#i wanna quit my job sb

[ssongsboo]

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❕ : puppy!sion

⟢ 휘청이는 내 정신은 .ᐟ

sion's trembling hands gripped your waist tightly as his hips snapped forward, desperation evident in every motion. his ears twitched uncontrollably, soft whimpers slipping past his lips. his tail, wagging sluggishly at first, thudded against the sheets in rhythm with his movements.

"you're doing so well," you whispered, voice laced with both encouragement and desire as your fingers threaded through his messy hair, scratching behind one of his drooped puppy ears.

his breathing hitched at your praise, his golden eyes hazy as he buried himself deeper. "a-am i really?" he panted, his voice breaking. "am i being a good boy?"

the question was soft, almost timid, but the raw need in his tone sent a shiver down your spine. you cupped his flushed cheek, forcing him to look at you, his pupils blown wide with lust.

"yes, sion," you murmured, your voice soothing and warm. "you're being such a good boy. you're doing so well for me."

the praise seemed to ignite something in him. his thrusts grew rougher, needier, as he chased both your pleasure and his own, desperate to keep hearing those words tumble from your lips.

"please... don't stop saying it," he begged breathlessly, his tongue lolling out slightly as his body pressed you further into the mattress. "i want to be so good for you. only for you."

sion’s tail wagged faster, brushing against your legs with every thrust. his nails, faintly clawed, kneaded at your hips like an overexcited pup desperate for affection. his ears twitched at the sound of your praise, perking up fully despite his face being buried against your neck. he let out a high-pitched whine, almost a bark, when your hands slid down to stroke his back, stopping at the base of his tail, your touch sending shivers through his overheated body.

“you're doing so good, sion," you whispered again, your tone soft yet intoxicating to him. he practically melted under your touch, his hips stuttering for a moment as his wagging tail thudded hard against the sheets.

his breath was ragged, and he nuzzled into you, licking at the curve of your shoulder like it was instinct. "i'll keep going," he panted, his tongue warm and desperate as it flicked over your skin. "want to be the best for you. only yours."

"you're mine," you reassured him, threading your fingers through his messy hair again and gently scratching behind his ears. his whole body shuddered at the contact, and he let out a pleased, puppy-like whimper.

"yes, yours," he whimpered, his hips snapping into a faster rhythm, his focus entirely on you. he tilted his head slightly, trying to get more of your touch, his ears twitching as if begging for more scratches.

his golden eyes flicked up at you once again, wide and pleading.

"do i feel good for you?" he asked, voice breaking into another high-pitched whine. his tail wagged insistently as if hoping for immediate approval.

"you feel incredible, sion," you replied, cupping his cheek and kissing him softly. "you're my perfect, good boy."

the words sent him spiraling. he buried his face in your neck, biting down gently as a deep, rumbling growl vibrated through his chest- a sound caught between primal instinct and pure affection. his hips bucked harder, faster, as if he couldn't bear the thought of holding back even a fraction of what he could give you.

"only you," he whimpered into your skin, his voice cracking. "only ever you."

and as his tail wagged feverishly, his ears drooping when you held him closer, there was no mistaking it- sion wasn't just lost in his heat. he was lost in you.

[tiredlilguy]

I’m writing from my phone because I have carpel tunnel and my hands hurt. Take these randomly assorted BSD hc’s:

(possible SB spoilers, but just the characters)

- Albatross has every piercing under the sun: like he’s got a nose ring, eyebrow piercing, snakebites… anything u can think of

- Oda wears rings 🤤, plays with them when he gets anxious (he’s also my husband)

- Chuuya is a summer child (born in the summer), so he love it when it’s hot af outside and drags his friends outside to go eat lunch with him or smth (HES HUMAN IN MY HEART STFU, I DONT WANNA HEAR IT RN)

- opposite to Chuuya, Dazai is a winter baby, but he also hates the cold

- sometimes Adam sends Chuuya random incriminated texts on his phone. It’s usually just something silly like “Hello! I hope you’re eating sugar and growing very healthy.” Or maybe a random fact like “Did you know that cows have a strong sense of smell? They can perceive smells at a distance of up to ten kilometres.” Chuuya will usually not respond back, but he scoffs and lets out a small laugh to himself before closing his phone

- Ango hates bugs, he will cry if he sees a spider sitting on his paperwork

- Oda and Ango when drunk are very enthusiastic and energetic. Oda will dance on the counter while pretending his glass is a mic. Ango will join him too- The only person that knows this side to them is Dazai

- animals love sigma for some reason. Like Disney princess style love sigma. Sigma however, hates that this happens to him, and actively avoids walking in forests or places where animals usually reside.

- Oda is a good dancer, like good… old style bar dancer. He’s quite impressive actually, and it’s attractive-

- Chuuya and Albatross both have heterochromia.

- Literally no one except for Chuuya has seen Albatross with his sunglasses off. That shit is basically glued to his face

- Verlaine is bougie as hell. Like I know he’s Mafia, but I think it’d be funny if he was… more bougie than like everyone else in the Mafia. Like he actively buys and wears expensive shit.

- Verlaine has a good hair routine.

- Doc may or may not have a plushie collection. And they may or may not all be sea animals

- Kunikida seems like he’d have an emo phase. Idk why… I just think he would.

- Despite only using one bar of soap for showering, Atsushi actually smells really nice for some reason (he smells like lavender)

- lippman is a swiftie, doc is a barb (I discussed this with one of my moots and now I can’t stop thinking about it)

- since it’s hinted is SB that Lippman would still make ppl fold at him wearing feminine clothes, I hc that he does not rly give a shit about gender or what one should/should not wear

- Chuuya has taken this tip from Lippman and has worn skirts before with his outfits

- the real reason why akutagawa dislikes mandarins (that’s canon btw) is because one time he was offered one to eat and as he was peeling it the mandarin juice got in his eye and he chopped it up into bits out of anger

- Chuuya only ate bread and soup when he was in the Sheep, since then Kouyou has introduced him to the finer foods in life, and Albatross introduced him to junk food

- Dazai used Chuuya’s shower when he was in the Mafia because he didn’t have a shower in that old ass storage container

- Oda does not pay for haircuts. He cuts his own hair, and one time he was too busy so he had to tie it up in a low pony

- Kunikida likes things that are weighted (weighted blankets, etc)

- Oda’s a little bit tanned because of jobs that have to do with being outside in the sun for long periods of time

Ok that’s all. Enjoy. I should make an Odasaku hc list because he is my absolute favorite character (next to the flags). Let me know if u want a specific bsd character hc. I will write it >:3 (also please tell me ur hc’s too. I love hc’s) I’m gonna eat lunch now.

[star-going-supernova]

Glamrock Circus Baby is a thing and she operates in the ice cream parlor at Bonnie Bowl. If you wanna do the GlamMike headcanon, with Elizabeth still possessing Baby, just A LOT calmer now, then that would be an epic, and also very worrying, rivalry.

Prompt from Hydrangea_Cherry9 on ao3! This is pre Security Breach, if SB even happens in this AU. 

Sibling Rivalries Never Die

Glamrock Bella Bunny, the rebranded and redesigned Circus Baby, wasn’t a terrible host for Elizabeth Afton. At least she wasn’t stuck in a mechanical clown anymore, though she hadn’t quite decided if the red and pastel pink bunny—because heaven forbid the pizzaplex have a human-ish animatronic—was actually better. 

(It did soothe something in her tormented, tattered soul that this animatronic didn’t have any mechanism for snatching innocent kids. She had maybe been in a better mood since she didn’t have to live with being stuck in her murderer’s body.) 

The best part of her new twisted existence was the company. And she didn’t mean Bonnie, who Bella saw and interacted with most often. No, there was nothing like a bit of schadenfreude to lift one’s spirit (pun intended). 

She threw a handful of plastic spoons at Glamrock Freddy, the current host for her older brother. It was a slow day, and there was no one at the counter to catch her misbehaving.

“Seriously?” he said, more annoyed than any child would ever hear the great Freddy Fazbear be. “Real mature, Li—Bella.” 

“Get lost, Freddy. Or can you not read?” She pointed over at the hand drawn sign that Monty had been happy to make for her. A great big red X slashed over a sloppy crayon depiction of Freddy’s face, with BANNED written above it.

“Oh, for the love of—I’m here to see Bonnie. Not you. It’s not my fault you’re stuck in the bowling alley.” 

“I prefer ‘defending my territory,’” Elizabeth said with a haughty sniff. “And if free roaming makes you so high and mighty, then you can go wander around elsewhere and wait for your boyfriend to join you.”

Michael sputtered. “We aren’t—Bonnie’s not my boyfriend!” 

“Mhm, sure.” She roughly scooped a generous ball of strawberry and unceremoniously lobbed it at his chest. “Oops. Guess you’ve gotta go get cleaned up.” 

“You’re such a brat,” he snapped, snatching up a handful of napkins to try and mop up the mess of pink ice cream splatter. “You can’t still be mad about last week.” 

Bella wasn’t an animatronic particularly suited to hissing and gnashing her teeth, but Elizabeth was nothing if not furious and determined. “If it wouldn’t get me decommissioned, I’d jump over the counter right now and rip your arms off, you pathetic excuse for a—”

“What’d he do?” a child’s voice interrupted. 

Circuits sparking in surprise, they both jumped. Michael stumbled to the side, revealing a boy who had been standing behind him. It was hard for an animatronic to be shocked into shutdown, but seeing the absolute spitting image of their dead younger brother staring back at them with a mischievous sort of fascination did the job. 

Michael choked out a yelp before his eyes went dark, and Freddy unceremoniously toppled over to the tiled floor. Elizabeth—and she would gloat about this later—lasted a moment longer, her mouth flapping with her speechlessness before her core overheated and forced a reboot. 

In the final moment before her vision cut out, she would have sworn she saw a copy of her brother beside and a bit above the boy, as if floating. And that second Evan, the see-through one, looked as surprised as Elizabeth felt. 

[shower-phantom-ideas]

Yea I’ll take a snippet of dpxfnaf

Those are my oldest and newest hyperfixations

Didn’t actually think anyone would want this one but here we go. First one asked for and I gotta do a disclaimer.

I wasn’t into fnaf just the dca. And like the dca self insert side of it too. All of my five nights knowledge comes from the fandom (mostly @bamsara so check her fic out it’s good, Solar Lunacy) ok with that out of the way. This is 100% going to be about the dca. I honestly don’t think I could do proper with the security guard danny

Ok it’s been like what feels a week so im a just have to give up on snippet. (I rewrote it like twice and deleted like two pages of writing ) and just say I had the best idea ever

Danny keeps coming back.

This could be og fnaf or sb. But if he dies he just shows up for work the next night. Like all the animatronics don’t get it. One freaking out to the others about killing the security guard or whatever new hire Danny gets hired on for only for him to show up unharmed the next night. Just always tired.

Man hates it but the job pays well so he doesn’t wanna loose this job. Hes just a collage boy with lots of college bills. He really thought working with all these advanced AI would be fun too :/ too bad they keep killing him. How are these fit for children smh.

He is slowly driving all of them nuts by coming back and making off hand comments about how harming kids is wrong. Maybe he messages management about it once and almost looses the job so now he just stays quite and ignores it.

Eventually he will probably start using his ghost powers to avoid having to buy another work shirt. Those things get pricy.

If any of the bots ask about it he just makes stupid puns at them causing more concern and confusion. Though I like to think all of the bots keep quite about killing him cause their freaking out then he just saunters in next night.

*bot panicking about killing danny*

“Oh the security guard will be here soon we should greet him!”

*internal panic rising cause they know he wont be coming*

Then he just walks in like nothing happened the night before. Not a scratch on him.

If u really want the snippet (it’s not good I promise) ill go finish it for you but beware

[chipistrate]

Hey, whatever happened to that pinned post you had with all your FNAF AUs on it?

It's still up, just not pinned anymore cause I thought it was too long for a pinned post- my current one gets the idea across just fine lmao

You can still find it by just searching 'intro post' on my blog, but I'll put the AU section under the cut if you don't wanna go looking for it

-Year 1/#Fnaf Year 1 AU: First year of Glitchtrap/Mimic1 infecting the Pizzaplex, centered around the characters reactions to everything and character dynamics, like Cassie and Dr. Rabbits dynamic and Vanessa getting used to her new job as Head of Security. Same year as Tonys death, and the most interesting new cast member to note would be Lucia; now 21 and part of the Mega Pizzaplex' security team, investigating the strange disappearances that she believes to be connected to the Mimic.

-Welcome to Balloon Circus/#Fnaf Welcome to Balloon Circus: 3 star fam return to the Pizzaplex lot 3 years after Ruin to fix M.X.E.S after they suddenly shut down, and upon arrival, instead find a giant circus. There's a big post with a poster and TONS of information here if you're interested!!

-Quests Continuation/#Fnaf Quest Continuation: Takes place after the Disassembled Ending. Gregory quite literally stumbles into another Pizzaplex unlike the one from SB, now much smaller with uncorrupted animatronics, Bonnie as one of the band members, and no security guards out to get him. He hesitantly accepts the band members help in finding his old friend, Cassie, so he can be reunited with her and not keep living on the streets, because after finding him for the first time, the band members are VERY adamant that he cannot go back to that living situation, considering the terrible condition he was in.

-Endpoint Security/#Fnaf Endpoint Security: Security Breach swap AU featuring newly uninfected Vanessa as the protagonist and a very much so still infected Dr. Rabbit as the antagonist. Vanessa, barely even remembering having this job and now locked in the Pizzaplex until 6am without any of her keycards or tools, is now accompanied by Dr. Rabbit talking to her through her new fazwatch as she goes on a scavenger hunt he set up just for her to find her keycards and tools to help her survive the night until the doors open, though Dr. Rabbit makes it clear that 6am won't be the end of this shift for her if all goes according to plan.

-Back at it again/#Fnaf Back at it Again: Post PQ ending. Vanessa keeps her job as head of security and Gregory takes up an internship as a security guard, position secured by Vanessa’s recommendation, and the two use their job ranks to continue looking into the mysteries of the Pizzaplex and put Mimic to an end once and for all, aaas well as steal whatever they need to take care of Freddy back home when no one's looking.

-Painted Tears Trilogy/#Fnaf Painted Tears Trilogy: Silver Eyes Trilogy inspired AU centering around the MCI looking into the disappearances of Charlotte Emily and Evan Afton, two of their now missing childhood best friends.

[hellsbovnd-archive]

in other news: hitting inno ex enrage at 4%

[sugarywishes]

OKAY Y'ALL HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUT

I got a swanky ass idea for a SB au (per the norm)

Say hello to,the "Glamrock Circus" AU!! 🎪🎉🤡

My ideas haven't quite been polished yet (I literally made up the concept like 2 minutes ago not even joking) but the basic synopsis is that Gregory comes across an advertisement poster for 'Fazbear Entertainment's Glamrock Circus!' and he just decides that 'well I guess I can hide out here' (cause,,,homeless) but he meets the glamrock animatronics (but now they're animatronic circus performers!) And he decides to join!

Vanny and Afton are gonna play a bigger role in this...somehow? Maybe Afton can be the corrupt ringmaster and Vanny his assistant?? Or something like that

But besides that here are the circus acts everyone has!

Gregory can fit into really small places like in canon (Probably thanks to malnourishment :( ) but I also have a few other hcs for him,like he's freakishly flexible and would probably be a good contortionist (maybe also an escape artist too? So that he could utilize both his skills??)

Chica is an acrobat! Or well,she does aerial tricks(?) She also does trapeze (is that the same as acrobatics??) And also probably a tightrope walker too (maybe she can do some sick gymnastics moves or like do a backflip at least 👀)

Roxanne does the more 'dangerous and thrilling' tricks,like the wall of death and maybe even being a 'human' cannonball? (She could also maybeee do trapeze too?? Chica need a partner for her acts so obviously her girlfriend will help her)

Monty is a strongman. Sorry that's all I've got for our beloved red neck gator 💔 (if you get that reference I will give you a virtual pat on the back) but if you guys have any ideas for the lad then I'm open to hear!

I have...no idea what to do for Freddy,I was also thinking strongman too but I kinda also want him to a magician (cause those are cool I guess??) So he's undecided for now

Sunrise and Moondrop! They're both clowns,which means they have more tricks to do than everyone else. Both of them can do puppetry and juggling but separately...

Sun does the G-rated acts,basic juggling with just plastic balls and stuff as to not hurt anyone with,and he does a lot of 'goofy gags' to make kids laugh (like telling stupid jokes with his puppet shows or making balloon animals for them!) The most dangerous act they do however is fire performing! (Like fire dancing,fire breathing etc) Literally just because they're the 'sun' lmao,he doesn't do it near the kids though cause he doesn't want to scare them 🤧

Moon does more 'scarier' stuff,like yes he does puppet shows and juggles but he juggles with knifes and other dangerous objects instead. (He juggled with a few live grenades one time,to which then Fazbear Entertainment freaked out and disposed of them in an unknown location...) He's also a knife thrower! Which scares the absolute fuck outta the kids,but the company still let's him do it because the adults think its neat

Also kind of off topic but not sure if I wanna make Sun and Moon in the same body,conjoined twins or two separate performing robots,curse me and my indecisiveness

And finally,Afton and Vanny. Not sure what iteration of Afton will be in this AU (William? Springtrap?? Glitchtrap??? Who knows man) but he's in charge and he's mean about it,he didn't want Gregory in the circus to begin with,that is until he realized that he could use him,he probably gets Gregory to pickpocket a ton of guests for extra cash 'For the good of our circus!' And the type of mf to emotionally abuse him so he can keep using him 'Why do you think your family isn't with you Gregory? They left you because you were nothing,but I found worth in you,I could've thrown you back onto the streets but I give you shelter and a job,and you response by acting ungrateful? Go ahead,leave and stay starving and cold in a box,I won't go anywhere.' And for Vanny,probably also kind of an asshat at the start until ahe realizes that Afton is a bitchass motherfucker who pissed on her fucking wife!! Again I haven't fully fleshed them out yet so still a WIP

That's all I have so far,I want to add Music Man into the mix but I don't know what to do with him 😔

I'm also adding Vanessa in this AU (as a SEPERATE CHARACTER FROM VANNY,thank you very much!) And perhaps a few ocs,they're not gonna be major characters so don't worry,they'll probably be the bratty kids who hassle the performers and maybe bully Greg by calling him a freakshow or something like that,just wait until I can get some art out 😳

[cyberstatic-fox]

Honestly the fact that a giant part of FNAF's audience are kids is a bit... Disheartening, considering that made the content more child-friendly too. Well, as much as game like this can be haha... A lot of dancing around things and only implying it sometimes, even in language.

Says I, who's been a fan for years and is only turning 20 this year.

Hopefully I'll figure it out soon enough lol.

That said, man do I feel ya on this whole "creativity" thing. I'm writing my own fnaf sb fic, just for my own personal entertainment and not for posting, and I've only written the first chapter and a chapter set quite far into the future cuz I had an idea for it. Cuz I'm still trying to figure out what exactly I actually wanna do. I've got NO idea what I'm doing and how to take the plot where I want it, and what to stuff inbetween. Hard to think of the finer parts in the story and the interactions.

Hopefully I'll figure this out soon lol.

And then there's an additional problem of "I don't feel like drawing", which is a huge deal when it's your job.

All that is to say, take your time! It's really no problem to wait, I understand how it feels, and I'm sure everyone else does too. I don't think there's any need to rush, I'm sure you'll get out of this funk soon enough.

Sorry if I made any typos it's 5 AM and I don't pay attention :D

yeah it's really funny as a newer fan cuz like. half the fandom is tired college students which is pretty standard, and then half is 13yo children talking abt going to high school soon. it blows my mind lmfao this is the most bizarre fandom ive been in yet

(esp considering im mid-20s lmfao i feel like an old fart next to all these fans who literally grew up on fnaf)

it's also funny how ive been able to draw lately but not write considering ive had art block for the past forever lmfao as it turns out the cure to stagnation is to embrace your inner cringe, who knew

[spiteful-bomb]

“What kind?” SB Updike Looks over at the smaller Updike curiously.

“vanilla would be nice” Came as a response.

“Huh. Mmmk.” Vanilla for him. And Cookie dough for this one “So uh... how long you known him?”

“Mr. Hughes? For a while now. I build my way up to be his right hand man and I've been working with him for around 3 years now.”

“Huh. I kinda ran my business after my old man kicked the bucket..... I was only 16 at the time...”

“that's very young to be running such company as the Greater Good. Did you get help along the way?”

“Iiii had several advisors. But for the most part it was... just me.”

“sounds rather stressful. At least I'm glad you didn't have to be under the wing of someone like Mr. Hughes at such a young age.”

“He seems r e a l l y uptight. How do you manage?”

“you get used to him. I somehow managed to. You need to have lots of patients and pay attention to what gets him on a better mood.”

“A h....... What’s kinda funny here is. Technically we’re enemies then”

“how so???”

“What’s your objective for your Greater Good?”

“to exterminate any being that is dangerous enough to threaten people's lives and even reality itself, ofcourse.”

“..... see that’s the issue”

He chuckles bitterly “I guess I can blame it on having to fend for myself for years but. When I look at those beings- I see people. I see misunderstood, scared p e o p l e. That deserve a chance to feel like they belong. My way is to capture and tame. You’d be surprised by how good one of those beings can be if they’re just pushed in the right direction. Afterall. They aren’t too different from me and you. They’re just scared.”

“...I...”

He thought for a moment before he shook his head. He had to remember what Hughes told him. Do not let yourself be manipulated

“...Right.”

“I can see why you think differently tho. Afterall most people do harm what they don’t understand... but just..... I dunno. Look at one of those so called anomalies and just think on why it acts how it does”

“I could try-“

He remembered once more. Do not. Hughes taught him better. And he would pay the price if he even dared to doubt his own loyalty to the company and especially the General

“...P-possibly. Not sure.”

“Sorry. I’ll stop. You obviously have your own beliefs and I don’t wanna ruin whatever relationship you have with your higher up.”

“I-it's alright. You also have your own beliefs. And I don't think I would end up purposely damaging our partnership in the job.”

He chuckles again “..... Whitty isn’t that bad when you just.... talk to him.”

“Mr. Hughes and I recently encountered a different Whitty that was quite...feral”

“........ o h n o Jet-”

“You know the creature???”

“Yeah. He’s not b a d. He just doesn’t understand right from wrong. Apparently his Updike abused him a lot and never properly educated him so he’s.... Jet is just Jet.”

“ah...I wish I would have known that. He kind of infiltrated himself at our place and uh...t-things happened-“

He now looked a tad nervous

“B-but I believe he's fine!”

“..... y-you didn’t hurt him too bad right?” He sounds worried now “I know almost all Whitties have a regeneration mechanism but I’m absolutely certain most damage hurts like hell....

“U-um...well, I barely did anything,”

“Mr. Hughes however...U-ummm...”

“.......” He sighs, a harsh huff “I’ll go find him.... I just hope he’s ok. Jet.... was never treated as an actual person till I met him. He just.... needs to be shown something other than fear, hatred... disgust.”

“R-right...I'm very sorry. I really wasn't able to do anything to stop anything that happened.”

“I don’t blame you. Surprisingly, you’re one of the most chill alternates of what I usually deem ‘bad’ I’ve met. And ..... I don’t see you as a bad person. You’re just working to what you’ve been told is right”

“r-right...I'm still very sorry. I seriously don't feel the fondest towards Jet since he was pretty...wild, but I feel some guilt now that I know this”

“First impressions usually decide how you view a person. Again you don’t have to apologize. At least not to me. I wouldn’t deserve it anyway”

“I-I know it's a lot to ask, but I hope it's ok if I prefer that there's no conflict between you and Mr. Hughes. You are rather nice and I wouldn't want to be forced to be enemies with you.”

He pauses, looking down at his smaller, alternate counterpart. His mouth twitches slightly as he sighs “It’s no trouble. You’re actually pretty cool. So I guess we just keep this whole conversation between me and you, yeah?”

He looked up at his counterpart with hope and appreciation, smiling to him

“Of course. Thank you.”

“Anytime.”

——————————————————————

Discord Rp that became canon.

@ask-updike-and-hughes

SB Updike: Normal

AUH Updike: Bold

:)

[ghosttown-mp3]

tagged by @lostinnostalgia, thanks maxx!!!

name: mikey (or michael if you wanna be super formal)

gender: man fuck if i know, but like def on the more masc side

sign: aquarius

height: i think im 5′6 now, but i havent measured in a hot min

time: 901 pm

bday: nope! 

fav bands: uhhhhhhh, idkhow, lemon demon, devo, neutral milk hotel, they might be giants, the kinks, and like a shit ton of others

fav solo artists: bowie, beck, prince, and there are others, i just cant think of any rn

song stuck in my head: is this christmas? by the wombats (i hate christmas music but my mother loves it so ive heard A LOT of it recently)

last movie I watched: hair

last show I watched: derry girls

when I made this blog: ummm like mid 2018 if im remebering right

what I post: shit man, this changes like every half an hour, rn im on a bdg kick. i also shitpost quite often

last thing googled: “mothman costume wings?”

any sideblogs: i think im up to 3 now cause i have an spn sb, a vinyl sb, and one that i dont use anymore but have it to keep an old url

do I get asks much: i get one every now and then, but not particularly often

why I chose this url: around halloween i ripped ghost town by the specials off of yt and when it downloaded it autonamed itself ghosttown.mp3 and i thought that was cool

following: 306 (but like most of those blogs are inactive now but im nto gonna unfollow cause theyre cool and im hoping theyre gonna reactivate

followers: 129 on main, but with sideblogs added its about 132 cause i only have a few non mutuals following sideblogs

avg hours of sleep: it honestly depends on if it the week or weekend cause weekdays i get aroun 4-5 hours but weekends i get like 11 hours

lucky number: i dont have one, i just think numbers are cool 

do I play any instruments: yeah!! i play bass, sing, and play cello! i used to play violin, uke, guitar, and piano as well so i know enough of those to fill in when needed

what im wearing: a pair of fuzzy flannel pants and a recreation of a sweatshirt for bowie’s isolar tour in ‘76

dream job: cemetary preservation or audio engineering! either would be cool!

dream trip: a cross us roadtrip going thru mostly route 66 in one of those hybrid vw microbusses

fav food: red beans n rice!! also anything with crab in it but mainly crab claws

nationality: *sighs* american :(

last book I read: i think it was high fidelity but its been a hot min cause ive been reading more fic than irl books recently

fav song: dont ask me this cause im physically incapable of answering

fav fictional universe: ummm idk but probably the wierd sorta universe idkhow is making lore for cause it has a cool retro vibe

tagging (if you want to) - @collgeruledzebra @art--school--wannabe @skatle-skootle-demon-noodle n anyone else who wants to!!

[furymint]

2020 Creator Reflection

Pick a favorite piece for each month to celebrate the year! Reflection under the cut.

March: i talked abt this one here so hell yeah, i love me some angst and revving up elliot’s fatal flaw to ruin his life

April:  Oh God, Nol Antagonized The Feral Possum Too And Now Everything Is Going To Become Bad. it was really hard for me to commit and let nol be the idiot he is to one of my friends but im rly glad i managed it. i expected a lot of tauntness in his character from removing him from ishgard but i wasn't completely sure how i would express it beyond his fragmented thoughts. he never says or thinks quite what he wants to in the order he intends. his impulsivity is damning here n i like that a lot

May:  next year for sure im gonna write at least two clo stories. i dont like that he's That Aesthetic Cat Boy on this blog when he's my vehicle for horror. his voice is also one i haven't figured out yet so id rly like to get that done. shout out to the little pharos in the back.....ilu

June (one): trench warfare trench warfare trench warfare, aka me rewriting what square was too cowardly to put thought into, plus a good dose of sucker punching nol. its much overdue but im working on another sb thing too based on brave's IR so i rly rly wanna finish that soon next year.

June (two): i already talked abt this one here but noise good boys cute

July (one):  this one reminded me that oh. yeah. i CAN photoshop things if i have a vision. bc halone knows i havent in a long time. im a bitch for arr and i love the calamity, but i dont write much abt my boys' childhoods so never get to directly address it. i rly love the one of elliot, who is definitely not eating a piece of bread

July (two):  this bitch wrote FLUFF and POETRY in ONE STORY so thats p cool. i rly like elliot getting smacked by the piano.

August:  spinny. the combination of cute pastels and nols dead anger face is p funny tbh

September (one):  i looooove showing nol's perception against elliot's. nol has an interesting relationship w eli's room, too, as a place of comfort but also massive change, so it's always fun to get him to interact w it. still, elliot operates almost mockingly here--id like to change that vibe bc while his actions are deliberate, they're not cruel.

September (two):  this one was fun to write and fun to read. I've missed writing nol n eli in that awkward period of their early friendship a lot n this let me revisit it. their fondness for each other is clear but theyre evidently not quite *used*to each other. also "a fair trade, he considered, as nol manhandled him through the window" still makes me laugh.

October:  FRUMPY CLOTHES FRUMPY CLOTHES FRUMPY CLOTHES. v happy w this outfit. good clothes this year even if i didnt play very much at all.

November:  i loooooove writing jos and nol. they have so much tension its beautiful. mentor characters are one of my favorite ways to push another chara to do smth uncomfortable, so jos' prodding is the perfect combination of understanding and advice to get nol to reflect on what he needs to. even if that's calling elliot a bitch

-------

i didnt get to do anything for three of the months this year, which is kind of weird for me, but also. its whatever. bc this is 2020.

i rly didnt get to create much at all tbh for 2020 reasons, but also for job reasons--i v happily began working at a public library halfway through this year. adjusting to that time sink was p difficult.

i also really. didn’t play ffxiv much. i did start playing a couple other video games tho, like animal crossing and a few zeldas, and i started tw3 a few weeks ago and im enjoying it. ill take that as progress, too

im working really hard on starting a book blog so i dont expect to return to the game very quickly next year. but i really miss my characters and my friends so i def want to put more time into ffxiv. i have an industrial revolutions wip that i should be done with in the next month, plus another marriage plot wip that i can begin tying together too.

i would really like if i could finish the rp plot for marriage plot im cooking and contribute it to my fc a little. who doesnt need a little more ishgardian drama in their life, duh,

but we made it! to the end of the year! even if it feels lonely and the festivity is really out of me, im glad to move into 2021 and take the little good parts with me.

past reflections:  2017 | 2018 | 2019

[star-going-supernova]

Crashes into wall

Ok I'm back! Thanks for replying to my ask so I'll try to explain the au in a pretty long ask. Here I go!

So essentially everything in the games has happened. The main killings, the events of fnaf 3 but the happiest day minigame wasn't use/found (?). Cause of that, the children spirits were stuck in the mortal plane. Eventually, they got used being a spirit and decided to just stay they forever. Evan is there and he shares Golden Freddy with Cassidy. At some point Cassidy became the main ghost controlling GF and Evan was content with just chilling as a ghost without a suit.

Anywho after this we move to fnaf 6. The fire didn't do it's goddamn job properly and only got rid of the amalgamation that is Molten Freddy. So yes, Michael, Elizabeth, Charlie, Henry Emily and of course old man Afton survive the fire.

Now after all of that is done, let me go to the main part of the au. All of that I just talked about happened quite far in the past. When this au takes place is in 2017 onwards. That is the same year that a Mr Scott Cawthon was fired from Freddy Fazbear Enterprise. The reason for it? Sticking his nose where it doesn't belong. Because he's petty and has been part of the company for so long, Scott decided make a bunch of games secretly telling the hidden story of FE. Due to the games, the three remaining locations often get unwanted visitors trying to find if the conspiracy was true.

Talking about the three locations, those are the location from the first game, the second game and Sister Location. Michael, with the help of Henry, rebuilt all the SL robots with more safety features and make sure no more accidents happen. Elizabeth now stays in the new Baby but often goes to the 1st location to chill with her siblings. Michael now owns FE and takes care of the few locations with the help of the spirits and Henry, who lives alone and slightly burnt but Charlie occasionally comes over to chat.

Around 2022 (lmao), the PizzaPlex location was built. 6 months after its opening, the events of SB happened. Gregory now lives in the vents, basement and walls of the PizzaPlex and hangs out with the gang after closing.

And that's the conspiracy au kinda summarised. I have a fanfic currently in my Ao3 account about an occasion when people break in to 1st location. I'll probably upload another story just filled with drabbles about Aftons meeting the SB group and other random things. If you wanna read what I have so far the Ao3 name is my user but with an underscore in-between harris and parris. Thanks for listening to this extremely long ramble and thank you for letting me ramble.

I love the idea of the fnaf events being legit but covered up, leaving just enough info for people to get suspicious and start digging! Works kinda like an Outsider POV (which is one of my favorite tropes!) too! Gosh, I can totally see people posting vlogs of them exploring any shut-down locations and all sorts of theory videos. I bet all sorts of unsolved mysteries/crime channels would cover it, lol. How fun!

And meanwhile, all the survivors, ghostly or otherwise, are just like... going about their lives as much as they can. Amazing. Nice AU, friend, sounds like it has lots of potential!

You're welcome, friend! Thank you for sharing your ramble!

[djgamek1ng]

Shadowbringers Tank Thoughts! [FFXIV]

Well, with patch 5.2 out with a singular change to any of the tanks (WAR’s shield on Shake it Off went up to 12% of Maximum HP to 15% of Maximum HP at base), it is as good a time as any to make this post. I’ll go over all 4 tanks and describe how I’m feeling about them, maybe with some initial impressions mixed in there as well. Let’s start with the ARR jobs and work towards the ShB tank with GNB. First up, the angriest job: WAR!

Warrior (WAR):

FELL CLEAVE! FELL CLEAVE! FELL CLEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVE! The one button that changed tanking forever. Seriously, every tanking job has their Fell Cleave button. For PLD it is Holy Spirit, for DRK it is Bloodspiller and for GNB it is Burst Strike. So, what did WAR get with Shadowbringers? Not too much, but what it got was quite nice.

It got a combo skill from Overpower called Mythril Tempest and unlike Overpower it is a circle around you instead of a cone ahead of you, more on that later

Mythril Tempest also extends the Storm’s Eye buff and it gives 20 Beast Gauge

It got Nascent Flash, which is a buff you put on someone and for 6 seconds (roughly 3 GCDs if done well) you give them 10% mitigation and heal them based on the damage you do. You also get healed for 200% of the same amount you heal them (or they get healed for 50% of the same amount you heal yourself)

It also got Chaotic Cyclone and Inner Chaos, essentially roided up versions of Decimate and Fell Cleave that always direct crit and they look like Steel Cyclone and Inner Beast

So WAR didn’t change much from SB to ShB and honestly, there is nothing wrong with that. Do I wish it got a few more things to play around with? Absolutely. Do I think WAR is in a bad spot? Hell no. It is amazing on the self mitigation side and its damage, while definitely lower than GNB/PLD and while arguably (depends on what level you are preforming) DRK, is still quite good. Overal, if I had to give an arbitrary number to rate WAR with, I’d give WAR a solid 8/10. Also, as a quick aside, it feels weird to have a cone AoE combo into a player based circle AoE. I’d personally like it if WAR got 2 cone AoEs, though they would’ve had to extend the range of each a bit (around 10 yalms instead of the current 8).

Paladin (PLD): HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! IT IS FINALLY TIME THAT WE’VE BEEN LEGITIMATELY BETTER THAN WAR FOR A COUPLE OF PATCHES! MWAHAHAH- ahem I mean... the shield of the party is up next. PLD, with it being my main in the short while I played HW and the entirety of SB (I’ll get to ShB main at the end), definitely has a soft spot in my heart. But what did PLD actually get?

Well, it got a combo skill from Total Eclipse called Prominence. Prominence also gives MP back when used (only in the combo)

It got an AoE version of Holy Spirit called Holy Circle

It got a gap closer called Intervene, which has 2 charges

It got a system called Sword Oath, which gives you a use of a skill called Atonement. At the moment, the only way to get Sword Oath stacks is to do a full Royal Authority combo and you get 3 stacks of it. Each Atonement hits as hard as the final part of a RA combo (so the actual RA attack)

It also got a fix 2 years in the making in the form of the Enhanced Requiescat passive: when you are under the Requiescat buff, your spell casts are instant. THANK THE LORD!

And last, but certainly not least, it got Confiteor which is an AoE finisher to your Requiescat window

So... let’s talk about PLD. I listed everything that it got from Stormblood to Shadowbringers. While all of this is great, especially the Enhanced Requiescat passive, it also lost pretty heavily. Its personal mitigation feels kind of crappy. Sheltron is great, but unlike the other short cooldown tank cooldowns, it is tied to the Oath Gauge... something that is still tied to auto attacks. Even if it wasn’t tied to auto attacks, the only benefit that it has is that you can use 2 Sheltrons back to back and then you are stuck trying to get it back. Doesn’t help that blocking’s power has been nerfed into the ground, with the highest blocking power still mitigating only 20%. “Only 20%? That’s still a lot!” Yeah, but it just doesn’t feel great. Also, I don’t know who made this decision but I just wanna talk: WHO RENAMED SHIELD OATH TO IRON WILL? I JUST WANNA TALK I PROMISE *prepares to Fell Cleave whoever made that decision*

Anyway, lame jokes aside, overal I’d give PLD around an 9/10 as well with a small note: in its highest highs it is a solid 9.5/10, sometimes even going to a 10/10. In its lowest lows, it is still a 7/10.

Dark Knight (DRK): THE EDGE IS CALLING TONIGHT! DRK is back with a vengeance after what happened to it in SB. The black sheep no more, DRK took a page out of WAR’s book and decided that Delirium needed to be diet Inner Release. So, for the changes/additions to DRKs kit (warning: there is a lot):

firstly, it got Edge of Darkness/Shadow. It is an oGCD single target attack that gives the DRK 30 seconds of Darkside

Darkside is now a buff activated by Edge of Darkness/Shadow and Flood of Darkness/Shadow (which I’ll get to next) that increases the DRKs damage by 10%. It also doesn’t halt MP regeneration anymore, so that’s neat

Flood of Darkness/Shadow is a line AoE oGCD skill that gives the DRK 30 seconds of Darkside

Abyssal Drain is an oGCD skill now that heals the DRK a bit per enemy hit, so the more enemies hit the bigger the heal

Delirium is now a 10 second window where Bloodspiller and Quietus don’t cost any resource. Sound familiar? Yeah, it is basically WAR’s Inner Release

They also get a combo move off Unleash called Stalwart Soul, which gives 20 Blood Gauge and some MP back when combo-ed

Next they get Dark Missionary, an AoE buff that makes the DRK and everyone one arounds the DRK take 10% less magic damage

Last, but certainly not least, they get the coolest skill in the game: Living Shadow. The summon a dark shadow in the shape of our all to familiar DRK quest giver from levels 30 to 50, Fray. It does 7 attacks across the span of 20ish seconds, but a mix of AoE and single target attacks

Also Plunge gets 2 charges, matching it to PLD’s Intervene

Plus, Blood Weapon now no longer increases attack speed (or well, it decreased the GCD so you were attacking quicker)

HOT DAMN DRK! You got a lot of good stuff and I’d probably say that DRK had the biggest upswing out of all the tanks from Stormblood to Shadowbringers. Makes sense since DRK is the poster boy of this expansion. So if I had to rate DRK, I’d say a 8.5/10. The only thing I think is halting DRK is that it doesn’t get Stalwart Soul until 72 and that the Blackest Night is still its level 70 capstone, making synced stuff be kind of painful from time to time. Not as bad as PLD though, which in my opinion might as well be unplayable from levels 68 to 78 because of Requiescat not giving the instant casts yet :(

Gunbreaker (GNB): KABOOM! Squall Leonhart has arrived in XIV and he has come in the form of a tanking job. Funny, both of the popular FF mainline protagonists, Cloud and Squall, are referenced in tanking jobs. Squall more so in GNB than Cloud in DRK, but still. Oh boy, let’s start this. This is gonna be a while and I’ll do it in bullet points since this is an entirely new job instead of changes to an existing job:

GNB has its Solid Barrel combo, which gives a small heal and small shield equal to the heal on the 2nd hit of the combo and it gives 1 cartridge to the GNB on the last hit

Cartridges are used to power 3 abilities: Burst Strike, their version of Fell Cleave, Fated Circle (can you tell this job is inspired by Squall yet), their version of Decimate/Steel Cyclone, and their Gnashing Fang combo

The Gnashing Fang combo is a high powered combo of skills that is on a 30ish seconds cooldown (it goes lower with skill speed). You can use another skill, called Continuation, in between each of the hits of the combo. They are oGCDs that add more damage to the combo

No Mercy is their damage buff. For 20 seconds you get 20% more damage. Simple enough!

Demon Slice is their AoE combo starter, with Demon Slaughter being the skill that combos from it. It also gives a cartridge when properly combo-ed!

Danger Zone is an oGCD that does ST damage. Eventually it gets upgraded into Blasting Zone (CAN YOU TELL THAT THIS JOB IS INSPIRED BY SQUALL) and does more damage

Camouflage is a oGCD skill that gives the GNB 10% mitigation and increases your parry change by 50%

Bow Shock is similar to Circle of Scorn, an oGCD that does AoE damage and gives AoE a damage over time effect

Aurora is a heal over time skill that the GNB can use on themselves or a party member. Has the same eventual potency as Equilibrium from WAR

Superbolide is their invuln skill... with a twist. It gives the GNB 8 seconds of total invulnerability... but puts their HP to 1 first

Sonic Break is a GCD skill that applies a damage over time effect on a 60ish second recast (goes down with skill speed)

Rough Divide is their gap closer and it has 2 charges

Heart of Light is Dark Missionary. Exact same skill

Heart of Stone is an oGCD skill that gives the GNB or one of their party members 15% mitigation. It is on a very short cooldown

Last but not least, it gets Bloodfest (its animation is Squall’s Draw animation from FF8. So again, CAN YOU TELL THAT THIS JOB IS INSPIRED BY SQUALL). Bloodfest gives the GNB 2 cartridges

That... that was a lot, but that was expected since I was describing a completely new job. The next time a tank releases, if it does, I’ll have to do this again... oh boy. Anyway, Squa- I mean GNB is a very interesting tanking job. It has kind of taking DRK’s spot as the fastest tank. Makes sense, since a Gunblade is not nearly as big and heavy as a Greatsword. In reality, GNB is a very fast and fun tank. It is arguably the best designed tank at the moment, though I think something can be said of PLD (though that is strictly speaking on the offense side). Overal, I’d give GNB a 9/10 rating. “WHAT?! AS HIGH AS PLD?!” Ye. It is a really good and fun tank!

Overal: So, in the end, what do we have? Well, the short of it, we got 4 very fun tanks for their own reasons. Even the meh-est of the tanks, WAR, is in my opinion still quite fun to play. So I said I was going to talk about what my main is. Well... I’m still trying the tanks and see what I like the most, but I do still consider myself a PLD main. Kind of doesn’t help that Square gave me almost everything I needed to keep maining PLD. A gap closer, instant cast spells (only during Requiescat but still), a way to reduce the monotony of the 1-2-3 combos, a finisher on the Requiescat window. I’m... in love once more.

The only thing I don’t like about PLD at the moment is how it very much lost its impenetrable wall fantasy. Blocking is now only 20%, still hasn’t scaled and at this point I doubt it will. Sentinel is now the same as Shadow Wall, Vengeance and Nebula: 2 minutes cooldown and 30% mitigation. It feels very weird that the shield tank has the least personal mitigation out of the tanks, plus its utility abilities are... weird. Divine Veil needs to be proc’d via a healing spell and Passage of Arms needs to be actually aimed and either be done somewhat last second or be held, which then makes it a damage loss. Every other tank’s utilities are instantly applied. Also an issue is that the Oath Gauge still doesn’t have a reason to freaking exist. You don’t use it often enough and for enough skills to have it visible. The only reason why I still have it is because it feels weird to not have a job gauge on my HUD for only PLD. I can go on about this stuff for a while, but I still love PLD. I’ll go over a “things I want to see changed for the tanks in the next expansion” thing later. PLD will definitely be the biggest section of that. Anyway, these were my tank impressions for Shadowbringers. Overal, very good expansion for tanking c:

[chipistrate]

WELCOME WELCOME!!!

About time I update the intro post Hey Hey! I'm Chipistrate (chip-uh-strate, like chip and illustrate) but you can just call me Chip, I use they/xe, and'm sapphic aroace!

Art tag is #Chipillustrates and talk tag is #Chip Chatter

Also currently EXTREMELY fixated on fnaf, so beware the insanity ahead<3 (so sorry to my ahit moots and followers, ily and ahit still I prommy)

Few things of note:

1. I'm 100% a-okay with fanart! 2. I prefer if you don't DM me unless it's urgent or we're mutuals/friends, if you wanna ask a question then my inbox is open! 3. Also; MY INBOX IS OPEN! I like rambling and answering questions and talking about theories and AUs and characters and really just anything fnaf/other interests related, etc. You can plop almost anything into my inbox and I'll most likely answer it! (it can take a bit sometimes, so sorry! I promise I read every ask I receive!) only thing I ask is to not put anything NSFW in there 4. I do take art requests, but there's never a 100% guarantee I'll draw what you ask! (if your a mutual then you can request AU characters and OCs!) 5.I love all of my mutuals and you're all very cool and I love you all very much even if we don't talk a lot!! I always say 'hey' when I see you in my notifs even though you can't hear me 6. Not a spoiler free zone, but I try and tag anything spoilery! 7. I talk in tags a lot 8. the fnaf kids are my favorite fnaf characters so sometimes I might be a little silly about them 9. I'm just a silly goober all around so if joyous whimsy isn't for you then you might not like it here

AUs and art examples under cut to save space

List of my AUs + small descriptions + their tags

-Year 1/#Fnaf Year 1 AU: first year of Glitchtrap/Mimic1 infecting the Pizzaplex, centered around the characters reactions to everything and character dynamics, like Cassie and Dr. Rabbits dynamic and Vanessa getting used to her new job as Head of Security. Same year as Tonys death, and the most interesting new cast member to note would be Lucia; now 21 and part of the Mega Pizzaplex' security team, investigating the strange disappearances that she believes to be connected to the Mimic. -Welcome to Balloon Circus/#Fnaf Welcome to Balloon Circus: 3 star fam return to the Pizzaplex lot 3 years after Ruin to fix M.X.E.S after they suddenly shut down, and upon arrival, instead find a giant circus. There's a big post with a poster and TONS of information here if you're interested!! -Quests Continuation/#Fnaf Quest Continuation: takes place after the Disassembled Ending. Gregory quite literally stumbles into another Pizzaplex unlike the one from SB, now much smaller with uncorrupted animatronics, Bonnie as one of the band members, Foxy still around, and no security guards out to get him. He hesitantly accepts the band members help in finding his old friend, Cassie, so he can be reunited with her and not keep living on the streets, because after finding him for the first time, the band members are VERY adamant that he cannot go back to that living situation, considering the terrible condition he was in. -Endpoint Security/#Fnaf Endpoint Security: Security Breach swap AU featuring newly uninfected Vanessa as the protagonist and a very much so still infected Dr. Rabbit as the antagonist. Vanessa, barely even remembering having this job and now locked in the Pizzaplex until 6am without any of her keycards or tools, is now accompanied by Dr. Rabbit talking to her through her new fazwatch as she goes on a scavenger hunt he set up just for her to find her keycards and tools to help her survive the night until the doors open, though Dr. Rabbit makes it clear that 6am won't be the end of this shift for her. -Back at it again/#Fnaf Back at it Again: Post PQ ending. Vanessa keeps her job as head of security and Gregory takes up an internship as a security guard, position secured by Vanessa’s recommendation, and the two use their job ranks to continue looking into the mysteries of the Pizzaplex and put Mimic to an end once and for all, aaas well as steal whatever they need to take care of Freddy back home when no one's looking. -Painted Tears Trilogy/#Fnaf Painted Tears Trilogy: Silver Eyes Trilogy inspired AU centering around the MCI looking into the disappearances of Charlotte Emily and Evan Afton, two of their now missing childhood best friends.

(Yeah I dunno how to write short AU descriptions, if you want more info about any of these then my inbox is open!)

Here's some examples of my more recent pieces/what you can expect from me when it comes to art:

Tried to keep it simple this time around, Thanks for reading and enjoy your stay!

[frederator-studios]

Derek Iversen: The Frederator Interview

Derek Iversen began his unlikely career in animation as a PA on the very first season of Spongebob Squarepants. You might say he was got by The Hook: he spent about a decade with the show, on the production staff before��becoming a writer on Seasons 6-9. Since then, he’s written on countless awesome TV shows, become an elected official in the neighborhood of Valley Glen (business card and all!), and created his own Nickelodeon short, “Carrot and Stick” inspired by his dog Rosie, whose image blesses the end of this interview. In honor of his episode of Bravest Warriors premiering tomorrow (5/18), Derek and I sat down to discuss sketch comedy, time travel, and a certain absorbent (and yellow and porous) friend.

Did you always want to be a writer? What’d you want to be growing up?

First I wanted to be a fireman. Then a police officer - huge jump there. Then I wanted to be an astronaut, until I realized I get motion sickness. So I thought I should be an astronomer - a little safer, little less barfing. But in 5th grade, my English teacher Mrs. Carrol gave me high marks on a short story assignment. I got really encouraged by that; I thought, “Hey, maybe I’ve found something I’m good at!” So pretty much from then on, I wanted to be a writer.

Wow, 5th grade? Were you a wunderkind, writing a ton as a kid?

Nah, I wasn’t that ambitious. In high school I took Theater with another great teacher, Mrs. Carrick. She encouraged us to write our own scenes and monologues. So I had the opportunity to try stuff out with my fellow students, and hopefully crack them up with idiocy. Then in college at University of Arizona, I joined a group called Comedy Corner and got really into sketch comedy. I thought if I could make a living doing that, THAT’s what I want to do. There’s nothing like doing live comedy before an audience. It’s thrilling.

Did you stick with comedy after college?

Some friends and I formed our own group! The People Who Do That. We became the kings of Tucson comedy… which, shockingly, didn’t pay the bills. So some of us decided to truck it out to LA to try to make it in the big city.

Did you have a job when you got to LA?

Nope, but I got a really stupid one: phone customer service for a pager company. Let me just say, the introduction of cell phones was NOT the only thing that killed off pagers… but I had a friend working at Nickelodeon, so I managed to get a job as a driver on The Angry Beavers. This was back in the olden days, when if artists needed reference materials, someone had to actually go pick them up from libraries or - RIP - video stores. Soon after, I got a job as a production assistant on a show that Nick had just picked up: Spongebob Squarepants. At the time we all thought, ‘This is a strange little show that hopefully will get a cult following.’ It did a little better than that. So that was kind of my ‘big break’. But it took me 7 years of working on the show to become a writer on it.

How did that path look?

Long and meandering. Because for some time, I thought I wanted to do sketch comedy, and that animation was my day job. I was a PA on seasons 1 to 3 and a coordinator on seasons 4 and 5. In that time I started chipping away at animation writing, because I had to actually learn how to write cartoons. I was used to writing for the stage, and animation is a visual medium. Much more so than even other kinds of TV, let alone theater, so I had to learn to tell stories visually. And stories that kids could relate to—I’d always written for adults, so my stuff went right over kid’s heads. But I wanted to write and kept knocking on the door, and in season 6, became a staff writer. I was one until season 9.

Do you think your background in sketch comedy aided that transition?

Oh yeah, absolutely. When you do a sketch in front of a big throng of crazy college students, it’s clear when it works and when it doesn’t. Sketch taught me not to waste the audience’s time: you get in, do the joke, and get out.

How was working on Spongebob? Any stories, secrets, lore?

It was a wild ride and a lot of fun. I’ve gotta be the only one who remembers this, but I swear it’s true: back in the first season, Steve (Hillenburg, creator) had a sign on his door that read, “Have fun or you’re fired.” It sounds cruel, but it actually set a good tone. We did have a lot of fun! And there wasn't much firing—it’s not like the hatchet fell every time somebody frowned. The crew had awesome camaraderie, and I think that’s reflected in the show. I sincerely believe the environment of a show, how it’s made, affects how it turns out. If a show is made with a tense crew where everyone fears the creator, it shows on-screen. Conversely, if the crew has fun and makes each other laugh, that’s clear on-screen too.

(Season 1 Christmas party: Ennio Torresan, Carly Benner-StClair, Bruce Heller, Mica Nataami, Carl (CH) Greenblatt, and Derek with the devil horns.) 

So despite the sign, no one was afraid of Steve Hillenburg?

No, no, the sign is misleading. He’s a total sweetheart. Success couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy: just a thoughtful, funny, sincere human being.

That’s exactly what you wanna hear about your heroes. What’s your favorite thing about the show?

Well Spongebob is definitely a reflection of Steve! As are the other characters, but mostly Spongebob. And to me, the greatest thing about the show, and the reason I think it’s been such a huge success, is that Spongebob is genuine. He’s without guile. He’s enthusiastic without any reservation. And I think, especially when the show came out, a lot of cartoons in the kid realm starred adults disguised as kids. And Spongebob was never that; he was always for kids, always had a kid’s spirit. That’s part of why we never defined his age: he has kid and adult qualities. He’s just sincere—and sincerity is underrated.

Do you have a favorite Spongebob episode?

Man... that’s like choosing a favorite child. But I’ll go ahead and do it. I have several favorites. One is “SB-129”. I’m a bit of a sucker for time travel - it’s part of why I enjoy Bravest Warriors so much. “The Fun Show” is awesome too, it’s a classic. Of episodes I wrote, “Not Normal” was my first and still a favorite. It’s a bit autobiographical: I was a weird kid and always felt like I needed to conform to some idea of normality. After a while, I decided that didn’t matter and I was going to accept being my weird self. And the same is true of Spongebob.

(Mr. Lawrence (aka Plankton), Vincent Waller, and Derek.)

How did you come to write for Bravest Warriors?

After Spongebob, I was a staff writer on Sanjay and Craig, which Will McRobb and Chris Viscardi executive produced. They’re great guys and a blast to work with. They'd also produced Bravest, so I found out about the show through them. I watched it and just thought it was madness in the best possible way. Last year Will mentioned they were looking for writers, so I gave it a shot. I really wanted to be part of the show and feel lucky that I got to be!

What are your favorite things about Bravest Warriors?

I love time travel and sci-fi, and you get both of those in BW. That’s a treat. But I love that it also goes right to the heart of teen angst. That’s a sandbox I don’t get to play in a lot, as I’m usually writing for kids or preschoolers. It’s a lot of fun to deal with broken hearts, romantic attraction, all that gooey hormonal stuff.

Do you have a favorite character from the show?

I like Danny a lot, because he’s kinda pathetic. I just want to help him out. But I can’t resist Catbug. He’s amazing. And I’m a big fan of Impossibear. Something about his gruffness... he’s selfish in a way that reminds me of Bender from Futurama. If I ever got to do another BW episode, I’d want it to be about Impossibear. Finding the mushy heart he hides inside.

What is your episode, “A Apple, B Banana, C Chili” about?

I did a sort of anti-consumerist screed cleverly disguised as a Bravest Warriors episode. The team succumbs to the power of marketing. They have to escape the clutches of a Costco-like superstore. It seemed like a uniquely weird challenge they hadn’t faced before. I think that’s why it was chosen from the ideas I pitched—when you’re pitching on a show with a lot of episodes, you’ve got to find the part of the floor that hasn’t been painted yet.

Aha - don’t they go in that store to grab Wallow a snack?

Haha yeah. Wallow gets hangry on a mission so they go to buy him some chips or a granola bar or something and it goes terribly wrong. I love episodes like that - we did it on Spongebob too - where it’s the simplest possible objective. The goal of the episode is one tiny thing, and then it balloons out from there and becomes ridiculously huge in a way it never deserved to be.

What would you be if you weren’t a TV writer?

Maybe a lawyer. Or a crazy activist trying to make the world a better place and not getting very far. I’d probably be quitting my job at the EPA right now out of sheer frustration. At least writing cartoons, I can express the absurdity of our world—but hopefully to make people laugh, instead of cry.

What are your favorite cartoons?

Well, Spongebob’s pretty darn good. I always loved Ren and Stimpy, the latest news notwithstanding. I’m a simple man: I love Road Runner. I couldn’t resist the simplicity of the gags. You always know what’s going to happen - Road Runner’s gonna get away and Wile E. Coyote is gonna eat it. But you don’t know how he’s gonna eat it. The magic is in the details. I’m a big fan of The Simpsons. And I enjoyed Aqua Teen Hunger Force; Master Shake cracks me up. I love how stupid and petty he is.

After writing for so long, is it ever still challenging?

Absolutely, it’s always a challenge. I think a lot of people struggle with being too precious with their ideas. It’s a collaborative medium: stories change and change and change again. You can accept compromises and look for the good in them, or you can fight against them. My view is, you have to choose your battles. Even the creator doesn’t have complete control. And the best creators and showrunners delegate responsibilities. They trust the people they’ve hired.  

Do you pitch show ideas around?

I haven’t as much lately; I’m busy story editing a preschool show now called Hanni and the Wild Woods. But I made a Nickelodeon short a few years back with my friend Miles Hindman, called “Carrot and Stick,” about a pair of buddies who live in a junkyard. Their nemesis is a dog named Rosie, based on my own dog Rosie. It’s a mixed media show - a combination of puppets, live action and 2D - so we wanted her to play herself. It didn’t work out. She’s cute and all, but cute doesn’t make you a good actor…

(Rosie, sweet and perfect in every conceivable way aside from acting ability.)

What else are you working on?

Well besides Hanni, I just got back from teaching an Animation Writing class in Jamaica for a few weeks - that was amazing. It was through The World Bank; they’re trying to build an animation industry over there. I’m glad they found me, it was a ton of fun and some of the student’s ideas were really cool. I also have a YA sci-fi book I really want to write. The trick is finding the time to do it; it keeps eluding me. Earlier I said animation is very collaborative - not so with this book. I have a very specific vision, and I’m excited to tell exactly the story I want to tell. I also write as Spongebob and Patrick on their Twitter accounts - which is a tougher gig than it sounds! All of the 140 character zingers have to be contained to their universe. But it’s fun and keeps me connected to the characters, and I love that.

Thank you for the interview Derek! So much fun talking with you. Good luck on all your many projects, I’ll be on the lookout!

- Cooper

[junker-town]

7 players who can win the ‘NBA 2K’ players-only tournament

Here’s our pick for the winner of the players-only NBA 2K tournament.

Basketball is coming back — in video game form, at least. In lieu of the NBA season being put on indefinite hiatus over the coronavirus pandemic, 16 players across the league are set to compete in an NBA 2K20 tournament. The event will be aired on ESPN and streamed on Twitch, Twitter, and Facebook. It runs from April 3-11, with the winner getting to donate $100K to charity for virus relief efforts.

Kevin Durant, Trae Young, Donovan Mitchell, and Devin Booker are the biggest names in the field. The players get their choice of teams, but it’s hard to imagine anyone going with a team that doesn’t currently employ them. It’s a single-elimination tournament. Yes, you can gamble on this: there are already detailed odds on who’s going to win.

Here’s what the bracket looks like:

Some of those bets are better than others. After exhaustive research, SB Nation has identified seven players who have a real shot at winning the whole dang thing. Let’s get it.

7. Zach LaVine, Chicago Bulls

LaVine has the second-worst odds to win the tournament, but he sure seems like a serious gamer. He was playing video games when he heard about the NBA season being suspended. He was also once put in a motion capture suit for the 2K series to get his exact moves in the game.

As someone who has played many games of 2K with the Bulls, I can tell you LaVine’s video game character is pretty great. He’s super fast, can drain threes, and dunks everything. Defense matters a lot more in real life than it does in video games. He also won’t be dragged down by his head coach like he is at his day job. Does virtual Jim Boylen call senseless timeouts, too?

The only issue is the Bulls are one of the worst-rated teams in the game. LaVine is going to have to score almost all of the points with his own guy if he’s going to win. It’s like he’s back at work again.

6. Hassan Whiteside, Portland Trail Blazers

In researching this story, I checked the social media channels of every participating player to see if they were practicing. Whiteside was the only guy posting about getting work in on his Instagram stories. Seems like a good sign.

2K somehow has Whiteside’s character rated as an 87 overall — which is as high as Mitchell and a point better than Booker. What? I guess telling reporters you’re trying to get your 2K rating up has its perks.

While Whiteside’s avatar might have a high rating, he’s more a defense-first player and not exactly someone you can run an offense through. Will Whiteside try to score all the points with his own guy rather than let Damian Lillard and C.J. McCollum cook? That’s what worries us.

5. Trae Young, Atlanta Hawks

Ice Trae is the second highest-rated player competing in the tournament at 90 overall. This is a portrait of a hardcore gamer:

Y’all don’t want this smoke.... I’m on now pic.twitter.com/KMKDOVwwL3

— Trae Young (@TheTraeYoung) March 14, 2020

Young also did the motion capture thing for 2K, and told The Undefeated one of his dreams is to be on the cover of the game. That’s dedication.

Young’s video game character is deadly from three-point range, but it can also be hard to score with him consistently going to the basket. That makes for a high degree of difficulty when playing. The Hawks are also terrible in the game, so he won’t have much help. He’d rank higher on this list if he was running with a better team.

4. Deandre Ayton, Phoenix Suns

Ayton has the second-best odds to win the tournament, and for good reason. A profile from Ayton’s college days in 2018 spelled out his love for video games and particularly 2K:

“It’s a ritual. I have to do it,” Ayton said. “Every little opportunity I have. As soon as I wake up, Fortnite or 2K. Breakfast? After film? I’m playing it. I’m playing it.”

That sounds encouraging, but here’s where I start to question his gaming ability: Ayton admitted he played with the Durant-Warriors, AKA the best video game team ever assembled, and also that he turned off fatigue!

When Ayton plays 2K, he chooses the Golden State Warriors, which obviously makes the game a little easier. Then he turns off the “fatigue” setting, meaning his virtual Kevin Durant, Steph Curry and Klay Thompson never get tired.

To a 2K purist, those choices might appear far too easy. Unfair even.

But maybe Ayton just wants to wipe everyone out, every time.

“Yes, I play with the Warriors. I don’t care,” Ayton said after lighting up the Pac-12 tournament semifinals with 34 points and 14 rebounds against UCLA last Friday, generating laughter among a small group of reporters. “And fatigue is off, so nobody can stop me.

“I don’t care. I make big shots.”

Are Ayton and Booker both allowed to be the Suns here? Is Ayton going to try to take LeBron James and the Lakers if not? How will he respond if fatigue is on and he’s forced to make subs? These are the questions that need to be asked before placing a wager on Ayton.

3. Devin Booker, Phoenix Suns

The odds-on favorite to win the tournament at +350. No one else’s odds are particularly close.

Booker has quite the resume as a gamer. He has competed competitively before. Fans watch him play video games on Twitch and he has already raised $100K for pandemic relief through his streaming. He was playing video games when he found out the season was canceled. His first-round opponent, Michael Porter Jr, acknowledged that Booker is “hardcore” about gaming.

Here’s the problem, though: most of the stories about Booker’s gaming ability focuses on either Call of Duty or Apex Legends. I have no doubt this man knows his way around a set of joysticks, but talent in shooting games doesn’t necessarily translate to talent in 2K.

There’s also the issue of Booker’s character being underrated by the game and him not having a great roster to work with as the Suns. No one will be surprised if he wins the tournament, but he doesn’t feel like a lock to do it.

2. Kevin Durant, Brooklyn Nets

Some positives for Durant: at 96 overall, he has the highest-rated player of anyone competing in the game. He’s also had a lot of free time to play video games as he recovers from an Achilles injury.

Cons: He hasn’t seemed to figure out transition defense.

The transition defense on 2k is the most frustrating thing in my life at this moment

— Kevin Durant (@KDTrey5) February 22, 2020

Much like real life, Durant is so good that any team who has him will have a chance to win it all. He also has a great co-star on his virtual Nets with Kyrie Irving. He’s a threat to go all the way, as long as he can figure out how to stop a fastbreak.

1. Michael Porter Jr., Denver Nuggets

How serious is Porter about 2K? He once took the literal shoes off a man’s feet by beating him in the game.

Who in Denver wanna play 2k for the

— Michael Porter Jr (@MPJr) August 1, 2018

Here’s a quick recap: After posting a tweet looking for challengers, a man said he’d be willing to put up his $800 pair of Jordans in a game, and Porter invited him over to his apartment. Porter couldn’t even wear the shoes — because they were too small for him and because he had signed an endorsement with Puma — but he still took them from the guy.

Our own Denver Stiffs talked to the man and he sounded like he was a serious gamer: “I’m really, really really good at 2K, enough to have maybe lost five times all year so I was extremely confident going in.”

Porter still beat him, then he mocked him on Twitter for the world to see:

Victim #2 lol @RoyalBeatBoxer and look what I won... can’t wear em tho cuz I’m puma gang so I might do a give away pic.twitter.com/VZ4VzKzbge

— Michael Porter Jr (@MPJr) August 1, 2018

Straight savage. Here’s a prediction: whoever wins the first round matchup between Porter and Booker is going to win the tournament. We’ll go with Porter.