#i used to be very explosive
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i feel like i'm definitely something of a loustat love child. my lestat is my struggle with empathy, my lofty morals i don't always stick to, charming when i wanna be, kind of an asshole (sometimes), my vanity, and my desire to be feral. my louis is my brooding and wallowing, my more lowkey side, my constant bitching about being what i am, my self hatred, and my worry about whether i'm a good person.
and they are both my guilt. they both have so much guilt.
and like most vampires do, i carry a deep sense of loneliness and alienation.
none of this makes me sound particularly good does it? ofc that's not all i am. but it's a lot of me.
#original#this is mainly a personal post but if anyone relates to it then that's cool i guess lol#i keep making personal posts and then deleting them which may happen here lmao#but for now. *gestures vaguely at whole post*#i think the only way i know how to analyze myself is through fictional characters#i should add to this that i am so polite and i contain my assholeness so well lmao#before someone comes at me#i was NOT like that before however#i used to be very explosive#so ya know. growth or something#i am often really offputting by accident though#iwtv#the vampire chronicles#lestat de lioncourt#louis de pointe du lac#amc iwtv
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Saying that the gpda should go care about something important, as if they aren't - for the first time in DECADES - taking a definite stand against the sports governing body publicly for all to see, is something.
This goes beyond the jewellery, the underwear, or even the swearing. And their issue about being told not to wear jewellery and bring told what underwear is more about the fact that they were told by the media, rather than by the governing bodies themselves directly in a meeting where the drivers could share their perspectives.
They publicly called out the FIA President for his hypocrisy and for how he has spoken about the drivers both to their face and behind their backs.
Most importantly, they have publicly expressed their feelings about monetary fines, publicly stated that they have no idea what the FIA does with the money they receive from fining drivers, and called them out for it. There is zero transparency from the FIA in an issue we now know has been raised since at least 2021. What is the FIA hiding? Because there is no reason why the drivers should not be allowed to see where that money goes, or at least no legitimate reason.
#f1#formula 1#formula one#fuck the fia#like we know next to nothing about what was discussed in saudi arabia the year there was explosions seen from the track#but we know even though they didn't want to they were forced to race#they didn't have the power#this time is different#either they know something or they are very very pissed off or both#but come hell or high water they've not come to play#its one thing if that money goes into things like safety or is used in other areas of the sport like young driver academies etc#but given the secrecy from the FIA it probably ain't something good#max verstappen#charles leclerc#sebastian vettel#<- i remembered how many drivers are involved and i love to see it but i do not love to type it lmao so tags will end here#gpda#edit: i was drowning in assignments i say as if I'm no longer drowning in them lmao but I wasn't keeping up as well with f1 news at the time#so please correct me if I'm wrong!#but didn't the drivers only find out there was to even be a ban on swearing when Max was publicly punished for it with no warning?
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Thinking about Jason's outward expression of emotions. He tends to only get angry as a response to perceived injustice (the same way Bruce, Dick and most of the others do). But unlike some other characters, Jason rarely every gets wound up in it, nor does he get angry even when he sees injustice if the situation doesn't call for it. Some characters get angry first and then manage their response to whatever's more appropriate, but my interpretation has always been than Jason doesn't need to because he doesn't often begin with the rage. It's not a default, instinctual response for him in most situations. It seems to be that he becomes angry when there is a perpetrator (and specifically, of a crime that hurt people with less power than the perpetrator has, in some way) towards whom he can direct that righteous anger (righteous as in the cause is his drive for justice. I'm not discussing the rightfulness right now). Can he hurt the man who was about to hurt a woman enough that he doesn't dare to try imposing his power over another woman again? Can he do something, anything to stop a serial rapist who has already caused the suicide of at least one woman? But he doesn't possess the sort of blinding anger that could become a driving motivator for his actions outside of someone in front of him to punish. He doesn't need the anger (mostly because he will instead fixate on the crime without rage to fuel him).
The notable exception to this being his behaviour preceding his death (which is explicitly referred to as atypical for Jason by both Bruce and Alfred. The whole reason he's forced to take a break from Robin is because that anger is so unusual for Jason that Bruce and Alfred are worried about Jason's mental wellbeing).
We see in Lost Days that Jason’s default state has become (to the concern of Talia and Ra’s) seemingly unfeeling, and he shows signs of a persistent flat affect throughout Lost Days, with exceptions for when he sees injustice (which is responsive, as compared to the aloofness he uses as a constant state of defence -> see: his and Talia’s conversation after he killed for the first time, Talia being glad that his sense of empathy and justice were able to overcome his general coldness). Jason's aloofness was entirely a conscious defence, but at times he was consciously exercising it (his reaction to Tim in front of Talia vs alone).
We see him cry for himself a few times, which tends to be how Jason first reacts to what hurts him deeply. Then there's his cold hatred for Bruce, which can be taken as anger in the face of heartbreak and perceived betrayal. But that anger never goes very far: Jason couldn't even make himself blow up the batmobile. In the end, it's Jason's belief that he hates Bruce and must make demands of Bruce to force him to redeem himself in Jason's esteem that fuels him. Because Jason wants Bruce to redeem himself, even if it's unlikely that he will.
All throughout Lost Days and UTRH, Jason uses teasing/biting humour in a very Robin manner to direct attention to whatever he pleases, whether that be pulling attention away from vulnerabilities or drawing attention to distortions of the truth. This habit returns to Jason strongly around times when he breaks out of his apathetic state (when he’s killing people who hurt others, pretty much), but the undertones of coldness and derision even with that humour don’t leave. We can see in this habit especially how Jason's become a distortion of who he was as Robin. He's still witty and he still teases people and you can hear the humour in his voice. But now he's using that wit to say cruel things to Batman, deceiving him constantly, and his voice no longer has a youthful kindness to it.
One of the most Helena-esque character traits that Jason’s picked up (in fanon and reboot canon) is anger as an initial defence and reaction, actually. It’s nearly the opposite of Jason’s pre-flashpoint defensive state but is essential to Helena’s. It’s actually not surprising that this happened (even ignoring reboot kicking Jason’s character into a closet and superimposing much of Helena onto him) because of how DC pushed “angry” as Jason’s defining trait, and how fans have believed it for so long. It seems almost natural for a misconception this severe to happen, even in the face of evidence to the contrary, because every action of Jason’s is misconstrued as proof for an angry temperament.
#if i'm using a very simplified version of various emotions it's because so does fanon and current canon. i've gotta match that i guess#sometimes i feel like i get too annoying about how different jason's anger is from fanon and newer canon bc there's nothing wrong with that#type of anger in a character but that's irrelevant. because jason's not the firey explosive seething 24/7 sort. he's much colder and far#more pathetic actually because he's lamenting not seething. this is essential. he wouldnt have been able to do any of lost days or utrh if#not for this. literally everything would have gone down a lot differently if jason had that kind of anger in him#jason todd
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Watching the sunrise before patrol! 💖🌅
#Im super super self conscious about drawing them in my style#I have a very non-anime style and dhsodhf#IDK I WORRY bc when I used to be on tumblr someone once left a tag saying my style was shit 😩#I HOPE you like it if you see this#bkdk#bakudeku#katsudeku#bakugo katsuki#midoriya izuku#digital painting#art tag#mha#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#僕のヒーローアカデミア#deku#lord explosion murder god dynamight
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sexy himbo jock interpretations of James Tiberius Kirk are silly and do a disservice to the character for a lot of reasons, not least of which is that it fundamentally ignores all the times in canon when Kirk is faced with a scientific discovery or oddity and you can see the effort it takes for him not to clap and skip with excitement. like in ‘the devil in the dark’ when Spock posits that they might be dealing with a silicon based life form and McCoy’s like “but that’s impossible!” and Kirk literally crosses the room to flirt talk excitedly with Spock about the prospect and how it could work! and what it would mean!
What I’m saying is, Kirk’s gotta be smart and a huge dork because how else could he pull a bad autistic bitch like Spock?
#see also:#in arena when the aliens let the enterprise watch Kirk’s fight with the Gorn on that fuckass asteroid#and Spock is like listing the elements present that Kirk could use to build a weapon or make an explosion or whatever#but Kirk can’t hear him! because he’s on a fuckass asteroid#but he still turns around and does exactly what Spock was describing because he’s ALSO SMART AND CAPABLE AND GOOD AT SCIENCE#and like! you just know Spock was like….barely containing his lust in that moment#like your bestie your life partner your other half is out there showing why you’re soooo drift compatible#while also being good at science (your favorite thing)???#I wouldn’t be normal about it either#(I’m very clearly not normal about it anyway)#like you know they’re excitedly sharing science journal articles in their free time because they’re dweebs!! they’re dorks!!#the greatest trick this show pulls off is making you think Kirk and Spock are opposites#when in fact their whole thing is ‘how differently can two people be raised and move through life and still be the epitome of#whatever souls are made of his and mine are the same’#I’m sorry I had a smarter more coherent Star Trek post I was trying to write but I’m not feeling coherent at all#so you get this instead#Star Trek#star trek tos#tos#I’m still in season one so no one correct me if they swerve super hard and never let Kirk be smart ever again after that#let me have this
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Low-key wanna wrote a DnD-based fantasy fic specifically because I think Piper deserves to cast Vicious Mockery
#i havepre ideas about this but bard!Piper lives in my head rent-free#leo is a wild magic sorcerer who doesn't use magic because half the time it ends in an explosion so he's an artificer. that also explodes#jason is this big very polite guy who everyone thinks is a paladin but then he gets in a fight and SURPRISE! Barbarian time!#writing rambles
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kicking my feet like a schoolgirl. wouldn't it be fucked up if the Architect found the HoF when they went to the deep roads on their Calling. wouldn't it be fucked up if they fought their way as deep as they could go until they're too blighted and injured to go on and the Architect picked them up on the verge of death and kept them alive and experimented on them with darkspawn & archdemon & his own blood until they're corrupted and immortal like him
#dragon age#dragon age awakening#the architect#hero of ferelden#wouldn't it be fucked up if they were also a mage so now you have a mad corrupted blighted hero with obscene amounts of power#i see the architect in his lab with amell laid out on the table using blood magic to keep the lungs and heart pumping#slooowly taking some of their blood and replacing it with his own (amells blood will be used to 'free' more darkspawn)#so very carefully like he's sewing with spider silk#their skin has gone grey and mottled. red tendrils snaking out from the mouth where the skin has split from old injuries#tattoo black#nails cracked and jagged#and they JOLT in place. then LURCH forward. and twitch again. the architect pulls them to a standing position#their voice dry and cracked they ask 'where...'#'the Deep Roads' 'who...' 'you are the Commander. I am the Architect.' 'when...' '[years later]'#and the amell-thing coughs some blood from its lungs. sloowly raises an arm. and an explosion of magic sends the architect flying
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I think Lunara would become worse if someone ever told them that they are the only known Lunar variant to be broken and reset over and over again until they hit their breaking point. I think it'd piss them off so bad like genuinely
#xero says things#LIKE.#i was just imagining Lunara being like#'ah well yk with the resets and all that yada yada'#and Lunar n Lord Lunar are like 'woah woah wait. what are you talking about?'#and Lunara's like 'the... the resets. you had an eclipse too. he reset us. a lot.'#and there's just a very slow realization upon Everyone and Lunar just very quietly tells them that they were never reset by their Eclipse#and how explosive Lunara would be about that later. I cannot imagine a reaction that is anything less than screaming and lashing out at stuf#yk.#tsams#evil lunar#sams lunar#tlaes
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I’ve been seeing people say that q!Jaiden was the first to hear/see Cucurucho and was curious to see if that was the case, so I went back in the day one vods and did some math… the results are interesting >:D
I used the wall explosion as the common comparison time between all POVs.
For Jaiden, the explosion was at 1:01:31 in her vod. She heard Cucurucho for the first time at 2:37:18. Doing the math, q!Jaiden heard Cucurucho 1 hour, 35 minutes, and 47 seconds after the wall explosion!
But after checking many vods, there were two people who met Cucurucho before anyone else…
I couldn’t find Max’s vod but I have Bad’s, and the wall explosion for him was at 1:01:01. They both first heard, and then saw Cucurucho together at the same time - 2:10:13 in the vod. After mathing, I found that q!Bad and q!Max were the first to meet Cucurucho at 1 hour, 9 minutes and 12 seconds after the wall explosion. That’s crazy.
Also, a fun fact :0
q!Luzu was the next to meet Cucurucho, he walked over to watch while Bad & Max were filling out their surveys. Afterwards a crowd of people gathered, and Cucurucho started running away. During the chase Luzu was the first to name him “Cucurucho” (2:04:05 in his vod) and the name stuck! :3
#qsmp#qsmp cucurucho#qsmp jaiden#qsmp maximus#qsmp badboyhalo#qsmp luzu#theoryduo was actually meant to be#and it’s crazy that cucurucho as a name stuck around since the very start#it was a tossup whether I used the wall explosion or the power turning back on as the starting point#but they literally both happened within a minute of each other#the wall was the slightly later one so I picked that 👍
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so with echoes of wisdom .. i havent watched any of the trailers beyond the very first one and the thumbnails/screenshots and what others have said about it-
but with the world inside the rift being called "Welt des Nichts" aka "world of nothing/void" in german ('still' in english, for some reason) and demises title in french being "avatar of nothing" ... yeah my anxiety is shooting through the roof again
(hopefully you can be a little more forgiving for me being anxious/weird about it bc demise is my blorbo)
i had similar worries with totk, that werent proven true thankfully, but the darn book is making it all worse again with all those weird lore things the game doesnt even so much as hint at AND potential retcons- im in for a really rough time huh, not just stress in real life (more in tags.. its alot) but now about my specific hyperfixation from two things even (AND artblock still..)
weird as it may sound, i dont want demise to get more lore, partly bc i dont believe theyd do anything with him that i would like (given their track record) but much more importantly- the fact that he has this little lore about him is precisely one of the reasons why i fell in love with him, i tend to like characters that are neglected by the narrative, and his story being both so flat and already done meant i can be very creative with what i come up with for him without necessarily contradicting anything in canon (which is ... or was a big point of how i wrote destiny's story and lore, working with canon in a way that reframes it all without straight up ignoring it ... but i suppose i urgently need to let go of that and accept i spend alot of time working things that will go to waste :( ) AND not having to worry that there will be more stuff with him that would massively change not only what im writing but also potentially how i feel about him since the game he was briefly in was the oldest chronologically and ended with his death- i didnt expect them to mess with anything that far back and thought theyd just go forward and leave the timeline behind and wouldnt mess with it again, given how botw seemed to be a sort of 'fresh start' that seemingly regarded the past as the past that needs to rest and that the timeline was finally no longer a discussion if everythings unified through botw and one thing going forward
but i suppose i was very wrong with that .__.
right now the only thing that motivates me still is the left over determination and spite to work on my zelda comic, since i have never gotten this far and really want to get something done for once, but i cant lie that im feeling like i should pause all work on it too to wait and see waht the book and the new game will do .. either to determine if i still have the will to keep working on it after those things are out (my love for tloz has been taking alot of hits lately ..) or if i have to change stuff (mostly bc of my lore problem trying to not ignore it ..)
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#ganondoodles rants#sorta#suicide attempt mention in the IRL stuff im talking about in the following tags btw#theres some construction stuff on our house going on#and my father is extremely stressed about it#he used to be very explosive- being silent and then exploding out of nowhere .. probably left me with lasting damage yippie-#but now he much more lets it eat at himself bc hes old and feels bad for the past stuff so now it makes him irritated and depressed#my older brother is the most normal cis straight guy you can imagine and incredibly impatient and bossy (you CANNOT talk with him)#(brother doesnt live in our house)#and while hes helping out hes doing it exactly how my father doesnt like and since you cant talk to the guy (explosive +200) it stresses hi#to the point of my father yesterday saying that “it would have been better if i had just died back in the day”#likely referring to the time when he was drafted for the military against his will and tried to kill himself#which i learned only like .. a year ago- theres so little my parents tell me ....#its like my mother telling me- while my father was in hospital for heart surgery- that she not only almost died back when i was a young tee#and only survived bc of some incredibly unebelievable lucky coincidences (medics on a travel being there that knew what she had-#-while our local doctors said welp- nothing we can do lady AND them beign there with a helicopter and emergency transferring her#to antoher bigger hospital while giving her immediate treatment our local one didnt do- AND at the big one just so happened to have-#-an expert on that illness in the facility when she arrived who was able to narrrowly save her life#BUT ALSO while she was recovering and weak and frail as a dust bunny witnessing someone stealing hospital surplies-#not noticing she was in the room at first (which .. the nurses left her in the nurse room while going on break ... which uhm .. yeah cool)#and if my mother hadnt acted in time like she was fully asleep and the lady stealing stuff beign in hurry- she might have killed her#without my mother being able to fight back bc she could barely even talk (the nurses didnt want to believe her when they got back either)#ANYWAY that comment from my father brough me to tears#and my mom is trying out more ... other medication shes not prescribed in hopes of it helping agaisnt her many pains#but i worry it will interact with the other stuff shes on ...#and i worry so much about both of their mental and physical well being#always trying to be the one to calm them down or help with communication bc that is a big problem in this houesehold#but i myself am also a very much not normal and not medicated shut in who has trouble dealing even with my own feelings
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we got to go to fun! billiards and gameroom superstore today! such a well-kept stage, and we got to see a handful of really cool (and rare!) segments :D I'll post the rest of my footage later today on my second channel :]
#juno.txt#juno.irl#rae#rock afire explosion#rockafire explosion#showbiz pizza#billy bob brockali#looney bird#such a refreshing looking stage after only seeing bbwl lol#i do like bbwl but their billy and looney masks have been Rough for a while now#the guy who worked there was super cool and gave us a mini tour of the rest of the store too#including where they refurbish old arcade games to sell#very cool store very cool experience! im rly glad i was able to finally visit#next stop volo lol. or maybe smitty's whatever comes first
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Doing a big page of Nathan screenshot drawovers, here is the wip of one of them in a really really early sketch form; just like a first pass ref sketch from the screenshot.
#metalocalypse#nathan explosion#my art#low quality bc i just screen shotted my drawing software lol but thats ok its a wip#and yeah we r still in left handed mode still not using my right hand. ITS HARD WORK OUT HERE FOLKS ILL TELL YA THAT MUCH#in this stage my sketches r very heavily reffed but i do still try and make sure im adapting them into#my style and not doing a one to one. bc i like having fun w this even if its hard w this hand#u can see the next one ive started trying 2 find the shapes of in the corner lol yeag its an aotd aortid desecration scene night
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Cal and andre school bathroom stall quickie??🤔🤔
andre after track, who still has some adrenaline, rushing to the stall that he knows cal is waiting for him in.
not even bothering to get his shorts all the way off before spitting into his hand, giving his dick a few strokes. sticking two of his fingers into cal's mouth for him to circle them with his tongue and lube them up, he stuffs them into cal to make sure he's stretched out enough. (obviously he is, what else would he have been doing while waiting for andre).
setting one hand on cal's hipbone to steady himself, andre quickly thrusts into cal with his other hand covering cal's mouth while biting his shoulder to keep quiet.
andre comes, biting harder onto cal's shoulder that is surely going to leave a mark.
after andre recollects himself from his orgasm he turns cal around, lurching forward with a violent kiss. cal takes andre's bottom lip between his teeth hard enough to draw blood, still pent-up from awaiting his orgasm and grinding against andre.
he gasps when andre wraps his hand around his cock, throwing his head back and hitting it against the wall and mewling at the pain. he puts his hand over his mouth to stifle a whimper that andre will definitely mock him for later. but right now, andre wants to kiss him. so he does. he replaces cal's hand with his mouth, and it's intimate; all breaths and small noises, cal's tongue dipping into andre's mouth.
cal thrusts in time to match andre's hand while holding onto the back of his shirt. his hips stuttering before climaxing, cum dripping down andre's hand, his wrist. andre kisses him again as he slows down his hand but not stopping, rubbing his thumb over cal's slit just to hear him make a high-pitched sound into andre's mouth.
cal rests his head on andre's shoulder, breathing heavily, before andre brings his hand to cal's mouth. he pokes his tongue out once, twice, to get a taste of himself, and then he cleans andre's hand, about to swallow it before andre opens his mouth for it to be spit into.
#someone knocked on the door after and andre had to lie and say that he had explosive diarrhea so no one would want to use the stall#and so that they could *stall* until everyone else left (pun is intended)#asks#caldre ramblings#zero day#andre kriegman#cal gabriel#caldre#i wish writing this was as quick as the quickie but i get distracted so easily#i kept switching from adding a few words to playing my mobile game that im currently obsessed with#i feel like the ending is very abrupt but i actually really like to sleep and would like to do it shortly#go easy. please. im mildly high and sleepy and smut is not my strong suit
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@whumpgifathon - day 9 ↳ explosion
Mortel - 1x02
#whump#whump gifs#whumpedit#whumpgifathon#gifs#my gifs#fire#explosion#supported walk#flashing#eyestrain#mortel#1x02#sofiane kada#victor wanderwelt#this show is fun i really enjoyed it#french teenagers and supernatural powers and cults what could be better#its these two guys with powers and they have a bond so one using the power hurts the other its a very fun concept#also european shows kinda hit different#us shows are like idk they feel fake to me bc i dont have those experiences or culture#uk shows get closer and french and german stuff feels like real (without the superpowers lol)#like these are kids from my neighborhood
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the implication some version of animated teen tita.ns vaguely like ttg exists in comic canon.... i desperately need to know who in dick's life is a die hard show fan and how many times he rants he's 'not like that'
#the titan.s: is this fucking play about us??? like do they ever watch it did they sign off rights so many questions.#especially tt/g rob.in. i find him very amusing. silly little man. i want ten of them.#titans spoilers#tuesday spoilers#comic spoilers#interesting they'd make dick infected so quickly either that was (monologue incoming) apart of his plan all along#or babs is gonna lead the plan#i hate titan.s fighting titan.s but man do i love a good 'this isnt you' plot#like having to fight but you cant hurt the other because youre trying to save them UGH okay fine youve caught my interest current tita.n ru#also i know this art style has never missed but dick and gar.th are too handsome. like im not fighting you two whatever you say handsome#also also MOST IMPORTANT MERRY KORY CONTENT TUESDAY#very upset she yet again has to relive trauma but the panel of kory and donna hugging in the explosion will help me last the winter <3#* i'd love to write but it's just not realistic / ooc.
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Hunter what the FUCK-
.
#love this because it's the following reaction to the last ask#this is funny considering 72.7% of 44 people who interacted with the poll considered Hunter worthy of forgiveness. which is around 31 votes#tbf forgiving is one thing but moving on is very different#someone commented on the post saying they would forgive Hunter but would struggle to continue friends/acquaintances with him#and honestly? that's absolutely fair. but yeah you can guess Bee's reaction to the truth wasn't the best one#Hunter is used to her explosive reactions so he kinda expected her to lash out#but worse than that he was met with an utter and deadly silence. B2 never made it clear whether or not she forgave him#on one side all those years of hardwork and friendship sounded like a lie and she struggled to process the weight of it all#on the other side she wasn't the only person affected by his past actions and that infuriated her even more.#a whole civilization was nearly annihilated by Bee's kind - all because Gideon decided to send 'em off to war#the same civilization he's infiltrated under the disguise of a 'rebellious android'#the same civilization they spent years trying to rescue and save. the same civilization she considered family. the closest thing to home#------ now to a more inconsistent and unexplored side of this story...#There's a Certain Event that takes place after this and is very heartbreaking. however I'm not entirely sure if Hunter's told the truth-#-before or after the final conflicts of the story were over#i like to think he waited until the very end to talk to Bee. presuming it was safe enough to do so#It's likely Bee was so hurt and angry that she promised to go back to her Real Home (to her orbit as a comet) and never look back#and that's when- oh boy i talked too much in the tags again!#oh gee! so sorry for rambling#i'll stop here :]#the continuation to this can be found in an illustration i'm working on!! stay tuned!!!!#ok byeee#inbox#fusionsprunt
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