#i want to hit myself

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[clownboybebop]

if you’re ever in the position to choose between giving up and accepting defeat, and actually trying to fight the ancient unkillable god that is about to peel apart reality like a string cheese, remember this: scientifically speaking, you might as well give it a shot!

1.there were trees at the beginning of the world! there were trees so long ago that they predate bacteria that causes wood to decay. when a tree fell, it would lie there in stasis and there wasn’t any way of breaking down wood xylem on a molecular level in that way.

2. it seems obvious to say, but wood eating bacteria are literally incapable of comprehending what they’re breaking down. It’s just not information conciously available to a microorganism. they don’t know what they’re deconstructing, where it came from, bacteria have no way to even fathom the existence of a tree as a concept.

3. Regardless of the facts above, the world we live in today is a world where wood inevitably decomposes

it is worth fighting the unkillable god no matter how pointless it seems. it is worth taking the risk even though youre trying to accomplish something impossible. the reality in which you live was also once reality in which trees didn’t rot. You live in a reality that allows for existence before the possibility of destruction. you live in a reality where uncomprehending microbes break down matter that is so far beyond the scope of their comprehension that it feels comical to specify something so obvious. you live in a reality that occasionally allows unshakeable physical truths to be altered with no warning.

It is worth fighting the unkillable god because trees are so old they predate the source of their destruction, and it still did not spare them. It is worth fighting the unkillable god because bacteria rots unthinkingly, because there is room in our cosmos for destruction without comprehension on the part of the destroyer. It is worth fighting the unkillable god because now and then reality retracts the promise of immortality without fanfare, and when that happens there is no mercy for the ancient. the unmaking is not softer for the desecrators ignorance. for all things, existence is endless until the exact point where it ends.

so you might as well try to kill the unkillable god. it doesn’t seem likely, but at the beginning of the world, trees didn’t rot. so you never know! you never know

[hinamie]

to moving forward

[inkskinned]

you're in the habit of denying yourself things.

if someone asked you directly, you would say that you love a little treat. you like iced coffee and getting the cookie. you drink juice out of a fancy cup sometimes, and often do use your candles until they gutter out helplessly.

but you hesitate about buying the 20 dollar hand mixer because, like. you could just use your arms. you weren't raised rich. you don't get to just spend the 20 dollars (remember when that could cover lunch?), at least - you don't spend that without agonizing over it first, trying to figure out the cost-benefits like you are defending yourself in front of a jury. yes, this rice cooker could seriously help you. but you do know how to make stovetop rice and it really isn't that hard. how many pies or brownies would you actually make, in order to make that hand mixer worthwhile?

what's wild is that if the money was for a friend, it would already be spent. you'd fork over 40 without blinking an eye, just to make them happy. the difference is that it's for you, so you need to justify it.

and it sneaks in. you ration yourself without meaning to - you don't finish the pint of ice cream, even though you want to. the next time you go to the store, you say ah, i really shouldn't, and then you walk away. you save little bits of your precious things - just in case. sometimes you even go so far as putting that one thing in your shopping cart. and then just leaving it there, because maybe-one-day, but not right now, there's other stuff going on.

you do self-care, of course. but you don't do it more than like, 3 days in a row. after that it just feels a little bit over-the-edge. like. you can't live in decadence, the economy is so bad right now, kid.

so you don't buy the rice cooker. you can-and-will spend the time over the stove. you can withstand the little sorrows. denial and discipline are practically synonyms. and you're not spoiled.

it's just - it's not always a rice cooker. sometimes it is a person or a job or a hug. sometimes it is asking for help. sometimes it is the summer and your college degree. sometimes it is looking down at scabbed knees and feeling a strange kind of falling, like you can't even recognize the girl you used to be. sometimes it is your handprint looking unsteady.

sometimes it is tuesday, and you didn't get fired, and you want to celebrate. but what is it you like, even? you search around your little heart and come up empty. you're so used to denying that all your desires draw a blank.

oh fuck. see, this is the perfect opportunity. if you had a mixer, you'd make a cake.

[knifearo]

being aromantic is like. hey btw you're going to live a life that is the culmination of most of society's worst nightmares. sorry lol ✌️ but then you turn around and take a really good hard look at it and it turns out that living in that nightmare is fucking awesome and you get to wake up every day and take that fear that other people have and laugh and hold it close until it's a great joy for you instead. and being happy is a radical act that you define instead of someone else. and you're sexy as fuck that's just a fact of life i don't make the rules on that one

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Ooh, you want to know what happens at the gay bar run by ex-pirates, ooh...You'll just have to read Tiger Tiger to find out...

(Inspired by this Disco Elysium comic)

[buggachat]

adrien is acespec, autistic, genderqueer, and arguably not human (sentibeing). he does not realize any of these facts, however, because that would require knowing himself. which he does not

[macksartblock]

something something four horsemen something

(bonus goof below, courtesy of my friend)

me n the boys hitting up Papa J's

[edorazzi]

It's Tintin Day again!!! 💖

It's also spooky month so time for some costumes - Sherlock Holmes and a very cute Hound of the Baskervilles! 🔎👻

[risingsunresistance]

i'd heard about the new minecart mechanics and people launching themselves off ramps, but i wanted to see how practical it was for travel. used buttons so that the rails would go back to their off positions after i used them... but hitting the button is really hard once you get going kjhfkg

behold: the multidirectional centrifuge

[cccotard]

school day :p

[brainrotcharacters]

I'm just so happy for Logan honestly he finally found a bitch insane enough to match his freak

[14dayswithyou]

no way you dropped the biggest river lore in the tags and moved on like it was nothing 😭 can i ask if this is still your intentions with him? bc it sounds like you changed your mind halfway 🤔

im ngl though i really enjoy how ren and river are similar and different to each other, but does that mean river would hurt his angel but leave our friends alone the same way ren would never hurt his angel but would unalive all of our friends? since they're suppose to be each other opposites. i really hope this makes sense 😬 my final question is what is ren doing on thursday? i want to go on a cute pier date again 🩷🌸

@secretkoa asked: and can i hear more about what unsent memory is suppose to be about or is that off limits? idk if i asked this in my previous question so ignore me if i did! thank yuo and remember to drink lots of water 🐸🌱

⌞♥⌝ For those who haven't seen the original post, I want to quickly clarify once more that while River was originally my OC, he's since been picked up and revamped by my friend Jesse/@unsentmemory!!

However, now that Jesse has stepped away from the yandere community, River's fate (and da fate of Unsent Memories) has kinda been put on the sidelines for the foreseeable future.

‼️ Massive Unsent Memories and River spoilers under the cut ‼️ CW for: mentions of gore, torture, mutilation, self-harm, etc.

With all of that being said, yes, Jesse's original intention for River was for him to be your standard "serial killer-turned-yandere once he accidentally catches feelings for his latest victim (Bunny)". The only main difference is that I originally planned for River to be a generic murderer first, whereas Jesse had him become a yandere right off the bat.

You also asked to know more about Unsent Memories, and I think giving a general synopsis(?) would be fine?? ^^ But basically... After getting involved in a car accident, Bunny wakes up with amnesia and gets tricked into thinking that this random guy — whom they've never met before — is their loving, supportive boyfriend named River. In turn, he convinces Bunny that staying in their shared home would be more beneficial than staying in the hospital as it might rekindle some old memories, he'd be able to take care of them, and it would be easier for them to recover at their own pace. But surprise!! River is actually a frequent patron at the Murderer Motel™ and now has trapped Bunny in his Torture Basement®!!! <3 He also maaaay or may not've been the one who hit them with Ren's car as well... ^^ Oopsie daisy hehe

And yeah!! Similar to what you've said, River was also supposed to share (somewhat of) a narrative foil with Ren!! I personally wanted them both to have similar, complimenting vibes with each other — all while having completely different/separate motives and incentives when it comes to the object of their affection. I'm glad to see it was conveyed well enough; even after Jesse's additions to River's characterisation :3 I know I already shared some examples in the previous tags, but I can share a few more:

Where Ren puts Angel's feelings and opinions above his own, River purposefully ignores Bunny's and does everything for his own personal benefit. Essentially, "I'm doing this for you" vs "I'm doing this for me".

While Ren would never dream about harming Angel in any capacity, he's perfectly happy to kidnap, extort, torture, and kill everyone else... In contrast to River, who's accustomed to torturing and brutalising others for his own twisted enjoyment and sees it as a way to show his interest in Bunny.

Kinda silly how Ren claims to be a freelance programmer (but is actually a hacker) and how River claims to work at a music shop (it's a coverup for his second torture chamber lmaoooo).

[CW: implications of SH] Ren is willing to go as far as mentally and physically hurting himself if Angel asks him to, whereas River is willing to physically mutilate Bunny if it means keeping them by his side. [end CW]

With that being said, you can assume that Ren is easily swayed by Angel's words, opinions, and emotions, whereas River can easily sway and manipulate Bunny due to his own feelings and emotions.

This is something I've actually mentioned before, but Ren always prefers things to be tidy, so he often cleans himself up after disposing of his victims. Compared to River, who casually wears the bloodstains with pride and blames it on getting a bit rough with someone else during a boxing match.

It's no secret that Ren is willing to change every aspect of himself to earn Angel's love, and River is willing to change his serial killer ways to return Bunny's love. Da power of friendship and repressed childhood memories gksdgjh T_T /silly

Ren pretends to be a Normal Guy© with tons of empathy to spare, whereas River pretends to be a Regular Person℗ with the heart of a himbo.

I could go on but you get da point lol

So, yeah!! This is essentially the vibes we had planned for River (and Unsent Memories) before Jesse stepped down /pos ^^ I feel like talking vaguely about UM is fine since River only has a small cameo in 14DWY — and I'm sure that if Jesse ever returns from war (/silly), they'll give River muuuuch more justice than I possibly can :3c

[taytei]

A ghost kings favorite resting place

[Imagine description below]

[Image ID: a collage of colored drawings of Hua Cheng resting in various positions in Xie Lian’s lap. All warmly lit, as if they’re sitting in sunset glow, except one. Buckle up, this is long.

The upper left an overhead shot of HC in his San Lang form, laid on his back with his head resting in XL’s lap, his arms extended back to rest lightly around XL’s waist. His eyes are closed, with a small and peaceful smile. XL’s face is obscured as he looks down at San Lang, one hand cradling his cheek and the other playing with his crooked ponytail.

Next, Hua Cheng in his ghost king form, sitting upright and cradled with Xie Lian’s arms wrapped around his waist. HC is leaning back into the hold, head tilted up and against XL’s head, eyes closed and his lips curled in a delighted smile. Xie Lian has his chin resting on HC’s shoulder, expression soft and equally delighted. Both have a light blush on their cheeks.

Next, Xie Lian is kneeling, his expression is soft and gentle as he leans over HC (ghost king form) resting on his lap. One hand is resting on HC’s head, hair tangled in his fingers as he brushes it away from his face. The other is cradling HC’s head, pillowing his cheek against his leg. Hua Cheng’s body is mostly obscured behind XL’s legs, with only really his head and is right arm visible. Said arm is curled around in front of XL’s legs, hand lightly gripping XL’s robe. He’s leaning his head into XL’s palm, eyes closed with a light smile, like he’s about to fall into a nap.

Next, Xie Lian is positioned like he’s sitting on a chair, feet planted on the ground. Hua cheng appears to be sitting on the ground next to XL’s legs, upper body sprawled across his legs. Xie Lian is leaning slightly forward, one hand resting on HC’s back, head tilted down enough to see his eyes are fond. Hua Cheng has one arm wrapped behind XL’s back and around waist, while his right arm is laid over the top of his legs. His expression is like a cat absolutely basking in comfort. On Xie Lian’s head, shoulder and hand (the one resting on HC’s back), rests Wraith Butterflies.

The next is a two part companion sketch. One is a smaller drawing. Hua Cheng is in his San Lang form, sitting in Xie Lian’s lap face-to-face. His hands are resting on XL’s shoulders, his legs on either side of XL’s waist. He has a lightly teasing smirk with a gentle blush on his face. Xie Lian is sitting cross legged, with his hands on either side of San Lang’s waist. He looks like he’s happily talking.

The follow up is a bigger drawing. Both in similar positions but more from behind Xie Lian, so his face is now obscured. Hua Cheng has poofed into his ghost king form, pink clouds circling around him to imply the transformation. His arms have now wrapped around Xie Lian’s neck, wrists lightly crossed over each other, with XL’s hair ribbon wrapped around some of his fingers. He’s leaning more forward into Xie Lian’s space, his expression just. Smitten. Singular eye half lidded. Xie Lian’s expression isn’t visible, but vibrant blush lines imply a flustered state. He’s still cradling Hua Cheng in his arms.

Upper right corner are uncolored, monochrome doodles. One of E-Ming resting in a coiled nest of Ruoye, his eye crescented in a pleased smile. Next to it is a chibi style, forward facing doodle of Xie Lian happily squishing Hua Cheng’s cheeks. Hua Cheng is, again, laying on his back, face up, with his hands resting on his chest. His smile is squished, and his one visible eye pleased.

The final colored one is more darkly lit. Xie Lian is seen from the back, sitting cross legged on a cushion at a low-risen table, one hand holding a ink brush up aloft. He’s position as if he’s looking down at what he’s working on. He is wearing a red robe. Hua Cheng (ghost form) has his lower body sprawled across XL’s legs, curling onto his side to wrap is arms around XL’s waist. Hua Cheng’s expression is hidden, as he has his head laid on a cushion in the floor, his hair sprawled messily over the cushion. His fingers are lightly folded over each other on Xie Lian’s side. He is wearing a white robe. The mood is like it’s a late night in their room, only lit by a single candle hidden behind Xie Lian’s form, implied only by a soft yellow light outlining XL. /.End ID

Sorry this is so long, it’s my first time writing an image description gjsjgks

[velvetwyrme]

❤️❤️❤️ // Where the Daffodils Grow: Chapter 11

Some fanart for the amazingly talented @sweetlilbird! This scene was!!! Really cute!! (anyway go read their fic it is very fun)

[theonewhowails]

Golden Fleece