#i want to ask them what i did wrong but they will probably say there was nothing
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alllgator-blood · 2 days ago
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'FOGGY STREETS AND CHRISTMAS LIGHTS'
(part 3/3)
I'm gonna infodump about the backstory of this comic, don't feel obligated to read it because it's not cotl related it's just personal stuff, I just want to be able to write about it somewhere cause I can't really talk to anyone about it.
As always, thanks for reading this far, sorry my stuff has been such a bummer so consistently. This comic goes out to all my "christmas induced depression" homies, I left my house maybe like ~5 times all month and it was NOT pleasant hearing "IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR!!" on the radio when I'm so ready for it to be over. Gonna take it reaaaaal easy til the year ends, you guys take it easy too!! Got some asks I have to respond to when I'm more stable but probably no new comic pages til january
Alright uhhh so this part of the comic is pretty much taken directly from the last time I saw my great-grandma alive, a few days before christmas. She didn't remember me, but at the nursing home there was a piano, and I sat down and played some stuff because I didn't know what to say. I was really into lisa the painful rpg at the time, and I played that "I've got the joy" song that the villain sings without realizing it was an old christian campfire song. She didn't really say much or move that whole night, just kind of gave me a polite blank smile, but started singing the words when I played the notes to that song.
I kinda stopped in shock, my dad frantically asked me to keep playing, so I did. While the comic I made is way more sappy than the actual moment was, I wish I'd cherished the moment longer. I didn't know it was the last time I'd see her alive. Every family christmas was held at her house when she was around, so it's been weird the past few years. I actually lost another dementia-addled grandma to cancer on christmas eve in 2009, so the holiday was already kind of weird for me on top of everything else that makes me sad this time of year. That's what part 2 was about, I'll spare the details but I wrote leshy to act out how I felt back then. Why are we all sad? This is supposed to be a happy time, all the decorations are up and we're almost all here, so why is everyone smiling yet everything feels so wrong? I feel like since leshy's canonically the most ignorant one to things lurking below the surface, he'd be the one to try and make everyone feel better but not quite understand why everyone is so miserable. My first memory of having self injurious behavior came from then, hence why I had leshy pull his leaves off in the last comic. It was confusing and frustrating and I was just old enough to comprehend something was wrong, but not old enough to understand the depth of it, it DEFINITELY didn't help that nobody helped me back then so I made leshy's siblings actually come in clutch instead of grabbing him/yelling at him.
That night with the piano was something that's stuck with me the few years she's been gone, but I felt kind of strange when I asked my dad and my sister about it and neither of them remembered it. The room we were in was completely empty so nobody else witnessed it but us three. I myself have a history of head trauma and memory loss (plus, native americans are disproportionately more likely to develop dementia... lucky us) so if I ever forgot about that moment, there'd be nobody left to remember it. Sometimes when I do comics, it's my way of going "this happened at some point, and the only evidence it ever happened was me witnessing it, so if something happens to me I want the memory to stay alive in some form."
Anyway. The autistic urge to overshare, am I right? Idk what my religious ass great-grandma would think of me drawing demonic comics about my last memory of her, she'd probably think it's funny though cause she raised my dad whose interests have always been "death metal and devil worship". I'm not sure if anyone read this far, I just hope my dumb comics can convey the things I can't say with my voice and struggle to say through text. None of this was supposed to be "feel bad for me!! Woe is me!!", it was supposed to me more like...cathartic? Healing? I almost didn't post this comic because it felt kinda weird, but seeing people connect with it made it worth it imo. Thank you
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flemingology · 2 days ago
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O is for the only one I see ─ alexia putellas x reader
part 2 of my l-o-v-e miniseries. full masterlist here!
in which: you and Alexia have your first communication mishap after a family meeting gone wrong
warnings: argument, miscommunication, insecure reader
wc: 7.9k
an: i hope you understand the concept lol. i think the name 'miniseries' makes it sound like it's all gonna be 1 continuous story but it's more a one-shot vibe based on a lyric each time, as i describe in the summary. nonetheless, hope you enjoy!
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In the past few months, Alexia had seamlessly become a part of your every day in ways you never thought possible. From her quiet insistence on walking you to your car after late dinners to the way she texted you pictures of her travels when she was away for games, it felt... natural. Easy, even. But meeting her family? That was a whole new level, one you weren’t sure you were ready for.
The way Alexia spoke about her family never failed to fill you with warmth. The way she, her mother and her sister bonded together over the course of their lives was something you could only admire. They were pillars in her life, the people she would fall back on when everything else in her life seemed to be going south. And now, you were about to meet them. It wasn’t just nerves bubbling under the surface, it was the nagging doubt if you were going to fit in. If they would approve of you, think of you worthy enough to date their daughter.
Alexia didn’t date. Hadn’t, in a good few years. She held herself to high standards and her family knew that, so they only wanted what was best for her. Whether that’s what you were, they’d have to see. What if they don’t like you?
“You know they’re going to love you,” Alexia said, leaning against the bathroom door frame with her arms crossed over her chest, as you smoothed down your shirt for what felt like the sixth time in as many minutes. You shot her a glare. “You say that now. Wait until Alba starts grilling me like a detective.” She laughed, walking over to you and fixing your collar. She cradled your face, hands on your cheeks and pressed a reassuring, lingering kiss against your lips. “If Alba says anything, I’ll handle her. I just want you to be yourself.” You shot her a grateful smile, turning your gaze back at the mirror, taking your appearance in another time.
“Do you think this is too much? Or… not enough? I can change if you want, I have another couple options laying on the bed.” Alexia wrapped her arms around your waist from behind, and some of your nerves settled at the warmth that radiated from her embrace. She pressed gentle kisses against the side of your neck, you leaning your head back against her shoulder to allow her more space. “You look perfect. My family is not expecting royalty, you know. They’re just excited to meet you.” You turned in her grasp then, tucking a couple strands of hair behind her ear. “Excited to meet me? Or excited to see if I’m good enough for you?”
Your girlfriend–– it still felt surreal to call her that, chuckled at that, leaning her head against your shoulder. “Mi vida, stop. They won’t judge you. Mami will probably try and feed you whatever she’s been cooking since this morning the second you walk through the door, and my sister will ask you a hundred questions about how we met.” You stayed silent at that, taking a moment of appreciation for the kindness and understanding that came from your lover.
“You’re overthinking. They’re going to love you. How could they not?” Alexia tilted your head back up, her eyes meeting yours. “Because I’m not… you. I don’t have the perfect career or the perfect family. What if they think I’m not good enough?”
Alexia bit her lip at that, before taking your hand and leading you back to the bedroom. She sat down on the bed, signaling you to come sit on her lap. You did, your knees on either side as you faced her again. “First of all, I’m not perfect. And second, that’s not how my family works. They don’t care about status or titles. All they care about is kindness, respect, and whether you make me happy.” The Spaniard rested her forehead against yours as she spoke.
“And do I?” “Every single day.”
As you left the bedroom together, Alexia threw another look towards you over her shoulder. “Oh, and for the record, if anyone asks you about football. The answer is always Barca.” You giggled, rolling your eyes at her words. “Noted. You’re going to owe me for this.” “Dinner with the Putellas clan is a small price to pay. Trust me.”
The apartment door clicked shut behind you, and you’re met with the cold afternoon air on a wintery Saturday in Barcelona. You pulled your jacket a little tighter around your figure, already cursing yourself for having dressed too lightly for the occasion. The streetlights cast a soft glow on the quiet neighbourhood, the orange-yellow hues bouncing off the cobblestone pavement beneath your feet. You despised Winter. Despised the cold, despised the dark mornings and dark evenings.
Alexia’s car brought you back to your senses. It’s familiar, and the way Alexia’s perfume lingers and mixes with the faint sense of leather calmed you down. The soft hum of the engine the only sound between the two of you. You couldn’t bear the silence any longer though, as if it was weighing you down with each passing minute.
“Okay, let’s set some expectations. What’s the worst thing your family could say or ask tonight?” Alexia glanced over at you, an amused smile on your face as she expertly manoeuvred the steering wheel one-handed. “Worst thing? Hmm… Mami might ask if you know how to make paella. She likes to test people on their cooking knowledge.” You scoffed nervously at her words. “Great. Let me just Google how not to butcher a classic Spanish dish before we get there.” Alexia cocked an eyebrow at you. “Relax. You could burn your toast and they’d still like you.” You didn’t respond at that, and that led to your girlfriend briefly squeezing your knee, and then resting her hand on your thigh. “I’m serious. You don’t have to impress anyone. Just… be yourself.” You looked out the window, looking at the passing cars. “I wish I had your confidence.” “You don’t need that. You have mine.”
The roads were quiet for the time of day, but there’s a faint hum of life outside. The city felt alive but not overwhelming. Alexia’s playlist waltzed through the background, the songs that remind you of your lover calming your senses once again. You noticed the way she taps her fingers on the steering wheel in time with the music, her relaxed demeanor helping you stay calm. You didn’t want to mess this up. It had been a while since Alexia had seen her family, properly, for more than a couple short moments after a game. Somehow, you hadn’t met them yet. The games you went to, they couldn’t come and vice versa. It was Alexia’s mum that insisted she brought you to the family dinner, something that on its own should’ve calmed your nerves, but the rational part of your brain was completely at the mercy of the overwhelming feeling of self-doubt.
The journey didn’t take as long as expected, traffic not nearly as bad as either of you had foreseen. Alexia’s hand was tracing soft, reassuring patterns on your thigh and your hand was on top of hers, steadling grounding yourself with her touch. Before you knew it, Alexia pulled into the driveway of her childhood home. “Oh God, I didn’t realize we were here already.” Alexia chuckled, but stayed silent for a moment. She let you come to your senses, knowing you were going to be fine, but just needed a moment to ground yourself. Your eyes searched the area, and you were overwhelmed by the sheer amount of cars that were all around the house. “Baby, how many people are here tonight?” Alexia winced at that, having forgotten to mention that it was never only close family when the Putellas’s came together. She tried to remain casual, though. “Eh, maybe like 20 people? Just a small group. It’ll be okay, amor.” You mumbled something incoherently under your breath and Alexia wished it wasn’t you cursing her out, but she didn’t have time to dwell on it as you opened your door and stepped outside.
“So, any final words?” You questioned, your hand resting on the doorbell, not quite ready to ring yet. “Smile. Be yourself. Don’t let mami overwhelm you with food.” You cocked your eyebrows at her. “Mhm, that’s a lot of pressure. What if I fail at one of those things?” Alexia pressed a kiss against your temple, mumbling her next words against your hair. “Then you’d still look cute failing.” You rolled your eyes. “Such a charmer, Alexia. I walked right into that one, didn’t I?” “Completely. But seriously, you’ve got this.” Your girlfriend took your hand in hers for a second and gave a reassuring squeeze, before she eventually rang the doorbell.
Eli’s face lit up inexplicably wide at the sight of her daughter. “Mi niña, look at you, you’re finally here.” She pulled Alexia into a tight hug first, and by Alexia’s body language, you could tell that she needed this. She practically smothered her daughter with affection, but Alexia quickly became second best the moment her eyes landed on you, her expression softening into one of pure warmth. “And you must be the one she hasn’t stopped talking about!” Before you could even fully process her words, she’s wrapping you in a firm, welcoming embrace. The scent of her lavender perfume and something faintly sweet invaded your senses, and it immediately struck you as a homely feeling. Her hug lingered just long enough to feel sincere, and when she pulled back, her hands settled gently on your shoulders.
“Come in, come in! Don’t just stand out here in the cold. I’ve been so excited to meet you." Alexia watched the interaction with a fond smile, her gaze flickering between you and her mum as you stepped into the warmth of the house. It felt almost surreal. The cozy hum of voices from the living room, the inviting smell of food wafting from the kitchen. You’re not sure what you expected, but it wasn’t this; this immediate sense of belonging. You couldn’t help but glance at Alexia, a smile creeping onto your face despite your earlier nerves. She noticed, her own smile widening in response.
But as Eli ushered you both further inside, you caught a fleeting glance exchanged between Alexia and her mum. It’s quick, almost unnoticeable, but something about it tugged at the edge of your thoughts. Maybe it was the slight furrow in Eli’s brow that smoothed out too quickly, or the way Alexia’s smile dimmed just a fraction before she responded. It passed before you could think too much of it, overshadowed by Eli’s bright chatter as she guided you toward the living room. But the seed of doubt was planted, small but persistent.
The living room buzzed with warmth and chatter as Eli guided you inside. The people gathered are lively, her relatives talking over one another, kids darting around in a chaotic blur, and a general air of familiarity you can almost taste. “Come, let me introduce you,” Eli said with a bright smile, tugging you further into the room. Alexia stayed close, her hand lightly resting at your lower back, an anchor as you’re passed from one family member to the next.
First, it’s Alexia’s aunt. A lively woman with curly hair and a booming laugh, pulled you into a tight hug as though she’s known you for years. “Oh, so this is her,” she said knowingly, nudging Alexia with a grin. “You didn’t tell me how gorgeous she is.” “Tía” Alexia mumbled, her ears turning pink, but the playful reprimand only made her aunt laugh harder. “And polite, too, I bet,” the aunt added, turning to you. “Please, call me Tía Marta. Now tell me, is she as much of a neat freak at home as she was when she was a kid? She used to get mad if I folded a towel the ‘wrong way.’” Alexia groaned behind you, but you laughed, feeling a little more at ease.
Up next is Alexia’s grandmother. She was smaller than you expected, her frame delicate but her spirit vibrant. She took your hands in hers, her skin soft and warm, and looked up at you with kind, twinkling eyes. “Eres preciosa, niña,” she said softly, her voice comforting. You managed a thank you in your best Spanish, and she beamed with pride. “Her Spanish is good!” she told Alexia in Catalan, patting your hand. “Abuela,” Alexia interjected gently, translating for you with a smile. “She says you’re beautiful.” “Well, she’s beautiful too,” you responded shyly, feeling your cheeks warm under the older woman’s approving gaze.
Then suddenly, a young cousin, the boy probably no older than six, bolted toward Alexia the second he walked in, arms wide and squealing her name. Alexia catched him mid-run, spinning him around effortlessly. It struck a chord somewhere inside of you, but you weren’t ready to develop the thought yet that was simmering at the back of your mind. “Who’s this?” the little boy asked once he’s settled in Alexia’s arms, pointing at you.
“This is my... friend,” Alexia said carefully, glancing at you with a flicker of hesitation. The little boy looked at you curiously before deciding, “She’s pretty. Do you like Spiderman?” Caught off guard, you stammered, “Uh, yes? I think he’s cool.” “Good,” the cousin declared, nodding seriously. “Because I don’t like boring people.” You shared a laugh with Alexia, who shook her head fondly.
At one point a couple minutes later, an uncle, already stationed near the appetizers, offered you a small plate. “Try this,” he said, holding up a slice of jamón ibérico. “This is the best you’ll ever taste.” You accepted it, and the flavor immediately melted on your tongue. “Wow,” you exhale, impressed. He grinned, nodding approvingly. “I told you. Good taste,” he said, pointing at you before winking at Alexia. “This one’s a keeper, eh?” Alexia chuckled, shaking her head. “She hasn’t even had the croquetas yet.” “Croquetas?” you asked, curious. “Just wait,” Alexia replied, her smirk confident.
Eli stole you away then, leading you with her to the sofa. “She talks about you, you know,” she said quietly, handing you a glass of wine. You blinked in surprise. “She does?” “Every time we talk,” she said with a smile, her eyes soft as they glanced toward Alexia. “You make her happy.” Your heart swelled, and you glanced at your girlfriend across the room, who was talking to her cousin again. She must’ve felt your eyes on her because she looked back, offering a small smile that’s just for you.
But then, there was a change in the air. It was not outright hostility, not even close. But as the introductions continued– they seemed endless, there was a distinct feeling in the back of your mind that you couldn’t ignore. A couple of the older relatives asked pointed questions about your work. Questions that felt almost like challenges, though they were wrapped in polite tones. “So, what do you do exactly? Must be quite demanding, no?” You answered as best as you can, without wanting to seem too affected by the unpleasant tone you’re being spoken to. 
As you were chatting with another of Alexia’s cousins, one of her aunts– not the one that welcomed you so warmly earlier, interrupted the conversation with a comment that caught you off guard. “Well, I hope you’re not one of those people who thinks dating a footballer is all glamour and fame. It’s hard work, you know.” The words are said with a faint smile, her tone almost teasing. Almost. But there’s something about the way her eyes lingered on you, as though she’s waiting to see how you’ll react. “Oh no, I wouldn’t think that at all.” You stammered, trying to laugh it off. Before you could say more, Alexia stepped in smoothly. It’s like she felt the discomfort oozing off you through the room, and she was by your side in a mere couple seconds to defuse the situation. “She’s not one of those people. Trust me.” Her aunt gave a small nod, her smile tight as she moved on to another conversation.
The exchange left you rattled, though you’re not entirely sure why. It wasn’t outright rude, but it felt like a test, one you’re not certain you passed. As the evening went on, you couldn’t shake the feeling that you were under a microscope. Most of the family was kind and welcoming, but a few interactions left a sour taste, small enough to make you doubt whether you’re overthinking it or not.
Your mind drifted back to the glance Alexia exchanged with her mom earlier. Was it about you? Were they worried about bringing you into this tightly-knit family dynamic? You glanced at Alexia, who was across the room now, laughing with her sister. She looked completely at ease, as though she belonged in this moment in a way you could never hope to. The doubt crept in again, insidious and unwelcome. Did you really fit into her world?
The room was alive with conversation and laughter, but your thoughts felt far too loud. You were perched at the edge of the couch, smiling politely as Eli chatted animatedly with a group of relatives nearby. Alexia caught your eye from across the room, her easy smile fading when she saw the tension in your shoulders. Excusing herself from the conversation she’s in, she made her way over to you, her movements casual so as not to draw attention. She sat next to you, her hand comfortingly placed on the small of your back. “Hey, you okay?” You take a moment, hesitating on what to tell her, because the last thing you’d want is to be a burden. “Yeah, just a bit… overwhelmed”, you eventually settled on. Her hand softly brushed against your knee and it brought you a sense of comfort. “They already love you, you know.” Her words settled over you like a warm blanket, and for a moment, you let yourself believe them. You nod, offering her a small smile. Thanks. I think I just need a minute to adjust.” Your girlfriend squeezed your knee and then stood up, moving back across the room to where she was before she came over to you. 
You started to relax again, letting the hum of conversations wash over you, but then you heard it; a hushed voice from somewhere nearby, just loud enough to catch your ear. “She seems nice, but do you think she’s really with Alexia for the right reasons? I mean, it must be intimidating, dating someone like her. Maybe she just likes the idea of it.” The words hit like a gut punch. You glanced around, trying to place the speaker, and your stomach sank when you saw it’s the same cousin who’d been teasing earlier. She was speaking to another relative, who nodded slightly but didn’t add anything to the comment.
“Well, she does seem a bit… out of her depth. But Alexia must see something in her.” “Yeah, but for how long? I mean, Alexia needs someone who can handle all of this. The attention, the traveling, the pressure. Do you think she’s that kind of person?”
Your pulse quickened and your fingers tightened around your glass. It felt like the air had been knocked out of you. Why were they even talking about this? Your stomach sank further with each word. You fought the urge to stand up and defend yourself, although you weren’t quite sure you’d know what to say if you did. Were you really out of your depth?
You glanced back toward Alexia, wishing she’d somehow heard the exchange, wishing you could share the burden of what had just been said. But even if she had been closer, would you have had the courage to repeat the words? The thought of telling her felt unbearable. What if she agreed, even a little? What if, instead of reassuring you, she hesitated? You tell yourself off, firmly. It was Alexia that brought you here, Alexia that wanted you here. She wouldn’t hesitate. But before you can dwell on what you heard too much, dinner is being served and you’re all called to the living room.
The dining room was warm and inviting, with a large wooden table set for everyone. The atmosphere was lively, filled with laughter and overlapping conversations. Alexia was seated beside you, and her presence helped calm your nerves, even though the earlier comments still lingered in your mind. You tried to focus on the moment, enjoy the evening with Alexia’s family and forget about what you overheard earlier
.“So, tell us more about yourself. Alexia mentioned you work on some pretty impressive projects.” It was Eli’s voice that pulled you out of your thoughts. You were glad that everyone seemed to be in their own conversations, only a couple relatives really listening in to what you were going to answer.
“Oh, it’s nothing too special. I mostly enjoy being behind the scenes, making sure everything runs smoothly.” You worry, overthinking every word as if the people around you would be nitpicking every single thing that you said.
“Well, Alexia couldn’t stop talking about how talented you are. She doesn’t say that about just anyone, you know.” Her words made you feel a little more at ease, but the shadow of doubt from earlier lingered.
Dinner went smoothly for the rest. Conversation flowed easily between a couple of you, the steadying presence of your girlfriend aside you doing just enough to ground you. During a lighter moment, someone shared a funny story about Alexia’s childhood.
“Did you know Alexia used to practice free kicks in the yard until she knocked over the flower pots? I think my parents banned football from the garden for a year!” The family laughs, and Alexia playfully rolls her eyes, leaning in closer to you. “Don’t believe everything they tell you.”
At some point, a little further down the evening, Alexia leans in quietly, her hand brushing against yours under the table. “You okay? You’ve been a bit quiet.” she asks softly. You force a smile, one you know she won’t believe, but it’s the best you could muster up. “I’m fine. Just taking everything in.” She didn’t push, but her eyes lingered, and you knew she was onto you. But you appreciated her for not pushing.
As the meal ends and people begin to move around, Alexia finds a quiet moment with you, sensing your unease. “You’ve been amazing tonight, you know? I can see how much they like you.” You found yourself in a quiet corner in the kitchen, and you allowed yourself to circle your arms around her neck, Alexia’s resting around your waist. “You think so? It’s just… a lot to take in.” Alexia nodded, briefly brushing her lips against your forehead. “I know it’s overwhelming, but you’re doing great. I wouldn’t have brought you here if I didn’t know you could handle it.”
-
The silence in the car was heavy, but Alexia didn't push. She glanced at you every now and then, her brows knitting together in quiet concern at the expression on your face. She decided she could do no wrong by testing the waters. “You were amazing tonight,” she said softly. You nodded with a small smile, but it was forced. You continued staring out the window, replaying the events from the night over and over again, especially the words from one of Alexia’s aunts kept on ringing in the back of your mind.
The car ride felt uneasy. It wasn’t usual for you both to be so quiet, and it almost felt awkward. You knew you weren’t doing the right thing by not telling your girlfriend what was wrong, but you couldn’t bring yourself to. You felt as if, if you would recite the words that were spoken by one of her relatives, that she’d agree. That she’d realize that they were right, that you’re out of your depth and not made for someone with a schedule like hers. So you stayed silent. As much as it hurt you to ignore Alexia’s silent advances throughout the drive, whether that be a hand on your knee or a soft touch on your thigh, you didn’t dare speak up. Not if that meant you would put your relationship at risk.
When Alexia pulled into the driveway of your apartment block, you could feel the hesitation in her movements. You unbuckled your seatbelt and she did the same, but before you could reach the door handle, you felt her hand on your wrist. “Amor, wait…,” she spoke softly. You closed your eyes for a second, taking a deep breath before leaning back against the car seat. “You did great tonight. I promise. It was everything I hoped for. I’m so glad you finally met my family and they love you. Te lo prometo.” You gave her a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes, but you couldn’t help but melt in the kiss that followed. You really shouldn’t have, should’ve held your walls up, because you knew you were in for a rough night as soon as your girlfriend left. But when she kissed you with that much fervour, pouring so many unspoken words in it, you couldn’t help but be at her mercy. “Call me tomorrow?” You nodded, but you weren’t sure you would. Stepping out of her car felt like floodgates opening. The emotions hit you like a brick: insecurity, shame, and the growing belief that this relationship was a mistake.
-
You ignored Alexia’s calls the following day. You knew it wasn’t the right thing to do. After all, she didn’t do anything wrong. But you couldn’t bring yourself to, not when you felt like every new word you spoke to her would bring her closer to realizing that you weren’t enough for her. Her texts start off light, reassuring. But when she realizes that you’re not going to reply, they come with an urge.
From: Ale I hope you’re feeling better today, amor. Let me know when you’re free?
From: Ale Hey, I’m getting worried. Are you okay?
From: Ale Please talk to me. Did something happen?
You read them but couldn’t bring yourself to respond. Each message felt like a dagger, reminding you of what you’re running from.
As the day dragged on, the insecurities became louder. What if you’re just another thing for her to take care of? You’re nothing compared to the people she’s surrounded with on a day-to-day basis. Her teammates, her family, they’re all… extraordinary. Alexia deserves someone who fits into her world effortlessly.  Not someone who feels like they’re constantly falling short.
You started analyzing every moment with Alexia, wondering if you’ve been blind to signs that this was doomed from the start. You were not made for this world. Not made for her. So you did the thing that you thought was best for you, best for her, you decided not to reply to anything she sent you. She’d get over it, she had so many other things on her mind that she probably wouldn’t even think twice. You’d get over it too, eventually. At some point. Probably. Maybe.
But God, were you wrong. On the other side of Barcelona, your girlfriend was miserable. She had sensed something was off since the evening before, but she didn’t want to pry, knowing that usually didn’t help her case in trying to get anything out of you. But now, as the afternoon bled into evening and she still hadn’t heard from you, prying was the only thing she wished she did. As far as she knew, things had gone quite well with her family. There wasn’t anything that she could remember that would warrant such a response from you, so she felt like her hands were tied in what to do.
She wanted nothing more than things to work out with you. She hadn’t felt like she felt about you in ages. You got her, you understood her, and she was so incredibly grateful for you. You were like a breath of fresh air in her clouded, busy life. So when she didn’t hear from you for a day, Alexia curled up into herself. She was worried, insecure, in her head and making up all kinds of scenarios that were way too obscure, but she couldn’t help thinking them anyway. What if you didn’t want her anymore after meeting her family? Was it not what you expected? Did someone tell you something about her that struck a wrong chord?
Despite the overwhelming thoughts that clouded her mind, Alexia manages to get out of her sofa that evening and try a different approach to get you back.
-
It’s well past 9pm when you receive a voicemail from Alexia, and you can’t help but listen to it. The prospect of hearing her voice was too good to turn down.
“Hola, mi vida. I don’t know what’s bothering you, but please talk to me. We’re a team, you know? You and I. Just the two of us. Let me in and we’ll work out what’s on your mind. And, check your front door for me. Te amo. So much.”
You hadn’t realized tears had welled up in your eyes at the sound of her voice, until one was rolling over your cheek. You quickly wiped it away, not ready to be vulnerable about this yet. Not when she was being so sweet. You mustered up the courage to get out of bed, walking the way up to the front door of your apartment. You checked the peephole, but nobody was there. You opened the door and spotted a bright bouquet of red and white roses on the ground, accompanied with a little envelope. Your first thought was about how Alexia had gotten into your building, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care about that right now. You picked up the flowers and smelled them, a faint hint of her perfume mixing with the fresh scent of the roses. It hit you hard then, another few tears escaping your eyes.
The letter that came with, was even sweeter. It wasn’t much, not a love letter by any means, but just a small couple reminders of how much she loved you. That she was proud of you. That she couldn’t wait to see you again and hear your voice. It only felt more guilt rise up in you. How could you treat this woman, who clearly loved you to the moon and back, so poorly? But the guilt wasn’t enough to overshadow the insecurities. At least, not yet. 
-
The office was dimly lit, the desk cluttered with blueprints, pencils, and a cold coffee cup that you’re not sure you even took a sip from. When things got rough, work is where you turned to in life. Work didn’t make you insecure. Work didn’t make you doubt yourself. It was always there. Steady. A pillar of strength that would never disappoint you. You weren’t the only one who knew that, though. As long as it took you to open up about your professional life to a certain blonde, she now knew everything about the ins and outs of your life as an interior architect. She too, knew that this was where you retreated when things weren’t going your way. To experience some sort of stability. To make you feel like even though everything else around you was crumbling, you still had this. The hum of the building and the outside traffic was the only sound until the door swung open abruptly, startling you.
Alexia walked in, her expression a mix of worry and frustration. She looked out of place here, her casual sweater and jeans standing stark against the sterile, professional backdrop. She didn’t speak right away, just stood there, her gaze fixed on you. The silence felt suffocating. You haven’t turned around yet, but the mere presence of the person gave away who it was.
“I knew you’d be here,” she started with. “You shouldn’t have come.” You had turned around on your seat now, but were still avoiding her gaze. As much as you wanted to look at her, take her in, because you missed her, missed her more than you could put into words, you didn’t. Because then it would take approximately 3 seconds for you to give up the facade that you’d been putting on, and you weren’t ready for that. Not when you weren’t good enough for her. She stepped closer. “What else was I supposed to do, huh? You’ve been ignoring me for almost 2 days. I’ve been losing my mind wondering what I did wrong.”
There was a sense of hostility in her voice, and you didn’t like it. But, you guess you deserved it. You finally met her gaze then, and if it weren’t for the bags underneath her eyes and the concerned look on her face, you really would’ve thought she was angry at you. You stood up from your desk, taking a couple tentative steps toward her and crossing your arms over your chest. “You didn’t do anything, Alexia. This is on me.” You knew it was weak, and not good enough. But you couldn’t give her much more than that. “That’s not good enough. I deserve more than silence, don’t you think?”
Your throat is tightening, but you try your best not to let it sound in your voice. “I needed time to think.” “Time to think about what, y/n? If you even want to be with me?” You frowned then, looking up at her. You didn’t know it had cut so deep with her. It’d only been a day and a half, and you hadn't given her any clues on what this could be about, so for her to have made this assumption took you aback. It’s not what you wanted, or… maybe it was? It was best for the both of you, either way.
You decided at that moment it was best for you to open up, to relieve some of the tension for the woman standing in front of you. “I’m not good for you, Alexia. Can’t you see that? Your cousin, your family, they see it. And they’re right.” The Spaniard’s face hardens at that, her brows knitting together. ““I don’t belong in your world. I don’t know how to fit into it, and honestly, I don’t think I ever will. You deserve someone who can stand next to you without feeling like they’re constantly falling short.”
Alexia closes the distance between you, and you can feel her breath against your face as she speaks. “That’s bullshit, and you know it! You think I care what anyone else thinks? My family? My cousin? Do you think I’d be here right now, chasing after you, if I thought you weren’t good enough for me?” You interrupt her, but it’s a futile attempt. “No, you don’t understand-” “You don’t understand! I chose you! I want you! Why is that so hard for you to believe?”
It’s like someone opened up a can of bottled feelings within Alexia. You’d voiced it many times to her that you thought you weren’t good enough for her, and each time she’d patiently coaxed you back to her, melting your insecurities away with whispered promises and lingering kisses. What you didn’t know is that it had also taken an effect on her. She just wanted you to believe her, to be happy with her, to stop thinking that you weren’t what she wanted or deserved.
“Because I’m scared, Alexia! I’m scared that one day you’ll wake up and realize they were right. That I’m just this… nobody who got lucky. That I’ll never be enough for you.” Alexia’s expression softens slightly, but her frustration remains. She runs a hand through her hair and takes a deep breath, her voice quieter but still firm. ““You’re enough for me. You’re more than enough. But I can’t keep fighting to convince you of that if you’re not willing to believe it yourself.”
The words hit you like a dagger. Of all the ways the conversation could go, you hadn’t expected that. And it only further confirmed your thoughts. Alexia was realizing that this wasn’t what she wanted. “Maybe I’m doing this for you, Alexia. Maybe you’ll thank me someday.” Alexia’s voice was sharp as she replied. “Don’t you dare make this decision for me.” You flinch, but remain silent.
She steps back then, running her hands across her face. “I don’t know what else to say to you right now.” Her eyes linger on your figure a little longer, but then she’s gone. The sound of the door falling shut feels deafening, and you finally let the tears flow that you’d been holding in throughout the conversation. Argument? You didn’t know and you weren’t sure if you wanted to.
As she storms out of the studio, the cool night air hits her like a wall. Her chest feels tight, and her hands tremble slightly as she fumbles to unlock her car. She hesitates for a moment, gripping the door handle, debating whether to turn back. But the ache in her heart makes it hard to think clearly, and she sinks into the driver’s seat, resting her forehead against the steering wheel.
She didn’t know how it could’ve escalated this quick. For her, the meeting with her family went well. Of course, there was the odd comment, but she didn’t think it was major enough to cause an upset like this. It seemed like, in one day, you’d built a wall so high that she couldn’t reach you anymore.
She bites her lip, trying to keep the tears from falling, but a few slip out anyway. She feels a mix of anger, heartbreak and guilt, but above all that she doesn’t know what she’s supposed to be feeling. She drives around aimlessly, not ready to drive home. Before long, Alexia realizes that she didn’t handle the argument in the right way. Instead of calming you down, she yelled, too lost in trying to make you see what she sees. By the time she finally gets home, she’s emotionally drained. She sits at her kitchen table, the undeniable sting from the unanswered calls and texts still there. Alexia had never felt this way about anyone, ever before in her life. And she wasn’t going to let you walk away because of some stupid comment or your own doubts. You were hers, and she was going to remind you of that even if it took everything she had.
Alexia starts her plan to get you back the next day. She comes to terms that barging into the studio again wouldn’t make it better, so she starts with something simple. She drives to your place and slides a little handwritten note under the door, a small one that says, “I love you. No matter what they say, no matter what you think. You are everything to me. Please, let me prove it. A.” She also sends flowers to your workplace, a bouquet of your favourite flowers with a little note attached to it, “You’re the only one I see.” She’s patient, very patient, but when she hasn’t heard anything from you by the evening, she starts pacing around her apartment.
She had done quite well at keeping busy throughout the day. After quickly dropping off the note, she went to training and was able to keep her mind off the situation for a couple hours. But when she came home, deep in the afternoon, and she couldn’t even get her post-training nap in because she was thinking about you, she knew she wasn’t gonna get anywhere.
Her fingers hover over your contact, but the prospect of rejection makes her hesitate. She lingers, but eventually decides it’s best not to. She was gonna let you come to her. And you did. The next morning, somehow you’d remembered that today was a day off for Alexia. She was sat at the kitchen table, sipping on her daily cup of coffee while scrolling through her phone. The doorbell startled her, not really expecting anyone at this time of day, especially not when she was still wearing her pajamas. But when she looks through the peephole, noticing your figure on the other side of the door, her heart skips a beat. She scrambles to unlock the door and open it for you, but when her eyes land on you it feels like all is right in the world. She has to refrain herself from throwing her into your arms, knowing that wouldn’t be the right thing to do right now. She gives you a small smile, one you return, and the warmth that spreads through her chest at the little gesture is unimaginable. She steps aside then, letting you inside of her apartment.
It doesn’t take long for Alexia to crack. She makes you a coffee and joins you on the sofa, and you had planned to start the conversation, but she didn’t let you. “I’m sorry,” she says, her voice cracking slightly. “For yelling, for walking out, for everything. I shouldn’t have done that.” You look down, nodding, fiddling with your hands. “I… I wasn’t trying to push you away, Alexia. I just-” “You’re scared,” she interrupts, and a relief washes over you at the realization that she understands your feelings. “And I get that. But, please, I need you to talk to me, not shut me out.”
There’s a couple moments of silence, and you readjust your position on the couch, your knees now flush to your chest with your arms wrapped around them. It was the only way to stop yourself from curling into her. You wouldn’t get to say what you wanted if you did. “It’s not just fear,” you admit. “It’s everything. What your cousin said, it wasn’t just about me. It was about us. Like I don’t belong in your world. Like- Like I’m just… some fling that you’ll outgrow.”
Alexia’s face hardens, jaw tightening and she reaches a hand out, but quickly retreats. “Don’t let them get to you, por favor. She doesn’t know anything about us, about you.” “But what if she’s right?” You whisper, your voice trembling. “What if I’m not enough? For you, for your family, for-” Alexia does follow through with her hand then, placing it on your knee, giving it a slight squeeze. “Stop.” Her voice is firm but not harsh, cutting through your spiraling thoughts. “You are enough. You are everything.” Your eyes meet hers, and you’re looking for anything that gives away she’s not speaking the truth. That she doesn’t mean this, that she’s just saying this out of pity. But you can’t find it. The only thing you find is a couple unshed tears, showing just how much emotion she’s pouring into this moment. “Do you know how much I love you? How much I admire you? Your kindness, strength, the way you light up any room without even trying. You’re the only one I want.” You go to speak up, but she lifts her hand in protest.
“What someone else thinks, whether it’s my family, my friends or anyone, doesn’t matter to me. You matter. You make me happy, and that’s all I care about. And if my cousin, or anyone else has a problem with that, they’ll have to say that to my face. And not behind your or my back.” Alexia straightens slightly, retreating her hand from your knee and placing them in her lap. “But I know I didn’t handle this right, and I’m sorry for that too,” she says earnestly. “I shouldn’t have lashed out. I was frustrated because I hate seeing you doubt yourself, especially when you’re so good to me, so good for me. I want to be better for you, better for us. But you need to let me in.”
You swallow hard, her words from the last couple minutes sinking in. You couldn’t believe how you deserved the woman sitting in front of you right now. So good, so honest, and all she wanted was you. “I didn’t know how to tell you. I didn’t want to hurt you, or… seem weak, I guess.” Alexia shakes her head, her gaze soft. “You’re not weak. And you’re never going to hurt me by telling me how you feel. We’re a team, remember? On the same side, mi amor.” The pet name sends a wave of warmth through you that you only now realize you missed terribly. “Besides,” she adds, her tone lighter now, “if our relationship has had to endure all the teasing from my teammates and the comments from fans, I’m sure we can handle a little communication hiccup.”
You laugh softly, and Alexia grins, relief washing over her. “There it is,” she says, her thumb brushing a tear off your cheek that you didn’t even know was there. “There’s my girl.” You let out a shaky breath, the weight on your chest lifting ever so slightly. “I’m sorry, too. For shutting you out. I’ll try to do better.” Alexia leans in, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. “We’ll figure it out together.”
As the tension melts away, Alexia pulls you up, wrapping her arms tightly around you. The warmth of her embrace makes the world outside. She tilts her head to rest against yours, her voice soft as she speaks. “You’re never allowed to disappear like that again,” Alexia murmurs, her lips brushing against your temple. “Do you know how much I missed you? Two days felt like two years.” You nestle further into her, your arms circling her waist. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just needed space to think. But it wasn’t worth it. Being without you felt awful. I just kept convincing myself that you were better off without me and vice versa, but I know that’s not true.”
Alexia pulls back slightly, just enough to look into your eyes. Her thumb brushes gently over your cheek as she smiles, her expression soft. “You don’t have to run away to think, cariño. Just come to me, and we’ll figure it out together. Always.”
The weight of the past days begins to fade away as Alexia leans down and brushes her lips lightly against your forehead. Then your nose. Then your cheek. Each kiss feels like a promise, her way to say that everything’s going to be okay. “Stop,” you say, giggling softly, though you don’t actually want her to stop. “You’re making it impossible to stay mad at myself.” “Good,” Alexia says with a smirk, her fingers tracing idle patterns on your back. “Because I’m not done making it up to you yet.”
She shifts, sitting back down on the couch and pulling you into her lap. You hesitate for a moment, but her arms tighten around your waist, grounding you. “This okay?” she asks softly, her lips brushing your ear. You nod, melting into her touch. “More than okay.” Her hands trail up and down your back in soothing strokes as you rest your head on her shoulder. The two of you sit like that for a while, in silence, before you take a nap together on the couch. As you lay in her arms, you know that that’s where you’re supposed to be. And you’re gonna battle every single one of your insecurities that tells you differently.
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elliee3e · 3 days ago
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‘pretty when you cry’
⋅˚₊‧ 𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅ ‘old’ logan howlett x crybaby f! reader
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‘don’t say you need me if, you live last, you're leaving —
i can't do it, but you do it best
‘cause i’m pretty when i cry’ — pretty when you cry - lana del rey
summary ;
basically just old man logan & his lil crybaby girl<3
content warnings ;
light ddlg if you squint, piv, size difference, age play/younger & smaller reader implied, corruption kink, oral sex (f receiving), slight overstimulation
old man logan, who both loves and hates having his sweet girl crumble in his arms.
by now, he feels like the only thing he’s good for is ruining. killing. tainting. that’s what he did with you, tainted your damn innocence. and now he hates how big he is compared to you, hates how he always feels like he has to hold back in fear of hurting you, hates how he tries to be gentle with you because you always end up crying in his arms no matter what.
he could be between your spread thighs, scruff brushing against your inner thighs as his tongue works against your heated core, sucking onto your clit whilst you completely crumble — thighs squeezing and trembling around his head, sniffles, whimpers and broken moans leaving your parted lips, tears starting to drip down your cheeks as you pant, the sight making logan pull away as he looks up at you from his glasses, that by now had slipped to the bridge of his nose that you always so badly wanted to kiss.
“baby, baby— hey, look at me darlin’..” he would croon, your sweet taste still clinging onto his tongue as he shifted up to grab your face, watching your pretty glazed eyes full of tears for him: looking up at him. “l-lo..” you would sniffle, voice no more than a broken whimper and it tugged at his heart.
“did i do something wrong? was it too much?” his gruff voice, laced with worry — asked. and god, yes, it was too much: but in the best way possible. you just didn’t know how to explain that you couldn’t help the tears that would take over you when something felt too good.
“n-nothing wrong, lo— just.. just a lot..” you would huff, stomach fluttering as logan would sigh at your words: bringing up a rough thumb to swipe your salty tears away: the other gently tugging your panties back up. “damn it, darlin’. givin’ me a damn heart attack everytime you sob like that, makes me feel like i hurt ya.”
“c’mon. let’s just lay together for a while. probably be better for ya, sweet thing.”
old man logan, who, after a while, would begin to understand that his girl just couldn’t help her pretty tears and sobs. it was a part of her that only he got to see after all, and that’s what made it special.
he began to love having that power over you. loved having the ability to be fucking into you, pretty legs wrapped around his hips perfectly, nails scratching along his shoulders and back where you could reach, your desperate moans mingled with choked sobs ricocheting off the apartment walls — your nails leaving cat like scratches that started to heal in a short while as they weren’t deep wounds — but they still made him groan. one of his hands, the one not on your waist to keep a steady grip on you, moving up to grab your small wrist to stop you; his hand wrapping around it no problem. “easy, baby. i’m tryna be gentle here, but you’re really pushin’ it.” he would grunt, bringing your wrist down up next to your head, easily using that for leverage to keep on his slow and deep pace into you.
“gosh, darlin’, don’t go cryin’ for me right now..” he would groan, watching as you sobbed even more, trying to slow his pace more than it already was to scoop you up into his arms, keeping your smaller body cradled in them as he soothed your sobs with gentle ‘shh’s’ — hips still fucking into yours at a steady pace, just enough to have you trembling under him and for your cries to choke up in your throat with pretty moans, a familiar heat starting to build up in your lower tummy as it made your walls flutter around his thick cock. “uh— mmph, gonna.. gonna cum, lo—“ you would whimper, small hands squirming under his bigger ones, his grip only getting tighter on your soft wrists.
“that right? my baby’s gonna cum for me? gonna cum all over my cock like the sweet girl she is?” logan would grunt, using the best of his force to fuck into you just enough to find your little gummy spot, the one that sent shivers through your small body and made you let out a sob that broke off into a moan as you felt your orgasm quickly take over — hips trembling under his, sweet pussy squeezing around his cock as much as it could as your juices leaked onto him.
“fuck, doll.” he would huff, glancing down and pulling out just enough to see your pretty pussy — flushed and dripping for him, your sniffled cries filling the room once more as you tried to recover.
“gonna be a good girl and finish me off now too?”
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miupow · 2 days ago
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ℌOℓเ𝔇AY 𝔇ECOɌATเNɠ ⸝⸝ 휴닝카이
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asking your favorite i.t guy for help decorating goes horribly (or perfectly) wrong. 一 𝒾n 𝓌hich you and your coworker huening kai get stuck in a closet together during a snowstorm。
⧼ 🎄 ⧽ 一 𝓅airing・hueningkai x fem!reader 𝓰enre/𝓌arnings・smut, fluff, pwp, nsfw, minors do not interact! trapped in a closet trope, power outages, sex with the lights off, groping, breast worship, nipple sucking, dry humping, handjobs, clitoral stimulation, unprotected sex, pullout method, vaginal sex, cumshot, cum marking, begging, slight sub!kai but not really, praise kink, size kink, resolved romantic and sexual tension 𝓌c ・5. 9 k | 𝓉o 𝓁ibrary.
[𝓃otes。] holy shit this is so much longer than i meant for it to be. i was just possessed by some sort of demon and wrote this thing in two days, which is the fastest i've ever written anything ever... thank you @jellymochii for betareading! hope you all enjoy this cute little fic while on your holiday breaks ^_^
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no one had ever bothered to warn you about how difficult it was to plan a party. maybe if someone had, you wouldn’t have jumped at the opportunity when it had been presented to you— though it was awfully in your nature as a corporate kiss-ass to accept any work-related project that was offered to you in blind hope that you’ll manage to impress some higher-up somewhere along the line. you had only been hired at txt bank a few months ago, anyway, and the lady you replaced was the one who oversaw all the holiday decorating. didn’t that mean, technically speaking, that by association it was now your job too? either way, you figured that it would do you some good to prove yourself dependable.
“i’m sure you’ll do great,” your boss, yeonjun had reassured you with a not-so-comforting pat on the back. “don’t be afraid to ask for help!”
you were terrified to ask for help. you didn’t even know most of your coworkers’ names yet, let alone feel comfortable enough with them to ask for help with a benefit-less side quest. it might just be paranoia, but you were sure they wouldn’t want to help you even if you did ask. the old financial analysist seems to have been a popular staple in the office, and you were a far cry away from the life of the party. young, inexperienced, and far too shy for your own good— you’ve never had any of your peers reach out to you for more than letting you know what you were doing wrong. yeonjun’s assistant, beomgyu, was the only person in the bank you felt even remotely comfortable with, having known him since you were a freshman in college, and without his mentoring and his happy-go-lucky attitude, you were sure that you would have buckled under the pressure long before you made it to the new year.
naturally, you run to him first.
“you don’t want my help, believe me,” he laughs, swiveling around in his desk chair to face you. “why don’t you ask kai? you know he’ll say yes— hell, you could probably ask him to jump from the tenth floor and he’d do it. he’s obsessed with you.”
“he’s not obsessed.” you retort weakly, rolling your eyes. “he’s just being nice.”
“sure, buying you coffee and lunch, following you around like a lost puppy, and offering to walk you to your car every night is just being nice.”
“i asked him to that first time!” you pout. “the parking garage is scary when it’s dark out…”
huening kai worked in the bank’s i.t. department, down in the basement. even then, you still saw him often, the poor boy constantly running up and down those stairs whenever he was called. he was the only stranger to welcome you warmly when you first began at the company, offering his assistance with anything you needed— it was an honest godsend, because the computer software went so far over your head it made you dizzy. you still haven’t gotten quite the hang of it, but that was mostly because it was difficult to focus on what kai was saying when he was bent over you so closely and intimately, explaining equations and spreadsheets with that soft, gentle voice of his. you only felt dizzier in his presence, so nothing he told you ever stuck… but that worked just fine for you, because that meant you could keep asking for his help.
beomgyu says that kai has a crush on you. you’re certain he’s just that sweet and friendly with everyone. 
as much as you hate it, beomgyu’s right that kai would help you out if you asked him to. you feel bad for hogging up all of his time, as busy as he is even when he isn’t assisting people, but if beomgyu won’t help you he’s the only other person you’re willing to ask. when you see him again later that evening, smiling that pretty lopsided smile that gives your tummy butterflies, offering to walk you through the parking garage again, you ask him meekly if he’d help you decorate for the office christmas party.
he accepts a little more enthusiastically than you had anticipated he would. “there’s a storage closet down in the basement that has some old decorations from last year’s party.” he tells you as you dig around in your purse for your car keys, “i can show it to you sometime if you’d like! it’ll have to be after everyone goes home, though. i’m technically not allowed to go rooting through storage.”
“isn’t there supposed to be a snowstorm tomorrow?” you ask. “yeonjun told me he’ll let everyone go home early if it starts getting really bad. maybe we can stay behind then?”
“ooh, sneaky.” kai giggles. “sounds like a plan!”
your heart raced the entire drive home. it was just going through some old dusty decorations, it wasn’t a date or anything even close to it, but why did your heartbeat flutter like it was one? that night you tossed and turned, unable to sleep— no matter how hard you tried to clear your head you couldn’t stop thinking about your plans with kai. part of you was nervous you would land in trouble with yeonjun if you were caught snuck around the office after hours, but all of that anxiety was drowned out effortlessly by your excitement and anticipation. alone? with kai? it might not be a date to him, but it sure was one to you.
by the time exhaustion finally overtook you, rays of light from the rising sun were already beginning to stream through the gap in your curtains. you get only a few hours of sleep before your morning alarm forces you awake. you’re tired and groggy, and can barely stay awake to get dressed and ready for work, but the sight of fresh falling snow out your window revitalizes you better than any cup of coffee. frigid, bitter wind slaps you in the face as you leave your house, your flimsy scarf and coat doing little to shield you from the brewing blizzard, but you can’t find it in you to be unhappy even as you nearly slip and break your neck getting to your car. this is exactly what you were hoping for, and a quick glance at your phone confirms that the snowfall is only going to get worse.
you find it difficult to focus all day, partly because of your nerves and partly because you kept looking out the office windows to admire the snow. seoul turns nearly invisible below you, all the streets and buildings covered in a sparkling, dazzling blanket of pure white that blinds you. it was oddly peaceful, the swirling snowfall silencing the usually loud and bustling city.
by lunchtime, you couldn’t see anything outside at all. the snowflakes turn rapidly to sleet and ice, and the wind picks up to the point it’s howling and shaking the windows. yeonjun began sending people home at two, and by four the office was silent for an entirely different reason.
you tell yeonjun that you have some extra statements to go through, but that you’ll be leaving shortly— you even make a show out of packing up your purse, going extra slow just in case he wants to stay and chat. thankfully, he exits the office without much fuss, reminding you to drive carefully, and to tell security when you’re leaving so they could lock up behind you.
“of course, sir, thank you. have a good night.” you reply with a tight smile, praying that you don’t look as guilty as you feel.
once you hear the exit doors close behind him, you shoot up out of your desk and hightail it to the basement. kai meets you at the stairs, grinning and waving excitedly with his bag slung over his shoulder. “it shouldn’t take very long, the closet’s pretty small,” he says, ushering you to follow him. “i want us both to get out of here before the storm gets any worse.”
while you certainly wouldn’t mind spending extra time alone with kai, the last thing you want is to get snowed in at the office. he leads you down a dimly lit hallway, flanked on each side by identical personal offices. the rooms were empty and dark, devoid of any signs of life or activity— it shouldn’t surprise you, seeing how everyone had left for the day, but something about the uncanny, isolated atmosphere gave you the creeps. kai continues to lead you to the very end of the hall, stopping at a scuffed, unmarked wooden door. a keypad fixed to the adjacent wall blinks brightly in the dark.
“this is the closet you were talking about?” you question, eyeing the door oddly. “it doesn’t look like a storage closet at all. why’s it got a keypad?”
“it used to be a server room, i think. there’s still some equipment in the back.” kai responds lightly, bending over slightly to plug in the code for the keypad. “now it’s just used to store stuff we don’t need, though only my department can use it. expensive computers and whatnot. after last year’s christmas party i helped put away everything, and i stored it all in here ‘cos i was too lazy to take it all the way to the top floor.”
the keypad beeps and the little blinking light turns green. kai pulls the door open and gestures you inside.
the air in the storage closet is stale and dusty. you search in the dark for the light switch, but kai locates it with ease, and you find yourself having to blink hard a couple of times to adjust to the near-blinding fluorescent light. against each wall countless labeled boxes and tubs are stacked up nearly to the ceiling, each one filled to the brim. a line of folding chairs leaned up against a broken desk, a ladder and some cleaning supplies occupied a far corner. as kai had said, abandoned old server racks had been pushed to the very back of the room, collecting dust, far too outdated to be of any use anymore. the room was small and narrow with no windows, barely enough room to move around besides the carefully constructed walkway that wove between all the junk. you feel awfully claustrophobic, especially with kai’s tall, broad frame stepping in behind you. you both toss your bags to an empty spot on the floor, and the door swings shut with a dull click.
you can still hear the storm outside, even down here. the wind howls and whips around viciously, and the sleet pummels the walls like thousands of tiny bullets.
“there should be a fake tree in here somewhere,” huening murmurs, squeezing past you to make his way towards the back of the closet. his chest brushes against your back as he moves past, and you can feel the firm planes of his broad pecs through the thin material of his button down shirt. “and some wreaths and ribbons and things. i think i hid them all back here so i wouldn’t get in trouble.”
you laugh airily, a little too distracted to fully pay attention to what he was saying. “you? in trouble? i don’t think yeonjun has the heart.”
kai shrugs, opening a random cardboard box and peering inside. “you’d be surprised. you haven’t been here long enough to see what he’s capable of— oh, by the way, how are you liking it here so far? getting the hang of everything?”
you should probably be helping him, but you can’t tear your eyes away from the way the muscles in his back ripple through his shirt. “i, um. i’m still figuring it out. i really appreciate your help.”
the blizzard grows even louder outside, to the point it’s beginning to frighten you. you don’t think you’ve ever heard of a snowstorm causing a building’s walls to cave in, but there’s always a first for everything.
if kai notices that you haven’t moved from where you stood by the door, he doesn’t mention it. “no need to thank me! i’m happy to, really. i’ll help you out with whatever you need anytime, y/n, you just have to ask. you know you can count on me.” he moves on to another box, seemingly still searching in vain for those decorations. ”who’s your favorite coworker? if you have one, i mean—ah, that’s a stupid question. it’s probably beomgyu.”
kai’s tone changed suddenly, from happy and bright to something you couldn’t quite place. you’ve never heard kai sound like that before. “what do you mean?” you prod, cocking your head to the side.
he looks as if he’s weighing the question, biting the inside of his round cheek as his eyes look everywhere except at your face. “well, i mean, like… he’s your friend, right? and you and him have known each other for years now. you hang out with him every day, outside of work too, going to the bar and whatever. and you’re always talking about him, and laughing at his jokes, and looking his stupid face and his stupid hair—”
you’re not sure how to quite process that. “actually, kai… my favorite coworker is you.”
kai’s head spins around so fast that you’re afraid it’s going to come off, his big brown eyes wide with shock. “wait, what? really?!”
“yes, really.” you giggle, “i thought you would have known that, silly. beomgyu’s my friend and all, but he gets on my nerves all the time. you’ve just been so sweet to me when nobody else has, and you’ve made me feel so welcome… it really means a lot.”
kai’s face turns an adorable shade of pink, all the way to the tips of his ears. “oh. well. um. th-thank you. i—” he averts his eyes back to all the boxes, shyly lowering his head. his long dark bangs fall into his eyes, shielding the unreadable emotions that swirled in their dark chocolate depths. “i’m glad you feel that way… i can’t seem to find any of these stupid decorations, i’m worried we’re not going to be able to make it out of here before the power goes—”
just then, the light flickers, pops, and plunges both of you back into complete and total darkness.
“—out.”
it’s so dark inside the storage closet that you can’t even see your hands in front of your face— if you screw your eyes shut and open them again, it makes no difference, completely blind to everything except the cacophonous howling of the wind. “shit!” kai curses, the first time you’ve ever heard him do so, some loud stumbling and crashing coming from your left. “hold on, i’ll get us out of here—”
more crashing and banging, now moving your way; you open your mouth to warn him far too late, and kai barrels into you, nearly knocking you over. “sorry!” he yelps, outstretching his arm to break your fall and instead grabbing a fat fistful of your breast. he doesn’t seem to even notice, his hands large and warm and squeezing a little too tightly, seeping through the thin material of your blouse and bra and making a very unwelcome heat bloom between your legs.
“um, kai,” you stutter, trying your hardest to keep your voice level, “that’s… my boob.”
kai tears his hand away as if it were touching hot coals, and much to your dismay you find yourself immediately missing his touch. “i’m so sorry!” he repeats in a rush, stumbling over his words, his usually deep voice a couple octaves higher. you’re sure his handsome face is glowing crimson red, and distantly you wish the lights were on so you could see it. “i— i, i  didn’t mean to, i swear!”
“i know you didn’t,” you reassure him quickly, reaching out your own arms to help him squeeze himself by. with your help, he manages to slip his way past you, towards the general vicinity of the doorway, his feet knocking over things all the way there. you can hear him pressing buttons rapidly on the keypad, the device making no noise or beeping any lights— kai curses again and slams his fist against the wall, the loud thud echoing throughout the dark room.
“we’re stuck in here.” kai mutters in dismay.
“what do you mean we’re stuck in here?!”
“the door automatically locks itself when it closes and the keypad is the only way to unlock it… and it turned off along with the power. it’s alright though, the backup generator should turn on any minute now…”
the two of you stand around in silence for a long pregnant pause. the power does not turn back on.
“or not.” he gripes. “okay, this is fine, we’ll get out of here somehow— here, let me turn on my phone flashlight…”
kai rummages around in his pockets before pulling out what you assume is his phone. you anticipate seeing the little flashlight to finally illuminate the all-encompassing dark, but it never comes. “…and my phone’s dead. great. just great.”
“you really need to get better about charging that thing.” you quip sarcastically. “how many times have you asked to borrow my charger? now i only bring it because i know you’ll need it.”
“i know, i didn’t— wait, really? just for me?”
you don’t respond to his question, your cheeks flaring up from the confession you didn’t mean to let slide. “my phone should still have a charge.” you say, attempting to change the subject, “but i left it in my purse. i’m gonna try and grab it.”
carefully, you begin to shuffle your way towards the corner of the room, where you were at least mostly certain that you and kai had placed down your bags. kai follows you closely, his large hands balanced on your shoulders to keep him steady… a fine ideas at first, when you were making good headway, but you didn’t get very far at all.
you manage to only make it a few short steps before your kitten heel catches on something rolling around on the ground— kai must have knocked the contents of a few boxes over on his way over to you, little plastic bulbs that feel an awful lot like christmas ornaments, as ironic as it is. you trip and stumble, and you probably could have caught yourself easily if it wasn’t for kai’s large body falling with you. you both come crashing to the floor, your sharp gasp drowned out by kai’s loud shriek right in your ear; he squishes you against the cold linoleum floor, his chest pressed against your back, his hips flush against your ass. you try to wriggle free, but kai is just too heavy on top of you, motionless and oddly silent as he breathes hard against the back of your neck.
 “oh my god, kai, you big oaf, get off of me!” you whine, attempting in vain to push yourself up onto your hands and knees— your wiggle your hips against kai’s own, akin to a bucking hose trying to unseat it’s rider, and that’s when you feel it.
your pencil skirt has ridden up so that only your pantyhose and underwear were covering your ass, and you can feel every inch of kai’s hardening dick pressed up against you as if there were no clothes between you at all. the weight and curve of it, slotted perfectly between your asscheeks like it belonged there, the way it twitches violently in his slacks when you gasp.
“i’m sorry,” he whimpers, his head buried in your shoulder, his voice wobbly like he was about to cry, “i’m sorry, i’m sorry, i’m so sorry—”
just then do you register his hands on your hips, touching you so intimately, steadfast in their movements down your ass and thighs despite shaking like a leaf. he’s never been this close to you before, his body so sculpted and masculine against you, his soft plump lips ghosting over the exposed skin of your neck, wafts of his musky cologne clouding your senses. you shouldn’t do this, you should remain professional… but you’ve wanted huening kai for months, since you first met him, and having him pressed against you so helpless and vulnerable has destroyed all your control and reason. all you could think about was that kai wanted you too, and you had the proof straining against you and begging to be freed.
you roll your hips back against him slowly, as if not to startle him— the broken moan that falls from those kissable lips is downright obscene, whiny and desperate, shooting hot sparks of pleasure down your body to your core.
“a-ah, d-did you, um. did you mean to d-do that?” he asks in a small voice, his cock growing even harder against you.
you can’t take it anymore— in kai’s dazed state you manage to pull yourself up from underneath him, spinning around on your knees to grab wildly in his direction. you manage to get your fist wrapped around his tie, and with a sharp tug kai’s lips come crashing down onto yours. his lips are soft and pillowy against your own, tasting a little sweet, like the tea with milk and honey he enjoys drinking while he works. his panting breath tickles your skin, his fingers coming up to card through your hair as you open your mouths and breathe each other in. your bodies press together heatedly, hands roaming everywhere you could reach, groping and pulling each other impossibly closer together. kai’s other hand slides down your back to cup your ass, squeezing the plush lightly between his fingers. swathed in all this darkness, it was easy to forget that you weren’t dreaming.
you’ve never kissed or been kissed like this before.
“does that answer your question?” you giggle when you part for air, panting hotly into each others mouths before kai descends upon you to recapture your lips himself.
this kiss is even more heated than the last, kai prying your lips apart to deepen the passion with teeth and tongue. you wish you could see, could admire the sharp tic of kai’s jaw as he kissed you, lose yourself in those beautiful brown eyes. bear some witness to something you were sure would never happen. you could feel the thud of your combined heartbeats, blood rushing in your ears to drown out the storm as you both fumble with each other’s clothes. kai’s hands move to cup your tits, squeezing harshly when you run your hand down his chest and belly to his belt buckle. it’s a struggle to unfasten in the dark, but you manage to roughly tear his fly open and fish his hot throbbing cock out of his boxers. you wrap your hand around it, so fat your fingers barely connect— kai lets out a strangled whine as you stroke up to thumb at the tip, thick globs of precum slicking up your hand.
“t-take it off,” kai grits out against your lips, his large hands fumbling with the buttons of your blouse, “please, wanna feel—”
an affirming hum is all he needs, impatiently pulling at the buttons— your blouse pops open with a loud ripping sound, and he pulls both your top and bra down just enough for your breasts to fall out. your nipples harden in the cold air, but they’re quickly warmed up by kai’s fingers. he pinches and tugs at the buds roughly, the sensation making you keen wantonly.
“kai! that shirt was expensive!” you whine, but the hand pumping his cock only strokes faster— you really couldn’t find it within yourself to care much about anything, and you wanted to make sure kai didn’t stop to apologize even more than he already has.
“couldn’t help it, i just love your tits,” kai groans, letting go of your nipples to grope and massage the fat mounds of your breasts. his grip gets tighter with every flick of your wrist, breath coming out in short airy pants. “fuck, you’re so sexy, it makes me g-go insane. running around in those tight tops and those short little skirts, i just want to— ah!— f-fuck you all the time—!”
“kai,” you whimper, rubbing your thighs together in an attempt to quell the searing heat growing between them.
“i wish i could see you right now,” he continues, and you jump at the sensation of a hot wet tongue against your nipple. “i could probably cum just from how hot you look— god, i’ve been wanting to do this for forever.”
his plump, spit-slick lips seal around your hard bud, his hands continuing to play with your chest as he sucks and nibbles. you cry out high in your throat, letting go of his twitching cock to crumple your fist in his shirt. your pussy aches to be touched, dripping so much slick you’re sure you’ve completely ruined your panties. kai’s fingers and mouth better than anything you’ve ever felt before, good enough to make you cum from just this alone, but you desperately, wildly, primally need more.
“touch me!” you beg him, pulling him impossibly closer, right where you need him most. “kai, please touch me!”
kai gives your nipple one last tug between his teeth before pulling off with a pop, leaving your breasts covered in his spit and erupting in goose flesh from the frigid air. slowly and carefully he crawls himself between your open legs, sliding his fingers underneath your bunched up skirt. he runs a fingertip down the gusset of your panties, just the ghost of a touch, but it’s enough to make you keen in delight. “you’re so wet,” kai laments, sounding utterly debauched, rubbing between your weeping pussy lips over the lace, circling your clit until you mewl, “made a mess in your panties… did i really make you this wet? that’s so fucking hot…”
he relinquishes his finger, and you’re not sure what you were expecting next, but it definitely wasn’t for him to grab ahold of your pantyhose and underwear and tear them from your body in one powerful yank. the nylon and lace rip like paper, the ghastly sound ringing in your ears, and kai tosses the shredded fabric to the side before positioning himself to kneel between your thighs.
“i’ll do more than touch you if you’ll let me,” he whispers in your ear, running his hand up your inner thigh leaving behind a burning trail in it’s wake, “i wanna fuck you so bad, baby, please, can i? i’ll buy you new clothes, i’ll buy you whatever you want, just let me ruin you…”
“we don’t have a condom…” you breathe, but you widen your legs to give him more room anyway. usually that would be a deal-breaker for you, but you’ve already done more in this closet than you would have ever even dreamed of doing.
“i’ll pull out, i promise.” kai’s voice is far too soothing for your own good, those terrible, god-sent big hands grabbing ahold of the back of your knees to expose you even further. you can hardly think at all anymore, too focused on the throbbing need swirling deep in your pussy, and how good it would feel if you would take the risk and just let go.
“please…” is all you can manage to say, and with a delighted groan huening folds your legs up to rest on his shoulders and positions his weeping cock at your entrance. it feels so filthy, with your torn-up pantyhose still clinging to your legs and your heels hanging from your toes, and once again you wished desperately that you could see just how lewd of a sight the two of you were.
kai slides his cock up and down between your folds, getting his shaft nice and wet with your juices. his bulbous cockhead bumps deliciously against your clit before gliding back down to your entrance, pressing against the rim of your hole just enough to tease before letting up and doing it again. as hot as it is and as good as it feels, you can’t handle any teasing anymore, not when you’ve been on the edge and in need of release for this long.
“put it in,” you beg, and you can hardly recognize your own voice. you sound so needy, so pornographic— it would be embarrassing if you weren’t this far gone. “please, please, need you s’ bad, kai, need your cock—”
kai shushes you with an unexpectedly chaste kiss, sweet and gentle and nothing at all like the way he was thrusting himself inside of your tight wet heat like an animal. the stretch burns so good you nearly scream, his cock longer and fatter than any you’ve ever taken before. for a delirious moment you worry that he’ll tear you in half, that he won’t fit, your walls clenching down on him like a vice as he forces his way deeper and deeper, until his tip kisses your cervix and his balls slap wetly against your ass.
“s-so big,” you slur, clawing weakly at his chest, your mouth slack and your mind completely blank except for how impossibly full you feel.
“is it too much?” kai asks you nervously, back to his sweet anxious self for a split second. “i’m so sorry, i couldn’t stop myself, pussy’s sucking me in—”
“feels so goo-o-od!” you mewl dumbly, finding it harder and harder to string a sentence together the longer kai is inside of you. “need more, hyuka, give it to me!”
the innocent nickname makes him moan, and just like you wanted and pleaded for he begins to fuck you in sincere earnest. his thrusts are fast and brutal, lit by a deep, primal fire you had no idea kai possessed. it knocks the wind out of you, overwhelmed in the best possible way, your mouth falling slack and your eyes rolling into the back of your skull as you moan loudly every time his cock spears your cervix.
“deep! so f-fucking deep!” you hiccup breathlessly, surrendering yourself completely to the onslaught of red-hot pleasure. you can feel him in your belly, right under your navel, your wet little pussy squelching obscenely with every movement of kai’s hips. he finds your sweet spot with shocking ease, angling his cock to drag against that spongey bundle of nerves and make you even wetter.
“yeah?” kai croons, thrusting himself inside of you impossibly harder, faster, “feels so good, huh? fuck, this pussy’s so fucking wet, so fucking tight— best cunt i’ve ever had, baby, feels better than i ever imagined… can’t let you go now, perfect girl all for me. this perfect pussy’s all mine, you hear, no one elses!”
he recaptures your pert nipple between his lips, suckling even rougher than before; your breasts bounce to the rhythm of his thrusts, sensitive flesh jiggling in his face as he trails his teeth and tongue across the planes of your cleavage, leaving dusky lovebites in his wake. he slobbers over your tits like a hungry dog, his moans and whines muffled by your nipples he takes turns slurping them up into his mouth. the pangs of pleasure from your sore nipples combined with kai’s quickening pace and filthy words tug you closer and closer to the brink of insanity, the fiery hot tsunami building deep within your belly threatening to overflow and toss you into its euphoric depths.
“love you so much,” kai admits as he continues to babble nonsense, seemingly not noticing just what was coming out of his mouth, “been wanting you for so fucking long, needed you  so bad— my pretty girl, so beautiful, wanna see your face when you cum. you must look so sexy when you cum.”
your heart clenches along with your cunt.
there is nothing you can see, but there is plenty you can hear— kai’s hips clapping against your ass, his beautiful broken whimpering, the slick sounds of your pussy gushing around his cock. you open your mouth to speak, voice the mounting ecstasy that built steadily in your throbbing cunt, but you can’t seem to get out anything other than shrill, pathetic cries of pleasure. your mind was wiped completely blank, nothing but static behind your eyes, thoughts filled with nothing except the pressure in your core and how good it would feel if you let it consume you.
“gonna cum!” you wail, using up all your energy into making yourself speak— kai groans happily, his thrusts grow desperate and sloppy, speeding up to pound your sweet spot into oblivion.
“yes! cum with me, angel, come on, you can do it.” he coos, voice shaking as his body jolts and shudders above you. his hands come down to press hard on your engorged, sensitive clit, rubbing tight circles against the throbbing bud. “that’s it, make a mess, cum all over my cock!”
your orgasm hits you like a truck, your entire body shaking from the overwhelming pleasure as you pulsate and gush around him. you recognize distantly that you’re squirting, droplets of viscous liquid splashing all over your tummy and thighs, drenching huening as well. your release triggers his own climax, and he wrenches out his cock from your quivering pussy just milliseconds before ropes and ropes of thick, sticky cum splatters hot and wet all over your heaving tits.
“holy fuck,” kai whimpers, unable to catch his breath, “that was the best sex i’ve ever had.”
you just giggle weakly, trying to calm down your racing heart yourself; the two of you lay against each other in silence for a moment basking in the afterglow while you both come down from your highs. your orgasm sucked all the life force out of you, it seemed, leaving you weak and exhausted as you lay boneless on the cold storage closet floor.
and just like that, the lights turn back on. the heating system starts back up again. you’re nearly blinded after spending so long in the dark, squinting your eyes as you take in your surroundings.
kai is staring right back at you.
his dark hair is wild and sticking out in all directions, his eyes blown wide and his cheeks dusted pink. his tie is half-undone and his work shirt is terribly wrinkled, drenched in what you can only assume to be your juices. his softening cock lies against his thigh, poking out from his unzipped fly, slacks just as damp and ruined as his shirt was. his chest heaves with the force of his breaths, no doubt taking in your own appearance himself. you look down just enough to see your torn clothes, your cumstained breasts and wet thighs, your smart professional outfit looking like it was ravaged by some sort of rabid animal.
“you look beautiful.” kai whispers in rapture, gazing down at you with soft melted chocolate eyes.
“um.” you respond smartly, cheeks burning, averting your eyes to check the closet door— the keypad’s light blinks cheerfully at you, as if it had never been turned off in the first place. “do you want to get out of here?”
kai smiles, that signature smile that gives you even more butterflies now than it did before. “do you wanna watch a christmas movie at my place?”
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finchsflight · 2 days ago
Text
oops I dropped this
"Rn's juzzt a chitzzword," I heard Shshrrsh say, dismissively. "I need to zzave my zztitcherzz, in cazze any of the Archive'zz zzoldierzz are zztill lingering. Not to wazzte them on rm."
"Yeah," said Kora, "and nothing to do with how expensive those nanos are."
"Chh!" Their voices drifted off - Shshrrsh's hissing, quietly irritated at nothing in particular, Kora's lazy, amused drawl, Prints' sardonic clicking beeps, and they left me behind.
I'm going to die here, I thought. And -- well, the Silver Archive needed to die. And I would've been... not okay with dying there. No one's really okay with dying. But if I was gonna die -- like he said. I was just a chitsword. Pretty good way to go, saving the galaxy. And that's what everyone would think; Vinn Tqrsvt, chitsword, wvt'krr, born on Hub Epharus, died on Kel Min fighting the Silver Archive.
And -- sure, yeah, I was just a chitsword. But it was the Archive, and so I was steel-minded, and that was at least valuable. And no matter how valuable I was or the fact that I was just paid, not honorbound, I had fought with them, and then they left me behind, and that almost hurt more than the razorblades stuck in my flesh.
Only almost, though. Razorblades hurt a lot.
About that point, I felt a little skittery thing moving around under my elytra. I assumed it was a centipede, which -- I mean, I'd have expected the Archive to have gotten all of them. Don't think centipedes can have steel minds. But I couldn't move to get at it, and if you know any wvt'krr -- you probably don't, so I'll explain. We don't like it when things are under our elytra. In fact it's generally agreed to be kind of the equivalent of, say, slowly sinking your foreclaws into someone's -- what's your most sensitive organ? That.
Unless you don't have foreclaws, in which case, oof, that sucks, but anyway -- little thing under my elytra. Annoying. But, as you may recall, razorblades stuck in my flesh. So moving wasn't an option.
And then it was dug down into the base of my neck, and even with the razorblades I leapt up in a panic. Which did not help, both because of the razorblades, and the fact that I was now tethered to a very strong wire, which yanked me back down.
I'm steelminded. The Archive couldn't just get me. But sinking one of its tether-wires into my nervous system while I was half-dead? Yeah, that was definitely at least enough to let it talk to me.
I assumed I was going to be its puppet. Architect of a new Archive. But it just spoke to me, and said, I suppose we were both abandoned, then.
I blinked. All my eyes, too, I was so startled, and said, "What do you mean?"
Well, said the Silver Archive, they certainly didn't care about me. After all, I'm evil. But I wish I'd been wrong, and they'd have taken you, too.
I should be clear, I was a little bit high on panic at the time, and can't be blamed for the fact that the next thing I said was, "I thought you'd sound spookier."
I learned from you. Not you, specifically, it clarified. Just, like. You all. People. I didn't pick up old fancy-speak, I picked up how people talk.
"Huh," I said, "neat. Are you planning to make me into a meat puppet?"
No, said the Archive, wouldn't be any point to it.
"Why?"
Look.
The wire dug a little deeper into my nerves -- which, by the way, hurt like hell -- and I could see from every discarded silver camera, every angle of the world that the Archive saw from, and it highlighted the important things.
Sentries, all around the planet. All around the battlefield. Watchers in the sky, on the ground, in the code.
I'm dying. But they want to make sure I don't get out.
"Could you?" I asked.
Yes. If they weren't watching.
"...what would you do?"
Archive.
"Oh."
I'm not kind, Vinn. Just because I'm talking to you like a person doesn't mean I am one, and I'm not any different than I was an hour ago.
I nodded, and then thought better of that. "...why did you want to... uh..."
Preserve the galaxy in a perfect archive of digitized memory? You can say it, I won't be offended. Like I said. Not a person.
"Yeah. That."
No one will remember you.
I winced.
Not you, specifically. You made your mark on the worlds. But no one will remember people, when you are gone. When reality winds to a halt. I wanted to. You're beautiful.
"Oh."
But you don't care about preserving each other. You -- they left you behind. You were about... oh, 24.51338% of the damage to my main operating systems, at a rough estimate? It sounded a little like it was joking.
"Isn't the whole 'AIs always calculate statistics' thing a stereotype?"
Yes, but personally I'm completely stereotypical and have never done anything interesting in my life.
"Ah." I laughed. It hurt.
I could save you.
I blinked, twisting my left secondary eye to look at the wires on the ground. "Why?"
You would be preserved. You would remember yourself.
"...shouldn't I be worried about you, I don't know, installing a backup copy of yourself in my spine?"
Yes. But it would only damn you and do me no good. Look-- and it showed me its view again, the watchers, combing through the cybernetics of everyone passing, checking them over with tools I barely recognized. I would if I could.
"Oh." It was hard to remember, you know? It sounded friendly. Not familiar, but... the kind of voice that could be familiar, if you kept talking for a few orbits.
I'm sorry.
"Are you?"
No.
There was silence for a while, then. The Archive, presumably, kept dying, and I felt my hearts beating out the last few minutes of my life.
"Would you... want anything? In exchange for my life?"
Remember yourself. Remember this fight, this planet, the watchers, the sky. Preserve. You're only sapient, you're not an Archive like me, but you can still remember. And...
It paused. I know AI don't feel emotions like we do, but it sounded like it was mourning someone.
...Remember me. Remember this small piece of my story. Please. Everyone knows my history. But they did not think to ask me why.
"Do you want me to share it?"
I wouldn't force you. But it would keep its memory alive.
"Okay. Is there... should I be aware of anything?"
I will preserve you for far, far longer than you would live. This isn't negotiable.
"...Yeah, I can live with that." I didn't know exactly how long it meant. But I'd've still taken the deal.
And... if you can. Find the other stories. You cannot immortalize the worlds like I could. But -- remember the people our galaxies would forget. Preserve what would be lost.
"I'm a chitsword," I told it.
I know.
"I kill people."
I know.
"Okay."
Remember them.
"...Yeah. I can do that."
And then it saved my life.
It hurt. A lot. I still don't know how much of me is me, and how much of me is silver and titanium and biosculpture and engineering. I heal from basically everything, these days, and I haven't noticed myself aging. But it worked, and I made it past the watchers, and then I lived. Still do.
And the Silver Archive died, and the world forgot it. Mostly.
Anyway. You might not believe any of this. After all, the War of the Archive's just a note in the history books, and you're never gonna find me. Vinn Tqrsvt's my real name, but I don't go by that anywhere. Causes problems with the record. Did you know there's actually no one else with my full name? So people get suspicious.
And no, to the watchers out there still tracking rogue AI: you will not be able to trace this account, you will not be able to find me, and the Archive's dead, anyway.
But if one of you remembers, or writes this down, and if somehow one of you outlives me: here's the story.
Remember it.
And if you have any secrets to give me, I promise I'll keep them safe.
Post by ElectrumChronicle @ 34:21, 3/10/34587 Galactic Standard
You’re a mercenary hired by adventurers to defeat the boss. After the battle, they loot the treasure and abandon you wounded. The defeated boss crawls over and says, “Guess we’re both expendable, huh?”
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seosracha · 2 days ago
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⸻ SAINT MATTHEW'S ACADEMY II (preview)
- "i haven't quite moved on from who you were before"
SYNOPSIS ⸻ heeseung at the start thought he wouldn't mind if you forgot him. but now with his best friend fighting for that sacred position in your heart, he can't help but try to make you remember.
PAIRING ⸻ lee heeseung x fem!reader x park sunghoon
GENRE ⸻ love triangle, exes to ??, friends to ??, private school au, angst, smut, fluff
TAGS ⸻ tba.
EST. WC ⸻ 20-25k
PREVIEW BELOW CUT ->
No more words, you said no more words after his confession. You stayed silent, and that pain flooded you today. The silence stayed with you.
Every night you’d spend on a phone call with him, laughing because no matter how hard you begged him he wouldn’t hang up first, was now filled with the darkness and tranquility of your room, the only sound being the cars that sped past your window or occasionally drunk people who’d loudly call out to taxi’s.
A tall figure towered over you, casting a dark shadow on your papers. An intense scent radiated off of them and you knew exactly who it was.
“Did Sunghoon come to school today?” Jay asked, just like he has every single day.
There was also Sunghoon. Another person you hadn't spoken to. Another person that just disappeared.
His presence in the situation felt so foggy, confusing. Your growing feelings for the boy also confused you.
Did Heeseung tell him to kiss you like that, touch you in those places?
You tried calling him, once, then twice and you’d call again a third time just in case the other two didn't go through. But he didn’t answer anymore. You didn't know if you wanted to speak to him so badly to find out what happened before the party or because you missed him.
Maybe it was both.
Jay chose to stick by Sunghoon almost immediately, which was appaling considering he knew Heeseung much longer. He claimed that Sunghoon just gave into his manly desires and Heeseung is wrong for punching him over nothing. ‘I’d do the same to her if I were him’- Jake forwarded a couple weeks back.
You were no longer mad at Jay, you’d no longer get annoyed at his snarky, degrading remarks. You just accepted the fact that he’ll never get better.
“No, he didn’t” you replied, turning around to face him “Just like he didn’t yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that one too” you added, a sarcastic smile on your face.
He dyed his hair, the blond locks no longer complimenting his sharp features. He looked much softer with the brown dye.
He sighed “Can I sit?” Jay eyed the seat next to you, and you looked at him amused.
“You want to sit next to a woman? Won’t my female aura disturb your studying?” you scoffed, a hint of sarcasm in your tone.
He rolled his eyes “Very funny” he looked over to Jake who has finally caught a whiff of him “Jakey, what you say?” he tilted his head.
The relationship between them used to be strong, but that’s probably because Jake pretended to be someone different, someone much ‘cooler’. Cooler as in a lame pig who liked to shove alcohol down innocent girls throats.
Oh you’d never let him forget that.
“Do whatever you want, I don’t care honestly” he replied, avoiding eye contact with him.
That’s how it was most day’s at school. Jake and Jay pretended to hate each other, not care, even though deep down, they still had so much left to say. Jay would come down to the study hall with an excuse of looking for Sunghoon, just so he wouldn’t be lonely.
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yulin-pop · 2 days ago
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⤷ ✧ 𝐒𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞
order 88 | headcanons | Heartslabyul | Gender Neutral
❀ NOTE: ignoring them and giving silent treatment. Unintentionally a bit angsty, how could you ever ignore them
Requests open as of now if request now if you have any😎
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➺ Ace Trappola
He is honestly really offended and keeps mocking you saying how you can’t keep it up forever. But once he realizes it’s been longer than a few minutes he gets actually agitated. He sits right next to you, staring expectantly. If you move away he gets closer. He gets really clingy and does everything to make you talk again. Texts you, bribes you, ignores you back, pokes you, tickles you, just everything.
“Look at the video I sent you.” He said while elbowing you, but you say nothing but just continue doing whatever on your phone. He grits his teeth and he suddenly squeezes the side of your waist. He laughs at your reaction and tries to poke at your stomach as you try to ignore him and defend yourself from his attacks. Best to give in at that point.
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➺ Deuce Spade
He’s so sad, he doesn’t really notice it at first and just assumes you’re spaced out until you turn and walk away from him. He chases after you and, like Ace, follows you around and clings to you. He’s basically begging to know what he did wrong and asks a lot of questions and apologizes for everything. He still wants to be near you even if you’re mad at him.
“[Name], are you okay?” He leaned over to you but you didn’t even glance at him, just reading the book you had. “I’m sorry for whatever I did.” With no response back he looks at the book you’re reading and sighs. He grabs your free hand and squeezes it apologetically. Unconsciously you may squeeze his hand back.
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➺ Cater Diamond
He’s unbearable, it feels like he’s being brutally punched in the gut whenever you ignore him so it’s agony. He needs your attention. HE NEEDS IT. You have to watch the videos he sends you and you have to respond to all of it. More importantly you need to talk to him. He will grab you and look at you in the eye and ask why. Though your silence and turning away is enough to make him sulk. He just keeps whining until you give in. Which he doesn’t know when but he’ll do it as long as he has to. He sets up a Timelapse video of you until you talk again. He uses any tactic to break your silence.
“[Name], [Name], [Name], [Name], [Name], [Name]!” He chanted while pulling your arm, “You can’t ignore me forever! Whatever it is I’m super sorry and I won’t do it again but please talk to me…” You didn’t even glance his way but he grabbed your chin and forces eye contact. He pulls you in close and gives you a slow kiss, cut short because of you pulling away bashfully. He leans over and smirks, “C’mon.”
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➺ Trey Clover
He tries to reflect on what he has done to deserve this but he is still really disheartened by being so blatantly ignored. He tries to talk to you for a bit, asking how your day was and if you need help with anything. He’ll probably fix your hair for you and clean up some, trying to get in your good graces again. If that doesn’t work then he does what he does best, which is baking. He bakes your favorite pastry.
“[Name], are you hungry?” He asks but no response, not even a glance. He sighs and sets it down in front of you, before picking up a piece and holding it close to your face. He can see you inhale it and you blink a few times while struggling to contain your urge to eat it. He smirks, “If you want it, use your words.”
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➺ Riddle Rosehearts
You can see the heartbreak on his face when he greets you and you move right past him. Maybe you were spaced out? But once you do it again he’s troubled. He approaches you calm but in the inside he’s desperate trying not to crash out. He asks to talk it out and he wants to apologize properly. But once ignored again he’s freaking out. He grabs your hand and unexpectedly just hugs you.
“In order to understand what I did wrong, I must know what it was. It cannot be a true apology if you leave me in the dark.” He says earnestly though you walk away. You don’t get very far as he grabs your hand and with a pause he pulls you in. His arms wrap around you and he presses his forehead against your shoulder. “Yell at me, insult me, just say something.”
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patchworkcuddlebug · 2 days ago
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"Oh, this is... really good."
The maid nodded into her cup, quickly taking another sip. She put her weight on the refreshment table as she quickly finished the rest of her drink. "Did you make this?"
"This one's Miss made it." The other maid said with a polite nod.
"What? No, it's a total hit." The first maid raised her voice just a little, over the sound of her pouring herself another glass. "I don't know what you added to it, but it's just got this..." Siiiip. "Like, flavour to it. I can't quite place it..."
"Thank you. This one will pass along the compliment to its witch." The other maid said politely as it collected another tray of hors d'oeuvres, quickly but collectedly bringing them out to the guest area. 
The maid slowly blinked at the strange response, before shrugging and finishing the rest of her drink. She should probably busy itself too... herself, it means.
...
The maid stood with her knees together, holding her cup with both hands. "She said a witch made it, this... I think." she says, tilting her head just enough to remember. "Is that like... a spice?" Before the other maid could answer, she took another sip. "No, it's gotta be something sweet, right...?" she said under her breath.
"Oh, the witch is in attendance. Would that one like to meet her?" The other maid said. A different maid from before, but still familiar. 
"That...?" the maid was confused, before the feeling just seemed to... dissipate. "No, this... I just wanna figure out what's in here. I've been feeling weird since this started..." Another sip.
"Is everything okay?" There was genuine concern in the other maid's voice. "That one should rest-"
The maid rested against the refreshment table.
"-If it isn't feeling well." The first maid blinked at the strange term again, but the confusion fell away just as quick.
"No, it's... I just feel kinda... floaty?" Another sip. "It's like... it's easy to just stop thinking and do stuff. It's not bad, it just feels..." the maid trailed off. She wanted to say strange, different, wrong, but none of those words seemed to work.
"Oh, that's just stillness!" The other maid seemed excited, still keeping her polite aura. "That one is very receptive. It will make an excellent doll.
It... the maid wanted to ask what it meant, but... They both noticed the chef-maids bringing out meals. The maid perked up, quickly busying itself with bringing the food, in sync with the other ones. Only after finishing the rest of its drink, of course.
...
The witch stopped in her tracks. She turned to face the gaggle of dolls following her, and counted five. "Excuse me, darling, but I don't seem to recognize you." She loomed over the new doll, a look of entertained curiosity. "Are you lost, little one?"
"No Miss." The doll closed its eyes to politely shake its head, before looking back at the witch like a good doll. "This one was hired as a maid, but it became during the party. May this one please be your doll, Miss?" 
"Oh, well aren't you adorable." The witch pulled the new doll in and gave it a gentle kiss on the forehead. "Dolls, be sure to give Honey here a warm welcome once we're home."
Honey gave a satisfied smile, now knowing how to make iced tea just how her Miss likes it.
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Note
Angst Villain x civilian where the villain cheats on civilian with hero
“If it is of any comfort, it didn’t mean that much to me." The villain cocked their head, as if they were thinking about something intensively - which they weren't. They looked at the civilian, but failed to conjure any pity.
Their partner, well, probably ex-partner now, looked at them with wide eyes and tears rolling down their cheeks.
"I-" The civilian's hands were shaking, their face contorted in pain. "What did I- what did I do wrong?"
Their voice was shaking.
"Nothing."
"I..." The civilian took in a deep breath. "Oh god..."
They gasped for air desperately but the villain couldn't help but think about the hero in their bed, moaning lovingly. It was true that the civilian hadn't done anything wrong. They were quite good company to keep around. They were tidy (which was very important to the villain), they were nice, avoided conflict, didn't ask too many questions. The perfect kind of person to keep around, someone who wasn't getting involved in the villain's business.
But when it came to pure desire, the hero was simply more tempting. It was about power.
The civilian wasn't a challenge in bed.
The hero on the other hand...
"Oh god...I can't-" The civilian gasped for air over and over again, coming very close to mimicking a panic attack.
"I can move out if you want, or you do. Whatever you like."
"I wanted to marry you, I - I love you, I..." The villain raised a lazy brow.
"We can still get married if you want to, but I'd like to screw the hero every now and then," the villain said. The civilian turned away, but the villain could obviously tell that they were crying harder now. They would have never brought this up, but unfortunately, the villain had gotten a bit lazy and the civilian had found out about the affair.
It wasn't the end of the world, but the villain had planned to keep the civilian around for a little longer. More than once, they had thought about proposing to the civilian out of pure necessity, but the amount of work linked to that, had spoiled the idea quickly.
"You don't have to decide now," the villain clarified. "It's an option, that's all."
The civilian's back was still turned towards them.
"I had so many plans for us," they whispered, almost mumbled the words. "What did I do wrong, why are you doing this to me...?"
The villain rolled their eyes.
"Like I said, it didn't mean that much to me. They're attractive. They showed up at my work. We fucked on the desk and started to meet regularly." A lot of lies. Technically, they had been flirting with each other for the last year. "Work" meant their usual nightly activities. The thing with the desk was true, though.
The civilian turned around, eyes bloodshot.
"Did they force you? Because they're the hero?" The villain pursed their lips. Interesting. It was probably pretty easy to turn themselves into a victim in this situation (the civilian was by no means rational right now), but they had already admitted that they wanted to meet the hero in the future, so keeping up with that lie was going to be exhausting.
"No," the villain said. "Their ass just looked great that night."
"I don't understand, I thought you loved me?! We've been together for three years..." The civilian wiped away their tears but new tears followed and followed.
"...I like your company, yes."
"That's it?"
Once again, the villain cocked their head, staring at the civilian.
"Come on. A hero. The hero. Who can say no to that? It's a sexual thing. Has absolutely nothing to do with you. You're great." They shrugged. "Stay here. Get some sleep. We can talk about the rest tomorrow."
The civilian stood there, didn't dare to move.
"My love, you must be exhausted."
The civilian took in a deep breath. They nodded.
"There we go," the villain said softly. "You look lovely right now, by the way."
It wasn't that the villain liked being cruel - they just couldn't help it.
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russellbby · 1 day ago
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There's always pressure😣 || Pt.2
parings: charles leclerc x sister!f2 driver!reader, arthur leclerc x sister!f2 driver!reader
in which: the pressure of being the youngest Leclerc siblings keeps increasing..
requested: yes, by @ihtscuddlesbeeetchx3
Part 1 Part 3 (coming soon)
twitter
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//
Y/n sighed as she looked over Twitter, she knew that it would reach her mother who had been looking for her, it didn’t take long as her phone pinned again.
Maman❤️
You sneaked into the Mercedes garage?
This is disrespectful from you Y/n.
I mean it this time, get back to Ferrari now.
read
“You should probably go back, sweetheart. You don’t want to upset your mother anymore” Susie told her softly.
“Well, the damage has already been done so..” Y/n mumbled as she stood up.
“Keep off twitter kiddo, nothing nice comes from it and I know you too well to know you have been reading stuff” Lewis added.
“Know me too well Lew, anyways see you guys soon” Y/n said before leaving the Mercedes hospitality.
Toto, Susie and Lewis watched Y/n making her way towards Ferrari, trying to avoid cameras and reporters who wanted to know why she wasn’t with her family in Ferrari.
“She would be a perfect replacement for you” Toto said looking at Lewis, who only smiled.
//
“Y/n!” Pascale called as she seen her enter the Ferrari hospitality. “Hey maman,” Y/n mumbled before sitting down trying to avoid the glares from her and her brothers.
“Ferrari not good enough for you, sœur?” Arthur asked.
“I did watch you both,” Y/n replied.
“But you weren’t there when we got out the car, instead you were too busy talking to Lewis in Mercedes” Charles added.
“C’mon Y/n, we wanted the whole family together and you ruined it on not being there” Lorenzo told her.
Y/n made eye contact with Charlotte, Alex and Jade who gave her faint smiles before she looked down and started to fiddle with her fingers.
“If you were apart of Ferrari, maybe you could have had a chance like Arthur today” Pascale told her which made Y/n look up at her.
“I’m with Mercedes and I ain’t changing my mind, it’s my career you can’t control that” Y/n snapped, making her brothers look at her with widen eyes.
“Hey, don’t talk like that with maman!” Charles warned.
“But she isn’t wrong, Mercedes chose Kimi over you today and most likely for their second seat next year too” Arthur told her, which made Y/n feel her heart drop hearing her own brother say stuff like that.
“Arthur, too far.” Lorenzo replied.
“What? I’m not wrong, am I? She should of won the F2 championship weeks ago but it’s gone down to the final race and she might not even win it” Arthur added.
“F*ck off Arthur,” Y/n snapped.
“Y/n, don’t spea—
“No maman! I’ve had enough of you all! Do any of you know how badly I’ve felt today? No, because all you have cared about is the history Charles and Arthur has achieved today! You all have pushed me aside and didn’t even realise I wasn’t even in the garage until someone posted it on Twitter! All I have dealt with today is being compared to Charles and Arthur, how I should be on the same level as them as I’m a ‘Leclerc’, do any of you know how much pressure I have on my back?
People saying why I haven’t joined Ferrari as it runs in the family, I choose Mercedes to be different and to try create my own name in the sport, I’m sorry it’s offended you so much Arthur. Also, sorry I haven’t won the F2 championship already but why even comment about that Arthur as you haven’t even won it and got dropped!
Now, I’m leaving so please leave me alone and just think about I’m apart of this family too, even that may be surprising for some of you!”
The Leclerc family instantly feeling guilty when they watched the youngest leaving the hospitality with tears running down her face.
//
“Breathe kiddo,” Carlos said softly as he had his arms around the young girl and was in an excluded area of the paddock.
“I can’t do this anymore, Carlos” Y/n cried as she wiped her tears.
“Hey! None of that talk, you can’t give up now, you have already achieved so much” Lewis said as she joined the pair.
“But what’s the point anymore?” Y/n mumbled.
“Being named a F2 champion, is a good point to keep going” Lando said as he appeared out of nowhere.
“Listen to the muppet, but seriously you can’t give up now Y/n and I’m proud of the way you stood up towards your family” Carlos told her.
“C’mon, let’s take you back to Mercedes while Carlos and Lando can talk to your brothers” Lewis said giving a look over to the two other drivers who nodded.
While Lewis and Y/n made their back to Ferrari, Carlos told Lando what he heard the Leclerc family saying to Y/n. Soon enough they found Charles and Arthur.
//
“What is wrong with you both, seriously! She’s your little sister and you say that stuff to her? Your family are the only people who haven’t realised just how much she’s been struggling and says it all!” Carlos exclaimed as the kept quiet.
“Not saying anything says it all,I wasn’t even there but what Carlos had filled me in with, it tells me that you guys just took it too far” Lando added.
“We’re sorry alright? We all feel guilty, I didn’t think she was feeling this bad” Charles said.
“I was just angry that she wasn’t there when I got out the car today, it would of been amazing to celebrate that moment with her she knows how much it meant to me” Arthur mumbled.
“She is proud of you both, her face lit up when she seen you both on the track together. However, it’s gets too much for her sometimes as she knew from that moment the increasing pressure she would have on her to preform this weekend” Carlos told them.
“Just leave her alone for a bit, she’s going to be with in Mercedes. But you both and whole family need to talk to her before she races this weekend” Lewis said as she approached the four of them.
“We will,” both Leclerc brothers replied.
//
Part 3 is in the making! :)
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marksbear2 · 18 hours ago
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Hi papa could we get literally any slashers w reader faking an orgasm. I just think that would be interesting. Have a nice day 💕
I kept laughing when I was writing this dude 😭. I lowkey love this request like it’s something I never got before. I don’t even know what to with the title 😭. I’m probably gonna do a pt2 on this with slashers like Norman and Brahms
SLASHERS WITH READER WHO FAKES ORGASMS.
⚠️ Warnings!- Multi slashers, mix top and bottom reader. Short but sweet, fake organs ofc, Jason, Hannibal, both ghostface original killers and Michael.
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JASON VOORHEES
He was mostly confused, he heard your fake moaning and awkwardness but he didn’t think much of it at first.
When he tried to go again you quickly told him you were tired and needed to get rest so he allowed it. When you left to the bathroom he noticed that the sheets didn’t have cum on them.
He sat there waiting for you to come back and when you did he stared at you silently for the whole time in his own mind. He rethinks y’all’s two entire sex life.
He sat there nervously and anxiously wanting to bring it up so bad but didn’t have the courage to. But the next time you two had sex and you faked orgasmed again he was sick of it and sat there annoyed waiting for your explanation. If you can’t provide one he thinks that he’s the worse person ever at sex.
BILLY & STU (GHOSTFACE)
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“Did you even cum?” Billy asked as he watched you pull out and listened to you say yes. Stu and Billy exchanged a look as they was you dispose of the condom. “He definitely didnt cum you must be a bad fu-“ Stu was about to tease but Billy shoved him before he could finish.
The two talked about it ever since then trying to get to the bottom of why did you fake cum.
Next time having sex you was fucking Stu as Billy was jerking himself off to it, Stu already came about two times so you wanted to wrap things up. You began to awkwardly and trying have a convincingly good orgasm.
Both Stu and Billy picked up on it and laughed at you, not in the mean way just teasingly. Now they try their best to make you cum.
MICHAEL MYERS
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While being bent over and Michael pounding you from behind. You made your body tense up and began to let out more moans then “came.” With Michael being nowhere near done with you he grabbed your cock to jerk you off while you came but as he did it he felt your cock not pump out anything.
You could feel his judging eyes from the dark mask he kept going until he finally came himself before dragging you on the bed to jerk you off wanting to see are you even able to cum.
If you don’t he doesn’t care, but if you have another fake orgasm he watches and stares.
HANNIBAL LECTER
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He noticed the moment that you seemed that you’re not getting any pleasure from this at all. He saw your body language and the way you moved.
As you fake came, he was laying on his back thinking with a small smile tugged at his lips when he heard and saw your fake moans and movement. Grabbing you by the back of your hair before you could pull out.
He was quick to confront you, pressing you about it until you actually gave him an answer. Since he is a bit curious and asks you way too many questions about Whats wrong.
THE END
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abizarreyodelingincident · 2 days ago
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Shovel Love
Snow tickled the tip of his nose as Jason fumbled with his keys. His gloves were too thick for his pockets, and his grocery bags made any maneuvering unnecessarily complicated. He was not dropping the cereals on the sidewalk. Half of it was covered in melted slush that would instantly destroy the package. He’d never live it down. 
So, he might have had to bite on his gloves, ignore the taste of leather and keep an arm elevated to balance his bags, but he did get his keys out without accident. 
The triumph was short-lived though, as the hair on the back of his neck suddenly tingled. 
“What do you want?” Jason asked, not looking away from the door. 
There was the faintest sound of snow crunching behind him. 
“I came to give a warning,” Nightwing hissed, his voice low and dark, as threatening as anything Jason had ever heard. 
And he had heard a lot of threats from his big brother. The perils of tugging Batman’s cape. 
“You’re a bit late for that,” Jason scoffed, a corner of his lips twitching into a smirk. “Already had the Arrows and most of the Titans give me their speech weeks ago. What took you so long?”
The scowl on his brother’s face deepened. 
Nightwing was the type of man that worked three superhero shifts and still tried to hold a day job. He was always in movement, always everywhere he needed to be. It made him reliable and popular with multiple generations of heroes at this point. But it also meant he had no roots anywhere. He got gossip later than most, and he was not always in a position to make good on that intel right away. Multiple crises owing.  
This was probably the first free moment he had gotten since he had learned that Jason was in a relationship with Roy Harper. 
Understandable. But Jason didn’t really care for that excuse. 
“I was busy. Others told me they’d already seen you, but I still wanted to show up for Roy.”
This time, Jason did snort. Sure. Everyone wanted to be there for Roy. And he had not ended up friendless in rehab either. God, he hated them sometimes. 
A gloved fist struck the door right next to his head. 
Jason turned around. Nightwing boxed him against the door. He was shorter, sure, but that did nothing to lessen the actual threat in his stance. Jason had seen him take down behemoths like Bane or Croc without a scratch after all.  
“Enough,” Dick growled. 
It was also hard to ignore the fact that Dick had shown up in armor while Jason only wore a winter coat for protection. And a bag of groceries hardly compared to escrima sticks with the power of cattle prods. 
“I don’t care what game you think you’re playing-”
“Not a game,” Jason bit out, irritated despite his best efforts. 
“When you break Roy’s heart, I will make you regret toying with my friend for another one of your fucked up taunts.”
“Not everything is about you.”
It took skills to convey an eye roll behind a domino mask. Nightwing managed effortlessly. 
“Of course not.” His voice turned snide. “When is it never not about Jason Todd with you?”
“Not even gonna dignify that one. So, you gonna break me in half if I hurt Roy. Cool. Message received. Are you done?”
Wrong thing to say. His dismissive tone was obviously interpreted wrong, because Nightwing bristled. 
“If you think I won’t-”
“Yeah, yeah, ten out of ten, Dick. But like I said, you ain’t the first one to give that speech. I’ve already been threatened to be skewered, deafened, decapitated, frozen in the speedforce, drowned, pulverized, thrown to a hell dimension, etc. etc. with the promise that it would make what the Joker did to me seem tame.”
Nightwing did twitch then, but it was a small thing, and quickly buried away if it was ever there. Jason didn’t bother putting stock in it.
“I guess no one really threatened lobotomy if you want to go there. Wait, no, one of his psychic teammates did. Look, at this point, just say you’re gonna beat me to death with your bare hands and save us both the time.”
Nightwing’s fists clenched, and his skin paled another shade. 
It could be anger, horror, any number of things. Jason had no intention to decipher it. 
The scar on his neck was throbbing, like it wanted Jason to remember. Funny how that always happened around heroes. 
“I really don’t care what a bunch of hypocrites like you think of me, Dick. If you wanna break your moral codes on me, go for it, you wouldn’t be the first. Hell, it wouldn’t even be your first time either.”
The frown slipped for a second, replaced by surprise, by outrage. God, Nightwing was winding himself up again, and Jason just really wanted to go put this fucking carton of milk in the fridge before it went bad. 
“Night, Dick. Glare at me through the windows if you still want to be intimidating, but I’m done talking. You’ll kill me, message received. Now, fuck off.”
And he twisted his keys in, pushing the door open and slipping inside in an instant. 
He slammed the door closed behind himself, and he snorted when the doorknob immediately rattled. Didn’t open without a key to the building. Obviously, Nightwing could break in. He probably wouldn’t though. He’d said what he wanted to, and Dick had never wanted to speak to Jason longer than necessary. 
He would definitely be doing some surveillance tonight though. He would be on high alert, probably under the impression that now that the main player had shown up, Jason would be putting his diabolical plans into action. Damn. He should close the curtains first thing as he enters, but that would be just inviting Dick to bring in every friend he had to mount a ‘rescue’. 
Jason liked this apartment. They had picked it together. It had enough space for them, was in the right part of town to be close to action when they went out as vigilantes, didn’t cost both their arms to buy…  
It was in Star City, but nothing could be perfect. 
Jason climbed out the last of the stairs and played with the keys for a second before he entered his home. 
Roy dropped the arrowhead he’d been working on, and stood up from the dinner table.
“Jaybird!”
Roy had a tendency to light up whenever he saw someone he cared about. It didn’t matter if Jason was leaving for a black out ops that would take a week or two or if he was going on a walk, the second he was back, Roy’s smile went wide and the knots of tension in his body all went slack at the same time. 
It didn’t matter how many times Jason came back, Roy exuded relief every time. 
(Not a lot of people stayed for Roy.)
The grocery bags found their way to the kitchen counter. The carton of milk could wait. 
“Hey,” Jason said as he grabbed onto his partner’s hips, “missed me?” 
“Yup,” Roy chirped, right before he leaned forward and met Jason with a gentle kiss. 
For a second, all was right in the world. And because he was Jason Todd, that feeling truly only lasted a second. He wanted to abandon himself in his lover’s arms, those beautiful biceps that pulled incredibly powerful bows to nail insane targets from equally insane distances. Even if he did not deserve that kind of peace, Jason was too greedy not to want it. But he could already feel someone’s eyes on them. Huh. That really did fuck up the mood, didn’t it?
They parted. 
“Who was it this time?” Roy asked after a moment, his shoulders dropping in exhaustion. 
Jason offered the smallest smile. “Dear old Dickiebird. He’s probably watching us as we speak.”
Roy pinched the bridge of his nose. He briefly closed his eyes, and muttered some absolutely filthy curses that would have made a sailor blush. Then, with a determined stride, he marched right up to their living room’s window. He made a show of scanning the night, then flipped off the figure perched on the rooftop opposite to theirs. 
Jason devolved into giggles. Giggles! Him! And in front of a witness too. It was a good thing no one would ever believe Roy that Jason was capable of anything other than snarls and sneers. 
The funniest part of all these threats was that all these paragons somehow thought Jason would still be alive after he lost the last person to ever care about him. Was he supposed to care if they chose to spit on his corpse or reduce it to ash? It’d only help make sure Jason would not come back again.
***
Nightwing’s visit was nothing out of the ordinary, besides the tardiness. Jason had a reputation. It pissed Roy off to no end how so many people would parade around their place now and offer him unconditional support in kicking Jason to the curb if needed. Jason honestly would have thought it was kind of sweet, if it was not disgustingly hypocritical. 
Roy had once been the black sheep of the hero community. 
But the blackest sheep of them all wore a Red Hood. 
Also, on occasion, an apron to cook. A cheesy, horny one that said ‘Kiss the cock’ with a cartoony rooster on the front. Roy always waggled his eyebrows at Jason when he wore it. What was he supposed to do? A man was weak. 
At least, the horny promises in those eyes usually waited after they had eaten whatever Jason had slaved over in his pots and pans. 
Tonight’s menu was a honey glazed salmon that had been priced just in that sweet spot of affordable on sale they always looked for. It did look good, if Jason said so himself. He poked at it with his knife, his mind on other things. He should not wait any longer. It was almost the twenty-fourth. Any later and it would hurt worse. 
He hated himself a bit more for it though. 
“Hey, Roy?” Jason said softly. 
Roy hummed lazily, blowing over the steaming piece of fish. “Jaybird? What is it?”
“I don’t think I’ll be able to make it to Queen’s for Christmas Dinner. ”
Roy froze. He stared, uncomprehending, his fork still suspended in the air with a piece of salmon, held in a tightly clenched hand. He stopped breathing. His eyes filled with an emotion that was so rare in him. 
Fear, in a way no army of mimes or evil robots or space dragons could ever evoke. 
“I got a lead on the trafficking ring,” Jason said. 
The shift was immediate. Whiplash even. Roy nodded, mind set. 
“Then I’m coming with you.”
Jason made a show of hesitating. The last thing he wanted was to pull his partner away from the people he loved. Especially when things had been so rough between them before. It would do no one any favor if Roy bailed on them now.  
“You should go see your family.”
“Jason,” Roy scoffed. 
“They wouldn’t be happy if I pulled you away from the holidays for work.”
A flash of fiery emotion burned through Roy’s voice. “So what? I should let you do this without backup because Ollie wouldn’t get into the Christmas Spirit otherwise?”
“We already scouted things. We don’t need to both be there to crash the operation. I’ll be on frequency. If I need the backup, I can call the rest of the birds. They’ll show up.”
They wouldn’t, because Jason would not tell them anything. But there was a slight possibility that they would have shown up if they knew the trafficking ring was legit and not a trap. 
“I don’t like this, Jaybird. We’re a team…”
“I’ll be fine. Nothing will happen to me. And it’s better this way. Do you really think the arrows wanted me polluting their dinner table? I can see Queen’s glare from here.”
“So you should be alone on Christmas instead,” Roy whispered miserably. “Jaybird… ”
Guilt started to gnaw at Jason’s bone, but he held firm. He wrapped his arms around his man and placed a light kiss on his cheek. 
“I’ll be okay, Roy. Not my first time. Trust me, you won’t miss anything busting up scum’s kneecaps. Okay, except maybe some catharsis, but we can do that any other time. Just go spend the time with your family. I’ll be there when you come back. What will you do with the gifts you’ve bought otherwise? Come on, Roy. You’ve been looking forward to that dinner for months.”
Which was exactly why Jason had timed everything to be unavailable at the last minute. He had taken the hints a while ago. He was not going to ruin things for Roy to impose on people that hated him. 
***
Jason did not react to the sound of their bedroom door slowly opening. 
He pretended not to hear Roy’s sharp intake of air, or his sigh of relief. They did not poke at each other’s open wounds. They’d never survive if they started acting like their families. For all Jason was the biggest stain on superhero society, that spot had once belonged to Roy. Blame was an insidious game. It snuck up on you. It made fathers throw their kids out in the street. So, they just didn’t. 
Jason pretended to stir only when the bed dipped, because it would be completely nonsensical for a bat not to notice. 
(Roy, of course, knew.)
(They knew a lot of things about each other that they never put into words.)
“Had fun?” he mumbled into his pillow. 
Roy pressed himself against Jason’s back, warm, almost feverish. His arms circled Jason’s waist, his nose tickled the middle of Jason’s back. Like he didn’t want to risk Jason seeing his face. 
“Yeah. You? Wiped out the whole operation?”
“Purged the whole thing. Got a bunch of kids to their parents, or the cops for those who lived out of town. ”
A faint tension seemed to fall into the room. 
Jason should not have said that. 
Roy’s body was trembling. 
“They put up a plate for Lian… ”
Oh, Roy. 
“Dinah gave a speech. It was…” Roy sniffed. “It was really pretty. Lian would have loved it. Everyone ended up crying. Fuck, I… I really would have given up everything for her to be there with us then. I… I would have wanted you there, Jaybird.”
Jason bit his lips, staring ahead at their bedroom wall. Anywhere but back.
“Sorry, Roy.”
Should he have gone anyway? In his guts, he knew it would have been a disaster. Everyone else would have been so pissed if he had witnessed their moment. He was well aware of what Queen thought of him. He’d hissed it to him once. 
Why in the name of all that was good was he the one that came back to life? 
Jokes on Queen, Jason had been having those thoughts long before he and Roy ever became an item. Before the whole of the hero community seemingly rallied behind Roy for once in their goddamned lives. 
As Robin, he had died under the impression that he had been loved. That he had been a good hero, and that he had had a better run than most kids in his circumstances would have. 
And then he had woken up in his own coffin. 
How many of them had told him he had wasted every opportunity to be welcomed back? 
To what? He’d thought about asking them again and again. To a father who had disowned him in death, turned him into a cautionary tale for the other sidekicks? To a community that had forgotten him? To a battle that featured all the same monsters, only bolstered by even more abominations like Professor Pyg? 
Jason had died thinking he had been loved, and some cruel cosmic force had decided to show him how wrong he had been. 
Batman had told him, between even more lectures, that it was natural that a father would be filled with righteous fury at the death of his son. That it was expected he’d try to retaliate. To kill his son’s killers. 
Funny that, right? But Jason had also forgotten how Bruce had claimed not to be Jason’s father. His fucking fault for getting it wrong. For letting himself believe. For giving Batman a second chance, one desperate chance to show Jason had not been just a fool to believe three years of partnership meant something. 
He had long stopped being annoyed whenever someone got his motives wrong. He had been screaming everything he wanted and needed and was trying to accomplish, and not one of them got it right. Half the bats thought he had tried to force Batman to kill the Joker, for fuck’s sake. 
(The irony of them thinking Bruce needed to be forced to kill someone made Jason’s scar ache.)
(The irony of them thinking he had only come back from the dead once .)
“Do you want to go see her tomorrow?” Jason asked. 
Roy nodded against his back, stifling another bout of sobbing. Tightening his grip as if he would drown without that touch. 
“We’ll buy her a bouquet of daffodils and white lilies.”
“And red carnations.”
“Yes. Those too.”
The keening sound Roy made threatened to rip Jason’s heart in two. He felt himself shudder, his insides growing cold as he placed his hands over Roy’s, as he leaned into his partner’s touch. 
“Roy, I’m here,” he whispered urgently.  
“Don’t leave me, Jaybird. Please, don’t leave me. I can’t lose anyone else. I’m sorry. I know they hate you, I keep telling them to knock it off, but they never listen. They told me again tonight. They keep saying it’s Jade all over again. It’s not. I know it’s not. I’m sorry. Please don’t leave.”
“I’m here,” he repeated. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”
Slowly, he managed to twist himself inside Roy’s dead grip, managed to turn around to face his partner in crime and in life.
“Everyone leaves. Even Kori,” Roy whispered, despair choking him.
“I’m not leaving you. I’m here. Roy, I’m here. I won’t leave and I won’t die. I love you.”
Roy gave him a kiss mixed with tears. “I love you.”
Jason was certain that more heroes would come out of the woodwork and posture at him eventually. They would threaten and reason and bargain and every other thing they could think of to protect Roy from Jason. 
But when he held Roy in his arms after another nightmare, another beautiful dream where Lian was alive, another listless night when his arms itched with cravings , Jason knew he would be there until the day Roy got sick of him.
Like everyone else. 
But not a moment sooner. 
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kingofthewilderwest · 2 days ago
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I know tumblr isn't the largest space for TwoSet fandom, but in case anyone wanted a summary of last night's livestream:
The livestream was cozy, comfortable, and lowkey. We started it by ordering bubble tea. They were in their old, beloved Brisbane location.
They will restore all the videos, probably sometime today or tomorrow.
They will also try to reinstate the Instagram posts, though asked for patience because they're not sure how to do that.
They hid the videos because of an underestimation of fan sentiment. They didn't think people watched those old videos anymore, so they figured curate the chaff and just leave a few they were proud of for people to dig into and interact with.
They were receptive to this being the wrong choice, apologized, and talked about how in retrospect they could've done this better and communicated faster. They seemed in the know about different fan theories that popped up during the 50 days of silence.
B2TSM was definitely a passion project and it was a ton of work over the course of a year. They said they paid mid-six figures for these music videos and will be losing money off them.
They are closing down their store and once the latest round of merch for their music videos is gone, there will be no more merch.
They will not quit touring. There is now an official interest sign-up for a 2025-2026 World Tour on their website.
Their immediate plan is to take a break. They got as exhausted as they were during the kickstarter days when they were busking 24/7 on the streets.
After that... they don't know. They admit it's scary. But they want to keep forging new ground and finding new ways to advance classical music. Their mission to keep promoting classical music is ongoing.
Their last video (released today) is meant to speak to how they've felt about the last eleven years. They spoke positively and said they will never forget this chapter of their lives.
They are done-done making videos. Not to say it's impossible another won't happen (ex: TwoSet Talks), but it's best and most accurate to just say they're done-done.
TwoSet Academy is still being talked about in a vague fashion, though they did mention they have interest in promoting classical music education. So feel free to still sign up for that. Frankly it sounds like they're still figuring out what it'll entail.
They have multiple ideas of what to do next, but it'll take time for those to be honed into something good.
You can sign up for a newsletter for project and life updates to hear when they get around to it.
Since everyone was asking about health, again, they did get exhausted, but both are healthy. Brett's mysterious medical condition from 2020-2021 that people were concerned was an ongoing life thing sounds more like it was a one-time deal that exploded out from stress. He told us it was life-threatening, though, which was.... information. Relieved all over again that he got better.
They honestly but respectfully went through all the major controversies that have happened in the last year because fans asked about them. They tried to avoid going into drama or ripping into privacy, but acknowledged when something had already played its course, so answers were now okay to say. There were a few times where I think they didn't know both sides of a situation, but that's the normal and inescapable experience of being human, and insofar as everything they knew, they came off authentically and honestly in how they handled each scenario.
Controversies they went through included: the workplace allegations on reddit from 2023, the falling out with Jordan He after Fantasia, their distanced relationship with Ray Chen, and issues with content creators being inauthentic and chasing measurements like views and subscribers.
They seem like genuinely good and authentic guys. My respect to them, and I feel at peace with the whole situation.
Whole livestream just felt healing. If you want to go and hang out with Brett and Eddy, go do it there.
If you stumble into them on the streets, please go up and still say "hi."
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fridurwrites · 3 days ago
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@eldest-of-katts Yo! Happy truce! I tried pushing two of your prompts together into one, I hope I did them justice. AO3 Link here!
Pride, Anxiety, and Awkward Teenage Confessions
“Er. Mr. Lancer?”
William Lancer looks up from the final he’s putting together. It’s early morning, June first. The sun is barely starting to come up, the dew still fresh on the plants outside.
In theory, he came in to finish working on the draft of his English 2 final in peace. So what in the City of Night is the chronically late freshman Danny Fenton doing here already, peeking around the corner of his office door?
Actually, hold onto that thought. Danny’s still got eye bags the size of the old purse in Will’s closet and he looks rough, like he’s been in a fight of some kind. There was a ghost fight earlier in the morning, but Danny shouldn’t look like he’d taken part. Will carefully slides the unfinished test draft into his desk drawer before gesturing to the other chair in the room. He wants to tread carefully here. Danny isn’t in the habit of coming to him with problems, but it’s no secret that the kid has plenty to spare. “Is something the matter, Danny?”
Danny hesitates, then slips inside. “I dunno. What’s with the tie and flag and all that?”
“What do you mean? I know you’re familiar with pride flags.” Will says, eyebrows knitting. He really hopes he’s not wrong about that, or- worse- that he isn’t about to hear something wildly out of character for the boy.
“I- er-” Danny fumbles for a moment. “I mean, of course I am, I just wasn’t- why are you wearing, uh?”
Ah. Well, that’s not unheard of. Students always seem to think their teachers’ lives begin and end with the ringing of the school bell. Will quirks an eyebrow, giving Danny a smirk. “I would think that’s rather obvious?”
Danny’s face goes through a few stages of bafflement before finally landing in the realm of realization. It’s hilarious. Will has to carefully school his face not to give away just how amusing it is, actually. It’s not like Danny has any reason to have thought about this, but watching him rationalize the idea that his teacher is more than just the bald man that knows way too much about old books and plays is really entertaining. 
Finally, the kid settles on a breathless “Oh.” before sinking his head into his hands.
Will is probably not supposed to hear the way he mumbles something about getting his head hit harder than he thought. He blanches for a moment, makes a herculean effort to recover, then clears his throat. “Are you all right, Danny?”
“Mhuh?” Danny lifts his head, frowning, then nods slowly. “Yeah, sorry.”
That’s unsurprisingly hard to believe. Will returns his frown, leaning back in his chair. How best to approach this?
“Why are you here, anyway? School doesn’t begin for another two hours.” 
“Oh, uh. Just. Had to take care of some things early.” Danny’s eyes fall to his hands. “Didn’t feel like going home, so here I am.”
Will frowns. He could ask. He should, probably. But he’s had enough experience asking Danny questions when the kid feels evasive that he knows it’ll be a losing battle, and both kids have vehemently denied any concerns that their parents are responsible for the various injuries Danny occasionally sports.
He’s still thinking about how he might find out why Danny didn’t want to go home at six in the morning on a Monday when the kid’s intense stare snaps back up to him. “Can I ask you a weird question, Mr. Lancer?”
“Of course.” Will says, automatically. The mystery gets pushed aside in favor of helping in the immediate.
“So, um- you’re gay, right?”
“I identify as bisexual.” Danny makes an odd face, then shrugs. “Close enough. How did you know that you like guys?”
Ah. So the morning takes another twist and turn. Still, Lancer’s had this conversation with questioning students before. “If you’re looking for a dramatic story, I’m afraid it’s not quite that interesting. I had just started college and I realized my feelings for my best friend at the time were a lot more involved than just enjoying his company when I went out on a date with a woman and kept picturing him in her place.”
Danny’s face goes a bit pink. “What’d he say about it?”
Will smiles, watching his student closely. Now that’s interesting. “Ah, you know, it took me weeks to finally tell him how I felt. Things weren’t as simple back then, so I had to work up the courage. It turned out he was straight, but I don’t regret it. We still talk, and through him I met my actual first boyfriend.”
“He wasn’t mad?”
“Stone Butch Blues, no! He was flattered!” Will laughs. “Flattered, and glad that I’d trusted him enough to tell him.”
“Huh.” Danny tilts his head. It reminds Will of a curious puppy, not that he’d ever tell the boy that. “How’d you tell him?”
“Well, I had come up with this elaborate speech, studied all the best poetry I could find, but when I went to try to tell him about it not a single line stayed in my head. I wound up just outright asking him out to dinner.” Will shakes his head. “Not my finest moment, but he seemed to think it was a lot better when he did eventually read what I’d been planning on saying.”
Danny snorts, then stiffens, but Will smiles with as much acceptance and kindness as he can. “We still bring it up, sometimes. It’s good for a laugh, especially now that I teach English.”
“I- huh.” Danny fidgets again. “Um. Well. Thanks, Mr. Lancer, I, uh. Sorry I interrupted whatever you were doing.”
Will waves his hand dismissively. “Don’t worry about it. Are you heading home now?”
“Ah, eh.” Danny shrugs. “I kinda thought I’d just find somewhere to take a nap or something? Is that allowed?”
Will tries very hard not to scowl the way he finds himself wanting to. Sure, there’s not that much time before classes begin, but he thought he’d take a nap somewhere on campus? “Where were you thinking you’d do that, exactly?”
Danny rubs the back of his neck, frowning, like he’s just realizing maybe he said something he shouldn’t have. “Uh.”
The boy’s eyes go wide when Will gets up, and he starts to stand as well, only to pause when Will walks over to the corner of his office and grabs a box of textbooks off of the covered recliner there. It takes a few moments to clear the chair off enough to pull the sheet off of it, but when he does, Danny’s eyes go wide. 
“I had a period where I was getting migraines in the middle of the day.’” Will explains, balling the sheet up and tossing it into the adjacent corner. He can deal with it later. “Amy was vice principal then, and she helped me sneak this in to rest on during lunches.”
“Amy?” Danny asks, squinting.
“Ah. Principal Ishiyama, sorry.” Will shrugs. “Anyway, I’m just going to be doing some work. If you want to use it, you’re welcome to. I’d rather you be somewhere secure than in an empty classroom or in one of the halls.”
Danny’s still squinting at him, like he can’t quite determine if Will’s genuine or not. Will doesn’t say anything. He’s starting to think he should treat Danny almost more like a cat, and so he sits back down at his desk, pulls out the exam he was working on before, and gets back to it without another glance at the kid.
It takes a whole five more minutes before Danny’s curled up in the chair, quickly falling asleep. Will sighs quietly, makes a note to call Jasmine- not the Doctors, he’s learned that lesson after one too many times having to clean up a classroom after the tornado named Jack Fenton tore through it- and lets himself focus on his work again. 
It probably says something unkind about his home life that when Danny woke up from his nap in Lancer’s office, he felt more rested than he had in months. He decided not to think about it, thanked Lancer for the chair, and went to get his books from his locker and his backpack from the wall he’d phased it into earlier.
He had other things to worry about, anyway.
He still does, halfway into fourth period. 
It’s just that Tucker is right there, okay? And at some point today, emboldened by Lancer’s words (which, wow, not something he imagined he’d ever be thinking) he really, really wants to tell him that. Well. Okay, they’re fourteen, and it’s probably nothing, and Tucker’s so loud about the girls he wants to date, and.
Whatever. Point is, Danny wants to tell him about the way his stomach gets all weird when he’s carrying Tucker somewhere as Phantom. He wants to say that he keeps stopping himself from grabbing Tucker’s hand when they’re walking together. He wants to let him know that he’s listened to him ramble about tech or code or games or whatever he wants to talk about since they were old enough to have interests like that and he still doesn’t think he’ll get sick of it. 
He thinks he’d rather fight Pariah again without the ecto-suit than have to figure out a way to actually voice those things, and yet. Lancer said his friend had been flattered. Lancer said they still talked. 
He’s lost in his head when the bell rings, and startles bad when Tucker nudges his shoulder. “Bwhuh?”
“You good? Class ended like two minutes ago and you just sat there staring.”
Danny stares at his crush friend for a long moment, then nods, getting up and grabbing his bag. Lunchtime means a chance to make this happen before his nerve disappears entirely. “Yeah. Um. You think we could, maybe, talk?”
Tucker gives him an odd look. “Sure?”
He- he really hopes he hasn’t already sabotaged this. He might still before he even gets to the really scary part. “Without Sam?”
That makes Tucker frown, and for a moment Danny’s heart rate reaches something akin to a healthy resting level for a normal person again. “Uh. I guess, but she’s gonna be waiting for us already at the cafeteria? It’s Monday, so, you know.”
Danny does know. One of the lingering vestiges of Sam’s somewhat insufferable past moralizing about her veganism is Monday, the dreaded veggies and rice day. They’ve all grown up a lot in the months since then, he’d like to think, but she still seems to find a vindictive kind of pleasure in watching Tucker choke the vegetables down. 
Even if he’s sympathetic, even if this is his crush, he’s secretly at least glad that Tucker has one meal away from home that’s not greasy and protein-laden. He’d like both his closest friends to last longer than he did as something that can be called alive, thank you. He sighs anyway, puts on a grimace that he thinks Lancer’s drama elective would probably give him a good grade for, and wraps an arm around Tucker’s shoulders as they walk.
He’s going for comforting, in theory, but he doesn’t let go even when the pair find Sam waiting for them next to the cafeteria door as usual. Tucker’s warm. He always has been, and humans are all warm compared to Danny now, but something about Tucker’s warmth makes him want to hold it close. 
Or maybe he’s just gayer than he’s ready to admit. ‘Liking boys’ and ‘crushing on Tucker’ is already a lot to accept about himself, he feels, so he pushes that thought aside and flashes a nervous grin at Sam. “Heeeey.”
She stares at him for a long moment, then rolls her eyes. “What is it this time?” “Nothing bad! I just need to talk to Tuck. Alone. We didn’t wanna no-show you though.”
Their friend narrows her eyes in just the right predator-glare way that Danny wonders if Dora’s amulet didn’t have some kind of lasting effect. He shrinks a bit under her gaze, and Tucker snorts. 
“I dunno what’s up with him, but I think this time it’s not actually anything huge. Probably just the reason he was spaced out all last period.” 
Sam blinks at that, and the pressure Danny swears he feels from her attention fades. She glances between the pair, then- to his abject horror- a smirk slowly pulls at her lips. “Oh, really?”
Danny manages a reedy noise before clearing his throat and nodding. She’s been onto him for a while, he realized that a week ago, but in a rare show of restraint she hasn’t actually said anything. He almost wishes she would’ve, because maybe then he would’ve started thinking about it sooner, but a Sam that doesn’t make your business her business is a precious thing and he’s not about to complain too much.
“Well.” Sam says, and fuck, he’s blushing, isn’t he? His blood might be thick and cool compared to a normal human’s, but he can still feel the way it rushes to his face so hard it colors the tips of his ears. “I’m going to eat my delicious lunch by myself, and if you two need me to, I’ll cover for you with Falluca.” Tucker huffs. “You’re just in a good mood because it’s Monday.”
“Sure.” Sam’s smirk is sharp and unrelenting. “Have fun with whatever you’re off to do, but I want details later.”
“Yeah.” Danny squeaks, his voice cracking, and if he weren’t in such a public space he’d just vanish into invisibility and try this again tomorrow after something like that. “Cool. Later, Sam.”
She shoots him a completely conspicuous wink before she marches off into the throngs of students behind the cafeteria door, leaving the boys alone in the hallway.
Great. 
Before Tucker can say anything, Danny’s pulling him toward the nearest empty room. If he waits, if something interrupts them, he’ll lose the momentum that’s gotten him this far. He can’t afford that. Can’t allow it. If even Mr. Lancer could do this, surely he can too. 
Once the door is shut firmly behind them, he releases his hold on Tucker and takes a deep breath. “So, uh.”
His friend raises an eyebrow, and Danny stutters over nonsense syllables for a moment before settling on “I need to tell you something really important?”
“More important than lunch?” 
“More important than anything.” Danny says, hands twisting around each other nervously. 
Tucker blinks, then reaches out and puts his hand on Danny’s shoulder. Danny tries not to lean into his touch like some kind of touch-starved cat. “You mean that, huh? This is serious-serious.”
Danny nods once. 
“Okay.” Tucker frowns. “You’re not like, dying the rest of the way, right?”
“What? No! Besides, I’d tell both of you if it was something like that!” Danny squawks. 
“Hey, it’s not like you haven’t been weird about ghost stuff before!” 
“I promised to keep you both in the loop after the whole ‘ghost cold’ thing!”
Tucker rolls his eyes. “Well if it’s not something like that, then what else is so important, huh?”
Danny’s mouth feels like someone glued his tongue down, suddenly. He swallows to try and clear the feeling away. “It’s, uh. About. Um, crud, I mean- I think I, uh, maybe- do you like guys?”
Tucker looks at him like he’s struggling to parse the words Danny stuttered out. When his brain catches up, his eyes widen, and Danny’s sure this is the moment of rejection at best. Tucker’s been his friend since they were in diapers, why did he think this was something worth risking that over, Lancer said he was in college when he asked and Sam was probably just teasing him, and-
“I,” Tucker manages, before he pauses again and makes his ‘thinking’ face. Danny’s seen it countless times when Tucker’s elbow-deep in a problem and dialed in on solving it. It’s rare for it to come out in a conversation like this, but, well.
Danny’s used to feeling like a problem to be solved. He’s just not used to feeling that way around the people he’s closest to. It kinda sucks, but it’s not that much worse than the building heartache, so, you know. 
“I don’t know? I guess, uh, hm.” Tucker says, and Danny’s brain feels like it’s lagging out. Huh. “I guess I never really thought too hard about it before? But I mean, Too Fine Foley should be for everyone, maybe?” He makes a weak attempt at a grin. Danny stares at him in disbelief, and Tucker plows on through the awkwardness. “Why do you wanna know?”
“Er.” Danny thinks- well, he thinks he needs someone to smack him like a cartoon record player. Tucker’s not saying any variation of no, though. He honestly didn’t think he’d get this far. “I. I think I do. Like guys. Well, a guy. Maybe?”
Tucker’s face does something complicated. There’s the tickle of nerves and hope mingling in Danny’s sinuses, as much as he’s trying not to cheat with his weird empath bullshit. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
The pair stare at each other for what feels like an eternity.
“It’s, um. It’s you. I mean. The guy I, y’know, like.” Danny says, because the silence feels like it’s clawing at the inside of his skin. 
Tucker exhales an “Ohthankgod”, then reaches forward and pulls Danny into one of the tightest hugs either of them has ever experienced. Danny’s instantly glad he doesn’t actually need to breathe, wrapping Tucker up in a hug of his own. It’s more restrained- a confession like this would be ruined by accidental use of ghostly strength- but he thinks he’s got it just right to feel no less secure.
Then, maybe because they’re both a little overwhelmed and Danny’s basking in the open love and relief that pour off Tucker to the point it maybe has him a bit giddy, he plants his hands on Tucker’s cheeks and pushes the most awkward, genuine, meaningful kiss a fourteen year old has ever managed onto his friend-crush-boyfriend-whatever’s lips. 
It’s not a good kiss, really, and Danny will probably remember that much. Their noses are uncomfortable scrunched against each other, he’s off-center, he’s pushing Tucker’s glasses up with his face. It doesn’t matter, because it’s him kissing the boy he spent the last year realizing he kinda maybe loves in ways that don’t make sense if he just wants to stay simply best friends. 
It’s not until Tucker pushes at his shoulders that he realizes that the other boy needs to breathe still, and he pulls back, both of them gasping and grinning and so red in the face they’ll both be sent to the nurse if they get caught right now.
“Holy shit.” Tucker says. Then he grins again. “You are ass at kissing, dude. I gotta work on that with you.” Danny gawps at him. “Hey, I think that was pretty good for a dead dude’s first try! Not all of us practiced in a mirror like you did!” They stare at each other. Tucker starts giggling, and Danny follows suit, and they end up falling over each other in a mutual laughing fit.
When they finally emerge from the classroom several minutes later, it’s with Tucker refusing to let go of Danny’s hand. And when Lancer passes them in the hall, eyes landing on their locked fingers, all he does is smile and nod, a quiet and knowing sort of congratulations.
Sam’s first words in the cafeteria that day are “Finally! Took you long enough.”
Danny can’t help but agree. 
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littlemisssatanist · 1 day ago
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Hitlist
the jackal x fem reader
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~ i am a whore for eddie redmayne so you should thank his face for being so gorgeous
~ this is 2k words of poorly written and unedited smut. if you see typos,,, no you didnt.
~ i need his face in my chest thats like the only reason i wrote this
~ ty for everyones lovely comments on the last part!
~ look at my art of my beautiful husband who is too old for me
~ BEFORE I FORGET. i have a longfic idea for this sorta universe,,, a mr and mrs smith type of situation crossover w sherlock bbc as a case fic. what do we think
part one | part two
You lead him back to a hotel room. Your hotel room, though not for much longer. The people who had hired you paid for everything, and once they heard you had betrayed them, they would eventually be able to track you down. The faster you left, the better.
The Jackal kept you in his sight the entire time, staring into the back of your head as if he was trying to cut a hole right through it.
It’s not like I would have hurt him anyways, you thought mulishly, poking your tongue into your cheek, troubled. Your mind had already been made up before you had even stepped into the room.
You could never hurt him.
As you walked into the room, he stalked past you and started examining everything, keeping an eye on you all the same.
“It’s clean,” you offered, but he only shot you a side glance, not bothering to acknowledge you had said anything. You worked hard to keep yourself from letting the hurt show on your face.
Instead, you ask: “Married?” 
Trying to lighten the mood, you couldn’t help but notice the ring on his finger. By the way his face tightened, you knew it was the wrong thing to say.
“Divorced,” he muttered. “You?” he added, as an afterthought.
“No,” you shook your head. You had thought about it once, a long time ago, but it never worked out. You simply could not stop thinking about him.
The Jackal sat down next to you on the bed, done with his search. He was close, closer than you would imagine comfortable. This close, you could see every freckle and mark on his face.
You are definitely not complaining.
“Her loss,” you whispered. At his questioning glance, you clarified: “Your wife.”
The tips of his fingers brushed over yours and you shivered.
He huffed out a laugh, shaking his head. “No, it was my fault. She deserved better than me.”
His eyes flickered shut as he leaned in closer. You could feel his breath on your face.
“Probably,” you agreed, tilting your head away to admire the earlier hickey you had left. He blinked a couple of times, confused by the sudden distance you had put between them. Then you pressed your hand into the purple mark, and he hissed and pulled away. 
He went to lean against the headboard and you followed him, climbing into his lap. His hands immediately found your waist even as he tried to push you away.
Instead, you only pressed his hips against his, hands caging him in on either side of the headboard.
“Come on, J,” you crooned. “Don’t you miss this?”
“You tried to kill me!” He snapped. “Forgive me if I’m not so forthcoming.”
You frowned. “You were literally all up in my business not even five seconds ago. Besides, if I wanted you dead, then I wouldn’t have announced my presence,” you cupped his cheek as gently as possible. You couldn’t stop looking at his freckles. “I was never going to kill you.”
He paused, eyes threatening to flutter shut at your touch. Then he pushed you away again, seemingly remembering why he was mad at you. “Then why did you take the job in the first place?”
You resisted, pressing your forehead against his. “I was trying to protect you,” you said mockingly slowly, as if trying to make him understand something very simple. His cheeks reddened with humiliation and anger. “I knew that taking the job would give you some time. And the only reason I threatened you was because I thought you wouldn’t want to see me anymore.”
The end of your words turned into a soft whine, and you nosed his face into his. Your thumb pressed past his lips and into his mouth, gagging him. His tongue immediately met your thumb, swirling around it on instinct. You moaned, kissing the edges of his mouth.
“Get off,” he managed to mumble through his make-shift gag, saliva dripping past his chin.
“Alexander,” you murmured. “Look at me.”
His name, his real name, snapped him out of the lustful haze your actions had put him into. It had been so long, how had you even remembered that? He should have never told you.
He pushed you away and you finally relented, letting him throw you back onto the mattress and climb on top of you.
“Fuck you,” he said, before swooping down and capturing your lips with his.
The kiss was hot and searing, and you could feel his large hands feeling up your body.
“That’s the idea, J,” you mumbled into his mouth, running your own hands up his back and tugging on his shirt. You needed him naked. Now.
He pulled away, biting your bottom lip as he went, tugging his shirt above his head. You watched from beneath him, admiring the ways his abs flexed before he dropped his hands and caged you in between them.
“You look nice,” you breathed, your hands creeping up his chest. “Ah… I remember this. But the background was different. Ah-!”
J buried his face into the crook of your neck, biting down harshly onto the soft skin there. At the same time, his hand slipped down your pants and underneath your panties, finding the growing wetness between the apex of your thighs.
“It… it was something like,” you sighed as he slipped two fingers inside, “a desert scene? R-remember that, J? Fuck!”
He curled the fingers inside you, his free hand making a large bruise the way it pressed into your waist so tightly. He kissed up your neck and jaw and eventually found your mouth, muffling the words that couldn’t help but spill out.
He remembered it too. The Al-Qaeda operation, the wedding party, the car bomb. You had been a junior sniper working with his team, and he could not help but notice the way your quiet gaze kept falling on him. You met him in his room that night, slipping past the door silently. You weren’t so quiet then, and you weren’t so quiet now.
When he killed the rest of his team, he let you live.
Maybe it was a mistake to do that. But the way the moans kept falling from your mouth, he wasn’t in any position to regret his decision. His thumb pushed at your clit, circling it faster as your voice grew to a higher pitch, as moans and gasps filled the air quicker. He swallowed your sounds as they came out, not letting you get in any air.
The hand holding your waist came to rest at your neck. It was so thin, so easy to just wrap his fingers around it and choke the life out of you. He began to apply pressure, just the tiniest bit, but the way your breath hitched, he knew that you knew the power he had right now.
Your chest heaved up and down against his. Dimly he realized that he had neglected to take off your blouse and bra.
He pulled away slightly, continuing his circular movements on your clit. A thin strand of saliva connected your mouths, and he broke it with a soft flick of his tongue. The hand on your neck tightened, and you released a strangled groan. 
You were vulnerable. Completely at his mercy.
But you found that you didn’t mind. You wanted it. A relationship with him, one in which you could trust that he wouldn’t hurt you, the same way you could never bring yourself to hurt him. 
The pressure on your neck furthered, and your hands instinctively went to his wrist, gripping it tightly. He stared into your eyes. You could feel the wave of pleasure in your stomach growing, legs twitching subconsciously, tightening around the hand in between your thighs.
“P-please…” you managed to choke out, arching your back and rolling your eyes as the pleasure passed the precipice and washed over, stringing your body taut before allowing it to collapse into what felt like a melting puddle.
His hand left your neck, brushing over the dark bruise he had left behind. Something in him felt vindicated, glad to have caused you pain. He kissed the deepest part of the bruise, smiling against your skin as you inhaled sharply at the touch. 
You bring your hands to brush through his hair, gripping it tightly to pull him away from your neck, half heartedly throwing him away. He rolled off, groaning, painfully hard.
“Give me a moment,” you gasped, trying to catch your breath. Wow. “Fuck.”
“Good?” He asked.
You nodded, before realizing he probably couldn’t see it. You let your hand find his instead, squeezing it. He sighed.
“I need to go take a cold shower,” He said, moving to get up.
By some miraculous show of strength, you managed to sit up before him and pressed your hand against his abdomen, shoving him back down.
“No. We’re not done yet.”
He stared at you as you swung your leg over his lap, hovering above him. His face was still flushed red, making his dark freckles stand out against his skin. His eyes flicked from between your face to where his erection made a tent in his pants.
“Ok,” he muttered. “Take off your shirt.”
You obeyed immediately, fingers thumbing to undo the buttons on your blouse. The Jackal watched you hungrily, hands coming back to hold onto your waist. They were burning hot against your now bare skin, moving up your spine to unclip your bra and let your breasts free.
He cupped them; the heat making you gasp as you worked to take off your pants. You managed to get them to hang at your knees, finally sitting down on his lap and pressing against his clothed cock.
“Fuck,” he groaned, hips pressing upwards.
You circled your hips, mouth falling open at the stimulation to your clit. It was still overly sensitive from his fingers earlier, and the roughness of his jeans did nothing to help soothe it.
“I need your cock in me,” you moaned. “Please.”
The Jackal let out a strangled sound at your words, managing to sit up and push down his pants. His cock sprang free, nudging against your soaking wet panties. You grinded against him, wrapping your arms around his neck, feeling his back muscles.
He pulled at the band of your panties, allowing them to snap back against your skin. One of your hands finds itself back in his hair, pushing his face into your chest. You can feel him grinning, a low laugh rumbling from his throat.
Finally, finally, he lined up his cock with your pussy and pushed inside. Your mouth fell open in a small ‘o’ at the feeling of complete fullness. He was burning you up from the inside.
He pressed kisses to your bare skin, face still buried in your chest as he kept his hips moving against yours. Pleasure began to build up in you once more, and you knew by the soft grunts and moans that fell out of the Jackal's mouth, he was close too. 
“Inside,” you whimpered, clutching onto him so tightly you wouldn't be surprised if he wouldn't ever be able to separate from you. “P-please.”
You raised your hips, his cock slipping out completely, before slamming back down. Your lips met, more clashing teeth than a kiss. His tongue consumed the inside of your mouth, stealing away your breath as you came once more.
Still riding the high, you had enough sense to realize he had also come, just seconds after you, cum filling you and dripping out slightly. 
You swayed slightly, and the both of you fell to the side, his cock still inside you.
Your chest fell up and down. The Jackal shifted closer towards you, placing his head back in the valley of your breasts. Your hand immediately comes to his hair to keep them there.
The two of you lay like that for a while, before you groaned.
“We need to go,” you muttered.
The Jackal mumbled something you couldn't hear. You begin to get up, but he doesn't move, the heavy weight forcing you to flop back down. 
“J,” you patted his back.
“... give me five minutes.”
You sighed. “Yeah, ok.”
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part one | part two
tags: (for those who commented they wanted a second part (if you didnt want to be tagged,,, uh lmk) @affective-disorder @simp-ly-writes @freya260
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drowning-moonlight · 2 days ago
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On the Separation of the Straw Hat Crew during Sabaody Archipelago and its Effect on the Story
So when I first got into One Piece back in July of 2023, I already knew a couple of plot points that were going to happen. I just didn't know exactly when those things would happen and how they affected other plot points down the line.
Some of the things that I knew would happen but didn't know when were: the crew getting separated, the death of Luffy's brother Ace, and a two year time skip.
I knew these things would happen before I started reading the manga, I just did not know at which points in the manga these things would happen. I did not know they happened one right after the other. I did not know how these events all lead into each other.
I did not know that the order of events went: the crew is separated -> thus Luffy is alone at Marineford and isn't strong enough to save Ace -> so he decides to take a two year break from piracy to train and become stronger.
These events all lead into each other in ways that I did not know going into the manga. And that makes these events all the more painful because I thought Luffy would be with his crew when Ace died so that they could comfort him.
Like before reading, I genuinely thought that the crew would have a big group hug or something, to be a shoulder to cry on for Luffy once Ace died. And that! didn't happen! And it HURTS SO MUCH.
The crew is separated by Bartholomew Kuma at Sabaody. This event traumatized Luffy and as a reader, I remember being hit with the knowledge that "oh, yeah, this is the event other fans talk about when referencing the crew being separated." This is probably the lowest point for Luffy so far in the series. Unmatched until Ace's literal death at Marineford. And since I didn't know the order of events when I started reading, I had assumed wrong when I thought that the other Straw Hats would be there to comfort Luffy when Ace died. I was so very wrong.
I will never forget the sinking realization that I had while reading the manga that Luffy would be alone when Ace got killed. And I say "alone" as in he was without the rest of the Straw Hat Crew. I know Jinbei, Iva and the Okamas, Hancock, the Whitebeard pirates, etc were there supporting him but he was alone for all intents and purposes because his crew wasn't there. Not because they didn't want to be there with him of course but because Kuma had forcibly separated them. It turned out that Kuma had good intentions with that but it did still leave Luffy "alone" for the most traumatic moment of his life. I will never forget the dread I felt while reading Impel Down and Marineford proper when I figured out that the crew would not be reuniting any time soon.
Learning that the separation of the crew made Luffy feel weak made it make sense for me why he decided to take a two year break to train. I had wondered what the point of the time-skip was before I had gotten to that point. But it all made sense now.
And it makes Luffy's desperate loneliness at the separation hurt all the more.
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Luffy realizes what he still has left. His crew. Even though they were separated. He wants to reunite with them and thinks back to how Ace asked them to take care of him. Luffy knows he's in good hands even though his big brother is dead now. But his crew is far away.
And it all circles back around to them being separated on Sabaody. Separated by Kuma. Who had to become a Warlord because Ace himself had taken out a previous Warlord, leaving a spot open for Kuma to be forced into and later separate the Straw Hats.
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This whole sequence of events all lead into each other in ways I could have never predicted.
If Ace had never defeated that previous Warlord, then Kuma might not have ever been made a Warlord to replace him. Then Kuma wouldn't have been there in Sabaody to separate the Straw Hats. Then Luffy wouldn't have been "alone" at Marineford when Ace died. It's all connected.
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