#i want people to actively judge it
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Visit Tumblr Blog
Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
When “GIF” was named word of the year in 2012, Oxford Dictionaries U.S.A. credited Tumblr for pushing the word.
Text
i saw this absolute shitbox of a car earlier and went with my whole heart ‘i want that’ and my mother was like what the fuck is wrong with you
like. when i pass my driving test i probably wont get a car because if i move for uni next year i likely wont Need it but. if my car isnt giving michael mell. stiles stilinski even. then whats the point
#i want people to actively judge it#so i can defend it with My Life#that is the DREAM#i dont hate driving so much anymore#half because i passed my theory so i feel like a fucking genius#but also#the concept#of taking my little shitty car everywhere?#exciting
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Something I realized (which was obvious to me subconsciously) is that... The family that vehemently didn't accept me when I first came out but now do accept me are still the same family that I am most unwilling to be open about things I feel protective over.
I remember that my dad reacted so poorly, not to my coming out, but to my transition specifically that my therapist was the one to ask if I wanted to put it on my file that I wanted nothing to ever be shared with him about my health after I broke down multiple times due to my anxiety that I would never transition. While there are and were protections for me, I was incredibly fearful at the time because I was a minor, and I was so worried that he would have prevented my transition that I couldn't have said for certain what (if any) lengths he would have gone to to prevent that.
He's grown a lot as a person, and made some commendable strides. But he didn't find out from me when I medically transitioned the second I turned eighteen, and I think that's among the things that truly made him realize the scope of the issue.
I'm not here to guilt trip parents, guardians, or other members responsible for the care of the children or teens or young adults in their care.... but this is a cautionary tale. You aren't saving the people in your care when you do this, you simply reinforce an idea that you will never care for them, never want them as they are, would rather them be shoved away.
When you give people reasons to be secretive, they will behave secretively. When you give people reasons to doubt their safety around you, they will become sneaky, defensive, and withdrawn. When you give people reasons to doubt that you value their life, they will believe that you don't care if they live or not.
#queer#lgbt#lgbtq#ally advice#transphobia#transphobia tw#i always feel the need to preface that i have a rebuilt relationship with my dad specifically...#...but that my experiences with them have served to me in many ways to illustrate... well... what NOT to do if you are in his situation#i do still grieve that my relationship with him looks very scarred and that it took a long time to get to where he is now#but i recognize that in many ways this is a product of the world and culture we live in and that he lived in#in a world he grew up gay was used as a slur. would i expect that trans people would be treated better?#and he was responsible for how he reacted but also... it's nuanced as to why he reacted so poorly#and i want people to AVOID being like he did if they EVER want a decent relationship with the other person#i want this to be a cautionary tale and that my ending is unique. not all of us are even ABLE to repair a relationship that was THAT broken#some of us die trying. some of us never get closure. some of us are in active danger because of those reactions#and that's the more common reality i have found. most other queer people have no-contact with families who pulled the shit my dad had...#...and that's - frankly - a good idea in 99.9% of cases. i will never judge someone for the way they go about dealing with that#i'm just emphasizing that i am unique in the sense that i was able to somewhat repair that
125 notes
·
View notes
Text
Okay but also because I'm a pedantic bitch...in relation to that post I just reblogged explaining part of gay-on-gay bigotry...what if some people are just assholes who happen to be gay, or bi or trans? And they're all for oppression or just plain cruelty as long as it's aimed at other people? Like that's also something to consider.
I don't actually think, any longer, that "internalized self-hate projected outward and also suppressed envy for someone who's doing and being all the things you were convinced into not allowing yourself" is...all there is to this phenonemon. And I wish we'd stop fixating on that quite so much just because we want to be frankly, nicer than some of these people have ever deserved. It's always more satisfying on some level, to imagine your enemies as Tortured deep inside (whether it's because you feel a bit malicious or you just want to believe that there's a way to reach out and heal them with kindness.) than to admit that Sometimes They're Just a Shithead.
Now, do I think that complex can be a big part of it? Oh yeah. And of COURSE, different people have different motivations in different amounts and yadda yadda yadda. No group of people, ethnic, gender, political or otherwise is a Monolith. (For one thing, when it comes to these Pick-Me Gay/Trans pundits and Influencers, money and clout should never be left out as an explanation. Just saying.) But that's the point, isn't it? Any ONE explanation can't explain them all completely.
Tbh, I think we need to consider some people are just bullies who happened to be born not cis or straight. And even if they were bullied at one point for their identity, they learned absolutely nothing from the experience except Don't Be On the Social Reject Side. So they moved their thinking just enough that "woman who likes women" "man who likes men" "I just happened o want to be a woman instead, or a man instead despite how I was born" could be put in the Safe category and they fight for that. Everyone else though, is still fair game and even a fair target. Some people don't just want power to escape oppression and live their lives in peace, they WANT to BE the ones oppressing. Like, do we ACTUALLY understand that LGBT people are humans too and that that includes the bad side?
It tracks a lot better too, when you consider that a lot of people like the masc4masc gays are openly racist and fatphobic. "No fems" Yes but also "No fats. No Asians." Christ, I could think of countless examples of white thin (and sometimes but not necessary cis) queer people doing that sort of thing. I'm sure y'all can too. This idea of some poor lost soul Tormented by Self Hate and Envy of the Freedom of Others doesn't do shit to explain that. Like, even if the two things coexist and they can, it doesn't explain that part.
I honestly just think the uglier but more accurate truth is that lot of queer people aren't all Hashtag Gay or Trans Rights or aren't Liberal out of any sense of justice AT ALL but only self-interest. Being an activist because you're a member of an oppressed group is like, entirely normal and fine of course BUT it becomes real clear when someone's framework of ethics and politics is PURELY "I think me (and people I personally like and approve of) being oppressed is bad" and literally not one inch deeper.
You can tell because if it was deeper, why would they find it so easy to turn around to a fellow queer/trans person to jeer at and humiliate and throw them under the bus if they think they're a Deadweight to the group by being a Weirdo I Don't Want to Stand Next to, Eww...or if they just don't personally like them? Why have you clearly spent absolutely no time unpacking any of the prejudice and biases around gender sexuality (or GOD FORBID race) that society throws at you.. at least no more time than it takes to rationalize yourself out of the category of Should Be Destroyed and Oppressed?
We are not immune from this sort of terminally self-interested activism. I just feel like we'd get a lot further as a society, as a community, if sometimes our analysis of bullies and assholes didn't fixate on finding some deep pain and trauma inside them, to explain their actions in a way that makes them look more tortured and less malicious (even if we say, even mean, that it's not supposed to be an excuse). Sometimes people are just racist, or fatphobic. Sometimes lesbians or gay men or bi or trans people just want to be judgmental bullies too.
Sometimes the reality isn't Tragic Villain Backstory. Sometimes, its just a selfish, deeply pathetic person refusing to become any less, because it's easier not to; even if you had a unique chance to see how the other side lives, a chance your straight cis bully peers didn't get by virtue of their identities.
#(same mentality as women who think every abortion is evil besides theirs. Freedom for me not for thee#ppl act like that's so shocking I used to. But now I'm just like...well have we considered Selfishness?#these women only rationalized and unpacked enough to make an exception for themselves.#and then actively refused to learn a thing from the experience. They carried on being as misogynistic as ever#judging all other women and claiming pregnancy is an appropriate punishment for not doing Everything Right#(except when its me). you can tell by that. They just happen to be misogynists with self-interest#human beings have an AMAZING ability to do all kinds#of mental gymnastics to believe things that contradict each other#we're not rational creatures. Accept this now and many more things will make sense this is an order. ANYWAY)#plus imo this Self Loathing theory fails to explain that not every feminine woman or masculine man#hates their gender presentation? Like yeah a lot of the makeup and diet culture is awful but#there are always gonna be ppl who want to dress a certain way regardless of societal pressure#making it exponentially harder to detangle where your Genuine Wants end and that begins.#the downsides of being social animals. And I guess I just don't know who's served#by pretending that's not a thing. The older i get the more i think we need to be careful before#our honest attempts to explain why peoole fight for systems/things that cause them trouble turn into infantilization#it's very possible to turn condescending and infantilizing going all Oh People Don't Know What's Best For Them#They're All Brainwashed. Give oppressed people the agency to be assholes too#plus it just leaves these ppl the opportunity to go I Don't Hate Myself#lmao loser.' Whereas 'you're just an asshole who doesn't care about anyone but yourself getting hurt'#is while not something they might be swayed by or care about a lot harder to refute.#we can't always know what goes on in people's heads. Going by their actions is helpful tho
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
Uh-oh! You are like, SOOO awkward!!
You're so awkward that it is occasionally mildly uncomfortable for people!
You're so awkward that sometimes people are confused by you and then there are awkward silences!
You're so awkward ...... that ultimately no one is harmed!!
Oh damn!!! What a vile crime you have committed! What an unforgivable thing it is to make a fellow human briefly confused!
Why, if *I* were ever briefly confused and kind of uncomfortable as a result, I'd be devastated.... by the absolute net zero change in my happiness and health! - From which I might never recover!! Yes indeed! No punishment can ever be enough for you!!
So you better absolutely hate yourself for it.
Better be SO MEAN to yourself about every single missed social cue so you don't forget your horrible crime! Meaner than you'd ever dream of being to someone else for the same thing! This is YOUR responsibility!
You need to show the world that you KNOW you are bad by punishing yourself constantly! After all, think of all the people who BENEFIT from you punishing yourself! - No, really! Think about it! Think about who benefits from your pain.
Think of alllllll the definitely-good people that your definitely-necessary self-torment definitely helps! I mean, you can't just cut off their definitely-life-sustaining supply of your suffering, right?? Sure, everyone else has a breaking point, but you're probably the only person in human history who doesn't, right? Best not to question it probably. Sure, it's a symptom that billions of people with trauma have had, but who knows? You could be a one-in-seven-billion exception. Anything's possible!
Instead, better just accept that idea that bullies carry like guns in holsters - the idea that people who have trouble with social cues deserve to suffer. Better carry on the burden they placed on you until you drop. Aid the cause of the callous by enforcing shame and suffering upon yourself extra hard; try your best to do their work for them. They're very busy.
Better not recognize that you need patience and kindness to heal from your trauma. Better not find out that it was trauma rather than personal weakness filling your head with self-hating thoughts. Better not find out it wasn't your fault.
Better not find out that awkwardness is not inherently harmful or unkind, and, in fact, the people who act like it is *are the ones enacting harm and being cruel.*
Better not get righteously angry when you realize just how much unnecessary damage this has done to you. After all, if you get mad, you might realize you deserve better. You might even feel brave enough to DEMAND better! You might build boundaries that keep you safe! You might make other people think they deserve to feel safe too! And we obviously can't be having that, so...
Better not show yourself even a little kindness a little bit at a time.
Better not make a habit out of it after all that practice.
Better not get confident.
Especially if you can't first wipe out every trace of awkward. (And you probably never will. Because people who experience absolute social certainty at all times tend to be insufferable assholes that enforce the status quo. And you just don't have the stock portfolio for that.)
Better not be confident and awkward because then you might confuse and delight people
- you might accidentally end up making other people feel less shame for their social difficulties
- you might make isolated, traumatized, and shy people feel like they deserve to be included in social situations
- you might even make them feel they can be themselves around you
- you might start loving the effect you have on a room
- you might enjoy conversations more
- you might forgive yourself and bounce back from shame more easily and frequently
- you might come to enjoy some of those moments of harmless confusion you cause because NOBODY expects the Confident Awkward, and that can genuinely be an advantage in social situations
- you might stop apologizing so much.
- you might find that socializing is like a video game: it requires practice but also a safe space for it to be fun and positive.
Or if you can't become assertive and confident, better not remain awkward and shy and quiet, and then love and forgive yourself anyway!
Why, it would be carnage!!
In either scenario, you run the risk of finding out that it's not your fault that safe spaces full of kind people can be really hard to find, create, and nurture. You could end up building a skillset that helps you do those things if you're not careful!
If you start giving yourself even the tiniest amount of grace at a time, you will find that you've accessed a gateway drug with extreme long-term side effects:
- You might realize that it was never your fault that it took so long to like yourself.
- You might realize that you were always worth talking to, even when you didn't like yourself and communication felt impossibly difficult.
- You might realize that you'll still be worth talking to even if communication becomes harder as you age and/or experience disability.
- You might come to know that you deserve to be heard even on bad days when words come slow and blurry.
You might discover that you were always deserving of kindness, first and foremost from yourself.
So. As you can see, it's FAR too much of a risk to start granting your awkward self free pardons for your many heinous and harmless crimes. Better to just leave it there.
#social skills#i have a few posts now in my ' social skills' tag#original#maybe eventually I will compile them and polish them in some meaningful way. I know what I want to call the book title#in big text it'll say 'I'M AUTISTIC' and then beneath that in smaller text 'And I Have Better Social Skills Than You'#or something to that effect. and the cover of the book will be me making an exaggerated smug face like the little rascal I am#challenging the viewer to pick up the book and see if they can prove me wrong.#and then the entire first section of the book is about how actually the issue with our society's social skills is the harsh judgment#for people who have trouble communicating and not the other way around. I don't actually think I'm the#most charismatic person in the world by a very long shot. but i do know that I have put more thought into my social skills than#most allistic people and frankly i have surpassed most of them. not because i am more persuasive or smooth or funny#(tho i am persuasive and funny lol) but bc i have questioned which social functions are more restriction than utility.#and instead i have focused my energy on actively learning how to make people feel safe. i feel social rules would benefit all people by#being a little more autistic tyvm. i don't think every person should dedicate themselves to being better at communicating#i think people should dedicate themselves to being kind and patient to everyone regardless of their ability to communicate#I think our society wrongly links communication ability to intelligence and intelligence to level of humanity.#when in fact all three of those things are fucking unrelated and connecting them inevitably leads to#really fucked up views on disabled people that hurt us. and then with that aspect of the book firmly understood and established I would#go on to recommend some ways to make socializing easier and more fulfilling (and less shameful and terrifying) for all kinds of people#it wouldn't be a book about Leaning In To Succeed in Business or 'here's how to avoid being the awkward loner at a party'#it'd be a book about how if you see someone alone at a party here's how to invite them to join your group without pressuring them#stuff like 'hot tip! if someone takes a while to type or speak a full sentence - talking over them b4 they can finish makes u an asshole!'#I know that a lot of people cannot or don't want to dump a lot of skill points into socializing like i did and they shouldn't have to in#order to experience basic dignity and respect. if we treat people like that then we just validate that people - especially#autistic children and elders and disabled people of manu varieties - have to suffer unless they learn all these arbitrary bullshit rules#and a lot of them are arbitrary bullshit! one of the reasons I throw people off so much is because I harmlessly break a lot of social rules#but I know I'm doing it and I'm not ashamed and people just don't know what to do with that! but a lot of them like it actually!!#i think it's a relief to be around someone so openly and unrelentingly weird bc what am I gonna do? judge you for being weird??#I only care if you're kind. not necessarily 'nice' or passive. Kind. Brave enough to care about people being treated well. Kind.#also I recognize that at least some of my ability to be openly weird is white privilege so that's important to acknowledge too
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
Billford isnt canon in a literal Sincere Authorial Intent sense, y'all 😭😭😭 please get better standards for how much creators need to include in order for something to be considered officially canon. I've jokingly said "I cant believe billford is canon" too, but I thought we were saying that lightheartedly. I thought we all recognized that it was "canonized" in a wink-wink nudge-nudge way where they fully leave room for people to interpret it as "haha isn't it so funny and clever that they're framing being betrayed by a demon as if it's a romantic breakup!" Please. I'm begging you, do you understand what I'm saying here
#godsrambles#this is the same guy who wrote blubs and durland with a ton of gay subtext and then was SURPRISED when people pointed it out#complaining#<- so the tag can be blocked just in case. although I dont think I'll be using it regularly. probably wont ever use it again fingers crosse#i would judge the contents of this book very differently if I thought that this was a sincere attempt at representing a queer relationship#and I think that hirsch would very likely feel very stressed about portraying it respectfully and carefully if it'd been his sincere intent#i dont think he would attempt writing a canonically abusive queer relationship at all tbh. not without a whole bunch of sensitivity readers#this is the same guy who never gave wendy her own episode because he was worried about messing up her character#his strategy for not writing women poorly is to have hardly any main character women in the show at all#in the behind the scenes commentary he mentions that he asked someone if it would be problematic for him to canonize blubs and durland#and the only thing he really did after hearing that it would be ok is adding the two words 'and love' to their lines in the last episode#yes the book contains shipping fuel but getting upset about people who dont want to engage with shipping or who actively dislike the ship?#come on man. the tags are already flooded with the ship can you not see why people would be annoyed if it isnt their thing#let people live
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
you seriously cannot make this up: you have people reblogging fic featuring a racist character as half of the main ship in the morning then trying to give morality lessons in the evening by calling others homophobic over a joke.
THE CALL IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE, BABES.
#the finger keeps being pointed at buddie shippers like the other side is not doing anything wrong at all when there is SO MUCH that#could be said about them. and it's all because people want to seem like their choice of preferred ship at the moment is rational and correc#and the thing is it would be so much more honest to say that at the moment you are more compelled by the other ship. some of us may not#understand it and may judge it because HOW. but in the end it's your right!! it's ok!!! you ship what you ship. but to make it seem like#this is the correct choice by saying that it's just the buddie fans turning you off the ship or being crazy... that's stupid. then you also#wouldn't be invested in the other ship because it also has crazy fans and people being terrible.#and like for years and years the buddie side of fandom has had to self-reflect A LOT. and sure not everyone has done it but so many of us#have refused to let others get away with things simply because their otp was ours too. we shamed racists during the chimney punch debacle.#we have called people out on gross top/bottom discourse. we have acknowledged that there are sides to the fandom that have been wrong.#but i have yet to see one single b*ckt*mmy fan engage in public self-reflection about their side of the fandom.#and if the problem was simply with the fans around others well okay whatever you'd be doing a bad job. but to actively also engage in the#bad behavior and then call out others. PLEASE KSKSKSKSKSKSKSK like c'mon!!!!!!!#and at this point words like homophobia keep being thrown around and it's actually vile when they refer to things that are VERY MUCH not#rooted in homophobia at all. twice now a joke that was NOT homophobic has been called homophobic and i think people should reflect#on why they need things to be homophobia so bad when they don't agree with them.#so yeah anyways THE CALL IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE#discourse#.text
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
One of the worst and most counter-productive things this site has tried to do is claim that just Sharing A Marginalization With Someone means that the two of you have a wealth of things in common and are Automatically Aligned On Most Issues when that is NOT THE CASE. VERY CATEGORICALLY NOT THE CASE.
#I'm not currently articulate enough to elaborate on this but something something if you're marginalized on multiple axes then#someone who shares ONE of those marginalizations with you might hate some of the other ones#something something people politically act against their own rights/personal interests all the time something something so many#people STILL HATE WOMEN!!!!!!#like. my cis straight friend who is CONSTANTLY making an effort to do better in regard to how she relates to ALL marginalized people#and is on the frontlines for disability activism and is willing to--for example--recognize that SHE would be very unlikely to ever get#an abortion but she doesn't have the right to judge or deny one to OTHER PEOPLE is infinitely. INFINITELY. more like me and on my side#than a bisexual person who hates women and wants to police them and goes out of their way to make life for disabled people harder#just as like. one example.#okay it's too early in the morning for this bullshit I gotta log off#everyone say thank you in advance to my therapist who I see today
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
im gonna let you guys in on a little secret.
the more macden shippers shit on other pairings, the more multishippers like me will move towards their secondary and/or tertiary pairings. if i can't go into the charden tag without seeing a post intentionally tagged with multiple ships and trying to spark discourse between them by saying people who ship "rarepairs" are stupid and delusional, first of all, that's an instant fucking block, but like. I'm not going to feel like talking about macdennis when it feels like there's such an obnoxious pressure on you to fall into line and accept the widely preached and accepted fanon canon.
I love macden too. and I would post about and enjoy it a lot more if y'all didn't make it feel like we had to pick a side. just because you prefer the big popular ship, that doesn't make you smarter, or more correct than anyone who ships charden or charmac, it just means you have different preferences. i think macden has the biggest chance of being an actual couple on the show, and obviously mac and dennis are both gay and queer respectively, but if i want to ship charden, why can't i do that too? fandom is supposed to be fun, and it's supposed to be enjoyable, i don't want to have to fight to prove that this ship that i personally see working and enjoy the dynamics of is a "valid ship" when i am fully aware that they're not going to be canon that's kind of the point, and why i prefer it. and for the love of god... if you hc a pairing as platonic, that is perfectly fine. that's how i see charmac myself, but that is your view and your problem, not the shippers'. just block the tag so you don't have to see it if it bothers you that much.
and i don't like several of the other common rarepairs, but have any of you ever seen me talking shit on charmac or chardee shippers? no. stay in your lane and let people live. i'm sick of seeing people acting superior over a fucking it's always sunny in philadelphia ship.
#ada speaks#i am so tired#of feeling like im being judged constantly because of this lmao#its fine if you dont see charden personally but shut the fuck up about it#i purposefully mangle the word mac//den so it doesn't show up in tags if im being critical of their dynamic#AND I SHIP THEM SO LIKE.#i am just vibing bro! i just want to write about charden shared trauma!#idk how its seemingly so hard to understand why people would ship other members of the gang#theyre like. friends.#people crackship characters in other FANDOMS and this is somehow the hill you choose to die on re: 'delusional' ships?#i think its based as hell for people to ship people who've never interacted actually because it brings out cool fucking dynamics#that you wouldnt normally see in canon! have your fave blorbos interact who gives a shit#just so frustrating to feel like you need to justify Why you ship characters when its.... rlly not that farfetched#and yet people will actively vague and point and laugh at you for shipping characters whove been friends for the majority of their life#okay rant over im just. huheeuheu
35 notes
·
View notes
Text
wait it would be literally so funny if i’m like this because my mom never encouraged me to follow my dreams and i didn’t realize it til i was 30
#my mom is the nicest person in the world but she is very dedicated to trying to keep me realistic#and i never realized how much that affected me#i think i never wanted to judge my mom’s parenting because in all the important ways i was supported#i was loved i was given attention i was taken care of#and it’s not like they actively discouraged me#but something about me i’m only now accepting is#i back down from a challenge#i will turn this car around#i’m the quitterrrr#so i think the fact that nobody was there saying YES YOU CAN DO IT#instead of well it will be really difficult and most people don’t make it and you have to be really dedicated#made my commitmentphobic ass go NOT WORTH#i have the opposite of the sunk cost mentality#i have quit when you plateau mentality#fuck i didn’t even need therapy to figure this out i just needed a fuuuuuck of weed
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
maybe some 10hour minecraft solo would fix me
#i dunno#im not sure why ive been all Eughh abt the server bf likes#part of it might be the New aspect of it and another part might be just how active it is and how many ppl are there#even tho im not like. ever direct or one on one with them its like#im at a party sort of#the chat is active too much and That. drains me a lot faster than i realize#so either a smaller server a Much smaller server or a solo world for a minute#would fix me#because i do want to minecraft#i miss it its good its nice it gives me something to do that i likely wouldn't ever get shamed for#(in this day and age... back in my day id get bullied in school about it)#(not usually by students but some did Judge me Heavily but mostly it was teachers who were like. 'video games are violenntt!!') but anyways#i wanna like the server bf likes so badly#but every single time i log on im like i cant find a good spot ever theres too many people and hhhh#so i log off of it pretty quickly even tho i Want. to like it#i jus dont think i caaann#and hi leo if ur reading this which i Hope you are <3#i would've told you this earlier. If i found out and unpacked this earlier but I'm only unpacking it now and at the time of#typing this i am so so so so SO sleepy and you are possibly just waking up or about to in an hour or so#so mwah mwah ily and such and gmmm#and im sorry if the short minecraft sessions felt Bad but it 10000% wasnt you#the uniqueness of that server js fun dont get me wrong but i dont think it can be like an All Time server for me#so make your own lil space there and ill pop in from time to time#if u want to at least#nya.txt#ow why cramps..#im nit bleeding or anything jus empty cramps bc i missed some shots oops#but its tolerable i just wnana sleeeeeepp
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
HOAs are fucking wild. you're telling me that even if i legally own this home, i still have landlord rules. who the fuck cares if i have pets in the house that i own. it's my problem to clean up after them.
and who the fuck cares!!! about the color of my curtains!!!!!!!
#since its apparently impossible to find an apartment in my budget around here#ive been looking at condos. and good lord what is happening in there#both of these are real examples btw. i would be allowed ONE cat and ONLY white blinds#the unit that ive been looking at. their bylaws restrict 'any immoral or offensive behavior' without defining what that means#once again. within the home that i would own#who CARES if someone else is fucking nasty in their own house!!!!!!!!!!#like whatever if you want to restrict illegal activity. kind of redundant imo because it's already. illegal but you gotta cover your ass ig#but vague strictures like that?? that can be interpreted however someone sees fit? judging peoples behavior in their own house hello???#uninformed opinion but this all feels JUST as sinister as the landlord issue.#people try to keep telling me about the GoOd HoAs Do So We NeEd ThEm but like. theyre not my fucking mom#and uhh wild concept but maybe we Should expand local funding infrastructure to cover road maintenance/plowing/streetlights/etc#mine
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
I think it can be true that certain lifestyle changes can help with pain and disability, but people really overplay how those changes will affect people's lives.
I've found that exercise has helped my back pain - I have had chronic back pain that PT didn't touch, but exercise has helped. However, what hasn't changed is what exasperates that pain, and when my pain is especially exasperated, it doesn't matter how much I exercise, I'll be in my bed trying so hard to get out, and I'll be seeing white. So, yes, exercise helped me, but it did not save me. That's an example of what I mean.
It's fine to give (solicited!!) advice to people about how to manage things like this. But I'm begging people to be realistic about this. Lifestyle changes can only do so much, and disabilities are - surprise! - disabling.
#disability#i just hate how people turn lifestyle advice into (again) thought-terminating clichés#because i DO all the things i'm ~supposed~ to do and it didn't save me...#...that tells me that it isn't this magical cure people think their advice is#i used my back pain as an example ofc and i'm not saying i have it bad or worse than anybody else#but my pain used to be so much worse and i'm glad it's gotten to the point...#...where i only experience bad days only so often where before it was multiple times per week...#...like as a kid my back pain would keep me up and almost make me cry and PT didn't help me whatsoever#i'm probably about the most active i've been in my life so far and i still have pain because i have a historical precdence for it#this is why i never will judge people for choosing not to make the '~proper~' lifestyle changes that ~help~ with their disability/ies#it isn't a contradiction that i am 'fit' and i'm in the market for a cane (maybe)#(i've been looking around because i want help getting up when i have an 'episode' of pain)
252 notes
·
View notes
Text
HEADS UP SEVEN UP!
i was tagged by @onomatopiya (tyyy sm <3) and the last seven lines i wrote are from the judge and calliope oneshot (which is getting DANGEROUSLY close to cracking 6000 words. lesbian devotion complex win ig)
But Judge is kissing her. She is kissing her soft and tender and slow like she is something precious to hold, treasure, have even though all he’s ever deserved is her tearing him apart with her teeth. Instead she cards a hand through his hair, smiles against his lips, touches her like a lovely thing which means I like you and I want you here with me because I think it’s good and I think you can be good. Because I like you. Because I forgive you, because I want you whole, want you happy, want you safe, want to find you in the centre of the labyrinth, want to keep you. Want to keep you even though you’re awful. Want to keep you want to keep you, want you you you even though it’s me and I could have chosen a thousand better things a thousand times over.
i'll tag @encrucijada @andromedaexists @peresephones @sabinabardot @keen2meecha @kaiusvnoir and @meerawrites !!
#i think it’s sooo funny that i have creative writing assignments actively due while i’ve been working consistently on this for WEEKS#like rip to my prof i guess gay people in my google docs are WAY more important#(i’m joking obviously) (but still)#i was thinking about posting this but idk because it’s truly just thousands of words of relationship study#just one long scene with calliope being extremely mentally ill#if anyone DOES want to read it lmk i’d be happy to share when it’s done lol#anyways. them.#creme does a tag#god i need a judge and calliope tag#tw romance
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
There's something so sad about not being able to enjoy your friends and family's accomplishments.
I want to be happy for you, but instead I feel jealous.
Just because my life is empty and pathetic doesn't mean yours has to be that as well, yet I can't help myself.
Whenever someone achieves something, I want to distance myself from them, because how can I even talk to someone like that anymore?
Why can't we be useless together?
Yes this is a toxic mindset, don't worry I don't have many friends, if any at all and it's very obvious why.
I used to think I wanted to die, so I told everyone that. They helped and I got a little better. Then I got worse, but now I think I'm beyond help.
#maybe the reason i cant be happy for others is because i know ill never be happy myself#i dont have active plans to end it dw#but i wish i were dead daily#and i havent told anyone#not because i have no one#thats a stupid thing to say i know#its just bc i dont want people to try and help me#they never can help#they just judge and hover and make me feel guilty#im not making anyone feel bad for me#until i die at least#random#rant#rant post#personal rant
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Oh my God I'm so surprised that super persistent but consistently flawed debater on Tumblr is actually a child. I never saw that coming.
Look, there's things that adults shouldn't say/ topics we shouldnt bring up around children and should be able to create spaces away from them. If I'm being completely honest, radical feminism almost entirely falls in this category of 18+ content. We are constantly talking about sexual violence and other extremely adult topics that aren't appropriate for developing minds to be constantly bombarded with. It's bad for your young minds and it's bad for the movements that you seem to think you care about.
If you want to be a child activist then volunteer for your local community, don't get in online spaces with adults. It's simply not safe for children and creates an unproductive environment for adults. Children will learn better skills and build more fulfilling relationships and achievement doing local community activism anyways.
If you're a minor you need to put that shit somewhere so that we can tell that we're talking to a literal baby. I really don't enjoy this increasing trend of purposely not telling people when y'all are minors because you think that it's going to make people dismiss you, when you having limited life experience is a legitimate limitation on your analysis. You're being deceptive because someone placed a social boundary that you don't want to respect. It's high key gross.
On the same note, different tune, I hope this serves that is a reminder that people can literally be lying, either outright or by omission, about everything they claim about themselves on here. We, people in general, have created the online culture where it's completely normal to lie about important identifying features about ourselves for social clout/elevation. While I know there are some of us that may not participate in this practice, I know plenty of radfems do. We've caught a few doing it red-handed and all they're doing is breeding distrust amongst us in these spaces.
Can y'all not just act like normal honest people?
#I really thought you were a stupid attention seeker who everyone just gave way too much attention to in her mid/early 20s#just an adult with way too much time on her hands who knows how to act the same questions and chronically online#so I'm actually very happy to learn that you are actually a child. because I spent like 2 years thinking you didn't know how to read/argue#however#I do disagree about lying about your age by deception or omission. you knew that most people on here thought you were an adult#though that was definitely their own dumbass mistake#you should have been honest with your age in the bio because you knew it would have given people context to judge your content better#I'm really sick of y'all pretending to be adults on here until it is convenient for you not to lie anymore#you get more leeway for the stupid shit you say when I think you're a kid but I also don't think kids should be actively in politics#adults don't want to talk about adult topics with children it makes us uncomfortable and it stops us from being able to have open debate#lily responds#really this is why I encourage you to get offline and join local political movements#okay I'm done ranting I'm just so tired of figuring out after the fact that y'all are liars especially about your age#I also just don't like feeling like I've been lied to so maybe I'm taking this more personally than I should be
41 notes
·
View notes
Text
on the one hand there is an imbalance between austin thirst and callum thirst on my dash, very much in favor of the guy who i personally find less appealing to look at, and i Feel A Way about this as a matter of principle
on the other i hate
SO MUCH
to be a fan of a guy
like i hate it! it's mortifying to think an actor is good at their job enough that i want to do the filmography thing! i don't like doing the filmography thing!!! i get such motts about being a fan of a guy, no matter the circumstances
so really the imbalance is probably a good thing
#even worse with barry. i do not want to see that man in anything. that music video existing is hell for me. as was the met gala.#i don't know why!#i don't care if other people like a guy! there's really ZERO judgment inherent outward here#i just can't fucking do it it makes me feel weird and mottsy and bad#also my scopos. don't look at the camera. stop taking photos of celebrities looking into the lens. stop. STOP.#the more i like a guy the harder it is for me to actively engage with his body of work so dunkirk and green room are just.#sitting on my watch list! silently judging me for liking guys in them!
3 notes
·
View notes