#i used to have a desktop computer but i lost that in the horrors

[crowjodojocasahouse]

the way i wanna share my ineffable playlists with you guys sooo bad but all of my yt music is under my old email with my deadname in it

[jellycreamjammedart]

Lost and Found (Super)Stars

PT. 2 (index/parts) (Tag: desktop/mobile)

FNAF Security Breach Ruin, post-"betrayal" elevator ending hurt/comfort, Found Family, something I like to call "Hopeful Horror"

Summary: Having had her kindness stomped on then spat back at her, betrayed by who she thought was her friend, and now stuck at the ruined remains of Freddy Fazbear's Mega PizzaPlex, Cassie tries to find the slightest bit of meaning and worth in all of this.

The lights gradually returned to the server, as the security system rebooted.

That doesn't look like a lot in the real world, but in the AR world through Cassie's mask...

"Enabling the anomaly is not recommended." Helpi piped in, able to talk to the girl thanks to the V.A.N.N.I system. "It can be dangerous to your nervous system! Shut it back down, for your own safety."

Cassie ignored the little bear, seeing the blacklight-like rabbit emerging from the server once more. Though it looks to be very weakened, its face looked at the floor, its bunny ears dropped over its face. It looked like it barely was holding itself together.

"Shut it back down, you're endangering yourself!" Helpi insisted, his round yellow eyes widen and apprehensive; he certainly had not counted on the girl turning the very system that's been harassing her through the entire night back on.

The anomaly who turned out to be just a security program, M.X.E.S, slowly stood up, seemingly disoriented from being shut down and now being up again. However upon spotting the masked Cassie in front of it, its expression changed to that of anger as it lunged forwards her, its hand outstretched at her-- this scares the child who falls back.

She hears both Roxy and Helpi at the same, in the Real and AR worlds, respectively; Roxy mostly seemed alarmed by Cassie's terrified reaction, likely unable to see M.X.E.S. herself.

"Cassie!? Cassie, what's wrong??"

"Shut it back down!!" Helpi nearly shouted, a highly urgent tone to his computer-generated voice.

Cassie, rather than letting fear paralyze her, gestured away to the formerly barricaded doorway, urging M.X.E.S. to act. "T-the door! The door!!"

The bunny-like security program's gaze followed Cassie's pointing gesture, its square pupils shrinking in shock upon seeing the doorway open, knowing how foreboding that was. It quickly acted, executing the security protocols to shut the metal door once again, the metallic thud echoing into the room for a moment.

Well, it's a metal industrial door. But it's lacking the layer of concrete it used to have... Well, the fresh boulders and rubble should at least help a little. Hopefully. It's not like they can do much better currently.

Even just that seemed to take a lot on M.X.E.S as it currently is. The security program collapses on what would be its knees (if it had them,) and hands. It looked kind of 'fragmented' compared to before, its form with more deconstructed mass around it resembling glitchy little squares in the air.

Cassie stumbles back up to her feet (with Roxy's help,) her gaze even behind the mask meeting with M.X.E.S' who looked up at her with a sharp, intense glare. It was clearly not happy.

Cassie however, could only frown behind the mask. She felt short of tearing up, and the rabbit's glare only deepened the feeling of shame. "... I know. I know it's my fault. I'm sorry..." She confesses, feeling like there was an imaginary lump in her throat; or was it a sob she was trying to suppress? "I'm so sorry... I didn't know, I swear I didn't know! I... all I wanted was..." She found herself forced to remove the mask for a moment to not only wipe the trickling blood from her forehead again but also the tears that now were threatening to fall, so to not get liquids into the mask. She shudders, feeling Roxy's hand rest on her shoulder in comfort.

Cassie lets out a shuddering breath before putting the mask back on, seeing M.X.E.S again; it was in the same way, but its gaze was a little more inquisitive. Her throat felt too tight for her own voice. "I- I just... All I wanted was to save my f-friend. I just wanted my friend to be safe. I had no idea it was that... that thing." She thinks back on her last conscious moments in the elevator; those could surely have been her last living moments, good thing her dad had taught her what to do during a falling elevator emergency once (lie down on one's back, protect head and face with arms.) The very person who she risked her own life wanting to save could have killed her right there... maybe that's what he had intended, even. "... turns out I never had any friend to begin with." She sputters out like it was corrosive acid in her mouth.

"B-but Cassie..." Roxy's ears drop, her hand tightening on the girl's shoulder just slightly. Cassie's hand went up to rest over Roxy's without looking away from M.X.E.S. "I'm not talking about you, Roxy." She takes a deep breath. "In fact you're the only friend I have. M-maybe the only friend I ever truly had." At this rate, she'll have to take her mask off again to avoid getting the wiring wet with her tears already.

Roxy's ears rose back but just a little; she was honored Cassie saw her as such a true friend, but it also deeply pained her to hear that she was all Cassie had. There's no way that could be true! This child deserved so much better than this... And she didn't know how to make this better. At least not at this moment. It made her feel like... like a loser.

"N-now I'm trapped here forever and I'll never see home again-" Cassie barely can hold back a sob this time, her vision getting blurred with stardust. "I'm never going to see my d-dad again."

Okay that's it!

"Cassie! Enough of that!" Roxy, held on to both of the child's shoulders to turn her to face her, then lifted the mask to the top of her head so that she could look into the kid's eyes while getting down on one knee. "That's quitter's talk! And I know very well that you're no quitter! You're number 1, twice, after all! We're going to win this race, even if it's the last thing I do!"

Cassie, for a moment, could only stare up at the ruined wolf in stunned silence, tears staining her cheeks. "B-but Roxy... the... the elevator..."

"Duh, I know." Roxy's head shifted off to the side a little, her ears twitching a bit as if she was thinking. "We're going to have to take the long way back."

"The long way back!?" Cassie blinked, widening her eyes. "Through the entire PizzaPlex, again???" That sounded more like a dumb way to die now.

Roxy rolled her shoulders a bit, facing Cassie again. "It's the only way now, and I'm not about to let you rot here. Besides, you've already gone through the entire PizzaPlex once and here you are! I think you are much stronger than you seem to believe, Cassie."

Cassie doesn't say anything immediately, wiping her eyes with her sleeve once more, before lowering her mask, the V.A.N.N.I system letting her see Roxy as she truly is. As Cassie has always seen her, thanks to the green and grey holographic reconstruction of her former appearance. "You... you really think I can make it?"

Roxy scoffs in good nature. "With you and me as the epic team we are? We will be unstoppable!!" She gave Cassie a confident, fanged grin, noticeable thanks to the holographic reconstruction of her face.

Cassie took another deep, slow breath, likely to recompose herself. "Okay." She manages to give the wolf a small smile, feeling a little bit better.

Oh yeah! Now that's the smile of a winner!

"Great!" Roxy gets up on her feet, seemingly not interested in lingering much longer. "Let's start this race, then!"

"Wait-!" Cassie calls back, though. "I got... I got to fix things here first! Undo the mistake I made." She turns to face M.X.E.S again through the mask, who certainly had been there this whole time. It looks back at her in an even more quizzical manner.

"I turned the system back on, but without the security nodes I deactivated... It's in a very weak state." She then addresses M.X.E.S directly. "I want to fix it. But I don't know how. Please, please tell me there's a way to correct my mistakes. I... I want to make things better."

"You can make things better by shutting the security off. Turning it back on isn't the answer! Listen to me, I can help!!" Helpi interjected once again, but Cassie ignored it; it had become apparent now that thing back there somehow had hold of the little bear's AI.

M.X.E.S reached out to Cassie again, but rather than as a threatening gesture, it was to bring attention to something poking out of her pocket. It was as if it was directing her towards an answer to the question she had shot it.

"... my Faz-Wrench?" The girl takes the device into her hand, contemplating it. "... of course. I get it." She's had to use the Faz-Wrench to deactivate the child nodes and parent nodes. It made sense she'd need to use it to reactivate them again as well. Basically she'd need to go and do things in reverse.

"But-" Cassie's brows furrow lightly behind the mask. "It's quite a ways back to the last node from here." Except Roxy, but she's not sure if she should subject the wolf to that again. "Anything can happen in the time we'll take to get there. Isn't there a faster measure until we can get there?"

"You can designate new security nodes!" Helpi chimed in, now with surprisingly helpful information. And it seems to add up; she's seen the most ridiculous things being used as child nodes, including a freaking pizza! "That's not going to help. You need the security off in order for us to help get you back home!" There it is again...

Cassie's brows furrow again in thought. What did they have in hand that could be converted into a node?

"... my mask."

Cassie takes the V.A.N.N.I mask off and held it out to where she knew M.X.E.S was standing, since she can't see it without the mask on. "You can have my mask as a security node so you have some grounding, until I reactivate the parent nodes I shut off."

"What!? No! That's a horrible idea!" Helpi's reluctance once again was ignored. "You'll be letting an anomalous entity into the V.A.N.N.I system! Into your nervous system! Don't do it!"

While M.X.E.S is a digital being, she can faintly feel what she assumes is it touching her mask as she held it-- it feels like a single thread of loose hair touching your skin. Cassie looks into the mask until she finds what looks like a little input, and holding the Faz-Wrench in her other hand, she inserted the device into the input like a key, like she's done so many times tonight.

"NO! Stop!!" Helpi pleads.

Thanks to the implant, Cassie can see the control panel pop up in her vision, with the same directives: Linking matching holograms without crossing wires. Despite Helpi's negation, she proceeded and configured the holograms successfully, prompting the message: NEW SECURITY NODE IDENTIFIED. CONFIGURATION SUCCESSFUL! followed by the Mega PizzaPlex's logo before the control panel disappeared.

"No!! WHAT HAVE Y-YOU DO-DO-DO--" Helpi's voice was heard before it glitched off, followed by a mild pressure in Cassie's temple. But she doesn't get to contemplate it before a dizzy spell overtakes her and she nearly falls off, hadn't it been for Roxy catching her.

"Cassie? Cassie, are you okay??"

To Be Continued...

[i-did-not-mean-to]

Prologue: Eönwë x Gothmog

Let's start...Besides vampires, cabbage, dogs, and bread, crime stories are amongst my favourite things in life!

Special thanks to @cilil (once again) for encouraging me! (and for totally letting me steal her idea!) :D

Pairing: Eönwë x Gothmog

Prompt: Cultural Differences

Words: 1800

Warnings: It's a crime story, there's a dead person...insecurity, flirting, fear of death, threats...the usual :D

Manwë slammed the idiotic laptop the department demanded he use shut vehemently—he had a perfectly good, functional desktop computer, and he could not understand for the life of him why he had to bother with those tiny, cheap, finicky keys.

The news he’d just gotten made him pinch the bridge of his nose in silent exasperation; this one would be bad.

Part of him wanted to go home, imbibe beyond what was reasonable, and crawl into bed beside his resentful wife, but he was too dutiful and cautious to let this get out of hand before it had even started.

Thus, he leaned out of his office to check which one of his underlings was still around so he could pawn off the legwork on some other poor overworked soul.

Eönwë. Manwë sighed. Theoretically, Eönwë had everything it took to be a good detective—athletic, diligent, and graced with a strong moral fibre, he could have known an exceptional career.

Unfortunately, though, he was painfully naïve.

It often seemed almost comical to Manwë how Eönwë could be lucky enough to somehow always be in the right spot at the right time, only to then completely miss the point and bungle an otherwise airtight case.

“Eönwë,” he called, convinced that he’d regret his decision very soon. “A word, please!”

“Yes?” Eager as a puppy and just as energetic, the golden-haired man all but bounded into the elegantly furnished room. “What can I do?”

At once, Manwë rued his ungenerous thoughts.

“I’ve just been informed that there has been a homicide,” he explained cautiously. “This could potentially become a high-profile case—be warned—but I need someone to look into this, first thing in the morning.”

“And you want me to go?” Eönwë’s voice vacillated between hope and disbelief. “I’d love to!”

“Hold your horses,” Manwë cut in sharply. “Someone lies dead even as we speak.”

He took another deep, steadying breath. “It’s Fëanor.”

“The tech-magnate?” His big, blue eyes widening even further in horror and alarm, Eönwë leaned forward as if suspecting that he had suffered an auditory hallucination.

“Yes,” Manwë grunted. “The very same. It was Melkor—that much is clear to me. All I need you to do is…prove it. Do you think you can do that?”

Any other detective of his rank would have objected to being demoted to doing the hard, tiring, and unsatisfying grunt work, especially as his boss had already settled on a culprit, but Eönwë beamed with humbling gratitude. “Will do, boss! I won’t let you down!”

Manwë half-lifted one hand to detain the other, but then, he dropped it again listlessly.

“I’ll go sniff around their usual haunts tonight. Afterwork beer…and I’ll report on what I’ve found tomorrow morning!” Eönwë chirped, tearing his coat from a crooked hanger, and rushing towards the double doors.

Torn between the knowledge that he put too much pressure on the poor fool and his desperate desire to see Melkor brought to justice, Manwë gnawed on his lower lip in torturous indecision until the last chance to dissuade Eönwë was lost.

No matter, he told himself. It was better that he was alone for this—he still had work to do on this night, and what he had planned was not exactly legal.

Melkor frowned at his phone.

“What is it, my love?” Mairon asked, his voice as smooth and soothing as velvet. His eyes, though, were sharp as blades and twice as gleaming.

“That is for you to tell me,” Melkor, founder of Angband Inc.—a company which had been inexorably doomed before Mairon had intervened—muttered distractedly. “Manwë just texted me that he’ll get me this time.”

“Manwë?” Crossing the room with quick, precise steps, Mairon snatched the device out of Melkor’s huge paw and stared at the bright screen with murderous intensity.

Of course, there was neither number nor signature—Manwë would never commit so obvious and deleterious a mistake—but he agreed with his lover; this message could only have come from one person.

“I am going to find out what happened,” he promised Melkor. “And how bad it is for us.”

“Not tonight,” Melkor objected. He rarely pulled rank, as they both knew that those titles were but smoke and mirrors, but Mairon could clearly discern that the other would brook no opposition on this subject. “I need you with me tonight. Just in case we have to establish an alibi for whatever crime we’re being framed for.”

“Give me just a second, precious,” Mairon pleaded, pressing a comforting kiss onto Melkor’s high, smooth brow. “I’ll order take-out, and then we’ll go home.”

As soon as he was out of earshot, Mairon did call the restaurant—he called Gothmog, friend and henchman, first, though.

“Go out, please. Just…have a few drinks and listen to the latest gossip, would you?”

“Sure thing,” Gothmog rumbled at the other end of the line. “I’ll be in tomorrow morning with whatever intel I can gather. Good night to you two!”

Schooling his face into an optimistically calm expression, Mairon slipped back into Melkor’s office. “It’s taken care of…let’s go!”

Eönwë was not in the habit of frequenting seedy bars after nightfall, but he didn’t want to leave anything to chance on this one.

After his last regrettable failure to apprehend a proven perpetrator, he had been condemned to desk duty, and he’d half-expected never to make it out on a big case again.

Once more, Manwë had placed his trust in him, though, and he would not disappoint his mentor and role model this time.

Unable to dispel the proud, smug expression on his angelic face, he entered the run-down establishment Melkor and his posse were known to frequent.

“Baby, have you lost your way?” Thuri, a long-limbed beauty purred, leaning against the counter of the dirty bar with a wicked smile.

Anyone who had talked to her for more than 2 minutes knew that she was not in the least interested in men, but that generally didn’t stop her from flirting outrageously with every breathing organism in her immediate vicinity.

Eönwë cleared his throat and tugged on his lucky pendant nervously. He didn’t want to be rude, but the woman with the half-shaved head and the innumerable, flashing piercings made him slightly uneasy.

“No,” he squeaked and nodded at the unlabelled bottles, lined up on a wonky shelf behind her. “Make it a double!”

“Right away, darling,” she drawled and twisted to grab a grimy container in which an amber liquid sloshed around ominously.

“Have you heard the news?” Eönwë asked brazenly, trying to emulate the bored, weary demeanour of his senior colleagues, and hoping that his bright-eyed eagerness was not all too noticeable.

“What news?” A deep, grumbling voice resounded from a dark corner of the counter.

Whirling around in alarm, Eönwë felt his determinedly set jaw slacken alarmingly. If the overabundance of black eyeliner and the torn tank top on the barkeeper had made his stomach lurch, the man staring at him unblinkingly positively turned his insides to goo.

Impossibly tall and broad, the mountain of muscle and flashing teeth reminded the young detective of a large predator, lazily eyeing his clueless prey.

“The bloke with the autonomous energy source was offed,” Eönwë replied, dragging his thumb over his throat dramatically even though he didn’t yet know what exactly had happened to wretched Fëanor.

This seemed to interest the mesmerising stranger for he slid off his barstool noiselessly and padded over. “Is that so? Do they know what happened? Oh, they’ll probably send out some newbie before declaring that there wasn’t enough evidence.”

“How would I know?” Eönwë squawked, miffed by the unwitting insult.

“Baby,” Thuri chuckled, setting down a water-stained glass on a worn coaster and giving the other patron a warning glance, “the cheap suit, the giddy smile, and the evident discomfort have given you away as soon as you’ve walked in. You’re here to pump us for clues—so, I’ve got to ask…police or press?”

Instantly, Eönwë—who had hitherto believed himself to be an acceptable actor—deflated.

“Police,” he admitted dejectedly.

“We don’t know anything,” Thuri declared firmly. “This is the first time I’ve heard about this. Whoever killed that ass did the world a favour in my opinion.”

“Hmmm, he was involved in a few conflicts,” Eönwë conceded, trying hard not to scrunch up his face as he tried to find another angle to get to the reason for his nightly excursion. “Didn’t he take someone to court over a theft claim?”

“Mel,” Thuri nodded, then froze. “You don’t think…”

The atmosphere noticeably shifted, and her whole deportment grew hostile.

Before Eönwë could back out of a room full of angry faces, a huge hand was clasped around his upper arm like a vice.

“With me,” the enigmatic giant hissed and dragged Eönwë out the back door.

The last thing the poor detective saw was his untouched glass being swept off the counter—Thuri even wiped the condensation ring off the oily bar. It was as if he had never been there, and he did not doubt for a second that—if asked about it—every single soul in that accursed hole would swear that they’d never seen him once his mangled corpse was found.

“Don’t make that face.” His would-be assaulter laughed. “I am not going to hurt you—I want to help you. I’m Gothmog, and I work with and for Melkor.”

Flinching, Eönwë felt panic rise in his throat.

“Relax. I’m almost sure that my boss didn’t do this…and I’ll help you prove it.”

“You and the vixen in there?” Eönwë asked, the sarcasm he was aiming for thoroughly foiled by the distinct note of perplexed longing in his voice.

“Thuri? She’s into women, don’t get any funny ideas,” Gothmog said good-humouredly. “No, just you and me. You stick out like a sore thumb, and—for all your good intentions—you seem to be less observant than recommendable.”

Of course, Eönwë knew that he should not agree to so ludicrous and borderline amoral an offer, but neither the idea of dying beside a smelly trashcan nor the thought of letting Manwë down again sounded like a better option.

“I’ll have a briefing with my boss tomorrow,” he finally sighed. “Let’s meet here around noon—we’ll see how to proceed from there, deal?”

Nodding gravely, Gothmog let go of his arm at long last. “Deal! Don’t run—I’ll find you.”

“I didn’t intend to,” Eönwë replied in an embarrassingly petulant tone.

“We’ll get to the bottom of this,” Gothmog promised. “I’ll see what I can find out on our end. Our very smart, but also quite scary lawyer has dug up a good deal of dirt on Fëanor; I am sure there’s something useful in there!”

So, that was the prologue of this <3

Lots of love from me!

-> Masterlist

[blackjackkent]

Writing Interview Tag Game

I was tagged by @ra-scheln - thank you! :D

When did you start writing?

A looooooong time ago. Haha. As a kid there was a several year period where I thought I wanted to be an author as a career, and always liked writing even after I moved on to other plans. The stuff I wrote as a kid is mostly lost to time, although I do still have the Google doc of a “novel” I wrote for my senior English project in high school. I haven't had the courage to look at it for a long time because it is uh. Not Good. :P (No judgment on my past self - we become better through trying and learning. But it would probably be unrecognizable compared to my writing now.) 

Are there different themes or genres that you enjoy reading than what you write?

Sort of? I like reading scifi and fantasy and the majority of my writing has also been in those genres. But I also like reading things like regency romance, historical fiction, very specific types of horror, etc. that I have no real interest in trying to replicate. 

Can you tell me about your writing space?

Sometimes I write on my phone flopped on the couch - that's how I'm writing my answers to these questions in fact! I'm a pretty fast phone typist but it's still a slower process, though, so when I really want to buckle down I usually go to my desktop computer which is in the office. Right now it's a big wooden corner desk but I'd like to replace it with a couple of smaller ones that are more easy to maneuver and put cool rgb lights on for the Gamer Aesthetic. XD

What’s your most effective way to muster up a muse?

Lately as I've been trying to write more consistently, I've been having a lot of luck with this web app called 4thewords.com. It's a bit of gamification but the main thing I like about it is you pick an amount of time and a word goal and it sets a timer for you and it has proved REALLY effective for forcing me to just get words down on paper. The first draft is the hardest for me by far and it's been often really useful for getting over that hump. So lately I'll set myself up for 500-1000 words or so per day of “battles” and that gets me the forward momentum that I'm trying to maintain. 

That said, I'm also trying to be better about not forcing myself to write when it's just not coming at all. I don't want to burn myself out. 

Are there any recurring themes in your writing?

I am sure the answer is yes but it's hard for me to distinctly identify them. (I'd be interested in hearing reader answers to this question.)

Off the top of my head, though - missing scenes, mutual pining, struggles with emotional control. I think one major thing is that, as someone who missed my prime dating years due to the Big Sad, a lot of my characters do have an underlying thread of finding love/fulfillment/connection despite obstacles, later in life, or when they feel they don't deserve it or don't know how to do it. 

What is your reason for writing?

The same reason I was almost an actor, the same reason I like making people laugh on my stream. Hell, even the same reason I like programming and making software that improves someone's day. 

I like making people feel things. I like seeing their reaction to something I've done and hearing that it evoked something in them. This is the most fundamental human connection in my opinion. 

Is there any kind of specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

Honestly, any time someone takes time out of their day to leave any type of comment at all, it's guaranteed to make my whole week. But in keeping with my previous answer - my favorite comments are ones where I get to hear about how I affected the reader's emotions, or where they mention particular parts that really struck them. Those always make me really happy. c:

How do you want to be thought about by your readers? 

Interesting question. I think… as someone who is good with character voices and keeps tight hold of the fundamental core of the characters even when putting them in different situations. Someone who can manage both angst and humor well. Once again, I'd like people to look forward to what I write because they know it's gonna make them feel something that they enjoy. 

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Character voices and dialogue. I've been told I've been very good at catching the cadence of different characters, and some of my favorite things to write have been just bouncing those voices off each other and seeing what happens. I think this is really the pillar on which all the rest of my work is able to stand bc the characters feeling like themselves makes the rest have more impact. 

How do you feel about your own writing?

This really depends on when you catch me, haha. Some days I'm really proud of it, and some days I have a hard time seeing anything good in it. Currently in a bit of a trough of overthinking it, but I’m lucky to have a couple readers who are v supportive which helps. <3 Overall though I think I do a good job and have some interesting stories out there and in my to-do list. (I also tend to way over-compare myself to other people in the fandom; there are so many incredible writers around here that it's hard to put myself next to them.)

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?

A mix of both, I suppose? Certainly in picking what I want to write about I am thinking primarily about what I would find fun to write and not about what has a “market” in the fandom per se. But I also am lucky enough to have found other people who do enjoy the same characters as I do and enjoy my take on them, and in that sense I am definitely often more excited about a particular idea because I know one or more of my friends would be excited to read it. :D So both things are definitely a factor. 

-----

Tagging: @writer86 @rhysintherain @bardic-inspo @thedarkstrategist (and anyone else who wants to do this honestly)

[elfwreck]

no eye for what's wrong, no thicker skin for constructive criticism and feedback, no basic artistic training in perspective and functionality in what they're making

The AI is not the core problem here.

It is certainly A problem here. It is part of the problems, and part that won't exist if they just ban AI prompters from their art team.

But the core issue is: Creating art for someone else's requirements, rather than just making "cool pictures," requires actual art skills. Requires an understanding of composition and perspective. Requires an acceptance that the client is sometimes going to say "change this detail that you think is not important but I want it different." Requires an awareness of how the picture is going to fit into a larger project, if it's not just "print it, frame it, and hang it on the wall."

(Even if it's "throw it on a t-shirt or coffee mug," there are details that will change or get lost in the production process. An artist needs to know what works on the chosen media.)

AI image generators can make many amazing pictures. It's easy to get "wow, awesome" pictures from them. And that part's a glorious boon for those of us who can't make art and want a picture of our TTRPG character, or a forest scene for our computer desktop, or a random spaceship for our TTRPG so we can say "it looks like this."

But that's near-worthless for commercial art projects. Pictures of Random Cool Stuff do not make a viable sellable item.

Y'know what AI generators are terrible at? Modified animals. They can do horror pretty well - they have a baseline for that - but wow they are not able to add extra legs to a mammal without crossing it with a spider. They also can't do changes of position. They don't know what a swimming elephant looks like. And they're terrible at musical instruments. They also can't do right/left differences - like, a woman standing in half in shadow, with flowers blooming on one side of her, and barren winter trees on the other side.

They're terrible at anything specific.

There may be good, ethical uses for AI art. If you want to brainstorm dozens of logo ideas, AI may be a way to start.

If you already know what you want on your logo... you can roll the dice and hope the AI bot gets it right the first time, because it's not going to be able to do "make this part a little bigger" or "curve the top section to the left" or "make it fit in an octagon."

AI-gen images could be a base for specific art - but for that to work, you'd need AI-prompters who understand how art works.

And the people jumping on the AI gen bandwagon are not artists; they're people who are thriled at being able to make awesome pictures appear by throwing some keywords in a box.

(I get it. I am also thrilled by this. I just haven't tried to make a job out of it. Because I know the difference between "an awesome picture" and "the picture someone asked me to produce.")

This machine kills AI

[translations-by-aiimee]

Dig a Grave to Dig Out a Ghost - Chapter 2

Original Title: 挖坟挖出鬼

Genres: Drama, Horror, Mystery, Supernatural, Yaoi

This translation is based on multiple MTLs and my own limited knowledge of Chinese characters. If I have made any egregious mistakes, please let me know.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2 - Ghost Encounter

Before that incident occurred, Lin Yan didn't believe that there were ghosts in the world. He studied history during his undergrad and continued straight into doing his master's in archaeology. When he was on an expedition with his professor, he picked up the bones of a dead body and plucked a jade cicada from the mouth of a mummified body. Ghost stories were always something joked about in their dormitories. If something happened to people after they died, then the world would know about it. For example, if someone picked up the imperial blue bowl of the emperor, the old man would notice and stand up, shouting: "That's mine!" How interesting.

The dead should just let the dust from the past settle and stay quiet.

Lin Yan had just finished dinner when things changed. He didn't live in the school dormitories. He had moved into the apartment his parents had set aside for him when he got married because of the fights his old roommates in the dorms had with their in-laws on the phone. This apartment was much closer to the school, and he had been living alone since then. He cooks alone, plays games alone, and travels halfway across the city to visit his parents on the weekends. Lin Yan is one of the tens of thousands of small researchers in dozens of colleges and universities in this city. If he makes great accomplishments, his future will be bright, but if he's average, then he will be lost in the crowd.

That day, he made himself Fried Sauce Noodles. Once the minced meat was boiled, it was mixed into the sweet stir-fry noodle sauce. The noodles were drained out of the pan, topped with the sauce, and it was delicious. Lin Yan took the bowl and sat in front of the computer, watching "My Old Memories of Old Beijing" and eating the noodles.

The air was humid and stuffy in the early summer weather. Suddenly, halfway through the movie, a clap of thunder rang out outside. It didn't take long for large raindrops to pour down, and the thin lines of water on the window glass became a curtain of rain, pattering against the windows.

Lin Yan was busy turning off the video. Before his computer had fully shut off, a bolt of lightning flashed across the night sky. With a snap, the computer went black.

Afraid that something might happen, Lin Yan complained and unplugged the computer from the socket. He used a desktop computer specially equipped for 3D restoration renderings of cultural relics. As soon as the power came back after the thunderstorm had passed, he would have to submit a repair request.

Tomorrow, he'd have to trouble Yin Zhou to repair the machine again.

Suddenly, a strange feeling washed over him.

Cold, inexplicably cold, sending a shiver up his spine.

He didn't know when the temperature of the room started to drop. He didn't even notice it while he was watching the movie. Now it feels like he was inside an ice cave. The cold is coming out from all corners and enveloping his body. The sweat on his body turning cold, his t-shirt sticking to his back.

Lin Yan vigorously wiped his sweaty hands on his jeans, thinking about how the weather must be cooling down because of the rain, and decided to get up to find a long-sleeved shirt. Before he could get up, his eyes glanced at the computer screen and nervously sat back down.

With the lights on in the room, the situation in the room was clearly reflected on the dark computer screen. In front of the screen was Lin Yan's face, and behind him was the window, which opened wide inward, and the curtains were swept around by the wind. It was the "person" standing in front of the curtain that made Lin Yan frozen from head to toe.

That's not it; it was more like the shape of a person - a person wearing a strange hat.

Lin Yan stared blankly at the things on the screen, a sense of panic slowly creeping up his spine.

It must have been a clothes hanger that he forgot to move, there's no need to jump to conclusions. Lin Yan pulled at the corner of his clothes, took a deep breath, and swung his head around.

Nothing was there. Everything in the house looked normal. The only difference was that the raindrops were coming even larger, the rainwater twisting into small streams on the glass and flowing down.

His suspenseful heart began to calm down.

No! Lin Yan went numb all of a sudden. Not only was there no one there, but the windows were clearly locked, and the curtains were tightly tied on both sides. How could they be blown by the wind? What he saw in the reflection on the screen just now. . . what was going on?

An illusion! It must be an illusion! Lin Yan clenched his jaw. He couldn't help but pinch himself to keep himself sane.

There was a small electric crackle. The power went out, and the whole room fell into silent darkness.

Almost at the same time, the indicator light of the computer monitor suddenly flickered. The two small red lights looked like blinking eyes, accompanied by the squeaking sound of the whirring motors. The screen that was in a completely power-off state glowed green as if the screen saver had been switched. It's like a procedure.

No. . . Wasn't there a power outage? Lin Yan was completely speechless. His whole body was pushed back into the chair by the sudden and weird atmosphere. Then the screen flashed and, as if someone was typing, large characters appeared one after the other on the screen, piercingly red.

"The first day of the month of Wushen; the death date is approaching."

Another clap of thunder boomed outside the window.

Lin Yan swallowed hard and stared at the line of words on the screen. He tried his best to calm himself down, but his mind went blank.

It must be. . . It must be Yin Zhou pranking him.

He was a professional programmer and technical expert. Messing with the program to mess up the power grid. It must be boring to try and scare yourself or something.

"The first day of the month of Wushen; the death date is approaching."

The line of red letters flashed on the screen twice and disappeared. The computer then powered back off. Only Lin Yan's heavy breathing remained in the dark room. He took out his cell phone from his pant pocket and tried to call Yin Zhou. Before he pressed the call button, there was a heavy and repetitive tapping on the windowpane.

"Taptaptap. . . taptaptap"

He couldn't see anything in the heavy curtain of rain.

Lin Yan suddenly jumped up and leaned against the computer desk, staring out the window. This. . . this was the twelfth floor, what could be knocking on the window?

"Taptaptap. . . taptaptap"

The knocking increased as if someone were waiting impatiently.

Materialists couldn't stand immediate losses. Besides, creatures always have the instinct to avoid danger. The atmosphere was so strange. Lin Yan grabbed the car keys from his pocket and rushed out of the house without looking back.

The rain fell harder and faster, and the normally bustling three-ring road was empty. There was only the heavy rain curtains and thick fog. Lin Yan turned on his headlights lights all the way. He hoped to find an exit that was bustling with life and filled with a large crowd. In one night, his normal life was completely messed up. There was no signal from his cell phone and no signal from the radio. He seemed to be isolated in a corner of the world and was just driving around endlessly.

Lin Yan glanced at the fuel gauge. He was running out of fuel as he went further down the road, but he had not found the exit of the overpass. He was a native to this country and yet he was trapped in the city that he had been living in for 22 years. Just saying it was absurd enough to make anyone laugh.

The low-beam light couldn't illuminate the road very far. Under the warm yellow light, only the dense lines of rain could be seen falling diagonally, washing down his windshield. There was a wide road in front of him, turn after turn. There were no people, no cars, and even the sound of the GPS reporting how many kilometres were left was inaudible and his speed on the speedometer was barely visible. Lin Yan looked straight ahead, for fear of missing any fork in the road.

After travelling on the highway for nearly three hours, Lin Yan finally began to panic after passing the IKEA billboard multiple times over.

A deep thought came to mind.

The ghost was making him go around in circles.

The arrow on his fuel gauge was almost at 'empty'. Lin Yan slowed down. He thought he couldn't keep driving forward. Obviously, there was a force trying to stop him. What he should do is to sort out his thoughts and find a solution instead of continuing to drive around aimlessly. He didn't dare think about what would happen if he ran out of fuel.

Lin Yan pulled the car over, leaving only his hazard lights on, then sat in the car and began to think about what happened at night.

Power outages, computers that suddenly freaked out, strange reflections.

The first thing that came to mind was that someone was playing a prank, but he immediately denied it. If it was just the problem with his computer, he might still suspect the unreliable programmer Yin Zhou, but the knocking on the window, preventing him from getting off the highway, and blocking his mobile and radio signals; none of that was this guy's style. Lin Yan searched his mind for a long time to find a candidate that might want to scare a friend like this, but he came up with nothing.

He himself was a very good person. He was a good student from elementary straight through his master's. Apart from skipping classes to play Warcraft, and handing notes to his classmates during an exam, he basically had no blips on his record. He has never even played any tricks on girls, let alone his immediate friend group. Even if someone wanted to play a prank on someone as revenge, that wasn't how Lin Yan handled things.

Lin Yan was a person who, even when he ate toothpaste and cookies on April Fool's Day, still believed that he was just eating something mint-flavoured. To understand what was going on, Lin Yan could only find the solution by going through his process of elimination. By the time he can go through his hilariously incompetent system of thinking, he has probably already vomited up three litres of blood.

Lin Yan rubbed his temples and thought hard. Someone was threatening him in an inexplicable way, or was outright declaring war.

Lin Yan turned on the cell phone's calendar and entered the date of the first day of the Wushan month. The small square immediately jumped to the corresponding date: July 15 and the gates of hell would be wide open.

Something is wrong, Lin Yan thought.

When he looked up again, there was suddenly something that hadn't been there before that appeared in front of his car.

A figure stood near the side of the road as the heavy rain poured down. The figure didn't seem to notice Lin Yan was there, neither holding an umbrella nor wearing a raincoat, quietly standing with his head held down under the dim street lamp. The fog everywhere made Lin Yan unable to see his appearance. He could only make out that it was tall and he was wearing weird, oversized clothes. The caring Lin Yan wanted to offer the figure a ride. Even though he can't really protect himself right now, but he can at least provide some shelter from the rain.

An empty highway, rainy night, a strange individual on the side of the road, this unfortunate picture seemed suspicious at first, but Lin Yan saw something a little more depressing.

The figure seemed. . . very lonely, like waiting for a resolution that will never come.

Lin Yan re-started the car after making sure all the doors were locked, and slowly slid forward along the roadside, thinking that after being trapped in this endless loop for so long anyway, it was more useful to see if this person might be able to help him break the cycle.

When he was less than ten metres away from the person, Lin Yan suddenly froze as though a gong went off beside his ear. He finally realized why he felt there was something wrong with this figure. This person had no shadow.

The streetlamp was casting light on this person, but there was no shadow at his feet. The place where the shadow should have been was just the shape of the streetlamp reflected in the puddle, which was shaken by the continuously falling rain, rippling and disturbing the surface of the water.

Lin Yan knew what he had encountered almost instantly.

He was covered in a cold sweat, he couldn't keep a grip on the steering wheel because of his clammy palms. There was a bitter taste in his mouth. He slammed his foot on the accelerator, not caring how much fuel he had left. He didn't even care if there was any road ahead, he just knew subconsciously that he had to get away.

40km, 60km, 80km, 90km. . .

Suddenly a car sped out in front of him. Lin Yan was stunned, and instinctively stepped on the brakes and jerked the steering wheel to the left!

"Squeel--" After the extremely sharp and piercing sound, the front bumper Lin Yan's Audi A4 was just a few centimetres away from the Buick's back bumper as he brushed past it. Immediately after, Lin Yan drove into the bushes and the car shook before getting stuck. After it stopped shaking, the windshield was covered with holly leaves.

The car had almost been totalled.

Lin Yan lay on the steering wheel, panting heavily, his whole body was frozen.

"Knockknockknock." Something harshly knocked against the car window

Lin Yan jumped nervously and stared at the glass in horror. When he could see the face of a man, he let out a long sigh, and then rolled down the car window.

"Who the hell taught you how to drive? If you were so desperate to die, just tell me and I'll beat you to death!"

A series of harsh curses about his ancestors gave Lin Yan a sense of joy, bringing him back to reality. He almost rushed out and hugged the Buick driver.

"No. . . I'm sorry, I've been on this highway for three hours. I just found my way. I was a little excited, sorry, sorry."

Lin Yan wasn't paying attention to what the other driver said, and couldn't help smiling bitterly since the driver must really consider him an idiot.

The Buick driver stared at Lin Yan for a while, then suddenly stopped the curse, and muttered, "You look like you've seen a ghost." He took out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and handed one to Lin Yan: "Did you come across something weird? Smoke a cigarette to calm your nerves. You should bring out a protection charm next time. We all have strange experiences at night every now and again."

Lin Yan got out of the car, and the driver lit the cigarette for Lin Yan. The two stood side by side on the roadside. Strangely, cars began whizzing by on the road. There were rows of shops and tall buildings lit up on both sides of the street where there was originally only fog and dark shadows. Even the rain from earlier had stopped.

Lin Yan took a puff of cigarettes and calmed down, and said in surprise: "Have we met before?"

The driver smiled indifferently: "It often happens, especially in places with a lot of accidents. The more deadly the accident, the more evil will be left behind."

Lin Yan nodded. He didn't know how much his materialistic worldview changed from this information.

After sending the driver away, Lin Yan whipped the sweat off his forehead and took out his phone to check the time. The screen showed two text messages and three missed calls, one every half an hour on average within the past two hours. Lin Yan opened his settings; the phone wasn't muted, the volume wasn't very loud but it was enough from him to hear it. It confirmed that the signal had been blocked this whole time.

Message 1: "Will you come out for a drink? The regular place."

Message 2: "What are you doing? Answer the phone!"

Both the sender and the caller were Yin Zhou.

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[wherevermyway]

the FiVE:RACHA project (1/7) // black mirror AU // 18+

chapter one: freedom series navigation: [desktop] [mobile]

⚠ POTENTIAL TW: READ WITH CAUTION! ⚠ pairings: lee minho x kim seungmin | hwang hyunjin x lee felix x yang jeongin | bang chan x seo changbin x han jisung rating: explicit! 18+ warnings/tags: creator chose not to use archive warnings, descent into madness, horror, thriller, technological implants, blood and gore, alcohol abuse, some sexual content in later chapters but it’s not, like, smut. word count: 3,101 also on AO3

PS: i made a carrd for this. check it out if you’re interested!

originally posted: 26 december 2020

Several years ago, five men created a website for South Korea's international rap sensation, 3RACHA. The website, The FiVE:RACHA Project, was almost as popular as the group themselves. About two years after the website went live, FiVE:RACHA had the opportunity to meet 3RACHA.

Immediately after they meet, the members of FiVE:RACHA and 3RACHA go missing. The FiVE:RACHA Project website is down. Their Twitter account has been deactivated, and 3RACHA stops posting. A few months after their meetup, it was announced that 3RACHA had disbanded. Nobody knows what happened to either group.

Nobody knows, until now.

For some, modern day fame comes at a price that is too high to pay.

disclaimer: this is a work of fiction! any reference to persons in this work of fiction are purely coincidental. the characters referenced from Stray Kids are  interpretations loosely based on their personalities in the group and do  not represent the real people behind the personas. if this, or any of  the content included in the warnings above make you uncomfortable,  please stop reading now.

// note: with other darker stuff i post, i’m not totally sure i’ll post the entirety of this fic on tumblr. if not, i’ll do a little notice post for people interested to keep following it on AO3.

...Do you wish to proceed? To learn the truth of FiVE:RACHA and 3RACHA?

What is the true price of fame?

A Foreword:

Several years ago, there was a fan site, The FiVE:RACHA Project, dedicated to South Korea’s most famous rap group, 3RACHA. One day, it went down without notice. The site, as well as their Twitter account with over four million followers, was almost as well-known as the rap group itself.

3RACHA mysteriously disbanded several months after FiVE:RACHA went down. Nobody has seen or heard from the members of either group since the disbandment. There are several theories and myths surrounding the disappearances of both groups, but most of them are incorrect.

Be aware that, no, FiVE:RACHA did not go down because the site moderators were bored of 3RACHA. No, 3RACHA did not disband because Supreme Entertainment was about to collapse due to widespread fraud and their political scandals within the Korean government.

The stories of FiVE:RACHA and 3RACHA are very much deeply intertwined within each other, and the truth is uncomfortable to witness.

This novel’s authors, comprised of some of the most loyal fans of both groups, will remain anonymous and stay in hiding due to fear of being caught by the one responsible for the disappearances. An individual outside of our group found a Shinyu of someone involved in this, someone discarded in the Han River many years ago. How the implant survived with no living host for so long is beyond remarkable.

In case the Shinyu is defunct or replaced by the time you’re reading this, allow us to explain. The name comes from “close friend” in Japanese, likely as a play on words for how close the implant gets to its host, both physically and socially. The Shinyu was created in Tokyo in 2025; it is a small technological implant embedded under the skin of the right side of everyone’s temples.

Everyone has one placed at thirteen, and it encodes all of our visual, tactile, and auditory data, syncing it to our phones and uploading it to personal servers in the cloud. The data is encrypted, and requires access from both the Shinyu and the phone to decipher. It allows us to integrate technology into our daily lives, records our memories and important moments, but there is a price we all pay for this. Critics have been outspoken about this since its inception, but the governments never listened.

Alas, we digress. The Shinyu is vital to uncovering so much information that has been hidden and speculated on after all this time. Regardless of our personal opinions regarding the ethics of the device, we are grateful that we were able to obtain one of the implants. It has been vital to connect a lot of the missing pieces of the greater picture.

The authors have spent years decoding the information from this implant. Thanks to an anonymous source, we were able to obtain the personal computer of someone in FiVE:RACHA, personal cell phones of both groups, access to the database of Supreme Entertainment and its defunct myIdol data, some declassified legal information, and archives of both FiVE:RACHA and 3RACHA’s Twitter accounts.

Why have we chosen to extrapolate all of this data in the form of a novel? Perhaps we would like it to serve as a modern day parable for the plights of technology being so intricately interwoven between us all now. We, as humans, are now one with technology. Technology is literally embedded into us. It is astounding that technology allows us to interact so closely with famed idols now, beyond some barriers that critics have denounced for being inappropriate or unhealthy.

Some of us may pay the ultimate price for this.

Some of us, unfortunately, already have.

However interconnected we are with technology and how close we can get to those of which we idolize in society, though, humans will still crave entertainment. That is why this was written almost as a work of fiction. Those that pay attention to the story will be rewarded. Maybe not immediately, and maybe only after self-reflection, but readers will be rewarded. That much can be promised.

Above all else, we cannot stress enough that modern day fame and convenience comes at a price that is too high for some to pay. Stay safe, err on the side of caution. Disconnect from your Shinyu if you choose to proceed any further, because you never know who is watching.

— Curators of The FiVE:RACHA Project

One: Freedom

Nobody really knows who exactly manages FiVE:RACHA, just that it’s a group of five fans that run a fansite for the popular rap group 3RACHA. Their website is the most well-known and widely used out of the millions of fans that are out there. It always has live updates for the members: Bang Chan, Seo Changbin, and Han Jisung. There are daily paparazzi photos of at least one of them slapped up on the front page, embedded social media posts from each of the members updated as soon as they post, and hard-to-find facts about each of them.

Hell, one of the FiVE:RACHA members went through and coded up a section of the site dedicated to decoding natal charts for each of the members. Again, like most things about FiVE:RACHA, the source of this information was a mystery. Nobody’s sure exactly how they obtained 3RACHA’s birth times and locations. Some had speculated that it happened the same day the government had announced that there was a security breach of some of their databases, because the timing was oddly convenient.

To most casual fans, it sometimes felt really fucking weird to have so much information on idols readily available at their fingertips. However, to 3RACHA’s most dedicated, most obsessed fans, it was perfect. Exactly what they wanted. Their work seemed well-appreciated by the broader community, since the amount of Twitter followers FiVE:RACHA had was comparable to 3RACHA’s following, nearly half of their total count: 4,100,000 to 8,500,000.

There was nothing else that could compare to the controlled insanity that The FiVE:RACHA Project had to offer.

The FiVE:RACHA website was an international sensation, known to most 3RACHA fans, even those that opposed it. There was even a small, but growing, fanbase for the members of FiVE:RACHA, something that was slightly worrisome to them, but they had remained anonymous for so long, they weren’t really overtly concerned over it.

“This article is bullshit, man. ‘Controlled insanity’? None of this is controlled, it’s just insanity.”

Idle hums and trills of various electronics thrum in a dark room. Two young men stare at several computer monitors in a daze, lost in their own worlds as a ticker tape-like feed of coding and statistics flew past them on screen.“Let ‘em talk, dude,” the younger-looking man with blue hair scoots away from his computer and sighs. “Fuckin’ gossip rags. Anyway, I can’t stare at this CSS anymore. I can’t figure out why the embedded feeds are busted. Can you take over on this, Seung?”

The slightly older man with short, shaggy black hair rolls his neck, snapping some joints, not bothering to look away from his screens. “Yeah, yeah,” he stops poring over the article written about them on one screen, tabbing away to another. He cracks the knuckles in his fingers, and waves his hand in the air as he taps a couple of keys on his keyboard. “Go take a break, Jeongin. Hyunjin was looking for you, anyways. Probably got something good from a source of his, since he’s in one of his giddy moods.”

As Seungmin settles into his work, Jeongin chuckles as he stands up and stretches. He takes a couple steps over to the other computer desk and pats the older man on the back. “Thanks, dude,” he says with a smile and walks out of the server room, out into the hallway that leads into the open living room of their flat. The ambient humming of the room stops as he shuts the door, now replaced by the sound of his feet shuffling, the muffled noises echoing against the hardwood floor.

Five men all lived and worked in this large apartment together: Yang Jeongin, Kim Seungmin, Hwang Hyunjin, Lee Felix, and Lee Minho. Collectively, this was where they lived and breathed The FiVE:RACHA Project. Running the largest, most extensive fansite for South Korea’s most famous rap group, 3RACHA, was more than a full-time job. They all equally poured their hearts and souls into maintaining the website and their Twitter account. It proved to be almost too much for five people alone to handle as their shifts sometimes went from twelve hours and bled into sixteen, sometimes twenty-four hour shifts.

Minho, the leader, didn’t trust anyone but the original five to the project, however. Jeongin could hear the oldest man’s airy voice echo in his ears: “I trusted the four of you with this. Now, it’s devolved into something I don’t even recognize. There’s no way anyone deserves to see what we’ve done. Imagine if it got out that we were the ones in charge of this monstrosity?”

Jeongin glided into the kitchen, and pulled his phone out of his back pocket, eyeing the time. 13:36. He had another hour left of his shift, and he was exhausted after yesterday’s all-nighter. 33 hours of work, with only a small nap in between was rough on anyone, and he was starting to feel it, physically. His Shinyu Implant would ping him once every hour that he was very low on sleep, reminding him that it was unhealthy to go without sleep for so long and that he would not be able to drive. As he slinked his way to the fridge, he shoved his phone back into his pocket and yawned. He opened the fridge, the contents in the shelves of the door clattering as they abruptly shifted around.

The first thing he saw was a bottle of unsweetened coffee and, while he knew he shouldn’t drink caffeine within a few hours of hopeful sleep, Jeongin went against his instincts and reached for the bottle anyways. As he opened it, the cracking of the seal reverberated against all of the hard surfaces and sounded much louder than it should have, startling the man awake a bit.

He hated unsweetened coffee, but there was no way he would make it through another hour or so of coding maintenance without it. Jeongin polished off the entire bottle within seconds, grimacing in disgust the entire time. He tapped his right temple twice, and grumbled. “Set reminder, after work: grocery shopping. Have Hyunjin drive. Add to list: energy drinks. The good kind, none of that berry-flavoured shit.” A very faint, nearly inaudible ding responds after he’s done speaking, and Jeongin moves to discard the bottle into the recycling bin.

“Innie?” Almost as if the devil himself heard Jeongin’s request, a familiar voice rounded the corner of the kitchen. “Oh, good, I thought that was you. Anyway, you won’t believe the content I got from Yeji at Seoul Scoop, dude,” the lanky, beacon-like blond grins wildly at Jeongin, walking into the kitchen. “I actually got a photo of Chan and Changbin looking awfully close at KNECT’s backstage event a couple days ago. Think they were celebrating their recent win a little too hard.”

Hyunjin proudly slaps a grainy photo down on the countertop, where Changbin is sitting in Chan’s lap, arms wrapped around the older man’s neck. Sure, it could easily be explained away as friendly closeness, since everyone knew that all of the guys were very close friends, and the area was cramped. The photo, however, would cause a lot of panic within the community.

Jeongin smirked as he eyed the photo, taking it into his fingers and bringing it up close to his face. “The shippers are going to have a field day over this, you know.”

“I know,” Hyunjin shakes some of his hair out of his face as he arrogantly places a hand on his hip, shifting his weight to one side. “It’ll be great traffic for the site. I’ll have Seungmin put it on the front page later.” He takes a couple of steps closer to Jeongin and pulls the younger man to his chest, stroking his hair down. “I love you, but you look like shit. Why not call it a little early today?”

Jeongin shook his head, burying his nose into the older man’s shoulder, letting his eyes flutter shut with a sigh. “Seungmin and I are trying to fix a string of broken code that’s causing the social media feed to bug out a little bit. Definitely wanna have that fixed before we upload this.”

A clattering of keys startles both of the younger men, causing them to look behind Hyunjin. “Don’t worry about it, Jeongin,” a third voice speaks from the entrance of the kitchen. “Seriously, you worked really hard yesterday, and I’m sure we’ll manage. I’ll be sure to wake up Felix a little earlier and we’ll fix the coding.”

“You’re home early, Minho,” Jeongin chuckles once as he nods. “Figured you’d be stuck in the office for a few more hours.”

“Nah,” Minho dismissively waves his hand in the air as he walks over to the sink, rinsing his hands. “Seungmin called me earlier and said you were nodding off at your desk, asked me to come home early.”

A look of guilt washed over Jeongin’s face. “Shit, my bad.”

“Don’t apologize,” Minho smiles as he towels off his hands. “I appreciate all of the work you did yesterday; completely revamping the social media section was hard. But I can’t have you possibly miscode something and have it break the site because you’re running low on sleep. You’ve started getting pings, haven’t you?”

Jeongin sheepishly nods his head and mumbles an affirmation.

Hyunjin rolls his eyes and elbows the young man in the side. “I thought I told you to take a nap, dude?”

“I did!” Jeongin whines. “It was, like, a half-hour, though.”

Both Hyunjin and Minho roll their eyes at Jeongin. “Get out of here,” Minho scoffs, walking towards the server room. “Go to bed. I don’t wanna see you back in the server room until tomorrow morning.”

Jeongin opens his mouth to protest, but Hyunjin drags him away, up the stairs towards their bedroom. A ping comes from his implant, a transparent box popping up in the lower right-hand corner of his vision. The soft voice of the AI reverberates against his skull, allowing him to hear it as if it were a real voice whispering into his ear. It reads off the notification from his display.

“Movement away from workplace detected. Reminder: grocery shopping later, have Hyunjin drive. Would you like me to pull up your list?”

“No.” A low grumble comes up from Jeongin’s throat as he taps his temple twice to dismiss the notification. “Hyunjin,” he sighs, “we’ve gotta go grocery shopping.”

“You’re too tired,” Hyunjin shakes his finger without turning to look at Jeongin. “The grocery store will still be there tomorrow.”

“I’m out of my energy drinks, though,” the younger man protests.

Hyunjin smiles, opening the door to their bedroom and whispers. “I’ll be sure to get some for you. Go cuddle up with Felix and get some sleep.”

“Hyunjin, I—” Jeongin is cut off as the older man grabs his wrist, pulling him into his chest. They share a brief kiss before Hyunjin guides him into the bedroom.

“Shh, Lixie is sleeping.”

There’s a shuffling that comes from the bedsheets, and a sleepy voice grumbles. “Not anymore.”

“Aw, mornin’, babe,” Hyunjin says with a smile. “Sorry to wake you. Minho’s probably gonna come ask for you in a bit, anyways, though.”

Felix rolls over, sitting upright as he runs his hands through his brassy blond hair. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you,” Jeongin sighs as he makes his way over to the bed, bringing an arm up to the blond and wrapping him in a lazy hug as he pulls them down to the bed.

The blond lets out a soft laugh. “Don’t worry about it, man,” he turns his head to face the bluenette and offers him a quick peck on the lips. “I couldn’t sleep much, anyways. Finding out about that myIdol rumour yesterday had my brain going kind of wild.”

“You heard about it too, huh?” Hyunjin says, colliding down onto the bed opposite of Felix. “Someone at Seoul Scoop told me about it this morning. It lets fans connect with their idols, like they’re actually directly messaging them.���

“That’s weird,” the bluenette sleepily grumbles into Felix’s shoulder.

“I think so, too.” Felix says with a frown as he nuzzles his head against Jeongin’s forehead, staring up into the ceiling.

Hyunjin shrugs with indifference. “I dunno, I think it’s pretty interesting.”

Jeongin lifts his head and stares down Hyunjin with a smirk. “You just want to pretend like Changbin cares about you.”

The older blond frowns as he flips off Jeongin. “Like you wouldn’t want Jisung to send you a ‘Have a wonderful day, bestie!’ message?”

The youngest member flops back down onto the bed. “Okay, that’s fair. It’s still weird, though. Seems so artificial and fake, I guess.”

“Well,” Hyunjin sits up, offering a hand out to Felix, “I’ll have more information on it tomorrow, probably. Why don’t you let yourself sleep for a while?” Felix takes the hand offered to him, and both men stand up. “Lixie and I will go out and get some groceries and get you those nasty energy drinks you like so much.”

Jeongin grumbles as he wiggles his way up to the pillows, half-asleep and irritated from the loss of warmth from Felix. “Just not the berry ones, okay?”

“I’ll see what we can do,” Hyunjin says with a smirk before he spins on his heel and walks out of the room. “Love you, Innie!”

“Don’t worry,” Felix leans down to kiss Jeongin’s forehead, “I’ll make sure he doesn’t get the kinds you hate. Let yourself actually sleep, too. We’ll make it all work out, okay?”

Jeongin mutters some sort of incoherent affirmation as he lets his heavy eyelids flutter shut. Seungmin would be able to fix the CSS by himself, he figured, trying not to worry too much about how broken small parts of the site were. He heard Felix say something else as he quickly faded off into sleep, but it didn’t register fully as he sank into the abyss.

There were a lot of sleepless nights ahead of them, whether FiVE:RACHA felt it coming or not.

[valla-chan]

65 Questions You Aren't Used To answered by ME

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

    Sometimes, but it always goes away fairly quickly.

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

    3, im not actively afraid of the dark itself but it can exacerbate paranoias

3. The person you would never want to meet?

    The guy on reddit with like 100 different parasites he spreads to people around him

4. What is your favorite word?

    Catgirl or Ghost maybe idk

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

    Monterey Cypress

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

    Oh my god my hair is so fucked, i look dead in the face too

7. What shirt are you wearing?

    gray longesleev :)

8. What do you label yourself as?

    gray-ace trans girl who is probably actually nonbinary but ignores that for the sake of simplicity

9. Bright room or dark room?

    dark

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

    in a voice call watching my friend stream hl2: lost coast

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

    19-20

12. Who told you they loved you last?

     gf :)

13. Your worst enemy?

    congress republicans

14. What is your current desktop picture?

    I have 3, and currently all of them are on images of hatsune miku

15. Do you like someone?

    mhm

16. The last song you listened to?

     No Children - The Mountain Goats

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

    Mitch McConnell

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

    Donald Trump

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

    A clone of myself, who i would make work on my portal mod lul

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

    My hair perhaps

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

    I dont know if this would make me male, female, or a trans man!

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

    Getting people to like me when i want them to, i guess? It sounds manipulative but if you dont use it to manipulate people, and you dont always do it (because sometimes you dont want the person to like you), then is it?

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

    I am afraid that my perception of other things is inaccurate and eventually i will realize that people around me regard me as someone who is very much detached from objective reality.

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

     Crab+lobster mix, avocado, cheese, caramelized onions, bacon, sourdough bread, basil+a bit of garlic, and probably other stuff i cant think of.... oh and sunchips stuffed inside that i could pull out and eat.

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

    Save it!!

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

    California!

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

    1) If you die we eat you

29. What is your favorite expletive?

    simply saying the word KILL!

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

    My computer :( it would cause the most extreme impact to have it be destroyed. i would feel terrible about everything else though

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

    I’d rather not say.

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

    sounds awful :(

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

    My kitty :(

34. What was your last dream about?

    I was playing a hidden level in Frogger: the Great Quest but then @ sleepysoul DM’d me to ask what my newest video was about cause she was weirded out by it, and i went to my youtube channel to find this bizarre video about crab-catching, which slowly descended into this video showing bizarre and cosmic horrors. For some reason i thought i uploaded it and tried to defend the video, but i could not explain it

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?

    I am a good 3d modeler, texturer, game mapper, and other things that have to do with digital 3d artstuff

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

    no

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

    yes

38. What is the color of your socks?

    All of mine are tan or dark blue. super lame and boring

39. What type of music do you like?

    Most currently, it fluctuates between “weirdcore” type aesthetic playlists of music, and anything Vocaloid.

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

    Sunrises, because im usually not awake for them so they are extra special

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

    strawberry maybe

43. Do you have any scars?

    One on the side of my butt where i tore it open on the bathtub faucet, one on my elbow from a bike accident, and 

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

    I dropped out :(

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

    my cheekbones and eyebrow ridge stick out so weirdly, id make it not look like that

46. Are you reliable?

    on small things? yes. on big things? nope, not in the least.

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

    Have you finally gotten out of this rut and found happiness and success?

48. Do you hold grudges?

    i kinda do but try not to

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

    Catgirl

51. Are you a good liar?

    only when im not trying to.

52. How long could you go without talking?

    consecutively, maybe a fourth of a day

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

    short.

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

    I’ve helped, but never done it myself!

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

    Oh, believe me, no. But i do it anyway because its objectively hilarious

56. What do you like on your toast?

    Not beans.

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

    Miku :)  (it turned out so badly i scrapped it)

58. What would be you dream car?

   Golden Leopard Print Golf Cart

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

      I lie down as to not pass out (and cause warmn wotter....)

60. Do you believe in aliens?

    [redacted]

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

    never

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

    E? (it has a nice synesthetic color)

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

    Dinos

64. What do you think about babies?

    gremlins. strange beings. they are very strange and creepy-ish but can be cute but RARELY. keep away.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #423

“i won’t think about you when i’m older  /  ‘cuz we never really had our closure”

Are you better at cooking dinners or making cakes/biscuits/sweets? Neither. Have you ever cut someone else’s hair? No. Who was the last guest in your house and what were they staying for? My late grandmother's husband stayed overnight when he was driving from New York to Florida or the other way around, idr. How many long term relationships have you been in? Two. Do you sleep with all the lights out, or do you leave a lamp or even the television on? My snake's heat lamp stays on. Who is one person you have forgiven, but still have not “forgotten” what they have done? My dad. Are you a fan of Lana Del Rey? I don't think I've even heard one of her songs. Do you know your blood type? A-. Do you know your mother’s birthday? Yes. Have you got your period at the moment? I haven't had my period since I started TMS. It's honestly so fucking frustrating that it obviously had an effect on my body, but not my depression. I've officially finished TMS as of a few days ago and now I just feel so void of hope. Have you ever been pregnant? No. How old were you when you first went on a plane? Idr, I was a little kid. Have you ever had to take out a loan for anything? Not me personally, but my parents have for my education that I threw away. Are both of your blood parents still in your life? Yes. I don't see my dad a lot, but he's still in my life regardless. When was the last time you went apple picking? I’ve never been. Someone asked you what you wanted, what would you say? Happiness. Have you ever been drunk at school or work? I have not. How many bedrooms are in your house? Three. Are you smart about computers? Not really, no. Have you ever played Just Dance for Wii? Yes. My sister loved them, so we have a few. Do you own a Xbox 360? No. I'm a PlayStation girl. Would you ever do a sex tape for a million dollars? No. I'd be mortified. So, do you need a nap? I really should take one. I slept like... maybe three hours last night. I was up most of the night having a fucking life crisis. What would you rather be doing? Something fun. What sport are you the best at? I haven't touched any sort of sport since I was a teenager. Do you have a little sister? What’s her name? Yeah, Nicole. Do you complain a lot? Kind of, but I generally try to keep it in surveys nowadays. I'm just tired of shit. Would you rather go to an authentic haunted house or an ancient temple? Ohhh, tough pick, but I've gotta say the ancient temple. Do you like fruity or minty gum? Both, really. Are you looking forward to any day of this month? Well July is practically over, so I'll answer for August. I'm looking forward to my nephew's birthday. Have you ever gotten detention? A few times for getting too many morning tardies in high school. Is there a traumatic event that you’ve experienced that’s changed your life? Definitely. Do you buy a majority of your clothes from a certain store, or do you just pick out items of clothing you could see yourself wearing, not caring about the store it came from? The latter. Have any of the artists you’re fond of released new albums recently? Powerwolf did recently. Would you ever keep your favorite animal as a pet? I could write a college-length essay on why meerkats do not make good pets whatsoever. Do fucking not get one. I can barely fathom how it's legal in some countries. Ever cried so much you threw up? No, but I've gagged. Who is your best guy friend? Girt. What do you two do when you hang out? Mostly just watch TV and play board games. What is a movie that you thought you would hate but you ended up loving? I dunno, really. Do you even like horror movies? I love horror movies. Do you live in the country? I wish I still did. :/ Me and Mom hate hate hate living in these suburbs. What is your favorite accent? British. Have you ever had a boyfriend your parents didn’t like? No. Do you drink Pepsi or Coke? Coke. Pepsi is gross. What do you plan to do on your 21st birthday? I was literally in the psych hospital for my 21st birthday lmao. It's kind of a painful memory, but I also won't forget the love and kindness people showed me. I especially remember the friend I made there getting the lunch lady to literally go and buy me a slice of cake. Everyone also sang happy birthday to me and gaaaah I'm getting emotional. Do you have any person in your family with an addiction to beer? That was my dad's drink of choice when he drank. Do you take a lot of pictures? Unless I have my camera and am somewhere pretty, no. What kind of face wash do you use? Water, lol. Does drama always seem to follow you? Nah. Does anybody in your family race? No. Are you closer to your mom or dad? My mom. How much money did you used to get from the ”tooth fairy?” Uhhh... I want to say $2 or something? I might be way off, idr. How long do you want to live with your parents? I WISH I could have moved out with an s/o already, but that's just not how life's worked out. Do you have a laptop or desktop? I have a laptop. Do you like your parents? I love them. Do you secretly like someone? It's not a secret, no. Would you ever date your best male friend? Tried that once and it didn't work out. I liked him more as like a brother. What are you currently listening to? "Better Than Me" by Hinder. I really need to turn it off, but I can't make myself. Do you want to be single? I really wish I had a partner to love and motivate me to strive to do better, but I know it's better I'm single right now. I'd just relive the Jason situation, I'm sure. I'd just drag the person down and lose them. Did you go out or stay in last night? I'm almost always at my fucking house not doing shit, so. Have you pretended to like someone? No, that sounds pretty stupid... How is your heart lately? Hurting. A lot. Are you wearing socks? I hate wearing socks and I'm in bed anyway, so no. What do people call you? Britt, mostly. Do you get stressed out easily? VERY. Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance? No. What is wrong with you right now? Where the hell to begin. Do you own something from Hot Topic? A lot. Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone? With someone, so long as the bed is big enough to comfortably fit two of us. Do you still talk to the person you last made out with? No. I'm certain he wants nothing to do with me. Have you ever seen your best friend cry? Sadly. Did you get any compliments today? Definitely not. I look and feel like a wreck right about now. There's nothing to praise me about. Have you ever gone to a beach? Many times. What would you say if someone asked you to get high right now? Unless it was an edible, no. I'd do almost anything to try and make me feel better right now, even if just for a little while, but I'm unwilling to smoke anything. Do you believe that everything happens for a reason? HELL no. Have you ever done volunteer work just because you wanted to? Honestly, no. Do you have long nails? No; I never do because I have an awful habit of picking at them. Do you like the gender you are? I don't like or dislike it, honestly. I'm just neutral. Do you generally look nice in photos? HA. Have you ever had a stick insect as a pet? No. What colour are your father’s eyes? They're dark brown. If I handed you a concert ticket right now, who would you want to be the performer? Ozzy, duh. Name three facts about your family? We're very, very spread out geographically, some of us (in other words, me) are emotionally distant, and uh... idk. Would you ever get into a long distance relationship? Only if it was a certain person, our lives were more on track, and we were making plans for either of us to move soon. What’s the most thoughtful present you’ve ever received? Probably this really long letter my mom wrote for me on my bday a couple years ago. What’s your favorite hot beverage? Hot chocolate. Did you ever play an instrument? If so what? I played the flute for many years, all through middle school and through much of high school. Would you rather carve pumpkins or wrap presents? Carve pumpkins, for sure. Do you think you’re important? I don't fucking know. Probably not. What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received? Idk. Have you been diagnosed with any mental disorders? *hands over thick book* Have you ever moved to another state or country? If so, how did it feel to be new? No. Do you know how to properly eat food with chopsticks? No. My hands are way, way too shaky to ever accomplish that. Are you more of a leader or a follower? Definitely a follower, but I can step up in certain situations. What was the first thing you ate today? Well, I was seriously depression-eating last night, way past midnight, and had a peanut butter sandwich. If you could spend the day, doing absolutely anything, with anyone, anywhere, what would it be like? LET'S NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT RIGHT NOW. If I were to ask you how you are doing, and you were only able to answer completely honestly, what would come out? "Falling apart." I've lost direction, motivation, strength, hope, just everything. What is the one thing that you have been avoiding that you should do? I need a fucking shower so bad that it's embarrassing. I just can't move. I have no energy, emotionally or physically. I just can't make myself do it. Is there anything that you wish you could take back? So, so badly. What, in your mind, could make you truly happy? Actually reaching goals. Losing weight. Healing my legs. Knowing with certainty that I wasn't emotionally abusive to Jason. Moving out of this town and back into the country. Financial stability. A job I thoroughly enjoy. I could go on, but let's not. If you could change one conversation in your life, what would you say differently? Would it have REALLY made any difference? God, let me take back shit I said in that fucking letter to you-know-who. It's so hard to believe I once thought it perfectly justified and realistic. When is the next time you’ll change your hairstyle? Will you color it? I don't have any plans of changing the style in the foreseeable future. I want to color it BADLY. To just SOMETHING. Do people normally say you’re a fast typist, or are you rather slow? I'm like, a lightning-fast typist. Have you ever been considered the ‘smartest person in school?’ No; my best friend in HS was, though. Her GPA was fucking insane. I was in the top percentile, though, so I was up there. What the hell happened to that girl. How many drugs are in your system? If we're including prescriptions, a whole hell of a lot. What’s on your schedule for tomorrow? Jack shit. Like usual. Do you currently have any bite marks/hickeys on your body? No. Do you call anyone baby? Excluding my pets, no. What’s your current mood? lol if you've gotten this far reading, you can make an educated guess. Do you think you are a good person? Bro I just don't know. What were you doing before filling out this survey? I was playing WoW. How late did you stay up last night? Like, 4:30 or so. When was the last time you cried really hard? I wanna say like a week ago? Is your hair longer than your shoulders? No. It still badly needs a trim, though.

[desertpacificoctopi]

27 from the horror asks for the Teens??? 22 as well because i think im funny < 3

OOOO THEM WAILS.....

27. Imagine your oc in a world based on their inner psyche, with physical representations of all their problems and life experiences. What would it look like? How would your oc deal with being in it? oh fuck. oh god uhh jksdjhfs but it's such a good question tho...

the cypress's psyche is like a ruined city in deep dark night. there used to be infrastructure and life here but a lot of it is broken, and there are weeds and saplings growing through the pavement. you need a flashlight to make it through and even that only does so much. for her, picking through it all is a massive mystery, and each new piece of rubble she overturns gives her more questions than answers. hopefully the day will come soon, so she can see the whole thing clearly.

the hydrangea's psyche is a small town held in the shadow of a mountain range. the sun only shines on it sometimes because of how tall the mountains are, so it's a little cold there. he thinks it's homey and nice, but a bit lonely. there's a farmer's market there. i genuinely don't know why it's significant but he decided it's there. he doesn't mind the place itself but he still hasn't found a coat so.

the plumeria's psyche is,, the office from the stanley parable honestly. there's a lot of things in there but not a lot of the Things matter, it's more abt how you move through the place. they don't want to look through the file cabinets or turn on the desktop computers. they wanna go find that one room with the pretty lights and colors, or the exit toward the little staged town. it's easy to get lost in the building though. no matter where they go, the building is always right there behind them. and that terminal is always on. that damned terminal.

the snapdragon's psyche is a library. she isn't in here for herself really, though she does have some favorite numbers of books on hand. there are people to help and she has a little rolodex and a map of the place, where she can point people to where they can get help with something or find something specific. the whole place is very warm and well-thought out. there's a section in back she doesn't let people go to, though. it's also not clear what is outside the building.

the elderflower's psyche is an abandoned subway, emptied out and walled off and full of graffiti. there's a lot of dark corners. but also some alcoves with cushions and music speakers and minifridges. it didn't used to be this nice down here, but there's clearly been efforts made to clean it up. he peers into one of the boarded-off tunnels. something drips. he'll have to deal with that sometime. there are other things to fix, though, and this one will have to wait.

22. Does your oc believe in ghosts? i'm going to kill you (affectionate) the hydrangea probably does and has a healthy respect for them, though he has no proof. the cypress thinks that is fucking stupid. the plumeria's seen enough shit to go Yeah They Might As Well Exist. the snapdragon thinks the concept is interesting, but in a horror-movie-just-for-fun kind of way. the elderflower doesn't have an opinion either way, but thinks it could make sense.

thank u kyrin..... weeps softly......

[izupie]

1, 30, and 46.

Thanks so much for the questions from this ask game~

1. who are your biggest inspirations? would you link your favorite(s) of their work?

Biggest inspirations... well, there’s a whole bunch from a variety of different fandoms. But usually the slowburns tend to stay with me the longest and impact me the most. I always strive to try and get to that kind of level of storytelling, which is funny because I’ve never had the patience to actually WRITE a slowburn myself. Ah well. Inspirational in any case. 

These are all pretty old, but I think they really shaped my writing style and how I try to write myself. They impacted me enough to remember them even after all this time.

Interstellar Transmissions by  LovelyThings, ricca_riot (Star Wars - Reylo)

Dirty Laundry by Gibslythe (VLD - Klance)

Lost to the Sands by Giga Bowser NS (My Little Pony - No Ships)

Between the Lines by Metalmark (Resident Evil - Steve/Claire)

Now the Light Falls by Lunar_Resonance (Soul Eater - Soma)

Oh and the very story that inspired me to write in the first place... behold! A Neopets story from the early 2000s because I can’t find it’s official publish date! This thing was the first time I had ever read a story by someone online. I was sat at like my dad’s huge windows 95 desktop computer, barely knowing how to use it properly, but I was obsessed with neopets and that fact that someone had just written this because they wanted to just Unlocked something in my head. I realised I could do that too. I was like 10 or something though so I ended up emulating this a whole bunch and writing loads of self inserts - I even wrote something kind of similar to this because 10 year olds do that when they find something they enjoy in that way ahaha.

All the Colours by hot_pink_lizard (even the username is so early 2000s) (Neopets)

A true relic. I had to HUNT this thing down using only what I could vaguely remember about it.

30. which character do you find the easiest/hardest to write?

I find Ochako the easiest character to write ever I swear. I barely even need to really think about her dialogue and actions, because they come so naturally. I channel a lot of her energy when I write her, so she’s just easyyy. I think that’s probably why I ended up writing so much Izuocha to be honest, like, I love the ship, don’t get me wrong, but it was nice to be able to just slip into writing something so easy and natural that it was always fun. But the flipside of that is that it no longer becomes very challenging and I wasn’t pushing myself as a writer much ;;

Hardest to write is Richie Tozier. Because I am NOT witty. At all. Give me like three hours after the fact and I’ll probably then come up with some kind of witty retort I could have said, but at the time? I usually just laugh and let other people do the witty banter thing. How do you write a character who’s supposed to be naturally funny without being funny yourself??? It’s tough.

46. how did you get into your fandom(s)?

My Hero Academia was something I’d seen online a whole lot, especially on tumblr. I think I followed someone who shipped Kacchako, and they posted some gifs of their sports festival fight and I was like huh, that looks interesting. So I youtubed it and watched the clip. Then I watched some more clips. And then I realised I was going to have to watch the show to get context to all of this stuff. And then I was Hooked. But I already knew some pretty random spoilers walking into it lmao. Curse my curiosity!

IT was really random because I enjoy watching some of the Nostalgia Critic videos (don’t boo me!) and I hadn’t been interested in the IT review, because I actually hate horror films, but I was about to wash some dishes and I just wanted to put something funny on my phone to distract me. What really intrigued me was when he said that Richie felt like a character from a different movie, because of how funny and obnoxious he was. So I decided to watch a recommended clip of like Richie Tozier being chaotic for however many minutes straight or something, and I was Hooked. Decided to watch more clips. Got hooked on fanfiction before I’d even seen the film. Needed context. Watched the movie. Loved it. 

I’m like that with a lot of stuff apparently???

[newenglandswiftie]

Dear Taylor,

Where do I begin? How do you address the woman who has gotten you through some of the worst heartbreaks and been the soundtrack to some of your best memories? How do I even begin to express my gratitude, respect and love? I guess I'll start at the beginning...

In 2006 I was a senior in high school and on MySpace (Yes, kids. We had a form of social media called MySpace that you had to access from your desktop computer.. the HORROR) and I remember going to a friends page and their profile song was A Place in this World. From the second I heard the first verse, I instantly related to the lyrics and had to investigate this artist Taylor Swift. I went to your artist page and immediately began to binge your songs. The words of Tim McGraw brought me to tears and I blasted Picture to Burn in my car cursing all of the boys who did me wrong. I remember buying a shirt from Target that said Stay Beautiful just because of you. I remember falling in love for the first time and telling him how I felt and being crushed when he didn't feel the same. I cried myself to sleep listening to A Perfectly Good Heart for a month.

In 2010 I was in a really awful relationship. I was verbally abused and I didn't even realize it. I was treated like absolute garbage and I just assumed that's the best I could do and I was lucky that someone even liked me. I finally ended it and Breathe on repeat got me through. That song put everything I couldn't find say into words. I remember driving around aimlessly with my best friend blasting Fearless. We used to scream the words to Forever & Always so loud that we would lose our voices. I remember my mom surprising me with tickets to the Speak Now tour. I had never seen you live and I was ecstatic. This was the beginning of the tradition of my mom, sister and I going to every tour together. I remember seeing you perform Dear John with such emotion and passion. The fireworks. The hair flips! We had such an amazing time and knew we could never miss a Taylor Swift tour again!

In 2014 I had to walk away from a relationship. I loved him with all of my heart and I truly thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with him. But as I got older, I realized we just weren't on the same page anymore. He had other things in his life that were more important than working on our relationship. I had to move out of our apartment and back in with my parents. I remember begging and pleading with him to change. Playing The Last Time on repeat trying to find the confidence to walk away and I finally did. Blasting WANEGBT when he begged for me back and feeling so empowered.

In 2016 I found myself in a relationship that was just... fine? There was nothing particularly wrong, it was just too easy. I remember listening to The Way I Loved You and realizing I didn't want a mediocre boring love. I wanted more. I ending up falling head over heels in love with someone else. He was everything I ever wanted and hoped for. I thought this was it. He promised me the world and told me he was picking out a ring. It went down hill very quickly and whenever we would fight, his answer was to leave. He broke up with me probably 4 different times and I took him back every single time. I was constantly on edge wondering if he was going to break up with me again. Out of the Woods was word for word how I felt and got me through every day. It was the most exhausting and draining experience of my life. I was numb. It finally ended (he kicked me out of our home at 2am) and I was in disbelief. I was completely broken and could barely get out of bed. I couldn't put into words exactly how I felt but Dear John hit the nail on the head. Coincidentally, his name was also John so it was extremely fitting. In the depths of my despair, I remember thinking, What Would Taylor Swift Do? She would turn this situation into art. In this moment, I started my own blog about my relationship and dating experiences, the good and the bad. So many people wrote to me telling me how much it helped them. I even got contacted by my ex all pissed off about the blog. I thought to myself, this must be exactly how Taylor feels on a daily basis haha

Flash forward to now. I am in the healthiest, best, most amazing relationship I have ever experienced. He loves me fiercely and deeply. He's my best friend. CIWYW and Delicate perfectly describe my feelings for him. He even got me an initial necklace like the one you wear.

The bottom line is, no amount of words could ever explain how grateful I am for you. I have been bawling my eyes out on the bathroom floor, blindly in love and felt betrayed all to the soundtrack of your music. Being the same age, I feel as though we went through very similar situations and life experiences at the same time. Whenever you release new music, it matches up perfectly with my life and what I'm going through. I can honestly say you've helped shape me into the person I am today. I would have been lost without your music and in times when I felt I had no one to turn to, I took comfort in your lyrics. You probably will never read this, but I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for always being Taylor Swift, remaining Fearless, Speaking now, expressing raw Red emotions, being born in 1989, defending your Reputation and turning into a mature, beautiful Lover.

I hope to meet you one day and tell you all of this in person. I've looked up to you so much and I can't wait to see what you do next.

Here's to 30, Tay.

Love,

Melanie

@taylorswift @taylornation

[rabble-dabble]

CHOOSE: 

==>Dirk Strider

==>????????

==>????????

>Dirk Strider_

Your name is Dirk Strider. 

And you have a pretty awesome big brother. 

At least, you like to think so. He might not be around very much for most of the time you’re home, but when he is, he doesn’t disappoint you with the brotherly bonding he likes to do. Engaging in your interests, encouraging you to do the things you like to make, and even sharing nearly the same humor and potent irony that the both of you are pretty sure you’re the two funniest people to have lived, ever, in the history of living. 

From all the surfing on the internet, though, it’s sort of unexpected from a sibling conducted relationship. You’ve read all about them, and siblings are supposed to be supportive, and if not, the viral enemy of one’s childhood. Since you can’t really debate whether or not the enemy of your childhood was loneliness or the ideas you’ve thought about doing due to it - even once coming close to making an A.I. copy of yourself - you’re pretty sure you and he are in the clear here. Yup. Nothing ever uncool goes on between the Striders - why would it? You and he have reached an understanding that’s so unrivaled that you don’t ever think anyone could possibly beat it. As long as you don’t get yourself into trouble and he makes some time to come home and be the presence of adult you need, it doesn’t ever get weird. 

Well, only whenever you don’t find yourself breaking the rules.

It’s not like it was your fault. You did not ever have any intention in using the empty program that sat unfilled and unchummed on your desktop - you don’t even remember how it appeared there. You don’t quite remember having it downloaded or getting a particularly rancid virus. You like to keep your gear in top shape, thank you very much, because not only has your brother taught you the importance of being grateful even with the kind of provisions you have, but you learned the very hard way that being careless led to preciously lost save data on games you liked to play ironically. 

(Dave had to stay home for a week straight and binge cartoons for you to get out of that depressive episode.)

You liked following the rules though. The rules kept you safe, and kept you generally happy, and you really didn’t mind there being rules in the first place. They are obviously supposed to be there in the first place, and considering you are a kid who has no business in parenting yourself, the terms of the rules are pretty relaxed for as long as you didn’t have rules when you were first growing up. 

You think it makes it worse, though, that this was the first rule. Generally, the rule he was pretty series in making, especially if it came in first. 

“Number one, little dude: No hitting it up with digital strangers.”

And yet, the little chatbox had appeared before you like a forbidden last cookie at dinnertime, inciting years of worry and doubt and loneliness like the bitter aftertaste of an unproperly made microwave dinner.

uranianUmbra [UU] started cheering timaeusTestified [TT]

UU: cheers!! hello lovely being.

UU: woUld you perhaps be interested in making a friend?

CHOOSE: 

==>Dirk Strider

==>Roxy Lalonde

==>????????

>Roxy Lalonde_

Your name is Roxy Lalonde. 

And you think your mom is the funniest mom ever.

Oh, no, not in humor. Your mom sucks at making good jokes. In fact, you don’t think except for her well constructed book series that was able to become a best seller, and you have every copy of stored under your bedframe, she cannot make a joke to save her life. You know this because you have heard her calls with Dirk’s older brother Dave Strider over the phone, attempting not to giggle lest you be heard, and the joke she tried executing fell flatter than the “ironic” fanfiction of MLP you have bore witness to Dirk’s easily crackable computer drive. She is, as best as you can really put, not funny at all.

Oh, but she’s a great mom. She’s the greatest mom ever! Granted, you’ve only ever had her as your only mom, but the time the two of you have had together has just been a-okay in your book. More than a-okay, really, because you finally have her with you, and you get to do a bunch of mom-daughter stuff that you used to daydream about after an exhausting day of feeding carapaces, petting mutated kitties and sipping on some fermented juices.

You don’t get to touch the juices anymore. She put a stop to that almost immediately - and although if irked you just a bit, because after all she had put that there to begin with - you thought long and hard about it. And you came to the conclusion that she was right about it, and, honestly, she was mom, so what were you going to do about it? Complain??

Why would you complain about finally having a mom??

So you think she’s pretty great. 

You can tell Dirk thinks the same about his brother, even if he doesn’t admit it as easily. Once upon a time, you thought Dirk had been a little bit of a snobbish guy who got too much into your biz and about everything you two did. But, really, with the help of your mom and Dirk’s bro, you understand now - he was only trying his best. And, in some way, you had been too. Neither of you were ever supposed to take care of yourselves like that.

But now you have Mom, and Dirk has Dave, and even though it’s really small, you couldn’t wish for anything more.

What more could you possibly wish for than Dirk, Dave and Mom??

uranianUmbra [UU] started cheering tipsyGnostalgic [TG]

UU: greetings, gracefully esteemed friend of dirk!!

UU: i was wondering if perhaps yoU woUld like to make acquaintances?

CHOOSE:

==>Dirk Strider

==>Roxy Lalonde

==>Jake English

>Jake English_

Your name is Jake English.

And your Mum...

Is the most infuriating person you have ever met!!!!

Granted, she is the only person you have ever met. In real life. Ever. And that is sort of her fault too!!!! She never let’s you go anywhere, and she never let’s you think about the outside world, and if you so much as look at skyscrapers or parks or places with snow for too long she get’s this weird, contorted look on her face and you’re subjected to another talk about how the “island is the safest home we have, the world is a dangerous place, don’t go expecting it to be cozy and gentle and soft, Jake,” and now you can’t even deal with all of her nonsense about a world you have never explored. 

And it’s not like you don’t think about it. Every night that you go to bed, you listen with an open hear close to the window frame in case of the first rumble of unnerving technology comes close. Every day you’re up and around the island, you have to see and worry and think about the creatures that live among you, thinking about how easy it could be for your Mum could become seriously injured and you would have no way of reaching an outside source of help. You think a lot about how the world could be, and how fun it might be, but how overrun with horrid things it could be too. Your Mum has certainly sealed that image permanently, if not since forever and also when you first watched your (first and only) horror movie. The house had been extra barricaded that summer.

But you’re not a little child to coddle over anymore. You’re not the little boy who easily runs into his mother’s arms in the first instance of danger. Not only are you not that young scampering lad anymore who would trip and scrap his knees and cry, but you don’t think that at least seeing what the world out there looks like would ever hurt you in the slightest.

You don’t even have to stay out there. You just want to see it. See the people, real people, moving along and living their lives and watch as the cars run closely and the chatter of a good evening rolls around and see the rush of life around. You want to see snow and your breath puff coldly into the air and ice forming naturally instead of a refrigerator. You want to see the long meadows and the empty fields where the land won’t suddenly end on the other side. You just want to see it, it is nearly your biggest dream, and you hate that your Mum won’t even let you use the web without regulating what you can and cannot see. 

You’re pretty cheesed about it. You love your Mum, but at this point, you’re itching to just go anywhere, anywhere, but stay here. 

You wish you could see just the world from anywhere but your home.

uranianUmbra [UU] started cheering golgothasTerror [GT]

UU: hello fellow chUm!

You had sat there for around ten minutes staring at that message. 

UU: i hope yoU don’t mind, i’m not meaning to intrUde so brashly. i’m simply aboUnd looking for potential friends!

UU: so perhaps yoU woUld be tickled to become mine?

You had to look around and make sure Mum wasn’t near you. You hadn’t realized you were holding your breath until you let it out, and turned back towards the screen to assure that, yes, someone was able to message you. Even though Mum had blocked it and your ability to contact anyone yourself, someone had gotten through.

GT: Why, salutations!

GT: My name is jake!!

Your name is Jake English.

And, against all odds, you have made a friend.

[spnfanficpond]

Survey results and responses

A couple of weeks ago, we put out a survey to get a feel for some things, and we got over a dozen responses! Thanks to everyone who responded and told us what you’re looking for! 

There were some responses that we would like to get some clarification on, and some responses that requested things we’ve already got out there. Below the cut is a rundown of some of the questions and responses, along with links to things that already exist and plans to enact some of the things you’ve suggested. 

If you responded to the survey, please read below! We need your input!

1. What things related to posting your works on Tumblr or other sites would you like to learn more about? For example, Keep Reading cuts, finding gifs, giving credit to gif and edit creators, etc.

A tutorial for adding Keep Reading to fics, both on a computer and on the app, would be helpful.

How far down should I put a keep reading?

Anything related to gifs

Best apps or sites to use for making gifs.

Finding gifs and giving credit to creators

when should I give someone credit for being a beta (for example: I bounced ideas with someone for a minute or two but they didn't technically beta read it; I can't decide between X and Y (with no context), pick one)

linking posts to blog bios

The facts on the search issues (re: links, tags, and anything else that keeps a fic from being "searchable") - I see people saying various things, so sourced facts would be nice, if possible

These are great requests, and we’ll do our best to address them in the next LiveChat Event!! There were some requests that we’ve already addressed, so here’s some links to those:

What should I be including for reader info, eg: Warnings? Word Count? Summary? Characters...? - Suggested Format for Fics

Feedback - December 2018 LiveChat Recap (Feedback and Beta Reading)

Building an audience/gaining exposure - November 2018 LiveChat Recap (Reader involvement)

There was one request for “troubleshooting”, but we’re not sure exactly what’s meant by that, so if you requested this, please send us an ask or an IM and clarify what kind of troubleshooting you’re curious about!

2.  What tags would you like to see our "#writer resources" tag broken down into? For example, grammar, publishing, etc. (Currently, we only have a couple of tags that are used consistently to tag posts that are reblogged from other blogs, like writing prompts and reference posts we think might be useful for our members. We would like to make finding information easier by refining our tags so posts about grammar aren't mixed in with posts about publishing, for example.) Please list below any tags that you think would be helpful for us to use to make these posts easier to find when you're looking for them.

Word choice/vocabulary

Grammar

Synonyms

Spelling

Punctuation

Editing

Tutorials

Challenges

Tips

Inspiration

Publishing

Plot

Characterization/character development

World building

Genre tags like romance, action, horror, etc.

Dialogue

All of these are great! We’ve got some questions about some of the others that were suggested, though. If you can send us an ask or an IM and clarify about these, we’d love to hear from you!

Writing Prompts - This tag is already in use. 

How to format - How to format what? Need some clarification on this.

Getting started - With what? Is this like inspiration or something different?

Brainstorming - What kinds of posts would be under this tag?

Comments - What kinds of posts would be under this tag?

Awards - We already have a tag for the AFA’s, so is this for something different?

We’d love your feedback on these ones we’re unsure of, so let us know!

3.  Is there anything you wish was easier to find on the blog?

Maybe a list of frequently used tags on the FAQ page so I'm not blindly trying tags when I try to search for something.

Once we get a set list of tags we’ll be using, there will be a post or page listing them with links. First step is setting up the list, which is why we asked question #2. We’re on the right track!

New pond member stories. 

By stories, do you mean fics they’ve written, or info about who they are? We post a list of new Pond members with links to their work every month. You can check them out here. If this isn’t what you’re looking for, please send us an ask with some examples!

The submit box!

Are you on desktop, mobile, or the app? Please send an IM to @mrswhozeewhatsis or @manawhaat about this so we can help you and figure out why it’s not easily accessible for you!

I wish ships and pairings were tagged so I can easily filter and find fics submitted to the pond.

This is something we’ve considered, but it’s been on the back burner while we focus on other issues. Someday, we would like to be a blog for readers, not just writers, and instituting a tagging system for fics would be part of that. Setting that up, though, will be a big project, since there are so many ships and tags to consider. How to do it without making the submit page four miles long with tag options is another hurdle. This is on our radar, but it might be a while.

I wish some things like pond members, tag list, and writing resources were easier to find on mobile./ Links are difficult to find on mobile.

The problem with the member lists is that they are pages, not posts, because pages are easier to manage than posts. Posts are slippery things that can be lost if we’re not careful, whereas pages are rooted in the blog where we can’t lose them. Sadly, the app can’t read pages, for some reason.

Another problem is that the app can’t handle a navigation block. Short of filling the bio with a ton of links, which gets very messy and hard to read, there’s no way to make these links available on the app.

That being said, if you access Tumblr via a browser app like Chrome on your phone, all of these links are available at the top of the blog! Not only are they available, the member rolls and everything you can’t see on the app are completely accessible!

Mobile friendly versions of beta and tag lists? The spreadsheets are awesome, but a little hard to read.

Spreadsheets are the only way we know to allow users to filter, which is a major part of the functionality of both lists.  If you’ve got suggestions for how to do this, we’re open to them!

4.  Is there anything you'd like to see more or less of on the blog?

More thesaurus/synonym like posts. For those that struggle to use other words for_____ and want to.

Interesting! We don’t see many posts like that out there, so this might be content we’d have to create. Perhaps we could solicit words from our members and create posts like this based on those suggestions? What do you think?

I think it would be good to expand the tags for submissions to include more info, like more specific other trigger categories, things that are typically taboo that a reader should know about, if the story is smut/angst/fluff, etc.

This was mentioned and addressed above, so we won’t repeat it all here.

I'd like to see more writing prompts.

More than just what’s in the #writing prompt tag? We’ll need more clarification on this one!

More things about the community like fic recs, nominations, maybe get-to-know pond member posts.

Since we’ve already got the Angel Fish Awards and the monthly New Members posts, which both include fic recs, we’ll need some clarification on what you’re looking for there. As for posts about getting to know individual pond members, this sounds like a great idea! We’re open to suggestions on how to choose what members get chosen!! Send us an ask with your ideas!!

I wish there were more active big fish in the pond.

Being a Big Fish is a big responsibility, and we understand that not everyone is up to it. We ask that our Big Fish be consistently kind and generous with other members, spend some time every month in the chat room so Guppies and Jellies can ask them for help, signal boost posts when asked, assist with Pond projects when requested, be involved with the Angel Fish Awards, and like/reblog fics by other Pond members. Doing all of that AND having a life outside of Tumblr can be a lot. 

Because of all of that, we don’t usually approach Jellies and ask them if they’d be interested. We wait for Jellies to come to us. It’s a big thing, and we don’t want to pressure folks. If someone is interested, they should read this post about how Big Fish are chosen, and let us know that they are interested!

5. What kinds of prizes would you like to see more of in the monthly Angel Fish raffle?

Not sure what's currently being given away.

It changes slightly every month, and we make a post with the list of prizes. The post for June hasn’t gone up, yet, so keep an eye out on the blog!

I think it would be fun to incorporate Pond members that create stuff (like that have etsy shops or stuff like that) into the raffle.

If members would like to donate things from their shops as prizes, we would welcome them! 

Hmm maybe a fic commission from a big fish? (If they’re open. Or anyone the winner might want to commission, not just big fish. Also specifically one where the writer’d still get paid in lieu of buying another physical prize lol.)

This is an interesting idea, and we’re considering it from a few different angles!

6. Are there any topics you would like to see discussed in the monthly LiveChat events?

There was only one response to this one that we need some clarification on: 

Outlining series, how to give feedback, how to make your fanfics flow

We talked about Planning vs. Pantsing back in March, so check that out, and if it doesn’t give you what you’re looking for about outlining, let us know! As for feedback, we talked about Feedback and Beta Reading in December. Your last suggestion sounds interesting, but we need maybe an example of what you’re talking about to be sure we know what you’re looking for. Send us an ask and tell us more about your flow questions!

7. Is there anything else you'd like to tell us? Suggestions for improvement? Let us know here!

I love the Pond and I love the community that has been built from SPN. I feel like Big Fish are active (which they should be) and then a handful of people (category unknown, but I suspect they are Guppies) seem to be kind of active, but based on the descriptions Jellyfish seem like they should have a role as well. Could we do something with Live Chat where a Jellyfish helps answer questions or host with a BF maybe? JF should be approachable too but if we don't know them then it's hard to ask them anything and they seem just as intimidating as a BF. (BF are less intimidating to me because they interact with everyone more often actually). *shrugs* I don't know, maybe that's just me.

This is a tough one. Jelly Fish are basically Big Fish without the responsibility. (See above about Big Fish and our expectations of them.) We’ve focused on Big Fish with the LiveChats, but we aren’t against the idea of having Jelly Fish chat with us, too. (In fact, three of our events have featured Jellies.) This will take some thought to find ways to encourage Jelly Fish interaction. All suggestions are welcome!

I feel like a quarterly raffle would give more people time to vote/enter. Doing it every month feels a bit over saturated. Unrelated, but a Discord server would be nice. In my experience, those feel more open to community than a Skype chat bc there are different chats that people can interact in and it’s easier to moderate.

A quarterly raffle is totally doable, though the AFA’s will remain monthly. Would that still sound good?

Michelle has had learning Discord and setting up a server as the next thing on her to do list for three months, but just hasn’t had the time to sit down and learn (you know, when normal people are available to teach her, not the crazy hours she keeps). Kale is on Discord for other things, but is also just a beginner. We’re working on it! Discord is coming!!

If answering questions from surveys or comments or submissions in the live chat (or even interesting questions) could you post the question and answer on the blog for those that miss the chat and don’t want to/can’t scroll through it all to read everything.

You mean like the Recaps to the Monthly LiveChat Events?

I think it's great you put out these surveys. Maybe a designated suggestion option? You have the list for betas, how about a list of those that create aesthetics or art for fics?

These are awesome ideas!! Putting them on the to-do list!!

I think the Pond is really good, I just wish I knew/interacted with more people who are in it.

Tell us what would better enable you to interact, and we’ll see what we can do!

I'd suggest something to motivate people to take the time to submit to the pond? I feel like nobody hardly does it anymore, including myself, because it feels like nobody really interacts through the pond anymore.

The admins have discussed some ideas about this, but haven’t found a solution they can all agree on, yet. One admin suggested limiting Angel Fish nominations to fics that were submitted to the blog. Don’t submit, you can’t be nominated. One of the other admins hated the idea, and the third abstained. The only other suggestion has been to increase readers of the blog so writers have more incentive to submit to reach a larger audience. As mentioned above, we’re working on ideas towards that goal. What suggestions might you guys have? Another raffle for prizes? 

Just maybe add a few more big fish? If that's possible? Maybe more interaction with everyone to make them feel like a part of the pond. 

See above about adding more Big Fish. We need volunteers who are willing and able to keep up! Beyond trying to keep the chat room active, we could use some suggestions about how to increase interaction! Give us your ideas!!

That’s a lot to read, and kudos to you if you made it this far!! Thanks to everyone who responded to the survey, and we look forward to hearing more from you all!!

[prorevenge]

Teacher tells me I am lying about my mother having cancer.

This is a long one with TLDR at bottom

This was in my grade 11 year of high school, My computer class had a year long substitute teacher because our amazing teacher was out for a year working on a government contract. Our previous teacher was outstanding. He had six different classes in our classroom all happening at the same time which were: computer repair, programming lvl1, programming lvl2, networking lvl1, networking lvl2a and lvl2b. He would give a lecture for each of the classes on a specific day of the week, programming on Monday, repair on Tuesday and so on, we would all work in our own groups and everything went quite well.

The next year came around and I found out that we had a sub for the year I had two back to back blocks in this class cause I was doing two courses, I wandered up to the class to see what kind of teacher we were dealing with, mainly interested because i was almost certain whoever they found did not have the credentials to teach at least half of those classes. The new teacher was a foreign woman that none of us have ever heard of before, for the purpose of the story we will call her Mrs. S.

I went and found my friends to tell them what I had seen. We were all optimistic cause from a very short conversation she seemed quite informed and had a good background.

It didn't last long, on the first day of class Mrs. S introduced herself as a programming teacher who had been in school for four years. She went on to tell us about her programming experience in Microsoft Excel and Microsoft Access. She then told us that the programming students would not be doing the Java and C++ course we had signed up for and would instead be doing database and Excel because those are what she learned and she said and i quote 'they will be more useful than C and The Java'. She also went on to suspend all at lunch clubs because she didn't think high school students could be trusted with computers alone.

Understandably some of us were quite upset about that considering that we came there to program. She also did not give the repair people or the networking people any kind of support and completely stopped their lectures as well, preferring to let them figure it out themselves and 'self teach' without giving any of the resources to do so and occasionally throwing out a test pre-written by the last teacher for her.

This continued for about two weeks till one day she came in and said quite irritated that we would actually be doing 'The Java' now unless we wanted to keep doing database, so we switched to Java and she basically left us out to dry from there. because she wasn't teaching Database anymore she came to harass people in computer repair. First she told us the shop room was too messy and made us throw out 90% of our training workstations and equipment because they were not important in her eyes. Equipment that did not belong to the school but actually belonged to the other teacher. We took home what we could steal for safe keeping but she did end up throwing out a few thousand in equipment.

Then she started imposing stupid rules on us such as;

"You can't have the computer on while you are troubleshooting inside cause you could electrocute yourself"

Or

"You don't need the case open to troubleshoot motherboard lights"

Or my personal favorite and the most scary

"maybe you should change the power supply to 240v if you aren't getting enough power"

We followed most of her stupid requests as much as we could because she threatened to lock us out of the lab room and give us only textbook work if we didn't. Needless to say it was a challenging time. One of the students in the networking area got fed up and started doing up his own course work and lecturing to us so that we could at least get some kind of use out of the courses. To his credit it was all very good but Mrs. S had the balls to force him into doing it from there on out and then turn around and give him low grades for not getting his own work done on time.

A few months of this very uneasy balance go by and my mother comes down with Colon cancer. I have already had a handful of other family members suddenly taken from me by cancer so understandably this is a very stressful time. I was joking with my friends and trying to not break down over the whole thing. I had a very unstable laptop running Linux that would crash if looked at funny and had a horrible habit of corrupting the OS when the battery died because the reserve shutdown sensor didn't work anymore (battery always read 0% but would go for an hour or two). while I was working on the school desktop computer I had a few pages open that I was taking notes in and a facebook tab so I could keep in contact with my mother cause she was in surgery and I was waiting for her to come out. I look over and the teacher is snooping through my laptop opening folders and closing windows and eventually pushes the power button in till it shuts down (which also usually corrupts anything I was doing). The following happened.

M: What the hell do you think you are doing?

S: You shouldn't be on facebook or writing notes on a personal computer during class time, especially when your grades are slipping.

Thanks for bringing that up in front of everyone...

M: That gives you no right to touch my stuff! You better hope you didn't just corrupt everything! this laptop breaks easy.

S: Then you shouldn't have it out during class, keep that tone up and I'll see you get a detention.

At this point I am trying just to keep calm because if I get too emotional I have a tendency to explode. This is often made worse because of my mild autism. I took a second replied in a calmer tone.

M: I'm sorry, I'm just having a hard time at home right now... My mother was diagnosed with Colon Cancer and I am waiting to hear back.

And this is the part which REALLY set me off.

S: You don't look like a kid who's mother has cancer, quit making sob story excuses.

are you FUCKING kidding me‽

It took every fiber of my body not to stand up and slap the bitch right there. I gave her the dirtiest thousand yard stare I think I have ever done while also trying to not burst out crying. I spoke to nobody for the rest of the day till I got home, people kept asking if I was okay and I ignored everyone. My mother was out of the hospital and home by the time I got there. I broke down crying and told her about my day, her face was comforting but you could see the fire of an angry woman behind her brown eyes. She told me not to worry and that it'd be okay.

A few weeks passed and I was called into the office for a one on one parent teacher conference someone forgot to tell me about. There were all the teachers I had that year, good and bad, my Learning assistance teacher the VP and the principal herself. They told me that we were there to discuss my grade slippage as soon as my mother came. My mother was about 10 minutes late, leaving me to awkwardly sit with all these people. She comes in and is all smiles,

M: Sorry I am Late! I got held late at the hospital.

Someone but i'm not sure who asked her why she was at the hospital and if everything is okay. My mother answered in her happy way.

M: I was just getting my C̭̟̦̤̕A̰̣̰̼Ń͕̝̬C̵͕E̯R̥̫͇̹̳͝ checked on, Because I have cancer.

The room went cold and her voice seemingly dripped with blood when she said it, my computers teacher went pale and everyone in the room was giving a confused 'what on earth did you do' look

My mother proceeded to relay me coming crying home about how I was treated to everyone present while Mrs: S tried to become one with the wall of the small meeting room. She kept it short but to paraphrase added the following.

M: How dare you say something so careless to my son, I hope you are ashamed and I hope you don't get invited back for another year.

She then returned back to her normal happy self and discussed my grades like nothing happened whilst half the teachers were still trying to figure out what just happened and told them that now she was out of the hospital my grades should improve again. I just sat quiet the whole time and tried to suppress bursting out laughing.

After that day she never directly spoke to me again, had instructions relayed through other people or gave them to the class as a whole, she did her damnedest to be nowhere near me and say nothing to me. My grades improved quite a bit and the year ended with me passing.

Mrs. S was previously offered a job at the school as a secondary computer teacher but after all the trouble the job was pulled back. The next year when our first computer teacher returned he was furious to learn most of his equipment and personal books had been thrown out, we returned the things that we snagged during the purge but he still lost a few thousand in personal teaching stuff. The school payed him back with 10,000 but he says he lost so much more than that in time and pre-set hand made equipment. We told him all about the horror show and he gave us all an extensive test normally given at the end of the year which the vast majority of us failed, we ended up redoing all the computer courses from the previous year because in his words she didn't even teach us the basics. that sub can no longer teach in this or the neighboring districts

TLDR: Shitty year long sub fucks us all over, tells me i am faking my mother's cancer and destroys another teachers personal property. Gets ripped into by mother with all my teachers and VP and P present. looses opportunity to work in my district or any surrounding for being unprofessional and not knowing her subject forcing everyone in her class to retake the next year.

(source) (story by flanigomik)

[crossbowking]

The Road Ahead : Chapter 17

Chapter Index HERE

Summary : (Set in the beginning of season 1) Anna Brooks lost everything after the world ended — the last remaining part of herself being her older brother, who she lost contact with after communications dropped. While en route towards Atlanta to find him, Anna’s truck breaks down, leaving her at the mercy of the cruel new world. Now, Anna must face her fears head on as she struggles to deal with devastating loss, constant danger, and finding her way in a land that now belongs to the dead. But sometimes, a glimmer of hope can be found disguised as a short-tempered, hard-headed redneck who may just save her life in more ways than one.

Pairings : Daryl x Original Female Character

Warnings : Slow-Burn, Language/Violence/typical Walking Dead themes

Author’s Note : Things are getting intense! Let’s see who makes it out of the CDC alive...

xx crossbowking

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Previously…

Shane leaned over the railing, his expression distressed. “Everybody, y’all heard Rick! Get your stuff an’ let’s go! Go now! Go!” he roared, frantically motioning for everyone to start moving.

But the moment Anna turned to run, the opening that led to the hallway was shut by an impenetrable steel door.

Everyone stilled, staring at the now sealed exit, a wave of dread washing over the group.

“Shit,” Anna whispered in horror. “Oh, shit.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now…

“Did you just lock us in?” Glenn’s panicked voice rose above the prolonged silence, the alarm blaring in the background shutting off. “He just locked us in!”

Anna felt a shaky breath escape through her lips as she lowered into a crouch, squeezing her eyes shut. She placed one hand against the cool concrete floor of the control room, fighting for stability amidst the chaos moving around her.

Trapped. They were trapped. They were going to die in this control room. She would never find Ben. She’d never know what happened to him. She’d never see outside of the CDC’s walls again. This was it. All of the suffering, the loss, the pain — all of it had led her to this moment here.

Anna’s eyes shot open when she heard a commotion behind her. She twisted around, coming to an abrupt stand, and spotted Daryl suddenly being restrained by Shane and T-Dog, the archer shouting obscenities at Jenner, who merely sat and watched the scene before him. Anna took a cautious step forward — Daryl’s breakdown and the frenzied look in his eyes forming a pit in her gut like an anchor.

She’d never seen him that way before — and she never wanted to again.

“Jenner, open that door now,” Rick’s authoritative voice broke through the sudden uproar as he rapidly approached the doctor.

“There’s no point. Everything topside is locked down. The emergency exits are sealed,” Jenner explained quickly, seemingly at a loss — like he hadn’t been the one to just lock the doors, like he hadn’t just sealed their fate.

“Well, open the damn thing!” Daryl growled, wriggling his way out of Shane and T-Dog’s grasp, moving to pace furiously back and forth, waving around the bottle of liquor he still held in his hand.

“That’s not something I control — the computers do,” Jenner shook his head. “I told you — once that front door closed, it wouldn’t open again. You heard me say that,” he continued unabashedly, giving Rick a pointed look as the weight of his words settled amongst the group. “It’s better this way.”

“What is?” Rick fired back, glancing up at the dwindling clock on the wall. “What happens in twenty-eight minutes?” he demanded, staring down the doctor. Jenner held the sheriff’s gaze for a moment longer before swiveling in his chair, beginning to quickly type on his computer. Rick looked moments from losing his cool and shot Shane a glance, the two having a silent conversation before Shane slammed his fists down beside the keyboard, attempting to intimidate the man into confessing. “What happens in twenty-eight —”

“You know what this place is!” Jenner suddenly roared over Rick’s interrogation, pushing up from his seat, a slightly wild look in his eye as he addressed the group as a whole. “We protected the public from very nasty stuff — weaponized smallpox, Ebola strains that could wipe out half the country! Stuff you don’t want getting out — ever!” he shouted, expressing more emotion in that single moment than he had since the group had met him.

A tense silence settled over the room, all eyes trained on Jenner, waiting for him to continue, to explain. But the doctor simply took a breath, straightened out his white lab coat, and sat back down in his chair.

When no one spoke, Jenner exhaled, rubbing a hand over his weary face. “In the event of a catastrophic power failure — in a terrorist attack, for example — H.I.T.’s are deployed to prevent any organisms from getting out,” he spoke methodically, his calm demeanor returning.

“H.I.T.’s?” Rick reiterated, his confused expression mirroring the rest of the groups.

Jenner paused, lowering his gaze blankly. “Vi, define.”

“H.I.T.’s — high-impulse thermobaric fuel-air explosives consist of a two-stage aerosol ignition that produces a blast wave of significantly greater power and duration than any other known explosive except nuclear,” Vi’s voice echoed throughout the silent room, her words eliciting cries from several group members as she continued. “The vacuum-pressure effect ignites the oxygen at between five thousand and six thousand degrees and is useful when the greatest loss of life and damage to structures is desired.”

“It sets the air on fire,” Jenner murmured gravely, eyes still lowered. “No pain — an end to sorrow, grief, regret…” he continued before fixing a haunting stare in Rick’s direction. “Everything.”

Anna’s eyes fell on Carol, who held Sophia to her chest, crying softly as she ran a hand through her daughter’s hair. A sharp pain tugged at her heart, followed by a wave of anger. “You can’t do this,” Anna suddenly growled, all eyes falling on her as she stormed up the steps to the main platform, approaching Jenner. “We’ve got kids here, for Christ’s sake. You can’t do this to them!” she protested, glaring down at the doctor.

Jenner simply folded his hands in his lap, glancing up at Anna for a moment before lowering his gaze.

“Look at them,” Anna whispered, pointing towards Sophia, who was now tucked beneath Carol’s arm. When Jenner remained still, Anna huffed a breath and kicked at the leg of his chair, jolting him upright. “Look at them!” she hissed, the doctor’s eyes unwillingly sweeping over to stare at the hysterical mother and daughter. “Look at what you’re doing to them! You don’t get to play God, Jenner. You don’t get to do that!”

“I’m doing what I think is right,” the doctor murmured, his eyes coming back to settle on Anna’s furious expression.

“So taking the lives of innocent children is what you think is right?” she shot back sharply, narrowing her eyes. “How can you live with yourself?”

Jenner’s stare flattened, an expression of peace coming over his face. “I won’t have to much longer,” he murmured softly.

Anna scoffed, shaking her head in disgust as she turned away from the doctor. Her eyes fell on Daryl, who’d been watching the exchange between the two and she sighed, shooting the archer a helpless look. She saw Daryl’s expression twist before he suddenly turned and threw the bottle of liquor in his hands at the steel door, the shards of glass scattering throughout the room. “Open the damn door!” he shouted furiously, his face reddening as he screamed at the doctor.

But once again, Jenner remained silent, emotionless.

“Out of my way!” Shane suddenly roared, barreling past Daryl with an ax in his hand, deciding to try and chop down the steel door. T-Dog threw another ax in Daryl’s direction, who caught it easily and quickly joined Shane at the door.

Anna let out a shaky breath, leaning against one of the many desktops lining the room, apprehensively glancing at the countdown. Carol and Sophia joined Lori and Carl on the floor, mother’s holding their children close as time began to run out. The look of terror in Carl and Sophia’s eyes was enough to make Anna’s blood boil as the reality of the situation began to set in.

Over the pounding and grunting of Daryl and Shane attempting to break down the door, Jenner spoke up. “You should’ve left well enough alone. It would’ve been so much easier,” he murmured softly.

“Easier for who?” Lori fired back, tightening her arms around Carl’s shaking form, eyes wide in disbelief.

“All of you,” Jenner urged calmly. “You know what’s out there — a short, brutal life and an agonizing death,” he continued, slightly incredulously, as if he couldn’t believe the group wasn’t agreeing with the way his mind worked. “Your — your sister,” he pressed, turning to face Andrea. “W-What was her name?”

“Amy,” Andrea spoke quietly, knees pulled against her chest as she regarded the doctor warily.

“Amy…” Jenner hummed thoughtfully. “You know what this does — you’ve seen it,” he then turned to Rick, who’d suddenly approached. “Is that really what you want for your wife and son?”

“I don’t want this,” he shot back, emphasizing each word passionately before turning away, clearly racking his brain for a solution.

Shane appeared beside Rick a moment later, breathing heavily, sweating profusely as he took a moment to rest his forearms on top of a computer. “Can’t make a dent,” he murmured to Rick in between heaving breaths, hanging his head down.

“Those doors are designed to withstand a rocket launcher,” Jenner revealed, shooting down any hope of getting those doors opened manually.

“Well, your head ain’t!” Daryl’s voice suddenly growled and Anna watched as he pushed through the crowd in front of the doctor, ax in hand, raising it above his head.

Several group members jumped into action, working on restraining the archer for the second time, who still fought vehemently against those holding him back.

“Whoa, whoa!”

“Daryl!”

“Back up! Daryl!”

Anna didn’t think — she just moved.

She pushed away from the desktop she leaned against, joining those attempting to keep Daryl away from Jenner. T-Dog managed to rip the ax out of the archer’s hands, Rick and Dale shoving him back harshly. But when Daryl stepped forward once more, shoulders rigid, fists clenched at his sides, Anna stepped in front of him, halting his movements instantly. 

“Get outta my way,” he growled, glaring down at her.

“No,” she shot back resolutely, standing her ground.

Daryl faltered slightly, bouncing back and forth on his toes, looking as though he was going to try and make a move around her. But she leveled him with a firm stare, holding her hand out, fingertips hovering in front of his chest.

“Think about what you’re doing,” she urged quietly, keeping her voice low so only he could hear. “You almost decapitated the only person who knows the code to get out of this fucking room,” she pointed out rationally, raising her eyebrows, imploring Daryl to see reason for a change.

Daryl looked like he was about to argue — but then Anna’s words registered and instead, he scoffed, shaking his head as he turned on his heels and began to pace the length of the platform like a caged animal, his hostile gaze zeroed in on Jenner.

“You do want this,” Jenner suddenly spoke, drawing everyone’s attention once more, until they realized he was speaking to only Rick. “Last night, you said — you knew it was just a matter of time before everybody you loved was dead.”

Anna’s brow furrowed as she glanced at the sheriff, a look of shame flashing across his features before it disappeared. Rick was the apparent leader of this group — and if he was having doubts, if he had no hope…what did that mean for the rest?

“What — ya really said that? After all your ‘big talk’?” Shane voiced, still struggling to catch his breath, but a disbelief to his words that reflected the current state of the group.

“I had ta’ keep hope alive, didn’t I?” Rick managed to explain, eyes trained on Lori’s horrified expression.

“There is no hope — there never was,” Jenner interjected incredulously.

“There’s always hope,” the sheriff fired back immediately, approaching the doctor. “Maybe it won’t be you, maybe not here, but somebody, somewhere —”

“What part of ‘everything is gone’ do you not understand?” Andrea intervened, shooting Rick a pointed look from where she sat.

“Listen to your friend — she gets it. This is what takes us down. This is…our extinction event,” Jenner spoke solemnly, looking deep in thought as he mulled over his own words, the room deflating around him.

“This isn’t right,” Carol suddenly sniffled between sobs. “You can’t just keep us here!”

Jenner leaned forward in his chair, his head tilting to the side as he addressed the distraught mother. “One, tiny moment — a millisecond. No pain —”

“My daughter doesn’t deserve to die like this!” Carol cried out, looking at the doctor desperately, tightening her arms around Sophia’s middle, tears streaking down the young girl’s cheeks.

“Wouldn’t it be kinder? More compassionate?” Jenner offered, trying to persuade the group in accepting the idea of the inevitable. “To just hold your loved ones and wait for the clock to run down?”

Before anyone could respond, the sound of a shotgun cocking echoed throughout the space — and then suddenly, Shane was rapidly approaching the doctor.

“Shane!” Rick shouted, moving to block his friend’s determined steps

“Outta my way, Rick!” Shane roared, shoving the sheriff to the side, pointing the barrel of the gun at Jenner’s head. “Open that door,” he growled, finger twitching over the trigger. “Or I’m gonna blow your head off, do ya hear me?”

“Brother,” Rick stood beside Shane, attempting to talk him off the ledge. “Brother, this is not the way. Ya do this, we will never get out of here,” he hissed.

“Shane, you listen to him…” Lori warned, coming to a stand, shielding Carl behind her.

Anna watched helplessly, Shane’s deranged expression reminding her just how dangerous the man truly was. It was only a matter of time before Shane followed through with his threat — or even worse, someone else got caught in the crossfire. She braced herself, determined to stop Shane, to keep Jenner alive, to keep everyone alive.

But the moment she took a step forward, an arm shot out in front of her, halting her momentum. Anna glanced up, Daryl’s penetrating gaze boring into hers as he kept her at bay, shooting her a subtle but firm shake of the head.

“If he dies, we all die,” Rick urged desperately, trying to get through to his friend. “We all die!”

Shane suddenly let out a deafening roar, swiveling the barrel of the gun to the left and firing at the line of computers. Everyone began ducking for cover as shards of glass and demolished pieces of plastic began flying throughout the room, Shane completely oblivious to the destruction and terror he was causing.

Anna jumped as the man continued firing the shotgun, a piece of scrap computer just narrowly missing her head as it flew by. She suddenly felt Daryl wrap his hand around her wrist, tugging her backward until she stumbled into his solid chest before yanking her to the ground. Her eyes locked with his for a moment, his blue eyes boring into hers, his breath coming out a fraction faster as gunshots continued to blare.

When Anna heard a sudden thump, followed by a moment of silence, she peeked up from behind the desktop Daryl had pulled her behind. Shane was lying flat on his back, Rick standing above him, holding the shotgun. “Are ya done now?” the sheriff snapped, staring down at his friend. “Are ya done?”

“Yeah, I guess we all are,” Shane huffed between breaths, shooting daggers up at Rick from where he had been taken down.

The room was deathly still as everyone who’d taken cover from Shane’s outburst came to a stand. Anna surveyed the group, all eyes suddenly trained on Rick and she felt for the sheriff in that moment — the stress, the pressure of an entire room of people relying on him was a heavy burden to bear. But no matter how badly she wanted to help the man, she couldn’t find the words — what could she possibly say to make this situation okay?

Rick was quiet for a long moment, clearly at a loss. His gaze landed on his family, his wife and son huddled together, their mirrored expressions begging him to do something, anything to persuade Jenner to open the doors. Rick’s eyes lowered, a shaky breath escaping his lips as he turned to face the doctor. “I think you’re lyin’,” he finally murmured.

“What?” Jenner sounded, glancing at the sheriff.

“You’re lyin’,” Rick reiterated fiercely. “About ’no hope’. If that were true, you’d have bolted with the rest or taken the easy way out — ya didn’t. Ya chose the hard path. Why?”

Jenner lowered his gaze. “It doesn’t matter.”

“It does matter,” Rick fired back, crouching down slightly. “It always matters. You stayed when others ran — why?”

“Not because I wanted to,” Jenner articulated carefully, slowly pushing up from his chair and coming to a stand. “I made a promise — to her,” he confessed suddenly, pointing at the big screen ahead. “My wife.”

Anna exhaled heavily, running a hand through her hair as the weight of his words registered. Daryl scoffed from beside her, suddenly turning on his heels, grabbing the two axes propped up against the desk and storming up the ramp that led to the steel door.

She glanced at the ticking clock — six minutes and forty-eight seconds left. That was all the time they had left. She glanced around the room — Andrea and Jacqui sat silently, eyes glazed over. Rick continued to work on Jenner, urging the doctor to find the heart to open the doors. Carol, Sophia, Lori, and Carl watched desperately, holding each other close. Shane’s head was lowered, a white-knuckled grip around the rim of a computer. T-Dog, Dale, and Glenn eyed the dwindling clock, pacing a bit, unable to stand still.

And Daryl — well, Daryl was back at that steel door, his grunts echoing throughout the room as he whacked one of the axes against the impenetrable metal, still trying to break the door down himself.

He wasn’t giving up.

And Anna found strength in that.

If she was going to die, if this was her last moment on Earth, she wasn’t going to just roll over and accept it. She was going to fight.

Before Anna could second guess herself, she marched up the ramp that led to Daryl, the conversation between Jenner and Rick fading as the heavy whacks of the archer’s ax became more forceful. She noticed Daryl still from the corner of her eye when she appeared, but she ignored him, instead grabbing the second ax he’d propped up against the wall and hefting it over her shoulder.

Anna took a deep breath and slammed the blade of the ax against the steel door with all her might, grunting softly. She fell into a rhythm, her heart pounding against her chest, beads of sweat forming on her brow, but she continued nonetheless — the onslaught was enough of a distraction that she no longer heard the steady tick of the clock counting down.

Daryl eventually rejoined, the pair working futilely on a door they knew they couldn’t break down themselves — but it kept them occupied, it gave them purpose…they were doing something.

After a long moment, Anna paused, breathing heavily from the exertion as another thought struck her. If she was going to die, if this was her last moment on Earth, the least she could do was try and make things right. 

It was now or never. 

“Daryl?” she murmured between heaving breaths, turning to look at the archer.

Daryl didn’t respond, instead just continuing to slam his ax against the steel in steady succession.

Anna sighed. “Daryl, look —”

“Save it,” the archer grunted, raising his ax once more and striking it against the door.

Anna faltered, brows furrowed as she wiped the sweat dripping down the side of her face. “But —”

“I said save it,” he growled, shooting her a sharp look. “I don't wanna hear it.”

A wave of frustration washed over Anna and she forced back the biting remark toying at her lips. “Look,” she exhaled heavily, continuing before the archer could interject. “About last night — I…look, I —” she huffed a breath, using the crook of her elbow to wipe away another bead of sweat, mentally kicking herself. Snap out of it, Brooks. Time is running out, a harsh voice nagged at her. “Look, in case we die here, I just wanted to say —”

“We ain’t dyin’,” Daryl immediately fired back, his movements stalling as he finally turned to face Anna, the rest of her sentence trailing off. “Not here, not ‘cause a’ this asshole,” he growled, motioning towards Jenner with the ax. “We ain’t dyin’. So save it,” he bit out — but there was a sensitivity to his words, lacking the harshness he usually embodied. It was almost an understanding — like he knew she needed to get something off her chest but also knew that this was neither the time nor place.

So Anna sealed her lips and nodded once, turning back towards the door, hoping she’d live long enough to continue that conversation.

But just as she raised the ax, building momentum to strike once more, the steel door suddenly opened.

“Oh my God,” Anna exhaled shakily, completely caught off guard as she lowered the ax. “He did it. He actually did it.”

“Come on!” Daryl shouted to the others, waving them forward as he grabbed the second ax from Anna’s loose grip. “We gotta get topside — let’s go!” he urged, nodding her forward quickly as the majority of the group began running up the ramp.

Anna surveyed the room, making sure everyone was accounted for. Her eyes narrowed when she noticed Jenner whispering something in Rick’s ear before Lori dragged him away.

“Hey!” Glenn suddenly yelled from up the ramp, his expression panicked. “We’ve got four minutes left, come on!”

Anna almost turned to leave, but suddenly spotted Jacqui at the bottom of the ramp, resisting T-Dog’s attempt to get her to move, and hurried down the ramp to see what the hold up was.

“— no, I’m staying! I’m staying, sweetie,” Jacqui confessed gently, pulling out of T-Dog’s grip.

“That’s insane!” he protested wildly, taking a step towards her.

“No, it’s completely sane — for the first time in a long time,” she asserted firmly, her eyes wandering over the group members who’d circled around her. “I’m not ending up like Jim and Amy.”

“Jacqui, no —” Anna’s words came out meek as she took a step towards the woman.

“It’s okay, honey,” a sad smile flashed across her face as she looked up at Anna. “I’m ready. I’ve been ready,” she shrugged one shoulder up, wiping away a tear that snaked down her cheek. “This is my choice.”

“Guys!” Glenn shouted once more, bouncing nervously as he motioned towards the dwindling clock.

“There’s no time to argue — and no point. Not if you want to get out. Just get out. Get out!” she urged desperately, giving T-Dog a small push before taking a step back.

Anna forced back the tears threatening to spill down her cheeks and turned around, briefly noticing Andrea still rooted beside Jenner. She almost called out to the woman, but T-Dog suddenly appeared beside her, grabbing her elbow and towing her back up the ramp to rejoin the group.

“Let’s go! Let’s move!” Shane hollered, taking off into a sprint down the hall, the rest of the group right on his heels as they made their way to the staircase.

Anna felt her heart hammering against her chest, unable to think of anything besides getting out and breathing fresh air once more. She spotted the door to the stairwell just ahead and picked up her pace, falling in step next to Glenn, shoulder to shoulder.

Rick, Shane, and Daryl barreled through the door first, followed by T-Dog and Glenn, the men needing to get topside first to start working on the sealed main entrances. 

Anna pushed through the doorway after Glenn, stopping at the bottom of the stairs to make sure the rest of the group caught up. She moved to the side, allowing Lori, Carol, and the kids to hurry up the steps before her. “Come on, come on,” she urged them as they passed, bringing up the rear of the group herself.

But the moment her foot landed on that first step, Anna felt the blood rush from her face and she froze.

Her backpack.

Her backpack was still in her room, sitting on the bed where she’d left it earlier. She didn’t care about losing her clothes or her hammer or the few items she had stowed away in there — it was that picture…that damn picture of her and Ben...that damn note he’d left for her in his apartment. The last remaining memories of her brother were back in that room, moments away from being burnt into nothingness, lost forever…

Anna growled under her breath. “Damn it,” she hissed, the sound of feet trampling up the stairs drowning out her curse as she turned around.

“Anna?” Carol cried out as she twisted to run up the next flight of stairs, ushering Sophia to follow Lori. “What’re you doing? Come on!”

“Just go!” Anna shouted, backing out of the stairwell and into the hall. “I’ll be fine — just go!”

She heard Carol protest, heard her shout her name once more, but there was no time to explain, no time to specify — there was no damn time.

Anna tore through the stairwell doorway and took off into a dead sprint back down the hall, feeling as though she was a rat locked in a maze, her anxiety twisting the halls around her like mirrors in a funhouse. The blood pounding in her ears mimicked the steady tick, tick, ticking of a clock counting down, of precious moments dissipating, of time running out as she struggled to remember which direction her room was in.

It felt as though she’d been running through the halls for hours, days, years…but no — no, that couldn’t be right — because if that were the fact, she’d be nothing but ash.

Or maybe…maybe she was already dead?

Maybe she’d actually died in the facility-wide decontamination, maybe she never made it to her room, instead getting lost in the maze that was the Center for Disease Control, never to be seen again. Maybe she was in hell. Maybe this was her eternity, searching and searching for something she’d never find, something she’d long for but never hold.

Anna could feel the weight of her panic crushing her, tightening her chest, squeezing her insides into knots. The walls were closing in on her — she was sure of it. Every step she took, every turn she made, she sunk deeper and deeper into the concaving floors — the gnarled hands of all the souls who’d taken their own lives down these very halls grabbing at her ankles, slowing her pace, yearning for her to join them…

But then she found it — she found the hallway that just last night her group had settled into, had dared to call home, and she propelled herself forward with reckless abandon, ignoring her protesting lungs, her quivering legs, her entire body screaming at her to stop.

Anna burst open the door to her room, briefly wondering how much time she’d wasted getting lost within the halls of the CDC. Any moment now, that timer would hit zero and that would be the end of it — the end of her, the end of this, the end of everything. She was flirting with disaster over a fucking photograph, over a scribbled note from her missing brother — was that really worth the cost of her life?

She shook the thought away. There was no time to second guess herself now — the decision had already been made. And now she would have to face those consequences head-on.

Anna barreled inside the room, heading straight for where she’d left her backpack, right on top of the trunk at the end of the cot. Swiftly scooping it up, she slung it over her shoulders, feeling a wave of calm wash over her — despite the circumstances — as the pack settled against her back before she sprinted out of the room and back the way she came.

The halls were easier to navigate on the way back to the stairwell — maybe because Anna felt driven by a new sense of resolve, maybe because the weight of her pack and its contents grounded her, or maybe because her mind and body had shut down, simply moving on autopilot, on survival mode.

Whatever reasoning behind her sudden clarity, Anna focused solely on each twist and turn, backtracking the way she’d come.

Moments later, she finally spotted the stairwell entrance and pushed herself towards it, moving as fast as her legs would carry her. She had just shoved open the door when a voice from behind her broke through the air. “Anna!”

She faltered, hand still clenched around the doorknob as she spun around, suddenly spotting Dale and Andrea sprinting down the hall from the control room. A shaky exhale escaped her lips as she frantically waved them forward. “We gotta go!” she cried out, bouncing back and forth on her toes as the pair hurried towards her, their mirrored expressions terrified.

“Go, go, go!” Dale hollered as he urged Andrea ahead of himself, the two tearing through the door Anna held open.

“How much time?” Anna demanded wildly, her panicked voice echoing throughout the stairwell, her lungs feeling as though they were on fire as she bolted up the stairs after them.

“Just…run!” Dale shouted between gasps as he climbed the several flights of stairs as fast as he could manage, giving Andrea a soft push when she slowed.

Anna grit her teeth together, looping her fingers through the straps of her backpack, the added load only weighing her down. But there was no time to stop, no time to readjust, no time to breathe. All she could do was push forward, ignoring the way her muscles burned and twisted, begging for relief she couldn’t provide.

Moments later, light flooded the darkened stairwell as Andrea finally found the entrance to the main floor and shoved the door open. Anna nearly sobbed with relief when she ran into the lobby and noticed one of the glass panes lining the front of the building had been smashed open.

The group had escaped. They’d made it out alive.

And now she could only pray for the same fate.

“Come on!” Dale yelled, waving Anna forward as he grabbed onto Andrea’s elbow, guiding her around the splayed shards of glass and through the shattered opening.

Anna quickly followed, sidestepping a jagged piece of glass still stuck in the window before she jumped out of the building and landed on the outdoor pavement with a huff. Dale and Andrea motioned for her to move, urging her to pick up the pace, as the three began sprinting away from the CDC and into the field of massacred walkers.

A few walkers ambled around, stumbling over fallen corpses, sights zeroed in on the escaping survivors making their getaway. But Anna just kept her head up and stayed focused, running directly behind Dale and Andrea, racing for their lives as the clocked neared its final moments. In the distance, Anna could spot the caravan of vehicles the group had left parked in the street and felt her heart jump to her throat. As they grew nearer, she noticed Daryl — he had pushed open the door to his truck, eyes wide and alarmed, hands cupped over his mouth as he shouted something she couldn’t quite make out.

They were so close, they were right there, they were going to make it…

But then time slowed as Anna felt something snake around her ankle, sending her flying forward and skidding across the pavement. She cried out as the skin on her elbows and knees tore, unable to process anything besides the cold, gnarled hand suddenly gripping her ankle.

Anna flipped onto her back, spotting the walker that had grabbed her frantically clawing its way up her leg, jaws snapping, vying for her flesh. She gnashed her teeth together, attempting to kick the walker off, to slide out of its grasp as she fumbled to reach around the side of her backpack still strapped around her shoulders. In the distance, Anna heard the incessant blaring of a car horn and shouting, but she couldn’t make out the words over the blood pounding in her ears.

Her fingers grazed the head of her hammer stowed away in the side pocket of her pack and quickly grabbed it, yanking it out and raising it above her head, slamming the claw into the skull of the walker latched onto her, its movements instantly stilling. But when she tried to pull the weapon out, it remained embedded in the biter’s brain, the claw buried deep within its flesh.

Anna hissed, struggling to pull herself out from under its weight, her foot caught beneath it. She frantically glanced up at the towering building and then over her shoulder, spotting Dale and Andrea ducking behind a wall of sandbags the military had set up for cover. Dale must’ve then noticed her absence because he shot to his feet, scanning the ground wildly for her. The moment his eyes landed on her struggling form, he attempted to jump back over the protective shield they’d found, but stopped when Andrea grabbed his wrist and yanked him back.

Then suddenly, through the chaos, Anna heard a voice break through the fog her mind had wandered into.

“Down!” a gruff voice shouted from a distance — a voice she knew all too well.

Anna instantly froze, her body moving on pure instinct as she grabbed the walker sprawled over her legs by the cuffs of its shirt and dragged it further up her body, lying flat and wiggling beneath it so that she was fully concealed — a desperate, last-ditch effort to protect herself from the incoming blast.

And then…it happened.

The Center for Disease Control exploded. The deafening boom shook Anna to the very core, the world fading in and out as everything around her became muddled. The ground trembled from the force of the blast and Anna half-expected the pavement split open and swallow her whole. The heat from the explosion washed over her, warming her exposed flesh, her skin tingling as she cowered beneath the biter on top of her. The weight of the dead pressed against her chest and stomach, suffocating her as she fought for air, but she was too afraid and too disoriented to move. The ringing in her ears grew to a resounding roar, muting any other noises around her. Debris from the blast fell from the sky, scattering around her body, a few pieces of the decimated building plummeting onto the walkers back, only adding to the pressure crushing her body.

Anna didn’t know how long she laid there — unable to hear, unable to move, unable to breathe. Her eyes blinked dazedly as she stared up at the sky, her head peeking out from beneath the dead. The world tilted around her, focusing in and out as tendrils of smoke wafted up her nose, beginning to seep through the sky, muting the clear blueness.

Her chest constricted as she wriggled beneath the smothering pressure, her arms and legs refusing to cooperate. The ringing in her ears sharpened and she winced, squeezing her eyes closed.

But then suddenly, the weight on top of her lifted and she gasped for air, sputtering for a moment as she inhaled a wave of smoke. Her eyes cracked open, noticing a shadowy figure hovering above her, blocking the greying sky. Anna blinked wildly, squinting slightly as she attempted to force her vision to focus. The shadow was speaking to her — no, shouting at her — but she couldn’t understand what they were saying, everything around her muffled as though she were underwater.

Before Anna could process what was happening, she was being yanked to her feet.

The moment she was upright, she stumbled forward, crashing into something solid, the world tilting beneath her. Two rough hands grabbed her shoulders, shaking her slightly, and she blearily raised her gaze, coming face to face with a pair of piercing blue eyes.

“Daryl…” she murmured groggily, squinting her eyes, her hands pressed against his chest as she grabbed two fistfuls of his shirt, fighting for solidity.

The archer barked something at her, but she still couldn’t hear anything over the ringing in her ears and instead slowly shook her head. Daryl fixed her with an aggravated stare before he slid an arm around her waist, looping her arm over his shoulders as he began half-dragging, half-carrying her away from the demolished building and roaring fire.

Anna's legs trembled beneath her as she tightened her arm around Daryl, fighting to stay upright. In the distance, she spotted a blurry, shuffling mass and felt a pit settle in her stomach — a herd being drawn in by the explosion. 

Daryl pushed ahead faster.

Black spots suddenly danced in Anna’s vision, her stomach rolling, her body’s aches and pains dulling as her legs began to give out, unable to keep up with the archer’s determined pace. She squeezed her eyes shut, her drooping head lolling against Daryl’s shoulder as the world began to fade.

The last thing Anna felt was the archer sliding his arm up her back, slipping it around her shoulders instead as his other arm cupped behind her kneecaps, swiftly swooping her off the ground.

And then everything went dark.

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A/N : And there we have it, folks! Goodbye Season 1, Hello Season 2!

So, the next few chapters are going to take place during the time after the CDC but before the group finds Hershel’s farm. I’m excited for what’s to come/being able to write a bit of original stuff and not having to follow the show’s preexisting storyline!

Also...next chapter will be from DARYL’S POV. I’m super excited to figure what the hell’s going on in that man’s head. Hopefully, we’ll get some clarity!

QUESTION OF THE WEEK: Do you think Anna was reckless for going back to grab the photo of her and Ben? Would you have made that choice? And how do you think Daryl will react to her decision?

Feedback is INCREDIBLY important. I write for my own happiness, but I also write for YOU. So don’t be afraid to shoot me an ask or message or leave a comment with your thoughts! It truly motivates me and helps move along the writing process. Let’s discuss and be friends!

If you want to be notified when I post again, let me know and I’ll add you to my tag list!

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