#i want to be an artist in 2024. my goal is to not quit.
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not gonna do one of those "year in review" art things. but i will say this, even though this was a tough year, im really happy and the things i did end up drawing. lots of little things and comics. just doodles and the occasional piece. just things that made me happy. next year i want to continue that, i just wish and hope i'll continue to draw and that i'll make things i genuinely enjoy. i wanna go into 2024 with a smile. :)
#mikutimetalk#happy almost new years everyone!#i have some other things i could probably say regarding what i want for my art#like to learn perspective again#rundowns on anatomy#brushups and whatnot#coloring and experimentation#and to continue drawing things with backgrounds#but other than that i just want to draw#theres been a couple of times this year where ive just sat and considered the fact maybe i'll never make something ever again#maybe i won't be an artist#and i dont think i could live with myself if that were the case#i dont want anything standing in my way#i dont want any hardship or tough time hindering my relationship with self expression#i want art to be with me for the long haul#not just to talk about it but to actually show off what ive done#i want to be an artist in 2024. my goal is to not quit.#i'm gonna make another new years post that isnt about goals when the clock strikes 12#but for now. its just about art
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Hello,
Here is the life update of my past 4 years.
I began this blog many years ago in 2012 when I was only 14 years old, and I then slowly gained the courage to start posting art at 17 when I joined the K fandom. It's wild to think that I am now 25!
I was never quite consistent in posting since I only shared my art here whenever I felt like it, but it slowed down ever so gradually to basically 1 post a year for Yata’s birthday. This blog helped me with my fear of showing my art to others as I was incredibly embarrassed of my work for a really long time.
I soon moved to the USA from my homeland and attended animation school for 1 year, and then studied illustration and visual development for 4 years and I managed to accomplish many things I never could have imagined. I graduated with honors this past May, was selected by the faculty and head of department as my major’s trustee scholar, completed my 84-page art book thesis, got a few pieces into the Society of Illustrators, and my school even shot a mini docu-film about me, my art and my life where I got to share my upbringing. Art school was very demanding and at times tough but I managed to get a lot out of it :)
In July of this year, I moved to California from Florida and I’m much happier than I’ve ever been. I come from a very small country so I never expected to get this far in the art world. I drew Yata for fun in my bedroom whenever I wanted to and now I’m in LA breaking into the animation industry (receiving my first credit too!)
the drawings I share here are a very very small part of the illustrations I make weekly. I wish I could share them with everyone as I’m very proud of them but I enjoy separating my fandom life from my real life a little too much! Surprisingly I am working as a background artist at the moment despite never drawing backgrounds in this blog lol. I think many of you would be surprised at how different my work is from irl!!
It hasn’t always been great, so I don't want to make it seem like it's been all perfect. I’ve had many hard times too and at the moment I am extremely homesick since I haven't returned home in a long time but I think these are needed sacrifices.
However, I'm excited for 2024. I'm looking forward to growing as an artist and my goal is to continue to have fun with art as much as I have right now. I think I’m lucky to have a great support system including my best friend @fuurais who has been by my side for 10+ years and I managed to convert into a K artist too <3
Thank you for the support, for the kind messages, and for the excitement every time I post. I am always happy when I think of this blog and the friends I made. I unironically think about Yata every day as he is past being my comfort character tbh. I am currently writing this with full-on orange hair that I've had for a few years now lol.
I don’t think I’ll be as active as I was at 17 but I will try to not ghost this blog completely. There are a lot of things I haven’t drawn yet that I really want to do and I'd love to share those drawings with everyone.
Lots of love -
Tael <3
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Free VFX & Consultation for NaNoRenO 2024 Jammers!
Hey everyone! I hope you've had a great time participating in NaNoRenO this year! I'm Nai from Make Visual Novels, though I imagine more of you know me either through our live team building events in DevTalk, or from the other jams and competitions I run. I wanted to let you guys know that, for a limited time, I'm offering free consultations for jammers participating in NaNoRenO2024. With those consultations, I'll also be creating VFX for your title screens to help you make a stronger first impression.
So you might be asking...
Why would I even want a consultation, Nai?
Something went really wrong and you want to know how to fix it .
Something went really right and you want to know how to take advantage of it.
You had an objective that you got close to, but couldn't quite hit it.
You want to go Pro with developing VNs, and you'd like guidance.
You feel lost in some part of the process, and need help setting goals for your circumstances.
You tasted VN Dev, you can't imagine a life without it, and you want tools, resources & opportunities.
Okay, but why you?
I've spent nearly a decade supporting and coaching visual novel developers reaching their personal and professional goals.
I've read over 500 indie visual novels. I know what your peers are doing, and where they are succeeding and where they're struggling.
I run & judge for the largest sponsored visual novel development competition. That 500 was a conservative estimate.
My network includes VN engine & game developers, game, book, comic & VN publishers, merchandise providers & manufacturers, marketing professionals, crowdfunding experts, professional programmers, illustrators, animators, graphic designers, VFX artists, 3D Artists(specifically modelling, texturing, rigging, and lighting) editors, pixel artists, Live2D capable artists, authors, narrative designers, translators, composers, musicians, singers, casting directors, voice actors (so many voice actors).And, probably most importantly, people who are living the experiences you're looking for.
In short: If I don't know the answer and/or can't come up with a solution to your very specific goals, I know someone who can.
I'm in. Now what?
To be eligible for the free consultation and the VFX, you need to have a game submitted to the NaNoRenO 2024 jam page and follow its rules.
Having a list of questions to ask is a good idea. Having goals is an even better one. If you don't have goals, we can work on setting them.
For best results, you or a team representative should be present for the consultation. These are conducted between 6:00 PM and 9:00 PM ET on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
Message me over on Discord (discord:naidriftlin) or in DevTalk(https://discord.gg/devtalk) to set up a time and day.
Some things to keep in mind:
Don't ask me to roast your game/be brutal. I don't do that. I can provide critique with suggestions and examples.
These consultations will be conducted live on https://twitch.tv/makevisualnovels. My viewers are typically your peers and VN industry folks, and usually not exceeding 10 concurrent viewers. A VOD recording will be provided to you to download for 30 days afterwards.
The free VFX for your title screen is eligible for those who complete the consultations. It will be tailored to your existing title screen visuals and delivered afterwards. I may opt to stream and record the process of making them.
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2024 Book Review #71 – The City and the City by China Mieville
Mieville is one of those authors whose influence and artistic shadow I’m far more familiar with than the guy himself or his actual work. I read Perdido Street Station years and years ago (quite good, not as clever as it thinks it is and has let’s say Issues with gender, I would have been better served reading it without knowing all the hype) and I got about halfway into Railsea at some point in university (a great central aesthetic and cute conceit sadly does not sustain an entire book of otherwise uninspired pastiche), and otherwise? I’ve just read and enjoyed far more stuff that cites him as an inspiration or is writing in the whole New Weird tradition (name now at least a decade out of date) that he was one of the big names establishing. So this is me doing a bit to rectify that imbalance, and also trying to fail a bit less comically at my literary fiction reading goal before the year ends. It served both ends neatly, and as a bonus was even a pretty decent read.
Tyador Borlu is a detective of the Extreme Crime Squad in the vaguely Balkan city-state of Beszel who, as detectives in novels inevitably due, gets himself hopelessly entangled in the case of a young woman murdered under murky and improbable circumstances. The investigation leads inevitably to the conclusion no one wants to deal with – that this is a cross-border case, and that Tyador will need to chase the trail of corruption and conspiracy into the neighbouring and overlapping city of Ul Quoma. Only by working with officers from both the mirrored cities police forces is there any hope at all to get to the truth beyond all the hints of a secret conspiracy pulling the strings of both and murdering to cover its tracks.
Which is to say, this is a fairly standard detective story plot that often seems there mostly to explore, poke at, and examine the implications of the lovingly detailed high concept setting. Beszel and Ul Qoma are the true stars of the show here – two cities with their own languages, cultures, histories and governments, even their own borders and economic trajectories, that by odd coincidence happen to cover the same geographical area. A Beszel street might run along an Ul Qoman park, and but every driver on it would simply unsee the families enjoying themselves walking or playing in it. They do not notice the rattling of a train in a another city merely because it happens to run directly above their apartment – or if they do, they’re trained and educated since birth to show absolutely no sign of it. The two cities are separate and foreign to each other, no matter the fact that their residents walk by each other on busy streets every day. This is enforced by popular agreement, by centuries of tradition and, n a pinch, by Breach – the shadowy and opaque secret police empowered and respected by the authorities of both cities as an independent and almost occult boogeyman, there to keep the two nations firmly separated from each other.
Which is an absurd and fantastical a premise as any of Mieville’s other books on the face of it, but he really has put in the work here. The cultures of the two cities both seem real and distinct, and painstacking care has been taken figuring out exactly how all this would work day-to-day with mid-2000s technology. It’s still asking for some heavy suspension of disbelief, to be sure – but once you accept the premise the book never does anything to really throw you out of it with egregious implausibility. If everyone wanted things to work like they’re presented as, if feels like they probably could – and the ways they couldn’t are each acknowledged and given some level of justification or another (or, if not, made into whole plot points).
So yes, this is a very Theme-First novel. It’s never really didactic, and one absolutely never gets the sense of Mieville getting up on a soapbox to lecture at you, but then he really doesn’t have to. The setting makes the point about nationalism – about how lethally hard and sharp borders that exist only in the human mind can be – quite clearly without too much elaboration. Which is really my preference for getting these things across.
In the interview at the end of the book that I very lightly skimmed through, Mieville calls this fundamentally a crime novel more than anything else, which feels difficult to disagree with. It’s honestly kind of fascinating to see his politics – which generally come through quite loud and clear. Read Perdido Street Station and then take one guess what stance his history of the Russian Revolution takes – get absolutely buried under the expectations and requirements of a hardboiled police mystery. There’s still the same cynicism towards political establishments and assumption of corruption as always, but it’s frankly weird to read the avowed Trotskyite write a story where the happy ending is the protagonist is recruited into the secret police. Or just all the blase matter-of-fact narration about the use and usefulness of beating prisoners, informants providing private records on demand, a general surveillance state, and so on. It’s all of a piece with the rest of the genre’s trappings, of course – the general cynical view of the world, the fact that the most personally admirable character is the girl whose already dead on page 1, and the fact that the books central relationships are three different iterations of the natural and sacred bond between a cop and his partner. The genre emulation is really pretty note-perfect, and I’m not quite sure if this is good in terms of getting out of the way and letting the themes and setting taking centre stage or if it ends up muddling and confusing them.
It does save the book from the very common failure state of setting-heavy novels that end up feeling like tourism brochures, at least.
Truthfully the most interesting part of reading this for me was how the ~15 years since publication have left it feeling like a bit of a period piece. The whole vibe of the book and the Europe it presents is just incredibly mid-aughts in ways both obvious and hard to explain. The Twin Cities themselves, of course – the whole conceit obviously owes a lot to the collapse of Yugoslavia and the wars that followed (the talk about the difference between the cities’ languages feels like it was taken 1:1 from people talking about Serbian and Croatian), with more than a dash of divided Berlin in inspiratio n (it seems less than accidental than the more Western and pro-American Beczel has a much more Germanic vocabulary for things whereas Ul Qoma is a melange of Slavic and Turkish). There is, throughout the book, a sense that these carefully and lovingly maintained divisions between cities and peoples are an anachronism, a rough spot that cannot long withstand being smoothed out by the homogenizing tides of globalization and the convenience of international commerce. More directly – the backdrop to the plot is the economic boom a former Eastern Bloc state is going through since opening itself up enthusiastically to foreign (western) investment, and the plot itself involves a corrupt conspiracy between a pro-business Social Democrat, an American tech company, and the easily duped ultranationalist thugs as muscle. It all speaks so deeply to the assumptions and trends of the world that hadn’t quite shaken off the hangover of the Cold War and for which the Great Financial Crisis was still over the horizon.
Even the book’s portrayal of politics has this feel. The vaguely-alt-left Unificationists and the assorted far-right ultranationalists are all portrayed as hopeless lost-causers; potentially dangerous (more the latter than the former) and useful tools in the hands of those who know what they’re doing, but on their own nothing but bitter old men and deluded kids who refuse to accept how the world works – radicals who the real powers leave be because they have infiltrators in every group, and anyway if they ever had a chance of success they’d be rolled up before they even realized it. Real power is the chamber of commerce and the established parties, the police apparatus and foreign corporations – the avatars and defenders of capital and the status quo. Even the plot itself – the revelation that the secret conspiracy which might overthrow everyone’s understanding of their history and their nations is just a smuggling operation that’s gotten out of control preying on the naivete and idealism of a young genius – feels so very End of History. It’s kind of charming, really.
Anyway yes – enjoyable read. Never really set me on fire and nothing about it has really gotten stuck in my head? But glad I read it, and have no real complaints about doing so.
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Quote from 2023:
I want to see my love of art reflected in next year’s summary; whether it be through more completed long-time projects, more original art, or more experimentation. Also, improving my fundamentals like better anatomy, posing, lighting, etc. The future is uncertain, and the horrors persist…but so will I 😈
I persisted BINCH!!!!!
Okay, so I didn't draw every month. Who cares. I actually had a lot of fun with my art this year, did so many full color illustrations, and managed to start one of my long-time projects. I think that joining Art Fight really helped. Not only has it encouraged me to explore creating and developing my own characters, it was so rewarding to gift art directly to people who spent so much love and time on their OCs!
I think that because of the shock from the events of my 2023 and trying to fill the void in my heart after the pokemon anime with satoshi ended, i cycled through quite a few fandoms this year. It's been fun, and really pushing me to adapt to and try different styles. My fundamentals still need work, but I'm working on not avoiding difficult poses/compositions and instead attempting them even if they end up wonky!
Also...I'm aware I didn't post more than half of these on tumblr...maybe I should just for archival purposes ^^; I've kinda gotten over my 'if it doesn't perform numbers on sns, it's not good' mindset, but I think I'm still trying to get over the 'people know me for one thing, and idk how they'll feel if i stop making content for that one thing' mentality. NGL, I still want that external validation from having my art recognized, but making art that I'm personally proud of is still my main priority. Bah, add that to my goals for next year.
A lot of life events (mostly positive!) in 2024 also led me to do some other artistic pursuits like...
nail art
sewing (i made that!!! and it has pockets!!!)
cosplay (even managed to squeeze in a last minute casual tifa cosplay lol)
and even video editing!!! (I won't post...for now... but if you know my youtube, you know... lol)
Anyways, I hope to continue this creative energy and motivation into the next year. I realized that I'm not gonna get anywhere by just standing still, so even if I don't show that progress publicly, I want to keep practicing and improving! Rather than only moving with bursts of inspiration, it'd be nice if I could go back to consistency, because I know that ultimately, that's the only way I'd be able to tackle my larger projects. I'm also very likely to join Art Fight again in 2025, so maybe...flesh out a story or design for an OC?? Quite ambitious, but cautiously optimistic for the future!
art fight character credits (july): curlymedusa, MuscleHakase, Helimations
#i ranted a lot in the actual post so let me say this here:#Thank you so much to everyone who keeps supporting my silly creative pursuits and interests#Like I'm serious I think it was a huge motivation factor in my art this year and my healing journey in general#summary of art#summary of art 2024#my art#it me
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HEADMASTER JUNIORS IN THE 40TH ANNIVERSARY MUSIC VIDEO
!!!!!!!!!!!!! I KNOWWWW I SAW FIRST THING WAKING UP TODAY I LITERALLY FLIPPED TF OUTTT 😭😭😭‼️‼️‼️ LIKE NOT ONE BUT MULTIPLE MASTERFORCE REFERENCES IN 2024.....WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE FR 😭💗💗💞❤️✨‼️🔥🫶✨
wait I'm gonna take fhis opportunity to gush about the video its 1 am im only half awake there will probably be typos sorrY
..
Genuinely would have been ecstatic with just a god ginrai in the bg and I honestly didn't even expect as much but man oh MAN did they give us so much more than that 🥳🥳
oh but lemme say ginrai SLAYEDDD HE LOOKED SO AMAZING AND COOL I was literally squealing "YES GO MY SILLY GOOOO" like the Dork that I am when he was out there doin the exkaiser sword pose w the others 🫶🫶🫶🫶 EEEEEE
and also!!! Let us NOT forget ofc all the other TF series and leaders and characters and such getting their time in the spotlight and the MANY little references to all kinds of stuff everywhere and.....!!!!!! Like I have so much respect for that video 🥹 it's such a detailed, wonderful tribute to everything transformers has been, is, and continues to be. Themes of connections literal and metaphorical and the power and beautythat comes from it. UFFF and Everything was so pretty and wonderful to look at and (ノ≧∇≦)ノ ミ ┻━┻!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Very happy with it <3333
and also Yes I did have the thought It would have been cool to see the Pretenders (😭) but I also understand its probably hard enough to tastefully fit in all thr characters they did (and plus! Masterforce Mentioned At All is such a huge W youre not hearing Complaints from me 🫡) and also y'know what. maybe. maybe that was for the best because I might have simply combusted into fucking flames if they did that. Like you all think I'm annoying about those guys NOW but if I saw them animated all pretty and shape andshiny and sharp like that.........or.GOD if they had put their human forms in there...........I would need to be restrained is all I'll say
AND y'know what too it actually also fuels me with even MORE willpower than I already have to work for and eventually finish this illustration degree, somehow hopefully make it to a position where I too can make masterforce references in 4k except OFFICIAL and also have the opportunity to be insufferable about my blorbo of all time and space <333333 stupid silly ass dream of mine that may never happen but mark my WORDS if I get even the slightest opportunity y'all.....I want to do a masterforce centric project someday. Like a real one. Something for the world to see at large. I want to do something with it I really really feel like I could......,! I would achieve one of my few life goals/dreams fr......
GOSH ok anyway sorry I went on for quite a while there and then started derailing the topic at hand SORRYY 😭😭😭 but yea man I love transformers I love being a fan of this franchise I love how many thousands of characters and all the stories and universes and stuff there is and how crazy and cool it all is and that it's been a part of my life for most of my life and it's the reason I'm an artist and god that video will have me emotional for a long ass time *wails* good NIGHT 😭🫶❤️❤️🫶💖✨‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
(-kuni 🫣)
#kuni talks#kuni answers#asks#anon asks#transformers#tf#transformers stuff#super god masterforce#masterforce moment òwó 🥺💖✨#<3#random#maccadam#ramble#(lmao)
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Hello friends. I mentioned it might happen and now it’s official—A scrubbed version of All Hail the Underdogs will be published as the third book in my Breakaway Series (aka after LRPD and LYNLTP). I signed the contract today⭐️ ⭐️ so you have a week to go download it (until Jan 30)⭐️⭐️ before my publisher requires that I take it down. A word of warning—I’ve changed the scrubbed version Quite a bit from the original in terms of secondary/background characters; you will recognize none of the old Samwell hockey crew. So if you want The Boys (TM) (and Lardo) go download it now or forever hold your peace.
Questions folks might have:
1. What about Matts or Martel/Okezie’s stories?
Matts will be book 4. I'm working on that now. Martel/Okezie will be book 5.
2. Will you turn any of your other fic into published fiction?
I don’t think so. The check please fics were mostly an excuse for me to play in a hockey sandbox and I relied a lot on headcanons/Fanons when writing. That made them easy to scrub and turn into their own thing. Everything else I’ve written I feel is tied much more closely to the source material (HP, Old Guard, Mandalorian, Sherlock, Bond) so A. It’d be hard to scrub and B. I just want to enjoy fic and let people enjoy my fic and not feel like I need to try and monetize all my writing. Especially now that I have this series I can keep expanding. My goal with publishing at all was to start making a name for myself now so that when I retire (maybe early? depending on how things go) I can write as a second career. I've achieved that, now.
3. After you take it down will you still share downloaded versions if people lose their copy or miss the deadline?
My publishing contract doesn’t allow that, but I’ll make a post just like I did for LRPD where folks with copies can share them with folks who need copies. I’m absolutely not going to hold the story hostage. If you don’t want to pay for the new version, you 100% won’t have to.
4. When will it be published?
Book two will be out in late spring or early summer 2023. Book three will likely be spring of 2024 but nothing official yet considering I just signed the contract today.
5. Will the same cover artist do the art? Provided Jick is still down, yes! We are all about supporting fantastically talented fan artists (and continuity) in this house.
6. Will you keep writing fic?
Of course! I'm writing a new HP fic now and I have a Witcher fic idea percolating. My writing might slow down with Real Life work stuff and publishing stuff, but like...the majority of my friends are here. I learned to write here. I like it here. Why would I leave?
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Weekly Weighing (02/25/24 to 03/02/24)
Here are 7 posts I enjoyed from the week of 02/25/24 to 03/02/2024.
1. https://www.tumblr.com/softjigglyprince/743601282140504065
Let's start off with @broaderstrokes. There's a lot of fat hanging off this superchub, and the lighting and the pose do a lot to highlight every inch of it.
2. https://www.tumblr.com/ryanporker/743443319671095296/alright-these-feel-like-pictures-i-wouldve-found
There's already plenty to like about these images, but the caption really cinched it for me. It's true- this looks very much like a case of achieving gaining goals.
3. https://www.tumblr.com/ginger-binge/743521056791330816/get-more-from-gingerbinge-on-patreon
If you're even slightly into teasing/degradation, this preview will definitely make you consider checking out this encourager's Patreon. Thanks to @ginger-binge for drawing my attention to him
4. https://www.tumblr.com/gaininggalore/743585289569812480/cinnamontoastken
CinnamonToastKen is a YouTuber/Twitch streamer whose content I mostly wouldn't recommend, but his weight gain is something I'm happy to appreciate from a distance.
5. https://www.tumblr.com/thespiderpig1999/743652819444400128/gaming-is-a-gainers-best-friend
I don't believe I've featured @thespiderpig1999 previously. This photo ties into my favorite idle fantasy, the gaining gamer boyfriend. Excellent use of a prop to turn a simple belly shot into something greater.
6. https://www.tumblr.com/naughtynoodle056/743777800843051008/heres-my-list-of-black-gainers-artists-and
I checked out quite a few names from this list of black feedist Tumblr users. Most of their blogs aren't for me, as while I respect and wish well for women into this kink, I'm too gay to want to see regular posting of photos of them. However, this is exactly the kind of list that ought to be spread- a curated list of folks who aren't getting enough exposure without the help. So I'm sharing it for anyone who follows me who might appreciate this sort of thing.
7. https://www.tumblr.com/mattyhalled1/743918037016756224, https://www.tumblr.com/mattyhalled1/743879218317950976/sometimes-i-get-discouraged-with-my-slow-gain-and
I was facing a choice between two gorgeous men with excellent, dramatic before and after comparison photos, and I have elected not to choose. Here they both are in all their glory.
And that’s this week’s Weekly Weighing!
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normal pinned post
About me:
We're a whatever-we-feel-like blog and we don't like having sideblogs. We started as exclusively a serious therianthropy and otherkin community blog in 2020. Then we tentatively dipped our claws into talking about dæmonism. Lately I've been making my own "do you like this song" polls for stuff I didn't get to submit to that gimmick blog. No blog themes here and hopefully I lose my mind the rest of the way and can really start to enjoy having this blog.
RE: my name: I get bored so easily and every other year as well as whenever I'm upset I experience a gnawing compulsion to change my name and consequently have to go around updating everything and informing everyone. To combat this I've decided to just have multiple names. PLEASE feel free to switch it up, that is the goal :> You can call me Ekho, Myriad, CMYK, Cei, or alternatively, anything you want and I may or may not keep it
I'm pretentious in all trades and a college graduate in none. I have trite opinions on erudite subjects. If I start having erudite opinions on trite subjects, take me out back and put me down, I'm sick.
I post bugs. I post bug photos and up-close bug photos. I don't tag them "tw bugs". I don't tag them "horror." No matter what species you think should be the exception. I am literally a bug and this is a neutral and maybe even cool good thing. I will block you if you call me, photos of my species, or posts about my identity "graphic" or "body horror" and I'm not joking.
FAQ: "What is fictionflickering" See here. "I have something mean to say to you" Yay 💖 "I have something nice to say to you" Setting my self on fire ok "I have something nice to say about your art/writing" That's even more me than I am, haven't I suffered enough "I've decided you're not actually (x) for (y) reason" Duly noted, fragmentizing you
I change drastically a lot. It's normal for us. Don't worry about it. I try not to!
Physically not a human. Red-tailed hawk, house centipede, phantasmagorical raven, disordered raccoon, occasional wolverine, possibly other things, holothere that used to not be. Biologically: not quite anything on its own, actually. Psychologically: a lot of things. Perpetually: figuring things out. If you want to know, you can ask.
Favorite pastimes include becoming the very thing I sought to destroy, destroying the very thing I sought to become, romanticizing the tormentuous, metaphorizing the objective, and iNaturalist :>
Least favorite pastimes include art and writing because i am an artist and writer
Audiophagic insect, nyctophonic carnivore, birdthing, feathered quadruped, alive cento, former ghost, satellite that came back wrong, capable of passing the Turing test on a good day, enjoys becoming concepts, undiscovered deep sea invertebrate falling in love with the sky. Constant process of esotericizing.
פֿון טײַך ביזן ים װעט פּאַלעסטינע פֿרײַ זײַן
Current blog title: quote by Alan Watts
Banner is "The Most Unwanted Painting" by Komar and Melamid, part of a satirical series of paintings and songs based on poll results of what people liked and didn't like to see in their art; most people polled disapproved of abstract or modern art.
PFP is just me, by me.
We've also been: swiftfoxn (Nov 2020–Nov 2021) → novachaim (Nov 2021–Feb 2022) → technodance (for like a week) → chrysochus (Feb 2022–Aug 2022) → hraefngeyst (Aug 2022–Feb 2023) → a8c3bc (Feb 2023–May 2023) → stillflight (May 2023–Jun 2024 R.I.P.) → myriadeyed (Jan 2024–Oct 2024 <3) → fallingsatellive (Oct 2024–Dec 2024) → radiocmyk → ???
"LOVE THIS PLACE OR IT WILL KEEP YOU"
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Hello everyone who's followed me here! The poll ended a while ago and it looks like people are interested in doing this so here's the blog where all further information about such a project will be placed!
Due to the fact that I've never run a fandom event before, this is going to take me quite a bit of time to organize, plus I've currently got a lot on my plate irl right now (such as writing and producing a musical from now until the end of the year which I am very hyped about but also I assume it's going to take up a lot of time) so bear with me as I organize my own thoughts before bringing more people on board
In short here's a generalized timeline for things off the top of my head (and is by no means all inclusive or a hard and fast timeline, this is just to give people general expectations)
Now (June 2024) - October 2024: Organizing all the feedback from the comments on the original post, coming up with organizational structures and outlining how many roles would be needed in order to put an event like this together
November 2024-December 2024: Mod applications and interest checks open
January 2025: Interest Check results are released and Mod application results are sent out
February 2025: Mods look over organizational structures, give feedback for how the event is organized, finish getting everything ready for people to contribute to the project
March 2025-April 2025: Sign ups are sent out for writers/artists/betas, distinguishing between people who would like to write pre-blackening arcs and post-blackening arcs (in my mind there would be an application process similar to that of a zine for writers and artists thay would like to create hard and fast canonically referenced events in PIDW but EVERYONE would be open to write general wife number whatever chapters OR Binghe gets massive power up chapters, for those that want to participate but don't wanna write smut, including people that don't sign up within the "event" time frame, allowing PIDW to be an ever changing living document that essentially never has to end however this system would remain open to changes depending on what people would like to see most)
May 2025: Results are sent out for people writing pre-blackening arcs and discord invites are sent out to all participants in the project
June 2025 - March 2026: Creation period, potentially longer or shorter depending on interest check results since the goal would be to create chapters with ridiculously long word counts for the sake of the bit
April 2026-???: Release of the project to ao3, with a new creator's work being posted each week at first and then speeding up to a daily reveal until all works are revealed in the collection, functioning similarly to a hypothetical Airplane's writing schedule
Once again this is all just... REALLY vauge outlines and the speculation of someone that has no idea how long it takes to put on an event like this, I would imagine that in actuality it would take much longer to do so, and life tends to interfere in things in mysterious ways so I would not be surprised if this does not end up accurate to the actual timeline, but just to give people a general idea of when a large scale project like this would be able to take place!
#luo binghe#svsss#scum villian self saving system#project pidw#pidw#proud immortal demon way#timeline#fandom events#fandom
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ART VS ARTIST 2023!
Man, what a year! I read what I wrote for my previous art vs artist in 2022 and thought "wow, how positive I sounded!" A long text ahead - you have been warned!
This year truly was a mix of pure chaos and a quiet void at the same time. Many life changes happened in my first year of adulthood. As I tried to navigate myself in this new environment, I got to experience many things for the first time - I landed my first job, bought my first PC, got to take part in many weddings of my closest friends and family members, went on a trip to another country with my friends and got to meet my work colleagues.
I also isolated myself at home as my home became my work place, developed bad habits of spending all day in front of my PC, lost joy in the work I at first found interesting, lost faith in what I can do and in myself, too. Somewhere along the way, trying to make good, rational, adult decisions, I kind of lost myself. I felt left behind as people moved on to the next stage in their life. I wanted to do art but lost my drive for drawing. I gave up and quit my job, and now I'm slowly getting back on my feet again. I keep reminding myself that it's not the end of the world, even tho for so many people out there the end of their world is happeninig as we speak, every single day.
I came back with full force in December, my will to do art strong and steady, with new plans and goals forming in my head. I am still uncertain about many things I want to do, but I'll never know if any of them work until I try them, right?
Thank you for still sticking with me, despite me being in and out. Seeing my art getting noticed and seeing you reacting to it makes me so happy and warms my heart every single time! To every and each of you, from the bottom of my heart - thank you, for being here, reading this.
I don't have any expectations for the next year, just one request - dear 2024, please be kind to us.
(threw in some of the sketches undercut since I doodled so much in December!)
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Doll Musings and Rambles
So... I got the notification a few days ago that my 1/4 DFH girl body shipped! So I should be getting the body for my Souldoll Aehael soon! It's been about six months, and the body is a custom resin match to Switch Milktea Rose.
I'd like to get a body for one of my other floating heads, too, and I am heavily considering the 1/4 Sprouting Dragon girl body. Rambles photos etc further under the cut.
I wish I had some larger, high-res images offhand, but I don't. It's been hard finding references on instagram (thanks insta for killing tags, makes your platform so useful), but I think this body might be a good fit for my Souldoll Junia or Logandolls Peregrine. What I do know is that Jane's Doll Land is a US-based dealer for a lot Chinese companies, though, and I can get the body in light tan (soom tawny) for $121/$141 shipped from her, so naturally my interest has been piqued. According to Jane's, the neck is ~6.7cm, so I think it should work well for Junia or Peregrine. Both have pretty small necks; Peregrine was sculpted with a minifee body in mind, I believe? I was previously considering a Loongsoul body for Peregrine but unfortunately Loongsoul seems to offer tan very infrequently, and I'm not interested in dyeing a bjd body unless it's the absolute last choice.
Either 1/4 Huajing girl bodies are still in consideration for Peregrine and Junia, but the Magnolia body (or Luts model delf) may ultimately go to my Souldoll Calia... we will have to wait and see. Honestly I am anxious what might go on in regards to the impeding discussion about US tariffs with our trade partners, so I'm not exactly excited at the prospect of ordering much else overseas right now, especially since some of these companies are easily a 5-6 month wait time.
Regarding the last point, I've also been trying to decide what I want to do in regards to Xagadoll's Mizzle.
Mizzle has... kind of sort of been a grail doll of sorts? I remember first seeing her on Mint on Card but I wasn't sure who she was. :v Things never quite panned out when I have wanted to order her in the past, so she simply... just never got here. If it wasn't for the fact she would take months before getting here via preorder and me being impatient, I could have seen Mizzle as being a contender of being my first ball jointed doll. I'm not exactly sure what is the estimated wait time of Xagadoll/Asleep Eidolon is right now, but I imagine it's in the 5-6 month range.
One doll I think might well be a very, very strong contender for my first 2025 BJD purchase though, is Logandolls' curvy elf girl!
Photo from Logan’s instagram! It’s showing off the new hips he sculpted, just in a far smaller scale. She’s absolutely adorable and I think she would be the absolute cutest doll ever. I wouldn't mind adding a tan Logandolls Lark to the crew, either.
But... Unless something big happens like Legranddoll or Summerbird making a come back, or I finally find some of the souldoll heads I am looking for (clodia, please come to me), I think this is a sold, though probably a bit overzealous, “2025 bjd goals/wishlist” of sorts. Besides maybe the sprouting dragon body - I may submit that order still in 2024 😂 Otherwise my other bjd goals are the same they are every year: get more clothes, shoes, eyes, wigs, and faceups done lmao. It would be nice to fit a smartdoll pear girl in there somewhere, although since she would warrant a new wardrobe due to being a new size, I... don't know if I will be fitting her in 2025, but I do hope to (eventually!) get her. Maybe I can justify her if I can get some more sales moved. Who knows, we shall see.
That said, I think my only 2024 purchases are the after-mentioned Doll Family H body (bought ~5 months ago), my almost paid off Littlefee Chloe + tan Vampire Minifee Chloe head, my Magic Mirror Sinead (old promo model, bought from Nanyalin's personal collection), as well as two outfits from Cloversinging from independent artists, and... random clothing bits and bobs from Aliexpress/Ebay/Etsy/etc. I traded for my Calia head from a friend and I bought my Junia head secondhand. Definitely a good amount of things but (probably?) significantly down from 2023 and earlier...
Granted, I did sell a bit of my collection to lessen the financial burden of some pretty big things (ie, wisdom tooth removal, car repairs and ultimately getting a new car), but it's been nice outfitting dolls I already have. The decrease probably has a lot to do with instagram removing recent tags and when facebook sales groups were easily navigable. Truthfully when it comes down to it, though, I think my biggest "bjd-adjacent" dolls is probably getting a nice set up to actually display them. 99% of my bjd-related stuff honestly chills in a box when not getting photos. I kind of want something like an IKEA Billy Bookcase with doors but my house is honestly quite small so I am not sure where a new piece of furniture like that would go right now.
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Citrus' Art Summary 2023!
The year is almost over, so here's my art summary for 2023! I got this template from here. This is my third year in a row being able to populate every month with a finished(/digital) piece (and really, I did a LOT more than what's shown here!), so that feels like something to celebrate!
Technically some of these choices don’t match up with their post dates; I counted some months as “when I was primarily working on them” and some as “when I actually published them,” but the sentiment remains. Like I said, it was a busy year! :)
Some more rambling + links to all featured artwork beneath the cut:
I remember last year I was quite worried about/was actually teetering on the edge of artistic burnout. There were definitely some months during this year that I felt a bit overwhelmed (particularly during the summer, when I was working on a 5-illustration series in a style that was DEFINITELY outside my norm, PLUS a bunch of other stuff), but I also appreciated the stylistic variety, and doing a lot of sketchbook drawings/marginalia that were(/are) just for me, so they never had to be "finished” or even "good." Even though almost everything pictured here is Digimon(/anime) art, I did experiment with a more "realistic" style for the Dracula Daily series (Aug/Sept), as well as trying to relearn the "Disney" style I started drawing in waaaaaaay back in high school, only now with a LOT more understanding of facial structure and anatomy. Largely, this style shake-up has been incredibly freeing (these are still sketchbook-only studies at this point, but I'm planning on some digital illustrations in the Disney style in 2024). I'm sure they still look pretty anime-influenced, and I'm not sure I'll ever truly be able to escape that, but honestly I don't mind; the anime aesthetic IS a part of my preference/style!
Let's see, the prevailing fandoms for what's shown here are Digimon Survive and Adventure 02. I really want to draw more Survive art next year!! Really happy with the collabo between @vidramon and myself (July), and honestly most (if not all) of these pieces. I worked hard, I branched out, I took on some really ambitious projects, and finished a ton of things (looking at you, March! That Knight drawing was a WIP for an entire year, but I finished it instead of abandoning it, which is what usually happens when things sit around that long!). Ultimately, I believe I told (and helped tell!) some great stories through my creative projects and art this year, which is my true goal forever and always.
Honestly I'm happiest with April's drawing. That one was a ton of fun to do, but I would have to work really hard to replicate that coloring style because I don't remember my brushes/settings, ahaha. Sadly this is how it usually goes with coloring for me; I make it up as I go almost every single time, which is why series are so difficult for me. I am nothing if not inconsistent -_-;
I would be remiss to mention that a huge part of my productivity this year was due to setting and tracking monthly goals for myself. I gotta thank everyone on the @campdigimonth server for their help in keeping me organized and motivated throughout the year! I plan on continuing my creative check-in posts in 2024.
Next year, I want to a) make more Survive art (particularly with Survive Week coming up), b) draw some more flippin' gargoyles (CRIIIINGE, but no, cringe is dead, I'mma do what I want!), and c) keep working on my personal project! And I am, once again, thinking about bookbinding. That's a "maybe" for next year as well!
Descriptions and links to the full artwork pictured for each month:
January: Survive Week, Day 5
February: Survive Gang Aromantic Week
March: Knight Unryuuji and Friend
April: “Rose-Tinted” fic illustration
May: Happy Birthday Vi!
June: Happy Birthday Haru Shinkai!
July: Happy 1st Anniversary Survive! (aka BEST SOCK FRIENDS)
August: Dracula, September 13
September: Dracula, September 20
October: Adv 02 Countdown Event, Day 7
November: “Boo!” on the Cob
December: Digimon Secret Santa 2023
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Devlog #34 | 08.27.23
Hi everyone!
Another month has flown by, and we are already entering the month of September soon! It's crazy it's already Fall......... Hope you all have been doing well <3
Since we're getting into the latter half of the year, I wanted to sit down and talk to you about the usual monthly progress as well as do a check in on where Alaris is sitting. This is a longer one, so without further ado, let's dive in, shall we?
Writing
We continue to move forward with writing. But it's extremely refreshing this month since I've Finally moved into Etza's route! Already, the route is feeling relatively different from the past three routes I've been writing---not necessarily because the past three routes are repetitive, but moreso because Etza's route (and the Fae ones moving forward) is very different regarding plot content. I can't say much more than that because then we start getting into spoiler territory. But it's been exciting since Etza, Kuna'a, and Aisa have always been the "final stage" of writing for Alaris to me.
I'm aiming to have Etza's first draft done by the end of next month. We'll check in next month to see my progress, but that's my goal at least! I also wrapped up the finishing touches for Druk's route this past month and moved his onto developmental editing, so we are just moving into New Stages all across the board yay!
Art
Most of my attention was actually on art this month though! Specifically, on finalizing Kickstarter merchandise so I can ship it out. I finished the updated Mermay prints as well as the character postcards.
they r beauty they r grace
I will have some extra prints that I'm happy to send off. Obviously, you will have to pay for them LOL. But if you're interested in any, I'll have an extremely limited stock. Patrons will get first dibs, so if you are interested but aren't subscribed to my Patreon, I'd recommend getting on that for this upcoming month since I will not be restocking the Mermay prints ever again!
We also continued to get backgrounds from Vui. These are spoiler territory, so I will not be showing them this month teehee. But they're beautiful per usual Vui fashion!
Check-In
Now that we're in the latter half of the year, I wanted to talk to you all about overall Alaris progress and some more specific parts of development.
As of right now, we have about 210k written for Alaris (including the demo). And the end estimate is about 350k. For art assets, we have 20 CGs out of an estimated 48 CGs finished and/or sketched out. For BGs, we are on background 18 out of 25. The GUI is for the most part finished, save for some small finishing touches. And we have 6 out of 8 original tracks completely done.
If it's not clear, Alaris will definitely be a 2024 release rather than an end of 2023 release, which may be disappointing news for those of you eager for Alaris. But realistically, even if I make absolutely cracked progress on the assets from now until the end of the year, I would still need time to polish the full game, especially considering how long it took me to polish intertwine for Otojam, which was significantly smaller. And that's excluding my team members, who I don't want to force into a crunching position. All that being said, I hope to get some playable content to you all before the end of the year, namely the updated demo and maybe Kayn's beta build!
I wanted to take a moment to mention one thing concerning the updated demo. As you all may know from past devlogs, I've updated many of the assets for the enhanced demo. Initially, I had wanted to release the updated demo quite a while back, but there was one set of assets that ended up getting held up in production. For full transparency, since I've talked about the updated demo for a while but haven't been able to show much more progress beyond that, I wanted to touch on (generally) why it's been held up, mainly because I don't want you all to think I'm just Not Delivering on it!
My GUI artist is the same person who made the Alaris logo (re.Alice). She's wonderfully talented, which is why I wanted to work with her for the Alaris GUI as well! As many may know, sometimes life happens and so without getting into any specifics, this is what has been holding up the enhanced demo since I haven't been able to update and code in the new GUI.
Based on recent updates from Alice, I'm hopeful that I'll be receiving the new GUI this upcoming month, and I'd love to release the updated demo (T e n t a t i v e l y) in October! Of course, when the September devlog comes around I'll be able to update you all more concretely. But I wanted to communicate where things currently (and have been) standing since I've been wanting you all to experience the updated demo so badly but didn't want you all to feel like I've been forgetting about it/dropping the ball on it/etc. etc. etc.
Thank you, as always for being so patient and supportive of me! As we head into this final half of the year (jesus), I hope the progress I've been making behind the scenes for Alaris will start to come to fruition through the enhanced demo and some playable beta builds of the individual routes <3
Market Research
I did ~some~ market research this month, but it's honestly been pretty sparse, mainly because my usual market research time was actually replaced by Jam Time this month.
Specifically, if you didn't get the chance to check them out, I helped with two games this month for a 10 day jam. I think they're both pretty top-notch if I'm allowed to humbly brag since the teams behind them were very talented!
The first is Oblivisci Memorias
After receiving a mysterious request, you create a potion meant to erase memories. But the process is a grueling one, and as you add ingredients to your potion, you may find yourself reminiscing on memories you thought you had long since suppressed.
And the second is Titan Arum
Alone, you find yourself catsitting in your family's new house as they traipse through Europe. But incidents slowly signal to you that something's... off about this house. What story exists behind its walls? And more importantly, are you brave enough to uncover it?
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Does Shonen Jump Really Have to Be the Grand Goal?
"The first place I submitted a manga to was Shonen Jump. I want to brag to the me back then, saying that I’m a Jump challenger now!" - Ken Wakui
Even though I'm in my '40s, I still love Shonen Jump stuff. I grew up on Dragon Ball. From Naruto to Demon Slayer to My Hero Academia to whatever's next, I've been there and will continue to see what Jump does. I remember once upon a time where the future of Shonen Jump was somewhat in question before My Hero Academia blew up.
Yet lately and especially after My Hero Academia and Jujutsu Kaisen ended, I've been thinking about fans who grow up via Shonen Jump series and wanting to be a part of the phenomenon. What if they want to be mangaka for the same magazine that drove their youth?
But what if those same folks got rejected? What if they learned that Shonen Jump isn't the be-it end-all of manga?
The best example of a Shonen Jump rejected mangaka is Hajime Isayama of Attack on Titan. Once told by Shueisha editorial to change things to his story and art in his submission for Attack on Titan, Isayama went to Kodansha Publishing instead. And you can say the rest was history.
Now we have another 2nd example in Ken Wakui, whose hit manga, Tokyo Revengers, became a global phenomenon. He tried to get a manga into Shonen Jump a long time ago, but was rejected. Wakui said that editorial told him to draw his story elsewhere where they would appreciate his interests. Wakui would go on to Kodansha and start off with Shinjuku Swan before creating Tokyo Revengers. He's currently back on Shonen Jump with Astro Royale, which is a story about a young heir to a yakuza family trying to help the world after a meteor hit the planet and gave a lot of people superpowers.
One can argue that Wakui went from, in the theme of WWE Superstar Cody Rhodes, undesirable to undeniable. Astro Royale has only been around since April 2024, but it's clear that Wakui intends to be a main-stay in Jump. He sounded like he always wanted to be a part of Shonen Jump.
And now I think about fans turned artists who aspire to draw for Shonen Jump. Over the summer, I've noticed how many artists tried to pitch manga ideas to manga industry professionals at U.S. anime conventions. Viz Media has taken notice of this demand and started a program for one-shot manga for future manga artists. Yet I sometimes wonder how many of them know what it actually takes to make it to Jump.
And I think about this statement from Takehiko Inoue in an interview alongside Akira Toriyama spotlighting 50 years of Shonen Jump in 2018.
Then I see threads like this one on Reddit about whether it's okay to apply for Shonen Jump after having experience on other platforms like Webtoons.
It sounds like things haven't changed. Some people still find so much value in the Jump brand.
That's why I want to say that it's okay to draw for other publishers and outlets (especially for Japanese creators). The thing is about people who follow Jump (especially here in the West) can be a bit insular with their manga tastes. You get an exciting breadth of manga, but it's not the full picture. There's also exposure to some of the nasty aspects of shonen fandom like leak/spoiler culture. Another thing is that fans love to compare shonen titles (past and present) quite a lot. Some are still obsessed with a "Big 3" ideal that isn't highly relevant anymore.
Sure, there's a lot of fame and attention with being associated with Jump. But creators have to deal with the vicious weekly ranking system where deserving stories sometimes get the axe out of nowhere. There's also the problem of trying to end the story the way you want and not being able to because popularity has a curse in where certain plots get throw aside and the main plot gets drawn out longer than it should. I sometimes argue that Shueisha series focus a bit too much on style over substance at times.
That's why I appreciate the American Manga Awards. The staff behind the ceremony have done a great job in acknowledging manga from all genres and publishers (not just Viz Media's Shonen Jump). Mangaka have shown appreciation in knowing that they're being recognized by folks who know the manga world is more than just Jump. Shonen Jump may have started it all for many of us and provided value in our lives. One can use that value in a way to help promote non-Jump and other non-mainstream stories that are worthy of recognition.
The beauty of manga, whether it's the creator side or the fan side, is that there's something for everyone of all kinds of backgrounds. That should be the grand goal to promote when it comes to making manga and showcasing its rich diverseness. Manga comes from all kinds of notable places, not just the brand names.
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Monthly Update - September
Like every month these last few years, I'm always shocked that the next month has come lol. I actually did and didn't meet my traditional art goals last month, and by that I mean I actually did make quite a few pieces with different supplies and I feel that I learned and improved so much. I didn't get as far with watercolors as I wanted, because I found out on my first attempt with them I was vastly unskilled with them and needed even more baby steps! I do plan on revisiting watercolors in the future, so I'll need to pick up a work book for then.
This month I have so many ideas for pieces I'd like to do, as well as get back to ones I started earlier this year. I also joined a mobile wallpaper project which will take some precedence. All the WIPs I've seen have been so nice, I hope you guys like it when it's released!
The main things I'd like to get done before the end of the year, in some kind of chrono order:
1) Snake wallpaper
2) Outers Witches around a cauldron (for Halloween)
3) Triple Moon Goddess
4) Furby Venus
5) New icon and banner
6) Logo work for Vchan
I think this might be a little ambitious of me for the remaining months of 2024 because, and many of you already know this, my physical health is still pretty crap and it just feels worse because it's been so frustrating for me mentally to be less active and having chronic pain. Some days it drives me a little nuts, ngl. I've also been told it's pretty likely my frozen shoulders will be along term recovery since I've already passed the normal recovery time and they aren't improving. The idea of this kind of pain and limited mobility continuing for at least another year is pretty discouraging, so I'm taking the time to give myself more self care and yell at myself when I feel guilty for it.
I've mentioned previously I wanted to do more blog posts and entertained the idea of including reviews and recs on books and other media I've been in to, and that might just become a thing I do since I'm drawing less. These will still be free membership level.
Tarkin's health continues to decline, so streaming is still on hold.
Other than that, the art community feels like it's really taking off on BlueSky. If you're there and want to follow Magical Girl artists, please find my starter pack here for just that purpose: https://go.bsky.app/MvU3rEC Originally posted on Patreon, click here to become a free member!
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