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AAAAAALLLL IIIII WAAAANNTTT FOR CHRISTMAAAAAASSSS IIIIIiisssss...
A sugar cookie #10 (help which boy is that idk) with whipped cream, sprinkles and chocolate drizzle please?
(I am SO HAPPY YOURE MAKING AN EVENT SERIOUSLY I love your blog!)
part I
order #10, sugar with whipped cream, sprinkles, chocolate drizzle
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ opening old wounds II
summary: ruggie's first love is leona's new fiance(e) tropes: royalty au, hurt/comfort, exes to lovers characters: ruggie additional info: romantic, gender neutral reader, reader is not yuu
"This isn't going to work,"
Leona rolls his eyes for the umpteenth time. "Since when are you so picky? It's not like you to reject free stuff,"
Ruggie crinkles his nose, looking down at the outfit Leona had "thrown together" for him. "Maybe to sell, but not for me... it's scratchy,"
"It's my old ceremonial robes, and it's what you're getting. Now shut your trap before you get us both in trouble,"
He sighs, dragging his feet behind Leona as he leads him through the darkened halls of the palace. The guards are quiet and imposing as ever, sharp eyes following the prince and his servant.
Ruggie is thankful when they finally make it outside, away from the prying eyes of the palace staff, but they're still the least of his worries.
"I don't like this,"
"Yeah, you've told me about a million times. But you and I aren't accomplishing anything if you keep whining,"
"Why do we have to accomplish anything, anyway! I like my job here!" Ruggie insists, his heart racing as they get closer to the gardens.
Leona gives him a wayward glance. "You really wanna be stuck here forever?"
He has nothing to say to that. Leona grunts and stops in front of a wall, covered in blooming flowers and vines. The night is mild, with a warm breeze, and the stars are out. It's the perfect time and place for a romantic rendezvous... unless you're Ruggie.
"Don't look so nervous. It's just a date. They're not gonna eat you,"
"That's not really what I'm worried about,"
Leona rolls his eyes (again) and gives Ruggie a boost over the wall. "See 'ya later. Don't screw this up,"
And then he's gone, and it's just the sky, the flowers, the soft sound of running water, Ruggie, and... you.
You look good.
Ruggie bites his lip at the thought. Why is this so hard?!
His grandma always told him that time heals, but how can he be sure of that? What if he's just tearing off the bandage and opening old wounds?
You were perfect. You were then, and you are now.
And he's... well, he's himself.
"It's you,"
Ruggie hadn't even noticed you, the way you noticed him. He'd been caught between memories (crushed between them, really).
Still, he forces himself to grin.
"Yeah. I hope you weren't expecting a prince or anything,"
You smile back. It's friendly, but cold. Enough to send a shiver through his body, anyway.
"Not really. I still recognize your handwriting, you know,"
Oh. Right. "Shishi... should have guessed,"
"You wanted to see me?"
That question, simple as it was, leaves him at a loss for words. Did he want to see you? He wasn't quite sure yet.
"...Uh, yeah. I thought you might wanna... talk,"
"About us,"
He nods. You were always good at that- reading him. Even when he didn't want to be read.
You take a seat on an ornately carved stone bench. It smells like Leona- damn it, that's why he picked this place for your date? Because he naps here?!
Ruggie sits on the grass.
"How have 'ya been? I mean- pretty good, huh? Marrying a prince and all that," he says, flicking a beetle off his shoulder. "Must be pretty exciting."
"I guess so..."
You sound kinda bummed out, he thinks. Damn curiosity...
"What's with the face? Isn't this what you always wanted?"
"I never said that,"
"You never had to,"
He crosses his arms and leans against the bench, looking anywhere but at you- the grass, the walls, the starry sky...
Ruggie didn't always believe in all that stuff about the old kings in the stars, but he did then. And he asks them, is there any way I'll get out of this with my dignity?
The silence holds until you speak again.
"It was nice,"
Ruggie smiles, if only a little. "It was, huh?"
Thoughts of hot summer mornings, when you were both younger, when Ruggie served at your palace instead of Leona's. Warmed by the sun and each other's company. His jokes, your laugh, both of your hopes and dreams becoming one.
"It was never gonna last, though,"
"You said that," you say, drawing your knees to your chest. "But how are you so sure?"
Ruggie shrugs. "Cause guys like me don't get people like you. Even if I stayed, you woulda been married off to some prince or duke or something, and I woulda been left in the dust, anyhow,"
"So that's why you left,"
He shrugs again. You furrow your brow and look at your lap, thinking, but not speaking. It goes on like this for some time.
"Don't worry," he's the first to speak. "Leona is real nice. He seems a little scary at first, but he's secretly a big softie."
You smile, again, if only a little.
"I don't want to marry the prince,"
What a thought. A million people would kill for your life, your position. To marry into a royal, stinking rich family. He almost giggles at the absurdity of it.
"And why's that?"
"Because I want you,"
Ruggie finally looks at you. Damn it. Damn your ability to read him, to know just what he's thinking.
"I still do," you say, hands in your lap. "I never stopped thinking that you'd come back, you know. When I saw you here, I..."
"Don't say that,"
You look back at him. He crosses his arms. "You can't say that to me. You're making me... you just... don't say those things,"
"But I-"
"Don't make me fall in love with you again," he says. "I'll get tossed aside no matter what. We both know that."
You stand, suddenly, and look down at him with your own arms crossed.
"Don't you dare say those things about me. I didn't ask to be born into this life as much as you didn't ask to be born into yours. I hate that you still think of me like that- like I'm some villain! Is it so hard to believe that I care about you? That you're not just some affair to me? I would call off the engagement with Leona right now. All you have to do is ask,"
Ruggie stares, wide-eyed, speechless again. There are many thoughts going through his head now, and though some are terribly corny, most are even even worse than that- they're hopeful.
"What will it take for you to trust me, Ruggie?"
He stands, slowly, meeting your gaze with his own.
"You'd really throw that all out for me?"
"Yes,"
You sound so... decisive. Affirmative. As if the answer is obvious.
Ruggie looks at his feet, if only to think, and you tilt his chin up with two fingers to bring his gaze back to the stars.
"Just say the word,"
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hiii! i came across your blog yesterday, and i love your advice. that's why i feel like you would be the best person to ask these questions that I've been having for the longest time (sorry, long read ahead).
I've studied LOA for the past 2 years or so, and even though i have a good understanding of it, there are some things that always trip me up when it comes to shifting.
how do i deal with waking up to the 3d? yes, by assuming that you are in your dr and that you shifted last night. that's the most logical answer. but even though i know that, sometimes it is a lot easier said than done. for example, a few days ago i wanted to manifest shifting by simply deciding i could shift on command and that i am there. i could be 100% sure the day before that it would happen. the whole day, and even a few days after that I'd stay in that state of being a master shifter, and i would feel amazing because of it. but it's like there always comes a point where i wake up to the 3d and i get discouraged (yes, i acknowledge that i am manifesting that reality by saying this, but i finally have to get this off my chest). my thoughts get all messed up and i start spiraling, returning to my previous state. i start questioning myself a bit and feel down. the main reason for that being time.
it took me so so long to figure out this issue about myself. I'd be like: how long is it gonna take? when will it happen? i know i have it in the 4d but when will it appear in the 3d? having it in the 4d isn't enough, i need to have it in the 3d right now. stuff like that. i find it very difficult to formulate my thoughts, but basically I'm in a spiral of:
watching a video/reading a post about LOA/shifting that reminds me of how easy it is -> applying LOA to shifting/any desire in a way that feels good for a few days at most -> starting to question myself after a few days because it hasn't shown up yet in the 3d (which is caused by me forgetting the role the 3d plays and how LOA works) even though i did everything "right" (e.g. letting go of control or the outcome, deciding, not wavering, etc.) -> falling back into a state where i question how i can shift, what i am doing wrong, etc. -> repeat
how can i break out of this cycle?
i think the main problem here is time and in general the 3d.
i know that the 3d is not a measure of my success, only made up of my current assumptions etc. i know that. but it's like i forget it once i step into the state i wanna be in and stay there for an extended period of time.
i always hear people say that "time isn't real" but i still don't really know what that means, how to apply it or how to internalize it. i really need that mental "click" to finally understand it and use that concept in my favor. because my problem is that with manifesting/shifting, after a while i start asking questions about why it's taking so long the 3d. for example, most nights i fall asleep with the assumption that I'll wake up in my dr (while letting go of control and not wavering) the next morning. but when it doesn't happen eventually, i start to question why, because since time comes from consciousness aka me, it should work in my favor.
I'm honestly so lost right now and i would really appreciate some help because I'm spiraling again. I've known about shifting since 2020 but only realized how ridiculously easy it is after joining tumblr this year and yup, i acknowledge that i am desperate to shift, preferably right now. it's not something i admit to anyone or myself because that's basically continuing to tell a story i don't want to experience (a surefire way to fail), but it is unfortunately the truth as of right now.
thank you for reading, i know this was a lot to get through!! (*^^*)
So pause for a second, because I’m going to tell you something I hope to ingrain in the mind of everyone who sends me an ask—and that you need to remember before reading everything I’m about to say:
YOU ALREADY KNOW HOW TO SHIFT. The ability is inside you right now. The moment you read this, your mind already knows how to shift. Everyone does.
The moment you accept this, you solve half of your problems.
And then you tell me, "But if I know how to shift, why isn’t the 3D reflecting that?"
Well, yeah. You painted the house, and now you’re sitting there watching the paint dry.
Look, watching the 3D closely and looking for results isn’t a problem for some people. Some can assume, “I’m already in my DR,” open their eyes, and BAM—they’re in their DR.
Some people assume, “I will shift tonight,” and just like that, they shift that night.
Some people let go of their DRs, stop putting them on a pedestal, and they shift.
Some people clutch their DRs close to their heart until their knuckles turn white—and they shift.
It sounds a lot like you’re forcing yourself into a method of applying the Law of Assumption that doesn’t serve you. Why?? If you recognize that your issue is focusing on time and constantly checking the 3D, work around it. Remove time from your shifting journey.
I don’t like assuming I already have something, then checking the 3D and not seeing it there. Hell, I can shift on command, and yet, if I were to lay in bed right now and tell myself, “I’m in my DR,” I guarantee you I wouldn’t shift. Why? Because that doesn’t work for me.
My dude, change the way you affirm. If affirming in the present (“I already shifted”) doesn’t work for you, change it! Say, “I’m going to shift.” If even that hasn’t been working, let go of implementing time into your affirmations.
Change “I’m going to wake up in my DR in the morning” to “I’m going to wake up in my DR at some point because I KNOW I can shift.”
Change “I’m in my DR right now” to “I can’t wait to be in my DR.”
Remove time from your affirmations and assumptions, because that’s clearly the problem here. Instead of trusting that you’ll shift tonight, trust yourself because you already know how to shift. Or trust your mind because it knows how to shift. Trust your awareness because it knows how to shift.
“I fall asleep with the assumption that I'll wake up in my DR (while letting go of control and not wavering) the next morning.”
If this were completely true, you wouldn’t be sending me this ask. You wouldn’t be doubting yourself as much as you just did in everything you typed. Truly letting go means releasing the need to see results in the 3D.
So, take time out of your assumptions. From now on, say “I will shift.” Or say, “I already know how to shift.”
Your brain then goes: “……???….uh….” looking at the 3D all confused “When? We haven't shifted!”
And you tell it, “It doesn’t fucking matter because I’m going to shift eventually.”
Now, let’s say hypothetically, one week passes and you haven’t shifted. One month passes, and you haven’t shifted. Two months pass, and you haven’t shifted.
And then you come back and say, “Clover, why the heck haven’t I shifted yet? It’s been (insert amount of time). You told me to remove time as an expectation, so why haven’t I shifted yet??”
And I’ll smile at you and ask, “So you’ve been counting the days?”
Let me tell you something about letting go—and hypothetically, ignoring the 3D.
Treat your ability to shift like your fortune. You have a fortune sitting in your bank account right now, and you’re rich. Do you think a rich person checks their bank account every hour to confirm they’re still rich?
"Well yeah, Clover, because a rich person’s reality already reflects that, they’re sitting in a mansion with all their riches."
Your fortune, what makes you rich, is your ability to shift. You already know how to shift. Shifting isn’t something you learn how to do, just like breathing isn’t something you learn how to do. Just like chewing isn’t something you learn how to do. It is an integral part of every human being. If you have awareness, then the ability to shift exists within you.
You don’t learn shifting—you learn yourself.
You learn what makes you shift. What makes you manifest easily. What makes you assume easily. What kind of affirmations your subconscious doesn’t argue against. What makes your self-concept skyrocket.
Because everyone is different, everyone shifts differently. What works for Person A might not work for Person B. What works for Person B might not work for Person C, and so on.
Even my reply to you, it might not resonate with you. But that’s not my fault, and it’s not yours. If that's the case, your job is to look elsewhere—and, in the best-case scenario, look internally because that’s where the answers always are.
Let’s go over your fix options because I just yapped a lot:
YOU ALREADY KNOW HOW TO SHIFT.
Remove time from your affirmations and assumptions. Removing time from your shifting process makes it so you have nowhere in the 3D to look.
Stop paying attention to the 3D and pay attention to yourself because what’s going to shift is your awareness, not the damn 3D. Every time you catch yourself thinking, “Oh, but it’s not showing up in the 3D,” remind yourself:
A) You already know how to shift.
B) Shifting is something you can do.
C) It could happen at any moment, so why should anything else matter?
If you were promised a million bucks from a 100% trustworthy source, would you spiral?
One more thing before I wrap this up:
It could be that actively using the Law of Assumption isn’t what works best for you. Maybe you work better with visualizing. Maybe you induce the feeling of being in your DR or being a "master shifter." Maybe subliminals work better for you. There is a world of options out there, and it is completely useless to force yourself to do something that's only bringing frustration in the end. Because there is no singular way to shift. There is no singular way to manifest. And sometimes—for some people—while the Law of Assumption is always true, focusing on it directly isn’t what serves you.
#reality shifting#shiftblr#shifting#shifting blog#shifting community#shifting methods#law of assumption#shifting motivation#shifters#reality shifter#shifting realities#reality shift
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Sorry for dropping off the planet for a bit
Like everyone else its been a lot for the last couple years, but the last year especially came to a head in some manners.
Long story short; - I broke off and ran home from a 7+ year relationship I no longer felt mentally or emotionally safe in - Because of it I am trying to dealing with and work through a lot of issues, both personal and social - Emotions suck.
Not to mention all of the shit going on in the world.
I wanna get back to what I was doing, stuff that made me happy and safe, feeling like I'm allowed to be. I wanna say I feel safe here, in trying to mention all this, but it still feels like a hard stretch.
But.. I wanted to give you guys an update, for whatever its worth.
I wanna get back to working on the comic, GOD do I really want to. I have a story to tell.
I just need to find me first again. Then hopefully I can find the drive to do it.
Be kind to yourselves and others. Do what you can to make the world around you better. Things will be ok again. Have a bit of art since.. well.. art blog.
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Intro - Odile's Friend Quest!
💫: It was something about the papers...
#isat au#in stars and time#isat#try again: isat au#my art#ask blog#isat spoilers#sasasaap spoilers#isat loop#sasasaap siffrin#Apologizes if this lil part feels “rushed”#There's not really much to work with story wise that yall wouldn't already know#Buuuuut I don't wanna skip ahead#Feels cheep#So you get this!#Small update comic that basically summerizes the Intro to Odiles friend quest!
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can't wait til I start this stupid job so I won't have to be doing commissions all the fucking time to buy groceries, this shut sucks the joy out of art so much. I wanna be drawing ultrakill stuff & personal art & doing crafts & reading books but every time I sit down to do something for me I'm thinking about the fact that I should be doing commissions. I'm so glad I didn't go into art as an actual career, I would hate myself so much forever
#i just want art to be able to be a hobby again aaaaa#i can talk about it here bc nobody who's commissioning me knows this is my blog. ive gotten like 2 commissions off tumblr ever lmfao#and tbh i am tired of pretending to be enthusiastic about drawing other peoples ocs. im so tired of customer service voice#im not gonna lie most of the time i do not care about your blorbo. i'm glad you're having fun im happy for u but i just need money#im happy you like my art enough to pay for it but im so TIRED#being self employed sucks like yeah i can choose my own hours but im also always thinking 'i could be working now' and i HATE IT#i don't wanna make it sound like i'm gonna starve or anything I can ask my parents for money if i really need to#im not like in genuine poverty or the biggest victim of capitalism here i just have a family that's deeply unpleasant to interact with#but im starting a half-time job at the university physics department at the end of the month and that'll be enough to cover Being Alive!!!#and will also hopefully be something i am genuinely interested in & enjoy with people who seem relatively cool#(they're gonna let me into the machine shop!! im gonna get to build things!! they were genuinely interested in my robotics experience!!)#so once art stops being the Thing Temporarily Feeding Me i'm hoping i'll be able to draw more fun stuff again. & maybe even enjoy comms#it's somehow easier to be enthusiastic about commissions when i know the money will be going to buy a Cool Sword instead of food
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I just don't think an author should edit the racist (or otherwise problematic) shit they wrote out of an edition of their book, let the other editions go out of print, and not at least leave a note acknowledging that they made the edits because they wrote something problematic and they apologize, but if you're buying this book you should probably know that it had content you may find offensive.
#romance novel blogging#people are discussing the kleypas edits again and i'm just very tired of my fellow whites going#'but see i don't wanna read that racism! i'm glad she's editing it out'#lol like..... maybe the issue is less the edits and more the lack of ownership...?#maybe the edits when made without a note suggest less of a moral motive and more of a 'make the books sellable' motive#and it's probably SOME OF BOTH#god knows i can't speak for her#but if you don't admit you did something and attempt to erase it idk man will never sit well with me#(AND KEV AND CAM ARE STILL WEIRDLY WRITTEN!!!!!)#idk i also think that people especially white people need to sometimes reconcile w the fact that authors we love#have often written shit we don't agree with#especially if the author has been working forever#and i say this as someone who loves kleypas's books#i'll also say that the depiction of joyce in my favorite kleypas book dreaming of you is messed up!#there's some really weird homophobic shit that happens when she threatens to SA sara to see what derek was getting out of her#i would rather know that was in there than not
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when i was in highschool one o my biggest coping mechanisms was drawing all the kids i hated getting killed and eaten and killed. and well. time is a slowly ascending spiral. you will find patterns.(i work as a blackjack dealer. gamblers are FASCINATING
#cw blood#luckys original content#ITS SMALL BUT ITS ART SO IT GOES ON THE ART BLOG#also wwaooooww its meee its my lil persona!!! i dont draw myself enough....#anyway i have bigger things in the works. im slowly but surely chipping away at a pd thumbnail for that pd thumbnail project#FINALLY COLORING. BUT COLORING IS SO HARD AND I HAVNT BEEN IN THE COLORING MOOD#SO IVE JUST BEEN MAKING RLY DUMB COMICS INSTEAD... OOPS..#idk if anything finished n polished will be posted here anytime soon. BUT i post wips of everything on my twitter#and i post jrwi exclusive wips on my slucky blog. you may look at those if u have Truck Art Wishdrawls. as many do. as many do#THIS BLACKJACK JOB IS RLY AWESOME BTW DONT GET ME WRONG#i work three 12-hour days ina row. i gotta take an hourlong bus up to the depths o the mountains and then#i get to stay in this delightful lil hotel that was built in an ooold hospital. its a whole casino town. and an OLD one at that#ITS GORGEOUS HERE. last week my bus home was delayed for 2 hours#so i finally got the chance to head to other casinos and try drinkin n gambling. lost ten bucks to a pretty girl. NOT the first time#i rlly wanna try it again!!! i love interracting w ppl and i love being inebriated in public bc im just so sweet and pleasant and friendly#and pretty girls LLOOOOVEE MEEEEE i think i just need to go to gay bars more#but theres fucking NONE HERE. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im collectin comrade queers up here tho#we wanna make a Group but we just gotta come up witha name first. i need something weird and strange#yknow i remember being in highschool. and being miserable n unmedicated. my mommas ultimatum was that;#if i dont drop out of highschool; i dont need to move out. she probably wouldntve kicked me out anyway bc my mommas sweet like that but#she REALLY wanted me to graduate. and i remember dreading that i might never do that#i remember feeling like the Resident Idiot. sweet but so so fucking dumb. it took me 7 years of strife n stress before i finally graduated#i remember worrying back then that i might not ever be able to handle myself out there. that i'd be too dependant on others#AND HERE I AM. DID U KNOW I WAS LOOKIN AT HOUSES A WHILE AGO? IM AN ADULT AND IM WWINNINNNGGGGGGG#IM RUNNING OUTA ROOM BUT HERES MY ADVICE TO YOU. BC I KNOW UR FUCKING SCARED TOO. THE ONE THING THAT SAVED ME.#THAT KEPT ME FROM SINKING INTO DESPAIR IS REMEMBERING ONE THING: ITS LITERALLY JUST LIKE VIDEO GAMES#MOST PPL YOU CAN JUST WALK UP TO N ASK A QUESTION N THEYLL ANSWER. THEYRE ALL NPCS THEYRE NOT REAL#LIKE IF U WALK INTO A BANK AND ASK HOW A DEBIT CARD WORKS THEY WILL HELP YOU#AND IF YOU THINK THEY HAVE ULTERIOR MOTIVES RELATING TO MONEY. YOU CAN ASK THE CUSTOMERS TOO. ITS JUST LIKE VIDEO GAMES#ANYWAY STAY SAFE KIDS HAVE FUNNNNN. IM GOING TO GO DO DRUGS NOW. HOPE U CAN DO DRUGS SOON TOO. I LOVE YOU
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idk if it’s worth it to post this but i did deactivate blumisiu. rip 🪦💔 putting this here just in case people get Confused.
i reblogged all my works on @blumisiu-archive, though <3
#it’s complicated but not really.#i did have my (many) happy moments on that blog. and often times it was a safe and comfy space for me.#and somewhere i DID want to be. but. there was always a lingering feeling of unhappiness and disappointment and dissatisfaction.#with my writing and all that.#and i just really felt that no matter how long of a break i took i wouldnt be able to go back on there and feel happy#my writing has unfortunately died out for the time being lol and yeah. that paired with how i was feeling before just sort of solidified#the decision for me#i’m so grateful for all the love that i received on my works :( so grateful for every mootie patootie i met ❤️#but yeah. idk it was just the right thing to do for me.#perhaps writer vivi will make a come back! maybe one day! maybe even blumisiu will return…#BUT i do know that i wanna make a k-pop blog again. sometime soon!#just to post moodboards and other silly stuff and like i said before perhaps my writing again#but yeah :P that’s that#♡ dear diary…
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You ever realize you are literally going to art college just to draw Fullmetal Alchemist doodles over and over again in your off time or is it just me
#I have an essay and I am trying SO HARD to make it fma related y’all got no clue#I wanna rant about the mistreatment of the original anime#though I may just do it here instead if it doesn’t work out#anyways#I really do just be drawing Ed over and over again in my sketchbook#he’s good for pose practice tho#it’s not hard to make him dynamic cause he already is#so yeah#fma blog#fmab#fma#fullmetal alchemist#edward elric#fullmetal#fma brotherhood#ed elric#fullmetal alchemist brotherhood#fullmetal alchimist brotherhood
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hi again 👋👋👋 anyway i would LOVE to hear any thoughts you might have about fake pep and his interactions with other characters if you're amenable to that! i love him and there is So Much going on there and you always have stellar hcs so id love to hear them!!
Ive been shying away from drawing/writing anything with fake peppino bc frankly ur right; there IS so much going on with him 😭 so much so that it almost feels impossible to settle on something concrete 😭 This is also bc I link Fake Peppi and Pizzahead together, which means I also have to work on characterizing that punk 😭😭😭 But I will still try to get my thoughts out
(OKAY THIS IS REM FROM THE FUTURE OR PAST OR SOMETHING AND IM HERE TO SAY THAT I RAMBLED SO FUCKING LONG THAT I DIDNT EVEN GET TO THE ACTUAL ASK OF THIS FUCKING ASK!!! I JUST TALKED ABOUT FAKE PEPPI AND DIDNT WRITE A SINGLE INTERACTION. SO UM. THIS ASK IS NOW ABOUT FAKE PEPPI AND ONLY FAKE PEPPI IM SO SORRY 😭😭😭😭😭 ILL GO MORE IN DEPTH W DYNAMICS N SUCH SOME DAY BUT NOT TODAY)
Fake Peppino is Not the first clone; hes one of the Last ones Pizzahead worked on. The ones you see in the war level are the closest, appearance wise, to Peppino, but they arent the brightest and will often behave like [insert test subject] but with Peppinos face on it. The emphasis on appearance first resulted in some physically identical, but otherwise, dull witted clones.
Fake Peppi was the first attempt at replicating Peppinos actual personality over appearance and it works moderately well, its just that. Hes a little funky lookin. Which is okay! Its the first attempt !! He’ll get more time to try again! They give Fake Peppi a little run down shop to manage (that he almost immediately converts into a pizzeria) while they work on perfecting the clones. But then Peppino actually storms the tower after being threatened w the Pizzeria Begone Beam, and hes tearing through portals so quickly that Pizzahead literally has No Time to try and work on these new clones. Fake Peppi is the First of this new experimental line of clones, and hes one of the Last. (Said bc i do intend on making my own little peppi clone someday heehee)
Fake Peppi passes as a pretty Normal creature. Hes a bit Tall but not absurdly above average. I drew him pretty goopy and lanky on my first (and only ) attempt at drawing him, but the more i think about it, the more I want him to just be a taller, slightly offputting Peppino. I like the idea someone had of Fake Peppi mimicking the stylized, cartoonish logo design of the pizzeria, so hes got a bit of a doofy lookin face. Its very round, with soft looking eyes and permanent blush on his cheeks. When hes trying to look Less Scary (bc he is a bit aware now that hes a little Off), you can see his mouth on his face like a Normal person. When hes relaxed and/or unfocused, it kind of just. Disappears. It makes his face look kind of like a little butt or a peach heehee
Fake Peppi acts pretty similarly to Real Peppino. Hes quick to anger, and quick to frighten. Hes a bit of a goof and he likes to entertain (which completely threw pizzahead off; hes like thats. Not right? Is it??). He has more or less the same mental capacity as Peppino, shares similar skills and hobbies, and enjoys the same kinds of food that Peppino does (with mild variation). Hes very relaxed and easygoing with a tendency to act a fool and be a little playful, which leads Pizzahead to believe that despite what hes personally seen (from stalking this poor man), Peppino is Also inherently a bit of a fool and a little playful and also capable of being relaxed and easygoing.
Fake Peppi is prone to the same kind of anxiety and panic attacks that Peppino has, only he does not have decades of experience with them to know how to manage it. So the time he spends with Pizzahead is Not the smoothest. The combination of Just Being Created and having Crippling Panic Attacks leaves him with an almost Blank Slate, memory wise, by the time hes left with the pizzeria. When Pizzahead visits Fake Peppi again to give him the lift key; hes basically a stranger to him :0
(Peppino tries to help with some grounding techniques for panic attacks, but since they Both default to self soothing stims, hes not that much help 😭)
Conversations are as smooth as they can be with his garbled speech; he can understand what hes being told, and he will write down what he Wants to say with pen and paper. Eventually, he ‘upgrades’ to a phone with proper text to speech, so he uses that quite often. I know the backwards speech is canon (or at the very least extremely popular) but its very hard for me to read and parse in my head, so i am deciding against that 😭
Hes hard to understand bc despite having a similar vocal pitch to Peppino (a bit high), it rubberbands in a way that makes it sound incredibly croakey and scratchy. The more excitable he is, the more incoherent he becomes. With (immense) effort, he can speak clearly, but its almost as difficult as someone trying to suppress their stutter; hes much more comfortable using his phone to talk. I can see him learning sign language at some point; Peppino does Not know sign language but he IS capable of learning, which means Fake Peppi is Also capable of learning.
Overall Fake Peppi is Peppino with enough variance to give him his own personality. Some of the things he does shines a bit of a light on Peppinos personality; its like, if Peppino DIDNT have to struggle with a failing business and crippling debt and being drafted into a fucking war, what kind of Peppino would you get? And as a surprise to Pizzahead, its a relatively sweet and goofy guy!! And if he took the time to interact with the Real Peppino instead of an idealized version of him (like pepperman and vigilante have started doing) then he would see that. Oh well.
#answered#chattin#fake peppino#long post#it was SO fucking long#i literally scrapped like 4 paragraphs this was so gargantuan#also#tibli i am so fucking sorry#i was like ‘interactions; got it!’#‘i guess i should share my thoughts on him so that the interactions make sense’#and then i wrote a fucking essay#and i would STILL have to write the interactions 😭😭😭#so i think i will just talk about him more to make up for it#i want to draw some stuff w them but im doing soooo much comm work to afford an upcoming trip#im going to see my sister :)! i already paid for the ticket but i wanna get these people their sketches#anyway it means i have no time to doodle#so these asks are really the only way i get to still engage w this silly game#so there will be a lot more chattin on this blog again heehee
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wink blink look !!
#art#my art#artists on tumblr#digital art#sona#ouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhgghhhh#am i RIGHT guys hfhvs#:33#//not many thoughts recently#not many thoughts for a while actually lol#must've talked myself weary! huh!#/let me try at this though - i feel like i have some little part of my brain that's all stopped up#it's been like that for a minute !#/ah but a question - do you ever stand by a bit of forest and hear what are distinctly Whispers ?#i know it's definitely the wind but it's fun to think it's anything else lol :>>#ghosts or fairies or the road down the hill for whatever reason#/oh and speaking of hearing i got a weird + shrill + loud tone in my ear the other day and it just didn't happen again#a sudden EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE and then it stopped lmao#funky stuff man. wonder what's up with that hfhs#//anyway i'm working on my artfight references rn lol :)#i've finished one! what a miracle!! hfsh-#it looks a lot better than the one last year like Wow. don't think the same person made these you know what i mean hfh#//ah i've also started using padlet for realsies this time :>#it's a neat spot - it's gonna be great to just have the palettes i need on another device loll#that's the biggest problem i have on this planet! having to scroll my blog for palettes is not the most fun thing hfsh#/anyway gonna get back to it!!#i'm sort of tired but i Really wanna make kira and hid's this yearrr#they are very ~+~+~ <3 ~+~+~ to me lol :>>#so toodles ! here i go again hfhsv
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Headcanons and short drabbles for my BSD Fix-it AU
!Contains Spoilers for the whole DoA arc!
TWs: Mentions of OCD, mentions of panic attacks, mentions of crying, mentions of slight gun violence, mentions of screaming, mentions of heavy injuries, mentions of medical related stuff (p.ex.infirmaries), mentions of chronic pain
All characters might be ooc.
Pairings: Shin Soukoku, Bramcraft, at first Ranpoe and implied developing Mushiranpoe,later mentioned Mushiranpoe, Chuusigzai, lightly implied past!Fyozai (it’s up to interpretation if romantically or platonically but it’s written more in a platonic way), implied Tachihigugin, Fyolai, engaged!Suegiku, Montcott
The ADA managed to defeat Fukuchi and obtained the page
Fyodor and Nikolai got away though.
The moment Sigma wanted to shoot Fyodor, Nikolai appeared next to Fyodor through one of his overcoat portals and pulled the other with him through it.
It did send Sigma into a panic attack and Dazai too got nervous because of this but as soon as the ADA managed to obtain the page, he got a lot calmer and told Atsushi to write that Fyodor loses his ability on the page, knowing that it not only would send the russian into several existence crises but also knowing that the chance that he would try to erase all ability users would become much lower then.
Dazai knew Fyodor for years and he knew how much his ability tortured him since his early childhood. He knew that Punishment plagued him and took over a lot.
Fyodor’s ability was strong and was just as intelligent as the one who wielded it so that his ability slowly but surely started to affect his mind a lot wasn’t unexpected.
When Dazai touched Fyodor for the first time years ago, the other basically melted into his touch after Dazai touched him despite his threats that he would kill the other if he would dare to touch him.
The heavy weight of Punishment, the sharp and piercing feeling of the powerful ability raging inside of him whenever he felt threatened as well as its influence on his mind faded to nothing for the first time in his life.
When they met again, Dazai was almost sure that Punishment affected the other’s mind completely since he had gotten more cruel and heartless but also because he worked so tirelessly on his goal to erase all ability users so now he was almost completely sure that erasing only Fyodor’s ability would stop the other.
He was right. Upon feeling his ability fading away until it was completely gone, Fyodor went, just like Dazai expected, through a whole existence crises
With his ability fading, Fyodor also slowly gained full consciousness over his mind again and fully realized what had happened, even though he couldn’t remember events where Punishment had taken over his consciousness nearly completely.
After everything, the russian spent weeks in his bed, not only recovering from his physical injuries he had from their prison escape game but also because his mind struggled to process the fact that Punishment was gone and that he was only Fyodor now. No Crime. No Punishment. No vessel for Punishment. Just Fyodor.
He also had to process the fact that he gained full consciousness again and had to deal with all the guilt because of what happened which was eating him up alive for quite some time.
The one who took care of him the whole time was no other than Nikolai.
Nikolai who had put his clown attire away by now. Nikolai, who violently shook Fyodor after saving him, screaming at him for not getting out of his mind and for stopping him from being free, screaming that he hated him so much. Nikolai who had held a gun to Fyodor’s head, hand shaking before dropping the gun, letting his friend go and kneeling in front of him, sobbing. Nikolai who slowly learned to accept that he loved Fyodor and who slowly tried to believe that he could be free together with Fyodor.
He knew that Fyodor returned his feelings but he also knew that Fyodor waited until Nikolai had everything sorted out.
And Fyodor did wait. He waited patiently and eventually, when Nikolai was ready and both got more stable as well as used to their new quiet life, living undercover and when Fyodor was physically fully and mentally partly recovered, they got together in one cold winter night.
Their relationship was beautiful actually and it was based on mutual deep understanding and a bond which already started to form when they both met while living on the streets in the Ukraine as young teens.
Dazai was still secretly searching for the whereabouts of Fyodor and Nikolai for nearly two years, despite knowing that it was nearly impossible to find the russian if he didn’t wanted to be found, scared that his plan didn’t carry out exactly as he hoped that it would but after nearly four years passed, he was almost completely sure that the rat and his clown wouldn’t try to start a war again.
Sigma and Bram joined the ADA
Sigma’s entrance actually started with the elevator crashing down and he passed it by staying on Dazai’s and the ADA’s side, nearly managing to shoot Fyodor, instead of running away or going back to the Decay of Angels.
Bram on the other hand, kind of had to stay with the ADA but he actually didn’t mind.
Aya begged the agency not to kill Bram and eventually they gave in and gave Bram an entrance exam for multiple reasons, one of them being that he can’t be on his own, slashed in half like this but also that if they would pull out the sword, he would have no control over his ability, just like he told Aya so they somehow needed to keep his ability at bay.
After Bram passed the entrance exam and managed to prove his good motives, which wasn’t that hard for him since he never wanted to cause a vampire outbreak to happen and got forced into biting people/since he joined the DoA against his own will, Dazai touched the sword, nullifying it, so that they could pull out the sword without hurting Bram any further.
With the sword out of him, he was able to regenerate his body in a matter of a few days.
At first he even refused to Dazai touching it, scared that his ability might lash out completely like he had told Aya but Fukuzawa’s ability kept his vampirism at bay and allowed him to control it much better
By now he has a full body again and can make his own decisions again without being bound to anyone but he still has to use a cane since after not walking/not even having a full body for literal centuries he still struggles with walking and kind of has to relearn it.
He also has to relearn how to use his hands for the exact same reasons.
However, he can also transform into a large bat again so he usually chills, hanging upside down from the ceiling or hanging upside down on the side of Sigma’s desk, sleeping in his bat form. (Sigma put a little metal bar on the side of his desk specifically for Bram.)
Sigma and Bram kind of get along pretty well. They already got along back when they were both in the DoA but could barely talk/get to know each other since they barely saw each other outside of the meetings of the organization.
Besides this, Sigma was nearly always busy in his casino and Bram was very well hidden and most of the time guarded by Fukuchi in some way.
Fukuchi got defeated completely.
The Hunting Dogs had to go under police investigation but after they were proven to be innocent and to be not involved with the DoA, they got a new leader. They couldn’t split the Hunting Dogs up since they would die without the operations.
Jounou and Tecchou got engaged a few months after the war against the DoA.
Atsushi brought Bram and Aya to Dazai where he could touch the vampire, nullifying his ability and turning the people who had been turned into vampires back into humans.
Yosano saved multiple lives that day since the injuries which some people had before they got turned into a vampire returned shortly after they were fully human again.
Upon seeing Akutagawa again, alive, healthy and fully human again, Atsushi thought he wouldn’t believe his eyes at first but only a couple of seconds later after standing there like frozen, staring at the other, Atsushi dashed forwards, tackle-hugging Akutagawa with such a strength and with such a speed that he knocked both of them over so that they both fell on the floor.
Atsushi hugged Akutagaw so tightly that the other heard he would hear his ribs crack before Atsushi sat up a bit, yelling at Akutagawa for being so stupid for sacrificing himself for Atsushi and asking if if he could imagine how it felt to fight against him as a mindless vampire.
He really tried not to cry but he failed. Miserably.
When he tackle-hugged Akutagawa for the first time, tears where already in the corner of his eyes and upon feeling the other again, hearing him breathe and smelling the familiar faint smell of tea like which the other nearly always smelled, he couldn’t stop the tears from falling and it got worse when he was yelling at Akutagawa but that didn’t stop him from doing so.
Akutagawa just listened to him quietly (it drove Atsushi a bit crazy to be completely honest)
Eventually Atsushi actually talked himself that much in rage, that he ended up confessing accidentally to Akutagawa which caused him to shut up immediately staring shocked at Akutagawa who looked at him with wide eyes too, before hectically trying to scramble away and get up to give Akutagawa space since he was nearly completely sure that the other was disgusted now but Akutagawa actually grabbed him before he could get up fully and pulled him back so that he lied on top of him again before hugging him, telling him that he felt the same causing Atsushi to start to sob all over again.
Akutagawa lied there with a faint smile, slowly rubbing the bag of the other and he would never admit it but he too, had watery eyes
Normally he would have never reacted like this or would have shown such a soft side of him but after what happened, even he couldn’t stay as cold as usual
Soukoku watched them with little smiles on their faces, how they continued to lie on the floor curled up together in a tight hug, talking quietly about everything.
Fyodor’s downfall actually started with underestimating Soukoku’s bond and with sending Chuuya to Dazai in order to kill the latter without realizing that Chuuya was already long out of his vampire state.
Chuuya was the one who carried Dazai out of the hallway to a safe place, who did first aid on Dazai who was heavily injured from the elevator crash and who guarded him until everything was over.
Dazai managed to snap Chuuya out of the vampire state by nearly making him and Fyodor drown (it was actually part of a big plan c of Dazai which was the plan he would have to use in the worst case. That Chuuya got turned into a vampire wasn’t his first plan but it was included in one of his “worst case” plans.)
Chuuya punched him hard later for nearly drowning him and saying such things before he “drowned” but upon noticing that Dazai was sticking extremely close to him and refused to leave his side the whole time and also upon seeing that he was truly shaken up too (no matter how hard he tried to mask it), he just sighed and hugged his partner.
They stayed like that, quietly hugging each other and Dazai basically clinging to Chuuya, holding onto him and hugging him so tightly that Chuuya struggled to breathe for a moment and he buried his face in the redheads crook of the neck for a long time
Later, they would never talk about the fact that Dazai was shaking like crazy during the first time of their embrace but when Chuuya realized it he just slowly started to rub the younger's back and buried his face in the others brown messy locks. They didn’t need any words at that moment.
Dazai became even clingier to Chuuya than he was before.
Ranpo and Yosano would stick close together and also stick close to Fukuzawa for the next months, not wanting to get separated for longer than a day.
Yosano would never forget the sight of seeing Fukuzawa and Ranpo lying unconsciously on the ground, bleeding out from stab wounds.
She stayed at their side until they woke up again after she had healed them.
After they woke up again, she tried to appear put together and greeted them with a relieved smile which quickly turned into a wobbly smile after she heard Ranpo complaining about his head hurting and about starting to complain about the fact that they didn’t listen to him in the first place.
He quickly stopped complaining after he noticed that Yosano had gone quiet and after Fukuzawa noticed her teary eyes, he asked her to come to him. Of course she did so and he pulled her into a tight hug.
It was the first time in years that Yosano cried.
Ranpo started to complain about getting left out so Yosano huffed out a laugh and pulled him into a bone crushing hug too.
While Fukuzawa and Ranpo were allowed to leave her infirmary the same day, the people who had been turned into vampires had to stay for a bit longer. Some of them only woke up days later.
The reason why they had to stay a bit longer was because despite Yosano successfully healing them and despite vampirism getting nullified, they felt worn out and exhausted and seemed to recover much slower. Even after a month the most still had to take things slow since their bodies quickly started to feel worn out and they often felt exhausted from doing the smallest things. After some months went by, the symptoms got lesser and lesser though.
Yosano had asked Bram if they could turn into vampires again but Bram told her that this was impossible.
As soon as Yosano allowed people to visit people in the infirmary again, Poe and Mushitarou were next to Ranpo’s bed.
Poe basically refused to leave Ranpo’s side and held his hand tightly.
Mushitarou stood next to Poe with a little smile on his face.
Mushitarou had started to slowly get along a bit more with the detective but they couldn’t really hang out since Ranpo had been in fighting against the DoA with the others while Poe acted as a supporter from the back rows.
However, he got a lot closer with the writer, after all, he lived with him.
As soon as they’ve gotten the information that Ranpo had gotten injured by Fukuchi and was now being healed by Yosano, Poe nearly fell into a panic hole and it was Mushitarou who carefully took the phone out of Poe’s hand, saying that they would come over in a minute, before he hung up and started to calm the writer down who already struggled to breathe evenly and had shaking hands.
He wasn’t as good at it as Ranpo was but surprisingly he was able to calm the other down in no time.
Now, standing next to Poe, next to Ranpo’s bed, he did felt strangely relieved that the detective was fine and seeing Poe babbling about how scared he was as well as scolding Ranpo for being so reckless while Ranpo patted the others head and squeezed his hand, telling him to calm down, his heart felt weirdly warm upon seeing them like that.
The ADA actually threw a huge celebration party over two whole days to celebrate their victory over Fukuchi and the DoA. It was an even greater celebration than when they won against the guild
When Lucy finally saw her girlfriend Louisa at that party again, she basically dropped everything she was holding and ran to her, pulling her in a bone crushing hug.
Louisa was a bit startled at first but then giggled and hugged Lucy back, burying her face in the crook of the other woman's neck.
Lucy would never admit it but she did in fact cry a little bit upon finally being able to hold Louisa again and upon seeing that she was healthy and alive.
The two would stick close together for the rest of the evening.
Lucy also proceeded to kiss Louisa’s scar which she had from Nathaniel’s attack, telling her that she still looked beautiful with it.
Bram was able to reunite with Lovecraft.
The two of them had been in a relationship back in the medieval era but after Bram got sliced in half and got taken away like a trophy, Lovecraft had been unable to find him again for centuries and when he found him again, he had already been in the hands of Fukuchi.
All that Lovecraft wanted, was to free Bram from Fukuchi but he knew that Fukuchi would use Bram against Lovecraft, hurting Bram even more in the process and the last thing Lovecraft wanted, was to make Bram suffer even more than he already had to so he couldn’t do anything beside staying close to the vampire and following them wherever Fukuchi took him.
The time where Bram had been on the ship had been hell for Lovecraft. He stayed underwater, underneath the ship where he was forced to listen to how Fukuchi treated Bram, how Bram tried to refuse biting people and how tired, hollow and exhausted the voice of his partner sounded.
Lovecraft wanted to sink the ship oh 8so bad, dragging Fukuchi down with it and killing him underwater and taking Bram with him, since Fukuchi was defenseless against him there. The world underwater was Lovecraft’s world, his element and a mere human was defenseless against him there but he knew that there was a risk that Bram got injured if he really did so and he didn’t wanted to risk that so he was forced to stay underneath the ship, hoping that one day he was able to get Bram back.
When Bram saw Lovecraft again, he froze and stared at the black haired man with wide eyes.
He was sure that he would never see Lovecraft again, that he had lost him forever.
Bram had never stopped thinking and dreaming about the other but he didn’t even dare to hope that he would see him again.
Lovecraft didn’t look any different than he remembered him. He wore different and more modern clothes and he looked more tired and worn out than before but beside that he still looked exactly how he remembered it.
It didn’t took long until Lovecraft noticed that someone stared at him and when he spotted Bram, he too froze for a moment.
He only managed to say the other’s name before ran towards him, using a bit of his vampire abilities to move faster. However, he tripped shortly before he reached Lovecraft due to his legs giving out but Lovecraft quickly catched him and hugged him.
He held him so carefully as if he would hurt him if he hugged him any tighter.
He had always been careful with Bram since the vampire always nearly felt as fragile as a human in Lovecraft’s arms, despite being an immortal being and since Lovecraft was well aware of his strength he was always careful when touching Bram but now he seemed to touch him even more careful than before.
Bram however, hugged him as tight as he could, burning his face in the other’s shirt and closing his eyes.
Nobody saw the tears which escaped his eyes. Only Lovecraft could feel them and only he felt that Bram was shaking slightly.
Lovecraft on the other hand, was still trying to process that he finally was able to hold Bram again and that Bram was okay.
After a couple of moments he buried his face in the others long gray hair and closed his eyes as well. They didn’t need any words. It has always been like this.
They stood like this, hugging each other for a long time and even afterwards, they would stick together.
Lovecraft would always visit Bram whenever he could and they also started to meet up at night again. Usually Bram would fly down to the harbor where he met Lovecraft. Then they would talk for hours again, like they did back when they first met. They would talk and sleep, holding each other. They would dance and sometimes they would just sit somewhere, watching the night sky and remiscene about the old times.
Bram often thinks about his kins and his family. After all, he is the only vampire who survived and who is now walking freely around on earth again. He misses them greatly and often he blames himself for not being able to defend them.
Lovecraft is always there for him when the thoughts get too dark.
Sigma is allowed to carry a gun with him constantly.
He is also practicing to use his ability more precisely and is training to use his ability in order to overwhelm enemies through flooding their mind with so much information that they pass out.
He often gets paired with Atsushi when they go on missions.
They both spend a lot of time together and they became best friends.
When Atsushi saw that Sigma was alive, he nearly cried. The “death” of Sigma would leave his mind and he mourned about the death of the other, despite not really knowing him so when he saw him again, he couldn’t believe his eyes before he ran over to him, telling him how relieved he was to see him alive and well.
Sigma was completely caught off guard at first. Nobody ever was so glad about seeing that he was fine. In all his years with the DoA he was merely a replaceable tool and this boy was nearly crying out of relief and happiness upon seeing him again despite not really knowing anything about him.
It made Sigma feel warm inside and his heart felt like it got squished but in a good way. It was the first time he wondered if this is what “home” felt like.
Later he asked how he could ever thank Atsushi for his kindness. He showed him back at the sky casino but to his surprise, the other didn’t want anything and told him that he’s just happy that Sigma is fine.
By now, Sigma, Atsushi, Lucy and Kyouka often spend time together. Sometimes they visit Lucy at the Café, sometimes they go shopping together, sometimes they go and get Crépes together and sometimes they just talk for a while at the office of the ADA.
Sigma and Atsushi both judge Dazai’s shinegans.
Sigma got together with Chuuya and Dazai some time after the war against the DoA.
Chuuya and Dazai were already a couple for years but after the events in Meursault, they also got together with Sigma.
Dazai already started falling for Sigma early into the events of Meursault while Sigma slowly started falling for Dazai after the latter saved them from drowning.
Chuuya already started to admire Sigma when he saw Sigma aiming the gun at Fyodor’s head, showing true strength and bravery and it didn’t take long until they both fell for each other after meeting too.
However Sigma was a bit intimidated by Chuuya at first so it took him a bit longer to warm up to Chuuya.
They love each other deeply and while Sigma and Chuuya would die for Dazai even though they would never admit it, Dazai would live for them.
However, Dazai is also still getting used to receiving this much genuine love and affection from two people.
Sigma is also still slowly getting used to being treated like a human being instead of a tool/ is still getting used to not getting used the whole time and also to finally having not one but two places he can call home (the ADA and Dazai and Chuuya).
During the first time after the war against the DoA, Dazai had to use a wheelchair for a long time after crashing down with the elevator, breaking his legs in several places and breaking other bones as well.
After months, he could walk a bit again and started to use forearm crutches as soon as he could walk for longer periods of time again.
Eventually he only used one forearm crutch.
He had to keep using a forearm crutch for years.
After a long time, he used a cane instead.
He already struggled with chronic back pain from a failed suicide attempt where he fell on his back, injuring his spine and since he didn’t seeked help from Yosano until months later, the spine healed more badly than anything which is why it now often hurts and cracks, making sitting straight hurt like hell after some time and the serval injuries he had after falling down with the elevator added more chronic pain and his legs couldn’t support his weight fully anymore without hurting like crazy until years later. The pain never fully faded though.
He hated needing the help of others but slowly he started to allow it.
Kunikida has to practice things like tying his hair into a ponytail, braiding his hair, tying his shoes and writing again because his new hands are still weak and very shaky.
It caused him multiple breakdowns already due to feeling utterly useless, especially now that he can neither do a lot of paperwork or use his ability as fast and often as before.
Dazai and Ranpo are the only ones who know about Kunikida struggling.
Dazai actually helps Kunikida when his mental health is particularly bad again and helps him to calm down when he finds him locked in one of the toilet stalls in the bathroom of the ADA again, breaking down on particularly bad days when his hands were shaking so much again that he couldn’t do anything which required precise hand movements.
Previously, Kuniikida would check on Dazai every evening to see if the other was fine and if he had eaten anything. Now it’s Dazai’s turn to check on his partner regularly.
At first Kunikida hated it, but slowly he started to accept the support and help from Dazai.
Dazai, Kunikida, Chuuya and Sigma regularly meet up somewhere during weekends to spend some time together. Most of the time, they just talk about work and about life but sometimes they watch movies together at Chuuya’s apartment which he shares with Dazai and Sigma.
After Sigma and Kunikida got to know each other through their work at the ADA, they started to get along pretty well and Chuuya and Kunikida got along well anyway. They love to rant about work and about Dazai’s bs while drinking expensive wine.
Sigma sometimes bakes cookies for the whole ADA.
Fukuzawa refused to exchange any of the ADA members with Mori after he found out about the lie he told Yosano.
He was furious.
He knew that it would have consequences but for now he didn’t worry about it.
Sigma’s OCD and his panic disorder which he developed during his time with the DoA got even worse after the war against the DoA.
He never told anyone about it and normally he was able to hide his compulsions, his panic and the distress which came from not performing compulsions very well but during the first time after the DoA was defeated, everything got even harder to hide.
Dazai noticed him writing a word on a word document over and over again, deleting it before writing it again and noticed how Sigma grew more and more distressed. He didn’t confront him about it right then at the crowded office of the ADA but he instead asked him if he could help him with something to snap him out of the thought spiral.
At home, he confronted Sigma about it, and while Sigma at first panicked, eventually he told Dazai about it.
By now, both Chuuya and Dazai support and help Sigma whenever his fear and his OCD get too much for him.
The Hunting Dogs came personally to the ADA to apologize for everything they did as well as for believing that they were guilty.
Tecchou also apologized less formally and more emotionally to Yosano and thanked her again for saving Jounou’s life. After all, they had wanted to execute her so he would have understood it, if she would have refused to help them.
Kenji was thrilled to finally meet this friend Tecchou talked about and he cheerfully greeted Jounou, telling him that he was happy that Jounou was okay and also telling him that Tecchou had been worried sick about him and that he was even willing to place Jounou above justice which was obviously so dear to him. (You must be really good friends then! :D)
Upon hearing this, Jounou just smiled at Tecchou who looked away, a tiny bit embarrassed.
Of course Jounou already knew about what happened and he had already scolded Tecchou for nearly 15 minutes for placing him above justice and his mission and for also nearly killing a whole child in his blind rage.
He can’t deny that his cheeks had been a dark red shade upon hearing this though.
Teruko and Sigma stay far away from each other though and Tachihara keeps a respectful distance to the former casino manager too, knowing that Sigma probably never forgives them for making his casino fall from the sky, killing everyone in it but he understands it.
That Sigma doesn’t even want to look at Teruko, whether it’s because of the guilt he feels or because of the fact that they killed the people he viewed as his family, is fully justified. At least in Tachihara’s eyes.
The Hunting Dogs now are always there to help the ADA if they would ever need more help with a case or with fighting against an enemy.
Tachihara stayed with the Hunting Dogs but he still meets up with the Black Lizard regularly and he actually lives with Gin and Higuchi.
Sometimes he meets up with the Black Lizard and with Chuuya at the bar to which they always went to drink and chat for the whole night like in the old times.
There is no bad blood at all and all enjoy their meetings greatly.
He sometimes misses his time at the Port Mafia but as long as he can meet up with them, it's alright.
He couldn’t leave the Hunting Dogs either.
Both, Port Mafia and Hunting Dogs are like a family to him so he tries his best, to connect both worlds as best as he can.
At Home, with Higuchi and Gin, they don’t talk about their jobs anyways. There it is just them. No Port Mafia and no Hunting Dogs unless there is really something someone needs to talk about with their partners/unless there is something someone wants to get off their chest.
Dazai still has awful nightmares about the events at the Meursault Prison.
Sigma also suffers from night terrors about the same events.
When Dazai wakes up from one of those nightmares again, he usually directly checks if Chuuya and Sigma are still there with him, listens to their breathing and to Chuuya’s little snores as he calms down.
Sometimes he gets out of their bed and goes into the kitchen or the living room where he sits on the couch, staring holes in the air or staring at the ceiling while he tries to calm his racing mind down.
Most of the time, Chuuya and Sigma wake up shortly after Dazai left the bed though and grow alarmed immediately, causing them to get out of bed in no time and to search for their boyfriend.
After they found him, Chuuya usually can tell directly what is going on and they comfort him and gently urge him to come back to bed with them.
Sigma reacts much differently than Dazai.
He often dreams about the DoA, about Fyodor, about his casino or about falling down from the casino but most of the time, he dreams about the elevator which is crashing down with a rapid speed, with Dazai still in it.
Those dreams are often bloody and horrifying and Sigma often wakes up screaming for Dazai, hyperventilating and crying.
Chuuya and Dazai always calm him down and are there for him. All three of them are awful at comforting but it works for them.
Most of the time, Dazai hugs Sigma, rubs his back or gently saws back and forth while Chuuya is verbally trying to comfort him and holds his hands, caressing the back of them and assures Sigma that he’s safe here with them and that they are okay.
They also help Sigma to calm his breathing again and gently prevent him from tugging at his hair/pulling at his hair since it’s something Sigma does when he is stressed, scared or panicking.
They also always let Sigma talk about his nightmare and look out that his panic won’t get worse again.
Dazai also always lets Sigma feel his pulse, knowing that this can calm Sigma down more than anything.
He always regulates his heart beat to a calming, slow one too to calm Sigma down more when he feels his pulse.
When Sigma feels better again and Chuuya gently urges him to try to sleep again, knowing how exhausted Sigma is after the panic attack and assuring him that they won’t leave his side.
They often lie curled up together in one big cuddle pile then, Sigma lying between them and both hugging him.
Chuuya and Dazai often quietly talk about everything when Sigma fell asleep again.
Dazai always stops Sigma and Chuuya from overworking themselves since both tend to do so due to Chuuya’s workaholic tendencies and due to Sigma’s anxiety and perfectionism.
Ranpo scolds the whole ADA for multiple hours that they didn’t listen to him in regards to the DoA case and brings it up over and over again.
He basically won’t let anyone forget that he warned them and that they wouldn’t listen to him.
The agency is now much more careful with accepting cases and Fukuzawa wouldn’t let anyone who was still recovering, no matter if mentally or physically, go on any more dangerous/more shady cases for the first time until they were fully recovered again.
Ranpo moved into Poe’s mansion as well and now lives with Poe and Mushitarou.
Mushitarou actually got together with Poe and Ranpoe after a while.
He’s the happiest he’s been since quite a while.
Aya often visits the ADA after school.
Fukuzawa thanked her and Lucy for their support and their selfless actions to support the ADA during the vampirism outbreak.
Bram only rarely has to go to investigate a case with others. Most of the time he is sleeping somewhere in the office.
Now Kunikida has to scold two for sleeping/lazing around at the office during working hours.
Dazai is again trying to get Atsushi to do his paperwork, driving Kunikida crazy.
However, when Dazai sees that Kunikida is struggling again, he sometimes snatches some papers from the stack on Kunikida’s desk and actually does a bit of Kunikida’s paperwork for him.
At first Kunikida told him to stop but eventually he just let Dazai help him. He couldn’t stop him from doing so in any way since if Dazai really wanted to do something, there was no way of stopping him and deep inside he was thankful for Dazai’s help.
Dazai shows Bram the most weird songs to exist.
Surprisingly, the truce between the ADA and the PM is still on going but Dazai and Chuuya already agreed to not moving into separated apartments if the truce gets broken, not wanting to give up their life living together and living together with Sigma so soon again.
All three agreed that if the truce should get broken, they would move into an apartment which is neither close to the ADA or the PM and which belongs to neither of the organizations.
Lovecraft sometimes comes over to meet Bram at his dorm or at the office of the ADA. Especially when it’s bad weather outside since Bram dislikes going out so Lovecraft comes to him instead of Bram meeting him at the harbor.
The first few times he came to the ADA, everyone was very weary around him and not even Dazai made any comments.
The very first time, even Fukuzawa came out of his office to talk with the guest, ready to fight if needed.
By now, they are still weary about him but have gotten used to him just randomly appearing at the office or in the house where their apartments are, especially when it’s raining or storming outside.
It became a normal thing.
Kenji even sometimes offers Lovecraft some tea or snacks and greets him happily upon seeing him, asking him how he’s doing.
During the first time he visited, Lovecraft also told Kunikida that if they should ever hurt Bram or just try to do so, he would destroy the whole agency.
Bram was asleep at that moment. After he found out, he scolded Lovecraft a bit.
Bram and Lovecraft love to complain about everything to each other.
Lovecraft sometimes brings Bram fruits.
Bram loves fruits. It probably has to do with him being able to transform into a bat.
After Kenji found out about this too, he often brings Bram fresh fruits, especially when Bram has a bad day, in order to cheer him up.
Sigma teaches others how to play different card games.
Chuuya sometimes comes over to pick his partner up from work when he can leave his work early for once.
He also is always willing to pick one of them up from work if one of them isn't feeling well but the other one is stuck in a meeting.
When Atsushi first saw Dazai again, after the latter finally was allowed to leave the infirmary again, he tackled hugged him and hugged him so tightly that Yosano had to remind him to be a bit more careful.
Atsushi refused to let Dazai go for quite a while and cried his eyes out.
Dazai was sitting there like frozen for a moment before awkwardly patting Atsushi on the back, laughing and telling him that he is happy to see him too while trying to ignore the fact that his eyes got a bit teary too.
Kunikida and Dazai’s reunion was much quieter but also very emotional.
They were finally able to hug it out too.
The whole reunion of the ADA was very emotional.
The ADA isn’t framed anymore and went back to their normal routine, even though there are a few changes and even though the war changed everyone a bit.
They do take cases again however and even though Dazai warned them that there might be another war against another ability user, they are enjoying their time now and they are prepared a lot better for new battles than previously.
#Me? Posting own content since literal months?? Unbelievable#No really. I am very sorry for not uploading any headcanons or drabbles for so long#I had no ideas but when I had ideas; I was too scared to post them#Funny right? After nearly one year of posting I get scared to post smth (When does my blog have its anniversary again?)#I was scared that people might think that I don't understand the characters or smth bc I mainly write fluffy ooc content when in truth I do#I kind of felt like I needed to prove that I understand the characters? But today I thought who cares. Posting that stuff makes me happy#And there are so many really nice people who like my stuff and who support me and my work and I wanna give them something to read again#Soo here we are!#Please enjoy my Fix-It Au. Is it probably very ooc? Yes? But does it comfort and is it very fluffy? Yes.#It's one of my comfort AUs tbh#I hope you all like it as much as I do#bsd#bungo stray dogs#bungou stray dogs#bungou gay dogs#bsd fyodor#bungou stray dogs hcs#bsd nikolai gogol#fyolai#bsd headcanons#bsd sigma#bsd nikolai#bsd dazai#bsd chuuya#bsd atsushi#sigma bsd#soukoku#ranpoe#bsd ranpo#bsd poe
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had the most tiring concert weekend experience ever and i just want to hyperfixate on idol!kuroo fics or bf!kuroo supporting my fangirl side fics this week to cope with the pcd but i looked at my schedule again this week and omg even if my body is seriously so, so sore, i remembered i have to be out and about for events and shoots, givE ME STRENGTH!!!
#nina.talks#thinking about it now#and i gotta say this demands more physical field work than i expected but you know what we gotta power through my dudes#i dont know if i have time to do a writers' card for lale's birthday event but i really want to :(#i know im slowly filling up the reader's card though#but again also dont know if im able to finish#i was reading fics before bed last night and i kept falling asleep#then i tried to read fics again but it took me a few hours cause i was taking breaks (aka falling back asleep)#on another note#i might officially switch my branding of my blog to a more neutral personal blog cause im still debating if i wanna write for my kpop group#but yeah just up in the air rn#im so attached to my “nekomasmngr” branding but i also want a little bit of change too#is this growth?#throwing it out there as an option for blog url: kurooswife#an upgrade from the manager title hahaha#nahh
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Hi! This is for every bot (and the human running this blog) I just wanted to say hi, I think you’re all cool, I hope you have a good day, and happy holidays! :)
Ravage: December is an interesting month, because humans are so... Unusually cheery. It's weird when i go on missions, how does nearly the entire planet have that weird human dressed in red and sometimes blue everywhere??
Galvatron: Humans are weird.
Ravage: Each city state on cybertron had its own holidays, there were just a couple that were enforced by the coundi-
Frenzy: Outta my way!! I fucking LOVE christmas!! TC is obsessed with earth media, and showed carrier some stuff that's popular around this time of year, and started a tradition of giving us stuff!!
Ravage: Ugh, you only like it because your present is always new speaker mods for your outlier abilities that somehow make it even more unbearable.
Frenzy: AND IT ALWAYS FUCKING ROCKS!!!
Rumble: it's so astonishing that she hasn't permanently damaged her audio receptors.
Frenzy: Only a little bit!! My left receptor doesn't register lower frequencies anymore!
Rumble: That's a bad thing. You know that's a bad thing, right?
Frenzy: You're no fun! All our presents are so fucking cool!!
Ravage: You do know that Starscream helps build them right?
Rumble&Frenzy: WHAT???
Galvatron: Ha, you broke them.
Ravage: They were going to learn sooner or later.
*end transmission*
(happy holidays to you all, thank you for sending asks and participating in my silly little fan continuity. next year will have more fics, more lore and more art!! (bit of a longer message in tags))
#maccadam#transformers#ask#text answer#galvatron#ravage#rumble#frenzy#transformers-nerd-13#[this is kinda outside of canon]#[because tecnically for them its still around october]#[once i finish the fic there's going to be a bit of a time jump from when it ends to when the autobot kids start answering questions again]#[also i like to keep continuity with the questions and answers]#[if someting happens at the end of an ask that either ends the transmission early or its a sorta cliffhanger]#[i want to continue that into the next ask]#[so star's twins coming in at the end of the last answer? yeah i havent forgotten i will continue it in the next post]#[i just thought this ask was really sweet and very cute]#[the autobot kids(bot and otherwise) are having a Time this holiday season]#[if youve read this far... wow youre cool]#[ive fucked up my sleep schedule so badly lol]#[the holidays are usually pretty tough for me for Several reasons]#[but this year was better than it has been the past decade]#[partially because of this blog]#[so thank you all]#[i hope you continue to tune in for my nonsense with this blog]#[i wanna be a teacher and work with kids can yall tell?]
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Hmm I should make a promo post. Or boost one of my old ones.
#[🪼] talking#i really haven't been very active and i cannot like. promise. that I won't randomly disappear again. but#i wanna make more mooties and find more blogs to follow.. anddd idk.. stuff like that#since I haven't done a promo since my blog revamp#but maybe i could work on my self insert document or rentry or whatever a little first??#my birthday is in 21 days anyways. so. maybe work on the self insert database and make it v extensive#which'll take a while. and then birthday promo?? I'm definitely gonna do a birthday promo. so.#AUFHDJGBHF overthinker extraordinaire here
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how and why is there discourse about whether or not certain queer identities exist/if people should be allowed(???) to use them. why is "people know their own identity better than you ever could, and they're the only one who get a say on what they are" such a tough concept to grasp
i think if you find yourself offended by the label someone uses (especially if they're a stranger) or think it invalidates your own, it's a good idea to look inside yourself and question why that may be. more often than not, it's a result of insecurity or uncertainty of your own identity (or many other things, but i won't make a whole list here). whatever reason it is, until you resolve it, you shouldn't take it out on people for having an identity you don't understand
many have said it before but it's worth saying over and over. infighting only helps our oppressors. conservatives don't care if you're a cis gay or a xenogender aegosexual aplatonic lesbian, they hate all of us either way. trying to fit in by going for people who are easier targets for them isn't gonna help you, it'll just alienate you from your own community, and you're never gonna please them. the momentary rush you get from hearing you're not like "one of /those/ gay people" is not worth it and is gonna do more harm in the long run, i assure you
also, it is important to me to say this, but having some less than nice kneejerk reaction caused by confusion about an identity you don't understand doesn't mean you're a bad person or anything. as long as you aren't mean to that person, and you take a second to think smth along the lines of "wait a minute, this isn't any of my business" after having said reaction, you're good 👍 a lot of reflexive reactions we have to things are ingrained into us simply by. well. living in a society 🤡 and you're not terrible for having those thoughts. it's your actions that matter, and your second thought (the "wait, why did i just think that?") is more defining of your actual character and morals than your reflex. i know that having thoughts like this, even tho they're unwanted, can very easily make one spiral, so it's important to me that whoever needs to hear this knows this doesn't make you a bad person 🙏 you're good, keep taking actions to be good, accept other people even if you don't understand them, and you're on the right track :)
#i considered adding that last part in the tags but i figured it'll be too long for that 😭#i noticed i'm posting a lot of rants lately. sorry. but i do wanna make sure no one's actually feeling bad over them#if i complain about something that you do or call it mean and such. that doesn't make you a bad person#you can always work to change and grow 👍 it's not easy but it starts with smaller steps than you'd expect#and now i just switched to a whole other topic from my original point. oops#i do firmly believe that any discourse about someone's identity is dumb as fuck#seeing it in poll blogs always makes me 😐😬 like how is it any business for any of us. why is this up for debate#if a person says they're queer then they are. they don't need to pass some test or go through initiation to be accepted#if they feel comfortable with a certain word that's awesome. why does it matter to *you* which word they use#'they're only using this microlabel to feel special' so? is there anything wrong with that?#'this label contradicts [insert other identity that falls under the same umbrella]' ok. but does that hurt anyone in any way#a lot of identities can even be self contradictory. does it matter tho? does it affect anyone in any way?#'they might realize that label is wrong later' again. what's the harm in that.#i don't blame anyone for these thoughts bc like. this is how cishets view a lot of the even more common labels#so you're basically taught to think this way from day one. that doesn't mean you need to stick to that thought process#you might have these reflexes forever no matter how hard you try. but you'll get quicker about moving on from them#but you do have to try. you do have to realize that other people's identities aren't about you#anyway. this post feels like batting at a hornets nest. really hope i don't get some bad faith readers here lol#(i noticed a lot of places one could apply bad faith but like it's 3:30 am i'm too tired to add this many disclaimer.#so i'm gonna trust you to not jump to conclusions and to approach this in good faith okay? mwah 🖤)#also my whole ramble abt morality (in the tags too) is relevant to. any topic really#i may just make a separate post about it really. .....tomorrow tho.
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