#i usually dont vent like this if this even counts as a vent. but uh. needed to get this off my chest

[catspinach]

ive been meaning to vent on here about work for a long time now so here

i was hired in as a shift supervisor at a brand new starbucks with all brand new employees aside from another supervisor, Mylah, who is a 4yr partner(remember her), and maybe 2 others or so. none of us knew what we were doing. i was barista trained separately from the rest, followed by supervisor training, and then a week off. I came back and had no idea what the hell i was doing, and everyone was mad that i didnt know what to do??

Mylah trained me, and it was brutal. She would critique everything i did, and I always defended myself, saying "why do i need to do it that way if this way gets the same results?" and she did Not like that lmao and the entire training was incredibly tense.

Months pass, and she is worse than ever. she's had several lectures about her behavior but not a single writeup. Nothing has changed. She trained a new supervisor a few weeks ago, and she treated her the same way as she did with me. At some point she slammed a freezer and started shouting, making her cry, and Everyone in lobby turned their heads. i felt awful and wanted to say smth, but I'm genuinely scared of her. Everyone is. Several people have admitted to me that they call off when they see Mylah on the schedule.

The other day, the lobby was empty, and we were free to talk about all the harassment we've faced with her. I cant even remember all of it there's so much but uh here's a list of stuff i remember:

My manager gave Jenn some extra hours, and when they came in, Mylah cornered them, asking why they stole all her hours?? Jenn was comfused because they were literally just added to the schedule so that they would have enough bodies on the floor. Apparently Mylah was pissy at them for the entire rest of their shift, which sucks bc they were already working 12hrs that day:'(

I became friends with a barista named Diana, who is hispanic, and Mylah (white) would always say rude things that made her uncomfortable, saying its okay because her bf is mexican ._. It became a problem and eventually Mylah started looking through all her stuff to get her fired, and succeeded. Diana told me that Mylah would joke with the other baristas about how im stupid and bad at my job, and she said she always stood up for me which definitely did not help her with this whole situation but I greatly appreciate her for it, and we still talk!

Anna said Mylah was talking to her about me and how i do my job wrong. she said i don't face the bills the same way in the deposit bag, and that I dont fill in the money order right so I'm the reason we have so many goddamn nickles, and she said I don't double count the drawers and that's why there's so many mistakes with the deposit. the funny thing is, i DO face the bills the same way, I have never even DONE a money order because that's morning's job, I TRIPLE count the drawers bc i have anxiety, and nobody has EVER said anything to me about the deposit being off.

At some point someone said ret*rded, and Mylah is autistic and was rightfully mad, and brought her to the back to yell at her. not sure what she said but when she came back she went up to me, and only me, and apologized. so like that really hurted but okay whatever ill just go kill myself ig

Mylah was opening one day and told Morgan that since I was closing that it would probably take longer than usual to close? I asked Morgan how Mylah was with closing, and she said that nothing gets done until the absolute last minute, and it takes at least half an hour to finish closing. My record is 2 minutes past close.

Jenn and Taylor told me that I'm their favorite out of all of the shifts, because I make sure to get everything done, I am fast, efficient, and if they have a question I will do my best to figure out a solution for them. Apparently, when they ask Mylah a question, she answers with, "I dont know man, I just work here" and walks away. which like. mood. but she's getting paid 20/hr compared to the baristas at 15/hr, and there is absolutely no reason that the baristas should have to pick up her slack.

Anna used to be friends with Mylah, and they went to get piercings together, and Mylah thought it would be super funny to snapchat Anna having a panic attack about the needle! outside of work, but still fucked up

theres more idk

Mylah got it in my head that I'm the worst of all of the supervisors, and when I found out I was almost all the baristas' favorite, I started visibly shaking with relief! Ive been trying so so hard to make up for how "bad" i am at my job in fear that everyone will hate me otherwise, and now I gind this out and I don't know how to handle this information jdgdheb

I asked them if they would like to talk to the manager as a group, hoping that will show her just how serious the situation is. I don't usually pray for someone to get fired, but I want her ass permanently out of my sight asap

[baroquebucky]

symphony

in which bucky realizes the light you’ve brought into his life

word count: 2.3k of pure fluff

masterlist

a/n: hi bffs !! hope u all enjoy this fluff as reparations for the amount of angst I’ve been writing <333 let me know what you guys think !! inspired by this song :] sorry for any typos !!

Life felt monotonous for bucky. Everyday he would wake up, go for a walk, sometimes go out for dinner with his neighbor other times he would just stay in. Then he would go to therapy, suffer there for a while before coming back and doing nothing. Throughout the week he would go to the compound or the gym and train to get his mind off things.

“I just feel like I’m stuck in a loop and i can’t get out of it, it’s like a boring song that everyone’s playing on repreat” bucky grumbled, sam nodded, listening to bucky as he vented.

“i think you need something new in your life, something to spice it up” Sam spoke gently, thinking for a bit before a smile appeared on his face, “i know just the thing!” He cheered.

“how is coffee gonna help me” bucky huffed, sam just rolled his eyes, dragging the super soldier along to his favorite coffee shop.

“no trust me, this coffee is amazing, they have all these other drinks too and the person who always takes my order is amazing” Sam cheered, a smile on his face as he rounded the corner and saw you through the glass.

“that’s them!” He smiled, turning to look at bucky, he stopped in his tracks.

“you aren’t trying to set me up on a date right now, right?” Bucky looked at Sam wide eyed and he rolled his eyes, shaking his head and grabbing Buckys wrist.

“if this was a date i would’ve made you dress better” Sam shot back, bucky frowned looking down at his clothes. What was so wrong with his clothes?

“this is my favorite jacket” bucky pouted and Sam rolled his eyes, as the door opened a small chime went off.

“good evening sam!” You called out, a bright smile on your face as you finished taking someone’s order. Sam and Bucky stood in line, waiting only a couple minutes before you helped them.

“your usual?” you beamed and Sam smiled, you wrote it down quickly, turning to bucky with a smile, “what can i get for you?” Bucky blushed a bit, avoiding eye contact with you and glancing at the menu.

“i- well uh i don’t know actually” bucky hesitated, sam cringed at his friend, elbowing him slightly.

“what do you recommend?” he asked quickly, and you turned to look down at the menu as if you didn’t have it memorized.

“hmm, well i really the special we have right now, if you’re not into sweet then i recommend that one” you pointed out with your pen a smile still on your face.

“whatever your favorite is” He spoke, heart beating in his chest as the words tumbled out. You felt your face heat up at his words, nodding quickly. Bucky paid and went to go sit next to Sam, ears red and face hot.

Sam simply chuckled at him, waiting patiently for you to call out their order numbers. Bucky kept glancing up, stealing glances at you and marveling at how pretty you were. The way you moved so easily and kept a smile on your face anytime someone looked your way.

Buckys heart sunk a bit. He wished he could be like that, all smiles and rainbows, like the way he used to be. He thought about how brooding he was and the way sam always commented on the way he stared too much. He tore his eyes away from you and focused on the decoration in the cafe.

“57 and 58!” You called out, setting the drinks on the counter looking out for Sam and bucky, smiling when you saw the two men getting up and walking towards you.

“thank you y/n!” Sam smiled and you nodded, eyes moving to bucky, he gave you a tight lipped smile before walking out. “that wasn’t so bad was it” Sam smirked and bucky rolled his eyes, taking a sip of his drink.

“oh wow this is really good” bucky mumbled, drinking some more and furrowing his brows, sam smiled at him, nodding in agreement.

The two men returned a couple times every week, you smiling at them and saying hello, giving bucky a new drink to try every time he came. The two of you stealing glances anytime you looked over while making the drink, heart rate spiking when your eyes met.

Bucky was giddy to see you, wondering what you would give him today. Sam frowned when your coworker greeted them instead of you.

“wheres y/n?” Sam asked, you coworker frowned at the mention of you before replying.

“oh they quit, our boss kept giving them shit” she sighed, “between you and i, they only stayed this long because you guys kept coming back” she smiled, her eyes moving to bucky, “specially you.”

As the two men were leaving your coworker called out for them, handing them a piece of paper. “she told me to give you guys this, have a good day!”

They looked at each other before unrolling the paper, you handwriting on it along with your phone number.

“text me when you want bird boy” Sam read, laughing a little, he turned to bucky, craning his neck to read his, “what’s your say” Bucky had a bashful smile on his face.

“oh just to text them whenever” bucky cleared his throat, shoving the piece of paper in his pocket.

i really hope we can hang out properly soon :) the paper read, scribbled under was a list of drinks you wanted him to try. Buckys heart fluttered at the action, the whole time he was with Sam you were the only thing he was thinking about.

When he finally got back to his apartment bucky texted you, heart racing as he sent the text.

hi it’s bucky, i got your note let me know when you’re free :-)

Your heart jumped at the message, the biggest smile on your face as you read the text over again, giggling as you replied.

hi buck!! I’m free this weekend actually :]

The two of you made plans quickly, excited for a proper date and not just stealing glances and making small talk when he ordered his drink or picked it up from the counter.

When Saturday evening came bucky was frantic, texting sam and asking what clothes he should wear, recalling the time he made fun of his clothes before he met you the first time.

You were nervous as you got ready, hands shaking slightly as you changed into some nice clothing. You checked yourself out in the mirror and smiled, fixing your hair a bit.

The doorbell rang and you jumped, heart racing as you walked to the door, opening it with a smile.

Bucky stood there with roses in his hands, a bright smile on his face. He chocked on his breath a little as he took you in, it was the first time he’d seen you out of uniform and god you were perfect.

“oh thank you!” You blushed, smiling as you took the flowers from him, “come in I’ll just put these in water” you smiled, letting him in and quickly moving to put the flowers in a vase.

Your apartment was so comforting, bucky felt like he was safe there, he felt so at peace despite his heart racing in his chest.

“ready?” You asked and bucky smiled, he could hear the way your heart raced after you not so secretly checked him out. He was wearing a dark blue t shirt and a leather jacket along with some black pants.

“so where are we going?” You questioned and bucky smiled, turning to look at you nervously before focusing on the road again.

“is the fair okay? I know there’s one in town and I’ve been wanting to go but-” he rambled and you cut him off excitedly.

“i love the fair! I’m really good at those shooting games y’know” you bragged and bucky smiled, excited to see how skilled you were. “however i will not compete against you” you added quickly, making bucky frown.

“too scared I’ll beat you doll?” Bucky smirked and your heart raced at the nickname, your comeback dying on your lips. Bucky smiled as you sat there with your mouth open, looking away quickly before changing the subject.

As the two of you arrived bucky immediately knew he made the right choice, the way you had the widest smile on your face as you pointed everything out to him, eyes wide as you saw the giant dinosaur plush.

“you have a metal arm dont you?” You whispered and bucky smiled, nodding his head. “would it be, i don’t know, immoral for you to use it to get that dinosaur plush?” You blushed, giggling as bucky gasped at you.

“i cant believe you!” He teased and you frowned, bucky smiled at you, taking your hand in his and walking towards the game. He handed the man the tickets to play and held the heavy ball in his hands.

“you just have to knock all three cups over” the man spoke and bucky nodded, placing the ball in his right hand before throwing it, easily knocking the cups down.

“yay!” You cheered, running next to bucky and hugging him, the man handed you the giant plush and you smiled, staring at bucky with starry eyes.

“didn’t even use your metal arms sergeant” you teased and Buckys heart lurched at the titles. His heart was in frenzy as you smirked up at him.

“I’m a super soldier doll” he smiled at your face turned into one of realization, nodding your head.

“right, i forgot about that” you mumbled, struggling to keep the dinosaur plush from touching the ground, bucky smiled at you before he took it from your hands, easily tucking it under his arm.

“thanks” you blushed and bucky nodded, a smile on his face as he replied.

“cant have my best girl struggling on our first date can we” you blushed at his words, looking at him with a bright smile.

“first? as in more to come?” You questioned, a smile on your face as you stopped in your tracks, the lights from some ride illuminating your face in reds and pinks. Bucky nodded, suddenly his confidence was sizzling away.

“I mean unless you don’t want to that’s fine too i just- i mean” bucky rambled and you watched him struggle for a bit, biting your bottom lip before stopping him.

“I’d love to go on more dates” you spoke up, bucky smiled at you, letting out a small breath, “now let’s go to the Ferris wheel!” You easily slipping your hand in his.

Everything felt so easy with bucky, it never felt forced. The two of you constantly texting and calling when you weren’t together and grabbing dinner and going on dates more and more often. It was only a matter of time before bucky asked you out, everything falling into place for the two of you.

The two of you were in bed, you were cuddled up into his side as you watched a documentary on some lions. Bucky ran his fingers through your hair and you sighed, relaxing into his touch. It had been almost two years since the two of you went on your first date, but to bucky it felt like yesterday.

“you know i love you, right doll” he spoke suddenly and you looked at him, confused before nodding.

“i love you too loverboy” you replied, sitting up and kissing his cheek.

“don’t know where I’d be without you” he spoke softly, his blue eyes meeting yours, he smiled softly. “I used to think i was broken and no one would want me” he mumbled and you frowned, letting him continue.

“the only reason sam took me to that cafe was because i was stuck in this loop and i was going crazy” he laughed softly, “i thought i was never gonna get out of this funk but then” he stopped.

You looked at him, confused as he smiled at you, peppering kissing all over your face before caressing your cheek and kissing your forehead.

“then what?” You whispered, a smile on your face when you realized what he was going to say.

“then you came along” he replied, smiling at the way you wiggled to face him.

“you took me and you made me into a better person, you made my life so much better and now it’s like there’s a symphony playing anytime in with you” he spoke, a smile on his face when you reached your hand out and ran your fingers through his hair. You stopped your hand at the nape of his neck, pushing him towards you and crashing your lips onto his.

It was sloppy and passionate, but it was sweet. The two of you smiling into the kiss before giving him one last peck and pulling away.

“oh lovebug, that songs always been inside you, just needed a little tuning to get it right” you replied, taking him into your arms as he laid down on your chest.

For once, bucky was grateful sam had forced him to go out, he was grateful that you were working that day and you recommend him a drink. He was grateful that you went to the fair with him and you liked him enough to go on another date.

Bucky no longer wished to be like you, he didn’t long for the person he was in the 40s. He didn’t wish he could change into someone else anymore.

He didn’t because he was more himself than he had ever been. He was happy and he was at peace, he was who he had always wanted to become. He didn’t feel like he was stuck in the shadows in a constant loop.

Bucky smiled as you placed a gentle kiss on top of his head, mumbling a soft ‘i love you.’

Bucky felt happy, he felt at home and he felt in love. He was finally at peace with his life now that you were in it. You helped him become who he was, pushed him to be better and to change into who he wanted to be.

[haikyuuscreaming]

hello!! can you write something fluff with kenma, please? some friends to lovers if possible. loving your blog 💕💕

OH SHIT SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG SDFSDFJKD this is. 3.5k words roughly and im so sorry idk why my fics always come out longer than 1k words :(((

The first time you meet Kozume Kenma, he’s hiding behind the wall that is Kuroo Tetsurou and you’re both in your first year.

“Oh?” The Nekoma volleyball captain stares you down in the Chem class you share with him. “You’re [Surname]-san, right?”

“Yeah,” You say, never breaking eye contact with him but secretly eyeing the quiet boy behind him. He’s your classmate in a few other of your periods, but not this one. This class is an advanced Chemistry class, placing you conveniently with the second-years and a handful of equally smart first-years. “I need help with the homework and you’re my best bet. Could you help out?”

Kuroo narrows his eyes at you, which you don’t exactly appreciate but you don’t say anything. “You sure you don’t want me to just give answers?”

“I kinda need to understand this to pass the class, so no thanks.”

He hums in approval, like you’ve passed some test, and nods. “Sure thing. I wanted to teach Kenma this anyway.”

Oh, that’s his name… you think to yourself, and you noticed the mentioned Kenma doesn’t look up from his Nintendo Switch, even at the mention of his name. You watch Kuroo turn around to his companion, coercing him, “Kenma, get up, we’re learning Chem.”

“Can’t we do it later?” Kenma’s voice doesn’t hold anything akin to bitterness or complaint- it’s kind of devoid, actually, in a soft and cute way- and you try to tune out the sound of Kuroo scolding him but he’s so loud when he’s right next to you.

“C’mon, we’re about to go home now, we can stay after school a little longer. Plus, we get to teach this lovely lady about nuclei.”

“I’m right here, you know,” you roll your eyes lightly but before you know it, you’re defending Kozume-san. “We can always work it out, um… I dunno, maybe over lunch on Sunday? I mean, it is Friday and this thing’s due Monday and… we can have more fun studying this if we have food.”

Stupid fucking Kuroo only grins. “Oh, so you’re asking me on a date? Kinda bold, if I don’t say so myself, kouhai-chan.”

“Kuro, stop.” Kenma speaks up and his quiet voice somehow speaks volumes. “We can meet with her on Sunday to do it.” And just like that, he retreats to his Switch without another word.

Kuroo turns to you and shrugs indifferently, contrasting his previously provocative and shitfaced attitude. “The man’s laid down the law. How’s boba on Sunday sound?”

The second time you meet Kenma is on that promised study session.

He has inconspicuous earbuds in, his face illuminated by the glowing light of his DS. He has a DS, too? He still looks cute.

And there’s Kuroo of course, but he’s irrelevant to your case unless it has to do with your god forsaken chem homework.

“You want me to go order some drinks next door?” Kuroo quirks an eyebrow. “My treat.”

“Just a brown sugar milk tea, thanks,” You tell him gratefully. Thank god for men and their dead sense of chivalry.

“No boba? You’re crazy.” Kuroo scrunches his nose at you and you wish Kenma would start talking so you could avoid this big, annoying cat. “What about you, Kenma? Your usual?”

“Yeah,” is all Kenma says.

“Alright, see you nerds later,” Kuroo practically sings out, patting both of your heads like an old man, and takes something from Kenma that you don’t quite catch, but it makes Kenma glare at him.

As soon as Kuroo’s out of sight, you find it a little awkward to keep conversation with Kenma especially with his whole gamer complex, but-

Oh.

Kuroo took Kenna's DS.

“Kuroo-san’s pretty bothersome, huh,” you sigh out in an attempt to stir conversation. Lucky for you, Kenma goes along with the conversation without fight, his eyes peering over you like reflective pools of honey.

(They’re really pretty, you think.)

“Yeah,” Kenma slouches down a little bit more in his chair at the mention of his taller friend. “He’s kind of like my second mom… but not really. Always nagging me to do things.”

You laugh at his solemn, depressed answer. “It’s fun to have him around, though, right? He’s kind of funny sometimes-- the rest he’s annoying-- and he’s decently smart even though I’m pretty sure he’s got, what, three braincells.”

To your unprompted delight, Kenma laughs softly at you poking fun of Kuroo, and the conversation between you and him starts piling up into more, and more, and it all feels so short. You don’t even notice Kuroo coming back and hovering over the table.

“Eh? You and Kenma getting along without me? What a shame, you know. I really do get third-wheeled.” Kuroo lets out a wistful sigh akin to an old man and sits down, drinks in hand. “So, who’s ready to study?”

The third time you meet Kozume Kenma, it’s at your mall’s arcade.

You and your friends are playing one of those claw machines, trying to get that really cute Miku figurine and those adorable plushies, wasting all your coins on these sucker games like the dumb teenagers you are. But a glimpse of familiar, two-toned hair catches your eye.

“Hold on,” you tell your friends who’re still busy trying to get that stupidly gorgeous Sakura Miku figure. “I’m gonna be right back.”

You wander your way to the familiar head of hair, and gratefully, your instinct was right. “Kozume-san? What’re you doing here?”

Kenma practically jumps at the sound of your voice, turning around, eyes wide. “Oh. I just got lost from the team. You’re here too?”

“Mhm,” You smile, pointing at your screaming group of friends. “My friends and I are here just to chill out and have fun. You can hang with us if you want!”

He shakes his head, his hair gracefully framing his face. “Nah, I’m fine, thanks.. I’ll just hold out until Kuro sniffs me out or something.”

You furrow your brow- geez, this kid’s gonna get lost so fast-- and you gently clasp the phone he’s holding in his hand. “Can I give you my number? I’ll pick up immediately if you ever call, just give a ring.”

You fail to notice the surprise that flits over Kenma’s face, but he reluctantly hands you his phone and you tap in your number quickly. “See you around, Kozume-san. Don’t get into trouble.”

And Kenma smiles on his own accord, his face lighting up softly like a lamp under moonlight. “You too.”

The fourth time you meet Kozume Kenma, he’s at your house working on an Japanese Lit assignment.

“Oh? Kozume-kun!” You’re pleasantly surprised when your teacher pairs the two of you up. “Nice to talk with you again.”

“Yeah, “ Kenma blinks a little awkwardly and he shyly grins, which you find even more stunning than it already is because he’s usually held up such a calm, unaffected facade. “Uh. So do you want to meet up at… your house for this? So we can do the project.”

“Oh, yeah,” You wave dismissively, beaming at him because this is your chance to get closer with him. “My little brother’s a nuisance, though, so he might bother us. I hope you don’t mind?”

“No problem.. you can text me the address, because… yeah.” You find it cute how Kenma doesn’t want to mention that the two of you have been texting a lot more lately, and the slightest blush tints his cheeks.

“Of course!”

Flash to your house, the two of you are on the floor, slaving over a giant posterboard with paint and art supplies scattered about.

“I hate making movie posters, it’s so tiring…” You groan out, trying to paint Yukio Mishima’s face with the utmost care. “And this book’s so creepy… why would we wanna make a poster of it? He commits seppuku!”

Kenma grins a little bit and he looks really cute, with his hair tied up in the back and his gaze focused on the painting at hand. “You’re so easily grossed out.”

“But he made it so detailed! You're immune ‘cause you play all those gross horror games.”

He laughs quietly, and you think you're going to heaven. “You couldn't even handle Ao Oni, stop.”

You scowl at the mention of Kenma’s dumb horror games. “He’s this weird deformed grape, okay?? It was kinda scary!”

The two of you end up nowhere near finishing your poster, and you collectively decide to put it off for maybe another day. The rest of your day is spent-- c-cuddling? (no hetero, you reassured Kenma, although you were thinking otherwise)-- and playing more horror games, much to your chagrin.

(But it gave you a reason to hug Kenma tighter.)

You can’t even count the amount of times you’ve met up with Kenma now. You’re in your second-year of high school now and your bond with him as only strengthened.

He invited you eventually to walk to school with him, along with Kuroo, and you find out that it was Kuroo’s coaxing to do so. But you’re still delighted that Kenma agreed on, what, the second time Kuroo nagged him about it?

You and Kenma have gotten fairly close. You’ve vented to him, cried to him, he’s shown his emotional side, too. You’ve even gotten a little closer to Nekoma’s god, Kuroo Tetsurou (to which your friends always complain about- “you can’t take all the cute guys for yourself”). But, in your opinion, the most important part is that you’ve been getting closer to Kozume Kenma, who you once thought would always just be the quiet classmate to you. Who would always be your unattainable, close-guarded crush.

"Kenma!” You yell out, rushing over to him with your backpack practically bouncing off of you with each step. “Wait up, would you?! How do you get out of class so quick??”

 "I was waiting for you either way,” Kenma mumbles and hunches his shoulders together. “Do you wanna go to my house? I have new games and Kuroo won't be bothering us.”

“Can’t we get snacks first?” You know you sound a little bit whiny, but you’re hungry as fuck, and Kenma’s smiling either way.

“I guess.. you’re paying, though.”

“That isn’t fair at all!”

Eventually the two of you walk to your nearest 7/11 and get chips and snacks before leaving promptly, with you holding your chocolate milk and Kenma sipping apple juice. The walk to his house is full of conversation, Kenma equally engaged as you are. But as soon as you arrive at his front doorstep, the hollow noise of an empty apple juice box makes its appearance.

“You drink your juice too fast!” You tease Kenma lightly as he frowns, unlocking the door.

“You just drink too slow,” he replies and shoulders the door open. The two of you make your way inside and flop onto the couch, Kenma crouching near the TV to boot up his newest game. “Damn. I’m still thirsty, too.”

“Language, Kenma,” You chide him, throwing a pillow at him as soon as he sits down next to you on the couch. “And-” it takes every ounce of your willpower not to turn bright red. “-do you want some of my chocolate milk?”

The silence that follows is very short (probably only, what, a second or two?), but it feels like hours of painful quiet. Kenma blinks at you and the pink that dusts his ears becomes more and more prominent each second.

“Yeah… sure,” Kenma finally says and you beam so wide that you’re sure not even the sun could battle the brightness of your happiness right now. You hand him your nearly untouched chocolate milk and his fingers brush against yours as he takes it, sipping at it cautiously like he was afraid something would happen.

(Oh my god he’s so cute.. he looks so cute… he’s drinking my chocolate milk!! He’s so-)

“Oi, Kenma! My mom told me to pick up some tomatoes from y-” The door bursts open to reveal Kuroo Tetsurou.

You freeze, since Kuroo just witnessed you passing a chocolate milk box to Kenma and the latter sipping at the straw. Kenma kind of flushes, his mouth still wrapped around the plastic straw with chocolate milk halfway up.

“Eh? Sharing drinks now?” Kuroo tsks and shakes his head, a smirk gracing his stupidly arrogant face. “You know, you two could get mono. Or any other communicable diseases. Kinda risky, you know?”

“Kuroo, stop!” You’re wildly embarrassed to be caught in this not-so-platonic situation (in your opinion, at least), before Kuroo lets out a hearty laugh.

“You know, that’s an indirect kiss!”

“Didn’t I say stop?!”

“Ah, youth. Indirect kisses! You put your mouth on the straw, then he did. Romance at its finest!”

You know, deep inside, Kuroo just likes to rile you up, but you still bite the bait. “Kuroo, shut up, please??”

And Kenma speaks up for the first time during the whole banter. “Kuro, the tomatoes are on the kitchen table. Go.”

The Nekoma captain quirks an eyebrow before shrugging and heading towards the kitchen. “Thanks. Don’t do anything risky.”

“Kuroo!”

You and Kenma awkwardly glance at each other-- you note he’s still sipping your chocolate milk-- and eventually he stands off to ward Kuroo off (who keeps chuckling for no goddamn reason).

You two are alone again, and his burnt-gold eyes stare into yours.

“Did Kuro bother you?” His ears are still pinkish, but you notice that he’s still comfortable, although you can see a sheen of sweat starting to form on his face.

“Nah... “ You force your voice to stay level. “Why does he keep doing this?? God, he’s so annyoing sometimes… it isn’t like- it isn’t like we’re dating or anything.” God fucking damn stuttering.

Kenma’s eyes widen for a fraction of a millisecond, and you almost miss it, before he clears his throat. “Yeah. Not like that at all.. let’s just go back to playing.”

The atmosphere morphs into the usual, playful one that is held between the two of you, and you’re becoming proud of how much better Kenma is at redefining conversations and shifting the mood whereas in the beginning he would struggle in topic changes.

You’re so proud of him.

(And you’re kind of in love with him.)

You have a group chat with Kuroo and Kenma, unsurprisingly.

It’s, what, midnight on a school day, and the three of you are texting. Kuroo offers a game of ‘truth or dare’, and you accept out of sheer boredom. Plus, dares are so much easier to do online because you can fake nearly anything.

kuroo >:/: kenma truth or dare

kenma :): i’m not playing

YOU: yea you are !! ur not getting out of this

kenma :): fine

  don’t say anything stupid though

kuroo >:/: so whats it gonna b???

Kenma takes a good ten seconds to respond.

kenma :): truth.

kuroo >:/: you got a crush on anyone?

YOU: oooh spicy

kenma :): kuro why

Your heart races a little bit at the comment.

YOU: oh? kenma i thought we were besties :(( why wouldnt u tell me

kenma :): it isn’t that….

  kuro you already know why are you asking me that here

kuroo >:/: for my favorite kouhai [name]-chan

YOU: fuck off kuroo we all know im ur fav bc i pay for ur boba

kuroo >:/: fair

You get impatient with Kuroo’s mindless banter, so you end up texting Kenma privately.

YOU: so who is ur crush????

kenma :): why do you assume i have one

YOU: i mean….u wouldve denied it if u didnt have one?

He leaves you on seen for two minutes and you’re about to text him and complain but his reply shoots back.

kenma :): it’s you

And your heart doesn’t skip a beat. No, it just beats even faster.

The blood is rushing to your face, you can feel it, and a smile tugs at your face subconsciously. Your brain’s running a mile a minute, and you’re so outrageously shocked and unprepared that the aftermath of it all hits you just about a minute later.

(What if he’s lying? What if someone made him say that? What if-)

YOU: fr?

YOU: kenma dont mess w me

kenma :): i’m not

kenma :): you wanted to know so yeah. it’s you

kenma :): i like you and idk kuro says it’s “more than just like” and maybe he’s right

kenma :): see u at school tmr

YOU: WAIT KENMA COME BACK ???

You cute little rat, you seeth internally, happiness still radiating off of you. Is this a dream? Oh my god. Kozume Kenma likes me.

… Kozume Kenma feels the same way I feel about him.

The next day, you anxiously wait for Kenma at your doorstep. You even woke up early and had gotten ready as soon as you could, just so you could catch Kenma ASAP.

You slept surprisingly well, despite your anxiety from Kenma, and your body was filled with energy. You check your phone every two minutes, glancing at his ‘good morning text’ and praying for another one.

kenma :))): gm i’m still walking to school with u if you want… i’ll pass by your house just in case

YOU: oh!!!! yea id love to walk to school w u :))

Silence fills your ears as you anxiously pace back and forth from your doorstep to the curb of your neighborhood. You can’t help but worry as your gaze flits across every house, begging for a sign of Kenma.

(What if you’re too late, you realize in panic. What if your efforts weren’t enough?)

But then the sound of quiet-paced footsteps snaps you out, and you look up to see Kenma, standing in front of your house, an adorably shy expression painted across his face.

“Kenma!” You hate how your voice comes out kind of squeaky and high-pitched but you don’t care right now. You practically launch off of your doorstep and bound toward him, settling by his side.

He gives you a shy, adoring look but you can see the anxiety in his eyes as he points forward in the direction of Nekoma. “We can talk while walking, right?”

You smile breathlessly and your fingers brush against his. He smiles at you, and you notice the same pink dusting his ears like when he was sharing chocolate milk with you.

Two hands intertwine and the conversation begins.

You’re in your third year of college now, out on a “boys (and girl) night out”, as Kuroo deemed it.

Kenma’s got it well-made for him, striking good on his company to which you supported him through the entire time, and Kuroo’s on his way to be the scientist he’s always dreamed of being even as a nerdy-jock kid. He claims he’s practically a professional volleyball player, too, just on the side, but both you and Kenma know better.

You and Kenma have been dating ever since your second-year in high school. Which makes it just about… four-ish years now that you’ve been dating.

(Kuroo claims that in your first-year, you and Kenma were basically dating each other spiritually, but you pay him no mind.)

The three of you are out on the beach on an autumn day. It’s pretty empty, despite the warm evening sun that casts a golden shine on the sand and ocean, so you’re all making epic sandcastles in peace.

“We should make a moat,” Kuroo says, already digging out a ring around the lopsided sandcastle.

“We haven’t even finished the castle itself!” You protest, pushing him lightly as you use your other hand to pat down the base of the castle.

Kenma packs sand into a small bucket and delicately places it on top of the half-finished sand “castle” to make a tower. You find it cute how he’s the only one putting in decent effort, so you help him out by packing in another bucket of sand. “Kuro would be a terrible architect,” Kenma comments.

“You right, you right,” You sigh out while Kuroo squawks in protest. Kenma leans on you, out of instinct you think, and you kiss the top of his head gently. Kuroo covers his eyes and complains about his youth and young love before Kenma haphazardly bumps into you. Which leads to the sand castle collapsing.

“Ah- Kenma!” you cry out in panic, sweeping the sand together in a half-hearted attempt to piece it back into a cohesive castle. “Be careful!”

“No, look,” he says quietly, a small smile gracing his face.

“You worked so hard on the base too, to make it big and flat- oh?” You sit up a little bit when you see a small velvet box in the middle of the sand pile.

Kuroo gasps very loudly and you stare at Kenma in shock.

Oh my god. What’s happening, what’s happening, oh my god-

You slowly reach out for the box in the middle of the mess and take it delicately, brushing off the sand clinging to it. Your fingers pry it open with shaking fingers and you feel Kenma place his hand on your arm gently, his gorgeous honey eyes staring at you. The same honey eyes you fell in love with.

You're also in love with the gorgeous, sparkling amber ring that sits in the middle of the cushioned box.

“[Name]. I want to be married. To you. Will you marry me?” Kenma’s voice is soft and sweet but you know with the convincing sureness in his voice that he’s been practicing this line for at least a month and he’s become confident in it.

You start crying immediately (god damn it, you think to yourself) your heart blooming with joy and your entire body feels like it’s about to explode of pure happiness.

You kiss him, full on the lips with tears streaming down your face and he kisses back, his arms wrapping around you and you realize he’s crying too. With the possibly happiest voice you’ve ever used in your life, you cry out, “Of course I will!” on the beach with Kuroo clapping in the background.

Two years later on that beach, you two become the happiest couple on Earth.

[allforhader]

All He Wanted

Barry Berkman x (F) Reader

Requested by @designersophisticate

Warnings: Langauge, Injury

Part 1 | Part 2

He hates hospitals.

He told me he had Fuches? Was that his name? Patch him up every time he got hurt...

To avoid being admitted or something.

I...never really understood it for his predicament. I did for others. But he’s a hitman, that’s not written anywhere besides Fuches mind right? Right...?

I wish I didn’t wake up today...

A nightmare should stay away from reality.

Y/N patiently waited in the living room flipping through one of Barry’s scripts. Her phone started ringing and the number was unrecognizable, knowing her husband’s line of work, she didn’t know if she should trust it. But it could be anything, so flip a coin or take a Chance nonsense. She picked it up immediately answering and everything around her went dark.

“Is this Mrs. Berkman?”

“Y-Yes?”

“This is one of your husband’s doctor. He came into the ER with a GSW.”

“I-...Uh shit uh...which hospital?” Y/N asks as she quickly grabs her coat and keys on the way out of their home.

The silence became too real. Nothing was audible and everything was pure silence...

Y/N walks into the ER seeing the commotion happening and many different cliental flooding in and out of one specific trauma room. Her heart dropped and she felt sick. A nurse approached her carefully resting her hand on Y/N’s arm to catch her attention and the silence became loud screaming commotion.

“Who are you looking for?”

“I’m sorry..Uh Barry Berkman. My husband”

“Oh okay um ma’am I’m going to have to take you to the waiting room-“

“No. I’m going to see my husband-“

“Ma’am they are currently-“

“Shut up. He’s my husband and he’s fucking hurt. You don’t get to stand in my fucking way” Y/N snaps at the nurse before maneuvering around her and heading toward the trauma room.

“Barry, this is going to be painful” His doctor states prepping him for a chest tube as the resident puts up the scans pointing out the two bullets. “Shit. Get the pressuring dressing secured while I start. This is going to hurt sir so it’s appropriate to scream at this—moment” he makes the incision before shoving a tube in.

Once stepping in, the silence returned except for the excruciating hollers coming form Barry when they inserting a chest tube right in front of Y/N. The lead doctor on the case saw Y/N and immediately got angry at the nurse that let her in.

“Mrs. Berkman-“

“Wh-What—“ Barry tried to move but the pain in his chest was overwhelming and the resident was pushing a mild sedative to calm him down when Y/N took his hand into hers.

“Barry...I-I...I’m right here..” Y/N frowns feeling the tears start to build up in the corner of her eyes.

“Ma’am, we are going to take your husband into surgery”

“C...Can I just get a minute?”

“Ma’am he has a bullet in his chest and we need to do exploratory surgery very likely even heart surgery—he doesn’t have much-“

“P-Please..just” Barry interrupts watching his doctor order more morphine. “One minute”

“Prep the OR, and have the orderly on standby when their done” The doctor states before giving the two the room.

Barry squeezed her hand looking at her ball right in front of him. He hated it when she cries because it usually meant something around his doing.

When he told her he was a hitman

The time he had to leave for a few months

Countless times of him coming home injured

But now, he can die.

She’s allowed to cry.

“Baby...” Barry frowns trying his best to keep his attention on her even if the pain has its moments.

“B-Barry...you c-can’t die...you can’t” Y/N cries feeling Barry’s hand shake in hers. “Just...p-please”

“Y/N...Hm—“ He jolts a bit taking a deep breath. “I...had a hit..”

“Barry I don’t want to-“

“Please...just” Every time the pain kicked every chance it did, Barry squeezed her hand and Y/N didn’t have the words to respond anymore.

“...I can’t lose you”

“Y/N...I didn’t...m-mean for i-i-it to ba-backfire.....” His voice cracked as he tries to tell her what happened but honestly...it’s all white noise for the most part.

“Baby...p-please look at me” Barry frowns watching Y/N wipe away a few of the running tears before looking down at him. “If-...If I make it..”

“You have to...d-dont say if..”

“If..I make it...I promise...t-this h-hitman life” He felt her hold onto his hand like its the end of the world. “is over...I-I promise...”

Y/N was about to say something when she saw there orderly walk in ready to take him to the OR. She leans over to Barry’s ear telling him something which brought up a lot of emotions between them both. Y/N retracts herself from his side so they could take him and her face burned at that point from all the crying.

“I love you Barry...”

“I-..I love you so much” Barry states as he rolled away not seeing her in his sight.

When Barry arrived into the OR he watches his doctor approach the table.

“Doc...”

“Barry we are going to have you count back by 8-“

“I-I better make it”

“You will.”

Barry frowns looking up at the ceiling.

-Hour 1-

Y/N hated waiting. She fucking always hated it. She brought her knees to her chest hugging them, waiting...

He better make it. He better make it.

The repeating phrase in her head was interrupted when the person she called finally came.

Sally. The two got close when she was told that Sally was Barry’s acting partner. There was a history but when it ended, it didn’t interfere with their friendship.

“Sweetheart what happened?” Sally frowns hugging Y/N when she got up.

“He...” Y/N started to cry all over again. “He was mugged...” she had to lie since she’s the only one that knows what he really does.

“Oh hun...”

-Hour 2-

The nurse walks away from Y/N after informing that they needed to call in the on call cardio surgeon since the surgery became more complicated.

“He’s going to make it. He’ll make it” Sally reassures wrapping an arm around Y/N.

Y/N turns around finding the others from their acting class including Gene which made her give a look at Sally.

“What? They would’ve wanted to be here to support you through this. So I called them”

“Sally-“

“Y/N Sally told us”

“Honey I’m so sorry”

“Barry’s a strong guy he’ll make it”

“We’re here for you for everything”

They were all nice to Y/N when she waited, but the feeling of wanting to be alone became overwhelming. She sat down thinking to herself as those around her comforted her.

-Hour 4-

Gene sat beside Y/N as his students talked amongst each other of the multiple outcomes that may or may not happen. He looks over to see Y/N shaking in her seat from her anxiety. She wanted Barry.

“Come on” He assures getting up from his seat and Y/N follows him.

The two stood outside taking in the actual silence of the night and Y/N couldn’t take it.

“FOR FUCK SAKE” She yells off the top of her lungs kneeling down curling up feeling the dam break.

“Y/N...”

“He can’t die...he can’t die....I love him. He’s the...t-the love of my life...h-h-he can’t die” She cries hugging herself feeling Gene rest a hand on her back kneeling beside her.

“He’s not going to die. You can’t think with that mindset”

“B-But h-h-he got shot...t-then it involved his heart? He can die-“

“Y/N. He’s been through a lot. I know you know that. He’s fought a lot of battles. Not to be literal with that but it’s true. He’s going to be fine. He has you waiting. He wouldn’t leave you behind like this. He loves you too much. Trust me”

“H-He...”

“Barry loves you with all his being Y/N. He literally doesn’t shut up about you. He loves you. You love him. He’ll pull through. You two’s story doesn’t end here” Gene states and Y/N felt better slightly but still needed a moment.

Once Y/N walks back inside with Gene following shortly behind. He advises everyone to go home to leave Y/N alone for the remainder of time waiting for the next update. And of course. They listened.

Soon a nurse led Y/N to Barry’s ICU room where he’ll be for the next couple of days. She stopped at the door looking at the wires and tubing attached and in her husband making her heartbeat faster than it should. His doctor walks in beside her to give her an update when he gave her a minute realizing she’s panicking internally at the sight leaving her body shaking.

“Mrs. Berkman...?”

“I-Uh yes...yes?”

“He made it through surgery. There was a tear in his aorta that occurred during surgery after the amount of stress his body endured. Our cardio surgeon repaired the tear and he’s stable. There wasn’t any other major injury besides what I’ve already said. Minor internal bleeding which was taken care of. He’ll be in the ICU until he’s off vent”

“C-Can I um...t-touch him...? Hold his hand...?”

“Carefully but yes” He reassures watching Y/N make her way beside Barry’s bed taking his hand carefully. “When he’s transferred into a patient room is when we can have a cot placed for you to sleep with him during the night. But for now-“

“Um. I know...I know what to do” Y/N frowns annoyed that he’s covering everything now when all she cares about is that.

He made it. He made it through.

...

A few days went by...

Y/N walks into the hospital after her shift, she hated having to go home to an empty bed and be in that personal silence for a while. But if it means Barry is recovering safely away from everything, then it’s fine.

As she makes her way to the ICU she found Barry’s room empty. Making her anxiety kick in.

“Um. Nurse?” Y/N walks over to the ICU nurse’s station catching the nurse’s attention. “Where’s Barry Berkman?”

“Ma’am he’s been moved”

Y/N started laughing nervously as her mind already started to wander. She pinches the back of her neck to personally bring her back.

“Um where?”

“Would you like me to escort you Mrs?”

“Yes...”

Following the nurse into the area where most patient rooms are set. Her anxiety settled seeing Barry’s doctor walk out of a room carrying a grin.

“Mrs. Berkman, just the person I was looking for”

Y/N gave him a confused look before walking over and seeing Barry sitting up in his hospital bed with no vent and the chest tube finally out. She walks in ignoring anything the doctor said carefully sitting on the side of his bed catching all of his attention. Barry started to cry when Y/N has been, he rests his hand on her thigh feeling hers rest on top of it.

“I-I wasn’t going to leave you alone...”

“Thank god you didn’t...”

Barry moves his hand reaching when he shouldn’t be as Y/N brought herself closer feeling his hand rest on her stomach. He couldn’t help but break down into more tears thinking he could’ve died and missed a whole other chapter in his life. Y/N moved his arm before carefully placing herself beside him in the bed resting her head on his shoulder.

“Are you going to keep your promise...?”

“I’m not missing anymore of my life with you, I’m keeping it” Barry rests his head against hers. “You and our future together is all I wanted. I’m not letting anything...interfere with that again”

[choerrypuffs]

hello! may i request barista!xiaojun trying to make medstudent!reader feel better while studying for exams but he does it awkwardly and cute?? i love your works esp. that billionaire!kun angst sksjs

anonymous said: YOUR TAEYONG AU WAS SO CUTE MY H E A R T 😁😁😁 can i request something as cute as that for xiaojun? perhaps even another neighbor au heheh–but you dont have to if you dont want to! i would just like some fluffy xiaojun :))

pairing: bartender!xiaojun x med student!reader

genre: fluff

word count: 1.6k

author’s note: two requests for xiaojun in a row, wow this really is his world and we’re just living in it 

With each page turn, you feel a little bit of your sanity leave you.

You’ve been cooped up in your dorm for the past week, studying for the absolute hell that is finals week. You’re running on four hours of sleep and hell of a lot of caffeine. Day and night have just been blending together and you genuinely have no concept of time anymore. Your roommate has been staying with her boyfriend more often, which leaves you and your misery all alone with no one to vent to.

This must be what solitary confinement feels like, you think to yourself.

Once you read the same sentence for the tenth time in a row, you finally give up and slam your anatomy textbook closed. It’s only 11:20 PM, so you decide to go out for some fresh air. Just the thought of being in this room any longer makes you feel suffocated.  

You don’t bother changing out of your sweatpants and t-shirt, simply throwing a light jacket over it. You’re not sure when you last washed your hair so you tease it up into a ponytail. Shooting your roommate a quick text (though you’re pretty sure she’s not going to see it), you grab your wallet and keys and head out. 

The night air feels cool when it hits you and you close your eyes, relishing the breeze. You begin to wander aimlessly around the neighborhood, trying to procrastinate going back as much as possible. After a while, you eventually stop in front of a bar. 

You aren’t much of a drinker because you really don’t have the time to be one. When you do drink once in a blue moon, it’s usually with your roommate on the floor of your room. Just once, you’d like to have that experience of getting blackout drunk at a bar and dealing with a nasty hangover instead of blacking out after pulling an all-nighter studying and dealing with staying awake in your 8 AM chemistry class.

Squaring your shoulders and straightening your back, you confidently push open the doors and walk in. You expect a loud club-like scene with a bunch of people dancing on top of each other, but that’s not what you get at all. The place is low-lit with jazzy music playing, and there’s barely any people here. Instead of a dance floor, there’s a big pool table in the middle of the room. The bar is all the way in the back, and you awkwardly navigate past a tipsy couple playing pool to get to it.

There’s only one person sitting at the bar, an elderly man wearing a suit. He’s chatting jovially with the bartender, swirling the drink in his hand around. You can tell by the way they’re talking that they are very comfortable with each other, and you almost feel a little bad for intruding. The bartender hears you approaching and looks up. You nearly trip over your own feet when you make eye contact with him.

He’s so good-looking that you’re honestly a little intimidated. Dark, messy hair that falls into his eyes, features that are on par with any model, and looks damn good in a white shirt with the sleeves rolled up. You kind of just want to run away, but he’s already seen you so it’s too late.

“What can I get you?” he asks, smiling politely. His nametag reads Xiaojun.

You sigh, shrugging. “Something that’ll make me forget, or take off my pants.” 

Xiaojun stares at you, clearly not expecting that answer. The elderly man laughs, a big belly laugh that makes you involuntarily smile. “Darlin’, that would be tequila.”

“Then I’ll have that,” you nod. 

“First time here?” Xiaojun asks, shooting a stern glance at the elderly man.

“How could you tell?” you joke.

“Just a hunch,” he chuckles, “anyways, I don’t think tequila is what beginners should start with.”

“I’ll drink whatever you give me. I just want to get drunk,” you respond, shrugging.

“Rough night?” Xiaojun looks up at you as he begins to make your drink.

“You could say that,” you sigh again, propping your face up on the counter top with your palm.

“I’m all ears if you want to talk about it, um…” 

“Y/N,” you supply, “and thanks. I’m sure I’ll go on some drunken tirade anyways, so be prepared.”

The elderly man is quiet as the two of you chat, a knowing smile across his face. He finishes the rest of his drink before clearing his throat, taking his brief case from the seat beside him. Placing some bills on the counter top, he says, “Anyways, I gotta get going. The missus is waiting for me back home.” 

“So soon?” Xiaojun asks, surprised.

“Yup,” he replies, “I’ll see you later, Xiaojun.” 

“Alright, be careful.” 

The man turns to leave and you wave him goodbye. He winks at you as he gets out of his seat, and you’re confused as to why but you smile at him anyway.

“Here’s your drink,” Xiaojun says, setting a glass in front of you. 

The concoction is red at the very bottom before it turns light pink at the top, like an ombré effect. You can’t help but marvel at how beautiful it is (just like him). 

“Wow,” you breathe, “it’s so pretty.” 

“It’s called Love Affair,” he explains, before turning red and immediately beginning to splutter. “U-Um, the name is weird but it’s my favorite drink, so uh…”

“Thank you,” you say, smiling at how flustered he is. You bring the glass to your lips and take a sip. It burns slightly, but you don’t particularly hate the feeling. It’s tangy, like a citrus fruit but also a little sweet. 

“How is it?” Xiaojun asks, a touch of anxiousness in his expression. 

“I like it,” you say, drinking more. 

“I’m glad,” he beams, looking both relieved and proud. 

It doesn’t take you long to finish it, and he makes you some of his other favorites. You feel the buzz get progressively stronger, and it’s only a matter of time before you’re drunk. Xiaojun can tell too because the drinks he gives you becomes more and more diluted with each glass. He’s in the middle of making your fifth drink when the rational part of your brain finally logs out.

“Do you ever feel like giving up and just becoming a homeless person for the rest of your life?” you ask, slightly slurring. 

Xiaojun looks up, amused. Your face is flushed and your hands are on your warm cheeks as you just barely manage to prop yourself up. Whether it’s intentional or not, you’re slightly swaying back and forth to the background music. You look absolutely adorable and he feels his heart rate quicken. 

“Actually, I have,” he says truthfully. “Why?”

“Well, I currently feel like that right about now,” you confess, “and it sucks.” 

“Did something particular happen?” he asks gently. 

“I’m a med student,” you explain, “and finals are coming up. I’ve been studying nonstop, but it feels like nothing is sticking. It’s just―so much is banking on these exams and I don’t know what I’m gonna do if I fail. How on Earth am I gonna pay back my student loans? What if I become one of those losers that live in their parents’ basement because they can’t get a job? What if I become a beggar on the side of the streets?” 

You don’t realize you’re crying until Xiaojun gently dabs your tears away with a napkin. You’re embarrassed but not nearly as much as you would be if you were sober. Sniffling, you try to apologize but he doesn’t let you. 

“Look at me,” he says gently, cupping your face with his hands and slightly squishing your cheeks together. His hands feel cool against your skin. “I’ve felt exactly the same before, but you know what? It’ll pass. Don’t freak yourself out. Study hard like you have been, and you will do just fine. Make sure to take breaks too. Oh, and don’t go to bars during the middle of exam season either.”

You laugh, slightly leaning into his touch. Xiaojun looks down at your lips, and for a moment, you think he’s going to kiss you before he steps back and takes his hands away from your face. You pout as he does. 

“Right,” his voice cracks and he clears his throat, “you’ve had enough drinks. I’ll call you a cab, so go home.” 

You whine, but he’s not having it. Once you realize your sulking isn’t going to work, you huff loudly and fish out your wallet. “How much do I owe you?” 

“Nothing,” he replies, “it’s on the house. As a good luck to your exams.”

You smile at him. “You’re very sweet, Xiaojun.”

He rolls his eyes, but there’s a pink tinge to his cheeks. You try to get up, but your legs feel like jelly, and you fall back into your seat again. Xiaojun immediately is at your side, wrapping your arm around his shoulders as he helps you leave. He manages to get a cab within minutes and even shoves some money in your hands for the fare. 

“For more good luck,” he says, grinning. 

You want him to kiss you so badly that you blurt, “Kiss me. For even more good luck.

Xiaojun’s eyes widen, and it’s cute, but his response is less so. “I can’t. You’re drunk.” 

Damn him for being a gentleman. 

“But…maybe tomorrow,” he promises, brushing his thumb across your cheek.

The cab driver honks, and Xiaojun quickly ushers you in the car. He waves at you as you drive away. When you can no longer see him anymore, you let out the breath you’ve been holding and lean back. You can’t tell if your face is warm from the alcohol or something else.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

Hi!! So this is an honest question so i hope it doesnt come off as rude or anything- but doesn't the thought that everything you post here can be reblogged make you more reserved or anything? Idk how to explain it but whenever i wanna post something here i think about doing it for a super long time to be sure i want it to possibly be on the internet forever- but i see you're comfortable with sharing pretty personal stuff so i was just wondering if it affected you any way or maybe it was just me?

lmaooo it’s cool!!! there’s an unending AMA going on here and off the top of my head i can’t think of anything off-limits to ask about

it’s definitely not just you!! out of the ppl i know off the top of my head i’m probably really far and away doing the Most airing my bullshit. if you ultimately don’t like the idea of stuff just kinda sitting around to be seen by Anyone, that’s valid and there’s no problem with feeling like that makes you wanna Not Post some stuff

like this is especially true for young teens on the soche media…hell i just entirely threw out the blog i’d had from like 14 -18, and not because i was particularly embarrassed or anything, it just felt mostly obsolete. you can become someone so different in even one year and that’s fine and you might not want Old Venting and the like just sitting around out there. it’s definitely okay to be real private about that kinda stuff

i know sometimes ppl having sorta Compromises where maybe they’ll create a second blog / account specifically for talking abt personal stuff, and then only maybe allow friends (or nobody) to access it; or people will just tag everything with Delete Later and then go back and delete it later so it’s not out there forever, or just because they find it embarrassing soon afterwards lol

for my part, there’s definitely multiple reasons i pretty much don’t care

1. i never used to Vent post back in the early days. but one of my earliest examples maybe was this sudden essay i dumped on my blog when i was 16? 17? abt how unhappy i was at home. it took me till i was 18 to really start to realize that what i’d always lived with was literally abuse, and it was things like The Sudden Venting Essay that really helped me put it all into words and be able to organize my thoughts enough to write about it and realize that there was a lottttt of shit i was rly miserable about2. ever since then really i’ve found that when i write about something, whether messaging it to someone or just posting it in general, a ton of times it helps me kinda make connections or figure something out or just feel like i have a better grasp on an idea.3. even after i started maybe doing the occasional venting post, for a long time i was really hesitant about it, but this was mostly b/c i felt like i didn’t have ~real~ enough problems and/or nobody would really care. as for the former, well yesterday i was saying how i still have this underlying feeling that i’m an imposter / don’t count / not REALLY as ___ as other people or whatever, so i’m still working on that, but it definitely doesn’t upset me as much as it might back in the day. re: the latter—tbh i dont care if nobody cares. i write abt personal shit b/c i care. my entire blog is About and Because i care, and if other people care, great, if they don’t, ok.4. a lot of this is about having compassion for myself. i don’t look down on other people for making personal posts, so i don’t look down on myself, either. 5. more self-compassion: there’s probably olden text posts from the early days of this blog that don’t even sound like me coz my Outer Demeanor has changed a lot these past 5 or 2 or 1 yrs. but even if i stumbled across some Old Post of mine and was like “lmfao whats up w THIS loser” it’s like….well, i’m sympathetic to my Earlier Selves. this applies to like, me never deleting Late Night Sad Posts or whatever (even tho nowadays they’re never exactly like i’m upset, maybe just Melancholy or in a mood to talk abt something saddish) coz i’m like, well, even though rn i don’t feel like i Need this post, back then i did feel like venting to feel better! and that’s fine. i don’t find that embarrassing. it’s like if you’re thirsty on one day and you drink some water and at some random point during the next evening when you’re not thirsty you think back on that time you were drinking water and you’re like “wow, embarrassing.” well clearly its not a perfect analogy but the point is sometimes you might feel you need to talk, and sometimes you don’t, and both times are ok. its not an embarrassment to have been upset6. this blog is the most personal thing in the world for me lmao its my Main social media presence, goes back five yrs, and for like. well the whole five years its been what keeps me from being way more isolated than i am. irl friends have been long distance this whole time (save a couple exceptions) and mostly my way to talk to ppl has been on here. this was especially important when i was at my parents house for a couple yrs. it was fairly awful and being able to be in touch w ppl and being able to SAY it was awful was clearly important, and i became more inclined to write abt shit rather than hold myself back b/c my being able to say anything was important7. i still talk about things b/c being able to say anything here to people in the outside world is important8. i can’t be like “i cant talk abt this b/c its not important/interesting enough” coz if i did i wouldn’t talk abt anything. i just write b/c i have things to say, and this is my pointless blog9. i don’t expect i’ll ever become Well Known in any circles. for me the more likely concern is kinda disappearing either due to dying or incarceration or some other shit scenario. the times i talk on here are good b/c that hasnt happened yet and i have the option10. even if i did become well known, i don’t really care.11. also for uh…all the times i was living in my parents house thru my life i was really really isolated. for eons i was used to nobody knowing shit abt me and keeping p much all my thoughts to myself. nowadays this blog is what lets me be able to sorta Known and Seen and able to get in touch w ppl if we wanna. basically, there’s nothing TOO personal. i’m not even trying to push myself to “overshare” coz like i said, p much nothing is offlimits. i’ve just had a lifetimes worth of being very invisible and unknown to anyone12. actually i can still be very cagey abt myself in person. learning to be more open On Here is a bit helpful for that. 13. idk that anyone else would give a shit about old vent posts from me either. when i talk abt me im talking abt *me*, its really not even vaguely interesting when removed even one degree from that specific context. 14. maybe there’s the chance some shit will happen to be Relatable to other ppl and somehow helpful to them15. for example, a lot of how i realized i was actually experiencing abuse for real was thru anecdotal / qualitative posts abt it. sometimes there’s shit you think is Just You only b/c nobody else who it applies to is talking about it yknow16. maybe making it seem less a big deal to talk abt your bullshit if i unapologetically talk abt my bullshit17. i remember my younger self feeling like i didnt ~deserve~ to talk abt my own thoughts & feelings the way other ppl did coz mine weren’t as good, so i kinda do it for them / in celebration of no longer feeling that way18. i actually like to talk. i just usually can’t. irl i very very very very rarely talk at length about myself, i don’t talk much at all. for me this is where i get to talk19. hmm i may have skipped or forgotten something obvious but hey. for now, there’s this. no-limits milo they call me

[eligrantbooks]

gotta vent about my day real quick

highlights of the day

> be professional ghostwriter.

Agreed to edit a 25000 word segment of a finished manuscript for a much loved regular client, who said the MC’s dialogue needed to be punched up. Easy enough. I figured it would take a few hours.

Was briefly excited to discover the manuscript was for a concept I had outlined and written several chapters for a few months ago.

Excitement rapidly dwindles as I realize that beloved client has hired another ghostwriter to write the majority of the book. Which would be fine, except this other ghostwriter has no fucking idea what they are doing.

Formatting is a god damn disaster and I spend several hours just getting the document into a workable condition.

You ever open a word doc, look at the navigation pane, and just see a wall of blank links, because someone applied the header formatting somewhere and then just hit enter a million times instead of using a page break like a civilized god damn human being?

in the middle of this forest of blank headers, actual chapter titles are scattered at random, and also they only applied the header to roughly one out of every five chapters or so, you know, just, when they felt like it. when the spirit took them. when the stars aligned. when the feng shui was right.

Also, apparently they like the way first line indenting looks but don’t know how to make word do that (spoiler: its easy as shit and takes like two clicks) so every once in a while they start manually hitting tab before every line, until they get distracted and stop for a while, luring you into a false sense of security before they remember and start doing it again.

Sometimes, when a scene transitions but they dont want to just end the chapter for some reason, they break it up with spaces. Other times, they like to use asterisks. Once or twice, just for flavor, they throw in one of those page width lines that word makes when you type a line of hyphens.

There is random highlighting in places, for no discernible reason.

Once I have the document formatted in a way I can bear to work with, I start actually reading through it. About the first seven chapters were written by the client. They’re cheesy but solid.

Then I get to chapter eight, and the suspicions i had begun to form while putting the formatting through traction (namely that whoever did this was a fuckwit) quickly crystallized into a shining certainty that my beloved client had mistakenly hired An Ass Clown.

Not just An Ass Clown, but An Ass Clown who thought 50 Shades was a beautiful love story, actually.

And they gave This Ass Clown, this literary reprobate, this paste eating remedial english mother fucker, my outline.

let me clarify that i did not expect to have sole control of this story when i produced the outline for beloved client, and I was okay with that. That’s how it works. If I’d been dead set on writing this myself, i wouldn’t have sold the outilne to beloved client. but it really rubs salt in the wound to have spent hours of my life crafting the bones of this story, which i really liked and was excited to see take shape

and then find out it has been put into the pie fondling hands

of An Ass Clown.

first hint that something has gone drastically wrong: the arrival of completely unnecessary and ridiculous fantasy names for things.

“oh we dont drink coffee in this book. it’s kofee. at least until three chapters from now when i forget and it becomes kofe. Oh, and watch out for those thornaby bushes! I’m going to misspell that one literally every time I use it! It’s entirely possible that this isn’t a fantasy name at all and I just have a small seizure whenever I try to type the word thorn bush!”

second omen of my impending anuerism: phonetically written accents which are so comically stereotypical and inaccurate that native speakers of that accent should be entitled to financial compensation, except they can’t even stick to the stereotype accurately, producing gems such as  “It’s not safe in that there pen with ‘em swine, young miss.” I don’t even know what accent that’s supposed to represent. To top it off these accent abominations are sprinkled in with all the consistency and reliability of a lactose intolerant cheese enthusiast’s bowel movements.

But this, I tell myself, moving on, is not my problem. I just need to punch up the mcs dialogue. It’ll be fine. I can do this. I just need to take this shit: “A fond idea, but I doubt I have that ability.” I joked. “I can’t imagine living without true sunshine. Even the triplet moons must shine less brightly without their sister sun.” and make it… not like that.

Except, and here’s where I start hitting the real roadblock guys

this book is in first person.

essentially, the entire novel is the MC talking.

So sure I can change the spoken lines, but her internal monologue

which is, i remind you, the entire narrative

her internal monologue is going to keep being maggie gyllenhal’s character from The Secretary if her copy of the script had been swapped with just a binder full of sonnets written by a middle school english class during the Shakespeare unit.

I get to chapter ten around three in the afternoon. I have been working steadily, with an unusual degree of focus thanks to my recent adderal prescription, since ten in the morning.

this is where shit begins to go truly bananas.

this is a YA beauty and the beast type fantasy

that good fun indulgent shit that’s almost as enjoyable to write as it is to read

usually. previously. before i had to endure this traumatic twelve hour experience.

Chapter ten is the first big “dinner” scene. this book isn’t being shy about pulling from the source material, but that’s fine. the beast “apologizes” (heavy quotes there) for having earlier used magic to force the heroine to answer his questions truthfully. They talk and almost seem to making progress for a bit, and then have a fight and storm off. Standard stuff.

Except, uh, the beast’s apology is, essentially “Yeah I shouldn’t have done that.” “so you’re apologizing?” “no but it’s the best you’re going to get so deal with it.”

and the headstrong, independent heroine who wears pants and wrestles pigs and dont need no man

just kinda rolls with this. There’s giggling.

They have their big dramatic fight, exit stage left, much angst and todo.

The next morning heroine wakes up to find the beast has (presumably) snuck into her room while she was sleeping and dumped a bunch of new dresses on her. he has also (apparently) replaced her brain with Bella Swan’s more vapid cousin.

She forgives him instantly. Because pretty dresses. She also starts calling him master, because why not. She has, over night, become the darling submissive Tumblr doms dream of.

This is not a bdsm book. I am eighty percent certain it doesn’t even include soft core smut. I’m telling you this so that you understand this transformation was not a contrivance in order to facilitate kinky sex. I have written a contrived set up to a sex scene or two in my day. This is not that. This is Not what is in the outline. I know, because i wrote the outline. It is My Outline.

No, The Ass Clown just… decided to do this. Apropos of nothing. I’m beginning to think the Ass Clown’s decision making process involves whipping pies at a comically large dartboard. And all the options on the dartboard are just “lol whatever”

By the time I get to chapter eleven, wherein our newly lobotomized heroine is “excited to wear a new frock and please the master!” - direct quote I have given up any pretense of editing dialogue and I am just straight up rewriting shit using the previous garbage as a loose outline.

I have eaten, maybe, three bites of a bowl of oatmeal all day. I have not taken a bathroom break since before noon. I have missed my deadline. Beloved client is concerned. I’m sure I can still do this, I just need a few more hours.

the words sound like truth but my soul knows i am a liar

I frantically restructure scene after scene, deceiving myself each time that it will be the last, and I will be able to get this crazy train back on the rails. But this crazy train has no interest in being on the rails. It’s a direct line no stops right off the edge of the cliffs of insanity.

The beast jumps unpredictably from homicidal rage and threats of violence to jokes and flirting as though he did not just declare her his property and threaten to rip her tongue out a few paragraphs ago. Heroine swoons and sighs and giggles regardless of whether she is dealing with Dr.Jekyll or Christian Gray on PCP.

But I’m still sure I can do this. I’ll just adjust these two full chapters to make her appropriately scared and angry, and then replace this weird conversation here with a heartfelt apology from him and an effort to do better. That will totally work. Unless, you know, it turns out that conversation I want to replace only starts out with them joking and laughing together, and turns into him berating and abusing her mid paragraph of a fuckin montage a page later! But, haha! Why would The Ass Clown ever do that? It would be completely irrational, tonally jarring and out of character! Only a seltzer slinging rainbow suspender-ed peanut butter fumbling son of six fucks would do that.

so of course The Ass Clown did that.

It’s eleven at night. I know when I’m beaten.

I inform beloved client that the Ass Clown has bested me and I can do no more.

She is very understanding.

I send her what I managed and I check the added word count while im at it

i added a full 6,000 words to that manuscript just trying to patch up this sloppy motherfucker’s lopsided prose and gossamer thin understanding of narrative structure

son of a bitch had about as firm a grasp of romance as i currently have on the trembling shreds of my sanity.

their grip on character writing could not be more tenuous if they had first dipped the target brand Hulk Hands which I assume they always have on their person into a barrel of adult-film-grade silicon lubricant and then taken their Leapfrog 2-in-1 Leaptop Touch down a waterslide.

Do you know how much I usually make for 6000 words?

$180.

Do you know how much I made for enduring this ass blasting, which I naively believed I could tackle in a matter of hours?

$100.

You owe me $80 Ass Clown. And I aim to collect.

Also I lost my damn mind for a minute and said the words "i dont know shit about fuck my guy” to my actual father on facebook

so there’s that.

[clandestinian]

i’ve been Thinking (pre-s8 melancholy, yk) and i’ve noticed a few parallels with klance and sacrifice. first of all, they are the only two characters who have repeatedly openly sacrificed themselves to save someone else(and in pretty dramatic ways too might i add).  also, they’ve both attempted to sacrifice themselves for each other.  keith in this case sacrificed himself for lance by joining the blade and allowing lance to keep the red lion after lance vented to him.  lance sacrificed himself for keith in a few subtler (but still valid!) ways, such as venting about leaving the team(expressing that he thinks keith is worthy of staying and not himself), and the whole vent moment in general, he sacrificed his dignity and “rivalry” to truly open up to keith in that moment.  on a more physical note, the most recent sacrifices (keith-shiro, lance-veronica) are both... uh... INTERESTING. for starters, both scenes play out the exact same way. keith and lance both have a long moment where their eyes are open and the scene seems to be centered around their eyes, making the emotions more noticeable and profound.  this is a scene vld wants you to remember.  then they both close their eyes, slowly, painfully, realizing what they must do.  so yes.  these scenes are very powerful, truly showing a moment of the familial bond and the honest nature of the character. interesting how they decided to make a parallel between lance and keith there, hmm? hahah i’ll get to that later but. anyway.  you’ve probably already noticed the familial bond wording there, yeah, these scenes are extremely family-oriented(shiro’s keith’s brother, veronica’s lance’s sister), but they also seem to describe a lot of the show, y’know? voltron is very centered on friendship, trust, teamwork, etc. and these are peak moments of loyalty, trust, and honestly, love.  lance’s love for his sister led him to sacrifice himself for her.  keith’s love for shiro (familial!!!!!im tired of this) led keith to sacrifice himself for shiro. actually, now that i’m thinking about it, love is actually one of the main focal points that separate l+k from the rest of the characters, at least at this point in the series. lance has always been outwardly flirty, but never outwardly... lovey. the only real time he’s done that was when he talked about missing his family back home(allura does NOT count for this! it was still inwardly lovey, he had no intention of sharing his feelings about allura with anyone, the mice just betrayed him. the vent w keith sadly, doesn’t really count in the “lovey” genre, although it certainly is up to “intimate”s standards). this sort of “flirty shell” to hide your feelings behind is something that’s consistent with lance throughout the show, the shell slowly losing its walls as the show continues.  One of the kickstarters for the slow dissipation of his shell was the klance vent/bedroom scene, but whatever im getting off track.  keith has been pretty hopeless with emotions in general, a direct result from his tragic past, which (dun dun duuun!) had to do with love. everyone he loved left him, even shiro, gof that fight must have been painful sorry im writing this at 3am.  ok, so.  lets go through the list just to make sure i’m right.  is allura struggling with love? no. she recently had a tussle with lotor, but she hasn’t struggled with love in the past and she’s seemed pretty okay after lotor’s death all things considered. love has not been a constant struggle in her life. is hunk struggling with love? no, he’s got shay and his fam bacj and they’re all so cutehddkj. is pidge? no, she’s been united with her family for a while now and its all p chill. is shiro? well, yes actually, but not in the sense that it’s been a constant hindrance in his life.  is coran? ...no.  all the other characters have had a run with love, but there’s still two that haven’t been satiated yet.  k+l.  //note: yes i know all the allurance stuff at the end of s7, ughdhd. however, i may have (MAY HAVE, jesus i feel like im jinxing all of s8) found some faults with those bad boys.  first of all, lets reference the klible a little bit here and state that lance doesn’t deserve to be a rebound.  he needs to be picked first for once in his life, to be shown that he’s worth it.  secondly, let’s remember how The Feud! was going to be the final episode. if it was the final episode, directly after all the allurance stuff happened, why would lance still pick keith??// ok so we’ve identified keith and lance as the only ones who still have somewhat of a love arc, and who have also had almost identical love-centered sacrifice scenes.  im going to point out the significance of these scenes again. the show is aimed for children, so when they want a scene to stick out, they will usually rely on heavy aesthetics or some drastic contrast to really grab attention. with keith we can really see the aesthetics there, lord. i dont even have to say anything. with lance they use the contrast bit, as most younger kids see lance as this fun, happy character instead of serious, solemn, and desolate. these scenes were meant to stick with you(note on this, just because they use different methods of getting your attention does not mean that these scenes are not strikingly similar. no other characters have had scenes like these. good day). and the uncanny similarities between the scenes? while both being mega important scenes to remember?  and both being love related????????????? i dont wanna get my hopes up, but i have a feeling we may be in for some klance. 

[petals42]

Can you please do some more Kent/chowder friendship body swap bc if you write like anything at all I will die happy

this is going to be an Unorganized Mess because i’m doing it right before bed because WHY NOT but here. [Note: You gotta have read this post first to make sense of this.]

So, like, as mentioned, I really want this friendship to develop after they switch back but the question is like... how?? 

In my last post I talked about how Parse would send Chowder nicer clothes (and sheets because wtf is that thread count christopher??) but i think this happened because-- wait lets go back

Okay so Chowder gets to go to the Aces/Sharks game and go backstage (not the right word for that but lets just move on) and meet people so while he is obviously ALL UP IN THE SHARKS, he introduces his family also to Kent as “and this is my friend, Kent Parson” and admist the confused stares (coming from both his family and Kent Parson), Chowder is just like “we met at Samwell!!”

And Kent Parson, who is never really referred to as a friend (more a teammate, tbh, or “ex” or “celebrity crush) has like acquired some sort of blushing instinct (he blames his time in Chowders body) because he sort of blushes and stammers (JUST A LITTLE OKAY) before finding his cool again and--

“Oh, also,” Chowder tells his little sister. “You gotta feel that inside of that sweater-- it is like SO SOFT.” and so that is actually where Kent gets his first idea to send Chowder nicer clothes (the expensive CASHMERE clothes yaknow... (sidebar: is cashmere soft? i don’t... actually know things about nice clothes)) 

But he doesn’t do it right away because like.. c’mon he’s not going to seem desperate here. He’s Kent Parson. He... they switched bodies for a little. Surely Chowder doesn’t actually want to... be his friend. 

WRONG.

Because Chowder gets on a flight and heads back to Samwell and Kent Parson gets back to Vegas (and snuggles Kit) and THEN Kent Parson gets a text.

And that text is chirping him. Hard. For his coding notes.

“Lol. Dude. Really?? These don’t even make sense!”

“I told you I was bad at it! You’re lucky I tried.”

“It looks like you gave up halfway through and started doodling hockey plays.”

“... that is actually supposed to be some zeros and ones?? he wrote them on the board??”

“holy shit.”

and suddenly kent parson finds himself sort of smiling and laughing at his phone and he would say it is one conversation but then he gets a GOOD LUCK! text before his next game and then a bunch of texts DURING the game that he sees after and then-

Then he gets a “Remember to ice your shoulder!!!” the next day and, okay, yes, it’s weird that this guy has BEEN IN HIS BODY and thus knows that his shoulder bothers him but its also... its also nice??

So Kent Parson says fuck it. And he sends Chowder that sweater he liked so much. Because Chowder is being really nice to him and he... okay he will try to have a friend. 

Note: Kent Parson trying to have a friend is a Disaster. because Kent Parson knows his weaknesses: He is bad at emotional conversations, he cannot give relationship advice, he is sarcastic and rude and-- he is not good at being Friends with someone. Chowder’s natural friendliness is something he can appreciate but has difficulty reciprocating.

But you know what he does have?

Money.

Lots and lots of money. 

And no one to spend it on.

Until now. 

Kent Parson cannot say “Thank you for wishing me good luck before my games” so he buys Chowder fancy sweaters and t-shirts and fashionable pants and sends them on over. Kent Parson cannot say “It is cool you remind me to ice my shoulder” so he also sends new sheets (accompanied by pseudo-snide remarks such as “so i dont have to lay on that sandpaper if we ever have to switch back”). Kent Parson cannot tell Chowder that texting him during the day has become something of a highlight but he CAN buy chowder that coding software he was going on about and e-mail him the product key and he also can get people on the Sharks to sign stuff and mail it to Chowder and, look, he knows that getting Chowder’s family season tickets to the sharks game would be Too Much (at least... right now) but he does offer them when chowder goes home for breaks.

Look, as they text more and more, Chowder puts up with his sarcastic sense of humor and dark moods and doesn’t seem to take it personally when kent just texts back ‘yeah whatever’ after loses.

Chowder is just plain nice to him and Kent does his best to follow Chowder’s complaints about school and tries to offer advice when Chowder admits that sometimes he feels torn between Nursey and Dex and their constant bickering and wishes they would both just stop but Kent knows he cannot actually be that helpful. Even when Chowder texts: “gosh its nice to have someone not involved that i can vent to,” kent knows that he is not adding to chowder’s life nearly as much as chowder is adding to his.

With the time difference, Kent now usually wakes up to a few texts from Chowder and Chowder thinks Kit is the devil but still doesn’t mind when Kent sends pictures of her and Chowder... Chowder sometimes ever so casually reminds him that he doesn’t actually need alcohol (”you could just go home dude. wanna play starcraft?”

Oh right. That’s the other thing. Chowder has got him into computer games. Games that they can play together. On the same time. Kent has never done it before and its embarassing to be bad at something but somehow with chowder its not so bad and he’s already promised that after the season, he is going to have much more time to dedicate to it and chowder thinks that they can get really GOOD over the summer and it becomes... their thing

When Nursey and Dex are driving Chowder crazy or Kent is actually free, the two log on and play some nerdy computer game shit (kent’s words. he keeps calling it that even after he admits he "sorta kinda likes it okay??”).

OF COURSE BECAUSE KENT PARSON CANNOT COMMUNICATE, he just keeps SENDING GIFTS. Which Chowder accepts at first, partly because he doesnt really know how much all this shit costs.

Nursey finally clues him in “dude, is that shirt fucking All Saints?” and Chowder is like “uh... what?” and that breaks the mystery and suddenly Chowder is like... wait a minute. this dude has sent me probably over a thousand dollars worth of nice ass clothes (and sheets and towels) all in the name of “In Case We Ever Switch Back.”

Not To Worry: At this point it is Summer Break. Which means that Chowder can just go, meet up with Kent in person and tell him that while he appreciates the gifts, kent should probably stop. They both now know not to wish on any shooting star anymore. They are probably good. 

So Chowder texts Kent something like “dude im home may 22nd-- when are we meeting up over break?” and Kent gets it and lowkey PANICS because like... Chowder wants to hang out with him?? And he can’t even just take him to a hockey game because the season is over?? WHAT WILL THEY DO??

Better to stay on home turf, Kent decides. He can take Chowder out in vegas and they can hit the casinos and maybe he’ll rent a limo and-- “Im free anytime” he texts back, hoping that doesn’t make himself sound lame. “when do you wanna come over?”

And then Kent Parson is thrown for a loop because Chowder ruins his plans by saying “you should come here! i’ll show you non-hockey parts of san jose! first weekend of june?? promise no one will yell at you!!” and kent... well hes not gonna say no obviously but he... he can’t take chowder to casinos if they arent in vegas and--

“Bring your laptop” chowder says. “starcraft IN PERSON”

Look this deserves a 15k fic of its own but picture: Kent Parson, nervous, awkward, feeling a little like he did when he visited the zimmermanns except not because he and chowder are just friends so there’s less... challenge and also he has grown up a little and so its just very embarassing for him and chowder’s whole family is the nicest and he sleeps in the guest room and they just-- They play starcraft. They go see a movie. They walk around Chowder’s favorite park. They drive up to the beach with Farmer. They go to an arcade. Normal people stuff. They do normal people stuff. 

And Chowder sits Kent down and is like “dude you gotta stop sending me presents like some kind of weirdass sugar daddy” and Kent does turn bright red at that one because he was kind of just lowkey hoping chowder didn’t notice but Chowder manages to make it not TOO awkward and then its just sort of a funny and Kent promises to stop (he wont really... chowder gets a new gaming computer for his birthday but kent claims that is because chowders weak ass system is affecting his gameplay but that not til later so thats okay)

MORE SURPRISING is Chowder agrees to come up to vegas to celebrate kent’s birthday on july 4th. Farmer comes for part of it (but she has work) while chowder stays for five whole days and they... they stay in kents apartment and play more computer games. chowder tries to build up kent’s tolerance for spicy food and then laughs at him when he dies. they go play hockey at the rink. they just... hang out. like friends. 

It’s weird and bizzare and THEN TO TOP IT OFF Chowder (who is a wee bit drunk at this point because they aren’t just going to not drink or gamble at all-- chowder had doubled his 40 dollars today!!) says something like “do you think we can switch back again? if we tried?”

and kent (also tipsy, but just like... tipsy. not wasted) says “uh... no?”

and chowder says “LETS TRY” and kent says “why?” and chowder says “FOR FUN” and kent says “alright if you want”

and the two stand and hug and kent thinks “alright switch back” and then he pulls back 

And look into his own face

Which is grinning at him. 

“oh my god” chowder (in kent’s body) says. “This is gonna be so fun.”

ENDING THERE FOR NOW because i’ve got to stop writing this AU. what is this. what is my life. i don’t... i don’t even go here. 

[werewolfwilds]

i redid an ask meme that i had originally done ~3 years ago to see the comparison so for archiving purposes im putting it in a lil journal entry here ! i wanna start doing small journal entries again it was fun when i did that

new answers bolded

1) what images do you have set for your desktop/cell phone wallpapers?

my desktop bg is literally just…. a collage of kageyama manga screencaps a h a,,,, and my cellphone bg are drawings some gay drew me like 74724 years ago :v // my desktop rn is actually a background from one of the dmmd routes LMFAO..... idk which one it is but i’ve always liked those bg pics!! my cell lock screen is p5 art and my bg is leopika

2) have you ever had a crush on a teacher?

nooooope // nah

3) what was your last text message?

my phone is dead so i wouldnt be able to tell you lmfao i dont even remember // it was a gif from kelly lol

4) what do you see yourself doing in 10 years?

hopefully working a job i enjoy and making costumes and being happy!! // god i have no idea and it freaks me out... hopefully working,,

5) if you could be anywhere else right now, where would you be?

hoommee ((or at katsucon tbh)) // at the beach with friends maybe

6) what was your coolest halloween costume?

a white cat probably lmao // i dont think ive ever had a particularly exciting halloween costume but one year i was sharpay from high school musical and i think i peaked then tbh

7) what was your favorite 90s show?

uhhhh….. i didnt really… start watching tv until like… the 2000′s so i really cant tell you man lol // spongebob started in 1999 does that coUNT,

8) who was your last kiss?

(answer redacted) // :/ someone should kiss me so i can change this answer lmao

9) have you ever been stood up?

nope //  nah

10) favorite ice cream flavor?

vanilla w/ vanilla oreos ok u need to underst a n d // this hasn’t changed i haven’t had this particular ice cream in a long time but i still stand by it

11) have you been to las vegas?

nahh // nope

12) your favorite pair of shoes?

idk i have these black ones i wear everywhere lol // i have a pair of white sneakers that i refuse to stop wearing now

13) honestly, have you ever cheated on your significant other?

i wouldnt even consider it. // no bc i’m not a piece of shit lmao?

14) what is your favorite fruit?

hmmm…. pineapple orrr…. strawberries but only if they’re the really good kind like they have to be perfect // pineapple!!

15) have you talked to anyone on tumblr that you could see yourself  dating/having sex with? if possible?

….. ye s… yes. // in the past apparently so but thinking about it now nah lol

16) are you into hookups? short or long term relationships?

hookups arent my thing eh i prefer long term relationships altho i cant really say ive been in a “long” term relationship pffff // i don’t think hookups will ever be my thing, emotionally long term relationships are what i’m here for but i’m also a Very Impulsive Person so i cant tell you if this will stay a fact :’)

17) do you smoke? if so, what?

nope dont wanna // no thanks

18) what do you do to get over your anger?

usually talk to people or shout into word // i have to vent about it to someone probably a thousand times even months or years after it happens tbh

19) do you believe in god?

nahh // nah

20) does the person you’re in love with know it?

i aint in love with anyone rn so no? // i’m not in love with anyone.

21) favorite position?

………….. for w hat………. // oh honey lmfao... N/A

22) what’s your horoscope sign?

virgo/ox ovob // Virgo/sun, Aries/moon, Libra/rising and Cancer/midheaven

23) your fears?

literally everything i already named a few so ill name some others… ghh anything in… the ocean or lakes and stuff frightens me and i really dont know why bu tlike…. fish and crabs and jellyfish and seaweed cuz it’s evil and stu f f basically anything that’s not a mammal or turtles or penguins…. lo l im a baby // uncertainty is a big fear of mine and also people being mad at me lmao... as far as physical fears though i have debilitating fears of almost all insects/arachnids and lobsters/shrimp/crawfish :^)))))

24) how many pets do you have? what kind?

two cats and a dog!! // one cat one dog

25) what never fails to turn you on?

i dunno,,/////// // lol neck biting/kissing oof

26) your idea of a perfect first date?

im okay with mostly anything i just really like spending time with the person ; v ; // i’ve never really had an answer for this? thinking about dates has always made me so anxious for whatever reason but i’ll be happy to just spend time with them doing whatever honestly, i’m a super indecisive person aha

27) what is something most people don’t know about you?

i dont really know tbh lmfao // i’ve considered in the past looking into mental conditions (anxiety/bpd/etc) to see if i might have one or two but i never want to say anything about it because i don’t want to self-diagnose anything.

28) what makes you feel the happiest?

nice weather and nice conversations w/ best people u//v//u // nice weather and hanging out with people who are fun and easy to talk to

29) what store do you shop at most often?

does….. arda wigs count or… // does arda wigs still count bc mood lmao but truthfully now it’s probably target

30) how do you feel about oral? giving and/or receiving?

kkdkjsfkjkjfj??fsfj/// go for i t??? i have no problems with i t??? i dont think ill ever be willing to put a dick in my mouth though // these random sexual questions thrown in here are something aren’t they lmao. not going to disclose much but i will stand by the fact that i will not put a dick in my mouth lo l

31) do you believe in karma?

sometimes ye // i believe that people will eventually get what’s coming to them but i don’t believe in karma as a solid concept if that makes sense? like i don’t think it’s guaranteed

32) are you single?

yup yup // yeah it’s been wild lmao

33) do you think flowers or candy are a better way to apologize?

i think being sincere is the best way to apologize– if you truly mean it the person will know. you dont need to buy your forgiveness. // the best way to apologize is just to apologize sincerely and change your behavior if it’s applicable.

34) are you a good swimmer?

ehh??? im ok i guess– i took swimming lessons as a kid but i havent done legit swimming ever since then lmao,, ive always been best at the backstroke tho yea // i mean i have the ability to swim but i’m not olympic-worthy or anything lmao

35) coffee or tea?

ehhh im not big on either tbh // chocolate milk and you can fight me

36) online shopping or shopping in person?

depends what your shopping for i guess?? online is more relaxed i guess // online probably because shopping in person Gives Me Anxiety

37) would you rather be older or younger than your current age?

ehhh im happy where i am tbh // older

38) cats or dogs?

do not make me choose // cats and dogs* there i fixed it for you

39) are you a competitive person?

ahaa,,,,, oh god yeah,, // OOF yeah

40) do you believe in aliens?

i believe there’s life on other planets somewhere?? so i guess?? // i believe in aliens in the sense that there’s no way we are the only living life forms in the universe but not in the science-fiction way you feel me

41) do you like dancing?

i do but i suck at it lmao // i do but i: A- suck, and B- have no stamina

42) what kind of music to you listen to?

nearly everything tbh // i’m not picky when it comes to music but imma be real w u. almost all of the music on my phone is kpop. seventeen is my favorite group along with astro, and i also enjoy super junior, shinee, red velvet, etc among so many others,,, im pretty wide spread !

43) what is your favorite cartoon character?

i will never be able to pick just one // i’ll literally never be able to answer this

44) where are you from?

philadelphia uvu // philly!

45) eat at home or eat out?

hmmm at home. // at home

46) how much more social are you when you’re drunk?

i never plan on being drunk tyvm // i’ve never consumed alcohol in my life and to be Quite Fucking Honest i want nothing to do with it

47) what was the last thing you bought for yourself?

bracelets ! ; u ; // uh... excluding food and music... earrings i think

48) why do you think your followers follow you?

uhhhhhhh lmfao i have no idea i think… a good amount are for my cosplays at least?? or id like to think so lmfao but i really dont know pfft // my followers have just accumulated and hung around over the years... i know i gained a good amount from my snk days as arlert-the-troops and then through my haikyuu phase, whether it was for my cosplay or other posts that i made... whenever someone follows me now im not entirely sure what its for but i appreciate everyone who’s stuck around!

49) how many hours do you sleep at night?

it’s never regular man // 6-9 (lol) hours is pretty normal for me

50) what worries you most about the future?

everything tbh // the future as a concept worries me lol

[goodknightz]

Get to know me better! :D

Rules:  Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people 

Requested by:@mewringo13​

Uh... I dont really have anyone to tag... so I’m tagging the majority of my followers x) : @dancemuffndance @kyushaenigma @cpurubyheart @katelynfeliciano @camspazz @goblinneko @angeldrinksgreentea-blog @forsythefrontier @megan-elith @raygirlforeverbe @mxduki @sky-aniu @winterwholocks-superchildren

Ready? Set? Go!

THE LAST: 1. Drink: Iced Tea. 2. Phone call: Chinese Take Out x) 3. Text message: My boss asking me to go in early Dx 4. Song you listened to: Schmoyoho’s Love is Like Drugs 5. Time you cried: Umm... I legit can’t remember. I think last time I really cried hard was when my old dog passed away. HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: No 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Nope 8. Been cheated on: Not really 9. Lost someone special: Too many ;~; 10. Been depressed : An unbelievable amount of times 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Only once. I drank way too much when I was venting with my brother. I think I drank half a bottle of tequila by myself. x(((

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: Blood Red, Royal Blue, Electric Green IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: I’ve made a couple 16. Fallen out of love: Yeah Dx. But it was my fault for falling in love so easy to begin with. 17. Laughed until you cried: Hmm, I tend to do that a lot when watching videos with friends xD. 18. Found out someone was talking about you: Many times at work. They think they’re being so quiet >.> 19. Met someone who changed you : For sure. Any new friend I make changes me, if just a bit ♥ 20. Found out who your friends are: I’ve always known who my friends are. Anyone who i feel is just playing me I just stop talking to. I don’t play around. 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Yeah, just one 

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: The majority of my list. I usually dont add people I dont know unless they know my family or friends to begin with. 23. Do you have any pets: A 1 year old Shi-Tzu and a 30+ year old land Turtle. 24. Do you want to change your name: No. Personally I feel your parents gave your original name out of love. Its disrespectful to want to change it. 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: My family took me out to eat at a buffet, then bought me an ice cream cake. Aside from that just chilled in my room talking to friends online. It was a blast. 26. What time did you wake up: Oh boi... I went to sleep late so I woke up at 1:00pm xD 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Talking with a friend and watching videos. 28. Name something you can’t wait for: I’m looking forward to getting the items I bought off amazon. Silver Hair Wax that changes your hair color to silver (easily washes off), Charcoal Toothpaste that apparently whitens your teeth a lot faster than other whitening toothpastes, and a Hario Technica Coffee Syphon x) 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: Today, like 5 mins ago 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: Hmm, I used to be extremely shy, so if anything I’d just like to have come out of my shell a bit faster :). 31. What are you listening to right now: Shinedown’s Album The Sound of Madness. 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Umm... in real life I actually don’t think so o~o. However I’ve talked to a youtuber called Tom Fawkes Online x). 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: People at work are constantly getting on my nerves. Wish there was less drama in the world. 34. Most visited website: Probably Youtube. 35. Mole/s: I’m actually infested with moles xD. None really big, but I do have bunch all over my body, not even I know how many I have xD. 36. Mark/s: Quite a bit of marks. Stretchmarks on my arms and legs from when I used to do weights in highschool. Strethmarks on my stomach from getting tubby. Scars on my arms, legs, and chest from work, soccer, and football. As well as bite marks from when a family dog attacked me. 37. Childhood dream: I wanted to be a dad. Always thought it was rude that my family laughed at it. But when I matured I understood why they thought it was funny hehe x). 38. Hair color: Brown, although it looks black when wet. I’m starting to grow a couple white hairs though x-x... stress plz... 39. Long or short hair: I like my hair short and tidy :) 40. Do you have a crush on someone: I do, but I don’t know how she feels about me >.< 41. What do you like about yourself: I’m open minded, rational, caring, and straightforward.  42. Piercings: None 43. Blood type: A+ 44. Nickname: I’ve had many o.o. My family called me teddy bear when I was a kid. When I was in elementary other kids called me Chili since I was from mexico. During my edgy phase on highschool I wanted to be called Zero or Dragon. Nowadays all my friends just call me Bro. xD 45. Relationship status: Single ;~; 46. Zodiac: Leo (leader of the Zodiacs :> hehe) 47. Pronouns: To describe me? He/Him Himself/Myself Someone/Somebody 48. Favorite TV Show(s): Oh god way too many. As far as anime goes I’ve rewatched Slayers like 4 times. As far as actual TV shows, I watched a lot of X-Files and Bones growing up. 49. Tattoos: None. I think they’re very cool. Might get one myself one of these days. Whenever I stop being terrified of needles. 50. Right or left hand: I’m right handed. 51. Surgery: I think I’ve never had surgery for anything. Unless Dental Work counts. I had work done of my front top 2 teeth. 52. Hair dyed in different color: Hmm when I was younger there was a hair gel I was using that would change your hair color to blonde over time xD. Aside form that I kind of wanna dye the front part of my hair red. Felt inspired by Markiplier’s many color changes xD 53. Sport: As a kid I played a lot of Soccer and American Football. Aside from that I really loved swimming. 54. ??? This number was missing so... let me invent one. Random interesting fact about yourself, go!: I never studied much in high school and still passed as an AB student. xD   55. Vacation: The last real vacation I had was going to San Diego a year ago to visit a friend and go to Warped Tour x) 56. Pair of trainers: I actually had no idea what this meant so I had to look it up Dx. My favorite type of running shoes have been my Puma Reverbs

MORE GENERAL : 57. Eating: Cookies 58. Drinking: Still Iced Tea xD 59. I’m about to: Go get ready and go out to eat some Ramen and Sushi x) 61. Waiting for: 5 o clock so that Nama Ramen Opens  62. Want: To win the lottery so I don’t have to worry and enjoy life as it was meant to... But more realistically I want a better job so I can afford to do different things. 63. Get married: For sure. I want to make someone very happy x). 64. Career: I work as a shift manager at a pizzeria. However, I want to move up and find something better with the experience I’ve gained working with people. Eventually I want to go back to school to finish my degree on computer programming.

WHICH IS BETTER:  65. Hugs or kisses: Hugs are nice, but kisses are much more intimate ;3 66. Lips or eyes: Eyes for sure. 67. Shorter or taller: Shorter  68. Older or younger: I prefer younger x)  70. Nice arms or nice stomach: Hmm... I’d have to say stomach. 71. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive for sure 72. Hook up or relationship: Relationship duh. Hook ups are for people who aren’t serious about each other. 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Not actually sure. I think hesitant is better over someone that just makes trouble for fun. HAVE YOU EVER : 74. Kissed a Stranger: No 75. Drank hard liquor: Yes, prefer it over beer. 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: Don’t own either... but I might have to get glasses soon. 77. Turned someone down: Yeah, twice. I didnt feel good about myself for doing it, but I didnt see myself with those people. 78. Sex on the first date: Not likely. But who knows, might be a hell of a date xD. 79. Broken someone’s heart: Hopefully not. 80. Had your heart broken: Oh yeah, multiple times. At this point I’ve just adopted the mentality of doing my best and having no regrets when asking someone out. 81. Been arrested: Never, but I was stopped once for speeding. (a whole 5 miles per hour more... thanks rando sheriff, I thought it was BS but I wasnt gonna argue with the cop) 82. Cried when someone died: Yes and No actually. Theres been so many deaths around me that hearing about someone I knew dying doesnt affect me as much. Its just part of life. I’m sad that they’re not around anymore, and I’ll miss them very much. But its just a part of living. 83. Fallen for a friend: Yeah... x3 DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: Yeah, if I dont believe in myself who will. 85. Miracles: Depends on what is meant by miracle. I believe in multiple efforts made by everyone to make something happen, over something like divine intervention. But regardless yes, I do believe miracles can happen. 86. Love at first sight: Although its very rare and not likely to work out, I do like to believe that it can happen between people that live in the moment. 87. Santa Claus: Of course! Not in the concept of the old man spreading gifts across the world in those who believe in him, but more on the idea that if you’re good and behave all year long, a day where you get rewarded for all that effort exists. 88. Kiss on the first date: If the date went well and the mood is right, I dont see a problem with receiving/giving a kiss. But its not something that should be expected as a standard.

OTHER : 90. Current best friend name: My friends JusticeRider and Grayfox07, because they’re always there for me. Honorable mentions are Fiona and Hannah :) 91. Eye color: Milk Chocolate :3 92. Favorite movie: Thats a good question. If we go by whatever movie I’ve rewatched the most, It’d have to be Space Jam since I watched it a lot as a kid. However, the latest movie I watched and enjoyed was Gantz: O. Had a lot of fun watching it with my friend Grayfox xD.

[japanesesable]

can you please answer all of the questions🙏

Holy shit. Yeah sure wow haha. Sadly I haven’t been on a date since the last ask though so just keep that in mind. I’m really inexperienced for an 18 year old whoops. 

1. describe your idea of a perfect date

Maybe a carnival/fair? OH or a planetarium?????? That sounds pretty snazzy. Anything but a movie tbh. 

2. whats your “type”

Female. I honestly don’t know though. For awhile I mostly liked androgynous/soft butch girls but I mean femme girls are great too?? And like… all girls in between??? Girls are great?????? Idk this is too hard. 

3. do you want kids?

YES

4. if you do, will you adopt or use some other form of child birth?- answered!

5. describe the cutest date you’ve ever been on- answered! 

6. describe your experience having sex for the first time (were you nervous? or was it easy peasy?)- ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, I’m a virgin. 

7. are you a morning time gay or night time gay?

Night time. I mean PREFERABLY would I want to be a morning time gay? Yeah sure.. but that doesn’t stop me from staying up until 4/5 am every night. 

8. opinion on nap dates?- answered! 

9. opinion on brown eyes?

Fucking stunning??? They’re so warm and beautiful I love them. 

10. dog gay or cat gay?

Probably dogs. I looooove cats but I need a clingy as fuck animal. I need to know I’m needed lmfao. (Also I like playing rough and the with playful doggers.)

11. would you ever date someone who owned rodents or reptiles?

Yeah?? All animals are great. I would probably be wary if it was like a tarantula or something. 

12. whats a turn off you look for before you start officially dating someone

If they don’t really get my sarcasm/sense of humor… This is an official callout post to some of the girls I’ve spoken to on Her geez. 

13. what is a misconception you had about lgb people before you realized you were one?

I thought being gay was a terrible and gross thing to be. I don’t know if that counts?? But I only saw gay used as an insult on youtube. My parents never explained it to me so that was my first encounter with the term gay. God youtube also got 11 year old me saying lesbo and f*g before I even realized what it meant. ALSO jenna marbles made this one video called Girl Crush (i think) and when I was curious about my sexuality I found that. I thought all girls just weren’t attracted to boys and my crushes on girls was just a normal Straight thing to do. I mean that only repressed it until I was 14 until I called bullshit but still. That was more of a misconception about myself but I think it counts because I am a L person in the lgb. 

14. what is a piece of advice you would give to your younger self

Listen man don’t stress too much about your sexuality. I know you feel like you’re lying to yourself and everyone around you if you don’t know EXACTLY who you are at this moment.. but you’ll figure it out. It’ll be fine and you won’t feel uncomfortable about it eventually. ALSO FUCK NICOLE YOU DON’T NEED HER SHE NEVER LOVED YOU. 

15. (if attracted to more than one gender) do you have different “types” for different genders?- not applicable 

16. who is an ex you regret?

I’m gonna say an ex-crush- Nicole because fuck her. 

17. night club gay or cafe gay?

Probably night club; they sound really fun and I can’t wait to go to one. 

18. who is one person you would “go straight” for

pffffffffffffffffftttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt no one. Plus I would “go” bisexual if anything?

19. video game gay, book gay, or movie gay?

Moviesssss!!

20. favourite gay ship (canon or not)

Pricefield from Life is Strange. 

21. favourite gay youtuber

I like watching Shane Dawson sometimes. (He’s bisexual though.)

22. have you ever unknowingly asked out a straight person?

Nooope. I’ve never asked anyone out period. I’m a coward. :)

23. have you ever been in love?

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm idk. One sided love is a thing right? If it’s supposed to be mutual then no. 

24. have you ever been heartbroken?

yea

25. how do you determine if you want to be them or be with someone

OKAY SO LIKE USUALLY I DONT GET THIS WHOLE THING. Like I’m usually just gay for people?? Like maybe I’ll like a certain feature of them that I want but I never wanna BE someone. If I like someone that much I probably just wanna be with them. 

26. favourite lgb musician/band

MY QUEEN HAYLEY KIYOKO I SAW HER IN CONCERT AND IM LOVE HER??

27. what is a piece of advice you have for young / baby gays

Figuring yourself out is a long process that you don’t need to rush. Feelings are hard to sort out and may take years. It’s okay to figure out something new about yourself and change your label. There’s no penalties in life, I promise. ALSO! Stay safe please. Don’t come out if you’re not comfortable. You’re not any less apart of this community if you’re not out.  

28. are you out? if so how did you come out

I mean yeah I’m “out.” Not to everyone I’ve ever known but to most of the people who matter. Stop here if you don’t wanna read every coming out story lmao. 

My first time actually coming out was in 9th grade. I told these two girls and they were totally fine with it. (one is still one of my best friends…. my other best friend now didn’t take it well since she’s religious. She tolerates it.) Then I told this other girl I was friends with and it was a disaster. Nicole was a fucking bitch and I’ll never forgive her. My mom found out because I was dropping hints and she asked me. She was totally fine with. I told my sister and she said she knew. I still don’t know how. Now fast forward almost 3 years… I tell my dad. It wasn’t great. He doesn’t “get” it and thinks he failed me somehow as a dad. But he said it was fine eventually but we still don’t generally speak about it. I told my grandma right after my dad a few months ago with a gay joke. She took it BAD. She said I’m not old enough to know what I want. She still refers to me marrying a man in the future. 

ANNNNND That’s all folks!

29. what is the most uncomfortable / strange coming out experience you have

My grandma’s was the most uncomfortable. My other best friend was kinda strange. (The one who took it kinda bad.) I was venting to her how Nicole yelled at me for coming out and I completely forgot I never told her I wasn’t straight. It was super awkward when her eyes widened and she said, “Uh.. wait, you’re not straight?” and then I realized my mistake. 

30. what is a piece of advice for people who may not be in a safe place to express their sexuality

As I said before, above all else STAY SAFE!!! That’s the number one priority for you. I know you want to express every wonderful part of who you are, but if there’s any possibility of having to face negative consequences while doing so… do not do it. Wait. Wait until you’re out of the toxic and unsafe environment. Also maybe find an outlet online? Tumblr or LGBT youtube usually did the trick for me. (Of course erase the browsing history haha). Always remember you’re not alone, even if it feels it. 

Okay…… that’s all of them wow. You’re amazing if you read even like a portion of that. Okie dokie thanks to the anon!!

[spocksaestheticblog-blog]

so i wrote some NATM fanfiction starring my two favorite morbid egyptian shitpost brothers ft. a very tired larry daley and also the police. and the assumption that its the franklin museum bc tbh im in PA and honestly, its definitely the franklin museum. no one gives a fck there. its in philly. no ones gonna bat an eye if a neandertal homeless lookin dude bursts into dust in the street.

it goes along with these two arts if anyones wondering

this is probably just chapter 1 but i dont know if im really gonna write more, honestly a lot of this is just vent for my own trauma so take that with a grain of salt, and dont expect this to be. good. or coherent.

content warning for CSA references and self harm, foul language.

The young pharaoh wakes up to the familiar voice of Larry Daley, letting out a few deep coughs as he clears the dust from his lungs and brushes centuries old sand from his robes. “Ahk, I know we talked about this before, but I want to make sure you’re prepared, because I think one of the mummies in the new exhibit might be. Your brother.”

“…Oh! Where are they kept, then?! I haven’t seen him in many an age!” Akhmenra leaps out of his sarcophagus, only to have Larry put a hand out to stop him in his tracks.

“…You heard me, right? Your brother. The one that you told me held a pillow over your head while you were trying to sleep.”

Akh winces, suddenly regretting telling Larry about that. “…Too dark? It happened in Egypt all the time. I’m sure he had a reason. I would have done the same thing, probably. Maybe.”

Larry levels him a patented Look, but Akh waved it off, bouncing in place. Eventually, Larry caves and leads him down the hall, only to have someone round the corner and smack directly into Larry, knocking him to the ground. The figure brushes back complicated, gold-ringed braids that end in golden bird feet, coughing and trying to speak.

“Hhhhheh. Hkhkk- hehk- hh. Hello.”

Akhmenra’s eyes widen at the sight of his brother in the flesh, bound in linens just as he himself was, scars peeking out behind braids along the back of his neck, only slightly paler than he had been in life. Even so, he still proved to be tanner than Akh, kohl smudged into the deep crows feet around his eyes only accentuating this fact.

“Hey, yeah, I’m Larry. I’m not sure we’ve met…?”

Kahmunra. He was actually here.

“…Oh. Okay. Hyeah… I remember you.” His voice is rough, but smooths out slightly the more he speaks, lisp ever present as usual. “…You tfhwarted my plans! My uh, evil plans, heh! Army of the dead and all that…”

Akhmen can’t help but run up and hug the older Egyptian, despite their history. Even when Kahmun flinches, he drags his brother to a bench and sits him down, immediately occupying the spot next to him. “How did you get here?! Do you remember anything else? Tell me everything!”

Kahmunra looks…slightly paler at that, wincing, but gesturing as he begins to describe his adventures as a wax dummy. “Honestly, it washnt that interesting. Shpent a lot of time in shtorage watching videos, mosthly.” He pulls his arm back when he’s noticed the bandages aren’t covering his wrist, so Akh only gets a glimpse, but it almost seems like his arm has…stripes. Something.

He watches as Kahmun jumps to his feet. “Hey, I heard ththhhat- that there was a groshshs- grocers nearby! Wwh why dont we go there? I hhavent eaten in centuries!”

Larry rolls his eyes, even as Akh looks rather surprised at the sudden outburst. It seems Larry is far more used to catering to the whims of every single museum member, and at this point he’s just numb to it and going through the motions. The young pharaoh, at least, has the understanding to know that Kahmun typically hates public spaces and anything that requires too much effort, and he certainly hasn’t been awake here long enough to know about anything in the immediate area.

“I suppose we could head to the Trader Joe’s before it closes. I’m pretty loaded, so. Go nuts, I guess. We should probably get you something to wear on top of that, first, though.”

Kahmunra barely gives them time to blink, making a beeline for the locker room. He’s out in under a minute, wearing sweatpants and ill-fitting sneakers with a jacket that looks far too big, hanging haphazardly over one linen covered shoulder like a fashion statement. “A’right, less’go, time waitsh for no one!”

It’s actually a shorter walk than he expects, but he’s still nervous about someone recognizing them from the museum, especially since he wasn’t given any time to change out of his own royal robes. Kahmun’s assurances that everyone assumes they’re actors is not much comfort, and he really isn’t looking forward to any sort of questions about his job at the museum even if that is the case. He’s not even sure why Kahmunra insisted on leaving the museum in the first place, and he certainly doesn’t want to ask, but Larry doesn’t seem to mind escorting both of them, so he shrugs it off.

There’s less people here than he thought. A few stragglers give him some odd glances here and there, but for the most part, it’s almost empty, and no one bothers them. He starts to worry, though, because Kahmun is simply staring blankly at a box of cereal on the shelf, looking vaguely lost. When he places a hand on his brother’s shoulder, Kah finally speaks, voice low and soft.

“I didn’t mean it, you know. I jusht. I-I didn’t mean it. Yhyou know that, right?” Akh opens his mouth to respond, but Kahmun wanders farther down the aisle like a frightened animal when Larry approaches. Akhmenra jolts slightly as Larry pulls him aside, giving him a confused look as he does so.

“Ahk, he MURDERED you. Do you really trust what he says? You don’t know he’s not lying.”

Larry’s grip on his arm is tight, almost painfully so, as he eyes Kahmun suspiciously from around the corner of the aisle. Akh can see from here that his brother is hiding behind a display case, trembling and avoiding his gaze, looking as if he wants to crawl into the shelves and die. Akh pries Larry’s fingers off of his arm, watching the pale handprint fade from his skin as blood flows back into it.

Without even blinking, Akhmenra slaps him immediately, almost as hard as he possibly can, right palm stinging painfully from the force of it. It’s the only thing that he’s really properly felt in a long time, and he hates it.

“…You don’t know what it was like. For him, or for me. You weren’t THERE. This isn’t something you could possibly contextualize! Don’t TALK to me. Don’t even LOOK at me ever again. I don’t want to see you any more.”

By the time he turns his head to check on his brother, he’s already gone. Distantly, he registers the sound of the automatic doors at the front of the store, and he bolts. This has happened before when they were alive, but never when he’s been close enough to do anything about it. He follows his brother’s footsteps almost instinctually, even when that leads him up a fire escape to the roof of a building, even when his brother is faster, even when he sees a sliver of still-lingering color in the sky, despite sunset having been an hour ago. It’s too early for this. It’s far too early for this.

He stops in his tracks. Kahmun isn’t anywhere near the edge of the roof, so… So what is he doing? Is he okay? Are things okay now? Maybe he just needed space? A million thoughts race through his head as he hesitantly approaches the roof access pillar that his brother is hiding behind. He can’t stop trembling, the residual adrenaline leaving him weak and nauseous.

The panic comes back full force as he rounds the corner. Where did Kahmun even get a knife? Who let him have a knife? Why would…Who would…The sight of blood is too much. It’s far too much. Akh finds himself wrenching the knife from Kahmun with more force than necessary, tossing it far over the edge of the building.

Kahmunrah slumps against the brick wall, eyes unfocused and lids heavy. He sobs openly.

Akhmenrah had never actually properly seen Kahmun’s arms without the linens. He desperately wraps linen around the fresh, deep gashes that bled too fast for his comfort, cutting off circulation. But below those are older scars, he sees now, thousands of them, more than he can count, raised skin like ridges along most of his arm. How long… How long had this been going on? Akh knew about the scars on his back, where the linen sat loose around his collarbone and raised, scarred flesh had always been prominent up the back of his neck. But those were not so obviously self-inflicted.

These scars, these were the kind he’d only seen before on a handful of teens that wore long sleeves in the middle of summer. The ones that strayed to the back of the group, the ones that avoided eye contact. He used to chat with them the most, because they always looked so empty and sad, but he had never…understood.

“…I know it was an accident. I know. I’m here now. It doesn’t matter any more. It never mattered. Please…Please don’t ever- You do not deserve this. Fuck, our parents deserve this, but not you. Not you. You did what you could. Please…Please don’t die. You deserve better.”

He watches his brother turn away slightly, no longer sobbing, instead letting hot tears roll down his face silently as he stares at the ground. He says nothing, and Akh almost wants to shake him to make him believe, hands still wrapped around the wound.

“…D-do you want to go to a hospital? We could- I could. I could just.”

“…I want to go back to the museum. To my sarcophhagus. I want to sleep,” Kah holds up his free hand in surrender as Akh opens his mouth, “-Just sleep. Jusht a nap. Just a quick nap. I’ll- I’ll be okay…” Kahmun laughs, and Akh swallows loudly, trembling still. “…This isn’t even the most blood I’ve ever losht. It’s barely anything. Don’t worry.”

Akhmen can’t even hold it in any more. He sets his forehead against Kahmun’s and wails. He sobs openly as he remembers all the moments in his childhood he tried to forget, tried to bury under dark humor and amusement and authority. He’d watched countless Jews beaten to death by his father’s hands when he was but a child, remembering vividly the face of one of them trying to reassure him, a five year old child, holding what was soon to be a corpse. He remembers being eight and barely being able to breathe from the inside of a pot, fingers burning from the scrapes he’s gotten trying to move the lid, falling still only when he hears pained screaming that he only dimly recognizes as his brother. He remembers the one time he finally managed to raise the lid of his prison, only to shut it again in horror as, for a brief moment, he glimpses nudity and blood through the crack of light. For all of his lifetime he’d assumed his brother was simply trying to torture him, that he’d been playing tricks on him all this time. But he knows what he saw. He knows, and he’d denied it, and he’d pretended all this time that it wasn’t real.

It’s fucking killing him. He knows, now, or maybe he had always known. Kahmun was…hiding him. From this. From whatever this was… And he had hated his brother for this all his life. He’d told people, actual people, that his brother had killed him out of malice. That it was an act of spite and hatred.

“It… It wasn’t an accident. It was never an accident. I couldn’t… I couldn’t let you live like this. I knew what the tablet was, I couldn’t…I couldn’t let you figure out how they made it. I couldn’t let you live like that. I couldn’t live with that. I couldn’t. I couldn’t look at that. I knew. I knew and I let them do it because I was selfush, I. I thought I could take it and mhmaybe this time would be… Maybe it would be differnht. But- But it isnh’t differint at all.”

Akh’s hands drop to his sides loosely. He wants Kahmun to stop talking. He wants to beg Kahmun to stop talking. He can’t handle this, he has no means of processing this, and he cannot handle this knowledge, this torment. Most of all, he desperately wants to feel some sense of betrayal, some sort of pity, anything else other than the intense shard of empathy that feels like hot knives through his blood.

“…I. I wanted to live. Not jusht…Live. I wh- to- I wanted to be okay. I wanted to be okay, just this once. I thought it would be okay if I cccould jusht. I deserved better! I deserved better and I ththought if I lived again that maybe everything wouldn’t… I thought it wouldn’t hurt. I thought everyfhing would be…Okay. I thought… I didn’t know… I…”

Please. Stop. Talking.

For the love of Ra, please stop talking. Anything. Please. Don’t let me hear this.

“…I didn’t- think. I didn’t think the tablet would wake him up. I thought he’d be dead. I thought things would be okay thhis time.”

Akh wishes he’d stayed dead. He wishes he didn’t know. He wishes they were both dead. He doesn’t know what to wish for. His brain scrambles for some semblance of hope or happy outcome or any shred of decency in the immediate future, but nothing is there. Instead, he grasps the wound again, properly wrapping it this time so, hopefully, Kahmun won’t lose any more blood.

“I knknknow you dduhn. nn. nh. srv- dhshr- you’re more worth this thhan I am. Yhhhyou deserved a life. Bhut this is the best I could do. I. I wanted you to have shshomenthing where you would be safe. Not…”

Akhmenrah frowns gently, holding up a hand. “…Kahmun. You need to stop talking. You’ve lost blood.”

“…I kknow. M’sorry bout th…The mess.” Kahmun coughs slightly, more out of embarrassment than anything else, clamping the hand of his good arm on his brother’s shoulder so he can use the leverage to pick himself up. Akh reaches a hand up weakly, as if to stop him, then lets it fall as Kah manages to stand on his own, looking none the worse for wear despite the paleness and the blood.

They both walk back to the museum in silence.

Akh’s feet stop moving when he feels an arm against his chest. When he looks up, there’s at least two police cruisers in front of the museum, and quite a few officers. Kahmun gently hooks his good arm around Akhmenra’s, tugging him backwards through the dark alleyway as slowly as he can.

“…What did you do?”

“I shsshs. I woke up- h  hh. He was right there- hhe wwh. Lifting the lid. I panicked! I ddidn. tuh. uh. I. I panicked. I- I did shay i was sorry a-ah- about the mess.”

“Blessed Amun, what the fuck, Kahmun?! We aren’t even going to jail for this! How are we going to explain this?! What’s going to happen?! What if he comes back? Is he going to come back? Do you know what’s gonna happen when they take his body away?”

Kahmunra looks at him with a joy he’s never seen.

“…I did it. We’re free.”

“No, see, Kahmun, that body is going to decintegrate as soon as the sun rises. What are the police going to do once that happens, huh? They’re gonna see it was a mummy and they’re gonna come after ALL of us!”

Looking smug, Kahmunrah smiles, pressing his tongue through the gap in his crooked front teeth.

“When the sun rishes, someone’s going to see the body’s mishsing from the museum. They’re gonna have a case file, and a bunsh of police that are going to look like they got completely trashed and stole a mummy from a museum. No one is going to look for ush, Akhi.”

The young pharaoh eyes the police warily from the shadows, ducking both of them behind the corner so they’re safely out of view. “…Alright, but I sure hope you’re right. What…What do we do until then? You’ve got a busted arm we need to hide, and we do need to get back in the museum before sunrise…”

“…I saw a CVS around here. Let’s jusht hang out there like it’s the movie Mannequin and we’re Samantha trying to seduce Andrew McCarthy into giving us free sshit.”

Akh’s laughter is almost music, and he gladly follows Kahmun.

……………………………………………………………………………