time Buck touched him, Eddie blew an ambulance up."

still sitting in a corner i haunt by @cal-daisies-and-briars i just love this one so much, should reread it, trust me its worth it.

we're not in love (but the sex is good) by elless. Idk i loved this one. Buddie are not even friends they just want the benefits as soon as they meet. The transition from that to them actually getting to know each other so naturally and start caring about each other is so beautiful.

in the passenger seat by @livingincolorsagain Evan Buckley was put on God’s green earth to drive Eddie Diaz around.

Just BEAUTIFUL.

tying you to me by @hoediaz ONCE AGAIN PERFECT TYPE OF WRITING. Buddie meet each other after 5x11. SO ORIGINAL GOD.

the soft animal of your body by @hattalove . This is a coda to another fic but can be read on its own. Just beautiful beautiful love making. I think i commented that i felt like they were making love with the words they were saying to each other just sitting on the kitchen table talking.

we could follow the sparks, i’ll drive by @markofalover bucks kink should be people calling him mr. diaz and thinking hes eddies husband.

Wait for me there by @kitkatpancakestack Childhood friends reunite after 8 years. I just really really loved this one. Those flashbacks to the past are so beautiful.

wanna be your endgame by literalmetaphor gotta be honest dont see this happening in canon at all cause the second eddie confesses buck would go down on his knees lets be honest. BUT this was so great! I loved it.

Pivot Tables by rainbowninja167 Does it show that i love reading buddie being so freaky and so kinky. Ill just say this: educational sex. Buck brings on the clipboard. Obsessed with this one.

I Broke What You Gave Me, But You Kept Giving More by rcdwings. memory loss buck cant remember his husband. Listen im not always a fun of memory loss fics but i loved this one i loved the twist.

there's a word for it, I'm sure by @ithilien-writes i have to reread this one asap cause i loved it so so much they are just so in love with each other but cant admit it so they just start having sex about it. And god they love esch other.

i could give you fifty reasons by @marviless buck FLIRTS with eddie cause he just want ti help. God this one was so much fun. I remember laughing out loud. I gotta reread.

beating the horse by @doitbuckley Eddie is moving to Texas. Buck finally figures out what he wants. Perfect read to the end of 8a.

In the Back Seat, Windows Up by @semperama SEX IN THE BACKSIT OF THE TRUCK LETSFUCKINGGOOOOOO

Play Me For Keeps by @semperama this one made me feel so MANY things in less than 1k words I WAS WONDERSTRUCK HONESTLY SMILING FROM EAR TO EAR

would you lie with me and just forget the world by @colonoscopys reread this one recently GODDDDD if you havent just go read it right now!!! Childhood friends to lovers for the win always.

your beauty (not just a mask) by @aashiqeddiediaz these next two fics GOD well i have a thing for mirrors and sex in front of mirrors apparently so... this i top tier for me. This one is the shorter one in front of the bathroom mirror 100/10 no notes.

my mirror (staring back at me) by @aashiqeddiediaz this one is longer. Mirror in the bedroom......... Eddie notices bucks insecurities and well he does smth about it ❤️‍🔥 such a fave of mine. It has everything!!!

Dreaming of a White Christmas by rosebuddiekin . Oh boy!!!... just gonna leave the blurb here cause no words could ever be enough: "Buck accepts a challenge to be edged in his and Eddie's own version of the 12 Days of Christmas and loses his mind a little more with each one." (Btw if someone knows the author please lmk. They put a link to their tumblr on ao3 but it doesnt work for me.)

#buddie #buddie fic recs #buddie fanfic

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treatbuckywkisses · 10 hours ago

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HI I STAYED UP WAY TOO LATE TO READ THIS PART !!!! :))

(also this might be my longest rb so far)

SIX UPON A TIME

"You weren’t sure what you wanted him to do, but it was fun to watch the time bomb tick." - let's kiss him on the mouth 🫶🏻

"A reason to get up in the morning." - SHUT. YOUR. MOUTH.

"But then you blink back into reality again when Bucky sits you down on the closed lid of your toilet and slowly makes you let go of his shirt, kneeling down in front of you. The blue of his eyes is devastating, even though you have to keep blinking to keep him in focus." - No I can't do this

"Maybe that’s the most terrifying thought of them all. You would die for him. Once, twice, however many times are necessary if that meant that he’s safe. " - Nika I'm fucking crying. I wish I was exaggerating but I'm actually fucking crying before 10pm.

"But it seems like you haven’t known it at all, because right now, you feel the knowledge of it, of him, surge through you with all its facets. You can’t even begin to put it into words, because where would you start? How do you explain what he makes you feel when he hasn’t been there himself, not in any way that matters or sticks? And if it’s never happened at all, if time keeps unraveling like this, how can it even be real? " - the woman that you are. Oh. My. God. You are completely unreal this is phenomenal.

"His breath hitches when they dip lower, almost reaching the place you’ve watched dimple when he laughs, but he doesn’t move away. He doesn’t laugh, either." - I have actual tears in my eyes you are so evil

"That day, he dies with your stupid nickname on his lips, twisted into something that looks strangely close to that earlier smile. This one doesn’t have time to reach his eyes, though." - Nika I'm fucking sick to my stomach what the fuck is wrong with you

Brief intermission bc I got too into it and read the rest twice before coming back to make notes (I was too immersed)

A crack in the sky you are insane I would FREAK

Where TF does bucky go during the day. As a naturally nosy gal the unknowns in this story make me ITCH I can't wait for everything to be revealed

"Why won’t you look at me? " - this is so hurtful why are you being so mean to me

HOW IS THE DELIVERY MAN EARLY IM LITERALLY IN SHOCK AND WE MOVED ON FROM THIS TOO FAST????????

"You take a sip of your tea and some feeling returns to your translucent fingers. Strange’s cloak draws itself around your shoulders." - hehe we have the cloak 🫶🏻

""I came to you," you realize. "Or, I will, once I get out of this." The relief that washes over you makes you want to sob. "So there is a way out?"" - why did this make ME relieved like I'm stuck in the loop too 😭 I literally have felt anxious for our dear reader like I'm sick and this has soothed my heart the smallest bit (I'm still scared of you)

"You can’t help but wonder when he’s last tried the bed." - Frick you for putting him in the floor what has my baby done to you let him be comfortable 😭😭

"No," Strange answers. "This is just when he wakes up." - this made me LAUGH I needed that

CAPS BDAY IM CRACKING UP THATS SUCH A FUN SILLY MOMENT

"He might has well have doused you in a bucket of ice water. You’re suddenly very aware of every single cell in your body, and you don’t like the challenge sparkling in his eyes." - THEY ARE SO IN LOVE MY GOD IM SICK

Why are we waking up to silence I'm gonna throw up Nika

What did the powers do

Alpine can see us that is both cute and scary 😅

"You lose a few hours here and there, time seemingly speeding up at random sometimes now. One morning, Bucky isn’t in the gym like he usually is, and you work yourself up over it so much you nearly have a panic attack. In the end, you almost crash into him outside of his room, and a rush of reassurance floods through you with such force you can’t even look at him." - what is wrong with you

"That time, Sam is there when Bucky gets shot, and it’s his cry that follows you into the next day. Your hands are clean this time, and somehow that feels worse." - how dare you write these 2 paragraphs and also put them so close together????????

"And then it’s you who’s speechless, because the shock on Peter Parker’s face is more than you bargained for." - FULL. BODY. CHILLS. WHAT A MIND YOU HAVE NIKA. I WILL NEVER GET OVER THIS.

"Sweat pearled on your forehead as you and the universe held your breath again. You could feel your hold slipping with every second that wasn’t allowed to pass. Time was impatient with you." - THE LAST LINE ?????? I'm speechless

"And with time stumbling and flailing around in confusion, you made it out of the building and into the waiting cab." - ok chapter 7 pls 🫶🏻

I'm kidding you are PERFECT I can't believe I missed out on this for as long as I did?!!!!!!! Thank you so much for sharing your incredible brain with me I want to kiss you on the mouth I love you!!!!!!!

time after time [6]

series summary: After what starts out as a fairly normal mission, you find yourself stuck in a time loop. Which would already be bad enough in itself if it didn’t also mean having to watch Bucky die over and over again.

pairing: bucky barnes x f!reader

word count: 12.8k

chapter warnings: maybe reacquaint yourselves with the story premise, it's been a hot minute; characters refusing to be honest with themselves and each other; violence against side characters, minor injury descriptions; strange is still annoying

a/n: this is quite possibly the scariest fic update i've ever made. a lot has happened since the last chapter was posted, and i won't bore you with all of it. suffice it to say, i missed sharing this story. thank you for being patient with me.

series masterlist | main masterlist | read on ao3

six: butterfly effect

Working with Sam and Bucky was different than working with Natasha and Steve had been.

At the Compound, it had felt terrifyingly easy to find your place, to slip into the new role they granted you as if you were always meant to fill it. You’d felt that way before, and it hadn’t turned out quite so well. Maybe that was why you used to dread the end.

Now, however, for the first time in a while, you constantly had to prove yourself in order to not be left back in that dark place they’d found you in, alone and trying to make sense of any of it. And you liked that. The challenge was something you could live with, something you could enjoy more than the ever chilling anxiousness that things were simply too good to be true.

So when Sam called you on for a follow-up mission shortly after the first one, you jumped at the chance.

It didn’t matter that you barely talked about anything but work, even when you were hanging out in your spare time; in fact, you much preferred that to digging up the past. You even learned to find a wicked sort of enjoyment in provoking Bucky’s initial dislike of you to the point of where he would barely speak to you at all unless it was to snap at you.

You weren’t sure what you wanted him to do, but it was fun to watch the time bomb tick.

It wasn’t as easy to get under the new cap’s skin.

"You’re making us sound like we’re partners in a law firm," Sam said, a smile clearly audible in his voice even though his eyes didn’t betray it. Bucky didn’t even dignify you with a clench of his jaw.

"What?" you said, crossing your legs. "Every newspaper in the city calls you 'Wilson and Barnes'. Don’t you ever read the articles about yourselves?"

"Unlike some people, I don’t have all the time in the world," Sam said, leaning back on the couch with his eyes closed.

"Pity. The Bulletin called you the 'nation’s new dynamic duo' last week." You looked at Bucky, your eyebrows raised in amusement. "You’ve officially been downgraded to a sidekick, Barnes."

He answered with an empty glare of his own. "And what does that make you?" he said, but not like a question.

"Nothing at all," you still grinned. "Everything is right in the universe."

The reporters had yet to pick up on your addition to the team, which was proof enough that your powers still sufficed to fly under the radar. Combined with the fact that you were actually regularly talking to people again—and people who weren’t your therapist or your customers no less—, things almost felt like they were settling into a new kind of normal. Still somewhat weird, and still a struggle each day, but somewhat hopeful, nevertheless.

You’d almost forgotten what that could feel like.

“Right. You’d prefer people not knowing about your creepy powers.”

"Aww." You tilted your head to the side happily. "You think I’m creepy."

Bucky scoffed into his mug, refusing to look at you like he always did, and then he strolled off again.

In truth, you couldn’t blame him all that much. You’d lived with your powers all your life and still found them unsettling sometimes, particularly when they got away from you and left you trapped in a universe that refused to move.

That was none of his business, though.

Besides, Bucky had taken to moving around so quietly you could never tell he was there until he’d cough and you’d flinch, usually dropping whatever you were holding in your hands. You’d already cracked your phone screen twice.

Not that he’d know, or care if he did. It gave you great satisfaction to erase his amused smirk from existence.

"Give it time," Sam said without moving. "He doesn’t like new people."

"Neither do I," you murmured, and he snorted. "What?"

"Pretend with me all you want, but maybe do a bit of introspection there."

You crossed your arms with a pout. "You sound like my therapist."

"Mhm," Sam hummed, opening one eye to look at you. "You owe me fifty bucks for that."

"Fuck you."

"Oh, would you look at that, the price just went up."

He chuckled as you flipped him off and went to look for the coffee pot.

Of course, your way got blocked. The downsides of not hating having people around.

Bucky was leaning against the counter, considering you. "You go to therapy?"

"You should try it some time," you said distractedly, reaching around him to get your favorite mug. Bucky recoiled like he was afraid you’d burn him. You shook your head in annoyance. "Helps with the stink eye."

"Is that what they told you?"

"They told me I needed to process my grief, but I decided to focus on some more achievable goals." You took a sip of your coffee, sighing in comfort. "We came up with a compromise."

Bucky scoffed, pushing his hands into the pockets of his jacket. He still hadn’t taken his gloves off around you.

"Sounds like a way to drag it out," he said.

You frowned into your cup. "It’s not a race, Barnes. There’s no finish line for this shit."

Something odd went over his face, but he went back to avoiding your gaze when you tried to make it out. You knew him well enough by then to get the hint, and so you left him alone.

What was it to you if he didn’t want to warm up to you. That had no bearing on the fact that overall, your situation wasn’t all too bad anymore.

It was something, you supposed as you curled up in your spot on the couch with your book later that day, slipping in and out of time to keep your company a little longer because deep down, you knew you were sick of being alone.

It was weird and different, yes, but it was still something anyway. Something to do with your afternoons again.

A reason to get up in the morning.

*****

"What are you talking about?" Bucky asks quietly, carefully, but he makes no attempt to pull back from your embrace. It allows you to take another shuddering breath, inhaling his scent until it makes you dizzy.

The fact that you probably won’t be this close to him again any time soon makes you press into his chest even harder, hard enough to feel his heart flutter against your forehead, the shock of the situation making it pick up speed.

For a split second, you slip into a sort of vacuum, your thoughts quieting as he keeps mumbling to you, and in that blissful moment, your situation doesn’t seem quite so dire anymore, more like a bad dream. You’re safe now, aren’t you? How could you not be?

But then you blink back into reality again when Bucky sits you down on the closed lid of your toilet and slowly makes you let go of his shirt, kneeling down in front of you. The blue of his eyes is devastating, even though you have to keep blinking to keep him in focus.

You don’t want to have to do this, you realize once your gasps for air start calming again. You’re not sure if you can bear it.

But nothing in this loop has been about what you wanted.

And so your resolve is made, with your heart sinking until it’s hidden away deep, deep inside of your chest. You ball your hands into fists to keep your fingers from twitching.

Two or three times he watches you inhale, start to say something, halt before you can, almost choking on it. Like your body is refusing to go through with it.

"How do you know when I’m lying?" you finally ask, and your voice sounds oddly clear in your small bathroom.

Bucky’s face goes from concern to confusion, his frown deepening. You want to smoothe it away with your thumb.

You close your eyes so maybe the temptation goes away.

"What?" he asks, and he still sounds so damn gentle.

"I’ve never been able to lie to you," you say. "What’s my tell?"

You can feel him move away from you and the ache of it makes you look again. His shirt and his hands are covered in his own blood, and you’re sure there’s some fucking metaphor in the way it stains the golden inlets of his vibranium arm crimson but for the most part, you can’t unsee the damn irony of it all.

Because you’ve pissed him off now.

"You scared the shit out of me, Y/N. And Sam, too." There’s the sharpness in his voice you know all too well. You haven’t heard it in a while. "What the hell is going on?"

"I’m trapped in a time loop," you say, squeezing your fists more tightly. "I’ve been reliving this day for weeks, my powers aren’t working, I’m the only one who can stop time from completely collapsing, I can’t do that without my powers, and you’re gonna die later today. Am I lying?"

It’s maybe the worst way you’ve ever told him, because watching Bucky’s face change is almost too much. This is exactly why you’re doing it, though; as long as you’re going through this loop with a giant guilty knot in your stomach, you’re not going to make any progress. And you need to put an end to all of it.

So you meet his gaze, almost unwavering, and you don’t blink.

His shock bursts free as an incredulous laugh. "What?"

"I’m stuck," you say again, slower, nodding at his hands, his blood, continuing to push, "and you keep dying."

Bucky looks down, then, before his gaze falls back onto you and he sits back on his heels. The pause lasts for way too long, heavy and smelling of iron, and you’re pretty sure you’re suffocating. He only says one word, and it sounds so defeated. "How?"

You swallow heavily. "You got shot on a mission," you say, but he shakes his head, the fire returning to his eyes.

"No. How did you get stuck?"

"I …" You blink, because you’re not prepared for this question, because you can never predict what he’s going to say, because he keeps doing that to you, because somehow, and not like you’ve expected, you feel like you’ve been here before.

How did it happen? That’s not … Okay.

"It was an accident," you finally say, helplessly, defensively.

There’s a flicker of something in Bucky’s eyes. "What happened?"

"You died. You died that first time and I didn’t—I couldn’t …" You swallow the sob that threatens to shake your voice again. Damnit, you’re supposed to push him away.

He moves his arm, then hesitates, as if he wants to reach out to you but changes his mind at the very last moment.

Right. He doesn’t normally do that.

Except he has.

He has held your hand and pulled you closer and written on your arm and let you lean on him with the full weight of your body, as if to him, you weighed nothing at all. He’s been offering to carry your load so many times, and he doesn’t remember a single one of them.

"Please don’t look at me like that," you say tonelessly, watching Bucky retreat.

"Like what?"

"Like I’m gonna fall apart at any moment. And yes," you add when his mouth opens, "I—I know I just did, I’m aware of the irony, but this is exactly why I can’t keep telling you, I don’t—I can’t stand it." You press your wrists against your temples, ignoring the buzz of the whirling time symbols against your skin, the stinging in your eyes. "You shouldn’t even—I mean, are you even the slightest bit worried about yourself? Because I feel like I’m the only one here, and I should’ve just—"

You stop yourself, shaking your head. Your hands are very clammy all of a sudden, and when you tug at your rings just to do something, one of them slips off your finger and clangs against the tiles as if to punctuate the silence.

When you reach down, you move your wrist in a way that makes you hiss in pain and flinch back. Bucky’s eyes flit between your own and your hand, his frown deepening in a strangely soft way. "Did you break it?" he asks quietly.

"I’m fine," you mumble, and he looks at you disapprovingly. "You’d grabbed my hand just before …"

His jaw twitches as the blame settles in again, and you would do fucking anything to finally make him understand that none of this is his fault. That you should be in pain for what you’re putting him through.

"It should’ve been me," you tell him, because it’s true.

Even earlier in the week, you would’ve taken great delight in seeing Bucky Barnes’ face fall at something you’d said. Hell, you’d have probably enjoyed it on Thursday, because there used to be this easy sort of gratification that came from riling him up, from catching him off guard.

Seeing it now, though?

It makes your fingers twitch.

"Don’t say that. Not even as a joke."

"I’m not joking." You can feel your pulse in your ears. "They aimed a shot at me, and you pushed me out of the way, and you died. So by all accounts, if your instincts weren’t so damn noble all the time, it should’ve been me, and if I weren’t such a fucking coward, I’d have gone back and switched places with you weeks ago."

The thought terrifies you, even though it’s true. No part of you wants to go through the things Bucky is, but if someone gave you the choice between either one of you right now, you wouldn’t even have to think about it.

Maybe that’s the most terrifying thought of them all. You would die for him. Once, twice, however many times are necessary if that meant that he’s safe.

"I’d like to see you try," Bucky says, and something slams into your chest as an old familiar shiver runs down your spine.

There’s a pained edge to his gaze, contemplative and heartbreaking and …

"You’re doing it again," you say, your voice barely above a whisper.

"What am I doing?" His hand brushes your knee, and your skin is left searing.

You swallow heavily. "Being noble."

Bucky chuckles softly, and his eyes leave yours for just a moment. "Don’t exactly feel like that."

He’s beautiful.

It’s a new thought, despite everything. Even when you’ve noticed it before, you’d roll your eyes at the fact and move on, because this was Bucky. So what if his face was delectably handsome?

But it seems like you haven’t known it at all, because right now, you feel the knowledge of it, of him, surge through you with all its facets. You can’t even begin to put it into words, because where would you start? How do you explain what he makes you feel when he hasn’t been there himself, not in any way that matters or sticks? And if it’s never happened at all, if time keeps unraveling like this, how can it even be real?

So it’s pure instinct that makes you move, like someone would pinch themselves to ensure they’re not asleep, even though you’re very aware that this isn’t just a dream. You need to confirm that Bucky is real, though.

The air stands still when your fingertips trace along his cheekbone, leaving a delicate flush behind in their trail, barely touching and yet …

And yet.

His breath hitches when they dip lower, almost reaching the place you’ve watched dimple when he laughs, but he doesn’t move away. He doesn’t laugh, either.

There’s a scraping sound at the closed bathroom door, followed by a short knock. You flinch backwards.

"I’m leaving the first aid kit on the bed," Sam calls from the other side. "Just … holler if you need me."

"Thanks, Sam," Bucky says coarsely, and you can hear steps receding. The scratching continues, though. That damn cat.

Finally, he breaks eye contact, clearing his throat.

"Do you want me to help you clean up?"

You shake your head. You’re not sure you could stomach more of this. "I’m good, don’t … Don’t worry about it."

Bucky drags a hand through his hair, muttering something to himself you can’t quite make out. Slowly, he gets to his feet again.

"We need to come up with a plan," he says, and you want to cry except … you’re tired. Tired and sick of this.

"I need to come up with a plan," you correct him. "We have been trying to do this as a team for weeks, and it doesn’t change anything except waste time and …" And hurt. "I can’t do it anymore, Buck."

There must be something in your voice that thaws his defiant glare a little. "So what’s the plan?"

And with a sigh, you fill him in on everything that’s been going on with Strange and your powers. Again. One last time.

You have to do this alone.

Bucky ignores your insistence that you can manage just fine and sets your wrist while you talk. Alpine, now free to roam wherever she pleases again, has decided the bathroom isn’t quite that interesting after a short look inside, and is now taking a nap in the spot of sunshine next to your bed.

"New deal," he says once you’re done, once he’s thought about it all, and you raise your eyebrows. "Don’t do anything stupid."

"You know me," you smile, checking the makeshift dressing around your hand. The green symbols are hidden by the layers of gauze.

Bucky doesn’t bite. "I’m serious, just—don’t."

"How would you know?"

"I wouldn’t," he says, snapping the first aid kit shut so vehemently Alpine’s tail twitches. "But I trust you."

Your head whips up at his words, even though his back is still turned to you. He doesn’t see your face as your heart is jostled into a new rhythm, so violently and unexpectedly that you lift your hand without thinking, pinkie outstretched.

"Promise."

He smiles when he notices, and you wish you could take a picture to carry with you through the rest of this nightmare.

That day, he dies with your stupid nickname on his lips, twisted into something that looks strangely close to that earlier smile. This one doesn’t have time to reach his eyes, though.

***

There’s been a change in the weather.

Not literally, no; of course not literally. Fuck, you long for a single cloud, a raindrop, a damn hailstorm to break the streak of endless perfectly sunny days that don’t fit your mood in the slightest.

But there’s a tinge to the sky that makes your stomach turn. It’s not very obvious to anyone who hasn’t looked at the exact same sunset for weeks on end, just a single strip of color across a storybook horizon. It looks like a crack.

"Do you see that?" you ask warily when you notice it for the first time, ominous and yet almost completely hidden by the trees and the buildings. Just dancing around the edge of your vision like another mockery.

"What?" Sam asks, eyes not leaving the path ahead.

"That … thing in the sky. What is that?"

Bucky stops and squints at where you’re pointing. "It’s called a cloud," he says dryly.

"With that color?" you murmur, but continue walking when he stops to turn to you, your wrist tingling. His stare is searing your neck, but you ignore that, too.

The best course of action, you’ve learned, is to shut your brain off as soon as you get out of the quinjet and just go through the motions, trying to ride out the mission like you’ve done dozens of times before. There’s a sort of autopilot you’ve fallen into after a couple of days, and it’s the only thing keeping you somewhat sane. Most days, it means it’s all over quickly, and you can’t help but feel glad about that.

You’ve given up trying to change your own actions to get him through the day.

But this …

It’s something new, and in all this monotony, that thought is both frightening and exciting. It distracts you enough to get you off script.

"Lovely interior design," Sam mumbles like he always does.

"Remember how this was supposed to be a day off?" You kick one of the pebbles in your path with a sigh. "What happened to 'don’t worry, Y/N, after training the day is all yours'?"

"Occupational hazard," Sam says, checking his map for the thousandth time.

"You know what I mean."

"Don’t you have tomorrow off?" Bucky says over the intercom.

Tomorrow. "Right." It comes out somewhat strained, your fingernails digging into the palm of your hand. "And why do you know that?"

Sam shakes his head and there’s a brief crackle of static in your ear. For a fraction of a second, you nearly dare to hope Bucky will give you an answer, even though you have no clue what it would be.

"They’re heading your way now," he says instead, "so get a move on."

And just like that, you’re back on track.

Quickly clearing your throat of the lump that has formed there, you say tonelessly, "I probably only have one reset left. Two, if we’re lucky and you two aren’t being stupid again."

It’s taken you a while to get used to it. To the constant lying.

You’ve worn fingerless gloves on missions before, so that’s not raised any questions from the others yet, and your rings stay hidden away. You’ve been more reluctant to take them off since the one you lost on your bathroom floor vanished into thin air.

The other thing you’ve picked up on while endlessly repeating this day is that Bucky is less likely to catch you in a lie if he can’t see your face.

So you’ve made an effort of spending as little time as possible with him.

It’s surprisingly easy to stay in your room for the majority of the day, because he doesn’t remember it ever being any other way. Even today’s little exchange will be lost to the loop soon enough, just like that little pause he made, just like the bullet through his heart.

Still, when you wake up with a start on Friday, July 4th, you look at the sky first. Its perfect blue doesn’t soothe the sinking feeling in your stomach at all.

You’ve been waiting for something to change for weeks, and now that it’s here, you don’t like it at all.

"What did you expect?" Strange says with an infuriating composure once you’ve nervously recounted your experience. "I told you, time isn’t supposed to get stuck in this way. Of course your reality was going to act up sooner or later."

"I really feel like you should be more concerned about this," you mutter, letting a ball of green energy pass from your left hand to the right. It’s about the size of a quarter now.

"Honestly," Strange answers, "I thought something like this would have happened a while ago." He taps his fingers together. "Again. Slower."

"So what am I supposed to do then, just ignore it?" The green ball pulses with your indignation, turns around itself once and then sinks into your palm again.

"In all likelihood, it’s a one time glitch. If everything is back to normal today, I wouldn’t worry about it."

Your thumb rubs across the empty space on your finger. "Easy for you to say if you’re not the one who’s stuck in an endless hellscape."

"Aren’t I?"

You both roll your eyes at each other, but then you bite the inside of your cheek again, unable to shake the feeling of a whole new shade of dread. "What if it’s not just a one time glitch?"

The corners of Strange’s cloak roll up on themselves, and he doesn’t meet your eye when he says, "We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it."

It’s still early when you return to the present, too early for Bucky to be back from wherever he’s always going, so you decide to venture out of your room again, stretching your tired limbs. You’re pretty sure at this point that waking up on the floor is never going to feel fun.

Sam is in the kitchen as always, reading something on his laptop. He’s still sitting down, which means that it’s even earlier than you expected. You miss these early parts of the day, the calm before the storm.

If today were only made up of these few hours, you suppose, it might not be half so bad.

You pull up a chair next to him and lean a cheek against your hand. "What’re you doing?"

"Research." Sam sighs, rubbing his temples. "Remember that ULTIMATUM group?"

"Never heard of them," you say with a small yawn. "Is that an acronym? What does it stand for?"

Sam gives you a glare and your mouth twitches slightly.

"Anyway," he continues, turning his laptop so you can see the article he’s reading. "They’ve been more active again lately. Acquired a couple thousand dollars’ worth of lab equipment through one of their contacts and then went underground again."

Of course, you know all this. You’ve been over it again and again, back when you were all still trading information like it could save Bucky’s life. Like there was a deeper meaning behind any of this damn loop other than the fact that you, and you alone, fucked up.

Useless.

You close the mental door on those thoughts and take a deep breath. You hate to admit it, but all of this sitting around with your thoughts bullshit you’ve been doing has actually helped you to clear your head somewhat—if only to make it through the parts of the day you can’t avoid.

"And now what?" you ask, pretending to just have reacquainted yourself with the topic.

"Now," Sam says, taking his laptop with him as he stands up and strolls over to the kitchen island, "I’m waiting for Torres to get back to me so we can decide our next steps once we’re all recovered." He gives you a meaningful look and you scowl.

Then, slowly, his words register in your brain, and you stare at his back as he stretches and then moves to make some coffee, wordlessly taking one of your mugs out of the cupboard as well as his own.

"You don’t seem too worried," you say hesitantly.

Sam shrugs. "Until we have a proper lead, there’s not much we can do. And I doubt they’ll be doing any actual damage any time soon. They’re a lot more covert than the Flag Smashers ever were."

"Right," you say, more to yourself than in response.

"Try that again, less convincing?"

"I don’t know," you mutter, slowly following him to lean against the fridge. "Just … what if Torres did find something? Should I be getting ready?"

Sam frowns. "Are you not telling me something again?"

You try to shake the thought, pulling your arms around you. "Forget it."

You don’t, though.

It keeps bugging you, because that day like any other day, he knocks on your door at 4:32 on the dot, and you go on that mission anyway. And even though this has been happening for weeks, you’re just starting to suspect that you are, in fact, still not getting the whole picture.

***

Catching a glimpse of Sam’s phone turns out to be more difficult than you first thought.

You’re still trying to get the timing exactly right a couple of days later, and you miscalculate enough to catch Bucky on his way upstairs.

"Hey," he says, his shoulders tense when he looks at you. There’s a restlessness to him that he’s not quick enough to hide; or maybe you’ve just grown more perceptive when it comes to him.

"Hi," you say, crossing your hands behind your back. "Where’ve you been?"

He shrugs. "For a walk."

You already know he won’t elaborate if you try poking, so you don’t. "Was it good?"

"Lotta people." He hesitates when you continue to not meet his eye, and then he says, "Do you want to talk about it?"

You swallow, ignoring the tingling sensation on your wrist. "Not particularly. Do you?"

Bucky’s jaw twitches. "Nah."

Somehow, you feel like that’s also a lie. Once again, you’re left wondering.

The silence between you stretches as you continue to not quite look at each other, until you finally clear your throat, nodding at the front door. "I’m getting coffee, do you want something?"

Honestly, it’s just an excuse as to why you need to leave before he notices something off again somehow, but Bucky tilts his head in amusement.

"Didn’t you just get some this morning?"

"So? I like coffee."

"Really. I never knew."

"Screw you."

You can hear him huff behind you, but thankfully the door falls shut before you can do anything stupid. Like turning around to face him, for example.

You miss his eyes.

Why won’t you look at me?

When the elevator doors open, you almost yelp into your delivery guy’s face. He stumbles a half-step backwards, somehow managing to keep a hold of the boxes precariously balanced on his arm while he’s reading something on his phone.

"Oh my god," he lets out, "I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I was just …"

"Early." You blink.

"Sorry?"

"Nothing," you say, frowning only a little. "Wait, let me get that."

You quickly sign for the delivery and open the door with your keycard, holding it open for him. You’re not exactly afraid of burglars these days, and besides; you know this guy by now.

"If you could just go straight ahead and to the right, that’s where the kitchen is."

"Sure thing," he shrugs. "Thanks—"

His mouth snaps shut and he blushes a little as if he wanted to say something else but thought better of it.

You’ve introduced him to Sam enough times you know he’s going to be fine, so you just smile and wave him in.

When you step out on the street, you instinctually look up at the sky. It’s outrageously blue, blatantly perfect for an endless Friday, and even when you squint, you can’t make out any irregularities.

It’s a tiny relief, but a relief nontheless.

Lucy is leaning against the wall just out of sight of the storefront, an unlit cigarette dangling between her lips as she rummages through her pockets. Her colorful makeup has begun to melt off in the sweltering heat, making the red-white-and-blue stars on her cheeks bleed into each other to look somewhat purplish.

"Are you off or on break?" you call over.

She lifts her head, the glare vanishing when she recognizes you. "Counting the seconds," she says. "Don’t you have anything better to do?"

You sidestep a couple of pedestrians hurrying to cross the street and join her. "Not really."

"I hate you." She finally fishes a lighter out of her back pocket, sighing contentedly as she takes her first drag. "I swear, this day just won’t pass."

Fine. Maybe your chuckle is a little shrill. "I’m sorry."

Lucy waves you off with a gesture crude enough to make a young dad with a stroller send the two of you a dirty look. "You without your shadow today?" she asks, inspecting her nails.

You blink. "My shadow."

"You know. Your friend who’s been in here eight thousand times and still gets confused when he orders." A cloud of smoke vanishes into thin air. "Kind of the lingering type, isn’t he?"

"He’s old," you say, because for some reason nothing else comes to mind.

"Not that old."

"No," you agree, "not that old."

For a moment, you’re afraid she’s going to ask you to pass her number along to him, and you’re already scrambling to find an answer somewhere in the depths of your brain, coming up empty. That’s the problem with being able to unhave entire conversations; you don’t usually really have to deal with reactions if you don’t want to.

Without your powers, though, you’re stuck, and it’s making you wish you hadn’t come here at all.

Instead of any of that, she pulls a flyer out of her other pocket. "Sorin and Cass are doing a gig in Brooklyn next week, do you wanna come with? They’re still terrible, but they got a new bassist who seems alright."

You take the flyer, staring at it. "I didn’t know they’re in a band," you admit.

The truth is, you’ve never paid that much close attention to the people you work with. Maybe that’s been a mistake.

Lucy shrugs. "You’re always doing your own thing." It stings, even though you’re pretty sure she doesn’t mean for it to. "It’d be fun if you came, though."

"I’ll think about it," you say, and your smile is a little unsure, but genuine.

So is hers.

"If you don’t want to hang with us all night, you can bring some friends, too." Her emphasis hangs in the air between you like a dare.

You snort. "I feel like this isn’t quite their scene."

"You feel like or you know?"

"Isn’t that the same thing?"

"No." She puts her cigarette out on the wall behind her. "Knowledge is based on experience. On memories. Your feelings don’t sit in your head. And so they don’t make sense and they’re not necessarily true." She winks.

"You’re weirdly smart," you say, shaking your head.

"I know. It’s a curse." Lucy sighs. "Anyway, think about it. I gotta get back to hell."

"You know," you say with a grin, "I could really do with a frappuccino right about now."

"You know what you could do?" she answers in her sweetest customer service voice, pointing you down the street. "Get in a trash can."

Damnit. You might actually grow to like Lucy.

She taps her fingers against her temple and then shuffles back inside, a hot rush of air blowing out of the AC as the door opens. You fold the flyer up to fit into your back pocket, hoping you’ll make it to that concert one day, and then you walk on, aimless again for the moment.

***

Time passes while it’s standing still.

The problem is, at least for the moment, that by all appearances you’ve reverted back to square one. Going through your day as though any of this is even remotely normal, counting the hours and minutes to reenter the astral plane and feel some semblance of control again.

It’s been nice, really, if you’re ignoring the constant underlying feeling of dread.

Which you’re getting better at.

You wake up with a start to the sun in your face and FRIDAY blasting The All-American Rejects at full volume.

Rinse and repeat.

You wake up with a start to the sun in your face and FRIDAY blasting The All-American Rejects at full volume.

Even on days when you’re sure you’re making progress with your powers, every reset makes it just a little harder to keep dragging yourself onwards.

You wake up with a start to the sun in your face and FRIDAY blasting The All-American Rejects at full volume.

"You look like shit."

Your head rolls to the side slowly, allowing yourself a glance while Bucky is still distracted with his arm. Concentration makes his brows knit, and something warm spreads in your chest.

"I’m so tired," you say, voice barely above a whisper.

He doesn’t look at you, but you’re grateful for it for once. Your eyes are stinging a little.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Yes. Yes. Yes.

"Not particularly."

"Do you want to talk about something else?"

You almost smile. "Like what?"

Bucky shrugs with one shoulder. "Like the fact that you just planted Sam into the mat head-first and yet made a face like you killed a puppy?"

Sometimes you wonder how he still manages to slip in without you noticing, no matter how many times he does it.

"Did I?"

"Did you kill a puppy? I’d hope not."

Your body’s been getting stronger, anticipating Sam’s every move. At this point, it’s not so much training as it is an exercise in muscle memory; but how would he know that?

It still isn’t enough. It’s never enough.

You pitiful, selfish, useless bastard.

"You’re doing it again," Bucky says and you blink.

"Doing what?"

"I don’t know, but I don’t like it."

Something inside you twinges uncomfortably and you wrap your arms around your knees, pulling them into your chest. "That might just be me, period."

Bucky huffs. "Take the towel on the right," he says. "I already used the other one."

So you do.

And then you wake up with a start to the sun in your face and FRIDAY blasting The All-American Rejects at full volume, and then you wake up with a start to the sun in your face and FRIDAY blasting The All-American Rejects at full volume, and then you wake up with blah, blah, blah.

"I can’t do this anymore."

Strange watches you, but you don’t get up from where you’re lying, blankly staring at the ceiling, feeling like your chest is about to explode.

You don’t want to feel like something is tearing you apart every single time, even though you know it’s not permanent. There’s always the tiniest glimmer of hope that this will all be over soon.

Or maybe it’s dread.

"Maybe you can’t," Strange answers.

You blink, sitting upright. "What?"

"Maybe you are actually incapable of cleaning up your own mess. You’ve never had any training before, after all. Maybe you’re too weak."

Useless. Not good enough. Waste of time.

"If this is reverse psychology, it’s not working," you say through gritted teeth, pressing your eyes shut so tightly they don’t burn anymore.

Strange ignores you. "Maybe you’re going to be stuck in this loop forever. If that’s the case, there’s no point to keep trying either. Maybe we should just call it a day."

You can feel your breaths coming in shorter.

"Maybe you’re just going to keep failing to save anyone for the rest of your life."

"Stop it!"

An explosion of power goes through your body, bouncing off the walls and bathing the room in a ghostly green light. You cough and curl into yourself as you watch it billow, still echoing the words back at you, "too weak", "stuck in this loop forever". Your bones are heavy with exhaustion.

Strange crouches down next to you and a cup of fragrant tea draws itself up to the side of your face.

"You’re drawing the bulk of your power from pain. From a desire to fix things that you think you alone are responsible for when the truth is that each and every one of us is constantly creating reality."

"Fuck you," you mumble. When you sit up, your head is still swimming.

"You cannot keep this up."

"If I’m such a lost case, then why do you bother?"

"I’m trying to tell you that you’re not." He points at the walls, still covered by that greenish fog. "This is the strongest display of your powers I’ve seen from you yet, and it only happened because you were lashing out. Pain is not a sustainable source of energy. Imagine what you could do if you could be in control."

Do as I tell you.

"There’s no way to control my powers on a larger scale. It’s impossible."

"You keep telling me that, and yet you keep coming back. Why?"

You push yourself up to your elbows, wiping at your face. "Because I have to hope, right?"

"And there it is."

You take a sip of your tea and some feeling returns to your translucent fingers. Strange’s cloak draws itself around your shoulders.

The wizard himself stays quiet for another minute or two, before he asks, "Why do you think I’m talking to you right now? Helping you, even, nevermind your constant whining and your insistence that this won’t work, after you’ve spent your whole life running away from anything resembling actual responsibilities."

"I didn’t—"

"Answer the question."

"Because I created a time loop?" you guess.

"But you already know that this loop is just one point on the timeline. A single day, repeated endlessly, but going exactly like it was always supposed to, once resolved. So, without the time stone and my privileges as the Sorcerer Supreme, and with your protections still in place, how would I have found you?"

He knew exactly where and when to look for you. But he’s right, that shouldn’t even have been possible unless …

"I came to you," you realize. "Or, I will, once I get out of this." The relief that washes over you makes you want to sob. "So there is a way out?"

"Of course there is," he says, surprisingly gently. "Time isn’t supposed to get stuck."

You sit with that for a minute, hiding your face in your hands as Strange stays silent. Finally, you take a deep breath and look at him again with newly sharp focus.

"So why don’t you just tell me how to do it?"

He raises an eyebrow. "You know that’s not how it works."

"Yes. It is. It’s literally what I do all the time."

"What you do is leaving realities you don’t like by turning backwards."

"That’s not true."

"Just because your motivations aren’t entirely selfish doesn’t mean you’re right."

You’re so damn exhausted. The frustration of this whole thing is really starting to scratch at your sanity, and there’s an ache in your chest as you stare at your own sleeping face, biting the inside of your cheek, thinking.

Strange snaps his fingers to get your attention back.

"I’m not a mind reader," he says. "Out with it."

"I want to see him," you say, getting up. The cloak flaps around you in a very satisfying way. "Bucky. It’s early this morning, right? Just before the loop starts again. That means he’s upstairs."

"And what’s seeing him going to do?"

You ignore him and walk towards the door, reaching for the handle. Your hand goes right through it. You try it several more times, to no avail.

"Heaven help me," Strange mutters behind you.

Shutting your eyes, you take a deep breath. The circle of green tingles around your wrist.

Then, you walk through the closed door.

You fully expect to crash into the wood head first, but instead you feel the door moving through your noncorporeal form, and then you’re standing on the other side.

With a startled hum, you turn left, not waiting to see if you’re being followed.

You only hesitate in front of Bucky’s bedroom door. You’ve never actually been inside his room since he’s moved in; well, apart from that time he patched up your feet and you woke up in the astral plane for the first time. It feels odd to consider entering without him actually being aware of it.

Then again, there’s quite a few things at this point that he’s unaware of.

Before you can make up your mind, the door swings open just a little, and you automatically take a step back. Alpine sleepily slinks through the gap and trots off in the direction you came from, probably to sit in the kitchen and mope until FRIDAY activates the food dispenser again. On the stairs, she passes Strange who raises an eyebrow at you.

"Changed your mind?"

You glance into the room.

At first, you can’t find him. The bedding looks untouched, and there’s a brief flurry of panic that makes you step inside before you can keep questioning yourself.

Bucky is lying on the floor next to the bed, his hands balled tightly into an old throw blanket. It’s haphazardly draped across his torso, like he’s been trying to wriggle free during the night. He grimaces in his sleep.

Try the floor.

You can’t help but wonder when he’s last tried the bed.

"Can he hear us?" you ask quietly, not needing to look over your shoulder as you sink to the floor next to Bucky.

"No," Strange says. "Not until you put in a lot more work."

"Would he remember if I did?"

"I don’t know."

You do look back at him, then. "You know, considering your position you don’t know a whole lot of things."

You concentrate on your own hand until you’re starting to feel cool metal underneath your fingertips, ignoring the throbbing of your head. Carefully, you touch the crease between his brows, smoothing it out tenderly.

Bucky sighs a little in his sleep, but doesn’t stir. Doesn’t stop quietly murmuring in his dreams.

"You feel better?" Strange asks.

"Not really." You’ve already reached out to him without it having any repercussions too many times. "But that wasn’t the point."

"What was?"

"Just …"

Comfort. He brings you comfort, even when he doesn’t know it. It’s the same reason you keep waiting for him to arrive in the gym in the mornings, even though you could probably hurry up and miss him.

Even if the loop never ends, it’s still good to see that it’s bringing him back like it’s supposed to.

How incredibly selfish, you think as you continue looking at Bucky and letting a quiet, hesitant wash of calm come over you.

And then, all of a sudden, his eyes open.

You flinch backwards, but even though you’re almost face to face, he seems to stare right through you, his breaths heavy.

"Did I do something?" you say quietly.

"No," Strange answers. "This is just when he wakes up."

You watch as Bucky drags a hand over his face and then gets up with a determined tick in his jaw, grabbing a notebook from the nightstand. He scribbles something down, hastily, like it’s threatening to get away from him if he doesn’t hurry. You don’t have to read it to know it has something to do with what he’s seen in his sleep.

When the words stop flowing, he sits on the edge of the bed for a minute longer, but the tension doesn’t leave his shoulders. Finally, he rolls his left arm a few times before pulling on a shirt and his running shoes.

He always goes for a run in the morning. You’ve made fun of him for it before, but you hadn’t put together that while Strange was trying to get you to clear your own head through sitting still, Bucky might be doing the exact opposite to get the same result.

The door clicks shut.

"Are we done with the spying, then?" Strange says.

"No need to get weird about it," you mumble and take his outstretched hand.

***

Something changes once you know that your situation actually has an end date, even though Strange either cannot or will not tell you how many more loops you’re going to have to go through until then. Even so, there’s a new assurance to your every step again, a determination grown from the knowledge that all this isn’t for nothing. That there is an out.

You can cling to that.

"What would you do if you were stuck in a time loop?" you ask, letting your legs dangle over the ledge of the roof.

"Ew, no," Lucy replies, shaking the few remaining ice cubes in her cup emphatically. "My shift was long enough as is, and I’ve been looking forward to my Sunday off all week."

"Fair point," you concede.

It’s early afternoon then, and you’ve found a quiet spot on the top of the Tower. If Lucy was at all confused why you’d shown up at the store right when she clocked out and asked her to hang out, she’s not showing it. Over the past couple of loops, you’ve learned that she really likes to go with the flow, and you appreciate that.

"If it’s not today, though," she continues, like she’s thinking aloud. "Imagine the books you could read. You could try out all that stuff that you say you want to do, and then you never have the time to actually do them."

It’s a good thought, but a lack of time has never really been an issue for you. "Nothing you do would really stick, though."

She squints against the sun. "You realize that’s a pro, right? No consequences whatsoever. I could cut my bangs again and they’d be gone the next day."

"You used to have bangs?"

"Never, and I’m willing to state that in a court of law."

You smile and lean back on your elbows. "If something good happened, that’d be gone, too, though. You don’t get to keep that, either."

"Yeah," Lucy says thoughtfully. "I’d still remember it though, right? It still happened. I could make it happen again."

"Maybe." Your thumb scratches the empty space on your pinkie. Even though you’ve turned your entire bathroom upside down, your ring is still gone, like it just up and disappeared from this reality. You can’t help but wonder if that rift in the sky from a few todays ago has anything to do with that.

"What about you?"

"Hm?"

Lucy takes another slurping sip from her almost empty cup. "What would you do in a time loop?"

You can’t help but laugh. "I’d try to keep making the good things happen, I guess."

"Sounds like a lot of work."

It is.

"Are you out of your damn mind?" someone shouts behind you. "It’s in the fricking nineties today and you’re baking?"

"Technically, we are baking," you say, nodding at Lucy and leaning back further so you can look at Sam upside down. "And we’re baking for you."

"Hi, cap," Lucy says, pulling her sunglasses off.

"Hey." Sam crosses his arms and fixes you with a very cap-like glare. "Why are you baking for me."

"Y/N said it’s for your birthday."

"My—" He cuts himself off, rubbing his temples. "My birthday’s in September."

"Whoops," you say, your grin just believable enough. "My bad, cap."

"You’re not funny," Sam says, "I hope you know that."

You know.

Of course, today isn’t actually his birthday, not even if time were allowed to pass normally. It is day forty-fucking-nine of the loop, though, which makes it your fiftieth time living through this crap and frankly, you all deserve some damn pie.

It’s not going to make a difference in the long run, of course, and yet you can’t help but feel like keeping count of those little markers of time helps to hold your head above water. Making the good things happen, even if they don’t change a thing and no one but you is going to remember.

So you simply say, "It’s turtle pie," because you know that it’s Sam’s favorite. "Hey, what’s the time?"

"Oh, it better be," he says, holding his phone up for you to read and then marching out of your field of vision.

Sadly, you’re just about a minute early.

"He could’ve stayed," Lucy says when you let out a frustrated huff.

"He has that thing at the Garden," you tell her distractedly, taking a mental note to stall Sam a little longer next time.

"There you are."

You flinch at the sound of Bucky’s voice, barely daring to move your head when he sits next to you, his back to the brink.

He never comes up here. That’s the whole point.

"Hi?" you say carefully, and a grin tugs at his mouth.

"Not you," he says, nodding to the ground in front of him.

You turn around fully to find Alpine taking a nap just a few feet behind you, her snowy tail wrapped around a flower pot.

You let out a relieved breath and ignore the small sting in your chest. Of course he’s not up here because of you. Why would he be?

"Gee, thanks," you murmur, quietly shifting around so your hands are hidden underneath your legs. "You sure know how to charm the ladies."

You glance back at Lucy, but she’s looking at her phone, her eyes once again indecipherable behind the large sunglasses.

Bucky raises an eyebrow. "Think you could handle my charm, Y/L/N?"

He might has well have doused you in a bucket of ice water. You’re suddenly very aware of every single cell in your body, and you don’t like the challenge sparkling in his eyes.

So you do what you always do and you block it out. Dismiss and distract.

"Does Alpine seem weird to you?"

He tilts his head, his jaw tight. "Weird how?"

"I don’t know," you say, staring at her. "She’s just been acting … odd, lately. Today, I mean."

And following you around in a way you’re pretty sure she’s never done before. Not before the loop, at least.

Bucky sighs. "Did you make her scratch you again? Because I’ve told you before that I’m not getting rid of her for enforcing her boundaries."

"First of all, I never make her scratch me, she does that well enough on her own."

"That’s victim blaming," Lucy says without looking up. Bucky snorts and you almost roll your eyes.

"Second of all, she’s up to something. I know it."

"Oh, yes," Bucky says dryly just as Alpine makes a small noise in her dreams, her nose twitching. "That’s the embodiment of evil right there."

"I don’t trust her," you mutter.

"And yet the cat’s the weird one."

"I hate you," you mumble, standing up. "I’m gonna go check on the pie."

"There’s pie?" Bucky says.

"Not for you!"

You turn at the door to see Lucy leaning in to show Bucky something on her phone; the frown has disappeared from his face, his shoulders relaxed. If he’d pull off his glove right now, it’d almost be like sitting in a park.

That’s good, you tell yourself as the door slams shut behind you with a bit too much gusto. Reminds you that there’s nothing special about you in particular, which is much needed, really.

Can’t wait to punch that one out of your system later.

Again and again and again and a—

"Whoa, whoa, you alright?"

You blink. Riff slumps to the ground in front of you, body limp.

Bucky stares at you in concern, his hand still on your shoulder. His lip has split open and there’s the usual bruise already forming on his cheekbone. You can’t help it. Your gaze is drawn down, your breathing shallow.

You screw your eyes shut to snap yourself out of it, but when you open them again, Bucky hasn’t moved an inch.

"Never better," you whisper, and for a split second, you almost believe it yourself.

Liar, liar, liar.

***

At least, you suppose, reality seems considerably less broken these days. No more cracks in the sky.

You get your wake-up call when you wake up with a start to the sun in your face and FRIDAY …

"… FRIDAY?" you say into the silence of your room, your heart pounding wildly. This cannot be happening. Not now.

Not yet.

He got shot again yesterday.

A pleasant jingling sound rings out. "Good morning, Ms. Y/L/N."

You look at the clock on the wall. Ten to eight, just like every morning. "What day is it?"

"Today is Friday, July 4th."

You can taste bile in your mouth despite your relief. There’s an impatient thrum to the symbols around your wrist, like a noose that’s tightening.

What did you expect?

"Rise and shine, McFly! Time to get your ass kicked!"

"Didn’t you set FRIDAY to wake me?" you ask Sam as you’re climbing the stairs, nerves on edge.

He looks at you weirdly. "I did. You’re up, aren’t you?"

You bite the inside of your cheek. "Didn’t sleep well."

That much, at least, is still true. Full nights of sleep are a long distant memory from before constant back-to-back repetitions. The only time your body shuts off is when you manage to sleep for a little bit in between your astral visits and the mission call.

"I hope you don’t think that’s an excuse," Sam says, bumping your shoulder, and you manage a tired grin.

"You wish."

Today, you let him win, even though your ankle makes an odd crack when you land on the mat. You’ll take care of it later.

"You look like shit."

Grief and relief, you’ve learned, both taste like salt and iron, but the latter is so much easier to swallow.

"That makes two of us," you say, sitting up slowly. "How was your run?"

"Good," Bucky says, putting the cloth away and stretching his fingers out. They catch a ray of sunlight. "What’s wrong with you?"

Not this again.

"Later, okay?" you answer, because that’s not a lie. "Let’s just … not, right now?"

"Alright," he says.

And, oh, you want to tell him again. Because he doesn’t press it. Because you miss having someone to share things with. Because you miss telling him the whole truth. Because you’re scared, and tired, and sick of losing him.

But those are egotistic thoughts, and so you keep them all to yourself and take the towel on the right.

There’s one good thing about this today. You make it to the living room just in time to finally catch a glimpse of Sam’s phone right when it pings with Torres’ message.

I can check it out on Monday if you’d like.

That’s it. No urgency, weirdly proper spelling, not even an exclamation mark.

In other words, you’re not sure what you expected but you’re no closer to answers than before.

"What does it matter?" Strange sighs when you tell him all of this with a frown.

"It matters," you reply, "because if we hadn’t gone on the mission, Bucky wouldn’t have died that first time and none of this would’ve happened."

"So what?" he says. "It’s already done."

"But if I could prevent it—"

"It already happened."

"I can make it not happen."

"You and what powers?" Strange says sharply. "Even if you did that, it wouldn’t stop the loop."

"How do you know that?"

"Because you’ve already seen first-hand that it’s bound to you and your powers, not to whatever you do or don’t do during the day. Karma is a fairy tale for those who don’t want to take responsibility for their actions."

"Do you really still think this is me not taking responsibility?" There’s a green flare that goes through you, hot and seething and making goosebumps crawl down your arms.

Strange smiles at the sight. "Let’s find out."

He extends his arms and slowly opens his fists until orange symbols dance across his shaky fingers. The band around your wrist prickles at the weight of his magic flooding the air.

Strange’s cloak nudges you towards the center of the room and your heart gives a heavy thud. "What, right now?"

"Would you prefer being stuck for a couple weeks more?"

"Of course not it’s just—I don’t feel ready."

"No one ever feels ready until they try."

And maybe it’s because it reminds you of something Steve once said, but it makes you step up, falling into the stance you’ve practiced over and over again. You breathe in deeply and close your eyes.

The pull comes easier now. Your powers have just been resting, nestled somewhere deep inside your bones like glowing embers, waiting for you to call upon them.

When you look at your open palm, the green wisps of your powers have curled up to the size of a ping-pong ball. You take another steadying breath and let it glide to the tips of your fingers, carefully letting it balance itself out for a second before moving your other hand.

"Good," you can hear Strange say quietly.

Slowly, carefully, you let the threads untangle until they’re just about to touch the green band circling around your wrist. You can feel the electric tingle of it, the soft beat of each passing second contained within, and you push past it.

You’ve done this before, so you’re not surprised when you feel the energy drain from your body almost immediately. Up until now, though, it’s just been trial and error, not expecting anything to happen. This time, you have Strange’s magic feeding some of his strength into you as well, and so instead of hesitating, you press on, your heartbeat speeding up.

The band around your wrist does the same.

"Don’t lose your focus." Strange’s voice sounds very far away, almost warped.

Very funny, you might have said, but you’re too busy watching it all unfold.

The whirring inside of your head grows louder as the circlet of time keeps rotating with accelerating speed, faster and faster until your eyes start tearing up and there’s something that looks almost like a crack.

You gasp quietly. At first, you think you might have just imagined it, but then the split starts growing, the symbols growing farther and farther apart as the band itself keeps spinning. Your pulse is beating in your ears. Your wrist feels like it’s being set on fire.

There are voices, then, quiet and fast, like you’re watching a sped up movie, music and noises and chatter and birdsong and a whooshing sound like something flipping right past you. Then, something like distant shots.

I’m getting Bucky out of this, you think as the green band continues rotating until suddenly, there is a shockwave of green light that takes up your entire field of vision.

You close your stinging eyes, keeping your feet firmly planted on the floor as your powers rush through you once more and then, with a shudder, settle down again, exhausted. The glare subsides. Something like a trickle of sweat runs down your noncorporeal neck.

"Did it work?" you ask, your voice rough, not daring to look for yourself. There’s no answer, though. "Doc?"

Slowly, your eyes readjust to the gloomy darkness of your room in the astral realm. The only source of light is the glowing green band continuing to circle around your wrist, the rifts stabilizing again like it’s clicking back into place.

You swear under your breath and turn around to ask what went wrong, but Strange is no longer standing beside you.

You’re all alone.

***

Three, two, one—

"Iced grande extra whip caramel macchia—shit!"

You catch the plastic cup before it drops onto the suit of the business man standing in line in front of you. "Here you go, sir."

He grabs his drink with a grunt and hurries back outside. One of these days, you might ask him why he’s in such a hurry, but it’s not today.

You’ve grown to adore the noise of the pre-noon rush. The cacophany of the whirring machines, the AC and the people is just loud enough to make your head calm down a little. Besides, being alone in a crowd has never been easier than when you know for a fact they are not going to remember you.

The drinks are starting to pile up at the hand-out, and because you feel bad for your colleagues, you start handing them out to people. You’ve been here a lot, after all.

"Tall hazelnut latte for Misty!"

Plus, it helps to keep your mind from wandering back to everything that’s going wrong.

Strange still hasn’t returned.

The astral dimension feels different when you return the day after your experiment, like someone’s been pulling invisible strings to make everything just slightly more disordered and dark.

It’s cold, too. You watch your body shiver in her sleep as you wrap your arms around yourself. The books are still there, shimmering slightly with the magic they contain.

"Doc?" you call out, and the vibrations of this place hum it back at you. There’s no answer.

The book at the top of the pile is still opened to a page, as if it’d just been left a moment ago, and you pick it up. The words glide around like they are looking to jump back into an inkpot, and you have to squint to make out any of them.

Incursion, the section header reads. Result of a contraction in a universe’s timeline. Can cause premature disintegration or collapse of any one reality within the multiverse.

"Just great," you say, slapping the book shut again. "I get it, alright? You can come out now."

But there’s no sound apart from your own heartbeat.

Your noncorporeal head is swimming with pressure as you pass through the closed door and into the hallway. The walls seem larger than usual, the stairs warping ever so slightly underneath your feet so that you can’t look at them for too long without feeling seasick.

Upstairs, the air doesn’t feel quite as heavy. The silence follows you, though, lingering in the grayish morning shadows like the remnants of a nightmare.

Bucky still mumbles in his.

You can’t make out what he is saying, and you wouldn’t have understood the words, anyway, but there’s sweat on his brow again. His fingers are tightly clutching the thin throw blanket like it’s shielding him from whatever he’s seeing in his dreams.

You take a step closer to him, desperate to do something, anything, when you notice movement out of the corner of your eye.

Alpine is perched on top of the bed, complacently tucked into herself on one of the fluffed up white pillows like it’s really her room, not Bucky’s.

And she’s staring right at you.

You take a step to the side, then another. Alpine tilts her head, her large eyes fixed on you. They follow your gestures as you wave your hand.

A quick glance tells you that Bucky is still sleeping. You take a deep breath and conjure up a small dot of bright green light, letting it dance across your fingertips. Alpine uncurls herself in interest, her tail twitching.

"You can see me," you whisper, and the little spec of your power disappears.

The cat meows in disappointment.

Carefully, you move closer to the bed, reaching out your translucent hand until you place it on Alpine’s head.

She rubs against your palm.

You chuckle incredulously, scratching behind her ears. "You little devil."

Alpine seems particularly pleased with herself. She starts purring.

This is simply bizarre, you think as you continue petting her soft fur. You’re expecting a sarcastic comment from behind your shoulder any minute now, but it doesn’t come.

So, you lower yourself down on the floor next to Bucky, the tips of your fingers not quite grazing his arm as you swallow heavily.

And then you wait until he gets up.

It’s possible, you think as you watch him leave and then make yourself wake up too, that Strange is simply messing with you for the hell of it. You don’t like the timing of this, though. Your day still continues on and on and on, like it always does, but it seems just a little too pointed that this would happen right after you had your first hopes of getting out of here in a long time.

It doesn’t help that the reality glitches have decided to return with a vengeance.

Every day is still July 4th. You wake up with a start, you train, you get coffee, you fight over lunch, you take your astral visit, you go on that damn mission. It’s the details that start to get … fuzzy.

In the beginning, every single thing around you was the exact same every single day. Now, though, there are sometimes details that are just wrong. A different mug left on the drying rack. A mess all over the tables in the lab. Weird noises all over the Tower.

You don’t know what to make of any of it, and so in general, you follow Strange’s rule of thumb and simply ignore the things that are wrong one day and then right the next—which, thankfully, is all of them. You just go with it, telling yourself that this is simply reality malfunctioning a little, like a machine that needs oiling.

Weirdly enough, that doesn’t reassure you in the slightest.

But what else can you do?

You lose a few hours here and there, time seemingly speeding up at random sometimes now. One morning, Bucky isn’t in the gym like he usually is, and you work yourself up over it so much you nearly have a panic attack. In the end, you almost crash into him outside of his room, and a rush of reassurance floods through you with such force you can’t even look at him.

That time, Sam is there when Bucky gets shot, and it’s his cry that follows you into the next day. Your hands are clean this time, and somehow that feels worse.

Everyone’s back to their usual stuff again, and that’s that.

Another time, you’ve barely rolled out of bed and into your bathroom—"Rise and shine, McFly!"—when you’re suddenly jolted forwards and you wake up with a start to the sun in your face and FRIDAY blasting The All-American Rejects at full volume. Your stomach feels like it’s still turning, nauseous, as if you’d sat up too fast.

That feeling still leaves a bad taste in your mouth, sticking to the back of your mind like the blood you haven’t even had time to wash off.

The thing that demands most of your attention, though, is the pile of books waiting for you in the astral realm. Since you don’t have any control over the loop itself, you pour all of your energy into trying to understand the theory behind your powers. It’s giving you a constant headache, and it takes a lot longer than you would like to admit, but at least you feel like you’re doing something that’ll last.

Nothing else will.

There’s one last lonely cup sat on the counter next to your own, which signals that the rush is over for now. You can see Lucy wiping her forehead as you wave your goodbye, picking up both drinks on your way out and handing one of them to the guy just hurrying back downstairs.

"Here you go," you say without stopping, glancing at your phone. You haven’t stayed this late before.

"What the—" you hear behind you, just before the doors glide open and you’re greeted by the sound of traffic and a hot breeze of air.

If you’re lucky, you can make it back to your room without anyone seeing you. You’ve moved on to a particularly hefty tome about relativity, and you’d like to—

"Hey! Miss? Hold on a second!"

You look over your shoulder to see the delivery guy has run after you, cup still in his hand. His bike is leaned against a lamp post nearby, his cap dangling off one of the handles.

You found out a couple of weeks ago that he takes his break just after dropping off your order, but you don’t usually make eye contact anymore.

Now, he holds out his cup accusingly. "That’s my drink."

You smile. "Good for you."

"No. No, that’s not—I mean—how did you know it was my drink?"

And because nothing really matters and you really want to go home, you say, "It has your name on it, doesn’t it?"

You expect him to look at you with wide eyes, just like people normally do when you know things you’re not supposed to. His mouth will drop open, speechless, his frown will deepen, and you can wink at him and continue on your way so he can spend the next couple of hours wondering what just happened.

The cup falls out of his hand, but somehow he manages to catch it before it hits the sidewalk. When he looks up at you again, and his expression is unlike anything you’ve seen coming.

"But that’s not …" he says quietly. "Do you remember me?"

And then it’s you who’s speechless, because the shock on Peter Parker’s face is more than you bargained for.

*****

"Honestly, I’m not sure what I was expecting, but it wasn’t this," you said quietly, looking over the rim of your glass at the crowd.

"You complaining?" you heard Sam’s voice say over the little earpiece you were wearing.

"Not at all."

Apparently, people connected to terrorist organizations threw incredibly fancy parties.

You hadn’t felt this glamorous in a while, if ever, dressed up to the nines in a dark green jumpsuit with an incredibly flattering cut that you’d never had a reason to wear before. Despite your initial doubts about this whole thing, you felt great, for the first time in way too long.

"Are you gonna move any time soon?"

Well. Mostly.

At least Barnes cleaned up nice, you supposed; it almost made up for his grouchy demeanor.

With a sigh, you downed the rest of your drink and got back to work. You let the crowd swallow you up, seemingly on your way to the restrooms, and then you stopped it all to slip upstairs unnoticed by prying eyes and cameras.

You didn’t hold it for very long; you had to rattle some doors, after all, and despite your espresso martini, it was still hard to tell if you could manage several redos back to back. After all, you’d only been back in the game for a couple of weeks.

It took you a few tries to find the right office, and locating the files was comparatively easy with what you already had access to. There it was, proof that ULTIMATUM had managed to secure most of the Flag Smashers’ previous supporters as well as some high brow weapon dealers.

While you copied everything onto a flashdrive, your eyes caught one of the designs. You frowned.

Even though you couldn’t pinpoint what it was, exactly, something about it seemed just slightly too highbrow for an organization of the international bad egg committee that was supposedly still mostly underground. Your gaze started drifting through the rest of the office, noting the usual boring books and glass awards in the bookshelves on the far wall. You pulled open one of the desk drawers.

"You almost done in here?"

"Fuck!" You slammed the drawer shut again, getting your pinkie stuck in the process. "Damnit, where did you come from?"

Bucky pointed over his shoulder.

"Fuck me," you murmured, your eyes stinging at the pain.

Bucky looked nonplussed. "Can’t you just undo it?"

"Great input, thank you." The flashdrive beeped softly and you shut everything down again. At least you were definitely sober now. "What are you, anyway, my babysitter?"

"Wouldn’t have to be if you could check in on time," he answered, checking the corridors, then nodding for you to follow.

"Time’s a social construct," you murmured, but followed him, the flashdrive hidden in your fist.

You didn’t even make it to the staircase.

"Didn’t I tell you?" a voice said right before several triggers clicked and you both froze. "I knew I’d recognized that arm. And who do you have with you here, Winter Soldier?"

No one, you thought, and then you yanked time backwards so forcefully you stumbled into the desk, your heart still racing. The copy sat at 57%.

You felt almost seasick with the rewind, but there wasn’t any time. "Keep going upstairs," you said into your earpiece.

"What?" Bucky said.

"I’m fine. Don’t come get me. Just keep going," you gritted through your teeth, trying to calm your breaths. 70%.

"Exit plan C, then," Sam said.

Bucky didn’t answer. You looked at your hands. There was a slight tremor to them, but nothing too bad. If you could get the nausea under control, you could probably make it past the cameras one more time.

You should’ve eaten more.

As soon as the flashdrive was done, you ripped it out and forced everything to a halt again. Your palms were sweaty as you hurried out of the office and in the direction of the staircase, your lungs burning. This didn’t feel like a good sign.

You stumbled over your damn heels and the noise returned for that moment you lost your concentration.

Not good enough.

Sweat pearled on your forehead as you and the universe held your breath again. You could feel your hold slipping with every second that wasn’t allowed to pass. Time was impatient with you.

A small crowd had assembled at the bottom of the stairs. As you closed in on them, you felt a jolt go through you and suddenly found yourself surrounded by people as time attempted to right itself again. Your nails dug into the skin of your palm so hard you could feel yourself draw blood.

It went quiet again and you moved through them, almost blindly. Everything seemed to be spinning.

Behind your shoulder, you could hear several people talking, interrupted only by the world stopping around them every now and then.

"—d’you—see that—"

"—could’ve—sworn there—”

And with time stumbling and flailing around in confusion, you made it out of the building and into the waiting cab.

chapter seven

thank you for reading!! you can follow my library blog @intrepidacious-fics for update notifications 💚

#time after time #nika <3 #i am not okay #i need to go to bed

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mythicmanuscripts · 3 days ago

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I want to overstimulate aegon !

You and me both anon!! You and me both.

I've definitely written about overstimulating Aegon before because I don't think it's possible to write NSFW Aegon without it. Thinking about how obvious it is that Aegon would love that made me think about how most of the castle would be at least a little aware that you dom Aegon and that without you doing that he turns into a little terror no one can handle.

So that's what you'll find below the cut! I hope that's alright with you anon. If you or anyone else wants a more in-depth response about overstim then feel free to request it again and just made sure to add some form of detail about it so that I'm not just rewriting my overstimulating thoughts again. Enjoy!

Before you came along Aegon was definitely known for being willing to fuck and get fucked by just about anyone. He could have single handedly kept king's Landing's brothels open.

Aegon liked you from the moment he met you. Even though it was an arranged marriage and done for political power, he would still much rather have married you than any of the other possible spouses he could have chosen from. You were the only one who seemed to have a sense of humour, the only one who could joke with him and clearly wasnt afraid of him. He loved that from your very first conversation with him.

Once you're married, you and him both know your duties. You and him are to produce a few heirs, enough that there will definitely be someone to take over the iron throne even with a few deaths and then after that you could both sleep with whoever you wanted and you hardly had to even see each other after that.

You were prepared to do that, but you had promised yourself that you would not take it laying down (literally). You refused to allow it to be 10 minutes of boring fucking where you just wait til he's finished and then he leaves. Absolutely not. You were going to get some enjoyment out of this.

Aegon also expects for it to be like that, until you walk into your new shared chambers and push him up against the wall. And well... he is most certainly not complaining. You expect some resistance from him but nothing even close to that happens. You take control and he just becomes to pliant?

You have absolutely no idea where the man you had heard so many bad things about was. You had heard so much about his selfishness and desire and how rough he would make it, but you see absolutely none of that. From the moment you had him against the wall he was yours to play with.

You swear he was made for this purpose. There's no other explanation for it. He begs so quickly and so easily, wanting so badly to be good for you.

So of course you have your fun, and you very quickly discover how pretty he looks when he cries after his third orgasm. Poor little thing can't even get his legs to stop shaking.

And when you finished and you got into bed to let him cuddle into you? Well now you're it for him. He got completely wrecked AND he also got cuddles? Yeah no one else will ever be accepted again.

The entire castle is in shock for the next few weeks because Aegon doesn't leave for a brothel once? In fact he sent letters to three brothels informing them that he would no longer need his weekly booked room.

Things start to make a little more sense when they start to see you two together more often. Aegon looks at you like you hung the moon and all the stars. He's always holding your hand, always looking for you, always making sure there's space beside him for you.

It's very clear that you have a grounding effect on him, but what people don't know is how much of that effect comes from you absolutely wrecking him at least once a week.

You always know you've got to make time for that soon when he starts to get even whinier than usual (yes, it's actually possible) and he may genuinely cry if you have to go somewhere alone. Even when he is with you he's alls squirmy and unsettled, constantly moving around and snapping at anyone else who tries to get his attention.

You sort that out by getting an evening free of obligations and taking control the moment you're alone with him. Aegon needs to be pushed to his limits, needs to cum so many times he can barely even think never mind string a sentence together.

(You always start by letting him get you off, because you've learnt the hard way that if he realises at the end of a scene that you havent cum he will go straight into subdrop and feel like a failure.)

After that his favourite is when you sit next to him and drape his leg over your thigh to get full access. He whines and cries against your shoulder, mumbling broken pleas and cumming all over your hand every time you tell him to. He always cleans it up though!!! He'll lick your hand hand clean and then if you don't move your arm quick enough he will take your fingers into your mouth and then you're in trouble because if you pull away without giving him something else to suck on then he will just start crying. Poor thing is too fucked out you must help him!!

You spend the entire night and most of the next morning in bed with him after that. When he does emerge he's always in a much, much better mood and actually does all the things he's supposed to do.

#sub!aegon #aegon targaryen imagine #aegon smut #aegon targaryen x reader #king aegon #aegon x reader #aegon ii targaryen #aegon the second #hotd aegon #house of the dragon #house of the dragon fanfiction #hotd #house of the dragon imagine

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farmersfieldwolf · 2 days ago

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pokepoke-

is a scene that does actually happen, i have never been one much for action and so this is a lot of fun, it is pushing me in a neat direction to be boarding these and getting more comfortable with movement generally, and maybe ONE DAY CLOTHING (unlikely tbh)

i like these enough i will likely clean them up some and maybe give them colour, maybe i won't! i think if i finish this by tomorrow that can be the image for the chapter once i fiddle things into place; they make me happy tho, it's a lot easier to not do word placement tbh

but i like tomorrow's chapter a lot, i think it came out well even though it's sad but like... that's the whole thing lololololol

i really look forward to this demo having a full recording??

okay tyty byeeee

#haunted kitty filled with ghosts #cult of the lamb #cotl #cotl narinder #cotl fanart #cotl lamb #cotl fanfic #my art #narilamb #cotl narilamb

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thehelltingvilleclub · 21 hours ago

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Jerry Stokes - Champion Card Player and Professional Goober

Jerome “Jerry” Titus Stokes Jr. [10/02/80] [6'0. Yes, Bill is mad about this.] Secretary of Fantasy and Role-Playing Games AOL / Online Users: [XxLordxXxAtrocityxX] Theme Songs: Chronically Cautious - Braden Bales | Undone - The Sweater Song - Weezer | Polygon Dust - Porter Robinson Favorite Shit: Middle-Earth, Magic Cards, Percentile Dice, He-Man, Final Fantasy, Dragons, Tabletop Gaming, Conan, Studio Ghibli, Discworld, LARPs, Legend of Zelda, Earthsea, Yawgmoth’s Will, Gen-con, Xena, Aerith Gainsborough, Elfquest, White Magic

Therapy, check. Meds, check. Keys, check. Godsend Card Wars deck, check. EXTRA Card Wars deck in case some fucker tries to one up him, check... shit what is he forgetting *now*? It took him growing a backbone and his parents to finally get his ass to the doctor, but hey, at least he's here now, right??? right????? He's still trying to get Bill to come with him to the office to deal with his anger issues but it's like trying to climb Mordor bro; not gonna happen any time soon.

He's managed to make some new friends in the process, who knew?! Actually going to tournaments is so much more fun than just following Bill around all day--

I have the Power!

Jerry used to take Piano, as his parents tried to get him into as many extra curriculars when he was in elementary as they could to get him out of their hair (And.. hey, at least he learned something..?)

Because of this, he occasionally plays by himself on the practice piano he got as a kid, though usually it's just him learning soundtracks or transcribing the entirety the Ocarina of Time by ear.

y'know. normal everyday shit.

He has a habit of forgetting to trim his nails, however he keeps them relatively neat-- filed down and this dude actually showers and washes his hands like a maniac if he gets dirty, so it's not that bad. Plus, he's convinced it helps him pick up cards better without folding them.

Let's be honest, Jerry forgets a lot of things sometimes in his anxious scramble to get places. Including meals on occasion, which usually results in Josh jumping him as an excuse to get another snack for them both.

Would be willing to have his nails painted, absolutely, but will probably pick it off within the day as a fidget. Sorry guys.

Jerry met Matt at a Card tournament and they became rather quick friends-- and Matt whooped his ass when they played so he had to give the guy some props.

This dude gets the WORST bedhead and he barely does anything about it, just don't make fun of him if his hair is flat in the back please please please--

Jerry. Likes. Stripes. I feel like his mom dressed him up as the Girl who got sick with the Stripes once when he was a toddler cause he got covered in paint and it just *stuck*.

Jerry has also worn the same style of shoe and brand for the past 15 years he's not gonna start changing it now, fuckers

Can you tell he has a separation issue? no? then open your EYES.

This man absolutely gets ass his phone and aol are blowing UP like ALL THE FUCKIN TIME and he's so overwhelmed that he just ignores them all most of the time. most.

He ends up mostly subsisting off of tournament winnings and doing random odd jobs around the neighborhood, but at least it's enough to get him more cards and a bus ticket into Manhattan when he needs it.

Jerry still goes Bee-dee Bee-dee, he doesn't drop it entirely until post 2005-ish, when he meets Mandi. He DOES however, still use Buck as a nickname, cope. it's my world now.

cough uh he hates the feeling of underwear. those are basketball shorts. OOPS

god I love Jerry he's such a little dork

OKAY JOSHYBEAR IS NEXT Im gonna sob I also still have to draw May and Matt's cards...

fyuck

#the eltingville club #the helltingville club #eltingville fanart #welcome to eltingville #eltingville jerry #jerry stokes #eltingville club #my art #digital art #my headcanons #im so tired #eltingville oc #ugghhhhhhhh #scrawny motherfucker #gangle boy

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halloween-neko96 · 3 days ago

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TCF is truly nailing it with this.

It's also reminding me of Who Made Me A Princess Manhwa (not the novel version since I haven't read it). The MC read a novel that told the story of a lovely princess and got transmigrated into the body of the forgotten princess who died in the story. She thought she already knew everything about the world she living in right now but it turned out there were so many unknown and untrue things. Because the novel that she read had an unreliable narrator.

(Warning: Furthermore are SPOILERS of the whole manhwa WMMAP.)

The MC, the forgotten princess was written in the novel to have no mana or magic talent but the truth is she possesses a crazy huge amount of mana and insane magic talent.

The lovely princess who was the sister of the forgotten princess in the novel turns out to be not the actual daughter of the emperor but of the previous emperor aka the brother of the current one. She still has royalty blood but they are cousins, not sisters. The novel the MC read doesn't mention it at all.

The male lead of the story also doesn't get mentioned in the novel. And he is the reason why the original forgotten princess in the novel didn't possess any mana.

Another insane twist in the story (the manhwa version, not the novel version) is that this is the MC's 3rd life. The forgotten princess in the novel that she read? That is her 1st life. It was her wish and magic that rewrote the world and gave her another chance. The novel that she read was created by her desire and magic. That's why it has such an unreliable narrator. Because it was based on her and her 1st life's knowledge and feelings.

The romance between the MC and the ML is not the focus but the dynamic between the two of them is funny. They banter and fight each other from time to time. It's fun to read. He is also aware of her past lives which is the real bonus. Their relationship is building up slowly and it's entertaining watching them interact.

It's also amusing that the MC truly adores the lovely princess, her cousin, much to the ML's distaste.

Anyway, I think I have rambled too much. The thing is I love it when the transmigrated MC doesn't know fully and truly what happened in the original novel/game. There are huge gaps in information that the MC has to learn later in the story that changes how they see it initially.

These two are my favorite when it comes to the Korean stories with MC transmigrating into a Fantasy world.

(On another note: A crossover between these two worlds is fantastic as both of them do have canon dimension travel.)

(On an extra note: The male lead of WMMAP once tried to burn The World Tree like Cale's Fire of Destruction. The similarities got me cracking up. He also is the head of the Magic Tower. His magic capabilities are actually closer to that of a Dragon in the TCF world. The MC of WMMAP also loves money like Cale. She also almost blows up like Cale.)

Cale does not know everything

Why did anyone think he did?

[Note: There will be SPOILERS about the first part of TCF so if you haven't finished the first part or you don't want spoilers, I suggest you don't continue. Thanks!]

When I first read the novel, the most common mistake new readers often make was they all thought that Cale is omniscient. Yeah, I saw the comments. There were a lot.

I think, once again, it's because of how in most KR novels and manhwa, the main character usually knows the whole story of a novel they read or a game they played before they transmigrate to another world. They don't have all the details but it's more than what Kim Rok Soo knows.

Because that's the thing. The difference is that Kim Rok Soo doesn't know the whole story. In fact, he only read up until five volumes of "The Birth of a Hero" before he transmigrated in another world.

He, like us, doesn't know how the story ends.

I might be getting repetitive but the reason why I love TCF is because the author, Yoo Ryeo Han, doesn't share everything to us right off the bat.

They never info dump us with the whole story about how OG Cale actually made a deal with the God of Death, about Kim Rok Soo's past as an ability user, about Choi Jung Soo, and about the existence of the White Star. Instead, all these plot points are gradually revealed later in the story.

And I honestly prefer it like this. This way, we can only guess what will happen next. It's not a boring story but a mysterious one because there's something we won't expect.

The story starts with Kim Rok Soo opening his eyes in another world.

We are never completely told what Kim Rok Soo read before he transmigrated. The most he tells us is a summary and a few details here and there at the start of the novel.

We only find out more by experiencing it through Cale's point of view. We read his thoughts about the novel. And we follow him in his journey around the Eastern and Western continents.

But as mentioned at the beginning, he doesn't know how The Birth of a Hero ends. His knowledge stops at the end of volume five. Everything else depends on him.

But even before the war happens, there are already some hints that Cale doesn't actually have all the information he needs. He is not fully equipped with everything about the book. He, like us, is in the dark about certain factors that can affect his goals.

Indestructible Shield

When the shield was first mentioned, Cale questioned why no one took it.

'No wonder nobody ended up taking control of it. But then why would the author mention something that could be useful but was never actually taken by anybody?’

- Chapter 11: Picked It Up

It's odd because it's found in the territory where Choi Han appears in the beginning of the story. Yet from volume one to volume five, not a single soul knew of its existence.

It's the first ancient power he gets that he finds out because he read the book and he's the only one who knows about it. He doesn't know why it's there nor does he question it any further. His only goal was to get it.

It's only when the Glutton Priestess told him about her past that he finally gets the bigger picture.

The fact that this tidbit was shrugged off by Cale, and probably some readers, as something unimportant only to find out later in the story about its huge connection to the original White Star is just insane. And it's the reason why the books he read aren't informative at all. Because why did it leave out this piece of information if they want him to use it to save their world?

He didn't even know a single thing about the current White Star at the start of the story and here is a random ancient power sitting prettily in the Henituse territory that actually has a connection to the same guy Cale Barrow wants to imitate. He was utterly clueless like the rest of us.

I'm not gonna lie, I was shaking my head by how dumbfounded I was when I first read the novel. I was questioning everything I read in the early chapters, thinking if there's something else that I didn't notice (there were a lot actually).

The fact that the author gives us only a little info about the tree where the shield was found and its connection to the other ancient powers only solidified my respect by how good the author is at hiding this plot until the big reveal.

The Wolf Tribe

‘The novel didn’t say which of the divine items they brought.’

If Cale knew what the divine item was, he would be able to get one step closer to the identity of the secret organization. Unfortunately, the novel only described how the Wolf Tribe became weak because of the divine item. He had no way to determine the identity of the secret organization.

- Chapter 32: You

When Cale sends Choi Han to find Rosalyn and Lock, Choi Han returns with Lock who was about to transform into his berserk mode.

Later, Choi Han explains what happened and Cale realizes that a lot of things changed compared to what happened in the book. For one, Lock did not hide and fought back against Arm. Another is instead of assassins, the ones that appeared are official members.

For some, including me, this can be excused because of Cale's actions. He's a new variable to the story and thus, he ends up changing a lot of scenarios that happened in the story.

But, thinking about it, this is the only thing that is completely different from what happened in the books. Everything else is the same aside from when Cale is actively doing something like becoming a guardian to three kids or getting the ancient powers that originally belongs to someone else. Unless Cale acts, nothing actually changes.

There's the bombing at the plaza that also changed but that can still be excused as Cale ruining Arm's movements early on and them revising their plans.

Lock however, is not influenced by Cale. He could've stayed hidden just like in the book but in this case, he didn't. Arm could've sent assassins but they didn't. There is no reason for them to change from assassins to official members. Plus, instead of killing all of them, the wolf children survived.

This is not because of Cale.

So...does that mean that the book he read is not completely reliable?

Pretty much, yeah. Which already answers the question if he knows everything like a cliche main character does. No, he doesn't know everything. And the books he read can be taken as a guidebook but an incomplete one with a few mistakes here and there.

Let me remind you that this happened before the war started and there's already something Cale doesn't know or expect.

[Side note: I only realized this whole bit about the Wolf Tribe while reading a freaking reaction fic. If I had not read that fic, I wouldn't even realize how weird this one is. Am I dumb? Don't answer that.]

White Star

Another reason why Cale is not omniscient even though he looks and acts like it, is because he didn't find out about the White Star until the war against Arm and the Indomitable Alliance.

This man is like a god to his followers and allies and not a single person in Cale's group and even outside of it knows about him. Not even Ron, who has his whole family annihilated and later loses his arm in the process, knows about him.

Again, the five volumes of The Birth of a Hero never mentions this elusive White Star. The only reason he knows about this guy is through interrogation and torture. So when he finally appears in the Mogoru Empire, all Cale felt was anger and fear.

Because this unexpected factor is dangerous.

Cale knows they're completely unprepared to face this new player in the game. Eruhaben, an ancient dragon, was getting his ass kicked by this man who suddenly appeared out of nowhere and the dragon even told them to run. What everyone considers a very strong existence in this world is telling them that there's no hope in defeating him.

And the most shocking out of all this is that Cale never expected how the White Star knows that Cale and Choi Han have their "time warped for them". He knows something about Cale just by looking at him.

So the books by this point are basically useless and he has to rely on himself and others to plan ahead of time. He works extremely hard for it.

He has to dig information using his Record to find out about White Star. He has to talk to the World Tree to get the weapon to use against the White Star. He has to talk to Sheritt to know more about the White Star and his curse. And he has to find out from OG Cale himself on how to finally kill the White Star.

It took the whole book to finally defeat him.

And none of these are mentioned in the books he read.

So Cale, in conclusion, does not know everything like what some readers once complained about. He has some pieces of the puzzle but it's like if he needs a hundred pieces to complete the puzzle and he only has ten, then he's never gonna complete it.

He knew about the first five volumes and the rest were just him and his allies' hard work. It's pretty much why he's so stressed in the whole book, zooming around the two continents just to look for the White Star's weakness while also juggling different problems like more wars or the God of Despair or finding the earth attribute the White Star needs.

So yeah. Don't judge a book by the first few chapters and expect to know everything.

end notes:

Alberu better give him his slacker life when this story ends.

Nelan Barrow and the God of Death really made him work for it.

I'm not gonna lie, I want someone (Cale) to kidnap Choi Jung Gun and interrogate him about why the heck he didn't explain the important bits in his "guidebook" and why the whole thing about the wolf tribe became different from what was written. He could've at least mentioned what the secret organization's name is but he left it to Cale instead. It's just the name, CJG. Why are you hiding it? Is Choi Han in the books really that slow or what? If you want someone to save your world, at least send more information like the name of the secret organization. You talked about the Indestructible Shield's location but can't spell Arm? Shame on you, CJG.

If it wasn't KRS that was transmigrated and it's just a random normal person, that person would've died even before meeting the White Star.

Or maybe Nelan Barrow just wants to be an author like Yoo Ryeo Han and be all mysterious about it.

#tcf #lcf #trash of the count's family #lout of the count’s family #this is a reblog #tcf cale #tcf manhwa #tcf novel #cale henituse #lcf cale #wmmap #wmmap athanasia #wmmap lucas #wmmap manhwa #who made me a princess

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crime-scene-psychic · 17 hours ago

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I honestly think that the Nolan Batman trilogy was the best and worst thing to happen to the Batman franchise, because on one hand, it was the first live-action instance of trying to make Batman more gritty and serious (because while the Keaton, Kilmer, Clooney movies took the story much more seriously than the 60s television show, they were still goofy at times, which is why I honestly think they're the best rendition of Batman, because they were able to balance silliness with seriousness, which is what Batman is all about, but that's obviously an entirely different thesis) which then allowed for more people to take comic book movies serious, consequently leading to the rise of the DCEU and, obviously, the MCU (we would not have the MCU today and the actual good movies that came out of it without Nolan's trilogy, there's simply no argument there).

However, the Nolan trilogy also unfortunately made "dark, gritty Batman" the norm, meaning that once anyone tries to actually have some fun with Batman, they immediately get shit on by comic book dude bros. It also created the most annoying characterization of the Joker that everyone has been trying to replicate since and no one will be able to replicate, because they simply do not understand the character (I honest to God think the closest live-action actor who has ever made a Joker character work besider Heath Ledger was Cameron Monaghan in the Gotham television show, and he wasn't even really Joker??? but at least he didn't make it everyone else's problem and was a good mix of goofy and psychotic, not just psychotic) and will never be Heath Ledger (but they don't stop trying much to my forever annoyment).

And while I can recognize the cultural and significant impact on the comic and film community that Nolan's trilogy had, it is still by far my least favorite adaptation because of how serious it takes itself (and of course, the racism. The racism is actually the bigger one for me. Fuck Christopher Nolan for that. Ra's al Ghul is NOT a white man just because you want a plot twist, and you CANNOT just erase Bane being mixed race because you fucking FEEL LIKE IT because him being mixed race is extremely relevant to his origin). Batman has had serious moments in the comics, don't get me wrong, and I know things must evolve and change over time and that I cannot expect an 80 year old character to not be further developed throughout the decades, but it almost feels as if Nolan and Goyer (the writer) read a Sparks Notes version of the history of Batman, cracked their knuckles, and said "yeah, I think I got it."

Spoiler alert: they did not get it.

When I watch the Nolan trilogy (which I haven't in quite some time and I really don't want to, even to prove a point to people on the Internet) I notice how uninspired it feels, story-wise. While the action and cinematography is excellent, the story is lacking for me, and when you're telling a story like Batman, that has decades of content, you cannot just forgo storytelling for cool special effects.

I'd much rather watch a Batman adaptation that has the shittiest effects known to man with a writer who whole-heartily cares for the characters they're writing and has taken time to research. And that's honestly one of the biggest problems the comic book film industry is having now, both DC and Marvel. They're not hiring people who actually care about these characters to write them and they're focusing much more at appealing to everyone they can instead of who the movies should be made for: fans.

You're gonna have such a harder time convincing my mom, a woman who only cares about Wonder Woman, to watch the new Captain America film than you would someone who has read the Sam Wilson Cap comic run. And while this entire issue stems from the fact that the film industry is just that, an industry, and has become less about filmmakers making art and more-so how much money investors and producers can get out of ticket sales, it is still infuriating to see franchises you care deeply about be ruined by guys just there to cash their paychecks and be done with it.

And really, the film industry as we know it needs to be fucking demolished from the inside out, but that will never happen and now we're a bit off-topic. So, back to Batman.

I think another issue I have with newer live-action Batman adaptations is that they choose to forgo a VERY IMPORTANT character when it comes to Batman/Bruce Wayne's evolution as a character and story line.

Robin.

Since whatever the fuck the casting of Chris O'Donnell in 1995 was (why was he, like, a grown man?), people have been afraid to touch a live-action Dick Grayson with a six-foot pole (besides Titans, which I'm gonna get to in a sec). Which is ridiculous, because he is, like I said, an insanely important character when it comes to showing the growth Bruce Wayne goes through.

Bruce Wayne becomes Batman because he is so angry about his parent's deaths and the corruption of Gotham that he doesn't know what else to do. All the money in the world cannot change things for the better, his own father tried and died for his troubles, and he is left with no other option. Bruce Wayne works during the day to fight corruption via charity and his company, Batman works during the night and is able to do what Bruce Wayne can't (beating the shit out of people, mainly). The two are separate sides of the same coin.

And despite this seeming like a good arrangement, it's pretty obvious in most adaptations (at least they get THAT right) that beating the shit out of people in back alleys is not a good replacement for therapy. You're able to see the toll being Batman has on Bruce. He quickly becomes more occupied with being a vigilante than being himself. Bruce needs something to break through this internal struggle and help him balance both lives.

And so a boy named Dick Grayson comes along.

Dick's so important (and so are the other Robins, of course, but Dick being the first means I have to talk about him a bit more) because he forced Bruce to get his shit together. Here's a boy who's about the same age Bruce was when his parents died, who also just saw his parents killed in front of him, and is so full of rage he has no idea what to do. Sounds familiar...

Bruce is able to help himself by helping Dick. He gives him an outlet to vent his anger and frustrations while also looking out for him in the best way he can. While there are many issues with how Robin comes to be in various comic runs (and if this was real life it would be fucking ridiculous) Dick becoming Robin is extremely important. If he hadn't been taken in by Bruce Wayne, if he'd been allowed to let that anger continue to bubble up inside of him, he probably would have killed Tony Zucco and that would have been enough to set Dick down a terrible path he might not recover from.

The same goes for Bruce. If he were to set out and kill the person who shot his parents, he wouldn't be a hero anymore because that single event would shatter the entire point of Batman, which is that he is not meant to decide who lives and dies. If he were, how would he be any different than all the villains in Gotham that he fights as Batman? How would he be better than the corrupt businessman and politicians that he has to battle as Bruce Wayne? He wouldn't.

Batman needs Robin and Robin needs Batman, because they are yin and yang. Light within darkness, darkness within light. You cannot separate these characters and still tell an accurate story, it's impossible. I think that's a huge issue Nolan's movies have, on top of many others. You cannot accurately present to me a Batman story if there is no Robin, just as you couldn't give me a Robin story without Batman.

Every Robin is so important to how Bruce Wayne as a character is developed, and disregarding this as a creator is not only disrespectful to the character, it misses the entire point. I refuse to take your adaptation of Batman seriously if you can't figure out how important Robin is. He isn't just some kid sidekick, he isn't an optional side character, he is what makes Batman human. You cannot have gritty, Neo-noir Batman and forgo Robin just because you see him as the sidekick in tights. When Batman was silly and took itself less seriously, sure, there wasn't a lot to Robin nor Batman's troubling pasts. But now that you want to deep dive into Bruce Wayne's psyche and pick apart what makes him the way he is you wanna throw in the towel and erase the part that humanizes him? Fuck. You.

You can't make a complex Bruce Wayne and take away parts that help audiences understand his complexities, that's fucking STUPID!

Titans, for all its faults and problems, will always have my gratitude as it had the fucking balls to give, without a doubt, the best and most rounded live-action adaptation of Dick Grayson we have ever seen. Titans introduces Dick at a very important and rocky time in his character arch: him leaving Bruce.

If you're not in the know, there's a falling out between Bruce and Dick that's been written a couple different ways over the years, but all comes down to Dick being "fired" from being Robin and leaving Gotham. This is a bit of a newer story line in comparison to how long the character of Dick Grayson has been around, and eventually leads to Dick becoming independent from Bruce, signalling his evolution from "side kick" to his own hero, Nightwing. However, there's issues with Dick having to give up the Robin mantel, because it's something that is whole-heartily Dick Grayson. Robin wasn't something Bruce Wayne came up with, it was the nickname his parents gave to him. Even the colors are his, those were the colors of the Flying Graysons' uniforms. Robin is much more than just a vigilante alter-ego to Dick, it is the last link he has to his past and his parents. So when this is taken away from him and given to another, this causes a huge internal struggle for Dick, as he has to deal with the anger he now has for Bruce, a man he originally looked up to and idolized. This is Dick seeing how wrong it was for Bruce to do some of the things he did to Dick, despite at the time those choices being what both needed.

The way Titans is able to portray this extremely delicate time in Dick's story line in a way that not only makes sense for his character, but also allows for growth is really admirable. Like I said, the show isn't perfect by any means (can I PLEASE get a Romani actor to play Dick PLEASE) but it's the first time I feel that the character is wholeheartedly taken serious in a live-action setting. You can tell the writers have a better idea about how the characters should interact in a live-action setting and while some choices are questionable to me, the heart is there.

Nolan's movies in comparison feel soulless and devoid of all creativity and love. He does not care about these characters, no matter how much he tries to make you think that, and he never will. Christopher Nolan, you will NEVER convince me that you give two shits about Bruce Wayne. And if you, the director, can't bother to care, why should the audience? Why should I care about your adaptation if you can't even be bothered to put an ounce of individuality into it?

With Matt Reeves' Batman films underway, things are getting worse again. For a while, we only had to deal with the shitty Joker adaptations that tried to replicate Ledger's Joker, but with the Reeves Batman movies, the film bros are making themselves known again. I remember when the new design for the Riddler dropped and I said it was shit and people on Twitter and YouTube got SO PISSY at me and told me I just don't understand Batman and that I'm childish for enjoying the designs for Gotham Riddler/ Batman Forever Riddler and whatever and that I'm stupid, which none of those things are true, I hate to be confident in anything, but I think I know more about Batman than you do, Twitter troll.

The suit sucked and the character sucked. They just created a new character but gave him the Riddler's name. That's NOT the Riddler. That's honestly closer to Hush than Riddler, so just... do that? But of course, less people know about Hush than Riddler, and you're not trying to make a film for fans, you're trying to make money, so why would you ever be so silly as to do that! I'm not gonna talk to much about the new Riddler, just because it's super old news and it's not the point I was trying to make here, it's just something that continues to piss me off when it comes to gritty recreations of characters, because Riddler really never was supposed to be some Zodiac Killer wannabe, he's supposed to be a guy who leaves you riddles and makes you solve them and he's supposed to be a little silly about it. And I'm not saying you can't do a more gritty Riddler, because Arkham Knights did it super well imo! Just don't reinvent the wheel! Don't just make a new character and call him by another's name, that's a disservice to the character themselves and their creators.

This is a hard topic, because you have people who get the point of these characters (people who have actually read a comic before and paid attention to the story) but you also have insufferable film/comic bros who worship the ground Nolan and Reeves walks upon and who don't even take time to explore the rest of the Batfamily comics (his gang of vigilante children show up in the stand-alone Batman comics, though, so I don't know how they're missing this, unless they have the reading comprehension of a goldfish, which they probably do tbh). It's why I think a lot of these weirdos don't like Gotham Knights or Wayne Family Adventures, because they hate the thought of there being any semblance of fun in the Batman franchise. Not everything needs to be doom and gloom! Let Dick Grayson be bisexual and let Bruce Wayne have a PTA rival! You can have your cake and eat it too!

I know this seems like a silly sentiment coming from a person who just wrote an entire essay on this, but maybe don't take Batman so seriously? I don't mean, of course, that you can't care about these characters, I'm actually saying the opposite! I care very deeply for these characters, so much that I obviously spat all this out. I just think some people need to fucking chill when it comes to realistically portraying Batman. There's nothing wrong with taking a more serious approach to the characters and I have no problem modernizing them, but you can't just have action hero Batman, you have to have the human behind the mask too. And if you can't balance that, then I'm sorry, but you shouldn't be making Batman adaptations, because you obviously don't understand what the character is about.

I'm nervous to see where Reeves will go with the character, and only time will tell. I've heard rumors he plans to introduce Robin, I've heard rumors he doesn't. Either way, it's obviously out of my hands and I'll have opinions either way, but I really hope he has a better understanding of the history of the franchise than Nolan. While I appreciate, again, what Nolan did for revolutionizing not only the Batman franchise but the comic movie industry as well, I can still find faults in how he went about things. I truly don't believe we can have a worthy adaptation of Batman live action without Robin and without embracing the silliness of Batman's villains and I really hope producers, writers, and directors realize that soon.

Sorry if you read all that...

#batman #dc #dc comics #bruce wayne #robin #nightwing #dick grayson #christopher nolan #nolan batman movies #long post #sorry #but i had to say it

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thieves-never-say-die · 3 days ago

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if a leverage x white collar collab happened, how do you think each character would react to each other? would peter become another one of their fbi buddies? would sophie and neal compete against each other? how, in your opinion, would that look?

I think my ideal of what would happen is pretty much what I wrote in The Neal Caffrey Job, but I do have a LOT more ideas about possible interactions between teams:

Parker and Mozzie know each other from when Parker was younger (pre-Archie) and Mozzie took her under his wing to teach her how to be a thief (I wanted to include more of them together in TNCJ but it didn't fit)

Parker and Neal both tried to steal the same item at the same time once before, and fucked up the other's plan enough that neither was able to get the item in question (or one of them came out on top, leading to a lifelong grudge which rears its head when the two teams have to work together)

I do think Jones and Hardison would geek out over tech together. That's another thing I couldn't quite make fit in TNCJ, but Jones is the tech guy of the White Collar team, and I think they'd get along

Peter is too smart to get duped by the Leverage crew for long and (unfortunately) his morals are not flexible enough to willingly work with them, though I think El would be much more sympathetic and could convince him not to pursue too aggressively. Like, the Leverage crew would kick marks in NYC Peter's way once they're done with them and have had the big reveal, allowing Peter to arrest them, but Peter would never condone what the Leverage crew does, if that makes sense

I think Neal would want to work with the Leverage crew if he heard what they were doing, but wouldn't be able to help too directly so he does his best to help by putting Peter in the right place at the right time to catch the bad guys (Neal definitely joins Leverage International post s6)

I looooove the idea of Diana recognizing Sophie from her life as the child of a diplomat (yet another thing I couldn't make fit in TNCJ). I think it would be hilarious if Diana saw Sophie and got curious and went looking up a bunch of her aliases, suddenly realizing like two dozen famous people are actually all just the same woman

I also think it would be fun if Neal saw the Leverage ot3 being together and then looked at El and Peter with a little lightbulb moment

Ok last thing to consider: Sarah moves to London at the end of s4. We know that Astrid Pickford (Sophie's step daughter) is an Interpol agent, presumably based in London. I think they would have a lot in common, and they should definitely meet up for drinks and talk about the thieves in their lives and about how they both had to put aside their morals a bit to make sure the right thing got done and then make out about it

#sappholily #ask #thanks for the ask!#m speaks #leverage #white collar #crossover #I could go on all day about the crossover potential between these two teams #can you tell #also someone please write a sara/astrid #I need it

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lavender-butterfly-cookie · 2 days ago

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I literally made a post on Tumblr about this idea but thought I'd actually share it here but decided to make a more special version:

The y/ns one day going into a throw down to see who is the best y/n...the superior y/n...like the embodiment of the song 'the ultimate showdown'...Or, if you want another version I think is also super fun...'the ultimate smash bros' lol...

And can imagine the cookies standing idly by in shock as they see things like streamer cookie throwing a left hook at alien y/n or entity y/n going John Cena on timid y/n...oooor the cookies, when they notice the y/n show down, start trying to stop it, loving all the y/ns and not wanting them to destroy each other lol!

Decided to write this bonus with the version where cookie are trying to stop the fight...just various scenarios that are happening all at once because of the number of y/ns lol:

Entity, in a tree about to jump from it elbow first onto timid y/n: AND THEIR NAME IS ENTITY Y/N COOKIE!

Regular, seeing entity jump right at them: OH DEAR WITCHES-

pure vanilla, quickly running up to push timid y/n out of the way and then catch entity so they don't take fall damage: BOTH OF YOU, STOP! WE LOVE YOU EQUALLY!!!

Meanwhile:

Streamer, holding a modified keyboard to work both as a keyboard and a blunt weapon in their hands: LET'S FUDGING DO THIS!

Alien, with a blunt alien weapon: COME AT ME, YOU COWARD!

Caramel arrow: OK, BREAK IT UP YOU TWO!

Meanwhile:

Timid y/n and shy y/n...really not wanting to fight but know this is a free for all and both immediately think the other is gonna kick their butt: .....

Both immediately start crying.

Cream ferret rushes up, trying to calm them both down: shh shh it's OK you don't have to fight, let's go for hot chocolate instead...doesn't that sound nicer?

They both go off with cream ferret.

Just pure chaos heh...sorry if this idea sounds stupid just with the y/n tag having so many different kinds of y/n cookies...having a creative mind and listening to these songs all combined really makes ya think XD

Let's- Lemme just list how many Y/N cookies I've made just to be sure what I'm getting into=

Ancient Y/N- virtue of patience

Beast Y/N- Shadow of wrath

Child ancient Y/N- Virtue of innocence

Child beast Y/N- Shadow of grief

Male batman Y/N

Entity Y/N

Alien Y/N- (No stories on them yet)

Robot Y/N

Streamer Y/N

Timid Y/N

Shy Y/N

Ghost Y/N

Merchant Y/N

Isekai'd Y/N

Baker Y/N

Tarzan Y/N

Child of White Lily cookie Y/N

Yeah- I'm gonna figure out how to do all of them T T oh boy-

Y/N cookie showdown!

On a random day of a random week on a random month in a random year, the Y/N cookies found themselves in a predicament. They wanted to be the best Y/N cookie. But what happens when everyone wants to be the best? They argue and fight to claim that title. And unfortunately for the cookies, these 17 cookies were no different.

Ancient Y/N cookie and Beast Y/N cookie are trying to stangle each other

Ancient Y/N: DIE, FOWL BEAST!

Beast Y/N: TASTE MY WRATH, STUPID COPY!!!!

Pure Vanilla cookie and Shadow Milk cookie are tying their hardest to pull the two apart.

The Children aren't exactly any better, even if they aren't fighting physically since Mystic Flour cookie and White Lily cookie are holding them back.

Ancient child Y/N: Crybaby!

Beast child Y/N: Goody two shoes!

Both stop talking for a moment, before crying to the adults.

Both: They were being mean to me!

Mystic Flour cookie: There there,

White Lily cookie: It's ok little one.

Male Batman Y/N: *Holding merchant Y/N in a choke hold* Admit your defeat!

Merchant Y/N: *Wheezing* Over my dead body!

Male Batman Y/N: That can be arranged!

Black Raisin cookie: *Trying to push them apart* No! Stop fighting! I love you both too much to lose any of you! Stop!

Streamer Y/N: *Hitting Alien Y/N with their keyboard* Be gone!

Alien Y/N: *Behind a shield* Like your father?!

Caramel Arrow cookie: No no- no insults! Stop fighting before any of you get hurt!

Robot Y/N: *Trying to shoot entity Y/N* STOP MOVING SO I CAN ELIMINATE YOU!!!

Entity Y/N: *Moving in all kinds of inhumane ways* MAKE ME, METAL HEAD!

Agent Jjajang cookie: No- don't taunt each other! Just behave for witches sake!!!

Baker Y/N: *The only sensible one at the moment* Guys- there isn't a best Y/N, stop fighting-

Ghost Y/N and Isekai'd Y/N: SHUT UP!

Isekai'd Y/N: I'm about to exorcise a stupid ghost!

Ghost Y/N: Not if I hit you with another truck first!

Pumpkin pie cookie: No! Stop fighting! You'll end up hurting yourselves! Please stop!

Tarzan Y/N: *Casually holding child of White Lily cookie (COWL) Y/N by their ankle* Hahahahahaha

COWL Y/N: Put me down you brute! Put me down right now!

Cherry Blossom cookie: Aye! put them down!- put- Hey! Put them down and stop fighting this instant!

Shy Y/N: *Thinking they're done for*

Timid Y/N: *Thinking it's over for them*

Both begin crying and Cream Ferret cookie rushes to them both.

Cream Ferret cookie: Hey hey, it's ok. You don't have to fight. You're safe. Come on, let's get you some ice cream and candy for the other two crying over there.

Both nod as they follow Cream Ferret cookie.

#crk #cookie run kingdom #cr kingdom #cookie run #crk x reader #I am not about to list these cookies-#shadow milk cookie #mystic flour cookie #pure vanilla #white lily cookie #cream ferret cookie #caramel arrow cookie #black raisin cookie #cherry blossom cookie #pumpkin pie cookie #agent jjajang cookie

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octuscle · 3 days ago

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Peter's body was his temple. He worked hard to make every woman wet when she saw him and every man freeze in awe when Peter flexed his muscles. And his job as a construction worker gave him plenty of opportunities to do so. Although he actually only used the construction site as an extended training ground for posing, and although he spent every free minute in the gym, he had a successful career, was popular with all his colleagues and had nothing to complain about. And yet sometimes he envied his colleagues who went out for a beer after work and stuffed themselves with fast food during their lunch break, while Peter drank gallons of water and otherwise ate only raw meat and salad without dressing.

Peter started his Friday afternoon with a round on the stationary bike while surfing Instagram. “Fancy a weekend of boozing and having fun without regrets?” The ad on Instagram struck Peter like a bolt of lightning. A guy with a paunch was standing at a bar with friends, his T-shirt wet from the beer flowing out of the corners of his mouth as he drank. Shit, yes, Peter used to fancy that. He really wanted to. He clicked on the account. Pictures of fat guys in bars, bowling, in fast food restaurants. Peter actually found that disgusting. A real man shouldn't have an ounce of fat on his body. But really letting himself go for once? Shit, that would be awesome! “Pling” Peter had received a message. From the owner of the account. “Peter, don't dream, just enjoy! How cool would it be to play a round of darts tonight and stuff yourself with chips and beer!” What the hell?!?!!?! How did the guy get his name and address. He hadn't liked anything or anything. Still, the guy had struck a chord with him. “Tell me more,” he replied. “Meet me at the diner, Lincoln Ave. on the corner of 2nd Street. 20 minutes.” Peter was harder than he'd ever been in his life. A weekend of fun. What could possibly happen?

Peter stopped the training. Chuck at reception looked questioningly as he left the gym after just half an hour of training. "Forgot a private appointment!" Peter called apologetically over his shoulder and held his sports bag protectively in front of his boner. Shit, he was really horny at the idea of letting all discipline go for once. The diner was a pretty run-down place. It reeked of old chip grease and cheap cleaning fluids. No wonder there were hardly any customers. Except for one. It was clear that this had to be his contact person. A fat, unkempt pig! With a portion of burger and chips in front of him.

Naked, flabby torso. shit, yes, that's exactly how Peter wanted to spend his weekend. He wanted it so much. No idea where this untamable desire came from. “Hi, call me Zac,” the guy said with his mouth full, spitting chunks of his burger around. “And you want to have fun for a weekend? Do everything you usually deny yourself?” Peter, who couldn't normally complain about a lack of self-confidence, nodded silently with a dry mouth. “Okay, I'll send you a link. Just accept it, tick both terms and conditions and off you go.” Zac wiped the remnants of food from the corners of his mouth with his forearm. Peter's cell phone vibrated. He opened the link. He ticked the box. He clicked on okay. He looked up. He froze.

Something else mingled with the smell of chip fat and cleaning agents. The smell of pure masculinity. Of fresh sweat. Of well-worn sneakers. It smelled like Peter smelled. He no longer noticed the smell on himself. But the man who was suddenly sitting in front of him exuded this smell in masses! Peter felt his hard-on. But his boner was… Smaller! Much smaller! And he was no longer horny at the idea of spending an excessive weekend. He was horny because of the guy in front of him. Shit, what Peter would give if he fucked him now…!

“Dude, thanks a lot! I thought I'd never find another idiot who wanted to swap muscle for fat.” Zac tensed his biceps. “So, makes you horny, doesn't it? Do you want me to fuck you? Not a chance, Piggy! But you can suck me off if you want.” Peter was in a trance. He didn't understand what Zac was saying. Why did he call him Piggy? Peter was still as muscular as ever. But fuck, he had to suck that cock. The place was still almost empty. Peter crawled under the table. There were puddles of chips and Coke on the floor. Zac pulled his boner out of his gray sweat pants. And Peter sucked greedily. The sweat on his balls and cock was pure musk. Yes, it was the perfect start to the weekend. He had never blown a man before. But he knew damn well how to do it. Zac groaned. A large precum stain formed in Peter's pants. And shortly after Zac had squirted his load in Peter's face, Peter squirted too. He had greedily swallowed Zac's load. A little bit still dripped onto his shirt. But there was still more on his shirt than in his pants. Peter was a wanker. Three or four times a day. His balls never had a chance to fill up enough to produce a load like Zac. “Good Piggy!” said Zac, ”Here, this milkshake is your reward, I don't drink that shit anymore.” And without another word, Zac got up and left the diner.

Peter was hungry. Hugely hungry. He didn't care about the stains on his pants and shirt. In fact, they had already dried up. There were a number of similar dried stains. Peter stood at the counter. Three bacon cheeseburgers, two large portions of chips with nacho sauce and a large Coke. That should be enough. For a start. The waitress asked if he wanted an ice cream for dessert. Peter asked for a large portion. An hour and three more burgers later, Peter got up. He stroked his stomach. He vaguely remembered the washboard stomach he had once had. A roll of flab bulged out from between his shirt and trousers. He wiped his ketchup-smeared hands on his greasy trousers. It was almost 5:00 pm. Time to get ready for bowling night with the boys. “Pete's Handyman Service” was written on his pickup truck. It had been a good year since he had started his own business. About the same time he'd said goodbye to the gym. Pete made his way home. Showering before bowling would be silly now, he'd be sweating like a pig again. But he put on a fresh pair of shorts and a fresh T-shirt. And grabbed the bag with his lucky ball and shoes. A glance in the mirror. Yes, he looked good. He was a real guy. Not an effeminate model.

It was around 9 p.m. when Pete threw his last ball. He was finished! It had been a busy week and he'd rarely had as much exercise as he'd had in the last three hours. For the rest of the evening, he was content to talk football with the boys, drink beer and stuff his face with nachos. And waiting for Mike to finish at the bar. Because then he would shag Pete. Mike was a really handsome guy. Actually straight, of course. But for some reason, which Pete was grateful for, he loved fucking Pete's fat ass. Pete didn't fight back! By the time he was lying in bed in his trailer at 02:00, his transformation was complete. It had been ten years since he had changed his life. Since then, he had been living on fast food and beer. He loved his cigars and chewing tobacco. Shit, yes, he was panting like a locomotive after only 200 meters on foot and he could only see his cock under his belly in the mirror. But shit, he had fun in life. His boys and he went bowling, sometimes they went fishing or football (Pete more in the passive observer position). And someone who loved to fuck his flabby ass could always be found. There were a surprising number of fans of his on Instagram and Gaydar. Tomorrow he would do the bookkeeping on the fucking computer. In the past, he'd had someone to take care of that stuff. But business was only so-so… So he had to struggle through it himself…

There was an e-mail in his inbox, sent at around 4 p.m. on Friday. Some shit with terms and conditions that he was supposed to have accepted. Probably some kind of crazy spam. He had a message from Zac on Insta. Phew, how long had it been since he'd been in contact with him? Must have been about ten years. “Piggy, I have to cancel our date on Sunday night. I don't feel like living without this body anymore. Have fun, you fat pig!” Probably spam again. Piggy, er Pete, couldn't remember a date for Sunday night.

Inspiration by @billowingpillowboy

Pics by @ki-kink

#male tf #muscle tf #reality change #inked man #ai image #fit to fat #chubby tf

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echantedtoon · 3 days ago

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Turbo/King Candy x Jessica Rabbit Like S/o Headcannons

This was a request a friend really wanted from me so here it is for anyone else to enjoy.

TURBO:

-You're a flag girl for a racing game similar to Outrun or Pole Position (both 80s racing games) although the big difference was that your game wasn't as popular as Turbotime so there wasn't really any reason for the guy to be jealous of the competition. At least not until Road Blasters but that's jumping the gun a little bit.

-You don't exactly meet each other until you finally decided to leave your game one day to go join others at Tapper's for the anniversary of Litwak's arcade opening or some similar celebration that many other games were celebrating. Of course your taller than the average video game women height and body type would turn some heads and the smaller racer was no exception.

-Dude literally has to strain his neck for a double take just to be sure he was seeing things from the amount of surgery root beer he's consumed by now. But once he confirms that you actually exist- MAN. IS. SMITTEN. ON. SIGHT!! I'm talking about the guy chokes on his drink as you gorgeously smile his way even if you weren't smiling at him, just his general direction, but it gives him enough confidence to make his move.

-He starts by buying you a drink, Tapper setting it right in front of you, before this tiny man gracefully struggled to climb onto the stool next to you slicking his helmet back like it was hair, and giving you a sly smile. "Hey, Baby.~ Are you a parking ticket?~ Cuz you got FINE written all over you?~"

-If it doesn't work out the first time be prepared for MANY 80s pick up lines including- "If I had to rate you from one to ten I'd give you a nine because I'm the one you need." "Hey. I'm writing a phone book. Can I have your number to put in it?" "Hey, Doll face. Wanna get physical?~" And other similar ones not considered cringey quite yet.

-He's pretty egotistical in personality so expect him to brag about everything involving him to you. His trophies, his winning streak, how his game's the most popular in the arcade, how he totally beats the Turbotime Twins in everything- Did he mention that he's also the greatest racer ever? He's trying to prove how much you should be smitten too often inviting you to come view him race.

-He secretly daydreams about you being the one that waves the checkered flag upon him crossing the finish line and plastering him in affection with him showing off to the world. Gold trophy in one hand while holding a beautiful woman in the other. Everyone knows his deep crush on you.

-Remember when Felix and Calhoun kissed and little hearts appeared? Yeah. That happens every time he thinks about you or he happens to see you in Grand Central Station or Tapper's. Other's make fun of him for that a lot and he absolutely hates it and denied it every time but everyone and their programmers know about his crush. It's super obvious by this point.

-If by some reason you do happen to date him expect him to brag about having the most beautiful girlfriend in the entire arcade. "Hey, Pac-Man. How's Mrs. Pac-Man? Guess what?! My girlfriend's hotter than that yellow beachball reject!!" You're going to have to stop him from opening his mouth before Pac-Man tries to eat him again and he was very close to Mario just goomba stomping him after he insulted Princess Peach/Toadstool. Please stop this idiot from insulting everyone's wife before someone punts him back to Turbotime.

-He's not picky about personality and would genuinely love you but he'd be very happy if you were able to knock him down a peg(he thinks it's hot his girl can kick his behind-) or two. If you pick him up he'll also fight against it and complain the entire time you hold him, but ngl he's actually very into it. He has a thing for taller women after all...Even if he hates it when you tease him or hold things out of his reach.

-However one of the downsides of you deciding to pursue the relationship with him is his jealousy. Doesn't matter who's approaching you, if Turbo's around he always gives them a death glare that can put Bowser's fire breath to shame. So some game characters might avoid you because of that temper. And if someone were to flirt with you- Overprotective guard dog with rabies he is. Don't underestimate him because of his height. More than once he's started a bar fight at Tapper's over someone getting too close or attempting to make unwanted advances especially if you had already said no.

-Don't underestimate him because of his height. More than one person has had a personal experience with Turbo turning into an angry honey badger infested with rabies as he was provoked. People have learnt quickly to not make fun of his height, and to not try any funny business around you. More than once you'd have to pry him off someone and walk away with him tucked under your arm screaming profanities like a crazy Chihuahua.

KING CANDY:

-IK he's just Turbo in disguise but his personality shift in his KC disguise is notable enough to be different from how OG Turbo would go about it. However like OG Turbo once he sees you he's absolutely smitten by you. Unlike OG Turbo however his approach to you is much more normal if by normal having a guy with Tinkerbell shoes shuffle up to you and tell you how much your eyes remind him of sparkling rock candy.

-Honestly this pairing gives more of the Jessica and Rodger Rabbit vibes. Goofy little man with a gorgeous knockout GF. His goofball charms and shyer attempts at courting you are probably what got you falling for this man in the beginning.

-Instead of eyeing your form like many others, this man instead decides to court you in the most cheesy ways possible. Bringing you chocolates and other candy from his game(it's not like there's a limited amount of it). Flowers (specifically either chocolate roses or edible flowers arrangements). Love notes, those really cheesy ones that don't even rhythm but they're so sweet you don't mind.

-Mans loves you endlessly and will spend hours just gazing at you with literal heart eyes with hearts popping around his head. Very sweet alongside being goofy. Surprisingly a romantic too. Offers to drive you around on the back of his car. Plans at least one date that has you both sharing two straws in one milkshake. If he's feeling really romantic then he gets you those Valentine's hard candies shaped like hearts or those red lollipops also shaped like hearts. He even dedicates his wins to you in an attempt to impress you.

-Speaking of- He's very much the Rodger Rabbit of your relationship. Always gazing goofily at you with a love struck grin to the point Sour Bill has caught him daydreaming of you all lovestruck with a dopey grin. He's a king so anything you want in Sugar Rush is at your disposal. Want a glass of chocolate milk? How about a front row seat to watch the races? Would you like Sour Bill as a personal servant? Sour Bill completely disagrees with that last gesture.

-You once agreed to be a flag girl for one of the Random Roster Races, ironically one HE won, and when you gave him a winner's kiss he's been begging you to wave the checkered flag at other races too.

-Very sweet and energetic. If his goofy antics aren't making you giggle or smile, he's always flirting with you with cheesy puns since he's a guy who loves a play on words. "Are you a piece of cake? Custh you're the scheetest.~" "What's sweet and curvy? A candy cane of courseth but you're better.~" "Your voice is more beautiful than golden honey.~" "Did you sit in sugar? C-Cuzth that's -...Gumdrops! Forget what I said." He tried being more bold but ended up becoming too flustered and couldn't finish that last bit.

-You're going to get lots of cute candy nicknames. Honey. Sugar. Honeypie. Gumdrop. Angel cake. Cupcake. Sweetheart. Sweet cheeks. Tootsie pop. When he's feeling more romantic or sentimental he'll call you more special names like My Dear, Darling, My Queen, etc.

-When you pick him up and kiss him he just melts in your arms. Giving a loud 'HOHO!' as you press kisses to his cheeks and forehead leaving him a bright cherry red and kiss marks all over his face. The first time that happened it left him just staring off into space blue screened but now he just blushes all over and this just might be his new favorite thing ever!

-If he ever proposes to you it's either going to be with one of those ring pops or with a gem made of the shiniest rock candy he can find.

#king candy wreck it ralph #wreckitralph #turbo wreck it ralph #wreck it ralph #wreck it ralph turbo #king candy wir #turbo wir #wir turbo #wir #turbotastic #turbotime #turbo #turbo x reader #king candy #king candy cybug #king candybug #king cybug #king candy x reader

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myriadparacosm · 3 days ago

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Black Beats Black - snippet 2 chapter 9: Blazing Star

because this part still makes me laugh

"How come you're so fine with it?"

"Wormy, shut it," James says with a scowl. "I'm starting to think you're actually plotting— are you?"

Peter throws him a flat look and glances at Sirius. "Why would I do that? I just find it weird that Sirius almost threw his brother in your arms."

"I can't just be a nice supportive brother?" Sirius argues but he doubts that Peter is actually trying to mess with them. "And I didn't throw them in each other's arms. I just saw good— opportunities."

"Well, you and Regulus don't really get along. Until now. And then Prongs is all— Prongs."

"What? What does that mean?" James asks when he sees Remus nodding wisely at Peter's words.

"And that's exactly why."

"Oi, insult me to my face at least."

"It's a compliment, Prongs," Sirius dismisses.

"I'm pretty sure we agreed that we never date mate's siblings. Don't you remember with Marlene's sister?"

"What's that?" Remus perks up at Sirius' gasp.

"Shut it!"

"She had this gigantic crush on Sirius."

"It's not my fault!"

"Meryl?"

James nods. "And Peter has always been sweet on her-"

He gasps. "That's not true!"

"Oh, you liar," Sirius hisses because it's his fault that it was even brought up.

"What happened?" Remus asks.

James grins viciously. Sirius kicks at the table's foot instead of his shin as he throws him a dark look. "That was the first time Sirius could sleep over, back in second year, and we had Marlene over with Meryl."

"She studies in— Belgium, right?"

"Yeah at the Naaszcademy. Meryl was pretty much always into Magizoology so she only did her first 4 years here, passed exams to enter the school and studies there for— another year, I reckon? She is doing a speciality or something."

Sirius busies himself with his butterbeer. Peter shoots him an accusing look, to which he replies with a scoff and foam spitting around.

"I vaguely remember her. She was in Ravenclaw, right?"

"She was. Wormy and I knew since we were children and he had this huge-"

"I didn't!"

"You let her do everything on you."

"Woah."

"We were playing healers!"

"And potioners. And tailors. And magizoologist."

Peter glares at James with flaming cheeks before turning on Sirius. "Anyhow, she met Sirius once when we slept over at James and Sirius broke his heart."

"I didn't!"

"You did!"

James shakes his head at them and leans across the table to reach Remus. "See, Wormy liked Meryl who was seduced-"

"I didn't seduce anyone!" Sirius exclaims.

"So it was an awkward weekend."

Remus chuckles, amused eyes pausing on Sirius as if it's his fault. "I can imagine."

"I didn't do anything," he insists with a scowl. "I was just having fun with my mates and she was there!" His head snaps toward Peter muttering in his drink. "How is it my fault?! I was only twelve! And you could have told her something."

Peter blushes and his jaw tightens in indignation. "Not with you around."

"Merlin, you're a prat."

"You're a slag!"

"Obviously nothing happened," James resumed. "Marlene got pissed that Meryl pestered her about Sirius and she made this huge scene after the break that no one is dating anyone's siblings because that would be disgusting. We all agreed."

Peter scoffs. "And yet you're dating Sirius' brother, hence breaking the deal."

Remus bursts out laughing at that and Sirius straightens in his seat to look at James.

"That's true!"

"No! We promised about sisters, si-sters," James insists. "And back then you weren't even talking to Regulus."

"Oh, this is such a low blow! You know it counts and we did say siblings!" He argues, despite the half-truth. At that time, Regulus had been barely on his mind. How foolish.

"Brotherfucker," Peter mutters.

Sirius slaps his hand on the table. "I should have tattoed-" Remus quickly hushes him- "that on your lying arse!"

"Regulus wasn't part of the deal!"

"He is my brother!"

James pauses. "Well, it was about sisters."

"It was about siblings!"

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fisheito · 3 days ago

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This was my introduction to bunny waiter eiden,which warrants a cut because I'm me🫢😑😐

I wuz screaMun because ppl weRE FAST ON THAT SHITE the dash was lighting up with eiden intimacy room details and i was Aghast LIKE NO!!! I CANNOT LOOK UPON YE .

I must RUN INTO TH3 QI LALAPP .APP. POSTHASTE

Oh got THERE HE IS . DIVERGENT DREAM? PLEASE ohhh look he's doing magic tricks just like he was just showing off to kuya in sleepless fun fair awww the continuity!!!-----

SHUT UPPPP I AGREE WITH YOU 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭🥺😭

So I FINISH READING the chapters that are released and i get to the Battle stages and OhMo what's this i see

Multiplier?+?+?+++!!!

Ohhhkaaaaayy that means i have to roll for eidento get my max rewards NoOooo;;; he's always eluded me I'm gonna lose all my comtracts qnd BE EMOTIONALLY CRUSHED 3 YEARS IN A ROW (ノД｀)ノ eiden PleaSe come to me i want your furniture my floors are barren i am in desperate need of chairs for my tables and your little nightstand of beverages PLEQSE. I HAVE SO MUCH OF YOUR FAVOURITE FOOD. PLEASE.

PSPSSPSPPSPSSPSPSPPSSPS

GasP NO...ITCANTBE!!!!

>?! In THE FIRST 20 PULLS. wsit who are u protecting what is the story behind your line--

MY NEW FURNITURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU BEAUTIFUL BLESSED GENEROUS EIDEN MWAH I ML OVOE U

now. what are you. Are you going to help me in battle what's your deal

Light guardian!!! That's cool!! Don't have a light guardian in my battle roster!!

Wtf is going on!!!!! This doesnt look like a set of pure guardian skills!@!!! WHATEVER! IT'S FINE! IT'S EVEN BETTER, ACTUALLY BECAUSE I DOUBT ANY REGULAR GUARDIAN CAN OUTCLASS SR MORVAY ANYWAY

Hmmm...... does that mean i won't really need this eiden for most battles? Morv has been carrying me and idk if it's worth it to build eiden to 3 stars because i only have 1 of him... that would cost a LOT of memory shards... :/

BUT EVERY EIDEN HAS BEEN SOOOO USEFUL UPON RELEASE. I CANNOT MISS OUT ON HIM THIS TIME!!!

CRYSTALS FOR YOU, .YMY LIEGE 🫴🫴🫴🫴🫴🫴 . Did i just drop the 5400 memory crystals I've been saving for years oh whatever i still have SOMe left

WAughH i NEED TO LEVEL HIM NOW I DON'T KNOW WHEN I'LL NEED HIM IN BATTLE BUT I NEED TO BUILD HIM *NOW*

MUST REACH MINIMUM TIER 6 SPECIAL ABILITY!!!!! I CAN (PROBABLY) AFFORD THAT MUCH I CAN BUILD HIM MORE WHEN I ACTUALLY USE HIM IN BATTLEA AA A A A AAAAAAAAAA WHER E IS MY GOLD I NEED COIN

AND NOW FOR THOSE INTIMQCYROOM BUFFS

Aaahhhh..... eiden is now the default face once i enter the Intimacy Rooms..... yes, this feels proper. Arrival of the king. Positioned Where he rightfully belongs.

Oh Glorb I FORGOT THAT GIFTING EIDEN PORTRAITS DOESNY USE ANY POINTS LET'S GOOOWWEEEEEEEEEEE

FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS SALTED AND SEASONED I nEED TO HEAR HIS 18 SECOND ORGASM NOISE (<- so the legends say.idk. i never counted. I should count now. what The FriauK wAS TGAT SQUEAK)

How did it only take ~200 portrsits to unlock all 5 rooms what have i been hoarding for why didn't the other eidens come to me SIR I'M KEEPING YOUR FAVE SNACKS IN MY PANTRY FOREVER SO YOU'LL BE ENTICED TO VISIT. EIDEN YOU'RE KILLING ME IM RUNNING OUT OF ROOM FOR MY OWN SNACKS BECAUSE YOURS ARE TAKING UP ALL THE SPACE--!!

5-room-buffed now. BReathes. ok. Fine, we're good. We're o k ay. I cant watch the rooms yet, though. Not until the full event is released. I need to know everything before i dive in. AAAAAHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHH I FINALLY HAVE AN EIDEN AT TIME OF RELEASE!!!!! A CURRENT EIDEN!!! HE IS WITH ME AND I'M NOT BANKRUPT! WWAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

..nd this is me after that whirlwind of emotion, which all happened in <10 minutes

Eiden put me in some sort of trance

Whe4rn am i.?

Why are my coffers empty

#it felt like i woke from a daze #saw depleted numbers all over my account #resources in shambles #i barely hesitated when ripping off a chunk of memory crystal for him #which is very little hesitation by my regular standards #can i guarantee that he'll be a good unit? nope #but the eiden hypetrain was too strong. i raised him anyway #i'll MAKE HIM be a good unit NOW #he's in my teams forever #he WILL protect people #his tagline will come true BY MY WORD #divergent dream #nu carnival eiden

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mitchywitchythings · 1 day ago

Note

Shoto with a s/o that takes care of their younger siblings, so much so that they call her mom instead of their actual mom and as Shoto visits her house more and more he sees they way they run to her and ask her for things and she takes care of them and one of them slips and calls her mom in front of him and he's just kinda shocked and confused on why the sibling did that and she explains that her parents really don't seem to care that they have kids and just kinda leave them to her. He also sees how she tries to balance school and her siblings and lets her just take a nap with him because he knows that she needs some sleep and is proud to have such a caring girlfriend. If you can't do that it's ok ❤️

How I Met Your Siblings

Summary: A summary of how Shoto Todoroki met your siblings and gave you a run for your money. It’s pretty chaotic but that’s expected when you have 3 other younger siblings who you take care of day and night without rest. The literal definition of mother.

Warning: Despite the siblings call you mom/mommy you are just their sister, Mentions of cheating but no actual cheating, angst with a happy ending, implied 18+ but nothing actually happened, OOC Todoroki? The cheating part doesn’t rlly make sense I just kinda rolled with it, prideful (Y/n)

Pairing: Todoroki Shoto X Fem! Reader

Word count: 12,000 words

A/n: Thank you to my first ever request!! The whole idea is so adorable and super fun to play around with! I loved writing this and NGL it wasn’t supposed to turn out as angst or this long, I just accidentally went overboard. ALSO IM SO SORRY FOR IT TAKING LITERAL YEARS TO WRITE! School had been holding me back for so long and my love life also punched me super hard in the gut and not to mention all of my personal problems.

1st Interaction: Todoroki Shoto meeting your siblings

“Hey, wanna come over to my house? I know you’ve been having a rough time over yours, with your dad being more pressuring with you after the sports festival?” I asked Shoto who was still keeping his books

Class had just finished, so it meant that it was time for everyone to go home. I stood at Shoto’s desk with my bag slung around my shoulder in a carefree manner. The windows to our classroom were open, letting the light from the orange sky pour into the room, a slight cold breeze was also carried in the wind, in this setting Shoto really looked pretty.

Looking up at me he spoke with a gentle smile, “Sure, thanks for your concern.”

We walked in comfortable silence to my house which was small in comparison to Shoto’s. But didn’t he didn’t know that because he had never visited my house before. While I only visited him once because his sister really wanted to meet me.

Unlike Shoto’s family… My family and I were in the middle class and they ran a hero support agency, building new gear to help heroes like Hawks and Miriko. You’d think they’d have a higher salary but unfortunately that wasn’t the case and so they work almost all day and night to earn money. Leaving me to care and fend for me and my siblings.

‘Honestly, they forgot they even have kids.’ I grumbled in my head. I sort of resented my parents a bit for that, work was always on their mind. And I didn’t blame them for that reason, I resented them because whenever they were home they didn’t seem to care for any of us.

No hello, goodnight, good morning, birthday greetings, or even congratulation on any special occasion. I could handle that, not my siblings though, I have 3 younger siblings, 2 boys and 1 sisters. All of them had unique talents and skills, all of which they wouldn’t have been able to achieve without my support. But still, I just supported them, they achieved it by themselves.

It hurts to see the disappointment and pain in my siblings' faces whenever our parents brush their talents and achievements off. And that’s why I chose to go to U.A. in the hero course. After I graduate I’ll be helping to pay and support whatever my siblings want.

That’s because my parents have to approve what kind of career we want to go into. And let’s just say, if my siblings wanted to have regular jobs like teachers, then my parents wouldn’t agree or pay for their college. And let's just say I didn’t want that for them. That’s why I need to earn lots of money and fast, for my siblings. And becoming a hero is the way to accomplish that goal, good thing that it’s my passion as well.

~~~

A sudden soft tune and vibration began coming out from my bag. I pulled out my phone, and looked at the dark screen with a picture of a young boy who had similar facial features to me. Seeing the caller ID, I didn’t hesitate to answer the call immediately.

“Hey, what’s up?” I asked, “Alright… Yes yes… Sure, not a problem… Anything else you need?… Alright then, love you too. I’ll be waiting for you back at the house and don’t take too long.”

“Who was that?” Shoto asked as his eyebrows furrowed in curiosity

“My younger brother, he said he’ll be coming home a bit late since his soccer practice is taking longer than expected. Also do you mind if we stop by a 7/11? He asked if I could buy him some onigiri.” I replied, putting my phone back into my bag.

“I don’t mind at all.” He replied in his usual monotone voice

“Thanks baby.” I gave him a kiss on the lips in surprise

“It’s no problem.” He smiled with a blush on his face, pulling me towards him by the waist.

And so we headed towards the direction of the nearest 7/11. Shoto had his arm wrapped around my waist in a very protective manner. Once we got to the 7/11, I began to go down the onigiri section, but I happened to pass by some instant soba noodles.

Knowing it was Shoto’s favorite food, I sneakily took it while he was looking at the slurpee machine in curiosity as if he hadn’t tried one once ever in his life, probably because of his father. After that I took some tuna mayo onigiri and other snacks that I knew my siblings would want and went up to the counter quickly before Shoto would offer to pay for it.

Mission successful! With a plastic bag in my hand, I waited for Shoto on one of the seats at the high table. Scrolling through my gallery, looking for pictures of my siblings. A sudden shadow towered over me, looking at my phone. Knowing who it was, I didn’t panic at all instead turning around to meet his gaze. I smiled and thanked him as he handed me a red colored slurpee, while in his other hand was a blue one.

”You never really mentioned anything about your siblings?” He questioned

I cooed adorably at that question, picturing my siblings in my mind, “Oh, you never asked plus, you don’t seem like you would hang out with kids unless you have to.”

“It’s not that I don’t like them.” He spoke bluntly

“Well then, not to worry. You’ll be meeting my siblings today.” I smiled at him, getting up and walking out of the store

“How about your parents?” Shoto trailed after me and headed off to my house.

I tensed up at his curiosity, “Well, I’ll see if they’re there. If so, I guess you could meet them.” Awkwardly sipping onto my slurpee while avoiding his gaze

He didn’t comment on my actions which I was very thankful for. We walked towards my home in an awkward silence after that, up until Shoto decided to break it. Asking if we could switch slurpees so that he could taste the flavor of mine.

I agreed to it and we switched up slurpees. Both of them tasted good, but I liked mine better. However unbeknownst to us, due to switching our slurpees. Our tongues that were supposedly red and blue, both turned violet. Something that would become very embarrassing later on.

~~~

We finally arrived at my house, it was a 2 story modern house. It looked really simple and cozy, Shoto noticed. Grabbing the keys out of my pocket and opening the door to my house, it was already around 5:30 PM. To my surprise both me and Shoto were greeted with a quiet house. We took off our shoes and headed towards the kitchen.

I was glad that my siblings weren’t causing any ruckus today but I was beginning to wonder where they were. We placed the plastic bag on the kitchen table and I stretched. Shoto had to go do a number 1, so he asked the direction of the bathroom. I told him the directions and waited for him on the living room couch.

“Hey guys, I’m home!” I yelled out, for the people upstairs to hear.

All Hell broke loose…

“Mom’s back home!!” Hikari my 6 year old sister came running down the stairs

“Hey wait up for me!” Hiroto my 8 year old brother tried to follow after her

“Don’t run down the stairs guys! You could trip and fall!” I yelled out, watching over them in concern.

My 2 siblings jumped into me and screamed out chants of ‘mom’s home’. I giggled along with them and had to pry myself off of them. Their hugs were like a vice grip, if I didn’t undergo any hero training I would have had a hard time pulling them off.

Directing them towards the counter, I pulled out their favorite snacks from the 7/11 plastic bag. Hiroto, the more introverted one out of all of us thanked me shyly with a hug while Hikari, the most extroverted among all of my siblings pulled me down to place a kiss on my cheek.

The door slammed open timingly to reveal my 12 year old brother with the exact same facial features as me except only more younger and boyish. At the same time, Shoto got out of the bathroom and entered the room who was still sipping on his blue slurpee. Only to meet Kaito who glared at him, while holding his soccer ball.

“Mom, who’s this?” He gritted his teeth, placing the soccer ball down to aim it at Shoto.

“Mom?” Shoto looked at you in wide eyes

“Kaito, stop that and I can explain everything to both of you.” I got up and ran towards them, standing in front of Shoto to shield him

“Kaito! Listen to what mom says!” Hiroto ran and tried to pull him away

“Kaito, stop being mean!” Hikari with tears in her eyes, cried comically

“Like Hell, I will! Who the Hell is this guy, with mom!” Kaito yelled, giving Shoto a full on death glare

Shoto was confused at your brother's actions, “I’m (N/n)’s boyfriend.” He spoke bluntly

“Mom’s boyfriend, like Hell will I allow that!” Kaito pushed off Hiroto and kicked the ball

All the while this was happening you yelled at him, “Kaito, that wasn’t nice! Apologize to Hiroto and c’mon please listen. He is my boyfriend and I love him very much! So please don’t kick the ball!”

I ran towards him to try to hold him back, while scolding him for pushing off Hiroto who luckily, landed on the couch with Hikari comforting him by hugging him from behind.

The soccer ball flew into the air with Kaito’s expert skills. Everyone’s eyes were glued onto the ball that was flying towards Shoto at lighting speed. I knew that I had no reason to worry for Shoto seeing as he’s very strong, but as his girlfriend and the person responsible for Kaito

I was worried for Shoto because I didn’t know what he’d think of me after this. Plus Kaito’s quirk was that he could control anything he touched for a period of time. This means that if you weren’t quick enough Shoto could very well get hit by the ball.

You activated your quirk, but Shoto was faster. He lifted his arm in front of him and aimed at the ball, which swerved to the left and with quick reflexes Shoto froze the ball completely, he bent down casually as though he hadn’t encased it in ice, he picked it up and began heating it up.

“HUH?!” Kaito yelled in shock, no one had been able to stop his soccer balls even with the use of their quirk except for me.

My siblings stared at Shoto for a minute in shock at what just happened until Hiroto recognized him, “Didn’t you place 2nd in the sports festival, just above mom who placed 3rd?”

“Yeah, yeah he is! He’s so cool with that fight with the green hair dude!” Hikari fangirled, running up to Shoto and hugging him by the leg.

“Ack- He’s the dude who literally obliterated his opponents…?” Kaito’s face became pale and he hid behind the couch

I sighed in irritation and walked towards him, “Kaito, that wasn’t nice. Apologize to Shoto then after Hiroto, now.” I said sternly

“Hah! Or else what?!” He replied in a shaky voice, trying to keep cool as he was a bit of a tsundere.

“Or else, I won’t give you your onigiri. And I’m not gonna tuck you in bed tonight.” He immediately stood up and walked in front of Shoto with an embarrassed and scared expression on his face.

“Mom, his face looks scary!” He whispered-yelled at me with a pleading face, asking for mercy.

“He’s not scary at all, Kai! He’s pretty handsome in fact, but pretty cold!” Hikari commented, while still clinging onto Shoto’s right leg

“Do it.” I replied back with a glare

“F-Fine… I-I” Taiko looked up to see Shoto staring at him a bit curious, “I’m sorry okay for trying to hit you with the soccer ball while using my quirk! But in my defense, you nor anyone will ever be good enough to be my mom/sister’s boyfriend!” He yelled, running behind the kitchen counter to shield himself from Shoto’s but mostly mine, gazes.

“That’s not what you're supposed to say!”

“Well what did you want me to say exactly?! Sorry for being an overprotective sibling and I approve of you dating-“ As Kaito went out of his hiding spot to storm towards you, he slipped and hit his head on the floor.

Shoto who stood in front of me trying to get me to calm down previously and tell me what my sibling did was okay and he was just being protective of me. I literally shoved him and ran to my sibling, placing his head on my lap and crying frantically. Looking over for any injuries or signs of concussion.

Shoto who stumbled back from me shoving him off, caught his balance and walked towards you. Activating his ice and inspecting the big bruise forming on my siblings head. There wasn’t any blood so that was good at least.

“An Angel…? No it's even better, mom?” He blinked, tears pouring down from his face from the pain.

“Yes! Are you alright?! Please stay awake, we need to make sure you don’t have any concussions! Shoto put your ice on him, please!” I cried frantically, not being able to keep my composure when it comes to my siblings.

“Did you and that guy?” He glared at Shoto though thankful for the icy cold hand on his bruise making it feel better, “Drink any slurpees, specifically red and blue?” He asked seriously

“Yes…? Why…?” My eyes widen in surprise and the tears stopped as well because of this

“I noticed them… And why are both your tongues violet?!”

Shoto stood silently with a blush while he watched me in slight amusement trying to explain why both our tongues were violet, “Huh?! It’s not what it looks like I swear! We just swapped-“

“Curse you peppermint candy! How dare you taint my mother! She’s still a virgin!”

“Kaito!” Me, Hikari, and Hiroto yelled in unison at him

“I’m glad.” Shoto added bluntly, making me dive my face into my hands in embarrassment

That was the first time Shoto had ever met my siblings and went to my house. After that, he began coming to my house more and more often. Finding himself liking it and feeling more comfortable there than in his own home.

2nd interaction: Todoroki Shoto meeting his s/o’s parents

Shoto was at my house again, this time he had already been here a few times before and met all of my family, except for my parents. Not until now.

Both my parents walked out of their office and walked past me and my siblings while Shoto was in the bathroom. They completely ignored us but in respect we greeted them politely. We were about to go out separate ways again had it not been for my siblings wanting their attention. It can’t be helped, children will always crave attention from their parents.

“Mother, look nee-san has a boyfriend and she brought him today.” Hikari said excitedly, trying to get a response from her biological mother

Notice how she said mother instead of mom. Hikari being the youngest one out of all of us, hasn’t really accepted that our parents don't really care for us. I mean we did try to hide it from her, shielding her from the harsh reality, but I think she’s starting to catch on.

“Is this true?” My mother gave me a questioning look

“Yes…” I looked away, trying to avoid everyone’s gazes

“Concentrate on becoming a hero and keeping the Family prestige, we’ve already begun to downgrade ever since the business wasn’t doing quite well with our competitors having more recent technology while ours has begun to downgrade. We simply don’t want you having any distractions which will lead to your downfall as well.” My father said sternly, looking at me intensely with tired eyes

“Who is this boy?” My mother questioned me crossing her arms in front of her chest

“I’m her boyfriend, it’s nice to meet you Mr. and Mrs. (L/n).” Shoto suddenly stood besides me which startled everyone, he gave out his hand for my father to shake

My fathers eyes narrowed as he shook Shoto’s hands making my anxiety rise to the top, “(Y/n) never mentioned she had a boyfriend, how come we’re only hearing about this now? Also how’s your father doing with him being number 1 now, is he interested in some support gear?”

“Aren’t you, Todoroki Shoto? Son of Endeavor?” My mother pushed me aside to inspect Shoto

“Yes, miss.” Shoto replied, slightly uncomfortable at the mention of the number 1 hero.

“(Y/n), we approve of him.” My mother turned to look at me for a second then back to Shoto, “Does your father or his sidekicks need new gear? We’ll be giving out discounts since you're my daughter's boyfriend as long as you guys buy in bulk.”

“Mother, please. I think you’re making him uncomfortable.” I pleaded, trying to push my siblings out of the hallway and back into their rooms whilst trying to get Shoto out of the very uncomfortable situation.

“Nonsense, (Y/n). You should have introduced us to your boyfriend sooner.” My parents began giving Shoto more attention than me or my siblings had ever received in our entire life.

“We should have a formal dinner, getting to know each other. Todoroki, you should invite your family.” My father interjected

“We have a free schedule on this Thursday, there’s a new restaurant that opened near here. We should go there.” My parents began to overwhelm Shoto

‘Shit! What do I do?!’ I screamed watching my parents like hawks as they corner Shoto, who didn’t like the situation one bit but still held an unemotional expression. I could tell because of how his eyebrows were scrunched up and his eyes drifting towards mine, pleadingly.

“Mom, we got this.” Kaito, being the angel he was whispered to me

Relief overtook me as I ran and grabbed Shoto by the arm making a dash towards the front door, “Thanks, I owe you one.” I winked at them

Not a problem, Kai mouthed back. Walking towards his biological parents, ready to deal with their lecture and scolding. Internally I was super guilty and grateful to him, he always had my back and loyalty. All of my siblings do.

3rd interaction: Todoroki Shoto getting to know Hikari

“Nee~ Hikari, since your older sister is becoming a pro hero won’t that mean she’s going to leave you?” A girl who wore the same uniform as Hikari spoke out

“Mom becoming a pro hero is the coolest thing ever! But I know that she’ll ever leave me and my siblings, she just wouldn’t do that!” Hikara countered, not liking where the topic was going

“But Hikara, surely you know how busy pro heroes are and haven’t you heard your sister is aiming to rank in the top 10?” Another classmate of Hikara with blonde hair pushed Hikari a bit, trying to pull a reaction from her.

“Yeah, I know about it and I completely support her! But she’d never forget us! She’s our mommy!”

“Hey, how about this instead? To prove your sister isn’t gonna ever leave you, how about you and your sister come to my birthday party next week, this Saturday? She can also bring her classmates like Red Riot, Deku, and Froppy!” The blonde-haired kid shook Hikari harshly and cornered her into a nearby wall.

In fear Hikara began to stutter, voice breaking as her eyes began to gloss, “I-I don’t think that’s a g-good id-ea… I recall h-her saying how she’s g-gonna be really-… busy with her internship…!”

Turning on her quirk, the blonde kid got into a fighting position, “Look, I don’t care about that. Figure something out or else I’ll ruin your reputation and no one will want to be friends with you. I can assure you, you’ll be completely alone like a loser!”

“Stop it! You’re scaring me!” Hikara began to cry as she cowered into the corner wishing that her mom was there to comfort her.

“Look, she’s crying!”

“She’s going to go back crying to her sister!”

“Why’d you even call your sister mom again?!”

“That’s because her real mom doesn’t care for her!”

“You’re such a loser!”

“The only thing cool about you is your sister!”

“And you said you wanted to become a pro hero like your sister! Yet you can’t even defend yourself, how much more other people!”

The six girls began to circle Hikara like vultures about to pounce on their prey while they chanted words of insult towards Hikari. They activated their quirk and were about to use them when suddenly Shoto, who was heading towards the direction of your house, just happened to walk by what was happening.

He immediately recognized Hikara’s terrified voice and immediately intervened. Speaking sternly in a low and scary voice while glaring at the girls to get out, not before apologizing to Hikari. In response to Shoto’s scary face they jumped, apologizing to Hikari then running away from the scene.

“Stupid kids…” Shoto mumbled under his breath, “Are you alright? Do you have any injuries? Please stop crying. I've already dealt with your classmates.” Shoto grimaced, not really sure what to do about his girlfriend's crying sister.

“I was s-so scared!” The little girl ran into Shoto’s arms, hugging him in comfort

“Please calm down.” Kind of flustered at the situation, he awkwardly patted the girl on the head, hugging her back stiffly.

“T-Thank you, Todoroki…” Shoto’s heart warmed at that, your sister really was polite and adorable.

“No problem, if you ever need any help. I’m always here for your family.” He gave the girl a small smile as she began to finally calm down, “We should inform your sister about this as well, are you alright with that?”

“N-No… I don’t want mom to worry or have any more burdens…” Hikara tightened the hug

“You know you’re not a burden, especially towards your sister. I’m sure she’ll feel glad that you’re being open towards her.”

“Mom is taking care of us already, that’s more than enough. Please don’t tell her, I’m begging you.” She clutched onto his hand, giving him the best puppy eyes she could muster up.

“Alright, I respect your wishes. I won’t tell your sister but please try to be more open to her. What happened back there was really serious.” He sighed, slightly frustrated that he couldn’t tell you since it was about your sister whom he knew you cared greatly about

“It’s okay, it was my fault after all…”

Shoto doubted that, he couldn’t see everything that happened; he only got to the part where they ganged up on her, “How come?”

“They wanted me to bring mom and her friends to Misturi’s birthday next week. But I can’t because you guys have internships next week! So I told them about that and they didn’t like it! I’m sure I have no friends anymore and that I’m uninvited to her birthday!” The little girl huffed and began crying again

Shoto sighed at her explanation, “Listen, Hikari… None of it is your fault and based on what you just told me. None of them were your true friends to begin with. I guess they only like you because (Y/n) is becoming a hero. But that’s fine because not everyone is gonna like us or be nice to us. Some people use us for their own gain and that’s fine because we just have to distinguish those people and we’re also not alone. We have other people who’ll help us no matter what, the right person will come at the right time. And they won’t use us, they’ll stay by our side and those people are our real friends, and it doesn’t matter if those people are our family or outside of our family as regardless they’re our real friends and you can even consider them as your own family. Do you get me?” He hugged the little girl who reminded him so much of you as he gave a speech

“Hmm, I see… Thank you…” The girl hummed in response to Shoto’s little speech, “Can we still not tell my mommy about this though? She’s already stressed out as much as it is and I just want to forget about this. Can you p-promise me?” She sniffled as she held out her pink for him to take.

“… I promise.” Shoto didn’t like keeping secrets from you but she respected your sister's wish and so he’ll uphold it, “Hop on my back, I’m sure you’re tired so I’ll carry you home while you sleep.”

“Alright, thanks.” It didn’t took long before the child fell asleep on him

Walking back home, Shoto was slightly amused and worried about how frantic and panicked you looked when you realized your little sister hadn't returned home until you saw her fast asleep on Shoto’s back. The relief that flooded your eyes when you saw that she was safe and sound. Tears almost poured out even, you helped Shoto settle her onto her bed, to continue letting her sleep in peace.

“Thank you Shoto, I thought something had happened to her!” I cried into his arms the moment we stepped out of Hikari’s room, “I don’t know what I would’ve done!”

“Shh… It’s alright, nothing gonna happen while I’m here. I’m always here to help out and watch out for you and your siblings.”

“Thank you again, it really means a lot...”

“It’s no problem, I love you.” He kissed me

“I love you too.” I pulled him into the kiss even harder

4th interaction: Todoroki Shoto getting to know Hiroto

When Shoto had failed his provisional license and was forced to retake it along with Bakugo and the other students. Camie, the blonde girl from their competing school wouldn’t stop blabbering flirts left and right, specifically targeting Shoto.

Shoto being the dense bitch he is, never noticed a single thing. However, a certain Hiroto who was part of the class that Todoroki and the others were assigned to, noticed. And he was livid about how Todoroki didn’t really turn her down, but sometimes indulged in her questions.

Unbeknownst to Todoroki and the others that Hiroto was a part of this class, they continued to go on about their lives. Hiroto who usually never joined in on the class antics, because of how he was so introverted around his classmates. But his whole quiet nice guy personality did a full turn.

When it came to his mom, he’d do anything for her! And what Camie did, flirting with his mom’s boyfriend took things to a whole new level of personal. He was going to make her life a living Hell. Hiroto decided to keep his identity a secret in order to observe how Todoroki would handle the situation.

When Hiroto saw that Todoroki never really did anything, well you could say he wasn’t only pissed at Camie. He was going to do his best so that hero Shoto would not be able to receive his hero license and of course this revenge plan wouldn’t be complete if he didn’t include Camie. He had another devious plan for her…

“Hey, Todoroki! What’s your number?” Camie asked Todoroki right in front of the class they were supposed to correct their behavior.

“Why would you need it?” Shoto questioned in confusion

“Tsk!” Bakugo interrupted, immediately spotting Hiroto in the crowd of students but decided not to say anything.

It was easy enough for literally anyone to figure out that Hiroto was your sibling from looks alone since you looked exactly like him, just in the opposite gender. Hiroto was giving Shoto the death glare from all the way in the back of the class.

It was like bloodlust was pouring out of him, Hell even some of his classmates and including his teacher steered away from him. In fear of becoming the receiving end of his soon coming outrage.

‘Tsk, icy-hot good luck dealing with your girlfriend's brother, I respect the kid thought since the first time I met him. He’s definitely out for your blood.’ Bakugo thought proudly, looking at Hiroto with a smug smirk whilst the little boy continued to throw deadly death glares at the dual-haired boy. ‘Oh, this is gonna be so much fun.’

Time skip

Hiroto's quirk was the ability to control earth elements, mostly the ground but it would expand the more he develops. A very powerful quirk which he has yet to be able to control, he however was able to practice it a bit whenever you were home and not busy.

Those times were his favorite times with you since none of his other siblings would get to hog you to themselves since you’d be so busy tending to him.

So while Todoroki who was somehow dense enough not to notice the death glares being thrown at him from Hiroto. The usually behaved child (More behaved than the rest of his class) began to conspire and strategize with their class leader ways to make sure the heroes will bend to them.

Starting of with the chaos from the class, they began to use their quirks. And bully Shoto about being Five Wennies, a nickname Hiroto will definitely tell Kaito about so that they can bully him afterwards as well. Within the chaos Hiroto continued to hide and blend in with his classmates as to not be discovered. And he also made an agreement with his friends to do their best to make Camie fail.

When one of female children with brown hair tied in a ponytail started to have a crush on Five Wennies that’s when Hiroto turned his back on her. And they began fighting over who gets to date Five Winnies, her or his sister. Even though Hiroto was mad at Todoroki, he couldn’t help but feel inclined to defend him for his sister. The fight was a childish feud, had it not been for the fact they were both using quirks which could lead to someone getting seriously injured.

The teachers informed Shoto to take care of it, knowing the relationship of the kid and his girlfriend. Everything went ballistic between the two children so Shoto had to use his quirk to dissipate the fight and tension. Dark gray smoke covered the area and Shoto was still yet to discover that the one causing so much trouble was Hiroto. Multiple coughs rang through the air along with some groans and moans when the smoke finally dissipated everyone stared intently and anxiously about what was gonna happen next.

“Hiroto what are you doing?” Shoto asked in pure confusion at the boy

“Getting revenge!!” He yelled, quickly standing up and running at him

A large boulder hurled at Shoto, but having more experience in fighting than the child. It didn’t take much of his energy to stop it in its tracks with his ice. The dual haired boy was shocked and confused to say the least. Out of all your siblings, he expected Kaito to do something like this.

Hiroto ran around the iceberg and was exhausted at this point. There wasn’t much he could do before he’d pass out and Shoto knew it. The little boy had overused his quirk and this was the result of it. So quickly Shoto ran up to the boy as well, meeting him in the middle just in time before he fell to the ground.

He caught him in his arms and looked at him in worry, his eyes were barely open and a fever was forming. He knelt to the ground while still carrying the boy to make it easier for him. Hiroto was still fuming with hatred for the dual haired boy but was barely awake at this point. In his frustration, he did the only logical thing a kid would do. He cried, in fact threw a tantrum.

“How dare you!” The boy cried, punching Shoto weakly in the chest

“Hiroto calm down. You’re forming a fever and way too exhausted from overusing your quirk. Go to sleep.” Shoto spoke calmly but panicked on the inside

“No! You’re cheating on my sister! I hate you!” He barely croaked out with a shaky voice.

And with that Hiroto had finally succumbed to his fatigue. Slight tears formed at the corners of Shotos eyes at those words. He didn’t know why Hiroto thought he was cheating on (Y/n)! But it hurts like Hell to ever think of hurting (Y/n)! And the look on Hiroto’s face when he stared at Todoroki was one filled with resentment, a look that reminded Shoto the one he gives his father everyday. Never ever, would he think of physically or emotionally abusing anyone! Especially (Y/n), his own girlfriend! He’d rather die instead of becoming his father!

And so Shoto froze at that, his heart shattering as he realized that despite not cheating he had hurt Hiroto immensely, by something he didn’t even know what he did. Shoto traced back to his mind the memories of what he did within this day, had he forgotten to say I love you to you before he left? Had he accidentally insulted you with his blunt comments? What?! Just what was it?!

Unbeknownst to Shoto, Bakugo knew what the fuck was going on from the beginning as he knew what social clues were. And he was absolutely livid to think that one of his friends from the Bakusquad got kinda unintentionally cheated on, not really since there weren’t any intentions but it’s for the plot and I don’t know what else to do lol. And so Bakugo walked up to Shoto and punched him across the face. Luckily Shoto didn’t punch back or stumble as he still had Hiroto in his arm and instead glared at him, furious why he suddenly did that.

“Icy-hot, that bitch Camie flirted with you and you didn’t even realize that. You even engaged in it without realizing it, are you that fucking dense?!” Bakugo yelled

“Damn it. I didn’t…” Shoto replied honestly while placing his right hand on Hiroto’s forehead activating it and effectively bringing his ever growing fever down

“Then take the fucking hint and fix up your shit. I’m not going to help (Y/n) if she ever comes crying to me about this. You’re in deep shit.” The blonde boy growled

Time skip

Todoroki got his shit together and finished their retake successfully and avoided Camie at all cost this time like she was the plague but by this time she didn’t care as she had already scored his phone number and was in belief that she had a shot with him despite him already telling her he’s dating the most prettiest girl in the world. Apparently in her words and eyes which kept roaming around his body, making him extremely uncomfortable, that his little girlfriend didn’t need to know anything if only he kept his mouth sealed which he quickly shut down again.

Bakugo’s words of threat never left his mind, he knew that the boy was just looking out for you as you were a part of the Bakusquad and still his classmate as well. Shoto was anxious and scared shitless of what was going to happen next as he waited in the infirmary for your little brother to wake up, never leaving his side once. It didn’t take much longer before Hiroto finally awoke and saw Shoto sitting in a chair waiting for him with great anticipation. His right leg bouncing up and down in a fast rhythm to an unknown song.

“I don’t want you here, get out you cheater!” Hiroto yelled with a scratchy voice

“Listen, I can explain-“ Shoto began but was cut out

“I don’t want to hear any of your pathetic excuses! You knew how much we trusted you yet you cheated! You liar!”

“I won’t leave until you listen and you can’t make me leave.” Shoto replied calmly, his emotions more stable than earlier having already thought the situation through.

“Ack-!” The little boy groaned as he was unable to his his quirk now that he’s over used it, “Fine, I’m giving you 2 minutes tops. Don’t make me regret it.” He finished, growling slightly

“I didn’t grow up with the best figures in my life and because of that I lack the necessary social skills.”

“Yeah, and what about us? You see my parents caring about me and mom or even my siblings?” Hiroto was beginning to sound more and more like Kaito rather than himself

“I have a sister too, but unlike (Y/n), my sister Fuyumi wasn’t as successful as bringing our family together. It means I didn’t have a sister teaching me what’s right or wrong, I hadn’t realized that Camie was flirting with me and that I engaged with it. I only thought about it as her asking questions to be more knowledgeable about us. I was wrong and I realize that now. I should have told her that I was dating (Y/n). I’ve already talked about it to Camie and set her straight, although I haven’t talked about it to your sister.”

“Fine. You’re excused but this is the only time you get a get out of jail free card. And don’t think we’re immediately buddies now, you’ve got to earn my trust now that you’ve broken it.” The little boy growled at him

“I’ll be sure to do my best to earn it back.” Shoto replied with the most apologetic tone he could muster up, “And don’t worry I’ll be sure to tell your sister the truth.” He grimaced, worried about your reaction and if he had put your relationship in danger.

“You’re such a dumbass and asshole, Icy-hot. She’s sensitive about those, one word about it and she’s dumping you. I’m not even sure if you’ll be able to explain yourself.” Bakugo said as he strode in the room.

“Watch your language, Hiroto is still a child and I won’t tolerate you saying those in front of him.” Shoto growled at Bakugo, glaring at him and warning him not to do it again.

The said boy only scoffed in response, “Tch. Whatever.”

“It’s fine… But I also have to say that I agree with what Bakugo-san said, you see my sister is fearful about anything related to cheating.” Hiroto added, looking down in his lap worried for his mom.

“What do you mean?” Shoto questioned as far as he was concerned he was your first boyfriend and you never had much experience in the dating community.

“That bitch didn’t tell you as well, great just fucking great.” Bakugo rolled his eyes, “The only thing I know is that she had this thing with a guy but they were never able to get together as another girl came into the picture. Ever since that she’s been sensitive about that shit.” Bakugo huffed in annoyance.

“I see…” Shoto responded quietly, not really sure what to do with this information, “I don’t want to keep this from her but if what happened earlier hurts her then I’d rather keep it to myself.” Unconsciously Shoto gaslighted himself into believing it was fine to not tell his girlfriend he accidentally flirted with another girl.

“I’d rather keep my moms mental health standing strong.”

“Tch. Whatever.” Just as quickly as he entered, the blonde boy left the room promptly, silence following him.

“Hiroto, get some rest. I'm taking you back home in a while.” Shoto spoke, breaking the silence of the room and pushing the boy's shoulder back into the bed.

“Hey, uhh…” Hiroto began shyly earning a hum from the dual haired boy, “Treat my mom right, okay? We love her a lot and I’m giving you my trust on this”

“Of course, I never want to hurt your sister. I love her as well.” Shoto smiled gently, “Now sleep, you’re sister is worried about you.”

After that interaction, Shoto went out of the room for a bit to call his girlfriend to let her know that her brother was in the infirmary but is currently doing fine. He knew that you over worry about your siblings all the time even for the smallest of reasons, one of the things he loves about you.

But still in his heart, he’s guilty and feels absolute remorse about what happened. All he can think about is that it’s all his fault for being dense. Not being able to express his emotions well or tell what other people’s thoughts, emotions, and emotions are when it comes to love. In these times is where he truly renounces and feels hatred for his father and his doings. In these times he wished he never had a quirk to begin with, he’d rather be poor and quirkless than be born to a monster who disguises himself as a hero.

Ring…

Ring… Ring…

Ring… Ring… Ring…

With each ring Shoto’s anxiety and guilt rose up but being known for concealing his feelings and being unemotional it wasn’t hard at all to hide all of that guilt. Though it still ate him up, and it would be only a matter of time until he breaks or perhaps someone else does the break or better yet spilling some information on him to his beloved girlfriend.

“Hey Shoto! Are you done with your retest already? You should come over to my place. I'm making dinner and it’s cold soba, your favorite!” The girl cheered happily

“Hey, (Y/n)… Thanks, I'd like that a lot…” His heart cracked at the thought of you making him his favorite good for dinner, proving to him just how much you love him while he went behind your back.

“Is there anything wrong? You don’t really sound like yourself?” You questioned in worry, ready to do whatever it takes to help him feel better.

“At my retest… we were supposed to reform a class as the students were out of control but it turns out that class was Hiroto’s. He got in a fight with his classmate which resulted in him overusing his quirk and fainting.” He said almost breaking down from the guilt, in his mind the only thought that was running was that he was turning into his father for hurting someone he loved.

“WHAT!?! Why didn’t you inform me earlier! Is he alright! What exactly happened! Nevermind! I’m heading there instead, I’ll meet you in 5-10 minutes! By-“

He wiped a tear off his face and pulled himself together, clearing his throat he put an unemotional expression on with quite difficulty, “(Y/n), love.” Shoto said in his most calm and sincere voice hoping that it sounded as real as possible, it ultimately resulted in making you calm down as well and bring out your rational side, further pulling at Shotos heart how much he had an effect on you.

“Ack- Shoto…” I start to tear up, unable to understand why my brother had to go through that, “My brother he’s a good kid, he has never gotten into any fights before or-“ My emotions become overflowed and overwhelming that I just sobbed hysterically, “God! What kind of sister am I if I can’t keep an eye on my own siblings! I’m such a failure.”

At this point Shoto’s guilt had eaten him up so much that he was going to explain everything from Camie down to Hiroto arriving at the clinic. But in the back of his mind, he was reminded of Bakugo’s and Hiroto’s. Of how if he tried to tell you what happened, more specifically about him flirting with another woman no matter how unintentional it may have been, would result in his ass getting dumped. He in fact didn’t want his ass getting dumped so he did the most stupid thing he ever did in his life, and that was not listening to his gut instinct.

“Love, he’s alright and don’t worry you’re doing the best you can do and it’s more than enough. It isn't your fault at all, alright? I believe that your brother just got into some disagreement with his classmate about you. He just wanted to defend your name so once he gets home don’t lecture or get mad at him. Okay? And don’t worry I’ll be the one to bring him to you so just prepare dinner, we’ll be there on time.” Shoto said in his sweetest voice he could muster, bullet swears running down his face in anxiousness.

To Shoto, it felt like this was his most dangerous mission he’s ever taken and will ever take and that one wrong word would ruin it all.

“I-I… Alright, I’m just worried about him, you know? Thank you, baby. I’ll wait for you guys.” He could hear you wiping away your tears but your voice still continued to crack but despite that you pushed through and smiled gratefully at him through the phone.

Shoto smiled, thanking the heavens that he managed to not get his ass dumped today. But let’s just see how long he’ll keep this secret up, because as we all know the truth always comes out one way or another…

That night he brought Hiroto back home to you on his back, like what happened with Hikara. It gave him deja vu when he saw you fussing over Hiroto to make sure he wasn't harmed in any way, all the while profusely bowing down and thanking your boyfriend for taking care of your sibling.

Though his heart shattered at the thought of hurting you and not being able to apologize for it. For fear of losing you for the rest of his life. It scared him shitless. People came and left his life, but of all people he just couldn’t let you go. You're his first girlfriend, his first love! You’ve already left a mark in his life and no matter what he does it won’t ever change. He felt so selfish, he loathed the feeling. A part of him wanted you to choose someone better, someone who isn’t as dense as him, someone who didn’t have a lot of emotional baggage, someone who didn’t have a big ugly scar on their face…

But despite feeling all that self loathing, no matter what, he’d do anything to make you not leave him. He’d hate himself even more. His love for you was for eternity. It’s completely endless! So please! Don’t go and leave him and take his heart with you! He’s been through Hell and back through his entire life, so please just… Don’t leave…

In these moments, Shoto felt like he was exactly like his father. He hurt the ones he loved and didn’t apologize for it. His heart cried internally, but outside he kept a poker face, it was one of the things in life he was great at since a very young age. He learned to separate his inner turmoil with his emotions and with time he got so great at it.

Shoto after that began to gaslight himself into believing that what he did was right, and that he was just over thinking things, in truth he could bare the pain in his heart for hurting you, if he didn’t he would have rather stabbed his heart for daring to even hurt you, he was supposed to protect you. He promised that much to your siblings and to think he believed that he was a man of his words.

Look at him now… Turning back on those who he loves and loves him. God… He was his fathers son after all, perhaps he was just as arrogant as that tyrant, perhaps he abused those around him without even realizing it. It felt like all the progress he had made led him back to where he was at the sports festival right before finally Midoriya snapped him into reality with your help of course.

A hopeless boy, a boy filled with hatred, a boy who despite having everything at the touch of his fingertips was never truly happy… Shoto began to lie to himself that evening when he gave you a big and tight hug and pulled you into an unexpected but not unwelcome kiss, one that he poured all his passion into.

That night Shoto began to whisper sweet words into your ears nonstop and began to be more open of his love to you. It was weird of course, Shoto was never the open type to be so open about being affectionate. This was the first time he was really being affectionate, making you wonder what happened but you decided to keep your mouth shut wanting to enjoy the moment and attention since you guys did something that only you guys should know about as you both enjoyed a fiery passionate night. Something you’d regret in the future.

5th interaction: Todoroki Shoto getting to know Kaito

A few weeks after that night had passed and Shoto had already forgotten about the Camie incident but still he was trying his best to make it up to you, giving you surprise gifts and being more open and affectionate. Something you took gladly without hesitation, not questioning it’s his true intentions. Shoto walked into your house and was looking for you, for your date.

You told him you were home and to just let himself in through text, your last message being around 8-10 minutes ago. As Shoto began to search where you were in the house, it never occurred to him you could have been taking a shower and that you were that’s why when he knocked the door and no one responded, he immediately assumed you were there. Not being all to hear the running water from the shower.

He gave up and assumed that maybe you were talking and hanging out with your siblings in their rooms so he first went to Hikari’s, then Hiroto’s, and lastly Kaito. Kaito who was still going through puberty had a very high voice, somewhat similar to yours making him think that it was your whimper he heard coming from the room.

He knocked 3 times politely on the door, “W-Wait-!”

It was too late and Shoto had already opened the door. Kaito was on the floor in front of his bed in a arms wrapped around his knees in a cradling position, looking at a piece of crumpled paper resembling that of a card in dispiritedness.

“You’re not supposed to be here, get out…!” Kaito’s voice cracked, he was still crying, yelling out in frustration at Shoto.

“What’s wrong?” Shoto asked, disregarding Kaito’s initial words

“Get out…!” Kaito yelled and wanted to literally push Shoto out of his room himself but he didn’t have the energy to do that so he scoffed and rolled his eyes at his moms boyfriend, “… Tsk… Whatever just don’t tell anyone else what you saw, especially mommy.”

“Why not?” Shoto asked calmly

“Because they don’t deserve this!” Kaito burst out crying once again.

Shoto felt guilty for not leaving the room in the first place, disrespecting Kaito’s privacy but in the end Shoto recall you saying to him multiple times that your siblings meant the world to you and if anything bad were to happen to them, you wouldn’t know what to do.

And it seemed like something bad did happen so Shoto would need to rely on his hero instincts to get him through this mission seeing as his Emotional intelligence wasn’t as high as his intellectual intelligence.

Sitting down next to the boy Shoto asked paitently and calmly, “It’s alright, you can vent to me if you want and I promise I won’t tell your sis- your mom.”

Kaito groaned and sighed in defeat, “Fine, if you do I’ll make my mom hate you.” His threat was real and filled with malice

“I promise.” Shoto patted his back in comfort

“I-I… I’m going back…” Kaito swallowed his pride and a single year was shed, “A grade. I failed in a single subject so now I’m being held back… I-It’s just not fair! I studied! I r-really did! But I failed! I’m such a disappointment! A bad kid!” Kaito yelled out hysterically and wrapped his arms even tighter around his legs.

Shoto gulped and tried to remember what his mom did to him as a kid to comfort him whenever his dad hurt him with all those harsh training. He scooted even closer to Kaito and hugged him, Shoto was stiff of course but he was doing his best by saying that it’s alright and there wasn’t any need to cry over it and going a grade isn’t a big deal. And no one is disappointed in him, he did his best and that’s all that should matter.

After a while Kaito finally seemed to calm down and was actually appreciative of what his moms boyfriend did for him.

“I guess, you’re not so bad after all…” Kaito whispered to himself

6th interaction: Todoroki Shoto and his s/o breaking up and getting back together with the help of his s/o’s siblings

We were at the (L/n) household, Shoto was upstairs playing ang keeping all my siblings entertained while I was downstairs making us all snacks. It was late in the afternoon when I heard a phone vibrate in my pocket. Instinctively I grabbed it and unlocked it only to realize it wasn’t my phone, Shoto and I must’ve switched accidentally. I laughed slightly at the realization until I saw the notification that popped up. It was a text message and I knew it was wrong to invade Shotos privacy but before he didn’t mind me using his phone without his permission until recently which made me a bit suspicious.

Unknown: Hey Shoto! Are you still up for it? Your girlfriend doesn’t need to know after all🙈👀

Shoto: Sorry, your contact isn’t saved. Who is this?

Unknown: Silly boy! Good thing that you’re hot!!🥵 It’s Camie!! Remember the girl from the retake for the hero license?

My eyes widened in panic and fear as she I remembered exactly who she was.

Shoto: Of course, what is it that you want?

Camie: I was wondering if you’re still up to sneaking in my dorm tonight, my bed feels empty babe😭💔

Camie: *Sends a risky photo of herself*

Shoto: *Seen*

Shoto: Fuck you and your ugly ass!! I never want to see you ever again so get lost bitch!!! Be a home wrecker to someone else’s relationship and btw good luck when these photos get out😈

Camie: *Seen*

I dropped the phone on the counter and immediately started fuming, trying my best to stay calm as I immediately picked it up and screenshotted the conversation and sent it to my own phone through email so Shoto wouldn’t have noticed. It hurt so damn but I was angry too, so angry at Camie that at that moment I only wanted revenge. I thought that I didn’t have the heart to send out her photos but damn was it tempting right about now. But of course, I was a hero in training, I wouldn’t actually do it.

I calmed myself down and that’s when I remember that it takes two to tango. And I was livid at him right now but I also couldn’t bear the thought of losing him or hurting him, I loved him too much too. To dedicate yourself to someone only to find out that they were cheating on you behind your back with the same girl as all those years ago. And what’s even worse was to give yourself to that person, only then did tears begin to pool my eyes.

Old insecurities and bottled up feelings came pouring out of me and the next thing I knew was that I was sobbing quietly on my knees since my siblings were distracted watching a movie on the TV loudly. Only then is when Shoto came running down worriedly as if he had this instinct to know if I was in trouble. He headed towards me with my siblings following suit once they heard him come down and that’s when they saw me crying. Shoto was panicked and confused as to why I was like this and was about to hug me in comfort whenhis eyes landed on the phone on the counter and he realized that the inevitable finally happened, the truth got out.

“(Y/n), please believe me it’s not what it looks like!” Shoto begged

“Everyone except Shoto, I want you up right now and blasting music in your rooms. Understand?!” I yelled through tears and demanded for my siblings to head upstairs, embarrassed to have been caught by them when I was breaking down.

They complied immediately and ran back upstairs to their rooms and Shoto walked towards me carefully and hesitantly as if one wrong move would make me disappear.

“Shoto! Why?! How could you do this to me!!” I screamed through stutters as my voice cracked

This was the first fight we ever had and also the first time I ever yelled at him, “(Y/n) please let me explain! I’m begging you!! I can’t lose you!!” The usually calm and collected boy was gone in an instant, replaced by a desperate man

“I think everything has already been explained! Out!! I want you out of here!! And we’re over, I never want to see your face ever again!!” I yelled at him through tears

Before he could say anything but internally his heart and brain was screaming at his to do something. I grabbed his phone and pushed it onto his chest and grabbed my phone from him while dragging his ass outside and locking the door behind me.

“If you ever thought you could disrespect me like that! Think again Todoroki! So that’s why you’ve been acting strange these days!! Was that all I was too you? Some girl you could use as a body in your bed? Is this why you’ve been giving me so much attention recently? Cuz you can’t handle the guilt of fucking her!!! Am I a joke to you!! Did you really fuck her then me?! I bet you’re happy now and break to leave me now that you’ve had your fill!! Why couldn’t you keep it in your own pants!!” I yelled behind the door so quickly that he couldn’t interject and explain

“NO- love please don’t call me by my last name, it me Shoto.“ His voice boomed in desperation as his tears threatened to fall down his eyes, “(Y/n) you aren’t a joke to me and I highly respect you!! So please believe me when I say I didn’t cheat on you! You have to believe me! And you aren’t just someone I sleep with, you’re my girlfriend for crying out loud! I love you so much, I didn't use your body for anything, you have my word!”

“Love? You forfeit all right to my heart when you decide to cheat so how can I believe you? When the truth is staring right in front of me!? And wow Shoto you really know how to hurt me, of all people that’s the girl who you choose her! The girl who I was replaced with!” I sobbed even more at that

Shoto's heart felt like it was being stabbed and broken into a million shards of her words, “(Y/n)! God! Please listen to me, there is nothing that happened between us!!”

“Shoto do you even realize your actions doesn’t reflect your words? You slept with me only a few months ago right as the same time you started acting weirdly too affectionate, it adds up Todoroki!”

“(Y/n)! Please listen to my explanation and don’t open the door!! Just please! Nothing happened between me and her, it’s only you. It’s always only been you! I’m so stupid and I’m so sorry for everything!! This is all my fault!!”

“Oh! I made sure of that, good luck getting back with that homewrecker when all of this is over. You know, I hope you guys are soooo happy cuz whatever comes around goes around. I hope you know that Camie also sleeps with other guys on the weekends and that you’re just one of her playthings!! You know what I regret it all!!” I fell silent immediately though at his desperate choked scream

“No!!! Don’t say that, don’t say you regret it! Please I love you so much, that it hurts!! Please don’t regret anything, don’t regret loving me or giving yourself to me! I'm so so sorry!! (Y/N)!! Can’t you understand!!?? I love you and only you!! I never went to Camie or anything like that!! It’s still my fault though!! At the retest she kept flirting with me but- but I was so dense that I didn’t notice it and so when she asked for my number she gave it to me! After I realized what she was looking for I immediately shut it down but she wouldn’t listen and she wouldn’t take no for an answer even when I told her I had the best girlfriend in the world!! So please I’m really sorry (Y/n), I am begging you to believe me because I can’t live in a world without you in it!! My heart feels like it’s breaking into a million pieces just seeing you cry and even worst knowing that it’s my fault. I know I’m selfish!! But please. I don’t have anything else to look forward to in this life without you!! Before I met you life was dull and I was only trying to get through each day. I had never smiled or laughed so when I met you, you gave me happiness and unlocked a hidden part of myself that I didn’t know was buried!!” Shoto bawled his eyes out and served his raw and fragile heart to me as his emotions were borderline unstable, his emotions hugging high and wild

For some reason, my pride wouldn’t allow to see anything but red, “Run back to her then if you need some company!!” I was too angry to listen to reason, the feeling of betrayal and heartbreak overcoming anything else

“You’re so damn stubborn! But listen to me because you’re not hearing what I said! Becoming a hero is my dream no doubt and my goal but what’s the point if at the end of the day, all I’m fighting for is nothing. No laughter to return back home with, no delicious meals to look forward to, and even your siblings I love them all.” One could hear the desperation in his voice as he cried out

“Don’t bring my siblings into this… Why? Why then did you not tell me?” My voice was dry and weak from all the crying

“(Y/n)… We thought it was for the best that you didn’t know since you’re so sensitive to those kinds of topics. We just wanted to protect you…” He flinched

“We? Who the hell is we?”

“Me, Hiroto, and Bakugo…”

“You let a child decide? My brother especially? That seems like such a power dynamic. Thanks for informing me, I’ll get the real truth from him then. But aside from that, it wasn’t your decision to make! It wasn’t any of your decisions to make! I deserved to know the truth!! If that even is the truth!”

Shoto pounded on the door with his head, “It’s the truth! I swear to God it’s the truth so please (Y/n), just let me in! We can figure this out together, just- You need to trust me.” He was way too disheveled

I ignored him and from behind me all of my siblings who appeared of nowhere to hug me, “Guys… I’m so sorry you had to see me like this. Don’t worry, I’m strong.” Then I turned to Hiroto who was desperately clinging onto me, “Hiroto, please stay out of decisions like that. Understand?”

Tears welled up in the boys eyes, “Mom… I-I I’m so sorry! It’s not his fault it’s mine! I promise you, he’s telling the truth!! So please blame me, not him!!” The child wailed, tears finally broke down from his face as he kept pulling at me

“Hiroto. None of this is your fault, do you understand. Just please next time, let Todoroki deal with his own mistakes. He’s a big boy now.” I tried my best to calm him down, rubbing his back and whispering comforting words

“Mom.” Kaito spoke from behind me and rubbed my back as well in comfort, “Just get some closure and talk to him. Properly this time, no yelling just listen to his side of the story.”

“Kaito… It’s not that sim-“ I was cut off unfortunately by Hikari who jumped from behind me and hugged me tightly, crying her eyes out as well

“Talk to dad!!” She begged me to

“Dad?!” My eyes widened at the realization she called Shoto dad

My heart broke at their reactions and I knew that they were right but I didn’t want to let down my own pride but then again my siblings were the only people who could ever change my mind, I had to confront him one more time and actually resolve this issue but that didn’t make it any easier, “I-I… Fine… I’ll do it.” I got up and opened the door and walked out still hoping that he was still there waiting

I put a brave front and hardened myself and my emotions. I knew that despite Shoto being sorry for what he had done, my jealousy, insecurities and pride got the best of me and I couldn’t exactly control myself. On the steps connecting the house to the ground was where Shoto sat, who dove his face into the palms of his hands, still crying and broken over the breakup.

“Shoto. I’m out here to talk to you as per the request of my siblings so I suggest you don’t waste this opportunity.” I glared at him from behind with tears in my eyes

He turned around and before I could react he lunged at me with a hug and picked me up while stuttering out words of apologies, “I won’t d-do it again! I’m so s-o so s-sorry!! Please take me back! I swear I didn’t do anything with her, I was too dense to realize her asking for my number was her way of flirting with me! I never used yoh for your body or anything, I love you genuinely because you’re you!!” In front of me wasn’t future Pro Hero Shoto but just Shoto who was genuinely sorry for what he had done

My stone cold heart melted at his apology and the way he cried to me made me just want to hug him back and forgive him so I did just that, “I-I forgive you. I’m also at fault here for not telling you how sensitive I am to those topics and for also over reacting too much without actually listening to you.” I wailed in his arms as I finally hugged him back, “I was just so hurt and scared that you’ll run off to Camie cuz she also stole my ex-crush while he was trying to court me so I thought that she’d also be able to steal you from me. I didn’t want that but I instead pushed you away with my anger and everything went downhill!!” It felt good to release the truth, my shoulder felt light as well as my heart.

“I-I had no idea… it okay too, it honestly was my fault, I shouldn’t have even entertained her.” Shoto got on both of his knees and looked down in shame, “I’m so grateful that you’re taking me back but I feel like I didn’t apologize enough, I’ll do my best to make it up to you. I promise you that.”

I gave him and bittersweet smile and pulled him up, “It’s okay, I know you’re kinda dense, sorry. But yeah, you didn’t mean to do it. And I’m sure you were scared for my reaction about finding out about what happened and just wanted to protect me. Shoto, I forgive you so please stop blaming yourself.” I kissed him right after to which he immediately kissed back.

“I love you, you don’t even know how much but I love you with all my heart.” Shoto brushed my hair with his hands

“I love you too, to the moon and back” I kissed him once again

7th interaction: Todoroki Shoto realizing it’s time for a new beginning to start

On a peaceful Saturday morning, around 4 PM. The sky looked bright with barely any cloud covering up the sun, on days like these Shoto felt grateful for. With all the troubles he and his precious girlfriend went through over their years in U.A. they finally reached their end. Their final stage before becoming fully fledged heroes. And because of that, their school work had been piling up with no end.

You would’ve gotten it done easily the moment they were given but you were juggling and multitasking from focusing on your studies, hero training, and taking care of your siblings. So Shoto decided to just give you the break you deserve by hauling you over his shoulders and walking in the direction of his dorm room. All the while your siblings, who you snuck in the dorms following behind the both of you, giggling and making jokes about your dark eye bags which you responded by throwing a slipper in their direction but purposely missing. Shoto laid you on his futon and just ordered you to sleep much to your protest, but when your siblings jumped in as well and cuddled up to you to sleep, you decided that a couple hours of getting some sleep would be a really helpful recharge.

In the beginning of their relationship it was sweet and puppy love but throughout the passing time and harsh trials they were put in, especially with the third party incident back in their first year. It made his relationship with (Y/n) even stronger than before, making them try to understand each other and not just directly come to conclusions when a problem arises. It also made them more open to each other since, wanting nothing more than to never feel that sort of heartbreak ever again.

Looking around in his dorm room that had changed a lot throughout the 3 years his been in U.A. There were the 4 (L/n) siblings sleeping peacefully on his futon. Had you told him this was the sight he’d find himself in back in his first year when he was going through his rebellious phase he would’ve laughed at you. But now he couldn’t be more grateful of the sight as he secretly hid a small box with a ring in it in his underwear drawer that he had kept for years now, just waiting for the perfect moment to hand it to you. As he knew from the beginning he started dating you, you’d be his first, last, and only lover he’d have for the rest of his life. And he wouldn’t have it any other way.

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