#i want to move in with her whhyyyy

[hellsite-detective]

Can you find the post where it says "I'm a lesbiab" reblogged by the same person w "lesbiam" "less bien" and then sm1 else says "it's ok take your time" and op then just responds with "girls" (I have only seen it in screenshots)

once again, the tumblr search functionality was failin' me. i had done this post before, but apparently searchin' for "lesbiab" on my blog doesn't yield the results i, and many others, were lookin' for. so, i dug through my logs and tracked down the original post.

here you are! as is tradition, i've linked the original case file explainin' how i found it, as well as the post itself. have a great day!

Post Case: Closed

[thoughtslikeocean]

March 3, 2024 5:07 PM

Back to vent. I know all of this won't be a big deal in the long run. But as we know all emtions need to be felt, vented and worked through as they say...

WHHYYYY did my mom go and call my dad and ask him for money to help with the repairs of the house. It really made me mad for multiple reasons.. 1. If and when I need it, I know how to ask myself. 2. This wasn't exactly the best timing to be asking my dad for money. 3. I already knew how he was going to feel about giving me lump sums of money without be having a secure income. 4. This is a project that my mom and I decided on. So to make decisions and expect someone else to financially pitched in when they had nothing to do with it is kind of insane.

I'm not mad at my dad for anything he said, im mad that the conversation even had to be had. It was unnecessary. Soooooo nowwww, I have to play damage control once again.

Starting with, I'll allow dad to help me pay for the engineer report but in that same conversation , I'm gonna let him know that any money I am in dire need of, I will let him know. If you get any requests from my mother, just say "okay, I'll talk to Kailey about it". My focus at this time isn't this house, it's getting licensed nationally so I can start working in my field. Once that happens, I can transition back to thinking about the home.

I don't think i'm going to tell my mom anything because I just don't think she'll have the depth to understand. She'll still low-key on a revenge plot over the years she's raised me and "all the money she put in". She still feels slighted. Hasn't let go. And in situations like these, this is where it tends to show it's head. It's not my job to help her through that. Just like it's really not my job to manage the expectations between the both of them. I'm however doing it in this case to make sure the relationships I have with them remain intact. I'm saving myself. Right now, that means letting dad know that what she call and says or asks for (as it relates to me), need to have conversation with me about it. It'll give me peace of my mind on his end.

As for her, I'm going to get the engineering report. And once it comes back with all the million things that need to be fixed. I will be letting her know that I can't do anything with the actual house until RE is up and running/I have better income than currently. If she decides that she wants to move forward, then she can continue to make all the decisions for the house.

So what's my next steps now that I've gotten that off my chest? One foot in front of the other. Crossing bridges when I get there.

Well for one. I'm gonna finish smoking this blunt.

-I'm going to put on some worship music and pray

-I'm going to lock up next door

-Then I'm going to go inside and clean my room and bathroom, and unload that box (Maybe throw in a load of laundry)

-Make some tea and plan your meals for this week (This might include you going to the grocery store tonight, just push through if so)

-Prepare for gym in the morning.

You got this Kailey. This is just a minor setback and you're in need of redirection. You know what's important. Set your eyes back on that.

Now lets get to it!

[psychomaeve]

fem!shouyou & wakatoshi siblingssss

-they became siblings because Hinata’s mother married Ushijima’s dad when Hinata was 5 years old and Ushijima’s 8. Natsu is born sometime later.

-Hinata’s biological father has died when she was around 2 years old so she barely remembers him. Ushijima’s parents are divorced when he was 4 and because his dad is always traveling because of his job he was always with his mother but that doesn’t mean that they are not close in fact the love for volleyball came from his dad. his parents are still in a good relationship because they want Ushijima to have a happy life. And when Hinata’s mother and Ushijima’s father got married they invite ushijimas mother to the wedding. their respective mothers got along so well also that co-parenting included shouyou. the fact that Ushijima’s mother always wants a daughter.

-their parents met in brazil and boom shakalaka they started dating of course with permission from Hinata,wakatoshi, and somewhat from Ushijima’s mother.

-Hinata likes wakatoshi at first sight and vice versa, they treat each other as siblings from the start.

-Hinata likes watching beach volleyball near their house and fell in love with volleyball in general when she met her stepdad and brother.

-the first thing that wakatoshi did when she met Hinata is to teach her volleyball. his dad joined them because he feared that he might accidentally hurt Hinata.

-she started training beach volleyball at 7 and go pro at 11. And like her brother she goes hella crazy and spike balls that can tear your arms off.

-She becomes well known in Brazil with the nickname of ninja shouyou.

-Another similarity between these siblings is their bluntness and arrogance but Shouyou’s arrogance is toned down than Ushijima’s. they know that their win is absolute. they want to find out who will win if they clash with each. they never care if one is a girl and shorter and younger than the other. But outside of volleyball, they coddle each other privately (for Ushijima. but even in public, you will not see them 10 meters apart if they are in the same country. cause did you see his sister .that girl can replace the sun and can turn heads wherever she goes. But then Hinata’s be like ‘no you are the attractive siblings’.)

-Shouyou grew up as an attractive teen. Lean muscle acquired from training, slightly tan skin because of the sun, and the most gorgeous and cutest face. like hello, stop being perfect. but shes still small and tiny.

-But while Ushijima is a perfect example of a stoic gentleman aside from his arrogance, Hinata Shouyou is a crazy piece of shit. she does just for her own amusement that Ushijima just can’t stop her that he signs himself as the lookout and the apologizer. and it gets worse when shouyou met another crazy person named tendou satori. together they cause havoc.

-but there are times that Hinata stops Ushijima to make someone cry from his blunt speech called ” why some people suck, and why that group includes you.”

-But Hinata also likes to do that speech but with sunshine and flowers surrounding her background that it feels like an honest critique and not petty insults from her. it got worse if they tag team, grown men will cry.

-Mother Hinata suddenly wants to move to Japan when shouyou is 15 and Natsu is 8 because she wants Natsu to embrace his family’s culture.

-And as a Hinata shouyou move, she begs her mom to tell her older that they will leave Hinata behind because of her career and that Hinata herself wants it that way(tell me whhyyyy~~~aint nothing but a heartbreak) and she will stay with her coach's family.

-This works because Wakatoshi’s school is a boarding school. they only leave to go home if there are holidays.

-because she believes that men and women should be equal she searches for a co-ed volleyball club and lo and beholds Karasuno Volley Club is a co-ed team.

-she transfers midway through the school year. so anytime between inter-high and the Tokyo training arc. (also the fact I love Bokuto and Hinata’s relationship. these two birds should be unleashed and at the same time be protected)

-and she enters the gain a lot of friends cause you know she’s Hinata. and by the permission of the vice-principal and Takeda Sensei she enters the volleyball club.cue op playing.

-they like her instantly and easily treat her as a younger sibling even if she is the oldest first year. Kageyama still treats her like in canon but more like a bestie and with more respect. She and tsukkishima have more playful bullying with each other. Nishinoya and Tanaka treat her between like their younger brother and like how they treat their manager. Yachi and her are easily seen almost together and Kiyoko is fond of her.

-while Kageyama is easily adjusting in karasuno because of the third year they still can’t always easily hit his usual set but of course, he adjusted them for his team. But while playing with Hinata in his team he accidentally set them faster but hinata is already there hitting his set. thus Karasuno freak duo was born.

[hotshot-deserves-more-love]

Teddy Lupin x reader

kinda bad, but I'm never gonna have the balls again sooo @coldairballoons a/n reader's a slytherin for plots sake/ Teddy is 2 yrs older than canon w/ Beckett being teddys canon age

The Lupin brothers were everything but perfect. Teddy refused to go to a child therapist after their parents died, which led to him developing social anxiety and selective mutism that most people just wrote off as him being the mysterious bad boy.

Beckett was hardly and better than his older brother. Never knowing his parents and only being able to go off of what other people told him, made the metamorphagus develop I.E.D. And for a little while, social detachment disorder.

It wasn't until teddy was in his sixth year, Becket in his fourth, that one of them had taken interest in something other than their studies.

Y/N Hooch. Slytherin's pride and joy in C.O.M.C classes. With their muggle style and pet niffler constantly curling up on their shoulder, it's quite hard to miss the fourth year in the first place.

But nevertheless, Teddy had somehow managed to never be in the presence of one of Slytherin's prized students. That is, until an advanced care of magical creatures class.

Teddy was standing in the back of the group, observing hagrid from afar as he showed them how to properly take care of an occamy. He could hardly hear what the professor was saying, but it was likely he'd just go over the course material in his free time.

Although, it did catch him off guard when he was scratching his neck, only to be called to be a volunteer (a/n whhyyyy), not quite understanding for what. Walking in long strides, he reached the middle of the clearing, standing next to the occamy nest, hoping for an explanation.

"Do we have another volunteer?" Hagrid's voice practically rumbled throughout the trees.

Multiple people raised their arms in the air, hoping for a chance to learn more about the boy who managed to get through almost his entire time at Hogwarts with others only knowing his name and direct family.

The part giant was about to call on a student when y/n burst through the crowd, chasing after their niffler who managed to get out of her bag.

Shocked, the 6'2 metamorphagus froze as the small creature started to climb up his pant leg.

By the time y/n had managed to reach them, Ned had reached Teddy's shoulder, pawing at the silver pendant the hung loosely around his neck.

Gently taking the niffler off of the older male, they sheepishly looked at Hagrid, giving him a silent apology.

"How about you accompany Mr.Lupin on his trip to the library for the 'Fantastic beasts and where to find them: Vol. 2 books, y/n." Nodding, they turned to start walking towards the castle, when Teddy tugged on their rolled up sleeve.

He gave her a small smile along with the silver pendant her pet was adamant on having. It felt odd to only have the poorly knotted tie around his neck, but if it meant that the creature would stay out of trouble for awhile, he didn't mind.

Mumbling their thanks, y/n started the walk back to the castle.

-

When the two reached the library, y/n persuaded Ned to crawl back into her bag with a galleon, sneakily taking the pendant out of his grasp. Handing it back to the sixth year, she entered the large room.

Teddy trailed behind them, looking at the books flying from every direction.

Distracted by one of the charms textbooks getting confused, he bumped into his partner, not noticing they had stopped.

The books were on the top shelf and weren't budging despite they're attempts to get them down

"Do you mind if I - uhm," y/n gave up on finishing the sentence. Instead, making a motion for them to get on his shoulders.

Understanding what they meant, he eagerly nodded, hoping to make up for his lack of a verbal response.

Crouching down, Teddy held out an arm to help them climb onto his shoulder blades. Waiting a few seconds to make sure they wouldn't fall off at the slightest movement, he started to slowly stand up, hands now securely holding their thighs.

After a couple grunts from above his head, books started to float down onto the table in front of the pair.

Once all the books were stacked on the table, y/n looked downwards, attempting to grab the older boy's attention. Realizing just looking at him wouldn't work, they flicked the top of his head.

Teddy's hair turned to a bright shade of Orange in shock, before following their train of thought and helping them move to the oak table.

When the two realized that y/n wouldn't be able to get back on the floor without falling, they blushed deeply out of embarrassment.

"Can you help me down?" The question was barely above a whisper and they refused to make eye contact.

With a crooked and welcoming smile, he nodded before moving his hands to their hips. As he hoisted them up, they wrapped their arms around his neck to stabilize themself.

Unfortunately, as soon as the tips of their toes touched the floor, Madame pince whirled around the corner, ready to give the two a lecture on being loud in a room that's supposed to be quiet, when she saw their 'compromising' position.

It didn't help that neither of them were in full uniform, both opting for only the button up, tie, and bottoms. Nor the fact that his hands were still on their waist, hardly hiking up their shirt, but still enough to show skin.

Regaining her composure, the library keeper started to go off on pda in a room full of younger students.

Eventually, she let them off with a warning and returning to whatever she was doing before.

Letting out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding, Teddy turn to look at y/n only for them to shove books into his arms and yank their bag off the table before rushing towards the door, dragging him behind them.

-

Y/n was sitting at the slytherin table in the great hall eating their dinner when a second year Ravenclaw walked up to them.

"Is it true about you and Teddy?" They were already confused about who this girl was, but found it even more odd that she referred to him by his first name. After all, he wasn't very close with people from other houses

"I don't mean to be rude, but who are you, and what are you talking about?" Victor Wood (a slytherin no one expected), butt his way into the conversation.

"Victoire Weasley...Teddy's girlfriend." She crossed her arms with an odd sense of confidence.

The fifth year seeker quirked his eyebrow at the girl's response.

"You look a little young to be 'dating' a sixth year."

This caused her to falter for a moment before regaining her confidence once again.

"I don't want to interrupt, but what's true about me and Teddy?" Y/n's attempt at bringing the conversation back to its starting point seemed to work when both people turned to look at them.

Victoire scoffed

"Did Madame pince catch the two of you snogging in the library?" The second year sounded as if what she said was the most casual thing in the world.

"W-what!? No!"

Victoire scanned her upperclassmen before stalking back to the ravenclaw table.

The two friends sat in silence for a couple minutes before Victor spoke up.

"Sooo...Is it true?" Groaning in response, y/n slammed their head onto the placmat in front of them.

The male let out a chuckle before rubbing their back in soothing circles, hoping to prepare her at least a little bit for the onslaught of questions they were going to receive tomorrow.

A/n: Will post the rest, but I'm copying from my laptop onto mobile so it's taking long to do

[hazelmule]

Ep 7 and 8

* uh, no, Nenneke? Geralt has been too trusting with leaving Ciri in the care of others.

* oh, nicely done with Ciri's trail of collateralish damage

* a mouse name!

* "this is how this works" they crammed so much Jaskier into those 3ish minutes, a delight!

* excellent Yarpen entrance

* oooh, I like Fringilla's bit with her uncle.

* I ... keep liking Fringilla more?

* ah, this season is full on all about parenting! Beautifully done!

* whhyyyy give Jaskier a job he can't be expected to do? I mean, you dont have many options, but not fair man.

* how the f are they making it around the continent so fast? I do not like this

* Geralt says no to co-parenting

* oh, ok, good reason to have extra Witchers. But isn't it summer now? Why are they all still at Kaer Morhen?

* okay, sure, let Jaskier sleep through it all!

* sheeeeit, Cahir is EVIL. Emhyr's generals must be devious.

* parenting, parenting, it's all about, parenting! (And coming to terms with the parenting you've experienced)

* ok Francesca is the worst.

* will the same actor play Emhyr and Duny?

* nooooo Yennefer! I wanted the sacrifice move from Vesemir!

* sweet Wild Hunt moment.

* so, Voleth Muir ... healed Yen, before she jumped ship before the Wild Hunt? And everyone expected this? Or no?

* ooh, they're keeping the Redanian intelligence angle, spicy

* co! parenting!

* you're no Gandalf, Geralt. No inspirational speeches there

* yeeees, Emhyr reveal

* nice trapping of Cahir, Fringilla, though it was for naught

* okay, the actor is too ... I'm not convinced he's emperor enough, but he hasn't really gotten a chance to play the emperor yet to be fair

* why the ad for blood origin, too jarring

So - some good stuff in both eps, but ep 8 was doing a lot of plot work at the end. Which is important! But if you already know about Emhyr, there's no emotional umph in the last 15 minutes, which is disappointing.

Also, this season is 1200% about parenting. May try to write it up.

Now I can unblock witcher spoilers! Hooray!

[queenharumiura]

💐

Valentine’s day memes: [x] Send me…💐: A playlist for our muses ||No longer accepting||

Putting this under readmore for reasons. The ‘we know that Neo talked too much again, huh? That’s why she’s using the readmore’ reasons. 

Note: It’s supposed to be a playlist for both of our muses so I guess it’s like a playlist that kinda sums up their relationship kind of a thing? I’ve never really made playlists before, so this meme is making me do so for the first and second time. Sorry if it’s no good. I tried. This playlist will reflect something that Haru put into a playlist for herself to listen to. 

So this playlist of hers will kinda be all over the place. I think there are themes of her being in denial, coming to terms with her feelings, some feelings of feeling invisible that comes from her onesided feelings of Tsuna, and also just some of her creative imagination--- we know how she can be when she’s in ‘love’. She gets very creative with her puppy love thoughts. 

Namimorianthem (by Hibird/Mi-chan) – There is no video really for that so whoops nolink Anyways. I mean, is it a surprise that it’s here? NamimoriMiddle school is such a big part of Hibari’s life that ironically she’d put itin there. It means a lot to Haru as well since that’s the school that all herfriends went to. It’s at that age that she met everyone. She’s come across manydangerous times and things, but she loves her friends. There may be someregrets every now and again, but she wouldn’t turn around and change it. Shecan’t imagine a life if she hadn’t met them. She treasures her friends a lot,so the anthem (as lame as it is to put in a playlist) will have a spot in herplaylist.

What hurts the most (Cascada) - Just the beginning of the song relates a bit to how Haru feels after getting affiliated with the mafia. It’s tough being alone and being left to wait. The song itself sounds pretty romantic, but Haru translated this song about feeling pain about watching the guys going off to do something dangerous. There’s been many a time she wanted to tell them ‘don’t go’ or ‘why do you have to do this?’ This especially was evident in the TYL arc during the choice arc. Haru and Kyoko wanted to hold the guys back, but instead of saying what they truly wanted to say, they bit their tongues and wished them luck. Instead of this song being sad about what could have been (love), she interprets the song to reflect how she feels when she knows everyone is going off into a danger zone. She’s fine with being left alone. She won’t mind if she’s not treated the best. You can scare or or say mean things to her. You can try to keep her in the dark about things, but nothing will hurt more than being left behind. Having to stay behind and... wait. Anxiously waiting to be told: Someone died. Of course, though Hibari scares her a lot, she still cares about him. She knows he’s strong, but shit happens, yanno? It’s like the stronger someone is, the more they are targeted. She worries about him too when the guys go off into battle. She worries for everyone. 

Invincible (Kelly Clarkson) - This song relates to her one-sided feelings for Tsuna. She was hurt and probably cried a lot, alone. Seeing the way he only paid attention to Kyoko, it made her feel invisible and not as important. She took some time to collect her thoughts and fix her broken heart. After she cried all her tears all alone, she’ll pull herself back together. She’ll be strong and she won’t let it hurt her anymore. That’s what this song means to her. How does this relate to our muses? Well, I could say something like: ‘Well after moving on fro Tsuna she’d likely look somewhere else, right?’ though really I think that it’s an uplifting song for her. If she made a playlist relating to Hibari and her ‘relationship’ with him, a song that relates to her moving away from Tsuna is important to that. Cannot forget about the fact that the title is ‘invincible’ and who would give off that kind of an image? Hibari. Who coincidentally is someone who could make Tsuna cower a lot throughout the series? Hibari. So it’s almost a subconscious notion of: I need to get onto Hibari’s level. I can’t let myself be weak and succumb to the sadness. I should support my friends. It hurts, but I do treasure my friends and if Tsuna-san loves Kyoko and she likes him back, i’ll congratulate them-- no matter how much it hurts me. When I get strong enough and have an invincible heart, I can truly be happy for them from the bottom of my heart. 

Scars to your beautiful (Alessia Cara) - Another song that relates to her feelings post-Tsuna. She tried really hard to get him to like her, to look at her. She was training hard to be a ‘Yamato Nadeshiko’ to be the best ‘mafia bride’ she could be for him. He never really looked at her in favor of Kyoko. After some time of that and realizing how she had no chance at all, it hurt her deep. It started to make her start to question herself. Is there something wrong with her? Is she that undesirable? Once she reaches this stage, she would start to reflect on things. Start to remember things and connect some dots. Remember all the times that Tsuna tried to push her aside or her feelings aside so Kyoko wouldn’t get the wrong idea. The many times she’d try to do something for him and he wouldn’t appreciate it very much, but his tone would change when he found out that Kyoko was also involved in her plans. She’d feel very invisible, unlikable, and just--- worthless. She’s a prideful girl who has a lot of self-worth and self-love, but she is also young and very impressionable. I still think about the ‘Are you really looking at Haru?’ ‘Did you change your lipgloss?’ It kills me all the time. She asked him straight out like omg my baby girl. Of course she’s not dense enough not to notice. She knows but she was still trying her best and she’s realizing that it’s not really going anywhere. 

I won’t say i’m in love (Disney Hercules movie) - I mean the title alone should be enough to explain that this is a song of ‘denial,’ eh? Now, Hibari is ‘surprisingly’ (Haru’s thoughts, don’t look at me) considerate, and that probably caught her interest. Like, wow, someone is actually paying attention to Haru. I’m sure that like previously mentioned she had a bit of emotional and self-confidence issues to deal with after her first puppy love kinda thing. Ahhh young teenagers, yanno? ANYWAYS, I’m very sure there was also a feeling of alienation at times because everyone else was in Namimori. She was the only one that wasn’t. So she could understand when she thought about it logically that people would care for Kyoko more. One of the guardians is her brother, and it’s obvious who Tsuna has a crush on. So he pays attention to her, as does Gokudera as the possible future wife of Juudaime or whatever. So the fact that he’d consider her by returning favors by means of White day gifts or getting her birthday presents and the like would be very surprising to her. She wouldn’t have believed it (if you recall from the first few attempts where she thought it was a trap). He is considerate and he’s got very cute animal friends. A person who is the friend of animals must be a good person, even if they’ve got some violent tendencies. So she may start to form an interest in him from that. I don’t know how credible we think of the Haru interview shorts, but she did say she likes someone who is a bit dangerous and aggressive. I laugh. Certainly, Hibari is ‘dangerous-desu’. Aggressive is definitely also in the equation. Now, she’d already gotten over Tsuna but now she is starting to feel something for Hibari? That would make her seem very easy to move on, no? Thus the denial phase. Also, I mean, he’s a violent ‘hooligan’ so of course she can’t like him... right? She does know he’s not just a ‘violent hooligan’ as she’d term it, but she’s trying really hard not to fall for another person so easily after Tsuna. She has to learn her lesson eventually, yanno? With the lyrics of the song, in the end, she does admit to it and accepts it. So it’s a song that pretty much sums up that part of her feelings.

Listen to your Heart (DHT) - Somewhere down the line, she accepted her feelings and has to come to terms with needing to learn to listen to her heart once more. It led her down the wrong path, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it will be the same this time. Though when one thinks of Hibari, you don’t really think of a person who is easily capable of romantic feelings. He’s such a... a... fightophile for a lack of a real word that I can think of. lol So really, she starts to question herself. Did you really start liking Hibari-san? WHHYYYY? Don’t you realize that this seems like even more of a final boss stage than Tsuna was? Can she really trust her heart? Can she really try to keep her feelings like this? So this is a song where she’s accepted her feelings, but she tries to really actually think about it. It’s not like that puppy love thing she had with Tsuna where she didn’t truly try to think of everything. She loved the idea of being in love. She daydreamed a lot, glorifying things. Here, it’s like she’s learned and matured just a bit in regards to the subject of love. Here with this song, it signifies the time when she started to question things. She’s already ready to say goodbye to him. Not like literally, but the love of him she started to harbor if that makes sense at all. So she’s basically preparing herself to say goodbye to this love that she already thinks isn’t going to last very long given his nature. She doesn’t think that it would really go anywhere. So she’s accepting that to hopefully lessen the pain. 

What is love (V Bozeman) - So here is another song of questioning love. It’s just a lil bit different. Here, she’s gone past the phase of her wondering why it is she started to have feelings for him. After she started to have doubts, she’d only have to investigate. She’s an intelligent girl despite her odd actions. She is pretty scholarly, doing her father proud, i’m sure. She does like to test people a lot, like she did with Tsuna a couple of times. I don’t know if she’d so much test Hibari, but she would observe him a lot. I’m sure she’d learn a few things she didn’t know about him before. Just how tender he can be with his animals. See that though he’s scary and dangerous, it does stem from a strong sense of duty and responsibility in a way. He may be violent and thirsty for a fight, that doesn’t mean he’ll fight and hurt everyone. He won’t just start hitting babies/children for no reason. Reborn is an outlier and thus doesn’t count. He doesn’t really show many instances of hurting females either. Adel--- I mean, she’s strong? She had the ability to fight. She was prepared for the battle and it’s only right to fight someone who is determined and has the will to fight till the end. I figure it’s a respect kinda thing and also hello strong person let’s fight. There is a bit more to him than one would think initially. Thinking on this, it gives him more of a dimension. Then you also think about the fact that he’s been kind to her. Sure there’s been times he’s scared her, but there were also many a time he was pretty nice(?) to her as well. He’s not as bad as she thought he was originally. Is he still capable of falling in love with someone? Debatable. Still, by now, she’s not as against the idea of falling for him. It’s not like after she fell out of love with Tsuna that her standards went down. Yes, he’s scary and violent, but there is more to him than that. He’s got honor to him. He repays his debts. He protects those who are weak and the honor of his school. That’s respectable and she does like that about him. So really, what is love? She should already know that there is like a 0.00000001% chance that he could fall in love with her, but why do her feelings persist? Why can’t she give up? Why is it that though they aren’t romantically involved it hurts her when they’re not together. It hurts when he goes on a dangerous mission. If he ever gets hurt, it pains her too. What. Is. Love. A mysterious emotion that still, evades her and causes her pain. Still, she’d already accepted her low chances from the start. She loves him, but from the beginning she’d already known it wouldn’t go anywhere. With Tsuna, she thought with hard work she had a chance. With Hibari, she’s already given up on the idea that there is a chance. At this point, she’s fine with just having these one sided feelings and basically be an admirer. She’s fine with that. 

Unconditionally (Katy Perry) - I guess this song kinda just sums up her feelings on a general level. She may have come to love him, and she’ll do so unconditionally. There is nothing that she needs from him in return. He doesn’t need to return any feelings as she’s already given up on that part. I feel like he would have realized her feelings by this point but I don’t think he’d outright mention it? I feel like he’d just ignore it, and not really do anything about it. It’s not like she’d been trying to do anything. After the Tsuna thing, i’m sure she’s learned to not try to push her feelings out there too much. So the very opposite of last time, instead of pushing her feelings out and letting it be known to the world, she’s keeping it in. She’s internalizing it. Perhaps it’s a bit of a complex after how the last love of hers turned out. She doesn’t feel so comfortable with being so open about it. It also goes back to the whole ‘I can’t believe I moved on from Tsuna-san to one of his guardians’ idea. There is a bit of shame there, I won’t lie.Maybe by the time this song became relevant enough to be added to the playlist, she’d gotten more comfortable being around Hibari, getting a bit closer to him. It could be a one-sided thing. Who knows. Though it was mentioned in the tags of the vday thing for this year that Haru does know how to brighten his day, though he refuses to admit to it. That alone leaves me to believe that their relationship can get to the point that the two come to respect each other and somewhat enjoy each other’s presence. Maybe he won’t look at her and think of her as a nuisance. Maybe she could become a person who he could see in a positive manner. Perhaps Haru has learned even more things about him. Things that many don’t know about him. Who knows? She’s quite the observant little thing and she’s all about having theories and such, after all. Let’s be real at this point, she’s already started theorizing about him, character and all. Why is it that he’s the way he is? Maybe there is more meaning to a lot of his actions? Things like that. By now, she’s comfortable with the idea that she loves him, and is fine with the way things are now. It doesn’t have to go past this. She understands that it would be a difficult thing to bring love into things, especially when the Mafia is involved. It’s dangerous and she’s not much of a fighter. I do HC that she’d eventually try to learn but still I don’t think it’d be an easy learn for her and it would take time. A romance can be a tragic one and she wouldn’t want to put him through that, so she wouldn’t pursue it. Ouch I hurt myself. 

More than words (Maaya Sakamoto) [lyric]- The only Japanese song of the bunch lol. I personally like this song and I think the song sounds pretty. The lyrics are interesting to me as well as the sound of the song itself. It’s very calming and beautiful. To me, it sounds like a song that Haru came to like because it reflects her calm. She’s long since accepted her feelings. She understands a bit more of Hibari than she did to start. She knows that he is not the best kind of person for her. It’s a dangerous love for one, two, he’s not one who is very open with his emotions, and more thoughts, but somehow she finds the feelings she has for Hibari to be soothing to her somehow. Since she’s not really trying to get anything out of it (don’t get me wrong it still hurts her, obviously), but there is a lot less stress when compared to how things were with Tsuna. It’s more relaxing. It’s sort of liberating. The song is light and free sounding, kind of like her feelings on the matter. There are points of the song that sounds a bit sad, and it’s not hard to understand why. It’s a slow and sort of reminiscent sounding to me. Like a Haru that is reflecting on her feelings while in her room, sipping on a cup of tea. I mentioned before there is a bit of her romantic fantasy kinda stuff in here right? It relates back to her ‘theorizing’ things. How she thinks that there is another side to him that people don’t know of. Having freedom is painful for not only herself but possibly also for him. There are questions she wants to ask him. Why are you so obsessed with the school? Why are you so hung up on regulations? Is it a compensation for something? Why are you so against people crowding around you?Is it possible that something happened to you that made you close your heart? Did you lose someone? Did someone betray you? Are you just a socially awkward person who doesn’t know how to relate to other people? Is violence the only thing you know? Is that all you were given? Is the freedom you have now that comes from your displays of violence a throw back to your own life at home? Did you have a tyrannous upbringing? He’s a pretty traditional guy and when you think about the house he lives in, it’s possible he was raised very strictly and what not. So parts of the song relates to her feelings, but it also delves into her thoughts about Hibari himself. Could she help him somehow? Does he feel alone? Does he sometimes crave company? Would it be okay if she offered some of her time for him? Is he someone who is hurting and is secretly crying for help? Who knows. He’s a hard one to understand. He’s a very confusing guy. 

BOY DID I TRY. I really tried hard, okay? I really did. I honestly never really made a playlist before. The first one I ever made was for the meme I posted before this one. OTL So yours is the second playlist i’ve ever made-- in my life. I really hope that I did it properly???? Did I do it right? 

I also wasn’t too sure about how to answer the meme. It was a playlist about our muses and it’s like, i’m not too sure about their relationship. When I thought about it, taking into consideration all their interactions to date and filling in the blank spaces with some HC’s on how I think I’d play Haru’s character, I think things could go down this way. 

I do think it’s possible for him to develop feelings for Hibari and maybe as she comes across different songs, she slowly starts to collect songs into her playlist. Ones that make her reflect on her journey of accepting the fact that she fell for him. 

I hope that this was okay. Hopefully I didn’t do anything wrong like making anything too ooc or anything. I wasn’t really sure what to do so I kinda just went with it. I’m sorry, friend. OTL|||||||||||||||||||||||||

Sorry if it wasn’t any good. I did my best. //lays down. I’ve been working on this for so long, i’m so tired. Let me sleep. 

[cassandraclare]

Q&A: WHY?

books-netflix-and-pizza said: Hi, one question. Why?

So, below this cut is a discussion of WHY a character in LoS died. DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVE NOT READ LOS.

catherine-crebbin2001 said:

SPOILER ALERT FOR THOSE WHO HAVE NOT READ LoS Hey Cassie, I have just finished reading Lord of Shadows and I wanted to know if it was always going to be Livvy who died? Did you cry as you wrote the scene or cackle knkwing that your readers would be torn in two and spend hours mourning the death of a child as well as Emma and the Blackthorn children ? How do you come up with the characters names (for all series)? I wanted to know how Morgenstern was a name as it was not on the list in the codex?

ginevre said:

I just finished and I know I must be one of many who is cyring in your in-box but Whhyyyy??? Why did she have to die? Why did you do it? I am so utterly shattered.. please you need to explain. I need closure. I feel a bit like Emma, desperate to know why her parents had to die. I need to know why. Please..

Hello! Yes, of course, this is a question I am getting a lot, and expected to get.

This was always a story in which Livvy died. When I was writing her in CoHF, I knew she would die in Lord of Shadows. I even knew how and where. In a sense Livvy’s death, taking place as it does in the center of the trilogy, is what this story is about.

I often think when I get this kind of question that the “Why did so and so have to die?” has a lot to do with people expecting villains to die and no one else. There are a lot of stories like that. Villains make a lot of poor choices, and often have to be killed in order that their evil be stopped: a death like that is easily understood.  But when someone is innocent, like Livvy, then that’s not a reason: obviously she doesn’t have to be stopped before she blows up the universe. Livvy has done nothing wrong and does not deserve death, so why?

And that’s where I believe there are different kinds of stories. They serve different purposes. There are stories where no one ever dies except the bad people who deserve it, and there are stories where good people die because that is what happens in real life, and one of the most universal experiences humans have is losing someone they loved to death and asking themselves: Why? Why did this happen? Another important human experience we share is when people are killed because of injustice, because their government or someone in power has hurt them, and of course we ask ourselves why and how that could have happened and why would a government do that to its own people, and in a lot of ways those are the questions that drive The Dark Artifices, which are pretty overtly political books.

As for fictional (as in, how does this build the story) reasons Livvy had to die: this is a story about Shadowhunters entering into one of the darkest periods Shadowhunters will ever know. These are people who go out and risk death against demons all the time; they die early and often. Throughout these books the Blackthorns put themselves at risk again and again and again. Livvy is injured at the Shadow Market, almost killed by the Riders: she escapes death barely over and over until at last, she doesn’t. Because if no innocent Shadowhunters ever die, what that says about the story is that in fact the risk is no risk at all, and unless you’re a bad person it doesn’t matter that you’re bravely out there fighting demons. You’ll be fine, as long as you don’t plan a war or a demon invasion.

But that is not this story. Everyone is not safe as long as they make decent choices. Jon didn’t deserve to be killed either, nor did Arthur. Nor did Max or Raphael in TMI, or Jessamine in TID. None of these series have ever protected all the good people, though I understand that Livvy’s is in many ways the most brutal and intimate death we’ve had to witness and that is very hard. Writing Julian and Emma’s reactions was nearly impossible. It doesn’t get easier, even if you know what’s coming and that it has to happen. I’ve been asked “Why not kill Zara, Samantha, Manuel, Jessica, Horace, any of the other awful annoying bigots etc?” Well, partly because that reinforces the idea that you die because you’re bad — which is not much comfort for all of those of us who’ve lost someone we love. We know they didn’t die because they were rotten people, and literature that tells you that they did is the opposite of comforting or realistic. And also because this story is about the Blackthorns; none of those people were important to the Blackthorns, and killing them doesn’t change the Blackthorns’ world at all.

The Blackthorn’s reality has always been structured around the one belief that Julian and all of his siblings (and Emma) live by: that the Blackthorn family must be kept intact, and that there is some way to control that completely. Everything Julian and Emma have done — and the other characters are not exempt, because they all, also, have been part of this — has been about controlling a desperate situation. In fact, they’ve been so good at it that I think, in reading, it’s sometimes easy to forget how fragile their situation is, how it rests on a tower of lies, careful concealments, acting, and pretenses. No one could blame Julian: of course he doesn’t want his family split up and destroyed. But as the Blackthorns move forward in Lord of Shadows they take ever-greater risks until they’re literally in a situation where they’re battling immortal Riders all by themselves and if not for Annabel’s sudden appearance they’d probably all be dead. (Which is a little ironic.)

In other words, they’ve been in an untenable situation that has been held together as long as it has because of Emma’s bravery and Julian’s wits, determination, and skill at manipulating, and everyone — Diana, Cristina, Mark, Ty, Livvy — has helped this situation to continue. The story has been one of watching Team Good carefully balance one block on top of another and then another and then another. And however skilled you are and however good your intentions, eventually the last block will be one too many and the tower will collapse.

This is not a punishment for the Blackthorns. This is not because Julian was wrong and did bad things, nor did any of his siblings (though we have certainly seen that Julian is willing to do just about scarily anything, and his last plan, while brilliant and absolutely would-have-worked-if-Magnus-hadn’t-gotten-sick-which-Julian-could-not-have-foretold, was more than a little terrifying) — this is because the reason they’re in this situation in the first place is because the Clave is rotten at its heart.

The Clave has always been the shadowy secondary villain of these books. They are a government, and like all governments, mostly made up of a mix of people: some good and some bad. However, since TMI — really since the decision to enforce the Cold Peace — the Clave has shown more and more of its bad, reactionary, prejudiced side. And we’ve seen more and more of how their attitudes have affected anyone they see as deviating from a rigidly enforced norm: in Alec’s story, in Helen’s story, in Mark’s, in Diana’s, in Ty’s. The Blackthorns are suffering because of the Clave. They are forced into this impossible position because of the Clave. And when it falls apart explosively, when Livvy is murdered in the Council Hall, there’s a straight line from the Clave’s rigid lack of consideration for their own to her death.

And without her death, the real consequences of the really bad things the Clave has been doing might have been something we knew, but it would not have been something we (or the characters) felt. Will the characters be able to make meaning and change out of Livvy’s death: will this be the event that topples the Clave at last? In the abstract Livvy’s death is above all things a political death: that is why she dead where she did, when she did, and how she did. Great change is often not possible without great loss. That is true for people as well as politics. Without Livvy’s death, the plot and world changes that drive Queen of Air and Darkness wouldn’t have happened; without her death, the character changes that drive Queen of Air and Darkness wouldn’t have happened. This story would not have been this story: it would have been a different, and I believe, lesser story. (I know you will have to wait to see that; I hope you can hang in there.)

This story has always had a gun on the mantelpiece. From book one we’ve known that Malcolm and Annabel’s tale parallels our current story. We’ve known in the end it’s Blackthorn blood. We’ve known that the story of Annabel is one of an innocent person brutalized and killed and that her blood is on Blackthorn hands and on Clave hands. The idea of that death being revenged has hung over the Blackthorns like a scythe since Lady Midnight. Malcolm and Annabel are a mirror to Emma, Jules and the others. It’s easy for them to judge Malcolm for what he’s done, and did, since Annabel’s death: what about when they’re in that same position? Will they make better choices? Can they put away the idea of revenge? Will they be able to be better people than Malcolm and Annabel were able to be? Those are the big questions, and they can only be asked because Livvy died, because in order to make their story an effective mirror of the past, an equally big loss had to be sustained in the present.

It’s painful to read about others’ pain, but that in part is why we have books, because they hold a mirror up to life: they show us people going through what we’ve gone through, they show us that they make it and how they made it, and that matters. As they say: We read to know we are not alone. Livvy’s death will not be glossed over; it will have meaning and more repercussions that can be guessed at now. People are going to say Livvy deserved better, and she did; that’s the point. This is the story of an unjust death (more than one), and how it will reverberate not just through a family but through a society. It was necessary not just to define the shape and theme of the series but to turn all the other characters into the people they’re going to need to be for the rest of TDA and TWP. And it was necessary to change the nature of how the characters related to the Clave. People have long wondered what would be the moment the Clave ceased to be a necessary evil and became the villain of the series in truth: this is the start of that moment of rebellion, and Livvy is its symbol.

Ave atque vale, Livia Blackthorn.

[bitchninthekitchnnn]

Pink Pussy Hat Popcorn

It seems that, no matter how hard we try to avoid it, no matter how much we want to pretend to live in a magical world of rainbows and shit, there it is: our orange ominous cloud of doom; the Commander in Chief.  As I sit in this kitchy San Francisco cafe among all my fellow hipsters watching President Mister Potato Head make an hour long speech out of what could've only been two sentences (as if adding water to an almost empty ketchup bottle makes it the most ketchup-y ketchup ever, and everyone agrees), I can see that those rainbows and shit have gone to a better place.

For those of you just tuning in, here's just one, because, you know, I don't want to completely break your hearts, of the actions our new POTUS is backing up, both tiny hands down for:

He's building a fucking wall.  It's actually happening.  This is no longer a drill.  This action is almost mirroring the construction of the Berlin Wall, said to keep out Fascists and other enemies of the State, while it's real purpose was to keep East Berliners from moving to the West.  As Trump has said (and I'm paraphrasing here), "They took our jahbs!", it seems like there's an underlaying reason that will most likely show it's yuge face sooner or later.

As I sit here, seeing this all go down, I can only imagine that this horror is like watching the schoolyard bully slowly pack an icy snowball, making eye contact and smiling, before hurling it at your face.  We're all just watching, cold and helpless, the growing of our potential doom.  Times are changing, and it doesn't look too optimistic.  Or not, who knows. Meh.

Way too often I have read or watched the news and had a violent urge to flip up tables and scream, "WHHYYYY?!", but this is a society and that, along with shaking people and cursing at televisions in public places, is generally frowned upon.  I guess my last grasp of hope is seeing so many generations stand up and voice their opinions.  I was among the 100k women, men, and children who marched in San Francisco on the 21st last month, with the crowd growing as it grew later.  Did I mention it was fucking raining, too?  I should also mention, that I was not there for the full 5 hours of the march, because well, 5 hours.  I still do to consider myself an activist because I was there, I stood up in solidarity with so many other people for basic human rights...even though I side stepped out because this lady did not prepare for rain. Yet, for every activist, there is someone willing to just give up, lay down, and watch this happen- the civil injustices, racism, bigotry, and flat out ignorance- and, just go, "Meh".  I mean, I feel ya, I'm lazy, too.  There's only so much we can say and do to get everyone involved.  So, I chose a flavored popcorn recipe for those of you who would rather sit down and watch this tragic comedy of a presidency unravel.  I mean, you've read this far, at least you're trying, amiright?

Lucky Elephant Pink Popcorn

           I like this recipe mostly because it’s pink.  With pink being the color for the Women’s March and Valentine’s Day approaching, it seemed fitting.  This popcorn is a common children’s snack in Canada, which is also fitting, being that most of us Americans love to talk about our plans to move there during pretty much every election.  Like Trump’s speeches, it has a light candy coating and, like Trump himself, is very vanilla.

           You can find this recipe all over the internet, so citing it seems irrelevant, they only really vary when it comes to how you pop the popcorn, some suggest an air popper or a stovetop, I suggest a microwave because, as I’ve said before, I’m lazy as hell.  This recipe took me about 10 minutes to make, most of the time was just waiting for the mixture to come to a boil.  I’ve also included a video incase you just don’t feel like reading.

A video posted by M.R.B. (@emarebe) on Jan 26, 2017 at 5:24pm PST

You’ll Need:

 1 bag of popcorn

 2/3 cup of whole milk or half&half

 1 tbsp white corn syrup

 ¼ tsp salt

 2 cups granulated sugar (I used a substitute)

 1 tsp vanilla

 pink food coloring

 baking sheet

Optional (but not really): 1 bottle of wine.

 Let’s get poppin’:

1. Grab your bag of popcorn and throw that shit in the microwave, following the time that’s on the bag. Pour a glass of wine.

 2. Stir milk, corn syrup, and salt together in a saucepan on medium heat. Pour your sugar into the center, without touching the sides of the pan.  Bring the mixture to a boil and stir occasionally until all the sugar is dissolved.  You’re half way there, look at you go!  Sip wine.

 3. Stir occasionally until you see large bubbles in the mixture (shown in the video, it takes about 10 minutes).  Remove from the heat and stir in the vanilla and food coloring.

 4. Here’s the annoying part where you might need an extra set of hands; working quickly, open the bag of popcorn and pour the mixture into the bag, shake that shit up.  I recommend that whoever is holding the popcorn bag wear gloves, because that shit it hot.  Pour the popcorn onto the baking sheet and mix a bit more with whatever you feel like using. Finish your glass of wine while you wait about 5 minutes for the popcorn to set.  Enjoy!

-Melissa Rae Burns

Note from the “editor”:

Melissa is my awesome cousin. I’ve always looked up to her. When family shit hits the wall, she’s the one I call because she fucking understands. She’s always been there to tell me I’m not crazy. We both tend to be the black sheep of the family, trying to make things work when more than often it's plainly not going to go well. 

Melissa is a complete badass. She get’s things done and she does so much! Check out her Instagram, it’s amazing. She has this (stupidly) cute dog that I plan on stealing sometime. Probably when I can actually make the time to come see her, like I’m always hoping to, but never can. This year we actually mailed out x-mas presents to each other, unlike last year when we forgot to do that for a year. -_- progress ladies. Progress is slow. 

If you want to write for this blog, just let me know. You can email me through elle.levy.design@gmail.com or go through the submission page here too. They are both good options. It doesn’t have to be political, I know it’s looking this way, but woof, it’s the elephant in the kitchen. It’s hard to miss. You can also post anonymously too, You just need to let me know or submit it as such on tumblr. 

[scriptaed]

okay so heres whats really happening to yuri, shes gay. think about it yall, shes always behind y/n and everywhere y/n goes, shes there. she got with jungkook and jimin and we all like "thats a bitchy move, shes just trying to make her jealous" but who she trying to make jealous? Y/N!! um hello. she doesnt like jungkook anymore and like listen shes gay i kow she is and she has a thing for y/n. mystery solved :D

GASP can you read my mind...? obviously yuri just sucks at flirting and resorted to dumb tactics to get her attention right? *strokes beard* what an interesting theory HAHA

Anonymous said: Please, do not tell me that this last part of paper hearts was real (part 13). Im crying right now T.T Why do you have to be so good at writing? So i wanted to ask you if you've already decide what's going to be to final ship? I am jungkook biased but damn I desperately want jimin to be happy with the reader 😂 you don't have to tell me the ship (if you don't wang to) but if only you've already made the decision. Keep up the good work💜❣🙈🐼

omg thank you so much!!

Anonymous said: Pt.13 of paper hearts has me dying and screaming out in anger WHHYYYY MUST YOU DO THIS TO ME JIMIN???? (I really love the series though I'm just suffering)

AHHH PARK JIMIN HOW DARE YOU HURT MY BABY JAWE;OIDJj and thank you so much :’))) 

Anonymous said: Ugh I'm feeling so conflicted😭 I want her to be with Jungkook but I also want her to be with Jimin😭

I KNOW RIGHT? THEY BOTH DESERVE SO MUCH LOVE? CAN’T THEY ALL JUST BE HAPPY gosh i want to slap some sense into the author...

[brandonhicksplace]

A Reunion of Lovers

Note: Since 2016, I have written a short play every year for NotableActs, a local theatre festival in Fredericton. This year, when the time to start scrapping up some ideas for one, I was hearing the first rumblings of a tiny little disease going around China called “COVID-something-or-other.” Believing this would probably go the way of the 2009 Swine Flu, I thought, “Wow! This would make great fodder for a silly sketch!” Well, we all know how that turned out. So, I had a completed draft of a play that was no longer performable, nor did it feel particularly appropriate for the times. Still, I think it’s funny enough to share, even if just in written form. I’ve made a few small adjustments, and added more stage-notes than usual to help communicate the humour (generally speaking, I’d put more faith in the actors/directors). Hopefully you get something out of it - I certainly I didn’t. --Brandon Hicks, April 9th, 2020

A REUNION OF LOVERS

A SHORT PLAY BY BRANDON HICKS

DRAFT: MARCH 9TH, 2020

CHARACTERS:

MARTIN: The character played by the male actor.

ELAINA: The character played by the female actor.

……..

[Two actors walk onstage to greet the audience. They are both wearing surgical masks and gloves. The man playing Martin is wearing a sterile, hazmat-style suit, while the woman playing ELAINA appears to be wearing a bathrobe. They speak directly to the crowd directly in a loose, straightforward manner.]

Martin: Hello, everyone. Wow. You actually showed up.

Elaina: Yeah, we’re, uh, frankly a little surprised to see everyone here.

Martin: We’re appreciative, of course.

Elaina: Right. Just…surprised.

Martin: So, um, welcome. This, of course, was supposed to be a performance of our short play, “A Reunion of Lovers.”

Elaina: A romantic interlude in which a middle-aged couple, separated for years by the Second World War, reunite for a single, passionate evening.

Martin: That’s right. Not to give to much away, but both of our characters were forced to move on after they parted. They’re both married, with children, and have only this one night together.

Elaina: The thing is, we started working on this before the, uh…before the virus.

Martin: Yes. Elaina: So…the last, y’know, month or so, we’ve kind of been going back and forth saying, should we cancel it? Should we go on as planned?

Martin: Obviously, the health and safety of our audience is of the utmost concern.

Elaina: We asked ourselves, with the virus spreading so quickly, is it irresponsible of us to ask a group of people to gather together in such close proximity.

Martin: What with everybody coughing and sniffing, and passing around paper programs covered in germs…

Elaina: That’s right. We had to also consider our own safety. This is a romantic play, of course, which means it calls for a great deal of physical contact, and we want to make sure we don’t pass anything on to each other.

Martin: But, ultimately, as the old adage says, “the show must go on!” So, we’ve taken great pains to ensure that we are properly protected, so that we can bring you this emotionally rich, uniquely moving play.

Elaina:: You guys do want to see it, right?

[Prompt an affirmative response from the audience.]

Martin: Great. Okay then. Without further ado, here is “A Reunion of Lovers.”

[The pair make a subtle show of getting into character, and moving into their positions. MARTIN positions himself in front of an invisible door. ELAINA sits and pantomimes sipping tea.]

Martin: [Takes a deep breath] Knock knock.

[ELAINA sits up with a start. Moves towards the door, stops herself, mimes looking into a mirror, and attempts to fix her hair. Clearly disappointed by what she sees, she reluctantly moves toward the door…stops for a moment, contemplating, then opens it. She and MARTIN meet eyes. This is the first time they’ve seen each other in fifteen years.]

Elaina: It’s really you…

Martin: I told you I was coming—I sent a note. I’m sure you must have gotten it…

Elaina: Yes—Yes, I received your letter. Oh, what it wonderful sentiment it held, and after so many years! I can only count my blessings that I was able to sneak it away before my husband found it.

Martin: You did want to see me…didn’t you?

Elaina: Yes…No. Oh, Martin—I just don’t know anymore. What we had was special, but it was so long ago. I’m no longer the person you fell in love with.

Martin: Nonsense…You are as beautiful as the moment I last saw you.

Elaina: [Demurs] Come now. I was but a girl then. Now, I’m an old woman.

Martin: I would take you at twice your age over any other woman half it.

Elaina: Oh darling, hold me!

[The two actors look at each other, a little uncertain. MARTIN awkwardly inches towards her, wraps his arms around her, without touching. Their heads are turned away from each other to ensure they aren’t breathing on the other person’s face.]

Elaina: Oh Martin—I tremble at your touch.

[They hold this position a little bit longer. It is the furthest thing from romantic.]

Elaina: So, um…Let us sit down.

Martin: [A little too loudly] Yes!…Let’s!

[They happily break apart, move to the table, and sit.]

Martin: Elaina…All these years, you have never left my mind. I would dream…Nay, fantasize about taking your beautiful hands into my own…

[At the same time, they remove their gloves, take out a small hand sanitizer bottles and squirt some into their hands. After rubbing it in, they tentatively reach out for one another’s hands…just barely touching with their finger tips.]

Elaina: Like this?

Martin: Yes…precisely like this.

[She leans closer to him.]

Elaina: What else, my darling?

Martin: I wanted to once more look into the blue oasis of your eyes…

[He leans closer to her.]

Elaina: Yes?

[She leans closer.]

Martin: Caress the supple skin of your fair cheeks.

[He leans closer.]

Elaina: [Breathlessly] Yes?

Martin: And kiss…your sweet lips..

[By this point, their faces are nearly touching. ELAINA turns her head slightly and lets out a small cough.]

Elaina: *Ahem*

[MARTIN jumps back as if shocked by an electric current, knocking over his chair and moving far away.]

Martin: What the hell was that!?

Elaina: I was just clearing my throat…[glances at the audience] Uh, darling.

Martin: Oh. Um. Right. Of course. As well you should….So where were we?

Elaina: I believe we were about to engage in…[winces] a gentle embrace.

Martin: Ah. Uh-huh. A gentle embrace. Noooo problem.

Elaina: Mhmm.

Martin: So…You’re cool with…I mean, do I have your permission, my dear, to, uh…plant a small kiss upon thy…[grimaces, gestures emphatically]…lips?

Elaina: [Equally uncomfortable] Yes. Well…yeah. After all, that’s what the sce-…er, situation calls for, isn’t it?

Martin: Good! Good. Can’t wait.

[They stand there for an awkward moment.]

Elaina: So—

Martin: Right! Let us embrace!

[The pair slowly shuffle over to one another, not looking at one another, and stop. About a foot away from one another, facing the audience.]

Martin: Okay.

Elaina: Oh-kay. [Then, slowly—ever so slowly, they begin to turn towards one another. Their eyes are closed, and they both look increasingly reluctant as their faces come closer and closer. At the last second, they put their hands over their own faces, so that the back of their hands are touching, not their masks, and certainly not their lips.]

Both: Mmmm..Mhmm…mmm.

[At the same time, they eagerly break apart and move far away from each other, their backs turned. They both remove masks, squirts sanitizer into their hands, and frantically rub it onto their face and lips. Not satisfied, MARTIN squeezes it directly into his mouth.]

Elaina: [Speaking over her shoulder] I never knew you were such a romantic.

Martin: [With a mouth full of hand sanitizer.] Well, you inspire it in me, my dear. [He spits.]

[This sterilization ritual complete, they turn back to one another. They each make several tentative moves to touch each other/embrace in some way, but ultimately give up, and place their hands by their sides.]

Elaina: Oh, Martin—you inspire such passion in me. Martin: And you, I.

Elaina: [Seductively] Excuse me while I slip into something…more comfortable.

[She allows her robe to fall to the floor—revealing…the same thick hazmat suit that MARTIN is wearing.]

Martin: Oh, wow.

[She walks the the edge of the stage, turns to give him a sexy look, then walks off.]

[Off-stage:]

Elaina: [Still seductive] Are you coming, darling?

Martin: [Places both hands to his heart] But of course…Wild horses could not tear me away. All of the power of the great oceans could not allay my desire for you, for your voice is like a beacon of light, calling me forth towards the heavens.

[Finishing this grand speech. He sits there, awkwardly, for a time. Clearly, he does not want to go anywhere near her.]

Elaina:…Uh, Martin?

Martin: Yes, Yes. Fine. Coming!

[He walks off stage to meet her. We cannot see them, but we can hear.]

Elaina: Oh, Martin.

Martin: Oh, Eliana. Elaina: Oh.

Martin: Oh.

Elaina: Oh…Ah.

Martin: Ah… Ah…

Elaina: Ah…Ah…AH….AH CHOOO!

[Beat.]

Martin: [Screams.]

[MARTIN runs back onstage, holding up his hands, which are shaking. In his desperation, he unwittingly approximates a quote from Macbeth, Act II, Scene II, lines 56-60.]

Martin: What hands are here?! Will all great Purrell’s reserves wash this snot clean from my hand?!

[He walks into the audience, brandishing his hand as though it were a hot coal. He accosts the crowd, ad-libbbing pleas for help.]

Martin: (Help me!…Please, do you have hand sanitizer? Wet naps?! Anything!? Etc. etc)

[He goes back the the stage, and collapses in grief.]

Martin: Oh god! Oh god whhyyyy?!

[Sobbing, he begins to crawl in the direction of backstage.]

Martin: Ohwhyohwhy oh god why god….

[Before he finally reaches the end of the stage, he pulls himself up. Turns to give the audience a final, anguished look, and EXITS…That is, before peaking out a second later to give a quick, half-bow, and EXIT for good.]

[ELAINA tentatively walks out, looking embarrassed. She stops to address the crowd.]

Elaina: That was “A Reunion of Lovers.” [Slight curtsy] Thank you.

[She goes to leave, but a thought occurs to her.]

Elaina: …Don’t forget to wash your hands.

[Another small curtsy. Exits.]

[END]