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starredblood · 1 day ago

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NOWHERE GIRL

PART SEVEN

kang sae-byeok x fem!reader

synopsis: things start crumbling down.

wc. 2.1k

warnings: violence, blood, lots of profanity, angsty af, small comfort | authors note: omg im so sorry yall the worst is almost over soon i promise lololololol

(nowhere girl masterlist)

Rain droplets start hitting your skin so you hope that’s reason enough for Yen-ho and his gang to leave you alone. Maybe just maybe, Yoon did something right by telling him to back off but you can never be too safe. Instead of heading to the dining hall, you make your way towards the library and weigh out starvation. Much better than a beating.

Today you’re hyper aware of your surroundings until the first spring showers have finally started. In the worst time possible. You try booking it to the other end of campus before you get drenched head to toe. Of course you forgot to pack a jacket the day your parents decided to disown you.

“Get her!” a muffled voice shouts from a distance.

Your breath hitches but your fight or flight instincts kept telling you to run so you started running till your legs were sore. However, running while trying to keep your belongings in your person was no easy feat as you kept having to adjust the strap of your portfolio tote so it wouldn’t slip off. But the adrenaline was kicking. Your heart race kept increasing, and you lost sensation in your legs. You think you can make it to the library hall and call for security.

“Gotcha!” a male voice snarls. He hooked his arms around your waist knocking the air out of your windpipe and lifted you off the ground from behind. “Yen-ho, I got her!”

You tried using all your body parts to push Yen-ho’s friend away but the more you fought back the tighter his grip on you became. Now you had trouble breathing.

“Shit, it’s a fucking rainstorm today.” the other friend complains as he and Yen-ho sprint towards you.

“Let’s her to the alleyway before anyone sees!” Yen-ho orders, using his hands to block the rain from his eyes. He gives you a malevolent smirk before his friend carry’s you over his shoulder.

“Stop it you bitch!” the guy barks as you tried to punch his back. It was no use, he’s as solid as a rock.

He pins you against the wall of the alley and grabs your left arm while the other guy grabs your right. You are forced to stare up at Yen-ho, who’s looking you up and down like a predator eyeing their prey.

“Thought you could get away huh? Yoon texted me this morning.” he begins his monologue. “She said to leave you alone. Thanks to you, now she thinks I’m some woman beating prick.”

“No, really? Because that’s exactly what you are.” you say brusquely.

He knees you right in the stomach. The pain is searing in your middle and you can feel your lips begin trembling, unable to hold back tears.

“Quiet! I’ll teach you what happens when you keep disrespecting your elders.” he barks. His teeth flare like a wolf. “Hey, pass me those.” he points at his friends to your tote and laptop scattered on the ground. Your heart drops to the pit of your bruised stomach.

“No, don’t do it! No fuck you—fuck you!” you cry out when he breaks your laptop by folding it on its wrong side. You hear the loud snapping sound it made, even through your louder cries. “Stop it, stop it please stop it!”

You feel yourself bellow out more profanities but aren’t sure if you said them out loud or if it was just in your head. The pain of watching him stomp and tear every work in your tote was so unbearable. His friends got a tighter grip on your arms when you start dropping on the ground, unable to hold yourself together anymore. You just want to curl down and sob. Everything was gone now. Everyone is gone.

Instead of watching anymore further, you drop your head to the ground letting your soaked hair conceal your face.

“No, no, no, you have of watch.” Yen-ho’s minion says and grabs a chunk of your hair to pull your head up giving you no other options but to look. You can’t fathom how quickly all of your years worth of work can just be gone in seconds.

When Yen-ho is finished he wipes the rain and sweat off his forehead and eyes. He turns to look at you and cackles at how defeated you look. It amuses them how you’re slumped on the ground shaking with tears pooling your eyes. They made you become a person who is nothing but drenched, pathetic and hopeless.

“Hey, don’t look so innocent now.” Yen-ho says. He bends down to meet you at eye level, grabbing your chin so you will look into his eyes. “I told you that I would bring justice into my own hands, didn’t I?”

“Yen-ho. Let her go.”

You hear a familiar husky voice ring past your ears but you can’t help but think that it’s just your imagination. Afraid to look deeper into Yen-ho’s dark eyes you close your eyes and silently sob some more.

“Kang Sae-byeok? No fucking way. It has been forever how you’ve been?” Yen-ho gapes, eyeing the taller girl then down at your trembling one. He roars with laughter yet again after connecting the dots. “Oh no, don’t tell me this your little girlfriend! Fuck I should’ve known you were a fucking lesbian too with the way you kept rejecting my moves on you!”

Sae-byeok doesn’t do nor say anything except maintain strict eye contact with Yen-ho. He sighs and signals for his friends to drop you. When they do, you don’t pick yourself off—Sae-byeok’s breath hitches when she sees your weakened state from the corner of her eyes.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing here?” he scowls. “You’re going to slice my neck open with that little thing?”

Sae-byeok’s grip on her pocket knife tightens.

“Just wait until my dad finds out you’re still alive. You’re in deep shit, Kang so make sure you got his money before we come and find you.”

“When your dead beat father does come I can’t wait to tell him about the time you called the cops on him just so you can go pop his clients pills.”

Yen-ho trembles in rage while his friends hold back their laughter. His face gets so red the rain hitting his skin could evaporate. “Hey, shut your mouths and get her!”

One of the minions snatches the pocket knife from Sae-byeok giving Yen-ho the opportunity to use his foot to kick her square in the chest. When he lands on the ground he uses this opportunity to jump on top of her and start getting in his furious punches in. Some Sae-byeok was able to dodge but most she had to endure. She can taste the familiar metallic taste of blood in her mouth.

“Yen-ho, stop it! Leave her alone!”

The heavy rain only was able to let Sae-byeok see a blurry figure of a poised looking stranger desperately approach Yen-ho. She holds him back by his chest and shouted in his face some more to level with him but all Yen-ho saw was red. Red in the form of Kang Sae-byeok.

The minions stand by confused when Yen-ho stops, not realizing that it was by force but it gives Sae-byeok the perfect opportunity to reach for you.

You were sprawled on the floor when you hear Sae-byeok call out your name, bringing you back to reality. You too only saw red in Sae-byeok’s face, not from fury but from blood.

“Sae-byeok, your—your face.” you were able to croak.

“No time. We have to run.” she says breathless and lifts you up by both your forearms.

You didn’t have time to register what just happened, you just know that Sae-byeok is the one holding you firmly by your wrist helping you sprint out of campus grounds. Although the rain was cooling off your agitated body, it blinded you from seeing where she was taking you.

“Sae-byeok, I can’t—can’t anymore.” you wheeze after running for who knows how long. She slows down when you do and leads you to the back of nearest building. You throw your back on the moistened bricks of the restaurant you’re hiding behind to catch your breath, but it hurts to breathe. It felt like you were inhaling fire.

It might’ve been five minutes, hours, or days of you just catching your breathl until you regained some of your composure. Eventually you did regain some of your senses back, that’s when your eyes adjusted to the sight in front of you.

Sae-byeok was also breathing heavily, short hair disheveled, looking down at the ground and kept wiping the blood dripping down from her nose with the end of her sleeves. You’re having a hard time believing that she is here in front of you, saving you from a fate that could’ve been much worse. But you didn’t have time to think about what just happened to both you when you know that she is here enduring pain caused by your adversity.

“We have to go to a pharmacy.” you breathe out. “You’re bleeding too much.”

It was like Sae-byeok reduced in size, feeling so small letting you see her in this broken down state.

“Okay.” she manages to say.

This time you were the one having to guide her. Luckily, you were familiar with this town as it’s still near campus so you’ve wandered them countless times. It was a ten minute journey to the nearest pharmacy but neither of you walked with urgency. Not even the spring day rain made either of you hurry due to exhaustion and dehydration.

You guide Sae-byeok by the small of her back underneath the awning of the pharmaceutical building. She slowly crouches down on the sidewalk. When she sits down, she starts clutching her stomach and her face begins to contort when the adrenaline goes away. Now all she can feel is sharp throbbing pain.

“I’ll be back quick just hold on.” you reassure her with a quivering voice.

Sae-byeok can only groan in pain so you bolt into the pharmacy and grab anything that could help soothe her aches. Tissues, pain killers, an ice pack, water bottles, all crammed in your arms as you make your way to the counter.

“At least those idiots didn’t take my wallet. Fuckers.” you scowl when you patted down your jean pockets and pulled out your thin wallet case.

The cashier throws you a skeptic glance while quietly scanning the items. You didn’t notice the concern in their eyes when all you kept doing was looking through the door to see if Sae-byeok was still sitting there conscious.

You sit next to her, placing the shopping bag in between your thighs and start pulling everything out. You take out a handful of tissue paper and reach over to wipe the blood dripping down Sae-byeok’s nose when she flinched back.

“It’s okay, I’ll do it.” you say reassuringly.

Sae-byeok stares at you, and you wonder what could she be thinking. The tension in her shoulders start subduing so you hesitate to try again. To your relief, she stays still while you wipe the blood that reached all the way down to her chin.

She stares over the rain hitting the pavement and lets the noise of the droplets tapping the ground soothe her. When she didn’t feel your body heat near hers she peers over at you. You’re holding out a bottle of water and pain killers to pass it over to her. Deja vu overcomes her.

Swallowing the pain killers and chugging the water, she savors the feeling of hydration until she hears the quiet sounds of someone sobbing.

When she observes you, she realizes that you must’ve gotten a lot taken away from you today. Not just your paintings and sketches, your dignity and hope could be gone with them.

You tried to conceal yourself from Sae-byeok by having your back facing her and covering your face hands with your hands. But you couldn’t control the cries that dared to escape your lips. Sae-byeok’s fingers start twitching, fighting the urge to reach over and find a way to console you.

Cheol is the only person she knows how to comfort. With anyone else it feels wrong, but she is aware that this moment is bigger than her. She knows that feeling of having everything you loved and worked hard for get taken away. The feeling is like a void swallowing you inside out and all you can do is watch as everything comes crumbling down. Sae-byeok yearned for the warmth of another and for them to tell her everything will be okay. But it never came for her.

You hear your name being called out mid sob.

You feel Sae-byeok gently turn your body to face her and without warning she just wraps her arms around you. Her wet strands of hair sticking to the side of your face when she kept pulling you closer like it was her mission was to extract all the pain you were feeling by this embrace. You accept this kind gesture by letting yourself melt into her touch.

“I’m so sorry for all the trouble I caused. I’m so deeply sorry.” you whisper sincerely, tears still streaming down your face. Sae-byeok responds by rubbing your back, but you quickly understand it’s her special way of accepting your apology.

She hopes that you will feel a little elated with the news that she might’ve found a place for you to stay. But she’ll wait as she is aware that you need to feel comforted more right now.

🏷️: @monroesturnns @knfthxv @jumpedthenfell-13 @peelover25 @karli6 @kissedberries @bitchybananaflower @laurenkenss @saebyeokbliss

#kang sae byeok #kang sae byeok x reader #kang sae byeok squid game #kang sae byeok x fem!reader #squid game #squid game fanfic #wlw #wlw fanfic #fanfic

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wolftarotcrafts · 1 day ago

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What is coming towards you in love? Let's find out! Soon I will post another tarot reading on how your relationship may deepen for those in relationships already.

I also just want to say thank you for the support on my other tarot readings I have posted on here. It means a lot to see that my readings have resonated with people. And if you missed those readings and want to check them out, you can go to my page, and I will link them at the end.

I also have started setting up my Ko-Fi, so I will make a separate post on that if anyone is curious about personal readings. Please enjoy the readings.

Pile One:

Oooooooh, pile one. You have got some good things coming in. In terms of what you can expect, I see you meeting the one who you will get married to and start a life with. This is the person who is going to commit to you. I see you guys have kissed frogs and have been patiently waiting for your person. I see that the patience is finally going to pay off because on the horizon I see them arriving. I see you have been focused on yourself and really taking time for you. You are ready to receive what you want. I see it's just within reach. I see some of you are powerful manifesters and may have manifested your person with a spell or vision board. I say refresh the manifestation and make another little list of the qualities and traits you want your person to have and be specific. Use your power pile one and get ready because they are coming.

Signs: Colored hair, Pink, Red, Purple, Black hair, Straight hair, Ocean, boats, Port, Fall, Seattle, Movie-10 Things I Hate About You, Seattle, Sunrise, Tomorrow-Annie, sunshine, light-hearted, Manifestation, Vision board, Songs, Winter, Dec, 18, In a few months, In a few days, Cancer, Virgo, Sagittarius, 1212, Leap of faith, Jack, Fernanda, Ashly, Laura.

Pile Two:

Hey pile two. I feel you guys are kind of in your own world. Many of you are young, like in high school, or just really carefree and youthful. I see you guys are just having fun and living the best life you can. I see there are two possible situations. I see that some people may have a crush on you, and you don't even know it. I see them admiring from afar. I see them finally gaining the courage to talk to you and ask you out. I also see another situation where some of you like someone, and you are observing them, and they are mirroring you and doing the same with another person. I then see you guys somehow come together and start liking each other.

Signs: 6, 12, 19, 22, 26, 29, Aries, Aquarius, Brown hair, Orange, Tattoos, Smart, May, Asia, "Hi," Isaac, Swimming, Messages, hanging out with friends, Daylight Harry Styles, Hold On, We're Going Home- Drake,

Pile Three:

Hey pile three. I am sending you good vibes and all the love. Pile three I am not going to lie. There are some bad vibes here. Make sure you are careful with who you surround yourself with and who you tell your secrets to. I see there are some snakes around you. I see there is going to be some conflict, and you might get heartbroken, and there might be some deception going on. Some of you might know who I am talking about and just ignore the red flags, but listen, it's only going to hurt you in the end. Do not ignore the red flags. Pay attention to your surroundings and who you are with. Not everyone has your best interest at heart. Just guard yourself a little pile three. I know this was supposed to be about love, so one of your friends may take your crush or something like that to hurt you, but again be on the lookout. I'm sending you hugs, pile three.🫂❤️‍🩹

Signs: 18, C, A, I Sneaky, Secrets, Drama, Backstabber, Gossip, Gemini, Sagittarius, "Friends," Alex, Alexander, Adam, Andrea, Cassandra, Cassie, July, Sad songs Wildflower-Billie Eilish

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I have started working on my Ko-Fi, so more news on that is coming. Disregard the Etsy link.

Other Tarot Readings

Future Spouse PAC (Appearance)

Future Spouse PAC (Personality)

Advice-What you need to hear

Spirit Guide Reading

Again, thank you for the support!

#daily tarot #free tarot #pick a card #pick a picture #pick a pile #tarot pac #tarot pick a card #tarot reading #tarot #love reading #tarotblr

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rxbelling-hxrald · 2 days ago

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With their main foe out of commission seemingly, the demon-hog sighed in relief, with the hordes he'd taken down he doubted they'd have too much more active security down here sides from the outer turrets of the ship itself but that was something to worry about on the exit plan.

Ely had the right idea as he went on by towards the final doorway between them and their prize, the demon-hog may have been bruised and bleeding but he too was focussed on just finishing this up and taking their leave as soon as possible. Who knew if the doctor had arranged for more reinforcements to join the warship.

If the gem was THAT valuable, most likely.

"You want to use force to get in there? I thought you were meant to be the stealthy one?" Dan would comment as he joined Ely at the opposite side of the entrance, readying to breach.

"Could it be your enjoying this?"

Ely had turned towards Dan when he heard the shout, taking a moment before he dodged out of the way of the spiked robot as it rolled towards him. The red hedgehog watched as the door came down and the robot ran right into the crack of it. There was something terrible watching it get stuck in the little opening, the door trying its best to smash it out of the way so it could close.

I supposed that worked good enough. What was more important was that last lock! For now he turned his attention away from the robot, not bothering to ask his partner if he was okay as he ran towards the last room. He only skidded to a stop at its entrance. "Get ready to make a burst to that emerald!"

#path_of_the_lost #themultiversebundle #tw: blood

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emmyrosee · 9 hours ago

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i js wanna say that i adore ur works that i praised the Lord when i saw ur haikyuu masterlist, and is it possible if we got to see dad ushijima in smth similar to this??

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C8LMPVASVeN/?igsh=MTN5cTNsNXZ6eXRobQ==

i love your works sm 😭🤍 i js hope u know that

There's an intense wailing coming from your daughters room. One that has your own soul shaking from the intensity.

Wakatoshi was in charge of putting Reina down tonight, something that usually goes super smoothly for him, but something clearly isn't right. You make a beeline for her bedroom, stomach churning as her cries become more intense, and when you finally make it to the doorframe, Wakatoshi looks absolutely panicked while he bounces Reina up and down.

"What happened?" You ask quickly.

"Daddy's g-onna d-die!"

What?

"Excuse me?" You say, brow quirking at Wakatoshi while he flashes you an apologetic look. "What is going on?"

Wakatoshi sighs and continues to rock Reina in his big arms, "she noticed some of my grey hairs coming in, and when she asked about them, I told her that people get them when they’re older... and... she told me that people who get old die..."

You freeze. He winces, "I'm sorry..."

You take a shuddery breath in and make your way into the purple bedroom, gently cupping your daughter's chubby cheek in your hand. Your thumb tenderly wipes the tear tracks that cling to her cheeks, and you shush her softly, "you don't ever have to worry about that, sweet girl. Not now, not ever."

"But... But daddy's gonna leave me, 'nd you too! ‘Nd no one’s gonna love me!"

"That's not something you need to worry your pretty little head about, Reina," you assure, trying to find the best way to navigate this. The concept of death wasn't exactly something you'd assumed you needed to worry about explaining tonight. "Sometimes, when people get old, yes, they might pass away, and not be around anymore. But,” you hook a lock of hair behind her ear, “that doesn’t mean they ever stop loving you. And I promise you, with everything in my heart, you won’t have to deal with losing mommy or daddy any time soon, okay?”

“Pinky swear?” She sniffles.

“Pinky swear,” you assure, sticking out your little pinky to link with hers. “Who told you that when people get old, they die, baby?”

She whimpers and wipes her eyes with her hand, “a boy in my class. He said his g’ma died ‘nd she was old.”

You shake your head and look at Wakatoshi, “you go to bed. I’ll stay up with her for a while.”

“No,” he says softly but firmly. “I want to be here too. I think it’s important for us both to be here right now.”

You smile softly at him and nod, nudging your head towards your daughter’s small bed, “go sit. I’ll get her a bedtime story.” He nods back at you and makes his way to the small bed, and as you crouch to sort through the assortment of books on her shelf, you smile as you hear him whispering apologies to Reina, followed by her little sniffles in acknowledgment.

Not the smoothest night ever, you’d be lying if you said it was a hassle to be with your family.

Even like this.

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cupidkenji · 6 hours ago

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Gnaw

Now Playing: Gnaw - Alex G everything I knew was looking just as it should Pairing: Nam gyu (player 124) x AFAB!reader CW: smut, oral (r receiving), choking but not in a freaky way he literally chokes reader to get them unconscious (no somno), kidnapping kind of (he takes them back to their house), knifeplay 💀, restraints being used (reader's wrists are tied), noncon technically but again mentally reader is into it, toxic ex bf, he's really whipped tho, minor bloodplay, undertones of sadism, lokey father figure vibes from Nam gyu (i'm so sorry), probably kind of OOC, university AU Summary: After that night, you ran. You should know by now you can never get far from him. Disclaimer: Reader is always thought of to be chubby/bigger when writing but I do my best to not physically describe reader at all with stuff like skin tone or body type. Anyone can read this as reader is not depicted but if there's a slip up please let me know. <3 WC: 3.7k (again) this is a part 2! read part 1 here.

the worms are eating away at my brain i am going crazy. please for this story just imagine you have one of those bed frames that are individual bars w space in between them instead of like one solid thing. also i really need to start writing these earlier in the day so i have the energy to proof read them. i'm sorry for my sins have mercy on me.

The sunlight seared through a pair of shitty motel curtains, attempting to penetrate your shut eyelids. It was the sixth day you were waking up in a scratchy bed on the run down side of your already dirty town. It was the sixth day you would spend missing him.

You knew it was wrong, immoral to even think of returning to the man who had done such a thing. Who was clearly at a place in his life where he could do such a thing. Even through all the intellectualizing of his actions, the pleading you did with yourself to be disgusted, you weren’t. You knew it the second he cleaned you up and went to sleep, and it was terrifying, so you ran. As soon as you were sober, you ran to the only sanctuary you could afford as a college student who was also renting an apartment and a vehicle. You had already overstayed your welcome, knowing that the six days would cost you more than you wanted to shell out. You didn’t know how long you planned to be gone, originally fleeing the scene to be able to think. It was only proving more difficult as the days ticked on. You’d come all the way out here to talk yourself into hating him, only to carve out an even bigger space within yourself that he was to occupy. You missed him. The more you thought about it, the more apparent it became, and that just pushed you to stay longer. To wait out the bruising feeling eating at you the more you forced yourself away.

You skipped class, not daring to step foot on campus lest he be waiting for her. The thought made your head fizz, a horrified and excited feeling mingling as they wrapped around the nerves in your stomach. Just the possibility of seeing him overwhelmed you, but you were simultaneously sick from the distance. You were sick of your surroundings, too. The walls were gray and stained, and you feared the hygiene status of the bed you were sleeping in. You hadn’t had much time to pack when you’d left, grabbing miscellaneous clothing that had yet to be put away and shoving it in a backpack. You hadn’t brought a blanket or a pillow, something you regretted. The suffocating nature of the beige room prompted the nightly walks you’d been taking. It was a bearable temperature, and the full perimeter of the building provided a decent amount of ground to cover. You hadn’t grabbed a charger, leaving your phone dead and you bored. Without any artificial stimulation to occupy your head, you took notice of the normally unnoticeable aspects of such a place. There were bits of a wired fence on the right side of the parking lot, the few lamps that lit the outside up had security cameras on them that didn’t work. You couldn't sleep one night, so you’d gone to look at them, finding that when the cords reached the end of the pole, they’d been haphazardly cut. It looked rushed and frayed, like a child had done it with safety scissors. It was deceiving, truly. There was no safety in an already dim parking lot.

On tonight’s walk, you mulled over the date you’d return by. You still needed to graduate, and realistically, you couldn’t avoid your life forever. You were getting progressively more tired, sleeping less each night you stayed, missing the comfort of your own bed. The ground was uneven and cracked under your shoes, reminding you of the gray, crumbling building you were supposed to retrieve your roommate from. Reminding you of him, how stupid all of this was. There was a familiar smell in the air as you rounded a corner, nearly back to your room. It was distinct, heady and musky, as if you were back on that street and looking up at the flowing smoke again. You did your usual observation of the desolate asphalt full of empty parking spots.

And what the fuck were the odds?

He was already looking at you, the end of his cigarette glowing orange as he took a drag, like a sniper taking aim. He was a mere silhouette being poorly lit up by a streetlight that barely worked, but you knew. It was this feeling of magnetism, the same way he knew exactly who he was looking at, you felt the world around you melt, the air around you became irrelevant as your eyes locked on him. There was another man there, leaning against the hood of his car with Nam gyu right next to him, taking no notice of you as he spoke. You couldn’t make out his words with how far away you were. The man you’d been avoiding making little sounds of acknowledgement while being completely trained on you, posture relaxed and comfortable. He found you.

His friend nudged him, mumbling something and standing up. The both of them walked back into what was presumably the man’s room after snuffing out what they were smoking. You didn’t even register your legs beelining for your room. You threw whatever you had into the backpack you’d brought. You needed to get the fuck out of here. It was an unfathomable cruel move from whatever higher power was in charge of this situation. The two of you were being forced together like sand and water. He was everywhere, no matter where you were he would inevitably catch up. Maybe it took him three months the first time, but clearly he was done waiting. You rushed the check out process, not knowing how long his friend would keep him occupied now that he knew you were here. Maybe he wouldn’t even care. The thought made your stomach twist, but still, you needed to go. Your car seemed like an endless walk from the front doors, parked in the corner closest to your room, dark and unsuspecting. In such an empty place, you didn’t want your car to sit illuminated, as if advertised. This motel had a reputation, and you wanted to keep your means of travel safe.

Your hands shook slightly as you hit the unlock button on your keys, yanking the handle to the backseat and throwing your bag somewhere in the back. It was just clothes, you didn’t care if it rolled around or hit the floor during the commute to wherever you were going, you just cared about getting out. The slam of the back door shutting seemed louder than what was appropriate for such a bone-deep silence for this time of night. Opening the driver’s side, you barely had enough room to squeeze through before it was being shoved closed from behind you. On impulse, you tried to turn around, startled and drowning in adrenaline; but before you could, the crook of his right arm encompassed your neck, tightening like a snake who was readying the prey for consumption. Your hands shot up, grasping his forearm with a futile grip, as if you could will his arm away from you. The pressure on your windpipe was bleeding black into the edges of your sight, static mingling with your hearing as your head got lighter. You could hear quiet shushes and reassurances coming from the man behind you, as though talking a child back into sleep after a nightmare. You dug your nails into the fabric of his sweatshirt as a weak sob barreled out of your mouth. He only pushed a little harder, pulling you into him. The proximity comforted you despite his actions, and you used the last little bit of energy you had to condemn yourself, body going limp against him after the last internal inquiry of what the fuck was wrong with you. He had also noticed the camera situation, knowing that his actions would go undocumented in the empty little place. He walked you over the passenger seat, hauling you in and buckling you up like a kid in a car seat. He started the route to your house, it was a Friday, your roommate would surely be out. He knew she was barely ever at the house, after staying there on and off for two years, he thinks he could probably count how many times he saw her sleep there on one hand. It wasn’t a long drive, twenty minutes or so, and you’d be home.

–

The normally disarming lamplight of your bedroom reeled in your consciousness from the void it had been thrown to. It didn’t feel particularly calming - not now. Your head was on your pillow, a focused Nam gyu diligently knotting a rope around your wrists, bundling them together and lacing the restraint through your headboard. Your neck felt bruised, sore and pulsing with a light pain as the blood rushed to your head. Your legs tensed on instinct, noticing the motion was not detained. He hadn’t tied your legs. You tugged once at the rope, testing the endurance just as much as you were testing your own strength. Your muscles felt nearly atrophied, the action making an ache ricochet through the oxygen-depleted muscles. Your whole body felt tired, heavy. Your exhale was shaky, slowly deflating from your lungs as if your body was made of stone.

“Oh, good.” He double checked the knot, tugging once to solidify it’s hold on you before standing up to look down on you. “I didn’t know how long you’d be out.” He sounded so casual, as if instead of choking you unconscious and dragging you home, he’d simply carried you in from the car after you’d fallen asleep in it.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Your voice was quiet and gravelly, like your throat was coated in sand. Your lip trembled at the feeling of being so close to him. God, you were like a fucking puppy; can’t even be away from him for a week without turning into a weird sentimental puddle upon seeing him again. “Please untie me.” Your eyes watered as you spoke. You’d barely been awake five minutes and you were on the brink of tears. Pathetic.

His eyes flicked over your face at the sight of your eyes welling up, a little glint of something familiar sparking in them for just a moment. “I can’t.” He shrugged, imitating disappointment at the notion. “You keep running from me. How are we supposed to resolve this if you can’t even keep still?”

Resolve this. Your eyes closed at the words, attempting to stop the tears from spilling at the thought. You’d left him for a reason. It was repeated over and over in your head like a mantra. You had to stick to it even if you couldn’t remember what the desire to be away from him felt like. Even as your chest heaved slightly with panic, you hoped he wouldn’t move. You hoped he would keep talking just so you could hear his voice, be near him. It wasn’t a rational wish by any means, but you could feel the intensity of it in your fucking bones with how consuming it was.

“I’m not a patient man, honey. I waited for so fucking long.” He leaned over your dormant frame, putting one knee on the bed and moving his other to mirror the motion, effectively pinning your hips down under his weight. “You know, it wasn’t even your roommate who wanted you there. She just left her phone unlocked, and I knew you’d show up if she asked.”

“What-” Your words halted in your throat as he drew a pocket knife from the pocket of his sweatshirt. Jesus. “Please - you don’t understand-”

“Relax.” The word was chuckled slightly as he cut you off, like the panic that shot through your eyes at the sight of the blade in his hands was unjustified, like you were being irrational. “I think I was too selfish that night, hm?” The look he was giving you felt like it could kill you if he really wanted it to. Intense and suffocating, full of excitement and devotion. “You clearly hadn’t been touched in months and I got ahead of myself.” He shook his head slightly as his eyes looked over you, your chest was moving quick and shallow as you breathed, stomach tensing as he lifted your shirt up just an inch, caressing the skin above the waistband with his thumb. It barely even seemed intentional, as if his hands subconsciously drew themselves to you, needed to be touching you.

Any urge you had to respond kept dying before it could be expelled. What do you even say to a situation like this? He was so at ease, explaining himself like a truly remorseful lover would. To anyone who didn’t know his inflection, that’s where it would end; but you were so in tune with him, you could hear the edge of entertainment that his words carried. Maybe he was sorry, maybe he just liked seeing you unsure.

“I’m gonna make it up to you.” Your breath stumbled as he said it, your wrists grating unconsciously against the confines. “But it hurt my feelings when you ran like that.” He put a hand to his heart as he spoke, emphasizing his words. “So I’m gonna hurt you a little, too.” You felt the point of the blade make contact with the skin that his thumb had been smoothing over minutes before. It was enough to make the first tear fall from the corner of your eye. There was no pressure, just the threat of his words ringing true. Even in this scenario out of most peoples’ nightmares, you still didn’t think he’d truly hurt you, not irreparably. He’d always had sadistic tendencies, you even sometimes - shamefully - thought about the potential that was undoubtedly lurking beneath the surface of his presentability. He could get mean sometimes, especially when he was high, but never like this. He was sober, you could see it in his eyes and the way he moved. He just wanted to do this, wanted to be in control.

He could practically feel the mesh of emotion seeping from your veins, taking longer than necessary to talk just to watch you soak in it. “Just enough to teach you some manners, honey.” His thumb trailed a line of pure heat along your jaw. “Don’t worry. You’ll probably even like it, knowing you.”

A weird feeling jolted through the active nerves in your stomach. It was such a direct callout, based in certainty that he carried in his voice. You felt caught, recalling all the times he most likely knew exactly what you were thinking. Another tear streamed down the side of your face.

The steel in his hand glistened in the low light of your bedroom, the sharpness of it being dragged down the fabric of your shirt, severing the only semblance of modesty you had left; the material draping open and bearing your skin to him. You’d been practically ready for bed by the time you took your walk, foregoing any additional coverage underneath the shirt, leaving all of you vulnerable to the exploration of his eyes. He pushed the sagging cloth to hang more off your shoulders, grazing his hands over the naked parts of you. It was gentle, restrained, like he couldn’t bear the time it would take to touch all of you because he needed it that badly.

You felt the sting of an opening wound a second later, a whimper barely fleeing your throat. It wasn’t deep, he didn’t push hard. His lips parted as the blood rose to the surface of the small cut, pooling within it and releasing a single drop to pour down the side of your stomach. Before it could gain traction, he smeared the runny crimson, letting the liquid coat the print of his thumb. His pupils dilated at the sight, his breath coming out shakier than he’d like as his blood seemed to thrum in his veins.

Your face twisted at the feeling, molten lava pooling in your stomach and burning you from the inside out. You felt hot, immune responses and arousal both running rampant in your body. You’d never felt more awake. He lowered his head to your exposed collarbone, brutally reminiscent of the night that predated this one. “See? Not so bad.” He led his hand up to your mouth, palm skimming your side as he hovered his thumb above your sealed lips, muttering out a request to open your mouth for me and you did because he was inexplicably intoxicating. Your tongue was coated in bitter metal combining with the discreet and slight flavor of his skin. You felt dizzy.

He mouthed down the expanse of your upper body, leaving patches of your skin shiny with his saliva and stinging from the occasional love bite he would leave. He marked his places of affection with small cuts, each one sending a wave of warmth lower and lower, fanning the flames down to where he would ultimately end up. He would kiss over each future scar he left on you, a bloody comparison to your relationship as a whole, his actions making your heart ache and your back arch. You had been trying your hardest to stay quiet, trembling exhales being the only thing you couldn’t suppress; but he had a way of wearing you down in the most pleasurable ways imaginable, gradually building you up to the whimpers that were slipping past your crumbling resolve.

With caring hands, he pulled at the waistband of your pants, folding them out from under your hips and bending each of your legs forward to get them fully off of your legs, laying them back down once he had. The room felt colder than it ever had. He stared with pride at the state of your perpetually clenched thighs, groping at the tense muscles. “What’d I tell you, huh?” He tucked the blade of the knife under the seam of your underwear, pulling up and slicing clean through them. “I don’t know why you want out when you like it so much.” Cutting the other seam, he let the fabric slide off of you, discarding the shreds of useless hindrance and taking in the full sight of you.

You didn’t know why you ran either. You did like it. You liked it so fucking much that it scared you. Maybe it was a fear of feeling good, or a fear of what this kind of connection would inevitably do to you, what kind of a man he was. You’d tried to leave him and ended up panting, wet skin glistening and covered in gashes; and the worst part was you liked it. How the fuck could you like something like this?

He left various other claims of territory on your thighs. Teeth marks, nicks from the knife, worshipping kisses of a man in love. Everything action committed against your wanting flesh had so much emotion laced in it that you could barely take it. You were overwhelmed, your brain half shut down, only stopping itself from going dark because then you wouldn’t be able to feel him, to accept what he was giving you.

He pushed your thighs out of their locked state, soothing over the irritation littered on them with his thumbs and his lips, dulling the sting with an even greater ache that was bleeding directly into the center of you. You felt like he’d lit you on fire.

The tip of his index finger scorched a line up the place you’d been anticipating, shamelessly gliding in copious arousal that had been pooling since you saw him leaning on the hood of that car. It was a touch that seemed to pump life back into you, invigorating and familiar. Something you missed so much that you were sure you’d never be able to fathom the depth of it. He cursed, quiet and breathy; and you groaned at the feeling of friction, even if it was just a little.

His mouth on you was sudden, but not rushed; the spontaneity of it forcing a gasp from you. His actions were calculated, arms wrapping around your thighs to keep you open, malleable and pinned. His hands were tense on your legs, fingers digging in tight as if he was struggling with his own internal grievances. You weren’t sure if it was restraint, or desperation, or something uncharted between the two of you. It was scary to think that something could be undefined right now, that maybe he was lost too.

The warmth of his mouth on you after already having your body thoroughly overworked nearly knocked you unconscious for the second time that night. Your head was as thrown back as it could be given the state of your arms, chest reaching for the ceiling. Your poor wrists burned in the grit of the rope, but it only seemed to add to the peak you were being pushed to. He brought his index finger to sweep through the bountiful wetness in between your legs, this time pushing in and curling up, his second finger joining soon after.

“Gyu - please -” The nickname was so domestic, something that hadn’t left your lips in months but seemed to feel as natural as breathing in this moment. The loving tone hit him like a wave, drawing a reflexive groan from his mouth. His eyes were practically black from how much his pupils encompassed the iris, his own eyes looking a little watery as a less extreme mimic of yours.

“Missed the way you taste.” The auditory affirmation paired with his fingers and his mouth sent you toppling. His fingers never let up, his mouth detaching to plant light kisses on the bone of your hip, looking up at your breathtaking form with an awestruck gaze that you couldn’t see through your closed eyes and tilted back head.

You panted, thinking it was over. Maybe he’d fuck you, or maybe he would make you tea and the two of you would finally talk about things. He just moved his soaking fingers up to your clit, your body jumping slightly at the sensitivity.

“Wait-”

“Shh, just take it.” He spoke low and moved back to where he was, starting again when you had barely started coming down. His declaration of making it up to you rung in your ears. How long was long enough to be considered even? You writhed with overstimulation as you thought about it. Ten minutes? Thirty minutes? An hour? Your second orgasm hit you hard in the middle of your useless inquiries, and you realize it didn’t really matter.

You were in for a long fucking night regardless.

𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃❮𓁿❯𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃

tags: @mitsxuri @citarnosis @namgyunation (tagging you lovely folks because you all mentioned wanting more content. please let me know if you want your @ removed and i will do it ASAP <3)

#namgyu x reader #nam gyu x reader #namgyu smut #nam gyu smut #x reader smut #x chubby reader smut #x fat reader smut #x reader #squid game fanfiction #squid game smut #squid game x reader #cupid:NG #player 124 x reader #player 124 smut #ex boyfriend smut

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freddleafton12345-blog · 1 day ago

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Movie Shadow x fem! Reader! 18+ only! Reader can be mobian or human!))

You told Tom you wanted to go out and try your new skates that he got you from your birthday. He agreed, but told you to be careful.

Were you? Yes

Did you still fall and scuff your knees open? Yes

"You have to be very cautious, especially on cement road like the driveway." The ebony hedgehog warned you, currently tending to your wounds.

Your lover was none other than Shadow the Hedgehog. So strong, so deadly, but so caring.

You giggled. "Relax, Shads. I've suffered worse! Honest! Oh-" you blushed when he kissed the bandages on your knees.

"I can help you. But we need a more suitable environment. More even ground that isn't bumpy from small pebbles." He got onto his motorcycle, holding a hand out. "My lady.."

"Such a gentleman~!" You took his hand, allowing him to pull you up behind him. Once you wrapped your arms around him, he zoomed off.

"WOOHOOO~!! YEAH!" You raised a fist into the air as Shadow swerved through traffic, ignoring the honking of the cars.

As he drove, he handed you his phone. "You can have control of the Playlist if you'd like. I got speakers installed onto this."

"Thanks, Shads!" You picked a song, then tucked his phone safely into your pocket, going back to hugging him.

The Hedgehog smirked. "Ah, My World Is Burning Down Around Me? That's one of my favorites, really."

"Yeah, same here! It's so relatable, haha!"

~~~

He brought you to a skating rink when it was dark outside. So you wouldn't feel embarrassed if you fell and someone saw you.

He hovered infront of you, holding your hands as you started skating. "That's it, my dear. That's it."

You almost fell a few times, but you knew he'd never let that slide on his watch.

"I think I'm getting it! I'm doing it!" Once he key go of your hands, you began skating the same way he did.

And he adored that you tried copying him.

"Then I think you deserve a reward. Change to your normal shoes, then follow me, alright?" His ear flicked.

"Sounds good, babe!" You removed your skates, then put your normal shoes on again.

Once that was done, you followed him behind a large tree.

What was he gonna do???

"Now then..your reward, is me." He got onto his knees and tugged at your pants.

Your face felt hot, but you helped him pull your pants down anyway. Something about the possibility of being caught by a stranger made your pussy get wet.

And Shadow noticed it immediately. He ran his tongue along your newly exposed thighs, before flicking against your clit.

You groaned and gently tugged at his quills. "S-Shadow..ohh.."

"Shh. Let me handle this." He started lapping at your pussy like he was starving for weeks, even inserting two fingers into your slick folds and pumping them.

The pleasure grew and grew, as did his pace. But you didn't wanna cum until he was inside you.

"Shadow, please..I-I need you inside of me n-now.."

"Beg like you really want it.." he continued eating you out.

"Shadow! Please~! I- I-"

"What?" He snarled.

"I want your dick inside of me right now~!"

At this, he pulled away and stood up, his erection hard and throbbing. He gently gripped your hips and slid you down the tree, so you were sitting on the ground. Then he lined up at your entrance and pushed his way inside.

"I'm going to make you scream." He warned, before thrusting into you.

You moaned loudly and threw your head back, not caring if anybody saw or heard you. This felt way too good. Might as well enjoy it.

Pretty soon, your walls clenched around Shadow's length, and you felt it throb inside of you. He was close.

"Ah~! Oh yeah! Harder, harder Shadow!" You begged, gripping his back quills.

"God- your going to be the death of me, Jesus christ." He groaned out, picking up his pace.

Your orgasm was mind blowing, to say the least. Usually, sex between the two of you was passionate and slow. This?

This was much better.

You panted as he pulled out of you, a mixture of your fluids leaking out of your entrance.

"Better clean up. Don't wanna have to explain yourself to Tom and Maddie, do you?" He tutted, gently poking your cheek.

"S-shut up-"

That's right. I knew u thirsty movie Shadow simps would search 4 this. Reblog if u want!))

#sonic movie shadow #sonic 3 #shadow the hedgehog #shadow x reader #sonic 3 shadow the hedgehog

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call-sign-shark · 2 days ago

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Heyaaah Reb. Shark's back again. My apologies for the messy comment but my mind is screaming because of this chapter and typing on an old keyboard with my long nails is a pain in the ass.

What a rollercoaster of emotions it was. It was such a satisfying read as they finally stop fighting against that irresistible pull they experience. First of all I thought it was adorable that Nina loved baking and thst it was her first way to keep her mind busy. As soon as Tommy joined her, I looked forward their heartfelt conversation but gosh I wasn't ready. I didn't expect her to open up entirely to him but it felt so freaking good. My poor love, she must have felt suffocating her own damn life. The line “This pain that you have,” he whispered, “share it with me" had me melting. I'm sucker for this kind of hurt/comfort trope. I don't know how he does that but he always find the right word to say to reassure her. This is directly linked with this line "She didn’t know how else to explain it except to say that they seemed to understand each other." its exactly what I was trying to say, they understand each other on a diffrent level and I can't imagine how relieving it shoud be for Nina, who has been misunderstood all her life. To the extent she thought she was the problem, the abnormal one.

And I found out Stefano and his brother had a habit of dragging girls into their car. I didn’t know what it was that they did to them, back then. But it was scary. I stole my brother’s pocket knife, just in case, and always took it with me.” -> GOSH SOMEONE KILLS STEFANO PLEASE. He's a monster.

“He asked me if I had, perhaps, done something to… encourage that behaviour. To make him believe that I wanted that kind of attention.” -> I know it was a common thought and still is but brooooooooo it got me angry (and sad for Nina who's got blamed)

Then, I must say that I particularly adore how you describe the longing Tom has for Nina. I'm reallz fond of of those scene in a fic where we get to see the other character's pov and how he's getting intoxicated by the MC. You did an excellent job at conveying how he's now walking on thin ice.

And last but not least.... THIS IS THE MOST ROMANTIC AND HEARTWARMING SMUT I?VE NEVER READ. Tommy taking her virginity so carefully and always asking for her permission had me screaming. He's so considerate I could feel how much he cares for her as the words aligned. Nina's reaction also astounded me: this is so raw, so realistic for a first time. Whether it is the fact the first finger he inserts in her feels midly uncomfortable or the pain of being penetrated for the first time. Her little thoughts like "it couldn't possibly fit' made me giggle but they were also so realistic. I really loved it. This was really an intense and passionate sex scene -- and also so important for Nina. A threshold has been crossed and these two are going to be inseparable <3

"that was what Nina had been warned about all her life. That was the sin she had been taught she should avoid at all costs, the sin that would bring shame and ignominy upon her and all her family." -> I think this was one of my favorite liens of this chapter. The word are so simple but heavy with meaning and importance. It echoes to Nina's deepest core, here fears and education. It also felt so true to the thought of a girl discovering the joy of se in a first love/safe context. Gosh I just wanted to pat her shoulder and smile at her proudly.

Also can we talk about Tommy cleaning her afterwards? What a gentleman.

I loved it Reb, so happy to get back to one of my favorite work ever written.

Heart, Body and Soul || Tommy Shelby x OC

CHAPTER 9

Summary: Tommy learns something more about Nina as she opens up to him about her past. Unable to ignore the feelings they have for each other any longer, they reach a point of no return.

Warnings: mentions of arranged marriage, slow-burn, small age-gap (Tommy’s 30, Nina is in her early 20s), time-typical misogyny, references to past attempted assault, harassment, violence, no proofreading, English is not my first language. This is set between season 1 and 2. This chapter is 18+, smut (it’s a spoiler but I need to say it). This is my first attempt ever at smut cause it isn’t my cup of tea, so it might not be that good. Also I didn’t want it to be just porn but I wanted it to be ✨functional✨ to the story and tell something, so I hope I did that.

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

SERIES MASTERLIST

Gif credits

Dividers credits

Nina muttered a few curses under her breath as her elbow accidentally hit the bottle of milk standing on the table, spilling its content everywhere. She hastily grabbed some rugs, trying her best to contain the damage. Maybe deciding to bake so late at night hadn’t been her best idea. But she needed to keep herself busy or she would’ve lost her mind, because apparently sleeping was no longer an option for her.

She couldn’t sleep without having nightmares anymore, and all of them involved the same person. Stefano. Sometimes he had her pressed into the wall again, and no matter how hard she screamed, no one would come save her. Sometimes he was standing in her father’s study, arranging their marriage as if she weren’t there. Sometimes he was waiting for her at the end of the aisle, with a grin on his face and a glimpse of victory in his eyes. And every time she woke up feeling his weight on her again, and his breath on her face, and his hands up her legs. She told herself she was being dramatic, that she should’ve been glad nothing had actually happened and forget about it, but the feeling of disgust that had been pervading her since that fateful morning just wouldn’t go away.

What her father had said during the lunch had been the last straw. All that talk about leaving her free to make her own choice was nothing more than empty words, a way of keeping her sweet until he managed to persuade her. And she was scared, because she knew that if he made that decision for her, she wouldn’t have a say in the matter. Because the alternative would’ve been a break with the Spinietta family, and that was something they couldn’t afford.

She missed her nightly talks with Tommy. For almost a month, he had managed to take her mind off all the ugly things that were happening in her life. Talking came easy with him. She didn’t know how else to explain it except to say that they seemed to understand each other. It was surprising, to say the least. Sure, there were parts of him that stayed a mystery to her, and parts of her that she still couldn’t let show, but they felt more like something to discover rather than an obstacle. Still, that meant nothing. Those parts were not hers to discover, and he wasn’t supposed to get any closer to her than he had already done. So they had pushed each other away, and reduced their interactions to the bare minimum. But that didn’t make it any easier. She missed him, despite her attempts to keep him out of her head, and now that they didn’t talk anymore it was as if she was on her own again, trapped into a world that spoke a whole different language.

However, Nina wasn’t the only one who felt the weight of that distance. She was the one person who had made Tommy’s stay in Italy somewhat bearable, and her detachment had left him feeling… hollow.

It had also brought him back to the reality of his situation, though. There was a war going on on more than one side, and he needed to do what was necessary for him and his family. He was walking on a thin line that became more precarious the more he waited. He had two days left to propose, or else the deal would be off, and God knew what would happen then. The most absurd part of it all was that what rationally should’ve been his major concern was overshadowed by something else entirely. He was scared of what would happen to Nina once he’d be back in Birmingham with Agnese on his arm. He didn’t know what was exactly going on with Spinietta, but if there was one thing he had learned, it was that when a man there decided he wanted something, he’d take it, one way or another.

If he could’ve been sure it wouldn’t have started yet another war, Tommy would’ve taken his eyes days ago. And when It didn’t matter how much he told himself that it was the injustice that made him furious, deep down he was aware it wasn’t true. The truth was he cared about Nina. He cared about her in a way he wasn’t supposed to. He had no idea how it had happened, but she had managed to make her way into his heart with steps so light he didn’t even realise it until it was too late. And now thoughts of her filled his mind night and day.

He didn’t think he’d ever feel like that about someone again, after Grace. Grace had been the first person he had opened up to in a long time, he had allowed her to see those parts of himself he never let show, and he had realised there was still a small light inside of him, a sparkle that had survived the storm brought by the war. And he had thought that maybe there was still hope for him. When she betrayed him, the darkness engulfed him again, and any shred of hope he had left faded into dust. But just like a match, Nina had made that sparkle burst into a flame, showing him that it had never been extinguished in the first place. It overwhelmed him how much he wanted her. He could feel her in his bones, in his veins.

It would’ve been a lie to say that the thought of talking to her father hadn’t crossed his mind. But Nina was not something he could take for himself. He couldn’t rob her of her freedom. Even he wasn’t that bad. He could only be content with the little time he had with her, and carry it with him when everything would be over. Maybe that was the reason why he walked out of his room that night, in the hope that she’d be in the kitchen, making herself her terrible tea.

And there she was, except that - much to Tommy’s confusion- she wasn’t making tea. She was surrounded by bowls and pans, and there was flour spilled all over the table. Apparently unaware that she was no longer alone, she kept on stirring the batter with a whisk, with an aggressiveness that gave away her inner turmoil.

“What are you doing?” He caught her attention, earning himself a brief glance before she shifted her eyes back on her work.

“Baking,” she replied, her imperturbable expression clashing with her snappish motions.

Tommy frowned, walking further into the room. “It’s three in the morning, Nina.”

“I couldn’t sleep.”

Nina’s statement made him cock an eyebrow in disbelief. It didn’t take a genius to guess that she wasn’t baking in the middle of the night because she craved some sweet treat, and her short answers and dismissive behaviour were all Tommy needed to understand that there was, in fact, something going on in that mind of hers.

Slowly, as one would do with a wounded animal, he approached her, and he could’ve sworn her breath had hitched in her throat. “Are you alright?” He asked, coming to a stop next to her.

Her movements ceased, and her hand clenched around the whisk before she let it go. She swallowed, keeping her gaze on the table, and Tommy wondered whether that reaction was due to the question or their proximity.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” She recollected herself, sending him a sideward look.

Tommy knew better than to push her. Insisting would only cause her to shut down even more, and that was the last thing he wanted. So he pretended to believe her, and took a seat at the table without another word.

Silence fell in the room as Nina resumed mixing the ingredients, and a new feeling began to rise up inside her. It had been a while since they had spent some time alone, and she had started to surrender to the fact that it would never happen again. Yet, there they were. She would’ve liked to say that it was as if they had never been apart, but in truth it was different, now that she wasn’t lying to herself anymore. With the acknowledgment of her feelings, came the awareness that whatever was going on between them wasn’t destined to last, that the end was near, and that every moment they spent together could’ve been the last. And it didn’t feel right.

She had never felt that way about anyone. She didn’t even know she could be capable of it until she met him. He had made her question everything, even herself, and she despised him for it. She despised him for making all her certainties crumble, for taking everything she had ever known and turning it into an undefined mass of doubts, for making her feel things she was sure she could never feel for anyone else.

Nina could feel Tommy’s eyes on her has she put the chocolate cake in the oven, and that alone made her hands shake. Against all logic, his gaze on her was something she both craved and escaped, it made her feel uncovered and… seen. She wasn’t used to being seen.

Closing the oven, she pushed those thoughts away. There was no point in torturing herself over what could not be changed. She checked the time on clock on the wall. Forty minutes.

“I have to clean this mess,” she murmured, more to herself than to Tommy. One look at the disaster around her, and she already regretted her decision. She inhaled deeply as the thunderstorm of emotions she was trying so hard to contain threatened to slip out of her control, but soon tears welled up in her eyes. She turned her head away so that Tommy wouldn’t see them, but it was too late.

“Oi,” he furrowed his eyebrows, getting up from the chair. “What’s wrong, eh?”

Many things were wrong. Her family, Stefano, that. Whatever that was. “I have to clean this mess,” she repeated, her voice cracking.

“It’s alright, I’ll help you,” he said reassuringly, taking a few steps towards her, worry painted all over his face.

Nina shook her head, crossing her arms over her chest. “No, no I can do it. It’s…” she trailed off, the knot in her throat making it difficult to even speak.

Tommy’s heart painfully squeezed in his chest. It was overwhelming, to see the suffering she hid behind her mask of fierceness and wit. It was never about the tiredness, or the lack of sleep, or the fucking dishes. She had things eating at her from the inside. Just like him.

“C’mere,” he gently brought his hands to her face, forcing her to look at him. A few tears fell from her eyes, then others followed, like incessant stream that could no longer be held back. “It’s alright,” he said softly, wiping them away. “It’s alright.”

Nina closed her eyes, letting herself be soothed by Tommy’s deep voice and the tender touch of his rough hands on her skin. His fingers traveled through her soft hair, brushing it away from her tear-stained cheeks, before resting on the sides of her face again. “This pain that you have,” he whispered, “share it with me.”

She brought her hands above his, looking up at him through her lashes. Her thumbs faintly stroked his skin, and he could read a hint of hesitation in her features. But when she guided his hands off her face and took a step back, he was certain that she had closed off again, leaving him outside of her mind.

As though nothing had happened, she started to clean up, and Tommy with her, despite her protests. For a while, the clinking of pots and the rush of water were the only noises that broke the stillness of the kitchen. Then, unexpectedly, Nina started to speak.

“It has been going on since I was fourteen,” she said, scrubbing a bowl. Tommy stayed silent, afraid that she’d change her mind if he even made a sound.

“I was in the..” she broke off, looking for the right word. “…ginnasio. I don’t know what it’s called in English. It’s after elementary school,” she explained. “Girls stop at elementary school, they don’t get a higher education. It’s not like it’s forbidden, but it’s just how things are. So as you can imagine, it caused quite the scandal.”

Tommy grabbed a towel, drying the utensils that Nina washed as he listened.

“It caught Stefano’s attention. He studied at the liceo, which is after the ginnasio. He always came to talk to me, asked me questions. My brothers had already finished school at the time, so he was free to approach me without anyone saying anything.” She paused, taking her time to properly clean the whisk. “It didn’t bother me, at first,” she admitted, and Tommy caught a trace of shame in her tone. “He was good looking, a bit older, and he was fairly nice to me. Most girls in the village were in love with him and his brother. I had no idea about what they did.” She handed him a spoon, keeping her gaze on the sink. “Then one day I saw them beating a man half to death in his own shop cause he hadn’t paid for protection. I didn’t even know what protection was,” a laugh escaped her lips, but there was no humour in it. “I have my way of finding out stuff, and people talk, words spread. And once I learned who he was, I decided that I didn’t want anything to do with him. I thought I just had to be patient, cause he was on his last year of school. He asked me to be his girlfriend, on the last day before summer break, and I said no. I thought he’d leave me alone after that,” her voice lowered. “He didn’t. Even when he finished school, he’d always find the way to come to me, to talk to me. He became insistent, he thought I was being difficult, that I was saying no because I didn’t want to say yes right away.”

Fucking bastard, Tommy thought.

“The more time passed, the more I saw, and learned,” Nina continued, her eyes darkening at some distant memory. “And I found out Stefano and his brother had a habit of dragging girls into their car. I didn’t know what it was that they did to them, back then. But it was scary. I stole my brother’s pocket knife, just in case, and always took it with me.”

Tommy almost felt sick. It was even worse than he had imagined. It had been going on for years, ever since she was a little more than a child. Years, and she had never said anything. A question burned on the tip of his tongue, a question whose answer he feared, but that he needed to ask nonetheless. For the first time since she had started telling the whole story, he spoke. “Did you… did you ever need to use it?”

She fell silent, and for a moment he thought he had screwed up. But then she nodded. “Yes.”

His stomach dropped at her revelation, and he stopped what he was doing to take a look at her. He could read the effort she was making to talk about that on her face.

“I was buying groceries with Agnese, and she had stopped in a shop. He came to me while I was waiting for her, tried to convince me to go with him in his car. I pointed that knife at his throat the moment he tried to grab me.” Her voice had hardened, her eyes burning with the determination he had witnessed so many times. “That scar he has, it’s because of me.”

Tommy exhaled the breath he hadn’t even noticed he was holding. Although enraged, he was relieved that Nina didn’t share the destiny of those girls before her, that she had been able to hold her own. Something really close to pride swelled in his chest.

“Unfortunately, it didn’t make him stop. If anything, it made him worse. The fact that our families do business together didn’t help. Soon he was everywhere. At church, outside my school, he even helped my mum with the groceries. I only had some rest when the war came. His father sent him and his brother to their relatives in New York, so that they wouldn’t fight. I hoped he’d stay there, but he came back. And he started again.”

Having finished to wash the utensils, Nina began to put them back in their place. “Recently, he went to speak with my father. He wants to marry me. That was why he was invited here for lunch.”

Tommy felt the blood freeze in his veins. He had imagined the nature of Stefano’s visits to the Ferrante house, but knowing it for sure was an entirely different thing. The thought of Nina being married to that fucker made him sick to his stomach. “What you just said to me,” he said, “tell your family. They’ll understand.”

Nina shook her head, the shadow of a sad smile growing on her face. “I tried.”

She kept herself busy with the last things that needed tidying up, the topic clearly being a raw nerve. “The first time Stefano followed me home from school I went to my father,” she elaborated, wiping the table. “He asked me if I had, perhaps, done something to… encourage that behaviour. To make him believe that I wanted that kind of attention.”

She finally put down the rag, then she went to wash her hands, dismissing the subject as if it was nothing. But that wasn’t nothing. That was a lot, and she didn’t deserve it. It was no wonder she always acted as if it was just her against the whole world. She had to protect herself for years.

“I’m sorry,” Tommy said truthfully. It was the only sentence he could muster up. What could he possibly say, after what she had told him?

Yet, those words had an effect on Nina. All that time, she had felt like it was somehow her fault, or something she had to get over. But that short sentence, said with so much sincerity, carried a meaning of its own. I’m sorry that happened to you. It was the recognition that something had indeed happened, and that it wasn’t something she had done, but something had been done to her. Maybe she was overthinking that, maybe he had only said the first thing that came to his mind, but she needed to hear it.

After that, she let the conversation drop. She would’ve probably regretted sharing that much in the morning, but for the moment she felt lighter. The burden that had weighed down on her shoulders for so long wasn’t as heavy, now that she wasn’t carrying it alone. And even if it lasted just for one night, even if that weight came crashing down on her again the next day, it was enough.

Ten minutes later or so, she took the cake out of the oven, then covered it with a clean tea towel. It would’ve been fun to explain to her mother where it came from. “It’s late,” she murmured, glancing at Tommy. He was leaning against the table, an indecipherable look on his face. Her gaze was captured by the way the muscles of his shoulders showed through his undershirt, then lingered on his forearms, exposed by his rolled-up sleeves. A warm flush crept up her cheeks, and she found herself taken aback by her own thoughts. She really needed to sleep. And Tommy, who she had kept up with her. A sense of guilt pervaded her. Things weren’t easy for him either, and he needed to rest as well. She cleared her throat, hesitantly getting closer to him. “Thank you,” she whispered, resting her hand on his arm. “For staying.”

Tommy turned to look at her, his body stiffening. That contact was enough to send a chill down his spine. Only the thin material of his undershirt was separating his skin from her fingers, yet her touch burned, awakening all the sensations he had been trying to keep at bay. She was beautiful, and mere inches away from him, and her scent was making his head spin. His eyes drifted to her lips. He still remembered how they tasted, and that only added to his yearning. As though it didn’t belong to him anymore, his hand moved to delicately stroke her cheek, the roughness of his knuckles contrasting with the softness of her skin. Her eyelids fluttered closed as she almost involuntarily leaned closer. With a burning desire clouding his judgment, Tommy tentatively pressed his mouth on hers, testing the waters. When her lips started to move against his, his hand went to cup the back of her head, deepening the kiss. It was different than the first time, when his eagerness was so intense that he couldn’t bring himself to be gentle. He kissed her slowly, delicately, as if she might break in his hands.

Nina did feel like she could break at any moment. Vulnerable, exposed. And the craziest part was that she didn’t mind, not even a bit. Because she felt safe, in his arms. However, once again, reality set over her like a dark mist. She slightly moved away, shaking her head. “We can’t do this, Tommy,” she whispered.

He nodded, closing his eyes shut. They were still close enough for their noses to brush, and the tried to imprint that feeling in his mind, in his soul. “I know,” he rasped.

Neither of them moved for a while. Neither of them wanted to. They had been restraining themselves for so long. But it was too late. Inhaling sharply, Tommy took a step back, and a feeling of coldness engulfed both of them.

Nina paced back and forth in her room, fragments of what had happened less than ten minutes ago in the kitchen playing in her head again and again. It felt as if she had reached a point of no return. She couldn’t lie to herself anymore. She couldn’t go against herself anymore. She wanted him. It didn’t matter how much she tried to convince herself that she didn’t, that she should step aside before it became serious, that she’d forget about him anyway. None of it was true. She had tried so hard to put an end to that, to push him away, but she hadn’t been able to. She felt selfish, and cruel, and a traitor for that. And the worst thing was she didn’t care. In that moment, she didn’t care at all. She wanted to be selfish. She wanted to be cruel. She wanted to be a traitor. For once, she didn’t want to think about anyone but herself.

Fuck it, she thought. She walked out of her room, her pulse racing. It wasn’t fear, she wasn’t scared of being caught. With her parents’ chamber being in the other corridor and her brothers being away on business, no one would see her entering Tommy’s room. It was the anticipation for something she couldn’t quite put her finger on. She stopped in front of the door, pondering whether to knock, just open it, or simply leave, feeling her courage already slip away from her. What if he didn’t want to see her? What if he was already asleep?

Determined not to let the whirlwind of thoughts and panic scare her out of it, she brought her fist to the wooden surface. The seconds stretched into an eternity as she waited, nervously fidgeting with her fingers, and when the sound of his footsteps came to her ears, she thought her heart could jump right out of her chest. Tommy opened the door, confusion painted across his features, but before he could say anything, Nina pulled him in and crashed her lips against his. It didn’t take much for him to recover from the surprise and wrap a strong arm around her waist, pulling her inside as he closed the door with his free hand. She found herself trapped against the hard surface, enveloped by the warmth radiating from him as their bodies pressed together. Her hands slid behind his neck, bringing him impossibly closer, eager to feel more. The feeling of his strong frame all over her made her knees buckle, and she was pretty sure she would’ve ended up on the floor hadn’t he been holding her. His smell, which had become now so familiar to her - a mixture of soap and cigarette smoke, with a hint of whiskey-, invaded her nostrils, making her head spin.

His hands roamed down her body, covered by the cotton nightgown. He gripped at the soft material, feeling the last shred of his self control drift away from him. It was too much. She was too much. God knew how much he wanted her, but he didn’t want her to do something she was going to regret. Once they had crossed that line, they couldn’t go back. “Nina,” he groaned, breaking away from her. “We have to stop now. I have to stop now.”

“Don’t.”

In the dim light of the room, Tommy examined her expression, only to see there was not a trace of doubt in her eyes. He gulped, gently stroking her cheek. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

He leaned with his forehead against hers, rubbing his thumb on the skin of her jaw. “Tell me to stop and I’ll stop,” he husked. “At any moment.”

She nodded, but when he leaned in to kiss her again, she put her hands on his chest. “Wait,” she blurted out, causing him to take a step back. “I’ve never…” Nina didn’t finish her sentence, but she didn’t need to.

Shit. Tommy had imagined it, of course, he was no fool, but having it confirmed… He shouldn’t. He really shouldn’t. But there was a part of him that didn’t care at all. The bad he couldn’t help.

“Do you want me to stop?”

Nina pondered her answer, the reality of the situation washing over her. Theoretically, she knew what to expect. Practically, it was a whole different thing. And she knew that if she said yes, she’d be ruined. Still, she didn’t care. And she was hit by the overwhelming awareness that she’d let him do whatever he wanted to her. “No,” she breathed out.

She felt like she could melt right there when he raised her chin to capture her lips again. What started as a tender kiss became more heated, and soon he was basically devouring her, unable to restrain himself any longer.

Tommy had thought about that moment more than he’d ever admit, and now that she was actually there in his arms, it almost felt unreal. Yet she was there, and she was trusting him. And as he grabbed her waist to press her against him, he noticed his own hands were shaking.

Nina tilted her head as he started to leave a trail of kisses down her neck. A gasp escaped her lips when he reached a particularly sensitive spot, and an unfamiliar ache spread between her tighs, causing her to unconsciously rub them together. Her reaction didn’t go unnoticed, cause she felt his lips twisting in a grin against her skin. He moved down to her collarbones, then perilously close to her breasts. His fingers travelled up to the straps of her nightgown as he pulled back slightly, a silent question in his eyes. When she nodded, he slowly slid them down her shoulders, uncovering her inch after inch, until she was standing in front of him with nothing on but her knickers.

Her heart raced as she saw desire burning in Tommy’s eyes. Except it wasn’t just desire, or lust. There was something more, something she couldn’t read. No one had ever looked at her that way. With trembling hands, she shyly took ahold of the hem of his undershirt. Her fingers brushed against his skin as she raised it, leaving behind a trail of goosebumps and making his muscles twitch. Once the clothing was lying on the on the floor, she allowed herself to look at him, and explore him. She delicately traced the bullet scar on his shoulder, as if she might hurt him by pressing too hard, then the tattoo on his chest, then the lines of his abdomen, everything that told the story of his life. It was like watching a masterpiece. A torn, tainted masterpiece, but a masterpiece nonetheless.

Her hands reached his trousers, but she raised her gaze on him before unbuttoning them. A glimpse of something that looked a lot like surprise crossed his face, almost as though he wasn’t expecting her to ask. Then he gave her a single nod. After helping her remove them, he gently guided her towards the bed.

A mixture of edginess and anticipation took over Nina as Tommy positioned himself on top of her, one hand beside her head to support himself, the other ghosting over her breasts. She arched her back as he ran his thumb over one of her hardened nipples, the new, strange sensation becoming more and more pleasant as he fondled her flesh. He leaned down to pepper her chest with kisses, his lips warm and soft, then he trailed down to her stomach, her ribs, her belly. That new attention had her squirming under him, eliciting a deep chuckle from Tommy that caused her face to flush. His lips travelled up again to meet hers in a slow, sensual kiss that fogged her brain so much that she almost didn’t notice his hand making its way down to her most private parts. Breath hitched in her throat as he ran his fingers over her clothed sex.

“Do you trust me?” he asked her, his voice reverberating in her own chest. He raised his head to look at her, studying her expression.

Nina’s hand found its place on the back of his head, the short locks tickling her palm. She didn’t even need to think about her answer. One look at his face and she knew. She did trust him, with all her heart. She pulled him down to press a tender kiss on his mouth. “Yes,” she whispered.

Still close enough for their lips to brush, Tommy delicately rubbed his fingers over her heat, stimulating the area while allowing her to get used to the sensation of being touched. When his fingertip found her clit, she let out an involuntary gasp, her fingers tightening around the nape of his neck. He then pushed her knickers to the side, caressing the wet folds before stopping at her opening. Slowly, he inserted one of his digits, and she winced at the foreign, mildly uncomfortable feeling. Tommy stilled his movements, giving her the time to get adjusted.

“Is this alright?”

“Yes,” she breathed out.

He began to pump his finger in and out, careful not to go too deep just yet. Nina let out a ragged breath, pleasure building up inside her as she gradually got used to the feeling. His thumb rolled over her clit, the unexpected move eliciting a whimper out of her. Her breathing became more laboured as he added another finger, stretching her further.

Tommy took in the sight of her under him, eyes closed, swollen lips parted, her eyebrows slightly furrowed in a frown. God, she was beautiful. And she was his, even if just for one night. He moved faster and deeper, working her open until he felt it was enough. A whine of protest left her lips when he removed his fingers, and he smirked at the reaction. “Be patient,” he playfully scolded her, earning himself a glare.

He got rid her now inconvenient last piece of clothing, then took off his briefs. Nina couldn’t help but let her gaze wander to the newly exposed part, and a wave of concern overcame her. It couldn’t possibly fit.

Tommy gently parted her legs more to settle between them and hovered above her again, but he must’ve read the apprehension on her face. “Do you want to stop?” he murmured, running his knuckles over her cheek.

His attentiveness warmed Nina’s heart, dissolving any fear she had. She was safe with him. He wouldn’t hurt her. “No,” she shook her head.

He cradled her head in one of his hands and leaned in to place a sweet kiss on her forehead, then lined himself up with her entrance. Nina braced herself for what was to come, her fingers ghosting over his shoulders in a soothing motion. Tommy inserted his tip, and she couldn’t hold back a stifled gasp at the intrusion. He stood still for a moment, reassuringly rubbing her waist with a hand, then pushed a bit further inside her tight slit. Nina squeezed her eyes shut, the burning sensation almost unbearable.

“You alright?” he asked, the effort he was making to restrain himself showing through the rasp of his voice. Her velvety walls were squeezing him in the most delightful way, and it took all his self-control to stop there.

She nodded, silently giving him the permission to go on. Pain and pleasure mixed as he carefully worked his way past her resistance, until he was buried deep inside of her. He stilled again, giving her the time to adjust to his size. That feeling of fullness took her breath away, it was intoxicating. He was intoxicating. She pulled him impossibly close, eager to feel every inch of his skin on her skin, to melt into him until she could no longer tell where she started and he ended. A low groan reverberated into her ear as she pushed her hips up against his, encouraging him to move. Tommy started rolling his hips, setting a slow, sensual pace that allowed both of them to feel everything with the outmost depth. His lips claimed hers in a searing kiss, stifling the moans that threatened to escape them. Nina’s hands went to cup his face, the softness of his lips enough to distract her from the last shreds of pain and help her relax, thus allowing him to go even deeper. His teeth grazed her bottom lip, further igniting the fire inside of her.

So that was what Nina had been warned about all her life. That was the sin she had been taught she should avoid at all costs, the sin that would bring shame and ignominy upon her and all her family. And she was surprised to find out that it didn’t feel like a sin. It didn’t feel wrong. How could there be shame in that, when it felt so right? How could there be shame in being in the arms of someone she cared so deeply about, who made her feel so safe? Where was the shame?

Tommy’s hands rested on the back her thighs, fingers squeezing the flesh as he felt her tightening around him. He wanted to take it slow, to savour that moment, but it was getting harder and harder as her warmth, her scent, her shaky breaths clouded his senses. It felt like being in a bubble. Nothing else mattered, nothing else was real. Time had stopped for them to exist in that moment.

Nina hid her face in the crook of his neck as he quickened his pace, feeling her muscles tightening in her lower stomach. Tommy guided her to wrap her legs around him, the new angle making her see stars. His thrusts became more erratic, more frantic, causing that strange feeling in her abdomen to become even stronger. “Tommy,” she whimpered, overwhelmed by that vortex of sensations.

“Let it happen, love,” he whispered in her ear, his length twitching at the way his name sounded on her lips.

With a few more thrusts, he pushed her over the edge, and she had to press her mouth over his shoulder to silence the sounds she couldn’t hold back anymore. It didn’t take long for Tommy to follow her, his hips jerking as he spilled himself inside of her.

The world stood still as they stayed in each other’s embrace, Tommy’s cheek brushing against hers. He buried his nose in her dark hair, inhaling her lavender scent. For once, his head was silent. No nagging thoughts, no shovels against the wall. Just peace.

Nina gently stroked the back of his head, breathing deeply as her heart slowed down to a normal rate. Fuck, she had never felt anything like that. It had been… intense. And it had tied her to him more than she could’ve ever imagined. It was scary, to be so connected to someone. To feel someone that much. That was the right expression. She felt him. As if he were part of herself. As if there had been an empty spot inside her soul, and she had lived with it all her life, only to find that it was him the missing piece.

A sudden blast of cold hit her when Tommy got up, depriving her of his warmth and weight. She watched in confusion as he disappeared in his private bathroom, wondering whether something had happened. She sat up on the bed, bringing her knees to her chest. Had she done something wrong?

However, she didn’t need to worry for long, cause soon Tommy walked back into the room, with his private parts now covered by a pair of briefs and a fresh towel in his hand. Without saying a word, he climbed back on the bed, smiling softly at the puzzled look on her face. Slightly embarrassed now that the disinhibition brought by the feverish state they had previously been in had faded, she felt her cheeks grow hot when he gently spread her legs apart. He delicately ran the towel over her sensitive skin, cleaning her up from the sticky mess between her legs, his eyebrows knitted in a concentrated frown. Once again, his attentiveness made her heart skip a bit, and she was amazed by how easy it was to let him take care of her. She never let anybody take care of her.

As Tommy discarded the towel somewhere on the floor, Nina’s attention was caught by the blood stain on the white top sheet. Shit. She got up to remove it from the bed, doing her best to ignore what she’d prefer would stay tomorrow’s problem. “I’ll have to take care of it in the morning,” she murmured.

Tommy laid on the bed again, then reached for the cigarettes on his nightstand to light one. He watched her as she looked for her nightgown among the mess of clothes on the floor, naked, with only her long, ruffled hair to cover her a little. She was quite the sight.

Much to his dismay, she soon found what she was looking for, and covered herself. He exhaled a cloud of smoke, motioning for her to get back in bed, having had enough of having her away from him. “C’mere.”

Nina gladly took her place back next to him, resting with her head on his chest as he draped an arm over her shoulders. She could’ve stayed there forever. But she knew that it wouldn’t be long before the sun made its appearance on the horizon.

They stayed in silence as Tommy smoked his cigarette, his fingertips mindlessly grazing her arm. He didn’t want to think about tomorrow, or about what would happen next. He wanted to stay in that moment while he still could, because he knew he wouldn’t get it back. That thought stung. But he was aware they needed to have that conversation. This time they couldn’t just pretend nothing had happened, and the sooner they talked, the sooner they would clear things out.

“Nina,” he whispered, but no reaction came from her. She had fallen asleep.

Tommy stubbed his cigarette in the ashtray, then turned the small lamp off. He didn’t have the heart to wake her up.

They would think about it tomorrow.

NEXT CHAPTER

Heart, Body and Soul tag list:

@zablife @queenofshinigamis @raincoffeeandfandoms / @justrainandcoffee @call-sign-shark

@kmc1989 @babayaga67 @kmhappybunny240 @diorrfairy @mariaelizabeth21-blog1

@gaslysainz @brummiereader @loverhymeswith @fairypitou @prettywhenicry4

@mysticalbouquetwolf-posts @woofgocows @girlwith-thepearlearring @goblinjnr @outlanderuniverse

@citylights31 @neonpurplestars89-blog @outlanderuniverse @red-riding-wood @evita-shelby

@look-at-the-soul @gathania93

General tag list:

@iamngoclinh08 @lilywinchesterlove @fandom-puff @capitanostella @caelys

@lucillethings @peakyxtommy @queenofkings1212 @lyarr24 @kmc1989

@call-sign-shark @ce1iat @red-riding-wood @optimisticsandwichgladiator

#Nina Ferrante #Heart Body and Soul

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cocodotgreen · 22 hours ago

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100 followers celebratory build:

Simynthos Festival Grounds

When I reached 100 followers back in November I promised you guys I would build something special. And what better way to celebrate than to build some festival grounds for Simynthos?! It was not an easy build, though, and playtesting festival grounds is a bit of a pain. This took a while to finish… But it's finally ready to be shared, yay!

Due to the small size of the lot it was not possible to place all the intended objects for the different festivals. I had to get creative to find activities for the sims to do instead! The festivals on Simynthos will therefor be a little different from your usual festivals. I placed more information on the different festivals at the end of the post. If you want to be surprised in game, do not read that section and do not look too closely at the screenshots 😉 This is also the reason there are only four screenshots up top. They would have given too much away! Don't scroll below the Download link if you do not want to see more screenshot before playing the lot!

Unfix-able issues and things to know (This section contains a few spoilers! I'm sorry for that, it could not be avoided…):

Sims can sometimes get stuck on the stairs and end up in the room underneath. That's why I added a door there so they can leave.

The homeless sims who tend the registers at the winter festival stay over night in front of the lot. I assume it's because there are no apartments or roads on the island. Due to being outside so long in winter they will turn blue/frozen, but they will thaw each other out with a blow dryer 🤣

The vendors at the winter festival will leave their posts most of the time, but will return as soon as you start buying.

Some of the functional objects have been placed with the "moveobjects on"-cheat in order to make it possible for sims to interact with them in such a thight space! So be very careful when you do any alterations! From the top of my head these objects would be non-functional when moved: Mistletoe, Barista Bar, Nectar Racks.

I used @omedapixels S3DT (Sims 3 Decorator Tool) to decorate the winter festival market stands. You do NOT need the mod for the items to stay in place, as long as you don't move them when redecorating. Then they may slip back into normal mode and you will only be able to place them back with the mod. But it's only in a couple of places, so even if that happens, it will not have a significant impact on your game.

About the music on the lot:

Initially I intended to assign each festival a different music genre, but this wouldn't work for two reasons: First you can not assign different genres for different seasons, and second the genre would be set back to classic music when the lot is placed in in edit town mode anyway. But here are my recommendations of music genres for the different festivals:

Spring: French

Summer: Electronica

Fall: Songwriter

Winter: Unfortunately we do not have a holiday music genre in the game without mods. So if you're not using mods, just choose anything that seems most appropriate to you. But if you're open to using mods, there are several music replacement mods out there with seasonal music. I've been using the "Music to their ears"-mods by the creator Nasenfahrrad over on MTS in my game. The Winter Holiday genre can be found in part 2 (link).

Quickest way to change the music on any community lot:

Enter the cheat "testingcheatsenabled true"

Ctrl + Shift + Click on the ground anywhere on the lot

Select "Build On This Lot"

Ctrl + Shift + Click on the speaker

Select "Change To…"

Details:

This lot was build to be placed in Simynthos on the empty community lot near the beaches. Lot address: Ferry Way 2

Lot Size: 20 x 15

All Expansion Packs used except for Into the Future

No CC

No Store Content

Download Link (SimFileShare)

More information on the different festivals below

‼️ Spoiler Alert ‼️

Do not read any further if you want to be surprised by the festivals in game!

Spring: Festival of Hearts

Dance floor

Wedding Chapel

Claw Machine

Kissing Booths

Photo Booth

Festival Photo Booth (Spring)

Summer: Simynsonic - Island Beatz

DJ Booth

Dance floor

SimLife Goggles

Face Painting Booth

Ice Cone Machine

Arcade Machines

Juice Keg

Festival Photo Booth (Summer)

Fall: Arte Simynthos - Fine Arts Festival

Band Setup (Piano, Drums, Base, Guitar)

Dance floor

Sculpting Station

Easel

Drafting Table

Telescopes

Festival Photo Booth (Fall)

Winter: Merry Simynthos - Holiday Market

Mistletoe

Market stalls (Nectar, Toys/Comics, Elixirs, Books, Relics/Gems)

Barista Bar

Santa's Chair

Festival Photo Booth (Winter)

Thanks to the lovely models for these screenshots: Glenn Clover and Holden Wozny.

#sims 3 #simynthos #sims3 #ts3 #thesims3 #sims 3 cc #ts3cc #sims 3 festival grounds #sims 3 community lot #s3cc #sims3cc #sims 3 download #no cc build

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eldragon-x · 15 hours ago

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Gonna write out this idea that Silver inspired in me in a post because I'm not sure I'll get around to actually writing a fic for it and I just need more people to think about Mirabelle and Odile moments with me.

I've brought up before that it's kinda insane that Odile pulled out a spell that stopped Siffrin from looping back in time. Like whatever she used here is able to interact with Time Craft, which itself would normally kill the user.

So I think it's quite possible that she herself might suffer craft exhaustion as a result of this. Add on that the party had to run through the distorted House at night to catch up with Siffrin and that Odile isn't the most physically fit person at her age.

But maybe she pushes that aside. Siffrin was hit harder by Craft Sickness, everyone was concerned about him, the party decided to leave Dormont rather sooner than later for their sake, she can handle it.

But it does catch up to her soon enough after a long day of the party fighting their way through Sadnesses and making it to an Inn by the evening. She's tired, her body hurts, she feels ill, and she's bruised and dirty from the battles, not helped by her performance already dwindling since the party left Dormont.

So she's sitting on her bed, dizzy and aching, wishing she could take the opportunity to take a bath but feeling too weak to do so. It affects her to the point where Mirabelle can tell that she's not doing well and asks if she can help her in any way.

Odile admits at this point that maybe she didn't give herself enough rest since that day in Dormont and that she's frustrated because she can't do much at all right now. And now that she brought it up, she wonders if Mirabelle is alright, since she also performed a powerful spell that day.

Mira appreciates the concern, but assures Odile she's doing okay. The shield spell was complicated, but not so exhausting that she wouldn't have recovered over a good night's sleep. Moreso she feels rather guilty for not having checked up on Odile earlier.

All that being said, she offers to help Odile bathe. Being a healer and having spent a lot of time studying about anything in the House of Dormont, I imagine she has some degree of medical training and trusts herself to handle people.

Odile gets tense but weighting her options, decides it's probably the most logical step here and she'd rather Mira assists her than anyone else. It turns into a bit of a back and forth of them trying to assure each other that they don't have to if they're uncomfortable, but Odile wants to be practical and refresh herself, and Mirabelle can take the innitiative when she needs to and at worst will feel slightly awkward about helping someone she knows personally in such a vulnerable position.

Odile actually feels a lot more embarrassed about the whole situation because it's strange having to rely on someone notably younger than herself after essentially assigning herself as the Adult™️ of the party looking out for everyone else. But Mira doesn't hesitate, gets straight to the point, and after helping Odile settle, she stays to sit down next to the bathub in case Odile needs help reaching something or getting out, make sure she doesn't fall asleep and goes under, and tries to ease the tension for her by bringing up a book she's been reading.

Odile is surprised to hear that Mira's into horror literature but gets genuinely invested which helps her relax. Mira ends up convincing Odile to borrow one of her books and jokes that she will have to read through it while the party decides to stay at the inn for the following week so she can recover.

Odile's tempted to protest the suggestion that they should stop for over a week, just for her, but drops it. The party can take their time now, that the curse isn't threatening the country anymore. She supposes they also did promise to look out for each other, she just didn't think she'd need to rely on anyone else.

On Mira's insistence, Odile gets bed rest for the following days, with the rest of the party helping her get whatever she needs, while she picks up Mirabelle's book whenever she can.

#stars n time #mira tag #odile tag #isat #in stars and time

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eggcompany · 11 hours ago

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Gonna make a Zaundads AU Older Vander x Younger (trans) Silco sex club AU

NSFW below

Sex crazed horny monster Silco x Experienced and beloved Vander, like Silco has literally burned through everyone who could possibly fuck him. He's a size queen and just wants something huge and real, dildos are fine but he wants the real thing.

He's sitting on a bar stool, sipping on something bitter and dark, wearing just his boots, leather jacket, and a little pair of striped underwear. Felicia, one of the co-owners and bartenders, comes over and Silco complains that no ones big enough. That he just wants someone who won't hurt him and that's big. She's the one that sends Vander over.

Vander's so well known. He's huge, he was in bdsm magazines as a younger man, and he always makes sure there's plenty of blankets and snacks, always happy to lend a hand to make sure no one goes through a drop. He's been watching the dark haired little monster fucking people for weeks now. He's cute, he's got a certain kind of untamed wild look in his eyes.

Felicia sends him over to the boy who's sitting at the bar, cheek resting against his upturned palm, swirling his drink around with his straw. Silco's eyes go dinner plate wide when Vander approached him. Vander talks to him, asking him why he started coming to the club, what he's looking for, what he's done. Silco tells him, unashamed and proud of his experiences.

Soon Vander's taking him to a private room, settled Silco over his lap, the boy goes easily, letting his jacket fall to the floor. Vander barely gets a single finger into him and Silco's got a death grip on his pantleg, panting against it. Silco shivers and cries as he gets stretched out around two fingers, the deep need inside of him getting satiated on just fingers.

Vander doesn't even touch his clit, the throbbing thing going completely ignored. When he gets a third finger in Silco is crying out, legs twitching and kicking around the stretch. Soon enough he's crying out, body thrashing as his orgasm overcomes him, cum soaking Vander's hand all the way to his wrist.

Vander's praising him, the soft words flowing easily from him as he pulls the boy's panties back up over him, and sits him up in his lap. Silco automatically wraps his arms around Vander's neck, crying into his clothes chest.

"You're going to have to practice if you think you're gonna take me in that little thing." Vander said as he rubbed up and down Silco's back, comforting him as he shook.

"I d-don't take them in that hole." Silco said through shaky breaths as he tried to calm down. Vander didn't say anything, his cock giving a twitch in his pants at the idea of getting him fingers in that tight little ass next time.

Next time.

#egg_company #fanfic #smut tag #ao3 fanfic #fanfiction #young zaundads #zaundads #silco x vander #vander x silco #young silco #vander #silco #zaun dads

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cecesturn · 13 hours ago

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matt SFW abc

if you like this please lmk and i’ll do a NSFW one 🫧

Affection - How affectionate are they? How do they show affection? Do they do it often?

I feel like when you look at soft matt he’s just really cuddly with Nick and Chris and let’s honest soft matt is his true form even though he tries to act tough, I feel like he shows affection by like doing simple acts of service or just even being with his partner

Baby - Do they want a family?

he said it before that he’s wanted kids

Confession - How would they confess their love for their partner?

I feel like Matt would be a low-key player off kind of confession. I feel like he wouldn’t straight up tell you that he likes you. I feel like you would just give subtle hints until you understand or get the hints and then he will confess it.

Domestic - Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning and taking care of themselves?

I feel like he would settle down in his late 20s early 30s after the YouTube career is maybe over. And we know he does everyone’s laundry and we can tell he takes care of himself.

Ending - If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?

I feel like Matt would really struggle with this, but if it’s what he wants, then he will do it. He would just try and find the nicest easiest way possible to do it kind of let them down slowly.

Fight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

We’ve seen triplets fight and they give each other in seconds, but I feel like if it’s matt and a significant other I feel like he wouldn’t really be joking and he will obviously take it seriously I feel like it would also sit down after you both calm down and just talk about it instead of going to bed angry about it.

Gentle - How gentle are they with their partner?

It’s matt and that’s all I’m gonna say he’s just one of the most gentle people on the Earth and you can tell

Honesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

I feel like the only secret Matt would hide from his partner is a secrets at his brothers have told them but other than that I feel like he would tell you anything

Impression - What was their first impression of their future partner?

I have no clue what to do for this one, so I’m skipping it

Jealousy - How jealous do they get? What do they do when they're jealous?

oh, he definitely gets jealous low-key like if you’re talking to someone that he thinks is “ better looking than him” he would definitely be jealous but try play off as if he’s not I feel like it was just act cool and calm and collected but as soon as you notice, he just starts acting off

Kiss - How do they kiss? What's their favorite type of kiss?

Hear me out when I say this. forehead kisses. Matt just seems like the type to give forehead kiss. just like a soft gentle forehead kiss whenever wherever.

Love language - What's their love language?

I feel like a matts love language differs between gift giving, quality time and physical touch and throw a bit of acts of service in there. Like I can just imagine this man coming to your house one day with random gifts or doing like little things for you like that you didn’t wanna do or just want to spend quality time cuddling you watching TV or something.

Marriage - Do they want to get married?

we all know Matt said he didn’t want a wedding or he only wants a small wedding

Nicknames - What do they call their s/o?

I don’t know if this is just, I don’t fw pet names but can’t imagine any of the triplets apart from Chris their significant other pet names like the only one maybe for Matt would probably be baby

Open - When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?

I feel like Matt would have a hard time at first opening up. I feel like there would have to be a breaking point where something happens and he just kinda lets it all out and then after that he would just tell you anything and everything about his day or what happened or if he’s overthinking

Parents - What would they be like as a parent?

this man is a girl dad that don’t hear anything about it but apart from that, I feel like Matt would just be one of the best dads in the world like he would 100% be a soft parent

Quizzes - How much do they remember about their s/o? do they remember every detail, or do they let details slip their mind?)

he definitely remembers every detail like things that you even told him that the start of your relationship like the get to know sort of questions he will remember he just seems like the type of person remember every little detail about someone that is interested considering yesterday Chris said when Matt likes something he is locked in. I feel like he will know like every little detail about you and I feel like he would also know like how you’re feeling just by looking at you.

Remember - What is their favorite moment in your relationship?

I can’t do this one either

Security - How protective are they? how would they protect their s/o, and how would they like to be protected?

I feel like if you’re at a concert and like the pit or a party or something somewhere where it’s crowded and like people are pushing up against you I feel like Matt would just have his arm around it like keep you next to him

Thrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice up your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

Again, can’t do this one because I haven’t made like a best relationship to go off

Ugly - What would be some bad habits of theirs?

I don’t think there would be any bad relationship habit I think obviously the bad habits that Matt has would probably be biting his nails and not opening up in a relationship but they’re not really bad habits I don’t know

Value - How important is the relationship to them? What is it worth in comparison to other things in their life

this relationship would 100% be so important to matt it’s like his little getaway from Chris and Nick but also another person who can just be his complete self with. I don’t think it would be as important as Chris and Nick because obviously like a relationship will probably end but it will be one of the more important things

Wedding - what type of wedding would they want?

I feel like obviously he would want a small wedding if he has one with only like close family and friends like he wouldn’t have random influencers or like extended extended family I feel like he would only have like immediate family and it would probably 100% be in Massachusetts or in one of the forestry areas in Vermont

X - A random Fluff Headcanon.

Can’t do this one

Yearning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

I feel like Matt would bug Nick and Chris about missing his significant other like I feel like they wouldn’t have the end of it

ZZZ - How do they sleep? How does an s/o fit into their sleep habits?

I feel like Mr. Wrinkleton would to get his space taken but Matt would be okay with it. I feel like you guys were just cuddled to sleep and then drift off in the night like away from each other, but he would always somehow be touching you like whether his legs touching your hip or his hand is on your side. I feel like you would just be low-key clingy.

dividers by @bernardsbendystraws

#chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #nick sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #matthew bernard sturniolo #sturniolo x reader #sturniolo smut #matthew sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #matt stuniolo fanfic #bf matt #matt x reader #chris sturiolo fanfic #chris smut #abc #alphabet #sfw little blog

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azaharinflames · 2 days ago

Note

Curently 911 is filming episode 11 & 12, and Lou is working on another project. There's no way he's working on 9-1-1 at the same time. LA traffic alone wouldn't allow it.

I thought I have prepared my heart for the possibility of Bucktommy not going back together again. But a new affirmative sign like this still hurts me a little 😔.

Hi, Nonnie!

Listen, I get it. But in my honest opinion? Lou was never gonna come back in the first eps of 8b. We know 9&10 are mostly going to deal with Maddie’s kidnapping and Tim has teased the end of ep 10 changes everyone’s life. Now, you can choose to be a bit skeptical about that part. I know I am.

Either way, we know post ep 10 there is a time jump. My personal theory is that it won’t be a super big one, rather it will be a natural time jump (to make it so what happens in the series happens at the same time as we watch it), and the first couple eps will be to establish some SLs.

Personal theory? We will see the rebound for Buck that Tim teased. I do believe it won’t last more than a couple eps. And then we’ll probably have Buck exploring or trying to get to know himself better. Boring and overused, but if they go in any other direction I will be genuinely surprised.

If/when Tommy comes back… honestly I don’t think it’ll be any earlier than at least midway through 8b, if not in the last couple of eps or even in the last one. Mostly so the audience is hooked for the next season but also because it wouldn’t make sense to make the audience go through the bs of 806-808 if things were going to be fine a few eps later.

We have to remember Tommy is not a main. Most likely, if Buck and he manage to find each other again, it will be something to mostly happen off-season, imo. As in, we will have a cute reunion on screen, then the season will end, then (perhaps based on the reaction idk) we’ll start the next season (if we get one) already with them having worked through their issues.

I know the idea of it sucks a bit but hey. They had Tarlos say their ILYs off-season. So. I wouldn’t be too surprised lmao.

(Also if he does not come back for this season, I honestly think he will only come back if they need a HEA for Buck once the series ends and Lou is available for that. Because imho they are not finding a LI that works better than him any time soon)

As for Lou’s filming schedule, I wouldn’t put too much weight on it. Mostly because we don’t know it. We don’t know if he’s mostly done with the sketch show, or if he only has to shoot 3 days a week, or what. Nothing tells us shooting that and shooting 911 is something impossible to combine.

And I don’t want to pretend I know something will happen, or give anyone false hope. I’m the first person who truly expects nothing from this show anymore and who knows chances are we will be disappointed, because the show has shown us we can’t trust it. Just wanted to point out some things ;)

Anyway, my inbox is open for venting, ranting, and giving your opinions! Physical therapy has been kicking my ass this week but I’ll try to be more present (don’t tear your meniscus, babes. I highly do not recommend)

Take care <3

#bucktommy #tevan #tommy kinard #lou ferrigno jr #anon ❣️

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wangxianficrecs · 3 days ago

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Follower Recs

~*~

Bruyères

by Cloud Flower (Anja_chan)

T, WIP, 11k, Wangxian & Hualian

Summary: “Child.” Hong'er looked up at the handsome stranger, if not a bit apprehensively. He nursed the flower for the god protectively, as if the stranger would snatch it. Not that he’d have any use for it. It was a weed, a wretched little thing, not befitting of the statue. Still, he wanted something to offer. “You want to protect him?” he says again, gesturing with his head towards the statue, his eyes never leaving Hong'er. His crimson red eyes. Hong'er nods resolutely. “Then you must be strong.”

~*~

🔒 Travel by Sword

by StarClearWaters (Readoutloud)

T, Series, WIP, 11k, Wangxian

Summary: When news comes back from Nightless City that Jiang Yanli is dead, killed during the massacre, they move her to the cells. She had appeared in Lotus Pier on the same day of the conference, The Jin are adamant she had been at the conference, and there had been several witnesses that saw her die- Their Sect Leader among them was said to have held his sister as she bled out.

~*~

Salvaging the Unsalvageable

by Maaeeya

T, 14k, Wangxian

Summary: A time travel fix-it. Mixes novel timeline with CQL Stygian Iron as it is a pretty convincing plot device. An older, calmer, wiser Wei Wuxian is dropped back into the past. He will use whatever means possible to save all those he cares for even if that means redeeming those who should not be given a chance and changing the entire timeline. Not much of a plot but a descriptive what-if. (Gist: Wei Wuxian reforms Wen Ruohan and civil servants his way to family, happiness, and life.)

~*~

together all along

by stellarmusings

G, 5k, Wangxian

Summary: Lan Zhan hesitates, looking between them. He feels utterly lost on the meaning of the conversation. "What… do you mean?" "The marriage," his uncle urges impatiently. "Do you have a date, yet? I suppose all of your distant cousins will want to attend, so you'd better have one soon." Oh. Oh, no. Lan Zhan takes a deep breath and puts his chopsticks down. This is going to be a long explanation. (or: five times in which people wrongly assumed Lan Zhan and Wei Ying were married, and one time they were finally right)

~*~

That Time Everyone Assumed the Yiling Patriarch was Ugly

by tinitin

M, 4k, Wangxian

Summary: Nobody really cared about the Yiling Patriarch once they discovered that an angel clad in black would head to their waterfall once night hit. (Or, people should really learn some shame, poor Wei Wuxian doesn't know what's going on, oh, and Wangxian gets together early!) --- Spanish Translation

~*~

(Please REBLOG as a signal boost for these hard-working authors if you like – or think others might like – these stories.)

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lyraa-kill · 2 days ago

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Sick and Twisted Bastard

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 l Chapter 5

Tags: Stalker Simon "Ghost" Riley, Trans John “Soap" MacTavish, Top Simon "Ghost" Riley, Bottom John "Soap" MacTavish, Dom Simon “Ghost" Riley, Sub John "Soap" MacTavish, Stalking, Consensual Non-Consent, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Masturbation, Vaginal Fingering, johnny can't make himself cum, Kidnapping, Knives, John is okay with Simon's stalking, John is a little freak too, Voyeurism, Hidden Cameras, Bondage, Vaginal Sex, Oral Sex, Cunnilingus, Spanking, Painplay, Internalized Transphobia, Self-Harm, Murder, They really match each others freak, Squirting and Vaginal Ejaculation, Biting, pussy slapping, Face Slapping, Blood, Choking

——

Johnny has been living with Simon for two weeks now, meaning the end of their combined three week leave is up. He tries not to think about it, but he can’t help but wonder what will happen. Is this whole thing temporary, will he be forced to go back on base and resume his job? He hopes not.

He’s proud of being Sergeant MacTavish. He fought tooth and nail to get out of his home and become the man he knew he should be, and made a damn good name for himself too. But it wasn’t him. He never wanted any of that, he only did it because he had no other options. He was forced to be someone he knew he wasn’t all over again. Sure, it was better because at least this time he was a man, but it still wasn’t him.

He knows what he wants now. He wants to be Johnny. He wants to have a small, quiet little cabin with Simon and spend his days doing what he chooses, not what he’s being commanded by a superior to do.

Now, his head lays on Simon’s lap as they cuddle on the couch, a movie playing on the TV. They’ve been doing a lot of that. Laying around, watching something. Occasionally taking breaks to eat or fuck. Johnny’s happy at finally being relaxed, but it’s getting quite boring.

He shifts his head to look up at Simon. “Can I ask you something?”

Simon runs his hands through Johnny’s Mohawk. “What is it baby?”

“We’re due to go back to base soon. What’s gonna happen when we don’t show up?”

Simon smiles down at him. “Don’t worry about it. No one will bother us to come back.”

“But-“ Johnny gets interrupted.

“I took care of it, Johnny.” Simon leans down and gives him a peck on the forehead. “No one will bother us. Just be good for me and don’t worry about it, yeah?”

Simon’s a bit nervous for when he eventually has to tell Johnny what he did. The man has always tried to minimize civilian casualties. He’s a protector of the innocent, and Simon had to kill and dismember two very innocent people to fake their deaths.

It was hard to find two people similar enough to their body shapes to kill. Even then, Simon had to behead them and cut off any body parts that would be a tell-sign that the bodies weren’t really them. He had to hack up the rest, leave their IDs at the scene and whatnot. He thinks he faked it pretty well, if he has to be honest. He’s seen his fair share of murder scenes in the past and tried to replicate it as best as he could, for both their sakes. Him and Johnny both would have either drowned in their own misery or been killed in combat if they stayed.

“Alright,” Johnny sighs, turning back over to look at the TV, “I trust you.”

Simon smiles and kisses Johnny’s hair. As he looks down at his perfect boy, he knows he doesn’t regret a thing he did. He can already see how they both are healing, becoming more themselves than they thought possible. Simon is less angry, less closed-off, finds himself wanting to be alone less and less. He discovered that he loves to laugh. He loves to be held and cuddled and treated softly and gently. He never knew that about himself, because no one had ever done it before. Now that he’s had a taste of it, he’s not sure how he ever lived without it.

That monster and creature, the Ghost, he had been forced to be is fading. It’s no longer clawing at his insides to escape; it’s asleep and quiet. Maybe the claw marks it left will always be there, but eventually it’ll be gone for good. All thanks to Johnny.

Johnny no longer cries every night. He did for a little bit, but Simon was there to help him through it. The scars on his legs are healing and fading away, no new ones have been added. Though, that’s because Simon locked away any sharp objects so Johnny couldn’t get to them. The only one that will be leaving marks on him is Simon.

They watch the TV for another half hour, both of them not really watching but focusing more on each other. Eventually, Johnny turns back around.

“I think I want to draw. Paint. I don’t know.”

Simon hums and smiles down at him. “Yeah?”

“Mhm. Always wanted to. I drew all the time when I was a kid. Got yelled at, so I hid it for a while. Couldn’t really do it while I was enlisted and whatnot. But… I’d like to now. I always really enjoyed it.”

“I can get you paper and pencils if you’d like, Johnny.”

Johnny nods. “I like writing too. I used to keep a journal on me before my dad found out about it and burnt it. I wanna do it again.”

“I can buy you a notebook too.”

Johnny nuzzles his face into Simon’s stomach. “You’d do that for me?”

“Of course. I want you to be happy, baby. And if that will make you happy, then I’ll gladly do it for you.”

Johnny smiles as he looks up at Simon. “What about you? What do you like?”

Simon cocks his head. “What do you mean?” The only thing he can remember ever being passionate about or wanting is Johnny. In fact, the only thing he can remember remotely liking is him.

“Is there anything you wanna do? Hobbies? Activities?”

“I think my favorite activity is you, love,” Simon teases, kissing Johnny’s forehead and making noises like he’s pretending to eat him.

Johnny laughs, pushes Simon away, then says, “I know that very well by now you insatiable fuck. But… I want you to be your own person too. I want you to be someone outside of me. I want… I want you to be Simon and me be Johnny, and be our own people while also being in love with each other.” Johnny cups Simon’s face. That perfect, devastatingly handsome face. “I wanna know Simon. I wanna know what you’re interested in, what makes you laugh, what your feelings are, what your thoughts are. I wanna know you. Not Ghost. Not whatever you’ve been told you should be.”

Simon tears up a little bit, but manages to hold him back. “I want that too,” he says, “just as long as Johnny can belong to Simon.”

“Of course,” Johnny says back, “As long as Simon can belong to Johnny too.”

Simon smiles and kisses Johnny, on the lips this time. “Of course.”

They lay there and kiss for a while, eventually Johnny finding his way into Simon’s lap so he doesn’t have to keep bending over. The kisses don’t feel sexual, like they’re going to lead to something else. They only say “I love you. I love you so much and I want to know you and be with you”.

Simon breaks the kiss apart. “I’m… I’m honestly not sure what I’m passionate about. I never had a hobby or interests growing up- I think. I can’t remember my childhood. It got tortured out of me along with most of my humanity. And afterwards, I was Ghost. The military didn’t need a guy that wanted to be a person and pursue what interested him, they needed a weapon. So that’s what I was. I don’t know how to be anything else.”

“Yes you do,” Johnny says lightly, his face mere centimeters from Simon’s.

Simon furrows his brows in confusion.

“You do know how to be something else other than Ghost. I’ve seen it. You love making stupid fucking dad jokes about the army. Every Tuesday at 5pm you find time to sit in the common area and watch that show you like. I always catch you whittling at pieces of wood when we’re camped out and waiting for an enemy.” Johnny strokes the side of Simon’s face. “Maybe you havent found yourself fully. But I think you will. And I think you’ve found more than you think.”

Simon softly smiles and nuzzles his face into Johnny’s hand. “Thank you.”

Johnny kisses him again, gently and passionately. Maybe it’s a bit of an oxymoron to want them to belong to each other and also be their own person, but it makes perfect sense inside their heads.

They break apart and smile into each other’s lips, laughing a little bit. Johnny peppers Simon’s face in kisses before saying “I’m so happy you love me back.”

Simon laughs and holds Johnny’s hands that are cupped over his face. “Why wouldn’t I? You’re perfect.”

Johnny kisses him one more time on his forehead before saying, “I was just scared. No one’s ever loved me before you. I would have little crushes on guys in school and they’d always reject me because they either wanted a girl or they wanted a real man. I was expecting you to react the same. I also… thought that you were out of my league a little bit.”

Simon kisses Johnny fiercely. “Never. I’ve only ever seen you for who you are, Johnny. You’re a brilliant, beautiful man. Doesn’t matter to me one bit what you got between your legs. I love you, so I’ll love whatever’s down there too.”

Simon can’t imagine a world where he doesn’t love Johnny, which makes it hard to understand Johnny’s old fears. Loving him feels as intrinsic to his being as, well… breathing. Blinking. His heart beating in his chest. He hadn’t thought of the idea of ending up with a transgender man, hell, he had only ever heard of trans women before he met the guy. But that hadn’t mattered to him. Johnny is a man, and Simon is in love with him. What parts he did or didn’t have didn’t change that fact.

Johnny’s heart skips a beat as Simon says those words. God, he’d been waiting to hear someone say that to him since he was 14 and got rejected for the first time. He’s laid awake at night dreaming about a man feeling that way towards him, until eventually he stopped dreaming and gave it a rest, declaring himself forever single.

Maybe he never really stopped dreaming.

“I love you too, Simon.” Johnny says, “And I haven’t said it yet, but by god you’re right bonnie too. When I woke up and saw you laying on me that first morning you took me here, the first thing I thought about was how gorgeous you are. You’re fucking devastating to look at.”

Simon is all smiles. He never thought he’d feel good about being called beautiful, but hearing Johnny‘s words makes his heart sing.

His face would be unappealing to most. He has a big nose with a bump in it, downturned eyes, and his lips are thin. Not to mention the scars that adorn his cheeks and chin, making him look like a mottled beast. But Johnny likes it, loves it even. Maybe he is beautiful after all. Maybe it doesn’t matter if everyone else thinks he’s ugly. Who cares if no one would want to see him on a magazine cover? Johnny loves the way he looks, and really, that’s all that matters to him.

“I remember when I first saw you on the tarmac after getting off the plane,” Simon stars, “it felt like all the tendons and fibers in my heart were attaching themselves to you. I think I made a plan that night to hack into the base’s security cameras so that I can keep an eye on you all the time. And I think a week later was when I went into your room to watch you sleep and steal your underwear.”

Johnny laughs. “You’re fucking crazy, you know that?”

Simon smiles. “Yeah. But I don’t think you mind it very much.”

“No, I really don’t.”

Simon grips onto Johnny’s hips as they start to kiss again, forcing him to grind down on him.

“Fuck-“ Simon grunts, “I can’t remember how many times I jacked off to pictures I took of you when you were in your room, the shower, on missions…”

Johnny laughs into his mouth. “I’d love to see those pictures sometime. I gotta make sure I look pretty.”

“You always look pretty.”

They go back to kissing, Johnny grinding his sore cunt down into Simon’s hardening package. He has no idea how two men in their thirties are able to fuck so many times a day, but for some reason he’s been insatiable, like his body hasn’t got the memo he’s not 16.

Simon deepens the kiss, deeply breathes in Johnny’s scent, then snaps and throws him onto the couch on his back. He climbs on top of him and covers his entire body with his own. He loves how much bigger he is than Johnny. It makes him feel like he can shield him from the entire world as long as he’s in his arms.

“Sure your cock ain’t broken yet?” Johnny teases, “You’ve gotta be shooting blanks after this morning.”

Simon growls and bites down on Johnny’s neck. “You cannot comprehend how much I need you all the fucking time. It’s not possible for me to go dry around you.”

Johnny gasps and digs his nails into Simon’s back through his shirt. “Your dick is gonna end up killing me, Si.”

“You can take it,” Simon says, “I’ll make sure you will.”

Johnny bites down on his lip as Simon starts to add more bite marks and hickeys to his neck, joining the ones left there from that morning.

“Yeah? Gonna fuck me till I can’t think?” Johnny breathes, “till I can’t walk or open my eyes? Don’t think you can.”

Hearing that, Simon wraps his hand around Johnny’s throat and squeezes, cutting off his air supply. Johnny’s hands fly to Simon’s wrist to try and take it off, but it’s a futile struggle. His legs kick, but they can’t move very much under Simon’s body.

“Not so cocky anymore, are ya Johnny?” Simon teases, his mouth curled into a wicked smile. “Can’t be such a little shit with my hand around this pretty throat of yours, huh?”

Johnny struggles to get out words as his vision starts to get a little fuzzy. Even though Simon is more than capable of killing him right now, he doesn’t think he’s ever been this turned on in his life.

Simon releases his grip, but keeps his hand on Johnny’s throat. Johnny gasps and huffs as his face starts to return to a normal color and his vision becomes clearer. He smiles.

“Do it again, Si.”

Simon slaps Johnny across the face as his hand slowly starts to squeeze again. “Who knew my boy was so dirty? Who knew John MacTavish was a little fucking slut that likes to be smacked and choked?”

Johnny smiles as his vision starts to fog up again. He wants to say, you knew. You knew I liked this and I needed you and that’s exactly why you’ve done all this.

Simon smacks Johnny across the face one more time before he takes his hand off his neck so he can take off his pants. Honestly, he doesn’t know why he bothered to bring clothes for either of them. They just seem to get in the way.

It’d be much better if Johnny was naked and on display for him all the time, like his little trophy.

“You think a little bit of choking and smacking is gonna do me in? I don’t think so,” Johnny laughs, trying to egg Simon on so he gets harsher, “You’re gonna have to try harder than that.”

Simon grunts and rips off Johnny’s boxer briefs, which are now soaked with his slick.

“I think these pants of yours tell a different story,” Simon grins, “How ‘bout I use them to shut your lying mouth up so your other pair of lips can tell me the truth, yeah?”

Simon shoves the underwear into Johnny’s mouth, the taste of himself flooding his taste buds. Fuck. He never thought being forced to taste himself would be such a turn on for him.

Simon shoves three fingers into Johnny’s hole, making him scream through the gag and grip onto the couch. He’s still pretty relaxed and loose after that morning, but taking three of Simon’s thick fingers with no warning still made his cunt burn and ache. He’s starting to fall in love with it.

Simon jackhammers away at Johnny’s cunt, his other hand wrapped nicely around his throat. He isn’t choking, just telling Johnny that he better behave, or else he knew what was coming. Although, the promise of being choked would probably make Johnny act up just so he could get it. There really is no way to punish his boy.

Well, actually, there’s one way.

Simon keeps abusing Johnny’s poor hole, until he sees the signs of his orgasm coming up. He stops just before the moment of climax, making Johnny writhe and buck his hips to try and chase his hand.

Johnny’s eyes widen. So they’re going to play this game again? That’s fine. He can take it, no problem. Edging really isn’t that big of a deal. Or at least that’s what he tells himself so he doesn’t have to admit to himself that his defeat is imminent.

Simon laughs. “Not so cocky and bratty now that you know I’m not gonna let you cum, huh?” Simon slowly strokes Johnny’s cock, making him twitch. “I’ll make you break, boy. You’ll be a mindless begging slut here soon.”

Johnny smiles through the gag and shakes his head.

Simon tears his hand from his throat and smacks him across the face, then backhands him, then puts his hand back where it was to choke him as hard as he can. Red prints in the shape of Simon’s hands are starting to bloom on his face. Simon loves seeing his marks on his boy, although a piece of him wishes they were more permanent. He’s sure there’s something he can do to satiate that craving.

Simon shoves his fingers back in, relishing in the way Johnny’s body twitches as he starts to fight for air. He loosens his grip on Johnny’s neck and lets him breathe as he really starts to pound away at him again. He doesn’t want to hurt him, after all. Just rough him up a little bit.

Just as Johnny reaches the edge again, Simon takes away his fingers. Johnny whines through the gag as his eyes start to water. Fuck, he really hates edging.

“Aww, are you ready to stop being a fucking brat, Johnny?” Simon coos, his voice demeaning.

Johnny thinks that Simon has to be a fool to think he’ll give in that easily. He shakes his head and spits the gag out. “In your dreams, Si.”

Simon sneers and quickly pushes Johnny onto the floor, grabbing his arms and pinning them to his back.

Deep down, Johnny knows he’s going to give in. He doesn’t even really want to be a brat or a little shit, he just likes when Simon gets rough with him, and being an ass is the best way to get it. He really could just ask, as he’s sure Simon would do anything to make him happy, but that’s not nearly as fun as watching him get angrier and get more violent with him because of it.

Simon spanks Johnny with as much force as he can give, which is a metric fuck ton. Johnny gasps and his back arches from the pain. Fuck. That felt like it’s going to bruise his goddamn bones.

“I know you want my cock. And you’re not gonna get it until you start apologizing and begging.” Simon spreads Johnny’s legs apart and cups his cunt with his hand, then smacks him as hard as he can.

Johnny yelps and releases noises he has no control over as Simon lays down more smacks to his throbbing pussy. His body is twitching and turning in ways he couldn’t stop if he tried, involuntarily trying to get away from the pain unleashed on his most sensitive area.

When Simon relents, Johnny is a twitchy mess with drool pouring out of his mouth. But he’s not completely mindless yet.

Simon shoves four fingers in, stretching Johnny as wide as he’s ever been. His cunt is gushing around the digits, trying to suck them in and keep them there so he can cum. As Simon fucks him with just one hand, the other raining down smacks to his ass before gripping onto his hair to pull his head back, Johnny’s tongue lolls out of his mouth and his eyes roll back into his head.

“Dirty fucking bitch,” Simon grunts, “should tie you up with a nice dildo and vibrator and leave you there for a few hours. That’ll teach you not to be a fucking brat.”

Johnny shakes his head and pushes his ass into the air.

“Want- want you Simon, please,” he says.

“Is that begging, Johnny?” Simon asks, taking his fingers out just before Johnny can cum, “Are you gonna be my good boy, then?”

Johnny nods. “Y-yes, good boy- good boy just f’you, fuuuuck.”

Simon smiles as he lovingly caresses down Johnny’s sides, admiring his bright red ass and dripping cunt.

“I know you are. You’re always my good boy,” Simon says, leaning down to kiss Johnny’s shoulder blade, “You just like when I get rough with you, yeah? Think you gotta be a brat to get it?”

“Mhm,” Johnny hums, incapable of speech.

Simon laughs. “I know, baby. I know you better than you know yourself.”

Johnny nods again, because he knows that fact is unquestionably true.

“You’ll get what you want. Gotta make my boy happy, afterall.”

Simon grabs his cock and lines it up with Johnny’s hole, and pushes it in with no resistance. He’s buried to the hilt in a matter of seconds, his fingers having done a good job to loosen his boy up.

Johnny whines as he’s filled up again, a dumb smile appearing on his face. Simon grabs his arms and pins them to his back again, his other hand grabbing Johnny’s hair and tugging his head back.

He starts to fuck into him, not bothering to be gentle at first. His boy can take any abuse Simon puts him through.

Johnny sees stars and the light of heaven as Simon pounds away at him, making the burning in his core dissipate and instead replacing it with the best pleasure he’s felt in his life. He can’t think, can’t speak, can only lay there and take it, let himself be used.

This is what he’s been needing his entire life. Someone to treat him softly, take care of him, treat him like the special and fragile thing he is, but also know when he needs to be beaten and fucked within an inch of his life.

“Look so pretty like this,” Simon grunts, “I love seeing you become my little plaything, baby. Love seeing you be my good little boy.”

Johnny nods as drool continues to dribble out of his mouth and down his chin. His body tenses as he start to cum, squirting all over Simon’s legs and the floor, but Simon doesn’t let up. He continued his brutal pace, sending Johnny into the waters of overstimulation and making him even more brainless than he was before.

Johnny cums twice more before Simon finishes for the first time, but Simon is just as insatiable as him, and once is not nearly enough. He has no idea how many times he’s climaxed when Simon relents. He doesn’t even know what his own name is or where he’s at.

Simon pants heavily as he pulls out of Johnny’s sopping cunt. He watches as his cum leaks out of his hole and mixes with the literal puddle of Johnny’s cum spread over the floor.

He smiles as he admires the way Johnny lays there, boneless and nearly passed out. A state of being that only Simon can put him in.

He has absolutely no regrets over anything he’s ever done, because all of that has brought him here, admiring his fucked out boy that makes him happier than anything else on the planet ever could.

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