#i want us to accept each other for who we are!!!! to fit our pieces together!!!!

[devotioncrater]

i think about a love that is warm and safe and i collapse inside because i want it too much

[hallowpen]

The Secret of Us and the allegory of the puzzle...

I think one of the major overarching themes in this series is that you cannot force something to fit where it doesn't want to belong. And the only way to 'complete' the picture, ideally, is to patiently allow the pieces to be put together in the way they're supposed to.

I really really want to talk about Lada and how much I resonated with her as a character. In order for me to do that, I have to explain some cultural insights that revolve around Lada's familial structure.

Funnily enough, I was recently discussing certain matrilineal cultures that exist in Thailand and how they perpetuate a lot of bigoted ideals... and that is shown beautifully in Lada's relationship with her parents and how they each react to her queerness. To me, it seemed clear that Lada's parents' marriage was born from matrilocal customs. And unfortunately, that's not really something you would be able to pick up on if you weren't Thai (or natively Asian in general). So... in these types of families, women hold a lot of authority, and that authority is passed on through the female line (which is why daughters are valued over sons). The wife would manage and have the final say regarding household matters, including how the children are raised... and the husband's duty would be to respect his wife. A mother and her daughter maintain a continuous relationship with one another as, should the daughter marry, her husband would come to stay with them until they have a family of their own (and sometimes even after). It's a good way to strengthen matrilineal kinship, but it puts enormous cultural pressure on the daughter who is raised with very high expectations... the most pressuring of which is to marry a man and to have natural born children. Should the daughter not 'fit' this mold, they are often ostracized from the family.

It gives new meaning to hearing Khun Russamee say, "Lada is the seed I've nurtured since birth," doesn't it? It's why she is so against accepting and understanding Lada and Earn's relationship. Because in her mind, there doesn't exist a future where two women can uphold these matrilineal customs... and so the only reason Earn must be pursuing Lada is for some form of exploitation (i.e. money). She justifies her cruel and queerphobic behavior to keep them apart as some form of misaligned protection of her daughter and her daughter's future... to keep her from being taken advantage of and to help her see reason. It doesn't excuse the behavior at all... but at least you can understand the motivation (no matter how terrible). These types of mothers exist in the reality of Thai society... it's not just some cliched villain narrative. I'm speaking from experience here (NOT MY MOM! I LOVE MY MOM... my mother's mother).

In Thailand, we hold strong to the notion of บุญคุณ ('bunkhun'). This notion perpetuates the idea that we owe an endless debt of gratitude to our parents. It's seen as our "moral obligation". (Similar ideas exist in other Asian countries, as well)

Lada has done everything right. She's loved and obeyed her mother, she's cultivated a successful career with intentions to take over from her parents' leadership of the hospital, she's set herself up to be able to support her family's needs... She cannot imagine a life where her mother could ever not support her or her choices. Her one "fault" is that she is in love with a woman and refuses to conform to her mother's insistent heteronormative intentions (I loved the juxtaposition of this against P'Nu's defeated acceptance btw). She's rightfully exhausted from all the pressure to 'fit' her mother's mold of the perfect daughter, and Earn recognizes that.

So when her mother falls ill, and Lada is expected to take responsibility, it makes sense from the perspective of her familial structure. When she sacrifices her happiness for her mother and Earn understands the reasons why... it makes sense. Khun Russamee only comes to believe that Earn truly does love Lada once Earn willingly steps away from their relationship to ease Lada's mother's expectations... it's twisted, but it makes sense. And Khun Russamee does apologize, for whatever the frik that's worth (I can only try so much guys 😞😞😞) It's just part of our ingrained culture to value family despite their abusive behaviors. And as much as I wish that weren't the case, these views remain an actual reality. So, it isn't dishonest to portray them.

...The point is, the final pieces of the puzzle could only come together once they were allowed to. And then we finally got our happy ending!!!

Could certain story elements stand to be improved? Yes... but they're no worse than anything we've seen from BL series. And I do believe as time goes on, with more and more GL content being made, the writing will get better and stronger (I hope 🤞🏾🤞🏾🤞🏾).

Despite the more problematic writing, Lingling and Orm were outstanding in their roles. Never have I seen two artists, in all of the Thai QL I've watched, be so in tune to their characters and their emotions. Everything from their dramatic scenes to their more subtle facial expressions were completely on point. It was a pleasure to witness... and the biggest draw for me as a viewer. Well done!!!

[writeblrcafe]

Webzine submissions open for writing!

Dear writers on tumblr, pour yourself a drink on the house. We've been asking for editors for our webzine in the last few weeks (you can still sign up here). We are focusing on going into different worlds. Now, we can announce that we are accepting writing submissions for it!

Who can submit writing?

All writers can submit writing to our zine, whether you have already published other works. Or have previously shared other writing pieces on [tumblr] or Archive of our own (or similar platforms). Our editors will pick their favourite pieces for each category based on different criteria, the most important thing is how well the pieces fit our theme Portal to Another World.

What kind of writing can I submit?

We are open to any form of writing! You can submit any form of writing from poetry, prose, flash fiction, a short story, song lyrics or even a non-fiction essay. As long as it fits the theme and is unpublished. Our theme is Portal to Another World. Unpublished in this case means it isn't published in print or online. You can't submit excerpts from your WIPs when they can't be understood outside the context of your WIP.

Will you compensate me?

As much as we would love to pay all contributors, we don't have the funds. We discussed this on our server and decided we want our zine accessible to all readers. Understand this is a passion project, so you will not be compensated for your writing. The finished zine will be shared as a free PDF download with a pay-what-you-want option on our KoFi. The little money we make from the zine will be used to fund future projects of writeblrcafé (e.g. a second zine) and boosts for our Discord server.

Where can I submit my writing?

Just fill in the form below! You can submit your writing as a PDF file. The word limit for prose is 2500 words. The limit for poetry is 50 verses. You can only submit one piece of writing. If your piece of writing is longer, feel free to submit it. We will decide on a case-to-case basis. We hope many of you take this chance to collaborate on our webzine, which will be compiled in a compelling design.

Extended submissions deadline: 15th July

Submissions for artwork will open soon!

Please reblog this post to spread the word in the writing community!

[demigod-shenanigans]

Snippet from an entry for my canon divergent oneshot series that I’m still working on (idk why this is in present tense, either, that might change in the actual fic, we’ll see):

Reyna watches them for a moment.

Leo is splashing Jason, showing no signs of stopping and loudly complaining that it’s no fun if Jason doesn’t retaliate. She waits for Jason to tell him to knock it off.

He doesn’t. He smiles serenely, then raises a hand and uses the winds to push a whole bunch of water right in Leo’s face.

“Dude! Foul!” Leo splutters, but he’s laughing. He makes a very poor attempt to dunk Jason—he doesn’t have the arm strength to do any real damage—but Jason lets himself fall backwards, and then they both go under.

When they reappear they’re both laughing.

Jason is looking down at Leo, beaming, and something clicks into place in Reyna’s head, a puzzle piece that hadn’t seemed to fit suddenly slotting in perfectly.

“You good?” Piper asks when she reappears at her side, now wearing a baseball cap and slightly smudged sunscreen.

Despite the responsibility she so obviously holds for the other campers—expertly demonstrated by every fight she’s broken up between their respective camps these past few weeks—her expression is utterly carefree in this moment. The concept seems foreign to Reyna, but there’s something incredibly powerful about it, too. With the sun illuminating her from behind, Piper looks almost celestial.

“I’m- yes. I’m alright.” Reyna realizes she’s been staring, and judging by how she’s smirking, clearly Piper has noticed. Reyna swallows, forcing herself to direct her gaze back to Jason and Leo, who are still busy splashing each other.

“I’ll resist the urge to tease you because I’m nice.” Piper could have said it smugly, but halfway through her tone melts into something much softer. “I never asked before, but from how you two interact, I get the feeling that this Jason is pretty different from the person he was before Leo and I subjected him to our combined chaotic energy. That has to be hard.”

And it is hard, to look at the best friend that’s been missing for months and find him, suddenly, a stranger. To realize you might never get him back.

This Jason has always seemed wrong to Reyna, somehow. Like some part of him broke that she doesn’t know how to fix.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen Jason laugh like that,” she says, and the moment the words leave her mouth the truth of what’s changed slams into her like a boulder. He’s different because he’s happier. This Jason that laughs freely and thinks of childish retaliation as a perfectly acceptable response to Leo’s splashing is whole in a way no version of him Reyna knew had ever been. Things don’t seem off to her because there’s anything wrong with Jason—it’s because they grew up with twin holes in their chests, and now his heart beats vividly while her chest still rings hollow. “I can’t remember the last time I let myself laugh like that, either.”

She doesn’t mean to admit that last part out loud, but it slips out regardless, like it so startlingly often does with Piper. It’s been happening more and more since she’s first offered to share Reyna’s burden.

Something about being around Piper gets her talking, emotions bleeding out of her like through an open wound she doesn’t know how to staunch. A wound she isn’t sure she wants to staunch, if she’s fully honest with herself. It makes her feel light-headed.

“I can get you into the lake, too, if that’s what you want,” Piper offers immediately.

Reyna raises an eyebrow at her in amusement. “You could not push me in if you tried.”

“No, but I could always use my charmspeak.” Piper grins. “It is really hot today. And they look like they’re having fun, don’t they? Why don’t we join them?”

[onskepa]

Hi!

Can we get a part 2 for fyolup? She came to visit Neteyam at the metkayina and wears bikini for swimming. Aonung seems to eye her and neteyam turns into a protective jealous bf

Oooooooooooh gotta love a jelly na'vi bf! Hope you like this one!

Fyolup pt1

-----------------

Fyolup: Eyes on me

When neteyam was told that his cute fyolup was coming with Norm to the metkayina village, he was over the moon. How he missed her so much! There was so much neteyam to tell her. What he learned, how his new life settled, but most of all, how much he has grown. And of course show off what he is capable of. Not to mention his new tattoos on his arm. 

Already neteyam has things planned out for when she arrives. A full day of great activities, some including his siblings and some just for them two. Just thinking about it gets him riled up. 

But also, Neteyam wonders what cute clothing fyolup would wear? Something suitable but also stylish to fit her taste. Of course, knowing her, fyolup would wear something for his eyes only and no one else.

“Neteyam!” 

The sweet sound of the voice he longed to hear again called out to him. On the sandy beach, not too far from him stood was fyulop. She has grown a lot in the past few months. Wearing his favorite teal summer dress, and a bright smile on her cute face. 

Unable to hold it in, neteyam makes a run for it, and so does fyulop. Meeting each other in the middle, the girl jumps into his arms as he holds her tightly as he spun her around. Loud laughter escaped their lips, wide smiles and great happiness. For fyulop, it felt so good to be back in her lover’s arms. The feel of his skin touching hers, hearing his voice again. She missed it so much. 

Not putting her down, rather carrying her on his shoulder, they stare at each other's eyes and foreheads touching. “I missed you ma’sevin” neteyam whispers to her ear. Humming in agreement, she nods. “And I have missed you ma’yawne” she replies. Having not rush to go back home, neteyam takes his time to show her firstly the grand beach. Holding her tightly so that she doesn't fall, not like she will. Neteyam starts to talk, letting his mind wander on recent memories. 

And fyulop is all more eager to listen. 

“Neteyam, while I appreciate you looking at me for a long time, I am having self doubts now. Does it look good or not…?” Fyulop asks nervously. When she revealed her swimsuit, neteyam was in deep awestruck. He couldn't help but stare at her. 

Her swimming outfit was a two piece. Strapless top with a matching bottom that was light blue with thin waving white lines. Giving the illusion of underwater lighting. To add to her personal touch, fyulop collected small shells from the beach and added it to her swimsuit. It is the little things that make things stand out more. 

“I'm sorry love, it's just…oh eywa you look breathtaking” neteyam praises. Red hue colored fyulop’s cheeks. She certainly missed his praises. 

Offering his hand, fyulop accepts. “Come on, there is so much I want to show you” neteyam tells her excitedly. Taking her from his family pod, he carefully leads her through the rather bouncy paths. Fyulop couldn't help but giggle as she bounces her way. It was like jumping on a trampoline!

“Here, this is an ilu, like the dire horses at home. The people here use like in similar ways” neteyam explains while gently holding his ilu. Fyulop strokes its head gently, liking the pleasing sounds. And the ilu makes a sound of happiness, nudging his head against hers. 

“He likes you” neteyam comments. 

“I'm glad, cause I like him too. Such an adorable cutie you are” fyulop says in her baby voice. 

Not far from where they are, ao’nung, rotxo, and lo’ak were nearing the shore with their ilu’s. Ao’nung noticed the human girl, his eyes fixated on her. 

“Hey lo’ak, who is that?” he asks while pointing at fyulop. Lo’ak sees where he pointing at, “oh, that is fyulop. She came with our uncle norm to visit. Don't worry, she is harmless' ' lo'ak answers. But Ao'nung still couldn't stop staring at her or her pretty smile. 

“Is she single?”

“Hey fyulop, long time no see” Lo’ak welcomes the human girl with glee. Giving each other a warm hug, lo’ak joins in on whatever she and neteyam were doing. “So you are just going to ignore us lo’ak?” Rotxo teases behind the forest boy. Chuckling a bit, lo’ak shakes his head. “Right, sorry”. 

Gently pushing ao’nung and rotxo in front of him, he points at who is who, “fyulop, this is ao’nung and rotxo. Guys, this is fyulop, she was born and raised here in pandora like spider” lo’ak introduces. 

Fyulop giggled lightly, something that made ao’nung blush a tiny bit. Her giggles sounded so cute. He looks over and sees neteyam staring down at her with love and adoration. Crap, are they together? Hopefully not. 

“Nice to meet you both. I hope you treated neteyam and his family well?” Fyulop asks. This made the boys chuckle nervously. “What? What happened? Did you guys fight each other?” Fyulop asks curiously. 

“Well…you see..”

“Skxawngs. All of you. Especially you neteyam. It is much for lo’ak to start but for you to continue it?” Fyulop gently scolds the boys as they tell her about their rough start of getting along. She gently tugs neteyam’s ear while making a playful yet serious face. Neteyam couldn't help but chuckle, her fingers were to ticklish! 

Ao’nung saw their interaction, feeling his tail thump against the sand rather harshly. 

“Speaking of, how much has neteyam showed you of our home?” he asks, switching the subject. Fyulop took a moment to think, “so far the pods, the beach and the cute ilu’s” she replies. Ao’nung make a clicking sound, shaking his head. “Clearly he is skipping the more exciting stuff. Why not let me show you the better parts of our home?” he offers. 

Fyulop gasps happily, “really?” she asks. 

“Of course, what better guide than me?” 

Fyulop looks up to neteyam, her eyes already asking the question. He sighs, “he is right, but still”. 

Taking the chance, ao’nung gets up and gently grabs fyulop’s hand already leading her the way. As he and fyulop began to chat, neteyam, lo’ak and rotxo looked at ao’nung with a surprised expression on their faces. 

“Oh no he didn't” 

“Oh yes he did”

“And here is where we mostly trade things. Fish for beads, seaweed for grains, just about anything. There is something for everyone” Ao’nung shows fyulop the common areas that the na’vi spend their time. He showed her all the best places, ao’nung was pretty proud and a bit smug too. Getting cute reactions from fyulop was a treat. Even better to see neteyam fuming behind them. 

Fyulop was enjoying sightseeing. The metkayina was so vastly different from the omatikaya! From how they look, to their ways, culture and style of clothing. Already fyulop had ideas of creating ocean inspired clothing. Maybe style it similar to how the metkayina do. 

Neteyam on the other hand did not enjoy it. Nope. Not one bit. 

If looks could kill, ao’nung would be deep in the belly of an akula. 

Ao’nung had the sheer balls to not only touch fyulop but also hug her! Fyulop’s hugs are exclusive to neteyam only! Ok maybe his siblings too but mostly him! And too see that puny fishy skxawng touching his beloved made his anger rise deep within. 

And poor fyulop, took caught up in the new experiences didn't notice what fishlips was clearing trying to do. 

Well, as her boyfriend and protector, neteyam knows what slimy things that fishy na’vi prince can do.

If ao’nung knew just how easy it was to sway fyulop to trust him, he would have done it on the spot! Fyulop is just so cute and her clothing suits her figure. Actually, speaking of her clothing. 

Ao’nung haven't really seen much of how humans dress. So to see this human girl dress in a certain way excites him. There is a lot to learn and see something new within fyulop and hopefully be closer to her.

However, as days pass, almost as if on purpose, ao’nung takes fyulop’s time most of the day. Taking her wherever he wants, personally teaches her many things neteyam wanted to show her, among other things. And would shove the poor forest boy to the side. Giving no room for neteyam to intervene. 

And it was pissing neteyam off. 

Having enough of it, he did the only thing he knew best.

“You know fyulop, you interest me a lot. It would be nice if you stayed longer. Spending time with you has been a lot of fun” Ao’nung tells fyulop. Together they walk across the sandy shores, the small waves of the sea barely touching their feet. 

“It certainly has been a lot of fun. And while living here seems like a good idea, I worry for neteyam. He already has enough stuff to worry about” 

Ao’nung makes an annoyed sigh. “I doubt that. But either way, at least think it over. We could have a lot more fun. Together”. He holds fyulop’s hands into his larger ones. Making eye contact and hopefully what he is trying to do works. 

Only it didn't. 

Fyulop was gently yanked back by an angry neteyam. 

“I think you had enough time with her,” Neteyam says. Trying his best not to hiss at ao’nung. But the reef prince scoffs a bit smugly. “And who are you to choose for her? She can do what she wants”. 

“You’re absolutely right ao’nung” Fyulop agrees. 

The boy smirks at neteyam who only glares harder. 

“That means I can do this” 

With a gentle yet quick yank from his necklace, neteyam was yanked down and was given the most passionate kiss ever. 

Fyulop was kissing him as if to prove something. And boy did neteyam enjoyed it. With zero hesitation, neteyam kisses back, laughing on the inside. If he were to have a fourth finger right now, he would be flipping it in ao’nungs face. 

“And, what I want to do is spend my time with my sweet neteyam. Thank you ao’nung for showing me, but I think neteyam can take it from here” fyulop says with a not so innocent smile. 

Ao’nung was shocked, flabbergasted, speechless, and everything else. Damn it. 

“You heard her skxawng” Neteyam says with a victorious smirk on his face. Clicking his tongue, ao’nung leaves in defeat. 

With a happy cheer, neteyam picks up his love and spins her around. 

“You were so jealous~” the girl teases as she boops his nose. But neteyam caught her finger, gently nibbling it. “And you watched me. Didn't do anything to ease my heart” neteyam accuses. This made fyulop stroke his ears as she leans closer and asks in a cooing manner, “Than what can I do to ease your jealous heart?” 

He grins and replies “you know what” 

Aaaaaaaand that is it for this one! Was cute to write. Until next time! See ya!

[sunshine-jesse]

Ashley Graves Did Something Wrong

TCOAL plays a lot of fun games with the ways it makes you perceive events. From the title screen itself, to various pieces of official art, it primes you to accept certain narratives surrounding the game. Namely, the one that Ashley is very not good. She is, in fact, very bad! And it's pretty easy to see why- many of her actions fit neatly into the mold of an abuser. She's controlling, she tries to deflect blame, gaslights Andrew into making him take the blame for things she pushed him to do to begin with, and harasses other women to ruin his relationships with them.

It's all so easy, and makes so much sense. Case closed.

Right? Well, no. But actually yes! But actually, it's not that simple.

Y'see, as I said, the game establishes this framing from the get-go. It introduces us to our, uh, heroes and tells us in no uncertain terms that Ashley is bad and Andrew is a non-entity. It sets this framing intentionally so that many players will engage in a little quirk of human psychology called…

Confirmation bias!

I'm sure we all know what that is, right? Well, for those who don't, it's when we start with a bias towards something- or an idea of how things SHOULD be- and view every piece of evidence as confirmation that said bias is correct. The game, very blatantly, does this with Ashley's actions by priming us to see them as part of an abuse dynamic, with her as the primary abuser. And, indeed, it's not too hard to dig into Andrew's behavior and figure out that he, too, is fucked up and awful and come to the conclusion that their relationship was mutually fucked up and abusive. I did that in my last two essays, so I won't cover that ground again here. With this, it's easy to think that they bring out the worst in each other and that any relationship they have would be toxic, fucked up, dark, and every other word or phrase that describes the same idea, whether it makes them happy or not.

… But what if I told you that this, too, was an intentional misdirection?

So. Let us, for a moment, completely remove the framing that their relationship is toxic. Let us remove the framing that their relationship is abnormal or aberrant. Let's even remove the framing that either one of them is responsible for the harm of the other. I'm not arguing that any of this is not the case. Please, for the love of god, do not think that I am, if only so you can take the rest of what I have to say seriously. What I'm doing is trying to examine the two of them free of as many preconceptions as I can, using nothing but textual evidence and inference to figure out why Andrew and Ashley treat each other the way they do.

I will later examine why they MIStreat each other too, but first comes the reasons they treat each other well.

I'm going to start with Andrew, because, despite being the more complex of the two, it's actually pretty easy to figure out why he treats Ashley the way he does based on what he says. Let's go all the way back to the earliest known incident between the two in the story, where the two of them were at their most, uh, "pure," for lack of a better word: The cupcake scene.

Leyley was supposedly a problem child. She was neglected by her parents, disliked by her friends, and had nobody else but Andrew to rely on. She got nothing- absolutely nothing- from anyone else. And so, Andrew decided to celebrate her birthday, by buying her the cupcakes she wanted, by giving her what she lacked from others. By providing for her, and taking care of her. All he wanted was to make her happy, more than anything else. And, as Nina learned the hard way, at the expense of everyone else.

He doesn't lack empathy, per se. Andy just loves Leyley more than he loves anyone else by such a wide margin that his desire to provide for her overrides his fear of consequences… until those consequences threaten to separate the two of them.

That is a very Gender Roles thing to do. More on that later.

So. Ashley. Everyone's favorite disaster. Why does she treat Andrew the way she does? What does she provide for him? Well, isn't it obvious? She, too, wants to provide for him. Remember, she wanted the lemon cupcake because she thought it's what HE wanted. She also does most of the chores around the house. She prepares food, cleans the house, and does their laundry. She also provides for his non-sexual physical needs by offering him comfort whenever he needs it. It makes her feel useful. Wanted. Needed.

Ah, another very Gender Roles thing to do. See where I'm going with this?

The two neatly fit into a standard husband/wife relationship in a lot of ways. It's THE platonic ideal of such a relationship, actually! They make each other happy and provide WHAT THEY THINK the other really wants. It's really cute and perfect! As long as you ignore all the bad.

ignore all the bad …ignore all the bad… But we obviously shouldn't ignore all the bad. That would be ridiculous.

What I want to do is, instead, examine where the bad comes from, and why it's there. With the abuser/abused dynamic in mind, it's pretty easy to come to the conclusion that a mutual desire for control and power over the other is the sole determining factor. It's arguably the Central Theme of the game, and maybe a big part of what Nemlei is trying to convey. But, like, why should it end there? Why should that be where the analysis ends? There's a reason for everything.

They don't want to control each other for its own sake. They don't want to control each other solely to cover their own insecurities.

So why?

Ashley, first. She's obviously an insecure little monster, having never received the validation that she needs to really come into her own as a person. She keeps seeking it. Keeps trying to provide for Andrew. Keeps trying to make herself useful. Now, let's look at her calls towards Julia:

"DO YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME!? Just because you can fuck him and I can't?"

Ah, wait, hold on a minute.

"You think that's love?! Are you fucking delusional?? Cumdumpsters like you are just that."

Where does that wording come from?

"He will never love you. Not like he loves me. I am the only one. I am everything."

She doesn't need validation just for the sake of her insecurities. She needs it because she needs Andrew to be happy, and in her mind, she's the only one who can provide it. She knows him better than anyone else. She can see how happy she seems to make him, and that nobody else can do what she does. She knows, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that she makes Andrew more comfortable than anyone. She knows how important physical affection is to him. She can feel it. She doesn't lack empathy towards his plight or feelings; she has more of it than anyone, actually!

But Andrew, crucially, never seems to provide her any validation for this, even though she knows better. That's why she's so insecure.

"But wait," you might say, "didn't he, literally, fucking kill for her?"

Yes. But he always tries to place the blame on Ashley or use her as a scapegoat, when he was the one who pulled the trigger. He never accepts even the smallest amount of responsibility. And if a man can't even take responsibility for the violence he inflicts on others, what does that say about him? What does it say about how much he actually cares? oh. more gender roles. huh.

In Ashley's mind, that validation isn't validation because he didn't do it to prove he cared about her. He did it to shut her up. And… he never says anything to the contrary. He refuses to. All his validation is depressingly, overbearingly conditional.

His words always come with a caveat. They're always said in spite of something. They lack warmth. They lack kindness. They lack affection. She is never, ever given a key to lock the door to her insecurities…

…even though Andrew obviously has that key. He just refuses to give it to her.

But why?

Society! :D

There is something so fundamentally, obviously wrong with the way Andrew feels towards Ashley. She is a tar soul. A pariah. So horrid that her parents don't want her, so obviously bad that even demons don't want her. And yet Andrew, in spite of everything, still wants her. He wants to take care of her, when society tells him not to bother. He wants to protect her from other men, and even from herself. It manifests as jealousy because…

He, too, thinks the only one qualified to provide for Ashley is himself, because he was the only one who ever had. Violence comes so naturally to him that he takes it for granted. He kills for her, threatens to physically assault her when he thinks she's putting herself in danger.

It's so second nature to him that he thinks it should obviously be enough. But it isn't. His violence is so second nature as to be passive. It's non-committal. And what Ashley wants is committment.

But because of how society views Ashley, and how the world would view a romantic relationship between them, he can't truly commit to her. He can't give her the validation she really needs, because everything and everyone has told him that it's wrong. That she's wrong. And all his parents ever taught him is to be afraid of how others will react to that wrongness.

hey look, a man fearing the commitment a woman wants from him! more gender stereotypes!! I wonder what this game is trying to say!!!

Maybe I'm crazy or something. Maybe I'm just looking into it too deep. But I don't really care. I don't care if this is the intended reading, and neither should you. The fact of the matter is that most of the things that define them as toxic are not their fault. Most of the reasons they mistreat each other come from without, rather than within. The only reason they can't love each other is because the world tells them not to. Because it expects them to fill certain roles, to be certain people.

But Ashley can only ever be herself.

Maybe someone who's an actual expert on this subject matter could weigh in and give a true feminist reading. But me? I'm just here to point out patterns. I'm just here to point out facts. And one of those facts is that, to the world around her, Ashley did something wrong: She was born.

The Steam reviews of this game are fucking funny, but a lot of them say one thing that couldn't be further from the truth:

"I can fix her!"

No, you can't. She's only 'broken' in the context of her environment.

But in the words of another analyst:

It's madness to expect tar to behave like water.

So cut them some slack! They might finally succeed in a world that wanted nothing more than for them to fail. It's not our right to take that away from them.

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

a brief retrospective on Louis and Violet as love interests, Clementine's bisexuality, and the fandom's continued insistence on fighting over this

In December of 2019, I made a series of posts called "An Explanation of Why Louis and Violet are Both Excellent Love Interests" that explored my feelings on the topic after seeing a lot of fighting in the fandom over who's better; who is the "right" choice for Clementine?

The answer is simple: there isn't an objectively correct choice.

I compared Louis and Violet to the romantic options in other games, including Life is Strange, Persona 4, King's Quest 2015, and Catherine, as well as TWDG: A New Frontier. I wanted to show how much better TFS handled the romance versus those games, why we should be grateful for what we got since it could've been a lot worse, and how the fighting over who's "right" was a waste of time.

I suppose it's only fitting that I'd be driven to revisit this topic after seeing fans continue to argue amongst themselves over this years later in the trenches of a weakening fandom.

Just when I think I'm done writing pieces for TWDG, some random redditor writes an essay about how violentine only exists for "woke points" that grabs me by the throat and throws me down. Then another will insist that clouis is abusive since Louis voted against them in ep2 in their own essay and I'm dragged back here, kicking and screaming.

While I think my previous Excellent Love Interests posts about this are on the juvenile side, I do still agree with my main point: Louis and Violet are excellent characters who make for compelling love interests. The fact that we got them both, that we were given the choice, and that they're as well done as they are, is something I don't think we appreciate enough. Hell, I don't think we even appreciate that Clementine's a canonically bisexual protagonist as much as we should.

We're too busy trying to one up each other with, "Well, actually, clouis is superior because of this and this," and "no, you're wrong, violentine is actually better because of this and this," and sometimes a wild non-shipper will appear out of nowhere to slap down an, "actually, you both suck, singletine is better."

It's sad that this is what fandom inevitably defaults to, always. It stops being about the game we love, the thing that brought us here, and it becomes a pissing match.

Doesn't matter what fandom it is; we end up projecting too much of ourselves onto fictional characters, investing too much of our time into ship culture, hyper-fixating until it becomes part of us... and let's be real, sometimes it's in unhealthy ways.

So, when someone else attacks the things we're attached to, it becomes a personal attack... and when we feel threatened, we become defensive and retaliate... and sometimes, we take it too far and target others out of insecurity, to feel validated, even if it means going after someone who is just minding their own business.

Also, I think some people are just assholes who want to piss on everyone.

Because of this, I would like to discuss Louis and Violet as romanceable characters, why they're both important to TFS no matter who you choose, why Clementine being a bisexual protagonist matters, and the fandom's continued insistence on fighting over this.

For many personal reasons, I've always been trepid about being open with my sexuality as a bi woman. I've done a lot of reflection this year on why that is; internalized misogyny, the biphobia that lingers in the queer community, insecurities, regrets, how I tend to be harsher on female characters over male characters, why it took me so long to not feel afraid of engaging with queer media, admitting I was wrong about so many things I've said in the past, how it's all affected my writing, etc.

When TFS released and I made this blog, I had already accepted my bisexuality but was in no way public about it, not online or in my personal life. But playing the first two episode of TFS, being presented with both Louis and Violet as potential romantic partners struck something inside of me.

Yes, I picked Louis; we all know I'm a major clouis shipper at this point, and if you're new here, then now you know, too.

But it's the fact that Violet's also an option, that with just a few different button presses, Clementine could've fallen for her just as she did with Louis; that there's evidence in game that she shows interested in both of them no matter your choices; that no one in-game judges Clementine for who she chooses to be with... that meant something to me in a way that it hadn't before.

TFS wasn't the first game I played with a bi protagonist; in Excellent Love Interests, I compared Louis and Violet to Life is Strange's Chloe and Warren. I have a lot of mixed feelings about the first LiS game overall, but I've been quite open about my dislike of Chloe and indifference to Warren.

Chloe, to me, is everything I dislike in a love interest, predominately in wlw. 2023 was the year of "CJ dives into sapphic literature and it's a 50/50 chance of striking gold or gettin' hella eaten by disappointment, shaka brah." Meaning I've read a lot of wlw novels, and all the ones I hated featured a Chloe clone, sometimes done even worse.

And Warren? I'll be real honest with you- I couldn't even remember what his name was when I started writing this. I had to go back and check. That tells you what I think of him, no?

So, LiS didn't strike me the same way. Sure, I knew Max was a bi protagonist and that's great, but the choices weren't appealing to me. This was when I was a teenager still somewhat in denial of my sexuality, which most definitely contributed to me being uncomfortable when faced with a wlw relationship portrayed in-game, especially when I found myself wishing Kate was an option for Max... but y'know, "shhhhhhh if I don't acknowledge it, it doesn't exist."

When the first episode of TFS released, I was older, I was no longer in a not-so-great relationship, and had better accepted who I am. The first episode does a great job of introducing you to Louis and Violet, and giving you the opportunity to spend more time with the one you're interested in.

I actually really liked them both when ep1 dropped, but I've always had a preference for a character who is kind, deflects with humor, and tends to be picked on by the rest of the cast... so it was inevitable that I'd stick with Louis. Though I won't discredit Violet in ep1, or the rest of the game, just because I didn't choose her in the end.

That's one of the best things about Louis and Violet as options; they're opposites, yet alike in many ways. They have their appeals and charms. They're flawed. It never feels like a "love triangle" situation where they're fighting over Clementine. Louis and Violet are friends who have known each other from before the walkers came. It's refreshing to have two characters who are interested in the same person but don't go for each other's throats over it. When they do argue over her, it's more to do with AJ shooting Marlon and whether it's safe for the group to let them stay.

I can't fault anyone who struggled to pick between them. When someone talks about who they picked and why, it's all about the player's preferences.

It's your choice to make, and no matter what, you're not wrong for it.

This season concludes Clementine's story, regardless of what some comics will say. It's the last fight. It's her happy ending. She and AJ finally found a home, a family.

I've played these games since S1 came out in 2012, over ten years ago. Clementine holds a special place in my heart. Not only did this important character have a great final season [despite Telltale shutting down and TFS nearly being left incomplete, remember] but she's also revealed to be canonically bisexual.

They didn't release the whole season and then as an afterthought be like, "oh yeah btw she's bi, she has oneline of flirty dialogue with this character so see? we did good rep."

Yeah, I'm side eyeing you, ANF.

They didn't try to hide it. They presented it to the player unapologetically and made a conscious decision to exclude anything biphobic from other characters... which meant a lot to me.

Biphobia is real and it's not that I don't want it explored well in media, but there's something appealing and safe about a game with a bisexual main character who isn't questioned about it negatively; "You're bi? Doesn't that mean you cheat on all your partners?"

To give a compliment to Life is Strange: True Colors, I had a similar feeling in that game, too. Alex is openly bi, she can date either Steph or Ryan and no one questions the "legitimacy" of her bisexuality.

Because that's always a thing on top of everything else, y'know? "You're a bad bi unless you're with the 'gayer option.'" "Bisexuality isn't real, you're just confused." "I don't date girls who've been tainted by a man." "Oh, you're into girls? How about a threesome?"

Violet never turns her nose up at Clementine for admitting she had a crush on Gabe. Louis isn't ever gross about Clementine and Violet getting close. It speaks volumes for their characters and how accepting they, and everyone else at Ericson, are of Clementine no matter who she chooses, if anyone.

That acceptance, even if it's just in a game, means more than words can express to queer players who don't feel that acceptance in their daily lives.

Which means it hurts all the more when it comes to the fandom's own display of biphobia; "You're bi but ship clouis? Why ship something hetero when violentine is right there?" "Well, MY Clementine's straight because she picked Louis! Stop forcing the gay onto MY Clementine!"

Clementine's important to all of us. Why do you think so many people are pissed about the comics to the point of spewing disgusting bile toward Tillie Walden? I've said my piece on that plenty times before, so allow me to say it on this; the representation of bisexuality in Clementine is beautifully woven through TFS in ways that are subtle yet impactful, and I thank TFS for giving that to us.

One argument I've come across recently against Clementine's bisexuality, and violentine in general: "blegh they only included violentine/made Clem bi for lgbt points." y'know... as if that's a bad thing.

It bothers me because A. saying "I'm not homophobic *but*-" and then making a homophobic argument against violentine while insisting that Clementine's bisexuality came out of nowhere and was forced is icky, and B. I know I've said similar things about violentine in the past. I know I used to argue that violentine's underdeveloped, yet the devs pushed it to the forefront over clouis to pat themselves on the back for doing representation, etc.

I don't believe that anymore; remember when I brought up people making arguments out of insecurity? Yeah, that and being lowkey bitter that violentine got more dev attention than clouis sometimes even though like... that doesn't matter? It literally doesn't matter. That's what I meant when I said you get so invested that certain things feel like a personal attack when they're not.

Some of the developers of TFS are queer people. They probably wanted a bi protagonist with a wlw option because that representation is important to them and they had the opportunity to express it, not because they were trying to get "points" with anyone. Go listen to the commentaries for TFS; they talk about violentine with nothing but positivity, and they didn't do that to shade Louis or clouis shippers. And if you do think they did it shade fans, then maybe stop and consider why; do you actually believe that or are you annoyed that your fave wasn't the center of attention?

On the flip side, I also want to say that gloating and insisting that violentine is the better/right choice because of these things is also unpleasant and untrue. It sucks when it feels like things are biased against you and it sucks even more when that bias is weaponized by other fans to beat you down.

But honestly? If you need this much validation on your opinions about fictional characters, maybe you should stop to think about why that is and what it says about you, yeah?

Truly, this whole clouis versus violentine thing is irritating at best, vile at worse. Thankfully it doesn't happen as much on tumblr given the state of the fandom, and everyone's at least agreed that no matter their feelings toward each other, clemricca is worse. So, that's something, I guess.

I think the best way I can put this is you don't get to dictate what other people think and feel. Being passionate is great until it becomes an excuse to be an asshole. Not everyone is going to agree with you and you need to put your big kid pants on and accept that.

I'm under no impression that the fighting will ever stop, even when this fandom is dried up with only bones and memories haunting its desert... but at the very least, I can point some of it out and ask that we do better than this.

The focus gets lost in the fighting, and that focus is Louis and Violet themselves. Y'know, the two this retrospective's about.

Remember when I talked about Persona 4 in Excellent Love Interests and how much it sucks when the person you want to romance isn't actually an option--?

Hmm? What's that? Ah, yes, right- @pi-creates insists I add that TFS and Persona 4 actually are the same because Aasim wasn't an option and they're still bitter about that... but this isn't about Aasim, that's a topic for another day. Sorry Pi, but thanks for the screenshots used in this retrospective👍

Anyway, TFS gave us two excellent choices, and it would've been worse off had it only given us one of them, or none at all.

Louis wears charisma as a mask and uses humor as a shield to deflect. Violet, for as quiet and standoffish as she first appears, has a heart she's both eager and reluctant to share.

Louis is warm curtains of sunlight seeping through the murmuring woods of green leaves and little song birds. A heart carved into the rustic wood of an out-of-tune piano. Music echoing in the early morning hallways.

Violet is the glow of a full moon that illuminates still waters so the stars can dance in its reflection. Paint smeared over finger tips to offer a piece of herself meant to be worn. Constellations of stars named in secret.

They're both lonely people, often misunderstood by the others at Ericson, and sometimes by each other. They want to be known. They want to be seen.

But fear is a powerful wall to overcome.

And that's the beauty of choice. You get the impression of knowing them in the beginning, but it rarely breaks surface tension; Louis is nice and funny but undependable, Violet's rude and reserved and a little awkward. Neither are outspoken about any issues around Ericson, content to keep their heads down.

Clementine has to make the effort to know them, and the game establishes this by asking you an unassuming question: do you want to go hunting with Louis or fishing with Violet?

Clementine either makes an effort to understand Violet's feelings toward Brody and why she's so mean to her, and try to help her through it... or she doesn't listen to what Violet's saying, is dismissive, and ends up making things worse.

When Clementine goes hunting with Louis, she has to make the decision to spend time with him or ignore him in favor of hunting, and should she choose him, he opens up to her just a bit.

Then comes the confrontation with Marlon at the end of the episode where Clementine has to make the choice of who to appeal to. The gravity of this choice is often glossed over, I think.

Marlon has a gun pointed at her head, and she pleas for Louis or Violet to step in and save her. Both are hesitant because of course they are! They've known Marlon longer, he has a gun, and he's using manipulation to scare them into submission; he uses his friendship against Louis, and Minerva against Violet.

But when Clementine gets through to them? They stand between her and Marlon in rather in-character ways; Louis eases in with his hands up, attempting to deescalate the situation while Violet pulls out a weapon and demands he back off.

They risked getting shot. They risked death. They knew what was happening was wrong. They didn't want Clementine to die, they didn't fully believe Marlon's bullshit but were too scared to step forward until Clementine asked them, too. In that moment she basically told them, "I trust you. Instinct tells me you are the one who can stop this. My life is in your hands."

This choice changes them, and this moment ripples through the rest of the season. It makes perfect sense that Louis would be upset over Marlon's death and feel unsafe with Clementine and AJ there whereas Violet sees the death as justified and Clementine and AJ shouldn't be kicked out over it. It's an overwhelming situation for everyone.

I've talked about ep2 and the vote until my lungs nearly collapsed and I saw the gates of Hell over the horizon... but that's fine, I can talk a little more about it and maybe this time the flames with cleanse me of my sins or something.

This is where the fighting really began, and I shouldn't have to say it again, but I will anyway: There isn't an objectively correct answer here, there's only personal preference.

Louis and Violet take very clear, opposite stances on this situation. I think they're both a little wrong and a little right; they shouldn't ignore that AJ killed Marlon, but kicking them out isn't the best solution either.

As a clouis shipper, I happen to like the way these events play out with Louis' vote. But not everyone feels that way. For some, Louis' vote is a deal breaker, making Violet the more appealing option given she voted for Clementine and AJ to stay.

Do you want a girl that's been by Clementine's side from the beginning and was vocal about keeping her and AJ here?

Great, Violet's the choice for you. Enjoy the lovely moonlight and constellation mini-game.

Do you want the extra angst of a boy who made a vote he comes to regret and then does everything he can to apologize and make it up to Clementine?

Wonderful, here's Louis. He'll play you a song he wrote and then name it after Clementine, it's very cute.

While on the topic of ep2, I also want to discuss the episode's final choice of saving either Louis or Violet and the consequences.

You know how in other games, say like massive RPG's with "good" and "evil" choices you can make that end up defining your character? You know how sometimes people question why developers even bothered putting those evil routes in since a majority of people will choose to be good? This isn't a new topic of discussion, but it's relevant to my point- they do it because the option to be evil makes the choice to be good more impactful. If you do choose to be evil, you did it knowing you could've been good and yet you decided chaos was the way to go, and now everyone and everything around your character suffers.

I don't think it only applies to binary "good" versus "evil" choices, either.

TWDG is great with its "You can only save one of them" choices, even if they usually fumble with the consequences in later episodes.

When I'm faced with this choice to save either Louis or Violet, I don't save Louis just because I like him more. Sure, initially that's why I saved him on my first run... but then the rest of the season came out and I learned the consequences of the choices I did and didn't make.

Knowing that he'll get his tongue cut out if I don't save him makes me all the more anxious to choose him. And I know violentine shippers are gutted knowing that if they don't save her, she'll feel so betrayed that she turns on Clementine and in the end is blinded in the boat explosion, so they're just as eager to save her.

But all of us have to live with the consequences of what happens to the one we didn't save, too. We made the decision to save the one we love at the cost of hurting the other we didn't love enough. You can't save them both. You're forced to hurt one of them in order to protect the other.

And it doesn't even stop there. TFS isn't done twisting the knife.

Mere moments before you have to make the choice to save one of them, Lilly's standing over Clementine with her finger on the trigger... only to then be tackled by the person you didn't choose to spend time with.

They just saved Clementine's life only to be dragged away by their neck, and the game asks you what that's worth: They got captured saving you, so do you save them in return or do you remain loyal to the one you chose before?

And when you know the consequences of both routes, when you know Louis will have his tongue cut out and Violet will have her eyes burned?

Louis and Violet are good people at their cores who only wanted to be understood and loved, and no matter what, you have to abandon one of them for the other... and they are left physically and mentally traumatized because of it.

But wait, there's more. The one you didn't save will always survive to the end and act as a constant reminder of what you chose... but the one you saved? If you don't trust AJ, then you'll be forced to watch them get torn apart and eaten alive by a herd of walkers. The only way to save them is to trust AJ so that he shoots Tenn.

A child has to die in order for you to save the one you love again, a choice you indirectly made.

The ending shows you the one you didn't save, and it shows you Tenn's grave... and it presents a quiet question: was it worth it?

Would you make those choices again?

That's the power Louis and Violet bring to TFS.

That's why the choice matters.

We justify trusting AJ because we'd rather see Louis and Violet live over Tenn, knowing we're taking away the best friend AJ's ever had and allowing Minerva to get her way. We save Louis knowing that it breaks something inside of Violet and results in her permanently losing most of her eyesight. We save Violet knowing that we'll find Louis bloody and sobbing in the cell after having his tongue cut out of his mouth.

And we argue about it amongst ourselves even though it's all fucked. There isn't a true happy ending here, not for everyone.

Louis and Violet stand on their own as great characters, but you only get the true depth depending on how you play. They're excellent love interests because they care for Clementine. Through their relationship with her, they grow as people and find the acceptance and love they're starved for.

It's not perfect, but it honestly doesn't need to be. There was care woven into these characters. Both routes have a wide appeal. That means something to so many people.

I know we as fans often will say we wanted more, we wanted this and that, we wish this was different. It's not a dating sim where the main objective is to woo them. It's not a massive RPG with hundreds of hours to explore every nook and cranny of their characters. This is a Telltale game. It's a narrative with Clementine and AJ at the forefront, and it's up to you whether you want Louis or Violet to share that spotlight.

It's a story about Clementine finding a home, about molding what kind of survivor AJ comes. It's about Clementine meeting two broken people with glass shards at their feet, about her glass mixing with theirs. It's a game about choice; which glass pieces do you pick up, and which do you step on?

We should take more time to appreciate Louis and Violet. We should share our appreciation for the development team for giving us a bisexual lead with two great love interests, especially since we almost didn't get TFS in its entirety; we can hate Skybound as much as we want for the Clementine comics, but without them, this team wouldn't have been able to finish the game they were clearly passionate about.

We should have more self-awareness and try to understand why we like and dislike things without targeting others.

In conclusion?

I think they're both neat 👍

[gauloiseblue]

OMG

HOLY SHIT

First of all, reincarnation stories are so *mwuah*

Second, I love the interactive/visual novel/otome game style.

The Endings are so delicious and just makes me want to bite and eat it 😏😏😏.

I love the fact that in true otome game/VN style, the endings all give us little bits and pieces of stuff that fit with each other giving us a nice picture that is still kind of incomplete.

Ending 1 is the meet cute with our hubby (who is definitely not going to kidnap us at the slightest inconvenience like how Megumi summons Mahoraga).

Ending 2 is the one where we get stuff about our childhood and how there's this thing that yadda yadda yadda... we had a friend... NINA, MY BABY IS ALIVE!!! Our former childhood friend wants to marry us awwwww... Someone held us hostage while biting us... Awww... What a nice conversation with one of the women who took care of us Oh look some guy in the shadows (I'm sure that's nothing). This one is actually the first I got.

Ending 3, the “Horror/Bad” Ending, is actually not that bad because technically, all endings are bad because he will always find us. We just get a big question called “What the fuck is going on?”. It's just bad/horror because we're scared :( Also biting kink~

Ending 4 is where we find a super sweet note about love and perseverance. This couple is so sweet and romantic. The woman knows that they haven't been together for so long but she already knows that she's going to be with this guy for the rest of her life aww so sweet. She also talks about how love should be built on patience and to never rush it. She also talks about how this will be her last secret awwwww... Super sweet with no horrifying implications whatsoever.

These endings work well on their own but as you read the other endings you get the answers for the questions you have from the other endings but also questions that not even reading all the endings can answer.

Does that man there's a Golden/True Ending or A Bonus Scene?

Also

NINAAAAAAAAA!!!

MY BABY

YOU MAY HAVE EXISTED FOR A BRIEF IN IOFAB BUT EEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Also this fic reminds of one of your art that has König buying reader. Biting kink, my beloved. Something something he would sooner mangle your flesh before letting you go...

[Major spoilers under the cut]

I actually almost made that fic into a game, but I realized it's not worth the effort so I didn't make it XD

Actually, this is how I think of the endings;

Ending 1: Good Ending with a question mark

Ending 2: Bad Ending

Ending 3: Cautionary Ending

Ending 4: Secret Ending

I feel like if you get the first ending, there's a chance you'll live happily ever after with him, especially when you really love him and accept him as he is.

As for the second one, congrats on getting it for the first time XD This is actually my favorite ending, bc it can lead to a continuation.

For the 3rd ending, it's just an attempt to write horror. I always want to bring horror elements to König's fics, because his character does have that potential. Also, it's just an excuse for me to write about my kink so—

I feel like I had to talk about the 4th ending, because it lacks some basic explanations. We all can pretty much guess who's the husband, so I'll skip that part. She and König weren't always this miserable, and the letter was the evidence that they once were a happy couple. But somewhere along the line (the reincarnation), she strayed away from him, for whatever reason. Just as he disagreed with her, he did the opposite of what she'd do if he loved her less than a lover; forcing her to be one.

It's actually a story about irony, because the only way to bind your lover with you is to make them hate you. The reincarnated reader hated to be bitten, so he marked her with his teeth. She didn't like when he's impatient, so he took it to the extreme. But all his actions were rooted from love. He did it because he loved her, he did it because he wanted to be her—in this life or the next. Like, you can find so many ironies in the letters. But I won't point them out bc it's more fun to discover them yourself 😌

Fun fact, the thing about her last secret or whatever implies that König shamelessly read her diaries XD She couldn't keep her secret because he'd just find it and read it. It's also ironic that he always found her secrets—even in the most difficult places—but couldn't find her last secret, which is the letter. That's why the papers were hidden for years inside the music box, until the reincarnated reader discovered it again. Makes you wonder what could've happened if he read the letter. Maybe all these tragedies wouldn't happen.

I'll be honest, I like Nina a lot too. In my head she ran away with the reader in IOFAB, and they lived happily ever after. Like, she deserves so much happiness 😭

Oh, that artwork. Haha… it's just a study on anatomy I swear 💀

[stylessatellite]

Style’s Stylist

a stylist!y/n blurb

Warnings: fem reader, implied harry x reader (mentions it like twice)

Face claim: Jihoon Kim

A/N: k, so I lied and I’m posting my stylist!y/n blurb early. I got bored with dealing with my extended family so I finished up the piece instead. also for the authors name, I used a name generator, so if it’s your name i’m sorry.

- Feel free to like and reblog <3 | masterlist

Liked by river_johnson and 70,424 others

harryflorals: FIRST LOOK AT HARRY FOR COVENTRY NIGHT 2! via: user 1

view all 423 comments

user2: omg, praying he unzips the jacket

↳ tpwksunflower: me to 🕯️

Liked by river_johnson and 98,765 others

voguemagazine: @/river_johnson sat down with @/yourusername to discuss styling for @/harrystyles for his final leg of Love On Tour. Check it out with the link in our bio. 

view all 1,247 comments

ynfan1: so glad to know it technically wasn’t y/n responsible for some of the horrendous looks lately

Liked by river_johnson, harrystyles and 798,764 others

yourusername: sat down with @/river_johnson from @/voguemagazine to talk about styling our fav @/harrystyles. check it out here.

view all 638 comments

harry_lambert: lovely dear ❤️ see you soon

maneskinoffical: that’s our stylist! ti vogliamo bene 🩷

↳ conangray: you mean our stylist?

↳ harry&ynfan: not maneskin and conan arguing abt y/n and harry’s here enjoying his trophy boyfriend status.

harrystyles: love being each others muses ❤️❤️

article below | word count: about 1k

Styles’s Stylist

River Johnson | VOGUE

Many of you know the singer/songwriter Harry Styles. Whether it be his music, looks or daring fashion sense. Not many know the person who makes him look that good. With the last leg of Love On Tour having kicked off a couple days ago, I sat down with Y/N L/N to discuss styling for the past couple years. As one of Style’s stylists, L/N shares this position with Harry Lambert. Her other clients include Conan Gray and Måneskin.

L/N herself is dressed in custom Bode with a mint plaid set with a pair of baby pink converse to match. It’s clear that she’s planning on looking up to par with the hoards of fans outside of the stadium waiting to be let in for the second show in Coventry. She’s making me feel underdressed in my beat up air forces and dungarees. She assures me that a boa and a matching cowboy hat would have me fitting right in.

“So how has styling him been different post COVID? Have any of your creative processes changed?”

“It hasn’t been all too different from before I suppose. His looks have definitely changed, but a part of that just came with the album. Really the only difference is there’s less interviewing looks to put together because it’s only waist up now. I just have to make sure his shirt doesn't have wrinkles or a stain on it. Which is pretty easy considering we share the same wardrobe.”

“How do you come up with the different looks for each album and show? And does this differ from awards or appearances? Are there different processes? Acceptable designs?”

“I mean the process definitely depends on the event. His looks for the album are based on what he feels the mood of the album is and wardrobe is based on that. For the album he said he wanted to be more colorful and fun, so that's how we got the varying patterns. So don’t blame us for the mis matching looks, blame him (Harry).

“So I'm assuming his tour outfits are the same?”

“Yes. At the start of each leg, we’ll go through possible designs and what we feel will work best from both our (stylist & artist) sides and his opinions. Gucci and I will sketch some ideas and it’ll get sent to the group chats on which pieces we like, then we'll play mix and match and the night of the show it’s pretty much chosen by the band and him.”

“Elaborate on the band. Because I've noticed that they always seem to coordinate.”

“Yes, certain looks from the band go with certain outfits of his or at his request. If he’s wearing all black then he likes the band to wear pink for some reason. Or if some of the band's looks aren’t ready, then we’ll move that look to a different day and pull a different one.”

“Speaking of different days. I imagine it was quite the switch between show looks and award looks.”

“Oh, it actually wasn’t too bad, it was more of the execution. We had had the outfits planned for months, it was just a matter of making sure the tassels didn't tangle and the (red) carpet look came in on time. Show looks require less coordination because normally it’s just the people here”

“He also had a few outfit changes between the two events, he had what six outfits? What was that like?”

“Yeah no, he had six official outfits plus if he chose to change for an after party, which is all on him to decide, and I don't remember if he did.”

“Do you have a favorite look of his?”

“Are we talking shows? Or award wise.”

“Either”

“I mean any of the ones with the decals. It was really fun coming up with all of the different designs. Tonight’s also might win for this leg so far.”

I then proceeded to ask for a sneak peak but she just laughed me off saying how it’ll ruin one of the best parts of the show, the reveal. Upon more pestering, she revealed that color wise they were matching, which if you follow L/N tour looks, you already know. “Back to the decals. You came up with these designs? I thought you were taking a break from that?”

“I was meant to but then the idea was brought up from all of my doodles during the meetings. Plus I was working on Conan’s and the band’s (Måneskin) looks for their tours, so I was ‘cutting back’ on some work.”

Just then the fans started getting let in and I noticed just how seriously some fans took their outfits with a perfect recreation of a previous outfit or on the other side of the spectrum, various fruits. “How do you feel about the fans' outfits?”

“Oh my gosh. We all love them. They make the whole thing better and sometimes we steal inspiration from them. I swear some of the fans could steal my job and I’d be happy to let them.” She then proceeds to show me the album that she has of the fans outfits ranging from recreations of the Coachella outfits or the custom shirts with funny pictures of the band on it.

Upon wrapping up, she asks if I’m doing anything between now and the show starting. I wasn't, so she took me backstage to get a sneak peak at some upcoming outfits and let me tell you something, L/N really went all out for this last leg. The sequins, tassels everything.

Upon seeing tonight's show, I definitely agree with L/N on tonight's look being a favourite and the decal on the back making the outfit. I can definitely say that his outfits make him shine brighter and you should go see if you can snag a ticket to one of his shows to just watch how L/N’s designs enhance his performance at the very least.

A/N: lemme know if you wish to be added to my tag list

[beloved-child-of-the-house]

i stand with you in the face of a defensive misunderstanding of what critique is.

i think understanding what a critique actually is is a skill that increasingly is not taught. i remember going through freshman art courses feeling the frustration that all negative, nasty, unhelpful, and missed-the-point-entirely feedback is so commonly conflated with critique, and then critique gets a bad name because everyone remembers the time someone said their painting looked like an asshole (true story, altho now i think i would take it as a compliment) instead of the time a teacher or friend or classmate helped them uncover a hurtful bias or think of new ways to explore the same idea or how to connect it to related ideas or how to look up and understand other people's ideas on the same topic.

anyway i think you're great.

ahhh you're so kind to me!! i appreciate your support, and i think you are great also.

i have experience with giving and receiving critique as a student myself, and i think it was the best part of my degree! i majored in creative writing in college, and critique was just a generally accepted part of learning to become a writer. i don't even remember people being especially worried about receiving critique on their work. we had guidance on what kind of feedback was useful, but we were still at liberty to give it as we saw fit as like messy 19 year olds. the standard was that we gave it both written on printed copies of the work AND aloud in front of the whole class, and the writer receiving it was not permitted to speak during the critique. understanding how people are perceiving your work is important!

i don't have any particularly negative recollections of the critique process, although once in a high school writing class, the boys in the class told me that my male characters touched each other too gently and real boys are more rough with each other. in particular, they took issue with me writing that one boy nudged another. nudging is too soft. nudging is for girls. that was more than 20 years ago, and i still think about it sometimes because it was such an interesting perspective! i did not take their advice, though.

i should dig up that piece and see if it reads queer in any other ways. i think that's what they were getting at. (actually i once had a non-fiction class tell me i was in love with my roommate after reading an essay i wrote about her)(i did not listen to that advice either, but having 12 acquaintances tell you that you're gay in 2006 before you realize it yourself is Truly Something!)

i think people have conflated criticism and critique and think that being more openly analytical is the same thing as being negative. but analysis is so fun to me! analysis is why i joined fandom in the first place, and it's why i write fic! can we trust each other to be respectful and to speak in good faith even when we're not singing each other's praises? for me fandom would be better if we could.

oh i also want to clarify that i don't think it's impossible to demonstrate that you've thought deeply about a piece of fanwork while remaining completely positive. people do it all the time and do it very well!

i know i sometimes have tunnel vision wrt my own perspective. in a lot of situations, i wish it were more acceptable to be more direct, and i know people sometimes find the way i express myself to be kind of shocking. i know a lot of people like to be spoken to more indirectly than comes natural to me, and i don't mean to imply that my perspective is the only correct one or that there's no good reason to err on the side of gentleness/politeness in our responses to amateur art and writing. i just think that at a certain level of circumspection, it feels like we're all holding each other at arm's length.

i think for people who can't bear to feel exposed, making and sharing art is always going to be painful and difficult, and maybe too painful and difficult to enjoy the process unless they're sure of a soft landing. but like. the rewards of being loved only come after the mortifying ordeal of being known, right?

[mashficolympics]

Introducing the M*A*S*H Fic Olympics!

ATTENTION ALL PERSONNEL!

Hello everyone, and welcome to the M*A*S*H Fic Olympics, a week-long fandom-wide writing festival that aims to highlight and appreciate the amazing work of writers involved in the M*A*S*H fandom!

This festival is open to all ships (and gen work, of course), and will run Monday, July 3, through Sunday, July 9.

Your organizers are Jay (Jaybirbb on AO3 and @faggothawkeyepierce on Tumblr) and Parker (AMRV_5 on AO3 and @amrv-5 on Tumblr). Feel free to contact mash.fic.olympics@gmail.com with questions!

request list || prompt list

HOW IT WORKS:

Each day of the week-long festival will have a specific theme. Authors will have from now until the night before each theme to craft a fic to fit and post it to the AO3 collection M*A*S*H Fic Olympics (find it here!).

All of the posted works for a given day will fall under its theme. The fics can be submitted publicly or anonymously, and as individual works or chapters of a single piece. 

Works submitted to the M*A*S*H Fic Olympics collection on Archive of Our Own will be posted across seven days (the moderators will approve each fic on its theme day!). The links to the AO3 works will then be posted to this blog, moderated by yours truly.

Each day’s theme will be provided at the bottom of this post. A list of prompts for potential inspiration will also be provided.

As another fun way to engage with the M*A*S*H writing community, we will also be accepting fic requests to be filled out during the event! Find out more here!

We encourage readers to review and share the works once they’re posted so they can be experienced by as many people as possible! 

The event will begin on Monday, July 3rd and end on Sunday, July 9th. Participants should submit their fics by 5 p.m. CDT (10 p.m. GMT) the night before each relevant theme (meaning first submissions are due July 2nd, and last ones July 8th!). That said, we’ll also accept late submissions—the more fic, the better!

FAQ:

"Do I have to follow the theme?"

-Yes! This will make it a lot easier for us to organize on which day we’ll post the fics. Plus, it’s the point of the fic olympics!

"Do I have to follow a prompt?"

-No! The prompts are there for you to use as inspiration, but you can change them up or totally ignore them. As long as you follow the theme, everything’s good!

"Can I submit more than one fic?"

-Absolutely! Write and submit as many works as you want.

"How should I format my fics?"

-You can post the daily fills as chapters in a single work, or as individual works; it’s up to you! 

"How do I submit to a collection?"

-When you create a new work, you’ll find a menu in the “Associations” box that allows you to post your fic to a collection. Enter “M*A*S*H Fic Olympics” in the entry box, and it should allow you to select the collection and post to it! 

"How do I request a fic? How do I fill a request?"

-Everything you need to know should be in this post!

"I have more questions! Help!!"

-Do not hesitate to contact us at mash.fic.olympics@gmail.com if you have any other questions.

RULES:

-This challenge is open to all ships, as well as gen work.

-Canon-compliant, post-canon, pre-canon and AU are all fair game! 

-Each day of the week-long challenge has an associated theme. To participate, write something incorporating that theme and post it to the M*A*S*H Fic Olympics collection on AO3. 

-No maximum or minimum word count. 

-Please tag your work properly, so everyone’s experience can be safe and enjoyable! The moderators may ask you to add a tag to your work after you submit it. We also reserve the right to refuse fics until they are properly tagged.

-Remember to be kind! Any participants who engage in hostile behavior to other participants may be removed from participation. We’re all friends here :)

-Have fun and be yourself <3

THEMES AND SCHEDULE: 

Monday, July 3 (Due July 2): Letters

Tuesday, July 4 (Due July 3): Weather

Wednesday, July 5 (Due July 4): Horror

Thursday, July 6 (Due July 5): Orange

Friday, July 7 (Due July 6): Injury

Saturday, July 8 (Due July 7): Alternate Universe

Sunday, July 9 (Due July 8): Secrets

PROMPT LIST:

If you find yourself struggling for ideas, we have a prompt list available here!

Thanks to everyone who submitted prompts! These are totally optional, and only intended to help provide some inspiration if desired!

Have fun, and happy writing!

[luverofralts]

Arkhelios Adventures

When Maura opened her eyes, she didn't recognize the room she was standing in. It wasn't in the cottage or the palace. She was somewhere completely unknown to her. Where had she just been? Her brain scrambled, trying to piece together the last thing she remembered. She had been at the cottage, wasn't she? She had been talking to Adrian about parenting his strange little girl and laughing at how frustrated he felt. If one of her children could predict the future, Maura would be ecstatic instead of worried. Still, Rien was an unsettling child, even Maura could admit it. Honestly, she blamed that on Roman being her father. The poor girl was a Bellamy and even the Siew family genetics couldn't change that. There were Siews whose behaviour belonged in a horror movie, but they were never the haunted little girl that Adrianne appeared to be.

Speaking of horror movies, the decor of wherever Maura was seemed to fit right in a creepy movie. Skeletal figures and cloaked, robed beings were scattered across the room, making Maura feel like she was in some kind of evil cult building. Strangetown's coven had once worshiped and attempted to murder Death. Was this their second try? Had Edana lost her mind and followed her brother's path or was this the work of someone new? Why would Strangetown even care about the queen of Twikkii Island? This had better not be Claudia's idea of a joke. It would be just like Claudia to try to teach her cousin some misguided lesson about security or covens or whatever else Claudia had on her mind.

"Claudia? This isn't funny. You're not going to creep me out with some Gothic Halloween decorations. How did you even get me here? We promised to never use our security teams against each other, remember? Come on."

"I'm glad to hear that you and your cousin are still close. Our lives are lonely, and we need to keep our family near."

Maura spun around to face the voice coming from the next room. It was impossible. It couldn't be. It would have to be either a miracle or a tragedy for the owner of that voice to be standing behind her.

"M-Mom? Is that you?"

Impossibly, Cherry Siew, former queen of Twikkii Island, was standing in the same room as Maura for the first time in years. This wouldn't ordinarily be impossible, except for the fact that Cherry had died, leaving the throne to her daughter.

"Maura, I'm so sorry to see you here," the dead queen began. "It's so good to see you, though. I've missed you."

"Mom?"

Maura launched herself at her mother, wrapping her arms around the woman she missed every single day. She hadn't realized how much her mother had meant to her until she had been taken from her.

"You look so grown up and mature," Cherry said, holding her daughter just as tightly. "The crown hasn't crushed your spirit as I feared it might. You are carrying our family legacy well and making us all so happy."

Maura froze at these words, once again concerned about her location.

"Is this a dream? It has to be. I'm dreaming. You can't say things like this outside of dreams, you're gone. This is just me trying to rationalize the stress I've been under and fantasizing about parental acceptance. This is a weird dream though. I don't think I've ever dreamt of this place before."

"Honey, you're not dreaming. I know you're stubborn and strong-willed, but you need to accept this. You're not dreaming. You're between realms. You're dying."

Maura pulled away from her mother in an instant, suddenly taking notice of her surroundings and trying to guess where she was really being held.

"This is a trick! Who put you up to this? How did you find someone who looks so much like my mom? Tell me where I am!"

"Honey, you need to calm down. This is real and you need to listen to me. I'm here on behalf of our family. When someone dies, their soul is brought here to the office of the Grim Reaper, where they are greeted by their loved ones and introduced to eternity. Your grandmother wanted to come as well, but I overruled her. I know how you two always struggled to get along, and perhaps selfishly, I wanted you all to myself. I wanted to see the woman you've become in my absence."

All of the well reasoned arguments Maura tried to raise died under the withering glare of her mother. There was no denying that this was the same woman who could silence Maura’s childish antics while fidgeting during a royal speech with a single look. Too much evidence was piling up and it all appeared to be confirming Maura’s worst fears. If this wasn't a dream, Maura should still have a baby bump. She should be at the cottage. She wouldn't be seeing the very real ghost of her mother.

"I-I don't want to be dead," Maura whimpered. "I have so much to do still. I have a family. This has to be a mistake."

"None of that matters when it's your time," Cherry said softly. "We all had plans for how our lives would be, and being queen doesn't mean much against eternity. But honey, your life is still being written. You're dying, yes, but there is hope. You're not bound to this place yet. I'm speaking with you as a courtesy of the Grim Reaper."

"I...I'm not dead?"

Cherry shook her head. Maura had always struggled to pay attention growing up; it seemed like it was something she still struggled with.

"No, not yet at least. Your name hasn't been written in the lists of the Grim Reaper, but your body is damaged enough for your spirit to drift here. I was asked to greet you because your spirit wasn't the only one to travel here. Maura, I know this will come as an unwelcome shock, but there were casualties at the event where you were attacked. Alysiara and Spencer came to me earlier. Unlike you, their names are on the list of the lost. They wanted to say their goodbyes before joining our family in eternity."

"What? No. No, that's impossible. Those are my children. Children aren't supposed to die! Tell the Grim Reaper to fix it!"

"Mommy!"

Two familiar voices rang through the hall, breaking Maura’s heart. Those were undeniably her children, here in the realm of the dead. Her children were dead. How was she supposed to process this? How were her other children? Was Ulyssa safe? Were they at war in the living realm? She had to get back there and save her people, but she couldn't leave her children here.

"Spencer! You look so big! I love you so much." Maura wrapped her arms around her son, hugging him tightly. Behind him, Alysiara waited to do the same.

"You can look however you want here!" Spencer exclaimed. "I can look like a grown-up, but Grandma said it might be too much for you to see right now. Grandma's really nice."

"I know," Maura said numbly. "She's my mommy. She took great care of me, just like I'm sure she'll do for you."

It was all too surreal to process. Her mother, standing in front of her and two of her children, waiting to return to Cherry's side in what was apparently the world between life and death. She still half believed that this was all some kind of nightmare.

"Alysiara!" Maura hugged her oldest daughter fiercely. Alysiara remained the same as Maura remembered, with no sudden growth spouts like her brother. "Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. I couldn't protect you and-and that's the very first thing I promised to do as soon as I held both of you for the first time. This can't be happening! I...I just can't."

"We'll be okay," Alysiara promised her distraught mother. "Grandma has a lot of things to show us while we wait for you and Mommy to join us. I have a million people to meet, and they do parties here too. I can have a ball every day if I want and I don't even have to make a dress for it. You just think about what you want really hard, and it shows up. Spencer’s eaten a tub of ice cream already because he could. I'm going to ride a horse when you leave. No, actually, I think I'll ride a unicorn. I'm going to have my own castle now, filled with anything I want. You and Mommy can visit when you join us."

Cherry looked apologetically at her daughter.

"When children die, they assume an ageless consciousness, just like the rest of us," she explained, wrapping an arm around her grandson to keep him from running off. "It doesn't always kick in automatically. They'll be more mature once they get settled, but until then, there's no harm in unicorn racing. I promise that I'll take good care of them for you. I'll make sure that they're happy."

Maura wept for what felt like an eternity. She couldn't leave her children or accept their deaths. She also couldn't leave her living children and Ulyssa. She was torn between two realms, even if she knew where she truly belonged. She needed to guide her nation, at least until Adrion was able to succeed her, and she couldn't face a life without her remaining family that needed her in the living world. From the sound of it, the Grim Reaper didn't seem to expect her to die any time soon, so Maura prepared herself to leave her two children and her mother behind. She didn't want to, but it didn't seem like she was being given many options.

Maura thought of all the good times that she had shared with her mother and how often she longed to just sit down and chat with her about all the difficult things about being a queen and a mother. She hadn't realized how much she'd missed having her mother to bounce ideas off of until it was too late.

But wait. While Maura thought about losing her mother, she couldn't help but remember the difficulty of losing another parent.

"Where's Dad?" Maura blurted out. "I mean, if you're here and Grandma's here, then Dad has to be here too. Why didn't you invite him here? I want to see him too, even if it's only for a minute."

Cherry's posture immediately changed at the mention of her husband. She went from apologetic and soft to closed off.

"Your father's not here, Maura," Cherry said coldly.

"What? Where is he then? Is there anywhere else he could be? Could he be the in Void like Adrian was?"

"I don't know, and every reaper I've asked has refused to tell me. Dead people they can track, but living people? That's not their jurisdiction."

"Living people?" Maura repeated, horrified. "No, Grandma killed him. She didn't think he was right for a consort."

"My mother didn't kill my husband!" Cherry snapped. Her raised voice caused her grandchildren to flinch. "Your father was presumed dead and then declared dead so that I could remarry."

"Yeah, 'declared' dead so that you could find a new husband that Grandma approved of," Maura scoffed. "Convenient."

A darkness passed over Cherry's face that Maura had only seen when she was about to be grounded for a month as a child.

"Maura, I will not get into this while your children are here and still getting settled in. I have always told you the truth, whether you choose to believe it or not. Your father was declared dead after he left for a conference in Pleasantview and never arrived. We searched for months with the joined forces of Pleasantview and Twikkii Island. You were too young to remember that, but you can check the records yourself. My mother declared him dead after a year of searching to smooth things over with Pleasantview, seeing as he was en route there when he disappeared and some people were becoming suspicious. The Red Queen was also psychotic, Maura. We would have done anything to avoid a war with her, and you would have done the same. And yes, I wanted it to be over after months of searching. I wanted to marry the love of my life, and that wasn't your father. Iris and I were in love, and your father and I were planning to divorce. I'm sorry that I never told you that, Maura, but it's true. I never wanted to hurt you because you always spoke of your father like he was your hero and was special to you. You deserved closure and not the unhealable open wound of having a father who was missing. I tried to protect you. We all honestly thought that he was dead. The Red Queen wasn't known for keeping prisoners."

"Dad is still alive," Maura mumbled, her mind trying its hardest to piece together this new information but failing. "All these years. He could have come to my wedding and held my children when they were born. He could have walked me down the aisle. He could have called me up last week just to talk. Is he being held captive? He didn't abandon me if he's been a prisoner this whole time. I need to talk to Claudia. Maybe she has access to the Red Queen's secret diary where she confesses to kidnapping my dad!"

"Maura, don't pursue it," Cherry ordered. "Nothing good can come of this. Guide your people out of danger. Raise your children. Live your life. You can always talk to your father when you're both dead. He could be anywhere."

"How can I not?" Maura demanded. "He could be withering away in a prison cell somewhere. He could need my help. I'm sure he didn't leave us on purpose, even if you were going to divorce him. He wouldn't abandon me."

In a distant room, a large clock tolled, snapping Cherry's focus back to the matter she came to discuss.

"That's the end of your time here," she explained sadly. "I wish I could stay longer, but the kids need to get settled and you cannot stay forever in between realms. I love you. Never forget that. Don't worry about Alysiara and Spencer. They'll be happy with the family waiting for you here. I love you."

Within a blink of an eye, Maura’s mother and children vanished from sight, leaving Maura alone in this strange waiting room. She sobbed harder than she ever had in her life. For her two lost children. For the reminder of the hole in her life where her mother had been. For the cruel knowledge that her father was alive and yet absent from her life. Maura felt like curling up on the floor in the fetal position and never getting up again. Her entire life had been ruined over the course of an afternoon family barbecue, and there was no saving it. All she could do was what she always did in tough times: keep fighting until the painful knot in her stomach went away.

[mads-weasley]

Epiphany Pt. 10: State of Grace

Lewis Nixon x Reader

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Inspo: State of Grace TV (Acoustic Version) : Taylor Swift

A/N: it's short and sweet, but here is the final chapter from Paris! Thank you to everyone who's been reading this series. It really means the world. this is about the fictional portrayal of easy company on the show. nothing but love and respect for veterans on this blog!

Word Count: 1.5k

Summary: Following their heartfelt confession, the new couple shares their last night in Paris together.

Warnings: none :)

Under the soft moonlight, they walked back to the hotel, their hands intertwined, fingers fitting together like puzzle pieces. The streets were a bit quieter now, and the distant sound of laughter and music added a charming melody to the night.

“So,” (y/n) began, her eyes lifting to meet Lew’s. “How long have you had this planned?”

He used his free hand to scratch his scruff, a bashful smile playing on his lips. “Uh, a day.”

“A day?” Her surprise was evident, and her eyes widened in disbelief. “No way you came up with all of this yesterday.”

“Well, I love this city,” he admitted, a fondness evident in his tone. “So I knew where I had to take you.”

“You chose correctly,” she replied, her voice filled with warmth and appreciation as she leaned up to place a gentle kiss on his cheek. 

As they strolled past the café from the night before, the memory of their waitress and her heartfelt words flashed in Lew’s mind. He considered stopping to share the new news, but the café sat locked and dark, embracing the quiet of the night. 

“You know, I wasn’t completely honest with you last night,” he confessed, a sheepish smile tugging his lips. (Y/n) looked at him, a flicker of concern in her eyes. “Our waitress told me we reminded her of her and her husband, and that I needed to confess soon because it's rare to find two people who look at each other like we do.”

A soft smile bloomed on her face, and she released his hand, opting to wrap her arms around his waist as they walked, leaning her head on his shoulder. He reciprocated by draping his arm over her shoulder, drawing her close. 

“That makes more sense,” she mused, her voice carrying a hint of playfulness and affection.

The soft glow of the hotel’s lights welcomed them as they arrived at their destination. They made their way to the elevator, the click of her heels echoing in the quiet. He pressed the button, and as they waited, he gently took her hand in his, fingers interlacing naturally. 

As the doors slid open, they stepped inside, and the elevator began its ascent, carrying them to their floor. Lew glanced at her, a delicate smile playing on his lips. When they arrived at their floor, the doors chimed open, and they walked down the long hallway hand in hand. They stopped at her door, a comfortable silence settling between them.

Lew gently squeezed her hand. “I guess this is goodnight, sweetheart,” he said tenderly.

(Y/n) looked at him, a mix of emotions in her eyes. The night had been magical, and being so close to him felt right. “Lew,” she began softly, her voice carrying a certain vulnerability. “Would you like to come in for a bit?”

Lew hesitated, caught up in the moment. He looked into her eyes, a swirl of emotions dancing in the depths as if debating whether to accept the invitation. 

“Are you sure?” he asked gently, his voice filled with care and consideration. 

(Y/n) nodded. “I’m sure. I just want to spend more time with you before we get sent back to reality tomorrow.”

He smiled softly, feeling the warmth of her sincerity. “Alright then.”

They stepped into her room and sat at the end of her bed, taking off their shoes. (Y/n) sighed in relief after taking off her heels. “I miss my boots,” she joked, rubbing her aching feet.

He grabbed them from her hands quickly with a smirk. “I’ll just take them back if you don’t like them so much,” he joked.

He had bought them to go with her dress, and she loved them to no end.

“Lewis Stanhope Nixon,” (y/n) groaned, trying to take them from him. “Don’t you dare!”

Rolling his eyes, he handed the heels back to her, their laughter lingering in the air.  He then carefully settled down on the bed, propping his head up with his arm, the playful banter slowly giving way to a quieter, more contemplative atmosphere. She took the heels and placed them back in the box before plopping down beside him, mirroring his position. Their eyes locked for a brief moment, and amidst the lightheartedness, a moment of quiet seriousness settled. 

“Do you ever wonder what your life would be like if the war never happened?” she asked, her gaze thoughtful as her mind pondered the question. 

Memories of his life before the war flickered in his mind like distant stars. “I used to,” he admitted, his stare full of admiration as he looked at her. “But then we met, and I realized all of this was worth it because I found you.”

Her face bloomed into a gentle smile, and warmth spread through her. There was a certain magic in imagining an alternate life, one untouched by the brutality of war. 

“You know,” she began, her voice carrying a soothing, pensive tone. “Sometimes I imagine a life where we met back home. A simple life, free from war.”

Lew’s eyes sparkled with curiosity. “What would we be doing?”

Her gaze held a dreamy quality, the faint glow of the room adding to the wonder in her eyes. “Maybe you’d work at the Nitration Works,” she mused. “Or be a salesman of some sort. I like to think I’d teach at the local school. Maybe we’d even have a kid or two running around the house, driving us crazy.”

He could almost picture it: the quaint home, the giggles of children, the shared struggles and joys of a peaceful life. There was a bittersweet tinge to it, a longing for a reality they hadn’t experienced. But they were here, together, and that was something extraordinary in itself.

“Would you still want that if we make it through the war?” he asked gently, his eyes searching hers for answers.

“When we make it,” she corrected, reaching for his free hand. She threaded their fingers together and squeezed once. “And I want that more than anything, Lew.”

A warmth swelled in his chest at her words, a tender smile gracing his lips. The simplicity of her answer resonated deep within him. 

“I couldn’t agree more,” he admitted, his voice thick with emotion. “But can we add a dog in there somewhere?”

(Y/n) shrugged, quirking an eyebrow. “I think that can be arranged.”

Lew leaned over, his lips brushing hers in a sweet, lingering kiss. It was a kiss that held promises of more beautiful moments, and of a future they were beginning to envision.

Their conversation flowed effortlessly, painting a vivid picture of their hopes, dreams,  and fears. Time seemed to fly, and before they knew it, (y/n) was overcome by the warmth of the room and Lewis’ comforting presence.

He watched her closely, the soft glow of the lamp accentuating her features. Her eyes grew heavy, her breathing steady as she gradually succumbed to sleep. Lewis’ gaze caught a line of discolored skin beside her eye, the scar on her temple from D-Day. Nix gently traced it with his fingertip, his touch delicate on the raised skin. He marveled at her, his hand sliding from her scar to tenderly rest it on her neck, feeling the steady rhythm of her heartbeat. The man’s touch was tender and loving as he ran his thumb along her neck gently. He admired her beauty and grace in which she carried herself, even dead asleep. Lew carefully rose the bed and pulled the comforter up to her waist.

Kissing his forehead softly, he whispered, “Goodnight, doll.”

Reluctantly, he rose from the bed, his heart heavy with the longing to stay by her side. Lew turned off the lights, dimming the room into darkness. As he reached for the doorknob to leave, her sleepy voice stopped him.

“Lew,” she murmured, her eyes half-closed. “Stay with me.”

He paused, looking back at her. Her eyes were half-closed, but the softness and warmth of her gaze were impossible to resist. “Of course,” he whispered, a smile playing on his lips. Deciding to make her as comfortable as possible, he gently slipped off her tie, unbuttoned his jacket, and unbuckled his belt. He hung his tie neatly over the back of a chair and folded his shirt before setting them aside.

Lew glanced at (y/n) who was already deep in sleep once again, her breaths steady. He carefully slid out of his dress pants, placing them on the chair. Now in his undershirt and shorts, he moved to get into bed with her. As Nix settled into bed beside her, she shifted slightly in her sleep, her body unconsciously seeking warmth and comfort. A soft sigh escaped her lips as she turned towards him, nestling closer. (Y/n)’s head found its way to his chest, her arm draping over his middle. It was as if her subconscious recognized his presence and sought his embrace.

Feeling her draw near, Lew wrapped an arm protectively around her, his hand resting softly on her back. He raced idle patterns on her back with his fingertips, lost in the gentle rise and fall of her chest. As the darkness deepened and the world outside embraced the quiet darkness, the rhythmic pattern of her breathing lulled him into a gentle slumber. Lewis couldn’t help but smile. 

He whispered to the quiet room, “I could fall asleep like this for the rest of my life.”

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[blood-orange-juice]

A friend of mine joked about Childe being a deconstruction of hero's journey, I went 'wait a minute' and now I think he's an inversion of hero's journey. He goes through the same 'plot' but with different outcomes at each story point.

Like, look:

2. For the hero archetype "call to adventure" is some kind of trouble that happens (to him or others), some kind of problem that he has to solve. Childe had no such event in his life, he just randomly wanted adventures.

3. A hero normally refuses the call, having better things to do. We all know what Childe did.

4. He doesn't meet his mentor until the Abyss either. I'm also not sure Skirk can be truly seen as a mentor and not a magical being using the hero for her goals (falling into the allies/enemies category).

5. crossing the threshold is played straight

6-10. we simply don't know because Childe doesn't talk about that.

What bothers me is that normally in these stories ordeals and rebirth are about accepting and integrating your shadow self and I think Childe just got an extra shadow self without integrating anything. Dear Childe, wtf? are u all right?

In other words, someone else's goal and solution were imposed upon him, they were not truly his (now this reminds me of his character card. am I onto something here?)

11. Resurrection is played straight, he does return home. although one could argue he now carries a piece of Abyss with him/he now belongs to the Abyss, so he never truly returned

12. Return with the Elixir. this is where it gets fun. he cannot bring something from the Abyss that would solve a problem at home because... there was no problem. instead he creates new problems

Huh.

___

Alternative interpretation: we can view him as a child of the abyss (no pun intended). Sorry, the Abyss has assimilated your boyfriend, he's now a handsome man who can turn into a powerful being able to crush gods.

(ahem)

I mean, if the Abyss can assimilate one of the twins, why wouldn't our boi deserve it.

In this case his 'Ordinary world' is the Abyss and the problem he searches to solve lies there. What we see as normal world is actually the 'Special world'/'Otherworld' for him (that's why he doesn't truly fit anywhere, he's not even supposed to). His 'ordeal, death&rebirth' section is yet to happen.

(I'd love to see this, but I doubt mihoyo will pull off something like that)

Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[flightfoot]

Thank you for creating a space for me to safely share my thoughts about PJO! Hermes. I really appreciate it and please let me know if I need to stop sharing. I'll understand. I would not want you to be uncomfy. Thanks again. Ok, here we go.

I think Hermes' dynamic amongst the Olympians and minor deities is that of a mediator (based off his diplomacy domain). Not to mention, he works for his family in a sense.

When you're working for your family, you have two roles (family member and employee). Over the years, for Hermes, it's become more employee than family (in the other gods' eyes). Hermes still very much views them as family with an important duty to serve them but the others don't see it the same.

Hermes keeps putting out fires. Even in situations he's not directly involved in. He keeps the peace between Demeter and Hades (over Persephone), Zeus and Hera (over kingdom and marriage), Zeus and Poseidon (domain/power conflicts), and his rowdy siblings with each other and their father respectively. That's not even including the issues with the minor gods either.

His job is to be the calming and cheerful presence that looks on the bright side as a way to help others with their concerns and worries. With Dionysus (god connected to mental health and another cheerful presence) banished to camp and Iris' most recent retirement, he now has his hands full. He's taking on more messenger duties and trying to be a mediator (+ family therapist).

Hermes struggles with asking for time off to recharge because if he does he's not failing some CEO he doesn't know; he's failing his family. The world. How can he justify a break with stakes that high?

He's not even sure who he is anymore because he's so busy taking on everybody else's problems in addition to his own. He feels like he's inadvertently absorbing pieces of others' personalities into himself. That he's wearing so many hats and doing so much that he can't really take a moment to process and reflect on himself.

It's neglecting his kids. It's ultimately ruining his remaining relationships and his health. He just can't stop. Why?

Because he's scared that if he stops working, he'll lose all of his value in other beings' eyes. Who would love him if he was no longer of service? What if someone(s) got hurt or became distressed? They had another meaningless war because he couldn't cool tempers? He can't lose his family, there all he has. Except he doesn't really have any does he? His workaholism driving them away.

He loves what he does, but he could use a nap. He's exhausted and emotionally drained but their smiles are worth it right? He can neglect his inner child and relationships outside of work for the greater good right?

His family is slowing becoming his job completely. No longer family. Except Hermes is a bit oblivious to that part.

He lies through his teeth that he's fine. Using socially acceptable lies as a way to calm tensions and work on patching up relationships. "You look great in that dress, Hera." No not really (in truth). Manipulating and managing schedules like a personal assistant.

Zeus knows that he controls Hermes. He's no threat. Hermes is even being treated a bit more like a minor god with his cabin being disrespected at camp. Being pulled into work constantly by Zeus.

"Work it harder, better, faster, stronger. Our work is never over." - Daft Punk.

Yeah this fits, from what we see of Hermes, he seems to just be viewed and used as an employee by his family, not so much as a person. He's pretty jaded to how corrupt and unchangeable they are, pretty self-aware, but he also still clings to hope when Percy suggests that gods can change. I can see him trying to keep things civil from the inside, trying to help everyone and stop any major conflicts from erupting, and burning himself out in the process.

[blackroseguzzi]

Colin Zabel x reader

One shot with Colin and (ex) Fiancé.

Colin had asked me to marry him on Christmas Day. It was unpalatably cliche - unwrapping a box inside a box inside a box until I found the little black Zale’s one. It was the exact ring I had told him I wanted when he’d asked me what style I liked, and as him and our families huddled around me, eyes begging me to say ‘YES’ I decided to please them all and yelp with excitement and pulling in Colin for a kiss. I yelled Yes about 4 times before I think it really sunk in that Colin had just asked me to marry him.

We knew of each other in high school, but had been on vastly different planets. He loved school, and was a straight A student. He was early to class, and stayed behind to converse with teachers about assignments. It was cute in a dorky way.

I hated school. I wanted to stay home and write or read or go for a hike. I felt like an old soul being dragged around high school like a rag doll.

My friends and I were the ones who hot boxed our cars on the way to school, and who payed kids like Colin to do homework for them. I changed a lot once I graduated and got accepted to college. I knew it was only because my father was childhood friends with the Dean, but I tried to remind myself that I had talent, I just didn’t like to use it often when it came to assignments.

College made me realize that the world was bigger, that I could do and go where I wanted if I would just apply myself the way teachers had asked me to for so many years. 
I was accepted at the Pittsburgh paper before I even put my graduation cap on my head. They were sickeningly obsessed with my writing style. I had been writing for my college paper all four years, and I was damn proud of each piece of work that I’d done. I wanted to be that reporter that got all the facts straight and who wrote articles that changed people.

I had bumped into Colin in a coffee shop in Lehigh Valley doing some research on some brutality that had been surfacing in the area. I didn’t know it was Colin Zabel when he walked into the coffee shop. I was in leggings, a black oversized Bate’s College sweatshirt, and my hair was in a messy bun stuck straight up on my head. I wasn’t aiming to please anyone, just ask some questions around town about the crimes that had been happening. 
“Y/N, Y/L/M,” I remember his voice was so sexy and gentle. I twisted around to see who possibly could have known who I was in this area of PA. I was met by a handsome man with perfectly ironed clothing, a fresh shaved face and clean haircut. He smiled as he looked me over quick and then shook his head as if he was embarrassed to not have given me his name yet.

“Colin, Colin Zabel from Easton High. You probably don’t have any idea who I am. I was always in the closet in high school.”

I raised my eyebrow at him.

“I mean shadows. WOW. I didn’t mean to say closet, oh god.” I just started to laugh, and Colin’s shoulders released some tension.

“I do remember that name. I think I had English literature with you. I think you called me out for accidentally using the wrong ‘Their” in my final paper,” It was my turn to look him up and down. He had certainly grew into his awkwardness, and I suddenly felt so embarrassed at the way I was dressed.

“Hey let me buy you a coffee? It’s the least I can do for the final paper correction.” He flashed me a smile and I felt my heart pump blood a little faster. “I’m not sure where you’re headed but I’d love to get a few minutes of your time to catch up,” He ushered me forward and I shook my head.

“I’d love that, Colin.”

Three years later:

I stared at myself in big giant mirror in front of me. The Martina Liana wedding dress I had dreamed of my whole life. It was my final fitting today, and in two weeks I was becoming Mrs. Zabel.

My mother stood next to me, I could see the tears forming in her eyes.

“My baby girl, you’re too perfect. I can’t wait to see Colin’s reaction when he sees you!” She put her hand over her mouth. I really didn’t want her to cry. I also really didn’t want to be there. I had gotten an email today from the Washington Post. They wanted me to join their team. I only sent them my resume after I got a nasty comment on my latest news article. I had gotten wine drunk and sent all my work to their editor in hopes I could feel a sense of confidence in my work again. I was dragging the last two years since starting to work remotely from Colin and I’s shared apartment. I wrote about mindless nonsense in my sweatpants eating ramen noddles on most days. I was getting lazy and I wanted change. I was loosing my lust for wanting to move people with my writing. Now I just wanted them to finish my whole article instead of skim to the end.

“Are we almost finished here?” I turned towards the lady behind me. I probably shouldn’t snap at the woman who had a needle in one hand and my 5 thousand dollar wedding dress in the other. She rambled quickly in Spanish before getting back to work.

“Honey, you look stressed. Are you getting nervous?” My mom took my hands.

“No, god no.” Lies. “I’m just excited to go home and see Colin.” He had been working long nights at the office, his newest case was running him into the ground. He hardly slept the last few weeks trying to move up the ranks of his newest position as county detective. He absolutely loves what he does, and it shows. He was so smart, and loyal to his job. I couldn’t ever imagine him leaving, but I know he would if I asked him to…

I politely asked my mom to grab my phone for me, telling her I was going to ask Colin to pick up a bottle of wine to celebrate the last dress fitting before the big day. Yet again, a lie.

Another email from the Washington Post editor was the only notification I had on my phone. 
I tapped the screen with nervous hands. What if they were retracting their offer?

“Y/N,

As you can see we have so many outpouring of applications waiting to be accepted into our paper. You work is fabulous, and we need that kind of insight and spectacular attention to detail at our company. Please let us know by tomorrow morning if you accept this once in a lifetime opportunity. We’re excited to hear from you and plan our next big steps!

Talk soon.”

I didn’t sleep much that night for more than just the proposition from the paper. Colin hadn’t returned my texts in hours. I knew his career was extremely time consuming, but I also knew that it was dangerous. I only asked him to give you updates here and there- and usually he was extraordinarily good at keeping you informed on his whereabouts. He loved that I loved him. He was always telling me that I was the best thing in his entire life. I know most girls would kill to have someone say that to them, but it made me feel utterly stuck. I wanted this job at the Washington post so bad I could taste it. I knew Colin would be ecstatic for me, and he would quit his job and start at square one at a new job in DC…but DC was a completely different kind of dangerous than PA. That terrified the shit out of me. He was too pure, he was too good. He would do anything for me and I couldn’t accept that kind of responsibility.

I decided to take a shower. It was the middle of the night and my thoughts had made me feel the need to have a good cry- and it was just my comfort place to do it. I hated crying, especially in front of people. I always used the excuse to cry in the shower, and I’d done that ever since I could remember. I felt the water rush over my face, forgetting that the warm liquid was mixed with my tears. I can’t pass up this opportunity to work for the Washington Fucking Post, but I knew I couldn’t allow Colin to throw away the life he built here- even before I entered his world. I didn’t want to imagine declining the job opportunity and rotting away my career that I’d made for myself. I was already feeling like I was starting to just be an extension of Colin. I would soon just be his wife that nobody cared about that would pop out three or four kids and completely give up journalism to get pissed and puked on and cook and clean. I hated cooking. Colin was so much better at it than I was anyway.

I heard the bathroom door open and I felt the hairs on my arms stand up. I could hear Colin undoing his belt and the rest of his clothes crashing down to the floor in a soft thud. He peeled back the shower curtain and I mustered up a smile.

“I’m soooo sorry I didn’t get a chance to text you back, I was out on the field. I am so close to crashing this case, you have no idea.” Colin slowly made his way into the shower and I quickly wrapped my arms around him, I wanted to feel his embrace. It was my home, the most comfortable place on earth.

Was I too comfortable?

“I was just worried,” I felt the hot water running down my back and I looked into Colin’s dark eyes. He was such a handsome guy, and his eyes were my favorite thing about him. For someone who was such an open book, his eyes gave off so such mystery. He was religious about being clean shaven. In all the years you knew him, he would shave the little stubble he had every Sunday morning. And that smile - got it was intoxicating.

He kissed my forehead sweetly, and I felt a warmth in my heart that I dreamed about feeling for someone since I was a child. I would always love Colin, but I had to love myself more?

Colin grabbed the shampoo bottle from the side shelf in the shower and started to ramble on about work, what he could discuss publicly that is. I knew the case meant everything to him, and he was so proud of how close he was getting to cracking it.

I watched him shampoo his hair as he moved me around so that he was now under the water stream, and he turned it down a bit. He wasn’t one to enjoy my scolding showers.

“Oh, I forgot - You sure you want me in a black tux? I was thinking maybe Navy would look good with the Carnations. What do you think?” Colin looked at me, and I realized he was talking about the wedding- the wedding we were were going to have in two fucking weeks.

“Whatever you think is best honey,” I stated as I decided it was time to get out of the shower before I turned into a prune.

“It’ll be a surprise at the alter then,” Colin called out as I wrapped myself in a fresh towel. “I still can’t believe you’ll finally be Mrs. Zabel.” I could hear the smile in his voice as I snuck out of the bathroom and walked slowly back to our shared bedroom, quietly crying the whole way there.

THE NEXT MORNING

I sat at the kitchen island, my hands shaking as they hovered over the keyboard of my computer. I took in a breath and held it there for a moment. I heard the door of the bedroom open and watched Colin walk briskly around the kitchen. He plopped in a bagel and poured a cup of coffee. We did this dance almost ever single day. I got my computer open and turned on while he got himself breakfast and answered work emails from his phone. He slid me over a mug, he knows just how I like my coffee- black, like how my soul was feeling.

“It might be a late night for me tonight, babe,” he called out to me, but I didnt respond I just watched as he spread cream cheese on his barely toasted bagel.

I pressed the enter key on my keyboard and the swoosh should of the email I just sent expelled from my computer. I closed the laptop and stared at Colin. He was leaning over the island in our shared kitchen in our shared apartment that we shared our lives together in for so many wonderful years.

He picked up the bottom half of his bagel - he always ate the bottom part first. He was always one for silly repetitions in his life. He took a bite and scrolled through his phone. I watched him swallow and I decided it was time to speak.

“I’m calling off the wedding.”

Colin’s eyes shot towards you. He instantly turned white, and his face twisted in confusion.

“Excuse me? What did you just say?” I knew he was hoping that I was joking or that he had heard me wrong.

“I’m not in love with you anymore, Colin…..I’m moving to DC at the end of the week.”

He slowly put down the bottom half of his bagel. He pressed his lips together as he didn’t dare break eye contact with me. I had done what my heart was yelling at me not to do, but one day I just hoped he’d understand why.

That was the bitter end for us, and as much as it had pained me to do so I did it. Colin was always one to play it safe in life. I watched him eat the bottom half of his plain bagel every morning for the whole existence of our relationship. I knew he was one to never break a habit and that loved to please me in any way he could - no matter how much it hurt him. I wanted him to eat the top half some days, and I wanted him to go out and do things that scared him and excited HIM- I wanted him to do things for Colin, and nobody else. I know he loved me, but sometimes I worried he just loved the idea of me. The wife that he never fought with, the one he proposed to on Christmas just because the Jewelry store adds had told him it was the perfect time to do it. He played everything in his life so safe, and he deserved so much more.

19 Months Later

“HEY LADY!” My editor barged into the room as I was packing up some of my work things. I was about to travel home for thanksgiving. I wasn’t thrilled about both since my mother had practically disowned me since my split with Colin. I’m not sure if I had ruined her reason to brag to her friends, or that I had cost her close to 10 grand in wedding deposits she couldn’t get back.

“Please tell me you have a reason for me to stay at work this week?” I asked with pleading eyes. I gave her a small frown and put up my praying hands. She laughed and handed me a printed copy of the paper from my home town.

“Body of a young girl found dead in Chester County”

I grabbed the paper from her and skimmed the article. I tried not to focus on the grammatical errors of the small towns horrific paper, but of the intensity and lack of information that this case had.

“Wow, this is horrible. It reminds me of that girl… Katie… Katie something. She went missing a few years ago. I wonder if it’s related?” I handed back the article and continued to stuff my paperwork into my backpack.

“Girl, do you not get what I’m getting at here?” You glanced at your editor and cocked your eyebrow. I had no idea what she was getting at actually.

“You need to cover this story. I want a piece upon your return about how you went home on thanksgiving to learn of a murder that happened in your small town. I think it’ll blow up- considering it clearly isn’t getting the media coverage it deserves with this shit piece the wack job paper of theirs came out with.” I laughed and shook my head, who in DC wanted to hear about my small town, and a murder there. Of course, this was a terrible story and sad for all involved, but who would want to read about this girls case in the Washington Post?

“Look, it’s doing the girl a favor and I don’t think we’ve covered a piece like this in a long time. You can tie it to the brutality epidemic in the world right now! I think you’ll make it brilliant and will keep you focused on work and not stalking your ex.” She laughed at herself and I inwardly cringed at her comment. I had gotten drunk at the work new years party and completely broke down about Colin and how much I googled searched him.

I sighed and grabbed the paper from her hands.

“Fine, I’ll do it,” I rolled my eyes as she jumped up and down for a moment before turning to leave my office.

“I knew I loved ya the moment I met ya!” She yelled back as she exited the room. I looked down at the paper before shoving it into my bag. This was going to be a long week…