#i want bitches in their 80s who are collecting their social security

[therulerofallpotatos]

It's always so interesting whenever I'm in a class on a Topic right; the psychology of prejudice, disability counseling, sex psychology, any women and gender class, history of autism, etc etc and the inevitable class discussion of "what are some ways we can combat ignorance and discrimination?" and without fail most of the class goes "just educate people" and while that's a worthy goal and a very good method...it also sometimes feels like we are ignoring the fact that the reason "just educate them" worked so well on the people present in that room at that time is because we are all literally academics who sign up for classes like psychology of prejudice, disability counseling, and sex psychology.

If just telling somebody that a thing they believe is racist worked, we'd have a way easier time getting people to stop saying racist things and that's including well-meaning people who are not interested in being unfair or prejudiced to others. it is simply more complicated than that and it sometimes feels like there's a lack of self-awareness amongst the "study self-awareness" group.

[jeonsolar]

Miraculous Ladybug 2x16 Troublemaker *Commentary*

I’ve done this five? times. And some people like it. But I’m doing this simply because I find myself funny. And I need to empty my brain. So, I hope you guys enjoy my brain dump.

Ok. To start off, Thanks so much to @wild-mare-of-prosecution for giving me a link to this episode. Second, The Incredibles was awesome. 😊

Disney in Spanish? FB page is Russian? Episode in English? Wow, so multicultural.

21 minutes and two of those will be intro and credits? Sigh.

Who’s the villain again? Cuz this white dude seems like every villain in every movie ever.

Why is the mayor supervising the hotel? See? This is why the city is crumbling!

I don’t pity her because she signed up for that job. EVERYONE knows that’s how shity it is.

How French with all the kissing and lack of personal space.

Yo. Those posters make Jagged look more Jagged. That black shirt thing makes him look hot. Stop it with the 80’s clothes. Go simple and awesome.

I wish I had subtitles.

This show is about finding wives, right?

Fill my shoes?! What? That’s an entirely different show, and a bad name.

Only because he likes his adopted niece, Marinette. Also, those lace gloves are. . .  (doesn’t want to say but can’t help it) delicately feminine.

I agree Sabine. I agree.

Every homemade show like this that has real like people, they always look and sound completely out of their element. That’s how you know they’re not actors. Also, Marinette, stop being such a fangirl.

She uses the same stress reliever I do. It’s pretty annoying during exams. It annoys even me. But it also calms me down.

When. . . when did he make … the guitar? And … how? He . . . sucks … at … baking….

There’s signal.

Also, I know Asian people can be smaller than average, but this is a joke.

Holy FUCK! I thought they were going to put on Careless Whisper for a second there!!!!

Sabine knows, Penny does the same shit as Marinette.

Who is Adrien excited to see? Jagged, or the croissants?

MARINETTE? NOOO. No way. Adrien -Just a friend- Agreste, did not just say that…

*sings* Juuuustt aaaa . . . . friiiiiieeeeeeennnnddddd!

TOM HAS GREEN EYES? Girls really do go for their fathers.

I paused, and fucking shit, that hair on Tom looks so real -the beard-.

Marinette’s clumsiness deserves an award. That was impressive. Minimal effort too. 9/10

Upstairs and vague? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

… What’s with her screen saver? Did she have her computer recording Adrien while they were playing video games? That background is her room. I know someone else said it, but these are badly recycled screencaps. That could have at least made plain backdrops and they would have been believable.

If Marinette spent as much time finding where HawkMoth is as she does with collecting Adrien, Paris would be safe.

Play “Spot Random Pictures of Nino”, is fun. Which brings the question, they made random pics of Nino and they couldn’t do that with Adrien?

Adrien is dabbing in one of them.

After a throughout analysis of the pictures in Mari’s room I’m making the theory that Snapchat exists in their world and Mari just screenshots and prints Adrien’s feed.

Penny is so uncomfortable …. So am I. I don’t want to press play.

Plagg, you little shit.

Wait, how big is that house?

HOW BIG IS THAT HOUSE, THAT THEY HAVE TO REUSE THE STAIR ANIMATION?

ANOTHER FLOOR?

It would have been hilarious if Jagged had been dressed in the dress he’s holding. “Here I am modeling a Marinette original. Am I better than this model boy? I am a better model, aren’t I?”

R E S P E C T. ‘You heard the lady.” Well done Penny.

At least no one made a comment about her period. Also, is completely fair and about time she fucking put them in their place.

HOW DOES GABRIEL RUN A COMPANY IF HE SPENDS MOST OF HIS TIME WAITING IN THAT ROOM FOR SOMETHING TO HAPPEN, SO HE CAN DRAMATICALLY OPEN HIS WINDOW AND BE BAD?

Anime background again. Attack on titan?

I hate to admit, but I would have had the same panic attack. Social media is a bitch.

From that angle her hairstyle looked completely different and Mari looked more Asian.

What a strange lighting, it changes her eye color drastically.

“Plus, its too late already. The show’s live.” *marinette panics and looks at the camera* SOMEONE MAKE A GIF OF THAT AND SEND IT TO ME, ASAP! THIS WILL BE ALL I TEXT FROM NOW ON.

Sabine is a tiger mom and I L O V E IT! Also, Tom appears to be slightly intimidated by the tiny tiger mom.

Sabine is the best mom in the world. Tiger mom, kung fu mom. Caring mom. What else? Ultimately the most B A D A S S MOM IN THE WORLD.

Does… all of Paris have that same security system from Gabriel’s mansion? If so, why was Gabriel so confused by Chat knowing that that mansion had a security system?

What are you talking about? It’s perfect. You are already at the scene of the crime.

Adrien… that was lame.

What if Plagg only likes croissants because it reminds him of Tikki cuz she lives there… I’ll leave that one there for you guys.

Chat… You’re lucky you’re cute.

NO WAY HE LANDED LIKE THAT.

Sometimes I forget he does call her Bugaboo, and that’s not a head cannon.

No. I love Bugabo-

…. What if that was Astruc asking the fans to stop calling her Bugaboo?

Huh? My cat senses are tingling!

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Why is Ladybug offering Chat Noir a tour of Marinette’s room? Why is Ladybug so uncomfortable of anyone seeing the pictures? Shouldn’t that arouse Adrien’s suspicion?

When teens hide pictures under their bed is because they do a solo bow-chick-a-bow-wow with them. Marinette has hit puberty. I don’t judge.

*Double checks Mari’s ‘porn’ stash* Adrien boxes?

JESUS CHRIST! WHY ARE THERE SO MANY PICTURES? AND WHY ARE THEY HIDDEN?

Nope. Concussion.

No way she’s that fast. Is ladybug frozen?

*Careless whispers plays in the background as LB and CN hold hands*Fun fact, I actually sang it as it was happening. I don’t kid when I say these are things I say outloud as I watch them.

This is a cool shot. I like it. The focus thing? I like it.

How does he dream it? Does Adrien also write fanfiction about how it will happen? Is Adrien hidden amongst our fanfiction writers?

Are you kitten me, Chat? You are gonna judge her?

Hahahaha, Like a gun. That’s funny.

What detective movies do they watch?

So they glued her to Ladybug…. And they earrings too? Does that mean Marinette can never take them off now? Wouldn’t it be smart to also do that to Chat?

Penny: “What… what happened? Where’s Jagged?”

Ladybug: “What happened? You fucked up my room, my life, and almost my secret identity! That’s what happened?”

Chat and Penny: O.O

Ladybug: “…. I mean…. You’re always so helpful…~”

How… she… she’s gotta stay. A…. and he gotta go….

Chat: “You’re the girl of my dreams.”

Ladybug: . . . . fuck off *pushes him off the balcony*

Smooth LB, smooth.

He’s British right?

Now that! That sounds like real Paris. I like that background sound.

NILYA!

…. This . . .. this looks a lot like that little joke I wrote a few months back…..

Also, Adrien, your sneaky chat is showing.

Adrien looked mad at Mari interrupting him. Adrien, your chat is showing.

Ok. The animation of their eyebrows was soooo exaggerated that they looked angry when they are supposed to be like …. Concentrated, or confused. Make those eyebrows smaller.

THIS IS INTENSE! ADRIEN IS GETTING SMART . . . AND SASSY!!

JUST A FRIEND MY ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHA 8D I AM SO NOT PANICKING AT ALL!!! HAHAHAHAH -Marinette

Adrien your douche is showing.

Also, Adrien, shut up Chat noir. Adrien doesn’t know she hides them under her bed and sofa.

J U S T    A    F R I E N D

Mari’s boobs got bigger. Yes. I did notice. And if there is continuation to that I’ll accept it. She is in puberty.

Isn’t… isn’t that a parallel to another scene? It feels similar to the umbrella scene. The angles.

Tikki did us a favor of reminding us that Marinette is getting better at talking to Adrien. Thanks Tikki.

I just now realized the page I’m in is not facebook. But it looks like it.

----

I.... really like this episode. Ok , so here’s the deal. My brother got a microphone. If you guys want I can record these. Truth is, a lot of my commentary gets lost because of typing. I’m fast, but not THAT fast. I could try and do it like cinema sins.  And it could help bring back the timestamps. Your call. :)

 Thanks for reading.

[analogscum]

ENEMY TERRITORY (1987, d. Peter Manoogian)

I don’t often like to bring up social or political issues on this site. For me, and I assume for many of you, these movies that I write about are a respite. When I want to escape the reality of what modern life in this country has become, then I want to watch something that looks and feels as far away from that reality as possible. And furthermore, I don’t want to shove my own social and political beliefs down anyone’s throat. I don’t know what you believe, and I don’t want to alienate a reader on a site that’s about exploitation cinema based on something that is outside of that sphere. Or even worse, you already agree with me, and I’m preaching to the converted, which is a complete waste of both my time and yours. Anyway, this is all a preamble to say that I find it impossible to talk about today’s movie, 1987’s Enemy Territory, without talking about social and political issues. Because, while this movie is undeniably entertaining, it’s also undeniably racist as hell.

These types of movies were all over the place in the 80s, the Assault on Precinct 13, Escape From New York type of urban jungle, ragtag group of heroes have to survive the night with a bunch of psychopathic baddies hunting them down. And yes, it is no secret that New York City in the 80s was a grimy, crime-ridden hellhole. So perhaps it is not that shocking that Enemy Territory does not present, shall we say, the most subtle or diverse view of black life in America. But this goes far beyond being a product of its time and environment: Enemy Territory represents a conservative white male’s nightmare vision of the black experience. Nearly every black character in this movie is either a gleeful villain or a morose victim. There are scenes in this movie where I couldn’t help but hear our internet troll President droning on about how crime-ridden and poverty-stricken and joyless he and his ilk think modern black life is in my head while it was playing. I’d like to think we’d have gotten better with understanding race relations in the 31 years since this movie was released, but all signs point to nope.

Enemy Territory opens with one of those urban blight montages, just scenes of infrastructure decay and abject poverty, while a Grandmaster Flash knockoff blares on the soundtrack. Everything is covered in graffiti. In fact, we see the title itself being spray painted on a wall, before it pops out onto the screen. Movie magic! We then meet our protagonist, Barry. Barry is an insurance salesman, and it seems that things aren’t going so well for him. He’s arguing with his ex-wife over the phone about money problems. Then he opens his desk drawer, and wouldn’t you know it, but there’s a giant bottle of Jack Daniels inside. Say it ain’t so, Barry! For some reason, Barry’s boss is like, ok Barry, you’re a total drunk fuckup, but I like you, so go get a signature from this old lady named Elva who just took out a $100,000 life insurance policy, and collect the premium. By the way, this old lady happens to live…in the ghe-ttooooooooooo.

Meanwhile, we meet a phone company repairman named Will, who is played by Ray Parker Jr. Yes, THAT Ray Parker Jr. I’m going to do my best to refrain from Ghostbusters puns here, but no promises. As it turns out, Will is also headed over…to the ghe-ttoooooooooo, because he has a lady friend there that he wants to pay a visit to. Makes sense, because I heard he likes the girls! Dammit!

So Barry arrives…in the ghe-ttoooooooooo, and immediately these kids are like, hey you white cracker honkey ass piece of shit motherfucker, give us two dollars to watch your car. And since Barry is so white he makes Dave Chappelle’s uptight white guy character look like Rudy Ray Moore, he’s like well gee golly, here’s your money, I don’t want any malarkey! And he walks away, at which point the kids start robbing his car. He’s not even out of earshot. Ugh, whatever, movie. Inside the building, Barry taps a kid on the shoulder and asks where Elva’s apartment is. The kid responds very reasonably, and is happy to help him find…nah, I’m joking, the kid is like what the fuck you say to me you white devil cracker ass jive bitch motherfuck shit cracker ass punk, and pulls a switchblade on him. UGGGGGGH, whatever, movie. Luckily, the building’s ancient security guard shoos him away, and helps Barry find Elva’s apartment. Every single line that this security guard has is about how bad the building is, how crime and gang-ridden it is, how they’re probably going to die because they’re roaming the building at this hour, etc. When Barry goes and gets the signature and the premium from Elva, every single line that SHE has is about how bad the building is, how crime and gang-ridden it is, how he’s probably going to die because he’s roaming the building at this hour, etc. Tomi Lahren probably thinks that this movie is a documentary.

Barry and the security guard head back to the elevators, but oh no, there are a bunch of gangsters waiting for them! Turns out that the kid that Barry tapped on the shoulder was a junior member of The Vampires, and now he must pay, with his blooooood!

OK, time out. This is how you know a white conservative wrote this screenplay: there has never been a street gang like this in reality ever. The Vampires are corny as hell. They refer to white people as “ghosts” and black people who help white people as “blood traitors,” have silly nicknames like Psycho, and do a little salute to one another where they make fangs with their index and middle finger, and hiss. Oh, and their leader calls himself The Count, and the most evil thing he does for the entire movie is break Elva’s glasses. Speaking of Dave Chappelle, the Player Haters Ball would have a field day with these clowns.

However, despite being totally unrealistic and silly, Tony Todd, who plays The Count and went on to play Candyman, is easily the best part of this movie. He takes all of this nonsense about how The Vampires own the night and the building is their castle and plays it with the verve and seriousness of Shakespeare. He chews the scenery, yes, but his presence is magnetic. You can’t take your eyes off of him whenever he’s on screen. The movie gave him a bunch of garbage to sell, and he sells the HELL outta that garbage.

So there’s a scuffle, and both switchblade kid and the security guard end up getting shot and killed. Ray Parker Jr., having heard something strange in the neighborhood (shit, sorry!) runs out of his lady friend’s apartment and helps Barry get to safety. The movie really kicks into gear here, and I’ve gotta say, becomes rather exciting. They keep the pace going, keep the characters on their toes, and I was surprised to find that I started to become really invested in these characters. I know I’ve been giving him a hard time, but Ray Parker Jr. really isn’t that bad of an actor, you could at least say that he skates by on charisma. But anyhow, these two eventually meet up with Elva’s granddaughter, Toni, played by Stacey Dash (who must’ve felt right at home with all this right wing dog whistling). They decide that the safest place in the building is Mr. Parker’s apartment, as he’s the only person that The Vampires are scared of.

We finally get to Mr. Parker’s apartment, but not before Barry has to stab a Vampire to death, which reduces him to a blubbering mess. Mr. Parker’s door looks like a maximum security jail cell door, and there’s a slot through which he sticks out a gun. Eventually he lets them in, and holy shit, his entire apartment is covered in reinforced steel, wired with booby traps, and Mr. Parker himself turns out to be a kooky crazy Vietnam vet in a fancy, weaponized wheelchair (!!!) played by none other than Jan-Michael Vincent. He goes on and on about how he left one war and found himself in another and says some pretty racist stuff about his fellow tenants and is like, you know why I’ve got this pet bird? So that if there’s a gas leak, I’ll know about it because he died first! And then he’s like, you know why I got this pet cat? So that it can eat my food first, and test it for poison!

At this point, I knew that this character wasn’t going to be in the movie much longer. One, because when you introduce a character this larger than life this late in the narrative, then it’s too good to be true. Two, because at the time, Jan-Michael Vincent was well into his torrid love affair with drugs and alcohol. Despite the fact that Mr. Parker is in a wheelchair, his legs are constantly twitching. You can’t help but speculate that they gave the character a wheelchair because JMV was too drunk to stand up, and considering the sorry state of his health today, that wheelchair becomes almost a harbinger of things to come. Anyway, The Vampires show up and almost immediately kill Mr. Parker. But not before he can give his machine gun to Elva. Chekhov’s machine gun!

Barry, Toni, and Ray Parker Jr. somehow manage to escape, and they find a little boy who claims to know a secret way out of the building that not even The Vampires know about. On the way, they encounter the aforementioned Psycho, who has a giant geri curl that made me chuckle, and they throw him down an open elevator shaft, which also made me chuckle. So they get down to the basement, gingerly stepping over Psycho’s corpse, and make their way to the secret exit. But guess what? PSYCHO ISN’T DEAD! At this point, I got very excited, because, holy shit, what if The Vampires…ARE ACTUAL VAMPIRES?!?! If the movie suddenly went in THAT direction, that would’ve been so awesome. But, alas, they just kill Psycho again, this time for good. RIP, Psycho.

Eventually the kid leads them to the secret exit, but its a really tight squeeze, so Toni decides to run to the nearby NYPD building for help. Of course, she is almost immediately raped and murdered by an entirely DIFFERENT gang as soon as she leaves the building, because the movie hadn’t shoved its racism in your face in awhile. Without giving too much away, eventually Barry and Ray Parker Jr. also get out, The Count has an amazing, borderline operatic (seriously!) death scene, the rest of The Vampires are shot at by Elva and her new machine gun (yaaaaay!) and in the ultimate example of this being a right wing fantasy, the NYPD, yes, the NYPD, arrives right on time to save the day. Hoooooo boy.

So what else is there to say about Enemy Territory? Yes, it is entertaining. It is a well-constructed action movie with some surprisingly good performances to back it up. I haven’t even discussed the cinematography, which is easily the film’s best technical asset, seeing as it was done by the legendary Ernest Dickerson, who shot all of Spike Lee’s best movies. I can’t imagine it was easy for Ernest to look Spike in the eye after participating in a movie like this. And here’s the thing: Enemy Territory isn’t just racist now, it was considered racist for the time, if you can imagine that. After it was released, on May 22, 1987 (the day I was born!), the film played in New York City for a week before it was pulled from theaters due to overwhelming outrage and protests from black activists and civil rights groups. Though it would make its money back on VHS, the film has never made it to DVD, and there seem to be no current plans to change that. Which is fine by me. Enemy Territory is a shiny piece of entertainment that rots from the inside; what purports to be a gritty look at the big bad city is really nothing more than a collection of racist dog whistles directed at a section of the white population whose view of other races is myopic and bigoted. There are plenty of great 80s action movies that won’t make you queasily think of Bernie Goetz, or the Central Park Five, or Amadou Diallo. After all, real life is bad enough, wouldn’t you rather escape?

[haleths]

I was tagged by @elektra-natchos ❤️❤️❤️ Thank you my dear, sorry this took so bloody long, I’m hopeless I know!! (Some of your answers were absolutely priceless btw)

RULES: Answer all the questions, add one of your own and tag as many people as there are questions  I’ll tag as many as I like thanks

1. Coke or pepsi? Neither tbh cause I’m a complete weirdo who hates fizzy drinks

2. Disney or dreamworks? Mmmm.....ok if we’re purely talking animated films I’ll say Disney, but if we’re counting live action as well then its got to be Dreamworks

3. Coffee or tea? Tea pretty much flows in my veins at this point

4. Books or movies? Both

5. Windows or mac? Windows

6. DC or marvel? DC has better villains for sure but Marvel overall

7. Xbox or playstation? Xbox

8. Dragon age or mass effect? I’m ashamed to say I’ve never played either. But from my limited knowledge of them both, Dragon Age seems more up my alley

9. Night owl or early riser? Naturally I fall somewhere in the middle, but I can be either if for example I have very early/late shifts at work

10. Cards or chess? Cards

11. Chocolate or vanilla? CHOCOLATE

12. Vans or converse? Converse were all I wore as a child

13. Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash or Adaar? Again not played Dragon Age sorry!

14. Fluff or angst? Both, both is good

15. Beach or forest? I’d uproot my home and live out the rest of my days in a treehouse in an instant if that were socially acceptable

16. Dogs or cats? I don’t have a preference

17. Clear skies or rain? Clear skies because yes I do love the colour of the sky

18. Cooking or eating out? Cooking. I love eating out but it wouldn’t be special if I did it all the time. Plus I really enjoy cooking

19. Spicy food or mild food? Spicy. My food has to actually taste like something!

20. Halloween/samhain or solstice/yule/christmas? It's Christmastime, there's no need to be afraid......

21. Would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot? I’m always a little too cold now anyway!

22. If you could have a superpower, what would it be? Flight

23. Animation or live action? Hmmm tricky.... live action

24. Paragon or renegade? Paragon. I’m like lawful good

25. Baths or showers? Showers, wtf would I want to sit in my own dirty water??

26. Team cap or team ironman? Team cap

27. Fantasy or sci-fi? Bitch how dare you make me chose, I ain’t doing it!!

28. Do you have three or four favourite quotes, if so, what are they? “Fantasy is escapist, and that is its glory” - Tolkien

“Always be a first rate version of yourself instead of a second rate version of someone else” - Judy Garland

“I don’t want to survive, I WANT TO LIVE!” - Captain B. McCrea (WALL-E)

29. Youtube or netflix? Netflix, even though I don’t have it. I’d send all day watching series/films if I could

30. Harry potter or percy jackson? Harry Potter no contest

31. When do you feel accomplished? Ticking off everything on my to do list, cleaning, finally facing that task I’ve been avoiding for months....

32. Star wars or star trek? Star Wars

33. Paperback or hardback books? Either, as long as I have the actual book I don’t care. You can get Kindles THE HELL away from me

34. Horror or rom-com? I’m pathetic and get scared by practically anything so I’ll always go for rom-com but its got to be good

35. TV shows or movies? Again don’t you dare make me pick

36. Favourite animal? RED PANDAS YAASSSS

37. Favourite genre of music? This does change on a weekly basis but currently alternative/new wave 80s. 

38. Least favourite book? I don’t read bad books

39. Favourite season? They all have their merits

40. Song that’s currently stuck in your head? Just Like Heaven - The Cure

41. What kind of pyjama’s do you wear? Pj bottoms and an old tshirt

42. How many existential crises do you have on an average day? Not too many I’m pleased to say. I’m definitely doing better than I was 2 months ago

43. If you can only choose one song to be played at your funeral, what would it be? Always look on the bright side of life ;)

44. Favourite theme song to a TV show? Doctor Who, you can’t beat it

45. Harry potter movies or books? Books

46. You can make your OTP become canon but you’ll forget that tumblr exists. will you do it? Nah let me wallow in the frustration and angst a bit longer

47. Do you play an instrument and if so, what is it? I’m ok on guitar but I’ve not played in months

48. What is the worst way to die? Wtf kind of question is this?! Idk drowning?? Or suffocating maybe?? No actually starvation would be horrible af

49. If you could be entirely invisible for a day, what would you do? Probs sneak into loads of high security buildings. I wouldn’t actually do anything or steal stuff, I just want to see what goes on

50. If you could have personally witnessed anything in history what would it be? I’m sure I’ll think of a better one later but the one that just popped into my head was man landing on the mood. That’d be amazing to witness

51. If you could understand animals but you could never understand humans again, would you? Nope

52. What is your most favourite album currently? This might not count because its not a real album but I’ve been listening to the Best of Depeche Mode Vol. 1 on repeat for a week now

53. What is your favourite TV show character? Just been rewatching Blackadder so its got to be Flashheart of course WOOF WOOF

54. What is something you were obsessed with as a child? Playmobil. My collection was and is HUGE, and would probably be worth a fortune if I could ever bare to sell it

55. Do you have any tattoos/piercings and if not would you like any? No sorry I don't have any and I’m not particularly fussed about getting any in the future

56. Biggest pet peeves? Liars, hypocrites, people who walk slow, people who think their opinion is fact, I could go on......

And I tag: @jupitergrunge, @aredhels, @feanarofinwion and @lady-clairmont but only if you want to, I appreciate there are a HELL of a lot of questions

[purplesurveys]

667

Have you ever tried to walk on a moving vehicle and fallen over?: I’ve lost my balance while walking to an empty seat in jeepneys. Cos what usually happens is that the jeepney drivers resume driving as soon as you’re aboard the jeep, and so they don’t give a crap whether you’re already sitting or still on your way to a seat haha.

As for falling over, it’s probably happened to me as a kid when I still rode the school bus. We were always rowdy in the afternoon and would walk all over the bus, so I’m not ruling it out.

What is your favourite kind of bread? Is there any of that in your house?: BRIOCHE is the shit, yo.

Do you own any equipment to make cocktails, like jiggers or shakers?: Nah. My family – save for me lmao – isn’t big on drinking, so there’s never been a need for us to get equipment. We literally only have one bottle of Jack Daniel’s and like two bottles of wine in the house hahaha, a far cry from what I usually see in my friends’ houses.

How many times have you seriously injured yourself?: Can’t count them on one hand, that’s for sure. I’ve sprained my left foot from tripping in school (in front of an ongoing protest, to make things worse), had a toe or two caught in a bike’s pedal crank, a foot infection from the sea, scraped the skin from my palm when I had to use the bass drum in high school, shocked (also) my palm trying to plug something, and tripped multiple times as a kid and made my knee bleed.  

When was the last time you were a passenger in a car and sat in the back?: Sunday. My siblings and I were at the back, but it was also to drop my sister off at her dorm so the second half of the ride was just me and my brother.

Did you attend Sunday School as a child?: Bleck, no. Despite being forced to attend almost every single Sunday mass since I was 4, I’m glad my mom never made me attend anything beyond that.

What is the longest your hair has ever been?: It’s reached my hips many times - that’s the longest I let it be, because my hair tends to be dry and it’s not the prettiest sight when too much of it is happening lmao.

What about the shortest? (not including being a toddler or baby): When I was 4, 7, and 10 my mom had my hair cut all the way up to my ears because my hair is quite frizzy and she didn’t like that I didn’t have the tendency to tie my hair up in a ponytail. Naturally her response was to just have all my hair cut off lol, bt those three years were miserable as I hated the look and it made me feel like a boy. The third time she had it cut was the last one on my watch; I started tied my hair up in a ponytail every day if it meant she was hands off of my hair and how I wanted to look.

Have you ever smoked a cigarette?: LMAO y’all are gonna be SO disappointed. I smoke socially now. It started in January when I was out with high school friends and at one point literally every one of them headed out to have a smoke break; and I didn’t like being left alone inside the bar so I went out with them. I figured I was getting all the health effects from the secondhand smoke anyway so I asked for a cigarette and asked them to teach me how to use it. The rest is disappointing history.

Are/were you in the school band, and if so, what instrument did you play?: No, definitely not musically inclined.

Who does the grocery shopping in your household?: My mom. Sometimes my dad would do it when he’s home, but even then my mom provides the list of which things to buy.

What is the best thing you’ve ever bought at a thrift shop?: Not sure if it counts as a thrift shop but I once found a newer edition of the WWE Encyclopedia in a bookstore that solely sells donated/used books. I never get to see wrestling merch in real life – much less in thrift stores – so I didn’t even need to think when it came to buying it. It ended up being super worth it; those books typically cost P1,500 to P2,000, and if I’m not mistaken I got it for like P450.

Have you ever ordered an unusual drink at a bar?: Nah, I have my usuals. There was only one time I bought an uncommon drink and it was in Makati Shang – I barely remember anything about it but I do remember that it was topped with egg whites lol. Think I bought it just to feel fancy for once, even though my usuals were also in the menu.

What is your favourite thing about summer?: The beach, mainly. I’d mention getting the chance to rest, but I’m on my last year of college and have literally run out of summer vacations at this point.

When was the last time you went to your local library?: Just a kind disclaimer that we acually don’t have public libraries, because the government could not care the fuck less. As for my college’s library, I last went maybe a month ago? to pick up a book that had a chapter in it that I needed to read for a class.

Do you have any friends who work in retail?: I don’t think so.

Can you do a proper cartwheel?: Nooooooo. But I tried so many times as a kid. I also nearly broke my arms so many times as a kid, so there’s that.

Have you ever been pulled aside by security at the airport?: Not me, but my mom. We were in Shanghai and both my mom and the guards couldn’t figure out what it was inside her bag that kept making the machine beep. While I’ve forgotten what the thing was when we did find out, I do remember that it was such a stupid, small issue and the guards were being unnecessary bitches throughout the whole thing.

Are you a fast-thinker or a slow-thinker?: More on fast. I hate mulling over on anything for too long.

Do you watch The Simpsons regularly?: No. I always watched Family Guy more often.

If you were to donate to charity today, what would you donate to?: PAWS! They’re an NGO focused on animal welfare. I’ve always wanted to volunteer but just never have the time to.

What is your favourite card game and when was the last time you played it?: I dunno what it’s called anymore but Angela taught us a card game where we toss cards onto the the table and when the last two cards add up to a certain number, we race to see who can slam their hand onto the pile of cards haha. I’ve always been a slow adder so I always lose, but it’s still a fun game.

Would you consider yourself to be good at spelling and grammar?: Relatively better than a lot of Filipinos, yeah.

Who was the last person you cuddled with?: Idk, I only ever do this with my girlfriend.

Have you ever spoken or performed on stage in front of a large audience?: I’ve done both.

Did you ever go to summer camp when you were younger?: Nah, I doubt my mom would’ve let me go anyway as a kid. I did go to a sports clinic – I did swimming when I was 9.

What is your favourite seasonal candy? (only available at certain times): Meh I’m not a big candy fan. I can give you seasonal menu items, though hahah. I love McDonald’s’ McSpicy and curly fries and KFC’s Double Down. They haven’t been bringing McSpicy back for a long time now though :/

Are there any television shows you own in entirety on DVD or VHS?: I have a bootleg collection of the 80s show Perfect Strangers.

How far away from your house is the nearest gas station?: I’d say 10 minutes, but this is because our house is situated at the very end of our village. If we lived near the main gate, it would probably take like three minutes to get to the first gas station nearby.

Do you know anyone who is fluent in a second tongue?: Virtually all Filipinos are bilingual, and those who are trilingual closely trail by. In the city, most if not all know English/Filipino, but there are so many others who know English, Filipino, and the local language of their province, e.g. Bikolano, Ilonggo, Ilokano, Cebuano. Language is kind of a big deal here that you’re considered boring if you only know English and Filipino hahaha.

When was the last time you had a bubble bath?: Maybe a year ago.

Have you ever been pressured into doing drugs? Did you say yes or no?: No. At least not yet, lmao.