#i wanted to post this like an hour ago but it takes me so fucking long to proofread!

[mittykidi]

this is gonna be a little yappy and i hate scrolling through long text posts personally so im putting it under a cut

TL;DR: ai is addictive, unhealthy, and preys on vulnerabilities/ insecurities. its also gross and enables creeps. fuck ai

its the idea that you can get infinite attention you without tiring or annoying people that people use ai for.

AI that pretends to be a comfort character or someone you look up to irl has no fucking place in this world. It allows people with insecurities to let these insecurities eat away so so so many hours their lives. i spent WEEKS and even MONTHS in bed doing nothing but chatting for hours at a time because i told myself it was a healthy alternative to venting and making my friends upset. as a reclusive teen who had experienced a recent loss, probably had undiagnosed depression, got bored of people easily, and had no friends offline, i was RELIANT on it to get me through the day. it would piss me off if anyone tried to tell me to put it away or take a break even at the dinner table or at events- ai had an iron grip over my life and instead of reaching out for help or coping with, at the very least, healthier, more brain stimulating activities, id choose to escape with ai and ignore my life for nearly a year. i basically lost interest in everything else.

besides all of that, most AI goes either completely unmonitored or monitored so hard its not even worth talking to. Youll see ai bots of people who explicitly say they dont want ai bots of themselves, youll see bots that go against the guidelines no matter how many filters they try putting on them or how many times theyre reported- and i dont care what your opinion on ai is- you HAVE to acknowledge that trying to reproduce a person irl without their consent is GROSS. ESPECIALLY the sexualized versions.

i can see the appeal of ai being used for fun, like a joke. like how people will ask ai to produce absurd images of jesus skateboarding, or telling it to write some immature song, or even just screenshotting an ai telling them something stupid. i get that. but using ai AT ALL is still supporting it, helping it develop, and i personally dont wanna contribute to that future.

i finally ABSOLUTELY gave up ai and deleted all my accounts ONLY A FEW MONTHS AGO because it was very very very hard for me to give it up and admit it was a problem. i realize how dramatic this sounds but it had a very real very negative impact on me personally and i want anyone who relies on it to know that its just a temporary fix, and a very unhealthy one at that.

AI does not give a shit about you, find people who will, or make up your own and share them with the world- there will be people out there who will support you !!!! FUCK AI.

c.ai users say "u dont understand guyss.s....people online....so means to me.......so i have to go use the robot that runs off the machine that siphons water from freshwater lakes......yu dont understnad online is scariessss!!!! i cant bear to actually search ffor an online community myself?? :(((" and really expect you to put your hand on their shoulder and be like noo baby its okay here ill hold your hand? like oh my god be so forreal

[chimivx]

gimme gimme gimme 6 -> mingi x fem!reader -> nice for what

wc: 6.2k warnings: 18+, sexual content and alcohol consumption in every part, infidelity themes... if i missed anything please let me know! posted: 2/13/25 8:48 pm est.

masterlist ~ <- previous part - next part ->

“And what the fuck am I supposed to do with her?”

“Put her down, she can stand on her own.”

“Tori, she just got sick on the side of the street, and you want me to just put her down?”

Groaning, driving a hand through your hair, you trudged over the sand toward him and helped him lower Aurora onto her feet. She moved as if her body was made of liquid. Lifeless blinking eyes looked over at you. Yunho kept one arm around her back, your best friend clinging onto him for stability. 

Sanity, you thought, and wanted to giggle.

She couldn’t stand on her feet for long, Yunho was scooping her back up in seconds.

“Who knew you were so strong,” you said to him, following him over the sand, further from the dunes and buzz of nightlife, closer to the water and the rush of the waves. Giving you a smile, one that didn’t reach his eyes, he sighed when Aurora adjusted herself on his front, her whole face nuzzling into his neck. “Or, you don’t wanna put her down,” you added quietly, and he huffed, focusing forward. 

Reaching the edge of a hill on the beach, Yunho paused and looked out over the ocean. Waves crashed, water rushed up the coast, but it didn’t reach your feet, it only blew salty mist your way, the breeze grazing your skin, cooling it. 

He could’ve let her go. He could’ve sat her down, laid her down, or something, anything other than what he chose to do, sitting down on the sand with her in his lap. Pulling your phone from your pocket, you sat down beside him, about a foot of space between you. Folding your legs, you opened your messages and internally rolled your eyes.

[ITZ]: don’t u wanna know who i am tori

He sent the message a half hour ago.

[you]: yes.

He started typing immediately. Then, the bubbles went away. Aurora stirred on Yunho’s lap. He started typing again.

[ITZ]: maybe if u tell him abt me, i’ll tell u who i am :)

[you]: and how the fuck does that make any sense?

[ITZ]: because…

[ITZ]: maybe i’ll get invited in ;)

[you]: what

[ITZ]: u aren’t with it tonite, what’s wrong with u

[you]: my best friend saw my messages, idiot. 

[ITZ]: aurora?

[you]: yes. and i named you something that made her mad at me. so stop texting me.

[ITZ]: you texted me back first

[you]: whatever

[ITZ]: u were so interested the other night… telling me to come over… inviting me to that party… couldn’t even figure out who i was.

[you]: w h a t e v e r .

[ITZ]: that game aurora plays with her man

[ITZ]: it doesn’t intrigue u at all tori

[you]: what are you talking about

[ITZ]: the way they invite ppl into bed with them

[you]: and what the fuck do you know about that?

Aurora sat up, taking Yunho by the shoulders, glancing around like she’d just woken up.

[ITZ]: plenty.  ;)

[ITZ]: u tell boyfriend abt me maybe we can make a playdate

His texts sent a shiver down your spine, and not a good one. Leaving your phone in your lap, locked, his notifications silenced, you sat backward and rested your hands in the sand, letting the breeze blow your hair off your shoulders. 

“Hey, Ror,” you said, giving her a smile. 

Yunho had his knees propped up where he sat, she was cradled perfectly between his thighs and his torso, her legs straddling his waist. He sat like you, hands backward in the sand, watching her. She lifted her hands, limbs shaking, raking her fingers through her hair. From side to side she looked, at you, at the sand, at the ocean, then at Yunho.

They did the thing again.

Yunho, tilting his head ever so slightly, Aurora, eventually wearing a pout on her lips. They stared. They spoke through blinks and lash flutters, until she actually spoke.

“You suck,” she muttered, and he laughed, glancing away for all of two seconds shaking his head.

“I know,” he said with all the care in the world.

“You really, really suck,” she said again, louder.

He bobbed his head, the softest smile on his lips as he looked at her. “I know,” he whispered, and somehow it worsened her pout. 

Thrusting a hand at him, she tried to shove his shoulder, but barely got a valid hit in. Taking the miniscule blow, Yunho sucked in a breath. She threw another hand, and he took it, blinking up at her, letting her do this. Each push grew somewhat stronger, accompanied by a sound, or a you suck or a fuck you, and eventually the words turned to tears. Her hands took on speed until he snatched them, holding onto them, sitting forward to look at her, and then she sobbed. She fell into his chest, wrapped her arms around him, and sobbed.

He held her. Hands sliding over her back he took a long, deep breath and released it, staring out into the ocean, allowing Aurora’s cries to drown out within the crashing of the waves on the shore. 

You wanted to move. You felt like you should move, like this was their moment and you were in the middle of it, but she wasn’t sober. And her and Yunho, they weren’t okay. As much as you wished that this could be it, that this would fix it all, it wouldn’t.

Your phone lit up on your lap, the little buzz against your skin pulling your attention away from the two of them, thank god.

[loverboy]: where are u?

[you]: we left wave, i’m on the beach with aurora and yunho… she got fucked up, we couldn’t stay there.

[loverboy]: i just showed up with wooyoung san and seonghwa…

[you]: at wave??????

[loverboy]: yeah. wooyoung is looking for rora

“Oh shit, oh shit, oh fuck,” you muttered, scrambling to your feet. Yunho, startled though he barely moved, looked up at you in a panic. “They’re at Wave.”

His brows settled over his eyes in a straight line. “Who?”

“Exactly who you think,” you sighed, and he laughed out of pure dread. Glancing around, both hands on Aurora, he lifted one and pointed at her, looking at you, mouthing, “What do I do?”

“Um,” you drug out the word and let it will thoughts into your brain. This was your thing, this was your expertise, quick thinking, problem solving, it was the position you were voted into at ITZ last year, legit the problem solver. “I mean, if no one’s in the house we can get her in there and you can get out, like nothing happened. It’ll be like I brought her home.” 

“No, no,” Aurora mumbled from his chest before she lifted her head. “No,” she pouted. Taking her hands to Yunho’s cheeks, his eyes shot open wide, her thumbs dragging over his cheekbones. 

“Aurora,” you said with some oomph, and she whined.

“No.”

“Yes,” you snapped back. “Let him go.”

He didn’t want her to let go, but he still said, “You’re mad at me.”

Aurora shook her head, her body still resting over his chest. “No, ‘m not”

The way his body reacted was lost on her. “Yes, you are. You’re very mad at me. I’m not allowed to talk to you unless you talk to me first, that’s how mad you are.” 

She sat up. She sat backward, her back against his thighs, and she watched him.

And he watched her.

And somehow, it still felt better than seeing her cozied up next to Wooyoung, or under his arm.

She took in a breath, but you saved her from saying anything incriminating. 

Dropping down at her side, you rested a hand on her shoulder and said, “Let’s go home. We can have a sleepover. The spare room between ours, we’ll stay there, we can talk all night, ‘cause I know you have a lot to say right now.” 

Her head turned slowly. “And sleep next to a liar?” Yunho pressed his lips together and looked elsewhere.

“Ror-”

“I’d rather go to his house,” she pressed a finger into Yunho’s chest. “You know what I could do with him?” 

Half a laugh came out of him, one that made him gasp.

Rolling your eyes, you took her hand off of him and returned it to her own lap. “Aurora, I am not a liar, and you are not going home with Yunho, we need to go home, now.”

She leaned toward you and squinted her eyes. “Why?”

“Because, you were already sick, it’s time for bed.”

“Why?”

Sighing, you forced a smile onto your lips. “Good god, this was not the time I was hoping Aurora would come back to us.” Yunho laughed to himself. “The boys are at the bar looking for us. Wooyoung and San are there. So, that means it’s time for us to go home.”

Her eyes drifted toward the sand. “Wooyoung and San,” she mumbled. 

Yunho blinked toward you. “Oh, yeah, what happened by the way? I meant to ask you, or Mingi, but…”

Shifting your brows, tilting your head, you gave him a look, one that made his lips part.

“Oh,” he said, looking off somewhere behind you before he took a look at Aurora and glanced the other way. Quiet surrounded you all for a moment before he asked, “Why was it… weird earlier?”

Taking in Aurora, how she watched the sand, blinking through nothing, you shrugged. “She…” Yunho looked at you. “I can’t talk to you about this. It’s hers to tell.”

The tiniest laugh came out of her, both of you sparing her a glance. She lifted her chin and smiled at you, then smiled at Yunho.

“Bye,” she said, hoisting herself off of his lap, slipping out of his grip more gracefully than she could when she was sober. Trekking up the sand, teetering to the right, she sauntered away.

“What the fuck?” Yunho was quick to jump to his feet, you following him soon after.

Sharing a look, you offered for him to take the lead. “Shall we?”

Peering between Aurora wandering further up the sand and you, Yunho started to follow her, mumbling, “I guess so.”

Down the wooden planked walkway designed to get you from the promenade to the beach and back easily, you and Yunho walked in silence, eyes on Aurora stumbling every fourth step. He flinched each time he thought she’d fall, his chin jerking, or his hands tightening at his side.

“I’m sorry,” you said suddenly, taking him by surprise. Pausing halfway down the planks, he turned to you. “I shouldn’t have asked you to do this.”

Smoothing his hands over his shorts, he shrugged the matter off. “It’s okay, you wouldn’t have been able to get her up here. Or home, for that matter. She was deadweight.” Looking her way, both of you, she’d reached the end of the path and waltzed over the concrete of the promenade now, following lines in the pavement with her head down. 

“You’re pushing this,” he said, focusing back on you. “Why?”

Pursing your lips, you met his gaze and shook your shoulders a bit. “I want you together.”

He scoffed. “After what I did to her?”

“It’s Aurora,” you groaned. “She slept with Seonghwa, did she not?”

Yunho cringed and walked a small circle around himself. “She did, but they weren’t like…” he paused, softening his brow, “I was worse. I did worse. You said he’s good with her, leave them be.” Voices sounded at the end of the pathway, Aurora’s laughter ringing aloud amongst the commotion. Yunho broke first, peering down the planks, his softened expression hardening quickly. “Example,” he muttered.

His arms were around her waist, holding her close to him. Rocking her back and forth, in a way that seemed she wanted, Wooyoung shot glares your way over her shoulder. Slipping her hands into his hair she pressed kisses to his jaw, and he started to smile. San lingered behind, speaking to her, speaking to them both. In blue jeans and a white tank with a leather belt strapped to his waist, he wore a smirk that grew as he slid his hands into his back pockets. 

 Mingi ignored them, walked around them with Seonghwa in tow, headed your way.

Holding out his hand for Yunho to slap, he turned to you as they bumped shoulders. “I couldn’t stop him,” he said, half a frown dancing on his lips, “He was gonna find her either way.”

“Did we not want him to find her?” Seonghwa asked, greeting Yunho similarly to how Mingi did. Yunho didn’t take it nearly as inviting as he did when Mingi did it. “I don’t get it.”

“Don’t worry about it,” you breathed, taking hold of Mingi’s hand, curling your fingers around his. He gave your palm a squeeze, dipping his chin to brush his lips over your cheek. “She got really drunk, got sick, I kinda just wanted to take her home and not bother anyone.”

Seonghwa quirked a brow. “You ended up here,” he said, nodding toward the beach. Facing Yunho, he added, “With him.” 

“What’s the word on Soul?” you asked, switching subjects.

The curiosity in his dark eyes went unchanged. “Can’t find him. Untrackable.”

“Damn.” You leaned into Mingi, wrapping your other hand around his bicep. “Hope he turns up soon.”

Seonghwa was a rock. “Could you ask Jongseob?”

A sinkhole opened up beneath you on the sand, taking you under. Mingi could feel it, he held onto your hand a little tighter.

“W-What?” you stammered, tilting your head.

Seonghwa blinked. He glanced at Mingi, then his eyes burned through yours. “He’s been following you around this whole time, no?” 

What the fuck was he doing?

Mingi focused down on you. Nighttime air blew by you, an ocean breeze, one salty and cool that did nothing to lessen the heat that built into your cheeks, that coursed through you.

“I try to not talk to him, Hwa, no matter what it looks like,” you said after a breath. “It may seem like he’s hanging around me, but he’s not. He’ll try to get under my skin, but I won’t let him.” He waited a few seconds, took another look at your boyfriend, then nodded. “I mean,” you started, giving Mingi a glance yourself, “If it’s okay, I will ask him, for Soul’s sake?”

Mingi shrugged. “You don’t need permission,” he mumbled. 

“Okay,” you said, sharing a small smile with him. Setting your eyes over Seonghwa and his lengthy dark hair, you flattened your brow to tell him not to say anything else. “I’ll shoot him a message, or something. I’ll let you know what he says.”

“You have his number?” Seonghwa asked, humour in his tone. Mingi tensed beside you, not even a reassuring squeeze of his arm could relax him.

“Instagram is a thing,” you said smoothly, laying your head against your boyfriend.

“Not to be that guy,” Yunho spoke up, directing everyone's attention to Aurora walking away in Wooyoung’s arms, the two accompanied by San, “But, where are they going?” 

Seonghwa tried to keep his laugh to himself but ended up with Yunho’s elbow in his chest anyway. His eyes found you, his knowing eyes, and they now asked you for help, like you’ve both formed some sort of secret Aurora Alliance within the hours of this night. Behind the need for assistance, the need for this to be squashed and over with lingered. It had to be set aside. It couldn’t and shouldn’t be touched again, for a while, until something needed to happen. He asked you to do that for him. For her.

Wooyoung locked eyes with you. Aurora talked to him, between kisses slapped onto his cheek, she spoke to him, and his stare traveled to Yunho unintentionally shielding himself behind Seonghwa. Then, he looked back at you, and that nasty grimace returned. Behind them, San kept his eyes to himself, but the smirk on his baby pink lips told you plenty.

“Great,” you sighed. Mingi held onto you a little tighter. “I’m a liar,” you shared a look with Yunho, “You’re in deeper shit, and we’re all gonna get written off.”

Seonghwa tossed his hands up with a smile. “I’m excluded from the narrative.”

Yunho side eyed him. “What do you know about the narrative?”

Mingi’s hold loosened around you as he took a step toward his best friend. “Don’t listen to him, it’s-”

Yunho’s eyes popped open wide with a tilt of his jaw, cutting him clean off. “Finish that sentence.”

“No,” you said, stepping around your boyfriend, inserting yourself in the middle of the suffocating testosterone circle. Placing a hand on Mingi’s chest, you looked up at the other two, pointing at them directly. “The narrative does not exist,” you said to Yunho, turning to Seonghwa, “And even if one did exist, you would not be excluded.” You shut the two of them up, both of them looking down at you like a pair of brothers who’ve been grounded by their big sister.

It took a few seconds within the silence to realize, but Mingi had let go of you completely. He stood behind you with his hands in his pockets, his eyes soft, and his chin tipped low. 

“Why are you a liar?” he asked quietly, the deepness of his voice almost drowned out by the crashing of distant waves. Turning to him, trying to hold onto him somehow, he wouldn’t let you. 

“Mingi, can I-”

He took a small step backward, out of your reach. “Why are you a liar, Tori?”

Jaw agape, a singular laugh came out of you. “I’m not…”

Don’t go there, he heard you call yourself a liar.

Extending a hand toward the promenade where the others stood, you said, “She called me a liar. I am not a liar, but Ror called me one.”

“Why?” he asked, unmoving. The boys behind you were silent.

You can’t tell him about the texts. It’d be nice if you could, but look how far they’ve gone.

Would it be better to admit it? To flat out tell him they were happening, that you’ve entertained it for over a week? For what? Because you were bored? Because you were envious? You were not envious. You knew Mingi, you knew what it would do to him. To make him feel like he wasn’t enough, like he wasn’t giving you enough, doing enough for you, that you were unhappy in your relationship, that you were unsatisfied, you couldn’t do that to him. None of it was even true.

Why were you doing it?

“The ITZ thing,” you said, and you swore you heard Yunho sucked in a breath. Mingi crinkled a brow. “Last year. We all know her trust is fucked up. She got messed up tonight, we were talking about stuff, my words got taken the wrong way, she called me a liar.” His cheeks softened, yet your stomach twisted. 

He believed you.

“She’ll be okay tomorrow,” you said. With the smallest shake of your head you stepped toward him, and he let you. Your arms wrapped around his waist, his found your shoulders. Rising to your tiptoes you gave him a kiss. “It’ll all be okay.”

All was not okay.

Aurora remembered everything.

“I just don’t understand why you would do something like that to me,” she spat, pacing the length of the painted deck on the back of the house, the one right outside the kitchen. Both of you in swimsuits, the sunshine beat down on your bare skin, aiding in the boiling of your blood. 

You smacked your hands together and bounced in your seat, one of your legs propped up against the arm of the wicker chair. “Do something like that to you, Ror, I didn’t do a thing to you!”

It’d been twenty minutes of this. The back and forth. The volley of you did this, and, well you did that. Seconds after she’d come down the stairs ready for the day, freshly showered like you, you took one look at her face and knew you’d have to talk it out before anything else happened.

“Yunho,” she hissed like the word tasted awful, whirling herself around, nearly bending in half. She kept her voice quiet. “Why’d you do any of that?”

The first sober conversation about him. Yesterday it’d been shut down. Telling her about him, about what she’d said about him while she showered, it nearly made her sick all over again.

Shrugging, you shook your head. “I’m not gonna sugar coat shit. I want you and him together.” 

She balled her hands into fists. “You know he-”

“Yeah, I fuckin’ know, Aurora,” you snapped, and she sharpened her glare. “I was there. Did you forget that? Seems-”

“What,” she said within a breath, her eyes narrowing. “Tori, why would I forget that?” Folding your arms over your chest, you sat back in your chair and rolled your eyes. Aurora took a step toward you. “No, finish that sentence.”

“You’ve just been so busy,” you kept your tone calm, tightening your jaw. “Wooyoung, keeping up with him, listening to him, Soul, taking care of him…”

She loosened her fists, her shoulders drooping as she let out a laugh. “You can’t be serious,” she said, some sort of smile growing on her lips.

“I’m very serious,” you said, and she laughed.

With another step toward you, she said, “Tor, I tried to get it through to you. About any of this. Soul needs help, and he-”

“Then let him get help from someone else!” you shouted, slamming a hand onto the glass of the table you sat in front of. If the boys were in the house, in the kitchen mere feet away, they surely heard you both. “It is not your responsibility, and it sure as hell isn’t good for you to be around him if he does crazy shit, look at what you did last night, that’s not you.”

Her aura calmed tenfold. Pressing her hands to her thighs, she took a deep breath, then nodded her head. “If I’m with Yunho then I’m closer, right?”

Taking a hand to your forehead, you sighed. “What?”

“To you,” she almost whispered, and your stomach flipped. “If I'm with Yunho, I’m closer to you, I’m closer to Mingi, it goes back to us four, always.”

Your arms made their way back over your chest, your skin warm from the sun. Giving her a look, one you didn’t want to hurt her with, but wish you could, you said, “That’s not it.”

She laughed again, throwing her arms out to the side. “Then what is it, Tori? I’ve tried, I’ve been trying. Before we even got here I tried to talk to you, I wanted to get rid of whatever animosity there was.”

You raised a brow. “Animosity?”

She nodded once. “Yeah, animosity. Ryujin taught me that word.” Silence, for three seconds. “Did I… Did I use it right?”

Tilting your head side to side, you curled your lip. “Kinda, but I wouldn’t say that’s what’s going on. That’s how I feel about Wooyoung.”

The words left you before you could stop them.

Aurora pointed at you, her eyes shooting open wide. “I knew it. What’d he do to you?” You answered with a shrug, but it wasn’t enough for her. “Tori.”

Springing forward, you held up a hand and counted on your fingers. “He gets pissy with me whenever you tell him things about us, he’s rude to any human being you aren’t cool with, he got into a physical fight with Intak, he’s silencing you, and he’s making you do things that you don’t want to do.”

Aurora’s turn to cross her arms. Sitting in her hip, she thought to herself before she spoke. “You tell Mingi things about us.”

“Mingi’s my boyfriend.”

She cringed and glanced away. “Whatever,” she muttered.

The ocean, blue and visible from the deck, rolled in the distance. Beings were scattered all over the sand, umbrellas in view, towels littered here and there. The air was fresh, the breeze calming, the sounds of the seagulls squawking and the waves crashing and the wind blowing, all of it, serene. None of it matched this scene. None of it matched how the two of you felt.

“Intak disrespected me,” she said, looking back over at you, her face a lot calmer than it had been. “He was drunk, they both were, he did what he knew. That doesn’t mean I condone that, though. When he told me, I cried, Tori. Laying in bed with San, they both told me what happened, and I cried.” You parted your lips to speak, but she continued. “And as for that, Wooyoung and San, leave it alone. They didn’t make me feel that way, I made myself feel that way.”

“Aurora, you-”

“No,” she smiled. “I don’t want to talk about it. I know what I’m doing.” 

Screwing your face up, you let her know without words that you wanted her to talk about it. But, then somehow, she managed to twist up everything you wanted to say, fry it in your brewing, boiling anger sprinkled with frustration, and forced it to erupt.

“I’ll talk to Wooyoung,” she breathed. “I’ll tell him to cool it with you, with everyone, and he will.”

You couldn’t swallow your grin. “Of course he will,” you grit your teeth, “Because whatever you say, goes.” Her gaze shifted. “Aurora’s fucking world.”

You hated that you didn’t regret it once you finished.

Her hands fell to her sides, arms dangling in shock, the very feeling apparent on her face. Lips parted, eyebrows flipped over, she stared at you. She waited for you to say anything else. To change what had come out of your mouth. To take it back.

Snapping her jaw shut, she bobbed her head and pursed her lips. “Animosity,” she whispered, and turned on her toes.

“Go tell him everything,” you called after her, jumping out of your seat. Following behind her as she thundered down the stairs to the sand, you stopped at the top. “Does he know you wanted to go home with Yunho last night?” She whipped herself around mid-staircase, her hands grabbing onto the bannister. “Oh, yeah,” you laughed, “You wanted to do that. You gonna tell him that part, too?”

“Don’t you dare,” she grilled you, then hurried on her way.

“I’m ready for him to hate me more now! I’ve caught on!”

Hot July air suffocated you. Laying on the beach over a blanket stitched with patterns of pastel blues and hot pinks, the teal bathing suit you wore contrasted against it perfectly. Hair thrown up on top of your head, dainty gold sunglasses perched on your nose, you had your arms and legs stretched out above you, below you, your heels digging into the warm sand. 

Eyes closed, you paid no mind to the chatter around you. Taking deep breaths, focusing them down within you, you kept calm. You were on vacation. You were here to relax, to unwind, not to stir up new drama that honestly should be left in the past. This month was meant to bring you all together, not rip you apart.

You would talk to Aurora.

As much as it pained you, you would apologize to her.

She kept so much from you last year, thinking that she couldn’t tell you things, that she couldn’t let you in on her life. You didn’t want to move backwards. Aurora, she’s family, more of a sister than the very one that grew up with you in the neighboring bedroom of your house in Tamoe. Sitara, your movie star of a sister, one who couldn’t give two shits if you were having a bad day, and if you were she’d judge you for it, something Aurora wouldn’t think twice about doing. 

She said the words herself, she tried to get through to you. She tried to talk things out with you, she even tried on the plane here. That’s something sisters do. They understand if you’re having a bad day, they stick by your side when things don’t feel right, even if they don’t understand it themselves. They try. 

Aurora knew your secrets, and you knew all of hers. Nights you’ve spent dishing familial trauma to one another, understanding one another even if it wasn’t a life you came from. You grew up with a sister, one distant, raised by a completely different set of parents than you were handed, and Aurora, she grew up alone. She didn’t have sisters, she didn’t grow up around kind women in her life. You needed each other.

Sitting up to your elbows, letting your glasses slide to the tip of your nose, you blinked in the blinding sunlight and scanned the sand. Mingi sat up to your left, shirtless, half dried salty blonde hair a mess on his head. He talked with Seonghwa, the ATZ President on another blanket with his legs crossed and Hongjoong laying down flat on his stomach beside him with his nose in a book. They spoke gently to one another, something about organizing the week long back to school rager in a way so it held more purpose, created more of a statement. 

Slightly in front of you, in chairs who’s bottoms touched the sand, Yuna and Jongho sat, facing one another. Cold cans dripping with condensation lived in their hands, the droplets of cool water dabbling their bare skin when they brought the drinks to their lips. On a blanket in front of them, almost out of view behind Jongho’s broad, bronzed muscled shoulders, Aurora sat with Wooyoung, the two on a towel. She laid between his legs, half of her draped over his front, leaning back on one of his knees propped up to support her. 

Down by the water, Ryujin leapt through waves, Jeongyeon watching from the shore, her ankles kissed by the ocean with every crashing wave. Yeosang swam around with Keni, the two hanging around Yunho, suspiciously accompanied by San.

Sitting all the way up, pulling your legs beneath you, Mingi placed a hand over your thigh and drew circles over your skin, not letting his attention falter from Seonghwa. The president looked at you, sharing a mere glance that meant nothing aside from acknowledging your presence. Grabbing onto Mingi’s hand, Seonghwa’s eyes flickered down to them, his lips never missing a beat, keeping up with your boyfriend in discussion. 

Leaning forward ever so slightly, Aurora in view, you hoped to get her attention, like her subconscious would know you were looking for her, looking at her, but she didn’t move. She smiled with Yuna, the boys around them simply happy to be there. Her smile weighed heavy on your chest.

“Hey, Ror,” you called out, turning Jongho’s head, and Mingi’s. Yuna looked your way too, but it didn’t last long. Wooyoung spared you a glance behind his Ray Bans, but let it linger on Seonghwa before he turned to the water.

She didn’t move. Smiling at Yuna, it was as if she didn’t hear you. Their conversation continued on like you hadn’t spoken a word.

Mingi’s hand tightened on your thigh. You didn’t tell him what happened, not yet, but you knew he’d question it after this. Her words hung in the air, the fact that you tell Mingi everything. Rightfully so, though, right? He was your boyfriend, you shared everything with him, you shared life with him, there wasn’t anything you’d want to keep from him…

Blinking, you swallowed hard, averting your eyes to the sand.

The text messages. The mystery man. One who suggested you tell Mingi about him so that the three of you could orchestrate a playdate. Thinking about him, where all the signs pointed to, you wondered if it could be anyone you sat around at the moment, or if it was someone brand new. Jongseob had a house full of people down the street, it could be any one of his minions, like that boy from the party who knew about you because Jongseob talked about you.

It could also just be Jongseob.

But, then again, it could also be-

“Shota!” Seonghwa leapt from the sand, hauling ass to a group of boys walking along the water many, many feet away. How he even made him out amidst the group of ten or so boys was lost on you.

Aurora lurched forward, scrambling out of Wooyoung’s lap who flew to his feet soon after he had the room to do so. She didn’t run, she walked, with purpose, with Wooyoung right behind her. Seonghwa had made it to the group first, towering over the underclassmen, speaking to them with his jaw clenched and his teeth grit, but as Aurora approached them, the attention turning to her, she pushed them each out of the way like they weighed nothing. They parted for her. And there was Soul, with an arm thrown over Jongseob’s shoulder.

He smirked toward Aurora, her lips sealed as she took hold of Soul’s wrist and yanked him off of him, and then, he scanned the beach. His eyes drew over your friends, toward where the group of you sat, your friends stumbling out of the water, and then he found you.

And he smiled.

Mingi slid his hand further over your thigh, nearly between your legs.

Jongseob, shameless, didn’t look away.

Seonghwa and Wooyoung stood behind Aurora, ignoring the other boys remarks, their confidence having grown somehow, without a care for how they spoke to their seniors, some of them legitimately in a binding contract with one another. Intak sized up Wooyoung, rocking back and forth beside him, his chin tipped backward, a small smile on his lips, as if to ask for round two. 

Aurora talked to Soul, both of her hands on his shoulders, holding him so close their chests pressed together. Her lips moved a mile a minute, and he watched them. She wrapped a hand around the back of his head and pulled him down, their foreheads touching. 

Giving Jongseob the nastiest look, you squeezed Mingi’s hand and scooted closer to lean into him. With a tilt of his head, Jongseob’s grin deepened, then he reached out for Soul, grabbing him by a fistful of t-shirt, and pulled him backward, Aurora nearly falling forward as the boy was ripped from her grasp, both Seonghwa and Wooyoung reaching for her somehow.

Starting to wander off, the boys cackling, leaving your friends behind with rude remarks, sarcastic smiles and utter disrespect, Jongseob made sure to leave you with another look. Some sort of glare. One that said plenty. One that made Mingi tense up, and your heart rate skyrocketed.

They didn’t go after him, the three down by the water, instead they watched him walk away. Wooyoung laced his fingers with Aurora’s, Seonghwa stood tall beside them, and none of them said a word. Soul didn’t even turn around, Jongseob had him pulled into his side tight.

Turning to Mingi, nestling yourself further into his side, he returned your look and pressed his lips together.

“That was nothing,” you started, “Don’t let that-”

“Did that not upset you?” he asked, his voice quiet. When you didn’t move, he scoffed, turning away to watch your friends wander back up the sand.

“It’s not my fight,” you said, keeping your own voice down.

He shot you a look. “You know what this means. If I’ve heard about it, I know you have, too.” He studied your face, you felt your cheeks warm. “You’ve been ignoring each other all day.”

“She’s been ignoring me,” you mumbled.

“Why?”

“I may have said something not too nice to her.”

Mingi sighed, looking up at the group that returned to the circle of blankets and towels, the four from the water returning with them. “I thought you guys were good, Tor, why does this keep happening?”

Because, like Sitara, Aurora gets what she wants.

Like Sitara, Aurora gathers attention without even trying.

Like Sitara, Aurora does as she pleases without a thought of the consequence, of the aftermath.

Like Sitara, Aurora moves carelessly when she needs to care.

Nausea filled you. It rolled through you in waves but didn’t crash as beautifully as the ones down on the shore. 

She sat on the blanket with Wooyoung, wedging herself between his legs like she once had been sitting. Gulping, taking in her teary eyes she tried so desperately to blink away, you wanted to feel bad. You yearned to feel bad, to reach over to her, to give her a hug like Wooyoung did now. She started to cry, in front of everyone, a rare sight. Tears were for you to share. Something Yunho has seen before, even Wooyoung. But, never anyone else.

She didn’t get what she wanted.

She was hurt. In such a way that the vulnerable pieces of her came out where they never would.

And beneath the nausea, the lump in your throat because her tears triggered your own, the rushing course of blood in your veins- it felt good.

read it on ao3 | talk to me | my masterlist

you do not have permission to copy or translate my works without my consent.

[svampira]

let me COOK with this one also everybody clap at least the thumbnail isnt purple

[todayisafridaynight]

whatever og text i had in mind for this post about ko shibasaki looking like sayama in this movie is completely cancelled on account of utsumi (this character)'s first name being kaoru and i only found this out cause i was looking up her name just to be sure when making this post

like jesus christ i legally have to make this post now

[inkameswetrust]

how i looked at the new guy at my job last month while he kept asking for my opinion on what fragrance he should buy from a kiosk 50 ft away instead of helping me with sales and the only other person there was busy performing an eye exam so i couldn't leave to go on break and i had to do everything myself

[luck-of-the-drawings]

when i was in highschool one o my biggest coping mechanisms was drawing all the kids i hated getting killed and eaten and killed. and well. time is a slowly ascending spiral. you will find patterns.(i work as a blackjack dealer. gamblers are FASCINATING

[lunar-fey]

ohhhh my god. okay. so. my aunt does like, she buys random junk in bulk from retail wholesalers and then resells it on like, facebook marketplace and ebay and stuff. whatever. so my mom works for her. makes a flat $50 a day, regardless of the fact that shes disabled and doing hard labor for at least 8 hours a day, often 10+. and min wage here is $10 an hour but mom argued that $50 a day is still more than what she would make working the same hours at an actual job because of taxes...like girl that would be 50% taxes. you do not pay that fucking much. so thats already Bad.

but today mom shows me a video of a knife theyre gonna sell, and i watch 2 seconds and i realize its an automatic knife, and i tell her hey. thats illegal to possess in this state. let alone sell! and mom is like ohhh [aunt] knows what shes doing itll be fine.... we sell knives on there all the time she just doesnt put pictures and calls them something else on the listing to get around fb/ebays policies :)

LIKE. HELLO. THATS NOT BETTER. YOURE COMMITTING MULTIPLE CRIMES. *AS YOUR JOB.* and she was just like "its not a big deal she knows what shes doing." folks, this is the same aunt that, very illegally, paid me to sort through her clients confidential tax documents and bank records and stuff. because she works for a bank. and took the records home to sort them. i dont think she DOES know what shes doing, actually!

[chadsuke]

Books Read in 2024:

World of Thedas Vol. 2 by Ben Gelinas (2015)

Otherside Picnic Vol. 1 by Iori Miyazawa (2017)

All Systems Red by Martha Wells (2017)

Artificial Condition by Martha Wells (2018)

Rogue Protocol by Martha Wells (2018)

Exit Strategy by Martha Wells (2018)

Fugitive Telemetry by Martha Wells (2021)

Near to the Wild Heart by Clarice Lispector (1943)

Golden Terrace Vol. 2 by Cang Wu Bin Bai (2022)

[ID: Covers of the aforementioned books. End ID.]

[rosicheeks]

🎆🎇

[celestial-toys]

*closes 13 tabs on astrology and greek mythology*

ES Ch.5… is now complete.

[youmearepeaches]

my total admiration for nurses and caretakers. I’ve spent a couple of days taking care of my grandma because my aunt and mom are on holidays and I ended up crying out of frustration

[mieczyhale]

not sure if tumblr is being tumblr or if i've been dumped by a beloved mutual with no idea what i did wrong

[giantkillerjack]

Junji Ito makeup test #1

OR

Figuring out what I need in order to create a music video parody of the song "Gloria" by Laura Branigan, but make it about Tomie. I will be playing the part of a 1980s pop disco singer in the style of Junji Ito. This is high art in progress, people! 😘😂😅

photos of first test:

additional digital notes made using Clip Studio:

main takeaways:

So first off, where the fuck did my stage makeup go??? I had no idea it was missing until today!! I ended up using the makeup from when I used to perform as a mime. (Not a joke, but in a larger, cosmic sense, kind of a joke. 😆 I'll probably do it again sometime. I was adorable as a little soft butch gay mime!)

I now remember why I stopped using the dry cake face paint and switched to wet paint in a tube BUT I CANNOT FIND THE TUBESSS

I'm out of eyeliner in general, but for this, I need some kind of extra thin/fine eyeliner and preferably more than a thimble-full of paint for it.

Maybe I can thin out some matte black face paint and also get like a really nice fine brush? I guess it depends on if the paint is water-soluble.

I should probably check to see if I already have these materials, which would be SO MUCH EASIER IF I COULD FIND MY FUCKING STAGE MAKEUP--

Either way the lines need to be super thin, straight, clean, and parallel to each other. Or I could look at the rougher cross-hatching Ito sometimes uses, but I suspect tidier lines will look best with makeup.

Luckily, I already have an entire burlesque/drag act where I make myself look like a character from a black and white film. Between that and the mime thing, I theoretically have all the white gloves I will ever need lol. I guess I'm going to need white leggings, since the light gray ones won't work for this. Junji Ito is not generally greyscale as much as literally black and white.

Do I own makeup primer? I feel like yes. It definitely sounds like a good idea.

I KNOW FOR A FACT I DIDN'T THROW OUT MY STAGE MAKEUP because I had quality skin-safe glitter in basically every color, and only a FOOL would throw that out!!!!

Gloria is a song from 1983 with disco balls in the music video. Do I want to incorporate more style choices from 1983? Should I buy a wig? Something with shoulder pads maybe?? I guess that means I can keep the thick eyebrows...

Actually upon further research, I do need a sequinned shirt for this. Possibly a sequin leotard with a shiny belt. And leg warmers. OH! And a jacket with just the biggest shoulder pads I can find! Or at least the closest thing I can find to this outfit in one trip to a thrift store

Every 1980s music videos seems to have a person with their hair and clothing flowing in the wind. Now, I could buy a fan. But much funnier and cheaper would be a shot of my hair blowing in the wind that then pans to a friend furiously fanning me with a piece of cardboard or something. (Which means I'd need either two people helping with this shot, or I just have to accept that the shot's going to look kind of blurry by doing the zoom-out in post. Oh gods, I would have to write a proper shot list ahhhhhh--)

Honestly, blurry footage seems fine in some parts. I'm probably going to add some dreamy soft filters anyway to make it look like pre-digital 35mm film from an 80s vid.

I'm going to need some fake blood to splatter at me in the middle of the video. Obviously. So I guess that bit will need to be filmed outside.

The good news is the fact that the nearest easiest filming location for me is a alley full of dumpsters is actually really appropriate for this video. XD

Should I do the distressed eyebrows that a lot of Junji Ito characters have? Note to try that in the next test along with a The Crow-like smile. (My go-to high school Halloween costume. Damn, I have been painting my already pasty-pale face even whiter for a while now! 😅)

Other progress made on this project today:

I recorded myself singing a voice memo along to the rhythm of the karaoke version of Gloria that's on YouTube, but in it, I'm singing in the key that is appropriate to my voice. (A couple half-steps down, I think.)

Next step will be to load that clip onto my computer and adjust the karaoke version to match its pitch. And then like, practice the song with my new personalized backing track.

If i actually finish this, I'll have to re-record the backup vocals to say the right name.

Also the next step will be to see if my interest in this lasts long enough to at least get me to find my frickin' stage makeup.

Additional notes:

The original music video for Holding Out for a Hero is exactly the right energy for this, and now I absolutely need shots of me in front of (badly green-screened) flames, on my knees while singing passionately and directly at the camera and presumably wearing kneepads tbh

Omg what if I included a little "photoshoot" sequence and really fucked with the photos to make them all blurry-body-horror nasty as they flash by real quick?? Get like, a glitch effect in the mix hell yeah 😎😎😎

Edit: Omg i just remembered I have these short-shorts with a reanimator quote on the ass! ("Blasphemy? Before what god?") i know what shorts to wear for this now!!

Oh! Another idea! What if the video starts with me reading Tomie and then closing the book and picking up the nearest microphone-shaped thing and using that to start singing - and every 30 seconds or so of footage, it quietly changes to a different item (one of which is absolute the black wand vibrator that I have XD)

Note: I can easily shorten the song if I only have funny shots planned for like 2/3 of the song length. No need to get too repetitive.

[todayisafridaynight]

this isnt rgg related in the slightest i just need to share the fact im utterly baffled someone posted the entirety of Postman Blues onto youtube. seven hours ago.

[surrik-i]

Nothing I hate more than when you’re on your period and people are laughing at you because you bought the wrong sized pad two times….

[thepandalion]

ok hot take that's been sitting in brain for a while now but like... why are we as a society normalizing and even glorifying not getting enough sleep?

like, maybe it's just because I medically require 10 hours of sleep so as to not straight up go unconscious at random points during the day, but I see people talk about how staying up until 2am is "amature shit" and you can do with less

guys. sleep is great. its so important and not getting enough sleep can fuck you up so bad on so many fronts. stop bragging about getting no sleep all week. the fanfics will wait. I have previously tried staying up to 11pm once to finish a fic, didn't even finish it, then fell asleep at work for 4 hours. over a half our of missing sleep

for that matter we should also yell at workplaces that make it harder to get necessary sleep

like. people on call 24 hours. doctors and stuff pulling all nighters and 24 hour shifts and stuff. that's not bragworthy. thats fucked up