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puppypeter · 4 years ago

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These are all dark fics, READ THE TAGS before reading the fics. It is your responsibility to check whether what you are about to read is something that you can stomach. While most of these fics are based around trauma, recovery etc many feature triggering scenes or flashbacks as well as darker themes. Please be safe and don’t read them if they can be triggering for you! Proceed with caution! Most of them are Hydra Trash, but still not just the ugly bits as I like there to be a plot. Hiding them below the cut:

between scylla and charybdis | 21590 words

Sam Wilson has been witness to a lot of things he wishes he could unsee. Civilian families shot dead in their cars because of miscommunications at checkpoints. Riley’s body spiralling to the ground in a smoke-plumed plummet. His own face in his bathroom mirror after waking up hung-over as hell at two in the afternoon, the day after the anniversary of Riley’s death, year after year after year.

And now, in an abandoned bunker on the outskirts of Boston, a seemingly unremarkable manila folder at the bottom of a filing cabinet.

Berceuse | 10730 words

There are strange, new things Bucky needs from Steve.

Dreamers Often Lie | 11040 words

As far as Bucky remembers, sex is something that is painful and terrifying if you wake up while it's happening. As the Asset, sleeping through sex was a rare treat. When Steve lets Bucky know he's interested in a sexual relationship, what Steve doesn't know is that they have fundamentally different ideas of what that entails.

despite the threatening sky and the shuddering earth (they remained) | 71532 words

“They really didn’t want the mask to come off.” Hill thumbed through the scans, and pulled out a film that she then handed over to Sam, face mostly expressionless but for the flat line of her pursed lips.

Sam accepted the film and held it up to the light, angling so both he and Steve could see it, squinting at the outline of the Winter Soldier’s skull, and the blips of unnatural white that showed up, God, in his brain, not to mention about half his teeth, plus the mask, with its thin protrusions—

“Those are pins,” Steve realized. He looked over at Hill. “The mask—it’s nailed to his face.”

Hill’s face was as unmoved as ever. “Like I said. They really didn’t want it coming off.”

Fire And Water For Your Love | 77084 words

When the Avengers investigate an abandoned HYDRA base on behalf of S.H.I.E.L.D., they unexpectedly encounter a dark-haired man with a torn metal arm, who leads them to an even more shocking discovery deeper inside the base. The Avengers must reconcile what they have found with the lies S.H.I.E.L.D. has been telling for decades.

Give An Inch | 5070 words

The Captain has a warm smile and clear, open eyes. The Soldier knows these are tricks. He's fallen for them before and he won't do it again.

Humans As Gods | 4818 words

"HYDRA's scientists had been delighted to find their serum-reversal procedure had worked. Their jubilation was dampened by the discovery that Steve's smaller self might no longer be Captain America-sized but was still 100% Steve Rogers, and Steve Rogers was now mad enough to spit nails. A minor oversight in the design of the containment area meant that smaller-Steve had simply wriggled out of the now ridiculously-oversized restraints like an angry ferret escaping a paper bag, and punched the nearest technician in the nuts.

Chaos ensued."

HYDRA scientists successfully de-serum Captain America, only to discover that they are utterly unprepared for Steve Rogers. Meanwhile, the Winter Soldier follows his instructions to the letter. This works out just great.

The Only One That Needs To Know | 6571 words

Bucky can't control his body. He can only control what secrets he keeps.

I Was Wearing My Blue Coat | 11503 words

Following exposure of his past as the Winter Soldier, anonymous postings of explicit video footage, 63 charges of murder and the wrath of the Internet, James Buchanan "Bucky" Barnes finally steps into the limelight and tells his story to Zenat Patel of the New York Times.

Compliance Will Be Rewarded | 4767 words

Someone told him once: "Compliance will be rewarded," and he remembers pressing his head against a man’s leg in open supplication. He remembers hands in his hair, and a gentle grip on the back of his neck. He remembers a man telling him "so good, so good for me aren't you?" And he remembers nodding his head in a desperate attempt to be exactly as good as he was supposed to be.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Bucky Barnes is physically free from Hydra, but the hold on his mind lingers still. All he wants is to go home, and he'll do anything he can to get there.

To Burn Your Kingdom Down | 12370 words

The Avengers go after a Hydra splinter cell with a nasty habit of brutalizing their prisoners. Steve has some ugly history with them, and when a rescue mission gone wrong leaves him and Sam in enemy hands, the situation gets uglier still.

Worth The Wound | 7709 words

The asset knows that maintenance is better than punishment. But with Steve, maintenance becomes more pleasant, soft and gentle and everything he could dream of. It was only natural that he decided to prolong that maintenance a little longer.

The Spaces In-Between | 6971 words | Part 1 of What We Tried So Hard To Hide Away

"Memories are like buckets of water: they weigh on the heart and the brain until the body fails. You're blessed to stay forgetful and young, Soldier."

Sometimes blessings feel like curses.

Illuminate The Scene | 7086 words | Part 2 of What We Tried So Hard To Hide Away

The doctors had wanted to keep the Soldier. Shock him and freeze him until he was fixed, or tear him to scrap if he couldn’t be repaired so that he wouldn’t be an entirely wasted investment. Steve is the only thing stopping them.

When the Soldier can't trust his own body, how can he trust anything?

All These Riots Of Broken Sound | 83790 words | Part 1 of Forever Is A Close And Honest Friend

When Steve and the team return to Avengers tower to find Bucky gone, they must venture into B.A.R.F. to figure out what triggered him to leave and hunt those who wronged him. Trapped in a simulation of Bucky's worst memories with rogue HYDRA agents waiting to strike, 100 years of secrets, lies, pain and love drive the team to their limit and push Steve towards a realisation that is a century in the making.

I Was Lost But Left A Trace | 3585 words | Part 2 of Forever Is A Close And Honest Friend

Disorientated, the Asset reached up to wipe at the moisture on its cheeks and was shocked to find it clear, instead of the crimson it has been expecting. It didn’t understand why this misidentification had caused uproarious laughter from the technicians.

“It is not blood,” the Asset told him, “but it is still a malfunction.”

This sobered the technician a little, and he nodded tightly.

“Yes. It is. But we will fix you.”

I’ll Always Be Blamed For The Sun Going Down | 9907 words | Part 3 of Forever Is A Close And Honest Friend

He knows he’s in the right place. He has heard the guys at the docks laugh and joke about the queers who come out after dark, looking to earn a little extra cash. He has seen the johns, when he’s been out late enough, skulking in the shadows like predators hunting for their next meal, looking for something in particular. Sometimes they look at him.

A small, rusty pen knife that his father had picked up in Europe during the Great War sits heavy in the breast pocket of his jacket. Just in case.

Book Of The Moon | 16019 words | Part 4 of Forever Is A Close And Honest Friend

In 1929, Bucky Barnes falls in love for the first time and resigns himself to never telling a soul, let alone Steve, the object of his affections. In 1943, half a world away from the man he can never have and fighting for his life and his sanity, something new begins to bloom.

Habeas Corpus | 18054 words

An unexpected incident in the field leaves Steve Rogers facing the infiltration of a Hydra base and retrieval of important intelligence, all while pretending to be the Winter Soldier. Unfortunately, there are important aspects of the Soldier's past that Bucky hasn't disclosed, and Steve has no idea what he's really walking into.

Bullies | 14979 words

Written for the MCU trash meme prompt:

I wanna see Steve being messed with by his secretly-HYDRA coworker buddies. I want them generally fucking with him, "accidentally" doing terrible things to him or getting Steve into awful situations, telling jokes that aren't really jokes, gaslighting, performing sexual-assault hazing under the guise that "that's what people do now," pressuring him into other sex shit, anything, just fuck Steve up.

Steve isn't failing to fully catch on because he's dumb or oblivious: it's just that he is Steve, so he wants to believe the best of everybody, and he doesn't want to believe that he could be working for/with bullies and that (as Natasha says) he essentially died for nothing.

Not Unwanted, Not Unloved | 50320 words

They'd resigned themselves to never becoming parents - until Bucky gets pregnant and drops off the grid without even a whisper to his mate about his condition. Steve will still raze the earth to find him, but that doesn't mean he likes what he finds.

The Tones That Tremble Down Your Spine | 13889 words

Tony tells him they’re planning a party for Steve’s birthday. He knows how parties are supposed to go.

Lacuna | 62875 words

The Winter Soldier doesn't remember Steve Rogers, but he needs Rogers' help.

OR: The one where Bucky doesn't remember Steve, but falls in love with him anyway.

Not A Perfect Soldier | 93354 words

In a world where HYDRA was wiped out in the '40s, Steve is found by the Army rather than SHIELD. General Thaddeus Ross wants a perfectly obedient super-soldier at his command, and to that end, he sets out to break Steve to his will. As Steve struggles to come to terms with all he has lost, his life in captivity is only made bearable by the presence of another prisoner-- another super-soldier known only as "Soldat". Then the Avengers strike a deal with Ross to "borrow" him for missions, and Steve is faced with a team who dislikes him, an organization he doesn't trust, and the question of what he's willing to do to escape Ross's clutches.

For Want Of Him | 103174 words

It's the twenty-first century, and Steve Rogers has never been more alone. Everything he knew, everyone he loved, is now gone, and a dark, bitter loneliness claws at him, raking bleeding gashes into his heart. And then there's Brock Rumlow. Rumlow is like salt in his wounds; vicious, and cruel. But his dark brown hair and teasing smirk reminds Steve of someone long dead, and his New York accent sounds like home...He's a soldier like him...he understands. And Steve makes the fatal mistake of trusting him.

The Same Measure | 4943 words

The Winter Soldier was never allowed to stop unless an injury was too grievous.

To Be Unmade | 5114 words | Part 1 of Alexander Pierce Should Have Died Slower

For the asset, things only ever get worse. The external scars fade quickly enough. The internal ones dig deeper and deeper.

But the internal scars are called love, and doesn't that make them worth the hurt?

Do Not Put In The Icebox | 7143 words | Part 2 of Alexander Pierce Should Have Died Slower

When the asset malfunctions on a mission, Rumlow and Rollins learn more than they ever wanted to know about Pierce's hobbies.

And then everyone has pancakes.

The Knowing Makes It Worse | 4130 words | Part 3 of Alexander Pierce Should Have Died Slower

No is a bad word and invites punishment.

Or, Alexander Pierce is a very bad man who delights in manipulating and degrading the asset.

Love Is For Children | 5303 words | Part 4 of Alexander Pierce Should Have Died Slower

Bucky understands how the game works. He can't understand why it makes Steve cry.

But Natasha and the other Avengers are there to help.

I Just Wanted To Be Sure Of You | 4461 words | Part 5 of Alexander Pierce Should Have Died Slower

Bucky has Bucky Bear; it's only fair for Natasha to have something of her own.

Visiting a toy store wasn't strictly necessary, but if Tony wants to throw money around, no one's going to complain.

“Till The End Of The Line | 6069 words | Part 6 of Alexander Pierce Should Have Died Slower

It's hard to take a friendship right back up when so much has changed over seventy years.

Particularly when HYDRA's conditioning resurfaces.

*if you feel that any of these fics shouldn’t be in this list please just send me a message! :) I have read them all but over the past 1+ years so some of them I might not remember all the details of :)

#HTP #hydra trash party #dark fics #recovery fics #but with A LOT of trigger warnings #puppy peter fic recs #don't like don't read #hydra angst #bucky angst #bucky whump #MIND THE TAGS!!!

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drgrlfriend · 1 year ago

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One more day! Here are ideas I've written for prior charity auctions:

Temporarily deafened character

Pacific Rim AU

Pride and Prejudice AU (with werewolves!)

Two Weeks' Notice AU

Regency Arranged Marriage AU

Werewolf as emotional support animal AU

Selkie AU (mostly written but not posted yet)

Do you have a particular setting, universe, other piece of media, or scenario you've always wanted to see our boys inhabit? A particular trope you'd like to see play out? I have extensive experience writing characters with disabilities, deaf!Clint Barton, Jewish!Bucky Barnes, etc.

I try only to only keep one WIP going at any time, but here are some vague ideas for future fics I've had if you wanted to see any of them play out: 1. Vaguely medieval "correctional marriage" fic: In a vaguely medieval setting, the war against Hydra has just ended. Clint is a former soldier and newly-minted reluctant baron of Waverly, when he's called to Lord Stark's fiefdom for a favor for Lord Stark and his husband, Steven Rogers. In the final days of the war, the legendary Winter Soldier was captured, and has turned out to be Bucky Barnes, Steve Roger's childhood friend, who was cursed by Hydra witches to fight his former allies. The curse is still flickering within him, and King Fury has determined he can be executed or sentenced to a "correctional marriage" with someone who is deemed strong enough to control him. The marriage ceremony binds two individuals together, and causes harm to only one of them if they are separated. Steve and Tony believe that Clint is the only person they know who has the strength of character to hold that level of responsibility but not abuse it. (Basically, a mash-up of arranged marriage and uneven relationship dynamic by someone who refuses to take advantage of their position). Clint may also have some magical tendencies he had to suppress heavily in childhood because his father was rabidly anti-witch, and Bucky has a lingering fear of witchcraft.

2. Creep Inspired by the song "Creep," this is a scenario in which Bucky comes to the Tower to live after CA:TWS but keeps himself isolated, creeping around on the outskirts of the Avengers who all reside in the Tower and wallowing in self-hatred for what he let Hydra turn him into, wishing he could undo it all. I don't care if it hurts I wanna have control I want a perfect body I want a perfect soul He develops a crush on Clint from afar -- Clint seems so strong and good and talented and easygoing, everything that Bucky is not. But, the more Bucky gets to know Clint, the more he realizes that Clint's sunny persona is a fraud, and they have more in common than Bucky realized. Bucky grows to develop feelings beyond a crush for the actual, damaged person that Clint is, and in doing so begins to understand and accept his own issues. 3. High school A/B/O This fic starts in high school, but then jumps to later. Clint, Steve, and Bucky are all teammates and Bucky has a crush on Clint, but Clint keeps himself a little apart from the rest of the team, disappearing as soon as practice or games are over, never socializing with the rest. Steve decides to prank them by locking them in the gym together for a night, hoping it'll force Bucky to confess his feelings. Instead Clint panics -- he's been working multiple jobs trying to afford suppresants, and his father is abusive and bears a particular grudge against the Barnes family after being fired by Bucky's father. Clint's father discovers them, and forces a mating bite. Clint doesn't want Bucky to be saddled with a mate he doesn't want -- he agrees to the bite to save Bucky, but then runs away immediately afterward. Years later, they meet. Neither of them has deliberately broken the bond although they could, and maybe they are being offered a second chance.

dr.girlfriend

See dr.girlfriend’s existing works here.

Preferred contact methods: Email: [email protected] Tumblr: drgrlfriend

Preferred organizations: - Anything from the list of approved organizations

Will create works that contain: Open to most things! Feel free to ask.

Will not create works that contain: Rape/noncon/dubcon, major character death, unhappy ending, underage, incest, body horror (hanahaki, etc.), dark characters beyond canon characteristics (e.g. Serial Killer AU), uneven power dynamic (student/teacher, master/slave, boss/employee), romanticization of abusive relationships, daddy kink (including sugar daddy / sugar baby), infidelity, humiliation, painplay, watersports — probably best to just contact me with any notable kink before bidding. Not entirely averse to A/B/O but probably something else that should be discussed — I may write it more consensually than is typical for the trope.

– Fic or Other Writing –

Auction ID: 1141

Will create works for the following relationships: Bucky Barnes/Clint Barton - Any Universe Bucky Barnes & Clint Barton - Any Universe Alpine & Bucky Barnes & Clint Barton & Lucky - Any Universe Bucky Barnes/Clint Barton/Steve Rogers - Any Universe

Work Description: I will write a minimum 5k word fic, with a goal of your preferred rating. Historically, my auction fics have exceeded the promised minimum word count. I am willing to write a variety of prompts. I also have done adaptations of other works into a different universe (e.g. Pride and Prejudice AU, Two Weeks’ Notice AU, Pacific Rim AU). Tell me your ideas and we’ll collaborate! I usually write a Fraction/Aja Hawkeye comic-inspired version of Clint Barton, with MCU-inspired version of Bucky Barnes. Probably not the best person to ask if you want a Jeremy Renner version of Clint with the farm family and all that. Otherwise, I’m not sure about the different universes.

Ratings: Gen, Teen, Mature, Explicit

Can pods bid on this auction? Yes - Podbids welcome!

CLICK HERE TO BID ON THIS WORK

The auction runs from October 22 (12 AM ET) to October 28 (11:59:59 PM ET). Visit marveltrumpshate.com during Auction Week to view all of our auctions and to place your bids!

#dr.girlfriend #auction: fic #mth 2023 #winterhawk #clint barton #bucky barnes #the winter soldier #hawkeye #fanfiction

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galaxina-the-pyro · 4 years ago

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There's NO PnF x Epithet Erased AU and I'm Here to Correct That!

Well, really I just wanna theorize on what everyone's epithets would be and to just have an excuse to talk about the show, because "Epithet Erased" (produced by @jelloapocalypse) is fucking amazing and ya'll need to stop what you're doing and watch it on VRV (also available on YouTube if you can't afford VRV like me - but if you CAN afford VRV, you totally should considering making an account so you can support this AMAAAAAZING project) Go on. Do it.

So - a little info dump for ya'll who aren't in the know...ahem...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h97aI5SZHk4&ab_channel=JelloApocalypseJelloApocalypseVerified

SO! In the world of Epithet Erased, there are those who are gifted with the rare power called, you guessed it, Epithets. Some have them - others don't. The ones who don't are called Mundies, and the ones who do are called Inscribed. Those who are Inscribed each have a unique word attached to their soul that allows them to do "stuff" depending on the given word.

Ex. One of the main characters of the series has the Epithet "Goldbricker", which allows him/her to turn objects into gold, including him/herself.

Inscribed are able to train and hone their powers so that they can gain more abilities in the process - however, depending on the word you get, you may be the most dangerous being in existence, or have the lamest superpower ever. Though, do not be fooled - even the dumbest sounding words can hold their weight in ways you never suspected if you use them right.

Inscribed and Mundies alike are all ranked by three stats: Stamina, Proficiency, and Creativity (arguably the most IMPORTANT stat for Inscribed). These stats dictate one's power and durability within a battle or even for everyday tasks and jobs, like building, or stuff like that.

In the end, Epithets are NOT in any way, shape, or form connected to genetics - Mundie parents can conceive Inscribed children, and Mundie children can have Inscribed parents. All of it is randomized, from whether or not you'll have one, to the word you get in question.

Now with all THAT out of the way, I can go on to ramble about the possible Epithets the REST of the gang has.

NOTE: this isn't me saying EVERYONE listed would be Inscribed if they WERE in Epithet Erased because that's not possible - chances are, someone like Isabella would be a Mundie while that one background character named Baltazar the Ballpit Kid would be Inscribed. This is just for funsies! (Also, because Perry's an animal he doesn't get an Epithet, sorry)

So...without further ado...what I think the cast of PnF's Epithets would be:

Phineas: "Lightbulb" (an Epithet that seems useless on the surface - Phineas is able to cause lightbulbs to appear from thin air upon thinking of an idea. But he's ALSO able to generate electricity and use it in battle, and can use it to charge his machines and anything he builds)

Ferb: "Toolbox" (Ferb is able to pull an assortment of tools and useful gadgets from seemingly nothing, hence him being a literal "toolbox" - these tools vary from things like hammers and saws to actual weaponry. Lord help you if he gets his hands on an ACTUAL toolbox or anything like it)

Candace: "Gatekeeper" (This was a tough one - basically, "gatekeeper" refers to her control-freak personality. Her abilities can be as small as being able to lock or unlock doors from afar/without the use of a key, to being able to create doors and gates to keep people in or out of something or somewhere)

Dr. Doofenshmirtz: "Self-Destruct" (This probably doesn't count because "Self-Destruct" is two words, but DANGIT I'm gonna do it anyway because this is just too perfect for Dr. D! Doof's ability allows him to cause explosions of any kind within the vicinity, including himself. He takes recoil damage from this ability, but it's actually really powerful if used correctly [which luckily, given that he's PROBABLY a Bonzai Blaster in this, his Proficiency is probably too low for him to use it that way, though I'd imagine his creativity is as high as Phineas and Ferb's])

Isabella: "Daydream" (This Epithet allows Isabella to create illusions and false realities with her mind - oftentimes it's to her detriment, as one of her most utilized "fantasies" is Phineasland. However, she can use this ability to trap her enemies and can even summon "imaginary friends" to help her in battle)

Buford: "Wind" (Though the word is simple, Buford is able to control the winds around him - even to the point of creating gusts to blast at enemies. He's also able to fly effortlessly through the air, though for a short period of time [pray that you're not beneath him when he runs out of air]. The catch? His power is through farts and belches...shut up, you all know this makes sense)

Baljeet: "Multiple" (Baljeet's Epithet allows him to project numbers and math problems for all to see - it COULD also allow him to increase in size and to create clones of himself if his Creativity was much higher than it already is. Luckily, he's at the very least able to use these numbers as projectiles)

Vanessa: "Rock" (Which refers to her being the kind of person people can open up to ["Candace Against the Universe"], her tough, firm personality, as well as the kind of music she listens to. With this Epithet, she is able to turn parts of her body into pure stone [much like "Goldbricker"], making her nearly invincible)

Major Monogram: "Screen" (Is able to appear on any screen without the need of a camera - he can also take control of any device with a screen so long as he is inhabiting it...which...kinda puts Carl out of the job, so...uh...let's fix that!)

Carl: "Intern" (Yeah. His Epithet is Intern. Because that's what he is. His ability is a wildcard, as it allows him to work in any environment with high proficiency, but depending on the location he's in he's either a force to be reckoned with or is completely useless in battle. Ex. in an office setting, he's just really good with numbers and writing checks and stapling papers, etc., but in a hospital setting he can have the ability to heal you in battle)

And that's all I really got so far. I might add more in the future. If you guys think their Epithets would be different, I'd LOVE to hear your thoughts!

"Epithet Erased" is fun, creative and such a joy to watch, it'd be a crime for this project to not be completed from a lack of viewing. It's got poignant humor, a cast of quotable, likable characters I guarantee will make you all smile, FANTASTIC MUSIC LIKE OMG IT'S SO GOOD YOU GUYS, an engaging storyline, and is just a charming DnD-esque adventure throughout. And that's just seven episodes - that's right. Season 1 of Epithet Erased has seven beautifully made episodes that you can watch on YouTube/VRV now right on your computer or phone or whatever!

Seriously, I do not kid you, this series has the potential to be as good if not better than shows like "Avatar: the Last Airbender", it's that brilliant. And again, IT ONLY HAS SEVEN EPISODES SO FAIR! It'll only take you, like, three hours to watch them all at most! So really, you don't have an excuse NOT to watch this wonderfully made series! I implore you to give it a look - you will not regret it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMesNJy06kM&ab_channel=ChimericalNightcoreChimericalNightcore

#phineas and ferb #pnf #epithet erased #epithets #phineas flynn #isabella garcia shapiro #ferb fletcher #candace flynn #dr doofenshmirtz #baljeet tjinder #buford van stomm #seriously you guys watch Epithet Erased it's literally the best thing since sliced bread #it isn't even that long!#it'll take you like three hours to watch at max #it's such a great series I can't stop talking about it aaaaaahhhhhh

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drgrlfriend · 3 years ago

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1, 3, 21, and 28 for the fanfic asks?

Wow, so many asks! :-) I just answered number 3, so let's see:

1. favorite fic you wrote this year

Hahaha, all year long was spent writing Freedom's Reach -- I started on New Year's Day and posted it last month. :-) I will have another fic posted before the year ends because I'm participating in Winterhawk Wonderland, though!

21. most memorable comment/review

OMG, I have never had a fic that posted one chapter a day like that, and I was just *floored* by the amazing comments I got! People who read WIPs as they post and comment on every chapter are angels and I'll fight anyone who says differently. I think my two favorite varieties of comments are the "Oh crap I was just going to read a little and then I stayed up all night / I keep sneaking out of work to read / I lost my whole weekend reading this" because *relatable*. I've done that so many times with really engrossing fanfic, and it's lovely to think that people feel the same about my story. The other fun variety of comment is people who were sharing my frustration with how *stupid* these boys were because let's face it, in order to draw out an arranged marriage fic for two completely compatible and attracted individuals for 70k words requires them to be *stupid as hell* and *never communicate* and I totally sympathize with every commenter who was like "I want to knock these idiots over the head with a common sense stick!"

23. fics you wanted to write but didn’t

I have two fics that I kind of daydream to myself but haven't gotten around to writing. I'll just describe one, which is based on the song Creep, because that song is just 100% newly-deprogrammed Bucky, creeping around the edges of the Tower, feeling like a monster, and there's Clint, this amazing, beautiful, good-hearted guy who shines so brightly that it hurts to look at him.

I mean:

I don't care if it hurts / I wanna have control / I want a perfect body / I want a perfect soul

And, you know, that song obviously has some stalker elements to it, but the fic would be about Bucky and Clint really getting to know each other, and Bucky realizes that a lot of the way Clint presents himself is a front -- like Clint seems all graceful in public spaces but when he thinks no one is looking he's limping around because he is only human and he doesn't want to let the team know how much he actually hurts himself, and then of course all his brash self-confidence is a cover for his crippling insecurity, etc., etc. And Bucky grows to know and love even more the disaster!Clint Barton we all know lies underneath while at the same time learning to accept his own flawed self.

#winterhawk #clint barton #bucky barnes #the winter soldier #hawkeye #avengers #mcu #marvel #marvel comics #ask game #meme #fanfiction #authors

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crimsonandcloverwrites · 4 years ago

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bhah ch7 can’t stop won’t stop

lmao Dani being like ‘we should wait to discuss kids til after we’re married’ yes doesn’t seem like a giant thing u should make sure u agree on before u make a major commitment at all

Dani is so in love with Jamie sdjkhdfkjg driving to her house on instinct and just like...gazing at her in her old t-shirt and sweats like you’ve finally seen the light girl just kiss her already

god I can’t believe I have 2 more chapters of them as adults just being the absolute perfect match for each other to get through before they finally kiss in ch 11 (i’m maninfesting it no one say anything) I am literally going to scream. Dani will like... feel a little off and it’s all “i need to go to Jamie’s house and also tell Jamie everything and she will make me tea and let me be myself without all the expectations and I will feel better” I AM VERY HAPPY SHE CAN BE THAT FOR YOU BUT ALSO CAN YOU SEE WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE MS CLAYTON (actually I think she kind of does but she must extract herself from her real life first I guess)

oh no the new chapter is almost here I still have so much to read

forget ‘there was only one bed’ this is now a ‘there was only one tent’ stan blog only

thirsty Dani truly is the funniest I am so sorry ur suffering is so entertaining. Dani: literally whacks her finger with a mallet bc horny for Jamie. Me: uncontrollable chortling

the idea of Dani wrangling 8 year olds that are probably just about as tall as her is too funny. tiny legend

aww the lil background Hannah and Owen moments. cute

Dani in a big ol’ straw hat pls that’s so cute

this Jackie and Jamie situation..... GIVE US THE DEETS

hmmmmnnnnnngggg Jamie just straight down on her knees in front of Dani to tie her shoe lace I will absolutely let u have this gay panic Dani u don’t deserve to be made fun of right now

Jamie “I have a story” absolutely NOT

Viola, emerging from the lake in this no ghosts childhood friends story: surprise bitch

these two drunk idiots are literally teenagers dsjkhdfkgjh just get in ur tent

Dani, drunk in a tiny tent w the love of her life: hope this doesn’t awaken anything in me

when we finally get a Jamie on her knees redemption moment-

Dani, drunk in a tiny tent w the love of her life currently taking her clothing off: oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck (y’all really wanted to torture her this chapt huh?)

“dawn was a saffron colored suggestion peeking through a pinhole gap in the tent’s zipper” god that’s a pretty sentence can i pls borrow some talent

Jamie and Dani w kids is sooooo cute they have such a nice balance between them

just thinking about if teenage Jamie desperately in love w her bestie could see things now Dani being all into her w all her lingering looks etc how the fuckin turn tables

“Dani kept a firm grip on her sanity” lol

oh my god they’re both drenched in the tent w the soft lamplight and only their own bodyheat to keep warm whatever will they do

oh wait they also have the heat of their burning attraction to each other they’ll be toasty as anything

hhhhngggg abs

that’s like 4 mentions of Jamie on her knees aklhfdkjgkdjh enough

lads is it gay to imagine running ur fingertips over the scar on your friends back before pressing ur lips to it or...?

Jamie taking the time to teach Dani car things aww

lol not the smutty book

eddie honking at her gets so under my skin like my dude... my guy... stop

Dani thinking so hard about rain damp Jamie and how much she wanted to jump her while she’s in the car w her boyf and MIL. girl

imagine if we had to sit through a dani and eddie wedding before she finally managed to call this off how cursed

ayoooo Carson’s show I cannot wait. omg we get it this chapter too gbless this really is the Dani suffering hours

Jamie just so casually like.... not even flirting w Dani it’s all just kinda observations but every other thing she says makes Dani stop breathing skdhfdkfjh this is so good

Dani has like... a lack of object permanence but with Jamie feelings ok

pleeease the Dani Carson road trip that’s so cute I can just imagine what fun they would have had

uuughhh i wanna go to a sweaty bar n listen to loud music again

also would like a Jamie to press their hand to my lower back n make me lose my mind in a sweaty bar to loud music

this lil jamie dani carson trio is my faaaave

“Girls must be all over you.” and Jamie choking on her drink dsfkjsdhkf oh Dani u beautiful naive angel. god that’s so funny

Robin instantly going for Jamie... same bro

Carson’s lil found family band pls my heart is so full

Carson calling them his sisters n Jamie freezing up bby when are u going to accept these people care abt u and love u like family

Robin is so brazenly just like ‘ur hot’. a voice of the people i love her

Dani being lowkey jealous as IF Ms Taylor has eyes for anyone else babe

Carson knoooowwwwws. When do we get the Carson O’Mara biopic please I want his takes on everything I know they’re excellent

oh my god Jamie knowing Dani’s fave kind of pizza pls I love that so much (I can’t remember if it’s been mentioned in the past few chapters but I remember her being mad that Eddie didn’t in CH1? i love this lil detail) (also I literally just ate vegge pizza I feel so immersed in this experience)

dfkgjhdfkjgh Jamie licking her finger and Dani completely combusting this is so entertaining

fuck n then it gets all soft and about how they’ve been in love their whole lives this is emotional whiplash

Jamie constantly in protector mode but in this really quiet comforting way is so sweet I love her so much

god I just feel so bad for Dani that this kind of insane electricity she has with Jamie has probably never been a thing in her relationship w Ed bby u deserve someone that makes u feel like this

awww Carsons bf

Dani’s soul leaving her body when she sees them kissing oh no

Jamie giving Dani her jacket pleeease I am dying here... the romance of it all

and shariing cigarettes and intense looks these two really are somethin else

lmao even Robin is picking up on their vibes you two could level a building with the amount of tension between u

Dani’s moment of Realisation abt Carson n Jamie just being like... well yeah

lmao Dani subtly trying to figure out if Jamie is gettin’ it sdkgdfhkjgh

when these do two finally get together both of them are gonna be like... taken out by all of this. Dani has only ever known Eddie who just does not get her (and the fact that she is a lesbian so she’s never had real feelings for him in that way) and it seems like Jamie has only ever had surface level relationships with people who never really got her either (while also being in love w her best friend who she never thought would love her back). there’s no way this is wont eventually make at least one person cry a bunch (probably me) with how right all of it is

god Dani is so horny for Jamie sdflkdfjgkfdj preemptive RIP for Ms Taylor when Dani finally does get to live out all these daydreams on her I just know someones gonna end up pulling somethin

Does Dani like.... get that she will never love Edmund that way like is she fully aware of the fact she loves him but she’s not in love with him and all these feelings for Jamie aren’t just because it’s Jamie but because she’s not straight??? have we gone on that journey yet

aw Ed waited up for her

the book the book the book

dsfkdhfgkj oh Dani

“Jamie on her knees, looking up at her” listen-

girl u are so fucked

SIX. SIX MENTIONS OF JAMIE ON HER KNEES pls

THE DREAM

who could this possibly be about hmmmm Dani

christ

THE MEASURES SHE TAKES TO DEAL WITH THE DREAM lordt

“baffled but excited” i think is how I almost always picture eddie lol

dang get it girl take control

aw dani u poor confused little duck. i just wanna give her a hug

Dani dressed as Dorothy is awfuly cute

heh Jamie as a wolf i love her fursona

lmao toto

of course Jamie is well aquainted with the bleachers. cheeky. oh no not the art room. Dani dying inside and then imagining herself there with Jamie girl has got it baaaad u poor lil repressed gayby

Dani is... so thirsty... goddamn

lmao Jamie blatantly checking her out are u trying to kill her she already wants to rip ur clothes off

“To the third floor art room?” dfksdhfgkjdfhgjdhf imagine if this was it they just banged it out in the art room right now n got things sorted

god they go from horny to soft so quick i love the ways they care about each other

Jamie saying the scarecrow costume is fitting for Eddie PLEASE

ooh the infamous hickey

What Dani deseves: snuggles. What Dani recieves: struggles

the MEMES. god bless the memes

this was an excellent companion for my Wednesday hopefully I can churn through the rest of em before we are blessed w ch11 amen

#bhah

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pepperful-qt · 5 years ago

Note

hello!! i saw that your requests are open so,,, anyways, can you please make a hcs of kenma, kuroo and any other hq boys u like and their reaction when their s/o sends a video of them with i love you written on their cheeks? thank u and always take care!! ♡♡

this is so cute what🥺 almost went with Suna but decided on Tendou bc i just did something for him recently! & he deserves something like this tbh

Kenma, Kuroo, & Tendou when their s/o sends a surprise video with ‘i love you’ written on their cheeks

*****

Kenma

you don’t send it to him in when he’s in public which he is thankful for

you do, however, send it out of nowhere. no special occasion or anything, which makes it so much more special to him tbh

you guys are video chatting while playing minecraft or stardew valley if you’re like me (or another online game of your choice) and you pause yourself and say you’re going to the bathroom or smth and mute your mic

it’s not really a big deal, so he doesn’t think too much on it and just continues building his redstone mechanism or w/e

until he gets a notification from you

his first thought is that you ran out of toilet paper and he’s like why would you text me we’re not even in the same house-

but, that’s not what he sees. instead, it’s you in one of his hoodies that you stole

you painted your nose and drew cat whiskers, with ‘i love you’ as the top whisker on each cheek and two lines beneath so cute wth

he thinks so too

it’s a short and sweet message, but clearly something you put thought into

but-

achievement unlocked! you broke him

seriously, he stops breathing for the entire video

he’s an absolute blushing MESS currently pulling up his hoodie to cover his face. pulling the drawstrings and everything

direct affection like this always makes him flustered. always

which is why it’s so cute hehe

he’s not much for pda or anything so you take your chances where you get em

little did he know, you were hiding just off camera where you could see the whole thing and you are currently 🥺

you just hear your name in an exasperated groan from the call

“y/nnnnnn” muffled by his hoodie ofc

you’re smiling like an idiot bc✨mission accomplished✨

“hehehe did you like it?”

you still have the makeup on and his soul leaves his body

“why would you do that to me?”

“awww can’t you read?”

more blushy blushy

he wants to hug you or hold you so bad in that moment like it’s absolute torture

and next time he sees you, oh boy is he stuck to you like glue. good luck getting him off you ever

* * *

Kuroo

you decide to drop this on him while he’s en route to nationals. you weren’t able to come until the second day for school or work reasons, but you still wanted to show your support for your bf, esp for something so important to him!

you know he’s the type to keep his phone on dnd or airplane mode while he’s on long trips, as he prefers to sleep or read in peace

and you use this information to plan the perfect surprise! you send the video during his trip so he’ll see it when he’s going through notifications when he finally arrives

you tell/bribe Kenma to record his reaction for you too, which he may or may not do

your relationship with Kuroo has always been one of teasing and banter. for pet names you call each other ‘babe’ or ‘sweetheart’ as easily as ‘dork’ or ‘dumbass’

so it’s very very amusing to him when you start the video with “hey dummy~” while you have ‘i love you’ written in red on one cheek and ‘Nekoma #1′ on the other

the moment he sees you this guy has the biggest stupidest grin on his face. not even in a smug or cocky way, just completely lovestruck

he’s doing that thing where he covers part of his face with his hand and shakes his head a little bc he finds you so adorable

the video is actually really sweet with you hoping he got to the inn safely and wishing him good luck, and promising him a special kiss if he wins so you can see him play the second day

talk about motivation ammirite ;)

and your surprise works; he’s totally caught off guard

by the end of the video the genuine grin definitely turned devious lol, and he’s not one to blush easily, but you definitely got him a lil bit

some of his teammates heard a very ominous giggle from their captain, and his expression is even more disturbing

no one who asks is allowed to see, you're for his eyes only, but he does brag about the wonderful video his s/o sent him

excuses himself immediately so he can facetime you

if you’re still wearing it he just starts laughing again, and try as he might he can’t stop smiling

says some stupid cocky playful line

“hey baby, you got something you wanna tell me?” or “looks like you can’t contain your love for me” smh

partially scolds you for trying to catch him off guard (in public)

“i love you too but you’ll regret that” etc

okay this mf is suggestive af fill in the rest

you better be looking forward to more than just a kiss when he sees you is all i’m saying

* * *

Tendou

happens at like 1-2am on a school night when you’re both texting memes back and forth bc you enable each other

and tbh you’re feeling a bit delirious,, like at this point you’re actually laughing irl at the stupidest things he sends and muttering to yourself

so once the idea pops into your head your impulse control may as well not exist

he doesn’t really notice your absence too much, just keeps sending da memes. in fact he’s spamming so much he doesn’t even notice what you do send LOL

so you’re sitting there like 👉👈 waiting for him to react,, until eventually you’re like: ‘hellooo?? did you see what i sent??’

LEAVES YOU ON READ LMAOO before a keyboard smash and then silence

bc he is freaking out

like Kenma’s, it’s a cute, sweet message where you’re just gushing about how much you love him

it’s a little rambly and your words are a bit slurred but that just makes it all the more endearing

“tendou~~ look i just love you so much i need the whole world to know!!” while pointing to your cheeks

poor bby is about to cry fr he's overwhelmed

he’s just watching it over and over again like🥺🥺🥺

and you’re back to waiting for a reaction and you’re starting to feel a little silly. you’d already accepted that he’d tease you over it but now you’re embarrassed--

but you know what? he sends his own video back, with 'i love you my angel!' haphazardly scribbled on his forehead

“y/n~~~” he’s totally mocking you “i can’t believe you love me so much you’re gonna make me cry~” doesn’t mention he already did a bit “i can’t believe i’ve been blessed with such an angel--”

he’s just going on and on until he hits the video size cap

congratulations you’ve absolutely ruined each other at 2am and you have a test tomorrow and he has morning practice

but do either of you care? no

he cannot stop smiling the next day he’s just glowing and is just all over you

and you didn’t realize you’d written in sharpie so there’s still a little bit visible that you tried and failed to hide with concealer

he’ll never let you live that down😌😘

*****

THIS REQUEST MADE ME SO SOFT WRITING IT JFC😭

#kenma kozume #kenma kozume x reader #kuroo tetsuro #kuroo tetsuro x reader #tendou satori #tendou satori x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu writing #haikyuu!!#haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu scenario #haikyuu imagine

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murdersexual · 4 years ago

Note

Heeeyyyy can I get an leorio nsfw alphabet 👉🏼👈🏼

6 FUCKING DAYS OVERDUE! I AM SO FUCKING SORRY! 🥲

I am terribly RUSTY at doing NSFW Alphabet. 😥😥😥 I had POSTING anxiety because of it. 😰😰😰

Feel free to challenge me to one liner fics, more alpha, and blah.

🚨WARNING MOTHAFUCKAHS🚨 (You’re all not mothafuckahs! I’m sorry 😥)

-RATED MA.

-STRONG SEXUAL CONTENT.

-NOT PROOFREAD!

-May contain HELLA mistakes.

NOW, WITHOUT FURTHER ADO... READETH THE SHIT!

And now presenting...

Murdersexual’s Leorio - NSFW Alphabet!

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

After a long round of position switching, tender and breathy whispers, passionately rough love making, just know you’re in the hands of a natural caretaker. Leorio’s the type to have an atmosphere made for the absolute best of comfort. If you’re at his spot, he’ll have the finest of AC in his room, a mini fridge full of various chilled drinks for you to pick from, the most fluffiest of blankets and most plush of pillows—unless you rather his chest be your pillow—all for you to be at ease. He’s the type to lay back and relax, maybe crack a few jokes while giving you compliments to your sex game. And after you both catch your breath? A round two or three or four maybe possible~

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

On you? Everything is perfect. There’s not anything to love about you! And on him? Well the same goes for that matter. There’s not a day where he won’t stand in the mirror and smirk with radiant confident and say: “Hmph, I look good~”

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Facials are a yes for him! To see your face highlighted from his cum will never fail to turn him all the way on~ That and if you’re giving him the most soul-sucking of blowjobs, watching you swallow his cum is always a win. 💦 Glazing your ass in his ‘glaze’ is one of his favourites as well. Especially since his pull out game is IMMACULATE.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

There’s more or less not a day where he’d come up with some pretty risky and outrageous fantasies. From the craziest of roleplays, using new props, being in very risky locations—like a dressing room in a clothing store. It’s never dull with him regardless but he rather not reveal such to you for he may or may not like to keep you guessing.

(For fucksake, I SUCK at these... 🥲)

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Hell to fuck yeah he knows what he’s doing! He’s more or less the one who’s hella encouraging and motivating to you to try all of the craziest shit he’s tried during his first time.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Missionary with one leg propped up on his muscular ass shoulder. Watching your expressions as he hits all of your sweet spots while secretly testing your flexibility is why he adores this one. Then there’s Doggystyle. He can never get enough of going to pound town until you try to put a hand on his thigh. Hell, prepare to get your hand smacked away or pinned to your lower back. That and he’ll make you throw it back~

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

It depends! But more or less, he will crack a joke or two here and there, anything to have a quick breathy laugh. After all, not all bedroom action has to be so boring, right?

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Oohhh, he’s rather nicely set down below. His happy trail is rather light, tamed and pretty fine.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

It’s always going to be passionately romantic. From touches, kisses, the low and soft whispers of genuine admiration and love… Just him having that naturally gentle sensuality is what makes every little second all the more euphoric~

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

When he’s far away, there’s never time he doesn’t think about you. But when you send him some rather teasing photos, the temptation can’t be helped!

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Satin ribbons, roleplay and domination seems like plausible kinks. Tying you up in some satin ribbons, just to see the deep colours against your skin looks amazing to him. Roleplay? Oh my, since he’s most definitely in school to be a doctor, let’s just say you’re going to always be his favourite patient to tend to~ Domination? He’s going to always be on top unless you somehow charm your way to making him beg for mercy. He’s going to always command you to throw that ass back and so on~

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

He’s a much more of a private type of guy, so more or less anywhere in his place—dorm or whatever. That means, couch, bed, shower, hell, even the wall! Oh, kitchen table! Maybe even bend your ass over the counter~ Same goes for your place~

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Teasing is a big one as well as when you’re mad at him. It’s lowkey kinda hot to him, especially since he’ll fuck your attitude away.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Don’t tell him you want some other guy fucking you while he watches. He’ll cuss you out and probably not want to see you for the rest of the day. That and he would never do anything that you wouldn’t want to.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Watch out, his tongue game is fuego. 👅💦 He will give and he’ll make sure that he receives! There’s no half and no other half!

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Starting out, his stroke game will be slow and long with a few twists and wiggle of his hips. He may slowly pull out all the way until the tip is all that remains inside. Midway? Stroke game gets shorter and quicker, and he’ll reach even further on the inside. After discovering all of your spots, you’re going to feel every little bit of him. He wants your legs to shake, hips to quiver, back to arch and toes and fingers to curl.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Quickies before his early morning class or before he heads out. He doesn’t mind one as long as you’re down for it.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

He loves to experiment! He’s open to MOST ideas! The riskier the more tempting. Ask him to fuck in public or in a car across from the police station, he’ll be down for it. 😏

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

His stamina is OUT OF THIS WORLD! 😏 Hopefully you can keep up~ Rounds? Probably about 4? Maybe 5! There’s no telling. He’ll go until his balls are completely drained~

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Ah, does fuzzy handcuffs and satin ribbons count? 👀 You can T R Y to use it on him but his strong ass will break out of them~

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He teases waayyyy too much! 😤 It’s even worse when he’s far away visiting his friends, he’s always FaceTiming or Skyping you looking way too fucking good... But when he gets back to you, he’ll pay for it! Not that he’d complain right?

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Typically, he’s loud when he’s snappy, but in the bedroom? His voice is much quieter... Suave and low. His grunts and moans are pretty quiet but when he’s fucking you outta anger or if he’s drunk? He’s pretty loud~

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He has a lot of pornographic magazines and Kama sutra books. He’ll fold the pages with some key positions or outfits he may want to try with you.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Beneath those clothes, you’ll come to see that Leorio is far more muscular than what he appears. He also has a ‘third’ leg down below that’s pretty flesh coloured, long and girthy. Since most of the things he wears is pretty fitted, you can never miss what’s packing in those boxer briefs and beneath that tank top and long sleeved button up.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

His sex drive is pretty high. (I mean duh, he’s a goddamn sex symbol. 😏) However, its controllable. You can always tell from the way his eyes scan you up and down and how he smirks with a soft bit of his bottom lip.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

YOU will ALWAYS be the first to fall asleep! There are times where he wanna fall asleep first with you but he’s more or less up doing any homework assignments or talking to his squad. Maybe even cleaning up then hitting the showers. His domestic ways are one of his biggest secrets.

You may now applaud!

Encore?

Thank you for the request! 😅 Sorry it’s not as good, I really... REALLY tried. 👉🏼👈🏼 I may actually have to come back and do this over... Because Leorio DESERVES! 😤 My little (tall) Koi Fish deserves waaayyyyy more love! (I really tried with the aesthetic omfuck...)

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lucifersresources · 4 years ago

Text

as always feel free to change pronouns/alter etc to fit!

nice to me

" if you want to leave, you know i can't stop you. "

" i wanna get wasted and pour my heart out to you. "

" tell me what you want. "

" i guess i've got my guard up. "

" i've had a few cuts along the way. "

" i detox just to retox. "

" my pride is the currency and i've got to pay. "

MAKEMEFEELALIVE

" where is your empathy? "

" no one came to save us. "

" we're on the same team. "

" let's build their self esteem just to fucking tear it down again. "

" make me feel alive. "

" make me feel alive, i'm fucking dead inside."

" i'm so fucking dead inside. "

" you try and fill the papers with dream state connotations. "

" fuck what the facts are, let's just get their backs up. "

" i've gotta confess, i know i'm the best. "

" it's all in your head when you say that we're depressed. "

" lines ain't my thing, drinking's more my scene. "

" i want to numb the pain. "

" i want to numb the pain, you want to get clean. "

beautiful way

" love is a drug but it never comes with a warning. "

" when the comedown comes, you know you're gonna be in mourning. "

" i read between the lines, holding onto better times. "

" i can't let it go. "

" i wanna take back what was mine. "

" only you can change your mind. "

" i won't let it go. "

" tell me what do you mean when you say that we're not okay. "

" we're fucked up in a beautiful way. "

" if you cut me out, you'll never hear my side of the story. "

WYDRN

" is your head still up in the clouds? "

" keep my name out of your mouth. "

" when you talk, i can't understand it. "

" you're fluent in the past tense. "

" if looks could kill, you'd always be staring, you'd use your body as a weapon. "

" i became your new obsession. "

" when will you get the message? "

" no ones got the heart to come and tell you the truth. "

" is your head still up in the clouds? "

" i'm under construction, so are you. "

" i think you misread what i meant. "

" we lost signal, got regrets. "

" you know i still wish you the best. "

SUCKAPUNCH

" i'm getting visions of new beginnings. "

" i'm getting visions. "

" i'm free from my past. "

" we're in the same room but stand on different sides. "

" you could lose your mind trying to understand mine. "

" i rise from the wreckage that you left behind. "

" i'm pessimistic, call it nihilistic. "

" what is the point in making any noise? "

" want to look forward, but i'm so tortured. "

" i'm just a passenger of someone else's good times. "

" why you gotta make it feel this way? "

" a suckapunch, i can take. "

" i wasn't born yesterday. "

" there are no winners. "

" i'm getting visions and you're not fitting in. "

" i rise from the wreckage. "

kill the mood

" why you gotta kill the mood? "

" you're making it so hard for me to like you. "

" now's not the time to give up on us. "

" our champagne toast was short lived. "

" so tell me something i didn't know. "

" you happier on your own? "

" who needs puppy love, when it's full grown, paying rent on a heart you don't own. "

" why you gotta choke those truths? "

" you're making it so hard for me to trust you. "

" every time you walk into the room, dark clouds follow you. "

" rest in peace, that piece of me that holds out for sympathy. "

" i'm not a stepping stone for someone you wanna get to know. "

" to drive me away is such a shame. "

glasgow

" hate to see your heart break. "

" i've got nothing left to lose. "

" i've got nothing left to lose, coz i already lost you. "

" everyone was someone else before feelings flood the room. "

" i was yours before you call me mine. "

" that now feels like another life. "

" it seems as though time has made things worse. "

" i know i said it heals woes, but that was time ago. "

" nothing to be sorry for if i'm not what it is that you want. "

" moving out of town, wanna figure yourself out. "

" don't want to make my house your home. "

" you say you have to lose me, to find you. "

" you say you have to lose me to find you, i hope you do. "

" we don't want the same things. "

" we got to stitch us back together if we can, one thread at a time. "

" you know i don't regret it when i said i had forever in mind. ”

adrenaline

“ my mind’s playing tricks on me. ”

“ i’ve turned into a spectacle. ”

“ i’m on the wrong kind of chemicals. ”

“ the adrenaline is kicking in. ”

“ think i lost my touch. ”

“ what’s the side effects gonna be? a life of codependency? ”

“ when i’m lost, i’m a nightmare. ”

“ there’s a line and i crossed it. ”

voicenotes

“ you’re like a tidal wave of ecstasy. ”

“ you give me something to believe in. ”

“ you are my religion with a sweet disposition. ”

“ there’s no one like you. ”

“ there’s no one like you who finds a way to pull me through when i’m at rock bottom. ”

“ when self doubt creeps in, you make me feel stronger. ”

“ you make me feel stronger. ”

“ i’ve been missing the voice notes that you were sending. ”

“ put name on your skin as if this were permanent. ”

“ i’ll be slipping through your fingers like a bad decision. ”

“ you’re my best decision. ”

“ i hold my breath when you’re leaving. ”

finish what i started

“ i know i’m not the only one who feels that their time has come. ”

“ it’s time to pick yourself back up. ”

“ easy to say that you can relate: you’re not the one staring death in the face. ”

“ are you the one that’s living a lie? ”

“ are you the one that feels empty inside? ”

“ it’s got out of control. ”

“ i’ve gotta start rebuilding my soul. ”

“ i’ve gotta start resetting my goals. ”

“ there’s no one to hold you up. ”

“ i know that i’ve hurt you. ”

“ maybe i don’t deserve you. ”

“ i know that i’ve hurt you and maybe i don’t deserve you. ”

“ my head is an ocean with a depth of emotion. ”

“ do you feel the same, or has too much changed? ”

“ is this something we can save? ”

“ i’m not your enemy. ”

what’s it like

“ life really opened my mind. ”

“ none of us are really one of a kind. ”

“ you and me don’t work as a pair. ”

“ love don’t live here anymore. ”

“ it’s nothing personal. ”

“ tell me what’s it like being perfect all the time? ”

“ about to open up and see how i feel. ”

“ stones and crystals can’t switch out the truth. ”

“ no turn down memory lane, it makes me miss you. ”

“ you used to hold me close as a favour, back when bitterness was my flavour. ”

“ i’m taking one for the road. ”

“ i’ve been gone for way too long. ”

#rp meme #sentence starters #music rp meme #you me at six rp meme #lyric rp meme #lyrics rp meme #roleplay meme #rp memes #angst rp meme

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aethylas · 4 years ago

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For anonymous: a series of answers/clarifications/amendments on The Goldenrod Revisions! (I've answered these all in one post just to make it easier). Thank you so much for the asks, this helped me a) clarify my thoughts b) solve some canon continuity issues so I really appreciate them!

THANK U for agreeing to answer my questions! I'll have to ask them separately so they're not in 1 super-long impossible-to-read ask. I have 3 about 15x19, 1 about 15x20, 2 about 15x21, 2 about 15x22, and 2 about 15x23. quick disclaimer: i don't mean any offense at all by my question count! I didn't even notice these oddities the first time I read this; once I read it and accepted it as the true canon, I took a closer look and then noticed. but plz don't think these made your fic any less great!!

No worries anon! It is literally my pleasure to answer them and I am VERY very happy to find discrepancies with canon in the fic - then I can hopefully fix them and make the fic better :) Also I really appreciate the very systematic way you laid all these out, it really helped me reply, and also subsequently make a couple of edits to the fic!

For 15x19:

1. Why did Chuck trust Michael with the task of killing Jack? As God he should know Michael betrayed him in 15.08; did he expect Michael to disobey him again?

I think in this case we're/Chuck is relying on knowledge from the canon 15.19, i.e. Chuck would assume the outcome predicted by the show - that Michael WOULD betray the Winchesters/the world in order to please his father. So God assumed Michael would act the way he did in Inherit The Earth. But additionally, Chuck isn't actually very keyed-in to his own characters' motivations (esp. when love is involved) or very attached to certain results - he basically sends Michael and Lucifer to kill Jack because he figures it will entertain him no matter what happens - whether Michael and Lucifer kill each other, whether they kill the Winchesters/Jack, etc. - either Jack dies this way or Chuck will think of another way to do it.

2. How was Sam able to kill Lucifer? It was said only an archangel could kill another archangel with the archangel blade; was this a total lie or could Sam do it since he's Lucifer's true vessel? (plz don't change it to have Michael kill him; Sam being the one to do it was perfect, I just wanna understand how he could do it).

So glad you raised this because I honestly totally forgot! But now that you have, I have corrected that lore continuity with a line about biblical metaphors.

3. How is Rowena alive? She said she was dead in 15.08, so I initially assumed as a witch and the Queen of Hell she found a way to travel between Hell and Earth despite being dead. But then Sam says "Michael could've killed you" and then Chuck kills her twice in 15.21, both of which indicate she's alive here - does this mean Michael resurrected her when she summoned him?

God okay this is like - please call me out if this is incorrect or still confusing - but it's kind of like, based on the very inconsistent and confusing lore of the SPN afterlife that I assume Rowena is 'dead' but also 'alive' in the sense that Crowley was 'alive' and is now 'dead'. Does that make sense? She's not 'alive' as a human but rather as a demon (or something like it). So as Queen of Hell and a presumably demonic-adjacent entity, when she's 'killed' she gets sent to the Empty now vs. being 'killed' as a human and going to Heaven/Hell. (Based on when we see her in Hell, I assume she possesses her own body? Unclear. Just go with it. They've never been great with what it means to show vessels in Heaven/Hell etc.)

4. I thought asked all I wanted to know about Goldenrod but I just thought of 1 more thing: I don’t get why some dialogue implies Michael was dead? He mentions how he “found himself back on Earth” and tells the Empty it couldn’t stop Chuck from resurrecting him & Lucifer, but prior to 15.19 we last saw Michael leaving the bunker with Adam alive and well in 15.08, and it seemed like he was gonna stay on Earth for Adam’s sake. So what happened to him?

Oh that's a great point! I think that is actually just a confusing choice on my part that Chuck killed absolutely everyone including Michael/Adam in 15.18 Despair and THEN chose to resurrect Michael (but not Adam) alongside Lucifer when he was bored/wanting to kill Jack. I made some slight adjustments in-text to hopefully make it less confusing because I know that's different to the lore of canon 15.19 Inherit the Earth.

For 15x20:

1. How did the angels and demons in the Empty wake up? Did Michael use the last of his grace to wake everyone up? Were they already awake thanks to Jack blowing up in 15x18 or did they somehow sleep through that? (Not expanding on the Empty's claim that "you made it loud" is one of countless things I'll never forgive the actual show for, so THANK YOU for taking the show back to the Empty in the first place; I was just curious about this one element.)

So the Empty was already 'loud' according to canon, but since canon is vague on what exactly that means (thank you writers!...) I got the impression it meant the Empty wasn't 'peaceful' anymore but still powerful enough to suppress the beings inside, like the beings in there were awake and suffering but unable to rebel. Sort of what we see with Cas in this version of 15.20. Maybe like, additional suffering in sleep paralysis? Regardless, Michael does expend his grace to weaken the Empty enough that other beings wake up and/or are able to fight back and exist outside their own personal nightmare chamber. So whatever your impression of 'loud' is with regards to the other beings in there, assume Michael was able to free them from the Empty's control.

For 15x21:

1. Having Jack & Amara take out Hell & Purgatory was a BRILLIANT idea; I love that they ended all the places of suffering and changed the system. I just wonder - what happened to the souls and the demons still in Hell at that point, and the Leviathans and other monsters still in Purgatory? Were they just wiped out completely and sent to the Empty? Or did Jack turn them human and add them to the cycle? (I don't think the show clarified whether or not Leviathans have souls, so...)

No matter whether they were monster or demon or even angel, they would eventually be given human life. I broke it down to 'human enough souls' vs. 'not human enough souls'. Human-enough were immediately brought to life with memories and versions of their original bodies, and not-human-enough were sent to the Soul Queue to be born as infants. I assume Leviathan and most demons fall into 'not human enough', therefore, whatever tiny microbe of personality/soul they had was added to the cycle of rebirth and would be translated to a new human soul. Of course this might have a WILDLY different impact on the world depending on how many people go to hell in this system, how many people were 'human enough', etc.... But we're basically fudging those numbers a bit one way or another just to give certain characters the revival they deserve haha.

2. Did Cas drown and die after Chuck threw him in the lake and Jack left their limbo-dream world? If so, did he go through the same question-&-answer situation with Death that Sam & Dean did? Or was he with Jack & Amara when they rebuilt the world?

Cas was already dead/dying even when he was talking to Jack, he was sort of in a different version of the 'Veil' per se. VERY wishy-washy, but basically he and Jack were on a different dream-plane that they were jolted to in the chaos of the disorganised no-Death world.

I think Cas, Rowena, Lucifer, Michael, etc. as beings who were killed after the snap is a bit ambiguous. Rowena and Lucifer, I think, as entities who were demonic-dead or Empty-level-dead pre-Snap probably went through the reincarnation Yes/No Death questionnaire. Cas and Michael might not have since they were technically 'alive' and human before the Snap. Regardless, I think they probably wouldn't remember the interaction even if they had it.

The reason the question happened to the Winchesters AND that they remember it is Main Character Syndrome... they were the only people left alive when Jack and Amara did a hard reset, and that honestly Death took time to chill/exposition at them because he likes them. Really. Despite all appearances. Or respects them enough to let them know what's gone down, anyway.

Metatextually, it was really just to reaffirm to the audience that Dean (and Sam) want to live, in contrast to 15.20 Carry On 😅

3. Did all the snapped people (Eileen, Adam, the Waywards, etc.) also go through the Death question-&-answer process but not remember it, or did Jack & Amara just send them back?

Snapped people were reset automatically! Normally the new-humans also wouldn't remember their interactions with Death/reapers, just like in canon lore when someone like Dean has a near-death experience.

I realise this whole section and various other lore reformation parts of the fic aren't SUPER clear on specific logistics but on some occasions I'm like, I've done enough info-dumping, I don't want to overwrite exposition. But if you think it's worth clarifying certain points let me know and I can try to do so!

For 15x22:

1. The twenty something blonde guy in sunglasses getting hot tea, is that Belphegor? sure sounds like it but I wanted to confirm.

Yep!

2. Since Death mentioned that Jack only resurrected the angels, demons, and monsters from the Empty who had enough of a soul, and since all the human souls from the Veil went to Heaven as confirmed by Kevin's presence, how exactly are Anna's human parents and Bela alive now?

Great question - 1) I SOMEHOW FORGOT ANNA'S PARENTS DIED? Complete screw up on my part, I don't know how that happened. I fixed this so it's her grandparents now. 2) Bela was sent to Hell as part of her deal, so I was assuming she was a demon by this point in canon (since it would be... MANY Hell-years since she died.) Therefore she had a 'human' enough demon soul to be put back as a human.

3. Oh, and the tall woman with the flyer in 15.22; who is this supposed to be? Hannah I’m guessing?

To be honest I didn't have anyone in particular in mind for that scene; it was kind of a catch-all for missing characters like, it COULD be Hannah. It could be Raphael. Hell, it could be Abbadon. I didn't want to do a full shot of every single person missing from the cast who had died (esp since like - we wouldn't know who they were anyway! Their bodies would be different). So this one is literally just fill-in-the-blank. But if I had to assign a character there I'd say it would probably be one of the more arrogant angels like Raphael or Uriel.

For 15x23:

1. How is Bobby in the Roadhouse with the gang? 10x17 seemed to imply the angels were about to throw him in the dungeons to punish him for helping Cas; did Ash hack him out of prison, or was he never imprisoned at all? Also, is Jack not surprised to see another Bobby in Heaven because the boys already told him there was another Bobby besides the one he knows from Apocalypseverse? (I was half-expecting him to comment about that and confuse Bobby).

Oh that's a great point! I think that's another sort of fill in the blank since it's been five years since 10.17... even if he was in prison of some kind, I think it's likely either Ash helped him get out in the same way he helped everyone else, and since the angels were extremely short-staffed I doubt getting Bobby suitably imprisoned/punished was their top priority. But honestly I'm not super clear on how the angels intended to punish Bobby, I don't think canon is clear either... like, We Just Don't Know.

Finally I'd like to know, has Sam proposed to Eileen yet by the end of the final episode? The script doesn't mention a ring on her finger, and as Sam's fiancee, I'd assume she'd also have carved her name on the table. Sam mentions the innuendos Dean has said "in the past year," so it's been a while since Jack's prayer scene, yet Cas says Dean & Claire's argument was the last time they spoke, and it doesn't seem likely to me that Dean wouldn't call Claire in a year given how close they are...

Nope! I think Sam is saying 'I'm going to marry her' as a declaration of certainty of his feelings and faith in the future, not neccessarily as something that immediately happens. With regards to 'in the past year', that referred to the period when Eileen was alive during s15 as well! I assume Dean did teasing off-screen (and I mean, he did plenty on-screen too.)

I honestly think that Sam and Dean are just very very busy in the aftermath of the events of the 15.20 reset, like they have to deal with the new world AND try to wrangle all these hunters into this new system of collaboration. I didn't put Eileen on the table because she isn't there in the finale and because I do think the Sam/Dean/Cas/Jack family unit was a bit more central and important to the show, but maybe they add her (and any possible kids, if they have any) later on. God, imagine generations of hunters and/or Winchesters carving on that table. Sacred Artefact...

(1) Ok that's all the questions I have. Again, so sorry to blow up your inbox - I really appreciate your willingness to clarify these things! If there are some things you'd rather not explain and leave ambiguous, I totally get that. And in spite of these aforementioned confusing parts, I still ADORE your fic and will continue to read it whenever I feel like re-"watching" how Supernatural really ended! Thank you so much!! .... (2) I’m SO sorry to overload u! I know I asked a lot and I didn’t mean to sound like a hater saying “none of ur story makes sense”; that’s not what I meant at all! If this was a regular good ol fix it fic I wouldn’t have said anything but since u said u wanted it to wrap up the show as replacement canon, I thought maybe I should point out places that didn’t line up. But take as MUCH time as you need! Good for you working to meet your deadlines; I hope you succeeded!! And again I really appreciate you taking the time to answer whenever you have time—absolutely no rush!! Have a GREAT Memorial Day Weekend!!!

Anon thank you SO SO much for all these questions, as you can see it really helped me identify problems or straight up errors in my work wrt continuity and I'm so happy that means I can improve it. If any of the answers weren't clear or you think I should modify the fic to make certain things clearer than they are right now (other than the things I said I'd fix in-text for sure) let me know! It's really been a pleasure answering them too, I'm sorry it took me so long to get around to it, I actually went back and proofed/edited the whole fic as part of adding some of these corrections in (and that took like... three weeks...) and as you said, it's very important to me to get it as true to canon as possible so - yeah, just, once again, thank you!! You're wonderful! ♥♥♥

#my fic #anonymous #ask #I should make fic-specific tags. someone remind me to go back and re-tag this blog with those sigh #every time I post on this blog I say that every single time #on round like. 20 of corrections now for this fic #post-posting #'goldenrod' revisions. laughable #we're easily on second cherry revisions now #the goldenrod revisions #my meta

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readingsbylibramc · 3 years ago

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birth chart reading for @phoneixfromtheashes

hello! welcome to your reading. I’m gonna give you a quick overview of what I’m going to analyze about your natal chart. feel free to ask me anything if something isn’t clear, of course. you’ll find out your dominants’ influence on your persona, your physical appearance, impression on others and the way you approach the world; your ego, identity, the real you; your reactions, your desires, inner emotions; your way of expressing your feelings, your mind and ideas; your desires and approach to love; your energy tank, instincts and temperament; in-depth analysis of each house with their rulers and analysis of heavy aspects; love life + soulmates/karmic partners interpretation; your relationship with your friends; your family life; your approach to career and work in general + possible jobs suggestion; your style, fashion sense analysis; life purpose and past life description; basic transits’ analysis to describe your current mood and, last but not least, your secret skills, how to make the most out of your soul and manifest what you desire based on your birth chart.

🦋 chart shape, dominants

your chart is a locomotive shape. this means that you're a very ambitious person, with a lot of energy. pluto has a big influence on you, and your life revolves around understanding your feelings, transformation and emotional growth. the empty part of your life is what you have to develop, hence your family, career life and also your mental health.

your dominant planets are mars, venus and the sun. you are definitely a very charismatic and charming individual! you have high standards and big goals for your life that you are motivated to achieve. you could come off as a know-it-all as you're quite confident, but you have a very caring and affectionate side to you that others may not see at first.

your dominant sign is aries. you may have a reputation for being impulsive and straight-forward. you don't like beating around the bush, especially when people purposely get on your nerves. on the other hand, you're very loyal and generous when it comes to your loved ones. you're very opinionated, and you always wanna make sure that your voice is heard. you're proud of yourself.

your dominant element is air. in your life, you adore seeking for knowledge of any kind. you may be interested in studying different subjects, from those you study at school like science, maths, literature etc. to more unconventional ones, such as astrology, psychology, criminology and so on. you enjoy interacting with people; even if you’re not that sociable, you’ll still be interested in their point of view and their ideals, as you see it as a way to expand your own mind. you’re also interested in vintage, and you may have a retro aesthetic or just like history in general.

🌎 ascendant in sagittarius, 19° / 2nd decan ruled by jupiter and mars

you see the world as an adventure. I feel like you typically don’t relate to sagittarius ascendant stereotypes; sag risings are usually very happy-go-lucky, they smile often, but pluto being conjunct to it may change things a bit. you’re more of a loner, you’re not as extroverted as other sagittariuses. you may relate more to scorpio rising, actually. ironically, you often look sad or angry. you have a knack for philosophy, and your favourite is most probably ‘you only live once’. you tame dying before making the amount of experiences you want to have in your life, hence you could even be impulsive sometimes. you’re the type to always be up to crack a joke or anything that can make you and others smile, yet when someone gets against you, it’s over for them. you have quite of a sharp tongue, you’re pretty blunt and straight-forward. in fact, you may often get in troubles due to your impulsiveness, which may be misunderstood. you have an incredible charm to you; it’s not like taurus’ or libra’s, those are more related to physical traits. sagittarius people, on the other hand, are surely very talented at something; maybe, at school you were one of the best students, and everyone recognized it and appreciated you for that; people understand your potential, and you may often receive compliments for your skills. basically, your personality is charismatic. due to pluto being conjunct the ascendant, I feel like you may even struggle too much with pessimism during your first years, but in case you are, you shouldn’t be. jupiter is also your dominant planet, and it’s willing to give you the best of luck if you respect its themes. hence, you need to have faith in the universe and be optimistic. try to look more at the positive sides in life and even in people. physically, sagittarius is all about abundance, hence you may have trouble losing weight. you could have big bones, or at least something bigger on your body that doesn’t make you look like a victoria’s secret’s model. you’re more on the thick side, in fact you probably have a pear/hourglass body shape, with wider hips and/or thick thighs and lower body in general. you could also have wide shoulders, and something big and memorable on your face as well. maybe you have a very distinctive nose, or perhaps your eyes are almond-shaped. your forehead and lips could be pretty wide as well. I’ve also noticed that sagittarius people have a very lively sparkle in their eyes, even though they may be very dark. it’s like having two/three tiny diamonds at the centre of each of your eyes.

sagittarius ascendant conjunct sagittarius pluto: pluto, combined with your sagittarius rising makes you look a little bit naive. people may try to take advantage of you, and to defend yourself you tend to become bossy. you’re really competitive, and feel the constant need to prove others’ wrong, even though it’s not the best way to do it. in your life, you could encounter lots of enemies that may try to stop you from transforming yourself. or maybe, your grandfather is an authoritative figure in your life and in your family’s in general, and his influence has a big impact on your life. also, something I’ve noticed about pluto conjunct ascendant individuals is that they may feel unhappy when they’re young. as time goes by, they transform and become as they want, which makes them feel more satisfied with themselves.

🌞 sun in capricorn, 28° / 3rd decan ruled by saturn and mercury

you are an extremely hard-working and responsible person, even though you may struggle with self-esteem as a child. in fact, you're quite insecure about yourself. you're a perfectionist, you always want to be at your best state, and that could pressure you. since you were a child, you always took care of your responsibilities, in fact you probably didn't find yourself at ease around your peers at school. you get along more with older people, or that are at least as mature as you, as you grew up sooner than other kids, with a strong sense of duty. you tend to be a bit too materialistic; for example, when thinking about a gift, you immediately think about something material that costs money, not something handmade, for example. money is very important for you, and you aspire to achieve a great status in life. you're also quite pessimistic, you never set your expectations too high, mostly out of fear. you're constantly afraid that things could turn out the way you don't want them to be, as you always want to have everything under control. because of that, you may even appear as bossy or snobby, as you may have the impulse to control people as well. you don't do it out of malice, though, it's something very subconscious that comes from fear. fear of not being able to achieve your goals and being criticized by others.

capricorn sun conjunct aquarius venus: you enjoy peace and harmony. you want your surroundings to look all neat and clean, and same goes for the people you surround yourself with. you wish people saw you as easy to approach, even though you may struggle with your image. you try to be as formal and kind as possible with people you don’t know well, unless they start getting on your nerves by disagreeing with your opinions or being too bossy. you’re very feminine, not only in your looks and manners but also in the way you dress. you’re quite romantic too, and dream of having a perfect marriage. the downside to this aspect is that because you take so much care of yourself, people may mistake your self-love for vanity, especially with your capricorn sun. also, your self-esteem may depend too much on others’ opinion of you; you may start thinking you’re ugly and unworthy of love just because someone told you you’re not their type, to sum up.

🌙 moon in aries, 1° / 1st decan ruled by mars

you aim for greatness. this is where your strong desire to be the #1 comes from, pretty much. you're very proud of yourself, and you don't like to acknowledge your mistakes. you always want to look like you have your life together, even in certain moments when you feel lost. I would say that this is a sort of self-sabotaging mechanism, as you can literally go as far as forcing a smile if it shows the world that you can stand by yourself. overall, I would say you deal with your emotions in a very 'child-like' way; after all, aries is pretty self-centered. you tend to preserve yourself more, unless someone really special to you is involved. in fact, aries moon makes you really protective of your loved and trusted ones, even though they're not many because of your high standards. you're also very honest, you speak from your heart. while it's a positive trait, you may be too blunt and ruin your relationships because of that. you're both smart and fast, hence you may get annoyed when people mishear or misunderstand your words

aries moon conjunct aries mars: your feelings are very intense. you may tend to react aggressively, or at least overreact. you feel the constant need to express your emotions, but you also want to be understood by others. you tend to be aggressive because you're actually afraid that others may be the first ones to hurt you. you don't really do it with malice, it's your way to defend yourself from eventual enemies. this placement also indicates that your childhood / family life was or will be quite turbulent. to cope with this placement, I'd suggest you to be a little bit more mechanic when you express your feelings. you don't have to hide them, just try not to vent all your anger around.

aries moon square cancer jupiter: you enjoy making different experiences and living your life to the fullest, making you also a risk-taker. you may lack self-control. with this trait you get bored easily, and you may have a reputation for being flaky. you tend to overindulge; you may spend too much money, or even develop eating disorders like binge-eating. at least, you're able to build your life again and have a fresh start, but you risk to get stuck in this cycle. you have the potential to master different talents, but you may struggle to develop them due to this placement. you're a procrastinator, and you find it hard to focus on more things at the same time. you may also attract people with different beliefs and ideas from you, causing you to fall out with them easily. there are also positive sides to this placement, though! you're probably naturally lucky, even though luck may not always be by your side. you have a nice sense of humor, making you more likeable to contrast your pluto conjunct your rising.

🗣 mercury in aquarius, 14° / 2nd decan ruled by uranus and mercury

mercury is exalted in the sign of aquarius, so this is definitely a beneficial placement! you have a very distinctive way of thinking and speaking. you don't like being like others, you don't follow trends. you're probably the trendsetter, and you may find confidence and pride in your ideas and opinions. some may even define you weird, but you have very strong beliefs that could actually be helpful for the world. you're quite 'ahead' of others from this point of view, you're able to find beauty in things without being influenced by others. for example, you may follow a fashion trend before it gets viral. you are able to come up with very innovative ways of solving problems, you're extremely creative. you may even be the type to invent your own words, or perhaps you love learning and reading new words, you have a wide vocabulary. you're also probably interested in science and any darker or logical topic, you want to use your words and theories to change something in the world. you want to leave an impact, maybe even help others through your mind. you have a very witty sense of humor, you most likely speak fluent sarcasm and you're also very astute. I would say that the only problem with this placement is that you may come off as a know-it-all. you're proud of your intellect, you can't help but show it off, but obviously others may be jealous of you or feel attacked. for your voice, I assume you have a very particular tone, maybe even a nasal voice. mercury is also retrograde, so you may have troubles communicating your thoughts in a clear and understandable way. due to this, people may misunderstand your ideas and opinions and viceversa. you're more introspective, you're better at thinking than speaking, which may make you more of a listener.

❤️ venus in aquarius, 0° / 1st decan ruled by uranus

when it comes to love, you actually step out of your comfort-zone! aquarius is unpredictable; that is, you're not into clichés. sure, you need a loyal partner who's stable both emotionally and financially, but at the same time they must have something unique about them. you're not the type to fall for the first guy you see down the street. in addition to that, you're not into the typical, cheesy romantic stuff. you want your partner to be a friend, not only a boyfriend/husband. you want to feel able to talk and vent to them, just like you'd do with a friend, but also someone that is willing to stay with you through thick and thin. you hardly fall in love at first sight, and you act quite casually around your crushes. in fact, most of the times you come off as so detached that you hardly look like you're interested in someone. people could get intimidated from you because of that, in fact sometimes you just wish you could be the one taking the lead and ask others out, and maybe you do. also, you need a partner that can stimulate you mentally. you can't stand a boring relationship with no amusement and excitement, you want someone that can constantly surprise you in some way. in fact, you'd probably choose brains over looks. last but no least, you hate feeling committed. that doesn't mean that you're unloyal, not at all. but you can't be with someone possessive that wants to take control of your life, it would be the death of you. you're able to stand up on your own.

aquarius venus conjunct aquarius neptune: this placement balances your strict, detached aquarius venus combined with your materialistic earth energy, giving you a place in your heart for romance. you probably dream of a love like those you hear about in fairytales; you're not only looking for a partner, you literally want a princess/prince, who's willing to give their all to you. you find yourself daydreaming often about love, and it may also be your source of inspiration for creativity and art in general. probably, you may idealize people too much; that is, you may create a version of others that only exists in your head. hence, once you get to know someone better, they turn out to be the exact opposite of what you thought. this causes you to be sort of naive when it comes to relationships, so pay extra attention to this problem now that you're aware of it.

☄️ mars in aries, 0° / 1st decan ruled by mars

you're very impulsive, it's natural for you to act before you think. you're motivated to pursue your goals. you're a natural born leader, you love being the boss and being seen as a point of reference, even though this could make you seem a bit bossy when working in groups. people may see you as fearless, but that's because you don't think much about your decisions. even if you make a wrong choice, you don't give up and try anything to solve it. in fact, you can't stand losing. you're a serious competitor, you always strive for the 1st place. that's also caused by the fact that, with your capricorn sun, you're likely afraid that people could see you as too weak, and then take advantage of your kindness. you're very defensive, but your purpose isn't hurting others, but protecting yourself.

aries mars square cancer jupiter: you easily come off as more assertive and arrogant than you actually are. you say things impulsively, and sometimes you’re too blunt and hurt people’s feelings. you don’t do it on purpose, though, there’s no malice behind your acts; it’s just your natural way to express your opinions. you’re also very competitive, and this may make you look selfish. on a positive side, you probably have a naturally nice body (or maybe you react fast to diet/workout). you’re a risk-taker, and if you’re not you should try breaking the rules sometimes (obviously not doing illegal stuff lol). in fact, it’s when you’re both physically and mentally active that you’re able to come up with even better ideas, as you’re full of creativity. to cope with this placement, you can try doing something fun to challenge your mind, basically get out of your comfort-zone. of course you don’t have to overdo it, but it would be beneficial.

🏡 houses

your 1st house is in sagittarius, with also the sun, chiron and venus placed there. you come off as someone very sympathetic and bold, you're probably the fun one in the family or in your group of friends, even though pluto's presence conjunct the ascendant may delay this energy. you are very charismatic, you have a witty sense of humor and people are always pleased to have you around, as you're able to light up the room. people always see you as someone easy to talk to, someone trustworthy. you probably have great problem-solving skills or, otherwise, you just ignore your problems and wait for time to heal. you're also quite spiritual, you may be sensitive to higher entities and you could possibly also be religious. chiron is also here: your deepest insecurity is your appearance, your identity. it may be that when you were younger, you used to struggle a lot with your appearance. you could have been bullied, or perhaps you could have suffered from an eating disorder. luckily, this placement can get better. in fact, you can gain wisdom from this wound of yours; you can heal others who have self-worth issues once you start loving yourself. your sun and venus here definitely make you very attractive! people often find you charming, even if you're not conventionally beautiful there's something about you that makes you attract people. you'll become more confident and aware of your charisma as you grow up.

your 2nd house is in aquarius. neptune, uranus and mercury are also placed there. your relationship with money isn’t stable at all. you may often go from periods where you earn a lot of money and possessions, to other times where you lose all of them all of a sudden. same thing goes for your self-esteem, it fluctuates a lot. you find beauty and aesthetic in material things; you most probably love clothes, art, music… anything that isn’t exactly a priority in life, but that allows you to express your personal taste, which is very refined. this placement makes you very creative, and hence you could make money out of your creativity. it would be a great way to find a job and become successful, but also to increase your security and confidence. you could even be a very innovative person, and with your capricorn sun you would make an excellent leader / boss. you could also make money through internet or with technology in general. looking ridiculous is your biggest fear, hence you end up overworking to prove yourself that you're capable to do anything you want. you have a slow way of thinking and speaking. your voice may sound really calm and pleasant to hear, yet still strict and ambitious. you’re probably a good singer, or at least have the potential to become one. you tend to overthink a lot, but you eventually get to a conclusion and stick to it. no one is gonna change your mind. you enjoy learning and working in creative ways; you might enjoy using powerpoints, flashcards or maybe study with your friends, or listening to music. you also probably have a nice, aesthetic handwriting and you like organizing your agenda. your voice is probably very soft and youthful.

your 3rd house is in pisces, with also the moon and mars placed there. when it comes to speech, you’re most likely more introspective. you may not be much talkative, and most of the time you keep your ideas and thoughts to yourself, but actually it's hard for you to hide them. you may be secretive, but you're easy to read. you learn the best when you’re close to creativity or imagination, you’re very intuitive and hence it's easier for you to learn new topics. while you're very empathetic and you're able to properly convey your thoughts and feelings in your speech, you may also come off as sensitive or even insecure. you may have a quiet voice, and hence you could come off as shy. on the other hand, you may have the tendency to lie, or just being confusing in any way. you may not always express what you want crystal clear, as you want to able to modify the story just in case you encounter some hardships. also, you never truly express your feelings, probably out of fear. probably, the way you elaborate your thoughts is also influenced by your family and the impact they had on you. you’re always vague, and you keep your private matters for yourself. pisces is a mutable sign, so you may also find yourself changing ideas often, your mind wanders from one thought to another. your intellect is your greatest strenght, it’s your energy tank. you’re interested in a bunch of things, and hence you may have troubles staying focused on one thing at the time. you probably have tons of hobbies, and you may end up not being much precise since you have tons of things that you have and want to do. you can’t stand boredom, you need your day-to-day life to be exciting and, above all, offer you something new to learn and / or experience. you're very curious about the world, you always want to be informed about the latest news and everything that surrounds you in general. this could make you love gossip and journalism, for example. in fact, you're quite chatty, you love talking to others, and you're likely to have a good sense of humor as well. you live to fill up your mind with knowledge, and you love sharing what you learn with others. in some cases, you may even come off as a bit of a know-it-all.

your 4th house is in aries. while outside you may appear as very polite, when you feel comfortable you actually become way more fiery. you’re very impulsive in your home environment, you could have been some sort of warrior in your childhood. maybe you used to argue a lot with your parents, perhaps because they were too overprotective. yet, I don't see any kind of trauma. you may have a very strong emotional bond with your family, even though you may argue often as you're all pretty sensitive and impulsive. you could be particularly attached to your mother, even though you used to argue a lot. you may also have a foreign background to you, perhaps you moved houses a lot when you were younger or you were in contact with people from all over the world. you could have also travelled a lot, you got to make lots of experiences growing up.

your 5th house is in taurus. you are a very creative, artistic person. you’re able to relax by watching netflix, eating, writing, painting… anything that can be done at home. you’re not the type to hang out too often or party all night, you’re more of a homebody. you could also love sleeping in, just being able to stay in bed all day wearing comfy clothes is a vacation for you. you always try to be at your best state, and you want those who surround you to be perfect too. it's hard for you to fall for someone, as you take everything in consideration: personality, physical appearance, fashion sense... it may look like it is too much, but once you find the right one that truly satisfies your standards, you're in for a long ride. you'll want to travel, live your life in the best way possible with the person you love.

your 6th house is in gemini, with also saturn sitting there. in your daily routine, especially at work, you have to communicate a lot. you come in contact with lots of people, or maybe you write stuff like blogs or books. generally, you have a very hectic schedule, as you have different hobbies and appointments that you can’t abandon. this placement indicates that you may be prone to overwork yourself, as you put a lot energy in your job. you could be quite superficial in a certain sense, and you’d risk to waste your potential with as you may take your job as a challenge, for example, you need to feel mentally stimulated to like it. in fact, your ideal career has to include something that allows you to express your personal taste, ideas and interests. in this way, it won’t feel too heavy to you, and you’ll find pleasure in working. as for your health, you may have problems with your bones, for example with your back or teeth, or to your lungs. you may suffer from anxiety or asthma, for instance, or anything that doesn't allow you to breath properly.

your 7th house is in gemini. jupiter is also placed there. in a partner, you seek someone intelligent that is able to keep up with your rhythm. you don’t have time to nurture someone, you want them to fully understand you. in fact, you may be more attracted to older partners, as they’re supposed to be more mature. I don’t see many issues arising in your marriage life, it will probably be very peaceful, but it may take you a while to find someone you like. you’re a picky person when it comes to love, you want someone hard-working and responsible with a big brain, yet they should also be quite outgoing and funny. you need mental stimulation, someone that is a constant adventure for you and that is worth exploring. you may meet your future spouse at work, according to your chart. otherwise, you could meet them in a bank, in a restaurant, at a concert, at the mall… also, they could help you gaining more confidence in yourself. you may be the type that likes making new experiences regarding love, and you often date your crushes. yet, you feel too limited in a relationship. you don't enjoy committing to someone if that someone isn't perfect for you, you're only completely loyal to the one you consider your true love. you can't give up your freedom, your thirst for adventure and experiences for someone else. basically, your ideal partner would be a risk-taker, someone loyal but not too clingy, that is down to go on a road trip in every moment. someone impulsive, that could help you stepping out of your comfort-zone. you're probably into those youthful love stereotypes, e.g. high school dates. you want your relationships to be filled with excitement, you despise boring, traditional and cheesy things. you may also find yourself being attracted to unavailable people; that is, you could fall for people that are already taken, or maybe they're physically unavailable, e.g they live abroad or in another city in general. you're also attracted to foreigners, and people that have a wise, yet bubbly aura around them.

your 8th house is in leo. you have the potential to become a very successful individual, with a great amount of charisma. yet, since the 8th house is related to pluto, the malefic planet of transformation, there are some hardships to this placement. in fact, you may have the tendency to look down on people that aren’t as open-minded as you are. I have the same placement, so I understand that it’s not easy at all, but you should learn to accept respectful people’s opinions. if you do that, you’ll finally be able to glow brightly. you’re very curious when it comes to taboo topics, you like learning about them. you’re probably into conspiracy theories, as well as matters like astrology, tarots, horror, tragedies, mystery... you can use them to transform yourself and grow up, so you could definitely use this birth chart reading to improve yourself. 8th house is also the house of karma, and yours is kind of strange. you may often feel like you’re right about something, e.g the sky is blue. you’re very proud of your observation, but then it turns out to be different. it’s like the universe is constantly teaching you new things. luckily, this is something that gets better with time.

your 9th house is in virgo. at school you were a very diligent student; you were practical, precise and organized, you enjoyed studying at being the best in class. yet, you could be quite bossy at times, as you could come off as a bit too arrogant but you're just very dedicated. on the other hand, you're also very intelligent and open-minded above all, you could feel particularly drawn to foreign cultures and languages and you could be naturally skilled. you may also get to travel a lot or even move abroad at a certain point in your life, you're definitely a citizen of the world and you hardly ever have prejudices.

your 10th house is in libra. you have an eye for aesthetics, and you want to have a reputation for looking classy and mannered. basically a lady, but that knows how to stand up for herself. in your ideal career you need something that makes you express your need for beauty, possibly even justice. you may have a passion for poetry and literature in general, or maybe you could be particularly skilled at fashion. you have a natural talent to match colours with undertones, body shapes, vibes etc., and you could make this particular ability of yours a job. you’re also a charismatic, strong-willed speaker, hence you could also do well as a lawyer, a politician, an activist etc.

your 11th house is in scorpio. you are extremely picky with your friends. you have trust issues, probably caused by your karmic issues again, that make you secretive around your friends. you may close yourself in your shell, or maybe you actually know a lot of people, yet you only consider a few of them your friends. most of the time, you may also befriend people that try to take advantage of you, people may betray you often. or perhaps, since there’s a possibility that you understand that, you could be the one who leads the group and acts quite bossy. this is something that gets naturally better with time; actually, your friends will be of great help for you to grow up. you may have big dreams for your future, yet you may feel intimidated as they’re very intense, and hence hard to make come true. you need to pay your karmic debts in order to finally feel comfortable with others and have the motivation to achieve your long-term goals.

your 12th house is in sagittarius, and pluto is also sitting there. you're particularly interested in religion and higher beliefs, hence meditation would be effective for you. yet, you need to get enough sleep, or you could not be able to fully embrace the spirituality of this placement. you may also be able to have prophetic dreams, or at least they have a strong moral beyond them. possibly, you could make lots of good dreams, even though you do have many nightmares as well. perhaps, your dreams could bring you luck; for instance, you may dream about the winning numbers of the lottery, or maybe they may warn you about certain people or events in your life that could harm, you are strongly connected to your higher self.

❤️ love life, soulmates

in love you attract gemini, sagittarius, leo, virgo and taurus. your future spouse will most probably have sagittarius, virgo and leo placements, hence they’ll be very hard-working, intelligent and witty, but also very cheerful and a bit moody. it may be love at first sight, and you may find them very attractive. you may also meet at work, or you're going to be introduced to them by your family or friends. or perhaps, you're going to marry someone older than you, and you meet them later in your life, around your 27s/28s and so on. your children will be heavy in taurus and libra placements, hence they’ll be very creative and quite lazy too, they'll probably love eating and they will like playing around. yet, they could be a bit too stubborn and sometimes materialistic.

👶🏻 family life

your mother is a very fiery person, with a short-temper. she could have sometimes even been quite violent with you during your childhood, and she might have a bit of a childish behaviour. deep down, she’s actually kind of insecure with her role as a mother. she may have aries, libra or leo placements in her chart. your father, on the other hand, is more submissive. he’s a peaceful person, even though he most probably has a passive-aggressive behaviour. you could actually have a better relationship with him rather than with your mother, or at least he understands your needs better. he may have libra, taurus or scorpio, as well as pisces in his chart. if you have siblings, they most probably have pisces, capricorn, virgo, gemini or aquarius placements in their chart. you have a great relationship with them, even though it could have been a while for you to get along. overall, your relationship with them was peaceful.

📊 career

you could do well at a variety of jobs to be honest! with your gemini in the 6th house you could actually work in different fields before sticking to one career, hence you’re pretty experienced. I certainly see you being successful in your career, you will most likely work alone and you'll most likely be a boss or even famous. you're very hard-working, so I can see you having your own business for example. otherwise, you may also do well in an aesthetic field, you probably have great creative talent. you may be an artist, a creative director, a screenwriter, a writer, a singer, a musician... or even more practical jobs like lawyer, judge, possibly also a therapist or psychologist. you'll settle down on a career that will make you feel emotionally fulfilled, you'll truly enjoy what you do.

👕 fashion sense, style analysis

you probably have a very particular style. it probably describes who you are. you may be into traditional pieces of clothing that are always a must: cardigans, blazers, plain t-shirts, jeans etc. you probably wear natural shades of colours, hence white, beige, grey etc. or maybe also pastel colors. you may also be into retro fashion trends, especially 70s/80s. you don't like following fashion trends, you prefer making your own.

👁 past life, life purpose

in your past life, the focus was on yourself. maybe, you had troubles with self-esteem and identity in general. you had to work hard and finally understand who you were to fulfill your past life purpose. hence, this lifetime your focus will be on the bonds you create with others. even though at first you might feel almost scared to the idea of marriage, this lifetime you're here to develop this matter. after all, you may despise love for your troubled past. with your north node in the 7th house, you're naturally lucky in love. there's nothing to be afraid of, you only need to take small steps and open your heart to someone, putting your worries and insecurities aside.

🤔 major transits analysis / august 20

transit moon is currently conjunct your natal venus in your first house. this placement indicates that you could be feeling particularly moody lately, but also very affectionate and needy, you're craving attention. you may dream about your loved ones or even about your crush or partner for example. also, with transit jupiter in your 2nd house conjunct your uranus, you may come across unexpected luck in these days, so pay attention to any signs! they were most likely meant to be.

🧿 manifest what you want, secret skills

the best way for you to manifest is idealizing and acting at the same time. you have both energies combined in your chart, which is great actually! I’d suggest you to first picture what you want in your life, and then do something concrete to manifest it. for example, let’s suppose you want this gucci bag; first, think about it deeply. then, you could try going into a gucci shop and just walk around, maybe even touch that bag. you’ll get results if you believe it! it’s also great to write and read/listen your own positive affirmations, such as 'I love my gucci bag’, 'the gucci bag my mom gave me is amazing’ and so on.

this is the end! thank you again for booking a reading, hope it resonated with you :)

-libramc xx

#astrology

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thoughtsofanexcitedspacechild · 4 years ago

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25 more things I learned during a global pandemic from your Local Teenage Train wreck :) (Pt. 2)

1. Gaining weight is okay. Losing weight is okay. Bodies fluctuate and are inconsistent. Just make sure that you’re trying your best to be healthy, whatever that means for you.

2. School is hard, especially during a global. freaking. pandemic. Don’t beat yourself up if it’s harder to get up in the morning or your grades aren’t as high as they usually are. It’s hard right now.

3. You’re mental health comes above all. School, responsibilities, and personal projects are not worth your time if it’s affecting your mental health. If your gut is telling you to take a break, take a break!

4. If you feel lonely, get a plant to keep in your room. Do some research as to that plants do best with the type of lighting in your room, and figure out some basic care instructions. Have someone to take care of besides yourself. Name your plants, and take care of them.

5. Even if you’re not good at writing, I suggest you keep a journal during this time. It kept me sane over the summer, and even though I eventually stopped because of limited time with school starting back up, it helped to keep me sane in the worst of the pandemic.

6. If you’re spiritual (or even if you’re not) learn how to do shadow work. This isn’t anything that has to be spiritual or done in just one religion. It’s basically giving yourself a chance and a space to be open and honest with yourself and to learn what you might need to work on through writing. If you google it, you can find a more in depth explanation, and prompts to start doing it. You basically give yourself a prompt. They can be questions like “What’s the biggest lie you’ve told someone else or yourself?” or they can be a little less heavy like “What are five non physical things that you genuinely like about yourself?”. This can be pretty heavy, and can dig up some unwanted emotions, but that’s the whole point; to deal with the emotions you may have been repressing and letting fester inside of you.

7. On days when you’re not feeling well mentally, take a break. It’s okay to drop everything and get an extra hour of sleep, read, or do something else to make yourself feel better.

8. After hard days, I know the last thing you want to do is get up and continue on, but here are some ways to do it:

- lay out an outfit that’s put together, but not as over the top. No sweat pants or crappy clothes, but it doesn’t have to be your usual put together outfits with a full face of makeup. A nice crewneck and a nice pair of black athletic leggings can go a long way.

-wear your comfort jewelry. I wear my beaded necklace that I bought for myself, the silver ring my grandma gave me and the gold cross ring that my mom gave to me when I got confirmed.

-eat breakfast. A handful of cereal will do. Anything. But eat something. I like to make oatmeal. It sounds boring but if you make it right, it tastes just perfect for mornings when you don’t feel hungry but know inside that you are. Recipe is next on the list :)

-go to school. I know you want to lay in bed. I know the last place you want to be is a crowded building full of pubescent teens that aren’t nice, but go. Go to learn. Go to absorb knowledge like a sponge, and don’t worry if you fail and lose some of the water, because you can always soak it up later.

-if you have practice, rehearsal, a game, whatever, be gentle on yourself. Today might not be your best day physically, because the brain controls everything. Forgive yourself if you can’t land that double pirouette, get to the high note, or make that assist. You’re abilities are stagnant, and they’re going to change depending on how you feel

-When you get home, turn off your phone. Friends, social media, etc. can wait. Set a timer for one hour. Do work for just that hour. When the timer rings, finish what you were doing and then stop. Now have a 20 minute break and do something that’s not screen related. Read a book, draw something; heck, stare at the wall for 20 minutes and space out. When the timer rings, do another hour and repeat the same process until it’s all done.

-have a playlist you listen to to heal you. Sad boi hours are ok, just make sure to have a playlist of songs that get you moving again.

-Sleep. Even if that means putting off work for tomorrow. It’s ok. You really need it.

9. Oatmeal seems gross until you know how to prepare it. When you do, it’s revolutionary. It’s a high volume, low calorie food, so you’ll stay full for a while without overeating, all while consuming less calories than you would with a traditional breakfast cereal.

The right way to make it:

-measure out half a cup of old fashioned oats. Not steel cut. Those aren’t as good.

-MOST IMPORTANT STEP: add half a cup of water and half a cup of milk of your choice. I personally like almond milk because it’s kind of sweet already even when it’s unsweetened.

-SECOND MOST IMPORTANT STEP: add a pinch of salt, a sprinkle of cinnamon, and allspice, and a teaspoon or two of maple syrup. This is what makes it taste palatable. It’s less sugar than store-bought, and tastes amazing.

-Microwave that shit for one minute and stir. It should look kind of lumpy, but not a ton. Then, put another minute on. Stir at every half increment. (After 30 seconds, every 15 seconds, and then every 7) This is so it doesn’t boil over. Then, take it out, stir it one last time, and let it sit for a second.

-Wash up some berries to put in it. I love blueberries and or blackberries.

perfect oatmeal every. single. time. Feel free to add more toppings like nuts or if you wanna treat yourself chocolate or substitute the spices, but this is honestly one of my favorite breakfasts that keeps me full throughout the day.

10. Learn a new language. Yes, Duolingo is annoying, but do it. Find one that you’ll like to learn and that’s easy for you. Try them on like old clothes and find one that fits just right. For me, it’s French. Expose yourself to that language. Listen to music, read books (or try to) and watch movies with subtitles. Soon enough, you’ll be eager to learn more.

11. Learn how to use notion.com. It’s super amazing. You can literally keep track of your entire life there. It’s pretty fun to use as well. I made schedules for each day after school, a reading log, a want to read list, a personal habit tracker, etc, and they’re all extremely helpful.

12. Make a list of things you weren’t allowed to do as a kid and do one every day. Heal your inner child by finally itching the spot that may not have been scratched for years.

13. Learn how to make origami stars. They’re really easy, and I can’t recommend Maqaroon’s (Joanna’s) video on how to make them enough. Once you’ve got it down, get yourself a nice big jar and write down things you’re grateful for on the slips of paper you’re going to fold. Fill up your gratitude jar and make a wish once it’s full. It will come true.

14. Have 30 minutes a day to put your phone down and read. Yes. You will have to sacrifice something to do this, but it’s so important and good for not only information retention and learning, but for mental health as well. Even if you have to get up half an hour earlier to do it, it’s worth it.

15. It’s okay to be alone, but learn to recognize the difference between alone and lonely. If you’re lonely, here are some things to do:

-write a letter to a friend. It’s something nice you can do for yourself and others, and it’s not feeding into the toxic instant reply culture that we live in

-read a book or watch a show that gets you to connect with the characters, even if that means (I've said it before and I’ll say it again) rereading a favorite ya series or binging atla for the fiftieth time. It’s good for the soul.

-take a walk and smile at the people you see coming past. Again, it’s good for the soul.

-go to the coffee shop and ask the barista to make you a drink that tastes like “_____” (insert whatever you want there. It could be a color, song, feeling, etc.) It’s weird and uncomfortable, but it gives you a conversation starter and 9.9 times out of 10 a really good drink. (Also helpful for when you think the barrista’s cute)

-Reading in general. It opens up so many new worlds with the turn of a page.

16. Monitor your food intake. No, don’t restrict your food intake, monitor it. This means first seeing exactly what your putting in your body and altering it to gradually improve to a clean diet. Humans weren’t built to process all the preservatives, additives and sugars found in most processed food (cereals, chips, anything in a foil bag that’s either really sweet or really salty) and it’s important to cut down and if possible eliminate as much as you can of it out of your diet. Food is fuel, and you truly are what you eat. You’ll notice that by increasing your vegetable intake, reducing white processed sugars and carbs*, and cutting out sodas/extra sugars, that you’ll feel better. This isn’t a weight loss thing, but you may start to trim down a little bit once you go more intense with it. You don’t have to eliminate anything fully, and please enjoy your favorite “bad” foods! Everything in moderation is perfect! Just make sure that you’re getting the good stuff in there too! *Side note, do NOT cut out carbs! See my post on how I’m losing weight to get more into depth on this.

17. Buy fresh flowers for yourself. Who says that you have to wait for someone else? That’s completely false, and you should totally treat yourself to a nice bouquet on occasion, especially in the dead of winter.

18. The whole idea of self love is flawed. Loving yourself has nothing to do with the way you look. Loving yourself comes with genuinely loving your life. If you don't love the way you’re living, change it. Make and set goals. Fail at achieving those goals. Get back up and try again until you finally get it, but make sure that whatever you’re doing, you’re doing to love the life you live. Life doesn’t live you. You live life.

19. Have candles and incense. (Or a diffuser if you’re not allowed to burn stuff) Making your environment smell good makes a huge difference

20. Once you turn 18, get a tattoo. It doesn’t have to mean anything. Pick something small and get it behind your ear, on your ankle, wrist, fingers, whatever. You’ll love having the memory when your old.

21. Realize your worth. We often put ourselves down because we think that valuing ourselves is equivalent to selfishness. It’s not. At all. You are just as important as everyone else. Your voice matters too.

22. Go to art museums

23. Go to free concerts in the park

24. Expose yourself to new art, ideas, and literature

25. Life is gonna suck sometimes. It’s just how it is. That doesn’t mean a bad day’s gonna last forever. As cheesy as it is, keep your head up :)

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captain-jinguji · 5 years ago

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Sorry for asking again because your writing is good but what would the boys, (all 3 or 2 or even 1! Your choice!) Reactions be if their crush that they had a crush on for 1234567810 years confesses that they like them? How would they be?

Hey love! Theres NO LIMIT to how many requests you can send, so send as many as you want! I feel like HEAVENS doesn't get a lot of love so i wrote for all of them :3

STARISH + QUARTET NIGHT + HEAVENS reacting to their crush liking them back

STARISH:

Natsuki:

Doesn't even let you finish the sentence before he embraces you. All he heard was "...and I like you, like, as more than a friend." And was overcome with joy. "Awee! I was so worried (Y/N)-chan! I thought you didnt like me like that. I'm so glad you feel the same!!"

Tokiya:

Was planning to tell you over a cute little date. Had everything planned out and the dinner went so perfect. He was so nervous underneath his little façade and took your hand in his to kind of ground himself but then you blurted out that you like him and he was kind of shook? He was the one who was supposed to say it? What? Just blinks at you for a second and then softly smiles "I was just about to say that but i suppose you beat me to it. I like you too, (Y/N), I hope we can expand our relationship."

Cecil:

You were probably listening to one of his stories of Agnapolis when you just commented how cute he was by accident and silence fell over you two. He'd try to laugh it off at first until he realizes the opportunity but then you apologized and said that you always thought he was attractive and that you like him way more than a friend and hes overcome with such joy! 10/10 jumps into your arms and tells you that he's felt the same way. "I love you, too, my princess!" Plz dont comment on how he went straight to the big words. He truly does love you.

Ren:

Doesnt talk about his feelings and tried to avoid them for soooo long but then you just had to go ahead and step in front of him like that. On one hand, a huge pressure is lifted off of his chest that you feel the same way, on the other hand he wanted to confess in the most romantic way possible? "Lady… *chuckles* I was supposed to tell you that. Either way, I feel the same way."

Otoya:

Honestly it's so obvious that he likes you because he's just a blushing stuttering mess all the time around you. He always thought he messed up his chances by being so awkward so when you tell him you like him too he almost breaks down crying because omg you like him too!!! Grabs your shoulders and almost yells, "I like you too (Y/N)! A-and i have for a while… youre so pretty and kind and you never judge… and funny and you stick around and I want you to be with me forever and…." Please just love this boy ;-;

Syo:

You guys were so close and it was almost painful every time you'd do the simplest things together. You could be walking down the hall and your hands accidentally brushed or watch King of Fighting and you just happen to lay your head on his shoulder. God he has been falling for you so bad and he just couldn't bring himself to say so, but when you had the guts and told him that you like him too, he almost had a heart attack. "(Y/N)... This whole time I wanted to tell you that… I cant believe you feel the same" softly embraces you and doesnt let go for a while; hes so happy.

Masato:

Boy he likes to think he can hide his crush pretty well and apparently so except that everyone knows except you two. He is so nervous all the time, so scared of messing up and or you finding him boring and not impressive enough. But every time you sit together and talk about life and every time you're willingly close to him he feels like he does have a chance and then he actually does? Almost spits out his tea when you tell him and you might take it as a negative response so he quickly apologizes and explains that he likes you too "... Y-you have been on o-on my mind and i-in my heart for s-so long and… I can't keep this inside me a-any longer… I like you too, p-please be m-mine..?" So nervous. Almost passes out. Never thought this would happen.

QUARTET NIGHT

Reiji:

Somewhere in his mind he had no doubt about the fact that you like him too, but still he couldn't shake off the feeling of what would happen if you did not see him as that. He's getting old, and he knows, and any relationship that may come his way, he wants that one to be the last because he doesn't have time for games anymore… so when you tell him that you believe he's the one and that you want to be with him for as long as possible he's so shook. "(N/N)-chan… I'm so happy you feel the same way!! I've liked you for so long… be mine?!" Goes in to hug you and somehow almost kisses you which may or may not have been intentional.

Ranmaru:

Doesnt wanna talk about it. Only Reiji knows about his crush and ONLY because Reiji is nosy AF. Thinks he could have a shot but thinks you deserve better. So terrified of rejection no cap. Was gonna take his feelings to the grave, but then you spilled your own feelings out to him one evening over movies and take out and he almost choked on his pasta. You? Like him? Too??? Literally grabs your shoulders "eh??!! You like me??!! I have literally been trying to tell you that for AGES and here you go so easily saying that? Tch… just be mine already, babe." Grumpy emotional. Just lay your head on his chest and watch his blush spread across his cheek plz. It's adorable.

Camus:

He had everything to offer you and more and yet he could just not bring himself to tell you how he feels. His pride wouldnt let him. Let someone have emotional control over him? No thank you he will just bury his feelings and hope they go away but oh here you two go again to another pastries shop and somehow you got him to laugh and here we go again with these butterflies. Is so annoyed with himself that he almost didnt catch you confess to him but of course he heard the three words that really matter "...I like you.." He's silent after that for a few moments, mainly because his heart is beating so fast and his brain is replaying the words, and he's trying to maintain a cool persona. Finally settles on a small chuckle and a smile "I like you too… fool…" fool? Mentally slaps himself but you seem to be taking it well since you're laughing.

Ai:

Ai has such a hard time understanding what's going on inside him and when he does finally understand, he tries to keep it to himself. But every time he sees you and you interact with him, his heart flutters a bit and he soon realized that he cant keep these feelings in forever. He wanted to take you out to one of your favorite restaurants for lunch and then tell you but halfway through the main course, you just kind of told him yourself and it was said so calmly, like you've said it before and he almost wondered if you two were already together? "You like me, too?" Gets such a cute little smile, "I like you, (Y/N), I have for a while.." :')

HEAVENS

Eiichi:

Lolololololol has so much confidence. Of course you'd like him back, hahaha….unless??? Cant manage to tell you in fear of his pride being hurt, but he makes sure to try and show you in small ways? Like buying you lunch, getting you VIP tickets to the concerts, spending time with you, etc… And then one day he's doing exactly that, buying you lunch, because he's memorized your favorite everything, but you tagged along because you wanted to be around him and you just were telling him how appreciative you were of him and everything he does and next thing he knows you're confessing to him and he almost drops the take out box. Shook 103. Almost doesnt know how to answer but his smugness comes back sooner or later "my my my angel… I guess I have to confess that I like you too." Plays it off cool but inside his heart grew by like 65 sizes.

Kira:

He's so quiet and honestly love was the last thing on his mind and then you came along and messed it all up. Suddenly he was talking and all of HEAVENS was shook and realized way sooner than Kira ever could. At some point the feelings started overflowing and he cant deny them anymore and you just happen to sit so close and then you take his hand oh? Those were the words he was dying to hear. "... I like you too…" theres a small blush on his face and you find it so cute.

Nagi:

Haha feelings are stupid. Denies it. No one is gonna get him to confess. Nada. Niente. But the more he hangs out with you the harder it is to deny. He even tried insulting you and you know what didnt work? That! That didn't work! So one day he just stomps up to you and goes , "Listen here,you little---" "i like you, nagi-san!!" Did you just interrupt him? No, wait did you just confess to him???!!" Taken aback. Nagi doesnt work for a second. "Y-you.. Do? Well good thing you feel the same because I was just about to tell you that." Plays it off cool, died on the inside.

Eiji:

Precious little thing doesnt know what to do with himself and these feelings. Is so nervous around you but tries to not overstep any lines. LOVES to hang out with you and play stupid board games with you, so one night when youre over and you guys are playing UNO, he is almost ready to tell you, but then you said it and his soul left his body for a minute. So overcome with happiness he almost cries, "oh (Y/N)... I like you too… I'm so happy you feel the same!"

Van:

Cute. Of course he was gonna fall for someone eventually but this was just SO unexpected. You came into his life and rocked his world in such an unexpected way… suddenly flirting with you doesnt become easy and he is trying so hard to not mess up and ugh here he is trying to explain his feelings to you and wait did you just kiss him and then tell him you feel so deeply for him? Aidjsjqjjasjqoqooosn. SO taken aback. Actually blushes a little? Is this real? Immediately pulls you in and tells you the same, "oh angel! I feel the same way and… can I get another try at that kiss?"

Yamato:

Denies his feelings by taking laps and going rock climbing, basically anything to get his mind off of you and focused on something else. Cant tell you, too scared of rejection. So when you asked to join him on one of his runs he almost freaks out because now he HAS to talk to you or it'll be awkward. Halfway through the run you take a water break and you knew that now was the time. "Yamato, I have a crush on you." He was ready for the next 2 and a half kilometers when his knees almost gave out at hearing you say that. Swears on God his heart stopped beating for a second, "good, because otherwise this would be really awkward" and kisses you? He has no clue how he got that confidence and his face is turning all shades of red right after but at least now you know, right?

Shion:

His whole life he tried to prove to everyone that he was worth it. And then you came along and you saw that he was worth it and you never expected anything of him, and it is such a nice feeling to just be accepted by someone… he couldnt help but fall for you. Shion wanted to be yours so badly, wanted for you to be his so badly, so when those words left your perfect lips, so many stones fell off his shoulders. He visibly relaxed beside you and gently took your hand in his, "i like you too… Thank you, (Y/N)..."

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