#i wanna know if it's just cause I've read it a hundred times

[hurtspideyparker]

Part 3 of if Civil War didn't end in divorce and everyone lived together

Part 1 Part 2

-

Mission debrief:

Thor: Don't feel bad Banner, I mean is there anyone at this table who hasn't killed somebody?

Peter: *slowly raises hand*

Natasha: Don't worry you're still young

Peter: 😟

-

Steve: Has anyone seen my shield?

Clint: *points outside*

*Peter, Thor, and Bucky playing frisbee with it*

Steve: I guess I'm not saving those orphans today :/

-

Clint: Tony I said seedless watermelon, are you trying to kill me?

Tony: You're a big boy, you aren't gonna choke

Clint: No but it might... grow

Tony: Oh please don't tell me you still think watermelon seeds grow inside your stomach if you swallow them

Clint:

Pietro: Bro got a licence to kill but still has a Jack and the Beanstock level of education

-

2:34 am

Tony: *leaving Steve's bedroom*

Sam: *leaving Bucky's bedroom*

Tony:

Sam:

Tony: Let's never speak of this?

Sam: Yep.

-

Steve: Tony, you're the smartest person I know. You understand anything you set out to study, your passion is remarkable, innovation beyond anyone on the planet, and an incredible memory

Tony: Thank you thank you

Steve: So why do you STILL NOT CLOSE THE KITCHEN CABINETS

Tony: Uh

Steve: SOME OF US ARE TALL TONY. SOME OF US HAVE BRUISES ON THEIR FOREHEADS BECAUSE OF THIS NEGLIGENCE

-

Tony: Goodnight kid *tucks Peter into bed and kisses his forehead*

*Clint, Vision, Thor, and Dum-E waiting outside the room*

Tony: Oh come on. All of you?

*nodding*

Tony: Vision you don't even sleep. Dum-E I am not kissing you again you gave me chemical burns last time

Dum-E: *lowers head and whirs sadly*

-

Bucky: Don't sit so close to me

Sam: Why, cause I'm black 🤨

Bucky: No because you smell like ass sweat

Sam:

Sam: Why, cause I'm bl-

-

During training:

Natasha: *flips Steve and slams him onto his back*

Peter: Woah! I wanna know how to do that

Natasha: *flips Peter and slams him onto his back*

Natasha: Seems like you already know how

-

Tony: Okay Merida, you and me, darts for a hundred bucks. My suit vs. your freak self

Clint: I'll take that bet

*7 minutes later*

Tony: I have advanced AI targetting technology. SUPER. SUIT. How did I lose?!

Clint: It can do a lot of things Tony but at the end of the day it can't super suck this di-

-

Bucky: Sam's in medical so I'll do the mission debrief with you

Natasha: That was fast, I thought you'd still be coddling your boyfriend the rest of the day

Bucky: What. How do you know about us.

Natasha: I don't, it was a joke...

Bucky:

Natasha:

Bucky: Damn you really are good at interrogation

-

Bruce: I've taken up puzzles as a hobby. It's actually really relaxing

*Box is missing the last piece*

Bruce: *sighs, erases the 61 under the 'Days Without Hulk Incident' sign*

-

Natasha: Kings

Bucky: Go fish. Sevens?

Natasha: Nada. Fives?

Bucky: Shit. Here

Sam: I thought y'all were playing poker, are you for real playing Go Fish?

Natasha: Our pockets got cleaned out so we quit. The poker game is over by Steve

Peter: HAHA SUCK IT OLD MAN, AMERICA JUST WENT BANKRUPT *pulls giant pile of animal crackers to himself*

-

Steve: Do you want to play catch?

Wanda: What?

Steve: Um. Do you want to watch Hannah Montana?

Wanda: I don't even know what you're talking about

Steve: Maybe I could show you how to brush your teeth?

Wanda: Steve you're really scaring me

Steve: The article said to do it together! *shows phone*

Wanda: Are you getting parenting advice from wikihow? Did you even read it or were you just skimming the pictures

Steve: ...Well why'd they put toothbrushing in the photo if it wasn't a good bonding activity?

-

Sam: Why are your titties so bouncy man. Is it to deflect bullets?

Steve: What did you just say about my chest...

Sam: Hey I call em as I see em, and they're staring right at me.

-

Peter: Yo Mr. Stark wanna see a backflip?

Peter: Oh Cap come see my front handsprings

Peter: Natasha watch this aerial cartwheel!

Tony: Why did you tell him you were in the circus. Now that the idea's in his head all he does is jump around and cause noise complaints from downstairs

Clint: C'mon it's cute! He's talented

Bucky: I'm gonna tell him it doesn't count because he has superpowers and that he's a cheat

Tony: But that'll ruin his confidence

Bucky: God I hope so

[dr-spectre]

Helloooo, just saw the big ol Callie rant and thought I’d share my (albeit not as detailed) thoughts cause the first Splatoon game I played was Splatoon 2 and I took my sweet time on the story mode.

Despite her being your main companion throughout the story mode, I found Marie’s spiteful and clearly discriminatory language towards the Octarians to be consistent overkill, while she was obviously mad about Callie “going missing”, these fellas were only doing their jobs and it was painfully clear that Marie had an inherent dislike for their entire species. Since I hadn’t seen Craig Cuttlefish before I didn’t know that this discrimination came from him, with a distinct parallel between their jabs (aggression being directed and focussed at the Octarian species at a whole rather than the reason you’re here in the first place) and with the fact that I was the one barging in and committing wanton destruction and violence in their territory the universal hate felt incredibly undeserved.

As for Callie, no Squid Sisters songs feel so authentic and genuine as the ones made in Octo Canyon. Even Bomb Rush Blush isn’t trying to sound perfect for any pop lover’s fragile little ears, it’s erratic and fills every silence like a one sided argument. With each song sounding like a vent album and the art showing Callie to be miserable and having to desperately hide it on the surface, she’s seemingly using her distance from Inklings as an opportunity to be completely outwardly honest and express the deeper emotions that wouldn’t be accepted in the media she’s surrounded by. Rather than “I REMEMBER!!!” being some ooga booga the cool glasses magic has been dispelled, I saw it more as Callie accepting these emotions she’d kept from expressing and realising her lifestyle and family meant enough to her that it would be more worth it to try and work through those feelings with them rather than use an outlet that worries them. Additionally, she has quite the opposite view on Octarians to Marie, finding them consistently cute and clearly still being friends with Octavio as they collaborated during the Low Water Party after the events of Octo Expansion (discreet lore but it shows she truly had an enjoyable time there!)

Now I could ramble about DJ Octavio for hours so I will cut this short, while - as you mentioned - Octavio was helping Callie escape the stress of her lifestyle in the interest of his own species, (uh oh the can of worms is threatening to open) insert the fact that Octavio winning means species equality through political negotiations put off for hundreds of years. I know! Oh goodness gracious how terrifying! The spicy beats man has used drastic measures due to neglect and forced poverty of a substantially sized society through giving stressed squid sanctuary! Next he might use his technological advancements in energy efficiency to revolutionise our industrial infrastructure- SHIELD YOUR EYES, CHILDREN!!

oh hey! cheers for reading the full thing!

Oh... oh damn... you just plopped your own rant in here, jesus.

I respect it honestly, i respect the hustle.

You know what's kinda crazy? From my knowledge and what people say online, Marie's hatred for Octarians as a species is a NoA localisation thing and not something in the original Japanese version of Splatoon 2. I could be wrong on that but that's just something I've heard in the grapevine.

Yet another example of poor localisation due to deadlines and rushed development cycles!!! ISNT IT SO FUN HOW IT KEEPS OCCURRING AND HOW PEOPLE BELIEVE IT INCLUDING LOUD VOICES IN THE COMMUNITY AND WIKIS TAKING THE NOA VERSIONS AS THE HOLY GRAIL?!?!?! SO FUN!!!!

(Massive fucking sarcasm.)

I dont have much else to say in response to your ask but, I wanna touch on DJ Octavio for a bit because I think the way that Nintendo treats him as well as the fanbase treats him kinda fucking sucks and flips flops between different personalities and actions he's done.

I swear to god people have such different takes on his personality and what he's done over the three games and it's a real headache to deal with. And the way that a lot of people talk about what he did in Splatoon 2 and the suggestions people say.... ugh... they make him so unredeemable and disgusting.

In Splatoon 1, depending on if you play the NoA version or European/Japanese version, he's either very silly and in your face, making musical puns and being a loud mouth. Or he's trying to be intimating and he gets to the point in his dialogue instead of making musical puns.

The worst things he did in that game was kidnap Cuttlefish and tie him up as bait to fight Agent 3, and stealing the power source for the Inklings. Cuttlefish is a frail old man and Octavio has anger towards him, so it makes sense he would go after him and snatch him up.

And then in Splatoon 2, people wanna fucking say that Octavio kidnapped Callie and brainwashed her, removing all of her memories and making her into a slave for the Octarian army... LIKE... WHAT?!?!?! OCTAVIO IN SPLATOON 1 WASNT THAT EVIL!!! WHY DO PEOPLE SUDDENLY SAY HE DID SOMETHING INCREDIBLY UNREDEEMABLE LIKE THAT?!?! WHY DOES NINTENDO PUSH THAT SHIT TOO?!?! ITS SO ANNOYING!!!!

AND PEOPLE BRING UP THIS PIECE OF CONCEPT ART TOO AND GUYS!!! ITS JUST FUCKING CONCEPT ART!!! ITS NOT CANON!! THERES NO EVIDENCE TO PROVE THAT THIS HAPPENED IN THE REMATCH FIGHTS!!! YOU BRAIN DEAD SONS OF-

You can't just go from "im gonna use Cuttlefish as bait because I hate that guy!" To "neheheh, when Callie isn't looking... I'm gonna grab her and brainwash her!" And then to "IM GONNA GET THAT OLD BASTARD AGAIN! HE TOOK MY ARMY!!!" You can't flip flop between silly old guy wanting vengeance against his lover to enemy Cuttlefish, to a malicious beast that kidnaps young women dude. You can't just do that.

You see the issue here? People give Octavio this ultra dark stain on his legacy and I think it ultimately ruins his redemption in Splatoon 3. He did something unredeemable and you cannot go back from that.

It makes more logical sense for Octavio to use his abilities of propaganda and manipulation out of desperation to convince Callie to join him. Octavio is a general and does things out of rage and vengeance from the past. He is not malicious in his actions and a lot of them can be justifiable. It makes more sense for Octavio to go "I need Callie because my peeps are dying, I'll convince her to join me and then I'll hypnotise her so she's more comfortable in the Octo Canyon to help my troops!"

Octavio is still obviously in the wrong for hypnotising Callie, duh. But, like I've said a trillion times, hypnosis isn't mind control, you cannot force someone to do something against their knowledge and morals. So it's more justifiable for Octavio to hypnotise Callie than to literally kidnap her and brainwash her while she was kicking and screaming, trying to stop him. Okay? WE GOOD SPLATOON COMMUNITY?!?!?!

Ugh.

[ckret2]

after reading your goldie fic I think it’s alright for me to assume that you’re a Mabel liker. And that’s great because I am too!! But, I’m sure you know about the Mabel haters in the fandom and they use reasons such as “she’s selfish” and “doesn’t feel any remorse for causing Weirdmageddon” to justify their hatred for her even more. I just wanna hear your thoughts about these claims and what you think about Mabel haters in general? (also hi hope you’re doing well :))

I think Mabel haters are ridiculous lmao

I've got nothing to say that hasn't already been said by hundreds of other people who think the Mabel hate is ridiculous, but she's no more selfish than any of the other main characters (and also significantly less), pretty much any time during the show that she IS being selfish (Boyz Crazy, Sock Opera) she realizes she's out of line and corrects herself, and honestly I suspect too many people took Bill's deliberately manipulative analysis of her in Sock Opera as the truth instead of asking sensible questions like "wait, why is Dipper keeping the job that lets him hang out with Wendy slightly more than all the time he already spends hanging out with her more important than helping a lost merboy reconnect with his family? Why is that a 'Mabel is selfish' point rather than a 'Mabel guided Dipper into doing the morally right thing' point?"

The only time we fully focused on Mabel long enough to find out whether she regretted being tricked by someone disguised as a friend into starting Weirdmageddon was Escape From Reality... at which point she hadn't been told Weirdmageddon was happening. Once she found out, she kind of spent the rest of the series stopping it?

We have whole episodes dedicated to her inserting herself into other people's lives to try to solve their (personal or romantic) problems, because she can't stand seeing anyone feel bad. We have a whole episode where she has a breakdown about potentially not being a good (enough) person. We have multiple episodes that end with her saying "I'm sorry" to Dipper (and Pacifica, and Candy, and Grenda...) after she recognizes her mistake—which is more than most characters do after realizing their mistakes. Selfishness is not her predominant character trait.

She's got flaws, sure, and anyone is welcome to dislike a character for any reason. I enjoy the fact that she's sometimes kinda obnoxious in a "loud child" way, that she hasn't learned yet when well-intentioned meddling makes things worse, that she's comfortable enough with teasing her brother that sometimes she doesn't realize when her teasing goes too far, that she's afraid of the future because she sees better things for herself in the present that she's scared of losing. Other people might not enjoy those flaws. That's okay.

But when the two biggest criticisms of her are [trait the villain misrepresented to manipulate her brother] and [action the villain misrepresented to manipulate her into doing], people are missing the point.

[unamused-boss]

California Dreaming pt3

Billy Hargrove x Reader

Last part! Warning: Kinda short, but I still hope you love it!

Summary: Max and Billy could only agree on one thing in common.... and that was you. You were their neighbor when the lived in California and Billy had the biggest crush on you. Plus it helped that you babysat, more like hangout with, Max. You were his California dream. And sometimes dreams come true.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You couldn't stand the time you had away from Billy. Your best friend and boyfriend were gone all in one on the same day. You've been writing to Billy which is a plus. Turns out he joined the basketball team. He's been to every party thrown in town, but he says they're all a bust. Met a guy named Munson that gets him weed, but Billy quotes "It's nothing like the shit in Cali...". You can't help but laugh at his sarcastic tones through the letters.

You know he misses it here. He tells you in every letter the love that he holds for you, that nothing will change. He admitted to going on some dates with girl to get you off his mind. He felt guilty, he wanted your forgiveness even though you told him to try an move on to at least have fun. Billy said ,once again, in his letter that he wants no one else but you. Your eyes were something he missed most of all. He said that you had a light in them that he felt only he saw. You always giggled when it came to the gushy stuff in his letters. Billy was a flirt with girls but he was a romantic with you.

Since graduating high school early you've had a lot of time on your hands. You were still gonna walk at graduation, you just weren't going to do anything else. Cause by god you are getting that dumb piece of paper in front of everyone. It was a couple of days before the week up spring break but for you it was a regular working Wednesday. You currently work at some clothing store in the mall and oh so excitedly deal with mother's trying to get some sort of deal out of you.

The time was 5:00pm you are now pulling into your driveway of your house for the night. Happy that your got off early you notice your parents aren't home yet. You make your way down to the mailbox to check for anything. Which you find a bunch of letters piled onto one another. You begin to sift through it.

"Bill, Bill, Coupon, post card from Aunt Shelly, Bill...y." You stop at, what you thought was another bill but was actually, a letter from Billy. You rush up to your front door to be able to read the letter. Throwing everything onto the kitchen table an make your way to your room. You bounce on your bed at tear open the letter...

Hello Y/N, I hope you are happy with what you're doing. I just read your letter. God I wish I could graduate early to get this shit hole. Anyways, Max is doing good. She still with those little balls of snot for friends. Hopefully you wrote her, so she can stop asking me to check the mail for your letters. I miss you very much. Spring break is about to start, since the public pool opened I got a job there. Hopefully I can get enough money to be able to come an see you and to stay with you. You probably already know me, I'm not really good at this writing shit. But if it's for you, I'll do it. I love you, -Billy

You smiled down at the words on the paper.

"I love you too." You said down to the paper. That feeling came back again. The feeling of wanting to see him. You can't help it, you miss him so much. You go over to your landline in the kitchen to lunch in a number you have memorized by heart now.

"Santa Monica airport, what can I help you with today?" The droned out employee said.

"Hey, I wanna know if you have any direct flights to Hawkins Indiana?"

"Hold on, let me check..." You hear a faint typing for a few seconds.

"Anything?" You question.

"None to Hawkins but we have one to Indianapolis flying out this Friday at 5:00am." They said.

"Perfect!" You shouted. "How much?"

"That will be a hundred an thirty dollars..."

"I've got that!" You race around to your purse to fish out your debit card to pay for the ticket. You give them the info to send the ticket via email for you to print out. It would be thirty more dollar but you didn't care.

"Alright, thank you choosing Santa Monica airlines tod-." You didn't even let them finish. You hung up the phone right away to go pack an call off work for the next week or so. You couldn't stop giggling the whole time. Seeing Billy and Max is going to be the best thing to happen to you in the past few months. Then you hear your front door open and shut. Then you realized something...

"Hey mom, I gotta tell you something!" You shouted running out of your room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were honestly shitting your pants the whole way to Hawkins from Santa Monica. You currently stand outside of Hawkins High School waiting for Billy. You slept during your flight over at 5 am but once you were on the ground you couldn't hold still. Your stuff is at the motel just outside of town for the next week.

You passionately waited for Billy to walk out of the school. You could see his car from a mile away. Plus with is reputation it wasn't hard to find out about him. You turned your wrist to look at your watch, 3:15 it read. the bell rang and school was out for spring break. Students passed by you, giving you weird looks.

"Who is that?" "Does Billy know them?" "Probably a desperate Ex." Were some of the things that were thrown around you. As if you couldn't hear the. 'Geez do these people know how to shut up...'

"Billy. Who's that?" An oddly pitchy voice said breaking you out of your thoughts.

Billy ripped his head around to you. You being the last person he would see by his car. The girl he, once had his arm around, was with was now forgotten. Billy thought he was gonna vomit at the sight of you.

"Shit.." You mutter.

"Holy fuck..." He said.

"Billy who is this?" The girl said once again getting annoyed. Billy turned back to her.

"Why are you still here?" He questioned. The girl now looked perplexed. She thought Billy was gonna take her out but now he wants nothing to do with her. Before she could say anything Billy spoke, "Go the hell away. Ya stupid cow..." He muttered the last part.

Billy walked up to you, star struck. He now had you trapped between him and the car with his hands on your hips. Holding you gently. You were smiling up at him.

"What are you doing here?" He asked.

"I wanted to see you." you said. "Is that so bad?" You teased him. When you both could call one another you would constantly tease him over the phone.

"No!" He answered quickly. "It's actually great, cause I was loosing my damn mind being away from you." You giggled at him. He his lips down to your temple, kissing you gently. To the students around you it was shocking to see Billy Hargrove be gentle with anybody. But to you this was your Billy.

"Y/N!!" A familiar voice shouted out to you. You turned to her direction to see Max running full speed to you. You part from Billy momentarily to hug Max.

"Hey MadMax!" You exclaimed. Even though Billy thought Max was a pain in the ass most of the time; he loved seeing you two together. He was happy that she got to see you.

"How long are you here for?" She questioned.

"I'm here for all of spring break." You smiled. They both looked at you dumb founded. You were gonna be with them for a week.

"Yes!" Billy said excitedly, pulling you into a hug. You laughed as he squeezed you.

"How about we go on a date tonight?" You asked him.

"Hell yeah!" He shouted. Crashing his lips onto yours. Desperation and love pouring into the moment. He missed your lips. How soft they were and smooth. He missed you so much.

"ew..." It was faint but you both knew it was from Max.

"Get in the car shit bird." Billy said.

"Hey be nice." You sternly said, mighty sapping his arm. He huffed at you, looking at you with soft eyes. The eye you fell in love with.

"Let's take Max home and we can go on our , much needed, date."

"You took the words right out of my mouth." Billy smiled.And that's how it went for the next week. You spent your time with Billy and Max, well more so Billy. Billy held you so close not wanting to let you go when you both cuddled. You met Max's friends and some more people around Hawkins with your small time there. You had some sleepovers with Max, trying to make up for lost time. Neil wouldn't do anything while you where here in town, so that meant a safe environment for Max and Billy even though it was for a week. You found the town cute, but you prefer Santa Monica.

Most of all, you and Billy got time alone. To be with each other in each others arms. Going on cute dates, walks, drives, everything. You became the envy of the town. The one that swooped Billy Hargrove off hid feet the spring break of 85'. He wouldn't have it any other way though. He would stay in this shithole town if it meant being with you.

When it came time for you to go home, it was full of tears and heart felt kisses. You didn't want to leave them again but you had to.

"Once I graduate I'll be back, I promise." You said.

When it came time for you to go home, it was full of tears and heart felt kisses. You didn't want to leave them again but you had to. 

"Once I graduate I'll be back, I promise." You said.

That promise was made two months ago. In those two months you also visited Billy three more times over the summer. In your last visit you brought him back home with you. To California. You got him far away from his pain. 

You both have an apartment near the beach, like you both wanted. You stared college; while Billy started work at a car restoration shop. Billy could surf everyday while you laid in the sun. You both loved each other even more with every day that passed.

A California dream come true.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I know its a cheesy ending but I hope you like it.

@capitanostella

@maackiimoo

@mystargirl-interlude

[ohdorothea]

This tournament is being run by and for queer fans so please keep that in mind! Homophobes will be blocked on sight <3 More polls here and more info here! Lyrics for the songs and FAQ under the cut!

Electric Touch

Just breathe, just relax, it'll be okay

Just an hour 'til your car's in the driveway

Just the first time ever hangin' out with you tonight

I've got my money on things goin' badly

Got a history of stories ending sadly

Still hoping that the fire won't burn me

Just one time, just one time

All I know is this could either break my heart or bring it back to life

Got a feelin' your electric touch could fill this ghost town up with life

And I want you now, wanna need you forever

In the heat of your electric touch, mmm

I've been left in the rain lost and pining

I'm tryin' hard not to look like I'm trying

'Cause every time I tried hard for love, it fell apart (Woah)

I've gotten used to no one callin' my phone

I've grown accustomed to sleepin' alone

Still, I know that all it takes is to get it right

Just one time, just one time

All I know is this could either break my heart or bring it back to life

Got a feelin' your electric touch could fill this ghost town up with life

And I want you now, wanna need you forever

In the heat of your electric touch, mmm

I was thinking just one time (Just one time)

Maybe the stars align (Just one time)

And maybe I call you mine

And you won't need space

Or string me along while you decide

And just one time (Just one time)

Maybe the moment's right (The moment's right)

It's 8:05 and I see two headlights

All I know is this could either break my heart or bring it back to life

Got a feelin' your electric touch (Ooh)

All I know is this could either break my heart or bring it back to life

Got a feelin' your electric touch could fill this ghost town up with life (Life)

And I want you now, wanna need you forever

In the heat of your electric touch, mmm

🫶🫶🫶

Timeless lyrics

Down the block, there's an antique shop

And something in my head said, "Stop," so I walked in

On the counter was a cardboard box

And the sign said, "Photos: twenty-five cents each"

Black and white, saw a '30s bride

And school lovers laughin' on the porch of their first house

The kinda love that you only find once in a lifetime

The kind you don't put down

And that's when I called you and it's so hard to explain

But in those photos, I saw us instead

And, somehow, I know that you and I would've found each other

In another life, you still would've turned my head even if we'd met

On a crowded street in 1944

And you were headed off to fight in the war

You still would've been mine

We would have been timeless

I would've read your love letters every single night

And prayed to God you'd be comin' home all right

And you would've been fine

We would have been timeless

'Cause I believe that we were supposed to find this

So, even in a different life, you still would've been mine

We would've been timeless

I had to smile when it caught my eye

There was one of a teenage couple in the driveway

Holdin' hands on the way to a dance

And the date on the back said 1958

Which brought me back to the first time I saw you

Time stood still like somethin' in this old shop

I thought about it as I started lookin' 'round

At these precious things that time forgot

That's when I came upon a book covered in cobwebs

Story of a romance torn apart by fate

Hundreds of years ago, they fell in love, like we did

And I'd die for you in the same way if I first saw your face

In the fifteen hundreds off in a foreign land

And I was forced to marry another man

You still would've been mine

We would have been timeless

I would've read your love letters every single night

And run away and left it all behind

You still would've been mine

We would've been timeless

'Cause I believe that we were supposed to find this

So, even in a different life, you still would've been mine

We would've been timeless

Time breaks down your mind and body

Don't you let it touch your soul

It was like an age-old classic

The first time that you saw me

The story started when you said, "Hello"

In a crowded room a few short years ago

And sometimes there's no proof, you just know

You're always gonna be mine

We're gonna be

I'm gonna love you when our hair is turnin' gray

We'll have a cardboard box of photos of the life we've made

And you'll say, "Oh my, we really were timeless"

We're gonna be timeless, timeless

You still would've been mine

We would've been

Even if we'd met on a crowded street in 1944

You still would've been mine

We would've been

The question is which song is queerer to you! Queerer can mean whatever you want it to mean; you might consider a song queer because you think it was written that way, or because of Swiftian lore. It might be queer to you because of how you relate it to your own life. Maybe you think from a purely literary standpoint the lyrics have queer themes; maybe you're just thinking about vibes!!!

Down the block, there's an antique shop

And somethin' in my head said, "Stop," so I walked in

🫶🫶🫶

The question is which song is queerer to you! Queerer can mean whatever you want it to mean; you might consider a song queer because you think it was written that way, or because of Swiftian lore. It might be queer to you because of how you relate it to your own life. Maybe you think from a purely literary standpoint the lyrics have queer themes; maybe you're just thinking about vibes!!!

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Wasted 9

Warnings: drug dealing/use, violence, noncon, and the usual. Proceed with caution.

(Yes I'm procrastinating rn)

Feedback is always welcome. Love you and thanks for the wonderful responses so far.♥♥♥♥

The other girl in this one is from Black Light

Part of The Club AU

You sit behind the glass and yawn in the deathly din of the transit office. You lazily scroll a finger over your phone. The brief rush has dissipated so now you're free to read old forums about the cult classic show you've been bingeing.

Despite your hours being cut, every shift feels too long. The time is dull as most people buy their passes online or get tickets at a kiosk in the mall. So you work is minimal and the pay even less. Not to mention, your patience.

You lean your chin in your hand and press your finger to your lashes, trying to keep the old mascara from stinging your eyes. The chirp of the sensor has you sitting up and you nearly bite your tongue as you try to greet the customer. Not him!

“Closed,” you lie and reach for the metal gate above, struggling to clasp onto the handle.

“Hours say–”

“Get the fuck out, dude,” you snarl and hop, rolling down the grate and slamming it into place.

You swear as it hits your phone, knocking it through the small slot under the glass partition, locking it out and you in. You lock the bottom, not caring about the burner. Fuck it, you only ever text Snicky.

“Come on, doll,” Bucky stops by your phone, bending to pick it up, “how many of these you lost so far?”

He wiggles the phone at you, am eighty dollar Polaroid piece of shit.

“Leave me alone.”

“Ah, what's happened to customer service these days?” He tuts and comes closer, shoulder broad and rolling. “Look, I'm not here for me, right?” He tucks your phone in his jacket pocket, “my friend, Steve, the string bean, he likes you.”

“I don't fucking know you. Or him. And I don't wanna know you–”

“You don't? Cause I think I got to know you pretty well–”

“Fucking ass–”

“Let's not keep going through this, alright? Now, I've been pretty damn nice. Do you know how much you can learn from a phone? I know you're about thirty-seven dollars in overdraft and your Instagram keeps popping up with pictures of that dumb girl that hangs off you.”

“How, I–”

“Locked me out? You think,” he taps on the glass on the other side of the gate, “what if I made you a deal?”

“I'm not into the hard stuff,” you scoff.

“Didn't seem to mind it,” he winks, “maybe coulda gone for something lighter…”

“What do you want?” You bark.

“Alright, alright, like I said, it's not me,” he smirks, his gaze creeping up and down your figure. “My friend, he's got no luck with the girls. Told me you stood up for him. That's sweet despite… being you.”

“So you wanna be my pimp? Oh, fuck off–”

“A date. That's it.” His hand tightens in his pocket, gripping your phone. “Humour him. He's been moping about you all week.”

“Yeah right, I'm not stupid–”

“You won't see me. Really, I got plans. Saturday's are good for business, not worth the cut.”

Your nostrils flare. You want to be done with it, him, that club, and all the losers who hang out there. You bite down and cross your arms, glaring at him.

“How about… three hundred?” He offers. “Up front.”

He shifts and pulls the phone out of his pocket. He sets it before the slot in the window then reaches into his back pocket. He takes out his wallet and counts several bills.

“He'll pay for dinner. He's the old fashioned type, you know? Just wear something sexy.”

You scowl, furrowing your nose as your mouth dries. You can't believe you're even considering this. Are you that low?

Well, hes offering as much as you get in a week and the last chunk of your rent. So yes, you are.

“Saturday?” You ask crisply.

“Seven,” he slides the money and phone against the bottom of the gate, “I'll send you the time and place.”

“If I even hear your name–”

“Relax,” he backs up, “I got mine. Just take it easy on my pal.” He smirks and uns his thumb along his bottom lip, “he's a virgin.”

“You're nasty.”

“Oh I know I'm just your type but he's better for you,” he chuckles and turns, stalking to the door, “and if you don't show, I'll be back to collect and trust,” he pauses, “I always get what I'm owed.”

The door swings shut and you stare after him. Slowly you look down and unlock the gate. You push it up and reach for the phone and the bills. The skinny one can’t cause you that much trouble, can he?

[shallyne]

I Can Do It With A Broken Heart (Rhysand's Version)

TW: implied abuse (Amarantha)

I can read your mind

"He's having the time of his life"

There in his glittering prime

The lights refract sequined stars off his silhouette every night

I can show you lies

'Cause I'm a real tough kid, I can handle my shit

They said, "Babe, you gotta fake it 'til you make it" and I did

Lights, camera, bitch smile, even when you wanna die

She said she'd use me all her life

and that life was too long

Breaking down, I hit the floor

All the pieces of me shattered as the crowd was chanting, "Whore"

I'm still grinning like I'm winning, I am wearing my mask

'Cause I can do it with a broken heart

I'm so depressed, I act like it's my birthday every day

I'm so obsessed with her but she avoids me like the plague

I cry a lot but I am so productive, it's an art

You know you're good when you can even do it

With a broken heart

I can hold my breath

I've been doing it since she came

I keep seeing her in the throne room

Crucial evidence, I didn't imagine the whole thing

I'm sure we can pass this test

'Cause I'm a real tough kid, I can handle my shit

They said, "Babe, you gotta fake it 'til you make it" and I did

Lights, camera, bitch smile, being cruel for miles

She said she'd use me for all time

And that time was too long

Breaking down, I hit the floor

All the pieces of me shattered as the crowd was chanting, "Whore"

I'm still grinning like I'm winning, I am wearing my mask

'Cause I can do it with a broken heart

I'm so depressed, I act like it's my birthday every day

I'm so obsessed with her but she avoids me like the plague (she avoids me)

I cry a lot but I am so productive, it's an art

You know you're good when you can even do it

With a broken heart

You know you're good when you can even do it

With a broken heart

You know you're good, I'm good

'Cause I'm miserable

And nobody even knows

Try and come for my court

The Archer (Feyre's Version)

Combat, I'm ready for combat (UTM)

I say I don't want that, but what if I do?

'Cause cruelty wins in the movies

I've got a hundred thrown-out speeches I almost said to you

Easy they come, easy they go

I jump from the train, I ride off alone

I never grew up, it's getting so old

Help me hold onto you

I've been the archer

I've been the prey

Who could ever leave me, darling?

But who could stay?

Dark side, I search for your dark side

But what if I'm alright, right, right, right here?

And I cut off my nose just to spite my face

Then I hate my reflection for years and years

I wake in the night, I pace like a ghost

The room is on fire, invisible smoke

And all of my heroes die all alone.

Help me hold onto you

I've been the archer

I've been the prey

Screaming, who could ever leave me, darling?

But who could stay?

(I see right through me, I see right through me)

'Cause they see right through me

They see right through me

They see right through

Can you see right through me?

They see right through

They see right through me

I see right through me

I see right through me

All the king's horses, all the king's men

Couldn't put me together again

'Cause all of my enemies started out friends

Help me hold onto you

I've been the archer

I've been the prey

Who could ever leave me, darling?

But who could stay?

(I see right through me, I see right through me)

Who could stay?

Who could stay?

Who could stay?

You could stay

You could stay

You

Combat, I'm ready for combat (King of Hybern)

For @officialfeysandweek

[snippychicke]

I have a question!

You can answer this if you want if you don't than that fines but! I really really wanna know

.....how would balam be like when he's jealous?

Maybe specifically if he was jealous cause of reader smelt different than usual(before they were courting)

And other demons assume that they were courting another demon?!

When in reality reader has picked up making perfumes from plants after reading about it. (Surprisingly smelling like a powerful demon and having a resting bitch face when annoyed can make netherworld plants very obedient)

Please i would very much like your thoughts on this idea if you can't again thats fine. I am a really big fan of for the sake of a smile you are doing an amazing job on it. Please drink water, sleep well and always have a balanced meal.

Thank you and good night/day

Heya Anon! Thank you so much for your prompt! And for your flattery! As you know it will get you anywhere. 

Or at least a little side drabble. I'm not a hundred percent sure it was what you were aiming for, but it's what came out of my head. So enjoy!

Opera's words had rang in your ear from Walter park, and despite Balam's assurance that you didn't smell bad,  the thought of having a scent so powerful it could be detected across the sprawling amusement park did not sit well with you. 

So, during the next semester while everyone else was focused on the Harvest festival and then the Music Festival, and your mana was worn from trying out Runes, you researched something different. 

Perfume. 

Unlike Runes, there was a plethora of texts on perfumes and scent-based magic. A lot had to deal with seduction, but it was more the deception aspect that had your interest. 

After all, you wanted to deceive the whole Netherworld into believing you were a demon, and not a delicious human. 

The endeavor had you visiting Raim between her classes.

"You want to smell different?" The demon asked, looking rather perplexed before smiling. "Oh, I see. Trying to catch a certain Gargoyle's attention, are we?"

"No," You grounded out. "I… I don't know how to explain it other than I don't want to be so noticeable." 

Her fingertips caressed your cheek before settling beneath your chin, encouraging you to look at her eyes. "Darling, who ever told you being noticed was a bad thing? It is a natural power that we hold over those who feel even the slightest hint of attraction. What you want is that they are so awed by your beauty they fail to see the knife you wield." 

Which might work for seductive demons, but was definitely not what you were looking for. But she did point you in the right direction. 

And also towards Suzy. 

"Interesting combination," The small demon hummed as you followed her into the greenhouse.  "And you said you wanted to make a perfume?"

"Yeah. It's, uh, a long story." 

Suzy chuckled. "Believe me dear, I've heard it all. But to be the most potent for your scent, you'll want to harvest these yourself. If I harvest them for you, my mana would taint whatever magical properties you intend for it to have."

Every time you thought you understood the Netherworld, it revealed yet another layer. Perfume here wasn't just something that smelled pretty. It could be laced with magical properties, pheromones, and whatever else. A person's scent was as identifying as their appearance and sometimes more.  

It was a gamble, you realized - but one you were willing to take. Especially after facing down a flower that was a monstrous version of a dandelion and a man eating venus flytrap with nothing but a harsh glare and a set of pruning shears. 

--+--

You were fairly certain you messed up. You had decided to create your perfume in the Library's office, which felt more like brewing a potion. To you it smelt light, pleasant, and far different then Sullivan's cologne. 

But the looks you were getting made you wonder if you were missing something. Some looked rather surprised, others were giving you knowing grins and thumbs up. 

But it was Balam's reaction that made you doubt the most. As soon as he saw you in the hall, his dark eyes widened, his muscles tensing so much you could easily notice. He crossed the distance between you in a near instant, and you braced yourself, expecting him to pick you up into a hug as usual.

Except he paused just a few feet from you, looking very uncomfortable and confused. 

"Uh, is everything… okay?" You asked softly as he continued to stand there, studying you as if you had grown a second head or something. 

"Fine," He answered, sounding as if things were not fine. "Are you… is everything okay with you? Anything… new?" 

"N-not really?" You answered, anxiety bubbling in your gut. Why was he acting so odd? Surely it wasn't just because you switched scents. 

His eyes narrowed, and before you could probe to find out what was bothering him, he grabbed your hand and pulled you to a nearby empty classroom, making sure you were alone. "Balam…"

"Do you know how dangerous this could be?" He interrupted as he knelt before you. "I mean, what-what if they discover you're human? What if they hurt you? Or Iruma? I mean, caring for children from other relationships isn't typical for demons. How did this even happen? Did-did they force you? I promise, I can protect you. Both you and Iruma. Or… Or if you don't want me, Lord Sullivan…" 

You cupped his cheeks, unable to press your finger to his lips to silence him considering his mask. Still, the gesture achieved silence as he froze, his cheeks slowly turning pink. 

"Balam. I have no idea what you are talking about," You said slowly and clearly, hoping it would help him calm down from the panic he had worked himself into. 

"Your scent," He explained after a moment, his cheeks turning an even darker shade "It-it smells like you mated with another demon." 

It was your turn to blush, "W-what?! That-that is not at all what I wanted!" Oh god. All those looks in the hall. It was a walk of shame and you could never show your face again. 

You groaned as you covered your face. "No no no! I double checked the ingredients! To ward off interest, to hide another scent, it was supposed to be a replacement for Sullivan's cologne!" 

"It's… it's fake?" There was a hint of relief in his voice. He pulled you into his arms, and you found yourself nestled in his lap as he sat on the floor. His mask was pressed to join between your neck and shoulder, the cold metal contrasting with the hot breath escaping through the vents. The knot in your stomach shifted into something else as his hands wrapped around your waist, holding you still. You unconsciously held your breath, well aware of how red your face had to be from how hot you felt.

Your hands rested on his chest to support your balance, though it felt risqué in your position. Though, it meant you could feel him relax after a moment. But if you thought he would pull away, you were sorely mistaken. If anything, he pulled you closer until your chest was flush with his arms wrapping around you as he pressed his face against the crook of your neck. 

"Balam?" You whispered and received no response after a moment of silence. "...Shichiro?" 

It was the first time you said his given name, which felt taboo. Yes, you were friends, but not that close… right? 

He continued to be silent, but squeezed you a little tighter. As if… as if he was afraid you'd run away, or disappear. You sighed softly at the realization, and started to run your fingers down the back of his neck and shoulders in a hopefully soothing manner. You were still confused as to why he was acting like this, but no matter what the cause was, you felt compelled to comfort him. 

"It's okay," You soothed, allowing yourself to rest against him. "I'm sorry, it's just Opera's words from Walter park just… kinda stuck in my head. Humans have a thing against being… stinky. I just wanted to smell… nicer. I mean, I did my research and everything, so I don't understand…"

"You said humans can't smell pheromones, right?" He mumbled against you, his breath causing shivers to run down your spine and heat to bloom in your loins. All you could do was nod, untrusting of your voice at the moment. "Whatever you used mimicked the pheromones of a demon who had a… a mate."

"I get that," You confirmed, embarrassment threatening to overwhelm you. "I just…" Why was he so bothered?  

"I was worried someone took advantage of you," He answered after a moment. "That, for whatever reason, you… you…"

Oh

Oh.

You laughed through your nerves. "Oh Devi, no! I know having an…intimate relationship with anyone is off the table. I resigned myself to that fact a while ago." Not that thoughts still didn't haunt you, dreams full of desire and passion. 

Starring a certain demon in particular

There was another long moment of silence, his hands slowly rubbing your back and sides in the way he was prone to do. Despite knowing he didn't mean anything by it, the action didn't help the situation any as you resisted the urge to arch into him. Your gutter mind was happy to imagine those large hands grazing bare skin. His warm breath was replaced by soft lips and grazing fangs, making you clench your jaw.

Damn overactive imagination.

"If… if you need anything, please," He finally spoke. "I'd be happy to assist you." 

You tried to beat your gutter mind back, insisting that he didn't mean it like that. He meant making a new perfume, likely. Or just a blanket statement. It was not at all related to your previous discussion. 

"You're the sweetest," You whispered before pressing a kiss to his forehead. "I couldn't ask for a better friend."

[blackstarchanx3new]

Four Swords Returns 187-191

The death scene re-write because I feel the OG is rushed and goofy and this is my AU so there's cannon divergence.

A bit of a rant under the cut about some choices I made in these pages I won't save for "FSR rambles".

Hot spicey meatball take: Vio deserved to hold this man once while he died I just cannot fathom why they let him lie on the ground. Did Nintendo say "Nah Akira you've made em too fucking fruity this comic he can't hold him while he dies" I genuinely don't understand the awkward direction otherwise for that scene. She got chastised for stupider things from what I saw in some of the interviews lmfao

Also, I'm a real stickler when I think Vio should cry. Because 99% of the time I've seen fan content where he cries I go "...I don't think he'd do that here"

Like I'm of the opinion you have to emotionally OBLITERATE this man before he sheds a tear and he's the type who doesn't realize he's crying and when he does he starts to ugly sob because that's hilarious.

"WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME!?!?!"

"Vio that's crying, you're crying."

"BALLS, IT FEELS AWFUL! HOW DO YOU DO THIS ALL THE TIME!?"

No shade if you do write him crying, I've stated a hundred times my opinions are formed of MY reading of the manga and shouldn't dictate what fan content you make. Demanding otherwise would be fucking stupid.

I will point out just cause it's interesting: He literally only cried ONCE in the manga that I caught while re-reading it a million times and its when Green almost broke his fucking foot. He's pretty stoic otherwise.

I do think he deserves to be able to cry over someone he cares about tho lmfao. Also this is will be fun in FSR later...Muhahahaha.

Also I get to retcon Vaati's "death".

And I straight up don't wanna hear no sentiments of "if Vaati didn't truly die Shadow Link's sacrifice was meaningless" crap cause uh...Nah they were getting their asses Beat in the quote retweets- HANDED to them on a silver plater, would have fucking LOST if he didn't break the mirror regardless if it killed him here or not lmfao and they wouldn't have been able to part the dark clouds to save Zelda and ya know...WIN.

My point is: Shadow still saved their asses here regardless of the "Vaati lived actually" retcon in FSR.

Also, made Shadow have cracks in his skin cause he broke mirror hur-de-durr funny art thingy go brrr also visible representation of him dying cause I didn't feel like making him go transparent that is a pain in the ass.

[amethystviolist]

holy shit you wrote so much since march??? that is so fucking impressive!! and hey, creating things for older fandoms is the best, it's always good to see people still keeping them alive. now when you give updates i will finally know whats it about :'D would you wanna give a summary of the fic's premise?

Thank you for the appreciation and the ask again! Yeah I went kinda crazy with it lol; I slowed down to a more normal rate again in May, thankfully.

And sure! It's not a terribly original premise I'm afraid, and I don't have a real blurb yet, but basically, the fic revolves around Bilbo being a dragon with a limited ability to shapeshift. I've read multiple dragon!Bilbo works (and enjoyed them!), but I wanted to do a pretty different take on dragons compared to canon Tolkien or other fanfics I've read.

A teaser might be something like: Five hundred year old former dragon Bilbo Baggins has successfully kept his private vow of peaceful hobbitish living for fifty years when Gandalf turns up with an inviting offer of adventure and less-than-inviting dwarvish company. Bilbo is forced to weigh his need to protect his new friends against his fear of discovery every step of the way to the mountain, and by the time he realizes some secrets are truly too big to keep, Bilbo will have to decide exactly how much a dragon is willing to sacrifice for the dwarves of Erebor.

So for the conception of the fic, Tolkien's dragons are of course based on medieval epics where they're no more than cunning, cruel, and greedy creatures, and while that simplicity can be a good narrative tool, I got interested in the Middle Earth creation of dragons and then what else they might be besides vehicles for plot or embodiments of evil.

From extant theories on their creation (I'm skipping a lot of details on that or we'll be here all day!), I got really into my own take on draconic culture in Middle Earth, and then really into exploring Bilbo's trauma from his draconic past and how he's handling it as a hobbit (spoiler: he's just avoiding it). His canon character arc takes a naive bachelor to worldly adventurer, but my fic starts him from a place of power already. Dragon!Bilbo knows evil intimately and so he's terrified of himself. His arc instead involves accepting all parts of himself and allowing himself to really live again, and of course there's a lot of secrets and lying and oh god feelings that he has to deal with along the way.

Anyway, at its emotional core, the mega fic is about identity and self-acceptance/forgiveness. At its plot core, it's about keeping a terrible secret from thirteen people you want to befriend and how that causes a lot of interesting problems. I've written all the way through canon events (which are definitely more guidelines than rules, considering the impacts of Bilbo's true heritage) and am now in the murky waters of post-canon. I've got an outline and am working through it now. Post-canon deals mainly with the aftermath of a major sacrifice during BotFA (no spoilers!), and then what to do with the One Ring.

If you've read this far, thank! If you're still interested, please enjoy a little early excerpt below.

“‘Bilbo Baggins’, is it?” a deep voice read out.

The hobbit by that name, a middle-aged and bronze-haired fellow with a green waistcoat and a pipe in his mouth, looked up from the book on his lap and startled quite violently. 

“Gandalf,” Bilbo gasped, barely saving the book before it fell to the ground. The wizard in question was standing by his front gate and frowning at Bilbo’s nicely-labeled mailbox, his brow tight with confusion.

“My old friend, what in the names of the Valar are you still doing here?” Gandalf asked, sounding as genuinely surprised as Bilbo had ever heard him. 

“Ah.” Bilbo shifted a little on his nicely cushioned bench. “Well, you’ve been away for quite some time… I daresay I’ve changed quite a lot since we last met.”

“On that, we are agreed,” Gandalf replied, and stared at Bilbo as if trying to see through his very bones.

“Er, do come inside,” Bilbo invited him politely, and got to his feet. “I’ve got a kettle on, and some biscuits which aren’t too terribly burned.”

“A real achievement for one of your kind,” Gandalf chortled, until Bilbo shot him a glare. The wizard hurriedly quieted his amusement and let himself in the gate, following Bilbo up the grassy steps and through the green door that led to Bag End.

As soon as Bilbo closed the round door, he found himself unexpectedly nervous. He had nothing to fear from Gandalf, of course, but his situation was… inexplicably odd.

“So,” Bilbo began a little more hesitantly then he would have liked to admit, “What… brings you to the Shire?”

Gandalf fixed Bilbo with a disgruntled stare. “I was seeking you, of course! Imagine my surprise when I found your old caves deserted, your books and blankets all gone! I thought you’d been slain, and your treasures carried off, and yet somehow no one I asked knew anything about a-”

“Yes, yes, alright!” Bilbo interrupted with a suspicious glance out the nearest window. “I appreciate your concern, but not so loudly! I’m treated with enough suspicion as it is,” the hobbit grumbled, and motioned for Gandalf to follow him through the halls of Bag End until they reached the pantry, which was windowless and had two doors with sturdy locks. Bagginses of course protected their food well, as any respectable hobbit would, but Bilbo had also found that it was an excellent space for less-than-respectable happenings. 

Which he himself had no prior experience with, naturally.

“Olórin,” Bilbo breathed after he had lit a candle and closed both doors, sealing the wizard into the wide room. “My friend, it’s good to see you! I was going to send word, but I had no idea how a letter would reach you. You’re not called the Wandering Wizard for nothing, it seems,” Bilbo said with an amused smile.

“You could have left a note in the northern Blue Mountains!” Gandalf complained, shaking his head. “I had to fight my way through three dozen goblins before I found the levels where you used to reside.”

Bilbo gave him an unimpressed look, for only three dozen goblins were no match for one of the Istari at full strength, and they both knew it.

“It was an annoyance,” Gandalf amended at Bilbo’s expression. “And more importantly, it caused me no small amount of worry for your well-being.”

“Well, I didn’t mean to worry you. But you also could have come back sooner,” Bilbo said rather stiffly. He found himself compulsively organizing the jars of jam by size, until he realized he was acting a bit too much like Bungo and tried to stop fidgeting. “Belladonna and Bungo offered me their home and their name as my own, and Bag End is a much better place for reading than my old drafty caverns. It would have been ridiculous for me to refuse their kind offer.”

“And how are the dear Bagginses?” Gandalf asked, his eyes crinkling happily. “It’s been far too long since I’ve seen them…” The wizard trailed off. His countenance sobered all too quickly as he saw that Bilbo’s expression had turned cold and stony, his hands stilling on the many jars of jam. “Oh. Oh, I see,” he murmured. “I’m terribly sorry to hear that, my friend. I know how much they meant to you.”

The pantry was unbearably silent for a time.

“We shared books,” Bilbo finally said very quietly, and Gandalf looked so shocked that Bilbo would have surely found it amusing under other circumstances.

“Indeed,” Gandalf finally managed, eyeing Bilbo with fresh concern. 

The room was once again silent, and Bilbo shook his head to clear it. “My loss is not the reason you’ve come, though,” he said after a long moment, glaring at an innocent wheel of cheese, for anger was better to keep moving on with than sorrow. But he forced himself to gentle his gaze somewhat to look back up at Gandalf. “Is this merely a social call, then?”

Gandalf’s lips quirked back up into a typically mysterious smile. “I’m afraid not. In fact, I came looking for you to share in an adventure.”

“Adventure?” Bilbo snorted loudly, and ignored the twin wisps of smoke that emerged from his nostrils. “Gandalf, please, I’m far too old for such nonsense. Surely you have many other - and far more pleasant! - options for traveling companions.”

“I’m not going on a walking holiday,” Gandalf corrected him with a huff, now looking rather put out. “I’m escorting a third party on a quest to reclaim their homeland, and your skill set would be most helpful on this dangerous journey.”

“My ‘skill set’?” Bilbo repeated incredulously. “And what exactly is that supposed to mean? My ‘skills’ primarily consist of reading voraciously and offending the delicate sensibilities of my neighbors.”

The wizard fixed him with a piercing, knowing look. “We both know you’re more than a simple hobbit, my old friend.”

Bilbo scowled as fiercely as this face allowed, and crossed his arms in annoyance. “Maybe I don’t want to be more than a simple hobbit anymore,” he said sharply. “Has it ever occurred to you that I am safe and comfortable here, in this form, in this life? I’m Bilbo Baggins now. I’ve changed, Gandalf, and I don’t want to be… who I was. I’m nothing like that anymore, and have vowed to never be again.”

Gandalf’s blue eyes twinkled a little, and he nodded once. “Very well. Bilbo... I understand your feelings on the subject.” He pointed one gnarled finger at Bilbo, and added firmly, “But this will be very good for you.” With that cryptic pronouncement, Gandalf turned and unlocked one of the pantry doors, knocking his head on the low doorframe and cursing to himself as he hastily exited.

“Gandalf!” Bilbo exclaimed, his annoyance now tainted by his damn curiosity. “What do you mean? I will not be going with you on any sort of mad adventure, and I mean it! I couldn’t leave my hoard for that long as you should well know!” He ran after Gandalf, who was finding his way to the front door much too quickly.

“I expect I’ll be seeing you again soon,” Gandalf said instead of offering any kind of explanation. “Do try not to incinerate anyone while I’m away.”

“Pfft, incinerate anyone,” Bilbo scoffed. “You’re the only one in danger of that, Gandalf the Grey! Stop running away and tell me what you meant by that! Ah, you confounding-”

Bilbo tripped on the upturned edge of a rug (undoubtedly Gandalf’s fault, as so many things were) and tumbled most ungracefully to the floor. By the time the hobbit had regained his feet, the wizard was long gone, his gray-clad form hurrying down the path away from Bag End.

“Blasted, meddlesome wizards,” Bilbo muttered, not for the first time and certainly not for the last.

[If you've read this far, please let me know! I'll be wanting a beta reader probably at some point, or someone to bounce ideas off of would be lovely as well.]

[p4nishers]

i don't know if you even posted about it but

which discworld books have you read already?? and maybe you have some favourites like I STRONGLY SUSPECT THAT IT'S NIGHT WATCH but what if im absolutely wrong..please share

anon i will lay my life down for you i've been waiting for this for so so long (literally since november. but whatever)

so. from the rincewind series i've only read the last continent and unseen academicals bc reasons. one of them being is that i am weirdly passionate about the ridcully/bursar ship only i care about and they're developed enough characters by those books for me to actually have something to ship. i can't think of other reasons but. they're there definitely i promise. oh yeah unseen academicals was by FAR my fav from the two but i found the ending a little eh so i dont consider that one a FAVORITE favorite. but its still insanely fucking good.

then i've read all of the witches novels except equal rites and that's only cause i was listening to the audiobook and then i forgot where i left off and i just didn't finish it. anyway the clear winner for me is and always will be carpe jugulum and it's DEFINITELY one of my top 3 discworld books. like i know you didn't ask for this to be a hundred pages long but fuck me that BOOK. i could write ESSAYS. also wyrd sisters is a fucking masterpiece and i wont hear a WORD against it. thank you.

all of the death books expect thief of time and i honestly i just dont want to end the series yet so i'm still putting it off. give me some time. favorites from that hmm well hogfather DUH but also reaper man. listen man it's about found family it's about bill door it's about death giving his TIME for a little girl it's about I NEVER WORE A CROWN YOU NEVER WANTED TO RULE it's THE FIRST FUCKING TIME WE MEET REG SHOE also the wizards are fucking GREAT in that one i just love it. not top 3 material but definitely a comfort read.

from the watch books i've read up to thud! which i'm still half way thru bc i'm not ready to move on from night watch like i had to listen to it on audiobook two days after i've first read it bc it just sucks you in man. does NOT let go. and yeah you're so so so right and true about night watch being one of my absolute favorites that book changed me as a person i'm still definitely not over it. like at all. also feet of clay and fifth elephant will always ALWAYS be my children and have my heart for obvious reasons (cheery. its cheery).

from the moist books i only have raising steam left and yes again im putting it off bc i dont wanna finish the series whatever dont look too deep into my issues

uh. shit this is so fucking long ok sorry. from tiffany novels i've read up to wintersmith and so far the wee free men is my absolute favorite i cried so much reading that book it's embarrassing.

small gods was my very first discworld novel and let me fucking tell you man absolutely HILARIOUS place to start when you dont know shit about the world building that's all im gonna say. also it's just so fucking good it's insane to me like yeah maybe it's not as funny as the others but the way terry wrote about faith and gods and devotion and the church and ugghh. (sidenote i read an brutha/om fic a few weeks ago that changed my fucking LIFE im being so so serious rn that was a masterpiece)

and i think the only one left is the truth which is in my opinion one of the best written discworld books from what i've read and definitely in my top 3. like otto chriek would be enough to convince me and THEN there's mr tulip's backstory and william confronting his dad (man that scene where william gives his father thousands of dollars to pay back for what he "cost" him over his life. anyone got reminded of that one ladybird scene? yeah.) and it's just like the best thing you've ever read.

im so sorry this got so long im insane i hope u got some kind of answer out of it

[xxizombiexx]

Y/n the Vampire Pirate has a crush on Zoro!

Summery-In which Y/n agrees to join the Straw Hat Pirates because she saw a certain green haired man.

Warnings-cursing, blood, VAMPIRE!PIRATE!Reader, Fluff

A/n- this is my first time writing on tumblr, so please be kind! Also if you want to check out my other stories, my Wattpad is GirlWhoWrites09, thanks for reading!

Blood ran down her chin, as she sucked the blood of the enemy who tried to attack her. She groaned in satisfaction, as she throws her head back, with closed eyes. "I haven't eaten in days" she thought to herself. She honestly couldn't remember when the last time she ate was.

"Hey!" A voiced yelled out, causing her eyebrows to fur together in confusion. "Hey you!" Whoever it was again. The girl let out sort of a angry growl as she looked up at the boy who was shouting at her. "Who are you?" She asked, quite angerly. Y/n let go of the, now dead, man, and stood up, placing her hands on her hips.

"I'm Monkey D. Luffy! And I'm gonna be King of the Pirates!" 'Luffy' yelled once more. Y/n tilted her head and looked at Luffy.

"'King of the Pirates'? Kid, I don't wanna burst your bubble, and no offense, but that's nearly impossible." She stated. Luffy just laughed, causing Y/n to have a ick mark on her face. "I'm serious kid!" Y/n shouted. "I've been searching for the one piece for years!" Obviously this kid doesn't know what the hell he is talking about. I've been around for hundreds of years and yet I've never found that stupid One Piece yet! "Anyways, what the hell did you need me for? To get on my nerves?"

Luffy, who had tears in his eyes, now calmed down from his laughing fit. "I want you to join my crew!" He exclaimed. "I saw your moves and I got to say they're pretty cool!" Luffy said with a big smile on his face. Suddenly, four other people walked up behind the Straw Hat Pirate. A girl with orange hair, a guy with yellow hair, a guy with brow hair, and--a man with green hair. Y/n blushed at the sight of him. He's--so handsome! Y/n thought as she practically drooled over him. He carried three swords with him, and had a dark green band tired around his head.

Unfortunately, Y/n had to decline this offer. "Uh, no thanks." Y/n said, a she began to walk away. Not like she wanted to join anyways. She had her own adventures that needed to be taken care of. "Hey! Wait!" Luffy yelled chasing after her. "Come on! Just think about it!"

"I said no!" Y/n said, slapping the pirate upside the head. "You don't even know who I am!" She crossed her arms in anger, stopping herself from attacking this poor boy. "Oww" luffy mumbled, rubbing his head. "What if we treated her to a drink instead of begging?" The green haired man suggested. "And you can talk about it there." He said. Luffy then smiled his big smile again. "Hey! Great idea Zoro!" So his name is Zoro? And he's in this boy's crew, huh? "Hm, Fine." Y/n agreed.

Y/n couldn't help but to stare at the green haired man named Zoro. Especially how much hotter he was when he took off that dark green band off. There was just something about him. "Who are you staring at?" Luffy asked, taking a bite of his apple. "Wait- are you staring at Zoro?" He asked a little too loudly. Y/n clenched her teeth together, causing her fangs to stick out. She shoved the rest of the boy's apple in his mouth, in attempts to shut him up. "Oh!" Exclaimed the orange haired girl name Nami. "We've been meaning to ask--Who are you?" Y/n smiled to herself and stood up from her seat.

"I'm Y/n L/n, the Vampire Pirate!" She exclaimed, placing a booted foot on her chair. Luffy eyes widened when he heard the word 'Pirate'. Zoro scoffed saying "There's no such thing as a vampire." Y/n blushed at his words--more like at him..? "Well there is! And that's me!"

"That's perfect!" Shouted Luffy. "Please join my crew!" He was practically begging at this point. Y/n bit her lip thinking to herself. "Hm, are all of you in this 'crew'?" And by 'all of you' she meant Zoro. Everyone nodded their heads. "He's our captain." Zoro said. "F-Fine." She muttered, sitting back down. Luffy cheered out of happiness. Another member of his crew!

Y/n watched as Zoro sat on the edge of the boat, looking out to the waters. She she fidgeted with her fingers, debating on wether or not she wanted to go out and talk to him. "Are you just going to stand there? Or do you want to join me?" He asked. Y/n looked around, seeing if he was talking to someone else, but there wasn't anyone else there. Y/n gave a shakey sigh and walked up to the ledge he sat on. "Hi." She chuckled, looking at up him. He looked so handsome looking out into the sea like that. "I-I like your hair. I've never seen anyone with green hair. And I've been around for a long time." She said, after a minute of silence. Zoro chuckled and looked towards her. "Thanks." He said, looking into her eyes. "I like your eyes. Never seen anyone with red eyes."

Y/n blushed at his complement, and looked down at her hands. Zoro slid over, and patted the spot next to him, inviting the vampire to sit next to him. She looked at him with her mouth opened a little before climbing onto the ledge. He then put an arm around her shoulder. Her blush didn't go away, infact she got even more redder. Zoro chuckled once more at the state the girl was in.

The Straw Hat Pirates had now set sail out in the ocean! With another member, they set off to the grand line looking for the One Piece!

[eisforeidolon]

Question: My question is, the three of us [her and her besties] have been watching a certain daytime serial since we were thirteen -

Jared: Lucky Charms? [does a little dance, checks to see if Jensen was watching]

Question: Yes, let's call it Lucky Charms. And I just want to know if you had to do it all over again, would you spend your time on that daytime serial? And is that something you'd recommend to other people trying to break into the industry?

Jensen: One hundred percent.

Question: Because we loved it. Since thirteen, our grandmas were watching!

Jensen: [laughs] Uh, yeah, no, that was really kind of my training ground. I didn't go to a proper film school, or acting school, and I didn't get properly trained - which is clear by, if you watch anything I do -

Jared: Anything he's ever done. Like right now.

Jensen: But there I learned things that I don't even think that they would necessarily teach you in certain acting schools. Which is, you know, hitting your mark, finding your light, understanding how to navigate personalities - which that show had, you know, thirty actors, and every one had a different personality. And you gotta have to, you gotta navigate that if you wanna survive. That was such a valuable experience for me, I've talked about it all the time and it's also such a great gig for so many actors out there. I always - when I left that show in 2000, I think, I always thought to myself, like, if I go out and it doesn't happen, I will one hundred percent come running back to this. Because it was so great. So yeah.

Question: I know in a lot of the other question and answer sessions, a lot of your colleagues have been mentioning community theater and things like that, school plays, but nobody mentioned -

Jensen: A soap opera. Uh, yeah, I think - and look, community theater? You know, going to school? In any kind of -

Jared: Making video and putting it on YouTube or something.

Jensen: Right, any kind of expression of making kind of creative content - whether that's on a stage, whether that's in front of a camera, whether that's in your room with your friends, you know, reading a play, or whatever it is? I think all of that fuels something within you, if that's the kind of thing that you strive to do. And so I know that that experience for me was three years and it was - it was essentially my college. It was my training ground for what I went on to do. And I'm forever thankful for it, and I will always praise it.

Jared: Yeah, it's a, it's yeah - bravo. There's something I think he and I both learned in different ways and different times. And I love theater, I love being in theater, I love going to the theater - you know all this and that? It's different doing the version that we ended up kind of doing? Because if you're doing a play, you get three months to rehearse it. You get to go [gestures] left, right, up, down, center, forward, backward [Jensen nods]. Et cetera, et cetera. Doing something like where he started or where I started? You kinda learn really quickly, like, hey, you ain't got all day. You know? You ain't got all hour. Like, you have five minutes, get it right [snaps]. Like, 'cause we're moving on. And so that really helped when it was necessary, when he and I were working together, the sun was coming up in thirty minutes and we would have loved to have had three hours to get something done, but the sun was gonna come up and then it's not gonna make sense so we're gonna have to cut it anyways. So it's like, okay, we've done this before.

Jensen: I recently did a little part in a film, and it was this big end scene where all the [looks up, bats at air], all the -

Jared: Do you smell toast?

Jensen: [looks around comically] All the major players were in the scene and the sun was going down, but more importantly, [turns to Jared] there was a helicopter [Jared reacts] that was supposed to fly overhead. And the shot had to time out with the helicopter coming and we only had, like, two, two shots at it. And, you know, the sun was going down - so it was like a race to the finish. Well, my coverage was left to the very end. [Jared mouths something I can't make out] And of course everybody was - the director and the camera operator, and the dp - was like, 'We're so sorry, we're only gonna get, like, one or two goes at this.' And I was like, 'That's cool.'

Jared: I only need one.

Jensen: And it was like a full speech that I had [laughs], and I, you know, I tattooed it the first take, and I did it again the second take, and I remember the director, he's like, [emphatically] 'I love television actors.' [both laugh]

[targaryenofrph]

Patterns by Kelsea Ballerini Sentence Starters

Change the pronouns and tense as needed for your verses.

I've got patterns

I'm coming apart at the seams

I like the feeling of the feeling that leaves me staring at the ceiling the morning after

Maybe I'm the one to blame for doing the same old same

It's so much deeper than under my skin

Is this a battle that I'll ever win?

When does it start, and when does it end?

Will I outgrow all these patterns?

Will I unknow all these patterns?

You just made the eggs and turned your head

I know you're not impressed with my lack of sticking to the Bible

Maybe we got into a few fights

So I know it took a little tough love to become the woman that you're proud of

My priorities were out of balance

You told me to go but wished I was home

I wouldn't wanna do it with anybody else

Everything that's heavy, I check it at the door, kind of feel like I don't need it anymore

I got some bones of old skeletons from the old house at the dead end

I got baggage, but I'm moving in

We both slept on a mattress with "I love you" people

So I know the weight and gravity of key chains with same keys

if you want that "Welcome" mat, then roll it out with me

Cause home is when you're with me

I like the feeling runnin' with the wind

That's why I went and did what I did

He and I both had our guns to sling, damn, that showdown was embarrassing

I'm still here brushing off a couple things

It doesn't scare or bother you

Never knew I'd have a round two

Take my heart, but take it slow, 'cause this ain't my first rodeo

Love's the wild, wild west, ain't gotta tell me that

Tell me that it's gonna be alright even though we never know if we're gonna make it out alive

When it comes to me and you, I can't not try

I get existential

I get overwhelmed

Got two hundred seventy-something things to reply to

You put on the boots I like for dinner on Friday night

You say they're uncomfortable but you wear 'em anyway

If I went insane and didn't know my name would you stay beside of me, reminding me?

If I gambled away my money, would you back away?

If my jokes weren't funny, would you laugh?

How much do you love me?

Do I sound needy and dramatic?

We said that it was over, what'd you send 'em for?

Two things can be true

I'll love and hate you

I'll be your best and your worst day

I'll be your blessing and curse

Sometimes I'll cut and ghost but sometimes I'll get too close

You're nothing and everything I got to lose

I wish it was that easy when it comes to me and you

No use in diggin' up bones from the grave

When it's over, it's over

I could take a deep dive in the details

I could hide, I could cry 'til I throw up

It's as simple as "We broke up"

I could call my friends and bitch about it

Tale as old as time, I don't gotta wrap my head around it

Another boy driving off mad in a black truck

I have a nasty habit, leaving before I get left

You'll think my light's on yellow when I'm keeping you on "Read"

Stonewall my emotions even when I wanna cry tears as wide as the ocean

One fight, too many 3 A.M.s, I guess we're broken up

You're like, "This is just a conversation, baby, what the fuck?"

Now I'm screaming, "Goodbye," out like it means "I love you"

I'm better on my own

It's all I've ever known

Wait! Don't go!

I'm codependent with my independence through and through

How stupid of me to think you wouldn't listen

so once again, my head and heart are at war

Can I take it back now? Can we make it last?

Feelings ain't the facts, just the patterns of my past

I'd follow you to the moon

You know I'm ride-or-die for you

But if you want a chase, I won't run

I ain't gonna beg for your love

I wanna go the distance, babe

I can't do it if I betray all the way before you work I've done

If you want "Sorry" on my knees, that can't be me

Is this just way too tough?

Are you not strong enough?

God, you're all I want but not like this

It's almost like I don't care if I even know how to swim

You could save me, maybe I could save myself

If lovin' you is an ocean, then I'm in deep

I grew up wishing I could close off the way my dad did

That man never felt a damn thing he didn't wanna feel

I've burned too many miles trying to ride out all the sadness

You can't outdrive pain, someday it's gonna take the wheel

Can't be alone but don't wanna get close to anybody

Don't wanna bare teeth but don't wanna look weak, it's a tough spot

But I'm afraid you'll walk away when the tears start running

I wanna be the one that you're callin' when you're drunk

When you're dropping every ball, I'll be there to pick 'em up

'Cause that's just what you do when you love someone

That's the choice you choose, when you love someone

No conditions, I'd follow you to the moon, no suit

I would, would you?

If somebody does you wrong, baby, hold my beer

Yeah, I'd still die for you then haunt you when I'm dead

I'll think about these nights when we lost count of all the "That's what friends are for"

I gave hell a piece of my mind

It gave me a hit to my pride

But I came out on the other side

This time, last year, the heartbreak was undeniable

Day by day, I became unrecognizable

Makin' my rounds, shootin' my shot

Standin' my ground, pissin' people off

People thinkin' that I've changed used to be my biggest fear

It's gonna be okay

You'll live to see the day when you're gonna say look at me now

Are you safe on the road you chose?

Did you make it home?

[lggy]

iggy my friend iggy we haven’t talked in ages and ages and ages but i just wanna say like. fuckin shout out to you for all you’ve done for the aphmau community with the wiki stuff like. it was a CESSPOOL last time i ever went on there, when i was a Wee Little Child, but you are running that thing hella good. this is incoherent oki just wanted to let you know cause i needed to ref something there for the first time in forever anyway :] live laugh love

WAHHHH THANK U!!!!!!!

I'm trying my best 😆💛 Idk if they have tumblrs but theres a few other mods that help out especially Thatsnice1 does a lot of the super tedious edits like adding/removing templates on every single character page (theres HUNDREDS)

right now I'm learning how to insert css to customize the FUCK outta the wiki its gonna look so good when im done with it. have you noticed that when you scroll over a citation it pops up with a little bubble now it's so cool. also I'm stuck writing boring stuff like rules and guides and site policies Wuahhhh

I've been trying so hard to fix and rewrite all the character bios... Aaron MCD is the only one of the major characters that's nearly at full completion (missing his bio from s3 rn). that's only because he had like a tiny handful of lore drops and didn't talk much. Currently in the middle of working on Aphmau MCD's page. completing her bio/summary may be a nightmare

Whenever I fix all the character bios I'm gonna start adding a proper "featured articles" widget so it's more fun to browse !!! but thatll be a long way from now since they're massive

Theres TTTTOOONNNNNSSS of stuff that needs to be revised on the wiki but it's just taking forever to get to 😭 if anyone has read this far... you are very welcome, encouraged even, to contribute to the wiki especially if you see something incorrect or badly worded. consider it helping out the community and fandom as a whole :3 there is a page named Site Projects with a massive list I made of stuff to work on.

if I ever burn out of working on the wiki I'm gonna be devastated cuz I fuckin love this hobby sooooo much

[lift-heavy-be-gay]

Let's talk about transgender athletes

this is gonna be a long rant so I'm just gonna put a cut down below. dni if you're a terf or just wanna cause problems.

So, recently in class we were discussing different drugs used illegally and legally in sports and eventually the topic of transgender athletes came up (because of course). However, my professor handled it really well and as a trans athlete (pre transition), I just wanna talk about my feelings on the matter.

Keep in mind that this is my opinion, but I have been studying this in uni and may have more of an insight on how testosterone and estrogen actually affect the body. Anyway, there are two main points I wanna make.

As an afab athlete myself, I compete in a mostly strength based sport (though some technique and skill is necessary). However, I could not even begin to think about competing with my amab counterparts. It would put me at an unfair disadvantage and them an unfair advantage.

The first being that—depending on the time you began taking hormones/how long you've been taking hormones—you most likely won't be able to compete in high level competitions like the olympics. I know that people are going to be upset at this, but please listen. If you began taking hormones around the age you would begin puberty, then by the time you're an adult still presumably taking said hormones, then your levels would most likely be that of a cis person. However, if you're taking hormones after puberty, then the testosterone difference between amab and afab people is *staggering*. This article states that amab people generate 15x more testosterone than afab people. Even if they begin taking hrt, it takes YEARS to even begin to see a significant difference.

But

(and this leads to my second point)

There are numerous advantages and disadvantages for cis people in sports. Whether it be financial status, family history, access to training, facilities, or injury prevention/rehabilitation. If kid A is from a long line of well-off basketball players and has the resources to compete, then he definitely has an advantage over kid B who is from the middle of nowhere with no support and even worse facilities. Fact of the matter is, cis people are unevenly matched up against each other all the time. There are a hundred and one different ways that they may have an advantage or disadvantage over each other. Why is it different for transgender athletes? Scratch that. Why is it different between genders at all?

What I'm trying to say is that, I've met plenty afab people who are stronger than amab guys. I really don't think gender matters that much in a lot of sports. I believe we should start separating athletes based on weight rather than gender. (Of course, that's just my opinion.)

It's just that whenever I hear the topic about transgender athletes in sports, it's always about trans women. It's about how it's "not fair" and they are "doing it on purpose to get an easy win" and a bunch of other excuses to try and justify not letting them play. Surprisingly, I don't often (if at all) hear the same argument about trans men. On the surface, a lot of these debates about trans athletes is good ole' transphobia. But if you look deeper, it's really just misogyny. Most people don't even care about the sport, they just want another avenue to oppress a group of people.

Basically, the situation is not as black and white as most would like to believe, and there's a lot of nuance involved when trying to understand this topic. It's unfortunate that many trans athletes have to even deal with this extra bs in order to compete.

anyway, end of rant. thanks for reading if you made it this far. there's definitely more I could say on this, but these are the main points I wanted to make.

tldr: while there are inherent biological differences between amab and afab people, that doesn't excuse excluding trans athletes from being able to compete