#i usually do. but this was a good opportunity for it

[kianamaiart]

how do you feel about people who aren't of the same race as that character voicing that character? Also since you work in the cartoon industry and have gone through the voice acting hiring process yourself, is there some sort of code that says its discrimination if you say "only people who fit into this group/all these groups should apply"? (asking this in good faith i hope it is clear. This is really hard to phrase. To make where I'm coming from more clear, while I doubt i would ever get the chance to do what you're doing, if this one comic I make was ever turned into a cartoon, its very important to me for example that the main character who is a non-binary Chinese-American Jew be portrayed by someone as close to that identity as possible. Because to me, there are limited chances for some people to portray themselves wholly on the screen, let alone at all, and to take that opportunity away would be wrong. And I just remember as a(n older) kid it made me even happier when i'd find out people voicing the rare characters who share parts of my identity actually WERE of that identity. But on the other hand, putting more and more restrictions means less and less people can audition and there is such a small chance the perfect person will even find the role. And also I'm not sure if this counts as discrimination in hiring legal code.

it's tricky for sure! in a perfect world, it shouldn't matter, but there's a history of marginalized people being, well, marginalized and denied work for usually white voice actors who can do an impression.

i think there should be a push to get more marginalized voice actors to voice characters like them but also characters that aren't! let actors be actors

You're right in that the more specific the identity, the smaller the pool of actors. and in that case, i think it's good to put in the effort to find people who identify with the role as closely as possible, even if it's not 100%. aika's black/japanese ethnicity, for example, is based off of my own heritage but she's played by anairis quinones, a black/puerto rican voice actor. i felt comfortable casting this way because i feel like at least on my end, i can write aika accurate to my own experience and make sure anything having to do with her identity is handled with care. and i very much trust anairis to understand! and although they're not japanese, they do have an understanding of what it means to be black and queer, which aika also is.

it's a case by case thing for sure but i'm always down to uplift marginalized actors!

[prettygirl-gabi]

For Real This Time

Fandom: UConn Women’s Basketball

Pairing: Paige Bueckers x Reader

Rating: T (Teen)

Warnings: Fluff, light angst (resolved), redemption arc, playful flirting, first-person POV

Summary: Paige finally asks you out properly, making sure that when she asks you to be her girlfriend, it's for real this time.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3 of Played (final part)

Tag: @paigeluvvr @janaelalfysloml

A month had passed.

A month since the mess at the party. A month since Paige and Ice had nearly ruined everything. A month since they both worked their asses off to fix it.

And, surprisingly, they had.

Paige was back to being her usual self—focused, competitive, an absolute menace on the court. Ice was still her goofy self but noticeably more careful with her words. And me? I was finally in a place where I didn’t feel like my heart was caught between resentment and longing.

But there was still something missing.

Paige and I were close again, laughing and joking like before, but there was an invisible line we hadn’t crossed. A tension that lingered, an unspoken what now? hanging in the air.

Apparently, today was the day Paige decided to answer that question.

“You got plans tonight, mamas?”

I glanced up from my phone, finding Paige standing in front of me with that signature cocky smirk.

I rolled my eyes, but a smile tugged at my lips. “Why?”

She grinned, dropping onto the seat beside me and draping an arm over my shoulders like it was the most natural thing in the world. “Because I’m taking you out.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Oh, you are?”

“Mhm.” She nodded confidently. “A proper date. No bets, no games—just me tryna sweep you off your feet.”

I tried to ignore the way my heart did a stupid little flip. “And what if I say no?”

Paige tilted her head, pretending to think. “Then I’ll just have to show up at your dorm with flowers and serenade you until you agree.”

I laughed. “Serenade me? You cannot sing, Bueckers.”

She placed a dramatic hand over her heart. “Damn, ma, that’s crazy. You haven’t even heard me yet.”

“Don’t need to.” I smirked. “I just know.”

Paige chuckled, leaning in closer until her lips were near my ear. “Guess you’ll just have to go on this date to find out.”

I swallowed, heat creeping up my neck. She was so annoying. And attractive. And annoyingly attractive.

I sighed, feigning exasperation. “Fine.”

Her grin was immediate. “Yeah?”

I nudged her. “Don’t make me change my mind.”

Paige just laughed, standing up and stretching. “Wear something cute, baby. Not that you don’t always look cute—” she winked, backing away, “—but, y’know, extra cute. For me.”

I rolled my eyes again, but there was no hiding the smile on my face.

That Night

Paige picked me up from my dorm, looking obnoxiously good in a fitted sweater and jeans.

She let out a low whistle when she saw me. “Damn. You tryna kill me, ma?”

I bit my lip, playing along. “That depends. You gonna survive this date?”

Paige smirked. “Not if you keep looking at me like that.”

I shook my head, laughing as she led me to her car.

Dinner was fun—Paige was extra flirty, taking every opportunity to touch my hand, brush my hair back, lean in too close just to see if I’d blush. (Spoiler: I did.)

At one point, she fed me a bite of her food, watching me with a knowing smile. “Damn, I missed this.”

I swallowed, meeting her gaze. “Missed what?”

Paige’s smile softened. “Us. Being like this.”

My heart clenched in the best way. “Yeah… me too.”

She reached across the table, gently lacing her fingers with mine. “So let’s make it official, the right way.”

I blinked. “Huh?”

Paige chuckled. “I mean, I’ve already won you over, the fair and square way.”

I rolled my eyes, but she squeezed my hand before I could protest.

“Let me do this right,” she murmured, her voice softer now. “Be my girlfriend, for real this time. No bullshit, no bets. Just me and you.”

Something warm bloomed in my chest. “For real?”

“For real.” Paige’s thumb brushed over my knuckles. “No games. Just us.”

I exhaled, smiling. “Okay.”

Paige grinned. “Yeah?”

I laughed. “Yeah.”

She squeezed my hand again before pulling me out of my seat and into a tight hug, swaying us slightly. “Bout damn time, ma.”

I melted into her, hiding my smile in her shoulder. “Shut up, Bueckers.”

She just laughed, pressing a kiss to my temple. “Can’t. Too busy being in love with my girl.”

And this time, when she said it, I knew she meant every word.

Later That Night

We were curled up on my couch, some random rom-com playing in the background. Paige had her arm around me, fingers tracing slow circles on my hip.

“You know,” she murmured, her lips grazing my temple, “this is the part where we usually ruin things.”

I tensed slightly. “Paige—”

She pulled back, shaking her head. “No, not like that. I just mean… this time, I wanna do it right. I don’t wanna rush or mess it up. You mean too much to me.”

My heart squeezed. “You mean a lot to me too.”

Paige smiled, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. “Then we take it slow. No pressure, no expectations—just you and me.”

I nodded, feeling the weight of all the past mistakes lift just a little. “That sounds good.”

Paige grinned. “Yeah?”

I smirked. “Yeah.”

She leaned in, her lips barely brushing mine before pausing. “Can I kiss you?”

I laughed softly. “Paige, we’ve already kissed before.”

She shrugged. “Yeah, but not like this.”

Something about the way she said it sent warmth flooding through me.

So I whispered, “Yes.”

And when her lips met mine, it wasn’t rushed or reckless. It wasn’t tangled in confusion or fear.

It was real.

For real this time.

---

■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■

-Thank You For Reading!🩵🩶

-prettygirl-gabi🎀✨️

[onceinamillionposter]

Yandere!L&D band headcannons

a/n : i literally just felt silly so I mean why not

Lead Vocalists : Rafayel

Drums: Sylus

Guitarist : Zayne

Guitarist : Xavier

Lead rapper : Caleb

With you as the manager !

Right off the bat, it was hell. You got hired from your last gig because your last managing job didn’t quite work out with a whole money laundering scheme being run behind the scenes and you having no idea, you were broke to say the least.

That was before you got that DM, the old manager of the L&D boys is retiring , and apparently you would be a good fit- although your face was all over the news. You practically jumped to the opportunity, signing your life away as you knew it.

You got situated slowly, being introduced to the members - Caleb and you hit it right off the bat , as well as Xavier and Rafayel but Zayne and Sylus were quite distant.

You learnt about them, Caleb would often pick on the others , Rafayel would be trouble just for the fun of it , Zayne was busy reading books and sketching new designs for the band and Sylus was often talking to two twins? You never pried and he never told. Xavier would always be asleep on the common room couch but would wake up when you were desperate for things done.

You had gotten used to the routine, managing accounts would have Rafayel sitting scrolling on his phone in your office often asking ,”Do your eyes not get tired looking at the screen? Why don’t we just go out!” Often you were able to get him to stop bothering you but sometimes he would drag you out regardless making it a bit too intimate.

When it was spring cleaning day , you and Zayne often bonded in silence, sometimes you asked the him about his interests, learning he’s a fan of medicine and drawing anatomy which garnered your attention so you would discuss about what you knew.

Sylus and you would work out at the gym, turning into a competition sometimes. He would help you box and you would show him pilates which he never (openly) struggled with. Sometimes you guys would go on morning runs - very early runs just so people don’t get the wrong idea.

Caleb, and you would bond over board games - monopoly, uno, hell even chess! Anything to keep the day moving. Also investing in the newest consoles (he has the bank of a billionaire he just wanted to tease) , and surprising you with them became normal. Just dance was an interesting time!

And finally Xavier, you and him watched movies and shows together and it was so fun - for you - often enough Xavier just fell asleep but when he woke up, you would cook together or at least try. He burnt more than cooked but that way okay, cause in the end the cupcakes were edible- sure they weren’t the best but they were consumable (when you look past the dark crust)!

You usually had to help them get things set up, stages, events and outfits. Everytime the tailor came in you figured that you would be sitting in a different room but for some reason or the other, everyone - minus Zayne - found a reason for you to be taking their measurements. Shirtless , might I add.

Rafayel claimed the tailor was incompetent - as if a novice like yourself would be any better , Caleb said that the tailor kept scratching at him - you took a peak at the nails and they were the dullest acrylic’s you had ever seen , Xavier said they made him uncomfortable but they had a squeaky clean record last time you checked and Sylus - ever honest - simply said “I hate them.” (you had to make them sign a non disclosure agreement after all of this)

One way or another you slowly were apart of their daily routines. But then the stranger things came, the weird lack of dating claims, back before you became manager there was tons of women that were accused of being with them but suddenly it was quiet. Too quiet, and then the first leak of you came with you and Sylus in an uncomfortably ,weirdly, intimate position. Slowly the media turned heads, it was strange it had been awhile since they had been in. any romantic spectacles and the media love drama.

Another time was Rafayel holding your hand and you holding his plushies he won at the arcade, him dragging you to the next stand. At the time it was anything but romantic but now it looked like a common date? To say the media blew up was a surprise, you had to practically beg Rafayel to make a video clarifying it was just getting him new stuff for his room.

Again a stupid photo really, Caleb holding your clip board so high you had to get on your tippy toes, it was backstage so you had to guess it was the people backstage who were working that took that awfully blurry photo- a pain it was really.

You and Zayne- to your surprise- also got a photo! Hooray! You took him out to satisfy his sweet tooth, he insisted he couldn’t work without it - (he just wanted you to himself) - maybe it was the setting? It being a kitty cafe but you know what - you still don’t know but it garnered attention , another tweet to the main profile for the boys.

But the worst, Xavier resting his head on your shoulder after a long day at the studio. He was so close, too close for you to even make an excuse at the time. But either way the criticism rolled in,

“L&D boys pass around,” “Manager managing all 5 boys”, “Common whore?” It frustrated you so deeply you wished to quit the job as much as you were payed , deciding it wasn’t worth it. But you didn’t know , they weren’t giving you up like that. Not when they slowly loved you, not yet.

[drdemonprince]

(i'm not great at wrapping words around my thoughts, so i hope this makes sense!) i like the phrase 'sex exceptionalism,' it really makes me think. this morning i also had the thought: 'youth exceptionalism' -- i have a feeling you've already thought about this, about how we sort of treat children/youth as both sacred and subhuman.

i get this hard-to-describe unease whenever i see signs saying 'protect trans youth.' like changing words doesn't actually change actions, but i wish it said something more like 'defend trans folks.' without trans elders, trans youth don't have a future modeled for them. and we lose the wisdom and insight of people who transitioned in politically tumultuous times, when doing so was at least as stigmatized and difficult and dangerous as it is now. people with the benefit of seeing changes come and go, who have the lived experience of survival-pending-liberation and trans folks helping trans folks through direct immediate action and support.

youth exceptionalism -- it gets in the way of thinking clearly and critically whenever it pops up. it seems more emotional and ingrained than conscious. i feel it around programs aimed at giving youth opportunities, with cutoff ages. which to some extent makes sense, but not to the degree of fetishization of youth & kids our culture hangs on to. one too eager to discard humans as soon as they age (or rage) out of this impressionable, doll-like imposed role.

i think it also puts unconscious stress on youth, a sense of adults/power-havers heaping dreams & expectations on the next generation. and claiming all the sacrifices they chose to make were for the children/next generation. but at the same time expecting a specific outcome, a specific return on that transactional investment.

anyway, that's my jumble o' thoughts.

I think you're getting at something real. I have never liked the "Protect Trans Youth" shirts and banners, the way that certain supportive and well-intentioned parents cling to an identity for themselves as parent to a trans kid (often putting their kid's trans status out into the open and denying them the chance at ever being stealth, should they want to be), the advocacy that gets too perversely focused on the threat of a trans kid killing themselves (as if that were the only reason to give young people rights), the fixation on protection and innocence rather than on liberation... the heart is genuine that is driving a lot of this stuff, but it still sees children as the helpless precious object of their parents, a proto-human that has to be shielded from the world rather than a human of their own, with their own right to make decisions. it still treats transness as a rare fringe case; we might as well be talking about child cancer patients, for how focused the language is on protection and death. everybody's debating about what is best for the kid, and how to best prevent harm, and nobody is letting the kids speak for themselves. there's something so cloying and inert about it. even if the Protect Trans Kids group wins every political battle they get involved in, all they've done is provide children with one exception from the usual denial of body autonomy they live with. and they only get that exception because supposedly death is the alternative and they're that rare and sick. it's not good when you really drill into it.

[blondemrk]

CHALLENGERS ᯓ⚽︎ jeno + jaemin written series

wc 26.1k

✎ elis note . . hi!! just to clarify, there is a lot of timeskips within each grade! if you have seen the movie you know there are a lot of timeskips in it! if you are confused at any point feel free to leave an ask and i will clarify. be prepared to have ur heart CRUSHED. thank you for reading and remember this is only chapter 1

chapters 1 2 3 masterlist

FRESHMAN YEAR

the sun hung low in the sky, casting a warm glow over the college soccer field where tryouts were underway. y/n stood among the other girls, stretching her legs and loosening her shoulders, her mind racing with the anticipation of the upcoming drills. she had spent countless hours training for this moment—the opportunity to showcase her skills on a bigger stage, to prove that she belonged here just as much as anyone else.

though the focus of the day was on the girls’ team, her eyes kept drifting across the field toward the boys’ team. they were positioned on the opposite side, running through warm-up drills, and among them stood two players who had already made an impression on her—jaemin and jeno.

jaemin had an easy confidence about him, the way he carried himself effortlessly on the ball, dodging defenders and pulling off cheeky flicks. he seemed to be constantly smiling, teasing his teammates as he played. there was something about his energy that made him stand out, and y/n couldn’t help but watch him for a moment longer than she meant to.

jeno, on the other hand, was more reserved. he wasn’t flashy like jaemin, but his quiet intensity was just as captivating. y/n watched him as he moved with precision, his eyes sharp as he read the game, anticipating every pass and movement. he wasn’t loud like jaemin, but there was something in his demeanor that demanded respect.

the whistle blew, signaling the start of the drills, and y/n quickly turned her attention back to her own team, reminding herself of the task at hand. she wasn’t here to watch the boys; she was here to make the team.

a few drills in, y/n found herself in the middle of a fast-paced passing sequence. she was doing well, keeping up with her teammates, but as the ball came to her, it took an awkward bounce. she scrambled to regain control, but before she could, a figure from the other side of the field appeared out of nowhere, intercepting the ball with a swift flick of his foot.

it was jaemin. he grinned playfully as he jogged past her, his eyes sparkling with a mixture of amusement and challenge.

“careful, you almost had it there,” jaemin said, his voice light and teasing. “but i guess i’m just too fast for you.”

y/n shot him a quick look, her competitive streak immediately flaring up. “you got lucky,” she said with a grin, hoping to mask the fact that she’d been caught off guard. “let’s see if you can keep that up.”

jaemin chuckled and walked backwards towards his side of the field, clearly enjoying the exchange. his playful demeanor was hard to miss, and it only fueled y/n’s desire to show him just what she was capable of.

after hours of drills, scrimmages, and practice games, the tryouts were finally coming to a close. the sun had begun to dip below the horizon, painting the sky in shades of pink and orange. y/n, jaemin, and jeno, despite being on opposite teams, found themselves in a shared moment of exhaustion, the competitive tension still hanging in the air between them.

as the coaches gathered the players for one final huddle, jaemin jogged over to y/n, his usual grin in place.

“hey, you did pretty well out there,” he said, a little out of breath but clearly impressed. “didn’t expect you to be that fast.”

jeno, who had been standing nearby, spoke up quietly from behind. “she’s a good player.” he said, his voice low but with a note of sincerity.

y/n was taken aback for a moment by his comment. jeno wasn’t one to offer praise lightly, and she couldn’t help but feel a flicker of respect for him in return.

“thanks,” she said, offering him a small smile. “maybe i’ll make things interesting for you guys this season.”

jaemin’s eyes sparkled at her words, and he raised an eyebrow. “don’t get too cocky now. let's see if you even make the team. rosters come out this friday.”

as the players began to head off the field, y/n felt the excitement of the day’s tryouts settle in. she hadn’t just impressed the coaches—she had caught the attention of jaemin and jeno, two players who had already proven themselves to be forces on the field. there was something about the competitive energy between them that felt like the beginning of something more, a rivalry that would fuel their future interactions and maybe even something else.

for now, though, y/n was just focused on one thing: earning her place on the team. 

a couple of days had passed since the intense tryouts, and the anticipation was starting to get to y/n. after all the sweat and effort she’d put into the drills, she couldn’t help but feel anxious. she had a good feeling about making the girls' soccer team, but that nervous energy still lingered, buzzing in her chest.

the gym doors were open, and as y/n made her way toward the bulletin board to check the final rosters, she could already see a small crowd gathered around. some players were chatting nervously, while others stood in tense silence, waiting for confirmation.

as she walked up, her heart skipped a beat. she didn’t even need to scan the list for long. there it was—her name was on the girls’ team roster. a breath of relief left her lips, but before she could fully process the excitement, she heard a familiar voice.

“hey, looks like you made it.”

y/n turned around to find jaemin walking toward her, a grin already plastered on his face. he was holding his phone in one hand and a water bottle in the other, clearly unfazed by the moment. he paused when he noticed her standing in front of the board and gave her a knowing look.

“guess you’re in, huh?”

y/n shot him a look of mock disbelief. “i’m not even surprised that you’re here already,” she said with a small smirk. “were you waiting for me?”

jaemin let out a short laugh, clearly enjoying himself. “not waiting. just knew you’d be here sooner or later. we all know how important this moment is.”

she rolled her eyes playfully, but the nerves that had been there moments ago were quickly replaced by the warmth of his teasing. jaemin had always had that way about him—making everything feel just a little more light-hearted.

“so, what’s the verdict for you?” she asked, her voice a little more casual now that the tension was broken.

jaemin checked his phone one more time before giving a small shrug. “of course i made it,” he said confidently. “i told you, we’re too good.”

y/n chuckled, shaking her head at his typical overconfidence. “yeah, yeah. of course you would say that.”

before she could say more, another figure appeared at the edge of the crowd, and y/n felt her heart skip again when she saw it was jeno. he had a quiet presence about him, yet it seemed like everyone always knew when he entered a room. his eyes scanned the board, his focus intense. he was clearly a bit more reserved than jaemin, but she couldn’t help but feel the tension between them—like he was always observing, quietly sizing up the situation.

jeno stood there for a moment before finally stepping forward, his gaze flicking between y/n and jaemin.

“made it,” jeno said simply, though there was a hint of pride in his voice. he wasn’t one to boast, but the way his lips curled upward suggested that he wasn’t completely unaffected by the moment.

“of course,” y/n said with a smirk, “you were too good not to make it.”

jaemin glanced between them, a gleam in his eye. “yeah, no surprise. the team’s already got some serious competition with us in it.”

y/n raised an eyebrow. “you’re not getting too cocky already, are you?”

jaemin grinned. “i wouldn’t be jaemin if i didn’t.”

jeno, however, kept his usual calm demeanor. “the real work starts now,” he said, his voice steady. “we’ve still got a lot to prove, no matter what roster we’re on.”

y/n couldn’t help but nod in agreement. jeno was always the type to keep his focus on what came next, and it was part of what made him so dangerous on the field.

“well, i guess i’m looking forward to seeing you both play,” y/n said

the three of them stood there for a moment in comfortable silence, the weight of the moment slowly sinking in. they had all made it onto their respective teams, but it was more than just a roster spot now. it was a start to something new. the season ahead would test them in ways they hadn’t fully anticipated, and their interactions—already laced with hints of competitive tension—would only grow more intense as time went on.

“so, what’s next?” y/n asked, breaking the silence and glancing between jaemin and jeno. “now that we’re all here, do we get to start training, or do we have to wait for the coaches to give us the real schedule?”

jeno shrugged slightly, his expression thoughtful. “i’m sure they’ll get us all organized soon enough. but i’m ready to start anytime.”

jaemin raised his eyebrows, looking over at y/n with a grin. “well, looks like you’ll be on the opposite side of the field from me. try not to get too frustrated when i score a few goals.”

y/n laughed, not feeling the sting of his words but rather the playful challenge that came with it. “we’ll see about that. you’ve got nothing on me.”

jaemin chuckled. “we’ll see.”

jeno, standing quietly to the side, offered a small but sincere smile. “see you both on the field,” he said, before turning and walking off, leaving jaemin and y/n to continue their banter.

as y/n watched jeno leave, she felt a surge of excitement. this season would be different. with jaemin’s playful competitiveness, jeno’s quiet intensity, and her own drive to prove herself, there was no doubt that things were going to get interesting.

the weeks passed by quickly, and while y/n’s days were filled with the usual grind of practice, studying, and balancing life as a college student, there was an undeniable shift in her relationship with jaemin and jeno. though they were on different teams, their interactions outside of practice—at lunch, between classes, and during the rare moments when their paths crossed after a game—became more frequent.

jaemin’s playful, cocky personality made him easy to talk to. he’d often tease y/n, joking around about how the boys' team was clearly superior to the girls' team (though y/n knew better). but over time, she noticed a different side to him. when the competition wasn’t in full swing, he was surprisingly thoughtful and considerate. he’d listen intently when she spoke about her personal struggles or frustrations, offering advice in his own carefree yet comforting way.

“don’t let it get to you,” jaemin would say, his usual teasing replaced by a more sincere tone. “you’re good, y/n. don’t forget that.”

y/n had to admit—there was something comforting about his presence. he made her feel like she could take on anything, even if the pressure was starting to get to her. the endless competition between their teams was exhausting, but when jaemin was around, she felt like she could laugh it off.

jeno, on the other hand, was quieter, but there was an unmistakable kindness in his demeanor. though their practices didn’t overlap, they would often find themselves walking to class together or sitting at the same table in the campus café. he didn’t speak as much as jaemin, but when he did, it was always with thoughtfulness and depth.

during one particular afternoon after class, y/n found herself sitting with jeno, both of them sipping on iced coffees as they talked about the season. jaemin had walked off with some of his teammates after a game earlier that day, and jeno had ended up walking with her instead.

“you’ve been playing really well,” jeno remarked, his eyes scanning her face as though trying to gauge her thoughts. “i’ve noticed you’ve been pushing yourself in the last few games.”

y/n smiled, but there was a hint of exhaustion in her eyes. “i guess i have to. the competition’s getting tougher, and it feels like there’s more on the line now. the season’s just started, but it already feels like everything’s building up to something.”

“i get that,” jeno responded quietly. “the boys’ team is tough, too. every match is a challenge, but it pushes us all to be better.”

y/n nodded, appreciative of jeno’s understanding. “i think that’s the hardest part,” she said. “the pressure. i want to be at my best, but sometimes it feels like i’m just trying to catch up.”

jeno looked at her for a moment, as if weighing his words carefully. “you’re not behind,” he said, his tone steady. “you’re right where you need to be. just don’t rush it. we all grow at different paces.”

there was something reassuring in the way he spoke, a calmness that seemed to settle the restless thoughts swirling in her mind. he wasn’t one to give long speeches, but when he did, it had a way of making everything seem clearer.

as the season progressed, y/n found herself spending more time with both jaemin and jeno, and in a way, she had become a bridge between their worlds. despite being on opposite sides of the field, y/n understood how to balance their competitive natures. jaemin’s boldness clashed with jeno’s quiet intensity, but y/n was able to navigate both personalities with ease. she became their sounding board—jaemin would vent to her about the boys’ team, while jeno would talk to her about his focus on improving, his quiet observations of the team dynamic, and how he wasn’t sure if he was pushing himself enough.

one evening after practice, y/n found herself in a small study group with jaemin and jeno, sitting outside the library and working on an assignment that had been lingering on her to-do list. jaemin, ever the extrovert, had managed to convince both her and jeno to take a break from their work and grab coffee together.

“so,” jaemin said, leaning back in his chair and stretching as he glanced between y/n and jeno, “you two talk a lot, huh?”

y/n raised an eyebrow. “what do you mean?”

jaemin grinned. “i mean, jeno’s all quiet and mysterious, but i swear when you two are together, you just get each other. like you’re on the same wavelength or something.”

jeno, who had been focused on the assignment in front of him, looked up at jaemin’s comment, his expression neutral. “we talk about soccer,” he said simply. “it’s easy to relate.”

y/n chuckled, teasing, “i think jaemin’s just jealous. he doesn’t get the same level of understanding from us.”

jaemin laughed. “i get plenty of understanding from people who know how to appreciate my brilliance.” he gave jeno a playful nudge, but it was clear that he was only half-joking.

jeno, in his typical calm manner, shrugged and then turned to y/n with a soft smile. “i don’t mind it,” he said, his voice uncharacteristically light. “it’s nice to have someone to talk to.”

jaemin seemed to sense the shift in jeno’s tone, but instead of pushing further, he let it go. instead, he turned his attention back to y/n. “you really do balance us out, you know?” he said, his voice more sincere this time. “between me always being the loud one and jeno being the quiet one, you’re like the perfect mediator.”

y/n smiled, grateful for the acknowledgment, though she didn’t want to make it sound like it was all about her. “i guess i just know how to handle you both. you’re not as different as you think.”

jeno’s lips curved into a small smile, and for the briefest moment, it felt like the three of them weren’t rivals from different teams. they were just friends, united by their shared experiences on the field, their growing understanding of each other, and their mutual respect.

though the season was still young, y/n couldn’t help but feel that, in some strange way, this dynamic—being the bridge between two competitive worlds—was exactly where she was meant to be.

the shift had been gradual, almost imperceptible at first. the teasing between jaemin and y/n grew more flirtatious, and the moments they spent together outside of practice began to feel more intimate. at first, it was harmless—just the two of them joking around, teasing one another, and enjoying each other’s company. but soon, something deeper began to take root.

one night, after a long practice session, y/n found herself sitting next to jaemin on the bleachers, the rest of the team scattered around the field, cooling down. the air was crisp, and the stadium lights bathed the space in a soft glow. jaemin had been unusually quiet, his fingers absently tracing the rim of his water bottle.

“so,” y/n broke the silence, nudging him with her shoulder, “you’ve been in a weird mood tonight. what’s going on?”

jaemin looked at her, a playful smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. “nothing. just thinking.”

“thinking? about what?” y/n raised an eyebrow, curious.

jaemin leaned closer, his tone dropping into something more serious, though there was still a glimmer of mischief in his eyes. “about us.”

y/n blinked, her heart skipping a beat. “us?”

jaemin’s smirk widened, and he leaned back, a confident swagger returning to him. “yeah, you know, us. i’ve been thinking maybe it’s time we took this thing between us to the next level.”

the words hung in the air for a moment before y/n could process them. she’d known that jaemin had been flirting with her, but to hear him actually say it out loud—well, it caught her off guard. but something about the way he said it, the light in his eyes, made her heart flutter.

“you mean… like, dating?” y/n asked, her voice softer than she intended.

jaemin nodded, his smile never faltering. “yeah, exactly. i mean, we’ve been spending a lot of time together, right? and i don’t know about you, but i think there’s something here.”

y/n couldn’t deny the pull she felt toward him, the connection that had been building over time. jaemin was fun, easy to talk to, and the chemistry between them was undeniable. she had started to notice the way his smile made her heart race, how his touch lingered just a little longer than necessary.

and yet, there was something nagging at the back of her mind. but the pull to say yes was strong. maybe it was the thrill of something new, or maybe it was the simple fact that jaemin had always been there, cheering her on and making her laugh when she needed it the most.

“i… yeah, i think i’d like that,” she said, the words feeling right as they left her lips.

jaemin’s grin grew wider, and in that moment, y/n couldn’t help but feel like she was making the right choice. his arm slipped around her shoulders, and she let him pull her into a casual embrace. it was easy, comforting, and she couldn’t remember the last time she felt this at ease with someone.

“i knew you’d come around,” jaemin teased, his voice light and playful. “you won’t regret it.”

the next few weeks passed in a whirlwind. jaemin and y/n fell into a rhythm, spending more time together both on and off the field. it felt like the beginning of something real, something exciting. they would grab lunch after practice, hang out with friends on the weekends, and sometimes, they would just sit in the library and study together. jaemin was the one who made her laugh when she needed it most, and she became his quiet support when things were tough.

but despite the obvious chemistry between them, there was an underlying tension, one that neither jaemin nor y/n could sense—but jeno certainly could.

jeno had always been quiet, observant, and good at reading people. it was no surprise that he had noticed the subtle shift between y/n and jaemin. he wasn’t blind to the way they had grown closer, how they’d spent more time together, how their interactions had become more intimate.

and while he genuinely wanted to be happy for them—he did, really—there was an ache in his chest that he couldn’t shake. jeno had always admired y/n from afar, ever since their first days at college. but over time, those quiet moments they had shared began to mean more to him than he could admit. he wasn’t the type to express his feelings easily, and when jaemin made his move, jeno had never once considered that his own feelings for y/n ran deeper than friendship.

now, watching them together was like a slow burn. every time he saw them laughing together or sharing a casual touch, a pang of jealousy twisted in his stomach, but he kept it all to himself. the last thing he wanted was to be the third wheel, especially with someone like jaemin who could make everything seem effortless.

one afternoon, after a particularly intense practice session, y/n and jaemin were talking about their upcoming match when jeno approached them. his usual calm expression was still there, but there was something in his eyes that y/n couldn’t quite place.

“hey,” jeno greeted them with a small nod, his voice a little quieter than usual.

jaemin immediately flashed a grin, ever the extrovert. “what’s up, jeno? you here to remind us that we should be focusing right now?”

jeno’s lips twitched, but the smile never quite reached his eyes. “something like that.”

y/n could sense a slight tension between the two of them, but she couldn’t put her finger on why it felt off. jaemin was still his usual teasing self, but jeno seemed to be holding back, as though something was weighing on him.

“you alright?” y/n asked, her tone concerned. “you seem a little off.”

jeno hesitated for a moment, his eyes flicking between her and jaemin. then, after a beat, he shook his head. “yeah, just… tired. it’s been a long week.”

y/n nodded, giving him a sympathetic look. “i get that. we’ve all been pushing ourselves hard lately. let me know if you need anything.”

“thanks,” jeno murmured, offering a small smile before walking off, his steps quieter than usual.

jaemin watched him go, a slight frown forming on his face. “what was that about?” he asked, glancing at y/n. “he didn’t seem like himself.”

y/n shrugged. “i don’t know. maybe he’s just stressed about the match.”

but in the pit of her stomach, she couldn’t help but feel like there was more to it. jeno had always been the quiet one, but this sudden distance, this quiet tension—it felt like something was brewing underneath the surface.

what y/n didn’t realize was that jeno’s feelings for her weren’t something he could easily ignore. and while he would never voice it out loud, every smile she gave jaemin, every casual touch between them, felt like a painful reminder that what he had silently hoped for was never going to be.

SOPHOMORE YEAR

the championship game was the event everyone had been waiting for. sitting in the stands, jaemins jersey on her back. the air was thick with anticipation as the boys' soccer team prepared for what would be the most important match of the season. y/n sat in the stands, a sea of excited fans around her, but her attention was fixed on the field below. her heart was racing, knowing how much this game meant to her friends, especially jaemin and jeno. the entire team had worked tirelessly for this moment, but more than that, she knew how badly jaemin wanted to win. 

her eyes swept over the field, finding jaemin at the center. he was full of energy, dancing around defenders with a cocky grin plastered on his face. the game had started off fast, both teams evenly matched, but jaemin’s confidence was evident. as usual, he was the one to take charge, and the rest of the boys followed suit.

beside him, jeno was more composed. y/n had always admired jeno’s quiet strength—the way he seemed to let his actions do the talking. his steady and calculated style of play was the perfect counterbalance to jaemin’s more energetic and show-off demeanor.

as the game went on, it became clear that it was going to be an intense battle. every pass, every shot, every tackle mattered. the crowd was on the edge of their seats, the atmosphere electric. but then, a pivotal moment came in the second half.

jaemin had just stolen the ball from an opponent and was charging toward the goal with a fierce determination in his eyes. the entire stadium was on their feet, cheering him on as he neared the box, only a few steps away from a perfect opportunity to score. but before jaemin could strike, an opposing player lunged forward, tackling him hard from the side.

y/n gasped, her hands flying to her mouth as jaemin crashed to the ground, his body twisting awkwardly with the force of the impact. the stadium went silent, and even the opposing team seemed to hesitate for a moment, unsure of what had just happened. jaemin stayed down, clutching his leg, his face contorted in pain.

the referee immediately blew the whistle, and players from both teams rushed toward jaemin. y/n’s heart pounded in her chest as she stood up, her eyes glued to him. she could see the way his body was trembling as he attempted to sit up. it was clear something was wrong.

“jaemin!” she shouted from the stands, her voice breaking through the noise. she saw him grimace as he tried to move his leg, but it was no use. he couldn’t put any weight on it.

jeno, who had been near jaemin when the tackle occurred, was the first to reach his teammate. his usual calm was replaced with a quiet urgency as he crouched next to jaemin, his expression hard to read.

“jaemin, are you okay?” jeno asked, his voice laced with concern.

jaemin clenched his teeth. “i—i don’t know. i think i twisted my ankle. i can’t move it.”

jeno’s face darkened. “stay still. let the medics check you out.”

the medical team rushed to the scene, quickly assessing jaemin’s condition before helping him off the field. the entire stadium held its breath as jaemin hobbled off, leaning heavily on jeno for support.

y/n’s hands gripped the railing of the stands as she watched jaemin being led to the bench. her stomach twisted in knots—this was the championship game, and jaemin had just been sidelined. she could see the frustration on his face as he was helped to sit on the bench, his eyes filled with anger and disbelief.

with jaemin off the field, the boys’ team was suddenly without their star player. the coach called a timeout, gathering the team around to strategize, but the mood was somber. jaemin had been a key player, and without him, the boys’ team seemed to lose their momentum. y/n’s gaze shifted to jeno, who was now stepping forward in the absence of his teammate.

jeno didn’t hesitate. his calm, measured demeanor was exactly what the team needed at that moment. while the rest of the players seemed rattled, jeno remained steady, his focus sharper than ever.

y/n watched as he took charge, organizing plays and leading his team with quiet authority. he was still jeno—his usual reserved self—but today, there was something different. he wasn’t just playing for the team anymore; he was playing for jaemin, for the game, and for the glory that had seemed to slip away the moment jaemin went down.

the tension in the stands grew with every passing minute. the game was still neck-and-neck, but jeno’s leadership was starting to turn the tide. his passes were impeccable, his vision of the field precise. with each move, he seemed to elevate the entire team, pulling them back from the brink of defeat.

then, in the dying minutes of the game, jeno did something that sealed his place as the hero of the match. he seized a loose ball, dodged an opponent, and took a shot that sent the ball sailing into the back of the net.

the stadium erupted in cheers, but y/n couldn’t help but feel a bittersweet pang in her chest. the boys’ team had won, and jeno was the one who had secured their victory—but it came at a price. jaemin wasn’t there to share the glory. his injury had stolen that moment from him, and now, jeno was the one in the spotlight.

after the game, the boys’ team celebrated their victory, but it was clear that the win was tainted by jaemin’s injury. the atmosphere was a mix of celebration and uncertainty, with players high-fiving and congratulating each other, but their eyes constantly flicking toward the bench where jaemin sat, his leg propped up and his ankle wrapped in ice.

y/n approached jaemin as he sat quietly, his face a mask of frustration. he forced a smile when he saw her, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

“hey, you did great out there,” y/n said, trying to comfort him, but her voice was full of concern.

jaemin shrugged, his tone dismissive. “it doesn’t matter now, does it? i’m stuck on the sidelines while jeno takes my spot.”

y/n’s heart sank. “jaemin—”

“no, really,” jaemin interrupted, his voice edged with bitterness. “he played well, didn’t he? took charge, scored the winning goal. now the team’s going to think he’s the new leader.”

y/n didn’t know how to respond. she knew that jaemin’s injury had shaken him more than he was letting on. he had always been the center of attention, the one everyone relied on. now, that position had shifted, and he couldn’t help but feel betrayed by his own body.

from across the field, jeno was talking with some of the other players, but his usual calm demeanor seemed to be weighed down by something more. when his eyes briefly met jaemin’s, there was a flicker of something—a silent understanding—and then jeno quickly looked away, returning to his conversation.

y/n’s gaze shifted back and forth between the two of them, and she couldn’t ignore the shift in their friendship. jaemin’s injury had opened up a rift that neither of them seemed ready to address, but the strain was becoming more and more palpable.

she knew that jeno hadn’t done anything wrong. he had played his part, stepped up when the team needed him. but she also knew that jaemin wasn’t one to take kindly to being sidelined, especially when he had worked so hard for this moment. and now, there was a quiet tension that neither of them was acknowledging—but it was there, hovering between them, thickening the air.

as she stood between the two of them, y/n couldn’t help but feel like everything had changed. the victory, the injury, the unspoken feelings—it was all too much for her to handle. she had always been the bridge between jaemin and jeno, but now, she wasn’t sure if she could hold them together any longer.

the days after the championship game were tense, like a storm waiting to break. jaemin’s injury was the kind that required rest and patience, but the emotional toll it was taking on him was becoming evident. he spent more time alone, nursing his injury, and less time with the team. he could feel the frustration bubbling inside him—every time he watched the boys play, every time he saw jeno step into the spotlight, the bitterness grew.

jeno, on the other hand, seemed to be carrying the weight of the team’s victory. he’d been praised for his performance, and while he appreciated the recognition, something in him felt uneasy. it wasn’t just the fact that he’d replaced jaemin in the game—he knew jaemin hadn’t taken his injury well. what jeno hadn’t expected, though, was how deeply jaemin’s silence would affect him.

their first confrontation came late one evening after practice. the boys were winding down in the locker room, the team buzzing about their upcoming game. jeno was leaning against a locker, talking with some of the other players, when jaemin walked in, his crutches tapping against the floor with each step.

jaemin’s eyes scanned the room, and for a brief moment, he locked eyes with jeno. there was a heaviness in the air, something unspoken, and both of them could feel it. jaemin didn’t wait for anyone to approach him—he walked straight over to jeno, his face tight with emotion.

“you’ve been getting all the attention lately,” jaemin said, his voice sharp.

jeno raised an eyebrow, confused. “what are you talking about?”

“i’m talking about the game,” jaemin snapped, his tone defensive. “you take my place, you score the winning goal, and suddenly you’re the hero. the mvp. what about me? i’ve worked my ass off for this team, and in one moment, it’s like i don’t even matter anymore.”

jeno blinked, taken aback by the sudden outburst. he had known jaemin was upset, but he hadn’t expected this level of animosity. “jaemin, that’s not what this is about. you’re hurt. i didn’t want this to happen. i didn’t want to have to step in. but the team needed me.”

jaemin’s face flushed with frustration. “of course, you didn’t want it to happen. but you’re loving the attention, aren’t you? you’re eating it up, just waiting for your chance to be the star.”

“that’s not fair,” jeno responded, his voice growing colder. “i didn’t ask for this. i didn’t ask to be the one who scored. i did what i had to do, and i played my part. the team needed someone to step up, and i did. what else do you want from me?”

jaemin’s eyes narrowed, the anger now completely surfacing. “i wanted my place back,” he shot back, his fists clenching. “i wanted to be the one to win the game. i wanted to be the one to get all the praise. not you. you’re just... you’re just happy to be the new ‘golden boy.’”

jeno’s jaw tightened. “that’s not fair, jaemin. you’re the one who’s been acting like you’re above everyone else this whole time. just because i’m not loud and flashy doesn’t mean i don’t deserve this. i stepped up for the team. i didn’t ask for this position, but i’ll take it if it means we win.”

jaemin laughed bitterly, his voice rising. “you don’t get it, do you? it’s not about the game anymore. it’s about you, trying to replace me. you don’t care about what it means to me, how hard i’ve worked for this, how badly i wanted it. you’re too busy trying to prove something.”

jeno’s face hardened, his voice dropping to a low growl. “maybe you should stop thinking everything’s about you. maybe you should take a step back and realize that this team doesn’t revolve around you. i’ve been here, too. i’ve put in the work, and i’m tired of watching you act like you’re the only one who matters.”

the room fell into a heavy silence. the rest of the team, sensing the rising tension, had fallen quiet. their argument was no longer just about the game. it was about their friendship—the bond they had built over the years. and now, it was unraveling right before their eyes.

jaemin looked at jeno, his expression hardening, as if seeing his friend for the first time. he opened his mouth to say something more, but the words wouldn’t come. instead, he turned away, crutching himself out of the locker room without another word.

“jaemin, wait—” jeno started, but the door slammed shut behind him before he could finish his sentence.

jeno stood there, staring at the door, his fists clenched at his sides. he felt like his chest had been crushed under the weight of what had just happened. he had never imagined it would come to this. he never imagined that a single argument could destroy the friendship they had built.

but now, as the seconds ticked by, jeno knew that things had changed. his heart ached, but there was a gnawing feeling in his gut that told him this wasn’t something they could easily fix.

jaemin’s injury had kept him sidelined for weeks, and the physical pain was nothing compared to the emotional turmoil he was going through. every day felt like a reminder of his inability to contribute to the team, of the space he was losing—not just in the game, but in his friendships. he couldn’t shake the feeling that his position had been taken, that his importance to the team, and to those around him, was slipping away.

y/n had been there for him, as always. she’d helped him with his recovery, visited him at his apartment when he was too frustrated to go out, and spent hours on the phone with him whenever he needed someone to talk to. but despite all of her support, jaemin couldn't stop the nagging feeling in the back of his mind—jeno was still there. jeno was still the one everyone was talking about, the one everyone was praising for leading the team to victory. and the worst part? y/n had been spending more and more time with jeno, trying to comfort him through the aftermath of their argument, offering him the support jaemin had always given him.

it was late one evening, and jaemin was sitting on his couch, nursing his ankle as he scrolled through social media on his phone. every post, every mention of jeno just seemed to dig a little deeper into his insecurities. he couldn’t stop thinking about the way y/n had looked at jeno the other day—like she was proud of him, like he was the hero of their story. it made his chest ache. his jealousy, which had been simmering for weeks, was finally boiling over.

a knock on his door interrupted his spiraling thoughts. it was y/n.

"hey, how’s the ankle?" she asked, stepping inside with a small smile, trying to keep the mood light.

jaemin looked up at her, forcing a smile in return. "it’s fine. still just... healing," he said, his voice flat.

y/n sat down beside him, glancing at his ankle. "you should really rest it more. i know you hate it, but you need to let it heal properly."

jaemin nodded but didn’t say anything. he couldn’t keep pretending everything was fine. he had been pretending for too long, and it was starting to wear him down.

after a moment of silence, jaemin finally spoke, his voice low and tense. "you’ve been spending a lot of time with jeno, haven’t you?"

y/n blinked in surprise. "what? jaemin, we’re friends. you know that."

jaemin’s expression hardened. "yeah, but it’s more than that now, isn’t it? you’re always checking in on him, always there for him. you never used to do that for me. what’s going on, y/n?"

y/n’s eyes widened, confusion and concern overtaking her features. "what are you talking about? i’m just trying to help him. he’s struggling, jaemin. he’s your friend, too."

jaemin’s heart pounded in his chest as he leaned forward, his gaze intense. "yeah, i know. but it’s like you’re forgetting about me. you’re too busy being there for him. you’ve been... spending so much time with him, talking to him, comforting him. and i’m just sitting here, watching it all happen."

y/n’s expression shifted, her confusion turning into frustration. "that’s not fair, jaemin. i’m here for you, too! you know that, right? i’m not replacing you with jeno. you’re just... you’re just in your head right now."

jaemin’s voice rose, the hurt and jealousy finally spilling out. "it feels like you are. you’ve barely been around since the game. and when you are, it’s always about jeno—how he’s doing, how he’s coping. i’m just supposed to sit here and wait until i’m good enough to play again, right?"

y/n’s face fell. she had never seen jaemin like this before. the defensiveness, the jealousy—it was completely out of character for him. she had always known him as confident, energetic, and optimistic, but this version of him was raw and vulnerable in a way that was hard for her to process.

"jaemin, i’m not trying to push you aside. i’m here for you. i’ve always been here for you," y/n said softly, her voice cracking with emotion. "but i’m also trying to help jeno, because... because he’s going through something, too. you don’t get it, do you?"

jaemin’s eyes flickered with frustration. "i get it, y/n. you’re both just so much better than me right now. you’ve got him—jeno—and you’ve got the team’s attention. and then there’s me, stuck on the sidelines with nothing to offer."

y/n’s heart sank. she didn’t know how to make him see that it wasn’t about jeno or the team’s attention. it was about him, about helping him recover and reminding him of the strength he still had—no matter what had happened on the field.

"i never said you were nothing, jaemin," she said, her voice quiet but firm. "you’re everything to me. but you need to stop pushing people away. you can’t keep thinking that i’m going to abandon you just because jeno and i talk more. that’s not how it is. and you know it."

the silence that followed hung heavy in the air. jaemin’s face softened, but the tension between them remained. he had been so consumed by his own jealousy that he hadn’t realized how much y/n had been trying to balance—her support for him and for jeno. but now, it felt like their friendship, their connection, was slipping through his fingers.

"i’m sorry," jaemin muttered, his voice low. "i didn’t mean to say those things. it’s just... hard, you know? watching everything change."

y/n let out a slow breath. "i know it’s hard. but you’re not alone in this, jaemin. not now, not ever."

jaemin looked away, staring at the floor, unsure of what to say next. the insecurity that had been gnawing at him was still there, but in this moment, he realized that he had let his jealousy cloud the truth: y/n wasn’t choosing jeno over him. she wasn’t replacing him.

y/n, caught in the middle of their fallout, struggles to remain neutral. every day feels like walking through a minefield, where one wrong step might shatter everything. the friendship between jaemin and jeno, once so effortless and full of mutual respect, has cracked under the weight of rivalry, jealousy, and unspoken words. y/n feels like she’s stuck in the eye of a storm, trying to hold onto both of them while everything around her crumbles. she can’t help but blame herself, even if deep down, she knows it’s not her fault. she wishes she could simply make everything go back to the way it was, but the distance between them feels too vast, too permanent now.

when jaemin and jeno had their falling out, y/n immediately felt the ripple effects. they didn’t just stop talking to each other; they stopped being the people y/n had grown close to. jaemin, once so open and warm, now avoids y/n’s attempts to comfort him. his silence is suffocating. y/n tries to reach out to him, but his cold responses only make her feel like a stranger. he’s hurt, she understands that. but why does it feel like every time she extends a hand, he pulls further away?

jaemin’s hurt is so visible. he’s not the same person anymore. she watches as he buries himself in his recovery, and yet, every time he’s with her, it’s like there’s a piece of him missing. the playful glint in his eyes is gone, replaced by something deeper—anger, resentment, uncertainty. he doesn’t express it directly, but y/n can feel it in his tone, in the way his body language tenses when she mentions jeno. he can’t even stand the sight of her talking to jeno for too long, a fact that cuts deeper than y/n would have expected.

it’s not just jaemin’s silence that gets to her; it’s the way he subtly pulls away from her. the days when he would spontaneously grab her hand or ask how her day was feel like distant memories now. he’s still there, but only physically. y/n catches him staring at her sometimes, but there’s no warmth in his gaze. just cold, calculated distance. every time she tries to reassure him, tell him that nothing’s changed, that she’s still there for him, it feels like he’s not listening. he doesn’t believe her anymore. and she feels that, deep down, a part of her is losing him—slowly but surely.

the jealousy that jaemin harbors isn’t just about soccer or jeno’s success. it’s about her. about the fact that y/n and jeno still share moments together, that jeno is still a part of her life even though their friendship is strained. jaemin’s insecurities grow, and they’re starting to eat away at him. he feels threatened not just by jeno’s increasing success on the field but by the bond y/n and jeno share. there’s a part of jaemin that wonders if y/n still cares for him in the same way. the uncertainty is consuming him, and as a result, he pushes y/n further away.

and it’s not like she doesn’t try to fix it. she does, over and over again. she texts him, calls him, tries to make plans for the two of them, but every time, it feels like he’s just going through the motions. the moments when they used to talk for hours have now become quick exchanges, and the silence in between those words is growing. she knows that silence. it’s the silence that comes before something breaks for good.

jeno, too, has been changing, but not in the way y/n had hoped. she can still see the boy she once knew—the one who used to joke around with her, who would tease her in a way that made her feel at ease. but now, he’s a version of himself she barely recognizes. jeno is quieter now, more withdrawn, but he still makes an effort to be there for her. he helps her study, checks in with her after games, and offers her advice when she’s frustrated with her performance. yet, there’s something beneath the surface—something that y/n can’t quite name. the way he looks at her when they’re alone, the way his voice softens when he says her name, it all feels different. y/n can feel the tension growing, a quiet undercurrent that runs beneath their casual conversations.

it’s hard for y/n to ignore that jeno isn’t just supporting her as a friend anymore. he’s hiding feelings, feelings he’s been carrying for far too long. his gestures of kindness, his little acts of support, now feel heavier than before. y/n can sense his pain, the longing that he’s trying so hard to keep buried. she feels it when his hand brushes against hers for a second too long or when he offers her a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. jeno is hiding his feelings, but they’re becoming too obvious to ignore.

the worst part is that y/n doesn’t know how to act around him anymore. she’s torn between loyalty and love. she knows jeno’s feelings for her are real, but she doesn’t know how to reciprocate them without betraying jaemin. she can’t help but feel guilty, knowing how hard jeno is trying to be there for her even as his emotions remain unspoken. but she also knows that the bond they share is built on years of friendship. and she can’t just ignore the weight of her own feelings for jaemin, even as she watches him crumble before her eyes.

y/n feels like she’s drowning in guilt and confusion. she’s struggling to keep the pieces of their fractured friendships together, but no matter how hard she tries, it seems like she can’t fix what’s broken. her efforts to talk to jaemin only push him further away, and when she tries to reach out to jeno, it’s like she’s stepping into a minefield of unspoken emotions. the more she tries, the more everything unravels.

she wants to talk to both of them, to tell them that she’s still here for them, that she’s not choosing sides, but the truth is, y/n doesn’t know if she can. she doesn’t know if they’ll ever get back to the way things were. she doesn’t know if she can carry the weight of their pain anymore. and worst of all, she doesn’t know if there’s a way out of this cycle.

her world is becoming smaller by the day, and with every passing hour, she feels the distance between them grow. what was once a tight-knit trio is now split apart, with y/n standing in the middle, watching as both jaemin and jeno spiral into their own worlds of resentment, frustration, and unspoken feelings. and she’s left, powerless to stop it, only hoping that somewhere down the line, they can all find a way to heal.

jaemin and jeno, now unable to even look at each other, refuse to communicate. the fallout from their argument leaves a thick tension hanging in the air, and it seems like there’s no coming back from it. jeno’s once lively presence on the field now feels almost like a shadow of what it used to be. he plays with intensity, but every movement, every pass, seems mechanical. the joy he once felt in soccer feels hollow. he can feel jaemin’s absence, even though jaemin is still a part of the team. their silent animosity has shifted the team dynamic, leaving jeno with the burden of trying to fill the emotional void left by their fractured friendship. yet, even with all of his success, he can’t seem to shake the feeling of guilt that clings to him.

jaemin, on the other hand, isn’t interested in jeno’s achievements. he’s too consumed with his own bitterness to even acknowledge how jeno is rising in prominence. while jeno has gained respect from the team, jaemin isolates himself further. he doesn’t attend social gatherings, avoids his teammates, and spends most of his time with his thoughts. his physical recovery is slow, but his emotional pain is even more crippling. he watches from the sidelines, not just in the literal sense but also in his own life. the anger he feels toward jeno consumes him, and with each day that passes, the resentment deepens. he finds it impossible to cheer for jeno’s success, even when it’s clear that jeno has worked hard for it.

y/n feels the tension every day. she’s never been so acutely aware of the growing distance between herself and both of them. jaemin’s withdrawal from her is the most painful part of all of this. she tries to reach out to him—texts, calls, messages—but they go unanswered, or at best, she receives short, disinterested responses. the once warm and open relationship she had with jaemin is now a ghost, replaced by awkward silences when they are in the same room. he’s not the jaemin she fell in love with anymore. he’s not even the jaemin she used to call her best friend. he’s someone she doesn’t recognize, someone who has become a stranger in her life.

but jeno doesn’t make things easier, either. he’s still there for her, but the burden of his unspoken feelings weighs on him like a storm waiting to break. he’s quieter now, his once carefree attitude dampened by the constant internal conflict he feels. his gestures are kind, and he’s there whenever she needs him, but there’s an air of sadness around him that y/n can’t ignore. the way he looks at her sometimes, the lingering touches, the soft smiles that don’t quite meet his eyes—they all make her heart ache. jeno is hiding something, something that’s slowly chipping away at the friendship they’ve shared for so long.

y/n feels as if she’s been caught in the crossfire of their conflict. she wants to support jaemin, but he doesn’t want her help. she wants to comfort jeno, but she can’t deny the distance that’s growing between them. the emotional weight of trying to maintain relationships with both of them while they drift further apart is overwhelming. every conversation she has with jaemin feels like she’s walking on thin ice, afraid of saying the wrong thing. every interaction with jeno feels bittersweet, as if there’s something unspoken lingering in the air, a tension that neither of them dares to confront.

the pressure to fix things is crushing. y/n knows that jaemin and jeno are both hurting, but no matter how hard she tries, she can’t seem to get through to either of them. it feels like she’s losing both of them at once. the guilt eats at her. what if there was something she could have done to prevent this? what if she could have said something differently, or acted differently? the "what ifs" consume her, leaving her trapped in a never-ending cycle of self-doubt.

jaemin has become more withdrawn; he no longer has the same spark in his eyes, the same warmth in his gestures. he’s quieter, more distant, and no longer seems to take the same joy in their relationship. while he’s still present, both physically and on the field, his heart isn’t the same. his smiles feel forced, and his touches, once full of affection, now seem mechanical. y/n is left grasping at straws, trying to bring back the jaemin she once knew.

jaemin's disinterest isn't just in their relationship, but in everything around him. he becomes less involved in team activities, declining invites to social gatherings or team dinners. when y/n tries to talk to him, he brushes her off with vague excuses, saying he’s tired or busy. his friends, even jeno, notice the change in him, but no one dares to bring it up. y/n begins to feel like she’s fighting a losing battle, putting all her energy into saving their relationship while jaemin seems to pull further and further away from her.

jeno, still caught in his feelings for y/n, notices the tension between the couple but doesn’t know how to help. he’s always been there for y/n as a friend, but lately, even his attempts at offering support seem to fall flat. jaemin, who used to be so open with her, now keeps everything inside. his demeanor is colder, and whenever y/n tries to talk to him about it, he deflects, pushing her away with every word he says. it becomes impossible for y/n to ignore that something isn’t right.

one night, the truth finally hits y/n like a ton of bricks.

after finishing a late-night practice session, y/n decides to take a detour to the locker room to grab something she left behind earlier that day. she knows jaemin often stays late to work on his recovery, so she plans to surprise him with a snack. but as she steps into the hallway leading to the locker room, she hears voices—low whispers, followed by soft laughter.

at first, she doesn’t think much of it, assuming someone else is around. but as she gets closer, her stomach churns. she pushes open the door, only to be greeted by a sight that freezes her in place. jaemin is standing there, his arms wrapped around her best friend from the girls’ soccer team. the same best friend who had been her confidante, the one she had confided in about jaemin’s emotional distance and her struggles.

her best friend is laughing softly, pressing her lips to jaemin’s in a kiss. jaemin doesn’t notice y/n at first, too consumed in the moment, but when he hears her sharp intake of breath, he pulls away. the look on his face is one of pure shock and guilt, but the damage is already done.

y/n doesn’t know what to do. her legs feel like they might give out beneath her as the world spins around her. the betrayal cuts deep. jaemin, the man she’s been holding onto, the man she thought was her rock, has been cheating on her with someone she trusted with everything. her best friend—the one person who was supposed to have her back—has turned her loyalty into a cruel joke.

jaemin stumbles forward, his words coming out in a disjointed mess. “y/n, i—i didn’t mean for you to find out like this.” but there is no apology in his eyes, no regret. instead, there is just guilt, a guilt that’s tainted by the obvious desire to justify his actions.

y/n doesn’t say anything at first. she stands there, numb, as her heart breaks into a million pieces. everything she thought she knew about jaemin, about their relationship, is a lie. she turns without saying a word, walking out of the locker room and into the cold night, feeling the sting of the betrayal burn into her chest. she can’t look at jaemin anymore. she doesn’t want to. she can’t trust him. not after this.

jaemin watches her leave, knowing that he’s just lost the one person who truly mattered to him. but the reality of his actions doesn’t seem to hit him immediately. he stays in the locker room, facing the harsh consequences of his mistake, but all he feels is regret, not for his actions, but for the pain he’s caused y/n. what’s done is done. the brokenness in his chest doesn’t compare to the pain he knows y/n is feeling.

the next few days are a blur. y/n isolates herself, drowning in a mix of heartbreak and disbelief. she doesn’t return jaemin’s texts or calls, refusing to let him explain himself. there is no explanation that can make this right, not when she feels so utterly betrayed. she tries to focus on soccer, but even the sport she loves doesn’t bring her solace. every time she steps onto the field, the memory of jaemin’s betrayal haunts her. she can’t shake the feeling of being used, of having her trust completely shattered.

meanwhile, jaemin reaches out again and again, but y/n refuses to listen. jeno, who had been quietly watching from the sidelines, begins to notice the strain this is putting on y/n. his own feelings for her, long buried, come rushing to the surface as he realizes just how much she’s hurting. he wants to comfort her, to tell her that she deserves better, but the line between friendship and something more is too blurred. and with jaemin still trying to reach y/n, jeno knows he can’t step in—at least not yet.

the damage is done. y/n has lost her best friend and her boyfriend in one blow, and the aftermath leaves her questioning everything she once believed about trust, love, and loyalty.

JUNIOR YEAR

the sun hung low in the sky as y/n walked across campus, her heart heavy. junior year had begun, but it didn’t feel like a fresh start. it felt like she was still stuck in the aftermath of the betrayal—the cheating, the lies, and the painful loss of trust.

she glanced over at the soccer field as she walked past it, the sound of the boys' team practicing drifting in the air. her eyes briefly met jaemin’s across the field, and she quickly looked away. he had been trying to approach her for weeks, sending texts, leaving notes in her locker—desperate attempts to fix what he’d broken. but y/n had learned the hard way that some things can’t be fixed. not when the cracks run so deep.

her stomach twisted at the thought of him. jaemin had been everything to her—her first love, her best friend, her everything. but now? now, all she could feel when she saw him was the sting of betrayal. the guilt, the anger, the hurt—it was all still there, swirling in her chest like a storm that never seemed to pass.

y/n shook her head and focused on the task at hand: surviving the first week of classes without completely falling apart. her friends—what few she had left after everything—had told her to focus on herself. to stop worrying about the people who’d hurt her. but how could she when every interaction seemed to revolve around jaemin?

as she entered the building for her first lecture of the day, she almost collided with someone at the door.

“woah, sorry!” she said, stepping back quickly.

jeno, who had been walking just behind her, gave her a soft smile. “you okay?”

y/n forced a smile, though it didn’t reach her eyes. “yeah, just... tired.” she gave him a quick nod before turning to head inside. the last thing she needed right now was to engage in a long conversation.

but jeno wasn’t the type to let things go easily. he followed her into the classroom, sitting beside her without hesitation. over the last year, jeno had become someone she could rely on, even if it wasn’t always easy to accept his support. after the fallout with jaemin, jeno had been a silent presence, offering his care without pushing her.

for that, she was grateful. but the last thing y/n wanted was to rely on him too much. she knew how tangled everything already was.

“so, how’s the team?” jeno asked casually, pulling out his notebook as the lecture started.

y/n shrugged, her eyes momentarily flickering to the side. “same as always, i guess. a lot of pressure with the season starting soon.” she tried to keep her tone neutral, but she couldn’t ignore the pang of discomfort that came from thinking about the boys’ team. jaemin was there, of course, and the last time they’d interacted had been... messy.

jeno caught her hesitation but didn’t press her for details. he just nodded in understanding, choosing to stay silent for the rest of the lecture. he could tell that y/n was struggling, but he wasn’t going to push her. not yet.

the days that followed felt like a blur. y/n buried herself in her schoolwork, soccer practice, and the few remaining friendships she had left, all while trying to ignore the ever-present tension between her, jaemin, and jeno. jaemin’s attempts to reach out only made it worse. he’d show up at the field, lingering after practice, hoping for a chance to speak to her, but y/n would avoid him every time. the pain was still too fresh. every time she looked at him, all she could see was the hurt he’d caused.

jaemin’s frustration was growing. he hadn’t been able to understand why y/n was shutting him out completely, why her anger felt so cold and final. he could see the way she leaned on jeno more and more, and the jealousy that simmered beneath the surface began to eat away at him. but his guilt was even worse. the guilt that he’d destroyed something beautiful, something he’d taken for granted.

one afternoon, jaemin waited for y/n outside the gym, hoping for a chance to speak to her before practice started. he had rehearsed what he was going to say a thousand times in his head, but now that he was face-to-face with her, the words felt impossible to speak.

“y/n,” he called softly as she walked by, her head down as she passed him.

y/n froze for a moment, her back still turned to him. she knew he was there, knew he was probably waiting for some sort of acknowledgement. but she couldn’t do it—not yet. not when the wound was still so open. she didn’t turn around.

“please, y/n,” jaemin’s voice cracked slightly. “can we just talk? i—"

“i don’t think we have anything to talk about,” she interrupted, her voice cool. “not anymore.”

the finality in her tone hit him like a punch to the gut, and he stood there, staring after her as she walked into the gym.

it was hard for him to accept, but jaemin couldn’t ignore the truth: y/n wasn’t going to forgive him. not now, not ever.

the following weeks were a blur of practices, classes, and quiet nights spent in solitude. y/n couldn’t bring herself to face jaemin, and with each passing day, the distance between them seemed to grow even wider. the guilt that came with avoiding him was overwhelming, but it was nothing compared to the emotional wreckage she felt every time she thought about everything he had done.

jaemin’s attempts to make things right were relentless. after that last confrontation outside the gym, he continued to text her, leaving notes on her locker and occasionally cornering her after class. but each time y/n saw him, she felt that old sting in her chest. she wanted to scream at him for what he had done—wanted to demand answers for why he cheated, for why he ruined everything they had. but she never did. instead, she put up walls, silently pushing him away every time he tried to break through.

it wasn’t just jaemin’s efforts that were getting to her, though. it was the way he kept showing up everywhere. on the field during practice, at school events, and even at their usual hangouts with friends. his presence was suffocating. y/n knew he wasn’t giving up, but she also knew she couldn’t face him. not yet.

when practice rolled around, y/n buried herself in the physicality of soccer, pushing herself harder and harder, trying to ignore the pain that came with every memory of jaemin. the sound of the ball hitting the net, the exhaustion in her legs, and the focus she poured into every drill kept her distracted.

but even on the field, she couldn’t escape the tension that seemed to hang in the air, especially with the boys’ team practicing at the same time. jaemin’s eyes followed her movements from across the field, and every glance they shared sent a sharp pang through her heart.

jeno, on the other hand, remained a steady presence. unlike jaemin, he didn’t force his way into y/n’s life. he never pushed her for answers or sought her forgiveness. he simply existed alongside her, a quiet anchor in a storm that felt like it would never end.

on the field, jeno’s style of play was as smooth and calculated as ever. he had always been a naturally gifted player, but there was something different about him now. his usual cheerful demeanor had become more reserved, and his focus seemed laser-sharp, as if he was trying to block out his own emotions. y/n couldn’t help but notice the way jeno’s eyes lingered on her whenever they passed one another during drills. he was always there, watching from the sidelines, but never intruding.

during a particularly brutal practice, y/n was pushing herself beyond her limits, running drills until her legs burned with exhaustion. it was a typical coping mechanism for her—distracting herself with the physical. but as she sprinted down the field, her vision blurred, and her foot caught unevenly on the turf. she fell hard, the impact of the ground knocking the air out of her lungs.

she lay there for a moment, struggling to catch her breath. her teammates rushed over, but the one who reached her first was jeno.

“y/n! are you okay?” his voice was laced with concern, his hands hovering over her body as if afraid to touch her.

y/n winced as she tried to push herself up, but the pain in her ankle was immediate and sharp. “i’m fine,” she said quickly, brushing him off, though it was clear she wasn’t.

jeno knelt beside her, his gaze softening. “let me help you,” he said gently. he offered his hand, and despite herself, y/n took it.

she leaned on him as he helped her to her feet, his steady presence offering her the comfort she didn’t know she needed. “i’ll take you to the trainer,” jeno suggested, already beginning to walk with her towards the sideline.

y/n didn’t protest. she let him guide her away from the field, away from the eyes of her teammates, and the watchful gaze of jaemin, who stood from a distance, watching the exchange with a mix of frustration and guilt.

the next few days were filled with rest and rehabilitation for y/n’s injury, and as she hobbled around campus on crutches, she found herself once again caught between two worlds. jaemin tried to reach out, of course, apologizing over and over for the distance between them, but every word from him felt like a reminder of everything she had lost.

jeno, on the other hand, continued to show up quietly in the background. his support didn’t demand anything from her, but it was clear that he was there—always just close enough to make sure she was okay, but never forcing anything. and as much as y/n tried to ignore the growing feelings inside her, it was getting harder and harder to do so.

one evening, while y/n was working on a paper in the library, she received a text from jeno.

“how’s the ankle?”

it was simple, direct, and caring. she hesitated before replying, unsure of what to say. her thoughts were all over the place—too tangled in confusion, frustration, and the quiet ache that seemed to settle in her chest every time she thought of jeno’s kindness.

“it’s getting better, thanks to you.” she typed quickly, then set her phone down, trying to refocus on her work.

a few moments later, her phone buzzed again, and y/n’s heart skipped when she saw the next message.

“i’m glad to hear that. let me know if you need anything.”

y/n smiled softly, her heart pounding in her chest as she read his words. there was something about jeno’s quiet presence that made her feel safe, something she hadn’t realized she’d been missing until now.

the crisp autumn air bit at y/n’s skin as she walked across campus, her ankle feeling better but her heart heavier than ever. she had spent the last few weeks trying to bury herself in her work, her studies, and soccer, but no matter how much she focused on the physical, the emotional chaos just wouldn’t go away. jaemin’s attempts to contact her had become relentless, and no matter how many times she rejected him, he wouldn’t stop.

she was almost used to it by now. almost.

today, however, was different. jaemin had finally sent her a message that broke through her defenses:

“we need to talk. please.”

it felt like a simple request. but after everything they had been through, after all the hurt, y/n wasn’t sure if talking could ever fix what had been broken. she had spent too much time trying to rebuild herself after his betrayal. she wasn’t sure she had any pieces left to give.

jeno had been quiet these days, and y/n was beginning to notice the subtle shifts in him. he had always been there for her, his presence a constant source of comfort, but lately, there was something different in the way he looked at her. something soft, something almost... protective.

she wasn’t blind. she knew that jeno’s feelings for her had shifted over time. he had been the quiet, steady support when she needed it, but now, his concern for her seemed to go beyond just friendship. it was something deeper, something unspoken.

but where did that leave her? she wasn’t ready to think about moving on from jaemin, but at the same time, she couldn’t keep clinging to someone who had hurt her so badly.

y/n stood at the edge of the field, her eyes trained on the boys' team as they finished practice. she couldn’t help herself; she looked for jaemin. his back was to her, but she could still make out the tension in his posture, the way he hesitated before he turned to speak to his teammates.

for a moment, she thought about walking over to him. but then, the thought of everything he had done—everything he had destroyed—stopped her in her tracks.

she turned instead and walked toward the locker room, where she knew jeno would be waiting. it had become a routine of sorts. after every practice, jeno would stick around to make sure she was okay, despite her attempts to push him away.

this time, though, there was something different in the air.

jeno was already sitting on the bench in the locker room when she entered, looking down at his phone. he didn’t look up as she walked in, but y/n could feel his gaze shift toward her as soon as she sat down next to him.

“you’re not practicing today?” she asked, trying to keep the conversation casual. it was the usual way they interacted—friendly, easygoing, without any pressure. but today, the air between them felt thick with unspoken words.

jeno shrugged, putting his phone down on the bench next to him. “just wanted to check on you. i know your ankle’s still recovering, so i thought maybe we could grab lunch after this.” his voice was calm, but there was an underlying urgency, like he was waiting for something.

y/n smiled softly, grateful for his consideration. “lunch sounds good,” she agreed, trying to shake off the weight of the thoughts swirling in her head.

but before they could continue their conversation, the door to the locker room creaked open, and y/n froze. she hadn’t expected anyone else to be here, but when she saw jaemin step through the door, her stomach dropped.

he paused when he saw them sitting together, his eyes briefly flicking to jeno, then back to y/n. his jaw clenched, and for a moment, no one spoke.

finally, jaemin broke the silence. “can we talk?” his voice was tight, hesitant, as though he wasn’t sure how to approach her.

y/n didn’t respond immediately. her heart was pounding in her chest, and she could feel jeno’s eyes on her, waiting for her to make a decision. she glanced at him briefly, silently asking for guidance, but jeno simply gave her a small nod, as though telling her to handle it however she needed to.

with a sigh, y/n stood up, brushing past jaemin as she made her way to the door. she had spent so many days avoiding this moment, but now, she couldn’t put it off any longer.

jaemin followed her outside, but they both remained silent as they walked to a quieter part of campus. y/n was doing everything she could to keep her emotions in check, but it was becoming increasingly difficult.

“you’ve been avoiding me,” jaemin finally said, his voice low. “i know i messed up, but i need to apologize. i can’t keep pretending like nothing happened. you and i... we were everything to each other, and i know i broke that. but i need you to know how sorry i am, y/n.”

y/n bit her lip, trying to steady her breathing. she had heard these words so many times before. the apologies. the regret. but the damage had already been done.

“you don’t get to apologize anymore, jaemin,” y/n replied, her voice barely above a whisper. “you don’t get to make things right after what you did. i gave you everything, and you destroyed it. you don’t just get to walk back into my life and fix everything with a few words.”

jaemin flinched at her words, his face falling as he saw the raw pain in her eyes. “i know. i know i can’t fix it, and i don’t expect you to forgive me. i just... i need you to know how much i regret it. how much i miss us.”

y/n shook her head, stepping back a little. “it’s too late for that. i can’t go back to what we were, jaemin. i can’t pretend that nothing happened.”

for a long moment, there was nothing but silence between them. jaemin’s eyes were filled with sorrow, but y/n couldn’t bring herself to feel pity. she had loved him more than anything, but now, all she could feel was the aching emptiness he had left behind.

as she turned to leave, jaemin reached out, his hand brushing against her arm. “i still love you,” he whispered.

y/n stiffened at the words, but she didn’t turn back. she couldn’t. “i’m sorry, jaemin. but i can’t love you anymore.”

y/n walked away, her heart heavy, but strangely lighter than it had been in months. saying those words to jaemin—admitting that she couldn’t love him anymore—was the hardest thing she’d ever done. but it also felt like a release. she wasn’t sure what came next, but for the first time in a long time, she felt like she could finally start moving forward.

she didn’t look back, but she couldn’t ignore the quiet ache that lingered in her chest.

as she made her way back toward the locker room, she found jeno waiting by the door, his eyes filled with concern. he didn’t say anything at first—he didn’t need to. his presence was enough.

without a word, y/n walked over to him, and jeno, sensing the weight of the moment, wrapped his arm around her. the silence between them was comforting in its own way, as if jeno understood that sometimes, words weren’t necessary.

and for the first time in a long while, y/n allowed herself to rest in the quiet support jeno offered, uncertain of what the future held, but feeling—just for a moment—that maybe, just maybe, things could get better.

the days following her confrontation with jaemin felt like a blur. classes, soccer practices, and social events all blended together into a single haze. y/n found herself moving through life on autopilot, her mind always drifting back to the conversation she had with jaemin. the weight of his words, the intensity of his gaze, stayed with her even after she tried to push it all aside.

she avoided jaemin as much as she could. he tried to approach her between classes or at the campus café, but y/n would make excuses to slip away, her heart too fragile to face him again. she didn’t know if she was ready to face the emotions that would inevitably come with it. she couldn’t trust him again, and the hurt still felt fresh.

jeno, on the other hand, was a quiet presence in her life. he was still there, offering her the same unwavering support that he always had. but y/n began to feel the subtle shift in his behavior. he was quieter now, his gestures more lingering. sometimes, when their hands brushed or when he’d pass her a comforting smile, she caught the fleeting glint of something deeper in his eyes.

she didn’t want to acknowledge it—she wasn’t ready to confront it—but the truth was impossible to ignore. jeno was falling for her.

one afternoon after practice, y/n lingered in the locker room, tying her shoes slowly, hoping the rest of the team would leave first so she wouldn’t have to face anyone. but when the door opened, it wasn’t one of her teammates—it was jeno.

"hey," he greeted her softly, his voice warm, but there was a certain hesitance to it, as if he was unsure how to act around her now.

y/n gave him a small, tired smile, forcing herself to appear less bothered than she truly felt. “hey, jeno. what’s up?”

jeno walked in and leaned against the lockers, crossing his arms as he looked at her. “i was just thinking... we haven’t had much of a chance to talk lately, huh?”

y/n chuckled quietly, although it was tinged with sadness. “yeah, i guess you could say that. everything’s been a little... chaotic.”

he nodded, his gaze softening. “i get it. but i miss our talks. it’s not the same without you around.”

the sincerity in his voice made her stomach flutter. she could see the concern in his eyes, but more than that, she could see something that made her heart ache—a deep, unwavering loyalty, and maybe something more.

“i’m sorry,” she said, almost in a whisper, as she looked away from him. “i’ve been... distant. i just... need some time, jeno.”

“i know,” he replied, his voice gentle. “i’m not rushing you. but i’m still here, y/n. whenever you’re ready.”

she nodded, trying to push away the lump in her throat. jeno had always been there for her, through everything. but now, as she stood facing him, it felt like the weight of their friendship was shifting, and she wasn’t sure how to navigate the new dynamic.

“i appreciate that,” she murmured, her voice thick with unspoken emotions.

jeno hesitated before taking a step closer. “you don’t have to face all of this alone. i’m not going anywhere.”

y/n could feel her heart racing. jeno’s words, the way he always made her feel safe and understood, it was hard to ignore. but the thought of opening herself up to him—of acknowledging the way he might feel—was terrifying. she wasn’t sure she was ready to go there, not yet. not after everything she had just been through with jaemin.

“i know,” she whispered, barely meeting his gaze. “but i need some space. just for now.”

jeno didn’t push further. he simply nodded, his expression unreadable. he stepped back, turning toward the door.

“i’ll give you that,” he said, his voice soft but firm. “but don’t forget, i’m here. whenever you need me.”

y/n’s chest tightened, and she quickly turned away to avoid looking at him. she couldn’t bear to see the hurt in his eyes, especially when she knew she wasn’t ready to reciprocate the feelings he had for her.

but no matter how much she tried to push it away, a part of her was drawn to him. jeno had always been there when she needed him the most, and maybe, just maybe, that was enough to make her believe that something could still work between them.

but not now. not yet.

over the next few weeks, the tension between y/n, jaemin, and jeno only seemed to grow. jaemin’s attempts to reconcile with her became more frequent, but every time he tried to approach, y/n would shut him down. the thought of reopening the wounds he had caused was unbearable.

on the other hand, jeno remained patient. he didn’t push her, and he didn’t ask for anything. but y/n couldn’t shake the feeling that he was waiting for her—waiting for her to come around, waiting for her to finally admit that she might feel the same way.

it was a confusing time. she had spent so long focusing on healing from jaemin’s betrayal, that the idea of a relationship with jeno felt overwhelming. she wasn’t sure she could trust herself to be open to someone again, let alone open herself up to someone who had always been by her side.

one evening, as the team wrapped up practice, y/n found herself walking alongside jeno as they made their way to the locker room. the sun was setting, casting long shadows across the field.

“i’m glad you came today,” jeno said casually, his voice carrying a quiet intensity that made her heart beat faster. “it’s been a while since we really talked.”

y/n glanced at him, noticing the way he was looking at her—serious, but kind. “i know,” she replied, her voice quiet. “i’ve just been... trying to figure things out.”

jeno didn’t push her. instead, he simply nodded, his gaze softening. “i get it. and whenever you’re ready to talk, i’ll be here.”

y/n felt something in her chest tighten at his words. it wasn’t that she didn’t care for him—she did, in a way that felt deep and complex. but right now, she wasn’t ready to confront the emotional storm inside her. the pain of jaemin’s betrayal still loomed large, and the thought of opening her heart again, even to jeno, was terrifying.

“thanks, jeno,” she murmured, giving him a small, appreciative smile.

they reached the locker room, and as y/n stepped inside, she caught one last glance at jeno. his face was unreadable, but there was a glimmer of hope in his eyes, something she wasn’t ready to acknowledge yet.

it was a wednesday afternoon when everything came to a head. the girls’ team had just wrapped up a grueling practice, and as y/n was stretching on the sideline, her eyes caught the boys’ team warming up across the field. jaemin was leading their drills, his movements fluid and confident, but there was something in his posture that struck her—a defensiveness, a tension in his shoulders that was unlike him.

y/n turned her attention back to her own teammates, but the sight of jaemin lingered in her mind. for the past few weeks, she had kept her distance from him, and yet the unresolved feelings between them never fully faded. she wasn’t sure if she missed the person he was or if she was just mourning the idea of their relationship, the future they could have had before everything fell apart.

“y/n?” her teammate’s voice broke through her thoughts, and she looked up to find her friend standing over her, a concerned expression on her face. “are you okay?”

y/n forced a smile. “yeah, just... tired.”

her teammate wasn’t convinced. “you’ve been off lately. is it still about jaemin?”

y/n paused. she had tried so hard to avoid talking about him, not wanting to reopen the wounds, but it was clear that her friend wasn’t going to let it go.

“i don’t know,” y/n admitted, her voice quieter than she intended. “i’m just... still confused. i don’t know what to feel anymore.”

her friend sighed, sitting down beside her. “you know, sometimes, it’s better to just let things go. you can’t control how people change, or how they hurt you. but you can control how you let it affect you.”

y/n nodded, even though she wasn’t sure she agreed. it wasn’t that simple. her heart felt shattered, torn between two people—jaemin, the boy she once thought she’d spend forever with, and jeno, the one who had been there all along, waiting patiently for her to figure things out.

later that evening, as y/n walked through campus, she caught sight of jeno sitting alone on a bench by the dorms, his gaze fixed on the ground. there was something about his posture, something resigned, that pulled at her heart. despite everything, he was always there, offering her his steady support.

without thinking, y/n found herself walking toward him.

“jeno?” she called softly as she approached.

he looked up, surprised, his expression softening as he saw her. “y/n. hey.”

“mind if i sit?” she asked, her voice tentative, unsure of what she was looking for in this moment.

“of course not.” he moved over to make room for her, and she sat down beside him, the space between them familiar and comforting in a way she hadn’t realized she needed.

for a long moment, neither of them spoke. the only sound between them was the rustle of leaves in the wind, the quiet hum of campus life in the distance.

y/n turned to him, her gaze searching his face. “jeno... i don’t know what to do anymore. with everything. with jaemin, with—”

“you don’t have to figure it all out right now,” jeno interrupted gently, his voice calm. “you don’t have to have all the answers. just... take your time. we’ll figure it out together.”

there was so much comfort in his words, in the way he was always steady when everything else felt uncertain. y/n wanted to believe him, to believe that things could still work between them, but the weight of her past with jaemin made it hard to fully embrace the idea.

“you’ve always been there for me,” y/n said quietly, her voice cracking slightly. “and i don’t want to hurt you, jeno. i just... i don’t know what’s right anymore.”

jeno gave her a small, understanding smile, the kind of smile that made her chest ache. “i’m not going anywhere, y/n. whenever you’re ready, i’ll be here. but i’m not going to push you.”

y/n could feel the sincerity in his words, and it hit her in a way she hadn’t expected. he wasn’t asking for anything. he wasn’t demanding that she figure it all out right away. he was just here, present, ready to support her no matter what.

“i’m sorry,” she whispered, her voice thick with emotion. “i’ve been so focused on trying to figure out what happened with jaemin that i didn’t even think about... what i might be doing to you.”

“y/n,” jeno said gently, reaching out to place a hand on hers. “you don’t owe me anything. i’ve always cared about you, and i always will. i just want you to be okay.”

her breath hitched in her throat, the weight of his words settling deep in her chest. for a moment, y/n felt the warmth of his hand in hers, the comfort of knowing that she wasn’t alone in this mess.

but the conflicting emotions inside her heart refused to subside. she wasn’t sure what she wanted, or who she wanted it with.

the weeks after the conversation with jeno felt like an emotional maze for y/n. each day brought with it new questions, new doubts, and a growing sense of uncertainty. every time she saw jaemin, her heart ached with the weight of what had been—what could have been. and whenever jeno’s eyes found hers, she felt the pang of guilt from not being able to fully let go of the past.

y/n had always prided herself on being able to handle difficult situations, to keep her emotions in check. but this was different. this wasn’t just a matter of keeping her focus during a soccer match or acing an exam. this was her heart, her friendships, her relationships—all tangled together in a mess of pain, betrayal, and longing.

she could no longer ignore the tension that had been building between the three of them. jaemin had been trying, in his own way, to reach out to her—whether through small gestures or the occasional message, but every attempt only seemed to pull her deeper into the emotional whirlwind she had been trying so hard to avoid.

and jeno... jeno, who had been nothing but supportive and patient, was beginning to look more and more like the person y/n should have turned to when everything fell apart. but the guilt of not being able to reciprocate his feelings was beginning to eat away at her.

it was during one of the rare moments when she was alone in the quiet of her dorm room, reflecting on everything, that y/n received a text from jaemin.

can we talk?

the words were simple, but they sent a shiver through her. she hadn’t heard from him like this in weeks—not since their last confrontation. she had been avoiding him, avoiding the rawness of their past, but now... now he was reaching out again, and she couldn’t ignore it any longer.

her fingers hovered over her phone as her heart raced in her chest. she wasn’t sure if she was ready to hear what he had to say, or if she even wanted to face him again. but she knew she had to. for her own peace of mind, she needed closure, even if it hurt.

when? she typed back, trying to mask the uncertainty in her voice.

now?

with a deep breath, she stood up, grabbed her jacket, and left the dorm. the campus was quiet at this time of night, the only sounds the distant hum of streetlights and the occasional rustling of leaves. her steps felt heavy as she walked toward the park where they had agreed to meet. the cool air did little to ease the tightness in her chest, and the closer she got to the park, the more she felt like she was walking into a storm.

jaemin was already sitting on a bench when she arrived, his back to her. he didn’t hear her approach, and for a moment, y/n just stood there, watching him. his shoulders were hunched, his posture stiff, but there was something about the way he sat that made her heart ache.

he was still the boy she loved, despite everything.

when he finally turned to see her, his expression was a mixture of relief and something more vulnerable—something that made y/n’s chest tighten.

“y/n,” jaemin’s voice was soft, like he was afraid she might disappear if he spoke too loudly. “i—” he paused, taking in a shaky breath. “i’m sorry. for everything. for what i did to you... and to jeno.”

y/n felt her throat tighten at the mention of jeno, but she didn’t interrupt. she needed to hear him out, even if it hurt.

“i was stupid,” jaemin continued, his voice cracking slightly. “i wasn’t thinking. i let my insecurities take over, and i hurt you in ways that i’ll never be able to take back.”

she looked at him, unsure of what to say. the words she wanted to say were stuck somewhere deep inside her, caught between anger and hurt, love and regret.

“you hurt me, jaemin,” she finally said, her voice soft but firm. “and not just once. over and over again.”

jaemin’s face fell, guilt overtaking his features. “i know,” he whispered, his eyes dropping to the ground. “i don’t expect you to forgive me. but i need you to know that i regret it. every day.”

y/n took a step back, her arms wrapping around herself as if trying to shield her heart. “i don’t know if i can ever forgive you. not the way i used to. not the way you want me to.”

jaemin’s face twisted in pain, but he nodded, as if he had expected that response. “i understand. i’m not asking you to forget, y/n. i just... i just wanted you to know that i’m sorry. i didn’t want to lose you.”

y/n’s chest tightened at the sincerity in his voice, but she could feel the walls she had built around herself strengthening. “you already did, jaemin. you lost me the moment you chose someone else.”

the words were harsh, but they were true. and as much as they hurt, they were the closure she needed.

for a long time, neither of them spoke. the silence between them was thick, filled with the weight of everything that had been said and everything that had been left unsaid.

finally, jaemin stood, and as he looked at her one last time, something in his eyes shifted—like he understood that this was it. he wasn’t going to get another chance to make things right, and y/n wasn’t going to allow herself to be pulled back into the same painful cycle.

“i’ll always care about you, jaemin” yn said quietly, her voice barely above a whisper.

jaemin nodded, his throat tight. “and i’ll always remember what we had. but i can’t keep living in the past.”

with that, she turned and walked away, her steps slow and deliberate. she didn’t look back as jaemin stood there yelling out apologies and begging her to come back”

the tension in the air was palpable. ever since the conversation with jaemin in the park, y/n had done her best to move forward. she had thrown herself into her training, trying to focus on her game and get through each day without the constant weight of the past on her shoulders. but it wasn’t that simple.

jaemin wasn’t just a shadow lingering in the back of her mind anymore; he was there, in her peripheral vision, always there. and with him came the rising tension—the tension that came with his jealousy, his frustration, and his desperate attempts to claw back something he had lost.

y/n had started to notice it on the field. it wasn’t just during practices anymore—jaemin’s jealousy was showing in the little moments. in the way his eyes would narrow every time jeno passed the ball to her, or how his voice would take on a sharp edge when he spoke to her, as if anything related to jeno irritated him. it was subtle at first—small, passive-aggressive comments about how “jeno seemed to think he was part of the girls’ team now,” or how “jeno must be really close to y/n to know exactly where all her classes are and her practice schedule”

but as the weeks went on, it became harder for y/n to ignore.

after a game one evening, where the boys’ team had played a particularly grueling match, jaemin cornered her in the locker room, his voice low and tense.

“do you really think it’s a good idea, spending so much time with jeno?” he asked, arms crossed over his chest. his eyes were dark, and his jaw clenched tightly.

y/n’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “what do you mean? jeno and i are friends,” she said, trying to keep her voice steady.

jaemin’s eyes flashed with something sharp—anger, maybe, or something darker. “i’m just saying. you’ve been hanging around him a lot lately. too much, don’t you think?” his tone was almost mocking, but it was laced with something else.

y/n took a step back, surprised at his words. “what’s your problem, jaemin?” she asked, the frustration in her voice growing. “jeno’s been nothing but supportive of me. we’ve been friends since freshman year.”

jaemin let out a short laugh, his gaze flickering to the ground before meeting hers again. “yeah, sure. friends. i bet that’s all it is. just friends,” he muttered bitterly, turning away from her with an almost sarcastic wave of his hand. “i’ll leave you to your ‘friendship’ then.”

y/n’s chest tightened, hurt flashing through her. she had never expected jaemin to be like this—not after everything they had been through. but his words, his tone—everything about him was dripping with jealousy. she could feel it, even in the space between them.

for a moment, neither of them spoke. the silence was heavy, suffocating. jaemin finally turned, his back to her, and y/n didn’t know whether to scream or walk away.

the rest of the night passed in a blur. she tried her best to shake off the encounter, but it kept replaying in her mind. jaemin had always been possessive, but this... this was different. his jealousy was like a storm brewing just beneath the surface, ready to spill over at any moment.

jaemin’s behavior began to worsen. he started making excuses to avoid speaking to y/n altogether, but when they did interact, his words were laced with bitterness, as if he was punishing her for things that weren’t her fault. he would drop little comments about her and jeno, as if testing the waters, pushing her boundaries to see how much she would take before finally snapping.

one night, after another game, the breaking point came. jaemin pulled y/n aside in the parking lot, his face twisted in anger.

“why are you so close to him? why can’t you see it, y/n? i’m the one who’s been there for you. i’m the one who’s always supported you!” jaemin’s voice was low, but it was shaking with frustration. “i’ve been waiting for you to come around. but you keep pushing me away for him!”

y/n’s eyes widened as his words sank in, and for the first time in a long while, she felt her own anger flare up.

“i’ve never asked you to do that, jaemin!” she shot back, her voice cracking. “you don’t get to treat me like this just because you’re a selfish asshole! you broke my trust, and now you’re making it worse by acting like i owe you something.”

jaemin’s expression faltered, and for a moment, y/n saw a flicker of guilt in his eyes. but it was quickly replaced by frustration, and he stormed off, leaving y/n standing there, her heart racing.

she stood in the parking lot for a long time, trying to calm her breath, but the ache in her chest only grew.

jaemin had become more unpredictable, his behavior erratic. the once carefree, joking boy she had fallen for had been replaced by someone who was bitter, angry, and manipulative.

and jeno... jeno, who had always been there for her, was caught in the middle. y/n could see how much it was hurting him to watch jaemin spiral, but he stayed quiet. he didn’t push her to choose between them. he never had.

but y/n could feel the weight of it all, the pull of the past and the future, and she wasn’t sure how much longer she could keep pretending that everything was okay.

the tension was becoming unbearable. jaemin’s jealousy was no longer something she could ignore. it was poisoning everything, and y/n wasn’t sure how much longer she could keep herself from falling into the same trap again.

y/n had never felt so torn between two people she once thought she could rely on. jaemin had been her everything once—her best friend, her confidant, the one who’d held her hand through all of life’s uncertainties. but somewhere along the way, he had betrayed her trust, broken their bond, and left her to pick up the pieces of her heart. then there was jeno, who had quietly stood by her side, never pushing her, but always present, in a way she couldn’t ignore anymore.

junior year was almost over, and with it, the façade y/n had put up for so long. she had tried so hard to balance the pain jaemin had caused her with the tenderness she felt from jeno. she’d buried the anger, the hurt, and the confusion, but it was all bubbling up now, and she couldn’t hold it in any longer. the exhaustion was overwhelming. every interaction with jaemin felt like a warzone, and every moment with jeno felt like a bittersweet reminder of what could’ve been. she was drained—emotionally, mentally, physically—and she knew something had to give.

it happened after a particularly tense practice. the girls had just finished their drills when she spotted jaemin and jeno across the field, talking, but there was an edge to their conversation that y/n couldn’t ignore. jaemin’s body language was rigid, and jeno’s face was unreadable. there was too much unspoken history between the three of them, and y/n couldn’t shake the feeling that she was standing on the sidelines of her own life, watching as the people she cared about most drifted further apart.

y/n waited until practice ended, when jaemin finally approached her. she’d been dreading this moment, but she knew it was coming. he had been quiet for days, and she couldn’t pretend anymore.

“y/n,” jaemin’s voice was soft but urgent, like he needed her to understand. “we need to talk.”

she nodded slowly, taking a deep breath. the air felt thick between them, charged with everything they hadn’t said, everything they hadn’t resolved.

“jaemin,” she began, her voice steady but strained. “i don’t think we can keep pretending like everything's okay.”

jaemin’s face tightened, his hands shifting nervously at his sides. “i don’t want to lose you, y/n. i know i screwed up. but i can’t keep living in this tension with you. i miss you. i miss us.”

y/n’s chest tightened, her heart pounding in her ears. “i don’t know if i can forgive you, jaemin,” she said, her voice wavering. “what you did… it broke me. and the way you’ve treated jeno—it’s not fair to either of us.”

jaemin flinched, but y/n pressed on, needing to say the words she had been holding back for so long.

“you don’t get to demand my forgiveness,” she continued, her voice growing stronger with each word. “i’ve spent the past year trying to figure out if i can ever trust you again, and i can’t. you hurt me in ways i don’t even know how to explain. i’m tired of pretending like i’m okay with it.”

tears welled up in jaemin’s eyes, but he didn’t say anything at first. he simply stood there, absorbing her words. his face twisted with guilt and sadness, but there was also something else there—a recognition of the truth she had finally voiced.

“i’m sorry, y/n,” he whispered, his voice breaking. “i didn’t mean to hurt you. i never wanted to lose you.”

the pain in his voice almost broke her, but y/n stood firm. she had to.

“i need to focus on myself now, jaemin,” she said, her voice shaking with the weight of the decision. “i can’t keep holding onto something that isn’t there anymore. i need space. from you. from everything.”

jaemin’s face crumpled as he nodded, unable to find the words to respond. but y/n didn’t wait for him to say anything else. she turned and walked away, feeling her heart shatter with every step she took, but also feeling lighter—like she had finally made the decision she needed to make.

later that evening, y/n found herself on the bench outside, her thoughts racing. she was still shaken by the confrontation, her emotions raw. but in the quiet moments, she started to realize something she hadn’t fully acknowledged before: how much she had been leaning on jeno. his quiet support, his gentle encouragement, the way he had been there for her without pushing her, without trying to fix everything—he had become her anchor.

she didn’t know when it had shifted, but somewhere along the way, jeno had become more than just her friend. she had relied on him in ways she hadn’t wanted to admit. and now, as she thought about everything that had happened with jaemin, she realized that maybe—just maybe—there was a part of her that had been falling for jeno all along. she didn’t know what that meant for her, or for their friendship, but she couldn’t ignore the feeling growing in her chest.

the thought made her heart race, but she couldn’t bring herself to face it fully just yet. the pain from everything with jaemin was still too fresh, too raw.

the next few weeks were a blur. jaemin withdrew further into himself, giving y/n the space she had demanded. the boys’ team continued on , and the girls’ team was stronger than ever. jeno remained by her side, a steady presence in a world that felt like it was crumbling.

y/n didn’t know what would happen next. she wasn’t sure if she was ready to open her heart to jeno or if she was still too broken from the past. but she knew one thing for sure: she couldn’t keep living in the past, and she couldn’t keep running from the feelings she had for him. it was time for her to figure out who she was—without jaemin, without jeno, and without the weight of their mistakes on her shoulders.

SENIOR YEAR

as senior year begins, the weight of the past hangs heavily over y/n, jaemin, and jeno. it’s like an invisible wall between y/n and jaemin—every interaction charged with the ghosts of their past and the pain of betrayal. y/n can’t shake the memories of jaemin’s infidelity, and despite the months that have passed since, the scars are still raw. she’s exhausted from carrying the burden of their broken relationship and the emotional toll it’s taken on her.

jaemin, on the other hand, is still consumed by guilt. the boy who once had so much confidence and charm has become a shadow of himself. his attempts to reach out to y/n—through small gestures, texts, and even the occasional private conversation—are met with indifference. every time he apologizes, y/n’s response is distant, noncommittal, and filled with pain. she can't forgive him, not yet. maybe not ever.

jaemin, desperate to regain her trust, falls into a cycle of self-doubt. he can’t let go of the fact that he betrayed her, and the realization that he’s lost her, perhaps forever, only feeds his spiraling behavior. he starts showing up late to practice, missing key training sessions, and losing focus on the field. his performance begins to falter, his frustration growing, but he refuses to confront the root of his issues—his inability to move forward from the guilt and shame he feels.

the boys' team, once cohesive, begins to feel the strain. jeno, still trying to be a support system for both y/n and jaemin, finds himself caught in the middle. he’s seen firsthand how much y/n has suffered, and he can’t help but feel the bitterness growing between the two people who once meant so much to him. but he’s also aware of how much jaemin is spiraling, how his emotional instability is affecting their entire team dynamic.

meanwhile, y/n grows more withdrawn. she can no longer pretend that everything is fine. every time she sees jaemin, her heart aches with the memory of his betrayal. she wishes she could hate him—make it easier to move on—but that’s not who she is. instead, she retreats into herself, focusing on her studies and soccer, trying to drown out the emotional noise.

her relationship with jeno deepens as he becomes the one constant in her life. while jeno doesn’t push her to talk, he’s always there, offering quiet comfort. they continue their friendship, but the more time y/n spends with him, the more she realizes just how much she’s come to rely on him. he’s not the reason she’s avoiding jaemin, but in his own quiet way, jeno becomes her safe space. it’s unspoken, the bond that’s forming between them, but it’s undeniable.

jaemin can’t stand it. watching y/n grow closer to jeno only feeds his jealousy. he tries to lash out, throwing passive-aggressive comments at jeno, but the latter doesn’t react. the distance between jaemin and y/n only grows wider as jaemin's self-destructive behavior intensifies. his jealousy becomes palpable, but he doesn’t know how to deal with it, except by pulling away more and more. it’s a vicious cycle: the more he pushes, the more y/n pulls away, and the more it fuels his resentment.

through all of this, y/n remains steadfast in her belief that she needs to focus on herself. she can't afford to fall back into the toxic cycle she once had with jaemin. but the weight of her feelings for both him and jeno is starting to take its toll on her. she knows she can’t keep juggling the expectations, the unresolved emotions, and the pressure to maintain the facade of normalcy.

jaemin’s attempts to make amends only seem to create more tension. every apology, every moment where he reaches out, is now a reminder of the trust that has been broken. it’s like a broken record—his words seem hollow, and y/n is no longer willing to listen.

jaemin reaches his breaking point when he realizes that no matter how much he tries, y/n isn’t going to forgive him. his emotional volatility begins to affect his performance on the field in ways it never has before. his usual charisma and leadership are replaced with frustration and irritability. it’s a clear sign to those around him that he’s struggling, but he refuses to confront his issues. instead, he turns inward, spiraling further into his guilt.

jeno, however, notices. he sees through jaemin’s facade. he’s been friends with jaemin long enough to know that this isn’t the jaemin he remembers. but jeno has his own burdens. he’s not just trying to support y/n; he’s silently dealing with his own feelings for her. watching her suffer because of jaemin only fuels his protective instincts. he wants to be there for her—wants to be the one she turns to when everything falls apart.

as senior year progresses, the tension between y/n and jaemin only grows. jaemin’s efforts to fix things are becoming more desperate, while y/n remains resolute in her decision to protect her heart. jeno watches the two of them, helpless in the middle, but trying to give y/n the space she needs to heal.

but the cracks are becoming more visible. jaemin’s self-destructive behavior is starting to cost him more than just his relationship with y/n; it’s affecting his relationships with everyone around him. and as y/n moves further away from him, she finds herself looking toward jeno more and more—unsure of what the future holds but realizing that perhaps the person who’s been there all along might be the one who helps her pick up the pieces of her broken heart.

as the months of senior year drag on, jaemin’s inability to move past his mistakes continues to take its toll, not only on his personal life but also on his career as a soccer player. the once-confident, charismatic team captain has fallen from grace, and his internal turmoil is becoming more apparent with every passing day. his guilt over betraying y/n, combined with the increasing pressure of trying to rebuild their broken relationship, is starting to unravel him.

on the field, jaemin is nowhere near the player he once was. his focus is scattered, his energy is off, and he’s constantly distracted. his once natural leadership is now overshadowed by his inability to keep it together. his performance on the field has been slipping for weeks, but it's not until a crucial game against a rival school that his reckless behavior finally leads to a major setback for the boys’ team.

the game is everything. it’s the deciding match for whether they’ll advance to the regional championships. jaemin, feeling the weight of the stakes and overwhelmed by the pressure to redeem himself, becomes reckless. he overcompensates, trying to push himself too hard in the heat of the game, desperate to prove his worth to everyone—his teammates, the coaches, and especially y/n. but in his haste, he makes a catastrophic mistake: a poorly timed pass leads to a turnover that results in a crucial goal for the other team, setting his squad back in an irreversible way.

the crowd’s disappointment is palpable, and the coaches’ frustration is evident as they pull jaemin from the field. his teammates’ silent judgment cuts deeper than anything he’s ever felt. jaemin can’t bring himself to face them or the consequences of his actions. the guilt floods in once more, but it’s different now. it’s not just the guilt of hurting y/n—it’s the overwhelming realization that he’s failed everyone around him, including himself.

after the game, jaemin isolates himself even further. he can’t face his teammates, who are all visibly frustrated with him. instead of seeking comfort from those who might understand, he withdraws. it’s a familiar feeling—the loneliness that has haunted him throughout the year—but it feels heavier now. every failure feels like it’s stacking on top of him, weighing him down with the realization that he has no one to turn to.

meanwhile, jeno begins to rise in prominence. his performance during the game is flawless, and his leadership shines through, even in the wake of jaemin’s mistake. he is the one who steps up, leading the boys' team to salvage what they can from the game and earning the respect and admiration that jaemin can no longer seem to command.

the contrast is stark: where jaemin once was the leader, jeno now shines. jaemin can see it all too clearly. jeno’s humility and grace on the field, his consistent performance, and his ability to be there for his teammates in the toughest of moments have earned him the spotlight jaemin so desperately craves but can no longer hold. the more jaemin watches jeno succeed, the deeper his sense of failure grows.

it’s not just on the field. jeno has also become a constant presence in y/n’s life. as the two of them spend more time together, their bond strengthens, and jaemin can’t ignore how close they’ve become. every glance, every shared smile between them feels like a reminder of what he’s lost—not only in terms of soccer but in terms of his relationship with y/n. the jealousy simmers beneath the surface, but jaemin is too wrapped up in his self-destructive thoughts to confront it head-on.

for the first time in his life, jaemin feels like a failure—not just to his teammates, but to himself. he’s become consumed by his guilt, bitterness, and jealousy. instead of redeeming himself, he has pushed y/n further away, sabotaged his friendships, and watched as jeno quietly earned everything jaemin thought was his.

the emotional weight is almost unbearable. jaemin can no longer deny that he’s lost control of his life, both on and off the field. and as he watches jeno rise, he’s faced with the stark reality: the man he once was, the person he thought he could be, is slipping away. the question now isn’t about how he can get y/n back—it’s about whether he can fix himself before he loses everything.

as the months of senior year wear on, jeno’s role in y/n’s life becomes more integral than ever before. he’s always been there, supporting her quietly from the sidelines, respecting her boundaries without ever pushing for more. after everything that’s happened with jaemin, y/n has learned to rely on jeno in ways she never thought she would. despite the wreckage of the past, jeno has never faltered in his loyalty to her. and now, as she continues to heal from the heartbreak and confusion jaemin left behind, jeno’s presence is one of the few constants she can cling to.

jeno never pressures her for anything, never expects anything in return. he simply is there. he shows up in ways that are subtle but meaningful—checking in with her after tough practices, offering a quiet word of encouragement when she’s feeling defeated, and being a steady presence during moments of vulnerability. y/n, still grappling with the emotional weight of her past, finds comfort in his steadiness. she knows she can count on him, no matter what. he’s the one person she can trust without hesitation, a stark contrast to the chaos that has surrounded her love life over the past two years.

while their connection remains primarily rooted in friendship, the way jeno has been there for her throughout the years starts to leave a deeper imprint on y/n. there’s a calmness to him that’s easy to be drawn to—a quiet strength that doesn’t demand attention but can always be relied upon. in a way, jeno is the anchor y/n never knew she needed. his patience and understanding provide her with the safe space she’s been craving, and as they spend more time together, y/n begins to realize just how much he means to her.

jeno’s support has been unwavering, even when the weight of jaemin’s actions and her own self-doubt have threatened to pull her under. jeno listens without judgment when she opens up about her struggles and doesn’t rush to offer advice or solutions. he simply listens and allows her to feel everything she needs to feel, never making her feel like she’s burdening him. his genuine care for her emotional well-being gradually helps y/n rediscover parts of herself that she thought were lost forever—her ability to trust, to be vulnerable, and to believe that she deserves to be happy.

as the year progresses, y/n begins to recognize how much jeno has become a cornerstone in her recovery. she’s not sure when it happened, but somewhere along the way, she’s started relying on him more than she realizes. his presence no longer feels like just the comforting familiarity of an old friend—it feels like something more, something that she hadn’t allowed herself to entertain before. every time they spend time together, she begins to notice the little things about him: the way his eyes light up when he smiles, the way his laugh makes her heart flutter, and how much she values the quiet moments of connection they share.

this growing bond between them doesn’t go unnoticed by y/n, and it begins to make her question everything. could she ever open up to him in the way she once did with jaemin? could she ever allow herself to love him as deeply as she thought she loved jaemin? the questions plague her, but y/n can’t ignore the growing warmth in her chest whenever jeno is near. there’s something so comforting and steady about him that she can’t help but wonder if he’s exactly what she’s been looking for all along.

but there’s still a lingering uncertainty in y/n’s heart. she’s been burned before, and she’s not sure if she’s ready to open herself up to the possibility of falling for someone again, especially someone as important to her as jeno. she knows that she can’t rush her feelings—she can’t rush the healing process. but with every passing day, y/n’s emotional walls begin to crumble just a little bit more, and jeno’s quiet, steady presence is there to catch her when they do.

the distance between y/n and jaemin seems insurmountable. y/n has grown closer to jeno, and jaemin, despite his attempts to mask his feelings, can’t help but feel the growing resentment and jealousy. it’s not just the friendship between y/n and jeno that bothers him—it’s the constant reminder that jeno was there for her when he failed her, when he walked away from their relationship, when he let her down. jaemin’s insecurities and guilt fuel his jealousy, and every time he sees jeno smile at y/n or hear them laughing together, it feels like a dagger to his heart.

jaemin tries to convince himself that he’s fine, that he’s moved on, but the truth is that he hasn’t. his feelings for y/n have never truly gone away. every time he sees them together—at practice, social gatherings, or simply hanging out between classes—the tight knot of jealousy twists in his chest. the more he watches them, the more broken he feels, realizing that he’s lost y/n, and there’s no easy way to get her back. this pain soon turns into frustration and confusion. he wants to reclaim what they had, but he doesn’t know how to fix what’s already been shattered.

unable to handle the weight of his jealousy and guilt, jaemin begins to lash out in small, passive-aggressive ways. he makes snide comments to jeno when they cross paths, mocking his success on the field or teasing him about how close he’s become to y/n. when y/n is around, jaemin often says things that are dismissive or loaded with frustration, hoping to provoke a reaction, hoping to get under their skin. it’s his way of coping with the feelings he can’t articulate or face head-on. but his actions do nothing but create more distance between him and y/n, and deepen his own bitterness.

despite his increasingly erratic behavior, jaemin can’t stop himself. he watches jeno rise in prominence—on the field and off—and it only exacerbates his feelings of failure. jaemin knows that jeno is everything he isn’t: calm, steady, patient. jeno has been there for y/n in ways jaemin never could, and as much as he hates to admit it, jaemin feels like he’s losing her for good. the desperation to get her back grows stronger, but every attempt he makes only pushes her further away.

the tension comes to a head during an intense practice session. the boys’ team is gearing up for an important game, and the pressure is high. jaemin, already struggling with his internal conflict, becomes increasingly reckless. his focus is shattered, and his performance suffers. when a particularly intense play goes wrong because of jaemin’s lack of focus, the frustration from both his teammates and the coaching staff mounts. jaemin can feel the eyes of his teammates on him, disappointed and frustrated. the weight of his failures—on the field and in his personal life—bursts out of him in an explosive meltdown. he lashes out, not only at his teammates but also at jeno, blaming him for everything. in a moment of complete emotional breakdown, jaemin storms off the field, leaving both teams in stunned silence.

the eruption of his emotions doesn’t go unnoticed, and it becomes a moment of reckoning for both jaemin and everyone around him. he has pushed his anger and guilt so far into the back of his mind that it finally comes spilling out in a public, uncontrollable outburst. his colleagues are shocked, unsure of how to handle the situation, but jaemin doesn’t care. all he can think about is the turmoil inside him—the guilt over losing y/n, his jealousy over jeno’s growing presence in her life, and the crushing weight of his own self-doubt.

y/n, having witnessed jaemin’s meltdown from a distance, knows that this moment can’t be ignored. she can no longer avoid the confrontation that’s been looming over her for months. the unresolved tension between her and jaemin is suffocating, and she knows that she can’t continue to keep her emotions bottled up. she finally decides to confront him, to demand the answers that she’s been too afraid to ask.

when they meet in private later, it’s raw and painful. jaemin, despite the guilt written all over his face, can’t seem to form the right words. his apologies come out desperate, but they feel empty to y/n. he begs her to understand that he never meant to hurt her, that he never wanted to lose her, but the weight of his actions hangs heavily between them. y/n, her heart breaking all over again, finally lets out everything she’s been holding inside. she tells him how deeply he hurt her, how his betrayal shattered her trust, and how he emotionally abandoned her when she needed him most. she admits that she will never be able to forgive him for what he did, that the damage is irreparable.

y/n, broken yet resolute, finally says the words that have been lingering in the air for months: “we’re over, jaemin. for good.” the finality in her voice cuts through the thick silence between them, and jaemin knows that this time, there’s no going back.

in that moment, y/n feels a sense of closure, but it’s not a peaceful kind of closure. it’s the painful kind that only comes after everything has been laid bare, after every raw emotion has been exposed. jaemin has lost her, and she has lost him. the weight of it all is crushing, but y/n knows she’s made the right decision. she can’t keep living in the shadow of his mistakes, and she deserves to find peace, even if it means leaving jaemin behind.

jaemin watches her leave, the sting of her words echoing in his chest. he stands there, alone and defeated, knowing that the person he loved is finally gone from his life. he has no one to blame but himself.

after jaemin’s emotional breakdown at practice, the tension between him and jeno reaches a boiling point. the air is thick with unspoken words as jaemin’s jealousy and guilt continue to simmer. jeno, ever the composed and patient one, has remained calm throughout the ordeal, but this time, something snaps within him. he can no longer stand by and watch jaemin tear himself apart and take everyone down with him.

it happens after practice, as the boys’ team is cooling down. jaemin is pacing restlessly, his mind clouded with anger and frustration. he can’t shake the image of y/n and jeno—how close they’ve become, how much jeno has been there for her when jaemin couldn’t be. the jealousy is gnawing at him again, twisting every thought in his head. he feels as though the walls are closing in around him, and he can’t breathe.

jeno, having just finished a set of drills, walks toward him, his usual calm demeanor masking the concern brewing inside him. he’s been trying to get through to jaemin for weeks, but the guy seems impossible to reach.

"jaemin," jeno calls out, his voice steady but firm, “you need to stop. you’re not just hurting yourself—you're hurting everyone around you.”

jaemin stops pacing and looks up at jeno, his eyes wild with emotion. the words come out in a venomous hiss. “what do you know about what i’m going through, huh? you think you’re some perfect hero, standing there with your fake sympathy, acting like you care about me? or y/n?”

jeno’s patience wears thin, and he takes a step closer. “this isn’t about us, jaemin. you’re spiraling. we’re trying to help you, but you’re pushing everyone away.”

jaemin’s hands clench into fists, his breathing ragged. “help me? you don’t even understand. you think you can just step in and take over like you’ve always been the better guy? you think you’re the one who deserves y/n?”

the words hit harder than jeno expects, and for a moment, he’s taken aback. he doesn’t know if jaemin is just lashing out in his pain or if there’s something deeper at play, but the mention of y/n makes his blood boil. he can’t hold back anymore.

without thinking, jeno steps forward and shoves jaemin’s shoulder hard, a physical push meant to get him to back off. "enough. you’re not thinking clearly.”

but jaemin’s temper flares up instantly. his eyes darken with rage, and before jeno can react, jaemin swings a fist at him, hitting his chest with a force that knocks jeno back a step.

"don’t touch me!" jaemin yells, his voice cracking with a mix of anger and frustration. "you have no idea what it’s like to lose everything!"

jeno’s mind is spinning, his heart racing, but he’s not going to back down now. he shoves jaemin back, this time harder, and they stand face to face, only inches apart, both breathing heavily. "and you’re about to lose everyone, jaemin, if you don’t get your act together. y/n deserves better than this. you’re not helping her or yourself by destroying everything."

jaemin’s face contorts with pain, and for a split second, it almost looks like he’s going to break down. but instead, his eyes harden, and he takes a step forward, his fists raised again.

"stay the hell away from her, jeno!" jaemin spits out, his voice laced with venom.

but jeno, now pushing back his own frustration and anger, grabs jaemin by the wrist, forcing him to face the reality of the situation. "i’m not going to let you drag her into your mess any longer. you want to fix things? stop running from it. stop blaming everyone else."

the two stand there, the tension crackling in the air, neither of them moving. for a moment, everything is still. jeno’s grip on jaemin’s wrist tightens, not in anger, but to ground the situation, to get jaemin to listen. jaemin’s chest heaves with ragged breaths, his emotions spilling over in every movement. but after a few moments, jaemin’s eyes flicker with a mix of shame and frustration. he pulls away, stumbling back, his voice barely a whisper, but still full of bitterness.

"get out of my face, jeno. i don’t need your help. i never did."

jeno doesn’t move, his eyes softening, though the hurt is still there. "i’m not leaving you, jaemin. i can’t just stand by and watch you destroy yourself."

jaemin scoffs, shaking his head. "then maybe you should have stayed out of it from the start."

with that, jaemin turns and walks away, leaving jeno standing there in silence, the weight of their confrontation hanging in the air like an unspoken truth.

jeno’s heart aches, but he knows there’s nothing more he can do for jaemin—not until jaemin is ready to face the truth himself.

as the fallout from jaemin’s betrayal continues to cast a long shadow over y/n’s heart, jeno quietly becomes her anchor. he’s always been there, but now, his presence feels different. there are moments when she realizes how much she’s come to rely on him—how steady and constant he’s been when everything else in her life has been in turmoil. the emotional bond between them grows stronger as y/n opens up to him in ways she hasn’t been able to with anyone else.

jeno, for his part, has never wavered. he’s been patient, never pushing y/n, but always available when she needs him. he’s seen the pain in her eyes, felt the tremors of her heartache, and offered his quiet support from the sidelines. but lately, the way y/n looks at him has changed. the small, lingering glances, the way she leans on him when the weight of her day gets too much—it’s all starting to feel more intimate, more real. they both know it, even if neither of them is ready to say it aloud.

it’s after one particularly grueling practice that jeno finds the courage to take the next step. the team has just finished a session, and the night air is cool as y/n sits alone on the bleachers, exhausted but still lost in thought. jeno approaches her slowly, as if testing the waters, and sits down beside her. for a moment, neither of them speaks. the silence between them is comfortable, but there’s something different about it now—a quiet anticipation.

jeno clears his throat before speaking, his voice unusually soft. “y/n,” he starts, his gaze lingering on her but never meeting her eyes. “i need to tell you something.”

y/n looks up at him, confused. she’s never seen him so serious, so vulnerable. “what is it?”

jeno exhales deeply, his hands clasped tightly in his lap. the weight of his words is heavier than he expected. “i’ve always loved you. i just didn’t know how to say it.”

y/n’s breath catches in her throat, her heart pounding in her chest. she blinks, unsure of how to process his confession. she’s never seen jeno in this light before—he’s always been her rock, her friend, but now his words hang between them, so raw, so real.

she doesn’t know what to say. a thousand thoughts race through her mind, memories of jaemin’s betrayal, the pain of their relationship unraveling, the way she’d sworn never to let herself be vulnerable again. but in this moment, all of that seems distant, almost irrelevant. she looks at jeno and sees the quiet sincerity in his eyes—the way he’s always been there for her, never asking for anything in return.

jeno sees the hesitation in her eyes and his heart drops. he opens his mouth to say something more, but y/n beats him to it.

“i—jeno, i didn’t know.” her voice is barely above a whisper. “i did realize how much... how much you’ve always been there for me. but now... i don’t know what to say.”

jeno nods, understanding. he’s not expecting anything from her right away. he’s been patient for so long, and he knows y/n needs time. “you don’t have to say anything,” he replies quietly. “i just... i couldn’t keep it to myself anymore.”

there’s a long pause as y/n processes his words, her emotions swirling in her chest. she can’t help but feel a shift in herself. as much as she’s tried to keep her heart guarded, jeno has slowly chipped away at those walls without her even realizing it. he’s always been there, offering support, offering love in the most unspoken ways. and now, with his confession, she can no longer ignore the feelings she’s developed for him—feelings she didn’t want to have, not after everything with jaemin.

finally, y/n turns to him, her eyes soft. “jeno, i... i think i might feel the same way,” she admits, her voice trembling with a mix of relief and fear. “i’ve been so afraid of getting hurt again, but you’ve been here for me, even when i didn’t deserve it.”

jeno smiles, the weight lifting from his shoulders. “you’ve always deserved it, y/n. you just didn’t know it yet.”

and for the first time in a long time, y/n feels like she’s finally where she’s meant to be.

as their relationship begins to shift into something more, y/n and jeno find themselves spending even more time together. their bond, once rooted in friendship, now flourishes in the space between quiet conversations and shared moments of understanding. every time y/n looks at jeno, she sees not just the friend she’s known for years, but someone who has truly been there for her when she needed him the most.

jeno, for his part, is patient and careful, never rushing things, but always present. he’s no longer just the quiet support he once was; he’s becoming the person y/n confides in the most. they find themselves talking for hours, even on days when there’s nothing urgent to say. jeno listens intently to y/n, offering words of encouragement when she doubts herself, his voice always steady and reassuring. when y/n has a bad day or feels the weight of the past dragging her down, jeno is the one she turns to, and he’s always there, without fail.

their time together starts to shift from the familiar rhythm of friendship to something more intimate. they grab coffee together before practice, their fingers brushing when they both reach for the cup. it’s innocent, a fleeting moment, but it makes both of them pause, just for a second, realizing how natural it feels. there’s an ease between them now, a shared history that makes their bond stronger than ever. the way jeno looks at her, his eyes filled with admiration, and the way she catches herself smiling when they share a joke—it all feels like the beginning of something new.

they spend more time outside of soccer too. jeno starts inviting y/n to small, low-key hangouts—movie nights, walks around the campus, even late-night ice cream runs when the weight of their studies gets too heavy to bear. these moments, simple as they are, become cherished memories for both of them. y/n finds herself looking forward to these quiet times with him, moments when the world slows down and it’s just the two of them, enjoying each other’s company without any pressure or expectations.

one evening, after a long week of practice and studying, jeno takes y/n to a small, tucked-away café on the edge of town. they sit outside, sipping hot chocolate under the soft glow of string lights, the air crisp and refreshing. they talk about everything and nothing—how their teams are doing, their plans for the future, and the small, silly things that make them laugh. jeno’s laughter is like a balm to y/n’s soul, and she finds herself laughing in a way she hasn’t in so long.

as the night stretches on, jeno becomes quieter, his eyes studying y/n as if he’s memorizing every detail of the moment. finally, he speaks, his voice soft but steady.

“you know, i’ve always loved spending time with you,” he says, his tone almost too gentle for the weight of his words. “but now, it feels different. in a good way, though.”

y/n meets his gaze, her heart fluttering slightly. she knows exactly what he means. there’s something undeniably deeper between them now—something unspoken but always present, lingering in the quiet moments they share.

“i feel the same way,” y/n admits, her voice barely above a whisper. she takes a deep breath before continuing, unsure of what comes next. “i didn’t realize how much i needed this, how much i needed you.”

jeno’s expression softens, a small, warm smile playing at the corners of his lips. “i’ll always be here for you, y/n. whatever you need.”

his words mean more to her than she could express. it’s not just about the reassurance; it’s the sincerity behind them, the unshakeable presence he’s given her since the very beginning. it’s comforting and grounding, the way she can rely on him without question.

as the weeks go by, y/n’s heart begins to heal in ways she didn’t think were possible. jeno’s love is different from anything she ever thought she needed, but it’s everything she’s come to crave. it’s steady and gentle, always patient, and never demanding. they share the quiet, tender moments that begin to stitch her heart back together—small gestures like a soft touch on the shoulder or the way jeno looks at her when she’s not paying attention.

their relationship deepens further with each passing day. there are no grand gestures, no rush, just a growing sense of security and warmth that builds between them. jeno’s hand finds its place in hers more often now, their fingers intertwining as they walk to and from class, the simple act a silent promise of what they’re becoming.

there’s a day during midterms when y/n is feeling particularly overwhelmed. jeno notices the way she’s rubbing her temples, the exhaustion written all over her face, and without a word, he takes her study materials and pulls her away from the books. he insists they take a break, dragging her out for a walk around the campus, forcing her to breathe and focus on something other than the weight of the semester. it’s in moments like this that y/n realizes just how much jeno cares for her—how much he’s always cared, even when she didn’t see it.

as the weeks turn into months, y/n’s feelings for jeno only grow stronger. it’s not just his patience or the way he supports her—it’s the way he makes her feel safe. he’s the person she’s finally allowed herself to trust again, the person she knows will never let her down.

one night, after a game, when the adrenaline has worn off and they’re sitting on the grass, watching the sunset together, y/n leans her head against jeno’s shoulder. the peace between them is tangible, and she knows, without a doubt, that this is where she’s meant to be.

for the first time since jaemin, y/n feels truly happy, and it’s with jeno, the person who’s been there all along, quietly, patiently waiting for the chance to make her his. it feels like a second chance—not just at love, but at life, at healing.

the final year of college has flown by, a blur of practices, games, and emotional highs and lows. y/n, jeno, and jaemin find themselves standing at the threshold of a new chapter, the world of professional soccer calling their names. the three of them have worked so hard to reach this point, each driven by their own dreams and aspirations, but now that graduation has arrived, it feels bittersweet. it’s not just the end of college; it’s the end of an era for all of them.

the atmosphere in the locker room is charged with excitement, nerves, and anticipation as the day of signing for their respective teams finally arrives. it’s a moment they’ve all dreamed of, and now it’s here. they’ve each worked tirelessly to get to this point, and their futures are about to change forever.

y/n holds her breath as she watches the team representatives enter, the thick envelopes containing offers for professional contracts in their hands. her heart beats faster when her name is called first. she’s been offered a spot with a prestigious women's team in the usa, a huge accomplishment and a dream come true. it’s a victory she’s worked years for, and as she holds the contract in her hands, she feels a rush of pride and excitement. but as she glances over at jeno and jaemin, she can’t ignore the sinking feeling in her stomach. she knows something else is coming—the realization that their paths are diverging in ways that are beyond their control.

then, it’s jeno and jaemin’s turn. the room goes quiet as the tension rises. they’ve both been offered a spot on the same team—one of the top teams in korea. the news hits y/n like a wave. they’ll be playing for the same team, side by side, in korea, while she’s headed in the complete opposite direction. the irony doesn’t escape her. once, they were all three so intertwined in their lives, their friendships, and their dreams. now, their futures are pulling them apart.

jeno glances over at y/n, his expression unreadable. he’d always hoped they could find a way to make things work, but as reality sets in, a silent understanding passes between them. her future is in the usa, and his is in korea. there’s no way their relationship can survive such distance, especially with their professional commitments looming over them. the time they spent together—growing closer, learning from each other, falling in love—feels like it was just a moment in time. the possibility of continuing their love story seems impossible, as much as they want to.

jaemin, meanwhile, stands a little further away, his own feelings tangled in the mix. he’s proud of both y/n and jeno, but the reality of it all is suffocating. he’s tried so hard to fix things with y/n, but now, seeing how their futures are pulling them in different directions, it feels like everything has slipped through his fingers. he doesn’t know what’s next for him and y/n, but he can’t deny that the emotional baggage of their past might just be the thing that keeps them apart, even if he still wishes he could somehow undo it all.

after the signing ceremony, y/n, jeno, and jaemin find themselves alone in a quiet corner of the campus. it’s the last time they’ll all be together like this, the weight of it heavy in the air. jeno looks at y/n with a mixture of love and sadness in his eyes. he’s always been the steady one, the one who supported her through thick and thin. but as much as he wants to hold on to the hope of a future together, reality is crashing down around them.

“i’m proud of you,” he says softly, his voice thick with emotion. “you deserve this, y/n. you’ve worked so hard.”

y/n’s eyes well up with tears, and she smiles through the ache in her chest. “i’m proud of you, too, jeno. i always have been.”

but then, the silence falls between them. it’s the unspoken truth that neither of them can ignore—their love story was never meant to last with the paths they’re about to take. they both know it, but neither can say the words out loud, not just yet.

jaemin stands a little to the side, watching the two of them. he can see the pain in both of their eyes, the unspoken goodbye they’re each trying to avoid. as much as he wants to be angry, as much as he wants to hold on to the hope of fixing things with y/n, he knows that their futures are too different now. there’s no easy way to say goodbye, but in his heart, he knows it’s the only way forward.

finally, it’s y/n who breaks the silence. she turns to jeno, her voice trembling slightly. “i think…i think we both know this can’t work, jeno.”

jeno swallows hard, his gaze meeting hers. the love they’ve shared, the bond they’ve formed—it’s real, but the reality of their careers, their lives, their futures—it’s too big to ignore. he nods, his chest heavy with the weight of it all.

“i know,” he says quietly. “i love you, y/n. i always will, but i don’t want to hold you back. you have your future ahead of you, and i can’t be the reason you don’t go for it.”

y/n smiles softly, her heart breaking all over again. “i love you too, jeno. i always will, but this…this isn’t the time for us. i need to do this on my own.”

the night before y/n’s departure, the campus is quiet. graduation is over, the signing ceremony is done, and now it’s just the lingering goodbyes and the last few moments before they all part ways for good. y/n sits in her dorm room, packing the last of her belongings into a suitcase. her heart feels heavy, weighed down by the reality of everything that’s happened. jeno is going to korea, jaemin is staying in the city, and y/n, despite all her achievements, can’t shake the sense of emptiness that’s settled in her chest.

she’s been trying to stay strong, trying to be excited for the future ahead, but as the hours tick by, the truth becomes unavoidable. she’s about to leave behind everything that’s been familiar to her for so long—her friends, her teammates, the life she’s built here. but it’s not just the soccer; it’s jeno. the bond they shared, the way they supported each other through the darkest moments, the love that had started to grow between them—it feels like it’s being torn apart by the distance that looms ahead.

as she stares out of the window at the darkening sky, there’s a knock at her door. it’s soft at first, hesitant. but y/n knows exactly who it is before she even opens it.

when she swings the door open, jeno stands there, looking exhausted and conflicted. his hands are stuffed into the pockets of his hoodie, his gaze fixed on the floor. he doesn’t say anything at first, but the sadness in his eyes speaks volumes.

y/n steps aside, letting him in, her heart aching at the sight of him. she’s tried so hard to push down her feelings, to convince herself that this is just the way things are. but seeing him like this, standing on the edge of everything, it shatters the walls she’s carefully built.

“jeno…” she whispers, unsure of what to say.

“i don’t want you to leave,” he finally admits, his voice raw, thick with emotion. he looks up at her then, his eyes brimming with tears. “i don’t want to lose you.”

y/n feels a lump form in her throat as she meets his gaze. she’s always known how much jeno cares for her, how much he’s supported her, but seeing him like this—vulnerable, honest—it breaks her heart in a way she wasn’t prepared for. she thought she was the one struggling, the one fighting to let go. but now, in this moment, she realizes that jeno is struggling just as much.

“i don’t want to leave either, jeno,” she says softly, her voice trembling. “i don’t know how to say goodbye to you. it feels like everything i’ve known is slipping away.”

jeno steps closer, his hands reaching for hers. he’s shaking slightly, the weight of their impending separation clearly taking its toll. “then don’t say goodbye. stay here. with me. we’ll figure it out, y/n. i can’t imagine a future without you.”

y/n pulls her hands away, her emotions swirling like a storm inside her. she wants to believe him, wants to believe that maybe—just maybe—they can make it work. but she knows the reality is far more complicated. she’s heading to the usa for her career, and he’s going to korea for his. no matter how much they love each other, the distance would be insurmountable.

“i can’t, jeno,” she says, her voice barely above a whisper. “we both have our futures ahead of us. and i don’t want to hold you back from yours. i don’t want you to look back and regret staying for me when you should have been chasing your dreams.”

jeno's eyes fill with pain as he steps even closer, the space between them disappearing. he reaches out, gently cupping her face, his thumb brushing away a tear she hadn’t even realized had fallen.

“please don’t say that,” he whispers. “i don’t want to let you go. i don’t care about anything else but you. i just want to be with you.”

y/n closes her eyes, a tear slipping down her cheek. “jeno… i can’t stay. but i want you to know… i will always love you. you’ve been my rock through all of this, and i don’t think i’ll ever stop caring for you. but i have to go, and you have to go, too.”

for a long moment, they just stand there, the weight of their conversation hanging heavy in the air. finally, jeno speaks again, his voice soft, almost like a plea. “can i just hold you for a little while? just… let me hold you, y/n. i just need to be close to you.”

y/n nods silently, too emotionally drained to say anything more. she allows him to pull her into his arms, her head resting on his chest. the world outside seems to fade away, leaving only the sound of jeno’s heartbeat in the quiet room.

as they stand there, holding each other, y/n can feel the warmth of his embrace wrapping around her, the comfort of being with him one last time. she closes her eyes, allowing herself to forget everything—her pain, the distance, the uncertainty of the future. for a brief, perfect moment, there is only the two of them.

and in that moment, she feels herself slipping into sleep, her body relaxing against his. the last thing she feels before she drifts off is jeno gently pressing a kiss to the top of her head, his arms wrapped securely around her.

“i love you,” he whispers, the words a soft promise in the quiet darkness.

y/n’s breathing slows, and though she can’t respond in that moment, she knows she’s leaving a piece of her heart with him.

for now, it’s enough to be with him like this. to have one last moment of peace before the future takes them in different directions.

as she falls asleep in his arms, y/n knows that no matter what happens, she will always carry the love they shared—deep within her heart, a love that was pure, even if it was only meant for a chapter of her life.

taglist . . open @chenlezip @polarisjisung @mrkified @narcisstict @injvns

[everdeensworld]

VDay prompts: 9&10, hotch x fem!reader (could be gen neutral, bau!reader too!) Aaron saying the dialogue

prompts: #9 “just keep your eyes closed.” “you’re not leading me to my death are you?” #10 “i hate valentine’s day, it’s pointless.” “i’m going to change your mind, go out with me.”

authors note: haha! don’t worry about it, thank you for the request!

prompt list

“i hate valentine’s day, its pointless.” being a hopeless romantic, hearing aaron say that in such confidence had urged you to change his mind.

he and been a pessimist as long as you knew him, but you knew he enjoyed holidays like christmas and halloween, the bau had always made them into a big deal, and he did have a young son, so you knew those days were very magical for kids, for his son, so therefore they were magical to him too.

but hating valentine’s day! you just could not allow it, and this was the perfect opportunity you couldn’t pass up, having feelings for your boss was taboo, but after gaining a friendship with him, it felt a little less taboo.

“i’m going to change your mind, go out with me.” you said to him in full confidence, which had caught his usually stoic self off guard, he lets out a little laugh, assuming you were just kidding.

“i’m not joking, go out with me.” you say, then clearing your throat. “if you want to that is.”

he stared down at your face trying to decipher wether or not you were really being serious, slowly his face softened. “okay, alright then, i will go out with you, you better dazzle me, i do hate valentine’s day after all.”

you smile, gleefully. “of-course, nothing less for you.”

that’s how you got to where you are now, his eyes covered with a blindfold, and you were covering that with your hand, for good measure, leading him to where you’d be having your date.

after he had agreed you had spend most your free time planning for it, you’d been hopelessly in love with aaron since you’d met him, and taking him out on valentines day could be the chance to finally have him love you back.

“do i have to have this blindfold on?” he asked with a grumble, almost stumbling over a tree stump, trying to reach up to take it off but you swat his hand away.

“just keep your eyes closed!” you tell him, in a firm voice, eliciting a soft chuckle from him.

“you’re not leading me to my death are you?” he asked, feeling you lead him down a path that was pretty narrow, he hears you let out a soft huff.

“don’t you have any faith in me aaron, you’re too— work mode.”

before he could make a witty response back, you let go of his hand and swivel around to him, “okay, we’re here, you can take off your blindfold now!”

he’s quick to take it off, deep down he knows he’d been looking forward to this, even if he claimed he hated valentine’s day, he couldn’t, not when you loved it.

his eyes searched the area, it was a little patch of grass, a few candles and a picnic blanket decked out with treats, snacks and meal foods, his eyes widened.

maybe it was high-school of him to feel like he had butterflies, it had been a while since he’d experienced anything remotely romantic.

ever since he’d lost his ex-wife, he steered clear of love, it scared him, he didn’t think that he deserved it, and he didn’t think anyone would want a man with all his baggage, not only that he had a young son.

he didn’t want to put anyone in danger, and he didn’t want to put you in danger.

the role-reversal was quite a strange feeling on his part, he’d never had someone lead him to a picnic with, blindfold on, or ask him to be their valentine so sweetly, but it was quite freeing, it made him feel liked, worthy.

not that he didn’t mind being the one to make romantic gestures, in fact, if you hadn’t been the one to ask him out, he had shamefully, got a corny valenties card with a bee on it that said ‘bee my valentine.’

after all, before you had boldly asked him out on a date, he pretended he didn’t care for valentine’s day.

he was glad he didn’t have that to show, seeing the effort you had put in for him, he would’ve looked like the world greatest asshole. “this is… wonderful.” he smiled.

“is it?” you look up at him. “i know it’s a bit.. uh, girly, i hope you don’t mind, i just thought that even men deserve to be doted on every once in a while.”

the hesitant look on your face made his heart swell, “it’s perfect, i think valentine’s day is creeping up on me..” he smirked, making you grin with excitement.

“well! now we’ve got to make you love it, i’ve got champagne, and all your favourite foods.” you say, leading him to the picnic blanket, he followed willingly.

what you didn’t know was, you’d already had him hooked on valentine’s day, he loved it, though watching you try and convince him a little bit longer wouldnt hurt.

[strawbvrrry]

࣪ ۪ ̃ ✿ STUCK WITH YOU — EP 000 -> prologue

This chapter contains; 2.2k WC, arguments (y/n and her dad)

Previous → next → masterlist

You wake up to the warm sunlight peeking through your window, stretching your arms and yawning. It's just another typical Saturday morning. You get dressed and head downstairs, expecting the usual aroma of freshly brewed coffee and your mom's cooking.

As you enter the kitchen, you notice your parents sitting at the table, their faces somber. Your dad's serious expression makes your heart skip a beat, while your mom's pitiful look makes you feel uneasy.

"Good morning," you say, trying to sound cheerful.

Your dad nods, his eyes fixed on some papers in front of him. "Good morning. Prepare your breakfast and come sit with us."

Your mom forces a weak smile, but it only makes you more anxious. Something is off.

You pour yourself a bowl of cereal and sit down beside your mom, trying to read their expressions. "What's wrong?" you ask, your spoon hovering over your bowl.

Your dad clears his throat, his eyes still fixed on the papers. "We need to talk."

You nod, curiosity getting the better of you. "Oh, sure, about what?" you ask, but before you can get an answer, your dad slides the papers in front of you and hands you a pen.

"Sign here," he instructs, his voice firm but soft.

You look at him with confusion, unsure of what's going on. "Why though?" you ask, but your dad's expression remains serious.

"No questions asked, just sign it," he orders, his tone brooking no argument.

You hesitate for a moment, but something about your dad's demeanor makes you decide not to push the issue. You take the pen and sign the papers, feeling a sense of trepidation as you do so. What have you just agreed to?

"So, now would you tell me what I've gotten myself into?" you asked, trying to keep your tone light despite the growing sense of unease in your stomach.

Your father's expression turned concerned, and he leaned forward, his eyes locked on yours. "Yu Jimin, you're getting married," he began, his voice measured. "It's an arranged marriage, and your partner is Karina, the CEO of SM Entertainment."

You felt like you'd been punched in the gut. Your mind went blank, and you were unable to process what you were being told. You stared at your father, your eyes wide with shock and disbelief.

"Married?" you repeated, your voice barely above a whisper. "Arranged marriage?" You couldn't even begin to wrap your head around it.

Your father nodded, his expression somber. "Yes, Yu Jimin. It's a good opportunity for our family, and it will secure our business ties with SM Entertainment."

You felt like you were living in a nightmare. You couldn't believe what you were being told. You were being married off to someone you'd never met, someone who was a CEO, no less. It was all too much to take in.

You sat there, frozen in shock, as your father continued to explain the details of the arrangement. You heard him talking about the benefits of the marriage, about how it would help your family's business, but it all sounded like white noise to you.

You were unable to speak, unable to process your emotions. You were trapped in a state of numbness, unable to comprehend the reality of your situation.

Minutes ticked by, and you were still sitting there, staring blankly at your father. He was stopped talking now, and he was watching you with a concerned expression.

You took a deep breath, trying to shake off the shock. You looked at your father, and you tried to speak, but your voice was barely above a whisper.

"This can't be happening," you said, your words trembling. "I won't do it."

Your father's expression turned stern, and he leaned back in his chair. "This is not a decision to be taken lightly," he said firmly. "The arrangements have already been made, and it's too late to back out now."

You felt a surge of anger and frustration. How could your father do this to you? Didn't he care about your feelings or your future?

"But what about what I want?" you asked, trying to keep your voice steady. "Don't I get a say in this?"

Your father sighed and rubbed his temples. "You're not thinking about the bigger picture here. This marriage will secure our family's future and provide a stable alliance with SM Entertainment. It's a sacrifice you need to make for the good of our family."

You shook your head, feeling a sense of desperation wash over you. "I won't do it," you repeated, trying to sound firmer. "I won't marry someone I've never met."

Your father's expression turned cold, and he stood up from his chair. "You will do as you're told," he said, his voice dripping with authority. "You will marry Yu Jimin, and you will make this work. That's the end of it."

As your mother sat down beside you, you could feel the tension in your body begin to ease slightly. You had been so angry and hurt by your father's words that you hadn't been able to bear the thought of talking to him. But your mother was different. She had always been the calm and gentle one, the one who could soothe your hurt feelings and make you feel better.

Your mother put a gentle hand on your shoulder, and you felt a lump form in your throat. You had been trying to hold back tears, but now you could feel them pricking at the corners of your eyes.

"Hey, kiddo," your mother said softly. "What's going on? Why are you so upset?"

You took a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to calm down. You didn't want to cry in front of your mother, but at the same time, you needed to talk to her. You needed to tell her how you were feeling.

"It's just...Dad doesn't understand me," you said, your voice shaking slightly. "He never listens to me. He just assumes things and then gets angry with me when I don't meet his expectations."

Your mother nodded sympathetically, her eyes filled with understanding. "I know, sweetie," she said. "Your father can be a bit...old-fashioned sometimes. But that doesn't mean he doesn't love you. He just doesn't always know how to show it."

You sighed, feeling a bit frustrated. You had heard this before, but it didn't make it any easier to deal with. Why couldn't your father just understand you for once?

Your mother seemed to sense your frustration, and she put her arm around you, pulling you into a hug. "It's okay, kiddo," she said. "I'm here for you. And I'll talk to your father, okay? I'll try to help him understand you better."

You nodded, feeling a bit better. You knew that your mother would do her best to help you, and that thought gave you a bit of comfort.

Your mother walked into the living room, where your father was sitting on the couch, looking stern and unyielding. She took a deep breath and approached him, her voice calm and measured.

"Honey, I think we need to talk about what just happened," she said, sitting down beside him.

Your father looked at her, his expression unchanging. "What's there to talk about?" he asked gruffly. "I've made my decision, and that's final."

Your mother placed a gentle hand on his arm. "I understand that you think this business arrangement is beneficial for our family, but you have to understand that this is a lot for our child to take in. A loveless marriage, a business arrangement without any emotional attachment... it's not something that one can easily agree to."

Your father's expression softened slightly, but he still looked unconvinced. "It's just business, dear," he said. "Our child will understand the benefits of this arrangement once she sees the bigger picture."

Your mother sighed patiently. "But at what cost? Y/n’s happiness? Her chance at finding true love? We can't just sacrifice her emotional well-being for the sake of business."

Your father looked at her, his eyes narrowing slightly. "You're not taking my side on this, are you?" he asked, his voice tinged with accusation.

Your mother shook her head. "I'm not taking sides, honey. I'm just trying to be realistic about this situation. Our child needs time to think about this, to consider all her options. Can't we just give her that?"

Your father sighed heavily, his shoulders sagging in defeat. "Fine," he said finally. "I'll give her some time. But I expect her to come around to seeing things my way eventually."

Your mother nodded, a small smile on her face. "I'll talk to her, honey. I'll make sure she understands the situation."

Your father nodded, standing up from the couch. "Good. I'll leave it to you, then."

As your father walked out of the room, your mother let out a deep sigh. She knew that this was far from over, that there would be many more battles to fight before this was all resolved. But for now, she was just grateful to have bought you some time.

She walked over to the stairs, her eyes looking up towards your room. She knew that you were still reeling from the news, that you were still trying to process everything that had happened. She wanted to go up there and talk to you, to reassure you that everything would be okay. But for now, she decided to give you some space. She knew that you needed time to think, to figure out what you wanted to do next.

As she turned to walk back into the living room, she couldn't help but feel a sense of unease. She knew that this was just the beginning of a long and difficult journey, one that would test your strength and your resolve. But she also knew that you were strong, that you could get through this. And she was determined to be there for you, every step of the way.

Your mother sat down beside you on the bed, a gentle smile on her face. "I know this is a lot to take in, sweetie," she said. "But I want you to know that I'm here for you, and I'll support you every step of the way."

You looked at her, your expression calm and collected. "Okay, Mom," you said. "I'll do it. But can you tell me more about...about Jimin?"

Your mother nodded. "Of course, sweetie. Jimin is the CEO of her family's company, and she's very successful. The marriage will be a great opportunity for our family to form a strong business alliance."

You nodded, taking it all in. "Okay...and when am I meeting her?" you asked.

"Actually, you'll be meeting her at the engagement party next week," your mother replied. "It's a formal event, and you'll have a chance to get to know her a bit better."

You raised an eyebrow. "And what can I expect from this marriage?" you asked, your tone neutral.

Your mother hesitated for a moment before answering. "Well, sweetie, the marriage will be more of a business arrangement. Jimin will be taking over her family's company, and this marriage will help to secure our family's interests."

You nodded, your expression still calm. "I see," you said. "Will I be moving in with her?"

Your mother nodded. "Yes, sweetie. You'll be living with Jimin at her family's estate. But don't worry, you'll have your own space and freedom to do as you please. You won't be expected to change your lifestyle drastically."

You nodded, taking that in. "And what about us? Will I still be able to see you and Dad?"

Your mother smiled and took your hand. "Of course, sweetie. You'll always be welcome to come home and visit us. And we'll make sure to stay in touch regularly. You're not losing us, okay?"

As your mother finished talking, you nodded absent-mindedly, your mind already wandering to the upcoming meeting with Jimin. You couldn't help but feel a whirlwind of emotions: anxiety, curiosity, and a hint of apprehension.

What would Jimin be like? Would you get along? Would this marriage be a prison or a opportunity?

You looked out the window, watching as the sun began to set, casting a golden glow over the city. You felt a sense of uncertainty wash over you, but also a sense of determination. You would face whatever came next with courage and poise.

As you sat there, lost in thought, your mother gently squeezed your hand. "It'll be okay, sweetie," she whispered. "I'll be here for you, every step of the way."

You smiled weakly, feeling a sense of gratitude towards your mother. You knew that she would always be there to support you, no matter what.

As the sun dipped below the horizon, you took a deep breath, steeling yourself for what was to come. Tomorrow was a new day, and with it, a new chapter in your life. One that would bring its own set of challenges and opportunities.

And at the center of it all, was Jimin. The woman you would soon be meeting, and eventually, marrying.

Taglist -> @yeetaberry127 @spidrgamer @sunshinez4 @tjdc25 @aesculapi @peranoo @yuyuy90 @dreamingst99 @awhrin @jellaaa @syronns @siyooungi @hyunboo @gtfoiydlyj @r4cjh

[soaringwide]

PAC: A message regarding the situation in your mind

9 Piles, short-to-medium messages that can be applied to multiple situations.

I saw this reading by @redwinewhiteroses and thought it was such a wonderful idea that I wanted to do something similar.

Also, I wanted to get back into pick a card readings by doing shorter messages than what I usually do, and something people can go back to when needed for different purposes or situations.

So take a deep breath and focus on the situation you'd like an answer for when selecting the eyeshadow swatch.

book a reading ★ all PACs ★ testimonials

ONDINE 01

You have completed a cycle, and before you lies an open field. I think that despite this time being very exciting, because you have the opportunity to get on this entirely new journey, to start fresh and go wherever you want, I think that your previous failures still weight heavily on your mind, and that you are deeply scared to repeat past mistakes. You fear that things will end horribly before you even set foot on this new journey. I think the message here is to learn to not be so pessimistic and to have a bit of trust in yourself and the World. Perhaps you also need to spend some time recentering yourself and cooling down your heated emotions, so that you can see this situation more objectively, and avoid thinking the worse prematurely.

Try to channel the energy of excitement for this adventure that you are about to go on. Find the sense of wonder for what the world can offer, without worrying so much. Part of your journey is about finding this sense of magic and faith back, so that you have the energy to start something fresh. Yes no road is ever fully safe and nobody knows what's around the corner, but you can prepare for it, and you can handle it. So smile, for today a new sun is rising.

GALAPAGOS 02

You are being presented with an opportunity that you are pondering on deeply. I see you wondering if you can trust this situation, or person, thinking about where it could lead you, how it could unfold, playing with scenarios in your mind as a way to plan ahead. This situation, or person, is provoking new and exciting emotions to rise to the surface, but you are hesitant to trust it and go along with these sweet feelings it's creating in you. It seems good, but is it too good to be true? Are you fooling yourself and seeing things too naively? I think you may be trying to rule your heart with your mind because you don't trust this fickle thing, as if you were trying to over-compensate the strength of your desires, setting them aside by being as objective as possible.

The message here is about getting out of your head and back into the world. Not everything needs to be figured out, some things are meant to be lived to the fullest, with their light and shadow. Today you are being called to savor the pleasures of what is happening, to open yourself up to celebrate the beauty and joy of life and to share it with others. Things may not be as unstable as you fear them to be, so open your heart and join the dance. Beautiful memories await to be made.

NIGHTCLUBBING 03

The energy of your situation is one of withdrawal and deep reflection. There is a profound need to reconnect with the deepest aspects of yourself. For some, it could have to do with your spiritual self, as in, reconnecting with what is True to you, what gives you a sense of faith, what drives your soul forward. In all cases, this is about piercing through the night with the light of your mind in order to find hidden knowledge within yourself. A type of knowledge that is unique to yourself, your path, and your life. Perhaps you are currently reconsidering important life choices, or trying to find a new sense of direction, and you are being nudged to look inwards and focusing on your own truth rather than looking out to find answers.

What's interesting, is that the advice is talking about what unfolds after this time of self reflection. You are advised to take your gaze out of yourself and towards the world, to first plan actionable steps in order to bring your plan to life. You gained the clarity you needed and you have all you need to focus your energy in a focused way. Not only that careful but determined process will bring success to your endeavor, I'm also getting that the process itself will feel rewarding, as in, it will feel like reaping the fruits while you are moving forward. It's like after all this soul searching, moving forward again will feel like a win in itself, and you are encouraged to enjoy this stimulating energy and keep rolling with it.

BIARRITZ 04

This situation talks about an urgent need for security, be it financial or health related. It seems you've recently hit a wall and feel drained, again either when it comes to your health and body, or your money-related issues, but it could very well be both. You aspire for stability and a deep sense of achievement, but the truth is that you feel only half there, so severely lacking, which could manifest with a job that makes you feel sick and/or not paid enough for the amount of effort and energy you're pouring in. You know better conditions are possible and you want to go after that.

The advice is about weighting things carefully and not rushing into things. It is only natural to want out of this situation as fast as possible, but the ground under you is shaky and will require balanced actions. It would be tempting to just want out as fast as possible but you must be careful about not being rash and going after more than you can handle. I'm drawn to the idea that it's related to what you are currently able to handle personally, as in, you need to take things easy and take care of yourself well if you want to be able to get out of this situation in a graceful and healthy manner that will reward you in the long run. Otherwise you run the risk of harming yourself further and getting back to square one. So focus on finding balance within yourself, be mindful of your limits act slowly. It may seem like things are going too slow for your liking, but it's the best way forward for the time being.

VALHALLA 05

I get a sense of energy, excitement and freedom with this pile. This feels like a new year on a personal level, where everything seems possible and you have an open field in front of you to take whatever first step you want to shape your future. There is this massive burst of inspiration that feels cheerful and motivating, as if you could conquer the world today. The future feels hopeful and you have the drive to put things in motion. You may quite literally throw a party, sharing your joy with friends and significant people, possibly to celebrate some type of milestone.

The advice talks further about this, telling you to lean further into this energy of completion and new start. Do not look back but focus on the future and immerse yourself in this rebirth of creative energy in the purest form. Side note but when I mean creative energy, I don't mean that you literally need to be an artist, but that this energy is about creating something new that brings emotional fulfillment. The main takeaway is to savor this feeling of completion while opening yourself up to what the future will bring. Embrace this burst of positive feelings and let them fuel your movements forward. This is indeed a time to be excited and hopeful.

THUNDERBALL 06

You seem to be currently sitting at a crossroad, contemplating a decision that weights heavy on your mind. It feels like whatever you decide to do will have significant impact on your future, and you're feeling a bit stuck, turning things around in your head, trying to find the best course of action.

What you don't see is that what stops you from making the right decision has to do with looking at things with the wrong mindset. You seem fearful, full of self doubts and feelings of inadequacy, which in turns distorts the situation in your mind, making it seem more dramatic and fatalistic than it actually is. You yearn to connect to your situation in a genuine, positive and efficient way that aligns with who you are and how you feel, but it's like you're overwhelmed by this shadow which stops you from doing those things. It also seems like you are not investing in yourself in the right way, or your energy in the right way, which is increasing this feeling of being misaligned. It calls for doing things differently instead of keep doing the same things over and over again.

The message is to take a step back and let go of seriousness for a minute. Try to look at things more playfully. Find your way back to a joyful lightheartedness, which you've been severely neglecting. This cannot be forced, mind you, but will arise once you let go of the reins you're holding onto way too tightly. You don't need to control everything 10 steps in advance, it can actually be more efficient to just go with the flow and focus on the little sparks of light along the way. Life is kinda silly, and so are most of your problems, let's be fair, and it's time to embrace a new mindset that will free yourself.

BLONDIE 07

Your situation is about yearning for something that you hold very dear to your heart. An opportunity for growth, for change, something you find valuable and think that it will add a lot to your life. You have your eyes set on the prize, however, your whole mindset is being dragged by this feeling that you don't have enough, that you are not enough, and that you are somewhat unable to get what you want due to feeling somewhat broken. You goal seems far and your current situation dire, and you're exhausting yourself dreaming about it while feeling that you'll never get it.

The message is that you are making yourself stuck by getting lost in those heavy feelings of lack that are not followed by any actions that could actually bring you closer to you goal. This results in a feelings of apathy and boredom and refrain you from actually seizing the opportunities that you can. There is a need to correct your course of actions by opening yourself up to the future and get yourself out of that loop. Free yourself by doing things differently and looking out for actual actions you could take, and detach yourself from the chaos of your emotions. You need to rekindle with your sense of drive and determination to get the wheels out of the mud. Remember that you have all it takes and add a bit of discipline into your life. I know I hate that word too, but when you're stuck in a loop, it's basically a routine that you need to unlearn, and learning a new one requires sustained effort and focus until it becomes natural.

MEKONG 08

For your situation, I see you either currently going through, or about to go on a process of stepping out of isolation to get into the world once more. It's not just about simply socializing more, but really getting out of a dark place that see you withdrawing from the world and getting stuck in mental distress. It seems you realized this is going to lead nowhere good and are now trying to balance your emotional state out by reaching out to loved ones, be they friends, lovers, family, or some form of community at large. This is really an empowering process where you're taking accountability for the way you feel and trying out different ways to feel better by getting out of your own space. And I really think this has to do with physically going somewhere, even for a few hours.

The message is highly energized and full of movement, as the cards encourage you to channel the energy of forward motion and novelty. Yes it may feel awkward and unusual for you to step outside your (dis)comfort zone, but it will be highly rewarding on many levels. Take a first step! It doesn't have to be something grand and hard to do. Try to find little ways to start moving forward again, get out of your own space, reach out to people and seek connections. Go in with an open mind and an open heart and keep working at it day after day. It will only get easier as you get used to the feeling, and you will fuel yourself when you realize how better you start to feel.

NIGHT FLIGHT 09

For your situation, I see you holding onto a specific way of envisioning the future. It's like, there is a certain way you want things to be, you want to future to unfold to follow some type of plan of vision of yours, and you're clinging onto it rigidly, and feeling highly disappointed when things inevitably don't turn out the way you expected. This in turn makes you feel fearful and stuck, unable to act in any meaningful way because you worry you're going to get things wrong once again and not end up with the desired result.

The message calls for being perseverant, but it also says to refresh the way you look at things. If you keep doing the same thing, you're not going to end up with a different result, but rather you'll keep going round in circle and feeling more and more disappointed. The way to go is forward, and how you can start doing that is by detaching yourself your rigid expectations of how things need to unfold in order to give room for inspiration that will strike randomly when something ignites it, which you are unable to see right now because you are so blinded. Yes you must remain active and initiate things, but you must do it from a different place. Not a place of ''everything is going wrong and I'm never doing the right thing'', but from a place of optimism and inspired actions. If you feel overwhelmed by fear, anger or insecurity; let it rest for a bit. Wait for excitement and a desire for adventure to rise into your chest to guide your steps, it will yield much better results.

[paperbackpanic]

Hiii, if you’re still open to requests, may I suggest either Tim/masky or EJ (or anyone you prefer really) with a super femme S/O who’s just really crass. Like they love all things cute and pink but they’ll take every opportunity to say the most outrageous thing they can think of

EJ and Masky with a hyper fem s/o who says outrageous stuff

A/n: hii!! Omg I loved this request specially because I'm kinda like that? I mean my mouth sometimes runs faster than my mind and I end up saying outrageous things but it is not, like, on purpose most of the time and I really like dressing super fem! I also really love writing for EJ and Masky :D. Sorry for the long rant I'm kinda lonely and need to run my "mouth" out a bit, anyway I hope you enjoy!!

A bit of a content warning for NSFW and generally gross topics but nothing too explicit.

Eyeless Jack

🎀 honestly you too contrast so much is kinda comical. EJ is the dark serious silent type and you are a cute and pink agent of chaos who honestly can talk a lot, specially considering you take every opportunity to say absurds.

🎀 Is pretty hard to surprise/get him off guard but when he first meet you he was pretty surprised, he thought you would be the shy "feminine energy" super polite girl you being really crass caught him a lil bit off guard

🎀 He isn't bothered by the things you say, he honestly find the fact that you're crass quite interesting

🎀 Yap sessions Yap sessions!! You'll let all of your wildest thoughts run out of your mouth and EJ will sit and listen. He won't judge but sometimes a thing you said will generate a long philosophical discussion about why you think that and he usually says something like "you do/say that just because you like to go against the norm or is it something deeper?" to start it off

🎀 You asked him once if his semen could be dyed with food dye BEFORE it came out of his body. It technically can? But like only because you can "tint" the urethra a bit with the dye but it involves a catheter and he's not going to put one in his dick because you want to see how much food dye would take to make his cum neon green. No matter how much you tried to convince him he won't budge ☹️☹️

🎀 You know that scene in some random old movie that I don't know the name with Marilyn Monroe that goes something like that:

"I know more than 200 ways to kill a man"

"You could glue a jar filled with rats to someone's face and then light a torch on the bottom so it would start to heat up and the rats would try to run away by chewing the person face off ☺️"

"201"

That's you two.

🎀 The only time when he will ask you to shut up and be polite is when you need it for your safety. I mean not everyone likes crassness and the most violent creepypastas would kill you without a second thought if you irritate them too much so he'll make sure you know beforehand when it's dangerous for you to be your true self

🎀 As I said in previous headcanons Jack doesn't really see stuff so he doesn't have a solid opinion on your style of clothing, he likes the texture of it though. Ruffles are great to run his hands through

🎀 Over time he just kinda stopped listening your crassness like, not in the literal sense but sometimes people around him point out and he's just "oh I didn't notice" he just filtered out that what you were saying was crass and just registered "my s/o is talking"

🎀 Overall a pretty good relationship, you two balance each other very well

Masky

🎀 He doesn't really like people who are crass or being crass himself. He's too old for that, but he will put up with you out of love.

🎀 Overtime he grew used to how you are, but that doesn't mean he wouldn't look at you like you're insane when you say something particularly out of pocket. Like creeps usually do stuff that's not really polite or demure but they don't typically say stuff out loud (or at least they shouldn't)

🎀 Your cute style is really a pro in his list on why he put up with your bullshit. It might not look like it but he has a soft spot for cute things

🎀 yapping with him might be a little difficult, he will listen to you of course he's not a bad boyfriend but he will shut you down pretty quickly if you're trying to convince him of doing some weird experiment or saying something particularly absurd.

🎀 He will use stuffed animals, cute clothes, nice dinner dates etc. to bribe you to be at least less crass when the situation call for it. You will shut up and be polite and not crass if he just asks nicely but you can't help but exploit him a little on this aspect and I can't blame you

🎀 if you ask him, he will gladly give you some lessons on good manners. He likes you however you are but this is something he thinks you can work on...

🎀 shuts you up with kisses. I will not elaborate

🎀 He has a secret ranking of most outrageous stuff you said to him/near him is only 5 itens long but he likes looking at it from time to time when he's missing you.

🎀 Assuming the Creeps exist in the same universe as us and not in a separate one: you told him about Twink Masky. He did not like it. It was funny

🎀 Despite everything he loves your personality, even if your crassness can be considered a "flaw"

[getaapologist]

The Tension and the Terror............Part XIV

Pairing: Emperor Geta x OFC (extremely loosely, character is named but otherwise not described besides hair length)

Summary: With everything so precarious, Macrinus feels the tension in the palace. A sign from the gods steers him to the conclusion of this long, protracted series of events.

Warnings: violence, death, 18+ only.

Word Count: 4.2k

Part 14 of 15 (I'm sorry)

[ Part XIII ]

Series Masterlist

A/N: Okay, here it is. I did the best I could with the hole I'd written myself into. I hope you enjoy it. The end might feel final, but we still have another part after this where we get some more much-needed closure. Thank you for following me on this ride.

Geta reclined in his chair, watching the spectacle, isolated, all sound missing his ear. The food tasted like nothing, his head swam, the wine serving as his only comfort. Even Caracalla had retired early, clutching a plate of treats for Dondus. When his boredom grew to a suffocating level, he rose from his seat, coldly dismissing their guests. 

He could feel their stares, could still hear the mutterings in the arena that afternoon. 

A moment of weakness. One he would not suffer from again. He’d promised Macrinus as much. Which was why he’d sent him to retrieve his weakness so she could be dealt with once and for all. How he would do that, he had no clue.

Macrinus had appeared almost anxious after Caracalla’s man took Plautianus down. Flighty and on edge, he carried himself with less grace than usual. He openly watched the guards standing around the Emperors, keeping himself aware of where they were and when they came and went.

Geta was beginning to realize he’d killed an innocent man.

Before the grief of his stupidity could wash over him, the man himself reappeared, glancing around at the abandoned seats, servants already moving in to clear tables and any other flat surface used as one. He kept his commentary to himself and approached Geta.

“Geta, she is gone,” Macrinus spoke, true concern in his voice. It was the most agitated he had ever seen the man. 

“Gone? What do you mean, ‘gone’?” 

Macrinus grew uncharacteristically frustrated. “She was not in her cell. Viggo could not tell me what happened.”

“You seem to surround yourself with incompetence,” Geta commented, his wine dulling his desire to maintain a friendship with this man he no longer trusted.

Macrinus’s eyes flashed for a moment before he corrected himself. “They were given a delivery of wine, your majesty,” he explained. “From the Emperors. You wouldn’t have had anything to do with that, would you?”

Geta relished the way the man seemed to be coming apart at the seams, his perfectly tailored persona cracking just a bit under the pressure. 

“No, but I believe it is customary. To repay the effort spent in readying the prisoners.” Gets finished his glass, setting it down on the table. “Are your men looking for her?”

“As we speak,” Macrinus confirmed.

Geta wasn’t even particularly mad Letha might have escaped. If she meant what she said, was as good as Caracalla seemed to believe, she wouldn’t be returning to collect. She would disappear. He might never see her again. 

That was what bothered him. 

More than bothered him. Filled him with despair. Every second was another opportunity to wallow in that grief. Wine.

“Where is Emperor Caracalla?” Macrinus asked. 

Geta waved him off. “Probably with his concubines, having a much more entertaining evening than I. Besides, what does it matter?”

“If he sent the wine–”

“A customary gift,” Geta reminded him, growing irritated.

“I do believe it was hand-delivered, by that Praetorian always at your brother’s side.”

“Ancus?” Geta laughed. “Yes, well I will instruct that he stick even closer to my brother. No more excursions.”

“That is not what I–”

“Enough, Macrinus. I am tired. You ought to get some rest yourself, it’s been a long day.”

Geta stood and walked away through the eerily quiet hall, wondering if he’d live through the night. He would ask someone to fetch Tegula. He could sit in his study with his best men, to make sure no one got through to his bedchamber.

As he entered his chambers, stripped the day from his skin, and sank into his bed, he realized just how much he missed Letha. He missed the hope she brought him. The possibility of a life steeped in warmth and love. But it had been ripped away just as quickly as it had taken root, and the agony of that still consumed his waking thoughts.

Maybe she escaped the city. He tried to imagine where she might go, with nothing to her name and no family that he knew of left to find. He could picture her so vividly, cycling through the innumerable times he looked at her long enough to memorize the expression on her face. 

She had so willingly accepted her fate, resigned herself to death. It was him that put her in that position in the first place. Her death would surely have shattered what bit of his sanity remained. He did not think of consequence when he ordered the fight to end. He could feel his blood racing through his ears, could hear each beat. It was what she was owed. A life for a life. He hoped she would use it well.

He fell asleep clutching a pillow that still bore some scent of the oil she’d brushed through her hair. Jasmine.

Macrinus paced. And paced. And paced. He could see the hallway that led to the Emperors’ rooms. What he was waiting for, he hated putting words to. To have to admit it, even if only to himself, it was just another indignance dealt by Letha. One he would rise above, once he worked up the nerve.

He was suffering her loss. For all his threatening and scheming, he realized quite quickly he wasn’t cut out for this direct involvement. He needed a new agent, but lacked the connections while stuck inside the palace. He felt the Praetorians watching his every step, could feel the heavy scrutiny from Caracalla at every mealtime. 

It shouldn’t be so difficult, he agonized. If Letha could do it, so can I. 

With renewed purpose, Macrinus strode down the hall, thinking of what he could say if caught. Before he got more than a few steps down the hall, one of the doors opened. He tucked himself behind a column, beside a bust of Caracalla. He peered around the edge of the column and watched.

Someone wearing an elaborate cloak, complete with a hood, stepped out into the hallway, followed by a guard.

Ancus.

“You ought to stay here,” the figure spoke. Her voice was low, hardly a whisper. “I know where it is.”

“You will need someone to check if anyone is there,” Ancus retorted, concerned.

“You said he is sleeping, yes?” she questioned, glancing down the hallway. She turned, about to look in Macrinus’s direction. He tucked himself flush with the wall, out of sight. He could only listen now.

“Yes,” Ancus confirmed. “Tegula is watching over him.”

“Then I will be only a moment. Do not leave Caracalla unattended with that snake about.”

Macrinus’s blood ran cold. 

Letha.

By the time he could hear footsteps retreating, she had already turned the corner, heading deeper into the Emperors’ wing of the palace.

Letha was in the palace. Kept hidden by Caracalla. And Geta didn’t know.

Macrinus felt a weightlessness settle just above his shoulders. Fresh, delicious surprise and hope sprang forth. He hardly resisted the urge to laugh at this fortuitous turn of events. The gods smiled on him in his hour of need.

As he strode away to his chambers, he was already putting together ideas.

Yesterday Morning

“I think I like this one best,” Caracalla commented. He turned to Ancus. “Ancus, what do you think?”

The guard raised his eyebrows, looking over the tunic his emperor held up. “I-I do think it brings out your eyes, Imperator.”

That drew a smile from the smaller twin, and he stared down at the garment. After a moment of thought, Caracalla approached the servant, holding the outfit out for them to take so he could be dressed in it.

“Do I have your loyalty, Ancus?” Caracalla called out. 

Ancus turned his back to his Emperor, pulling at some of his armor. “Of course, Emperor.”

“You will not speak of this to anyone, even Tegula? Or my brother?”

Ancus glanced over his shoulder, concerned, but he didn’t let his eyes focus on anything in particular. “If you will it.”

“Leave us,” Caracalla muttered. 

Ancus waited until the servant left the room to turn and set eyes upon his Emperor. The color did brighten his eyes.

“I intend to save my brother from himself,” Caracalla explained.

“How?”

Caracalla approached a small table. He opened a drawer and produced a linen-wrapped object, setting it in Ancus’s larger hands. 

“We start with this.”

As Ancus realized the genius of Caracalla, he couldn’t help his smile.

“You will help me, Ancus?”

“With anything.”

Later that day

“Letha?” The voice was soft, uncertain. 

She looked up, more than a little shocked to make out the form of Caracalla standing outside the cell in the dark, Ancus dutifully holding a torch up behind him. 

“Caracalla?”

He approached, clinging to the bars of the cell, his jewelry clinking against the rusted metal. “How is your arm?”

She didn’t spare it a glance. “What are you doing here? Where is–”

“My brother is not well.”

Her fear returned, quick as lightning. “What’s happened? Did Macrinus–”

“He’s heartbroken,” Caracalla interrupted. “You, that’s what happened,” he frowned. 

Letha moved to Caracalla, her dirty hands covering his on the bars. He didn’t draw back. “Tell him I’m sorry,” she pleaded. 

“Would you have done it?” Caracalla asked. “Really?”

She shook her head. “No. I… I couldn’t have.”

“And it wasn’t Thraex’s doing, was it?” 

She frowned. “No.” He didn’t seem to need to be told who was truly responsible.

He studied her in the torchlight, mulling things over. Finally, he pulled his hands out from under hers, taking a step back away from the door, closer to Ancus. 

“I’m an Emperor too,” he announced, “and I require your presence. Your sentence is vacated by the order of Marcus Aurelius Severus Antoninus Augustus. The door, Ancus,” Caracalla ordered, beaming. 

Ancus stepped forward, a slight smile tugging at his lips at Caracalla’s display.

Letha released the metal, stepping back away from the door, uncertainty swimming in her gut. Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes as Ancus unlocked the cell door, pulling it open, leaving it open for her to step out of, free.

“Come back with us. You can stay in my rooms until my brother is less… volatile.”

“He’s angry?” she asked, thinking back to the way he’d looked at her with blazing eyes. Should she be fearful?

“He can’t get over your betrayal, Letha,” Caracalla sighed. “He’s lost a bit of himself. It’s a bit ironic, right? Me trying to look after him?” He let the question hang in the air, but he didn’t need an answer from her, just giggling to himself. “Let’s go. Dondus will be delighted to see you.”

Letha felt touched by Caracalla’s faith in her as he grabbed her hand, tugging her along beside him as he left the cavernous depths where she’d been kept, Ancus following behind.

The next morning, Geta didn’t want to leave his bed. It was an ordeal for his servants to get him up and dressed. There were still more games to attend, more people to meet, and dinner parties to host. He didn’t understand how he was expected to return to the normalcy of their life with all of it so fresh.

His thoughts drifted to Letha. The one stolen night. The happiest he’d been in years. He could pretend she waited for him in his rooms to get him through the day. As he sat and forced food and drink down his throat at Caracalla’s nagging, as he watched men fight for glory in the arena, as if he hadn’t just seen his love almost meet her end in the exact same spot. And even now, guests dwindling, as he was forced to paste on a smile with some of the senators, the play-by-play of the day’s fight boring him nearly to tears, he thought of Letha.

“Excuse me,” Geta muttered, abandoning the glass in his hand on the nearest table before heading to his rooms for a moment of peace.

As he passed Caracalla’s door, he heard a laugh that stopped him dead in his tracks. In a split second he was back in the box, the first day of the games. His eyes lifted just the same, but a door was all that greeted him. Before he could convince himself his sanity was slipping, he knocked loudly.

A few seconds passed, long ones. Geta heard rustling, but not much else.

“Yes?” It was Ancus.

“Can I come in to speak with my brother?” Geta asked, his stomach in knots.

After a moment the door was opened, and Caracalla stepped out, the shreds of a smile still on his face and in his eyes. “Yes, brother?”

“You have guests?” Geta questioned, his voice strained from lack of use and the nerves burning his throat.

Caracalla stared at him before falling into one of his usual giggles. “Just, you know, my usual attendants.”

“I heard a woman’s laughter,” Geta accused. 

A flicker of concern was overridden by sympathy. “Hearing ghosts, brother?”

Geta scowled, waving off his brother’s concern. “Nevermind.”

“Are you alright?” Caracalla asked, a hand on his brother’s arm.

“Just perfect,” Geta ground out before turning and heading back to the party. There wouldn’t be enough wine to get him to forget this.

Macrinus watched Geta return to the party, his troubled state much more obvious. As he downed a glass of wine and requested another, Macrinus knew this was his opportunity.

“That was close,” Caracalla sighed, looking up to where Letha was currently stepping out from behind a large curtain panel, her face drawn. “He was so sure it was you.”

“How do you know?” she asked.

“It was in his eyes.”

Letha nodded, sitting on the edge of Caracalla’s unmade bed. “Is it still too soon to tell him?”

“While Macrinus still stays here you are in too much danger,” Ancus spoke up, scratching at his jaw. “He’s supposed to leave once the games are over.”

Letha thought it was amusing how Caracalla and the Praetorian he’d dismissed so readily had truly bonded. There was a glimmer in the Emperor’s eyes as he looked up at his guard. It relieved her to see him happy like this. And Letha did not miss the flush that filled the cheeks of the man anytime Caracalla paid him specific attention.

Oh, Ancus.

The Emperors truly were magnetic.

A small part of Letha wanted to ignore their advice and storm out of Caracalla’s rooms in search of his brother, but she understood their hesitance. And she truly believed her reappearance would not be met with joy. She wasn’t sure she wanted to feel that agony so soon. 

“Well, I need to go out and show my face some more, but we’ll be back in a bit. Keep Dondus company for me.”

“I will, Caracalla,” Letha promised, looking down at the small monkey pulling at her dress. “We’ll have our own party, right Dondus?” She got a squeak in return as he climbed to her shoulder.

Geta walked further into the gardens, another night coming to a close, the day weathered by some miracle. He wasn’t drunk, just comfortable, warm. He could allow himself this, now that their guests were gone. His feet led him, no destination in mind. Still, tragically, that jasmine-smothered statue came into view and he took another long sip of his wine to try to swallow down the confusing slurry of emotions.

He found himself leaned back against it once again, trying to remember, wishing he could have done something to help her. If she’d just trusted him enough to tell him, he would have protected her. He would have shielded her from Macrinus, he wouldn’t have told another soul, his selfishness overriding duty. 

He pressed his own palm to his chest, over his heart, his eyes closing to avoid the welling of emotion, the pressure behind his eyes, the knot in his throat.

“Brother?”

Geta stood up straight, shaking off his melancholy. “‘Calla?” He spotted his brother as he walked over, saw Ancus lingering by the stairs, a good distance away.

“You look sad.”

Geta scoffed. That wasn’t the half of it. “It’s fine.”

“You haven’t been yourself lately.” 

It irked Geta that he wasn’t allowed to feel the wealth of emotions in his chest without someone having something to say about it. Everyone else was allowed their moods and frustration, but if he felt something so strongly… He felt like he wasn’t being allowed to mourn. Because that’s what it was, mourning.

“Emperors, how fortuitous,” Macrinus spoke, disrupting the calm that the gardens granted. 

Caracalla made no effort to mask the shift in his expression, annoyance obvious.

Geta stepped away from the statue, gesturing to Macrinus with his cup. “Something you need?” 

“Oh, no,” Macrinus smiled, a return to form after stumbling through the last couple of days. “I just wanted to thank you both for your hospitality.”

Geta watched him, the relaxed lilt to his voice concerning.

Caracalla groaned in frustration. “Yes, yes,” he muttered. 

The impolite response didn’t deter Macrinus, not for a moment. Geta should have known then that whatever he was about to say stood to derail the entire day. But he didn’t, instead shooting his brother a scolding look.

“I have not had the opportunity to meet your other guest. She seems to avoid parties, meals, games…”

“We have no other guest, Macrinus,” Geta explained, quite confused. He looked to Caracalla, surprised to see him clammed up. “Brother?”

“Should someone go fetch her?” Macrinus suggested, eyes fixed to Geta. 

“No,” Caracalla insisted. 

Geta looked to his brother, concern growing. “What did you do?”

Caracalla’s frustration grew under the intense scrutiny. “Neither of you can be trusted with her!”

Geta felt overwhelmed. There was no way. “You lied to me?” he questioned, feeling faint. 

“You are not in your right mind,” Caracalla accused.

“So it is I who cannot be trusted?” He couldn’t help his frustration.

“For all we knew, you would kill her!”

The glass collided with the stone, shattering. Geta still spoke, though Caracalla paid him no attention, his eyes glued to the shards littering the grass. “You know nothing.”

At the commotion, Ancus approached, a protective hand pressed to Caracalla’s shoulder as he took in Geta’s affected state. 

“Ah, here she is. The search is over, your majesties. Here is your traitor.”

Geta’s heart stopped. He felt each agonizing second it took for him to turn, to see Letha being led into the gardens, Macrinus’s man keeping a tight grip on her arms. The sight drove a spike of anxiety into his chest. 

Letha didn’t struggle, she kept her eyes trained on Macrinus, wondering what was coming next. 

“What a reunion,” Macrinus chuckled, rubbing his hands together. “Didn’t you have some justice to dole out, Geta?” At that, Macrinus approached Letha. A sword was produced, and Macrinus held it to her throat. “How did you put it? A weakness, to be dealt with once and for all?”

Letha’s eyes met his, and Geta felt tears coming as he took in her fearful expression, the cut across her cheek, the bruising.

“Stop,” he ordered, approaching them, his hand held out for the sword.

Macrinus leveled the sword at Geta, the flat of the blade smacking his open palm. “I don’t think so.” 

Geta recoiled, withdrawing his hand. 

“I didn’t expect this,” he admitted, gesturing between Geta and Letha. “I should have, and I have paid for that mistake, but I will not make it again.”

Geta bit back his protest as Macrinus reached over, his hand squeezing Letha’s bandaged shoulder tightly enough to bruise. The cry she let out wounded him.

“I should thank you, Caracalla,” Macrinus smiled. “Up until last night, I was so sure I’d wake up in a cell myself. But the gods have other plans for me. They sent me this solution as a sign of their unwavering support. It could not be anything else.”

“The gods do not care for you,” Letha spat. She struggled beneath Macrinus’s grip, trying to wriggle her shoulder free. 

Viggo renewed his grip on her wrists, scowling at her, as Macrinus brought the sword back to her neck, a warning. She stilled.

“Ancus,” Caracalla muttered, his voice betraying his fear. 

Geta felt trapped. They were all in danger, all caught off guard.

“I will tell you of my plan,” Macrinus grinned. “It’s too good not to share it. While not perfect, I do believe it is the best anyone could do in these circumstances.” He let the blade leave Letha’s neck, pacing leisurely before them. “It would seem that Letha here, having escaped, decided she would come back and finish the job,” Macrinus gestured to her with the sword tip. “Finding the two of you here in the gardens, after felling him, of course,” he gestured to Ancus, “she made quick work of you. And I, hearing the commotion as I just so happened to be passing by, came upon this grizzly scene. Fortunately for you both, I was able to avenge you. And with your last, gasping breath, you named me your successor,” he spoke, moving the sword over to press against Geta’s neck. “Go on, say it.”

Geta said nothing.

Macrinus’s grin grew, the sword pressing closer to where his neck met his shoulder, the razor sharp bite of it beginning to draw blood. Letha let out a cry, struggling with Viggo. 

As Macrinus turned to ridicule Viggo, a jovial jab that he seemed to be having trouble restraining a woman, a hand gripped Macrinus’s wrist, pushing the sword away from Geta’s neck. 

Macrinus whipped his head around, eyes falling to Ancus, indignation settling in on his face for only a moment before a dagger pushed through the ornate white robes he wore, sinking into his stomach, pushing the breath from his lungs. Geta’s eyes fell to the hands wrapped around the hilt, seeing his brother’s ornamental jewelry.

Geta was pushed back as Ancus stepped in to shield Caracalla, ripping the sword from Macrinus’s hands.

Still partially frozen, Geta looked over to where Letha was, or had been. His feet moved him before his brain could formulate a plan.

Letha was on the ground, struggling against Viggo, the base of her palm pushing at his chin, her other hand trying to pull his hands away from her throat. He seemed to have the strength of ten men, knowing death awaited.

Her throat burned, the pressure in her head from the buildup of blood, her circulation cut off, overwhelming. Spots filled her vision, and she wondered if this would be it, finally. She should’ve been happy, she got all her wishes. Macrinus dead, or in the process of dying, and she got to see Geta one last time. It was all she had asked for. But the desire to remain, to live, breathed life back into her muscles.

Letha abandoned her efforts to claw his hands away, instead opting to make a firm fist and punch as hard as she could into his groin. Viggo let out a choked gasp, one of his hands moving down to shield himself from further attacks, a reflex. The vice around her throat lessened and she could get some air. As Letha was able to suck in a halfway decent breath, Viggo was ripped off of her.

The unnerving sound of a fist meeting Viggo’s face filled the normally tranquil gardens. Letha sat up, surprised to see Geta leaned over her attacker, one of his knees pressing hard into Viggo’s stomach, a hand gripping his clothes while the other repeatedly punched his now-bloody face, rings and all. 

Letha tamped down the satisfaction she felt, calling it relief, and moved over to Geta. She pulled at his shoulders, trying to get him to stop, telling him it was enough. He didn’t listen at first, but she pressed herself to his back, pulled his arm to her, her hand wrapping around his wrist. 

“It’s done,” she soothed, inspecting his hand, seeing the bite of his rings in his own skin. It would need the attention of a healer and it would surely be swollen purple in the morning.

“Letha,” he whispered, his eyes closed as he turned his head, pressing his forehead to hers. 

“I’m sorry,” she breathed, her throat still quite tender. 

“Mmmh, no,” he managed, shaking his head. 

“Emperors?” 

Praetorians were upon them, forcing everyone apart, taking stock of the damage done to their rulers, if any. Letha stayed sitting on the ground beside Viggo, not sure what might happen next. 

Before long, Tegula himself appeared, speaking with the twins, and then Ancus, who delivered a succinct version of events that included a charitable explanation that Macrinus had masterminded the entire thing, even down to Letha’s inclusion, implying that she was innocent after all. 

She didn’t dare correct him, her eyes fixed on Geta where he stood. His knuckles were stripped of his rings, the healer dabbing at the small cuts. Geta winced each time, eyes falling to his injured hand for a moment before he continued watching Ancus recap their evening, as if surprised by it.

Caracalla stood beside Ancus, quite close, certainly closer than an Emperor would be to his guard, rubbing his fingers together, staring down at the blood on them with soft fascination in his eyes, his other hand still clutching the dagger. Plain, military issued, it looked like. 

Letha was brought to her feet as someone inspected her neck, commenting on the redness around her throat. Geta looked over, the people and the circumstances creating a great gulf between them that he couldn’t yet ford. There would be business to attend to before she would get her chance to speak to him again. 

It gave her something to look forward to. 

[ Part XV ] coming soon

[hoovesandfloorpaws]

i’d like to add re: his live shows & festivals after his album releases:

2020 + 2021 as “live show years” were of course extremely negatively influenced by the pandemic, with his tour & potential festival appearances postponed.

and live show booking for 2022 and 2023 was a right nightmare, because every single artist on the planet needed to catch up on the shows & festival appearances they missed. competition with tour booking is always harsh, but for 2022 and 2023 it was insane. i’m talking venue options in the double digits. really bad deals accepted just to get that fucking date booked. tour routes that cost more money than it made. bad festival time slots or just none available even with ‘household’ names that usually have guarantees. venues financially battered after the pandemic, with some even having had to close down forever, which made it harder to book into that city. same with festivals who never came back after their cancellation due to the pandemic. tour- and festival booking agencies, as well as live venues massively letting go their staff during the pandemic, which were then scrambling to get employees back to even book tours for their artists or festivals (many people from the music industry who had been let go during the pandemic switched career fields just to survive, got settled there and didn’t return), same with live touring crew (for example light/sound engineers, riggers, tour managers, tour bus drivers, etc.) who were suddenly a lot more sparse and very hard to put together — the pandemic was honestly an entire Reset for the live touring industry.

Louis has really good odds with Live Nation (irrc he’s still with them, always was during 1D times too), but LN has hundreds of artists and they are in competition with each other, as well.

Also, the UK is small, especially compared to North or South America, and we have learned by now that you barely make money with a live tour nowadays, but the ‘bigger’ money still lies in a full-continent-tour, which surely strengthens Louis’ bond with his fanbase and takes him to cities where he can potentially do promo with radio, TV, mags, etc.

I’m not sure how much he did that when he was on tour in 2023 and 2024? I wasn’t here and haven’t caught up to that, yet. — But like mentioned above, Louis would have to get that opportunity arranged for him and even more importantly, Louis would have to want to do all that. And I honestly don’t know if he does. It might very well be the case that he doesn’t want to do that level of press anymore after being excessively put through that ringer 2010 - 2015. And I imagine he knows what it costs him if he doesn’t.

all that is to say (sorry, i can never keep myself short lmao) that i find all this interesting in the aforementioned context that Louis and his team might have very realistically struggled due to the pandemic all the way into and through 2023.

the live tour industry is only now slowly back to normalcy since last year, so i’m very interested to see what live shows Louis will get this year, what continents it’ll focus on and what his tour routing’s gonna look like.

Hi Gina, hope you're doing well!!

I've sent you similar asks a couple of times before over the years, but everytime I see it I just can't help but express my frustration. As someone who works in marketing and hears the words "do something that'll go viral" almost everyday from different brands, I get so disappointed in Louis's PR.

Everytime he comes back in the news a little again I get my hopes up thinking that it might actually lead to something but then it just suddenly stops. I feel like his team doesn't actually have a marketing plan and they just wake up one day wanting to make Louis's name trend and then forget about it or get bored after a week.

Even now - going to Zayn's show (not saying it was completely for PR, but definitely planned), then the walls promo, collaborating with youtube and spotify instagram pages, and now going to the superbowl which will be filled with celebrities (you cannot make me believe ever that he's actually there for the American football) - it's all to get him in the news. But why? My guess it for absolutely nothing!!

As always he'll be active for a bit and disappear again, having done all this for nothing, because I don't see an album or even a single coming anytime soon, so this bit of PR will also be forgotten like everything else!!

It took me a couple years, but I've given up all hope in his team at this point!! I really really hope he meets some better people at some point who can position him better, because he definitely deserves and has the potential for it!!

Sorry for the rant. Have a great day!!!!

Hi sweetheart. I was actually just talking about this with @apparentlybychance yesterday. Ah was saying she was checking his social mentions (or whatever the hell it’s called) and he had a huge spike when he went to Zayn’s show, and then nothing. And he’s barely been mentioned in connection to the Super Bowl.

I have no idea what his team is doing. The meet up with fans seemed only for fandom. The Super Bowl attendance isn’t making a blip outside of fandom. It’s just weird.

[namgyusbeastbaby]

Don't take things that aren't yours

hello!! this is my first fic, please be mindful :)

based off of a request from @luvfordaeho that wanted lee!nam-gyu and ler!thanos, thank you for requesting it, by the way! <3

!! sorry if its mischaracterised, im not as good as interpreting characters like before !!

~~~

{[summary]} : nam gyu is bored, very bored, and needs entertainment. so, he pulls a prank on thanos to see if he notices any pills going missing, and he does. he thinks he knows who the culprit is, but needs to test something!

~~~

After the Six-Legged-Pentathlon, Nam-Gyu was bored out of his fucking mind. He'd usually have Thanos to talk to, but Thanos was with stupid Min-Su and that Se-Mi bitch (his words, not mine!).

He went to Thanos' bunk to see if he could rile him up or piss him off somehow, and then he came across the older man's necklace. It was a surprise, really, Thanos never left his cross unattended, but it seemed this was a rare and once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

Smirking to himself, Nam-Gyu picked the cross up delicately, as if it was the most fragile, ancient artifact known to man, and analysed it with a hungry gaze. Gosh, he had found the perfect thing.

Without thinking, he popped it open and took a few out. Surely Thanos wouldn't notice, right? I mean, he was oblivious to most things.

If this was a gameshow the biggest, fattest incorrect buzzer would be played, ever. EVERR

Because, well, Nam-Gyu was sneaky, and quite naive, as he took 2 pills. One for now, one for later. He ate one, stuffed one in his pocket and then went to go join the others.

"Hey, guys." Nam-Gyu sat next to Thanos casually, the both exchanging glances.

"What's up, my boy? Finally got out of your bunk?" The purple-haired rapper said in a teasing tone, a slight hint of skepticism in it that Nam-Gyu couldn't quite catch because he was under the pills influence.

"Yeah.. Figured I'd join you guys, got nothing to do." The younger said, boredom laced into his tone as he manspread a bit, listening to the others talk as he just fidgeted with his sweater paws, something he didn't usually do unless high. Thanos noticed this, and glanced at him.

"You good, bro?" He asked, gesturing to his hands. When Thanos was skeptical, he'd always find an answer.

"Mhm.." Nam-Gyu weakly nodded, not paying attention to Thanos. Although, he did look at him when he stood up. "Where are you going, Than?" He asked, using a little nickname on him.

"To get my cross."

Shit.

"But, why? It's not like anyone wants it, they don't know what's inside." Nam-Gyu attempted to seem nonchalant, shrugging. Although, inside, he knew he was fucked. It was inevitable.

"I need to recount my pills, you know? Just to make sure no one's taken them, yeah?"

Nam-Gyu went pale.

"Just wait here, yeah?" Thanos patted Nam-Gyu's thigh with a gentle squeeze. He smirked as Nam-Gyu covered his mouth, and walked off. It seemed Nam-Gyu was holding back a squeal, but, he wasn't that ticklish on his thighs?

The culprit had revealed himself quite easily, and Thanos couldn't have been happier. He then recounted his pills; 17 left, he had 19 before. That little shit took two!

Whatever, he couldn't be mad at Nam-Gyu. For one, he knew the younger was bored, second of all, he had done the same with some of his friends before. And, thirdly, he'd have his revenge soon.

He then waltzed other to Nam-Gyu calmly, and told him to follow him. Nam-Gyu nervously followed him. Thanos knew Nam-Gyu wasn't a fan of being publicly tickled, so, he took him to his (Thanos') bunk, a more private area.

"So, bro, care to explain where two of my pills went?"

He asked, sitting Nam-Gyu on the bed with a smirk. He wasn't made really. He was impressed, impressed that Nam-Gyu had the guts, and that he managed to pull it off.

"I don't know, maybe you swallowed them without thinking?" He tried to make up excuses, but he knew it was futile. Denial isn't always bad, is it?

"Then, you don't mind me testing your sensitivity, yeah, boy? I know your nerves, top to bottom! Being high causes sensitivity, hm?"

Nam-Gyu felt his heart in his throat. But, otherwise, he bravely accepted the challenge. He wasn't a pussy, and, plus, he could keep his reactions in, right?

"Fine."

"Great then, I'll be gentle!"

Ooh, how Nam-Gyu was so sensitive to gentle tickles. He tensed up when he felt Thanos gently tracing his ribs through the fabric of his jumper and shirt. Gosh, despite how thick they were, nothing would protect him from the older man's tickles. He almost burst out laughing right then and there, so he had to cover his mouth.

"Nuh-uh, Nam-Su. No covering your mouth, need to hear if your sensitivity is boosted or not, hm?"

He gently held Nam-Gyu's hand down, continuing to trace his ribs. Thanos knew how to break him, because he kept on nearing that one rib. It was driving him crazy.

"C-C'mon, Thaha- Thanos, I didn't take them-"

"Are you sure?" He asked with a grin, finding the younger man adorable, stopping the tickling on his ribs to pick his hands up in his and take his hands from his sleeves. He then started to gently trace his palms, and Nam-Gyu burst into soft, high-pitched giggles. He couldn't help it, his palms were already so sensitive!

"Stahaha- Stohop! Thahanos, you cahahan't-" He protested, trying to move away, but was also melting into the tickles. Smiling brightly, he leaned against Thanos, giggling his little heart out as Thanos raised an eyebrow. He had never seen Nam-Gyu so affectionate when high, it was a bit uncharacteristic.

"What's this about not taking my pills, then, boy? Did you lie to me?"

Thanos pried gently, mocking the lee softly as he didn't tease too much. It seemed Nam-Gyu was in an affectionate mood, and he wouldn't ruin that moment. And, plus, he knew what it was like to feel this way. He had been bored in his 20's and around ages 17-19. He knew what it was like to want to provoke somebody, and he knew it well.

"Nohoho, duhude! IhI- I dihihidn't!" Nam-Gyu was about to say something else, but, his protest was cut off and overtaken by a squeal. He was glad Thanos was sober, or he'd be fucked. Absolutely fucked.

Well, he still was.

Just not as much! Because, well, Thanos knew his limits here, and-

"THAHANOHOHOHOS!"

Nam-Gyu was cut out of his train of thoughts as he felt tracing on his bare skin, on his stomach. Thanos knew that was a bad spot, and planned to exploit it.

"SHIHIT- DUHUHUDE! OKAHAHAHAY- MAHAHAHAYBE I TOOK OHOHONE!"

"Maybe? One? I don't know, Nam-"

"OKAHAHAY- TWOHOHO! I TOHOHOOK TWOHOHO! DEHEHEFINITELYHEHE!-"

"Hm. Thank you, for admitting it."

Thanos smirked a bit, before letting Nam-Gyu go, ruffling his hair. He noticed how the younger seemed to want need a bit more affection, so Thanos wrapped an arm around him, and pulled him closer.

"You're lucky I'm sober, or I would've kept on going, Gyu."

He rubbed his back gently, making sure Nam-Gyu was okay. He passed him some leftover water he had.

"Just don't take my pills without permission again, alright, bro? Or, I'll take a pill before I see you squirm."

He watched as Nam-Gyu flushed a bit, a rare sight.

"Yeah, yeah, w-whatever."

Despite acting quite upset, he wasn't. He leaned into Thanos' touch, the touch reminding him of a friend or two he used to have.

He felt safe.

So, maybe this place wasn't so bad after all?

@secretly-tword-obsessed

[chamoemileclown]

I finally watched Wato's 100 days because of you and oh wow. it got to me good. Now looking at your piece with a newfound understanding.... wow

it makes me incredibly happy when people tell me my art encouraged them to watch something because that’s how i’ve gotten into most of the things i love!! im using this as an opportunity to talk about my own art and the things i really enjoyed about the video so spoilers ahead for this piece under the cut!

you can watch the video here if you haven’t already!

I’ve noticed in a lot of 100 days videos there’s usually a “drag” point in the middle where the cc gets tired or frustrated with their challenge. They might reach a point where they get stuck or grow lonely and the task ahead grows to arduous only for them to pivot and overcome their problems. Wato’s video asks, “well what if you can’t overcome?” and delves into the psychological horror of being trapped doing the same tasks over and over again not even knowing if you’re goals are attainable.

It might be hard for some people to watch because it does drag on, and that’s the point it was not a fun experience for Wato, but it’s so beautifully cinematic. The video does a lot of overlaying, certain scenes fading into others as if time is blurring together for Wato.

some of my favorite shots included these overlays, they’re so beautiful! I think a lot of 100 days videos fail to convey how long 100 days really feels like, often summing things up quickly and cutting down footage but with this video it makes sure to stay and focus on this stuff since that’s where the horror comes from.

I tried to include this with the endermen dotted around my piece!

in a lot of these shots the most noatble thing is the bright endermen eyes overlayed ontop of everything because not matter what Wato does he can’t really keep them away. As long as she’s there the endermen as going to spawn. That’s why I drew him trying to climb out of the frame, he’s trying to escape it but no matter how many times he jumps off one of his hotels to death reset he comes back and he’s still made little progress.

Wato usually wears a matching pink boutonniere and tie but I shifted the color more orange to complement the color pallet a pay homage to Kenadian and his loss early on in the challenge.

Wifies on exists in Wato’s line of sight, his lower half disappearing underneath their outstretched arm because Wifies only exists for his own comfort.

Wato is able to escape, he does so by making it to the nether but he leaves behind Ken and his hallucination of Wifies in the process. like hallucination Wifies said, “well- you can get out of here-“ Wato did succeed at the very end of his challenge, and even after he made it to the nether he flung himself into the lava, going back to death reseting even knowing he had a chance to beat the goal he set out with now.

[ejeffers1239]

This is your monthly reminder that trans girl periods are probably definitely real.

"ow ow ow ow ow"

- Erika

Serious discussion of/essay on trans woman periods under the cut:

While transgender women experiencing period symptoms is not something that has been scientifically researched with any rigor as far as I'm aware, enough trans women report the phenomena that it can reasonably be assumed real. The interesting thing is there are competing theories as to the mechanism behind trans women periods, which are as follows:

1. An empathetic or otherwise psychosomatic response, as in a trans woman has periods because she knows other women do. I don't like this, but we'll get back to that

2. Confirmation bias of unrelated symptoms, usually gastrointestinal, calling anything that happens in the general area a period.

3. Hormonal cycle from taking estrogen makes the body attempt a period, even without a uterus, accounting for cramping, mood changes, and changes to breast texture.

I don't think 1 or 2 are especially good explanations on their own, and taken in a vacuum sort of reinforce a conclusion and stereotype that transgender women are faking it (1) or eat nothing but junk food (2). However, these two definitely aren't unprecedented as factors, as long as you accept that there is a hormonal component (3).

Considering two of the most common phenomena reported with periods generally, we can get a broader picture. First is the phenomena of women syncing their cycles; this itself sports conflicting research and is mostly anecdotally observed, just like trans women periods. Nonetheless it could provide a point towards the empathetic response theory that would be more than making it up, rather, whatever about an estrogen-dominant body that (allegedly) causes sync is also applicable to transgender women. Second, consider the phenomena of period cravings. This phenomena is much more established than sync, it's commonly accepted that women on their periods tend to crave foods high in carbs, sugar, and salt. In other words, junk food. In that light the "trans women have had diets and call it a period" claim is not entirely dismissible, but is actually flipped in the ordering. It's entirely likely that trans women having their period regardless end up eating junk food, and cast doubt on to the validity of their own periods as a result.

As for my own personal anecdotes, I experience a cycle that is at least somewhat consistent. I don't notice symptoms every month, but many months, and they usually follow the same "structure" so to speak:

First, for about half a day, I get really horny. I believe this would technically be pre-period or a hormonal analogue to ovulation, nonetheless, I take the opportunity to have some fun, as pretty much nothing compares to how good it feels during this time.

Next, I have the junk food cravings, granted, I'm someone who eats taco bell weekly so, this doesn't represent an especially large change of diet for me, it's there though and if I'm cooking I might end up making something like mashed potatoes.

Finally, for around three days after that, I get really bloated and have some "typical" period symptoms: pain in my abdomen, the bloating itself, sore breasts, and even period shits. This is where I am while writing this post and we'll, to reiterate, "ow ow ow ow ow."

To me, this is far to specific of a sequence of events to be fake, even if it's not strictly monthly, and trans women have factors like missing estrogen doses or the presence/lack of progesterone that could influence that timing away from perfectly routine. Ultimately I'm another anecdote in a sea of anecdotes but, I choose to believe trans girl periods are real and biologically based, and I hope I've made a compelling argument supporting that here. This blog is made possible by boredom and mania mutuals like you, thank you!

[overnightheartbeats]

One afternoon in his room quickly became spending most weekends and other afternoons with Eli. She had offered her room a few times, but they always landed on just going back to his. Laurel assumed it was the hesitancy of her roommate being there, not comfortable enough. She didn't push the subject, given the warning he had given her some time ago. Jenny's questions about where she spent all her time lately rung in her head, and while it wasn't the best thing to do, she had lied to her roommate when she left their room Friday after class. Her backpack was packed with some items and change of clothes, and so, a bogus story of visiting her dad was born. Laurel didn't want to say it out loud, but she was beginning to feel like she needed some space from her roommate.

Saturday had already flown by, and after a very fun afternoon in bed, they finally agreed on a shower before grabbing dinner and getting some work done. It was the most amusing shower - full of laughter that echoed on his walls and the kisses shared under the warm water. "Okay okay, go. I just need to actually get the soap out of my hair." What could she say? Kisses were distracting. "Just a few minutes, and we can get dinner, " Laurel assured, stealing one more kiss, before he stepped out.

Subtly was usually more her style, but some opportunities were just too good to pass up. Her roommate being away was perfect. It was the kind of opportunity that demanded she go to him, rather than waiting to run into him or something. Like they'd ever frequent the same places. Well, maybe more now, that she seemed to be seeing him everywhere. Every time she turned around, there he was. Laurel right next to him too, giggling like she'd never heard a funny joke in her life. The sheer thought irritated her beyond belief. Once she reached his door, she began knocking incessantly, completely unfazed at the thought of him being annoyed by her actions. He had annoyed her long enough after all.

[bee-with-a-camera]

Ok so contrary to popular belief most bees don’t have hives, they are solitary, but there's different levels of solitary that are comparable to different levels of housing. The first level is just “solitary’’, this level means that they emerge from usually burrows, go out, mate, and make a burrow of their own (female) or just die (male). The female will gather all the required material and lay the eggs and then seal it shut. This is equivalent of (from a females pov) building a whole-ass house from scratch, filling it with food and baby stuff, with no help at all. The second kind is as aggregation. Aggregations are formed when several fully solitary bees nest in one area, its unknown why they do this, but it’s speculated that it has to do with protection (neighborhood watch basically) and a good nesting opportunity. This one is like a neighborhood where everyone makes their own house but still lives close together. The next level/type is called semisocial. Semisocial bees basically have an apartment where everyone contributes. Unlike honeybees and other eusocial bees they still fit the description of “solitary” as the mothers never meet their kids, the colonies only last for one generation. These colonies have jobs that are usually based on the size of the bee, larger bees stay behind, lay eggs, and take care of the babies, while smaller bees go out and forage. Theres also a version called “quasisocial’, meaning semi social, but I don’t know enough about it to accurately describe it. I can however say that its most commonly noticed in orchid bees living in central and south America. The last type is the most well-known type, eusocial, meaning true social, notably characterized by the mothers actually meeting their children without dying off first. The two most common species (not the right word but it gets the point across) known in this group are honeybees and bumblebees, however kinds of sweat bees are included in this. The thing with honeybees is that they are considered highly eusocial compared to the others which are considered primitively eusocial. This is because of many factors, such as the fact that they have MUCH larger colonies (several hundred vs 50-100 vs less than a dozen) and the fact that honeybee queens are so different from the workers, with honeybees and sweatbees only having a size difference to distinguish them and being fully independent before the making of the hive. And going back to honeybees, most bees do not leave their stinger in the body. From what I remember honeybees have to do that in order to cause more pain because their hives make larger targets compared to others. To do this they have barbed stingers, most have smooth, which gets caught in rubbery skin and pull out the venom gland and some intestines which is why they die shortly after. Another fact about the stingers is that they are modified ovipositors which is why males can't sting, please use your imagination and context clues to figure out how the male bees in the bee movie sting. It's not fun. I'll probably update this with more bee facts later. Anyway, here's my bee rant @justyouraveragebird

((also tagging @bees-official and @that-weird-bee, please feel free to correct me if I got anything wrong))