#i wanted to post this last month but my blog got terminated....

[redgbasp]

Yeah! Our world tour finished without a hitch, but we haven't gotten that "us time" I promised!

I wanna get this over with so we can go have some REAL fun. Oh, Pearlie!

[buttercuparry]

HELP ALAA ACHIEVE €6,000 IN THE NEXT 2 DAYS!

THIS IS URGENT! Please have a look at this fundraiser. It belongs to Alaa Amsee ( @alaakh99 ) who is a loving mother to two beautiful children named Maria and Hamza. 

Alaa has had her tumblr account terminated for the SECOND TIME, resulting in her being unable to continue her efforts to campaign for herself and her children at a VERY  crucial time. It should infuriate you to see this happen, especially in light of the recent smear campaign against palestinian gfms. We can assume now that many of the Palestinian blogs have been deactivated, because of baseless reports of being scams.   

THE LAST DONATION CAME IN 23 HOURS AGO. PRIOR TO THAT, SOME DONATIONS CAME IN 2 DAYS AGO!!

We CANNOT  let this fundraiser be stagnant.  Alaa and her two children are suffering from hepatitis, and malnutrition. Their lives are on the line and they need medical care ASAP! 

Her life wasn't always like this! Before October 7, Alaa led a peaceful life  with her family which consisted of her children, husband, in-laws and immediate family, but soon the nightmare began and came to a head on October 28, when her neighborhood got bombed in its entirety. 

Alaa escaped certain death that night as her house collapsed and trapped her family in. Debris choked them all, and they had to be rescued from under the rubble and shattered glass. Alaa describes what she witnessed that night as "unimaginable"- death, corpses and blood, surrounded the family. 

Even after this tragedy, the pain did not let up and chased them to the Rimal neighborhood. The bombing continued and Alaa had to put wet masks on Maria and Hamza, so that the children could endure the terrible smoke and burning smell. Things got so bad throughout the next few months that Hamza who is only 3 years old, now talks only of bombings, rockets and tanks. 

I want to remind you that Maria, Alaa's little daughter, has contracted hepatitis after being displaced for the third time, where they had to flee to Rafah. Being overcrowded, one can only access shared bathrooms which are primary causes of such viral infections. The children have suffered from epidemics and skin diseases, and the little tent Alaa has managed to acquire can barely sustain life in summer heat 

On top of that, there is hardly any nutritious food and clean drinking water- which means that at one point, the family had to survive on weeds and bread made from animal feed. I cannot tell you how horrible this is! How Alaa and her children still suffer even now. In fact, at the moment of writing this post, Alaa  messaged me about her tent shaking due to bombings nearby. 

So I urge you not to ignore her, please, and help her reach her short term goal of 6K within the next 2 days !!

Her fundraiser  has been up since May and has only reached €4543 which is a little above 4% of her end goal! Please donate and share! I also request you to follow Alaa ( @alaakh99 ) and help her save her children from this genocide!

( verified by 90-ghost )

[icarus-sun-writes]

“I’ll be here when you wake up.”

Captain John Price x dying! wife! Reader

~2.3k words

TW: death, cancer, detailed descriptions of the cancer toll on reader, mentions of wheelchair, oxygen tanks and feeding tubes. (Cancer descriptions based on the loss of my grandmother.)

IN WHICH: John comes home from work to spend time with his sickly wife.

(I’d like to mention that I originally posted this fic on my last tumblr blog “shy-girl-moments” but it got terminated, so I wanted to re-upload on my new blog because I loved this so much.)

“Love, I'm home…!” John called out softly. It was unnerving with how quiet the house was considering his wife was usually happy and loud, only a week ago her cancer had worsened and left her reliant on a wheelchair. She was so tired and weak all the time. She had a feeding tube and was on oxygen at the same time.

John closed the door behind him and left his work bag by the door, purposely trying to be quiet in case she was sleeping. He looked around the house for any sign of his wife, eventually finding her sleeping on the couch with her feeding tube still connected and her wheelchair parked next to the couch. There was a cheesy romantic comedy movie playing in the background on a low volume. Since she hardly got the opportunity to leave the house, she often resorted to watching movies. Gently and slowly, John picked her head up and off the pillow and sat down, laying her head on his lap.

She groaned softly when John picked her head up, mumbling incoherently and stirring slightly, but soon settled back into her sleep. John smiled at how adorable she was. It saddened him to see her sleeping in the middle of the day but what choice did she have? She was terminally ill, her body was so exhausted that she slept most of the day even though she tried to fight it so she could spend time with him. John began softly stroking his poor wife's hair, hoping the comforting feeling would make it for her to stay asleep. Even the act of sleeping looked uncomfortable. She looked sick. The bags under her eyes were deep and dark, she was frail, and her voice was often sore, but she always tried to have a smile on her face.

John could see that she had her wedding ring clutched in her fist as she slept. Since she was losing a lot of weight due to the cancer, she had to wear her ring around her neck on a chain because it would just fall off her finger. She had a habit of holding it often as a sort of comfort. Price's eyes were soft as he watched the rise and fall of her chest. He had watched his wife’s health decline rapidly over the past few months. Seeing his wife so skinny and in pain had been hard on John but even harder on her. He had to stay strong for her. One of his hands continued to run through his wife’s thinning hair as the other slowly lifted her shirt. Her hip bones stuck out painfully from the thin skin and John traced them with his fingers gently, a sense of deep sorrow sinking into his heart.

A few minutes later she turned her head and nuzzled John's thighs. All was silent for a few seconds —besides the sound of her drip bag for her feeding tube and oxygen tank— then she spoke faintly, “John?” She opened her eyes slightly, looking up at her husband.

John felt his heart soften when he saw his wife’s tired and pained face. He loved his wife so much. Without hesitating for a moment he replied back to her, his voice was soft and had a tinge of guilt at seeing his wife in such a state but it was also filled with so much love, “Yes? I’m right here darling.”

She smiled weakly at John, taking another few seconds to speak again, “I… love you…” Another few seconds passed, “stay with me…”

John’s heart broke at hearing how quiet and tired her voice was. He felt the guilt rise in his body at the idea of him not being there for his wife, but he quickly pushed those thoughts from his mind when he noticed how she still had her wedding ring clutched in her hand. John gently moved his hands to run through her hair again, hoping the feeling of comfort would ease his wife.

“Of course I will… I’ll- I’ll always be with you. I love you too darling.” John said, the sadness evident in his voice.

“Kiss…?” She asked faintly, a look of love in her tired eyes.

John’s heart began to beat faster when he heard his wife’s request. It was so simple of a request yet it filled his heart with so much love. He didn’t hesitate to lean down and press a loving kiss on his wife’s forehead then another on her lips. He pulled away just enough to whisper, “There you go darling. You’re so cute…”

“Kiss.” She asked again, a bit more firmness in her voice and a faint, sly smirk on her lips. There was a glimmer of mischief in her eyes, too. It hurt John, knowing that she was using so much of her energy just to try to be silly.

“Oh, so feisty today?” John’s heart rate skyrocketed when he saw the smirk of his wife’s face and he held back a laugh.

It hurt John, knowing that she was using so much of her energy just to try to be silly, but it did make his heart flutter to see her smile again. He gave in easily and leaned back down to kiss her on the lips again. This time a little longer and more passionate, but still just as loving in nature as the first one. But he had a teasing smirk on his own face too, wanting to match her silly mood. She opened her mouth ever so slightly in an effort to deepen the kiss, smiling weakly.

John couldn’t help but smile when he felt her trying to deepen the kiss. Gently, he pulled away from the kiss leaning down to murmur against her ear, “Needy, aren’t we?” He teased jokingly before gently kissing his wife’s cheek and continuing softly, “You’ve gotta take it easy, darling. You’re still sick, love. And you know how easy it is for you to tire yourself out now…”

There was a faint blush on her cheeks, her eyes showed that she understood her husband’s words, but was still disappointed. “I love you…” she murmured again, not having the strength to argue even though she wanted to.

John smiled warmly at the blush on her cheeks. Seeing the beautiful rosy tint to his wife’s pale cheeks filled his heart with so much love. He loved every detail of her beautiful face and he loved to see that blush, even with how sick she looked.

“And I love you too darling. So stop trying to get yourself all worked up. I don’t want you doing more than just resting at the moment.” John insisted softly, gently stroking her thinning hair.

A few seconds later her closed her eyes and fell asleep quickly once again. It was obvious how exhausted her body was from the cancer, her entire body weak to the point of needing a wheelchair and a feeding tube. John felt a pang in his heart when he saw her fall asleep again so easily. The poor woman must’ve been so exhausted from just being up for a few minutes. John’s eyes ran down his wife’s body again and he could only feel guilt and sadness when he saw just how much weight she had lost. He kept one hand gently massaging his wife’s hair but his other hand gently moved to lift up her shirt again. He stared at the jut of his wife’s hip bones and tried to push down the feeling of impending doom.

John had to pry his eyes away from his sickly wife, turning to the TV for some type of distraction. The romcom she chose was her favorite, the one she watched over and over again, the same one she forced John to watch on their first date. She liked it because the love interest looked like John when he was in his teenage years. After about an hour of anxiety filled disassociating, John was suddenly aware that his wifes oxygen levels dropped drastically; slow, shallow, faint breaths. He immediately sat up right, very alarmed and scared.

“Darling?” He gently shook her shoulder, trying to wake her up but not startle her, “wake up for me. You’re not breathing right, love.”

She woke up after a second and furrowed her brows, taking a deeper breath. She glared slightly at John and pouted, clearly very annoyed, “w-what?”

John felt a rush of relief when she woke up and started breathing again. But his eyes narrowed at the pout on his wife’s face, “Don’t ‘what’ me. You weren’t breathing well again.” He paused for a moment before adding, “I can’t have my beautiful wife suffocating on me. You can’t scare me like that.”

She fought the urge to roll her eyes, but nodded slightly. It took her a long moment to speak, “sit me up… like the nurse said… so I can sleep…”

John let out a sigh when he saw the look in her eyes, noting the fact she was obviously restraining herself from rolling her eyes. He couldn’t blame her though since he knew his wife was in pain and extremely tired from just the act of being awake. He gently lifted her up and sat her upright on the couch again.

“There’s my good girl... now you can get proper sleep from now on. But if I hear you’re not breathing properly again, I swear I’ll go turn up the oxygen flow.” He said firmly, yet his touch was soft and comforting, there was no mirth behind his tone.

She just stared at him for a long moment, starting to tear up slightly, her pout deepening, “I’m sorry… for being cranky.” She mumbled, starting to take deeper breaths now that she was sat up, “I’m just… so tired.”

John’s heart shattered at seeing tears well up in his wife’s eyes. She was clearly in so much pain but was trying so hard to keep it together. He quickly wrapped his arms around his wife and held her close, gently pulling her into his lap.

“Darling, don't apologize. It’s alright. You’re alright.” He gently stroked her hair again while he spoke, “I know you’re tired… I know you’re hurting. I’m here though, I’m not leaving you, my love”

“I’m so tired… of being sick… and in pain… I want this to be over.” She hiccuped slightly through her tears, leaning into John’s comforting embrace, her head on his chest.

It felt like a knife had hit his heart hearing his wife’s words. The pain and exhaustion she carried was so obvious in the way she spoke, “I know, love… I know.”

He pulled her even closer to his chest and continued to rub his wife’s hair in a comforting motion. He knew there wasn’t much else he could do to help, but he wanted to try and offer something, “Just get some sleep for now. darling.”

She nodded, her tears slowly trickling to a stop as she nuzzled her face into her husband’s neck. John wrapped one arm around her waist to help hold her upright while his other arm continued to gently run through her hair. He leaned his head down to press a kiss against her forehead.

“There we go love. That’s it, just go to sleep now. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be here when you wake up.” He murmured, his low raspy voice gently pulling her back to sleep.

Her breathing was even and smooth and the look on her sleeping face was peaceful, knowing she felt safe in her husband’s big arms. John watched as her breathing evened out into a peaceful and calm rhythm and it made his heart feel lighter again. Seeing his wife so peaceful and safe in his arms made his heart feel so full of love and warm. He sat there for a few minutes more just absorbing the feeling of his wife in his lap, then he too dozed off.

When John woke up, it was late in the evening, nearly dinner time. His wife was still cuddled up against him, completely still and a bit cold. His eyes were met with the sight of his sleeping wife still snuggled up against him. He couldn’t help a small smile at the sweet sight, but the smile quickly dropped after realizing how cold she felt against him. He gently shook her shoulder in a panicked attempt to wake her up.

“Darling, wake up for me real quick, love.” She didn’t wake up. John didn’t feel her breathing either and she was very pale. “Love..?”

John felt his heart start to pick up speed when he didn’t get a response. He again shook his wife’s shoulder but there was still no response. Panic started to set in as he carefully put one hand on her neck to feel if there was a pulse. There was no pulse and her body was starting to stiffen. John felt his heart stop beating, but he refused to accept it. He pushed the thought from his mind and kept going through the steps in his head. He pressed his fingers a little under her chin to tilt her head back and his chest tightened.

“Come on love, breathe for me…” he desperately begged, his voice shaky.

Her head lulled slightly in his hand, her head tilted up towards him, and John saw that she looked at peace… she was safe and calm for the first time in weeks. She almost looked as peaceful as she did on their wedding night. But now his wife is dead… no longer in pain. Reality really began to sink in for Price when he saw how still her chest was, unmoving, not breathing. He felt like any breath he tried to take was being caught in his throat. His heart felt so heavy and he realized he was crying. Slowly, John pulled his sweet wife back against his chest, holding her tightly and securely and gently began stroking her hair again, just like he had been a couple hours ago.

It was then that he finally spoke again, his voice nearly silent and thick with emotion, “I’ll be here when you wake up…”

But she never would.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not telling someone I wasn't their bully 100% of the time

Hey so I was a shitty kid and i willbe TA for most of the story. However the ambiguous non-ending spins around my head nonstop

! In high-school I met a friend, Lacy (mtf) who had recently come out. We bonded over mutual Fandoms and shared classes and ended up pooling friends. I was already tight friends with one other girl we can call Sam. Sam went to another school but me and her had been best friends for many years and talked constantly online. After spending a lot of time with Lacy, and with L and S in a group, I started to get a little crush. Me and Lacy had this habit of passing comic notes to eachother between classes and they were just so fun. Anyways I ended up passing them one asking them out and she agreed. We talked about it casually after and I kept the note. In the background, me and Sam talk constantly about Lacy. Outside of school, online, Lacy often goes on long rants and tangents and caps it off being painfully self depreciating and insinuating self harm. I honestly don't hold that against her too much, given how young we were and how much stuff was going on. Very quickly I realize this tiny crush evaporates in the heat of her stomping rants. My gut sinks when Lacy mentions we are dating. It's been less than a day. Sam messages me immediately and I make the terrible snap decision to lie. I lie about it and I have the evidence so my version becomes correct. I tell Sam I didn't *really* ask Lacy out, blah blah. The lie doesn't end. Lacy has an explosive breakdown about it, well warranted, and I lie to adults and school administrators as well. We were friends, I guess she got too attached, we talk all the time but no. I never asked her to date. Papers signed, case closed. Lacy blocks me everywhere. The year ends. I resign to never speaking to her, as the unquestioned bully in this situation I wouldn't have the right to approach her about it. I think I send one anon ask completely unrelated to her or our lives, then block her back as is only fair.

Short hop forwards a month or two. Sam sends me a message about an update to Lacys blog. Lacy is otherkin and Sam is laughing at the kin list, sending anon messages mocking Lacy about the choices and identity. Very unfamiliar with otherkin but struggling with gender thoughts myself I don't respond much.

Fast forward a few years. Me and Sam don't talk much now. I got a boyfriend and couldn't help love how much he ignored me. Everything else fell through cracks. Working at my restaurant job one day, who else comes in but Lacy. We are very busy, I try to be quick, don't make eye contact. "Party of....for Lacy?" She nods. The lobby is full so they walk out the door and never come back. Later when my shift is over I unblock and check her blog. She's made a post saying I was her abuser and had sent her constant anon hate since bullying her in hs. Checking her ask tag I see Sam on anon sends 3-6 hate messages a year. I do nothing and leave everyone be and move on.

Another 3 years goes by. Sam reaches out. She's terminally ill, and we speak stiffly for a few IMs. I don't forgive myself for leaving her and decide it's best we don't keep talking. Another few years and Sam passes. Our old friends go through Sam's papers and pc files reminiscing and find pages and pages of shared chat logs between me L and S. It really was a harsh reminder of how cruel I had been, speaking behind Lacys back and lying. I don't doubt I caused her lasting trauma with my actions.

Part of me wanted to reach out to Lacy and apologize, explaining myself and the misunderstanding and clearing the lie not because I wanted to feel absolved I just that it's finally done now. But it feels so cruel to do it when 1. As the original bully it's still not my place to seek closure 2. I can't just toss my friends corpse under this bus for no reason.

It's soon a decade since we all left school so the time seems well past. I just can't stop thinking about all the mistakes. And there seems no reason to bring it all up after all Sam can't say anything about it anymore and nobody is hurt believing i said these things. So, AITA for not telling Lacy it wasn't me bullying her most of the time?

What are these acronyms?

[polarisbibliotheque]

Little Life and Writing Update

Heey, my little cryptids, I hope you are all doing well! It's been a while and I had hoped to finish Vergil's thing/answer all of you by this time of the month already, but life happened, so I decided to update you all.

(TL;DR in orange at the end of the post)

I've been having lots of personal problems - my mom and my grandma got really sick the last couple of weeks, and my aunt is currently with a suspicion of something VERY serious health-wise, potentially terminal depending on the degree of it.

We have "universal healthcare" here in my country, but it's AWFULLY inefficient. Her case is ultra urgent and they are taking MONTHS just to schedule an appointment with a doctor, when she needs medical intervention NOW.

It's frustrating and we would ALL help her go to a hospital and do all the procedures, but it costs a fortune and none of us can afford it. I'm and supporting with legal insights, because we'll probably have to go to court to have someone help her urgently.

I was basically raised by my mom, my aunt and my grandma. Having something happen with them affects me more than I can explain.

Then, to top all of this, I'm already doing not-so-well mentally for a series of personal reasons that are causing me to kinda spiral and my family isn't known for being too kind. My mom had a little accident the other day (everything is fine) but my dad has the emotional intelligence of a peanut and started fighting her because somehow it was her fault (it wasn't). I got in the middle of it for him to stop being an ass with her and then he said some stuff that, well, should've remained unsaid. It only made everything worse for me and it's making me re-evaluate loads of things and wanting to leave.

I'm compensating with art and, to my surprise, I'm back to writing music. I've stopped doing that for a lifetime and man, it's good to be back. But other things are in the back-burner while I'm, honestly, just trying not to have a breakdown amidst all of this hahahahaha

(I'm that Rolling Stones song, 19th Nervous Breakdown xD)

I hope you all understand. It's not that I don't want to do it, but ALL of this has blocked me in such a way with EVERYTHING, I default to hyperfocus on music when everything is too overwhelming.

(I've been updating some stuff on my art blog as well if you guys wanna check it out, but not so much really. It's mostly Ghost themed illustrations and some random OCs of mine @polariscroquis )

I hope I can go back to writing soon, and I'm sorry for not being able to finish this one on time. But I will finish and post it before Easter, that's a promise.

TL;DR - Bunch of personal problems in my life, I'm extremely overwhelmed and on the brink of a nervous breakdown, I haven't been able to write. I'm compensating with drawing and music writing and trying to keep myself functional ;)

Thanks guys for being here and hopefully we'll all have fun with Vergil's Halloween antics very soon!

[otomiyaa]

PSA: Back up your blog, check your tumblr e-mail for copyright strikes

Hi everyone, after suddenly losing my account with main blog + sideblogs last week, I would like to share the following warning with y'all. Not to scare you even though it is shitty, but to raise awareness. If this somehow results in me getting kicked off the platform again, so be it lol.

If you post anything fandom* related on your tumblr blog**, whether that's gifs, screenshots, videos, cosplay pics or even fics (?), you may risk getting a copyright strike (up to 3 in 18 months) or even immediate account termination. The chance is still rather small, but just know that it can happen.

*I say fandom in the broad term, so blogs that post about movies and series, anime/manga, games, celebrities, models, sports/olympics, etc. and it goes for gif and fic creators too. Not just accounts that post music or videos for example.

**I say tumblr blog, but this goes for all of the internet ofc. People have been getting this problem on any platform, from insta to etsy, youtube and twitter.

Disclaimer: I am no legal expert, just an unlucky blogger who lost her silly multifandom fic blog after 7+ years.

This will be a bit long and detailed so I proceed under the cut!

What can you do?

...To make sure you don't suddenly lose days, months, and years of content:

CHECK THE EMAIL LINKED TO YOUR TUMBLR. I know a lot of people don't do it, myself included. Tumblr does send warnings (though not always). It wouldn't have changed anything for me because I wouldn't want to appeal - since I don't want to go into this "fair use" discussion for just a fic & editing blog. I personally don't know the chances of retrieving your blog if you protest against the claims, so can't say much about that.

Back up your Tumblr blog if you can. Also save your Tumblr chats with people dear to you if you can. Account termination seems to work differently than deactivation. I was still able to see chats with people who deactivated long ago. But my blog that got terminated has vanished from everyone's DMs and ask boxes à la Thanos snap. I mourn my years of Tumblr chat with my best friend. It was not as if we even considered exporting/copying it just for the memories of the start of our friendship. But now that it's entirely gone, hehe, well. It is sad.

Save URLs and masterposts outside Tumblr. After losing your account, for I thiiink about 24-48hrs (I didn't clock, but it was temporary) you will be able to access it at least temporarily through cachedpages, if you have the URL. It doesn't seem to work for everything, but most of my Tumblr posts I could still see shortly through this site, even after I got wiped off the platform. I did this by googling my tumblr username + certain keywords, and the posts would pop up and give me the URL.

...To prevent getting copyright strikes and losing your account?

Probably nothing - but like I said, I'm not the expert, just the fool who lost her account. The termination e-mail will give you a numbered URL so it's not easy to see which post resulted in the account loss, but for me the keywords were:

-

-

Despite the 7+ years of posts, many followers and a lot of memories, I did not gain anything else from this blog and didn't think it was worth the (legal-) risks and effort to try and get it back. It would require filing an objection against the copyright claims with personal info from home address to name, and consenting to USA legal law stuff.

Even if I don't know the exact details, I'm sure they're not wrong, because whether it's fair or not, most fandom stuff has copyright issues in the end, so I can't protest against the claims with 100% certainty it won't get me in real trouble. Besides, I read about similar cases, lost cases, and admitted defeat right away.

They work with manual reports and most dangerously, bots, who seem to be randomly picking unlucky people to take down their posts and possibly the entire account.

So besides putting an entire halt to fic writing, gif making, video editing and other fandom indulgement, or the inconvenient act of censoring every single word and image, I don't think there is a way to entirely prevent getting targeted.

The one that treated me to the strikes leading to account termination was a certain Mr. Green who seems to have targeted mostly people on Etsy. But apparently now also on Tumblr. More about this I can share here for further information. I also share some other links that can inform you about how far the copyright problem can go. Again, no reason to panic. It's rare and I was unlucky. But it happens.

About Mr. Green, using bots all over the internet to take down fandom related material:

Tumblr post about his attack on fandom.

Long detailed doc from an Etsy user.

Insta post about also loss of Etsy account.

Also Etsy related, but same Mr. Green and his bots taking down something only because it used the NAME of an anime character.

Tweet about him and his company not being officially contracted but getting compensated.

About copyright claims on Tumblr - they are still rare, no panic, I just call it russian roulette and these are all unlucky people like me :')

Post by user @/marilynjeansiims about claims against users who post about Sims, including a petition against it.

Post by user @/happyheidi about Moomin posts facing issues.

Post by user @/hanyusan about olympic related claims.

Example by user @/koov about what a vague copyright warning looks like.

Good news, post by user @/yunghos about getting their account back after filing a counter notice. It seems to be possible.

Post by user @/iamkatehardy about getting a strike for using a gif.

Post by user @/stxrshxpxd about getting their acc terminated for no 100% clear reasons.

Post by user @/tekweela about getting terminated mercilessly because of a reblog.

Post by user @/fromanotherroom-revived about losing their account with similar advice as I write here.

Post by user @/ladyphasma about gifs and US law

Knowing this won't bring lost accounts back, or change the law, I do hope at least you can be better prepared just in case it happens... Better prepared than I was at least.

[punisheddonjuan]

are you going to repost the chronic fatigue history posts soon? i know you said you were going to a while back. i read them on your old blog and wanted to share them with other people but i never reblogged it and can't find them.

Am I going to repost them? Yes. Eventually. I really want to revise and add to the earlier parts as there's a lot of things that could and should be added. There are also a few small errors, mostly just dates I got wrong, which while they do not detract from the overall thesis, bug the hell out of me because I trained as a historian and I shouldn't be making mistakes like that.

Anyway, the emphasis is on "eventually" I've kept having to push back working on it as my day-to-day energy level has remained pretty low and it's been very difficult to sit and maintain the level of focus and acuity necessary to actually do the work which would bring them to a place where I'd be happy to repost them. The whole issue with my vision that popped up last spring which is causing me to see an aura around everything constantly doesn't really help either. On top of that it's been a busy few months between Alex moving out, Cate moving in, and my having other priorities. There was also a bit of a research setback because I had my Twitter account terminated for tweeting "Death to Israel" at the official State of Israel Twitter account and repeatedly telling Nazi to kill themselves (I maintain I did nothing wrong, but also good riddance that place was really negatively affecting my headspace), as I had bookmarked a good many links, videos, and newspaper articles, but I think I've got most of that sorted out and recovered now.

I'll get around to revising/rewriting/continuing those essays, and I'll post them eventually, I just no longer want to put a deadline on it. Anyway, if you're itching to read the originals, here's a Google Drive link to a .pdf collecting the initial three parts as they first appeared here and on the Something Awful forums.

[theageofsims]

First of all, thank you to @akitasimblr for sending out something to Tumblr staff even though I was holding off on asking someone to do that. 😂 I had read Tumblr stuff's confirmation email to me that to not have your friends send us stuff -- well too bad. 😂 It was sent and who knows, maybe that did the trick, but I thank you regardless for your help. Also thank you @memoirsofasim for wanting to do the same thing for me. ♥️♥️♥️

Hey All... I seem to be back on my blogs! I didn't expect it because I hadn't heard back from Tumblr support. I read that sometimes you don't get an email back from them though.

I checked a few times last night and once this morning but there was nothing.

I reached out to a few of my mutuals from another account I made quickly just to reach out to them to let them know what happened.

So what did happen? I posted two posts extremely quickly back to back from my queue and then I went off the app to go and check my personal Instagram for something. I came back within about 2 minutes and found that the app was spazzing out on me. So what I did was I closed the app, cleared the data and the cache in the app settings, and then went to log-in. My password wouldn't go through so I got out of bed and went to my computer and opened the browser to find me logged out there as well. So I went to type in the password, it wouldn't work. I then decided to change the password and that's when I was hit with the termination screen.

I have read a lot about this since yesterday morning when it happened and it appears to be happening to people as far back as 2016. Most of the information I can find is from 2021, but it goes as far back as 2016 or even more than that.

I know some Simblrs lost their accounts years ago and never got them back, but also recently, like in the past 4 months, Simmers who post their CC or Sims content were also just terminated one day out of the blue.

So please -- BACK UP YOUR BLOGS or at least back up your stories somewhere off this site. Luckily I have my Age of Sims story backed up since day one on my own computer and Google Drive, but I hadn't done that for my Legacy Powhatan story and was sure it was gone forever.

[robbyykeene]

Hey, quick non-CK question - what do you mean you got in trouble for hoarding URLs?? I didn't even know that was a THING?

Yeah haha. Not sure how long you’ve been on tumblr, but back in the day (like 10-12+ years ago) hoarding URLs was a big thing, especially in fandom spaces. Basically the idea was that you create a bunch of inactive sideblogs to save a URL that you might want to use in the future. At this point in time, switching back and forth between URLs was also a lot more common. I think some people even used to sell their URLs, or trade other URLs for them which is crazy. There was an entire URL hoarding real estate. It was actually a huge problem lol, I remember wanting to enter certain fandom spaces but being unable to get a URL related to it. And back then I feel like fandoms were a little harder to breach into, especially if you didn’t have a blog that looked like it should belong there—or maybe I was just younger and didn’t know how to interact with people lol, but either way it was still frustrating.

However, Tumblr has since (not sure when exactly) banned URL hoarding. Idk what exactly they quantify as hoarding, but I did have at least a few dozen URLs saved from over a decade ago that I honestly didn’t even remember I had. Most of them were related to emo bands lmao. I think what happened in my case is that this sideblog got caught in the tumblr spam filter somehow, which is why for months I wasn’t able to reply to people and was bot having posts appear in the tags. A lot of people have been having problems with being incorrectly flagged as spam in the last couple years, due to the algorithms they use to detect potential spam accounts. The real problem is that once your account has been flagged tumblr doesn’t notify you or communicate the problem to you, so if you don’t know what to look for (which I didn’t) you don’t know how to properly report the problem. I contacted support a few times but because I reported it as a bug, I suspect it didn’t go to the right place. Eventually this led to my account being terminated without warning or notification. I reached out to tumblr support on multiple platforms, and I think when they looked into the issue they saw that I had a bunch of URLs hoarded and suspended my main account (but restored access to this one). I deleted all the saved URLs, emailed support back, and they released my main account back. All in all I’m just happy with how quickly they resolved the issue tbh, I know a lot of people have spent months trying to get a terminated/suspended account back so I feel pretty grateful. And honestly I think it’s good that tumblr enforces the ban on URL hoarding, bc I remember how upsetting it was being like 12 years old and unable to get a URL related to the thing I really cared about.

[talisidekick]

Ban Wave Occuring

If you're not aware, for reasons unspecified, Tumblr staff are doing a bit of a ban wave. It seems to be targetting the accounts of Transgender people mostly. From what I've seen, it looks to be more weighted towards trans feminine people, though that could be reporting bias. Given my butt is trans fem, if this blog goes down, you can find me on:

Youtube:

Where if I get hit by this, I'll probably make a video about it. Likely go over some of my older more successful posts. And then launch myself into a rant about everything I've seen happen in the last few months.

Twitch:

Where I host at least one confirmed stream weekly on Sunday evenings, and I do a random stream in the week to keep you on your toes. But don't worry! I only play story driven videogames on Sundays so if you miss the random stream, all you're missing is a few chill hours of me yammering.

Transfem.Social:

Where I'll move my blog posts to if Tumblr nukes me. You can silence me off the platform, but you can't silence me completely. I'm a talkative idiot. I got enough hot air to be a politician, I'm just too poor to campaign.

Ko-Fi:

Where I will also be co-posting if Tumblr nukes my blog! I can't stress this enough. I know I'm an engagement factory. I say trans supportive stuff, I loudly yell about trans rights. I've even got my own slogan: "None of us are free until all of us are." which is only because "Stay ungovernable, stay silly" was ... actually, let me make a poll on that ... but ... like if you want less engagement ... go on ... ban me. I'll delete my own major posts. Save this one.

And lastly, I'm trying Mastodon:

We'll see how this goes.

Basically, if this blog goes down, please share this post. I'm a bit of a loud mouth so there's a chance I might get terminated just for not shutting up. I'll admit I'm a bit of a target. Also, I'm pinning this post.

Trans Rights are Human Rights.

^.^

None of us are free until all of us are!

[askagamedev]

What happened to the blog for several days last week? It vanished for a time like a fanboy's approval :-)

In the middle of last week, an attacker took control of my account and deleted my blog. I put in a service request and the blog was restored this past Sunday. I've taken steps to archive it and am looking into mirroring the blog on Wordpress or some similar blogging site just for the sake of redundancy. I'm just glad it was able to come back, my entire account was terminated so the blog nuking took both the post archive and the entire backlog of questions and drafts I had written but not published. That said, I'm in the middle of a month of a lot of personal business I need to work through so my ability to post new content for the next couple of weeks will be limited.

[Join us on Discord] and/or [Support us on Patreon]

Got a burning question you want answered?

Short questions: Ask a Game Dev on Twitter

Long questions: Ask a Game Dev on Tumblr

Frequent Questions: The FAQ

[feuqueerfire]

Spare Me Your Mercy Ep 1 - 5 Live Blogging

Haven't watched a BL in a few months (Sept 13 to be specific) because I've been preoccupied with Dan and Phil (got into them again after a few years lol) and then got super busy oof.

But now... I yearn for the yaoi. Don't have time to watch a full 12 episode series but maybe an 8 ep series that has 3 eps out and is releasing 2eps/week hm. Also, my tiktok FYP doesn't really have BLs/series but lately I get the occasional Spare Me Your Mercy (+ Highschool Frenemy lol) tiktoks, so that has me thinking of this show as well.

This has been one of my most anticipated series, so I really hope it's great, please please please. Last thing I watched was 4 Minutes, which was also highly anticipated + by Sammon and seemed like it had a cool plot and things to say but uhhhhh let me down in the end :/ Hope this one goes better pleaseeee

Ep 1 (Dec 08)

gorgeous atmospheric stylistic beginning

oh no, he juuuust missed seeing his mom alive. Maybe he could've said hi and stuff if the accident didn't happen and he didn't have to do a detour to the hospital

the Nurse is gangster kid's mom from I Will Knock You

ah, 3 days ago. this is possibly what the mystery is, right? Whether our doc is killing the terminally ill patients who want to die? That's what I gathered from the tiktoks lol

Oh, another cancer related death already

who is this director?

I wonder what the nurses know about Dr. Kan. They're looking so suspicious when the captain wants to interview him

aw, Tew (Wasan?) getting to hear about his mom from Dr. Kan

The translations are a bit... ~32:35 when he says "Mom loves/d me a lot" but it translated as "Mom loves you a lot" like huh? no

"Make sure to check thoroughly" um… why does it seem like the Director is asking to possibly frame Kan even if the autopsy doesn't come up with anything

damn, 3 murders already

but this third murder... was it Kan? Like we see Kan in the car watching but then we don't see Kan doing the killing. and then the syringe is left behind?! girl. would Kan be so dumb. and what's up with the net on fire?

Ah, Grandpa Som from the beginning of the ep

Som thinks Dr. Kan's all-black clothes outfit is the spirit possessing him? but he's also quite afraid of Dr. Kan in general it seems

Curious first episode, I'm into it. Wanna watch next ep already rip but will hold off until at least tonight I think.

Okay, the thing is: If Kan has indeed been killing these patients, do they request the when and the how or has he been making these decisions on his own? Like in a tiktok, I think I saw him asking a patient if she fully consents to this + nobody is pressuring her, which I assume is him being asked to assist her in dying. However, would Tew's mother literally ask Kan to end her life the day her son is coming to visit?? hmmm

I would like Kan to be the killer, that's the most exciting

Ep 2 (Dec 11)

…was it Dr Kan who actually killed this old man as well despite his wishes?

i don’t fully get the medallion thief thing tbh

ah, insincere confession from Kan to throw Wasan off ig

I saw a post about how “you fee the same way i do. don’t hide it” “i’m not hiding it” wasn’t about their feelings for each other but about Kan saying Wasan is gay/likes men and Wasan saying I’m not denying that

Kan’s text not translated

Kan and Orn in kahoots

oh i so hope Kan, a doctor who the villagers see as an angel and takes care of patients better than their children, is indeed the killer

ooof only 26 mins watched and now i gotta go to work

Does he possess potassium chloride which he’s throwing out now or what

ah Wasan shows up…

Wasan is revealing info to make Kan think he doesn’t suspect him while he does right? Is Wasan gonna go through the fridge while Kan is busy cleaning up the bathroom

okayyyy yes i love Kan trying to hide things and Wasan trying to find things. cat and mouse

this director of the hospital is confusing who is he what are his motivations. though that’s true in general like for Dr Kan too

ahh what an exciting ending

Watched something on my ipad on my way to work + back after a long time. Fun.

Ep 3 (Dec 11/12)

Ep 4 came out today and I think I saw a tiktok where Wasan's arresting Kan hm we'll see

hmm who is this new character doing a narration? and Boss's idol is Kan hmhmhm

Ah, we learn that KCL can't just be stored by the doctor in their possession, only at the hospital

Boss is in kahoots with Kan and Orn...

Boss managed to play the "I'm dumb" card to throw off his "I'm suspicious" card I guess

they’re getting consent and doing it with the sick person’s knowledge hm perhaps the third dead guy was a different person or smth diff happened

they administered Zapa’s KCL in front of people okayyy so other people know of this i guess? interesting. could there be any possibility that Wasan’s sister knows?

wait. Boss and the Director? also did Boss call the director and not Kan??? or what?

giggling over their convo about their relationship over coffee. Sooooo into their demeanours, especially Wasan’s. but also don’t fully know if Kan is kidding

okay wait so Boss and Director are fucking around (well Director might love Boss who knows but Boss is there for survival) but Boss is indeed working for Kan and Director… might know it’s Kan from previous murders he has committed

oh nooo Wasan’s regrets about his mom

damn did Kan and Wasan get close af or smth, that was just one convo on the mountain

still them cancelling plans is cute somehow

ahhhh accusations

Ep 4 (Dec 13)

this director’s bf story kinda reminds me of Under The Whispering Door which I read last week and also had a side character who has a bf for three years who fell ill and passed away

interesting oppositions about Dr. Kan’s actions. I’m torn and don’t actually know where I stand, especially because of the Canada MAiD system and how it’s not… actually helping but rather just a way to have disabled people/ill people die instead of providing them with a better quality of life

I’m gonna assume the text they didn’t translate is Wasan telling Kan that he saw him leaving the Director’s house by car or smth

Their interactions are so fun because they’re each hiding stuff (well Kan is hiding and Wasan is trying to find out). And I also can’t tell how much they actually like each other vs are just trying to throw the other off/trying to catch the other

i’m a bit confused about the cars like how would the Director’s car be leaving and Kan’s car also be leaving if we assume Kan had Director bound at the back of his car

is this true? director left by himself? hmmmmm

please, the cop questioning Kan being confused as hell when it comes out that Kan and Wasan were together the night before lol

ohhhh Kan probably injected Director, so he drove as fast as he could to the hospital but died almost there

man, that’s so horrid if Kan actually killed the director, i hope it’s true. a doctor who euthanized terminally ill patients with their consent but his head got too big and so killed Nipon without consent and the director to hide his secrets hmhmhm

actually horrid how the phone call names aren’t translated either

ah, we get to see that this email wasn’t actually sent by the director but instead how he was killed

the cops are lyingggg saying they were onto the director and he fled

ah so indeed somebody else killed director and likely they also killed Nipon, it’s not Kan. Boss? since he’s involved and is a man like the nipon murder case suggested? could be Orn but she wasn’t at the directors house when Kan called her

ahh Wasan pointing a gun at the intruder not knowing it’s Kan

Wasan patting down Kan could’ve been a liiiitle more horny tbh lol

“I never thought you would lie to me” is a little too emotional considering their current relationship but sure

ah, that’s the handcuffing. i thought Wasan would have more evidence against Kan to be doing that tbh

bruh how is it half over, should’ve been 10-12 eps frrrr

immediately onto next ep

Ep 5 (Dec 13)

girl the director opposed abortion?

“there’s nothing more truthful than this” well you did euthanize some patients, including perhaps Wasan’s mother who he didn’t get to say goodbye to and has regrets about

long hair? short hair? you can learn blood type from hair?

funny how their relationship seems to swing from accusations of being a murderer/hiding the euthanizations (?) and like… kinda sweet moments lmao. + new introduction of questioning Kan about the other killer

it must be Boss right? said Professor to director and was asking about Kan

oh lol they immediately mention Boss

trying to remember if we know Kan is working with Boss or if I just assumed they were in kahoots because of the KCL thing hm

oh interesting, I guess Boss really did accuse the director of being the murderer because they’re showing the scene and they only tend to do that for real scenes. However, Boss could still be pretending to accuse the Director while he is the killer and also we don’t see how he actually died

not the fucking BDSM gear coming out as proof from Boss that he and the director were involved. If was I dead + being framed for murders (including Kan’s doings) + my bedroom escapades came out? girl i’m haunting you all

interesting to see the show position Boss as the spokesperson for the wrong reasons for euthanasia like how “terminal illness can affect families/healthcare workers and so it’s better the patients are dead” instead of focusing on the actual patients.

nooo the lesbians want to get married before one of them dies of lung cancer

girl don’t KCL someone so soon

please the flirting and teerak you know you’ve hit the jackpot? and i’ll get you another one next year how cute

and talking about Wasan’s mother girl… things are gonna go to shit when the truth comes out

‘give me some time’ ? girl i wanted a kiss (though i knew it wasn’t gonna happen bc i would’ve been spoiled for it by now like i saw some comment about the teerak thing i def cudnt have avoided kiss)

girl what the fuck is that Boss?

nooo the fucker got Urai before she and Cream could get married?

not the fucking pen?! but he probably just left it there previously (not the murder the night before), that feels unsuspicious because we knowwwww that Kan was in this room before. but maybe bc he again lied to Wasan about keeping it safe in the house?

fuckkkk i’m all caught up so i gotta wait more than 4 days till next ep

I'm curious to see:

1) Who is doing the other murders and how they'll be found out. Current theory is obviously Boss since he killed the Director and advocates for euthanasia for patients who are a "burden." I'm also very curious to see if the Doctor who is doing the autopsies has any hand in anything because sometimes she looks so suspicious... I had actually thought she was working with Director on something sinister in the first few eps.

2) How the romance progresses (I'm curious to see more flirting/kisses lol) and also like lowkey where are we in the relationship? How serious is this? Kinda confused because I thought it was kinda lightly treading considering they haven't known each other that long + the accusations and suspicions but the emotional reaction Wasan had about Kan lying was like oh... + Wasan asking Kan to give him more time? idk. also wanna see how they deal with Kan being the reason Wasan's mother likely passed away and all of Wasan's baggage with that.

[whitehotharlots]

Taylor Swift: The BPD Christ

The New York Times just ran a reeeaaalllly creepy, 5,000 word piece speculating that Taylor Swift is secretly queer. It follows a pattern familiar to those of us who spent any time on schizoid identity tumblr in the early twenty-teens, purporting that Swift has long been issuing secret, coded messages in her lyrics and manner of dress:

When looking back on the artifacts of the months before that album’s release, any close reader of Ms. Swift has a choice. We can consider the album’s aesthetics and activism as performative allyship, as they were largely considered to be at the time. Or we can ask a question, knowing full well that we may never learn the answer: What if the “Lover Era” was merely Ms. Swift’s attempt to douse her work — and herself — in rainbows, as so many baby queers feel compelled to do as they come out to the world?

Understandably, the piece generated a strong sense of confusion and disgust among people whose brains have not yet completely melted. And you might be wondering... just, how? This shit was disquieting enough when it was confined to the blogs of mentally unwell pre-teens. How did this get printed in the country's largest newspaper? A-and not even in the Entertainment section, this was a featured OpEd.

Well, I got a theory. Stick with me:

It's very common for pre-pubescent girls to develop strong emotional/romantic attachments to celebrities and pretend that they're dating. These fantasies usually resolve themselves by the the time the girls fully enter puberty and begin experiencing sexual attraction to people around their own age.

I read an academic paper about this years ago. I can't find it now, but here's a good summary from Psychology Today:

Consider crushes are of two kinds – identity crushes and romantic crushes. In both cases, the teenager feels smitten by a compelling person who captivates their attention, for good and ill. (A third kind is the celebrity crush that shapes ideals and stirs fantasies, but there is usually no interpersonal contact to play them out. However, this is definitely where the market for celebrity posters comes in, to decorate teenage bedroom walls.)In all three cases, the young person largely projects onto another person idealized attributes the admirer highly values and wants to be associated with. Then she or he attaches strong positive feelings to the perfectly wonderful image that has been created. Crushes have more to do with fantasy than with reality, and they tell much more about the admirer than the admired. It’s because they usually prove unrealistic that in a relatively short time they soon wear off. But it is because of the idealization that crushes have such momentary power. This is why parents need to respect an adolescent crush and not dismiss or put it down. After all, it is an early approximation of love. While it lasts it is seriously held, so it should be seriously treated.

Again, this is completely normal when it's done by young girls.

My theory is as follows: I think people stop emotionally developing at whatever age they become terminally online. If you start posting at age 11, you're going to emotionally be 11 years old until you die.

I sincerely believe this is the only explanation for Swift's messianic popularity. She is the Christ figure for grown women with severe personality disorders, which is basically every woman who was born after 1990 or so. Taylor is not just an artist, nor even an aspirational figure. They've all convinced themselves that Taylor is their best friend and that she just happens to evince all the traits they desire in a woman who exists without sin. Anything that contradicts this--such as Taylor being a straight woman--must be refuted.

[squid-god-supreme]

hi everybody it me ya boy

i know that it has been a long time now since ive posted and even though this blog has been restored and i could go on as normal, i think i have come to like my new blog @squiddy-god since i have already begun to post on that blog and port over most of my fics

i will still probably remain active on this blog and keep it around but i really encourage all of you to go follow the new blog if you want to see more of the fics i write, i love all 4000ish of you guys and i hope eventually the new blog can get to be that big too

on the new blog you guys can send in things for there too! you can send in request for continuations of my old works as well as my new works that have been written on the old blog, if you see this and thing

"ah i had a request for this guy" feel free to send it over to the new and shiny blog!!!

i love all of you so much and losing this blog was devastating since i have had it since my early days of middle and highschool, it has been such a big part of my experience and how i engage in fandoms so loosing it so suddenly and then spending months trying to get it recovered was hell for me.

so here is what happened, i tried to log in the day before my last post and my blog had fully been deleted, i spent the next months trying to contact support however i got no response until about a week or two ago when they finally responded asking if i still wanted to process the appeal, i obviously said yes however it was just restored today

the reason it was terminated was that it somehow falsely triggered the anti spam protection and got nuked like a roach-

over this time i had already basically fully restored my blog on the new one @squiddy-god and even have posted several new fics over there, so for those reasons ive decided to now start posting on that blog while keeping the content i already have on this blog.

id really like to thank you for following me, and if you would follow me on the new blog for more content i would be very grateful, you have all made this such a fantastic experience and i hope we can continue that on the new and improved blog.

[androgynousblackbox]

Have you ever liked anything? You're correct about these youtubers but every post of yours I can find on the archive is you being angry and swearing about how much you hate something. What is one thing you are genuinely passionate and kind about that brings you joy?

Dude, I had this blog for more than five years at this point. I seriously doubt that you actually looked at every post I have made since then. I do talk about lots of things I enjoy. Not a lot lately because hey, turns out depression is a fucking dick that sucks you dry, who knew! If you want to know why I was depressed as fuck, my dog had to be put to sleep because terminal cancer and a less than a month later my other dog died from heart complications in my room. In fact, I am standing right where she fucking convulsed until she just expired as I type this! I couldn't enjoy shit. I couldn't even hate shit. I was fucking nothing for months. I know, you didn't really ask that and this is super heavy to throw to a stranger. But hey, if you want to tell me about how curious it is that I hate so much in my own blog, which I think is rude as fuck, then I believe that is good reason to say what is up. I wrote a fuck ton about how I buried both of them and my legs were sore for days if you also want to check that out in the archive. So be assured, me ranting so much about Jamesy and other shitty youtubers is a fucking ass improvement from where I was before. I love horror. I love monsters. I love the darkness as your friend. I love complicated characters that love despite everything, even despite themselves. I love a well written tragedy. I love blood, gore and messed up pairings that fit together like the worst puzzle pieces ever made in hell. I love musicals, metal, rock and covers. I love villains with principles and heroes falling from grace. I love writing and reading and movies. I love queer shit. I love receiving recommendations for queer shit that people think I could like, and so many of them I actually loved! I love my new dog that I got and now is sleeping under my desk. My last "positive" post was me talking about getting into Stardew Valley with a friend and making horny Elliott fanart because he is the fucking best. I just uploaded yesterday even! It got kinda buried among all the other Jamesy stuff, but it's still there.

[satanssquidgy]

Hello everyone! As you all know its been a while since my account got terminated and unfortunately I am still waiting for a response from tumblr, I just wanted to make a quick announcement that if I do not get my accounts back in a month, maybe less, I will probably give up on trying to get them back

I will keep this account and probably turn it into my new main, and I will create new side blogs for giffing and writing. It sucks because that's the last thing I want to do, it means that a whole year of blog growth will go down the drain and I will have to start from scratch which really really sucks but I don't want to give up my hobbies so if I have to start over then so be it.

I really don't know what's taking so long, I've never seen tumblr take this long to give someone their account back which makes me think someone maliciously reported my account which wouldn't be surprising to me at all. I really do hope I can get everything back, I really really do :(

For now, I'm just going to be messing around with things and posting here and there but nothing major, and no fics. I just wanted to give y'all an update <3