#i want to kms once again

[ineffabeatlemindpalace]

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[luyo-mi]

them

[maruyaaya]

guys i’ve been so busy lately it’s honestly been awful i’m so sorry neomachus enjoyers. i hope this snippet of ch3 will suffice until i finally get the time to finish up and edit the chapter

chapter 3 is kind of a turning point for neo and telemachus’ relationship which is why i’m spending so much time on it BUT IM VERY EXCITED FOR WHEN I GET TO POST THIS I THINK YOU GUYS WILL LIKE IT

[foreverrelapsingana]

I used to be so pretty and now I’m fat

wtf

[cuteniarose]

The consequences of my poor financial decisions are here!!

[mithliya]

my mom pretty much set up laser hair removal appointments for me and kinda pushed it as a necessity. I've been trying to tell her that i can't afford it (we're arab and just saying that i don't wanna do it would probably direct us to a anti feminism & hygene conversation i don't wanna have) and that I'd rather spend that on driving lessons but it's pointless and idk how to escape from that.

is she paying for it then?? anon it might have to be time to have that annoying convo,, ultimately she'll find her way through every excuse. if shes muslim maybe u can argue its haram to alter ur body or sth, i know many muslim women dont remove facial hair for similar reasons so.. if all else fails, perhaps the religion route wont? but tbh simply saying u dont want to and its ur choice might be better than pretending to want to but giving excuses if shes pushing THIS hard

[wintersettled]

i am once again thinking about the hilichurl rogue :(

the first time i fought it was actually yesterday after climbing a mountain in fontaine cause i wanted to see what it was and the drops really reminded me of neanderthal flower burials + how both neanderthals and hilichurls are/have been seen as primitive beings despite tons of evidence to the contrary (ignoring what we know about khaenri'ah since the curse of the wild seems to cause them to be catatonic for a period of time).

theres tons of literature on how neanderthals actually appear to be similar to homo sapiens and have higher mental functioning as evidenced through their tools, their presumed social structures (taking care of injured/disabled neanderthals rather than abandoning them as would be thought of beings focused only on survival), but most notably for this the evidence of "flower burials" at Shanidar.

Basically, two neanderthals were found buried in primarily medicinal flowers (indicating their possible role in their group). I believe there were 11(?) other neanderthals found there who appeared to have been crushed by rockfall whos ages (if my memory is correct) were from around 7 to mid 40s. The reason i bring this up is because of one of the flowers found at Shanidar: Achillea/Yarrows. I find these flowers to be fairly similar in appearance of the petals (excluding size) to the hilichurl rogues drops

Now, each drops description:

A Flower Yet to Bloom "a wildflower that a hilichurl rogue treasured. it was plucked before it could bloom. the hilichurl takes nothing with it in its sojourn across the wilderness save this flower."

Treasured Flower "a wild flower that a hilichurl picked bereft of any special qualities. flowers can be used as gifts or offerings to express ones feelings in many cultures"

for this description in specific i would actually like to quote Ralph S Solecki's "The Implications of the Shanidar Cave Neanderthal Flower Burial"

"Under normal circumstances, today, in many cultures, flowers and death go together, as one can see a funeral corteges and burials. The association of flowers as tokens of esteem, respect, or for the joy of looking at [...]. According to the Encyclopaedia Britannica, 'the flower has been a universal symbol of beauty in the civilizations of the world. Confucius included its cultivation among the arts that were essential to a man of culture.' We pride ourselves thinking that we know a lot about Neanderthal man, but the association of flowers with Neanderthals adds a whole new dimension to our knowledge of him, and his humanistic nature."

Wanderer's Blooming Flower "a blooming wild flower that a hilichurl rogue treasured, bereft of any special qualities. the eternal outlander asks not for reward, but only to see their deeds come to fruition"

TLDR (abstract lol); hilichurl rogue drops remind me of the neanderthal flower burials found at shanidar

below the cutoff are some sources if you want to do further reading on neanderthals

(im not an anthropologist or even studying it btw but here are some articles on neanderthals i used for a bibliography on neanderthal spirituality in an anth class last winter in case you want to read up on it, theyre formatted in SAA kinda)

Appenzeller, Tim

     2013    Neanderthal Culture: Old Masters. Nature 497:302-304. 

Hochadel, Oliver

     2020    The Flower People of Shanidar: Telling a New Tale of Neanderthal Brothers. In 

Narratives and Comparisons, edited by Martin Carrier, Rebecca Mertens, and Carsen Reinhardt, pp. 99-122. Bielefeld University Press, Bielefeld. https://doi.org/10.14361/9783839454152-005

Mitchell, Mary Shirley

    2021   Geoarchaeological Methods and the Intentionality of Neanderthal Burial. Furthering

Perspectives 11:29-41. https://mountainscholar.org/bitstream/handle/10217/233626/JOUF_FurtheringPerspectives_vol10.pdf?sequence=1#page=29

Morris-Kay, Gillian M. 

    2010    The Evolution of Human Artistic Creativity. Journal of Anatomy 216:158-176. 

Pomeroy, Emma, Paul Bennett, Chris O. Hunt, Tim Reynolds, Lucy Farr, and Marine Frouin

    2020      New Neanderthal Remains Associated with the ‘Flower Burial’ at Shanidar

Cave. Antiquity 94:11-26. http://dx.doi.org/10.15184/aqy.2019.207

[tariah23]

When I used to be so obsessed with drawing cu….

[bugsbenefit]

when everyone and their mother working on that show lied about Will being straight for years things were SO bad around here. because most casual fans and even a lot of hardcore/invested fans just ran with it. i dipped my head in here around 2019 for the first time and hightailed it right back out because apparently Will being gay wasn't canon since s1, which is what i'd thought. and was actually highly debated. i was so annoyed with that being the mainstream opinion that i didn't properly get into the ST fandom until s4, despite watching since almost day 1

i think most people on here know this by now and i don't think it needs to be said. but just in case people are new to following a shows production, especially when it comes to spoilers NDAs and plot relevant information: NEVER take anything actors say in interviews as confirmation of anything. EVER. unless what they're saying has already been canonically addressed. they legally have to lie if it could classify as a spoiler

the years of "Will is straight, Noah literally confirmed it" were so horrible and it all happened because people took Noah's word in interviews (spoiler: he had to lie because NDAs are a thing)

[chaotictomtom]

trying to check out to see if i'll ever manage to get top surgery this year and. let's just say i thought the delay would be bigger but. the price is still always such a big ass problem i kinda wanna bash my head against a wall but. anyway

[icelogged]

soooooooooo right abt coquette being used for regressive femininity im not even familiar w it but it's just kinda really frustrating to see something u found yourself in being used for something almost diametrically opposite to it

EMMM one of my favourite gay people on my phone or however it goes

“—used for something almost diametrically opposite to it”.

that’s what gets me the most. the reclamation of girlhood lost to trauma repackaged into patriarchal bigoted dogma but written in a glitter pen.

i went off longer than i expected, so i went full throttle— oleta’s soapbox moment. tysm for this gift cliff 🫀💞 I will try to use it well :3 @ everyone else if you are not acquainted with nuance or im generalizing (not all xyz) don’t interact with post maybe sit outside without your for 15 minutes. i’m in flare today and can’t deal with people thinking i am attacking a specific group, im targeting them specifically when we’re literally strangers etc etc

just because you put a racially “diverse” [one girl of colour] group of VS models as your header, reblogged *“poc coquettes” are valid and think women are inherently “divine” doesn’t mean your opinion on body hair [a true neutral; as it doesn’t care what you identify as, it just grows (and yes there are exceptions)] and femininity, want for your boyfriend to think for you, holding his finger instead of his hand to make you feel small and demure, constructing every facet of your being down to smell whatever corporations say “is” coquette—doesn’t mean your idea of femininity is extremely regressive, Mary. and it literally does not serve you.

when people speak out about this the response is so sinister and calculated; suddenly these concerned persons are anti-feminist. “let women have fun and feel good”. uhm hey did you know that your pleasure shouldn’t the only indicator in deciding what is “good” or not.

how are you going to tell me that saying **woke trad wife aestheticisms and waiting to see what the influencer it girl of week is wearing before shopping is anti-feminist. it’s like the definition of feminism has become freedom for women to do whatever they want [instead fighting for worldwide liberation and then equity]. feminism is anti-feminist because you told a woman no… smells western selfishness to me. “if it feels good then it can’t be bad”. so it’s feminist to agree with the man who ended eating women he said this to [fictional, chose this example because i think Hayden is a kinda genius and i so thankful work for so many reasons but the discussions and awareness her “silly little story” has shifted the trajectory of many]

this all very by design and social media amplifies it. [I know i draw tiktok through the mud every chance i get but] eras don’t even last 5 years now and that shift can be marked through tiktok’s journey from being musical.ly to what it is now.

musical.ly [branded as fun social media for youth including underage persons] -> oops we had such a bad pedophile problem we gotta overhaul everything -> tiktok [cringe, because it was just musical.ly but called something different and people think people especially kids minding their own business and having fun lipsyncing is cringe, 2018?2019?] -> summer 2019; guys it’s just like vine, are feeling that nostalgia son?(it was not like vine) -> im locked in my house wah wah (people are dying steven) i am so bored and addicted to technology that when i refresh my feeds and there’s no new content i don’t know what to do with myself time to try this new app. did i mention im horny and my porn addiction got worse <3 -> tiktok having to scramble again because of all the new adult content. thus the tiktok is now an app for everyone rebrand -> disguised ads as unsponsored content -> becomes a profitable app -> you can’t say lesbian but you can sure romanticize the nuclear family -> (we are here. i’ll be talking more specifically about regressive femininity especially the kind found in the “coquette”community) femininity is womanhood, it is a specific checklist and if you don’t follow it you’ll never be a lizzy grant waif key west kitten soft girl old money female manipulator (i’ll never get that one, Jesus). shaping your body and presentation to what is deemed desirable and feminine is self care and self care costs money thus hating your natural self is actually bettering it. let the original self die and be just like her [can be anyone, tuned to their likes and opinion on beauty] and don’t forget to preserve your youth [as if aging wasn’t a natural process and something you could stop if you have the money]. older male validation should be your lifeblood, they aren’t like the silly boys at your school, don’t you want fall in love and have a big strong man to protect you that takes advantage of your naïveté to control you but that’s okay because you’re an angel starlet and he has money because he’s older (no he doesn’t he’s in debt Julia like everyone else) <3 but when you hit 26 you might as well be ***milf. be warned hubby gets bored of “milfs” because they’re too harden by the world by then, seen too much, too hard to shape into the little maid sex doll of his dreams so he trolls for ****eighteen years olds again. “if it’s legal :purple_devilface:” etc etc etc ! #coquette

*i’m going to be real with y’all… the use of “poc” [people of colour, person of colour] as a word, not as it’s true form as an acronym has taken years off my life. ‘person/people of colour coquette’ doesn’t make sense. while we’re at it… nblm/w also ruined my life specifically /hyperbolic. e.g nblm reads; ‘non-binary loving male’ when you mean ‘male loving non-binary’. as wlw reads; ‘woman loving women’ also interpreted as women loving women, though such wouldn’t work as smoothly for nblw etc

** i miss when woke actually meant something, aave and ball terminology becoming universal means nothing is sacred

*** the way men in their 60s are dilfs sometimes dilfs all the way to the grave— women who are 27 are milfs… but only three years later they’re hags! oh and men apparently somehow when you reach 30 you’re a certified daddy, unaffected by ageism and your desirability to people who’ve only been adults for less than five years is bass boosted supported by the patriarchy… that sounds familiar doesn’t it? desirability sure has a short shelf life for women and they have to care about it, agonize over it, spend all their money over it but that should be a post in itself *adds to my drafts <3* honestly i do write all the things i said i would i just have ocd and im waiting for a made up arbitrary time to post that is 100% determined by mental illness, perfectionism and subconscious self hate because i totally don’t consciously hate myself anymore because im the sweetest girl in town (haha get it?) and think im martyr gifted from god but i am really into self harming and sabotaging <3 thanks trauma you’ve made my life so interesting ! my brain gets more wrinkly everyday trying to navigate it <33333

****IN MY OPINION people shouldn’t be identified as adults when they are eighteen and nineteen but somebody really wanted to fuck someone’s daughter :/ making me think of another one my ****’s theses; all evil in the world stems from greed. now if society was founded in science not feelings adults would be 25 and older as the frontal cortex develops by then but i can see how that would be an eugenics nightmare as neurodivergent people etc can develop it later though i can’t see this hypothetical society checking everyone’s brain before deeming them an adult because a). you have to wait even longer to legally sexualize them b). it would give everyone a free mandatory health check up but that is also another conversation

[girlivealwaysbean]

everything is falling apart again😭

[autopsytableromance]

hey why did my manager unprompted tell me and like 3 other coworkers a story about how he had his dog terrorize her girlfriend for three hours while he took a nap and she hid in the car afraid like it was a funny story to tell.

[diari0deglierrori]

Ok maybe I cannot hold grudges. Not long enough at least.