rachelbates141-blog

[vegaspetesupremicy]

Hello I don't know what inspired this...or where it came from. Enjoy ~~~~

[lanadelreyismyfav]

Hiiii could you pls write a show! Percy x fem Reader? Like let's say she's Annabeth's half-sister and like he at first doesn't really like her but then he's like "Oh wait she's actually not that bad" and just sort of developes this kinda (very) obvious crush on her?

Ofc I can!!!

Also please tell me if I wrote anything wrong this is my first time writing so it might not be the best and if you have any tips I would love to know 🫶🏼🫶🏼

Something about you

this is a Percy Jackson x fem reader 🫶🏼🫶🏼

It was a very sunny day at camp half blood. You and your sister Annabeth had been there for a while and she had became friends with this boy, Percy Jackson he always kinda shrugged you off so you didn’t really talk much

“Hey Y/n would you mind getting some breakfast for us” Annabeth asks you with a curious look on her face

“Sure what do you guys want?” You ask

“Yeah can you just get us three breakfast sandwiches” Annabeth asks you sweetly

“Sure I’ll be back” you say leaving

“Bye sis!” Annabeth says as you leave

“Bye!!” You say back

You start to walk to were they are holding breakfast on your walk you start to think to yourself that you kinda wish that you and Percy could talk more he seems nice he just never talks to you you think to yourself, You make your way into to the breakfast you pick it up and you also get one for yourself because you are also starving

So you start to walk back to the cabin,

(Time skip ⏭️)

So you got back to the cabin and you walk in to see Annabeth and Percy talking to each other

“Here you guys go” You say

“Thanks so much Y/n I really appreciate it” Annabeth says

“Oh your welcome it’s no problem” you say back

“Yeah thanks Y/n” Percy says which kinda surprises you he’s never really said anything to you before

You stand there in shock looking at him for a second before answering again

“Y-Your welcome Percy” You say still shocked

He notices you staring at him

“Take a picture it will last longer” he says back to you in a flirty way and he chuckles to himself

You feel yourself get flustered at his words

“Maybe I will” you say back winking and laughing to yourself

He blushes a bit and smiles

You go back to your work you were practicing for capture the flag you wanted to win

“I’m leaving you two can talk for a while if you want” Annabeth says leaving you and Percy alone

“Ok be safe love you” You say back

You and Percy sit there for a while in akward silence you can feel his eyes burning into the back of your head but every time you look back to see is Percy is looking he looks away he’s starts to get bored so he decides to make conversation

“So you practicing for capture the flag huh?” He says softly trying to make conversation

“Yeah I don’t wanna lose” you chuckle to yourself

“Your competitive like your sister” he says smirking

“Yeah we are kinda alike in some ways I guess” you say kinda shrugging

“You need some help with that?” He asks smirking a bit

“Yeah” you kinda blush to yourself

He walks over to you and you were drawing out a plan for capture the flag on paper he takes your had into his and helps you draw you feel butterflies in your stomach you’re never felt this way towards him before it’s all very new to you

Percy’s perspective

Geez I hope she doesn’t think this is weird I never talk to her and now I’m helping her and grabbing her hand (I’m sorry that sounded really weird)

Back to your perspective

(Time skip ⏭️)

So it had been a couple of weeks since you and Percy were alone together and had a moment Percy couldn’t stop thinking about it and he started to talk to you more and hold the door open for you just little things like asking you if you need help or getting you food or even bringing you a little gifts and flowers he was so sweet to you

He definitely had a crush on you and you liked him back

So one day he came to you and Annabeth’s cabin

“Hey Y/n I was wondering something” he asks looking nervous

“Hey, sure what?” you say back curiously

“Well I was wondering if you wanted to go out with me?” He asks very nervously scared of your answer

“Sure I would love to” You say back smiling and blushing a bit

All the sudden you hear something

“Aww you little love birds” Annabeth says teasing you two

“Annabeth!!” You say annoyed and flustered at what your sister is saying

“Well I’ll pick you up at 7 for ice cream?” (Sorry if you’re lactose intolerant 😭) Percy says blushing a bit

“Sure that’s perfect” you say back smiling at him

-The end

I hope you guys enjoyed the story, I hope it was ok

I hope you guys have an amazing day love you guys byeee 🫶🏼🫶🏼

[wered0gs]

I haven't seen a lot of discussion about RSD when it comes to ADHD discussions, so I thought I would do the honors since it's been affecting me for many years and I'd like people to know more about it!

I have had a diagnosis for ADHD but was never told- instead learning I had autism through therapy but still having some behaviors that I could never explain that just Happened.

I learned I had ADHD over the summer, and with that, severe rejection sensitive dysphoria.

before reading, please keep in mind that this is mostly talking from personal experience and some skimmed research! not experiencing RSD doesn't mean you do/don't have ADHD, and it may not appear like how it appeared for me. I don't only have autism + adhd either, so those may also contribute to any differences! ^^

RSD is the immense emotional pain after being criticized, rejected, or even teased (ignore my misspell in the panel). This rejection can be real or perceived, and we react like this because it hurts.

The pain can manifest as aggression, bringing on symptoms of depression (thoughts of s/h, isolation, demotivation, etc) and anxiety/panic attacks.

it can cause physical aliments like the above. For me, it causes my heartrate to skyrocket, heart palpitations, the feeling of being in a crisis, and extreme shaking to occur along with stomach pain.

(In fact, right now I'm going through it because making a post talking about this, despite having & dealing with it, makes me scared of other's opinions on it.)

RSD can also take the form of avoiding situations, people, or conversations where rejection or criticism is very possible.

Like other types of dysphoria, it is out of our control and hard to manage. It can last from days to weeks to months, all depending on both the trigger* and the individual.

I had a RSD episode that was on-and-off for a little over a year or two; getting more tame and bearable as it slowly drifted and stopped haunting my mind with the incident.

Compared to the other times my RSD was set off, this moment was a rather big moment in my life and ended up permanently changing me moving forward - which can be the reason why it lasted so long.

Despite how unbearable it can get, there are some ways to cope with it & lessen the effect it has.

Communicate - If you need time to process something that's told to you, you should say so (as difficult as it is). Tell the person(s) involved about your RSD, how you need time to digest information like this and take some time to relax. Trying to respond to the information while going through the head of the dysphoria will be very rough and might not be what you truly want to say.

Distract - This is really useful for me personally! Do something that grabs your attention or occupies your mind. One of RSD's main symptoms is rumination, thinking of something over and over again. I usually listen to music, draw, or play a game that won't frustrate me - like minecraft! (i'd say rain world but some of you would call me a maniac /lhj)

Perspective - This may require some communication, but it can really help and connect with others. See what the involved people thought / perceived, explain, talk. This doesn't always have the chance to end in rainbows and rekindling but at least you understand. Sometimes simply hearing the person explain their own side is enough to ease my RSD, being able to have someone explain themselves to me so i can understand them better.

I also wanna point out the "don't take it personally" thing that people try to use to deal with it isn't something i agree with since we're going to take it personally at first regardless. Later on, not really, but you're trying to cope with the symptoms... telling someone (or yourself) that they're too sensitive & over-reacting is the worse thing you could do.

With time, you can even begin to build up your 'armor' and be able to sustain yourself in situations you might get hurt in. Of course, some things may be able to sneak past and hurt you more than you expect, but at the end of the day, you're trying your best to go about it the best you can while taking so many blows. you're doing great.

OK i dont have a lot more to add so if anyone else would like to talk about their experiences, please feel free! Character showcased here was my beloved fursona Shiki! i'm just a little neurodivergent + black artist from new york :]

hope you enjoyed it! sorry for the long post </3

[frodo-with-glasses]

COMMISSIONS OPEN!!

Heya! Wanna throw money at me to make me draw something?? Well, for just $20 an hour, now you can!

Read below for price estimates and FAQs, and if you’re interested, please email me at FigTreeIllustrationsLLC@gmail.com to get started!

PRICING INFO

Because I’m too lazy to come up with complicated price structures, I’ll just be charging a flat rate of $20/hour for any work I do on the art piece. The clock starts when I pick up the pencil or digital stylus and ends when I put it down.

This does mean that prices will vary, depending on how time-consuming each art piece is, but I can give you some rough estimates.

Upper Body Sketch: Approx. 30 min = $10 for one

It takes me about half an hour to draw a bust or upper body sketch. This time can be shortened if I’m already familiar with the character design, or lengthened if I’m drawing an unfamiliar character or doing some weird perspective stuff.

Every additional figure would probably take another half an hour, adding about $10 each.

Full-Body Sketch: Approx. 1 hour = $20 for one

Drawing an entire figure is a little harder than just drawing the upper body, so this one might take longer. Again, this time can be shortened or lengthened depending on my familiarity with the character, how complex the design is, and whether I’m doing any complicated posing or perspective.

Adding additional figures can take anywhere from 30 minutes to 1 hour, adding $10-$20 each.

Animals: Approx. 1.5 hrs = $30 for one

Animals are not my strong suit, though I have gotten better at drawing them over time! However, the extra time studying reference photos and trying to get the anatomy correct can stack up quickly, so you’ll want to be aware of that if you’re commissioning something with an animal involved.

Posters: Minumum 3 hrs = approx. $60

Posters take a little extra time—and usually some trial and error—to plan the layout in a dynamic way. They also take up an entire sketchbook page and tend to include multiple people and some extreme perspective to add visual appeal. You can expect a poster to take about three hours minimum to complete.

Multi-Panel Comics: Minimum 4 hrs a page = $80

Drawing a comic big enough to cover an entire sketchbook page can take me anywhere from 4 to 6 hours of work. If drawing a long-form comic, I will probably divide the work over several days. Brainstorming will happen on the first day, when I’ll plan out how many panels I’ll need for the comic, and then I’ll get in contact with you to tell you an estimated price before I proceed.

Digital Coloring: Minimum 1.5 hrs = add approx. $30

Coloring things digitally takes about double the time it would to sketch; I’ve noticed it takes around two hours to color a simple image, with another hour added for each figure involved. This first image took me about an hour and a half to outline and color, while the second took about five hours.

Add to Redbubble Shop: Subject to Redbubble Pricing

If your commissioned artwork is Lord of the Rings-related, I can put it into my Redbubble shop, where you can have it printed on stickers, t-shirts, journals, mugs, and lots of other products! I won’t charge any extra fee, but you will have to pay whatever price Redbubble asks. Full disclosure: I receive only 10% of the profit from Redbubble sales; the rest goes to the website to cover manufacturing and shipping costs.

FAQ

No NSFW

No nudity or sexual content

Canon ships only

Will draw gore/injuries

Will draw OCs (please provide references)

Will draw for other fandoms (please provide references)

The artist reserves the right to reject any commission without disclosing the reason

The artist will give price and progress updates over the course of the process

You, the commissioner, have the right to terminate the project at any time and for any reason

If the project is terminated halfway, you will be charged for the artist’s time, but the artist might give a discount for incomplete work

Payment will be calculated at the end of the project and rendered using PayPal

Once again, if you’re interested, please email me at FigTreeIllustrationsLLC@gmail.com!

[cocogrrrl]

HIIIIIII ugh ur writings are so freakin good and so fun to read it makes me AHHHH could I request kyle, stan, and kenny (separate) with a f!reader that can’t control her facial expressions at all so she’s pretty much an open book? Maybe have the reader be an artist so when she’s drawing she’s like 🤩😙🙁😋🤨😱😐 THANK UUUUU

expressions

(headcannons + drabbles!) the main three's separate reaction to their artist gf who is very expressive whenever they draw (requested!)

main three (separate) x female!reader no cws wc: 1007 overall

an: omg its my first time writing in an hc listed format also the drabbles are a lot more artist gf than the expressive thing sorry huhuuu (also i forgot to reply to the ask last time i took up a request LMAO)

🍀 k. broflovski (wc: 330)

He really wants to comment on it, but doesn’t wanna bother you

I don’t mean that in a bad way! I just think that he finds it entertaining to see your mood and facial expressions shift around a lot

Like okay imagine you two parallel playing, both of you off in your own worlds

Kyle looks up at you to see you go from happy to frustrated to upset to shocked all in the span of a few seconds

He definitely finds it adorable and just basks in it by the side

Completely forgets what he was doing cause you’re just so gosh darn cute awwww

You were lying face down, arms holding you up, on his bed. You were tasked to make landscapes of any place but from different perspectives and views. To be honest, you were struggling a little bit. Backgrounds and scenery aren’t quite your strong points, but that didn’t mean you weren’t trying! You were lying down there, tongue poking out as you focused really hard to get the drawing looking at least a little bit realistically correct. You were real deep into it that you didn’t even realize Kyle was watching you until you heard a soft giggle in the back, which immediately made your head whip up. “Hmmm?” You hummed, questioning what he was laughing about. “Ah, it’s nothing.” He smiled at your curiosity. The look of amusement on his face was still there, so you had a hint of what was going on. “You’re just really pretty." You felt your cheeks heat up, giddily smiling to yourself as you felt your legs kicking back and forth in happiness. “Thank you…” You hummed. He only laughed more in return. “Don’t thank me.” He said, lifting your head up by the chin with his fingers as he placed a little kiss on your nose.

🍁 k. mccormick (wc: 360)

FINDS IT SO CUTE

but definitely teases you about it like

“You should take up acting, YN. You’re really good at changing emotions.”

Do you know how some people make facial expressions and random body movements for reference while drawing?

When he sees it for the first time, with no context whatsoever, he thought you got possessed or something CAUSE YOU WERE JUST FLAILING YOUR ARMS AROUND WHILE LOOKING INTENTLY AT THEM

I can just imagine him lying down, watching you drawing, while he’s kicking his feet in the air HEPL

You and your boyfriend, Kenny, were sat slumped against a wall in the back of some alleyway, spending your time together in the quiet where only sounds of passing cars, footsteps and chatter of pedestrians, and the soft winds blowing every now and then. You were getting into your drawings on your little sketchbook, moving from one doodle to the other and leaving many unfinished. Every couple of minutes, you’d revisit the other, but that was only if you were still up to it. Other than that, you had new ideas pulling you away from your drawings every other second. Kenny was playing with the hair that fell by the side of your face as you were doing your own business—twirling, braiding, and unfurling it over and over again. You stretched out your hand and formed it in a reached-out, grabbing motion, shifting it every so often to get a better view of what it looked like. Kenny watched you observing yourself in intrigue as well, resting his chin on your shoulder. As soon as you were done and about to get back to drawing, he lifted himself back up and started to play with your hair once more. While you were drawing out the hand same hand you motioned earlier, you felt a soft kiss on your cheek, which caught you off guard. You turned your head in Kenny's direction, giving him a look that asked, ‘Why?’ Not in a bad way, just out of curiosity. He shrugged in return, cupping your face in one hand with his fingers resting on both cheeks as he squeezed them. “Cutie.”

🎸 s. marsh (wc: 317)

He doesn’t pay much mind to it honestly

He sees it for the first time and thinks it’s kinda silly, but not much after that

He brings it up sometimes though like

“Oh, yeah, I think it’s funny how you’re really expressive.”

But really its not something that bothers him

If anything, he finds it really adorable sometimes, especially when you get a little too into the zone and you’re just changing expressions every millisecond

Honestly, I think it’s a neat little dynamic since you’re probably really bubbly while Stan’s more aloof

You and Stan were in your favorite corner of the world—Stark’s Pond. Okay, technically, it’s one of the farthest things from a corner, given that it’s a whole landscape, but it was a special place unbeknownst to many, especially people who aren’t from the small town of South Park. You two were sat on a bench by the pond, Stan playing the guitar cross-legged, and you were leaning towards it while drawing on your tablet. You hummed along with the songs he was playing, familiar to you as it was your relationship’s self-declared theme song. Your face was twisted in a pout, trying to get a small detail, but important (to you), correct. You clicked your tongue, flipping your canvas every so often to make sure it looked right or physically possible. You sighed, resting your body weight on Stan as he paused to look at you and your art’s progress. “Frustrated?” He hummed, putting his arm down so that it was more comfortable for you to lean onto him. “No,” you clicked your tongue. “Just need to get around this little part. Like, I can’t  draw feet for the life of me.” You sighed, tipping your head a little further as you ground into Stan's shoulder. He found himself giggling at you, patting your back, and giving you a little kiss on the cheek.

[kuni-is-daddy]

Ive been reading a lot of yan!scara fics but i was thinking.. how would scara be with a yandere s/o???

Boss! Scaramouche X yandere Assistant/Bodyguard reader PART 2?

OoF. that made my brain stop while i was just 'struggling' writing something anon. U CURED MY WRITERS BLOCK.

where we last left off in the "boss scara series" you confessed to him and made the first move. the both of you began to truly cling onto eachother. but what if y/n finally shows their obsessive behavior..

Scara ranting to childe :((

CAPI'S NOTE: IM TRAUMATIZED. PART 1 GOT A COMMUNITY LABEL :/ now I have to be a little nice in the smut parts. Any advice on how to avoid it is appreciated :)

AM I FREAKING OUT FOR NO REASON? GN😭❌ ITS 12:13AM

BOSS! SCARA. PART1

Part3!

AMAZING ART

Scara masterlist

WORDS 1.2K

MINORS DO. NOT. INTERACT.❌❌❌

Sparring:

i feel like reader would start acting a bit creepy, Like for example Scara would usually just have you wait outside the building for him to come back from changing his attire back into his suit after you two 'spar' but reader insisted to wait for him 'outside the changing room' Scara thought you we're trying to act like a tease as usual and say things around 'hmm? You wanna see more my pet?' or even down right have you suck him off in his personal changing room. When it comes to sparring your always giving him such praise for his strength, its not everyday or..at all. where someone can surpass you of all people. but you just couldnt EVER wrap your head around him~ "Your so strong master~ I never expect anyless from you" You'd both usually spar for around 5+ rounds but scara started to feel..Different about it.

Fighting/Missions:

"Tsk. Another boring ass day coming to aclose.." He'd say while turning off his favorite song, bohemian rhapsody. He adjusts his tie while opening the door to see you with a big smile on your face. With his already needed paperwork you got from his 'bestie' childe. "The fuck is all this?" "Its your paperwork for the week master~ I already filled it all out for you and childe helped me-" He snatched it away from you." "Alright shit..You dont have to act like such a fucking nerd y/n."

The both of you walked through narukami island, through the outskirts to inazuma city while a bunch of nobushi tried to ambush you. With one swift draw of your weapon you murdered them all in one blow. Scara barely shifted his eyes away from his paper. Only to see your bloodthirsty smile as the nobushi rogue samurai began to cough up blood. He was use to seeing and experiencing reactions like this due to him always being around childe when they train within the abyss. But you. Something was off about you lately.

Scara would purposely drag you into the abyss when its usually just him and childe. He whispered to childe, pointed at a group of abyss creatures and said that they 'are after him' and the both of them would watch as you rabidly charged at his 'enemys' like a dog. Blood splatters all over your suit as you laughed at their pathetic attempts to try and get a free hit at you.

Childe

"Hey comrad! How are ya' today?" The ginger said while sitting next to you in the hallway waiting room. "IM great childe! Me and kuni went out to eat today and it was so much fun. Have you seen the way he fights childe? The way he pulls out his katana..." You daydreamed and ranted off about scaramouche to childe. The both of you shared the same bloodthirsty perspective, Weather over your s/o or just in general. But little did you know he put on a happy face infront of you. Scara asked him to 'spy' on you and ask about what the two of you did today and hear your reaction.

---

"Childe something is up with y/n. I dont know why the fuck they keep acting like that."

"Like what? Dont you usually have the same type of attitude scara.. Dont you Like that?"

"Ugh. I knew talking to you was going to be pointless. Childe, I dont know who is more of a fucking burden. You or Y/N."

Then they suddenly heard you knocking on the door. "Kuni!! Are you in their kuni!"

"the fuck-" Scara said under his breath. He halfly opened the door as childe kept quiet.

"Mmm~ master there you are.. I was hoping you could help me with my sparing tonight." You began to open the door farther and push at his tie. "No. im fucking busy." He removed your hand. "Kuni..But your always busy. And didnt i already help you finish your work today?" He sighed at your perseverance. "Y/n. One day im gonna fucking fire you if you keep pissing me off. And the fuck has been up with you lately?" "N-Nothings wrong kuni! I-im sorry. I just wanted to spend more time with you.." That was all you needed to hear to severely apologize for bothering him and went 'home'

"Well shit. Comrad ill leave this up too you :D -" the ginger patted the short mans shoulder and walked towards the door.

"where the fuck are you going?"

"Im going home-"

He looked at childe with a dead expression.

"Hey listen. If this is really a problem to you, Just get rid of y/n. Your stronger then them right? Problem solved."

"Im not going to fucking kill them."

--

Y'all do it 🤪

scara would obviously feel some sort of way about your sudden change in behavior But be entertained at this 'game' he'd play with you. You came off so sweet and well put together. you would apologize and blush at the littlest of things but now you we're addicted to him. You murdered with no hesitation, Every thought you had was about him. You'd send nude pictures of yourself, Even videos to him while he was at meetings of you fingering yourself. But it was nothing he couldnt handle. He knew how to always put you in your place, He already surpassed you in everyway. He was stronger then you and certainly had you wrapped around his finger. He threatened to fire you hundreds of times just to see how fucking scared and how'd much you beg but never did fire you unlike everyone else, Yet every single time your heart would skip a beat at the word. Leaving kuni was something you never wanted to happen. Ever. Kuni concluded that he'd have fun with you for as long as he wanted. He knew dam well you weren't going anywhere unless he chose.

his phone rang.

"What?" Scara answered in annoyance.

"K~kuni i~" He was greeted to the sound of you moaning "im- F-fuck~ Im s' sorry for earlier. Can i be your good pet and make it up for you daddy? Im waiting for you at home"

Scara went to his penthouse and when he opened the door to his room, while taking off his tie. You we're putting on a show for him, face down ass up with 2 of your fingers going back and forth inside your wet hole. "Kuni~ your home....P-please~ I want you inside of me~" "Oh yeah? Is my little slut that desperate f' me?" He took no time taking off his belt and shoving his pants aside to stuff his cock inside of you.

[thegrimreaperisanerd]

hi :) binge read your de fic that you have posted on ao3 last night and really enjoyed all of it! excited to see any updates. was wondering if you have any rec for other fic youve read and enjoyed-- i am not god's bravest soldier and do not enjoy trudging through tags and was wondering if you had read anything yourself that you really enjoyed lolol

Hey, thanks so much!!! Sorry it's taken a couple days to answer this, I'm poor as shit and have two jobs now wah... capitilism...

I'm working on the next 46' chapter, It's about 70% complete and I generally let it sit for an evening once it's done then re-read it the next day to catch the vast majority of mistakes (I edit everything myself) so I'd say expect that in the coming days.

I have some thoughts! I... Have never been asked for fic recs before so I'm gonna list a bunch in no particular order that I enjoyed, and reasons why. I will note that I tend to enjoy meaty plot-based works over fluff, so that's what I'll be recommending. Anyway!

Paddling Out (THE REPEATER CORPSE CONUNDRUM) - @transhitman - So this is the first DE fic I read and it set the bar pretty fucking high. YOU'VE GOT: a very cool and insular setting (don't get me wrong I like fics where they travel around Revachol too, but there's something to be said for building a set and living in it for a while) YOU'VE GOT: extremely harrowing tension and pale-fuckery YOU'VE GOT: some genuinely beautiful, heartfelt moments (I don't want to spoil anything but "people don't need your permission to care about you" kinda undid me) YOU'VE ALSO GOT: Amazing art?! Always a bonus, I wish I could draw people lol

Have You Heard The News That You're Dead? - Wizardlover - Time Loop shenanigans hell yeah! Basic premise: Kim is *unable* to save Harry's life after he's shot at the tribunal, each time he dies he Reawakens in Martinaise on the first day and desperately has to try and find a way to either prevent the Tribunal entirely, or survive it. I think the major draw to this one is how well it's characterised and how well that lends to the major source of tension: trying to convince THE WORLD'S BIGGEST SKEPTIC that you *a man he 'has only just met'* is actually stuck in a time loop. Juicy shit.

The Case Of The Man Who Two-Thirds Wasn't There - @glisteningceruleaneyes - We got another case fic here, gang. This is one of those "they travel around Revachol" numbers I previously mentioned. A lot to love about this fic; the minor OCs are all loveable (or at least well-written, looking at you Mr. Bigot-All-Rounder), the elements of writing in the game's style (particularly use of Harry's 'to do' list that you find in the ledger, you don't see that as often!) are all fantastic. Also without spoiling too much I'm a sucker for hurt/ comfort :) I like when bad things happen to our specialist guy :) ALSO! alternating chapters, Kim vs Harry's perspectives contrast REALLY well! Just a super enjoyable read. - On that note I also wanna include a special mention: there's a podfic for this one and since I mentioned my two jobs, I've been listening to audiobooks at work (I'm a cleaner. It's very boring) and that was a fun change of pace!

The Emergent Causeway - hal_incandenza - Now you KNOW this one is good because it's the only *unfinished* fic I'm recommending. Again, We've got art! We've got a brand new (non-Revachol!) setting that still feels excellently Elysium! We got that excellent balance of humour and misery from the get go! EXCELLENT murder mystery so far, I am intrigued AND also there's a fucking puppy. Hell yeah. This one's from Kim's perspective and does a really good job of it, nothing like a man being begrudgingly sent on holiday and being somewhat relieved to have a corpse to deal with.

A Spilled Kaleidoscope - @spilledkaleidoscope - I'm actually recommending a series here. Real definition of "came for the art, stayed for the writing" I mostly have a soft spot because I got to watch a few "haha, what if-?" musing text posts become a series of written chapters and INCREDIBLE DRAWINGS HOLY SHIT. Like, you really just draw hands for fun, huh? This person made a pact with some sort of devil beasts to draw hands very good, at the bare minimum we can read their fiction.

Nothing To Lose But Our Chains - Lepak - I almost forgot this one and I honestly can't believe it because this is one of these ones that you need a cigarette afterwards. Good fucking god. This is probably the best fic I've ever read in terms of not shying away from the heavy themes that make Disco Elysium such a beautiful, moving game. It tackles a racism in many forms, particularly how people like Kim (in working for the RCM) and immigration laws do their part in upholding racist systems, despite the way it hurts him too. Of course, it's also excellently written with tense scenes and some real funny moments. A real good'un here.

The Catacomb Killer - SupposedToBeWriting - Give Harry more memory loss. Make him convinced he killed a kid. Make *Kim* convinced he killed a kid... Then the plot thickens. I won't lie I can't remember fuck all about this one because I was mostly drunk when I read it, but if it was good enough that I kept reading instead of smoking a spliff or something then it must have been excellent... I will re-read it when I have the time, lmao.

MURDER ON THE AIRWAVES - @randomisedmongoose - I'm just a really big fan of murder mysteries and gore. You show me somebody with brain matter pouring from their earholes and I'm like "yum yum, more of that please." I am a sucker for curious methods of murder and this one's good for that. Lots of trekking back and forth like in the game again. More ACAB - always good.

I did not mean to include this many...........................

Oh well. Here's my list, there are plenty of others I've enjoyed but these are just the ones that came to mind! Thanks again for reading my fic! Always makes me happy when people let me know they enjoy my writing :3

[kafkaoftherubble]

185.2章：放下？还是压抑？可贺，抑或可悲？

// Chapter 185.2: Detachment v. Repression

This ramble concerns To Your Eternity manga Chapter 185.2. It is edited from a conversation between (yea you guessed it) @bestbonnist and me after the chapter dropped before I had to hastily run off because sorry gotta see shits with my Besto Furrendo! Lisan al-Ghaib! Lisan al-Ghaib!!!

Although this chapter is devoid of hype moments—unlike C184.1 where plenty of us were sent into a frenzy— and good old macabre, this is genuinely one of my favorite chapters to date.

Because it became a really nice philosophical discussion between friends. Sounds a tad cheesy when I say it like that...

(1) Two Different Perspectives on Fushi's Latest State of Mind

Ray expressed dismay that Fushi's coping mechanism seems to gave become even more terrible because they are essentially repressing their emotions. They are telling themself not to feel anything and to be detached. In the Wish Era, Fushi seemed to have become more resigned to their fate, which became starkly apparent when contrasted by the Doll and Andy's loud, outward desire to see Abel live.

That dismal observation actually stunned me—because I happened to see this development in a positive light. What better state of mind should Fushi aspire to attain apropos to their immortality... if not a state of non-attachment? After all, if they don't learn to be so, then the sheer impermanence of life will torment them forever. To me, non-attachment—or in a more English-natural manner of speaking, detachment—is a goal worthy of pursuing, even if it is often fraught with erratic instances such as mistaking "repressing one's emotions" as similar to "being genuinely unperturbed."

----

(2) The Benefits of Attachment

In this story's universe, attachment keeps a person's faie (their soul) around.

Hence, to Ray, Fushi's loss of attachment implies their death (which I agree is a reasonable projection for the end of this story). When they no longer have anything to do—no goal—then it is time for them to move on.

But more than that, there's this other thing Ray is worried about. The manga asked whether Fushi is human, especially in its earlier exploration. Whether they think they are human. Therefore, it's hard to see Fushi's detachment as anything other than dehumanizing themself ("I'm not human so I don't deserve to be attached/feel bad when people I care about die.") It's one step to Fushi's progression into becoming a deity at the expense of their humanity.

This prospect is upsetting because they wanna see Fushi leave as a human being, as someone who dies after living a satisfying life like Yuuki did.

Ray also argued that there's a difference between acceptance and detachment. "Acceptance is acknowledging that something is out of your control and acknowledging that the way you feel about that." To them, Fushi seemed to have acknowledged that something was out of their control, but they hadn't yet acknowledged their feelings toward it.

Then, they conceded that while Fushi was frank about being pained by people leaving, ultimately, the dude seemed deadset on trying to ignore that pain altogether. "Fushi isn't good at being 'above' feeling things!"

I agree with this. Of course, they aren't! One of Fushi's powers is supernatural empathy. They can't ignore the sensation of pain or (occasionally) love in their vicinity even if they try. Feeling shit is what they do, willingly or not. And from an emotional connection like that, one easily forms attachments.

---

(3) The Common Error: Mistaking Detachment with Apathy

Strangely, at that point in our conversation, it became clear that Ray thought Fushi should not be detached because it stops them from accepting death—while I think Fushi should learn to be detached because it helps them to accept death. Same destination, but different ways of assessing detachment as a path.

Now, of course, when I use the term "detachment" or "non-attachment" (preferred), I'm once again drawing it from a Buddhist philosophical perspective. Because dude, it's me, 睿得失。You fucking signed up for this the moment you talk to me, bwaahhahahahaha!

Even Buddhists, born and raised, often make the mistake of conflating "equanimity," which non-attachment encourages, with "apathy."

One of the four sublime qualities (brahmavihārā), equanimity (upekkhā) is the state of being unwavering and unperturbed even in the face of loss and gain [1], good-repute and ill-repute, praise and censure, and sorrow and happiness. Its far enemies—as in, its direct contrasting vices—are greed and resentment. But its near enemy—the quality mendaciously close to equanimity—is apathy.

[1] Just a little aside: this is why I joked that Fushi should take up my self-given Chinese name in our conversation. 睿得失 means "being wise (about one's) gain and loss." The hope of attaining some semblance of upekkha is built into the name already.

Plenty of people think being detached means being uncaring and indifferent, and that it has some elements of dehumanization to it—be it to other people or to yourself. But it's not. Being detached is to keep a balance between concern and coercion. It's expressing compassion while being mindful not to conflate your genuine care with your desire to will things and people to bend to the state or situation you wanted.

Fushi and us mortals could easily realize one fact about life: it is truly impermanent. The desire to impose our will on the universe—as if there is some supernatural feature to our will that can influence things to happen—is a source of agitation. Life doesn't bend to our will; it indifferently stays impermanent even when we demand it to be permanent in some sort of personal bliss.

In Buddhist thought, it's our actions and intentions that impart changes. Our will (and our demanding desires) don't. We'll revisit this in our 5th Chapter later.

In other words! Contrary to Ray's interpretation, I see being detached not as imposing a limit on your compassion but liberating it from constraints. Now that you're detached, your mode of compassion is centered around the situation and people as they are, not as you hope them to be. True compassion asks for nothing in return—not because you suppress your demands, but because you genuinely have none to begin with.

----

(4) Fushi's Laudable Baby Steps

What really made me think that Fushi had grown here was their insistence that whether Abel lives or dies is "his decision to make."

Not Fushi's, despite their god-like powers. Not Doll or Andy, despite their love and attachment to Abel. It's Abel's choice. All Fushi can do is to accept whatever the man says—and that acceptance is only possible if they begin practicing detachment. After all, attachment results in the reactions Doll and Andy expressed.

To me, Fushi is taking a step in the right direction already. This is the kind of wisdom I think an immortal, most of all, should gradually pick up (I also think mortals like us should, too, but that's beside the point).

Here is where I think Ray's criticisms warrant merits in my interpretation: Actually practicing detachment/non-attachment is hard as fuck. I wouldn't deny that though it doesn't make you an apathetic non-human, you're not gonna be very normal-humanlike if you manage to be equanimous either. While learning to be detached, one often takes up a lot of problematic tactics and mistakes it to be detachment.

One such misguided tactic? Suppression of emotions. You force yourself to pretend you're not feeling anything instead of facing them and realizing their falsity while believing you're being detached. So Ray's concerns are completely warranted, because I don't believe Fushi has consummated their learning either. They wouldn't have lied about the massacre if they were really that detached.

Repressing your emotion, as a tactic, is wrong, but it is the hallmark of someone who's trying to get there, especially when you compound it with the philosophy Fushi was articulating. They care. But they are also being clear-eyed about the limits of their demand.

I don't think they seem resigned here. I think they are being wise. Baby steps, and their method is imperfect, but good nonetheless.

----

(5) Yuuki the GOAT and His Biggest W Yet

Fushi grappled with wanting to impose their will to make others live as long as they in the Modern Arc, right? That's one of their biggest and most constant sources of dukkha (dissatisfaction/suffering). But Yuuki's satisfying death and life... actually steered him in the right direction!

Fushi didn't come to earn detachment because of some horrible, tragic death turning them jaded and cynical. They learned because Yuuki's life and death were that fucking good.

Learning philosophy from pain is all well and good. It is usually how people learn it (few would give a fuck about existentialism or Buddhist philosophy or stoicism or what-have-you if they weren't in a personal crisis). But learning philosophy from joy is a whole other thing. Whatever you learned from that instance has no hint of jadedness and cynicism to corrupt your thinking; it's like making a decision when you're at the most optimal state.

This is Yuuki's victory. He influenced and taught Fushi without giving him pain or trauma to live by. He was not some main character of a tragedy despite outwardly looking like a bumbling normie.

Think about it: none of the Immortals who were attached to Fushi, until now, had been capable of influencing and teaching them without accidentally leaving some grief, pain, and trauma!

Why does Fushi take on Yuuki's form so much lately—if not because Yuuki is the only one who managed to teach them without the use of pain or trauma or anything like that?

And as Ray pointed out, Yuuki was the form embodying "Peace." Even his death was offscreen and peaceful. On a bed, unpoisoned and unhurt. Fushi remembers him constantly because he makes them feel at ease.

"It's our actions and intentions that impart changes," that was what I mentioned in Chapter 3 of this long-ass ramble. Here it is exemplified. People inherit the fruits of other people's actions (and you yourself are one of those who will inherit your own actions, too). And well? These are the fruits of Yuuki's actions that Fushi continues to reap even now.

That's how complete Yuuki's W is. He managed to leave just the kind of food for thought for an Immortal that eventually set them up to grasp the kind of wisdom they lacked. Who says the Modern Arc has no lessons?

----

(6) Conclusion, or The Abrupt Ending of a Conversation

As you can tell, I really don't think Fushi's latest development is bad. Bittersweet and a bit of a mixed bag, sure, but I ultimately think it's commendable rather than worrisome. Of course, my ass interpreting things through a Buddhist lens has a lot to do with it, but brutha, this is exactly my niche! You should have seen me talk about non-self vis-a-vis Fushi in a YouTube comment section!

Ray did leave this paragraph that had eluded me because, again, the Muaa'dib was calling me and I really gotta go:

"I have a potential counter-argument for you, which is about how Fushi's ideal person to follow is kind of a mix of Yuuki (as you explained) and Kahaku (bag of mess and you haven't read that part of the present era anyways), which is putting the concept of detachment together with a really selfish kind of selflessness (as we talked about). But I'm not clear on whether that's still there after their fight with the left hand. I feel like it's lingering a little but I haven't seen much evidence for it in the wish era."

Now, I don't really know what that whole bit was like because I didn't actually read all of the Modern Arc—just the latter half. But again, "detachment" and "self-lessness" are complementary and forward-feeding to one another in Buddhist Philosophy, so on this concept alone, I don't see a clash.

I should probably clarify what Ray's "selfish kind of selflessness" meant here, but... I'm kinda tired now. And I've briefly touched on this in my essay about... Gojo Satoru, goddamn it.

Or maybe Ray should explain it themself! I distinctly remember someone owing me like, 3 essays or something. I'm such a kindhearted person I'm willing to give them a discount and accept just one essay for this week, though. Don't squander it, you!

Thank you for reading my ramble.

----

Did you enjoy this? If yes, wouldn't it be really fucking cool if you get to read essays and commentaries like these, alongside fanfic and fanart and other interesting bits, in one place?!

BECAUSE! We are thinking of starting a To Your Eternity zine! It's merely in its Interest Check phase, but you gotta fill this form up so we can see just how many people in our modest little fandom want this! Be a supporter or a contributor, it don't matter at this stage! Support is the currency here!

[annawayne]

Hello there!

I've been looking through your page for a while and I LOVE your art! Every piece is so stunning and detailed and beautiful and I don't have enough words to explain how I could stare at each piece for hours.

I'm a traditional artist (as far as skill goes I'd say I'm intermediate) looking to get into digital art and could use some help from a professional. I have no idea where to begin but I really wanna be like you someday!!! If you have any tips or anything I'd appreciate it a lot!

Anon T///T

You literally made me like this, and it's not even an exaggeration

I'm honestly so, so grateful for your words and I'm just speechless that you think SO highly of my arts T^T (even tho I couldn't call myself a professional...) And I want to thank you for telling me this and also for your time observing my drawings! I honestly try to put a lot into it, and I'm just so happy to know people take time to explore it, thank you!

As for your question, you know, it's quite ironic because I also started with traditional art.

And the best advice from me to you, first of all, don't be afraid. I honestly spent a lot of time being scared to start digital because I was always feeling "no, I should be better in traditional, so I can start digital". In fact, it's TWO absolutely different fields. No doubt, they have the same basic ground, however, the approaches that define your creativity flow differ, and that's why I want to advise you the next things, and, if I'm being honest, these words I wish I said to my past self, so I hope it'll help you, at least!

1.Your traditional skills are valuable and irreplaceable, that you gained by your hard work, patience and dedication, and it deserves a lot of appreciation - you went so far, anon, and congratulations on that! But... In digital art, these skills now have a new meaning: some of them, like basic understanding of anatomy, lightning, composition and work with colours, are incredibly useful, but everything else should be now renewed. It doesn't mean that your skills don't have any practical use, but it should be now reflected and fit into the new perspective. Starting from the way you hold your stylus to the way you work with volumes in your art, all of it should be now adjusted to digital, however, I'm telling you all of it not to scare, but only to support you, since when you try to adjust to these new rules, there's always some discomfort, you would compare with the way you drew in traditional and eventually, the result won't be the same as it was in traditional and it could discourage you. But it's absolutely not your problem! Any change requires some time to get used to the new circumstances, with moving from traditional art to digital - all the same! So, my first advice is give yourself time to get used to the new environment and the new challenges. With time it'll get better, no doubt about it!

2. Use ALL the possibilities of the digital software. Flip your canvas, use a lot of different layers, layer modes, use Liquify tool, transformation and move around the selected part of the drawing, and don't think it's "cheating". No! It's all of your new instruments and it's all here to help you.

3. Be prepared that your colour palette will be differently visible from different devices - laptop, phone, tablet - all of it will have slightly different colorization/saturation, so when you play with the colours, please remember to check it sometimes on different gadgets. I was a victim of it, too, and some of my arts have a very bad work with colour volumes, which resulted in a colorization mess...

I think that it's one of the most important things to start with, and especially - don't be afraid, anon! You're much more capable than you think you are, and digital drawing is just another step in your creative journey!

I apologise if this advice was not so helpful and maybe you expected something else, but if you want advice on something more precise, please ask me and I'll do my best to help as much as possible and if I'm competent enough.

Thank you once again for your kind words, I honestly appreciate it so, so much!

[chronocrump]

Hello Chronocrump, I recently stumbled upon your art the other day, and I couldn't stop staring at your gallery.. It makes me realize there is so much thats lacking from my art that I really want to improve on. I felt desperate to contact you, but wasn't sure if it would be rude. I wanted to try to ask you, how do you approach drawing? Do you structure it first, or start with a gesture drawing? Focus on the form or perspective first? Etc My other question might seem strange, but I wanted to ask how do you hold your pencil? Ive learned that different pencil grips can drastically change the quality of someone's art. Thank you for your time. I'm sorry if my message is to long, or you don't want to respond back. I wanted to atleast try, but also let you know that your work has been very inspiring for me to keep trying.

I'm glad to answer your questions, it's seriously no problem. I wanna start by telling you how amazed I was when I checked your profile to see your work. I know you have a huge lack of confidence in it, but your art is genuinely beautiful, and frankly, looking at it, I found it hard to believe that you would be asking me for advice...from my perspective, you're way ahead of me. You're certainly better with color; you might notice I really only post sketches lol. I really don't want to dismiss or downplay your feelings about it, but I have to let you know how I felt looking at it. To me it seems like your brain is telling you your art isn't good enough when it very, very much is.

Anyway, enough gushing from me lol. On to your questions.

Usually when starting a drawing, I very loosely and lightly sketch the overall form of the pose I wanna do. Very rough basic shapes/forms to get everything in its right place before I start really drawing it with confident lines. Even then, all the lines are subject to change; nothing is sacred. To be honest tho, I usually mess up the proportions and have to fix them a bit lol. I try to sketch cleanly and concisely, meaning I try not to draw a lot of lines in a spot that could really be done with just one or two. I'm not super strict on that tho, at the end of the day while I try to draw efficiently, I also want to draw comfortably. So with something like a big circle for example, I'll draw that pretty sketchy. In terms of perspective, I'm trying to get better at it, but when considering how I want to use it in a drawing, it's part of the initial image or idea I have in my head, so I lay it out from the beginning. I do also draw structure lines on the face, just a simple cross to plan where the center of the face will be. Lately I've also tried taking more pictures of myself for pose reference and it works well.

Most of my practice comes from studying my favorite artists and trying to emulate the specific ways they structure their drawings. I should actually be doing dedicated practice sessions with that, but I digress. Recently I've been trying to practice from photos first thing in the morning, tho I'm finding it hard to commit to doing it daily. I just go on pinterest and find cool poses, then draw them, trying to get down the basic shapes and prominent features more than focusing on minute details. I've posted some of these practice sketches on here but there's a few more on my twitter if you wanna see what I'm talking about.

In terms of my pencil grip, I'm not sure...since I was little, I've always had an unusual grip. Looking it up, I guess it's like the "dynamic quadrupod" grip, but with my forefinger farther back. Really the most I try to do is draw less with my wrist and more with my forearm. Some say you should "draw from the shoulder", and that sounds right...I guess it's all about avoiding straining your wrist and getting carpal tunnel lol.

Anyway, I'm flattered that you would ask me for advice. To be honest, it makes me feel like I should have more confidence in my own art. And you should too! I can say that, objectively, your art is very good. I hope my advice was actually helpful and not generic stuff you've heard before lol. Good luck in your art journey.

[crypt-void]

I'm so normal about Chalk Tablet Towers by Gorillaz. I'm so completely normal about how if you switch the perspective, you can turn it into a story about the original narrator's loved one trying to reassure them in rehab to not give in to self destructive tendencies.

Or if you want it to be even more depressing, the loved one reminiscing on what they should have said to prevent the narrator from dying.

I love the original lyrics and how well the isolation of the song is written. At the same time, I think there's something so painfully beautiful about the idea of the narrator feeling shame and like they have to isolate themself for being in rehab. Then, the loved ones' perspective works as a response to this.

No, the narrator doesn't actually want to hurt themself. They want to come home. If they leave, they aren't just hurting themself. No, the narrator does not need to worry about everyone abandoning them. The loved one still cares for them regardless of their mental state, and they say this in a way where the loved one feels it should be obvious how much they care.

So many times in media and writing, characters struggling are often depicted as all alone and only able to help themselves. While it is true that it is ultimately up to the person struggling to make the choice to save themself, I think the reminder that there are still people there to support them is important. It gives some hope.

I love call and response songs (To Binge and Souk Eye or the English and Spanish versions of Latin Simone for example), and I love the idea that even if two characters aren't communicating face to face, they're still trying to speak to one another, which is what I feel when switching the perspective on Chalk Tablet Towers.

I'll attach the og lyrics with my own response lyrics below here. There really isn't much change, but I feel like the differences in how the narrators feel is important.

My own:

Chalk tablet towers like drawing shadows

Chemical distraction, you are not with me

You departed in the spring to a distant star

But you could not get back, you had gone too far (oh-oh-oh-oh)

You wanna get drunk?

You wanna get stoned?

You wanna give up?

You wanna come ho-o-o-ome.

Watching rockets take off

From the parting sea

How will I ever touch you

If you are not with me? (oh-oh-oh-oh, out here)

There's only silence (out there)

No form of contact (out here)

You am dreaming

Looking into the darkness (oh-oh-oh-oh)

Home (Home)

Home (Home)

Home (Homе)

Home (Home)

Home (Homе)

Home (Home)

Home (Home)

Home (Home)

You say you won't be back 'til the end of summer

Y'know I'll still be here.

I won't give up on you, darling

You know that I care

I don't need no trophies

No cell with a view

There's nothing I wouldn't give

One minute with you, ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh

You, ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh

You, ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh

Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh

Original:

Chalk tablet towers like drawing shadows

Chemical distraction, you are not with me

I departed in the spring to a distant star

But I could not get back, I had gone too far (oh-oh-oh-oh)

I wanna get drunk

I wanna get stoned

I wanna give up

I wanna go ho-o-o-ome

Watching rockets take off

From the parting sea

How will I ever touch you

If you are not with me? (oh-oh-oh-oh, out here)

There's only silence (out here)

No form of contact (out here)

I am dreaming

Looking into the darkness (oh-oh-oh-oh)

Home (Home)

Home (Home)

Home (Homе)

Home (Home)

Home (Homе)

Home (Home)

Home (Home)

Home (Home)

I won't be back 'til the end of summer

Will you still be there?

I won't give up on you, darling

Just tell me that you care

I don't need no trophies

No cell with a view

There's nothing I wouldn't give

One minute with you, ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh

You, ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh

You, ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh

Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh.

Alright, thanks for coming to my not so eloquently written Ted talk.

[bettsfic]

Oh yes! I think you would love the main protagonists and their connection. I'm feral about this movie, I just watched the day before yesterday, and I'm so anxious to have time off so I can draw fanart of the thing because it's soooo good.

Now, I love horror, so I have seen so much horror in my life that I can tell you this is one of those movies in the genre that are different. Our protagonist is Sam (short for Samira) and she has a cat named Frodo (I'm sorry but that was genius in so many ways, I can't tell you why because spoilers but they really make it made sense, there is truly a connection there). Frodo the cat is a character as well, I have never seen a movie before that has an animal that has indeed some weight into the movie (at least not one that is not like Marley and Me or those kind of movies).

Anyway, sorry, back to Sam. The first thing you know when the movie starts is that she has cancer. A woman who has cancer in a movie that develops into an apocalyptic world is really interesting. The movie explored this in detail, and I loved every second.

She is tired, she is angry, she is brave, and at the same time, you can tell she is scared af. She has some problems trying to connect with people because she thinks there is no point in it anymore, and probably because she thinks they are sorry for her and therefore their interest is not genuine.

She used to be a writer. She wrote a book about poems. She doesn't have the drive to write anymore, but she carries a notebook, whatever she goes, and I love her so much, Betty. I can't even explain the whole of it.

So next, we get to know the ML. Name is Eric, she is from England and went to NY to study to be a lawyer. He is how you write Eddie on your Stranger Things fics. I went even more feral at this point, I was chewing my fist. They were perfect together.

They connect. They make wonderful things for each other.

THEY EXCHANGE CLOTHES!!!!

OLDER WOMAN, YOUNGER MAN!!!

I don't wanna say more about it so you can enjoy it for the first time yourself, if you want to watch it. (But if you want to know more, just say so, I would be happy to talk about it for hours!)

I would say something I just learned yesterday before I go. Eric has anxiety in the movie. He has panic and anxiety attacks during the movie. What they removed is that he was trying to kill himself when the whole alien/monster ordinal began, and then, he met Sam. They erase this part from the movie, I guess because of time, because I could tell anyway while watching that Eric was maybe suecidal or that al least he was neurodivergent (again, I would love to elaborate but spoilers).

Hope you have the chance to watch it, I would love to know your thoughts if you do so. Also, you can scream at me about it if you enjoy it as much as I did.

So basically, this is a movie about two really lonely people that connect and gain perspective about life and themselves while trying to survive the beginning of an apocalypse. It felt very transformative. It was perfect.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk. Also, sorry for any weird grammar sentences. I hope I manage to come across all my ideas, English is not my first language.

I forgot to tell you, they are not trying to escape the apocalypse for 3rd parts of the movie. They are just trying to get pizza. SAM STOPS TO SMELL BOOKS AT A BOOK STORE IN THE MIDDLE OF AN APOCALYPSE!! HELP! SAD BOY FOLLOWING OLDER WOMAN LIKE A PUPPY!! There is so much going on, and I can tell this is not a horror per se. I just adore them so much. Sorry, I just needed to add these.

okay you have Compelled me. i will walk to the ends of the earth for any "sad boy following older woman like a puppy" narrative.

this is one of the few movies i don't want to see alone so i'll have to see if my roommate would want to go with me sometime this week. if i see it i'll let you know my thoughts!

[vomitlover-art]

Art Summary 2023 aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Last new years i got really down because every artist I knew was doing year recaps. I decided to avoid that this year, I was gonna try to draw at least one thing every month. I was able to do it thank gosh gdkjfnghjf.

I wasn't able to do an excellent piece every month- sometimes just a sketch. Maybe that should be goal 2024? I'll try to make a really good piece every month.

Here is my favorite art of every month. Thank you for enjoying my art this year aaaaaaaaa thanku thanku aaaaaaaaa

January

Didn't start off strong really. Best thing I did this month was a sketchpage of Q. The campaign she's in started in January and has been going strong since =w=

February

I couldn't design between the two aack. The first was a lil sketch I did when I first started dating Cam. She said she wanted to watch me draw and I couldn't think of anything, so I just started putting together something mechanical aack. You can tell I kinda got tired after just drawing the head .-.

Second was when I was still super into Bocchi. Still am, just haven't drawn any fanart in a while gkfdjhnjgff.

March

"Recipes for Strawberry Jam" was my absolute favorite thing to work on all year I think. This specific page took so long but it all worth it. It was my first serious foray into making a comic, using color, and trying out weird perspectives and I think it worked out so well. I'm really hoping to do more soon =w=

April

This is around the time I switched my sketch paper to a more grey-color rather than a yellow-ish tone aack. I later switch it again to stark white. Road Queen~

May

I drew one (1) thing in May. May is always the worst part of the year aaaa. It starts to get hot again and because I live in the desert that means that life is suddenly unbearable and I have to Deal with all of that.

June

Ultravex! Everyone loves Ultravex =w=

One of the best xenobiology pieces I put together aack. I love designing animals that are fucked up and horrible.

July

Thricefold Judged.

August

Another sketch month. Summer sucks aa

September

Sketch this month, all in prep for Inktober \o/

October

It's hard to pick a fave for inktober, but it's probably the Lavender piece =w=

It was really calming and nice to take my time and work out individual details. I feel weird describing my own art gkjdnhfj I just. liked this one aaa

November

I made a lot of Maleghast necros this month. Was a little sad I didn't get more comms for Deadsouls Necros. It was my favorite one to make ghkfjdhnjgf

December

I was really happy to be able to make a necromancer for the Archivists homebrew house aack. I honestly didn't draw much in Decemeber except for. A lot of vent art I'd rather not share and nsfw art I don't wanna share aack. Almost fumbled it all at the end aaa

This was the first year I made like, any significant living off of commissions. I hope to continue growing next year. Thank you sincerely for following me. It's a little... nerve wracking, but I'm glad to have people aack. I'd like to keep working like this- making art on commissions and ko-fi supporters, and everything helps. It's always been my dream to scrape a living from my art, so, thank you. aaaaaaa

[genericpuff]

How long do you usually take to plan for a really long story/comic? Do you do a rough plan or a fully detailed one? Any apps you use for planning?

Thank you in advance!

It depends on the project. For my long-term series, it definitely takes me a good while to finalize everything from start to finish, but as a general rule, I try to keep my writing one step ahead of where I'm drawing, for two purposes: so I can have a goal in mind to propel the comic forward (I don't want to be writing or drawing on the fly more than I have to), and so I can have enough planned ahead for editing, because by the time I get to the thing I've planned, my writing has likely grown more and my perspective on it has shifted, so I'm not releasing "first takes", so to speak.

Usually I use LibreOffice and just sort of keep a few separate files for different purposes. I always have a "[story] shit" file of some kind where I just dump thoughts and notes that I don't wanna lose lmao but then I usually also have a file that's meant for outlining. I think Rekindled is the first comic where I haven't employed my spreadsheet method, which is when I'd use Excel/Spreadsheets to lay out panel descriptions and dialogue. So like this:

(Episode 14 of Time Gate: [AFTERBIRTH])

Rekindled is more just note-taking, what I want to happen in each episode, and if there's any dialogue I come up with that I definitely want to include, I write it down in there. I've done all of Rekindled's process through Scrivener, which I learned how to use shortly before starting it. IDK yet if I like Scrivener enough to use it for my bigger projects, but it's been helpful for organization and keeping my files all in one central "hub" area.

So right now I have up to about Episode 70 drafted out like that ^^^ but things do change during the actual production of the episodes. Sometimes I'll write something in my notes that doesn't flow well in actual comic form. Sometimes I'll write dialogue during the sketching stage that I don't like anymore by the time I get to the final rendering. It's all a stage-by-stage process from drafting to final release.

The question of "how long" really just comes down to the note-taking process. I tend to work in bursts, the last time I did any written episode layouts was a few weeks ago and that was because I got like, 40+ episodes done in a day LOL So I'm all set for the next little bit, but I'll have to get back to planning by Episode 50 if I haven't done any before then. I'd like to have the entirety of Rekindled plotted out by the end of the year so I can get a more exact answer of how long Rekindled will be :' )

When it comes to software/apps, keep it simple, use what you know. I've been using standard word editors and spreadsheets for years now because it works for me. Scrivener's been fun to learn but as I mentioned, IDK if I'm gonna be able to stick with it for bigger projects like Time Gate because it feels like I'm wearing different shoes that I'm not used to lol But that's just me, feeling "at home" with my software is just an important thing to me, for others it might not matter so much. Scrivener definitely has the most features for drafting/writing/editing, but it's also not very beginner-friendly and there's a huge learning curve to really understanding how the software is designed and what it fully offers.

There's also Plottr which I've been using for [AFTERBIRTH], it's really helpful for people who need visual aids because it allows you to lay out story timelines through imagery. But I really only use it for laying out story beats from end to end, I don't use it much beyond that, any extensive note taking or scripting happens in actual word documents.

(idk if this is how you're actually supposed to use Plottr but it's how I use it so w/e lolol)

Ultimately it's all up to you, what works for me might not work for others so don't be afraid to try things even if it ends up not working out for you. Obv that might be a bit more of a "nah" when it comes to paid software like Scrivener and Plottr, but there are loads of tutorials on Youtube that teach you how to use the software that you can hopefully use as a glimpse into how they work to see if they'd be up your alley before paying money for 'em.

Hope that helps! ˋ( ° ▽、° )

[capillaryspice]

Unpopular opinion rant incoming:

I did not enjoy Baldurs Gate 3

Before anything else I will admit I am biased, as strategy turn based games aren't something I'm usually into to begin with. I mostly ended up playing it because my partners and a friend are SUPER into the game and wanted to do a 4 player run. I do have 30 hours on a solo run I tried to get used to the game with, so I have a decent bit of experience with how it's supposed to run as a single player but I'm not judging companion stories or anything because I haven't completed them.

I do understand why people like BG3, and I don't wanna rain on anyone's parade for a very critically acclaimed game, but I do have some thoughts that I just need to get out of my head, so if you like the game and don't wanna hear me complain about it just scroll on ahead. If you do want to hear me complain, I'd love to hear if anyone else has had the same thoughts, because genuinely I've not really had anyone to talk to that hasn't been head-over-heels for it. (Actual thoughts under the cut)

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With that out of the way, for starters BG3 is a very impressive game. From a technical perspective, from a voice acting quality perspective, the sheer amount of tiny tiny details, etc... it is IMPRESSIVE. Too impressive, I'd almost have to say. Because, despite being impressed by it, I did not have FUN playing the game. For all its details it doesn't draw me in. For all the technical marvel, it's just too janky. It's all of the rules of DND and none of the immersion or fun

I would love to have had a functioning camera position that didn't give me whiplash whenever a new character in the combat of 20+ NPCs decides to do so much as shuffle to the left. It feels like pulling teeth when trying to select/interact with anything, god forbid a reaction happens while you're trying to attack and you just completely lose the action bc the interruption to movement pauses everything and screws u up. I'd love to be able to jump without going through two menu screens and a map to just hop over a gap(I'm never complaining about the Dark Souls jump being too complicated ever again). Also everything moves so slow, I would kill for a fucking Sprint button.

I would have liked anything approaching a streamlined combat system that didn't take a long ass time to set up a move that takes six seconds to play out, and then wait for ten minutes literally doing nothing while the rest of the NPCs in initiative whip the viewpoint around and get it stuck in walls and corpses so I can't even see what's happening while I can't do anything for the rest of the round

A lesser gripe, but just a bizarre choice to not do: Id like to hear the character voice I chose in character creation for cutscenes, instead of just background ambient lines. Like, if the last dragon age game (from 2014 mind you) can have a voiced main character with multiple voice options, this new game that has unique voice lines for every goddamn squirrel on the map and ALREADY PAID VOICE ACTORS TO VOICE THE MAIN CHARACTER TO BEGIN WITH can probably afford to do so. Hell, I'd like some background music that isn't just the tenth rendition of Down By The River in a different key. The bard music is all gorgeous, why couldn't they have reused some of those compositions as ambient music for different locations?

This is a MASSIVE game, and what they've put into it is definitely admirable, but like. Not in the ways that make a game breathable or immersive? The choices in where they've decided to dedicate the anal level of detail seems misguided from a just general player standpoint; There's some gorgeous settings in the game, but I was distracted every time by getting frustrated that I couldn't even get a more-than-vague look at any of the scenery I actually enjoyed because the camera is so limited in its angles. So I can't take a good look around what should be a beautiful temple that I'd love to see closer, but I can individually inspect every moldy apple and tax form on a random dinner table instead. It's a vast open world, but the character models have very clearly defined paths they have to stay within. The amount of unique NPCs is insane, but the mechanics themselves TREAT them as NPCs(i.e., resurrection rules), and they don't react to PCs unless ur doing Violence or Crimes (even og skyrim had NPCs have comments on if u weren't like wearing clothes, for instance). Every shelf and bag and nook and cranny are searchable, but that gets overwhelming very quickly as you have to choose between taking like an hour of real time to clear a cluttered area and possibly find something important but more likely just end up with a bajillion rotten carrots, or move on but have the anxiety of knowing you've possibly missed something vital. There's a million options you can take at any moment with any object or character, but there's rarely anything indicating what will be vital later for general world stuff. But then with the main plot (the Emperor, Raphael, the crèche) it felt very railroaded in the sense that TECHNICALLY you could try and choose between outcomes, but your choices don't actually matter because you die if you choose The Wrong Option (or end up in effectively death sentence combat) and will end up where they want you to go regardless.

BG3 isn't a game I want to spend time playing; it's not a world I can wander around and appreciate the beauty of and get lost in the soundtrack or the environments. The whole combat system is incredibly frustrating to manage, and just feels like Hurry Up And Wait. I'm not gonna knock the romance parts of the game, I've heard good things and haven't gotten far enough in any of em to have an educated opinion on, so really the only thing the game has to offer in spades OTHER than romance is replayability. Which normally I would say is a good thing, but for how long of a game it is and how non immersive the gameplay and world feel, it really just ends up being a game of fucking around and seeing how many things you can get an alternate dialogue for or create new stats around. Like, this is great for completionist folks who love collecting achievements and making the most busted crunchy math-based builds possible, but Baldurs Gate 3 to me just isn't a game I can sit down and have Fun(TM) relaxing and playing.

It's a game that I feel absolutely missed the forest for the trees.

So anyways, essay complete. I've only slept like 6 hours total in the last three days so a lot of this may or may not even make sense. But on so much sleep deprivation finishing this game and realizing I was just frustrated with it instead of actually feeling accomplished for having finished it, it was the final straw and I just needed to get the thoughts down somewhere

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk

[lilaeleaf]

I love your art so much! Do you have any of your brushes for sale, or any tutorials, especially on colour?

Hi!! Thank you so much! 💕

Honestly, my go-to brushes are all procreate brushes with slight adjustments (like stabilization, etc.) my personal preference is brushes that kind of mimic graphite pencils. The best thing you can do is find a brush that suits you & get very comfortable using it! Specific brushes won’t necessarily improve your work, it’s all about practice! (But yes, a nice brush does help!)

I do have a video on my favourite brushes:

I’ve never really made any tutorials, but I’m happy to try and relay what I know and what I’ve learned so far!

Colours are a big part of illustration! I could probably ramble on for hours, honestly—in any case, it’s always helpful to know fundamentals of colour theory. Once you learn and apply it, it becomes intuitive! I’m gonna stick to RGB colours because CMYK is it’s own thing (printing!)

There’s a handful of basic terms like hue (pure colours), shade (adding black to a colour), tint (adding white to a colour), tone (adding gray to a colour) and also opacity (transparency) that help us understand and define the complexity of colours.

My colour choices are more often than not a gut feeling—but that does come from practice! There’s loads of colour palettes available online like this one, but if you wanna come up with your own, there’s some neat ways to do that using a colour wheel! Colours can broken down into primary, secondary and tertiary colours. We can also categorize them as warm or cold. With this we can make colour schemes!

Some basic schemes!

Complimentary: two colours, opposites on the colour wheel

Analogous: three colours side-by-side

Triadic: three colours that form a triangle, evenly spaced

Monochromatic: using one colour (using different shades)

(Bonus) Monochromatic with accent colour : using one colour as a foundation and having an accent colour (similar to analogous, but one colour is used for a majority of the piece while the accent colour is used sparingly)

It’s also important to keep in mind that values (a colour’s range from dark to light) will look different on different colours. Sometimes, you’ll put two colours together and think “huh, something about this feels off” and it turns out, the colours just happen to be very close in value and melt together. Switching your piece to grayscale just to check on your values every so often can help with contrast and muddiness! A light tone on a darker tone will look brighter than it really is. Colours can also influence each other and trick your eyes.

Environment is also a big part of choosing your colours for a piece. Determining what the setting is important! A sunset will make a drawing warmer, while a scene set in the night will usually have colder tones. Using only local colours (true colours, like green grass or blue sky) vs non-local colours (atmospheric perspective, accent colors that give depth, etc) can help enhance your drawing too. Don't be afraid of artistic interpretation!

Also, there’s always the option to use gradient maps (at least on procreate & photoshop but I’m sure it’s available in csp and other programs) where you draw in grayscale & apply a gradient map. The gradient map basically applies a color to every value (e.g all the shadows become blue and the highlights become orange) it can look really nice (and help out if colours just aren’t working that day yk)

Another thing, when I’m drawing (and this is specific to me!) I tend to start with pretty desaturated colours. Once my illustration is done, I’ll duplicate & merge my layers to do colour edits. Most programs give you the option to play with curves or colour balance—menus that allow you to play around with the hue of the shadows, midtones and highlights. I tend to make my shadows more cyan-blue, my midtones a little warmer and my highlights warmer as well. Of course, this depends on the mood of the piece, whether it’s warm or cold, lighter or darker, etc!

You can always make adjustment layers on top of your work; a low opacity yellow, magenta or blue (or anything your heart desires) overlay to tie all the colours together.

I hope this helps a bit!! Happy to answer more questions to the best of my knowledge :^)