#i wanted to talk abt my inspiration for the line in my fic and and and.......

[nereidprinc3ss]

haunted

in which spencer reid takes you to a haunted house and you're being very brave about it... sort of.

fluff! warnings/tags: reader wears a skirt, reader is a scaredy cat!!, established relationship, kithing, my favs derek and penelope featured, haunted house stuff, talk about the physical composition of human eyeballs and mentions of harvesting them/eating them but it's not serious, FAKE very fake Halloween gore, I know those tags just escalated so quickly my bad, mention of a spooky clown, just haunted house stuff ok!! but its really not a scary fic I promise!!!! a/n: this is for my bff @gublersg1rl !!!! I hope u all like!!!!! Also yes the title was extremely creative I was feeling divinely inspired and revolutionary let’s not talk abt it

“Okay, no, no—maybe we don’t have to go in. I don’t think it’s gonna be that good.”

As you say it you’re wearily eyeing the crowd of screaming teenagers who are sprinting from the haunted house attraction’s exit, leaving a trail a swirling leaves and candy wrappers in their wake. Spencer laughs, gently hugging you back to him as you subconsciously begin to drift away from the line. 

“I knew this would happen.”

“Nothing’s happening.”

“You’re scared. You want to chicken out.”

“I don’t,” you snap, stepping back and adjusting your sweater. “I’m just… I’m cold. I wanna go back to the car.” Spencer does some adjustments of his own, coming close and reaching around you as if going in for a hug but instead tugging your skirt down slightly in the back. You let him finish and then bat his hand away. “Would you stop that?”

“You said you were cold! I’m trying to help you.”

“By making my skirt one inch longer? That’s not going to help.”

He holds his hands up defensively. “Okay. Sorry. I won’t touch.”

Immediately your serrated edge is dulled and you lean against him, barely steering clear of a pout. “No, please. You’re warm. And you’ll protect me.”

He smiles down at you, cheeks and nose nipped sweet pink by the chilly breeze. His hair looks very nice today, his eyes are extra sparkly in the dark, and he’s framed by mostly bare tree branches scattered around the fairground—nothing more than dark palms clawing at the sky, a full white moon cradled in between black branches. The autumnal night is perhaps too cold for the tartan mini skirt you’d chosen, but Spencer told you it looked nice. Of course he doesn’t put up a fight when you slip your arms around his waist under his coat—only wraps his arms around you in return.

“I don’t know if I’ll be able to protect you. But between us Derek and Penelope will bear the brunt of the jump scares.”

“Who said my name?”

You look over your shoulder to where Penelope is shivering despite wearing her own and Derek’s coat, and Derek is eyeing the two of you, enjoying a bag of caramel corn like he doesn’t have a care in the world. 

“Don’t worry about it,” Spencer says, and you laugh to yourself, pulling him even closer like you’re trying to leech the warmth from his body. “Okay, you do have to face forward though. I don’t want you to trip.”

“No, Spencer!” You argue, but he’s already unlatching your arms from his middle and turning you in place. 

“You’re fine,” he chuckles, holding onto your hips. “I’m right here. Be brave.”

The line has begun to move forward again, and this time, it’s not stopping. Your heart pounds as at the behest of a teenaged bloody scarecrow you follow Derek and Penelope into the dark mouth of the red clapboard facade—a sort of farmhouse design that had seemed charming from afar and deeply sinister up close. Speakers play a loud creaking sound over spooky music and your eyes slowly adjust to reveal a foggy corridor lined with doors and creepy paintings.

As soon as the first evil little girl pops out of a doorway, you scream right along with Penelope. 

“Oh, my god,” Spencer laughs under his breath as you stop dead in your tracks, holding the group behind you up. When Penelope and Derek move on, you stay stuck, knowing that the threat has disappeared for the moment but still looms. Spencer gently ushers you forward. “Stay close behind Penelope, and it won’t be as scary. Come on, we have to keep going.”

“I hate this so much.”

But he ignores your comment, guiding you forward down the shadowy hallway and whispering the beginnings of a tangent over your shoulder. 

“You know, the first haunted house attraction was in London in 1915 at a fairground just like this. They picked up in America during the Great Depression as an attempt to distract young hooligans from resorting to property damage for fun.”

“Hooligans?” You mutter, teasing him even while terrified, carefully eyes the suspicious staircase leading up to a fenced in landing, shrouded in darkness. “We’re not going up there, are we?”

Just then a man with a sack over his head and bloody axe emerges from the black, launching himself down the stairs. Again, you scream, this time sprinting out of Spencer’s hold and through a cobweb veil into the next room. 

“Jesus fuck!” You gasp, clutching your chest as someone made up to be a sweet old grandma gone mad and soaked in blood and viscera turns around to greet you with a manic grin. 

“Oh, a pretty girl! Is that you, dear? My long lost granddaughter? Or did I put her in a pie?”

The acting is subpar at best, the script even worse, but what really discomforts you are the bloodied rubber limbs swinging from the ceiling and the fog machine in the corner that keeps burping out thick white clouds with a little hiss. You turn around, running directly into Spencer’s chest. He catches you by the waist and you cling to him, digging your feet in to try and stop either of you from proceeding any closer to your new friend. 

“And your lover—so handsome! Mm, what a delicious pairing you two’ll make! Maybe in my specialty cream of eyeball soup?”

She cackles. Spencer pushes you carefully forward as you peer over his lapel, and he actually stops to look into the woman’s pot as she stirs it. 

“Spencer—”

“You know—the human eyeball is by all accounts difficult to harvest without essentially popping the outer wall of muscle and connective tissue and then you’re losing the structure of the sphere—and stop me if you know this—but water constitutes about 98 percent of vitreous and aqueous humor which in turn make up eighty percent of the total volume of the eye so to say your soup would be cream of eyeball is—”

“Buddy, you’re holding up the line!” Someone shouts from behind, and Spencer offers an awkward apology to the grandma who was beginning to look more and more uncomfortable, hurrying you along through the kitchen from hell. 

“I cannot believe you just did that,” you hiss, still clinging to him. “That poor woman probably thinks you’re a serial killer now.”

“I was trying to humanize her for your benefit—”

Another scream from someone else, another cheap jump scare, cuts him off, and by this point you have your eyes squeezed shut, squeaking at every noise, and Spencer is damn near carrying you through the haunted house, walking you awkwardly backward through the various rooms. 

He cradles the back of your head and presses his lips to your ear as a chainsaw revs somewhere nearby and you hear Derek and Penelope yelping just ahead. “You’re being so brave,” Spencer murmurs, though you don’t miss the smile in his voice. "If I was a malevolent spectre I would definitely steer clear of you. I'd be too intimidated."

“Shut up. Ah!”

“Baby, that was a plant. You know the actors can’t touch you, right? You’re not in any danger.”

“I don’t like being scared, Spencer.”

“Then why did you suggest the haunted house? I said we should do the maze.”

“I don’t know! I—” another man popping out of the wall, another roar that you only hear, sequestered safely against your boyfriend’s coat. “Oh my god, are we almost done? I can’t do this anymore.”

“Yeah, the entrance is right ahead. No more actors, okay? I can see the whole room, it’s totally empty.”

“I bet that's what they want you to think, they lull you into a false sense of security and then—”

Cold air kisses the back of your legs as Spencer walks you toward the door, and the stifled soundscape widens again as you exit the house breathing air that doesn’t smell like sawdust and fog machine juice and fake blood. 

“Nope. We're really all done, see?”

“You survived! Oh my god, I survived!” Penelope calls, and you lift your head from Spencer’s chest, looking up at him. He’s grinning, brushing his thumbs over your cheeks. 

“You honestly handled that better than I thought you would. I actually think I saw the guy dressed as a clown jump when you screamed.”

“If I ever say I wanna do something scary again please don’t listen to me. I hated that so much.”

He examines your face for a moment before determining that despite your rattled nerves, you’ll be okay, and comforts you with a quick peck. “Do you wanna go get caramel apples now?”

“Yes, please. And then can we do the maze, and just like—I don’t know, sit there and… meditate for a little while?”

He chuckles. “Yeah. Just… don’t think about what could be lurking in the corn.”

You give him a little shove. “You know, I only did that haunted house thing because I know how much you love Halloween. I’m being a good girlfriend and what do I get?”

He pulls you close again and kisses your hand. 

“You get a caramel apple,” he says, like it’s obvious, and more than that—worth every trouble in the world. “Come on.”

You give him a begrudging smile and allow him to lead you, hand in hand. Maybe it is. 

[dorotheataylor]

You are in Love

Pairing- Gojo Satoru x fem!Reader

Summary- The three times he realised he loved you, and the one time he said it. Inspired by You are in Love (Taylor’s Version) by Taylor Swift.

Warnings- Its just fluff, a little angst if you squint? SATORU IS WHIPPED (hes so cute😭), best friends to lovers romance, Shoko and Suguru playing cupids, whipped satoru (yes this warning again), swearing (its only one word but still), no curses!au, modern!au, my poor english :p

Word Count- 3.5k words

A/N- Whenever I listen to Taylor, either this guy or his best friend pop up in my head. Like the amount of times I think about them is so insane and I can’t help it anymore. Anyways, here’s another songfic (is this even a surprise atp?) based on another Taylor’s song coz i love that woman so much. Alsoooo it’s my birthday today! And what is better than writing a fic abt your man on your birthday? So I hope y’all enjoy this little birthday gift from me!

The first time Satoru realised he loved you was when you were in college together. It was the last day of the semester before everyone bid farewell to each other and went home for the holiday season. You and him were walking along one pathway coming back from your Christmas shopping, snow falling softly around everyone’s body, and a chill in the air that made everyone want to snuggle up beside the fireplace in their houses.

Suguru and Shoko had joined you both too but then excused themselves to leave you two alone, hoping that the romantic ambiance of the holiday season would finally give Satoru the confidence to tell you how he felt.

To say he was a nervous wreck was an understanding. He had spent the whole afternoon talking to himself in the mirror, practicing what he would say so that he won't stumble on his words and ruin the moment.

He didn't have a problem talking to you as he normally does; you were his best friend after all, like Suguru and Shoko, but once he tries to tell you that you make his heart beat faster, make butterflies flood his stomach, it makes him lose all his senses. Suguru had to drag him out of his room, complaining about waiting for 'thirty fucking minutes' already.

Eventually, he met you and Shoko at the front gate of his house and walked with you towards the mall. The entire day, he felt so jittery, like he couldn’t stay still. You remained oblivious to the fact that Satoru was about ready to burst from the inside from how nervous he was.

Suguru and Shoko, on the other hand, couldn’t contain their laughter. By the time the sky began to fade into the night sky, Suguru and Shoko decided that now was as good of a time than ever and made up an excuse to leave the two of you alone. 

Now here you were, walking beside Satoru, bundled up in your white scarf, and the cutest red blush on the tip of your nose. You readjusted your beanie, looking up at him to start conversation. Satoru felt his words get stuck in his throat, unable to remember how to speak with you staring up at him with the twinkle of oblivion in your eye.

"Toru?" you asked bumping your shoulder with him, noticing his uneasy expressions as you wrapped an arm around yourself to get some warmth as the snow had started to fall little more harshly, "am I that boring that your mind had to drift somewhere else?"

"God no." He blushed, finally able to say something without stumbling. Without thought, he wrapped one of his arm around you, bringing you closer to him. You sighed in content, melting into him and Satoru swore his heart swelled three times its size.

The snow crunched under your boots as you walked up the path. The lights lining the cobblestone street gave a yellow tint to the sight. He walked with you in silence but in his head, he was going over exactly what he wanted to say. This was the perfect time.

The snow falling from the sky, little snowflakes tangled in the strands of your hair. You were pressed up against his chest, so close to him that he could smell your perfume, sweet and addicting. There were no other people around, all too eager to find sanctuary in warmth that their houses brought. It was the perfect time.

He stopped walking, halting you with him. He let you go for a moment, taking a deep breath in and slowly let it out. You watched as the cloud of fog escaped his lips and dispersed into the air. His white hair poked out from under his hoodie, matted on his forehead. Satoru looked down at his wet boots, kicking around snow that pooled around the soles.

Finally, he looked up, taking your two hands into his palms in the process. 

You smiled at the gesture, your heart fluttering in your chest. You looked at him, offering a comforting look as you raised your eyebrows up in suspicion, “What’s up, Toru?”

And just like that, all of the words he worked so hard to conjure up, slipped right out of his mind. When he saw you looking up at him, eyebrows raised, cheeks and nose tinted with a light shade of pink, and your lips plump and red, he realized that there were no words to describe what it was he felt about you.

You watched him in silence, studying the way he gave you a lopsided smile when you tucked a piece of his hair behind his ear. He leaned into your touch, letting out another sigh of relief. 

“Nothing,” he finally spoke, letting go of your hands. He wrapped his arm around you again, hoping you won’t hear the marching of his heart in his chest. “You’re my best friend.”

-

The second time he realised he loved you was when he found you crying on your couch. He had came to check on you when you didn’t come over for the routine movie night. Every Saturday, you, him, Suguru and Shoko got together at each other’s places for movie nights. Laughter, jokes, entertainment, talks, drinks and what not went on full night and the next day all of you were passed out on either couch or the floor.

Today everyone was coming over at Satoru’s place. Suguru and Shoko were already there but when it kept getting late, Satoru became worried about you. Shoko tried assuring him you were okay, just stuck in some work but he wouldn’t believe it. Because you were time punctual and never missed the movie nights.

So he came over to yours and opened your door with the spare key you’d given him only to find you curled up in your couch, crying.

He immediately rushed over to you and wrapped his arms around you tightly as you held onto him. He didn’t say anything but stayed there, holding you, feeling his heart break as you sobbed into his chest.

A few moments later, when he felt you relaxing a little, he took your face in his hands as he asked, “better?”

You just nodded as you snuggled into him. Neither of you two said anything, a comfortable silence, just sitting there on your couch, engulfing each other, enjoying each other’s company.

“Now tell me what happened?” he asked softly when your crying had quieted down, afraid you might break again.

“It’s nothing. I just- its too much. Work, studies, family, everything. I just got too overwhelmed and just couldn’t keep it in anymore. And I had nobody present here for me to tell me that its okay or listen about what I felt.” You said now realising what mess you had made and quite embarrassed that Satoru had to see you this vulnerable. “God this is embarrassing! I’m so sorry.”

“Hey look at me.” He said, cupping your cheeks to make you look at him when you didn’t. “Everyone in this world has a vulnerable side. Everyone on this planet has things which is maybe too much overwhelming for them that they might just break at any point. Just like you did. But don’t ever apologise for this. Because none of it is your fault. Okay? And I’m always here for you. Even if you’re far away, I’ll always be there. You’re not alone, okay?”

You just nodded and gave him the smile he adored so much. And without saying anything else, he wrapped both of his arms around you once again, letting you rest your head on his chest. He kissed your forehead and hummed in content as you snuggled even closer to him if possible.

And as he looked down at the girl in his arms, he realised this is what he wanted for the rest of his life. He loved you. 

-

The third time he realised he loved you was after summer. He hadn’t talked or heard from you since 4 months.

You left without a goodbye or a message to god knows where. He'd tried searching for you but always ended up getting disappointed. Suguru and Shoko missed you too. They had helped him to find you too but to no avail. It was like you’d disappeared into thin air.

Satoru often wondered if you ever thought about him like he did, if you missed him like he did. He knew you were probably out there pursuing your dream career, which you'd always talked about and wanted to do, but a part of him wanted to be there with you. To support and cheer for you at every step you take, to give you advices, to have late night celebration for your achievements. Call him selfish and everything. Everyday that passed, he cursed himself for not telling you how he felt before you left. Would it have made any difference? He’d like to think so. Even if it didn’t, he, at least, wouldn’t have to live every single day thinking: “What if?”

He kept a picture of you in his office. He often looked at it whenever he was free, always wondering how you were doing, if you were okay or not. Suguru and Shoko always found this sight pitful. They had tried to get him to move on, but all of them knew that Satoru was so in love with you and you were special to all three of them and that nobody could ever take your place.

It wasn’t until six months later when you stumbled into the building, chewing nervously on your bottom lip. A part of you knew you didn’t have the right to be there because you left them with no warning. You wouldn’t blame them if they asked you to leave the premises the minute their eyes landed on you. You knew you deserved the cold shoulder. Because if they were the ones who did that to you, you knew you wouldn’t be so forgiving.

The receptionist had told you to wait while she checked if the three of them were free or not. As you waited, you smiled sadly at the memories of last six months. You had gone for higher studies, as your dad had promised, for your dream career. You knew you should’ve at least informed someone before you left but everything happened just so fast that one moment your dad had agreed on your consent and the next moment you were on the plane.

Surely you enjoyed the studies and training period there, Paris being busy in days and nights, but having really nice places to visit. You would always go to the Eiffel tower, watching the sunset, half expecting for Satoru to wrap his arm around your waist but whenever you turned your head you’d always met with empty space. Whenever you came home exhausted, you always expected Satoru to be there with dinner ready and him greeting you with a welcome home kiss.

That’s why you came back. To be in his arms. To be able to kiss him. To be able to call him yours. Because you’d realise that your life was nothing if Gojo Satoru wasn’t in it.

The receptionist told you to go upstairs at floor 5 but as you were about to click the lift button, you heard someone running on the stairs. You turned to look who it was and your eyes locked with a pair of blue ones which were close to home. He just looked at you and slowly stepped towards you as you did the same.

When you were both closer to each other, he brought his hand up, touching your cheeks delicately as if making sure you were real.

Satoru couldn’t believe it. When the receptionist called him and said that someone named Y/N L/N was here to meet him, he left all his works and ran downstairs. And now that he’d seen you, he was mesmerised and shocked. Shocked because you were really here and mesmerised because you looked even more beautiful than before. He touched your cheeks delicately, making sure you were really here and not another one of his hallucinations. And then without another thought he took you into his arms and held you tight and closer to him, now promising himself to never let you go. All the feelings he still had for you, tripled. His heart rumbled in his chest, adrenaline pumping through his veins. Even after all this time, he was still so in love with you.

“No need to tell me where you were. Because I already know.” You were tearing up as you finally felt complete in his arms and realised how much you loved him.

“Don’t ever leave me like that again.” He said as he was starting to tear up too. He loved you so much and the thought of being apart once again was killing him.

“I won’t. Ever again. I promise.”

-

It didn’t take long for Satoru to tell you how he felt after you came back. He couldn’t hold it in any longer. Every moment that he didn’t get to call you his, chipped his heart. Both Shoko and Suguru were growing tired of it, encouraging him to just say it because they were sure you felt the same. He tried to ignore them, not wanting to get his hopes up, but he couldn’t help but think about how amazing it would feel if you told him you loved him back.

You came over to Satoru’s for dinner that night, Suguru insisted that they all missed you too much to go out to a restaurant. After dinner and catching up with everyone, you and Satoru excused yourselves and walked out in the garden. His hands were in his pockets, unable to look at you for more than a few seconds at a time. He’s been practicing what to say to you since years and yet, he still felt unprepared.

You were walking silently beside him, taking in the silence and calmness of the life you’re living now. You no longer had to worry about anything, just the day to day necessities, and your feelings for Satoru. Subconsciously, you intertwined your fingers with his snuggling up to his side for some warmth.

He froze for a moment. This is it, he thought, this is the perfect moment. So before he lost his confidence, he spoke, “Y/N, I have something to tell you.”

“Yes, Toru?” you asked, rubbing your thumb over the top of his hand. “What is it?”

There it was. He missed it. He missed the way you called him ‘Toru’. And now finally hearing it from you made his heart skip many beats.

He held you in your place, stopping in the middle of a field of flowers. The moon illuminated one side of your face, showing off your perfect features. Satoru smiled, reaching over to caress your cheekbone. With tears in his eyes, he said, “I love you.”

You gasped softly, looking up at him, “What?”

“I’m in love with you, Y/N,” Satoru sighed, connecting his forehead with yours. He closed his eyes for a moment, letting out a breathy laugh, “I’ve been in love with you for so long.”

You slowly brought your hand to his face and cupped his cheek as he melted in your touch. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"I was afraid of what you'd say. I didn't want to ruin our friendship and lose you. I just thought that maybe if you didn't love me like that, I'd still have you. Even if it's just as your best friend."

"Then why now?" you asked, you voice getting even quieter. He kissed the palm of your hand as he met your eyes.

"Because after all those years of crushing on you, all those months of not being able to see you or be in your arms, made me realise how much in love I was with you. All those six months, you consumed all of my thoughts, your laughter was all I could hear in my silent nights, your smile was all I could see everywhere I went. And not being able to tell you how much I loved you was killing me." He finished, tears flowing uncontrollably from his eyes.

You didn't know when your eyes started tearing up. All you knew was how much you loved him at this moment. Him confessing all his feelings for you, so vulnerably. It made you realise how much you just wanted to hold him and never let him go.

So you said, "I'm in love with you too, Satoru."

At first he thought his ears were playing tricks on him. You loved him back? His eyes shot open, pulling away from you as he stared at you in disbelief. “Y-you love me?”

"Yes, you idiot." You chuckled through your tears, pulling him closer. Your lips ghosted over his, causing him to shiver. "I've been in love with you for a really long time as well."

"I'm really an idiot, aren't I?" he said, laughing a little.

"Yes, you are. But you're my idiot."

And with that, he kissed you. All those years where he hid his feelings came pouring out in this one kiss. His hands cupped your cheeks, pulling your face closer to his like there was any more space between the two of you to close. Your arms looped around his neck, his one hand snaked down to your waist to steady you while one still remained on your cheek. He kissed you, pouring in all his regrets, mistakes, apprehensions, into his love, no longer wanting to pass up an opportunity to love you for the rest of his life.

And when he pulled back for air, he had the biggest smile on his face. "I'm the luckiest man on this earth." You pecked him again as you gave him your biggest grin.

On your way back home, you could feel it, you could hear it in the silence, you could see it with the lights out in the garden. It lingered between you two, suffocating you but it was the best feeling ever. Gojo Satoru is in love with you. You are in love.

[velvees-archive]

art cr: @cokiicookies on twitter

Tags: Love Confessions, Bratfeen, Art Student Feenie, Law Student Bratworth, Ace Attorney-typical cringefail, Canon Divergence

and many others!

HEAVILY inspired by @cokiicookies's bratfeen art on twitter! check out the full comic there!!!

"Hey...so...uh..." Phoenix coughs out, voice scratchy from his most recent line repetitions. It's a small mistake, not unsalvageable. All he has to do is stick to the script. Stick to the script. Stick... His eyes flick down to his note cards. He swears he’d printed them in his best penmanship, atop one of the library's extra premium desks, but everything is spinning and he feels faintly like he's going to throw up. "Did you uh," he starts, letters swirling in his eyes. "Did...you fall out of heaven...?" Genius prosecutor-in-training Miles Edgeworth regards him with a blank stare. Phoenix thinks now would be an opportune time for him to locate the nearest possible bridge and promptly jump off of it. - The joys and woes (mostly woes) of being in love, as told by BratFeen.

so i caved and wrote narumitsu. another huge thank you to @cokiicookies on twitter for allowing me to write an accompanying fic for their work. i attached some of the comic here in an attempt to entice you to look at their comic (well? are you enticed?!), but if you wanna see the full thing, please do give their art a like, a retweet, a comment, and all the love on twitter! fic screenshots below:

misc commentary/musings under the cut :)

the way i wrote feenie inner monologue and narration parallels my informal writing style, so writing his freak outs weren't challenging. consciously changing sentence structures/verbiage to be more or less extra, on the other hand, totally was.

the bulk of my pain came from writing fluff in the first place, stumbling through dialogue exchanges (as always), and attempting larry dialogue...all of which i honestly think i failed at pretty badly HAHA. who cares tho? it's my work!

bratfeen is one of my favorite narumitsu "eras" if you will. i've always wanted to write them. i didn't know the opportunity would come so soon (and at my expense considering i still have a zine fic to finalize for a diff fandom), but i took the shot. the full fic was written over the course of a day which i do not recommend anyone experience. i was on a writing hiatus for months and wrote 8k words as soon as i came back. do you see why i burnt out in the first place?

the easiest part about writing bratfeen is that none of the things i write are exaggerated for the purpose of carrying the plot forward. feenie believing that bratworth is better of a human being than everyone makes him out to be? sounds about right. feenie insisting to others that miles is the best thing since grilled cheese? his raging savior complex says that's likely to occur. feenie fumbling the bag because he thinks miles is the prettiest thing he's ever seen? yeah, 20 y/o feenie would! feenie shoving the asshole who talked shit abt miles? we saw the exact same thing with doug swallow (and we all know how that ended...). all of it is in line w his character. also miles being a try hard. that's a given.

i am hoping i can showcase more of my technical skill aka the angst writer in me with my next work, though i've been closely following fictober (haven't been publishing because, again, zine fic obligations) and have plenty of angsty fics stored in my drafts. i hope you enjoy my poor attempt at humor and fluff. may i muster the strength to finish the rest of my zine fic...please...

[dearreaders-things]

rambling directors commentary of my vampire!au julian x mc fic? yes? yes.

i mentioned it on ao3 but: inspired by the lovely vampire headcanons post from @iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia bc who doesn't love a vampire's s/o offering their blood to be drunk?

title! bittersweet ugh this one absolutely fell into place while i was writing, i loved it and immediately went in to make sure it was like a recurring motif through the whole fic

i did consider spelling it bittersuite, shout out billie eilish, but ultimately decided against it because the "suite" doesn't quite fit or make sense with the story. however i LOVE that song and listened to it a lot while writing. probably the vibes match.

that one tumblr post abt julian saying upsy-daisy when someone's fallen? yes.

but i love writing him as like a Doctor!! that man is a Scientist and i'm tired of ppl pretending he's not! all the talk of recessive genes and unfalsifiable hypotheses and scalpels, yeah that was a nice lens to look through

dude maybe the most fun part of writing vampire stuff is deciding what lore to fold in. completely disregarding things if you feel like it and getting to add whatever you want? very cool. i mean, such is the nature of folklore :D

i think the vampire backstory of this was also inspired by ali hazlewood's novel bride. shout out to that.

the "metal burns you" stuff i'm pretty sure is from fae stuff? anyways that was a cool association. i also really liked finding a reason to give astrella, my oc, scars in this au. i feel like my fics lately have been a big flashing sign saying "author has dermatillomania!!!" but anyways

also the symbolism with astrella touching something she shouldn't?? mhm mhm that was such a good moment when i noticed it

also also it gave me a reason for her and julian to have matching gloves, which is an image that held over from a different fic of mine (obv in that one it's canonverse so the reason for it was they were both plague doctors. but still.)

sensory description is big in this fic and i love it. also the different kind of levels of mental awareness, going from kinda sixth sense for heartbeats stuff in the beginning then going into the full on psychic bond by the end? chef's kiss. i got a chance to use sooo many tasty words.

“Even before you knew what I am. How many times have you offered up your neck for my teeth?” was the first line i had in mind for this fic. i mean you can see why. look at it.

ok if you made it this far thank you for coming to my ted talk, can you tell i had so much fun writing this

let me know if you enjoyed this rambling, i might write up some more thoughts on the other fics i've written recently! (they probably won't be anywhere near this long lmao i just have feelings)

[pocketwei]

Hello !

As a fellow artist, I really admire your style, and would like to study it.

In that spirit, would you be OK to tell us a little bit about your process ?

I hope you have a great day and I look forward to seeing your future pieces !

Woah, this is high praise, thank you so much 🥹 And thank you for allowing me to nerd abt process hahaha, I love to talk abt this stuff! Drawing is so much fun honestly

For process, I'm not sure if you mean more the actual process of crafting the art, or rather the thought-process that goes into it, so I'll briefly cover both! I'll just talk abt my personal/fanart practice since I think this is what the "style" part refers to? As in, I won't mention process for, say, storyboards or backgrounds I make for animation.

Under the cut bc long answer!!

A piece usually begins with an idea, it's often inspired by something I see or hear, by something that comes up in a conversation with friends, by something I read in a fic, etc. And imo, the most crucial aspect of my creative practice is narration; it's the thing I strive to perfect and polish the most. What do I want to say with this piece, which story do I want to tell. Before I even start sketching, I usually have an idea of the intention I want for a piece, and with enough experience, at some point you start guessing what "visual devices" you should use to render that mood. E.g. if I have an idea that involves a really suffocating mood, a feeling of tension, one of the basic ways to go about it is to crowd your piece, have it more zoomed-in and in longer focal length so the perspective is flattened. Similarly, you'll often choose not to show your character whole (especially not their feet, with which they could flee!) or the floor (which is a way out for the character), you have many overlapping objects, etc. Knowledge of these "visual devices" honestly come with time, and sometimes they sound super basic, but they do the trick, and they're not hard to spice up and make more original when you keep your mood/intention in mind.

Then comes storyboarding/sketching! It's the most important part to me, because this is where you decide how you're going to tell your story. Sketching is the most exciting part, you can let your mind speak and find creative ways to spice up the "visual devices" you've figured out at the initial thinking step. I think one of the greatest advices I got, ever, was from my storyboard professor, who told us to always keep in mind that a picture (moving or not) is ALWAYS a 2D surface, and that it should be treated as such when storyboarding. I.e. when you board, think of your image as an arrangement of shapes on a flat surface, rather than a 3D scene. You can figure out the logistics and the perspective in lineart, but for storyboard, composition has to be prioritised over a well-constructed room, bc otherwise you'll just draw the same things over and over.

It depends on the pieces, but nowadays I prefer to just clean up the sketch rather than do a whole clean line on top of it, as not to lose the spontaneity and dynamism of the sketch. Lineart is about making things look pretty and nice to look at, but it's also a step where you can reinforce your initial intention with details. It can be details of anatomy (giving an expression, working on your characters' anatomy to make it expressive (what story does this body tell)), or of environment (what does this place mean for my characters, why are they here, what does it tell about them). For this I use truckloads of references!!!! Super important. Either from other artists, especially for anatomy details or line efficiency (matanai_ke, nisir0, nonebrainer on twt, whose styles I've been really digging recently), or from pictures/real life for enviros. No one's born with the ability to come up with a plausible baroque interior so get those refs! Lineart is honestly one of the steps I enjoy most, I spend the longest time on it because I need it to be perfect and tell exactly what I want to tell. I'm working on improving my linework quality because I feel terrible abt it ahjdsf

Then I do a coloursketch. My approach of colours is painterly (applying colours directly as they appear) rather than the neutral flats + coloured filters workflow, which do work great for beginners however, and I did my time in the mines with it as well asdjfh...... I usually apply an underpaint layer as shown below, usually then place lights first, and then work my way through all the elements.

Sometimes my underpaint is bright and saturated, sometimes it's more muted and darker: again, it all depends on the intention of the piece! I do this to visualise better and to contextualise the colours I'll paint on top of this base. The yellow in the top-left screenshot gives a warm touch to the wood-browns, even though they're not actually super saturated! With the bottom-right, the pink gives a colder aspect to the teals/greens and makes them more "aggressive", as it's their complementary colour. It also bears a narrative purpose: on the bottom-right screenshot, I wanted pink to seep from the edges of every shape, and purposefully left the edges jagged and rough instead of cleaning up the painting perfectly. Bright pink like this is not only a crazed colour, but it also represents Doflamingo, and in this case, it fit the intention to have him and this madness as the backdrop of a scene that doesn't involve him, but to which he is the unspoken key and center (Monet is hallucinating/projecting that it's Dof looking down on her, when it's actually Law). As if his presence was underlying the very materiality of the scene.

God that was long. Then comes rendering, which I hate with my guts because I don't know how to do it and if I could get away with only colour sketches for the rest of my life I would!!!! I hate spending time on colour details and rendering materials and polishing brushwork I just hate this step :')

And finally, compositing!! Slap some grain* on this bad boy, slight chromatic aberration in the corners if we're feeling fancy, perhaps a bit of field blur... chromatic aberration is to mimic cameras! it's a physical effect of the lens, and having it on illustrations give them a more cinematographic quality.

*in a non-destructive way I BEG!!!! Quick grain tutorial for the poor souls who still merge everything -> filter -> noise!!! 1. Create a gray layer with HSV at 0, 0, 50 2. filter -> noise as you'd normally do 3. set blending mode to overlay so your grain is more visible the darker your colours are (like for a real camera! grain is an artifact created when there isn't enough light in your captor) (I won't get into the maths of overlay but it's quite fascinating, basically it multiplies the value of pixels that are V>50 and "divides" the value of pixels that are V<50, while pixels that are V=50 like our initial grey layer, it doesn't change the value of the pixel underneath it) and 4. set opacity to ~20% depending on what you want or need

and tadah! you have an illustration. how cool!! there are still many things I need to work on, but it's a very fun exploration everytime :'D I feel glad that I've reached a point where I somewhat know what I'm doing, it made drawing so much more fun in the past year. Good luck w your own endeavours!!!

[wanderingblindly]

1) Would love to hear more abt the LN biography plot if you're willing to share

2) I read the stockings fic right before I went to work which meant that when I was having a team meeting later on in the day, my coworkers were talking about data management and I was thinking abt how how lando's toes were pointed up at the ceiling in his pretty stockings while he got fucked for the first time. This fic corrupted part of my brain, fuck you / thank you 🧡

2 ) I desperately need you to know that I WANTED Oscar to notice that lando had his toes pointed so he could ask if Lando wanted heels next time, to help keep his feet up but it DIDN'T FUCKING FIT IN THE FIC GOD DAMMIT OSCAR PIASTRI --

anyways. SO flattered that my writing ruined you enough to distract you from the riveting content that is data management <33333

1 ) I'd love to talk about it!!!! Here's the snippet, for those needing context <3

So the general idea was kinda inspired by Kimi, who does have an authorized biography -- which I've always found kind of odd, considering he's so famously private. Regardless, the author was a Finnish writer with no meaningful connection to motorsport, meaning they served as a complete outsider perspective with no preconceived notions about the sport, Kimi's reputation, etc..

It got me thinking about a future in which Lando -- not yet having won a WDC but getting very close -- does the same thing; but what if Oscar's the outsider following him around, learning about him through interviews and late nights at his flat in Monaco and the eyes of paddock interviews he's able to skirt around?

How would Lando, someone with such a contentious relationship with media (too emotional, too insecure, too volatile, not championship worthy), handle having media in his inner circle? Would he even let him into his inner circle to begin with?

And how would Oscar's perspective change throughout the narrative, how would his written word about racing driving Lando Norris -- professional, observant, polished -- eventually stray from his growing thoughts about Lando -- endeared, curious, a bit smitten?

Basically, I want to follow Lando through an entire season.

I want their relationship to ebb and flow -- moments where Lando hesitantly lets Oscar see more of him, only to shut him out the next moment.

I want them to toe this weird line between professionalism and personal care, something blurred through hundreds of hours together and intimate details capture on a dictaphone -- tucked closed to Oscar's heart in his jacket pocket.

[qprpbj]

do you have any tips on how to start writing fics?

the outsiders brainrot actually has me coming up with ideas and i have a desire to start writing them into actual stories but i've never written outside of class papers/assignments and i don't really know where/how to start since it's all just my own prompts and ideas and there's no grading rubric lmaoooo

like do you plan out each fic with a list first or do you just start writing about the main plot point of the chapter and fill in out of order or do you just start writing and see where it takes you... do you do any research while you're planning or pull from other authors/fics/posts or write from experience...

how do you decide when to stop writing or decide on which endings/paths/plot points to go with... the deadly combo of indecisiveness and perfectionism along with having no guidelines or due dates is crippling me so im asking some of my fav authors (who have also been inspiring me to write and be creative)

wait hi this is so sweet thank you!!! 🥹🥹 i will preface All This (sorry i yapped so much lol) by. i’ve been writing fic for like ten years and i think a lot of my old fic, while deeply cringe and awful, was all very important to getting me where i am today where i feel i can accurately get across what im trying to say!!!

first. hone your ideas!!! try to find a good niche you feel comfortable in (but also. don’t limit your creativity!!!). idk for me it’s easier to start specific and small rather than super general bc then i have Tooooo much freedom u know. i think my niche sorta across fandoms is generally softer dialogue, exploring close siblings or familial or friendship bonds an dynamics through situation, a lot of fluff, maybe a lil hurt comfort

i basically exclusively write in order! unless i get a really cool line/paragraph in my head that i write out and save for later to fit in somewhere. i usually have a like one-line idea that just Comes to me (ex. this was my entire line idea that turned into that pony getting jumped fic!)

then i’ll expand it a little more into a shitty little paragraph (ex. here’s a few!!!)

and then tbh after that i just kinda write everything in order from top to bottom from there. i wish i were more organized tbh and writing long fic/chaptered stuff is still sooo hard for me (which is why i don’t do it much yet lol) but im really trying to break out of it!! slowly we are learning!!! retaining the inspo and drive necessary to write that much is harddddd lmfao

before writing i always do have a solid idea where i want it to start and go and end though. like that ponyboy jumping fic i Knew i wanted to have pony get jumped in the opening scene, then go home, try to break down cutting his own hair, brothers come in and talk him down and it ends with talking abt johnny, even if i didn’t like. List that all out in words in a document.

definitely do research!!! espppp for outsiders bc it was like 60 years ago!!! well researched fics are soooo obviously tonally different and it’s always super obvious imo when that sort of care is put into ur writing. that fic i wrote about darry getting a panic attack was important researching bc panic attacks weren’t well known or researched or even Called panic attacks back then, so it’d be hella jarring seeing like 1967 13y/o pony whip out “you’re having a panic attack darry 🤓👆” yk lmfaoo

i SOO get the perfectionism and having no due dates thing btw. i have literally like 5 fics i’ve started and not finished in my docs rn with like 15 more ideas i wanna write someday. tbh! try to enter that Hyperfixation Zone and be really excited about what you’re making!!! helps it go by easier bc i swear sometimes i’ll write fic and it feels like pulling teeth even though it’s supposed to be fun!!!

last thing. try and find friends to bounce ideas off of and go crazy with you <3 or ppl to beta read!!! makes writing SO much easier and sm more fun having a your own lil personal cheerleader!!! if you ever need a beta id be soooo happy to read whatever you’ve got and hype u up!!! <3 i hope this helped at least a little bit LOL my writing process is kinda chaotic ngl

[hanasnx]

hey! i can't stop thinking abt i was made for loving you and it's the middle of the night when im writing this pls so don't mind the ramble of questions im about to throw at you or just ignore it if they make no sense haha

this concept was so interesting! i also super enjoyed the ask about reader beginning to avoid logans touch, imma a sucker for a good angst, but it did have me thinking…

would he care if she wanted to find physical fulfillment in someone else, or would he only care because it was stepping outside of her vows?

did he marry her because it was the most secure way to have a continued hand in taking care of her or because he wanted her as a wife? i saw that you mentioned the reader being one of his strays, does he view her romantically? of course he loves her, but is it a platonic love? does his love edge closer to parental than anything else? was marriage just the best way he could protect and care for her? we've seen how strong logan's father instincts are

i keep thinning abt the angst of being on the knives of edge of all you've ever wanted, but being unsure if you're all he's wanted in return or if you were a duty for him to fulfill

idk these are the thoughts i was having while trying to picture myself in her shoes, thanks for writing such a lovely piece! <3

no problem i love questions & inbox messages. you’re all good

i care a lot for the dynamic in the IWMFLY drabble it was a very vulnerable piece for me to write. i also enjoyed the ask that talked about reader’s continued and evolving reactions to it so i’m glad you did too

inside of the drabble i think it mentioned that reader doesn’t want anyone else. to put it plainly, physical attention means nothing to her if it’s from anyone else other than logan. so she won’t seek outside sources, and even if she wanted to, she wouldn’t let herself bcos of the sanctity of her own marriage she agreed to. there are plenty of ppl that can do open relationships, but this is not an example of one at least not in its prime form aka IWMFLY

if reader thought maybe, just maybe, she’d want to try it out just to see if anything would help, logan would actually try to be supportive in his own way. he has concerns, but in this rare case he doesn’t voice them bcos he doesn’t actually know how to. for a while you’d try to find someone, but you’d compare them to logan and everythng would just fizzle out. logan would think about how you’re out doing stuff he can’t be there for and feel that concern creep up on him again and it would be a catalyst to communicating with you about how he’s not ready for this but if its real important to you he’d try. but you’re not ready for it either so the open relationship experiment doesn’t continue

as for the paragraph about why he wanted to marry her, all of it is very accurate. marriage was the best way to keep her close and protected. it was largely inspired by his platonic relationship with rogue in the x-men movies and how he views her as a friend with an edge of parental protectiveness, and she has a complex crush and admiration for him and sees him as a trustworthy companion. so bottom line reader and my fic is inspired by rogue.

logan still doesn’t know he collects strays, is always reluctant about it, and it first he was hesitant with you too but he fell too fast. he couldn’t leave you behind and he couldn’t let some other guy who’d treat you like crap make an honest woman out of you. it had to be him. and you said yes, and he’s sure you knew what you were getting into. he does feel parental and platonic over you. you are important to him and he’s obligated to you by choice, and marriage was a way to do that and to prove that devotion

loved this ask :)

[liverpool-enjoyer]

footballers proposing/getting proposed to

requested by my homeboy @sztrapacska!!! ty luv <3 ik i cant pull the "i HaD sChOoL" excuse for my lateness this time so i'll jus be honest,,, i got hit w the inspiration bug n wrote a whole ass fic. abt a proposal. so i was a lil distracted. speaking of proposals actually,,,

leo: tbh it could go either way, with him proposing or getting proposed to. in the moment, he'll be really calm and collected, not at all like youd imagine someone who just experienced one of the happiest times of their life to be like. but the second he gets home hes bursting into happy tears.

ney: he gets proposed to, only cause he straight up kinda forgets about marriage as a concept. hes like "yeah we're dating and everythings fine and cool so why bother." so when leo gets sick and tired of waiting for his ass and pops the question himself neys caught TOTALLY off guard.

christian: one morning he'll be talking to his partner about wedding plans, n when he notices the extremely confused look on their face hes like "...oh SHIT i knew i was forgetting something."

lewy: oh lewandowski my beloved. hes a gun jumper. he rushes to propose prematurely without thinking of whether he and thomas are really ready for it. in fact,,, if you would like to know more about said proposal,, maybe you could read more about it here,,, (yeah its a shameless plug ok)

muller: angsty fic that i poured my heart and soul into aside, lets say thomas says yes. within five minutes of getting engaged, EVERYONES gonna know about it. hes running up to his friends and shoving his left hand in their faces so they can get a good look at the ring n hes like "!!! ROBERT AND I ARE GETTING MARRIED!!!" its very cute, actually.

trent: drunkenly proposes to and marries an equally drunk robbo because they thought it would be funny.

sergio: though he'll deny it to ANYONE who even suggests it, hes the BIGGEST fuckin romantic when it comes to luka. so when it comes time to ask him to marry him hes not pulling any punches. dude plans a whole candlelit anniversary dinner at home with romantic spanish music playing in the background. how can luka say no.

luka: lukas not stupid, he sees the proposal coming from a MILE away (his friends suddenly inquiring about his ring size, sergio acting particularly jittery the weeks leading up to their anniversary, etc), but that doesnt mean hes any less happy. its weird, even though he totally sees it coming, he still cries like a mf (tears of joy, ofc).

alisson: now, he wants virgil to marry him, but he also wants to experience getting proposed to. so what does he do??? he "accidentally" leaves engagement ring catalogs lying around his and virgils place, and makes sure the tv always happens to be on the channel that shows reruns of say yes to the dress.

virgil: falls for it hook line and sinker. within a month of alisson putting his little plan into action, virgils dishing out the money for a ring. when it comes time to actually ask the question, hes SUPER nervous. so nervous, in fact, dude straight up forgets about the whole kneeling part. he jus takes out the ring and,,, asks. ali wouldnt have it any other way.

[irrealisms]

every hand is a storm liner notes

fic here if you haven't read it!

fic title is from the red ending of we know the devil; it's about lesbian desire and monstrosity and knowing that you are hurting people by Wanting and by Touching.

honestly this is. a very personal fic to me. I Have Been Both Of These People. more directly/longer/worse on the vitalasy side but i have also entered relationships i didn't want and Claimed To Want Them because i felt like i owed it to them. this is just what it's like to be 15 i think. just gonna lead off with that.

on the one hand i feel like this fic has some of my most "oh this is definitely An AU and not very accurate to their canon characters" moments but on the other hand it has significant amounts of dialogue taken directly from VODs. primary inspiration was Shining Resolve/Fake Smile but i drew from a few others as well, esp Anchor/Learning to Communicate. also the moment where vitalasy joins the server post-betrayal and zam just starts fucking Screaming and Running Away. i need you all to know i rewatched every single eclipse fed meeting for this fic guys. as well as a number of sign rooms. the conclusion i have drawn from this is that they are so fucking problems

one of the major themes/throughlines in this fic is Trust. zam trusts vitalasy (not to hurt her for having opinions); zam trusts subz (and therefore should trust vitalasy); zam trusts vitalasy (to want the right things, and therefore zam should want them too); zam talks about subz and vitalasy trusting her (with, like, specific things). the Conflation there. the way vitalasy takes zam expressing the last thing as zam believing the first thing. the way vitalasy's ending is i trusted you and part of that is "i trusted you (not to betray me)" but a larger part of that is "i trusted you (to be honest with me so that i wouldn't hurt you)". they are both constantly talking themselves into trusting each other and, uh, they shouldn't.

btw when zam's video came out and had a line about trusting vitalasy and how he Had To it was so awesome for me (working on this fic)

some fun little notes on bits of the fic: when zam is having doubts abt the plan to put mapicc and ro in bedrock prison witch labyrinth, this is related to ... zam was also on team awesome's side, yk? i haven't gotten much chance in my pmmm au fics thus far to go in much detail on the dupe war but let it be known that Team Awesome Did Very Much Kill Some Guys. when zam is like "why should we get to decide, what makes us better than them, etc" this is related to .... what makes her, specifically, better than them? she did very much also kill those guys! and of course to subz and vitalasy it is like. dude they are Stalking You. you are our teammate and they are stalking you.

another little note: zam's nightmare is not about kissing vitalasy. it is very specifically about being kissed by vitalasy. this is a fact that would both make vitalasy so so so mad and haunt her forever if she knew it.

in general theres another major Theme going thru the fic abt Physical Touch. zam is the one to initiate all the touches except two of them--the one at the very end and the one in the nightmare, which. vitalasy only kisses zam after zam has kissed her three times in a row and repeatedly reassured her that it's fine and wanted. vitalasy so badly does not want to hurt zam and is trying so, so, so hard not to hurt her. that doesn't change the fact that ... zam is in fact hurt by it. the way that vitalasy's dialogue in the ending scene is I’m not going to hurt you and you said it was okay then she touches zam and it leaves a very obvious physical wound and vitalasy didn't mean to do it but that doesn't mean it's not there. and also at the same time, like... zam did very much physically hurt vitalasy first and worse!

a fun detail that i didn't actually do on purpose but that my beta pointed out is that vitalasy is shot in the shoulder & then when she hurts zam it's by grabbing her shoulder. yayyyy parallels

i feel so incredibly bad for both of them. tbh. they are both terrified out of their minds & trying so hard & in a shitty situation and it's just....real bad but not in a way where i can find it in me to blame or be mad at either of them. im an apologist for both of them. yes they hurt each other but thats not going to stop me

both of them have ocd in this fic To Me. however theyre also both kind of justified in their fears so you can read them as not having ocd if you want. zam is checking the door for mapicc but mapicc is in fact stalking her. vitalasy is checking and double checking that zam is okay with things but zam is in fact not okay with things. this is how it goes sometimes

sorry subz fans. subz is kind of just Not Here. not even in the way he's not in my other vitalazam fics where his absence is Haunting The Fic. subz is just not relevant to this one

my initial concept for this fic had zam's opposition to ~exploits and vitalasy's whole plan and wish and so on being....a lot more relevant? some things that got changed: in the original concept, the final scene would be vitalasy touching zam and changing her outfit and powers; vitalasy's hair being similar in style/silhouette to kyubey's ears would be more emphasized; vitalasy lying to zam and zam talking to 3ht about it would have been much more of a plot point; we might actually have gotten to learn what vitalasy's wish was; vitalasy post-betrayal getting mad at zam's whole princely hero schtick; a few other things that im not successfully remembering. but instead the prison labyrinth is, like, sort of half relevant, but only insofar as it's a reflection of their relationship drama.

i did always know that i wanted zam Not Really Having Another Place To Live to be a major tension point, though-- it's the sort of thing where it immediately puts a lot of strain on her relationships due to her feeling obligated to be Endlessly Grateful in very specific ways, and back in dsmp fandom @regicidal-optimism gave me brainrot about housing insecurity in pmmm aus with the lovers, the dreamers, and me. this fic owes a lot to that one.

subz's parents are pretty absent even putting aside masquerade stuff, which is lonely for subz at times but convenient for zam. bacon's parents are much more present which is cool for bacon but sucks for zam, especially bc they are not in fact super happy abt having a random kid show up and live on their couch with no end date

tbh a lot of this fic is "i know we all like cute eclipse fed romance but can you imagine how bad that could go if zam had the same issues around it that zam has about literally everything else eclipse fed does". having a relationship with someone who feels like they Shouldn't Say No To You because they Owe You Their Life can break really bad, really fast, whether the thing you're asking for in that relationship is a kiss or a prison. do i think this is how it wouldve gone in canon? no. i think zam was more enthusiastic and had no real reason for moral dilemmas over a relationship; and i think vitalasy was not as head-over-heels in canon as in this fic. but there's a certain core problem there that was fun to mirror, you know?

the rest of this fic is "okay so vitalasy isn't a lesbian but what if.....vitalasy WAS a lesbian. due to the Projection"

they tried. both of them tried. trying wasn't enough not to hurt each other.

this fic has ART. before i even wrote it. i commissioned a pmmm!zam sketch from ctommy/idalus a couple months ago and then recently for vsz week void-chara drew all of eclipse federation in their magical girl outfits! so yeah check those out, incredibly talented artists and i fucking adore the art & am so deeply honored by it :D

i thought i wouldnt have many liner notes for this one and then i had SO MANY LINER NOTES that i had to split it into two chunks and i am NOT CONFIDENT I REMEMBERED EVERYTHING. anything after this that i think of will have been edited in. ty for reading all this lol if u read all of this i love u

[preblematic]

Your desperate lovers series has greatly impacted me as a person. Im thinking about getting a tattoo based off of it. Are there any visual symbols or motifs that come to your mind when you think about writing them?

I really cannot emphasize how much those works mean to me. I don't think I would be as far in my journey of self acceptance and artistic expression. I have friends who have felt more comfortable to explore the macabre and taboo because of me. They ask me how i found the confidence to be such a freak and i always point back to your fics.

Thank you for writing and thank you for sharing. Its really impacted some people.

-nipplelick

Oh god oh man. That's like. So incredibly honoring. PLEASE please feel free to DM if you want to talk about it more. (I actually have a relevant tattoo I'd like to show you if you do. I don't post identifiable photos here.)

I can't even put into words what this message means as an author.

Something you need to know is that Desperate Lovers is a song by King 810 which HEAVILY inspired me.

"I needed something from you, that shit you're ashamed of that's sick and disgusting. [...] I need your blood and guts. Give me your blood, motherfucker. I want you, all of you, like we're two desperate lovers."

The imagery I think of most is definitely Mikey's knife. Which is ironic because I don't think I've ever actually described it in detail, but I've always imagined him with a wood-handled folding buck knife. Something like this:

(source)

I also think about hands and mouths covered in blood a lot. Mikey's blood soaked hands gripping Gerard's cheeks. Mikey licking up the blood running down his wrist or biting hard enough to break skin. His fingers digging into the wound on Cat's (Kat's?) neck, ripping it open wider. Both of them gripping each other, after, Gerard's bloody hands shaking and slipping and Mikey's holding him steady. Mikey's hands disappearing in the viscera of the human abdominal cavity.

(source)

That brings up a good point actually, I've always found disembowelment to be the most sexual way of killing someone, splitting them from ribcage to pelvis and flaying them open so everything they try so hard to keep in spills out of them. The Y cut of the autopsy. The way every time Mikey thinks about killing Gerard it's by cutting him open so he can see his insides, so he can grab his brothers beating heart in his own two hands until it stops beating because of him. So he can wrap Gerard's guts around his cock and rub his cum into his meat and his bones so it will always always always be a part of him.

(source)

A few of my favorite lines from Healed--specifically ones I've thought about getting tattooed myself--are:

"I don't think god would let me get away with the things I've done.

"You're going to look so pretty covered in blood."

and ”I killed a man tonight, and you’re reading a magazine.”

So uh, yeah! I'm not sure if this made any sense or was helpful, but like I said please please DM if you have any questions (or if you just want to talk abt DL. I love these boys, life just keeps getting in the way of Making Things. (Or if you want to talk about other bandom things. (I'm very friendly just autistic.)))

@nipplelick

[nereidprinc3ss]

hii! i’m a small fanfic writer and i haven’t written in months. i just wanted to ask how do you keep yourself motivated?

(warning i’m abt to start yapping)

i get embarrassed when i write about certain characters bc i feel like i don’t characterize them well or im doing something wrong, and honestly i don’t know how to get my motivation back

i just wanna write abt our boy genius but idk where to start anymore 😕

well honestly i’ve never maintained an interest for as long as i have w reid/cm in general and while it does fluctuate in intensity i genuinely can’t explain why im still enthralled after over a year. like i have always been the person to get grotesquely obsessed with something and then find myself suddenly disgusted with it after like a month or two, so my interest being maintained in this dumb show is honestly like pure luck i guess lol and the fact that i havent hyperfixated on anything else since then? very very odd idk why that happened! anyway more below

also i just love writing, like i have loved writing my entire life long before i wrote fanfic and long before i wrote reid fanfic, so i think the fact that writing is so inextricably a part of who i am makes it easier for me to stay motivated because it’s not like my love of writing is contingent on my continued obsession with the character if that makes sense?

honestly just write him until you feel like you get him right, watch the show and study his mannerisms/how he talks, and write what YOU want to read, that’s super important, inspiration is easiest to tap into when it comes from inside yourself and not based on what you think others would like

it doesn’t need to be perfect there are a million ways to interpret a character!

and my best advice for writers block is to go back like ten lines and change whatever happened because when im most inspired the story literally forms itself and I don’t have to really stop and think about it very much as i go, so if i come to a dead end i just turn around and go a different direction!

but also sometimes you just truly may not have any ideas for a character or not have anything to say about them for the moment and that’s totally okay. in that case i go back and work on drafts or just read drafts, read my favorite fics, watch the show, and don’t force myself to write if it’s just not happening cause there’s no reason to do that

and also idk if this is universal but whenever i set hard and fast dates for myself to get a chapter done by or something i get scared and feel pressured and just completely abandon the whole thing so setting hard dates does not work for me at all and actually turns me off of writing so much

so that’s my advice!! i hope it was helpful<3

[hyuninho]

How do you write horror?

I actually had like a conversation with my friends abt this a little bit ago so I'll talk about it here- this is a very broad question so I am going to answer it to the best of my abilities (like, how do I write vs. how do I write horror), so,,, pls be patient with me haha.

So, to kind of lay the groundwork I've kinda come to the conclusion that there are maybe 3 types of horror writers/ways to come at horror?? Or at least, that's how it gets categorized better in my head! Inspired by a post where someone described Jacob Geller as an architect's mindset, I think the 3 main ways to come at writing horror are as follows;

- The Language

- The Philosophy

- The Architecture

Keep in mind that this is all like ENTIRELY my own opinion and just how I come at writing my favorite genre, & I was/am an on and off fic writer and that's where most of my style was able to be developed!

Understandably these categories do seem a bit random but I think the example I can use best to explain it is gore, probably?

So with gore & body horror as an example, I'll go in the order of Philosophy > Language > Architecture for it to kind of make most sense.

Philosophy - Gore is many things. A lot of times the human mind meets it with, "that's wrong- that's wrong, wrong, wrong!"- and it gets worse with body horror, which seems to almost make an art form out of it. It is grotesque and obscene, and it forces you to be vulnerable- all things the mind hates. Organs that were never supposed to see the light of day are now being exposed to air they were never supposed to touch- and it's incredibly disturbing and upsetting because this isn't supposed to happen.... and worse, the longer you sit in it all, and you let it fester, it starts to become a "What really makes us human?" kind of thing. Everyone's reaction to the initial reaction to horrifying vulnerability of viscera is different.  Some curiously engage with it, some will become obsessed with how intimate it is, some will still desperately want to get away from it. It's always a fun little "how will I write these gore scenes this time" & understanding how I want ppl to react, which brings me to the next bit- language

(P.S. no body horror in it, but if you do want a good horror book that delves into like the "What Makes Us Human?" bit of things, I rec Obscura by Joe Hart!! like it literally becomes an overarching theme in the book! A+)

Language - I spend a lot of time trying to put human experiences down on paper, and it just... doesn't work because language as a whole is not enough of a vehicle to get across all of my thoughts and my feelings on this one subject- this one subject that is, undeniably intricate (no matter what subject it is, at any point in time). With body horror or just generally terrifying scenes where I really need to get across what exactly is happening and why it's so terrifying and you should be scared too- it helps to find words that are as specific as possible to the moment, especially with gore, because it forces the character(s) and the reader to be vulnerable. I focus a lot on character's reaction to things as well, as a way to convey like 'holy shit this is NOT OK!!! I am not cool with this!!', and really- it wouldn't be a good story if I didn't intrigue myself a bit imo- whether I terrify, or I scare, or I just get myself obsessed... understanding the concept of what I want to get across as much as I can, so I can then spend as long as I want trying to get it across as accurately as possible in a way that will have others sharing my fear/intrigue/obsession... that is my personal goal!

Architecture - Your terror needs legs to stand on. Your dread needs legs to stand on. Fear/scares can be induced from a simple movie's jumpscare, or a couple of terrifying lines that build a scene quickly and get the ball rolling- but for good 'ol gothic terror it's a bit of a consistent slow burn that slowly grows over the course of the story. It's usually why the gore happens towards the end of a story if it's the climax of the story, or, in other cases, gore tends to be used as a way to break a character. It's not only about the structure of the story, it's about the structure of the character. When you develop a character it's like you've carefully constructed a small building- and in this case, the gore scenes are direct attacks on where this character's support beams would be. A building within a building.... within a building...? If you will.

Kathe Koja's short story The Neglected Garden (Extremities) is actually a perfect example of this, as it starts off with the gore straight off the bat- and from there it's a slow decline (in this story specifically, it's akin to watching a team of workers construct a house incredibly quickly, then being like "it doesn't seem that sturdy-" right when a storm comes by and the house itself sinks and gets *really* fucked up... and then from there starts to slowly deteriorate and crumble.)

I think this applies to writers as well lol- like, I'm definitely more of a language oriented horror writer because of how much I focus on my vocabulary, my sentences, my prose, etc- and not even in a way where grammar is my strong suit. In fact, I am like, incredibly bad with grammar and this post is probably a prime example of it! but I really try hard to get across a concept/idea with the tools available to me and I try to expand those tools when I can, because it frustrates me when there aren't enough words in the dictionary for "he screamed".

Outside of gore and body horror, I usually have a concept, and then I write the scenes were I'm very into the concept of it and what I want to be portrayed... and then I start expanding from there and building plot, etc, until I eventually sit down and write it in it's entirety- so my personal order tends to be; Philosophy, Architecture, then Language.

(And yes, these are all just fancy words for plotting and drafting but they help me think about it easier so pls be nice to me LMFAO)

[lingy910y]

Gallavich Questionnaire

Thank you @energievie for tagging me to do this! I get too unhinged when talking about these two boys, so warning for very elaborate ramblings 🙏

1. What’s a fic you’ve read more than once?

This fic is the prime example of why you should write a fic even if you think nobody’s going to read it, because it’s my favorite gallavich fic even though most people don’t want to read about them getting a divorce. But I do, okay, because a normal break-up doesn’t cut it (especially since we already see those in canon, but post-canon is up to our interpretation) and it’s just more serious. I think they will work out their issues before it gets too far in canon but it just hurts so fucking good. The reason for their divorce is so realistic too, in fact it’s not one but a lot of problems piled on top of each other. They think it’s only going to hurt everyone involved including their children, which is arguably true in context, but they can’t resist each other and it’s this back and forth push. There’s parallels to canon, the writing is so good without being drawn out, and there’s so much nuance, emotion, and subtly hinting at something beneath the surface. The pining is just delicious because it’s not “I don’t know if you feel this way about me” or “I’m not allowed to be with you,” it’s “I want to be with you so badly but I’m trying to resist that because it’s going to hurt everyone.” Then the trying so hard not to care because “we’re over, but you’re in trouble and I’m trying to move on and I’m never going to love someone else like I love you” 😭😭😭 anyway I actually had to stop myself from rereading too often for comfort because it was too much LOL

the author said they were going to update it January of this year so I’ll be patiently waiting 😔

3. What's a headcanon you can't stop thinking about?

You know that post abt how when you're sleepy you imagine your favs sleepy? I keep imagining Ian wrapping their comforter around Mickey like a cocoon when he has a nightmare and cuddling him, it's cute

4. What's a fanart you love looking at?

The first image of this by @gallavichonly JUST GETS ME SO FERAL. THEIR FUCKING EXPRESSIONS.

5. What’s an idea you’d love to create if you had the time/inspiration?

I want to draw a character concept art sheet for their outfits/weapons/mechanics for kinda a zombie apocalypse AU. Designing that sounds fun but I need to research more

6. What’s something you’ve discovered since entering this fandom? A new trope you love? A different analysis of the show? Something else?

The jealousy trope, especially jealous Mickey. I guess in other fandoms, people write jealousy in a really possessive, cringy way. Not saying gallavich aren't possessive as fuck but at least they earned it, you know? There's too many ships where one of them is breathing down the other person's love interest's neck but they don't even know you exist, like calm down 😭 Meanwhile gallavich tease and try to get each other to admit it first, and Mickey is biting his tongue trying not to say anything and then "Fucking cheat on me, Ian?!", "Whatcha doin' here then?" AND THEIR EXPRESSIONS WHEN THEY EACH SAY "WHEN YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW" ARUGHHHHHH I'M SO GONE

7. What’s an underrated trope or concept you’d like to see more of?

Touched on this earlier but basically the more tragic/gritty ones—a huge argument, break-ups, unrequited love, falling out of love, hanahaki, amnesia, MCD...

10. What scene or moment do you feel isn’t discussed enough?

Eh I think we've dissected the shit out of every scene lmao, but probably their s4 reunion? The lap dance?

11. What line/dialogue/description from something else (a poem, a book, a tv show, a movie, or something else) do you feel describes Ian and Mickey’s relationship?

Obviously "I'll take care of you. / It's rotten work. / Not to me. Not if it's you."

12. What do you think is next for Ian and Mickey post-finale?

I want Ian to go back to being an EMT no matter what :( but their current security gig fits Mickey a lot. Ian also gets really into gardening, he'll be so good to the point where he'll be known in the neighborhood. And Mickey has a little hobby for drawing. They'll adopt a pitbull because Mickey was actually enthusiastic about that idea, which meets Ian halfway by still giving him something to take care of. Now for the elephant in the room: I think it's okay if Mickey never wants a kid, and there's a lot of issues ingrained in them that unless they go to therapy for a couple of years, hinder them from becoming perfect parents tbh. Now I'm not saying they'll be bad, but will their best be enough? Will they be content? Idk, I don't have any experience and I see them with more issues/flaws than the majority of the fandom? Honestly I just don't see that future for them (but I do enjoy kid AUs because who doesn't.) They'll stay on the West Side because I want them to get out but not stray too far from their family. I also can't think about them getting old or I'll sob, but I wrote a fic about how they'll retire and just live comfortably because it's what they deserve, and they'll take tons of vacations when they save up enough money.

oh my god that was way too much but in my defense i rarely get to rant abt them ok!! anyway now that I went through the whole spectrum of emotions, i'm tagging @michellemisfit, @lupeloto, @jademickian & @softmick 🚶‍♀️

[kamiko1234]

Heyaa!! I read your big brother arthur fic a while back and i haven't said it yet but: I LOVE YOUR WRITING! The way you write the characters is so on point like omg go off, You can really capture their personalities! (especially arthur)

So for the questions thing, Howsa bout 1, 4, 5, 10, 13 and 14? Really interested to kno about the fic! Will be waiting patiently for the next update ;)

-Trancy <3!

Thank you so much for the question, and thanks even more for the compliment ! I'm glad you enjoyed the fic. Tbh I was kinda nervous that I fucked up Arthur's characterisation in the Big Bro AU.. Anyway- onto the questions :

1: What inspired you to write the fic this way?

I was trying to capture Arthur as a character if he had grown up genuinly loved. If ya think about it, Arthur is a pretty affectionate guy ! He's almost fanatically loyal to Jeremiah and the Vatican by extention, and clearly wants to have friendships & bonds with people.

It would be cool to see how his personality developed if he got to develope all this by himself without any manipulation. That's also why he's so overprotective in the fic acctualy ! He's still the same brand of loyal and trusting as in canon, just this time it's to his friends and family and not the Vatican. He's also just as obsessive, but this time it's not with being a good exorcist/being a "knight in shinning armour" but with being a good brother and keeping those he loves safe !

4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue?

In the original fic ? "......... I won't allow them to pay for crimes they didn't commit. Even if I have to go against the entier order to do so." From chapter 2. This line is said by Arthur after he found out about the twin's father. I like it bc this shows the diffrences between canon and big bro Arthur really well. Also establishes that Arthur is loyal to people rather than institutions in this fic. If we talk abt the rewritte- the line has yet to be written and published 😅

5: What part was hardest to write?

Nothing rly, it all came to me pretty easily. But if I had to say one thing I'd say that I struggled quite a bit with the start of chapter 7 of the OG fic. Restarted that one quite a bit.

10: Why did you choose this pairing for this particular story?

I don't rly have any pairing for the fic in the romantic sense, as for the reason why I wrote it with an focus on Arthur & Rin ? They are my favs and I think they make a fun pair. I do plan on AngelLight happning in the rewritte tho (once I get off my hiatus) since I just like the ship. The two are cute together and Lewin is the best ship for Arthur imo.

13: What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn’t listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?

I don't rly listen to music to get into the mood for it tbh. I mostly write in short and inconsistent burst of inspiration or inclination to write smth about it. What I DO have however is a spotify playlist with songs that give me big bro Arthur vibes, here's the link if ya want to listen to it. I also have an unlisted YouTube playlist with some songs in it from an idea I had of Arthur singing the twins lullabies ! Rly it's just songs I could see big bro Arthur singing for Rin and YUkio, will props include the idea in the rewritte !

14: Is there anything you wanted readers to learn from reading this fic?

Nope. This fic is supposed to be harmless fun for all of us us. So, that conclused all the questions ! Again, thank you for sending an ask and I'm so glad you enjoyed the fic ^^ I'm trying to get off my hiatus and continue it since I rely enjoy the AU it's in. Ofcourse the fact still stands that if anyone (you included) has specific hdeacanons/wants to see a specific scenario in the fic you can tell me and I'll deffo try to include it it ^^

[morhath]

i followed your fashion blog for a long time and you used to mention contra dance a lot and i just went to my first ever contra, in part bc you always were talking abt how fun it was, and it was GREAT im gonna be going every month after this. so just wanted to drop a line to say thank you, idek if you still dance but. all ur contra outfits were so good and i had so much fun bc of being inspired by you!

YESSSSS I love to #influence people to go to contra dances! It's so fun especially if you are (like me) a fussy asshole who wants things to Happen Correctly because when you get the pattern exactly right it is a thrill like no other. (I am absolutely self-plagiarizing a fic I wrote where contra features prominently...)

I wasn't going for a long time, because pandemic, and then because (admirably!) my local contra requires masking. We love this but also I start wheezing and passing out 3/4 of the way through a dance WITHOUT a mask (this is why I only dance follow) so I figured going masked would be, um, hell.

Buuuut a while ago I dragged my girlfriend (maybe sort of before she was officially my girlfriend. jury's out on that one.) to a different folk dancing class and I wore my full-on respirator and had a decent time. (That one's actually the easiest to breathe in by a little bit.) So as of earlier this year I'm officially back at contra, although I had to miss this month's because I was busy.

I did get rid of all my swirly dresses and skirts because they're mostly not my style these days (except for at contra) and also I gained a bunch of weight, so I'm not sure what I'm gonna wear in the future, I just wore work clothes to the most recent one.