#i was ​like just let me do whatever i can to make it easier for u
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listen-to-the-inner-walrus · 17 hours ago
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For anyone in need of context.
Image ID below the cut.
User unclefather:
me wearing a dog collar and leash looking up at my manfriend in his trench coat and fedora: let's go out in public where you can walk me like I'm a dog in front of people who are visibly uncomfortable
User thecybersmith:
IT'S NOT A FLIPPING FEDORA, IT'S A BOWLER HAT
User an-average-sized-person:
Keeo goobin' goober. A fedora is a fedora is a fedora.
User thecybersmith:
Anyway, with regards to the original post, what would actually be wrong with that? There's no mention of public nudity, nor of treating the human pet in a way that would be considered strange for a dog.
Should people be obliged to modify their behaviour so that the irrationally prejudicial do not experience discomfort?
User an-average-sized-person:
"Irrationally prejudiced" motherfucker admit you have a petplay fetish, there's no shame in it on this website.
User thecybersmith:
Okay... just please consider the following scenario.
It's five to ten years from now. You're sitting in a restaurant, enjoying a lovely meal, when I walk in, accompanied by my wife, my children, and my human pet (whose genitals are covered as it enters on all fours and is wearing underpants).
If my family and I then make an order of our own at the table next to you, in what way have we infringed upon your freedom? What rational basis do you have to demand that we leave or beloved pet at home?
H*ck it all, let's consider a more extreme scenario. It's five to ten years from now. You're sitting in al restaurant, enjoying a lovely meal, when I walk in, without my wife and children (for whatever reason, they haven't accompanied me), with my surgically modified human pet (wearing a collar) being lead in by it's leash.
My pet has been spayed/neutered (though you can't tell because its genitals -along with its boobies if its a female- have been covered up), it has no vocal chords, and it walks on all fours not by choice, but because its toes have been removed, along with the tendons in its ankles being severed (it may also have had its thumbs and the last two segments of each finger amputated, making it easier to care for -nо fingernails to trim-). Perhaps I've even (humanely) removed its eyes, making it less independent.
Even in this scenario, I haven't infringed upon your liberties.
"Irrationally prejudiced" is precisely what you are.
so ur at the party right and there’s this girl in the corner with another girl on a leash with the puppy ears on standard stuff and u start talking to her and she introduces the girl on the leash and says “this is my little puppy, Emily. say hi Emily” and the leash girl does a little bark at u and u say “oh that’s nice” and ur looking for a way to avoid the awkward silence during a 4 second period that feels like a half hour so u ask “does she know any tricks?” so the girl says “come on girl, show ‘em” and the puppy girl gets up pulls out a skateboard and starts doing the sickest kick flips u ever saw
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luckykiwiii101 · 1 day ago
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YOU ARE VOID
(Your Power Is Beyond Human Comprehension)
XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GRL
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XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GRL
ィI made something that’ll love me, even with my flaws⠀࿐
Hey Upper East Siders. You are many things, disappointing, frustrating, the polar opposite of persistent, and pitiful. Did that trigger you…? Well I hope it did. Because you better not have listened to an outsider to tell you who you are.
But if there’s one thing I can tell you about yourself, it’s that you are the void. You are everything. But you act like the opposite. Nothing. But you know why. As i’ve said before, that feeling always comes from somewhere. And it’s not coming from inside the house, it’s coming from the outside. And you keep letting it in. Doors wide open, arms wide open and mouth wide open when you realise you didn’t get what you wanted. How…familiar? You’ve been living this on loop for years.
“S-s-so h-how d-do I s-s-s-s-stop-p g-gos-s-sip-p g-g-g-irl?🥺 I-I’m s-so h-h-help-pless-s-s a-and-d c-c-an’t-t p-pers-sist t-to s-save m-my li-ife. *sucks thumb in stupidity*” …
You know what i’m going to tell you. Identify with your inner self, persist blah blah blah. And yes that is exactly what I would tell you. But this post is for the upper east siders who actually get the point. Now let me get to it. This post is about feeling that you are the void and the creator of your life. Want to induce pure consciousness? Want to wake up “there” in the void? Want to exercise your full power? This is how.
Break out of all bounds created by your human limitations. Want to know why you manifest instantly “in” the void state? Because that’s when you are purely just you. In that state, you are purely you. That is who you truly are. And that is the who I am talking about when I say the “inner self”. Completely detached from the physical world. And that is who you go back to every time you imagine. That is who has it.
Now I want to help you intensify this feeling, make it easier to navigate. Really understand it. Making your desires feel less “out of reach” and “extraordinary”. It’ll help you make your desires feel a lot more natural to you, including inducing the void state and waking up in it. In your purest state. Here’s how.
DO IT NOW:
Close your eyes. Focus on just being. Focus on just being aware. Being conscious. Focus on feeling limitless. Free from all physical “limitations”. Now focus on feeling all powerful. Feel that you can do absolutely anything, feel anything, create anything. That is the real you. Not the outer you.
Infact, there is no “outer you”. There is only the inner you. The outer you is your physical body, the one who is being perceived by others. The inner you can only be perceived by you. Can only be defined by you. And only you.
This is the feeling I meant to talk about when I said “go back to imagination and start with the feeling that you can have whatever you want there.”
Start with this feeling that you are limitless and powerful. Feel that you are the void. Remember who you are, and then imagine whatever you want. That is when you become unstoppable.
I’ve given you all the information you need. Now it’s all on you. What are you going to do? Who are you going to be? XOXO
- gossip girl
XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GRL
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XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GRL
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cevansbrat0007 · 1 day ago
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Guessing Games: A Fast Car Interlude
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Summary: You accidentally trigger Ari's jealous streak. Takes place directly after the events in Guessing Games.
Warnings: Mature Themes, Implied Future Smut, Ari Being A Menace, Brat!Reader, Jealous!Ari, Innocent Flirting, Stupid Men, Manhandling, Mentions of Spanking, Discussions of Self-Image, Mentions of Lingerie, Semi-Public Sex, Allusions to Fingering, Cursing, Minors DNI
A/N: After a shitty week, please enjoy this completely self-indulgent fic. Part of my Sweet Renegade Series. Semi-proofread, not beta'd. All mistakes are my own. Likes, comments, and reblogs are always appreciated. Thanks for reading!
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“Hey. I know this car.” You think as you come to stand in front of a vehicle on display that happens to look strangely familiar. Smoothing your hands down the skirt of your sundress, you manage a quick side-step, narrowly avoiding a collision with a small child who was too busy enjoying his ice cream cone to pay attention to where he was going. 
You’ve been wandering around Fulton County’s annual Classic Car Showcase for the better part of an hour now, and so far things were going better than you’d expected. And not only that, but you were even beginning to have fun.
“I can see why this one caught your eye.” A familiar voice muses as he comes up behind you. 
“I’m trying to figure out where I’ve seen it before. But I’m drawing a blank.” Angling your body, you reach for one of Ari’s big hands, grasping it with both of yours. “Any ideas?” 
“You really don’t recognize it?” 
“‘Fraid not.” Your lips purse as you continue to wrack your brain. 
“It’s an exact replica of The General Lee, the 1969 Dodge Charger driven by Bo and Luke.” 
“Who?” You stare up at him confused. 
That earns you a chuckle, followed by him placing a gentle kiss atop your head. “Bo and Luke. From The Dukes of Hazzard. It was a popular show back in the eighties.” He explains, brushing a stray curl away from your face.
“Oh. Got it.” You nod, pretending to understand. “Mystery solved.”
You both stand there a few moments longer – mostly so he can admire the engine, or whatever the hell you assumed he was doing. Once he’s looked his fill, it’s apparently time to move on to the next car that catches his interest. You’re seemingly content to trail behind him until you happen to spot a nearby cluster of tents. 
“Ari?” 
“Yeah, little Bird?” The rich timbre of his voice has you smiling before you even realize you’re doing it.
“I reckon all this car hoppin’ has me feelin’ a little parched.” You tell him, turning your attention to the concessions located just across the lot. “I’m gonna go fetch myself a lemonade real quick while the lines are short.”
As expected, your man responds without missing a beat. But not before leading you over to the shade so that you can continue your conversation. Which was a good thing seeing as the temperature outside was hovering around the mid-eighties.
“Well, we can’t have that now can we?” Mirroring your smile, he brings your hand to his lips so that he can kiss the ridges of your knuckles. “Let’s go get you somethin’ to drink.”
“Hey, it’s okay. I’ll go while you hang out here in the shade.” Your palms come up to rest against the hard wall of his chest. “Besides,” you continue when he opens his mouth to object. “It’s not like I’m going far. I’ll just  be right over there.”  
“Nah.” Ari swiftly disagrees, adjusting his sunglasses. “How about you wait here while I go get us both something to drink?”
“Are you sure?” 
“Yep.” He gently flicks the tip of your nose. “After all, what kinda man would I be if I left my sweetheart out here to melt?”
“I mean…if you insist.” Rising on your toes – a feat made easier thanks to your wedge heels – you plant a smooch on his bearded cheek. “Hurry back, sugar.” 
Now that he’s officially a man on a mission, Ari wastes almost no time making a beeline for the concessions. But not before issuing a stern warning to you, his curious little Bird.
“Don’t you go wanderin’ off on me, darlin’.” He growls, leaning down to tenderly peck your lips . “I expect to find you right here in this spot when I come back.” 
And then he’s gone. You barely have time to respond with a playful salute before he’s striding off in search of sustenance for you both. Leaving you alone to twiddle your thumbs while you dutifully await his return. 
Not that you minded. If anything, grateful for this brief respite from the heat. It never crosses your mind to abandon your spot in favor of looking at more cars. At least, not until you spy one that has you gasping in pure delight.
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“Woah.” You breathe as you come to stand in front of the one vehicle with the power to transport you straight back to your childhood: a 1958 Plymouth Fury.  
Better known as the car from Stephen King’s novel, Christine. 
You’d absolutely loved this movie as a kid. So much so that your Uncle had bought you your own personal copy after he got tired of renting it for you weekend after weekend. Why, you must’ve seen it over a hundred times. 
But as luck would have it, your private glee is interrupted by the sound of a voice coming up behind you. 
“She’s a beaut, ain’t she?” The man asks, his southern drawl growing even more inviting when he tips his black stetson. “Restored her myself.” 
“Holy crap! It looks just like the one from the film.” You chirp, reaching out to run your fingers along the shiny finish before swiftly thinking better of it. “Sorry.” Is all you can manage as you turn to face him. “I just…never thought I’d get the chance to see it in person.”
“Well…” The dark haired cowboy admits, flashing a chagrined smile. “It’s not actually the car. But it’s pretty dang close. Took me a few years, seeing that pretty smile of yours makes it all worth it.” His smile only grows wider as he holds out his hand to you. “The name’s Russell, by the way.”
You two spend a few more moments exchanging names and pleasantries before he politely redirects the attention back to the prized vehicle in front of you. Russell invites you to ask all the questions you like, only to laugh when you eagerly take him up on his offer. 
In fact, you’re enjoying the conversation so much that you hardly notice when he slowly begins inching closer to you, his leanly muscled frame almost boxing you in. He was charming – you’d give him that much. And easy on the eyes.
Russell was the type of man who warranted a second look. Or at least he would. That is, assuming you hadn’t already been blessed with the gift of Ari Daniel Levinson. 
“You know,” He murmurs, his cool gaze warming as he boldly peruses your dress. “Something tells me this conversation would pair wonderfully with a glass of wine.” His hand reaches for yours once more. “Perhaps over dinner?”
“Oh, I’m sorry...” The shocked apology comes tumbling out of your mouth. “I–I can’t. I actually came with someone. He’s–”
“Look, I don’t wanna be too forward.” Russell smoothly interrupts, stroking his thumb along the ridge of your knuckles. “But I haven’t been able to let you out of my sight since I saw you damn near an hour ago. Honestly can’t remember the last time I came across a woman as sweet as you.”
“That’s awfully kind of you to say.” You reply, intending to let him down easy.
“I saw that fella you were with.” He continues in earnest, still refusing to relinquish his grip on your hand. “Also saw him walk off and abandon you too.” 
“He didn’t – no one abandoned anybody!” Closing your eyes, you can’t help but laugh at the absurdity of the entire situation. You weren’t used to men hitting on you like this. It has you feeling way out of your depth. 
“Be that as it may, I also believe in fate.” His already gravelly voice dips an octave. “I mean, I’ve come to this showcase year after year and never once have I met someone like you.” 
“I…I’m not sure I’d go that far.” You hedge as you weigh your options. 
On one hand, you really did want to be polite. But you also needed to be firm. You already had a man in your life. A man who owned you – mind, body, and soul. Not that you’d had any say in the matter. But these days, you were well past complaining about the handsome Beast of a man you’d come to cherish.
“Think about it.” Your would-be suitor implores, giving you a gentle squeeze. “There has to be a reason our paths crossed today.” 
Alright. It was officially time to put a nail in this coffin. You open your mouth to respond, only to have someone else beat you to the punch. 
“I think it’s about time you let go of her hand.” Ari rumbles, the sound coming from somewhere deep in his chest. “Now.”
“Something I can help you with, buddy?” Russell responds without hesitation, clearly annoyed by the other man’s sudden reappearance. “Because the lady and I were in the middle of a conversation.”
“And I’m sure it was a great one.” Your bounty hunter is too busy glaring at his apparent rival to pay you any real mind. Although, he’s quick to shove a cup of what you suspect to be lemonade into your palm the second Russell releases his hold. “Too bad it’s over now. Let’s go, sweet Bird.” 
The ice in his tone is enough to make you shiver. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that Ari was none too happy to find you entertaining the company of another man. But the last thing you’d expected was for him to be jealous. 
Unless you were reading things wrong. 
“I’m afraid you’re gonna have to wait, fella.” Russell surprises everyone by coming to stand almost nose-to-nose with Ari. “Because she and I were about to take the ride out for a little spin.” 
“We most certainly were not.” You try, impatiently tugging on his arm. “Ari, let’s just go.” Although, you’re not surprised when you end up being completely ignored. 
“Oh yeah?”
“Guess that’s what happens when you abandon a pretty little flower like her all alone in an empty field.” Grinning like a Cheshire cat, Russelly makes a point of poking your man in his chest. “I’m just glad I was lucky enough to be here to catch your mistake.”
Worry fills you when you see Ari simply nod along, his brawny shoulders wrought with tension. Sucking on his teeth, the bounty hunter briefly looks away as he forces himself to take a calming breath. Not that it seems to help any. 
“You know what? I get it. No, really–I do.” Ari smirks, reaching up to lightly scratch at his jaw. “I knew what I was getting into, walking into a showcase like this with a beautiful woman on my arm, wearin’ the hell out of that dress.” One thick arm wraps itself around your waist, hauling you close. “My girl turns heads everywhere she goes. She’s just too sweet to realize it.”
Tucking you behind him, your man bridges the last bit of distance between himself and Russell. And while you can’t see his face, you’re shocked when he gently lifts his rival’s hat from his head, before tossing it in the direction of his forgotten plymouth. 
“And sometimes that sweetness makes cowboys do stupid fuckin’ things.” Ari continues, sounding almost smug. But you don’t miss the danger in his tone. “Which is why I’m gonna be the bigger man right now and walk away, before I give into the urge to find out if you have what it takes to make the long drive home with a fractured arm.”
“Alright, that’s enough from you two.” You snap, finally fed up with all this male posturing. After all this nonsense, you just wanted to sit down and enjoy your drink before all the ice melted. “Russell, cool car. But I’m not interested, okay? And as for you, Ari…”
In lieu of responding, your man chooses to quirk one impatient, tawny brow. 
“You’re looking a little flushed. I think it’s time we got you outta the sun.” Grabbing his wrist, you proceed to physically drag him away from the scene. It takes virtually all your might, but you’re grateful when his legs finally begin to move.
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You don’t stop walking until you reach a set of picnic tables that are far enough away from the show to give you both some much needed privacy while you hashed things out. 
“Darlin’, I can tell by your face you’re fixin’ to yell.” Ari growls, yanking his arm out of your grasp. "And I'd like to make my case before you start." His frown only deepens as he watches you perch on the edge of a bench, but not before taking a dramatic sip of your ice cold lemonade. 
It tastes divine – the perfect treat for a hot summer’s day.
“Did you really have to throw the poor man’s hat?” You ask, fanning yourself.
“Probably not. But it felt good.” He shrugs, jamming his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “Should’ve stuffed his ass in the goddamned trunk while I was at it.” 
“I don’t know what you think you saw, but I was in the process of letting him down easy.”
“Could’ve sworn I told your bratty self to stay put where I fuckin’ left you.” His normally clear blue eyes glitter dangerously, letting you know that he’s pissed. “I mean, it was bad enough waitin’ in line listening to two idiots talk about which one of ‘em was gonna be brave enough to ask for your number…”
“Yeah right.” You scoff, looking up at the sky as you pray for patience.
“Roll ‘em at me one more time, baby. Swear to God.” Scrubbing a hand over his jaw, he finds himself wondering for the umpteenth time just what the hell he’d been thinking bringing you to something like this with you wearing a dress like that. “I’m just itchin’ for a reason to lift that skirt and redden your disrespectful ass.”
In Ari’s mind, you were always the prettiest girl in the room. But on a day like today? You were downright irresistible. And what made it even worse is that you honestly had no idea the effect you had sometimes – on him and damn near every other man who came into your presence.  
“You can’t talk like that!” You hiss, hoping that you weren’t being overheard. 
“And just why the hell not?”
“Because we’re in public, you Beast!” 
Rising to your feet, you set your drink on the table, deciding it might be better if you put some distance between you. Too bad Ari chooses to follow, walking you backwards until you feel yourself collide with the base of a nearby tree. His hands come to rest on either side of your head, effectively caging you in with his much larger frame.  
“I should’ve known what I was getting into the moment I decided to let you walk outta the house wearing that dress.” Ari rasps, trailing his nose along the delicate column of your throat. “I thought I was safe, even with that lacey little scrap of nothin’ you’ve got hidin’ underneath.” 
You barely manage to stifle a moan when your man captures your bottom lip between his teeth, sucking hard before releasing it with a soft pop. One of his hands leaves its purchase to settle dangerously low on your hip. 
“But I see now that’s not enough for you, is it baby?” You press your thighs together when that same hand moves once again. This time working it’s way under your skirt - his short, blunt nails dancing along your skin as his mouth hovers a mere centimeter above yours. “I’m not sure why you thought it might be a good idea to tease me like this. Not too keen on you flirting with other men.”
“I promise I wasn’t.” Your eyes flutter closed as he grinds his growing erection against the softness of your belly. “I just got excited about the car. It’s from one of my favorite Stephen King stories.” 
“Is that why I found you two holdin’ hands?” You let out a whimper when you feel the roughened pads of his fingers dig into your heated flesh, making you squirm. “Because you were excited?”
It wasn’t often that your man got riled up like this. But when he did there was almost no getting through to him until he calmed down. If you were lucky, you could typically drag him to some place quiet, away from prying eyes and listening ears.
“Okay, okay. I’m sorry, sugar.” Leaning up, you press a kiss against the corner of his mouth. “I suppose I wouldn’t like it either if I saw you holding hands with a random woman. Promise it won’t happen again.” You add, weaving your arms around his trim waist after all you receive is a grunt for your trouble. 
Although you can’t help but notice that some of the tension seems to have finally left his shoulders.
“Thank you.” 
Ari allows his forehead to rest against your own as he struggles to collect himself. Wanting more, you cup his face with your hands, bring his mouth down for a much needed kiss. His eager tongue dances with yours, demanding more of your submission as the passion builds.
You’re both breathing hard when you finally come up for air. However, you realize your man’s not done. At least not yet. 
“You’re enough to drive a man insane. You know that?” He groans in between soft, yet feral kisses. “I swear I try to be progressive – I do. I got sisters. A niece.” A sound almost like a purr rumbles in his chest as he nuzzles his nose in the crop of your neck. “But I’m also man enough to admit I’ve got a bit of a jealous streak. Never was much of a problem until I met you.”
“I’ll be sure to keep that in mind.” You murmur at the same time as your pussy spasms, dampening your panties with your slick. 
“Good.” Ari lifts your leg, hitching it around his waist and not giving a damn about who sees. “And Bird?”
“Uh huh?” A shiver courses through you as he begins covering your exposed flesh with tiny, possessive love bites. This time you make no move to stop him. Thank goodness you’d had the foresight to pack some concealer.
“I hate to break it to you.” His mouth finds yours once more, deliberately teasing you with each sensual stroke and flick of his tongue. “But you and me, we’re not gonna make it back to Bell’s Creek tonight.”
“And w–why is that?” Your eyes threaten to roll back in your head as his fingers find your clit, toying with the swollen nub through the soaked fabric of your panties. 
“Because I’m having the damnedest time trying to talk myself out of fucking you hard and fast on the hood of my truck.” He responds with an unapologetic shrug. “But I suppose I’ll just have to settle for a hotel, huh?” Grinning, he increases the pressure on your sensitive bundle of nerves, loving the way you buck and writhe beneath his touch.
“I’ll start hunting for reservations.” You move to reach for your phone even as you feel your vision blur and your toe s curl. “But whatever you do…oh God…just please don’t stop.��’
END
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childrenofcain-if · 3 days ago
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AS THE WREN SHEDS HER FEATHER (ELIAS’S POV AFTER SEEING YOU OFF TO UNIVERSITY)
one of the servants unlocked the door to the manor and elias stepped inside, the peculiar quietness pressing down on him like an unexpected weight. it was strange—to be met with silence when he expected his little apple to come bounding downstairs or to be already lounging in the living room to greet him. he thought he’d have an easier time getting used to it, but now? he wasn’t so sure.
elias handed his tailor-made suit jacket to another servant, glancing at the framed picture on one of the mantles near the fireplace: you, as a young kid, perched on his shoulders, a grin lighting up your face. your mother’s arm is looped around his, a laugh in her eyes so identical to yours as she holds onto the two of you.
he could remember the day that picture was taken, but it wasn’t enough—just memories which grow blurry each day. so he went to his study, where he kept the home videos. the cabinet was hidden behind a stack of old books, almost as though he’d been trying to bury it. but tonight, with you miles away at yale and his heart feeling like it was suddenly too big and too heavy for his chest, he wanted to see her. he wanted to see both of you.
after a few minutes of sorting through the SD cards, he found one simply labeled, “to be remembered.” he slid it into the player, and the screen flickered, a bit staticky, before the familiar image of the manor’s living room filled the screen.
the camera was shaky at first, moving around as your mother laughed, “elias, you’re terrible at this. here, let me…” her hand appeared in the frame, reaching for the camera.
“no way!” elias’s voice, younger and far more cheery, filled with laughter, protested from behind the camera. “i’m the cameraman. you, mijn liefje, are the star.”
“oh, so you just get to sit back and watch, huh?” she teased with a fond roll of her eyes.
the camera settled, a little less wobbly, as elias zoomed in on you, toddling around with your hands outstretched for balance, your whole face lit up with excitement. you must have been barely two, still unsteady on your feet, wobbling a little as you reached for her.
“come here, sweetheart,” she said, crouching down to your level, arms open. “you can do it, just a few more steps.”
elias chuckled as he watched her coax you forward, a surge of warmth flooding his chest. he remembered how her face would soften every time she looked at you, the way her eyes would light up. and then he saw it again—how she laughed when you finally tumbled forward into her arms, her joy bubbling over.
the tape lurched forward in fits and starts, as if elias had just recorded whatever seemed meaningful at the time without thinking about how it would piece together later. the screen shifted to a birthday, candles on a homemade cake—your fifth birthday. you were wearing a crown made of a long balloon that you’d insisted on, sitting cross-legged at the table, and there were flecks of icing smudged on your cheeks. your mother was holding the cake, careful to keep it level, beaming as she leaned toward you.
“go on, make a wish!” she encouraged.
you closed your eyes so tightly, putting your hands together with exaggerated seriousness, lips moving silently as if asking the universe for something only a child could imagine. then, with a deep breath, you blew out all the candles in one go. the room erupted in cheers—your mother, your father, your kindergarten classmates, even some of elias’s business partners they’d invited over that day.
“what’d you wish for, apple?” elias’s voice asked from behind the camera.
“i can’t tell you, dada, or it won’t come true,” you said, grinning, eyes twinkling in the candlelight.
the camera lingered on your face, the pure joy and belief shining in your eyes. elias could remember how the moment felt then, with both of you so young and so certain that everything good could be held together just by love and laughter. he felt a pang in his chest, a memory too nostalgic to hold without pain.
the video cut to the christmas morning of 2009—your mother was filming this time, narrating with a chuckle as she zoomed in on the chaos of ripped wrapping paper and new toys scattered across the floor.
“look at this mess! who do you think is going to clean all this up?” she asked, mockingly stern, zooming in on you hiding behind the couch.
“dada!” you’d shouted, giggling as you peeked out from your hiding spot.
“wow, selling me out, huh?” elias’s younger self chuckled as he leaned into the frame, pretending to growl and chasing you around as you giggle and try to run away from him.
the frame then jumps to another clip of you in the center of the frame, small and wide-eyed, your tiny hands busy, your concentration fixed on hanging ornaments on the lower half of the tree. you were talking to yourself in that way only small children do, a quiet monologue about which ornaments went where and how important it was that they were balanced just right.
“that’s the glittery one!” your mother’s voice came through, rich with warmth and humor. the camera wobbled slightly as she adjusted the focus, trying to capture your handiwork up close. “are you sure it should go there?”
“mama,” you said, in that exasperated tone only a preschooler could muster, “i know where it goes.”
“oh, i see,” she laughed, the sound a warm, gentle ripple through the screen. she shifted the camera to capture elias as he stepped in, feigning seriousness, hands on his hips.
“is the decorating committee open to suggestions?” he asked, crouching down to your level with a grin.
“no,” you replied without missing a beat, making him chuckle.
he then reached over, lifting you off the ground in one swift motion, swinging you in a wide circle. you shrieked with delight, half trying to wriggle free, half clinging to him.
in the background, your mother could be heard laughing too, her voice just as bright and full of love as your giggles. as he lowered you back down, she moved closer, still holding the camera as she leaned in to plant a kiss on your cheek.
“who’s the little ornament expert now?” she murmured, voice so close, so impossibly tender. she kissed you on one cheek, and elias joined in, kissing you on the other, making you squirm between them, giggling with each kiss.
“stop, stop!” you squealed, caught between pushing them away and clinging to them. “you’re both squishing me!”
“we just can’t help it,” your mother said, a soft laugh trailing off as she kissed you again. “you’re so loved, my sweet baby, you know that?”
elias’s voice was quieter but equally warm as he added, “we love you so, so much, little apple. more than anything.”
he pressed another kiss to your cheek, lingering, his voice almost catching, as if he was holding onto the moment where he truly felt like he was the richest man on earth.
elias hit pause. the screen froze on her face—her smile bright, eyes crinkling at the edges. he swallowed hard, feeling the tears well up before he could stop them. the years had done nothing to soften the edges of her absence. the house still echoed with her laugh some days, in small ways that felt like nothing and everything. he let the tears fall, a quiet acceptance of how deeply he still missed her.
finally, he pressed play again, as if he couldn’t bear to stop watching. he watched you grow through that grainy screen: you with your first lost tooth, your first day at school, your proud insistence on making dinner—omelette burnt to a crisp that elias and your mother had eaten anyway, praising every bite.
and then the last video came, a quiet day at the beach. the camera showed you and your mother on the sand, the waves lapping at your feet. she held your hand as the wind whipped through her hair, her smile soft and quiet as she watched you point excitedly at the seagulls swooping overhead. she bent down, saying something to you that he couldn’t quite hear over the sound of the waves, but he remembered the feeling of that day, of everything feeling just right in that one moment, sun dipping below the horizon in a blaze of color.
he watched as the sun began to sink lower in the video, casting a warm orange glow across the sand. and then she looked back at the camera, at him, her gorgeous eyes meeting his through the lens.
“come here, darling,” she called, beckoning him with a smile.
the camera dropped slightly as he walked toward her, and for a moment, all that was visible on the screen was a blur of sky and sand. then he set the camera down in the sand, angled just so, and the three of you were together, laughing as you stood side by side, the waves lapping at your ankles, the horizon stretching endlessly behind you.
and then, just like that, the tape ran out, the screen going to static.
elias sat there in the silence, his chest tight, the memories pressing in on him, so beautiful and aching all at once. he hadn’t let himself revisit these moments in years, too afraid of what they’d stir up, but now the memories felt as vital as air. he could almost hear her voice, feel the weight of her hand on his shoulder, see the way her eyes had softened every time she looked at you both.
he leaned back in his chair, one hand covering his mouth as he closed his eyes, letting the repressed emotions wash over him. the tears spilled over, hot and unbidden, the kind that left him feeling vacant and full at the same time.
he never cried in front of you like this, too afraid that it’d break the fragile tape that held the dam of your devastation upright. but now, elias didn’t even try to wipe the tears away. he let himself feel it all, the bittersweet ache of love and loss, the memories that filled the empty spaces your mother had left behind.
the silence seemed different now though, less hollow, filled with echoes of laughter and whispers of promises he’d made, long ago, to keep always keep going—for you, and for her.
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ultramaga · 3 days ago
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"textwalls are actually harder to read" Absolutely. I could manage them when I was young, but the older my eyes get, the more likely I am to nope out. I used to copy and past them, then try inserting paragraphs, or even run a script to turn every full stop into full stop plus carriage return, but now I don't bother.
"Gutherie & Wigfield (2000) assert that a slow reader may lose all information about the beginning of a sentence from short-term memory before he or she has read to the end." "
Blocks of text should not be too long or too wide. When paragraphs get long, they’re harder to read because there’s less whitespace. Whitespace gives paragraphs shape, which acts like visual bearings, making it easier to find your place, and to find the start of the next line. Using more, smaller paragraphs suits web content particularly, because it lets you subtly highlight more useful phrases, by putting them in their own paragraph, or starting a new paragraph. For similar reasons, long lines (wide paragraphs) are slower and harder to read than narrower ones. Lines of around 100 characters present neat bite-size chunks of text that can easily be decoded, and also make it really easy to scan round to the start of the next line."
I had to study this stuff in web design back in the 1990s, and it stuck with me.
"Avoid the text-wall effect with spacing." If I try to read the paragraph below, I physically can't. I feel sick just glancing at it.
There's been attempts to investigate this scientifically but I haven't seen too much hard evidence. I will tell you that an easy test would be to present people who are tired information that is all in one massive chunk, and compare the results when white space is used.
Because when you are tired, or your eyesight is poor anyway - forget it, it actually seems to dance about, even if I use one eye only, and there's a feeling of motion sickness.
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Do they know that reading is not mandatory? Nobody is forcing them to read?
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ladyloveandjustice · 3 days ago
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I want to expand on what I'm talking about. And I said a little bit extra in the comments:
There's just some posts that have been going around about how to solve the issue of men swinging real right in America right now,which does have an impact on society. some guy was saying he was attacted to the right bc they were all 'welcome brother' but in the left people resent him. I think it's just. It's easier to go to an idealogy that's like 'you're entitled to this' than an idealogy that says 'hey you're not entitled to everything but you could be more emotionally healthy and kinder to other people and". That's something simply being nice or making them feel good won't ever fully fix. The "rewards" for being in the right will always feel more immediate for white men.
It's not unique to men to feel alienated in an idealogy that wants you to challenge yourself. At the same time, more kindness to everyone, emphasis on acceptance, less volatile language toward each other, will help the community be stronger over all. it is a difficult conundrum, but I don't think it comes down to 'we don't make men feel special enough
It also ignores I think, that white men DO get rewarded in leftist spaces too. a lot. Men will get a ton of adoration for saying something vaguely feminist than if a woman says it a lot of the time, and so on a so forth, everyone loves a sweet guy...I think that's something that already happens.
But let's get back to volatile language:
We always say guilt isn't going to help anyone and it isn't about guilt. But I think we need to admit that no, we do try to make people feel guilty and ashamed a lot. And not framing it around that most of the time would do a lot.
I've seen posts straight up saying it's a bad thing to want to survive and live happy lives and take actions to do this because (x) bad thing is happening. You know, the most basic human instinct? And that's not going to win over people. You may not like that, but it's not.
I don't think that needs to center on women helping men feel special about themselves. A lot of us are asked to take care of men all the time and it's exhausting. Men on the left can focus on being more positive about the concept of manhood if they want, but asking women to do the work. is just....yeah that's just the patriarchy.
I do think examining things like black masculinity etc is great though. If you have another marginalized identity, it will intertwine with masculinity in very specific ways that will be used against you, just as it is with femininity or being outside both those concepts (yet the world assigns you one anyway). I totally get that masculinity is used as a weapon against both gay men and gay women, in different specific ways. And I think at least learning about that and supporting efforts to stop this makes one a better person.
On the other hand. it would be insane of me to ask a Black woman to make a Black man feel special and accepted for simply being a man if she doesn't want to do that. Like. absolutely wild.
And it's it's rarely about that, is it? When we say "celebrate men" it's not bringing any unique experience into it. It's about white men. They're the ones who make up most of the alt-right.
Communities in the right are not compassionate but because they offer some form of reward and companionship they can seem like that. As much as people are lured in by "welcome brother" or whatever, those same people will on the right will mock any person who steps outside the strict roles that have been set.
So....we need to abolish to same roles. I think we need to focus on how we talk to people. On supporting people when they're trying.
It also comes off in how we talk to each other about basically I can harshly tell someone who has privilege over me-- a white man or straight person ect ect-- their guilt about their privilege does nothing, I'm not interested in guilt and what we need is action. But let's be real. Telling someone "you benefit from a system that makes other people suffer" is going to make someone feel guilty. And yelling at someone for feeling guilty isn't going to make that better. I think we avoid saying the truth and say what's the core of it-- no, it's not your fault you were born a certain way and now you benefit from something. A society hundreds of years in the making made that happen. And that sucks, that you basically have no choice but to be complicit. And it sucks way, way more for the people who are kept down by that system. So we need to change society. We can do it together. It's not to "make up" for you existing. It's because we care about each other. I want this for all of us, because when we see each other as whole people and are treated equally, it benefits all of us.
This is a not a "men are uniquely punished by the left for being men, we need to celebrate masculinity, stop being so mean" thing. It's a human thing. It's about the way we talk to each other and try to weild guilt towards people in general. People want to feel good about themselves. They want some kind of acceptance. If you're constantly made to feel bad, it can be hard to want to stay. This is something everyone feels, because we all have a selfish instinct.
People don't like feeling guilty. That's just how people are. It's promoting compassion, rather than hatred and resentment, that's going to help us in the end.
But me simply saying that isn't going to change much. Humans feel hurt and lash out too. When horrible things are happening to us, we resent people that don't understand that or are part of that. The paradigm shift will be hard. Not everyone will be able to do it and I don't think that's wrong.
Everyone gets frustrated by a class of people where a lot of them have more power and try to push them down. Nobody wants to talk to someone that's trying to hurt them.
That's why it needs to be someone like me who could explain racism 101 rather than idk. making a person of color say 'well white people don't feel special and accepted for being white. poc we must be nicer. let's celebrate whiteness because the right does and that's why white people are drawn to it, they feel accepted." listen to how ridic that sounds. you are literally asking for a white history month. That's the same thing you're doing when you're talking about manhood like this. The onus is not on the discriminated group to reach out to those harming them. That's up to others in the community.
But as a broader thing...We just need to figure out what the end game is. Do we want to yell and guilt trip, or do we want more people in our corner? What's more important, the end goal or if someone knows all the right lingo or matches up to your opinions exactly? What do we need to rally around? How can we take care of each other? If we're kinder to the community, more people will follow.
Anyway this is the last time i'll say some big thing like this and tag it. I don't like doing this on tumblr for a reason.
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owlgirl495 · 21 hours ago
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ok, so i know i rarely actually post my own words on here but with the last 911 episode i’ve been wanting to say something.
i’ve been reading a lot of what people have written (and i’ve added my own thoughts in the tags of many posts) but now that i’ve had time to process a little, see what others are saying, and talk to my irl friends about it a little, there’s one thing that i’ve only seen mentioned like once and i wanna talk about some more. more people have probably mentioned this and i just probably haven’t seen it and these thoughts are subject to change and all that but here we go:
it makes me really upset how little of buck and tommy’s relationship we actually got to see. and i know that they can’t focus on a side plot like that for a super long time and that it’s not the bucktommy show but i was actually okay with only getting scraps until the breakup and here’s kind of why.
they’ve been dating for six months. SIX MONTHS. and they seem to know NOTHING about each other. and i truly didn’t get this vibe until the last episode (8x06) and i think that’s why it feels so off for me.
at the end of season 7 they looked like they were really trying to get to know each other both on and off screen, they were talking about important things with each other, and actually trying to have real conversations. and then in season 8 there’s just none of that.
i didn’t think anything of it at first because i figured they just had those conversations off-screen in the FOUR MONTHS we didn’t see. but with 8x06 it truly feels like they didn’t have a single real conversation that we hadn’t seen.
8x06 shows us that they don’t know about each others’ exs at all, buck doesn’t know how tommy views his sexuality, tommy doesn’t know that buck hates basketball, so what exactly have they been talking about outside of the silly goofyness of 911 subplots for six months??
tbh i understand having them break up (i really wanted them to be endgame but i understand if that was never actually the plan) but the way they broke up felt so wrong.
i would’ve even understood if the real reason they had broken up was because after six months they realized that they don’t actually know anything about each other but even so, until 8x06, that was never indicated. they had a couple serious conversations with each other in season 7 and since there were no hints either way, i had assumed those had continued off-screen.
to have a well-liked couple with a decent amount of screen time break up without showing us pretty much any of the actual downfall of the relationship, giving what felt like a shoehorned in reason for the breakup, and only giving us last minute hints at the possible actual reason for the relationship ending feels shitty, if i’m being real.
i know it’s just a fictional show and it’s not that serious but this really hurt. i hate how much i let this get to me but i really let this show get my hopes up. it was my main form of escapism and something that consistently made me happy outside of things in my everyday life that have been stressing me out. i thought i could sink a little further into it after the results of the election but now it’s no longer the same form of comfort for me.
i’ll probably still continue watching the show and i absolutely adore all the people i’ve gotten to interact with (even in my really small way of interacting) through this fandom but 911 does feel a little tainted for me at the moment.
i’m probably missing some stuff here and a lot of this is just rambling but that’s it for now, i hope you are all doing okay and hanging on to whatever you can to make this a little easier <3
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runningforthemills · 3 days ago
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There's a difference between coddling and kissing people's feet and not downright hating people for no reason, tbf. I totally understand how this feels. I understand that exhaustion of feeling like we have to be perfect and watered down and palpable to be accepted, let alone helped. I do think however that the post in question was not about being nice to men to protect their feelings but rather pointing out the fact that a lot of feminist and queer spaces (more and more it feels like) do fall into that hating men stereotype as an us-vs-them thing, and alt right people know that and use it to their advantage.
It's not an excuse, of course it's not, but imagine trying to join spaces to help however you can and being repeatedly told that you're evil, that everyone hates you, that everything is your fault. It can discourage people who had good intentions. "Oh then their help isn't worth it"? Even the most passionate people cannot lead a revolution on their own. Moderate people make up the majority of humanity, and their help, however benign, does count. They're actually a benchmark in how much mentalities are changing. And, yes, sometimes they can get scared easily. (Not only men! Women too). If they then fall into the alt right space that is absolutely ON THEM, don't get me wrong, but why are we making the alt right's job easier?
(Not to even mention how that can impact trans men, who might be scared to enter spaces that are very vocal about hating men.)
No one is asking you to be nice. The post is about not being hateful for no reason. While that is what happens in real life most of the time, online, people are always more extreme. And online spaces are taking more and more importance nowadays. You can say whatever you want in your friends groupchat, who cares? When you're on a bigger platform, it's different.
I understand that saying "i hate men" can be more handy than saying "i hate when men [blank]", "i hate the patriarchy", "i hate sexists" etc. But most of the time, we do not hate men. We have friends, partners, family, colleagues. Some we love, some we just tolerate. So why are we saying it? Why are we dividing our forces? Who benefits from it?
Idk if that made sense but i see this issue being treated with both extremes, pro or against, and i think it's just about being decent. Nothing more, nothing less
"as a guy who escaped the alt-right pipeline, [*blames it on Misandry*]"
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magpie-trove · 1 month ago
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#been trying to figure out how to ‘discern God’s Will’ for years now#and think somethings finally starting to hit me#went through this phase where it was like I know God’s Will because he has Revealed it to me (wrong)#or at least like. it’s not like here is a prophetic dream of all your future and now you must make sure your decisions line up with that#<-not how it works#then I went through this phase like how can I make Any decision if I don’t know the exact decision God would have me make here? i don’t have#the roadmap how do I know which way to turn?#<-contrary to popular belief life is NOT a Highway#then I went through a phase like oh! i have to be ok not knowing and trust God! leave that all to him and just do the thing in front of me!#<-yes!! but also. still leaves me incapable of making decisions#but now I’m getting to this construct:#for trying to make decisions:#1. orient your desires toward pleasing God#ie. hm. what can I do to please God?#note: this means what can I do to *please God* as in what pleases him?#what kinds of things are good what does he like?#2. oh! he likes these kinds of things I know (from what he’s told us) so what can *I* do to please God#based on what my skills and passions and circumstances are#in my unique way how can I please God?#and then 3. pursue some of those things and let God close and open doors as he will#and work to be content which is much easier when your goal is just to please him! like a lover their beloved or a child their parent#cause if that doesn’t please Him then it’s contrary to your goal and you don’t mind losing it so much#*this is all in a case of open ended decisions especially#cause obviously if it’s a good choice or a bad choice you should do the right thing that’s God’s will#but when it’s like jobs or moves or spouses of restaurants or whatever#God’s not a fortune cookie! you can’t anticipate his providence and make it happen yourself!#he’s *providing* it as you go! unbeknownst to you generally!#anyways! that’s where I’m landing#what can I do to *please God*. what can *I* do to please God. what *can* I do to please God
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mayhemspreadingguy · 2 years ago
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Today I woke up and chose silliness!
(yes, the mood of my posts is all over the place but this is what you signed up for, it's literally in the name x'D)
This is another contribution to the silly rabbit au (by @cuubism ) featuring @magnusbae 's Dream in a hoodie.
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elftwink · 4 months ago
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have to work on a project today and an unrelated thing happened that just made me so so so so so mad (just some irl personal stuff), which normally derails my entire day because i find it so hard to come out of the angry/upset state and tend to just circle back and obsess over whatever triggered it but! today after 20 minutes of that i had a council meeting about it (<- what i call my decision making process) the outcome of which was putting it aside (!!!) for later when i could actually talk about it and resolve it (!!!) & in the meantime we could just do other stuff.
local man exuberant and jubilated to achieve feats of basic emotional self-regulation and was seen excitedly telling reporters he "never thought this day would come" and began giving a thank you speech to nobody in particular. more on this story as it develops
#good idea generator#more and more i find the most effective way to get things done is to have like. a council discussion in my head about it#my thoughts always feel really noisy especially when im upset & its easier to process what im thinking/feeling#if i imagine it as coming from many different sources with different opinions. rather than contradictory ones from me#bc then i get stressed about the contradictions. council discussion is easy bc you can let everyone say their whole perspective#so everyone gets listened to + then theres space to ask questions like 'is this helping or hurting?'#if you're wondering who 'we/everyone' is. its me. this is probably obvious but i never know what is typical when explaining how i think#or if im explaining it in a way that makes sense and is accurate to whats actually going on up there#arguably i dont think any language is ever truly 'accurate' to whats going on up there#feels like trying to see if other people see the same red as you do. what do you ask? and when you think you know how do you check?#anyway. i like the council because i used to just try to shut down negative or spirally thoughts#and it never worked ever it just made me feel more out of control. whereas now i have to listen to the whole thing#+ try to identify what the underlying fear or need is and try to address THAT#also awhile back i read the handbook for internal family systems therapy which has def influenced how i think of myself#now i have never actually done ifs or spoken to a practising professional so grain of salt and whatever#but i have found it is by far the way that makes the most sense for me personally to think abt myself and try to solve problems internally
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averysmolkirbo · 1 day ago
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"Woahhh, am i in the afterlife?-"
"DUDE. WHAT THE HELL MAN. OUT OF ALLL THE MORTALS I COULDVE GIVEN A GIFT TO, I CHOOSE THE ONE GUY WHO NEVER FIGURES IT OUT???"
"Wha- are you like god or something? wait, I HAD A POWER??"
"YEA. I GAVE YOU THE POWER TO FREEZE TIME AT WILL AND YOU NEVER DID IT??? Waste of a perfectly good gift!!"
"HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW. I WAS NEVER TOLD ABOUT THIS?"
"YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO MAKE THE DAMN BALONEY SANDWICH."
"wha- what does a baloney sandwich have to do with this???"
"I WATCHED YOU FOR LIKE A MONTH. AND YOU ATE A BALONEY SANDWICH FOR LIKE EVERY MEAL. YOU JUST STOPPED ONE DAY AND NEVER DID IT AGAIN. WHAT THE HELL, MAN. YOU HAD LIKE 50 FUCKNGI YEARS TO EAT ONE FUCKIGN SANDWICH AND YOU COUDLNT DO THAT?"
"Wait. Is this about that time i was like, 20??? I swore off of baloney sandwiches forever after i found my girlfriend cheating on me. That was her favorite. i only had it cuz i was with her."
(mortal, under his breath)
"....That bitch really took my virginity and my godly powers??? DAMN IT!"
"AW OF FUCKING COURSE I CHOOSE THE ONE THING YOU NEVER ATE AGAIN. SHIT. "
"ok so i still dont see why i had to eat a baloney sandwich to use the power. why couldnt i just *use* it. why is this MY fault. YOU shouldve just made it easier to use."
"Wow, i give you powers and this is the fucking thanks i get? See if i ever help you again..."
"Ok so like the thing is im not actually powerful enough to give you a gift that powerful no strings attached. I had to choose an activation condition for it to work."
"And you chose BALONEY SANDWICH? not something like BREATHING?"
"I didn't want to make it obvious!! I wanted to have FUN with it but clearly you were too DENSE for it. Baloney sandwich was the most consistent non-obvious thing you did!! how was i supposed to know you were gonna stop the NEXT DAY?"
"Ok. So while this obviously sucks for both of us, can i use it now? In my afterlife?"
"If you can make a baloney sandwich. I dont see why not."
"Ok. Cool. Is there like a godly pantry i can get the ingredients from, or...."
"Yes, actually, down the hall, to the left, 2 doors down."
"Sweet."
"Oh yea i forgot to mention we only have whole wheat bread"
" >:( aw man. I hate whole wheat. It tastes like shit. What else, you're out of baloney?"
"No......"
"why'd you say it like that"
--------
"Ok i found your stupid bread. but where's the baloney. You said you had some."
"We do, but-"
"ok so where is it."
"-but we keep it in the underworld."
"Why??? What do you guys have against baloney??? Why is only IT condemned to the underworld???"
"No reason! I swear! the guy who runs the place just REALLY likes it and none of us really do, so we just let him keep it down there"
"Yknow since he's like. Already stuck working in the basement. we thought we'd give him SOMETHING."
*one very long and perilous journey for baloney later*
"ok YOU COULDVE AT LEAST TOLD ME HOW HARD THAT WAS GONNA BE."
"I told you, man. He REALLY likes baloney."
"Whatever. i ate your stupid sandwich. how do i activate it."
"Try clapping."
*nothing happens*
"What. Why didnt it work. I ate your stupid baloney sandwich."
"Did you remember to add the mayo?"
"MOTHERFUCKER-"
You're a god who has decided to give a mortal a gift. You decided to surprise them by not telling them about their new power. After a full life of normalcy, you greet them in the afterlife confused and angry as to how they didn't discover their power.
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bunnihearted · 7 months ago
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🐰🌧️
#so on my way home..#i walked by a school and besides the fact that i felt so depressed bc just looking at these kids and adults i have NO hope for the future#i saw two boys on a bench as i walked by... and i just thought they were talking. and too late i realized that no one of the boys were#bullying the other boy. the bully walked away and the other boy just sat there looking so lifeless and dejected#a teacher came and sat down w that boy and i just kept walking. even if i wanted to say smth it's like what would i even do abt that situati#that made me so sad both bc that boy.. he looked so dejected and used to it. that anxiety going to school knowing you're bullied is awful#and like i imagined talking to him and saying heyyy if you're lucky you'll grow up to be 25yrs old#live like a parasite off your mom and be on wellfare and never have had a job :)#you'll have no education or highschool diploma :) you will still struggle to finish hs even at an easier level :)#you will also not have had friends in 10yrs and you'll be terrified of ppl and getting close to anyone and even going outside!!#you'll have no interests and hobbies and skills! you'll simply be a waste of space loser being a burden on everyone around u!#whoop whoop stay alive buddy it will only get worse ❤️#god i just wanna cry. how did i let my life turn out this way??? i used to be full of dreams and life and passion and HOPE#i used to believe in things and in people. i had so many dreams and i wanted to try and do so many things#now all i can think is 'i wanna die i wanna die i wanna die'. im miserable wherever i go lmao#there's this bridge over the highway i have to cross when i walk to school and every time i look down at the trafic and when a truck drives#by i feel my entire body vibrate. i just wanna jump and get mauled by it.#or i dont *want* to but i feel so deeply and desperately that it's the only way for me#only way to make it stop hurting. and i am weak. i dont know how to just 'stop' or take control of my life. thats why i wanna die#bc i know that i wont be able to. that my life will never amount to anything#for fuck's sake my dream now is just to have my own 1bedroom apartment and have a shitty job - like in a grocery store or whatever!!!!!#not even that can i make happen! bc im so worthless i cant do anything. im also stupid so i wouldnt be able to do my job right#i dont know... i dont know... these feelings and thoughts are too much i just wanna relax#but i cant bc my ribs hurt and idk if it's heartburn or an ulcer 💀 why am i even alive???? what am i doing all this for? 😭#my thoughts ran away but i meant like seeing that reminded me of how much of a failure i became#bc of my circumstances and all the shitty ppl around me thru out my life
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tj-crochets · 3 days ago
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I thought of another category of pattern making advice! So below this read more, I'll talk about what objects are helpful to have on hand when creating your own patterns:
First off, a pencil, pen, or marker and some paper (when I started I used pencil so I could erase, these days I mostly use brushtip markers if I plan ahead, whatever writing utensil is next to me if I don't. I use cast off empty pages from some stamp albums I got from a neighbor restructuring how he stored his stamp collection several moves ago as my paper, but you can use whatever paper you have on hand) Scissors: if you can, have separate fabric scissors and paper scissors, and do not use the fabric scissors to cut paper. If you can't, it's not the end of the world, it's just something that will make your life a little easier. Having paper scissors with short blades can also help if you are making small things Tape! Not 100% necessary for most patterns, but if you are making big pattern pieces it's very very helpful to be able to tape pieces of paper together Some sort of tool to measure 1/4 inch (or whatever your preferred seam allowance is). I use two mechanical pencils taped together, one tracing the line of the pattern piece, one drawing the seam allowance line. Alternatively, you can use a ruler (takes a long time) a 1/4 square dowel (a little faster but depending on the length of the dowel can be awkward to maneuver), or just kind of eyeball the 1/4 inch seam allowance. To be clear, I do not recommend not measuring the seam allowance, but I have to admit that's the method I use most often these days unless I making a very complexly shaped thing A protractor! This is more of an aspirational thing for me than a thing I actually use, but if I had one it would be very useful. I mean, I do have one, I just don't know where I put it? When you are planning where several pattern pieces come together, like a y or x seam, it can be helpful to measure out the angle the tip of each piece needs to be to get the desired effect (360 degrees for flat, less for pointed, more for ruffled). To be honest, when I need this I either use my quilting ruler, a nearby right angled thing, or look up how to fold an origami thing that has the correct angle in it and use that to measure it (usually a star). Again, it's not necessary, but it is helpful A flexible way to measure curved lines: okay so my first thought when I figured out I needed a way to do this so I could make pattern pieces with different curved lines fit together was measuring tape or yarn. Both will work, but I am going to share my secret weapon: pipe cleaners. Pipe cleaners are so much easier to work with! once you cut or fold them down to the size of the curved seam you measured, you can bend them into the new shape you want the second piece to be, trace it, and your seams will match perfectly! if you bend them instead of cutting them you can use them again and again! None of these extra items are necessary but if you only get one besides writing implement and paper I'd say pipe cleaners. Well, okay, pipe cleaners and a thing that lets you draw the seam allowance on easily, like my "two pencils taped together" method Almost forgot, it can be very helpful to have various sizes of objects you can use to trace circles on hand. Bowls, cups, spools of thread, whatever you have will work for something, it's just good to have it as a tool you can have in your metaphorical pocket when you need it
Hey y'all! I was thinking about trying to share how I create my own plushie sewing patterns, and I'm sure I'll figure out more things to share, but the first thing I start with (once I decide what I want to make) is figuring out what the limiting factors are for the final product
Frequently, the limiting factor is minimum size; there is a minimum amount of width each piece has to have to be able to be turned right side out, so for things like the ant and the giant frog, the narrowest part of the ant legs and frog toes were drawn so that they could be turned right side out, and the rest was scaled to fit Sometimes, the limiting factor is maximum size. For me, this is usually because I have a specific fabric I want to use for the project and only have so much of it left, and must make the pattern small enough to fit the fabric I have. Occasionally, though, the limiting factor size-wise is the construction technique I am using for the plushie. If I am creating something with a fairly flat pattern made of the same pattern piece cut out twice, like the eel, Fred the Fish of Minimal Effort, or either of my frog patterns' bodies, where I am not using darts or gussets to create three dimensions, my size is limited by the stretch of the fabric. It's totally fine to use the stretch of the minky/fleece/other fabric to create the 3D shape, just make sure to take into account that it will only stretch so much, and that to get maximum stretch you'd need to overstuff it (making a plushie less soft). Also keep in mind that depending on your fabric, stretching it in one direction might make it smaller in the other direction One final thing to keep in mind is that your seams will not stretch as much as the rest of your fabric. With stretchy fabric, you can sometimes choose where to put your seams so that you can shape the finished plush as much by where it doesn't stretch as by where it does (this is a thing I know I have done but I can't remember off the top of my head which plushies I used it in, I'll take a look and share a picture of them if I remember)
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permafrown · 8 months ago
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YIKES i am so scared to start selfshipping. I want to kiss spy tf2 so bad How do i Begin how do i stop thinking im cringe as fuck. Ik cringe culture is dead but hes so pretty i canno
BUDDY it's just something you just kinda. Go For. I started self-shipping when I was 16 (so 4 years ago) after like. Shyly asking one of my mutuals in an anonymous ask if they had even considered making one LOL. And they did so I ended up following suit like the day after. There's comfort in knowing other people- especially if you're somewhat close to em- do it too.
Start silly if that's your style. Like you could just be like
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And that's valid enough.
Literally there's no wrong way to to about it, as long as it's fun for you at the end of the day. 👍 AND ONTOP OF EVERYTHING DUDE SPY TF2 IS SUCH AN AWESOME PICK. No matter what I'm nodding my head and supporting you 1,000%
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pup-pee · 1 month ago
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my father telling me how scared he was when i ran away from the house but i cant express how scared i was 2 b in the house
hey, whats up w/that?
#whenever we ‘hang out’ he likes 2 make the topic as depressing as possible by always talking abiut the past#& it is the most annoying shit ever i will not lie BC I DONT WANT 2 TALK ABOUT DEATH & THE ABUSE EVERY TIME I SPEAK 2 U#yk? thag makes sense in my head#anyways he started talking abiut how terrified he was when i had ran away multiple times a couple yrs ago & when i say a couple i mean#i have no idea how long ago bc memory is a bitch#but it had 2 b like middle school - sophmore?#multiple times & like i just wanna shake him bc LITERLLY WHAT & WHO DO U THINK I WAS RUNNING AWAY FROM#GODDAMNN I H8 BING THE ONLY PERSON IN THIS HOUSE WHO CAN EXPRESS EMOTIONS & NOT LET THEM EFFECT HOW I VIEW THE OTHER#‘oh u ran in the park u ran in the park’ i didnt run in the fuckinggppaaarrkrkkkk AAAAAAAAAA I MET A NICE LADY WHO HAD A GOAT IN THE#SPARTMENTS I FRIECIENTED OFTEN WHEN I WAS YOUNGER#i cant express how safe the goddamn goat lady & her kid made me feel vs my parents who started hunting 4 me#like ive been dragged home so many times im not going through that shit again#i miss the goat the mom & the kid we were just chilling @ like midnight 4 a bit#did this turn in2 a vent? idk#i do this a lot ill prolly delete this soonish when im kore calm#bc rn i want 2 chuck bricks in my laundry machine & watch them fly out & hit whatever#im going back 2 watching anime if i have 2 talk 2 1 other person i will actually explode#like irl person not online the silly gay ppl in my phone r super cool & amazing & i love them#im srry 4 bing a dick btw#i cant explain it i mean i could but i cant im just my brain is telling me eveyr1 h8s me & MAN i h8 it when it does#so im just frightened & by golly & am i havign a cheery time yipyipyip#typing in tags is sm easier than in a post bc i dont think most ppl read tags lol#the more i think about my past the more i wonder wtf am i doing here#bc how did i even get out of the house in the 1st place & then ontop of that was able 2 hide#like what……#bc they were fucking grabbing me n shit & they have CARS like i didnt go in the park i walked the sidewalks HOW DID I MOT GET CAUGHT??#MULTIPLE TIMES??? LIKE I ‘ran away’ MULTIPLE TIMES#i didnt exactly run away tho bc i didnt want them 2 file police shit i didnt eant 2 deal w/that & also hirt the pll i stayed over w/#so i always went back. obviously blehhh#ug hj hhhh my heads hurting again this is like the 4th day in a row :((
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