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purple-babygirl · 1 year ago

Text

don't call me daddy

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x little!f!reader

Word count: 4,826

Summary : In a world where littles are openly themselves, they volunteer to help and be helped by willing caregivers. In spite of himself, Bucky finds himself stuck with one and to keep the nagging away, he has to learn how to be around her with everything that that entails.

Warnings: Bucky is mean, a couple of insults, mistreatment of age regressed reader, crying, mentions of hot liquid getting on skin, crying, mentions of the r-word and the s-word, Bucky's PTSD & nightmares

A/N: so this is an idea I've had for forever and I finally mustered up enough courage to share it with you guys. Please enjoy and let me know what you think and if you have anything you'd like to suggest for the upcoming parts. I love you 💜

“This sounds stupid,” Bucky grumbled when Sam suggested the program.

“It's not stupid, Buck and it works!”

“If it worked for you doesn't mean it's gonna work for me, Sam. You have patience and it's in your nature to want to take care of people.”

“Says the one who looked out for Steve all his life!”

“Steve was one person and he was actually dumb, he wasn’t acting like he can't fucking feed himself!”

“They're not acting. They're age regressed.” Sam tried to remain calm.

“What does that even mean!”

“It means—”

“You know what? I don't care because I'm not doing it.” Bucky smiled before leaving Sam's house and going back to hide in his own.

But Sam was persistent. He was determined to get Bucky help that would actually help. So he suggested the program to Bucky's therapist and before Bucky could punch him, she was having him sign the contract.

“Sam, I don't wanna meet anyone. It's not gonna work anyway so let's just pick any of them.”

“They're not service dogs, Bucky!”

“Really? Because that's exactly what it sounds like they are to me.”

Sam glared at him, elbowing his side as a short lady with a kind smile approached them.

Bucky didn't pay her much attention. He didn't want to be here and he didn't care what she was reciting.

Only thing that caught his attention was when she asked him what age he would prefer so she could introduce him to a group of littles.

He was dreading this. It was stupid.

“…what are you looking for?” Bucky caught the end of her talk with Sam.

“I don't know, someone who can talk like they're not retarded,” he answered the lady rudely and she smiled in understanding when Sam apologized.

“They're not retarded. All of them are perfectly healthy and okay. They're age regressed,” she told Bucky and he rolled his eyes so hard he felt they might never return from the back of his head.

He hated those two words. Age regressed, what the fuck did that even mean?

“Maybe we can meet some of the littles who are not so young, like 6 year olds?” Sam suggested and she nodded, leading them to a building with long corridors and lots of doors.

Bucky could see adult women and men playing with dolls, sleeping with pacifiers and some of them even had other people feeding them.

What the hell was this place? Did they expect him to do that? With a person perfectly capable of handling his or her own self but chooses not to?! Was this the 21st century? Because he didn’t like it very much.

The lady led them inside her office and got a group of files out of some organized drawer. She'd barely laid them out on the table before Bucky was slamming his finger on one.

“We'll take this one,” he said, staring at the lady in disinterest.

“But you haven't even seen them,” Sam said between his teeth, kicking his leg under the table. He wished Bucky cared enough to do this right.

“I've seen enough. I pick this file and I wanna leave,” Bucky seethed back.

“This is Doll. She's one of the softest littles I've ever met and I think you've made a great choice, Mr. Barnes.”

“You call her Doll?”

“Yes, real names aren't revealed for the privacy of our littles unless they decide otherwise and she chose the name herself when she joined us.” The lady smiled kindly, making Bucky even madder.

“Whatever, let's get this over with. Tell her to come so we could leave.”

“Mr. Barnes, I have to admit your attitude towards this is very concerning and I fear I cannot risk the peace of our littles who confide in us to find them safe partners! Like I said she's one of the gentlest and I need to know you're going to treat her right before I even let you meet her!” The woman voiced her concerns and Bucky sighed.

He couldn't blow this now. He's come far enough with this whole process and if he went back to his therapist like that she was definitely going to get out her dreadful notebook.

He had to take this girl home tonight or else they would make him go through this same process over and over again.

“I'm sorry. I'm just a little confused, I guess.” Bucky scratched his beard.

“That's okay.” She smiled again, “most of our visitors are, but you can always ask.”

“Well— what is wrong with them?!” He exclaimed, gesturing with his hands in the air.

Sam kicked him again and glared.

“What? She said I could ask!”

“It's okay,” she told Sam with a chuckle.

“Nothing is wrong with them. Them regressing in age is their way to cope and relieve anxiety or deal with other mental illnesses such as traumatic experiences, or even just stress. It's a freer, calmer state of mind for them to return to when it's no longer easy for them to be big.”

Her calm, kind manner while explaining this made Bucky even angrier inside. This wasn’t normal and they should all stop acting like it was.

“So they're supposed to be helping me with my issues but they're dealing with their own issues?”

Like he originally thought, this was stupid.

“Yes, it's a mutual helping program.” The lady confirmed.

“Oh. And what's this Doll's issue?”

“Doll reverts to age regression as a coping mechanism for her depression and PTSD. She's been doing great lately actually!”

“Is she suddenly gonna go grownup or?” Bucky continued, involuntarily asking every question on his mind.

“No, like I said, Doll reverts to little space for the comfort and safety of it and while she can coax herself out of her headspace, she rarely ever chooses to.”

“But she can?”

“Yes. But I need to tell you, Mr. Barnes, that this is not why you're here.” She reminded, wanting to ensure the safety of self expression for the little one.

“I know.”

“I also need you to promise me to be a good caregiver for her. She's a sweet girl and I can guarantee she will be good for you.”

“I promise.” Bucky knew he was lying but he couldn’t care less about his honesty at the moment.

“And it’s never acceptable to make fun of her or try to force her into a more grownup headspace. That only makes it worse and her mind regresses further.”

“So what she becomes younger?!” He was trying so hard not to get frustrated, why make him!

“That's correct.” She nodded.

“How young?” Sam asked.

“The youngest she's ever been is 4.”

“Oh.” Great. Just great.

“She can still talk just fine,” she reassured them, knowing Bucky didn't want anyone who couldn't talk or seemed 'retarded'.

“Okay, good.” Bucky nodded, wanting to get out of the place as soon as possible.

“Would you like to meet Doll now or do you wanna take a look at the rest of the files?”

“I'll meet her.” Bucky stood up, hand already at the doorknob.

The meeting thing went relatively well and Bucky was surprised the girl wasn't intimidated by his frown or intense stare. She was mesmerized by the metal arm even.

He wasn't going to lie to himself, he still thought this whole thing was dumb but he needed to convince his therapist and everyone that he was okay again so they'd leave him alone.

She didn’t ask him any questions or have any conditions. She just stared at him with wide, sparkly eyes.

A minute later he heard the girl whisper her agreement to the short lady.

Apparently, she was big enough to make the decision to leave with a strange man she didn't know but not enough to properly dress herself or sleep without a damn toy.

Bucky was relieved anyway; glad she was idiotic enough to choose him so he wouldn't have to meet with any other 'littles'. And she wasn't ugly to look at either.

The old lady had a word with her privately before she was packing a bag and they were on their way to Bucky’s place.

“Where do I stay, daddy?”

Bucky hasn’t said a word to her since they’d left the institution. He made her carry her bag from the car to the elevator and from the elevator inside the apartment. He wasn’t going to be nobody’s maid.

She was physically capable and that didn’t need a professional to see it.

“I don’t know, figure it out.” Bucky shrugged, kicking his shoes off by the door and stepping inside.

She followed his lead and neatly placed her shoes at the corner by the door as well.

“Where do you want me to stay, daddy?” she asked politely, wanting to make him comfortable, seeing he was the owner of the house.

He was making her a little nervous.

This wasn’t his energy back at the institution and she tried her best not to get scared.

“I don't want you. I never did,” Bucky told her the minute she sat on his couch, throwing his keys on the wooden coffee table, “We're just gonna pretend your presence here is changing something and then I'm gonna return you.”

I don't want you.

She's definitely heard that before.

Return her. Like she was some sort of item. She wasn't what he wanted and it cracked her trained-to-love heart.

“Yes, daddy,” she replied brokenly, tears threatening to spill over the rims of her eyes.

Nothing was worse than feeling unwanted.

“Don't call me that.” Bucky snapped.

“B— But you're my daddy.” She was seriously confused now. Why would he pick her if he didn’t want this?

“I'm not your anything and stop acting so small, you look grown up enough to me.”

Why did he take her home if he didn’t like her and didn’t want to be her Daddy?

“I'm not acting.” Tears rolled down her cheeks and she felt more insecure than ever.

“Yeah, yeah, you're age regressed. Whatever, just don't call me that. I'm no one's daddy.” Bucky took his shirt off throwing it on the couch beside her, making her flinch.

“But what should I call you if not—”

“Call me Mr. Barnes, if you're so keen on being polite.” Bucky rolled his eyes.

“Yes, Mr. Barnes.” She sniffled.

“And stop crying.” He huffed.

“Yes, Mr. Barnes.” She quickly wiped at her face, holding the rest of her tears inside and forcing the lump in her throat further down.

Bucky muttered something under his breath before snatching his shirt and leaving to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him as she flinched again.

He didn't say she was a good girl for calling him what he wanted, or for stopping her crying when she was told to. He didn't like her and he wanted to return her.

What was she supposed to do until he sent her back? He didn't want her help even if they said he needed it.

Was it going to be like this for the next 3 months? How was she going to do all of the grown up stuff if Daddy Mr. Barnes didn't help her? How was she going to live? And why did she still care to try her best to be good for the harsh, blue-eyed man?

She didn’t know what to do so she sloppily changed her clothes by herself, putting her socks in the hamper to be washed like a good girl.

She washed her hands and feet by herself, unknowingly making Bucky think he was right all along about letting her do things on her own as she should.

That was until he put a hot cup of instant noodles before her for dinner though. He refused to help her eat and she accidentally spilled hot soup over her hand and the wooden table. It was chaos.

Bucky cursed out loud and she started crying in pain.

He had enough pity on her to drag her to the bathroom and put her hand under the cold water. If his hold on her arm hurt, she didn’t say anything.

“Keep it there, don’t you dare move.”

“Mr. Barnes, don’t leave,” she sniffled, eyes red and in pain.

“I’m not leaving you in the Sahara desert.” Bucky rolled his eyes, “I gotta go clean the mess you made.” He left her in the bathroom and she kept her hand under the water, not daring to move like she was told.

“How hard is it to eat fucking noodles! It’s not quantum physics!” Bucky muttered angrily as he wiped the soup off the table with a cloth.

“Fuck that age regression shit I am done!” He took their noodle cups to the kitchen and dumped both in the bin.

“What are you still doing in there! It’s not like you got burnt by lava!” Bucky shouted to her, walking to the bathroom.

“I— I— Mr. Barnes, you told me not to move.” She began crying again at his angry demeanor.

“For fuck’s sake,” Bucky groaned, “do you ever stop crying?!”

“I’m s-sorry.” She hiccupped. She didn’t know what to say or how to please him she just wanted him to stop glaring at her. She was scared.

“Get out of there and dry your hands,” Bucky told her, sitting on the couch with a sigh.

“Yes, Mr. Barnes.” Came her chocked whisper.

“Does it hurt?” Bucky asked when she came out of the bathroom, tears drying on her cheeks.

The question surprised her. Maybe he did care after all.

“Burns a little,” she told him, pointing to the back of her hand where the skin got burnt.

“I might have a cream here somewhere,” he said, trying his best to keep an unconcerned expression on.

She took a look around when Bucky stood up to look in the kitchen. It was a cozy place and she wasn’t too needy but she couldn’t help but wonder about where she was going to sleep.

There didn’t seem to be enough furniture in here.

“Try not to touch it and you should be fine in the morning,” Bucky instructed after applying the burns cream to the sensitive area of skin.

“Thank you, Mr. Barnes.” She whispered before absentmindedly pecking Bucky’s cheek.

Bucky’s eyes widened at her guts. He certainly didn’t see that coming. It was her first night here how was she so bold!

His breath stuttered out of his lungs but he quickly recomposed himself.

Bucky’s jaw clenched and he gave her a dark stare.

“Do you have a death wish?”

“N— No.” She quickly shook her head.

“Did I give you permission to do that?”

“No.” She shook her head again, sort of knowing where this was going. She was going to get punished.

“Then why’d you do it?” Bucky sneered through his teeth.

“To th— thank Mr. Barnes.” He made her so nervous she could barely hear herself answer him.

Bucky hated her. She had no sense of boundaries. He hated the way she cried all the time. He hated the way she referred to him in third person.

He hated her.

“You already said that, didn’t you?”

She nodded.

“Don’t do it again.” Was all Bucky said and she was relieved.

“Yes, Mr. Barnes.”

Bucky scoffed and stood up to put the cream back where he found it.

Turned out, Bucky had no bed. He slept on the floor and he didn’t need one.

“But where do I sleep, Mr. Barnes?” She asked in a small voice.

“Anywhere that is not next to me,” Bucky replied, not even sparing her a glance.

“Can I sleep here?” she asked, patting the couch.

“Suit yourself.”

“Thank you, Mr. Barnes.” She gave a shy smile.

“I didn’t make the damn couch. Just go to sleep.”

“Bad word again,” she whispered.

“What was that?” Bucky raised an eyebrow.

“Nothing.” She slammed a hand on her mouth.

“Repeat what you just said if you know what’s good for you.” Bucky glared.

“I— Mr. Barnes said a bad word,” she whispered shakily.

“Yeah, well, it’s my house! I’ll talk however I want!” Bucky raised his voice.

“Yes, Mr. Barnes.” She nodded, not even thinking about arguing that he shouldn’t curse in front of a little.

“Go to sleep.”

“Yes, Mr. Barnes.” She quickly plopped on the couch, covering herself with a blanket, and burying her face in a cushion.

Bucky almost chuckled; almost thought it was cute but he shook the smile off his face quickly and sighed, taking his shirt off and getting himself on the hard floor, easily falling asleep.

He always falls asleep so fast because nightmares usually wake him up few hours after; he be waiting for bed time all day.

She peeked from under the blanket when she heard Bucky snore, carefully tiptoeing to her bag to get her stuffie. She took one look at shirtless Bucky, her cheeks heating up, before sliding back under the covers on the couch.

Her Daddy that didn’t like to be called Daddy was beautiful.

It has started again. He’s chasing a person, he corners them to where they could not run anymore, his left hand wraps around their throat, they struggle and beg and then snap. He kills them.

Bucky startled awake, having a hard time taking his breath only to find her on the floor next to him.

Her eyes were full of worry and maybe even sympathy as she clutched a stuffed animal. Bucky didn’t like it.

“It’s okay, Daddy— Mr. Barnes. ‘T was just a bad dream.” She whispered, dropping her stuffie to wrap her short arms around Bucky.

He wouldn’t admit it but it felt nice to be held. Something inside him wanted to succumb to the gentleness of her gesture. But Bucky shut that down at once.

“Get off,” Bucky huffed tiredly as the girl clung to him and rubbed his sweaty back.

“But—”

“Get. Off.” He repeated, grinding his teeth and she reluctantly slipped off his lap and went back to her spot on the floor.

She stared at him as he panted and frowned for a second before leaving the room.

Bucky scoffed, rubbing a hand down his hot face. She probably went to cry in the bathroom again; such a crybaby.

Except she didn’t.

She returned with a relatively cool glass of water, only half full. She didn't want to be bad and spill.

“I got you water, Mr. Barnes.” She carefully got on her knees and offered him the cup.

“Stop saying my name so much.” Bucky snatched the cup out of her hand, gulping down the water without showing an ounce of gratitude.

She pouted, crawling to her bag to get him tissues because she didn’t see any around.

“So you do know how to act around liquids after all.” Bucky taunted, still not over the fact that she spilled soup over his table before taking the tissues from her to wipe his forehead.

“Do you want me to sing you a lullaby, Mr. Barnes? It helps me after bad dreams.” She suggested, desperately hoping he would let her help.

“Not all of us act like kids to flee our nightmares.”

“Mr. Barnes.” Her eyes filled with tears and it was the last thing Bucky wanted to deal with, “I’m not acting.”

She was hurt but he didn’t care. He said what he said.

“Get back on the couch, I wanna go to sleep.” Bucky dismissed, pushing the empty glass against the wall.

“Yes, Mr. Barnes.” She whispered dejectedly, taking her friend and crawling back to the couch.

The same thing happened every night for another four nights. At this point she was really worried about the man she started singing lullabies anyway, not waiting for his permission.

“Hey, you!”

“Doll,” she corrected.

“Whatever! Shut up already. I told you I don’t need your stupid singing.” Bucky growled into his pillow.

He was lying. He hated admitting it but he was. Her voice was actually angelic. He never went back to sleep again after a nightmare but that changed when she ignored his wishes and started singing. Bucky could drift off again to her soft voice.

He could get more hours of nightmareless sleep because of her lullabies. But he was too stubborn to admit anything that came from her was working for him.

It must be a coincidence. He probably fell asleep again because he was exhausted from being mad at her all day.

“I know Mr. Barnes doesn’t need it. It’s for me.” She lied as well. She knew lying wasn’t good girl like but she was helping Mr. Barnes; it was for good reason.

“Mr. Barnes,” her small voice called to him but Bucky was ignoring her.

He was pretending he couldn’t hear her and continued staring at the TV because she talked too much for his liking.

“Mr. Barnes.” She ever so lightly touched Bucky’s arm.

“What!” he spit suddenly, making her jump.

“We— We need to go shopping. Mrs. Morrison will visit tomorrow.”

She knew the process and for some reason didn’t want to be taken away from Bucky.

If Mrs. Morrison came and saw the way the apartment was or the way Bucky treated Doll, she was definitely going to make her leave with her.

“What?!”

“It’s day five.” She reminded, tilting her head to the side.

“Yeah, so?” Bucky’s body fully turned to face her.

“Tomorrow’s visit day. We have to go shopping.”

“How do I know you’re not lying just to get me to buy you things?”

“I don’t lie, Mr. Barnes.” She assured him, looking hurt at even the suggestion.

“It’s in the papers,” she told him, referring to the contract he’s signed as well as the guide he was provided with her file before leaving the institution.

Bucky narrowed his eyes at her, but stood up to look at the papers he’d carelessly shoved in a drawer in the kitchen a few days ago.

“Shit,” he muttered when he saw she wasn’t lying. He heard her whisper bad word but chose to ignore it.

There were scheduled visits listed with different time intervals between each visit for the next three months.

Bucky groaned, throwing the paper sheet back in the drawer and slamming it shut.

“Put your clothes on, we’re going fucking shopping.”

“Bad word.”

“Don’t even—” she ran to the bathroom to change before Bucky could get angrier.

What has Sam gotten him into?

“Why’s your hair so messy!” Bucky asked, shoving her out of his way to grab a jar of peanut butter and put in the cart.

“I don’t know how to do it on my own an’ Mr. Barnes kept telling me to hurry up.”

Her voice was so small and if Bucky wasn’t so infuriated by the situation he would’ve felt bad for how he spoke to her.

“You’d think you’d actually look decent enough after taking forever to get ready.” Bucky huffed.

She remained silent, looking down and closing in on herself.

“Do you eat this?” Bucky asked, waving a box of corn flakes in front of her.

“Yes, Mr. Barnes.”

Bucky nodded, throwing the box in the cart.

“Didn’t I tell you to stop saying my name so much?”

“I’m sorry, Mr. Barn—” Bucky’s cold stare stopped the word on her tongue.

“Call me Bucky.”

He didn’t want her to call him Bucky. But if that Mrs. Morrison was visiting tomorrow she couldn’t know he made her speak to him formally.

“Bucky?”

“Bucky.”

“Yes, Bucky.” She smiled shyly, feeling one step closer to the man.

Bucky didn’t know his life would turn upside down so fast.

He never cared about grocery shopping because he didn’t need that much stuff and he mostly ate at restaurants or diners or bought take out. He mainly just had beer filling his fridge.

But with her tied to him now he was buying all kinds of food: fresh vegetables and fruits, juice boxes, snack bars and way too many Oreos. Not to mention the toiletries he had to pay for because aside from her tooth and hair brushes, she came with nothing.

“Bucky, can we please get this?” she asked, pointing to a stuffed white wolf.

“No, you already have one at home. I see it every night.”

“Please, Bucky, please. Pretty please,” she begged, giving puppy eyes and pressing her palms together even.

“Okay, fine, shut up. God!” Bucky grumpily put the toy in the cart and got them to the nearest cashier before she could pick anything else.

She was so happy and was going to cherish her new stuffie more than ever.

Bucky was pacing back and forth in the living room. He needed to find a way to convince her not to tell Mrs. Morrison or whatever her name was how he treated her.

He didn’t want her to know she had any type of power over him because of the situation.

Bucky definitely wasn’t going to say please, but he also knew he couldn’t scare her into saying what he wanted.

“Bucky, please go to bed. Wolfie can’t sleep.” She whined, hugging her newest stuffie to her heart.

Bucky gave her yet another hard glare. She made him so angry that sometimes he forgot how to function. She was so spoiled and oblivious.

“I won’t say anything to Mrs. Morrison,” she whispered.

“You think I care what you have to say?! They could take you right now for all I care!” Bucky replied angrily.

“I know…” she mumbled, “I don’t want them to.”

Her words left Bucky without a reply. He was confused. She didn’t want to leave? Why not? Bucky hasn’t said one kind word to her since she’s been entrusted to him.

Was she some type of masochist?

“I wanna stay with Bucky. Sing him lullabies and eat noodles with him,” she said, her voice soft and heavy with sleep, before her eyes shut as she drifted off.

Her words put Bucky at ease for now and he got on the floor to finally try to get some sleep. He tried to ignore the way they affected him though.

“Bucky,” she called gently.

“Hmm.”

“I need to shower,” came her timid whisper.

“Do you see me using the bathroom?! Help yourself.” Bucky huffed, stirring the sugar in his mug.

“I can’t.”

“What do you mean you can’t?!” he snapped, throwing the spoon in the sink.

“I need Bucky’s help.” Her face was on fire with embarrassment of having to say this out loud.

“For fuck’s sake,” Bucky rolled his eyes, pushing his mug aside before grabbing her arm and pushing her to the bathroom.

She whimpered as they stood before the glass door of the shower.

“This, because you’re not stupid you’re just age regressed, opens the hot water.” Bucky pointed to the tap handle on the right. “This opens the cold water. And this—”

“Bucky, that’s not what I need help with.” She shook her head, biting down on her lip.

“What do you want from me then?!” Bucky had no patience and her bashfulness wasn’t helping.

She raised her arms up before whispering, “I need Bucky to gimme a shower.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Bad word.”

“Don’t start now! You don’t know how to shower?!”

She shook her head, pouting as her eyes got teary again, “not when little.”

“This is bullshit. I didn’t even wanna do this. Damn you, Sam Wilson!” Bucky said, walking out of the bathroom angrily as she trailed behind him like the lost puppy she was.

“Bad word.”

“Stop!” Bucky boomed and she put her hands behind her back timidly.

“Please, Bucky,” she begged, getting hold of his hand.

“No! On my dead body!”

“Stand straight or I swear I’m gonna leave you here and go!”

“Yes, Bucky,” she giggled, the water trickling down her spine tickling her.

“Now what?” He huffed, trying not to stare at her naked chest.

“Now, this.” She held up the bottle of conditioner for him and Bucky sighed before taking it and squeezing some on his hand.

He was about to smooth it down her scalp when she moved away.

“No, no! This goes on the ends or else it gives you dandruff,” She said and Bucky would’ve facepalmed so hard if it wasn’t for the slippery matter covering his palms.

This was going to be long.

She was fast asleep on Bucky’s couch after her shower, so peaceful and without a care in the world.

Bucky envied her as he got in place on the floor. He really wished he had enough flexibility in him to accept help and care from someone.

But no, he didn't need her. He didn't need any of this. He just had to go through tomorrow and the rest will figure itself out.

Yeah, yeah just tomorrow for now, Bucky thought as he drifted off.

part II

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danieyells · 10 months ago

Text

@2flowerz also asked for Lyca so

NOW WITH 100% MORE DOGGO LYCA. HE IS DEFINITELY A HUMAN AND NOT A WEREWOLF. He is trying very hard to be a human. I love him very much. . . .

Hello: (the first time the game is opened after that character is set as home screen NPC. Only happens once per day, unless the character is switched out and back.)

"...You again. Where're we going today?"

You've Got Mail: (whenever there's something in the inbox, usually Arena rewards)

"Hey, you got letters. Don't you have to read them? Oh, don't you know how?"

he understands if you can't read, man. neither can he.

Default: (requires no affinity, has no time constraints)

"You smell sweeter than usual today... Stop. Go away."

after learning that the pc is going to turn into the anomaly that cursed them any sort of 'you smell nicer than normal' feels like such a threat lmao

"You want to touch me? Fine. Ten seconds and that's it."

that is more than enough my good sir

"When I find Neros, I wanna prove I've been getting along with humans. Then he'll definitely let me live with him."

considering he related the term 'neglect play' to what Neros did to him. . .I'm not so sure. . .and if Neros was as old as he sounds like he was, I wonder if he's even still alive. . . .

"Hey! Moth-eaten Casanova! Where'd you go? I'm gonna show you my special move today."

"special move" in Japanese is 「必殺技」 or 'lethal move'/'killer technique', usually unique to a person or fighting style. Not sure if he wants to show Ed how cool he is or try and kill him lmao--

"This phone thingy they gave me keeps making noises and making me jump... Why do I gotta carry it everywhere? It's scary!"

Affinity 1: (between 5am and 11am)

"Mnn... Let me sleep... Don't touch me... Zzz..."

Affinity 2: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Laws, school regulations, anomalous law... Manners, morals, rules... How're you s'posed to remember all that?"

man i wish i could tell you. . .i've mostly got the morals in order, that's basically just 'don't do harm to others' when you get down to it. laws are about 50% 'don't do things that may endanger you or others' and 50% bullshit. the rest you're kinda on your own with.

Affinity 3: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Urgh... My skin's crawling... Moon must be gettin' round soon..."

Affinity 4: (between 8pm and 5am)

"At first I was sad 'cause I got put in a different house to Suba, but all kinds of stuff happens here every day so it was fine."

awww he was sad because he doesn't get to see Subaru as often but he's not bored so it's alright! glad he's comfortable ;u;

Affinity 5: (between 8pm and 5am)

"H-Hey, don't come so close! Somethin' about your scent makes my stomach feel weird!"

WE'RE ONLY ON AFFINITY 5 DUDE YOU CAN'T BE CATCHING FEELINGS THIS EARLY it's probably because he's scared of girls or something lol

Affinity 6: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"I didn't do anything wrong! Those guys were saying mean stuff about me 'cause they thought I couldn't hear. All I did was yell at them."

I hate how they won't even let Lyca defend himself verbally. . . .

Affinity 7: (between 11am and 4pm)

"I don't mind classes. The teachers say cool stuff. Once I learn to read the textbooks and the notes and the blackboard it'll be perfect."

HE'S GONNA BE SUCH A GOOD STUDENT WHEN HE CAN READ???

Affinity 8: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"There was this big noise in our practical class and my ears popped out. Everyone ran away screaming. Damn it..."

wow they're cowards if the ears alone scared them. . .how're they supposed to deal with anomalies if that scared them!?

Affinity 9: (between 8pm and 5am)

"This? It's a picture book, duh. How come you don't know that when you're a human? I study with it before bed, everyone does it."

I wonder who made him a picture book of all the things he'd be learning as a first year to study with. . . . . .or maybe it's just a generic picture book lol

Affinity 10: (between 10pm and midnight)

"This blanket's not trash, it's just dirty. I can't sleep without it, so hands off."

he really loves that blanket huh. it must be one of the only things he had from his childhood or from being looked after by neros. . . .

Affinity 11: (between 5am and 11am)

"What's a "so-shul skill"? That blond gigolo was talking about them. He said I don't have any. Is that a good thing?"

he's got social skills!! Just. . .not very human social skills!!!

Affinity 12: (between 11am and 4pm)

"I'm starving... I wanna eat Sho's food, but I can't order it without Suba... Wait, you can read, right?"

Lyca slowly realizing how many people he knows can actually read and thus can help him with placing orders for delicious foods--

Affinity 13: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"That moth-eaten Casanova's in his room all day so I tried to take him for a walk, but he locked his door and ignored me. The hell?!"

LYCA CONTINUES TO SCRATCH AT ED'S DOOR COME FOR WALKIES ED!!!!

Affinity 14: (between 5am and 11am)

"That stupid blond gigolo ran off with my blanket. I'm not done sleeping yet..."

tbf your blanket is filthy. . .and I get it, it's what you've got and it smells familiar but. . . .

Affinity 15: (between 5am and 11am)

"I can't get back to sleep... I'm gonna wake up that moth-eaten Casanova for a walk."

lyca is a dog scratching at your bedroom door with his leash in his mouth like 'yes it is time for walkies now rise human'

Affinity 16: (between 11am and 4pm)

"The teacher asked us to name an anomalous plant you can eat but when I did he said humans can't eat it. So what? I can, so I'm not wrong."

I AGREE WITH HIM HE SHOULD NOT GET THAT MARKED WRONG. if you only want a human applicable question say 'humans' not 'you.

Affinity 17: (between 10pm and midnight)

"In the last place I never knew what time it was and I pretty much just slept all day. Now I gotta get used to having a "roo-teen.""

Affinity 18: (between 8pm and 5am)

"I'm drawing. If I draw all the good stuff and bad stuff that happened every day I won't forget about it."

if he could write he'd keep a diary but since he can't write he's keeping a picture diary. . .and he's a really good artist according to his character story, so it's probably a pretty faithful recreation of whatever happened that day. i'd love to see his picture diary. . . .

Affinity 19: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Huh? The blood on my bed? ...It's nothing. Don't touch my stuff, you're gonna get your smell all over it!"

WHY IS THERE BLOOD IN YOUR BED, BUDDY. ARE YOU OKAY??? IF YOU ATE SOMETHING IN BED THAT'S FINE I JUST DON'T WANT YOU TO BE INJURED. . . .

Affinity 20: (between 5am and 11am)

"...Did you cry? Your scent is all squeezy. How come?"

smelling you sad makes him sad too so tell him why you're feeling sad and he can make the sad go away?

Affinity 21: (between 11am and 4pm)

"I wanna go to the cafeteria, but the teachers won't give me my pocket money. They said I'll get "spoiled." The hell does that mean?!"

GIVE HIM SOME MONEY SO HE CAN BUY FOOD???? HE NEEDS TO EAT????? HE'S BUSY WITH CLASS SO HE CAN'T GO ON MISSIONS YOU CAN'T JUST STARVE THE BOY????

Affinity 22: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"That moth-eaten Casanova told me humans like it if you ignore them sometimes. Something about playing hard to get? I'm gonna try it tomorrow."

I wonder if that has anything to do with Subaru's home screen chat where he wonders why Lyca hasn't messaged him back. . .he's trying to play hard to get because he thinks it'll make Subaru like him more. . . .

Affinity 23: (between 8pm and 5am)

"I'll stay here and be quiet at night, even when the moon's not round. 'Cause you're tired, aren't you? Go sleep."

even if he doesn't have to stay or even if he wants to make lots of noise, he'll stay and be quiet so it's easier for you to fall asleep. He won't be loud and you don't have to worry about him! so sleep tight!

Affinity 24: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Sleep here. Huh? Is there a law that says we can't sleep together? There's not, is there? Hurry up and lie down."

it's pretty much innocent. . .he just wants you close by. . .being able to smell you while he sleeps would probably make it easier to fall asleep. . .feel safe and familiar and everything. . . .

Affinity 25(max): (no time constraints)

"I'm gonna work hard... I'll gonna work so hard, they're gonna say I can live with humans forever..."

Lyca, despite being a werewolf, is a lot like Kaito in that he just wants to be a normal human. Except he never started as a normal human, so he has a bit further of a distance to go to become one. . .he's not a dog, he doesn't wanna be a pet or an animal or anything like that. He wants to be a person like everyone else. But it's hard when others reject him, and when everyone says they think he's too dangerous even when he hasn't done anything wrong. Other ghouls--other humans--do way worse stuff than he does, and yet he's still held to a higher standard. It's not fair. But he's working as hard as he can to catch up. . . .

Spring: (March-May) (between 5am and 11am)

"That blond gigolo tried to wash my blanket! He's never coming in my room again!"

he does not like spring cleaning--

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Lately there's flower smells everywhere, but sometimes there's one that kinda smells like you."

IT'S GONNA BE HILARIOUS IF THE ANOMALY THAT CURSED YOU HAPPENS TO LIVE IN OBSCUARY'S FOREST. . .LIKE YEAH IT'S JUST OUT THERE IT WAS ALWAYS ON CAMPUS IDK WHAT TO TELL YOU WE COULD'VE BEEN WORKING ON THIS CURE BEFORE YOU GOT IT.

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"Harurin kept nagging, so I went to the safari park. Not gonna lie...it was super fun."

I love that Lyca uses the nicknames Rui uses for some people lol and I bet he loved running around Jabberwock!!! All that fresh open air and the wildlife. . .he's a wolf at heart really and truly.

(between 8pm and 5am)

"Cherry blossom petals are super fun. They're like, whoosh, then they fall everywhere. I wish our house had some."

Summer: (June-August) (between 5am and 11am)

"Urgh... My head...it hurts... This? It's shaved ice. The blond gigolo told me to eat it so I don't get "heat eggs-aw-schun.""

oh buddy you're eating it too fast. . . . . .

(between 11am and 4pm)

"I was just in that moth-eaten Casanova's room and it was so cold I thought it was gonna snow! Is he secretly a yeti?"

okay it was only 63 degrees in there it wasn't THAT cold Lyca.

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"I'm gonna go practice swimming at Harurin's place. Can you do other stuff besides doggy paddle?"

I can't swim at all so. you are miles ahead of me my friend.

(between 8pm and 5am)

"I know I said I always wanted to do sparklers, but... you sure this's okay? I thought we're not s'posed to play with fire!"

canid instincts are kicking in--fire BAD and SCARY and DANGEROUS. ABORT MISSION.

Autumn: (September-November) (between 5am and 11am)

"I just tried to join in with some guys playing with a ball, but they said I don't know the rules and told me to go away."

THEN TEACH HIM THE RULES god they're such jerks around here.

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Blond Gigolo was makin' this massive fire near the garden just now. It smelled all burnt and sweet... Is that some kinda ritual?"

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"Finished my picture. That Romi guy who comes to the bar all the time said he wanted one, so it's for him."

Romeo does like fine things. This just goes to show how good of an artist Lyca is! I bet Romeo's gonna frame it and put it somewhere people can see lol or maybe just keep it in his room. . .that or he wants to see if he can get him to make a forgery and profit off poor Lyca--

(between 8pm and 5am)

"Moth-eaten Casanova said humans like looking at the moon... D'you get sad if you can't see it?"

Winter: (December-February) (between 5am and 11am)

"I'm gonna go play at that big ice castle after class! Huh? 'Cause playing in the snow's fun."

THE FROSTHEIMERS BETTER NOT GIVE HIM TROUBLE LET MY BOY RUN AND ROMP IN THE SNOW!!!!!!!

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Mm, I don't really feel the cold. Humans get warm when they run around too, don't they? Race you over there! "

he is having so much fun in the winter ;;;;; just running around and playing. . . .

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"My fingers have been gettin' all tingly and stiff and my hair's all crunchy! What's up with that? "

maybe playing in the snow a little too much lol--

(between 8pm and 5am)

"How d'you drink hot drinks so quick? They always burn my tongue... Huh? Dogs have sensitive tongues? I'm a wolf, not a dog..."

His birthday: (April 19th)

"Oh right, it's my birthday. Neros told me my mom wrote down the date."

Your birthday:

"It's your birthday, right? No, I only know 'cause that blond gigolo was yelling about it. ...Here's your present."

I bet he drew something really nice or found you something really cool ;3;

New Years: (January 1st)

"Hope you have a happy and prop...props... prosp...prospinous? new year... Damn it, I practiced that for ages..."

Valentine's Day: (February 14th)

"Oh, thanks. Professor Nicolas said I can't eat chocolate, so I'll give it to Casanova and Gigolo!"

why would you even risk giving him chocolate in the first place lmao. . .also in Japanese he says "I'll share with those two idiots" instead of "casanova and gigolo" lmao

White Day: (March 14th)

"This is for you. I dunno what kinda stuff human girls like, but Suba helped me pick it, so it's prob'ly fine."

Subaru knows girls' tastes is Lyca's logic I guess lmao Subaru is a lil on the femme side comparatively--

April Fool's Day: (April 1st)

"Why's everyone being so mean today?! Telling lies and laughing at me... They're all jerks...!"

please explain the day to him. . .people are mean enough to him as it is. . . .

Halloween: (October 31st)

"My ears and tail are out? I know, I'm doing it on purpose. The moth-eaten Casanova said it's okay today."

THE ONE DAY HE CAN BE HIMSELF IS HALLOWEEN BECAUSE NO ONE WILL THINK ANYTHING OF IT. . .they'll just think it's a cool costume or maybe a fox robe! And he'll get candy for it!!!

Christmas: (December 25th)

"Hey, look! When I got up this present was next to my pillow! Santa really came..."

WHO TAUGHT HIM ABOUT SANTA. . .AND WHY. . .then again Romeo said Santa's reindeer is real so. . .it probably isn't actually harmful to teach him about Santa since Santa's probably somewhat real here. . . .

Idle: (about 20 seconds without interacting with the game) (below 13 affinity)

"...I'm going for a walk."

(13 affinity and above)

"Hey, you alive? Huh, you're breathing so I guess so."

Absent: (logging in for the first time in 2 or more days?)

"How come you stopped coming? Do you hate me? It made my heart all squeezy, so don't do it again."

oh no sweetie. . .sometimes we just have to take care of things and disappear without wanting to. . .sometimes life gets in the way instead of finding away. . . . . . . .

JUST. . .SWEETEST OF SWEETHEARTS. HE'S SO CHILDISH AND ADORABLE AND SWEET AND GOOD. . .I WILL USE MY TEN SECONDS OF PETTING TIME WISELY. He really does try harder than anyone, he's so determined and I believe in him so much. I want my boy to be happy.

#lyca colt #tokyo debunker #tokyo debunker spoilers #datamining cw #danie yells at tokyo debunker

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oracle-of-dream · 1 year ago

Text

Submissive and huh?

Minors DNI

Summary: Your friend Taerae recently learned a new term and wants your thoughts. Explaining it might help him understand properly, but do you have the strength to tell him.

Warnings: Male Reader, Idol Taerae, Student Reader, Lewd faces/Ahegao, Mention of arousal and breeding

Wordcount: 1.2k

Math classes had been kicking your ass all semester and tutoring from the professor wasn't working out. You'd ended up being assigned a study partner. The program was meant for students struggling with the class to help each other. That's how you met Taerae.

He didn't originally introduce himself as an idol, especially since it was an online class. No one had seen his face. But when you met up with him for the first time to study together, you instantly recognized him from TV. You hit it off over a shared hate for math and spent more time together outside class.

He'd complain about his idol life issues and you'd give him any notes from class he'd missed.

You'd just gotten home from a late-night study session at the library. As if it knew, your phone lit up with a text as you sat on your bed.

TR: Yo! Y/N, I met some fans while out with the members today!

YN: Cool. Don't you meet fans wherever you go?

TR: Well these stuck out!

YN: How?

TR: Well, I noticed them, a bunch of guys, giggling in the convenience store and pointing at me and Hao while we were shopping. I didn't want to embarrass them so I just played it cool and ignored them. But then they came up to me!

YN: Okay, some brave fans? That's it?

TR: Just wait a sec!

TR: They came to me and told me they were fans. But more specifically, MY fans! Of course, I was happy to hear, but they were foreigners because they used a term I didn’t know.

YN: What term?

TR: Submissive and Breedable?

TR: I know what submissive means, they mean I'm not an aggressive person. That's not entirely true, but I'm submissive at times.

You looked at your phone, blinking a few times. Some "fans" dared to say that!?

TR: I can't find anything when I look it up, it's probably slang, right?

Maybe telling him that his fans want to breed him wasn't the best thing to tell your friend. He was just too wholesome for that.

YN: Yeah, it is, but it's not something cool. No one says it really, it's not the trend anymore.

TR: Really? I know trends, I'm not old, but I haven’t heard of that.

YN: See? There's no reason to worry, just fans being weird.

TR: Well, the photo they wanted was also...off.

YN: Off how?

TR: They wanted me to stick my tongue out and look up at the camera, which was super high above me. To be honest–it felt a little embarrassing to pose like that.

You shook your head trying not to imagine his cute self making lewd faces for a group of boys, but it was hard. And so were you.

YN: You should be more careful, they could use photos like that weirdly.

TR: What do you mean?

YN: Let's drop it. Subject change, what are you doing now?

TR: I'm getting ready for bed, I just got under the covers.

You looked at the clock, midnight was on its face.

YN: Oh shit, I didn't even realize. You should sleep!

TR: No, no, I'm pretty awake. Plus, it's nice talking to you. Did you want to video call while you get ready for bed?

You’d done it before, talking on video call into the night, but it was always a little like Taerae just wanted to see you.

YN: Sure, I'll call you.

You pressed the video call button on your phone. It showed your reflection as you waited, automatically you straightened your hair a little and kicked some stuff on the floor out of frame.

Taerae answered the phone with a smile, the camera close to his face.

You laughed as you set your phone on your desk, "Well hello to you too, why so close?"

"No reason, I just want to see you closely."

"Well, I can see you so closely I can count your pores," You scoffed as you went into your closet to find pajamas for the night.

"Is it weird I'm holding it so close?"

"A little, but it's no big deal. If you don't wanna show yourself then why'd you wanna video call?"

Taerae didn't answer.

"Are you still thinking about what those guys said?"

He shuffled in bed, "Mmhm."

"I promise it's nothing bad."

"Then why don't you just tell me?"

You sighed, "Okay, fine, I'll spill."

Taerae's eyes peered curiously at the camera as he waited for you to come out of your closet. You settled on wearing a long-sleeved T-shirt and shorts. You returned to find Taerae's eyes filled with impatience.

You swallowed awkwardly, "You already know what the submissive part means, but the other part..."

"Breedable," Taerae reminded you.

"Yeah–It means," You struggled to find a good way to break it to him with that look in his eyes. So full of trust and purity. "It means, they wanna do it with you."

Taerae's expression dropped into surprise, "Oh, that's it? I read about that kind of stuff of fans wanting me to have sex with them. That's not so bad."

"Well, breedable means, specifically where you'd be the one getting fucked. Likely by a man. Who wants to... finish in you."

You couldn't bring yourself to look at the screen to see his expression. He'd fallen silent, thinking of a response. It felt like ten minutes passed until he broke the silence.

Taerae's voice was deep and serious, "Y/n."

"Yeah?"

"Look at the screen." You looked at the screen to see Taerae in bed, holding the camera above him to show off his shirtless torso that was mostly covered by the bed sheet except for his collarbone and neck. "Am I breedable right now?"

You felt warm in your face as you answered, "Yeah, I-I guess."

"Submissive, too?"

"Sure," You said as you looked down at your hands.

"Yes or no! Sure isn't good enough, and look at me!"

You complied, looking at him. He smiled before making a face; his eyes looking up at the camera as he stuck out his tongue and held up a peace sign with his other hand.

"Jesus, Taerae!" You looked away quickly. Your heart was in your ears, pounding as the image of sweet Taerae's lewd face was plastered behind your eyelids.

He laughed loudly. "I am, aren't I? Submissive and breedable. I take it as a compliment, they like me that much! To be honest, you look all shy... You look a little submissive too."

You moved your phone so he couldn't see you anymore.

"I was kidding! Don't hide from me!" Taerae's muffled voice shouted from the speaker of your phone.

After you calmed down, you turned your phone back over to see him still there. Still shirtless, and holding his phone at the same seductive angle.

"You're so weird!" You yelled at Taerae, who just giggled.

"And you still like me anyway. Even with all my breedable energy."

"I'm going to hang up–"

"What!? We gotta see you do the pose too, what if you're more breedable than me, we should test how–"

You cut him off as you pressed the red dial button. You turned your phone off before he could call you again. You lay in bed, alone in the dark, thinking about Taerae's face.

And in the privacy of your home, you test if you can also feel submissive and breedable, making Taerae's new iconic look. A secret he'll never know about... As if you didn't already have a big secret.

#oracle of dreams #kpop x male reader #kpop x male reader smut #x reader #x male reader #x male y/n #male reader #kpop male idol #kpop male reader #zb1 #zb1 x reader #zb1 taerae #kim taerae #taerae x reader #zerobaseone taerae #taerae smut

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yongility · 3 months ago

Text

NEO TV # i like me better when i'm with you ꗃ╭╯ jung jaehyun.

──────── chapter ⵌ 8: ghosts of the past.

𒄬 genre: slowburn / angst / suggestive / gang au / rich kid au / e2l

𒄬 warnings: drug use mention / gang activity / fights / use of weapons / adult language / nsfw scenes / illegal activities / mentions of cheating / toxic family enviroment / addictions / manipulation / insecurities / illegal street racing / death mentions / jeno is jaehyun's brother / lots of angst. - cursives are flashbacks in this chapter.

𒄬word count: 4k

if you want to be in the taglist, just lemme know;) enjoy!

The stars didn’t shine in Neo Zone. At least, not the way they did in books.

Jaehyun used to search for them all the time as a child— staring up at the polluted sky, wondering if they had disappeared forever or if they were simply hiding… afraid, just like him. He had asked his father once, on a night much like this, as they sat on the sidewalk of their house.

“Why don’t we have stars, Dad?”

His father had smiled then. a tired, weathered kind of smile, the kind that carried too many things left unsaid. He reached into his pocket, pulling out a cigarette – a mint one — lighting it with a flick of his old metal lighter. The orange glow flickered against his sharp features, casting deep shadows under his eyes.

“We do have them, kiddo. They’re still up there… you just can’t see them from here”

Jaehyun had frowned, kicking a rock that was near his feet and pouting slightly. “Why not?”

“Because this part of the city is too loud. Too many lights, too much smoke. The sky is covered in all the things people would rather not see.”

Jaehyun didn’t understand what he meant back then. He only knew that the stars were gone, and it felt like the universe had abandoned this place.

“Does that mean we can never see them?”

His father hesitated. And now, years later, Jaehyun would recognize it for what is was – a moment of truth too painful to say aloud.

“Not unless you find a way out, son.”

There had been something in his father’s voice that night… something heavy, like a man speaking from experience. Jaehyun hadn’t questioned it. He had simply leaned into this father’s side, feeling the weight of the man’s arm around him. It was one of the only times his father had truly held him, warmth radiating from his body despite the cold wind that always howled through Neo Zone´s streets.

“Do you ever wish we lived somewhere else?” Jaehyun had asked quietly.

His father chuckled, ruffling Jaehyun’s messy hair. “All the time.”

“Then why don’t we leave?”

His father didn’t answer immediately. Instead, he looked down at his cigarette, tapping the ashes off the edge off the sidewalk. His face had darkened, deep in thought, his usual sharp confidence replaced with something Jaehyun now knew was regret.

“Because some places don't let you leave, Yoonoh. No matter how much you want to.”

Jaehyun had furrowed his brows at that. It didn’t make sense to him. Back then, he still believed that anyone could choose their own future.

“That’s stupid” he muttered, pouting. “If you wanna leave, just leave.”

His father had smiled again, but this time. There was sadness behind it, something Jaehyun couldn’t quite place. His father had looked at him then — really looked at him, the way a man looks at something too precious to keep safe in a world like this one.

“You’re still young, kiddo. That 's good. Keep thinking like that for as long as you can.”

“But you’ll leave one day, won’t you?” Jaehyun had pressed. “You and me… and Jeno?”

His father had turned away at that, staring to the dark sky… looking for the stars.

“Maybe you will” he murmured. “But me? I was born in this place… and I’ll die in it”

Jaehyun hated that answer. He hadn’t understood why his father spoke about himself like he was already gone. He had wanted to argue, to tell him that they could leave together, that they could find a place where the stars were bright, where they could breathe air that didn’t taste like metal and cigarette smoke.

“Listen to me, Yoonoh. When you grow up, I need you to be safe— to watch your back. I need you to take care of Jeno”.

Jaehyun blinked up at him. “Why?”

His father’s eyes were distant, as if he was seeing something Jaehyun wasn’t. Something he hoped his son would never have to see.

“Because in this zone, people don’t like it when you start thinking for yourself. The higher-ups?” he scoffed bitterly, shaking his head. “They’ll smile at you, tell you you’re one of them. But the second they think you’re a liability? They’ll take matters into their own hands.”

Jaehyun shivered, not just from the cold, but from the way his father said it.

“Doesn’t matter who you are, the position you are in… in this place you just have to be in the way to go down if they want to.”

Jaehyun hadn’t fully understood what his father was trying to warn him about. He had thought his father was just being paranoid… but his father deep down knew what was coming and Jaehyun wishes he also knew back then…

Because weeks later, his father was dead.

And Jaehyun never saw the stars again.

Jaehyun wasn’t expecting to see Jeno when he walked into the room.

But there he was.

Sitting comfortably across from Sooman, one arm draped over the back of the leather chair, his posture too casual— too at home in a place he didn’t belong. At home with the person that was the reason for all the bad things that had happened to him. A cigarette burned between his fingers, the thin stream of some curling lazily towards the ceiling. The dim lighting made him look older, sharper, like he had already shed the last pieces of the kid Jaehyun had spent his life trying to protect.

It took Jaehyun a second to react. Just a second. But it was long enough.

Jeno noticed. Sooman noticed.

And suddenly, Jaehyun felt like he was the outsider in this room.

“Took you long enough, hyung” Jeno muttered, not bothering to stand.

Jaehyun’s jaw tightened. He ignored the empty chair Sooman gestured to, his focus locked on Jeno.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

Jeno smirked, tapping the ashes off his cigarette. “Business.”

Jaehyun turned to Sooman, voice tense. “Since when?”

Sooman leaned back, swirling the whiskey in his glass, amused by the exchange. “Since I said so.”

Jaehyun’s fists clenched, but he forced his voice to stay calm. “He’s not ready for this.”

Jeno scoffed, shaking his head. “You heard that boss? Hyung thinks I’m still a kid.”

Sooman chuckled, setting his drink down. "I hear it." His gaze flicked back to Jaehyun, sharp and knowing. "But I also see what’s in front of me."

Jaehyun didn’t like that answer.

Jeno sat up slightly, rolling his shoulders like he was shaking off a weight. "You always do this," he muttered. "Act like you can control me just because you got here first."

Jaehyun exhaled slowly, forcing himself to keep his temper in check.

"That’s not what this is about."

Jeno arched a brow. "No? Then what is it about?"

Jaehyun didn’t answer.

Because the truth was, he didn’t know how to explain it—this gut-wrenching, sinking feeling in his chest. The way his father’s voice echoed in his head, reminding him of the little boy who once followed him around, who clung to his hoodie in his sleep, who looked up to him with eyes that still saw something worth admiring.

"He’s lucky to have you, you know? He’ll look up to you one day. Just make sure he has something worth looking up to."

Jaehyun had spent years trying to protect Jeno from this world.

And now?

Jeno was staring at him like he was the problem.

Sooman watched the silent tension between them with interest before finally speaking.

"Relax, Jaehyun," he said smoothly. "Your brother’s not a child anymore. He’s smart. Capable. And most importantly, he’s loyal."

Jaehyun hated the way he said that.

"That’s why I trust him to be here," Sooman continued. "To sit at this table. To handle things like a man."

Jaehyun’s stomach twisted.

Because Sooman wasn’t just praising Jeno.

He was claiming him.

Jaehyun knew this game. Sooman had played it with him, too. And now, he was playing it with Jeno—feeding him just enough power, just enough approval, so that he would never want to leave.

Jeno wasn’t just sitting at this table. He was being pulled into it.

Jaehyun finally sank into the chair, his movements slower than usual, measured. His eyes never left Sooman.

"So what’s this meeting really about?" he asked.

Sooman smiled. "Business, of course." He leaned forward slightly, voice calm, almost casual. "The exchange is happening soon. I need you ready."

Jaehyun felt the weight of those words settle over him.

"And Jeno?"

"He’ll be ready, too."

Jaehyun’s heart clenched, but his expression remained blank.

Sooman was pulling Jeno in, deeper and deeper, with every word, every look, every casual nod of approval. And Jaehyun couldn’t stop it. Not here. Not now.

So he said nothing.

Sooman leaned forward slightly, resting his elbows on the table. His gaze flickered between the two brothers before settling back on Jaehyun.

"You’re unusually tense today." He smirked. "That exchange got you nervous?"

Jaehyun forced himself to keep his expression neutral. "No."

"Good." Sooman studied him for a moment longer, as if peeling back layers Jaehyun had spent years building. "Because I don’t need hesitation."

Jaehyun stayed silent.

Sooman reached for his drink, taking a slow sip before setting it down with a soft clink. "Jeno tells me you’ve been a little... distracted lately."

Jaehyun’s fingers twitched under the table.

He turned to Jeno, his voice steady. "That what you’ve been doing? Running your mouth?"

Jeno just exhaled another slow breath of smoke, unbothered. "Just saying what I see."

Sooman tilted his head, his smirk widening just a little. "You wouldn’t be letting anything... personal interfere with your duties, would you, Jaehyun?"

Jaehyun knew exactly what he meant.

His pulse thrummed in his ears, but his voice was smooth when he answered.

"No, boss."

Sooman watched him for another second, then nodded in approval.

"Good."

Jaehyun stayed quiet, staring at the table as Sooman took another sip of his drink.

"Jeno, step out for a moment," Sooman said suddenly.

Jeno hesitated, glancing between them.

"Why?"

Sooman gave him a look. "Did I stutter?"

Jeno exhaled, muttering something under his breath as he pushed himself up from the chair. His cigarette burned low, the last ember glowing faintly before he dropped it into the ashtray.

As he passed Jaehyun, his voice was low.

"Try not to embarrass yourself, hyung."

Jaehyun didn’t move. Didn’t react.

Just stared at the smoke curling from Jeno’s abandoned cigarette.

The last piece of warmth fading into nothing.

The door shut behind him.

And Jaehyun finally looked up.

Sooman’s eyes were already on him, unreadable.

"Now," he said, his tone almost amused. "Let’s talk."

Jaehyun didn’t sit.

The chair across from Sooman was empty, waiting, but he stayed standing. His fists curled at his sides, jaw clenched tight enough to ache.

Jeno was gone. Sooman had sent him out like a child dismissed from the dinner table.

But Jaehyun knew better.

That hadn’t been dismissal. That had been claiming.

And now, Sooman was watching him, like he always did—calm, amused, dangerous.

Sooman sighed, motioning lazily to the chair. "I’m not gonna bite. Sit."

Jaehyun sat.

Not because he wanted to. But because this was how it worked. You didn’t refuse Sooman.

"You seemed tense earlier," Sooman mused, swirling the amber liquid in his glass. "Something bothering you?"

Jaehyun knew the game.

This wasn’t concern. This was a test.

"No."

Sooman hummed, unconvinced. "Good. Because I need your head in the right place."

The words sat heavy in the space between them.

Jaehyun knew what this was about. The exchange. The weapons deal. The reason he was still in this life.

"I assume you’re ready."

Jaehyun’s jaw tightened. "I’ll be there."

"That’s not what I asked."

Jaehyun finally looked up. Sooman was watching him carefully, dark eyes sharp with something unreadable.

"I don’t like surprises, Jaehyun. I need to know that when the time comes, you’re not going to hesitate."

Jaehyun held his gaze. Didn’t blink.

"I won’t."

For a moment, silence.

Then, Sooman smiled.

Not a kind smile. Not approval.

Something colder. Sharper.

"That’s what I like about you," he murmured. "You understand how things work."

Jaehyun didn’t respond.

He wasn’t sure if it was a compliment or a warning.

Sooman leaned back in his chair, setting his glass down with a soft clink.

"Jeno’s got that same drive, you know."

Jaehyun’s stomach twisted.

He should have known. Of course this was about Jeno.

"Smart kid," Sooman continued, like this was just a casual conversation. "Quick on his feet. Knows how to read a room. You should be proud of him."

Jaehyun forced himself to stay still.

"He’s not ready for this."

Sooman tilted his head. "Neither were you."

The words hit like a hammer to the chest.

"But you adapted."

Jaehyun’s grip tightened on his knee.

"You think I don’t see it?" Sooman’s voice was almost amused now. "The way you tense up every time his name comes up? The way you look at him like he’s a little kid, while he’s sitting at the same table as you?"

Jaehyun didn’t respond.

Because Sooman was right.

"You spent all these years trying to protect him," Sooman mused, lifting his drink. "And yet, here he is."

Jaehyun swallowed. His father’s voice whispered once again replaying the same words in the back of his mind.

"He’s lucky to have you, you know? He’ll look up to you one day. Just make sure he has something worth looking up to."

But Jeno didn’t look up to him anymore.

Jeno was looking up at Sooman.

"You should be proud," Sooman said again, softer this time. "He’s one of us now."

Jaehyun’s fingers dug into his jeans.

"Jeno’s got a future here."

Jaehyun’s throat tightened. The final nail in the coffin.

Because there was no future outside of this.

Not for him. And now, not for Jeno.

Sooman leaned forward slightly, voice dropping lower. "And you, Jaehyun… you wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize your brother’s future, would you?"

Jaehyun’s pulse thundered in his ears.

It wasn’t a question.

It was a threat.

"No." His voice came out flat. Lifeless.

Sooman smirked. "That’s what I thought."

Jaehyun felt sick.

Sooman picked up his glass again, taking a slow sip before speaking again—this time, more casual.

"You’ve been a bit of a topic lately, you know."

Jaehyun forced himself to look up.

"People talk," Sooman continued, swirling the whiskey in his hand. "They notice things. Like who you spend your time with."

Jaehyun’s spine stiffened.

Sooman was watching him too closely now, like he was waiting to see if Jaehyun would flinch.

"It’s nothing to worry about," he murmured, voice smooth. "I just think it’s best if you keep a little… distance."

Jaehyun’s grip tightened.

"You understand why, don’t you?"

There it was.

The real reason for this conversation.

The exchange was just an obligation. Jeno was already claimed.

But (Y/N)?

She was a problem.

Sooman wasn’t threatening her. Not directly. Not yet.

But he didn’t have to.

Jaehyun knew what happened to people who became liabilities.

"I don’t need distractions on my team," Sooman added, taking another sip of his drink. "And you don’t need them either."

Jaehyun exhaled slowly.

"I understand."

"Good."

Sooman leaned back, looking satisfied.

"That’ll be all, then."

Jaehyun hesitated. Just for a second.

"Jeno…" His voice barely sounded like his own. "He’s still young. You don’t have to rush him into this."

Sooman studied him.

Then, he smiled.

"Your father said the same thing about you once."

Jaehyun didn’t move. Didn’t breathe.

Sooman reached for his lighter, flicking it open. The flame danced in the dim light, flickering gold against his expression.

"Look at you now."

Silence.

The night was too quiet.

The kind that wraps around your chest and sinks its claws in deep.

The city was always loud—always alive with the hum of neon lights, the distant echoes of tires screeching, the faint murmur of conversations in alleyways. But tonight?

Tonight, there was nothing.

That was the first sign.

(Y/N) had been texting Daeho for hours. No response. She had tried calling, too—straight to voicemail. That was the second sign.

Daeho had been dodging her all day, but that wasn’t unusual. He was good at running. Good at pretending everything was fine until it wasn’t.

But this time, something was off.

She didn’t know how to explain it—just a gnawing, stomach-turning sense of dread creeping up her spine.

Something was wrong.

(Y/N) sat in her parked car, phone pressed to her ear, waiting. Listening. But there was no answer.

Again.

Her screen dimmed, the contact name DAEHO staring back at her, the last messages left unread.

9:57 PM – Where are you? Ur mom have been calling me all day asking about you… 9:59 PM – I know your parents are away and you hate that, but at least answer their calls.10:20 PM – Daeho, pick up your damn phone.10:45 PM – I swear, if you’re doing something stupid again—

The typing bubble had appeared for a second. Just one. Then it vanished.

Her fingers curled around the phone, pressing redial.

Ring.

Voicemail.

Her heartbeat stuttered.

Daeho was reckless. Self-destructive. A disaster waiting to happen. But he always picked up. Even if it was to curse her out for nagging..

Something wasn’t right.

With Daeho being in a vulnerable state everytime his parents were away off the city, (Y/N) didn’t want to think the worst… but it was impossible, because when her stomach twisted, she didn’t hesitate the slightest– she just drove.

Lots of memories filled her mind as she drove her cars with her legs trembling — her family lake house held her most precious childhood moments with Daeho and she knew it held the same feeling to him. That’s why when she knew his cousin wasn't anywhere near the city… she found herself driving to that place.

Which it didn’t quite set well for her.

As she drove, her hands trembling on the wheel, memories of childhood flooded her mind. The family lake house, the place where so much of her life had unfolded alongside Daeho. The laughter, the secrets, the comfort of familiarity. She knew the house like the back of her hand, knew the way it felt to step through its doors.

It was a place of safety. Of home.

But tonight, as she turned onto the road leading there, it felt wrong. The air felt thick, heavy with something dark, something ominous.

The moment she pulled into the driveway, her chest tightened. She didn’t even need to step inside to know something was wrong.

The air outside was thick with an unspoken warning, thick like smoke, clinging to her skin.

Her legs carried her to the stairs almost of their own volition, her heart pounding in her ears, but her feet felt leaden, as if each step was harder than the last.

The door stood ajar. Not wide open, but just enough to leave room for doubt.

A voice inside her screamed to turn around. To leave. To get out.

She knew– She knew even before she even stepped inside.

The air was too thick, the kind of silence that wrapped around your ribs and squeezed.

And then—

Her breath hitched.

Daeho.

Her breath caught, and for a moment, time seemed to stop. He was lying there, motionless, his body sprawled on the floor in a way that didn’t seem natural. Still.

Too still.

It took a beat for her brain to catch up with what she was seeing, her mind desperately trying to reject the image in front of her.

But her body was already moving.

"Daeho!"

She was at his side in a heartbeat, dropping to her knees, hands shaking as she gripped his shoulders, her voice raw as she begged, "Wake up. Please. Wake up."

Nothing.

His skin was clammy, his breathing ragged, eyelids fluttering but not opening.

His skin was cold, clammy, his chest rising and falling with labored breaths that were too ragged. His eyes fluttered but didn’t open.

A wheezing breath rasped out of him, the sound like a death rattle in the stillness.

Shallow. Wrong.

Panic surged through her veins, hot and violent, swallowing her whole.

"No, no, no, no—Daeho, wake up! Please—"

Her fingers scrambled against his pulse point.

Faint. Too faint.

She gasped, barely managing to grab her phone. Her hands wouldn’t stop shaking.

Ring.

"911, what’s your emergency?"

Her voice was unrecognizable—broken, panicked, fragile. "It’s my cousin, he’s—he’s not waking up. I think he overdosed. I don’t know what he took, but—he’s barely breathing—please, you have to send someone—"

Her words were tumbling out of her mouth, fractured and disconnected, her focus wavering between the dispatcher’s voice and Daeho’s still, too-still form.

Nothing. No movement.

Her hand shook as she pressed it against his clammy face, trying to force his eyes open.

Daeho wasn’t moving.

He wasn’t fighting her anymore.

Her free hand reached up, gripping his face, trying to force his eyes open.

"Daeho, listen to me—stay with me, okay? Help is coming. Just—just hold on."

Her voice cracked.

"You hear me? Just stay awake."

He didn’t respond.

Didn’t even twitch.

Tears blurred her vision, hot and stinging. She didn’t even realize she was crying.

She needed to call someone else. Someone who would come.

Her heart pounded in her chest, erratic, like a trapped bird trying to escape its cage. The phone trembled in her hand as she dialed his number, each passing second feeling like it stretched into infinity. She could barely breathe through the panic that twisted in her gut, the air around her growing thin, almost suffocating. Her thoughts were jumbled, a whirlwind of fear and desperation.

"Pick up, please, just pick up," she whispered, her lips barely moving.

The phone rang again. Once. Twice. The third time, her breath hitched.

"Please, please, Jae” Her voice cracked, a soft, broken plea that carried more weight than she could bear.

And then, just as her panic reached its peak, his voice cut through the chaos. Low. Sleepy at first, like he’d been woken from a dream.

"Angel?"

Hearing him, hearing that voice—so familiar, so warm—was like a thread of sanity pulling her back, just for a moment. But it wasn’t enough to stop the tidal wave of fear crashing through her.

"Daeho... Daeho’s not waking up. He’s not moving." Her words were disjointed, stumbling over themselves as she fought to keep her composure, but it was slipping through her fingers like sand. She could hear the desperate edge in her own voice—the pleading that she couldn’t stop, no matter how hard she tried.

"I don’t know what he took, Jaehyun. He’s barely breathing… please, you have to come, you have to help him!"

Her hand shook violently, gripping the phone so tightly her knuckles turned white. The words felt like they were being ripped from her throat, each one harder to get out than the last. She could hear the hollow sound of her own voice, breaking with the weight of everything she couldn’t control.

Jaehyun was silent for a moment, his breath slow and steady, as though he was trying to process what she was saying. He couldn’t help the flicker of hesitation that passed through him. It was the first time they had spoken in days, the first time since their fight. That distance, that anger—they were still there, lingering between them like a heavy fog.

But it didn’t matter. Not now.

"Where are you?" His voice was sharper now, like a switch had been flipped. Cold, direct. He had no time for awkwardness or old wounds.

His pulse hammered in his chest as he gripped the steering wheel of his car, already on the move. He wasn’t sure if he was moving because of the urgency of the situation or because hearing her voice—desperate, broken—was too much to ignore.

"I’m at the lake house, Jaehyun. He’s... he’s not moving, he’s not—"

She couldn’t finish the sentence. The words felt too much to say aloud, too real. Too final.

Jaehyun’s jaw clenched, the weight of the moment sinking in. This wasn’t the time for past arguments, for bitterness. For a second, he wanted to scream at her for the way things had ended between them, for how they had left things unresolved. But her words—her panic—had him pressing down harder on the accelerator.

"Stay with me, okay?" Jaehyun’s voice softened for just a moment, before the tension rose again, thick and strong. He couldn’t afford to show weakness, not when she needed him. "You’re not alone, (Y/N). Breathe, just breathe."

He could feel the tightness in his chest, the sharp pang of regret as he remembered their last conversation—the one where they both said things they didn’t mean. The one where silence had stretched for days. But that didn’t matter now.

Just her. Just Daeho.

"Just focus on breathing for me," he said, trying to keep her grounded, even as his own hands trembled. His voice was steady, but the fear was there—beneath it all, in the spaces between his words.

"Just stay with him. Help’s on the way," he urged, his mind spinning with the worst-case scenario, but he couldn’t let it show.

But (Y/N) wasn’t responding. She was breathing faster now, her panicked gasps cutting through the silence between them. It wasn’t enough to reassure him, to calm him down.

"I’m almost there, just hold on." His words were desperate, cracked at the edges, as though he couldn’t quite believe them himself.

His hands gripped the wheel tighter, knuckles white. He was already second-guessing every move he made, replaying the moments before the fight, wondering where it all went wrong between them. But there was no room for that now.

"Stay strong, (Y/N). I’m coming," Jaehyun whispered, almost to himself. He couldn’t leave her alone—not now, not when she was falling apart. He had to be there.

Her sobs were muffled now, and his heart broke at the sound. The cracks in her voice were unmistakable, and it drove a wedge deeper between them—familiar, but painful.

"I swear, (Y/N), just hold on." Jaehyun’s words, softer now, cracked under the weight of what they both had yet to face.

He should have seen this coming. Of course it was Daeho.

The kid had been on a collision course for months. Jaehyun had watched it happen—hadn’t stopped it.

By the time he arrived, the ambulance was already there.

Red and blue lights pulsed in the dark, sirens slicing through the night like a warning too late.

Jaehyun stopped mid-step.

Daeho was being wheeled out on a stretcher.

And he looked—

Gone.

For one horrifying second, Jaehyun thought it was too late.

Then, a flicker of movement—fingers twitching.

Still alive. Barely.

(Y/N) climbed into the ambulance with him.

Jaehyun didn’t.

He just stood there, watching the doors shut.

Jaehyun found (Y/N) in the waiting area, curled up in one of the plastic chairs, looking smaller than he’d ever seen her.

But before he could speak—

Jaehyun barely had time to register the shift in the air before (Y/N)’s mother was upon him.

Her presence was suffocating, like an icy gust cutting through the sterile hospital lights. The faint hum of the fluorescent lights above seemed to only heighten the intensity of her stare—sharp, unforgiving, a laser focus locked onto him as if she were seeing nothing but the embodiment of everything that had gone wrong.

"You."

Her voice rang out, filled with so much venom it made the air crackle with it.

She stormed toward him, her heels striking the floor with heavy, purposeful steps, her entire body coiled with an intensity he hadn’t seen before. Jaehyun didn’t flinch, but it took everything in him not to. She reached him in seconds, the scent of expensive perfume mingling with the sterile hospital air, and before he could even brace himself, her hand collided with his chest. The impact pushed him back a step, the force behind it surprising for someone so refined.

Her fingers dug into his shirt, her eyes cold as ice, her voice cutting through the space between them like a blade. "This is your fault."

Each word hit him like a physical blow, but it wasn’t just the blame in her tone that stung. It was the weight of it—the certainty, the finality of the accusation. She wasn’t just blaming him for Daeho’s condition. She was blaming him for the decay she saw in her family, the damage he had brought into their perfect, orderly life.

"You ruined everything," she spat, her voice trembling with barely contained fury. "You, with your dirty past, your gang... You think you can just waltz into my daughter’s life, drag her down into this mess, and there are no consequences?"

Jaehyun’s heart pounded in his chest, the words sinking in like poison. He had expected some anger, some condemnation, but hearing it in her voice—the disgust, the judgment—felt like he was being stripped of every last scrap of dignity.

"You came from nothing," she went on, her face twisted in a mixture of disdain and sorrow. "And now, my daughter is tangled up with you. With your filthy, violent world. You’ve turned everything upside down, and for what? She has a future! and you know who also has a future? Daeho! but now my nephew’s life is hanging by a thread, all because you people… all of the Neo Zone people do is ruin other people's lives…I knew you were gonna be a problem the night I saw you with my daughter.”

Jaehyun didn’t speak. He couldn’t. What could he say? She wasn’t wrong. Deep down, he knew the weight of the destruction he’d caused—the violence, the danger he had brought into her life, into her family’s life. But hearing it so plainly, so directly from her mouth... It was suffocating.

Her mother laughed bitterly, shaking her head. "You’re a joke. She’s a pawn in your world now, and don’t you dare try to make me believe otherwise."

Her words were venomous, cutting deep into his soul, ripping away the thin threads of self-worth he had clung to. He wasn’t just a disappointment to her. To her, he was a symbol of everything that could tarnish her family’s reputation—everything that had the potential to tear them apart.

(Y/N) moved to step in, her hand outstretched as if to intervene, but her mother’s cold gaze stopped her in her tracks. "No," she said sharply, her voice filled with finality. "Not this time."

Turning back to Jaehyun, her expression softened only slightly—enough for the raw, trembling hurt in her eyes to seep through. "You’ve done enough. You’ve broken my family. You people have broken him."

Jaehyun swallowed hard, but there was nothing he could say.

(Y/N)’s mother gave him one last, hateful look before she turned away, dismissing him without a second thought.

As her mother walked away, Jaehyun stood there, the weight of her words pressing down on him, suffocating him in the silence that followed. His hands were shaking. His mind was reeling. He had known the consequences of his life, but hearing her accuse him, hearing the complete destruction in her voice... that was something he hadn’t prepared for.

He stood there for a long moment, unsure of how to move, unsure of what to do next.

With one last glance toward (Y/N), he turned, walking away without a word, each step feeling like the final severing of a bond he hadn’t even known was important until it was already too late.

His father once told him that life was about the choices you made. But standing there, staring at the cold hospital doors, Jaehyun realized—maybe he had already made his choice.

a/n: NOT PROOFEAD! i would really love if you could gave sum feedback!(specially since english is not my first language, so it makes it a little harder to write).

taglist is open! if you want to be added just lemme know;)

taglist: @spicyryujin @daegalismybiasinnct @peachfulnight @gojoscumslut @bluedbliss @dear-97 @girlwholovespreppyattire @hana-off-icial @cigarettesafterjae @bts-iris @dojaejung @methneo @kriizztin @mrsuhnshine @pieddpiperr @completelyjae @daegalismybiasinnct @kanekisheart (idk why some of the tags just don’t work out!)

Feel free to send any asks here if you want!

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munchmemes · 10 months ago

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chappell roan lyrics, the rise and fall of a midwest princess edition ( + bonus 'good luck, babe!' for reasons )

▸ same old story, time again. got so close but then you lost it. ▸ i'm so sick of online love. ▸ um, can you play a song with a fucking beat? ▸ you're lying to your friends about how [they're] such a goddamn good lover. ▸ you got what you wanted so stop feeling sorry. ▸ you know what i mean and you know what you need. and so do they! but does it happen? no! ▸ you showed me things i didn't know. ▸ i just want you to make a move. so, slow down, sit down, it's new. ▸ i just wanna get to know ya. guess i didn't quite think it through. ▸ i fell in love with the thought of you. ▸ baby, why don't you come over? ▸ i like what you like. ▸ want me to fuck you? baby, i will 'cause i really want to. ▸ well, back at my house i got a california king. okay, maybe it's a twin bed and some roommates. ▸ let's make this bed get squeaky. ▸ my mama said nothing good happens when it's late and you're dancing alone. ▸ this is what i wanted, this is what i like. ▸ i kinda wanna kiss your [girl/boy]friend if you don't mind. ▸ i love a little drama, let's start a bar fight. ▸ everything good happens after midnight. ▸ i really want your hands on my body. ▸ that's my type of fun, that's my kind of party. ▸ i'll meet you for coffee 'cause if we have wine, you'll say that you want me and i know that's a lie. ▸ if i didn't love you, it would be fine. ▸ every place leads back to your place. ▸ i'd rather feel something than nothing at all so ... ▸ we've done this before and i don't need it anymore. ▸ it's never just coffee. ▸ i've heard so many rumors. that i'm just a [girl] that you bang on your couch. ▸ i thought you thought of me better. someone you couldn't lose. ▸ is it casual now? ▸ it's hard being casual. ▸ i try to be the chill [girl] but honestly i'm not. ▸ i hate that i let this drag on so long, now i hate myself. ▸ you know what they say: never waste a friday night one a first date. ▸ not overdramatic, i know what i want.

▸ we're hot, we're drunk. ▸ at every party, we're the party. ▸ get up off your feet, get up on that bar. ▸ i could be the one or your new addiction. ▸ call me hot, not pretty. ▸ i try not to care but it hurts my feelings. ▸ who knew that we'd let it get this bad when it ended? ▸ i heard it from [NAME], you're losing it lately. ▸ people say i'm jealous but my kink is watching you ruining your life. ▸ people say i'm jealous but my kink is karma. ▸ wishing you the best, in the worst way. ▸ it's hot when you're going through hell and you're hating yourself, i'm feeling myself. ▸ do you picture me like i picture you? ▸ i'm too scared to say half of the things i do when i picture you. ▸ i guess we could pretend we didn't cross a line. ▸ if you really wanna leave, i'll never make you stay. ▸ whatever you decide, i will understand. ▸ love is a kaleidoscope. how it works we'll never know. ▸ i know you wanted me to stay but i can't ignore the crazy visions. ▸ i'm having wicked dreams. ▸ every night's another reason why i left it all. ▸ don't think i've left you all behind. i still love you and you're always on my mind. ▸ god, what have you done? ▸ i'm gonna keep on dancing. ▸ i'd love if you knew you were on my mind constant like cicadas in the summertime. ▸ we could go to hell but we'll probably be fine. ▸ we're an inch away from more than just friends. ▸ won't you fucking touch me? ▸ if it hasn't happened yet then maybe you should go. ▸ to think i almost had it going but i let you down. ▸ too hard to find reasons to stay. even true love could not persuade. ▸ come get me out. ▸ sometimes i scare myself but i can't help what i can't help. ▸ i fantasize what we would do. ▸ some good girls do bad things too. ▸ i wants this like a cigarette. can we drag it out and never quit? ▸ oh my god, you are heaven-sent. ▸ you can say that we are nothing but you know the truth. ▸ guess i'm the fool. ▸ i don't wanna call it off but you don't wanna call it love. ▸ good luck, babe! ▸ you'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling. ▸ i'm cliche, who cares? ▸ when you wake up next to him in the middle of the night with your head in your hands, you're nothing more than his wife. ▸ you know i hate to say it, i told you so.

#rp meme #rp starters #lyrics rp starters #sentence starters #lyrics starters #roleplay meme #lyrics rp meme #lyrics meme #ask meme #chappell roan lyrics rp starters #chappell roan lyrics rp meme

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stuckonmark · 3 months ago

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accidents. mark lee

07. the big back duo makes a comeback

going out with jeno felt just like how y'all used to when y'all were younger. jeno was your best friend in high school. y'all would hang out constantly. always studying together or causing chaos during lunch. even though y'all hadn't seen each other in so long, you knew that y'all would be able to click again immediately.

"so why'd you wanna meet up? it was kinda out of nowhere." you asked, as you took a sip of your water.

jeno scratched the back of his head and couldn't look in your eyes. "i just missed you. we haven't seen each other in awhile. i didn't want to lose our friendship." he finally met your eyes and did that charming smile that he always does.

"ewww, why are you being so sappyyy." you groaned, while covering your face with your hands. jeno grabs your hands and lifts your head up. "cut the crap, jeno. this is so weird. what's really going on."

"what? i can't want to catch up with an old friend? i just wanna know what's going on with you. i heard you were staying with jaehyun at his apartment and rooming with mark."

you were in the middle of taking a bite of your food before you let out a loud groan. "ugh, don't get me started on that." you wiped your mouth with your napkin.

"why, what's so wrong with it?" jeno asked, scooting closer to the edge of his seat.

"well, why would i want to share a room with the guy that literally injured me before i could even start my volleyball career. he just keeps doing too much and it's annoying." you huffed, as you leaned back in your seat and crossed your arms.

"has it ever occurred to you that maybe he feels guilty? look, i know the guy and i know his persona is very 'fuck-boy' vibes, but he's not a horrible person. he really just wants things to be peaceful between you too."

you scoffed and rolled your eyes. "jeno, i did not come here to listen to you tell me that mark lee is ACTUALLY a good person. i don't want to be here if this is all i'm going to be listening to." you were getting ready to get your stuff before jeno stopped you.

"yn, listen. i understand that you don't trust people easily, i know. just hear me out and give him a chance. i'm not telling you to be best friends with him. i'm just saying he's really not a bad guy to be around."

"you know why i don't trust people, jeno. you out of all people should know." you glared and pushed his hand off you. the topic was really sensitive to you. you hated talking about it. you felt your body tense up and felt heat spreading everywhere inside of you.

"i'm sorry, okay. you guys are both of my friends and i just want peace between y'all. you know i wouldn't be saying all of this if mark was a bad person."

"i know. i'm sorry too. i've just worked so hard and he took that away from me." you mumbled into jeno's shoulder, before pulling away to look up at him.

"just give it some thought. you're okay. everything is okay."

previous — m.list — next

notes. another fast update! i was feeling a little excited, so yay! also jeno and yn’s friendship 🙌

taglist. open! @mmjhh1998 @haluenx @urlocalbeaner5 @cloudmrk @dudekiss3r @iluv7tn @jae-n0 @kikookii @remgeolli @lyleo @wumutititititi @kittydollzz @nctdreamchaser

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thousandyearphantombunker · 11 months ago

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The Owl House Critical Post, scroll away now I don't know if I am being too harsh in this post but I wrote it anyway so if you don't wanna read something potentially upsetting this is a warning (to those who decide to read please tell me if I'm being too harsh)

I remember initially hating how the show handled its villains, they all felt like jokes, they never felt like threats or like they provided a meaningful challenges for the main cast, they never had any real depth or complexity. but i bit my tongue, I was told that I was basically a dumbass for complaining that Bump openly breaks a law that's supposed to be punishable by death so that Luz could fulfill her witchy fantasy and that he wasn't arrested. the show could've had him make the multiclass student thing be something underground- boom it lets luz live out her fantasy but doesn't ignore what was established about the setting and creates potential stakes if these underground classes ever got discovered! That already made me angry but the cult thing is what I wanted to complain about- i only had basic ass knowledge about cults and TOH fails at portraying that crap, most people in the EC can just quit and do so in a way that makes it feel like they're just quitting a job, it doesn't feel like they fear losing their friends or sense belonging and community, they don't feel like they're anything but jokes. Leaving a cult is scary, often times cults will send their followers into the real world and set them up to have bad experiences so they'll come running back, they'll hire thugs to scare them into staying or position them in away so that they suffer (sending them out without money or the skills to survive), they humiliate those who begin to ask questions so that they stay in line. guilt tripping, putting members against each other, cutting off contact with the rest of the world! The show only adds the whole 'forced to fight on a mountain' thing for flavor! Everytime it brings up actual stuff cults do it feels like it's more for flavor than actually writing this topic with sensitivity- look at how they treat Lilith! Imo It feels like the show insulting people for ever trusting belos, treating them like they're braindead and could've just realized fairly easily that he was evil. It's the most egregious with hunter who was basically fucking born into the EC. the show is also pretty black and white, which is curious for a show that gets praise for its portrayal of religious trauma. You think the show would be more grey. I did deeper research into cults and just got SO tired of people talking about how good the show was at conveying such a heavy topic. The titan reveal also doesn't help- Luz is told by an all powerful deity that she is the chosen one basically and is told that old man is evil and needs to go down- isn't that the same justification that belos uses for his actions- not saying belos should've gotten redemption or forgiveness but this feels wrong. He deserved to die don't get me wrong but using this justification feels gross. What's even worse is that the titan made Philip's life harder on purpose- ah yeah that brainwashed cult victim would totally change his mind especially if you make his life harder- yeah I would've preferred if belos was depicted in a flashback just having a bad time on the boiling isles and cherry picked those bad experiences to justify his actions. Also I hate that the show just writes belos off as greedy and glory seeking when it could've conveyed a message about how people can get absolutely get warped by religious dogma. I do wonder though if I'm being too harsh because TOH is for kids and I was told it would be hard to portray this stuff in a way kids could understand. I can come up with ways to make the breaking the law openly thing less egregious but I am struggling to think of ways the show could have handled the cult thing, I am aware that maybe I'm accidentally saying stuff that is kind of bad faith but this is my truth. I feel like TOH wasn't good at villains and it sure as hell didn't write cults well

#toh salt #toh critical #lilith clawthorne #hunter toh #emperor belos

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haveihitanerve · 6 months ago

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Okay so theres quite a bit of Batcest hate out in the world- and I do have to admit, I view the Bats as family too, which is why I can understand, but there are certain ships that i understand, after all most of them are not related biologically at all, and are under no obligation to each other to be so, bruce literally says in one comic "Whether or not they're brothers is no matter, they're both my sons" or smth along those lines, pretty much his children may all be his children but that in no way has to make them siblings anyway im getting away from myself here, a list of batcest shippings i understand and my reasoning for why people might ship them together, if you don't wanna, don't read any further🙃

Bruce/Dick: Brudick is an old ship, actually, originally they were created as a gay couple, not openly, but heavily implied, and a way for people back in the day to "legally get married" was through adoption... Anyway I like BruDick when I see it because it just works Dick understands Bruce in a way no one else ever will, he was the first one, the original, his grief and experience mirrors Bruce's in a way that makes them so similar and yet so different, he is the light at the end of Bruce's tunnel, and theres just so much that can be written about them, angsty or fluffy, whether romantic or platonic

Jason/Tim: this one I also understand, to an extent, Tim needs someone who cares for him, Jason needs someone who understands him, Tim looked up to Jason, not as much as Dick but enough, he wants Jason to come back into the family, wants Jason and Bruce to forgive each other, he sees the good in Jason when no one else does, hes stubborn in his desire to mend their relationship- Jason on the other hand once he stops trying to kill Tim actually genuinely cares for him in a way he doesn't for anyone else in the Batfam, appreciates Tim's knowledge and perspective and I do believe, I honestly am not too sure on this, but he works with Tim first before anyone else??? i'm probs wrong on that one but I think... anyway I do like their pairing- it gives a nice contrast and they usually tend to love each other wholeheartedly, almost obsessively in the fics i read, which they kinda deserve, someone who loves them so much

Bruce/Jason: this one I get, but only after the pit. They're two sides of the same coin, Jason is only more willing to go for the final step and Bruce isn't, theres just so much of their morals that collide and snap, this honestly could just be a fic/pairing i like because of the angry smut and all, but yeah i like them, I feel like romance between them would make it easier for Bruce to get his point across about why he can't murder and why its wrong, and also vice versa

Dick/Jason: the two oldest, the ones who dealt with Bruce's shit the longest. Idk but something about them, they had almost personality flips, Jason was the happy go lucky one, then he went pit mad and now hes angry and snaps and Dick was the angry one hell bent on vengeance and now he's smiling and happy and trying to keep the fam together and all that, idk jason would let dick be angry again if they're a couple and let him release all the pent up anger/repressed inside and Dick would cool Jason's anger, bring back the joy in him, etc etc

Bruce/Tim: this one I'm still a lil on the fence about, I like it because it offers another side of Bruce and Tim's relationship, and it adds another way for Bruce to show he does actually care and appreciate and love tim and wants him in his life, and its another way for tim to soothe Bruce and bring him back from the edge and etc etc... don't have too much to add bc again im on the fence but yeah

so those are all that i got for now, yeah hope that maybe explained things better, probably just made things more confusing but i just had to get it out at one point :p overall i steer away from batcest in my fics and dont like to use it like that, theyre family, brothers sisters, parents in my heart, but sometimes theres just scenarios where they fit better as romantic partners... anyway thats all

#batfam #batman #batman and robin #batcest #jaytim #brudick #brutim #dickjay

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daenysx · 10 months ago

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hi! i’m pretty new to your blog but i’m really loving your content! you’re a fantastic writer. if it’s okay i’d like to request something for james x reader, where r is going through a friendship breakup and james is comforting her? i completely understand if you don’t want to write this, regardless i’ll continue to enjoy your content! have a great day/night 💗

hi, angel, thank you so much for being so kind! i hope you enjoy ♡ requests are open

james potter x fem!reader, modern au

"come on." you scoff, looking at your phone and feeling sick to your stomach. james lifts his head from his laptop to see what you're doing. you put the phone on couch a bit harshly, crossing your arms defensively.

"angel?" he asks.

"yeah, jamie?"

"everything alright?" he puts his laptop on the coffee table to go by your side. you turn your head, feeling a hot teardrop roll on your cheek.

"she doesn't even care about what i say." you start. james knows exactly who you're talking about. "i'm trying to talk about how i feel and she- it's nothing to her, apparently."

"what did she say?" james asks, he rubs a generous hand on your arm.

"she just- she says she's sorry and she'll fix it, but she said all those things 2 months ago! just- you need to do something for someone if you promise them but she keeps forgetting and she never explains anything."

you're getting more upset each second. this is a person who you spent your days with before, someone close enough to share secrets. something happened two months ago, something you can't even properly remember now, and she hurt you. she never realized how distanced you've been and when you told her, she promised she'll fix it. two fucking months ago. she did nothing.

"am i doing wrong?" you ask james. "is it wrong to be angry?"

"no." he says. "it's not wrong if you feel like it. you don't wanna let go of her so easy but- i guess she doesn't try like you do."

the truth hurts so badly. you hate losing friendships, strangers turning into loved ones, losing them makes you feel like losing a part of your memories. what can you do? you're feeling too proud, too unforgiving. you don't want to be a bad person.

"i just don't know why she keeps giving up on me." you say, quietly. tears turn into hushed breaths. "am i so easily forgettable?"

"no." james takes you in his arms. "baby, of course not. it's not your fault if you believe you try hard enough to save your friendship. maybe it's not anyone's fault. sometimes things don't work out."

you put your head on james's shoulder. "i thought we were closer than this." you say, sadly. "maybe i was wrong."

james rubs your back until you relax on him. your phone is forgotten, you won't send any more texts tonight. it already hurts enough, but you gotta get through it.

"i'm sorry." he says, a quiet sound comes out of his lips as he kisses your head. "i'm sorry it's hurting, baby. you'll be okay."

maybe you should just leave this as a good relationship that is over now. there's no need to try to save something if it's already lost. you've gone through this before, you can do it again. you think your anger for the situation will make you forget about things quicker. you won't hold any grudges.

"i don't wanna be friends with someone who treats me like this." you say, sharply. "i didn't do anything to deserve it."

james kisses your hair again. "i'm not blaming her." you say, after a second. "it's not anyone's fault at this point but- i won't try anymore. she can do anything she wants, i guess."

not getting a closure hurts a bit, but you'll survive. james likes how you perceive the situation from both sides, you don't see yourself as the only person who's right, you still have respect and love for your old friend. your head stays tucked on his neck nicely, he rubs your now dried cheeks with cool fingers.

when you look at james with expectant eyes, he nods. it's good to see him agreeing with you, you know he'd tell you if you were making an irrational decision out of anger. you kiss his cheek and he carries you to his side of the couch.

you don't look at your phone again that night. james figures out you like watching sitcoms when you're upset. you fall asleep to the background sound of the office, your head on james's chest and his hand on your lower back.

#james potter #james potter x fem!reader #james potter x reader #james potter x you #james potter fic #james potter fanfic #james potter fanfiction #james potter imagine #james x you #james x reader #james x fem!reader #marauders #marauders era #marauders fic #marauders fanfic #marauders fanfiction #marauders imagine

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lemonmaid · 1 year ago

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Also for some reason I cannot edit on the app? Nor on the website, so please work with me here, sorry about the confusing layout, I know I hate it too.

“I don't need you hovering”.

(name) glared at Xiao, who was literally watching (Name) as a hawk as he tried to feed their four year old pup.

“Ah!!”

(Name) resumed his attention onto Yuen, who was glaring at the two for interrupting his feeding, “Oh I know buddy, Dada can be so mean”.

“He is four, I think he can feed himself”.

(Name) rolled his eyes, “I'm still cutting up his food for him, he could literally-”.

“Let me do it”. Xiao gently moves (Name) over to cut up Yuen's food.

(Name) silently seething; his scent souring,”I'm pregnant not incapable” he mumbles.

(Name) was only six months pregnant, not too far into his pregnancy but not too far away from giving birth. Did he appreciate Xiao's helpfulness? Of course, some omegas would be delighted to have a mate so helpful and understanding as Xiao. Xiao was very experienced in the field, having a pup, Yuen, before meeting (Name) with a one night stand.

(Name) excuses himself from the room to finish getting ready for the day. Looking at the bathroom mirror, his stomach barely dropped, perks of being a male omega.

“You should be getting bigger soon”.

(Name)’s eye twitched, “Wow… Thanks”.

Was Xiao a great mate? Of course! (Name) couldn't be happier, but it's Xiaos overbearing that got (Name), it's ‘You're doing that wrong’, ‘no let me help’, ‘you shouldn't pick up Yuen’. It was very exhausting.

Xiao was dressed in his work clothing holding Yuen who was ready for school, hence the yellow bucket hat and blue school uniform. “Yuen say bye to Papa”.

“Bye-bye!!” Yuen does the kiss motion towards (Name).

“Are you going to be okay going to University today? I don't want you walking that far-”

“Again, pregnant, not broken, anyways I was going to pick up groceries after class”. (Name) gave the two a quick hug and the two goodbye.

“And then he tells me “yoU ShOUld bE geTTinG biGGeR sOOn” like fuck off please, I understand that he is trying to help but, it's overwhelming! I can do things by myself! I'm a big boy!”. (Name) ran to his father-in-Law, Zhongli, who was his Political Science professor.

(Name) usually got to school early to help Zhongli set up the classroom, but that was both of their excuse to gossip.

Zhongli watched the younger omega scrub the chalkboard harshly, putting his hand gently on the younger male’s shoulder, “Maybe see it from his perspective… when Xiao was… Expecting, he was alone, besides from me and his step father, think of it as he doesn't want you to feel alone. Also culturally speaking, he the rest of his siblings were raised that a pregnant omega shouldn't be do anything but resting, so this is a change for him as well”.

(Name) snickered at the memories from early into his pregnancy, how Xiao told him not to rub his stomach often or the pup will end up being spoiled or how when he came back from night school, Xiao lit sages around the house.

“Just communicate with him”. Zhongli said with a soft smile on his face.

After class was done for the day the two omegas walked home together.

“Hmmm, what is for dinner tonight (Name)?”.

(Name) hummed, “I've been craving some Tangbao, the big ones, no, bigger”. (Name) drooled at the thought of a hot doughy, chewy, flavor filling bun in his stomach, the thought earned a kick from the pup inside of him.

As the two walked into the shared home space, the aroma of dinner hit their noses.

“Papa!!”

Yuen ran up to (Name) and Zhongli, giving the two a giant hug, or as big his small arms could.

“Hello to you too Yuen, I trust you've been a good boy for your fathers?” Zhongli said as he patted the boy's head.

Yuen nodded his head, grabbing Zhongli’s hand, “come! I wanna show you! My book!”.

(Name) took his shoes off carefully before stepping up stairs to join the family in the living space, (Name) drooled at the thought of dinner.

It wasn't too abnormal for Xiao to be cooking but usually (Name) to cook.

(Name) slouched down into the comfortable recliner in the corner of the room, waiting for dinner, closing his eyes, listening to Yuen speak his mind to his grandfather.

“this is! Uncle… Bo-sac-i-us!”

“That's a very good illustration, young one, who's that right there?”

“That's my new baby sister!”

“Oh, you're sister?”

“Mhm! Papa said he thinks it's a girl and Dada says Papa is always right”.

(Name) smiled fondly.

“Dinner everyone” Xiao spoke softly, taking in (Name)’s tired form.

The table was set up neatly, dinner looked perfect, it was almost like a mutton hot pot.

“Now Yuen, do you want to eat with a fork or your training chopsticks?”.

“I wanna practice!!”.

(Name) looked at the food in awe, but his hormone pregnancy brain nagged at the thought that this wasn't what he wanted, but the food looked so good at the sametime.

“Are you okay (Name)?” Xiao whispered.

(Name) started grabbing greens and beef and putting into his bowl, “I'm- fine”.

Xiao didn't press any further, picking up food and putting it onto Yuens and (Name)’s bowls.

Dinner was calm, well, for everyone else. (Name) was quietly seething, he felt guilty about it though, he didn't mean to feel this way but he can't help it, pregnancy brain.

“Yuen, make sure grandpa sees his way out the door”.

“Yes dada!!”.

(Name) helped collect dishes to put in the sink.

“Are you sure you're okay? Your scent is off”.

(Name) finally quietly broke down, “I wanted Tangbao for dinner, not a hotpot meal, I hate that you do things for me, I hate how I can't go anywhere without you hovering! I'm sorry! I'm just overwhelmed!”.

(Name) quietly sobbed into his mate's chest.

Xiao rubbed (Name)’s back, leading the omega up the stairs to their share bedroom.

“I'll be back, let me finish cleaning and get Yuen to bed”.

Xiao was gone for 40 minutes, giving (Name) time to breathe and calm down. When Xiao came back, he had a small plate of melons and tea with him.

“I'm sorry”.

(Name) took the plate, calming down, “was this the good melon?”.

“The one that's been in the freezer since New Years”.

(Name) hummed, “I forgive you, for now”.

Xiao chuckled, massaging (Name)’s swollen legs, “I mean it. I'm sorry. I wasn't aware of your feelings. That makes me a bad mate”.

(Name) sighed, “You're not a bad mate, you..just… are not emotionally self aware sometimes”.

Xiao nodded, “I'll work on it, I'll do better”

“I appreciate that”.

A small knock on the door interrupted the two. “Papa, can I sleep with you?”.

The two omegas smiled softly, “Yes Yuen, give us a minute to get change. We'll come get you”.

#genshin xiao #xiao x reader #omega xiao #omega reader #omega male reader #genshin impact x reader #gensnin impact x male reader #genshin impact omegaverse #xiao x male reader

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