#i wanna start getting involved in the local gay scene but i have no idea where to begin

[vanillabat99]

I've been meaning to look into local gay bars (or other nightlife venues) but I wouldn't have anyone to go with me :(

[haltandcatchfiretothemax]

FEMSLASH FEBRUARY 2021 #20: In which Cameron and Donna talk over a movie

[CN: spoilers for Gia (1998); adult women talking about sex and their sex lives]

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Since it was well-known amongst their friends just how easy it was to get Donna to invite people over, Risa unashamedly telephoned her, on a Sunday afternoon, to ask her to host a watch party for the premiere of Gia. Donna, taking the call in the kitchen, agreed immediately, and wasted no time in contacting Dr. Katie Herman, and then when Haley heard about the party, she invited herself and Vanessa. They gathered at 7pm on January 31 of 1998 in Donna’s media room.

Cameron, of course, had been the very first invite, though she had declined. “Uh, as uplifting as watching a movie that inevitably ends with a tragic death due to AIDS complications with the girls sounds, I have plans. Bos and I are going out.”

“Oh,” Donna had pouted. “Well, maybe we can watch it another time, then! Just the two of us?” When Cameron looked up from the copy of Scientific American she’d been skimming through to side-eyed her from across the kitchen island, mug of coffee in hand, Donna wheedled, “Oh come on! It’s about a hot gay woman! Played by a hot, potentially gay woman!” When Cameron gave her another look, Donna crossed her arms over her chest and said, “According to Risa, there are rumors. Something involving an on-set romance during the making of a movie called Foxfire.”

Cameron looked back down at her magazine. “It is so weird to me that they let a gay woman be a hugely successful supermodel. Or not weird, just, I don’t know.” Irritated, she flipped a page, and then added, “I don’t really wanna be interested in something just because it’s about someone gay. But also, like, sure I am? It’s, stupid.” 

With a forlorn little shrug, Donna said, “You’re right, it’s stupid. Might as well use it as an excuse to have your friends over and have fun with it then, right?”

“Again, I feel like ‘fun’ isn’t the word I’d use for watching a tragic story of addiction and terminal illness, but, sure,” Cameron said.

Despite her misgivings, Cameron happily helped Donna get the house ready that day, making sure that the spare rooms and trailer were all habitable for potential overnight guests, as she always did before they had company. When Bos came to pick her up at 4, he came in for a while, and had some coffee with Donna, and then when they were ready to be on their way, Cameron kissed Donna and wished her a nice time with their friends and their sad movie. 

Cameron and Bos went to the local shopping mall for a stroll and some browsing at a large chain retailer of books, where neither of them found anything, and then to their favorite diner, where they sat for a long time after they had their burgers and fries and slices of chocolate peanut butter pie, talking about Bos’s most recent fishing trip, and how things were at Phoenix, and how Haley and Joanie and Bos’s grandson and step-grandchildren were doing. 

Cameron returned around 8:30, and went straight to the media room to see how the watch party was going. From the sound of it, it was in full swing, Cameron could hear cheering and shouting from the hallway. She went into the room, about to say, ‘Hey, guys,’ only to be distracted by the television screen, on which Angelina Jolie had just walked out into the hallway, wearing nothing but a bemused expression. There was a full length shot from behind of her entire, naked body, and then a waist up shot of her from the front, as she tried to talk to another character. Utterly beguiled by Angelina Jolie’s extremely bare, extremely full breasts, Cameron audibly said, “…whoa.”

Everyone laughed (and Vanessa deadpanned, “I mean, we were all thinking it, right?”), which made Cameron blush slightly. 

“Hey! You’re back!” Donna said, smiling brightly. “Wanna join us?” 

Face still pink, Cameron said, “No, no I’m good, thanks! I think I’m just gonna go get my pajamas on!” They laughed more, and Cameron said, “I’ll see you all later, after the movie? Okay cool bye!” She hurried up to the bedroom, where Licorice the cat was hiding from the unexpected invasion of unfamiliar humans. 

Three and a half hours later, after the movie had ended, and they’d all discussed their reactions, questions, and critiques of it over hot chocolate, and Cameron and Donna had thanked everyone and shown them out, Donna went up to the bedroom (Licorice was still there, napping on their bed), but Cameron wasn’t there. She brushed her teeth, washed her face, changed into her pajamas, and then went back down to the kitchen, and then to the media room, where she found Cameron, box of Good’n’Plentys in hand, watching the midnight re-airing of the movie. 

“Couldn’t resist after all, then?” Donna said. 

Cameron literally jumped, sending candy flying. “Jesus, Donna!” 

“Want some company?” Donna offered.

“If you really wanna watch it again, I guess, sure,” Cameron said, trying to collect all of the licorice bits that had fallen into her lap. Donna sat down, getting as close to Cameron as she comfortably could, and crossed her legs underneath her. Aggrieved, Cameron complained, “The stuff with the parents? Depressing.”

“Yeah,” Donna agreed. “In some ways she kinda reminds me of someone, though? I don’t know. Tall and outrageously beautiful yet weird and intense, streetwise yet naive, in love with a lovely if seemingly square woman....”

Cameron smiled bashfully. “If only I’d liked looking pretty, and being seen! I too could be a bisexual supermodel!” She shook some more candy into her mouth. Thickly, she said, “I can’t believe I ever did beauty pageants. I’m so glad I stopped, Christ.”

They sat quietly, Cameron becoming even quieter as Gia and makeup artist Linda met, participated in a what turned into a nude photo shoot together, and proceeded to have sex back at Gia’s apartment. When the movie came back to the scene where Angelina Jolie went out into the hallway naked, Cameron said, “Not to sound cliche or whatever, but, I feel like I didn’t fully get the big deal people make about sex until you. I mean, not like I didn’t enjoy it, just, even when I did really enjoy it, it would feel like something was off? Or like, it didn’t matter what I did or how I did it, because it would feel like, something about me was fundamentally off. Or wrong. I think that’s why it took me so long to break up with J0e,” she admitted. “I never felt like there was something wrong about how I was with him.”

“Aw,” Donna said. She took Cameron’s free hand in her own, looked up adoringly at Cameron, and said, “…that’s gay.”

Cameron snorted, and then said, “I asked for that, huh?”

Donna let go of Cameron’s hand so she could put her arm around Cameron’s shoulders. “Seriously though. I think we have skewed ideas about sex. Unrealistic expectations about how easy or how naturally it will come to us. We think we’re gonna have the best and wildest sex of our lives in our 20s, but it doesn’t work like that? Figuring out what you really like, and what you need to feel fully comfortable, and then finding partners who you’re really compatible with, that takes time, a lot of time, and a lot of effort, too! Every woman I’ve ever talked to about it was well into her 30s when she figured it out.”

“So it’s not just me, then?” Cameron said.

“No, it is definitely not just you,” Donna said.

Quietly, Cameron said, “Do you ever kind of feel like sex is maybe just, like, a little overrated? I really, really like you and all, but….”

Kissing the top of Cameron’s head, Donna said, “Not lately, no! But I know what you’re saying. It’s great but it’s also not worth the indignities a lot of us tolerate for it. People act like it’s a necessity, and it’s not! It’s a luxury! That some people aren’t even that into! And there’s nothing weird about that!”

“It’s a little strange to hear you say that after a year of sleeping with you and seeing first-hand just how much of a freak you are, but I appreciate it nonetheless,” Cameron said. 

“Oh, honey,” Donna arched an eyebrow. “We’re just getting started.” Cameron looked over at her and laughed nervously, and then Donna said, “There’s always gonna be more to us than that, though. Because we started out as more than that, and I’m happy about that. I’m glad that we were partners before we became, you know. Partners.”

Sighing contentedly, Cameron said, “So am I, Boss.”

[cheydoesfandom]

So basically canon season 2, moved up a few years to culminate in the stonewall riots, rather than jfk's assassination.

Maybe exclude all that dad bs bc it's awful and messes up the future.

The concept started with "hey, Klaus was already in 68/69" so he lands back in Vietnam with time to save Dave.

I'll put the rest under the cut bc it's kinda long/rambley/stream of consciousness, written at like 1 am, and definitely incomplete. I have only watched the show once and not touched the comics, but there's also some fandom influence bc I've been reading fics (specifically Klaus, Ben, and 5 centric mostly).

Or not, bc idk how to do a read more on mobile, oops.

Anyway.

This would be near the end, maybe a week at most, and Klaus either convinces him to desert or somehow keeps him alive until their next leave and THEN desert, or until their tour is up,, which was my first instinct, but I may be allowing fanfic to cloud Dave's depiction as refusing to desert, i need to double check that, or end up getting wounded but not dead and an honorable discharge.

He has a suitcase and COULD go to 2019, back at the middle of season 1. He DOESN'T  because a) ben is here this time, and he might not come with the case and b) five will find them eventually and then they can ALL use the case and c) I want Allison and Vanya to have their SOs.

At this point, I started mapping out how the others settled in New York in the late 60s (exact years tbd based on the gaps in season 2 canon), so...

Luther landed in the middle of the queerest block in Manhattan 1st, and was swept up and accepted as their own before he even knew he was. They call him a bear, and say it's desirable, and he's ready to hear them out. He goes to clubs, does party drugs bc fuck everything, he's pissed and exhausted and maybe kinda queer, but he never used a needle or smoked anything but weed, he'd watched what it did to Klaus. The first time someone danced up against him, so slender and small in comparison, Luther felt good, it felt RIGHT, to put his arms around him and dance a little closer and no, actually, this doesn't work. He wouldn't do drugs again, and I just can't imagine him not cishet, but I guess maybe, if he had a lot of time to reflect and figure out who he is without Reginald looming, which I suppose he would have if he was the first to return, so never mind green light, Luther is a bear and he likes twinks. Or, really, just about anybody he can envelope in his arms and hold close and safe and protect them. (Not 100% sold on this, open to suggestions)

Allison and Diego are in the middle here. Idk exactly, I need to check the dates. Also no idea what Diego is up to without the president to save. I kinda wanted to give him a queer awakening, but like, Luther said gimme soooo…… I kinda had the thought of Diego as a drag queen, but I'm not sure. And idk if Allison is bi or what. I kinda want trans!Allison, but mtf, so she'd already come out and transitioned, but I also feel that Reginald wouldn't allow this, not from any of the trans* kids. Not bc he's just a queerphobe, but because it's "a waste of time and resources". Maybe Allison was the only one to convince him that she would be more effective if she had these changes made. Yes. Yes, okay.

Allison is trans and black in the late 1960s, but it's new York, so there's a scene, and she's thriving, and meets the man of her dreams. They get involved in the local politics and the gay rights movements. Allison needs to not accidentally be given credit that belongs to Marsha and the other leaders of the community.

But that still leaves Diego, and I just don't know what to do with him. What would Lila be doing? I haven't even thought about the commision/handler, but that would be mostly the same. Idk Diego's motive yeeeeet. (With nothing to "stop", he probably just goes vigilante again? Ends up inthe neighborhood, sees a drag show? Idk, idk what Diego's up to, alright?)

Klaus probably shows up right before Vanya, a few weeks maybe, in Vietnam. He gets Dave back to the states somehow, explaining what's going on anxiously in a hotel room.  Ben was there with him, and they couldn't use the briefcase bc he might not come along. Dave accepts it fairly well and they maybe decide to see his folks before leaving town. Klaus had asked, "wanna go make history?" and, at Dave's nod, declared they were heading for Manhattan. They drove cross-country, enjoying the open road, and rolled into the city a week before the riots.

Vanya was next, with amnesia. Sissy and her husband are each other's beard, and brought her home to recover, she introduces her to the club life. He gets upset that she's brought the chance of suspicion by fucking in their house, by talking about leaving him. How would that make him look? At best like a pathetic loser who can't please his wife, and at worst like the fucking fag that he was!

Five would still arrive last, seeing the aftermath of whatever goes wrong, but idk what it is yet, then jumps back like a week or whatever.

This is about all I have. Like I said, this is a concept that isn't fully fleshed out, and needs some serious research if it were to be done properly, and I do not have the time/energy for that, honestly.

But in the end, they stop the apocalypse, go back to 2019, and get to just live their lives and heal and all that good stuff they need so bad.

And that's all I've got. Please leave a reply or drop an ask if you have thoughts or questions that might drive it somewhere!

[theprodigypenguin]

hi I made a list of question yay~ but it had 18 numbers in it,,, so I think I'm going to send them in parts with the most important ones (turns out it's 11). starting with: 8, 20, 28 and 30.

Lol thank you (and thanks for warning me about my asks being turned off oof).

8. How did you get involved in your latest fandom?

My latest fandom is of course this one, but I don’t think I’d consider myself categorizing myself as being part of the TCC fandom as a standalone because there’s aspects of every segment in the Wizarding saga (Fantastic Beasts, Mauraders, Original Series, and now TCC and next gen) that I like.

That wasn’t the question, Amelia, you punk ass bitch.

OKAY so I got involved in the Wizarding fandom almost a year ago back in November (I remember it was right after Thanksgiving) when I decided to stop by my local bookstore (which my dumbass CONSTANTLY forgets is just a block away from me) and buy the entire seven book box set of the original series, the Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them textbook (the big red one), and the Cursed Child screenplay. It was the first time I’d read the play, because when it first came out I was pretty impressionable so I believed what everyone said about it being trash. Long story short I read it in an hour, it wasn’t trash, and I decided to restart my Tumblr account to start hyper-obsessing over Scorbus and the next gen babes.

I’d read the original series YEARS ago, so long ago I forgot almost everything about what I read (which is hilarious in some sense but also super cool cuz when I reread the books it was like reading them for the first time again which was kind of a beautiful experience). I’d never been really interested in Harry Potter though (he kinda pissed me off when I first read the books). Though I’d always been obsessed with my Hogwarts house, as most folks are. It was Albus and the Cursed Child that really helped me appreciate the story. Now I’m utterly obsessed and I own way too much Hufflepuff merch oof.

20. Any ships which you surprised yourself by liking?

Lily and Lysander (Lilyander). First of all, it’s a het ship, and those aren’t usually my style because gay ships (W/W and M/M both) just make me feel more. It’s mostly because both Lily Luna and Lysander don’t really have much confirmed in regards to their canon personalities, stories, etc., so I took full creative and artistic liberty and built their relationship from the ground up based on how I perceived them and they just turned out to be so fucking Good™. Probably one of the very few het ships I would sacrifice my soul to. Of course if you ship either of them with someone else, be my guest, but Lilyander is the only ship for me in regards to those two next gen babes. One of these days I really wanna write another fic for them cuz Creation Out of Nothing was honestly so fun to write, and I think it’s a good idea to explore more genres and expand my comfort zone, even if it means writing het ships XD I really like writing from Lysander’s POV too because my take on him being an absolute disaster Ravenclaw is so good.

28. If someone were to draw a piece of fanart for your story, which story would it be and what would the picture be of?

I didn’t even have to think hard for this, it would be the kissing scene on the bridge at the end of Damages because writing that scene gave me some Emotions™.

30. What inspires you to write?

Spite. Not even kidding. Spite fuels a lot of my writing. Probably because I’m a Taurus, yeet. 

BUT also music, reading other people’s writing, movies, friends and ESPECIALLY my readers who seem legitimately interested in seeing more from me. That especially touches me so much, you have no idea, because a lot of the time I look at my writing and just:

Then I remember there are people who exist who took precious time out of their life to read the trash I wrote and that is? Literally so motivating? Like you could have done literally anything, there are BILLIONS of actual books and other fanfic, BETTER fanfic that what I put out, yet ya’ll decided to read my work? Bless you.

BUT it’s mostly spite.

SEND ME FANDOM QUESTIONS!

[belovedplank]

SMALLVILLE - CLEX PLOTBUNNIES

* Clark has to teach Lex to Barn/Line Dance!

* Something stupid happens/is said which ends up with Clark and/or Lex being proclaimed 'whipped'. Could either be established relationship, or the catalyst to them taking their friendship to the next level.

* AU – VirginLex! (Well, GayVirgin) What if Clark had done the gay thing (Smallville's token gay guy) but Lex hadn't?

* What if some meteor-related thing infected the water and made all the residents of Smallville blurt out their innermost feelings/thoughts/desires?

* Lex finds a notebook of Clark's, with variations of his name scrawled all over it. Gets on the clue bus.

*Clark writes a novel. Lex presents his own TV show and interviews Clark.

* Small PWP Lex has to explain to Clark the meaning of the phrase 'phallic symbol'

* Lex teaches Clark to Fence

*Bond over the piano - Clark finds out that Lex plays (after Lana and that witch thing), and thus reveals a secret (not even Chloe, Pete and lana know) - Clark plays too! His parents had used the piano to teach him to come to terms with his strength

*Swing dancing - I don't know beyond that, but I'd LOVE to read a CLex fic that involved swing dancing - one teaching the other, or maybe ER and they decide to go to a couples class?

* AU. Make Lex a few years younger. Maybe 17 (season 1) What if Lex had been sent to Smallville to go to Smallville High after being expelled from all the good schools in Metropolis? Clark and Lex. In school. Together.

* Lex moves back to Metropolis (Clark's Senior Year?) They drift. Lex writes a bestseller. Technically fictional, but Clark reads it and gets on the clue bus Vice versa would work to. They drift after Clark leaves 4 college, within a yr of graduating, his first novel comes out – about his friendship with lex.

* Lex is asked to promote a designer - being seen out in his/her clothes, and/or in a fashion show they are having with celeb models -takes Clark with him when he goes to check out the clothes - gets Clark to try somethin on Designer sees the two of them in his creations - sheer perfection Was thinking tuxes/suits? Contrasting colours maybe?

*I've read fics before that say that Clark is invulnerable to the effects of alcohol (or that it takes ALOT to get him drunk) However, what if Clark was uber susceptible? What if he decided that the first time he was going to drink, would be with Lex? And as a result, he revealed things he would otherwise have kept to himself.

* Clark in MU. Lex in Metropolis (technically to accommodate for LexCorp and LuthorCorp - really for Clark) Still 'just friends' However, Lex has been abroad for a few months. Clark goes to pick him up at the airport with an enthusiastic hug (Envisage pick up and spin). However, a photojournalist captures the moment, and the next day it's all over the front page 'Luthor JNR and Boy Toy' (or words to that effect) What to do? Eventual Clexy happy ending

* Maybe I watch too much 'Friends', but I basically want to see a Clex version of Ross and Rachel. Lex is getting married (again) - possibly to Helen but could be a future fic with Lex on his 5th wife or something. Clark is best man. Vows are spoken. Lex says 'Clark' instead of Helen (or whoever)! Clexy happy ending!!

*Was watching QAF2 (British Version). You know that scene were Stuart asks Vince to dance? I wanna see a Clex version! I’m kinda envisaging, possibly, a futurefic. They’re still friends (although few people in Metropolis know), Clark is a reporter; Lex is still working at LuthorCorp and building up LexCorp. I’m envisaging Lex, he’s been smoozing round the room, but now he’s sitting, all alone. Clark’s heart goes out to him. A Song comes on – think of something Clexesque. Clark can’t take it anymore, and walks across the room, and, regardless of the people, the stares, holds out his hand to Lex. They dance. Alternatively, it’s Lana’s Wedding Reception. Lex & Martha are out on the terrace talking about Clark’s feelings for Lex (a la Stuart & Vince’s Mum). Lex kisses Martha (to make a point!) Walks back to find Clark sitting alone. Holds out his hand. (Song – Crazy by Patsy Cline)

*Also, the QAF US dance – you know, at Justin’s prom? Well, CLex ER, but secret – either no one knows, just the Kents, or possibly Chloe to. Clark asks Lex to prom – he says no, but turns up and the do the Brian/Justin ‘Save the Last Dance for Me’ thing.

*I watched 13 going on 30, and thought - how cool would this be in clex? ok, not the 13 part, but what if, after some potentially life-altering clexy moment in canon - which goes unfulfilled in clexyness, clark is zipped into his 30's and comes to the realisation that him and lex are no longer friends, and that he could fix it by kissing him at that moment of clex potential! ok, this mightn't make sense 2 any1 who hasn't seen the movie, but its still something I wanna see!!!!

* Based on the Will Smith Movie ‘Hitch’ Basically, I totally ended up imagining - what if this was CLex? Either with Lex as Hitch and Clark as the reporter gal Or Clark as Albert Brennerman and Lex as the celeb he falls for.

* Inspired by Roxy’s Boys of Summer it kinda made me think Its a what if AU - what if Lex had gone to school with all the others in Smallville, and they'd become friends? (assumption that they're all the same age - in classes together) So, I was thinking...what if, instead of Lex moving to SV and going to school there, what if Clark had gone to school with Lex? The basics of the plotbunny is that, Jon has passed away, so Martha sells the Farm and moves back to Metropolis with Clark - becomes a PA at her father's firm. So, either she could send Clark away to Excelsior Prep, or he could be placed in the local school. Depends when you decide to set it - if its before Lex's mother's death, the local school would make sense - it wasn't until after she passed that Lionel started to send him away (was it?). Also, at the local school could be Chloe! Whereas Excelsior would have the broody Bruce Wayne. Either way, Clark and Lex meet, and theres an instant connection. I dunno if Lex could be assigned to show Clark around, or if he meets Clark as a consequence of Chloe/Bruce showing him round, but they become fast friends. Another vague thought is Clark possibly saving Lex from a bully (reminiscent of the bully he saved Pete from in elementary school). Vague thought again - what if Martha is not so strict when it comes to power use? She encourages him to shine at school - not to hide his intelligence as he does his other abilities! Also, although she agrees with the no contact sports rule stipulated by her late husband, she sees no problem in participating in a different type of sport: tennis, badminton, squash - fencing. Maybe he could meet and bond with Lex over sports?

*A concept I got after re-reading serafina's Lex Luthor, Ace Reporter and ODing on Lois and Clark Have Lex and Lois swap places, as in serafina's fic - ie Lex is the tenacious, awardwinning reporter, and Lois is the rich, ruthless businessperson. Then, take an episode of Lois and Clark and write it from a CLex pov Either pre-slash, or take the plotline of that episode to create CLexiness. It could be a Clark & Lex who are still best friends from Smallville, or estranged friends, or AU and never met!

*Just read ‘Angel’ By WD Hawthorne on SSA. Gave me an idea. ER Clex, but it’s a total secret. Clark and Lex have a gesture/phrase to say ‘love you’ in front of people. Alternatively, they both know how the other feels, but have decided to wait until Clark has finished high school, but still have the gesture as a form of reassurance.

* What if some meteor-related thing infected the water and made all the residents of Smallville blurt out their innermost feelings/thoughts/desires? Does this include Clark? -this is based off the Lois and Clark ep 'Pheromone My Lovely'

Clark as a Doctor - I could see him as a Paediatrician. Doctor, led me to Hospital, which led me to House MD. So I House/Wilson the CLex: Lex - brilliant grumpy diagnostician (chloe, pete and Lois could be the ducklings) Clark - Head of paediatrics - sends all the otherwise unsolveable kids to Lex. Admires his brilliance - sees thru his grumpy facade to the brilliant intelligent (secretly nice - he creeps into the kids ward and reads them Warrior Angel) man beneath

[doedipus]

I finally finished moyashimon

it’s honestly one of my favorite anime/manga that I’ve read in a long, long time. there are definitely some aspects of the work that frustrate me, but it’s not quite enough to sour the work as a whole in my eyes. if you’re in the mood for a really chill slice of life series with a lot of well-developed and respectfully portrayed female and queer characters, definitely give it a shot.

first of all, to anyone who’s only seen the anime adaptation, definitely, definitely, definitely look into the manga. some of the best parts in the series happen after the anime ends, esp. the craft beer adventure in volume 8 and american road trip in volume 10. plus, if you’re like me and are mostly drawn to the work because of kei, her involvement in the story only starts ramping up immediately after the anime ends, and she’s essentially the main character of the last 3 volumes. Plus, ishikawa and his team have a lot of fun with the medium that doesn’t always translate into animation.

All in all, picking up the manga is 100% worth your time if you’re even vaguely intrigued by the premise

more detailed thoughts and a handful of good reaction images under the break

I think overall the beer, france, and america arcs are the high points of the series.

The beer arc sticks out to me mostly because of stuff happening in real life during the time I was reading it. Basically, some of my friends talked me into taking a beer tasting class at uni with them. I’d never really liked beer very much beforehand, but it turns out I was just drinking the wrong kinds of beer. I’ll put my life on the line for a good IPA now that I know what that even is.

The beer section of moyashimon has mutou go through a similar process- she starts out by going on a huge tirade about how craft beer sucks and it’s only appealing to pretentious weirdos, and then over the course of the volume, they go over what different kinds of beer are like, how they’re made, etc. It ended up giving me a good idea of what to look out for in the beer class, and it was fun being able to compare what I was sampling to what the fermentation lab crew talked about.

There’s also a pretty cute gender-affirming moment for kei in there, where the gang gives her a women’s costume for the faux oktoberfest celebration the book culminates in. it’s a small plot point, but I liked it a lot.

The france and america arcs are pretty similar and I like them for basically the same reasons. Essentially it boils down to them tying really dynamic plotlines in with the usual culinary intrigue. There’s a real sense of tension to what’s happening in the story, and the food stuff is more directly related to what’s happening in the story than it usually is. In a lot of the other plotlines, the writers have a tendency to frontload all the technical stuff into one or two extended dialogue scenes, which can be kind of hard to get through in comparison

I also found ishikawa’s assessment of american food pretty fun to read through, and a lot of his comments make me want to try out some western restaurants in japan if I ever end up going there. For instance, he has the characters talk a lot about how burgers and stuff are much sweeter than they’re used to them being in japan, and it’d be neat to have a point of comparison for that.

Also the america arc is where kei and marie probably do gay things, which I am very down for

ultimately, I think upwards of 90% of people who stumble upon this series now, 5 years after the last chapter and last episode were released, are here specifically for kei. she’s the strong bad to sawaki’s homestar: you might not know it yet, but she’s the reason you’re here. if you’re impatient and wanna speedrun straight to the part where she transitions/goes full time/whatever, it’s halfway through volume 4 of the manga and episode 10 of the first season of anime. there’s a lot of fun plotlines that happen before that point that really deserve attention on their own merit, though.

I’m a big fan of kei’s characterization. she’s possibly my favorite trans (or trans-adjacent josou danshi, post-colonialism ho!) character I can think of, and certainly the best I’ve seen written by a cis author. being manga, there’s some dumb missteps that happen, but they seem to be mostly a result of the creators not knowing better rather than them just putting her in to gawk at like a lot of other creative teams tend to do. plus, I think a lot of it boils down to localization error. for instance, the scanslation I read consistently has characters and margin notes refer to her as “he,” but like, japanese doesn’t really use gendered language the way english does, so it’s more representative of the scan team’s biases than the writers’.

One of the things I really like about Kei’s depiction is that the author doesn’t try to make excuses for her behavior. There’s no throwaway line in her backstory about how her parents saw three crows and a capybara on the way home from the hospital and decided to raise her as a girl. She’s clearly attracted to Sawaki, but that’s never framed as her primary motive for transition. She just flatly explains that she thought about it real hard and decided that this was best for her. To me, that’s a much more compelling narrative than one where it’s something either foisted upon the character or something they just sort of haphazardly stumble into.

Another thing that sticks out to me about Kei is that she exists in a series that doesn’t construct its cast as a harem around a singular main character or the reader, which gives her much more room for personal motivations and interests. Like, even though I love Luka from steins;gate to pieces, she and the rest of the female cast in that series really only exist in order to be Okabe’s, and by extension, the viewers’ romantic interests. This ends up sort of limiting their ability for character growth because at the end of the day, they all have to remain available and receptive to Okabe’s advances. As a result, Luka can never really call Okabe out for mistreating her because the writers won’t risk making her route or subplot unappealing. The same goes for plenty of other series trans characters find themselves in, and it shows. So many of them are either smug tricksters there to tease viewers or utterly submissive waifs, and often lack development beyond what’s necessary to get otaku motors running.

Since Moyashimon doesn’t use that kind of restrictive casting structure, the author is able to untie Kei’s sense of self-worth from how Sawaki feels about her and allow the romance subplot to take a back seat while the cast works on their various projects. As a result, she ends up being more independent than most other trans characters and her self-confidence is more genuine. She’s designed from the ground up to be a more complete character, and it makes her inclusion in the main story as well as her subplot with Sawaki feel organic.

on the other hand, as punlich​ pointed out in their post, the series does take a couple passes at introducing characters that seem to be designed with the intent of giving the reader an outlet to vent their sexual frustration around kei, particularly marie and madoka. the former is frequently referenced within the work as being a cis palette swap of kei, and madoka is another of itsuki’s proteges who begins insisting that she’s going to marry sawaki shortly after she’s introduced and receives little characterization beyond that. Marie ends up being a strong character in her own right, but the work probably would’ve been better off if they’d given her basically any other design.

at least in my reading of the work, neither is really taken seriously as a preferable alternative pairing to kei/sawaki, since marie ends up being more into kei than sawaki in the end, and madoka just makes sawaki uncomfortable more often than not. it’s a clear step up from works like steins;gate, re:zero, blend-s, or oregairu, where the trans or GNC character is the one who’s never taken seriously to the point of being a joke inclusion more than anything. still, it’s irritating that the creators would feel the need to include that sort of character, given how they’re usually pretty good about not harem-izing their cast.

uh, and speaking of that, fuck most of volume 11. the central plotline for that section is that the school holds a beauty pageant for the cast, which is, uh, wildly out of character for the series to say the least. it’s to the point where I’m inclined to suspect some form of executive meddling. like maybe they were gonna get dropped due to lack of readership and the brass told the creative team to do a dumb fanservice arc or something. they talk in a sidebar about how they changed editors around the start of this arc, so I have a hunch that has something to do with it?  I guess only they would know, though. it’s not like I can read any interviews or anything lol.

there’s still good content in there, and like I mentioned earlier, it’s when kei starts to really dominate a lot of the screen time, which is a big plus. it’s just dumb and out of place.

I also kind of found the conclusion to kei and sawaki’s “will they, won’t they” subplot really unfulfilling. namely, there really isn’t a conclusion to it at all. at the end, it’s clear that kei’s finally become comfortable with her attraction to sawaki, but sawaki is still kinda hesitant about going anywhere serious with someone he’s been friends with since forever. and like, I can get that, it’s sort of a natural aspect of where that arc would have to go, it’s just a frustrating note to end on. it seems likely that they would get together in the future, at least. (and that’s why you should read my fanfics!)

One thing I really liked about the ending section is sawaki comes up with some proactive uses for his superpower. for most of the series, it’s just a vehicle for ishikawa to exposit about his fascination with microbiology and fermented cuisine, which works great with the lower-key tone the series went for. still, the ways he uses it at the end are pretty clever, and it would’ve been neat to see him go on to use it in other ways. It’s frustrating that one of the uses he comes up with involves doing mouth-to-mouth with madoka, however.

I kind of get the feeling that the series got cut short because a lot of plot threads get addressed and tied up really quickly and sloppily in the last four or five chapters, while a ton of others just sit there. idk if it was a popularity thing, or if ishikawa decided to go all-in on maria the virgin witch, or some other factor, but I guess that’s kind of the nature of serial fiction. it just goes on as long as the creators and publishers are engaged with it, and then it’s over and they all move onto something else.

I’m being pretty hard on the ending portions of the series, but honestly pretty much everything not directly related to the beauty pageant or madoka is really solid. I’m just laying it all out there so nobody gets caught off-guard by the jankiness more than anything.

For one reason or another, moyashimon really struck a chord with me, and it’s kind of hard to put into words why. A big part of it is that kei is a character that I feel a sort of kinship with, which is a rare occurrence as a trans person. She feels like a real person that I’d meet through a message board or discord lobby. The rest of the cast has shades of that as well- the students feel like people I could have met in school, and itsuki harkens back to aspects of professors I’ve had, from his weird sense of humor to his rather alarming past working for the military. It’s easy for me to subconsciously insert myself into their fictional friend group. I guess it’s kind of like how people tend to engage with redlettermedia or ensemble let’s play channels like game grumps or super best friends play. Reading about the gang’s antics confers a sense of belonging that I’m perpetually starving for.

Another aspect of it is that it’s just fun to indulge in someone else’s hyperfixations for a while. It’s why sci-fi authors like heinlein and crichton are so influential, and why internet personalities like cgp grey or jon bois are so engaging: they’re really adept at articulating how utterly captivating some concept or ideology is to them at the moment. Somewhere between most and all of what ishikawa has to say about food and microbiology goes directly over my head, but the passion he has for those topics is readily apparent in every jargon-infested, chart-saturated debate he has his characters get into, and I love it. In that sidebar he goes on about his relationship to his editors, he mentions that the top boy editor chewed him out a couple times for basically trying to sneak a textbook into the magazine. It ends up being compelling based on passion alone, even if I only really internalized a fifth of what he actually had to say.

Is moyashimon for you? Ultimately I don’t think it’s really for anyone besides ishikawa himself. But if you’re at all like me, chances are you’ll fall in love with this bizarre and charming edutainment series anyway. If any of this sounds even remotely interesting to you, I can’t recommend checking it out highly enough.

[quarterfromcanon]

How Long Do You Plan to Keep Me at the Back of Your Mind?

Heather & Valencia - Femslash February - Day 21 - Basic [2,442 words]

“Hello, ladies, and welcome to the trial run of Hallmark & Hummus.” Rebecca splayed her fingers. She waggled them as if the name were appearing in lights. “On this very special evening, we will be enjoying some unarguably bland dip only made interesting with other foods. Whatever film is selected by our vote will be much the same: devoid of flavor until the added ingredients -- us, in this case, the added ingredients are us -- come along to spice things up.”

Valencia offered a strained but well-intentioned smile. She turned to the right and consulted with Heather. “Translation, please?”

Heather’s beleaguered sigh preceded the reply. “She wants to watch sappy made-for-TV movies and eat tortilla chips while we talk about them.”

“Ohhhhh,” the rest of the group chorused. 

“I wanna take this opportunity to just apologize to everyone,” Heather told them, ignoring Rebecca’s background indignation. “The theme tonight is my fault and I am already so sorry.”

“How’d that happen?” Paula draped her arms over the sides of her chair.

“We were kicking around viewing options for Girls’ Night earlier this week and everything totally snowballed outta control. I was trying to steer her away from them by pointing out that they’re usually a little boring and unoriginal... which, like, ‘a little’ was being generous, honestly... and she just really latched onto the metaphor.” Heather folded her arms and shot Rebecca a ‘Why are you like this?’ look. 

Rebecca tried to mirror the stance but ultimately just stuck out her tongue. “I still think we can make it fun. Plus, your cleverness sparked the creative spin! You should be owning this with pride! You were my muse.”

Heather wrinkled her nose. “I accept full responsibility for the apt comparison but not its application.”

“Compromise met.” Rebecca clapped her hands into a clasp. “Now, before we get into any of that, the first order of business is to greet our special guest. Thank you for joining us tonight, Beth. Welcome.”

Beth was clearly not expecting an individual shout-out like that. Still, she leaned forward to acknowledge them all with a salutatory wave before settling back against the couch. “Thanks for inviting me.”

Heather readjusted on her respective cushion. She pulled one leg up to her chest and locked both arms around the kneecap.

“Okay, so, drinks are in the fridge,” Rebecca continued the hostess explanations. “There’s wine, juice, water, beer, et cetera. I originally floated the idea that we take shots of Hennessy for every glaring instance of sexism to keep going with our letter ‘H,’ but Heather did actually talk me out of that one because we would all die of alcohol poisoning.”

She gathered a tall stack of borrowed cases in her arms, each labeled with a barcode from the local library. “I grabbed all the ones I could find. Their collection was unexpectedly extensive, so let’s see if we can start the process of elimination.”

“Nothing with a cover that looks like pretty white characters are gonna fall in love or die at Christmastime,” Heather declared.

Rebecca pouted and removed six boxes from the tower. “That’s practically their entire yuletide catalog - heh, yule log, that was unintentional - but fair enough. It does whittle the options down by a significant margin.”

“No movies with sequels,” Valencia suggested. “The last thing we need is to get stuck with these people for more than one.”

“And none with punny titles,” Paula added.

“Why not?” Rebecca countered.

“Check how many that eliminates and you’ll see.” Paula assembled a plate while she waited.

“Oh wow, you guys are going after their whole brand,” Rebecca muttered as she continued to weed out entertainment that matched the criteria. “Hallmark came out to have a good time and is honestly feeling so attacked right now.”

“What does that leave?” Beth peered at the titles one by one when they passed through her acquaintance’s hands.

Rebecca held up a single DVD. “Something called The Love Letter.”

“Hang on a sec.” Valencia’s brow furrowed. “Can I see that?”

Rebecca passed her the box. Valencia tapped the name in the bottom corner. “I knew it! That’s Jennifer Jason Leigh.”

Beth chuckled. She rubbed her palm along her girlfriend’s spine. 

Valencia peeked to the left self-consciously. “What?”

“Nothing. I just think it’s cute you followed the career of an actress with a big gay fan following before you even figured things out.” Beth kissed Valencia on the cheek.

Rebecca joined in the affectionate laughter. “Adorably oblivious.”

Heather popped the lid off her beer and drank.

Paula tucked a diced piece of pepper into the side of her mouth and lifted her own bottle. “Let’s get this party started.”

She tapped the alcohol against her friend’s serving. Just for a moment, Heather thought she saw a flicker of sympathy in Paula’s eyes.

They all settled more comfortably while Rebecca turned out a couple of the lights and readied the selection. Rebecca stretched across the chaise lounge. She pointed the remote control toward the censor. “Drum roll... play!”

Within the first sixty seconds, a store owner made a comment about women dragging their boyfriends into the building to look at a white dress in the window. Valencia and Rebecca automatically flipped their middle fingers at the screen. 

“Damn,” Valencia commented just shy of the seven minute mark. “She likes some imaginary pen pal better than the guy who just proposed to her. Are we sure she’s not a closeted lesbian in this, too? Fixating on an unrealistic man-of-her-dreams seems like a handy excuse.”

“You would know,” Paula teased with a smirk. She sipped more of her drink.

Valencia arched an eyebrow but inclined her head. “Touché.”

“Ooo, it’s near Salem!” Rebecca enthused. “Witches?” She waggled her eyebrows.

“Dude, again, late ’90s Hallmark,” Heather reminded her. “They aren’t gonna throw us a lot of surprises. Also, wrong time period.”

“If Hocus Pocus taught us nothing else, it’s that they don’t have to be bound to their own era. Spooky shit happens,” Rebecca reasoned.

Heather shook her head and laughed quietly.

The female lead was finally introduced. Valencia and Beth exchanged knowing glances when her first onscreen act was writing a poem for a flower consistently referred to with “she” and “her” pronouns. ‘Gay,’ they both mouthed.

Half an hour into the run time, Beth whispered, “So, is this basically The Lake House with a more cockblocking year gap?”

“Kinda, yeah,” Heather confirmed. “This one’s just eight years older.” 

“Good to know.” Beth smiled with genuine appreciation for the trivia.

Heather felt a twist of guilt that her first internal response was ‘ugh.’  Then the story randomly included a scene involving kitchen spices and she choked on a scoop of hummus.

“Are you okay?” Valencia murmured.

“Yeah, just went down the wrong way,” Heather managed to reply.

A strange reaction crossed Valencia’s features but she periodically hovered a concerned hand over her friend’s back until ten minutes later.

“It must be true love if you get turned on by air touches, amirite?” Rebecca joked. Heather and Valencia froze before they realized she spoke in reference to the film. They scooted to opposite ends of their couch space.

Beth’s fingers interwove with Valencia’s when the movie’s ill-treated fiancée got to confront her betrothed’s emotional infidelity. Heather’s eyes found the ceiling as she tried not to notice.

The end credits rolled. Rebecca wiped away a few tears. She tucked both legs beneath her body as she faced the other women in the room. “So, what did you guys think?”

“I really liked that checkered dress. Oh, and the giant cloak when she left for Gettysburg!” Paula stayed seated but pantomimed donning the aforementioned clothing while sweeping away in a hurry. “I mean, c’mon, can you really call it a dramatic exit without some kind of cape to swish behind you? It’s the only way to go.”

“Right? So pretty. So stylish. And when they got into the rowboat and she read her poetry to him?” Rebecca pouted and held her hands over her heart. “I loved that.”

“He was kind of an asshole, though,” Valencia concluded. “Waffling between them both like they were equally viable options. Pick a path and stick to it. And for the love of God, invest in wax or a razor.”

“That’s a justifiable point,” Rebecca acknowledged. “I’m a big advocate of a person having as much or as little body hair as they see fit so, you know, more power to him. But, practically speaking, that stuff is gonna scratch your tits to hell when you’re pounding it out together. R.I.P. reincarnated lady’s boobs.”

Heather and Paula concurred with empathetic nods.

“I’m not super into the reincarnation angle itself, though,” Heather decided. “They had a few set traits because of the whole same-internal-essence thing, but Caleb and Scotty were still different guys living different lives, y’know?”

“They did each have their own vibe,” Paula concurred. “The two were very similar but not identical. Close, but no cigar.”

“Exactly! And I think they knew people weren’t gonna be as into modern JJL after ninety minutes with Civil War her. That’s why her name went from Elizabeth to Beth so it’s like, ‘Oh, don’t worry. It’s cool for us to just end the movie now because she’s literally the same,’ but she’s not. She wasn’t there for any of it. Beth doesn’t share all the history and she doesn’t know everything that happened before she came into the picture. It’s like, dude, she’s a separate person and eventually you’re gonna have to explain everything. I guess go ahead and get attached to someone who’s superficially a match, but it doesn’t make her your soulmate.”

Heather finished her rant and stared down at the empty bottle in her hands. She could feel Valencia tense beside her but neither risked eye contact. 

Heavy fabric pelted against the top of Heather’s head and fell to the floor. 

“What the...”

She looked up to realize Rebecca had chucked a throw pillow at her. 

“Start believing in romance, you cynic! Stop deflating love bubbles with your logic!” Rebecca reached for another to lob, but Heather held her hands aloft.

“Yeah, there’s an open container of salsa literally two feet away from me, so I’m thinking we should call for an armistice.” Heather forced her expression into a semblance of contrition. “No more mood-killing. But also no more furniture attacks. Deal?”

“I can agree to those terms.” Rebecca let the second pillow fall from her grip.

“Cool. I’m gonna go use the bathroom before we start whatever’s next.” 

Heather departed for that location and locked the door. She splashed water on her face and met her own gaze in the mirror’s reflection. “You are acting like such a jealous douche,” Heather reprimanded herself in a low voice. “That may be the literal brand you represent, but it’s not who you are as a person. Cut the crap.”

She towel-dried her skin and sighed. Somehow, she had to come to terms with the chasm between where she used to think her life would be at this point and where things were actually headed. It wasn’t fair to Valencia to keep letting an undercurrent of bitterness guide the course of their interactions. Then there was Beth, genial and charming, who had done absolutely nothing to earn a cold shoulder. Heather frequently hashed and rehashed it all out in her mind, and she knew Beth had proven herself to be an exemplary first girlfriend. Whether the process of doing so was easy or not, she had to step aside. After all, Valencia wasn’t the only one in a new relationship. Heather had someone, too. Hector... No, she couldn’t tackle her feelings about him right now. The main thing to focus on was turning over a new leaf, and she intended to do so once she rejoined the others.

Heather left the bathroom, pivoted out of habit toward the living room, and almost ran right into Beth. She pulled to an abrupt stop. “Sorry. All yours.”

Beth hooked her thumbs in her belt loops. “Thanks. Hey, I don’t now if it’s a breach of that treaty you and Rebecca have going to tell you this, but you made a pretty solid point earlier.” She cast a covert glance at the rest of the group, playfully following along with the faux tension as well as the subsequent peace. “What makes a person isn’t just what they’re starting with, but how they’re affected by things, and what they do in response to that. Like you said, it’s from their ’90s collection, and I don’t know if they were really encouraging us to look that deep, but still.” She shrugged. “V told me you’re good at reading people, and she was right.”

“Glad we’re on the same page.” Heather nearly crossed her arms, but instead she slipped her palms into the pockets of her vest. “I may need to call on you for backup in the event of another pro-tearjerker uprising, so, be ready with a strong argument. Rebecca loves a debate.”

Beth laughed. “You got it.”

They parted ways and Heather turned around again. Valencia was watching. She twitched her lips upward timidly. Heather flushed with remorse that things had become so difficult between them. She returned the greeting with a sincere smile. Valencia beamed and approached to talk. 

“How’s movie vote number two going?” Heather asked.

Valencia looked back at their companions with loving exasperation. “We’re officially in Eeny Meeny Miny Mo territory, but Rebecca and Paula got into a discussion about whether it should be the full rhyme or just those four words. I feel like I don’t need to tell you which friend was in favor of which option.”  

“It’ll be all right. Paula will wrap things up one way or another,” Heather said confidently. “My money’s on her grabbing something out of the pile and shouting ‘This is it!’ just to cut the rounds short.”

Paula’s voice suddenly projected over Rebecca’s. “Oh, look! It’s the brunette from Down with Love. A Christmas Wedding -- we have a winner!” She held the box aloft and then carried the disc to the player. 

Rebecca was miffed by the interruption for only a few seconds before her shoulders rose and fell. “Works for me.”

“You called it.” Valencia nudged Heather. “You know us all too well.”

“I feel like you could probably make an educated guess what I’m thinking sometimes, too.”

“Like right now?”

“Sure, if you want.”

Valencia considered Heather with exaggerated scrutiny. “Switching from beer to wine before we start another cringey movie?”

Heather elbowed her and they both smiled. “Bingo.”

[ramajmedia]

It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia: 10 Of Dennis Reynolds’ Most Inappropriate Pickup Lines

Dennis Reynolds from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia may be the creepiest character on television. Though he started out as a shallow yet somewhat normal ladies' man, Dennis has gotten more out of control as the series went on, revealing himself to be a complete psychopath.

RELATED: It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia: The Best Episode In Every Season, Ranked

Though he sometimes has luck with the ladies, Dennis often thinks he is more desirable than he actually is. His short temper and manipulative techniques mean that any woman he does manage to seduce will quickly discover what a monster he is. Here are Dennis Reynolds' most inappropriate pickup lines from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

10 "How's about you and I go into the back room and I 'change your mind.'"

When their various schemes keep failing, the gang decides to start playing to their own individual strengths. For Dennis, he is dubbed "the looks" of the team, a role which he accepts proudly. However, he quickly discovers those looks have limitations.

When Dennis, Mac, and Charlie go to the bank to get a loan for their gasoline scheme, they are unsurprisingly denied. Dennis decides to change the bank worker's mind by unbuttoning his shirt and offering to "change her mind."

9 "Charlie has cancer."

Anyone who has watched even a single episode of It's Always Sunny will know that the Paddy's Pub gang are pretty terrible people. Even as friends, they are completely willing to use each other's misfortunes to their own gains.

RELATED: It's Always Sunny: 10 Episodes That Hit Too Close To Home

After Charlie tells his friends that he has cancer, they try to cheer him up by getting him a date with the waitress he has a crush on. However, the waitress takes pity on Dennis instead and he decides to sleep with her. To be fair, this wasn't his original plan but it's still a pretty gross that he went through with it.

8 "We got pretty close near the end there."

Like the other characters on the show, Dennis has only gotten worse over time. He was relatively tame in Season 1 compared to how he is in later seasons. Yet he still proved that there is pretty much no line he won't cross in order to seduce a woman.

When the gang finds a dead man in their bar, the man's granddaughter comes to see the place he died. Instead of feeling sympathy, Dennis only sees an opportunity for sex. He proceeds to lie to the girl and tell her that he was very close to her grandfather, despite never meeting him before.

7 "I like your look."

Telling a woman "I like your look" is sort of cheesy but it's not an inappropriate pickup line on its own. However, given where Dennis used the line, it becomes very inappropriate.

Mac and Dennis become involved in the abortion debate and whether pro-life or pro-choice is the right side to fight for. However, they quickly use the situation as a means to meet women. Dennis chooses the pro-choice side as it has more women, but when he is called out for being a creep, he decides it's time to fight for the other side.

6 "While I don't particularly find you conventionally attractive, I do find you oddly sexy."

When the gang gets involved in the group dating scene, you just know it's going to be a disaster. None of the members of the Paddy's Pub gang are skilled in these situations, but Dennis is confident he will excel.

RELATED: It's Always Sunny: 10 Funniest Schemes The Gang Took Too Far, Ranked

Though he has a thought-out plan for seduction, Dennis is unable to hide his creepiness for more than a few minutes. After putting on the charm, he gives what he thinks is a compliment to one girl without realizing it is incredibly insulting and degrading. Things quickly unravel from there.

5 "I wanna do s*** to you that will make you realize what a worthless, boring piece of s*** your husband really is."

Alhough we are told that Dennis was popular and well-liked in high school, as the series goes on, we get a sense that some of that reputation might have been in Dennis' head. At the gang's high school reunion, Dennis is disliked by many people and seeks revenge on those he thinks wronged him.

In order to get back at his old nemesis, Dennis tries to seduce the man's wife. She is initially charmed by him, mostly because she thinks Dennis is gay. However, he finally loses patience and reveals his entire disgusting plan which, of course, doesn't work.

4 "We don't want just the two of you, ya gotta bring your girlfriends, that's a requirement."

No matter what situation the gang finds themselves in, Dennis always sees it as an opportunity to score with the ladies. And it seems like the more inappropriate the situation, the more excited he is about it.

When the so-called "storm of the century" is heading to Philadelphia, the gang decides to stock up their bunker in preparation. Dennis, of course, tries to bring some girls back as well. Though they don't seem too creeped out by the idea, Dennis also can't help but insist they also bring more girls as they are just not enough.

3 "For the good of the race."

Despite being incredibly creepy, Dennis is usually a pretty confident guy when talking to the ladies. His bad temper is often what screws things up but in one instance, his nerves did actually get the best of him.

RELATED: It's Always Sunny: The 5 Most Memorable Guest Stars (& 5 We Forgot About)

With that storm raging, Dennis confronts the local newswoman he has grown infatuated with. Though he feels as though he has come up with a very reasonable argument, his nervousness makes his ramblings sound even creepier than they actually are.

2 "I call it the D.E.N.N.I.S. system."

The fact that Dennis has an intricate and complex system for seducing women should provide enough proof that this guy is seriously messed up. But once he proudly explains the system in detail to the gang, he becomes even more disturbing.

Though Dennis sees this as a sophisticated technique, it's little more than psychological manipulation and emotional abuse. Seeing Dennis attempt to use the situation various times shows how horrible he would have to think up something like this.

1 "I would like to come in your room. And I suspect that you might say 'no,' and yet I also feel like maybe you wouldn't dare."

Probably the most disturbing moment in Dennis' long career of being creepy is his theory about "the implication." In Dennis' warped mind, a boat is the perfect place to seduce a woman because she won't refuse due to the implication that something might go wrong.

We see him attempting to put this theory to the test with a young woman. Though he imagines he's being charming, he is, of course, coming off like a terrifying predator.

NEXT: It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia: The 10 Worst Episodes Ever, According To IMDb

source https://screenrant.com/always-sunny-philadelphia-dennis-reynolds-inappropriate-pickup-lines-tv-show/

[romaniassexdungeon]

LeoJidemic- gay and terror

Day two- social media

Pairing: LeoJi

Second fill for @rarepairsonice

I’m gonna be honest- most of these are LeoJi. This was the one that first gave me the idea to fill these prompts out as fics and not art, when I kept thinking of what Leo and Guang Hong would say watching a certain bad film together, and how they would probably make a habit out of watching awful films and laughing about it, so at least something good came out of me watching Birdemic. Not a lot, but something.

Unfortunately, it meant I had to watch the film again to write this and now I wanna die. You might want to have the film open in another tab to understand what’s going on.

Warnings: alcohol and some sexual humour

...

There were moments in Guang Hong’s life when he knew the best course of action would be to say a firm ‘no, that sounds like a terrible idea and something I’ll regret’ but deep in his heart, he knew the only thing he’d be saying was ‘let’s do this Leo. That’s a great idea, Leo’. ...I’m in love with you, Leo and would do anything for you down to watching the worst films in existence.

At this point, Leo didn’t even need ‘Viktor Nikiforov will be there’ to convince Guang Hong to do the reckless and ridiculous. He could do it with his own charm. Nothing Leo suggested they did was something Guang Hong would be genuinely uncomfortable with, or either illegal or immoral, just things that made him question what exactly his heart was doing here. It was now thanks to Leo that he’d taken Viktor Nikiforov’s actual real life boxers to the face; had stayed up til four in the morning swapping local memes when he had an exam the next day, purely because it was fun; prank-called half their friends; both dressed up as playboy bunnies last halloween to go trick-or-treating, which ended up in them receiving more money than candy; and end up buying a whole horde of stuffed animals every time they met up without fail.

Still, this would be a laugh. Sure, he’d hate himself, his life and worry for the future of cinema, but there would be a few laughs along the way, right?

Right?

Movie ‘dates’ between them were commonplace now, squeezed into whatever time they both had together that wasn’t interrupted by school, college, practice or much-needed sleep. First thing on the agenda was both their top favourites, get that squared out of the way, then films that had been banned or censored in each other’s countries and new releases neither had seen yet. When the pool of possible films to watch started becoming a little underwhelming, Leo suggested they go all out with finding films so bad they were an adventure. As something of a film snob, Guang Hong wasn’t sure he could see where the humour was there. Even when Leo put on ‘the Room’, Guang Hong had mostly been terrified. For humanity and every film industry in the world. It was agony. Torture. Only the start of a string of terrible ideas.

Over time, Guang Hong did find these late nights all the more enjoyable, no school or practice the next day, curled under his bedsheets in his and Leo’s own little world. Well, maybe Leo couldn’t be there in person, but Guang Hong could cuddle up to his tablet. Between Leo’s jokes and some genuinely unbelievable moments, Guang Hong found himself having to stifle laughter more often. He still felt bad for the world though.

There was no way one could not laugh in mild terror at the poorly animated Titanic musical with the rapping dog, though Leo’s laughter seemed to turn to sobbing at the singing mice. The other Titanic musical, the one where no one ended up dying, created more confusion than humour though, but even they had to laugh at the ridiculous plot. Foodfight was just straight up disgusting though, same with the bee-human relationship in Bee Movie.

And now, all Guang Hong had to do was read the title of the youtube video on their shared screen to know he was in for a long night.

Birdemic.

Birdemic…

Bird… demic...

BIRD-FUCKING-DEMIC?

Or to give it it’s proper title: Birdemic: shock and terror.

Shock and terror seemed to be pretty apt words here.

“Where do you find these?” he groaned.

On a webcam in the corner, Leo just shrugged. “Internet.”

“Why can’t you watch hentai like a normal person?”

“We can watch some of that together if it floats your boat, babe,” Leo told him slyly.

“Nah, my parents might walk in. Not that I’d want them to walk in and see me watching this either.”

“Shall we start then? I’m in the mood for some self-loathing.”

Guang Hong chuckled. “I’m not but play away.”

“Let’s do this.” Leo hit the play button, and after some poorly animated company logos, Guang Hong was greeted with a car scene. Not a car chase, but a guy driving his car along a country lane. For the first four minutes of the film. That was it. There were credits, of course, and some calming music; an overture? Really? Didn’t that go out of style in the sixties or something? Okay, not a terrible start, but it was a little dull.

“My favourite bit so far is the Portuguese subtitles,” Leo commented. “I think whoever wrote them’s brain broke from this.”

“I don’t speak Portuguese,” replied Guang Hong sadly.

“Neither can I, technically, but you don’t really have to to understand a sarcastic ‘Ator 10/10’,” he gave a slightly worried smile, “I should warn you, I’ve only seen one scene from this beforehand and… we’re in for a treat, let me tell you.”

“Yay,” Guang Hong groaned, “camera’s a bit… lopsided.”

“So’s his parking,” replied Leo once the overture had finally stopped and what was presumably the main character got out of his car.

“He looks lost.”

“And confused.”

When the main character finally entered a cafe, the waitress greeted him… or what Guang Hong thought was meant to be a greeting. It seemed more like a threat. Who edited this? “What the-”

“I’m gonna need to replay that.” Yup, the waitress definitely seemed to shout ‘hi’ at the protagonist. What did he ever do to her? Was it going to cut to a ‘one month earlier’ scene of him leaving a lousy tip?

“Why does the audio keep cutting out?” he asked.

“Because someone apparently got their cinematography degree free in a cereal box.”

“I wish those were really a thing.”

“I wish this wasn’t a thing.”

I wish we were a thing, Guang Hong’s brain slyly told him. He hoped he’d not said that out loud. It was hard to tell this late at night.

“Hot girl alert!” cried Leo, breaking Guang Hong’s heart ever so slightly. “What’s she doing in a movie like this?”

“Probably can’t act.”

“Yeah...”

“Did he just get up without ordering anything to chase after her? Who does that?”

“Yeah, wake up and smell the restraining order already!”

“He’s so creepy,” Guang Hong whined.

“And you were right, she can’t act,” replied Leo, “I mean, he’s still the worst, but-”

“Lee Seung Gil trying to be sexy is less wooden than him,” the boy finished helpfully.

“He’s creeping me out too,” Leo wrinkled his nose.

“I’m a fashion model.” “And a beautiful one too.”

“Ever seen an ugly model?” asked Leo.

“He’s running after her again?”

Leo burst out laughing. “She looks so uncomfortable leave her alone!”

“So are we just watching his day now?” asked Guang Hong after a few minutes, “like, his whole boring day?”

“Seems so.”

“Give this film all the awards. All of them.”

“Oh good, now he’s at work. Fucking riveting.” Leo flopped back in his chair, giving a groan like a dying buffalo.

“At least it’s going well from him.” The protagonist had started cheering, but even that sounded fake and half-assed. “I hope his office is more than fifty feet away from any modelling studios.”

“Speaking of which,” Leo nodded at a shot of said studio, “let’s see how she’s getting on.”

“Are we just watching her have photos taken in different clothes now? Yay.”

“Oooh, she got signed by Victoria’s Secret.”

“That easy, huh?”

“So they’re letting everyone’s dreams come true before they’re killed in the Birdemic? That’s nice of them.”

A few moments later, and Leo burst out laughing. “She has a flip phone? What the hell? Even my grandma has a smart phone.”

“This conversation’s so fake I’m surprised Phichit isn’t using it as makeup.” He didn’t know why he said that; Phichit was lovely. He’d probably have laughed at that anyway.

“That’s mean,” Leo chided, “they’re not very good at splicing each shot together though. Wow.”

And a few moments even later, Guang Hong was watching a basketball scene, for some reason. Or two guys giving up playing basketball because of a heatwave… in winter? Okay. “‘A day without sex is a day wasted man’? What on earth-”

“A day watching this film is a day wasted.”

“I had cake today; I wouldn’t consider that a day wasted.”

“I wish I had cake.”

“I wish we were watching something else.”

The next scene, however, was even more absurd.

“This guy’s installing a solar panel… is that all there was to that scene?”

“Seems so,” Leo gave a shrug.

“Where are the birds anyway? You promised me a birdemic, de la Iglesia.”

“Give it some time. There’s the bad romance plot to get out of the way first.”

And bad romance plot there was, complete with dates devoid of all chemistry. Really, it was the characters repeating pretty much what had happened in the movie already, with bad audio. It was so boring, in fact, that Leo left halfway through to make himself a Margarita. The cocktail, not the pizza. Guang Hong didn’t blame him, but it also meant Leo missed an actual moment with some chemistry involving the love interest talk about her cat.

“If I could afford it, I’d have at least ten of them.”

It was then that Guang Hong wondered, in horror, if this was actually a webcam filming one of Yuri and Otabek’s dates. He was going to throw up.

When Leo came back, complete with alcoholic drink, Guang Hong requested he pause the movie so he could sneak into the kitchen and grab a milkshake. Maybe they could make a drinking game out of it. The next scene involved Love Interest [he couldn’t remember any of their names] summarizing to her mother everything that happened. Leo downed his cocktail and went to make another.

“Did her mom suggest she get herself a sugar daddy?” he asked when they’d resumed watching.

“Best character in the whole damn film.” Guang Hong wondered if that’s what Yuuri’s mom had told him at some point.

“Please don’t let the two friends do it,” whined Leo, “I’m not sure I could take the weirdness.”

“Why does she have one plain white poster with ‘imagine peace’ on it? Who has that in their room?”

“She’s hot too,” Leo mumbled.

“If only she could act… if only any of them could...”

The next scene almost broke Guang Hong. “Are they just gonna… keep clapping… this whole time?”

“Whilst the audio keeps cutting out? Oh God.”

“Your God cannot help you anymore,” Guang Hong moaned.

“No really, that was the whole meeting? Them all clapping? Who made this?”

“Oh no wait, the guy’s friend has a remote controlled car. Think that was in his briefcase?” Guang Hong giggled, “it’s what I would take to a meeting.” Oh boy, did he just love Perpetually Horny Friend.

“-Chicks love cars, if you wanna get into their pants you better have a nice, hot ferrari.” “She’s my hot ferrari.”

“You’re my hot ferrari, Jiji,” said Leo with a lopsided grin, now on his third Margarita. Guang Hong really needed to have a word with him about that nickname...

“You’re mine, treasure.” Sometimes Guang Hong didn’t know if what they had was bromance or just straight up romance. That was also something he needed to talk to Leo about at some point, and was looking forward to it less than explaining Leo kept affectionately referring to him as ‘penis’. It was funny when they were alone, less so when walking down a busy street in Shanghai.

“Wow, a double date to see ‘an inconvenient truth’, how romantic.” Leo rolled his eyes. “And is that girl wearing an ‘imagine peace’ t-shirt?”

“Of course, guy who wants ferrari how wants an environmentally friendly car. This by any chance trying to push a clean energy agenda?”

“Maybe. Though to be fair, when I saw ‘an inconvenient truth’ I wanted to live in a cave.”

“If they wanted to make more of an impact with their global warming message, they should’ve set it here instead.”

“Is that guy’s friend talking about sex again?” Leo pulled a face, “he makes Chris look like a nun.”

“Funny image. Wish there were birds in this.”

“Give it time.”

So Guang Hong did. What he got instead was more stiff, lifeless romance right up to a drawn out dance scene in an incredibly empty bar. Seriously, just the main couple and the guy singing. Not to mention the dancing was less than impressive. Or was it impressive in how bad it is? It was like watching his parents, or a drunk Yuuri. No wait, drunk Yuuri was way more entertaining.

“I know what my next short programme music will be,” Leo commented with a laugh.

“Not if I do it first,” replied Guang Hong, grinning stupidly. He’d even steal the couple’s crap dance moves.

That scene, as long winded as it was, ended all too soon for them, and now they were faced with what could be the most awkward, wooden sex scene in the history of film. No really, it just looked like someone was filming to random people making out in their underwear. It was just unedited kissing on a bed… Oh God, was Leo showing him porn? He wished it was them in that motel. Was that what Leo was trying to say?

He didn’t have time to dwell on it though because, at last, he was greeted with the birdemic. And boy was that worth the wait. He’d almost jumped out of bed at the sudden onslaught of screeching from what he assumed was poorly-animated birds.

“Holy fuck,” whispered Leo.

“Are those birds… dive bombing into houses and exploding… whilst making plane noises?” Guang Hong’s brain was on the verge of melting at this point. Oh, and the explosion effects were just as bad as the birds themselves. This was hell for him, but at the same time there was something glorious about it.

No wait, the animations of the birds hovering in the air was the worst special effect. He was going to cry.

“They’re just floating in front of those houses,” hissed Leo in disbelief, peeking out between his fingers, “there’s no attacking animation.”

“I know this is probably not what needs to be focused on,” said Guang Hong, “the couple are wearing the exact same clothes from the night before. They’re not even rumpled or anything, not even their hair.”

“Must’ve got tired from sucking face and not done anything else. Just gone straight to sleep.”

“Weak.”

Leo’s eyebrows shot up. “Christ. I’m almost scared to find out what it would be like to make lo-”

“Oh I’d cover you like a birthday cake. I would condition your hair with my jizz.”

“Dude, same,” Leo drew out the last word, grinning stupidly. “I’d bend you over like a car seat.” No wonder Phichit- along with everyone else- had no idea if they were dating or not.

“It’s late and I’m being silly,” Guang Hong tried to explain.

Leo wiggled his eyebrows and held up his glass, “don’t worry about it; I’ve not been adding lime juice to the last five of these.”

“You’ve had five...”

“Have you been watching this damn film?”

“Not recently, we’ve been talking.”

“Well the best scene’s about to come up,” Leo rubbed his hands in anticipation.

Guang Hong’s eyes flickered back to the video on screen. “Who’s this dude and why is he collecting coat hangers?”

“To fight the birds.”

“...Coat hangers?”

“I know right? They’re birds, not abortions.”

“Leo!”

Leo held up his glass again. “Five! Remember?”

“Bloody hell...”

“Here we go,” Leo grinned with glee and Guang Hong’s brain finally melted.

They were swatting at birds… with coat hangers. If that wasn’t enough, the birds were just poor animations, barely moving on the top layer of the shot. They weren’t hitting them, and the birds kept flapping, stationary. This was it, this was what was going to kill him.

“What the fuck,” he whispered, covering his face with his hands and keeping the tablet propped on his knees.

“Told you!” Leo had actually fallen off his chair laughing. He was purple in the face by the time he’d managed to climb back up.

“How long of this crap is there left to go?” he moaned.

“About forty minutes. Why?”

“I’m not sure I can make it,” Guang Hong wiped his forehead, “the birds got me… go on… without me… tell my wife I love her...”

“Babe please, hold on for me!”

“I… can’t...” And Guang Hong collapsed on his pillow, eyes shut and tongue lolling.

“Come on man stop fucking around we still have forty minutes of this shit to go.”