#i understand why we need thst

[lemonlovemeanslove]

I know I know I know that the this didn't start on Oct 7th is a great thing to remind people of and and it's educational and all. But I can't help being bitter. I can't help thinking, really? You didn't know the situation in Palestine until now? You need people to over and over again prove how long this has been going on.

When you saw the news reports in 2021, in 2017, in 2014, 2011...when you heard "it's complicated", when you heard to the Zionist propaganda, when you saw the US publicly back Israel, you didn't for one second think, huh, maybe I should look into this. When you came across that one headline on Twitter about a child being arrested or killed by the IDF, no part of you went, let me look into this?

Not understanding the extent of Israels occupation i can get, but not even being aware of it? Until last year. How does that happened. I get so fucking upset when I realize how many people, just, took what was told to them, at face value, by the people who have, historically, backed every evil thing ever, and just went, yeah, you know what, I'm not going to do any reading on my own. And okey I get it I'm Muslim and was raised in the middle east so we were all basically made to be aware of the reality of Palestine since we were children. But my GOD people. How do you just, ignore that? A conflict that big, so ongoing. Did you not see the wall being put up and go, wait a second. Did you not see the checkpoints, and pause, just for a moment. Did you not ever stop, and just think?

[autisticlee]

sometimes I think about how when I went to college for a year before I dropped out (basically failed out,) the counselors/dean told me they can't help me at all or give any accommodations unless I have an official autism/adhd diagnosis. that might sound logical at first, but when you think about it more, it's actually quite fucked up. if someone is struggling really bad, what's the harm in helping them? why do they require a paper to get even the smallest amount of help? people who don't need help aren't going to be failing miserably without help! even NTs could benefit from some adjustments to the horrible school system! (but changing the entire system is a whole other conversation that the school system isnt ready for)

but even if you do agree to jump through their hoops, you realize it's even more fucked up that the diagnosis process requires YEARS in most cases (in my case it took 4 or 5 years, can't recall exactly now, for autism/adhd diagnosis, which would have meant i finished school before getting it if i managed to mot fail out, or i wait that long before going back, which is a whole struggle itself) and they also tried billing me for THOUSANDS of dollars because of insurance issues!!

so you put a ton of time and money into this, and then get told the only accommodation they are willing to give you for autism and adhd is "a little extra time on tests"

....

my test scores were the best part of my whole class experience. that was NOT what I struggled with!!!!! those tests were all online and could be done in the comfort of your home where you can accommodate yourself and have plenty of time left over when you finish them because you are comfy in your own space, (and also, no one was stopping you from having your notes/books/google open to find the answers,) and you don't even need a time consuming, expensive diagnosis for that!

SO WHAT'S THE POINT!!!!!!!

[sofiawritesstuff]

Platonic

part 1

summary: When Lando’s “playboy” image is setting a bad reputation for him. He’s turns to the person he trust most in this world for help.

pairing: landonorris x bestfriend!reader

warnings: none (i don’t think)

This is my first time writing, I hope you all enjoy and if there’s any advice you guys can give me to improve please do!!

“Please, please! You’re my best friend. I just need this one favour!” Lando begs following you around at a quick pace.

“Exactly Lando” you sigh before continuing “I’m your best friend and as much as I love you I just don’t think it would work or be realistic” you shrug, taking a bottle of cold water from his fridge

“Why? Why don’t you think it can be realistic! Fans accuse us of being together all the time because of how close we are! The only thing that would have to change would be not denying it…and maybe kissing” he whispers the last part

“Kissing!” you shout choking on the water “We’ve done it before!” he defends “Yeah when we were like 11!”

“And 14, and 17!”

“You’re not helping yourself Lando”

“Please, it would just have to be for a few months then we could say we were better off as friends. Please. I don’t want to be in a PR relationship with some random model who’s looking to gain attention for a brand” Lando sighs, visibly upset

“Can you give me time to sleep on it? You know I love you but I don’t want this to come between our friendship”

“We’re strong, think of everything and everyone that tried to separate us before we never let them come between us”

“Which is why I can’t risk loosing you, there a difference between a girlfriend not liking me that tries to separate us and faking a relationship Lando”

“I understand” he nods “I promise you, you will have an answer before the start of the race weekend. I’m gonna head to bed now okay. I love you” you hug him tightly before heading to the spare room in his apartment.

It wasn’t the first time you had turned down Lando, in fact he had asked you out every year from the age of 14 until you guys were 18 before he finally realised that you wouldn’t work.

It’s not thst you didn’t like Lando, you loved him and maybe you did have feelings for him. But the thought of loosing your friendship because of relationship scared you.

For most hours of the night you lay in the bed of Lando’s spare room at his apartment in Monaco, that was quickly known as your room, thinking about what Lando said.

You supported him before his career even started and Lando’s reputation with girls certainly wasn’t the best. The media painted him to be a “playboy” and “unloyal”, which in some senses he was. He had never cheated on his previous girlfriends but he did date his ex’s friends and colleagues.

Maybe it wouldn’t be such a harm to pretend for a few months? But what if your feelings began to grow stronger and you may not be able to go back to the way you were with Lando?

Lando was the same just through the wall, his feelings for you never left him. All the girlfriends he had he never felt for them what he felt for you, which was terrible but also why he was now single. He wanted you to say yes, he wanted you to agree but he didn’t want his feelings to get in the way, especially when he didn’t know that you felt the same way.

The next morning, you woke up to the usual clatter of plates from the kitchen. Which never meant anything good.

“What are you attempting to make this morning Mr Norris?” you laugh watching him by the pan “French toast but it’s not going well” he answers not taking his eyes of the food

“Well for starters, you’ve completely burned the bread. Would you like some help?” you ask holding back a loud laugh “Please”

The two of you started over, putting the uneatable food in the correct bin. You focused on the food while Lando focused on the coffee.

“There you go Lan”

“Thank you, how’d you sleep last night?” he asks putting the food in his mouth “To be honest, not great i’ve been thinking about what you said”

“You have?” Lando asks dropping his food “I will help you, if you promise me that we will still be best friends at the end of everything”

“Pinky promise”

part 2

[whoiserenity]

Matt Sturniolo Headcanons

Here's some headcanons of Matt during your pregnancy. Requested by @cupids-mf-arrow

Enjoy!

BEFORE FINDING OUT

He would take care of you when you feel cramps and when you vomit and constantly tell you to get it checked up.

"Baby, you need to go to the doctor." Matt said as he handed you a glass of water and some painkillers.

"It'll pass babe, it'll pass." You responded.

FINDING OUT

He would be ecstatic when you tell him and would jump around and yell.

"Baby, I have to tell you something." You said, sitting beside him.

"What is it?" He responded, looking at you.

"I'm..." You looked at him, smiling and he's confused as hell.

"You're what?" He asked, shaking his head for the answer.

"I'm pregnant." He gasped and immediately stood up, holding his hands to his mouth.

"No. No way." He looked up at you as you stood up. He then quickly hugged you, after pulling out of the hug, he jumped around shouting, "I'm gonna be a dad! I'm gonna be a dad!"

TELLING HIS BROTHERS

After finding out, he'd make a call to his brothers, telling them about the news.

"Guess what just happened?" Matt said, looking at his phone.

"What?" His brothers, Chris and Nick, asked in unison.

He turned the phone to you, showing you in the camera as he spoke, "Tell 'em, babe."

You waved to his brothers and greet them as they did the same. "Girl, tell us what happened, you're kinda scaring me." Nick stated.

"Okay. Uhm.." I glanced at Matt, smiling then back to his brothers. "I'm pregnant!"

When you tell them the news, the only thing coming out of Matt's phone speaker are screams.

"No. For real?!" Nick shouted while Matt nodded. "Matt gon' be a baby daddy!" Chris screams as we both laughed at them.

GIVING BIRTH

He wasn't supposed to be inside the room with you. But he paid the doctor $10, 000 dollars. Cash.

"Come on, sweety. You got this." Matt encouraged you as you pushed through.

You pushed and pushed and screamed out the pain. Throughout the whole labor, he would hold your hand, pat your shoulder, and encourage you along with the doctors and nurses.

After the baby finally came out, he'll tell you that you did so great and thst he was so proud of you.

FIRST WORDS

It's been five months and both you and Matt didn't expect for it to be today that she would say her first words.

Matt was playing with his daughter, doing silly faces here and there as she would laugh.

You both watched them with a smile while you were folding up some clothes.

"Who am I, huh? Who am I? Hmmm?" Matt said in playful voice, rubbing his face on his daughter's stomach as she seemed to like it.

"Papa." The baby muttered as Matt gasped at her words.

"Why?" You asked, chuckling. "She just said her first words!" Matt turned to you, picking up his daughter from the crib. "What?!" You asked, shocked.

"Come on, say it again, honey. Say papa." Matt looked at his daughter.

"Papa!" The baby said, laughing and throwing her hands in the air.

You gasped. "Oh my gosh." You said as Matt looks up at you, smiling.

FIRST BIRTHDAY

After a year, it's finally his daughter's first birthday. He didn't attend work that day.

"Who's turning 1 today? Hmm?" Matt said as he picked up his daughter.

She yelled out things that both you and Matt didn't understand. But you knew she meant herself.

"Yes, you are!" Matt pinched his daughter's cheeks. You walked up to them as Matt said, "Look, mommy's here. Hi, mommy." He held up his daughter's hand and waved it to your direction.

"Come on, baby. You gotta get dressed for your party. Uncle Nick and Uncle Chris are almost here, you wouldn't wanna look like a mess, would you?" You chuckled as you took her from Matt's arms and brought her to the room to dress her up.

That's all! Thank you for reading my headcanons! I appreciate it! Leave a like if you want to! Feel free to request more!

[anotheraverageairbreather]

NOZACHIYO CONFESSION HEADCANON:

I want Nozaki to go around asking the gang how they would confess to someone to get an idea of how to confess to Sakura, but he phrases this TERRIBLY vague.

Hori, Waka, and Mikorin all assume this is for the manga, and give some sort of advice accordingly, all suggestions are impractical and dramatic in real life.

Seo and Kashima at least assume he plans on confessing to someone, But because they are seo and Kashima, their advice is even WORSE.

Mayu is too lazy to even answer the question and just tells Nozaki to try Judo.

Nozaki tries each and every suggestion before asking the next person, but every time he attempts to confess he fails. Sakura assumes he’s experimenting with different scenarios for let’s love, and starts rating the confessions with a little sign (like the ones they hold up when judging eahcother on 4 Weddings) and giving constructive criticism, he kind of just pulls out his notebook and starts noting down her feed back bevause it genuinly IS good advice for the manga.

Ken is the only person to give any decent advice, he tells Nozaki to just ask the person we wants to confess to (he is the only character intelligent enough to differentiate between what’s Nozaki does for the manga and what he does for his personal life). Maeno over hears the conversation and gives some unsolicited, HORRIBLe advice. Or alternatively, what could be even FUNNIER is Maeno being the one to give decent advice, or to make Nozaki realize what he needs to do. Ken and Nozaki would both recognize Maeno has been helpful for ONCE, and both would be LIVID at having to admit it.

Eventually he asks Sakura how she would confess to someone, and she said she’s a bad person to ask because she can never actually get the right words out, but soemthing along the lines of wanting to support that person. Nozaki would sit with this information for days, maybe even WEEKS, deflated at his inability to confess, until randomly it he thinks back to thst conversation with Chiyo, and the day he gave her his autograph. He understands what she meant when she said “I’m your fan!”, I’d like to think he’d run to her (she just so happens to be in the classroom she first confessed to him, its sunset again) IMMEDIATELY, with one of those autograph boards in hand.

N (out of breath and sweaty as shit from running, or maybe solo-ing the tandem bike) Sakura!!! Please, can I get your autograph???

S: I mean sure??? But why??

N (smiling and blushing and sweating like a madman, probably hunched over to her height with his hands on his knees from the exhaustion): I’m your fan!!

It would take her a moments to process, before she’d start crying and then they’d go back and forth about who was the “bigger fan”.

EDIT: I think it’s actually way funnier if she signs the autograph before realizing

One of them would shut the other up with a quick kiss.

In the tandem bike option, they ride it off together into the sunset.

I just really adore the idea of tying everything back to that first confession!!

[beauarlenswife]

Get It Off My Desk.

Summary: Reader is a new detective thst had been moved to the department in montana, when they get back from rescuing the girl and their in his office, let’s just say, her thoughts are not about the case.

A/N: I have never written smut before so if this is not good, that’s why, also, we need more jensen in the vest because it’s so hot, he looks so good

Thigh riding, unprotected sex ( don’t do it, it’s an imagine it’s fake) vaginal fingering

She follows Beau back into his office, her eyes looking over what’s visible of his back muscles, they tighten against the fabric of his shirt as he walks; he places some papers onto his desk, moving them around as he sits down in the chair. She closes the door and turns towards him, walking closer to his desk.

Her eyes are drawn to his hands as he moves a few papers, the veins in them very noticable, his fingers are thick, slightly scarred, but just the right length he could probably hit all the right spots in her. She glances up to his arms, the veins going up his wrists and underneath the burgundy sweater he had pushed up to his elbows.

Her eyes follow up his arms, the muscle visible but not fully outlined , just wide enough her hand could probably fit around and squeeze while he was-

“Detective Y/L/N?” her eyes glance up to his face, shit, had he been talking to her? She glances down at his lips before licking her own, “ Yes, sheriff?”

“ Did you catch a word I just said?”

She looks away from him, breaking their eye contact, “ Sorry, just thinking about what happened.” She wasn’t, she barely remembered what happened, but what was she supposed to say? That she didn’t understand anything he said because she was to busy eyefucking him?

He raises his eyebrow, giving her a concerned look before glancing back down to the papers on his desk, “ If you wanna talk about it, darling, i’m always available.”

She’s sure her pulse rate had spiked, the way he said it, fuck, how is he real?

“ No, it’s fine, I’m fine, just zoned out a bit, that’s all.”

“ You sure?”

“ Yeah.”

“ Alright, sweetheart.” Why’d he have to say it like that? She shifts on her feet, the wetness pooling in between her thighs as she continues to look at him, the green vest resting perfectly onto his shoulders, the color perfectly matching his gorgeous green eyes. Could you be jealous of an inanimate object? Cause she was, the way it got to rest on his shoulders.

She shifts her eyes to look further up, to the beard on his face, not to short, but just long enough it’d probably leave a delicious burn against her inner thighs. His lips were also perfect, she’d bet he was an amazing kisser, and good with his mouth. She looks further up his face, the small freckles covering his nose and just under his eyes, his arms had them, she wondered if his back and chest had them too. She shifts again, a quite whimper leaving her lips at the small friction she had received. He glances up at her.

Fuck, he heard that. The small piece of hair falling onto his face not helping her case, neither was the way he moved his hand that was resting on his desk but by his face, slightly rubbing his beard, a twitch at his upper lip happens as he looks her up and down quickly.

The warmth of his gaze not doing anything to help her, she shifts again.

“ You alright there, darling?”

“Mhm.” she says, instead of it coming out in a agreeing manner it comes out as soft moan. Her eyes widen immediately at how loud it had been, there’s no way he hadn’t heard that and by the clenching of his jaw, he mostly definitely had.

He sets the papers in his hand back onto the desk rather roughly, “ Come here, sweetheart.” She takes a small breath as she walks in front of the desk, he raises his brow and looks to the side, oh, he meant to where he is, she got that, no, obviously, that’s what he meant.

She walks over to stand about a foot infront of him as he turns in the chair, leaning back a bit into it, her eyes glancing down to his thighs and bowlegs immediately, the way he’s sitting, she imagined herself sitting in between them as he through his head back, his fingers pulling her hair.

“ Closer, darling, I don’t bite. Until I do.” Her pelvic muscles tighten a bit at his leading words. Wiping her hands onto her jeans to get rid of the sweat, she takes a few steps forward, their feet almost touching, he licks his lips, her eyes following the movement before he leans forwards, staring up at her, he moves his fingers that are now resting against his thigh in a c’mere motion, she obliges immediately to step in between his legs, “ Were you just gonna stand there and undress me with your eyes, hoping I wouldn’t notice?”

“ Did you mind it ?” she whispers, he smiles at her words, “ No, but I prefer if the women i’m with has a pleasurable experience.” her breathing gets heavier at his words, he puts his hand onto her waist, she takes a breath as he slightly pushes down signaling her to sit onto his lap, she goes to, but he moves her so she’s sitting onto his left thigh, her breath hitching a little.

“Go head, take what you want, sweetheart.” she looks over his face as he leans back against the chair again, slightly biting into her bottom lip, she rocks her hips against his thigh, a small moan leaving her mouth, she does it a few more times, his hands go to her waist, helping her movements, she grabs his shoulder after one of the movements, her finger nails digging into the long-sleeved shirt, her eyes closing as she continues to rock herself against his thigh, moans tumbling out of her mouth as he quickens her pacd, “ Look at you, pretty girl, falling apart on me already.”

She moans louder at his words, neither of them caring if anyone had heard her, she opens her eyes looking at him, before moving the hand that was on his shoulder to the back of his neck, pulling lightly on the hair there, a small groan leaving his mouth, at the sound she pulls him into her, their lips crashing together, she pulls onto his bottom lip on accident but the low moan that falls from his mouth makes her do it again, he greedily swallows up her moans, he stands up.

One hand, under her thigh and the other on her waist, he places her onto his desk, sliding the objects onto the floor not caring to look at them, he puts his hand that had been under her thigh to the desk so he’s not crushing her with his weight, he mutters a small fuck as she kisses down his jaw, and to his neck, he moves his hand to lace into her hair, pulling her back into him, the roughness of the kiss making her moan again.

He moves his leg resting in between hers and moves it against her, the feeling making her head fall back onto his hand that’s now against his desk, her head resting on top of if, her eyes close as he does it a few more times, he kisses down her jaw to her neck his teeth hitting a certain spot that makes her moan and rock her hips into his thigh, he focuses on the spot, kissing, sucking, and nibbling the sound falling from her lips spurring him on, she puts her hand into his hair, and then uses it to pull him away from her neck, “ Please.”

“ Please what? What do you need sweetheart?”

“ You.”

“ What part of me?”

The teasing in his voice, very obvious, she ignores his question, using her hand to she takes his thats on her waist, leading into her jeans, he groans feeling her wetness, “ Fuck, sweetheart, you’re soaking, did I make you this wet?” he asks, “Ye-“he puts his middle finger into her, making her gasp, the end of the yes coming out as a whine, he adds another, watching her face, to not miss a single face she makes as he curls his fingers into her making her hips buck, “ Beau.” She whines, “ Please, I- I need you, I- fuck- want to feel you.”

He pulls his fingers out of her, and puts them into his mouth, groaning at the taste of her, she tugs at his belt, he chuckles, “ You’re so needy.”

“Beau.” She whines again, he unbucke his belt as she kicks her boots off, and pulls down her jeans and underwear, he kisses her again as he lines himself up with her, “ You’re so beautiful. You ready?” he mumbles into her mouth, she nods, kissing him back, he slides into her, her wetness allowing him to slide in quickly, groaning feeling her walls around him, her head falls back at the stretch, “ Fuck.” he pauses for a second, leaning over her to kiss her, letting her get used to his size, after a second, “ Beau?” she mumbles into his mouth, kissing him.

“Yeah, sweetheart.”

“Move, please.” she whines, he does, thrusting into her, a loud moan falling from her lips, he kisses her to quiet her a bit, “ As much as I love to hear your beautiful sounds, you need to be quiet, darling.”

she clenches around him at the name, he chuckles, it comes out raspy and breathless, making her clench around him again, “ Fuck, sweetheart.” he leans into her neck as he continues to thrust into her, her nails digging into the sweater material, gripping his shoulder hard, as his thrusts make his desk shake, she moans louder, he greedily swallows the gorgeous sound, “ Right there! Fuck! Beau! I’m gonna-“

He moves his hand to rub her clit, “Go head, sweetheart, cum for me.” on cue she does, ger back arching off the desk and into him, the feeling of her makes him to, moans and grunts into her ear as his hips stutter, “ Go head, Beau, cum in me, i’m on the pill.”

At her words, he does, his face resting into her hair, his breath hitting her neck, he kisses her again, before pulling out, and pulling his pants back up, she lays on his desk breathless, her chest heaving up and down, her eyes closed hearing his footsteps walk away and then back towards her, he uses a tissue to clean her inner thighs, “ You alright, darling?”

“Perfect.”

he chuckles, kissing her cheek, before sliding her underwear and jeans back onto her legs and she sits up, his hand going to her waist so she doesn’t fall as she buttons her jeans, he kisses her again, “ I’ve been wanting to do that for a while.”

“ The kissing or the sex?”

He smiles at her, pushing the strand of hair that had fallen onto her face behind her ear, “ Both.”

He kisses her again.

[mazzystar24]

I’m respectfully about to lose my mind at some of the fandom rn with the way buddie shippers are being treated… It’s like no one understands the whole point of shipping a couple is to want them to be together, so duh if something happens that could potentially lead to that pairing they’re going to get excited and theorize? Yes it’s absolutely important for Buck to explore his sexuality outside of buddie but the way people are trying to say that buddie shippers are homophobic for wanting endgame buddie….. when buddie is literally a queer ship? it doesn’t make any sense to me as a queer person myself because it’s like- y’all do realize that buck dating eddie would in fact mean that he is still bisexual, and that people have wanted thst for years, so A) why are we shocked and appalled at buddie shippers for being happy that they are one step closer to endgame buddie, B) why are we calling people homophobic or biphobic when they are quite literally shipping two men together, C) why are we all acting as if buddie endgame hasn’t been simmering just under the surface for YEARS and that if they were going to give us buddie, then thag means buck and eddie would both have to come oit as queer…

I’ve seen so many prominent blogs in the community who have made posts like “buck’s bisexuality has nothing to do with buddie and you are a horrible human for even insinuating that” and so many people are agreeing??? And not to mention the fact that now these same people are trying to villainize and trash on Eddie when in all honesty Buck’s behavior in 7x04 was NOT okay- physically harming someone because they’re not giving you attention is never okay (and i’m saying this as someone whi ADORES Buck, he still needs to be held accountable.)

It just reads very icky to me that so many people are screaming “bi pride” but then spewing all of this vitriol over a ship that would fit within Buck’s bisexuality…

It worries me that the writers are going to see this negativity from people and they’re going to just completely back-burner Eddie’s character in favor of Buck and it disappoints me because even outside of buddie, a major tv show portraying a repressed gay poc with religious and family trauma would be EQUALLY as powerful as Bi Buck is……

but i guess that’s just people only caring about the queer storylines when it’s about a white man since these are also the people acting like Hen and Karen or Michael and David haven’t been there the whole time

but that’s just me i guess….

I’m bullet pointing not to be curt by the way just because I prefer addressing part by part🫶

1. Agreed like this fandom was relatively peaceful then BAM it fully shifted overnight like in the words of Taylor swift THIS IS WHY WE CANT HAVE NICE THINGS

2. Yesss exactly like I’m very much a dont yuck someone else’s yum type of person so like even ships I don’t like I’ll be like okay respect 🫡 enjoy your fandom space love that for you AS LONG AS THEYRE RESPECTFUL TOO and I’m not gonna lie to you I see the primary source of negativity and stuff in the fandom be people who legit never watched anything other than the bucktommy related content (which I kinda have a whole other rant about but I don’t wanna give you miles and miles to read in one ask)

3. Yes to that 100% - buddie is a queer ship the cognitive dissonance it takes to call someone homophobic for shipping them is honestly fascinating atp, Buck is bi canonically now and y’all do realise that who he’s with or if he’s single even doesn’t take away from that right??? Like the rep is THERE and will always be THERE

4. You worded it a bit weird but I got what you meant (I hope) so anyone who didn’t may require a little clarification, the sentiment of bucks bisexuality being separate from buddie I think is 1000% correct and I agree wholeheartedly that a persons sexuality and their journey shouldn’t be just about their love interests but about themselves as a person, the issue people are taking is that 1. The people saying this are saying it on every buddie post even when the same blogs posting it have 177283 posts talking about buck as an individual and as a bisexual man outside of buddie and bucktommy, so it’s sort of become a weaponised statement if that makes sense 2. The buddie shippers are the ones who have been advocating so hard for the show to give us canon bi buck like that’s just fact no one can deny so to the og fans who’ve been here for YEARS (I’ve only started like 2023 ish so I’m not counting myself there) this must be such a total slap in the face to be receiving so much hate now

5. Oh yeah the Eddie bashers can personally come fight me

6. If I’m 100% honest I choose to interpret the basketball injury as being mostly accidental like I think he got too into it and forgot himself and his own force for a second rather than intentionally hurt Eddie, like it so happens in sports, I think it’s like just the after guilt that made him question himself and his motives, idk that may just be me denying canon because it just felt too out of character for me to believe

7. I think the fake bi pride stuff also irks me BAD like some of these people are looking for very surface level superficial representation and if you don’t push for more and more substantial and meaningful representation then you’re gonna get constant variations of the same exact thing and these are also the same people ignoring every other queer character in 911 which is just🙃

8. Idk how much the writers take fandom into account but I constantly say like if they were to listen to fandom they’d go the route they know people wanted for years

9. YES about Eddie’s character like I made a whole post about gay and comphet Eddie and how meaningful it would be because it’s just so so unique and unprecedented

10.HAHSKDK THE CROSSED OUT PART IS WHAT I JUST SAID BUT I DIDNT READ IT GAJSKDKFM

[autisticwriterblog]

Today mum told me she’d been thinking about T, and she brought up stuff she’d been worrying about. Like, the possibility that the NHS wouldn’t cover a private prescription and I’d have to pay out of pocket for T gel (because that’s what I’d take in an ideal world), or side effects and shit like that. She promised she’s never try to stop me taking T (which would include taking me to appointments because I can’t do anything on my own) but the fact that she’s worried about it kinda upsets me. Like I know it’s a big thing, and she was terrified about me being put under for top surgery because she didn’t want her kid to die, but there’s a big difference between major surgery and HRT. It doesn’t help that she can’t take oestrogen because of a blood clotting disorder (that I didn’t get, thankfully) and when I was a baby, my grandma’s HRT for the menopause caused a hormone feeding tumour to press on her spine and gsve her nerve damage to this dsy. So there’s an understandable amount of trauma for my mum surrounding HRT. But that’s oestrogen. I want to take T.

And I know she’s worried, but… I dunno… I was so excited about the possibility of T and now I kinda want to cry. Even though nothing has actually changed. We’re still going to start looking for appointments at gender clinics in the new year. She’s supportive of my gender (even though she’s clearly confused thst I went from NB to pretty-much-just-a-dude… but to be fair, I don’t really understand it either. Gender is fucking weird) and calls me her son when she meets people and they ask about her family. Plus, she reminded me that I need to tell my dad about this, because we life together and it’s kinda impossible to hide from him, but I’m worried because what if he gets mad? He never once looked at my scars post top surgery,unlike the women in my family, which always makes me paranoid that he still views me as a girl or something. And it’d be really helpful to talk to a cis dude I’m related to about puberty, but… I get so anxious talking to him. He hasn’t been emotionally abusive for over ten years but those childhood fears won’t disappear.

I dunno. I forgot thst real life is a lot more complicated thst the ideas in my head. And I’m so fucking anxious now.

TMI/NSFT under the cut, plus discussion of OCD intrusive thoughts (nothing specific)

When we’ve previously talks about T, like why I didn’t want it a few years ago, I mentioned that I thought bottom growth was weird (almost certainly influenced by the fearmongering about transmasc stuff I’d internalised on tumblr as a teenager). But… my opinion of thst has changed. It’s actually something I’m quite excited for. But I can hardly tell my mother that I want a t dick. It sucks having no irl friends to talk about the more private stuff with., because there are some topics I do not want to talk about with my mum.

Mum also mentioned that libido increase might fuck with my OCD, and she’s right that that could happen. I get sexual intrusive thoughts that have caused me immense distress in the past because of how horrible they are, and they try to mess with me when I’m horny, so having a higher libido could be a problem. But also that might not happen, and I could always learn to cope, as I’ve done in the past. I just don’t want to be scared away from T because of my stupid brain. It’d be like letting the OCD win. And yet, mum brought up something I’ve worried about before and now I can’t stop thinking about it.

[ratboy-peter]

hey wormy, first of all can you tell your stupid fucking boyfriend that this isn’t over chocolate, which even if it was that would be okay bc it would be a dick move to steal the like one thing that makes this time of the month better.

anyways that’s not even what this is all about, it’s about you never spending any time with any of us anymore, truth is i don’t really care if you want to hang around slytherins or whatever, but you can’t just erase our friendship, we are friends peter, you’re my best friend, i may not know your favourite colour but that’s because it’s trivial information, i know a lot about you though

i know when you had your first kiss, and the fact you didn’t like it because her hands were too cold, i know that you don’t think birds are real and the muggle government control them and that’s why you’re scared of them, i know that despite thst most of the bones in your collection are from birds because you like the fact they’re hollow, i know herbology is your favourite subject because your grandfather is a gardener, i know that you don’t like the colour of the curtains in the dorm and we’re secretly happy when they got set on fire, i know you sometimes feel like you’re not good enough to be a marauder, but you are wormtail, you really are, you’re one of us, you’re forever a marauder

so that’s what this is about, maybe we’ve left you out lately and i personally am sorry for that, but you’re not innocent here, you’ve not been even trying to hang out with us for months, you’ve replaced us with these new people you fancy, i don’t know them peter, but when i see that they clearly fancy you and aren’t doing anything about it, what else am i supposed to assume? why else would you keep someone you fancy, just as a friend if not to use them? i’m sorry i assumed the worst because maybe i was wrong, but if you try and see it from my perspective, their motivations look sketchy.

look i’m sorry pete, you know why i’m like this this time of the month, and i lashed out and i’m sorry

you’re a good friend, and a good person, and i hope you’ll come back to the dorm more

i’ve missed you

-R.J.L

1; they don’t know about why it’s important. Yoy can’t be mad at them for something they don’t know.

2, not my boyfriends

3, I… moony you mean a lot to me, but I don’t understand how yoy can be angry at me for making friends when you still refuse to acknowledge that you guys did leave me out. You keep saying maybe. It did happen.

4, I want to forgive you, I do, and I know it’s hard for you right now but I just- I need you to be able to say you were a bad friend to me. I need you to acknowledge that you hurt me.

I do miss you moony, but Merlin sake please. Please understand where I’m coming from here.

[scruffyssketchbook]

If you had to rank each of the main cast by how much you like them (like, by how much you enjoy writing them), how would they rank? We know Blizz is your favorite and Bolt is your least favorite, and Dusk is probably second favorite (?) but where does everyone else fall?

OH!!!

No no no. If it’s how much I enjoy writing them, the list is completely different!

Enjoy writing the most

- Dusk - I love writing Dusk. Like- LOVE. he is so nuanced as a character and so interesting, when I write him I get excited because he is just SO FUN to write!!! Due to this I constantly draw him. Oops.

-Flame - Flame is kind of like Dusk, he’s a very nuanced character who has a lot of things going for him, the only sad thing about him is his lack of screentime in comparison to the other main boys.

-Miku - I love Miku’s personality, she’s funny <3 Her story is full of struggles and trying to build back up her broken heart/self esteem, and it’s so interesting to write. Plus she is funny <3 <3 I love funny characters.

-Vay - I can’t articulate why I put him in this spot, but it just feels right. I like him :3

- Bolt - Bolt is pretty interesting I’d say. I think what makes him interesting the most are all of his parallels to Blizz and how the two of them interact with each other. And also, how much he ties his worth into the other mains, it’s interesting.

- Dawn - Dawn is not that interesting. I do like her character but she does not have the type of depth others on the list have due to her being separated from them all her life. Her depth and intrigue comes from events that happen in the future to her.

- Daisy - Daisy is not a boring character to write by any means, she is just- frustrating. Very. Very. Frustrating.

- Eve - Boring Mary Sue who is not really connected to any actual plot and has her own thing going on. I don’t feel anything for her tbh.

- Blizz - He is so flipping annoying to write, I always have issues with him and his characterization, due to how I butchered his character early on and it just never recovering. also he’s BORING personality wise, LIKE. All the other mains have something they bring to the table comedy wise, and Blizz’s comedy is just “oh he’s just stupid and oblivious” and THAT IS TGE MOST BASIC YOU CAN BE, like I can’t make any smart jokes with him like I do with the others in the cast because he always is serious with almost everything he does, and all of this frustrates me cause he is my FAVORITE IN THE CAST. AND AND AND, WORST PART IS THAT IN THE START OF THE SERIES HE HAD THE SAME QUALITIES THAT I DO LIKE BUT IDK WHERE ANY OF THST WENTTTT. Ya’ll don’t understand the headache this blue guy has given to me the past few years. I still love him. I rant about his character constantly to the people who I talk to about ssec stuff, but I still love him. I am trying to fix his character for Box 31, but even with that, DUSK IS MORE INTERESTING THAN HIM. Like- HOW DOES DUSK ALWAYS HAVE BETTER MAIN CHARACTER ENERGY THAN MY BOI???? I need to go back to the drawing board again cause this is FRUSTRATING >:V

Enjoy writing the least

[mydysfunctionalvampirefamily]

Wowowow Miles is waking during the day??? Call me suspicious.

AAAAAAAHHHHH did he just fucking bloodbond Wynn???

Noooooo. I mean also I get it but this is such a fucking Miles solution?!? What the hell. 😂😂

But also why are his fingers in her mouth??? That just seems so unnecessary.

'Oh no I'm Miles, I know what's best even though it's often a bad decision, but I will take responsibility and will not confer with anyone else because this is my burden to bear, and also I just know better than all of them.'

Goddamnit Miles don't talk about fucking territory, reach down in your feelings and show Wynn that you care for her!!!

Also I still don't understand why this would help??? I was informed that this is what he wanted to do the night before and he wants to try to get her to 3 before Lucint.

Oh noooo Ventrue are arrogant? You don't say...

Yes Wynn tell him!!!! Make this fucker see.

Miles..... This is so not about you, it's about Wynn rn.

MILES people you associate with???? Even now you can't say you fucking care about her??? Goddamn you piece of shit. 😂

Of course he ignores you lmao, Miles can't be told he's wrong! That's crazy. Smh.

I mean.... At least he asked if she wants another? But is that really fairbif she's bloodbonded. Yeah like Wynn says she doesn't want it to be a choice because having to say yes to something you do not want at all is horrible.

Ooooooooffffffff y'all idk how I feel about this. I have a lot a lot of emotions. I just keep flashing back to when Britta was level 2 bloodbonded with fucking Rowlands and how obsessed she was with him and what he thought of her.

This has all been very upsetting and I have a lot of complicated thoughts and feelings about all of this.

😭 Wynn subconsciously walking past places where she thinks Miles is. Don't you see how fucked up this is!?!

Goddamn Wynn. I am so glad they're having all these talks, I just wish the reason wasn't so shit.

I can't. I know I am not saying anything about Wynn and Johnny's conversation about their kids, but I can't. I'm just sitting here, listening, crying.

Johnny calling Wynn family. 😭

Oh. My. God. She woke up in his fucking arms???? Pendragon why don't you tell Britta again that she can't have any power over you. You are WHIPPED.

What??? How did she lose all that blood?

Sore and aching from last night???? What the hell??? Is this a sex thing or a vampire thing? Or both? It sounds like someone took blood from her right?

Lmaoo now she also try to roll to not eat from him??? Isn't their relationship already complicated enough without her feeding and also bloodbonding???

Lex saying he is having her roll with difficulty 9 due to the circumstances, like he wasn't directly responsible for those circumstances! 😂

"Then feed" My mouth fucking dropped!!! They already bonded the night before. He wants her to bond more to himmmmm what a fucking creepy asshole Jesus!!! Did this man just try to trick her into going to lvl 2 bloodbond by making sure she wakes up at 0 blood????

Also don't you fucking so what Britta you sob you know what she is getting at!

WHAT IS WITH ALL THESE FUCKING BLOODBONDS BTW???. I NOT FUCKING READY FOR ANY OF THIS SHIT.

Don't you give that dismissive very well then! Sir!!! You should be on the naughty step for that! You're a bad boy!!!!!

God Johnny we need you and your kindness. 😭 Britta going to Johnny because she can trust him to help her not hurt anyone. THAT'S WHAT BRITTA NEEDS!!! someone nice, dependable, kind, with her best interest at heart! Not some fucking egocentric, selfish, uncaring, manipulative, toxic, horrible, teringhond of a man who would try to manipulate her into a bloodbond and then let her wander the halls alone when he knows thst she'd be scared and upset!

Johnny and Neil taking care of Britta. 😭 This is the content we need.

I'm sorry, he won't even give her the time to feed???? I swear!!!!

I love how much this coterie cares for each other and takes care of each other.

It's delightful to see the justicar and Pendragon squabbling over the coterie.

I think there is a chance that Wynn might be more than the justicar bargained for.

What does the thermos do???? Omg she is bloodbound through the thermos? I thought the whole thing was that you needed to feed directly from the source.

[adulting-sucks]

What's very disturbing to me is that despite what we all say about not liking her because A*** is anti Semitic is that people still think it's something else people are upset about AND still claim she's never done or said anything.

I get issues that cultural appropriation isn't as big in the rest of the world as it is in the US and I'm told that's why Indians don't care she dressed up in, Indian wear (for a Halloween I believe it was)

But antisemitism is a whole 'nother issue.

I'm Jewish and in the US it can be scary. My families had issues. I grew up knowing not tot say anything or wear a Jewish star. I wished someone a happy new year at my dentist office because I saw her necklace. She got nervous and didn't realize she had it on and had then taken it off. Why. Antisemites just don't give you a dirty look they get verbal and can physical fast. All because of a religion thst if someone didn't tell you you wouldn't know and it doesn't matter if they knew you before. That's how strong antisemitism is and nazisim is.

People also forget Jesus was Jewish too.

I want to touch on a few things.

You’re absolutely correct, antisemitism is an entirely different beast. And that’s why they’re always discussed as two separate issues. I can’t speak on that issue because I am not Jewish. I can only speak on what I personally have experienced, but that doesn’t mean we can turn a blind eye to it.

Cultural appropriation is huge, especially when our clothes, what we wear for special occasions and events, our traditional dancing and music is essentially being ridiculed. It’s huge everywhere and if someone is saying it isn’t, they’re not being appropriated or they don’t care much about their culture or they don’t understand the significance of it.

Europe has a long and sordid history, same as any other country here. And there are issues with racism and antisemitism everywhere. So to someone else, they may not understand why any of this is wrong and that’s why it still needs to be talked about now.

[zirawrites]

Could you do companions reacting to sole breaking down and confessing to having a weird unique pipboy with a saving/loading function (like having the game mechanic in the real life)? They'd try to use it for good, loading back to get the best outcome in dialogs and quests, or to keep their companions from getting hurt in battles, but it'd make them go mad with time, so they'd start lashing out, hurting people, doing horrible things to them before loading back and being kind to everyone again. They'd regret the things they've done later, but still snap and do these things sometimes.

One of the tropes thst I like really much for some reason lol. Horrors of being a god.

Cait: “If I had one of those Pip-Boys, I’d be doin’ the same thing.” Cait shrugged dismissively. “We all need to blow off some steam. Long as you’re not actually hurtin’ someone, I don’t see why anyone’d get their panties in a twist.” Cait wasn’t sure why Sole felt so guilty. As far as she was concerned, Sole could vent their anger and no one would be the wiser. She just asked Sole not to kick her ass and then rewind time. The idea felt embarrassing.

Curie: “I cannot believe that such technology exists. Is there a way you could prove it to me?” When Sole explained that only the person wearing the Pip-Boy could rewind time, Curie insisted she try it herself. She used a marker to draw on Sole’s cheek (since she’d never hurt Sole, even for science), then reversed time with the Pip-Boy. Even after she watched the colorful mark disappear, Curie wasn’t sure if it was an elaborate prank. “Maybe we leave powerful technology to the experts, yes?”

Danse: “That’s abominable, soldier.” Danse’s face was red and twisted with raw fury. “Your Pip-Boy is the exact kind of damning technology the Brotherhood seeks to eradicate from the Commonwealth. And for the very reasons it is corrupting you.” He held out his hand. “Give it to me so it can be destroyed. I won’t ask again.”

Deacon: “So, how many penises have you drawn on my face? C’mon, don’t be shy.” Deacon didn’t believe Sole one bit, nor did he have any desire to try the Pip-Boy himself when they offered. When Sole wouldn’t let up or admit they were teasing him, Deacon was more worried about their mental health than the inconceivable power they wielded. He asked Sole to start leaving their Pip-Boy behind on missions, even if it meant needing to consult a good old fashion map.

Hancock: “Punching down is still punching down, even if the little guy won’t remember.” Hancock didn’t need convincing to believe Sole really had a time-warping Pip-Boy. He could tell by the anxiety on their face that they were telling the truth. The mayor focused more on explaining to Sole that any act of cruelty was wrong. And, in a roundabout way, hurting someone innocent was hurting yourself.

MacCready: “Have you used it on me?” MacCready felt sick when Sole nodded. “Was it to help me in a fight? Or did you ever, you know...” He couldn’t come out and ask if Sole had ever killed him. Their friendship would be ruined. Instead, MacCready glared at the Pip-Boy around Sole’s arm. “Never use it again. Or we’re through. Got it?”

Preston: “If I get hurt on a run, just use a Stimpack on me. No need to reload my life and try again. How else will we learn from our mistakes?” Preston was gentle with his attempt to get Sole to ditch the Pip-Boy. Even if it put their friends in danger. He just didn’t think it could lead to any real good.

Piper: “And you never stopped to wonder if the Institute made that for you? What if every time you reload something else horrible is happening? There’s no way you can just time travel without repercussions.” Piper was more angry with Sole using technology they didn’t understand than hurting other people. It wasn’t like Sole’s victims would even remember. “I bet it has some fancy tracking device. I dunno, Blue. Just get rid of it.”

Nick: “If things do not turn out as we wish, we should wish for them as they turn out.” Nick didn’t care if quoting Aristotle was pretentious. He was worried Sole would lose their ethics. Morals. Grip on reality. “You’re playing god, Sole. That’s never worked out for anyone. You’ve already let it go to your head. Don’t let it go to your heart, too.”

X6-88: X6 deeply enjoyed the possibility that time could be rewound. How many people could be saved from a stupid decision? The Commonwealth was filled with errant bullets, bad calls and careless people. “You aren’t doing anything I wouldn’t do myself with one of those.” X6 pointed at Sole’s Pip-Boy. “With technology like that, the Institute cannot fail.”

[melzfavsblog]

Nick x male reader short story!!!!

Autumn walk with nick

Contains : swearing

As I head out the door with nick beside me I look up at him were outside of nicks house and now walking getting further and further away from his house into the busy September la day it was a 12 minute walk lovely and peaceful holding nicks hand talking and tapping about random stuff .

me and nick head into Starbucks.

Nick gets the same as me

We both get a pumpkin spice latte nick has never had it before but I did !! And we got a sandwich and a cake pop and the Starbucks coin because nick loves that

Nick speaks up and says

Nick: this was a lovely day so far with you

. I say : I could say the same ilysm

Nick: lyt<3

Me and nick head into target getting more fall decor and snacks for our movie night

5 hours later we come home

Nick: holy fuck thst was abit expensive

Me: ikr why is it that much ( we got 39 items 😭!!)

Nick: the cost of living is mental here hahahah

Me: for fuck sake ikr

(We put on our movie we’re watching Lisa Frankenstein !!)

Nick: I love you so much

Me: love u to u don’t understand <3

As the movie ends me and nick get up to the kitchen and I say : omg we had so much sweets we might need to actually have a proper dinner I forgot to make hahahah

Nick: it’s fine don’t worry sweetheart .

he touches my hips standing behind me

Me: are u sure???????

Nick: 100% positive I promise

Me: ok we will go out for dinner tomorrow and go to a pumpkin patch Alr???????

Nick: omg yes sounds perfect we should probably get sleep it’s 3:20am

Me: yeah

( me and nick walk into nicks bedroom nick gets into his night wear I do the same we’re in the bed chatting nick giving me kisses I can’t fall asleep )

Nick: holy shit it’s 4:30am we need to go asleep we have somewhere to be at half 7 we will be wrecked

Me: wtf actually okkk

(10 minutes later we both falling asleep the room silent the only noise noticeable is our sleeping breathing and the sheets moving same as the blanket!)

( I’m so sorry this is my first story I’ll work on better ones p.s I’m not a god writer lol!!!!!!)

[royalwriteroftheuniverse]

Thanks Captain America part 2.....

(Chapter 1) Last chapter/ Next chapter (wanna be added to the tag list message me!)

18+ just incase Steve and Hayden are in this

Mentions of kidnapping angst cheating, angst breakup, angst did I mention angst. Being played. I think thats it

Commenta appreciated reblogs welcome. No reposting or publishing.

Just to recap Steve cheated on you. you found out at a fair you were crying and Hayden (as in Harvard Hottie) had found you crying and you twoo became a thing but Steve never got over you and then you go missing part 1 here

Hayden was worried when you didnt come back that night. The two of you were more than. "Just Friends" he even did a student exchange so he can go to school in the city and be with you. But what terrified him is when you weren't home in the morning he skipped his classes waiting for you to come back. He called your phone sent texts and nothing. The Cops didn't want to hear it. It wasn't 24 hours and maybe you just decided to leave on a trip. Hayden was rolling his eyes. He had tried to explain who your ex boyfriend was but they laughed it off with a "who isn't 'Captain America's' girlfriend."

The next day at dawn you still didn't come home. He was going to go to the tower then and there but he didn't think he'd get far.

He did text his father and call his fathers lawfirm saying his new girlfriend went missing she used to date Caltain America, cops won't take him seriously. But Steve was having trouble letting go. Hayden was truly scared Steve did do something. If he did you'd never be found and he'd get away with murder or worse turning you into some badebment wife kidnapping you never letting you leave. He wouldn't put it past Steve not with how persistent he's been. You never read Steve's messages but Hayden would when he couldn't sleep. Which only made him angry but he needed to know what that so called man was thinking and none of it would have pointed to this.

That night he went to the women's defense class. Hayden had told the woman at check in thst he needed to speak to the instructors his girlfriend came here Tuesday but never came home. Hayden was pale with dark circles and the woman believed him so they were promptly called over. Hayden would've been intimidated if he wasn't so scared for you. He explained or rather rambled that your ex was giving your troubles and he knew this wouldn't be a good idea because he was bound to find you and then Tuesday you never returned home. When he said your name they looked at eachother.

That explains a lot

What?

She told us her ex was bothering her so we asked Steve to come in to help us help her and she just ran out of here.

They called Steve down.

"Whats up?"

He was receiving glances from both Nat and Hill which he didn't quite understand but shrugged it off and his head was tilted a bit with his hands on his hips. Then Nat said

"It's about your ex, the one that was here Tuesday. Shes missing."

Steve's face straightened and his eyes widened while he took a breath almost a gasp in through his closed mouth and went slightly pale."

"When?"

"We just said, Tuesday and as far as we know you were the last person to see her. Your phone."

"What? Why?"

"I won't ask twice Steve." Nat basically commanded

He handed it over knowing what was going to happen next. Nat and Hill noticed Steve's change and it wasn't his typical some one is missing lets go.

"Jesus Christ Steve."

"She said she was taking this class because she was afraid of her ex but...." Hill said looking at the screen as Natasha scrolled.

"Look she was mad at me and she didn't take me seriously a while back whenI said there was a threat but when I left her she was fine."

"So she was walking away?"

"No. Ok look she was crying. She was sitting on the ground crying but she didn't want me around. She didn't believe me about the threat but I-I told her I still had people shadow."

"Steve we stopped that over a month ago why-"

"Because I wanted her to believe me she, she didn't believe a word I said nothing."

"Thats what happens when you say you can't be seen publicly with her and than flaunt another your other girlfriend around at a fair you knew she was going to."

"It wasnt supposed to be like that I- I didn't plan on going the other girl, Rachel had dragged me there saying she just wanted to buy one thing and leave and I insisted on stay-"

"I don't give-"

"I'm not done." Steve practically bellowed at Hayden

"Rachel said she needed help with carying it and next thing I know she's showing me off like a prized dog with two rings on her finger and-"

"And then she saw you ran off crying that hoe I heard her you know, she was crying over you. Rhsts how we met.. You know she never tells anyone who her ex was who hurt her so bad. All she says is her ex."

"I broke up with the - Rachel because of what she did. She showed me off and"

"And MY girl respected your wishes." Hayden spat.

Hearing the words "my girl" from Hayden pissed Steve off. She was HIS girl first. But he knew he had no reason to be pissed it was his fault. And you we now with Hayden.

"You're right. It was my fault I took her for granted I- I met them both around the same time I mean no on talked about being exclusive - but I didn't say at Rachel's place ever I only stayed at....I liked Y/N better I did I just I dont know but I still have everything even the plastic bag that she put all my stuff in. You know I really hoped she kept something but she didn't not even one photo. Steve looked down he was ashamed. He was never like that-he never dated two girls at one and now he lost them both. Not that he cared so much about Rachel that bitch showed him off when she could something he didn't realize until after they broke up but. You, you he kept treasured like a sort of secret mission he kept under lock and key in a safe. A heirloom necklace close to his heart. A dellicate china doll that could break at any time

And if he didn't so that maybe his time wouldn't be divided figuring out who the threat was for, or maybe he w-then it dawned on him. You'd still be with Steve. The others didn't know what came to his mind but his face got even paler as his features stiffened and his jaw ticked.

"Steve what you thinking."

"We need to check the streets for any cameras, reopen the file on the who the threat was from and see if we can chase it down. I want her back."

"She's gone because of you."

"I'm hoping it was a mugging gone bad and she in the hospital otherwise I don't want to think about it."

One thing that ran through Steve's head was Rachel. She wasn't exactly ok with the break up but Steve knew you would've been able to take Rachel in three seconds. There would be no way Rachel knew about you. Steve made sure to keep you two seperate.

Only once a week he'd saw Rachel and the rest he saw you and- and right then he wondered why he even did that. He was with you he slept at your place had clothes a toothbrush his bodywash... no wonder you were so devastated. You thought he was yours. He should've been. He was. He was to dumb to realize. Why the hell was Rachel ever in the picture.

Steve stayed up the whole night there were no videos on the corner where they were. Or even close. Steve hit the table so hard he left a dent.

He went back over the threats the picture the words and he realized it was mostly you. The threats seemed focused on you. He didn't see it before the wording but it made more sense. You were taller than Rachel and the letters reference a hight closeness. Steve realized that originally but there were other

The hair Steve took golden as blonde like Rachel's but golden in the sun. He had looked at thr pictures in his phones his personal and the one he used on missions. your hair was golden in the sun.

There was a comment about music it was thought that maybe it had to do with a location one was at but you sang. And you did a recital near to when they got the note. Just because you hated Steve didn't mean that he wasn't keeping tabs plus he loved your singing he wouldn't have missed the recital even if half the world was in chaos he'd be here with you. He had sent you some roses anonymously. And you had looked so beautiful on stage. He was so proud of you.

You had talked about it for the longest time it would take you 2 semesters to prepare for it. His mind wandered to when you'd reherse and he watch you stop every time you thought your voice faltered a little. He couldn't count the number of time he had told you it was perfect he didn't hear a thing wrong. Languages you didnt know and classical music you didnt like but you lookednso ethereal to him-classical one note said nomething about it being a classic time. Was someone there?

But it was advertised. Around campus and sometimes off. Even Steve had .... he had left a few around the tower thinking just because he didn't want anyone to know you were dating he still wanted to show you off- he was proud of you and that didn't mean people shouldn't get a chance to hear your mqnagnetic voice. That's exactly what Steve was thinking your magnetic voice.

Something about trees and leaves that everyone thought had something to do with Rachel's short stature vs Steve's tall stature and something Steve didn't get but now he realized it was you and Steve had gone to a remote section of a now defunct hiking trail that Steve only knew of from the 40s and would have picnics there under a tree. You'd be so happy to just be able to be outside with Steve he had taken you every chance he got. And you had mentioned one time how you loved the leaves crunching under your feet.

It was you these threats were always about you. They knew about Rachel they had to and didn't care. Then the freaking kidnappers knew Steve cared more for you than Rachel. How big of an idiot was he?

Steve hadn't slept for three days going over everything th threats, the reports of all the shadow agents speaking to them again. But when you were taken it was after they stopped. That was smart Steve was lulled into security and thats when they took you.

Shortly after your anger for Steve subsided you realized your thoughts were more than just from anger... it was the truth...you really never were leaving here. you had just cried. And cried and cried.. Realizing what you said was true you weren't really getting out of there. You had cried and cried. Migraine after migraine pills and tissues were pushed under the door with a note for your migraine. Day after day. You had stopped eating for the most part but you didn't notice.

P.o.v. change

I should've been nicer to Steve maybe. He would come for me. But no one would know. Hayden wouldn't know. Probably think I ghosted him. I paid rent ahead of time. No one would know for months. But if I just forgave Steve I wouldn't be here. Wherever here is. No sun, no clock no nothing. They just seem to turn the lights down and up at what I assume must be day and night.. Steve. I shouldn't even left Steve. Because he'd know I was gone and he would've looked. But he cheated on me. He couldn't even admit it. I dont know what was worse thinking should stay with a cheater to be safe or accepting all the actions and die here. It doesn't matter in the end. Itll be the later no matter what I do. Hopefully otherwise I don't want to know.

Last chapter / Next Chapter

Tag list

@nana1000night @sapphire-rogers @hawkeyes-queen @sparklybarbarianninja @patzammit

[cogbreath]

i read your recent posts and idk if i can help but i hope youre alright 😢💖

thanks

things arwnt alright rifht now

what might happen is after this it will go back to stagnation which i know is not a form of safety either but its the best that can be offerwd to us at this moment

lately we are trying to make money to have something it's not super bleak but this is still really some awful stuff that nobody should go through

my mom said some days ago if she didnt allow him to "save her life" that i probbalt wouldnt be here neither woild she

i cant feel graditude for it

i want to believe that there is a universe without him where i still lived and she still lived

i wonder if life is worth all this

it probably has to be right

but its hard to cope knowing that life comes at the cost of severe repeated trauma

i dont mind too much thst ill never be mentally stable or healthy

those cards were dealt half in the womb and the other before i could resist it

its made me who i am and i do love who i am

i just don't understand the point of the game i dont understand why i have to play the role that i do and how its beneficial surely it cant be

my enforced passivity cant possibly prevent anything truly

she says if we kick him out hed get worse and try to hurt us badly

that cant happen

someone would do something surely

our neighbors carw about us

one just brought us ice and food because of the current circumstances

its a smal gesture and its notjing that i need personally but it still has me tearing up

people online even care greatly such as yourself and others

tjis doesnt really end on any kind of note judt running rjougjts but thank you