#i want to disappear into the ground | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

br4vest · 2 years ago

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Couldn't offer enough

#i think i should just offer myself up completely now #nevermind who or what #i should make the peaceful transition from person with own personal wants to a rug #a doormat #non argumentative #ill be anything anybody wants #because being myself is not enough and too much all at once #i want to disappear into the ground

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kalgalen · 2 months ago

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.

#perso #I know id regret it but the urge to burn to the ground my internet presence is. very present still #Idk if I'm attention seeking or if i genuinely want to disappear tho

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fisheito · 1 year ago

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edmond olivine......... farm sounds edition tiny tsun obsessed with girlfriend 4x his (cup_ ) Size....

#they're friends ur honour. maybe they can even boop snoots. let's give em some privacy #i wanted edmond horse to have a fancy braided ponytail (hah)-esque mane but the ref images all came up stuff like cornrows #and uh. no. no thank u. maybe i should start looking at cartoon horses instead #MASSIVE bunny olivine. bigger than a child. as big as a horse. capable of crushing kuya in his massive fur radius #when i think of hoof buddies edoli... i cannot decide on their sizes #yes horse is typically bigger than cow (at least taller)#but i want olivine to be a giant tank. and edmond to not look like a pubescent gangly mule next to him.#scratches chin #another part of me wanted to make em more . decorated. like design em with jewellery and whatnot #but if they are just animals in a boring ol zoo sanctuary #then they . . look like boring ol animals without all the cool decor?#actually what happens when they transform into their animal forms.#do all their clothes drop on the ground. free loot?#or do the clothes stay the same size and get all messed up and morphed on the new animal form #imagining poor oli transforming while still clothed and his clothes just rip from his Volume #and he's like aw man that's the 6th shirt this month :(#realistically(?) aster would prob provide magical clothing that appropriately shifts with the form or disappears somehow. conveniently.#idk. let's have inconvenient clothes only during the transformation sequences.#for the comedy aspect #edmond allows NO ONE to ride him. NO ONE! except olivine 🥰 eiden indeed gets kicked for even approaching and now he's in a coma #actually in the scenario where edmond is a horse he would probably allow anyone (small) on provided they are civil.#no foxes. no bears. no lions. maybe a hat.#guess i'm gonna have to start tagging this if i'm gonna keep posting about it. unbeliebabvle. it's become an actual tag #zookeeper au #nu carnival edmond #nu carnival olivine

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merkerlerspeaks · 11 months ago

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on a scale of 1-10 how silly would it be to ask folks to pray that I find a piece of jewelery I lost. It's not particularly valuable monetarily but its very precious to me and Im afraid I lost it outside of the house. I cant find it anywhere it should be. It could be in the pocket of the either the pajama pants or outside pants I wore the last day I saw it (the 19th) or it could be buried under something in my old bedroom, or it could be at my friend's moms house or somewhere between here and there. Trying not to stress over it but its just become precious too me.

#Its just one of those shark bracelets from one of those scam ocean charity sites #But I have used it as a grounding tool to help me focus when I need to get my head on straight so its been through a lot with me #a replacement just wouldn't be the same either plus I don't want to give more money to scam charities than they already get #and writing this out is helping me calm down about it #as Im writing I realize that I tend to freak out a lot when I realize that something precious is missing and can't chill out until I find i #and thinking about it. I know exactly where that stems from #not something I ever considered before but a lot of things precious to me got burned when I was little #and at one point I repressed the memory and would search for things that got burned up for hours because I had no idea where they went #but yeah anyway Im gonna try to chill. It'll turn up Lord willing #Im just scared I lost it in my friends old house or somewhere between here and there and I'll never see it again #I do not like it when things like that disappear I do not like it at all #I just worry about all the possible places it could be lost forever in or where it could have gotten ruined #I also just have ADHD forgetfulness so I get paranoid I left it like in a walmart bathroom or something #I know I didn't but I have almost lost things that way before #Like even if it is just gone and lost forever I just want to know where it is #merkerler speaks #prayer request #bc I am spazzy about these things #need to be careful about it bc it mirror's some of my dad's OCD tendencies

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hyrulesfav · 23 days ago

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♟️🐈‍⬛ is so perfect to me because they just. Get. each other. also they come into the relationship with kids who aren't their kids but one of them is basically their kid so they fall asleep watching bluey or blues clues a lot

#♟️ 🖇️ 🐈‍⬛#🐈‍⬛ 🖇️ 🐈‍⬛#grim 'i'm not a kid! i'm basically the same age as the other guys!' of w.akanda #its ok grim i fall victim to kids tv to 😔#anyways #i think. when they get older (maybe way prior to when they get married) elvira presents grim to her Mother and is like 'look at him! you've #accepted him as your son for over fifty years! he has been my son for longer. you should totally let me and leona skip having kids since we #both only agreed on one'#and then her Mother is like 'lmao i love both of you but i am a fertility goddess for a reason so :)'#and boom the twins and then they're done #i dont think they get married until after their kids are grown though #there's def some pressure from his family but hers really dgaf lmao #besides i think after a certain point it gets to where hes spending 85% of his time in the multiverse and its somewhat better over there #(ignoring that it is. in fact. a m.arvel universe.)#he goes back to t.wst one day n gets hit with the 'well well well look what the monkey dragged in' and he immediately responds with 'i dont #want to be here. my gf and her family forced me to leave for my own safety or wtv'#anyways.#🐅 🖇️ 🌬️ 🖇️ 🐍 🖇️ 🐈‍⬛#i love the idea of the lesbians (aave-l) including leona in their relationship despite him being a Man #i think the transition into him being apart of the relationship was as seamless as it was for him n elvira to finally get together #in terms of accepting him i think it was elvira -> aimil -> valentine -> ainya -> leilani (after some time)#(leilani tried to kill him multiple times i just know)#they all go back to t.wst with him one day and someone turns to leona and is like 'wow. you sure have been collecting some lovers'#'actually i haven't. we're more like their (elvira and aimil's) lovers. they've been collecting us like strays' because is he wrong?#i think the only thing that sets them apart is that while aave-l are married in the eyes of the gods. he's not #bc. yh. while his lifespan is extended greatly. its because of radiation exposure #he hasnt died or been reborn/resusitated by any of them and i think they'd rather keep it that way lmao #they also def keep his phantom around for funsies lmao #elvira 'yeah i kinda kept some of their phantoms cause they looked so sad they were gonna disappear :( they've been living with me on #ramshackle grounds n helping out so maybe they could help out here' of w.akanda

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detective-piplup · 2 months ago

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okay but like I joke about how much I like fireknight and how it consumes so many of my waking thoughts but it actually does . it does so much to me. a lot of it was built through fanon and clinging onto scraps from the games bc i doubt devsis will ever let them interact again but they are like insane to me.

fire spirit’s weird relationship with affection and love is also part of why I like them so much yes that was the source of the divine visions earlier .

nobody look at the tags of this post.

#he’s not built to love or love normally but he wants to. “they say true love is like an eternal flame”#he has that as one of his dialouge lines and actually I’ll never shut up about it man he can pine so hard #but he doesn’t know what to DO with that pining because he IS the fire. he finds something he loves and he wants to consume it #make it a part of him. it’s like fuel to a fire. and a fire will not stop consuming that fuel until it’s all gone or until it’s forced away #he destroys what he loves because it’s in his nature. he causes the end of the world in two of his costumes #“I don't care if even I disappear. ... That might even be better.” hey man I hate you. get onto my writing pages #but anyway this changes in fireknight because while knight is this image of heroic values. he’s also protection #he’s loyalty until there’s nothing left of him to serve what he believes in. and even past that he will protect what he loves #where fire spirit is destruction. knight is preservation.#and fire spirit loves him. he loves him down to his very being and core and he wants to be with knight and make him his #and if knight reciprocates then he is the same. and that is terrifying for fire spirit #because if knight let him consume all there was of him then he would. and despite how he loves him and to love he causes destruction #he doesn’t want a world without him. so he pushes knight away #and he pushes too far despite how much he wishes to dig his claws into him and never let go. never be separated and to thrive with the fuel #and this hurts him. he’s without something to fuel him. he falls to ashes then painful flames then back to normal then over and over #and he tries to forget but he just wishes he could love normally. love something and not destroy it #love something that can be like an eternal flame. something that won’t be lost because he holds it #eventually I think he figures out how to deal with it more but since they met pretty early in fire spirits godhood (to me at least)#he doesn’t have any idea how to handle any of it at first #And he wants his knight back. he needs a ground to walk on #he claws and begs for something he himself pushed away #you can’t have your cake and eat it too #Knight is also a criminally insane homosexual but fire spirit takes it to unprecedented levels

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quietwingsinthesky · 2 months ago

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im going to lay here and think about pond family cuddle piles until i fall asleep

#and i shall paint u a picture before i go. ahem.#one must imagine of course that rory is the natural foundation of the cuddle pile #he is not very squishy or padded well for laying on but he can sit still for long periods of time. which is not a skill 2/3 of the others #have and to be honest river only Arguably has it when she knows she’s getting something out of it at the end #so rory is the foundation whom all others lay on top of #and once he’s down amy is too and she is going to sprawl all over on top of him if the doctor doesn’t claim some space quickly. she will #take all of the rory for herself. she is greedy and also wants to be comfy.#amy pond face squished into her husband in a way that should make it impossible to breathe and with her arms and legs all tangled around him #in ways that should not be comfortable and yet. rory is used to this. he likes it.#i think eleven cuddles like dogs do when they get on the couch with you and your lap isn’t free so they sort of lay next to you and push the #their back up against your side as hard as they can and stretch out and sigh. and eventually wiggle their head into your lap anyway.#thats how eleven snuggles. belly up and paws out. if he can wriggle under amy’s arm where she’s got it hooked around rory? even better #and then river. and river’s the hardest to get into the cuddle pile for many Many reasons but. i think there’s a foolproof way the three of #them have found how to do it. and it involves first the doctor flopping on top of amy and rory and looking so so cute and cuddly and making #happy relaxed noises to tempt river over. and then involves rory scooching beneath the two of them to make it ibvious that there’s room for #river if she wants it. and then when she does get lured down with them. its amy who finds her and squirms over closer to hold her. eyes shut #pretending she’s asleep and doesn’t know she’s doing it.#river’s never at ease at first but she has to let herself. the doctor moves to lay more of his weight on her as well as rory and ground her.#team (family) effort to get river to let her guard down completely and relax.#in the most normal family way ever aksjfkfjskd which is why amy is clinging onto her like River’ll disappear if she lets go #nornal family. normal cuddling. i think they all pet the doctor like a puppy while theyre doing this

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bonefall · 2 years ago

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Isn’t there already a canon Mistcloud? Why not combine Mistfeather with another cat? Or is the ShadowClan one getting a new name?

oHHH MY GOD I just realized I misspoke

The SkyClan warrior who is Hawkwing's sibling is Cloudmist

The ShadowClan warrior who is the sister of Sparrowtail and the dead aunt of Sunbeam is Mistcloud

Can you blame me? Their names are BACKWARDS. Anyway maybe I'll keep them both but then they both died, Cloudmist being Mistfeather's unnamed dead mate. Cloudmist died in the battle and Mistfeather died similarly to canon, attacking Darktail.

#I do want to write Darktail as being less... Pure Evil though #I want him to be more of a cult leader tyrant type who happily exploits people and disappears his dissenters #Less of a... 'I love blood + death + ripping + agony' serial killer type #So Mistfeather probably attacks him first (to avenge Cloudmist) and that's the justification Darktail needs to shred him into confetti #Pinning Mistfeather to the ground and lamenting about what he's being forced to do #Alderpaw begging him to leave Mist alone #Responding ''this isn't about what i want to do. This is what I Have to do. I'm so sorry''#And then kills Mist efficiently and without mercy #Bonefall AVoS

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laulo821 · 1 year ago

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funfact! klark is in fact a big boy, being 190cm tall (6'3). but due to his horrible posture he towers much lower as shown in this pretty accurate graph

but also. since he always stands like that. he also WALKS like that. so enjoy that little stance gif i made of him. look at him!! prancing!! where is he going...

honestly it kinda be scary to see him go about this way but hes just used to it. walking 24/7 on tiptoes. standing normally is too hurty to the backy

#art #lore #tenyoxin #klark barbel #i also have a graph containing (too much) details about his neck piercing too if anyone wants it!!#yes the pointy things on the sides of his neck is a piercing #am i so insane about him that i do graphs about him? yes.#hed be scared of my stalking.#also!! his tail is disappearing so you can see his back leg properly :] also it should move yknow according to his movement but honk mimimi #funfact he always keeps his tail hovering above the ground. hes just used to it #else he dont really use it voluntarily. but very useful for his balance (the reason he can so efficiently walk on tiptoes 24/7 actually)#ANYWAYS SORRY IM RAMBLING IN THE TAGS #I COULD GO ON FOR HOURS ABOUT HIM #THATS JUST WHAT LOVE DOES TO YOU BABY

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acr3ss-the-cosmos · 8 months ago

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If I do decide to write Yukong (which is becoming more likely if I'm being honest), I would want to portray her as someone who is still very much grieving the death of Caiyi, but is trying to not let it affect her future any longer. We see this in how she finally let go of her fear and allowed Qingni to start her career of becoming a starskiff fighter pilot by working as ground crew. It's a small step, sure, but a positive one nonetheless.

I also think that this would affect any future relationships she may have, whether they be romantic or platonic. It's obvious Yukong and Caiyi shared a very deep platonic connection with each other, and Yukong loved her very much (and thinking on it more, I feel that she also likely harbored inklings of romantic feelings for Caiyi, but never acted upon them since she was happily married to Guangyuan, and Yukong would never have wished to ruin that).

Caiyi's death (in my interpretation) made Yukong become very closed off to any prospect of deep friendship or romance out of fear of losing the person (in addition to seeing herself as being just too busy for such things) and it's not until she started learning to heal from the past that she, slowly, allowed herself to open up to others more.

#ground control; (OOC)#((I also want to say that she has a very deep respect for both j.ing y.uan and f.u x.uan as her fellow charioteers))#((and she loved t.ingyun like her own daughter and was absolutely *devastated* at her disappearance/presumed death ;_; ))#((boy howdy this got longer than I thought))#((guess I'm brainrotting y.ukong now ASHDJDKKD))

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empressofmankind · 1 year ago

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Remember that sketch of Euron playing the accordion? I figured I do another sketch for the same fic on the other page, featuring something I am not remotely as confident at: kids.

So, have a complicated picture of Euron's A+ parenting involving taking a nine-year-old that can't swim (Dany) and a ten-year-old that'll crawl into every flood crevice in sight (Joan, i.e. Jon) to a tide beach. And just. Not paying attention.

#i mean #he got one of their kids killed already #loren do something #sea dragons is such shitshow and its all his fault #euron #euron greyjoy #house greyjoy #deanerys targaryen #female jon snow #dany deserves friends #and i just find it funny how biased she is into liking Joans parents because she wants parents so badly herself #also shes nine what does she know #servants that disappear is kinda weird but its so nice to be told your name is pretty and that youll do great things!#her bar is on the ground ngl #a saga of bears & lions #imperial art farts #asoiaf #asoiaf fanart

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danothan · 2 years ago

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hi pls take my humble flash + superhealing theories 🤲

idk anything abt biology, this is rly just a lame excuse for me to draw barry(+) with scars

#danbles #dc #the flash #barry allen #wally west #bart allen #i rly like the idea of barry’s scars being a lot ‘worse’/obvious than normal but are ultimately temporary #is that a non-commital answer to get the best of both worlds? maybe.#but i think it could lead to some rly interesting and introspective flash povs #like he wants to hold on to them before they disappear as if they keep him feeling grounded and human #which he tends to lose touch with when he gets in his own head #he is LITERALLY out of touch out of time <3 #where am i going with this.#expect some barry + superhealing art in the future ig #speedsters 101

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outeremissary · 5 months ago

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Very dumb how you can't out-logic mental illness because it always seems to have something factually true to throw at you when you go "this breakdown is all stupid and made up."

#many things in my life would be better with stable irl connections but at this point it's hard to believe it's possible #especially if you don't want to go on dates.#and I am finding that more and more I don't trust myself to make any connections I won't inevitably burn to the ground #either of my own volition or during a breakdown #everything is unbalanced but what can you do? not much #drown yourself in fiction and hope it all disappears #I don't like being the creature that I am.#venting #if I could at least go through life without envy. but it's not possible. the feeling is there to remind me of what I lack #and I can try to shove down the feeling but I can't fill the hole #sometimes I wonder if it would be easier if people just pretended I didn't exist #I feel like I'm always being teased by the joke my company might be worthwhile and then feeling it yanked away. idk why I fall for it

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caguaydreams · 1 year ago

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The teeniest tiniest bit of a sign of rejection or disapproval from random people on fandom spaces sends my anxiety haywire. I hate this feeling

#I've been avoiding fandom in general because of this and it's mostly irrational but still #How do you deal with this #I want to dig myself a hole in the ground and disappear in there

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sxnctxxry · 1 year ago

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the storytelling in this album i will die

#growing pain is about falling headfirst into reality #then chasing that feeling is about running on the ground after you fall trying to find like something #then back for more is the feeling of wanting to go back to before because reality is too hard #then dreamer is about finding your dream and getting your name back. and it becomes your motivation to continue on #then deep down is about how these people were the reason you came this far. and how your struggles or your horns were really your crown #and then happily ever after is about realizing life isnt a fairytale and our endings are all unknown and isnt that better that we make #our own future? that we dont know what happens next?#and then skipping stones. OMG SKIPPING STONES THE METAPHOR UGH. its about how the ripples on the water when you skip stones #those wounds on the water. one day they will disappear and the water will calm again. so head towards that ocean. and stop dwelling on the #thoughts hanging on your fingertips. stop thinking about what youll be losing. LOSS IS A UNIVERSAL HUMAN EXPERIENCE. instead go forward #LIKE UGH WTH WHO GAVE THEM THE RIGHT TO KAJSDHFLKJDH #and then blue spring and do it like that #LIKE UGH #THIS ALBUM #I CANNOT #THE ALBUM PREVIEW I NEED TO STAB MYSELF

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that-foul-legacy-lover · 2 years ago

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me: i will not think of more angst today

me: *listens to For Riddles, For Wonders*

me: well mission failed then!

#hush n shush wifi #specifically i'm listening to the KKOMDA remix which is somehow even MORE sad #now i'm just thinking of you smiling sadly as you disappear from Foul Legacy's grasp #your last moments are holding his hands as you vanish into specks of light #he tries so hard not to cry because he doesn't want your last memory of him to be him crying #but once you fully disappear he falls to the ground and starts sobbing #maybe the Traveler is there watching but unable to console him #and when he wakes up he feels like he had a long dream he couldn't remember #along with the sense that something extremely important is missing #but no matter how he tries he can't remember what #it feels like there's a hole in his heart that used to be filled by something #but what?#everything is seemingly as it should be yet it just seems a little less bright #because he's missing his sunlight (you)#the awful part is if he doesn't remember he feels like something is missing for the rest of his life #but if he does he falls into grief over what he's lost: the love of his life who provided light in his darkest times #the one person who adored him even though he's a monster #and he'll never get that back #anyways people who read the tags will be having a field day #i got some writing done but not much because i did other writing that was not very fun for hours today so hopefully i get more done tmrw #good evening :)#wifi rambles

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