#i want to live the dream of having a weekend escapade with one of my best friends to see d&p

[astradyke]

im really just hoping that everyone is so busy trying to get VIPs that i can at least get like Two Normal Seats . i'm also hoping that this other show doesn't sell out because if everything backfires me and my friend are selling these tix and i'm going alone to the original show i was planning on. either way no way in hell i'm giving up the opportunity to see dan and phil but like... scary scary scary

[bitchlessdino]

If y'all were curious and / to the people that are tagged lol

I posted 1,774 times in 2022

That's 1,744 more posts than 2021!

746 posts created (42%)

1,028 posts reblogged (58%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@/woozi

@/97-liners

@/bitchlessdino

@/huiranghaes

@/dokyeomblr

I tagged 1,636 of my posts in 2022

Only 8% of my posts had no tags

#nan talks - 434 posts

#asks - 345 posts

#anon asks - 204 posts

#anon - 121 posts

#seventeen smut - 88 posts

#seventeen - 76 posts

#seventeen fanfic - 60 posts

#seventeen imagines - 60 posts

#seventeen scenarios - 48 posts

#ship game - 43 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#i hate knowing bc of how the world is now there a very low chance i’ll never see this person in real life or in concert to truly appreciate

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

and they were roommates pt.2

find the first part here, part three here

A svt.hub collab

Pairing: camboy!chan x afab roommate!reader

Genre: smut

Word count: 2.2k

tags: pet name (kitten), oral, 34 +35, dirty talk, mentions of sex tape

Summary: Wanting sex is a natural feeling, it just so happens that gratification could be found in the next room with a shitty webcam and an infectious laugh.

author note: thank you @chogiwapadada for helping me proofread this thing and thank you guys for the endless support. the fact that this was on the top page for the seventeen tag is insane and y'all made such a big deal of this and therefore i thank you guys so much. but josh if you see this, no you don't go away, please. i am always constantly overwhelmed by the support and hopefully you guys enjoy this one too!

tag list: @sapphichui @librarian-stacks @dontflailmenow @gyuldaengie @minniemole @greysdarling @romromthedeer @yoondae @dinosbestie @boo-tycall

You may be wondering, what happened that night when Chan fapped to the thought of you in front of a live audience, not forgetting to invite you when he’s made a mess of himself. Did you really take up his offer, stormed out of your room, and had the most mind-blowing sex with your roommate you ever had?

Of course, you fucking didn’t, are you kidding?

What you actually did was finish off independently in your own rooms and did not speak another word to each other for the rest of the night.

You were awkward roommates at the end of the day and who knows what kind of shit would happen if you decided to pursue these escapades any further. No matter how hot and incredible Chan/Dino looked naked, there was no way you’d potentially ruin your convenient living agreements with your roommate who obviously makes enough money for the both of you (a lot of thanks to you I guess). So, what was the tactical decision after learning your roommate is a popular and successful sex worker?

Act as if nothing happened. What live show? What’s Dino? What even is Svthub? You don’t masturbate, that’s icky.

Yeah, you’re having a hard time believing that too. But what else were you supposed to do?

You could hardly look Chan in the eye the next day. Fortunately, he paid you almost no mind being that it was his weekend too. However, last night’s show was not as easily forgettable for you as it was for him. You could still picture the momentum and force that took hold of his body that managed to power his personal gratification, killing every functional cell of your entire being. His smile was already so pretty on a normal basis but how it twists desperately when he gets closer and closer, and his whines get louder and bolder, you could just cum then and there.

It fucking drove you insane he was just sitting there on the couch, laughing at cartoons as if nothing happened. It, in fact, confused you, even more, making you consider whether last night was even a dream because of how contradicting Chan and Dino really were, but it’s him. That laugh is his, that smile is his, that body is his, and that semi-hard cock poking at his gray sweatpants was definitely his. How were you so stupid that you didn’t notice sooner?

You press your lips in a firm line when you notice him turn his head at you, urging you to swallow the built up drool in your mouth.

“You wanna go grocery shopping today,” he asks, “I think I remember there was a sale for something I’ve been needing for a while.”

Like he needs to participate in any sales from the income he grew overnight.

“We went shopping last week,” you pointed out.

He nods agreeingly, “yeah, but I think we can afford it. I kinda got a huge bonus.”

Yeah, because Chan’s horny roommate couldn’t control themselves.

“Sure. Just let me get my bag.”

He claps his hands in rejoice and waits for you on the couch. When you’re both ready, Chan grabs the house keys and you’re the first one to head to the front door. Turning the knob, you swing the door open and at your feet was a package labeled to your roommate. You curiously pick it up from the ground, “Hey, Chan—”

“Uh, that’s mine,” he snatches it, nervously chuckling, sticking it in a vacant spot on your shared bookshelf.

You narrow your eyes at him as he pushes you out of the apartment and locks the door behind you both. “What was that?”

He shakes his head dismissively, flicking his hand in feigning lack of care. “Just treated myself. Got here earlier than I expected.”

Next day shipping, hmm?

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750 notes - Posted June 26, 2022

#4

Bad Habits (M)

Pairing: fwb!seungcheol x fem!reader

Genre: smut

Word count: 3.2k

tags: dom!seungcheol, sub!reader, daddy kink, spanking, overstimulation, degradation, dirty talking, pussy slapping, pink!cheol, fingering, reader being in denial, light tit play, light edging

Summary: To take your love life seriously, you need to cut ties with the one person holding you back. Too bad he comes back to you like a bad habit.

author note: I feel like it's been a really long time since I posted smth longer than 1k bc I have been fucking drained and I am so tired of being an adult like I don't wanna be here. I am so happy I got this done but I feel like it is so much tamer than I wanted it to be like I kinda have been having a soft cheolrot and all i wanna do is cuddle his ass. Btw I'm gonna try working on more stuff next week, maybe post multiple short pieces here and there next week bc i will be on vaycay with no internet access from April 9th to 17th, so yall will see me inactive.

His face, his body, his words; everything about him was fucking mind-blowing, and how he blew out your back was indescribable. Seungcheol was the top picking of casual sex.

It was mutual that things stay sexual and only sexual, but how this one guy had you wrapped on his finger was something that you had to go to your therapist for. You worked your schedule around this man. Every time he’d text you, you���d drop everything and make sure that he had your full undivided attention. Often he showed how grateful he was while simultaneously showcasing how strong those thighs underneath you while you grinded on top of him or how fast and powerful hips were slamming full force into your cervix. His big hands always gripped the flesh of your ass as he fucked you from behind. Much often, your face would be buried in his pillows while you muffled your loud moans. 

“You fucking like that, baby?” He muttered under his shallow breaths.

You turned to your cheek, trying to look back at him. “Y-yes, fuck, just that. Your cock is good fucking my pussy.”

“You take it to f-fucking good,” he praised, both palms clashing against your ass cheeks like a pair of cymbals.

You arched your back at the strike of pain, your teeth digging into your bottom lip while you let out a hoarse moan. “Mmm, daddy.”

Seungcheol was like a well-oiled machine. He ran beautifully, pressing into your core in a steady rhythm, audibly degrading you to filth, filling you with a sense of accomplishment. “You’re such a good slut for me. Is my little cumslut enjoying how I fuck your filthy hole?”

“Mmmh, yes. I love how you fuck me, daddy. You always know how to make me feel so good.” His hands smoothed against your side, not losing his pace, fucking you until the sunrise, only to have you do it all over again the next day. 

He was insatiable and you found it addicting. Eventually, all things had an end and that end for you was when one of you had decided to take control of your life again. It had been a long time since you were in a committed relationship and to you that meant differently now that you were older. At this point in your life, you needed some romantic consistency and you weren't going to get it stuck in your college ways.

“I don’t want to just sleep around anymore.”

“I told you, y/n, I’m not looking for anything serious.” Seungcheol reminded you.

He shielded his body with his once abandoned white tee, getting ready to go about his following day. Being in your home, you laid comfortably nude in your own bed.

“I know. That’s why I’m ending things between us, Cheol. I want to get into dating again. I want us to stop sleeping together.”

With his back towards you, he halted midway pulling up his pants, almost contemplating, before pulling them back up all the way. “Did you meet someone?”

“No,” you admitted, “I just want those other things to come after sex.”

You watched him nod, before turning back to you. “Okay…So this is the last time then.”

You nodded.

“I wish you would’ve told me that. I could’ve made it a bit more…celebratory.” He joked lightly, a dark undertone in his voice.

You looked at him intrigued. Your upper body slipped from the covers, hanging the delicious fruit that would at times be suckled on or bruised with hickies by his cherry red lips. Seungcheol’s throat went dry by the simple gestures, mesmerized by the beauty every time you displayed it, wondering if there will be anyone else like it once you leave. He finally met your eyes, tempted by your siren gaze. “We still can, if you want that is. The day is still young.”

Seungcheol gathered his thoughts. A speedy gulp of saliva ran down the narrow pipe of his throat as he fixated on how you shifted in bed. Revealing more and more skin, you leave nothing to the imagination. This was a momentary crucial decision, he could decide to leave and help himself to what else the world had to offer starting now, or—“Fuck it. Get on your knees for me.”

Seungcheol took his time that night, making sure you felt every inch that craved your attention, just as you took your time finding a permanent romantic partner. You’ve had your fair share of dates back in your college days but this was a long time coming and you were no spring chicken anymore. It’ll be the first time in a while that you've put yourself out there. How you came upon Seungcheol was pure coincidence and convenience, not expecting it to have lasted as long as it did. Now you’re finding yourself finding something to occupy that time in your life, a time where you put your energy into someone else.

You start to remember how tiresome it is getting to know someone and making an effort to be presentable. By now, you’d have several dates, all varying types of people, and all varying different types of disappointment. None of them made themselves second-date worthy and all lacked an attractive quality. Maybe you were being picky, but none of them drew you like you wish they had. Some were nice, sweet even, while some were simply a waste of time, but there were none you willingly thought twice about.

You waited even now for possibly another awful date. You both agreed upon a bar, thinking of a night letting loose with drinks would be a good start to whatever this is. Whoever this person was, their impression was already off given that you’ve waited a good half hour for them to arrive. Additionally, they began to be unresponsive, leading to the point that tonight was likely another failure of date.

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817 notes - Posted April 1, 2022

#3

Healthy Bodies (M)

Pairing: fem!reader X chilhoodfriend!soonyoung

Genre: smut, slice of life

Word count: 6.2k

tags: plot before smut, mentions of body image issues, supportive besties, mutual pining, estranged friends to lovers, soft dom! Soonyoung, sub!reader, unprotected sex, oral (giving and receiving), rough to soft, passionate sex

Summary: There's no one that could relate to your struggle of being a former fat kid like your one and only old friend. So, what’s to happen when you reunite with him before a 10 year high school reunion.

author note: I have no answer to why the hell this is so damn long or why the hell it took as long as it did to get finished, but this image has been in my head for FOOKEN MONTHS I TELL YOU. I’d like to say it was worth it finally having out now. An in perfect time bc this pic from the photoshoot is so gorg and FITTING. While I do love the photoshoots and promotions we’re given PLEDIS/HYBE need to fucking chill out on all their employees getting fucking sick. If one member is sick, quarantine all of them. Having one sick means they’re all at risk of covid, this is why they are all getting sick one by one. TLDR; CHILL THE FUCK OUT ENTERTAINMENT COMPANIES. I might re-edit this btw idk

Only you and Soonyoung knew how bad it was in high school as overweight teenagers, only having each other to rely on as you bonded over your struggles and exchanging traumatic stories over street food. So when you heard about your 10-year high school reunion, you were so eager to see your chubby buddy again that you planned a small reunion of you a few days before the big gathering. It would be the first time in years since you’ve both graduated, saying you’d keep in touch when you both pretty much forgot each other all this time, caught up in your education. Luckily returning your thoughts, Soonyoung agreed to meet up with you, reciprocating the same excitement.

A lot of things have changed since your pubescent years and you’ve managed to make a name for yourself in, surprisingly, the fitness industry. Your name is plastered all over street benches, office buildings, and even college campuses. You were essentially the picture-perfect image for all things fitness. Seriously, you were on the cover of All Things Fitness magazine for July. To say you were excited to show off your success to the one person who’d understand what you’re feeling would be an understatement. You were dying to see the reaction of your estranged best friend for the first time.

“Y/n?”

When you looked up to the sound of your name, the sharp, familiar eyes attached to the not all familiar toned and lean figure approached your table with a bright expression on their face. You blinked up at the stranger, taken back by his stunning figure. You recognized him from the many fashion catalogs you’ve graced your eyes on at the salon when you get your bi-monthly treatment. You knew him by name, by eye gaze, and by every detail of his ripped-up body he had a habit of showcasing on every pictorial he was on, but how the hell did he know you.

You pointed at you dubiously, “Do you know me?”

“Y/n. It’s me. Soonyoung.”

You got up from your seat, your eyes growing wide enough to make you think like you were missing all the skin around your eyes. “Kwon Soonyoung?”

“Nice seeing you too, Mochi.” He quickened his pace and wrapped his arms around your waist, hoisting you up in the air.

You returned his embrace, involuntarily groping his broad shoulders and firm back through the thin fabric of his t-shirt, all at once hearing the beat of your heart pound tenfold. His hand met the small of your back, lightly rubbing against it, breathing in your expensive perfume that you said yourself ‘reeked of success.’ “God, you even smell great.”

Soonyoung released you from his hug, holding on to you by your shoulders. He gazed back at you like you were the most precious thing he’d lay his eyes on, while you stared at him like a stranger. Kwon Soonyoung and Kwon Hoshi were the same person and you had no idea.

“Ho-Soonyoung! You look incredible.”

He offered you a side-grin. “Speak for yourself. You’re gorgeous.”

He planted a kiss on the side of your cheek. Eighteen-year-old Soonyoung definitely would not have done that.

Falling out of your spell, you shook your head, gesturing to the empty chair. “Uh, sit. Sit.”

Soonyoung got comfortable opposite you, not once his eyes tearing apart from your appearance. You mentally traced over his sharp jaw and down his toned frame, looking just as majestic as they felt. There was not a trace of the braces he had during graduation, besides his perfectly straight teeth, and his hair was parted in a style that accentuated every pretty feature he had. He really grew up to be so gorgeous.

“How is that you look so…”

“Different?” He finished, “You’re looking at the other side of the same coin, Mochi. You look different too.”

“Yeah, but, Soonyoung. Not like you.”

He chuckled, taking a sip of his iced water. “Thank you. If you weren’t my best friend, I would have a really hard time looking you in the eyes right now.”

“This is freaking me out a little bit right now because you, Soonyoung, are Hoshi.”

He grew shy, a pinkish glow tinting his cheeks. “Yeah, I’ve been doing well for myself, so today’s my treat.”

“Oh, you know I’d never deny a free dinner, but you’re not the only one doing well for themselves.” 

A sexy chuckle escaped him. “Alright then. You buy dinner, I buy the drinks, and we both get to talk about what’s going on in our lives, hmm?”

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844 notes - Posted March 9, 2022

#2

for you, always

Pairing: wonwoo X fem!reader

Genre: smut

Word count: 1.4k

Tags: smut with some plot, ex!seventeen member, pining, exhibitionism, cunnilingus, implicit consent, unprotected sex, phone calls

Summary: Heartbreak recovery requires patience, incentive, and Jeon Wonwoo.

author note: hello welcome back to horny hell. we have lemonade and abandon kittens to adopt, kittens being pussies, and pussies being my {redacted}. I have no real serious notes beside the fact that I feel like grown so many good relations being on here and I hope we continue to connect and reconnect for a long time.

It was initially a means of getting over your ex. He would call all the time, get back together with you, only to break up all over again. At some point, it had to stop. 

Wonwoo was sick of every little pity party you’d throw at his place and he was running low on his stock of monthly supply of snacks in a mere week. Of course, there was the matter of your emotions, which were unstable and unpredictable, the worst kind to manage. You would throw tantrums, cry excessively, and experience the ups and downs comparable to an amusement park ride.

That was when he proposed an idea. He’d check on you, and hold you accountable for every time you get too close to your ex. Originally, a flick on the forehead seemed enough, you then began to get insufferable, fighting back. Other times you’d scratch at him like a cat, trying to retrieve your phone that he’s stolen from your grasp. It was until finally, he found a strong enough method to hold you back.

Pinning your hands on either wall, unable to even twist your wrist to face your phone screen. His hands were stronger than you had anticipated, hardly moving an inch, while struggled, and then you stopped completely. Wonwoo’s eyes pierced into yours like a knife, salvia shooting down his throat, but having complete control over the situation.

“Wonwoo—”

“Can’t you just ignore him when you’re with me? What good is it keeping him around?”

“I’m not—”

“You haven’t looked up from your phone all afternoon, stay with me here!” He points out, shouting.

Your lips quiver. Unable to tear your eyes away from him. “I-it’s, it’s not easy!”

“Can’t you see I’m doing the best I can to help you forget about him?”

You feel tears brim your eyes, helpless and irrational, pounding the back of your fists at the plaster of the wall you’re still restricted to. “Can’t you see I’m trying? I can’t help but…miss him. Just…let me take the call, hmm? Hmm?”

He shut his eyes painfully, fingers tightening around your wrists in frustration, hearing you wince in pain. “…God, you’re so stupid.” 

He pulls himself forward, his head drawing closer, and soon his lips on your face. The way they moved against you was sweet and slow as if to let you know that everything is ok, and eventually, everything will be. He loosens the grip on your wrist, causing you to drop your phone to the ground, cracking its screen. Your eyes flutter in anticipation, melting in his open arms. His arms tighten around your torso and you grasp his neck. Your bodies gravitate to the bedroom and Wonwoo never leaves your side.

This single event would lead to several endless night of involved with your dearest friend. Many of those nights including hands in each other hair, lips on each other’s body, hours lost in space, and more than enough orgasms to tattoo Wonwoos name on your tongue, and he loves how you would say his name. How he’d worship your body in return like religion, never ceasing to give every inch of you his undivided attention.

And this went on for as long as you needed. Wonwoo gave you all the distraction you needed, to the point that this entanglement started to work and you wouldn’t even think about calling up your ex.

“Mmh, Wonwoo.”

Your fingers interlocked with his hair, capturing his dark locks before tugging, his soft grunts escaping before his lips tug at your folds and close around your entrance. The way his arms would encapsulate around your thighs and push your sopping cunt closer to his face was exhilarating. The gears in your stomach churn like they were shifted to overdrive, mesmerized by the owner of those same eyes that a week ago scooped you from your disgraceful state and ravished you until the following morning. You were eternally grateful.

It is then you hear a buzz in the background of your pleasure, to which Wonwoo urges you to check who it was. You palm over the sheets and barely clutch in your hand and your eyes perk up at the sight of the dreaded name. “It’s S-Soonyoung.”

Wonwoo scoffs, “Good. Pick it up.”

“B-but—”

“I know, but I think you’re ready. Go ahead.”

You hesitantly accept the call, holding up to your ear. “Hello?”

Wonwoo mouths the word, ‘speaker,’ and you follow suit. You both hear your ex-boyfriend's voice bright and clear on the other end, talking to you as if nothing has changed.

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888 notes - Posted May 27, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

and they were roommates

A svt.hub collab

Pairing: camboy!chan x gn roommate!reader

Genre: smut

Word count: 2.2k

tags: mutual masturbation, nipple play, dirty talk

Summary: Wanting sex is a natural feeling, it just so happens that gratification could be found in the next room with a shitty webcam and an infectious laugh.

author note: so I hope you guys are liking the collab so far. its been in the works for a while and this has been one of the most fun projects i've had in a while since i get to meet so many new writers. I was in a harsh drought for a while and I'm just glad this collab sparked up some interest in writing again. Here's a link to part 2

You fall to the bed with your legs clenched together, soaking in your guilty arousal, whimpering as the images of the adult video you stumbled upon replayed in your head. In detail, you could remember the soothing tenor voice as he gasped out terms of endearment, teasing his audience before releasing thick milky fluid up his bare and toned abdomen. The white sunk into the valleys of his stomach, his hum echoing in your ears through your earbuds before letting out a soft thanks and leaving the prerecorded video with an ending statement he does in every video, “Hope you’ll cum again soon. Bye.”

You hardly entertained the idea of cam shows since high-level production porn was easily accessible and needed no monetary compensation for most sites, but this guy was intriguing enough to stay and watch. He seemed like the perfect combination of gentle yet demanding, even with his awful username (what kind of name was Din0dicksd0wn anyway). You thought of him so much, that you couldn’t help but imagine your mouth wrapped around that hard gorgeous cock. And then there was the matter of his familiarity, which frightens you for countless reasons you don’t want to get into.

He didn’t show his face at all in the videos, maybe a peek at his smile if he slouches, but everything about him was a mystery besides the fact he went by Dino and his laughter could uplift any spirit dead or alive. His seductive internet presence increased your screen time usage and now leaves you anticipating the next time he does a live show, where you’d have a front seat.

You kept your promiscuous thoughts to yourself as you wanted your roommate to come back with food, remembering how you work better on a full enough stomach. Promptly, he returns to your place of residence with food and a big goofy smile on his face. “I hope you like extra cheese!”

You smile thankfully at the young man, who is urging a filling burger to your lap and you enjoy your late dinner together. Now with your mind on the way to being nourished, you had to think of a way of doing some ‘finger painting’ with your innocent roommate from hearing or interrupting. “Don’t you have any plans tonight? What are you doing at home on a Saturday?”

He halts his chewing, looking over at you with frightened eyes, “Oh, just, nothing. I don’t feel like going out today ‘tis all.”

“So you’re gonna be home all night?” You rephrase with subtle disappointment in your tone.

“Yeah, I’m just tired,” he adds, “after eating I was gonna tuck in early. Work has been really tiring this week. How about you? Are you staying home?”

You gulp, readjusting your burger in your grip. “Yeah, I thought I might sleep too. I guess it was a rough week for the both of us.”

“Yup.”

Silence fills the air, neither one of you could look at each other. Chan awkwardly finishes the last of his fries and picks up after himself, offering to help you with any of your trash before he leaves. He sees you shake your head in response.

“No thanks, Chan. I’m good.”

Chan politely smiles, turning away from the living area and washing up before he starts to head to bed. You sigh quietly, crumbling up the paper wrapper and washing up in the kitchen sink with the bathroom occupied. Being home all day, there was no need for you to shower, just good teeth brushing. However, looks like the toothpaste you keep by for cases like this ran low, meaning you had to bother Chan for another awkward encounter. 

You speed up to the bathroom door and turn the knob open without thinking, wanting the interaction to be fast and over. On the other end, your roommate was already stripped of his work clothes, dawning a perfectly sculpted body that you could recognize immediately from a singular mole on his loser torso. You immediately clasp your hands over your eyes, blushing hard enough to taunt a bull, and his shrilish scream is all you can hear.

“Occupied! You knew I was in here!”

All you could see was black, but from the audible shuffling, he had to be covering his important bits. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I had to get toothpaste.”

“Ok well, get it and leave, please.”

You sheild your vision from his build and hastily grab the toiletry, shutting the door behind you. After running away, you brushed your teeth at the kitchen sink, lost in your thoughts. The fact of the matter dawned on you, making you feel a long list of emotions that included guilt and longing.

Even knowing the fact, it didn’t matter, you were still going to watch the damn stream. You’d only ever have to watch once and never again, for the sake of your sanity.

You plug your earbuds in and hand down your pants as you lay in peace, waiting for the page to start up. You remember Chan leaving the bathroom in a hurry, without a second glance your way, which only heightened your suspicion. When his username appeared as live, along with its stream, it was the same man you climaxed to hours ago, living, breathing simultaneously with you. 

The same shaped mole was on his torso leading up to friendly accompaniment of his genitals that only grazed your vision mere moments ago, and a smile once again peaks through the top of his screen. You internally melt.

“Good evening. I hope you guys had a nice day. Mine was…eventful. I hope you don’t mind me talking about my day.”

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1,005 notes - Posted June 19, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[fbfh]

I think you've horribly misread the situation [shitty roommate pt 2] - leo x reader

wc: 2.3k

genre: contemporary drama, you're definitly going to get second hand embarrassment, cozy fluff

pairing: leo x reader, attempted isabella x leo

reader: gender neutral, they/them

requested: hell yeah

warnings: mild swearing, roommate tries to steal your man once again, mentions of various mainstream vampire media (twilight, the vampire diaries etc.), brief mention of castlevania (even though i haven't seen it yet lol), breif mention of videogames and assassins creed, very mild delusion (roommate is secretly convinced leo is a vampire that's in love with her), attempted age gap relationship (she's 17 and leo's 19, he shuts that down real fast), very bad poetry

summary: You and Leo are both looking foward to spending a long weekend together, and Leo is determined not to let anything interrupt it, even if it means turning down your roommate's attempts to seduce him in the kitchen.

a/n: absolutley no hate or shade or judgement to anyone who has the same or similar traits as isabella!!!!!! at her core she's annoying because she's the antagonist, not bc of any isolated trait or traits

also she's shitty cause she keeps trying to steal your boyfriend?????

Edit: I forgot to mention before, but this is a college au where you're both still demigods, so you went to camp and on quests and stuff together

This weekend is going to be all about recharging. Recharging from the ridiculous back to back closing and opening shifts at work, recharging from having to redo that stupid project twice because your professor couldn’t decide on a clear way to define the criteria, and recharging from Isabella having her townie friend Regan over almost non stop to “completely shake up her look” as she put it.

Between the constant presence of someone you’d barely consider an acquaintance and Big Time Rush’s self titled album blasting on repeat out of her giant airpod shaped speaker, it’s been harder than usual to get in some effective self care. You have no idea how many more times you can hear the phrase “I’m going for Jade West meets Elena Gilbert, with just a little Buffy Summers” before you lose your fucking mind.

Thankfully, the hard part is almost over. There’s some minor holiday tomorrow on friday, so you and Leo both have a three day weekend ahead of you, which you intend to spend entirely together. You planned ahead, frontloading homework, chores, errands, and everything you could think of to remove anything that isn’t cuddling or playing video games and watching netflix together from your horizon.

This includes going straight from work to the grocery store to stock the fridge and get any snacks you and Leo want. You had texted him a while ago asking for anything he was craving, and head into the store with a concrete list. After a while, you circle around some aisles, avoiding the check out.

“I feel like I’m forgetting something,” you muse, knowing it’s untrue, but hoping to trigger a memory anyway. You can’t put it off any longer, finally checking out and heading back to your apartment. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t avoiding Isabella just a little.

You know bringing in all these groceries would be way easier with Isabella and possibly Regan’s help, but you just don’t have the social energy to talk to anyone, much less her, right now. By some miracle, you bring everything in yourself, and hope to get it put away before you see Isabella.

You turn to the freezer, putting away the ice cream. When you turn back around, you’re suddenly met face to face with Isabella, who has opened one of the boxes and is picking at a pastry.

“Hey girlie,” she says, elongating the hey.

“Hey,” you reply lethargically, putting the last of the groceries away. She looks at the pastry in her hand like she’s just noticing it.

“Sorry, I can’t help it, I’m italian.” She smiles, endeared by her own behavior. You have no idea what being italian has to do with asking before you open a box of your roommate’s food, but this really isn’t out of character for her. She brings up the fact that she’s half italian more than Lele Pons blames her behavior on being latina.

She’s wearing sweatpants that say chaser on the leg in red and gold varsity font, and a tight tee shirt that says “it’s okay to love them both” with silhouettes of the male love interests from one of the vampire shows she always watches. You collect the plastic bags to put in recycling, and see a piece of paper on the counter.

It reads as follows:

Drowning in my mind

No one hears me cry

Who was I before society

Before society put me in a pink dress

And handed me blonde hair dye

And told me to lose ten pounds or be labeled a freak?

The happiest people cry the most

Let the lyrics be your story

But I’m not like the other skinny blonde pretty girls

I’m

Different

-b.g. xox

You hold back a sigh.

“I think this is yours.” you say, handing it to her.

“Oh, it’s just some of my poetry I left lying around, that’s so embarrassing.”

I know, you think, you do that all the time.

“Did you read it?” She asks, hopefully.

“Nope.”

“Thank god, that would have been so embarrassing. My poetry is something really… deep, and personal to me.”

“Uh huh. Hey, I’m going to be doing a lot of self care this weekend, so-”

“Oh!” she interjects, eerily similar to Phoebe Buffay - you guess she’s been watching friends again - “I wanted to ask… is Leo coming over later?” Her voice is riddled with subtext, the expression on her face a little too invested in your answer.

“Uh, yeah. I told you the other day we’re spending the weekend together…”

She cuts you off again, a sudden, intense look on her face.

“When will he be here?”

You check your phone, scrolling through your recent texts.

“By 7 at the latest.” It’s around 6:40 now.

“Oh my god, I have to change,” she rushes back to her room, presumably digging through her recent additions to her closet.

You’re frozen for a minute after the interaction, left with a furrowed brow and the beginnings of a headache. You blink, then choose to reschedule processing why she feels the need to change for your boyfriend to a more convenient time. That’s enough of that for today. You don’t care what else happens, you’re not talking to anyone besides Leo for at least the rest of the day. You retreat to your room to finally shower and change into something comfy. As you pass by Isabella’s room, you hear her talking to Regan.

“...There’s something almost… supernatural about him.”

You bite back a laugh.

“Do you think he’s a…” Regan begins, ending the sentence with something too quiet to hear, but you’d bet almost any organ she said vampire.

So close. So, so close, and yet… here you are.

Not much later, Leo texts you to let you know he’s here. You read his text, and run out to hug him in the living room before even typing a reply. He picks you up, and spins you around. The embrace is warm and fulfilling and familiar, and you wish it would last forever.

“Hi, Sparky.” you murmur into his neck.

“Estrella…” he says, rocking you back and forth gently and pressing a kiss into your jawline, “I missed you so much.” He punctuates the sentence with another kiss, this one to your lips, and you smile more genuinely than you have all day. You’re about to agree when you remember the good news you’ve been saving to tell him in person.

“Guess what I got on sale for like, half off,” you start, excitedly, continuing at his invested expression, “the Assassin’s Creed bundle I showed you!”

“No way,” he starts, and you nod.

“I’ll go get everything set up, drinks are in the kitchen!” He watches you retreat into your room, disbelieving how he could possibly get someone as perfect as you to fall for him. He’s not going to question his luck. He grabs a couple caffeinated sparkling ices, and meets you in your room, setting down his bag and grabbing some comfy clothes to change into.

As you both get settled in, you fill each other in on all the ridiculous shit you’ve been through this week. You finally conclude the bizarre - yet somehow standard - Isabella escapades.

“So I will be avoiding all contact as much as possible,” you laugh.

“Yeah, no shit,” he agrees, “Consider me your human buffer.” You thank him, hugging him again and pressing a kiss to his lips.

The next couple hours are spent cuddling and finishing season 4 of Castlevania. Both reeling from the season finale, you agree this is a good place to take a break, get some food, and decide what game you should start with. It’s already 10pm, which most people would consider too late for dinner, but you have all weekend to fuck up your sleep schedules.

“Let’s review,” Isabella says, holding up two red lipsticks. She turns to Regan. “Which one?”

“That one,” Regan says, pointing to the one on the left, then turns to her list, and continues. “Here’s what we know; we’ve never seen him eat, and he never seems tired. He’s really smart-”

“Almost too smart,” Isabella adds, selecting black rose dangle earrings from her jewelry. Regan agrees, and continues.

“He’s almost hypnotically attractive, and his smile is a little too dazzling.”

“There’s something… supernatural about him. Like he’s not… all human.”

Regan writes this down.

“Plus he’s always wearing black and red, and those flowy button up shirts? It’s all adding up, Ree. That dream that someone was outside my window, the ring, everything…” She says, referencing the black and red cocktail ring she’d found with her stuff when she’d first moved, “I’m not saying it’s definite, just that… there’s a chance.”

“What about…” Regan says hesitantly, nodding toward your room.

“Please,” she scoffs, “he’s only with them to get close to me, like Damon and Caroline. Edward couldn’t have just approached Bella out of the blue, he had to infiltrate her friend group first, to seem less suspicious. Not to sound mean or anything, but they really don’t seem like the type someone… like him… would choose.” her voice gets dreamy when she mentions him.

In spite of having seen most mainstream vampire media almost as many times as Isabella, Regan still considers her the expert on these things, and decides not to point out that Edward didn’t infiltrate Bella’s friend group. Maybe it comes up in one of the retellings she hasn’t read yet.

“So, what now?”

Isabella sets down her lipstick, and turns to her friend.

“I tell him.”

Regan’s eyes widen.

“You’re going to tell him you know?”

“No… not yet. It’s too soon, we don’t have enough evidence. I’m going to tell him I know he’s in love with me, then once he’s secure in our relationship... we’ll see where it goes.”

She stands up, assessing herself in the mirror. She chose her outfit carefully; short red dress with black roses and black mesh collar, black rose bracelet to match her earrings, snug faux leather jacket, and black stiletto ankle booties with a very skinny heel, the zipper on the outside gold, not silver. She fluffs her wavy hair and turns towards the door. She looks back one more time, holding onto the doorway.

“Wish me luck.”

Leo enters the kitchen, seeing Isabella already there, leaning against the counter seductively. She’s wearing an outfit and jewelry this late at night that makes Leo wonder if she’s going to an emo tea party. He puts the takeout in the microwave. She’s still staring at him.

“Uh… hey.”

She lets out a dainty giggle, looking him up and down.

“... Hi.”

At a loss for words, and really wanting the awkward silence to be over, he continues, “Did you need something?”

“What I need,” she walks closer to him, tracing her finger over his collar, “is you.”

What the fuck?

His brain seems to stall for a moment, and she uses this opportunity to continue.

“I know why you’re here. I know that you’re only using them to get closer to me. I know-”

“Woah-”

“That you’re in love with me.”

Okay, double what the fuck.

She takes his stunned silence as shyness, and steps closer, putting her arms around his shoulders.

“You don’t need to play so coy, I-”

This time she’s the one that gets cut off. He grabs her arms and gently steps away, trying to make it abundantly clear that he’s not into this.

“Woah, okay, slow down. First of all, you’re 17 and I’m turning 20 in a couple months, so that’s a hard no. Second, I don’t know where you got this idea, but I am not dating them to get closer to you. We’ve known each other since we were like, 15, and have been through everything together. I’ve only known you for a couple months. I love them. Probably more than I’ve loved anything ever. I thought that was pretty obvious.”

He doesn’t want to be mean, he really doesn’t, but he can tell from the look on her face that she still thinks this is all part of some game.

“So why don’t I ever see you eat? Why are you so smart, and always up at night? I know what you are.”

He has to physically hold back a laugh. He takes a step back, and places his hands on the counter.

“Isabella, I have adhd. And I’m literally an engineering student. Why wouldn’t I be smart and have a shitty sleep schedule?”

She starts to protest, and he pulls out the reheated take out from the microwave.

“And for the record, I do eat.”

Exiting the kitchen quickly and retreating back to your room, he hands you your food.

“I got the game set up!” you say excitedly.

“Nice!”

You take one look at his face and can tell something happened. He sees this, and continues.

“I just had a very… interesting interaction with Isabella,” before he finishes the sentence, your head is already in your hands. You let out a groan.

“What did she do?” you mutter from behind your hands.

He pulls you into his lap, rubbing your back.

“I’m not totally sure,” you laugh, “but I think she thinks I’m secretly in love with her…” you’re both laughing before he can even finish the sentence.

“No…” you laugh, “no fucking way…”

“Believe me, I put an end to that as soon as it started.”

“Oh, I do.”

He runs his hand over your back, and you’re quiet for a moment.

“You know,” he continues, “I think getting our own place has definitely moved up the priority list.”

You couldn’t agree more.

[awesomerextyphoon]

Madripoor Musings

Summary: You’re undercover as Zemo’s Sugar Baby while you’re with the team in Madripoor. You seem to like the position a little too much and Sam gets jealous.

Parings: Sam Wilson x Black Female Reader, slight Zemo x Black Female Reader

Word Count: 1,685

Rating: 18+ / Explicit

Warnings: FATWS Spoilers, Smut, Oral (f receiving), Light Choking, Angst, Semi-Public Smut,  Daddy Kink, and Slight Emotional Manipulation

A/N: Ran into another writer’s block so I’m using prompts from this list to get myself out of it. Enjoy!

Back to Masterlist

“So, are we good to go, everyone?”

The four of you were jet-setting in Zemo’s private plane to Madripoor to get info on this new version of super solider serums. Zemo came up with the idea of having Sam go undercover as the West African weapons dealer/smuggler, Smiling Tiger. Bucky returned to his ‘Winter Soldier’ mode and you were to become ‘Miss Erina’, Zemo’s new arm candy/Sugar Baby.

Your backstory was simple: you’ve been with Zemo since before he went to prison living in his many estates and luxurious apartments.

It took some time for everyone to get into character. Sam tried and failed to pull off a Nigerian accent while Bucky kept up his hard glare and glower routine. You and Zemo put on the perfect couple facade with the both of you placing semi-sensual touches on each other’s bodies and showering each other with (sometimes lewd) compliments.

“Oh, thank you for the necklace, Daddy!” you gushed loving the way Sam was fuming. Bucky almost broke his character trying not to snicker.

“Nothing’s too much for you, котёнок/kotyonok (kitten).” Zemo mused as he offered you a coy smirk and leaned in for a kiss.

You giggled as he placed kisses along your jawline, neck, and collarbone.

“We’ll continue this later, киса,” Zemo whispered while winking at Sam.

 ––––

 Madripoor was amazing, to say the least. It was a cyberpunk wet dream with bright lights at various angles and two distinct levels giving off a Black Lagoon/Blade Runner/Ghost in Shell vibe.

It felt like your kind of town.

It’s been like this since the Snap. Your older sister died in a car crash right after Thanos’ victory. Your father and uncle were blipped into the ocean dying instantly. Nowadays, your mother could barely talk to you without crying.

Natasha was dead and Steve fucked off to the 1940s to crush English pussy. Sharon got branded an enemy of the US Government and was forced to run. Some dumbass cracker (you will NEVER acknowledge his name) was given Sam’s rightful shield and mantle of Captain America by the craven, racist US government and had the NERVE to tell you to stay out of his way.

To top it all off, you found out that the US military tortured a man for 30 YEARS in order to ‘make the perfect soldier’.

You were finally in a place that matched how you felt.

“We’re heading into Low Town. Be on your guard, everyone.” Zemo warned as he lifted your chin and kissed you again. He insisted on walking towards your escort.

“Why do I have to wear this again? I look like a pimp!” Sam whined while looking sexy AF in his Ankara (I’m saying it’s Ankara) suit.

“Don’t mind him, Daddy. Sam has no sense of style.” You joked snuggling closer to Zemo.

“We’re not at the club yet.” Sam pointed out, vexed at the way you were clinging onto Zemo.

“We cannot let our guard down, Wilson. Selby has eyes everywhere.”

Sam relented and tried not to look your way. It was tempting due to you wearing an amazing Burgundy Fashion Nova Sugar Free Mini Dress with Black Bow Whoa Pumps. Your curves were out, but not in a shameless manner.

You had class, yet you were a tease.

 ––––

 The ride to Selby’s was nothing short of thrilling.

You were right about the overall aesthetic. Madripoor definitely has the ‘dystopian punk’ feel on lock.

“You look radiant, котёнок.” Zemo cooed as you kissed his neck liking how smiled at Sam and inwardly cackled at Sam’s glower.

 –––––

 Several men and some women moved to make a pass at you on the way to the club. A few audacious men learned that you were Zemo’s the hard way, Bucky made sure of it.

You had to mask your displeasure at how many people were shooting appreciative glances at Sam.

You just hoped this escapade would end soon.

 ––––––

 Zemo advised everyone to aim straight for the bar wrapping his arm around your waist as he strode into the club. Sam and Bucky followed suit slipping into their Apex and Winter modes respectively.

The bartender licked his lips as he looked you over, “Thought Selby told ya you ain’t welcomed here, Zemo.”

Zemo raised an eyebrow, “I know, but this is important,” he eyed several bouncers making their way towards your group. Their moves did not faze the baron. He simply turned to Bucky and whispered in his ear.

It didn’t take long for Bucky to let loose. You could’ve sworn a couple of people were ready to shit themselves.

 –––––

 Selby was...interesting. She/They gave off a pretentious ‘I’m always ten steps ahead’ aura with a bit of fake whimsy. She/They wanted to give you to one of her best clients and keep Bucky for herself/themselves (probably for sexual reasons, didn’t want to pry).

The conversation was going well...until Sam’s phone went off.

Insert facepalm.

You’ve told him time and time again to put his phone on silent and get rid of vibrate. Now he was gonna get y’all killed, but you said,” Fuck it!” and shot her/them and the #2.

The group had to book it and you cursed yourself for wearing non-running heels.

 _____

 Your asses were saved by a guardian sniper, Sharon. You were glad to see her again missing your bi-weekly movie nights and sporadic weekend brunches.

“It’s good to see you, Sharon.” You greeted as you hugged Sharon at the entrance of her High Town pad.

“It’s great to see you, too, even after you’ve destroyed my work.” Sharon lowered her voice while pressing her lips together in frustration and then lust at the sight of Sam’s deliciously thicc upper body.

You couldn’t blame her as you wanted to run your hands and tongue along his planes of muscle.

You listened in on the group’s conversation as you changed clothes seeing Sam’s distress at Sharon and Zemo’s words. They did have a point about how being a hero does ring hollow, but it still hurt to see Sam’s sadness and hurt.

 ––––––

 You found Zemo, bless his heart, dancing like a lost dad on the dance floor and started grinding against him while shooting Sam a sexy pout accentuating your sensually full lips.

Sam, for his part, was trying to look interested talking to a waitress with killer legs. He almost lost it when he put his arms around your waist.

“Let’s see if we can get a reaction out of him,” you whispered wrapping your arms around his neck. He knew that Sam hasn’t been giving it lately.

 ––––––

 Your little stunt lasted for about ten minutes before Sam stomped over grabbing your arm and dragging you into one of Sharon’s ‘private rooms’ after another man got too close to what was his.

“Why did you drag me away like that?!” you shouted secretly turned on by the raging fire in his eyes.

“So you like calling your men ‘Daddy’?” Sam demanded as he backed you into the wall.

“I’m your ‘daddy’ now, vixen.” Sam breathed while lightly dragging his finger up your thighs only to find no panties.

“No panties, huh?” he smirked as he twirled his forefinger around your clit causing you to moan.

“Fuck, I love hearing you moan. Say my name, vixen. Don’t care if Sharon finds out.” Sam murmured against your lips. He effortlessly lifted you in such a way to make you wonder if he got some SS serum. It didn’t hurt that you got to see his muscles bulge underneath his turtleneck as he landed your blessed backside onto one of the tables.

“Eyes on me, kitten,” Sam ordered as he forced open your legs and made his way your slit leaving open-mouthed kisses and love bites in his wake. “You're already soaking for me, baby.” he mused as he gave your slit a long lick.

You could barely keep yourself from moaning.

“Who's your daddy, baby?”

“You are!”

“I’m your ONLY daddy!” Sam shouted and dove in.

You were drowning in ecstasy.

Sam was hitting all the right notes with your pussy. He was always a G at eating you out. Sam swatted your hand away from your mouth, “I want everyone to know who your real daddy is,!”

He kept you on edge for nine excruciating minutes before he finally let you orgasm.

“No time for rest, vixen.” Sam chided as he flipped you on the table ass up with your dress bunched up around your chest,” Are you a good little vixen?” Sam breathed in your ear as he placed kisses along your ear, neck, and collarbone.

“Yes, daddy.”

“You’re damn right I am!” He sheaved himself into you in one swift motion. You moaned in delight at the sensation. He didn’t move no matter how much you begged him, “Tell the world who your daddy is,” he instructed as he slapped your plump ass.

You screamed out his name and Sam started thrusting. He gently wrapped his hand around your neck while demanding you to shout his name. Sam pounded into you at a relentless pace constantly hitting your ‘Cum Dizzy Sector’ turning you into a delightfully orgasmic mess.

Sam was reaching his limit so he played with your clit to make you finish first. You came with what felt like an earth-shattering orgasm with Sam coming with a primal roar not too long afterward.

Both of you were so wrapped up in orgasmic bliss that you didn’t notice Sharon, Zemo, Bucky, and a few other partygoers at the door.

“So, how did go?” Sharon teased as you tried to cover yourself up.

“How much did you see?”

“Hmm,” Sharon hummed while tapping her chin, “Enough for me to close a $19.8M art deal.”

“We’re getting a 10% cut.” Sam barked annoyed with the rest of the group reigning in on his smash time.

“Fine. Get dressed, I got a lead.” Sharon announced while smirking all the way to her quarters.

You smirked at Zemo as you made your way to the exit.

Worth it.

[mrwinterr]

So Happy

Pairing: Rockstar!Bucky Barnes AU x Female Reader

Summary: After a night with your favorite artist, you’re left wondering where you both really stand. 

Warnings: Smut 18+ (consensual, but unprotected sex, oral [male & female receiving], vaginal penetration and fingering, size kink and dirty talk). Language. Light mentions of substance abuse. Lying asses. Internet toxicity (I hate it here sometimes). Angst, I guess...TIME SKIP...and absolute horrendous fluff (that’s not my brand, alright).

Disclaimer: You can read part 1 here! It would make some sense. 

A/N: This follow-up is still based on some true events. Can’t hate the players, hate the game. For the most part it’s made up because some of us deserve the ending we think we deserve. I’m dedicating this to @shawnie--jo​ for all the love, enthusiasm and the patience because this took me a while. It’s a doozy! & with that note, enjoy!

“You owe me,” is the first thing you hear your friend say the moment you stepped foot back into the hotel you had booked for the night before. It was in a much different tone than of the one she had in line for the concert.

Frozen in place, you turn your attention to her sitting figure on one of the single couches of the lobby. She wasn’t happy that much you could tell judging by the expression on her face and the way she sat impatiently, one leg over the other and her arms crossed against her chest.

The bag next to hers on the ground adjacent to her feet were your belongings. The way it was misshapen suggested she had hastily shoved your things back in it for you. She must’ve been in a rush to leave before checking out or…

“You owe me $50 for the late check out fee,” she clarifies, ceasing all thoughts of why she was currently pissed at you.

Now begins the walk of shame. It wasn’t something you were used to. Could you even call this that? You had no reason to feel ashamed because you were completely aware of last night’s events. You defended your decision as so! Then why did you feel this way?

Perhaps it had to do with you just now returning to the hotel you were supposed to have been checked out of hours ago, but instead you’re greeted to your more than displeased best friend staring daggers at you for a different reason.

Sheepishly bringing a hand to rub the back of your neck, when you’re close enough to her, you open your mouth to begin apologizing, but she wasn’t done as she got up on her feet to level with you.

“You said you would be back before check out,” she said voice slowly rising in volume, no matter the distance between you two was close or not, you could tell this was just the start of a catalyst, “and it’s...oh,” she stops to look down at her phone, which shined bright revealing her lock screen and more importantly the time, “...only three hours past check out!” Yup, not happy with you at all.  

“I know you’re upset,” you start with the obvious, “and you have the right to be. I said I would be back in time, but I wasn’t,” maybe admitting you were wrong would allow her to see you were indeed aware of your mistakes, soften the blow to come a little bit.

“Upset? I’m disappointed!” she says, her arms falling to her sides and with a look of disbelief but is quickly washed over with indisposition. “Some sell-out rockstar invites you over to see him and you lose your sense of mind?”

“Look, I’ll pay you back. It’s no big deal.” At least on your end, you’re trying to remain calm even when her tone and choice of words get under your skin. You didn’t need this weekend to end on a bad note.

“This isn’t about the money!” She proclaimed.

“Then why are you bitching at me? I’m a grown adult! I know what I did-” Yeah, at least you were trying to stay composed, right?

“Do you?” She challenges. It’s one of those rhetorical questions, in which she didn’t need an answer to, but you were still going to give her one.

“Yes, ok. I slept with Bucky and I don’t regret it.”

The defense you put up so quickly around you weren’t something your friend was used to witnessing...maybe to your parents, yeah, but not at her. Sure, you’ve both had the occasional quarrels, but your relationship and sexual life was different because she really cared for your wellbeing and would be damned if someone hurt you.

“I’m just worried,” she admits for her initial brute front, “what you did was totally unlike you and I…”

“What?” You interrupt her, growing more tired of this conversation by the second.

“I don’t trust Bucky.” She blurts out.

You scoff at that reasoning, “you don’t know him-”

“And you do?” This time she interrupts and catches you off guard on that one. “You’re right. I don’t know him, but you said it yourself. Bucky meets tons of people every day. He’s on the road a lot. It’s easy for him to get lonely.”

There it was again. The self-conscious thoughts questioning everything about last night’s events. In a pathetic display of defense, you start counter-questioning her with some of the statements Bucky said to you. Why would he tell you all those sweet things and pretty promises if he knew he could have you so easily? Why would he think you weren’t like the other women out there who exposed their escapades for their 15 minutes of fame? What made him think anything of you? There were other girls in the crowd.

“He’s going to tell you things he wants you to hear to get what he wants.” She really believed that. She knew what some men were capable of. She had more experience than you and you often turned to her for things like this.

Her last sentence was something to let sink in. The way last night played out and the last few hours you spent with Bucky; you were blinded by a rose tint world.

Earlier that morning...

“You know,” Bucky starts with his gaze first set on your face, slowly starting to drift down your body trying to catch a glimpse of uncovered skin that the blanket was doing a horrible job in concealing. You watch with bubbling desire the way he bit his bottom lip and eyes growing darker, ”...if you ever need anything. I’m here to help. I can get you out of that town and you can stay with me in Brooklyn. We’ll find you a place to work in that’ll appreciate you more.”

He was a dream. He was so sweet, but you weren’t going to deny it. As much as you adored what little you knew about the real Bucky, a part of you that was always so careful was also skeptical. That voice in the back of your mind, whether it was your parents, teachers in the past, PSA spokespersons or your best friend, was still trying to tell you Bucky wasn’t an exception.

Then on the other hand, you were finally getting what you wanted. You weren’t a little girl anymore. You could take care of your own heart. Why couldn’t you have some fun? Indulge a little. Life is too short to sit around and wait. If he was serious about any of the things he said, then great! If not, oh well, you’ll live. What’s life without experience, right?

You just never imagined any of the harmless mentions or replies through social media were going to get you in bed with him and so smitten.

When Bucky pulls his lips away from you, he repositions himself on the bed to lie on his back and bask in the comfortable silence. You’re still on your side, but your eyes suddenly widen as you curiously take a peek over his frame and notice the red numbers of the alarm clock on the bedside table. The curtains were drawn shut, so you had no trace of the actual time of day.

“Shit,” you muttered to yourself, but was no use. It was just you and Bucky in the room and he’d definitely wonder why you’d grown frantic.

“Whoa. What’s the rush?” He says slowly sitting up, still exhausted, and watching you throw the hotel comforter over your body to get out of bed. You didn’t even care that you were naked in front of him. He’d have a souvenir to remember you by.

The sex tape was the least of your worries though. You fucking missed check out! You can only imagine the look on your friend’s face when you reunite.

“I missed check out,” you respond while momentarily being thrown off course in search of your underwear, but then instantly remembering how Bucky tore it off of you, and you did your best to push aside last night’s activities.

“What?” He asks, rubbing his face trying to rid himself of sleep. He had to get going too. The band was off to play in the next city in some hours. Unfortunately, you didn’t have enough time to take off from work to follow him.

“The hotel I’m staying at. I missed check out and my friend is going to be so pissed at me,” you explained beaten. You can’t for the life of you see where your clothes were in the dark room.

Drawing the curtains open or switching the light on without warning wouldn’t be ideal to the both of you and not only that, the effects of the substances your body was coursed through, the physicality of you and Bucky’s actions last night, the consequence of it all topped with the lone fact that you’re now standing naked in front of Bucky starts to seep in.

You try not to stand there awkwardly and do the only thing you can do. Inhibition creeping back in, you cover your face with your hands and breath in and out, hoping the floor would swallow you whole so you could escape this embarrassment and your friend’s pending wrath.

“Look,” Bucky says now in front of you, pulling your hands away from your face, he’s naked too, washing away some traces of vulnerability away, “you’re already late. You can’t change that. We can only keep moving forward,” he says, his arms slipping around your body to pull you close to his.

The sudden jolt from the skin-to-skin contact quickly subsides with the warmth of his body transferring onto yours. You hold onto his biceps and nod in acceptance. Any attempt to rush back to your hotel wasn’t going to do you any favors now.

“So then, what do you say we get cleaned up and try to enjoy our time together?” The way his head tilted to the side, a not-so-subtle hint in the direction of the shower in the bathroom, his smooth voice and his eyes half-lidded, ready to get lost in you one more time.

You said it yourself, life was short, so if you already knew your friend was going to chew you out, why deny yourself of its pleasures right now, especially if it’s coming from Bucky. 

“Can we just get going? We’ll catch traffic on the way back to the city if we just stand here and keep putting each other down,” you ask, slightly shaking your head of the early morning activities and straightening yourself up, bending forward to pick up your bag and sling it over your shoulder.

This little spat would eventually pass. None of the arguments you two had were ever threatening to your friendship with each other. You’ve both fought over things much more critical that it’d be a shame to let it be over someone like Bucky.

Before you could turn back around to exit, your friend grabs a hold of your arm and stops you. “I don’t want to see you get hurt. I could be wrong. Bucky could be the one, but I want you to be smart about doing whatever you end up doing with him. I just want you to ultimately be happy,” she says wholeheartedly.

You knew she was only coming from a good place. She only ever encouraged you to do your best and the right thing. She was the one you sought out advice from and she never led you astray. In the end, you knew you couldn’t ever truly be mad at her. You owed her more than $50 alone.

“Thanks. I’m sorry for snapping at you. I know your intentions are in the right place and I really appreciate you for everything. You even agreed to come to this show with me! But I’m only human and I’m going to make mistakes along the way,” you say and notice the fallen look on her face, but you don’t give her long enough to feel sorry for you with your follow up statement, “...if I get hurt, it’s going to suck, but I’ll get back up, learn from it and move on. Plus, I’ll have you there by my side to tell you I told you so...again, and we both know how much you enjoy that!” You end it on a joking note.  

A look of hope creeps back in on your friend and she’s pleased to see your resilient attitude again. You give her your best steadfast smile and it seemingly proved to be successful enough for her to accept your answer as she pulls you in for a warm hug.

You wonder, what Bucky’s motive was? He was Bucky Barnes. He could have anyone. Why did he trust you enough to be intimate with? What was his game? You just had to keep telling yourself for your sanity and wellbeing, with or without Bucky, in the end you’d still be happy.

The months to follow after that tour, you and Bucky had continued to stay in touch. You genuinely felt happy. He was giving you attention! From daily texts and long phone conversations or video calls, some rather suggestive than most, you were able to really learn a lot about each other. While you minded his glamorous lifestyle, each interaction erased all notions of it and he was just another normal human being.

If you were being truthful, a part of you was hoping whatever the two of you had was exclusive. You didn’t want to admit it, but you were in a way reserving yourself for Bucky because you felt there was something between you two and maybe he was just like you and too shy to be the one to bring it up first.

At times you’d find yourself being the one to initiate conversation...especially when the communication started becoming less frequent. They then reduced to just Holiday texts and suddenly they’d become unresponsive and you’d even be left on read. He never flew you to Brooklyn. He never followed you back on social media. You’d accepted he was most likely busy and the excuse of not wanting to attract unwanted attention to you, but the reality of it was he had seemed to move on.  

It’d been close to a year and things were really quiet. The Avengers hadn’t released anything new nor did they have an upcoming tour to rehearse for. You’re trying to not let Bucky’s silence bug you and do what you’ve always told yourself - keep living your life. You weren’t going to lie to yourself, you were angry at first for letting him get to you like that and realize that boys will be boys. They would never grow a real pair and be straight with women. They always had to go and sugarcoat everything. You had to accept it. Don’t hate the player, hate the game. You were just a one-night stand and the worst part of it was that you consented to it, so you couldn’t hold anything against him.

Things picked back up in your life, work demanded more of your time and you were dating again, taking it very slow and casual. You knew nothing more would come out of it, but it was enough to distract you from Bucky. Life was slowly returning back to normal, even though it never truly could be, until you notice Bucky is posting regularly on his social media accounts again.

It’s not so much that but is one of the comments from another user that is a constant in each sporadic post. You recognize the user as an international model from another country. Curiosity gets the best of you and you decide to check out her profile, noting all the photos of them together and realizing that while you thought Bucky went M.I.A., he was spending his free time getting cozy with her in exotic places.

Her comments start out harmless in the beginning, but quickly become more and more persistent until one sets the record straight. It read, “that’s MY man” followed by a number of heart eye emojis.

You didn’t even know Bucky and the model knew of each other, but why wouldn’t they? He was exposed to extraordinary people, so finding someone in the business was a better bet than settling with you. They lived in a totally different world than yours.

There’s a plethora of thoughts that run through your mind. This is why he isn't responding to you. He had a girlfriend, who was in a much different league than of your own, and he didn’t really go public with it on his end. It made you sad, that much you could admit to yourself because you held back for him, but you weren’t going to admit this feeling to him or your friend or the world. You were going to prove to them you’d do the same thing - move on. 

It’s a rather slow day at work and you’ve resulted in mindlessly scrolling through your Facebook newsfeed, but growing tired of lame memes and life updates from people you haven’t spoken to since high school, you switch over to Twitter for a more different kind of news and also a bit of some entertainment.

You’re not expecting the particular topic to be trending - #BuckyBarnesIsCancelled. You’d manage to move on from whatever it was between you and Bucky and returned back to your daily routine. You tried to remain a fan of The Avengers, but it wasn’t the same. The fling, if you could call it, with Bucky wouldn’t let you. You’d always be grateful for how their music impacted your life, but you’d have to keep living your life despite what transpired.  

Sitting up from your slumped position in your office chair, you ponder for maybe two seconds before clicking on the hashtag. Things were still pretty quiet with The Avengers, with the exception of paparazzi photos here and there, but this seemingly came out of nowhere. What stupid thing did he get himself into?

“No way,” you mock at the headline. Claims of Bucky being mentally abusive, and an addict were being made left and right.

You scrolled through the timeline and threads of replies to find the source of it all and you were shocked that it came from none other than his own girlfriend...well now ex-girlfriend you assumed. The vindictive side of you only allowed a small part in finding some humor in this, but if Bucky was any bit of the Bucky you spent the night with and got to know for those few short months then this was sad for him.

There wasn’t much you could do though. What were you to do? Send him a message of condolences of some sort? He’d probably just leave you on read. Whatever you two had was long over.

Bucky’s agency did well to defend him and save his reputation. They released one statement to clear things up. There’d been images before of him partying and no doubt high on some substance, but that didn’t prove he was an addict. Then again, did you ever really know him? You’d been exposed to that stuff around and because of him. Some people just had more access to certain things than others did.

In some time, when things leveled out once more, he seemed to be back in the clear, but at a rate where people have already decided whose story they believed over the other, whose side they were on, the damage had been done. If there was a recurring theme here, Bucky had one thing to do after the scandal - move on with his life.

It felt a little strange being here again. If you take into consideration some of the things that had already happened, a lot has really changed since you were last in a line to see The Avengers live.

The band had taken a short hiatus to let the fire die out from Bucky’s scandal. It was probably a smart move - to let people cool their jets and forget. It was last reported Bucky had turned a new leaf...something about getting help. Steve took time off to focus on other projects...something about humanitarian work. Sam released some solo stuff...something with a different sound, but still as successful. The time off was probably the best for the guys.

There weren’t as many people it seemed, but enough for them to play in one of the city’s largest venues. You suppose that’s what a span of three years could do to an artist. When the tour was announced you weren’t sure if you should buy a ticket or not, but it’d been some time since you had a night where you could forget about the stresses of the world for a few hours. Never mind the short stint between you and Bucky, you were still a fan of their music and the joyous feeling you got from it was timeless.

This time you were alone. You didn’t even tell your friend they were touring again. Bucky was almost a nonexistent topic for a good while now. Plus, she had her own life to live and couldn’t always be there next to you. You were the bigger fan after all. On top of that, she would’ve most likely have advised against you attending.

Your attire was not to impress, electing on something casual and comfortable with a simple pair of jeans, a leather jacket over a nice top that did a better job at controlling your cleavage than the last one, and cute boots. Yeah, a lot had changed, but the scene didn’t as there were still a mix of fans, old and new, over and under dressed.

The guys still had it. They looked great! They definitely belonged on the stage for the world to see. They even played a 3-song encore. You could tell they loved doing what they did and anyone who was a fan could feel the passion and energy they poured out in the performance.

You’re currently sitting in the seat of your car, head resting against the headrest as you try to unwind a little from standing for a few hours and from the walk back to the parking garage when your phone vibrates and chimes loudly.  

You glance over at the device you placed next to the driving console and your eyebrows scrunch in confusion at the name that appeared. Bucky Barnes. You’d never deleted his number and his text message thread had remained at the very bottom of your messaging app all this time. A sense of apprehension flows through you as you wonder what he could possibly want. How do you just text someone after ghosting them for over a year? Not to mention to someone you did something so intimate with and made all those promises to in the past. How does one do that?

Not wanting to dwell on it any longer or slip into restless thoughts about Bucky again because it wasn’t a walk in the park to forget about him, you open the text. It asks if you were in attendance because he claimed to have seen you in the crowd. This time around you’re not overthinking about what to respond with, you simply say yes. He’d been quick with his next message asking if you were still in the area to meet up.

The wise thing would probably be to reject the invite, but you find yourself once again staring at a hotel door waiting for him to open it. Initially, you’d suggested he tell you what he wanted to say via text, but he said it was something that had to be told in person. So, having been through what you had as a result of meeting up with him in the past, you had some sense of mind this time, you’d just have to make another mental note to not jump into bed with him again. If you were being truthful to yourself, the sex tape left you feeling a little cheap. He didn’t even send it to you as some form of fucked up courtesy or assure you that it wasn’t ever going to get leaked and luckily it hasn’t. You hoped he’d deleted it.

It was almost like Deja vu. You might as well have been reliving the night the first time Bucky invited you over to his hotel room. In the beginning it was kind of awkward and quiet, and it was exactly that years later, just with added history of course.

You’d chosen to sit on the end of one of the beds while Bucky moved slowly around the room trying to gather his thoughts and where to start. He notices the change in you. You were more confident and as you should be. Bucky Barnes couldn’t intimidate you this time. He had more to be embarrassed about than you did now.

Even though you had nowhere to be in the morning, it was getting late and you really would just like to get this meeting over with and Bucky was stalling.

“Bucky, why did you invite me here?” You say, the one to break the ice. He finally stops fidgeting around and focuses on you.

“I...I wanted to apologize,” he starts off, and you’re unmoving silence allows him to continue, “I realize how much of a complete dick I was to you…”

“What do you mean?” You ask. It’s not like he spread any dirty rumors about you or anything. He didn’t need to apologize for anything that you’re aware of. Maybe for leading you on, but you came to terms some time ago that maybe he didn’t owe you an explanation or perhaps you’d never get one. Yet here you both are.

“I used you,” he explains, now you’re confused, and he can see you’re not getting it entirely, which pains him. You didn’t think anything he did with you was wrong because you consented to it. It took two to tango, right?

Except it wasn’t like that at all and he wanted you to know how he strung you along all just for a quick fuck in the beginning and to cover his tracks he acted like he cared in getting to know you afterwards not realizing something purely good could come out of it for him. The confession wasn’t meant to hurt you again, but for you to realize your worth. He messed up with someone so special.

“I wasn’t lying when I said I remembered you from years before when you tripped in front of me,” there’s a small trace of happiness in the fond memory, “...and when I saw you in the crowd that night, fuck you looked so good and you still do…” he ended up a flustered mess after that small admission.

“Where is this going?” You ask hoping he’d get back on track and reveal the rest, trying to keep the fact he admitted an attraction to you in the back of your mind.

“Right...I’ll admit my ego got the best of me. The band was doing so well, everyone noticed us! I was getting attention from all kinds of people! I got hooked to different things,” suppose those articles were true then about him getting clean, you thought to yourself, “...it does get lonely on the road and I was so desperate for anyone,” oh you hoped and prayed he wouldn’t say what he was going to say next, but he does, “...and I knew there wouldn’t be that much effort on my part to get you to sleep with me.”

Great. Your friend was right then, and he was just like any other house name artist.

“Um...okay, that’s not something I was wanting to hear about myself,” you said after letting that sink in. Did you still appear to look easy?

“No, I’m sure it’s not, but when we were alone together everything was just easy-”

“Yeah, I got that. I’m easy!” You interrupt, and now you’re angry. As he’s trying to explain his actions, you started thinking about how mad and hurt you were when he started ghosting you. You couldn’t be upset about him getting a girlfriend, but the fact that he didn’t think he could continue even being your friend and instead just chose to ignore you was the better option was hella annoying.

“That’s not what I meant!” He says trying to justify his choice of words.

“Then how did you mean it?” You demand, and Bucky is a bit stunned with your new attitude. He foresaw that he would have a difficult time in explaining himself, but he didn’t think it’d be this hard dealing with how much his actions affected you.

“Everything was easy with you because you made it easy to feel,”

“I don’t know if I understand,” you say and attempt to get up, “...maybe this was a bad idea.”

“No, please. Let me finish,” Bucky is quick to get in front of you as he pleads for you to stay. You give him a slight nod and sit back down.

“Things with you were easy in a sense that being around you I was able to just be myself. I’ve never said those things to girls before you! I didn’t have to impress you with anything flashy. I even forgot I was some rockstar! You’re an incredible person, really-”

“I’m sorry, Bucky, but I just can’t,” you say, hating to interrupt him again, but you’re not ready to hear any of this, “...none of this still doesn’t sound right. It was just one night and then how do you explain just ghosting me the moment you get a supermodel girlfriend?” that last part came out unintentionally feisty but might as well let him know how you’d felt, “You couldn’t even be my friend when you were with her! I guess it was easy to just forget me too…”

Bucky lowers his head ashamed of how he handled that and just nods in acknowledgement of his actions, “you’re right. It doesn’t make sense, but what I feel is even harder to explain...”

“None of this accounts for her,” you demand. A part of you just wanted to know where she came from. How did it happen? Who asked who out? It wasn’t important information to know about, but the urge of human curiosity was large.

“She wasn’t even my idea,” he muttered, not really wanting to talk about her.

“What?” You ask.

“Getting with her was the label’s idea,” he admits, hating he was coerced into the idea of an on-screen relationship.

You scoff at the stupidity of fake relationships in the Entertainment industry. Why did people get their rocks off over it? Were OTPs really that a big deal? Are people so bored with their own lives that they have to push corporate into bringing two people who don't have feelings for each other together? However, Bucky thinks you don’t believe him and given how little you developed in trusting him with things, he’s not entirely wrong.

“I know it was a dumb thing to agree to and it’s one of the horrors working in this business, but I know now I should’ve just been forward with you,” Bucky says, voice still riddled begging for forgiveness.

“Why couldn’t you then?” You interrogate and notice the creases of distress on his face soften. “If I made it so easy to feel, then why wasn’t it just that to tell me the truth?”

“I-I don’t know,” he replies.

“Yes, you do,” you retort, and pretend you’re going to leave, but by doing so you know it’ll only get him to spill the beans quicker.

“I was scared!” He admits, stepping in front of you and keeping you still in your place on the end of the bed.

“Scared? Of what? Me?” You ask incredulously looking up at him.

“Yes!” He says and kneels down in front of you. “You’re so perfect! You’re real! You don’t treat me like I’m some celebrity. You didn’t even participate when people started cancelling me or whatever! You could’ve and you had every right to expose me, but you didn’t!” Your act did the trick, because the words just kept coming out of Bucky.

“I’m so sorry for ignoring you, for not telling you I was with her, but the more I got to know you, a part of me got really scared that I couldn’t keep being the kind of man you deserved because of my problems,” by this point, Bucky has placed both his hands on either side of you, his arms trapping you, “...trust me, I had a lot of time to think about everything I did wrong and what harm my reckless lifestyle has on others…I just feared it was already too late, but the one thing that I always thought about that helped me get through it was the lone night I had with you. I was so happy! I wanted that again...I had to get back to that, so I invited you back to try,” you didn’t even realize how close his face was to yours. He looked so torn and you hated seeing him like that, but there was nothing you could say that could fix things right now.

Bucky now felt vulnerable and almost pathetic. Just because he wanted another shot of happiness, and with you of all people, what made it okay for him to think you wanted to try again? You weren’t so certain of what you wanted with him anymore.

“Wow,” is all you give. You’re not sure what more you could add. After all that, he actually liked you? Were you still sure you weren’t living in some fanfic world? You needed some time to think about that and much to Bucky’s expectations, you weren’t going to come to a conclusion before you left this room tonight.

“Is there anything else you want to say?” You offer him the floor, and he gets it. You’re not going to say anything particular to his confession, at least not now. He’s not upset at all. It was a lot to take in. He had time to think, and he had to respect the time you’d need now.

He nods and backs away, realizing the close proximity, “just one question,” you nod this time and let him ask, “do you regret it?”

You know what he’s referring to, sleeping with him, the sex tape, the countless conversations, meeting with him right now - everything.

“No,” you answer honestly.

He lets out a weak smile, looking down sheepishly and adds, “I’ve never done anything like this with anyone before, I promise.”

He could promise and swear up and down all he’d like, but how could you be really sure? The only response you could give him is a small, neutral hum in acknowledgement.

Bucky knew this conversation wasn’t going to go as he had hoped. He really didn’t have a plan, he just really wanted to see you again. He goes silent and you know at this point, everything was all laid out. Time would tell the rest if this was worth saving.

“I can forgive you. I know I can because in a way part of moving on allows one to do so but completing a session or doing time in rehab doesn’t really prove anything,” you said brutally honest with him, he looks up at you almost defeated and just waiting for the final blow.

“You said a lot of promising things back then and you said a lot more tonight,” you add on, and gently begin to remove his hands from the spots either side of you to let you free, and get up to head out, however not with one more thing he could reflect on, also giving him hope, “...you need to show you’ve really changed,” then the conversation was over.

In some ways, these events needed to happen. He had to hit rock bottom to learn from his mistakes and kick out the bad habit. He knew now that he had to work hard to give you a reason to trust him and maybe even in the long run be with him.

On the other hand, you had to go through this whole thing in order to not base your happiness on someone else. You could be happy on your own and open enough to be with someone that wasn’t Bucky. 

For the next few months, to your surprise, Bucky had actually made an effort to keep in touch with you. It wasn’t overbearing and he minded your space as well as he could from a distance, given that he was still busy with the band and other duties that came with his status.

While at times he could be flirty, you learned it was part of his charm. Your friend wasn’t entirely thrilled when you’d admitted to her that you visited Bucky that night. You might’ve not shown it, but she knew how much his past actions affected you. Granted it did its job in teaching you a lesson and in return allowed you to be more confident and to not take anyone’s bullshit, she’d be damned if Bucky tried to pull another act like that around you again.

By now, you were comfortable enough with him to even tell him about random dates you’d gone on; none proving to be long-term, but it was nice to confide in someone else other than your best friend and get an opinion from a male perspective.

You weren’t going to lie, there was a part of you that still liked Bucky more than a friend, but you weren’t sure when it was okay to willingly go all in again with him. Sure, you’d given him another chance, but just how low could people really go to get what they wanted? Some people could just be really manipulative, and you weren’t wanting to ruin what you’ve both rebuilt for yourselves. Either way, you’d be happy with him in your life even as a friend, which is how it could’ve gone if he’d been honest from the get-go.

The year was coming to a close and you’re at your job’s annual Christmas party. You’d managed to convince your friend to be your plus one, but she claimed she didn’t need bribery because your company always ordered outstanding catering and who in their right mind would turn down free food anyways?

Aside from pretending you were having a great time talking to your co-workers, most of which whom you barely spoke to at the office and as faux-friendly as they were tonight, you felt stupid for glancing at your phone every now and then hoping to get a message from Bucky. He’d been keeping you entertained the first half of the party until he just stopped responding.

Your friend had ditched you to take advantage of the open bar several minutes ago, so you were sitting at a table alone trying not to look pathetic. You started thinking of when an appropriate time would be to leave when the Market Manager of your job took the mic. Too late, you thought to yourself and decided to get comfortable in your seat and listened to what cheesy Holiday speech they had to give, but what you hadn’t expected was a surprise guest.  

“What the hell?” You said to yourself as you watched Bucky, Steve and Sam shake hands with one of your bosses before settling into what would appear as an acoustic performance.

How’d they manage to get in contact with your job? Who gave them the in? Bucky knew what you did for a living, but you never stayed on that subject long enough to think much about it. Then your friend slides into the empty seat next to you, a drink in one hand and a knowingly smirk on her lips, one that suggests she was definitely in on this act. You didn’t realize how long you’d been staring at her with a stupid look of disbelief all over your face until your name is echoed throughout the speakers.

It snaps you out of your trance and you focus your attention to Bucky on stage, a huge smile on his face. All formalities set aside, he highlights you and your friendship before jumping into their new single, which was widely popular right now. Normally, you weren’t one to take compliments easily, not used to so much attention, but the whole world disappeared with Bucky.

Once their little set was over, the majority of your colleagues enjoyed the performance and asked for photos, to which the guys were more than happy to appease to. Your friend had managed to escape your clutches once more, this time abandoning you for the dessert table. You’re not alone for long as Bucky occupies the seat left open next to you. You look around your surroundings, hoping there aren’t any more surprises in store, and practically attack him with a big hug.

Bucky’s chuckle is muffled, his face buried in your hair, as he wraps his arms around you to return the gesture. When you pull away, you’re almost left speechless, but you’re dying to know how he managed to get here. He was technically still on tour and this was not one of the passing by cities.

“How?” You ask.

“Hi to you too,” he said with a cheeky grin, to which you playfully slap his arm, and he responds with your friend’s name. He explained how he’d wanted to see you and how much he had to grovel for your friend to trust him. She’d helped him arrange a meeting with your boss, who turned out to be a huge fan of The Avengers, and even sneak them inside the building all under your nose. She wasn’t easy to persuade, but if she was convinced enough to work with Bucky on anything then you knew this meant something more.  

The initial notion of wanting to leave the party immediately vanished and you wanted nothing more than to just sit there in Bucky’s company all night. Steve and Sam greeted you and you never realized that this was actually the first time meeting them formally and not outside of a venue. They weren’t rockstars to you any more than you were just a fan to them. They were Bucky’s friends, of course he’d confined to them on his end as much as you did with yours.

At some point they had excused themselves to catch the last flight headed back to Brooklyn, but Bucky had decided to stay longer. When it was time to leave, you found out Bucky hadn’t planned long enough to where he would stay the night in your city. The original plan was to fly back home with the guys and pick up on the remainder of the tour. They had a few days off, but it was just a few days shy of ending, and he couldn’t wait that long to see you.

It’s funny how life works because this time you’re the one inviting him to your place. You weren’t going to blame it on the open bar or how late it was or the underlying tension that was surrounding you two, but one thing was certain, it was mutual, and you both weren’t going to deny the attraction any longer.

You’d missed the weight of Bucky’s body on yours more than you’d realized as your hands held his face, keeping his lips attached to yours. You could taste the remnants of the unfinished drink he’d abandoned at the coffee table on his tongue. Bucky’s hands hiked your leg over his waist to get you to lie flat on your couch.

You’re the first to attempt to remove clothing by popping open the buttons of his button-up shirt before completely ridding of the item leaving him in his thin undershirt. You feel his hands slide up from your hips along your back as they dig into the minimal space the arch of your back had created for him to slowly unzip the back of your dress. With your lips both still attached, you manage to sit up, your dress falling down and bunching at the waist in the process, exposing your breasts. He couldn’t have picked a more perfect time to see you in an outfit that would not work with a bra.

Bucky curses breathlessly when he pulls his lips away from yours for a quick breather, but in the process, he takes a peek at your half naked body. You can tell he’s just itching to touch you and you take the commanding lead and place his hands on you. The atmosphere grows thicker, him kneading your breasts, you smash your lips on his in a sloppy lock.

You push Bucky down on his end of the couch and manage to kick your loose dress all the way down your legs and off your body. Bucky’s hands travel down to the curve of your ass before he grabs a handful of flesh, causing you to moan into the kiss. Your hands rake through his styled hair, the product he used unstiffening and his hair falls limp in your grasps.

Bucky’s hands started to aid your hips in moving roughly against his clothed member, desperate to relieve some friction, and you internally blushed remembering how thick he was, how full it felt to have his cock stuffed inside of you. You didn’t remain celibate during the hiatus of your relationship, you both had urges, but Bucky had really ruined others that came after him.

Your lips drifted down Bucky’s body, kissing at the skin of his chest in the pattern following the swoop-line seam of the undershirt that he was still wearing. You skipped the expanse of his toned stomach, until you’re met with the small amount of skin that peeked between his bottoms and hem of his undershirt. You slightly lift the material up and place small pecks at his lower abdomen, which causes a low groan to rumble in Bucky’s throat.

Your fingers deftly unbuckle his belt and unbutton his pants, with the zipper pulled apart, you’re marveling at the imprint of his hard cock, already twitching and staining his boxers. You manage to break your gaze and look up at Bucky, who is desperately pleading with you to proceed. Your eyes never leave his as you lower your head closer to his member, tongue darting out to the dark spot of his boxers, tasting the precum.

The contact causes him to squirm and lips form in a tight line. You pull down his pants and agonizingly peel off his boxers slowly, dragging it down to his thighs, just enough to expose him enough for you to work with before you wrap a hand around his length. Bucky’s upper body is supported by his bent elbows so he could watch you.

You kiss the tip of his leaking cock, a small string of his precum sticking to your lips when you pull back, to which you run your tongue over. Bucky’s head falls back just in time when your lips enclose the head, tongue twirling around the ridge and teasingly at the slit and loving the sound of his breath getting caught in his throat. You inch your mouth down his length and your vacant hand gets quick to work on what you’re not able to intake while the other runs up his exposed abdomen, your fingers curling in and lightly scratching down as it runs down to massage one of his thighs. You can feel the muscle in his thigh flex at your touch the more your head bobs up and down on him.  

A plethora of curses spew from his mouth, but the rush of sucking his cock, the gurgling of your spit mixed with his precum and occasional choking noise when your throat contracts around him, is all you can hear from your perspective. When you part from his member, you’re breathing intensifies, desperate for more air to enter your system, eyes slightly watering, lips swollen, your hand lazily slathering the wetness all over him.

“You’re so good at that,” Bucky comments and he finally manages to pick his head back up to look at you. He reaches forward to swipe at the mess on the corner of your chin, but you’re hungry for more, and you move your head to the side to suck on his thumb, eyes closed as you hum at the taste of his skin and essence.

Your soft tongue running against the pad of his somewhat calloused thumb, it pops lightly when you release the digit, a small, devious smile on your lips as you scoot away to lie on the other end of the couch. He’s almost at aghast by this, but even back then you were just always full of surprises around him and he wasn’t going to deny the appeal of your sexual allure.

Bucky is quick to get to your side, completely riding himself off the rest of his clothes - the undershirt, pants and boxers - he had dressed to impress but right now nothing more than but overdressed. He gently parts your legs, kissing up your calves and thighs, until settles between them, you can feel his warm breath fanning against your scantily covered core.

Unlike last time, you’re not afraid to watch him and he sends you a knowingly wink, quickly ascending up to give you a sweet kiss, while his fingers slip inside your panties and between your lips. Your hips eagerly thrust upwards hoping his fingers slip in.

“Baby, we got all night,” he says cradling your face in his other hand. You let out a small whine, but regardless attempt to be patient. Bucky studies your face, mesmerized by every structure and unique feature, then what felt like an eternity, but in reality, was only a few seconds, he sinks a finger inside your wet pussy.

As soon as the gasp leaves your lips, his lips swoop in and tongue instantly dipping in search of yours. The heated kiss only heightens the sensation in the pit of your stomach, your hips losing control and every buck up into his hand, your clit rubs up against his palm, invigorating it. The curl of his finger, lightly probs at the right spot inside you, you uncontrollably squeal against his lips, with a hand against his chest you gently push his body away from yours.

“Oh my God! Fuck, Bucky…” you say with your head tilting back to the curve of the couch’s arm. You feel Bucky’s lips kiss and suck at your exposed neck as his fingers continue their handy work, the lewd noises causing your eyes to roll back.

His lips find their way next to your ear, gently nipping at it, and you could just drown at the sound of his husky breathing and filthy words. “Can I taste you?” He asks. You’re not sure why he was asking, you’d want nothing less. You nod almost instantaneously before allowing him to remove your panties.  

Bucky’s hungry eyes remain fixated on your glistening core, “oh, I missed this pussy,” he comments before his tongue fondles the lips. He has a hand lying flat against one of your legs, pressed on the couch to keep them spread apart, the other blocked by his body. His routine contrasts his old with how his tongue moves in slow and calculated laps. His mouth was very talented, given whatever style he chose to play.

You’re tethering on an orgasm and Bucky wanted nothing more than to watch you come undone for him. Bucky’s fingers and tongue work in tandem and fast to help you reach a climax.

“You’re close, aren’t you?” Bucky manages to ask in between, eyes peering up at you. You don’t actually answer because you can’t concentrate from the pleasure he’s bestowing and the impending release. “Good. I want you to cum. I want all this pussy has to give,” his voice hitting a different low, even his fucking voice was so sexy. Your hands clutch on fistfuls of the couch cushions when you feel the first wave of pleasure wash over your body, your hips stilled in place as Bucky laps up at your arousal.

“The sweetest thing ever,” Bucky mutters mostly to himself, but hearing that comment only feeds your ego, which never is a bad thing in an intimate setting. Your chest heaves up and down from the impact. Just as Bucky is about to crawl back up to parallel, you stop him with a foot at his chest. He grabs your small foot in his hand and blinks at your resistance.

“Sit back,” you command. He drops your foot and watches as your body maneuvers around to climb over his. He didn’t even realize his body had complied to your demand, absolutely hypnotized by you.

You lean in for a deep kiss, one that leaves his brain a mush, yours too almost that you have to steady yourself with one hand on the couch armrest. You reach a hand down between your bodies and grab a hold of his hard cock. Your fingers tracing along the vein before you start rubbing his head through your sensitive, wet folds. Bucky’s hands lay lightly on your hips, trying with all his might to not force you to take him all the way in. A large part of him liked this dominant side of you. There was so much about you he was dying to unearth.

“Baby, please…” he begins pleading as you barely press the tip of his cock just at your entrance before you slowly lower your body down to engulf his entire length. You sit still once you’re sure you’ve bottomed out, not noticing Bucky’s fingers digging into your hips, sure enough to leave crescent marks and tiny bruises.

Bucky’s face is buried in your neck, your cheek pressed against the top of his head, lost in the mop of dark hair. You feel his cock twitch inside of you causing your hips to ground on his. He was in so deep, you weren’t sure how long you were going to last in this position, but you’d be damned if you denied it.

You start with slow swivels before sliding back and forth on his cock. Bucky’s hands released their death grip from your hips, one travelled to the front to grope at your breasts while the other supported your body settling itself on the small of your back. Your hands set themselves on the back of the couch on either side of his head, using it as leverage to ground down harder on him.

“Mm, I missed fucking this big cock,” you lean down to whisper right in his ear, “you’re so deep, Bucky.”

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he spits out curse after curse at your dirty words. “You gonna cum on this big cock, hmm?” He asks. The question comes as a challenge and you weren’t ready to give up the ropes to him.

“Yeah, is this big cock gonna cum inside this tight pussy?” You counter the question, speeding up your gyrations until you start to feel the burn in your thighs and stomach begin to twist. He lets out a low, long growl, his eyes lulling shut and head falling back against the couch, ready to succumb to euphoria.

“No,” you say, suddenly ceasing all movements to pull at his hair. The sharp pain in his scalp causes his eyes to snap open and look up at you. “Keep your eyes on me,” you command much like how he did with you the first time. You watch him swallow the knot in his throat and give him a wicked smile before picking back up where you left off.

Your hands are sprawled on his sweaty chest as you bounce up and down his length. Bucky’s senses are on overdrive, the way your pussy naturally hugs his cock, walls squeezing occasionally, your breasts swaying right in front of him, your skin shining from the layer of sweat coating your body, and the look of immense pleasure written all over your face because of him.

“Baby, I’m gonna cum,” he says over and over as some form of warning, hoping you’re not far behind.

The way his face contorted in ecstasy, lips parted, sweat building up on his forehead, the tip of his cock stabbing at your sweet spot, you were about to cum too. His words become a muffled mess when you attempt to silence him with a bruising kiss just as you reach your high, pussy clenching tight around his cock milking him of everything he’s got. Each spurt of his hot cum that shoots inside you causes your hips to stutter in response. Bucky attempts to keep them at bay with a hand pressed against your back, keeping your body close to him and in the process also instilling his seed is rooted deep inside of you.

“God...damn,” Bucky says short of breath when your body lies limp against his. Your arms are wrapped around his neck, you haven’t attempted to move just yet as you both sat there with his cock still buried in. When you manage to sit up, you stare back at Bucky with tired eyes, but there’s a smile on both your faces. It only slightly falters at his next words.

“I love you,” he says earnestly. Thankfully your silence doesn’t bother him, “...you don’t have to say it back,” he adds, “I just wanted you to know. You’re so special,” he proclaims and your heart leaps at the very admission. You only nod for now but give him another reassuring smile because in time you knew you could allow yourself to love Bucky and be loved by him in return. It wasn’t a conventional meeting, but this was your life, not everyone else's.

When you finally manage to pull yourself off his cock, it slips out fluidly with a trail of his cum following in suit. You knew you’d curse yourself later on, but you’re both too tired to clean the mess right now. The pair of you settle into a lying position, facing one another, encased in each other’s arms. It’s a moment of bliss as you both just lie there, his eyes closed and a smile seemingly permanently etched on his face, only around you.  

“Hey Bucky,” you pipe up breaking the silence. He hums in response, “I want to know something...” you start out with.

“Anything,” he says, eyes still closed, his hand running up and down your arm, an indicator that he’s present and listening.

“What happened between you two?” Curiosity getting the best of you once more, you’re hoping this doesn’t ruin the moment, but you had to know. What went wrong? Besides, if this was going to work, he was going to have to be honest.

“Uh, she saw something on my phone…” he said cautiously, “...that involved you.” Your eyes widen at that. It couldn’t have been the sex tape you hoped.

“Bucky, no!” You gasp, sitting up and just hoping he doesn’t confirm it.

“Relax!” He says pulling you back down with him, “She was psycho. She went through my texts and saw some of the photos we used to send to each other. She must’ve thought they were recent.” He explains like it was no big deal.

Your heart stops racing slightly, you’re a bit relieved that she didn’t go as far as posting any of the photos on the Internet. You knew you were risking it by sexting with Bucky, but what was that saying? Hell hath no fury…and in a blind rage, she lashed out only on Bucky, but if she was a psycho, who knows what else she might’ve found on Bucky’s phone.

“Bucky?” you figure you might as well know now.

“Yeah…”

“What did you do with that sex tape?” You’d been dying to know if it was safely stored away or if maybe he even still watched it or just deleted it.

A big toothy grin spreads across his lips, his pearly whites on full display as he laughs at the question before he reaches over to the table next to the couch, where his cell phone rested on.

“Want to make a sequel?” He asks suggestively with a smirk on his lips and waving his phone at you, to which you playfully attempt to snatch from his grasp. He’s too quick, but nonetheless he replaces the phone in its original spot before focusing his attention on you alone.

“You don’t think this is all weird?” He questions almost hesitantly while tracing the outline of your jaw delicately. You’re not thinking that at all. You’d both been through a lot during the last few years that the only thing that was normal now was what you both had.

You shake your head in response, too tired for words, and drowning in the blissful moment. Bucky nods before declaring, “good because you make so happy,” then ending the night with sweet kisses. 

“Hey, it’s me. I know you’re busy at the studio today...” you start, cell phone pressed against your ear. You’re attempting to leave a voicemail to your boyfriend, who was expecting your arrival later that day, “...but I just wanted to assure you that this isn’t weird, and I can’t wait to see you...I love you, Bucky,” you finish up the message and stuff the device into your bag just in time to hear the voice of the airline staff making the pre-boarding announcements booming loudly from the speakers.  

Now boarding Group B for flight #107 to JFK Airport...final destination Brooklyn, New York.

A/N: We’ve been in quarantine for so long, I don’t remember how airport announcements are like anymore and I was only in Brooklyn last Spring…RIP to the good times.

A happy ending was weird to write in the end and I actually don’t like this particular Bucky so it could’ve gone really bad, but I said to myself, no, not this time, I can do what the title says and let them be just that - happy. I too can be happy if you give this a like, reblog or comment! Thanks for reading!  

[inevitably-johnlocked]

I liked how Clint went LARPing, plus I found it realistic that he has a hearing aid now

**SPOILERS FOR HAWKEYE S1 E1&2 BELOW CUT**

I LOVED both of those things about the show!!!!! I think a lot of the reason I love this show already is because it is grounded and the leads are SO relatable. Kate is all of us, just a fan who wants to meet and spend time with and learn from her idol. Clint is just a regular man with no super-powers (which in the MCU is uncommon for the heroes) who just happened to have a skill-set that anyone could attain and SHIELD found useful, and thinks himself as no-one special. Him going deaf is a COMPLETELY believable arc for his character... I LOVE how realistic his character is. I would have been be surprised if he DIDN'T get any sort of trauma from his escapades. Him having PTSD? COMPLETELY BELIEVABLE after countless fights, losing his family to the snap, murdering countless people, losing his best friend, fighting Thanos, losing his hearing, dealing with his self-deprecation and possible depression, AND THEN not having any time to process all of it so he just... pretends everything is okay.

And I LOVE that his wife is COMPLETELY in-the-know about his life. It's a nice switch on the "partner doesn't know about your secret life" thing. Such a breath of fresh air.

Clint is so relatable because he's just TIRED and just wants to live a quiet life with the people he loves. He just wants to be DONE. I hope this story focuses a lot on not only him "passing the torch" and being a mentor / father figure for Kate, but I hope they also deal with his mental health AND coping with his hearing loss in a positive way that normalizes his issues. It's a big ask from Disney, but I remain hopeful.

And him begrudgingly LARPing to get his suit back, to me, foreshadows what kind of character he will be in this series: Learning to just... enjoy his life again. I would LOVE for this series to end with him and Grills going back to LARP every weekend. I think that would also play well into Kate's mentioning of him needing to "sincerely improve his image", and I think that's a great way to do it. Seems rather pointless to focus so much on the LARPing aspect in E2 if it wasn't going to be brought back up later.

I've LOVED Clint since his first appearance, and I LOVE that they're actually touching on the fact that they did his character dirty, like this show is an apology to the character. He EARNED his own show. I'd have loved him to have his own movie, but I think this series will inevitably be my fave one out of all the D+ shows this year. If it finishes stronger than any of the others (I've found, aside from FatWS, the other shows have BLEH endings).

I think the problem reviewers are having is that they're EXPECTING movie-quality action and story in a limited-series TV show, and they already go into it with a bias of not liking Clint/Hawkeye. Like... I LOVE the silliness of this show. I've seen reviewers who are supposedly big comic nerds bitch about the tracksuit mafia "being too dumb"........ IT'S A FUCKING COMIC SHOW, get over yourselves. I, for one, welcome the tone shift from the other shows. What makes this show so funny to me is that Jeremy plays Clint so deadpan amidst the chaos around him, which i find bloody hilarious. It's gonna be a great "Christmas" "movie" to watch every year.

I don't want to hold this show up TOO high just yet, like I did with Loki and was inevitably disappointed, but here's hoping it will have a solid finish as a nice bookend to WandaVision; Wanda didn't cope with the loss of her partner and her kids at all, I'm hoping Clint learns to deal with his PTSD and atone for his past and will remain a father figure for Kate.

Clint just going around adopting all the Young Avengers is my dream, but we'll see, hahah.

[furashuban]

As High As The Moon Above

The first work so far of a Hilda AU I’ve written centered around Kaisa and Johanna but as childhood friends (which I’ve titled the Spellbound AU)!  Hope ya’ll enjoy!

Pairing: Sketchbook Ship (Kaisanna)

Words: 5.5k

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33556615/chapters/83380660

Summary: Kaisa must practice casting a new spell before her next training session with her teacher, Tildy. In response, her best friend Johanna, unbeknownst that Kaisa is training to become a witch, offers to take her along on a camping trip outside the wall of Trolberg to help her concentrate.

A cart of books strolled and squeaked through the halls of the Trolberg library. The keeper of the books went about their business reshelving heaps upon heaps of returned literature, glimpsing every aisle they passed with most having little to no visitors browsing the shelves. They eventually spot a girl in a black cardigan and purple dress, complimented by her short black hair, muttering as she struggled to return a single book into a column two spaces above her head. The librarian lets go of the cart to approach the tiptoeing visitor.

 “I can help with that, Kaisa,” they offered warmly. “Please, allow me.”

 “No, that’s okay.” The girl spoke in a heavy Nordic accent. “Almost got it…” She grunted again before successfully sliding her book through the shelf. “There.”

 The librarian noticed a stack of other books carried around Kaisa’s arm as she walked away to the next aisle. Thinking that she would turn down her assistance if she offered again, the librarian simply grinned and nodded, returning to her cart to reshelve on their own.

 Kaisa was now at the second floor with her books. One might think she was merely volunteering to aid in the librarian’s duties, but in truth, she spent half the day at the library to read as many books as she possibly could. Some were finished cover-to-cover, others she only read half way through, but promised to come back for until she was absorbed enough to borrow and reread them home; only in the library could she bring herself to finish a book in its entirety.

She made it to the end of the second floor’s hall where a bookshelf had a column within reach, as well as space between other books, which luckily for Kaisa was meant for all the books on her pile alone, and slid every book into it at once before heaving a sigh of relief.

 Onto the next stack she could gather, thinking to herself. But out of nowhere, a feeling of suspicion coincided with her imagination and stood frozen before the bookshelf. Kaisa began pulling out books slightly and placing them back a second after. She hummed, now peering behind the gap between the walls and bookcase and ran her hand through the edges, all the while someone new was walking towards her direction.

 “…Oh, there you are!” another person’s voice spoke jubilantly behind her. “Almost thought you left already, been looking everywhere for you.”

 Kaisa turned around; the voice was all too familiar. In front of her was a girl the same age as she was, brown hair that tied into a ponytail and wearing a Sparrow Scout uniform. She smiled as she stood, bringing excitement to Kaisa’s heart.

 “You’re back from your badge work!” her whole face lit up.

 “Yep! Just earned my Geology Badge today, so that’s one more to my sash and for the ceremony.” The Sparrow Scout explained proudly.

 “Stolt över dig, Johanna.” Kaisa applauded. “And the badge ceremony is soon, right?”

 “Well, it’s only a month from now.” Johanna pointed out. “Actually, I was hoping you would be able to come and attend, if you won’t be busy, of course.”

 Kaisa reached for the brunette’s hand and held it up with both her palms. “I would not miss it for anything.” She guaranteed excitedly, making her best friend blush and glance away overjoyed.

 “…So, um, what have you been up to?” Johanna asked. “…apart from reading that is.”

 “I was looking for secret doors in the library.” Kaisa explained, turning back to the bookshelf. “There must be whole other rooms with more books hidden in the shelves somehow.”

 Johanna walked closer to the colossal shelf of literature and helped inspect with Kaisa. “Have you tried pulling every book like it was a lever?” she suggested, also wanting to be inquisitive of rooms behind the library walls.

 “Almost all of them, yes.” Kaisa nodded. “Do you think this might be the wrong shelf?”

 “Personally, the library is already kinda big on its own. It’ll take ages to find where the right one is.” Johanna admitted. “But hey, if we don’t find them, you can always add them when you become the future librarian.”

 “You know…” Kaisa turned back to Johanna. “That’s exactly what I’ll do…!”

 Johanna had known Kaisa’s dreams of being the keeper of books for as long as she could remember. She enjoyed visiting the Trolberg library just as much as anyone else, but she never met anybody who treated it like it was their own home the same way Kaisa did. One could write a fairytale of a girl who lived here, she thought at one point, and wanted to be the protagonist adventurer who would come to befriend her. That idea came back to her briefly as she faced an enthusiastic Kaisa, and for that reason, she giggled quietly; the fairytale might actually be true.

 Before the two girls could continue their conversation, a figure stood over and caught their attention. They looked up on a woman suiting a long, sophisticated gray dress and a decorative hat reminiscent to what witch’s wear.

 “Oh, hello Arch Sorcer…I MEAN Tildy…” Kaisa stammered. “What brings you here…?”

 The woman smiled warmly at the girl to reassure her tension. “Nothing much, my dear.” She spoke in a gentle tone. “Just came looking for a book to bring home and all.”

 She peeped over the closest bookshelf and quickly skimmed through it before pulling out a novel that read The Skeleton Whisperer on the cover. “Ah yes, this will do.” she said. “I suppose you’re here continuing extra work on your training.”

 “Yes, ma’am.” Kaisa gave a half smile. “I just finished, but I can continue if you insist that I do…”

 “No need to stress.” Tildy assured. “I know you’ve worked quite hard today. Catch your breath and continue your studies tomorrow.” She turned her attention to Johanna. “You and your friend deserve the time to respite.”

 The sorceress-in-secret kneeled down to Kaisa and whispered on her ear. “Also, I couldn’t help but overhear your suggestions on secret rooms,” she continued. “I think it’s a great idea. We’ll talk about it with the Committee next time we head down the tower.”

 And with her borrowed book, the mysterious woman walked onwards. “Adieu, children.” She said before making her way downstairs with her borrowed book.

 “See you soon madame Pilqu…Tildy, I mean.” Kaisa also bid farewell.

 “I thought you were just here waiting before we could hang out.” Johanna expressed.

 “I was.” retorted Kaisa. “But I tried catching up with some studies, too, for when I meet with Tildy again.”

 “Who was she anyway?” asked Johanna. “She seemed very…enigmatic, sort of, but sweet.”

 “She’s my teacher.” Kaisa answered. “I took up her apprenticeship long ago, but I’m not allowed to talk about it too much...”

 Johanna could fathom; never once had Kaisa talked about any apprenticeship before. She now looked distressed once she saw her teacher was here, stroking down her locks to the point her bangs nearly covered her eyes. The Sparrow Scout could feel her frown forming by seeing Kaisa’s own, now wishing to know much about this part of her friend’s life she had not known previously.

 “Do you not get along with her, Kaisa?” asked Johanna.

 “Oh, she’s actually really nice to me, kind of like my farmor.” she replied. “It’s just that…Well, I don’t know…” she paused, squirming from hesitation. She said it herself, she was not allowed to talk about her sessions with Tildy, whether it was what she was being taught or what she was even learning to become. But she knew Johanna will be left with loads of questions if she did not reveal much about her apprenticeship starting now.

 Kaisa sighed, maybe she did not have to reveal a lot of the truth to Johanna if she really wanted to explain her vexation. “So, look, there’s this sort of… “routine” we’ll call it, that Tildy is letting me practice until next week.” she continued. “As usual, I need to prepare by studying a lot first, but it’s hard to actually practice where I live. There’s not enough privacy to do the routine with my mum around, and if I don’t get it right when I meet Tildy, well, I’m afraid I’ll disappoint her…”

 Almost instantly, Johanna brainstormed the perfect solution to Kaisa’s ordeal. “Wait a sec, Kaisa, I know exactly how you can practice.” she beamed. “But the catch is, I might have to accompany you the whole time.”

 “What do you mean?” Kaisa asked.

 “I’ll be going camping this weekend!” clarified Johanna. “My parents allowed me to go so I can prepare for my camping badge, but what they don’t know is that I plan to settle outside the walls.” she extended her hand and swung it across. “I’m going as far away from the city as I can, remote into the wilderness, and maybe just close enough to my grandad’s old house if I’m lucky. And to top it off, you can come with me!”

 Kaisa’s face went white. “So you’re saying I should I join you…in going outside the walls?”

 “Yep, exactly!” Johanna expressed. “Think about it, there will still be time to prepare and see your teacher after you’re done practicing in the trip, and no one else can find you practicing in the wilderness. Besides, it’ll be fun with just you and me in the outdoors!”

 “Oh, I don’t know, Johanna…” Kaisa faltered. “I could…But it sounds a bit risky. And you would still be around when I start practicing, so that’s still a problem for me.”

 “Well, it’s no worries then,” the brunette reassured. “It was just worth the suggestion, but I understand.”

 A bit of quietness befell for the two girls. Kaisa glanced away and envisioned Johanna’s planned escapade outside the walls. Maybe letting her leave while being the only person to know about it was not such a good idea. Anything could happen in the wilderness, and Kaisa shuddered to think what harm would come to Johanna when she could have personally protected her the same way she would if they camped together.

 Kaisa returned to glancing at Johanna. “Promise me you will not tell anyone about my training…?” she said.

 Johanna gasped and smiled all at once. “Don’t worry, you can trust me.” she swore.  

 Kaisa grabbed hold of Johanna’s shoulders. “Johanna, no one can ever know about what I practice.” she continued with visible anxiety in her complexion. “I will get in trouble, and it will be worse for you, and something bad will happen to both of us somehow.” her voice became twice as strained and her grip slowly tightened. “Jag kan inte förlåta mig själv…!”

 “Kaisa, listen, it’s going to be okay…” Johanna’s tone was light and calm, guiding Kaisa’s hands to let go. “Look, I may not understand everything about your apprenticeship or your routine, but your teacher said no need to stress. Well, I’m saying it too.” She elevated her posture. “I promise as your best friend to not only help you, but to also never tell a single soul of our adventure, nor what I’ll see regarding your training during it.” She finalized with a Sparrow Scout’s salute.

 Kaisa grinned, feeling relief course through her mind. “Thank you.” She spoke softly.  “I’ll stop worrying now.”

 “Alright, let’s go then,” Johanna chuckled. “The park’s waiting for us. We’ll talk more about our trip there.”

  Every day went by slowly for Kaisa, but the weekend finally came for her and Johanna to head out into the wilderness. However, even the hours of the day went by just as slowly when she waited for the Sparrow Scout to come by her house. She was in her room filling her pack with her own essential needs that were instructed for her to bring in a camping trip. The only thing not packed in her luggage was her wand with an amethyst pommel, which she kept hidden under her cardigan.

 Whether it was going to be in the camping trip or when they were older, Kaisa knew that Johanna was going to discover she was a witch this whole time. The vague routine she said she hoped to practice was in fact a spell which of course involved her wand, an incantation and some magic. She trembled at the fact that there was no point of return in continuing to hide the truth from Johanna after the library visit. It was not just that there were punishments and compromises to a witch’s identity being revealed, but would her best friend still even want to be friends with someone who is capable of influencing the paranormal like her? Even if she had doubts of her own strength, would just being a witch-in-training be enough to scare her and split their friendship apart?

 It made Kaisa’s head spin and groan every time. If there was one thing she hoped to do as a witch, it was the power to predict other people’s choices and wishes, that way she would never have to endure the pain of overthinking about the company in her present or future ever again.

 Behind her, a knock on the window thudded twice. Kaisa quickly turned to see Johanna on the other side, no longer in her uniform but rather in a red and blue flannel above her overalls while her long, swaying hair spilled down her shoulders, waving her hand with the brightest smile on her face.

 “Ready for our camping trip, Kaisa?” she asked, her voice softened from the glass pane.

  Kaisa rushed to open the window. “Am I supposed to jump out through here?” she asked back, realizing Johanna did not stop by the front door.

 “Mhm.” The brunette nodded. “We’ll be much faster exiting the walls with this route.”

 “My mum’s not even home,” Kaisa pointed out. “It wouldn’t matter as much.”

 “Does she also know you’re heading out today?” Johanna diverted.

 “Yes, of course she does.” Kaisa answered.

 The brunette gestured to leave. “No time to waste, then.”

 Kaisa chuckled and shook her head in amusement. While hurrying to take her pack, Johanna made room for her to climb out and reclose the window, then rushing as fast as they could into the city’s portion of the forestland to avoid attention.

One of the exits out of the walls was just nearby, and the pair made it with nothing stopping their way. No traffic of vehicles driving into the city, no guards surveilling the entrance, just a mere traffic stop standing dormant on the gate to halt anyone from entering and exiting. Quickly, the two girls ran like the wind, hoping they were not spotted by Bellkeepers and citizens in general, finally ending up in the outside world to trek on their own.

 “We still have a long way to go,” Johanna said. “The perfect camping ground should be yonder…”

 Johanna continued walking a few paces, but Kaisa stopped to look back at the gate to Trolberg still nearby. She could feel her eyes welling up and her heart pounding out her chest as every second of her fear grew. Not often was she outside, but the wilderness was a whole new scenario that she wished she prepared more for. She did not want to leave for Johanna’s safety, but it was so easy for her to feel afraid in these surroundings. The Sparrow Scout herself looked back and noticed Kaisa frozen in uncertainty.

 “Hey, we’ll to be okay,” Johanna hurried to comfort her best friend. “I promise I’ll protect you. I won’t let anything hurt us in this trip.”

 Kaisa whimpered and stared back at Johanna. The anxiety etched on her face was contagious to the brunette and stung her heart, but she forced a smile and sneakily grabbed Kaisa’s hand.  

 “I’ll hold onto you the entire time we’re out here, that way we’ll both feel safe,” she entangled her fingers with Kaisa’s.

 Something sparkled in Kaisa’s eyes when she saw her hand grasping her best friend’s. She did not say a word, but a warm smile finally carved on her face and was enough for Johanna to know that she will be okay. The two pressed on, Johanna remained ahead while Kaisa was behind her, their hands still holding and keeping them close together.

 They hiked a chartless trail among the forestlands where the leaves changing color from summer to fall was ever so present, and the sunshine beamed infinite rays of its light through the trees trying to cover it. Kaisa was lost in thought, appreciating the view of the forest; she turned her head in all directions and felt a wave of reassurance with every view, made even more so with Johanna taking the lead as she hummed a tune. Seeing she was still holding Kaisa’s hand, the witch-in-secret recalled what Johanna had said earlier about protecting each other, something she could not stop thinking at all, but wanted to address as casually as she could.

 “Hey, Johanna…” Kaisa called.

 “Yes, Kaisa?”

 “Do you ever think humans could become familiars?”

 “You mean like the ones witches have?” Johanna asked back. “Well, I’m not sure… It would be pretty neat if they could, though.”

 “I agree,” Kaisa said. “It wouldn’t be common, but talking with a human familiar would sure feel like less work.”

 “Yep,” Johanna retorted. “Wait just a minute…” her tone grew wary.

 Kaisa gulped, feeling nervous of what Johanna intended to say. “Y-Yeah…?”

 “Imagine if one us became a witch’s familiar!” Johanna’s eyes lit up.

 The corner of Kaisa’s mouth quirked up and giggled, mostly out of relief. “You’d actually want to become one?”

 “Sure, why not?!” Johanna replied. “Think of all the cool spells you get to help a witch out on. If I was a familiar, I would never ever leave their side, constantly aiding them…kind of like I am with you!”

 The girl behind her blushed. “That’s good to know…” she whispered, hoping Johanna would not turn to see the glee on her reddened complexion.

  Miles and miles of trees and rivers were wandered through by the duo until they grew eventually tired. When both the sun and sky glowed a warm tinge of orange, the time came to build their camp, far away from the nearest residence of Trolberg.

 “Right, this should be good, I think,” said Johanna, letting go of her pack and rummaging through the compartment holding her tent. “Can you help build the tent with me, Kaisa?”

 “Can do.” Kaisa nodded.

 The land which Johanna and Kaisa settled in was a flat and grassy plane surrounded by the corners of the forest in a crescent shape. Beyond the breach of the crescent was more verdant terrain which stretched onto the large gray mountains ahead. It was the perfect camping ground to pick for those beginning to camp out on their own, and both Johanna and Kaisa wasted no time hoisting their tent cloth and holding it together with ropes, stakes and rods.

 Having practiced building a tent back home and during Sparrow Scout activities, along with having Kaisa’s assistance, Johanna finished constructing the tent for the two before the sun was even down.

 “Don’t worry, it will be more comfortable on the inside than it looks on the outside.” Johanna spoke, wiping away a drop sweat on her head.

 “I think it looks comfy already.” Kaisa said. “Well done!”

 “Couldn’t have done it without your help, though.” She pulled Kaisa closer to her, making her chuckle.

 Their belongings and sleeping bags were settled in their tent, and a bonfire was built by Johanna with foliage and twigs to give them warmth. It was as though her retreat needed for her camping badge had already happened if one could realize the adeptness of which she put together the camp, but her days as a Sparrow Scout had in fact prepared her for fun, spontaneous trips in the wilderness.

 Until the sky totally darkened, the two kept themselves busy with conversations of the week they had after seeing each other in the library, which new books they have read, and enjoyed cups of hot cocoa from a tin canister Johanna packed along. With all the goings-on being enjoyed since they left Trolberg, Kaisa almost forgot that she intended to continue her witch training while she was camping with the brunette. The scene in the tent surrounded by the orange light of the lantern, filling the air with laughter and merriment, was all Kaisa and Johanna could ever hope to cherish together, but it was best that the witch-in-secret began her training as soon as she could.

 “Okay, Johanna, I should probably start now.” Kaisa said, rising from her spot in the tent.

 “Alright, good luck!” Johanna cheered. “If anything bad happens, shout as loud as you can to call me.”

 Kaisa stepped out of the tent. Immediately, another wave of fear coursed through her mind and made her quiver in place by the tent’s entrance. She was overthinking once more; what if a Troll was out and near to the camp? What if there was a Barghest on the run? Every monster from every folklore that she had ever read could be out to harm her and Johanna in this hour. She withdrew her wand from her cardigan and clenched it tightly with both hands. Kaisa reminded herself that even if danger was nearby, she would be first to protect Johanna like she hoped she would, and Johanna will do the same if she herself was threatened.

 She took small steps away from the tent, far enough that Johanna would not notice any magic ensuing. A full moon was rising, and Kaisa looked up. It captivated her, and her ability to use magic should be as strong as ever, she thought.

Taking a deep breath, it was time for the levitation spell.

 “Bara fokusera…” she spoke to herself softly. “Gå så högt som månen ovan….”

 Soon, she closed her eyes and opened her palm, holding it upwards by her chest. The tip of her wand glowed a purple spec of light and atop her palm, then twirled it in circles over and over. She whispered an incantation that Tildy taught her, being just one sentence of incomprehensible words to non-witches, and repeated it again until the whole spell was set in motion. As the wand circled more and more, sparkles exuded out from nowhere until a purple aura sheathed the outlines of her physique.

 “As high as the moon above…” she whispered.

 Suddenly, Johanna exited the tent to sit by the campfire. Kaisa was out of sight, but the brunette did not plan on finding her no matter how much she wanted to see this “routine” she was practicing. The concentration and privacy which her best friend said she lacked was all that mattered to Johanna. She spread her hands around the warmth of the blaze, but even before she could fully respite, she heard the leaves rustle in the forestland ahead. The brunette looked up and squinted at nothing but silhouettes and darkness.

 Leaning in a bit forward, she finally realized what was apparently coming forward. It was a large, bulky figure; its eye glowing in a nearly strong luminosity of white. Johanna’s heart was racing, there was no way it could be what she thought it was. But as the figure revealed more of itself among the forestland, it was indeed the worst possible thing for the camping trip: a large Troll rummaging through the wilderness.

 Johanna yelped, but quickly covered her mouth to avoid getting the Troll’s attention. She got up from her seat by the fire and hurried to find Kaisa’s training spot, panickily whispering her name. To her relief, she found her just standing still behind the tent, but immediately froze out of a whole different feeling of concern.

 Kaisa’s eyes remained shut and muttered to herself while a big spark of light glimmered above her hand, holding and swirling her wand evenly. She seemed to be in her own world now, completely detached from the surroundings around her. Johanna failed to approach or even say a word to the witch as she realized how apprehensive she felt towards what was happening. When she thought she had enough to be confused about, she looked over her limbs to realize that a purple aura glowed around her body. Her feet began to rise up slightly from the ground and glanced ahead to see that Kaisa, despite maintaining the same posture, was also levitating; terror now overtook Johanna’s face.

 Then, Kaisa stopped her wand from spinning, and her open hand stretched high into the sky. The two girls continued lifting up ever so slowly from the ground, their feet could reach the tip of their tent, and soon they were as high as the top of a tree. Johanna flailed her arms and legs sporadically when it seemed like they soared upward enough, still too afraid to ask Kaisa what was going on.

 The witch opened one eye to see how far up she was, then the other to realize Johanna in front of her. Her pupils shrank in a state of fright and her jaw went slack. Out of all the mistakes she had expected to make, picking up Johanna with her own spell was the last yet most severe one she could ever think to fall through.

 “Oh no, oh no no no no…!” Kaisa whimpered. “I…I did not mean to…!”

 Johanna shushed and pointed downwards to their campsite. As Kaisa gawked down, her pulse stopped to the sight of a Troll peeking into their tent. It drew back to find out no one was inside, then turned to the fire and stared at it for a while. It finally took a seat, emitting a large thud on the ground like a single-second quake upon resting.  

Kaisa looked back at her best friend in fear, letting her eyes ask what on earth they should do now. Johanna fathomed, nodding to reassure that they were probably safer up in the sky, and gestured both her hands lightly to signify holding them in place with whatever Kaisa was making them float with.

 The witch fought to keep it together. Her breath was instable and the palm holding her wand began to sweat. If she could focus long enough and ward off the wish to descend back on the ground, all the while halting to recite her incantation which helped her concentrate, she could try having her and Johanna stay hovering in the air for as long as she wanted.

 Kaisa’s expression hardened and pointed her wand towards Johanna. She swung her arm backwards in a single quick motion, causing Johanna to gasp as she floated over to the witch. Kaisa gave the brunette a tight embrace, one so warm and protective that it felt inescapable to be let go from.

 “Please, don’t be mad.” Kaisa could only bring herself to plead. “I did not focus that well. I could have done even worse to us had I---”

 The tension felt within Johanna was lost to Kaisa’s voice and embrace, and her eyes closed, hugging her best friend back. “It’s okay, Kaisa.” she interrupted. “Just that…this…is a lot to take in…” the conversations about witch familiars and training with privacy all made sense now.

 “’I’m sorry…” Kaisa nestled her face onto Johanna’s shoulder. She looked back down at the campsite and saw the Troll keeping warm with their fire, motionless like the rock that it was. “We are going to be up here all night…”

 Johanna let go from their embrace so she could face Kaisa, still holding onto her shoulders. “Do you think there is a way we could get the troll to move out?” she asked.

 “I’m not sure if I am able to…” Kaisa admitted. “Not unless we let it know where we are.”

 Johanna looked back down; the Troll did nothing, only seemingly entranced by the fire as it gazed on it. She thought about how she wanted to warm herself earlier, and her eyes dilated upon realizing what the Troll only seemed to want as well.

 “If it’s not the troll we can do something about directly, we’re just going to have to take out the fire.” Johanna said.

 Kaisa caught up with the plan. “I got it.” she nodded. “Leave it to me then.”

 With her wand still at hand, she pointed the tip towards the campfire and concentrated on hitting anything but the Troll or their tent accidentally. The easiest thing she could bring herself to do with magic was release a streak of energy from her wand, and she hoped that blasting the campfire with her specific sort of ammunition could take out the fire and bid the Troll farewell.

 Deep breath…Eyes locked…The light on the tip of Kaisa’s wand glowed purple once more until it grew as bright as a star, then it hurled down from the wand in high speed. Barely a second later, the energy from Kaisa’s magic crashed into the campfire, exploding into a gradient of purple, white and orange, and nothing but a gleaming mist blanketed a portion of the camp. The Troll got up in shock, fists tightly clenched and glaring in all directions to search for what threatened it; Johanna and Kaisa watched from above in hopes it would not look up.

 When the mist quickly dispersed, the Troll looked down on the rubble of wood which used to be the campfire keeping it warm. It hummed a deep, disappointed tone, and stomped the ground so stridently that the two girls in the air could almost feel the tremor. No one appeared to be around it for miles, hence the Troll finally made its way back to the forestlands to search for another source of warmth in the wilderness.

 “Yes, it worked…!” Johanna expressed.

 The witch breathed a sigh of relief. “Do you think it will come back?” she asked.

 “Let’s hope it doesn’t.” Johanna answered. “We’ll leave the campfire be, we still got the tent to keep us warm.”

 With all the exhilaration fully coursing through Kaisa’s mind, the purple aura around her and Johanna faded away. They only had a second to see the spell had worn off before being weighed down by gravity, screaming and falling from the height of a two-story building before Kaisa raised her wand to reactivate the levitation spell. The two of them gnashed their teeth and their eyes shut tightly, just before peeking around to see they were hovering only an inch above the ground.

 Kaisa allowed the spell to cast off, and the glow of her wand and from their physiques dissipated for the last time tonight. She and Johanna dipped onto the floor with their backs flatly lied down, groaning when they picked themselves back up.

 Johanna felt unsure if anything she had just experienced after leaving her tent was even real. She stared at Kaisa hiding her wand away, then at all the leftover mist and sparkles on what used to be their campfire.

 “Kaisa…this whole time…you were a…” Johanna’s eyes lit up.

 Kaisa sighed. “Surprise.” she giggled tiredly. “I’m sorry I kept this secret from you, Johanna. I really could not say anything.”

 Kaisa’s breathing was concise and hasty. All of a sudden, she collapsed on her knees and held the ground to keep her up. To Johanna’s shock, she hurried to carry her back up and wrap her hand over her shoulder. The energy used up to perform the levitation spell took a toll on the witch-in-training. It was unlike anything she had ever accomplished before.

As soon as they entered their tent, Johanna laid Kaisa down on her sleeping bag and pillow. The Sparrow Scout grabbed a canister of fresh water and filled the cap almost to the brim, bringing it over to the witch and allowed her to drink as much as she needed.

 “Thank you.” Kaisa whispered, closing her eyes and lying back down.

 Johanna kept staring upon Kaisa in a near unconscious state, hoping she could still listen to her before she inevitably fell asleep. “Look, Kaisa…” she spoke. “…I know your spell did not work the way you wanted when I showed up, but you did save us from the Troll in the end. I really should be thanking you…”

 A corner of Kaisa’s mouth lifted. However, the soft grin on her face was short-lived, “But now I will never get the spell right on time…” she lamented, feeling the exhaustion overtaking her slowly.

 Johanna had so many questions she was dying to have answered, if only she could ask them now. In any case, witch or no witch, Kaisa was still the same best friend Johanna had since forever, and while she knew she could never make her magic and identity known to others, she could not wait to be there for Kaisa the next time she trained to become a witch.

 “We don’t have to leave after tomorrow,” Johanna said softly. “We can stay out here for as long as we need until you perfect your spell, and I won’t ever leave your side.”

[absurdthirst]

Requested: Hmm 🤔 how about “quiet. they can hear us.” and if you make it smut I love it even more!

By: @lilangeldevil006

I decided to make this about Catfish....this became my HC that this was when he and his lady conceived their new baby.

Small Spaces

The cabin was small. Pope like to brag that it was intimate, but to Y/N, it was just fucking small. Two bedrooms and one bathroom to be shared among six people for a weekend.

At least she and Catfish got one of the bedrooms. Pope and Tom sharing the other and Benny and Will on the pull out sofa in the living room.

A weekend away. It had seemed like a dream when Cat has brought up the idea. Being invited to the lake for some fishing, hiking and general hell raising. Besides, it had been awhile since she had seen all “her boys”.

She had a tendency to mother them, fuss over them when they were around and they ate it up. She grinned as she finished putting away the leftovers in the small fridge, and grabbed another beer to take out to the fire pit where everyone else was gathered.

Suddenly a pair of strong arms wrapped around her waist, body pressed against hers as warm lips landed sloppily below her ear.

She squealed as his teeth scrapped against her skin, his patchy stubble rasping as he moved.

“Tranquilo. Nos pueden escuchar.” Frankie whispered as he cupped her breast over her shirt. His other hand sliding into the waistband of her pants.

Y/N sagged back against him, reaching back to knock the ball cap off his head and thread her fingers into his hair.

He kissed her neck as thick fingers eased down to press against her pussy. Grinding his rapidly hardening cock against her ass as he squeezed her breast.

“Cat” Her low groan was music to his ears as he chided her.

“I told you. Have to be quiet. Don’t want them to come inside and find you like this do you?” He grinned as he eased two fingers into her.

His brain pleasantly fuzzy from a day of hiking and drinking, he had snuck away from the guys to find his wife. Wanting nothing more than to reenact some of their earlier escapades from when they were younger.”

“Remember when I snuck you into the barracks? Fucking you in my rack while Will was asleep.” He pumped his fingers inside her as he growled the words into her ear. “Biting down on my shoulder so hard to keep quiet you left a scar?”

Y/N’s head lulled back, leaning against Catfish’s shoulder as his own teeth bit down on her shoulder. Sucking at the skin as he rutted against her.

“How about I bend you over this counter? Remind you of when you begged for my cock in that debriefing room after we just got back from Cuba.” His fingers pinched her nipple as he shuffled her over to the counter.

“F-fuck yes.” She breathed. It had been so long since he had been so forward, insistent. It was thrilling to see him like that, heat pooling in her core as he pulled his hand away to fumble with his jeans.

She worked her own pants down her thighs and bit down on her lip as he gripped her hips and positioned himself behind her. In a slow deep roll of his hips he buried himself in her pussy.

His grunt against her ear was hedonistic, simmering with lust as he bottomed out. “Fuuuck.” He whispered.

Reaching back, she pulled at his hip and shirt as he started moving. Quick, hard thrusts as he continuously plowed into her. The slap of his hips against her ass and the small moans she couldn’t control as he fucked into her.

Outside the crackle of the fire and the laughter could be heard. But all she was concentrating on was the feel of Frankie, hard and throbbing inside of her as his fingers dug into the flesh of her hips.

The thrill of being caught and the raw pleasure of his cock shredding against her cervix tipped her over the edge quickly.

She tightened around him, making him groan as he shoved his face into the nap of her neck. His hands moving to her breasts under her shirt as his thrusts became frantic.

“Y/N” His cut his strangled moan off, teeth sinking into her shoulder as he pushed deep and ground his cock harder into her. Pulsing as he filled her.

Pulling out gently, he squeezed her hip as he kissed the bite mark on her shoulder. She giggled as they tidied themselves before Cat grabbed another beer and lead her out to the bonfire.

Met with catcalls and dirty jokes, she realized they hadn’t been quite as successful at keeping it down. Cat flipping all of them off as he pulled her down into his lap. Oh well, that’s what happens in small spaces during weekends away.

Tranquilo. Nos pueden escuchar - Quiet. They Can hear us.

MasterList

Permanent Tag List:

@mudhornmando @thisis-theway @thewaythisis @readsalot73 @synystersilenceinblacknwhite @little-ms-fandom @ah-callie @roxypeanut @hanelijoy @cable-kenobi @arrowswithwifi @javierpenaspinkshirt @wickedfrsgrl @lilangeldevil006

[max-is-tired]

It’s Fine By Me (If You Never Leave)

Pairing: Dukexiety

Characters: Remus Sanders, Virgil Sanders

Words: 2.062

Warnings: Sympathetic Remus, swearing, crying, kissing

Notes: I... might be starting to grow lowkey in love with Dark Sides ships sdkjvnsjkfvn 

Anyway!! here is a new fic, not even a week after the last one I posted -miracles exist apparently. A big thank you to my boyfriend @afulldeckofaces for catching the mistakes that slipped past 3am me skvnsfjv you’re the best babe <3

I hope you guys like it!!

Commission me!!  Buy me a coffee!!  Join my Discord server!!

If you had told 15 years old Virgil that one day he would’ve fallen in love with none other than Remus Grimm, he would’ve probably ended up cracking a rib or two by laughing too much.

And yet, look at him now -19 years old ad head over hills for his best friend, who just happened to have had to move two towns over because of college.

God, feelings sucked.

Virgil groaned in frustration, letting his forehead hit the textbook lying open in front of him with a muffled thump.

He was tired. He was so. Fucking. Tired. Tired of college, tired of this stupid crush that kept stubbornly refusing to go away, tired of his stupid anxiety and tired of having to deal with all of this without his best friend by his side.

Yes, he was grumpy because he hadn’t seen Remus in more than a month, sue him.

As if sensing his worsening mood, his phone buzzed, breaking Virgil out of his thoughts. Letting out a series of annoyed grumbles and half-assed curses, Virgil snatched his phone from where it was lying on the desk, Remus’ wild grin staring back at him from the screen.

It was a photo they had taken that summer, just before Remus had had to leave for college. Roman had been the one taking it, the day Patton had decided to drag -for some more literally than others- their entire group out for some ice cream.

Remus had thrown his arm around Virgil’s shoulder, proudly showing off his chocolate mustache as the other fumbled with his cone to keep it from falling to the ground.

Virgil remembered glaring daggers at him for a total of two seconds before Remus’ waggling eyebrows did him in and sent him in a snickering fit.

Virgil remembered the weight of Remus’ arm around his shoulder, his warmth seeping through his shirt in a way that somehow, didn’t make him uncomfortable -he had never felt uncomfortable with Remus, not once, not even under the hot summer Florida weather in the middle of July.

He only saw that photo for the first time later that night, staring at Remus’ wide grin and sparkling green eyes as his heart hammered in his chest.

The realization had crashed over him like a tsunami, every thought in his head screeching to a halt as he slowly became more and more aware of the fact that he was very much in love with his best friend.

”Of course,” Virgil remembered thinking, staring at his phone with wide eyes, ”who else could it be?”

And boy if that thought alone hadn’t scared the living shit out of him.

For a moment, Virgil let his mind linger on the memory of that sunny afternoon, a soft smile stretching on his face.

Then, he swiped up and clicked on the notification.

”You up for a little chat?” read Remus’ message, followed by a string of random emojis Virgil didn’t even try to decipher -he knew it would probably be useless since they rarely made sense in the first place.

Virgil frowned, threw a considering glance at his textbook and the various papers still scattered on the desk and shrugged -it was not like he was getting anything done anyway.

“sure, why not”

Not even ten seconds later Virgil’s phone lit up with an incoming call, the first notes of My Immortal filling the room.

“Hey there Spider boy!” came Remus’ voice from the other side of the line.

Immediately, Virgil felt some of the tension leave his shoulders, relaxing back on his chair as he pushed himself away from the cluttered desk.

“Sup, Trashman,” he answered, not even bothering to fight down the tired grin tugging at his lips -Remus was not there to tease him about it anyway, so.

“Wow, don’t sound too excited to hear from me.”

Virgil snorted, his smile turning more and more genuine as the seconds passed.

“Fuck you.”

“Maybe later. But really, you sound like shit -everything alright? Are there some bones that I need to break?”

Virgil groaned, leaning back as he pinched the bridge of his nose. Now that he wasn’t panicking over his homework exhaustion was slamming down on him full-force, making it very hard for him to string together a coherent thought let alone think about filtering whatever shit was coming out of his mouth.

“It’s just… fucking everything, man. College is kicking my ass, my anxiety is kicking my ass and I’m just- I’m just tired, you know?”

From the other side of the line, Virgil heard Remus hiss in sympathy at his words.

“Yeah, shit, that sounds rough as hell.”

A beat of silence, and then-

“I can drive over and burn down your campus if you want. No college, no classes. Boom, airtight.”

Virgil couldn’t have stopped the amused snickers leaving his mouth even if he’d tried, shoulders shaking with his laughter as he fought to stifle it down.

“Thanks for the very tempting offer, but I think I’ll give it a pass for now.”

Then, he sighed, feeling his smile slip away as he stared at the ceiling, his sadness starting to creep up on him again. “... I miss you,” he whispered -he hadn’t exactly meant to say that out loud, but he had and now just couldn’t stop.

“I just- I miss our daily escapades and you sneaking into my room at the oddest hours of the day because you decided for some reason that simply using the front door was too mainstream.”

Virgil took in a ragged breath, distantly feeling his eyes start to sting with unshed tears.

“I miss being able to just call you when everything gets too much with the knowledge you’ll be knocking at my window in five minutes max. I miss having you physically by my side every day, I miss my best friend and I feel so fucking bad about it because you’re following your dreams and I’m proud of you, I really am but I also want you right here by my side and-”

Virgil audibly snapped his mouth shut, pressing a hand over his lips to stifle his sobs as tears streamed down his face out of his control.

“I’m sorry,” he whimpered, moving the phone away from his ear.

“Virgil-” Remu voice called, sounding worried and maybe a little desperate. but before he could say anything more, Virgil hung up, letting his room fall back into silence before throwing the phone somewhere on his bed.

Virgil bit down hard on his lip, but he could do nothing against the sobs that kept bubbling in his throat. One escaped, then another and soon Virgil could do nothing but curl up with his head hidden between his knees, yearning for the one person that could not help him the way he wanted him to.

+++

Virgil didn’t exactly remember when he fell asleep, his memory being somewhat hazy in-between the tears that seemed to never end and the way he kept feeling like something was trying to squeeze him to death from the inside-out.

What he did remember, however, was waking up to a very familiar sound -one he’d thought he wouldn’t get to hear again in quite some time.

Initially, during those few moments floating between dreams and awakening, when reality hasn’t quite set in yet and sleep still hangs heavily from your eyelids, Virgil had almost believed he was still dreaming, his own vain hopes playing cruel tricks to his brain.

But the seconds kept ticking and Virgil kept hearing the goddamn sound, so there were only two possible explanations -either someone was trying to break into his room, or-

Virgil bolted up, almost tumbling off the chair he had fallen asleep on -which, ouch- in his haste to get to the window.

And sure enough, there Remus was, with his signature manic grin as he waved at Virgil from the tree branch he was perched on.

Virgil stared, hands moving almost on their own as they went through the familiar motions of unlocking the window to let his best friend in.

“Thanks, it was starting to get chilly out!” Remus chirped, climbing in with practiced ease and plopping himself down on the bed.

“What the fuck,” Virgil answered, still trying to process what was going on.

“I- you- what???” Virgil felt like his brain was about to implode, his gaze flickering from Remus to the window and then back to Remus again.

“Dude, what the hell are you doing here? It’s fucking two am or something like that and you live like, three hours away!”

Remus shrugged, shuffling around so he could sit cross-legged in the middle of the bed.

“My best friend is hurting, why would I not come?”

“It’s the middle of the week, you have classes tomorrow,” Virgil weakly pointed out, starting to feel a little choked up with all the emotions coursing through him at once.

“It’s Thursday, or Friday morning is you wanna be accurate,” Remus easily countered. “I know for a fact that neither you nor I have anything important going on tomorrow and the weekend is class free, so I’m going to crash here until Monday morning since we both have afternoon classes. And no, this is not up to debate. It’s happening, Spider Boy.”

Virgil blinked, staring at him with wide eyes as his heart hammered in his chest.

There was a tingling sensation running through all of his body, electrifying in the best of ways. It felt like fire and ice and water altogether, filling him up and up until-

“I love you,” Virgil blurted out, unable to stop the words from tumbling out any longer.

Remus stared for a second before a dazzling grin took over his face.

“I love you too!” he chirped, grinning so wide Virgil distantly worried if it didn’t hurt to pull at the muscles that much.

“No, uh-” Virgil stuttered, all too aware of how flustered he probably looked at that moment.

He bit his lip, pondering his next course of action. He could still salvage this, just let it go and make Remus believe he meant it in a platonic way and nothing more, burying his feelings in the deepest and darkest corner of his heart. But on the other hand… did he really want to do that?

“I meant in a romantic way, Remus,” he finally admitted, looking everywhere but at his best friend, “I love you as in I want to be your boyfriend and kiss you and stuff.”

Silence fell, filling the room as Virgil kept carefully avoiding Remus’ eyes.

God, he’d ruined everything, didn’t he?

Then he saw a familiar hand reach out and grab a fistful of his hoodie, firmly tugging him forward before he could express his confusion.

Virgil let out a startled yelp, stumbling towards the bed until he found himself face-to-face with his best friend. Still grinning, Remus winked before leaning in, erasing the last few inches separating them as he kissed him square on the lips.

Virgil froze, eyes as wide as saucers as he tried to comprehend whatever the fuck was going on. But before he could do that, Remus pulled back, slowly letting his eyes slide open again as a small, soft smile tugged at the corner of his lips -it was such a strange expression to see on Remus’ face, but Virgil found that he didn’t mind it at all, as long as it was directed at him.

“I know what you meant,” Remus chuckled, pecking Virgil on the lips again for good measure, “and I love you too. Now, are you gonna actually get on the bed and cuddle or do I need to drag you under the covers myself?”

Virgil let out a startled snort, feeling like he was reeling from the last five minutes alone. Still, he dutifully climbed on the bed and flopped down, feeling his exhaustion start to creep back on him again.

Remus grinned, laying down beside Virgil and immediately cuddling as close as humanly possible.

“Comfy?” Virgil teased, moving his hand to gently card it through the other’s hair.

“Hush boyfriend, pillows don’t talk,” Remus grumbled, already halfway gone as he somehow snuggled even closer.

Virgil hummed, leaning down to leave a kiss in Remus’ hair.

Boyfriend, uh? Well, it did have a nice ring to it.

[pop-punklouis]

what are you top like 5-10 larry fics?

oh god uhhh imma do all my fave not just 5-10 soz. lemme see. most of them are older as i’ve had a bad habit of not reading fic recently. also i’m only gonna link and provide a bio of those i don’t talk about often.

• Here in the Afterglow (obviously)

• Finding Lou (One Shot)

• Coax the Cold

• Wild and Unruly

• This Wicked Game

• Through Eerie Chaos

• Escapade

• Love is a Rebellious Bird

• Tired, Tired Sea

• Wings to Break Your Fall (102K)

strip club AU. Harry’s work and family are keeping him busy. He really isn’t looking for a relationship, doesn’t want one. He just wants Louis. Problem is, Louis has other plans.

• California Sold (123k)

Notoriously closeted boyband member Harry Styles is famous on a global scale, meanwhile Louis, as his best friend, is back home in Manchester, living the typical life of a 24 year old. When Harry needs Louis with him in LA, a publicity stunt gone wrong changes their friendship forever.

A fake-relationship AU between two lifelong best friends.

• Rapture in the Dark (13k)

Harry Styles is a breakout musician who has shed his boyband label in favor of embracing his inner brooding rockstar. His PR team think that his rebrand is the perfect time for Harry to come out of the closet and have devised the perfect plan for doing so. Enter Louis Tomlinson, up and coming (and very openly homosexual) model whose public image as America's Sweetheart is the perfect foil for Harry's new edge. From a PR standpoint, it's a dream come true - a power couple that can slowly coax the public into accepting Harry's altered image. The only problem? They hate each other.

• Empty Skies (134k)

For three years, Harry has been running from his past. Now, he is moving to London and pledges to fulfil his only dream -- making it big in the music industry. Not everyone has a place, though, and the competition is tough. As is his past catching up on him.

Louis is part of the biggest boy band of the world, and getting there had meant a lot of hard work, as well as sacrificing parts of his heart and soul. He's still happy. Maybe not as happy as he could be, but who is he to complain?

• Fixated on One Star (52k)

Louis is just a boy with the world on his shoulders, and Harry's just a boy from the wrong side of the galaxy. A little thing like love doesn't stand a chance against a thousand years of war, at least until the right two come along to break the mold.

Or: space Romeo and Juliet, minus all the s*icide.

• Infinity in Always (23k)

Louis suffers from prosopagnosia; he can’t recognize faces, even familiar ones. He can’t remember his own face, let alone Harry’s, but he remembers the way his skin feels under his fingertips, how he trembles under his touch as if Louis is fire, and Harry is nothing but mere paper, disintegrating into ash)

• Behind the Glass (77k)

Harry Styles is notoriously wild, red-blooded and in love with the ladies. Or at least that's as much as Louis knows when he lands his dream job as a junior management assistant at Modest Management. Louis is fresh out of university, confident, bright and determined to make it in the industry but he's also slightly confused...

For one thing, why is Harry Styles absolutely nothing at all like Louis expected him to be? Why does he look so sad? And why does he look at Louis as though Louis is the answer to a question he doesn't even understand?

• In Vogue (121k)

Fashion AU. Louis is the editor in chief of Vogue magazine, and Harry's running British GQ. Featuring Zayn as the crazy creative director and Louis' confidant, Liam as the sports writer that gets to sit front row at fashion week and DJ Neil as the only sane person in the whole story. (There are no skinny jeans in this fic)

• Dream Awake (31k)

On a hazy day in August, Louis sees Harry perform at a music festival as an unsigned act and convinces him to spend the rest of the weekend in his company. Harry gets signed; life changes. They never really wake up from the dream.

• Outwit, Outplay, Outlast (61k)

a Survivor All-Stars AU in which Harry and Louis are just in this game to win the million dollars, but they end up with something better.

• Married for a Week?! (20k)

Hi guys :) You might recognize Harry from one or two of my old videos .. I was tagged in the Married for a week challenge so I asked him to be my husband ! We had to live together for a week and take each other out on a couple romantic dates and that, check out the video to see how it went :) Give it a like if you enjoyed and maybe subscribe if you haven't already. Love you all — Louis x

• bluebird (39k)

The 2,789 miles between New York and Los Angeles is a long way to go alone.

• Leave it to the Breeze (81k)

a great british bake off au in which louis cares about winning and winning only, harry is made of sunshine and rainbow sprinkles, and niall sticks his nose into other people's business. also featuring liam as louis's best friend-slash-concerned mother, and zayn as a macaron connoisseur.

• Hold Me Closer (36k)

Louis Tomlinson is one of the most promising dancers of the English National Ballet, on track to become the youngest principal dancer in the company's history. That is, until forces conspire to significantly complicate his life, including: a surprise ballet, an unfairly attractive guest choreographer, and being pushed into a rivalry with his best mate. Featuring lots of wine, dancing, pining, and a happy ending.

• A Runaway American Dream (15k)

AU. they take route 66 with only each other and their secrets.

• Please don’t be in Love with Someone Else (18k)

The one where Harry and Louis are neighbors and there's a lot of overthinking, misunderstandings, Backstreet Boys sing alongs, embarrassing moments in the hallway, and pining. They somehow still make it work.

[yet-another-fan-girl9]

Better When You’re Gone

Summary: Bucky has been distant lately and you’ve had enough.

Warnings: angst

Word Count: 1202

A/N: Inspired by Better When You’re Gone by David Guetta, Brooks, & Loote. I always wanted to write an angsty fic to this song and many other songs so be prepared for more...

~*~

I got pain from my waist up

And I wake up and I take drugs

And I say stuff that I make up, like "I hate love"

And I hate that I can't lie

Couldn't hate you if I tried

You walked down the crowded New York street. Lost in your head, you ignored the people shoving past you, talking loudly on their phones. It seemed like a dream, a nightmare, what you were going to do. You could say you didn’t love him anymore, but he had always told you that you were a terrible liar.

You still loved him. With all your heart.

You fiddled with the pendant around your neck. The diamond embedded star was a gift from your boyfriend. He had given it to you on your one year anniversary as a reminder of your first date.

You could still remember the grass tickling your legs where they had extended over the picnic blanket. He had insisted on you being on his right side, not yet comfortable with his metal arm. He was keeping you warm whenever a cool breeze blew by, carrying the scents of the nearby flower fields.

He hadn’t always been super invested in the stars, he told you. But the stars were always there whenever he woke up from cyro. He pointed out the many constellations that painted the night sky. You knew some of them; you had taken astronomy as one of your electives once, but you loved hearing him talk.

Now the sharp points of the star seemed to cut into your hand.

It'll suck for all week, then hurt more on the weekend

When I go and see your friends

And I don't know what to tell 'em

I can't lie

Couldn't hate you if I tried

You walked past a bar. Right now, its blinds were drawn and lights were off, but memories of tipsy escapades with a group of superheroes flashed in front of your eyes.

He had first introduced you to his friends four months into dating. Maybe it took longer than in past relationships but he was a busy superhero who sometimes needed to get away from that life. You understood and supported him. You never had the intention of shouting your relationship status with the ex-Winter Soldier from the rooftops. He still had many enemies and you watched enough superhero movies to know the love interest is always a target for the bad guys.

The rest of the Avengers had been very welcoming. You had gotten pretty close to a couple of them. Wanda and Natasha had even invited you to girls night every once in a while.

Would you still be friends after this?

I'm comin' around to see you, comin' around to leave you

What is the point of hoping when it's already broken?

It hurts to let you go and it's worse to hold on

But I know that I'll be better when you're gone

Said I know that I'll be better when you're gone

You could have taken a cab, but the walk was helping you clear your mind. It had taken you ages to go do this. Maybe you should just turn back. Maybe you should just throw this plan out the window. He can still come back to you. Just give it time.

He had it rough. Sometimes missions went sideways. He distanced himself whenever that happened. You always told him that you were there for him. That he could come to you if he needed anything.

When you're gone

Said I know that I'll be better when you're gone

Sometimes something reminded him of his past. From before the war or during his time with Hydra. You always told him that you didn’t care what he did under their control. They made him do the horrible deeds. He would still push you away.

Sometimes you had problems and he wasn’t around.

You gave me just eighty

When I needed all a hundred percent of you lately

It's obvious you don't even try

You don't even try

You weren’t that special. No superpowers, no history of being an assassin or spy. You were a normal person with normal person problems. Sometimes you worried they paled in comparison to his problems. They were problems nonetheless.

A couple of months ago, your mother had passed. He came when you called and let you cry on his shoulder. He had met your mother once or twice but soon after you had dried your tears, he had kissed you and left to go on a mission.

He didn’t show up at the funeral. Maybe he didn’t really know your mother, but you had been dating for over a year and a half. You needed someone to pull you through.

Sometimes they were just small problems. No more snacks in your pantry. A bad day at work.

When he was in one of his moods, you didn’t want to bother him. Instead, you kept the small problems to yourself. But one day they would have to spill over.

Today was that day.

I'm comin' around to see you, comin' around to leave you

What is the point of hoping when it's already broken?

It hurts to let you go and it's worse to hold on

But I know that I'll be better when you're gone

Said I know that I'll be better when you're gone

The air conditioning washed over you as you stepped into the Avenger’s Tower. People recognized you and either nodded or gave you a small wave. You shifted your weight from foot to foot as you rode the elevator up into the living quarters.

You hadn’t seen him in almost two weeks. He was too busy, he said. When you stepped out of the elevator, you immediately saw him lounging on the couch. Your heart ached with longing as you looked at the man. He sat up when he heard you. His brilliant blue eyes bored into you. You remember falling into their depths as you fell in love with him.

You wanted to save yourself from the pain. Just smile and say you missed him. Just go over and tuck yourself into his side. Go up to the roof and wait for the stars to appear.

But you knew you had to let him go. It was worse to hold on to the relationship that seemed to disappear like smoke.

Thankfully you were alone. Having an audience would only make it more painful and awkward. He raised an eyebrow at you. He could tell something was wrong.

Words spilled from your mouth. Partly a practiced speech partly pure emotion. He listened respectfully. He didn’t beg you for another chance. He didn’t plead you to stay with him.

He agreed with you.

The relationship was dying. The relationship was dead.

When you're gone

Said I know that I'll be better when you're gone

Said I know that I'll be better when you're gone

You left the skyscraper heavy-hearted but with an invisible weight gone from your shoulders. A stray tear tickled your cheek as you began your long trek home.

It was hard.

It was over.

But… 

You still loved him.

[bitchlessdino]

and they were roommates pt.2

A svt.hub collab

Pairing: camboy!chan x afab roommate!reader

Genre: smut

Word count: 2.2k

tags: pet name (kitten), oral, 34 +35, dirty talk, mentions of sex tape

Summary: Wanting sex is a natural feeling, it just so happens that gratification could be found in the next room with a shitty webcam and an infectious laugh.

author note: thank you @chogiwapadada for helping me proofread this thing and thank you guys for the endless support. the fact that this was on the top page for the seventeen tag is insane and y'all made such a big deal of this and therefore i thank you guys so much. but josh if you see this, no you don't go away, please. i am always constantly overwhelmed by the support and hopefully you guys enjoy this one too!

tag list: @sapphichui @librarian-stacks @dontflailmenow @gyuldaengie @minniemole @greysdarling @romromthedeer @yoondae @dinosbestie

part 1 | part 2 | part 3

You may be wondering, what happened that night when Chan fapped to the thought of you in front of a live audience, not forgetting to invite you when he’s made a mess of himself. Did you really take up his offer, stormed out of your room, and had the most mind-blowing sex with your roommate you ever had?

Of course, you fucking didn’t, are you kidding?

What you actually did was finish off independently in your own rooms and did not speak another word to each other for the rest of the night.

You were awkward roommates at the end of the day and who knows what kind of shit would happen if you decided to pursue these escapades any further. No matter how hot and incredible Chan/Dino looked naked, there was no way you’d potentially ruin your convenient living agreements with your roommate who obviously makes enough money for the both of you (a lot of thanks to you I guess). So, what was the tactical decision after learning your roommate is a popular and successful sex worker?

Act as if nothing happened. What live show? What’s Dino? What even is Svthub? You don’t masturbate, that’s icky.

Yeah, you’re having a hard time believing that too. But what else were you supposed to do?

You could hardly look Chan in the eye the next day. Fortunately, he paid you almost no mind being that it was his weekend too. However, last night’s show was not as easily forgettable for you as it was for him. You could still picture the momentum and force that took hold of his body that managed to power his personal gratification, killing every functional cell of your entire being. His smile was already so pretty on a normal basis but how it twists desperately when he gets closer and closer, and his whines get louder and bolder, you could just cum then and there.

It fucking drove you insane he was just sitting there on the couch, laughing at cartoons as if nothing happened. It, in fact, confused you, even more, making you consider whether last night was even a dream because of how contradicting Chan and Dino really were, but it’s him. That laugh is his, that smile is his, that body is his, and that semi-hard cock poking at his gray sweatpants was definitely his. How were you so stupid that you didn’t notice sooner?

You press your lips in a firm line when you notice him turn his head at you, urging you to swallow the built up drool in your mouth.

“You wanna go grocery shopping today,” he asks, “I think I remember there was a sale for something I’ve been needing for a while.”

Like he needs to participate in any sales from the income he grew overnight.

“We went shopping last week,” you pointed out.

He nods agreeingly, “yeah, but I think we can afford it. I kinda got a huge bonus.”

Yeah, because Chan’s horny roommate couldn’t control themselves.

“Sure. Just let me get my bag.”

He claps his hands in rejoice and waits for you on the couch. When you’re both ready, Chan grabs the house keys and you’re the first one to head to the front door. Turning the knob, you swing the door open and at your feet was a package labeled to your roommate. You curiously pick it up from the ground, “Hey, Chan—”

“Uh, that’s mine,” he snatches it, nervously chuckling, sticking it in a vacant spot on your shared bookshelf.

You narrow your eyes at him as he pushes you out of the apartment and locks the door behind you both. “What was that?”

He shakes his head dismissively, flicking his hand in feigning lack of care. “Just treated myself. Got here earlier than I expected.”

Next day shipping, hmm?

You don’t question it and let Chan lead the way to the local market to grab whatever was missing from your pantry. You push the cart as Chan fills its insides gleefully, walking around like a kid in a toy store. The scene before made you almost forget the persona that clouded your mind, especially as he grows indecisive picking between chips options. You felt a little normal about your situation again.

It was then you found smth you had been looking for. A sugar free coffee syrup collection that you’ve been dying to try and has been sold out for months; it was finally available. The problem was the shelf it was on. Higher than you admit you could reach. You stretch your toes out towards the box, desperately holding on to the whimsical domestic fantasy of flavored coffee, not even getting close to touching the box.

You then feel a presence behind you, his chest grazing your back just enough to feel the noticeable progress he’s made at the gym, and a blackberry scent that hits your nose so delightfully. You didn’t fight the urge to turn around, and you faced Chan as easily hid your body from plain sight, grabbing what you meant to retrieve.

Blinking back cautiously towards him, you see the glimpse of his alluring presence from last nice, but instead you see the full picture. He looks back at you with a taunt, his eyes weighing down to give you a playful condescending grin. In your head, you imagined him teasing you like he would his audience, calling you his little toy or kitten, but instead he says, “Here you go, little one.”

You scoff, snatching the box away from him. “I could have easily gotten it myself.”

He doesn’t move from his stance and instead rests a hand on a shelf mere centimeters from your head. He narrows bedroom eyes down at you and a smile on his face that makes thousands of people climax simultaneously. Your breath hitches as he shifts his stance, where you tighten your grip on the collection box in reassurance.

“I’m sure you think that.” He responds slyly.

You huff in disbelief, pushing past him and towards the cart, grumbling to yourself something about an annoying loser. Chan, within earshot, chuckles to himself, following behind you. Hands besides either of yours on the cart handle, he walks behind you with your back to his chest, essentially embracing you.

You feel the pitter patter of your heart as he whispers in your ear, “anything else I grab from high shelves for ya?”

You roll your eyes and elbow him instinctively, the man holds his gut, absorbing the blow of his consequences. “Please, you’re 5’7. How much help can you actually be?”

“5’8 actually! And I'm a great help!”

When you get back to your apartment, you share the abundance of grocery bags with Chan. You unlock the front door and close it behind both you and Chan. Your gaze lingers at the package left on the book shelf as you pack away the food.

“Not to pry, but what is that package anyway?”

He waves his hands dismissively, “not much, just something I’ve been wanting.”

A fleshlight? A cock ring? Or maybe, a silicone torso?

“Really, you sure seem indifferent for something you’ve been wanting,” you pointed out.

“And you’re really nosy for someone that didn’t want to pry.” He shuts the cabinet, annoyance emitting from his tone.

You feel awful about pestering him but the curiosity was killing you. You continue to light heartedly bring it up every little chance you get. To which, your roommate tries to change the subject or ignore you completely in hopes you forget. Unfortunately for him, you had no off switch.

“Ok, fine, y/n. You really want to know?”

You slightly falter. “…Sure.”

Chan takes out the keys out of his pockets and uses it to shred the box. He flips the box, one cardboard flap at a time, and reveals the excessive packing. He pulls it apart teasingly slow, offering you a slight glare, and your eyes finally land on what was inside. You peer at it confused, pursing your lips before announcing out loud, almost to come to terms with what’s inside.

“A dinosaur onesie?”

“Yeah. Are you happy? You excited yourself for one comfy piece of sleepwear,” he shrugs, underlyingly relieved.

You shake your head, “you spent your bonus on a onesie?”

“What I do in my down time is my business.”

He storms off with his new favorite form of comfort and closes his bedroom door behind him. Your body boiled over with shame, thinking to yourself how selfish and invasive you were being. What, you think because your roommate masturbates to the thought of you once during a web show means you could get in his face?

You facepalm yourself and reluctantly approach his door, a limp knock resonating off the cheap wood. “Chan, I'm sorry. I don’t know why I’m being like this, but that’s no excuse.”

Silence lingers.

“Look it’s not lame to have a onesie okay, I just thought there might be something else in that box? I don’t know, but don’t be mad at me…”

You’re basically talking to a brick wall, or in your case, a wooden door.

“I won’t bother you anymore, okay. I understand there’s some lines that were drawn and I breached one of them…Whenever you want to talk again, let me know. It’s my turn to make dinner anyway. I have to have your input if you’ll complain again.”

You unlatch yourself from the door frame and timidly walk off to your room. Hai door creaks open behind you and your head to see Chan’s head peek out. A guilty expression all over his face and a dry tongue, hesitant to bare out his thoughts. “I did something…bad. Weird even.”

Hesitation is apparent in your response, wondering if he was finally going to admit that secret of his. “okay.”

“I’m not trying to be closed off—”

“You’re not,” you interrupt, “I’m just being annoying.”

“No. No…Well—okay, a little, but maybe I feel that was because of what I did.”

“What did you do, Chan?”

“Don’t make me say it,” he whines.

“It’s okay, you can say it out loud,” you reassure him, “I will not judge.”

“I…may have a little bit too much of your body wash.”

“…huh?”

He steps out from the door. “I know how that kind of stuff does without saying, but it just smells so nice. But luckily I did grab some when we’re out, and you didn't notice, so I couldn’t handle the guilt any longer. So projected on you, got angry with you. I’m sorry.”

You blink back at him, unsure of how to respond. This certainly wasn’t something you expected to come out of your mouth and you wonder why he thought it’d be something to ponder over with your feelings in mind. “How cheap do you think I am?”

He shakes his head. “It’s not that I think that I just…thought you should know the truth.”

“It’s fine, Chan. God, I thought you were going to talk about something serious. Is that all?” You egg on.

“…yeah.” He goes behind the door and isolates himself in his room.

You couldn’t help but feel the slightest bit bothered that it was all he had to say to you. Was he really that unaffected by what happened?

You let out a huff of frustration. You couldn’t take it anymore. You had to masturbate to some random hot guy on the internet. That bad guy had to be Chan. And Chan had to masturbate to you, with you, in front of thousands of other horny people to see. However, did he seem to care? Seems unlikely.

Your fist slams his door repeatedly, desiring the closure that should stop eating you up from inside, demanding him to “admit it” and while internally feeling embarrassed that you dropped the ball so quickly. You were a horny mess.

“You have more to explain to me Lee Chan!”

That goes on for a good minute until the door swings open and the man inside pulls you by the wrist disrupting his peace. You press against him, chest to chest, his eyes narrowing at you in frustration, while you look at him like a child about to receive punishment.

“Instead of waiting for me to say something, why don’t you just ask?” He suggests with a sinister tone under his breath.

Adrenaline courses through your veins, your legs grow weak from his tense presence, and you no longer have the urge to speak. Chan’s hand places on the side of your hip, pulls you up from slipping to the floor, and his expression softens. “Are you that bothered by my job?”

Your eyes fluttered rapidly in anticipation “Y-you knew?”

“It took some thinking,” he chuckles and stops to stabilize you back on the ground, keeping his distance, “are you grossed out by me?”

You became still as a lamp post, jumping between the thought of denying everything or putting it all out in the open. He was into you, you were definitely into him, there shouldn’t be a problem.

“I found you by accident. I didn’t mean to invade a private space of yours…When I found out, it was too late at that point.”

“I see. I hope I didn’t make you feel uncomfortable,” he scratches the back of his head with an uncomfortable grin, “I figured I’d be caught sooner or later. Just didn’t think I’d be so soon.”

“Look, you have a job you enjoy. I’m not going to take that away from you, Chan. It honestly doesn’t bother me. It probably pays more than that receptionist gig.”

“Right…So, how much have you seen?”

You sigh, approaching the cushion of his bed and making yourself home on the sheets. “More than I like to admit, especially to the star. Ha ha.”

Chan snickers, finally relaxing to see how aloof you become, and takes the spot next to you in bed. “I have time.”

You explain to him that in the past few days you’ve been in a sexual rut: not wanting do go out and meet other people, not wanting to go on apps, not wanting to make an effort, but still desperately craved sexual attention. That’s when you found Dino. Dino was alluring to you in a way that made you feel comfortable, yet wanted. Dino had a cheesy way with words, but nonetheless, he had a way with them. He feels inclusive and intimate, making you feel immersed in every recording posted on his site. He was talented in ways you could imagine with the last sexual partners you have and gave you the ultimate goal in the end every single time.

“I’m so flattered…and kinda exposed.”

You laugh quietly to yourself and pat him on the back. “You’re really good at it. I was impressed to say the least.”

“I’m assuming you caught last night's show too?”

Your cheeks began to pink. “Uh, yeah, that show.”

“I just want to say I don’t normally do that. It was a one time thing and I just…I got caught up. I’m sorry.”

“D-don’t be, I was really surprised, but pleasantly,” you let out a nervous chuckle, “but I really didn’t think I had that effect on you.”

“Maybe just a little,” he admits with a shy smile, “And I even invited you. It’s stupid. If I knew you were watching—”

“I didn’t come over because it was a live show, not because I didn’t want to…do that with you.”

His eyes lit up. “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Chan fiddles with his fingers before resting it close to yours, your pinkies making skin contact. “So, you wanted to?”

You shrug, having a hard time meeting his eyes as you glowed like a fresh tomato. “I don’t know, maybe, kind of…I didn’t want to start something that could ruin what we have, you know?”

“Right,” he nods, “I get that. The last thing us roommates need is a complicated situation.”

“Exactly. It felt only right to not do anything.”

Chan piques in wonder, readjusting himself in the mattress to lean forward in your direction. “Is it though?”

You scoff, glancing at him briefly. “Of course it is…isn’t it?”

His gaze drifts off towards your lips, flickering back to your eyes. A smile that resembles a Cheshire cat forms on his face, effectively luring you without any words. If he did ever decide to show his face, his income would multiply by ten folds. There was no way someone would be able to ignore a face like that. His lips begin to part, and you follow the shapes they make until your brain processes them into words.

“Do you really think that way?”

You let out light gasp, also surprised by how similarly his tone shifts into Dino and once again you’re hypnotized by his mere presence, making you think he could make you do almost anything.

“Don’t you?”

He shakes his head confidently, a soft giggle escapes his lips. “You’re so cute.”

You clear your throat. “Am I?”

“Yeah,” his body turns completely to sit up parallel to you, “You don’t know how much I’m trying to control myself right now.”

“Then don’t,” you respond curtly, “I can handle myself.”

He nods. “I’ll take your word for it.”

His lips fit around yours in an instant. He moves with assertion. You were completely under his spell, unwaveringly in his possession. His hand moves to cup your face, his tongue finding easy entry after biting down on your bottom lips. The top of his nose tickles yours and you find yourself grasping his sides. Your legs pull up from the floor and anchor on his sheets. Chan’s free arm moves to take hold of your waist, forcing you chest to chest.

He parts from your lips reluctantly. He stares back at your half open eyes as if waiting for you to tell him to stop. When you’re the one to lean in and match his rhythm from moments before, he’s the one to give in to you. He melts into you until you’re one. You collapse underneath him and he strokes your hair so sweetly. How he kisses is between a starved man and a long time lover; comforting but exciting all at once.

His hand trails beneath your shirt, shivers running up your spine. You feel his smile against your lips as he hums to himself gleefully. “You’re so pretty underneath me, Kitten.”

“You figured that out too?” You laughed nervously.

“I had a feeling. Is that what you like being called? Kitten?”

You caught your lower lip between your teeth. “Not really, but I don’t mind it when you say it.

“Really,” he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, nuzzling his nose against yours, “that makes me happy to hear.”

His lips fall against your cheeks in peppery kisses then down your jaw, biting and sucking against the untouched skin until it glowed red and purple. His hand at the same time lands on your thigh, massaging your skin. Smoothly, his hands in a cupping shape drags two fingers over your clothed cunt, chuckling darkly into your skin as you gasp. “Fuck Chan.”

He pushes himself up and makes home underneath your pants, achingly closer to the arousal that soaked your underwear. A thin layer of it spreads on the pads on his fingers, pushing them in with the layer of underwear in between. Your abdomen tenses up, but that’s how you knew he did it right. At the same time, his hand traces your jaw before prying it open your lips with his fingers. You let them slip inside your mouth with ease, quick to close around his digits, to which Chan let them pump inside your mouth. He grips your jaw with the rest of his hand, emulating you being full in both ends.

“You like that? You like it when I put my fingers in your mouth?”

You bob your head to nod, feeling his fingers plunge harder into your core as a reward. You moan loudly around the fingers in your mouth, and feel him drag his crotch over your thigh, getting himself off. You are overwhelmed to say the least but not unsatisfied. “You look like you’d do anything I want, am I right about that kitten?”

You nod again, subtle squirming at the height of your excitement.

“Then why don’t you make yourself comfortable and sit on my face for me, hmm? And you can return the favor for me if you like.”

He pulls away from you to give you space. He undresses himself from his plain white tee down to his sweatpants and soon after you follow suit. You ogle at the appearance of his sweat glistening torso, able to trace every deep toned structure by memory, and then match the level of his cock, pointing plainly in your direction, almost screaming at you to touch it.

“Is kitten getting distracted? You need some help undressing?”

He chuckles at your speechless state and comes to your aid. He lifts your shirt from your body, his confidence faltering at your beautiful flushed skin underneath as he looks at you in amazement. His hand glides your slide, thumbing over your erect nipples to see then get harder he squeezed. Pulling away from the trance, he smiles before lowering down and pulling off your pants and underwear, unveiling a glistening beauty that was your cunt. He could feel his mouth watering already.

“I want to eat you out so bad,” he says breathlessly.

Your blood pumping at his words, making you pull Chan flat on the bed. He lays sprawled out with a smile, he beckons you with a simple gesture, and before you know it, you lower yourself over his mouth, tempted by the cock that stood tall in front of you. You feel him kiss along your inner thigh, mouthing at your folds, until that while his smile engorges on your entrance. His thumbs spread you apart and feel your heart flutter at his pace. He had yet to use his tongue but skills did all the talking. You grab hold of his strong, reliable thighs and flatten your body on his.

You hold his shaft for the first time and laugh nervously. “Wow, I’m seeing it in person.”

“I hope I can exceed your expectations,” he chuckles into your heat.

First you take in the shape with your eyes, pristine and perfect just like on screen, then your mouth. You fit half of it inside the best you could, all while drowning to the sound of Chan’s wet love making to your soaked pussy, and bob face down on his length. You lube him with your saliva, transparent ribbons stretching as you pull away. Your hand cups his balls, kneading them like dough, adjusting to his size all too naturally.

While Chan had a delicious time, he grew increasingly aware how better you were at this than he imagined. This only encourages him more, his arms loop around your legs, pulling your body toward him roughly. He flicks his tongue in sharp licks and occasionally switches to devouring its inside like a gourmet meal. His nose buried deep into you, rubbing against the bud of your clit, playful pants leaving his lips.

“Mmh, Chan. Like that please…” you plead.

His nails dig into the flesh of your ass, licking fats and harsh stripes before letting you close up around his tongue. He explores you like he would a venture, ambrosia on his taste buds. On the other hand, you feel the need to catch up. You swallowed his girth, pushing it in deeper, and grind up on Chan’s face. When you reach his base, his hips come to aid, thrusting into your mouth with no remorse. You stabilize yourself on his stomach and let him hit the back of your throat senselessly. Your eyes roll to the back of your skull, vibrating around him from your moans, tears start to swell up in your eyes.

Your muffled voice would echo from the walls, bouncing off every surface, before you came in his mouth, twitching enough that he forces you down on him. He drove you insane with what could do, driving you to pull your mouth off him to gasp for air, it all became too much, but not unwelcome. “P-please cum in my mouth, Chan. I want it so bad.”

Chan lets his mouth rest for a moment, takes the opportunity to take in oxygen and leaves you a last order before he dives back in. “Then put it back in your mouth for me, kitten.”

You do as you're told and force it down your throat, letting it hit far back in your uvula with your thrust until he pours inside you. Your eyes snap shut. You close the opening of your mouth to not let a single drop go to waste. Your cheeks inflate from lack of capacity and you're forced to swallow down what you’ve reined in. You fall to your side on the bed and Chan manages to pull himself up to lock eyes. A sweaty disheveled mess, Chan smiles in bliss seeing how fucked out you’ve become just for him. His fingers land on your lips and gently pull them apart to see your clean work. You stick your tongue plainly out in response, smiling just as bright as he was.

“Tired already?” He teases.

“Maybe, just...how do you do it? For hours on end too?”

“I just know what I’m doing, kitten. Don’t worry about the next round, I’ll do all the work,” he crawls on top of you, smoothing your frayed hair, “and while we’re at it, I can turn a camera on and we can have a little something to ourselves.”

[wangxiangiftexchange]

Winter Solstice Gift for koikoipond

For @koikoipond <3

Read on AO3

*****

Call it Crazy, Call it Meant to Be

The morning of the second day Wei Ying met his soulmate, he rolled out of bed and made it halfway to the bus stop before realizing he’d pulled on his bunny slippers, a gag gift from Jiejie, and left his slip-ons haphazardly discarded by the couch. He’d still made it to the bus in time, though just barely, and had to call in Mianmian to take over the newbie’s shift. All in all a normal start to any day he had to open up the coffee shop.

In short, the universe had not prepared his poor heart for the man who strode into Latte Mugs Cafe at five after six, riding the crest of the crisp December air like some sort of angel in a white wool sweater. The door’s bell rang far too muted than was usual.

Wei Ying stared for what his racing heart later deemed a good five minutes before his gaze, somewhat distorted by the glass of the display he was arranging, rose to meet the man’s golden eyes. Oh, crap.

He shot to his feet, waved nonsensically at the man, shouted some rendition of “We’ll be right with you!”, and bolted through the door to the back room, whisper-yelling for Mianmian.

As soon as the door swung shut behind him, Wei Ying put a hand on his wildly thumping heart and paused to calm his breathing. Why is he here? When Mianmian emerged from the storage shelves (only one unit of which was used to stock non-perishables; the rest were filled to the brim with what the employees could only assume were the owner’s personal items, or else the remains of some poor, traditional tea shop, based on the sheer number of handmade tea sets), he ran up to her, putting on his best pout and swinging an arm around her shoulders. She glared at him and he carefully removed it and took a step back. Right. No touching.

“Mianmian!” he panted, eyes swimming with both remembered beauty and mortification equally, “The man- the bell- his eyes- and he just came in!” His voice was rising dangerously, and Mianmian thankfully stopped him before the taco place next door banged on the wall again, or worse, Lan Zhan, heard him.

“Wei Ying. Bi Disaster. Whichever you prefer,” her flat voice cut through his panic and grounded him, like a mother forcing her child into a life jacket against his will. Mianmian was great. “First off, my name is Grandmaster Luo, as per our agreement if I won the bet. Which I did.”

An exclamation of protest came from Wei Ying. It was ignored which was completely unfair because the bet had been who could last the longest without getting drunk, and sure, technically, Wei Ying got drunk first, but Mianmian had just been sipping the same cocktail the whole night!

“Second, who are you talking about and why does it involve me?” Mianmian had closed last night, too. Usually, she was much more pleasant than Wei Ying was in the morning, but today he’d taken one look at her and offered to work the counter. He’d rather not have to file a witness statement for a murder he’d seen committed at six in the morning, thank you very much. His memory was bad on a good day. He contemplated for a moment if Lan Zhan would be able to handle her and vice versa, but he hadn’t seen so much as a wince from him when the man was literally blackout drunk, so Wei Ying was willing to chance it. Who could get mad at such a perfect face anyway?

“Luo-jie,” he whined, “it’s Lan Zhan.”

“What, another ex?” She looked unimpressed.

“No! I haven’t dated anyone since the guitarist, you know that!” The guitarist—Wei Ying had blocked his name, which he remembered to be just as sexy as the rest of him, out of his mind—had been a mistake to begin with; a summer hope that turned out to be all riffs and no harmony.

She just looked confused, now. Well, guess she wasn’t lying when she’d said she tunes him out.

“No, no! Luo-jie, this is Lan Zhan . From the bar. Last week?” He winced at the memory.

“Oh. Your soulmate,” she said, as if this was common knowledge to the man waiting outside.

“Shh! Not so loud, what if he hears?”

The look she gave him this time was beyond tired, the sort of look his old government teacher used to give him when he derailed the discussion for the third time. Fond memories.

She appears to give up on the conversation entirely, brushing past him and moving toward the door. “Wei Ying, we’re talking about this. Later.” She pauses, and before he can embarrass her for caring about him, she says, “I saw him. A man that beautiful doesn’t deserve to be stuck with a soulmark he can’t remember. Even if it is to you.” Ah, there was that smirk he knew and loved!

Mianmian informed him when Lan Zhan left only a few minutes later. Apparently, he had asked for a lemongrass tea and nothing else. He hadn’t said a word about Wei Ying, or even The Insane Barista. Wei Ying was not upset by this, truly. All it meant was that the call he’d received the morning after their...escapades...had been honestly meant. His mind drifted back to Saturday morning as he mindlessly retook his position at the counter and finished his shift.

Wei Ying bolted up, his cheap twin bed creaking in protest as his phone blared the opening bars of Britney Spears’ Toxic—his ringtone—far too loudly. (If he let it keep ringing, it was just the first, really annoying bars, repeated over and over. He was unbearably smug about it.)

He reached over, trying to ignore his pounding head, and nearly dropped the phone before managing to accept the call. He mumbled out, “Hi this is-” before a deep, slightly groggy voice cuts him off.

“I have called to apologize for last night.” Apologize? Wait, was this- “I do not know what I said or did after drinking the alcohol-” Lan Zhan? “-but my brother informs me that you brought me home.” It must be. Though, technically, Jiang Cheng did the actual driving. He, after all, had not been drunk.

“Well, actually-” he was cut off again. Funny, Wei Ying thought sardonically, he remembered Lan Zhan being more polite than this. Even when they’d vandalized  the dumpster together, he’d insisted they leave room for future law breakers.

“I am grateful for that.” There was a pause, evidently for Lan Zhan to gather his thoughts. Wei Ying decided not to test his luck and gather his own as well. His brain typically didn’t wake up till at least nine on the weekends, but here he was—he checked his phone—at seven AM on a Saturday trying to have a conversation with a guy that refused to listen to a thing he said.

He didn’t remember much about last night, but that was normal for him. If past experiences were to be learned from, most of it would come to him later in flashes and pitfalls of regret. Still, he’d thought… He freed his left hand from where it was tangled in the sheets and—just sat there and blinked at it. Yeah, that was a fully-colored soulmark, to be sure. Which was—something he’d never had before.

Just yesterday, the twisting lines that covered his left palm and creeped though his knuckles were black and lifeless. Now, his hand looked like some sort of moving painting. The dull, monotone patterns had shifted, forming blue and white elegant clouds and delicate red lotus petals that swirled around each other as if moved by wind. He bent his fingers to trace the lines.

He hadn’t dreamed it then! He and Lan Zhan were soulmates and he was talking to his soulmate (or his soulmate was talking to him) and take that Jiang Cheng!

Lan Zhan was speaking, “-we should not contact each other again. Goodbye.”

No. No! Lan Zhan didn’t know! “Wait!” but the call had already ended.

He’d needed the whole weekend on his jiejie’s couch with ice cream and soup to feel better about the whole business. See, the thing was, he wanted to talk to Lan Zhan about it. Mianmian was right; it wasn’t fair that the man now had a soulmark and no clue who he was tied to for life—literally. Once found, soulmates lived and died together, unless a powerful enough rejection broke the bond.

Every time Wei Ying opened the contact he’d created on his phone, he found himself shying away, a knot of anxiety coiling in his stomach and threatening to boil over into panic as it bound his hands and prevented any communication with Lan Zhan. He’d studied soulmates before, had taken two elective classes on them his freshman year of college. He knew the fear of a severed bond was merely psychological, a flight reaction to rejection.

Severed bonds were permanent and caused by verbal or otherwise evident rejection of a relationship between soulmates. Physically, soulmarks kept their color but stopped swirling across the skin, an obvious sign which led to the Unmoving’s ever-shifting status in society. Emotionally, the soulmates often sank into depression. And so it was ingrained into the body that such experiences should be avoided. Wei Ying’s worry, the possibility of never seeing Lan Zhan again, the fear that his soulmate didn’t want him, pushed his body to such reactions. The whole thing made it frustratingly difficult to just talk to him.

Mianmian remembered to catch him just as he was leaving. She’d spotted him while on her way to her old mustang and had flagged him down like he was speeding in a school zone.

In typical Mianmian style, she gave him a once over, noted his stressed and slightly shaky appearance and declared, “You need to call him. I know you have his number.” Maybe she did listen, sometimes.

He sighed, a burst of warm air that puffed out before him and chilled, disappearing as surely as his prospects with Lan Zhan. “It’s not that I don’t want to.” A look. “I’m not being evasive! I really, really do want to tell him. I know he doesn’t-” a pause, and he continued quieter, “doesn’t remember me or our bond but he’s so kind, he might accept it anyway. He did seem enthusiastic when he was drunk. But…”

Mianmian’s eyes softened and her face looked completely different. “I know I don’t tell you because frankly your head is usually too large to make it through the door in the morning, but you’re not bad-looking or mean or stupid. I mean, maybe you are sometimes and you can’t expect to match your Lan Zhan for beauty, but it’s not like you don’t have a chance.” The last time he’d heard this tone from her was when he’d had a breakdown in their walk-in refrigerator. It was strangely calming, bringing to mind his sister and her gentle touches.

He smiled, chuckling softly. “It’s not that. I know I’m a catch! Though maybe a ten where Lan Zhan’s off the scale,” he joked, “But I just physically can’t confess or whatever to him. He- he almost rejected me once, though he didn’t know about the bond. And maybe it’s not fair, but I can only picture a still soulmark whenever I consider calling him.” He hated revealing that about himself, but he knew Mianmian. They went out for drinks most Fridays and she could sniff out a lie from him while drunk and flirting with a different dude. Besides, despite her thorny words and genuine annoyance with him, she did care. She’d even treated him to drinks on his birthday.

Mianmian looked at him consideringly and nodded. She understood. “You’re scheduled for most of the morning shifts now since those two students were hired. I’ll try to join you and work the counter for a while.” She turned decisively and got in her car, accepting his thanks with a nod. ”Don’t be late.”

*~*~*~*~*

During the following week, they established a routine. He and Mianmian would arrive at the coffee shop, baking and preparing together until six when they opened. Wei Ying would disappear into the back room, getting blends together and cleaning until Lan Zhan left at around 6:30. He showed up at 6:05 most days, give or take a few minutes. On one notable occasion, he had walked up (he walked! When it was literally freezing outside!) to the cafe at 5:55 and Mianmian had graciously let him in while Wei Ying made himself scarce.

Strangely, not once had Lan Zhan ordered coffee. In the coffee shop! Instead, he asked for infuriatingly healthy teas and protein bars which unfortunately did not include Wei Ying's prized creation: sweet habanero bars. Wei Ying had started to wonder why he even came. Their tea wasn't even that good! Not that Wei Ying liked tea, particularly, so he had to admit that he was perhaps not the best judge.

Still, he wondered if the punctual ringing of the bell had anything to do with the pull in his own hand, in his own mind, that wanted him to be closer to Lan Zhan. That wanted him to touch him, to talk to him, to accept him. Soulmarks, after all, did not care if one knew their soulmate or not. They were connected anyway.

One day, a week after the near-disastrous second meeting, Mianmian had to take off. She'd been applying for jobs recently, hoping to find a secretarial position with stable enough hours and pay to allow her to continue her schooling in law. A place nearby had allowed an interview and she didn't have time to take the morning shift.

So here Wei Ying was at six in the morning, working the counter as an exhausted student he wasn't letting within ten feet of the espresso machine stumbled around in the back room. He was stressed himself, but for once it seemed to work in his favor, tiring him out so completely that he'd fallen asleep while the clock was still on PM. He figured if he had to see his soulmate today, at least he wouldn't look like the zombie he normally did.

Wei Ying watched as a figure in a blue the color of his soulmark— their soulmark, as he'd learned the patterns and colors of pairs tended to be mirrors of each other—strode, sure and steady, through the door right as the grandfather clock in the corner struck 6:05.

A flicker of something passed through those golden eyes—surprise, maybe?—as he approached the counter. Just like before, Wei Ying's heart began beating wildly, echoing loudly in his ears and nearly deafening him. This time, however, he could also feel a slight tug, like a silk string had wrapped itself around his heart and was now gently pulling him closer to its other end. His soulmate.

A deep, quiet voice cut through his thoughts, and he quickly lowered the hand, his left one, that had been slowly reaching out. As he came back to awareness, he was suddenly beyond grateful for the gloves he'd decided to wear today. His mark would be a dead giveaway. "Good morning. Is there a certain tea blend you would suggest?"

For a moment, Wei Ying was taken aback, distracted by the man's voice and lost in his eyes, not completely comprehending the question. "Wh- What?" he stammered. "Oh, um, I'm more of a coffee guy myself, what do you usually get?" He spoke quickly, the words tumbling out of his mouth. Was he revealing too much? Now Lan Zhan knew that Wei Ying knew he was a regular customer! Should he have just said Citrus! Tried and true ?

Lan Zhan's brow furrowed, a minuscule movement that would have been lost had Wei Ying not spent the last eternity staring at his eyes. He opened his mouth and Wei Ying decided that it was best if he focused on something else, in the interest of his own health. "I will take whichever coffee you prefer."

Wei Ying was speechless, a feat not many had achieved. Over the last week, he had used Mianmian as a spy, asking detailed questions about everything that Lan Zhan did. She was a surprisingly good sport about. The point was, Lan Zhan had always ordered tea, a different blend each day, and never anything else.

Lan Zhan turned around, unbothered by Wei Ying's confused and flustered state, and sat down at a two-person table next to the bookshelf. He pulled out a laptop from his bag and began typing away. Wei Ying squinted at the screen in disbelief, but couldn't make out the words from this angle.

He shook himself and went about preparing the mocha, opting to skip over the spice he liked to add. A memory of a truth-or-dare game in which Lan Zhan admitted disliking spicy foods provided a hazy warning. A shame, if you asked Wei Ying, but he hadn't. Wei Ying had told him anyway.

He paused before bringing the drink over to his soulmate. It just looked so sad, both the drink and Lan Zhan, sitting quietly in an empty coffee shop as the sky only just began to awaken. He still didn't think he could properly talk to the man if his performance earlier was anything to go by, but maybe he could...

He reached into the display case, wrapped his gift in a napkin, and delivered Lan Zhan's drink, a little addition tucked neatly beside it. He turned and just about ran to the counter, pulling out a rag and cleaning non-existent spills until Lan Zhan left.

When he finally heard the door close, Wei Ying straightened up from his bunker and drifted, dazed, over to clean Lan Zhan's table, finding only an empty cup. Wei Ying smiled. His heart-shaped ginger cookie hadn't been abandoned, despite the bold way it was offered. Perhaps he wouldn't be, either.

Emboldened by his success, Wei Ying called Mianmian and resumed his position at the counter, a plan formed and ready to be completed. He wasn't sure if it was caused by the civil and promising conversation yesterday or sheer eagerness, but he thought, just maybe, that he'd be able to get himself to talk to Lan Zhan. Hopefully.

*~*~*~*~*

At 6:05, Wei Ying was doubting his chances. He watched as Lan Zhan walked up to the counter, just as confidently as he had the day before, steadily getting closer. As Wei Ying had found tended to happen when one moved. His breathing quickened, the now expected response to his soulmate's presence, and he responded to the sharp tug in his chest by stepping back, just slightly. He was distinctly reminded of a prey animal trapped by a predator.

Instead of biting his head off, Lan Zhan simply stepped up to the counter and examined the fresh pastries sitting in the display case, for whatever reason ignoring the barista's slightly gaping mouth.

Wei Ying swallowed, stood up straighter than he did when he visited Madam Yu, and summoned up this morning's courage that had so suddenly abandoned his poor self.

"Welcome to Latte Mugs Cafe! What can I get you?" There, his voice barely shook!

Lan Zhan hummed—wow, that was way hotter than it should have been—and tilted his head just the slightest bit to glance at the menu on the wall. "I will have a mocha."

He'd liked it then! Wei Ying hadn't pegged Lan Zhan as a chocolate person, but he supposed he might have a secret sweet tooth. "No problem. It'll only take a few minutes. Would you like to make it a Mexican mocha?" He couldn't help but recommend it, not after he'd worked so hard to get it on the menu. He'd written an essay to the owner. Besides, he'd taken Wei Ying’s mocha suggestion and eaten his cookie. He wondered what Lan Zhan would do with something Wei Ying knew he didn’t like.

His stomach turned a little at the thought that he was getting to know more about Lan Zhan and he wondered idly if he could really blame all of this on their soul bond or if he should take responsibility for his traitorous heart. He dismissed the thought. If anything, Lan Zhan should be the one taking responsibility merely by virtue of existing. That thought twisted his insides even more. Ugh .

Lan Zhan gave a little noise that Wei Ying chose to interpret as assent before sitting back down. He stared in surprise for a minute at his turned back before carefully preparing the drink. When it was done, he once again paused before rounding the counter. Surely, Lan Zhan needed to eat something with his coffee. Who knew if he'd even eaten breakfast? He bent down, scanning the available treats, and plucked one from the shelf, placing it carefully on a napkin before bouncing over to Lan Zhan's little table by the bookshelf, trademark grin in place. Courage, don't fail me now.

"Hello, Sir! One mexican mocha right here!" All of his best (and worst) decisions had been made by following his instincts. He pulled the chair around from the other side of the table, scraping it loudly across the rough tile, and decidedly sat down, holding out his bright red offering with only a moderate heart attack. "It's a habanero bar! I made the recipe and it pairs perfectly with the Mexican mocha, trust me. Oh, and I'll pay for it, of course." Technically untrue, but he didn't think he could steal something he'd made.

Lan Zhan looked a little surprised if Wei Ying had interpreted the meaning of that blink correctly. Was he regretting his spicy choices? Still, he reached out a hand and took the treat with an appreciative nod. "Thank you, Wei Ying."

What. "Eh? How'd you know my name?" Oh please for the love of all that is beautiful, don't bring up the bar. Lan Zhan had forgotten. He had! But if he hadn't, then...

"Your name tag."

Oh. Maybe the three coffees he'd had this morning in preparation had...altered his cognitive abilities. At least, that was the story he was going with.

"Well! You have me at a disadvantage, then!” Yeah, because he’s hiding a night of crimes and a soul bond from you. “What might the name of this handsome one be?" Should he be flirting? Where was the button to turn it off?? Then again, Lan Zhan was his soulmate . If there was one person in his life he was supposed to flirt with, surely it was him.

"Lan Zhan." Were his ears red? Was he hot? Was he blushing ? The rest of his face maintained its pale composure, but his ears were gently dusted pink. Lan Zhan had been inside too long to attribute it to the biting wind outside. Wei Ying's grin widened. Not even when the man had woken up wasted had he seen him blush!

"Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan," he rolled the well-worn name in his mouth, a teasing lilt to his voice as he tasted how his tongue completed a pleasant circle around the syllables. This time, their flavor was not regretful or drunken or stressed. Simply Lan Zhan.

Wei Ying did not leave. Instead, he just started talking about all sorts of things—his job, his siblings, Mianmian. As he fell into the familiar pattern of rambling for as long as people will listen, he found himself relaxing.

"You'd think we wouldn't be that great of friends. We're coworkers in a coffee shop! But even though she claims I'm an annoying gremlin who wouldn't know his head from a rock in a lineup, she still comes out to get drinks with me—at Marco's, a few minutes away—every Friday. Sometimes, she even brings her new boyfriends! Which is like taking your partner to meet the weird relatives. I think she might use it as some sort of test. I drink them under the table nearly every time, though, so I hope they failed." He realizes, belatedly, that he'd accidentally mentioned the bar. One of literally two subjects to avoid. He discreetly eyed Lan Zhan's face, but there was no reaction, no indication of familiarity, just two golden eyes, gazing at him with interest as his soulmate listened.

Wei Ying’s heart stuttered, dangerously close to giving out altogether.

Eventually, Lan Zhan had to leave, quick movements revealing just how late he was for music lessons—he taught children to play the guqin! For a living!—and Wei Ying smiled brightly as he watched him disappear down the street. See , he thought to himself, there was nothing to be worried about.

The plan had gone off without a hitch. Not only had he managed to talk to Lan Zhan, but he'd also been able to get several responses from him, filling up the part of his memory reserved for the man he wouldn't ever forget.

These new pearls of knowledge he kept close: Lan Zhan was a music teacher and occasional performer with a local traditional music group. He taught and played the guqin most often but had played the violin in his high school orchestra. During his studies for university, he had learned several other string instruments and the french horn. He had an older brother, Lan Huan. He liked rabbits.

During the course of the next week, he learned these things and protected them: Lan Zhan and his brother had been raised by their uncle. They were not religious, but his family was traditional. Lan Zhan had gone to a private school. He hadn't liked it. Lan Zhan's mother was dead. He spoke of his father in the past tense. Both of his parents were Unmoving, their soul bonds broken. Lan Zhan hadn’t known if they were meant for each other or not. He despised lying in all of its forms.

There were also these things which laid soft and fond in Wei Ying's heart: Lan Zhan did not, in fact, like spice. He enjoyed drinking tea and reading a book in the park when it was warm outside. He preferred mysteries. He did not mind Wei Ying's chatter. He adored his students, one of which had little natural talent but had gone to region-wide contests. He was a lover of poetry and a hobbiest composer. He said "Wei Ying" as if the world spun around his name.

Talking with Lan Zhan was an experience greater than words. Many things Lan Zhan meant, he did not say. None of the things he said were to be taken for granted. With him, silence was just as comforting a companion as the loud atmosphere Wei Ying tended to create. It settled peaceful and honest around them. They sat, drank, and ate together as if they were friends of many years and not relative acquaintances. Like there wasn’t a secret resting between them like a viper waiting for its prey.

*~*~*~*~*

A week after their first meeting, it snowed. Flakes drifted down beneath a grey sky, piling up in the cracks on the sidewalks, on the windowsills, dusting the beanie of a certain Lan Zhan that strode in slowly even as he shivered from beneath his coat. Rosy cheeks and ears adorned a normally pale, jade-like face, tousled hair falling down to frame it as he removed the beanie. Wei Ying fell in love a little more at the adorable scene.

Once he’d made Lan Zhan's spiced apple tea, Wei Ying drifted over with his own latte, a chocolate chip cookie in hand.

"Do you own a car, Lan Zhan?" Wei Ying was curious. Surely he could have simply driven here, or even gone straight to work and skipped the weather entirely.

"Mn. I have lessons all over the city and we often perform hours away from here." Then why , Wei Ying thought, would you come here when it’s below freezing outside? He did not voice the question, though, because Lan Zhan's jaw had shifted just slightly, the difference a clear declaration: his mind could not be changed about this. Fine. He’d let Lan Zhan live with his choices.

Wei Ying laughed and changed the subject, reaching out to draw patterns in the cream of Lan Zhan’s coffee with his straw . "When's your next performance?"

Lan Zhan sat for a moment, thinking. "We do not have one lined up. We've been practicing to release an album recently."

"Oh really? Why? Just earlier this week you mentioned that the group didn't have the resources for it." He really hoped they would, though. Maybe with a solo piece from Lan Zhan? He hadn't heard him play yet, a true shame.

"Mn. I found a sound artist." His voice was sure and steady as he stared at Wei Ying, who looked away and chuckled awkwardly.

"You should have told me that was all you needed! I would have done the job for free, as long as you played for me. I have a bachelor's in audio engineering, you know!" To be honest, Wei Ying was a little hurt that he'd not been considered, or else Lan Zhan had tuned him out during one of the times when he had just spewed whatever came to mind.

Before he turned around, he felt a hand on his through his left glove and he flinched at the sensitive contact on his mark. Still, he longed to grasp Lan Zhan’s hand and never let go .  "Wei Ying. It is you," he paused, and slowly removed his hand, the echoes of his fingertips burning trails on Wei Ying's skin even through the fabric. "If you choose to accept." He takes a breath, and says, quieter, "I would like it very much if you did."

Like a lightbulb turned back on, Wei Ying brightened immediately, an obvious flush of embarrassment darkening his cheeks. He leaned forward, throwing his arms around Lan Zhan in a hug both to hide his face and to just get closer. Wei Ying mumbled into his shoulder, "Of course. Of course I accept. Thank you so much!" He leaned back after a too-short moment, looking Lan Zhan in the eyes and smiling. "When do I start?"

They settled all the details. Wei Ying would be attending their 6 PM practice three days a week for a month before recording and editing the final tracks. He would, actually, be paid, though they couldn't afford the usual rates. That was fine with him. Really, he just needed to put something in the ‘Experience’ section of his resume. Well, plus his overwhelming desire to hear Lan Zhan play his guqin.

When Lan Zhan opened the door to leave, Wei Ying called out for him to stop. He stepped forward exactly one step, in a completely normal and not-at-all-nervous way. He opened his mouth, closed it, and blurted out before he could change his mind, "Doyouwannagetdinnerwithme?"

Lan Zhan gave him a flat look, but the mischievous glint in his eyes betrayed his understanding. Wei Ying took a steadying breath, fought the urge to glare, and stated loudly and clearly, "Will you go out with me later tonight?” His face felt like it was on fire. “As thanks for the job?" No one would ever guess the stone-faced man had a sense of humor, but Wei Ying was living evidence of it.

Finally, after a beat of silence during which Wei Ying mourned his stolen heart, Lan Zhan nodded once. "I will pick you up at your house at seven. Where do you live?"

The pure excitement that filled Wei Ying at Lan Zhan’s acceptance prevented any protest about how he was supposed to take Lan Zhan out and gave the man his address. As the ever-present bell marked Lan Zhan's departure, all Wei Ying could think was that he had a date. That he had a chance .

His palm tingled in anticipation as he ran to the back room to tell Mianmian the good news, filled with all the details she couldn’t get while eavesdropping.

*~*~*~*~*

Five minutes after getting in the car, Wei Ying regretted letting Lan Zhan drive. He should have risked his unused license or else simply called a cab because they were nowhere near the restaurant he had suggested, and he didn't know what to tell Lan Zhan if the man picked a nicer place. A barista was only paid so much!

Still, Lan Zhan refused to turn the car around or even explain himself when Wei Ying asked. He simply kept his eyes fixed on the road, staring at it as if it might disappear if refused Lan Zhan’s attention (Wei Ying sympathized). That determined set to his jaw was firmly in place. His eyes narrowed, and Wei Ying had the distinct impression that he was a man on a mission. Wei Ying just wished he'd been given a briefing.

Cars passed in pools of red and white that blended well into the background of a late December metropolis. Only about a week was left until Christmas and the trees were adorned with brightly glowing lights that bathed the streets in a familiar mix of artificial fluorescence and beauty.

He liked this time of year, enjoyed how his apartment complex decorated its buildings, smiled when the granny next door brought him homemade cookies and hot chocolate. He didn't even mind the cold that much, not when branching frost framed the windows and Lan Zhan's cheeks flushed red.

They were stuck in Friday night traffic for longer than he suspected Lan Zhan had planned, based on the finger softly tapping on the wheel, but eventually, Lan Zhan drove into a parking garage a good distance away from any restaurant Wei Ying knew and got out.

They walked a few blocks, glad for the several layers of clothes (Wei Ying actually had a reason to wear gloves, for once), before stopping at the entrance to one of the city's parks. A stone path twisted through the trees, a canopy of a million white stars enclosing the area and welcoming the two of them.

He grinned, turning to Lan Zhan and teasing, "I think we skipped a step. Romantic walks through the woods go after dinner."

A drawn-out, "Mn," the one that meant 'ridiculous', was the only answer he received. Instead, Lan Zhan smiled , which—wow. Illegal.—and offered Wei Ying his arm with far too much confidence. He blushed, hoped it wasn't visible in the lighting, and took it, only feeling slightly like some sort of flustered Victorian maiden.

Did Lan Zhan know what he was doing? Did he take every friend and business associate out to fairy gardens when they asked him to dinner?

Thoroughly confused but aware that Lan Zhan wasn't going to answer any pointed questions, he decided to enjoy the evening and pester him about the food instead.

"Lan Zhaaan," he whined, staring at the way the lights gave Lan Zhan's face an ethereal glow, " “When are you going to feed your poor A-Ying?"

At this, Lan Zhan put his other hand on Wei Ying's where it was nestled in the crook of his elbow in a comforting gesture and reassured, his voice calm, "We are almost there."

Wei Ying spent the rest of the walk as he was accustomed to doing around Lan Zhan—talking his ear off. He admired the lights, expressed his appreciation for Lan Zhan's outfi—a dark blue coat over Wei Ying's favorite knitted white sweater—and asked about the songs his group had chosen for their concert.

He couldn't wait to hear Lan Zhan play. He suspected music was the quieter man's true outlet for expressing his feelings, a language without the burden of words.

Lan Zhan spoke too, not as often or as loud, but he answered and asked questions of his own. Did Wei Ying play an instrument too? He had—flute in high school, though he preferred the piccolo, all the better to annoy people with. Portable, too! Why did he like alcohol? It was the experience, more than the taste, especially at a cheap place like Marco's. Was he planning on getting his Master's? He wasn't sure. He wanted to pay off some of his student loans before getting deeper in debt.

The easy conversation made Wei Ying relax, happy as always to be around Lan Zhan. It was strange to think that a week ago, he’d never met the man. He didn’t think he could live without him now.

Finally, they took a smaller, branching path, and Wei Ying gasped at its end; a white gazebo bathed in soft purple lights sat like a fairy house among gleaming trees.

He released Lan Zhan's elbow and took a step forward before looking back at his companion with an open mouth.

"You...you arranged all of this?" he asked, wonder coloring his voice.

Another "Mn," accompanied by a self-satisfied tightening of the mouth.

Wei Ying had long since given up trying to understand any of Lan Zhan's actions, but he was hopelessly endeared all the same. He grabbed his arm again, this time pulling him up the wooden steps and squealing in glee.

To one side there was a table laden with all sorts of foods, including, he was overjoyed to note, many dyed deliciously red. On the other side of the gazebo, a long, low table sat, a intricately carved, dark guqin resting atop it. A cushion, metal heater, and blanket were laid before the instrument, ready for use.

Impressed, Wei Ying went to inspect the dishes closer, his growling stomach refusing to wait any longer. He wondered at what time today Lan Zhan had time to set all of this up. Had he canceled some of his lessons?

Sitting down, he voiced his question, mouth watering at the appetizing smells.

Lan Zhan filled both of their plates, picking out for him nearly exactly what Wei Ying would have chosen, and answered, "I reserved the gazebo, but my brother set this up less than an hour ago." Wei Ying was incredibly grateful for Lan Huan. His food was still hot!

The meal passed mostly in silence. Though Lan Zhan had no problem talking over tea, he did not like to have a conversation around bites of food. For once, Wei Ying was happy not to say anything, simply appreciating the companionship and good meal.

He tried not to think too much about why Lan Zhan was doing all of this. He wasn't stupid, was in fact painfully and adoringly aware of the romantic setting, but that fear he had thought long since gone crept around his heart, daring him to hope and be crushed in its vindication. So he swallowed his words and ate his food in borrowed peace.

By the time they finished, Wei Ying's stomach was pleasantly full and he beamed at Lan Zhan, thanking him for the meal. Lan Zhan nodded and stood up, helping Wei Ying to his feet and leading him to the waiting cushion and—Wei Ying hoped—the performance.

"You really prepared!" He teased, pulling the blanket over himself.

Lan Zhan turned on the heater—the quiet, expensive kind—and hummed.

Then, he lowered himself onto his own cushion (sans blanket) and reached out to his guqin, warming up for a moment before glancing at Wei Ying, a suddenly hesitant edge to his eyes. "Are you ready?"

Wei Ying's smile softened and he nodded, fondness for the talented man before him almost unbearable. Lan Zhan returned his focus to the instrument and began to play.

It felt like the constant tug around his heart, like the many words that lay behind them and the greater part left unspoken, like 6:05 in the morning and laughter that tastes like coffee beans.

He closed his eyes and let the music fill him, heart thrumming in time with the music and creating  streams of pure feeling that branched out through his body until it reached his left palm. Wei Ying curled his hand in on itself. He wanted to memorize the sensation, its slight pain magnified and singular, but still a pull, a tug on his very soul. The feeling that encouraged him, warned him around Lan Zhan, his longing.

Wei Ying opened his eyes, simply gazing at where Lan Zhan kneeled behind his guqin, the gazebo’s lights framing his form as his graceful hands plucked at the strings, playing a song straight from his soul. He breathed in the cold air, letting it calm him and douse the burning in his veins.

As he played, Wei Ying felt his fear melt in the face of the pure emotion Lan Zhan channeled through the strings, felt his guilt harden into resolve because Lan Zhan didn’t know.

He kept silent for the moment, though. He needed to let Lan Zhan finish the piece, not only because silencing those strings now when all of Lan Zhan’s soul shaped the notes seemed cruel, but also because Wei Ying was greedy, and selfish. He wanted to keep this last, perfect memory, wanted to lock it in his heart like a golden thorn, a stolen parting gift if his words were not welcomed.

And so Lan Zhan played.

Wei Ying could not say how long it was before the song ended, could only center his mind around the swirling clouds that he knew curled across his palm, hidden like a shame when they were anything but. Finally, the last notes faded like acceptance into the cold night, and Wei Ying breathed in, and out, and longed.

“Lan Zhan.” It came out as a whisper, a ghost of a declaration. He needed a barrier between the song and his precipice of honesty. “What-” he stalled, biting back the hope, the despair. “What did you name it?���

Lan Zhan raised his gaze from where it had been fixed on the instrument, seeking out Wei Ying. He stood up in one smooth motion and crossed to where Wei Ying sat, pinned beneath golden eyes filled with something . An emotion he hadn’t seen, hadn’t categorized.

Carefully, Lan Zhan lowered himself to sit on the large cushion. He slid his gaze to Wei Ying’s left hand clenched on his knee, lifting his own and gently taking it, seeming to gauge Wei Ying’s reaction, but he only tilted his head in confusion. Why..?

Lan Zhan began pulling off his glove.

Wei Ying yanked his hand back. He couldn’t- why would he? He was going to tell him about the mark, but why did he want to know? Did he suspect he was Unmoving? Would he hate him if he knew the truth? That Wei Ying had played him for a fool, too cowardly to tell him about their bond?

At the stressed, almost wounded look in Lan Zhan’s eyes, Wei Ying made an aborted movement, reaching to comfort him. “Oh, Lan Zhan…” he breathed. He didn’t touch him, but after a moment of hesitation, offered his hand to his soulmate, palm up. Lan Zhan had merely been braver than he had, after all. The result would be the same.

Lan Zhan’s eyes softened and he carefully tugged off the glove, revealing the incriminating, promising, honest pattern. Twisting designs of blue clouds and red lotuses covered both their palms, side by side, blurred together as his throat closed and breath hitched. He made to move away, to leave Lan Zhan with the knowledge of his lie, but his wrist was gently but firmly held in place.

He sighed. Lan Zhan wanted him to say it, to confess, and suddenly the courage of a few minutes ago seemed out of his reach.

“Lan Zhan, you’re so good. Too good. Too good for me.” His breath caught. “I- I’ve known. This whole time.” He looked Lan Zhan in his clear, gentle eyes. “Lan Zhan. We’re soulmates. We have been since you got drunk at the bar.” He let out a shaky laugh, the first tear making its way down his cheek. “Well, I suppose we’ve been soulmates forever, but I found you then, and fell in love a little. You don’t remember, but you said you were happy. You went around showing random people your mark.” He was rambling again, but he couldn’t stop and nor could he leave.

He released it all, all of the caged words he should have laid at Lan Zhan’s feet a week ago. “I was so excited when you called me that morning. I thought you wanted to talk, to form a real relationship, but then you- you wouldn’t listen and it wasn’t your fault , you’d been drunk for the first time in your life, had a killer hangover I’m sure. But I- I thought if I called you, you’d just do the same thing again and leave me but then we became friends and I didn't want you to leave so I didn’t tell you and-”

“I am not.” Lan Zhan cut him off, voice quiet and pained, but firm.

“What?” he sniffled.

“I have not left you. I am not abandoning you, Wei Ying.” His eyes were pleading, filled with sincerity. He looked—so earnest and Wei Ying froze, uncertain.

“But—you hate lying.”

“I do not like hypocrites either. Wei Ying-” He looked away for the first time and Wei Ying panicked for a brief moment, what did I do wrong , before Lan Zhan spoke again, ears a deeper shade of red. “I knew too. This whole time.”

“What.” What?? Whatever Wei Ying had been expecting, it hadn’t been this.

“My brother was there at the bar. He...told me the next morning, but I did not handle the news well. I am sorry. I was simply surprised, and nervous. I did not remember you.”

Wei Ying was reeling. Lan Zhan knew and didn’t tell him but that was unfair because Wei Ying hadn’t told him either, so they’d both known, separately, and here they were, taking each other on a date and Wei Ying laughed, crazed at first, and desperate, but then an exclamation of pure joy. The atmosphere was romantic, after all.

He laughed and laughed and like a guqin string worn from loving use, the tension broke. He threw himself at his soulmate, at Lan Zhan, and hugged him until Lan Zhan hugged him back, until their eyes stung from tears and their voices grew hoarse from repeating the other’s name.

Wei Ying pulled back, cheeks flushed in the cold and eyes shining as he looked up at a soft smile. He reached out, cupping Lan Zhan’s cheek and resting their foreheads together, the contact burning, melting the longing that had become a permanent fixture  inside of him. Breaths mingled, puffing out in this warm space between them for a timeless moment.

With confidence born not from instinct or daring, but rather a heart securely held, he closed the distance between them, brushing winter-chapped lips against Lan Zhan’s soft ones, his last confession a raw whisper, returned with the same gravity it was given.

From then on, he held this warm truth in his heart: Lan Zhan loved Wei Ying, his soulmate.

Breathless and overwhelmed, he entwined their hands, bared patterns moving against each other, together. Nothing lay between them now, no confessions and no secrets. Only these: a prayer, a completed promise, and a bright future.

Extra:

“So, how did you know?” Wei Ying asked, exploring Lan Zhan’s purse.

He hummed, amused. “You told me yourself.”

“I did not! I’m pretty sure that was, like, goal number one. ‘Don’t tell Lan Zhan!’” he recited, voice playfully serious.

Lan Zhan brushed the hair out of Wei Ying’s eyes and took his left hand, fingers tracing the evidence of their bond.

“You waved.”

“But I had on gloves- oh.” He hadn’t, not yet. He only started wearing them after Lan Zhan had walked in the first day. “So you walked into some random shop and saw your soulmate who immediately disappeared.”

“Mn.” Lips brushed the top of his head.

Wei Ying laughed at himself as he went back to the purse. You could learn a lot from what a person kept in theirs! He pulled out a piece of paper, a half-composed score, handing it to Lan Zhan and looking deeper. Some chapstick (no wonder his lips were so soft!), several pens, a book on music theory, and—what was this? He grabbed it and brought it to the light. One of the cafe’s napkins, something wrapped inside. What? He peeled away the months-old paper, a breath caught in his lungs as the object was revealed.

It was the cookie, the heart-shaped ginger crisp he’d given Lan Zhan the first time he’d taken his order.

“You! What am I going to do with you!” he laughed, the sound bright and joyful as he tackled his soulmate in a hug.

“Marry me.”

“WHAT?!!”

[doc-pickles]

it’s nothing funny just to talk (p.2)

What happens when you text that random number graffitied on a bathroom stall in your favorite bar? Jo Wilson is about to find out. - In which Bar Princess and Doctor Evil Spawn meet via text.

Saturday 12:09 PM

you know what might be worse than pyramid schemes?

bridal showers

this is horrendous 

Same woman you were drinking in solidarity to?

obviously, I have like four friends 

I thought teachers were like outgoing and bubbly?

oh hell no, socializing is not my cup of tea

one of the other bridesmaids just asked who i was texting so I told her jack the ripper

Oh you couldn’t even give me a good one

i’m gonna pretend you didn’t say that 

My day off and the weekend finally coincide, which means I’m not leaving my couch all day. 

I wish I were you this shower is gonna kill me 

teachers on the weekend are a fun sight to see

You’re not partaking this time?

no i’m DD

it’s for the best, I did throw up on my shoes last weekend 

How crazy is a bridal shower that you need a DD?

there’s a mimosa bar and they’re already playing never have I ever

the mother of the groom is starting something with the mother of the bride

I gotta deal with this 

  Saturday 3:11 PM

I deserve bottle of wine for all of the shit I dealt with today

I never wanna be a maid of honor ever again

Maybe we should rename you Maid of Dishonor?

wooooooow

I throw up on my shoes ONE TIME

How’d the battle of the mothers go?

oh it was horrendous 

groom is from a rich family and bride grew up on a farm… you know how it goes 

Doesn’t sound fun. Glad you made it out. 

barely

how’s your day off going

Amazing. I get to watch baseball and sit on the couch with a bag of chips and a beer. I’m living the dream. 

I envy you

they’re making us go out again

Do you get to drink during this escapade?

yes thank god

manhattan or moscow mule?

A whiskey drinker? You might be the perfect woman. 

don’t try to butter me up, i’ve never even met you in person

We can change that. 

  Saturday 6:14 PM

Do you think birds have dreams?

I thought I was supposed to get drunk

You were talking too long. And I’m not drunk. 

I can’t think of another reason why you’d ask me about bird dreams

You’re a teacher. I was curios. 

i’m not a bird specialist

personally I do not think that birds can dream

I’m telling them you said that. 

the birds?

Yes. They deserve to know the truth. 

have you just been sitting on the couch drinking beer all day?

did you even eat

Yeah I had pizza for lunch 

what about dinner?

It’s not dinner time yet. 

dude it’s 6

Oh shit really?

Hahaha that explains it 

psh and you said I was bad when I was drunk

you’re freaking Snow White 

Is this ebcause I asked about the birds 

yes it is

I gotta go, Maggie says i’m not netting the quota for fun

Maggie sounds like a buzzkill

she’s the assistant principal, i’m scared she’ll fire me if I don’t listen

jk… kinda 

  Saturday 12:32 AM

Incoming Voice Call

  “Jo! Put the phone down! You should not be calling anyone right now!”

“Hello?”

“Doctor Evil Spawn! I’m so glad you picked up.”

“Are you drunk now?”

“Noooo….. maybe. I just wanted to say hi.”

“Hi princess.”

“Your voice is nice. It’s a good voice, it’s sexy and I like it.”

“You’re kinda crazy, you know that?”

“Josephine Wilson! Give me the phone!”

“Woah who full named you? They sound angry.”

“That’s Maggie, she’s trying to get me to go home. I can’t go home Maggie, I’m talking to a hot doctor! And he has a sexy voice!”

“You’ve never even seen me, you don’t know if I’m hot.”

“I’m judging off your sexy voice and what few characteristics I know about you. I’d be shocked if you weren’t hot.”

“You have too much faith in me.”

“I have to go, Maggie is dragging me out of the bar. Byeeee hot doctor!”

“Goodnight princess, don’t throw up on your shoes this time.” 

  Sunday 9:58 AM

How’re your shoes looking?

  Sunday 11:22 AM

You’re still dead? I mean you did call me half past midnight… but I thought you’d be up by now.

  Sunday 1:46 PM

Are you embarrassed because of what you said on the phone? Frankly I found it endearing. 

  Sunday 3:18 PM

As a doctor, I’m advising you to drink more fluids and get food in your system. Maybe a banana. It’ll make you feel less shitty, trust me.

  Sunday 6:17 PM

Hope you’re not dead in a ditch somewhere. 

  Monday 7:23 AM

oh my god I am so sorry

I dropped my phone in Maggie’s car and I just got it back

wait you were worried about me weren’t you

Well you fell off the face of the earth… so yeah. 

awwww well it’s nice to know that someone would notice if I was kidnapped and murdered 

Didn’t you say I was the one that would kidnap and murder you? 

yes but i’m having a change of heart

Is it because of my sexy voice?

I was kinda hoping I didn’t say that out loud

whoops

I told you I found it endearing. 

flattery will get you everywhere

gotta go, class is lining up and they’re already screaming

I’ll pray for you. 

  Monday 8:08 PM

dude the thai place on 7th across from old navy?

amazing

i’m in heaven

Oh so we’ve reached the stage of giving each other food recommendations?

obviously 

this is a serious relationship 

Chinese place across from Joe’s Bar has the best egg rolls. Perfect drunchies. 

i’ve never been to joe’s 

I live right around the corner from there

So we’re neighbors then? I’m off of Fullerton. 

I guess we are

that’s exciting, i bet i’ve seen you at the grocery store 

Bold of you to assume I make it to the grocery store. 

honestly same

I usually guilt steph or izzie into it

You’re the chaotic good of the group aren’t you?

obviously 

I keep things balanced 

what’re you doing?

On a break, almost done for the night. I have to round on post ops and then I’m done. 

nice!!! did you get anything fun today?

Not really just surgeries I could do in my sleep. 

typical monday’s

I have to go, we have a field trip tomorrow and i’m not emotionally prepared

Oof. Have fun, don’t die. 

who the hell ends texts like that?

A doctor. Obviously. Night princess. 

goodnight Snow White

  Tuesday 12:18 PM

whoever decided to bring 42 fourth graders to the science discovery museum should be fired 

Isn’t that you?

maybe

maybe not

It was totally you. How about a deal?

deal with an internet stranger? 

fine but if I die i’m gonna be pissed

How about I drop off a bottle of wine on your porch on my way to work? I work the night shift again. 

hmmmm I don’t think i’m supposed to give my address to strangers

but i’m pretty sure if you were going to kill me you would’ve done it by now

See you’re getting the hang of it. 

okay i’ll give you my address

but if there’s a bomb we’re going to have words

If there’s a bomb you’ll be dead. 

  Tuesday 4:54 PM

red wine AND egg rolls?

if I didn’t know better i’d think you’re trying to woo me

I think I need to meet you before we can say that. 

thank you!!! 

my roomies are teasing me about taking wine from a stranger

You’re welcome. And I’m not a stranger. I know your name and where you live. 

aaaaand way to make things creepy

BTW your blonde roommate was checking out my ass. 

hahahahaha that’s izzie for you

she has a boyfriend don’t worry 

I wasn’t too concerned about her, just thought you might want to beat her up or something. 

intentionally trying to start a cat fight? classy

she says you’re “super dreamy” so that’s a plus

Glad to know I passed the checkpoint. Does this mean I get to meet you now?

maybe maybe not

we have learned one good thing though

And what’s that?

even if you are a serial killer, you have a good taste in wine and your attractive

i’ll die happy

  Tuesday 7:32 AM

If I never work another overnight again it’ll be too soon. 

yeah you’ve been working a lot of those 

wtf is up with that

I lost a bet with Arizona. 

oof that doesn’t sound fun

at least I have nice stable working hours

summers off

i’m living the dream

Why do you do that?

do what?

Send forty texts. There’s a button to put in a period and start a new sentence. In the same text. 

you really do text like a 60 year old

I’m sophisticated, obviously. 

I know we’ve never met but I need a favor

Oof. After I dropped off wine for you?

the favor includes free food and alcohol

I’m listening… 

that wedding i’m in is next weekend

and I don’t have a date :-)

I wish I could, I’m going out of town. 

booooo

it’s okay, after i’m done being a brides bitch my weekend will open up

i’ll also be done with school for year

So I can take you out on a proper date? Instead of texting you all day? 

you do realize that you’re texting a girl who found your number at 11 pm while shit faced in a bar right

That’s always how I pictured meeting the woman of my dreams. 

oh shut up

I suppose i’ll go on a date with you, man I know nothing about 

I’m Alex, I’m 27 and I don’t think pineapple belongs on pizza

deal breaker sorry

pineapple + pizza = deliciousness 

Well at least you know more about me. 

that I do

jo, 25, who’s favorite color is purple and eats cinnamon toast for breakfast everyday, has to go educate the tiny humans

talk to you later old man

Oh come on you’re two years younger!

  Tuesday 1:26 PM

have you ever had to hot glue rhinestones to candle votives 

because I am

and I hate it

WTF is a votive?

those tiny little glass things you put a candle into

Oh. Why are you bedazzling them? 

wedding prep

today is a half day so bridezilla has us crafting for her 

Are all of you brides bitches teachers?

yes

it’s hell

you try to talk about your class and all you hear about is peonies and roses and baby’s breath

I’m glad I’m a dude then. 

ha! you better be 

oh my god, she’s gone psycho

if I don’t text she took my phone

Don’t die, I’m looking forward to our date. 

  Tuesday 7:17 PM

RIP Jo, Avid Cinnamon Toast Eater 

Killed by Her Insane Bride Friend  

I made it out!!!!

barely

Nice, I’ve heard a rabid bridezilla is hard to escape. 

it was the worst 

but she let me go when I told her I had to finish putting in grades for the year

(I finished last night)

I for one am proud of you. That’s badass. 

lol i’ll keep that in mind 

thursday is our last day before freedom

I think I might get shit faced as soon as I leave work

I support it wholeheartedly. 

good because you’ll probably get more bar princess texts

Or if I’m lucky a phone call where you call me sexy again. 

hey hey I didn’t call you sexy

I called your voice sexy

there’s a difference 

Oh sorry, I don’t know how I overlooked that. 

mhm sure 

tomorrow is crazy hair day 

Does this mean I get to see a picture of you? Because I’m definitely interested in seeing what you do with this spirit day thing. 

i’ll save it for when we meet

I’m determined not to see you until our date

Suit yourself. Gotta go remove stitches. 

oooohh how exhilarating!! 

  Wednesday 9:42 AM

How goes the crazy hair?

oh just dandy 

half my hair is pink 

You seem like the type to be able to pull of pink hair. Plus it’s pretty rad. 

you’re too kind 

I bribed the kids with cookies and a movie 

i’m totally winning today

I just took out an appendix, I think I win. 

just saying I don’t think that our jobs are comparable 

but taking out an appendix sounds cool

Not as cool as cookies though. 

I have a bunch left over

should I drop them on your doorstep? 

Only if you want to. I wouldn’t say no to a good cookie. I’m here till 5. 

i’ll stop by after work!! 

we have another half day

Sweet. I’m glad you’re the one that found my number. 

  Wednesday 12:56 PM

Dude. George says you look like an adorable preschooler. 

I FORGOT I HAD MY HAIR LIKE THIS

he was very understanding 

Rave reviews on your “kindness and beautiful eyes” 

oh my god 

I have to die now 

He might’ve mentioned your ass too. I’m painting a beautiful mental picture. 

oh lord

brb gotta wash out this stupid hair dye 

maybe bang my head against the shower wall

Oooh tell me more. I love a dirty shower fantasy. 

oh booo

you’re not even trying anymore 

  Wednesday 5:55 PM

remember the titans is on tv

and it’s really good 

in case you didn’t know 

That movie is 20 years old, of course I know it’s good. 

well clearly I didn’t 

i didn’t have cable growing up 

Oh neither did I, I just stole it from the neighbors. 

that’s pretty bad ass for a kid 

Had to keep my siblings entertained. You know how it is. 

nope i’m an only child

That sounds like a dream. I have two younger siblings and they’re both a pain in the ass. 

if you knew the half of it you’d be begging to trade places with me 

I’m looking forward to hearing all of it. 

  Thursday 11:53 AM

FREEDOM!!!!!!

I AM FREE!!!!

HALLELUJAH!!!!!

I’m assuming school is out?

Y E S

$20 says I can sneak out of here without bridezilla roping me into a stupid arts and crafts project 

I hope so, I’m enjoying talking to you today. 

aren’t you at work??

Nope. Today is my day off. 

and you’re not watching baseball and drinking beer?

It’s not even noon yet. 

time is an illusion

it’s shots o clock somewhere or whatever they say

I’m now learning that the only cultural education you have is the Backstreet Boys. I think our second date will have to be a movie marathon. 

already planning our second date?

ambitious 

I like it

My conversation is fairly limited if I can’t drop a pop culture reference or two during the day. 

I can see your points and i’m willing to sit myself down and watch the classics

okay gotta sneak past bridezilla… wish me luck

Good luck 

  Thursday 4:35 PM

Pork shoulder, corn, and potatoes all on the grill. 

i’m jealous

I can’t cook to save my life 

thank god we’re going out tonight

To celebrate finally breaking free for the summer?

exactly!! steph and izzie decided we needed to go to a club after dinner

i’ve never been to one before 

Overpriced drinks and random guys grinding up on you all night. Not the best experience. 

oh so random guys grind on you when you go out?

Shut up. 

hahahaha 

I’ve never even been to a club before. Not my scene. I just live with women so I know these things. 

well i’ll update you on the happenings

let you know if I have to pay $20 for a drink

who’s grinding on my ass

you know normal everyday things

Woah woah woah. 

what??

are you jealous??

I’m just saying if you’re gonna be shaking your ass, you might as well get random guys to buy you overpriced drinks. 

you’re making some very good points 

Of course I am. By the way, George wants me to tell you that you have a very shakeable ass so you should be taking in free drinks. 

great I have to go die again 

brb gonna drOWN MYSELF IN THE SHOWER 

  Thursday 10:38 PM

good news

i’ve secured three free drinks and a round of shots for all six of us

this ass is making money baby

I’ve created a monster. Who else is there?

steph, izzie, april, maggie, and levi

You brought the whole staff out didn’t you?

yes and I’m quite skilled at getting them drunk

You’re three drinks in and still texting correctly?

I think I danced it all off

need more fireball

And that’s another thing. Who willingly shoots Fireball?

me bitch

Ohh I love it when you call me names. 

mmm i’m sure you do

okay i’m gonna go get more drinks

wish me luck

Good luck, I’m sure your ass will take in more than enough. 

  Thursday 11:57 PM

Incoming Voice Call

“Helloo?”

“Hi, it’s me.”

“I can afford caller ID, I knew it was you.”

“Were you sleeping?”

“No, I was about to head upstairs but I’m not tired.”

“Oh good. I just got home.”

“You sound tired. Did you have fun?”

“It was nice, Steph went home with some guy she met and Izzie went to her boyfriends so I’m home alone.”

“So you decided to call me?”

“I missed your voice, I told you that you have a nice voice.”

“You said that I have a sexy voice.”

“Oh shut up. I wanted to call before I went to sleep.”

“You’ve grown fond of me haven't you?”

“If you’re gonna say it like a weirdo then yes… I have grown fond of you, Snow White.”

“I guess I can say the same about you Bar Princess. Are you yawning over there?”

“Just a little bit, but I like talking to you.”

“It’s midnight, I wouldn’t blame you for falling asleep.”

“I don’t wanna fall asleep, I wanna keep talking to you.”

“How about I tell you the story of the time I was bridesman and I had to go to a bachelorette party?”

“Okay I’m listening…”

  Friday 10:15 AM

I feel like a teenager 

who the hell falls asleep on the phone

i’m in a bad rom com aren't I 

Your snoring is really cute. 

oh christ

well at least I didn’t take body shots off a male stripper

I was really hoping you’d be asleep before I got to that part. 

oh nooo I remember that very clearly 

i’ll be filing that away for blackmail

Rude. I guess I’ll save your snoring in that file too. 

touché, I like the way you play the game

I’m an experienced player. Gotta go scrub in on a fundoplication. 

have fun!!!

  Friday 2:41 PM

I got bored and googled a fundoplication

that’s some crazy stuff, you’re kind of a badass

Easy peasy, all in a day's work. 

nooo that’s amazing stuff!! 

i’m in my classroom scraping gum and glitter off of the desks

Well you’re the reason people become doctors so I'd say you’re pretty important too. 

awww you’re still trying to impress me

it’s a good look on you

I’m trying to be a gentleman. Maybe I’ll bring up your puke shoes just to be an asshole. 

you know what even the mention of that can’t bring down my good mood

do you think I could get in trouble for drinking wine in my classroom?

Well there’s no kids around so… no. But I like the rebellious attitude you have towards the situation. 

if i’m gonna sit in a classroom with no AC and scrape boogers off desks all day then I deserve some damn wine

You’re right and you should say it. 

I DESERVE MY WINE I EARNED IT

oh shit maggie is outside i’m so fired

Hey you got her free shots last night, she should be thankful. 

you know what you’re right

oh shit it’s bridezilla

Run.

whew

forgot we have our final dress fitting tomorrow

i’m not dead yet

Oh good. I kinda don’t want the first time I see you to be your funeral. 

hahaha very funny

gotta go, we have to do this stupid year end meeting

I hate it here

Have fun, and remember don’t stab yourself with a pen!

  Saturday 8:13 AM

WHAT A BEAUTIFUL MORNING

I wanna die 

bridezilla is making us jog

and she took away my donuts

  Saturday 9:53 AM

Jesus Christ. You need new friends. 

honestly she’s not that bad when she’s not stressing over this wedding 

she’s crying because she has a pimple

Oof that’s a tough run. Unfortunately, I have to spend the day out on a boat. 

boohoo I don’t not feel bad for you

unless like… you have some childhood trauma from a boat

Nope. I get to relax and drink beer all day long. 

yeah well then screw you

I have to try my stupid dress on and go to a stupid lunch and I CAN’T EVEN HAVE DONUTS

Aren’t you at home?

yes, steph invited everyone here since we have the space

why?

Check your porch. 

YOU BROUGHT ME DONUTS?! 

you’re my favorite

thank you thank you thank you 

You’re welcome, I’m happy to be of service. 

ohhhh I might just kiss you when we finally meet 

I wouldn’t say no to that. 

okay I gotta go hide in the closet and eat my donuts 

thank you for thinking of me!!

It’s all I ever do. 

  Saturday 2:16 PM

How goes the dress trying on?

it was good!! mine fits and we have a beautiful bride on our hands 

Good. I’m glad your day is getting better. I think I’m getting a sunburn. 

you better not

that shit is dangerous 

go find sunscreen 

Now you’re concerned about me huh?

always

did you put the sunscreen on

Yes because I knew you’d spontaneously implode if I didn’t. 

good 

I didn’t want to you to burst into flames sitting in the sun

As a doctor, I can tell you that most likely would not be what happened.

now we have to sit through a boring ass lunch

it’s what the mother of the groom insists on

Is she paying for it though? …. yes

Well then stop complaining.

okay okay fine

hey quick question

which fork do i stab myself with

Go order a steak and drink an expensive glass of wine.

  Saturday 10:39 PM

Incoming Voice Call

“Well well well, how the tables have turned.” “Bar Priiiiiincessss.” “Oh my god. This is so going in the blackmail file.”

“No don’t do that. If Jo finds out I was singing to another girl she’ll be mad.” “And why don’t you want Jo to be mad at you?” “Because I want to kiss her. And hug her. And see her face.”

“Well do I have a surprise for you.” “Oh I love surprises!”

“Jo and Bar Princess are the same person. I’m Jo.” “Holy crap! NO way!”

“Yes way, isn’t that crazy?”

“Can you tell Jo that she’s the nicest person I’ve ever met.” “I will relay the message. Jo is going to bed now though. Goodnight Alex.” “Good night Bar Princess, I miss you!”

[ibijau]

30 day otp - day Eight: Holiday

8. H - Holiday. The otp+ celebrate a holiday or holiday weekend together.

Not super happy with that one tbh. I hope I didn’t mess up too badly on cultural elements, I kept it vague on purpose since, due to writing day to day for this challenge, I don’t have a lot of time for research... :/

After adjusting the fabric one last time, Nie Huaisang steps back and admires his work. Heat curls up in his stomach at the sight. It should not be so arousing to see Lan Xichen wearing common folk's clothes instead of white silk, and yet there's something very attractive about it. 

Very amusing too. Lan Xichen keeps pulling on the rougher than usual fabrics, and he looks just the slightest bit distressed. It's adorable, and Nie Huaisang is struck once more by how much he adores this man. 

"I'm keeping the ribbon," Lan Xichen warns, not for the first time that evening. 

"It can stay, don't worry." 

The white ribbon on his forehead looks a little out of place with this simpler outfit, but nothing dramatic. Even common folks are allowed some oddities in their outfits, so this won't stand out too much. And anyway, this isn't one of Nie Huaisang's escapades. It doesn't matter too much if they're recognised, as they probably will be. Nie Huaisang on his own can make himself forgettable, but someone like Lan Xichen will always attract attention with how handsome and effortlessly elegant he is. It's fine. This is for fun, not business. 

It feels like it's been so long since Nie Huaisang had fun. 

"Well, we're as ready as we'll ever be," Nie Huaisang announces, taking his lover's hand and pulling him towards the door. "You still want to, right?" 

There's only the briefest moments of hesitation before Lan Xichen nods, a shy smile at the corner of his lips. Nie Huaisang wants to kiss him so badly. He doesn't. If he kisses Lan Xichen now, he knows they'd never make it out of the Unclean Realm, which would be a shame after they took such pains to prepare. 

It feels dangerous to show Lan Xichen one of the secret passages that lead outside the Unclean Realm. Not because he'd ever take advantage of it, but because of what it says about Nie Huaisang, and the questions it might bring. Thankfully, Lan Xichen is too distracted by the excitement of their little adventure to think about the details. If there are to be questions, they'll come much later. 

For now, they quickly make their way to Qinghe, where the streets are full of life in spite of the hour. Nie Huaisang loves the Autumn Moon Festival, and the festivities in Qinghe are always the best. There's lanterns everywhere, and food, and an air of sincere cheer that he never gets from anything in the cultivation world. 

Pulling Lan Xichen behind him, Nie Huaisang dives into the crowd. It's fun to be in a place like that in disguise. People bump into them, apologising or scolding them. Merchants shout to grab their attention. The streets are full of life, and because they're not cultivators at the moment, they get to be included in that. Nie Huaisang loves it. 

From the tight grip on his hand, it's clear Lan Xichen is a little more ambivalent about this adventure of theirs. He smiles every time he notices Nie Huaisang’s eyes on him, but otherwise he looks like a fish out of water. That sort of busy festival couldn't be further away from the atmosphere of Cloud Recesses. 

"We can go back," Nie Huaisang offers after a little while, when Lan Xichen shows no sign of relaxing. "I'm grateful to you for indulging me this much, I don't mind going home now." 

It is clear from the look on his face that Lan Xichen is very tempted by that offer. Yet he smiles gently and shakes his head. 

"This is… It's different," he concedes, just as someone bumps into him, pushing him against Nie Huaisang. He gapes a little, shocked at that treatment while Nie Huaisang can't help laughing. "Are you enjoying my discomfort?" Lan Xichen complains.

"No, it's… That's not it, I swear," Nie Huaisang quickly says, biting his lip to keep from laughing more because, actually, he is enjoying that a bit. 

Who could blame him? For as long as they've known each other, Lan Xichen has always been a picture of perfection. He's always been elegant and poised, fully in control. Even during Night Hunts, even during the war, even when they were both broken by grief over Nie Mingjue's death, Lan Xichen remained perfect and controlled, a jade statue more than a human. It's different in private, when Lan Xichen has learned to unwind a little, but in public he's always annoyingly spotless.

Not so at the moment. The clothes Nie Huaisang found for him don't find quite well, and being pushed around has shifted them a bit out of place. Lan Xichen's hair is a little messy too, and he has that wonderfully pitiful expression on his face due to being so out of his depth. 

There's no First Jade here. There's just Lan Xichen. Seeing him like this, Nie Huaisang feels a little less unworthy of his lover, because they're both just people in this moment. 

"Can we stay a little more?" Nie Huaisang begs. "We haven't even had mooncakes! We need to have some before we go home, or what's even the point?" 

Lan Xichen's indulgent smile returns as he nods, but Nie Huaisang feels it's best if they don't linger much longer. He wants this to be a positive experience, so that maybe next year Lan Xichen will agree to do it again. 

It's easy enough to spot a stand that has mooncakes, but Nie Huaisang looks for a specific one. He drops Lan Xichen in front of some pretty lanterns when he finds it, and starts chatting a little with the old man selling the cakes. They're the best in all of Qinghe after all, and Nie Huaisang always makes a point of buying them from him. Even Nie Mingjue loved those, that's how good they are. 

A pretty box in hand and his purse a little lighter, Nie Huaisang turns his attention back to Lan Xichen. 

He nearly laughs when he finds the mighty Lan Sect Leader surrounded by some old ladies. To an outsider he would look perfectly poised and indifferent as they ask if he wants to meet their granddaughters, but Nie Huaisang knows him well enough to guess he's nearly panicking at this unexpected turn of event. 

It's adorable. If Nie Huaisang were just a little less of a jealous person, he'd take a moment to watch this unfold. As it is, the idea of anyone trying to play matchmaker for Lan Xichen is something he's always hated, so he quickly hops toward the little group. 

"Husband, here are the cakes," Nie Huaisang chirps happily, grabbing Lan Xichen's arm and plastering himself against his side. He then looks at the women with perfectly crafted surprise. "Oh, did you meet people you know? Please husband, introduce me!" 

"No need, there was a mistake," one of the women replies, already stepping away. "We are sorry for disturbing you." 

They leave, but Nie Huaisang doesn't let go of Lan Xichen. It's nice to be holding on to him like this, and in public too. He'd never get away with that among cultivators. 

"You lied to them," Lan Xichen says in an odd tone. 

"I'm not a Lan, so I'm allowed," Nie Huaisang retorts. "They'd never have left you alone otherwise. Ah! Does it… Does it bother you that I said you were my…" 

He can't even finish the sentence, too flustered. It was easy to say just a moment ago when he was playing a part, but now the word 'husband' gets stuck in his throat. 

They've discussed it, early on. Marriage, with their positions, would be too complicated. Lan Xichen could perhaps afford it, since he has his brother and his nephew. But all Nie Huaisang has is distant cousins, so he should marry to produce an heir, not because of love. Aside from that, it'd be a scandal for two sect leaders to marry, let alone two men. 

It used to depress him. Now, with this business with Jin Guangyao, he has convinced himself that it's for the best. Things won't end well on that front. There will be blood. There will be resentment. There will be betrayal and heartbreak and it's for the best if Lan Xichen isn't too publicly tied to him when everything falls into place. 

Still, he dreams of it. The two of them, happy living together, standing at each other's side. 

It's his favourite fantasy. 

When he looks up at Lan Xichen's face, his lover looks uncharacteristically flustered. It's so rare for the First Jade to blush at all, but he's so pretty when he does. 

"I don't mind you saying that," Lan Xichen says at last, voice thick with emotion. "It might as well be true. How long has it been now?" 

Eight years, four months, a handful of days. 

"A while," Nie Huaisang giggles awkwardly. "And I suppose here, it doesn't matter what we call each other. Nobody knows us anyway." 

Lan Xichen nods slowly, and presses a quick kiss to Nie Huaisang’s temple who is so stunned he forgets how to breathe. Doing something like that in public... He must make a funny face, because now Lan Xichen is the one biting his lip not to laugh. 

"I like when I can surprise you," Lan Xichen says, before poking at the box that Nie Huaisang bought earlier. "Are those the cakes? Let's go somewhere quieter to eat them. Would my husband like that?" 

"Oh, you'll be the death of me," Nie Huaisang breathlessly replies, hating and loving how his heart beats faster, just because of one word.

Lan Xichen laughs at that, sincere and unbridled in a way he so rarely allows himself to be. Nie Huaisang grins in return, desperately wanting to kiss the other man.

Everyone can see and admire Zewu-Jun, the First Jade. But Nie Huaisang is the only one who ever gets to see Lan Xichen, and he is so grateful for that honour.

[wernerherzogs]

there it is, finally! the list of my favourite hl fics of All Time.

disclaimer: some of these i have read only once and forever ago, but i’ve got them saved in a folder, and i vaguely remember them Meaning something to me when i read them, but basically -- if you read something from this list and end up not enjoying it, sorry not sorry! i operate on nostalgia sometimes, it’s possible i wouldn’t be that into some of them now, too, but whatevs!

i made myself stick to one work per author, otherwise this would be endless, but if an author’s nickname is bolded, it means i’ve had the time to read all of their works, and recommend them all.

i’m fairly certain i’m forgetting stuff (especially those stories that i’ve never saved/bookmarked), so i’ll try to keep this updated fairly regularly -- whenever i remember an old fave, or fall in love with something new. i’ll make sure to reblog this post then.

the order is completely random. this is a list where every work carries equal significance, even if not always for the same reasons. it was supposed to be alphabetical, but turns out i’m far too lazy for that. (shocker.) i took the liberty of shortening some of the original summaries, because this post is going to be Too Long anyway. rip.

enjoy! hopefully.

***

blackjacks running down my back | sequel by dangerbears (+ lj) (~10,000) 

AU. university stuff. best friend stuff. music stuff. sappy stuff.

try to not remember (rather than forget) by hereforlou (59,602)

He hadn’t left, but that’s what it had felt like most of the time. Just as if one day Harry had up and left him.

(Or, the one where Harry wakes up.)

Like Real People Do by moodlighting (58,469)

Harry is Louis' soulmate but Louis isn't Harry's - it takes Harry a while to figure it all out.

a prayer for which no words exist by Eliane (34,313)

Louis is a few seconds away from blowing up a rather important section of the New York subway when he sees Harry for the first time.

Who Painted the Moon Black by throughthedark (requires an ao3 account) (95,697)

“People died,” Harry whispers so quietly Louis strains to hear. “People died, and I killed some of them. How does life just go on after something like that?”

Louis shakes his head. “I don't know. It just does.”

hold on to your stars before they fade by adelagia (31,740)

The first time they meet, it is sunrise, and Harry is naked.

(Or, the one where Harry is a lost fairy, and Louis takes him in.)

Lambing Season by HelloAmHere (24,544)

“Shut up,” Louis says, an involuntary grin tugging at his mouth. It’s not every boy who will stand in the middle of a cold barn in a suit and play musician trivia. “I’m Louis.”

//lambing season brings sleep deprivation, noisy alarms, cold barns, demanding animals, and warm strangers.

Wild And Unruly by 100percentsassy, gloria_andrews (123,655)

Harry is a cowboy sitting on the biggest oil reservoir in Wyoming, and Louis is the paralegal assigned to pressure him into selling his land.

Walk That Mile by purpledaisy (149,570)

A Route 66 AU where falling in love was never part of the plan.

the dead things we carry by MediaWhore (25,316)

“Oh,” Mrs. Padley says, clearly taken aback. “You two know each other?”

There are some things people never fully come home from. Until, one day, if they’re lucky, home comes to them.

i believe him when he tells of loving me by bitterlee (28,894)

louis doesn't remember harry. harry takes him home.

Come Along With Me by darkofthenights (28,032) (requires an ao3 account)

An AU where Harry is a magician and Louis doesn't believe in such a thing.

Dust Off My Wings by eravain (19,882) (+ download)

AU where the boys are cottage neighbours, Louis develops an obsession with the mysterious boy next door, and the end of summer is really just the start of everything else.

Boys of Summer by sharktoothedfawnskinned (49,545)

What he wants is for this to be a forever thing, not someplace Harry spent the summer once.  What he wants is for this to be more than a memory.

(New Jersey beach town AU.)

ever ever after by hattalove (22,645)

“Happily ever after, huh?” he can’t help asking, in a voice that’s softer than he’d like. Harry seems to sense the fragility of the moment. He settles down, containing the excited flailing of his hands, and mirrors Louis’s position. “Of course,” he says. “Don’t you have those here?” Louis bites his lip. “M’ afraid not. It doesn’t really work out that way for most people.”

or, an enchanted AU. sort of.

heroes of the orange skies by queenmcgonagall (30,656)

Louis likes bathroom walls and Sharpies, Harry likes metal, Zayn likes Liam and Liam likes Zayn, Niall is wise, and they all go to the zoo.

Empty Skies by green_feelings (134,048)

For three years, Harry has been running from his past. Now, he is moving to London and pledges to fulfil his only dream -- making it big in the music industry. Not everyone has a place, though, and the competition is tough. As is his past catching up on him.

Louis is part of the biggest boy band of the world, and getting there had meant a lot of hard work, as well as sacrificing parts of his heart and soul. He's still happy. Maybe not as happy as he could be, but who is he to complain?

nocturne in silver and blue by tinyweirdloves (97,594)

louis is a fallen star and harry brings him home. told over the course of fourteen years.

life does not go backward, nor does it tarry in yesterday by bottomlinsons (4568)

Louis and Harry are Knights of the Round Table and Camelot has a dragon problem. (Arthurian AU)

In This Light by exhilarated (99,234)

Harry is a wardrobe stylist who likes to live in the moment, and Louis is a popstar who looks dreamy in double breasted jackets. Harry never stood a chance.

our little corner of the world by brownheadedstranger (29,913)

AU. Louis is stuck in his mom's diner for the summer. Harry is the line cook with a pickup truck.

Every Arrow That I Aim Is True by estrella30 (24,890)

Louis doesn’t say anything again so Harry whispers, “Just stay here with me for a while, yeah? I’ll take care of you.”

Louis is quiet. He never picks his head up, but Harry can see the pillow move from where he’s nodding and his fingers tighten around Harry’s. “Yeah,” Louis says. “Yeah, all right.”

i'm not calling you a liar (just don't lie to me) by hazmesentir (33625) (requires an ao3 account)

Louis can't stop lying. Harry runs a farm. Somehow, he squeezes the truth out of him.

An Eternal Enigma by goldenquill (67,478) (+ download)

Louis is a reluctant king with a head full of fairy tales, and Harry is an emotionally challenged musical prodigy. Zayn is a hopelessly romantic painter, Liam is the castle’s resident ghost with sporadic amnesia, and Niall is the accidental head of the kingdom’s most prevalent spy ring. Very loosely based on the lives of Ludwig II of Bavaria and Richard Wagner.

all my love was down in a frozen ground by navigator (16,033)

Louis goes to the woods.

AU very loosely inspired by the creation of Bon Iver's first record.

walk my days on a wire by sunshiner (38,586)

“We’re here because we have inventive managers,” Louis says, giving Harry’s leg a little nudge with his knee, but all that’s going around in his head is, I think I'd be in the same spot in every possible universe.

or, when actor Louis Tomlinson used to daydream about dating Harry Styles, this is not what he had in mind.

take my hand (and my heart and soul) by bananasandboots (45,623)

"I – yeah. Hi," Louis finally answers, slowly, awkwardly. "I um. Sorry. I heard about your accident. You're alright?"

Or, the one where Harry hasn't spoken to his best friend in sixteen months and can't remember why.

These Inconvenient Fireworks by wontsitstill (190,000) (+ download)

Future AU in which nobody tries out for X Factor but the boys end up finding one another eventually anyway. Louis is a jaded bastard who owns a cat named Duchess and teaches drama to teenagers, Harry is an idealistic aspiring photographer/part-time footy coach, Zayn teaches English lit and wears leather jackets, Liam saves people from burning buildings, and Niall is Niall.

things have gotten closer to the sun by starseas (49,276)

when a solar flare is announced to end the world in twelve days, harry reunites with the people that he used to know better than the back of his own hand.

Harry Styles Cooks... by sunsetmog (ongoing)

In which Louis Tomlinson can’t cook, there’s a very special shower curtain, and Harry Styles used to be a baker.

Or: Louis owns all of Harry Styles’ cookbooks, and he never intends to cook a single thing out of any of them.

101 Uses For Dragon Eggs by colazitron (42,249)

Louis just got back from a three week assignment yesterday and today was only supposed to be paperwork he needs to do to finish that up, before he was going to leave early and enjoy the weekend. And then Zayn, the traitor, emailed him about a bloke who was rumoured to have found a dragon egg and apparently live tweeting the whole thing.

Don't Want Shelter by FullOnLarrie (ongoing)

Louis and Harry have known each other all their lives. Friends as children, they danced around each other as teenagers, and have spent the last twenty-five years either screaming at each other or not speaking at all. Except for that one time ten years ago…

When Hurricane Nicole threatens the coast, they end up stuck together in their families' old vacation home that they begrudgingly co-own.

Escapade by dolce_piccante (requires an ao3 account) (146,241) (+ download)

In the grand scheme of things, finding a date for a wedding should be no problem for Louis Tomlinson. He's rich. He's handsome. He's reasonably well behaved. But when the wedding is for his lifelong best friend (and former boyfriend), and is happening in under a month, finding a date for the ceremony and accompanying festivities becomes more of an adventure than he ever could have planned for.

Whether Clouds or Clear Skies by onewasturning (25,861)

“Harry,” Louis says, “last night I had an experience bordering on profound.”

“You’re making it sound like you did something sexual with my muffin,” Harry says.

Or, Louis gets into the habit of stealing baked goods while Harry’s busy keeping tabs on the weather.

the dead of july by whimsicule (117,446)

Being an Avenger means continuing to be Captain America and smiling and being honorable for the public and Harry does his best. But it doesn’t give him time to figure out who he is supposed to be once he takes off his uniform and puts the shield to the side. Just being Harry had always involved Louis, and Harry fears he doesn’t know how to exist without him.

or: Harry is Captain America, and Louis’ been dead for 70 years.

In the Clear by aclosetlarryshipper (80,751)

After Princess Gemma and her fiance Niall are captured by the witch from across the land, Harry and Louis are forced on a journey together to save them.

Featuring Lumberjack Liam, Magical Zayn, unsolicited tattoos, and untangling the past.

Also known as The Larrietale.

a house built out of stone by robpatFF (22,486)

Louis has a used bookshop and Harry has a habit of claiming things that don't belong to him.

out of the blue corner by fallingaway (85,422)

Louis is a boxer banned because of doping. Harry is a journalist following the story.

with your love we could breathe underwater by luminescents (28,542)

Harry’s brow furrows, a look of confusion spreading over his face. “But I am real. I exist, see,” he says, raising a hand out of the water and wiggling his fingers at Louis.

AU where Harry is a mermaid, Louis is a human, and they both discover a lot more than they anticipated.

dancing in the dark by clairdeloune (74,709)

Harry comes out and it brings more than he's expected.

Untangle Me by suicxne (103,000) (requires an ao3 account)

Or the one where Harry and Louis finally get it right.

California Sold by isthatyoularry (123,536)

Notoriously closeted boyband member Harry Styles is famous on a global scale, meanwhile Louis, as his best friend, is back home in Manchester, living the typical life of a 24 year old. When Harry needs Louis with him in LA, a publicity stunt gone wrong changes their friendship forever.

A fake-relationship AU between two lifelong best friends.

you came into my life by disgruntledkittenface (57,180)

When the Queer Eye cast and crew sweep into Louis’ small town and fire station to make over his best friend and coworker Liam, Louis’ carefully constructed walls start to fall down and he has to face his fears – and the only guy he’s ever been able to see a future with.

like cabbages and kings by you_explode (60,875)

When Louis was a kid, he had a series of very vivid dreams about a place called Wonderland.

Loyal Knight and True by rainbowninja167 (51,569)

Oh, Harry thinks, mouth open on a silent gasp. This is how it happens.

In contemporary Oxford, Harry Styles and Niall Horan run a magical bookshop, unbowed by an entire academic establishment that insists magic doesn't even exist.

for now (and forever) by orphan_account (sadly can’t remember the actual author) (83,283)

"Listen to yourself," Harry laughs, shaking Louis' shoulders. "Don't you think it's a bit weird to con the country you're supposed to be serving?"

Louis is going into the Army, Harry is going nowhere, and there's nothing like a little identity fraud between friends.

Say You'll Remember by whisperdlullaby (93,521)

au. louis and harry are best mates that are only half aware that they're also soulmates. alternatively, louis goes to university and harry travels the world, and they always manage to find their way back to each other.

takes place over nine years, in which they love and hurt, make mistakes and learn, and above all, grow.

Faking It by TheCellarDoor (46,173)

A uni AU in which Louis has been Harry’s best friend since he offered him cubed fruit on the playground, and they spend more time cuddling in their dorm beds than they do apart, but it’s not like that. Or is it?

Battle Cry by Velvetoscar (21,377)

Harry's got a heart, a soul, and a band. And with that, obviously, comes a future paved in great success, right? So all he has to do is win the Battle of the Bands, right? Simple.

What's not so simple is the fact that Louis Tomlinson is his biggest competition. And also happens to be made of everything that Harry's ever wanted.

Take Me Where I Cannot Stand by LoadedGunn (13,988)

Harry can agree that being husbands in space presents some challenges. Sometimes they have to escape mindless cannibals, sometimes they're being held hostage, sometimes Louis doesn't want Harry to get pregnant, and sometimes someone slips on a banana peel. But that's all part of the fun, isn't it? They could have been juggling geese.

(Firefly AU where Harry and Louis are co-pilots in life.)

Just Me, You, And This Box of Matches by tomlinsunshine (87,020) (requires an ao3 account)

Louis is fairly sure that his new neighbour is going to destroy him. And also their apartment building, and the dumpsters outside, and all the forests within a thirty mile radius. But. Mostly him.

you're an egg if im an egg by giraffesaretall (1252)

au where one direction are eggs.