#i usually put this kind of stuff in the drafts so you don't need to read it. go ahead if you want i don't care just like. don't respond lol

[lovelettered]

.

[mtchacffinz]

to be loved for you

prompt!!! Dan Heng never dealt with jealousy. He learns bitterly that sometimes, he can't deal with it rationally!

content!!! SFW, gn! reader, fluff, mutual pining, hurt/comfort, first kiss, clingy! Dan Heng

note!!! I love him too much. So far, all he's been getting from me is fluff 💔 frankly, i cant muster any freaky-freaky stuff with this man 🤔 got anything? my asks are open 🩷

To be someone who relied on relations by circumstance, you would always cherish each and every one of those who cross your path. May they be old and wise, or young and restless— Greeting them with the brightest smile, they'd always find themselves enamoured by your energy. Maybe this is why you attract so many people? Dan Heng was aware of that. He never spoke up about it, though. After all, he was one of the many who was caught bulls eye with each strum of his heart.

He knew you were capable of fending off threats yourself. He knew you were somebody who could defend someone from harms way.. and he especially knew just how gentle and kind you treat everybody.

Oh, what is he doing? Sulking all by himself in the archives. Dan Heng's thoughts ran rampant the past minutes. This happens when he's alone or sitting idly by. The poor man's thoughts catch up to him leaving him disgruntled. The thing is, you could always see it in his face.

You've been out and about for a while. He misses you, you know. Not that he would admit! Dan Heng's stubborn, just like that. He's definitely not mulling over how you're attention has been elsewhere, either. He doesn't mind. You have the freedom to do what you want! Just leave him sulking here in the archives unattended, it's okay.

The teal eyed prince clicks his tongue. That chatty, flirty, touchy writer. At first, Dan Heng thought that he was quite a man. The writer guy was nice and respectful with a golden gaze for things that were held high. That said, the Author quickly took interest in you.

He was never one to be possessive. Why should he? You're not even in a relationship. But sometimes, as soon as the guys hands find their way towards yours, intertwining in a clasp, something in him dims. Suddenly, his eyes can't leave your figure. It was your smile again, and Dan Heng's not at the receiving end of it.

You're not on the express today, either. A shame. Seriously, that guys been hogging you all week! What's up with that? Don't even get him started on "(Y/n), my muse. Accompany me today?" bullcrap! It's nothing but a sappy excuse to get into your pants so bad! Seriously, the absurdity. Dan Heng shakes off the thoughts before they continue. Did you know? Just by his gaze alone, someone could freeze in their place— like daggers against their back.

"Hmm? Mr. Ferr, are you okay?"

"It's nothing, my sweet, I strangely caught a shiver in my spine.." the author, Ferr, replied calmly.

"Okay. So about your first draft.."

Draft this, draft that, can't he got an editor instead?!

Irk marks basically float up his head just thinking about what they're talking about right now. Can you blame him? He's been neglected.

Dan Heng slaps himself, hard.

Woah. He's getting way ahead of himself. Him? Neglected? In what way? Again, it's not like you're both in a relationship. It's not like he's entitled to your affection in any way. Dan Heng really needs to calm down. Lately, all he's been doing is updating the archives. He's also learned of what you will be traveling for next, and added data with a note addressed to you as well. His calloused hands were flipping through various pages all day, pulling apart scrolls and wiping away holograms.

His thoughts become strangely quiet. His presence was like frost.. constant. A little chilly. He starts to fiddle with his fingers, his gloves, and his nails.

He really misses you a lot.

Can you come back soon?

Dan Heng sighs. He stands up with his impeccable posture as usual. Those arms held scrolls and books, and puts them back where he got them from. At this point, he's zoned out. He exits the Archives, strolling near the parlor car. Light footsteps echo throughout the space with Dan Heng taking in the air of tranquility within the express; It seemed like everyone had their own agenda today.

Well, except for one.

"Dan Heng," Himeko's sweet, gentle voice called out for him. The boy turned towards her, a little surprised. She smiles, and beckons him to sit with her. Her silky locks framing perfectly on her face, she put a stray strand behind her ear. "Come, I have coffee to share."

Dan Heng was indeed in dire need of indulgence. Without hesitation, he walked over to the red head and sat down. He forgot how comfortable the sofa was.. his nerves began to relax. Himeko starts to pour the hot beverages into elegant coffee cups, befitting if her style. It was comfortable silence, the stars glistened into glass windows— reflecting the beauty of life. Himeko seems to have noticed his aloof vibe, joining him to stare at the stars. Opening her lips, Himeko starts.

"You've been busy for a while."

"Being an archivist is a lot of work, huh?"

"I have."

"It's fine." The gentle lady can't help but chuckle. He's so dry. This only confirms her hypothesis. That daunting look on his figure may intimidate some, but not Miss Himeko. Never Miss Himeko. She doesn't want to expose her hidden agenda now, but she just can't wait to run her mouth. After all, Dan Heng's been down the weather and it's very obvious as to why.

"(Y/n) wanted me to prepare these for you. Enjoy them." She takes a sip. His expression softened. Dan Heng can't help but think bitterly. It'd be lovely if they were her to prepare these herself, but the teal eyed prince quickly take back the thought.

"I'm thankful.. but why? Is there an occasion? I don't seem to recall any." He speaks in a cautious manner. The woman only sighs, a palm on her cheek.

"Be honest with me, Dan Heng." Her tone quickly changed. Now her eyes are staring into his. Like it was rummaging through his soul. Dan Heng's feet were cold. He couldn't contest her gaze, so he averts his eyes. Himeko frowns at this, but she doesn't seem to mind.

"Your eyes betray you greatly."

He was a little taken aback. His eyes? He was never expressive. He was sure he'd been called at least poker faced and stoic before.. Dan Heng's brows narrowed. "I beg your pardon?"

Himeko only chuckles, dismissing her last claim. "I'll tell you what. They'll be here soon.. and they're going to leave just as quickly." She adds the last statement with dramatic disdain before the elegant lady takes a sip once again. Dan Heng's stomach drop. Ah.. he's lost the appetite to even finish his mug. Himeko continues. "Ferr is taking them to a space station for one of his projects. Given the current circumstances, they have no reason to refuse."

His face scrunched in annoyance upon hearing the name again. Mr. Ferr this, Mr. Ferr that! He's getting sick of him. Taking (Y/n) on a space ship? How long will that take? Is it some sort of rendevous? A date?

..will you come back?

"i don't think that decision befalls to us. (Y/n) is capable of making decisions.."

"I don't want them to go."

"..on their own because— wait, what?"

Himeko chuckles dryly. "I don't want (Y/n) to go, you know? It's selfish thought, I know. But, it's good to be selfish once and a while now, right?"

That was a half baked lie. First of all, Himeko fully supports what (Y/n) wants. But Ferr.. isn't exactly known for his patience. Himeko knows full well as soon as (Y/n) steps in the spaceship— he'd pull something like a proposal! A profession, a deal! She's not stupid, Himeko is far from dense. The Scientist knows that the Author has a huge thing for you, and it shows. And knowing Dan Heng? He'd just nod along albeit against it. She can't just stand here and let them distance each other! Himeko's seen it.. that prying gaze of a distraught, pining lover.. the watchful eyes of a lovestruck persona. The only way to get a stubborn man to act, is through tremendous pressure!

Dan Heng's lips pursed.

"And you want me to.."

"You don't have to, really."

"But.. if it will benefit them, should we encourage it? After all, they're energetic and knows their way with words. There must be some sort of good reasoning behind his invitation."

"I don't know. Do you want them to go?"

"I.." Dan Heng couldn't finish his sentence. He couldn't form a response at all. Does he want you to go? If you would enjoy yourself, he'd love to allow it.. If you'd return with a smile on your face, tell him all about what happened, he'd love to receive you with utmost sincere..

Even if it took atleast a hundred years for you to return to him.

...Hundred years his ass! You will not spend a hundred years with that man!

"If (Y/n) wants to, I personally don't see why not." Dan Heng's thoughts actively contrasted his responses. A stubborn man.. Himeko sighs, an apologetic smile on her lips. Finally backing away, the lovely lady puts down her mug and sits straight.

"It's okay to be honest. After all, they.. wish for something."

Dan Heng replies quickly in a heart beat. "I will be honest, then. I want their wish fulfilled."

"Then you better greet them in tip-top shape." Himeko winks saying this, standing up to excuse herself. Dan Heng tilts his head in this, not quite sure if what the she's implying. Himeko only had that knowing smirk on her pristine face. The lady excuses herself promptly, leaving Dan Heng all by himself. The man is once again left alone with his thoughts, except this time, he has new material to work with.

"Great..." He huffs bitterly, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Just.. splendid." God, his head hurts. He's tired and he's drowsy. At this point, he doesn't find anything of urgency at the moment— only thinking about grasping that sudden warmth the sofa beneath him exerts. Dan Heng would like to find peace of mind at least once in a while. Both that in mind, his eyes find their way to the Parlor ceiling, half lidded and tired.

Slowly, his breathing calms down.. and slowly, his eyes drift closed, consciousness slipping away from his grasp.

Slowly.. the darkness embraced him, and his body rested in slumber.

You stand a little surprised.

After all, Dan Heng was casually sitting upright— his eyes closed. Is he napping? Is he okay? You're not sure, and you're concerned. Frankly, you were supposed to be here for him— feeling that he deserves at least an apology that you haven't been getting back to his messages in a while. But looking at the sight.. he looks like he's accompanied at the moment.

Such a hard working guard. The guard of the express, the unmatched Archivist of the Nameless.. the one who would always hold your heart gently. You swore if he blew air on your figure, you'd crumble immediately. The only one who'd sway your heart. That's how much power he holds, his whole fingers wrapped around your being with an invisible string keeping you binded to him.

You curb a grin. Strolling near your quarters, you pick up something warm. A blanket. You envelop his stature in a comfortable tuck, pausing for a moment to take in the melancholic state Dan Heng's exhibiting. The handsome prince's eyes fluttered closed, lips slightly apart. If he's sitting upright sleeping, then he must be atleast tired enough to sleep but still be on his feet.

But he doesn't know that, he doesn't need to.

"Ah.." was all Dan Heng could muster. You look back at him in a awe, but quickly recovered. You didn't remove his hands on your wrist, you held onto them instead. The archivists eyes softened, his brows relaxing. You attempt to give him a smile, defusing the tension.

Your sightseeing was cut short when Dan Heng started to stir, his eyes fluttering open. It was for a short moment, the first those greyish teal eyes found their way towards yours.. and the way they slightly widened upon meeting gazes with you, Dan Heng's slender, warm fingers slowly snuck their way toward your wrist; apprehending their movements further. Dan Heng held onto you like you were unreal, like you were unbelievable. Oh, he looks stricken. He looks.. almost as surprised as you. Dan Heng doesn't say anything yet, the blanket that was once on him fell off just a little while ago.

"Hey. Sorry. It looks like I woke you up.." You offer an apologetic smile. He quickly shakes his head at this, responding to you in haste.

"No.. no. Don't apologize."

"I have a lot of apologizing to do."

"No, you.." before he could finish, he cuts himself off. Why must he be so accepting? He keeps brushing his feelings aside, and before he knows it, he utters something he doesn't even mean. No, he's not okay. No, it's not fine. You upset him greatly. He couldn't focus on anything because you weren't answering his messages. Your phone was unreachable.

You had Dan Heng worried sick. What if something happened to you? You reckless, Trusting, thick skulled—

"Everything good?"

Your voice immediately snaps him out of his thoughts. Dan Heng let's out a small breath, his hands still clutching yours. He was still sitting down, and you were towering over him. God.. just by your gaze alone, he's already so full. If you could just stay with him a little longer, he feels like this churning in his stomach would go away soon. He wants you so bad, he needs you so bad.. he doesn't want you to let go anytime soon.

To your surprise, Dan Heng himself removed his hold on you. His movements were slow and languid, like a flow of water within the rivers. Moving in chorus, mellifluous.. elegantly. You can't take your eyes off him at all. Dan Heng clung to your waist. His warm body enveloped your lower half, nuzzling deep into your stomach. You let out a surprised yelp.

Suddenly, your face is hot. Your stomach was dancing with abundant butterflies, and you don't know where to put your hands. As if the archivist could read your mind, his hands led yours into his head, fingers entangling itself into those dark locks. They were so soft.. so warm and lovely. Your hands run through his hair gently— cherishing just how close he is to you at this moment. What's up with him? He seems to be a little more laid back.

Dan Heng shifts in his place. That's when he finally looks up at you. His arms around you, eyes looking directly at yours. You could see his expression.. eyes soft. Gentle. A slight pout— face flushed. It looks like he wants to say something, and it's still processing in that pretty head of his.

Dan Heng's hold on you tightens, you didn't fail to notice. He wants to be selfish for once. Let him be selfish for once. Just once. With a small breath and a soft tone, he finally utters.

"Don't go."

It was getting harder and harder to calm your heart down, and that didn't get any better.

Your heart immediately melts, and your knees almost gave out. What? Go where? Has the rumours already spread? Whatever it was, it's not happening. Especially if he asked you, it's already set in stone. "I won't. Not anywhere." You respond tenderly. Dan Heng's eyes lit up. You swore his fingers even twitched just a little bit. A little more after, his face suddenly scrunched. The archivists' frame was decorated with blazing hues of red. Whatever he's thinking seems to strain him so. Not even bothering to give you time to further analyze, he stands up from his seat, arms still around you. This time, you have no idea what'll he do. Dan Heng's eyes averted yours, hesitantly taking a step closer. My.. your palms are starting to sweat. This is the effect of anticipation.

When he pulled back from you, Dan Heng quickly analyzed your expression to see even a tinge of displeasure. Now you.. face decorated with the hue of peony, looked awe struck. Absolutely enchanted.. bewildered, blown. Gathering your nerves to work back up again, your eyes slowly trailed back to his nervous ones: awaiting your reaction.

"..You can hit me after this." Dan Heng suddenly says, making you tilt your head in confusion. So carefully, he cupped your cheeks. Whatever that was you were going to say was caught in your throat. There was a bubbling feeling in your chest, waiting to pop open; and as soon as his lips brushed past yours, it popped so beautifully vibrant it blinded your vision for but a moment. As your eyes fluttered closed and his eyes half lidded, he greedily drank the sight of you from his eyes.

Dan Heng's eyes widened once you grabbed his collar— smashing your lips back to his. The kiss you've given him burned with fervor, impatient, like you've been yearning for more. You were starved of his lips— like a lone hawk hunting for aeons.

Now that the opportunity presented itself, might as well make the most of it.

The archivist had a hard time keeping up with you, keeping the both of you straight by holding the small of your back. Your arms were in Dan Heng's chest— eagerly taking him in yours. By the time you both ran out of air, you were standing in amidst the parlor car— with the stars accompanying the moment being the sole witness. You could hear Dan Heng's heartbeat whilst you rest your head on his chest. Clutching his jacket, it was tempting to go for another one again.

There was silence. A lot of words hung out in the air. The first to cut through the already light air around you was you.

"For how long?"

Dan Heng breathed heavily, burying his nose into your hair. He thinks about it for a long time before finally answering.

"Quite a while."

i went a little overboard sorry! (⁠●⁠´⁠⌓⁠`⁠●⁠) edited it a lil bit

[olderthannetfic]

A common argument I see against constructive or negative opinions (even in For Readers spaces now apparently 🙄) is that they crush people's dreams of being a writer.

And like. I have diagnosed issues with rejection sensitivity, so sharing my work publicly was extremely difficult for me at first. But it was just something I had to get through if I wanted to be a writer. When I was in a university level creative writing class, I was stunned that they wasted a seminar teaching us stuff like you're/your and there/their/they're until I noticed that my classmates found it really useful. I realised 00s fandom taught me better grammar than the actual official school system, say nothing of charactisation, voice, pacing, etc. There were a LOT of resources to help new writers understand writing 101 and avoid annoying mistakes/cliché plots, which you don't really see anymore. I honestly feel like I got an expensive years long creative writing course for free.

And even as a melodramatic and oversensitive tween, I always had the attitude that I wanted my writing to be good, so if people pointed out typos or grammar mistakes I'd just thank them, fix it and remember for next time??? I never once felt "bullied" by legitimate criticism: as someone who actually was bullied a lot IRL, 00s fandom was actually one of the few spaces where I felt comfortable and safe. Whereas tbh I don't always feel comfortable with this modern culture where fanfic writers demand comments in return for creating "content" "for free" but setting strict demands for what kind of comments they want to receive. (And ofc it's for free! It's not their intellectual property!)

Which is all to say, if someone telling you "hey, maybe consider adding paragraph breaks" makes you want to quit writing forever then maybe you didn't actually want to be a writer all that much.

--

I think people mix a whole bunch of dissimilar things.

If you go to art/film/etc. school, you'll need to get used to group critique. It's partly about advice, but a lot of it is about toughening you up for future situations where your audience is not going to care about why a work isn't up to their standards. I think some of these practices actually can be pretty damaging. It really depends on the professor to make them constructive.

A key element is that people who are going through that are usually supposed to already have some experience and be pretty committed, so they aren't going to shrivel up and quit.

When I was a little baby writer, I was indeed pretty sensitive. Even while trying to finish the first draft of a novel, I need cheerleading or maybe goading to put my ass in a chair. The hard part is getting the words out, not making them good. So a lot of negative shit, even if well meant and useful, would just be discouraging.

But...

There's a big difference between having no interest in back seat driving from AO3 comments and opposing all review-ish conversation anywhere, whether it's bookmarks or discord servers or other archives that have more of a culture of reviews than of comments for the author.

I think you can want to improve but not want to do it via AO3 comments. You should still leave readers to do their thing outside of your comments though. Analyzing or reviewing can be a big part of someone's own fannish activity—a positive and fun hobby for them, not just an excuse to yell at the writer.

[piillow]

xdinary heroes as your lab partner

(hs acquaintance xh x reader)

wc : ??? | genre : short imagines, sorta silly | a/n : i still suck at science im so sorry, these were literally done in class so they're all bad

( •̀ ω •́ )✧

GUNIL 건일 -

will definitely somewhat take charge, but isn't stopping you from doing anything

like he'll be all "okay so we gotta do blah blah blah" but if you're like "but we have to do this first" he's like "oh okay"

does that make sense ???

would joke around and laugh at a scenario where something goes wrong, but is genuinely hoping it doesn't happen (especially if chemicals are involved)

lowkey praying it doesnt happen if im being honest 💀

would let you do all the work if he has no clue what he's doing

if you don't know what you're doing, you're both screwed ...

would help you with the lab report, even if you don't need any help

"y/n it's just in case, trust" (LMAOO)

JUNGSU 정수 -

loves working with you and thinks you two work well together!!

doesn't try to get up all in your face especially if you're hyper-focused on the current task at hand

would lowkey rather be doing the lab report, but if he has to do the actual lab, he will (he has to anyway)

since he doesn't want to do it, he's basically your little "assistant"

grabbing any beakers or other supplies you need, yk stuff like that

so yeah, you're the one doing most of the work (sorry)

i feel like he might fall asleep if he gets really bored ?? lmao ??

idk i just see it tho

anyways, he'll still enjoy the outcomes you "both" make, especially if it refutes your hypothesis !! :D

GAON 가온 -

our favorite science boy omg

he's gonna do anything you don't want to do

dissections? cleaning? he'll do it because he dgaf. it's for science. that's like, his brand.

would make a lab report draft (that he didn't have to do???) and let you check it over (HELLO???)

alllways making sure you're both wearing/following the proper safety precautions

"y/n, don't touch anything without wearing gloves!" or "put some goggles on first"

i could sob 20 rivers omg 😭😭😭

will always listen to anything you have to say, whether it be feedback or smth

will also write it down if you both agree it sounds important!!

ODE 오드 -

will constantly ask if you're okay if you show a little bit of worry if something happens

if you back up a little too quickly... "omg are you okay?" OHHH MY GOD WHAT IF I CRIED 😭

he will also make sure you don't inhale anything that'll damage your lungs, or just you in general

same goes with touching stuff ^

he is also going to be very stingy if you miss a step, even if it's fine

"we can skip this par-" "no we can't, follow the instructions y/n!"

so you can expect him to take the actual thing very seriously

which he does (thankfully)

still! it will be good i promise he wouldn't mess anything up

but let's be real he's very observant so idt he will

JUNHAN 준한 -

he probably won't talk toooo much

but he's defo gonna help you out

he's usually writing down any observations he sees, and makes sure he doesn't miss anything

especially if he can add it to the lab report if your hypothesis is refuted ^^

soooo intricate with every move he makes

he'll be so in the zone it's pretty crazy !!!!

especially for any type of dissection

so locked in

will be kind of upset if he messes up, but you'll help him get over that dw

if you two finish early, he'll probably chat with you while one of you works on the lab report

which he will gladly help you on if he needs to

JOOYEON 주연 -

he's definitely gonna be making jokes left and right while you two are prepping your things LMAOO

but dw he's gonna make sure he doesn't mess up anything

(he'll try his best at least..)

he might let a joke or two slide while you're both working, but it won't be too intense

definitely gonna get distracted and start talking to one of his friends

until you shut him up and get him back on task

he absolutely hates writing lab reports oh my god

"do we haaave to do this? we can just... not do it." "... no?"

but yknow, he'll help you

"i guess i'll help you... 🙄"

he'll celebrate when you two get a good grade tho!!

send requests pls </3 i'm so desperate it's not funny i fear

[copperbadge]

What do you mean by digital cleaning?

It's something I've been working on more this year because I had a bit more travel than usual so couldn't do actual home cleaning, but I always take a couple of days in the Month Of Cleaning where I'm focused on my digital life. It's good to make your physical home a comfortable place for yourself, but it's also good to recognize that we have "digital" homes that need attention. And often this is at least less physically demanding, so it's good to keep it in your back pocket for days when you're mentally okay but physically too tired or sore to do more of that kind of work.

In the shortest possible terms, digital cleaning is just making sure that your phone, computer, socials, and other digital "presences" are organized in a way that you find helpful, and that you take a moment to either answer those messages you've been putting off or give yourself amnesty on doing so.

This tends to make a lot of people extremely anxious in a way ordinary physical space cleaning doesn't, so I'm going to put the rest of it behind a cut...

So when I say digital cleaning, I refer to stuff like going through my likes on Tumblr and clearing them out, going through my drafts and turning them into queued posts, answering my asks. I spend time in my email inboxes, either responding to messages or removing them. I am not an "inbox zero" kind of guy, but I like to keep the read-but-not-answered messages to a minimum, and towards the end of the year that usually means a clear-out and amnesty. I clean my Google Drive -- delete old files I uploaded for others, move documents I'm no longer using into an archive, move documents I want to work on into a central work folder. I go through my catch-all folder on my hard drive and organize it; I sort through the year's photos and organize those, partly to archive them and partly because I make a scrapbook from them each year. I don't usually have a ton of tabs open but often have more than I'd like, so I go through them all and either read, bookmark, or get rid of them.

I look in my phone's file tree to make sure I delete files I don't need (mostly menu downloads, Restaurants Stop Making Your Menus PDFs Challenge 2K24) and I sometimes go through each app on my phone, make sure I still use it, and make sure it's set how I want it. If this sounds like a nightmare, bear in mind that I very rarely put apps on my phone to start with -- I think my mother has more apps open at any given time than I have apps on my phone ever.

Everywhere I clean, I look for files named things like "notes" or "deal with" or "random" and move them all into one place so that whatever is in them, I can sort through it and make sure it goes somewhere permanent. Logins go in the login/password spreadsheet I keep, addresses go into my contacts, story notes go into a "fiction scraps" file, random thoughts either get moved into a journal file or put into drafts to become Tumblr posts, etc.

If this sounds like I might have some kind of compulsion disorder, I get that; when I explain my digital hygiene systems a lot of people look at me like I'm spouting a mad but harmless conspiracy theory. But it's something I used to have to do periodically even before I created National Clean Your Home Month, because otherwise I could never find anything, and everything was just...harder. As I once told a boss who admired my organizational skills, "It was this or endless chaos."

Putting addresses into my contacts list means I always know that the addresses I have for my friends are up to date. Putting logins into a spreadsheet means that five minutes spent now will not result in five weeks of procrastination later because I can't find the login and can't do anything else until I do that. Going through my email and archiving old conversations means not only can I find them easily when needed, I don't have to look at them the rest of the time. Sometimes I even go through my various wish lists and remove old/purchased items, or clear out all my "save for later" carts.

There's no doubt this is stressful, but like every part of NaClYoHo, it's broken down into smaller tasks; I don't have to look at my computer and organize everything on it all in one day. I can answer a few asks, then sort photos (something I find very soothing up until the moment I Don't), then read and delete some emails, then I'm done for the day. I can spread "answer or file all your work emails" out over a couple of days. I can maybe empty out my Likes but just turn the ones I actually want to reblog into drafts for now and deal with them later in the "drafts" phase of cleaning. And if I don't manage to empty out my inboxes, at least they're emptier than they were.

I'm struggling this morning with having put a bunch of physical cleaning on the to-do list but not feeling physically up for it, so I did what I felt capable of doing (measuring cabinets for new shelf liners mainly) and later today I might sit down and start building this year's photobook. Or not -- I have to code Radio Free Monday, sort out a prescription and possibly go pick it up, plus a very full day of work and a couple of afternoon appointments I can't shirk, so today may simply be a "get through the day" kind of day. That's okay too; some days the spirit is willing but the schedule is full.

[maxwell-grant]

Me, yesterday: Yeah you know, I like M.Bison but I'm really not a fan of him coming back, he's had his time already, he undermines a lot of current characters and storylines by coming back, we really don't need him again, it was always inevitable but I don't know man maybe oh my GOD is that the RAUL JULIA HORSE? 10/10 100/10 bring him back forever

Okay but more seriously: As one of the dead last characters I wanted to come back, the trailer had me totally flip on that stance. I mean yes it helps I'm a mark for the guy, it helps SF6 is infuriatingly good at character presentation even for characters I don't care for, but I actually think they found a very neat way to reintroduce Bison to the series this time around basically by doing to him what they did with Seth: Destroying and rebuilding him as a shell of his former self, with a whole new design, and thus a new personality and angle to approach him from, and in no position to be the Final Boss from the get-go (since it's not like they have much of a story to insert him in). But where as with Seth they leaned into the tragedy of it, Bison is now a ticking time bomb, a looming disaster waiting to happen, which fits him looking like a Horseman of Death.

It was pretty blatant even back in V that Bison was always going to come back, with Phantom Bison existing and Rose's prophecy and characters hallucinating him left and right and all the Shadaloo plot points in 6 spelling it outright. His iconic status aside, his return was telegraphed since forever, so I'm glad that they did it in a way that doesn't actually bring him back all the way to his usual self. Even putting him at the start of a new DLC Year, rather than building a big endgame show out of him like they did with Akuma, also goes a long way towards undercutting the idea that he's coming back to be the Final Boss again.

I'm really impressed with his new design because it is the perfected version of an idea they've been kicking around ever since the drafts for SFIV, that was Bison coming back all battered and torn and fucked-up. Much like older/bearded Ryu, it's an idea they saved into alternate costumes but now are finally willing to go through with as the direction for the character moving onwards. "From riches to rags" is the idea described, and they achieved it by flipping around the kind of old-school overlord he represents. Instead of General Washizaki/Yasunori Kato, he is now Raoh/Violence Jack, the ruler of the wastelands, galloping mightily onwards. (And given Ryu is based on Kenshiro, the biggest villain of this world being Raoh feels like a decision that was waiting to happen)

They've made it so they get to have it both ways: You can have M.Bison in the game looking like his old self with the classic costume, and he's here playable doing all the good Bison stuff and a bunch of new sick shit for you to love, but in the story/lore, he couldn't be further away from being like his old self, and now there is a big mystery box on what is gonna be his deal moving forward. Bison is so well-established to the playerbase that every little thing they do differently can mean something, not just in the design but also in smaller details like his light-blue flames that potentially indicate Soul Power (and that he uses to tame himself in his victory animation), or even the fact that he has visible pupils now.

I think a large part of the pushback against Bison has to do with him being so big in V's storyline and A Shadow Falls dissappointing, and the fear that they'll do it again now that he's back, but there isn't really a storyline for him. The World Tour story is set, the DLC characters add extra stuff to it but are mostly self-contained, I don't think Bison is set to bring another boring world domination plot with him this time around. It's unclear if he even wants it. I could be very wrong here, because I don't want another Bison Doomsday Plot either, I don't want another A Shadow Falls, but my interest is piqued because of how far he seems to be from doing that.

He doesn't know who or what he is, he is a homeless wanderer in Metro City, he is having a hard time keeping his power under control, and Shadaloo is currently warring between factions that want to bring him back and factions trying to ensure he stays dead, nevermind the fact that most if not all of the characters have moved past him (and Ryu still has the power to destroy him, and if Ryu isn't that much fessed up anymore about Akuma, he's definitely not gonna be that concerned about Bison), and the first thing he did when he came back was revive a horse from the dead.

I'm not gonna say this Bison is poised to turn a new leaf, but they did say he is "searching for an identity to make him smile".

Maybe the real world domination was the horses we befriended along the way.

[maythedreadwolftakeyou]

Hiii, do you have any tips for drafting out embroidery patterns? I've got one in mind, but drafting it out and color picking is so nerve-wracking!!

[Hi!!!! this got kinda really long so I'm gonna crop it under a read more. And I honestly don't have any real training/instruction in fiber arts so this is just how I do things, and probably others do them very differently!]

Haha so my fandom embroideries are VERY different from my non-fandom personal pieces in this respect. For non-fandom things i just kind of throw myself in like WAHOO FREEFORM LETS GO and go for a kind of messy colorful approach that ends up as things like this:

Versus my fandom stuff is way more structured and designed to fill space, be very precise, etc. So for those I do go in with a digital mock up of the design I make in photoshop, that I then color in, and then as my last step translate to thread colors.

For my Dragon Age series. this has been because I'm specifically trying to mimic the stained-glass style of art you see in parts of the game like the dialogue wheels, some icons, windows, etc. The icons in particular were really easy to copy into embroidery because they already come in handy circles:

This is mostly because I have desperately wanted to pick up stained glass work as a hobby for like 6 years now. As in once every 3-6 months I put everything I'd need to start doing it into an online shopping cart and look at the price total and then sadly close the window because I just don't actually have any space I could do it in (I live in a 2bed apartment so i have no garage or yard or anywhere it wouldn't make everything else a mess or be a hazard). The day after one of those events I impulse bought and completed a floral embroidery kit from the craft store and kinda was like... ok, well, I did this once how hard can it be to use this medium to mimic the hobby I wish I could be doing? Plus, it's only like 60 cents per color! I can afford that! So I took the first design I wanted to do, the romance icon, and basically redrew it sloppily in photoshop, then freehand-copied the design onto fabric and stitched it the next day:

I learned a lot from this piece and changed my approach a little. Here you can see I tried shading in the parallel direction to my thread, which looked messy and added texture, so now I shade horizontally to my thread direction instead.

But it gave me a basic approach for turning the Tarot cards or DA Keep tiles (or any other art!) into embroidery patterns, which I couldn't copy as directly into this really smooth stained-glass style. There's a basic process I follow when doing these conversions that generally follows the same order, which I'll go through below.

STEP 1: SHAPES

The first thing I do is pick the shape of my display frame which is usually a circle, but could be an oval or rectangle too, since I hang the finished pieces on my wall to have nice way to show them off. I like to fill the whole space so knowing the size and shape of what I want the finished project to look like is a good goal for me. Since I am doing fandom pieces I want to be recognizable, I do stick pretty close to the "original" character design/art, but you can absolutely change as much as you want and freehand draw your own interpretation instead. If you're doing original art just substitute the below composition notes with "sketch out roughly what you want it to look like". I personally do my pattern drafting digitally as I find it easier, but you can do this part by hand too.

First, I keep the reference image I'm working off of open next to me while I work, and draw in the shape of my frame (here, a circle). If I'm adding in the little border to be fancy, I add a second inner circle. I keep these as their own top layer so I always know I'm working within the final "frame" and don't spend time designing any section that will fall outside it. Then I will take copies of the reference image and knock the layers down to 25-50% opacity, and start moving them around underneath the 'frame' layer until I like the way their positioning looks as a composition. Sometimes elements of a card I want to include don't all fit in, so I'll chop the section out and add an additional layer to throw in (like the background circle things in the Hermit design below). Or I'll just freehand things like adding much bigger diamonds behind Solas in my Hierophant design because I did NOT want to do 1000 tiny ones. Then once I'm satisfied with the general composition, I'll use the plain ol circular brush tool to trace out the major shapes of each element. I try to keep in mind that I can't go too small, and curvy lines are more difficult to fill in than straight ones. I usually do a rough messy version first, make it mostly transparent, and then a cleaner and more precise one over that.

(you can see parts of the rough one on the left and the fully 'cleaned up' on the right for the Hierophant design)

Now: depending on what you are doing next with the pattern, this might be where you stop and start coloring. If you are planning to freehand your design or just trace it onto fabric (or even print it onto fabric here), there's no need to do more than this kind of lineart! However, if you are working digitally and want to create a scalable vector so you can print it at different sizes, you can use the pen tool in photoshop to trace your design and make a "work path" of the lineart. However, another note: THIS PART IS VERY FRUSTRATING AND TEDIOUS BECAUSE THE PEN TOOL WAS CREATED BY THE DEVIL TO TORMENT US. It is so so so easy to accidentally delete a line or even the whole path and not notice later on. Ask me how I know 😭 Anyway I'm not going to include a pen tool tutorial because I don't even know how to use it well and have to google or watch videos every other time I try to use it. But if you can muddle through it gets you some really clean lines that eventually look like this:

With the work path selected, you can select the brush tool/size/color and use the "stroke path" option to create lineart of the vector. Then you can save this as a transparent png file for use at different sizes and for printing and it looks so nice and clean! one of the big benefits to this is that you get really fine lines that are easier to be precise with stitching on. This is extra perfect if you are printing the design directly onto your fabric (which you can do with an at-home inkjet printer for designs under 8inches wide, as long as you stick a piece of stabilizer on the back of your fabric and cut it down to printer sheet size--this is what I do and can make another post about that process if people want haha), or if you are printing onto transfer paper like you can buy at craft stores.

This is where I end the lineart for my designs. After I have this, I move on to the next phase, which is...

STEP 2: COLOR

For interpreting my designs into thread, I start by thinking of it as flat colors first. You can't "shade" as easily with threads as you can with things like paint or brushes in digital art (though you can A Little, which I will get into), so to start color planning I pick the "main" color each section will be in the piece.

For the existing icons this was simple--I kept the same sections as the original designs, so for each I just color picked or eyeballed the color in photoshop and colored it in (but you could do this on paper with pencils, markers, whatever as well--they don't need to match your threads exactly and usually won't, it's just to give you an easy reference to follow as you go). For the tarot cards which were more complicated in coloration, I just did my best and went with what looked good next to each other, even if it was a little off the original art. It will be off more later anyway when you have to pick threads so don't stress it too much honestly. I will often make layers with different color options and turn them on/off for direct comparison to try to determine what I think looks best as well, like below where I was debating between more blue/desaturated for the background or brighter colors.

I do wanna note I have regrets about the color selection, shapes, or shading in EVERY SINGLE ONE of my finished pieces. But no one else ever comments or probably even notices! One aspect of this hobby is just learning to be satisfied with what you've made and using what you learned to get closer to your preferences next time. I'm only going back and redoing some of my designs' colors because I want to make it easier for others to choose on the patterns I sell, more than I care for just for myself. Also since I'm doing this lineart/stained glass looking approach where I go over the distinct shapes with black thread at the end, it means I get these clear delineations between sections you might not necessarily have in your own pieces, and that's ok.

Ok right. Now while shading/coloring in detail is hard with thread, you CAN make whats essentially dithered gradients. "Dithering" in the concept of art means using 2 (or more) colors to give the impression of a third color, or to gently scale between the existing binary rather than a hard line. Think of it like blocky pixel art or gameboy game images. If you're doing needlepainting, you use really small stitches close together to get this effect, which translates to "smaller pixes"--if you look at the jellyfish in my first photos that's a very messy casual version of that. If you want a better example, I recommend looking at @ammocharis 's pieces like these in her pinned post, which are truly amazing! I simply do not have the patience myself 😂 For my stained glass style, I work only in very long straight stitches, so I can only shade in one direction and have to be a little more precise with it.

So for shading, I think about in each section which direction my threads might go. Then perpendicular to that direction I pick which side will be the light one and which the darker one. Sometimes I color this in on my pattern mockup, but sometimes I don't! Or I'll only do it for certain sections to make sure I don't forget. Like for my Tower design I only colored it as flats, and waited until I selected threads to decide how the shading would go. I am currently working on a smaller, simplified version of my Hierophant design and I did add shading digitally for that one just for fun. But it's not as important as having the flat color version you can use to quick-reference how you want your design to go while you're stitching. You might also notice I don't actually color my gold--I just throw in a stock image of gold foil for that layer so I can't confuse it with any of my yellow thread sections.

Here's a close up where you can kind of see what I mean by the "dithered" effect between colors--some are more obvious (like the red on the far left or middle orange) and others pretty subtle (dark grey to dark red on the wolf face):

Now, while I use single layers of satin stitches for this, and just alternate thread colors increasing/decreasing as I go, you can accomplish the same thing with short overlapping stitches like with needlepainting, or with clusters of french knots, or whatever else. But in GENERAL you are going to be able to trick people into seeing gradients out of dithering best when you are using the same type of stitch for that whole area. So if I was using multiple stitch types like having french knots, daisy chains, ladder stitching or whatever else for some sections, I would keep those to contrasting areas/colors. A fantastic example of using different layered types of stitching to create more intricate color/texture in an embroidery would be these incredible tarot card depictions by @hattedhedgehog, which I like even better than my own embroideries. Here's his take on the Tower card as well for comparison to mine (I'm so in love with it!!!).

But anyway, at this phase, your design is actually still digital--the above is just to explain how it translates later in the process. The next step is...

STEP 3: THREAD SELECTION

I will admit here I am not great at this part. I am constantly second guessing my thread colors, and can spend over an entire hour in the thread aisle at the craft store agonizing over choices. Really, I think this is just one of those things that takes practice and you get better at it over time. What I have had the best luck with is actually printing out a reference photo of my design/the original artwork and taking it with me. If you already have threads you can do this part at home too, but DMC alone has over 500 colors and I definitely don't even own half that so I like to torture myself by looking at them all together on the thread racks. Plus Anchor and Artiste and whatever other brands there are out there. One approach is to just sit there and pick out what you want for each section and line it all up together on top of your printout. Or in the case of my Tower I laid a bunch of options out on top of my template in the hoop to guess how they'd look in the frame.

For me since I am also doing this dither shading thing, I also need 2-3 colors per sections depending on its size. Sometimes it's easy and the threads have a color just a little darker or lighter right next to them in the numerical lineup! Other times, there is no good match, or it looks too far away to shade nicely, or I want one to be a warmer or cooler tone than the other... which means a lot of standing and fretting to myself over it. I actually take a lot of photos at this stage because it can be easier to see how they will look in the end from a photo than in person to me? Idk why. Plus then after they get scrambled in my bag I remember wtf order I meant for them to go in later. But as long as you're not preventing other customers from shopping themselves, you can spend as long as you want staring at thread in the embroidery aisle and they won't kick you out unless it's closing time, so take your time.

Now, IN THEORY, you can sort of combine steps 2 and 3 by color-selecting from your threads and using that to color in the design. However I have tried this and it led to mixed success because the photoshop eyedropper brush simply isn't actually that exact (in my experience, it desaturates compared to what we actually see). And because then you have to have the threads on hand while you're coloring... which means you might buy ones you don't end up using if you don't like them. So I prefer to just use this as a refinement step where I pick threads based on the design colors, then will re-color the design a second time to match those threads more closely to be sure I like the effect.

I've even used this as a tool when I needed to adjust my color choices mid-project, by digitally coloring over over my WIP:

Or here's a design (but I haven't posted the finished piece yet bc it's a gift so shhh) I made with certain color tones initially, but after buying thread I re-did the color mockup to be more vibrant, because I liked those threads better in the store:

Once you have your thread, you can make yourself a little reference chart with the colors you intend noted on the sections you want them, like below:

(note: i didn't end up sticking to these colors because I ended up dying my own thread for several sections. And then forgot I made this entirely and picked new ones because I put the project down for a year between design and stitching. Sigh).

Or for my Solas pattern I did this in a really detailed way, which i am sorry but i have redacted because... i have it for sale now and don't wanna just give that away haha. But if you buy the pattern from my shop this is one of the files you'd get with it, for ease of reference. I do also include a text-only list of them as well.

Now I don't go to this much trouble for all my designs, just the ones I put up for sale (or plan to). You can also just make a text list of your color plans if you want. Though for fun I also have been using my scrap thread to make these little "color palette" keyrings for my finished pieces, so if I ever remake them or update their patterns I will know what the original colors were, plus I can compare what i used to other threads if I wanna change part of the design up. This step is absolutely not necessary and I'm just doing it because I'm selling the patterns now, but they are kinda fun to look at.

And don't forget.. if you start a section in a certain color and decide you don't like it, you can just cut the threads and pull them out! I did that with my original hierophant piece actually. I had an entirely different color for one row of diamonds i thought just clashed way too much with the others, so I used photoshop to paint over it with some alternate options until I found one I liked better. Then I cut away all the old threads and put in the new color. It can be a little harder to fill a piece the second time since the fabric will have stretched out a little, but as long as you're using a good stabilizer it usually doesn't move too much.

You can also just make test swatches on spare fabric to test before you add them to your real piece. I wish I'd done this for some color transitions that didn't end up looking the way I wanted, but I am simply too lazy most of the time. My exception is usually for metallic, satin, or sparkly threads, because I want to know how they feel while embroidering. But if you're really worried about a certain color or shade it's a good thing to remember you can just do.

SO yep, that's my general process for drafting patterns. I start with the shapes/design, then do my flat color version, then I pick my threads. Makes it sound easy and short when phrased like that :) But I can honestly spend 8-10 hours just on making the lineart and coloring it in. If I was better at art, probably this would be less, but I'm working with what I've got (not much) 😂 I think all aspects of this are also something that gets easier over time, but it will probably never look as bad as you worry when you start out. I think all my pieces look awkward and rough right up until I do the finishing steps and move them to the display frame sometimes.

I hope this was helpful and answered your questions!! Feel free to post/share your WIPs to ask for feedback or advice ever too :) I've only ever had people in the embroidery community on tumblr be encouraging and helpful to me, and I'm happy to answer any questions myself when I can or if parts of this were confusing

[jojo-oliver]

How to tumblr for artists… my own version

A collection of things that have been working for me, but may not work for everyone

~~~ your posts ~~~

!!!reblog your own stuff!!! you need to reblog your own stuff, there is nothing morally wrong with reblogging your own stuff regularly. in fact, it is morally right to allow the chance for more people to see your artwork.

~~~ queue it!! ~~~ my queue is 500 posts strong. maybe don't try to make your queue hundreds of posts strong in the same day omg but like… once every month or two i'll go through my whole blog and just scroll and "add to drafts" to every one of my own posts i have. then i'll use the "mass post editor" to add content warning tags. and add to queue, and shuffle. and then I write down what the date was for when I last added my posts to be reblogged on queue. this is helped by turning on timestamps for posts in tumblr "dashboard preferences" settings.

queueing is necessary and life saving for me. It takes out so much work with decision fatigue and the anxiety around posting. It also guarantees that even if I suddenly need time off or away from my phone, I don't just disappear and lose all traction. It also breaks the instant-gratification cycle that you expect when you finish an artwork. It's hard to keep creating when you post something and, when you're expecting to get that gratification, you get none... If you queue your new artwork to come out at a later time, you've separated that expectation - with time. It hurts less and contributes to a more consistent gratification thing instead of peaks and troughs.

~~~ tag ya stuff ~~~ when you're making a new post, the first 20 tags are what gets put into the searchable tags. do not feel shame for using lots of tags. shame is the mind-killer. tags are hard. hard to know what to tag a post with. hard to remember the tags. so I found some ways to help myself. maybe they'll help you too. dedicate some time towards just figuring out what tags you want to use. i have a list in my phone notes that i add tags to and reference whenever i'm making a new post. i have the phone right beside the laptop while i'm tagging so that i can just look at it and scroll. tags are the only way for people to find your artwork, other than people manually coming to your blog because they saw you somewhere. there is no algorithm. posting without tags, until you have an established fanbase, is throwing something into the void.

When I'm doing tag research, I look at what people seem to use - when you put something in the search bar, tumblr recommends you some that have a higher following, typically. Looks like this on desktop:

if you like one tag, look at what other people who use that tag also tag their posts with. Observe and learn how this tag is used. search through a bunch of them and write them down.

here's what i got in my notes, for the specific kind of art I post and look for:

these tags are sort of specific to me and the kind of art I make. You'll want to research your own tags, but this is an example of how I keep them organized to make posting more effective. I generally only write down a tag when it's got more than 2k followers. You might be tempted to use the tags with millions of followers, but I've actually found those a lot less functional for small artists. If your stuff doesn't immediately get a bunch of notifications, you're drowned out and pushed to the bottom much faster. But the bigger tags are better than no tags, so I keep them if I can't think of anything else to tag something with.

~~~ post at the right times….? ~~~

fridays and saturdays is when I post fresh new things... usually. every website has it's own peak hours, and you can find those hours in many different online articles that try to sell you social media growth services. tumblr is unique in having later hours.

here's some random graph from google images:

please don't over think this. please don't let this consume the idea of when to post, preventing you from posting at all. it doesn't mean too much - if you post during very active hours, maybe your art would just be pushed down the feed faster. if you post at the end of hours, maybe everyone's going to sleep… if you post at inactive hours, maybe there's less 'competition'… if you post at the beginning of active hours, maybe that's just more time for your post to circulate for the day, if you have enough people reblogging it once it drops....

this also is in EST. So fuck the other time zones, I guess. I'm over here in europe knowing that the "best" time to post would be like 2-3am or something. It's like this for most english-speaking majority sites - higher traffic in north american time zones.

it's also worth mentioning that this is scattered as heck, compared to other social media sites. and it's not like, the activity times of your followers. it's not the best time to post for your niche. this is just tumblr, broadly. all of tumblr.

~~~ Plan ahead for annual dates ~~~

Your artwork will get more circulation if it's posted on a celebratory day. You could just put them on your calendar and if you're wondering what to make, look on the calendar for what's coming soon. For example, asexual awareness day, trans day of visibility, location-specific holidays, etc. Here's my phone notes thing with my own recorded annuals:

I got these dates from googling and reading different articles, but I find that I still miss dates, and then I add them for next year. If you know of some I missed, tell me and I'll add them please <3

~~~ reblog other people's stuff ~~~

tumblr is sorta about ecosystems. things get passed around within groups of people that are all following eachother. to enter this ecosystem, you must engage and reblog other people's stuff too.

if you reblog other artists' stuff, sometimes they'll come over and reblog your stuff too. sometimes they'll follow you back. this is called becoming a mutual. I'll search specific tags for the kinds of people I want to follow and the kind of art I like - those are listed in the screenshot of my tag note under "Tags for finding new people".

I see a lot of blogs out there that are very clean, posts are tagless, and are only for the artists' content. like scrolling through a portfolio. I imagine this is good for people who are migrating to tumblr but already have their own established fanbase from elsewhere.

you don't need to do reblog other people's stuff on your art blog, you can do this on a separate blog. but if the two don't look very closely correlated, it's hard to tell who you are when you're interacting. and hard to make sure people know that you are the same person as your art blog. and you gotta remember to promote yourself on your personal blog.

~~~ have an art tag ~~~

make your blog easy to search!

if i go to your blog, and you've written 'artist' or 'sometimes art' in your bio, i wanna see it… it make me so sad when i don't get to see it. i want to reblog it. please let me reblog it :(

to make a tag on your own blog searchable, you don't need to repost it to add a tag. you don't even need to reblog it. you can actually just go back to the original post and edit it to add your tag. I've seen post people just have their art tag be something like #(blogname)art . you can see my own in my tags image above. if it's very unique, then it'll work tumblr-wide. I think that's good, since the tumblr search function is really weird. Otherwise it should still work if it's not entirely unique, people just have to make sure they're searching specifically your blog to see only your stuff.

I like to have a link in my pinned post where people can click to have immediately searched for my art tag. Convenience is king. Keep in mind that most people are on mobile, and if something isn't immediately clickable, they often won't find it.

~~~ be consistent and be patient ~~~

!!!this time will pass anyway!!! how many notes you have is not correlated with how good you are as an artist. wanting to earn something from your art means you essentially have two jobs. two potentially full time jobs. this shit's difficult. most of the job is promoting yourself. don't undersell how hard it is to do… don't feel bad for not immediately succeeding. I would write about how hard it's been to promote myself, but it would just be long and sad I think.

This isn't a full guide, please feel free to add more!!

I'm sure in another year I'll disagree with a lot of this, it will become irrelevant with time, and I'll have a lot of different opinions. Chip in and share what you've been doing? Teach me? This is very overwhelming. Don't do it all at once, just like, try one thing at a time, and see how it works for you. Your niche might be different. One size does not fit all. If you're confused about some of the things I talk about in here, you might be on mobile. I do most of my queueing and posting from the desktop browser version.

I will update this with more as things change, but I think you'll have to click through to see the updated post

[yuriyuruandyuraart]

Hi? Gosh how do I even start with this :'D

I know it's been ages since I've last popped up on here. I've been debating when to post this for a while, but I kept adding to my draft more and more and now it's the end of JULY omgg I felt so guilty disappearing with zero updates but then thought my birthday would be the best day to finally address this considering it'll feel less random? idk but Ive always celebrated my bday with you guys and I'd feel so bad answering your kind asks without me at least explaining why I was gone for months.

Truth be told, I was dealing with a lot of stuff irl. health issues and sudden declining grades that left me stumped and drained for months now- along with technical issues like having to replace some parts of my computer that took a while for me to find to even draw digitally, which I didn't have the time for anyway with how tired and weary I felt every day.

I'm frankly shaken up by a lot of shit rn and I don't know how to be active online with this burden on my chest- Especially as it's been a while since I've even looked at utmv related content and my motivation dwindled. I swear I'd hype myself up to post or reblog something- but I'd see just how much I've missed or the overwhelming amount of posts I'd need to go through and I'd feel so swamped with exhaustion and most importantly guilt, for not clearing the air up sooner to reassure you guys that I'm, y'know, alive, and not dead in a ditch somewhere. And I'd procrastinate cause typing it all out is hard and I'd give up halfway every time and it's just not fair to you all!

I thought I was handling it well when I started going out and socializing more, instead of staying cooped up at home on my computer all day. and in the first draft of this post I made months ago I was gonna detail some of the fun plans I had, for my life and for this blog :D but relaxing my strict study schedule and letting go a bit of my tight routine, thinking it was better than wringing myself dry to keep it up, backfired horribly, to say the least.

I know right?? so silly to be hung up on stupid shit like studies of all things! but this is a very important thing for me considering my career plans and the competitivity encouraged by everyone I'm surrounded by, the pressure of keeping up adding to my already stressful days. I had to fix myself up first and I couldn't handle the strain nor interact with people and thinking of jobs and exams sapped my energy so much it's frankly embarrassing. writing this feels so cheesy too and it frustrates me to know I could've come back a month earlier if it weren't for that, but I also know putting all of this into words then would just sound like incoherent venting (not that this is very different tbf) and I wasn't in the right headspace to address my absence, or anything really- I didn't want everyone to see me return when I couldn't muster up a genuinely positive message, let alone talk to anyone with a shadow of my usual cheer

I feel like a complete mess and It drives me up the wall how depressed I've gotten. I debated deleting this blog so many times 'cause the fear of disappointing my audience and my friends, for lack of a more fitting sentiment, made me feel even shittier. I'm constantly thinking if this wall of text is worth posting, or if it's better not to burden you all with all my sappy troubles as if it's the end of the world. Trust me, I'll be fine. I'm not trying to dramatize this situation, but I don't think I'm up to pretending I'm all sunshine and enthusiasm you're all accustomed to.

So sorry for worrying you all! I'll try to catch up, deliver some missed birthday gifts, and answer some asks while I'm at it! Again, I can't state how much I appreciate your support throughout the years. It's frankly a miracle I kept any of you around with how much I keep popping and leaving at random with no warning. I definitely can't promise for my stay to be without a hitch, and if you don't mind an inconsistent schedule you're free to stay of course, but I'm afraid I can't sustain the pace I had when I first started this blog. I'll keep posting art, but lower my activity in the fandom sphere to reduce the strain on my mental health. so fewer rants and walls of text, more art, and less stress overall. Love you all and thanks for waiting for this long <3

[puckpocketed]

Sharks 2024 11OA draft pick Sam Dickinson got featured in NHL.com’s CHL roundup. I’m putting it here for archival purposes <3 if you have a minute, please enjoy reading about Dickie bullying the shit outta children in the OHL during his D+1 year!!

Published December 1st, 2024 (link) CHL notebook: Sharks like what they see in London defenseman Dickinson, by Adam Kimelman.

No. 11 pick in 2024 NHL Draft 'just wants to be the best that he can be'

photo credit: Wild Ave. Photography

Sam Dickinson certainly had a solid season in 2023-24, finishing fourth among OHL defensemen in scoring and helping London reach the Memorial Cup championship game.

But he also had to deal with the pressure every player feels in his NHL draft season. But those feelings were alleviated when the San Jose Sharks selected him with the No. 11 pick in the 2024 NHL Draft.

A more relaxed Dickerson has his focus solely on playing, and the result has been a dominant start to the season.

Dickinson leads OHL defensemen in goals (13), assists (27) and points (40) in 23 games. He's tied for third in the league in scoring among all players, and is tied for the OHL lead with eight power-play goals.

"It's obviously a little bit of a different season, maybe a little more relaxed not having to worry about some of those [draft-related] things," Dickinson said. "But for me, it's always just been about focusing on hockey and kind of not really trying to let the outside noise and the outside stuff kind of get into my head.

"So I think that's been a big focus for this year, leaving the outside stuff for a different time, not worrying about it, especially when I'm showing up to the rink for practices, for games, whatever it may be. Just kind of leaving the outside noise, focusing on myself and on the team, and just kind of worrying about hockey and the London Knights and how I can help the team win as many games as possible."

Dickinson has done most of that with his offensive ability. He had 30 points (eight goals, 22 assists) during a 13-game point streak that ended Nov. 24. He has at least a point in 20 games, including a six-point game (one goal, five assists) in a 6-5 win at Saginaw on Nov. 23; it was the first six-point game by a defensemen since Pavel Mintyukov for Saginaw on March 11, 2022.

It also was one of Dickinson's 10 multipoint games, and he has two hat tricks.

But more than the offense, the Sharks have been impressed by other details in Dickinson's game.

"Obviously you want players to put up numbers and be successful," San Jose director of player development Todd Marchant said, "but it's some of the little things that we've been working on with Sam, with going back for pucks, on retrievals, shoulder checking and those sorts of things that you really need to have if you want to play in the National Hockey League."

Marchant and the Sharks development staff were able to but a plan in place for Dickinson earlier than other prospects because they were able to watch him last season.

"In a player development role you don't get a chance to see the players a lot usually in their draft year, but we did because we had another player in London in [forward] Kasper Halttunen," Marchant said. "So when he was available to us at No. 11, we were ecstatic. We were very, very happy."

Dickinson is just as happy to be part of what San Jose is building with a young core that includes forwards Macklin Celebrini, the No. 1 pick of the 2024 draft, and Will Smith, the No. 4 pick of the 2023 NHL Draft. He got a preview during training camp, when he got into two preseason games, and is hungry to do what it takes to get even more as soon as next season.

"Getting in those preseason games and all that, it was an unbelievable experience, and kind of gave you a bit of a realization of really how close I could be to potentially playing in San Jose and in the NHL real soon," Dickinson said. "I think the big thing for me when I was getting in those games was taking everything in, seeing the speed, the strength, the physicality, how fast the game is played at that level. It was huge for me to kind of play at that speed and play at that level. A big thing for me was when I came back [to London] was continuing to play at the speed and at the level that was played in those preseason games."

The Sharks have seen that and more from Dickinson and are just as excited about his future.

"The National Hockey League has the best players in the world, and that's something that every young player strives to get to," Marchant said. "Sam is no different. You look at some of the things that he's able to do, both from an offensive standpoint and a defensive standpoint ... he's one of those guys that just wants to be the best that he can be every single night. And we're seeing that firsthand."

[did-i-do-this-write]

Village Map

In my original post I leaned heavy into the metaphor and I saw more than one person in the tags mention that they didn't understand how to participate. So here is a plain language guide in how to navigate and use the different locations for the event!

The Coffee Shop

If you're in the coffee shop, it just means you're looking to strike up a conversation! Make a post to announce what kind of interaction you're looking for! Could be asks, DMs, specific topics or open discussions through reblogs. You can pose a question or just welcome people to start conversations with you. Maybe you're looking to join a discord or make new friends. Just let us know!

The Library

If you're here, you're looking for information and inspiration. Post about what books you're reading or what inspires you. If you need advice or help with research, put out a call to your fellow writers. If you don't need help, just announce what you're working on and give us updates!

The Gym

If you're here, it means you're really working hard on your WIP. Maybe you're doing a run of 15 minute sprints, or taking on a huge word count like writing 1k+ in one sitting. Make a post about what challenge you're taking on and keep us updated so we can cheer you on and join you in the grind!

The Bakery

If you're here, it means you're working on your WIP more casually. You're taking your time, sticking with a regular routine, or writing short ficlets and drabbles. Post about your regular updates and progress, and share snippets and teasers as you see fit!

The Arcade

If you're here, you're just looking to play writeblr games. Make a post announcing you're ready to play and choose your game! You can start your own tags, reblog a bunch of ask games, answer old tags you haven't had a chance to look at, whatever games you want! Don't forget to reply and send something back to anyone who plays with you!

The Spa

If you're here, you're taking a break from writing for a bit. Make a post sharing as much detail as you want, update us on what self care activities you're doing and/or usually do. If you're burnt out, feel free to ask for advice on how to handle it!

The Archive

If you're here, you're looking through your own ideas for inspiration. You're reviewing outlines, re-reading old drafts, looking through old scraps of handwritten notes that aren't even accurate anymore. Post about what you're looking through and how it's helping (or not helping lol).

The Garden

If you're here, you're thinking about your WIP without working on the draft. You’re daydreaming and plotting, creating aesthetics and playlists, keeping your WIP in your mind without writing. Post about your ideas and share your aesthetics, playlists, and extras!

The Lab

If you're here, you're working more on characters and worldbuilding, not so much plot. You're making character sheets and maps and building governments and backstories. Post about your characters and world, share your maps and designs, and help us get to know them!

Things to Remember

If you're comfortable with it, you can always tag me in posts for the village! I'll keep everything on my blog for others to see.

Your post doesn't have to be fancy or detailed! It can be as simple as announcing which area you're in and how well (or not well) it's going.

You can be in multiple places at once or throughout the day! The village is just a fun visual and metaphor, but it doesn't have to limit you. You might drift from the Archive (reviewing old stuff) to the Bakery (drafting new stuff) to the Garden (daydreaming for next time) in under an hour! Keep us updated on your journey!

If you guys have any questions, just reach out! If my ask box is open, shoot me an ask. If it's closed, feel free to reblog or reply to this post or shoot me a DM! I'm always taking recommendations for locations and ways to make the village better!

The main purpose of the event is just to build and circulate the writeblr community. However you want to share your ideas and engage with others is all part of the village!

Happy writing, everyone!

[soaps-mohawk]

Hii! I love your COD fic so much. I’m just beginning my own writing journey, and was wondering if you wouldn’t mind sharing what your outlining/writing process is like? ^^

Hi!! Hello!! Thank you!!! 💚 Aww, best of luck on your journey!! Writing is so hard but it can be so fulfilling at the same time!!

Hehe yeah, so I don't usually really do outlines for fics. I just kind of get a general idea of what I want to happen, and in the case of fics that follow plotlines of shows directly how the character/reader is going to fit into those events, and then just start writing what comes to me when it comes to me 😅 that's led to some fics getting quite out of hand, though, in the past.

I think CRCB is the first fic I've actually like physically laid things out as far as chapters and what I want to happen in them (which has changed about 10 times since I started around chapter 3). So yeah, I just kind of lay out how many chapters and what I want to happen in each chapter. I don't come up with everything that happens in the chapter right away. More filler type stuff I kind of just write as I go depending on what fits the vibe of the chapter. Sometimes things change a lot, and that's okay. My original outline had like 25 chapters and then the fic would be done and, well, as you can see we're nowhere near that now lol.

As far as the writing process, I just kind of take the outline and lay out what's going to happen in the chapter by section and then start writing. Sometimes I start at the beginning of the chapter and sometimes I start in the middle. Quite a few I've written the last scene first and then just kind of jumped around as inspiration came. I've found that's helped a lot with writer's block and motivation, as I can just kind of go where the words are flowing in the chapter and not have to worry about getting a certain section done before I write the next.

I also do a first draft where I can just lay out a basic description of something that happens if I get stuck and move on. If the words aren't flowing, drop a quick little summary of what happens in that scene and then move on and come back to it when you edit. Sometimes the first draft is just a super basic walk through of what happens and then I go back a second time and add in all the fluff and details. That can be really good if you're going to write smut scenes. Just get down the basics and then go through and add everything else later. Same with dialogue. Just write the lines and then go back and add in details, other things happening in the scene.

Your first draft does NOT have to be the final product. Sometimes it is. Sometimes the words are flowing and you can put out a masterpiece with just some light editing needed. Sometimes it takes two or three tries before you're happy with it. That happens to me a lot. Some chapters are basically first drafts with a little grammar/syntax editing. Others (like chapter 10) I wrote up, sat on it for two days, read it through and was unhappy with it, so I went back and added in like over 1,000 words of fluff and details.

So yeah. Take your time, sleep on things if you're not happy with them, don't be afraid to change things and jump around while you're writing. I know a lot of writers struggle with wanting to be linear in their writing and write a fic or chapter start to finish. You don't have to. Jumping around while writing has saved me so much stress.

I hope this helps, and best of luck with your writing. The best way to get good at it and figure out what works for you is just to write. Practice, practice, practice. It's taken me well over a decade to get to this point where I've figured out what works best for me and I'm still learning to this day.

[hermitknut]

20 Questions for Fic Writers Tag Game

@birdylion tagged me :D

1. how many works do you have on AO3?

56.

2. what’s your total AO3 word count?

440,219

3. what fandoms do you write for?

There've been quite a few over the years. Currently Goblin Emperor (slightly on the back burner while I unkink my writer's block) and Hands of the Emperor (just started dabbling, nothing posted yet). Before that Merlin, Green Rider, Realm of the Elderlings, Doctor Who, and Harry Potter predominantly, with little dips into Discworld, Sherlock, Sweep, Supernatural, Percy Jackson, Lady Trent, Life on Mars, Old Kingdom, Life on Mars, and MASH. I have some Narnia stuff kicking about in my drafts somewhere, and while I've never posted it I've been writing Animorphs fanfic for years.

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

The Stairs Beneath the Heart: Goblin Emperor, a series of vignettes that runs parallel to the canon that I posted through the start of the pandemic and really enjoyed. It was the first time in ages I'd had a regular posting schedule, and the first time ever I'd had that much fandom attention on something I was writing - everyone was so lovely <3.

Take These Tower Stones: Goblin Emperor, the sequel to the above, a much more coherent and consistent story which everyone was again really supportive of <3

What Friends Are For: Discworld; Angua gives Vetinari the shovel talk. There's a big disparity in the stats between the previous two fics and the rest, so these last three were a surprise to me! I'm glad people liked them though :)

Fire in the Night: Merlin, somewhat angsty nightmare/comfort oneshot. Again, surprised to see this one so near the top, but pleasantly so.

The Michen Emperor: Goblin Emperor again, currently the bane of my existence because I can't seem to finish it (I will eventually, just need to unstick my brain). Really appreciate all the love people have shown it. Basically, what if canon but with smol!Maia.

7. what’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably either Take These Towers Stones, or Red Sky (which is a tiny little snippet of fluff).

8. do you get hate on fics?

I've had a few shitty comments, and mostly I've just deleted them. I've never had any extended hate campaigns or anything, just people who mistakenly thought their dislike was worth expressing.

9. do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Occasionally; usually though not always queer, normally pretty tame. I read smut usually without worrying about the warnings, but I'm a bit too shy to comment on it, and I think that extends to my writing, haha. Maybe I'll get the hang of it some day :)

10. do you write crossovers?

Nah, for some reason they don't work for me at all - almost a squick, I don't read them either. The closest I got was considering a fic where the characters from Green Rider had diplomatic contact with the characters from the Chronicles of Ixia series, but I never ended up getting there.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don't think so - I should probably put in my Ao3 that people are welcome to if they like, I keep forgetting. I'd be honoured if anyone wanted to.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope; I'm very picky and not good at compromise, though it's something I'd like to work on one day. It'd have to be very low stakes and with someone very patient!

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

Lines of Silver and Gold (Realm of the Elderlings) is probably my oldest fic that is both posted and unfinished, and I have no current plans to work on it. I'm hoping that one day I'll be able to come back to it, but that book series was my thesis topic and unfortunately I rather burnt myself out on it, so it might be a long while.

The Queen Rider series was originally going to have two more fics, but those have been scrapped; fortunately it resolves quite nicely as is. Maybe I will put up a little misc fic with what I do have of the rest some day.

And on a more positive note, my Animorphs fic - it was originaly going to be a full written-through story spanning a considerable post-canon period, but unfortunately I lost the original in a harddrive failure and while I rewrote some of it I rather lost my enthusiasm for it. However, I have been reconsidering lately and might post what exists as a series of loosely connected vignettes; we'll see.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue is what I find easy and what I've received the most compliments on; I think this is because a lot of my fic is drafted "out loud" before I get anywhere near setting it to page, so the first iteration is often predominantly speech. I'm also often told I'm good at mimicking the tone of the canon, if I'm writing for a book fandom.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Research (I'll do it if it's something that will otherwise potentially hurt people, but other than that I have neither the effort nor the inclination), and making things messy - that is, I tend to tidy things up a lot and I'm not good at letting my characters get things wrong/communicate badly/etc. Good for fix-its, less good for creating challenges in the story.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I am depressingly monolingual so I don't do it in my fics; as to what everyone else does I think they should have fun and do whatever they like, I suppose. Not enough knowledge to have more of an opinion than that.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter was my gateway fandom.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Ohhhh tough one. I'm immensely proud of the Keystone series (The Stairs Beneath the Heart and Take These Tower Stones), so they're solid candidates, but I also really like The Shadow of the Mountains (Lady Trent) and Miracles (Realm of the Elderlings), the latter of which contains possibly my favourite line of prose I've written.

I'm tagging @the-tao-of-fandom, @pipuhattar, @alittlefellowinawideworld, @nonasuch, and anyone else who'd like to answer!

[caxycreations]

Who is Caxy Creations?

This will be broken into the following sections:

About Me Other Blogs This Blog's Purpose Tylvinian Tales Resources Commissions Other Ways to Support Me

It gets a little wordy, so the actual introduction post stuff is below the cut.

About Me

Caxy Creations, simply put, is my brand. So to really explain who Caxy Creations is, let's cover who I am.

My name is Davina. I also answer to: David, Caxy, or "Hey bitch~!" (/pos)

Some quick facts about me:

Labels are weird to me, transgender/genderfluid/agender and other things like that just...idk, they don't fit. I answer to she/her most comfortably, but I don't feel inherently she/her or he/him or they/them or anything else. I'm just...Me. So call me whatever pronouns you want, I'm a little of everything.

I'm an artist AND a writer, but far more a writer than an artist.

I stream on Twitch whenever I can, and whenever I have excuse/reason to. Can find my Twitch by clicking HERE.

I absolutely adore interaction of all kinds, but reciprocal interaction is my favorite: if you comment or ask a question, I absolutely will answer because I adore conversation.

I am single, and not looking for a relationship. This does not mean I won't flirt with you, especially if you're down to flirt back for the fun of it and understand it won't go any further.

I'm a system. Alters have their own blogs @kittycaxcare and @guardiangreatwolf

I am the sole developer of the upcoming visual novel, "Another Tylvinian Tale", a story about settling into a new life, making connections with those around you, and the impact those connections have on each other.

Other Blogs

@caxygaming (Video Game Review, Discussion, and Gaming News, with reader interaction heavily encouraged)

@caxyadrp (18+ RP account, Minors DNI)

@caxycreationsvrc (VRChat Photography and Videography account)

@yappincaxy (Voice Acting blog)

@caxyanalysis (Nerd snipe blog, analyzing theories, power scaling, hypotheticals, etc of real world and fictional topics/concepts)

@lewdcaxycatalogue - (Fully NSFW 18+ writing/musings account, Minors and antis DNI, teratophilia and a safe space for sex positivity)

@classpectingcaxy (homestuck fanblog where I analyze and assign classes, aspects, and lunar sways)

@thebrokenrubber (Another 18+ RP account with a unique system)

@lustycaisupervised (an 18+ Lackadaisy-based Mordecai RP blog)

This Blog's Purpose

This blog is going to serve as two things: a compendium of all knowledge relating to Relan, a planet of my own design with its own history, religions, sciences, magics, and more, as well as a collection of stories about the people living on Relan. Some quick things to cover about Relan, for those interested:

I am 100% okay with OCs. If someone likes my world enough to make a character to throw into it, that is, to me, the ultimate compliment.

If you need/want help integrating your OCs into Relan, I am absolutely down to help with all the resources I have on the world.

Don't know if a species exists on Relan? Well, every single animal species on Earth exists on Relan, and every mythical being exists as well in some form or another, there's even a few internet-designed species and some entirely original species of my own design! So have fun with it!

Relan is a fantasy world. Ancient times have high fantasy themes and forms, modern times have modern fantasy themes and forms, and future eras have a distinctly science-fiction feel with a hint of magic to them. As such, my stories will usually have these themes and/or forms!

Tylvinian Tales Resources

My WIPs List

(Note, titles and order are subject to change, but position/order is solidified for active WIPs/finished books)

Tylvinian Tales

The Wolf's Den (Active WIP, First Draft Complete, Current Stage: Editing)

Five Fates

Snakepit

King of Kings

Veiled Intent

Clashing Tides

Event Horizon

Panacea

Another Tylvinian Tale

This is my visual novel, where you will be able to create your own character and take your place in Tylvin, the capital city of the nation of Ferus.

You will work as a bartender at the city's most popular nightclub, The Snakepit, putting you at the central hub of many different events. Meet the cast of Tylvinian Tales, and a few fresh faces as well, and develop friendships, or loves, as you see fit.

But know this: every decision you make will change the story, and every choice will have consequences for more than just your own life...

If you would like to support me in making the visual novel, head to the Ko-Fi or PayPal link below (or send to the listed cashapp) in the "Other Ways to Support Me" section and send a donation! Your support allows me to focus full-time on the visual novel, bringing it ever-closer to releasing for all to enjoy!

Galan Nights

The Pack

Hoping for Haven

Runner's High

Twin Tales

The Fifth Fate

Here Be A Home

Lore of Gold

Sanguis Auri (Next WIP)

Corpus Auri

Anima Auri

Character Cast

These characters are the most prominent in my stories, and I've linked to their introductory posts for easy access to information about them:

David Seltz

Moss Seltz

Davina Seltz

Trace Parker

Ryder Trayson

Luka Mikaelson

Olivia Bo

Kaleb Killian

Devon Masters

Zephyr

Tylvinian Tales: The Wolf's Den, Book Pitch

Tylvinian Tales: The Wolf's Den, Chapter Master Post

Full list of all my WIPS - The titles of every single book planned within the world of Relan.

Tylvinian Tales on Wattpad

Tylvinian Tales on AO3

Short Stories on Wattpad

Short Stories on AO3

Smut stories on Wattpad (18+ only!!!!)

Smut stories on AO3 (18+ only!!!!)

Worldbuilding Masterpost - A post with links to every worldbuilding piece I've uploaded so far.

How You Can Support Me - A post detailing ways to help me make a life for myself and avoid financial issues.

I also do VRChat Avatar commissions, click to be taken to my Trello.

Commissions

I also do writing commissions!

$40 for 1,000 words

$70 for 2,000 words

$122 for 4,000 words

$213 for 8,000 words

$372 for 16,000 words

$651 for 32,000 words

+5% for NSFW

+10% for extreme gore

Under 1,000 words is $0.03 per word.

Other Ways to Support Me

You can also support me on:

Twitch Ko-Fi Patreon Youtube Spring Merch PayPal Or through direct tips via CashApp at cashtag $Aazoth

With that out of the way I think this blog intro is long enough, ha. So...hang out, enjoy the blog, feel free to chat with me or comment on my posts, and I hope you have a wonderful day/night/whatever it is in your part of the world! <3

Some other wonderful blogs to check out are in the tag list below!

Tag List

@theathenverse @moremysteriesthantragedies @thetruearchmagos @a-scaly-troublemaker @that-one-enby-onyx @snakelovingnerd @eldritchx @leisoree @amerylise @profoundlyhauntedclaws @thefinalgoat @leisurelywingedlemon

Userboxes by @lackauserboxes <3/p

[jolienjoyswriting]

Purrsuing Pawsibilities (ft. Nane Mau), Ch. I

Chapter 1 of 5 for "Purrsuing Pawsibilities," a Bellville High an I Was a Teenage Monster fan fiction story.

A new sub has come to Bellville High, and with her… a teacher's aide. Lonely werecat Nane Mau is intrigued.

Word count: 3,212 — Character count: 17,930 Drafted: September 14th / 15th / 18th / 25th, 2024 Revised: September 25th / 27th–29th, 2024 —

Hi, I'm back. Miss me~? … hello?

Ladies and gentlemen, meet Nane Mau.  She is the epitome of the "lovable loser" trope. (Or maybe I just relate to her way too hard.)  This girl has captured my heart and possessed me to write a terrible, trashy romance fan fiction story about her. I'm sure Josh is going to be "thrilled" about this.  (,:

Anyway, if you like this story, check out Josh's stuff.  Even if you hate the story, check it out.  I don't even know how I found him, but I'm glad I did! He draws very cute things that I have a great appreciation of. 👍

10/31 Edit: So, the name of the series is "I Was a Teenage Monster", apparently… Well, The More You Know, I guess.

Nane Mau, Renée, Shelly Screwloose, Dimitri Graaf, and "Bellville High" "I Was a Teenage Monster" series and related characters and concepts created by and © joshdamn23

[ ← Prev. Chapter | Next Chapter → ] —

    On an early morning, some rainy day, a lady was lying on her couch, watching old cartoons on a local channel.  She was laughing loudly and really enjoying herself as she relaxed in her favorite dinosaur pajamas, eating nacho-flavored chips.

    "Mau?"

    The lady looked up from her prone position.  Standing at the end of the couch was her roommate and friend, Renée.  She was dressed in a tank top and sweatpants.

    "Heeey, what's uuup, home slice?" the layabout greeted.     "Uh, hey…" Renée answered, a sound of skepticism in her voice.  "Have you been up all night?  You look terrible."     "Mm-hmm!" Mau proudly answered.  "Been watchin' a Flintstones marathon on the local channel!  Oh— look!  This one's a classic!  Fred got into tinkering with cars and wants to win a race for Pebble and Bamm-Bamm's college tuition.  Look at him go!  He's driving on the wall like it's nothing!!"     As Mau burst into uproarious laughter, Renée just kind of cocked her head.     "Okay, well…" she began, "I'm gonna go do my morning workout.  You should probably get cleaned up."     "You're not the boss of me!" Mau playfully countered with a toothy grin.     "No, but the Superintendent of Bellville is, and I don't think they'd like it if you turned up late for work.  Again."     "Pfft.  Silly Renée!  There's no work on Sunday!"     "No— Mau.  Sunday was yesterday," Renée explained.  "You stayed up all night so today is Monday.  It… would be Monday either way, but—"     "T-today is Monday?"     Mau's golden eyes stared, her creamy fur bristling under her lizard onesie.  She looked genuinely spooked by this revelation.     "Uh, yeah," Renée confirmed.  "Today's Monday and you have work in, like, an hour."     Well, that was all Mau needed to hear.  She let loose a loud expletive and leaped from the couch, throwing chips and cheese dip all over the place.     "H-hey!"     "I'll clean that later!" she yelped at her roomie.  "Sorry!"

    As Mau left the room, Renée stood there in silence, examining the mess.     "That girl…" she sighed, pinching the bridge of her muzzle.  "I swear…"     A moment later, her gaze fell upon the television set.  Her ears perked and her eyes widened, a look of surprise coming over her.     "Oh… hey!  This is a good episode!"     As the previous episode of The Flintstones ended, Renée moved the couch and coffee table, deciding to do her morning calisthenics while watching the old cartoon.  She decided that she, too, would clean the couch later.  It was already covered in stains anyway — what was one or two more? —

    Mau was a feline dervish as she made herself presentable.  A quick shower and change of clothes put the cream-colored cat back in her usual outfit: a sandy skirt, blue T-shirt, and comfy letterman jacket.  She accessorized with her segmented belt and collar, put a snake charm earring behind her right ear, then started to apply her makeup — eyeshadow under the eyes with a cute little curly mark at the corner — all the while grumbling at herself for being so careless.

    I can't believe I lost track of time like that! she thought as she drew on her face.  Actually… yes, I can.  I'm always screwin' around when I should be doing things.  But, damn it, I'm a grown-up and I deserve to be able to screw around!     She nodded to herself in affirmation.     Yeah.  Yeah, everyone else takes things too seriously!  They need to lighten up—     Another expletive passed her lips followed by a hiss.  She'd jabbed herself in the eye with the eyeliner pencil.     "Stupid makeup!" she snapped, throwing the marker in a snit.  "No, wait—!"     She reached for the marker, jamming her hand on the sink's smooth surface.  Alas, she was too late.  The thing had gone down the drain and was probably sitting in the bend of the pipe.  Three more expletives came out of her mouth and she kicked the cabinet, screaming as she jammed her toes.  Not long after, she hopped around the bathroom holding her injured foot.     "Why you…!"     Once the pain subsided, she stood on her good foot and started to swing toward the cabinet again!  However… she stopped short before standing up straight.     "No," she told herself with a sigh.  "You can smash the cabinet door later."     With that decision, she retrieved another pencil, finished her makeup, fixed her outfit, and headed back into the living room.

    As Mau re-entered the main area of the apartment, her ears picked up on the sound of Renée giggling about something.     "What's so funny, Née?" she asked.     Mau quickly noted that her roommate was seated on a clean part of the couch, watching The Flintstones with amusement.     "Hee hee hee!  Wow, Fred and Barney can't sing!" she replied, giggling all the more.     "Oh!  I love this episode!"     Mau leaped over the back of the couch, sat down, and… splat!     "What the f—"     She quickly stood back up, raising a leg and looking down.  Renée covered her mouth, staring with surprise.  There was a long strand of cheese dip stretched from the couch cushion to Mau's butt and, though she couldn't see it, a new sizeable stain on the back of her skirt.     "What in the—?!  Who left cheese dip on the freaking couch?!"     Renée's hands slid down to her collarbone.  She was trying not to laugh at this point, but she also felt bad for Mau, who was trying to rub the cheese off her backside.

    The rest of the early morning was spent cleaning the spilled chips and cheese dip off the couch, ensuring that no one would sit in a mess again.  Until next time.

    "Gods…  You'd think today was Friday the 13th or something, given my morning…"

    With the couch cleaned, Renée and Mau headed into the latter's room.  They were looking for a clean pair of pants she could borrow.     "Maybe someone put a curse on you?" Renée offered, still holding back a fit of giggles over the "cheese incident".     "It wouldn't surprise me…"  The black-haired lady sighed.  "Well, anyway… thanks for letting me borrow some pants, roomie."     The roommate nodded before idly commenting, "We should probably do laundry this weekend…  We're both getting low on clean clothes."     "Tell you what…"  Mau smiled, slipping into a pair of black yoga pants.  "I'll pay for the wash cycle, this weekend."     The white cat's face showed strong disbelief.  Her roommate had some nerve…  For better or worse, Mau seemed to misread this as appreciation.     "No, no, it's the least I can do for the best roomie in the world!" she laughed.     "I… thaaanks?" was what Renée decided to say.  Her roommate was trying… in more ways than one.

    Once the clothing issue was sorted, the two returned to the living room.  As Mau got ready, Renée looked at the stains on the couch again.     "You know, you should really stop eating on the couch…" she suggested.     "But, how else am I gonna watch The Flintstones while I eat nacho chips?" was Mau's answer.  "Besides, I've seen the way you rip through sushi while sittin' there!"     Renée blushed a little.  Rather than get angry, though, she tried to be understanding.     "Sorry…" she quietly responded, her ears curling back.  "I—"     "Hey, hey, hey…  It's okay."     Renée blinked a couple of times as she got a pat on the head from her roommate.     "Everyone has their quirks, right?" Mau offered with a chipper smile.  "Yours is sushi, and mine is…"     She paused for a second, her ears flicking and tail twitching.  Her mind was reeling with all the "quirks" she had — many of which she was self-conscious of, thanks to other people.

    "A-anyway!" she started again, "the couch is clean… er.  I'm dressed.  And… what time is it?"     "Oh, it's—"     "Scarabs!!"     Renée's fur bristled as Mau shouted.  She looked stressed again.     "I gotta get the heck outta Dodge, Née!" she said before breaking into a fast jog across the room.  "Have a great day and all that!  'Bye!!"

    Mau ran out the front door, slamming it behind her.  Not a second later, she burst back inside and ran over to Renée.  As expected, she was holding Mau's purse and smirking.     "Stop that," Mau said, wearing her own smirk.  "Thank you."     Renée's eyes rolled upward and her smirk became a grin.  "Mm-hmm."     With that, Mau slung her purse over her shoulder and ran back outside… only to come back in another second after.     "What'd you forget now?" Renée teased.     "This."     The white cat's blue eyes widened as Mau gave her a quick hug.     "Thanks for putting up with me."     Renée softly nodded, a blush barely visible under her fur.  She smiled, though.

    "Alright, 'bye for real now!"     For the third time, Mau ran out the door, shutting it loudly.  She didn't run back inside this time.  However…     "Gah!!"     She wound up garroting herself with her purse strap, the bag getting caught in the door.  Just another typical morning for her…

    Eventually, Mau did manage to get on her way.  She ran to the nearest bus stop and, luckily, managed to catch it just in time.  She flashed her pre-paid bus pass through the scanner and quickly found a seat.  There was an amusing irony about a teacher like her taking a bus to school, just like her students…  Less amusing was the fact that the Bellville High wouldn't spring for bus fair for any of the faculty… not that anyone else actually needed it.  As far as Mau knew, she was the only staff member from Bellville High who used public transport to get around.

    Part of that was because she didn't own a car.  Not since the twelve-car pile-up she was part of, anyway…  She also didn't make enough money to actually buy or even lease another one.  Cars were prohibitively expensive… especially for someone who likes spending a lot of money on junk food and random impulse buys.  She always made sure she could cover her half of the bills, though!  Mostly!  Sometimes.  Usually…     Part of it was also because nobody wanted to carpool with her.  Most of her work friends were pretty set in their ways and no one lived near enough to her to swing by.  She joked about what a "lame excuse" that was, but she knew gas was pretty pricey, too.  She could probably afford to kick in for gas… but did she really want to?  Probably not.     Lastly, and most embarrassingly… Mau had her driver's license suspended due to the aforementioned accident.  She was the cause.  Now, that happened a while back and she could have gotten her licensed reinstated, but naaah.  She figured that if she needed to get anywhere fast, she could always bum a ride from her roomie.  Otherwise, she was in no real hurry… most of the time.  That morning, however, she needed to expedite her travels and get to school.  Unfortunately, something was preventing her from getting there.

    "Road work?!"

    Mau stood at the front of the bus, staring out the windshield with anger.  Laying ahead was a whole heap of cars and trucks all packed into one lane of traffic.  This was because the other lane — the one going toward town — was shut down and being repaired.  And this, of course, meant that she and the other passengers on the bus were going nowhere fast.

    "Siddown, miss," the driver told Mau as she leaned on the token taker.     "No, you don't understand!" she countered, looking distressed.  "I need to get to Bellville High!  I teach history there, and—"     "Lady, I don't care if you teach orphans how to do basic math!" the gruff driver snapped.  "Sitcher ass down whilst the bus is in motion!  Capisce?"     Mau looked at the driver with disbelief, mouth hanging open.  Sure, the engine was running, but the bus was very clearly stuck in traffic.     "Lemme out," she flatly countered.     "Lady, I can't do that," was his response to that.  "The bus is— hey!!"     "Sorry!" she half-heartedly apologized, yanking the door lever and opening the door.     "Get back on the damn bus!!" the driver shouted from his vehicle.  "I could get in trouble!  I'll… I'll have you banned, ya know!!"     Mau wasn't listening.  She had broken into a full sprint, umbrella out as her paws carried her as fast as they could toward the school… which was still a couple of miles away.  Through rain and wind.  Damn it.

    The run from the street corner to the school was quite a trek.  It took Mau about forty minutes' travel time — partly because she wasn't in the best physical condition, and partly because she'd slipped and fallen a couple of times.  When she arrived, she was gasping and heaving for air, her hair disheveled, and her clothes and fur wet in places.

    "Oh.  Hey, teach'."

    As Mau leaned on a bike rack to catch her breath, she heard a familiar voice.  Looking over, she saw the green-skinned, red-headed form of Shelly Screwloose — one of her students — standing there.

    "What happened to you?" Shelly asked with concern.  "You look like death warmed over!  I'd know.  Yesterday, I was workin' on this experiment with—"     "Water!"     "What?  No.  More like melted-down—"     "Water!" Mau repeated in a wheeze.  "Please…!"     "Oh, you want some water!"  Shelly laughed.  "Well, you're just in luck!"     With a grin and a wink, she reached into her long jacket and withdrew a corked tube of some kind of blue liquid.     "I just happen to have my latest experiment with me!" she continued.  "See, I—"     "Gimme!"     The synthoid girl blinked as her teacher snatched the vial out of her hands.  She then watched as Ms. Mau chugged the thing down in a series of loud gulps.

    "Pwah…!"

    Once emptied of its contents, Mau returned the vial and offered a tired smile.     "Th-thanks…  I feel better already!  Kinda tart, though…"     The teacher paused, her fur beginning to bristle.     "Wait, what was in that tube?" she asked tensely.     "Blueberry juice."     "Bl… blueberry juice?"  Mau blinked.  "Wait, just normal blueberry juice?"     "More or less!" Shelly laughed.  "I mean, it had some electrolytes 'n stuff in it.  Coach cut me a deal, see…"     "A… a deal?" the teacher asked, cocking her head.     "Yeah!" Shelly responded with another laugh.  "Coach said if I made something good for the team, I'd get a guaranteed A+ without even doin' Gym Class!  It's a win-win for everyone!"     "I… see."     Mau chuckled a little before she smiled.     "Well, I feel refreshed, so I'd say you're doing a good job!  Thanks, Shelly!"     "Yeah, sure…"     Shelly drew a notepad and a pen from another pocket.     "Any weird aftertaste?" she inquired.  "Do you feel anything weird in your gastrointestinal tract?  Any heart murmurs?"     Mau stiffened up.  "What."     At that, Shelly just offered a mysterious smile, patiently waiting for an answer.

    Mau walked into the school after a short survey about her student's "blueberry juice"  and headed to the teacher's lounge.  Normally, she would have had a coffee with creamer, but after all the weird questions that self-proclaimed "alchemist" student of hers asked, she thought it would be best to just stick with water.  While she was drinking, though, she saw a familiar face wander in.  It was Dimitri Garrf, the school counselor and a good work friend of hers.  He was looking as semi-professional as ever in his gray vest, slacks, and pressed white shirt.

    "Hey, Mau!" the wolfman greeted.     "Hey," she answered with a nod and a smile.     "Good weekend?"     "You know me, I'm always keepin' busy!" she half-lied.     "Hey, that's great to hear!"      The man got himself some coffee.  He liked it black, Mau noted.

    "So, did you get the e-mail about the sub?" he asked before taking a sip.     "The what?" she answered between gulps of water.     "The sub," he patiently repeated.  "The English teacher is out for a couple of weeks, so we're getting a temporary replacement!"     Mau tilted her head.  "Really?  Huh."     "Yeah…"     Mau noted that there was a hint of apprehension in his words.

    "No one knows anything about her," was the next thing Dimitri mentioned.     "What?  Why not?" the cat lady answered.     "Well, she's not from around here, for one," he explained.  "She just kind of arrived on-demand, I've heard…"     "How mysterious!"     The wolfman grinned as Mau made a grand gesture and smiled.  He liked her silly antics.     "That's one way to put it," he offered with a chuckle.  "But, what's really weird is that she brought her own assistant."     "A teacher's aide?" she asked as she worked on her tenth paper cone of water.  "That is pretty odd.  I've never heard of a substitute teacher having a teacher's aide…"     "I know, right?"  He chuckled again.  "I asked around and I think they're a sister-brother team.  Not sure.  But, I guess we'll see later today!"     "A sister-brother team…?"     Mau paused to ponder that possibility.  Specifically, she pondered the possibility of asking the sub's aide out.     If this new sub has a brother… and the brother isn't ugly or smelly… she thought, maybe I can make this work.  It'd be nice to date a guy who doesn't have any expectations of me.     The lady quietly sipped her eleventh cup of water, a cat-like grin forming on her lips.

    "Anyway," the counselor continued after finishing his coffee, "I just figured I'd ask and see if you knew anything.  See you at lunch, Mau!"     "Not if I see you, first!"     He laughed.  "Right!"     As he left, Mau took a twelfth cup of water, her tail swaying as she continued to think about the sub's aide.  Excitement built inside her at the thought of some handsome guy from far away arriving at the school.  Something else swelled inside, too.     "Crap, I gotta pee!"     With that declaration, she escaped the teacher's lounge, eager to start her day properly… among other things.

    While her morning had been full of excitement and typical bad luck, the day proceeded pretty calmly.  She taught one of her classes about Ancient Egypt — specifically about the pharaohs and other royalty.  When she made note of how cats were basically gods in that culture, one student smartly asked, "And what are you the god of?  Being lame?"  Laughter filled the classroom as she sent that student — a regular troublemaker — out.     The next class was a little more interested in what she had to say about Iceland and Greenland, asking a lot of questions she didn't know the answer to.  She did her best to try and act like she did, though no one was fooled as she "subtly" asked her phone for answers.  Still, they were a lot more respectful than the previous class, which made her happy.     One last class went by in a flash with Mau resuming a lesson about United States presidents.  There was a disagreement between two groups about the way some presidents ran the country, but luckily, a particular student moderated the impromptu debate.  She was kind of a "teacher's pet" and didn't care if anyone knew it, but Mau tried not to give her special treatment.  She did thank her student, however.  Shortly after, the bell rang; it was lunchtime.

[idrewacow]

One of the things I really enjoy (and respect!) about your negitoro fics is how different Miku and Luka are with every fic. It embodies the spirit of vocaloid, I think, that they can be anything if put into the right setting and given to someone who knows how to use them.

There's no question that 'Tale of Survival' Miku is worlds away from 'Stray Cat' Miku, and 'The Reason' Luka is... quite different from 'Panthera' Luka, to say the least. And yet, I find myself immersed in the world of each fic so quickly that I wouldn't even think to doubt that this is them, without question. Within each universe, they've got spot-on, consistent characterization that just blows me away.

So my question is, if you don't mind sharing, what goes into the character planning process for your stories? How do you decide who they are for each new story?

Thank you!

That's quite a tough question, actually. A little bit of a chicken and the egg situation in this case, because it begs the question: what comes first, the story or the characters within?

It honestly varies immensely per project. Going into Tale of Survival, or Stray Cat, I knew exactly who I was writing because those were based off of prompts. So I went in going knowing who it would all be about, so crafting the story became an art of finding an interesting place to put these people. Then, once you put them there, you realize that their environment has an impact on these characters, and they change and evolve into someone new.

The Reason is the opposite: I wanted a very particular setting, a mood, a set of circumstances. I wanted a story to go exactly the way I wanted it to so I crafted a set of characters that would make the story move accordingly. But then the characters grow and you learn who they are and boom, their decisions go against yours and the story veers slightly out of control towards the end.

So as you can see, regardless of what I start with, whether it be characters or story, the other half of the equation inevitably ends up imposing itself. And as many authors know, it ends up working out anyway because stories are organic things. As long as things move forward and evolve, they're usually interesting by nature.

To answer on a more technical level, actual character crafting and planning isn't something I get very involved with. There are tons of guides out there, sheets to fill, advice for creating a consistent character, and they can all be helpful. But most of the time, when I put the pin down in what kind of character I want (whether I start with a character, or whether I need one for a particular story) I just kind of...go by gut feeling. I know exactly who I start with, and for this sometimes I do use these characters sheets and such. Plus, generally, I can guess how they'll fare and grow throughout the story. A character arc is always a must-have, after all. I knew that Luka in Space Shanty would go through a major transformation character-wise, otherwise she would just be deeply unsympathetic until the end.

But when it comes to the details, I just trust my gut to tell me how they'll reply, how they'll reason, what they'll think, how they'll prioritize, depending on their situation and who they are right then and there. If I need a reminder of who they are, I re-read the text I've written so far, placing special attention to their growth, what they've witnessed and learned, and what kind of flaws are still holding them back. Sometimes I'll make little notes: "Remember Miku doesn't know about xyz yet," or "Luka shouldn't accept xyz until abc," stuff like that. And always, upon re-reading after the first draft is done, I fix the pacing, tweak dialogue, because you never know exactly who they are and what they've been through exactly until it's all been written down and committed to the page. Kind of like writing the introduction of a paper only after writing the rest: it's best to write the introduction only after you know exactly what you're introducing. In my first draft, I didn't know that Luka from Stray Cat would make the move until she kind of just did, again, due to environment, interactions, and unanticipated growth. And once she did, I had to go back and make sure that it made sense for her character, and when it did, I solidified that.

Long story short, it's an incredibly vague and imprecise art for me. Which makes it a bit of a relief to hear that my characterizations are as solid as they are! But no character exists in a vacuum, spending time to carve one into stone has never helped me, and vibes are apparently just enough to get the job done. Write, re-write, read it again, write it all over again, all the while getting to know who you're working with and exactly what they're going through. Don't insult their intelligence, don't make light of their pain, don't skip on the happiness, know exactly what they stand to lose and what they want to gain. Make them wonder what they'd rather do: lose and keep what they have, or win at the cost of all they had. Even victory has a cost (at the very least, the sacrifice of the status quo), and you're never left with the same person you started with.

I hope that answered the question! Thanks again for the kind words. :)