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ifmywishescametrue · 3 years

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omg now im jealous about all of the breaking up and making up stories!!! they're all so wonderful but is it okay to ask for a steve/tony one? i know you've made one inspired by ts (amazing) and this time, maybe they meet/bump in a coffee shop? idk angst potential but also hopeful/happy ending aahhh. your stories are amazing esp ivy!!! thank you! <3

thank you so much!! it ended up being more cute than angsty, but I hope you like it!

Steve's pencil drifts idly across the page of his sketchbook with no end vision in mind. He's killing time until Nat shows up, which could be anywhere between the next five minutes and the next two hours with her vague text that simply said running late. When he looks up to reach for his near empty coffee cup, he freezes with his hand in the middle of the air.

At first he thinks it might not even actually be him. Tony's hair was never quite this well styled before, always a tangled mop on his head that sometimes fell into his eyes. Steve used to spend hours sometimes running his fingers through those wild curls while Tony slept on his chest. It's been tamed since then, cut shorter and held into place by some type of product. The facial hair is new, too. He remembers a time when it would always come in patchy and uneven, and Tony would pout as he shaved away the latest attempt at looking older than he was. The eighteen year old boy in oversized hoodies and stained jeans he met years ago has been replaced by a man in a well-pressed, expensive looking suit with a leather briefcase, like he just stepped out of a boardroom a minute ago. From what Steve has read about his life since they broke up, he probably did.

Steve stares without fully meaning to and for much longer than he would have if it was intentional. He watches him order his drink and smiles when the barista’s eyes widen at what he knows is an overly complicated order, wondering if Tony ever did finish his quest to find that perfect combination of syrup flavors, sugar, and cream that only he would ever like.

He catches the double take when Tony notices him there, right as he’s taking his first sip of the iced drink, and the cough when he chokes on it is anything but subtle. Steve looks away with red cheeks and tries to pretend he wasn’t staring, but it’s a futile effort. He can’t say he minds, though. Not when it means Tony walks over to him and unceremoniously drops himself into the chair across from him.

His mouth forms a familiar smirk, and he says, “You seem to have a staring problem, Rogers.”

Suddenly, Steve is nineteen again, falling hopelessly in love with the boy in his introductory chemistry class. It felt sort of like fate at first when they were paired together for the final project, and Steve remembers thinking that his chances were shot to hell when Tony sat down next to him and said those exact words. He never was any good at being discreet.

Back then, for that first time, all he could manage was a stuttered apology in response. But eventually it became their thing. Something just for them that no one else could ever understand. When Steve would watch him from across the room at parties, because he knew how much Tony loved having his eyes on him, and Tony would saunter over with that same smirk and those same words, there was only ever one reply.

“Guess I just really like what I see,” Steve says, and Tony’s face splits into a grin that matches Steve’s own. He’s still beautiful, even if it’s different now. Less softness to his appearance and more defined edges and sharp lines, but heart stoppingly beautiful nonetheless. He doesn’t quite say as much, but he does comment, “You do look good, by the way. Different, but good.”

Tony’s smile softens into another familiar one. It’s his smile for compliments, when he’s thinking self-deprecating thoughts that he won’t voice. Instead he’ll turn the attention back around, shifting the spotlight.

“So do you. The good part, but not really the different part.”

Steve runs a hand through his hair, contemplating if not looking different contributes to the good or not. He should look different somehow, shouldn’t he? After two and a half years not seeing each other in person and what feels like a lifetime’s worth of heartbreak in between then and now, he should look as changed as he feels. As changed as Tony looks now, like he’s someone new entirely. He’s pretty sure the t-shirt he’s wearing now is one he owned back then.

“Thanks,” Steve says anyway, for lack of anything better.

Just before it has the chance to fall into awkward silence, Tony says, “I didn’t know you were in New York these days. I would’ve called or something if I’d known.”

Steve raises an eyebrow. “Would you have?”

“I don’t know, maybe. I would’ve thought about it, at least. You know, stalked you online, found your number, dialed and hung up a few times.”

Steve laughs, fiddling with the straw wrapper from earlier to give himself something to look at other than Tony. “I moved back last year. Thought about calling, but I figured you were busy. Didn’t want to waste your time.”

It’s only a partial truth. He did think about calling when he came to Brooklyn after his year-long internship in London ended, but he didn’t want to know what Tony would say if he did. If he would have some sort of transparent excuse to avoid seeing him or if it would be an outright rejection.

“I would’ve made time for you,” Tony says, so painfully sincere that Steve has to look up again to meet his eyes.

He wonders if Tony is thinking of that last fight, if it’s a purposeful or coincidental reference to some of what Steve said. It was by far the worst fight they’d ever had, all over the phone with an ocean between them and so many things that Steve still wishes he could take back. Accusations flew on both sides until the entire thing was blown so completely out of proportion, yet impossible to reel back in. He should have just hung up the phone before it went that far. Before he could tell Tony that he always felt unimportant compared to everything else in his life, which was sometimes true but entirely unfair. Before Tony could say that Steve talked about Peggy in the same way he used to talk about him, and he didn’t have to finish the thought for Steve to understand the implication.

“Are we talking about it?” Steve asks.

Tony shrugs, feigning casual, but just the corner of his lip is between his teeth in that way that means he’s nervous and trying to hide it. “I guess that depends on what this is.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, we said back then that maybe it was just bad timing. You were in London, and I was in Boston until graduation, and it was always going to be a bit of a mess, but there was always that someday chance, right? So maybe this is someday, and we talk about it, and try to get it right this time,” Tony says. “Or maybe that was just something we said and didn’t mean, and I ask you about your life, and you ask about mine, and we talk and laugh and pretend that we’re friends again for the next half hour or so before we go our separate ways.”

It’s an easy choice, really. If there’s one thing that Steve’s sure of, it’s that it’s always been him and always will be.

“I don’t want to go separate ways,” Steve says. “The first time was hard enough, and I never really moved on. I got better, but I don’t think I’ve been more than just fine in a long time.”

Tony nods slowly, “I kept thinking you would call, you know. Back then. I thought you would call and tell me that it was a mistake and it would be okay again, but you never did. Although, I guess I could’ve called, too.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“For the same reason as you, probably. I couldn’t risk it if you didn’t want me again. Couldn’t risk getting back together just to break up again, either. We weren’t exactly the poster children for making long distance work.”

“We were terrible at it, weren’t we?”

Tony’s smile is tinged with the pain of the past. “It’s kind of funny because I remember thinking that it might be a good thing for us when you told me about London. Can’t get sick of somebody if they’re not always around.”

“You thought I would get sick of you? You never told me that.”

“Why would I?” Tony laughs. “Just put all my insecurities on display like that? Come on, Steve, that doesn’t sound like me, does it?”

Steve laughs with him briefly, “No, but I could’ve told you back then that it wasn’t possible. Told you that I wanted you around all the time and I missed you every second you were gone. I might’ve even stayed if you had told me. I was thinking about it, you know? I almost turned the internship down. Probably would’ve if you’d asked even once for me not to go.”

“It was your career. I never would’ve asked you to give that up for me.”

“There would have been something else. Another job somewhere closer to you.”

“I still wouldn’t have asked,” Tony says. “And I would have told you to go if you’d said you were staying.”

Steve knows that, which is why they never talked about it much before he left. Tony pretended to be happy for him, and Steve pretended to be happy for himself, when really it already felt like the beginning of the end. A year apart is longer than it seems, and it didn’t take more than a few months to realize it.

“I never…” Steve starts, trailing off when he doesn’t quite know how to finish the sentence. “There was never anyone else. Not while we were together, and never with Peggy.”

“I know. I knew back then, too, that you were never that kind of person. Jealousy’s just a real bitch sometimes.”

“There’s really not been anyone since, either,” Steve adds, and Tony’s mouth quirks into a half smile. “I mean, a couple of people here and there, but nothing like what we were.”

“There’s not a whole lot out there like what we were, is there?”

Steve smiles, leaning back in his chair, “No, there’s really not. But I do remember reading a rumor that you got engaged.”

Tony groans, and it’s so much like he used to sound when he was nine pages deep into a ten page essay at three in the morning that Steve has to laugh.

“Don’t you dare laugh. That rumor haunts me, Steven,” Tony says, belied by a grin that he seemingly can’t control. “Do you know how I found out about my supposed engagement? When my mother called and asked why I hadn’t told her I was planning on proposing.”

“So I’m still the only person you’ve ever proposed to,” Steve teases, just for the way he knows Tony will get indignant about it.

“How many times do I have to tell you that one didn’t count?”

“You were on one knee, you asked a question, and you had a ring. All the boxes are checked, sweetheart.”

“It was a blue raspberry ring pop, and you ate it,” Tony argues. “Not to mention that I actually asked you to marry me someday in the distant future. That’s not a proposal.”

Steve laughs again, thinking about that day in the middle of their living room, just a few weeks before Steve got the call that would take him to London and change everything. It was almost like a joke, and for anyone else it would have been. Not for them, though, because Steve remembers the look in Tony’s eyes when he dropped down in front of him, spur of the moment and impulsive like almost everything was back then. He remembers how it still felt like a promise, even if it wasn’t the real thing.

“But I said yes, which I think technically means we’re still engaged.”

“Absolutely not,” Tony scoffs. “It’s going to be a production when we get engaged. Elaborate and planned and romantic as hell.”

“When, huh?” Steve grins.

Tony’s cheeks pinken a touch, but he doesn’t take it back. He reaches for Steve’s hand on the table. “Yeah, when. Is that alright with you?”

Steve threads their fingers together, holding on tight. “That’s alright with me.”

#stevetony #stony #superhusbands #my writing #my fic #prompt fill

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rotshop · 3 years

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*slams into your inbox* I just read through mag reader and Deimos headcanons again and I love it. I would def be interested in seeing more! (Also are you sure you don’t wanna hold his hand? Even just a little?) -Echo

gonna do a funney little mix of ideas here ,,,,, lol ,,,,,,,, also yes i am sure <333 i go 'hey check out this funny fish' and then i hold his head underwater.

[ tw brief, light violence, body horror and gore / blood ]

context

auditor + mag s/o ;

-OK OK HEAR ME OUT .

-you weren't originally an aahw project. while they're definitely the biggest company of sorts around there's still a few others that are like them but not exactly them hanging around nevada. you happened to be in some facility they decided to raid due to them having some possibly useful information regarding the anti-aahw . she's definitely a little less than enthused to get a call from her agents that she should come check this out but ,, when she lays her eyes on u that immediately melts away

-he's VERY very curious about you. keeps you close which is kind of nice bc it means you're treated pretty well but also it means a lot of being watched. audi just has like. a habit of unconsciously ''''''''studying'''''''' you. they're always noting little behaviors of yours down mentally and asking you little questions abut how you came to be and what abilities you hold.

-believe it or not he actually DOESN'T want you in fights. she knows you're incredibly capable but the thought of you getting too involved in a bunch of clawing and tearing again makes her get uneasy. she just prefers for you to stay by her side, with the excuse that you're a body guard of sorts for her (you aren't, she's got several other, more disposable mags that serve that role just fine.).

-HOWEVER. there is one time where he doesn't get an option in that. a few contractees and dissenters attempted a raid on the base audi was at, hoping to try and get some sort of bargaining chip to make deal with. before they can even really attempt to try and land some sort of hit on them you're already pouncing on the nearest grunt, blood already spurting and painting the walls red in mere seconds of your arrival. it honest to god shocks her into stillness, her just watching motionlessly the entire time, only really moving once to dodge some limb you'd mindlessly thrown her way after tearing it from its socket. WHILE SHE IS IMPRESSED ,,, she still scolds you a little for being reckless while trying to scrub the blood off of you with a wet rag, huffing that 'you could've gotten seriously hurt' if you were any less careful >:/

-however he does do the thng where he like. cups both sides of your face and then presses his forehead against yours. you have to lean down a lot for him to do so but still. sighs a little while brushing his thumb under your eyes and tells you to be more careful from now on.

-auditor is not immune to favoritism and it shows. someone brings it up (shakily, of course) and she just shrugs and goes 'idk what you're talking abt' while petting you who's got your head on her lap. said person promptly gets 'dismissed' after.

-hates whenever anyone tries to put some kind of muzzle on you, even if its just for the jaw dislocation thingy it still makes him go kind of '>:|' . he'll let them for like. a day at MOST (unless you keep trying to get it off, then chances are he's just gonna take it off for you. nobody really bothers asking / trying to get it back on you bc he just sends them a sharp little glare before they even can. if you REALLY need it that bad then he might try and convince you to keep it on a little longer or otherwise take your mind of it, he still feels really bad about it tho . )

sanford + mag s/o ;

- :)

-you two knew each other before he dissented / you became a mag. worked pretty close together and were just close in general !! you didn't know dei super super well since he worked in a different area but you two met a few times and hit it off pretty well.

-anyway ! he doesn't take your magnification well. at all. the first few times he saw you after it were the worst, mostly because those few times were primarily because you were lashing out at agents for one reason or another (mostly maltreatment from guards / people being shitty in general) . for the first while its so obvious that you're just exhausted from what's happened to your body that was NOT meant to become this, that you're tired and on edge from not being allowed any real rest. it makes him feel fucking terrible to see how awful of a state you're in and know that there's next to nothing he can really do to help.

-it especially hits him when he notices the other little changes. there's some specific moment where he's holding onto you far too tightly, clutching at the back of your jacket while he does his best to keep composed. you always had this habit of giving a half jokey hum of some stupid little joke or even just a 'what's wrong, big guy?' whenever he seemed off or tense, he can't help but make note of the lack of real response from you in the moment other than you wrapping your arms around him as well. another time, maybe he tries to make some little inside joke after something reminded him of it, looking back at you with a little smile. it hits him with a special punch to the gut when he notices your confusion, you just can't recognize it. you don't remember it anymore. you don't remember a lot of your old self or interactions anymore.

-you two end up getting split up at one point or another. orginally, he'd planned to run away with you and deimos buut,,, one way or another, you weren't really able to get out. he goes looking for you a bunch but eventually he has to stop when it gets to be too much and he can't find any real sign of you, he's quiet for a long time after it.

-HOWEVER . he does eventually find you in some abandoned warehouse him and the others had planned to look for supplies in. the entire time he's in there he keeps hearing sounds he thinks are just dei or hank but every time he asks or comments on it they just give him a look of confusion or a little 'what are you talking about?' it puts him really on edge, it's worse when he's in one of the further corners, digging through a few boxes and desperately trying to ignore how much it feels like someones there. anyway umm lol its just you ,,,, ehe . it takes him a solid minute to process that its you but as soon as it clicks he's yelling your name and running up to hug you. doesn't even stop to think that you could totally tear him a new one right then and there he's just too happy to see you. dei and hank both come rushing over after hearing him, dei recognizes you too and is just kinda 'oh hey !! friend !! :D' while hank stands there and just kinda stares.

-is able to take you back to base without too much argument from the others. he does his best to fill you in on everything that's happened in hopes you'll explained what happened on your part too. even if you don't he can't be too upset since he's just too gd happy to see you again ,,,, chances are you stick around him a lot . deimos is nice but u don't remember him super well and hank makes you uneasy lmao . its ok he thinks its funny though, just laughs a little whenever you stand in his doorway in silence until he notices you :)

#rot writes #sanford x reader #auditor x reader #madcom x reader #madness combat x reader #madcom imagines #madness combat imagines #echo anon #oughghghgh sleepy .......... snsnsnsnsnsnns

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firelxdykatara · 3 years

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You’re doing a LoK rewrite, correct? Would be really interested in hearing how you plan on fixing Suyin’s character and the Lin-Suyin conflict because……. oh boy. Man there’s a lot to unpack there. This is what happens when we don’t let Toph just raise her fucking kids for the sake of pushing a stupid as hell narrative about working women and single motherhood.

I am indeed!

In... you know, the way I'm doing most of my big potential projects, in that I have a folder with some documents that have plot notes and... some day I may actually get full, finished fics out of them (h2o AU is in there, as is my voltron!atla fusion AU, and uhhhh my book 3 atla rewrite, and a few other things), so... but I will say that the docs I have for my LoK rewrite so far amount to roughly 4.2k words of just Plot and Character Notes, which may some day turn into words of Story, hopefully.

ANYWAY, POINT IS: yes, this exists, and I have Many Many Thoughts.

Including how the Gaang kids would shake out! Cause I know I'm doing Zutara, and maybe Tokka???? Although I don't wanna just leave Suki out either... maybe a throuple??? Or Sukka having an amicable breakup before Sokka and Toph get together--maybe she already has Lin by then, and Sokka helps support her through the grief of losing Kanto???? Idk honestly, I haven't actually figured any of that out definitively yet except that Aang was perfectly happy to settle down with an Air Acolyte from one of the rebuilt temples because he grew up and out of his crush on Katara pretty easily once he hit puberty and matured a bit.

UHHH none of which is actually an answer to your question, because it's a valid one! Which is why I've been sitting on this a while (10 days I'm so sorry) bc I haven't made any solid decisions but I've been letting it percolate around my head a bit. And the more I think about it, the more I really like the Sukka -> Tokka idea (and I don't want to kill off Suki since the kids all deserve their awesome Kyoshi warrior auntie in their lives, and also I want a Sukka kid to be besties with Iara [zuko and katara's youngest] so maybe she gets with someone else after she and Sokka split? I could be talked into Ty Lee/Suki actually, the more I think about it....), but obviously having a stable father figure and a Toph who is... not what LoK made her out to be will dramatically change the Beifong family dynamic.

That said, I think I actually have a solution. (I'm so sorry for what I'm about to do.) Toph has Lin with Kanto--and he passes away when Lin is two or three, which is why she has very few memories of her father. (Although none of this 'she doesn't even know his name until she's 50+ cause Toph didn't tell her daughters about their fathers' bullshit.) Sokka is there for her through it all (all of the gaang is, of course, but you know that it sometimes just hits different when it's someone you're also starting to fall in love with, especially when there are older and much more deeply buried feelings there that are now resurfacing, because at least in my version Toph was deeply in love with Sokka when they were teenagers, but he was in love with Suki and she also loved Suki so she didn't want to mess up anything about their family or the group dynamics by making her feelings anyone else's problem), they fall in love, get married and have Suyin.

(Sokka may jokingly refer to it as a shotgun wedding, but the truth is he wanted to propose well before he found out she was pregnant, his attempts just kept getting messed up in increasingly comedic fashion.)

Throughout all of this, Republic City has been established, Sokka is Chancellor, Toph is something of a defacto police chief--mostly because, at the time, no one else was willing to volunteer, and she jokingly offered to whip the law enforcement, but unfortunately everyone else at the meeting took her seriously. However, she is also the founder of the probending league, and basically her feelings about law enforcement are complicated and she actively discouraged her kids from joining the force which is part of why Lin did. How else do you have a teen rebel phase with a parent like Toph? (Which, in this instance, means tough and firm but fair, with a 'you break it, it's up to you to fix it' attitude and very little desire to actually control her daughters and their behavior.)

Ah, but here's the rub.

Suyin is ten years old when Sokka dies, and Lin is sixteen. I'm not sure how he's killed--maybe by Yakone, to tie it into my plans for Amon and book 1. (Note that I'm not sure when the Yakone bloodbending trial happened in canon, but it doesn't matter. The timeline I'm gonna build will be completely different post-comet, and I'll eventually write it all down so that I can keep things straight.) Which would incidentally provide excellent means of having Katara have a very personal stake in the Amon conflict, and perhaps color the fight between him and Iara, but I'm getting off track. And I think Sokka being killed by Yakone, and Toph being unable to protect or save him, or deliver her own brand of justice to avenge him (because Aang is there to stop her and.... shit probably got ugly, I suspect she didn't talk to Aang for at least twenty years after Sokka's death--and this isn't to say I think Toph is particularly violent or murderous, but in that moment, she absolutely wanted to kill the man with her bare hands, and however much she may have regretted it afterwards, she took a very long time to forgive Aang for stopping her in the first place), is what results in Toph stepping down as police chief.

She didn't withdraw from her daughters or fuck off into the swamp or anything (words cannot express how much I hate that part of her canon history), but she did grieve for a very long time. Lin, meanwhile, felt like it was up to her to keep her family together, while also feeling a desperate need to... prove herself, I think. And because her mother was so adamant that she not join the police force, that's exactly what she does. I think Lin completely misread Toph's intentions, too, and believed that the discouragement was because her mother didn't think she had what it takes, when in reality I think Toph was scared of Lin losing herself in the job like she herself had begun to, and eventually coming up on something she couldn't change or fix and making the same mistakes she had.

(I think Toph and Lin have communication issues largely because they are both headstrong and willful, but where Toph thought she was giving her daughters the room they would need to make their own way, what Lin desperately craved was direction and she felt like that was something her mother simply couldn't understand.)

Suyin, on the other hand, fell in with a bad crowd like in canon. I think that what she desperately needed was attention, similar to Lin craving direction, and Toph was trying so hard not to be her own parents that she went a little too far in the other direction and Suyin began to feel like it didn't matter what she did, her mom wouldn't care, or get angry, or discipline her, or anything. Lin and Suyin butted heads a lot growing up, too, especially after Sokka's death, because Lin tried to rein in her sister's behavior and this was met with resistance and derision because Suyin felt like Lin was trying to be both mom and dad and she was neither but her big sister would never admit to being just as lost as she was and it made her furious.

So when Suyin is sixteen, and Lin is twenty-two and new to the force, The Big Rift happens. Lin catches Suyin and her gang, tries to apprehend her, gets a scar on her face in the ensuing conflict. But instead of abusing her power and sending her problem child off to her mother before fucking off to the swamp to avoid the consequences of her actions, Toph tries to actually fix things. Suyin cools her heels in prison for a while, because she was paralyzed by guilt at the time when she hurt her sister (a few inches lower and she could have slit her throat), and was still there when Lin's backup arrived.

Uhhhhhhhhhhh..... I'm so sorry I rambled for so long, BUT THE UPSHOT IS: I think Suyin learned a bit about culpability and taking responsibility for her own actions, Toph realized that her daughters had different needs than she did at their age (and I think a lot of the problem was that grief clouded her own ability to connect with her daughters, and in trying to not be her own parents she lost sight of how to be the parent her own daughters needed), and Lin, I think, had to realize that she had never fully processed the loss of not one but two fathers and had turned to her job in order to avoid actually confronting the grief that had overshadowed her childhood.

However, she did not forgive Suyin, at least not right away--and she wasn't forced or expected to. Suyin understood that she crossed a serious line, she took her lumps and did her time, and no one shamed Lin for her anger. I think, as a result, she had less reason to hold onto that bitterness, and perhaps by the time the story actually begins, she and Suyin are on much better terms, though I haven't worked it out exactly yet.

UHHH yeah I went on for days lmao. All of this is subject to change, too, depending on the needs of the story whenever I get around to actually writing it all down, BUT these are my initial thoughts, at least.

#atla #lin beifong #toph beifong #suyin beifong #tokka #lok rewrite #lok rewrite notes #precious-metal-girl #asked

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aggravatetheaxe · 3 years

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Can I have some Nick x bo thoughts? 🥺🥺 I’m intrigued

Okay I decided to just throw spaghetti for this one, so it's in the form of a chaotic bullet point list

STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS THOUGHTS ABOUT NICK/BO:

i feel like there'd be little to no chance of him living without carly also being alive; if anyone was going to appeal to bo's little shreds of humanity - his sense of family - it would be a girl begging for her twin brother's life

also i just like carly so what would be the point if she wasn't there?

it would have to be rather earlier in the movie. like, there is no going back from the point they're at in the final battle, you know? no amount of begging would assuage bo and vincent from murdering them at that point

on the other hand, seeing how resilient carly and nick are is a big turning point in the movie. it's super important for not just the viewers but all the characters to see how well they work in tandem. i wouldn't want to take that away from them

so maybe the best of both worlds would be if carly and nick decided to turn the tables on the boys after they shoot bo and he passes out in the theater?

like what if when he passed out, they tied him up and used him to lure vincent, and there was some kind of tense bargaining situation?

or, ooh ooh ooh, what if: so bo has carly down in his dungeon and nick can't get her out, so instead he captures one of the sinclair brothers and that's the trade off? carly's life for bo's or whatever?

then carly and nick aren't in a position where they can leave ambrose, but the brothers aren't necessarily in a position to kill them either

idk neither of those are perfect scenarios, but suspend disbelief with me

this would be Slow Burn. HELLA Slow Burn enemies to lovers. which i love, so

bo would hate nick on principle because he's the one bastard they couldn't take down, and he's just some fucking guy from florida. plus he's a cocky asshole who has a problem with authority, and though bo kens that, it also drives him FUCKING INSANE when he is the authority figure

nick would hate bo because, well, it's obvious: bo killed some of his closest friends, including dalton, who nick may or may not have had romantic tension with; and wade, his sister's boyfriend. to say nothing of the fact that bo hunted, kidnapped, and tied up his sister with the intention of torturing her later

who would break first? i think bo would. bo's hatred of nick is the principle of the thing, an almost puerile anger that he was outsmarted; nick's hatred of bo is deeply personal

but! that would give bo some time to come to terms with being bisexual. nick doesn't need as much time to come to terms with that, so by the time they hooked up, they'd be on more or less the same page with everything

would it start out as hate sex? almost certainly. they're both so fucking frustrated they feel this way. it might even happen on accident tbh

bo would be completely oblivious to the fact that nick was kind of with dalton/had romantic tension with him. nick would have to be like "??? dude. that was basically my boyfriend what the fuck"

does bo feel remorse for killing people? no, not usually. does he eventually come to feel remorse for killing these particular people? well... yes and no. if he hadn't, he'd never have met nick. but it's a real pain in the ass for your boyfriend and his sister to hate you for killing all their friends, when someone else's friends woulda done just as well

god they butt heads so much. they're both have an extreme aversion to authority, though i would argue nick's is a little more combative. nick doesn't care what punishment he gets - he sees himself as above punishment, uncontrollable - while bo has been taught to fear punishment and has a strong sense of "respect." it is possible to make bo bend under your authority; i don't think it's possible to do it to nick, at least not in the same way

Florida Man. that's all i have to say on that

despite butting heads though, they also have a hell of a lot in common. they were both considered the "evil twin" at ages when they literally couldn't help themselves and needed help, love, and compassion. now they've grown to be men who genuinely do bad things because of the preconceived notions and perceptions of others

the difference between them, though, is that bo comes off as a nice guy but he's actually a MONSTER. nick comes off as a huge creep and a punk, he does shitty things to make himself seem hard and cool, but inside he's a good person. they're foils of each other and that's always sexy

their foil is all about redemption and presentation vs action but maybe i'm projecting

they are foils though so they have some core things in common: strong love for their family, specifically their respective twins; dedication and steadfastness; perseverance in the face of death; quick wit and cleverness, fast thinking; finally, a tendency to say mean things that they either regret later or don't actually mean, in an attempt to protect themselves from being vulnerable

i don't know if these two would ever be truly happy with one another - it would be a tumultuous relationship for sure - but they would understand each other in a lot of ways

and most importantly? bo might realize that, after everything he went through in his life, he made the choice to be a serial killer and torturer. things could have been different

whether or not anything would actually change, i'm not sure, but he MIGHT realize how deep a hole he truly dug himself

but he's too far in now, nothing to do about it, ya know?

if more people came through ambrose, nick and carly would be right there trying to help them escape. come hell or high water, no matter the consequences, they would try to help, even if they could never truly escape themselves

nick would bargain, beg, and steal to earn carly the right to go see their parents (or any other privilege). she should be allowed to be free even if he's not. he's very self sacrificing

okay so that was very chaotic but i hope you enjoyed some of my Thoughts!

#nick jones #bo sinclair #headcanon #nick jones x bo sinclair #bo sinclair x nick jones #house of wax 2005 #house of wax

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anarmorofwords · 3 years

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I kinda wanna write a better version of tlh where Tatiana is still insane but there's no Belial bc that makes zero sense to me

In this version there would be:

Kamanna done correctly with actual genderqueer rep and not toxic relationships

Barbra and Oliver bc fight me she didn't die

Genie and Filomena bc I love them and all the lightwoods are queer

The gracelet doesn't even happen bc I refuse to write that

Grace is pretty much still the same but she breaks off their(hers and james') relationship bc she notices that he loves Cordelia

No bad James. He's not a shitty person to Alastair, and he doesn't treat Cordelia like a sex object

Anna puts a stop to Kellington and Matthew's relationship before it gets serious. She also tries to get him to stop drinking all the time

Alastair apologizes around seeing them again for the first time. The merry thieves are a little reluctant because of some of the things he did but they don't actively try to keep him away from events that they're at

Matthew notices how Alastair looks at Thomas and locks them in the sanctuary with Genie and Cordelia's help

Grace gets badly injured due to a mistake in necromancy and Christopher helps her treat it without letting people know

Lucie meets Jesse, and falls in love ofc, so in order to bring him back successfully she asks Malcolm to train her in using her magic

Matthew opens up to his mom about the incident. She doesn't blame him at all and instead apologizes for often putting her work before him

Matthew finds out about Charles and Alastair because he found Alastairxs break up letter to Charles

Matthew, the mother hen he is, decided to attempt to murder his older brother, only being stopped by James who had been there at the right time

Kamala ends things with Charles and tells Anna that she still loves them and hopes that she will give her another chance

Anna told her that they needed time to think, and that she is worried how Kamala's reputation will be affected if anyone besides their friends and Anna's family finds out

Kamala respects her decision and doesn't contact her until Anna's ready to talk about things

The merry thieves don't ignore Christopher and they actively listen and help him

The merry thieves also aren't terrible to Grace bc they realize she's been isolated alone with Tatiana and 1) she might not understand what's saying/doing is wrong or 2) that sometimes she's trying to push them away so her abilities don't accidentally make them do something

Good tid parents

James and Alastair being respectful to each other despite personal differences

Matthew, Alastair, Kamala, Christopher, and Grace being besties, or as I call them, the neglected squad

No fetishizing mlm/wlw

Domestic cuddles and taking care of the other one when they're sick

Jesse/Lucie/Matthew pairing bc I love them and I refuse to pick between lucie/matthew and lucie/jesse

Christopher teaching Grace the elements(at the time) on the periodic table

Tatiana dies at the end yay

It's very unpolished and I'm open to b hearing any feedback and/or suggestions that anyone may have

The idea came to me and I decided it would be best if I told someone before I forgot

hi, I'm sorry it took so long,but I wanted to properly answer this and I keep having either internet connection issues or little time

DON'T BE SHY, WRITE THIS 👀

In all seriousness tho... THIS IS ABSOLUTE PERFECTION?!? I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START I AM UTTERLY IN LOVE WITH THIS IDEA, I NEED IT

Look, I've been on the verge of rewriting ChoI, and I keep saying I want someone to write a TLH that will live up to its potential, but I've never actually came up with a proper idea for it, and you?!! YOUR BRAIN DARLING THIS IS GENIUS

ok hold up I'll just react to each and every single one so

yes please?!? I mean it started off so sweet in EEV?! Also actually genderqueer Anna and not dancing around the subject like CC is doing now?! That's what they deserve, and that's what we all deserve too

yesss please. also just,,,, Barbara, the feminine, not-wanting-to-fight-which-doesnt-make-her-less-badass queen that she is, getting the page space and appreciation she deserves

that's actually brilliant?!? it would be so great, just imagine the new girl arrives for her travel year and Genie is completely awestruck. I'm so invested in Joshwood it's difficult to imagine not having them, but this is actually the only valid alternative?!

ok that's fine. I think it could still happen and be done well, but tbh for now... the gracelet doesn't seem to have done anything relevant to the plot itself? I mean yeah it messed up James's life and Jordelia, but what did it give Belial? Tatiana? nothing. It makes no sense atm.

could be! maybe she's still encouraged by Tatiana to befriend/seduce him, but without the gracelet it doesn't work out? or maybe James somehow manages to realize that she's in danger and he actually like,,,, kidnaps her? idk idk

yes. YES. just,,,,z James is a sweet compassionate literature nerd who accidentally makes a good leader and he actually cares about people, and not just judges them from his high horse; he does still have hero syndrome, but he's kind and respectful and overall a good character

ANNA INTERVENES ABOUT KELLINGTON PLZ. PEOPLE ACTUALLY NOTICE MATTHEW'S STRUGGLES. JAMES DOES, TOO, BECAUSE THERE'S NO GRACELET.

ok yes, so what about: basically TMT don't harass Alastair and accept his apology, and realize they were also being stupid and mean at times at the Academy (especially Math). Matthew doesn't want to accept Alastair's apology, because of The Sin, but his behaviour alerts the rest of TMT and they inquire what's wrong and he tells them about the sin and that's how he later tells his parents (because his friends encourage him) and as you say, she just hugs him and reassures him it's not his fault; so after that Matthew slowly begins to heal and accepts it wasn't Alastair's fault, and also since they've kind of adopted/started including Alastair in things, he can't help but notice he's actually changed and he even starts to grow fond of him

then like you said, Matthew notices Thomas likes Alastair PLEASE HE SO WOULD. I'm not sure about the Sanctuary, if it actually happens (I'll get to why later on), but him and Lucie get really invested in the matchmaking schemes, they include Genie/Kamala because these two are friends with Alastair (both? Or at this point only Kamala?) but they also share some Moments during their scheming/talking about love 👀 (yes I'm a Fairdale shipper, I think it's time to expose myself lol)

Which leads me to (sorry I'm going off order rn) YES YES YES LUCIE AND MATH PLEASE. A FELLOW SHIPPER, HELLO, NICE TO MEET YOU. But since we're actually fixing him then we can give Jesse a personality and I'm totally down for poly Math/Lucie/Jesse

Lucie seeking Malcolm's help in secret, morally gray heroine style?!? no, it's probably not legal. but also has there ever been a Shadowhunter like her? If the Law doesn't expect such situations, it can't really forbid them...

Plz Matthew ready to strangle the carrot when he learns about their relationship, YES. sure, maybe he's still not the biggest fan of Alastair, but he's seen how much the boy's been through and starts to develop an attachment to him, and besides, NO ONE DESERVES TO BE GROOMED AND TREATED LIKE THAT. He's SO MAD at Charles, and he confronts him about it - remembering Kellington as he does, and it makes him sick to think his brother would do the same thing to someone. Maybe he gets very emotional over this and later finally tells his friends about Kellington? Maybe they didn't know before, only Anna did? So when they all realize what was happening then they comfort him etc? Or maybe it's just Alastair that learns now, and the others knew before, and they share a bonding moment over that?

Injured Grace seeking Kit's help is a genius idea I didn't know I needed

Kamanna giving each other time and space and deciding they need to question their relationship and figure out if it actually makes sense would be great. Anna realising she's very privileged and Kamala doesn't have those same opportunities, and also in general realising coming out should never be pressured or forced. Just,,,, Anna being self-aware and respectful towards Kamala. Well-written Anna. Plz. Also Kamanna is actually developed and not just "in love" because,,,,, they're attracted to each other? Maybe even remaining friends while Anna makes up their mind?

yeah just TMT being more compassionate and less judgy because they're not written by Judith so her bias isn't projected onto them

It's not a want, it's a need. They adopt Alastair and Grace eventually. Like, maybe not literally - although, Grace? - but you know what I mean.

I think they all should just have various friendship dynamics and switch between them, because people need more than one friend group

no fetishizing, no watching your brother make out with his lover, yessss

yes domestic cuddles, affection, taking care of wounds, all those things. plz.

Gracetopher bonding over science yes

obviously. or maybe she's imprisoned?!

ok, now for some more notes/my ideas etc., if you don't mind:

I actually think Belial could still be featured? After all, I don't think Tatiana could do much on her own, and since she seeks help from demons, it makes sense to include a Greater Demon as well. But Belial would have to be a stronger villain, written better; I'll think more about this

if that was the case, the serial killer plot could still happen, but be done better. and it would allow for a scenario I talked about with @littlx-songbxrd to happen, where it's Alastair who's falsely accused of murder. It creates a great opportunity to explore some things, because we know Alastair is much more likely to be seriously suspected, considering all the prejudices and bad rep his family has and all that

...what do you say to well-written Jordelia? 👀 Cordelia hasn't been obsessively in love with James since childhood, she only had a crush then. And now that they meet again, she's fond of him but not in love, not straight away. They're both grown up, and different people, but as they spend more and more time together, they fall in love. What if Cordelia gets to flirt with some other boys first? What then. What if she ends up choosing James, instead of going for the only boy she's ever had feelings for and idealized since childhood. What if we even make it friends-to-lovers and have James be a little jealous at some point?! but not in a possessive awful way, just "oh damn oh no"

Now I won't know peace until this exists BUT THANK YOU

#ask answered #thank you this is brilliant #alt tlh #save for later #the last hours #tlh #anti cc #yes I'll be adding/thinking more about this I AM OBSESSED

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kaiserin-astraia · 3 years

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NieR's Project Gestalt

So after several nights losing sleep over this, I decided to write down my biggest issue with the NieR series: project gestalt. It’s pretty unanimously agreed by fans that project gestalt was probably the worst plan in the history of plans, executed in the laziest way possible. And yet, I couldn't help but obsess over how project gestalt could have been salvaged, even after the events of ending E of nier replicant.

This is the part where I say: I’m going to spoiling the hell out of NieR: Replicant and in some capacity NieR: Automata. If you don’t want to be spoiled, then get out now — that being said, if you’re sticking around anyway, I’ll be attempting to give summaries and explanations to concepts in the games that are relevant, so that we are all on the same page. also also I only know the high level details of the Drakengard series & won't be touching on it much.

So. What the hell was project gestalt?

Project gestalt was the terrible and last ditch effort to save humanity from a widespread pandemic called white chlorination syndrome, or WCS. WCS was caused by a literal inter dimensional fight between a red dragon and demon baby thing that resulted in the death of both and the deterioration of their corpses causing salt (also called Maso particles) to fall from the sky. If you got infected, the Cult of the Watchers gave you the choice of losing your free will and fighting for them as a soldier in the Legion, or turning into a pile of salt and dying. BrandonSP has a wonderful video talking about the Legion and the Nier universe leading up to the events of Nier: Replicant that I’ll link if you want to know more about this history (here), but all you need to know is: humanity is on the brink of extinction and the planet is no longer inhabitable in its current state.

Project Gestalt discovered that the way humans could escape extinction is by separating their souls from their bodies — the soul having no physical form is immortal & immune to maso, while the body without a soul can't become infected, because there’s no consciousness to force into a demon deal, I guess. You know, I realized while writing this that it’s not clear why separating soul from body actually worked to prevent WCS, but whatever it worked because Yoko Taro Said So.

However, separating body from soul was no easy task; upon doing so, most people’s souls would instantly go berserk, turning into mindless violent entities. The first success was the playable character of Nier: Replicant, who I’m going to call Nier. Upon this first success, the governments of the world convinced / coerced him into cooperating with the Project, and he became the cornerstone for all the “gestalts” aka the souls separated from their bodies.

Just to keep everyone up to pace, gestalts are the souls separated from their bodies, otherwise known as “shades” in Nier: Replicant.

So Project Gestalt’s planned chain of events was as followed:

1. All remaining humans would undergo gestalt-ing 2. The resulting replicants (aka, the soulless bodies) and androids would fight and defeat the legion & clean up the planet so that it was habitable again … which meant containing or eradicating the leftover maso covering the planet. 3. Once ready for rehabilitation, Grimoire Weiss and Grimoire Nior would merge into each other, causing all gestalt souls to snap into their respective replicants starting with Nier 4. Profit. Seems a simple plan, right? Well, not even a single step of that plan worked. By the end of Nier: Replicant ending E, Nier’s Gestalt, aka the shadow lord, has been killed by his own replicant; the replicants have gained sentience and I would argue their own souls, and many gestalts have relapsed into becoming violent, nonsensical entities. The insta-snap grimoires are dead, too, and-- Oh there’s the tiny issue that when a gestalt relapses, their corresponding replicant gets something called the “black scrawl”, a painful and terminal disease. Once a gestalt relapses or dies, their replicant can’t be recreated (well... mostly) and because the original gestalt, the shadow lord, is dead, all the other gestalts are doomed to eventually relapse or die as well, and thus humanity goes extinct. This is where I call bullshit. There’s little known about the time period between Nier: Replicant and Nier: Automata— especially the time of the gestalt and replicants decline. The game(s) leads you to believe that nothing can be done because the soul snapping Grimoires are dead and so is the original gestalt. However, there is tons of evidence in the game itself that implies it’s not so simple, and truly the true tragedy is that simply, everyone gave up — or more likely, Yoko Taro didn’t want us to think this hard, lol. Well TOO BAD, I can’t stop thinking about it so finally let’s actually talk about how to save humanity. First of all, I read on Reddit how it seems to be that the androids Devola and Popula are only two units, and with their demise in Nier: Replicant that project gestalt is doomed to failure. However, Nier: Automata clearly talks about how there were several Devola and Popula model pairs in different cities/continents. There’s no way that only our Devola and Popula in Nier: Replicant knew how to merge a gestalt with its replicant; such vital information would be stored in every android related to the project, and these models were quite literally created to oversee it. So. Idk why the hell the project was allowed to even get so disorganized, but regardless, after the the Shadow Lord and grimoires die, the remaining Devola and Popula units should have immediately made a plan B. There were several big issues with the state of the world before, so we’ll tackle them one by one for the biggest chance of success. 1. All relapsed gestalts need to be eradicated or contained. Their violence has lead replicants to attack them back and view them as monsters, leading to meaningless conflict. If the Devola and Popula units are programmed not to harm the gestalts because they are the 'true humans', they need to make new units ala A2 or 2B to take care of it. Because we know that android technology is already there, evidenced by the Memory Tree, and Devola and Popula, it follows this is definitely possible.

2. There should be three divisions of research made as follows:

2.1 Research into the effects of mismatched replicants merged with gestalts, like Kaine. Because the clock is ticking, there’s unfortunately no time to gawk at morals. Taking volunteers, even 1 success could be the difference between extinction or survival.

2.2 Creating and housing “iced” or “stasis” gestalts, while replicant bodies are “grown” for them. Because replicants have formed their own identities, they should try to create/raise replicants completely asleep/comatose. If not this, research into putting gestalts into their proper replicants at infant stage can be tried. (Note: replicants were infertile, hence why replicants had to be made, not born of sexual reproduction. Yoko Taro said that replicants couldn’t reproduce because they didn’t have their souls, however I think this was just a comment said to cover a plot hole.)

2.3 Research into whether replicants truly have souls or not, and whether something can be done to allow them to reproduce. Regarding the soul issue, it’s heavily implied that the Memory Tree, having absorbed the memories of so many replicants, began growing a soul of its own (that Nier killed, thinking it was a shade, oops). Now, how is that possible? It shouldn’t be, unless the replicants had made their own or unless a soul being created was possible. If we want to get fancy, a fourth division could be organized to study Emil and the weapons project that experimented on him, with an emphasis on how to either reverse the effects or if any information can be gleaned from them regarding the soul.

2.4 Black scrawl 2 electric boogaloo: it’s said in the project gestalt files that they couldn’t find a cure or reason for this phenomenon, but if we’re trying to cover our bases, another research division should be created to investigate and attempt to cure it. It seems to be a magical malady, so I wonder if Emil would be able to help... or even Kaine.

3. (Moving along...) More androids should be created to build cities / homes / areas of civilization for the newly reformed humans to re-habitat. This is said to be a goal of the androids in Nier: Automata, and they were doing a piss poor job — maybe if they got started earlier they’d have a better shot. The replicants were/are already living in medieval levels of squalor and poverty, which is ridiculous considering the android's technology is so advanced.

4. No more lies: though in my plan, replicants shouldn’t have to be created except to be possessed, but if they are created and allowed to mature into a sentient age, replicants should be educated and informed about the truth of their existence — this is for many reasons. First, that way replicants will be less likely to fear and attack shades they see; two, worst comes to worst, they may be more willing to share their bodies with their gestalts and who knows? Maybe they’d merge naturally. Three, no replicant would be allowed to get strong enough to defeat an android (or two -- seriously, what were the twins thinking letting Nier get so powerful?).

Hopefully this makes it very obvious that the death of humanity was entirely the fault of Project Gestalt itself and the androids meant to oversee it -- at least the androids have the excuse of being programmed to act a certain way, but still. It's so frustrating that we just have to accept that humanity was doomed even though, by its own lore, there was a lot that could have been done to attempt to save humans. Like, I love you, Yoko Taro, but gees.

anyway if you've read all this I'm so sorry but also I'm REALLY interested to hear what y'all think about the Nier universe and it's facets. idek why I've got such deep brainworms but here we are.

P.S. As of writing this, I've played some Nier: Reincarnation and it just further implies that the way they created and treated replicants was both A) awful, holy shit, it's so bad, and B) ill-advised on every level. I don't want to spoil but good lord. Honestly, I think at this point YT just wants to express/nail home that humanity was doomed to fail because of its own cruelty and flaws. ok ill shut up now bye love u

#nier replicant ver.1.22474487139...#nier replicant spoilers #nier automata #nier lore #rant #nier project gestalt #long post #nier lore discussion

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iconic-ponytail · 3 years

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How did @imreallyloveleee, @satelliteinasupernova, and @kesleyjo know to tag me in something right as I was starting to attempt productivity for the day?? idk but thank yall :)

How many works do you have on AO3?

Only 8, I guess? I guess I tend more towards verbosity than prolific-ness.

What’s your total AO3 word count?

349,536 (... see above comment I guess lol)

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Only Riverdale. Well, a little but of Harry Potter when I was like, 12. And I have (1) Nancy Drew CW draft that is sort of aimless and may or may not ever see the light of day.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. revelation in the light of day

2. when you're young you run

3. what doesn't kill me makes me want you more

4. in case I stand one little chance

5. i'll be (your) home for christmas

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Yes! I am behind on a few fics though, for sure... but I always eventually get to them! I appreciate that people will engage with what I work on and often say both very kind and insightful things.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I don't think I have a single one. I love writing angst, but I don't love ending on it, I like it to go somewhere distinctly happy. That might have more to do with Betty and Jughead than like, any ship I might ever write for, but I only write them, so...

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

I mean I wrote a 23k sappy af ending to revelation and it felt like the most cathartic to write of all my happy endings. I for sure cried multiple times in the process.

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

No, and I guess never say never? But I love an AU. I did write a arrested development AU drabble that felt a little unhinged lol.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not a lot, I have gotten a couple comments that hit me kinda weird, but only one I've ever deleted because someone was annoyed at me for something I had tagged and mentioned several times in authors notes, at which point... like just don't. Get a hobby, yo.

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yes, though "what kind" is... I'm not sure? As loveleee said, usually more of the M territory than E? I guess I would say I don't write a ton of smut for the sake of smut, it usually has a purpose to the characters/story. (But don't get me wrong, smut for the sake of smut is great and I read it readily.)

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes, but the people of Ao3 are good people and took it down very quickly after I emailed them! I only found it by accident, but this person had plagiarized another bughead fic as well. It felt very violating and upsetting, but also relieving to get justice. Google your own fic every once in a while, I guess?

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

With the one and only @heartunsettledsoul! Listen, that fic is very fun to write, but we are both eternally burying ourselves in projects. But it will continue :)

What’s your all time favorite ship?

The one I've written 350k for, obviously.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Nothing I've posted, I try not to post anything I don't intend and have a plan to finish. I have two unposted WIPs that I very much plan to post and finish but I'm trying to avoid writing another fic that takes me two years and change to finish, so I'm trying to push them both further before posting.

I guess I have two shorter WIP ideas that may or may not ever turn into something but I also never want to say never!

What’s your writing strengths?

While plotting is not *easy* for me, I also love a plot that snaps together like a puzzle, without becoming dominated by the plot alone. Character driven plot, perhaps. Reflecting on comments I receive, I think tone and pacing are another, and all of this is probably why I gravitate towards more long form fic than one shots.

What’s your writing weaknesses?

Repetitive action verbs. Run on sentences. A lot of nitty gritty technical stuff. Sometimes wanting a particular self-indulgent moment or comment and while fic is certainly a place to be as self-indulgent as you want, sometimes it doesn't work. Also, trusting things to be conveyed by showing-not-telling is hard, and sometimes I drift into doing both, which feels like overkill.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I don't do it much, some Spanish via Veronica, I guess, and then I often use a lot of phrases that I am familiar with/know are used colloquially. (I don't speak Spanish well but I am immersed in a bilingual space daily via my job.)

What’s the first fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter, on fanfiction.net

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

For the sheer effort/blood/tears, a revelation in the light of day. For something I just still get a *nailed it* feeling about, years later, in case I stand one little chance. And honestly, the one I'm working on now is a Western-ish AU have been dreaming up for over a year, I'm psyched out of my mind about (if I can figure out how to plot the last 30%)!

Tagging @heartunsettledsoul @stonerbughead @jugandbettsdetectiveagency

#this was diverting #tag game

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danideservedbetter · 3 years

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Alright so, here’s how things are gonna work.

First off, welcome to this side blog. Since it won’t be jolly fun fandom content and will be a little more personal I decided to separate my health and writing journey from my fandom stuff, although all my fandom content will still be linked on my main blog here.

(I write Izuocha/bnha content which isn’t super popular so if you’re not here for that then yeah, I don’t blame you. But if you are I have a link to our discord and community content pinned so def check it out if you’re interested.)

Secondly, you guys will hear details about stuff relating to my health like what kinds of things affect my disorder based on the tests some doctors are ordering, how I’m trying to improve my diet and activity, and routines and goals I’m attempting for myself. I am underweight, and that’s something I’m going to be talking a bit about, so if that’s triggering following this blog might not be the best thing for you. Details under the cut.

So, what kind of disorder do I have and why did I decide to make a health journey blog? My disorder is called idiopathic hypersomnia. Basically what that means is that when my disorder is acting up (based on factors like stress especially or my generalized anxiety rearing its ugly head) I have the capacity to sleep. And sleep and sleep and sleep and sleep. My longest recorded uninterrupted “sleep-attack” was 26 hours long and ever since I caught Covid in January, my body had been slowly growing weaker to the point I was starting to develop atrophy. I’ve had this ten years and my neurologist suspects inactive cells from mononucleosis I caught at 14 was the cause, because other IH patients have linked their sleeping problems to a case of mono or have had it at some point in their lives.

This disease stole many years and many things I’ve looked forward to from me. I lost friends and experiences and failed so many college classes I had to drop out.

I’ve decided I’m taking them back.

It’s not going to be easy. Just as it took ten years to convince myself that my tiredness was something I chose to give into, it took several extra years and many fights with my family to convince them that I had a real actual neurological disorder and that I need help sometimes. My parents and grandmother finally understand that I have to finish college and find a very special boss willing to work around my erratic progress on projects, but the outsiders they married are not as convinced. My grandmother’s husband kicked me out of their house because he wants to be the center of attention and doesn’t like that some days I’m so weak that I needed my grandmother’s help, and my father’s wife thinks I’m a lazy and ungrateful leech who “gets anxiety just being around” me. Both told my father I’ll never be happy so why even bother with me, but my dad is actually striving to understand his own recently-diagnosed PTSD so while we still butt heads he’s understanding that I have to take things day by day because every tiny circumstance affects my disorder.

Now, why did I decide to air all this out? Well, being open about my disorder and how it affects me has helped at least two people that I know of find out that the tiredness they experience isn’t the typical “American work force exhaustion” they were trained to believe is normal. So if I can help even one more, I’ll gladly talk about what this entails and how I deal with it day to day. Another reason is that I’m also one of those big advocates who believes talking candidly about mental health destigmatizes it and sharing ideas can help us grow as people and maybe make it a little easier to deal with.

So now that you know a little bit about me and my disorder, here are my big goals for the next three months provided my university takes pity on me and actually lets me go back.

First up: create routines to train my body to get used to living a full day fully awake. This includes waking up at the same time and going to sleep at the same time. It means getting dressed and going out and doing things, even little things— which I’ll get to in a sec.

Second: I write. I have a novel in limbo and I write fanfics. Writing is a big part of who I am and I’ve written one thing this year, which for a whole six-month stretch is upsetting and disappointing. Today is my reset. In the next 569 days I want to to finish the six stories I have in limbo (except the larger one) and finally reach my goal of posting 200k words in a single year. I wont be hard on myself if I can’t accomplish this because honestly finishing anything in the chaos of my life is going to be a miracle but. There ya go.

Third: go back to freakin college. I don’t care what it takes. Sit down with every official, every lawyer, and every professor it takes to get me back enrolled in classes in the fall.

Fourth: I have several smaller things I have to do, short term goals, stuff like that. I’m gonna create a to do list each day of small tasks I want to get done and while some of these things will be part of my daily routine I am throwing in like one or two things a day that just need to be done. My writing goal will change daily and I’ll keep y’all updated on that with every post I make.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Dani! That’s so much!! Well, a few months ago I remembered hey!! I basically have a computer in my hand, why make it hard on myself. So I downloaded certain apps to help me out. This isn’t me saying “hey go subscribe to these apps because I said so” it’s just that through a lot of trial and error I’ve come to find that these certain apps work for me and I’ve yet to come across one that has the functionality of everything I need.

Tiimo — so this is an app I found developed by people with autism for people with autism to help them develop good habits and routines. It has preset daily schedules (things like morning routines or nightly routines or work routines) and an internal alarm to let you know when to move on to the next task. I myself have extremely low-level aspergers (to the point where my doctor won’t give me an official diagnosis because I didn’t want people think that *it’s* the reason I have issues with school), so moving from task to task can be difficult sometimes and I also deal with getting distracted. This widget also appears on my home screen so I know what I have to do at a glance. You can program in weekly and daily tasks to fully customize your schedule, which is fantastic for someone like me who wants to for example rotate chores. This is hopefully going to help me get my body in the habit of adjusting to routines and transitioning from one task to another, as well as getting important things done responsibly.

Promptly Journals — I’ve been told for a while that journaling is helpful mentally to kind of recenter yourself, so a bit ago I downloaded several journal apps to add to my morning routine. Now some will prefer more creatively free journals, but I prefer this one that gives me small prompts I can do in a short amount of time that just allows me to get my thoughts down. I can even add pictures at the bottom that go with the theme! I’m scared I’ll run out of prompts eventually lol but until then this app works very well for my needs.

Stretchingexercise — Now idk if it’s from lack of sleep from my disorder, the position I sleep in when I do sleep, all the physical labor I’ve had to do in the past couple weeks, my medicine, or w h a t but I suffer from body aches like no one would believe. I know stretching is supposed to help with that, so I downloaded this app to help me do non-demanding physical activity that wakes me up in the mornings and helps relieve pain so I don’t keep having to take pain relievers. This one has different plans for things like muscle tension, back pain, warm ups— and it also gives you rudimentary weight updates (I’m underweight lololol so we’re looking to fix that) or plan updates. It’s worked really well for me so far and gives you animations and descriptions of the workouts (some taken from yoga) as well as timed breaks and a narrated guide. It’s been pretty helpful in temporary relief and if nothing else gets my blood flowing in the mornings.

Widgetsmith Step counter — in addition to the stretching thing one thing my doctor and I discussed that helps with the sedentary lifestyle is simply walking. I’ve needed so bad to relieve my stamina and reverse the atrophy, and walks have been stellar for that. Now I live in the New Orleans area so humidity and heat force me to go at the crack of Dawn, but honestly my weenie dachshund Charlie really enjoys our time out so he goes with me! The CDC recommends 10,000 steps a day which seems like a lot and it is if you don’t get out much. But this gives me an excuse to get dressed and do the hygienic thing and help Charlie be healthy too, as well as give me time for brainstorming because we walk in a truly beautiful area. I’m sure everyone installed widgetsmith with the last iOS update (Apple users anyway) and while at first the step counter was just interesting I’ve since come to rely on it! We do our 5000 in the morning, which of course is half, and I find that other things I do throughout the day typically drive the counter higher. Anything leftover can easily be accomplished by an evening walk in our neighborhood. Now the caveat is that I have to remote have my phone in my pocket because I don’t own a watch or anything fancy lol, but honestly I need to keep it on me anyway so that serves as a good reminder.

Todoist — this one is my FAVORITE. Ever since I’ve decided that I have trouble keeping track of things I need to do and small stuff I need to keep in mind and appointments, etc, I decided to find a list app. This is the one I found that absolutely helps me for everything from my list of room supplies I need to buy, to my reading list, to general tasks I have coming up I need to complete. And its widget functionality keeps it right on my Home Screen! More organized individuals can just use tiimo, but I’m definitely not one of those individuals so this app is sorely needed and appreciated.

And of course, I know building habits the first few weeks is HARD. So for days my body doesn’t respond to my alarms, I have a checklist of the key things I have to do to keep my life as functional as possible.

So that’s that on that. I’m going to try to keep writing updates and my daily goals in a post in the morning, and reblog what I accomplished in the evening. It’s gonna be tough. But I’m thinking if I can start small I’ll be able to build my stamina enough to return to college and be successful when I do. I hope that anyone watching this journey draws some kind of meaning or inspiration from it. And you guys can even follow along if y’all want! Especially for writers or people trying to get healthier. I can’t promise what works for me will work for you (and honestly I expect things to change especially if I get accepted into college again) but hey, I figure it’s worth a shot.

I hope you guys enjoy watching this journey, if nothing else I hope it’s entertaining. And maybe it’ll be successful. I do know that I’m just gonna try for it, and hope it works out.

First daily update to follow

Xoxo

Dani

#idiopathic hypersomnia #health and wellness #writing challenge

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shellyseashell · 4 years

Text

TLC MODERN AU

Yeah this is basic I don’t care

I’m gonna start by saying they’re all the same age here because that’s easier for me to keep track of.

Cinder was in a fire as child, killing her parents. When no other family members stepped up to take her, she was sent to be fostered by the Linh’s. Garan soon died, and after a few years Adri was investigated for child abuse. Pearl was old enough to move out at that point, but Peony and Cinder weren’t, and were sent to the Benoit’s.

I should stay here that Cinder still has prosthetics, but I’ll have to do research on that.

All three got along well (Cinder, Peony, and Scarlet).

Still trying to decide if Peony dies or not.

When she discovered Levana was her aunt, she tried to make a connection to her, as they were family. Levana did not like her, but Evret (he’s alive) and Winter did, so they attempted to keep in contact.

Levana and Evret soon got a divorce.

Since Evret and Winter are technically her family, they started the process to adopt Cinder (and Peony?)

It took a really long time, but eventually it was successful and she had a new family.

Cinder then met Jacin, but we’ll get to him later.

Kai’s father is the ceo of some company that actually helps people in need and isn’t evil, and Kai is eager to follow in his footsteps.

His mother died at a young age, and Torin, his father’s business partner or whatever was quick to step in as another parental figure.

Kai is really popular at school, both for his looks and personality. He’s super kind and just generally attracts people.

Kai helps out a lot with his father’s business, and I imagine he would get involved in clubs at school or start one of his own that works with his father’s business.

We’ve already established that Scarlet knows Cinder and possibly Peony because she deserved to live.

They still live on a farm, just outside of town. The three would often help out around the farm.

Scarlet was involved at sports a lot, probably soccer and basketball, something where she can throw stuff at people or something idk.

I think she’d be an activist and support stuff like BLM and ACAB (I mean it’s canon that she hates the cops).

She’d probably get involved with the club Kai started, which is how she met him.

Wolf was also involved in sports, or maybe he did karate or something. Anyway, he’s athletic and active.

I dunno if he’ll go by Wolf here or Ze’ev, maybe Wolf will be a inside joke or something.

He met Scarlet when they were partnered for a project and 95% of it was awkward flirting.

They hit it off immediately, obviously, and probably start dating not too soon after.

Cress is really shy and awkward, so she typically hide out in the back of classes and doesn’t participate.

She is, though, really good with tech stuff, so thats how her and Cinder meet.

Then, one day, Thorne, who’s super popular and flirty approaches her not because he needs his phone fixed or something, but just because he wants to.

Needless to say, Cress doesn’t know how to react, and initially forces him away.

Thorne keeps trying though, so eventually Cress agrees to go on a date hang out with him. She’s not that surprised that, while he’s a trouble maker, he’s actually really kind and sweet.

Yeah, Thorne has a knack for getting in trouble, like in canon, but he swears he doesn’t mean to. Is he telling the truth? Who knows, not him.

Thorne is popular, and has been in a lot of relationships, mostly because he’s trying to find love since he parents are Not Nice.

Okay so Winter is related to Cinder still and Cinder and maybe Peony live with her.

I still want her to have some sort of mental illness, not sure what.

Whatever it is, it affects her a lot, and she prefers to be with someone else whenever she can so they can help her.

She likes helping people, and she probably also gets involved with Kai’s club, since Scarlet told her about it.

Her and Jacin met because their father’s were friends.

I dunno what their fathers do though. Maybe the work for the government in some way?

Anyway, her and Jacin have been friends since childhood and have been crushing on each other for years but they’re oblivious fools.

Kinda.

Anyway, for some reason I see Jacin taking Karate? Like he wants to learn to defend himself or whatever and so he tries it and vibes with it?

Lmao I cannot see Jacin being as energetic as you have to be for some things at my dojo (specifically stuff like ‘yes I can!’ and such)

I dunno if every dojo has that sort of thing but.

I could see Jacin forcing Cinder to at least try it for whatever reason.

Cinder is reluctant and first but ends up loving it.

Iko and Cinder have been friends for years. She was there throughout the whole abuse-investigation-fostering-adoption situation.

Iko is popular too, though she doesn’t flaunt it.

I should probably add headcanons about Peony if she’s alive in this but idk that’ll take some thought.

It was Iko that got everyone to meet. They’d been mutuals and knew who everyone was for a while, but it was Iko hosting a move night or game night that really got everyone to meet.

This is where Kai and Cinder can meet and I bet you can guess what happens next.

Anyway, if I think of anything else I’ll add it.

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icharchivist · 3 years

Note

Ok I have finished autumn troupe and can I just say every single member drinks the dumb bitch juice and the respect juza hyodo juice (minus juza himself).

I LOVED autumn troupe those dummies. Every single autumn member just. respects juza for his passion of acting so much. you love to see it.

Also that scene where reni confronts taichi had HUGE man wielding sword protecting cat energy.

Also yuki pointing out the similarities between juza and muku was so funny yet also made me want to cry.

Everyone in autumn troupe sees juza and goes, is anyone going to project on this guy? And not wait for an answer. Sakyo sees his younger self, banri sees a rival, Omi sees his dead friend, and taichi sees someone more deserving to be on stage then him. And juza still has no self respect ahhhhhhhhh. They're killing me.

Anyway I just finished autumn troupe and really like their story. It was good. Glad I didn't watch the anime lmao.

HELLOOO WELCOME POST-AUTUMN NEW FAN!!

i am so glad you liked this ride omg!! yes!! they’re dumb but i love them!!! so much!! and they all respect Juza so much!! well, yeah, except Juza himself like you said.

but they’re SO GOOD and i really love their dynamic and i’m really glad you liked it too!!

and omg right, at first you can worry like “wow Taichi is the only puppy in the Autumn troupe will he be okay” and then it’s just “yeah everyone is protecting him now he’s fine” djhfdlkfjfd

and Yuki is right and he should say it!! yes we cry over the Sakisaka&Hyodo family somewhat hating themselves so much!! what about it!

(though i was crying during my reread realizing Yuki could TALK considering he originally kept Muku at a distance because he was worried about Muku being associated with him and people eventually attacking Muku because they were friends - the exact same reason Juza keeps Muku away as well. I was just wtf. you guys wtf. Especially since Muku, in both situation, is more than able to take care of himself. His only enemy is himself, the guy can and will square up for you!!)

“ is anyone going to project on this guy? And not wait for an answer. “ dFKLDJFMLDJFMLFDKFDMLDFLMDFKFD BEAUTIFUL AND YES? AUTUMN IN A NUTSHELL! the description is spot on for the rest yeah!! really all of Autumn gets unified around Juza!! and Juza still hates himself... poor baby. He makes me want to cry.

Really glad you enjoyed Autumn and were glad to have read it all! i’m so happy!

the anime did so many.. weird thing with Autumn? First, i mentioned it vaguely before, but they cut the fact Izumi had to run after Sakyo and CONVINCE HIM to take the audition (in the anime she just, gives him the flyer, and he smiles, and then he comes and it’s like. Kinda missing how much he’s genuinely convinced he doesn’t belong on stage here).

There was a lot of rushing around and i was personally peeved with like, the removals of the streetacts all together. So no scene where they have to face how scary the troupe is, or the first thing that showed Omi’s past by having people recognizing him before he talked about his past. And so the whole scene where Banri fights for Juza and are saved by that mysterious long hair guy is completely cut as well. I’m just. *waves fist to the sky*.

But the one thing i’m really peeved about (with that last one i just mentioned but dljfhdlkf i’m biased on this one) is that they removed the whole show where Taichi stole the gun props*?? In the anime we see Taichi hesitate to take them, but not taking them in the end, and Sakyo is watching, hinting that therefore he knew Taichi was the one screwing them up. i think it’s possible he did know, but my problem is that it misses out on the fact Taichi was really going strong in his attempt to sabotage the show, which is even more reasons why he didn’t know how to safely backdown, while also robbing Juza of that one scene where he still goes on stage and plays without the guns in his hands, and the intensity of his performance is such that everyone let it slide for the time for Sakoda to get spares.

(*if memory serves me right, it’s the same show where Sakyo fumbles his line and gets depressed over it: the Sakyo fumbling is kept in the anime! so this whole dilemma is discussed. But the rest of the show is cut which is. god i get they had time restrictions but that’s such a waste)

this removal really bugs me!! idk maybe i’m really nippicky but that feels huge on Juza’s character, especially considering how much he had to struggle to get good at acting, and it showed also his resolve and how this specific resolve is what keeps everyone in awe and in the same vibe as him kinda?? and for Taichi too bc it shows how ruthless he was trying to be and how much that adds to his guilt! Man that bugged me SO MUCH when i watched the anime.

edit: and i forgot but they also had it as in, Omi and Sakyo’s portrait were told at the exact same time, so you’d cut from one to the other, and personally i thought it kinda ruined the emotional flow of both dfhd like both concludes on how much they don’t want to fail Juza so i get why, but the tone of their portrait is different enough for it to bug me

It’s not as bad as Winter got in term of removed stuff (but we’ll get there when we’ll get there) but it still peeved me and idk it would be a shame to not see those scenes in their full glory on a first read yaknow?

Anyway i’m SO GLAD you enjoyed the ride!! i’m so happy to read this ask ahhh

Hope you’ll keep having fun and thank you SO MUCH for sharing!!

Take care :3c

#ichafantalks a3 #Anonymous #ichareply

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justsomevoltronstuff · 4 years

Note

FINALLY SOMEONE WITH OPEN REQUESTS THANK YOU 🥰🤗 This will suddenly take a dArK tUrN- can you do a Paladins (and Allura) x dying reader? Haha idk but I'm in it for the angst and crying 👌👏 You seem like a wonderful person so keep on being wonderful (*˘︶˘*).｡*♡

my cousin gave me the BIGGEST judgemental side eye when she asked what I was writing about and I told her character deaths, I’m tryna not to fite, y’all I ain’t gonna lie imma throw hands frfr

also, so sorry this took so long, I’m pretty sure I rewrote it like five times tryna get it to my damn satisfaction (which is such a nasty habit, don’t reread you’re own shit if you want an honest opinion on it y’all)

also also, I’m on mobile rn so I can’t cut it so just so all y’all know:

DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO DEATH/GRIEVING. THIS IS LITERALLY ALL ABOUT DEATH AND GRIEF AND IT IS MAJOR SAD BOI HOURS AND I WORRY ABOUT YALL AND DONT WANT YOU READING THIS IF YOU KNOW YOU WONT HANDLE IT WELL😤😤😤

this is a long one bois so if you wanna skip around they’ll all be colored as per usual and the order is: Shiro, Lance, Hunk, Keith, Pidge, Allura

please enjoy lovers🥺💜🌸

»»»»»»»»»«««««««««

The battle wasn’t an easy one by any means, it was touch and go for the whole team. You knew it wasn’t gonna end well, but that had never stopped you from putting forth your all. You swung your weapon, keeping your enemies at bay as much as you possibly could. Your team was all over the place, the enemy having succeeded in separating everyone in hopes of tipping the odds in their favor. It worked.

You couldn’t keep up alone. Fighting had always been instinct to you, you had never felt so overwhelmed as you had in that moment. They were closing in and you had nowhere left to go and no tricks left up your sleeve. You were stuck, and there weren't any quick enough plans to keep you out of harm's way this time.

You held your ground for as long as you could, refusing to give in easily. You fought until your limbs were too exhausted to move and your breathing was too shallow to continue. It was in a moment of hesitation from sluggish movements that they finally overtook you, and you felt pain spread through you, worse than any you had ever felt before.

You heard shouts of panic, you listened as the battle got thicker and the enemy retreated, you smiled at the sound of victory. Your team shouted in excitement, another battle well fought, another win for Voltron.

Attempting to sit up, you felt pain rush your body once again, causing you to groan. Your team's cheers quickly died down as they took in your situation. Before you knew it, your head was being cradled by the person you wanted to see the most at this moment. Their eyes were filled with concern and tears were brimming. You attempted a soft smile, in hopes of comforting them. Your breathing was shaky as the brushed your hair away from your eyes.

“You’re going to be okay.” They promised.

Your last thoughts were of your family, earth, the realization you’ll never feel rain on your face again, of your team, who you hated abandoning, and finally, of the one person you hated leaving the most. You knew you weren’t making it out of this one, you despised you were going to pass in their arms. You wished you could turn back time and fight a little harder, you wished things could be different, that you could live the life the two of you dreamed together.

“Don’t blame yourself.” You whispered in response.

They shook their head in defiance. “Don’t talk like that. We’re gonna get you to the castle and into a med pod and you’re going to be good as new in no time.”

You shakily lifted a hand and brushed a tear from their cheek. “I love you.”

Their face was filled with pain and you knew the only thing keeping them from losing it was this being your final moments. “I love you.” They responded, their voice cracking. They leaned down and gently pressed their lips to yours.

You felt everything around you becoming further and further away.

“I’m sorry.” You whispered out to your team as you took a final shaky breath, your senses being overwhelmed as you felt yourself fading.

Shiro

The tears kept flowing as he watched the light fade from your usually bright, curious eyes. He pulled you into him as he sobbed into your shoulder, wishing you’d wrap your arms around him and tell him everything was okay, that there was no reason to cry. But you didn’t, and you never would again. Your team surrounded the two of you, tears running down their cheeks as well as they watched their leader completely break in front of them, their friend tucked in his arms unmoving.

He tried to move on. He knew you wouldn’t want him blaming himself or wallowing in misery on your behalf. He mourned you, he still does, but he needs to keep leading the team, he doesn't have time to let the memories of you being by his side drag him into complete uselessness.

It was hard, it took a long time, but eventually he could remember you, his lover, his everything, without crumpling immediately.

When the team got back to earth, it was raining. He stood outside, face tilted to the sky, just letting the water drench him. The rain reminded him of you, you always told him it was what you missed most about earth.

It was as he stood outside, head facing the endless clouds, lighting striking in the far off distance, enduring the first rainstorm he’d felt since before the Kerberos Mission, that he smiled for the first time since the morning before your final battle.

Lance

Once you had taken your final breath and your gentle hand slipped off his, all composure he had left was out the window. He screamed and sobbed in the middle of that battlefield. His team knew he had a tendency to keep his emotions at bay, so watching him break over your body, knowing there was nothing they could do to help him, was heartbreaking. They all shared his grief, but none on a level even close to him.

You had been his rock, you helped him keep sane and reminded him he wasn’t a horrible person. He sobbed harder as he remembered how excited you were to meet his family once all of you went back to earth.

After a while he just, stopped. He had run out of tears, he had his moment of grief, he had to stand tall and move on now. Or at least that’s what everyone saw. Every single day of his life, he blamed himself. If only he hadn’t let himself get separated from you, if only he’d gotten to you a little sooner, if only, if only, if only. In the end, he knew there was no changing the outcome, but that didn’t stop him from imagining worlds in which you were still by his side.

He never thought he’d dread finally going home, but as the team landed, and a woman that looked eerily familiar came rushing from the building towards them, he felt himself snap. HE crashed to his knees as the woman came up to the group, looking around at each of them.

“Where are they?” she demanded. “Where is my child?” She had tears in her eyes as she noticed Lance on his knees, holding back tears and hugging himself.

“I’m so sorry ma’am,” Shiro started but she just shoved him away.

“You let them die?! My child died in outer space, surrounded by a bunch of strangers, and you didn’t even try to save them?!” She had tears rushing down her cheeks. “Who do you even think you are? Do you think you deserve to ball up because of them? You don’t even know them! No, nevermind, yes, you do deserve to be down there, not out of pity, but out of remorse. This is all your fault, all of you! My child never should’ve come to this stupid place.”

He flinched as he took in the woman's words.

“That is enough ma’am. Your child died honorably, saving people, and they were our family. We aren’t just some strangers, we’re the people your child died for. So, in all due respect, I suggest you back away from your child's mourning lover and stop slandering the life they died protecting.”

Everyone shut up in shock as Keith put your mother in her place, causing her to take a deep shaky breath, tears slipping from her eyes at last as she took in his words.

Hunk

Your hand slipped out of his as your eyes fluttered shut for the final time. He didn’t rage, he didn’t scream or burst, he just silently held you a little longer, his tears running down his cheeks until they ran dry. He didn’t have the energy to leave you yet, he never thought you’d be the one to go first.

The team didn’t know what to do, Hunk had always been the emotional one of the team, never being shy with showing his feelings. He wore his heart on his sleeve without regret, but now, he just looked emotionless.

He tried to distract himself. He threw himself into engineering projects and every mission the team ran he put everything he had into completing. He stopped cooking all together, every time he even so much as looked at the kitchen door, his heart would break slightly more. Memories of the two of you spending hours in that room, cooking with space goo and assorted ingredients you found. It hurt too much to attempt doing something you were both passionate about without you.

He was silent as they finally made it back to earth, his family welcomed him home, having adr him his favorite dessert and everything, but he just didn’t have the heart to enjoy it. The two of you had spent countless hours sharing stories and memories and things you wanted to eat when you finally made it back, and that banana cake had been the one thing you couldn’t wait to try.

He cried himself to sleep that night, wishing he could change the past. It was difficult for him to find something to fight for, a future without you having been something he hadn’t considered since the two of you met at the Garrison all that time ago. He came to the conclusion that his heart would never recover, but that wouldn’t stop him from fighting for the future you so easily described to him, a future where aliens and humans could live in peace, where the Galra weren’t an enemy, where the two of you could live out blissful lives together, having done your time in a war that wasn’t supposed to be yours.

Keith

His breath got shallow as yours ceased, his heart racing as your own stopped all together.

“This can’t be happening. Y/n please! Please open your eyes. Please,” his broken sobs echoed as the Paladins watched him plead with your lifeless body.

They didn’t know what to do. The normally stoic red paladin was shattering before their own eyes, more emotions flooding him than they expected to be possible. It was heartbreaking to say the least.

They had all lost one of their own that day, but none felt it more than the broken boy.

You were his family. You stuck by him on earth when no one else would, you left the Garrison with him just so he wouldn’t be alone, where there was him, there was you, and now you were gone, and he didn’t know how to cope without you.

He changed. He was already pretty closed off from the rest of the team, he never really smiled a lot, he wasn’t an extremely emotional person, but after his outburst that day, he completely shut off everything. Jokes that Lance would tell that would once make him smirk fell on deaf ears, even Hunks cooking and Shiros dadly advice didn’t pull him out of it.

The team learned to just work around his new behavior, wishing he’d go back to being a hothead or something. Anything.

He pushed his hardest on every mission, fighting as though he had absolutely nothing left to lose, because, in his mind, he didn’t. He felt alone in a universe out to get him, he knew he had friends, a team, even family now, but he didn’t have you, and nothing would be the same because of that. He would never be the same reckless, hotheaded, careless red paladin he once was, because he did all of that stuff knowing you’d either back him up or smack him upside the head.

Everyone told him time would ease the pain, but as he brought flowers to the memorial grave they created for you, on the anniversary of that day, he knew that no amount of time given to him would ease the pain he still felt. Because he was too painfully aware that all of that time given to him was time taken from you.

Pidge

Pidge was never exactly one to attach to people, not really, and definitely not so emotionally. Attachment to robots? Sure. But human beings were a whole lot more difficult. Which is why when the two of you admitted to being in a relationship, no one saw it coming or knew what to expect, it was completely uncharted territory.

And now, as Pidge was hovering over your body, swearing to find a way to help you, they once again didn’t know what to do.

Pidge sobbed and made halfhearted promises, telling you that you were going to be okay, but knowing you weren’t, and you never would again. It took the entire team to pry Pidge off your dead body, Pidge immediately begging them to let go, just needing to be near you.

After the shock of it all wore off, Pidge holed up in the garage/workspace, working on this project and that, trying desperately to keep distracted, but nothing worked. Every single thing held a memory, every memory brought you back to life, and every memory would ease and you would just vanish all over again.

Countless nights were spent wrapped up in your clothes, with your blanket, in your/on your side of the bed, weeping into the familiar smell of you. Pidge didn’t express emotions very well, but it was obvious this time. The distracted mindset, the distant gazes, the quiet sobs no one else was supposed to hear, all of it made it glaringly obvious that Pidge was not okay.

Pidge took to wearing your clothing more often than not, determined to keep any and every part of you alive so the memories of you would never fade.

Pidge was never one to attach to people, but Pidge also never imagined a life where you weren’t in it.

Allura

She watched you drop from the other side of the battlefield, a heartbreaking shriek escaping her throat as she watched you fall. In her mind you were supposed to be invincible, you were her wonderful significant other that gave her a reason to keep going, you were always telling her that everything was gonna turn out the way it’s supposed to, that the two of you were gonna make it through anything that could possibly be thrown your way.

She ruthlessly fought her way to you, no longer caring for leaving as little harm as possible. They hurt you, they didn’t deserve her sympathy. Once she finally got to you, the battle had ended and the other Paladins had joined her in surrounding you.

“Help me get them to the pods.” Allura pleaded, clutching your lifeless body. “They have to be okay. They can be healed, we just need to get them to the pods.” She was frantic, emotional, scared, and panicking.

Keith gently grabbed her shoulder. “They’re gone, Allura. They’re already gone.” The Red Paladin pulled her into his arms and let her release everything that day.

Everything following was a blur. The team moved forward with plans and missions, Allura never missing a beat. There were points when the team was concerned with how well she seemed to be doing, she lost her lover and was seemingly perfectly okay. But late at night, if they listened close enough, they could here the stifled, choked sobs of the princess as she got out all the pent up emotions in preparation for the next exhausting day of not letting her personal life interfere with the mission.

»»»»»»»»»«««««««««

I might be the only one that got emotional™️ during this one, but I hope you all enjoyed🌸

~Admin Rori💜

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k9kid · 4 years

Text

So I love jatp and I started watching other shows the cast has been in. I stated rewatching Voltron, and tried Knight Squad but coukdnt really get into it. One I've fallen in love with is 100 things to do before high school with Owen Patrick Joyner. It's about three friends, CJ, Finn, and Crispo, in middle school. It's basically a bucketlist of fun cool stuff to try with each other before they reach the insanity of high school. I just- his character Crispo is adorable, funny, sweet, a good friend, a lil clueless and defiantly not the sharpest tool in the shed, but he's a good goofy guy.

So in one of the episodes, called, become a mad scientist, the three main characters enter the science fair and all of them run into their own problems, even Finn the science genius struggles when he's up against another student making a robot, although Mindy is cheating and getting help from grad students paid to make her win.

The main character CJ has some mental blocks regarding her very smart older brother who won the science fair all three years in middle school, but with support from friends, family, and teachers she finds her way.

I also love how the show shows us how girls sometimes struggle with science because the people in their life, in school, have either shown or told them that they won't be good at it, so why try. CJ is so nervous about it that she tries quitting multiple times and only comes up with her final project on the day of. Mindy literally paid other people to do the work for her, because she doesn't think she can win first place on her own.

Crispo who has never excelled in science, and really just wants a shiny trophy and to do something with his friends, struggles to come up with a "real" project. His first two attempts are rejected by the science teacher: counting how many times he can hop, and how many armpit farts he can make. Both of which weren't science projects yet but could have been turned into ones had the teacher or his friends helped him. With hopping he could have done something regarding muscles, endurance, balance, and/or gravity, with an experiment and a larger sample size from his class. With armpit farts, idk, something with friction and sound maybe? Point is the science teacher and his friends could have helped him develop his ideas but they just rejected them.

What he eventually goes with is that he, Crispo, is science. Saying that his body allows him to hop, makes noises, and can digest the burger he had for lunch. His teacher, fed up with him, lets him into the science fair, but says he'll be the worst project there, which is just mean and rude. But I mean he is science, he's literally a science experiment from God, we all are. He's human biology. His final project is literally him wearing a white t-shirt that says "I am Science" with an arrow. And a poster broard with pics of the brain and lungs, with the words digest, hops, wow, and amazing on it. Admittedly not the best presentation, but I just thought about all the stuff he could have written or said about the skeletal, muscular, nervous, digestive, and circulation sytyems and all the other stuff that makes up the human body, that makes up Crispo. If he had more support from his friends, family, and his teacher it could have been a more fleshed our project than it was. Finn's final science project, a robotic potato launcher, malfunctions and destroys all of the other projects, so Crispo won and got all three of the tropheys by default.

Just goes to show how much support from the people in a kid's life can help a kid flourish both in school and life in general. And that even ideas that sound crazy, weird, or stupid can be really cool once you take a closer look.

Love JATP, love the music and love the characters, and all the actors and actresses.

Love 100 things to do before high school, even thougb its old now and was a nick shoe for kids, love all the characters, esspecially Crispo and his sweet goofy personality.

#100 things to do before high school #crispo powers #cj martin #finwick #mindy #mad scientist #episode #jatp #julie and the phantoms s1 #alex #owen patrick joyner

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thewhizzyhead · 4 years

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djfjjgh okay well first off I’m nowhere near as creative as you are, and second I had the basic concept before I knew what a musical was, so it was kind of structured as a kind of realistic fiction story, which I proceeded to forget about haha-

then my friend sent me picture of a book called “a pho love story” and it’s basically Romeo and Juliet with rivaling pho (I’m too lazy to get the right markings) restaurants and it just!!! made many so happy!!! because it was Vietnamese American teens dealing with Vietnamese American things (and hoisin sauce. so much hoisin-sriracha-lemon-pepper-bean-sprouts in the pho and I’m just 🥺🥺) and then all the ideas came flooding back ya know-

so basically it was going to center around these two Vietnamese girls, right? and they’re both closeted because yes, projection whaaahahaaaa but also because. you can get kicked out of the house for smaller things than being lgbtq so-

*flashbacks to the time 5 year old me could not sleep at all and was very very distraught so I was put on the front porch in the middle of the night while heavy rain fell for about 3 scary minutes*

anyways, one of them, Linh, has really really strict tiger-parents, is a straight-A 4.0 gpa student (wait that rhymes.. straight A gpa.. gasp), president of the student council, debate club, I’m trying not to project here so let’s just say she’s everything her parents want her to be, and aims for even more (because if she’s not more than her parents want, what if they suddenly raise their expectations and become disappointed? What then?)

and I know I said it was originally going to be a story, but I do have an inner desire to songwrite, so whenever I’m laying in bed at night I try to make things rhyme and well. “I’m your perfect Asian child / I’ll do anything you ask / I’ll try and try until I die and maybe even after that / cause I’m your perfect Asian child / and you know what that means / I’ll never be enough / and you’ll keep yelling at me” is kind of the chorus she has? idk anything about song structure but. yeah.

and the other girl, Renn, has more relaxed parents, who actually believe in mental health (*cries in i wish*) and don’t have too high of an expectation. they still have a bit of the strictness, because it was how they were brought up, but they’re trying, even if they don’t do a really good job at times. this is partly because Renn started not caring about what they thought and distancing herself drastically whenever they started becoming very tiger-y, and they don’t want her to run away like she threatened to because they do care, so they try their best to be supportive. Renn is a good student, because she does like school (it was an escape for her, even if she doesn’t need an escape as much anymore, but she and Linh will bond over it), but she doesn’t care as much about math and the like as much as she loves writing. And her parents try to be supportive of her not going into STEM, (she prefers they use STEAM for obvious reasons), but they do lament she’ll be poor the rest of her life- not that Renn cares anymore. Renn is also sort of planning to come out, albeit only once she knows for sure she’ll be safe, because her parents are still unpredictable.

the little thing I came up for her was “I don’t think you realize / I’m never coming back / I’m not the girl you thought I was / I’ve long since changed track / I’ve finally found my freedom / and if you don’t understand / then I guess this is goodbye / I’ll take my final stand” haha this totally isn’t what I wish I could say without having a breakdown in front of my parents what-

anyways, they meet one day at a boba place, where Linh is studying and Renn is just attempting to buy out their entire stock of boba ice cream bars jokingly. Renn eventually says something like “con có nhiều tiền, cho con mua kem điiiiiiii” (translation: I have a lot of money’s let me buy your ice cream pleaaaaase) and Linh scoffs, because saving money, ya know? (there’s probably a grammatical error or two in there but hey that’s just how it is-)

and Renn is like “what? too stuck up to spend a little, enjoy a little?” to which Linh replies “not stuck up, just realistic.” and Renn doesn’t believe her and keeps poking fun, and Linh is like fine! What’s your idea of fun, then? And Renn is like I thought you’d never ask~

so then over the course of a couple of weeks or so, Renn and Linh get kind of close (but supposedly still hate each other), but then Linh’s parents start getting mad that she’s “hanging out” more than she’s studying- which causes Linh to kind of panic and just cut off ties with Renn entirely in an attempt to go back to her old habits

Obviously this doesn’t work, and Linh only feels worse about everything, but on top of all that Renn is kind of hurt because she doesn’t know why Linh just started avoiding her and so cue the ✨drama✨ fjfjjgf

and yeah! That’s about... the most I planned out haha- :3 (I still think your musical has a much better plot and cooler ideas than my.. whatever this is though-)

-🍵!!

dude. dude. holy fuck. tHIS IS GOOD. THIS IS SO SO GOOD HOLY FUCK WHERE DO I START. FIRST OF ALL I LOVE THE CONCEPT OFNA WLW VIETNAMESE MODERN ROMEO AND JULIET STORY (pls don't make the girls die tho) AAAAAAA twists on the romeo and juliet story are really really interesting! Second of all AAAA hard relate on the star-student-asian stuffs fjcjd third of all ooohh i really really like the verses you have here (hard relate on renn's verse cause ow) they are legit really freaking good!!! I wish i was um a lot more eloquent on expressing my thoughts on this but I really find this super interesting and I hope you keep on making this anon!! Feel free to tell me more about it if u wanna YAYYY

#this is legit a good idea tho AAAAA #renn and lihn have my entire heart #i hope u keep on developing this idea tea anon YAYYYY #yay tea anon's here!#ask me stuff

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beni-draw-ikemen-please · 4 years

Text

EYES NOSE LIPS CH 3

LEONA KINGSCHOLAR X FEMALE PREFECT

Rating: Mature Readers (no smut yet)

Word Count: 3,247

You can read the previous Chapters below:

CHAPTER 1

CHAPTER 2

TW: Starts out mild but gets pretty rough and rowdy by chapter 6. If you don’t like non-con touching, kissing, please don’t read this fic.

This story takes place a little bit after the start of Episode 3. I can’t say this has no spoilers. Some of the dialogue are verbatim from the game. But mostly, it’s a re-write of the situations from Episode 3. Not entirely spoiler-free.

Twisted Wonderland is very inclusive with the MCs gender. But, because this is my story and I'm using my OC/MC, I'd like to give you a heads up that my character is female. I will also be mentioning her name, and will be describing her accordingly. I'm not using ____ or y/n for this story.

Translating Leona's cadence to english (which starts in my head at first) is very very awkward for me still. Also, I change from referring to the MC as "the prefect" to the original way the characters refer to the MC, which is kantokusei or kantokusei-chan.

I just think that writing "the prefect" sounds so dry? And all the personality of how the different characters remix her title is lost in translation. I'm also a huge fan of honorifics so I'm not omitting those~

I hope you enjoy my attempt to write. It's been a while and this is mostly to alleviate my many feelings for Leona.

For Asami's name, I used the kanji characters for "Morning" and "Beauty". So I like to reference the morning to her. I'll be doing this on several occasions so I wanted to mention it here. (I also have several jokes about her name and mornings and idk how I could translate that to english and still make it work idk)

I took Taeyang's song "Eyes Nose Lips" as the title because it was the only thing in my head that felt and sounded appropriate. I'm still looking to see how this story goes but I'm really hoping this would be the basis for all my Leona x Asami fanficions to come in the future.

Thanks for reading!

Leona and Asami arrived at the Savanaclaw Mirror chamber.

They calmly walked towards the mirror chamber. A quiet walk together.

An unusual tandem. Asami’s eyes watched the dark-haired prince strode a few steps before her with gloved hands in his pockets. His shoulder slouched forward. A slight drag in his footsteps.

Just as Asami was going to pass through the mirror, Leona pulled her back by the arm. “What do you think you’re doing?” Leona looked down on her with raised eyebrows. His eyes narrowing in slight disbelief how little she knew about the mirrors even after spending over a month at Night Raven.

When did he feel this casual around her?

When he realised just how hard he pulled her back, he let go and rubbed his forehead in irritation. Asami wore a worrisome face. Her brows crunching together ever so slightly.

“What do you mean? We’re going to school, right?” Asami faced Leona, her eyes apologetic and worried.

Had she done something wrong?

She didn’t say anything, so it couldn't be that she said something wrong?

“Without your furball, you’ll be yanked around if you pass through the mirrors.” Leona sighed trying his best to come up with the easiest explanation for the little herbivore.

“Is that why it took me a while to go home yesterday? I felt like the mirrors wanted to vomit me out…” Asami chuckled while rubbing her cheek with her finger. Now she realised why it was so difficult to pass through the mirrors whenever Grim wasn’t around.

Asami eyes dipped low — her dark hair partially covering her eyes from Leona’s vision — disappointed with herself. She apologised.

Leona offered her a gloved hand. “It’s easier if you hold on to me.”

Asami winced at the sight of Leona Kingscholar offering his hand to her. She was doubting the day - is this for real?

Why is he being so, tame?

And nice?

And polite?

And patient?

But she took his hand. And the blush on her face intensified. She was aware of it. But because she had the habit of keeping her head down, she had assumed Leona did not notice. But he did. That day, he noticed her blushing as she took his hand. Leona pulled her close and they walked hand in hand through the mirror.

Passing through the mirror with Leona was a completely different feat—when she walked with Grim and the others, she would still feel a slight jolt as they walked towards their destination.

Walking with Leona felt like walking on the moon. They passed slow but firm. She felt at ease — she felt safe around him. Which was weird, because she had expected a predator to have a more threatening aura around him.

When they finally arrived at the hall of mirrors, Leona let her go and walked towards the opposite direction. Raising one hand as if waving at her goodbye.

“Wait!” Asami called out to him, Leona stopped in his tracks. Surprised to hear her voice so chirpy in the morning.

“Dorm Leader, I—” this was the first time she ever called out to him like this. Her words trailing off as she realised how casually she addressed him. And Asami’s face couldn’t be redder.

She stopped and took a deep breath. Leona faced her, a calm face waiting for her to speak.

“I wanted to ask why you were looking for me yesterday…” She faced him. Courage lifting her face up to him. A deep breath bracing her for the impact of his answer. Despite the blush on her face, her eyes did not waver. They were looking straight at him. As if they didn’t share the same bed the previous night before.

Leona ran his gloved hand through his hair, trying his best to hide what little blush might project from his own face. He sighed, trying to hide his usual countenance.

“You don’t need to make me a lunch box anymore. Don’t overwork yourself.” Leona spoke slow, and there was a hint of kindness there. Or maybe Asami was just imagining it. Leona turned to his heel and left. The same hand raised as he disappeared into the dark hallways.

******

Asami walked into the classroom, barely on time. She put her bag down beside Deuce. The middle seat by the last row, two seats from the window. Everyone’s barely settling in. But Asami felt refreshed. Her eyes didn’t feel itchy nor hot anymore — her face finally free of dark circles that’s been stuck for days. A light energy lifted her spirits, she was ready for the day. Deuce examined the prefect and sighed in relief.

“You’re okay.” he sighed in relief with a friendly pat on Asami’s shoulder. “We all thought you were already eaten by a lion” a heavier moan followed.

“I’m okay. I actually feel better. I got to sleep a lot.” Asami’s smile lit up the room. The corners of her mouth lifted along with her shoulders. For the past two weeks she’s been either tired or groggy or both. Deuce followed her smile. “I guess it’s a good thing you guys will be getting your dorm back.”

Asami’s smile momentarily vanished from her face — a sudden realisation jolting her thoughts of Leona to a halt. They had two days left until the Ramshackle Dorm was handed back, keys and all. And she felt a pang on her chest.

“Kantokusei ?” Deuce noticed the prefect got quiet all too quickly. The way her eyes dilated in shock. They will be getting their home back, but she couldn’t even feel half happy about it. The sleeping figure of Leona flashed in her head.

Deuce watched the prefect as she lowered her head — a habit she did a lot when she was embarrassed or when she’s thinking or trying to conceal her irritation. She was quiet. And he was quiet along with her; Deuce felt like it was the only way he could secretly cheer for her. Asami’s lashes dipped low, trying her best to mask the shock with a more neutral expression. Deuce likened it to the calm before a storm. He felt a shiver down his spine as he felt the aura emanating from her.

“Hey...” Deuce tried to lighten the mood, and for a moment, Asami snapped back to the reality that was the classroom in the first period. Her face became softer again as she turned back to her classmate. “It’s okay. He’s still around school.” Deuce offered Asami a sly wink and turned forward as the teacher walked in to start the day.

“How—?” Asami hunched forward, seemingly trying to hide her already small self. Her left palm covering her face. Deuce chuckled a bit and gave her a friend pat on the shoulder. “Anyone would have noticed~”

****

Jack Howl tried his best and made sure he gave it all with everything he did. He took his studying as seriously as he took his training. He wasn’t the best student in his class but he’s not bad either, you would usually hear him say, “If you didn’t work for it, you don’t deserve it.”

He admired people who worked hard. He admired people for trying and he tried his best to give a helping hand whenever someone needed a hand.

This is probably the reason why for the past week he’s been noticing her.

He’s usually awake early — six in the morning. He goes out for an hour of running. And when he returns, he would find her already wrapping two sets of bento boxes and getting ready to leave for school.

Jack didn’t try to spend a lot of time with the prefect but he was happy to find out their schedules aligned. They would often pass through the hall of mirrors and “go home” together. He didn’t think much of it, he didn’t want any more than that. He liked it though. Especially the fact that she was in close proximity. The fact that when he walked through the corridors, he could pass by their classroom and see her focusing on the board. He remembered those small moments the way someone would keep snapshots of their significant other in their pocket.

He didn’t want to presume anything, really. He just really liked having her around. And he felt fortunate to be able to spend as much time as he could with her. Eventually, he asked her to stop making a bento box for him. And she tilted her head in confusion, her face finding the answers from his face. “You don’t like my cooking?” she pouted. She’s a lot more comfortable around Jack. She’s in the same year, yes, but she’s still two years older than him.

He found it very cute that even though she’s a bit older, she’s still so small compared to him.

Sometimes when they would walk together, he would often look back to see if she was still with him. She moves cautiously, though, she tries not to show it. One time he offered that she could walk in front of him, if that ever made her more comfortable. But all Jack got was a brimming smile of joy.

“Your tail is fluffy, it’s cute!” a half chuckle and a slight blush filled her face. She tried not to laugh, “I like dogs, they’re the best~” She smiled, her shoulders slightly lifting with the sides of her mouth. A comforted expression painted on her face as she reminisced her own pup.

Jack sighed and scratched the back of his head; his own cheeks turning a brighter shade of pink. “I— I’m not a dog dammit! I’m a wolf!!!”

He was a bit irritated, but Asami only chuckled and bumped him a little bit. Jack could feel the tip of his eyebrow twitch at the sight of her, doing the best she could not to laugh. And then she took a deep breath and with a satisfied sigh, she gave him another smile. “You’re the best, Jack. Thanks for that.”

It was as if whenever he looked at her, the sun was always shining in her direction. And the way her cheeks lifted when she smiled filled Jack’s chest with satisfaction. He made her smile like that. How bright she looked and Jack admired all of it.

Before he knew it, he was always watching her.

How focused her eyes would be on a book when they’re doing a study group in the library. She would be quiet, but she would have a stern look on her face. She would blink slowly, frequently, and Jack found it incredibly hard to focus whenever she sat across from him to read. She wouldn’t notice how his page never ended up turning whenever they read together. Jack was relieved she was always so engrossed in the topic she’s reading about and he got away with not reading the whole page.

At least he could watch her.

She would often hunch forward, book in hand, and sticky notes almost sticking to her blazer. Her eyes looked down as she explained how the spell is constructed and why these elements worked best together. She would talk non stop about a single potion. He would sometimes think why she wasn’t ever sorted into Pomefiore. Jack would often listen, giving it his all to focus; and eventually everything will drift into a slow echoed murmur. Their surroundings seemingly blurring, and he would focus on the movement of her lips. He could feel her voice disappearing in this heavy swirl of confusion and admiration. The scent of her made him dizzy. He liked it though. It made him focus more on her mouth. And how, as she leaned forward, the sides of her hair would follow, and she, with the utmost care, would slowly tuck her hair behind her ears.

Jack liked the way she did that.

The motion in which she used her middle and ring finger to catch her hair, and it would slowly slide down the side of her cheek. Her ears were small — at least to him, they looked small. And her hand would pause there, just for a second, her mouth still moving. Explaining something — what was it? Alchemy? Right, he was having a hard time with that, wasn’t he? Alchemy. Right.

“Jack?” Asami’s voice was worried, she leaned towards him, her head tilting. “Are you okay? Sorry, was I going too fast?”

Jack took a deep breath and shut his eyes tight. He then abruptly stood up, towering above Asami’s sitting figure like a beanstalk magically popping out of the ground reaching for the sky. “Yoshaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!”

Jack yelled at the top of his lungs, slapping his cheeks with both hands. The loudest roar inside the library in centuries — perhaps. Asami sat there unmoving. Her eyes confused and a little bit worried. “A- Are you okay?” Asami whispered, lowering her head cautiously,

“YOU THERE! WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING BEING SO LOUD IN THE LIBRARY????!!!! SHHHHHHH!!!!!” Asami and Jack bowed in apology and took their leave.

He took pride in his athletic abilities but understanding alchemy — compounds, composition of the elements, how they are grouped together and the reasoning behind spells’ recipes were beyond him. Asami would often help them out. Deuce, Ace and certainly Grim were not the best in the subject either. But Asami took her readings seriously. And she’s often lending the guys in class her notes. Deuce and Ace would protest, telling her that she’s their friend so she shouldn’t just give her notebooks out to random people from other classes. Jack somewhat agrees with that statement, but he wasn’t one to tell the prefect what she can and cannot do.

He liked that about her. She was always considerate of others.

Ruggie is particularly fond of her, and Jack liked the fact that Asami and Ruggie shared a friendship almost like how his younger siblings did. He noticed how Ruggie grew to be more affectionate towards her, and how he would often scold their dorm leader for making such a mess and giving her such a hard time.

Sometimes they would sit by the lounge together, hot tea in hand after dinner, and they would just talk about the day. Asami liked hearing stories of Ruggie’s classes, and about his hometown, about the ‘street rats’ he used to play with, and how he missed going back home. Jack liked that she listens. Her face focused on the person speaking, and the shift in her eyes, eyebrows and facial expressions as the story progressed were little moments he held together; pieces that captured a photo of her face, tucked inside his chest pocket. He allowed himself to cherish her.

And whenever he closed his eyes, he would remember how the sun shined towards her direction. He always loved mornings. And now, he has a new reason to love it even more. Asami sparkled the same way mornings brought new light into a room. This was what he felt whenever they came into eye contact or when he happened to see her face. How could he ever forget her? He can’t and he won’t. It brought him joy to see Asami as another form of beautiful mornings in his life.

Definitely, she was an image he would keep in his pocket for a long time.

****

He noticed though, how her eyes would follow the Savanaclaw dorm leader. How she would keep an eye out for him, ostensibly looking for him in the distance whenever they all gathered anytime or anywhere. It was as if she had hoped to be where he was instead of where she was.

And Jack caught her sighs when the dorm leader wasn’t visible throughout the day. He took note of her anticipation when they were about to go back to the dorms. The way she walked faster, grabbing Grim as they arrived at the hall of mirrors.

Her eyes sparkled whenever he felt like Leona Kingscholar approached them. He noticed the little things that made her blush, the little things that made her smile, and the things that made her sigh. They were all wrapped in the arrogance and charm of the Savanclaw dorm leader, and he couldn’t agree more. He also admired him for all the obvious reasons and he could never bring himself to betray Leona. His loyalty towards him never wavered.

What a waste. He thought to himself. Looking at Asami’s smiling face, her lowered head partially covering the deep hue on her face and then Leona’s usual countenance.

Did he even notice her? Even the slightest?

Did he ever notice how happy she looked whenever he would walk into the room? How happy she looked as she tied the knot of his yellow furoshiki every morning. How happy she looked — albeit the lack of sleep — after she finished her chores and found him reposed in the dark sheets of his bedroom.

The more Jack fell for the prefect, the stronger he cheered for her stolen glances and her hidden blushes.

*****

“Two more days, huh?” Ruggie tossed a juice box back up in the air before popping a straw through. “You excited to get your room back?” he chuckled, turning to Leona laying on his side, his arm and elbow supporting the side of his head.

“Hmmpf—” Leona couldn’t bother to answer a stupid question. His eyes were closed but his ears were listening to Ruggie as he went on about the day. Giving the occasional monosyllabic responses.

“So, you don’t have your special box today?” Ruggie eyeing the lion’s usual request from the cafeteria.

A noncommittal shrug from his shoulders. “She can’t make lunch boxes if she’s sleeping in.”

“Are you sure you didn’t do anything?” Ruggie checked to see the expression on Leona’s face as he asked once more, “You’re awfully calm about this.”

Who wouldn’t have noticed. They purposefully stayed away from each other but something kept driving them both to find the other. Ruggie would catch him staring. Watching carefully. Electric eyes following her movements slowly. She wasn’t aware of it, no Leona is careful and deliberate when it comes to his prey. Ruggie grimaced at the thought of the dark-haired prince being so patient — when in fact he was never one to be patient to begin with.

And Ruggie knew Leona better than anyone in Night Raven College.

“I thought you liked the prefect…” Ruggie couldn't stomach keeping the words in. He had to say it. Someone had to. Leona let his arm give out and flopped on the floor. Silent for a few minutes. Ruggie waited for his response as she looked up at the sky. The clouds give bits of shelter from the mighty radiant sun.

“Doesn't mean I have to act on it…” Leona’s words were soft, as if he was singing a silent lullaby. It was gentle as it could get as he permitted Ruggie to witness. There were very few times in his life where he allowed his vulnerability escape from within the cages of his heart. And Ruggie would be one of the handful he allowed to witness.

Ruggie sighed, completely forgetting about the fullness he got from his lunch. He eyed Leona and his store-bought package untouched.

“What a waste….” He muttered under his breath. Was he referring to Asami or Leona’s lunch? Who knows. He was careful not to let the prince hear. He pushed himself from the floor and walked away from the rooftop, leaving Leona alone.

What a waste indeed.

****

#Twisted Wonderland #Leona Kingscholar #Onibeni #Twisted Wonderland Leona #Leona x Asami

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