#i wake up nd i yearn

[decomposedfairy]

anal creampies🫶🏻

[pintrestgrl]

loved your bsf!jj drabble!!!!! maybe a little drunken love confession from bsf!jj … and reader thinks its lowkey too good to be true bc she’s been yearning forever… but when they both sober up jj is like !!! i meant wtf i said !

hi i wrote this and then it completely disappeared. sigh. also im sorry if this is bad, i was half asleep bc i spent forever writing it the first time.

also i’m sorry for being inactive yesterday i was so so stressed nd had cramps and was dying… but hi !! hope u like this anon 🥹

note: after writing this, i rlly don’t like it. but i pray u guys do 😞

drunk!bsf!jj x pogue!reader.

“here, drink this.”

you spoke, shoving a glass of water into jj’s chest, sitting down next to him on the couch of the chateau.

he was clearly very wasted, and you were only a slight bit tipsy.

you two had both went out to the boneyard together, the rest of the group out doing god knows what.

he rambled on about not wanting to drink it, before giving in and chugging the clear liquid.

“thank god, you’re annoying when you’re drunk.”

“no, ‘m not. you are.”

“at least i’m not sloppy wasted, unlike somebody.”

“whatever. guilty by association.”

he spoke, slurring his words and laughing drunkenly.

“i’m not associated with you, you wish.”

“you’re my bestfriend, of course you are.”

he spoke, rolling his eyes amused at your denying.

you managed to let out a fake chuckle, silently cringing inside as he called you that. were you really only his ‘friend’ to him?

you wished to be so much more, and he had no idea whatsoever.

you were snapped out of your thoughts by his voice, drunkenly rambling again.

“thanks for the water. that was like, kinda sweet.”

“sweet?” you question, laughing as you furrowed your brows.

“yeah. you’re a sweet girl, i swear.”

you opened your mouth to protest, before being interrupted before you got the chance.

“you’re kinda pretty too.”

you froze at his words.

pretty?

that’s the last word you thought jj would use to describe you; at least to your face.

“what?”

“actually, no. you are pretty. very pretty.”

“jj, you’re drunk.”

“yeah, i am. and you’re pretty. probably beautiful if i could think right now.”

“you don’t mean that.”

“no, i do. i definitely do. i don’t know why you don’t have a boyfriend. or why i’m too dumb to ask you out.”

you were completely baffled at this point, trying to find any truth in his words. and to your surprise, he sounded genuine. drunk, but genuine.

you had liked him forever, and this was the most he’d ever showed any reciprocation.

you were always too scared to say anything, afraid of his rejection and what it would do to your friendship.

so, you opted for having some of him, rather then none at all.

“do you even understand a word you’re saying?”

you spoke, desperately needing to know if he was just drunkenly saying bullshit, or revealing the truth of how he felt.

“yeah, i do. you’re a sweet girl who is too pretty to not have a boyfriend. i mean, god. your face is perfect.”

“jj, shut up. stop.”

“no, you shut up. let me talk. i think i like you.”

“i’d hope so, considering i’m your bestfriend.”

“no, no. like actually like you. like seriously.”

you desperately were trying to deny his words, convincing yourself this was a dream and you needed to wake up.

“you think you like me?”

“no, i actually know i do. like a lot.

“jay, you’re joking.”

he scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“can you let me be serious about one thing in my life? i mean, god. i’m not joking. i’m serious. serious about this, about you.”

you could tell he was probably getting agitated the way you kept denying him, the way his mood shifted from amusedly drunk, to pissed off.

“why don’t you sleep the ‘liking me’ off, yeah?”

it took a while, but you convinced him to just go to bed. and as he layed in the next room over, you couldn’t get over his words.

was he trying to get in your pants because he was wasted, or was he serious about liking you?

you knew the thought would keep you up all night if you let it, so you decided to drop it from your brain, drifting off to a light sleep.

next morning

————————————————

you woke up groggily, a slight hangover lingering on your body. once you registered everything, you decided to go to the room next door, consisting of a likely just as hungover jj.

you opened the door, sitting on john b’s his bed, silently shaking him awake.

you knew he’d probably get all mad, but you needed him to help you clear the lingering thought in your head.

he groaned, mumbling a sleepy short sentence.

“what do you need?”

“can we talk?”

“speak or forever hold your peace, stupid.”

you rolled your eyes at his tired insult, reluctantly continuing with your words.

“uh— last night, you told me some stuff. like that you liked me, thought i was pretty and stuff. were you serious?”

he shot up as the words spilled out, immediately sitting against the headboard.

“i told you that?”

“yeah, you did.”

“shit— um, well yeah. kinda. in a way.”

“kinda?”

“no. not kinda.”

he said, rubbing a hand over his face.

he spoke again, sounding embarrassed.

“yes. i did. i meant it. every word. ‘m sorry. i didn’t mean to— jesus, fuck.”

“no, it’s fine, uh— i ‘kinda’ like you too.”

you said, letting the words come out before you thought about their weight.

“kinda? you’re serious?”

“yes, i’m serious. and not kinda, i didn’t mean that. i like you a lot.”

“shut up.”

“i’m serious, i do.”

“well, why the fuck didn’t you tell me?”

“i don’t know. i was nervous.”

a silence filled the room, not awkward. just waiting for someone to figure out the right thing to say.

finally, jj spoke.

“uh— i’m like really hungover.”

you rolled your eyes at the subject change, finding it just like him to do something like that.

“that’s what your gonna say?”

“no, fuck—sorry. can you just sleep in here with me so i can think straight after?”

“you could’ve just said that.”

“well, i just did, didn’t i?”

“i guess. and yeah, i can. scoot over.”

he awkwardly listened to your demand, not used to the feeling of you knowing about his thoughts of you.

you both fell unconscious soon after, unknowingly shiftinging your bodies closer as you slept.

you slept for another hour or two, limbs tangled and intertwined together as your mind tried to decipher if this was a dream, or if your head was really resting on your bestfriends chest.

[airbendertendou]

19 with Tsukasa

drop it like hot, hot, hot (insert seventeen hot)

19 AND 91 were taken so i cheated a lil 😈

a yearning nd steamy number 82 + tsukasa

“‘CAUSE YOU’RE MY FAVORITE.”

the sun's rays filter through the closed blinds, coloring everything it touches a golden, pinkish sheen. he should look away - tsukasa knows how creepy he seems right now, staring your way mindlessly. but, he can't help himself. can't help the stupid, sappy smile that falls onto his lips.

you snort in your sleep, the sound vibrating against the desk you lay on. tsukasa grins at the noise - it wouldn't matter what you did, he'd find it endearing regardless. the blond tilts his head as you turn, facing him now.

your left cheek is smushed to your arms, cushioning your head from the aged and hard desk. the sun barely lights up the room, signaling it will be night time soon. he should wake you up - should help you preapre your things to go home.

tsukasa just gazes instead.

when your eyes flutter, he looks away abruptly. you let out a groan as you stretch, sleepily blinking as you take in how dark it's become. you frown his way, "why didn't you wake me? it's time to go home."

"didn't even notice." tsukasa looks away from the random book he grabbed, acting shocked at the lack of sunlight. he forces his lips down, feigning a frown, "guess it is pretty late."

you look at him for a bit before shrugging. "can't be helped, i guess. i'm gonna head home."

"guess i will, too," tsukasa sighs. he shuts the book softly, not caring where it landed when he drops it. as you gather your things, he tucks his hands into his pockets. "i'll walk you home, then. i'm headed that way, anyways."

you smile up at him and his breath catches. "that's kind of you, thanks."

tsukasa shrugs it off as his heart pounds in his chest. it's out of his way - your home - but he'd rather make sure you got ome safely than wonder all night. the extra steps wouldn't be bad for him, either. anything to make sure you were okay.

——♡—— the longing..... the yearning....... dreamy sigh

request your own here ♡ read more

[squalodinoappreciationsquad]

hello! This is my first time requesting a drabble from a prompt hopefully I'm doing this right-

Coming from the Flower Prompts post, may I ask for Arbutus for Squalo and Dino? I really like your writings for those two qwq 🩵

Thank you in advance!!

Hi hello this is actually perfect! Don't worry, feel free to send more! And thank you so much for the compliments, I absolutely adore your drawings 💕

Now, you gave me a DELICIOUS prompt, I hope you are going to enjoy this snippet!

Arbutus - a realization that you are my one and only  

Squalo and Dino meet each other again after the battle for the Vongola rings has ended, after all dust has settled and this time it is awkward. Some would say even painful to watch and indeed it does not go unnoticed by everyone around them.

Both the men had entartained the thought of them being together for the longest of time, they had yearned and pined even, in their teen years.

And then the huge presence of Xanxus had been the sort of bitter ending they both had, or so they had thought.

There had to be a battle.

There had to be blood.

There had to be opposite sides.

And then they finally understood.

When Dino finally realized, it was at the end of the Rain battle - he had expected to save Yamamoto from the inevitable death by being mauled by a shark and instead he had seen Squalo.

And in front of what had been his friend - and probably something more - unconscious and bloody, Dino could not help himself.

He felt dizzy, he felt all blood suddenly go away nd most of all he did not register how he had immediately crouched next to Squalo's body, trying to call him, to keep him awake.

And that was exactly when he realized it.

Oh no, he thought, oh no.

He absolutely knew it as he was dragged away by Romario, as Iemitsu was making his way.

And he found himself doing something he'd never thought he'd do. He begged for Squalo's life, no, the Varia's lives to be spared, inventing on the spot any possible excuse as to why the Vongola should not execute the Varia.

Sure, he is now indebted to the Vongola, but it was worth it, he thinks.

When Squalo opened his eyes again, in that hospital bed, the first one he saw was Dino.

None of the Varia were there, especially not Xanxus was there and yet.

The one walking next to him had never been Xanxus so far and Squalo had been so wrong the entire time, because there was someone waiting for him to wake up and it was Dino.

Somehow.

The uncomfortable feelings he had been struggling with finally agreed. Squalo looked intently at those sad brown eyes, memorized his faint smile as Dino told him that he had finally woken up.

And there and then Squalo realized that it had never been Xanxus the one he was looking for, the one he would lay his life for. and there and then he thought, oh fuck, oh no.

When Squalo managed to speak, his voice trembled lightly "Why... Why did you save me?"

And Dino's voice trembled too, hesitated even. "Because that would have been inconvenient if you died."

And they both knew that this was just a pathetic excuse, and they knew they were and always had been each other's person.

And now that the dust has settled, and they are both still alive, it is awkward and embarrassing and everyone is eyeing them trying to be polite but also curious to know what exactly has changed.

And neither one tries to make a step because - oh well, thwy should be past being two awkward teens vaguely in love.

They dance around each other and sit in the same room politely six feet apart like two Victorian lovers pulled out of a Jane Austen book and Tsuna and his guardians are too young to understand fully, and the Varia don't really have the emotional ability to just give the right nudge.

Luckily or not, however, Reborn has a plan.

Dino is after all a student of his and by proxy he has known Squalo for long enough.

It is going to be a fun time for everyone, especially for Squalo and Dino, Reborn thinks.

[m--rtyr]

hellooooo oml i am like drinking so i might ot be the most sensical rn but hello. helloo

i commissioned you ocne and idk how many comms you get so this might be sooo obvious who i am but !!!! your art is so lovely. its so beautifl. i look at it and i see a painting. i see a visison. i look at the piece you made for me and feel like i robbed you with the costs for how it has shifted and tken a new place in my heart. i look at it so fondly bc how can you make something so beautiful ??? oml the skill and dedication you have put into honing your craft astounds me. it takes my breath away. sometimes i feel jealous for not knowing you bc i wish i could peel back your skin and peer into your brain and learn what churns in your head and how you generate your ideas and just. how much effort goes into making such beautiful things

oml and your writing HHAH. i went into the new lycorris radiata fic prologue recently (i can[t believe you deleted the original chap one i lovoveeed that thing king) (it took me like five attempts to speel king right) and i love the changes. i was writing a review in my notes app about it and i was painstaking lygoing through it all and i think i was liikkek??? 600 words in /?? and my phone had the audacity to nottt translates my notes over when i changed phones as if i haven't been working on my review for a week. fml.

but it is so beaitufl. you write like a fairytale. this issooo embarrassig and i'm gonna wake up tomorrow so embarrassed for sending this and feeling so parascial lmao but your art is truly beautiful. its like a microcosm of everything that makes you you even if i dont know you adn tyu build this tneous connection between the reader and the author and the stry and it leaves me in awe. you wrrite like a fairytale. the description is beautiful the characterisation is awe-inspiring and it creates a little place in my ribs where i think back on it and go wow. ths is the kind of story i will think back on for years to come.

SORRY I AM thteee sappiest drunk everr. we've arely talked this is sooo embarrassing but idk. yiour arrt is so gorgeous and i hope you know that. hope you wake up ever morning and you know you've put something so beautifyl out into the world and there is something who dearly anticipates every next word and who thinks your art is beautiful and your writing has changed somethingi nme. i love avra. i love vyla.d i love every word i've read and i wish i could share that oherently in my original review that i lsot but alas.

i'm so sorry LMAMO this will probably bee sooo weird for you to recieve frma strangero ntumbulr. i so need to sober up but its just so breathtaking. your brain is breath taking. i cannot wait for the day you next update or share art or do anything creative bc your wriitng is beautiful your art is beautiful and i smm sooso grateful you shared it with the world. is so beautiful i cannot help but believe you yourslef must be beautiful bc who else could create the kind of art you do

ok im done now im not reading thiisi ober nd i have no idea how long it actually is LMAOA i wish you the best strangerr. you are the kind of person someone would yearn to know (sorry i probs sound sooo parasocial haaha0 and i hope you are soo well

I’m screaming and crying and throwing up and I’m tearing off my clothes so I can run into the woods and howl at the moon and turn into a canine beast

This is

Everything to me, drunk anon, you are everything to me. I will one day get a printer so I can print this ask out, and I will post a YouTube video of me eating the entire thing, with no cuts, and no audio. Full on mukbang. Because I need this to be a part of my soul. And people will argue that consuming something does not integrate it into you forever but I would rather this be a part of me for only a short while than never at all

This has me feral and insane, you’re so sweet about me and you write in such a poetic prose I need you to write some kind of fiction now.

For this alone I will draw you a thousand pieces of art, using my own blood sweat and tears as my materials if I must. You are everything, Anon.

I wish that review still existed simply so I could read more of your words because if this is you drunk then I cannot imagine how you talk sober.

[kamikozen]

hey sis, ima pisces if that means anything? lol I hope all is well, nd that you wake up feeling blessed. wanted to know if you could share anything about rebirthing nd repairing past relationships. there’s this person I genuinely miss in my life. i know you can care for someone nd not have their physical presence. however, life is precious and short. all is well in divine time nd spirit neva lies-this I know. nd im patient. getting older….but patient. juss was curious on how you maintain, balance nd create new + beautiful relationships, even if there’s a burned bridge between the two of you. have you ever reached out to someone? feel like it takes a lot of courage and softness. nd i been sittin on the words. nd who knows, may just keep sittin.

Hey love! Much love to you! I think that it depends on why exactly they’re not in your life anymore.

I’m speaking specifically from my life experience, but anyone I’ve ever let back in, after releasing them on not so good terms, they didn’t stay and if they did it wasn’t healthy.

There are reasons why people are no longer in each others lives. If you feel like you need to say what is on your heart, write a letter on paper and release it somewhere other than to them. If it still nags at you, send them the same letter but without any expectation.

It’s honestly all on you and what you feel is best. But I will say, sometimes we miss the romanticization of what we had with others, but there almost always is a lesson within that yearning on how to love ourselves better.

I hope you are able to make a choice with ease and love for yourself.

You can also always pm me! 🫶🏾

[donttouchtheneednoggle]

in the mood to cuddle a guinea pig

[stayinurlaneboi]

Fic Recs

Pics Text Masterlists Gifs Videos Audio CGs

last updated: April 14, 2022

ＡＦＴＥＲＬ！ＦＥ

Sian

with an s/o that wants to hold hands alot

Nine/Sian

affectionate s/o hc

Sian/Quincy

relationship hc

ＶＡＮＩＴＡＳ ＮＯ ＣＡＲＴＥ

Vanitas

ＴＷＩＳＴＥＤ ＷＯＮＤＥＲＬＡＮＤ

Grim

accidentally turned into a human

babying the little gremlin

Heartslabyul

affection hcs

Riddle

cuddles at night

making his s/o blush like crazy

lovestruck

budding love

Deuce

conspiracies and love confessions

Ace

grumpy babie

Savannaclaw

petting dorm

Leona

absence makes the heart grow fonder

strawberry and honey

jealous an clingy bc his herbivore was hanging out with rook

huddling for warmth

“its nice that your voice was the first thing i heard today”

hoodie thief

Azul

aquarium

with a crush that can see right through him

asking what his crush likes in a partner

confessing his love when hes half asleep

how to win his heart

morning kisses

love contract

mornings with him

touch starved s/o

s/o in a maid outfit

Scarabia

falling asleep in his arms

Jamil

having a nightmare about hurting his s/o post blot

postblot!jamil is v blatant with his affection

where kalim and reader switch bodies

Vil

potatoes cant get sick

vil asks mc out for a date but they were body switched with epel

Idia

meeting his parents during break

“dont give me that puppy dog face, how am i supposed to say no to that?”

finding s/o asleep with his sweatshirt on

a little bit of love

pink or unprotected h*nd h*lding

playfights

main character type shit

domestic hcs

goes on a date with robo idia

attention

something comforting

caring for a sick s/o

fell asleep before a date

sharing his new invention

trouble confessing

west of paradise

braids

Diasomnia

unwanted attention

Malleus

dragon form hcs

relationship hc

fluff hcs

child!mal gets real clingy to mc

child!mal fluff

where a big scary dragon invades readers pillow cave

accidentally kissing him

“would a kiss wake you up?”

yuu’s impact on his life

simping for each other infront of other people

“please dont go yet”

babie boy

sims 3

traditional dragon courting vs human beloved

serenading

true loves kiss

princess in the tower

maybe its instinct

NRC VS RSA

s/o’s getting a little too much attention from their counterparts

both schools fighting over a neutral mc

nrc boys working together to crush rsa 

idia makes a phone companion when prefect leaves for rsa

local sweetheart mc

nurse mc

joint cultural ball

neige meets nrc’s only female student and believes its fate

RSA bound

↳ heartslabyul

↳ savannahclaw

Best Boys

“you love me right?”

“baby boy”

s/o has a random urge to shower them in affection an praise

s/o skipped classes and was found crying in her room

s/o steals their clothes 

relationship hcs

true loves kiss

playing with their hair

mc coded reader

cuddling hcs

clingy shenanigans

touchy feely with only grimm

cuddling in their beast forms

overblot boys reacting to killing their s/o in an overblot

hugs from behind

v oblivious crush

yuu chopped off most of their hair

tsundere crush

cute fem!crush

snowed in at ramshackle

“i wanna marry you someday”

reader with a sensitive neck

hella touch starved s/o

super physically affectionate s/o

crush hcs

caught checking out mc ver2

sprained ankle bridal carry

comfort cuddles

comparing hand sizes

stealing their jackets

gifting their s/o with a big ol beauty and the beast type library

meeting the royal family

sharing a scarf

“i’d kiss you if you’d let him”

yearning - how will they cope when they miss their partner

having him as his lockscreen

“youre gonna be my date to the ball”

catching reader before she falls down

turned into kids

s/o is having a bad mental breakdown and comforting them

s/o wears their clothes

s/o somehow can still access their magicam acc

short mc wears their hoodie

mc with chubby cheeks

reader turned into a cat

lovers reassurance

may i kiss you?

playing in snow

having a crush on oblivious reader

finding their s/o in the rain

making bentos for them

playing with their hair

small s/o likes to be held

s/o who hasnt had a relationship before

“just one more kiss”

domestic dreams

jealous boyfriends

s/o recieving many confessions on v-day

slow dancing

trying to court you

s/o wears a dress for the first time

mirror mirror on the wall

favourite places to kiss

indulgent

First Year Crew

tiny mc with a physical touch love language

“thats my baby!”

platonic brainrots

boys take you out for a break (comfort)

goodbye forehead kisses

holding hands for the first time

with an mc whose love language is touch 

checking out their crush

Dorm Wardens

*check tags

s/o suddenly disappears 

s/o likes to cuddle in their sleep

trying to woo the only girl at nrc

girlfriend gets hit on frequently an loves to sing an dance

reactions to their crush wearing their dorms uniform

crush falls asleep on him

good night kisses

falling asleep in their lap

fluff hcs

dating hcs

s/o is much smaller than them

sudden hugs from behind

noticing that their crush checking them out

playing the pocky game

s/o oberblotting due to their negative emotions 

proposal hcs

sleeping with them

crush got hit with a spell that makes them hold hands

neck kisses

s/o almost gets kidnapped by someone

taking care of a sick s/o

rainy days

to feel loved

summer heat and too much skin

maid dresses

holding their faces

reactions to canon ramshackle

greeting kisses

tackle hugs

sleeping in the same bed as him

kisses

finding out they all like the same person

exhausted s/o asking them to lay on them*

chance to leave

valentine jealousy

unexpected cheek kisses

“i love you” for the first time

couple photos

super strong but harmless by nature s/o

poly!leaders with an s/o who’s love language is physical touch

poly!leaders with an injured reader

poly!leader who stole their uniforms and tried on

quiet and physically affectionate s/o

Series

when they’re in love & courting  1 2

fluff hcs 1 2

“are we about to kiss rn?” 1 2

“reasons why my bf is attractive” presentation 1 2

taking care of him while sick 1 2

running away from stress 1 2

finding their s/o’s lockscreen is them 1 2 3 4

falling in love 1 2 3 4 

dorm leaders in love vil

cold snap deuce malleus riddle

casual affections azul/idia leona/jamil vil

eyes on me diasomnia heartslabyul

Misc.

hot shit they do (includes obey me!)

reactions to fem!mc 

wake up (go back to sleep)

reporter!yuu overzealous hero defeated a villian w/ serious consequences

a little bit of love or comforts found in friendship

dear future husband

chapter 7 theory

yuu is mickeys counterpart

mc has oneiromancy

yuu is a catalyst for change

theres no way that nrc is filled with only pretty boys

technically mc is a delinquent and a gang

poly!azul and idia

crowly better be paying child support for this

obey me!mc gets pulled into twst

fem!mc using the oversized uniforms as a shield

fem!yuu in a school full of boys being harassed 

boys getting whaat they deserve

[jerkbitchidjitassbutt]

It Was You (Part Four)

A/N: Jensen and Y/n are childhood best friends. When his agent informs him that his image could use some improvement for a role, will she help him? Or will her feelings get in the way?

Read Part one, part two, and part three here (masterlist forthcoming)

A holiday (Christmas centric) Jensen x Female!Reader Best Friends to Lovers series for @spnchristmasbingo​​. This chapter and others will fill the square of ‘fake dating’. Un-beta’d, so all mistakes are mine. Header created by me with images from Google. Chapter word count: 3446

Series Warnings: cursing, angst-ish at times (if you squint), but mostly all the fluff.

I consider this an AU, as Jensen is single in this fic. This is completely a work of fiction, and I wouldn’t want his reality to be any different, this is purely for entertainment.

Jensen woke to his cell buzzing on his nightstand, reaching blindly to silence the pestering noise. Lying on his back, he quickly peered through one half opened eye to see what all the fuss was about. Seeing it was Stacy, he hit the side button to reject her call, vowing he’d return it after ten more minutes of sleep. As he rested his head back on the pillow, you stretched slightly and rolled to face him as you slept, reminding him of how he’d carried you to his bed last night. You reached for him and pulled yourself under his arm to cuddle against him, throwing a leg over his as he laid on his back. He loved waking up next to you, no matter where it was. You’d shared a bed multiple times in your long friendship and he’d never felt as rested as when you were next to him, even if the vacancy was filled by someone else.

Jensen let his mind wander to what it would be like to wake up to you every morning, to take your friendship and turn it into something more. He would be lying if he said Y/n hadn’t been the first person that came to his mind when Stacy mentioned him settling down, and almost choked on his coffee when she agreed to be his pretend girlfriend. When he was young, he’d always just seen you as his best friend, but when he left for L.A. after his eighteenth birthday, the absence made him realize how much he’d loved you for so many years. It was a fondness that grew out of the shared intimacy and a longing bloomed within him, and it was no secret to him why it hadn’t worked out with anyone else. They weren’t you – they didn’t laugh like you. They didn’t touch him like you. They didn’t care for him in the way you did.

Since you’d moved to Vancouver, each time he’d get the nerve to bring his feelings up to you, you’d either be seeing someone or mention once again how much you valued his friendship. There were moments when he thought you may feel something for him to, between the lingering touches and occasional yearning gaze. When the time came, though, he’d always let his fears of losing you get in the way.

As you moved against him, trying to get closer to him in your dreaming slumber, his grip tightened around you to bring you to the spot no one else could seem to fill. You threw an arm around his waist and nuzzled into the crook of his neck, your warmth seeping through him as your breath fanned across the tender skin. Jensen buried his face in your hair, inhaling a mixture of you and the floral scent of your shampoo, content to savor the moment where he could pretend that it was real, that maybe you wouldn’t scurry away when you woke to find yourself there.

You began to stir, breathing deeply and opening your eyes. You pushed against him slightly, just enough to peer up at him through your lashes.

“Morning, sweetheart.” Jensen whispered, searching your eyes for a long moment. He could have sworn he saw it, that fleeting passion that he could have sworn was intended for him. His eyes flitted to your lips, plush and full and slightly agape. It would be a dream to mold his mouth to yours and feel you let go. Your skin would feel like silk beneath his fingertips and he would savor every touch.

You seemed to study him, almost searching your brain for some sort of recognition.

You were in a blissful fantasy before you woke, wrapped in Jensen’s arms as he pinned you beneath him, nipping and licking at the exposed skin of your neck. In your hazed mind, you could still feel his delicious weight on top of you as he ground against you, and the burn of his scruff still tingled across your chest as he kissed down your body. His touch still ghosted across your skin but left no trace as your eyes opened slowly to be met with his emerald ones. It took your foggy, drowsy mind a moment to realize that you were no longer dreaming, but the fire in your core was still lit ablaze.

His eyes were filled with fondness as he looked down at you. Finding yourself in his arms as you woke still felt like a dream as your heartbeat rapidly sounded in your chest, until he began drawing patterns on your upper arm with his thumb. Your head rested against the swell of his shoulder and you could feel his stomach rising and falling with breath beneath your arm. He shifted a bit and you realized that your leg was tangled with his as your hips and body angled towards him.

“Y/n? You okay?” Jensen breathed, flitting his eyes between your eyes and lips as you stared at him, still playing catchup in your brain. He sucked in a breath when you pulled your bottom lip between your teeth, still silently searching his features. He could do it – he could kiss you. He could feel every curve in his hands and feel every breath if he took the chance, and the way you were looking at him, eyes darkened with want, he began to lean forward, slowly and tentatively.

Jensen’s tongue ran across his plump lips and continued to trace small circles on your exposed skin before moving his hand to your hair. This wasn’t for show, and the weight of the intimacy bared down on you as he moved towards you, aiming for your lips.

As soon as your eyes fluttered closed, Jensen’s phone began to ring. His eyes snapped open with annoyance as he stared into yours. He didn’t want to pick up – whoever it was could go to hell right now, but when you smiled and told him to, he sighed heavily and grabbed his cell, seeing that it was Stacy once again.

She could usually take a hint, so this must’ve been important. Jensen gave you a sympathetic smile and pressed the button to answer.

“Hello?”

“Jensen? Good morning, it’s Stacy.”

“Yeah, how are you?”

“I’m great. Have you gotten the chance to check social media this morning? There’s some great stuff floating around about you and Y/n already. Apparently some paps got some photos of you two in town yesterday so gossip is buzzing.”

“Oh, that’s… good?”

“It sure is!” Stacy exclaimed, which you could hear from your spot, still tucked beneath Jensen’s shoulder as his grip on you never loosened. “Great job, you two. This is going well already. Keep up the social media stuff, but I wanted to warn you before you guys headed to the airport that there would probably some cameras around.”

Jensen’s eyes went wide, “The airport… right.”

“Yeah, I wanted to catch you before you got in. Are you about to leave? Your flight is in 3 hours.”

He snapped his head to face you as you realized what that meant, looking at him with a panicked expression. You needed to get your ass up and go.

“We’re about to leave soon. Cliff should be here in, uh,” Fuck, it’s 9:00. “20 minutes to get us.” He said, more to you than Stacy as he grabbed his watch from his nightstand when you rolled off of him.

“Alright, well you guys have a safe trip. I’ll be in touch soon!” her chipper voice echoed through his receiver before it clicked and ended the call. You were dashing around the room, gathering your sweater, shoes, keys, and phone before you had to run to your apartment to change and grab your packed suitcase, allowing Jensen to do the same. As you made your way to the door, Jensen called to you, still in his pajama pants and tight v-neck with his hair was gloriously tousled.

“We’ll continue this later?” He proposed, his voice deep and smooth.

You paused in the doorframe to respond, arms laden with your belongings. You pulled your bottom lip between your teeth and grinned, “I’d like that.”

He sighed a breath of relief through his smile before rushing to the adjacent bathroom to take a quick shower.

It was December 22nd, and the airport was going to be insanely packed, but between Jensen’s security needs and first-class tickets for the two of you to Austin, you were able to get priority registration and pre-checks.

You hurried quickly to your apartment, pausing momentarily when you shut your door to run your fingertips through your hair and calm your swirling thoughts. There was no question that he was going to kiss you, at least from your perspective. Could this really be happening? With a smile and a pounding heart, you ran to your bathroom to brush your teeth, freshen up, and change, opting for black leggings and a thick shawl. You threw some last-minute items in your makeup bag and slung it over your waiting suitcase, grabbing your scarf, sunglasses, and purse and you were ready to meet Jensen outside.

Cliff and Jensen met you at the waiting SUV and loaded your luggage into the trunk, Jensen sliding in beside you in the back seat. It was a short ride to the airport and was mostly spent with Cliff briefing Jensen of the security protocols he would be taking once you arrived. He was already prepared for the possibility of paparazzi being present and would be sure you had a clear path to the entrance.

With about five minutes until you arrived, Jensen leaned in to whisper, “Would you be alright with holding my hand? You know, when we go in? F-for the cameras?” he asked, his eyes hopeful and nervous.

Your smile faltered as he said the last bit, worried that maybe the arrangement was still at the forefront of his mind. Until he added, “Or, if you just wanted to.”

His features softened as the smile returned to your face and you agreed. “I mean, ya know… I’d be alright with it.” He said in a teasing fashion, puffing his chest as you giggled. Sliding his hand across the leather seat, he brushed his fingers across yours before entwining a few. Your cheeks began to tingle and your heart swelled within your chest, a feeling present that you’d never experienced before.

Jensen couldn’t get the image of you from this morning out of his head. Each time he closed his eyes, he saw you beneath him, biting your lower lip. It was driving him mad and he was more than sure you were going to kiss him back. Now, though, he was kicking himself for answering that phone call. He was kicking himself for not pulling you into his arms as soon as he hung up.

A short moment later and you were pulling up at the entrance, not entirely surprised to see a few people lingering around the pillars with cameras in their hands. It was a popular spot for folks in their profession, hoping to snap a few shots of celebrities boarding their flights and since the movie and television studios had just recently shut down production for the holidays, their odds increased of getting a good photo to sell.

“You ready?” Jensen asked, squeezing your hand as you stared out towards the building.

Taking a deep breath, you nodded, “Yeah.”

“Hey,” he urged, placing a hand on your shoulder. “Don’t worry, alright? Cliff and I will be right here.”

You gave him a small smile, but deep down it wasn’t only safety you were concerned about. You knew that once photos surfaced of you and Jensen, the rumors would spread fast. Now, though, there would be some truth to them, or so it seemed.

Cliff exited the car and grabbed both yours and Jensen’s suitcase from the trunk before opening the passenger’s side rear door, allowing Jensen to step out. As soon as he did, loud clicks and a whirl of footsteps could be heard, with people surrounding the vehicle quickly. Cliff stood like an intimidating brick wall and bellowed at them, which made a few of them move back a few steps.

When Jensen turned and offered his hand, you put your sunglasses on and grabbed your bag, hearing the furry of camera shutters increase rapidly. Clearly, they were very interested in who Jensen was bringing with him.

You slid across the seat and took his extended hand in yours. When he helped you shuffle out of the vehicle, he laced a few of his fingers loosely with yours once again and made his way through the crowd of shouts and flashing lights, each of you pulling your suitcases as Cliff led the way. One reporter asked Jensen who his guest was, which made you laugh a bit. Another asked where you were headed, but those were the only few that you could make out in the chorus of questions. He waved graciously as he pushed passed them, continuously checking beside him to make sure you were alright. Jensen’s hand tightened around yours and he looked at you through his darkened glasses, giving you a grin. When you returned his smile, you realized that it may be for show, but he never dropped your hand even after the cameras were behind you.

Cliff said his goodbyes when he ensured that you made it safely to the TSA pre-check. He would be heading home soon also, but his flight was a red eye that night so he would have time to pack himself. He gave you a fleeting, knowing look as his eyes casted down to yours and Jensen’s entwined hands, the tiniest smile adorning his lips.

After going through the security check, you and Jensen explored the shops at the airport and grabbed a coffee before taking a seat at your gate with fifteen minutes to spare before they began boarding. A few fans approached him and asked for an autograph or photo and he was polite and chatted with each of them as you smiled from the sidelines. He was always so gracious with the people he met, and it made you a bit proud. It was just another way that he’d proven to stay true to who he was even now that he was recognized almost everywhere he went. It had taken a bit of getting used to when it began and now his fans were calling you by name. When he and Jared were together, there was no stopping the barrage of passersby.

The few people gave you a wave as you sat next to him and you offered to take their photo for them before they ran to their own flights that were departing soon.

Jensen beamed as he waved them goodbye before turning to you, “You know, I’m not sure I’ll ever get over that.”

Laughing, you commented, “Well, I can’t blame them. They get excited seeing you in the ‘wild’.” You joked.

He sat back and stifled a yawn before taking a sip of his coffee, “You okay? Are you tired?” you questioned.

“Oh, yeah. I’m good. I’ll be fine once we get on the plane.”

“Yeah, I know. You’ll be asleep before we reach the end of the tarmac.”

You were jealous of his ability to sleep on planes, but since he began traveling so much he learned to get some shut eye where he could and now the whirl of the jet engines was a lullaby to him, almost putting him to sleep instantly.

“Well, if you snuggle with me, I’ll be a goner, for sure.”

He gave you a suggestive look and wiggled his eyebrows. Before you could respond, the attendant began to call rows for boarding, meaning you and Jensen were some of the first needed to get in line.

He stowed both of your bags in the compartments when you found your seats, opting to give you the window and asking for an extra pillow or two from the attendant. When you sat, Jensen leaned in to whisper in your ear, “Two o’clock.”

You turned to view what he was talking about, knowing that he was signaling you to look in a specific direction. Sure enough, in the row directly behind you to the left, there was someone with a phone pointed in your direction, seemingly hoping to get a photo of Jensen. This meant the two of you couldn’t necessarily talk freely during the flight, especially about what happened that morning, as many people were in earshot.

Giving you a small smile, he reached for your hand after he’d buckled in, clasping it in his as the plane roared down the freeway and took off towards Austin.

Sure enough, Jensen fell asleep against your shoulder about a half an hour into the flight, so you quietly ordered a drink and a snack and caught up on some Netflix on your phone, gently plugging your headphones in your ears so that you wouldn’t wake him.

You were lucky to have a direct flight into Austin, and Jensen woke up about an hour before you landed. You laughed and chatted about random things, just passing the time until the wheels touched down. He held your hand once again as you exited the airport, his fingers searching out yours expectantly and gripping them tight. He began to scan the crowd for Jared, who smiled widely and waved frantically when he caught sight of you as he towered above everyone else in his surroundings.

As he drove you through the streets of Austin to his home, he caught you up on the details of the party tonight, “Gen decided she wanted to do an ugly Christmas sweater themed party, so she grabbed you both one to wear. Don’t blame me, she and the boys picked them out.”

“Oh goodness…” you commented. “I hope Gen looked out for me a little.”

Jared threw his head back in laughter as Jensen looked at you from the passenger’s seat, turning his head to shoot you a look of yeah right as you sat in the back.

You were met with hugs from the Gen and the littlest Padaleckis as soon as the car pulled in the driveway and Tom whisked you away to show you the drawings he’d made for you and Uncle Jensen.

“Hi to you too!” Jensen shouted as they ran inside, pulling you by your hands to follow as you turned to stick your tongue out at him. They loved him, truly, but he was all but forgotten when you were there with him. He waved you off and rounded the car to grab your bags, Jared popping the trunk and helping.

Jared clicked his tongue and pressed, “So… Things are… different?”

“What do you mean, man?” Jensen retorted, feigning innocence.

“You and Y/n. There’s something there that wasn’t there before.”

Jensen sighed, but couldn’t help the smile that bloomed against his cheeks as he ran his hand along the scruff of his jaw.

“Or,” Jared interjected. “Or maybe it’s something that’s always been there?”

Jensen looked at his best friend with a bit of worry in his eyes, feeling as though he’d just been caught. Jared had always known how much you cared about each other and had his suspicions that you each had more feelings than you were letting on, but Jensen had never confessed it to him in all the years he’d known him. It was the one thing they didn’t share, partially because Jensen knew he’d never hear the end of it and Jared would try some sort of scheme to get them together. If it happened, he wanted it to happen organically, not because of the meddling of his 6’4 goofy-puppy co-star. The truth was, though, Jensen was still afraid of ruining your friendship. He never wanted to lose you, ever.

Jared noticed the energy his friend was giving off and tried to offer him a bit of solace, “Hey, man. Not to worry. You two have always been together, just not together. This may have started as an arrangement, but maybe it’s just the open door you both need to explore your feelings? Maybe this is the way you two stop dancing around each other. Maybe this is the push you needed.” He clasped his hand on Jensen’s shoulder and gave him a reassuring smile, his lips curling on one side before he shut the door to the garage.

Jensen thought about his friend’s words, a new sense of courage blossoming within him and making his heart stammer and swell.

“Yeah, maybe.”

To be continued...

…………………………………………………………………………………………

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Jensen Only

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[concierge-bell]

i’m just gonna. dump my rymin fic ideas here that i’ve started writing but haven’t finished because i have 0 motivation

FIRST ONE:

coming out. so like. min-gi is panicking and suddenly blurts out “i think i might be gay” and ryan’s like “oh. ok”

min’s just “oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck” while ryan tries to comfort him because the INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA IS STRONG. eventually min is calming down and ryan says “yeah uh. i’m bi so like. it’s fine dude” and they talk about it. asking stuff like “how long have you known” and all that jazz. eventually min sighs and keeps asking “but are you sure you’re ok with me??” and you know the drill if you’ve ever read a rymin angst fic. hurt/comfort at its finest

SECOND:

ok this one is just really self indulgent because i love love love nd ryan and every time he stims i cry /pos

min-gi reflecting on ryan’s stims. how he always moves his hands, how he jumps up and down, how he acts when he gets super excited. then him thinking about how passionate ryan gets when talking about music and guitar, how he can talk for hours about it and never get bored. min just sits there in awe as he rambles on and on, until they get tired and fall asleep.

but min also thinks about how sometimes ryan just gets too overwhelmed with stuff (i saw an amazing thread on twitter about ryan during the last few episodes of b4 and i cant stop thinking about it skfghh). sometimes he gets unusually quiet and at one point he will crack and break down. min gets worried for him. it isn’t often this happens, but it does happen every once and a while. especially when they were younger, with school being kinda hard for ryan (and this is where i start projecting uh oh). it isn’t that he gets horrible grades, it’s just. hard. he yearns to get out of the classroom and sometimes tries to skip school. the only times he didn’t feel miserable were when he was with min n stuff

THIRD:

ok ok this one is such a drastic change from the last kinda angsty one. uh it’s just min-gi waking up and ryan is directly on top of him and he just kinda. lies there. honestly kinda uncomfortable but ryan is sound asleep and he doesn’t want to wake him. i think they’re in that phase where they aren’t dating,,but they’re definitely dating, yknow?

AND FINALLY*:

haha back to the angst. yknow how i was saying ryan had a tough time in school? WELL. this idea is just a huge vent honestly. i’ve already written something a lot like this for a different comfort character, but guess who went through a ’holy shit i hate school so much i am in pain’ phase again?? so of course i had to project on ryan.

this takes place the week between the battle of the bands and graduation. there’s one last test, and ryan isn’t able to focus on studying. his thoughts keep drifting to min. maybe he could call him? oh, wait. yeah, nvm. he’s just sad. and very confused. min would always help ryan in their classes, but within 24 hours, everything has changed. and it’s painful.

idk where this would fit in the story, but i also imagine that after min-gi bailing on the battle of the bands, ryan goes through one of these break downs. he just can’t handle all those emotions.

*edit: I wrote this one!!! it's on ao3 now!

ok those are all my ideas. like i’ve said, i’ve started writing them, but damn. i have no motivation to finish anything. if you wanna use these ideas, be my guest!

also!! i’m so sorry if none of this makes sense. i’m just rambling and info dumping, and i have a hard time organizing my thoughts. lmk if you want more info skdfgh

[starillion]

part 2. previous

word count : 925

characters : maitimo / maedhros, sauron / mairon, implied findekáno / fingon.

summary : hanging from the cliff of thangorodrim, maitimo recollects his former self.

may contain graphic descriptions of violence/torture

"...itimo......aitimo........maitimo..MAITIMO!" he wakes up. Almost instantly the pain starts. His right wrist is the worst. The hellish steel throbs against his bone, blood unceasingly seeping out from the exposed veins. He wonders how there is even blood still left inside of him. He wonders how much more would it take for him to run out.

Beyond the black chains lies a decayed meat, once his hand and fingers. It doesn't hurt. Should it, though? He knows not. It has been long since the bonds at his wrist devoured him, but at the same time allowing him to forget all the other - lesser - pains.

"Maitimo!" is he hearing things? The torments did that often. Strange.

He tries to sleep. The only time when he could forget all his pain, which made even falling asleep difficult, but sometimes in unbearable fatigue the bliss would revisit him.

It has been days since Mairon left him chained on this cliff. After the tortures he was hung here like routine. Usually he would be unchained after a precious sleep - that kept him just alive. But it was different this time. Nobody came for him when the time he dreaded for came. And the next day he saw light from afar. A blinding white ray that burned his fragile skin. He inched away at first, but the warm comfort it gave lured him towards the light as days came to pass.

"Nelyo......elyo..........I'm here!" his eyes open again. That was the same voice as before. Somehow too familiar. Could he have known that voice? Before the tortures? Before the chains? He can't remember. But if it was someone he knew, he wanted to shout out if he could. 'Don't come any closer.. Don't let them hear. They'll torture and kill you..!'

"It's Finno!....no........o", Finno, is that a name he knew?

Findekáno.

He frowns. How does he know that? Findekáno, Findekáno, Findekáno. The name rings from his heart, echoing through his head. "Findekáno" he moves his lips. "F....ind- "his tongue slurs painfully from the countless times he tried to chew it off. How long he hasn't used his voice he doesn't know. "Find- ka..no," he still pronounces. It feels good, for a reason he can't quite understand.

"Findekáno."

"Nelyo, I .....o..w......y..you're.....re...... ....I'm.....gon........nd..ou!" the familiar voice.. no, Findekáno's voice comes again. Nelyo, could that be him? Even if he was, he can't remember. Whoever he was; whatever he had long ago he'd lost it amid the screams.

Finno's voice doesn't come again. Left alone again, his eyes slide shut.

. . . . . .

His wrist didn't hurt so much then; his whole body was succumbed instead. All his nerves concentrated to the edge of his finger - one of the last on his right hand still left in tangible shape. Strands of fiber holding together red flesh and pearl-white bones with difficulty. Tattered pieces of leather distinguishing palm from fingers. Yellow pus dropped like water from where the coverage of skin had been ripped from him.

Mairon stood hooded under a dark cloak. But even from the gloomy yellow fires that lit the cell - bouncing from his naked body shimmering in sweat, covered by old and new scars - his golden hair and eyes gleamed in radiance. Mairon's face was inhuman, beautiful. But though dazed as he ever was, he didn't miss what his tormenter had in his hand.

The nail was first. He knows the sequence all too well. He didn't remember screaming, but a voice unmistakably his was ringing in his ear. Faintly beside him he heard metal clashing - a change of tools. But Mairon would not hurry. He enjoyed the screams.

Hours, or maybe days after, just as the pain became bearable enough for him to take an unstable breath, a small knife gleamed from out of the shadows. Sharp, but not sharp enough to rob him of the sensation of his skin being torn and peeled apart. Familiar pain swept his hand. And he begged the Valar to have pity on him and take his life.

They didn't listen, or maybe it was just that they were too far away to hear.

. . . . . .

He shivers, as if waking from a nightmare - or maybe this was all a nightmare. One that he never found out how to wake from.

Where is he sleeping then? And who is he, if not an unhappy soul dangling from the cliffs of an endless mountanous peak? Still in the dark cell, waiting to be tortured endlessly; somewhere else entirely, where he would wake up and tell his friends about how terrible a dream he had? Would one of them be Findekáno? Maitimo thinks, smiling bitterly. The blessed child from Tirion would know. What would Finno say if I told him he appeared in my dream?

His head starts to clear. "Wake up, Maitimo," he orders himself. "Don't dread your nightmares."

As if to confirm his thought, his ears picked up Findekáno's voice, closer and more coherent. He was singing. The song Maitimo had written for him on his begetting day. When Findekáno reached the end of the first verse, he exerted the very last of his strength, his vocal chords worn.

In hopes that this dream may end if he sang to the very last word.

"Nay, at the shores of Alqualondë I stand, as I see the sickle of Valacirca for what I yearn is beyond the sea, across the rage of Ulmo and Ossë where the fathers of our fathers first saw the stars......

[secondhand-trash]

The Last Petal Falls

A/N: this is my part of the bnharem may flower collab (and also my comeback fic? If that’s a thing?)! Special thanks to our girl @jojosmilktea​ for making the masterlist which you can find over here uwu 

Big shoutout to @redbeanteax​ too because I thought this was a hot mess at some point and she calmed me down aha-

Pairing: Todoroki Natsuo x reader

Description: “I think I’m dying.”

Warning: hospital setting, unknown disease (it’s a plot device that I have no research direction in please forgive me), mentions of death

Word count: 5191

-

“Natsuo?”

“Yes?” He looked up from the foot of your bed where he was checking the clip board that held all your information. 

You stared mindlessly ahead as if you were looking past him. Everything in the room was white. The sheets, your gown, his hair, the lights that made your head hurt, the pot by your bed that held the only bits of colour in your life at this point. It had been a while since there was more colour to your life than just the daffodils in the pot. You slowly lifted your hand up until it was right at your eyes.

Had your skin always be this lifeless?

“I think I’m dying.”

Natsuo froze at the spot when he heard what you just said, blood retreating from his face as your words made his heart shake. Your eyes were hollow as you slowly put your palms down again. You said with a such casual tone, one so nonchalant that it probably shouldn’t be used to announce something that held as much weight your own death.

He was shocked, but you didn’t look away. In fact, it wasn’t a prediction, you knew your end was near no matter what other people kept trying to say to you.

Natsuo blinked before regaining his posture, a stiff smile and forced chuckle finding its way to his lips. “Don’t be silly, of course you aren’t.”

You tilted your head and hummed, eyes not once leaving his broad frame when he sighed and ran his hand through that well-groomed hair.

Todoroki Natsuo. Friend first, doctor second. 

Just as you couldn’t remember how long it had been since you arrived at this ward, you couldn’t quite put a number on how long you had known the kind doctor as well. It must had been quite some time though, that you were certain of. Because you did have a distinct memory of laughing with him on the grass field of your old campus, the one with wild daffodils all around. It was when there was still a lingering boyishness to his laugh, one that you didn’t think you had heard in some time. You remembered the sun warming up the tip of your finger to which you were thankful for, because there was no way the uncomfortably pale lights above your head could compare to that.

Had it really been that long? You thought to yourself, subconsciously wrapping one hand around the other, and shivered when you felt how icy your fingers were. 

“Do you need me to get you a thicker blanket?” He asked, eyebrows furrowing as he watched your every move. 

“No,” you smiled, and somehow the slight lift of your lips that didn’t reach your eyes hurt him even more than it would if you had frowned, “I’ll be fine.”

He shook his head, slipping the clip board back into the holder by the side. “Wait for me here.”

Natsuo stopped on his tracks the moment he took a turn at the corridor and reached a corner where he knew was out of his sight. He let out a heavy sigh, his breath trembled as his shoulder dropped. Had you expected him to just carry on like nothing happened? You just told him that you were dying for the love of god. Running his hand down his face in a desperate attempt to keep himself together, his mind was in pieces as he thought of you.

You. Patient first, crush second. 

He could remember the exact moment he met you. He had just got into college, finally away from the things that had kept him trapped for so long. He was young, ambitious, full of aspirations and anger. He had made a promise to himself that these coming years would be about him. For the first time in his life, he could finally had the privilege of having something that was all for him. 

Until he met you, and his entire world was flipped upside down.

He couldn’t pin point what it was that made him gravitates towards you. But the moment he heard your laugh from across the end of the hall, he knew he wanted to know you. You were walking with your friends, laptop in hand and pen behind your ear. Your eyes twinkling as you walked past him, completely unaware of how you had changed his entire life from that moment on. Natsuo didn’t even notice that you were gone like a flash until he finally regained his sense seconds after you walked past, cursing himself for acting like a dazed creep and just stood there instead of doing something useful. 

But thankfully, luck was on his side for once. When he opened the glass door to the nearest canteen, he had to physically restrain himself from gasping out loud. There you were, with an apron on and standing right in front of the cashier, bright smile on your face as if you were doing something more exciting than handing people change. He started showing up to that exact canteen every day in hope of being there during your shift, and he could not forget the joy that erupted in his chest the time you talked to him for longer than usual with no one else behind him in the line.

Short exchanges turned into paragraph long text messages into being near inseparable. For a long while, Natsuo told himself that he was content with being your friend. That was way more than he had expected when he stubbornly tried to get you to talk to him more by eating at the same canteen consecutively for months anyways. But the more time he spent with you, the more he realised that he could never truly wave away the lingering thought in his head that he wanted more. That if he had a choice and you wanted to give him a chance, he would not mind being the reason behind your smile every single day. 

It had been an awful long time since he saw you smile.

There were multiple times when he was very close to letting the bubbling feelings inside his chest took over the better part of him and every time he had caught it at the tip of his tongue just as it was about to slip. When you turned to him and asked him if there was anything wrong, he would always smile back and brushed it off, trying to fight the lasso around his heart that was pulling tighter and tighter until it became hard for him to even breath. 

It was almost shameful in a way, but he was scared. Every time just as he made a promise to himself that it would be the time he tell you how he truly felt, it was the same smile that attracted him to your side making him swallow his own words back into the pit of his stomach. It was precious, you were precious, what if he lost it in just mere seconds because of his own impulsiveness? He was scared of the idea that one day your eyes would dim when you see him, that you would turn away nd try your best to end the conversation when there was a time when times flew by as you talked and talked and talked. He loved you badly, but he was afraid of losing you even worse. So he hid it, tried his best to soothe the pounding in his chest in exchange to keep what he had right now for longer.

Todoroki Natsuo spent years being your friend, and in all honesty, with all the sincerity in his heart, he was grateful for it. Really, but it did not stop him from imagining the way your hand would feel fitting into his and the thought of waking up to your every morning. It was a shock to him even, that even after so long, he still failed to convince himself that he was content with being your friend.

It was a warm, summer afternoon. He remembered very clearly, because it was supposed to be the day he stopped running away. He had planned to tell you that he loved you, in a way far beyond what you expected him to. For real this time, he had told himself when he got a text from you asking if he was free to come meet up at the spot that used to be your favourite when you were at school, this time he would not back away no matter what the result might be. 

That was what he had told himself, but when he saw your lips pursed together and your hands fidgeting from the far corner of the field among the yellow dots of wild daffodils with a sorrow he had never seen in your eyes before, he knew that he might have to betray his own promise for once more. 

You had planned to be calm when you eventually tell him the news, but all of your composure was shattered the moment Natsuo kneeled down beside you and asked you if everything was alright before you even saying anything. There was something about being treated with tenderness at a time of vulnerability that touched your soul to the depth of its core and it did not even take you to open your mouth for him to know that you were putting up a front you could not carry on with. 

He panicked when the first drop of tears rolled down your chin, his frame towering over yours as he tried to comfort you by shielding you from the rest of the world.

He was gonna tell you how much he loved you, he was certain that this was the day his years of yearning finally ends. But as the world melted away and all he could focus on was your muffled cries as you told him, struggling and pain dripping from your cheeks, that your body was being slowly decayed away by a sickness no one could manage to name, he came to the realisation that whatever he had to say, it could wait.

He had loved you silently for years and he decided that could do it for as long as you were around. For now, you needed him as your friend, and so that was what he would do.

He stayed by your side through each step you took further down the road, even as his heart shattered at the sight of you growing weaker and weaker. It wasn’t your shaky hands or the hollow of your face that pained him, it was the dullness in your eyes that he could not ignore as much as he tried. He took his field of study for a reason, but there wasn’t a time when he had prayed to all the gods he could name that there was a cure somewhere hidden within the stacks and stacks of reports he drilled into his head as much as he did when he saw you sitting by the window, staring outside at the hospital courtyard almost lifelessly.

He fell in love in an instance the first time he caught a glimpse of the stars in your eyes, but he wasn’t sure what he would do if the day when there was no more light in the sky descends.

“I think I’m dying.”

Your voice echoed through the void in his head that he tried to fill with happy memories of the past and brought him back to the present, when he could hear the ac of the hospital and the beeping of machines. Natsuo shook off the terror that loomed at the back of his head as he clutched the blanket in his hand. 

He was overthinking, he thought to himself as he spun on his heels. His steps heavy and more rapid, nearly as messy as the million of thoughts that was screaming in his head right now. 

(How could he live thinking you couldn’t?)

They were overthinking, the forced voice of rationality repeated as he took a deep breath at your door. It would be alright, they would be alright.

He didn’t eve notice how natural it was for the corner of his lips to lift up the moment he pushed open the door. As if he could pretend the weight pulling his heart all the way down to the pit of his stomach wasn’t there if you didn’t see past the smile on his face.

“I got you a blanket.”

“Thank you.” You smiled softly as he laid the soft fabric on top of you.

“I think I’ll have to go, my shift is about to start.” He said as he tucked down the corners. He didn’t even work in the wing of the hospital you were staying in but yet he was here every day, no exceptions. You had tried to tell him that there was no need to check up on your every day, guilt lumping at your throat when you caught him yawing when he thought you weren’t looking. It was no use, of course, Todoroki Natsuo was a rather stubborn one if he had already made up his mind. “I’ll come check back on you before I leave today, yeah?”

“Of course,” you replied, pushing down the urge to tell him to rest a little, that you would rather have him spend that time on himself than on you. He would argue that he did it because he wanted to and you could already imagine the look of hurt and disapproval when you eventually let slip that you thought there was no hope for you. You weren’t even sure if he truly believed that there was hope in your recovery or that it was for the mere purpose of cheering you up at this point, but he had always held more hope for you than you did yourself. 

You paused as he was about to turn away.

“Natsuo?”

“Hm?”

“Can you help me water the flowers before you go?”

The ceramic pot sitting by your bed was no fancy item and neither was the small flowers standing up soundly inside. Natsuo got you the small plant when you first moved into the ward and he beamed when he saw how fond you were of the buds of chamomile. They reminded you of happier times, you had told him as you traced one of the petals with your finger. Even though you did not even dare to think of the possibility of ever seeing the daffodiles fields again, at least the faint smell of the flowers could bring your mind a bit of peace.

You took great care of the plant and it was the little bit of leisure you could steal from the dullness of having no where to go. It had barely blossomed when he bought the plant but it had grown so much taller now that he paid attention to it. 

If only some of its vitality could be spared to you... 

“Sure.”

As he carefully wet the soil, he was almost shocked when he saw that one of the flowers had wilted. It was dried out, lifeless as it curled at the roots. You were always so attentive to the pot of flowers that any browned leaves would be plucked away before anyone could notice, how come one of the flowers had died and you didn’t do anything about it?

“I’ve decided to leave it there,” you were quick to noticing his silence, “I woke up this morning to see that one of the flowers died. I was going to pick it out but not doing that. There isn’t much point denying a natural process anyways.” 

He could almost hear the hollow of your words in his head again as he looked at the dying flower.  

(”I think I’m dying.”)

“Maybe it’s only this one,” he said, trying to ignore how odd your calmness was to him, “I’m sure the rest will keep growing strong.”

You sighed, and he wasn’t sure what to do with how defeated that sound was. “I hope so.”

-

“Do you think the flowers are dying because it has been trapped here for too long?”

You didn’t look away from the pot as you talked, your brows furrowing together as you spotted more and more of the stems showing signs of yellowing. It had only been days since the first flower wilted but there seemed to be no sign of slowing down for the decay of the plant. What went wrong? You wondered, remembering clearly that you had taken care of it just the same way you did all along. 

Perhaps it really was a signal.

“Maybe it’s the lack of sun light?” Natsuo said, containing the urge to just snatch the pot out of your hand as he pick up the visible downturn of your mood the longer you look at it. “Should we put it somewhere near the window?”

You stared at him for a while as he extended his hands to you before gingerly handing the pot over. 

Could it be that the stuffy room had sped up the years? Or did you water it too much? Not enough? You could push it to the back of your head at first. You could try to pretend it didn’t bother you at all for as much as you tried but it would be a lie to say you had already accepted it. You didn’t look away when they showed you the black and white cast on the film that was supposed to be your body, you did not even budged when they pointed out where it went wrong. You nodded without a hint of grimace when they later told you that they didn’t know what exactly went wrong, only that it was slowly reaping you away.

At first it was regular check ups, and then at some point the doctor advised that it was best for you to stay in the hospital all together. You only cried once. Not when you knew that all your plans were shattered by this unknown illness that was eating at you, not when you realised it would be a long time until you could see the fields you loved again. The only time you cried was when you told him that maybe nothing in your life would stay the same anymore. You weren’t sure what it was about Todoroki Natsuo that made you feel so strong and so small all at once. Perhaps it was the knowing that even for just the split second you stood with him among the dandelion, you were safe. 

You couldn’t fathom what your world would be like if you didn’t have at least someone to look forward to each day in this plain ward, you could imagine that it must be lonely.

Todoroki Natsuo. Friend first and foremost, even though sometimes you wonder if you deserve it.

He had so kindly bought you those flowers as a way to make the four walls a bit less cold, putting bits and pieces of life back into you for as much as your weakening hands can grab onto. But now they were dying, and it seemed like nothing you do could stop life from slipping away.

“There,” Natsuo said as he placed the pot on the windowsill, “I’m sure it’ll be better now.”

You did not have the heart to say that you were almost sure that there was no turning back at this point. 

“Should I help you water it before I go?” he asked, rolling up the sleeve of his coat as he said so. Tilting his head as he saw that your mind was elsewhere, he took one step closer to you. “(y/n)?”

“Hm?” You snapped up to look at him. Pausing to think about what he had just said, you tried to brush off all the thoughts and doubts in your head with a smile. “Yeah, that would be nice. Thank you.”

“It’ll be growing again in no time,” He said, trying to sound as convincing as he could be, “don’t worry about it.”

You could only force yourself to nod.

-

It seemed like nature was not on his side after all.

Natsuo nearly gasped when he saw the pot of daffodil, no, the tangling weed on your window. There was only one left, one last yellow flower standing among the dried out leaves that surrounded it. 

“I don’t think it will last till tomorrow.” you said. You were leaning against the headboard, it was starting to get harder and harder for you to sit up without any help now. You had no idea why, you had barely done anything but you were always tired. You couldn’t even water the flowers yourself if you try, you always get Natsuo or the nurse who checks in on your every once in a while to do it for you. “It is still watered regularly and all that, I have no idea what went wrong.”

“Would it be that we water it too much?”

You shook your head. “No, I don’t think that’s it. You even asked the florist for directions, remember?”

“The pot is not big enough?”

You let out a weak laugh, one that sounded more like a cough instead and he winced at how you almost sounded hoarse. “But it was fine for weeks after the flowers grew out?”

“Maybe it’s ventilation-”

“Natsuo,” you cut him off, your head dropping as his face softens at your calling of his name, “it’s fine.”

Running his head through his hair, he sighed before swinging it down in defeat. “I’m sorry”

“What are you apologising for? It’s not your fault.” You chuckled, your head tilting as you fidgeted with your hands. You could barely feel the temperature of your own skin. “All things have an end, there’s nothing we can do about it.”

It wasn’t, but deep down he still had a feeling that he had failed the one role he tried so hard to keep up with. He wanted to make it less painful for you, whether it was possible or not. He felt a horrible stir in his stomach upon the instinct that you were not talking about the flowers. He wanted to stop you, but you didn’t let him as you carried on.

“Daffodils are the prettiest when it’s out in the wild, with the sun and the wind blowing through,” you looked almost enamored by the sight you were conjuring in your head, a dream-like trance draping over your eyes, “you can only keep it in a room for so long until it eventually gets sick of the lights and the walls.”

You wished you could see the daffodil fields one more time.

He didn’t even realise how his nails were dug into his palm until the ache turned dull. Natsuo sighed, “Do you want me to water it anyways? Maybe we can keep the last flower.”

“No need,” you shrugged a little, your breath almost shaky as you exhaled, “I say we let it be, maybe it’s better that way.”

And there it was, the same acceptance in your tone as if it didn’t bother you at all. But he knew you better, acceptance only came after you give up on the possibility that you would be given a chance not to accept fate. 

("I think I’m dying.”)

“But-”

“It’s fine, Natsu, really,” you said, shaking your head a little as if to wave away whatever it was lingering in your mind before looking up at him with a smile. You smile, but there was no twinkle in your eyes anymore. “You should go get some rest, you have a long shift today.”

“It’s ok, I-”

“I’m feeling tired anyways,” you laughed when you saw that he didn’t even budge, your eyebrows raising a little to the best of your ability, “go!”

Despite your persistence, Natsuo could not bring himself to leave without taking one secretive glance at the last standing daffodil at the window. Maybe you were right, maybe it would not last till tomorrow. HIs heart sank at the thought and how even though you sounded like it was all set in stone for you, he knew that stripping away this last memory of the life you had before falling ill would be the final stone to your desperation. 

He wouldn’t pretend that he was going through all the turmoil for nothing but his care for you. Perhaps it was a bit selfish too, but he secretly wished that there would be a day when he could finally told you those words he buried deep within time after time. 

He was hoping, praying that you could see the day it happens. But for now, as he stared at the lone yellow flower under the golden hour sunlight from outside the door, this plan that seemed near impossible would just have to make do.

-

Your head was heavy when you wake up again.

You dreamt of home last night only to open your eyes to face the harsh reality of the white ceiling. It had been so long, honestly it was more surprising that it could still faze you. In your dream, everything was so real, so real that the disappointment when you broke out of it hurt even more.

You thought you had accepted that this was all there was left to your life already.

“Morning (y/n).”

You twisted your head to the side to see the nurse in charge of your ward fixing the curtains. She was very nice, and you always enjoyed seeing her every morning. You wondered if she had seen you stirring awake just then.

“Morning,”

Gripping the bar of your bed, you tried your best to sit yourself up. Your eyes fell onto the pot when she moved. It was a gut feeling when you said you knew it wasn’t going to live past today, and you were almost said to say that you were right. It was just dried out leaves laying lifelessly on the soil now, who would have known how beautiful it once was if they had seen it now?

“It’s so sad that the flowers wilted,” the nurse pitied, “they make the room so much nicer.”

You sighed, letting out a mindless mumble of agreement.

“You have been so out of your element lately,” she said, “maybe we should open the curtains in here, sunlight would be good for your spirit, no?”

Seeing as you did not object, she held both curtain in hand and pulled it apart. The morning sun immediately shined into the room through the window, you could almost imagine the warmth on your skin.

But the moment she looked out, she gasped.

“Oh my...”  she clasped her hand around her mouth in shock, “(y/n) you need to see this!”

Your brows locked together in confusion. You had seen the court before, you used to sit by the window all day long when you felt better. What was it that made her reacted like that? 

Your eyes squinted from the light as she helped you to the window. Putting a hand on your forehead to block the sun, you looked out as you pondered what could possibly be out there that she insisted that you must see it yourself.

Your breath stopped when you finally saw what was in the court.

That was not real. You could not believe your own eyes, how was it even possible?

You did not look away even once when the hand supporting your arms slowly retreated away, replaced by a pair of larger palms.

You could feel your eyes welling up when you heard his voice.

“So,” you did not need to look at him to know that Natsuo was smiling, “thoughts?”

“Did you do this?”

He chuckled, “Do what?”

Your gripped his arm as you turned to look at him. He was grinning ear to ear, and that was the answer you needed.

All you saw was an ocean of yellow flowers. Down in the hospital courtyard, every inch of the ground was covered with daffodils. They were blooming, every single one of them as the sun shined onto each bud. It was almost like the petals were emitting a golden glow. It was still the same grey walls, but for the first time since you got here, you found yourself not wanting to look away.

You never thought you would ever get to see this sight again, but somehow he managed to bring the fields to you.

You didn’t even know you were laughing as the tears roll down your face until his swept away the drop with his thumb. It was the same smile that pulled him to you and never left. He didn’t even know how much he had missed the sight of it until butterflies erupted in his chest as you looked up at him.

He would give you all the flowers in the world just to keep that smile.

“How did you do that?” you were at awe as you looked between the sea of flowers and back at him.

“Well,” he scratched the back of his neck, “I called in every single florist in town to see if they have daffodils. It was probably the universe helping that I could get that many, really.”

You sucked in a deep breath at the thought of him going from store to store even when he was probably already exhausted from work just to make you happy. “You really shouldn’t-”

“But do you like it?” He asked, eyebrows raising like he knew he could win you over any argument you were trying to raise.

You paused, biting your lips before replying. “Yeah?”

“Then it means I should do it.” He said, and you felt like you could get lost in his eyes as he stared right into the depths of your soul, “I’ll do anything for you, you know that.”

It was not a question, he had always supposed you should know that he meant every word and as much as you knew that he was the best thing to have ever happened to you, there was so little things you could think of that was more precious than someone believing in a future for you more than you did yourself.

You never deserved him, although he would be the one to protest against that thought.

Todoroki Natsuo. Friend, now and always would be, but maybe something more too.

“You’re gonna get into so much trouble for that...”

“I could get it here in one night, I’m sure I can get it out in just as little time too.” You laughed as he poked his tongue out and winked. 

His hand was so warm against your back.

“When I’m finally out of here,” you said and he nearly beamed, “let’s go see the daffodils again.”

Natsuo had waited years to tell you that he loved you. But at that moment, he was starting to believe that there was never a need for that.

“Of course.”

[haunted-by-catholic-guilt]

tma prompt- Jon yearning

I Love You, Don't You Know?

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this has been in my inbox for ages omg

its bad and likely ooc

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Jon heard the coughing as soon as Martin got into work.

Jon wasn’t as oblivious as people thought him to be, he was at least able to tell that martin had looked more and more worn down every single day for the past three weeks, he didn’t know much, not really having any personal interactions with the other man, but he had heard Martin mention his mum being ill and having to take care of her.

The answer was clear, the weeks of little sleep and worry caught up to the man.

He didn’t care, not really, not more then a boss should, he cared that the work got done and that the others didn’t get sick.

That is all.

He didn’t care that Martin was ill.

Why should he?

Martin was slow, and his handwriting was atrocious, he constantly made mistakes, and spent the whole day making tea.

Good tea.

Damnit.

Jon groaned, just as the door opened. 

“Uhh you alright, Boss?”

Jon looked at the door to see Tim, leaning against the frame with files in his hand.

“Yes, yes, I’m fine... Just… a lot of work.”

Tim didn’t seem inclined to believe him, but he nodded.

“Alright, let us know if you need any help, yeah?  It’s what we’re here for.”

Jon nodded and buried his face into his work again, and stayed like that until Martin knocked on the door.

“Uh- hey Jon, I uh- I brought you some tea and this follow up you had me do.”

“Ah, thank you, Martin- uh-  are you alright? I heard you coughing earlier and- well- if you wanted the day off, to uh, recover.”

Jon started awkwardly at Martin and fought the urge to hide, and it looked like Martin was doing the same, his whole frame went rigid and his face paled, cheeks blushing a dark pink.

“Oh- uh- sorry, no, I’m fine, but-but thank you!”

Martin then quickly left his office and left Jon in his wake, defeated, with a small twinge in his heart.

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It was late, Jon knew that.

He had gotten sucked into another statement and now the office was quiet, a sign that work was done and he needed to go home. 

He emerged from his office, the bonk sound being the tap of his cane against the floor when he noticed a small light coming from inside the assistant’s office.

No one should be here...

Jon stepped slowly to the door, the statements must’ve been getting to him saying how scared he felt, but when he stepped into the dimly lit room, he was greeted with nothing.

Except for one assistant passed out on his desk, an oversized hoodie wrapped around him.

Damnit.

He crept over to Martins sleeping form and tapped his shoulder gently.

“Martin, uh- wake up.”

Martin didn’t budge, so Jon shook him a little bit, and when he felt the heat coming off Martin’s body he winced.

“Martin! You gotta wake up.”

He was shouting now, kinda, he felt bad but he knew he had to be loud, and Martin shot up, immediately breaking into a coughing fit. 

“Ah shit.”

Jon awkwardly rubbed circles onto Martin’s back while the other man desperately tried to catch his breath.

“You’re alright, man, just catch your breath.”

After a minute, martin did, and he looked around, face painted with confusion, before his dark eyes focused onto Jon’s concerned face.

“Oh- uh- sorry Jon, I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

Martin was panicking, and Jon did everything in his power not to panic too.

“You’re alright Martin”

Martin dropped his gaze, and Jon took in his frame, shaking and pale.

“You’re sick, why’d you come in today?”

Martin huffed out a laugh and buried his head in his hands.

“Couldn’t afford to take the day off, ‘nd needed to finish things.”

Jon’s heart wanted to break, so he quickly gathered his thoughts and made an impulse decision.

“Do you want to come to my place for the night? I know it’s closer than yours and I actually do have some medicine and such.”

Martin looked shocked and slightly scared by the offer, and he quickly shook his head.

“Jon, no I couldn’t, I can just head home.”

The panic Martin must’ve felt triggered another coughing fit in him, and he was doubled over in his chair, Jon awkwardly rubbing his back.

“Please, Martin? You’ve helped me out quite often, I would like to repay you.”

Martin still refused, reassuring Jon he could sleep it off, and so Jon let him go.

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Jon wasn’t sure what came over him at the office the night prior, but the next he got the text morning only reinforced the feeling.

It was a string of letters, something that could’ve been interpreted as words but were not actually words, save for the word sorry at the end, figures to be the one word he can still spell.

Jon’s heart froze when the message came in, and the same urge to take care of him arose again, and before he knew it, he was on his way to Martin’s apartment.

He knocked on Martin’s door, before realizing that the door was unlocked, and he carefully pushed it open.

Martin was passed out on the couch, still in his clothing from yesterday, and it didn’t look like he’d taken anything or had anything to drink.

Jon sighed, he wasn’t the caretaking type so why he kept offering was beyond him, he didn’t even like the man!

He didn’t understand why whenever Martin’s hand brushed his he felt his heart skip a beat, or why when Martin spoke to him, voice not coated in fear, he felt chills run down his spine.

He stepped silently into the kitchen, grabbing a glass of water from the tap, and looking around to see, alarmingly, no food.

He sighed, and sent off a text to Tim, being sure it sounded as…. professional as he could while asking for him to bring things to take care of his archival assistant.

Whom he did not like.

Tim shot back a “sure, boss ;)” and Jon groaned, making his way to the couch and gently shaking Martin awake.

“Martin, you gotta wake up.”

The sleeping man groaned and pried open tired eyes, which were foggy and confused until he registered who was standing over him.

“J’n? What’re you doin?”

He tried to push himself up, but Jon set his hand on his shoulder gently, pushing him back down.

“You’re ill, Martin, here, drink.”

He held the water to the other man’s lips and he reluctantly took a sip, before settling back down when Jon let him.

Just then, Tim knocked on the door and came in with a bag of sick person food, and Jon quickly excused himself.

He leaned against the wall outside Martin’s building.

God.

He hated Martin.

[uchihashisuii]

22 and whoever u want with Oda 😏

22) “Look at you, I’ve only started using my fingers and you’re already shaking.” prompt list

I went with my oc Astraea who I created solely to ship with Oda sksksksk bless u for encouraging me this is a quick drabble nd there will be more at some point probably cw for shibari + some tenderness cause I cant write smut without it ig

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The lines and bights of the rope dig into her skin, just enough to hold her steady. Arms behind her back, knees bent and thighs spread with her heels nearly brushing her ass. The restriction and heady combination of pleasure-pain makes her cunt throb and her pulse soar; she feels exposed and powerless and divine.

Astraea sits on the edge of the bed, breast heaving as she yearns to fidget. Oda watches her silently from where he stands in front of her, hand over his mouth and desire written clear as dawn in his pale eyes. He's without a shirt, one hand held casually is the pocket of his dress pants. He had wound the rope slow and gentle around her body, leaving soft kisses in his wake as he traveled. He always takes his time, reveling in every inch he covers and ensuring it's never tight enough to burn. She offers him her trust and faith with her surrender to his control; he's never broken it before, and isn't about to start now.

It is its own sweet sort of torture, the fact that he's standing close enough her breath brushes against his exposed abdomen, but she cannot touch him; and in turn he refuses to touch her. Not yet.

Not yet.

Not until she begs for it.

Astraea isn't certain how long it is before she finally breaks. Maybe a few minutes, maybe an hour. But between one breath and the next his name is honey on her tongue, her clit pulsing from the sight of his tattooed torso and the anticipation alone.

"Oda," she breathes through teeth clenched tight enough to crack, "please."

His cheek twitches into a half smile, sighing through his nose as he leans down. He extends a hand to brush a lock of dark hair from her face, caressing her cheekbone so gently she thinks she may have imagined it.

"Please what?" Oda asks, moving to kneel in front of her, making her breath catch. Her thighs tense as she rocks herself forward, far too eager.

"Touch me, please," Astraea finally begs, shaking her head as her arms strain against their bindings. "Anywhere. I just - I need your hands."

Oda hums under his breath, bringing his hands to rest on her knees. He rubs them gently, before moving his rough palms up the smooth planes of her thighs, making Astraea throw her head back with a moan.

He takes his time once more, nails catching on the criss-crossing lines of rope. When he finally reaches the apex of her thighs she gasps out his name, legs shaking and stomach clenched in a tight knot from the expectation.

The tips of his fingers softly -so, so softly- brush over her folds, slick and sensitive and the barely-there touch is enough to make her jolt, back arching as she stutters out his name. She hears him groan, deep in his chest, as he moves a hand up to slide two fingers into her mouth. Astraea catches his gaze as her lips immediately close over them, cheeks hollowing and her teeth coming down just enough to tease. She can taste her slick on him and moans softly around his digits, cunt clenching down on nothing.

"Look at you," Oda whispers, pupils blown wide from desire, "I've only started using my fingers and you're already shaking."

Astraea can do nothing but plea silently with her eyes, rocking her hips forward as her thighs flex. For you, she tries to say with naught but her gaze, always for you.

Without warning Oda's fingers press down on her tongue, just as the other hand moves higher, two fingers slipping into her soaked and aching cunt. Her eyes go wide and she thinks, distantly, she may have screamed.

[jostenneil]

idk why but whenever you mention misery romance I always laugh because I’m like that. Whenever I read a romance shojo manga I always look forward to the conflict and the different ways lovers hurt each other. as much as I like wholesome couples, I like things to be shaken up a bit. Do you have any favorite miserable romance pairs?

just going to do short summaries with these since i have quite a few  

tesadora and perri / the lumatere chronicles / when they were kids he tried to drown her and she carved a permanent scar into his forehead bc their peoples were severely at odds with each other and there’s just. so much misery it’s so good “we’d do cruel things to each other” and every time i evaporate 

eugenides and irene / the queen’s thief / enjoyment of this series rests entirely upon going into it unspoiled but here’s a banger quote “i have been living with your grief and your rage and your pain ever since. i don’t think - i don’t think i had felt anything for a long time before that, but those emotions at least were familiar to me” 

narnie and jude / jellicoe road / what happens when your parents die in a car crash and then all that’s left is your brother and the three friends you make except over the years everyone leaves or dies and what’s left is just you and a boy who can’t forgive each other for surviving 

marco and connie / gangsta. / sometimes love is leaving the mercenary life behind bc seeing a girl cry after you kill her parents rattles you to your core and you spend every waking day after resolving to do better and she’s got anger and hope enough to hold you to that standard, to “a terrible curse to carry” 

sasuke and sakura / naruto / we’ve already been over this but i think het hero worship is sexy! love it when girls are hopelessly in love with traumatized boys who make them cry and they have to suck it up and keep moving forward all the while their heart is breaking 

bruce and talia / dc / extension of the above! sometimes romance is you and the dashing, brooding hero who swoops in to save you on occasion but is too emotionally unreliable to follow through all the way, so you save yourself and shelter yourself within the walls of your own heart despite the yearning and aching and knowledge that he loves you eternally

arata and taichi / chihayafuru / when the new kid in town is poor and you make fun of his pants and push him into a puddle but then somehow get roped into this weird freaking card game he’s insanely good at and now all you want to do for the next six years is be good enough for him to look at you as an equal. “a boy who showed me his cowardly side” haunts me

kou and aoba / cross game / ah, the inevitable crash and fall into love with a boy whom your sister loved first, before she drowned in a river over the summer at the age of ten, and you said to yourself, i’m going to hate this boy forever, i’m going to hate him for taking away my time with my sister. and then you don’t. you don’t hate him even a little bit 

nate and elena / uncharted / i know tlou is the more famous nd game but frankly idgaf bc no one can give me on-again-off-again trauma drama like these two do. the way she almost died so they got married and then he LEFT? and then they got married again and he decided to go on another suicidal treasure hunt that also nearly broke their marriage like this is coney island by taylor swift ft. the national but as a video game saga 

kakashi and obito / naruto / sorry to bring another naruto ship into this list but i simply feel like people die so often on the hill of narusasu when they don’t even come close to these two. like obito gave kakashi his freaking eye as he was dying and then kakashi killed the love of his life, and obito still had enough grace to go for the kill with minato first instead 

the mcs’ polycule / wolf’s rain / there’s just a perfect element of misery romance in being a wolf who honors your friends by snapping their necks when they’re on the verge of death and want to go out of the world without suffering for long. a tragic tenderness if you will 

suou and munakata / k project / i will be honest i hardly even remember the plot of this anymore it’s been like a decade since i watched it but you know when you’re constantly fighting each other to the death and one of you dies in the other’s arms, that’s always great misery romance. also spoilers ig lol now you gotta figure out which one dies :)

tsumugu and chisaki / a lull in the sea / when all of your friends and family are frozen underwater bc of the whims of a sea god! and you are the only one left on the surface! and a boy and his family take you in and you fall for him all the while but your heart resists and resists bc there’s a boy whom you love still left under the sea, not growing up while you do! and the boy on the surface loves you and waits for you anyway! GOD

kurogane and fai / clamp / every other clamp series has tragic gays but imo they are the best like there’s just so many blood pacts made between these two. it’s always a unique brand of misery romance when you give away parts of yourself to ensure another person’s survival and all they can do for a while is loathe you for it, bc they don’t believe themselves worthy of surviving 

my head kinda hurts now but this is like a starter pack ig. maybe one day i can come up with more gjfkldhlgf

[toorurot]

say no to this but it's drarry !!!!!

—widower draco

—ok but even when astoria was alive nd married to draco she alr knew his heart belonged to someone else

—years of unhappy marriage bc draco !! wants the bespectacled blockhead called harry potter !!!! and not some woman his parents approved of

—harry married to ginny !!! kinda a sad marriage tho :( he loves ginny, he rly does. but he cant help but yearn for the blonde boy he hated for years

—drarry constantly thinking about that one night they shared with each other in 5th year !!! it was in the ror and draco just . crumbled completely :( harry was there to witness it all— draco coming apart, draco holding onto him as if it'd save his life, draco falling asleep in his arms. harry realizing he'd never been as peaceful as he was in that moment. that night they weren't fighting on opposite sides of the war, they were just two boys finding solace in each other ))): no gryffindor vs slytherin bs, just desperate sobs and whispers of 'shh we're alright.' :((((

—anyways draco nd harry do see each other again when draco finally snaps and decides to follow his heart. fuck what his family thinks! harry is worth all the bs he's bound to face ++he's waited far too long :/ not being with harry physically hurts

—so they meet nd it goes like this: harry and draco see each other in a muggle coffee shop. (yes it was a wednesday. ofc it was A Wednesday) obviously this Was Not an accident ! draco knew harry would be here (he did some snooping around) harry,, he's stunned bc after how many years he's still a goner for the slytherin asshole who hated his guts.

—draco walks up to him nd kisses the fuck out of the man,, harry kisses back. ofc he does, he's been dreaming of this moment for years.

—harry ends up paying for a muggle hotel room. they dont talk, they dont need to. they just feel. !!!! so much pain nd yearning !! that's when it hits harry tho— he is A Married Man !! but god draco looked as helpless as harry felt ): this was wrong, harry knew it was wrong but god how could something be wrong if it felt so right?

—so harry n draco share another night. they cry, they touch, they kiss, they whisper sweet nothings to each other. it was like 5th year but so much More !! this time it's harry who slips out of the room before the other wakes up tho :(

—draco wakes up to an empty bed. he understands tho. harry is a married man. it's not that easy either bc this is The Harry Potter nd not just any married man

—it doesnt happened again nd maybe for the better. maybe their nights together were just meant to serve as a reminder that each other is something they could never have :(

gn I Dont Know what this is just . Drarry brainrot !!!! i should go to bed hhhhh