#i used to be very explosive

[anthony-crowleys-left-nut]

i feel like i'm definitely something of a loustat love child. my lestat is my struggle with empathy, my lofty morals i don't always stick to, charming when i wanna be, kind of an asshole (sometimes), my vanity, and my desire to be feral. my louis is my brooding and wallowing, my more lowkey side, my constant bitching about being what i am, my self hatred, and my worry about whether i'm a good person.

and they are both my guilt. they both have so much guilt.

and like most vampires do, i carry a deep sense of loneliness and alienation.

none of this makes me sound particularly good does it? ofc that's not all i am. but it's a lot of me.

[sneez]

conrad veidt would make a great tragedian i think

[aalghul]

Thinking about Jason's outward expression of emotions. He tends to only get angry as a response to perceived injustice (the same way Bruce, Dick and most of the others do). But unlike some other characters, Jason rarely every gets wound up in it, nor does he get angry even when he sees injustice if the situation doesn't call for it. Some characters get angry first and then manage their response to whatever's more appropriate, but my interpretation has always been than Jason doesn't need to because he doesn't often begin with the rage. It's not a default, instinctual response for him in most situations. It seems to be that he becomes angry when there is a perpetrator (and specifically, of a crime that hurt people with less power than the perpetrator has, in some way) towards whom he can direct that righteous anger (righteous as in the cause is his drive for justice. I'm not discussing the rightfulness right now). Can he hurt the man who was about to hurt a woman enough that he doesn't dare to try imposing his power over another woman again? Can he do something, anything to stop a serial rapist who has already caused the suicide of at least one woman? But he doesn't possess the sort of blinding anger that could become a driving motivator for his actions outside of someone in front of him to punish. He doesn't need the anger (mostly because he will instead fixate on the crime without rage to fuel him).

The notable exception to this being his behaviour preceding his death (which is explicitly referred to as atypical for Jason by both Bruce and Alfred. The whole reason he's forced to take a break from Robin is because that anger is so unusual for Jason that Bruce and Alfred are worried about Jason's mental wellbeing).

We see in Lost Days that Jason’s default state has become (to the concern of Talia and Ra’s) seemingly unfeeling, and he shows signs of a persistent flat affect throughout Lost Days, with exceptions for when he sees injustice (which is responsive, as compared to the aloofness he uses as a constant state of defence -> see: his and Talia’s conversation after he killed for the first time, Talia being glad that his sense of empathy and justice were able to overcome his general coldness). Jason's aloofness was entirely a conscious defence, but at times he was consciously exercising it (his reaction to Tim in front of Talia vs alone).

We see him cry for himself a few times, which tends to be how Jason first reacts to what hurts him deeply. Then there's his cold hatred for Bruce, which can be taken as anger in the face of heartbreak and perceived betrayal. But that anger never goes very far: Jason couldn't even make himself blow up the batmobile. In the end, it's Jason's belief that he hates Bruce and must make demands of Bruce to force him to redeem himself in Jason's esteem that fuels him. Because Jason wants Bruce to redeem himself, even if it's unlikely that he will.

All throughout Lost Days and UTRH, Jason uses teasing/biting humour in a very Robin manner to direct attention to whatever he pleases, whether that be pulling attention away from vulnerabilities or drawing attention to distortions of the truth. This habit returns to Jason strongly around times when he breaks out of his apathetic state (when he’s killing people who hurt others, pretty much), but the undertones of coldness and derision even with that humour don’t leave. We can see in this habit especially how Jason's become a distortion of who he was as Robin. He's still witty and he still teases people and you can hear the humour in his voice. But now he's using that wit to say cruel things to Batman, deceiving him constantly, and his voice no longer has a youthful kindness to it.

One of the most Helena-esque character traits that Jason’s picked up (in fanon and reboot canon) is anger as an initial defence and reaction, actually. It’s nearly the opposite of Jason’s pre-flashpoint defensive state but is essential to Helena’s. It’s actually not surprising that this happened (even ignoring reboot kicking Jason’s character into a closet and superimposing much of Helena onto him) because of how DC pushed “angry” as Jason’s defining trait, and how fans have believed it for so long. It seems almost natural for a misconception this severe to happen, even in the face of evidence to the contrary, because every action of Jason’s is misconstrued as proof for an angry temperament.

[comfortyart]

Watching the sunrise before patrol! 💖🌅

[kadextra]

I’ve been seeing people say that q!Jaiden was the first to hear/see Cucurucho and was curious to see if that was the case, so I went back in the day one vods and did some math… the results are interesting >:D

I used the wall explosion as the common comparison time between all POVs.

For Jaiden, the explosion was at 1:01:31 in her vod. She heard Cucurucho for the first time at 2:37:18. Doing the math, q!Jaiden heard Cucurucho 1 hour, 35 minutes, and 47 seconds after the wall explosion!

But after checking many vods, there were two people who met Cucurucho before anyone else…

I couldn’t find Max’s vod but I have Bad’s, and the wall explosion for him was at 1:01:01. They both first heard, and then saw Cucurucho together at the same time - 2:10:13 in the vod. After mathing, I found that q!Bad and q!Max were the first to meet Cucurucho at 1 hour, 9 minutes and 12 seconds after the wall explosion. That’s crazy.

Also, a fun fact :0

q!Luzu was the next to meet Cucurucho, he walked over to watch while Bad & Max were filling out their surveys. Afterwards a crowd of people gathered, and Cucurucho started running away. During the chase Luzu was the first to name him “Cucurucho” (2:04:05 in his vod) and the name stuck! :3

[ganondoodle]

so with echoes of wisdom .. i havent watched any of the trailers beyond the very first one and the thumbnails/screenshots and what others have said about it-

but with the world inside the rift being called "Welt des Nichts" aka "world of nothing/void" in german ('still' in english, for some reason) and demises title in french being "avatar of nothing" ... yeah my anxiety is shooting through the roof again

(hopefully you can be a little more forgiving for me being anxious/weird about it bc demise is my blorbo)

i had similar worries with totk, that werent proven true thankfully, but the darn book is making it all worse again with all those weird lore things the game doesnt even so much as hint at AND potential retcons- im in for a really rough time huh, not just stress in real life (more in tags.. its alot) but now about my specific hyperfixation from two things even (AND artblock still..)

weird as it may sound, i dont want demise to get more lore, partly bc i dont believe theyd do anything with him that i would like (given their track record) but much more importantly- the fact that he has this little lore about him is precisely one of the reasons why i fell in love with him, i tend to like characters that are neglected by the narrative, and his story being both so flat and already done meant i can be very creative with what i come up with for him without necessarily contradicting anything in canon (which is ... or was a big point of how i wrote destiny's story and lore, working with canon in a way that reframes it all without straight up ignoring it ... but i suppose i urgently need to let go of that and accept i spend alot of time working things that will go to waste :( ) AND not having to worry that there will be more stuff with him that would massively change not only what im writing but also potentially how i feel about him since the game he was briefly in was the oldest chronologically and ended with his death- i didnt expect them to mess with anything that far back and thought theyd just go forward and leave the timeline behind and wouldnt mess with it again, given how botw seemed to be a sort of 'fresh start' that seemingly regarded the past as the past that needs to rest and that the timeline was finally no longer a discussion if everythings unified through botw and one thing going forward

but i suppose i was very wrong with that .__.

right now the only thing that motivates me still is the left over determination and spite to work on my zelda comic, since i have never gotten this far and really want to get something done for once, but i cant lie that im feeling like i should pause all work on it too to wait and see waht the book and the new game will do .. either to determine if i still have the will to keep working on it after those things are out (my love for tloz has been taking alot of hits lately ..) or if i have to change stuff (mostly bc of my lore problem trying to not ignore it ..)

[feline-evil]

Doing a big page of Nathan screenshot drawovers, here is the wip of one of them in a really really early sketch form; just like a first pass ref sketch from the screenshot.

[starheirxero]

I think Lunara would become worse if someone ever told them that they are the only known Lunar variant to be broken and reset over and over again until they hit their breaking point. I think it'd piss them off so bad like genuinely

[caldrea]

Cal and andre school bathroom stall quickie??🤔🤔

andre after track, who still has some adrenaline, rushing to the stall that he knows cal is waiting for him in.

not even bothering to get his shorts all the way off before spitting into his hand, giving his dick a few strokes. sticking two of his fingers into cal's mouth for him to circle them with his tongue and lube them up, he stuffs them into cal to make sure he's stretched out enough. (obviously he is, what else would he have been doing while waiting for andre).

setting one hand on cal's hipbone to steady himself, andre quickly thrusts into cal with his other hand covering cal's mouth while biting his shoulder to keep quiet.

andre comes, biting harder onto cal's shoulder that is surely going to leave a mark.

after andre recollects himself from his orgasm he turns cal around, lurching forward with a violent kiss. cal takes andre's bottom lip between his teeth hard enough to draw blood, still pent-up from awaiting his orgasm and grinding against andre.

he gasps when andre wraps his hand around his cock, throwing his head back and hitting it against the wall and mewling at the pain. he puts his hand over his mouth to stifle a whimper that andre will definitely mock him for later. but right now, andre wants to kiss him. so he does. he replaces cal's hand with his mouth, and it's intimate; all breaths and small noises, cal's tongue dipping into andre's mouth.

cal thrusts in time to match andre's hand while holding onto the back of his shirt. his hips stuttering before climaxing, cum dripping down andre's hand, his wrist. andre kisses him again as he slows down his hand but not stopping, rubbing his thumb over cal's slit just to hear him make a high-pitched sound into andre's mouth.

cal rests his head on andre's shoulder, breathing heavily, before andre brings his hand to cal's mouth. he pokes his tongue out once, twice, to get a taste of himself, and then he cleans andre's hand, about to swallow it before andre opens his mouth for it to be spit into.

[thatsgonnaleaveamark]

@whumpgifathon - day 9 ↳ explosion

Mortel - 1x02

[attractthecrows]

kicking my feet like a schoolgirl. wouldn't it be fucked up if the Architect found the HoF when they went to the deep roads on their Calling. wouldn't it be fucked up if they fought their way as deep as they could go until they're too blighted and injured to go on and the Architect picked them up on the verge of death and kept them alive and experimented on them with darkspawn & archdemon & his own blood until they're corrupted and immortal like him

[fightwing]

the implication some version of animated teen tita.ns vaguely like ttg exists in comic canon.... i desperately need to know who in dick's life is a die hard show fan and how many times he rants he's 'not like that'

[fusionsprunt]

Hunter what the FUCK-

.

[cakeemoji]

long time no hidadei ... hidan has made out with both of deidara's hand mouths before and said it was the worst thing he had ever experienced (<-secretly into it). deidara has made out with hidan's decapitated head once and said it wasn't as weird as he thought it'd be and then proceeded to sculpt him a body for the fun of it before blowing it up idk

[lastoneout]

me trying to solve a problem in literally any fantasy game

[everypanelofizuku]

Chapter 50 - Kill 'Em Dead