#i want them unrealistically competent

[phoenixkaptain]

I have to be honest. As much as I love making fun of Bruce and Tim, I think that they’re more talented than fanon makes them out to be.

Like, the point of Batman as a character is that he’s unrealistic. It would be a very boring story if they made it realistic. Yeah, realistically, he’s not prepared for everything, but this isn’t realistic! This is a silly comic series about a man who has sent a box of live bats to another human being more than once!

I want that unrealism! I want Bruce to be able to get out impossible situations because he saw them coming! I want his convoluted, dumbass plans to work flawlessly! I want his plan to “fail” only for him to wink at the camera, revealing that failing was also in the plan!!

Batman is such a comforting character! I’m always “How’s he gonna get outta this one” instead of “Can he get outta this one” and it’s very nice!

He’s lame, he’s cringe, he’s the worst, he’s the dumbest man alive, but Bruce Wayne is never surprised and that brings me a great amount of comfort and joy.

Tim is the same way. I don’t want to think about a realistic fifteen-year-old being Robin, I want to think about the unrealistic ability Tim has to be completely unnoticed even by those with super-hearing. I want Tim to inexplicably think of every possibility and have a million contingencies, and while Tim does get surprised, he’s the most adaptable person on the planet, he can remake his plan in milliseconds!

I don’t want to think about Tim or Bruce failing or whatever. I want Tim and Bruce to inexplicably be all-knowing. Batman has managed to beat up Superman more than once, Robin xan inexplicably punch like a bullet through fucking water, and they both are billionaires with souls, do you really think I’m reading these comics for realism?

[yourqueenb]

I do not think it’s a good idea to keep Nia’s situation from the rest of the group. But the bitchy side of me is glad she doesn’t wanna tell anyone because I know the moment we do, it’ll become all about her again and MC’s issues will get pushed even further into the background 😑🤷🏽‍♀️

[qqueenofhades]

I got political whiplash on Threads. First, everyone was screaming, “All is lost!” I came back an hour later, and everyone was screaming, “We Ride at Dawn!”

The right-wingers are in panic mode. Steven Miller was practically screaming on Feckless news. 🤣

I mean. The right-wingers' entire mentality, the fuel for the January 6 attempted coup, the recent SCOTUS President God-King Immunity ruling, and all the rest, is premised on the simple fact that the president is indeed, Almighty God King who serves for life and will never, ever willingly give up his power. So that's how I can guarantee that the GOP, because they are short-sighted fascist morons, did not plan for this. Their entire strategy was built around attacking Biden, because they hate him. Like, really hate him. He defeated Trump the first time and there was still a good chance that he could do it again. Trump got impeached the first time for trying to extort Zelenskyy for dirt on Biden, because he didn't want to face him. That's why they went after Hunter on largely bogus charges, tossed around the idea of impeaching Biden, actually (uselessly) impeached Mayorkas, etc.

And yet, because Biden (even if he was forced to do it) decided to step away and voluntarily give up his presidential power instead of wrecking American democracy to hold onto it, that has broken their little shriveled fascist brains. They literally can't comprehend it, and I can guarantee they're now shit scared about having to face Kamala, a brown woman, who is the epitome of everything their tiny evil brains hate. As noted by those bangin' fundraising numbers, there is also a lot of excitement around her. And suddenly, after MONTHS of "this election is a referendum on which old and mentally declining man you hate more," that has been removed as a factor. (Watch the media suddenly forget all about age and/or mental competency as a factor now that Biden is out. Does it apply to Trump, you ask? CRICKETS.)

Kamala is going to mop the f'n floor with Trump at the next presidential debate, and I guarantee that the GOP knows that too. Because yes, if Biden had another bad debate, or if he has a bad case of COVID that might end up giving him long-covid symptoms or keeping him off the trail for days or weeks, that would have been very, very hard to recover from. Now the GOP is the one stuck with an old, mentally baffled, virulently hated presidential candidate and the most pro-Russia, anti-woman, demonstrable-sellout whitebread VP pick imaginable, that they had to choose because Trump nearly got the last one killed and he wasn't interested in the job again, for some weird reason. And as we have pointed out before, this is the last-chance saloon for Trump in any number of ways, and he has been demonstrably overconfident the last few weeks as the media was consumed with discussion of Biden's stumbles rather than Trump's manifold unfitness, treason, felonies, and all the rest.

I don't agree with Biden on everything he has ever done in his long career in public service, but I will say that I don't think he would have actually done this if he wasn't eventually convinced, for whatever reason that might be, that it was the right decision. And my one big fear about him stepping down was that the party would instantly fracture, people would start flogging unrealistic Magical White Boy replacements, and otherwise insist on an "open mini-primary!" or some other fucking bullshit. Now, there are still a few idiots trying that, but by and large, the Democratic power apparatus has instantly thrown its weight behind Kamala. That doesn't excuse them for the weeks of wibbling Anonymous Sources self-sabotage beforehand, and I still vote that we destroy the billionaires at our next opportunity, but if we can stick with that and keep up those mongo fundraising numbers, we might indeed actually have a better chance than before, and that was what this was all about.

As I noted yesterday, Black women have been disproportionately influential in taking Trump down (think Leticia James, Fani Willis, etc) and there is undoubtedly a huge, HUGE amount of poetic justice if Kamala can be the one to stick the knife in his greasy orange gut once and for all. I can likewise guarantee the GOP is well aware of that, and the fact that while they can yell even louder and trot out the same old racist, sexist, misogynist fearmongering dirtbag attacks they used on HRC, that is a strategy with demonstrably diminishing returns (it sure as hell isn't going to help them win any more female or suburban or black voters or anyone else we always hear about how they're Making Inroads with). And we're not going to talk about how it's Obvious that America would never elect a black female president. Obama won two terms. Even with all that weight of frothing misogyny and DECADES of Republican smear machines, HRC won the popular vote and was ratfucked out of the Electoral College by the slimmest of margins, after a massive interference campaign by the Russians. It is fucking possible, we are going to do it, and the Republicans are so, SO FUCKING SCARED of having to live in an America run by a brown woman, that can only be for the good.

Kamala Harris 2024. Let's go.

[vanteguccir]

── ୨୧ !　𝗟𝗔𝗩𝗘𝗡𝗗𝗘𝗥 𝗛𝗔𝗭𝗘

　　　　　　　　　𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒕 𝒔𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒐𝒍𝒐 x reader

SUMMARY: Where Y/N drowns amidst so much criticism and negative comments from the media regarding her relationship, but Matt is right by her side to bring her back to the surface and surround her in a lavender haze.

WARNING: Mentions of hate, slightly angst.

REQUESTED?: No.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism, copy, or "inspiration"! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.

A/N²: This fic was written for the Challenge for the writers 2024 made by @annamcdonalds67

　　　༻✦༺ 　༻✧��　༻✦༺

Staring at the ceiling with you

Oh, you don't ever say too much

Y/N lay down next to Matt on the double bed that decorated the room. The soft gloom emanated from the corner lamp, painting the scene with orange tones. Their intertwined fingers on the mattress formed a comforting bond, a silent affirmation of each other's presence there. Together, they observed the ceiling as if they were tracing constellations on the white paint in their minds.

The silence that surrounded them was serene, and their synchronized breathing seemed to compose a soft song. Matt knew that sometimes words were unnecessary. There was no need to try to force empty conversations when each other's presence was enough.

Y/N's thoughts, however, were a whirlwind. The sudden exposure that accompanied her relationship with Matt - which they just had revealed to the public some months before - had left her overwhelmed, despite her boyfriend's advance warnings about what followed him with his career. As someone who preferred a low-key life, being dragged into the spotlight of fame was suddenly a big experience.

While her body was physically in the room, her mind felt the weight of these thoughts slowly crushing her. It was an internal battle to maintain sanity amid the media storm that surrounded them.

And you don't really read into

My melancholia

Matt, on his side, noticed the melancholy in Y/N's eyes and the way her brow was constantly frowning, but he respected her silence. He understood the pressure she faced; the crazed fans who used her words against herself and criticized every second of the videos she made a little appearance or was only mentioned, and his heart burned to be able to help her more, but he knew that trying to interpret her thoughts could only increase her distress, his own mind bringing him the mere memory of the episode from some night's before.

To the soft sound of popcorn crackling in the kitchen next door, Y/N anxiously waited for Matt on the made bed, wrapped in the comfort of the fluffy comforter. Her phone rested in her hands, and she slid her fingers across the screen to access her Instagram feed. A notification caught her attention, a tag on a photo posted by the boy.

With an anticipated smile, Y/N opened the post and found herself among the images of a photo dump posted a few hours ago. Her heart filled with warmth when she saw the picture of them together, the girl didn't know how to explain what she felt when she saw him post so openly about them, having gone through difficult situations in this regard in her previous relationship.

However, her smile faded when she swiped down and was met with an avalanche of comments. Thousands of cruel words and cutting criticisms flooded the massive list. Comments that questioned who she thought she was, insinuations that she wasn't good enough, and that Matt deserved someone better. Every word was a blow to her heart, a confirmation of all the fears and insecurities she had kept hidden inside.

Feeling crushed by the virtual pressure, a wave of anguish enveloped her. Tears began to blur her vision as she struggled to contain her overflowing emotions, not wanting to appear vulnerable in the situation, much less worry Matt.

Her head filled with questions, how could she compete with the unrealistic expectations of those who observed her life through a screen?

Minutes passed in a second for her, the sound of the door opening again echoed softly, Matt's figure entering the room following it, the tempting smell of popcorn floating in the air and a childish smile decorating his face. His smile fell instantly when he saw Y/N holding the phone tightly with one of her hands, tears rolling down her face while her other hand pressed her mouth, forcing away the sobs.

"Hey, hey, babe, what happened?" Matt ran over to her, his tone full of worry, leaving the bucket of popcorn on the bedside table and kneeling next to her on the bed.

Y/N sobs as she tries to explain, showing him the cruel comments that filled her entire screen, the device shaking slightly as a result of her trembling fingers.

Matt felt his heart break when he saw the suffering on Y/N's face and the ridiculous words in front of him. Him mind was divided between helping her or posting something obscene, full of insults, and totally guided from his emotional side.

The boy sighs, closing his eyes and wishing to take the bad things away from his girl before sitting properly next to her, wrapping her in his arms affectionately and bringing her head to his chest, sealing her hair line for long seconds.

"I'm so sorry, petal. I didn't know this was going to happen. I should have thought before posting..." He murmured, gently stroking her back as Y/N clings to him for comfort. "I'll figure it out, I promise."

I been under scrutiny (yeah, oh, yeah)

You handle it beautifully (yeah, oh, yeah)

All this shit is new to me (yeah, oh, yeah)

With that, it was known that Y/N was constantly under the relentless eyes of the fandom and obsessed fanpages, her every move being dissected and analyzed minutely by the voracious eyes of anonymous people. But that was the price to pay for dating a public figure.

While facing this incessant storm of unsolicited attention, she couldn't help but admire how Matt, despite his issues with anxiety and certain unnecessary comments left by people who called themselves fans, handled the problems of notoriety with admirable patience and calm.

He seemed so comfortable on camera alongside his brothers, so skilled at ignoring invasive situations that Y/N often found herself questioning how he did it. However, for her, this was all unfamiliar and intimidating territory, too new.

Although she passionately wanted to quickly adapt to this new lifestyle, as she had no plans to leave Matt, she also found herself racing toward an uncertain direction, trying to keep her sanity and identity intact amid the media chaos that surrounded her.

The couch enveloped them in a comfortable embrace as Y/N and Matt enjoyed the peace of the silent living room, the soft sound of a Disney movie echoing in the background. Matt's arms around Y/N were a sanctuary of calm, warming her body and bringing her a comfort that made her feel like she could sleep any moment. It was one of those rare moments when they could simply exist t the interference of the fast-paced world around them.

Matt, with a sigh of contentment, reached for his phone, curious to see how the car video they had posted a few minutes ago was doing, eager to see what the fans thought of the themes brought up.

Quickly, he opened the YouTube app and scrolled through the comments. Among a flood of compliments and kind words, however, some less favorable comments caught his attention. Some criticized the way he was quieter than usual, while others questioned why he was even part of the videos, as he had nothing to add.

Matt rolled his eyes in a dismissive gesture as he turned the screen of his phone towards Y/N, allowing her to read the comments that filled the space.

"Look at that." Matt said, exasperated. "These people have nothing better to do than criticize anything and everything. Immature teenagers who love to point out only negative things." He muttered, shaking his head in disbelief.

Locking the screen of his phone with a brusque gesture, he left it aside on the couch, refusing to let the negative comments ruin his moment of peace. The boy turned to Y/N again, his smile returning as if nothing had happened and wrapping his arms around her once more.

"Sorry about that, pretty girl." The brunette asked softly against her skin, burying his face in the curve of her shoulder. "Sometimes people just need to spread negativity to feel better about themselves. But let's not let that get to us, hm?" He lifted his head from where it was, smiling small at his girl before pressing small seals on the exposed skin of her shoulders and neck, eliciting loud laughter from the girl.

[...] All they keep asking me (all they keep asking me)

Is if I'm gonna be your bride

The only kind of girl they see (the only kind of girl they see)

Is a one-night or a wife

Post after post from the significant number of fans who adored them together claimed that they were "endgame", as they had been in a relationship for over a year and seemed to be going strong.

But the comments that followed were always like a punch to the gut for Y/N. Some argued that she was Matt's future bride, while others insinuated that she was just a "gold digger", there to take advantage of his fame and money, like a one night stand, before eventually leaving him.

Y/N's feelings fluctuated between anger and sadness. How dare they question her true feelings for Matt? How could they judge their relationship based on unfounded assumptions and speculation? They were only 20 years old, marriage was out of the question at that moment, and they both knew that this kind of thing is something planned and thought out together, never done for the emotion of the moment or to meet the needs of others.

A feeling of helplessness invaded her when she read those things, accompanied by a hint of doubt. Y/N felt deep pain due to the lack of trust and support from Matt's own fans. She had tried so hard to be a positive presence in his life, to love and support him unconditionally, and to make the people who meant the most to him and who brought him to the top really like her.

And now, she was faced with the cruelty of strangers who were ready to judge her without even truly knowing her.

I find it dizzying (yeah, oh, yeah)

They're bringing up my history (yeah, oh, yeah)

But you weren't even listening (yeah, oh, yeah)

Y/N felt constantly dizzy with everything that was happening around her. It was as if she was in the eye of a media hurricane, where waves of curiosity and intrusion were endlessly engulfing her. Even with her social networks private, she found herself inundated by a flood of fanatical fans, eager to discover even the smallest detail of her life.

The triplets' YouTube videos, in which she participated, were constant targets of investigation by fans. Every word, every gesture captured by the camera, was analyzed. And the boys' posts, where she occasionally appeared, were scoured thoroughly for any hint of her personal life.

The simple act of even appearing on a TikTok for a brief second was enough to trigger a new wave of speculation and conspiracy theories from fans. Y/N felt like she was looking over her shoulder every moment.

This growing fear began to affect her willingness to participate in the brothers' videos and appear on their social media. She retreated into the shadows, avoiding the curious eyes that surrounded her.

Meanwhile, Matt scrolled through his social media feed, the cruel and mean comments about Y/N flashed on his phone screen at every moment. "She only wants to hurt him", "She's only with him for the money", "She will run away at the first opportunity". The words penetrated like sharp knives, but he faced them with a calm expression.

He could feel the anger pulsing through his veins. The injustice of these accusations made him want to scream. But he forced himself to remain calm, to take a deep breath and remember what really mattered.

Matt knew Y/N better than he knew himself. He knew she wasn't a gold digger, that she wasn't with him out of interest or for any petty reason. He knew that she genuinely loved him, that they shared the same dreams and fears, joys, and sadness.

So he ignored the negative comments, the people who hid behind anonymous profiles to spread venom and hate. Sometimes, he even had the small pleasure of responding to these accusations with an ironic comment or a joke, knowing that, deep down, none of it mattered.

Because he trusted Y/N. He loved her more than anything in the world, and nothing could shake that unshakable trust he had in her.

[...] Talk your talk and go viral (oh, oh, oh)

I just need this love spiral (oh, oh, oh)

Get it off your chest (woah, woah, woah, woah)

Get it off my desk (get it off my desk)

Talk your talk and go viral (oh, oh, oh)

I just need this love spiral (oh, oh, oh)

Get it off your chest

Get it off my desk

But on the other side, the moments of exhaustion seemed to multiply for Y/N, like a lingering shadow that followed her with every step. Increasingly, she found herself sinking into a sea of ​​cruel comments and venomous speculation from the media and fans.

Until a specific moment, where she finally understood that with Matt, she found the strength to fight it gradually. His arms wrapped around her with comforting warmth. His words of encouragement were like a balm to her soul. He supported her in every way possible, constantly reminding her of how much she was loved and valued and that nothing they said mattered.

Y/N slowly learned to filter the noise of the outside world, to block out the negative voices that tried to invade her mind. She no longer allowed the mean comments to get to her, choosing to ignore, block or mute them, allowing them to get everything they wanted off their chest and go viral using her name, and not giving a damn about it.

It was a gradual process, a journey of self-discovery and self-transformation. Y/N still had her moments of weakness, her doubts and fears, like in that moment. But with Matt by her side, she was able to cover her ears and eyes to them.

I feel the lavender haze creeping up on me

Surreal

I'm damned if I do give a damn what people say

No deal

The 1950s shit they want from me

I just wanna stay in that lavender haze

And despite all the bad things, being alone at that moment with Matt in their own haven was comforting. A lavender haze enveloped Y/N gently, like a warm lilac hug amidst the darkness of uncertainty, protecting her from external judgments.

In the comfort of their room, with Matt's presence beside her, she felt as if she could close her eyes and simply let herself be carried away by the constant flow of love she felt for the boy.

Despite the whirlwind of thoughts that danced in her mind along with vague memories of all the futile posts from pages that gossip about artists, demanding surreal things from her as if they had just come out of a time machine to the past, there, in that moment, she allowed herself to sink into the depths of this good feeling.

Matt's presence by her side was like a protective shield, pushing away all her fears and insecurities. His eyes, full of tenderness and understanding, met hers from time to time, conveying a silent message that he was there, ready to face any challenge alongside her. And there was nothing in the world that made him want to leave there.

With one smooth movement, Matt turned briefly to reach for the lavender air freshener that rested on the nightstand next to the bed. He activates the device with a delicate touch, releasing a fragrant mist that fills the room with the sweet scent of the flower. The soft, comforting scent envelops Y/N like a hug, calming her agitated mind and bringing an almost instantaneous feeling of serenity.

The mattress moved with Matt's movements, and he slowly turned around, now lying on his side and facing Y/N. His eyes met hers lovingly, and a smile played on his lips as he moved closer until their bodies were mere inches away.

"You still with me, sweetheart?" His voice was as soft as the cotton beneath their bodies, echoing off the walls that were surrounded by silence for long minutes.

"Uhm." Y/N murmured back, imitating him and turning so that she was lying on her side, facing him, the fog in her mind slowly dissipating.

With soft and delicate movements, Matt wrapped the girl in his arms, bringing her closer to his body, laying her head on his chest, the steady beat of his heart calming hers almost automatically.

"They don't matter, you know?"

Y/N felt a comforting warmth spread throughout her entire being upon hearing the brief and almost insignificant words, but that meant the world to her. She snuggled even closer to Matt, feeling his arms tighten around her waist where they held, allowing herself to sink into them like a safe haven from the storms of the outside world.

Matt lowered his head and gently kissed the top of his girl's head, breathing in the soft scent of lavender shampoo that emanated from her strands. Every touch was filled with love and devotion, a silent promise that he was there.

And so, cradled by the soft haze of love that surrounded them, Y/N and Matt surrendered to the present moment, the girl leaving behind all the worries and fears that haunted her, her heart begging to stay there forever.

I just wanna stay in that lavender haze

taglist:

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(If you want to be added to the taglist, go to this post)

[sserrafeim]

I’m going to hold your hand when I say this:

Feyre isn’t a bad artist. She doesn’t draw stick figures. She’s not a bad warrior either. The inner circle is her family, they wouldn’t be mad at her for painting the walls of a magic cabin that can clean itself. She’s not a breeding mule for having a child, neither is she too young for one, given that having a child was her choice and something she discussed with her partner beforehand. She didn’t lie and wasn’t manipulated when she recognised a male character’s abuse for what it was, no matter how much you want to justify his actions.

Nesta isn’t a bad dancer. It’s mentioned, and later shown, how she can enchant people with a mere dance. She’s not a bitch for dealing with her trauma in a way that you don’t like or you don’t think is “fit for a woman.”

Elain isn’t bad at baking. She isn’t stupid and a coward for choosing to live a simple life without violence, something she detests. She still needs time to accept her turning into fae, having a mate, and let go of the last.

Morrigan isn’t a whore for wearing revealing clothes. She isn’t a stupid manipulative bitch for not reciprocating a man’s feelings towards her or for not feeling safe and comfortable around a man that hurt her, no matter how attractive both men might be. You can’t blame her for not feeling ready to reveal her romantic and sexual preferences to her chosen family when she’s spent years being abused and ridiculed by her blood relatives.

Amren isn’t a bitch for being born a creature of terrifying power that doesn’t feel a single emotion and has no real free will, created only to follow her father’s orders. She can’t be blamed for not reacting to most things the way people would do when emotions are a new thing to her after living thousands of years without them.

Gwyn didn’t fake her rape. She has no intention of infiltrating a group of people for nefarious purposes or luring a man away from another woman. She spent years in a sanctuary trying to regain her identity and bodily autonomy after being brutally assaulted and witnessing the decapitation of her sister, the only family she had left. Her decision to take her life back in her hands wasn’t made with an ulterior motive. You can’t blame her for a man’s actions and feelings (ACOSF bonus chapter) because it “threatens your ship.”

Emerie spent her whole life being afraid of her father, thinking he would kill her. She suffered him after he beat her mother to death and had to endure everyone praising him for being a “good man” when not even her wings were spared from his cruelty. She then had to suffer the threats and humiliation of other male relatives, and not, after her father’s death, because she ran a shop by her own.

The Valkyries isn’t a stupid plot about women training as warriors and surface-level feminism. It’s about women reclaiming their lives after horrible things were done to them and gaining the power to prevent it from happening again to them or other unprotected women. Nesta, Gwyn, and Emerie winning the Blood Rite wasn’t “unrealistic.” They trained for that and they trained even before knowing they were going to compete. It wasn’t a senseless victory for the sake of plot.

The obsession this fandom has with diminishing female characters, friendships, and traumatic experiences of said characters for the sake of uplifting the male ones in the series is wrong on so many levels and it has to stop. It’s not “critically thinking” or “valid criticism”, it’s misogyny. Deep-rooted misogyny. It’s ironic in a way, reading a book series that is all about women healing, discovering themselves and finding true love and friendship, only to shit on its female characters.

[jedi-enthusiast]

Hello. How are you?

Can you raise an explanation as to why The Jedi Padawans were sent to fight on the front lines alongside The Clones and Jedi Knights/Masters, please?

Of course, the Padawans need Masters but I'd assume there would probably be enough inside The Temple to teach them, despite the war...

I know The Jedi wouldn't want to send their children onto the front lines, so I'm trying to think of how they'd ended up there anyway.....

Thanks in advance (if you do have an explanation. If not, thanks anyway).

Good night/morning!

Hey, I'm doing alright---I'm sick rn, but I'm hoping that it'll pass soon so I can get back to my normal shenanigans <3

So the out-of-universe explanation is just that TCW was a show made for kids and so there are gonna be kid characters doing all the cool fighting and battle stuff. Is it pretty unrealistic? Yeah, but this is also a show set in space with magic powers and laser swords lol

In-universe things get a little more complicated and we kind of have to make our own assumptions based on what we already know.

In TPM we see that children...aren't really treated like children, from a young age they're actually treated more like teenagers or even adults. Padme is the queen of an entire planet at 14, a job so dangerous that she has 12 body-doubles who pretend to be her so she doesn't get killed, ready to die in her place---body-doubles who are probably of a similar/the same age. Anakin is allowed to compete in a pod-race on Tatooine at age 9, a race that is shown multiple times to be dangerous and get people killed, and it's treated as completely normal by both his mother and his opponents.

So we can probably deduce that, while the children are obviously still children, they're expected---and shown---to be more capable and independent than they would irl. They hold a level of maturity and responsibility at a younger age, and this is completely normal in the SW universe.

So the explanation is that padawans' ages don't really come into question.

We see from how Anakin and Obi-Wan react to Ahsoka, who is 13 in TCW movie, when she introduces herself as a padawan---they're shocked and view her as too young to be one, with Anakin continuously calling her a "youngling." From that, we can deduce that generally padawans are older than 13 and---in a universe where a 14 year old is seen as mature enough to rule a planet and other 13-15 year olds are mature enough to possibly die for said ruler---taking a padawan who is, say, 15+ into battle isn't really odd or seen as morally questionable.

As George Lucas says regarding Ahsoka being brought into the war, "she's being trained as a Jedi Knight, she's got this."

And so do all of the other padawans, maybe more so since a lot of them are probably older than her. They're Jedi, they're not younglings anymore, they can handle the responsibility and---if they can't---they're still just students and their master is right there to protect and teach them.

That seems to be the canon intention, at least. If you want to take a more nuanced look at it through the lense of them actually being children, rather than the canon intent of them being more mature children who can handle these things, you're probably going to have to come up with your own reasons why the Jedi would bring the padawans into it. In my fics, I usually go with the idea that the Jedi didn't have much of a choice, just due to what their training is/does as well as different concerns with leaving them at the Temple, as well as pressure from the Senate to have "every Jedi available" on the front lines---but you can obviously do something different, if that doesn't sing to your tune.

I hope my ramble answered your question <3

[wannab-urs]

Outtakes - Monsterfucking

AO3 | Kofi | Main Masterlist | The Spreadsheet Masterlist

Howdy folks!

Here's a list of fics I've read where either the Pedro boy, the reader, or everyone involved is a monster of some sort.

Summaries and tags are, in most cases, provided by the author - please be sure to read them as some of these fics may have content you do not wish to read.

Pedro boys currently included are: Joel Miller, Ezra, Din Djarin, Dave York, Marcus Pike, Dieter Bravo, Jack Daniels, Frankie Morales, Oberyn Martell, Max Phillips, and Tim Rockford.

updated 5/24/2024

Demon

Met the Devil Last Night

Joel one shot by @pedgito

I made a joke about wanting to screw dirt-covered Joel even if he was deep in the trenches of hell and...well, yeah. This is pure filth and nothing else. Porn with minuscule plot, if you will

fem!reader, demon!joel, no specific age gap since dude is a literal demon, but reader is early 20s and I picture Joel to be his younger self (around 36), mentions of su*cidal ideations, this all a completely made up concept pls don't come for me about rituals, ect i will cry. virgin!reader, reader's father is a priest and horrible (just a total douche)/mother isn't alive, spitting, oral, unprotected piv, blood drinking, competency kink, innocence kink, mutual masturbation

In Every Lifetime

Ezra series by @xdaddysprincessxx

It’s fall of 1974 in your quiet small town of Chesterfield when everything falls apart. Or is it the beginning?

Reader is mid to late 20s, witchcraft, tarot, yes the witchy things depicted in this is real witchcraft things, use of Latin

Common Courtesies

Din one shot by @juletheghoul

Pride and Prejudice vibes but Mr. Darcy is a sex demon

**pussy-eating** language, age-gap (legal, reader is of age) dirty talk, supernatural elements, sexist society, sexist comments from readers father

Solum

Dave York one shot by @ezrasbirdie

Are you lost?" Your heart seizes with fear at the deep rumbling voice, head jerking to look in the direction it came from. It’s too dark. You can’t see anything. "Who’s—who’s there?" You ask, hoping you sound braver than you feel. "You didn’t answer my question,” it said. “Are you lost?' You swallow. You shouldn’t be here. You’ve never stepped foot in this building before today. You have no business here. But lost? No. You’re exactly where you set out to be.

SMUT, dubious consent [reader wants to be with him, but he's a demon so you know—it's a little influenced]—dead dove, this is horror and Dave York is an actual demon who kills people, graphic violence, body horror, a dash of blood kink, oral sex

Sell My Soul For You

Marcus P one shot by @absurdthirst

During girls night out, you accidentally dial your boyfriend, Marcus Pike. He hears you complain about how vanilla your sex life is and that you need to him to be more dominant. Marcus proves he’s willing to do anything to please you, even if the cost is his soul.

Angst, hurt feelings, demon possession, dominant!Marcus, oral (male and female receiving), face fucking, spanking, pussy slapping, spitting, fingering, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, bondage/handcuffs, anal play, double penetration (fingers and cock), soft aftercare.

Incubus

Crawling Back to You

Dieter one shot by @prolix-yuy

Have you no idea that you're in deep?

religious corruption kink, bastardizing prayers, brief drug use, mentions of alcohol consumption, grinding, oral sex (f receiving), fingering, breaking a hymen, descriptions of blood, biting and drawing blood, pheromone incubus anatomy, size difference/kink like whoa, monster transformation, monster fucking, PiV sex, wildly unrealistic sex, kind of dubious consent in the way that she has no idea what she's getting into so Dieter checks in A LOT, consent is sexy and monsters especially should ask for it, Reader has no idea what she's doing when it comes to summoning an incubus.

Dream Within a Dream

Ezra one shot by @gasolinerainbowpuddles

Your dreams have become the escape from your draining life. When you discover you are not alone in your dreamworld, will all the aspects lacking in your waking life be fulfilled by your handsome companion?

dream fucking, loss of virginity, depictions and deviations of supernatural lore, erotic gore

Cryptid

Mothman Fever

Joel one shot by @beskarandblasters

You and your friends head to Point Pleasant, West Virginia in late September for the Mothman Festival. And that’s where you meet Joel Miller, a fellow Mothman enthusiast. But once you spend some time alone with him you realize that he’s not who he says he is.

Smut, canon divergence, semi-public sex, alcohol, no outbreak, pet names (luna), oral sex (female receiving), vaginal fingering, PiV sex, sex pollen, dubcon, monsterfucking

Oh, Honey

Joel series by @lincolndjarin

you’ve been given a gift. a fresh start in a brand new place, the sleepy little town of Honey, WV. a distant aunt has passed away and left you a little plot of land and her camper, the stars must be aligning for you because the local mortician is looking for an assistant and you’re desperate for the work experience. your new employer even offers to set you up with her brother-in-law! things are looking up, you’ve got a brand new home, a new town, a hot date, (and thanks to a series of bear attacks that started immediately after your arrival) you have more than enough work to keep you busy!

Soulmates AU, eventual smut, teratophilia, graphic descriptions of violence, explicit descriptions of menstruation, graphic descriptions of the mortuary process, horror, depictions of extreme fear, body horror, graphic depictions of death, eldritch horror. this is a monster fucker fic, proceed accordingly

Sanguine

ˆEzra one shot by marisferasiop

since being turned as a boy into- whatever liminal state of cryptid he is now- Ezra has walked this earth ageless and alone, never finding his place or a partner for long. He interrupts your meal in the city one evening, and brings you home to strike up a deal; feed from him, alone, and keep one another safe from discovery. The fact that he finds his purpose under the soft graze of your teeth and home between your thighs is a nice side effect.

lots of blood, smut, soft yearning sweet boy Ezra, mapuche mythology and monsters, schmoop. Ezra is a subby little sap in this.

Tentacles

MDKT Sex Pollen

Joel one shot by @theywhowriteandknowthings

Your patrol with Joel goes a little sideways

Dead Dove Do Not Eat/DDDNI, noncon/heavy dubcon, body horror, tentacles, mouth r*pe, double/triple penetration, bondage, non-consensual bondage, choking, deep throating, pheromones, sex pollen, tentacles, mind fuck/mind break, brainwashing, guilt, trauma, trauma bonding. Let me know if I missed anything.

Taungsdays, am I right?

Din one shot by @theywhowriteandknowthings

You awaken to find yourself and Din in an alien position.

Smut, dubcon/noncon, pheromones, tentacle sex, bondage, mind-fuck, alien sex, unprotected PiV, anal sex, double penetration, dirty talk

The Stranger the Better

Dieter one shot by @seventeenpins

Dieter gets tentacles. That's the fic.

uhhhh this one has a whole lot: importantly--TENTACLES!, lots of viscous body fluids, slight dubcon due to tentacles with a mind of their own??, buckets of cum, piv, tiv 👀, dieter is a switch, sex parasite, anal, masturbation, body horror, idk they're freaks and it's great, reader has a vulva but gendered language is not used

Dragon

Promise

Ezra one shot by @criticallyacclaimedstranger

You are taken from you village by a dragon, and he has an obscene proposition for you.

Human/Monster Romance, Monsterfucking, initial dubcon (sort of a damned if you do damned if you don't deal), dragon fucks reader, Breeding, Oviposition, Stomach Bulge, PIV Sex, Loss of Virginity, Painful Sex, Cunnilingus, Fellatio, dragon!ezra is really good with his tongue, Squirting, All's well that ends well though, seriously I don't know how to warn for this fic guys, dragon biology is weird, DON'T LOOK AT ME! Light Bondage, drugging, pet names

Werewolf

Bad Moon Rising

Jack series by @wardenparker

When a handsome stranger called Jack shows up on your struggling ranch looking for work, you’re more than happy to take him in - and into your bed, as well.Death of a parent, loss of a spouse, general family drama.

Vaginal sex, oral sex, rough sex, Save a Horse Ride a Cowboy is basically a life motto here, Gunshot wound, first aid things, blood mention, raw meat mention. Vaginal sex, oral sex, rough sex, so much cum, size kink, squirting, anal play/ass eating, monster fucking.

Shifter

SNAFU

Frankie series by @theywhowriteandknowthings

You’ve done this thousands of times, brought new teams to heel, be it in Britain, Japan, Korea, yet the States are always the hardest to wrangle, the mixture of over-hyped masculinity, the general military bravado, whatever it was, you always ran into trouble. But nothing has ever come close to the new Shifter Charlie Team, and boy, are you in for the biggest challenge of your life.

Canon-Typical Violence, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Shifter AU, Eventual Smut, Eventual Romance, eventual Frankie x reader, former Jason x Reader, Smut, Fluff and Smut, Military, Porn With Plot, Slow Burn, Pack Dynamics, Pack Cuddles, Pack Building, Strong Female Characters, strong female lead

Alien

Kudzu

Ezra one shot by @beskarberry

a familiar stranger shows up at the doorstep of your infirmary with unfamiliar wounds. You're no doctor, but masquerading as one makes you the only one in the position to save his life. Can you win out against his extraterrestrial illness, or will his new abilities stake a claim in you as well?

NON-CON/DUB-CON, human/alien hybridization, forced breeding/impregnation/birth, rough/feral sex, sex pollen, body worship, cervix penetration, cum inflation, knotting, a wisp of a/b/o. Nonsexual: wound care and dressing, hurt/comfort, a little whumpish, shootouts, blood, dumb jokes, cheesy ending

Jizz Fingers

various boys series by @gasolinerainbowpuddles

An intergalactic creampie love story.

Smut, alternate universe, aliens, crack fic, penetrative vaginal sex, creampie

Mermaid

Rises the Moon

Joel one shot by @psychedelic-ink

As the man responsible for operating the lighthouse, Joel lives a solitary life on the isolated coast. He has no complaints, enjoying the hauntingly beautiful songs that echo from the sea at night. One stormy night, he rescues a mysterious mermaid tangled in a fishing net. As you recover in the lighthouse, the two form an unlikely bond and find comfort in each other's company.

mention of joel from time to time visiting a brothel, loneliness, mermaid anatomy things, oral (fem receiving), piv, touch starved!joel and reader, mild breeding kink, squirting

Swamp Creature

Beneath the Mire

Ezra one shot by @bonezone44

You're a human-turned-swamp monster and a man crashes into your corner of the bayou.

DDDNE, Non-con somnophilia. Blowjob. Unprotected p-in-v.

Vampire

Sated

Joel one shot by @softlyspector

Joel just wants you to eat well

love as being consumed, blood drinking, smut from start to finish (piv, f!receiving oral, fingering), Joel's praise kink, talk of eating, consuming, drinking, hunger, etc, vampires you get it.

Attraction Spell

Joel one shot by @jksprincess10

Vampire Joel finds witchy reader in her shop asks her for a love spell

DDDNE, noncon/dubcon, stalking, blood play, using blood as lube, ambiguous ending, unprotected p in v, fingering, praise kink, choking, pain kink, rough sex, minimal editing.

Bleed for me

Din series by @saradika

When it's revealed that the Mand'alor is seeking a companion, you find yourself among those hoping to be chosen. A life of luxury in exchange for your blood seems a fair trade - even if you're hiding a closely-kept secret. One that would certainly put your life in danger.

vampires, alternate universe, canon divergence, blood/drinking blood, shared memories, angst, death/violence, biting, body worship, possessive!pleasure!dom!din, implied aphrodisiacs, mind meld, praise kink, oral, piv, marking

The Special One

Joel one shot by @toxicanonymity

You meet a handsome stranger on a night out with friends. The last thing you're expecting is to be chained up in his basement.

Smut, age gap, alcohol, drugging and kidnapping, chains/restraints, blood and its consumption, oral sex (female receiving), period cunnilingus, dubcon, held in captivity, reader can menstruate, male masturbation, vampire!Joel, alternate universe, dark!Joel

Vampire!Dieter

Dieter one shot by @chronically-ghosted

Interview with a vampire, gatsby style

flirting, a bit of blood, maybe dubcon due to The Thrall but i think it's safe to say we all want It from vampire!dieter, unbeta-ed because i needed to write something or someone was going to die

vamp but it's you

Everyone at this party's a vampire

Dieter one shot by @idolatrybarbie

"you look so pretty like this."

briefly discussed necrophilia, innuendo, heavy petting

Sanguine

Ezra one shot by @marisferasiop

since being turned as a boy into- whatever liminal state of cryptid he is now- Ezra has walked this earth ageless and alone, never finding his place or a partner for long. He interrupts your meal in the city one evening, and brings you home to strike up a deal; feed from him, alone, and keep one another safe from discovery. The fact that he finds his purpose under the soft graze of your teeth and home between your thighs is a nice side effect.

lots of blood, smut, soft yearning sweet boy Ezra, mapuche mythology and monsters, schmoop. Ezra is a subby little sap in this.

vamp but it's everyone

a court of fangs and foxgloves

Oberyn/Max P one shot @psychedelic-ink

After you left the court and hence Oberyn, no one is eager to forgive you for your betrayal. Especially those closest to you.

Smut, MMF threesome/orgy, voyeurism, mlm dynamics, Dom/sub dynamics, sub!Max, switch!reader, dom!Oberyn, rimming, ass play, anal sex, penetrative vaginal sex, biting, mentions of blood, vampirism

I Bite Back

One shot by me

Max Phillips is seemingly always in command, always domineering, always on top… except when he’s with you.

Dom!Reader, Bratty Sub!Max, pegging… duh. This is technically monsterfucking also lmao. Aftercare is implied because I'm implying it here, I didn't write that in. Oh also vamp!reader if you want but I don't really make that explicit

Red Right Hand

one shot by me

You and Max have dinner and then you get freaky. It’s almost too much for poor little Maxxie to handle.

Pure porn, pwp, Blood drinking (they’re both vampires), minor character death (your victim lol), murder… obviously. sub!Max, Dom!reader, unprotected PiV (they’re vampires, you are not), uhhh blasphemy probably, face riding, cum eating, Max’s vamp face, oral m! and f!receiving, overstimulation m!receiving, multiple male orgasms, refractory period nonexistent due to vampire fuckery, ass play m!receiving, praise kink, use of pet names/titles (Mistress for reader/ baby boy, pet, Maxxie, and one surprise for Max), aftercare, no use of y/n.

Only Lovers Left Alive

Joel Series by @atinylittlepain

He offers her another option between life and death. How could she refuse?

Smut, dubcon, gore, blood and bloodplay, dark themes, cowboy!vampire!Joel, set in the past, alternate universe

vamp but it's max phillips

With Cherries on Top

series by @ithinkhesgaybutwesavedmufasa

After countless late nights and giving up important things in your life for a job and a man that refuses to promote you, your family begs you to quit when you break it to them that you have to miss your grandmother’s 85th birthday. Max Phillips may have left the country an American citizen but he came back an undead vampire, meaning his status in the States is no longer valid. In order to not get deported to Romania, he tells immigration that the two of you are getting married and he strikes a deal to make it worth your while.

Smut, language, adult themes, sexual innuendos, workplace harassment, family issues, angst, hurt/comfort, manipulation

A Little Lipstick Never Hurts

Reader/Max/Dieter series by @max--phillips

Max tries to skip his morning inspection, but gets caught breaking one of the rules you set for him anyway. A punishment is in order. / Max realizes a fantasy, and you enlist Dieter Bravo to help you deliver. / You receive a very hot video from your boyfriends while you are at work. The making of said video requires Max to break some rules you'd previously set out for him. He and Dieter make it up to you very easily.

Forced Feminization, but it's consensual, Femdom, Chastity Device 24/7, D/s dynamic, Sex Toys, BDSM, reader referred to as Mistress and Ma'am, Impact Play, Riding Crop, Bondage, Anal Fingering, Pegging, Butt Plugs, Degradation, Deepthroating, face fucking, gagging, spit, ruined orgasm, Nipple Clamps, Cum Play, Cum Eating, Oral Sex, Aftercare, there is NO misgendering, Max's ass does get referred to as his pussy and his dick his clit, but that's as far as that goes, MMF, threesome, PIV, double penetration, cock cages, ball gag, choking, max is a vampire, blow jobs, sex tapes, cum swapping, rule negotiations, fluff

Reflective

series by @prolix-yuy

His management style is effective AND refreshing. And as his executive assistant, you’re partially to thank. But as your professional relationship blurs, are you getting too close to the middle manager monster of nightmares?

horror elements and themes, graphic descriptions of blood including drinking, background character un-death, violence, fingering (f-receiving), vomiting (not descriptive), descriptions of a panic attack, a dabble of sleazy coworkers, playing fast and loose with vampire lore. mirror shenanigans, fingering (f-receiving), oral sex (f-receiving), PiV sex (don’t be a fool wrap your tool), playing fast and loose with vampire lore.

Lust for a vampire

one shot by @idolatrybarbie

A lot of oddballs and strange characters visit a vampire strip club in a tourist town on the border. Max Phillips is unlike any of them.

Smut, mentioned drug use, background sex work, dubcon, supernatural stalking, blood, pussy slapping, orgasm denial, spit, physical altercation, vaginal fingering, pet names (sweet thing, honey, sweetheart)

The Impaler

Tim Rockford/Max/Reader one shot by @kiwisbell

Chief Detective Tim Rockford makes a breakthrough in New York City’s latest serial killer case. The mysterious culprit is in the mood to share more than information.

vampires, gothic architecture, slightly dubious consent, implied mind alteration/control, murder, death, blood, threesome, lots of biting, spanking, spitroasting, masturbation, DVP, fingering, unprotected PIV (wrap ur vampire dicks pls), wife sharing, free use kink, oral sex (f and m receiving), exchanging fluids, spitting, disgusting and filthy, max using cringey nicknames for reader’s pussy but it’s charming bc it’s max, handcuffs, light bondage, hair pulling

I cannot get you close enough

one shot by @leslie-lyman

“You have to invite me in, sweetheart.” Oh. Right. Vampire. “Come in, please,” you say demurely, and Max’s smile widens as he steps over the threshold into your apartment. He reaches for you again immediately, kicking your door closed and pulling you close. “Good girl,” he murmurs. “Such a polite little Omega.”

A/B/O dynamics; one small scene of men being creepy and threatening towards reader (but, perhaps surprisingly, one of those men is not Max); extremely self-indulgent Halloween costumes on the part of your author; a bit of angst; fEeLiNgS; absolutely way too much plot and character backstory for what was supposed to just be porn; Alpha!Max is his own warning; heat sex; biting; blood-drinking; breeding kink; many, many creampies; Max has an absolutely filthy mouth; look, it’s heat sex with Max, it probably (hopefully?) entails exactly what you think it does

All Mouth

one shot by @idolatrybarbie

max phillips and prompt no. nine— "you look so pretty like this." with a twist!

reader is not American/not an "American vampire", porn with mild plot, pet names (honey, baby, sweetie, Maxxie), all the usual vampire genre warnings, including but not limited to - graphic blood and gore, cannibalism, mention of scars, horror themes, love as consumption, smut - mommy kink, degradation (max gets called a slut), cock slapping, dacryphilia, orgasm denial, handjob, alcohol mention, fluff.

It Will Come Back

Max Phillips one shot by @beskarandblasters

Against your better judgment, you let Max drink your blood.

reader is able-bodied, blood sucking, unhealthy dynamic between Max and reader, fingering, vaginal sex, unprotected sex, creampie, pet names (baby), dark ending kinda???, idk maybe a little out of character for him but fuck it we ball, no use of y/n

Crawl

one shot by @proxima-writes

Gym owner Max Phillips offers to let you use the sauna. In return, he uses your mouth.

explicit sexual content (18+ MDNI), no use of y/n, able bodied reader, dirty talk, crawling, oral (m receiving), no aftercare, semi-public sex.

Happy Reading!

[thrawns-backrest]

Prompted by this post and the related interview, reason 15467352 why I think Dave Felony isn’t up to the task of writing live action Star Wars.

I was going to harp about how this proves Filoni hasn’t read the books but this interview is from before the canon trilogies were out so touché on that. And yet this just proves to me why Filoni isn’t the guy for the job of writing Thrawn. Or any live action imperials for that matter.

I’ll start by saying that one thing I will concede is that the notion of the Imperial military being plagued by incompetent officers is not entirely unrealistic. Given that it’s a stratocracy, you can expect to find people who used politics to climb the ranks rather than actual military competence - it’s a kind of French Revolution situation kind of thing. Historically it’s been known to happen in our world.

Combine that with the fact that the Empire is racist, elitist and (kind of) sexist as all hell and you have a limited pool of people to pick from when filling its ranks, pushing some genuine talent to the fringes or excluding it altogether.

The thing I’m entirely tired of seeing though is the implication that it’s the majority of Imperial leadership that’s like this and by this I mean incompetent. The overwhelming majority at that. But more on the Empire’s moronicity later, let’s talk about Thrawn.

“He’s not ambitious in the way where he needs to see himself promoted, or a governor one day. He purely wants to dissect them; that’s what he enjoys!” This. This grinds my gears so much. For starters it proves that Filoni sees Thrawn as this ‘quirky baddie’ where Zahn treats him as an actual person. There’s something almost condescending in taking a neurodivergent coded character and being like ‘aww, look at them, they’re so happy doing their little thing they don’t have any other goals and ambitions whatsoever :)’.

To get things straight, Thrawn has always been annoyed by the limitations placed on him by an inferior rank. You could argue it’s for the simple reason that a higher rank gives him more freedom to act and pursue his goals but that’s just what that is, a simplification.

And that’s where Filoni’s problem lies:

Filoni is good at writing cartoons. And before people raise their pitchforks, I don’t mean this in a negative way. Writing cartoons forces you to squish complex ideas into a digestible format, the genre needs simplification and caricature to work and doing that well is a talent all by itself.

You’re meant to put in some extra effort to suspend your disbelief in order to enjoy the deeper complexities of the story. Where that stops working though is when you step out of the genre and move into live action and our good buddy Dave doesn’t seem to realize that.

It may admittedly sound like I’m being unnecessarily harsh on him and I probably am but I do realize the guy is just doing what he does best. I doubt he has any real beef with neurodivergents or has no actual clue that militaries need a base level of competence in order to function and thrive.

Neither is he the only one guilty of implying the Empire’s competent staff can be counted on the fingers of one hand. “It’s just so different for them to have a bad guy that’s, you know, actually smart with how he uses the Imperial war machine!” Okay, Dave. Sure Dave. “[…] with the exception of Tarkin – Tarkin’s strategically intelligent” Oh so there’s two of them! (okay okay, I’ll stop here)

My point is, you can’t get away with making the antagonists so stupid in a realistic setting. I recently saw someone compare Kenobi and Andor in terms of portraying your antagonists correctly and I have to agree that Andor is the only star wars live action media in recent memory that gets it right. (Though even Andor is guilty of injecting some stupid into its plot in order to enable implausible events to happen. I’m looking at you, Maarva’s speech.)

Because the thing is, the more bumbling and idiotic you make your antagonists, the more it detracts from the efforts and skills of your protagonists when defeating them. The Empire is sprawling and all powerful, so much so that it takes several force users pulling deus ex machinas out of their ass to bring it down. In conjunction with the extreme dedicated efforts of the Rebellion mind you.

It took a timely coincidence of hubris, political corruption and flawed strategy working together to allow it to happen. Give me media that explores why the Empire endured for so long, the mechanisms in place that made ordinary people turn into cogs of the machine, the selective process behind constructing an absolutely ruthless, dangerous leadership, media that looks at how these same conditions can come about in our world rather than the unrealistic explanation of ‘people bad because bad’.

Zahn, Gilroy, Luceno and many others are examples of writers that do this justice. Pass the baton on to Filoni and you end up with an antagonist who’s smart as an exception because ‘he’s just so quirky’ while still bearing all the hallmarks of a cartoon villain, the ominous gloating speeches and sadistic behaviour and whatnot.

I’d be hella remiss to say it hasn’t left its mark on the fandom either. The amount of times I’ve seen characters like Tarkin, Krennic, Palpatine, etc. be moronified (while Thrawn inevitably gets his victim treatment) while completely ignoring the fact that defeating them was no small feat and their having weaknesses to exploit isn’t something that detracts from just how dangerous and scary these motherfuckers were.

The Clone Wars was a good show. Rebels was a good show. But by god is Filoni bad at transferring his skills to live action and no one can convince me that Thrawn isn’t the best example of that.

[ghostlychief]

Star Pupil

Request: Hello!!! Hope you have an amazing birthday. Can I please request a Ghost x fem!reader where Ghost is training a bunch of rookies, but they dont really take training seriously. Like ik it sounds very unrealistic as the battleground is very dangerous but yk- so like theese recruits are like, not trying or just rolling their eyes behind Ghosts back(ofc he notices) but reader catches Ghosts eyes bc she is the only one who is actually trying(and the only female among them) and taking the training seriously and he sometimes sees her training in her free time. Just wnated to know how he would react about this :33Feel free to ignore, and also HAPPY BIRTHDAY ONCE AGAIN <3

AN: HELLO this is so much later than when you requested (sorry lol) but i hope you enjoy what i threw together <33333 THIS WAS SO FUN TO WRITE!! hope you take care hon, and thanks for the birthday wishes when you originally sent this in!!!!! - Lee

--

Oneshot: Simon “Ghost” Riley x fem!reader

warnings: none, cursing? it’s really just fluff

summary: you are a new recruit for the organization that squad force 141 is under. what happens when you are seemingly the only recruit that takes her training seriously, but also develops a crush on your instructor?

wc: 1.4k+ (this really turned into a whole thing huh)

enjoy!!!!

--

Ghost should have known that a class of new recruits would be difficult to teach.

Hell, all of them were male, expect for one person who was a woman. The fact that the class was 99% male didn’t surprise him when the first day of teaching went to complete shit.

No one was listening to his instructions and he didn’t even know how most of these men qualified to even be here, training under him. They were unruly, constantly talking when he was giving instructions and in even some instances, they would mock and roll their eyes at Ghost when his back was turned.

The recruits were just lucky he didn’t see them mocking him, otherwise it would be a completely different story, and all those who participated would be packing their bags to go home.

It was a blow to his ego.

Did they not know what a unique opportunity this was? To be training with a member of the infamous squad 141?

141 was the best in the game, the best team out there to accomplish complex covert mission after mission. No one else had the skill set or the discipline to be as good as they are.

So, why the fuck was the next generation of the organization being such dipshits?

Much not to Ghost’s surprise, the sole recruit that was taking training seriously was the woman recruit.

After the first week, Ghost found himself looking up your file, wanting to know more about his star pupil. He figured you were around the same age as the other recruits, but it turned out that you were around his age, although a few years younger. You also had some field work under your belt. That must be why she seems so much more competent that her peers, Ghost thinks.

Before you were recruited to squad 141, you spent your late teens and early twenties going to a prestigious military school, specializing in military strategy and combat. Afterwards you joined an organization specializing in oversee operations. You also had a special skill in archery and close quarters combat, specifically knife play.

He was impressed to say the least.

He also couldn’t ignore the fact that he thought you were pretty. His teammates teased him relentlessly when they saw him, catching onto his schoolboy crush.

“Hey Ghost, how’s your star pupil?”

“Do you make all the other recruits run more laps than her?”

All of these stupid questions came with a smirk and at least one laugh from another team member. Ghost kept his cool though, he didn’t want to give them any more ammo to hit him with. Somehow these bastards found out I have a crush on her, bloody hell.

He didn’t even think he was being that obvious. However, when sifting through his memories, he realized he did talk about you a lot, especially after a drink or two. But who could blame him? You were at the top of your class, and outshone your pupils so easily. It was hard not to brag about you to 141.

You impressed him further when he spotted you training by yourself, during your precious free time. Typically, new recruits had a rigorous schedule, so any free time granted was special, not the be taken for granted. Most people took naps, drank, or simply lazed around with their friends during this time. However, you continued to amaze him at your dedication to be the best at your job.

He figured out your schedule so sometimes he would find himself trailing behind you (without your knowledge of course), and watch some of your solo training sessions. He wasn’t trying to be creepy, he just wanted to see what you focused on when you trained alone.

The next time he had training with your cohort, he found himself giving you specific pointers based on what he saw during your unaided training sessions.

As astounded he was by you, he never deliberately approached you, never singled you out. Apart from his tips here and there, he treated you like all the other recruits. Although he harbored a burrowing, yet growing crush for you, he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.

--

Sooner than later your graduation came. Now you were no longer a measly recruit but a major, you were someone with ranks. You were proud to say the least, and little did you know, your instructor was just as proud, maybe even more so than yourself.

When you were on the way back to your dorms, you noticed Ghost leaning against the door to the hallway. You tried to suppress the warmness that threatened to spread onto your cheeks, so you looked down, hoping he doesn’t notice you.

All throughout your training you tried your best not to make it apparent about the crush you had on Ghost. You really tried your hardest to solely focus on the task at hand; which was, training. Sometimes, to distract yourself even further from him, you would spend your free time alone, training even more. The exercise helped quell your racing heart and aching bones that longed for a certain 6’4 lieutenant.

The enigma behind him was all the more intriguing. You could only see half his face, who wouldn’t be interested to learn more? You were dying to know what he looking like with his balaclava removed. You wondered if he had a mustache, or any facial hair for that matter that was hidden by the mask.

Did he have dimples? A freckle or two on his chin, near his mouth? What did his lips look like? Were they thin, thick? You just had so many questions sparked by your new found crush on him.

You were shocked and a little frazzled when your tactic didn’t work, because right as you’re about to past Ghost, he gingerly places a hand on your bicep, and says your name.

Now that you think about it, this was the first time he called you by your name, all other times he referred to you as Recruit 139.

For a man who’s skilled in killing people, he had such a gentle hold on you, not at all imposing. Your heartbeat picked up and when you glanced up at him, it raced even more.

“Hm? Oh, hi Lieutenant.” You slightly bowed even though his hand was still on you, the warmth sizzling through your shirt and seemingly marking your skin.

Before he could get a word in edge wise, you said hurriedly, “I just want to say thank you for being such a great instructor. You really motivated me to perform my best and try my hardest. So, again thank you.”

You found yourself slightly bowing again. Why do I keep doing that?

Too caught up in your own embarrassment of being around Ghost, you failed to notice the curve of his lips upturn under his balaclava, obviously endeared by you.

He removes his hand from your arm, and says, “No need to thank me, I mean you practically did all the work yourself. You were clearly more driven than your peers, along with all those training sessions you did during your free time-

“Wait what?”

When you look back up at Ghost you see that his eyes have widened. “How do you know I train by myself?”

Ghost lets out a chuckle in the form of a sigh, “I just saw you by accident a few times, wasn’t stalking or anything.” He holds up his hands as if to confirm.

“Ah, is that why you gave me suspiciously specific pointers during training sessions? I thought you were reading my mind!”

This time he grants you a full laugh, “No, no minding reading here.”

He takes a step towards you, and you automatically take a half step back, not used to being so close to the lieutenant.

“Anyways, what I wanted to originally ask you was, do you want to go out for celebratory drinks? You are my star pupil after all. Well, no longer a pupil, but a colleague.”

You tried to hide your awe. Is he really asking me to go get drinks?

You’re about to reject, when you realize that this is your chance and like he said, you are no longer a student of his, but rather a colleague.

You pretend to ponder his request, bringing a finger to rub your chin and grant him a sweet smile. “Hmm, are first rounds on you?”

Though, he sees right through your act.

You hear him cough, as if suppress another laugh, and then he says, “Of course. That would just be rude if it wasn’t, hm?”

Your smile widens, and Ghost thinks he may pass out, “You’re damn right.”

--

Simon “Ghost” Riley Masterlist

[mixelation]

thoughts on minato's comically high body count:

a lot of reddit bros are like "that's unrealistic" or "actually according to [made up sources] it was way less--" i think this is less fun. i enjoy the hilariousness AND the horror it implies

i don't think minato is either proud or ashamed of it. it simply is what it is. like i don't think he'd ever brag but also he absolutely doesn't feel bad about it

i don't think he enjoys murder but he is more flippant of it than most ninja, and definitely more callous than his friendly personality would imply. enemy ninja? could kill them and not even think about it a minute later. random people not on his side but caught up in the crossfires? he'll avoid it if he can, but he also won't lose a wink of sleep over it. fire country citizens? in theory he's meant to protect them so he will, and he's not going to outright kill any of them himself, but like.... he doesn't actually super care. konoha ninja under his command? he tries his best to prevent death but he also won't really lose sleep over it. this man loves his family and then like three other people and he's not shedding a tear for anyone else

people being afraid of him can get SUPER awkward though. like he still wants to be social and friendly :( please stop screaming :(

kushina similarly just doesn't give it much weight. minato being hyper competent is hot, and she thinks the flee on sight order is funny, but she doesn't actually care about the numbers. get over it???

[m1ckeyb3rry]

Nagi's butt.

you know this is only tangentially related but it reminded me that something i’ve always found funny is that everyone finds it super unrealistic that nagi has really defined muscles but based on what we know about him it actually makes sense for him to look that way because muscle DEFINITION is more related to body fat percentage than anything. so like that’s why body builders go on cycles of bulking/cutting and why they’re often very hefty looking most of the time — in order to build muscle at that pace, you have to eat a shit ton of food or else your body will actually burn your muscles for energy as well as fat, so they’ll bulk in order to have enough calories to lift heavy, and then when they want to look aesthetic (ex for competitions) they’ll cut their food intake so that their body fat percentage rapidly drops and the muscles that they’ve built become visible!! this is especially true for abs LMAOO back in high school my best friend competed in gymnastics nationally and also rode horses but she never had incredibly visible abs. meanwhile my younger brother literally just runs cross country and his abs are crazy despite the fact that he never trains them but it’s literally because his body fat percentage is so low that they’re always visible — this is why exercises designed to target your abs to make your waist narrower or give you a six pack do not really work and are the cause of many people giving up on exercising (although i always say health benefits >>> aesthetics but eh everyone has their reasons)

anyways so given nagi’s general dissatisfaction with eating he probably has a CRAZY low body fat percentage (likely too low to even maintain his body weight until reo/bllk/chris prince intervened) which means whatever muscles he does have will be incredibly visible as there’s literally nothing to cover them. this is actually kinda evident in the earlier parts of the manga — if you compare second selection-era nagi with, say, reo, zantetsu, or karasu (since i know off the top of my head that we have shirtless panels of all three of them either from the main manga or epinagi and they’re in a similar height range — isagi/chigiri are much smaller so they don’t serve as good comparisons and kunigami/barou are on a diff level entirely LMAOO) at around the same time, you’ll see that each individual muscle of nagi’s is more defined, but all three of the formerly mentioned characters are broader and have bigger chests/biceps/thighs than nagi does as they all likely eat more than he does in a day. this difference is mitigated as the series goes on and nagi is probably forced to gets a better nutrition plan as well as exercises a lot more but uhhh yeah. actually idrk what the point of all of that was pretend i said smth profound 😭

ANWAYS yeah he def gets his squat reps in 🙂‍↕️ he looks so good in the manshine kit that i can almost forgive the british for everything they’ve done to my ancestors

[technocite]

Finding a 1999 fanfiction with a fun premise but opening it and the author delegated Quincy to ‘flat aggressive asshole’ archetype is like biting into a sandwich and finding a rotten piece of cheese in it. It just clashes with my own own interpretation of him because he seems so much cooler than that and one of the reasons I like him as a character is that he very clearly has flaws but his flaws are not what is being depicted and it’s like. Ripping my hair out.

Quincy reads to me as a man who holds himself and his peers to extremely high standards (sometimes unrealistically so) because he understands that you have to be the best of the best to get into the position and skillset and situation they are in and recognizes the others in his team as extraordinarily competent and exceptional individuals and is perpetually frustrated that they don’t seem to rise to the occasion like he thinks they should (which is not as realistic as he thinks because everyone is still human and in an extremely high stress situation and dealing with the reality of effectively living in an infested war zone and being acutely aware of their body horror transformations into warframes and so on. Like he’s going through this shit too but he’s doing a better job at repressing and hiding it so they should be too and they’re not and it’s driving him up a wall.)

So like, yeah, no duh, everyone’s not going to be at their best and totally put together emotionally/psychologically and also he’s in denial that he’s also struggling himself, because that would be admitting vulnerability and that he was Wrong about his take on the situation. And I think that’s the real root of his issue with “respect” (he feels the others don’t respect him, he doesn’t respect them back, it’s a vicious cycle) and his alienation from the team and I can see how a big part of his character arc involves putting his pride to the side and allowing himself to be vulnerable with the others and being more forgiving given the circumstances because at the end of the day deep down he DOES like the rest of the Hex! He holds them to high standards because he genuinely thinks they’re capable of great things! He really wants them to like him back! But it’s all wrapped under this matryoshka doll of ego-defensive coping mechanisms and learned bravado and also made one billion times worse by the helminth infection. He could be such a cool character. I want to grab people by the shoulders and shake them because like this could be so much much much more interesting and cool than what you’re putting out why limit yourself by ingrained societal perceptions and unexamined racism and shittt. If you’re going to depict Quincy as an asshole at least have an understanding of why he is that way. At least do a little bit of character analysis and work from what we’ve got. I promise it’s really really fun. Take my hand we can do critical character analysis together

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Would you call Adrien “Gary Stu”?

Overuse of the terms "Gary Stu", "Gary Sue", and "Mary Sue" has created a bit of a semantic shift, turning a very specific concept into a catch-all pejorative for characters people don't like, but that the source property portrays positively. Because of this, let's start by going over the the actual definition of what it means to be a Gary/Mary Sue:

The Mary Sue is a character archetype in fiction, usually a young woman, who is often portrayed as inexplicably competent across all domains, gifted with unique talents or powers, liked or respected by most other characters, unrealistically free of weaknesses, extremely attractive, innately virtuous, and generally lacking meaningful character flaws. Usually female and almost always the main character, a Mary Sue is often an author's idealized self-insertion, and may serve as a form of wish fulfillment. Mary Sue stories are often written by adolescent authors. Originating from fan fiction, the term Mary Sue was coined by Paula Smith in the 1973 parody short story "A Trekkie's Tale", as the name of a character standing in for idealized female characters widespread in Star Trek fan fiction.

Zoe is the only character in Miraculous that fits the archetype of a Mary/Gary Sue. Adrien and Marinette are just poorly written non-sueish characters who get slapped with these labels under that general pejorative issue I was talking about before.

Adrien is talented in many areas, but he's implied to have been training in them since he was a child, so those talents are earned. Same goes for Marinette. Her skills may be overblown for her age, but that's normal for shows aimed at kids and it's not like she just started sewing yesterday.

Whether or not the story wants to address them, Adrien has legitimate character flaws and he's certainly not portrayed an "inexplicable competent." The show has gone out of its way to portray Adrien as weak and incapable of facing his father, things that would never happen for a Gary Sue. I don't think anyone looks at Adrien and wants to be him, but that's basically a defining trait of the Gary/Mary Sue!

If you want my two cents as to why we've seen a semantic shift in these terms, it's because of the feelings evoked by the characters. When a character has flaws that aren't addressed (Adrien) or gets roles that really should go to other characters because the writers are obsessed with them for some reason (Marinette), that can be extremely aggravating in the same way idealized self-inserts can be aggravating when you're looking for a more realistic character. However, the feelings being the same doesn't mean that the issue is the same. Adrien and Marinette are well designed characters that could be used to tell a story without any major changes. If you want to tell a story with Zoe where she reads as something other than an idealized self-insert fantasy, then you have to change her character. You can't work with the core version because Zoe is just a collection of cool skills with no flaws or depth.

(Quick reminder that Mary/Gary Sues are FINE!!! They have real value and are popular in many genres. I will defend them even though I rarely enjoy stories that feature them. Zoe being a Mary Sue is only a problem because Miraculous' story is ill suited to a Mary Sue.)

[dayslynthesix]

grandiosity doesn't win championships.

ferrari could be the biggest f1 team, the most successful one, the most famous, the most victorious in history, but that's in the past.

today, ferrari is a joke.

plain and simple.

it's not about ferrari not being capable of building a winning car, they can. we saw that earlier 2022. is the fact that they don't know how to build a winning team, and that's a shame. it's nothing switching team principals every once in a while, it's nothing putting good drivers to drive good cars when the team is broken.

it takes more than a winning car and a winning driver to win a championship. it takes a winning team, a winning mentality.

grandiosity doesn't win championships, competence does.

i know the dream: to be the driver who will finally win with ferrari. it's beautiful, but it's unrealistic. alonso thought he could do it, ferrari failed him. vettel thought he could do it, ferrari failed him. leclerc, their il predestinado, thought he could do it, ferrari failed him. hamilton probably think he will be able to do it, but ferrari will most likely fails him as well.

again, and again, and again.

in order to be world champion dreaming and waiting it is not enough. alonso, vettell, massa, leclerc, all of them wanted, all of them dreamed, and it wasn't enough.

the 2024 season is a eternal was flashback of the 2022 season, fred vasseur is exactly like mattia binotto, the problem was never just the team principal, the problem is way deeper than just the team principal. is the full team. is the bigger ones. they renewed leclerc's contract promising him a winning car, they keep promising him a championship they know they're not able to give him. vasseur keeps blaming their drivers as if we can't see the races, hear the radios, we know it's not on them. we know it's on the team. and there's no one taking responsibility for another failure of the team.

the dream to win with ferrari is beautiful, but it's just that: a dream.

and a note for that: i trust charles, i trust his instincts, i trust he know what is best for him! i don't trust ferrari. i haven't in a while. and i think ferrari doesn't trust themselves as well. their on that eternal stage of "we are developing", it's been 15 years. they went no where with their development. forza charles sempre. but i don't have anymore forza ferrari in me.

[ducktracy]

What are your opinions on Looney Tunes: Back in Action? I personally have a soft spot for the movie nostalgia or not, plus it was my introduction to the Looney Tunes so I'll always love it for that.

I'M DUE FOR A REWATCH! i'd like to give it a fair shake, because i think the last time i saw it was in 2021. i unfortunately am not the biggest fan :((((((((( my stance on the LT movies i think is "i prefer Space Jam [the original] over BiA while acknowledging that BiA is superior to Space Jam in every way".

BiA is not an exhaustive shoe commercial, so that helps immensely. it's clear that it was made by fans of the shorts and there are a lot of deep cut cameos that i really value and appreciate. i think part of my aversion stems from my contrarianism that i've been able to curb PRETTY well in the past few years, but being a child of the early '00s, i grew up surrounded by the Corporate Chuck Jones LT aesthetic and BiA is the pinnacle of that to me--i naturally have an aversion to that style and i've been good at overcoming it (i now love Joe Alaskey as Daffy, but it took me a long time for this to be the case), but BiA falls into so many of the trappings of that era that i really just don't like. stuff like acting like The Hunting Trilogy shorts are the only LT shorts ever made

i also have a hard time taking it seriously, and that is a problem because i felt that this film often tries to get you to take it seriously and i just can't. i said this last year and still stand by it in discussing its "Hollywood pathos":

I THINK PART OF IT ALSO IS LIKE. again. unrealistic contrarianism. sorry but if Daffy Duck were thrust in my lap and i had to go on a wacky road trip with him i would be ECASTATIC. i hate how he's treated as like "uhhhhhh only people who live in their mom's basement like you as a character lol because you suck and are mean and rude!!!!", and i know he's trying to prove otherwise etc but i'm just soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo tired and averse to that narrative. Bugs is amazing Daffy sucks yahoo yippee. it feels like they missed the intent of the originals in that Daffy Does Not Actually Suck and is in some cases exhaustively more competent than Bugs, but he's just so quick to be foiled by his own impulses and vices.

most of my critiques against the movie are moreso in regards to my tastes rather than an indication of its objective quality. i do wish other characters got more screen-time, i think i would like it more... i'm not the biggest fan of the Bugs and Daffy cartoons because they enable a lot of my aforementioned gripes. i've slowly been able to turn around on them and even love shorts like Rabbit Seasoning! but their dynamic always runs into the same trappings and i get rubbed very raw by those trappings. what i want from Bugs and what i want from Daffy, i don't get out of either of them at all when they're paired together. and so i'm obviously not going to like an entire movie centered on that dynamic

i do want to give it another shake though because i may be able to appreciate it more now or, at the very least, be able to suspend my reservations more. but it's just not for me. which is a shame! because, kind of like TLTS, i've tried many times and seen it multiple times to try and understand and see what other people see in it but i just can't. the curse of being too protective of the duck

[cambrioleur]

In the interest of making this blog a bit more intelligent and less of a collection of dumb memes, here's an actual "hot take" that I have...

Ben is likable but he's also jaw-droppingly underdeveloped in the official canon of the show. Basically he's what TV Tropes terms a Satellite Character, in that he's almost always shown in the context of his interactions with other characters, with these scenes being from their viewpoint and not his. He never gets a real arc or storyline of his own: Claire and Guédira are consistently the central POV figures of the assorted B and C plots, while Ben appears in the A plots but in an exclusively supporting role.

The show actually DOES have opportunities to expand on his character a bit more but for whatever reason it never takes advantage of them. You'd think that Ben getting sold out by Assane and tossed in prison would have been a perfect candidate for this, but he appears in like three scenes in the last few episodes of Part 3, with these once again being mainly from the perspectives of Guédira, Claire, and Assane (not to mention that the audience still doesn't know exactly how he sustained all those injuries).

An additional issue is that so far, Ben hasn't had any meaningful conflict in his relationship with Assane, which seems unrealistic given what an utter mess Assane is a lot of the time. Claire has the obvious conflict of desperately wanting her relationship with Assane to work but being let down by him over and over again, and also having to deal with how his antics are negatively affecting their son. Guédira is an Assane Diop stan while also being a police officer who's supposed to be trying to jail him, which is a comedic conflict but it's a conflict nonetheless. We never get any of that with Assane and Ben; their friendship is fun but it's weirdly smooth-sailing. We don't know if they can survive the kind of turmoil that arises between Assane and Claire on a regular basis, because up until Ben gets thrown to the wolves at the gala, he's never been on the receiving end of Assane's dishonesty and erratic behavior. (This is why I actually think that the betrayal was a good narrative choice.)

So Ben's characterization is that he's the technically-competent friend who's also a loyal, solid dude...and that's it. We don't really know who he is in the same way that we know who Assane, Claire, and Guédira are. And the result is that the fans can project pretty much whatever they want onto him. If they want to say he's in love with Assane, fine, because there's nothing canonical that obviously confirms or refutes it. (In contrast I think it's fair to say that any notion of Assane reciprocating these potential affections is 100% fanon; the showrunners clearly view him as someone who can charm anyone he wants to while also being completely heterosexual, although one could argue that they're attempting to have their cake and eat it too.) The same is true if they want to say that Ben is in love with Claire, which is a theory that I've seen crop up a few times. My own opinion is that he's probably aroace or something along those lines, but at the same time I find the interpretation that he loves Assane to be plausible enough, although I have absolutely no emotional investment in it.

Anyway, bottom line...Ben's character should be developed more. Also I personally think he should turn on Assane. But that's just me.