#i used to accept it and try to find good in it
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I had a friend over this week and even though the weather wasn't ideal, we decided we were going to go for a long walk in the surrounding woods with all three llamas. Since Pampelune is the uncontested chief, you just need to halter her and her herd follows wherever she goes. Sometimes we emerged from the woods into a pasture and Pampérigouste started galloping like mad (followed by her daughter & her abandonment issues), but then Pampy would object with some firm hums and the other two returned, chastened.
We'd brought a head of cabbage and we gave her a few leaves every time she successfully used her matriarch authority to re-gather our little group around her, even though she'd do it for free, because it's so nice to be able to go on walks with only one haltered llama and watch the younger ones frolic and explore the world as we go. Pampy seemed happy to walk with us at a steadier pace and to trade freedom for cabbage.
We'd initially planned to stay on my side of the torrent, but after meandering downhill for a long time we unexpectedly found an old bridge I didn't know existed, and it looked very inviting, so we crossed. (Ominous chords.) Then we enthusiastically went up hoping we'd see my house from the opposite hill—and we did, here it is :)
And then we went back into the woods, and got lost. Of course. I really think my friend carries some sort of curse because I don't usually get lost in nature but the last time we went on a great hike we also found ourselves completely disoriented in a featureless snowy plain, trying to glimpse the sun behind clouds and debating whether finding the North would help us in any way.
This time we were quicker to admit we were lost, and I said we could either go uphill, and we'd find the road eventually and the nearest milestone would tell us where we are (or we'd reach a farm on the plateau), or go downhill, and we'd find the stream eventually and cross it and then we'd be in a part of the woods I'd recognise. Probably.
Drawback of going uphill: it's technically the wrong direction, so the way home will be that much longer (and night falls at 5pm)
Drawback of going downhill: we'll have to cross the water at some point. Without a bridge. It would take a miracle to find that bridge again, supposing it was a real bridge and not a fae illusion to lead us astray.
After debating for a bit we decided to go downhill, because we were hopeful that we'd find a shallow spot to cross the stream, and also we feared that at nightfall the llamas might just lie down and decide to spend the night right here, in the woods. It's hard to make a llama get up again once she's decided that enough things happened for today.
The question of whether the llamas would accept to cross a mountain stream with us was left undebated—though we did regret having spent our cabbage too lavishly and too soon.
But we followed a rivulet downhill and Pampe crossed it repeatedly, with merry and graceful mountain goat jumps, which made us feel comforted in our decision.
Then we got to a point where the water became visible, and very noisy, and Pampelune started to feel suspicious. She made worried hums and walked more reluctantly and (having squandered our cabbage) we had to cajole her into compliance.
I love that my friend captured the moment when I crouched down and started straight-up lying to my llama.
Poldine was the last one to realise something was afoot, because she is young and trusting.
Once she did, she also became a bit reluctant (she wanted to go uphill again), and more than once my friend had to open her cloak-like coat in order to look like a bat and persuade Poldine that nothing good was happening in that direction.
We found a spot where the water was pretty shallow and decided to cross. The air temperature was maybe 1°c and the water felt like it was minus twelve so my friend wasn't exactly happy about the series of decisions that had led us to this point. I pointed out that last time in that snowy plain there was this piercing relentless evil wind howling in our ears and making unsettling voice-like sounds when it blew through holes in fences (to help her relativise) and she was like, when did this day go from singing walking songs and watching Pampe gambol in pastures to "at least this time we aren't being driven mad by ghostly wind."
I told her that things that go wrong become the most vivid and fun memories in the long term and we debated this postulate for a bit and I felt like I had successfully distracted her from our plight, until she put her foot in the water and said she wished she were in the metro in Paris right now. In Châtelet even. I said "but in two days you'll be in the Paris metro wishing you were here trying to cross a cold mountain stream with three appalled llamas!" and she said yes. Still, the situation is dire when a Parisian says she would rather be in Châtelet.
Pampe actually followed us quite quickly! I'm pointing this out because I'm always talking about how contrary Pampérigouste is, but she was so great about crossing the stream, even humming to her daughter as if to encourage her. I suppose she was telling Poldine that when they make their final escape and become wild llamas they'll probably have to cross mountain streams now and then.
Poldine panicked a bit once everyone was on the other side of the water except her, and although I'd already wrung out my socks I was psychologically preparing myself to cross the ice-cold water again and go get her—but after walking up and down the other bank desperately looking for an invisible bridge, she resentfully crossed.
Then we went uphill again and eventually found our way to my neighbour's pasture! I immediately recognised the old tree in the middle and I was very happy to see it. My friend was holding Pampy and I had climbed ahead to act as a scout, and I cried out to share my discovery feeling like Vasco de Gama. It was snowing just a tiny bit, and getting darker, and I think everyone (including Pirlouit, languishing alone in his pasture) had started to privately wonder if we were going to spend the night in the woods.
One interesting activity we did when we went home was testing the various objects that live on or near my fireplace to see which ones are heavy and stable enough to hang very wet socks. We tried the wistful wooden shepherd, the porcelain fox, the music box shaped like a pile of books, the vase, and found that the only reliable spots in my living-room to dry your socks are under Sherlock Holmes and under Marie-Antoinette so we agreed on a fair sock-drying rotation. The living-room smelled of wet wool (or wet llama) all evening, but we had a glass of champagne to celebrate the fact that we weren't currently trying to fight hypothermia by curling up between two llamas in some frosty meadow, and we felt pleased with our adventure, all things considered.
We realised a bit late that we had been in such a hurry to go home and warm up we'd neglected to reward our hiking companions, so we very bravely put on new socks and went out in the night to look for the llamas with our phone lights and distribute some muesli. Pirlouit was included in the distribution because he definitely would have crossed the stream with us had he been invited (and told his hay was on the other side.) Also we got a kiss from Poldine so I think she replayed the day's events in her head and came to the conclusion that her mother was, somehow, as always, to blame for all this.
#crawling along#we had to sneak under fences a few times to enter and leave pastures and pampe#was positively scandalised by the idea let me tell you#the other two squeezed through the gaps that we pointed them to without a fuss#while pampe stood on the other side like ''sneak through a fence?? why I never''
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What's ours || Rafe Cameron x fem!reader
Summary: canon fic based off this scene in s4 ep6!!!!
Warnings: angst!!!
Word count: 2, 458
A/n: HAD to write abt this scene
MASTERLIST
divider by @h-aewo
"Rafey?" your voice rings out as you step out of the shared bedroom, the soft sound of your bare feet padding against the wooden floor. "'M out here on the porch," his voice calls back, low and calm, carrying just a hint of warmth. A smile spreads across your lips as you pick up your pace, excitement bubbling in your chest. Sliding the glass door, you step onto the porch, the late afternoon sunlight casting a golden glow across everything it touches.
There he is, lounging casually on the couch, his polo clinging to his broad shoulders and biceps in a way that makes your stomach flutter. "Hey, baby," Rafe greets, his smile wide and genuine, the kind that always has a way of making you feel like the most important person in the room. "Hey," you murmur, your eyes locking with his. You pause for a moment, giving him the chance to drink in the sight of you.
With a playful glint in your eye, you do a small twirl, letting the flow of your new dress spin out around you, the fabric catching the evening light. You watch Rafe’s reaction carefully, feeling a thrill at how his gaze moves down your figure. "What do you think?" You ask, the words soft but full of a quiet confidence. "It looks good," Rafe says after a beat, his eyes lingering on you for a fraction longer than you expect.
There’s a lazy grin tugging at the corners of his lips, and when he leans back against the cushions of the couch, his eyes never leave you. "You look good," he adds, his voice deeper now, like the words are heavy with more than just praise. You beam at his words, crossing the porch to close the distance between you. "Where you going lookin’ all pretty?" he teases, spreading his legs slightly as he pats his thighs, his grin turning sly.
The gesture is an open invitation, and you happily accept, settling onto his lap. Your arm slides naturally around his shoulders, and his hands find their place on your knee, the warmth of his touch grounding you. "Just shopping with the girls," you explain, playing with the collar of his shirt absentmindedly. "There's this new boutique that just opened up—" You’re cut off by the sound of the front door creaking open and a hesitant voice calling out, "Hello?"
Your brows furrow as you glance at Rafe. "Were you expecting someone?" you ask, your voice laced with curiosity. Rafe exhales a sharp breath, "Yeah," he admits nonchalantly. "Sarah." Your surprise is instant, and your voice reflects it. "Sarah? She agreed to meet up with you?" He chuckles, the sound warm and a little cynical. "Yeah, well… desperate times call for desperate measures, I guess." Before you can process his words, Sarah’s footsteps sound on the porch, slow but deliberate.
Your eyes shift to the doorway, and soon enough, her figure appears. She glances at you briefly as you move to sit beside Rafe, her gaze cool but not unfriendly, before turning her attention to Rafe. "Hey," he greets her with exaggerated enthusiasm, clapping his hands together with theatrical flair. "Thanks for showing up. Good work." Sarah doesn’t miss a beat, rolling her eyes as if she’s heard this act too many times. "Please, stop," she says flatly.
Rafe grins even wider, running a hand through his buzzed hair, clearly enjoying the reaction. You shift slightly, about to stand to give them space, but Rafe’s hand tightens gently on your waist, silently urging you to stay. "I don’t want to argue, Rafe," Sarah sighs, crossing her arms as she looks at him. Her tone is exasperated, but there’s something softer beneath it. "We already have enough people against us."
An awkward silence settles over the porch, the only sound being the occasional chirping of birds in the trees. The air grows heavy with the weight of unspoken things, a tension that seems to hum between them. You clear your throat, trying to ease the tension. "Can I get you something to drink? Iced tea, maybe?" you offer, your voice polite, even as your eyes flicker between Sarah and Rafe, sensing the undercurrent of frustration.
Sarah’s eyes meet yours, her gaze flicking over the space with an almost detached interest before she shakes her head. "No, thanks. I don’t plan on staying long." You nod, the smile on your lips soft but understanding. There’s something about the way she holds herself—tired, wary—that makes you feel a strange sense of empathy. It’s clear she’s not here for pleasantries.
"Kiara mentioned…" Sarah starts, her voice uncertain as she scans the porch, her eyes flitting from the furniture to the surroundings, clearly uncomfortable. "That you might be able to help." She directs the latter half of her sentence at Rafe, her gaze lingering on him, but there’s a hesitation in her tone, a quiet pleading buried beneath the words. Rafe pulls at the sleeve of his polo, his fingers tugging at the fabric.
He doesn’t look up immediately but instead turns his attention to the ground in front of him, gathering his thoughts. "Uh, no. No, not with the land stuff. You guys are on your own with that," he responds firmly, his gaze briefly flicking up to meet Sarah's. There's an almost apologetic edge to his words, but it's clear that he's drawing a hard line in the sand. Sarah’s expression falls, disappointment flashing across her face, her shoulders sagging slightly as if the weight of unspoken words is pulling her down.
"Right," she mutters softly, the edge of frustration in her voice barely concealed. She pauses, taking a breath before looking back at Rafe. "Sorry," Rafe adds, his voice quieter, almost regretful, but the frustration is still evident. "But…" He hesitates, his gaze dropping to the papers scattered across the table before him, the flicker of something heavier passing through his eyes.
"But there's… there's something else I wanted to talk to you about," he says, his tone shifting. It’s not just business now—there’s a vulnerability that creeps in, something raw beneath the surface. You watch him, your eyes tracing the subtle movements of his hand as he runs his fingers across his lips, trying to gather the right words. You stay silent, your own gaze fixed on his profile, your heart picking up pace as you sense the shift in the air.
This is no longer just a casual conversation—it feels more like a breaking point, something much deeper. "So when…" Rafe starts, his voice faltering slightly, the words coming out with an almost painful deliberation. He takes a moment, his eyes lingering on the papers again, then he looks down at your left hand resting on his shoulder, his gaze momentarily softening when it lands on the ring you wear—the one his mother gave him.
"Dad died," he finally says, the words coming out like a slow exhale, as if speaking them is harder than he’d like to admit. You feel the change in his tone immediately, the sadness in his voice gripping you, and you instinctively start rubbing gentle circles on his shoulder with your thumb, your mind connecting the dots, knowing how touchy the subject of Ward’s death always is for Rafe.
"...the first time," Rafe adds, his voice quiet, as though even acknowledging that death was not the final one is too painful to process fully. "um, he said I got a quarter of what he had," Rafe continues, his voice distant now, lost in the past as he leans forward, flicking through the papers with a focus that feels almost obsessive. "Yeah, he said I got a quarter too," Sarah chimes in, nodding slowly.
There’s something tired in her voice, a recognition of the weight of their father’s legacy that neither of them ever truly asked for. "But you didn’t get it, did you?" Rafe’s words are sharp, his gaze intense as it locks onto Sarah. There’s a challenge in his eyes, a quiet demand for the truth. Sarah hesitates for a moment, the silence stretching longer than it should. You can see her thinking, weighing her words carefully before answering.
"No," Sarah says finally, her voice quiet but firm. "Yeah, well, good luck trying to get that from Rose's greedy paws," Rafe scoffs, the bitterness dripping from his words. "She's got that money locked down tight." Sarah’s brows knit together, "well, I keep trying to call," she retorts, her tone sharp. "She won’t even let me talk to Wheezie." She crosses her arms, her gaze flickering away as if saying it out loud makes the situation even more real.
Rafe leans forward, his elbows digging into his knees as his expression hardens. "Yes, yes, that’s what I’m saying," he says, his voice rising slightly. He locks eyes with Sarah, a fiery determination in his blue gaze. "We’re a family, and I’m not—" He cuts himself off, inhaling deeply as he shakes his head. "I’m not even allowed to talk to my own sister? That’s not fair, Sarah. You know that."
Sarah’s jaw tightens, and she slowly nods, her lips pressed together as she looks down. "And then Rose," Rafe continues, his arm gesturing wide as his frustration boils over. "She just gets to keep all that gold for herself? What gives her the right? That’s not what Dad intended." His fist slams into the wooden coffee table with a resounding thud, causing Sarah to flinch in her seat. The tension spikes in the air, and you instinctively place your hand on his shoulder, your touch firm yet gentle, hoping to ground him.
"That’s not what Dad wanted," Rafe repeats, his voice cracking slightly as he pounds the table again. Sarah visibly recoils this time, her discomfort palpable. "And it pisses me off!" Rafe’s voice rises, his anger spilling out unchecked. But before his hand can connect with the table a third time, you reach forward and grab it, your fingers curling around his. "Rafe," you say softly, your voice calm but firm. His eyes dart to you, and for a moment, the fire in them dims.
He exhales sharply, leaning back slightly as he glances at Sarah, who keeps her gaze down, avoiding his. "That’s our money, okay?" Rafe insists, his tone quieter but still edged with frustration. Sarah lets out a shaky exhale, her hands fidgeting in her lap as Rafe sighs heavily, running a hand over his buzzed hair. The silence stretches, heavy and uncomfortable, until you place your palm on Rafe’s thigh, your thumb brushing soothingly against the fabric of his shorts.
He glances at you, and you offer him a small, reassuring smile. He manages a faint one in return before looking back at Sarah. "I don’t know about you, but I really—I need that money," Rafe admits, his voice tinged with vulnerability. Sarah’s gaze snaps to him, her expression hardening. "And what about the gold cross you stole?" she counters, her tone sharp and accusatory.
"It was gold-plated," Rafe shoots back with a shrug, rubbing his eyes as if the conversation is draining him. "It was a good score. It’s not endless. It’s not like the Merchant gold, so..." His voice trails off, exhaustion creeping in. "I’m so sorry to hear that," Sarah says, her words laced with sarcasm. Rafe exhales through his nose, standing abruptly, "I don't know. I was just thinking, um." Both you and Sarah track his movements as he walks to the porch railing, gripping it tightly before turning to face her.
"You know, you and me," he starts, gesturing between them, "we try to get Wheezie back." Sarah’s eyes narrow in disbelief. "How?" she asks, her voice flat, as if she’s waiting for him to say something ridiculous. "I don’t know, but..." Rafe admits, pacing back to the table. He moves the glass in front of him before perching on the edge, leaning closer to Sarah. His proximity makes her shift uncomfortably, but she doesn’t move away.
"And then we try to get the money back," Rafe continues, his voice steady and resolute. You can see the determination etched into his features, the way his jaw sets and his eyes gleam with a fervour you know all too well. He pauses, his gaze fixed on Sarah. "Which is why we need to work together," he says, his tone almost pleading now. "Just like Dad taught us. We align our interests." Sarah’s lips press into a thin line, her eyes fixed on the table as Rafe quietly watches.
"I just thought, you and me," Rafe begins again, his voice softer. "We can get back what’s ours." There’s a beat of silence, the weight of his words hanging between them. Sarah bites her lip, her gaze darting to Rafe, then away again. "Look, I’m trying here—" Rafe says, but Sarah cuts him off, rising to her feet abruptly. "No," she says firmly, shaking her head. "I’m sorry."
She turns and strides off the deck, the sound of the front door slamming shut echoing behind her. You stand, moving to where Rafe is still perched on the table, his shoulders hunched and his head bowed. Your hands find his shoulders, squeezing gently as he lets out a frustrated groan. "Can’t she see that I’m trying?" he mutters, his voice laced with annoyance. "Like seriously—" "Shh," you murmur, your thumbs massaging the tense muscles in his shoulders.
"I know, baby. I know you’re trying." You move to stand in front of him, slotting yourself between his legs as he rests his forehead against your stomach. Your manicured fingers run through his buzzed hair, the rhythmic motion calming him as he exhales deeply. "When will she realise that we’re on her side here?" he whispers, his voice tinged with despair.
"You just have to give her time," you reply softly, your fingers stilling for a moment. "She wants to trust you, but she can’t just yet, Rafe." He tilts his head to look up at you, his blue eyes glassy. "I’ve already lost Dad," he says quietly, his voice cracking. "I don’t want to lose her—I don’t want our family to fall apart." Your heart clenches at the raw vulnerability in his tone. You cradle his face gently, your thumbs brushing against his cheekbones as you hold his gaze.
"Listen to me, Rafe," you say, your voice steady and full of conviction. "You won’t lose Sarah, and your family won’t fall apart." His lips press into a thin line, his eyes searching yours for reassurance. "How can you be so sure?" he asks, his voice barely above a whisper. "I just know," you reply softly, leaning down to press a kiss to his forehead. "Because I believe in you."
#rafe cameron outer banks#rafe cameron#drew starkey#outer banks#rafe cameron x reader#fanfiction#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron fanfiction#drew starkey x reader#obx fanfiction#drew starkey x y/n#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron smut#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron x female reader#rafe cameron x kook!reader#rafe cameron au#rafe cameron canon fics#rafe obx#rafe outer banks#outerbanks rafe#rafe cameron and you#rafe cameron and y/n#rafe cameron and reader#rafe cameron angst#outerbanks x reader#outerbanks x you#obx x reader#obx x you#obx x y/n
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hello, I heard you called.
the word ‘lazy’, you will find, is in quotation marks, because I personally do not think audiobook listeners are lazy, but there are many other posts and discussions about this latest thinkpiece topic on the internet, including some in which these people trying to redefine literacy jokingly allude to themselves as lazy. but you knew this, because you know what quotation marks mean, and you would never accuse someone quoting an argument in a book with necessarily sharing the view quoted, because you know how basic punctuation functions—you even used quotation marks in your own latest response, so you absolutely know what they mean! so you can stop lying now.
you can also, for that matter, cease your blatant lying about other things. let me walk you through.
I did indeed say reading is a more psychologically sophisticated process than listening. this is true, because decoding written language must be taught to someone, and is called gaining literacy. I never said that people lack psychological complexity if they can’t read, though you falsely claimed I did (and I quote)—‘you just think they have less “psychological complexity,” an argument used to support aristocracy and colonialism’. I never assigned ‘psychological complexity’ (your words) to individual human beings anywhere in my response, I simply said one process out of the many processes our brains can undertake requires deeper and more sophisticated processing whilst said process is taking place (the process: reading, or the decoding of written language made by possible by written/typed/etc symbols). again, this is about the sophistication of a particular process, not about the relative sophistication (or your word, ‘complexity’) of the brains of different individuals or groups! but again, this was quite obvious if you read my response in good faith, fully willing to engage with the argument being made on its own terms (that redefining reading is a bad thing).
I can accept it may have been accidental, but considering you went on to transpose my viewpoint onto someone else who very considerately tried to explain this view to you—someone in education, no less, who clearly has great reason to feel strongly about this topic—I’d think you really should have brushed up on your cursory glance at my reply. especially seeing as you responded again and again, digging your heels into this imaginary thing no one has said.
your point about colonialism isn’t worth dignifying with more response, you’ve attached a meaningful concept onto your fabrications to lend them more weight somehow. no one fell for it.
it seems you even agree with us, that reading and listening are different skills. why you then continued on this tirade it’s difficult to ascertain. regardless, as per your last response there’s no reason to hand-wring about my believing your given definition of reading as ‘understanding the words and sentences and meanings that the text serves the function of conveying’, because that is not a definition that takes into account the decoding of symbols and thus is not an adequate definition of reading. this one will suffice:
so, let’s review. you have lied (deliberately or accidentally) that I believe audiobook listeners are lazy, you have lied (deliberately or accidentally) that I believe individuals who lack literacy are not psychologically complex, and you have complained about people believing a definition of reading that you yourself have introduced that is not, as it happens, the definition that the two people you were arguing with believe anyway.
one wonders what’s been accomplished here.
This conversation is so fucking funny to me
#look I said I wouldn’t post about this again but they typed my name before spreading this#moth.txt#reading
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May I request some headcanons about Victor, selika, Vander and Vi about caring and being with a S/O with ADHD.
Please and thank you
Arcane characters with an s/o that has ADHD. | Viktor, Sevika, Vander and Vi
Thank you for your request, and I hope you'll enjoy this!<3
Content: No spoilers for season 2, season 1 Viktor, established romantic relationships, fluff, sfw
Reader has no set pronouns.
((Not proofread))
》VIKTOR
He was the first to notice and accommodate to your ADHD, mainly as he knew what it's like to live with something that makes life a little harder in general.
Viktor is very patient and gentle with you when you're having a hard time focusing on tasks or are procrastinating on projects. He understands it just fine and works with you to find strategies that make everything a bit easier. Whether it's studying with you or helping you out on research papers, you both spend a lot of time together, to say the least.
You two enjoy working on your own things in eachothers presence, as it helps you get over your lack of motivation and gives you a chance to talk his ear off freely. Thankfully, he's good at multitasking when it comes to you. Some may think your talking is excessive, but he finds it cute.
Whenever you're a bit more fidgety than usual, he'll hold your hand or give you a reassuring smile, yet doesn't stop your body from regulating itself naturally.
Viktor takes your diagnosis as a simple fact, nothing that defines or undermines your ability to be his s/o. If you need a little help, then he's very clearly okay with that.
》SEVIKA
She doesn't initially understand the concept of ADHD and doesn't care much about it either. Sure, she gets that it affects your day to day life, but she was going to help you out with anything either way even without the diagnosis. So, in other words, she's ready to learn and do as you please.
Your fidgety nature was something she definitely had to get used to, as she mistook it as fear or nervousness rather often. This typically meant that she'll ask you if you're alright a lot or if there was someone bothering you. Over time, she learns to look past it and see it as a natural part of you. If you can't sit still, then she'll let you roam around whilst her eyes watch you closely.
Your endless ramblings and deep interests about the most nichest topics also needed some time for her, but what got her the most was your procrastination issues. She did get not want to do things at all, but she would still attempt to make work as fun as possible in her own way. She'll accompany you everywhere and take care of the heavy lifting.
When she said that she was loyal, she was definitely not kidding around. Your ADHD changes nothing about the way she views you, and so she doesn't make a big deal out of it either.
》VANDER
Probably the most patient and understanding of your ADHD and its symptoms by far. He sees them as a part of you in a good way and simply accepts them as they are.
Whenever you procrastinate on chores or work, he'll try and make it more enjoyable by either helping out or promising you a nice treat after. If it's really bad, though, he'll just do things himself to not stress you out about them too much.
He's the same with your lack of focus, although he sometimes does get concerned about you zoning out when things get serious. Vander will still find his own innovative ideas on making you focus when he needs you to.
He loves listening to you talk to him about the most random things possible, mainly as it shows him that you're comfortable enough with the care he gives you. He also just enjoys weighing in with his own opinions about the many various topics you bring forth at rapid speed.
Either way, he skillfully navigates your diagnosis with ease and doesn't ever let you feel like you're burdening him with it.
》VI
Well, she certainly may have outlandish ideas at times when it comes to working with your ADHD, but she definitely at least has the spirit for it!
Your natural fidgeting and inability to stay still gets interpreted in you just needing to power yourself out. This makes you often find yourself in front of a punching bag with an excited Vi telling you to go ahead and let it alllll out. Whether it works or not is up to you, but you appreciate the effort even after you had explain it wasn't that easy.
Vi will make it her mission to help you out on projects or with work whenever the procrastination gets too bad. She'll also help you out with simpler tasks when she can but will otherwise try to make things fun, at least.
You two enjoy rambling away with each other, and it is her favorite thing. You're both bad at focusing on one topic at a time, so your talks can go on for hours, which she loves very much.
Your diagnosis is just a part of you that she very much loves, even when it gets difficult at times. She never wants you to feel left out or liked less because of it and does her best to never let you think that.
#arcane#arcane x genderneutral reader#arcane x reader#arcane x y/n#arcane x you#arcane viktor x reader#arcane viktor#viktor x reader#viktor arcane#viktor#arcane vi#arcane vi x reader#arcane vander#arcane vander x reader#vander#vander x reader#arcane sevika#arcane sevika x reader#sevika#sevika x you#sevika x reader
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Hard and Soft
Billie fucks you hard and rough with her strap-on making you cum hard before turning back into your sweet girlfriend and giving you soft gentle sex filled with so much love. The night ends with a passionate shared orgasm.
“take it slut, take my dick like a good fucking girl…..mmmmm you like that huh? you like when I fuck you like the slut you are” Billies words were competing to be heard over the sounds of skin slapping and your loud grunts spilling out of your mouth each time she bottomed out inside you. Your brain was mush, only functioning for Billie, only able to think about how hard she was slamming into, how good she was making you feel. When you didn’t respond, unable to find words, she wrapped your hair around her hand a second time, pulling your head up and your back arched harder into the cold granite of the bathroom vanity. “answer me when I ask you a question! am I just fucking you dumb? Are you just too dumb for my cock mama?” she bent her knees angling her faux cock up inside you as she continued to slam it into you. Her movement caused the new angle to hit your g-spot perfectly, over and over and over again. You swore you were seeing stars, crying out any noises you could find to express how good she was making you feel.
“mmmm- …. y-yes Bil- ughhhhhh- yes Billie- I love it, I-, fuckkkk, I’m a slut for your - ughhhhh- your dick, baby” It felt impossible to get your sentence out, but Billie’s hand wasn’t going to stop slapping your ass until you did. your hands were spread out next to you, clawing at the counters trying to find anything to ground you as you began to feel your stomach tightening. Using the hand that wasn’t wrapped around your ponytail, she pulled your arm, ripping it from the marble. She pushed it down to your side harshly, moving you as if you were just a doll for her to use as she continued her forceful thrusts into you. “touch your clit for me y/n, don’t stop until you're cumming all over me, you got it?” you just nodded and moaned louder, hoping she would accept it as a response, as you found the strength to get your fingers to your clit. The contact made you tingle, feeling just how wet you were for her. “Oh god billie, mmmm god you’re fucking me so good” she gripped your ass harder as your words struggle to get out, loving what you were saying to her. “yea baby? that feel good? god you’re such a slut for my cock huh?” you answered her question as high pitched “yes’s” filled the room around you. Once you started saying it you couldn’t stop. Billie was pulling almost all the way out of you before pumping the strap back into you hard and fast. Each time she filled you up, the tip of her dick hit perfectly against your g-spot making your knees buckle and your legs shake. “who’s pussy is this, hmm, who’s perfect little pussy is this baby?” She slapped down on your ass twice as she asked you, her other hand still pulling your hair adding a level of pain you couldn’t get enough of.
“it’s yours Billie, this pussy is all for you” you loved telling her this, loved when she wanted to take ownership of you as she absolutely destroyed you. “mmmm that’s right baby, and this is your cock, your cock you take so nicely” she dug her nails into your hips as she began pulling you back to meet her powerful movements, only adding intensity to the pleasure. Billie knew just how crazy it made you when she fucked you hard like this. She could feel your juices hitting the tops of her thighs, spilling from your cunt with every thrust. “oh god billie i need to cum, please let me cum baby please” she shook her head as she released your hair just enough to let you look in the mirror. Her own pussy throbbed as she locked eyes with you, the sight of your fucked our state made her feral. “not yet, don’t fucking cum until I tell you to, got it?” you whined at her answer, not sure how long you’d be able to hold it. your whole body felt fuzzy, like you’d been plugged into an outlet and the energy was coursing through your blood. your mouth was hanging open, noise coming from you every time her thighs clapped against your ass. “Who's in charge of you, hmm? Who's in charge of this slutty pussy of yours?” Billie needed to remind you again, needed to make it clear she got to decide when you would cum, not you. you slowed your circles on your clit, trying your best to slow the fast approaching orgasm you felt in your stomach. It didn’t help, your clit was swollen and sensitive from the pleasure your girlfriend was giving you. The mirror in front of you made it that much harder, the fierceness of billie’s ice blue eyes locked on yours as she fucked you stupid was making your body heat up more. The smirk on her lips showing just how much she loved this made your need to cum almost impossible to control.
“Oh god Billie I can’t take it, I need to, ughhh, I need to cum, f- fuck your dick feels so good inside me, please let me cum” you knew Billie loved to hear you beg, she loved to feel the power she had over you as she drilled her faux cock into you hard. your walls were closing tightly around the plastic dick as it continued pumping in and out of you. Billie knew you were about to burst, she could feel how much harder it was to push into your tight cunt. She leaned her naked chest against you, her big boobs spilling across your back, and put her face right next to yours. Her lips brushed your ear as she whispered, “go ahead baby, cum for me. Cum all over this big cock like the slut you are” She kissed your shoulder as she finished her sentence before pulling her head back to yours and watching your face contort in pleasure as you finally released. “Oh god Billie fuck i’m cumming baby. fuckkkkk” your pitch was high as she continued to fuck into you, slowing down but keeping the intensity as her hips rolled against your ass. your body was full of energy, feeling a static buzz vibrating through you as your high pitched whimpers continued pouring out of you. “good girl, that’s it baby, cum for me just like that” her tone had changed, it was softer now, the hardness of her words gone now.
Billie was peppering your shoulder with kisses as she continued to slow her thrusts, now only pushing her hips into you gently. you were gasping for air, working hard to get yourself back into reality after such an intense orgasm. “Mmm you did so good for me babygirl, took my cock so well” her motions had now stopped but she was still inside you, boobs still pressed hard against your back. The way she could feel your shaking body, deep breaths and the cock moving against her clit each time your pussy throbbed, continued to keep her hungry for you. you finally caught your breath and looked up at her in the mirror, cheeks flushed, mouth pressed into a big smile. “god you make me feel so good Billie” you whined out, overwhelmed at the continued throbbing of your walls against the strap. She sat up and spread your ass cheeks, watching as she pulled out of you so incredibly slowly. You looked at her through the mirror as she did, you could see her eyes glowing with lust and hunger from the sight in front of her. your pussy spilled out with cum and she bent down to lick it off you as she hummed at your taste.
When she stood up again she spun you around, your back now pushed up against the edge of the counter. She kissed you hard with her body pressed up against yours. The tip of the cock rubbed against your clit as your bodies slammed together and it made your legs buckle slightly. Billie caught on and began very small thrusts against you, stimulating your clit with each minor movement. you whined into her mouth as your lips danced against one anothers, she was winding you up for another round just like she intended. “You think you can give me one more round pretty girl?” she asked as she pulled away, looking deeply into your eyes as she brushed your hair out of your face and planted a sweet kiss on the tip of your nose. Her entire persona has changed as she turned back into your loving gentle girlfriend. you could see in her eyes that she no longer wanted to fuck you hard; Now she wanted to make sweet soft love to you.
You nodded lightly with a soft smile on your cheeks as she led you both out of the bathroom and on to your bed. Your legs were shaky as she guided you, feeling unstable from the way she just fucked you, the way she just made you cum so hard. When your back hit the soft, warm cotton sheets the plushness felt so nice after 15 minutes of being pressed against the hard, cold marble countertop.
Billie slowly climbed on top of you, placing gentle kisses all up your body as she went. When she made it to your face, holding her body up with her hands placed on either side of your head, she placed her lips softly against your cheeks, then your own lips. One of her hands traveled down to grabbing her plastic dick and rubbed the tip against your clit lightly as she told you how beautiful you were. When she finally pushed into you, you both let out a deep groan together. Her movements in and out of you were slow and so intentional, the opposite of how she was just fucking you in the bathroom. Each time she bottomed out and you felt the base of the strap on against your skin, she grinded her hips up into you, allowing her own clit to get stimulated and moaning at the feeling. You held eye contact passionately, as if your eyes were communicating with each other, your souls blending together becoming one. your little cries harmonized with hers over and over, singing with the beat of her slow thrusts.
“Does that feel good baby?” Billie asked sweetly, her voice was filled with love. “yes mama, yes it feels so good” you whispered back to her before pulling her in for a kiss. It was a slow kiss, a kiss that pulled your lips together so perfectly, one that can only be given when you love someone as much as you and Billie love each other. Her hips were rubbing against your sensitive clit so perfectly as her dick stimulated your g-spot with a slow passion. It was all so perfect, everything felt so good when it was laced with love. “Billie I’m gonna cum, this feels so good” She nodded her head as you spoke, agreeing with the pleasure you expressed.
Her nods stopped as she was brought to the edge of her own high as the base of her strap hit her clit perfectly over and over again. “mmm yes baby, yesss sweet girl cum with me, please cum with me” she whispered in your ear as she laid her body flush against you, hips still grinding into your, dick still deep inside you. Her voice had a whininess to it that sounded so sweet, like she so badly wanted you to be feeling as good as she was. your legs wrapped around her as she held you tightly, exhaling loudly as you both fell over the edge. your cries and whimpers merged with hers as you both came with each other, holding one another as tightly as you could, wanting to be as close as you could possibly be. You felt like you were floating together, like your souls were mixing as you orgasmed together. Her head was next to your and your ears were being flooded by the sweet sounds of her moans as she continued to slowly, deeply thrust into you. Your body was once again tingling from head to toe, this second orgasm even stronger than the first. “I love you baby, fuck I love you so much y/n” she moaned out in an exhale, eager to get the words out before she had fully recovered from her high. You planted your lips on hers as she lifted her head. “God I love you so much beautiful girl” you spoke softly as you pulled away, head returning to the pillow as you ran out of strength to hold it up.
Billie stayed inside you for a while as you both just held each other. You hummed quietly as your nails danced gently against the soft skin of her back. Your eyes closed as you slowed your breathing, truly drunk from the euphoria Billie just gave you. She takes such good care of you, always making sure to balance the hard rough fucking with soft, sweet sex. She loved you so much and never failed to show that to you. “I’m so in love with you” you breathed out, you could hear your smile in your voice.
#billie eilish#billie eilish fanfiction#billie eilish smut#billie eilish x reader#billie eilish x y/n#billie eilish x you#billie x reader
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Vander 🫗 | SMUT Headcanons
Pairings: Vander x Reader, Dom!Vander x Reader
Rating: NSFW!! 18+, MDNI ! You WILL be blocked.
Pronouns: She/Her + Female Anatomy Descriptions
Word Count: 898
Tags: DaddyDom!Vander, Spit play, Finger Sucking, Fingering, Crawling, Thigh Riding, Rough Sex, Dacryphilia, Size Difference, Etc.
Notes: Just some spicy Headcanons for our big, old, husky, bearded barman 🤍 as well as some for a darker version of our big teddy bear dad 🤍
- Vander is completely enchanted by your lips. Every chance he gets, especially when he cradles your face in his hands, he can’t resist the urge to brush his thumb over them, savoring their softness. It’s also no wonder how primal it makes him feel considering how your own natural instinct is to suck the skin of his thumb gently. Every. Single. Time.
- He can’t help but prod at them until you let him breach the surface. You’re always so hungry for a taste of him, no matter if it’s his cock or his fingers. Always so insatiable, and deeply unsatisfied until moments like these when you’re greedily swirling your tongue around his finger.
- He never wastes time in hooking his thumb into your mouth, toying with making you and your tongue slave to find it. The slickness of your saliva and the sounds that follow are nothing short of immaculate, a perfect blend of neediness and yearning that leave him desperately smitten.
- The way you whimper, and the way your thighs grind together to ease the tension and aching in your clit drives him to the brink—the sounds unraveling him, each one igniting the flames of his own aches.
- He wants nothing more than to switch his fingers out for his cock— but unfortunately, he wouldn’t be able to hear you as well. His fingers are slim enough to let the noise pass over them, but his cock would be a different story.
- Vander is a gentle lover by nature, but— like any part of nature, he has his more unpredictable moments. His ‘natural disasters’ or sorts. Though—you wouldn’t necessarily call them ‘disasters’.
- Just as easily as it is for him to spend hours tenderly ramming his cock into you, during more ferocious, needy moments, he’ll waste no time in fucking you senseless. Despite it mainly happening every blue moon, he knew when you needed it like this, and he knew that you’d be willing to take it on the days he needed it like this.
- You both have happily accepted that he’s a man with a wild side to be nurtured every now and then. And you’re so good at nurturing it for him. When laying in bed, he’s started fucking you from behind, quickly losing his patience for tenderness. He’s sat upright against the headboard, and pulled you on top of him, all without ever disconnecting from you for even a moment.
- With your back pressed to his chest, he cups under your knees, almost folding you in half from the way he gripped and pulled them back- as he started slamming his hips at a merciless pace. The angle had you practically foaming at the mouth, considering—with his given strength—he uses minimal effort to bounce you up and down to meet the way he was snapping his hips up into you. The way your ass bounced on his legs is a sight that constantly makes his dick twitch when he thinks back to it.
- The screams you could never bother to try stifling almost kept him up at night sometimes. Too many times have the recollections made him overfill a pint or two behind the bar counter, earning questioning glances from bar patrons. He can’t always help the way his mind wanders when he has you to ravish every night.
- Vander often says things like:
“C’mon Angel— Look at me while you suck my cock dry. I wanna see those pretty little eyes of yours.”
“That’s it— Attagirl. Atta-fuckin’-girl.”
Dom!Vander HC’s
- Will make you kneel on the ground, mouth wide open, pussy dripping, and leave you like that. He’d tell you that you weren’t allowed to swallow your spit. He’d then pull up a chair and sit in front of you, despicably far, and just watch you. He’d wait until your shirt became transparent from how much drool had fallen on it. Then—only then, would he speak.
- “Crawl…” he commands.
- You obey. You crawl to him, almost desperately quick, until you stop at his boots. He’d be tempted to make you grind on them, but he prefers his thighs for that.
- You crawl onto him, straddling one of his massive thighs.
- Just a few minutes into him making you grind yourself down on it, his blue jeans are just as soaked as your shirt.
- “Attagirl.” He’d coo as he’d start guiding your hips for you with his hands. It’s your fault if you think he’s going to let you cum anytime soon, though.
- When he halts all movement once you’re practically falling off the edge of your orgasm, he’d tut at you when you keep trying to desperately find the friction again.
- “Don’t you fight me.” He’d snap as you greedily tried to chase your orgasm, thrashing your hips around against his grip.
- He’d pull your hair and make you look at him, his other hand holding your jaw with contempt.
- Denial was his virtue. He won’t let you cum until you’re crying and begging for mercy.
- “Cry for me, Angel.” He’d command, needing to see the tears in your eyes while you begged for release.
- When you’d get too embarrassed to do so, he’d grip your face tighter.
- “Let. Me. Hear. You.” So you do. You let it out.
- And then—only then, will he slip his thick fingers in you.
- “Excellent. Such a good girl. Now. Get yourself off on daddy’s fingers, yeah?” He’d purr.
#smut#Vander smut#Vander x reader smut#Vander x reader#arcane smut#arcane x reader smut#Vander x female reader#Vander x female reader smut#Vander arcane#arcane x reader#arcane x reader imagine#Vander imagine#Vander Headcanons#Vander smut Headcanons#Vander smut imagine#Vander smut Drabble
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This seems like a series of perplexing opinions.
Sure, trains were built by capitalists for the needs of capital. Unsurprisingly, that's their historical context and intended purpose.
And yes, trains imply long-distance travel. Trains imply transporting goods across vast distances. Trains imply an interconnected society, a society whose needs and ambitions are geographically quite far-ranging. In a world with train networks, someone or something is traveling far beyond a local village.
And I agree with girl-debord's first post in this thread and don't see anything particularly weird about it. But that's because I give people the benefit of the doubt when I can. To me, saying "tech is not neutral" is a fine statement to make, because tech is embedded in social processes and can often cause harm through them. We can use mass surveillance tools to monitor the health of animal populations, for example, but that is not their main use -- and in cases like that, the wonderful use case is only relevant because of problems caused by capitalism to begin with. Would we worry about rhinoceros or dolphin population decline without a capitalist society, where "free markets" have generated mass production processes for fishing industries and generated market pressures on black-market ivory trade or the cutting down of forests?
"what are you even trying to say here? mass movement of things and people is bad?" Not every Tumblr post drawing a connection between capitalist interests and the creation of something is morally condemning that thing. That said, it's possible to assume that the Debord quote "it should be understood that this apparatus is in no way neutral" is being used as moral condemnation here, so it's a fair question, I guess.
"moving objects for significant distances along the ground" is a priority to a particular global system under which trains were invented.
It's also a priority for a lot of people who find parts of that particular global system appealing for reasons that are entirely understandable. People all over the world do in fact want access to resources not found in their neck of the woods.
And I will be careful here. I agree, for example, that the mass transportation of medicine, for example, is often only necessary because big medical conglomerates are legally prohibiting and violently enforcing their patents.
But it's kind of odd to argue that it's a bad thing that large numbers of people can flee a large natural disaster (say a volcanic outbreak) with the help of fast transportation.
trains are "efficient" within the parameters of that system--that disrupting ecosystems and exploiting immigrant workers are acceptable trade-offs for the value generated by global trade
Trains are not global trade.
Global trade does not, intrinsically, involve exploiting immigrant workers.
"those bad consequences you bring up aren't an inevitable consequence of a connected world."
Are we going to argue that train tracks don't disrupt ecosystems?
"technologies are neutral. politically they don't actually cause people to act."
Depends. If you have a train, you might go looking for work far further away from home than if you didn't have a train. Your family might not see each other much because the availability of the technology (paired with market pressure to get a job) has conditioned you to behave a certain way.
"i don't want borders. you know what makes for a great border? the inability to just fucking physically go somewhere else."
I don't think that's a good way of framing your opponent's ideas, transfemsriseup. Plenty of immigrants cross borders without trains.
Actually, come to think of it, how can technologies not actually cause people to act if without them, people supposedly act differently?
"but what I'm suggesting is that the consideration of whether or not trains are "worth it" has happened within a framework that I don't ascribe to as a communist, a framework of value."
You don't ascribe to value as a communist? Not even use value?
"railway workers don't build railroads because they believe that the railroad will be a good thing for everyone, they build them because they are paid to and without that pay they can't eat or afford a home. and these technologies were invented for similar reasons."
We could apply the same argumentation to paleolithic technology still in use today. Under capitalism, workers don't (generally, unless they happen to be enthusiastic) do anything at work except to get paid so they can eat or afford a home. We can't argue that trains mustn't exist because their construction and operation has some environmental impacts that are imperfect and because the workers who built them weren't free. Might as well argue that people should live without homes, because workers don't freely build homes but do so in order to eat.
Okay, maybe that's not what you're saying. Another thing you might be saying is "just as workers are restricted to certain choices, so too are profit-seeking capitalists restricted and under these restrictions they invented the train".
But I think a similar rebuttal applies. An abandoned military barracks can serve as a makeshift shelter and will not turn people into servants of the military-industrial complex if they take shelter there. Similarly, a train can serve more purposes than the one for which it was built.
"i think if you can understand the idea that maybe car-centric suburbs are terrible & wouldn't exist without the pseudo-needs created by a capitalist society, this shouldn't be much of a jump."
Understanding the argument isn't much of a jump, no. It's just odd to argue against the least intrusive form of adaptive long-distance travel. Trains are less environmentally intrusive than highways, shipping lanes and air travel routes. Yes, people could walk, but if people walk, they can't escape unforeseen disasters or physically connect with family members on the other side of the continent. Then there is no way to supply people with emergency aid or help out with a resource shortage.
"wow, an ML, the supposedly scientific and materialist ideology, saying that material conditions dont affect how people act? and in the defense of consumerism, no less?"
The ML you are mocking mentioned 3 benefits:
Medicine (an essential supply)
Immigrants (freedom to travel)
Food (potentially a consumer good, but also a vital necessity)
How do we conclude that this is a defense of consumerism?
on the topic of trains and the role of technology in ongoing atrocities, i think something to consider if this is shocking to you is that the development of all technology since the start of the industrial revolution (and a lot of it before that tbh) has been dictated by the needs of capital. trains wouldn't exist without the reign of an economic system that demands mass circulation of commodities. the world has not been shaped by what's best for everyone but what's best for perpetuating that economic system. as Debord says about media technology, "it should be understood that this apparatus is in no way neutral and that it has been developed in accordance with the spectacle’s internal dynamics" (The Society of the Spectacle, thesis 24).
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Popping in to say that I am currently slowly reading everything you have made and why do you make such delicious stories? I love them all thank you so much for them and I hope you a very lovely week! For all the goodness you feed us!
Thank you! I have fun writing these
Everything Is Alright Pt 66
IDW Starscream x Reader, Soundwave x Reader
• Giving a low, halfhearted growl when Soundwave coaxes you into his servos, Starscream drains another of the cassette sized energon cubes. As much as he enjoys being able to hold you and touch you, the longer he’s missing, the more likely it is that someone will come looking for him. Namely Megatron. Neither one of them wants the warlord anywhere near you, because your life depends on you staying a secret. You can’t be discovered.
• Wrapped in a blanket, you lay your chin against Soundwave’s servos as he picks you up. Listening to the hum of his spark when he cradles you to him. And you remember the feel of his mind wrapped around you, of being seen. Knowing he’d seen everything, the good and the bad. That it hadn’t mattered to him. Tipping your head up, you find him watching you and you press your mouth against his chassis in a soft kiss.
• Precious little thing. He can sense your affection for him and the Seeker, that you’d felt him in your mind and you’d accepted him there instead of trying to shut him out. It’s the first time he’d not felt like a trespasser in another’s mind. “Still tired?” He asks, rubbing his servo against your jaw and watching you yawn before shifting his stare to Starscream. Because he knows it’s that incomplete bond and the Seeker glares back at him, finishing another cube. Complete unrepentant.
• “Little bit,” you mumble, wanting to curl into his warmth and sleep. Hoping that his agreement with Starscream hadn’t just been a one time thing, because you love them both. And his servos shift against you as you inhale. Because it’s true. And you’re sure he’d sensed your realization. At some point the way you felt for them had slipped into love and that scares you. You know they both care about you, but you’re not sure if it’s the same way.
• Soundwave’s visor dims slightly, head dipping toward you as Starscream pushes the empty energon cube away and mass shifts. Processor pounding as he staggers and has to catch himself. Shakily reaching for another energon cube, because he’s back to full size, but still so weak. Optics narrowing as he watches Soundwave run his masked face against you and you reach up to touch him in return. It still drives him crazy, but it’s harder to resent it after the mech had helped him just to keep you happy instead of taking advantage of his weakness.
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Lorraine Baines McFly and Female Autonomy
Hello. I have spent the past month slowly losing my mind about Lorraine Baines McFly, Marty's mom in Back to the Future, so I am finally trying to articulate some of the reasons I'm so feral about her.
There's a quote from Lea Thompson, the actress who played Lorraine, that goes, "The three parts that women usually get to play are virgins, whores, and mothers, and in Back to the Future Part II, I got to play all three." While this is commentary on Hollywood and the limited roles that fictional women get forced into, I think it's also interesting to think about it in terms of how these roles are reflected onto actual women and used to limit their personhood and confine them to a very narrow range of acceptable behaviors . . . and then in turn to think about how the character interacts with these roles on a Watsonian level. They're affecting not just Lorraine the character as she was written, but Lorraine from an in-universe perspective trying to navigate life as a woman in a patriarchal world. Some of the sexism she faces is a deliberate narrative choice and some of it is a result of the writers' blind spots, but for the purpose of this essay I'm less interested in teasing out which threads are which and more in looking at it holistically.
Because the thing about Lorraine is that she's aware of what the acceptable roles and behaviors for women are, and the versions that we see of her across the various timelines alternately fight against and capitulate to these constraints. What is a woman allowed to be? How much is Lorraine willing to break from those restrictions? How much does she allow other women to break from them? Does she resent her role or embrace it? I have a lot of thoughts specifically about how the different iterations of her interact with concepts of female agency and autonomy.
(Putting this under a cut because it is. Long.)
I started thinking about this when I was talking with my partner about 50's Lorraine. She's extremely active and driven and planning to Get What She Wants (in a way that is very scary, if you are Marty) . . . but at the same time she's clearly aware that she isn't supposed to be. A Good Fifties Girl is demure and passive. Lorraine isn't--but she's still trying to toe the line. I think constantly about the scene where she shows up at Doc's garage to be like "I followed you home . . . so that I can ask you to ask me to the dance." The girl can embrace borderline stalking but she draws the line at directly asking a boy out! She's exercising a lot of agency but views doing so as rebellious and subversive--and risky.
And I also want to talk about the whole "boy crazy" thing because like . . . society (especially in the fifties) tells women that the most important thing they can possibly do is find a good man and become wives and mothers, that this will define the success or failure of their entire lives (and given how many things were unavailable to single women at the time this is in many ways true) . . . and then relentlessly mocks and punishes anyone who actually takes an interest in pursuing this instead of just sitting back passively and waiting. She is trying to do what society says will make her happy! And even her desire for a white knight is very much based in the reality of her situation! She's getting sexually harassed at school and around town and she's doing exactly what she's supposed to and standing up for herself and saying no and fighting back--and this is not enough. She does need backup! Biff harasses her in the middle of a crowded cafeteria and Marty is the ONLY person who does anything! No fucking wonder she latches onto him as hard as she does! (There's. I promise this is related but there's a BttF parody musical on YouTube where when Strickland comes to break up the lunchroom fight he says, "Now, I can excuse sexual harassment, but LIGHT SHOVING?" and like it's a haha funny joke but also?? Yeah?? That IS how it works. The way Lorraine's being treated is so overlooked and normalized that the authority figure isn't going to step up the way he will when it's a physical altercation between two guys. Screams.) I wonder if part of the reason she stuck with George in the original timeline even though they didn't have a lot in common is that "I have a boyfriend" is a boundary that some people might actually take seriously whereas "I'm not interested" is not.
But. In general 50's Lorraine is very much about grabbing as much agency as she feels she's allowed to . . . and then Twin Pines Lorraine is what happens when she regrets the result of those choices (because while we don't see it, it's pretty obvious that in the original timeline she pursued George as aggressively as she pursues Marty in the new one), and so she decides to deny, not just her own agency, but female agency as a general concept. She leans so heavily on the idea that her relationship was "meant to be" because it absolves her of any culpability in creating a life she's unhappy with. She's rewritten her own past to view herself as a passive participant in something inevitable. (Exactly the view of womanhood that she was fighting so hard against in the 50's!) And she extends this idea of female passivity to the women around her: telling Linda that she should sit back and wait and a relationship will "just happen," actively resenting Jennifer for doing something as simple as calling Marty on the phone. It's a really interesting form of internalized misogyny, perpetuating these sexist ideas as almost a misguided form of self-defense.
And then for Lone Pine Lorraine this is completely flipped! She loves Jennifer for the same reason she disliked her in Twin Pines: because she reminds Lorraine of her younger self. And like . . . this is something of an extrapolation, but while obviously her husband and kids are still very important to her, it also feels like she has interests and friends and other things going on in her life, whereas part of the isolation of Twin Pines is that her life has shrunk down to the point where she's ONLY a wife and mother with nothing else to define herself by. And it also matters that in this timeline she has a partner that supports her, not just in the big dramatic moments (although also that), but you can easily see the dance as a catalyst for George actually learning to listen to her and stand up for her about smaller things as well. George McFly feminism arc. (I'm being slightly facetious but like. George starts off kind of shitty. The spying is actively Bad and I hope Marty chewed him out for it offscreen, but also his reaction to the harassment scene being "I think there's someone else she'd rather go with," implying that he sees what Biff is doing as like. Normal flirting that he expects to work. He doesn't GET it. Unsurprising because he is. A teenage boy in the fifties. But I do believe that saving Lorraine was something of a wakeup call and after that he listened to her about things that make her uncomfortable and gave her the support that she needed. Which would also give her a lot more freedom in this timeline because she has someone with more societal power who has her back!)
And then. Hell Valley.
If Lone Pine is the version of Lorraine who has the most freedom, the most opportunities to make decisions based on what she wants instead of What Is Expected Of A Woman, Hell Valley is the opposite. The things denying her agency in Twin Pines is largely societal forces (and herself); in Hell Valley she is actively being denied autonomy by her evil husband who functions as the personification of a bunch of sexist ideas.
She's been objectified to the point that she doesn't maintain control over her own body; Biff pressures her to get cosmetic surgeries so she can continue to look attractive to him because that's the only value he sees in her. Her physical appearance is entirely tailored to his preferences.
Biff's view of Lorraine is wife-as-possession. He treats her like a prize he's won and her kids like parasites. And he is NOT subtle about this. But Lorraine is still desperately clinging to the idea that she's wife-as-family. She calls Biff "your father" to Marty when he arrives, and talks about "our children" because she wants so so badly for this to be something different than what it is. It's especially terrible because this is a timeline where she got seventeen years of being happy with George, she knows what she's missing, and she keeps trying to force this new relationship into a similar mold even though Biff is openly contemptuous of her and especially her kids. It's been twelve years and she's still trying to pretend. To call back to that Lea Thompson quote: it's obvious where Biff thinks Lorraine fits on the virgin-mother-whore axis, while Lorraine is actively trying to centralize her motherhood partially because the kids really are that important to her and partially as a defense mechanism.
(And it's also such a bleak cautionary tale about how fragile women's stability can be when they're dependent on their husbands; Lorraine was happy with George and had a fair amount of freedom, but he was the only one with an income so when he died she was suddenly forced into a truly horrific situation because she had no other means to support herself and her three young children. Especially given that the Hell Valley universe is also worse in some broader political ways that mean there were probably even fewer social supports available than in real life 1973)
And god. It kills me the way that we see her lash out, the way she's clawing for autonomy when she threatens to leave . . . and then exactly how Biff levels all his axes of control against her. It's very interesting that his first tactic is consumerist (Who will pay for all your things? Who will take care of you?) and that doesn't work even though not being able to support herself is a very real concern. It's only when he threatens her kids that she folds. And then she immediately crumples and pivots to rationalizing Biff's behavior and blaming herself for her own abuse (in a way that is both HEARTBREAKING and also? surprisingly sympathetic and realistic for an 80's movie?). It's similar to the passivity we see in Twin Pines, but here we see exactly where it comes from. She doesn't have any way out so she has to pretend. It's the only way she can keep going. She has these flashes of rage but they're immediately snuffed out by despair and denial.
There's not a lot of talk about Lorraine and what there is tends to reduce her to "well she's Marty's mom" as if she's a boring character who doesn't have a lot going on. But even though most of her role in the movies has to do with her relationships with the various men in her life, those relationships are really interesting if you actually pay attention to them! She's not just (in the 80's) a wife and mother--she's someone who has a complex relationship with marriage and motherhood and the societal expectations surrounding them. She's not just (in the 50's) a vapid boy-crazy girl--she's doing her best to go after what she wants in a world that doesn't want her to (the fact that one of the things she wants turns out to be her time-traveling son from the future is unfortunate but not something she has any way of knowing!). She's stuck in a society that doesn't want women to be people, and she knows this, and because we see her across two different time periods and three different timelines you can watch how sometimes society grinds her down until she gives in and tries not to be a person. And also how, sometimes, she fights back.
#back to the future#bttf#lorraine baines mcfly#this is what i mean when i say that lorraine has SO many interesting things going on and i do not think that most of them were on purpose#but i'm here and i have a shovel.#anyway. i would kill for her.
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You said something about Azul's darling having children healing his childhood trauma. ANGST WARNING!! AND BULLYING!
This gave me an idea, he was bullied for being slow and different from other kids from the original plot. In this yandere au, that can be twisted into how he's such a loser, he'll probably never be good enough for a darling to accept him. He's so fat, not even a kind and pitiful darling, would want him. How the other mers think he's so stupid that he'd fumble trying to catch his darling and that they'll just be claimed by another, cooler, yandere. Laughing at him all the while so and flexing how their wonderful talents and skills would be enough to steal away a darling's heart, unlike him.
I can imagine how much this'll break his self esteem and brand him as a "weak yandere" to the other fishies. Azul would strive to be the opposite of all this, he would plan to take away their special abilities to "win a darling over" and make it his own, as his unique magic forms through sheer spite. He's so jaded and the thoughts of not being good enough to have a darling still ingrained in him. He probably won't fall in love with MC until after his overblot. Having the internal belief that, no darling would want a loser like him.. He probably won't care that MC is a darling at first and is just planning to use her as leverage against the other yanderes. Hence, taking over her only place to live. It benefits him as well since he'll be able to open another branch of the Mostro lounge and attract the other yanderes.
But then something changes. MC does something while they are inside the blot space. He realizes that.. she sees more in him than anyone ever had. Even if MC says so only in passing cause she's reasonably pissed- He can't help but focus on those specific words, ignoring the rest of her rant. Suddenly, he feels whole, and he knows she doesn't want to share this feeling with anyone. Suddenly...
He's already drafting a contract after their visit in the coral sea museum, giggling to himself as he marks that day their first date....
I hope you find this idea as interesting as I did!! I love Azul 😁
I really love asks for the yandereverse, because there are so many ways that the charas’ backstories can change. Azul’s bullying making him insecure when it comes to his darling is perfect, and it kind of works with how the Coral Sea sees yanderes and darlings. I also love Azul, I love me an evil mafia man.
The Coral Sea is an anti-darling rights area, so yanderes have more freedom to do what they want in order to take their darlings for themselves. And yanderes are supposed to be strong and tough, how else do they keep their darlings safe and with them? The kids of the Coral Sea know that well.
And Azul wasn’t that. He was slow, and weak and a scaredy-catfish crybaby who hid inside a pot. HE was supposed to be a yandere? That was genuinely surprising to nearly all his former classmates. And they made sure he knew that. Their teasing was relentless….
‘Are you sure they weren’t wrong? You’re not supposed to be slow and stupid if you’re like us.’
‘He’ll probably lose his darling.’
‘I’d hate to be them, he’s so fat and icky.’
….And at the same time they rub salt into the wound. After all, they’re fast and strong and smart and talented and good looking. They’ll get their darlings no problem, while he will be left alone and broken hearted watching his darling being with someone else. All the bullying broke him down over a while, he started to think it was right.
But despite all the bullying, Azul still tries his hardest to stop being the weak yandere his peers deemed him as. And in a form of vengeance, he’ll take away the special abilities they shoved in his face to remind him how inferior he was, After all, the yanderes that bullied him have their own insecurities that they want to hide from their darlings, so he’ll take their very best away to make himself better for his future darling. He’ll make himself better so that whoever he falls for won’t have to be disgusted by him. (While making his bullies as disgusting to their darlings as they said he’d be .)
But… He just can’t forget the years of bullying ingrained into him. What darling would want him? What darling would love him when he’s just a dim-witted octopus? That denial blinds him up till when he finally meets you.
Once he’s aware of you being a darling he sees the opportunity, not love. (Because he doesn’t deserve you, so why bother?). After all, what would all your yanderes do or pay to have you for themselves? No price is too high when it comes to a darling, and so, getting you under his thumb is his first priority. Getting you out of Ramshackle and under his control/ownership will make this so much easier. But there’s one big problem.
You won’t sign his contracts. You told him you’d rather never go home than sign one. I imagine after that point, he starts trying to find loopholes to get you to sign. And your friends are his best bet. So he tricks Ace, Deuce and Grim into being indebted to him, so that you’ll feel obligated to help them. But that didn’t work, because (to be honest, you’re grateful for the alone time) you just let them be stuck in a contract with him. Fortunately, Crowley got involved and you had to go into a contract with him.
But unfortunately, instead of accepting his offer to stay at Octavinelle till the time limit was up, you proceeded to stay over in Savanaclaw. He’d never been more angry before in his life. The idea of you sleeping with and doing seven-only-knows with those beasts never made him more jealous. The smell of Leona Kingscholar on your skin made him want to add onto the debt the prince owed in vengeance.
But not wanting to spoil anything more, in the blot space your attempts to pull him out of his self-loathing, change him. He sees that you care about him, that you don’t think he’s a not a stupid, ugly octopus and that instead you see him as something more. Someone who’s hardworking, intelligent, and even cute. And that moment, he truly realizes his love for you. You’re not like the others, you see something in him that no one ever had before. He doesn’t get that you’re saying it only for the sake of your, and maybe a little of his, life. Those words echo in his head. You love him, all his bullies were wrong, his darling isn’t disgusted by him. He feels whole….
…..And he doesn’t want to share this feeling. This complete joy.
He needs you to be his. He’ll draft another contract, one intended to make sure no one else will ever be able to steal you from him and ensure you’ll be by his side, on the land and in the sea. The museum will be like a date to him, hearing your kind words about his childhood appearance makes that younger self cry with joy.
You, quite literally, became the center of his world. And he intends to hold that same place as he becomes a part of your world. Whether you like it or not.
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I don't know if you have done this already, but atalanta x darling arranged marriage au?
Atalanta's Arranged Marriage
As part of her unofficial education, Atalanta grows up knowing all the other socialites by sight. She has played with their children, gone to school with them, seen them at galas, all the necessary stuff. So when her parents inform her that she is to marry you, she has a dim view of who you are. The youngest daughter of a tech mogul, new money, a few years younger than herself, with dark hair. Atalanta, being a good obedient daughter, agrees with no complaint.
She is a dutiful fiancee. She handwrites a letter expressing how delighted she is to marry you and asks to meet you for dinner one night, sending along a large bouquet of flowers. You can't refuse a Montclair and you definitely can't refuse your future wife, so you write back accepting. Glad to have your acceptance, Ata has Noelle schedule the meeting in her calendar for next week and then puts it out of her mind for now.
Atalanta had seen you before, so she vaguely knew how you looked, but she had never expected the electrifying spark of attraction at the sight of you. Before, you were just some girl, a pretty new socialite, a daughter afraid of taking the wrong step and ruining the conglomerate your father built, but not anymore. Never anymore.
You would be hers; Her intended, her lover, her wife. The newest lady of the Montclair family. Hers.
Atalanta stands to greet you, politely ignoring your scared look, and kisses your hand, "Hello Darling, I am Atalanta Montclair. Pleased to meet you."
You're so cute when you stammer out a return greeting, the sweet redness on your face showing your embarrassment. Chivalrously, Ata pulls your chair out and settles you in, pushing you up to the table. Gracefully, she takes the seat across from you.
Atalanta is incredibly interested in you. She gently steers you away from alcohol, wanting all of you, everything you can tell her. She encourages you to eat well, to tell her about your childhood, your schooling, your hopes and dreams. She can make them happen for you, Darling; just tell her. Any questions about herself are quickly answered but not in depth. The focus tonight is you.
From then on Ata is obsessed. She has Noelle dig up information about you, any fact she can find from the day of your birth on. She has one of her own people tail you, she doesn't trust your security to keep you safe. She texts you multiple times a day, telling you good morning and good night, reminding you to eat well and drink water, asking if she might see you tonight. To try and be romantic, she writes letters to you with her own hand, praising your beauty and grace and telling you how much she misses you. She sends you presents, things Noelle tells her that you would like. Diamond jewelry, rare flowers, clothes made from the softest silks, you are spoiled and all of society knows you are the Montclair's new Princess. People begin to treat you differently; nobles who used to secretly look down on you for being new money now seem afraid of upsetting you, and ones who openly scorned you now give you a wide berth.
Wedding plans are imminent. Atalanta gives you full reign to pick whatever you like, saying "She exists to make you happy". All the loving attention from a beautiful celebrity makes your heart flutter, but it is also a bit suffocating. Your parents don't seem to be the same anymore; any minor decision is now yours and Your own Father who previously regarded you as little more than a possession now talks about your fiancee like she is a goddess.
Atalanta is... truly the complete package. She's gorgeous, rich, intelligent, and she completely dotes on you, treating you like a princess. You enjoy the numerous gifts and the gentle kisses and care she provides for you, even the letters she writes to you with her own hand. She takes you anywhere you want, the aquarium, the botanical gardens, her private box at the theatre, and she always holds your hand, dutifully following behind you as you point out all the things that catch your eye.
Your wedding grows closer. You pick the flowers, the cake, and the food, and you get fitted for your dress. Atalanta informs you that she will be wearing a matching white suit and vest, and the immediate warm gush between your legs shows how you feel about that. You are nervous, terrified even, but Ata gently assuages your fears. She will be as loving and attentive a wife as she is a fiancee, so don't worry. She will always take care of you.
The night before your momentous wedding, you receive one last present, a large box delivered by an intense woman with light blonde hair, a woman you know to be Atalanta's assistant. She informs you of the instructions your future wife sent, "Open while alone".
Later in your room, you pull at the satin ribbon and open the large box to find another handwritten card,
I eagerly await our union tomorrow, Darling. I am so excited to be married to you. I had these picked out with you in mind; I do hope I am not being too forward. Please pick whichever you like best. Don't be nervous for tomorrow night, my love. As promised, I will always take care of you - Ata 💙
Lifting up the white tissue paper unveils... lingerie in varying colors and styles, all perfectly sized to your body. There is also one... underwear set? A silk bra and panties, the same color as your skin. Your face immediately heats up with recognition; These are meant to be worn tomorrow, under your wedding dress, the wedding dress currently hanging up in the closet of your room.
Hands shaking, you turn your attention to the lingerie. 5 distinct types: Babydoll, Corset, Teddy, Chemise, and two lacy matching sets. Your face is burning by the end, a short silk robe. As mortified as you are, you appreciate the robe. As much as your wife wants to see you in these... strings of fabric on your wedding night, she included some covering, purely for the sake of your comfort.
You flop back in your bed surrounded on all sides by silken, laced underthings. You squeal in excitement, kicking your legs. Only 14 more hours. Tonight is your final night in this bed, the bed of your childhood self. You take a deep breath. You will be a married woman tomorrow, a wife to the sweet, considerate, handsome woman who cherishes you. You will be hers and she will be yours, and you will finally, finally get to touch the soft, creamy skin that's been plaguing your most secret dreams.
You wonder if, across the city, Atalanta is in her bed, thinking the same thoughts about you.
You hope she is.
#Atalanta my oc#Asteria my oc#Jamie my oc#Noelle my oc#yandere imagine#yandere oc#yandere darling#soft yandere#yandere headcanons#yandere#yandere x darling#yandere fluff#yandere blog#yandere lesbian#yandere girl#yandere wlw#yandere woman
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hiiii can you write about precrash nat and reader. reader moves to wiskayok and moves to nats trailer park. her and nat don't really talk much because reader attracts more of a popular crowd. reader hides the fact that she lives in a trailer park from her new popular friends. reader joins the soccer team and starts to become more friendly with nat. one day after practice nat offers reader a ride home and she accepts. nat and reader become closer after that. reader develops a crush on nat but doesn't like that either because she feels like its wrong. readers friends notice that shes been hanging out with nat and getting rides with her and they dont like that so they follow nat and reader and realize that reader lives in a trailer park. so the next day they bully tf out of reader and tell everyone. reader goes to nat for comfort and thats when reader reveals her feelings for nat
lololol this is my first time requesting so i hope its good
What a Shame
Natalie Scatorccio x Fem! reader
5.9k words
Warning(s): Bullying, drug use (weed), internalized homophobia, slut shaming, blatant homophobia, bi! Nat, ambiguously queer reader
Quick note that I know almost nothing about sports in general, let alone soccer (I haven't played sports in 4 years and I haven't even touched a soccer ball since 2nd grade)
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Moving right before your senior year of high school was not your idea of a good time. Moving to a trailer park right before the start of your senior year was your nightmare.
Sure, you knew why you'd moved. Your dad had lost his job, and your mom wasn't in the picture. So, moving it was. Hopefully, your dad would find a new job, and at least here no one would know what happened. You didn't have much going for you, but you had that.
The only downside was, in fact, the trailer.
But you were determined to make the best of it. Make friends, get good grades, and not let anyone, literally anyone, find out where you lived. You just had to make it through one year. How hard could it be?
One small hitch in that plan was Natalie Scatorccio. She knew exactly where you lived. Because apparently the two of you were neighbors. Which was... not ideal.
Somehow, though, you'd made it through the entire first semester without word getting out about your housing situation. Your friends had no idea, and somehow you even managed to be somewhat popular.
"I'm thinking about joining the soccer team," you say offhandedly at lunch one day.
"I mean, it's not a bad idea. You played at your old school, right?" One of your friends asks, looking at you.
"Yeah, I was the goalie. I've heard they already have one, but I don't mind being second string." You shrug, picking at your lunch.
"Doesn't hurt to try! Plus, the team's like, really good. Not like you have anything to lose. Besides, you're probably better than the current goalie. I heard she's a total d-" Before she can finish the sentence, the bell for the end of lunch rings.
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Two days later, you're standing on the soccer field, listening to the head coach go over the rules and expectations for tryouts. Nothing you haven't heard before, so it's pretty harmless when you tune him out to scope out the players already on the team.
And- Shit, was that..?
Natalie. Your Neighbor.
Because of course it was. Honestly, she didn't seem like the type to play sports, let alone soccer. But you knew that you probably didn't look like a soccer player either, so it wasn't the most valid assumption.
Soon enough, you're being ushered into groups based on the position you're trying out for. There's only one other girl trying out for goalie, so you're fairly sure that you'll make the team. If only to play backup to the redhead that you'd seen in a couple of your classes.
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Tryouts go about as smoothly as expected, and you're even more confident about making the team by the end. The poor girl who was also trying out had clearly never played soccer in her life. You almost felt bad for her. Almost.
You weren't the best at any sort of dribbling or shooting drill, but that wasn't exactly necessary for the position of goalie. What you lacked in those skills was made up for in agility and your goalkeeping abilities.
Officially, though, you don't know if you've gotten the position for another week. Which, fine. It's not like you needed practices to start immediately or anything. You were just kind of bored. And maybe a little sick of your friends. But you could wait. It would at least give you time to prepare to interact with Natalie at practice.
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Two weeks later, you find yourself on the soccer field after school. As expected, you made the team. Also as expected, you weren't a starter. Which wasn't the worst possibility. At least you had made the team. And Van, the starting goalie, seemed really funny. She wasn't a bitch to you, either. Which was honestly unexpected. since you were her backup. Certainly seemed nicer than your friends.
Honestly, the whole team seemed nicer than your current friends. Sure, you could already tell that Jackie was going to be a lot to deal with, and Taissa was a bit intimidating. But that's better than complete assholes. Even Natalie at least seemed indifferent to you.
You're standing out on the field, talking to some other new recruits. And by talking, it was more like standing there and listening to them talk to each other. Almost everyone else had moved up from JV, while you were the only new student on the team. Everyone else knew each other, it seemed. It was kind of expected, though, and you had gotten used to being the new girl.
None of the other seniors really talked to you, each of them already having formed friend groups. You could see the factions now. Lottie, Taissa, and Van were all talking together. About what, you had no idea. Shauna and Jackie were practically attached at the hip, so there was no way you were going to be able to get in the middle of that. Natalie was nowhere to be seen, which didn't exactly surprise you. Which left Laura Lee, a sweet, devout Christian girl. You could work with that.
Before you could approach Laura Lee, though, Lottie walks up to you.
"Hi, you're the new girl, right? I'm Lottie, the starting center back." she's smiling, which is a good sign. It's a bit odd that she's talking to you, though, considering her reputation as the richest girl in school.
"Oh, hi. I'm y/n. Second string goalie." You smile back at her, trying to appear more confident than you're feeling. Despite being somewhat popular, you weren't really a fan of trying to navigate talking to new people, which is why you stuck with your friends despite you not always getting along with them.
"No offense, but I kind of already know who you are. Not everyone transfers schools their senior year." Lottie seems almost smug, but it's more confidence than anything. She knows how to charm people, that's for sure.
It feels like she knows exactly why you moved to Wiskayok, which is odd. No one knows why you moved except for you and your dad. And you certainly didn't tell her.
Despite the weird aura coming from her, Lottie actually seems really nice. As much as you want to trust her immediately, you know its probably best to keep your guard up, at least for the time being. Maybe if you get closer, you can explain your living situation.
Suddenly, you wonder if the Yellowjackets soccer team knows that Nat lives in the trailer park. It's a decently small town, and you assume that most of these girls have lived in Wiskayok for their entire lives. How did they take it when Nat revealed where she lived, if she did? Do they care? Has everyone just always known?
Lottie's looking at you kind of weird, and you realize you must have zoned out for longer than you thought. Before you can say anything, though, Coach Martinez has everyone pair up for drills. Lottie grabs your arm before you even have a second to think about who you'll pair with.
"You're with me, new girl. Van and Tai always pair up and leave me to partner with Nat, but not today. You're stuck with me." She's smiling, which puts you at ease. She's not as intimidating as she seems from afar.
She starts passing you the ball, and you silently wonder if maybe you're not supposed to be doing this drill, since you're a goalie. But Van's passing with Taissa, so you don't say anything. Besides, it's not like you're the coach.
You spend the rest of the drills paired with Lottie, until you have to be separated for your respective positions. It's weird, only having Van there with you. She's really talkative, though, which is a good distraction from your general nerves surrounding practice
"You've played before, right?" She's talking to you now, as you're shuffling back and forth for agility training.
"Yeah, all through high school," you reply, trying to focus on your footwork.
"How's it feel being second string your senior year?" She's clearly not being mean or insensitive. She honestly sounds a bit teasing, and you can appreciate that.
"Better than nothing." She laughs at that, and you feel like you won something. All of these girls seemed so nice. Maybe you'd be able to start ditching your friends.
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An hour and a half later, you're starting on your walk home. Silently, you're cursing yourself for showering in the locker room. You had hoped your dad would be able to pick you up, but he was working late. Which you appreciated, of course. But it was a little annoying.
Suddenly a shitty, old Toyota pulls up next to you. One that you recognize from the parking lot at school and the trailer down the street. Natalie.
"Need a ride?" She's looking at you through the open window, looking simultaneously bored and smug. Part of you wants to refuse, tell her to fuck off and leave you alone. But she doesn't seem to be pitying you, just genuinely asking if you want a ride home.
So, instead of ignoring her and walking to your trailer, you get in the damn car. Its not like she doesn't already know where you live.
Natalie doesn't say anything as she puts the car back into gear and starts driving. You're grateful for that, not exactly wanting to make small talk with her. She wasn't exactly the type that you'd normally hang around. Too rough around the edges, has too much of a reputation. Your friends wouldn't approve.
Nirvana is playing over the car's shitty speakers, and it's so typical of Natalie. You barely know the girl, yet you couldn't have guessed her music choices with more accuracy.
She's pulling up next to your trailer, and she looks over at you as you get out of the car.
"From now on, I'll drive you home." Natalie leaves no room for arguing, and you're not sure that you want to. Sure, she's not exactly someone you'd choose to spend a lot of time with. But she's not terrible, and driving home with Natalie definitely beats walking home by yourself.
You just give her a nod in response, not exactly sure how to react to a statement like that. And she wasn't exactly giving you an opportunity to say no.
Nat drives off, down the street to her own trailer, and you walk into yours.
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A month of soccer practice and rides home with Nat after, and the two of you are actually starting to become friends. The first two weeks, neither of you spoke, opting to just listen to whatever was on the radio. That is, until you finally got bored and started talking to her around the third week. Nothing crazy, just stuff about the team.
At this point, though, you've started talking about yourselves. What you like to do, how you feel about certain people. Nat's funny, and sarcastic, and honestly just someone you really like being around.
"Jackie's been driving me crazy this week. I get that our first game is on Saturday, but come on. It's not like I'm slacking off on purpose." She doesn't seem genuinely pissed off, just a bit annoyed. You have noticed that Jackie puts more pressure on Nat than almost anyone else on the team.
"Did you do something to piss her off?" you ask, looking at Nat as she drives.
"I mean, I showed up to homeroom high on Tuesday. But that doesn't mean I'm slacking at practice."
"I mean, I guess I can see why that would piss her off. It is kind of unwarranted, though. You've been practicing just as hard as everyone else."
She nods at that, and you fall into another comfortable silence for a few little while.
"Speaking of being high..." Natalie trails off, and you get a little giddy, although you don't show it. You'd been hoping that she would want to hang out outside of your car rides.
When you give her a little nod, she grins, looking triumphant. Clearly, she wanted to be around you just as much as you wanted to be around her.
Instead of dropping you off at your trailer like usual, she brings you to hers.
"My mom's probably asleep or staring at the TV, so we won't have to worry about her." Natalie gets out of the car, gesturing for you to join her. She doesn't say anything about her dad, and you know why, even if no she hasn't told you. It was hard to avoid the rumors, how people would look at her sometimes.
Honestly, it didn't matter to you if the rumors were true or not. Natalie wasn't the sort of person to resort to violence without good reason. And from what you heard, she would've had a very good reason.
You climb out of the car and follow her through the trailer, into her bedroom. It's so Nat, with posters all over the walls, stacks of CD's on her desk and on the floor. A beat-up acoustic guitar sits in the corner, and you make a mental note of it. Clothes are in piles all over the floor, but you honestly couldn't care less about the state of her room. It felt good, to be somewhere lived in. To be around someone that understood your living situation
Natalie sits down on the edge of her bed, smiling at you. The gesture was enough to make you feel a bit more comfortable, and you found yourself sitting down next to her.
"Have you smoked before?" She pulls out an old Altoids container, opening it up to pull out one of the pre-rolled joints inside.
You shake your head no, pulling your legs up on the bed so you can sit more comfortably.
"No. Well, once I took a hit from some guy at a party, but it was shit and I couldn't stop choking."
Nat laughs at that, lighting up the blunt as the two of you talk.
"That's probably because you just took a hit and had no idea what you were doing. Watch what I do." She makes sure that you're looking at her before inhaling the smoke from the blunt, holding it in for a few seconds before exhaling. "You're gonna want to cough your first couple of hits. That's normal."
She held the joint out to you, and when you took it, your fingers brushed together. The contact you feel weird, but you chalked it up to the nerves of smoking weed for the first time. This kind of thing wasn't normally something that you'd do.
Tentatively, you brought the blunt to your lips and took a hit. The smoke burned your throat as you inhaled, but you managed to keep from coughing. Nat grins as she notices you holding back a cough, and she holds her hand out for the joint.
You pass it back to her, this time trying to keep your hands from touching. Natalie takes another hit, longer this time, and part of you wants to just stare at her.
As soon as that thought crosses your mind, you immediately snap out of it. You don't want to stare at her, she's your friend. People don't stare at their friends. Get a grip.
Nat holds on to the joint for a little longer this time, taking a couple more hits before she offers it back to you. This time, you get a bit bolder, taking a deeper pull. It takes you a little more effort to keep from coughing, but you manage it.
The two of you stay like that a while, passing the joint back and forth between each other, just enjoying the fuzzy feeling of being high, and enjoying each other's company. At some point, Nat puts a record on, something grungy that you recognize, but don't remember the name of.
You're lying flat on your back in the middle of the floor, and Nat looks down at you, clearly holding back a laugh.
"You doin' okay?" She lightly kicks your shoulder, trying to get you to have some sort of reaction. You nod in response, completely zoned out. The floor just feels so nice.
She looks good, you think. Something about the way she was a bit messy was so beautiful for her. You chalk these thoughts up to the weed, to never really being friends with someone that looks like Nat.
"Can you talk?" Nat's full-on laughing now, obviously finding your position hilarious.
"Do you want me to?"
"Just seeing if you could."
You're not egregiously high or anything, a nice buzz, really. Part of you knows that you should probably go home soon, make sure your dad isn't wondering where you are.
There's just something comforting about Nat's bedroom, about being around someone in the same situation as you. There's no judgement, no fear.
You do end up leaving, eventually. Once your eyes are no longer red and the smell of weed has mostly dissipated. Nat walks you to your trailer, claiming that she's better at defending herself. You don't have it in you to argue. Plus, it's nice that she still wants to spend time with you.
She walks you up to the door, and the two of you stand there awkwardly for a moment, waiting for the other to say something.
"See you tomorrow?" Nat almost looks nervous, like you're going to say no for some reason.
"Yeah, see you tomorrow." With that, you smile and walk inside.
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It had been a few weeks since you first smoked with Natalie, and it had become a routine for the two of you. Go to practice, drive to Nat's trailer, and light up.
You should've known your friends would notice at some point.
"How's soccer, y/n?" one of your friends stares pointedly at you, like she knows something. Something you don't even know.
"Oh, it's going really well! The girls on the team are all so nice, and we all play really well together." You stay as natural as possible, trying to gauge what's happening.
"That's sweet," she remarks, in a tone you know means she thinks it's anything but sweet.
"You've been hanging out with the slut a lot recently," another girl chimes in, "Is there something that you wanted to tell us?"
You nearly choke on your water when she says that, and you're sure that you must have misheard her.
"Who?" It takes a moment to compose yourself, looking over at your friend.
"You know who I'm talking about. The burnout? The slut?" When you still look confused, she rolls her eyes, h8uffing at your obliviousness. "Natalie Scatorccio? Pretty sure she's fucked half the school. And it isn't entirely the male half."
Now it's your turn to roll your eyes, but you don't say anything to defend Nat. You know that you should, that she's your friend. But fighting with these girls could cause them to turn on you. And you were hiding too many things for that to happen.
For some reason, your friends don't push further. Why, you're not sure. But you sure aren't going to push it.
Everyone goes back to talking about other things, boyfriends, movies, music. You aren't interested, though. You're too busy thinking about what your friend said. About Nat not just sleeping with guys. Was she gay? She hadn't said anything to you.
Did that mean you had a chance?
Wait. You didn't want a chance with her. You weren't into girls. That was weird. It didn't matter that you felt at home with her, or liked the way she'd laugh at your shitty jokes, or talk about her favorite musicians for hours. You weren't into girls. You weren't into Nat.
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Practice was weird. You kept fucking up, which wasn't at all normal for you. Coach Scott even started yelling at you, which was a blow.
It got so bad that Coach Martinez kept you after practice to run laps, and you expected that Nat would have left by the time you finished. Instead, you found her waiting by her car, looking concerned.
"Hey, are you okay? You seemed really out of it today," she asks, clearly worried about you.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. My friends just said some shit at lunch today, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it."
"What did they say?" And she looks so upset that you want to tell her, but you just can't. You don't want her to confirm that she's gay, but for some reason, you don't want her to tell you she isn't, either.
"Just being assholes. Honestly, I don't know why I'm friends with them. I don't like them very much. Or at all."
Natalie laughs at that, and you feel a little bit better.
"You could, I don't know, not be friends with them anymore?"
"I mean, I could. But you're my only friend besides them. Plus, if I piss 'em off too bad, they'll make my life hell. Not taking that chance."
Nat nods, seemingly understanding.
"Would just hanging out with me all the time really be that bad?" She's obviously joking, but you can't help but imagine, just being around Natalie all the time. Smoking, listening to music, making out-
Wait, what?
There's no way, right? No way that you want to kiss a girl, let alone Nat. Let alone make out with her. You're straight. Always had been, always will be. You were normal. You liked boys. Not girls. Didn't matter how pretty Natalie was. Kissing her was weird. And wrong.
You laugh, trying to shake that image from your head. One person says that Nat may be gay, and all of a sudden you're losing your mind. You aren't gay.
"No, It wouldn't be that bad. Could be kinda fun."
Your mood has lifted significantly from just being in the car with Nat, and you think about what could happen if you just... ditched your friends.
Today is one of the rare days where your dad is home in time for dinner, so Nat drops you off at your own trailer today.
"If they're dicks again, tell me. I'll kick their asses." She's grinning at you, and you stare at her for a moment before it hits you.
You're in love with her. Absolutely whipped. And there's absolutely nothing you can do to stop it.
Instead of a response, you give a tight-lipped smile before basically sprinting into your trailer.
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Going to school the next day might be the most difficult thing that you've ever done. Even more difficult than pretending everything was normal over dinner with your dad the night before.
At least today, your dad could take you to school, and you didn't have to face Nat. And you didn't have practice that afternoon, so you really didn't have to see her much. Which was ideal. You didn't know how you'd be able to deal with being around her. Especially being alone with her.
Your morning is uneventful, and for once, your friends are actually a good distraction. Talking about new movies, new music, being generally entertaining instead of annoying.
Unfortunately, Nat is still driving you home. And there's nothing you can do to avoid it, unless you want to walk. Which you definitely don't.
You're quiet the whole ride, and you know Natalie can tell that something's off. The good thing about Nat, though, is that she wouldn't push. She had her own secrets, and she didn't expect you to share yours.
"D'you want to smoke?" You want to say yes so badly, to just spend as much time with her as possible. Yet there's this fear that the weed will make you spill your secret, and you just can't do that.
You weren't supposed to like her. You weren't supposed to want her. And there was no way in hell she was ever going to know that you did. Never.
"Can't. I have to study." It's a bad lie, and you know it. Nat does, too. But she doesn't call you on it, even though you can tell that she wants to.
"Yeah, alright. See you, then." By now, you've pulled up to your trailer, and you thank her before getting out of the car. It almost hurt to leave her. There was just no conceivable way that you'd be able to act normal around her, especially if you were high.
As soon as you're in your room, you just lose it. You don't get how one girl can have you undone so quickly, but somehow Nat did it. And you hated it. You weren't supposed to want her like that. It was wrong.
Pulling your blanket up to your shoulders, you just cry. You have no idea how to deal with this, how to make yourself normal again. What would people think? What would your friends think? What would your dad think?
What would Nat think? Would she think you were weird for liking girls? Would she judge you? Would she be grossed out that you were into her, of all people?
Of course, there was the high possibility that she was queer. Sure, she hadn't said anything explicit, but there was a vibe about her. Not to mention all the rumors.
Despite the comfort of Natalie potentially being gay, you couldn't keep from crying. You knew mascara was staining your pillow, but you couldn't quite care.
The rest of the night was spent crying, until you eventually cry yourself to sleep.
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Two weeks.
Two weeks of pretending that you weren't in love with Nat, two weeks of pretending you weren't gay, two weeks of struggling by yourself.
You couldn't tell anyone, and it was absolutely killing you.
Sure, you thought about telling Van. You noticed the way that she looked at Taissa. But telling someone made it real. Telling someone solidified the abnormality of you.
So, you kept it to yourself. Sure, it was torture. But at least it was safe.
Nat was still driving you too and from school, and you had gotten the courage to smoke with her again. Things were almost normal, despite you knowing that they weren't.
Today was different, though. And you could feel it.
The weird part was that the difference wasn't with Nat. The ride to school was the same as always. Both of you quiet, still waking up.
No, the weird part was your friends. As soon as you got to school, you could tell that something was off with them. Everyone was giving you weird looks, and they were all barely talking to you. It scared you, the thought of them finding out your secret.
Turns out that they did figure your secret out. Just not the one that you thought.
"Surprised you can afford food," one girl says as you sit down at your usual lunch table.
"What?" You're confused. Why would they think that you can't afford to eat?
"You know, it's just that usually people with your... financial status... get free lunch. That doesn't look like free lunch." She smiles, a sickly sweet sort of look that makes your stomach drop.
You're silent, not exactly knowing what to say in this situation.
"Oh, don't be embarrassed! It's not your fault that you're trailer trash," another girl chimes in, that same fake kind look on her face.
It takes so much strength to keep from completely breaking down, knowing that if you did, they'd just get worse.
"Is that why you never want to go shopping with us?" A different voice is added to the mix, and you hate that they have this kind of power over you.
They keep berating you, insulting your trailer, your clothes, your lack of a car. Even your looks get commented on, and you hate it more than anything.
How they even found out where you lived was a mystery to you. You were so careful, and Nat would never tell them. She knew how badly you wanted to keep your living situation under wraps.
Eventually, lunch does end, but you don't go to class. There's absolutely no way that you could face anyone. Not your now ex-friends, and absolutely not Natalie.
Instead, you hide in the bathroom, spending the remaining two class periods locked in a stall. You know that you'll have to see Nat when she drives you home, but being alone for an hour and a half will hopefully give you enough time to calm down before you have to see her.
You cry. Of course you cry. Your life is falling down around you, and you're sitting in a bathroom stall. There's nothing to do but cry. You cry over your friends being horrible, you cry about the trailer you're living in, you cry about leaving your old friends behind to move. Mostly, though, you cry about being in love with a girl.
It's midway through last period when you pull yourself together, and by the time your face is back to its normal color, you've got ten minutes to get looking like yourself.
It doesn't take long to fix your makeup, and by the time the final bell rings, you look normal. Nat won't be able to tell that you were crying in the bathroom for half the day.
When you walk out to her car, Nat's waiting for you. As soon as she sees you coming, it's like she knows that something's wrong. She doesn't say anything, but she changes the music to something that she knows you like, which is her equivalent to giving you a hug.
While you appreciate the gesture, it just makes you lose it all over again. You're in the passenger seat of Nat's car, sobbing for the second time today.
"Shit, are you okay? What's wrong?" She glances over at you, still driving. "Do you need me to pull over?"
You shake your head in response, urging her to keep driving. It's impossible for you to get words out through your tears, and Nat doesn't try to get you to talk anymore. Instead, she drives you to your trailer and walks you inside.
Natalie leads you to to your bedroom, sitting you on your bed. For the first time in your friendship, she wraps her arms around you and gives you a real hug.
The contact doesn't keep you from crying, in fact it almost makes it worse. But you feel safe in her arms, like the words from your former friends can't touch you here. You have the vague thought that your mascara is staining Natalie's shirt, but she doesn't seem to care.
Both of you stay like that until you stop crying, Nat holding onto you like you're the only thing in the world that matters. Its uncharacteristically soft for her, and it feels special. Like you're someone she trusts with softness.
When you're finally calm enough, you pull away from her and start to explain what happened. Her arm stays around your waist, and you don't attempt to move it.
"My- my friends, they, uh, they found out... where I live." You're stuttering and tripping over what you're saying, and luckily Nat gets it from just those words.
"And they were asses about it?" she asks, and you nod. Her grip on your waist tightens, and she looks pissed.
"You don't deserve that shit. It's not like you can control where you live. Not to mention you're twice the person any of those girls will ever be." Nat somehow pulls you closer, and you feel such a strange mix of emotions.
"That- isn't everything." Maybe it's the contact, maybe it's how sweet she's being right now. Maybe you're just sick of hiding.
"What else?"
"I think I'm gay." The words come out in a rush, and you're not sure Natalie even understood what you were saying. That is, until she responds.
"Why do you think that?" Her response isn't at all judgmental, and you feel a little better saying your next words.
"I like a girl."
Natalie laughs, and for a moment, you internally freak out. Is this where the judgment comes in?
"Yeah, I guess that'll do it."
You can't help but laugh at her answer, and everything feels so much better. As much as you're grateful that she's not asking who the girl is, you almost want to tell her that it's her. Almost.
"I thought you might hate me."
"For being gay? You know I'm bi, right? Bisexual?"
The confirmation doesn't exactly shock you, but it's still a bit of a surprise. How easily she says it.
"I didn't. Know that."
"Surprise, I guess. I'm queer too."
"Did you... feel weird about it? Like when you first... figured it out, I guess."
She nods, and you feel a sense of relief. That you weren't the only one who found your own queerness a bit jarring.
Natalie doesn't try to reassure you that you're normal, that there's nothing wrong with you. She knows it's not going to make anything better immediately.
You sit in comfortable silence for a while, just decompressing from the insanity of your day. That is, until you speak up.
"I can't believe I told you that." The panic had started to set in at this point, and you regretted saying anything to Nat.
"It's not like I'm going to tell anyone, dude."
"Yeah." That makes you feel a bit better, although you're still freaking out a bit. You look up at her, giving a small smile, and there's a look on her face that you can't exactly put your finger on.
For some reason, neither of you seem to be able to look away from the other. It's almost as if you're in a trance, or like someone put a spell on you.
Suddenly, the two of you were kissing. It happened so quickly that neither of you could say who initiated the kiss, but neither of you pulled a way.
Nat's lips were chapped, and a bit rough against your own. Despite that, the kiss was soft. Something you didn't exactly expect from Natalie. One of her hands is still on your hip, and the other moves to run through your hair. Your own hands cup her cheeks, feeling her soft, pale skin under your fingers.
Every thought of how wrong loving Natalie is leaves your head. It's like she's kissing away all of your fears, and you're so grateful to her.
Eventually, you break apart so you can take a breath, and Natalie looks so beautiful. Somehow even better than she normally does.
"So, the girl you like..?" Natalie's smirking, and she clearly knows that you were talking about her.
In lieu of a response, you roll your eyes and flip her off. She laughs, clearly enjoying fucking with you. You aren't annoyed, not really. You're too giddy for that.
Nat pulls you down onto your bed so that you're lying down next to each other, and you feel so content in that moment.
"You know those girls are the worst, right?" You can tell that Nat is both trying to make you laugh and being completely genuine.
"Yeah."
"Good. You deserve to be treated better than that."
You nod and press a quick kiss to her lips, as if to say "thank you." She grins, pulling you into her side.
"Feeling like smoking now?"
#yellowjackets#yellowjackets showtime#natalie scatorccio#natalie x reader#teen natalie#natalie scatorccio x reader#nat scatorccio#nat scatorccio x reader#natalie scatorccio x you#nat scatorccio x you#natalie yellowjackets#yellowjackets x reader
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Vide Noir's dual narrative structure
All right, here it is, me making good on at least one of my meta threats. Lord Huron's album Vide Noir can be interpreted as an album with two parallel, contrasting narratives - that of the lead protagonist Buck Vernon, as well as that of Johnnie Redmayne.
Disclaimer: this is an interpretation I think is pretty sound and well-reasoned, but I make no claim to any of this being proven canon information.
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For those unfamiliar or who need a reminder, the primary narrative is this: the year is 1967, and we start near the end of Buck's journey, as he awakens from being black-brained (Lost in Time and Space). Having just suffered an overdose on the drug vide noir, his memories are slow to return to him, but return they do - his fiancee, Leigh/Lee Green (from here on Leigh but both spellings have been used), left him without a word one night, and he decided to follow, heading west to Los Angeles from their home town of Detroit, Michigan. He's been struggling to find her, checking every bar in the city in case she was booked to sing at one as her move was the result of her chasing her dream of becoming a singer. He doesn't remember a lot about himself, really, after that overdose, but he remembers her, and his love for her makes him desperate to find her.
We're then taken back to the night he left to find her (Never Ever) and his journey is mostly linear from there - he meets a fortune teller, Lady Moonbeam, who tells him that pursuing Leigh will end in his ruin, but he refuses to accept her advice and pushes on (Ancient Names I & II). He laments that he's been some kind of fuckup, that maybe he chased Leigh away through his own behavior, but that he still loves her and begs for her to return (Wait By the River). At some point around here he also learns of the drug vide noir and contemplates using it himself for clues.
(Note that unlike in the movie, in the album, nothing suggests that Buck suffered from a murder attempt by Z'Oiseau's henchmen but that instead he may have overdosed himself in an attempt to find Lee. However, there's plenty of reason to suspect that the film is the canon interpretation here anyway and the henchmen kidnapping Buck just doesn't make for a song I guess.)
One way or another, he winds up black-brained, where some deep existential truths of the universe are revealed to him (Secret of Life - namely that everyone and everything dies in the end, and that a human life is brief, fleeting, and ultimately meaningless within the context of the universe as a whole). He somehow reawakens rather than dying (Back from the Edge) and, again, understands that nothing he does will ever matter, has never mattered*, but that *even though* he's suffered greatly already on this quest, he's still committed to trying to find Leigh, pitting himself against that careless universe (The Balancer's Eye).
So he keeps searching (When the Night is Over) until he finds a clue, or a helping hand of some sort, that leads him on the right path to his beloved Leigh (Moonbeam). We get one more reminder of the forces at work here - vide noir is some awful stuff, it nearly killed him, Leigh herself is hooked on it now, it shows you terrible truths and nightmares beyond human comprehension (Vide Noir) - and when all is said and done, as Buck thinks he's about to "rescue" Leigh from her fate and bring her back to his fantasy of a perfect happy life together, she rejects him. He came all this way through time and space, and she doesn't love him at all in the end (Emerald Star).
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I consider this the primary narrative here because it makes use of all the songs on the album, it has a clear start and ending and a mostly linear structure, and the album basically serves as a soundtrack to Buck's fool's errand. The film agrees - every scene is centered around his journey, after all. But we have context from Lord Huron's other albums, as well as the lyrics and musical stylings of multiple songs on Vide Noir, that show us that Buck isn't necessarily the only narrator on this album. Strange Trails, of course, came out three years prior, and features songs by multiple fictional bands performing songs which serve as narration for a diverse cast of characters. Unlike on Strange Trails, where each track has a writer or band specifically named and assigned to it as well as a character narrative, Vide Noir does not give us such conclusive information, but we can still put clues together to understand at least some of who the in-universe performers might be on Vide Noir.
Most likely, multiple of these songs are by the Buck Vernon Band - this is pretty obvious. Buck's semi-autobiographical music is all over Strange Trails, usually referencing a girl he loves, sometimes referencing that the girl left him, often giving her different names, all starting with L (Fool For Love's "Lily", and "Louisa").
But the other band that we can easily identify as performers on Vide Noir are the Phantom Riders. For those who need an introduction, this is the band composed of four members of the World Enders gang, with Dale Redmayne at the helm as lead writer. They were seen previously on Strange Trails as well, with banger surf/rockabilly hits like Hurricane, Until the Night Turns, and The World Ender. As a storytelling tool, they are primarily brought in to tell us about the man-turned-undead horror entity known as The World Ender himself, and then otherwise mostly we get their songs about Dale's brother Johnnie Redmayne, who is introduced to us in Strange Trails as a fun-loving and presumably fairly young guy, a thrillseeker and hedonist, who lives for the moment as if the world could end any day. The Buck Vernon Band jumps in between some of these songs with an interjection to tell us that wait, Johnnie is dead, or was, but he got back up. In Dead Man's Hand, Buck speculates that Johnnie could have been murdered or may have killed himself, accidentally or intentionally, upon first seeing him. It's in Vide Noir that we actually learn more about the circumstances of Johnnie's death.
Before we get to that, let's first identify which Vide Noir songs are by the Phantom Riders. This isn't all that hard to do. Any song that references The World Ender is presumably theirs - that gives us Secret of Life right away ("I sit alone in the dark, and I try to remember the words you spoke when you summoned the Ender"). This is reinforced in the Alive From Whispering Pines webseries, episode 423 - Secret of Life, when played, shows a skeleton prop the band has jokingly referred to as Cobb Avery on their social media posts in the past, and after the song ends in this episode, the tune continues in a slowed and distorted fashion through a clip of a WBUB movie version of Dead Man's Hand showing Johnnie rising from the pavement when Buck is about to bury him.
Ancient Names Parts I and II are presumably written by the same band as a two-part song. In the Vide Noir film, the Phantom Riders are performing Part II in the underground club. Additionally, in Alive From Whispering Pines episode 426, after Tubbs Tarbell is done reminiscing about the band and their nihilism, Ancient Names Part II is the next song covered - and often in this series, the structure of the segments between songs are intentional and related to either the song they precede or the song they follow, so it's likely that the placement of the Phantom Riders' appearance followed by a track they're associated with is meant to help confirm them as the performers. In addition, Ancient Names Part I references a fortune teller, and we know from the film that the fortune teller in question, Lady Moonbeam, is associated with the World Enders and knows the Redmaynes.
The last track on Vide Noir that is most likely theirs is the title track, Vide Noir. We have two points of evidence for this - one lyrical ("Many evils have I enjoyed, prowling the night raising hell with the boys" which feels like a pretty direct reference to the World Enders' nighttime violence) and one musical - the main melody of Vide Noir is identical to that of Ancient Names (and Fortune Teller's Theme, actually). In Strange Trails, using the same melody for multiple songs was an easy way to tie Frankie Lou's songs together, and here we can see that it ties two Phantom Riders tracks together directly, indicating that not only are they both by the same band, but that Vide Noir is a followup to Ancient Names part I, in which our fortune teller did warn us things would go very, very wrong.
(And besides all of that, the Phantom Riders tracks on Vide Noir all tend to be similar in musical style - psychedelia-flavored garage rock with a heavy bass line, in contrast to other songs on the album.)
With those songs identified, we should also be aware of just how much Lord Huron seem to love their dual narratives. In Strange Trails, we have a really concrete example of this with The Night We Met. This song was in-universe written by Frankie Lou, presumably about her doomed relationship with Z'Oiseau and how much she wishes she had never met him to begin with (as she echoes in her dialogue in the Vide Noir film when speaking to Buck in her dressing room). However, the music video for this song shows not Frankie and Z'Oiseau, but instead Buck, driving west, while reflecting on his own failure to keep Leigh, wishing he could go back in time and fix things, and meanwhile kind of hallucinating her as he goes. In the album Long Lost, we get another dual narrative in I Lied, which is performed by Donny and Midge but is also sung by Leigh in Vide Noir, foreshadowing her breakup with and lack of love for Buck. There are certainly other dual narratives in both of those albums to be found as well - so what we should keep in mind here is that often, songs can be written and performed by a character or band in order to narrate for themselves or someone close to them, but that just as in our real-world movie soundtracks or our favorite character playlists on spotify, those songs can be applied to other characters in different (but somewhat similar) situations than the ones they were written for.
So! We have four Phantom Riders tracks on Vide Noir, all of which were presumably not written originally in-universe about Buck Vernon, because why would they be, Buck and the World Enders only briefly cross paths and at the very least we know that Ancient Names Part II was written well before he ever met them. Instead, it makes the most sense if like the bulk of the Phantom Riders songs, these tracks serve Johnnie's narration instead.
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If that's the case, what does that give us? Winding around and through Buck's journey is this second storyline. Johnnie Redmayne, having used and enjoyed vide noir himself abundantly ("I had a vision tonight that the world was ending" as one probable example), decides it's time to get his hands on bulk quantities so as to get the Enders in on controlling the flow of the drug in LA rather than letting Z'Oiseau maintain a monopoly, thereby also increasing revenue for the members of the gang.
It's Moonbeam who warns him to knock it off first. We know, thanks to the film, that he'd spoken to her at some point about his plans to investigate the source of the drug at Tobey's arcade and try to get his hands on some to sell. Whatever his exact plan was, in Ancient Names Part 1, Moonbeam warns him that pursuing this is going to get him killed. Vide noir isn't just a drug, it's something extremely dangerous, tied to dangerous people, and he needs to get away from "her" (and note that frequently throughout music history, drugs have been personified as a "her" or an unnamed lover, whether for poetic reasons or to evade censorship that might come from talking directly about drug use - and Cursed, off Strange Trails, is one more in-universe example, where "her" refers both to Leigh Green and to drug use, specifically vide noir).
Immediately afterward, Ancient Names Part 2, in addition to serving as a very classic sort of World Enders nihilism anthem, can easily be interpreted as Johnnie saying "fuck that, I do what I want, you only live one life anyway and even if it kills me, I want to make my mark before I go out." Death is something hypothetical - sure, it'll get him some day, it gets everyone, and maybe Moonbeam is even right, but he isn't going to let her warning stop him.
On Strange Trails, Buck and Johnnie cross paths at Dead Man's Hand. On this album they only cross thematically, and the pivotal moment of intersection might be Secret of Life. This song may be the point at which Buck learns some forbidden secrets revealed by taking vide noir as discussed above, but its lyrics speak a lot more specifically to Johnnie's experience, implying some connection between him, vide noir, and the World Ender.
It may be that as we see with Buck in the film, perhaps Johnnie too has suffered the effects of being black-brained prior to taking it due to the time and space-bending effects of the drug (notice, for example, in Strange Trails we get Johnnie's story in a scrambled chronological order) and here he's confronted with the harsh truths of what those past visions of his possible future mean for him: he has been set on a path that is no longer avoidable due to his eventual future overdose. So perhaps it's at this point that he acknowledges that he is going to die sooner rather than later and that his life and death will not have meant anything to the greater cosmos, but this information, which was new to Buck, is not something Johnnie fears. Johnnie is hardly new to this point of view. He's seen past echoes of the knowledge imparted by vide noir throughout his life, both in his future visions of the end of the world (again see Until The Night Turns) and in the knowledge passed on through other World Enders, including their own motto ("The fair, the brave, the good must die", or in Secret of Life here, "The darkness comes for all of us").
(As an aside, there's still a lot to unravel with Secret of Life that I haven't touched on here. It's a fascinating song with some really mysterious lyrics. I've speculated at length in the LH discord about some additional interpretations this song could yield but won't veer off topic here.)
And yet despite what looks like a very certain and dire end, Johnnie maintains hope that perhaps he, too, will live past this. Because if Cobb Avery did, why can't he? This is part of the gang's core mythos - their founder is a dead man. He clawed his way back out of the grave for revenge, they thought it was just so fucking cool that he was unkillable that they had to join him, and together they dismantled the Winthrop Corporation, one murder at a time. When the police finally caught up to him, they lynched him - but the noose did nothing, for he was already dead, and now in the form of a skeleton, he called the gang to his side (see Strange Trails: The World Ender comic book). In the ensuing chaos, he flees, the gang heads west and relocates to east Los Angeles, and in the time contemporary with the events of Vide Noir, he is still present among them but this appears to be unknown to the public (Daily Trails prop, by Kim Berens, used in both Vide Noir and Alive From Whispering Pines where it was modified to Ten years later).
Whether The World Ender is readily visible to and known by most members of the gang at this point is unknown, but we know that those who were black-brained can see him (in the film, Buck sees him approaching, bumps into him, plunges into a hallucination of his own future, and when he comes too, the Ender is gone). Given the Secret of Life lyrics, it's reasonable to guess that Johnnie at least can see the World Ender just fine and one way or another, in speaking with him and in conjunction with consuming vide noir, has learned enough secret knowledge to make some kind of choice - and this is what later enables him, too, to drag his way back to the world of the living.
Fate catches up to Johnnie and as we learn in the film, his death was at the hands of Z'Oiseau's henchmen for trying to gain access to dealing in vide noir. Like Buck, he is black-brained - forced to swallow enough of the drug to kill him. And so the track Vide Noir opens with the Fortune Teller's Theme previously heard in Ancient Names Part 1, and that tune is woven through the track - Moonbeam's "I warned you, I told you so" to both of these fools who disregarded her advice. Although, again, the lyrics are clearly meant primarily to narrate for Johnnie - "Many evils have I enjoyed, prowling the night raising hell with the boys, getting high on a pure black void" sounds a lot more like what Johnnie gets up to than Buck. We are given a glimpse of his last words and final thoughts as life slips away and his consciousness is sent straight to the final edge of the cosmos.
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So ultimately, this is what we're left with:
Vide Noir is an album that tells the story of Buck Vernon, whose fiancee has left him. His journey culminates in a near-brush with death, in finding Leigh, and in learning that she does not love him and that he's nothing, his life is worth nothing more than dust and that none of it mattered or will ever matter, that once he eventually dies he will vanish and be forgotten in time.
Vide Noir also tells the story of Johnnie Redmayne, who for once tries to do something that isn't just for his own hedonistic pleasure but that might actually help bring in money to support his friends and family, but he's too headstrong and impulsive to listen to the warnings he's given, and is killed in the attempt.
One lives who probably shouldn't have and comes out at rock bottom and now has to work out how to move on from here, and one dies a nihilist who should presumably just accept the inevitability of death, but has the knowledge and absolute stubborn determination to enable his eventual return, following in the footsteps of Cobb Avery.
And what happens to both of them afterward? Well, we don't know. Hopefully some day (SOON?? BEN PLEASE) we'll get the opportunity to find out!
#lord huron#vide noir#strange trails#buck vernon#johnnie redmayne#you guys I just blasted a lot of this onto the page over the course of two nights and have only re-read it a couple times fyi#this is stuff I've been ruminating on for well over a year now and wanted to put down in writing for sharing and input#again let me be clear that this is my personal interpretation and while I think it's well-supported it is not exactly confirmed canon lmao#so don't treat it like gospel#I'm gonna go eat food now and nurse this headache
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hiii! so i saw your post about the prompts so a random number i would say 81 with hyunjin
thank you 🫶🏻
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Writing Prompt 81 - A prince sleeps with the pirate captain to get them out of the city AU - Hyunjin
Word count: 4.7k words
Wattpad | AO3
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Writing Prompt 81: A prince sleeps with the pirate captain to get them out of the city AU – Hyunjin
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“So, how much longer until we’d get to the Capital?” Seraphine asks, her eyes burning with excitement, auburn as her hair.
“We’re almost there, Captain. Should be getting there in about 3 days’ time. If not for this storm…” One of her subordinates – Felix – answers, briefly glancing outside through the small round window in Seraphine’s cabin.
“It’s fine. We’ve sailed on rougher waters. Ah, I can’t wait to see the Capital. They say it’s the most beautiful city in the continent. I can already picture us roaming around and taking everything we deserve. Do you think ships can sink from too much gold on board?” She chuckles with amusement.
“I doubt it, Miss.” Felix chuckles.
“I’ve heard the Capital is famous for their rare spices. Saffron and anise are native to this part of the continent, after all. We need to make sure to get our hands on them to get even richer once we live this place.” Seraphine contemplates out loud.
“We’re not even there yet and you’re already thinking of what to do when we leave.”
“Why, of course! I need to know what our next move is, always.”
“That’s why we’ve chosen you to be Captain, Miss.”
“Anyway.” She waves her hand around dismissively. “Any news on the imperial navy? I hope those plans still stand and we’d be able to get to the port without any fights.”
“I hope so too.” He chuckles. “They shouldn’t be stationed near the port unless they’ve discovered it. It’s quite stressful, isn’t it?”
“Yeah. But we need to do this, Lix.”
“I know…” Felix looks away briefly. “We’ll take our revenge, don’t worry. Those bastards will pay for what they did to our families.”
“We’ll make sure of that.” Seraphine nods.
“I’m afraid we’re biting off more than we can chew, though…” He hesitates.
“I’m not. This is what we’ve prepared for our whole lives, Felix.” She reassures him, and both of them stay in silence as the ship goes through the large waves, passing through the thunderstorm.
~
Fortunately, the pirate ships arrived at the secret port safely, and all the plans Seraphine’s father made were still actual.
It’s the perfect moment to strike, when news of the King falling ill started spreading throughout the continent. Seraphine knows this is the best time to cause havoc and steal to her heart’s content, to take back just a little bit of what the Kingdom took away from her family.
Her father used to be a simple man, working on fishing boats to bring in the Capital’s largest supply of fresh seafood, and, if lucky, of oysters and pearls. He was an honest, respectable worker, always on time to deliver the goods no matter the season, but although he was respected throughout the Capital, he was still just that. A regular man.
His demise was falling in love with a woman. Seraphine’s mother was part of one of the most elite families of the Kingdom, who, of course, would’ve never accepted a poor man dating, let alone marrying one of their daughters.
Her father fought tooth and nail for their love, and so did Seraphine’s mother, but when she fell pregnant out of wedlock, her family turned their backs on her and started interfering with his work. He got fired in no time, and no matter where he’d try to find a job to feed his pregnant girlfriend, he would get rejected.
Her mother was faced with two choices: give birth to the baby and give it away in order to be allowed back into her family – although her chances of marrying a reputable man were non-existent to say the least, considering her past history – or give up on her life as nobility and struggle. She chose the latter.
With no job in sight and a family to feed, Seraphine’s father had to resort to critical measures. He began working off the books on a couple of smaller ships, and when even that failed to bring in enough gold, he had to do something else. He found a band of pirates willing to take him in due to his experience on the sea.
He became part of their crew in no time and things were good for a while. Despite fighting his principles of being honest, he embraced his new lifestyle of stealing and smuggling goods in and out of the Capital. The happiness didn’t last much, though, because when the King found out of all the misdemeanours caused by the pirates, he banished them all from the Capital. He was forced to run away with Seraphine’s mother, who was 8 months pregnant at the time.
Times were rough, and the seas were even rougher. With no proper care and no possibility to access any type of healthcare on land, Seraphine’s mother died giving birth to her, and her father, blinded by grief, swore on his life that he will take revenge on everyone who turned their backs on them: the nobility, the Kingdom… he swore to come back one day and wreck as much of the Capital as he could.
Grief is a way too profound emotion… it wraps time. Her father got stuck in this never-ending circle of hatred, his life ambition becoming solely taking revenge. He ended up becoming Captain of the pirates and grew their riches as much as he could, in order to ensure having a formidable fleet to return secretly to the Capital.
He planned and planned for years, each crew member aware of his schemes and totally on board, as all of them held a grudge against the nobility. They all shared similar stories, similar fates.
However, life is sometimes way too short to fulfil all your plans, and Seraphine’s father ended up losing his after an on-going battle with a mysterious sickness that rendered him bed-ridden in the last years of his life.
Even after he was gone, the pirates’ hatred still remained, and his ambitions lived on. Seraphine ended up following in her father’s steps, becoming the youngest Captain this band of pirates has ever had, and ever since, they’ve began crafting their plan together, building from where her father left off.
They would start slow, a couple of petty thefts here and there, until they’d make their way to the larger businesses and burn them to the ground.
The plan was almost flawless, and with the pirates finally back in the Capital after more than 20 years away, they were ready to execute it. It’d be the biggest they’d ever strike.
~
“Feels good to step on land after so many months.” Seraphine exclaims, stretching her limbs.
“Right? Ahh, I missed it.” Felix smiles sincerely. “I can’t believe we’re finally here.”
“Don’t go too far, Lix. You and I need to stay near the ships, alright?”
“Got it, Miss!” Felix reassures, but still ends up disappearing after a while.
He’s always been a curious child, Seraphine knows, and even if he is already 24, he still acts childish, unfit for his age.
She could never blame him for it, though. The only thing they've ever known was how to live on a ship, so the Capital is bound to be interesting enough and make him want to explore to his heart's content.
~
Thanks to the secret port her father informed them of, all their ships were safely anchored, giving the pirates the opportunity to go in the Capital as they pleased.
And so, they did. In just a few weeks, they stole goods and food, jewellery, and so much gold, they could simply go back to the seas and starts anew in another Kingdom. Seraphine’s eyes sparkle at the thought of all the gold they’ve taken, and she is truly impressed with her people.
However, she is quite surprised that the imperial army is finding it so hard to find the culprits and the reason of their economy plummeting, and she vaguely remembers her father’s warnings that the King is truly sharp, and he’d figure out quickly. With them still able to be in the Capital almost a month after they arrived, she realises that the rumours must be true. He must’ve truly fallen sick.
~
“Miss, the imperial army has discovered the port.” Felix rushes in her cabin as Seraphine is admiring the jewels they’ve managed to steal so far.
“Took them long enough.” She chuckles.
“What will we do?” He is anxiously pacing back and forth. “They brought this letter-”
“Let me see.” She snatches it from his hand and notices the imperial seal.
Opening it hastily, she lets out a laugh.
“What?” Felix asks with a chuckle.
“They apparently don’t want to fight us. They must be afraid we’d make a fool out of them. They proposed a treaty.”
“Really?!” He gasps.
“Let me write a reply and invite the King here.” She laughs again and begins drafting a reply. “If they want to talk us out of the Capital so badly, let’s meet them.”
She writes a list of demands for the King that she doubts would be met. 5000 gold coins – enough money to last them for generations – a couple of jewels, permits to enter the Capital whenever they pleased and the opportunity to trade honestly, without stealing, and most importantly an apology. She feels like everything they’ve caused so far throughout the Capital is enough, but she doubts the pirates’ negative feelings are settled.
An apology from the King would suffice, maybe.
She hands Felix the envelope, and to her surprise, another letter comes the very next day, with the royals accepting a negotiation.
~
“Miss, the King is not here. His son is.” Felix informs her, making her raise an eyebrow.
“The prince?" She asks, and Felix nods. "Alright. Let’s do this.” She stands up. “Guide him here. No guards.”
She is once again surprised that they accepted this rule when she sees the Prince step inside her chambers. He is either a fool or willing to grant her everything she’s asked for. She shall see.
“Hello.” He smiles shortly as he enters, and the first thing Seraphine notices about him is his beauty. He looks elegant and proud, and she’s never seen anyone look this good before.
She’s used to people looking rough. This man, however, is the exact opposite. He looks like the prince you’d read about in fairytales, his black hair styled to perfection, his clothes immaculately white and gold, and his crown steadily on top of his head.
Truly a sight to behold that takes her breath away momentarily. However, she must represent her people, so she won’t stray away, no matter how handsome this man looks like.
“Good day.” Seraphine smiles as well, showing him to a chair. Of course, she doesn’t bow. He might be a royal, but he is on her ship, so she holds the most power.
She almost wants to ask him to bow to her instead, but this thought brings a chuckle to her lips, so she refrains from making such demands.
“I’m a busy man, so I’ll get straight to the point.”
“Not so fast.” She laughs. “What’s your name? I must know who I’m speaking to.”
“Hwang Hyunjin.” The Prince speaks. “To whom do I owe the pleasure?”
“So proper.” She chuckles yet again. “Name’s Seraphine. Now that we got acquainted, please, go ahead. I’m all ears.”
“We’ve analysed your… proposal. And we’re willing to meet some of them, to a certain point.”
“Which is?”
“2000 gold instead of 5000. You’re asking for an absurd sum. Besides, I’m quite certain you’ve already gotten more than enough jewels to sell abroad, considering by what you’re currently wearing.” Hyunjin points to her neck and arms, adorned with multiple necklaces with various precious gems that sparkle brightly even in the dim light of her cabin.
She intentionally decided to dress up for this meeting: a short skirt and a ruffled white blouse with a generous neckline, jewels all over her body – not only around her neck, but also on her thighs, ankles and wrists – just to show him how much they’ve taken, and to send the message that they could take so much more.
“Hmm…” She contemplates. “I shall think about it. What else?”
“The passes for the Capital… I am unable to grant you that. A pass means freedom to conduct business, as you are aware, but a bunch of thieves shouldn’t have that.” He replies with a fake smile, his words spitting poison.
“Thieves?” Seraphine laughs once more. “Hyunjin, darling, almost every person on board my ship used to be an honest working member of your Kingdom. But your father, who, as I can see, hasn’t bothered to grace us with his presence today, made sure that none of them can call this place home anymore. I am simply asking you for the rights you’ve taken away from us. Some of my people still have families they’ve been unable to meet due to this… ostracising by your father.”
“My dear,” he counters, “as you might be aware since you’ve struck at the perfect time, the King is gravely ill. Our Kingdom needs stability, which is why I’ve even considered some of your ridiculous demands. I’d say you should accept them. We’re giving you much more than you deserve, anyway.”
“Hyunjin, let’s not be rash.” She smiles. “It’s clear to me that we are in a very interesting power imbalance here. You’ve come here to ask for my help, to leave your city alone. I am willing to do just that. I don’t want anything to do with your rotten Capital. However, for my crew, I am willing to turn a blind eye from everything you’ve done, as long as you give them the opportunity to come back here if they wish.”
“Seraphine, don’t fool yourself, please. My army could defeat all of you in just a couple of days. Do you really want a blood bath? I am willing to apologise to your crew on behalf of my father. This is why I decided to come here unguarded in the first place. However, be rational. We can’t possibly give you that sum of money, jewels, and on top of that, passes to the Capital. You can pick those that are the most valuable to you and your crew, and I shall promise you in return that no blood will be shed unnecessarily.”
“Who knew such a pretty mouth could spew so much bullshit?” She stands up and walks towards him. “Hyunjin, darling, you’re the soon-to-be king of this Kingdom. You can give me anything, can’t you?” She asks cunningly, a smirk adorning her lips.
“As long as you keep things rational, I could. But just so you know, the fact that I came here in the first place goes against everything I’ve been advised. I want to rule differently, not through war and endless battles. Let us not fight, dear. Leave my city quietly, won’t you?”
He doesn’t move at all in his chair as she approaches him, his confidence quite alluring.
“Let’s do it a bit differently, then. You will give my people passes to the Capital, and instead of giving me gold and jewels, how about…”
Seraphine raises her hand and touches his crown, slowly taking it off Hyunjin’s head.
To her surprise, he lets her do whatever she pleases, so she doesn’t hesitate to put it on her own head.
“This should sell for a pretty penny somewhere.” She finishes, leaning back and supporting her weight against her desk.
Hyunjin stands up and grabs her hand, looking into her eyes, and she feels a rush travel throughout her body at the sudden touch.
“My crown?” He laughs.
She straightens her back and faces him properly, their bodies so close, she can feel his breath on her lips.
“Mhm. I’ve always liked gold and beautiful jewels, and your crown has just that. It’s so pretty, darling.”
Hyunjin smirks and leans in closer, whispering in her ear.
“As long as you give me your word that you’d stop terrorizing my people, I could give you so much, dear. Even if you are a thief, I’m certain your word weighs something.”
She looks up and meets his eyes once more, placing her hands on his collar and holding tightly.
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” He warns.
“Hyunjin, you might be a prince, but your rules don’t apply on my ship.” She smirks. “I have more power than you in this very moment, you should know.”
Touching royals is prohibited, but she couldn’t care less about their meaningless rules that only work in their favour. She dislikes inequality. Even if she is the Captain of her ships, they’ve always treated each other as equals, and everyone is deserving of respect no matter their status.
“You’re quite outspoken. As expected of a pirate.” Hyunjin replies, smirking himself.
“And you’re quite confident, as expect of a royal.” She scoffs.
“You know, if the crown wouldn’t suit you that well, I would’ve been quite upset by this blatant disrespect. However, I can’t help but notice your beauty, dear Seraphine.”
“Oh, my. I’m flattered.” She jokes. “You don’t look so bad yourself, prince.”
“So, what will it take after all to get you out of my Kingdom, sweetheart?”
“Are you trying to flirt with me to get me to leave?” She lets out a chuckle. “It’s not gonna work, sweetheart. I’ve told you my updated terms. Passes and an official apology for my people and this crown. You can keep your gold and jewellery. See? I’m willing to negotiate with you.”
“Is that so?” He chuckles. “Does it give you a rush of power to wear my crown? I bet it feels really good.” As he says this in a menacing tone, he brings his face even closer, making a jolt travel through Seraphine’s body.
He is way too close, intoxicatingly close, and despite the fact that they are enemies, she can’t deny the effect he apparently has on her body. But still, she didn’t come here to play, and besides hatred and possible desire, there’s no other feelings between them.
“It does, I won’t lie. Is this how you feel when you wake up in the morning and put it on your pretty head? Do you spend a lot of time in front of the mirror admiring yourself?” She mocks, making sure to use the same condescending tone he’s been using by calling her pet names.
Hyunjin doesn’t move away. On the contrary, he stays close, putting his hands on top of hers that are still on his collar, forcing her to let go of his clothes. He guides her hands down and keeps holding onto her fists as he looks her in the eyes with the same determination she’s showing him.
“Why, is this what you’re going to do every day if I give you my crown?” He chuckles. “And here I thought you wanted to sell it, beautiful.”
“I don’t know, Hyunjin. It might give me a rush, but do you know what truly makes me delighted? The thought of all the money I’ll make once I sell these jewels I’ve stolen.”
As she says this, she snatches her hand away from his and brings it to her neck, making sure to drag her fingers deliberately slowly over the golden necklace right on top of her décolletage.
Hyunjin’s eyes follow her movements closely, as the hand that previously rested on top of hers finds its way to her waist.
“Passes for a handful of your people – not all of them – and my apology.” He speaks, his eyes darting back to hers.
“A handful of them?”
“The ones that directly attacked the Capital won’t be allowed to stay here. I hope you understand my reasoning, but no one would feel comfortable knowing that they’re trading with a bunch of pirates that previously stole their goods.”
Seraphine thinks long and hard for a few moments. Despite having an advantage over Hyunjin, she knows that this wouldn’t last much longer. She is still facing the most powerful army of the continent, and it’s a surprise that Hyunjin wanted to talk in the first place.
If they were to fight the imperial army, they might win a few battles, but at what cost? They would eventually end up losing everything they worked for, and God knows they’ve already caused a lot of damage, even more than they were initially expected.
Being a leader is tough, and although Seraphine wants to believe in her people’s victory over everything else, she must be realistic. They’ve already gotten way more than they hoped for.
Being a leader means knowing when to back down.
“… Fine.” She says after a while. “Passes for some of my people and an apology sounds reasonable enough.”
“I knew we would eventually see eye to eye.” He smiles.
“And your crown.” Seraphine adds, Hyunjin’s expression becoming more amused.
“No.” He shakes his head. “A kiss.”
“A kiss?” She laughs in disbelief. “I don’t want that from you, Hyunjin.”
“Seraphine, with how you’ve been looking at me for the past thirty minutes, I’d say you’re right. You’d like way more than that, wouldn’t you?”
He moves the hand from her waist up, until he cups her right breast, and with his other hand still holding onto her fist, he raises her arm and guides it around his neck.
“Says you, who’s been invading my personal space for the past 10 minutes.” She laughs.
“You don’t seem to mind.” Hyunjin counters.
“It seems to me you’re the one who’s hoping for that kiss.” Seraphine smirks cunningly. “And with how comfortable you seem to be touching me, tell me, prince, should I give it to you?”
Hyunjin chuckles, and everything happens swiftly. His mouth falls on Seraphine’s, who’s kissing him back and bringing him closer, her fingernails digging in the skin of his nape.
He lets out a soft moan as she bites his bottom lip, his hands moving to her waist to raise her on the desk. It’s not the most comfortable place to make out on, but it provides enough comfort to allow Hyunjin to press his upper body against her even closer as their kiss deepens.
He places one of his hands firmly against her thigh, right on top of her jewellery, and squeezes tightly.
Seraphine gets slightly frustrated with how difficult it is to take the Prince’s clothes off – the million buttons she has to undone, which she feels are so unnecessary. Why does the nobility want to dress up so proper, she wonders?
In contrast, her ruffled blouse is quick to fly off her body, leaving her naked and exposed, if not for the many necklaces and jewels adorning her chest.
“My darling, you are indeed a beautiful pirate princess.” Hyunjin breaks the kiss to admire her as she leans back on the desk.
“Oh, yeah?” She chuckles. “Why don’t you do your duty and kneel in front of this princess, then?”
The power dynamics strikes her once more, giving her another rush as Hyunjin kneels down in front of her, raising her skirt and removing her panties slowly.
He begins kissing his way up her thighs, spreading her legs apart and connecting his mouth to her core, licking stripes skilfully as she rolls her head back and moans.
“My fucking God, you’re sweet.” He compliments, revelling in her taste, his tongue drawing circles on her bundle of nerves, listening to her hurried breaths and making sure to give her pleasure.
“You’re quite good with words, who knew you’d be so good with your tongue, too?” She compliments back, when his tongue moves inside her opening, preparing her for what’s to come.
“Do you like my tongue that much, pirate? Will you let go for me?”
“It takes more than that to make me come, Prince.” She chuckles lowly. “Why don’t you come over here and show me what else you’re capable of?”
“So demanding.” He laughs. “I shall.”
He stands straight and unbuckles his belt, removing his white trousers and taking out his hardened dick. He doesn’t hesitate to press it against her pussy, making her lick her lips in anticipation, and with a swift motion, he bottoms out into her.
“Fuck, you’re so tight.” He groans. “You take me so well though.”
“Come on, Hyunjin, don’t stall.” She commands, and with another chuckle, Hyunjin listens and begins setting a steady pace, moving his hips perfectly to graze her sweet spot with each push of his cock inside of her.
“Shouldn’t feel this good.” Hyunjin closes his eyes shut, trying his hardest not to cum first, but Seraphine is sure making it difficult with her nails scratching his arms softly.
“It does, though.” She affirms, letting out a moan as she feels herself getting closer. “Keep that up, will you? I’m almost- oh, God!” She exclaims letting her head fall back once more, welcoming the bliss of orgasm.
Seeing this beautiful sight, Hyunjin can’t hold back any longer, and he ends up releasing himself with a final push and a loud groan.
As he separates himself from her, he pulls her up to kiss her one last time before both of them start getting dressed.
“I think it’s time to sign on your promises, Prince.” Seraphine says, her breath still hurried and her cheeks slightly flushed.
She stands up and grabs a piece of paper, beginning to draft a contract between her and the Prince. She makes sure to include every term they’ve spoken about – except for the crown, which she realises was a way too big power play – and when both parties seem satisfied, Hyunjin signs and stamps his seal.
“I believe an apology is due. Bring out your crew on the deck.”
They both exit the room together, moment when Hyunjin’s guards and Felix run to them.
“Negotiations took longer than expected. I was almost about to barge in.” Felix says, his face worried, but noticing Seraphine’s mild expression, he grows calm.
“Felix, please bring out everyone, the Prince has an announcement to make.”
~
Keeping true to his word, Hyunjin apologizes in front of everyone on behalf of his father, and informs Seraphine’s crew that they are welcome in the Kingdom, as long as they give their word to stop causing havoc.
To her surprise, her people’s hearts are settled with this, and most of her crew decides to reject the offer of staying in the Kingdom for good. However, knowing that they are welcomed back whenever, they thank the Prince for his consideration and bow to their Captain, pledging loyalty and thanking her for making this possible.
“So, I guess this is it.” Hyunjin turns to Seraphine. He wants to grab her hand and touch her one last time, however, with so many eyes on them, he refrains to do so, but she is able to read some sort of longing in his eyes that she can’t quite put her finger on.
“Let us never see each other again, then.” She nods with a sweet smile, grateful that she finally completed her father’s mission.
She is finally a free woman, devoid of any obligations.
She is free.
“Will you ever come back?” Hyunjin asks, his tone slightly hopeful.
“Why, do you think you’ll miss me?” She chuckles. “I thought you said I should leave this city and never return.”
“Well… I did say that. However, in case you decide to visit the Capital again… you know where to find me.”
“Should I request an audience to meet His Highness, then?” She smirks.
“No.” He shakes his head. “This shall suffice.”
With these words, he takes off his crown and places it on top of her head, leaving her speechless.
“If you don’t sell this, showing it to my guards should be enough. They’ll know you’re not a foe.”
“Thank you, Prince. I shall think about not selling it, then.”
They smile briefly before they both nod at each other, and with this, Hyunjin takes his leave.
Seraphine turns to her crew with a genuine smile adorning her lips, and addresses them warmly. These people decided to follow her, to trust her, and to stay by her side even if the Prince offered them a place in the Kingdom, which she couldn’t be more grateful for.
“It’s time for us to go. Our job here is done.”
~
As her crew prepares for departure, Seraphine rests her hands on her ship’s railing, watching the vast sea that awaits them with awe.
She wonders if she will ever come back, if she will ever see Hyunjin again, and she thinks about the crown resting in her treasures chest where she locked it securely.
She doesn’t think she will have the heart to sell it, after all.
~The End~
#stray kids#stray kids fanfiction#stray kids fic#hyunjin#hyunjin imagines#hyunjin fanfiction#hyunjin oneshot#stray kids scenarios#stray kids imagines#stray kids requests#skzhocomments requests#skzhocomments answers#stray kids love#hyunjin fanfic#skz x reader#hyunjin x reader#hyunjin x you#stray kids x y/n#stray kids x reader#stray kids smut#hyunjin smut#hwang hyunjin x reader#hwang hyunjin smut#hyunjin requests
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The Pirate King of the North: Part 2 with Concept Art
Main Themes: Villain Sanji, Alternate Universe, Zosan Ship
Warning: Long post ahead and some One Piece spoilers. Contains strong language.
Part 1
Let's go back a touch to when old Sanji reunited with his Zoro after the arm incident.
Sanji
I'm back Marimo-kun~! Sorry I was gone for so long!
Zoro
What the–? How the fuck did you get into my house?!
Sanji
Turns out I got this exoskeleton so my limbs are practically replaceable! This isn't normal, right?
Commander 1
My Liege, we still need to attach the rest of the flesh.
Sanji
Oh, shush it now. I know it's just for padding at this point.
Anyway! This means we can keep fighting! Isn't that wonderful? I know your dad doesn't fight with that red-head anymore because of it.
Zoro
Dad? What are you…? Forget it. You're a freak. Get out. Now.
Sanji
Is…is it the hair? I thought I'd try something new…. I spent so long fixing it up for you. Do you not like it?
Zoro
Wait, what is that?
Sanji
Oh! This thing on my hand? It's a get-well-soon gift from my dear Doffy! He said I should at least try and make the fight fair for us so you won't get bored of me. What do you think?
Zoro
Fair? What do you mean fair?! And who the fuck is Doffy–?
Sanji
So many questions! Marimo-kun, I'm actually just here to propose. Let's go and get married!
Zoro
This…this must be some kind of a sick joke.
Sanji
I'm plenty serious actually. Come now, it'll be fun! If you marry me I'll give you all the sake you want~!
Zoro
You're barking mad if you think I'd agree to that.
Sanji
Commander, please present the dowry.
Darling, do you accept sea cows or do you prefer gold?
Zoro
Get the hell out of my house!!
Sanji
Hmm…you're right. I'm not doing this properly. Hey, is your dad still at Kuragaina? And was that a yes to sea cows?
Zoro
OUT!!!
This is Sanji's first of many marriage proposals.
----------
Later in the week, a certain captain is over at Zoro's.
Law
You don't have to marry the man. Just get on his good side enough to get the information. I don't care how you do it.
Zoro
You ask too much this time, surgeon.
Law
Oh, for fuck's sake–you owe me. And I'm cashing in.
Zoro
Fine. But I'm only doing this for Luffy. What do you need exactly?
Law
I need to know if someone's still alive…. It's only a rumour but it would kill me I'd I don't find out for sure. And only he might know it.
Zoro
A friend of yours?
Law
You can say that.
Zoro
What's the name?
Law
It's…the Marines call him Corazon.
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Notes: I'm still exploring how to do dialogue the way my brain lays it out in my head. I've written scripts for storyboarding purposes before but Tumblr layout won't let me do what I need so bullet points it is. Oh well! Depending on feedback I might change it up.
#pirate king of the north#villain sanji#old sanji#zosan#zosan fanfic#opfanart#fanfic#one piece#vinsmoke sanji#vinsmoke ichiji#one piece fanart#one piece fanfiction#trafalgar law#roronoa zoro#concept art#sketch#zosan marriage proposal#one piece au#alternate universe
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Can I ask for a Caitvi fic where Caitlyn apologizes to Vi for what she did to her at the end of act 1, and Vi accepts her apologies and forgive her?
The air is too clean.
Irrationally it pisses Vi off. It feels squeaky in her lungs. It makes it damn hard to breathe properly. It makes her think of her gas mask. It’s the same air that’s outside, just pulled through an endless series of gears and filters and spat out in a way that is hard to inhale. It’s the same air, just dressed up so it looks clean and untouched.
Just like everyone in this fucking room.
“Bring out the Guilty!”
She digs her fists into her thighs as everyone turns. Enforcers snap to the side as they lead Caitlyn in. The whole trial they’ve put her back in that Enforcer dress Vi first saw her in. Parade dress, Caitlyn explained once. She is on display, they don’t let her have the dignity of her usual uniform. They make a spectacle out of her.
Caitlyn wears it differently now. There’s a hardness in her shoulders and a coldness in her eyes that wasn’t there before. It’s been weeks of her sitting silently looking ahead for hours on end. She doesn’t move. She doesn’t even ask for water as she listens to testimony and agrees to charges. Aside from the words, the only sound in the courtroom is the occasional sob.
Even the chains around her wrists don’t make a sound.
They do now as she walks forward. She’s still the most dignified person in the room. Today they seem intent on changing that. The chains are now around her ankles too. They clink as she moves forward, still managing to look dignified. Even though they put the hat on her.
Even though they’ve fitted a muzzle around her mouth.
Mel has assured her that Caitlyn’s not going to be sentenced to death. When the battle came, she fought on the winning side. That seems to count for a lot more than Vi thought it did. Or maybe Vi’s just used to being on the losing one. The people still need a pound of flesh. It’s a litany that has followed her every time Jinx comes up.
“For your crimes against these peoples, we pass the following,” the voice continues, “House Kiramman will be stripped of its Council seat and its holdings. You will be stripped of you rank,” Vi grits her teeth, maybe that will be all, “you are sentenced to thirty lashes.”
The court erupts into shouts and chaos. But Vi can barely move. Her eyes find Mel who shoots her a look full of sympathy before her face goes blank again. Vi feels sick. Thirty is the best Mel could get them to. Vi doesn’t even want to think about what that must have taken. Caitlyn lowers her head but doesn’t otherwise react. Or maybe she does and the muzzle just hides it.
There is a bang from the high bench and the courtroom goes quiet.
Caitlyn is led out first. She looks straight ahead as they leave, never once do her eyes stray from the back of the room. Immediately people start scrambling and Vi realizes that they are doing this now. And everyone wants to get a good view. She scrambles along with the crowd. They’re shouting for justice but all Vi can do is bob through, trying to keep her eyes on the cart that pulls Caitlyn to the clearing.
The crowd swallows her up. By the time Vi makes it anywhere near the barricade, her chains are being wrapped to a frame in the center. They’ve already removed her muzzle but her lips are pressed together so tightly they may as well have left it on. Of course they wouldn’t. They want her to scream. Vi looks around for anyone who seems like they might be willing to do something. But she can find no allies here.
No-one is coming to stop this.
Vi wants to scream. She thought someone, anyone would put a stop to this. Caitlyn’s eyes are tightly shut as she tries to brace herself for what is to come. The Enforcer behind them continues to coil the whip for the crowd, building them into even more of a frenzy. It’s just a sea of cheering, moving bodies. Vi thought it was good cover. Now it’s just an obstacle to shove to the front of.
“Cait!”
She cups her hands around her mouth to try and make her voice travel. But it’s too loud. Someone behind her revs something. That sound is unique enough to make Caitlyn’s eyes fly open.
They find her, even in the crowd. Tears fill them, which only makes the crowd scream louder. The cold metal of the barrier digs into her palms as she stares back at Caitlyn. The helplessness makes her sick but when she goes to push herself over the barrier, Caitlyn shakes her head. Vi is ready to ignore her and do it anyway but Caitlyn turns away.
Vi jumps with her when the whip falls.
Vi can’t hear the crowd roaring over the blood pounding her ears. Caitlyn’s going to do this. Vi feels sick. Her facade doesn’t go fully up in the pause between strikes. Her eyes drag back to Vi’s and she is just smoothing her face back out when the whip falls again. Her eyes open and find Vi’s faster this time. All Vi can do is stare back and give her something to look at.
The fifth strike gets the first cry from her.
It shouldn’t be audible over the sound of the crowd’s roar, but Vi can feel it in her bones. Everything in her screams to get to Caitlyn. She can’t be right, this can’t be justice. In her worst moments Vi’s imagined decking Caitlyn herself. She told herself it would feel good. Now it just feels sickening. This isn’t justice. She doesn’t know what the hell this is but it’s not that.
The tenth lash makes her knees buckle. Vi’s sure she’s going to have imprints of the barrier permanently in her hands.
Fifteen.
Twenty.
Caitlyn looks at her desperately, questioningly. Vi pries her fingers away to tell her how many remain. Caitlyn drags herself up, as much as she can. Sweat and tears paint her skin, but she refuses to surrender the last bit of dignity she has. Vi holds up five fingers and Caitlyn manages to raise her chin.
Vi’s aware of two of Mel’s guards approaching but she can’t look away from Caitlyn.
It’s three more.
Red blossoms over Cailtyn’s shoulder when she stumbles forward. One of the lashes went high.
Two.
One.
“Keep them back!” Vi yells at them and shoves herself over the barricade.
Other Enforcers swarm forward. She’s ready to kill all of them to get to Caitlyn, but they rush for the crowd. Not for her. She’s free to tear across the clearing as fast as her legs will let her. It feels like moving through water to get there. It’s been weeks of only being able to see Caitlyn’s profile. Vi’s lied to herself that she’s fine with it. Now every second is torture.
Caitlyn is shuddering against the frame, face pressed into her own arm. She doesn’t lift her head until Vi is right in front of her, pushing back all the blue hair that sticks to her forehead. Caitlyn jerks her head up, eyes focusing in on her again. Whatever’s left of her facade breaks under Vi’s hands.
“Vi.”
“Hold on,” Vi says. Her eyes focus on one of the other Enforcers, “She did it, get her out of these!”
The Enforcer comes closer and Vi can’t stand it a second longer. She smacks the keys out of his hands. The second one of Caitlyn’s arms is free she drags it over her shoulder, ignoring the half sob that escapes Caitlyn’s lips as she jostles her back.
“Just hold on,” she repeats, getting the other cuff free. Caitlyn’s head tips against her throat, her hot breath panting across Vi’s skin, “I got you.”
Everything in her just wants to carry Caitlyn out of here. But Caitlyn has clung to her dignity every step of this. And Vi can’t bring herself to be the one to rob her of it. Caitlyn shuffles forward and Vi matches her pace. Step by halting step as the crowd descends into an actual riot. Vi has no idea how they are going to get away, but anywhere is better than here.
“Vi! Over here!”
Caitlyn shudders at the sound of Mel’s voice. Vi hesitates for a moment but Caitlyn sags in her arms. They don’t have any fucking time. Mel tried. She did more than Vi managed. So Vi takes more of Caitlyn’s weight and shuffles them to Mel and her waiting car. The sound of a gunshot rings out and she takes all of Caitlyn’s weight to close the distance faster. Mel is already in the car and helps ease Caitlyn inside. Vi throws herself in after.
The moment the doors close Caitlyn collapses against her. Vi barely manages to turn them so she doesn’t touch her back. Just the movement of collapsing is enough to make Caitlyn try to curl up. Vi touches the back of her neck and her shoulder, anywhere that’s not bloody and raw. She gets Caitlyn’s forehead on her thigh so she can breathe and lay on her stomach.
“Try to lay still,” she says.
“I’m trying,” Caitlyn chokes out around a sob.
“You’re doing good,” Vi says, the comfort tasting like copper in her mouth. She tries to smooth the baby hairs at Caitlyn’s nape away from the tallest of the lashes. One of Caitlyn’s hands claws up and she grabs it, locking their fingers together, “just hold on—“ she looks over “are we almost there?”
“Almost there, Caitlyn, just keep breathing,” she says, shaking her head to Vi.
A shiver runs the length of Caitlyn’s body. She’s going into shock. Vi looks around for anything with red on it. Red means heat. She cranks the knob as far as it will go. It’s not like they can put a fucking blanket on Caitlyn with her back like that. But maybe the heat will help. Something has to help. Vi can’t just sit there and hold her hand.
“Vi,” Caitlyn’s voice breaks around her name.
“I’m right here,” Vi says, tightening her grip on Caitlyn’s hand, “
“Vi I’m sorry,” she chokes out, “I’m so sorry. I was such a fool.”
The desperation in her tone makes Vi’s chest ache. Caitlyn’s bleeding everywhere but all she’s doing is apologizing to her. Vi tries to shove aside the burning in her eyes and throat. She looks around for anything she can do, anything but just sit here and hold Cait’s hand while she bleeds and squirms.
“We’re good, Cupcake,” she says, scrambling for anything that will help. Caitlyn just lets out another sob, “Cait, we’re good,” Vi says, surprising herself with how much she means it. They go over a bump and Vi feels Caitlyn cry out against her thigh, “can you be careful?!”
Mel shoots her a sharp look that Vi is happy to return. Logically Vi knows they are driving through a riot but there has to be something to make this easier on Caitlyn. The breathing against her thigh is getting shallower. Vi knows shit about medicine but she knows that’s not good.
“Cait, you gotta take a deep breath,” she says. Caitlyn makes a noise but doesn’t change, “come on, breath for me sweetheart.”
Caitlyn inhales properly and some of the tightness in her chest eases. She looks up to see Mel staring at them both intently. Before she can ask why, the car seems to break through whatever is making them move so slowly. Vi tries to hold Caitlyn steady as the car tips them back. Mel jumps forward and uses her hands to hold Caitlyn’s legs. Caitlyn’s fingers tighten on Vi’s knuckles and her other hand grips her knee.
“Just hold on,” Vi says, wishing she could figure out something better to say.
“I’m trying,” Caitlyn says but it comes out so desperate Vi wishes she would just go unconscious.
“I know, you’re doing so good,” Vi says, “we’re almost there.”
“Hold her!” Mel orders as the car takes a turn and then stops. One of the doors flies open, flooding the car with light and air, “Vi we need to step back and let them help her.”
When she tries to separate, Caitlyn grips her hand tighter. There’s going to be pain either way, Vi can’t bear to pull away again.
“I can’t,” she says.
There’s a hushed exchange and then a medic appears near her with a needle. Vi wants to swat him away but she knows this is for the best. It’s going to take away Caitlyn’s pain. At the moment that’s all that matters. Caitlyn stiffens at the contact.
“Hey, it’s ok,” Vi tells her, “he’s here to help,” she watches the needle push something through Caitlyn’s veins.
“But—“ Caitlyn starts to protest but Vi can already feel her relaxing, “Vi.”
“I’m going to be there,” Vi swears, “soon as you wake up.”
Caitlyn’s fingers try to squeeze hers but they go limp. Suddenly it’s just Vi clutching her hand. Mel touches he shoulder. Sympathy is painted on her face. Vi feels her fingers slip in between their hands, taking her death grip as Caitlyn’s fingers fall by her side. Medics pull Caitlyn free and onto a stretcher. Everything in Vi screams to follow them but Mel holds her in the car.
“We need to let them work,” she says. Vi opens her mouth, “Vi, this is how you help her.”
“I promised I’d be there,” Vi says, “I wasn’t—“
“You were. You got her through this,” Mel looks over he shoulder and she grasps Vi’s other hand. Vi can hear a commotion starting, “you will be there when she wakes up.”
“No,” Vi twists. She can hear a buzzing and the doctors shouting, “no—“
There’s a fiery feeling in her elbow and she realizes Mel stuck her with something. Mel moves forward and eases her down. Vi wants to be angry but the stuff is rushing though her. Still she has to hold on. Mel cranes her neck and then focuses back on her.
“They got her back,” she says, “you’re both going to be fine.”
“I promised,” Vi gets out, though it comes out as a mumble instead of how she intended. There’s a hand in her hair as the world tugs away.
There’s a hand on her cheek as it comes back.
She would know that hand anywhere, even before she opens her eyes to meet Caitlyn’s intent gaze.
Caitlyn’s covered in bandages. Her fingers and face might be the only thing not wrapped in bandages. But they’re both so pale it hardly makes a difference. There’s tubes and monitors everywhere Vi can see. But she’s alive and her fingers are skimming Vi’s face like she can’t believe she’s real. When their eyes meet, Vi can see they’ve got her drugged up. Vi catches her hand and laces their fingers back together.
“Hey,” is the only thing she can think to say. Caitlyn offers a miserable smile through pale lips, “I promised I’d be here didn’t I?”
“Mel had them put you here,” Caitlyn rasps.
“Yeah,” Vi says, “but I’m still here.”
That seems to be Caitlyn’s undoing. Vi has no idea where she can touch her that isn’t going to hurt. But Caitlyn doesn’t seem to care as she grips Vi tighter. It’s like three weeks of hell is all crashing down. Any last vestiges of the person on trial are flowing down Vi’s shirt. All Vi can do it hold her tighter. For the past few weeks she’s just watched Caitlyn and told herself it’s enough. Now with her back in her arms, Vi doesn’t know how she managed to bullshit herself like that.
“I’m still here,” she repeats and just hopes it’s enough for both of them.
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