#i want to just discuss the main pt girls considering i see people keep doing this for ann and futaba specifically

[mayadoesfandomstuff]

Thing that I feel like I need to bring up here about Persona 5: most of the girls are competent cooks.

This isn't headcanon, this is fully canon. They cook together pretty often during Strikers and have pretty good results.

This isn't just because they're being helped by the protagonist either by the way, Ann, Haru, and Makoto cook with Yusuke some pretty good curry of their own that Joker only helps with at the last minute, and Haru teaches Zenkichi how to cook to make better meals for his daughter since he's not a good one like at all.

The only one we don't see cooking among the thieves during the game is literally Futaba who is considered their resident taste tester. Futaba, however, is seen baking in the actual P5/R if you romance her, so she probably knows how to follow a recipe well.

I just need more people to know this because I know there's a side of the fandom that keeps making the girls (specifically Futaba, Ann, and even Haru sometimes) as horrible cooks coming from jokes from previous Persona games. I know it's a funny haha joke but it's a little iffy to try to push this idea about the girls just because of previous installments.

[softprincesso]

✨HOW TO BECOME A WEALTHY MIDDLE-AGED MAN✨

PT.2: Overview to understanding different saving/retirement methods, investments, and forms of income

2.1 Savings and Retirement

Welcome lovelies to (what I hope will be) a helpful series on gaining wealth and becoming financially literate and independent!

*disclaimer: while this advice can generally apply to many it will not apply to all. Everyone is in a different situation and should do their own research before they take what ANYONE says as fact or law. This is also coming from the perspective of a young, biracial, first generation female business student following a hypergamous lifestyle and who does sw so some advice may be specific to my like-minded ladies, but for the most part I just love money and want to help others find joy in their wallets as well. I am also operating in the US so things regarding accounts, stocks, and certain laws will vary by your country. Also, this is just a fun thing I wanted to do because talking about leveling up and learning and growing and money are my favorite past times. None of these pictures are mine, however I am using some links which may compensate me in some way, but I only used links which were mutually beneficial and would help you gain something as well, they are still just actual sources I use for myself.

✨THINGS TO KEEP IN MIND✨

Financial independence is different than financial confidence.

Financial Independence: “The most common sense of the term is that someone has enough wealth to live as they wish for the rest of their life without having to work.” -Investopedia https://www.investopedia.com/financial-edge/0611/declare-your-own-financial-independence-day.aspx

Financial Confidence: “We define financial confidence as having three aspects,” says Miler. “The first is awareness of how money can be a tool for helping you reach your goals and dreams. The second is financial literacy and understanding economic factors. The third is trust and knowing where to turn for financial advice.” -Forbes https://www.forbes.com/sites/shelleyzalis/2018/06/16/women-money-8-steps-for-growing-your-financial-confidence/?sh=2175b65e2468

While the ultimate goal is financial independence, financial confidence should be the main focus. I’ll give an example why. Imagine there are two people: Rhonda and Jill. Both of them like nice things, love to shop, and participate in the occasional splurge. Rhonda works a regular 9-5 and has a decent salary. She doesn’t have much financial knowledge (translation: financial confidence), but she has a savings account at her local bank and puts a couple hundred into retirement each year and she thinks that's enough. Suddenly, Rhonda wins the lottery. Overnight she has become a millionaire, so she quits her job, moves to LA, and goes on to live life to the fullest. She would now be considered financially independent. However, Rhonda has no idea how to manage all that money. She puts a small amount into that bank savings account and takes the rest to do what she will. One day she tries her luck at a casino, in less than five hours she has lost all of her money and has to start back at square one with no job, only a few thousand to get her through, and no-good way to explain to employers that she just wasted the last 5 years spending money on handbags she now has to sell at a depreciated value. (BTW you would not last not working with only a million dollars in LA for that long)

Now, let’s look at Jill. Jill is an independent contractor and has a relatively steady income. She knows very little about finances, but she actively learns how to manage what she has and keeps up to date on the latest money news. The day that Rhonda won the lottery was just another Thursday for Jill, the only unique point for her was that she opened a savings accounts with a high APY (we’ll say 1%) and put in $5000.00. A little later she also opened a Roth IRA and puts in the maximum yearly allowance of $6000.00. Along the way she opened a brokerage account of her own and started trading in the stock market along with investing in real estate which has given her some extra income to play with each year. Unfortunately, another housing crash occurs, and all of the money Jill invested into real estate is gone. However, since Jill learned the skills behind her choices early on, she is knowledgeable and understands the ups and downs of the market and how to invest her money in other places in the meantime. And, that High yield savings account accrued around $50 more without her doing anything and she has that to fall back on, or worst case she can take out part of her principal Roth IRA contribution. 10 years from now Jill should start to see a steady increase in her Roth IRA that by retirement will be a little over 1 million and she should be comfortable and invested enough into stocks that she gains around $200-1000 extra each month.

I think you understand why you want to be Jill.

✨HAVING ADEQUATE SAVINGS = BEING YOUR OWN LIFEGUARD✨

As discussed in Pt.1 the first goal you should achieve is securing an emergency fund that could sustain you for a couple of months if things were to ever hit the fan, and starting a retirement fund should be in your top 5 goals to complete. The saying, “the rich get richer” is popular for a reason. Wealthy people know how to make their money work for them instead of them having to work for money. An easy way anyone can do the same is by opening the right accounts for your savings and retirement.

Savings: 

All of your savings should be in a high yield saving account or split between different high yield accounts. This is an account which will reward you some interest every period for having money in your account with them. This is incredibly easy to do. You can either research/ask your bank about their high yield accounts or do some googling to find some other bank. Then transfer your money and there you go! When looking at banks understand that the highest Annual Percent Yields (APY), or the interest they will reward you, are going to be from online banks because they have less operational costs than a brick and mortar, but they will also come with their own disadvantages, like less ATMs to access or the inability to use when outside of your country so make sure to look into that. IMPORTANT: Make sure that whatever bank you choose is FDIC-insured so if the bank were to ever collapse or lose your money you have insurance up to $250,000.This won't generate a lot of extra cash, but an extra $20 every year is better than $0.

Retirement:

These accounts usually go by your current situation and what you see for your future.

401K: Probably the most known (I believe it’s only in the States but there might be something close to it in other countries) and that’s just because this is what employers usually offer if they offer anything. It is a retirement fund that your employer will set up and you can predefine how much of your paycheck you want to automatically go into it every time. Sometimes, the employers will also have a match program, and if they do you better max out the money they will contribute because that is FREE money! Most advice that I have seen has said to really only focus on this fund if your employer has that match program, otherwise I would focus on one of the accounts below. https://www.investopedia.com/articles/retirement/08/401k-info.asp

IRA: An IRA stands for Individual Retirement Account. There are three kinds…

                         Traditional: This IRA lets you put in pre-tax money and lets it grow tax-free until you make a withdrawal. Once you make the withdrawal that money is taxed at the current rate of your income at the time. Your contributions are tax deductible so you can write them off of your taxable income of that year. There are limits to how much you can contribute depending on your income, status, and whether you have another retirement fund as well.

                          Roth: With this IRA your contributions are taxed, but when you withdrawal money later on it is tax free. For those of you in a lower tax bracket than you believe you will be in the future, this IRA makes the most sense as you will pay less taxes now than you will when you are 59 ½ (The official age of retirement in the States). There are limits to how much you can contribute depending on your income, status, and whether you have another retirement fund as well.

                           SEP: Simplified Employee Pension. This is also an employer-based plan and may also work better for my self-employed gals out there. I don’t really know a lot on this one so I’ll just leave a link you can look into if it interests you: https://www.investopedia.com/ask/answers/102714/how-does-simplified-employee-pension-sep-ira-work.asp

You can have both a traditional and Roth IRA as long as you are eligible for both. Anyone with earned income (with a job or can prove a steady income) can contribute to a Traditional IRA, however with a Roth IRA, as a single you can earn up to $139,000 and contribute. Personally, if you are just getting started with all of this just set up one IRA and as you learn more you can take steps to get another or switch accounts.

https://www.investopedia.com/retirement/roth-vs-traditional-ira-which-is-right-for-you/

There are a plethora of other accounts, but they are more specialized and the top four should get you started on the right path to saving for retirement. I’m guessing that the majority of the audience reading these are women between the ages of 20-30. Trust me when I say that I love to spend money as much as the next girl, but I also would like to be completely comfortable should anything happen in my older years that screws up my marriage or job, and no one is going to secure that for you.

Also, I’m sorry this is so US-based, but once again it is all I know. I believe IRAs are more widespread than a 401K, but all that takes to find out is a Google search on your part.

Either way, make sure you have a plan going into 2021 for your savings and retirement because this economic whirlwind is far from over and there is always a chance for another recession, depression, or disaster. (Wow O, way to keep the mood light)

This was getting way too long with the investments added so look out for Pt.2.2 on the overview for investments (where the actual fun begins and I can stop being such a stick in the mud)…

VOCAB TO KNOW/RESEARCH:

Financial independence

Financial Confidence

APY

Roth IRA

brokerage account

High yield savings account

principal

401K

Traditional IRA

Once again… if in these posts I ever give bad advice, F- something up, or am just generally ignorant PLEASE call me out! Remember that just like you I am a young woman figuring everything out and while I am confident when talking about money, I am by no means a genius (only in spurts) so any chance to learn I appreciate. I hope you all learned something new today and as always…

With Love,

O

[etherealwaifgoddess]

A Good Night’s Sleep, Pt.1

Main Characters: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Bucky has been plagued with nightmares since he left HYDRA and the Avengers all have been trying to help him overcome them. Bucky meets you by chance on a coffee run and finds that the solution he was avoiding might be exactly what he needs.

Warnings/ Content: brief mention of PTSD

Word Count: 3.6k

Author’s Note: Hello lovelies! So this little 3 part series came from an idea that @marinaaniseed had a few weeks ago. I absolutely couldn’t get the idea out of my head and so, while I should have been working on my many WIPs, this little fic was born. Parts two and three are going up immediately after this, it’s all done and I don’t feel like dragging it out. Hope you all enjoy it as much as I have. Especially you @marinaaniseed, thank you so much for the idea!!! XOXO- Ash

A Good Night’s Sleep, Part One

“Come on, Buck.” Steve calls out while banging on Bucky’s door, “You gotta wake up, pal.”

Bucky wakes with a jolt, his body rigid and his throat sore from screaming. He’s panting hard, trying to adjust to the world around him. He pulls himself out of bed on shaky legs, wobbling down the hall to open the door right as Steve goes to knock again. “Sorry. Again.” he rasps. 

“Want to come get a cup of tea with me?” Steve offers with sympathetic eyes.

“Nah, I’m gonna grab a shower. Go back to sleep, Stevie.” 

“You know you can talk to me about it if you want to.” 

“I know. I’ll be okay.” Bucky insists, closing the door to end the discussion. 

Under the burning hot spray of the shower Bucky lets himself breakdown. 

After Wakanda Steve had convinced Tony to let him live at the tower with the rest of the team and everyone had been leery of the former assassin joining their ranks. As they slowly came to know him though, he became a welcome addition to their little family of Avengers. The only issue was the nightmares that woke not only Bucky, but everyone else on their floor. Bucky hadn’t slept through the night since he escaped HYDRA, plagued with visions of the destruction he’d wrought as the Winter Soldier. It was an endless stream of death and terror every night when he closed his eyes. When he was on his own in Romania he’d accepted it as his penance for what he’d done. After Shuri and her team pulled him out of Cryo in Wakanda he hadn’t been hopeful the nightmares were gone along with the trigger words. And he had been right - they persisted. 

Bucky warned Steve when he invited him to live at the tower with the team. He told him he had nightmares and was prone to have low days where he just needed solitude to work through his own mind. Steve had promised he’d have his own living quarters and the team would understand. They all had their demons, afterall. The team was very understanding the first days but after that the concerned glances turned to long, worried looks and the team started speaking up.

Bruce had been the first to speak up, suggesting therapy to help him work through what was causing his nightmares. Bucky went and as much as he liked his therapist, nothing they tried stopped the nightmares. Even the meds blew through his system too fast to be of any use. She did give him some good tips for managing his PTSD and depression during the day though, so Bucky considered it a win and still went to see her once a week. 

Nat gave him a spicy Russian tea she swore would knock him out enough that no dreams would come. Nat was wrong, all Bucky got out of the tea was heartburn. She grumbled something under her breath in Russian that sounded a lot like “cursed’ the next morning over breakfast. 

Steve took him for a long run before bed one night, thinking the endorphin high and exhaustion would help Bucky sleep soundly. It helped Steve sometimes with his own dreams of war. It didn’t help with the nightmares, it only made him more exhausted the next day after getting little sleep. 

Tony offered to get him drunk but it would take entirely too much alcohol to overcome the serum in his veins so he declined the offer. 

Wanda suggested she try popping in his mind while he was having a nightmare to see if she could reshape it and try to correct whatever in his mind was causing him to have the dreams. Bucky threw up at the idea of someone meddling in his mind again.

The care and suggestions from the team were sweet, and Bucky knows they have the best intentions at heart, but it’s all still a little overwhelming. Bucky wants to stop having nightmares, he would do anything to sleep for more than three or four hours a night. A small part of him still thinks it’s punishment from some higher power for everything he’s done, but rationally he understands it’s just his PTSD. 

After his shower, Bucky trudges out to the team kitchen for coffee. If he isn’t going to sleep he might as well start on his caffeine routine. Sam is already in the kitchen whipping up a smoothie for himself while Natasha stares at him over a cup of tea, the human embodiment of heart eyes on her face. 

“Mornin’.” he rumbles as he crosses the kitchen, rummaging for his favorite cup in the dishwasher. 

“Another bad one, huh.” Nat asks, but it really isn’t a question.

“Yeah, sorry.” 

“You’ve got to figure these out, James.” 

“I know it.” 

“I know what you need.” Sam interjects causing both Bucky and Nat to whip around to stare at him. Sam just shrugs, “You need to get laid, man.” 

Bucky chokes on his coffee. “What?” 

“You. Need. To. Get. Laid.” Sam repeats slowly. “Seriously, man. Find yourself a nice girl, or a guy, and get some. You’ll be all happy and cosy and you’ll nod right off. No nightmares if you’re wrapped up in the arms of a good woman, or man.” 

Bucky shakes his head, the last thing he needs is to terrorize some poor person trying to spend the night.

“It’s not a bad idea.” Nat agrees.

“Not happening.” Bucky says with a warning tone. He fills his cup and retreats to his bedroom, unwilling to continue the conversation. Adding another person to his mess of a life is not the solution. 

Sam’s suggestion spreads through the team like wildfire. Everyone seems to have a friend they could set him up with. Tony even hacks into his smartphone and adds apps for Tinder, Grindr, and Match.com. Bucky deletes them quickly before chewing Tony out about privacy rights. It becomes a bit of a running joke within the group and Bucky is less than thrilled about it. Bucky hasn’t had a date since 1941 and he isn’t sure how to navigate dating in the 21st century. He knows the times have changed, people are more free with their sexualities and casual relationships are normal instead of taboo. Eventually, he thinks, eventually he’ll get back out there. But certainly not just for the sake of random sex. 

Bucky has another particularly rough night. One where he doesn’t dare sleep because the second his eyes close the images start up like a motion picture. He’d spends the night alternating between pacing and reading, trying to not be disruptive while everyone else sleeps. Sam and Steve get up for their run just before dawn and find him pacing in the common room. 

“Did you sleep at all?” Steve asks him.

“I will later. Probably.” Bucky grumbles. 

Sam shakes his head, “Let’s go get coffee. You look like hell.”

Bucky can’t argue with that and instead goes to grab his shoes with a nod.

The city is bustling despite the early hour and the line at their favorite coffee shop is almost to the door. It’s worth the wait though and Bucky likes the thrumming energy of the shop, the blur of muted sounds around him oddly comforting. The woman in front of them is fidgeting with her leather bag, it must have something heavy in it the way she keeps adjusting the strap on her shoulder. Bucky tries not to let his gaze linger too long but the way her long hair falls in soft waves all the way down to the small of her back is distracting. The even softer looking rounded curves of her body are even more distracting, he admits to himself. She reminds him of the women in Renaissance paintings, when lush curves were still revered, before these modern stick thin bodies became the ideal. Bucky wishes the Winter Soldier could go back and pay a visit to whoever started the “thigh gap” craze. 

The woman adjusts the leather strap again and a small white card flutters out onto the floor behind her. Bucky reaches down to pick it up, noticing the card has business information on it. Sam and Steve are chatting and distracted when Bucky taps the woman on the shoulder, “I think you dropped your business card.” he says hesitantly. 

You’re cursing yourself for lugging everything along with you in your enormous bag when you feel a tap on your shoulder followed by a warm masculine voice. You absolutely do not have business cards, you’re a freelance writer and market yourself entirely online. It has to be another pick up line, probably from some smarmy Wall Street asshole who wants to slum it with an artsy girl for a change. You’ve been burned by that type enough times and won’t let yourself do it again, no matter how long it’s been since you’ve had a date. “Does that line work a lot for you?” you reply, turning around with an unamused expression. 

Bucky’s face falls, upset he’s offended you when all he was trying to do was return what you’d dropped. “I wasn’t. I don’t. You. Um, you dropped this. It fell out of your bag.” Bucky fumbles for words, blushing brightly and drawing the attention of Sam and Steve who wear twin smirks of amusement watching him flounder. 

Your irritation dissipates when you see the gorgeous, stuttering man in front of you. He’s tall, though not quite as tall as his companions, his dark hair falls around his shoulders in a way that is either true bedhead or carefully crafted styling to mimic it. His grey blue eyes are wide and honest, clearly not some smarmy pick up artist like you’d assumed. He’s wearing a black hoodie and dark grey sweatpants so it’s unlikely he was the business card type either. You force yourself to stop ogling the poor man and look at the tiny card in his outstretched hand. Recognizing it immediately, you realize you’re the asshole in this scenario. “Shit, that is mine.” you curse, “I’m so sorry. I don’t usually have business cards but my friend gave me this one yesterday for a new bakery that went in over on 2nd Avenue.” 

Bucky looks at the card for a second before you take it from him. “So you’re not Beth Yardley?” 

You raise an eyebrow at him, wondering if that’s now a ploy to get your name. You really need to be less suspicious but after living in the city for five years you’ve become jaded. He’s cute though. “Nope, Y/N. Nice to meet you…?”

“Bucky.” he offers quickly.

The name doesn’t ring a bell, but he looks familiar for some reason. “Nice you meet you, Bucky. Thanks for saving that card for me. I’m dying to try these cinnamon buns my friend keeps raving about.”

Bucky is smiling again, hoping his face doesn’t betray how eager he is to keep the conversation going. He wasn’t trying to hit on you a few minutes ago but now that he’s seen your face and heard your voice, he sure as hell is. “I love cinnamon buns.” 

You stifle your laugh at the way his cheeks burn bright pink after his admission. He has to be flirting at this point. And he really is cute. Damnit. “We should go try them, then.” you decide, giving him a chance to make a move. 

Bucky feels like he’s swallowed his tongue, “As in, together?” 

“Yeah, sorry if I wasn’t clear. This is me hitting on you now.” you smirk at him as his blush spreads.

Sam is leaning on Steve as they fight for composure, trying not to erupt in laughter and ruin their friends moment. Bucky glares at their backs for a moment before realizing he still hasn’t answered, “Yeah. Yes. Let’s do that.” 

Getting a better look at his companions you realize why he looks so familiar. Of all the people to meet in a coffee shop, you muse. You’re still interested though. “Are you free after this? I was going to get my coffee to go and then head straight there for breakfast.” 

“I’m free. These idiots can find their own way home.” 

“Great. Now, the deciding factor is: icing or no icing? Think hard Bucky, there are two camps of people and if you fall into the wrong one I’ll be forced to shame you for all eternity.” 

Bucky’s eyes widen, worried he’s going to mess up two seconds into what could potentially be a date. “Icing?” he tries.

“Right answer!” you announce him happily. Then, in a conspiratorial tone, you whisper, “It wasn’t really a deal breaker but it’s good to know you’re not some sugar hating monster.” 

Bucky’s grin widens, “No, I have a serious sweet tooth.”

“We’re gonna get along just fine.” you assure him. 

After you order your coffee, quad shot latte with whole milk don’t judge me, and Bucky orders his, the biggest white mocha frapp you have please, you swipe your card before he has a chance to get his wallet out. Bucky balks at you paying but you tell him he can get it next time with a flirty smile that has his brain shutting off, unable to continue complaining. 

Steve and Sam give Bucky small waves and thumbs up, not interfering when Bucky leaves with you. “Your friends seem nice.” you say kindly as you step out onto the busy city sidewalk.

“They’re the best.” Bucky agrees with a nod. 

You make idle chit chat on your way to the bakery, keeping the topics light and superficial. Bucky tells you he grew up in Brooklyn, moved away for a bit, and recently moved to Manhattan with his friends. He seems hesitant as he explains it and you realize he’s trying to not be obvious about who he is. Like you couldn’t have already guessed.

You snort a laugh into your latte. “So what was Brooklyn like in the 30s?” you ask bluntly.

Bucky’s eyes practically bug out of his head, “How did you...?” 

You give him a half smile and shrug, “The hand is a good clue, plus your face was everywhere for a while. It doesn’t help that your best friends are Captain America and the Falcon.” 

Cringing, Bucky figures this will be the end of his almost date. “We don’t have to go get breakfast. I’ll understand if you don’t want to be seen with me.” 

You stop in the middle of the sidewalk, shocked by his response. “Whoa, hold on. I knew who you were before I asked you to join me. I don’t care what other people think about you or your past. You seem like a nice guy and I want to get to know you. The real you.” 

Bucky takes a moment to process your words, finding it hard to believe someone is willing to look beyond his past. He can't find a shred of deceit in your expression though, so he answers your question. “Well, there were less cars and it smelled worse if you can believe it.” 

You huff out a laugh, resuming your walk to the bakery. “I can’t. Tell me more.” 

Bucky tells you stories of the Brooklyn of his youth as you make your way across town. You aren’t in a hurry and Bucky is happy to spend extra time out in the warm sun with a beautiful woman. 

The bakery is a little glass fronted shop sandwiched between two larger brick buildings. You would have walked right past it if you hadn’t been looking for it. Bucky opens the door for you and you smirk, amused by the old fashioned gesture. The scent of vanilla and caramelized sugar hit you the second you’re inside. “Oh my god.” you groan the amazing smell. 

Bucky’s steps falter at the sound you made, trying desperately not to let his mind go where it was headed. “This place smells amazing.” he says, inhaling deeply.

“It had better taste as good as it smells or I’ll riot.” you joke. 

The line is short and before you know it, Bucky is ordering two iced cinnamon buns plus an assortment of other pastries he picks at random out of the display case. 

“Are we feeding an army?” you question as the tray piles higher and higher with plates of baked goods.

“Sorry,” he blushes, handing over his card to the waiting cashier, “Um, my metabolism is pretty high and I have to keep up with it or I get cranky.” 

“Ah, okay. No hangry super soldiers on my watch.” 

Bucky chuckles and nods. 

There’s a sunny spot in the window of the bakery with an unoccupied cafe table, Bucky motions towards it and it’s your turn to nod, following him over to it. The tray takes up most of the table and you perch your coffees on your respective sides, eager to dig into the spread in front of you. You go for the cinnamon bun first, knowing one of them is yours and not wanting to presume you’ll be trying any of the other treats. 

The taste of caramelized sugar and cinnamon explode on your tongue, eliciting yet another moan that makes Bucky fidget in his seat. “Okay, that’s it. I can die happy now.” you announce dramatically. 

Bucky takes a swipe of the icing off the top of his cinnamon bun and his eyes widen slightly. “Oh wow.” he lifts the entire bun up to take a large bite and closes his eyes happily as he chews. “This is incredible.” he says once he’s swallowed, quickly taking another large bite. His cheeks puff out adorably and you grin around your own bite of cinnamon bun. 

“I can’t believe you just bite it like that.” you tease. 

“Well, what else am I supposed to do with it?” 

You demonstrate the way you’ve been peeling yours apart from the outside in, “You uncoil it, like a normal human being.” 

“Takes too long.” Bucky scoffs, “My way is faster.” 

“But then it’s gone. My way you can enjoy it more.” 

“Pfft. I enjoy it plenty, and I would have time for two of them while you eat just one.” 

“Not all of us have super soldier metabolisms, one bun is enough.” 

Bucky looks at the four other plates on the tray and shakes his head, “Then I guess it’s good to be me.” 

You laugh at his antics as he takes another big bite, smiling while his cheeks chipmunk out again. The look you’re giving him almost makes him swallow wrong. He knows this look, he remembers it from the dance hall girls in the 30s. Attraction. Desire. You’re flirting with him in your own, unique, modern way. And Bucky is shocked to realize he’s been flirting back. He didn’t intend to get back out there so soon but here he is, enjoying breakfast with a beautiful woman. He wonders if you’re the type who would appreciate being asked out on a date, or if you’d rather exchange numbers and call him up when the mood strikes. A booty call, Sam had called it. Bucky still doesn’t get how there’s such a big difference between a booty call and a butt dial but thankfully Sam had corrected him when he got the reference wrong. 

Bucky finishes his cinnamon bun and starts in on a vanilla bean scone, enjoying the way the light glaze crackles as it gives way to the soft, buttery dough. You’re still enjoying your bun, about half way through, so Bucky tears the other pointed corner of the scone off and deposits it on your plate. “It’s really good.” he insists, not wanting you to miss out.

You glance from the bite of scone up to Bucky who’s looking at you hesitantly like he’s waiting to see if he’s done something right or wrong. You pop the bite of scone into your mouth, chewing slowly before nodding, “Yeah it is. Thanks.” 

Bucky practically beams. Maybe he can figure out 21st century flirting. He’s not sure if flirting via baked goods is a thing or not, but it absolutely should be. Bucky methodically works through all of the plates on the tray, offering you bits of each different item. You snag two bites of the cream puff but decline when he offers to buy you your own. The conversation shifts to the best meals you’ve had in the city. Food is an easy common ground for you both. You explain to Bucky that the small town you grew up in was pretty limited restaurant-wise and you’ve tried a lot of different places since moving to the city. You’re great in the kitchen but some days, after spending hours alone working at home, you like to get out and around other people for a while. 

“There’s an Italian place, Sapori, near the tower you would love.” Bucky tells you, “I don’t know what the big deal about the place is but Stark always gets reservations when we’re celebrating something. They make everything from scratch and it’s damn good. There’s these little pillowy pasta things. Starts with a g but you don’t pronounce it. I don’t know, but they’re amazing.”

“Gnocchi,” you say, stifling a laugh. 

“Yeah! Those. Best meal I’ve had in the city by far.” 

“That’s only because you haven’t had the food at Xián Tián.” 

“Well, you should let me take you to Sapori and then you’ll understand.” 

“Did you just ask me out?” you raise your eyebrows at him in surprise.

Bucky blushes and nods, suddenly feeling more shy. “Yeah. I did. This is me hitting on you now.” he says, paroting your words from earlier. 

“Well done, Barnes. When are we going?” 

Read part two HERE!

[fantasylandandocean]

Padme and fandom perception

I  have been reading a lot of meta about Padme lately and how she is received by fandom and how often she is shunned away as weak or stupid or a bad mother and I was thinking a lot about why that is. Padme is not the only character to make wrong decisions in the Saga nor is she the only female character  to do so. Leia lets her anger overtake her and encourages Chewie to strangle Lando in ESB and Rey keeps lying to herself about her parents for 19 years. Yet fandom seems to cheer on Leia about her so-called righteous anger and , well Rey is a different story because her parentage has been fanwanked to Mustafar and back and there are those who refuse the answer we were given in TLJ, but she is not getting as much flack as Padme either or if she does it is usually challenged by other parts of fandom.

With Padme that is not the case: people either bash her or headcanon her mistakes and weaknesses away, seemingly unable to reconcile the strong idealist with the woman who has her husband as her weakness. Part of it is how people except to see romance in fiction in today’s time. Around the time the PT was wrapping up, the Twilight series had become a pop culture phenomenon among teenage girls. I have never read the Twilight books or seen the movies and anything I know about the plot I learned it from media osmosis but I have an understanding that the level of critique it received for its main heroine’s obsession with the male lead was particularly vicious. People were going and on about how young girls will learn to romanticize abuse and end up in abusive relationships because of some silly books about vampires. As a result there was a lot of panic about whether a heroine who has romance as a central park of her story regains her agency when entering a relationship with a man (this is about hetero fictional romance, queer romance is approached differently by fandom though that’s another discussion). For example only one has to look with how many times the “Padme loved the Republic more than Anakin” line of thought has been stated through the internet. Because if a woman chooses a male partner then her personal agency is threatened and in a work of fiction, fandom can calm themselves over this perceived loss of agency by stating that the woman loves her career, her dog and her favourite TV show more than her partner. To do otherwise will strip her of her agency. 

Meanwhile male characters do not have the same burden so Anakin can kneel before Palpatine, beg him desperately to help him save her life and pledge himself to Sidious. That’s accepted and Anakin’s loss of his identity, agency and morality is not seen as something done because he is dependent on Padme. But when Padme confronts Anakin on Mustafar, her crying and pleading and emotional devastation, her wanting to help him and go away with him, her trying to salvage her family, make her an idiot and a spineless doormat. Apparently she should shot him while screaming “YOU PIG!!!” because any other reaction by a woman is weak.

Padme is also narratively “burdened” by her role as the mother of the OT heroes. She is held to an incredible high standard because as a mother she is not allowed to be flawed, make the wrong choice at the wrong time or show any suffering because of the emotional blows she receives. Instead she has to be the Saint Matron of Motherhood who never makes any mistakes and if not then she is a terrible mother that doesn’t care about her children and yes (!?!?) I have seen Padme been compared to mothers that throw their babies in the garbage or abusive mothers....Which is crazy, considering that when Padme hears about Anakin’s dream her first concern is the baby and when the twins are born she both manages to caress Luke’s cheek and even attempts to get a better look at Leia -who came second and therefore when Padme was closer to death-.

Last thing is a general confusion about how people proceed trauma. A person can face one bad experience and overcome and become devastated by another. A person can be strong in one way but weak in another. I have seen people headcanon that Anakin used a Jedi Mind Trick on Padme in AOTC because with the way she died, she surely must have been weak-minded. They ignore that just because someone gets emotionally shattered and can’t recover doesn’t mean that they are weak or lack conviction. If anything Padme refuses to compromise her morals in order to follow Anakin on the path he has chosen but also doesn’t lose her faith in him and the goodness that still resigns within him and in the end she is proven right. If that doesn’t show strength of character, I don’t know what does...

[swanqueeneverafter]

What Dreams May Come, Pt.12

Storybrooke. Swan-Mills House. Guest Room. (Robin Hood is pacing back and forth when Regina enters the room.) Regina: "You're lucky I was already planning on doing laundry when I bumped into you." Robin Hood: "Lucky? You prevented me from killing Nottingham." Regina: "I stopped you doing something you'd regret." Robin Hood: "Who says I'd regret it?" Regina: (Sighs:) "Well, trust me, someday you would. (When Robin flexes his hand, she notices the injury:) Here, let me see your hand." Robin Hood: "No, it's fine." Regina: "Okay then. Anyway I, brought you your clothes, blood free." Robin Hood: (Nods:) "Thank you." (Regina places the clothes on a chair, turns and leaves the room.) Dining Room. (Snow White and Regina discuss Robin's sudden reappearance in Storybrooke.) Snow White: "Regina, what were you thinking? How could you bring him here?" Regina: "It was either this or let him murder a man in the middle of Main Street." Snow White: "But you don't know who he is. Looking like Robin Hood doesn't make him the same person. Trust me, I once kissed David's twin. World of difference." Regina: "We've barely even talked." Snow White: "Well, there's some things you should probably tell him. Like, for example he has a daughter." Regina: "She's not his daughter." Snow White: "Exactly my point! They're different people." Regina: "I know the man in there isn't our Robin Hood. Our Robin is dead. Which is exactly why I told Alice to find my niece and keep her busy until we find out who or what this person is." Snow White: "It sounds as though you have some theories?" Regina: "My initial thought was that maybe this could've been our Robin. When Henry brought him back temporarily to speak with his daughter and take the Author's pen, maybe he somehow stayed in our world." Snow White: "But now?" Regina: (Shaking her head:) "This Robin doesn't know anything about us or Storybrooke. It's like he's straight out of..." Snow White: "Regina?" Regina: (Realising something:) "I have to call Emma. The search for Greg Mendell will have to wait, this is more important right now." Henry's Dreamscape. Kingdom of Valencia. Madelena's Chambers. (Henry and Madelena sit across from each other, beside a roaring fire.) Queen Madelena: "As I was saying, I have a plan that will allow me to remain as queen, and you will be well taken care of as my... Special companion." Henry: "Your boy toy, you mean. Is that how you see me? Hmm? As some well-groomed, ruggedly handsome, yet oddly delicate-featured plaything?" Queen Madelena: "Yeah. But, if you're the sort of man who needs romancing, I can certainly do that." Henry: (As music starts to play:) "Oh, no." Queen Madelena: ♪ I want you, I need you ♪ ♪ You cut me, and I bleed you ♪ ♪ You're like some kind of sonnet ♪ ♪ All I want to do is read you ♪ ♪ And (Hesitating:) I love you ♪ Henry: (Unimpressed:) “Uh huh.” (Madelena stands and crosses over to Henry.) Queen Madelena: ♪ I mean I (Almost gagging on the word:) love you ♪ Henry: “Yes. Thanks.” Queen Madelena: (Putting her hands on his shoulders:)  ♪ I said I love you ♪ Henry: “Yes, and you’re clearly sincere about it.” Queen Madelena: (Pulling him up out of his chair:) ♪ Dance with me ♪ (In hold, moves them to stand in front of a mirror:) ♪ Can't you see how freaking gorgeous we look? ♪ (Leading him across the floor, dancing:) ♪ Can't you feel the frantic beat of our hearts ♪ ♪ As our various parts rub with such delicious friction? ♪ ♪ Dance with me ♪ ♪ Why not finish what's already begun? ♪ Henry: ♪ So, what you're saying is you love me ♪ Queen Madelena: ♪ I love you ♪ Henry: ♪ Really love me ♪ Queen Madelena: ♪ I love you ♪ ♪ As much as someone like me can love anyone ♪ (Henry holds on to Madelena as she goes into a deep dip.) Queen Madelena: (Upside down:) “Does that clear things up for you?” Henry: (Letting go of her hands as she drops to the floor:) “Yeah, got it. Thanks.”

Castle Courtyard. Gallows. (Three men stand at the gallows ready to be executed. One of them, The Chef, with noose still around his neck has just finished telling the King of Madelena's betrayal.) King Richard: "Are you hearing this, Gareth? My own wife tries to trick me into killing my favorite chef so she can save the hero. (To Chef:) You sure it was her? Pretty girl, tiny waist, big eyes?” Chef: “Definitely, My King.” King Richard: (Scoffs:) “No one has it as bad as I do, Gareth. No one!” (The King slams his hand down in frustration, triggering a lever that executes Prisoner 1.) Prisoner 1: “Aaaaaaaah!” Gareth: "Uh... Don't worry." King Richard: "Why do I continually allow people to treat me this way? Oh, come on. Forget I'm your king and talk to me like your friend." Gareth: "All right. You keep acting like a prat. You need to be more of a geezer. You know, I've tried to tell you time and time again. You don't turn your ear." King Richard: "Oh, Gareth. I can't understand a word you say. Let me ask you this, then. (Thoughtlessly tapping the second lever:) Do you like me, Gareth? I mean, you know, as a... as a person?" (The King turns back to face Gareth to gauge his reaction, leaning on the second lever as he does, executing Prisoner 2.) Prisoner 2: "Aaaaaaah!" (Before Gareth can answer, a Page whispers something in his ear.) Gareth: "I gotta go. My queen needs me." King Richard: "Your queen? Mm. (Turns to the Chef:) Are you hearing this? Now it's his queen. Fine. Go ahead. Leave me, too. Be that guy. Go. Go." Gareth: "Yeah, okay." (Leaves.) King Richard: "Why am I like this? Why do I continually allow people to treat me this way?" Chef: (Just before the King can hit the third lever:) "Sire!" King Richard: "Hmm?" Chef: "I-I think I know something that may help you." King Richard: "Really? What?" Chef: "A-a nice full stomach. It always makes things better." King Richard: "Oh, Chef. What would I do without you?" (The King leaves the gallows and, sighing with relief, the Chef removes the noose and follows quickly after him.) Storybrooke. The Charmings' House. (David and Hook stand in front of David's investigation board.) David: "I'm glad you're here. I need your help. Tell me if you see anything, any connections, patterns." Hook: "All this because of a blasted coin?" David: "Look, I tried to fight it, but something... something happened. I saw my father's ghost." Hook: (Skeptically:) "You entirely sure about that?" David: "Yes, I'm sure. And don't tell me I need more sleep. I've had plenty, and I still saw him right outside, staring at me. I'd given up on him, Hook. What kind of son does that?" Hook: "A son with a family of his own." David: "I can't abandon one family for another. My father was a weak man, but he's still my father and he deserves justice. Now will you help me?" Hook: "Perhaps Emma would be better-suited to help. She's sheriff, after all, and Savior, and she has, you know, magic." David: "No, no, don't call Emma. I don't want to worry her or Snow. What I might have to do, they wouldn't approve of." Hook: "But you think I would?" David: "You're a pirate, and a pirate's what I need. Come on. You gave me an idea."

Swan-Mills House. (Robin Hood is looking through the Storybook.) Robin Hood: "So, everybody in this book lives here, in Storybrooke?" Regina: (Nods:) "Most of them. What we'd like to know is... how far along you are." Robin Hood: "Excuse me?" Regina: "Before you came here, what's the last thing you remember? What was your life like, were you married?" Robin Hood: (Scoffs:) "Married? No, I don't think so." Emma: (Sitting forward in her chair:) "Okay, well that at least gives us some sort of timeline." Robin Hood: (Confused:) "A timeline?" Regina: (Gently takes the Storybook from him:) "Sorry, it's not a good idea to know too much about your future." Robin Hood: "I see." Emma: (To Robin:) "Could you excuse us a moment? (Emma, Regina and Zelena all get up and move to another room:) So, we know that this Robin isn't from our dreamscape, the timeline doesn't fit." Zelena: "I'm sorry, you two were having a shared dream about Robin Hood?" Emma: "No... well not exactly. We were... It was..." Regina: (Firmly:) "Private." Zelena: "I see. So you two had a dreamscape sexcapade and somehow Robin Hood turns up in Storybrooke?" Emma: "Look, we already told you it can't have been that. In our dream Robin was already married to Marian." Regina: "If indeed that was Marian. Let's not rule out the possibility that it could've been you, Zelena." Zelena: (Scoffs:) "I think I would've remembered being part of one of your trysts, thanks." Regina: "Well what was your dreamscape about? What did you do there?" Zelena: (Hesitates:) "Mine? It was... mine was... Nevermind! I went into my dreamscape alone, it's you two that must've caused all this." Emma: "Sure, blame us, why not." Zelena: "Well no one else has a history of merging realms do they? I think, you two had some earth shattering sex, somehow that sent the dream world haywire and Robin is the result. And now he's stuck here walking the streets of Storybrooke." (Emma and Regina look to each other, considering this chain of events.) Regina: "If that really is the case, then the solution should be straight forward. We take Robin to Xanax's laboratory, he goes through the door and back into the dream world where he belongs." Emma: "Do you think it'll be that simple?" Regina: (Shrugs:) "Is anything ever that simple?" Zelena: "Yeah, well you better hope it works before his daughter bumps into him in the street and decides she wants him to stay." Regina: "He's not-" Robin Hood: (Entering the room:) "Excuse me? (All three women turn to look at him:) Did you say I have a daughter?" Storybrooke. Main Street. (In an attempt to keep Robin busy, Alice has asked her out on a 'day date'.) Robin: "So, remind me never to play 'Clue' with you." Alice: "Why's that?" Robin: "Well, apparently, it was Ms. Scarlett, in the shipping container, with a gun.” (They walk over to a vendor and Robin asks for two candy apples.) Alice: (Groans:) “I still can't believe it happened. Luckily, Rumple's alright and Belle's being really cool about it. She said she told Rumple to get rid of that gun several times. She’s more angry at him, than me.” Robin: (Offering an apple to Alice:) "Here, try this." (They continue walking as Alice tries the apple.) Alice: (Taking a bite:) "This is the most delicious thing I've ever eaten. I had no idea you could candy on fruit." Robin: "You can put candy on anything if you try hard enough. It's a worthy goal." Alice: "So, what's next?" Robin: "Actually, that's up to you. It's your turn, show me something you like." Alice: "I know just the place." (Alice offers her arm and Robin takes it.)

Henry's Dreamscape. Kingdom of Valencia. (Queen Madelena leads Henry down the steps towards the dungeons.) Henry: "Um, why are we back in the dungeon?" Queen Madelena: "Just wait here. I'll come get you when it's time. Someone's coming to help execute my plan." Guard: (Pushing Henry inside:) "Move along." Dungeons. (Ella sees Henry and runs to him.) Ella: "Henry! I thought you were dead." Henry: "No but, given my choices, I haven't ruled that option out." Ella: "Queen Madelena, you have me, you have the jewel. Now you must release my people." Queen Madelena: "Must I?" Ella: "Yes. You have to." Queen Madelena: "Have I?" Ella: "Yes." Queen Madelena: "Really?" Ella: "Why are you just repeating everything I say as a question?" Queen Madelena: "Am I just repeating everything you say as a question?" Ella: "You... Don't hear it?" (Several prisoners mutter their agreement with Ella.) Henry: "You're sort of doing it a little bit." Ella: "I must speak with King Richard." Queen Madelena: "My dear girl... I am not King Richard, but I will enjoy killing you just the same. (Suddenly, Madelena grabs Henry and gives him a prolonged kiss, shoving him away when Gareth enters the dungeons:) Ah, Gareth. (Points to Ella:) Cut her face. Torture the rest." Gareth: (As Henry and Ella are taken back to their cells:) "Excuse me?" Queen Madelena: "I said torture them. Is there a problem?" Gareth: "No. There's not a problem. I like torturing. I'm pretty good at it. I once kept a guy alive for a week, and he was just a head and a finger. But that order came from the king, and I serve My King.” Queen Madelena: “Your king is weak, Gareth. You know this. He cries like a baby, he cares like a woman. He makes decoupage footstools as a hobby.” Gareth: “Hey! That was a birthday present. He got me that so I could have a sit down.” Queen Madelena: “You're a dog, Gareth. And a dog needs a strong master. Now sic 'em.” Storybrooke. Regina's Vault. (Zelena has brought Robin Hood to her sister's vault to clear the air.) Zelena: "Right, now that we're in a safe, secure location, we need to talk." Robin Hood: "I'm listening." Zelena: (Sighs:) "The other Robin, the one we knew here in Storybrooke, he had a child. Well, two, actually, but only one is here. A daughter. But, I mean, she's not yours. Not really." Robin Hood: "Does the mother know that? Who even is the mother?" Zelena: "I am. Our relationship, me and the other Robin that is, was complicated." Robin Hood: "Apparently, everything here is complicated." Zelena: (Smiles:) "I'll give you that. (Curiously:) Were you really going to kill Nottingham?" Robin Hood: (Scoffs:) "You're not seriously going to judge me for that are you? I mean bloody hell, look around. I know dark magic when I see it. I mean, wh-what's in these?" Zelena: (Glances at the boxes:) "Uh, the hearts of my sister’s enemies, I believe." Robin Hood: "Oh. And this? This looks nasty enough." Zelena: "Oh, no, don't touch that! It's powerful." (Picks up a silver box and moves it out of reach.) Robin Hood: "Just who are you people? What aren't you telling me." Zelena: (Sighs again:) "My sister is the Evil Queen and I'm the Wicked Witch. Okay? Happy now? My history with you... with Robin Hood, it ended badly." Robin Hood: "Yeah, and judging by some of the stuff here, I can guess how, too." Zelena: "Look, we've changed. I don't know for sure what brought you here but since you are, you could be a part of a fresh start. Your fresh start." Robin Hood: (Considers her:) "And maybe one of your own, too?" Zelena: "Maybe. (Chuckles:) I don't know. When I first heard you were here I just wanted you gone as soon as possible." Robin Hood: "But now?" Zelena: "I think if we give ourselves a chance, maybe your being here could be a good thing." Robin Hood: (Sighs:) “Truth be told, compared to your version, there doesn’t seem like I have a lot to be getting back to. So, if you’re sure, I don’t necessarily see the harm in sticking around for awhile.” Zelena: “Hm, I still don’t want my daughter seeing you just yet, so you’ll have to keep out of sight for the time being.” Robin Hood: “Not a problem, in theory.” Zelena: “In theory?” Robin Hood: “Well, a man like me, a man of action, I will need to be kept entertained. Otherwise I could just get bored, wander off and turn up anywhere.” Zelena: “I see. And how do you suppose a man, such as yourself, would prefer his entertainment?” Robin Hood: “I guess that would depend on how much of a ‘fresh start’ you would like to have with the legendary Robin Hood.” (Shaking her head at the man’s bravado, Zelena considers his words, before making her decision.)

Swan-Mills House. (Emma and Regina discuss their options.) Regina: "I think you're overreacting." Emma: "He is literally a walking, talking reminder of our dreamscape, Regina." Regina: "We don't even know that's where he came from." Emma: "Consider the facts: Robin Hood is dead, buried, gone. Even if he were Robin's ghost, he'd know who we all are. Face it, we did this, we brought him here." Regina: "Then what about the timelines? If this Robin came from our shared dream, he would've been married to Marian, he would at least know who she was." Emma: "Okay, well if he isn't from our dreamscape, where did he come from?" Regina: "I don't know! There could be dozens of possible answers. He could be from a Wish Realm or he could've time travelled." Emma: (Skeptically:) "Seriously?" Regina: "Oh, cause that's so hard to believe, Princess Leia." Emma: "All right, fine. I just think until we know who or what he is, we need to cool it on the shared dreaming." Regina: "No." Emma: "Gina-" Regina: "No way. You know how much better I've been sleeping recently." Emma: "Yes, but-" Regina: "And how much closer we've become." Emma: "I know, but-" Regina: (Moving closer to her on the couch:) "Not to mention all the things we've yet to do... (Running her fingers teasingly over Emma's thigh:) that we could never possibly get away with in the real world." Emma: (Closing her eyes as many different scenarios suddenly flash before her eyes. Huskily:) "Regina..." Regina: (Moving even closer, nuzzling Emma's ear:) "I just think it'd be such a shame to never... ever... experience those possibilities that have been... (Nudging Emma's knees apart:) Opened to us." Emma: (Sighs, tilting her head back to allow Regina access:) "You don't play fair." Regina: (Smiling against her neck:) "No, I play to win." Swan-Mills House. Exterior. (Pulling up with Hook in his truck, David heads towards the garden.) Hook: "Why are we here?" David: "Like you said, Emma has magic, we don't." Hook: "Hang on. What is this?" David: "Emma and Regina are busy doing other things, right? So we borrow a few ingredients and a spell book, and we learn what happened to my father." Hook: (Pulling him back:) "Wait. Stop. Are you trying to cast a spell?" David: "Look, if you're too afraid, forget about it. I'll do it myself." Hook: "I'm not afraid. I'm concerned. You really have no qualms about stealing from your own daughter?" David: "What is with you today? You spend your whole life a thieving pirate, and the one time I need you to be that guy, you get cold feet." (David and Hook sneak into the back garden.) Hook: "Perhaps I'm trying not to be that guy anymore." David: "Come on, buddy. It's just me here. Now, I need you to pick the lock to the shed and then be a lookout. What do you say? (Reluctantly, Hook walks over to Regina's shed and, after a few moments, successfully manages to pick the lock:) There. That wasn't so hard. Now you keep watch." (Irritated beyond words by David's less than charming attitude, Hook nevertheless sneaks over to one of the back windows to check if anyone is at home. Peering in, Hook catches a glimpse of something sink behind the couch. Seeing no further movement, he dismisses it as nothing and returns to the shed. Unbeknownst to Hook, hidden by the back of the couch, Regina and Emma are busy making out, with Emma now wholeheartedly seeing Regina's point of view.) David: (Meeting Hook on the way out of the shed:) "Anyone home?" Hook: "No." David: "Right. Good work. Now let's find out who murdered my father."

Henry's Dreamscape. Kingdom of Valencia. Dungeons. (Gareth stands sharpening his tools of torture while Henry and Ella talk through the bars of their adjoining cells.) Ella: "All right, we need an escape plan. What are you thinking?" Henry: "Here's what I think: If you really break it down... 'I love you as much as someone like me could love anyone' can mean a lot of things." Ella: "Oh, come on. She's the worst! She imprisoned us. I mean, yes, she's beautiful, in a perfect-skin, perfect-body, perfect-hair kind of way, if you're into that sort of thing." Henry: "Mm." Ella: "I know you, Henry. I know your heart, and you deserve better. You deserve to be with someone who will lift you up as a man, someone who will fight with you, not against you." Henry: "So what you're saying is... you don't think she loves me?" (The other occupants of the dungeon all groan.) Jester: "Bloody hell. Oh, please, just stop the torture and kill me already." Gareth: "I haven't started yet." Jester: "He's not part of it?" Gareth: "Will everybody just shut up?! (Pointing one of his weapons at the Jester:) Do you want to know what real torture is?” Jester: “No, I'm good. Thanks.” Gareth: (Sighs, drops the mace and takes a seat on the stool:) “Imagine being loyal to someone your whole life. I'm not gonna tell you who, but hypothetically, we'll call him ‘the king.’ He's a bit of a ponce, but I like him. Then he gets married to this rump-fed basket cockle, who, hypothetically, we'll call ‘the queen.’” Henry: “We all know who you're talking about, Gareth.” Gareth: “Yeah but let me be cryptic for a minute, will ya?! Just give me that! Now, she's not like ‘the king.’ But she's strong, and I admire strength. But, then again, I've sworn an oath to protect the king. So I don't know what to do. I mean, that's real torture, isn't it, lads?” (Frustrated, Gareth gets to his feet and leaves the dungeons. Henry and Ella return their attention to each other.) Ella: "Seriously, Henry, you can't really be thinking about being with Madelena. When you love someone, you shout it from the rooftop, not couch it in a riddle." Henry: "I know." Ella: "You do?" Henry: "Of course I do. I come from a family of True Love. My parents, my grandparents. I just wanted you to think I was considering her offer to see how you'd react." Ella: "So you were testing me?" Henry: "I wanted to know if my feelings for you were in any small way reciprocated. (Pushing open his cell door:) It was cruel I know, but at least now I can see you do feel something for me." Ella: "Of course I do, you dope. (Pushing open her cell door:) Henry, you're not like any man I've ever met before." Henry: "And you inspire me to do things I never thought I could. Well, actually you more or less boss me into doing those things, but still." (They share a good natured laugh.) Ella: "Well, how's that for timing? Our stars are finally aligning on the same day I'm going to die." Henry: "No. No, you're not gonna die today. (Points at the occupants of the other cells:) And you're not gonna die today. And you're not gonna die today. (Gestures to a cell with a prisoner inside who hasn't moved since they've been in the dungeons:) You might already be dead." Ella: "Well, what are you going to do?" Henry: "What else? Save the day. (Henry goes to leave the dungeons when he turns back:) Have these doors been open the whole time? No one thought to check? (The Jester tests his cell door, which also opens:) Really?" Throne Room. (Madelena paces the floor when Gareth enters.) Queen Madelena: "Is it done? Did you torture them?” Gareth: “Nah.” Queen Madelena: “But I gave you an order.” Gareth: “I don't give a rat's arse about your orders. I might be a dog, but at least I'm a loyal one, love. Now, I serve the king, so I only follow his orders.” King Richard: (Standing in the doorway with Chef:) “That is so nice to hear. (Walks towards them:) You have always been my most loyal friend, Gareth. I know you're not a hugger, but if you were, I would wrap myself around you like a leather jacket made of love.” Gareth: (Clearly uncomfortable:) “Mm.” King Richard: “Okay, couple of things. First, Chef, I am so munchy. Could you make me, like, a cheesy omelette with some ham chunks, potatoes fried in bacon grease?” Chef: “Right away, sire.” (He leaves.) King Richard: “Excellent. (To Madelena:) Next, I'm breaking up with you. Gareth, would you please escort Madelena down to the dungeon and lock her up forever? Huh?” Gareth: (Nods his approval to the king, then grabs Madelena’s arm:) “Come on.” Queen Madelena: “Wait! It would be rude to imprison your queen when we have such a special visitor.” King Richard: “What visitor? What are you talking about?” Kingsley: (Sitting on the throne:) “Hello, brother.” King Richard: “Kingsley?” Gareth: ��What's he doing here?” King Richard: “What are you doing here?” Kingsley: “I'm here to take your life.” King Richard: “My life?” Kingsley: (Stepping down from the dais:) “Your lifestyle. Your kingdom. Of course, if you get in my way, I'll have to take your life, too... Dickie.” Queen Madelena: (Laughing:) “Oh, this is going to be fun.”

[winryofresembool]

Love Can Melt the Ice, ch. 19

Summary: Figure skating time! Part 2.

A/N: I’m not gonna say much this time. I just... really hope you guys will enjoy this one. It’s important. Thank you ♥

Previous chapters:  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 5.5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15 pt 1, pt 2, 16, 17, 18

Next chapter: x

Companion pieces (note: these are all post Olympics happenings so reading the main fic first is recommended): 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

Words:4543 (yup. A monster)

Genre: hmmm.

Warnings: pls have your tooth brushes nearby.

Winry closed her eyes for a moment and peeked through the glass door again. Was she really seeing correctly? Ed? Talking with Mei Chang? Alone, without Al? What was he doing with her? There was no mistaking him, though; she could clearly see his long golden mane, the crutches in his hands and the cast in his left leg.

She knew they hadn’t seen her yet and tried to figure out how to get out of the arena without being noticed. If she just marched out there and asked what was going on, she would probably get to hear a bunch of lies, making the situation even worse. Still, she couldn’t stand behind the door either; people were coming in and out, and she’d get caught staring. She decided to use another exit on the other side of the arena, casting one last look towards the door before biting her lip and turning away.

Had Winry stayed 10 seconds longer, she would have seen Al joining Ed and Mei, giving Mei something as he arrived. Not long after, the group separated, Ed leaving towards the hotel, Al and Mei towards a restaurant. But she didn’t see any of that, so her mind was racing 120 km/hour as she took the longer route to another exit.

One, a small part of her was yelling extremely loud curses in her head, but the rational part of her tried to convince her that what she had just seen meant nothing. Maybe Ed had just been waiting to see her and accidentally bumped into Mei. Winry knew Mei well enough to know she was very familiar with hockey, so maybe she had recognized Ed and wanted to introduce herself. Besides, after the sweet, private moments in her room, would Ed really just ignore all that? That didn’t seem like something he would do.

Winry realized that if she was going to make this, what could be a beginning of a meaningful relationship, work, she had to trust him. And in the end, nothing about the meeting she had witnessed had suggested anything more than a friendly encounter. But still, where had Al been? And why had she smiled so widely at him? And why did all of this have to happen now that she was supposed to focus on her competition and they were going to leave to their home country in only a few days?

When Winry got back into her hotel room, she decided to do what best calmed down her mind; drawing blueprints for her next mechanical project. When she began drawing, she had no idea what she wanted to make, but soon the sketch started to become clearer; it resembled an arm. At first she thought she was unconsciously drawing the exact copy of Ed’s automail arm, but at closer inspection she realized it looked different. It looked more like the person whom she was imagining using it; a flame symbol decorated the top plate, reminding her of his fierce nature. Even though the material she wanted to use for this automail was lighter than the one he was now using, the layers it had made it stronger. She had to admit, she quite liked how it ended up looking.

Just when she was putting away her pencils and erasers, her phone started ringing.

“Granny! Hi! How are you doing?” Winry had been thinking about her grandmother quite a lot for the past few days, so hearing her familiar voice made her feel better.

“I’m doing just fine, dear. But I must say, I am slightly surprised you haven’t called me since the team event. I hope everything’s fine there, though, because it’s not like you to ignore your grandmother.”

“E-everything’s alright! I hope you saw my performance today. Only 0,10 points from the lead!”

“I saw it! You looked wonderful out there. But you don’t sound very convincing, I hope it really is alright.”

“It’s… a long story. Granny, I… like someone.”

“Really? Now that’s a surprise. I thought you are so into your sport you don’t have time for anything else.”

“Yeah… I kinda thought so too. So, do you remember Edward Elric from Resembool? Our ex neighbor?”

“Of course I do! You guys were always at it, fighting with each other all the time, but if someone dared to say a bad word about you, he was always there to defend you.” Pinako smiled at her memory. “Have you seen him there? Doesn’t he play hockey these days?”

“Yes, I have, and he does… You see… He’s kinda the person I like. And I think he likes me too.”

“Oh! Well, if he’s anything like his parents, I’m sure he’s a decent person.”

“He is… Only, today I saw him talking with my rival and… I don’t know what to think about it. I mean, it probably was nothing, but… I got jealous.”

“If he is in his right mind, he doesn’t even look at anyone else when he could have my granddaughter. Don’t worry, Winry. If that bothers you, why don’t you just ask him?”

“I already had one opportunity, but I chickened… And I can’t ask him now because I said we should keep some distance between us until my competition is over.”

“You have put yourself in quite a situation. But my advice is that just talk with him. That way you’ll know what exactly happened.”

“Right. Thanks, granny.”

“No problem.”

After saying her worries aloud, Winry realized how silly they must have sounded. After all, it wasn’t like Ed wasn’t allowed to talk with other girls. That’s why she decided to change the topic: “Hey, listen! I just drew some blueprints for an automail and I’d like you to take a look at it. I’ll send you a photo and you can then tell me your opinion on it!”

The grandmother and granddaughter spent the rest of the evening discussing Winry’s automail, Pinako giving Winry some advice and improvement suggestions and Winry doing the necessary changes. By the end of the evening, she was feeling like herself again, and was already imagining how Ed would react when she’d show him the blueprints.

 …

 “Next up, performing her free program, Winry Rockbell!”

Winry inhaled and exhaled deeply and shook her limbs to warm the muscles up before finally stepping on the ice. She had thought the previous performances would have calmed her nerves a bit, but as she was waiting for the music to start playing, she realized that this was every bit as hard as it had been earlier. Maybe even harder in a certain sense. The reason for that was sitting in the stands, or at least she assumed he did. For some reason, knowing that he was watching, made this performance more personal.

When Garfiel, who usually made Winry’s choreographies, had suggested her free program would have a romantic theme, Winry hadn’t liked the idea. Romantic love had always been a foreign area to her, and she had never even officially dated anyone even though the reason for that wasn’t the lack of interested people. It was the lack of interesting people. The few times she had been on dates, she had noticed the other person was on a totally different wave length from her, not caring about the same things she did, or asking her out simply because they had recognized her from TV. Sometimes she had wondered if there was something wrong with her, or if she was simply an a-sexual, but she hadn’t gotten answers to her questions until she arrived in the Olympic venue.

Was it love she was feeling towards Ed? Winry had always been one to think that real love didn’t strike anyone that fast, but when she had told Ed she was falling for him, she had meant it. She might not be quite there yet, but she was on her way. The thought of getting to spend more time with him and learn to know him even better excited her. On the other hand, she had felt jealous when she saw Ed with Mei, which was an emotion only familiar to her from her childhood when she had seen her classmates getting hugs and kisses from their parents, and she had only had her grandmother. She knew Ed could be a tough person to handle on his worst days, but somehow, she believed the good days would win them 100-0. If he gave her a chance…

Because of all this, she felt she understood the character she was acting in her performance a lot better now. Earlier, she had often gotten critique for performing the elements cleanly but lacking in the emotion department. The audience would see a robot doing what she was supposed to do, not having any emotional connection with the performance. Now, she wished that she could use her recent experiences to build a believable story that did move something in the audience’s hearts.

She quickly tested that her hair and the bright red dress with a lot of glitter on it (Garfiel’s idea) were where they were supposed to be and finally heard the first sounds of the romantic song starting to play, meaning it was go-time.

The first element in her free program was a triple Lutz – triple toe loop combination. She managed to land it cleanly, but was worried her body language was screaming she didn’t know what to do… If only she’d get the three first jump elements out of the way, then she could breathe a bit. The step sequences and spins had always been more of her thing.

Double Axel. Done! And she felt she would have had enough speed to keep on rotating but decided to not risk it this time. There would be a time and place for a surprise factor later on…

Then came the final jumps of the first half of her performance, a triple Salchow – triple toe loop combination. Unfortunately, Winry had gotten a bit too confident after the double Axel, and she slipped a bit between the jumps, having to cut the rotation short and making it only double toe loop. Not a big loss, considering she still hadn’t fallen or otherwise failed, but it still bummed her for a moment.

She didn’t have time to get stuck on that one slight slip, though, because she already needed to start focusing on the first spin. It was successful, and finally she managed to make herself smile a bit as she moved onto the step sequence. Even though step sequences had always been her favorite part of her programs, she found this particular one challenging because she was supposed to express the happiness of having met someone special. Now she understood that emotion better, though, and the audience oohed and aahed with excitement as they watched her move swiftly, the smile coming from her heart instead of being forced.

…

“How the hell did she do that?” Ed asked as Al and he were watching Winry performing a triple flip – double toe loop – double loop combination. To Ed even one jump was amazing, to perform 3 of them in a row was beyond his understanding.

“It’s called routine, brother, she has practiced that for years,” Al stated. It was really amusing to watch how into Ed could get into this sport he knew nothing about, all because of that young woman who was currently gliding on the ice. If he was honest, Ed was the last person he would have expected to see in such a situation, but it was a nice change, and he could see it was doing good to his brother.

Ed yelled proudly when he saw Winry perform another jump, triple Lutz this time, then turned to look at Al briefly:

“Do you think she has a chance of winning this?”

“It is going well, I don’t see why not. But the competition is tough.”

“Right.”

“Hold on a sec.” Al held his breath for a moment when Winry was in the air again. “That isn’t… yup, it is! Triple Axel!”

Ed didn’t really know what a triple Axel was, or how it differed from the other jumps (he made a mental note to learn more about it later), but it must have been something awesome because the entire audience around him was roaring with excitement.

“W-what?” he asked.

“Brother, you really should do some studying on figure skating… Only a few female skaters have managed to land it successfully in a competition. She did it in the team event here, but I believe that’s when she got hurt… But based on her reactions there were no issues this time! Now she REALLY has a chance of winning!”

Ed focused his attention on Winry’s facial expressions and noticed that she really did seem like a huge weight had fallen from her shoulders as she was performing a choreographic sequence. In fact, her expression looked a lot like the one he had only seen on her face when they had been alone in her room. But why would she…

“Uh, Al? What do you think this performance is about?” he asked suddenly.

“Isn’t it obvious? It’s a love story, she meets someone and shows her love for that person.”

“Really?”

“Definitely.”

Ed felt a blush spreading on his face as he took Al’s words in. Suddenly focusing on the performance felt a bit harder. He did see her jump one last time (Al did say the jump’s name but he missed it) and do the spin combination that finished the routine, but his mind was elsewhere. He would have to tell her about his decision soon.

…

“Congratulations, dear, that was a fantastic performance! I am so proud of you! And that triple Axel? Only you would have had guts to do that again after what happened the last time! But the risk was worth it!”

“Thank you, Garfiel!” Winry said as she hugged her coach. “I felt… I needed to prove myself I could do it even though I would have probably done just fine even with a double Axel… “

“To me it looked like you also did a lot better job portraying the emotions of your character… Is there any specific reason for that?”

“Uhh… nothing you need to know right now… I’ll tell you some other time,” Winry answered awkwardly.

Winry barely had time to take a breath after pulling away from Garfiel when two new sets of arms surrounded her.

“If that isn’t a gold winning performance, I don’t know what is!” Paninya squeeled and Rosé agreed with her.

“Oh, come on, guys, you are not here to celebrate me, you are my rivals!” Winry scolded them. “Now, if you don’t go back to your preparations, I’m gonna kick your asses. And Garfiel, we need to go, they are gonna announce the points any minute now.”

They sat down on their seats, and sure enough, only a few moments later the announcer yelled:

“And Winry Rockbell’s points are… 150,15! Together with the short program, that makes 232,10 points! What an astounding performance! That is her personal best!”

“Wow…” was all Winry could say.

“Winry, my dear… I think a new champion has risen.” Garfiel said next to her.

…

Paninya and Rosé’s turn was soon after, and both succeeded well with their performances. Paninya got her personal best score and Rosé got her seasonal best as well. The two of them were already ready to celebrate Winry’s victory when it was Mei Chang’s turn, and they held their breaths (probably more nervous than Winry herself) as she performed. The audience reacted loudly to her elements and it was clear everything was going according to Mei’s plan.

A few minutes later, her points were announced: 148,5. Together with the short program, that wasn’t enough to top Winry. She couldn’t help but smile a bit, remembering what she had seen the day before. This also Winry really had a chance of winning the entire competition.

The last skater of the night, and Winry’s biggest challenger, was Lan Fan from Xing. She had gotten just slightly better points than Winry in the short program, but she was known to shine in her free programs, so despite Winry’s amazing points, nothing had been decided yet.

As expected, she performed her elements flawlessly, but her jumps were slightly easier than Winry’s, and at least in Garfiel’s opinion she seemed to lack the charm Winry had had on the ice. Winry watched the performance in the dressing room with the other girls, but when she met with Garfiel afterwards, she found him biting his fingernails nervously.

Winry wasn’t sure what she was feeling at that moment. The biggest part of her was relieved it was over; no matter what would happen, she already knew she had done her best and would go home with a medal. However, there was a reason why she was a professional athlete; she did have the competitive side in her, and that side tried to argue with the rational side that said she could be proud of herself, either way. A silver would be a disappointment after such a performance.

Winry’s heart was beating fast when Garfiel took her hand as the announcer started to speak.

“Lan Fan’s points are: 149,10! That means she wins the silver medal, winning her country woman Mei Chang by a point. Our Olympic gold medal winner is… Winry Rockbell from Amestris!!!”

…

“Ed, you gotta go!” Al tried to get him to leave the arena before the rest of the audience would.

“What, I want to congratulate her! Dammit, Al! This is the biggest moment of her career so far and you are telling me to leave?!”

“I mean, she’s gonna have a party, and you can’t go there looking like that! Brother, please!”

“Fine. But if you see her, you’ll tell her that I’ll see her soon, right?”

“Of course! Just go now.”

…

 She really was the Olympic champion. When the information sunk in, it seemed like her brain just turned off and she could remember only bits and pieces of what happened afterwards.

There were a lot of hugs. Garfiel, waiting for the points next to her, was obviously the first one to hug her. Rosé, Paninya and Gracia were all waiting for her by the rinkside, giving her quick, tight hugs before she had to go back to the ice to accept her reward. When she joined the other medalists on the ice, they hugged her too, and especially Mei seemed really enthusiastic and happy for her, making Winry a bit confused. Was there something going on she didn’t know about? In that moment, she only wished she could find the person she wanted to hug the most, but scanning the audience with her eyes, she couldn’t find him. One would have thought it would be easy to spot the two golden haired men in the audience, and she knew for fact they had promised to be there, but for some reason she couldn’t find them.

She accepted the flowers and the plush she was given (the actual medal would be given later that day in a special ceremony outside the arena) and after skating a few rounds and thanking the audience, she tried to get into the dressing room to change into something more comfortable. That turned out to be difficult though, with all the passing people wanting to congratulate her and get her first comments, and it took her at least 15 minutes to finally get into her destination.

“You haven’t possibly seen Ed and his brother anywhere?” Winry asked her figure skating team that was already starting the party in the dressing room, popping a bottle of champagne that someone had hidden into the locker.

“No, not a glimpse,” Paninya and Rose answered in unison. Winry started getting anxious. This was such a huge moment for her, and she really wanted all her favorite people to be around.

It took a while before she could leave anywhere because glasses needed to be emptied, speeches given and songs sung. Paninya even threatened to throw Winry into the cold shower like was the habit in the hockey world, but fortunately for Winry, she managed to talk her out of it. Eventually, she managed to sneak out with the excuse that she needed to go back into her hotel room because she had left her party dress there.

Before she would do that, though, she would find out where the hell Edward was. He hadn’t even answered her calls while the other girls had taken Garfiel into the cold shower instead of her. Briefly, she wondered if that meeting with Mei had something to do with this, but quickly pushed that thought aside. Now was not the time for that.

When she got into the hotel hallway that Amestris’ athletes shared, she debated for a long while if she should go and change like she was supposed to, or if she should just march into Ed’s room and let him hear it if he happened to be there. She chose the latter.

“Edward Elric! If you are there, get your ass out right now!” she nearly yelled as she banged his door. She wasn’t actually expecting anyone to be there, so when she heard the sound of the crutches from inside the room, her eyes widened in embarrassment.

“Hi?” Ed opened the door, revealing the black suit and a red tie he was wearing. Winry looked at his outfit with confusion.

“Are you going somewhere?”

She guessed it was too much to ask him to spend this important night with her.

“Aren’t you?” Ed took in the tiny red figure skating dress she was still wearing. Why did she have to look so good in it, he growled in his mind. “I’m not sure that dress is the most appropriate one for a formal party.”

“What are you talking about?” Winry felt she understood less and less about what was going on.

“That you and I are gonna go to your party, what else would I be talking about?”

“I thought… I thought…” Winry couldn’t form a full sentence. He had been thinking about her after all.

“What?” Ed asked, equally confused.

“That you had forgotten. Or didn’t want to go. Or had other plans…”

“And why would you think that?” Ed frowned. He didn’t understand why Winry was acting so weirdly all of a sudden.

“Because I didn’t see you at the arena! And you didn’t answer to my call! And I saw you hanging out with Mei Chang the other day!” she blurted without thinking.

“Again: what? Winry, there’s a good explanation to all of those things. I left the arena early because when it became clear you would win, Al forced me to come back here to clean up because apparently I couldn’t look like an emo at your party. I wouldn’t have wanted to leave. He also promised to let you know I would be waiting here. Which clearly he didn’t. And I didn’t hear your phone call because I was in the shower. And I definitely wasn’t with Mei because I wanted to, but because Al told me to wait with her while he was getting her some flowers or chocolate or who knows what unnecessary… They were gonna go out for a dinner, you see.”

“So… you’re saying all of that was just an unfortunate misunderstanding?”

“Yes, you silly.”

“Great. Of course I would ruin my own party by overthinking things.” Winry sat down on Ed’s bed and covered her face with her hand with embarrassment.

“Hey, don’t be mad at yourself. You couldn’t have known.” Ed sat down next to Winry, setting his crutches down, and took her chin between his thumb and index finger and lifted it, so she was staring right in his eyes.

“But I…” She couldn’t finish her sentence because she noticed the expression on Ed’s face, and it nearly made her knees go weak. She had seen that fierce, determined look a couple of times before, all of them right before they had almost…

Only this time there wasn’t “almost”. Ed hesitated only one moment, deciding this was a now or never situation, and with his free hand he pulled her closer. He moved the hand that had been holding her chin behind her neck, while he was wondering how she would react to what he was about to do. Winry didn’t have time to close her eyes before he pressed his lips against hers, a bit sloppily but firmly, soon finding the right angle to get best access to her lips. Winry couldn’t help but smile into the kiss when her brain finally registered what was happening. He really was kissing her.

All too fast, he pulled away, his heart pounding faster than in a hockey game and his cheeks adorably red. Winry thought she couldn’t have looked much calmer herself. She had imagined this situation so many times in her head, but now that it finally happened, she couldn’t nearly believe it. From that little preview she knew she wanted that to happen again. And last a lot longer.

Finally, her brain recovered enough to be able to form full sentences:

“Hold on. Ed, would you care to explain what this means? Didn’t you say the other day you had promised…”

“Shhh, just listen. I can’t… I can’t promise it’s always gonna be an easy road, but… I want to try.” Winry looked at him expectantly, so he continued: “You have made me see I don’t have to do this alone, and I really owe you a lot for that. You have made me feel happy even though normally I wouldn’t even be able to get out of my bed in this situation.” Winry knew he was referring to his broken leg and the tournament that had ended too early for him. “So that’s really amazing. You just seem to have that weird power. You know, you deserve to be happy, and I… I want to be someone who makes you happy. Equivalent exchange, right?”

“Ed!” she squealed and hugged him so forcefully he almost fell from the bed.

“So, what do you say? Do you want to give me a shot?” he asked nervously.

“Yes, you idiot!”

This time it was her turn to initiate the kiss. It was much longer than the first one, and Ed even allowed his hand to wander on the backside of Winry’s thin dress, feeling the smooth material and causing chills in Winry’s core.

“By the way… Congratulations,” he whispered, leaning his forehead against hers.

“For what?” Winry had nearly forgotten what had happened only a little while ago.

“For winning the Olympic gold, dummy. My girlfriend is world’s best figure skater!” Ed exclaimed proudly.

“Oh… thank you.” Winry blushed and pecked his lips once more.

“So… Will you get your dress changed?” Ed asked with much more confidence when they pulled apart.

“Yes… But if you think I’ll let you watch just because you’re my boyfriend now… well, I dare you to try.”

“You’re feisty. I like that.” Ed snorted and Winry threw a pillow at him.

Ed stayed nicely in his room while Winry went to change, but the whole time both of them had huge smiles on their faces. Somehow, Winry had a feeling she had just won something far more valuable than an Olympic gold.

[him-e]

Why do you ship Reylo? Or, more accurately, what first interested you about Reylo and what do you find compelling about the ship that keeps you engaged in the fandom or rooting for it in canon?

What first interested me about it:

it’s the only thing that actually took me off guard me in a movie (TFA) that was otherwise really cute and engaging but also really, really safe (and predictable). Before watching TFA, I thought I had spoiled myself on every major development: Starkiller Base, Han’s death, Luke’s last minute apparition, Rey and Finn’s playful chemistry… I went to the theatre expecting two hours of harmless entertainment (which I got), the good guys being good and the bad guys being bad, a nostalgia trip at best and an uninspired but ultimately innocuous rehash of the original trilogy at worst… but what I actually did was stumble on a gorgeous and completely unexpected hero/villain ship, the kind that had sadly been lacking in my fandom life for years, at least since the good old days of True Blood season 2. No early review or spoiler had prepared me for that. (no early review or spoiler had prepared me for Rey and Kylo interacting at all, which in hindsight is h i l a r i o u s, and few mentioned how fantastic the character of Kylo Ren was. So not just Reylo, but everything surrounding Kylo was a pleasant surprise to me.) Bottom line: I went to see the movie with several expectations, but Reylo wasn’t certainly one of those. It wasn’t even something I knew I needed in my Star Wars. It just happened.

like, when i say it’s the only exception in a movie that plays it safe, I mean it. Just look at the interrogation scene, and all the pearl clutching it caused. Name another thing in TFA that sparked so much discourse.

it’s also the only dynamic that wasn’t ripped, one way or another, off similar relationships in the OT or PT.

curiously enough, Rey’s parentage wank is also one of the main reasons that got me looking more and more into Reylo. Like most people, I walked out of the theatre fully convinced Rey was a Skywalker and precisely Luke’s daughter. Predictable, but also so typically Star-Warsy, and back then I had no reason to believe they’d go for subverting the audience’s expectations. But Rey’s being a Skywalker meant that she’d necessarily develop at some point some sort of *personal* dynamic with local evil cousin (/brother?) Kylo Ren, a prospect I immediately found more interesting and narratively compelling than whatever relationship she might establish with her presumed deadbeat father, Luke. Were Rey and Kylo going to have a Micheal/Lucifer sort of dynamic, were they going to battle over their “divine” legacy? were they going to feel sympathy for each other? would they see each other as family at all? It didn’t take me long to realize I was actually more into this than into any other aspect (or dynamic) of the sequel trilogy, and it was all downhill from there.

all the post TFA fan theories concerning Rey and Kylo meeting in the middle and what that could entail for the Force plot (a new balance? Grey Jedi?)

yin/yang—opposites attract dynamic—enemies to friends (to lovers) = I CANNOT RESIST

they’ve seen each other’s deepest FEARS

THE STARKILLER DUEL!!!

What keeps me interested in it and makes me root for it in canon:

they’re complicated. Their relationship is complicated. Nothing about them is a simple “good girl redeems bad guy” scenario. Neither of them is willing to accept compromises to pull the other to their side, much less win their heart. They’ll move mountains and cross galaxies (and defy their own masters) to save the other’s life, but they’re not going to give up on their ideals, and if that’s the price to pay they’re fully willing to fight each other to death. They both understand each other deeply, on some instinctual, spiritual level, and don’t understand each other at all. The kinship and intimacy they feel when they’re in each other’s brain and soul dissipates when they try to communicate in person, in the same room, and it’s like they’re talking two different languages. They both want the best for each other, but they disagree on what “best” is supposed to mean. This is all very fascinating to me.

they’re real equals. In the Force, and in terms of narrative weight. See: the lightsaber tug-of-war. (and how interesting it is that in TFA Rey was able to both have exclusive control on the legacy saber and defeat Kylo, while in TLJ they both controlled it to the point that neither of them was eventually able to claim it for themselves?)

I, obviously, root for Kylo’s redemption. I believe Rey will have a huge part to play in it.

lonely eldritch Force children with too much power and too much responsibility on their shoulders, finding solace in each other and crying at the barest glimpse of a bright future together

none of the other options for Rey (or Kylo) interests me. Not even celibate!Rey—as I abundantly discussed before, it’s not the idea of Rey having a platonic/celibate happy ending with no romantic attachments per se that I reject (I’d be fine with it if the context was different), but the fact that, for it to happen NOW, Rey’s feelings for Ben should be inexplicably reduced to some weak sauce *I only care for your well-being as a friend and I’m happy to see you go on your merry way and possibly never see you again* pseudo-platonic thing. The way I see it Rey is super fiercely covetous of having Ben at her side, for her own selfish reasons and not just to win the war or because she has a good samaritan complex. Call it love, call it passion, call it passionate friendship, call it force bond shenanigans but… don’t tell me she’d be perfectly happy without him. 

speaking of which, THE FORCE BOND. Sensing the other’s presence at your side—being able to talk and even touch each other across entire galaxies, feeling what the other feels, but only for a handful of minutes each time, before the vision fades like mist between your fingers and you’re alone again. Dude. It’s the most beautiful trope EVER.

I need to stress it again: the Force is connecting them.

what we saw during the praetorian guard fight—Kylo and Rey fighting together in perfect synchronicity, like the force-bonded warriors they are—kept me awake for many many nights. I want more of that. 

I do believe that a Rey/Kylo alliance / friendship / partnership / romance is not just the heart of this trilogy but also the only satisfying endgame for it, at least for the Force side of the plot. A new concept of balance that’s the result of Light and Dark finding harmony and healing the wounds of the past is imo the only way to give the Force a happy ending that doesn’t feel like a rehash of the OT one (the Light wins = the Darkness is destroyed = the Jedi were right and the Sith were wrong). Also, consider: the PT ended with the triumph of the Dark Side, and the OT with the triumph of the Light. It’s not that much of a stretch to imagine that the ST will end with a combination of the two, or perhaps with a subversion of the whole dark/light dichotomy. 

they haven’t kissed and I live for the day they will

(I also live for the day they fight again and that’s the beauty of this ship: it’s a win-win situation no matter how it goes, and them being sworn enemies is almost as good as them being lovers. almost)

[jjkfire]

Try Me pt. 2

Namjoon x Reader // College!AU, Rugby!AU // 6k words

Summary: You wanted nothing more than to leave behind your old self when you moved on to college to play rugby but when you see your high school classmate, resident fuckboy and captain, Kim Namjoon, at the rugby department orientation, you feel like everything might fall apart.

Genre: Fluff

A/N: asadsfhgd finally working my way through my updates and this is a short-ish chapter but!!! i hope y’all like it (: sorry it took me so long hahaha. also, happy thanksgiving!!!

Part 1 //  Part 3

Previously…

“You better visit the ATM before you pick me up,” You smirk. “I’m a big eater.”

“Don’t you worry your pretty little head,” Namjoon smiles. “I’m pretty sure my wallet can handle it.”

After all, he has been saving up for three years.

Namjoon’s waiting at the entrance of your dorm, kicking up dust and shuffling his feet amongst the dead leaves. His palms are sweaty despite the fact that it’s the coldest day of the fall season so far. He tries to convince himself that it’s just you, that he had no reason to be nervous but the fact that it’s you he’s waiting for is the reason why he can’t seem to keep still. Namjoon laughs at his precarious situation, about how it had taken him 3 years to finally have the balls to ask you out, albeit not in the most romantic way and you also probably think it’s just a normal dinner between 2 friends but really, he’ll take anything he can get.

Friends. Ah, how did that happen? That’s a question he often asks himself considering how the two of you had barely spoken to each other at all throughout high school. To be fair, Namjoon tried, he really did but you always seemed to be in a world of your own, uninterested in socializing with anyone in school. 

He remembers the first day you had arrived at the school, timid you, standing in front of class, introducing yourself as you nervously fidget with the straps of your backpack. You had spoken so softly that he struggled to hear much of what you said, only able to hear you say your name. 

You were all anyone would talk about for weeks, many gossiping about how you had just moved here from a bigger suburb, how your parents had opened up a small grocery store in the corner of town but all the excitement soon died down when they realized that you seemed like you wanted nothing to do with anyone, forever brooding on your own in some far away corner.

Namjoon remembers the exact moment you piqued his interest. He remembers being in absolute awe of you when he was hanging around the field during the rugby tryouts, the men’s team told to take a rest as they watched the women’s team take the field. He didn’t expect much from you, though there had been murmurings of your supposed talent but he’s never seen you participate in anything remotely athletic during gym class and the very fact that you’re here, by your own volition comes as a surprise to him. Everyone’s expecting you to be mediocre at best because it’s well known that the women’s rugby team is the easiest team to get on to in this school. It being underfunded and all meant that it wasn’t filled with talent but rather filled with kids who just wanted a little something to add to their CV, that says, hey look! I study, but I’m athletic too!

You get in line like the rest of the girls, listening intently as the coach explains the drills that were to be performed for the tryouts and though you’re literally beaming on the inside, excited to finally be on the grass again, you maintain a blank expression, nodding at the coach’s words. Nobody pays you any attention as you step up to the line, ready for the 10m sprint but the moment you take off, everyone’s whipping their heads to look and as the drills go on, people start to take notice of you because you manage to crush all the drills, your baseline score for each drill better than what they were hoping for. The coach doesn’t tell anyone but he has your name written down on the team slip before the tryouts are even over. That day is the day Namjoon acknowledges the fact that he thinks he’s maybe, just maybe, beginning to crush on you.

He spends his time in high school admiring you from afar, always trying to work up the courage to approach you whenever you took to the field to practice alone, kicking ball after ball between the two poles but he’s so afraid he’ll mess up, that he’ll say something stupid so he keeps his distance, forever wondering, what if. If anyone else in school could hear Namjoon’s inner monologue, they’d be laughing their ass off because he’s Kim Namjoon, the most popular boy in school so why would he even concern himself with you? With what you’d think of him? They don’t understand, is what he would say to himself because you seemed to have no care in the world for him, for anyone really.

Namjoon remembers exactly the number of times you had spoken to him in high school and it’s a grand total of 3 and with each time, he falls for you even harder than before. The first time you speak to him, it’s a group discussion in class and this is the first time he’s heard you speak with confidence, saying sentences at a time instead of your usual two or three words. You’re simply eloquent, everyone on the table listening closely to what you had to say and he’s not sure if it’s because they’re shocked to hear you speak or just like him, they’re impressed with the way you had just managed to make the cryptic poem they had to read, that much understandable. Somehow, you end up being some sort of a discussion facilitator, making sure everyone in the group got to speak, your voice soft and encouraging.

“Namjoon, what about you?” You question, and his head snaps towards yours, shaking him out of his daze. “I really liked how you interpreted the scene where she looks at the stars as her expressing her longing to fit in but what about the line after that?” You ask, referring to the poem. He’s sure you’re only asking because you’ve noticed how silent he’s been but he jumps at the chance to answer you anyway.

He responds confidently, hoping that whatever he says doesn’t sound like made up garbage to you because god does he want to impress you. You’re doing that thing where you smile and nod as you listen to him and everyone’s practically doing the same but when you do it, his heart flutters because it’s the first time you’ve paid attention to him like that. He wants this discussion to last forever, for you to continually question him about his opinion, the back and forth between the two of you makes him content because despite the jock stereotype that’s tied to him, Namjoon loves literature and he loves that you’re the first person in this class who actually cares about the pieces that you’re all assigned to read. 

“It’s fascinating,” You murmur to him, when he asks you about the poem, everyone in the group already bored with the discussion. “The author strings the words together so well and you can feel the emotion, the strength behind it all. I can’t really explain it but it’s just powerful, moving… you know?” Yeah, he knows, because he feels the exact same way and just like you, he can’t find the right words to describe it all. Namjoon stares at you dreamily for the rest of the class and he really hopes you or his peers don’t take notice. That day was the day you had first spoken to him and it’s the day where Namjoon acknowledges that yeah, he definitely has a crush on you and he wants to get to know you better but you never attempt to carry on the conversation when he says hello so, he simply buries his growing feelings for you deep down where no one but him can see.

“I’m sorry I’m late,” You murmur, removing your phone from your purse. “Did you wait long?”

“No, no, I just got here…” He smiles nervously, taking in the sight of you in a casual red dress.

“Shall we call a cab?” You ask, already swiping at your phone to bring up the app.

“No, I umm… borrowed one of the seniors’ car actually.”

Namjoon leads you to the car parked further down the street, opening the door for you and you let out a small gasp of surprise as if you couldn’t believe that he was being this nice to you. Quickly, you slide into the passenger seat, Namjoon making his way to the driver’s seat himself after shutting your door.

“So, did you visit the ATM like I asked? Because I wasn’t joking… I skipped lunch just so I could pig out tonight.”

Namjoon laughs, boisterously so because only you would do something so ridiculous.

“I already told you babygirl, my wallet can handle whatever the final bill is going to come up to,” He grins smugly and you only smile, your mind wandering to just what items on the menu you’d be ordering.

The car ride is filled with small chit-chat, mostly you groaning about the anatomy class to be honest but Namjoon doesn’t mind, he could listen to you talk all day. Also, considering the fact that he’s beyond nervous at the very moment, he’s glad you’re doing all the talking because lord knows he’d be stuttering half the time if he speaks. He nods occasionally, agreeing to whatever it is that you’re saying because his mind is too busy ticking things off his checklist because he needs tonight to go exactly to plan. Tonight needs to be 101% perfect because this is his first chance at getting to impress you and so far, despite all of his efforts, it’s not going great. Try as he might to calm his beating heart, it’s of no use. His palms are sweatier than before and he’s obviously been too quiet, the occasional side glances you flash him enough to tell him that you’ve noticed. He glances to the back seat, trying to look for the gift he had brought along and damn it… of course he forgot it. Of course he forgot the main point of tonight because that’s what you do to him, reduce him to a nervous forgetful wreck and it takes everything in him to not scream at himself in frustration. It’s okay, he murmurs to himself. There’s still much of the night left and he could definitely make up for his slight blunder.

The restaurant looks a lot fancier in person with the elegant décor, elaborate tableware and the sophisticated looking guests. As you peer around the restaurant while Namjoon talks to the staff at the counter, you suddenly feel like you’re extremely underdressed. You fidget in your spot and Namjoon looks at you quizzically before he grabs you by your wrist, softly tugging you behind him as he followed the waitress to the reserved table. 

Once you’re seated, the waitress brings along leather bound menus for the both of you and before you open it, you already know that you’ve made a mistake… that this restaurant was way out of yours and Namjoon’s price range. 

“Joon, let’s leave,” You mumble, shutting the menu.

“W-why?”

“This is… this is crazy. This is way too expensive and neither of us can afford this on a college budget. Let’s just go to Mcdonald’s or something.”

Namjoon lets out a snort, enjoying the worry etched on your features.

“You were the one who wanted to come here.”

“I know and that’s because I saw an article online about this place but I didn’t know it was going to be this fancy,” You mumble. “I’m not even dressed well enough for a place like this.”

“You’re dressed just fine. You look… beautiful,” He blushes, watching as you quirk your eyebrow at the compliment. “We’re staying. A deal is a deal and I plan to follow through.”

“This isn’t a time for you to let your big ass ego get in the way,” You sigh. “I don’t want to have to end up washing dishes tonight because we can’t foot the bill.”

“Y/N,” He smiles, his signature dimples making an appearance. “I promise you we won’t be washing dishes tonight so just relax and order whatever it is that you want. Did you forget that you had planned on making me broke by the end of the night?”

You let out an annoyed huff, picking up the menu when you realize that he wasn’t going to back down from this one and for what reason, you simply don’t understand. 

“What are you getting?” Namjoon asks after some time.

“Edamame,” You answer and he can’t help but laugh because how were snap peas going to be enough for dinner?

“And?”

“That’s it,” You mumble. “I’m not that hungry.”

“I clearly remember you saying that you had skipped lunch earlier today.”

“Yeah, I did but I don’t know… I’m just not hungry.”

“Sure,” He laughs, indulging you in your lies. “At least pick a main. I’ll help you finish it if you can’t. I’m paying anyway,” He shrugs.

“But I’m not hungr—“

“Please?”

“Fine,” You sigh. “I’ll get the uhh… California roll.”

Of course, of course you had picked the cheapest of all the items on that page.

“But you hate that,” Namjoon chortles.

“N-no, how do you— No I don’t,” You retort, shaking your head vehemently.

“Yes, you do. I clearly remember you mumbling under your breath about how much you dislike that roll when we went out for dinner with the others at that Japanese restaurant near campus.”

You have on the most adorable pout, conceding that Namjoon had caught you in a lie and all he really wants to do right now is grab you by the face and kiss you but of course that isn’t something he could do at this very moment. He wonders how you do it, how you’re so adorable all the damn time as if you didn’t know how much everything you did made his heart palpitate wildly. He finds it funny how you like to talk big, always going all out with your threats but when it really came down to it, you never follow through. This had been something he had expected out of you tonight and luckily, he had prepared way in advance, studying the menu ever since you had agreed to go to dinner with him.

“Well, maybe if I try it this time, I’ll like it?” You offer and Namjoon, shakes his head at you, the sweetest smile on his lips.

“How about I do the ordering?”

“No, please… You’re going to go overboard. I know you will.”

“This is an apology dinner, you know? I’m supposed to go overboard.”

“No you’re not. Look, I forgive you. Happy now?” You sigh. “Please, let’s get out of here before you make a decision you regret.”

“Babygirl,” He smiles lopsidedly. “We’ve already drove out this far. We’re already here so, let me spoil you tonight alright?”

“Fine, spoil me… but just not here, please,” You beg. “Spoil me with nuggets at Mcdonald’s instead. Yeah?”

Namjoon refuses to listen to you already signaling to the waitress that he’s ready to order. So fucking stubborn, you grumble to yourself. You knew agreeing to go to dinner with him was a bad choice.

“So, excited for regionals?” He asks, sipping on the green tea.

“Heck yeah,” You smile. “You?”

“Ah you know, been to so many now that they all start to feel the same,” He smirks, referring to all the times he had reached the regionals in high school while your team failed to even make one. “But it’s your first isn’t it? The newbies are always excited. It’s cute.”

“Whatever,” You grumble. “Keep being cocky and maybe you won’t even make the second round.”

“Are you doubting me?” He questions. “Last I remember it wasn’t me getting absolutely destroyed by coach at practice this week. It was you.”

“I just had a bad day, alright? I stayed up all night working on that stupid anatomy assignment.”

“You should’ve just asked me for help but ah of course, you were giving me the silent treatment.”

“Which you fully deserve.”

“Debatable,” He shrugs. “Anyway, still need help on that assignment?”

“No… Yes… No…” You murmur, unsure if you really want to ask Namjoon for a favour because he sure had a knack for requesting the weirdest things.

“Is that a yes or a no, babygirl?” He asks. “Just so you know, the assignment is worth a good 10% of our grade.”

“Okay, fine, yes,” You frown, knowing that you needed however many points you can salvage at this point just so you don’t end up with a bad overall grade for the class.

“Great,” He smiles and you’re waiting for him to ask for something in return for his help, like a handjob or something just as ridiculous but he stays silent, simply choosing to take a sip out of his cup.

“That’s it?” You ask and he looks at you, his eyebrows scrunched up in confusion. “Nothing, never mind,” You quickly huff, waving your arms in the air.

“I mean if you’re willing to offer something in return…”

“No, I’m not.”

“Really? Not even say… a kiss, a blowjob, a handjob, whatever really… I’m not too picky.”

Right, there it is. There’s the Namjoon you know.

“Hmm, let me think about it and huh, guess what? The answer is a big, resounding, fuck no.”

“Babyg—“

“How many times do I have to tell you to stop calling me that.”

“You can tell me as many times as you like,” He smiles. “Doesn’t mean I’ll listen.”

“You’re insufferable.”

“But you love me all the same.”

“You pronounced hate wrong,” You grumble.

“You know they say the line between hate and love is a thin one.”

“Says who?”

“Well, I’m glad you asked,” He begins and oh god, here it comes, you groan. You bring up your fingers to plug your ears, refusing to hear him go on another one of his long spiels. “There was a study done by the professors at The University College of L—“

“I’m so sorry for the wait,” The waitress interrupts. “It’s a rather busy night but here are your appetizers!”

“Oh thank god,” You smile. “You just saved this dinner because if I had to listen to him speak for one more second, I think I would’ve stabbed myself with this fork.”

“G-glad to be of service to you miss…” She bows awkwardly, unsure of what to say or make of the very unlikely bickering couple in front of her because truly, all the two of you have been doing so far is argue with each other.

“Nice job,” Namjoon snorts, noticing the light blush tinting your cheeks.

“Shut up and eat,” Is all you manage to grunt out before helping yourself to the plate in front of you.

The dinner comes along rather smoothly and you’re surprised by Namjoon’s good taste in food because you’ve loved every single dish so far. You started out eating the dishes shyly, a bite or two here and there and Namjoon knows it’s because you’re thinking about the price but he basically stuffs everything onto your plate, basically threatening you to eat it and you finally relent, gobbling up everything in front of you. Everything’s delicious, of course it is and you don’t shy away from thanking him for the dinner every 5 seconds just so he knows despite your attitude, you really do appreciate the fact that he’s taken the effort to drive all the way here and have dinner with you. To be honest, you had planned on texting Namjoon that day to apologize for overreacting over some harmless prank but hey, he offered free food and who were you to say no to that. Plus, it was funny to see him so upset, doing anything in his power to get you to forgive him.

The pair of you talk throughout dinner as if it had been months since you last spoken when in fact it’s been just a few days. You��ll never admit it to him but you’ve missed him a fair bit and there had been so many instances throughout the days you disregarded him where you’d pull out your phone to text him about something you had just saw until you remember you’re supposed to be ignoring him. Silent treatment is something you’re great at, a true talent of yours and when you were serious about it, you would honestly ignore the person for as long as you needed to. If Namjoon hadn’t come up to apologize, you’re pretty sure you could go on for weeks because you really hated giving in when you know you had been done wrong.

“Namjoon, at least let me pay for half of the bill,” You mumble, clicking on your seat belt.

“I already told you this one’s on me,” He sighs in return, turning the key in the ignition.

“But Joon… just—“

“If you’re that adamant on paying your half, then fine,” He huffs. “But know that I don’t take payments in cash or credit,” He smirks, lifting his eyebrow playfully to which you reply with a roll of your eyes. There he goes again with his fucking sexual innuendos.

“Yup, that’s what I thought,” He laughs. “Now I don’t want to hear about it anymore okay?”

You let out a groan of defeat, sinking back into your seat, enjoying the soft music that played through the speakers.

The dinner had gone better than Namjoon had expected. There were no spilt drinks or choking mishaps like he had seen in his nightmare but rather the dinner was mostly just you and him having conversations filled with laughter and pure banter, something he’s always enjoyed whenever he hung out with you. He wonders if you can tell that it’s getting harder for him to hide the fact that he’s very much infatuated with you. His roommate, Hoseok tells him he’s too bloody obvious sometimes, that he might as well be shouting out that he loved you just by the way he’d drop everything at a hat whenever you called. Namjoon is utterly and completely whipped for you but nobody seems to take notice, everyone chalking it up to one big joke which really is his fault anyway. He hides behind the little insults and casual jokes because he’s not really sure how to tell you he’s had a 3-year long crush on you. But with banter and the incorrigibly sexually fueled jokes he throws at you, he’s able to slip in everything he’s ever wanted to say to you… Everything is basically a big fat excuse just so he can constantly ask for kisses and tell you he likes you without actually having to deal with the consequence of having to see your face contort into something between pity and disgust in the event that you don’t feel the same way. 

“Namjoon!” You exclaim suddenly, grabbing onto his thigh to gain his attention and the car swerves slightly, his heart rate reaching a maximum at the sudden gesture. “Sorry!” You quickly retract your hand.

“There’s a McDonalds coming up,” You point ahead to the glowing M. “Do you think we can make a quick stop?” You ask patting his thigh lightly and Namjoon’s about to combust into flames with your hand sitting so high up on his leg.

“S-sure,” He mumbles signaling to the left to take the exit. “You’re still hungry?”

“I just want some ice-cream,” You laugh. “It’s been a while since I’ve had some.”

You skip into the fast food joint the moment he parks his car, returning with two ice cream cones as he waited for you outside. The two of you take a seat on the long bench outside the restaurant and he shivers after licking his ice cream a few times. In Namjoon’s opinion, it’s starting to get too cold to even consider having ice cream and for 15 minutes, the two of you debate on whether ice-cream had a season because Namjoon believes ice-cream should be reserved just for summer but you argue that that’s ridiculous for ice-cream was a year-long snack. It’s these nonsensical conversations the two of you always seem to have that have people shaking their heads. Who cares? Is what many would say regarding the things the both of you tend to argue about but the two of you would wave them away telling them they didn’t understand. 

As you sit next to him licking away at your ice cream, Namjoon can’t help but feel like he’s in a dream, like this is some absurd joke because this reminds him of the exact situation he had found himself in just about a year ago when you had talked to him for the second time, except you’re a lot more sober this time.

It must’ve been your first time at a party because you gulped down alcohol like nobody’s business and soon enough you were laying on the lawn chair in one of your classmate’s garden. Your class had planned on leaving you out of the invite list because well, you didn’t seem like you were interested in attending a party anyway but Namjoon insists that out of courtesy, they should send you an invite anyway. So, when the party was long over and it was time for everyone to clear the house, they left you under Namjoon’s care saying that you were his responsibility anyway since he had been the one who insisted on inviting you. Namjoon didn’t mind if he was being honest. If anything, he was more than happy to send you home. At least that way, he’d know you had gotten home safe and sound. He had spent the past hour of the party with you anyway, listening to you drunkenly spew your thoughts (fairly interesting ones at that… but that’s a story for a different time) so, what was another 10-minute detour to drop you home to him?

Except, it wasn’t a 10-minute detour, it was a 20-minute detour where you force him to drive you to a McDonald’s because you wanted some ice-cream. Namjoon, the soft-hearted creature that he is, couldn’t find it in him to refuse your request, even if he was dead tired at that point so he pulls into the parking lot of the fast food joint like you had asked of him.

You return with the ice-cream in hand in mere minutes, handing him his with a mega-watt smile on your face. You’re evidently still drunk, slurring your words and gesturing exaggeratedly as you argue politics with him. He wishes you paid this much attention to him when you’re sober because right now, you’re looking at him like he’s the only thing that matters… which is exactly how he looks at you.

“You have some ice-cream over there,” You point at his lips.

“Where?”

“There,” You point and he darts out his tongue in an attempt to lick it. “No, the other side,” You laugh.

Namjoon’s purposely missing the spot just so he can hear your laugh tumble out of your lips, a sound he has decided is his favourite after hearing it numerous times tonight.

“Help me then,” He whines, handing you a napkin and you giggle taking it from him.

One second you’re bringing up the napkin to his lips and the next Namjoon feels like he’s in some alternate universe because somehow your lips are on his. He drops his ice cream in favour of placing his hands on your face, holding you close to him like he believes this is the only chance he’s ever going to get to kiss you. It feels like time slows down and speeds up altogether and suddenly, you’re pulling away, licking at your lips before you flash him a smile.

“There, all gone,” You grin before returning your attention to your ice cream, biting away at the cone.

That’s it, he sighs. He’s a goner. He knows he’s done for because with just one kiss you had confirmed that yes, he indeed has more than just a crush on you but he also knows you’re not going to remember any of this tomorrow, not even one second so perhaps it was true… that he was in some sort of alternate universe because he’s the only one that’s going to remember what you’ve said to him tonight and how your lips felt like on his. But that’s alright, he exhales. After all, he’s been silently pining for you for two years already and if anything, he could go on for many more.

“Namjoon? Hello?” You question, waving your hand in front of his face.

“Huh?”

“I said you have ice-cream on your lips.”

No way. No way this is happening.

“What?”

“Ice-cream on your lips,” You repeat. “There.”

“Where?” He questions as he makes a show of licking his lips, intentionally missing the spot.

“You’re just doing that on purpose,” You laugh.

“Am not,” He giggles. “Help me then,” He smiles, handing a napkin to you.

Namjoon’s heart is beating so hard in his chest that he’s positive you can hear it. You grab the napkin out of his hand, giggling like you had a year ago and really, this time he feels like he really is in an alternate universe because no way this was happening, no w—

You laugh wildly, hand on your stomach before you’re getting up to run after having smeared your ice cream all over Namjoon’s face and ah, he realizes that yes this is in fact reality. Really, he should’ve expected this.

“You brat!” He screams, chasing after you, yielding the ice cream cone in his hand like a weapon.

“Please,” You beg, laughing as you attempt to side-step him but there’s nowhere to run and you scream in horror as he holds you in a headlock, smearing his ice cream all over your face, not even leaving an empty spot in sight.

“Namjoon! Let go!”

“Nope, not until you clean off the ice–cream on my face.”

“Okay, okay,” You grumble. “Hand me the napkin.”

“There’s no need for napkins, babygirl.”

“What do you mean? Namjoon… n-no! Don’t you da—“

A shriek tears through the quiet night as he licks a long strip up the side of your face and you attempt to wrestle your way out of his hold, elbowing him in the stomach.

“What? Not into tongue play?”

“You’re disgusting!” You exclaim, breaking out of his hold to grab the napkins lying on the table, trying with all your might to wipe away his saliva.

“Thought you’d be a cunnilingus type of girl,” He frowns playfully, evading the balled-up tissue papers that you throw at him.

“It’s a talent you know,” You sigh, walking over to the outdoor sink to wash the ice-cream off your face. “The way you can turn every and any situation into something sexual.”

“I told you, that’s only something you can bring out of me,” He winks, prompting you to roll your eyes at him.

There’s still a layer of stickiness on your skin no matter how many times you’ve washed off the ice-cream on your face but at this point, you don’t really care. You let Namjoon into your room, pointing towards a chair for him to sit as you pull up your assignment on your laptop. You had asked him if he was willing to stop by for awhile to help you finish up your assignment and to your surprise he agrees in a millisecond.

As you stayed seated in your chair, typing at your keyboard, Namjoon stands behind you, placing both hands on either side of you as he rested his chin on your shoulder. It’s relatively normal for him to be this close but for some reason, this time, you feel a slight fluttering in your chest.

He practically does the whole assignment for you, telling you verbatim just what you should write and you thank all your lucky stars that he is the genius that he is. Namjoon starts up the count again, the one where you owe him a kiss for every question and he tells you way in advance that he’s not letting you get away with it this time around, that he’ll collect every single one when he reaches 365. For the 100th time of the night, you roll your eyes at him, refusing to acknowledge the rubbish he spews.

“Oh shit, was I interrupting something?” Umji questions as she steps into the room, hanging her scarve on a hook on the wall. “I can uhh, leave…”

“Hmm? No? It’s just Namjoon,” You laugh and his heart drops at that. What did you mean by just Namjoon?

“Hmm, yeah, just Namjoon,” She parrots and you’re not sure why she just repeated what you said.

“Hey Umji,” He greets, turning around to smile at her.

“Hey,” She smiles in return. “How was the date?”

“It wasn’t a da—“

“The date went great,” He grins. “I think we’re finally ready to come off from that break we’re taking,” He laughs referring to the stupid Facebook post he had put up when you had instructed for him to clear up the situation.

“Umji, don’t listen to him.”

“That’s amazing!” She exclaims, playing along, indulging Namjoon because just like him and apparently everyone else, she enjoyed watching you flounder around whenever he flirts with you. “Y/N, you and Namjoon are going to make the best power couple in this school.”

“Heard that?” He smirks at you and you only bring up a hand to your face, exhaling deeply through your nose.

“That’s it,” You groan, shutting your laptop. “Leave,” You look towards Namjoon before pointing at the door.

“I help you with your assignment and this is how you treat me,” He sighs. “You really break my heart, you know that, babygirl?”

“Stop calling me that.”

“Never,” He smiles before pecking you on your cheek and making his way over to your bed to collect his coat. Wait, did he just kiss you on the cheek?

You wipe at your face in disgust, throwing him a mean glare as he stops to wink at you.

“I hate you, you know that?”

“That makes question no. 15,” He smiles. “I like the progress we’re making. Do you think you’d like to pay me with your kisses on a weekly basis instead?”

“Get out!” You shout throwing your bottle of hand cream at him while laughing and he ducks it easily, closing the door behind him but not before he shouts out, I love you babygirl! loud enough for everyone on the floor to hear.

“So, really,” Umji laughs as the door clicks shut. “How was the date?”

“It wasn’t a date,” You groan. 

“Please, the both of you are dressed to the nines, he borrowed a car, you ate at a fancy restaurant,” She murmurs. “How isn’t it a date?”

“It just isn’t,” You shrug. “It’s just two friends, going out for a fancy dinner.”

“Sure,�� She huffs, shaking her head at you. “Come on, show it to me.”

“Show what?”

“Whatever he got you.”

“He didn’t get me anything,” You answer. “I told you, it was just dinner. An apology dinner.”

“He really didn’t get you flowers or chocolates or anything?”

“Yup,” You nod, popping the p at the end.

“Huh, guess it wasn’t a date then.”

Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Namjoon is pacing outside your door because fuck, if he hadn’t forgotten the stupid box of chocolates in his room would you have realized then that the dinner was in fact, a date? That you’d understand that he actually does want you to think that you were on a date with him? Because you know, he’s in fact in love with you?

Goddamn it.

Why was he always so forgetful? He grumbles to himself the whole drive back to his senior’s place, mentally cursing himself for forgetting the only thing that would’ve made the night a stellar 10/10. It’s fine, it’s fine, he mumbles to himself. This dinner was more like a test drive and when he gets another chance, he’s going to go all out with chocolates, flowers, maybe a choir that would sing something along the lines of hey this is a date and I really like you not just as a friend but romantically actually so please for once in your life realize that the reason I call you babygirl is because I want you to actually be my girlfriend… Perhaps they’d be able to sing all of that in a more eloquent way… Maybe in a song that’s similar to Ed Sheeran’s Thinking Out Loud because you always come to mind when he hears that song.

“Yeah, it wasn’t a date.”

“That’s funny,” Umji mumbles. “I remember seeing him running haphazardly through campus earlier this afternoon with a fancy box of chocolates in hand.”

“Ah, you know Namjoon,” You sigh. “God knows how many girls he’s chasing at any given time.”

See, it’s like you expected because of course he has someone else and you laugh pushing away the feelings that have seemed to bubble to the surface tonight. Ridiculous, you laugh. For you to have thought that he might feel something for you… Completely and utterly ridiculous.

You love the attention Namjoon gives you, even if your mouth betrays you and you end up cussing at him half of the time whenever he says something remotely romantic but at the same time you hate it because you know it’s all a huge wondrous joke that everyone is in on and you’re the butt of it. He goes around town, claiming his love for you, calling you his babygirl but then on the flip side, he’s chasing another handful of girls while you’re sat alone and confused, your heart unsteady because of all the flirty compliments he throws your way. Truthfully, it hurts… it hurts you to know that the only boy on campus who pays attention to you, only does it as a joke and sometimes you want to tell him to stop, to tell him that despite the way you brush off any form of romantic attention he pays you, sometimes you wish it was genuine. Maybe if he stopped scaring off all the guys that were even remotely interested in you, you could find someone to love.

Ah, if only you knew that you already had someone to love.

Part 3

A/N: As always, thank you so much for reading and feedback is welcome!!! (:

[tedlyanderson]

A Completely Incomplete History of the Magical Girl Subgenre in Manga and Anime, pt. 1

I’ve been posting a bit recently about a pitch I’m working on called Sunshine Cheer Squad Go!, which can be summed up as “magical girl cheerleaders.” But what do I mean by “magical girl”? In this case, I’m referring to a very specific subgenre of manga and anime, first appearing in the 1960s and which has gone through some significant evolution since then. If you’re even passingly familiar with Japanese pop culture, you’re most likely familiar with the basics of the genre: teenage girls acquire magical superpowers, transform into sparkly princess warriors, and then battle and defeat the forces of evil. (The Japanese term for this subgenre, mahou shoujo, literally translates to “magical girl.”) I’ve always been fascinated by these narratives, and what’s struck me is that it’s a subgenre unique to Japan; that is to say, while it originated from a variety of tropes and concepts from across the world, and there’s been cross-pollination since the very beginning, the subgenre began and flourished in Japan. What’s more, because it’s such a relatively recent creation, we can trace its evolution very precisely. I want to take a look at the origins of the magical girl and describe the changes and permutations she’s gone through. Join me below the break, won’t you?

I’ll start with an attempt at a definition: a “magical girl” series is a series in which the main character(s) are girls, typically teenagers or pre-teens, who have access to magical or otherworldly abilities in what is otherwise a normal, real-world setting, which are used in conjunction with personal strengths and virtues to solve problems and/or achieve their goals, and which they must keep concealed from other people who aren’t in on the secret. Now, that definition is overly broad and probably includes a lot of things which most people wouldn’t call “magical girl”—for example, the only thing that separates this from the superhero genre is that the protagonist is exclusively, rather than occasionally female, and that there is rarely a focus on physical combat—but that’ll do for now.

As I see it, there are three major generations of magical girl series, three phases of the subgenre marked by significant changes in the character archetype and the structure of the basic narrative, but with an underlying set of themes and a continuity of ideas that links them together. Now, you can’t completely divide up any group of media into rigid categories, because there are always going to be outliers and works that defy categorization: creators ahead of their time, deliberate throwbacks, attempts at hybridization, cross-genre works, and so forth. But it is possible to define broad trends and expectations, and that’s what I’ll be writing about. When applicable, I’ll also discuss works which notably depart from these categories for one reason or another, but this is a general overview, not an encyclopedic history.

So let’s start with the first generation of magical girls! There are of course antecedents and early works that have elements of the magical girl—for example, Osamu Tezuka’s Princess Knight (Ribon no Kishi)—but the very first magical girl series as it is usually defined is Little Witch Sally (Mahoutsukai Sally), which began as a short-lived manga series in July of 1966; it was adapted into an anime by Toei Animation and began airing in December of that year. In the series, Sally is the Witch Princess of the Magic Kingdom, who travels to the human world in order to make friends her own age. She keeps her magic powers a secret and acts like a normal human girl in order to fit in.

The creator of the manga, Mitsuteru Yokoyama (who also created Tetsujin 28-go, better known in the United States as Gigantor), said that the major inspiration for the series was the American sitcom Bewitched, about Samantha the witch marrying a mortal man and trying to act like a normal housewife. Now, there’s a debate to be had about whether Bewitched was a patriarchal fantasy about dominating women and preventing them from using their natural talents, or a slyly feminist parable about the degree to which “submissive” wives can manipulate and control their husbands within the domestic sphere, but that’s a whole other essay. What matters here is what differentiates Sally from Bewitched, and to me the difference is clear: Sally, the character, has no responsibilities. She is beholden to nobody; the only rules she has to obey are those she sets herself. Sally is allowed to do anything she likes, because there is nothing at stake and her actions have no serious repercussions. In a word, Samantha from Bewitched is an adult, with adult responsibilities and obligations, but Sally is a child.

[Edited 9/11/17: friend and cartoonist @bakertoons pointed out that, technically, the series Akko’s Secret (Himitsu no Akko-chan) premiered before Sally, and should rightly be considered the first magical girl series! In the series, the young Akko is visited by the Queen of the Mirror Kingdom, who gives her a magic mirror and a spell to transform into whatever she wants. The manga of Akko by Fujio Akatsuka (probably more well-known today for his series Osomatsu-kun) was first published in the manga magazine Ribon in 1962, four years before Sally‘s debut. Sally was the first magical girl anime, debuting in 1966, but Akko was definitely the first magical girl manga. In fact, Akko was made into an anime series in 1969, partly as a replacement for Sally. I have seen references to the effect that Akatsuka was also inspired by Bewitched when creating Akko. I can’t verify this, but it certainly seems plausible.]

Professor Susan J. Napier, in her book Anime from Akira to Princess Mononoke (later updated and re-released as Anime from Akira to Howl’s Moving Castle), describes three extremely general categories of anime and manga, based on the overall emotions they evoke: festival, apocalyptic, and elegiac. This first generation of magical girl series falls squarely in the festival category: our characters have no major duties, little is at stake, their problems are relatively small and easily solvable, and all’s well that ends well. Virtually nothing carries over between episodes of Little Witch Sally; there are no recurring villains or long-running plotlines. Now, to be clear, this isn’t rare for anime of the period, or even most television—Bewitched didn’t have much in the way of long-running continuity, either—but it’s worth pointing out, in light of later developments in the genre.

Sally was followed by other, similar series: Mahoutsukai Chappy in 1972 and Majokko Megu-chan (pictured above) in 1974. I’ll admit to having difficulty finding episodes of these series, so I can’t comment on them as extensively, but from what I’ve read, they follow the same basic trajectory: young girl from a magical world is transported to our world, has low-stakes adventures, learns some lessons about friendship and so forth. Toei also produced other series that I think merit the “magical girl” label—for example, Marvelous Melmo (Fushigi na Melmo), in which a normal girl who loses her mother in a car accident receives a bottle of magic pills from her mother’s ghost, which lets her transform into various forms—but again, my direct knowledge of these series is limited.

The elements that define the first generation of magical girls as distinct from later works will become more clear as I discuss the genre in future posts, but for now, here’s what I see as the crucial points for the first generation. First, these series are largely episodic; while there may be recurring characters and even a series finale, there isn’t an overarching plot which shapes the series as a whole. Each episode stands on its own, and follows a general formula that remains largely the same for the entire series. Second, there is no larger threat, or at least no threat that tangibly menaces the main character. These girls weren’t leaving their magical kingdoms because they were threatened or some dark villain was invading—they needed to learn how the mortal world works, or they had to train their magic powers, or they were just bored! These series did not have active, menacing villains who worked against the heroes, or at least not ones who were in any way competent or legitimately threatening. And lastly, the protagonists do not have secret identities. While they need to keep their magical abilities secret, they don’t have alter egos or alternate personas that they need to hide from their friends. Again, this will be more significant by comparison to later generations of magical girls, but for now, put it like this: Sally was always a witch, whether she used her magic or not, but Usagi Tsukino is only sometimes Sailor Moon.

That’s it for part one of this extremely incomplete history! Join me for future installments, won’t you?

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

“this is fun on the surface but it’s actually pretty dark if you think about it” uh pardon me but how is that different from P5? If anything that sounds more like P5 to me since P4 didn't get that dark at all

Oh....oh no......buddy...pal, ok sorry I didn’t explain it better that is a little on me, I just assumed and yeah sorry. ;w; Before I got into more detail on P4 vs P5, first I want to address the “P4 didn’t get dark at all”....haha...no....you’re right, a video game which revolves around murder (where you literally see their dead bodies, and for one of them you see a glimpse of her being killed on screen), an on screen death of a 7 year old (and the gd aftermath and everyone’s reactions oh man), the fact your friends get torn apart and consider MURDERING SOMEONE to avenge said 7 year old (oh yeah just normal teenage stuff >.> but really this is the best part in the game and the whole happy fun stuff really pays off when all of that is put on the line), you hear Naoto’s death scream if you fail to confront Adachi (you know cause she’s being murdered while on the phone with you!), you see all your friends and yourself get literally dragged to hell (and you hear the pleas of a panicking Rise), you see the literal personifications of people’s hidden trauma and problems (just imagining their lives if they didn’t except themselves is depressing as heck), the Shadow Selves’ faces are really freaking creepy, the fact that Shadow!Naoto’s implied “operation” on Naoto would’ve just been pretty much the Shadow dissecting her, just the fact we see in SLs and in story how their lives are pretty much on the verge of falling apart (Chie and Yukiko’s friendship was on the fast track to a literal blow out, Dojima being neglectful of Nanako, Shu and his overbearing mother, the mourning of a sister with Naoki and so on), you can choose to side with the killer and that ending is freaking creepy, the gd music gets so freaking creepy (Omen anyone?), oh back to Izanami you know the death goddess and whom you fight as a bloodied skeleton no that’s not creepy at all, just the idea of being trapped in the Midnight Channel (esp if you don’t have a persona) and have to be surrounded by monsters is anxiety inducing enough, and so on...yeah....totally not a dark game at all. 8U Yes P4 is very light hearted, but that doesn’t mean it’s not dark. As stated above, when you’re friends are divided on murdering someone, that’s the pay off for making it light hearted up to that point, the strain of relationships, the fact it could all crumble if you make one wrong choice and the choices aren’t a giant red “this is the bad end” sign like in P3/5. It can be really anxiety inducing. Sorry if I got a little overly passionate about that, but yeah I’mma defend that P4 is still a dark game till I die. 

Ok so... P5 is dark right off the bat, it’s in your face about it (ya see a girl jump off a building c’mon). Yes, P4 starts off similar, it’s pretty dark off the bat but there’s a....bystander effect in place here unlike with P5 where you’re also involved in Kamoshida’s stuff (plus like the first time you fall into the TV there’s like all these potty jokes like c’mon they walking the fine line of bathos here). You ask anyone if P1-3 and P5 were dark the answer would be “Yes, why are you asking that???” If you ask the same about P4 half the people will be like “Lol noooooooo! It’s super happy wut r u talking about???” and the other half is “Yeah, there’s a lot of fridged horror to it that people don’t seem to realize or just ignore.” Also can I just say....P5 isn’t “fun,” esp compared to P4. By “fun” I mean they don’t really....hang out....that much....and when they do it’s not....really that memorable.....and/or....it’s mostly only about PT affairs (at least with P4 they would discuss IT affairs and then change the subject). So like....I’m sorry but “fun” is def P4′s territory,  P4′s biggest strength and what makes it stand out is that they had the most and the “best”/memorable (ymmv on that of course) “fun” moments/events. So...there’s that. 

Anyway, P4 is subtle about it’s fridged horror while the other’s are not. Because it’s presented light heartedly lots of people don’t see it’s dark underbelly. Yes, Atlus did state both games were made with “fun” in mind, but P4 that was the main point while P5 it was “when I think of phantom thieves I feel like they are very fun,” there’s a difference. And I think one reason why P4 stands out is that it deals a lot with bathos (and it can handle them well). P5 does not. My idea with P6 is that it draws a similar feel from P4, because both have very “positive” colors. P6 would dabble in bathos like P4, dark stuff but then swerve and make it happy again (maybe cause they want to ignore it, ironically I see people joking about that with mental illness so that might actually be kinda topical in and of itself). As for the horrors, I felt like P4 felt more with the psychological side of fridged horror, esp with the “what ifs” and implications, which I think would fit P6 very well (well this idea of P6 that is). 

(btw I hope I didn’t come off as rude here, I was trying to keep it light hearted I swear ;w; I’m tired an about to go to sleep but I wanted to reply before I went to bed, but I’m sorry in advance if I did come off as rude or anything ;w;)

[yourheartsaremine-blog]

You’ve been matched with...

@seraphsword-seraphs​ aaaAAA APOLOGIES FOR THE LONG WAIT I’ve been sluggishly trying to get though reqs and rl at the same time so :’DD Thanks for sending in a matchup req, and I hope you enjoy!

Also fyi that the owl cafe in Tsukishima is absolutely a thing and I’d def rec it for real if anyone is in the Tokyo area. :’D

I feel like you and Futaba would get along grandly! She’s someone who has a fantastic sense of humour and will probably not only be able to appreciate your jokes, but will be more than happy to fire back some puns of her own (to the great exasperation of any of your friends who happen to be in your vicinity at the time). Additionally, she possesses a brilliant mind and would be a more than capable mental sparring partner if the urge to have a friendly debate ever arose! She loves learning about new things and would be more than happy to bestow whatever random information she comes across with you! This is especially true when it comes to topics on the mind, as both you and Futaba share an interest on learning about psychology. Futaba’s gone through a lot and, while she’s gotten better, she still has some difficulty trusting others. For this reason, I feel like she would be able to empathize with your own insecurities and feelings; despite her carefree demeanor, she’d likely pick up quite quickly on your doubts and worries. She’ll be patient and understanding if your insecurity ever rears its head in regards to her intentions, and will reassure you that she wants to stay by your side as many times as it takes. Admittedly, she may not always the best at comforting you when you’re feeling particularly emotional about something due to her own awkwardness, but she always tries to make sure that you at least know that she’s there for you. She’ll be there if you need to talk, and will try her best to cheer you up…though sometimes her own emotions start peaking and she’ll be right there getting mad right alongside you on your behalf! Sometimes, though, simply having someone who understands and expresses the same feelings as you do may help you overcome whatever hurdle is in your way. She won’t write off your feelings, but will seek to understand them while also trying to help you grow. She’s not great at taking care of herself, but Futaba will at least make sure to keep a close eye on you, especially when you ignore your own needs in favour of others. She really admires the side of you that goes out of her way to help friends, but worries about the consequences of you doing it too often. Futaba’s not above telling someone off if she thinks that they’re imposing themselves too much on you, though she’d bring the issue up with you in a gentler manner if she chooses to approach you about it. Overall, your relationship with Futaba is one that is fun and engaging, but is also one where you both mutually understand and support one another!

HCs (w/ Futaba):

Futaba loves it when you get particularly passionate about something! She enjoys the fact that you have so much to say about it, and if it’s something that she’s into as well, she adores having someone to have a nice discussion or debate with. She also finds that she learns a lot just by listening to you talk, which is always a huge bonus for this girl. It might even become somewhat of a tradition for the two of you to have a nightly discussion where, along with sharing things about your day, you choose a specific topic neither of you know a lot about but are interested in and do a little bit of research together.

Whenever a new pair of Pokemon games comes out, you can bet that Futaba will get whichever version that you don’t! You play the games together, trade Pokemon, and Futaba probably names her main team after the Phantom Thieves. She’ll have one named after you too! She would have asked you what your favourite Pokemon was at one point and made sure to breed one with perfect IVs so that she could train it up. It never leaves her team, partly because she’s biased, and partly because of how much of a powerhouse she made it.

Ever heard of cat—and even bird—cafes? Because those are pretty commonplace in Tokyo, and upon learning that you like both     creatures, Futaba would probably surprise you with a trip to one! This can either stem from just an everyday urge to see you smile, or to help cheer you up if she notices that you’re feeling particularly down. They be a little crowded sometimes, but she’s willing to brave the crowd if it means seeing you happy (plus, she feels quite a bit safer in your presence anyways, so it all works out)! She ends up doing some research to find all the different cafes available around you guys, and saves some of the cooler ones—like the owl café down in Tsukishima—for special occasions.

I think that initially in your relationship, she’s not always totally sure what to do when something is making you feel particularly emotional, and this just stems from her own lack of social interaction. However, she’ll try her best to make sure that you know that she’s there for you! At first this may be just be through making sure that you’re well fed (if you like curry, she’ll be demanding lots of that from Sojiro) and staying near you, but as your relationship develops and if you’re comfortable with it, more physical affection comes into play (i.e. handholding, cuddling up, etc)!

 HCs (w/ Phantom Thieves)

I like to think that the back and forth joking between you and Futaba—especially the puns—tends to drive some of your friends insane. Because of the fact he lives at Leblanc though, Akira tends to get the brunt of it, but he at least seems fairly neutral to all of the jokes…up until the point where, in the middle of a PT meeting, he makes his own punny jokes. Then everyone realizes that you’ve both rubbed off on him. In all seriousness, though, you probably do get to spend a fair time with Akira because of his relationship with both Futaba and Sojiro! He proves to be a very reliable friend, and he’s probably one of the best to confide your innermost thoughts to because he’s a great listener and isn’t one to judge.

Whenever you and Makoto find common ground on a specific topic, you two have a lot to talk about! While the student council president is generally quite collected, she absolutely beams when it comes to having a friendly discussion or debate with you on a shared interest. Sometimes, after you’ve had your initial chat, she’ll come visit you on a different day just to drop off some books on the topic that she had checked out for you because she thought you’d enjoy them.

When he learns that you like to draw and design characters, Yusuke’s interest will definitely be piqued! He may ask you to share some of your work with him if you’re willing, and will probably be very curious to ask you about the finer points of your work (i.e. why you chose to design something in that way, your colour choices, etc). Of course, you don’t necessarily have to answer him in a serious manner, but he’ll be quite delighted to know that someone else in his group of friends enjoys drawing. He may go on to ask what other creative outlets you have as well!

 Short scenario:

You and Futaba briefly try to introduce Yusuke to the world of fanfiction and ships. “I’m still not sure I understand.” Beside you, Futaba let out an exasperated sigh. “Look, Inari, it’s just something that fans like to write, okay? Sometimes it’s so that they can expand the story that’s already there, and other times it’s so that they can develop their ships.” Your gaze darted back to Yusuke just in time to see the poor boy’s confused frown deepen even further. Sensing the question that was coming even before it could be asked, you opened your mouth. “Yusuke—” Too slow. “I have heard that term many times, yet I still fail to understand why anyone would seek to introduce fleets of ships in every piece of ‘fanfiction’ that they write. What is this fascination with ships?” Futaba flopped against your side, her face buried in your shoulder as she let out a short laugh. Taking this as your cue (and finally, your first opportunity) to talk, you held up a hand. “Like…’relationship’, Yusuke. A ‘ship’ is when you pair two people or things up, and if you support a specific pair, you say that you ‘ship’ them.” There was a moment of silence as Yusuke digested this information. Then, his face lit up. “Ah, I see! So it can be used as both a noun and a verb.” Yusuke folded his arms across his chest and hummed thoughtfully. “I suppose it is not unlike capturing the essence of love in a painting, only done through the medium of writing instead of the visual arts.” You thought about how to respond to that. He wasn’t entirely off, but it probably wasn’t quite as grand or…refined as he seemed to think it was. In the end, you just settled for nodding. The boy nodded back, the smile on his face indicating that he was satisfied and thought himself properly educated now. “I see. So by that token, I suppose that you and Futaba would be considered a ‘ship’ if I were to use the term correctly.” Your girlfriend finally lifted her head to grin at Yusuke. “You got it, we’re the best ship! You picked that up faster than I expected, Inari.” Yusuke’s expression grew more confident. “And I must say then, that I…’ship’ the two of you. You certainly make for a good couple…though I do continue to question your tastes in humour at times.” You weren’t sure what made you grin more; Yusuke attempting to--and, arguably, successfully--using the term “ship”, or the exasperation in the latter half of his comment. Just as you were about to thank him, however, he glanced at the clock on the wall and let out a little “ah”. “It’s nearly time for the half-price sale at the grocery store! As I ‘ship’ myself with such sales, I must depart at once to ensure that I arrive in time.” The two of you watched as he suddenly got up, and Futaba was visibly trying not to laugh. “Uhhhh, Inari, that’s not really—“ “It was lovely conversing with you both today,” he interrupted, hastily gathering up his things, “And thank you for teaching me about ‘fanfiction’ and ‘ships’. I will return at a later date to learn more, but until then, have a good evening.” And then he was off. For a moment, you and Futaba were both silent, but then you turned to look at one another. You were the first to speak up. “Think we should have emphasized the romantic aspect of shipping?” Futaba thought about it, and the shook her head and flopped backwards into your lap. “Nah, this makes it more fun!”

[utopianparadoxist]

Knights and Pages - Serving, Service and Ownage

[Author’s Note: This is a repost of Love, Faith and Fantasy--my piece on Jake and Dirk’s character arcs and the relevance of Knights and Pages in understanding them. I thought breaking it up into chunks would make the content more accessible, and give me room to flesh out each argument. Thus there will be some updates to the content. Hopefully this will mean more people can easily approach it!] [Pt. 2 - Faith and Fear] [Pt. 3 - Fearful Heart] [Pt. 4 - Noble]  [Pt. 5 - As You Wish]

In my last post, I advanced the idea that Pages are an Active class and Knights are Passive. In so doing, I made the mistake of implying Pages are all secretely hyperintelligent supergeniuses who use everyone knowingly. That wasn’t exactly my intent, but that’s fine--sloppy execution on my part. My bad.

What I didn’t do is discuss the potential key verbs Knights and Pages might operate under--because I honestly didn’t have one I felt confident in. In the wake of discussing the piece with @theworstpersonintheworld (misleadingly named), he made a suggestion that struck me deeply, and once I started thinking about the story in those terms everything truly fell into place.  

I think it will be useful in explaining the dynamic between Jake and Dirk as I see it, so I’d like to make the case for it here before we move forward.

The key verb for both Knights and Pages is ‘Serve’. This puts them in direct thematic opposition to Rogues and Thieves, who ‘Steal’, which lines up with those dual systems Sburb loves so much--after all, if Princes and Bards are ‘Destroy’ classes, it’s reasonable to assume there is also a ‘Create’ set, right?

Knights Serve their Aspect to others. Pages use their Aspect to Serve themselves. To establish this and contrast against Jake’s actions later, let’s see how this model applies to Dave, Karkat and Tavros. First, the Knights, and an outline of the different executions the Serve verb can take.

Serve can mean:

1. To provide, or give (a counterpoint to Take)

2. To provide service for

3. To own or defeat, in literal or rhetorical battle (in the colloquial ‘You Got Served’ sense). 

From the outset, Dave has a reputation for providing his friends with his Time, serving them long rambling diatribes to consume and enjoy.--often far exceeding the time they’re willing to spend on the conversation.

Karkat does the same thing--often offering Pacts and Bonds to friends that he likes while simultaneously offering his services in helping them figure out relationship problems. 

Davesprite comes back from the future and literally empowers not just Dave, but John by providing him Time in the form of a Hammer with Time powers. 

Dave’s primary contribution to the Beta session is to run loops around the session, constantly gathering all relevant resources possible so that his friends don’t need to worry at all about limitations like money or access to weapons and can do whatever they feel like. 

Essentially, Dave takes care of the minutiae. He provides a service to his friends--putting them in the best position possible to act out their own wills. 

Karkat’s ultimate contribution to his session is similar--ultimately, Karkat’s main role was to maintain the bonds between all his friends. LIke Dave’s, Karkat’s nature affects every single other player, keeping them bound towards a common goal and thus bettering their odds of winning the game. (it’s worth noting I think Vriska’s view of Sburb is wrong here.) 

This predisposition to giving service to others is also likely why Knights seem to end up helping out with Frog Breeding duties so often. This is essentially the most important game objective, and so helping the Space player in completing it is also helping every other player in step. 

And then there’s this. There’s a colloquial definition of Serve that derives it’s use from the term “Get Served”, which Urban Dictionary defines as: To be completely owned or shown up by someone. Kinda like Dave does to us here--which Karkat also does, by the way, before going on a rant outlined by his ambitions and silhouetted with Blood colors. 

When Karkat wants to make something bite, he ends a relationship. Refuses to continue offering his Aspect, basically. This is also something Dave does repeatedly--he overwhelms Tavros with a time-consuming and epically sassy document, and makes Time-based power plays against Karkat as a gesture of antagonism. 

To serve someone in this sense essentially means to defeat them in rhetorical or literal battle, explaining why Aradia describes Knights as a powerful Warrior class--one of the definitions this wordplay allows for is a class that uses its Aspect to deal devastating, embarrassing defeats.

Dave obviously uses Time powers to fight, thus enabling him to Own/Serve his enemies in this sense, but Karkat is much more interesting here. Karkat also seems to fill the second stipulation Calliope puts onto Passive classes--that is, that they tend to function with less awareness of their Aspect, their Aspect working through them rather than under their direct control, as if through “The Will of the Aspect”. 

Every time Karkat wins a confrontation in Homestuck, he does so by establishing a connection. You can argue Karkat’s aware he does this with Gamzee, but he doesn’t really parse it as doing a Knight of Blood thing. But with Clover he doesn’t realize what he’s doing at all! He thinks he just beat this green elf dude, but what actually happens is Clover wanted to enter a relationship with him. 

What goes ignored is how unlikely a win this is--because Clover is so lucky, he straight up could not be defeated normally. Clover loses this fight not because he’s overpowered, but because he benefits even more than Karkat does. Clover is a horndog, and in his view there’s no better outcome to this fight than Getting Lucky. Karkat wins unawares, as if through the Will of Blood. 

Contrast this with Jake’s win. Jake beats the felt, shocking Crowbar--but Crowbar doesn’t benefit from this at all. Jake does. Jake is the one who wants to be seen as an impressive adventuring hero, and by exposing Crowbar to an unforeseen possibility, he achieves that. 

I’d like to posit a corollary attribute that I believe holds true for all Classes, as well. This one is not explicitly advanced textually, but I believe I can back it up. It takes place along a different axis. I posit that just as the classes affect their Aspect, so too they are affected BY their Aspect.

So in addition to the Active/Passive distinction, we could read both Knights and Pages as ones who are Served by their Aspect.

This is true of Dave, as he gets owned by his Bro in an explicitly time-consuming fight. And the trend continues as he then gets saved by his future selves over and over again throughout the session--being served in both senses:

In this sense, Dave also operates “As if through the Will of the Aspect”, even as he’s in control of his actual powers. He’s presented with stable time loops that he has to obey, and it’s kind of a loaded question whether any given Present Dave would have taken the same path had he not already been given the path to follow from his future selves. 

Now, to contrast before we move on to the rest of this series, a few notes on Tavros:

Tavros’ main psychic abilities correspond to his Classpect--he’s able to move animals to serve his will, providing them direction. The reading that Pages inspire their Aspect in others isn’t totally off, in my view. What it misses is that Pages seem to inspire in others a desire to serve or help them. To benefit themselves somehow. 

Vriska clearly perceives her actions towards Tavros a kind of twisted service, and while I don’t want to put the picture here, Tavros certainly ends up getting Served through Flight--a Breath concept. Tavros also gets the ability to fly early on, like John does--and Tavros gets it directly through Vriska’s service, one of the few times her efforts are actually helpful. 

This doesn’t extend to just Vriska, though. Tavros inspires Kanaya and even Equius--who ordinarily wouldn’t help on account of the Hemospectrum--to provide him with robot legs, extending his freedom of motion, again a concept linked to Breath. This again benefits no one except Tavros. 

Perhaps more telling is this visual language, which suggests Tavros was about to actually Do the Windy Thing--when he was acting under his own will and directing it for a goal he had in mind. Possibly healing? Who knows, we never find out, because this is Vriska. Needless to say, when asked to do things HER way and the way she would most benefit from....Tavros can’t do it. It’s not what comes naturally to him.  

And of course, this reading puts a whole new spin on Tavros’ final act in the story. If we’re reading Pages as intrinsically kind of selfish and self-motivated, then Tavros’ motivation here isn’t to provide a useful service to Vriska. It’s to do something so useful she can’t possibly deny it, so he can have the pleasure of owning her. 

This is Vriska getting Served. This is an immutable fact that is being stated for the record. That it is genuinely helpful does not mean that Vriska getting fucking wrecked isn’t what is taking place here.  Notably, Tavros immediately gives power over the army to Meenah, because he doesn’t give a shit about responsibility. Tavros had a goal, and the ghosts helped him achieve it. 

A final note:

If this reading of Knights and Pages happens to bother you because it means that the Beta session has an uneven distribution of Active/Passive classes, consider the dynamics of both sessions:

In the beta session, Rose essentially takes and follows orders from the Horrorterrors and Doc Scratch, whilst also distributing orders to Dave and John (who each take further orders from troll girls and Jade).

 All of this is ultimately in support of the plan Jade commits to herself, plans herself, and executes herself--taking Active control of the entire session in one fell swoop at the last instant.

In the Alpha session, all three Active players flounder and stifle themselves and each other with nothing meaningful to do and no way to receive substantial benefit. 

Ultimately, it is the Passive player--Roxy--who rises above the constraints of her session and achieves more or less competence at understanding her role and powerset by the end of the session.

In the session that requires constant action and change, there’s Three passives to one Active. In the session that requires patience, introspection, and connecting with each other, the inverse is true. The incentives and natural skills of the players are set at odds in both cases, stacking the cards against them.

In fact, @arrghus  makes an insightful point about these unbalanced sessions: 

Namely, that this puts the kids in the exact same position as the Trolls’ Red and Blue teams--which ALSO have an uneven distribution of Passive/Active classes under this reading, only reaching equilibrium when added together. 

This segment covered, we can move on to Jake, and how this reading of Pages reflects on him. 

This series has been a passion project, but also a side project to my youtube series aimed at welcoming and explaining Homestuck to new, incoming Hiveswap fans. If you find yourself trying to make it easier for a Hiveswap fan to understand what Homestuck is about and how it connects to the game, I hope you think of me.

If you like my writing and have a buck to spare, you could also really help me out by enabling me to focus on putting more of this content out there through pledging on Patreon. Doing so will also give you access to my private community of enthusiasts trying to advance new and interesting readings of this wonderful property.

See you again soon, everyone. Until then,

Keep rising.