#i want to be loved not in spite of my flaws
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21milespastblue · 3 days ago
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this is pondering mostly onto myself but im little confused by the role of alternate universe powder in act 3. she serves to reconcile in ekko his perception of jinx, to remind him of how good she might have been, remind him of her potential in a way? a jinx that grew up far more supported and less spurned by the world is the best of every merit we've seen in jinx, her creativity and genius, her ability to connect, her compassion for the people she loves (however that may manifest).
something im seeing a lot of the online discussion about this to me is that ekko leaves, mourning somewhat this perfect life that could have been. i believe that as he makes the hard decision to leave that is definitely an aspect of everything that's going on in his head. but the greatest contradiction to me is that i don't think that ekko *personally* loved for alternate jinx. as much as i love me alternate versions of a character, im of the school of thought that loving this alternate person/version is the same as loving your own version. that's not to say that ekko didn't have any affection for her, he showed a great deal, but one can argue that these affections are as much a manifestation of his feelings for his jinx as they are a reflection of his feelings for alt. jinx. ekko's return and reaching out to jinx symbolizes that to me in a way; alt. jinx was a prompting to remember everything about her that's good not in spite of what makes her so complicated complex and difficult to categorize morally outside of grey but because of such. his jinx may have lacked the support that alt. jinx had in the wake of tragedy, may have had her life go to shit in a way that alt. jinx's life quite didn't--but he is reminded she is still very much capable of so much good, to be so much more than she thinks she is.
seeing that any universe i think that jinx is self-doubtful in a sense, not aware of how much value she truly has is an important aspect of the takeaways for ekko's dimensional adventure. aside from a display of his boundless determination and strength of character, ekko is able to fully realize the bulk of who his jinx is at her core. he tells alt jinx he "doesn't want her to change," thanks her for everything. at this point, i feel myself repeating the show; ekko monologues that in getting consumed in all the days the undercity wasn't, he forgot what it was, what it is--that same idealogy applies to his jinx.
to approach redundancy,
ekko: "I gave up on it. Gave up on you."
this was written to appease my own mind! and relate back to my earlier point that alt jinx simply reminds ekko of all the affection he used to and still has for his jinx. i think he loves her in the same way you may love any alternate version of someone you love, but he knows they are not the same. this is sort of response to all the people calling ekko the goat for leaving behind a perfect life with the girl he loves and the world substantially better (he still undisputably is!). but it's just a little different to me, not so much in that he's leaving behind this "perfect" jinx--she isn't his jinx and he's still very much leaving behind an almost ideal reality to his own--but that he's leaving emboldened to "save" our jinx. this relates back to what arcane asserts to be one of its major themes in the series finale. jayce languishes (platonic/romantic/3rd catergory love? sure! not love? no way) to viktor in a way that perfectly encapsulates it; "flaws" are irreparable and important parts of the people we love and are not barriers to love, but its cause. we love people because of who they are, warts and all, and not bc of what they lack.
TL;DR: i think that alt jinx wasn't supposed to be a "perfect" jinx for ekko to leave behind to show how badass he is (purely, still plays that role in some aspects), she's meant to remind him that his jinx, flaws and all, is worth loving and "saving." we love ppl bc of all their fucked up little bits and pieces not in spite of them
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sapphicslut777 · 17 days ago
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dykes of the world etc.,,, if you EVER wanted a piece of this hot ass,,, SPEAK NOW OR FOREVER HOLD YOUT GODDAMN PEACE
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vaguely-concerned · 2 months ago
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rook x lucanis: romance with a commentary track! solas and spite contribute with their thoughts and opinions along the way whether anyone wants them to or not. it's like a MST3K episode up in here as you try to get hot and heavy. in. in the pantry. love among the radishes at the end of the world (rifftrax version)
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chelseasdagger · 9 months ago
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hi just wondering if any of you have any disabilities and a partner that knows of them and still supports you each day? my own mental disabilities are… debilitating and i often spiral and wonder if someone could still love me in spite of them
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ace-but-not-a-pilot · 11 months ago
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I wish I was better at speaking my mind
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roboraindrop · 1 year ago
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I hope one day that I, too, can be loved for all that I am, including my flaws.
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dutybcrne · 1 year ago
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I like to think Furina was human prior to becoming Archon, send post
#hc; furina#//No I will not elaborate#//...#//Ok maybe a lil bit; what if Egeria gave her favorite little opera singer the Gnosis to safeguard before heading to Khaenri'ah#//Bc Furina loved the nation as much as she did; even had her own ideas on how to maintain the nation's strengths#//The Oratrice was Furina's idea of how to preserve Egeria's strength should the goddess fall in the Cataclysm; hence her leaving the gnosi#//In my mind until said otherwise; the Oratrice contains the Gnosis; as Furina does no feel worthy enough to hold it#//It is better used in tandem to Neuvi's strengths; and help run the nation as Egeria would have wanted; she thinks#//Which deffo led Furi to have a massive breakdown after Childe's imprisonment; bc she couldn't comprehend why it would fail#//when it had her Archon's gnosis. And the fact that it DID meant her efforts were flawed and truly Failed her people#//Furi doesn't fault the Oceanids for abandoning Fontaine and her when she ascended to archonhood#//With how much she herself loved Egeria; she would too#//she misses being human so much. But on the bright side; being an Archon means she can better HELP others#//To help her people; to help Neuvillette#//Hell; bc of her functional immortality; she can always be there to stand by him; give him a friend so he'll never be lonely#//That's why she holds onto her role so much; in spite of how hard it gets#//And she will Never step down nor surrender it; not until her dying breath#//Or...a Certain situation calls for it. In which case; she will gladly give it all up
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goldenpeng · 2 years ago
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I'm currently held in a chokehold by ZhongXiao feels. The urge to write a part 2 to the oneshot I did is growing stronger by the second.
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57sfinest · 2 years ago
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17!
17. there should be more of this type of fic/art
okay for art umm i want to see more . women. i need an iv of lilienne & ruby & soona straight into my blood. thanks
for fic i wanna see character analysis type stuff, specifically i wanna see FUCKED UP fics exploring dysfunction between characters more because i eat that shit up. my recent jeanharry fic was my attempt at feeding that niche. umm and also if we can all go super autism mode on worldbuilding/lore i love that shit also i wrote 2 fics in a week about the pale alone and i want MORE
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problemeule · 4 months ago
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love when someone’s like “not [character] friendly” and it’s clearly just because this character had the audacity to be imperfect and also a woman
#idk maybe I’m jumping to conclusions when I’m not even a quarter into this fic#but so far all this chatacter has done is be a woman and date one half of the author’s ship#like she’s not behaving perfectly. she’s flawed and ultimately I think the relationship doesn’t work out precisely because of the#incongruence between the woman(TM) and her love interest#*the relationship fails due to this in congruence in canon not in the fic. is what I wanted to add but forgot bc Tired#and like. yeah she’s not behaving perfectly well but so far she seems fairly reasonable. jumping to some conclusions (incorrect and a bit#whack) but??? how’s that make her a bad person#her love interest in this fic is explicitly (!!!) aware he has feelings for someone else and dates her in spite of it!!!!#he dates her out of a feeling of obligation mixed with a dose of comphet#that’s a fairly shit thing to do to someone#and she explicitly asks. in this early part of the fic I’ve read sos far. if there’s even room for her in his life#because a lot of it is occupied by the guy he’s in love with. and he basically goes ‘yeah we’ll just have to take it slow :)’#my brother in Christ. what are you expecting to happen here.#I get that that’s The Whole Point of the Fic#but by god. I wish it wasn’t at the cost of this woman whose only real crime so far is existing and thinking this guy is hot & nice#lmao. listen I’ve slept 8 hours total in the last two nights I’m not doing great so I might be over interpreting here#especially since I’m still not far into the fic.#but it’s Giving Misogyny so far I gotta be honest
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effrvsnt107 · 7 months ago
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Janice Fife if you were in a well written show i would not be your only fan and defender. Everyone say thank you Dolly Wells because homegirl gets 0 credit for the performance and life she brought to an otherwise one note and bland TV show
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sciderman · 7 months ago
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youre valid but actually vaginas are gorgeous. could stare at them all day. I should pack up everything and become a gynaecologist
Peter likes his balls like he likes himself, freely swinging around.
Oh god....does Peter have a saggy sack?
i wish i was informed enough to offer any kind of knowledgeable take on this but this falls entirely outside of my jurisdiction as someone who has never seen a nutsack
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theamazingannie · 2 years ago
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Sad that the only anti-gaylor post that seems to have broken contagion and got a bunch of notes is from someone who hates swifties because not only have the worst of us become our reputation (which happens everywhere so I shouldn’t be surprised) but we can’t even have a conversation about how she’s a straight woman without people talking shit about her in other ways. Someone was saying making her queer “justifies their shit music taste” but we can like her amazing songwriting without being delusional. It’s just so exhausting to have to keep fighting for this
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angelltheninth · 3 months ago
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The status said "requests open" & TWST is currently the hyperfixation ravaging my autistic brain, so I propose the following!!
(If this is too many characters tho; I mainly just want Leona, Malleus, Azul & Jamil.)
The Overblot boys accidentally blurting out will you marry me? to the Reader who is doing something completely benign but it warms his heart as he realizes he's head over heels.
You're just so kind & warm, but not that sickeningly sweet naivete that makes them scowl. No, you're aware of the bad in the world— but in spite of it, you show him that kindness. Sure, he's lost his temper or just been rude to you out of frustration, but you don't take it lying down nor do you shut him out. You're understanding without being condescending. You make him feel wanted & seen & sincerely appreciated, even with all his flaws and bad habits.
(Bonus: he backtracks out of embarassment, but Reader gently teases him about that mushy response, subtly implying they're open if he manages to get the nerve to go for it.)
Cute as hell oh my god!
Pairing: Leona Kingscholar, Azul Ashengrotto, Jamil Viper, Malleus Draconia x Fem!Reader
Tags: fluff, accidental marriage proposal, kiss, being flustered, date night, cuddles
Ko-Fi | Rules | Fandoms and Characters
A/N: I wouldn't hesitate to marry them. All four of them.
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Leona was half asleep when he asked you to marry him, you would have missed it entirely if you weren't cuddling up against his chest when it happened. He tried to convince you this was just a dream, he would never be tied down and you can't make him. This is all very redundant given that he was the one who proposed to you, so in actuality he wants to be called yours doesn't he? He does, he can't deny it now, and before he tries to backtrack, your answer is a yes.
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Azul asked that on a contract as a joke asking you if you would sign a contract like that. The last thing he expected was for you to sign it in a heartbeat and ask him where's he's putting his name. For a man who makes as many deals and contracts as he does he is rarely rendered speechless and stunned by someone else, he stared at the paper, blinking rapidly. He couldn't believe you were so ready to marry him, you must love him more than you let on.
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Jamil always teases you with fake marriage proposals so you begin saying no every time just to see what he'd do next. Of course he takes this as a challenge to try to get you to say yes, which becomes sort of a contest between the two of you, to see who will fold first. To get an edge up on you when he asks you he kisses you to stop you from saying no, little did he know that you were about to say yes. When you tell him that he asks you again, excited, but you say no again.
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Malleus blurted it out while you were running your hands through his hair and massaging the base of his horns. It felt so good, he was so relaxed and completely lovestruck by you so the words fell from his lips before he could stop them. Immediately he starts apologizing, panicking, he doesn't know what he was thinking or if he was even thinking. His cheeks grew a bright pink, his pointy ears too but instead of laughing you kissed him, you would love to be his bride.
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thepixelblender · 7 months ago
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I will now confidently inform the board that this post was about seil chang of buried stars and he did NOT disappoint I love a petty bitch entangled in the emotional complexities of his own failure desperately clinging onto the strings like struggling in quicksand and unable to face reality either way
a reoccurring flaw of mine is that a videogame will present me with a bespectacled male character whose concept ties to envy spite and entitlement with -2 redeeming qualities and it activates the In Depth Media Analysis Of The Stupidest Variety part of my brain
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messiahzzz · 1 year ago
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i have seen several posts around that addressed how discouraging gale from taking the crown of karsus is “keeping him from realizing his true potential.” that tara is merely upset at his choice, instead of being utterly devastated at the loss of her little love. that it’s not a bad ending per se because to get there he didn’t need to sacrifice 7000 innocent souls in the process. gale isn’t continuing the cycle of abuse either, he still appears to love tav and does come back for them to offer them ascension. he wants them to be equal, so it can’t possibly be an unhealthy dynamic, right?
but what of gale himself, his own convictions, values, and everything he holds dear? everything flawed and human that shaped him into the person he is?
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player: are you saying you want to ascend? claim godhood?
gale: no, not like that. i don't want to join them. i want to better them. a god's powers, paired with a mortal conscience, a mortal heart.
gale’s motivation for acquiring godhood is that he will able to aid mortals in a way no other god has ever done before. he won’t hide behind pretense nor require blind devotion of his followers. he will understand and be able to empathize. he wholeheartedly believes that he will be different - he will act.
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gale: [..] the gods could aid us if they wished, but instead they cower behind ao. so let us act ourselves.
gale believes that by becoming a god he will kill two birds with one stone: aid mortals and acquire enough power to quash any of his insecurities and enemies in the process. that by ridding himself of every perceived flaw he'll finally feel like he will have enough to offer - maybe, just maybe he'll even be content. his flaws are merely holding him back from becoming the best version of himself, and by ridding himself of everything fallible, he will be whole. maybe this is what all of his suffering has led up to. maybe the orb chose him. maybe the reason he had to endure all the pain, isolation, and excruciating loneliness was so that he could realize that he was meant for something even greater. after all, power feeds ambition. and what is more powerful than a god? his convictions were certainly naive, he possesses enough knowledge to know better. don't get me wrong, part of him definitely wants to spite mystra a lil. but his intentions at that time were mostly pure. a reflection of his self-hatred and feelings of inadequacy.
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player: this is wrong, gale. that power will corrupt you, even if you can seize it.
gale: it won't, i swear to you. it's merely a tool - a means to an end.
once we meet gale at the party in his new godlike form, it is apparent that even with all the power at his fingertips, he has reached no greater knowledge about himself. his insecurities are still as present as before, he merely is less subtle in his compensation - repeatedly highlighting his grandeur and how dull life on faerun is compared to the wonders of elysium. it is also genuinely crushing to see how little he thinks of himself even now.
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gale: i was nothing. a drifting dust mote of a wizard, abandoned by my goddess, my powers lost, my reputation destroyed. and look at me now. i'm their proof.
any perceived dismissal of his Greatness™ is met with immediate disdain.
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gale: a bold decision to treat a divine being with such cold indifference.
nodecontext: aloof, annoyed you weren't impressed with him
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gale: you mortals do love to live dangerously, don't you?
nodecontext: the slightest hint of a threat - you've probably made an enemy here today. or at least, you've lost a friend.
he is still desperate to impress. emphasizing what an honor it is that a new-born god chose to bless their little soiree with his presence. gaze upon all his divine glory! gale has now become the embodiment of everything he criticized about the gods. his original intentions and plans are discarded and long forgotten. he assuages his erstwhile companions by telling them to simply pray to him, in case they should ever require aid. if they're lucky and their ambition pleases him, he might even deliver.
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player: what does the 'god of ambition' offer to his followers?
gale: i 'offer' them nothing. i inspire them to seize their destinies for themselves.
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player: interesting, so you help mortals help themselves?
gale: precisely. though that isn't to say i'm averse to the odd bit of direct encouragement.
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gale: [..] my aims are set a little higher than offering cursory blessings to just any half-decent spellcaster.
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gale: regardless, ethical quandaries are more the remit of my mortal devotees. they do love to talk, and faerun is starting to listen.
aiding "any half-decent spellcaster" is unbefitting of his status. he isn't concerned with questions of ethics and morality either. deeming such matters beneath his divine capabilities.
once gale has ascended and established his domain, what remains of the gale we knew? what of his mortal heart?
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minthara: your ambition is not cruel, but you fear that if you indulge it, you will lose yourself in the mysteries of the weave and unravel the world.
minthara: you are afraid of so many things, and it is that fear that keeps you true to yourself.
gale did lose himself and ultimately became one of his biggest fears. considering that his existence as a being of pure ambition leads him to constantly seek out greater heights, it isn't farfetched to believe that raphael's prediction will indeed come true.
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player[astarion]: ambition? finally, a god i can get behind...
gale: i assure you, this is merely the prelude to a far grander vision. elysium's in for something of a shake-up.
all that remains of gale is a thin veneer of the person he used to be. what he presents is a hollow echo of the old gale. he does retain some of his mannerisms and quirks, but he is definitely a lot colder and more condescending. if his personality already changed that drastically after a duration of only 6 months, what will he inevitability turn into when he has eternity at his disposal?
essentially, you are aiding gale in the eradication of himself. eradicating everything about him that made him into the loveable, charismatic, awkward, kind, buoyant person he was. everything about him that he perceived as defective, flawed, and lesser-than. before, his hubris was merely an expression of his own discontentment and low self-worth, but now he is hubris incarnate. all of his worst qualities have been amplified.
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gale: i am ambition incarnate. as indistinguishable from that most potent sensation as mystra herself is from the weave. and word is spreading.
nodecontext: palpable, almost unsettling excitement from him - hint of megalomania
he put his trust in tav, trusting their judgment and relying on them to nudge him in the right direction. after all, they had plenty of opportunities to show him that they are an ally worth following and confiding in. but in the end, the prospect of what he could be, the things he could give them, the enemies he could yet conquer, won over the desire to simply accept him and help him rebuild a life on solid ground. tav denied him the unconditional love he craves most out of their own selfish desires.
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tara: you were looking out for him. i expected better of you.
as i've already mentioned, gale desires nothing more than to be seen, accepted, loved, and valued. having a partner who wholeheartedly supports and believes in him is enough to make him feel content. most importantly - he just wants to live. to enjoy life with everything it has to offer. his ambition can’t be quenched because he hungers still. believing that only by acquiring more power will he finally be enough and reach said acceptance.
we see in his good ending that his own contentment was even able to influence and (temporarily) sate the orb's ever-present hunger:
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gale: [..] or perhaps the orb's hunger was fuelled by my own, and my contentment influences it in much the same way.
gale: that's how i feel with you - content. it's a rather unfamiliar feeling, i must say. not something gale of waterdeep ever craved.
it is devastating that he doesn't reach the same feeling of fulfillment if he chooses to pursue godhood, and is instead compelled to continuously surpass his own accomplishments. not being granted rest or reprieve.
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gale: i achieved everything we hoped i would, and still i'm not good enough for you?
gale pursuing godhood isn't evidence that he "has been evil all along" or that he "just waited to be unleashed" either. we can't diminish tav's influence in this outcome, they are after all an extension of the player. able to steer every companion toward a path of redemption or to enable them in their worst traits. fandom has already established that by letting astarion ascend you are actively supporting him in becoming the very thing he despises most, putting your own ambitions and idea of what you want him to be above his healing, this is no different.
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tara: the gale i knew wasn't like this. he recognised his mistakes. he was contrite. all he wanted to do was live.
tara: unfortunately, he fell into company that turned his gaze towards foolishness. yes, i mean you.
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player: gale is his own man, tara.
tara: false. he was mine. though now he belongs only to his own pride.
yes, the epilogue cutscene is beautiful and there is something bittersweet and romantic about his love for tav being one of the few emotions that remained a constant throughout the past 6 months. he didn't need to come back for them, but he did cause he loves them still. no matter how warped his definition of love may be now. while it is abundantly clear that tav ranks lower on his priority list than they did before, his commitment remains.
gale fears isolation, hoping to never return to the time when he was hopeless and alone, stuck inside his tower. by heading in this direction he is once again creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.
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tara: [..] if i pretended you hadn't turned tail on every lesson you set out to learn, i'd have no right to call myself your friend.
morena may as well have already resigned herself to her son’s death. elminster partly blames himself. for his lapse in judgment, as well as being the one who plucked him from obscurity in the first place. mourning the kind, bright-eyed boy who cried at the scorched roses in his neighbor's garden. tara won't be here anymore to care and look out for him either. he has lost his oldest and dearest friend, the one who witnessed his downfall from grace and never left his side. who believed him to be the finest mind AND the finest wizard she's ever had the pleasure to know. who was certain that he’d find a way out of any crisis no matter the circumstances. ...and if tav declines his offer to ascend with him? what does he have left?
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gale: yes, i am rather radiant, aren't i?
tara: don't flatter yourself, gale. you've debased yourself in ways i could never have fathomed.
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tara: goodbye gale, i hope the heavens are worth it.
gale’s godhood ending deals with the loss of humanity, the loss of oneself, and everything one holds dear. it is a devastating and bone-chilling narrative. it is a tragedy.
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gale: i hope you don't think less of me. great ambition should not come at the expense of what you already hold dear. i see that now.
if gale could see himself, he would be horrified at the losses he deemed necessary to get here. he would be horrified at what he’s become.
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