#i want to see the list spotify. show me the full list of these genres

[anotherpapercut]

sometimes I question the way spotify organizes things into genres. their genre playlists often have things that don't fit at all and this year my wrapped said I only listened to like 19 genres and there's just no way that's true. I have about 10 different genre playlists just that I've made and listened to this year alone not counting all of the stuff I've listened to that I don't have a genre specific playlist for

[ckret2]

i’m admittedly obsessed with music/have music as a special interest so this question has been on my mind for quite some time now - if Bill (from your goldilocks fanfic) were to listen to any music, or have any particular music taste, what would it be? Any particular songs in mind that he likes? ( <—totally not looking for more/new songs to listen to hahahahaha…sweats)

half of me thinks he’d like 40s/50’s/60’s music (thanks to the vera lynn reference in the fic, but also bc he sings it in-show), but the other half of me wants him to like musicals (heathers, in particular) - i can’t explain why lol

alternatively, if you’ve answered smth like this already, i’d love to know what songs you enjoy/listen to!

Have a post about his tastes and a hideous-sounding playlist! And it even held up in the face of TBOB.

The only difference in my headcanons is that I said the peak of his his tastes centers on the 60s and I subsequently found an interview where Alex confirms Bill's tastes do indeed range from about 40s~60s; but I just got out of another fandom where everyone headcanoned a character is into 40s music ranging into the 50s and I'm pretty burnt out on The Most Popular 40s Jazz That Everybody And Their Grandma Knows so I still personally prefer to focus on the 50s for him lmao.

In fic he makes a reference to a band called Mysterious Mo's Average Joes; I imagine them as an in universe equivalent to Question Mark & the Mysterians, except more obscure.

Specific to my headcanoned music tastes of Bill from my fic rather than just Bill in general: coming in his tastes are all the same, but hanging around Mabel has given him an expanded palate for boy band music and kids music, although on the boy band front he prefers dance-y songs over ballad-y songs and on the kids music front he has to steer through a minefield of cheaply-produced 80s cartoons that use synthesized music to save cost on an orchestra.

So far, nothing else has happened to change his tastes.

Although eventually Robbie's introducing him to emo.

I listen to too much music for the question "what songs do you listen to," it's like asking "what words do you use" lmao, lemme look at my recent activity. Lately I've been getting into She Hates Emotion and the new albums by Zeal & Ardor and Fleshgod Apocalypse; I've been slacking in my metal education on learning the difference between black metal and death metal (I usually focus on symphonic metal & neighboring genres) so I'm looping back to the basics to learn more there; big fan of Saltatio Mortis's new album; I've been listening to the deeper cuts & newer material of mainstream early 00s alt rock & nu metal bands (Shinedown, Stone Sour, Staind) to see what I've been missing out on beyond their radio hits; and in general the past few months I've been trawling through playlists of classic 80s goth, dark wave, synth pop, & aggrotech to expand my library there. Very excited for the new Linkin Park lineup, love their new vocalist so far and it's heartening to see them releasing new material. Not so excited by the new Nightwish album, it has the nightwish sound but not the spark. This isn't even an accurate representation of my full musical tastes, I've just been really into metal recently. Current favorite bands of the last few years are Alt-J and Ghost. I listed some of my favorite albums on this post. It's too bad you can't just link your Spotify liked songs without sticking them all in a separate playlist—oh hold on I have a songs I can sing playlist, it's perpetually incomplete on top of being 3-4 years out of date but it's a starting point.

[undreaming-fanfiction]

Steddie 2023 Music List collab

2023 is almost here and with that, I propose something for all of us Steddie lovers.

Please post a single song that you associate with Steddie and tag me/reblog this post so I can see it and add it to the Spotify playlist.

Include the lyrics and your reasoning, why do you see them in the song? Feel free to include a small drabble, a full fic, a fanart, a Christmas sweater, I don't care. The only requirements are 1 person 1 song and the post with reasoning. Let us see what you see in the song. Share your Steddie vision.

Let's build the ultimate Steddie music list together. All music genres are welcome, all headcanons, all versions (happy ending Steddie, one-sided, pining, AUs...).

Please tag as many people as you want and forward this, the more the merrier! I will try to update this list as much as possible with the links to your posts. And if you find the link to your post missing, please DM me, I will fix it ASAP!

The playlist is HERE!

Tagging my moots and people I follow to get this show started (the usual no pressure if you don't want to thingy here) @unclewaynemunson @strawberryspence @steveshairychest @willowworkswithwords @thefreakandthehair @thelastwalkingsoul @skeliiix @stevesbipanic @steviesbicrisis @henrystars @yournowheregirl @henderdads @frankenstein-ate-my-left-shoe @sidekick-hero @legitcookie @hoples (gimme that November Rain, I know you want to!) and anyone who wants to join, if I left you out I just forgot because I'm rushing to post this while I remember, I still love you all!

Oh and by the way. YOU DON'T NEED TO BE WRITERS/ARTISTS. You can just love the ship and that's it. *smooch*

If you want a tag, it's Steddie2023MusicList.

Go!

EDIT: I very much appreciate all the song comments/reblogs, but please create a post with the reasoning and tag me so I can add your song/reason to the list! It's not just a set of songs, but also the reasons why you chose them! I can't link comments so please, create posts, not just tags or comments. Thank you!

List of songs and posts under the cut:

@undreaming-fanfiction: Meat Loaf - All of Me

@daysarestranger: Journey - Faithfully

@steveshairychest: Chance Peña - In My Room

@frankenstein-ate-my-left-shoe: The Chordettes - Eddie My Love

@asbealthgn: Ludo - The Horror Of Our Love

@reignofdreams: Adam Lambert - Whataya Want From Me

@hoples: Guns N' Roses - November Rain

@goddess-of-the-donut: Taylor Swift - Invisible String

@henderdads: Alex & Sierra - Little Do You Know

@mira-jadeamethyst: Beth Crowley - The Dark

@cinnamon-mushroomabomination: ABBA - Super Trouper

@steviesbicrisis: Maneskin - Coraline

@rogueangelshunter: Jóhan Jóhansson - Mandy Love Theme

@willowworkswithwords: Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young - Almost Cut My Hair

@yellowsweater-bluevest: Cuarteto de nos - El innombrable

@sidekick-hero: Mehro - Chance With You

@lenythepillow: The Smiths - There Is A Light That Never Goes Out

[themainspoon]

Recently I became aware of a musical genre by the name of “Glitchbreak”, a musical genre very closely related to Breakcore and seemingly only separated from it by it’s anime and y2k inspired aesthetic and samples. When you look in the right places it really starts to seem like the reason the genre exists is to refer to a sub-genre of Breakcore that a lot of Breakcore fans don’t like (it also sometimes gets called “anime Breakcore” by these individuals).

So far this is pretty whatever on it’s own. Glitchbreak is sparkling DnB, because it isn’t Breakcore unless it’s from the correct region of France or whatever. But when you look into the artists who produce in this genre I think an interesting pattern begins to emerge that’s worth talking about, especially in the context of this genre essentially being music that was deemed to not be “true Breakcore” by Breakcore fans. Because honestly this whole situation kind of raises some possible red flags for me, and I want to draw attention to that in case I have actually identified a real problem within this niche little online music community, because nobody else seems to have pointed this out.

One really interesting thing to note about "Glitchbreak" as a genre is that none of the artists who apparently make it use the term "Glitchbreak" to describe their music. Despite this, it is recognized as a real genre by streaming services like Spotify and many other sites. It also has a small Reddit community (r/glitchbreak). I personally find this Subreddit incredibly telling in a lot of ways. Firstly is their "Glitchbreak QnA" post (which is actually one of the first things that comes up if you google "Glitchbreak"). In this post they say the following about the musical genre that their Subreddit is about:

What is Glitchbreak and how is it different from breakcore and jungle?

It is a music microgenre that can be combination of different genres, but the main similarity of the songs is a breakbeat or a dnb beat (less common). Aesthetic influences include anime, web y2k, glitchcore and many others.

Why was this subreddit created?

Most people don’t know what to call songs that are not true breakcore. The main reason of this subreddit is to separate anime “breakcore” posts from r/breakcore. This is to lessen conflict in r/breakcore because people would argue that it is not breakcore but actually a ambient-atmospheric-liquid-jungle-mashcore dnb song. Some of the members also dislike anime “breakcore”, so this is the subreddit to post that kind of music

(sic) and emphasis added for the above btw.

Their Subreddit description is similar, if more direct:

I also want to state that this post isn't about the Subreddit. These are just people who wanted to talk about the music they liked but found that they couldn't do so elsewhere, and so they created their own community. They are not the issue here, what they have done is fine, and in fact is something that they may have only had to have done because of the hostility that other communities display towards this "micro-genre".

Now, with this context added, Let's have a look at some of the artists in the “Glitchbreak” genre. This list is in no way exhaustive, but it lists a few artists considered by those in the community to have made "Glitchbreak" music. This list really only exists to show the observation that I'm making in this post. I do not have the time to make a full exhaustive list. This is just an observation, this isn't an academic paper, do not take what I have observed as objective fact. (Here is the Subreddit's list of artists btw in case you want to look through a much longer list.)

Rory in early 20’s: trans lesbian (she/her) (most of this info comes from this page https://en.pronouns.page/@rorynearly20s. That one doesn't mention that she's trans though, we only know that because it was listed on a different [and now defunct] page on the same website, and we can see people talking about it on this community post she made about it: https://www.youtube.com/post/UgkxSi_3DOgeSbn2ceVa416R-AlixvyfYeQw)

Machine Girl: These days Machine Girl is a duo, and they mainly make Digital Hardcore, so the people who make this classification are likely referring to the music produced by the bands founder (Matt) alone, and not to the work they produced with Sean Kelly (the groups second member). Matt is Nonbinary and uses they/them, (I only know this because of a screenshot of the official discord shared in the comments of a Reddit post by user u/weedcop420. if you just want to see the image you can see it here.)

Sewerslvt: Transfem/nonbinary, possibly they/them. To our knowledge was in a wlw relationship for a while. (Information on this artist is a little sparse and obscure for multiple reasons that I don't have time to get into. This is based on what their fans have been able to find/already knew. But the fact that this artist is MtF is confirmed. Their final ever musical project was apparently dedicated to their late girlfriend Angel, we don't know much else. Most of this can be found on the fan wiki. But I won't be linking it here because this artist seems to have deleted a lot of this information from their socials. I only bring them up because they are too large to not mention.)

Vertigoaway: Transfem (She/They) (Pretty easy to find this out: https://vertigoaway.space/details also married to purity://filter, another artist on this list, as seen in her twitter bio: https://twitter.com/vertigoawaypls)

purity://filter: Couldn't see pronouns listed anywhere, but since purity://filter and Vertigoaway list each other as their wives on their social media's, it's pretty safe to assume that purity://filter is a queer woman. (https://www.instagram.com/purity_filter/)

Bye2: Based on what I was able to find, Bye2 seems to be a queer woman. (My sources for this? We know that Bye2 is a woman because they have stated as such in the Youtube comments on one of their songs [it's in a reply to the pinned comment]. And my information on their sexuality also comes from some random place on YouTube: in the YouTube description for their song "Girl Soup多摩市風" we get the following quote "Thank u to This HHot Wife of Mine who recorded it thru the CRT : )" (sic) I know this isn't exactly conclusive proof, but this is the best info I could find. Can we please bring back helpful "About Me" sections? While we're here I would also like to share the official Bye2 website (https://bye2.co.uk/) because I came across it while looking for this stuff, and while it wasn't overly helpful, it is a really fun looking site on desktop.)

So now my point: This genre is basically defined as "not Breakcore", and a whole lot of its top artists seem to be queer and/or women. I think we have to ask ourselves "Why does the music these artists produce need a separate genre?" While not all of these artists would say that they make Breakcore, some do (or did). And yet, their songs are not classified as such, they are labelled as being a different genre that none of them seem to claim or acknowledge.

Now, maybe I've accidentally put on a tinfoil hat here, but the fact that a separate genre defined by what it isn't exists to classify the music of these majority queer and/or female artists rings some alarm bells in my head. This "genre" seems to exist partially to allow these artists to be excluded from other genres. At most it feels like it should be a sub genre, but in reality it seems more like a sort of "anti-genre".

I am not saying that those who use this label are doing this on purpose, or that the concept of micro-genre's is bad in any way (again, the people on the Glitchbreak Subreddit have done nothing wrong). But what I am saying is that I think we should think harder about why this distinction is being made in the first place, because it seems suspect to me. Especially since this doesn't seem like a term that has come from these artists themselves at all (in fact there are terms that come from these artists that could be getting used instead, purity://filter coined "Sextrance"), it exists purely to differentiate them from other musicians who make similar music, and seems to have been born as a result of fans who want to gatekeep the genre's they listen to not only from fans, but artists as well.

Has an entire genre been created to exclude female and/or queer musicians from more mainstream niche genres? I don't know, I'm not claiming that, I just recognized a pattern and felt the need to share it just in case it was meaningful, and maybe it isn't.

[theindietrumpeter]

Commercial Trumpet Playing

‘Commercial trumpet playing’ wasn’t in my vocabulary when I was studying. As far as I was concerned you were either ‘classical’ or ‘jazz’ and I didn’t feel like I fit into either category, I was just ‘a trumpet player’. Years after I’ve left university most of the work I have done has been Indie, Rock, Pop, Country, even Symphonic Metal. It wasn’t the path I chose, it chose me and I am a self-professed commercial trumpet player.

‘What is a ‘commercial trumpet player’?’ some of you may be asking. Put simply, it is a trumpet player who plays music that isn’t classical or jazz… however, they may also play classical and/or jazz as part of what they do. There is a bit more to it than that but that’s the essence.

A commercial player will be able to switch genres and styles at the drop of a hat and, not only will they be able to play those styles, they will be able to do so convincingly and consistently. I think (although don’t quote me on it) that the days of back-to-back recording sessions, TV shows, radio shows and club dates have dwindled to basically nothing, however, for the diligent and consistent trumpet player, there is work to be had if you know where to look.

Before looking for the work though, you need to be ready. You need to know your genres and be able to play convincingly in those genres. The first step to playing convincingly is listening and lots of it. Create playlists on Spotify/YouTube/Apple Music of songs from each genre - particularly ones with horn sections in. Get online and see if you can find transcriptions of the songs so you can play along or, even better, create your own transcriptions as this is a super useful skill to have as a trumpet player. If a song doesn’t have a horn section grab some manuscript paper and create one or, even better, improvise one. I’m not talking improvised solos, I’m talking ‘on the fly’ pads, stabs and riffs. Give it a try!

In addition to listening there are a few books out there to help you learn about playing in different genres. I’ve used both of these a lot and think they’re great. As usual, no links because I don’t want to play favourites but get hold of the following:

Eric Murine, The Progressive Guide to Commercial Trumpet Playing. It’s downloadable, legally, for free. Murine covers Blues, Soul, Motown, Bebop, Funk, Funky Soul and Pop. In each chapter there are 2 exercises and a duet based on music in that style, a suggested listening list and there is a 14 week plan and a 7 month plan to cover all of the material. As it is Murine’s doctoral thesis (don’t let that scare you off) there is also extra information and interviews included too.

Tiger Okoshi & Charles Lewis, Berklee Practice Method: Trumpet. Available in hard copy from various retailers, this book comes with a CD and covers Rock, Blues, Blues Swing, Funk, Light Funk, Hard Rock, Bossa Nova and Stop Time. Each chapter has sections on Technique/Theory, Learning the Groove, Improv and Reading as well as a daily practice routine. The really great thing about this book is the fact that it marries up with the books for the other instruments so you can work on playing together as a horn section or even a full band. It’s a solid investment.

Between these two publications you should have everything covered in terms of genres. I like to complement these in the practice room with fundamentals written with modern playing in mind. Clarke, Schlossberg and Arban are great but they don’t really cater to the needs of the modern player. To help with this Clint ‘Pops’ McLaughlin has rewritten the Arban and the Clarke - both are available on his website.

It might be a bit of a placebo thing but I actually prefer modern books that have been written with commercial players in mind. I use The Beast Series by Matt Fronke, Modern Flexibilities for Brass by Scott Belck, Technical Studies for the Modern Trumpet Player by Pat Harbison and Randall Reyman’s Technical Drills and Duets for the Jazz/Commercial Trumpet Player to work on my fundamentals. I find they get me in the right mindset.

There is a pervading idea in the trumpet world that you need a certain sound to be a commercial player - bright, focussed and brilliant - and that may be true but you also need to be able to blend in with a section too, whether that’s in an orchestra, big band, pop band etc. so just be aware the sounds you are aiming for and think about how you can change it for different settings.

A quick note on gear because aren’t we all gearheads when it comes down to it…? You can play anything on any trumpet and get the sound you want, however, it’s not always efficient. Playing a 3 hour funk gig on a large bore horn would be a killer. Think about smaller bore horns for those gigs. If you’re not sure where to start Yamaha and Bach make ‘commercial’ trumpets - the YTR6335RC and the LT190L1B respectively - which might be worth having a blow on to see what works but remember that other horns can work just as well for you. The same can be said about mouthpieces… Bach produce a commercial mouthpiece in a variety of sizes and Warburton, Pickett-Blackburn and Patrick Mouthpieces all offer a range of ‘commercial’ backbores for their 2-piece mouthpieces and they are all available as one-piece mouthpieces too. Again, this is just a note, buying a horn and a mouthpiece just because it says commercial on it isn’t necessarily going to give you the sound you want or need… I am not saying go out and buy a new horn and mouthpiece combo. Take advice from your teacher or another trusted trumpet player before embarking on that journey.

My take away tips are:

Listen to a lot of music in a lot of genres.

Include the right things in your practice: different styles, sight reading, range.

Learn to write horn lines to songs - on paper and by ear. A good starting point is learning your pentatonic and blues scales. It will get you started but you will need to build on those pretty quickly.

[notebookmusical]

Hi! I'm sorry you're still not feeling well. It seems like it really sucks I hope you were still able to have a good and fun weekend with your friend though! I hope the new medication helped as well but from your latest update, it seems like it didn't. Aww I really hope you feel better before your birthday and the holidays coming up. I've never had black forest cake I don't think..or is that the one with cherry filling in the middle? If it is, then I have and I think it's yummy too. I do love Oreo cake, vanilla, and just plain chocolate or double chocolate. But I have a lot of favorite desserts too..but it's mostly brownies and cookies. I like chocolate chip and double chocolate and ice cream but I don't love it when it's cold. I've never had tiramisu I don't think though.

I want need to be released too but mostly just cuz all of the girls was already released so I hope it is and it is like False God. I think cuz it sounds so different from any Taylor song to me. When I first heard it, I think it sounded more like a Selena Gomez song..maybe in the verses more than Taylor..but I do love how Taylor shows her vocals in the song and I do know other people love it a lot. The only thing about that is then it would be technically the last rerecording to be released and idk if it should end with that but I do see how it kinda works. Unless she puts out an eras rerecording doc or something as a thank you for the tour, then it would be the next best thing. I do still like to play it around Christmas sometimes. She also has a show on her birthday next year so that's exciting enough too.

Haha wow. I actually listen to something new like everyday so I could never get burnt out on new music haha. Basically my sister has a long drive everyday so we pick a new album to listen to everyday and kinda have a theme for each week based on genres. That's how I discover so much new music and we add a few songs to a big hours long playlist all year and play it near the end of the year haha and then we will pick our favorites. Obviously if it's an artist I really like, I play their albums for at least a week. I also play a lot of recommended radio so that's how I find new artists too. So what's your top artists and songs for Spotify wrapped since it came out? I think there's an equivalent with apple music if you use that. But I'm so excited to know and I will add anything you recommend to my list. I wasn't really surprised..obviously Taylor was my top artist lol but I feel like it also matters how long an album is and for top songs it's how much a certain song will play on your recommended radio and if you let it play. Oh I forgot about those but will listen eventually of course..along with the fruitcake EP soon.

As for books, I'll have to work on my list and I can tell you what I'll be reading more specifically later. Sorry it's just not something I'm focused on right now but I did find a few more books to add to my list recently so idk and I'm always looking for new recommendations too so I'll look at your post whenever its updated. Oh that's so cool and exciting. I've recently getting more educated on the publishing world which sounds exhausting so that's actually pretty cool. I honestly haven't read Hunger Games in a long time but that sounds like a pretty good plan if you get to it.

Oh I like her music but I'm not sure she would fit as Eurydice..cuz her voice is too soft almost? Thanks for the link! I will go thru it later and give my full opinion. Oh I mentioned a doc about the rerecordings earlier but would absolutely love this too! Beyonce had a little bit of this in her movie which I thought was really cool and made it different than eras. She would talk for a few minutes about something that would kinda lead into the next song so the transitions were pretty smooth and didn't distract from the show. Also it's always very cool to see her talking and share stuff from her personal life which we don't get to see as much. I'm pretty sure she didn't cut anything either which was impressive! I couldn't help comparing it to Eras but more so in a fun way cuz I love both of them and you can really see how much artistry and care they put in the work and that's a really cool thing to see. Taylor also supported Beyonce at her premiere just like how Beyonce did for her and I loved her dress so much..it was really on theme haha. I also paid attention to the sets and it's something I have to pay more attention to in the eras movie again. Another cool thing Beyonce's movie did was show all the different outfits she would wear for a certain song and I kinda wish eras movie did that now lol. Also Beyonce showed all her special guest performances in her movie too. It was kinda cool cuz it was almost set up in eras too but in a different way I guess cuz it wasn't by era..but she did start from the beginning of her career and mixed in a few songs. Also her opening songs started out slower in the show but I think that's pretty typical of Beyonce..like she gets more energetic as the show goes on. She also did not sing a song from every album..there was nothing from Lemonade but that's also a personal album for her or maybe didn't fit this show. But she sang every song from Renaissance and somehow made them work in the order of the album...and she even included the performance of songs she only sang at a few shows. I think seeing it was fun too cuz I didn't know the full show as well as eras even if I saw a few clips online and having it professionally recorded helps a lot too. Even if you don't love her music, it's definitely worth a watch at some point.

I do think it was cool of her to sing it for the end of the year and cuz there's a bit of a break on tour and I agree with how it makes her feel. I just think the chorus could be better cuz she repeats the same lyrics or used thing more than once and I don't love the melody but some people love it. Its just there to me and some songs are just like that I guess. I feel similarly about Illicit Affairs but I like it on tour and maybe even Off the top of my head, the first two opening nights had the best songs! Mirrorball and Tim McGraw and State of Grace and This is me trying but i would probably pick night two. Another one would be the eras movie pick or I Can See You and I think Maroon? Also Getaway Car and Maroon! I got pretty lucky with Right where you Left Me and Castles Crumbling too!!! I liked yours too! What about you?

Aside from seeing the Renaissance movie, I also got a haircut after a long time which was nice. I will probably also be busy for the next few weeks just letting you know. The end of the year is always stressful to me so I'm sorry if I don't reply as much. I hope your weekend with your friend was still fun! Happy Monday and I hope you have a great week!!! 🩷

hi friend!! it was one of the best weekends ever, i think — just something that i very much needed + very good for my soul, but i am very tired and just quite sad now! long distance friendships are so so hard :( i've mostly been feeling a bit better aside from my voice which just does not want to return to me for some reason!! but that's okay — the good news, is that it gives me an excuse to not be super super social at the work party on wednesday (which i'm lowkey dreading haha).

and yes! black forest cake is the one with cherry in the middle — i don't really like cherry, but i do loveeee black forest cake for some reason! i am not a huge fan of super sweet sweets (and often, brownies are too sweet for my taste) but one of my friends has been talking to me about brownies all week and now i really really want one. i think i'm going to try to get one on wednesday when i go to my work party as a pre-party treat, actually! tiramisu is delicious — if you like coffee (i don't know if you do, actually — i don't think we've talked about coffee! do you like coffee? what's your coffee order?) which i do!

i would love love love more BTS for eras and the rerecordings! i just think all of that is so interesting, i want to know about the costumes + the thought behind the dive, the choreography, why the piano is painted with those flowers, why debut was cut from the setlist :(, whose idea it was for those very specific visuals, etc. i just want to know everything!

there is an apple music equivalent — it's called apple replay! my top 5 artists were: the 1975, taylor, holly humberstone, maisie, and sabrina carpenter — but replay also gives you your top 15, so here are the rest of them: inhaler, gracie abrams, the japanese house, noah kahan, beabadoobee, del water gap, olivia rodrigo, lizzy mcalpine, haim and charli xcx! and my most listened to songs are: oh caroline, happiness, if you're too shy (let me know), lost the breakup, body better, me & you together song, you're just a boy (and i'm kinda the man), the good witch, about you, i'm in love with you, pressure, menswear, scarlett, heart out and the sound! which is so funny because i don't even remember listening to a good half of these that much (probably in the first half of the year). my most listened to albums were: the good witch, emails i can't send fwd, notes on a conditional form, the good witch (deluxe), speak now (taylor's version), paint my bedroom black, reputation, barbie the album, the 1975 (deluxe), guts, cuts & bruises, i like it when you sleep, for you are so beautiful yet so unaware of it, good riddance, in the end it always does and midnights (3 am edition)!

and you don't need to apologize — just know i'm excited for your favorites when you have them! i will try to figure out my list as well! and ahhh, the renaissance film sounds so so good! i'm excited to watch it when i get a chance to 🤍

and yeah, i have a really hard time picturing her as eurydice! but i think she'd be a great girl in once, if she ever did that!

tied together with a smile was my favoriteeeee. it just means so much to me as a song, and i'm so so glad i got to hear it! honestly i really lucked out with my songs — and i think everyone that i went with was really happy (my friend bailey loves ttwas too, my friend mansi got a reputation song night 1 — this is why we can't have nice things, etc.)! just very special! very lovely evening. i'd loveeee to hear mirrorball, or anything debut though. i'm really just manifesting something from debut for my mom :")

and no worries about replying either!! 🤍 take your time, i know you're busy + things are goin on! happy monday + hope you have a good rest of the year friend!!

[be0mcore]

hi!! can i ask to write hcs ride in the motorhome with txt? it would be interesting to read! thanks in advance, good luck and inspiration!! ♡ (sorry, my english is bad)

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ camping with txt

notes: hi anon! sorry for taking so long, ty so so so much for being so patient with me! i've written it as a camping trip as it was easier to write the hcs ahaha. tysm ur so lovely!! <3

genre: fluff, crack

tw: none

❥˗ˏˋyeonjun ´ˎ˗

◦ mother has arrived

◦ he's so so excited but also so so concerned

◦ like we'll only be gone for 3 days y/n why do we need two tubs of icecream?

◦ at the same time he tries to hide his bag full of ramyeon

◦ starts preparing at least a week in advance

◦ has a whole list of campervans to choose from, and has analysed each and every one

◦ you have to remind him you're living on a $20 budget so your choices are kinda limited buddy

◦ he's so excited that you're camping in a van, it means he can still wear his pretty outfits

◦ the drive there is super relaxing

◦ although mans had to fight tooth and nail for the aux chord

◦ he plays the spotify playlist y'all made together so cute

◦ has one hand on the steering wheel, other hand on your inner thigh

◦ he's very tempted to start doing something frisky but remembers that he's literally driving a moving vehicle

◦ we must stay focused brothers we must stay focused

◦ you guys decide to park the van in a cute little camping ground in the forest

◦ he takes hundreds of photos of you

◦ but then makes you take thousands of him poor y/n

◦ is extremely romantic the whole time

◦ fairy lights, soft music, warm meals, fuzzy blankets,,, he really gave you the premium experience

◦ and he gets his opportunity to be frisky afterwards too ;)

❥˗ˏˋsoobin´ˎ˗

◦ mother pt 2

◦ although he's a bit more stressed than yeonjun someone give this man a break

◦ he's superrrr organised and has lists of everything you need

◦ is honestly excited but can't show it because he's too preoccupied with feeling stressed

◦ you gotta calm him down at one point like bro its okay

◦ everything has to be perfect!!

◦ he decides that you guys are gonna be parked at a beach

◦ even though he can’t swim mans did not think that one through

◦ the ride there he is so nervous. do we have everything? did we forget anything?

◦ when you get there you wanna go straight in the water

◦ as soon as he sees you in your bathers he starts malfunctioning

◦ no thoughts head empty just you half naked

◦ you're having a blast in the water while soobin is just like,,,, drowning

◦ you pretend to give him CPR, which is just an excuse to give him a little smooch

◦ he ain't complaining though ;)

❥˗ˏˋbeomgyu´ˎ˗

◦ oh my goodness girl good luck with this one

◦ he's SO EXCITED

◦ like it's the only thing he's been thinking of in the past few days

◦ somehow convinced you to rent an RV and park it in the woods

◦ not even in an official camp ground either, but literally in the middle of nowhere

◦ you've seen wayyyy too many horror movies so you're like lowkey thinking he's gonna murder you or smth

◦ but he swears he isn't, he just wants the authentic camping experience sure buddy

◦ even though he's super excited, he won't start packing until 3 hours before you leave

◦ you're like bro. seriously.

◦ the ride there is absolute chaos

◦ he insists on driving because he's a 'gentleman'

◦ ends up getting pulled over for driving too slow

◦ you have to take the wheel, and you bet your ass he's gonna try annoy you on the way there

◦ when you get to the campsite he's just absolutely overjoyed

◦ insists on building a campfire even though the RV literally has a stovetop

◦ you don't wanna burn down the entire forest so you initially say no

◦ but beomgyu really wants to make smores and go stargazing

◦ so you're like "fineee but i'm in the charge of the fire"

◦ overall camping with beomgyu is very fun but very chaotic

❥˗ˏˋtaehyun´ˎ˗

◦ omg this mf

◦ he's ready to go full bear grylls

◦ is sorta confused as to why you're renting an RV like,,,, you scared of some dirt y/n??

◦ but because it makes you happy he obliges

◦ he's honestly pretty relaxed when it comes to packing. brings like one backpack and you're like???? you gotta bring more than just underwear tae

◦ and he's like no y/n i've got this

◦ you think he's lowkey losing it but just like beomgyu mans wants that authentic camping experience

◦ probably jokes about hunting your own food as well

◦ you find it funny but in all honestly he was only half-joking

◦ he calls dibs on the drivers seat

◦ no music, only taehyun mentioning cool facts

◦ which is music to your ears anyways

◦ the entire camping trip taehyun is prepped for survival

◦ but as soon as night comes he gets scared and starts snuggling up to you

◦ like wow ok who's the scaredy cat now huh?

◦ he swears he's not complaining but you pepper his face with kisses anyways

◦ and he's defs not complaining

❥˗ˏˋkai´ˎ˗

◦ so excited he's practically bouncing off the walls

◦ i mean cmon,,, three days away from txt while hanging out with his favourite person? hell yes.

◦ overpacks like crazy. i mean its better to have something you don't need than need something you don't have, right?

◦ you guys end up leaving two hours later than planned because kai couldn't figure out what plush he wanted to take

◦ he finds the RV so cool. like y/n there's a whole stove in here???

◦ honestly won't even leave the RV. it's his home now.

◦ you guys decide to go on a mini roadtrip. and boy is he excited.

◦ the entire drive is just kai screaming

◦ you switch from listening to music to laughing about something to arguing about who would survive in squid game

◦ you guys take snack breaks like every ten minutes. its not your fault you brought the entire snack cupboard with you.

◦ when you finally reach your destination, kai practically jumps on top of you

◦ cmon y/n its been like 5 hours without cuddles

◦ he needs to recharge for like an hour or so and then he's good to go

◦ you guys do a whole movie night in the RV

◦ it's a little cramped and kai's long legs keep falling off the bed, but its still perfect

◦ he insists on watching a horror movie

◦ you both end up absolutely petrified by the end of the movie

◦ when its time to go to sleep y'all are literally wrapped up as one

◦ but honestly you wouldn't have it any other way

[jikookiekosmos]

Use My Best Colors For Your Portrait || jjk

➥Pairing: best friend!jungkook/reader, boyfriend!jungkook/reader, artist!jungkook

➥Summary: After surprising Jungkook with his own studio room for his paintings, he couldn’t be any more over the moon. All’s well and good until he’s struggling to find inspiration...which you happily provide him with. He’s ecstatic to find his muse in you, and painting your portrait brings him so much joy. Things take a turn however, when he suddenly realizes what else he wants to paint.

➥Genre: established relationship, tiny bit of angst if you squint, fluff, smut

➥Rating: 18+

➥Words: ~7.9k (small drabbles don’t exist for me apparently, oops)

➥Content warnings: most of this at the beginning is just cute fluff domestic times (finally not much angst!), blonde jungkook, jk ties his hair up at some point (my weakness), jk puts paints on the reader, making out, slight hair pulling, cursing, shower sex times, jungkook has a big dick, oral (m. receiving), very slight mouth fucking, dirty talk, fingering (very brief), unprotected sex (safe sex is great sex), biting, cumming inside, cute times in the shower, jungkook is actually the sweetest, reader and jk are so in love with each other it hurts, also jk saying ‘only for you’ is a thing i started and can’t stop now oops

A/N: hello! This is part of my Only for You (OFY) Drabble series, but it can be read as a stand-alone! Their relationship will make a lot more sense though if you’ve read OFY beforehand. This fic takes place roughly around six months after the events of OFY (so in between that and the dream drabble I also posted).

Once again, thank you to @dntaewithluv​ for her endless support and always giving me feedback, I forever appreciate you and your friendship is more than I could ever ask for 💜

I’ve written a few other drabbles and will list them below, along with a general timeline:

When I Dream of You - ~1 year after OFY

Stay With Me - a few months after the dream drabble

Also, I hope that if you read this, you enjoy it~

➥OFY Spotify Playlist (songs I listened to for inspo)

➥Series Masterlist

➥All Works Masterlist

taglist: @inlovewiththemoonn​

⊱──────── ✬ ✬ ✬ ────────⊰

You would do absolutely anything in the world for Jeon Jungkook.

Seeing him happy had to be at the top of your list of favorite things in the world, as it had been for many years as his best friend, and now in the several months since the two of you started dating. Some things just never changed, you guessed.

Which is why you took it upon yourself to change one of the spare rooms in the house you two were renting into a space where he could thrive as the artist he was. Initially, the two of you thought it would be nice to use that space as a work area for you, since your job required you to sometimes do work from home. And for a little while, that’s exactly what you did.

But ever since you found out Jungkook liked to paint – scratch that, he loved to paint, and had been doing so for longer than you thought – the gears started turning in your head.

The current space he was using to create his art was definitely less than ideal. The house had a decent sized garage area, so there was enough room for him to store his supplies and be able to paint without it being too much of an issue. The downside, though, was it was cramped and even though Jungkook said he didn’t mind it, you still couldn’t help the frown from masking your features whenever you saw him huddled up so close to his easel.

For the last few weeks, and with lots of help from internet searches, you’d been slowly converting your space into something like a studio. You didn’t have to worry about Jungkook finding out, either, since he very rarely went into that room seeing as he had no reason to. He respected your privacy the same as you respected his, so this made everything infinitely easier for you in the long run.

The day had finally arrived where you would show the new space to Jungkook. Everything was set up as perfect as you could manage it – at least you hoped so – and you were dying of excitement to show him as soon as possible.

You were also, however, incredibly nervous at the same time. What if he didn’t like it? Even worse, what if he hated it?

Of course, you knew deep down that there was no way Jungkook could hate anything you ever did, unless it was something horrible, but you worried about everything because that’s just how you were. So, when the two of you were sitting at the dinner table one night, you tried hard to swallow the lump in your throat as you listened to Jungkook talk about his newest work.

“I really think you’re gonna like how this one turns out, angel.” Jungkook was offering you a sweet smile as he went to grab another bite of food from his plate. You managed to smile back, despite the hammering of your heart against your chest. He was basically handing you the perfect opening for you to segue the conversation!

“I know I’ll love it, Koo.” You watched as his small smile turned into a full grin, his nose scrunching up in that adorable way that had you falling in love with him all over again every time you saw it.

“Speaking of your paintings,” you started off, clearing your throat while he swallowed down his food. He looked at you with his undivided attention and it made your heart skip a beat.

Ok let’s be real, every damn thing this man did made your heart skip a beat.

“Yeah? What about them?” He twirled more of the noodles around his fork while he waited on your answer.

You gulped. “Wouldn’t you like it if you had more space?”

Jungkook chuckled and placed his fork down, shaking his head as he placed on hand on top of yours that was still resting by your plate. You’d barely touched your food and he noticed.

“Baby,” he started, “as much as I would love to have a bigger space, what I have now is just fine. I know you think it’s stifling my creativity in there, but I’m still creating things and am comfortable.” He squeezed you hand gently before returning to his food.

“I get that you think the garage is fine but what if I told you that- that you could have a bigger workspace.” You finally picked up your fork and were poking around at your own food now, avoiding his gaze. You could feel his stare boring into you regardless, though.

“I mean – yeah, hypothetically I could have more space, but it’s not in the cards for us right now and that’s ok, too. Maybe one day.”

The way he always was optimistic about your future together made you feel warm all over. Jungkook liked to look on the bright side of every situation, and it’s been enough to help you keep your own wits about yourself numerous times now.

But this time you wanted to show him that the future could be closer than he realized.

“Koo, can you come with me real quick? I have something I want to show you.”

You didn’t miss the confused look that flashed across his face for a second before his calm demeanor took over again.

“Of course.” He hopped up from the table, that smile you adored now plastered on his face. “Lead the way.”

“Ok but I also need you to close your eyes.” You reached out to take his hand and were rewarded with an eyebrow raise.

He hummed thoughtfully but did as you asked, closing his eyes and grasping your hand tighter so you could lead him wherever you planned to.

You walked through the house pulling him behind you, feeling your heartbeat quicken with every step to where its pace was almost concerning. Whether or not it was mostly from excitement or nervousness, you weren’t sure.

You finally reached your destination and let go of his hand so you could open the door.

“Keep your eyes closed, ok,” you asked. Jungkook simply nodded and you saw a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. He had no idea what you were about to show him, but knowing you and how much he loved pretty much anything you did, he was sure it’d probably make him happy.

And he couldn’t have been more correct in his assumption.

At the quiet sound of you telling him he could open his eyes he did so, slowly at first, blinking to adjust to the light the now flooded over the both of you. It took him several seconds to register exactly what he was seeing, and when he did he couldn’t speak. All he could do was stare around the room, mouth agape.

Decorating the walls were the paintings he had given you, beautiful works of various sizes and themes. Alongside the far wall was a tall shelf that housed all his supplies (how had you managed to get them past him without him noticing?), and even some new things like paints he’d been eyeing for a while and other tools he hadn’t had a chance to get himself yet.

But in the middle of the room stood his easel and chair, set up in the similar fashion as it had been in the garage. His apron was draped across the back of the chair, and there was even tarp laid out underneath the workspace. You research had paid off because everything was set up in such a way that it created the perfect atmosphere for Jungkook’s creativity to shine through in ways it hadn’t been able to before.

You weren’t aware of this yet, however, because you were still watching Jungkook’s reaction. He still hadn’t said anything, and as you pulled your bottom lip between your teeth, you started to wonder if this was the right call-

Strong arms were pulling you up from the ground and spinning you around before you could process it, making you squeal with delight as Jungkook twirled you before bringing you back down to pepper kisses all over you face.

“Angel, I can’t believe this, you did all this for me?” He was still holding onto your hips tightly, beaming as he looked down at you. Your nod and giggle was all the confirmation he needed before he pulled you into another kiss, this one slightly more heated than the ones before.

“Do you like it,” you questioned when the both of you pulled away to breathe. Jungkook laughed before taking your face in his hands and brushing his nose along yours.

“Do I like it? Baby, I love it. It’s perfect! Thank you so much.” Another kiss. “I love it and I love you, I love you so fucking much.”

His happiness made your heart soar and you definitely knew that you’d do something like this an infinite amount of times if it meant he’d keep that smile on his face.

⊱──────── ✬ ✬ ✬ ────────⊰

A few weeks passed by and Jungkook had been using his new studio nearly everyday at this point. His creations had been increasing in numbers and he was starting to receive commissions from others thanks to his small online shop he’d set up with your help. He still worked at the bar as his primary job, but he was also grateful to have a hobby on the side that could potentially yield something lucrative.

Of course, Jungkook’s increase in his time spent on his art still didn’t take away from his time with you. If anything, it gave the both of you another way to spend time together, since now there was enough space for you to sit in and observe him paint when you couldn’t before. You often sat quietly and either did some of your own work or engaged in your own hobbies while he painted, and it was always peaceful.

There came a day, though, that you never thought you’d experience: Jungkook had run out of inspiration. He’d hit his first real artist’s block and it was taking a bigger toll on him than he would’ve liked.

You rubbed his shoulders as he sat in front of his easel one night, groaning in frustration about his current work. “It’s not turning out at all like I want it to. I’ve been struggling with finding new inspiration and it clearly shows in whatever this is.” He vaguely gestured to the canvas, prompting you to place a kiss on his cheek as you ran your hand through his pretty blonde hair. You knew that always helped to calm him down and this case was no exception.

Jungkook sighed heavily, turning to place a kiss on your palm that was still lingering around his face. “Sorry, I don’t mean to get worked up. It just sucks, you know? I’d been on this really good streak of creating things and now I just…can’t. It’s weird and I don’t like it.” He pouted slightly and the sight made you giggle.

“I know, baby, but you’ll figure something out. You always do.” You placed a kiss on top of his head before you walked around to sit on his lap. You wrapped your arms around his neck and one of his hands cradled your waist to steady you.

He was humming thoughtfully as he looked you up and down, your hands now playing with the hair at the nape of his neck.

“What are you thinking about?”

He smiled slyly. “You.”

You rolled you eyes before returning the smile. “Ok, what about me? I’m curious.”

His hand was rubbing up and down your side. “Nothing in particular, just usually looking at you can help me with inspiration.”

His confession made you gasp. “Really?”

He nodded and smiled wider. “Really. You inspire me a lot.” He placed a chaste kiss on your lips before sighing again. “This time though it’s not really working like I’d hoped.”

You watched his eyes close and his brows furrow before an idea popped into your head. “Hey,” you reached down to tilt his chin up so he’d look at you, “It might be a long shot, but: have you ever considered painting portraits?”

He pursed his lips as he thought about it. The simple act made you want to kiss him but now wasn’t the time.

“Honestly…no. I’ve never thought about it before because I usually prefer to paint scenery.”

You searched his eyes as you asked your next question. “Well, if you want to try, maybe you could paint me? Even if it doesn’t go anywhere, maybe it can help spark a new idea or something?”

You watched as his eyes slowly lit up at your suggestion, his face morphing into a smile that you mirrored.

“That’s a great idea! It’s something new and it also includes you, so I already love it.” You chuckled in his lap as he hugged you closer, placing a small kiss on your neck. “Thank you.”

You ran your hands through his hair again before leaning back. “Anything for you. Do you want to start now?”

He thought about it for a moment before nodding. “Yeah, we can do that. Is there, uh – was there something specific you wanted to wear for it?”

You wiggled your eyebrows suggestively. “Are you suggesting you want to paint a nude portrait?”

Even though Jungkook knew your body better than you did at this point, your words still managed to make him blush as he groaned. “No, I wasn’t thinking that- not that I’d mind of course just you know, whatever makes you comfortable-”

You laughed at his flustered nature before hopping off his lap. “You’re so cute. I’ll go find something to change into, it shouldn’t take long.”

“R-right,” he stuttered, still clearly somewhat affected by what you had said. You shook your head with amusement as you went to your bedroom to find something to wear. You settled for a purple dress that you knew Jungkook loved, and considering a lot of his paintings involved shades of purple and blue, you figured it would be perfect.

You knew you made the right choice when you stepped back into the room and saw Jungkook’s face when his eyes fell on you. He looked like he’d never seen someone so beautiful (he looked at you like that a lot and it always did something to you) and your lips curled upwards into a smile before you could realize it.

You stopped in the doorway and twirled, giving him a full view of the dress. “Is this ok?”

You already knew the answer, but it was always nice to hear him say it.

He cleared his throat and ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah, it’s perfect. You can, uh, you can take a seat whenever you’re ready.”

While you were changing, Jungkook had pulled one of the loveseats from the living room into the space so you’d have somewhere to sit or lay while he painted you. The loveseat was a dark blue color and it contrasted beautifully against the color of your dress. You decided to lay on it in a comfortable pose, and you couldn’t help the small giggle you let out at Jungkook’s reaction to your choice.

You had laid an arm behind your head, turning your face so you were looking at him while the rest of your body was sprawled out on the loveseat. One of your legs dangled over the side, making the skirt of your dress hike up somewhat. You were very comfortable, and Jungkook was very happy with your pose.

“Make it pretty, ok,” you joked with him. He smirked at your comment.

“You know I will. I’ll use my best colors, just for you.”

“Wow, I feel special,” you quipped back. You were rewarded with the sound of his beautiful laughter as it echoed off the walls.

“You’re the most special,” he admitted honestly. You gave him a brilliant smile and he felt his heart stutter.

With the way you were looking at him, Jungkook thought that if he didn’t start painting, he may never start. So, he forced himself to tear his eyes away from you so he could find the paints he needed to get started. He tied up his hair, a few of the blonde strands escaped and framed his face but he didn’t seem to mind it too much as he got to work.

Thankfully, since you’d chosen a good position, the process was easier than you thought it would be. You just had to lie there and watch him work, which you happily did. You enjoyed watching his face scrunch up in concentration before relaxing again as he brushed stroke after stroke onto the canvas.

You were so beyond proud of him that it made your heart swell inside your chest.

Jungkook had been painting for a little over half an hour before he announced it was time to take a break. He could paint for hours on end without stopping, but that was when he didn’t have a live subject he was working with. He walked over to you with a bottle of water so you could sip from it without having to disturb your position too much.

You sat up slightly so you could drink, and while you did so, one of your dress straps started falling down your arm. Jungkook immediately went to move it back into place, but as he did, he couldn’t help but stare at the dark contrast of the purple satin against your skin. He thought it was so pretty, and his mind started wandering to how the paint itself might look-

He shook his head to rid himself of the thought. He may have been covered in paint himself, but that didn’t mean he needed to go putting paint on you.

When you were re-situated on the loveseat once more, Jungkook strolled back over to this easel. Unfortunately, since that thought of you covered in paint first took up residence inside his head, he now found it hard to focus on anything else. While he stared at you to try and resume your portrait, he just kept picturing you with painted streaks covering your skin instead.

You must have noticed he was distracted because soon you were calling over to him. “Kook? Is something wrong?”

He gulped and shook his head. “No, nothing’s wrong! You’re doing great, baby.”

“Do you need me some other way?”

Such a simple statement and yet it was stirring something inside of him. Asking him if he needed you a certain way ignited that desire to once again paint you and he found himself unable to hold back from asking anymore.

“Yeah, I uh, I wanted to try something.” You were confused when he got up and started walking toward you, only carrying his paint supplies. At first you thought maybe he just wanted to get closer, but he didn’t bring the easel with him.

“What are you wanting to try,” your voice was laced with curiosity. He gave you a shy smile.

“I was just thinking about how pretty it would be,” he looked down at the floor then back up at your face before he continued, “if I used you as a canvas instead.”

You felt your breath hitch in your throat at the request. Jungkook was asking to paint you, not paint you on a portrait, but to paint you. The suggestion intrigued you a lot more than you thought it would, which is ultimately what led to you nodding your agreement. “I think I’d like to try that, too.”

Jungkook’s face broke into such a dazzling smile that excited you to no end. You watched as he pulled his chair close to you, as well as some tarp to place around the area. When he was situated where he wanted to be, he dipped his brush into some of the purple paint on his palette and gently lifted your arm. The feeling of the paint as it brushed along your arm was foreign but not unwelcome. There was something about it that was almost calming.

You were now also recalling all the times you’d told Jungkook how pretty he looked even covered in paint. The pretty colors contrasting with his beautiful, golden skin tone never failed to take your breath away no matter how many times you saw it. You wondered briefly if this is what he was experiencing now as he took his time painting your skin.

He was focusing on your with such intensity and taking great care to only get the paint where he wanted it, so as to not stain certain parts of you or your dress. The sight of his caution made that familiar warmth bloom in your chest again.

He took his time painting beautiful designs along your arm before moving down to paint on your thighs and legs. He was alternating between purple and blue hues now, and the swirling patterns reminded you a lot of his tattoos that you adored. You had spent many nights lying next to him in bed, tracing the lines of his tattoos until you were too sleepy to keep it up. Seeing the patterns against your own skin briefly made you think about if you would ever want to get a tattoo. Before you put too much thought into it, your attention was pulled back to Jungkook who was sitting up now and admiring his work.

The time had passed by much quicker than you anticipated, and it was starting to get dark outside as the light was no longer filtering in through the windows of the room.

He seemed satisfied as he nodded and smiled. “Wait here, I’ll be right back. Stay just like this,” he placed a gentle kiss on your forehead before leaving the room. When he returned, he had his coveted polaroid camera in his hands. Jungkook was also big into photography, and every one of his hobbies suited him perfectly in some way.

“Is it ok if I take a photo of you, baby?”

You grinned and nodded, being careful not to move too much from your current position. He snapped the photo and the polaroid was printing immediately after. When he pulled it from the camera, he laid it down on the table next to his easel so it could develop properly.

Jungkook wiped his hands off on his apron before taking it off and drawing his attention back to you. He could stare at you like this all day, but he knew it would probably be best to get you both cleaned up and paint-free.

He offered a hand for you so he could help pull you off the loveseat. When you were up fully, he wrapped his arms around you, careful to not get any of his exposed, paint-covered skin on your dress.

“You look so beautiful like this,” he murmured softly, brushing some of your hair out of your face as his eyes scanned up and down your body to admire his creation. “And as much as I love seeing it, we should probably get this paint off soon. When it dries too much, it can be a bitch to scrub off, and I don’t want that for you.”

You chuckled at that and simply nodded your head. You’d been lying there for nearly 2 hours at this point, so you were pretty tired and ready to just relax for the night.

The two of you hopped into the shower shortly after, helping each other rid your bodies of the remnants of paint covering you both. You always loved taking showers with Jungkook, because whether or not it was a short, regular shower, or one shared after a night of intimacy, these moments were some that you cherished the most and wouldn’t change for the world.

You got lost in the feeling of Jungkook scrubbing shampoo into your hair, letting out soft noises as your eyes slipped closed.

Your noises always threatened to drive Jungkook crazy, and this time was no exception. He couldn’t deny the stirring of his cock as he listened to the little moans slipping from your mouth at such a simple action.

Of course, since he was so close to you, there was no way you didn’t feel him. His cock was hardening against your thigh, and the fact that you were turning him on by not doing much turned you on.

You could feel the wetness start to slip past your folds, but you decided to not make any moves yet, wondering how far you could take this before either of you snapped. You knew that teasing him was one of the quickest ways to get Jungkook riled up.

“Feels so good, Koo,” you shamelessly moaned out as he kept massaging the shampoo into your hair. You heard him let out a small grunt at your deliberate words, feeling him twitch against your thigh as he got harder.

You leaned your head back to give him a better view of your neck, since you knew he loved to mark you up there. His hands were starting to tangle in your hair, but he took care to not pull too hard as he brought his attention back to the task(s) at hand.

He was currently focusing on two things: 1) getting the rest of the shampoo out of your hair, and 2) not fucking you up against the shower wall. Doing the first thing was currently keeping him from acting on the second, but you certainly weren’t helping with that.

Your head lolled around on your neck, your eyes still closed as your sounds got louder. He knew you were messing with him now, so as retaliation he pulled on your hair a little tighter, making you gasp.

“You’re doing this on purpose, angel,” you could hear the dark tone of his voice over the waterfall in the shower clearly, and it just made you more aroused. You chanced opening your eyes to look at him, and the sight you were met with made you moan louder, this time without trying.

Jungkook was staring at you, mouth slightly parted as he let out pants of his own, his blonde, soaked tresses falling in his face and covering his eyes. His tongue darted out to lick his lips as he tugged on your hair again, making you reach out to place your hands on his chest.

“You’re teasing me to get me worked up, hm?” All you could do was nod, his husky voice and the feeling of his hand wrapped in your hair making you wetter by the second. There was no use in playing coy any longer. You wanted him, and he wanted you.

The question now was: who would make the first move?

You realized that you wanted to be the one to make the first move, so you did.

“So, what if I am,” you asked sweetly, wrapping your hand around his length and pumping him slowly. His eyes closed and he leaned his forehead against your shoulder, fingers now digging into your waist.

“You know what happens when you do that,” Jungkook warned. You absolutely knew what happened, and you definitely wanted it to happen.

“Hmm, I don’t know, maybe you should enlighten me.” You teased him as you gently nibbled on his earlobe, increasing your pace as you continued to stroke him. You heard him let out a soft moan against your shoulder as he placed a kiss there.

With no more hesitation, you turned him slightly and sank down to your knees in front of him, delighted by how his cock jerked in your hold when you steadied it with your hand.

Jungkook stared at you wide-eyed as you started moving your hand around his shaft before placing a gentle kiss on his tip, the prettiest groan falling from his lips. “Fuck, Y/N, are you sure you want to do this?”

You peeked up at him as you fluttered your eyelashes, knowing that seeing you like this always aroused him beyond belief. You continued moving your hand in slow, languid strokes, and he was almost fully hard now.

He let his head hit the wall behind him, soft curses and praises for you tumbling from his mouth. 

Seeing him like this had to be near the top of the list of your favorite sights to ever witness. And right then is when you figured it’d be the perfect time to surprise him. Without a warning you opened your mouth and took all of him in that you could reach.

Jungkook’s reaction was immediate.

“Hey wait what are y- oh my God, fuck.” His loud moan echoed off the walls of the room, causing a fresh wave of arousal to pool between your thighs. You sucked harder as you hollowed out your cheeks, ignoring the way your throat constricted around him.

“Y/N, shit, you feel so good, your mouth- fuck, angel, I don’t want to hurt you,” Jungkook was panting hard above you, eyes shut and brows furrowed, jaw slack as he unabashedly continued to moan at your actions. He was reaching behind him to try and hold something, but the smooth wall had nothing to offer him. His fingers were slipping against the tile, so he gave up and instead settled for clenching and unclenching his fists.

You pulled off him with a pop, a string of saliva left in your wake. You smiled up at him as you kept stroking him, not wanting his pleasure to disappear in the slightest.

“You won’t hurt me, Koo,” you reassured him, earning another groan from the man falling apart under your touch. He twitched in your hold, and you stuck your tongue out again to run it along the underside of his length. 

Jungkook chanced looking down at you, only to look up at the ceiling a moment later while he muttered a strained “holy shit.” 

“C’mon baby, don’t you want to look at me,” you taunted him as your tongue played with the head of his cock, swirling around him. The low groans coming from above you let you know that he enjoyed that a lot.

“Fuck, angel, I-” Jungkook’s sentence died as a moan ripped itself from his throat when you surged back down to take all of him in again. This time you continued moving, feeling the tears in the corners of your eyes but not stopping.

It wasn’t like you’d never sucked him off like this before, seeing as it was one of your favorite activities, after all. But it was a rare occasion where Jungkook would let you take all of him in one go for fear of hurting you. So, you took these chances whenever they presented themselves, and the reward was always, always worth it.

Tears along with the water droplets from the shower were coating your face but you didn’t care. All of your focus was on Jungkook and how he was trying so hard to restrain himself above you. You watched his fists clench and unclench and you could feel himself struggle to keep his hips from moving forward so he didn’t fuck your mouth.

Yeah, you weren’t having that. You wanted him to let go, wanted him to know that it was ok, that you wanted this. You reached out to grab one of his hands and placed it in your hair, relishing in the way his fingers immediately tangled themselves into the wet strands. You pulled your mouth off of him again, but not before letting your tongue drag slowly across every inch of him.

You looked up at him again as you pumped him leisurely, waiting until he brought his gaze down to stare at you, only for him to quickly close his eyes again.

“God, I can’t look at you, like I want to, fuck do I want to, but you look so fucking good like this, I’m not gonna last-”

You always found his stammering to be cute and you didn’t want to torture him too much longer. Deciding that you’d teased him enough, you took all of him into your mouth again, intertwining your fingers with his unoccupied hand and giving it a squeeze. The intimacy of this particular action was always enough to get both of you going, and it had Jungkook’s hips stuttering as you sucked hard.

“Fuck, baby, always take me so good like this. Always so good for me, I love you, fuck,” he was groaning as his head hit the wall behind him again, his hold in your hair tightening the same moment you felt him buck his hips like you’d been wanting all this time.

Unfortunately, for you, whenever Jungkook would fuck your mouth, no matter how much you wanted to sit there and take it without issue, his size always proved to be too big for you to handle and it had you coughing around his length in no time. Which, of course, always made Jungkook stop what he was doing before either of you had the chance to enjoy it much.

“Fuck, baby, I’m so sorry, are you ok?” Jungkook pulled you up while you kept coughing, brushing the wet strands of hair out of your face and looking at you with worry. You nodded and tried to reassure him, wanting to get back on your knees for him, but he held you in place.

“You don’t want me to continue,” you asked, your voice a little more hoarse than usual thanks to what your throat had just endured.

Jungkook shook his head. “No, angel, it’s not that. If you do keep going, I’ll cum in no time.” He brushed some of the water away from under your eyes, not knowing if it was tears or from the shower. He bent down to place a rough kiss on your lips, such a contrast from how his hands caressed your face.

“I want to be inside of you when that happens,” he murmured against you, gently biting down on your bottom lip and pulling a whine from you, in turn causing more wetness to gush between your legs. “If you’ll let me, of course.”

You almost laughed. “Koo, you know I’ll let you do anything at this point.”

He chuckled. “That’s a dangerous admission, baby. You sure about that?”

You nodded, wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him closer. “Of course I’m sure. I’d let you do anything you want because I trust you. Because I love you,” it was your turn to kiss him this time, and it was filled with so much passion it nearly made him dizzy. Jungkook could never get tired of the feeling of your lips against his, of hearing you say that you loved him, of feeling your skin pressed against each other during times like these.

Jungkook was hooked on you and he never wanted to go back to a time where he wasn’t.

You pulled him out of his thoughts as you tugged on some of his hair, earning a delicious sounding grunt from him. You whispered your next snarky comment right by his ear.

“You gonna fuck me now, baby?”

Your bluntness had his cock quickly stirring back to life after it had softened some during your coughing incident. He growled low and dark as he started placing love bites on your collarbone.

“Sure you don’t want me to return the favor first, angel?” He was marking up your skin while he asked this, so you almost didn’t realize what he was asking specifically but then it dawned on you.

“As much I love seeing you with your head between my legs,” you responded, tugging on his hair again, “I’d rather have you fuck me up against this wall.”

He moaned against your collarbone, the action vibrating your skin. He pulled off of you and brought your lips to his in a filthy kiss. “Your wish is my command.”

Jungkook lifted you up then by placing his hands under your ass and you got the message, wrapping your legs around him as he held you up. He turned so your back was against the wall, the only things now holding you up being his strong arms and the smooth tile behind you.

He first plunged two fingers inside you without a warning, making you let out a silent scream. He smirked at the way you clenched around his fingers, scissoring them before pulling them out again. You whined at the loss and he shushed you with a gentle kiss on your nose.

“Had to make sure you’re ready, baby.” He had one arm wrapped around your waist, trapped in between your back and the shower wall. With his now free hand, he lined himself up with your entrance, moaning when the tip of his cock was sucked in by your velvety walls.

“Fuck, you already feel so good and I’m barely in yet,” he clenched his jaw as he sank further into you inch by inch. When he finally bottomed out and was filling you up in the best way possible, you clenched around him to tease him further, making him curse.

“Watch it, angel,” he growled. “You’re gonna make it very hard for me to not blow it if you keep doing that, and I want you there with me when I do.”

“Then I guess you’d better start moving,” you teased, wrapping your arms more tightly around his neck. You knew what was coming next; Jungkook would put you exactly in your place, just like you wanted. And for that you needed to hold on tight for dear life because that man could rock you like nothing ever had before.

Jungkook grabbed your hips firmly in his hold as he fucked up into you, making sure you were held against the wall and weren’t in danger of falling down as he did so. Despite this, each thrust had you sliding more up the wall until he would bring you back down again. When he found a pace that was he was sure he could resume without either of you getting hurt, he finally let go.

To say you saw stars would be an understatement. Jungkook was fucking you with so much vigor that you weren’t just seeing stars, you were sure you were seeing entire galaxies. Your sounds kept dying out on your tongue because the feeling was so overwhelming and it had your trembling around him in no time.

“Can’t make any sounds when I’m fucking you this good, angel?” Jungkook was taunting you now and quite frankly, he was right, he was fucking you so good that you were finding it hard to say anything. And the mixture of his dirty words with the sweet pet name you adored had you clenching even tighter around him, causing him to groan loudly and grip your waist tighter.

You eventually found your voice again when Jungkook hit a certain spot inside of you, pulling an embarrassingly loud whine from your throat. You buried your face in the crook of his neck, tears almost brimming in your eyes once again at how good he felt.

“Fuck, Jungkook, feels so good, oh my God-” your praises made him twitch inside you as he moved his hands now from your waist to hold you up by cupping your ass, squeezing tightly in time with his thrusts. He was bouncing you up and down on his cock now with his strength alone, and the thought of it made your orgasm start to approach at an alarmingly fast rate.

“I love feeling you so close like this, I love you, so fucking much, shit-” Jungkook cut himself off as threw his head back to get his hair out of his face, careful not to let his balance falter or his grip slip on you. He had to do it though because his hair was keeping him from seeing your face now that you were leaning your head back against the wall, and he couldn’t have that.

“I love you, Jungkook, I’m close, fuck,” you were breathing hard as you couldn’t control your moans any longer, eyes squeezed shut and tears falling from just how much pleasure you were receiving and also how much you loved this man. Jungkook was the man you’d loved for so many years before you were finally able to call him yours. He always took care of you in every aspect of life, and you reciprocated it as best you could. And it was because of this kind of love you two had for each other that made these intimate times all the more meaningful. You were sitting here, back up against a shower wall in the arms of the man you loved while he rearranged your guts, and it was such an emotional experience alongside being a pleasurable one that the tears actually made sense.

Jungkook bit down on your shoulder and pulled you out of your reverie, making you cry out as he muffled his own sounds against your skin. You could tell by his thrusts that he was getting close now, his grunts happening more frequently and louder, echoing off the tiled shower walls. The water had already started to get cold but neither of you cared. Nothing outside of the two of you existed in this moment, and that was exactly how you liked it.

“Touch yourself for me, baby, I’m close, want you to be there with me,” Jungkook breathed out, his grip on your ass harsher now and you were sure there’d be marks tomorrow. You loved it when he marked you up, and even though he always felt slightly bad about it, you knew Jungkook loved seeing the marks, too.

You obeyed his command and reached down to rub your clit, nearly shrieking at the new wave of pleasure that washed over you. The sensations on your clit, his cock hitting that perfect spot inside of you, the way he was holding you, and all the things he was saying to you was enough to finally push you over the edge.

“Jungkook, I’m cumming, fuck-” you barely had time to utter out your warning before you were cumming hard around his length, your body spasming as he held you through it.

He sped up then, chasing his own high now, the feeling of your walls clenching around him making his eyes roll back. “Fuck, I can feel you, always so perfect for me, I’m close-”

His eyes were closed now so he didn’t see you reach for him. You pulled him closer so you could kiss him, hoping to help him along this way, swallowing down every beautiful sound he was making. “C’mon Koo, cum for me, wanna feel you fill me up.”

“Fuuuuck,” he moaned out, loud and long as that was the last thing he needed to get him there. His hips stuttered a few more times before you felt him twitch and fill you up, just like you wanted. Because gravity was working against you due to your current position, you could feel some of it dripping out of you despite Jungkook still being inside of you. The feeling made you scrunch up your nose, and the action made Jungkook laugh and mumble out ‘cute’ as he placed a kiss on the tip of your nose.

He pulled out of you carefully before moving you away from the wall so he could set you down on your feet. Your legs were a little wobbly, so he let you brace yourself against him as he helped you clean up.

The water was nearing a very uncomfortable cold temperature, but the both of you would rather endure that than leave the shower without cleaning off completely. After the workout you both had, there was nothing more you wanted than to curl up with each other in the bed.

After helping each other get clean again, and stealing quite a few kisses while doing so, Jungkook helped you out of the shower since you still didn’t trust your legs and dried you off before taking care of himself. Your heart swelled at the sight of him as it always did when he would take care of you like this.

You just hoped that you were taking care of him in all the ways he needed as well. You were certainly trying your best and would continue to do so for the rest of your life.

Once you were both snuggled into bed, him with an arm under you and you with your face nuzzling against his chest, you broke the silence first.

“If that’s what happens when I let you put paint on me, we should do that more often.”

Jungkook, who was tracing invisible patterns on your back in between your shoulder blades, laughed so hard you shook along with him. When he finally calmed down, he was able to answer you. “I totally agree. Although, I don’t think that happened because I painted you. It happened because you-” he booped you on the nose “-teased me, knowing full well what happens when you do.”

You shrugged as best you could with his arms around you. “You love it, though.”

Jungkook chuckled. “Indeed I do.” He placed a kiss on the top of your head and resumed his earlier soothing tracing of patterns on your skin. You rested your cheek against his chest and could hear his heartbeat, slow and steady. The combined actions of his hands and the steady thrum of his heartbeat was enough to have slumber calling your name in a matter of minutes.

Jungkook had something more to say, however.

“Hey,” he called gently, making you look up at him with groggy eyes. He smiled at the sight. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For helping me. For being my muse. I’ve got more ideas now about what else to create, and I don’t think I could’ve gotten there without your help.”

You smiled at him before you placed your head down again and shut your eyes once more, breathing deeply. “You would’ve eventually. That’s just how you are. Maybe I sped up the process, but you would’ve done fine.”

“Perhaps,” he sighed and looked at the ceiling. His glance travelled down to look at your nearly sleeping form, laying on him calm and unbothered. Moments like these topped his list of favorite things, and he wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world.

“Goodnight, angel,” he murmured softly, not sure if you were asleep or not yet. You muttered something unintelligible back, but he knew you were telling him goodnight all the same, and it brought a smile to his face.

Jungkook wanted to tackle life with you, the good, the bad, all of it; he wanted to do it with you by his side. He wanted to make sure every day of your life from here on out was filled with happiness and love and everything you deserved in the world, just as you wanted to do the same for him. He knew you’d do anything for him, and he’d do anything for you.

Only for you.

[bts-teaspoonff]

Fangirl pt. 1

Genre: Romance, Slow Burn, Idol A/U

Pairing: BTS OT7 x reader

Rating: PG

Summary: Y/N, being a huge fangirl, finally got her chance to work alongside her favorite idol group as a backup dancer. She gets to know each member personally and realizes that her feelings may be more than fangirl-idol attraction.

Word Count: 3K

PARTS: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | .... masterlist

“It’s finally here!” I shouted as I bolted from my room towards the front door to greet the delivery man carrying my package. Even without looking at the mirror, I could feel my smile going up to my ears and my heartbeat furiously echoing through my chest. The delivery man handed me a medium sized box and stared at me as I reach out for the box with a huge smile plastered on my face. I signed the delivery form, closed the door and ran back inside my unit.

I ran to the living room and placed the box on the floor. I turned to my left and hurriedly rummaged for my cutter inside the drawer beside the sofa. I also took my phone on top of the said drawer and placed it on my lap. I swiftly sat down on the floor in front of my package with the cutter ready in my hand when I remembered something. I unlocked my phone and proceeded to video call my brother who’s at work. My brother’s name and his photo appeared on the screen as I wait for him to answer the call.

“Hey Y/N…” His face popped up on my screen. I silently giggled at the angle of his front camera when he answered the call. Not really flattering despite him being good looking. He must have placed the phone on a table directly below his face. “You know I’m at work right? Why did you call? Emergency?” I could hear keyboard sounds in the background. He must be busy typing on the computer as he didn’t bat an eye on his phone while talking to me.

“Yeah I know. I just wanted to share some good news” My camera is facing towards me with just my eyes peeking through screen. I was worried that maybe he’s with some people at work that might see me when he answers the video call and I’m not decent looking right now. “My package has arrived!” I low-key squealed as I pressed the ‘rotate camera’ button on the screen and directed the camera at the package. I could see my brother looking now at the phone. He placed his phone in front of him and leaned it on a stable surface for him to see me properly. He continued to type slowly on his keyboard as he steal glances on his phone screen.

“Don’t tell me…. You bought another merch?” He giggled as he looked at his phone screen and continued to type on his keyboard. He looked back at his computer screen after a second, with a smile on his face. I opened the package with my cutter on one hand and my phone on the other. Tearing through the tape, I can’t contain my excitement as i shrieked when my cutter got through the end of the tape. I released the cutter from my hand and pushed it aside.

“BTS Merch! Oh my god, I have been waiting for these for weeks. I got the latest album, more Tiny Tan figurines, and some concert goods from last tour.” I proceeded to open the box and showed my brother the contents. I felt accomplishment as I look at all the merchandise that has just arrived at home. My ARMY heart couldn’t contain the joy that I have right now. I shot my eyes back on the phone screen and saw my brother smiling as he looked at me through the phone screen.

“Hey, I’m happy you are happy but you know I work in Big Hit right? I work for them?” He stopped typing, took the phone back in his hands and brought the phone close to his face. “I could just easily buy these things for you with my employee discount.” And now his whole face is occupying my phone screen. 

“Jiyong, I know but where’s the fun in that? I want to buy these items using my own money. Well, an employee discount is nice but I don’t want to abuse your privilege as I buy too much of their merchandise.” I snorted at the fact that I really do buy too much of their merchandise. Besides, when I use his employee discount, the items are delivered directly to him as he works inside the Big Hit Building. With the amount of merchandise that I buy, I don’t want to embarrass him and label him as a big fanboy especially with him working so close to the boys.

“If you weren’t my twin sister, I would totally laugh at you. Not that I think you’re crazy but you’re…. loyal” He puts emphasis on the last word. He respects my deep profound respect for the 7 boys but he thinks that maybe I have gone too far with the purchases. He placed his phone back in front of him, leaning on a surface. “Oh before I forget, did you read my email?” I was taken aback with topic change but I’m used to it as he does this all the time. I pressed the ‘rotate camera’ button once again for him to see my face. 

“No, I haven’t opened my email yet. I went home so late last night. My last client in the gym arrived late so we finished late as well. A bummer.” I scoffed as I remembered the fatigue that enveloped my body yesterday. I work as a gym trainer/physical therapist full time and a dance teacher/choreographer as my sideline. I work at my friend’s gym located in the heart of Seoul as a gym trainer. I currently handle 7 clients, some who I have worked with for a few years already. I also teach dance classes at a small dance studio just a few blocks from where I live. Mainly, I handle BTS dance classes because duh, I am a full-blooded ARMY. I really tried to make my passion as a source of income and it warms my heart to see people having fun when I teach them those dances.

“Check it. Anyways, I gotta go. I still have a lot to do. As you know, the company is busy since BTS will be releasing another album sometime this year.” My brother currently works as a Recording Engineer in Big Hit. He used to brag to me that he’ll spend hours with BTS and TXT. I was jealous of course but I am so proud he’s working for them. Whenever I listen to songs from Big Hit artists, I try to think that he has contributed to a lot of songs despite not knowing what exact songs he has worked on. Another reason why I listen and support them.

We both said our farewells and dropped the call. As I took out all the contents of the package unto the floor, I used my phone on the other hand. I opened my mail and saw few unread emails. Some of them were from my subscriptions on Netflix and Spotify, which I barely read. On top of the list was my brother’s mail. I saw the subject “READ THIS FANGIRL!” and I laughed. Here I thought he sent me something urgent or important that needs my utmost attention. Must be another event or merchandise that they’ve yet to announce to the public.

I opened the mail and my eyes were glued to the first line of the message body.

“Big Hit is hiring backup dancers. See the forwarded email below, sis. I think they’re meaning to assign whoever they’ll hire as part of BTS dance team.” Did I just receive this email? It came from my brother so it must be true. He won’t prank me like that. If I apply, there’s no guarantee that I’ll be hired right? That’s too bad if I won’t be hired but there’s nothing to lose if I try to apply.

I left my package scattered throughout my floor and ran towards my laptop lying on my bed. I sat down on the floor beside my bed and opened my laptop. I felt like a kid but here I am, rushing to find my resume to apply for a new job that might eventually change my life.

….

It’s been a week since I applied as a backup dancer for Big Hit. I sent in my resume and a few videos of me dancing to some of their artists’ songs. I’m lucky to have known a lot of BTS’ songs and choreographies by heart and I might have tried to study some of their label mates’ songs as well. I haven’t received a reply back from them and I’m worried that I may not receive any response ever.

Apparently, BTS is known for having only male backup dancers as far as I know so it’s news to me that they’re hiring female backup dancers now. It got me thinking that this might also attract fellow fangirls like me to apply but knowing Big Hit, they wouldn’t want anything scandalous to happen just because they hired female backup dancers. I’m not saying that female dancers lack professionalism but how the boys are the top rank boy group in the country, female fans would be green with jealousy if they see female dancers dancing with them. Some Armies are really protective when it comes to the boys so it’s really shocking to hear that the company is finally considering this.

The day that I got the mail from my brother, I spent half of my day planning what dances to shoot and submit. I chose BTS’ Idol and Singularity, TXT’s Crown and a freestyle dance to Beyonce’s Yonce. I wanted to showcase my range in dancing by carefully choosing a variety of songs. I admit that the reason I may have applied to this job is partly because I’m a fangirl but nonetheless, my passion for dancing is bigger. I have been dancing since I was a kid but I was not this confident at the start. It’s hard to convince me to perform in front of a bigger audience, let alone a stadium full of fans. I slowly got over my fear little by little when I started teaching dance classes at the dance studio. The fear is still there and you may wonder why I am applying for this job when I’m scared shit in performing for a large audience. BTS taught me to love myself and I am really trying my best to go out of my comfort zone. I figured that this may be my best chance in doing so. Also, I get the benefit of working alongside them which is a big plus.

I couldn’t really focus on my job for the whole week. I find myself regularly checking my mail in the hopes of getting a response from Big Hit. 5 days and there’s still no mail. Maybe my email just went to their spam folder or maybe I typed in the wrong mail. On the 7th day while I was pulling out my clothes in the dryer, I heard a ping from my phone from across the hall. I left my phone on my bed and the laundry room is right beside my room. I noticed that the ping was my assigned tone for mails. I hurriedly took out all my warm dry clothes and unto the basket, closed the door of the dryer and turned the lights off in the laundry room.

“New Mail. Subject: Dance Team Application” I saw the notification banner and my heart just jumped out of my chest. I felt my forehead sweating profusely, fingers shaking and my throat closing up as I try to open my phone and check my mail. I silently and swiftly read the contents of the mail. After two seconds, I shrieked at the top of my lungs and threw my phone across my bed. I ran out of my room and in circles around the living room. Good thing I live alone so that I could just celebrate and make loud noises like this. I jumped up and down on the sofa while etching the image of the mail into my head. I buried my head on my pillows and shouted once more, emptying all the air out of my lungs.

I ran back into my room and read the mail again.

“Good day, Miss Y/N.

We have received your application and we are glad to say that we are impressed with your resume and skillset. We would like you to come in our office tomorrow so we can meet and talk personally with our dance team. We are glad to have you join our current dance team. Details of our meeting are expressed below.

Time: 10 am

Address: 42 Teheran-ro 108-gil, Daechi-dong, Gangnam-gu, Seoul, South Korea

Attire: Comfortable Casual

Please look for Mina at the front desk to escort you. Thank you.”

I still can’t believe what I’m seeing. Did I just got accepted? As a backup dancer? For Big Hit? Maybe for BTS? I’m such a lucky fangirl. I can’t wait for tomorrow.

….

It’s a good thing that my schedule is free today. I don’t have any clients in the gym scheduled for today and the dance studio is closed for today. I was so nervous and excited at the same time. I woke up at 6 am as I feel my jitters bothering my sleep. I tried to go back to sleep but I trashed the bed and rolled side to side for about 30 mins so I decided to go for a run. I turned on my Spotify and played my ‘Intense Run Playlist’ which mostly consists of high bpm BTS songs. There’s a jogging path near where I live and the scenery is filled with trees. Very calming, which I really need right now.

I arrived in front of the Big Hit Building around 8:30 am. I made sure to arrive early as I don’t want to be late for the meeting. I’m so anxious right now if I’m allowed to go up as early as 9 am or should I just arrived on time. I lingered outside and paced back and forth at a nearby shade. I wondered if I could visit my brother and stay with him for the mean time.

“Is she a stalker?” I heard whispers coming from my right as I slumped back at the pole where I’m taking shade just across the building. “That’s scary.” Three schoolgirls were standing a few meters away from me. They were staring and smirking at me. I wondered why they would think of me as such then I realized that I wore my hoodie up to cover half of my face.

“I’m not…”

“Good luck stalker-nim. You won’t get a glimpse of the boys.” They giggled and ogled me with judgmental looks with their arms across the chests. “Can you get away from the boys? We don’t want stalker armies like you.”

“As I said, I’m not a stalker and I’m older than you. Why are you talking to me in an informal tone?” I pull my hoodie off my head and slowly tread towards them. They laughed and ran away at the sight of me making my way to them. Sheesh, do I really look like a stalker?

I looked at my watch and it’s still 9:10 am. I guess I could try and visit my brother. The fresh morning air blew gently in my face, as if to welcome me, and be my merry playmate, and the sun looked at me with a warm and tender smile. What a nice start to my day, I thought. I put up my hoodie again and I was comfortable once more with the warmth my mere hoodie gave me.

“I have a meeting in your building today. Do you want to meet up? I’m not due until 10 am. – your adorable look alike” I texted my brother and inserted my phone back in my pocket. I breathed in the fresh breeze and not a second later, my phone pinged. I pulled out my phone to see my brother’s name on the screen.

“Lucky, I’m on a coffee break. I’ll be down in a sec.” he replied. A grin was present on my face as I stood up from where I was leaning. I skipped from across the street towards the building. I looked above at the sky and towards the top of the Big Hit Building and when I returned my gaze back in front of me, I was met by a dark haired man in his mid-twenties. I bumped into him and was knocked down at the side of the street. I exclaimed in pain as I rub my backside.

“Hey look where you’re go…” I looked up and immediately recognized the face. The man was wearing a grey Fear of God shirt paired with black baggy pants. His face was half covered by a black mask and his hair was kept away from his face with a black headband almost occupying his whole forehead.

“You should be the one watching you’re going. Crossing the street while prancing around like that.” He scoffed and continued to make his way towards the building. He didn’t even help me up. I sneered back.

“I’m sorry. I assure you that he’s not usually like this. He’s in a bad mood.” Two hands were suddenly around my elbows, propping me up from the ground. I turned my head and saw a woman around mid-twenties as well. She was carrying an opened big black bag propped on her right shoulder with filled with piles of unruly papers stuck inside. When I finally was able to stand up properly, she took off her hands from me and bowed in apology. She swiftly followed the man and shouted, “Yoongi, wait. I can explain.”

So I was right. It was Suga. All the images of a funny and loving Min Yoongi ran through my mind. Just like a scary movie, it was replaced by a disgusted look he shot at me a while ago. Did he…. Maybe he thought I was a stalker or something? I guess if I really looked like one then I don’t blame him for shooting those looks at me. However, a decent person would help anyone up in that situation.

I beat the dust off my hoodie and slowly treaded towards the building’s entrance. Not a really good way to start my first interaction with anyone from BTS, I thought.

Next part: 2

[roo-bastmoon]

I feel relaxed to see that you are not shipped them blindy and can also see the things which shows jk's two sided behaviour sometimes. Finally i can to talk someone who can think from both sides... postive and negative. He even sat on tae's lap at the concert..so he basically did things for both of the shippers y know. He talks about sugas that that and now hobis work too on seom chat but not a single time he mentions jimin ost...even if his vlive was full of comments for that and after that he doesn't remember where jimin got his 7 tattoo but he remember others. I don't know what to think about but the one is sure that jimin is still behaves the same with him like always...there is no big filter in jimin's behaviour tht shows u that jk and other members are same for him...but with jk..it's a little different case. And i don't like it sometimes.

Hey there, Nonie.

I promise to always look at all evidence, regardless of how it makes me feel. I’m not interested in deluding myself. There’s plenty of solid instances of Jikook over the years that we don’t need to make things up. But neither should we hold onto the past if the evidence is showing us something different now. So you can always talk to me about Jikook and I’ll give you my honest assessment.

I like to think what separates us from the cult is the ability to think critically and accept reality. And the reality is that something is a little off this year, compared to all the other years. We don’t know why, but a lot of us sense strained vibes.

During the most recent concerts and warm ups, JK kissed Hobi’s cheek, gave a long back hug to Yoongi, wrapped his arms around Joon’s waist in a long hug, played (carefully) with Jin, and also heavily flirted with Tae (twirling, shoe shine moment, lap sit). The first two days were painfully awkward between Jikook (to me). The third day was getting better. The last night—the night they filmed—he was all over Jimin and they did the bridal carry.

I’m not saying it was all for the cameras because I don’t think they are liars or fakes, but if they knew it was the last concert for several years, the maknae line probably wanted to give all their fans various “ship” moments. So I take what happens during a performance with a grain of salt. Not a huge indication of their real life relationship.

More telling is the way Jimin stayed behind while JK worked on the seom game design, or how happy JK was during the Vegas Vlive to say Jimin will be his boxing partner, or the way JK tapped Hobi’s shoulder and silently put him on the floor so he could sit on the couch next to Jimin, plus they stayed so close together while playing games in the arcade in DC. They still chose to orbit each other in free time…

As for talking about Jimin’s OST—keep in mind it was a YamYam production, not a Hybe one like Yoongi’s or Hobi’s. Not sure what the rules are around promotion of outside efforts. No one spoke of it; Tae played it and he knew the melody and lyrics by heart. But no one mentioned “Good job, Jimin! We support you!” And since that would take literal seconds on social media to do, I have to conclude not mentioning it was a conscious decision.

But what’s baffling is that Jimin never once mentioned or promoted With You—except to answer a question in his Weverse article explaining his friend wanted to do something like that with him for years. It has been two months and both Jimin and Sungwoon and everyone around them act like that song never happened. It’s first day was cut short, it wasn’t listed in the proper genre category, it didn’t have an official Spotify artist page or playlisting, it didn’t get much radio play… I have zero clue why. Very off.

It did shake me that JK said he didn’t know Jimin’s solo songs or 7 tattoo placement. Some fans insist he was teasing/deflecting but I hesitate to make assumptions just because I find them more comforting than simply holding the fact in my mind, waiting for more clarification. Taken at his word, JK doesn’t know THE most intimate details of Jimin’s life right now, so that implies distance—physical and emotional.

There seem to be murmurs on K forums that since festa dinner, Jikook have been out to dinner and affectionate with each other, but no proof makes it hearsay. I don’t speak Korean so I’m getting those rumors third-hand.

I think given nine years of intimacy plus an INSANE first half of 2022, I have to withhold judgment about Jikook right now. I’m leaning towards they are fine and still in love but it’s been a crazy few months and they are being quieter while enlistment and solo era firms up. That’s my take thus far!

[soundsof71]

FIVE ALBUMS YOU NEED IN YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOW!!!

aka, My Top 5 of 2020, but I didn’t want to seem too retro!

Yep, I have a classic rock blog. Yep, I think that the best rock and roll in history is being made RIGHT NOW. And yep, ALL of it is being made by women. 

(Shown at top, Nova Twins by Ant Adams [x] and The Tissues by Michael Espleta [x]. I was planning to make a collage of all my faves in concert, but  not all of them were able to play in 2020. Both of these photos are pre-pandemic.)

There’s been quite a bit of movement on this list, and all five of these have spent some time at Number 1 as the year has done (gestures broadly) All This™. Anyone looking for rock and roll is going to dig any of these. 

Rocking out is just the start of it, though. Wrestling with my bipolarity and schizophrenia is tough on a good day, and there haven’t been too many of those lately. The plague has also taken its toll around me, with two family members dead and a third who’s doing better, but will likely never be all the way back. (Mask up, kids!)

I’ve written plenty about how deeply Taylor Swift and Phoebe Bridgers have moved me this year (and will do so again), but in those rare stretches where I’ve had enough spare energy to listen to music at all these days, I’ve mostly been looking for more than beautiful music. Heavy times need heavy lifting, and I find that in heavy music. 

The five albums here have all helped carry me, pointing the way toward light.

1) BULLY, SUGAREGG

Alicia Bognanno is a force of nature as a guitarist, vocalist, composer, and producer/engineer. (While working on her degree in audio engineering at MTSU, she interned with Steve Albini, who remains both a fan and an admirer). A Nashville transplant from Minnesota, she’s still a natural fit in her home on Sub Pop: as heavy as Soundgarden, as hooky as Sleater-Kinney. 

I was blown away hearing her searing honesty while working through her discoveries of her bisexuality and bipolarity (double bi!), and her triumphant roar lifts me out of my seat every time I listen.

“She sings the hell out of [these songs], her voice fraying to the point of combustion every time she launches to the top of her range. This is phenomenal music for converting anger and anxiety into unbound joy.” ~Stereogum, Album of the Week

Also, check this fantastic interview with Alicia in the New York Times talking about what she’s gone through to get here. 

TURN IT UP!

2) GANSER, LOOK AT THAT SKY

Ganser syndrome is a rare dissociative disorder characterized by nonsensical or wrong answers to questions and other dissociative symptoms such as fugue, amnesia or conversion disorder, often with visual pseudohallucinations and a decreased state of consciousness. ~Wikipedia #it me

‘Just Look At That Sky’ doesn’t presume to offer solutions; it’s an honest document of what it feels like to wade through anxiety, day by day, not a survival guide or handbook of answers none of us actually have. Whether or not you pay attention to this, Ganser are simply one of the most invigorating, exciting new bands. ~Clashmusic

I saw one very positive review compare Ganser to a cross between Fugazi and Sonic Youth, but I think they hit much, much harder than either of those. And as you can surely guess, I also deeply relate to their themes of mental illness and dissociation while trying to make it through All This™. But my god, are they TIGHT. This is a BAND.

Ganser has two fantastic lead vocalists, and on “Bad Form”, bassist/vocalist Alicia Gaines wrote the song for the voice of keyboardist/vocalist Nadia Garofolo. Alicia also wrote a FANTASTIC essay on the strains that making an album during a pandemic puts on the mental health of the entire band at talkhouse: “Writing, recording, reaching out, balancing relationships outside and within the band, I found (and still find) myself under-rested and agitated to no particular end. More than not doing enough, I was not enough.” 

(If you can’t relate to that, I can’t relate to you, tbh.)

This video also does a fantastic job of showing dissociation. TURN IT UP!

3) THE TISSUES, BLUE FILM

“Blue Film” is a ten-song shot of dagger-twisting electro-(s)punk. It’s completely addictive from the very first listen. The tour de force is “Rear Window”, an art-punk masterpiece of slashing guitars and mad caterwauling. Copious doses of jaunty poetics and social commentary reward the earlooker patient enough to untangle Kristine Nevrose’s hysterical meowing about intergalactic salt shakers and hysterectomies, but I’m too emotionally invested to look under the hood.” ~ Sputnik Music

“Rear Window” is in fact my most-played 2020 track. TURN IT UP!

4) GUM COUNTRY, SOMEWHERE

It’s not all heavy! But even when I’m looking for something light and hooky, I need a bite, and Gum Country has done it with the kind of swirly, feeedback-laden wall of sound that Lush or Yo La Tengo would make if they lived in LA. (Recent transplants to SoCal from Vancouver, I do think that the sunshine has gone straight to their heads, in the very best way.)

Indie music nerds will know guitarist/composer/singer/front woman Courtney Garvin from The Courtneys, and she really does throw up a glorious wall of sound. I adore this video too! Sweet, swinging, fun -- and yes, the drummer is playing keyboard with one hand while slapping the skins with the other! 

I mentioned earlier that all five of these albums have spent part of the year at #1 on my list -- I think that this one might have spent the longest stretch there. Like all shoegaze, even as hooky as this, the truth of these songs is revealed in VOLUME. TURN IT UP!

5) NOVA TWINS, WHO ARE THE GIRLS?

Now, THIS is heavy! Amy Lee (vocals, guitar) and Georgia South (bass) are fucking LOUD, and insanely intense. A mix of grime, hip-hop, metal, punk, and good old rock and roll, they’re a harder-hitting, more theatrical Prodigy, with a pyre of intensity that recalls the heaviest howls of Rage Against The Machine. Indeed, Nova Twins spent a good bit of 2019 playing heavy metal festivals and toured as openers for Prophets of Rage. (Tom Morello has been a fan and supporter from the beginning.)

As you may have noted in the photo at the top of this post, their musical audacity extends to visuals too: they design their own clothes, hair, and makeup, they art direct their own videos, and more. They impress the hell out of me, and I’ve been a huge fan since hearing their first singles in 2018. I’ll plant a flag and say that Georgia South in particular is the most innovative musician on any instrument in any genre right now, but they’re both absolutely monsters. 

I’m honestly not at all sure that #5 is high enough for this, but I’m absolutely certain that after this video, you’re gonna need to rest for a little. LOL

“Taxi” is the story of two gleefully and creatively violent women shaking up the local crime syndicate as they use a vintage cab for their moving murder scene. This is the movie that Robert Rodriguez wishes he was making with Sin City, if it were combined with Blade Runner and The Matrix. And gangsters. And a snake.

I’m gonna take your crown I’m gonna, I’m gonna bleed you out We demand it by the hour We devour, control, power

I’m gonna burn it down Even the, even the royals bow

So not the same kind of therapeutic work being explored on this rekkid, but you know what? Fucking shit up is therapeutic too! 

Definitely take this full screen, and for the love of fuck, TURN IT UP!

SO. Not done with the best of 2020 yet? I’m sure not! A lot of my favorite songs aren’t on albums (at least not yet), so for an unedited list of everything I’m finding, check out my Spotify list, 2020: Shuffle This List! 268 songs and counting, over 15 hours, and not finished yet. I’m still checking out everyone else’s Best of lists (including yours! Message me links to yours!!!), so will probably be adding to this for most of 2021, too. 

And for more banging tracks by women from 2020, plus a few 2019 gems that I’m still grooving to, check out my more thoroughly curated Spotify playlist Women Bangers: A Tumblr New Classics Jam. (You’ll see a couple of these tracks there!) I’m working on a YouTube playlist and an essay to properly roll that one out. I’m also still tweaking the ending, but the three dozen or so tunes there are definitely bangin’.

Tell me if you hear anything you dig here, and tell me what YOU’VE found! We’re gonna get through this together.

Yr pal, Timmy

[vikingqueer]

music recommendations because i have some thoughts™

i don't wanna be that person who's like "my music taste is so weird lol" but i find that very often most of my friends don't really care for the music i like so i thought i'd just make a long ass post about it on tumblr instead. Fair warning, I'm very passionate about MIKA and The Mechanisms and so this very quickly got VERY long because it is part of my ongoing campaign to convince people to listen to mika and the mechs.

1) MIKA in general, but especially My Name Is Michael Holbrook (2019) and No Place In Heaven (2015) (especially the Deluxe version!!)

MIKA is a kind of British singer (half Lebanese, grew up in France blabla), and you probably know him for Grace Kelly and Relax, Take It Easy from his first album Life In Cartoon Motion from 2007. He writes a lot of FUN music, interspersed with the occasional slightly sadder song, especially when looking at an album like No Place In Heaven, which contains a lot of songs with gay themes, resulting in some songs that are just a little bit ouch. He's originally classically trained and has a frankly RIDICULOUS range and idk he just writes very good pop music. Also I have so much respect for that time he talked about how a lot of pop is very fake, with like expensive cars and stilettos and mini skirts in the snow and said "Because I walk down the street, and I don't see any of that. I see fat women and gay men. I don't know... That's real". He's written 5 albums; My Name Is Michael Holbrook (2019), No Place In Heaven (2015), The Origin Of Love (2012), The Boy Who Knew Too Much (2009), and Life In Cartoon Motion (2007).

For starters, I recommend listening to Last Party, Origin Of Love, Grace Kelly, Blame It On The Girls, Blue, Happy Ending, Pick Up Off The Floor, Last Party, Underwater, Tomorrow and Tiny Love (yes this is a long list but i REALLY love MIKA). If you want a slightly broader palette that's not just my favourites, I recommend the Mika starter pack on spotify.

2) The Mechanisms. I warn you. I am making this a thing. I have been obsessed with the mechs since last march.

Boy, where to start? The Mechanisms were a British 9 member space pirate story-telling cabaret that "died" in January 2020. They rewrite songs to fit retellings of various stories. I don't even know what genre I'd describe them as, but probably folk but steam-punk?? Their 4 "main" albums are concept albums, and I honestly just recommend listening to the from beginning to end in chronological order. A good way to get into the mechs is also to listen to UDAD and then watching the live show on youtube or alternately try giving Death To The Mechanisms a listen, to get good quality live show audio of TBI and various other stuff. Also, it was streamed on YouTube and someone combined the footage with the album audio and it rocks. Really, I think the mechs' best selling points are honestly just their concept albums:

Once Upon a Time (In Space) Their first album from 2012. I'd say this is the most "easily digestible" for the general public, since it's a retelling of various fairytales. So, what if Old King Cole was in fact not merry, but rather a cold-blooded dictator, intent on colonising as much of the galaxy as possible. What if Snow White was a general, looking to avenge what King Cole did to her sister, Rose. What if Cinderella was to be wedded to Rose the day that King Cole attacked in order to kidnap Rose? But y'know, In Space and also like every other mechs album it's a beautiful tragedy. Fave songs are Old King Cole, Pump Shanty, and No Happy Ending.

Ulysses Dies at Dawn You guessed it, it's a story about Odysseus, or Ulysses because I guess Ulysses is easier to rhyme or fit in the meter or something, idk. Ulysses is a war hero of unknown gender who is said to keep something that could take down the corrupt Olympians, meanest families in the City, in a vault to which only they know the passcode. Oedipus, Heracles, Orpheus, and Ariadne have been hired by Hades, who happens to be The Mechs' quartermaster Ashes O'Reilly, to get into Ulysses' vault. I didn't care much for udad at first, but honestly it's got some real bangers and the story is really good. UDAD weirdly stands out as the only of the concept albums to not feature any gay relationships, per se. Fave songs are Riddle of the Sphinx, Favoured Son, and Underworld Blues.

High Noon over Camelot This is my favourite mehcs album. So basically, this is Arthurian legend, but it's a space western and Jonny D'Ville does a bad southern accent. This is the story of the cowboy lovers Arther, Lancelot, and Guinevere searching for the Galfridian Restricted Acces Interface Login, or GRAIL, in order to stop their world from falling into the sun. Meanwhile, Mordred and Gawaine are ruling Camelot, and Mordred has convinced Gawaine to try to establish peace with the Saxons by whom Mordred was raised, but Gawaine hates viciously. If you love getting your heart broken and songs by a fucking off the rails batshit preacher I HIGHLY recommend hnoc. Fave songs are Gunfight at the Dolorous Guard, Blood and Whiskey, and Once and Future King. Honorary mention for Hellfire because it awakens something animalistic in me.

The Bifrost Incident TBI is the frankly only good adaptation of norse mythology I've ever known of, and I say that as Dane who was literally forced to learn things about norse mythology in school because it's my heritage or whatever. I've been listening to TBI a lot lately because it's VERY good. It's definitely the most refined of the mechs' albums (because it's the newest) but also I just love a little bit of cosmic horror. 80 years ago, Odin, the All-Mother, ruler of Asgaard, launched a train through the wormhole Bifrost that would reduce the travel between Asgaard and Midgaard from 3 months to 3 days, but things didn't go quite as planned. Lyfrassir Edda of the New Midgaard Transport Police is trying to solve the case of why suddenly the train has arrived 80 years late; to figure out whether it was accident or maybe it was sabotaged by Loki, who was allegedly sentence to death her murder of Baldur, by the Midgaardian resistance led by Loki's wife Sigyn, or maybe by Thor, who was to take over after Odin, and who holds quite the grudge because he used to be a friend of Loki's. You might've heard the song Thor from this album, it's apparently quite popular. Fave songs are Loki, Ragnarok III: Strange Meeting, and Ragnarok V: End of The Line. Yet again an honorary mention: Red Signal because while Lovecraft was a bitch, his invocations are fucking RAW.

Basically, the Mechanisms do all of their performances in character as captain first mate Jonny D'Ville, quartermaster Ashes O'Reilly, pilot DrumBot Brian, master-at-arms Gunpowder Tim, science officer Raphaella la Cognizi, doctor Baron Marius Von Raum (neither a baron, nor a doctor), archivist Ivy Alexandria, engineer Nastya Rasputina, and The Toy Soldier, who is, as usual, present. You can find very obscure lore about the crew of the Aurora here, tidbits on Tales To Be Told and TTBT Vol. 2, such as One Eyed Jacks, The Ignominious Demise of Dr. Pilchard, Gunpowder Tim vs. The Moon Kaiser, Lucky Sevens, and Lost in the Cosmos.

If you feel like listening to a full 40-50 minute album to find out if you like a band is a bit much, I recommend listening to one of the mini stories Alice, Swan Song, or Frankenstein, which are about 12, 5 and 9:30 minutes respectively.

3) The Amazing Devil You know that guy who played Jaskier in the Witcher? I got into The Amazing Devil from spotify recommending them because I listened to the mechs, and apparently Joey Batey from The Amazing Devil is the same Joey Batey who was in the Witcher. Both him and Madeleine Hyland are VERY talented singers and songwriters and their second album The Horror and the Wild makes me go out into the forest and SCREAM. I listened to it on repeat for like a month straight. I guess they'd also be considered folk, but like. New Folk. Also yes, this is another British artist, I don't know why I'm like this. I've never really gotten that into their first album, Love Run, but King slaps. As I understand there's this whole lore about the Blue Furious Boy and Scarlet Scarlet, Joey and Madeleine respectively, but unlike the Mechanisms it's actually possible to find out things about the actual real people and harder to find the obscure lore? I'm open for people to please help me. Fave songs are The Horror and the Wild, Farewell Wanderlust, and That Unwanted Animal, which is literally a third of their second album, but again. I haven't really listened to Love Run that much, and I just LOVE the harmonies on THATW. (also im gay and dramatic leave me alone)

4) dodie I have so much love for this woman. Like many others, I first knew dodie as doddleoddle on youtube. I think I first stumbled across her in probably 2015, because I distinctly already knew her before she released her first EP Sick of Losing Soulmates in 2016. I think I watched probably every video she's ever made in the span of a few weeks. I just loved her quiet sound and was absolutely HOOKED. Also she's actually the reason I got into MIKA originally, so thanks for that. Dodie just realeased her first album Build A Problem (in addition to her three EP's; the one mentioned above, You, and Human) and it slaps. Yes dodie is also British Fave songs are probably Monster, Rainbow, and In The Middle.

5) Cladia Boleyn Unfortunately, Claudia Boleyn only has three singles and that's it. She's been making content on youtube for quite a while, and that's how I first discovered her. I don't know what genre her music is, but I like it. The songs are Celesta, George, and Mother Maiden Crone, of which the latter is my favourite. I'm not saying Claudia Boleyn invented women in 2017 when she released Mother Maiden Crone, but she did. Also you guessed it, Claudia Boleyn is British.

6) Hozier I'm not about to tell you about Hozier. You know who he is. Listen to Nina Cried Power, Angel Of Small Death & The Codeine Scene, and Shrike. Also Hozier isn't stricly British in that he is definitely from A British Isle, but Ireland is not part of the UK. Give me a break.

7) Oh Land Oh Land IS DANISH. I like her early music best, because I'm not that into the electronic sound. I guess Oh Land is just you regular old pop, but with the occasional weird vibe? Oddly enough, I like her first album Fauna best. Unfortunately I haven't really listened to her newest album Family Tree much, but it seems good? Fave songs are Frostbite, Love You Better and Family Tree. I cried on the bus, first time I listened to the Danish version of Love You Better, Elsker Dig Mer because my mother tongue always just hits harder. Also Frostbite is Oh Land doing a duet with herself which is pretty cool.

8) Oysterband This is a live recommendation. I mean they're a decent folk band and all, but they're a fucking experience live. If you like folk and you ever get the opportunity to see Oysterband live, do it. Unfortunately, yes. They are British. Either way, they are incredible on a scene and I think they deserve a mention for that.

9) Ben Platt Honestly don't know much about this guy, but he's not British and he was in Dear Evan Hansen. He released an album in 2019, Sing To Me Instead, and I just think it's a good album, there isn't really not much more to it. Fave songs are Grow As We Go, Bad Habit, and In Case You Don't Live Forever.

and thats all for now. this has been a ramble. shout out to you if you actually read all of this, especially the mechs part.

[infinitelytheheartexpands]

My Personal Opinions on Some French Grand Opéras

Here we go. I’ll be focusing solely on pieces in what’s widely considered the “Golden Age” of grand opéra (from 1828 to about 1870).

1828, Auber: La muette de Portici: never seen or heard so I cannot comment, but I do think it slaps that it helped start both the Belgian Revolution and the genre of grand opéra.

1829, Rossini: Guillaume Tell: I love this one. it’s one of the few grand opéras that has a happy ending and it’s fully deserved. it’s long but it all has a point-- the first act introduces us to the community spirit that drives the rest of the action; even though it’s called Guillaume Tell, it’s not just about Guillaume Tell. it’s about a whole movement coming together, with all these vividly-drawn people of different social statuses, ages, heritages, and livelihoods coming together to do good in the world in the face of oppression. also it’s Rossini so it bops start to finish. the finale is one of opera’s best. I could not have higher praise and admiration for this piece.

1831, Meyerbeer: Robert le diable: another rare case of a grand opéra with a happy ending, but it feels a bit more contrived, something I wrote about when I watched it about a year ago for the first time. it’s quite a clever ending, however, and I love that these lovely characters get a happy ending. Robert is the least interesting principal character both musically and dramatically; the musical highlights of the show are mostly Bertram and Isabelle’s big scenes. the former is also arguably grand opéra’s most exciting ballet sequence, the Act III ballet of the nuns (or as I like to call it, the Zombie Nun Ballet). it’s long but it is incredibly worth it. overall, I really do enjoy this opera although it is very much an uneven piece.

1833, Auber: Gustave III, ou le bal masqué: here’s a thing I wrote about it like 3 months ago and I stand by every word.

1835, Halévy: La juive: It’s damn near impossible to find an even remotely close to complete recording. However, what the recordings have is excellent. The score is marvelous all the way through, although for the most part I tend to prefer the ensembles to the arias (the exception, of course, being Éléazar’s 11 o’clock number). Speaking of Éléazar, he’s an extremely complicated and frankly uncomfortable character, toeing the line between being one of opera’s most complex characters, an even more complicated proto-gender-swapped-Azucena if you will, and being an unfortunate vessel of antisemitic stereotypes. This is made even more complicated because Halévy was an assimilated Jewish composer. On the whole, Rachel is the only wholly sympathetic character in the piece, although all five of the principals are lovingly scored. 

1836, Meyerbeer: Les Huguenots: *holds things in because otherwise I would write an entire essay about this opera and you all know that because I have done that several times* Both a great strength and a great weakness of this piece is its sheer wide-ranging-ness, particularly in terms of mood. Unlike, say, La juive, this opera does not have one overall mood, instead steadily progressing from bright, brilliant comedy to one of the most horrifying endings in opera. Dramatically, this is great for the most part, although the sheer amount of exposition in the first two acts may take getting used to. Just as the drama gets more intense and concentrated as the opera goes on, the music gets more intense- and frankly, more often than not better- as the opera goes on. The window/misunderstood engagement business is something I still struggle to see the exact dramatic purpose of, because I think the question of religious difference would likely be enough to separate Raoul and Valentine at the beginning anyway; to me, it feels like Scribe and Deschamps were struggling to find a way to integrate Nevers into the story, as he is crucial to the opera’s lessons about love and tolerance, so they stuck in a quasi-love-triangle in order to justify his presence earlier on. (Also, for goodness sake, could you at least have given him an onstage death scene?) Anyway, in this way the story can be a bit unwieldy and uneven at first, but stay the course with this one...and even a lot of the first couple of acts are wonderful. The characters are all wonderfully written if rather episodic in many cases, but this opera is ambitious and by the end, it’ll tear your heart to shreds. It’s amazing. Uneven, yes, but amazing nonetheless, and I will defend it to the death.

1840, Donizetti: La favorite: I’m not as familiar with La favorite as with some of the others on this list (I’ve seen two different productions once each and I have a recording of it saved to my Spotify library that I listen to bits and pieces of very occasionally) but I do think it’s an excellent piece overall. LÉONOR DESERVED SO MUCH BETTER. The music is lovely all around; I know Donizetti wrote at least one other grand opéra in full and part of another, both of which I need to check out because in its own way, Donizetti’s style works wonderfully with grand opéra.

1841: Halévy, La reine de Chypre: here is a post I wrote about La reine de Chypre. basically all my thoughts remain the same except I have to add: Halévy as a whole just needs more love. there’s a few other of his operas I have waiting (a recording of Le dilettante d’Avignon that has been sitting in my Spotify for who knows how long and a film of Clari with Bartoli and Osborn I’m also sitting on) but there are so many pieces that sound fascinating but have basically ZILCH in terms of recordings.

1849, Meyerbeer: Le prophète: before I say anything else about this opera, I need to ask a burning question: WHY THE HELL IS THERE ONLY ONE GOOD VIDEO RECORDING OF THIS OPERA?!?! on the one hand, I adore the Osborn/Aldrich/Fomina production; on the other, I would also like other productions, please. anyway, I said one time in the opera Discord that while Les Huguenots will probably always be my favorite Meyerbeer opera for an array of reasons, this one is definitely Meyerbeer, Scribe, and Deschamps’ strongest work. it is both unusually dark and unusually believable for an opera of its time—and the fact that it still holds up so well is disturbing to say the least. this opera thrives on complexity in all forms and yet has probably (and paradoxically) the simplest plot to follow of the four Meyerbeer grand opéras. the score is brilliant start to finish, mixing the best of bel canto, Romanticism, and something altogether darker, stranger, and more original. definitely one of the most underrated operas ever. the aforementioned production is on YouTube with French subtitles; give it a watch here.

1855, Verdi: Les vêpres siciliennes: Vêpres is an opera I love dearly although I have yet to find a production that is completely satisfying. I think it’s because this opera is a lot deeper, a lot more complex, and a lot more troubling, frankly, than people are willing to go. also it should be performed bilingually and I am dead-set on this: the dissonance of an opera about French capture of Italian land being sung entirely in either French or Italian is always a little off at least (and also part of the reason why my brain probably adjusted to hearing this opera in either language better than, say, Don Carlos). but anyway, neither side comes off particularly well here, particularly due to the violence and sexual assault on both sides of the equation: both Montfort and Procida are heavily in the wrong, and while Verdi sympathizes with both for personal reasons (Verdian Dad in the former case, Italian Liberator in the latter), there is a lot of troubling stuff in here. nevertheless, the music bops, the story is intriguing, and I think we can all agree that Henri and Hélène both deserved better, especially considering how close they got to bliss (although I think we can also all agree that the end of Act IV twist to almost-rom-com is pretty abrupt).

1863 (full opera: 1890), Berlioz: Les Troyens: I wrote this review of Troyens after watching it in the Châtelet 2003 production in December 2019 (first time ever watching it) and I still stand by just about every word. Such a fascinating opera, great adaptation of the first few books of the Aeneid, marvelous score (of course, it’s Berlioz!)...but could there be a ballet or two fewer, Berlioz? Or at least shorten them up? And that’s coming from someone who likes ballet. But anyway, in every other respect it’s absolutely marvelous. Some people say it’s the greatest French opera ever, and while I hesitate to say that, it comes pretty damn near close.

1865, Meyerbeer: L’Africaine (Vasco de Gama): Vasco da Gama/L’Africaine is even more troubling—much more troubling—of an opera than Vêpres to me and I wrote a whole thing here as to why. I still stand by most of it, although upon reflection, I feel like the ending that drove me so crazy has virtually the exact same idea behind it as the end of Troyens/Book IV of the Aeneid: empire has consequences and those consequences hurt real people, who, though different and not among those perceived as “heroic”, are worthy of being treated as human, not being collateral damage. (I’ve written at least two essays about this for different classes, both specifically in regards to the Aeneid.) It may be time to revisit this one. The score is lovely, after all, although it didn’t stand out to me as much as others by Meyerbeer.

1867, Verdi: Don Carlos: *holds myself back from writing a 10-page essay* y’all, there is a reason that when someone asks me what my favorite opera is, I always choose this one even though I’m horrible at favorites questions. it’s Verdi, grand opéra, romantic drama (SO MUCH romantic drama and SO MUCH gay), political drama, religious/social struggle, personal struggle, social commentary, spectacle, intimacy, masterful characterization all in one. what more could you want? I first saw/heard this opera in Italian long before I did in French, so my brain is more hardwired to hearing the Italian but both are good. my motto is “Italian or French, I don’t care, but Fontainebleau has to be there.” fuck the four-act version. I mean, I will watch four-act versions but five-act versions are just superior. I’d prefer uncut performances (the first part of the garden, the Lacrimosa, the extended opening and ending), but these aren’t dealbreakers for me. it’s the perfect synthesis of Verdi and grand opéra, much less unwieldy than Vêpres (as much I love that one), both musically and dramatically.

1868, Thomas: Hamlet: Part of me wishes this was more faithful to the actual source play (why??? the??? fuck??? does??? Hamlet??? live??? although there are alternate endings), but part of me also realizes that the play is already four hours long as is and singing it plus ballet would make it WAY too fucking long. This does a pretty respectable job. The music is gorgeous, by turns almost sugary-sweet and thrillingly ominous. The Murder of Gonzago scene is an absolute masterpiece. The Mad Scene is justifiably one of opera’s best (although I’m not sure it was a good idea to have that and a frequently-cut 20-minute ballet with no relation whatsoever to the main plot to make up all of Act IV). There are a lot of bops in this one. The four principals are closely followed and still very well-drawn. Both of the stagings I have seen were excellent. An underrated opera.

1869 (grand opéra version), Gounod: Faust: Another of my absolute favorite operas. Since this existed for a decade before its transformation into the grand opéra we all know and love, I won’t comment much about its actual format and adherence to grand opéra tropes aside from saying the Walpurgisnacht ballet is one of grand opéra’s best and extremely good at giving off Vibes TM. I used to hate how the character of Faust was written and thought he was incredibly boring. Not anymore (although of course, I still hate him as a person. fuck him tbh). This opera has a reputation for being saccharine and old-fashioned and I think that’s a bunch of garbage right there. It’s about the search for eternal youth and the expectations of conforming to social values and people’s struggles with themselves when a) they “fall short” and b) when the world ostracizes them for being “different” and “out of line”. I am also firmly convinced that Marguerite is the real protagonist of Faust (like how I’m convinced that Valentine is the protagonist of Les Huguenots if there even is a singular protagonist in that opera but I digress). The music slaps. People need to stop cutting whole scenes out of this. I’m still undecided on the order of the church and square scenes of Act IV. Marguerite and Siébel just need everything good in this world.

Anyway, those are my two cents! I tried to keep these pretty short, so if y’all want any follow-ups, let me know!

[radramblog]

Album Discussion- Shinjuku Mad

Usually on a Tuesday I like to take my time with a blog post. Listen to a full album, do a little research, put some real effort into it.

Unfortunately, time is not my ally today. So I kinda have to do one that’s a bit easier- in this case, I think I’d rather go after one of the ones that’s already on my phone, in case I have to do this on the bus or something.

(wait, I drove in today…)

Today we’re going to go into a self-titled album that is somehow not the artist’s debut. Rather, Shinjuku Mad is the second of two albums released under the name- the reason I specify as such is that one of the two (and later, the vocalist would help out again) members would go on to relative fame under a different name- Vaportrap pioneer Blank Banshee.

Peering into this album is like looking at a beta version of what was to come. It’s very much a different genre, an IDM album that completely predates Vaporwave’s explosion of popularity and Blank Banshee’s seminal album, Blank Banshee 0. It’s a solid enough album in addition to this, but it’s kind of hard to talk about seeing as there’s basically nobody who knows about Shinjuku Mad that didn’t learn about it through Blank Banshee. As such, expect a lot of BB coming up in this post.

Also a block of words, because no music videos exist for this at all. It’s one of those obscure albums.

This album opens on Cure for Fear. It’s one of those introductory tracks you often get in albums, at about a minute and a half long, with very reverb-y percussion and vocals and an almost ethereal haze of noise. It’s got these chimes that occasionally come up, reminiscent of some of the tracks from the AKIRA soundtrack, but beyond that there’s not a huge amount going on here. It does introduce a problem, however, one which we’ll get to later. It’ll be pretty evident if you’re listening along, though.

Track 2: Kowloon. I really did forget how short a lot of these songs were, with this being 2:13- the whole 10-track album clocks in at under half an hour. There’s a mix of drum machine and hollow wood percussion on this track that gives it a really interesting sort of feel, and some of the effects on the vocals feel extremely vaporwave- it’s no surprise that the dude behind this went on into that genre. Here’s where I can’t help but hammer on that issue I mentioned earlier, though.

The vocals on this album are quite weak. I know they’re very much trying to be ethereal, the reverb and falsetto make that much clear, and that style very much suits the instrumentation. But it just doesn’t sound great. It kinda comes and goes, but by and large I’d label them as subpar. I don’t really think it’s the fault of the performance either, it’s not like the bloke is missing his lines or mumbling more than is necessary for the album’s aesthetic, but there’s just something about them. They might be too loud in the mix for this kind of genre? I’m not 100% sure.

Resistor, the third track, is the best known song from this album by an order of magnitude. I mean that quite literally, as the track as over 540,000 monthly listens on Spotify as compared to Kowloon’s 32000. It’s kind of shocking, I mean for such an obscure album with zero singles, why is this of all tracks the one people suddenly latched onto?

As it turns out, it’s because again of the artist’s future work as Blank Banshee. Resistor would be reworked into one of the more popular tracks from BB0, Dreamcast, and it would appear that people got curious as to what the source was.

The thing is, aside from sharing a vocal performance, the tracks are very different. As it is, Resistor is a much faster track than the previous, driven by this fast percussion and bassline, making for a genuinely solid exercise track of all things (I say from experience). It’s got a fun little synth solo in the middle, the vocals are pretty solid (aside from like right at the end of the last chorus, holy shit), and the song’s coda and outro are a fun little bit of controlled chaos. I’d put Resistor as one of the better tracks on the album, is what I’m saying.

I’m going to do something I haven’t done in a while when discussing music on this blog- I’m going to jump through a few things. As much as I like this album, the songs aren’t nearly interesting enough to justify a song-by-song breakdown. I think if you listen to Resistor and like it, it’s probably worth chucking on the rest of the album- it is, again, less than half an hour long. But its an album where it’s more valuable on a meta level than it is sonically.

Shinjuku Mad as an album feels a lot like a hybrid between older IDM trends and the synth/vaporwave elements that would become popularised in the 2010s. There’s also tracks like Inductor, which border on rock songs with the power behind that bassline and percussion- in general much of the instrumentation is cleaner than you’d expect from an artist like this, especially considering how muddied much of the vocals get. There is a real focus on the vocals, which as I’ve discussed is a weakness of the album, but I do think it’s possible to look past that issue. There’s some really fun synth lines, some excellent percussion, and real aesthetic. Songs like Human Wave Attack feel stark and lonely, notes echoing into the void, which ironically is not at all like Track 4, Void- with synths and vocals disguising a guitar and drum line that feels extremely garage band. As in, the concept, not the program. Singularity is a song that feels again predictive of Blank Banshee’s future work, a low, slow synth track reminiscent of BB songs like Hyper Object or Metamaterial.

There are some genuine gems on here in addition to Resistor, though. City of No Tomorrow, the eighth song, has got to be one of my favourites- somehow, despite featuring none of the instrumentation typical of the genre, it’s extremely cyberpunk, a sense of struggle and futility resonant through the track. It’s the one song on the album I listen to regularly, getting myself lost in the groove of the bass and tapping my foot along to the percussion. It’s just really good, man.

If this isn’t your first time encountering Shinjuku Mad, reading this might cause you to go back and have another listen, upon which you may notice a few somethings missing. I don’t expect that to be the case for literally anyone reading this…but I needed a segue. This is because, upon the reintegration of Shinjuku Mad and its predecessor Organic Thoughts from the Synthetic Mind into Hologram Bay’s catalogue for the 2019 reissue, two songs were cut, likely for fears of legal issues regarding sampling. The version of this album that I remember has those tracks!

Those songs are Negatives (formerly track 6) and Neon Exodus (formerly track 12). Negatives is another one that’d show up as a Blank Banshee track (in this case, Gunshots), and is actually really solid? Like it integrates a raid siren into the instrumentation without having it sound weird, out of place, or, well, alarming. Neon Exodus is…wow I just don’t know this track at all. It’s fuckin aesthetic though. Welcome to this spontaneous live-reaction, I guess. I recognize the sample this is built around (and thereby why it isn’t on the album anymore) but I cannot name it for the life of me. It’s, uh, interesting. I dunno, 6.5/10?

Anyway, part of the reason I bring this up is that before I want to close this out I have some complaining to do. Said 2019 reissue was something I tracked at the time, and noticed both SM albums were releasing on Vinyl, Cassette (because, you know, nerds), and digitally. But not CD. I threw an email at the website about it, and they did eventually respond (it genuinely took like two months though), but not in the positive. The reissue had no plans to include a CD, unlike all three previous Blank Banshee albums.

But the original 2010 version of the album, along with a few slight differences in songs and in album order, does have a CD release, albeit an extremely limited one, according to Discogs. These CDs have to exist, they’re now listed on the new Shinjuku Mad website. Apparently one sold 6 months ago through Discogs. I need to find a copy, though considering on that site 7 people list it as owned and 72 (including myself) list it as wanted, it’s probably not going to happen.

And that, ultimately, is Shinjuku Mad. It’s a very odd piece of history as far as vaporwave goes, considering it’s both a prototype and also something completely, utterly different. The album is pretty decent on its own, but not mindblowing, and something you could probably live without. There are like two tracks (three if you include Negatives) that are 100% worth it, but the rest are skippable. Which is a shame, but mediocre music has to exist somewhere, right?

That I apparently haven’t discussed Blank Banshee on this blog before (aside from when I was talking about Vaperror) is actually kind of shocking. I suppose, then, that there might be some lacking context. I probably will have to do that at some point, though I probably won’t do BB0 because I like picking the hipster options- so either BB1 or MEGA. Metamorphosis didn’t really pique my interest, and I somehow missed GAIA existing in the first place and still haven’t listened to it. So if you’re interested in seeing me ramble over some of that, I’ll see you then. I mean, it’ll still happen if you aren’t interested, but nobody’s going to make you read it.

Or am I…?

[sunflowerhae]

music sceneries I’ll never write

♡~•Rules•~♡

➮ Send an ask with the song title, and member! I put the member that I envisioned when I listened to the long, however if you want someone else (from NCT OT21) then you can just request it with them!

➮ ONLY REQUEST A SONG FROM THIS PLAYLIST! I thought that was obvious, but ig not! My bad 😔😔 this isn’t a “submit a song of choice” this is choose a song down below, and get the story I wrote abt it. Hope that makes sense idk

➮ please be aware that I might not get back to you immediately - however if you aren’t on anon, or tell me whatever blog you want me to tag (i understand - this is a side blog), then I’ll tag you in the post!

➮ Please do NOT request two songs together - one suggested per ask! You can ask for two songs at the same time, but they’ll be separate!

➮ also note that the genres in the song descriptions WILL be in the story, but if you really want a certain genre, just say it and I’ll make it both (ex/ if a story is listed as angst, but you want fluff, I’ll make it angst AND fluff)

➮ finally, these aren’t full length stories. They’re experts from the songs listed that I wanted to make full length stories for, but there’s so much that I know I wouldn’t be able to. Once I post the first one, you’ll get the format more 😊 anyway what I’m saying is don’t expect a 10k long fic!

★ - personal favorites. It also means I would hopefully like to keep the same member suggested - but you don’t need to!😊

♫ Somebody else

“I'm looking through you, while you're looking through your phone, and then leaving with somebody else”

Artist: The 1975

Genre: Angst

Suggested Member: Haechan

♫ my eyes adored you

“My eyes adored you - though I never laid a hand on you, my eyes adored you.”

Artist: Frankie Valli

Genre: Fluff

Suggested Member: Jisung

♫ she plays bass

“This chick, who plays bass. She plays bass, she plays bass. Nothing matters cause we’re both in space.”

Artist: beabadoobee

Genre: fluff, crack

Suggested Member: Jaehyun

♫ Life on Mars?

“-Wonder if he’ll ever know: he’s in the freakiest show. Is there Life on Mars?”

Artist: David Bowie

Genre: Angst, Fluff

Suggested Member: Jaemin

♫ We’re gonna be friends ★

“Climb the fence, books and pens - I can tell that we are gonna be friends. I can tell that we’re gonna be friends.”

Artist: The White Stripes

Genre: fluff

Suggested Member: Chenle

♫ Fine China

“I'm going down, now with all of my Fine china and fresh linen All of my dresses with them tags still on them”

Artist: Lana Del Rey

Genre: angst

Suggested Members: Jaemin or Jeno

♫ butterflies

“Now I remember what it feels like to fly - You give me butterflies”

Artist: Kacey Musgraves

Genre: Fluff, slight angst

Suggested Member: Jeno

♫ yes to heaven

“Say yes to heaven, say yes to me.”

Artist: Lana Del Rey

Genre: Fluff, angst

Suggested Members: Jaemin, Haechan

♫ teenage fantasy ★

“We all want a teenage fantasy; want it when we can’t have it, when we got it we don’t seem to want it.”

Artist: Jorja Smith

Genre: angst, slight fluff, maybe smut

Suggested Member: Haechan

♫ with love, Vincent ★

Artist: Murray Gold, BBC National Orchestra of Wales

Genre: Fluff

Suggested Member: Jaemin

♫ anyone who knows what love is

“The world may think I’m foolish - they don’t see you like I can. Oh, but anyone who knows what love is will understand.”

Artist: Irma Thomas

Genre: Angst, slight fluff

Suggested Member: Haechan

♫ you were mine ★

“Sometimes I wake up crying at night, and sometimes I scream out your name. What right does she have to take you away, when for so long you were mine.”

Artist: The Chicks

Genre: Angst

Suggested Members: Taeyong, Mark

♫ make me your queen

“And I don’t mean shit, I know you’ve made that clear - cause I mean nothing to you, dear. So make me your queen.”

Artist: Declan McKenna

Genre: angst

Suggested Members: Renjun, Doyoung, Jaemin

♫ across the universe

“Words are flowing out, like endless rain into a paper cup - they slither while they pass, they slip away across the universe”

Artist: The Beatles

Genre: Fluff

Suggested Member: Jaemin

♫ Been it ★

“I’ve been your mother, I’ve been your father; who could ask me for me? I’ve been your sister, I’ve been your mistress - baby I was your whore.”

Artist: The Cardigans

Genre: Angst?, kinda of a breakup revenge story

Suggested Member: Haechan

♫ Back to December

“So this is me swallowing my pride standing in front of you saying I’m sorry for that night - and I go back to December all the time.”

Artist: Taylor Swift

Genre: Angst

Suggested Member: Renjun

♫ The story of us

“And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now.”

Artist: Taylor Swift

Genre: angst, fluff

Suggested Member: Mark

♫ Would that I

“With the roar of the fire my heart rose to its feet, like the ashes of ash I saw rise in the heat, settle soft and as pure as snow - I fell in love with the fire long ago”

Artist: Hozier

Genre: fluff

Suggested Member: Jaemin

♫ Satisfied

“He will never be satisfied, I will never be Satisfied.”

Artist: Renée Elise Goldsberry, Original Broadway Cast of Hamilton

Genre: Angst

Suggested Members: Kun, WinWin, Lucas (idk why I get huge wayv vibes)

♫ Terrance loves you

“But I lost myself, when I lost you.”

Artist: Lana Del Rey

Genre: Angst

Suggested Member: Yuta

♫ Honeymoon avenue

“I’m under pressure cause I can’t have you the way that I want, let’s just go back to the way it was - when we were on Honeymoon Avenue.”

Artist: Ariana Grande

Genre: Angst

Suggested Member: Renjun

♫ I don’t love you anymore

“I ain’t tryin to keep up, because, I don’t love you anymore.”

Artist: Tyler the Creator

Genre: Angst

♫ Soft universe

“Speak to me, speak to me, with love in your eyes.”

Artist: AURORA

Genre: Fluff

Suggested Members: Renjun, Taeil

♫ Traveling Soldier ★

“I cried, never gonna hold the hand of another guy. Too young for him, they told her - waiting for the love of a traveling soldier.”

Artist: The Chicks

Genre: Sligt fluff, Angst

Suggested member: Jeno

♫ Bang Bang - my baby shot me down ★

“bang bang - he shot me down. bang bang - I hit the ground. bang bang - that awful sound. bang bang - my baby shot me down.”

Artist: Nancy Sinatra

Genre: Angst, old movie style (you’ll see)

Member: Jaemin

♫ Past Life

“My lover, from a past life.”

Artist: Tame Impala

Genre: Angst, fluff, slice of life

suggested members: Jaemin, Jeno, Doyoung

♫ I’m apart of that

“I’m apart of that...aren’t I?”

Artist: Anna Kendrick

Genre: Fluff, Angst

Suggested Members: mark, taeyong

♫ Bombs on Monday Morning ★

“Bombs are falling on Monday Morning - waiting for the news together”

Artist: Melanie Martinez

Genre: angst

Member: Jaemin

♫ Daddy issues ★

“Go ahead and cry, little girl. Nobody does it like you do. I know how much it matters to you - I know that you got Daddy Issues.”

Artist: The Neighbourhood

Genre: Fluff, Angst

Member: Jeno (I’m not budging on this)

• Listen to all the music here! ⤦ ⤦

•Bombs on Monday Morning🏔 (not on Spotify) ⤦

• 👼🏻Yes to heaven👼🏻 (not on Spotify) ⤦

[dreamiehrs]

lovin’ on repeat series: dance, baby! ➛ l.dh

genre: some fluff, mainly angst, college!au, jealousy, comedy, gender neutral reader

pairing: lee donghyuck x reader

word count: 2,710 words

warning(s): some swearing, drinking

summary: donghyuck was less than happy when his good friend and local hotshot, named na jaemin, dragged him out of his dorm room and to one of his frat parties of his. however, when he catches sight of you, dancing without a worry in the world and laughing with your friends, he realizes that maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea to go, after all.

note: hi guys!!! hope u enjoy this fic based off of the song dance, baby! by boy pablo. I love that song by him so much, and I feel like it would fit hyuck the best with how upbeat the song is!! I hope you guys are still looking forward to the other member’s fics, and please let me know if you guys enjoyed this fic of mine :-)

tag list: @notaroyal​ @angeldreamies​ @amorcita​ @nicolettalauren​ @wooqzi​ @lovelycharm05​ @staymoarmyzen​ @neolights​ @florence-cvrt​ @mimika-28​ (send me an ask if you wanna be added onto the tag list!)

➫ masterlist

lee donghyuck had no idea what he was doing here. well, that was actually a complete lie, if he was being honest. his hotshot friend, named na jaemin, had dragged him to his frat party after donghyuck had cooped himself up in his dorm room after failing one of his chemistry tests. don’t even get him started on his professor for that class, he honestly hated his professor’s guts (and everything relating to science, too). he may have shed a few tears after failing that test since it was around 20% of his entire grade, and he barely even had a B in that class, so if he ended up failing that class his parents were going to whoop his ass (and no, he wasn’t being dramatic. his parents would kill him if he failed another science class again).

but besides his dramatic retelling of failing his chemistry test, his friend had still somehow convinced him to dress up a little nice and attend his frat party to brighten up his mood. donghyuck had doubted that going to one of jaemin’s disgusting frat parties would remotely do anything to brighten up his already sour mood. failing the test was one thing, but spilling his entire drink of boba on himself and his stylish outfit was another thing that made him just want to scream out at the universe. however, he would definitely get room complaints and his roommate would have a huge fit if he did so, and he, therefore, let out all of his aggravation by playing rounds and rounds of Overwatch until jaemin dragged him out of his despair (and his dorm room).

jaemin even had the nerve to just throw clothes at him and told him to “try them on and see if you can make a decent enough outfit to woo somebody with tonight.” donghyuck loved his friend, he really did, but tonight he just wanted to bodyslam jaemin down until they reach the core of the earth. alright, he admits that that idea is a little too extreme, but who says he can’t make that idea a reality? he can just hear renjun now, saying his idea is ridiculous until he finally gives in and decides to help donghyuck bodyslam jaemin together.

coming back to reality, though, donghyuck was standing in the corner of the living room awkwardly, holding a cup full of coca-cola as he people-watched while occasionally taking a sip of his carbonated drink. he’s been at the party for about an hour and a half now, and even though it was entertaining to eavesdrop into others conversations and learn all the gossip about michael cheating on his girlfriend with another girl named jessica, but after a while, it began to bore him. even worse, he couldn’t locate jaemin after jaemin had walked right into his frat house with donghyuck by his side, and within 15 minutes, his dear best friend was nowhere to be found. this wasn’t unusual, however, because whenever donghyuck attended one of his friend’s frat parties, jaemin would go missing under 20 minutes, probably smooth-talking anyone who showed the least amount of interest in him.

the music playing wasn’t that great either, it was some shitty pop radio that someone had searched up on Spotify. donghyuck didn’t have anything against pop music, by the way, but the songs that were just playing right now were… horrendous, to say the least. they made him want to plug his ears for the rest of the night and just blast his playlist all night.

oh, did he mention that it was night yet? well, it was around midnight already, and he was doing his best to fight back his sleepiness with his soda. staying up wasn’t that rare for him, in fact, he almost did it every night with how much college was kicking his ass and how playing video games would help him just chill out. also, it didn’t help his sleep deprivation when his roommate was a hardcore gamer, too, and the two of them would stay up until 3 am playing Overwatch numerous nights of the week.

although the party almost was boring him to death right now, almost enough to make him just walk out of the front door and head back to his dorm to play more video games, he couldn't find it in himself to do so when he caught sight of you.

you were standing in the middle of the living room, conversing with your friends with a red solo cup in your hand with a dazzling smile shown on your lips. he was starstruck as he watched you from afar, his eyes never leaving your figure as you start to slowly sway your hips to the song playing. he suddenly became self-conscious of what he was wearing, and he looks down at himself to see his black and white plaid flannel, white graphic tee, dark ripped jeans, and dark cherry red Doc Martens. well, he didn't look too shabby, he thought to himself before taking a sip of his drink to find that his cup was empty.

shit, the only way to get to the kitchen was to pass by you and the 50 other people who were dancing like their life depended on it. doing parkour would be easier than this shit, he thought to himself before sighing and making his way towards your direction. he couldn't find it in himself to walk up to you, say at least a greeting or a small "hi" before he finally reaches the kitchen. he frowns and scrunches his nose as the smell of alcohol fills his senses, and he could never understand why people his age liked getting drunk so much until they couldn’t even speak properly.

he shakes his head at the thought and fills his solo cup to the brim with coca-cola, and he takes a big gulp of it to make sure he doesn't end up spilling his drink all over the floor by accident. however, that almost happens when he chokes on his drink when he hears someone whisper in his ear: "woo anybody yet?"

he turns to his left to be met with jaemin, the one who had abandoned him to go make out with someone, which was quite evident from the red lipstick marks on his neck and how his lips look more red than usual. he takes note at how messed up jaemin's pink locks are, and rolls his eyes at his friend's antics. "no, I haven't 'wooed' anybody yet unlike you, jaem."

jaemin chuckles as he clinks his cup with donghyuck before taking a long swig of his drink. donghyuck did not doubt that there was some sort of alcohol in that cup, as jaemin would occasionally stumble a bit over his own 2 feet. "damn right I did. you should've seen her, man. she was all over me, and she was such a great kisser, too, oh my gosh. I just had to come over here and tell you about it." he boasts, and donghyuck can see his cheeks lightly turn pink as he rambles on about his little make out.

"...well? what happened to the girl?"

jaemin’s face slightly falls after donghyuck asks that question. "oh. I said something about exchanging numbers and eventually going on a date and scared her off. once I said that she quickly made an excuse as to why she had to leave and ran off."

donghyuck laughs as he leans against the counter beside jaemin, his eyes wandering back over to where you were to see a guy making his way up to you. his breath hitches as he watches him snake an arm around your shoulder, bringing you closer beside him. donghyuck zones in on the both of you, and he hate how he can feeling jealousy pool into his veins the longer he stares down the guy beside you, and if it wasn’t for jaemin waving a hand in donghyuck’s face and saying “earth to donghyuck?” a thousand times, he would’ve been in a trance for hours.

he shakes his head as jaemin furrows his eyebrows at his friend’s suspicious behavior, and takes it upon himself to see what was up. his eyes settle on a tall, dark-haired guy with his arm wrapped around someone, and he lets out a little “oh” and the sight. he swivels around to face donghyuck with a teasing grin on his face, and this is another reason as to why donghyuck just wants to leave this disaster of a party. “well... does little hyuck have a crush on someone? hm~?” he scoots closer next to his friend, whose face resembled a tomato with how flustered he was right now.

he swats away at his friend’s hand that was pinching his cheek, rolling his eyes once again at his friend’s antics and poking his tongue onto the inside of his cheek. “well, thanks for giving me another reason to go back and hibernate in my dorm room for the night, jaem. now if you excuse me, I’m leaving now. see ya.”

he takes a step towards the entrance before jaemin’s arm is latched onto his. “wait! hyuck, I’ll help you get their attention. come here.” he insists and places both of his hands on donghyuck’s shoulders before jaemin leads him in your direction.

donghyuck’s eyes go wide at how persistent jaemin was, and he whispers: “no, jaem, stop it. that guy is still right there beside them.” however, jaemin is too focused on getting donghyuck to woo someone tonight, especially someone who he’s attracted to, and doesn’t process his words until the two of them are standing close by you.

“ahem.” jaemin clears his throat, and donghyuck wants to just disappear right then and there as your head turns towards him and jaemin, and the guy beside you practically glares down at him and donghyuck as his arm slightly tightens around your shoulder. your eyes meet jaemin before glancing over to donghyuck, and you’re temporarily awestruck by how his eyes seemed to glimmer when the two of you met eyes. it takes you a minute to realize that that’s not what you’re here for, to be drawn to any guy that has a fashion sense and is pretty attractive. you didn’t have the time in your busy schedule to fawn over boys who would just steal your heart and run away with it.

“yes?” you question, an eyebrow raised as your eyes gloss over donghyuck’s facial features and the prominent eyebrow piercing that seemed to make him even more attractive than before. you momentarily forget that the guy that you’ve been romantically talking to is standing right by your side, his left arm possessively wrapped around your shoulder. your friends are having their own fun somewhere else, feeling bored after these two random guys came up to you and ruined the party for them. however, you knew that if they gave these two guys a chance, they would fall head over heels for them. both of them were your friends type, and even though that may be the case, it seemed that one of the guys only had eyes for you.

jaemin nudges donghyuck, and you hold back a smile as you see the dark-haired boy roll his eyes at his friend, clearly annoyed at what situation his friend had involved him in right now. “well, my friend over here, named donghyuck, has been eyeing you all night, so I think it’s safe to say that he has the hots for you. I mean, I even caught him in the act earlier! he wouldn’t stop staring at you with hearts in his eyes–”

jaemin is interrupted with a swift jab to the side of his stomach from donghyuck’s elbow, and he doubles over as donghyuck gives you a small smile. “well, if you’ll excuse us two, I will be escorting this pretty boy back to the kitchen so he can sober up.” he gives you and the intimidating guy beside you a nod before wrapping jaemin’s arm around his shoulder and lugging him back to the kitchen. you watch as he does so, your eyes never leaving his figure as some of you hoped that he would actually ask you to dance with him.

“jaem, did you just lose your fucking mind back there?! what the fuck were you planning to happen when you told them that?!” donghyuck whisper-shouts to jaemin when the two of them are back in the kitchen, making sure he’s out of your sight as he turns his back towards you. although he was mildly upset at how jaemin basically exposed his thoughts about you right in front of your face, he was also the tiniest amount of hopeful that you would come barging in here to get to know him more. however, that isn’t likely to happen as donghyuck glances back in your direction, to see you laughing up a storm with the tall guy beside you.

he can feel his heart clench in hurt and disappointment as he turns back to jaemin, just to see that his friend has abandoned him once again this evening. of course, he wasn’t really surprised at the fact that jaemin had disappeared as soon as he had gotten a hold of him, but he just wished that at least one of his other good friends were here. like jeno, who would just joke around for hours and maybe even attempt to try a kegstand. he was always the life of the party, and everyone would seem attracted to him like magnets wherever he would be.

donghyuck yawns as he taps on his phone, checking the time once again to see that an entire hour had gone by. it also didn’t help that he had another reason to leave the party, which was because of his failed interaction with you earlier. he had only spoken one sentence to you during that entire interaction earlier, and he honestly just wanted to slap himself in the face at how awkward he could be around attractive people sometimes. at this rate, all he wanted to do was distract himself and his terrible ability to flirt with people by playing rounds and rounds of Overwatch until he eventually passed out.

before leaving, he makes sure to fill up his blue solo cup up until the brim with coca cola one last time, and also makes the mistake of glancing back over at you to see you all cozied up with the guy from earlier. he couldn’t say he wasn’t surprised, honestly, but he can’t help but to hang his head down on his walk all the way back from the frat party back to his dorm room.

that night, although he was busying himself with playing Overwatch and drinking red bulls until his head spun, he still couldn’t help himself from replaying different scenarios in his head if he had actually asked you to dance with him. would you have been cocky? teasing? frivolous, maybe? he can imagine your elated expression as he busts out some terrible dance moves, and he can almost hear what your laugh would sound like in his head. he hated that he actually blushed at the thought of how beautiful your laugh would sound to his ears, and he proceeds to log off of his computer before burying himself underneath his covers.

that was the one and only chance he had to ask you to dance, because every night after that eventful night that he had decided to attend jaemin’s frat parties, you were never to be seen. even when he tried searching for you, walking in and out of every room more than once, he could never find you after that night, and even though donghyuck expected many things, this wasn’t one of them.

every night after he had gotten back underneath his covers after partying until unholy hours of the night, he would always remember how he failed to ask you, the only person who he was remotely interested in, to dance with him and forget all of your worries together. he was really an idiot, he thought to himself every night before he drifted off to sleep.