#i want to make a bigger statement about it tho

[sierrale8ne]

40 DAYS AND 40 NIGHTS CHAPTER EIGHT

thought i’d be lying if i said ‘i didn’t want you to myself.’ when you look me in my eyes and, tell me that it’s mine, i…

pairing wnba!paige bueckers x singer!oc

taglist @thaatdigitaldiary @ohbueckers @wbbgetsmewetter @rosemariiaa @tndaqlifwy @patscorner @pboogerswbb @xxloveralways14 @makethemhoesmad @h34rtsformilli @uconnpazzi @luvapaigeeyy @hedidnotpleaseme @paigesbabygirl @mopopshop @omg-imtumbling @ch12334 @wbb4l

warnings substance use, infidelity, sexual content

kalena speakss 🪽! good morningggg ;) song for this chapter is BPW by jasmine sullivan, you’ll know when to play it!

June 2025 — Los Angeles, California

The lights are low in the studio this evening, as per usual whenever I’m here. I’m not the type to have multiple people in my space, usually it’s just me, Kaylee, and my producer. But tonight I get to be wonderfully distracted by Page Madison Bueckers.

Her phone is propped up on a bottle of Patron, some audio playing from it as she makes a TikTok in front of me. I’m fighting a laugh in the midst of rolling a blunt, because everything they say about her lack of rhythm seems to be true.

“Oh you’re annoying.” She laughs, picking up on my obvious amusement and mushing my face with her fingers.

“Hips don’t lie.” I giggle. “C’mon, no way you thought I wasn’t gon’ make fun of you.”

“You a bully. Ion know why I’m friends with you.”

“Because I’m just so pretty.” I reply jokingly.

Paige rolls her eyes at my statement, retaking her original seat in the rolling chair next to mine and shoving her phone in the pocket of her black Essentials sweatshorts.

If there’s any color I love on Paige, it’s definitely black. The darkness perfectly accentuates the tan of her skin and the bright blond of her hair and the blue of her eyes. She’s been wearing it more lately. Which I find odd, considering the blazing heat in California this summer.

I asked her to be here. No other reason than being alone in the studio is usually a recipe for disaster. She took up my offer gratefully, almost too grateful but I was probably overthinking it.

“You gonna let me hear some unreleased shit, or what?” Paige asked. Her chair slides closer to mine until our arms are touching. Our noses are close too, my eyes boring into hers. Purple rimmed wide framed glasses sit on her nose, making them look bigger.

I look away quickly, leaning towards the monitor in front of me. “I can, yeah.” I tell her, setting the blunt on the rolling tray. “If you leak it tho’ I’d have to kill you.” I joke as my eyes pass through all the possible unreleased and unfinished songs on the file.

I watch her take the substance into her own hands, packing and rolling it in places I didn’t get to reach yet. I would normally be pissed off, watching someone else roll my blunt as if I couldn’t do it myself. But the way her tongue darts out to lick it sealed, pretty and pink and soft, then her perfect fucking face has me mesmerized.

“Who taught you how to roll?” I laugh, honestly a bit shocked.

“I was in college for five years, you think I didn’t learn?” Paige looks back at me, fingers still sealing it like a second nature.

“You probably shouldn’t tell people you were in school for that long.” I snide and her elbow meets my ribs.

I take it from her hands gracefully when she finishes, putting it between my slightly chapped lips. Paige takes the lighter, striking the flame a few times until it lights and bringing the flame to the end of the blunt. Her blues are basically eating up my soul, the tip of her tongue peaking out slightly in concentration until I take the first hit.

The weed fills my lungs fast, and I take the blunt away from my lips, smoke clouding the air. Paige was still in season, and due to her recent shooting outbursts, subject to multiple rounds of drug testing. She wasn’t smoking with me tonight, rather taking a few shots from the liquor not too far away.

I laugh at the thought, “they really been testing you?”

She nods, the light falling from her hands and back onto the desk. She’s so close, I can smell every note of her cologne. Lavender, some cedarwood.

“Literally this morning. As soon as I stepped off the court last night I got an email saying I got an appointment in the morning.” She chuckled.

To say Paige had been on a tear this month would be an understatement. 20 point games, double-doubles, off of crazy efficiency too. She’s shooting 57% from the field and 42% from three, but last night she shot almost perfect, literally, 10/10 on her first shots 13/15 on the game.

For someone who claimed to not be a big basketball fan, she has me watching and remembering her stats like i’ve been doing it for years.

“Okay, music.” She starts. “If you had to make a collab album with one artist, who would it be?”

I sit back and bit for her question, but the answer really wasn’t too difficult. “Frank Ocean, easily.”

“Really? I thought you’d say Drake or sum.” She chuckles.

“Him too!” I responded. “But Frank doesn’t make music with just anybody. If I get that, I’ll know I made.” I shrug. It’s a dream that’s a bit out of touch, he hasn’t put out music in years, but one can wish.

“Imma manifest that Frank feature for you, angel.” She smiles. Her hand reaches to brush my hair out of my line of sight before gesturing with it towards the monitor, “which one can I hear?”

I skim past all the music loaded up on the screen before clicking on a file, all the colorful waves pop up individually. The vocals, ad-libs, all the snares and drums. To me, it’s normal. I wasn’t a producer but after making music for so long, the technicalities become less and less overwhelming and more interesting.

“Wow.” Paige breathes.

“It’s a lot, I know.”

“Is it finished?” She asks me. I nod, shaking my hand side to side as to non verbally tell her ‘sorta’. The title reads BPW and yes it pretty much is finished, but I’m a perfectionist and I feel like most songs can always have more.

“You wanna hear it?” I question while looking her way. I take another drag from the blunt. “It’s kinda nasty tho’. The label only let me put two freaky songs on there, so this one got pushed back.”

“Only? You’re a freak, bro.” Paige replies. “Lemme hear it.”

The instrumental echos first when I hit play. Violin and bass, and then I remember I tried to avoid the piano for this song since most of my discography already is over taken by it. The intro is long, when I look over at Paige and she’s listening intently, I start to get nervous. “It’s still missing some thi—”

Her finger meets my lips, indirectly telling me to shut up. I sit there shocked. It’s soft, her finger, sliding down my bottom lip until her hand rests in my lap. It’s like i’m not even there, just another object in the room as she got consumed by the music.

I didn’t think I could be more turned on.

It’s the reason I write in the first place, the reaction and the feeling of absorption from my lyrics or my sound. But not many people around me get that. Paige so clearly does. It makes me feel warm, taken over with emotion because she sits there so focused, waiting for that first vocal.

—

Well shit, I think to myself when I finally hear the lyrics.

Maraye is crazy. She’s crazy for having me sit here and listen to her sing about sex while she wears those tight ass shorts, just days after telling me we are just friends. I can’t do anything about it.

My head slowly bows back and forth along with the sound of her voice. This song doesn’t deserve to be unreleased, it deserves to be in my library, on that playlist.

And even though we ain’t official

You know I ain't no regular girl

So tell me whenever I'm witcha

I got the best pussy in the—

I stare at her in awe, not just because of what I’m hearing but the way the smoke passes through her lips has me squeezing my legs together. My hand still rests in her lap lazily, I can’t will it to move, I don’t think she wants me to either.

It’s clear to me I have no self control. The other night, just minutes after dropping her off at home, I said I was done. Julian was a dickhead but that’s Maraye’s dickhead and I needed to respect it. Then here she goes, singing about how good she is in bed, and looking this fucking good. I need her. In all definitions of the word, I need her bad.

I stand up, needing some sort of space between us before I’m ripping every single thread of clothing on her body. I take a comfortable seat on the edge of the control panel, bowing my head with the melody. My heart rapidly beats in my chest, palms growing sweaty.

“You’re really good at this.” I breathe.

The song comes to an end, she presses a few buttons on her monitor that I don’t really care for. “Thank you, love.”

I force a large amount of oxygen into my lungs. Why did she have to say that? I was already struggling just being in the same room. Those damn eyes turning me into a mess between my thighs and here she goes.

A giggle escapes Maraye’s lips as she takes another hit. “Are you drunk?”

I shake my head. “Nah, ma. This tequila is hittin’ though.”

“Hmm.”

“Hmm what?”

“Nothing.” Maraye mumbles. “Whatcha think about the song?” She asks me. She scoots the chair closer to me, wheels rolling against the hardwood until she’s seated between my legs.

“Only you could make singing ‘bout sex sound so perfect.” I comment. She really did sound angelic, the nickname so fitting. My arms are crossed over my chest as I size her up. It’s the first time I get a good look at her tattoos, normally I’m looking at her eyes or her thighs or shamelessly her tits. But the ink down her arm makes me crazy.

There’s one in particular that catches my eye. Linework of three faces overlapped, one blue, one green, and one red. I have no idea of the meaning, or what it stands for but the pop of color on her skin eats me alive.

Maraye shifts in her seat and a smile inches on her lips. Her hips moving in a way that intrigues me. “You alright there, angel?”

“I’m just fine, superstar. You?” She poses. I reach forward, taking the blunt from her hand and taking a drag. The way it clouds my brain let me know that I was not about to leave this room without making a move on her. I set it on the tray to my right, listing to her as she hums, “that song looked like it riled you up. I’m observant.”

I pull her in closer by the arm of the chair, if I couldn’t flirt I would sure as hell have fun teasing her. “I’m observant too. You been holding these legs together all night. Why?”

“Are you minding my business?”

“Yeah, ma. Now what?”

She doesn’t respond and now I want to know what she’s thinking. I want to get everything out in the open, all the things she wants to say but holds back on.

“The line is paper thin, Madison.”

“Like I asked, why you been sittin’ like this?” I ask again.

I know what I want her to say. I want her to tell me it’s me. That I got her so turned on that she’s sitting here with her legs practically glued together because it’s morally wrong to act on how she’s feeling. Even tell me that she wants to rip my clothes off as badly as I want to rip hers off.

Her foot taps against the floor, echoing off the walls alongside our in sync breathing. “I-uh. M’just crossed. Leave me alone” She begs, voice low almost like she’s shy. It’s cute.

“Jus’ crossed, baby? Y’sure?”

I don’t think i’ve ever been so forward with Maraye than I am right now. Everything running through my body right now is like a shot of adrenaline.

“Paige! You can’t be doing this to me right now.” She tosses her head back frustratedly. I’m stifling a laugh from where I stand. I knew I could get her flustered but this was too easy.

She looks back up at me, her eyes dark and slightly glazed over. The weed has her eyes rimed with red and oddly enough the smell it exudes from her is incredible. Nearly as intoxicating as the substance itself.

“Doin’ what?” I chuckle. “I just wanna make sure you’re comfortable, angel. You look tense.”

“You make me tense.”

I fake a pout. “Lemme fix it.”

“Why do you insist on not having a boundary or respecting mine?”

“I don’t think we’ve ever had boundaries, Raye.” I point out.

My hands instinctively reach for her own, standing her up so I’m not longer craning my neck to look at her. Still, the good four inches I have on her makes her eye me eagerly. Looking up like she’s giving in. “Paige we can’t.” Maraye sighs.

“So tell me to stop.” I muse.

“What?”

I trail my hands to her body. The left holding onto her hip while the other wraps around her waist. She doesn’t even try to fight me off, instead I swear she falls into me more. Her hand holds onto my bicep, avoiding eye contact with me.

I notice it. Every single act that is out of her normal. The stuttering and looking everywhere but me. She’s shy. I’ll take it as a good thing, that my actions have her reacting like a school girl.

“Lemme get you right.” I murmur.

Maraye’s mouth opens, then closes immediately after. My head pushes towards her, right where her neck meets her shoulder. I get a good whiff of her Chanel perfume.

“This is so wrong, P.” She whispers.

“Tell me,” I start with my lips up against her ear, “to stop.”

“The cameras.”

I look around the control panel, before spotting the on/off switch under the table. I flick it off, the red light by the camera in the corner blinks off.

“I—”

“Oh my God, just shut up.” I hum and it’s a matter of seconds before our lips are touching, moving against one another in sync.

It’s different than the first time. That one was slow, like we were still trying to figure it out. But this one? This one is hungry, fast and familiar. I can make out the taste of weed on her lips, tequila in the back of her mouth when my tongue reaches that spot.

Maraye’s hands are in my hair, tugging it between her fingers all hurried like I could slip away. Mine are everywhere. her hips, her thighs, her ass. I squeeze it before smoothing a hand over the area. A groan slips past my lips and into her mouth.

I’m pushing us away from the table, past all the chairs and wires until her back hits the leather couch behind us. I pull back, and her mouth is sucking on my tongue. I swear God himself would have to claw me off of her after that.

“Wanna take your clothes off.” I pant. My kisses move to her jaw, licking it before moving down her neck. I’m searching for that sweet spot, and when she moans in my ear I know I’ve found it.

It’s quite easily the sexiest thing I’ve ever heard. Maraye is quite easily the sexiest woman I’ve ever seen. Her stunning brown skin and curls that tickle my face with each suck I give to her neck. The septum in her nose and tattoos down her arm. To make things harder for me she smells fucking incredible, and the feel of her plush thighs in my hands reduces me to nothing.

My knee meets the center of her legs, that spot that makes her arch into me. I reach for the hem of her shirt, pulling it up and over her head and it hangs off the arm of the couch.

“I wanna fuck you right here, angel.” I mutter against her warm skin. Maraye cups my face, pulling my lips back to hers eagerly. She licks at my bottom lip before slipping it into my mouth. I swallow up every moan she gives me, so damn desperate for more. My hand grips her breast that unfortunately is confined in that black sports bra she wears.

“Paige, fuck.” She gasps against me. Her hand leaves my face to pull my glasses off, they’re unbelievably foggy and I didn’t even notice, too busy tonguing her down to care. She holds them before kissing me again and biting my bottom lip.

“You’re fuckin’ nasty.” I sigh, pulling her closer.

Maraye moans my name when I push my knee deeper into her cunt. I can feel just how wet she is against my bare skin.

“Lemme have you, ma.” I grunt, suddenly felling very hot in the UConn hoodie I have on. “Show me how good that pussy is, baby. You said it’s the best, yeah? Prove it.”

It’s carnal the way I need her. Like my sole purpose for being put on this earth was to please her. I’ll do it. Happily. Hell, I’m begging for it.

“Fuck. God, P.” She hiccups, letting my hands travel wherever they can reach. They settle on her hips, playing with the waistband of her shorts while my tongue continues to clash with hers. God, it’s messy. Saliva sticky on my chin.

I’m about to dig into her shorts when the door handle fumbles. I sigh gratefully that it’s locked but then I hear it, the clicking.

—

The fact that I have to fight with myself on whether or not I should push Paige off of me is very telling of my behavior. Someone is messing with the lock on the door, so with what leftover strength I have, I pull away from Paige and push her back off of me.

She reaches for my face and wipes the saliva from my lips, giving me one more chaste kiss before sitting back on the opposite end of the couch. I search for my shirt, which has now made it’s way to the floor. By the time I toss it over my head and hand Paige her glasses back and fluff my hair so it is naturally falling over the hickeys I assume Paige has left on my neck, the door is swinging open.

“God damn, Raye. You coul— oh. I didn’t know you had someone else in here.”

It’s Kaylee, which makes me let out quite possibly the world’s biggest sigh of relief. I play with my bottom lip, hoping she can’t point out how swollen it is from Paige biting it.

Her taste, like cherries and a bit of tequila, has completely overpowered any other taste previously in my mouth. She’s taken over my entire body.

“Hey.” Paige greets her, awkwardly clearing her throat.

Kaylee smiles and waves before walking to the controls. She drops her bag in the seat I had just occupied earlier. She stands still, then looks up in the corner, the light by the camera’s that are almost always on suddenly off.

She flips the switch before turning to look at the two of us.

“Huh. Someone turned the camera’s off.” She comments.

“Weird.” I reply.

Really weird.

[certifiedlovergirlsstuff]

boys a liar

pairing: ethan landry x female!reader

WC: 3.5K

warnings: SPOILERS (tho you already know cause of the gif), cursing, (back)stabbing, blood. should be it!

summary: he said he would always protect you, he just never said anything about it being from him.

A/N: i got inspired by a charlie walker (scream4) edit where he was shushing kirby after he stabbed her. also don’t think tooo hard about the stab/blood loss logistics. it’s fictional.

been in the drafts since march 21

masterlist / ethan landry

Everything was in chaos. The trap for ghost face instantly goes south, like they usually do.

Kirby disappeared a minute after arriving at the theater leaving your group, Sam, Tara, Chad, you, and Ethan on your own. Unintentionally everyone split up, Chad and Tara going one way, and Sam another way, which left you and Ethan on your own.

The two of you decided to head to the balcony and sit near the railing. The second Ethan sat next to you, you leaned your head on his shoulder and slipped your hand into his, and gave a firm squeeze. Your heart was beating loudly in your ears, it was the only noise you could hear besides your breathing and Ethan’s with his puffs of air ruffling over your hair. Your eyes just stared blankly in front of you, the black robes of ghost faces past in your direct line of sight.

“I don’t like this.” An opinion you’ve withheld. You felt Ethan shifting his head, “I told you to stay home.” “Yeah, but my chances of getting killed would have been a lot bigger if I was separated. Plus I want to make sure you and everyone else are safe as well, we’re all making it out of this mess alive.” You squeezed his hand tighter before bringing it to your lips and kissing his knuckles.

The feeling of Ethan kissing your head made you feel just a bit lighter. You moved your head off his shoulder and stared into his warm brown eyes, his soft gaze fluttering your heart. With your free hand, you cupped his cheek and leaned in with your eyes drooping close, Ethan meeting you halfway. His plush lips were a simple touch of skin before he tilted just a bit, his nose pillowing into your cheek. Your lips moved in a simplistic dance, nothing heating up, just wanting to enjoy each other during a blissful moment of peace before an incoming storm tears it down.

You pulled away first, needing to catch your breath. Your lips were still close, noses bumping into each other and both smiled at the action. Your fingers danced over Ethan’s skin, feeling the texture and bumps, wanting to absorb it all into your skin.

“It’s gonna be fine, sweetheart. I won’t let anything happen to you.” His voice was low, a whisper to your lips. He ran his thumb over your hand. You peered through your lashes at him, “I know you’re lying, but thank you.” You couldn’t guarantee your safety, or anyone else’s. You rather keep your expectations low.

You fully pulled away from Ethan, his eyes watching your every move. You looked over the balcony and saw no one around, it caused worry to fester.

“We should probably regroup with the others,” you stood from your seat and turned to the stairs, but a hand wrapped around your wrist stopped you in your tracks and you looked over your shoulder, “I meant it. Everything is gonna be fine.” Ethan’s puppy dog eyes which would usually melt your insides and weaken your knees only caused a chill over your skin.

“Okay. I trust you.”

How you wish you could retract that statement.

-

The both of you checked different rooms of the theater, not finding Kirby or Sam. You found Tara and Chad… as they were kissing. You started to walk quietly out of the room when a blur of motion caught your attention.

“Look out!” You screamed, but it was no use as Tara got stabbed in the back by ghost face, Chad holding her body.

Ghost face pulled the knife out and just as he was preparing for another stab you rushed at him and grabbed his arm. The two of you struggled for the upper hand. He grabbed at your hair and yanked it causing your head to bend backward harshly making a yelp fall from your mouth. Being distracted by the tight pull of your hair, your hands loosened their grip on his arm and he took the opportunity to stab the knife into your stomach making you cry even louder. To make matters worse, he started to pull the knife down, ripping apart your muscle and skin tissue. You felt like you could pass out in a blink.

You heard someone scream your name and then you fell to the floor and the knife was yanked out, and your chest heaved for a steady breath. Your body was shaking and you touched a finger to your wound and it was instantly coated in slick blood. Your head was starting to get woozy, black dots were spotting your vision and the ground felt like it was being tipped like you were on a rocking boat in a rocky sea. A warm feeling graced your stomach and back, a breeze kissed your cheek and tickled your ear and if you could focus enough you could hear whimpers and pleading for you.

A hard press to your abdomen made you jerk forward from the floor and squeeze your eyes shut from pain. Your heart was beating frantically and your skin was feeling clammy, tiny sweat drops hitting your eye. Your hands clawed at the person’s hands and arms as they applied more pressure to stop the bleeding. You fluttered your eyes open, trying to keep yourself from slipping into the darkness and to see who was with you. Curly brunette hair was your answer.

“E- Ethan…” you groaned as he pushed harder, “stop, stop, stop! It hurts! You're hurting me!” Tears fell from the corner of your eyes as you tried pushing Ethan away.

“I know, I know, but I have to stop you from bleeding out. Sweetheart, please, come on. Hey, hey, just- just look at me, okay? Just look at me, let me see those eyes I love so much.” His voice was wavering every few words. You laid your head down on the floor, you still don’t know where in the theater, your eyes staring up at the ceiling as you gripped Ethan’s hands in a comforting way.

You didn’t want to die. You made it out of Woodsboro with the twins and the Carpenter sisters, but maybe this was some twisted thing from the universe. Only the siblings get to live in this new franchise, as Mindy would put it. You didn’t want to die. You wanted to live a normal life, not have to watch your back for the rest of your life just because someone was obsessed with horror movies and given ideas by the killers. You didn’t want to die. You wanted more time with your boyfriend, Ethan. The two of you only dated a few months, but you wanted years with him, a lifetime with him.

“I- I don’t wa- want to die… Ethan. Pl- Please.” You choked on sobs and it only caused more pain to flare up.

“It’s gonna be okay, it’ll be over soon. You just need to hold on a little longer.” He moved a hand from your stomach and caressed your cheek, the feeling of your blood touching your skin making the intimate gesture vile.

There was something within his eyes that flickered like a switch. One minute he was looking at you like you painted stars in the sky and the next it was like he was looking at the person he hated most in the worst, a nasty grimace tugging at his beautiful lips.

The hand touching your cheek slipped down and down until it wrapped around your throat and squeezed, tight. Air immediately was cut off and you grabbed at his wrist and tried to pull him away, but he was a lot stronger and in stable condition. You felt his other hand move away but you didn’t notice how he grabbed something from behind him and kept it away from your eye line. He leaned in close, his breath skating across your redding face. You pushed a hand into his face, but he pushed it into the ground and you winched from an unknown object pressing into your wrist.

“You know, (Y/n), I just wanted you to know you were my first girlfriend. And it was a real pleasure for me, first kiss at a party while slightly tipsy, classic. First intimate time together while watching a movie, another classic. Also thank you for taking my virginity, you were lovely.” He sighed, “Honestly… I don’t think anyone after you will be topped. An added bonus, you survived the Woodsboro killings, like come on!” You continue to struggle in his hold as he speaks to your face.

“You know, it was my sister's idea- try and get someone to fall for me. A good killer always has a love interest. And I’ll also be honest… I really like you, maybe even love you, but you have a purpose to fulfill. Along with everyone else.”

“Wha- What is- Fuck you!” “Such a pretty face with a vulgar mouth.” He squeezed tighter and even shook your head. “Now, where was- oh! Right! Well, we’ve reached the third act, as Mindy would say and so it’s time to make some killings.”

In a flash, a blinding heat crept up your side and you tried to gasp for air you couldn’t retrieve. You scratched and clawed at Ethan’s arm just for a simple gulp of air. The pain only worsened when he twisted, you assume a knife, in your side making the spots come back.

He removed his hand just as you were about to pass out and he pulled the knife out before going back in. You screamed and cried, the pain only amplified by the person causing it. You stopped fighting, your will to live slipping from your buttery fingers.

“Shush, shush, it’s okay. Everything is okay.” Ethan cooed in your ear as he stroked your hair from your damp skin. You don’t know what was worse, that he was comforting you just as he stabbed you and broke your heart or that you enjoyed the tiny hint of the other Ethan.

He dropped the bloody knife beside you and held your face between his hands, gentle as always, and he kissed your forehead. You eye the knife and make small moves inching closer. He moved from your forehead to your nose to your right cheek then your left. He pulled just an inch or two away as he looked into your blurry eyes, his thumbs stroking your sweaty skin. At this moment you decided to indulge in the sweet kisses, needing just something, anything. So as Ethan leaned back in you closed your eyes, hand closing around the knife hilt, and got swept away by the familiar rhythm of kissing your boyfriend. Soft and slow, taking all the time in the world to just memorize each other before pulling away.

“You could have been spared if you didn’t help kill him.” He whispered to your lips. His breath hit your wet and parted lips. “Him? Who’s him?” “My brother.” He sighed.

Your brows furrowed, “bro- brother? You- you said he died in -“ “oh, you sweet dumb thing. I’ll spell it out for you. Richie.” Your eyes widened.

“He- he and Amber- they tried to kill us! For a- a- a stupid movie! It was self-defense!”

“And what we’re doing as a family is getting revenge. Hope you understand, sweetheart.”

Your nostrils flared as you got a tight grip and looked directly into his eyes with a straight smile, “and this is just self-defense.” The blade sunk into the meat of Ethan’s side and it pushed him off your body and to the floor beside you. “Hope you understand,” you voiced his words back as you scrambled away, your body screaming at you to stop. Your adrenaline is the only thing keeping you upright.

-

You weren’t sure where you were running to, turning corners, and being met with a locked door before you had to retrace your steps and go a different route. You found yourself stumbling back into the snack area of the theater and you whimpered as you found Chad lying on the floor with blood coating his Blackmore university hoodie. You wanted to walk to him and check if he was breathing but Tara and Sam were missing and you hadn’t run into Kirby yet.

With a shot of pain and blood spilling with each step, you pushed forward. A hand pressed to the wall was your anchor as you traveled back to the shrine, hoping you’ll find someone alive and not the killer. As you got closer to where you remembered the main theater was, you could hear voices talking, overlapping, or yelling over each other.

As you turned a final corner you peered into the room making sure you were still hidden in the shadows for now. The glass boxes blocked the view but you could see the backs of Sam and Tara, their heads moving as the people around them spoke. You looked further into the room and gasped. Detective Bailey stood with two ghost faces beside him, masks still on their faces. You already knew who one of them was, Ethan, the one with a hand to their side. But the second one you couldn’t think of who, it couldn’t have been Mindy… it just couldn’t have…. could it?

“Mindy?” You heard Sam voice your thoughts after Ethan pulled his mask away. How his face and smile still made your heart thump rapidly.

The final killer revealed themself, “Quinn?” Tara was flabbergasted as was Sam and you along with them as you decided to make yourself known. Probably a bad idea, but you were losing brain cells the longer you bled out, and your decision-making wasn’t the wisest at the moment.

On shaky legs, you made your way to your friends. With a glance to the ground you saw Kirby, beaten and bloody, but her chest was moving so that was a relief. A bloody hand touched each glass case as you walked further, needing all the help to push forward.

“Ah, I was wondering where she went. Seems Ethan already had some fun with her.” “Well, I was the first to get her since she intervened with Tara and Chad.”

Sam and Tara turned your way and the looks on their faces made you feel a bit of relief to know they were worried about you just as you were with them. Tara made her way to you but was stopped by Ethan who stood in front of you and swung the knife in front of her like she was a feral animal.

“Don’t! Don’t touch her, only I can touch her.” He kept the knife held high as he rounded yourself and threw an arm over your stomach and pulled you into his chest. A grunt came out from the impact. His solid frame and weight were a nice wall to keep you upright, so you leaned your head against his collarbones and held his arm as you slumped a bit.

“See. She wants me, always.” “She’s fucking bleeding out, dumbass!” Tara yelled at him as she kept her eyes on you.

“Well, Quinn got a bit too aggressive-“ “Fuck off, lover boy.” “- And I stabbed her two times. But she’s a survivor, she already survived a few stabbings in Woodsboro.” He kissed your temple and in your haze, you smiled at the touch. “She can survive a few more.”

“What the fuck do you even want from us? Can’t you horror freaks leave us the hell alone?” Sam sneered at the three.

“This isn’t about movies. Not a fan of the genre, but my oldest fell in love with them. He wanted to make his own Stab movie since he said the last one wasn't like the originals. But he died before he could, his death is on your hands.” Bailey pointed his gun at Sam.

“Wh- what the hell are you talking about?”

“Ri- Richie.” You muttered out since you knew the answer to her question.

“What does Richie-“ “He was our brother, you fucking bitch.” Quinn pushed Sam in the chest causing her to stumble backward into a display.

“E- Ethan… p-please,” you slid down his chest, his arms holding you tight as your knees touched the floor and he placed your head in his lap. “You’ll be okay sweetheart. After all this we’ll get you to the hospital, I can make an exception for you.” His black glove stroked your cheek. He moved from under you and laid you down between displays and that’s when you passed out.

-

You felt like you were thrown under a bus and driven over multiple times. Loud beeps echoed in your ears and you wished to block them out but you couldn’t lift your arms without your muscles aching. You tried prying your eyes open, they felt heavy and crusty, your lashes fluttering in your vision. The white light of the room hurt your head and you hissed at the brightness.

You were able to move your head from side to side to look around the hospital room. You were met with Sam hunched over her lap as she twiddled with her fingers, as her hair covered her face.

“S- Sam.” Your cracked voice called out to her making her head jerk up, a smile came to her lips and her eyes were shining.

“Oh thank god. We thought- you passed out as the three of them went after us. I shot Quinn and Killed Bailey…”

“And Ethan?” “Tara stabbed him through the mouth and then somehow he lived to run at us before Kirby pushed a TV onto his head.” She rolled her lips and looked at her hands that rested atop your bedding next to your thigh.

“Oh.” You don’t know what you expected to hear. A part of you was glad that Ethan was dead, he tried to kill you and your friends. But… you’ll miss him. It was like you saw him as two different people. Ethan Landry was sweet and gentle, soft-spoken and smart, and a bit awkward around girls. And then this Ethan… if he was related to Bailey and Quinn, then he was Ethan Bailey in that theater. Getting revenge for his brother no matter what the consequences are, stabbing you and taunting you, using your love for him against you.

“I’m sorry.” Sam touched your arm. “For what,” you shrugged your shoulders and played with a loose string from the blanket.

“That the boy you loved used it against you and manipulated you. After- after what happened in Woodsboro… you were so quiet, closed off. You barely let the four of us in and it scared us. But when Chad started to bring Ethan around and more comfortable with the group… We saw you slowly let your guard down. And I can’t be one to judge, I always have my guard up and I’ll fully be on your side if your wall goes back up as well. It was just really nice to see you be a bit free, enjoying life with a boy you liked and hanging with your friends in a new city.”

The tears rolled from your eyes and down your cheeks silently as you listened to Sam’s words. Ethan helped you be comfortable with yourself again and he just broke it all over again.

“The universe hates us, doesn't it?” You laughed through the tears and Sam joined in, agreeing with you, “but it’s making us stronger. For what? I have no fucking clue.”

You wiped away the salty water, “uh, where’s- where’s Tara and Mindy? Did- Did Chad live?”

“Everyone is alive. Mindy and Tara are with Chad right now since he woke up before you. But I can go get them if you want?” She started to pull away, “no, no. I’m fine with just the two of us for now.” You didn’t want to be alone for even a second.

“Why don’t you go back to sleep? You could use some more rest.” She pushed the hair away from your face, a motherly, sisterly gesture that warmed your heart.

You complied and shuffled around in the tiny bed and closed your eyes. You hoped to dream of warm afternoons, a cool breeze that tangled your hair and kissed your cheeks. You hoped for a nice place in New York with your friends- your family, all of you laughing and dancing around as music played in the background. You dreamed of a fantasy far away in your mind of a tall boy with fluffy hair and gentle eyes, how he would smile at you sickly sweet like honey and he would open his arms for you to run into and give you tight squeezes. He would leave kisses over your face before diving into your lips and melding them together before letting his tongue slip in and his hands would hold your neck as he pushed further. You would pull away just to catch a breath and you both would giggle like school children before you tucked your face into his neck and you would mumble the words into his skin.

“I love you”

...

@astrxq (fellow ethan lover)

[luxcuriousao3]

Mutter (Chapter One)

Summary: When he looked at Lelia, truly looked at her without letting his fears and resentment get in the way, all he saw was a sad, scared girl too sweet for her own good. She was so easy to take advantage of, just like his mother had been. König wanted to protect her, and not just because of his instincts. But because in a way, it felt like he would be protecting his mother. Word Count: 5249 Warnings: vague/brief smut, mentions of past domestic/sexual abuse, König has mommy issues and also self-esteem issues and also intimacy issues (he can still get it tho), *** means POV switch, and -*- means timeskip but no POV switch. Notes: A new Leliaverse fic, since some of you showed interest and this has just been rotting in my drafts lol. This one is ABO and KönigxLelia. Dove still takes priority, this is just a side project atm. So updates won't be as regular for this fic. But the chapters are longer lol. I have no beta for this fic so all SPAG and consistency errors are my own, feel free to point them out. Comments and reblogs are highly appreciated! AO3, Masterlist

“I do not want her.”

The tiny omega standing across from König flinched, but otherwise didn’t react to his matter of fact statement. He felt a bit bad for phrasing it in such a harsh way—there wasn’t anything wrong with her, after all. She was beautiful—a petite girl, nearly two whole feet shorter than him with long, loose auburn curls, round, cherubic cheeks, a small nose, and thick lashes. He didn’t know what color her eyes were—she hadn’t bothered to look up at all since walking into the room, and her scent was clouded by fear. It was so potent he was surprised the officer he was speaking to couldn’t smell it, even if she was a beta.

No. It was less that he didn’t want the pretty little omega, and more that he could tell how very much she didn’t want him.

He endured rejection often enough from the beta women he slept with—they never wanted him for more than his huge cock and his even bigger knot, and he’d learned to accept that after a while—and had no desire to constantly be around a woman who was terrified of him. A walking reminder of how unloved he was, and how unloved he always would be.

“Sorry, Colonel, it’s KORTAC’s newest policy,” the beta officer replied. “All unmated Alphas, when on active duty, are to be assigned support omegas to keep them stable and help them through their ruts. Starting with the upper ranks.”

The woman shrugged, then nodded at the omega, who was still staring at the ground.

“She’s yours, now.”

König growled. The beta officer paled a bit, and the omega’s shoulders hunched, like she was trying to make herself smaller.

“I. Do. Not. Want. Her,” he repeated forcefully. “Take her back. Or find me a new one,” he added the last part reluctantly. He didn’t want an omega—any omega. He knew they would all be afraid of him, that none would care about him. But perhaps, if he had to have one, they could give him one that didn’t look like she was two seconds away from bursting into tears just because she was in the same room as him. As pathetic as it was, it stung. He knew he was a monster, completely and utterly undesirable except for his Alpha status. But her terror made him feel like the scum of the earth.

“Each omega volunteer was scent matched to an Alpha to find the best possible fit for all parties involved,” the officer said after a long moment, swallowing nervously. But there was a hardness in her gaze as well. A glimmer of anger. “I’m afraid you can’t simply swap her for a prettier version like she’s some sort of toy. Sir.”

König flushed beneath his sniper hood, feeling like a scolded child. An embarrassed, ashamed child. He cut a glance to the omega again, wincing when he saw her skinny arms wrapped around her middle in a sad parody of a hug.

“That is not—” he started, before cutting himself off with a sigh of frustration. There was no use protesting. This was happening, whether he liked it or not. He would simply do his best to avoid his new roommate. It’s not like they could force him to mate with her. “Fine. Fine. I will take her.”

“Wonderful,” the officer said flatly. “Your omega’s belongings have already been delivered to your quarters, along with additional pillows and blankets to use as nesting materials. Necessities will be provided for her, paid for by the new program.”

König rolled his eyes. Paying for her living expenses was just an excuse to keep him from rejecting their stupid new policy, not a kindness like the beta was making it out to be.

“Come along then, Fräulein,” he said, trying to gentle his tone a bit so as not to terrify her any further. But he couldn’t hide his displeasure with the situation, and it was clear in his voice. She jumped, but then scrambled to follow him, having to run to keep up with his long strides as he walked out of the meeting room. He forced himself to slow down. “Tell me. What is your name?”

“Lelia, Alpha,” the omega replied in a whisper, eyes darting up to meet his for just a second before she looked back at the floor. They were big and round like a newborn doe’s, and the prettiest shade of light, honeyed brown. König hated that he felt his heart flutter in his chest at the sight of them.

“You will call me Sir,” he told her firmly, grimacing under his mask at the use of his designation. He was not her Alpha. He would not have her claim him as such. Not when she couldn’t even stand to look at him with his mask on. No, he would rather her speak to him as if she was just another one of his soldiers. “Or Colonel.”

“Yes, Sir,” she replied obediently as they arrived at his quarters. He opened the door and gestured to her to go in. She did so without protest. She had been well trained, it seemed. It made him sick to his stomach. He hated seeing omegas stripped of their personality, their autonomy, taught to be nothing but a slave to their Alpha’s whims. It reminded him far too much of his mother.

She reminded him of his mother. Small stature, red hair, meek attitude… even a similar name. Lelia. Lia. He gritted his teeth and looked away. Her fearful scent was already stinking up his room, and his stomach turned. He couldn't deal with this, with her right now.

She had already moved over towards her bag, a small suitcase that couldn't possibly contain more than a few items of clothing. He supposed she would have to get used to wearing whatever plain clothes the program provided her with, rather than the smart, sophisticated dress she was currently wearing—one that looked like it cost half of what König made in a month. She was clearly used to luxury—he wondered why she would leave all that behind to volunteer to be a stranger’s fucktoy? Because that’s what this damn program sounded like to him, no matter what the beta officer had said. Giving a bunch of rough military Alphas fragile little omegas like her… it was madness. König wanted nothing to do with it.

“I will be back by dinner time,” he told her, not even having stepped inside. “You may put your things in the closet. The toilet is through the other door.”

With that, he was gone, the metal door slamming shut behind him.

***

Lelia's new, masked Alpha was terrifying. But he already seemed kinder than Andrew.

Her husband—ex-husband now, she supposed—would have shoved her onto the bed and taken her the second they were alone. It was what he had done on their wedding night. And then again, every night since, until over a year went by and he had nothing to show for it. No baby, no strong little Alpha son to take over his father's company when he was old and grey.

What he did have was several million pounds of debt.

A debt that was cleared by selling her and her useless, barren womb to the owner of a German strip club. Which was then raided by a private military company less than a month later for human trafficking.

Lelia, one of the victims they had recovered, was given two options: be returned to Andrew, or remain in KORTAC’s custody by joining the pilot wave of their new ‘Comfort Omega’ program.

It wasn't much of a choice, really. Anything was better than Andrew.

Her new Al—the Colonel's scent permeated the room. Gunpowder and cloves—the warm, spicy kind. Something else that was woody and slightly sweet. Oud, she thought.

There was a hint of smoke to his smell too, but with a grassy undertone that neither her father’s cigars or Andrew’s cigarettes held. One she didn’t recognize.

All in all, it was far more pleasant than Andrew or Rodolfo—the man she’d been sold to—ever smelt, and her omega wanted to properly scent him. Lelia wanted no such thing, and doubted the Colonel would even let her.

Even still, Lelia was wary. She hung her clothes up in the closet, taking up as little space as possible, but left her toiletries in her bag, which she tucked into the corner next to a pair of huge, muddy boots. She hesitated, but then pulled the leather monstrosities out, digging around for a buffing kit. Once she found it, she carried everything into the toilet, and spent the next half hour meticulously cleaning the Colonel’s boots. She knew he didn't want her—even found the fact strangely comforting, though her baser instincts made her want to whine and whimper at being rejected, again—but she would still be a good omega. She didn't need him to want her. She would prefer that he didn’t. But if he liked her, he would treat her decently… she hoped.

Once his boots were clean, Lelia put them and the kit back into the closet. She changed out of her day clothes—a cream, knee-length tweed dress with half sleeves and an oversized white bow at the collar—and into a set of pink silk pajamas. The bottoms were far too short for her liking, but at least the camisole was oversized and not see through. Rodolfo, the owner of the club she’d been traded to, had preferred to keep his girls in lingerie at all times. Lelia, being his favorite, had been allowed slightly more modest options, as well as a single proper dress for when he took her on ‘dates.’ KORTAC had allowed her to keep some of her clothes when she’d been taken into custody, and she’d chosen the least revealing pieces. She still wished she could have stayed in her dress, but the mud from the Colonel’s boots had stained it. She hoped he would let her get it laundered rather than just throwing it away…

She did her best to wash the stain out, but with only harsh soap and water, a dirty brown spot still lingered. Lelia sighed, blinking back tears, and simply hung it up in the closet. Then, needing comfort, she finally allowed herself to begin building her nest.

All of the materials she’d been given were painfully sterile smelling, and so, unable to resist her instincts, she swapped one of the Colonel’s pillowcases for her own—taking the time to make his bed after, so he would be less likely to notice. She felt better the moment the new pillowcase was added to her nest. Perhaps she would grow to despise his scent, but for now, it soothed her terrified omega.

She curled up in the pile of pillows and blankets she’d made under the Colonel’s desk. She knew that even if he didn't intend to take her tonight—which she still wasn’t sure about—she wouldn’t be sleeping, anyway. She couldn’t sleep if she wasn't alone. She hadn’t been able to since about a month into her marriage, when sleeping meant waking up in the middle of the night to Andrew on top of her, forcing himself inside her as he covered her mouth and nose with his hand. He'd learned his lesson after the first time, when her screams of pain and fear had woken the household staff.

Lelia shuddered at the memory, forcing herself to shut her eyes, pulling a blanket up under her chin and hugging a pillow close to her chest like it was her precious teddy bear. She often wondered what had happened to the stuffed animal, after she’d been married off. She hoped Ulyana, her childhood governess, had taken it. Perhaps the old woman had gone back to Russia to be with her own family, now that she didn't need to raise Lelia anymore. Perhaps Lelia’s teddy slept soundly in the arms of Ulyana’s granddaughter every night… Lelia liked to imagine that was the case. That her faithful stuffed friend, her only friend, was still loved and treasured, rather than falling apart somewhere in a landfill, all alone…

Lelia sniffled, scrubbing her eyes harshly. It was best not to linger on memories. She wasn't that innocent little girl anymore, that hopeless romantic who believed in true love and adored stories and films about it. That thought someday, she would marry the love of her life, and he’d give her two beautiful children, one boy and one girl, for Lelia to dote on and shower in all the love she’d never received from her own parents. That dreamed of going to Uni and becoming a famous poet, so she was praised for something other than her looks and obedience…

No. Lelia was not that girl anymore. She no longer lived with her head in the clouds. She was grounded firmly to earth, and all its horrible realities.

It wasn’t long before sleep found her. She’d grown used to taking the opportunity to rest whenever the chance presented itself, in preparation for her sleepless nights. She only hoped she was too exhausted to have a nightmare.

***

When König left his quarters, he immediately went in search of a beta he knew would be happy to be dragged away from their duties for a quick fuck.

He found one in a pretty blonde nurse named Isa, who he had taken plenty of times before in the storage room of the base’s hospital, where she worked. She was a nice girl, always greeting him with a smile on her face and a hunger in her clear blue eyes. She wasn’t the only one he hooked up with, but he wasn’t the only one she hooked up with, either. Just the best, according to her.

She was also quite talented, though he refused to rank the women he fucked. It was unbecoming of a superior officer. Besides, he was lucky enough that they let him drill his oversized cock into them, despite the fact that he always wore his mask when he did. He never knotted any of them either, no matter that some of them begged for it. That was far too intimate.

After twenty minutes, Isa stumbled out of the storage room with a slight limp, her hair mussed and a pink flush to her cheeks. He followed, straightening her shirt discreetly, not wanting to shame her. He always made sure that any woman he was with was satisfied—multiple times. He enjoyed it. Enjoyed hearing them moan and whimper from the pleasure, breathily telling him how good he made them feel…

And secretly, he always hoped that if he did well enough, they’d tell him that he was a good boy and that they were proud of him.

Of course, they never did. They probably assumed a big, strong Alpha like him would be offended. And he could never just ask for it, for the same reason. His partners tended to gossip about their trysts, and if anyone ever heard about how König would come in his trousers just from being called a good boy, his men would lose every ounce of respect they had for him.

So he kept his desires to himself, as always.

After Isa headed back to her station, König sighed and left for the mess hall, still keen to avoid his quarters—especially after his plan to fuck away any thoughts of his new problem only seemed to make it worse. He’d caught himself thinking of Lelia a few times while sunk halfway into Isa’s pussy. How different would it be to fuck an omega? Would she be able to take his entire cock, unlike the beta girls he was so often with? Would she beg for him to knot her? To fill her with his seed and make her belly grow round with his pups?

That was the thought that had brought him to orgasm, and he’d barely had time to pull out of Isa’s warm, wet pussy before his knot expanded, locking them together when he thrust too deep.

Thus the poor girl’s limp.

König killed as much time as he could get away with in the mess hall before finally admitting defeat and returning to his quarters. When he opened the door, the first thing he noticed was that the sour fear-stink had faded somewhat, allowing him to smell what must have been Lelia’s actual scent—something floral and sweet that reminded him of the garden he’d grown up tending at his grandparents’ cottage, as well as his favorite dessert—vanilla pudding. He instinctively closed his eyes and breathed in deeper, trying to place the flowery smells. Rose was immediately obvious, though there was almost a sugary hint to it. A rose flavored candy, maybe?

He recognized peonies after another moment, and he stiffened. Peonies had been her favorite flower—his mother’s. He left them at her grave on her birthday every year. The only time he ever visited.

The second thing he noticed, when he opened his eyes again, was that Lelia was gone.

“Omega!” He snapped, panicked. Where was she? Had she gone out into the base? That wasn’t safe, there were far too many ill mannered, unattached Alphas that could snatch her up and claim her, and there would be nothing she could do to fight back—

The fear-stink returned full force, and he heard a terrified gasp followed by a crash and then a pained whine. He looked down at his desk, where the sounds had come from, and saw a pillow sticking out. Crouching down, he was met by a pair of wide, scared brown eyes brimming with tears.

“S-sorry, sorry A-Alpha! I— I m-mean Sir, sorry Sir, I’m sorry—” the omega whimpered as she clutched the top of her head, sniffling as she tried to keep from crying. König’s instincts didn't even give him a chance to resist—he reached under the desk and grabbed her slight frame in his massive paws, carefully pulling her out. She went stiff as a board when he did, shifting her arms to cover her face as her shoulders hunched, like she was trying to curl up into a ball. König growled. He was used to being treated like a terrible, violent brute—and he was. He had a deep rage inside him, from years of merciless bullying and a mother who chose drugs over her son. That was why he had joined the military, to give that rage a safe target. He would never hurt an innocent woman. An innocent omega. 

“I will not hit you,” he said angrily. Lelia flinched in his lap, not lowering her arms. He tried to gentle his tone. He was marginally successful. “You have already hurt yourself.”

He smoothed his big hand over the top of her head lightly, feeling for a bump. But she began to squirm wildly in his arms, trying to escape, her scent sharp with panic. He let her go, and she practically dove back under the desk and into the nest she’d made there.

“Fräulein,” he huffed, confused and exasperated. But then he caught sight of the fogginess in her eyes, and he paused. That was the look of a soldier who had been on the frontlines for too long. Who had seen too many horrors to ever truly recover. König saw that look in the mirror often. His expression softened beneath his mask in sympathy, and he sighed. “I will leave you be.”

He stood up, joints creaking in protest, and turned around. He was greeted by the sight of a neatly made bed, which he knew he was certainly not responsible for. He glanced at the desk again. It had to have been Lelia. No one else but her had access to his quarters.

“Thank you,” he said awkwardly, unsure if he would only make her more afraid by speaking, but unwilling to seem like a mannerless oaf. “For the bed.”

There was no response for a long moment, and König headed over to the closet to take off his boots. As he opened it, a tiny, nervous voice spoke up from under the desk, though when he looked back, she was still hiding under it.

“I cleaned the boots in the closet,” Lelia said. Then, “I can— I can clean the ones you’re wearing now too, Sir.”

König blinked, looking down at his spare pair of boots. They were spotless, practically looking brand new. His heart thudded hard in his chest. It was such a kind, motherly thing to do—making his bed and cleaning his boots. Small things to make his life easier, to show she cared…

She doesn’t care about you, a harsh voice in his head said. König flinched. She probably thinks she has to do these things for you.

“That is not necessary,” he replied, unlacing his boots and putting them next to his newly cleaned spares. He looked back up to grab his sleepwear when he noticed the feminine clothes taking up a sliver of space in his closet. Curious, he flicked through them. His cock twitched at the frills and sheer fabric, and he blushed beneath his mask as he spluttered. “What is this?”

He heard Lelia’s heart skip a beat, and he turned around to see her young, anxious face peeking out from under the desk.

“My clothes,” she answered after a second of hesitation. “They’re all I have… except for my white dress. But it— it got mud on it.”

From cleaning his boots, no doubt. He felt a bit guilty about that, but he was still too stuck on the fact that she was claiming the pretty lingerie hanging in his closet was clothing to think much about that.

“This clothing is not fit for a whore!” He exclaimed, flustered. Perhaps he was exaggerating—for lingerie, it was quite tame, actually. It was soft and pretty, exactly the type of thing he liked on a woman. And that was why he was so upset—because now he was imagining coming back to his room everyday only to see this beautiful, unclaimed omega looking so perfectly fuckable, when he had already promised himself he would do no such thing.

His cock was half hard from the fantasies alone, and it took him a long moment to shake them from his head. That was when he recognized the salty scent of tears. His eyes widened and he looked back at the desk to see Lelia had disappeared beneath it once more. He couldn't hear a single stuttered breath or gasping sob, but that she was crying, he had no doubt.

Immediately, he was swarmed with guilt, and he quickly approached her nest, crouching down once again. She was just a small lump under a blanket at this point, one that was trembling from the force of her silent cries.

“Oh, Lelia…” he whispered helplessly, fighting the urge to reach in and pull her out again, to place her in his lap where she would be safe. Where he could keep her safe. Damn his Alpha instincts. “I am sorry. I did not mean to insinuate that you— that you are—”

His oversized hands gestured uselessly. She wasn’t even looking at him. But he couldn't bring himself to repeat what he had said, knowing how it had hurt her.

“I was just… surprised. Your clothes are— very pretty, but I do not think they are clothes, Schatz. They are for sleep, and— other things.”

König was bright red beneath his hood. He hated that he had made her cry. And not even because she was needlessly afraid of him—but because of his stupid big mouth. This was why he tried not to speak very often. He always ended up saying the wrong thing.

“I know,” Lelia whispered, voice small and endlessly sad. “But they’re all I have.”

“I will get you new clothes,” he found himself saying. What was he doing? He didn't even want an omega. Not when he knew they wouldn’t want him back, not really. Especially not one as sweet and pretty as Lelia. Especially not after he’d just accidentally called her a whore… yes, exactly. That was why he was doing this. Not because he wanted her, but because he felt bad. She had done him a kindness despite his standoffishness, and he had been rude in return. He needed to make amends. “Tomorrow. I will request them from the program. Or— you can shop online, if you would prefer, ja? I think the clothes the program will provide will not be very… fashionable.”

Lelia seemed like the type to care about that, if the pretty dress she’d worn today was any indication. Though that begged the question—if the dress was now in his closet, did that mean she was wearing lingerie now? Surely not, he would have noticed earlier when he held her… though he had been quite focused on checking her head for injuries…

“Are you going to fuck me?”

König choked on his spit, staring wide-eyed at the lump under the blanket, wondering where the hell that had come from. Until he realized he was hard as steel and practically soaking the room in aroused pheromones, just from the idea that the sweet little omega in front of him was dressed in nothing but frills and bows…

König tried and failed to reign in his scent, and the resigned, despondent voice continued.

“If— if it’s not too much to ask, could you— could you shower, first, Sir? I promise I’ll be good, and I’ll make it worth the wait, I just— it hurts my omega… to be t-taken if I can— can still s-smell someone else on you…”

König’s arousal abruptly died, mortification and shame replacing it. He had known she would smell Isa on him when he came back—had walked around base with her scent on him just to show just how displeased he was with the ridiculous Program. To show that he didn’t need or want an omega. And he hadn’t cared about how it would affect Lelia. It was thoughtless. It was cruel.

“Nein,” he responded firmly, and the blanket lump deflated, growing impossibly smaller. He quickly continued. “I am not going to— to take you.”

The lump perked up, and after an agonizingly long moment, Lelia sat up, the blanket falling off her shoulders and pooling in her lap. König’s mouth went dry and he swallowed as he saw the oversized pink camisole she was wearing. It had sweet little ruffles along the straps, and obscured the shape of her body, puffing out in front—but that only made her look pregnant, stirring his earlier fantasies about breeding her. He quickly looked away.

“Because you don’t want an omega?” She asked hesitantly. “Or— or because I’m a whore?”

König cursed himself in German, tugging anxiously at his mask.

“I did not mean to say that,” he answered, looking back at her, neck bent at an awkward angle so he could see her. She still had tear tracks on her face. He swallowed thickly. “That was unkind. I did not mean it. I do not think you are a whore.”

Even though he found it beyond strange that any omega would volunteer for a program like this, he wasn’t lying. When he looked at Lelia, truly looked at her without letting his fears and resentment get in the way, all he saw was a sad, scared girl too sweet for her own good. She was so easy to take advantage of, just like his mother had been. König wanted to protect her, and not just because of his instincts. But because in a way, it felt like he would be protecting his mother.

But Lia Adler had been selfish, choosing drugs over her son at every turn. Lelia, on the other hand, seemed like she would be a wonderful mother. He could make her one, if she wanted.

He immediately shut those thoughts down. Lelia was not his mother. She was not his anything. Conflating the two of them was so very wrong. Craving maternal affection from her even as he thought about knotting her… It was disgusting. König was disgusting. He looked away again.

“I will not take you,” he repeated. “I can smell your fear. You do not want me to claim you. I will not have an omega that does not want me.”

I will never have an omega at all, he thought, pained. No one ever wants me.

“You aren’t going to force me?” She asked warily. König had already known she thought he would, but hearing it still hurt. He would never force himself on a woman. Ever. And he would certainly never claim an omega against their will. “Or just fuck me without claiming me?”

“No,” he said sharply. “You do not want me to touch you. So I will not touch you. In any way.”

The sour smell of her fear was gone, though the saltiness of her tears still lingered in the air, tainting the otherwise delicious scent of flowers and vanilla. If she were his omega, he would make sure she always had a fresh bouquet. But she wasn't. And he didn’t want her to be.

“I don't understand,” she finally whispered, tone fragile. König frowned underneath his mask. Was it really so hard to believe that he might not be a complete monster?

But you are a monster.

“What is so hard to understand?” He asked, his accent growing thicker to hide his hurt. “I believe I have been very clear!”

Lelia cowered as he raised his voice, and König exhaled sharply through his nose as he tried to calm himself. She did not want him. Not even his cock like the betas he slept with. She was afraid of him. If he was going to survive this forced cohabitation, he had to stop scaring her.

“I am sorry,” he said through gritted teeth. Then, a little steadier, “We will sleep now. It is late, and I am tired.”

König stood up once again, returning to the closet to grab his sleep clothes. He hesitated before going into the small, cramped toilet to change. She would probably think he was going to rape her if he started undressing in front of her.  He suddenly groaned as he realized he was going to have to sleep with his mask on. He couldn't risk her seeing his face… his quarters had truly been stripped of their safe haven status. There was nowhere left on base where he could relax.

When he was done, he found Lelia curled up in her nest once again. He disliked the thought of her sleeping on the floor. It wasn't right. The gentlemanly thing to do would be to offer the bed to her while he took the floor. His Alpha, on the other hand, wanted to insist she sleep in bed with him, where he could protect her.

König did neither.

He laid in his bed and slid under the blankets, turning to face away from the little omega tucked under his desk, hoping she would feel a little calmer if he wasn’t looking at her. He could feel her eyes on him, assessing, but after a few moments, it seemed to work, at least a little bit. Her heart rate slowed down, not near enough for her to be asleep, but at least no longer drilling a hole into his eardrums with her anxiety.

[twwings]

so I spent the last few months just marathoning The Magnus Archives??? I was curious and I have a long-ish commute that I need to fill with audio, so I went for it. I was somewhat spoiled by fanart I saw randomly over the years but not entirely spoiled, and I quite enjoyed it. Some thoughts (both positive and negative thoughts below) because I wanted to write them down as I chew over the show. Also my ramblings might be pleasurable to folks who are big fans and enjoy hearing about people listening to their thing for the first time?

Spoilers for all of TMA, but as I haven't listened to The Magnus Protocol yet (I'm sure I will) no spoilers for that.

thoughts in no particular order:

didn't know that my trypophobia could be activated aurally! thanks, season one. it's good to learn about yourself

because I had seen lots of fanarts around, I knew that Jon/Martin would eventually be a canon thing, so I just spent the early episodes making fun of Jon whenever he was mean about Martin. Jon would be like "ugh, Martin, amirite?" and I'd yell at the car speakers like "lol you're gonna MARRY that guy"

sometimes I found the show a little boring or too expositiony (like the episode where Leitner shows up) and it made me think a lot about the conditions of production, like, having fans who were super into the show and red stringing it up clearly made them want to explain things sometimes in a way not necessary to the story - or, at least, it didn't feel necessary to me as a casual listener who was coming in after the fact and not part of the fandom. maybe it felt necessary for other folks, or to the cast and crew at the time.

relatedly, oh god, I did not keep up with all the plotlines and stuff. like it took me a WHILE to realize that the show was not just gonna be standalone/anthology stuff and would have an overarching plot so I did not pay attention early on to repeated names or plots. and because I was listening on my commute I was like "welp, can't google it, gonna let it go" and I did. I'm here to tell you that the magnus archives is still enjoyable even if you don't care that much about what's going on

when I did really start to care was the end of season four/season five. absolutely love that they went there with the end of season four (I thought it'd just be a buffy-style "now we fight a BIGGER big bad at the end of this season" escalation forever, but no, they unleashed hell on earth, baller move, A+, loved it

so I was spoiled that Martin (and Jon? I wasn't sure) died at some point, though I didn't really know where or how. I also saw someone post something like "oh TMA, great show, too bad it ends after five minutes into episode 160" so from that I kind of extrapolated that Martin died in episode 160? so my experience of listening to that one was REALLY on tenterhooks because the first five minutes was Martin going for a nice walk! and then Jon getting taken over by the statement! so while listening to the middle bit of 160 I was convinced that when Martin came back from his walk Jon was gonna kill him (while possessed, obviously) as part of the ritual thing. so really the following 40 episodes of Martin being alive were pretty sweet to me. Every episode after that when Martin was alive I was like, score, bonus, love it, I'm glad Jon didn't stab him three seconds after they got into a relationship

kept listening for a physical description of Jon to match all the fanart and never got one? I guess the fanon of what Jon looks like is just super consistent for some reason?

hated Tim, I can't disguise it, I hated Tim and I was glad when he died and I was glad he didn't come back, sorry Tim fans, live your truth and I will live mine

wish there weren't so many cops on this show, tho the show did seem to recognize that a little in S5 and try to do some things about it

I'm just a huge sucker for every genre experiment in S5. omg I loved it. Terminus gets a coroner's report, The Unknowing gets slam poetry, The Flesh gets a gardening manual?????? mwah. it made me excited for the format of the statements again when they'd gotten stale. so many smart and interesting genre experiments in S5! and I, like Jon, don't even like poetry (just write some prose! I've never identified with a character more), so you know I'm impressed when I'm exclaiming about some poem

seriously! the genre experiments!!! so good

"queer couple navigate their new relationship and also The Hellscapes" = amazing, ty, also ty for doing it twice

somehow I managed not to notice the line about Jon being asexual at first and then I saw some tumblr post about it and I was like, wait what? my brain had gone pretty far down into some non-asexual fanfiction stories before I got that bit of canon and had to record-scratch freeze-frame. anyway I am pleased by the ace rep and hope to go read some non-sexual D/s for them in the future, please tell me if you know some good stuff

please also tell me if you know about fanfictions where Martin consensually feeds Jon his own memories and it's weird and intense

saw a cute fluffy domestic fanart where Jon was blind (ie had blinded himself to escape the eye) and I laughed and laughed that this is a fandom in which the happy fluffy AUs are the ones where the characters have violently blinded themselves. not to say I'm not gonna read the fluffy AUs where they've violently blinded themselves, I am, I'm sure they're lovely, it's just funny

don't think I wasn't thinking about Crowley and Aziraphale in the episode where Jon is like "what if we ran away together" in season four. When Jon is like "What if we ran away together, you and me, we could do it, what if we did" and he absolutely knows that Martin is not gonna say yes and maybe he doesn't want Martin to say yes but he wants to ask him anyway, he wants to try it anyway, because the fantasy of escape, together, is overpowering. anyway don't think I didn't think about Crowley

also laughed and laughed at the like four episodes at the end where Jon is like "maybe I should . . . . . . . . . . . become the Torment Nexus? From the classic scifi novel, Don't Become the Torment Nexus?" and first Martin and then everyone else is like "Jon, don't become the Torment Nexus" and it's really clear that you should not become the Torment Nexus but then later Jon says fuck it and becomes the Torment Nexus

I say it's really clear but the idea that you should strand and isolate and burn out the powers is not a bad one. I did like that the second to last episode was just a debate on morality with no clear resolution. that's a lovely way to send off your characters. tho it didn't matter a lot to the end plot? but still.

Jon "I think I'll just become the Torment Nexus" Simms, istg

THE TORMENT NEXUS

Sue Simms' voice is incredibly hot, Gertrude Robinson is absolutely deadass smokin, love how the Legend of Gertrude just built up over the seasons until by the end she was this like powerful callous avenging angel, no notes, might build a shrine in the woods with pictures of Gertrude in little jars

Gerry and Jurgen were both madly in love with her and she didn't notice or care because she was too busy kicking ass, no notes AT ALL

I really like the bit at the beginning of S5 where Jon is depression-listening to old archives tapes, like it's really effective to do the birthday party flashback just there when the world's just been apocalypsed, but I can't stop thinking about how Jon is listening to that tape and, in retrospect, being like "did Elias/Jonah use his all-powerful knowledge and vision to find out that there was cake in the office?" idk it really feels like Elias's motives in that flashback are like "eat cake" and no one else realizes that he's used his monstrous evil eye power to locate cake. anyway I imagine that Jon had all of these thoughts during his depression

Basira made me laugh ALL THE TIME, the voice acting was so good and she was so over everyone's shit. but at the same time there's this real softness to her at the end of S5 after she's killed Daisy, like she's still tough and grounded in her own perspective but suddenly more compassionate or sympathetic. she has such a good journey over the show

were Basira and Daisy a thing? I could not tell. maybe I should not ask. maybe I am not meant to know. maybe even asking shows how little I know, because their intense and murderous bond exceeds traditional relationship categories

I had a really nice time!!!

I will need to read fanfictions

I will need to watch animatics

I will need to seek out fanarts

the end

[thechaoticplayer]

I just read your Fulgur hate sex fic, and holy shit man, that was some good food. Thanks for the meal-

I adore seeing dom reader, so if it’s not too much to ask (meaning I’m completely fine if you skip this request.) Could I get something similar, to the Fulgur fic, but with Vox instead?

I’m delulu, sorry-

Thanks for the lovely content tho!

Author's Note: dom reader dom reader dom reader *chants it like a spell* also tysm for the compliment widheie this request made me giggle n shit

Summary: Vox claims to be always dominant, that no one in the world could possibly make the voice demon submissive. You decide to find that out for yourself.

Contains: dom! reader, oh my sub Vox, disgusting smut, bondage, stuffing something in Vox's mouth to shut his ass up, degrading, my what a dirty fucking drabble this is (cant even count as a fic bc it's so fucking short wtf)

"I'm the most dominant male in all of NIJISANJI," VOX AKUMA declares, with a dramatic flip of his long black hair. You couldn't help but roll your eyes at his dramatic self.

"I bet I could dominate your ass," you reply, leaning across the table.

You and Vox were hanging out at his home for an off collab. You two weren't streaming right now, however. that wouldn't be for a good couple of hours.

It would be a good idea to find out something you've been wanting to know for a while anyway.

Vox's eyes twinkled mischievously. "Oh? You think so?" He leans down to your level, elbow on the table to look you in the eye. "That's a rather brazen declaration, no?"

"I wouldn't say something and not back it up with anything factual," you answer, smiling innocently. "I'm not a liar, baby."

"Well I-" Vox pauses, suddenly catching onto the pet name. "I... well. Uh."

You've been watching his streams for a really long time, even before you became a streamer yourself. Let's say, you researched beforehand. One stream he had said the one thing that would fluster him was randomly flirting with him.

"What's wrong, my darling Vox?" You whisper, tapping his nose with a finger. He blinks, a small blush spreading through his cheeks. "Cat got your tongue?"

"Silly girl. You? You're just a cute little kitten trying to play with fire," he responds with a smirk, taking your wrist in his hand. "I'm double your size, sweetheart."

"The bigger they are, the harder they fall, yeah?" You reply calmly, not even fazed. "How about we make a bet?"

Vox raises a brow. "Hmm. Depends on what is at stake."

"Your pride," you grin, bringing his knuckles to your lips. "Or mine. Whoever moans or says the other's name, is the loser."

"What are you suggesting exactly?" Vox asks, trying to hide his smirk.

"Don't play stupid, demon," you scoff, biting his finger hard and he hisses slightly. "Sex. You. Me. Whoever breaks first is the loser."

"My, wanting to have sex with me that badly?" Vox chuckles. "Before stream? This could go on for hours and hours. I don't bow down that easily."

"Oh, you will," you say matter-of-factly.

You pick up your big bag from the floor and drop it on the table with a thud. You unzip without hesitation to reveal rope and a pair of handcuffs. And...

You pluck out a shiny collar and leash with a evil glint in your eye. "You'll be the one begging, Mister Vox Akuma."

"Kinky thing you are," Vox rumbles, watching you with growing lust in his eyes. "As if I'd let you put that shit on me."

"It's all apart of the bet. I'm sure you'll break within moments. But, if you don't want to and wanna pussy out instead..." You trail off, the edge of your mouth quirking up as you await his response.

Vox is visibly mulling the statement over as you spin the handcuffs with a finger. "How long do I have to hold out for?"

"An hour," you say, nodding. "I don't want to break you too much."

"Confident bitch," Vox retorts.

"Just get on the damn couch. We don't have all day."

Grumbling but obviously aroused; the tent in his pants evident. You chortle, bringing the "toys" over to his couch.

"So what, I just sit here and let you have your way with me?" Vox asks, plopping down on the couch.

"Without moaning like a whore," you add, snapping the rope with a tilt of your head.

"You're starting to scare me a bit with that look in your eye," Vox jokes as you slide into his lap.

You shrug, closing the distance between you and him. A feather light kiss as you slowly grind against his hard erection. The voice demon grunts softly, but is stubbornly refusing to give in.

You giggle against his lips, starting to bind his hands together. "You're already starting to break?"

"Listen here bitch," Vox growls as he leans forward, and you surprisingly don't fall back.

You tighten the rope harshly and you notice his hands twitch. You smirk. "What's wrong? scared of not being in charge? a pity."

He opens his mouth, probably to spit venomous words but you quickly shove a ball gag in his mouth. You clip it behind his head and sit back as his eyes widen in shock.

"I'm going to need you to settle down," you explain, scooting backwards until your feet touch the floor and you kneel on the floor. You begin unbuttoning his pants. "It'd be difficult for me to do this next part if you're squirming and all that."

A small chuff of disbelief, but he allows you to do what you wish. His length is released from its confine, standing to attention. Hard, and extremely girthy. In other words, Vox is fucking huge. But that won't be a problem.

With a hand, you begin to pump the base of his erection, tracing a vein with your fingertip. You observe his FACIAL expressions, the way his eyes darkened with each pump. You smirk, sticking out your tongue to press it flat against his tip. You lick his erection, the other hand rubbing circles over his slit that was already leaking pre cum.

With your ministrations, Vox grunted softly, your touches light and teasing. He wanted his cock in your mouth already, but you're too stubborn to do so. Pumping faster, kissing his fat tip lightly. Vox growls deep in his throat, getting agitated, fidgeting hands but them being tied up, he was helpless. Vox jerks his hips up slightly, almost slipping his cock inside your mouth if you weren't quick enough.

"Patience, big boy."

As punishment, you slow your pace, which causes Vox to groan through the gag. You smirk, finding his frustration rather amusing. Kitten licking his pulsating dick while his legs twitched.

Then you decide enough is enough, you want this man moaning already. Only fifteen minutes in.

You open your mouth and his cock hits the back of your throat. You can't fit the whole thing in your mouth, it would be impossible, so you stroke the base with a hand. Bobbing your head up and down and nearly gagging but not because your pride is on the line, duh.

Vox is obviously surprised by the sudden action, but isn't complaining. Head thrown back as his chest heaves, holding back any sort of sound. Biting down on the gag so hard, you were surprised it didn't break.

"What's wrong?" You ask for a brief moment, taking your air in before enveloping your mouth around Vox once more.

He grunts in response, bucking upward and repeatedly his tip touches the back of your throat. You groan, the vibrations shooting up Vox's cock and his legs quiver. Breathing rapidly as his eyes flutter shut, a small whimper slipping past his lips.

You instantly halt your movements, pulling away from Vox's length, the drool from your lower lip connecting with the angry red tip. Vox makes a sound, something between a whine and a protest. His cheeks are flushed red and the rope rubs against his pale skin harshly.

"Poor poor demon," you coo, digging your nails into his thighs. Vox closes his eyes for a second. "Do you want to cum? I know you're close. Just let out all the noises and I'll let you cum and let you go."

Something like a scoff comes out his mouth, refusing to meet your gaze. You roll your eyes, leaning close to his member and twirling your tongue on the tip. Another small whimper and a jerk.

You stand up and unclip the gag in his mouth and tilt your head. "What will it be, Vox Akuma? Either you give up and let me win, or I keep constantly edging you and edging you so bad, and do nothing about it until the hour is up."

You cock an eyebrow at him, waiting. You give his cock a lazy pump and he moans quietly.

"Alright, alright! You win! just..." Vox trails off.

"Hmm?" A harsh pump and he releases a shaky moan again.

"Let me cum," he begs, twisting his hands around the rope that restrained him. "please. I can't..."

You smile sweetly before going down on him.

Vox doesn't hide his loud moans anymore, sweat collecting on his skin as the orgasm hits him hard. Head against the pillow, mouth wide open as he whimpers and grunts and moans. Twitching and quivering and begging.

You found what you were looking for.

[mrhowells]

Smallville 5x06

"How you ever had a crush on Richie Cunningham, I will never understand."

I'm actually so easy to please

"And Lois... *laughs* I'd do anything to get rid of Lois."

but thinking about how annoying she is makes him laugh, soooooo... she's a good influence, I rest my case😌😌

Jonathan knows too, like-

Chloe & Lois as an investigative duo are actually really fun

Lex really lives in Jonathan's head rent free💀💀

ohmygoooooddd

MOTHER.

"She's here to dance."

Chloe really threw Lois under the bus like that I'm cryingsjakjsha

the struggle is real💀

SOOOOO let's see if Jonathan actually apologizes when it turns out Lex didn't do anything

CLARKFNKLJFDISLYS

COVER YOUR EYES SWEET SUMMER CHILD

Lois x bisexual lighting I LIVEEEE

they did that for me😭😌

"I'll have a coke😇" ... "S- straight up, on the rocks.😤"

JAkhsshfdlskaBOOBOO WHAT ARE YOU-

I just choked on my ice cream

LMAOOOOOO bless his heart

THE STRUGGLE IS REAL PART 2 I'M CRYINDHSGFJFKD

I'm really not ready for what's about to go down here😭😭

🎶DON'T YOU WISH YOUR GIRLFRIEND WAS HOT LIKEEE MEEEEEEE🎶

Someone needs to go to jail for that music choice💀💀

TOM WELLING YOUR FACE JOURNEYS. LET ME SAY THANK YOU KING🙇‍♀️

this is history in the making. absolutely iconic.

🎶DON'T YOU WISH YOUR GIRLFRIEND WAS WRONG LIKE MEEEEEE🎶🎶

i do wish she was my girlfriend actually they're so right

aaand she's getting into it

ON MY FUCKING KNEES FOR HER MA'AM YOUR HAND IN MARRIAGE PLEASEEEE

he's kind of giving me:

PLEASEWSWKRJWOPQP

EVERY SINGLE FRAME OF THIS IS SO FUCKING ICONIC LIKE WHAT DO I EVEN SAY??

it's okay bb, we're all looking respectfully right now

💀💀💀THE STRUGGLE IS REAL PT.3

SOMEONE PLEASE HELP THIS BEAN

kshadjwka his fight or flight is kicking in😭😭

"What are you doing here?" "What are YOU doing here?"

story of their life fr

the struggle has never been more real, pray for Clark💀

.

they did that.

smallville writers really did that.

legend behaviour if you ask me

i would like to take this moment and say thank you.

"I've never been in a position where people look up to me."

This is such a silly statement, Jonathan is literally the person Clark looks up to the most. His bigger personality flaws clearly come from Jonathan's influence💀 (not to say he didn't also learn a lot of good traits from him -he absolutely did- but you know)

I'm really curious what Lex's (and Jonathan's) politics are actually, don't be shy writers tell me👀

SIR I NEED YOU TO STEP AWAY FROM MY WIFE IMMEDIATELY

creepy mf

"Hey 007. Nice of you to show up." "I'll start assuming that means thank you?"

giggling kicking my feet

"I can't touch him." "Well, I can."

I'VE SAID IT BEFORE AND I'LL SAY IT AGAIN, MOTHERRRR

pls his face😭

he knows he could never be as cool as her

THIS SHOT MAKES ME FERAL

my parents🥹

(listen the shit i went through to upload this last picture tho, i hit the upload limit and had to delete stuff, then i accidentally deleted the whole post for a second🤡 my whole life flashed before my eyes💀💀)

Lex talking about a guy falling in love with his best friend's wife uh oh, no thank youuuuu😬😬

He was making a good point though.

"The thing I always try to remember is, no matter how much le lays on, he never expects more than he expects from himself."

Clark really grew up didn't he😭😭

"What are you doing, you just moved back in."

from the guy who said "I'd do anything to get of Lois." at the beginning of the episode, what in the clownery🤡🤡

All men do is lie.

she's such a menace, I LOVE HER😭😭

AND HE CAN'T STAY MAD AT HER LOOK AT HIS FACEEEEE

they're secret bffs your honor😭

I LOVE THEMMM IT'S ACTUALLY SO SERIOUS

"And you didn't have to come after me but you always do. So I wanted to say thank you. You're a really good friend."

GOING INSANE ON THIS SATURDAY NIGHT

CUT IT OUT YOU ASSHOLES I'M TRYING TO STAY NORMAL UNTIL SEASON 8 QUIT EYE FUCKINGZFGDUWEOAK

well. stay normal challenge failed again but that's exactly how i thought this would go, sooo

Question for the people: should i even tag Lex in posts like this? I don't think twice about tagging characters like Jonathan because I don't expect fans to look through his tag for him specifically, but i know people do it with Lex and I feel bad at the thought of them having to scroll through me losing my mind over Clois with a few Lex mentions in between. Lex fans lemme know

[crazykuroneko]

IWTV S2E5 Musings

Long ass note under the cut, but tl;dr Louis & Old Daniel is my new brotp. Armand can't take it away from me. And Armand has a PhD in gaslighting

• The impersonal statements Daniel pointing out. The implanted phrases Armand supposedly gave to Louis. Somehow my mind recalls the "vampire bond" explanation. The way Louis said it in S1 is like he's reading from a book.

• Current Louis knows Santiago's plotting

• Of course Armand is a lame crypto man 😭

• "His methodology is never violent" Oh, Louis

• "Armand preserves my happiness, even when I don't or can't" 🚨

• Louis still likes his coffin lined with a green silk 😭

• Young Daniel acts like a loser. I'm so sorry, I'm trying to take him seriously but he's funny lol

• "You're lonely. You're thrill seeking" Oh he reads him so bad. Why Louis stay with Armand tho?

• Louis and Young Daniel are just saying exactlyyyyy to one another lol

• Louis was agitated when Young Daniel pointed out the use of past tense on Claudia

• Louis is already in suicidal mind set even before Armand comes

• Interesting. The way Louis is reading his thoughts here. As in literal reading. He can't be in Daniel's mind (e.g. seeing what Daniel is seeing), his ability is limited to what Daniel's thinking. And Daniel is not thinking to himself, he just opens the Talamasca recordings right away. Thus Louis can only feel Hesitation from his mind, bu he doesn't know exactly what for

• "You don't have enough to fear from Paris?" On revealing their nature. I knew Louis had the man in the park an Roget. But why does this sound something bigger happened in Paris with the humans?

• "Is it the gremlin or good nurse tonight?" Well, he decided to be both tonight 💀

• "Throw pillow" "Use Claudia just to circle back to Lestat" So rich of him to shade Louis for his guilt over Claudia when he's the one who killed her.

• "It's all coming back" "Paris.." Louis forgets most of Paris?

• "She's calling me" I wonder if Louis is remembering Claudia calling him during her last moments

• No, I don't think Armand expected or waited for Louis to come into the sun like that. But he's definitely MAD because of that

• Armand is on mission to figure out what makes Young Daniel and Lestat interesting to Louis. Because Louis said he's dull

• "An instinct to self-efface" yes, both Daniel and Louis have that

• Armand kept Louis writhing in pain w/o blood for 4 days???

• Not @ Dubai Louis still giving excuses for Armand to Daniel 😭

• Armand calling Lestat. Lestat doesn't know where Louis is. Armand refuses to tell where they are.

• "You try! You were there!" Newfound friends found bickering lol

• "If you want insanity back, if you want to escape this prison of emphaty" Armand really says "Yes, I'm caging you, but you think this is bad? Well, you had it worse with him you wanna go back there??"

• Armand's tone during the coffin scene is very soft, but he's actually making himself clear he's mad MAD. Mad that Louis is trying to goad Lestat back to him again through the interview. Seeing how Louis always fast to reassure Armand with "all I said is trash" about Lestat, this is definitely an old problem to them. It makes me curious what made Louis stay with Armand post-Paris. What happened in Paris exactly? Lestat definitely knows Louis is alive and with Armand, unlike in the books. What has made him stay away? Did Louis pull a Nicki on him in Paris? Edit: wait, what if Armand reaches out to Lestat here is the equivalent of him going to NOLA in TVL and goes "news flash, Louis is actually alive. we were/are together"? Daniel doesn't hear Armand's first sentence to Lestat. and by that time, Louis does know lestat is alive but still numb 🤔 Armand mentions if Louis wants Lestat to chase him again, that's definitely about Lestat coming to Paris after the patricide.

• "All you had to do was ask" he says to the burnt Louis who is in need of his blood. A war flashback to "The silence is cruel. But you're never cruel" but in worse condition.

• Armand, making it clear he is extremely mad at Louis for trying to reach Lestat, that Louis is ungrateful cos he's been treating him better than Lestat, then dangling this channel of communication to Lestat in front of him, making Louis feels bad and coercing him to reassure him again. Armand has a PhD in gaslighting.

• The words from Armand afterwards. Louis certainly knows his answer but well, you can't answer that if you don't want Armand blowing up again.

• Armand only answers Louis back with Maitre once Louis assures him that he will stay with him.

• "I'm a bright young reporter with a point of view" Young Daniel is full of life and optimistic. Stubborn, refusing Armand's words, but they work. Then Louis came, saying it back to him, give him more words to re-find that motivation to live. Give him words to live on.

• Ngl I almost teared up to this scene with Louis and Old Daniel. They're precious as friends.

• To alter and surpress Daniel's memory, Daniel is already under a stage where he's very easy to be influenced and they give more drugs again.

• Old Daniel beeds to stay alive. I want Louis has one (1) friend that call out his and his boyfriend(s)' bullshits 😭

[one-strugling-bean]

Update on my TMA binge: 1st season has been finished.

Below are my main sticking points:

The voice acting is so gooooooood!! Im loving everyone's voices - they all portray their characters emotions and personalities so well!

Jon kinda has the golden medal tho, since hes by far the most prominent voice

Abt the side characters - Martin took me by surprise so hard when he first spoke. I was expecting like..... A big, chill himbo. Kinda like Kronk or Launchpad but less loud, with a grave voice. (Ig part of me had imagined the Martin from Adventure Time?) I was def not expecting the voice of a prepubescent teen.

Anyway, he's baby. Precious to no end but also surprisingly useful and smart? He's an absolute 10/10 I mean. Would buy him sweets and listen to his rambles abt spiders (jon how can you call him a useless ass, he's so un-insultable??? q~q)

Sashaaaaaaa what happened to my favorite gurl???? And also the only one... She was literally the only reason everyone else escaped the worms, Sasha saved everyone's butts. By far the most competent and brave of the squad - a true Gryffindor u-u

But im afraid she died from whatever got her in the storage unit... I've been skimming through the comment section on each episode's youtube video, and some of them seem to imply she's dead for good... I reaaaaally don't want that to be true, she was so cool!! and the single holder of the Archives braincell!! I dont want her to die ;-;

And Tim!! Tim had the least amount of recorded time, but he's already a fave too. Him pretending to be Jon right before Sasha tackled him was so so funny. Also, ig he's kinda what I thought Martin would be. So no losses there!

Elias is.... Weird. Weird in the sense that he seems so obviously suspicious, i hesitate to pin the blame of anything on him. Like it's too easy to be true you know??? Like they're making him look shady on purpose to distract us from the actual shadiness going on. Idk though. He's shown up so little until now he might just have nothing to do with nothing, or be the big final boss. He's got me very confused (also his voice is sooooo cool, i love it. He gives me stern professor vibes)

How much the statements creep me out highly depends on what they're abt. Like, so far, the scariest have been Piecemeal 14#, Lost John's Cave 15#, and Infestation 39# purely because of all the screaming.

And abt the bigger story..... Idk about anything yet, but I'm very curious indeed.

The Dreamer #11 keeps coming back to me when i try to piece it together. Wth was supposed to happen to Gertrude?? Did it come to pass, and it was somehow how she ended up shot, or... did she find a way to kill herself so as not to have to face that fate?? And now Jon has to because he's in her place???

I rly dunno abt anything yet. Im just vibin and listening to all these spooks and having fun. I shall continue doing so rn actually.

End statement or whatever :p

(part 3 has been posted)

[thecoolerliauditore]

I've only seen Scar's episode so far, but I dont think i liked this one. Like the food wild card was beatable, but the snails just feel anti-gameplay. And the deaths didn't feel impactful because there were so many and they weren't because of the other players. It feels like the worst aspects of limited life and secret life again. Maybe im too critical but im just kinda disappointed

wasn't gonna answer this one cus I felt like I'd already made one too many hater posts for an episode I really didn't hate all that much but the dash is also talking about this and. yeah.

i think "intrusive" is a good word to use.

In all fairness I do think the unbalanced-ness of it and it demolishing player agency the way it did weren't exactly purposeful. I hate making statements like I can read CC's minds but I do think it is saying something that the session ended as quickly as it did and in nearly all of the POVs I watched there was at least one person half-joking about ending the session early (or just straight up logging out) before it actually happened. Like I don't want to say the CCs were actively aware the mechanic had gone wrong but I do think it's saying something that Bdubs ended his episode chanting for the session to end lol.

In that sense I really think any criticism I or anyone else could have for the gameplay side of the mechanic is relatively useless. I think the CCs are fairly aware this one didn't exactly go as planned. Doesn't stop me from bitching about it on my blog tho.

As for the game-show-ification of the life series (which you didn't mention directly anon but I've seen this sentiment attached to posts about the mechanic a lot and "worst aspects of limited life and secret life" echoes it enough) I do agree However like I mentioned before I think we do have to keep in mind that Grian is making a youtube series first things first. And while I and alot of people are not the biggest fans of the BIGGER ! FLASHIER ! MINI-GAME-ER ! direction the series has taken that's more or less the logical way to go when it comes to youtube.

I love last life. I would love to see a last life 2. but I don't know if the 13 year olds this series is geared towards are looking forward to last life 2. (<-- plus I do think people overestimate a little bit just how entertaining watching the CCs play with the same mechanics again would be now that they have established dynamics and knowledge of how the mechanic works. If they just did the same ruleset over and over I guarantee you it would've gone in the more sweaty, powergamer-y direction than the silly haha funny snails direction which would've also felt alienating)

For what it is I'm still enjoying the series, so clearly they're doing something right. And I don't feel like I'm in a position where I can tell them to do their jobs. It's just that. sighs. I wish Gem was introduced in LL man I really wish she was.

[kalcifers-blog]

so...antisepticeye is an avatar of what? (TMA)

OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS QUESTION OKAY SO.

Here's the thing. Anti is kinda the hardest Ego to sort into a TMA entity because of the fact his direct inspiration is fear itself which people could make the argument that he's all of them?? But I do think that there are a few that he aligns with more (I'm strictly going off what we know for certain about Anti so far)

I know the one everyone would probably think is The Eye- he has elements of continuously watching- needing to be seen, and the obvious strong eye motifs, my personal opinion tho is that Anti isn't actually Eye Aligned himself but is only heavily associated with The Eye because he's tormenting Chase Brody/Marvin (?) (who are WAY more Eye coded in my brain)

So immediately my first thought was that he's aligned with The Web- there's an ongoing theme of him wanting to be in control over everything and would do anything to do so, plus the visuals to signify Anti's presence has almost always been about people losing control over their own self (however this is more aligned with the original Anti stuff)

My second immediate thought is that he'd be some kind of Avatar for The Spiral- in Void Silver he's described as "A man who was not there" (almost an identical description of a spiral statement in TMA) and his method of gaining control over people is their mental deterioration and them slowly losing grip on reality- Chase is the best example of this but it's confirmed that he's not the only one considering Dr Hansen knew exactly what Chase was experiencing (meaning he's not the first) Honestly if anything I would go as far as to say that The Spiral is the strongest contender for Anti.

As a few side notes- The Stranger could be one? Idk something about an Eldritch Being stealing your face to murder your family just to torment you- something that looks human but definitely isn't is very Stranger Aligned- as well as the fact that a lot of the horror Anti utilizes is the horror of the unknown (could be argued this is more Dark aligned which is why I feel less strongly about this one)

I was going to make an argument for The Slaughter but I think that's only because of the violence/forcing someone to be harmed thing- other than that there isn't much to go off of (currently speaking)

But yeah this ended up being way bigger than I expected so I hope you enjoy my rambles about this unbelievably niche topic XDDDD

[girlbossblackbeard]

Okay in honor of the high likelihood that we're getting the s2 trailer today I wanted to post this draft that I've been sitting on for like a month so it wouldn't be tainted by any juicy new tidbits we might get today:

I can't wait to look back on this post and either celebrate my future-seeing psychic abilities or laugh/cry at how naïve i was so here goes-

These are my predictions for the basic narrative structure of s2 (based off of a 10 ep season):

-I think it's gonna be your typical 3 act story arc: act 1 is resolving the conflict that was set up at the end of last season, act 2 is exploring the consequences of that resolution (the good and the bad) and setting up/discovering a new, bigger conflict to worry about, and act 3 is the drama of either confronting that bigger conflict for the first time but not fighting it yet, or starting to fight the bigger conflict but ending the season on a "holy shit we're fucked" note (that gets resolved in act 1 of the next season)

-similar to s1, episodes 1-3 are act 1: they're going to be spent resolving the Ed/Stede/Crew being separated issue with Ed and Stede finally reuniting (or about to reunite) at the end of ep 3. Narratively this makes sense to me since the big immediate issue is the physical separation of the two love interests, so the writers might want to "resolve" that issue sooner rather than later bc audiences don't want to see their faves separated for too long even if it makes for good character development and conflict. Ed is gonna be sad but try to seem aloof, Stede is probably gonna be told all about Ed's transgressions with the crew which will create more opportunity for complex emotions on Stede's side. Also he and the crew are gonna steal a ship or something and Stede is gonna start showing signs of *gasp * semi-competency when it comes to captaining. Also I don't know which ep exactly but I think we'll get Lucius back in this act (I hope)

-episodes 4-7 are act two: they're gonna be a mixture of funny awkward exes era for Ed and Stede with a healthy dash of some angst and miscommunication thrown in there for good measure. Ed is gonna slowly have the ice around his heart get melted from being in close proximity to the sun (Stede's unintentional charm combined with his newfound competence will be literally impossible for anyone to ignore, let alone Ed) and Stede is going to FINALLY start to realize how deeply he hurt Ed by leaving and HOPEFULLY understand that the core reason Ed was hurt was bc he actively wanted Stede by his side (cue more confidence-building for Stede)

-episode 8 is when they Do It

-on a less jokey note (even tho I'm kinda dead serious about the statement above) episode 8 is in a weird limbo where it's the transitional ep between acts 2 and 3. I think this is when we'll finally get the love confession from Stede. since act 2 finally put them both on equal footing and they're no longer actively mad at each other, I'm predicting ep 8 is when they finally sit down and hash it all out - why stede left, why Ed went kraken mode, how they hurt each other and the crew, and how they want to move forward. idk if this will be a big dramatic yelling conversation where stede blurts out something like "because I love you, you nut!!!" or if it'll be a quiet conversation where stede gently says "because I love you, you nut 🥺" but either way I think stede confesses this ep. Does Ed reveal he loves stede in return? Idk man!!! But once stede raises the emotional atmosphere to dizzying heights with his confession they'll be overcome with passion and flap their jacks or whatever. either the ep will end on a sweet note with no ominous signs of the next Big Bad brewing, or the very sweet and intimate afterglow will get interrupted by big scary news about some threat on the horizon. which brings us to act 3:

-episode 9 will fully introduce the Big Bad of the season (maybe whatever/whomever it is had already been talked about in previous eps, hell maybe they've been seen on-screen in previous eps like chauncy, but this will be when the main villain/issue reveals the full extent of how much of a threat they are). Ed and Stede will kick into co-captain mode which will either have a bit of a rocky start as they're still working through fully trusting one another again or it'll be so seamless and in-synch it actually visibly shocks the crew. this ep will be when plans are made on how to defeat the Big Bad

-and finally, ep 10 will be the showdown with the Big Bad where the crew implements whatever plan they made. oh fuck I just remembered the revenge is probably not gonna make it through this season. this might be the ep where she gets blown tf up for strategy purposes idk. someone (probs buttons, but maybe the Swede) will make a Viking funeral comment. anyway the crew will likely pull off the plan, but right at the end of the ep they'll discover that the threat is actually way bigger than they thought and THAT will be the cliffhanger/set up for s3

[sizzlingpatrolfox]

More than whether he has a girlfriend or not, JK's persistence in feeding his y/n's delusions is annoying. And then he wonders why his fans are so crazy and stalkery. If you leave your gate open and house unlocked, I won't be able to act like it's not partially your fault when you get robbed blind. So if you spend all your time making statements like ARMYs are my girlfriends and ohh I have no time for one, and then your fans stalk you to the gym, or spend their hours trying to look into your house - I don't want to victim blame but maybe JK should take some responsibility too especially since he's obviously benefiting in other ways which is why he keeps doing this.

I'm glad Jimin grew out of this phase - he always set boundaries but he used to be a bit more lenient indulging this sort of behaviour in the past. Nowadays he almost always (sweetly) shuts y/n's down and even shipping-wise, he treats all the members pretty similarly - not that that helps much but still. JK with his y/n's and Tae with his shippers - they should really tone it down.

- I doubt JK is lying but all he said is that he doesn't have a girlfriend. He didn't confirm or deny the video. Chances are she's just a hookup and today's remarks will be enough to kill this whole discourse. Plus he posted a new Tiktok so that'll be a good distraction too.

Well it stemmed from a pretty gross violation of privacy so it's just as well I guess.

Tae should take some notes honestly. Him staying mum during the photo leaks, the whole following and unfollowing Jennie ig debacle and the (in my opinion) botched soft launch of their relationship in Paris - that was one L after another.

---

No, he didn't say it wasn't him in the video. And there are more photos of him inside his apartment, from the same angle of the video. I only saw one where he's cooking and it's literally the same kitchen, same trashbins and all. I'm pretty sure it is him in that video.

I also never said that was his girlfriend, just a girl he was having sex with, so this changes nothing for me because my question was "is it Jungkook in that video?" no "does Jungkook have a girlfriend right now?" There is a difference.

Besides, he said he's not going to sue them - why couldn't he have clarified that it's not him in the video in the same sentence? Just saying that someone was spreading lies about him, or spreading false footage claiming it's him would've been fine. He confirmed tho that there's something that could be sued, he's just not going to. He also said he doesn't have a girlfriend right now because he wants to work. But back then when the video was allegedly filmed he wasn't working, so.

Not to mention everyone -shippers included- saying "he should sue those stalkers" like girlssss I thought that wasn't him being stalked? JSKSJD but well. That's about the fandom and not really about him.

I can't with jikookers tho, because some others are saying "well, he's not going to admit to having a girlfriend" and they're right. Jikookers have spent two years calling Jimin and Jungkook liars but now they're trying to act like the bigger person acting like they're offended at people calling him opportunistic and an editor of the truth. Like they don't do that themselves everytime their imagination of jikook doesn't fit reality.

For the record, I actually believe they would deny a girlfriend even if they had one. I said that months and months ago, that they would deny a relationship if it was the best thing to do because they're putting their careers first. ESPECIALLY Jungkook now, who's so desperate for fame. He'd literally be the first to deny a girlfriend the most vehemently even if he had one.

Not to mention it was the wrong place and time to say "actually yeah I have a girlfriend". Like I'm going to need people to be real.

The women who date people like them know that. They know they're not going to be acknowledged publicly. Chen was it? From exo. He's not even as famous as BTS and he never admitted to having a girlfriend, even though a lot of his fans already knew about it. He only came through when he had to get married, and that's what most do. So, if idols who are far less popular than BTS are keeping their romantic lives private, do army really think BTS -who have way more to lose- wouldn't do the same?????

As fun as gossip is and sometimes you just want to watch the world burn, I also don't really believe that they should admit to relationships. Part of me thinks that in case of taennie for example, all those photos were leaked and they've been seen together, they should've acknowledged it out of respect. On the other hand, they don't really owe anyone an explanation.

There's stuff that bothers me on a personal level, like once Harry Styles said he's never had a public relationship, when in fact everyone in the world who's interested could make a timeline of every single relationship he's ever had in his life because of how public he was about it. But... the thing is he was seen in public with his girlfriends but he never acknowledged them to the public. He doesn't get asked about them in interviews, fans don't ask him about it either. He doesn't even speak to the fans outside of his concerts. He definitely never brings up his girlfriends on conversations either. He doesn't show up to events with them.

So that bothered me a lot when he said that because it's very gaslight-y imo. Like, dude... we've seen it all. We've seen you with them. And the thing about taennie is pathetic to me in a similar fashion because we've also seen it and everybody pretends it doesn't exist. And the thing about following her on Instagram and victimizing himself like the app had done something wrong to him. That was so shitty. One thing Taehyung does have in his favor is that at least he never really denied it either.

In conclusion, I'm just a girl and human and sometimes my curiosity gets the best of me and there's a lot of lingering frustration about not knowing everything. At the same time, logically and empathetically, I understand that people are under no obligation to disclose personal information.

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

I find myself questioning why I'm still bothered and how I let it get to me the lack of nuance in fandom discourse. Especially with K-Pop and everything I've witnessed in the last 3 years. The bigger the fandom, the less chances for it to be cohesive and attract a specific demographic able to participate in a certain high level of discourse.

I remember a few years back I was lurking in the Black Sails community here on tumblr. I was usually someone who would read the weekly reviews to tv episodes and that would be enough. In the case of that series, it didn't feel enough because to me, the reviewers were missing or ignoring the complexity of that show. And to my surprise (although it shouldn't), the fandom on tumblr was one of the best I had the chance to observe. There was dedication, yes, but more than that, smart people were writing these amazing essays and analysis worth of getting published in established journals. Well beyond a simple review. They were media literate, which is something that gets lost more and more as time passes.

Of course I don't expect that same thing in a fandom like Army. They can barely be compared. Army is way, way larger. It covers a wide demographic which is good and bad simultaneously. Theoretically, there's a place for everyone, regardless of their identity/background. So in cases like that, people tend to choose their own corner, subsection depending on where they fit and their interest. Perhaps a teenager is more likely to spend time on tiktok making edits and looking at clips, without following each and every type of content out there. Because they don't have to. Fans using weverse are also their own category that exhibit a specific type of mentality. Twitter and tumblr are places that offer the platform for a more discussion-type of engagement, with twitter taking the first place.

So, we find our community and that's supposed to allow fans to live in harmony. I know, funny. It's never like that because we like to peak and invite ourselves in other spaces. And the places can easily become echo chambers. But what is interesting to note is observing what the fandom deems as an echo chamber. A solo stan account or a shipper is an echo chamber, but an account focused on the group as a whole and only their achievements and updates is not. It doesn't matter that the user feigns ignorance when confronted with weird hashtags trending because they had no idea. They curate their experience. It's perfectly valid, but the danger of creating/becoming part of echo chambers happens to all of us, regardless of our type of engagement. The longer we sit comfortably in our corner, talking to people who are of the same opinion as ours, the greater the risk.

Nevertheless, there is still this need of showing one's superiority based on the type of subsection of the fandom we are part of. Which automatically fails because it shows our ignorance and getting to what I wanted to talk about, the incapability of engaging in a nuanced discussion. Of course this is not something that we should expect from everyone. Like I said, we need to know our "audience". I won't go to the weverse/IG pages wanting to talk about Asian fetishization in kpop fandoms. It would be pointless. But we do touch on those types of topics on twitter and tumblr. Which is why I don't find it completely absurd to have expectations.

Shipping within the fandom has once again been under fire today, more than usual. And it showed, as each and every time, that there is simply no bridge, no way of finding a common language, of willingness to have that nuanced conversation without resorting to generalized statements. The result of that usually creates more harm, divides the communities even more and sweeps under the rug the normalization of a specific type of shippers who transform mentions of sexual assault into a weapon to attack and offend. As serious as this is for people who are not online 24/7 in fandoms, it has indeed become the norm for those who are part of it. So then why we ignore it? Why do we generalize it instead of addressing the exact person or community who does it regularly? Because it's the crazy part of the fandom and those who are not part of it consider themselves to be better than others. Feeling superior is the ultimate goal. In a fandom of millions, we all try to differentiate ourselves in one way or another. And that leads to our fandom identity and automatically our position towards issues within the larger community. Being for or against, wanting to engage or not, is sending a message. It's always more about us than the people or content we talk about.

I know I haven't touched on 1% of what this topic should cover, but these are just some thoughts. We can't all be the smartest and better than everyone else when we are completely fixated in some beliefs that come to exist based on how much we want to use our intelectual abilities or simply refuse to.

[natsmagi]

hii so this is not hate lol i'm just on anon cause i'm a v awkward person... i know the subject's been done to death but as a plus size lesbian lover of boobs and tsumugi aoba PERSONALLY i think it's just kinda like. the reason people dogpile you and other femstars tsumugi artists isn't cause the art is bad or anything!! and i know you're portraying a certain type of body type that does exist it's just kinda hard out here when there's maybe one? two? artists who've drawn tsumugi fat like. Once. so it really isn't your fault for putting out your content it's just frustrating for us because we already get so little rep of us that it can feel like people are just taking the parts of our (plus size women i mean) bodies they like but keeping the tiny waist. but again not hate just kind of a. statement ig? have a good day!!!

omg yea no thats definitely a good observation!! its really hard to talk about these topics from all angles, so thank you for your input!!

its become alot more complicated than it needs to be tho i feel..... bc you are right; plus size bodies dont get alot of rep. especially positive rep. ESPECIALLY in animanga. so it makes sense for people to push for more diversity! especially when we as fanartists can bend canon to however we see fit! but there lies an issue. i appreciate you for expressing your frustrations with it without shaming those who dont draw it! but this is unfortunately not the norm... most of the people who push for us to draw mugi plus sized arent exactly being the kindest in their approach to put it lightly, and they shame us for our "unrealistic" body portrayals. from my perspective the people who want me to draw this body type are the same people who hold no respect for me or my art. i never want it to come across as if though im AGAINST drawing tsumugi bigger, it genuinely makes me incredibly happy to see people add the diversity they wish to see in the media they love! i just hope you can see how the circumstances of it all leads to me feeling very conflicted....... because now, if i were to draw tsumugi bigger, itd feel disingenuous. id feel like im catering to the very people who hate me. and drawing her like that would only remind me of how rude people are when it comes to the subject, which would strip the joy i feel from drawing away from me

genuinely speaking i adore all variations of tsumugi. i think its incredibly lovely to see people want more diversity in media and add that diversity themselves! but because of the people who only want to shame people who dont draw the character how THEY want to see them portrayed, its just not something i really want to do....... honestly, im more than willing to draw OTHER characters plus sized (i need to get better at that sorta stuff anyway) but just. not tsumugi. being ridiculed for having fun drawing her this way has really put me off wanting to change it. especially considering how i draw her with a soft tummy and have had people come at me for that too, thinking thats my portrayal of bigger sized people

AGAIN LIKE ITS SO. NEEDLESSLY COMPLICATED. bc it really should just be a simple "hey i want this character to be plus sized!" or "hey! do you think you could draw this character with a bit more fat to them? it feels suitable" but that hasnt been what it is...... and thats sad!!!!! because we should want more diversity!!!! but the way these people go about it is just. wrong. so again i really do appreciate you for being kind but also honest. i wish more people took this approach, maybe itd spare us this whole mess. though thats likely wishful thinking. thank you though! and thank you for sharing your perspective!! ❤️

[name-that-isnt]

I woke up this morning and was reminded of "bi+" and DESPERATELY wanted to kill myself, not even joking. Putting a "+" after bi is the most degrading thing in the world after u notice the problem. Not blaming people who still believe it isn't an issue tho, it took me a while to notice it for myself, especially since some people want ur head on a pitchfork if u even think otherwise.

It's so fascinatingly contradictory how people use the term "bi umbrella" but then say "oh yeah THESE labels are actually bigger than bi because bi just means attraction to 2 genders". This can't be real, there's no way ur parroting classic biphobia. And no, adding the "or more" to the end of the statement doesn't help, it's just a crappy way u can avoid admitting that the new definition ur forcing onto bisexuality is problematic. Bi being the umbrella means it's the BIGGEST and everything underneath it is smaller, it is attraction REGARDLESS of gender. Why are u so afraid to think for a second? I PROMISE u that the world won't end if u use ur brain. I am okay with bi microlabels existing because there are many that make sense and actually fall within the umbrella without giving the tried and true definition of bisexuality to labels that are used out of poor understanding of the label! "What about bi/pan solidarity" I don't want fake solidarity with a label that degrades what I am just for the comfort of a few people who refuse to change and accept bisexuality for what it really is instead of what they think it is, sorry.

I promise u guys it's not exclusionism to simply say that people shouldn't be using a label that actively degrades another one that means and has always meant the exact same thing. No one is denying the queerness of people who identify as "pan" or "omni" or anything like that, they're queer as shit because they're bi. If anything it feels more terfy to insist that bi is a lesser label because a common terf pastime is of course bullying trans people, and what better way to convince others to get on board by perpetuating the use of a label that frames being bi as restricting, that pushes the idea that bi people aren't attracted to anyone except for cis men and women and therefore they don't support trans people. It's part of their little tactic to cut the t from lgbt when b and t have long been closely intertwined. There is already enough biphobia (and interlocked transphobia) coming from both queer and nonqueer monosexuals, so for the love of god can the bisexuals themselves at least be educated? I say I'm bi4bi but even then it's a challenge to approach bi people who are in the "bi+" mindset and don't want to hear anything else. Needless to say, I am in excruciating pain 👍🏾

[quetzalpapalotl]

maybe a weird ask but do you happen to have a reading list for arcee in idw1? my friend loves arcee but i dont want to make her go through all of idw1 to see her akshdjbdjx

Hi! Sorry for the delay! Not weird at all! I love these kind of questions. And I was thinking of making one anyway bc Squiggle suggested it, so this is the push I needed to get to that. And this is my girl we're talking about, I need to get everyone to read about her.

A few things of note, I write this guide assuming the reader has not read any IDW1. I will focus only on things that feature Arcee, so by following this you will be lacking a lot of context for the continuity, I will try to provide context for the bigger picture, but if there's something that doesn't make much sense just push through it (or ask!)

Unlike the IDW Optimus reading guide, I'm actually going to list every issue with Arcee in it (hopefully I don't forget any), because even doing so, you still end up with less reading material. Tho, you don't have to read every single one.

However, I will be asking you to read all of Ex-Robots in Disguise and its sequel Optimus Prime. While Arcee was a very minor character previous to this, she is a main character in those series, in fact she's the one who most consistently shows up from beggining to end. As such, I cannot tell you to just read the issues Arcee is in, it would be like skipping episodes of a tv series, you need the whole context. Besides, these comics are very thematic and mostly everything that's brought up is meant to feed the larger picture. And Arcee ends up being the thesis statement character of the whole thing. Being the best character in all of IDW1 (I'm serious), I think she's worth reading it all.

Spotlight: Arcee by Simon Furman

Well... okay, you may have heard that this issue which introduces Arcee's character is very transmisogynistic, that would be correct. I'm not comfortable telling anyone to read with without at least a warning. In the story Arcee's unique gender is said to be the result of mad scientist Jhiaxus experimenting on her, which makes everyone instinctually refer to her as "she" and made her an unstable, crazy murdered. Unfortunatelly, this will be the basis for Arcee's character. Later Barber will tackle the issues with this story and recontextualize it with the help of Jenevieve Frank, a trans woman. The retconned story will be that gender previously existed on Cybertron but was forgotten (tho, it's still present in the colonies) and Arcee is a trans woman who voluntary had Jhiaxus perform gender reassignment on her, but she ended up being the victim of malpractice. Barber will also expand on Arcee's character, her backstory, wants and motivations, so she's not just reduced to a bad surgery. However, Spotlight: Arcee can still be an uncomfortabel read. So if you don't wanna read it just read the wiki summary for it.

Spotlight: Cyclonus Spotlight: Hardhead Spotlight: Doubledealer Spotlight: Sideswipe (or all published together as Revelation) by Simon Furman

These 4 spotlights work as a miniseries, but Arcee only shows up in one page in Cyclonus and one page in Hardhead, which show her tracking down Jhiaxus, and in like 4 pages in Sideswipe, where she finally gets her hands on the guy. You may just want to skim to those pages. Althought it may be worth readin the whole thing just because the Dark Universe stuff will keep showing up. If you don't want to read it the whole thing (fair), this story is about uncovering what's up with Nova Prime and his crew (Jhiaxus, Cyclonus, Galvatron, etc), who dissappeared 6.2 million years ago when they left on an expansionist mission. Turns out they ended in a dimension called The Dark Universe which made them more or less zombies and unable to survive in this dimension for long periods if they don't return to the Dark Universe and empowered Nova-now-Nemesis with "The Heart of Darkness". They want to bring the "Darkness" to this Universe and rule it with Cybertron at the center. The Autobots fight to stop them and succed. Arcee gets to kill Jhiaxus over and over again thanks to the immortality he gets from being in the space between dimensions. Hardhead is there.

Heart of Darkness #1 and 2 by Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning

In this 4 issue mini-series, Galvatron turns out to have survived previous events thanks to the Heart of Darkness, finds out that D-Void, the embodiment of the Dark Universe, is planning to kill everything in this universe and uses the powers of the Heart of Darkness to raise an army from corpses to stop it. I don't reccomend it and the art can get uncanny, but Arcee shows up in the first two issues.

The Transformers (2009 ongoing) #28 and 30 by Mike Costa (and James Roberts)

This is the Chaos event that follows up on Heart of Darkness. It runs though issues #24 26, 28, 30, but Arcee only shows up in the last two and it'll probably be very confusing since we skipped the entire Costa ongoing. The rundown is that Galvatron attacks Cybertron in order to get to the Vector Sigma at the core and fuse it with the Heart of Darkness to stop D-Void. To no-one's surprise, The Heart of Darkness is part of D-Void and Galvatron was being manipulated by it so that it can come into thi universe and kill everything. It creates an amalgamation of the Decepticons and Galvatron's sweeps to fight, but Megatron keept that occupied while Optimus and co. get to the core of the planet. In the end, Optimus uses the Matrix to purify Vector Sigma, which breaks the Matrix in half.

The Death of Optimus Prime by James Robers and John Barber

Optimus wakes up to a rejuvenated Cybetron after the events of Chaos. Arcee doesn't show up in this, but it will establish certain things important to understand what's next, so I recommend reading it. Also, IMO the quality goes way up from everything listed before.

Robots in Disguise #1-9 (volumes 1 and 2) by John Barber

Finally we get to the good stuff (unless you skipped everything until now). With the war over and Optimus and Rodimus gone, Bee tries create a functioning society among the tensions between the Autobots, Decepticons and newly-arrived neutrals. It's not going great. After the therapeutic experience that was getting to kill Jhiaxus over and over again, Arcee comes to work for Prowl in the shadows. Her character finally displays some interiority. She also sort of gets retconned to never having been an official Autobot.

Robots in Disguise annual by John Barber

Arcee doesn't show up in this, but the coming events will probably be confusing if you don't read this. We also get flashbacks to the Cybetronian past which will come in handy later.

Robots in Disguise #10-22 (volumes 3, 4 and 5) by John Barber

Megatron, who hasn't been seen since his fight with the amalgamation in Costa's ongoing, returns, which isn't good news for the fragile peace. Things get set up for the Dark Cybertron event. Arcee gets lot of cool moments here and her motivations become more clear. I want to highligh issue #18 as it featured her in the narration and we get to learn a lot about her point of view.

Dark Cybertron (volumes 1 and 2) by John Barber and James Roberts

A crossover betwen RID and MTMTE. It comprises a first issue released on its own, 10 issues that alternate betwen being published as MTMTE and EXRID and a final issue also published on its own. Rather than switching between ongoing, it's easier to read it all in the 2 compiled volumes. Shockwave sets up a very comvoluted plan for nefarious purposes. If you haven't read Mtmte you may wonder who half these people are, but having read RID (and even more if you read the Revelation spotlights listed at the beginning) you'll be far less confused than someone who has only read Mtmte trying to read this. Arcee gets some baddass moments.

Robots in Disguise #28-34 (volume 6) by John Barber

The Earthfall arc where, after the events of Dark Cybertron, Optimus gets a team to return to Earth following a message from Alpha Trion. Arcee asks Optimus to let her tag along. Tensions rise between Optimus and Prowl and Earth may not be so happy to see them.

The Transformers #35-#38 (volume 7) by Jonh Barber

Due to the coming release of the Robots in Disguide 2015 cartoon, Barber's ongoing had its subtitle dropped, becoming just The Transformers, hence why the fandom calls the entire ongoing ex-RID. It inherited the numberation of RID despite the new name, but you may not find its issues listed under the previous name in some sites, look for The Transformers (2014) in that case. We check back on Cybertron, learn more about Cybertron's past and then get to the Onyx Interface arc. Optimus returns to Cybertron and leaves Prowl in charge, but not without asking Arcee to keep an eye on him. Prowl doesn't seem to be all that reasonable and Arcee has her own ideas.

Combiner Wars by John Barber and Mairghread Scott

A crossover similar to Dark Cybertron but with the Windblade series instead of Mtmte and it takes one volume. Arcee doesn't show up, but I wouldn't recommend skipping it as some important stuff happens which I think is better to read for oneself than rely on other's people's opinion. But either way, have a summary: Metroplex's spacebridge is now operational, which means they can open a portal to Caminus, Windblade's reason for coming to Cybertron since her planet is in dire need of resources. Starscream is eager to help them out as it will mean the planet will be in debt to him and is more people to have influence over. Windblade and Optimus are worried about Starscream getting and empire, but since they don't want to stage a coup, they decide to use Optimus status as Prime (figures religiously venerated in Caminus) to combat Starscream's plot (I'm sure this won't get to OP's head later). Prowl thinks they're cowards, he thinks Starscream spreading his hands on Caminus will lead to him doing the same with the other colony words, establishing a new Cybertronian Empire and then expanding it to the rest of the galaxy. Prowl thinks Starscream should be stopped at all costs even if it means destroying the spacebridge and leaving all Camiens to starve to death. A bunch of stuff happens, including: Starscream sending Swindle and Menasor to attack Caminus so he can save it and get more clout. Prowl using Devastator to destroy the spacebridge and being stopped by Superion and Defensor, losing an eye in the process and getting arrested. Starscream using the enigma to replace Prowl in Devastator with Scoop. Rattrap setting Menasor on Caminus again and freeing Prowl. Four combiners fighting on Caminus' ground to which Prowl adds another one by using the enigma to combine himself with Optimus and others in other to have him see his way. And ultimately Prowl is arrested again (and it doesn't stick, again).

The Transformers #42-#44 (volume 8 minus the last issue) by John Barber

Optimus and Prowl have a chat, it doesn't go well. But while they are busy on Cybertron, Arcee is now the de-facto leader of the Autobots on Earth and deals with Galvatron, but just like her predecessors, she makes a quick trip back to Cybertron. Issue #44 is once again narrated by her and lets us see her perspective on Cybertron's current situation.

Combiner Hunters by Mairghread Scott

And one-shot where Arcee tries to steal the enigma of combination, putting her at odds with Windblade and Chromia. We get to see some nice interactions between them and some very nice art of Arcee in her dark deco.

Sins of the Wreckers by Nick Roche

A mini series that's a sequel of sorts to Last Stand of the Wreckers from phase one. It will make much more sense if you have read that one and LSotW it's considered one of best things to come out of phase 1, is not the best, but if you don't want to bother I think you can get the gist of what's going on. Prowl has been kidnapped and unfortunately, he's too important to not try to rescue him. Arcee is dealing with her dissapointment in him and the fact that he never actually trusted her, so she's not too happy about it, but goes along anyway. Truth be told, you won't get lost in the plot if you skip this one and Arcee shares the screentime with a lot of characters, but it's pretty good and you get another writer's take on Arcee.

For context: On the Windblade series, Starscream and Winblade have been contacting the remaining colonies and trying to get them to join the Council of Worlds, which is like the United Nations for the Cybertronian Colonies.

The Transformers #45-#55 (last issue of volume 8, volumes 9 and 10) by John Barber

Things aren't looking so good for the Autobots on Earth, Galvatron makes his move leading to the Conqueros arc. Following Optimus on Cybertron, we get to meet best girl Aileron! Whom you may recognize as Arcee's eventual love interest. Optimus wonders what he should do about the problems on Earth and arrives to a very unpopular decision leading to the All Hail Optimus arc.

Titans Return

A mini crossover, it opens with a one-shot, followed by exRID #56-57, and then MTMTE #56-57, but you can skip the MTMTE issues. Garrison Blackrock's original Cybertronian personality, Sovereign, a servant of Onyx Prime, awakens and causes trouble. Somehow, Sentinel Prime has returned.

Revolution by John Barber and Cullen Bunn (+others)

This is where the infamous Hasbroverse crossovers start. I wouldn't blame you for wanting to skip it, but Arcee is there (tho nothing is about her in particular) and it will be referenced later. Baron Karza, a guy from a place created thanks to Micronus Prime called Microspace wants Earth's ore-13 to save his dimension from entropy, but the dimensional transporting of the ore makes it unstable and explode, this means bad news it it keeps happening. The explosion blamed on the Cybertronians who are still not very well-received on Earth. G.I. Joe is sent to deal with the Cybertronians, but while Optimus wants to make peace with them, things are further complicated when Rom the space knight shoots some G.I. Joe members. As it turns out Rom's enemies, the shapeshifting Dire-Wraiths have infiltrated the Joe ranks because they too want the ore-13 because it enhances their magic. A guy that's secretly allied with Karza leads a project to develop tech against Cybertronians which result in the M.A.S.K organization Rom wants all the ore out of this dimension, Optimus is more concerned with protecting Earth than the microspace, G.I. Joe and M.A.S.K. still hate Cybertronians and then the Micronauts show up following Karza. Eventually they all sort things out between themselves and solve the crisis and the ore is stabilized. Optimus learns that Earth is not so defenseless after all

Optimus Prime #1-6 (volume 1) by John Barber

Because of editorial reasons, exRID get's a relaunch under the name Optimus Prime and the numeration resets, but it's following the same story, so don't worry about it. Starting with the new Cybertron arc, Optimus is dead set on Earth joining the Council of Worlds and will play a risky game for it to happen. Arcee is practically his right hand woman at this point, but that doesn't mean she's happy with how he goes about things. On top of it, Sideswipe has been in critical state since Conquerors and Arcee is not doing great.

Wrath of Karza by Cullen Bunn and Jimmy Johnston

Another crossover that closes the Microspace plot. Honestly, you don't need to read this, I don't even personaly recommend it. But if you have read everything else up to this point, might as well read this so you can say you've read every comic with Arcee in it.

Optimus Prime #7-10 (volume 2) by Jonh Barber

We follow how things are going after the events of New Cybertron. Arcee finally gets some sympathy from another person. Issue #9 focuses on Sideswipe but is also a very important moment for Arcee's arc and in issue #10 we learn about Arcee's past.

Transformers Annual 2017 by Jonh Barber

The conversation between Optimus and Pyra Magna after issue #8, comes included in Optimus Prime vol 2. No Arcee here, we just learn about how Optimus met Bee and Pyra's omnious encounter with Onyx Prime. This will be referenced later, but you can skip it if you're tired.

For context: In the Revolutionary series, assorted characters from different IPs follow the track of a mysterious thing called The Talisman that seems to be linked to Onyx Prime. This includes Blackrock, who wants to learn more about his past, Kup and his new bestie Action Man, Anaya Jones, now working for G.I. Joe under the name Mayday. This leads them to a G.I. Joe villian called Kreiger who has a Transformer working under him.

Said Transformer is named Centurion, who used to think he was Bumblebee because Shcokwave brainswashed him and his crew in order to study a simulation of the Cybertronian war. At the end of it all the Talisman fuses Centurion's consciousness with that of a guy names Mike Powell, aka Atomic Man. Also Transformers are allergic to the Talisman.

First Strike by Mairghread Scott and David A. Rodriguez

Another crossover. This one is better handled than Revolution IMO by mainline focusing on two main IPs and leaving everyone else for the side stories, so you get a more centered narrative. Personally I think there's some really good stuff in here, but also some really stupid stuff. Either way it'll be important, but Arcee only has a role in the last two issues, so here's the rundown: Earth has agreed to join the Council of Worlds, but during the celebration, Joe Colton, ex-G.I. Joe, and Kreiger attack Cybertron with the objective of getting the Talisman to the core of the planet and get rid of Cybertronians while they're distracted. Colton is motivated by a mistrust of Cybetronians, thinking he has to get rid of them before they take over Earth. Scarlett, the current G.I. Joe leader and Colton's daughter-figure, gathers her team and gets to Cybertron in order to stop Colton. But when she gets to Cybertron, the Council of Worlds is feeling very wary of humans and arrests them all. Scarlett convinces Optimus they need her help to stop Colton, so OP breaks out G.I. Joe. Everyone rushes to stop Colton and Kreiger before they get to the core. Kreiger reveals himself to actually be a Visionaries villian and activates the Talisman to summon the city of New Prysmos, because his plan was always to take the planet and make it a new world for his people. Colton is arrested, but the Talisman has poisoned Cybertron's energon reserves. It also has the efefct of waking up Unicron, oops.

Optimus Prime: First Strike (Unification Day: Dawn) Transformers: First Strike (Unification Day: Dusk) by John Barber

First Strike side-stories, collected in Optimus Prime vol 2. Show what Arcee was doing before showing up in First Strike #5. She joing the Revolutionaries characters in rescuing Blackrock. Way less plot relevant than First Strike, but it has some very fun character interactions, so I do recommend it.

Optimus Prime #11-14 (volume 3) by John Barber

Two mini arcs: Primeless and The Dead Come Home. In the first one, Aileron tries to keep things in order on Earth while Arcee and Optimus are busy on Cybertron, my girl is trying her best. In the second one, Optimus learns about the newsparks growing in Trypticon that the Dinobots are protecting (how this came to be happens in the Redemption of the Dinobots trilogy) so he and Arcee deal with that. Good stuff all around IMO.

For context: On the Till All Are One series, Windblade and Bumblebee get through to Starscream, who confesses all of his crimes and is then arrested. Windblade is elected president of Cybertron.

Also, Kreiger's actions caused a bunch of people from his decaying world, the Visionaries, to come end up on Cybertron. They're divided in two camps, one who wants to take over the planet from themselves and one who doesn't want to do that because that's immoral. They fight it out. The Visionaries and Cybertronians come to an understanding. The important thing is that there are now wizard dudes living in their own city on Cybertron and we are reminded Transformers are allergic to magic.

Optimus Prime #15-21 (volume 4) by John Barber

The Falling arc. Things finally seem promising until Onyx Prime shows up and ruins everything. This is one of my favorite parts (yes, including the plot twist). Lots of characters get great moments including, of course, Arcee. On top of getting to show off, this is when she and Aileron share the first explicit romantic kiss between two Transformers.

Unicron #0 Optimus Prime #22 Unicron #1-4 Optimus Prime #23-24 Unicron #5-#6 Optimus Prime #25 by John Barber

Unicron is here, Transformers have to face the weight of their history. A history Arcee is all to familiar with. And with this we read the end. Please read it in the order stated above. Optimus Prime #25 serves as an epilogue. Arcee confirms what has been suggested this whole time, that she is without a doubt a trans woman. She gets to close the book on the continuity showing how far she has come. It's a very rewarding ending after everything, I think.

Bonus:

An Arcee Sort of Day by Peri Mercer

An one-shot included in Synergy: A Hasbro Creators Showcase released to celebrate women's day. It's set on its own vague continuity, but Arcee's characterization is based on IDW's, so you may enjoy it!