#i want to be there even if your at your worst or struggling to make words or passionate about the dumbest thing ever idc if i dont like the

[animemakesmeanxiouss]

It's okay, there are a lot of people to save right now. He'll get to you, you thought to yourself, as you tightened your hold on the railing of the now-destroyed balcony you were just barely hanging on to.

Katsuki was fighting one the villains with his blasts while Gale Force was saving people who had been hurt or stuck by the villains attack.

Your arms were in so much pain, but you had no way to propel your lower half up to try and leverage yourself into a more stable position so you were using all of your upper body strength to keep yourself wrapped around until he could get to you.

Soon the screams and cries around you dwindled, signifying their removal from any danger, leaving only you, thankfully. You waited and waited, but still no savior came. Then, your arms went numb.

No no no, this cannot be happening right now.

You could feel your grip starting to loosen up and you slipped, just by a couple of centimeters, but you wouldn't be able to hold yourself up much longer. You were solely focused on holding on, but it was getting so difficult. You closed your eyes and tried to tighten your grip as best you could, but the lack of feeling was making things a thousand times more difficult. It was either hold on or die.

Let go said an inner voice. You shook your head furiously with your eyes closed.

"Let go," the voice said again, "I've got you now, doll"

Oh, so it wasn't an inner voice.

You opened your eyes to see Katsuki pulling you into his own arms, making you gladly let go of your railing and hold onto him for dear life.

Your entire body was trembling. From the fear, the adrenaline, or potential nerve damage, you didn't know. You looked up at your savior, and your lover, to see his jaw was clenched tighter than usual as you guys were on your way to the medical tent.

Oh god, he's mad at you

"I-I'm sorry, Kats-"

"Don't apologize, you've done nothing wrong." He cuts you off, but still clearly angry. You rested your head on his chest for the rest of the way, and when he set you down on the ground, he grabbed your arms to inspect them.

"You're going to have insane amounts of bruising from having to hold on so tightly for so long, " he spoke through gritted teeth, before waving a medic over to evaluate you further.

Once they gave him the okay that the bruising would be the worst of the damage, he took you back into him arms.

"Are you alright?" he asked, gently. More gently than you've ever heard him speak before.

You nodded, just as gently, feeling his gloved hand caress your cheek and wiping away tears that you didn't even realize had been running down your face the entire time.

Suddenly, he turned around and stomped his way over to Gale Force, who was just about to give him a congratulatory pat on the back for a job well-done, when Katsuki wound back his fist and punched him so hard, you'd think he'd been launched by a catapult with how far back he flew.

Everyone around was shocked by the punch, but some around looked like they understood why it happened. Meanwhile, you were just watching the scene before you unfold with nothing but utter confusion.

"Next time make sure everyone has been saved before you stand on the sidelines, flexing for girls," Katsuki screamed at him, while pointing towards you. His voice filled with more than just his usual anger, but also the fear and worry he had felt about possibly losing you.

It was then you understood, that while you knew their roles were Katsuki battled and Gale Force rescued, the wind rescuer neglected to do his. That's why Katsuki was so angry. Why his jaw was clenched after he got to you. You'd been abandoned by his mission partner.

Gale Force looked over at you and stuttered out a poor excuse for an apology, but you didn't care. You just wanted Katsuki to hold you and go home, which he surprisingly did.

"Don't you have to do paper-paperwork on this before you can go ho-home?" you asked, still struggling with your speech as you try to process the nerves now that you're safe.

"That fucker can deal with it, if he knows what's good for him," he grumbled, as he flew you back home to the cozy apartment you shared.

You were still trembling when you arrived, and he didn't dare put you down until you were both inside with the door locked and he lovingly placed you on the big cloud couch in your living room before turning on the TV and passing you the remote before making his way to the kitchen. The angry clanking sounds coming from that direction had you more preoccupied than whatever was showing on the big screen until you heard his name.

Uh-oh! Looks like there's trouble in paradise between Pro Heros: Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight and Gale Force, as they worked together on today's big take down/rescue mission as villains attacked several buildings in the downtown area. While Dynamight had taken on the role of battling and capturing the villains, Gale Force used his winds to propel himself rapidly between crumbling buildings and catch those innocents affected by the villainous destruction!

Katsuki appeared behind you and placed a plate on your lap, consisting of cut-up apples and pears as well as a simple ham and cheese sandwich. You shakily brought an apple slice to your mouth and he sat beside you as the newsanchor continued.

However, it seems that Gale Force's radar may have been a bit...defective as there was still one person left hanging, quite literally! Luckily for her, Dynamight was able to quickly assess the situation with the utmost precision and got to her before her poor limbs gave out. Here is a video of the immediate after effects of the rescue:

*The video shows you and Katsuki from a few feet away, Katsuki checking your arms, calling the medic over while Gale Force is laughing with a group of girls about who-knows-what. It was odd seeing it from a third-person point-of-view. Then, without realizing the camera was there, Katsuki sent the guy flying, screaming the same words you had witnessed before*

What do you think, folks? Was Dynamight in the right here? Do you think Gale Force deserved that mean hook on behalf of this young lady-oh, wait a moment! I'm being given some additional information. It seems that the young lady who was rescued by Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight was none other than his lover! Oh man, I definitely wouldn't want to be on the other end of that punch with that being the case.

"Bastard's lucky I didn't blow him to pieces," he muttered as he grabbed another apple slice from your plate before his phone rang, startling you both.

"Dynamight," he answered and you heard a familiar voice on the other side.

Hawks

He got up and went back to the kitchen, probably to discuss the issue privately

"Yeah, well, I wouldn't lose my cool on television if that fucking airbender wasn't such a goddamn liability. He's getting sloppy, Hawks, we all know this and today it almost cost me the love of my life. Something has to be done"

It made your already-racing heart flutter even more to hear him call you that. It wasn't like you didn't already know, but he doesn't express it verbally very often. His love language was more acts of service and physical affection and while you wouldn't change the for the world, hearing him talk to someone about his love for you was mind-blowing.

You turned back to the screen to see he had changed the channel before he left to one of your favorites, the cartoon channel, which he thought was super corny but humored you anyway.

After about 20 minutes, he came back and sat beside you once again, this time resting his hand on your thigh where the plate used to be. It now sat on the coffee table in front of you where he reached for the last apple slice you left him, he looked over at your arms, seeing the bruises already forming.

"Are you in any pain?"

You shook your head. You just felt some soreness, nothing crazy, and you didn't want to worry him any more than he already was. It would probably feel worse later but some ice on it should be fine if it even got to that point.

What you wanted more than anything was to lie down, so that's exactly what you did. You rested your head on his lap and he caressed your hair as you both sat in silence, watching the little animated animals on the tv sing and dance their little hearts out until you fell asleep.

After several hours, you awoke with a jump. Something was...wrong. You felt like you were on fire. More specifically, your arms felt like they were igniting from the inside. You didn't know what time it was or how Katsuki ended up lying down with you without waking you, but you couldn't think of it for long because of the awful burning. You wiggled out of his arms and rushed to the bathroom to try and run some cold water over your arms to help the feeling but it wouldn't stop. You were trying to even your breathing and as your eyes adjusted to the light, you analyzed your arms to see they bruising had become pitch black, reflecting the amount of strength it had taken you to hold yourself up for as long as you did.

The cold water wasn't helping and the fear wasn't making the pain any better. You tried not to break down in tears but god, it was so painful. The most painful thing you've ever felt. You closed your eyes for just a moment while you tried to think of what else you could do, when you heard the faucet turn off and felt strong arms grab yours firmly, but gently. You opened your tear-filled eyes and saw Katsuki's focused ones on your arms, gently tracing them before seeing his hands begin to glow.

Heat, you realized and your eyes widened in fear as you pulled away.

"Hey," he said gently as we grabbed your chin to look at him, "I'm not gonna hurt you. The heat will relax your muscles and ease the pain, I promise."

You stared into his eyes for any sense of deceit, or doubt, and could find none so you just nodded. Anything for some relief.

Again, his hands began to glow as he grabbed yours and began to massage them gently. At first, the pressure did cause a bit of stinging but then the fire started to settle. He used his thumbs to massage circles up and down your forearms where it was at its worst, and you could feel the tension lessen.

You didn't realize you had been holding your breath until you let out a shakey one and then burst out sobbing. He pulled you into his chest and held you until you had no more left to cry, from the pain, from the fear of everything that happened today, from the thought that you would never see him again.

He then picked you up and took you to the bedroom and layed with you, continuing to massage your arms until you both fell asleep.

"I'll always take care of you," he whispered as your minded faded to dreams.

And he did, the entire rest of the week, he stayed home massaging your arms, feeding you, helping you bathe, doing everything for you until you were recovered enough that you were practically pushing him out the door and be the hero he is to people besides you.

[your-hockey-mom]

I'm having a shit day, I need Quinn to fix it

Please and thanks

Rain, rain, go away, come again...when you didn't have a hundred errands to run and were short on time to do them. Naturally, it would pour the entire time you were out and about, and your umbrella had decided to break the first time you went to use it. It really set the tone for the rest of the day; a terrible foreshadowing you had hoped wouldn't be the case.

The only reason you were out running those errands in the first place was because you had taken the day off to make sure everything was nice for when Quinn got back home. You knew he was going to be exhausted after finishing another six straight games on the road. Plus, you wanted to enjoy the evening with him knowing nothing would be looming in the back of your mind that would take away from your time together. However, since the minute you got up it was like everything was stacked against you. You had slept through your alarm, getting up almost two hours later than you had intended. You thought you had plugged in your phone but hadn't make a proper connection so your battery was at 12% to start the day. And to add insult to injury (literally), you had dropped a glass while in the kitchen and had cut your hand while trying to pick up the pieces.

Today was proving to be one of those days that were best spent at home, but unfortunately, that wouldn't be the case for you. By this point, your phone was now sitting at 6%, because you realized, after you had left the parking garage, that the charger you left in your car was in Quinn's. You just hoped it would hold on long enough to get you home.

You would be stopped at a red light, mid rush hour, when a message would ding in. It was Quinn and the dreaded text you didn't want to come across your phone until you were already back at his apartment.

"Hey baby, we just touched down. I'll see you soon. I love you."

"I might not be there when you get home. Stuck in traffic. </3 I love you, too. <3 <3 Also, phone is about dead. >:("

"Just be careful. I've missed you."

"I've missed you, too."

- - -

Getting everything out of the car had been hard enough, but carrying them with your cut palm was the worst. Being half asleep and dealing with broken glass was not a good combination, something you would note for the future. Sure, you couldn't have texted Quinn to see if he would help you, which you knew he would have, but you were determined to get it done yourself.

When you stepped into the elevator, from the parking garage, all you could think of was "please don't break down. I do not want to walk up the stairs. I do not want to be trapped in an elevator with a dead phone." Thinking it was a bad idea to put such thoughts into the Universe, you'd just count floors instead until you reached Quinn's.

It was a struggle to unlock the door but you had managed though your hand was burning and you were pretty sure you were bleeding again. Just something else that would get tended to later. Once inside, you'd drop everything at the door and Quinn would come from the bedroom to greet you.

"Oh sweetheart, why didn't you tell me you were downstairs? I would have helped you with all of this." He wrapped his arms around you and you melt into his body. "I have missed you so much."

"I'm so glad you're home." All of a sudden and without warning, you begin to cry. Likely a culmination of trash sleep, stress, no food, and pain. Your body and emotions were just fried; not to mention you hated when he was gone for so long.

"What's wrong, baby?" Quinn would say softly, gently tightening his hold on you. "Are you alright?" Anytime you were having a rough day, he was the first person to notice and always did everything he could to make you feel better.

"No," you said, hiding your face in his neck. You weren't ready to have him see how much you were struggling.

"Why don't you go sit, hmm? I'll get this."

"I wanted to have everything done for you but today has been awful."

Quinn pulls away from you just enough to tip your chin up towards his face. You can't escape him now and the look on your face makes his puppy eyes heavy with emotion. "Oh, baby~"

He kisses you several times, each one of them sweeter than the last, yet the tears still continue to fall from your cheeks. "Come on, this stuff can wait."

Taking your non-bandaged hand, he ushers you to the sofa where he insists you sit in his lap so you can be as close to him as possible. You loved moments like these just on better circumstances than today had given you.

"Baby, you're bleeding. What happened?"

You had reached up to brush some hair from your eyes when he caught sight of the bandage now tinged bright red in the center. You dropped your hand to your leg and shook your head. "It's nothing. Just a clumsy accident."

"Let me see."

You refuse, sniffling and trying to hold back the welling tears.

"Please?"

Damn those eyes of his; damn the tone of his voice that just took your breath away. You could never truly tell him no and this was no different. You'd turn your palm upwards when you presented it to him, scared it was worse that you thought it was initially.

"May I look at it?"

You just nod, before laying your head against his shoulder. You didn't want to see it and you knew him pulling back the adhesive of the bandage was going to hurt, even though he had the softest touch.

Quinn was always so careful with you; always asking for permission especially if it would potentially cause you pain. Slowly he'd remove the bandage and you would wince against the discomfort even though he did everything he could to make it easy on you. "How did this happen?"

Quinn's tone conveyed deep worry and hurt and that didn't give you the reassurance you were hoping for.

"This morning. I got up late, and was half asleep taking my vitamins and I guess my hand just stopped working and I dropped it. It shattered everywhere. I didn't realize I had grabbed the raw edge until it was too late and I cut myself."

"Oh sweetheart," Quinn whispered laying his head against yours. "Want me to fix you up?"

"I'll get it."

"Please?"

Twice now, he had used that word with (that) tone, and twice now you would fold without another chance to resist. Again, you would silently nod, letting him slip out from under you while he disappeared into the bathroom for a few moments. You remembered how you had left it and it made you feel worse, but when he returned, the only thing that mattered to him was making sure you were alright.

"You said today was awful, how come?" He talked to you while he worked so to keep you from focusing solely on your hand and the pain. Everything he did was so thoughtful.

"I stayed up too late watching The First 48, then I slept through my alarms this morning, so I was two hours behind. I guess I hadn't clicked my charger into my phone fully so it didn't charge. I dropped the glass. I didn't get the apartment cleaned. I didn't get the laundry put away. I forgot my charger was in your car. My umbrella broke." With each added reason for the bad day it made you more emotional to the point that he had to stop cleaning the cut to lay a hand on your leg and try to calm you.

"Shhh, baby, baby, it's okay. None of that matters now. I didn't expect you to be waiting for me at the door. I'm just glad you're here now, but I'm sorry you had such a hard day. The apartment is fine, please, don't worry about it."

"But...I left the bathroom~"

"I don't care about it. Honest. I want you to feel welcome here; I want it to be your home. Home should feel lived in." Quinn leaned forward to kiss you yet you frown. You still felt so bad for everything not being done like you wanted it to be. "If you're here, that's all I want."

"You're so nice," you squeak out, hiding your face with your free hand. You don't realize you were breaking his heart, feeling so bad about missing your self-imposed marks.

"Sweetheart, will you look at me, please?"

Dropping your hand, you let your eyes be exposed though you keep it pressed to your lips.

"You're the only thing I care about when I'm here. If you're okay, I'm okay."

"But I'm not okay."

"And I'm not either. May I finish this for you?" His smile was so sweet, so heartfelt as he held your injured hand in both of his. When you answered "yes, please" Quinn brought it to his lips before finishing what he had started. With each new step of the process, he'd check in with you before continuing. He didn't feel that you had any glass in the wound or that you needed stitches, but he didn't want you to do too much the next few days.

"Alright, babe, all done."

"Thank you."

"Of course. Anything for you," his smile continues. "How about you go change your clothes, get into something comfortable and we'll have a lazy evening in bed. I'll get the groceries put away and we'll order take out. How's that?"

"Do you want some help?"

"No babe, I can get it. It won't take me that long, but thank you. I'll meet you in there, okay?"

"Okay." You give him a kiss as a thank you, later apologizing for your mild breakdown earlier.

"It's alright. You're only human, sweetheart and you had a bad day. I can't say I'd do much better. I'd never judge you for anything like that," Quinn replies, holding your face for another kiss. "I promise."

[tkwrites]

Split & Healed - A snapshot in two parts - Quinn Hughes x ofc

gif from @kawhh

Title: Split & Healed - a Snapshot in two parts - Part 1 

Part 2

Author: Tory / @tkwrites

Relationship: Pre-established: Quinn x Sarah

Warnings: talks of Quinns lip injury; hurt/comfort

Summary: Sarah's reaction when Quinn's lip was split.

Word count: 1,800

Anonymous asked: The commentators mentioned Quinn is still struggling to speak with that monster of a split lip. How was Sarah's reaction? Was she there? Does he catch her just staring at him with pity throughout the day because like same 😫

Comments: Nonnie, you sent this in and I had an immediate vision of Sarah putting ointment on Quinns mouth, so I had to write it out. And the actual wounding. 

If you enjoyed this, please let me know by commenting, reblogging or sending in an ask. Your encouragement and comments truly inspire me to keep writing. 

Split & Healed - a Snapshot in two parts - Part 1 

A Quinn & Sarah Snapshot

She was there. It happened, and she was immediately up, pacing back and forth in the family and friends box, clinging to her phone as she waited to hear from him. 

When five minutes went by without any word, she sent him a message, hoping to break the tension as well as get an update: If he broke your nose, I swear to God, I’m going to kill him. 

Quinn snorted before responding, my nose is fine. My lip is another story. 

What happened? 

His stick caught me just right and busted through my lip and some of my gums. Have to get stitches. 

Through? 

A gruesome selfie popped up on her screen and she yelped as her phone flew out of her hand.

“What’s wrong?” Bella asked, running to her side. 

Sarah grimaced, “Quinn just sent me a picture of his lip.”

“Really,” Bella reached to pick it up.

“You don’t want to see, I promise.” 

Bella turned the device over anyway, and turned a delicate shade of green. “Oh, gross.” 

“I did try to warn you,” Sarah said as she took the phone back and clicked out of the image so she could respond.

Oh my god, warn a girl!

Quinn chuckled and was immediately reprimanded by the doctor currently stitching his lip. He went still and tried not to think too much about what was happening on the ice without him. 

Even seeing his picture of the gash – which she was pretty certain she could have seen his teeth through if the blood was mopped up and he moved just right – didn’t prepare her for seeing him that night when he got home after the game.

He slumped into the apartment, holding a towel wrapped ice pack to his mouth. 

“Hey,” she said tentatively, setting her book aside and standing to greet him.  

“Hey,” he echoed morosely. 

“Can I see?” she asked, reaching up to take his wrist. 

Quinn felt a pained expression flash over his face. Not because it was hurting. They’d numbed his whole lip so they could put the stitches in without any pain and so he could keep playing, but it looked awful. Even though he’d washed the blood off in his post game shower, the wound looked almost worse now that some swelling had set in. 

“It’s okay,” she promised, nudging his hand down.

Quinn watched her face as he lowered the ice pack. 

“Oh, Quinn.” 

He’d expected her to wince, and instead she was looking at him with all this deep pity in her eyes. He couldn’t decide which was worse. 

“Is it still numb?” she asked, stopping her hand in midair as it instinctively reached up to touch it. 

He nodded. “Doc said –” he broke off, wincing at his voice. It was like getting out of the dentist in the worst way. Not only was his lip numb, it was swollen, and wouldn’t do anything he wanted it to, making talking normally impossible. 

“Doc said,” she prompted, ignoring the lisp. If she were in his shoes, she’d hate people reacting to it. 

“Said I should ice it,” he said, gesturing with the pack, “help the swelling.” 

“Makes sense.” 

He sighed heavily. 

“Can I get you anything?” she asked as he brought the ice pack up to his mouth again. 

He shrugged, that morose look back on his face..

“What would make you feel better?” she tried again. 

When he shrugged again, she figured she needed to take matters into her own hands. “Do you want to cuddle? I’ll play with your hair.”

Relief crashed through him like a wave. He didn’t have enough energy to make decisions. He was tired - so, so tired - and now he had this stupid busted lip because Hagel couldn’t keep control of his stick. Even though he knew it probably wasn’t intentional, he still wanted to blame him. It was just the perfectly imperfect set of circumstances. Wrong place, wrong time, hit with just the right portion of the stick to do maximum damage. At least they’d gotten the 4 minute power play. 

“Come on,” Sarah said quietly, taking his free hand, “do you want to go to the couch, or bed?” 

“Bed.” 

She led him up the stairs, and after asking if he wanted to change, pulled out pajamas for them. Once they settled into the sheets and she turned on a baking show for them to watch, he rested his ear on her chest, calmed instantly by the steady, familiar beat of her heart. 

Her fingers found their way into his hair, and his eyes fluttered closed.  It was still terrible, this busted lip, but at least she was here, and still loved him enough to hold him and play with his hair. 

Several days later, as they were snuggled up on the lucky couch reading, he snuffed out a frustrated noise as he tried to get more comfortable.

“What’s up?” she asked as her fingers stilled in their journey down his back. 

“Just hurts,” he mumbled, adjusting again so his head was fully in her lap, and he could look up into her face. 

Glancing down at him, Sarah felt an ache swell in her chest. Not only was he in pain, his perfect, lovely mouth was marred with stitches and swelling. He was still handsome, of course — sort of roguish looking now — but it would take some getting used to. She wondered how badly it would scar. 

“And my lips are dry.” 

They looked dry. He’d been licking them, absentmindedly fiddling the stitches with his tongue.

“Here,” she adjusted slightly.

He huffed, not wanting to move. 

“I’m just going to get you something,” she said, “I’ll be right back.”

Reluctantly, he sat up and she stood. 

She was holding a white tube when she came back a few minutes later. “Here,” she said, handing it to him. 

“Aquaphor?” he read. 

“It’s basically fancy vaseline, but it’s really nice at keeping moisture in. I use it on my lips at night in the winter.”

That was good enough for him. 

“Will you do it?” He felt a little silly requesting it of her, but he knew from experience how much lighter her touch could be compared to his own. And quite frankly, he just wanted her to touch him. She’d been incredibly reluctant to kiss him since it happened, and though he was glad she wasn’t running headlong into anything, he wanted to feel her. He finally had time at home and he couldn’t even kiss her because of this fucking lip. It wasn’t even that they spent all their time kissing. They both had busy lives and things they needed to get done, but the fact that he couldn't do it only made the desire stronger.

He should send Hagel a bunch of hyper-realistic fake donuts, or some shit like that — just so he could experience the disappointment of having something delicious dangled in front of him, only to find he couldn’t actually eat it. 

Feeling her touch him wouldn’t be the same, but at least it was something. 

“Sure.” Sarah took the tube back. As she settled next to him, the little lights from the Christmas tree reflected in her eyes making them look starry and magical.

The lid clicked open with a quiet snick. He watched her squeeze some of the thick ointment onto the pad of her index finger. 

“You’ll tell me if I hurt you?” 

When she looked back into his face, she found Quinn watching her intensely. That intensity never failed to awake something within her. She pushed aside the desire that growled to life in her belly and heat that sparked between her legs.

He nodded.

“Ready?” she asked, as she reached out to rest her pinky on the side of his chin for grounding. 

“Yeah.”

“Do you want me to do the bottom or the top first?” 

Eyes darting to hers, he asked, “what?” 

She gave him a mischievous little smile, but her tone was serious. “Should I start with the top lip to get it over with, or ease into it?” 

Disappointment and relief swept through him in equal measure. “Get it over with.” It was always best to get the hard part done first. 

Even though she tried to keep her touch as gentle as possible when she spread the salve onto his lip, he still flinched. 

“It’s okay,” he assured, reaching up to keep her from pulling her hand away, “just a reflex.” 

He intentionally bit back a wince as he lisped over the words, worried she would think it was a response to something she was doing. Trying to figure out how to talk when half of his lip was unnaturally stiff was no cake walk. He hated the way it changed his speech. 

She started again, and he held himself still. 

Watching her do this, let alone feeling it, soothed him and also awoke something primal in Quinn. Letting his eyes wander down to her mouth, he couldn’t stop thinking about the pleasured noises he could pull from it when he went down on her. Another thing he likely wouldn’t be able to do until the damn thing had healed more. 

He wished his mind would stop conjuring up images of everything he wanted to do, but couldn’t because of this stupid injury. 

“Better?” she asked, pulling her hand away. 

He nodded. “Still want to kiss you,” he mumbled. 

“I know, Quinny. I can’t stop thinking about kissing you, either.” 

A frustrated noise huffed out of his nose. “You’re not helping.” 

She smiled, “maybe we can try…” Leaning in, she pressed a gentle kiss to his bottom lip, doing her best to avoid causing any pain. 

He still let out a hissed kind of whine.

“Did I hurt you?” she asked, pulling back abruptly. 

“It’s just tender,” he sighed, a dark edge of defeat in his voice. “This fucking sucks. I wanna kiss you so bad.”

“I know the feeling,” she said, eyes straying down to the dark stitches again. 

Quinn took a measure of comfort in the fact that she, at least, was feeling the same longing he was as he lay down again, settling his head back into her lap. 

Her fingers ran into his hair again and he sighed. At least there was this. 

Part 2

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[pseudowho]

Random question, during any of your pregnancy’s were you ever insecure about you body, how you were acting, or any of your cravings?

Me and my fiancé were talking about plans for future kids and i’m to scared to ask anyone else. could you give me a small run through of things to expect?

Thank you so much!!

Hey! I'll answer this both as a woman who has done pregnancy and birth three times, and as an experienced midwife. I don't like the 'horror story' sharing that many women do around pregnancy; it muddies the waters, and is supremely anxiety-inducing for anyone who is pregnant while hearing it.

You need to know I could write, and have written, essays on this.

As a midwife: Pregnancy is this period of unique physiological change in your body and mind, that even when it is normal (i.e. normal symptoms, not a sign of an unwell pregnancy) can be profound and lifelong.

These normal symptoms, including but not limited to nausea and vomiting (commonly referred to as morning sickness, though present at any time of day), weight gain, swelling, congestion, mood changes, appetite changes, stretch marks, heartburn and hip/joint pain, can range from barely present/absent, to severe.

Even severe pregnancy symptoms aren't always considered abnormal unless they're making you unwell (i.e. unable to keep any food or water down).

These symptoms can be altered by many of your pre-existing conditions; your weight and general health, your lifestyle and eating habits, your exercise habits, simple dumb luck/genetics, family history, mental health and body image/dysmorphia, etc.

So in that respect, in a normal pregnancy, I have seen some women who are extremely insecure and struggling to cope with the changes to their body and mind, and some women who absolutely breeze through it like pregnancy hasn't even affected them. Nowhere on this spectrum does it ever surprise me.

So now I'll talk about the average first pregnancy. As I said...the experience varies wildly.

Early on in your pregnancy (up to about 12 weeks) often feels like you're in an utter no-man's land. You feel like healthcare professionals aren't wildly interested in you; they'll take your history and 'book' your pregnancy in from (now this is based on the UK) about 8 weeks pregnancy (please note, your 'weeks of pregnancy' aren't calculated from the moment you fall pregnant, it is calculated from the first day of your last period, so in a woman with a regular 28-30 day cycle, there usually feels like there's a 'disparity' of about 2 weeks in your dates-- there isn't, this is how we calculate it). You may have an early scan or two. Essentially, we wait to see if the pregnancy is continuing; lots of miscarriages happen in the first 8 weeks. About 1/3 of pregnancies will miscarry here, in fact.

Tiredness is real at this stage. You may feel like you want to sleep constantly. It's shit that at this stage you often feel the worst, but feel like you're also just being expected to 'get on with it'. Please ask for help. If your partner isn't an equal partner pre-pregnancy, best of luck to you. You may feel utterly useless sometimes days from exhaustion, and this is normal I'm afraid.

Mid pregnancy drags, but you're usually starting to feel a bit better. The top of your uterus doesn't even begin to rise out of your pelvic brim until about 16 weeks, and the lower part of the uterus only begins to expand and form (creating that 'pregnant' belly look) from about 28 weeks, so don't try to force a bump that simply isn't there. Lots of women are very keen to look pregnant. Just chill. It's okay if you dont. Take it easy.

You do not need to eat for two; your pregnancy uses your intake more effectively when you're pregnant. Do take pregnancy specific multivitamins though. They don't need to be expensive or fancy ones; normal store bought are generally just the same, without all the fancy packaging.

Later pregnancy (the third trimester, 28 weeks onwards), you will likely notice that tiredness creeping in again. This is where your baby is largely formed structurally, and is maturing and gaining size and weight. Please ignore any and all comments from people who look at you and announce that you will have a big/small baby. They're idiots and likely wrong. Laugh it off. Here is where you may start to notice things like heartburn, hip pain, mood changes coming back again. You're heavy, and it's harder to move, and your organs are moving out of the way to facilitate a baby. Cut yourself some slack if at all possible.

So...now to me and what I had.

As Haitch: (tw/cw: suicidal ideations) So it's now a running joke, that my body was so 'good' at pregnancy, so utterly flooded with hormones, that while I became this perfect machine for growing and birthing babies, pregnancy broke me.

I spent every waking minute of the first 16 weeks nauseous and exhausted, bone deep exhausted. I had all the usual symptoms hit hard and early. I suffered severe pelvic separation, agonising pain, and @mrhaitch had to help me up from an early stage.

Thankfully, he was exquisite pregnancy support. Full is based on him, after all.

I ended up on some pretty strong medication for my heartburn, as it was severe enough that my stomach acid was damaging my vocal chords.

Worst of all was my mental health. From 26-28 weeks, your progesterone levels boom. This is normal. But this is where we discovered that progesterone is a very bad hormone for me. I developed severe antenatal depression and anxiety, and antenatal psychosis. I was paranoid, delusional, fragile and had active suicidal ideations. I had plans on how I would end my life. This is all utterly unlike me.

With my first pregnancy, our son was born at 42 weeks after a fast, normal labour, but I don't know how I didn't end my own life towards the end of my pregnancy. With my second two, we were more on it, and my lovely colleagues induced my labours from 38 weeks, purely because my mental health was so bad.

I was watched like a hawk in pregnancy 3. We knew I would lose my mind...and sadly, I did. I was medicated but It did little to help. It was at that point (October/November 2024) that I began writing on Tumblr...and here I am.

So as I have said...lots of things you could expect.

To this day in my 13 year Midwifery career, I have seen fewer than 10 women whose mental health was affected as badly my pregnancy as mine was. So I wouldn't worry too much about that.

Phew. If you have any more specific questions, I would be happy to answer.

Love,

-- Haitch xxx

[heart4caitlin]

kk arnold fic based off of sailor song

SAILOR SONG / kk arnold

warnings : religious trauma , angst , self doubt , mainly reader focused

pair : kk arnold x fem!reader

wc : 1659

You had grown up in a house where God was the answer for everything. You were hurting? Pray harder. Doubt? Have more faith. You’d learn to obey the word of God, learnt to not go against your parents. You kept everything suppressed, suffocating yourself in so much guilt. You’d never looked at boys a certain way during school, never thought about them.

Until you went to college. But it wasn’t a boy. It was KK Arnold.

KK was extremely vibrant, lighting up every room she walked into with such a contagious laugh and smile. Who wouldn’t fall for her?

The first time the two of you had kissed was on a pier. KK had begged for you to sneak out around midnight to go see her. You remembered how she looked under the moonlight, her skin glowing as she smiled at you.

“Come on.. What’s the worst that could happen?” KK had teased as she leaned against the railing, her hand caressing your cheek.

"I could burn in hell..?" You laugh nervously as you play with the cross sitting around your neck.

KK scoffed, her hand coming up to pull yours down as she leans in closer. "You deserve to be happy.. Even if it's with me." She whispers before pushing her lips against yours, both of your eyes fluttering closed.

You had messed up, of course you did. You hadn't meant to. It had just started with your mom glancing at your phone and seeing your lock screen, a photo of KK smiling on the pier.

"Who is that, Y/n?" your mother had asked eventually, her tone a bit suspicious.

You froze as you stared up at your mom. "A friend."

"You've been spending a lot of time with this friend." Your mother pointed out, her head tilted to the side as she turned back to the counter, going back to cutting vegetables for supper.

"She's just important to me is all," You forced out with a smile, sliding your phone into your pocket.

"You sound like you're in love with her. Which is wrong, you can't love a girl like that." She had spat out, not even turning around to look at you as she rambled on about how wrong it was.

You were silent for a minute before speaking up. "What if I was though?" Your voice barely above a whisper as your mom froze, turning around to stare at you with disbelief written on her face.

"It's not a sin, it's just love." Your voice was trembling as you sat down in one of the chairs, looking down as you played with your cross again, a habit that you picked up.

"It is a sin. You're just confused about all of this. You're only 19 after all, you'll find the perfect man soon enough. I raised you better than this."

"I-I'm not confused though, mama! This is who I am, I-I really do love KK." You snapped, your frustration finally boiling over.

"Do not bring her name into this house ever again." Your father had finally made his entrance, his voice thundering throughout the house, his hand slamming down onto the table making you jump and look over at him.

"We will fix this. Us and the church will pray for you. God will show you the right path." Your mom had joined back in, wiping her hands off on a towel as she steps closer to the table with your dad.

"You don't love her." Your father spat out coldly. "You love your family and God. You will repent for this, Y/n."

You had sat stiffly in the pastor's office, the walls were lined with Bibles, different texts, framed photos of baptisms and weddings. Your mother was sitting next to you holding a tissue for herself, dabbing at her eyes every few minutes. Your father was on the other side of you, his jaw tight and his hands were clasped together.

"Y/n.. Your parents told me you have been struggling recently. I wanted to let you know that God wants you to come back to him." Your pastor had leaned forward on his desk, his hands clasped together in front of him as well.

Your stomach churned, he made it sound like KK were a sin, something bad in her life. You looked down for a split second, your fingernails pressing into your palms before you stared right at him. "I never left him."

The pastor let out a sigh, taking his glasses off and setting them on the table. "I know this may be confusing for you, Y/n... The world is a difficult place, but you know what he says. God's word is the ultimate truth and we are to follow it."

Your mother reached a hand out to your knee as you looked back down again. "We love you, we really do, sweetheart. Don't let this... confusion ruin the beautiful life God has planned for you."

Your pastor cleared his throat, making the three of you look over to him. "In Corinthians, Paul tells us, 'Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived.'" He looked up back at you again. "I don't want that for you. None of us do."

That night you sat alone on your bedroom floor, staring at the cross above your bed, something you've had for years, it being a gift from your parents. It used to comfort you through sad times, now it's presence is suffocating. A constant reminder of what had happened earlier.

You pulled your knees to your chest as sobs fell from you. The constant reminder that they were right, you were just sick, you just needed God to save you again. Tears were covering your cheeks and eventually falling down onto KK's jacket, making even more sobs fall from you.

The next morning was quiet when you awoke. The rays of sunshine filling your room make you wince when you open your eyes. It took you a few minutes to get out of bed and to change into something, deciding on just a pair of jeans and a simple light blue floral shirt. Your heart ached when you reached for your bedroom door, taking a deep breath before opening it and walking out, making your way to the kitchen.

Both of your parents were in the kitchen, their talking stopping once they saw you. Your mother was at the counter holding a mug in her hand while your father was at the table, his bible open with notes next to it.

You nodded towards them before walking over and grabbing a glass and pulling out a tea bag, your back facing them.

"We still need to speak, Y/n." Your father said, making you freeze for a few seconds.

"I don't think there's anything else left to say." You refused to turn around just yet.

"There's a lot left to say. We will not sit here and watch you throw your life away just for some.. some girl."

"God has a life planned out for you, sweetheart. You're shutting him out, don't do this. Don't throw your life away."

Your silence only seemed to spur your father on even more. "Do you think this is easy for us?" he demanded. "Do you think we want to be sitting here having this conversation with you? We care about you, that is why we're here doing this. We are trying to save you, Y/n. You can come from this, it is not too late for that." Your fathers voice softened just a bit.

You stared at them in silence, your eyes filling with tears. You wanted to believe them. So bad. But you also wanted to love. You swallowed hard, forcing your words back down as you turned away from them and heading to the door.

"Y/n... Don't walk away from us." Your mother had pleaded, her voice cracking as she looked towards you. You paused for a moment, considering if it was worth it. "I'm sorry.." You whispered before walking out, your mom crying in the background as your father comforts her.

The walk to KK's apartment felt incredibly long, it only being around ten minutes though. You hesitated for a second when going to knock, debating if you should go back so KK didn't have to see you in such a mess.

You knocked softly twice before the door had opened, KK stood there with her hair pulled back with her uconn sweatshirt and shorts, her face lighting up when she saw you—before falling into concern.

"Y/n? What happened? Are you okay?" KK stepped forward, her hand reaching out towards you and helping you in the house, locking the door behind you.

You went to open your mouth to speak but no words came out, your throat felt tight as tears welled in your eyes again. “I… I can’t do it anymore, KK.. They all hate me.. m-my parents, the pastor. They think I’m broken and need help.”

KK’s face crumbled, a frown taking place on her as she grabbed your hands. She pulls you to the couch and sits down, pulling you so close next to her. “Baby.. You’re not broken, you’ve never been broke. Don’t listen to them at all. They don’t truly know you like I do. You’re amazing. Don’t let them do this to you, my love.”

Your lip quivered as you sniffled. “I’m so tired, KK.. I’m so tired of fighting for myself.”

KK nodded at you, pulling you closer to her chest as she pressed a kiss to your forehead. “I know baby.. I know.. But I’m here every step of the way, screw them, okay? Move in with me or something. I love you so much.”

KK held you for what felt like hours, her sweatshirt covered in tears but she didn’t mind. You were here in her arms.

a/n : this is very ummm self indulgent kinda?? i did grow up in a religious family but not quite like this!! this is the longest fic i’ve posted on here too YAY

taglist : @mrsarnold @guiltyascaitlin @sweetluna20

[ckret2]

That one anon you had confuses me bc I don't get the appeal in Bill cipher redemption fics that don't bash on him. Like what is the point if not to make him earn it??? Where is the juicy character development to be had? How can Bill fundamentally change as a person if no one is still angry with him? If he doesn't have to earn trust or otherwise actually change in order to be accepted??? Also it's funny, I love to see a character struggle. I am in love with your series for just the fact that YEAH when you've done what Bill has to that magnitude, itll take an insane amount of time in order to become better. It already took a lot of time to get the bare minimum in terms of living space. It'll be like that when you tried to destroy an entire dimension and have personally victimized the ppl around you.

---> also my ass totally somehow missed they weren't talking about the main fics of yours oops

I'm assuming that anon was using the term "bashing" the way it's usually used in fanfics.

It doesn't mean "make a character struggle and work to improve," but rather "make a character the author hates suffer for the entertainment of an audience who also hates him; make him struggle in order to put him down, not to eventually build him up."

I've seen or heard about plenty of works about/including Bill that do just that, so even if the anon was rude about it, it's not ridiculous for them to mistakenly assume a Bill fic would do that.

Big difference between "the characters are mad at Bill and want him to die" and "the writer is mad at Bill and wants him to die." Bashing fics aren't about character growth; in fact, someone who writes a bashing fic would probably be pretty pissed to see a story about that character growing & improving as a person. The goal of a bashing fic is to destroy a character—either metaphorically by OOCly misinterpreting them to demonize them as much as possible, or literally by torturing/killing them. The kind of people who'd write a Bill bashing fic aren't the kind of people who write about him being redeemed.

I'm a Bill basher's worst nightmare: someone who looks at all the terrible shit he did, acknowledges its full magnitude, writes him doing even more terrible shit, and still wants to give him a happy ending.

[k1ng-ej]

Christmas oneshot with Michael

Warnings: none, just fluff Pairing: Michael Myers x GN!reader Notes: ive been running so short on ideas and creativity for writing, its so frustrating </3

(requests are open!)

You sat on your couch staring at your lazily decorated tree, a carefully wrapped gift resting on your lap, anxiously awaiting the arrival of a certain masked murderer. As time passed, doubt crept in- would he even show up? Did he have any interest in Christmas or the thought behind gifts? You held onto a flicker of hope that he did, especially after spending countless hours selecting the perfect present for him.

Michael remained an enigma, always maintaining a significant distance from you. Yet, there were fleeting moments when he allowed you to draw near, close enough to feel the heat radiating from his body and to hear the soft breaths escaping from behind the mask. But just as quickly as those moments arrived, they vanished. This left you grappling with the nature of your relationship with michael. Was it something romantic? Or was he merely using you for food and shelter, waiting for the perfect moment to stab you in the back?

Gratitude surged within you for the simple act of breathing in this moment. The familiar creaking of the floorboards jolted you from your thoughts, prompting you to swiftly glance around the room in search of that haunting white mask. There he was, lurking in the shadows of the corner, almost invisible in the dim light coming from your christmas tree. Your heart pounded with a mix of fear and excitement. As you rose from your seat, you awkwardly fumbled with the gift in your hands and offered him a brief greeting.

“I wasn't sure if you wanted anything, but I got you something regardless.” your voice trembled as you spoke, a part of you bracing for him to emerge and turn on you at that very moment.

Michael stepped out from the shadows, and you quickly noted with a sense of relief that he didn't have his knife in hand, meaning you were safe for now, at least for the moment. You held out the gift, feeling his rough and calloused hands brush against yours for just a split second as he took it from you, a small interaction that felt almost intimate amidst the tension. His movements were stiff as he tore the wrapping paper off, carelessly discarding it to the side. You bit your nail anxiously as he opened the box, revealing a pair of new boots that may not quite fit, possibly a size too big or too small, since you had no idea what Michael's shoe size was, but you thought it might have been quite some time since he had replaced the tattered ones he was currently wearing, which were worn out and stained with dirt and dried blood.

Michael stared at the boots for what seemed like an eternity before closing the box and placing it on the table, leaving you in a state of confusion. He stood there, gazing at you with a slight tilt of his head, making you wonder if he liked the gift or not. Your heart raced as he quickly rounded the table; your body stiffened as you braced yourself, fearing for the worst. To your surprise, you felt the warm embrace of his arms wrapping stiffly around you, pulling you tight against his chest. The familiar metallic scent that always accompanied him was even more pronounced now. For years, Michael had not experienced the kindness of being treated like a normal humming being. It had been so long since someone had looked at him the way you did, with that familiar spark in your eyes whenever you caught sight of him in the corner. He couldn't understand you, he knew fear lingered in your heart, yet you continued to treat him as if he were just another person in your life. You always made sure to leave extra food for him, leaving your back door unlocked so he wouldn't have to struggle to enter. You never disclosed his presence in your home to anyone, whether out of fear that he might harm you or for your own personal reasons. Michael was truly grateful for your gift, even though it caught him by surprise.

You were genuinely expecting Michael to pull away as soon as you returned the hug, but shockingly, he didn't budge. Instead, you seized the moment to relax further into his embrace, savoring the warmth and comfort it provided, all while attempting your best to push aside the chilling reminder that this man has taken multiple lives. It was a surreal contradiction, feeling safe and at ease in the arms of someone with such a dark history. But in that moment, all that mattered was the security of his hold, even if that comfort was deeply unsettling. 

[skydigiblogs]

dude the master cup has no right to be so infuriating

i love that boss enemies in cyber sleuth will randomly decide:

no actually, you aren't allowed to lower my stats. i am allowed to use cheats to raise mine though. speed to the max!!! defense! evasion! who cares, we're just throwing numbers at the wall!

fuck your status moves. oh but i am allowed to spam them all day (i'm punting crescemon into orbit). idle bubble, lunatic dance, good luck getting an action in buddy!!

i'm going to heal for an eternity and it sucks to be you since you can't just hit flee to retire from the cup. i will waste your time for the next hour, even once you've given up and decided to just hit a until you lose

[bluestjayy]

Maybe I'm just cursed 🤪

[science-lings]

you know you're fucked when you start getting fic ideas

[void-tiger]

Trying to keep a lid on it but. Yeah. Literally don’t know what’s it like to NOT be platonically neglected IRL my whole damn life, only that I know this One Person doesn’t deserve to be at the epicenter of it anymore than I deserved to have been at the epicenter of theirs a year ago now.

…why am I like this. Why are we like this.

[jatlokgwo]

i need to invent new words to explain how much i love them and how they make me feel so that i can tell them and somehow they will know what that word means and !!!!!!!!!

[muttsona]

i hope i die, you broke my heart

[fagmegumi]

Conversion therapy? In MY emdr with a clueless cis woman ? Its more likely than you think

[albtrosz]

.

[draconic-absurdism]

If you follow me on any of my socials you may have seen that I've been struggling to get a payment processor for selling suits. I wanted to move away from PayPal because the fees are sucking me dry (and not even in the fun way)

I tried SumUp, but it was incredibly frustrating and ultimately failed. My account was glitched (stuck in verification hell) so I contacted their support, and they immediately requested a bunch of additional documents to prove my identity. I sent them what they wanted, and then they immediately just decided to... shut my account down with no reason as to why, and no way to appeal. I suspect it may be because I'm a solo freelancer rather than a registered business, but that's my best guess. No matter what the reason, it was extremely unprofessional. Just radio silence after taking my personal bank details and government issued identification. If I didn't know multiple other freelancers who use SumUp, I'd be suspicious they were a front for identity theft or something, with how unprofessional and glitchy the service was.

I've been like "Oh I think I have payment set up now! -Uh actually nevermind its still messed up" all week, and its just as wild for me as it probably is to everyone watching this happen.

My friend (@ terminalvortex ILY bestie) recommended Stripe so I tried that and it seems to work WAY better. It has lower fees, accepts international payments, and was way easier to set up.

My hope is that Stripe will be my permanent payment processor and that I will never have to switch processors ever again.

I was successfully able to get a Stripe invoice paid from my other friend (@ fillycolt), who I will be making custom insect wings for after Anthrocon! (Also, it has been EXTREMELY helpful throughout this entire process, it worked with me through the whole SumUp ordeal, helped me test invoices, and has been incredibly patient, so I'm really grateful for that)

So with that being said, I will OFFICIALLY (FOR REAL THIS TIME I PROMISE) be listing all the paws I've been posting WIP shots of on my Dealer's Den account (linked in my pinned post) throughout the day today. I pray this is the last time I will have to make a technical update about payment, and can just get back to having fun making suits. Thanks for your patience everyone!