#i understand the urge to clarify that you don't like All Thing but you like This Art or whatever

[thenegoteator]

it's been said before, but gentle reminder that artists can see what you write in the tags. so if you, say, reblog fanart of a Thing. and then proceed to complain about the quality of Thing in the tags. the artist (who presumably likes Thing enough to draw it) can see that and likely doesn't feel that great about it

[novemberheart]

{overview} The two alphas in the pack are warming up to you and you can't help but feel the same

{warnings} a/b/o dynamics, fem reader, a bit of reader backstory, poly 141 x reader

Chapter 7 <- Chapter 8 -> Chapter 9

“Sweetheart, I want you to promise me two things.” John began as you started your walk back home. “Number one, if there's a question on this thing-” he nearly growled, holding up the envelope he was carrying for you. “that you don't want to answer, don't. Nobody's business if you don't want it to be, understand?”

“Yes, Alpha.” the title slipped from your lips out of instinct. You were so focused on your own embarrassment to notice the sudden rise in his body temperature, or the way he began holding the envelopes lower. “I’m sorry-”

“Don't be,” he insisted. “You can call me whatever you want, whatever feels comfortable to you,” he assured, causing your heart rate to slow. The title ‘alpha’ certainly fits the Captain. It also felt more personal- more intimate than John. You hoped the outside air would be enough to waft away the growing sweetness in your scent.

“What was the other thing you wanted me to promise?” you reminded.

“That you'll seriously think about getting chipped. If it's a hard no, I'll understand, but it's important to me- to all of us that we set you up to be safe should anything happen.” he requested.

The butterflies in your stomach were fluttering around at lightspeed. The alpha was close to you as you walked. The overwhelming urge to just tuck yourself under his strong arm so he could make good on his promises. A whine left your throat at the understanding that you couldn't touch him yet.

Alpha's were built to keep their omegas warm. Your omega was throwing a temper tantrum at the denial.

“I’ll stop pressing you, sweetheart. I apologize.”

You quickly realized he was referencing your whine. The sound made his stomach flip.

“No- I wasn’t whining at that. I'm not sure where that came from, to be honest.” you lied. “It's probably a good idea actually. It'll help me feel safer too.” you didn't know who had taken over your mouth. Maybe it was desperation. If you got chipped that would be one step closer to being his.

“Come on, pup.” You poked your head outside your door, peering at Simon as he shut the TV off and stood up from the couch. He winced a bit as he tested how much weight he could put on his leg. He stood still watching you with dull eyes. You quickly got up and trotted over to him.

“Do you need something?” you pondered.

“Time for your walk,” he smirked down at you, making his way over to the kitchen, where he grabbed his key card and a pack of cigarettes out of the drawer. He then grabbed a black balaclava and tugged it over his head. Your brows furrowed at the tease in his voice, but you complied heading back towards your room to grab a pair of shoes. “Need to get you walking shoes.” he ‘tsked’ eyeing your flats. There was a subtle limp in his walk and you could tell he was trying to downplay it.

“Do you need a cane or something?” you poked. He shot you a look, but his hand reached up and rested on the back of your neck, causing you to erupt in goosebumps.

“This’ll do.” he shot back, giving you a gentle squeeze.

“You like being outside don't you?” he observed, watching the way your breathing deepened and a glow appeared on your face as the sun hit it. You nodded your head.

“I grew up in a crowded city. Every summer break my parents would take me to the countryside to be with the rest of our pack,” you explained.

“Split pack?” he asked.

“Yeah,” you affirmed softly.

“That’ll serve you here.” Simon commented. “You already have experience being away from the majority of your pack, along with knowing how to manage the emotions that come with it.”

“For when you guys have to do your jobs?” you clarified. He sucked air through his teeth, then hummed in agreement. When you were at the Omega house you would lie awake thinking about it, growing anxious even though you had no relationship with them. Now the thought of them leaving wasn't an entirely negative one. You hoped that they wouldn't all leave at the same time. It would give you a chance to bond with those who stayed and miss the ones who left. “How often do you leave anyways?” you questioned.

“Eager, huh?” he gave the back of your neck another squeeze. “We never know. Sometimes we’ll go a few weeks without being called away, other times we’ll just be here a few days out of the month.”

“Do you all leave at the same time?” you held your breath.

“Sometimes.” he drew out. “That might change with you though, at least in the beginning.” he sighed. He guided you behind a large building, releasing your neck. He leaned against the side of it, pulling the pack of cigarettes out of his pocket, rolling his mask up, and placing the cigarette between his lips. “You don't smoke do you?”

“No.” you nearly spat.

“Good, nasty habit.” he praised, lighting it. All was quiet between the two of you and you focused on trying to listen to the birds between the distant sound of gunfire, whirling machines, and shouting. “How’d you end up in an omega house?” he asked suddenly. He watched as you frilled up like a spooked cat.

“When I was fifteen my mom left us.” you began. You avoided Simon’s gaze even though you could feel the burn of it. “My dad reclaimed shortly after and along with that came a new pack. I didn't adjust too well.” you trailed off.

“Their fault or yours?” he questioned. You paused for a long moment mulling it over. You finally lifted your eyes from the tree line, merging with Simons. Cold and unreadable.

“I'm not sure. Mix of both,” you whispered. He got the last bit of cigarette he could before putting it out against the lid of a trash can.

“Tell you what.” he started. The grip on the back of your neck returned, as he headed back towards the pavement. “I’ll let you know whose fault it is after I get to know you a bit better.” he offered. You rolled your eyes, ignoring the slight sting in your chest at the memories.

“Hey, Peaches.” an instant smile appeared on your face at the familiar voice.

“Hi, Johnny.” you smiled up at him. You had just gotten back from your walk with Simon when John and Kyle came back to swoop you up for lunch. After they dropped you back off you were determined to finally finish unpacking.

“Need any help?” He asked, taking a seat in your doorway.

“Not really.” you sighed, looking over your horrible wrinkled clothes. “Thanks though, Johnny.” You smiled. He smiled back, getting himself comfortable by leaning against your doorframe. “Can I ask you something?” you asked hesitantly.

“Course, bonnie,” he replied instantly.

“How come you don't have an omega yet?” his smile remained on his face as he shrugged.

“I always wanted one, and I know Kyle has been thinking about it a lot lately, well, ever since Laswell had brought it up. I think the Captain was putting it off because he's a worrier. Simon is just a prick.” he whispered the last part, his eyes snapping over to the couch where Simon had passed out. You giggled, following his gaze. “I hope we didn't hurt your feelings, bonnie. I know Laswell wanted to pair you up with us sooner and we”-

“Rejected the idea?” You finished for him. He nodded his head- regretfully.

“Didn’t know it would be you though.” The smirk returned to his face, as his eyes drifted up and down you playfully.

“I don’t think Simon’s a prick.” You defended softly, wanting to change the subject. “He’s been quite nice to me. Well- all of you have.” You sighed happily.

The words he wanted to say were at the tip of his tongue, but he swallowed it back. The truth was you seemed rather oblivious to your impact. The closest way he could describe you was addictive. Your scent, your eyes, even the way you scowled when you didn’t approve of something. You had flipped a switch in the brains that had been dormant their whole lives. It wasn't just him either. He watched the way John eyed the clock and practically sprinted out the door when it was time to pick you up for lunch. He noticed the way Kyle picked out a deep, forest green shirt today because you had absentmindedly shared you had liked the color. Just the idea that you had been chosen for them. You had been selected with the intention to be theirs. And even though you still hadn't bonded with them or been marked, the prideful beta in him rumbled at the thought.

Instead of saying all that he settled with:

“Give him some time, Peaches. He’ll come around.” he snickered.

“If you say so.” you huffed.

“We should throw your things in the dryer, Bon. Can't have you walking around like nobody’s takin’ care of ya.”

It was dark out before you knew it. You had already eaten dinner, orange chicken with white rice. They didn't have a dessert, but Kyle quickly raced to the vending machine to get you a candy bar. You smiled, curling yourself deeper into your blanket.

All of you were together, for the first time since you had arrived. John is at the very end of the couch, with his feet up on the coffee table. Kyle lying next to him, his feet nearly on his lap. Johnny was also sprawled out, he and Kyle sharing a pillow. Simon sat stiffly next to him. His pain meds must be starting to wear off. You could always tell because an annoyed scowl would appear on his face. You were curled up on the other side of Simon, and you took it upon yourself to slowly inflate your scent. You weren't sure if he knew you did it on purpose, but you felt giddy when you saw his tense muscles begin to relax.

It was John's turn to pick what to watch- although he offered to forgo his turn if there was something that caught your eye. You politely shot him down, already feeling your eyelids grow heavy. He had settled on a ‘How It's Made’ episode about kayaks, safety boots, electronic signs, and cereals.

All in all, it was the perfect recipe for sleep. A pack that you were beginning to feel comfortable with, a calm voice on TV, a full stomach, and a soft blanket.

John watched as your eyelids began to droop. You were comfortable. He was pleased with how easily you had adjusted to their pack. He knows the first day wasn't easy- or what you had hoped for. If he could do it all again, trust him, he would. But here you were drifting in and out of sleep, the smell of warm peaches and vanilla filling the air. It made his own restless mind slow, and the ache in his temples dissipated.

“She asleep?” Johnny whispered. It was then he realized the show had ended. “Should we move her back to her room?” The Scot questioned, peeling himself off of the couch. He stretched, his back popping loudly.

“Best leave her out here with me,” Simon said all too quickly. Three heads snapped in his direction. “Fuck off,” he growled. “You want me to get better or not?” he reminded. They all agreed, not voicing any other theories about why he wanted you there with him.

Hi friends! Hope you enjoyed this chapter! I'll see you in two days for chapter 9! 🧡

[chimielie]

my lover, my life, my shawty, my wife

summary: Ushijima x f!Reader. snapshots of eternal youth.

word count: 1.3k

cw: lighthearted manhandling, longterm established relationship ups (and one down), marriage talk and mention of toshi’s parents’ divorce. it’s basically all fluffy and silly tho

a/n: nobody @ me i wrote literally 99% of this a couple weeks ago and just remembered it was in the drafts today i’m working on the promised fics!!! it will just be A While i’m slow okayyy 💘 anyway enjoy some pure ushijima fluff

“Ushiwaka!!!” You shriek, voice breaking with laughter as you slam your hands against his backside. “Put me down, you—you barbarian! Kidnapper! Plunderer!”

He doesn’t say anything, just jostles you gently so your top half (currently upside-down over his broad shoulder) sways while your legs stay firmly in the grip of his arms. You know it’s as close as he’s going to get to a verbal admonishment, your current position already more than enough of an indication that he is fed up with you acting up in a public setting.

“Fine,” you scrunch up your face, sure that he can envision it just the same as you can see in your mind’s eye the near-invisible traces of amusement on his face. “Ugh, you’re going to make me sick. You are so bossy. I can’t believe you think that you can just pick me up and carry me around and tell me what to do. You don’t even say please, you know that?”

He probably gets the idea that he can just pick you up and carry you around and tell you what to do from the ten years that he's been doing all those things, since high school.

You've never gotten sick from being carried like this, either.

“You are bossy,” he says simply in rebuttal. "You say please but you know I'll do whatever it is you want. Even unreasonable things."

"I'm always reasonable," you say. He pats your butt in a way that isn't supposed to be condescending but is. You smack his in return and enjoy the way his back muscles tense up. "Ooh, you've been training your glutes."

He's been doing it in your home gym. You've always been loud about obvious things like this; he doesn't understand it, especially, but he likes it. At first, that had been much of your relationship. You were loud and obvious about your feelings for the up-and-coming teenage ace, and he didn't understand you, but he liked you.

He considers, and then revises his previous thought. He understands you better now. You talk through even things you and he know well because it helps you to process your thoughts, and you are determined to be shocked and delighted by all small things in the world.

"Hello, Bo-kun!" you wave to his teammate. Bokuto, bless him, attempts to bend over upside down to mimic you.

"Hey, Ushijima-san!" Ushijima is lucky that everyone in the facility knows you and you don't have to clarify to any security guards that you aren't in danger, for real. You take offense to the idea that you couldn't win in a fight against him, anyway.

You had been asserting this particular belief, actually, to the rest of the Japanese men’s volleyball team while they stretched post-practice and friends and family were allowed on court to distract them. Atsumu had been egging you on, urging you to try fighting another of the players since he didn’t trust Wakatoshi not to let you win currently. You had rolled up your shirtsleeves when the ace scooped you up and you had, already protesting, waved goodbye to the blond, a huge grin on your face. He had saluted you as you went.

“We’re not married yet,” you say, bonking your forehead into Wakatoshi as he stops short. “You all don't have to keep saying that. Please, call me—”

"Oh, Waka-kun said," Bokuto starts before being cut off.

“We may as well be," Wakatoshi says, turning to face Bokuto (At least turn sideways so I can see, you complain). "It'll happen eventually, so we can start practicing by calling her my wife now."

"What?!" You say. "Don't say things like that. You sound like you like me. Do you like me? Do you want to be more than friends?"

People have always talked about your relationship in begrudging terms. "Oh, opposites attract, I guess..." spoken in a disbelieving and reluctant tone. He understands. Most high school relationships didn't work out. Most people would get frustrated with him and his communication style. Then most long-distance relationships didn't work out. Most young professional athletes wanted to try new things, new people.

Wakatoshi doesn't understand why he would want to try something new when he had something perfectly fine with you. He had said that to you, once, when you were in Sapporo and he in Koganei. You had gotten very quiet for the rest of the call and then remained quiet for two weeks, sending all of his messages to read and calls to voicemail. It had taken a short flight and a shy, quiet apology to right his wrongs. He had known that he would spend the rest of his life with you, he said, forgetting to blink even as you furiously swiped away tears, a month in when you were fifteen. Barely longer than this terrible time you had stopped even fighting with him, just giving up on him. Why would he try anything else when he had never deviated from this path?

But what if you're just not seeing that there might be something better out there for you, you had said, voice angry but face already forgiving. Worse, what if you do see that someday? You’ll get tired of settling.

He had shaken his head. There isn't something better. Please, continue to be patient with me. Your breath had burst out of you in a single sob, and then you were yanking him toward you, ordering him to kiss you so you'd stop crying in front of all the neighbors.

Considering his parents' marriage, one might have thought that he would have more qualms about the concept than he did. You didn't seem interested in pressuring him there, though, and when asked just reminded him that living together long enough would result in common-law marriage anyway, so he just had to tell you if he ever wanted to stop living together. After several years separated and more reunited, he hadn't yet found any desire to do so. He definitely had strong negative feelings about being away from you for extended periods.

He was very lucky that you had chosen a career path which would allow you to travel essentially anywhere with him, find lucrative work anywhere with him. The home gym had actually been your gift to him, from the bank account you didn't share. It was the most thoughtful and horrifyingly expensive gift he had ever received. He had retaliated by hiring your most favored interior designer to rework your apartment into something both sentimentally familiar and not decorated entirely on the whim of two mid-twenty-year-olds. While they worked, he took you on vacation.

"We have to go," Wakatoshi adjusts you in his hold, nodding to his teammate. You’re quiet for a bit, so he puts you down, steadying you by your waist until your head stops swimming.

“You know we have to talk about these things,” you say, looking steadily at him.

“Yes,” he rumbles, considering his words for a moment. “I’ve been thinking about it more often recently. I still don’t feel strongly about the idea of a wedding, but I want you to be my wife. If you want to be.”

Insecurity sparks in him. You enjoyed your friend’s weddings, but perhaps you didn’t want one of your own, or one to him. Perhaps he had crossed a boundary.

“I don’t know,” you tap your lips with a finger, and a weight lifts off his chest when you smile at him. “I’ll see when you ask me. But I want it to be sometime in the future, somewhere more scenic than your athletic facility, okay? With a ring and a sappy speech.”

He smiles, then, his teeth showing. An explosive and momentous display of emotion.

“I’ll be sure to say please.”

[sapphic-agent]

"Stop using Yangchen for your shitty argument."

So, I was browsing the anti Aang tag around a week ago I think and I came upon a post that displayed frustration for people who condemn Aang not wanting to kill Ozai. I'm not 100% sure that this was targeted at my post specifically, but as I did use Yangchen, I do want to clarify how I interpret her words as well as the other past lives' advice and Aang's reaction.

(Here's my first post if you haven't read it: https://www.tumblr.com/sapphic-agent/745211292168732672/lets-talk-about-how-book-3-ruined-aang?source=share)

This person's main argument centered around how the previous Avatars never actually told Aang to kill Ozai. That their words were for him to interpret. And I actually agree. One of my central arguments was that this was a choice Aang had to make.

The thing is though, Aang himself absolutely interpreted their messages as him having to kill Ozai. That's why he gets so frustrated ("I knew I shouldn't have asked Kyoshi") and keeps cycling through them until he gets the answer he wants. Let's go through exactly what they all said to him.

Roku: If I had been more decisive and acted sooner, I could have stopped Sozin and stopped the war before it started. I offer you this wisdom, Aang, you must be decisive.

Roku tells Aang to be decisive. Which means he's urging Aang to make a decision. And this is perfectly in-line with what I said previously. He has to be able to make a choice between his morals/beliefs and his responsibility as the Avatar, as Roku failed to choose between his attachment to Sozin and his responsibility as the Avatar. That's what Roku's saying and that's exactly how Aang understands it.

Kyoshi: Personally, I don't really see the difference, but I assure you, I would have done whatever it took to stop Chin. I offer you this wisdom, Aang, only justice will bring peace.

Kyoshi's advice actually makes it less about Aang and more about Ozai. He needs to face justice so that the world can know peace. She, like Roku, does not say kill Ozai, she says bring him to justice. Aang's later actions are actually very much in-line with that. He does bring Ozai to justice through his own means. But again, that's not how Aang interpreted her advice. He takes it to mean do what she did, which is why he's salty about it after she disappears.

Kuruk: If I had been more attentive and more active, I could've saved her. Aang, you must actively shape your own destiny and the destiny of the world.

Again, Kuruk's words imply murder even less than Kyoshi's. He tells Aang to be active, to embrace his responsibility to the world and its fate as the Avatar. This is something Aang has struggled with since the beginning of the show so it makes sense that Kuruk would say this. But again, Aang takes it as something he doesn't want to hear. He either thinks that Kuruk is implying that he has to kill Ozai or that he thinks Kuruk is saying to be more active as the Avatar (if it's the latter, that makes Aang look worse because it's advice he's still unhappy with).

(I'd also like to add that Aang isn't looking for alternatives from his past lives. Or at least, he isn't just looking for alternatives. He's looking for one of them to validate him not wanting to kill Ozai and offer advice based on that. Which is why he says, "Maybe an Air Nomad Avatar will understand where I'm coming from." So them not giving him alternatives is not why he's upset)

Yangchen: Many great and wise Air Nomads have detached themselves and achieved spiritual enlightenment, but the Avatar can never do it. Because your sole duty is to the world. Here is my wisdom for you. Selfless duty calls you to sacrifice your own spiritual needs, and do whatever it takes to protect the world.

Out of everyone, Yangchen is probably the closest one to telling Aang he has to kill Ozai. She directly tells him that he has to sacrifice his spiritual needs, which heavily implies that she means go against what the monks taught him and end Ozai for the sake of the world. And that's absolutely how Aang understands it. He even says out loud, "I guess I don't have a choice, Momo. I have to kill the Fire Lord."

So yes, I 100% agree that their advice was up to Aang's interpretation. But what this person- and Aang stans in general- seemed to miss is that Aang himself interpreted their advice as him having to kill Ozai.

Now, does he have to follow their advice? Absolutely not. In Yangchen's words from the Kyoshi novels, "You could spend a thousand years talking to us and you still wouldn't know how best to guide the world." Their advice is just that, advice. Their words aren't law and shouldn't be regarded as such (especially not Roku's, he's consistently given terrible advice/direction).

Hell, in my original post I said I didn't think he had to kill Ozai. Just that he should have had to make the choice between his beliefs and responsibility and face the consequences of that choice. The only reason I brought up the past Avatars at all is because I was pointing out that he refused to accept answers (not just from them, but also from the Gaang) he didn't want to hear. And when he finally did accept it, he was immediately spared from having to make the choice by the Lion Turtle

[links-in-time]

Wild Visions - Chapter 4

The Chain tries to figure out what has affected their Wild brother. Meanwhile, Hyrule tries to do some investigating while playing along as Princess Zelda.

🐴🐴🐴🐴🐴🐴🐴🐴🐴🐴🐴🐴🐴🐴🐴🐴

“Woah, Sailor, slow down, what do you mean Hyrule is Zelda?” Time asked, trying to understand Wind's wild and mostly incoherent babbling. 

He, Legend and Sky had returned to camp late in the afternoon, closely followed by Twilight and Warriors. Wind had instantly fallen into telling them of their meeting with Wild on the road near the Rito village. 

“He tied us up and left us there. But he took Hyrule with him, he kept calling him ‘your highness’. He didn't attack him at all.” Legend explained, while he allowed Wars to tend to his dislocated arm. 

“Wild also took the Master Sword, he didn't seem at all happy that I had it,” Sky added, scratching the back of his neck nervously.

The young knight had retrieved the Master Sword when the first portal had opened in his time. He had briefly heard Fi call out to him and urge him to take her on his journey. That had been months ago now, and her familiar weight on his back had become a comfort. Now he felt almost too light without her there. He knew well enough that each of the heroes of Hyrule had their own relationships with the sword. Some were better than others. But he wasn't the only one that mattered. Whatever mad state Wild was in, he clearly remembered his connection to the Master Sword. 

“He didn't seem like he was going to hurt Rulie?” Four tried to clarify. 

“Not at all. For whatever reason, Wild seems convinced that the traveler is his Zelda. And if we can be sure of one thing about Wild, he will defend Zelda with his life. I don't think we have to worry about Hyrule,” Sky insisted. 

“So what do we do?” Asked the Captain. 

At that moment he popped Legend's shoulder back into position. Most of the boys winced at the scream which tore its way up Legend's throat. Wind, who had been sipping on a potion, spat out a mouthful and quickly wiped his face on the back of his sleeve. 

“Sorry Lege, you were pretty nicely distracted,” Wars patted him on the back and offered the Vet a potion. 

Legend snatched it from the Captain’s hand, glaring at him as he took a violent swig. 

“Wild clearly doesn't recognise the rest of us. He never said a word when he attacked Four and myself,” said Time. 

“He only spoke to Hyrule when we saw him,” Wind added. 

“Sounds like how he was before,” Twilight uttered, deep in thought while he'd listened to the others. 

“Before?” Asked Four, “before when?”

“Before the Calamity.” 

***

Link felt greatly relieved to have Zelda back under his watchful gaze. He still couldn't remember how they had been separated in the first place. But he decided that in light of rescuing her from the Yiga soldiers, it was of little consequence. 

They walked in relative silence around the perimeter of Lake Totori, the light of the slowly fading sun reflecting off its deep waters. On their left, the imposing pillar of rock the Rito called home stood silhouetted against the sky. High above, Link could see the tiny forms of Rito flying among the clouds. He wondered where Revali might be. Whether he might be at home with his people, or spending time at Hyrule Castle with the king and the other champions. 

The sooner he and Zelda reached home, the sooner Link would find out. 

Night began to fall as they reached the stable. Link approached the front desk and asked for two horses for himself and his traveling companion. They had always agreed he wouldn't refer to the Princess by any royal titles while in common company, just in case they were ambushed by Yiga. 

“Link, it’s getting late,” Hyrule pointed out, stepping forwards and offering Wild a sleepy smile. “Perhaps we should stay here for the night and push on in the morning. We're not in any rush and it would be safer to travel by day.”

Link considered the proposal for a moment. Zelda was right that the roads were safer during the day. At least they wouldn't have to worry about stalfos. Also Zelda would be able to get a good night's sleep in a bed before a long day of riding. As much as Link felt a nagging in the back of his mind to get going, he didn't want Zelda to suffer on his account. 

“Alright, we can stay the night. I'll stand guard outside,” Link decided. 

Hyrule almost panicked, but he managed to keep his cool and kept talking. 

“But surely you need rest too, Link? How will you protect me if you're tired?” 

“I've traveled for days without sleep before, I can manage,” Link replied, offering Hyrule a placating smile before turning away from the desk. 

Hyrule wanted Wild to go to sleep so that he could search through his stuff. He hoped he might find something to tell him what had happened to his friend, but he couldn't do that if Wild insisted on staying awake. Then Hyrule had a thought. He wasn't Hyrule at the moment, at least not to Wild anyway. He was Zelda and Wild had sworn to protect and obey the Princess of Hyrule. 

“Link, I order you to sleep.” 

Wild halted in his tracks. Hyrule gulped, nervous that he'd overstepped. A moment later, Wild's shoulders sagged and he turned his head to look back at Hyrule 

“Alright, fine. I suppose we're safe enough here. And there's always someone at the front desk.” Wild sighed and walked back to the front of the kiosk. “Will you swear to wake me if there is trouble?”

The man behind the counter appeared a little startled by this request, but quickly overcame it. 

“I swear to wake you sir, but rest assured these lands have been much safer in recent times.”

Link thought that was an odd thing to say. Perhaps the Rito had been running extra patrols. Revali’s last report had told of more monster sightings in the hills and around the Hebra mountains. Still, he nodded and thanked the stable-keep. 

He and Zelda found a pair of beds together on the far side of the room. Link carefully lent the Master Sword against the wall by the head of his bed, before taking off his boots and his belts. Zelda was quick to get herself comfortable and snuggled up under the blankets. Link almost chuckled at how only her eyes and nose were visible above the top of the blankets. 

Zelda had such beautiful eyes, filled with light and wonder, like the light of - a fairy. Wild and untamed -  

Link shook his head. For a brief moment he thought he was looking at someone else. But there was Zelda, her eyelids softly drifting shut as her head sank into the pillow. 

Everything was alright. Zelda was safe and Link would take her to the castle. He would fulfill his latest command and everything would be alright. 

***

“You all know Wild remembers very little about his life before Calamity Ganon,” Twilight sighed. 

The others nodded as they gathered around their newly rebuilt campfire to listen. 

“When Wild remembers something, he often slips into a catatonic state and he won't respond to anything for a while. Then when he comes back to himself, sometimes the things he remembers affect how he behaves. For example, he told me once that he remembered a time when Zelda was one of the few people he would speak with. With anyone else he would sign or simply not speak at all. The memory was so strong that he struggled to talk to us for a few days afterwards.”

“Do you think he's stuck in a memory?” Wars suggested. “He's reliving some trauma where Zelda was in danger so he's doing everything he can to protect her.”

“That could be one explanation,” Twilight nodded. 

“There's something else too,” Time spoke up. “I found muddle bud spores on Four’s tunic after Wild attacked us.”

“So he's confused,” Sky remarked. “That's why he didn't recognise any of us. The muddle bud made him think we were enemies.”

“We could have looked like anything to him if he got hit by that stuff,” Legend huffed, rubbing at his newly healed shoulder. 

“But why does he think Hyrule is Zelda? That's what I don't get,” said Twilight, rubbing his hands over his face. 

“I don't think we're going to find the answers tonight,” Time sighed. “At least we know where he's going, and we know he can't teleport with more than one person, so he and Rulie will have to walk or ride to the castle. If Wild let's Zelda stop to rest on the way, which I can almost guarantee he will do, we should be able to catch up to them easily enough.” 

“Then I suggest we leave at first light and cut across country to make up for lost time,” Wars stated, slapping his hands on his thighs. 

“I agree, everyone get some sleep. I'll take first watch,” Time decided “We'll break camp in the morning.”

***

Hyrule itched to get up out of bed. But just because Wild had agreed to go to sleep, didn't necessarily mean he was going to do it. As dutiful as Wild seemed towards his Zelda, Hyrule knew him a lot better than even Wild thought. He suspected that Wild would try and stay awake as long as possible to keep a subtle eye on Zelda as she slept. So Hyrule waited as long as he could to make sure Wild had in fact fallen asleep. 

Even then Hyrule forced himself to stay put. Wild was one of their lightest sleepers, the slightest sound could wake him even from a deep sleep. Leaving Hyrule to fight off his own fatigue and wait for the tell tale sound of Wild's breathing to change. 

Somewhere after midnight, Hyrule took his chance. He soundlessly slipped out of his bed and crept across to Wild's. His slate lay on the pillow beside his head. With feather light fingers, Hyrule pilfered the device and turned it away so the light wouldn't fall onto Wild's face. 

Hyrule quickly but clumsily flicked through Wild's inventory. He didn't know what he was searching for, but he had spent enough time looking over Wild's shoulder while he'd consulted his slate, that he hoped he would notice something obvious if he saw it. Nothing jumped out at Hyrule however. There were no new plants in his ingredient list. No cursed items in his inventory. Also nothing of note seemed to be missing either. 

Defeated by his first search, Hyrule carefully replaced the slate where he'd found it. He knew Wild kept almost everything he had in his slate, but he also carried an adventurer's pouch just like the rest of them did. Since Wild had slept on top of the blankets, it made it easier for Hyrule to pick Wild's pockets. There wasn't much to be found in the first pouch Hyrule tried. Some dirt and a few bits of broken twig, along with a few golden seeds and his climbing gloves. His second pouch almost felt empty too, until Hyrule's finger tip brushed something hard and cold. 

He hesitated before gingerly removing the object from Wild's pouch. Hyrule turned with the thing gripped in his fist and held it beneath a nearby lamp. It glinted in the warm light, and Hyrule saw at once that it was a small glass vial. Similar in shape and size to the ones Wild used to keep his elixirs in. Only this one was a colour Hyrule had never seen before. 

The liquid inside was a warm honey yellow with a very runny consistency. As he tilted it one way it appeared almost clear, but if he shook it, the contents would become completely opaque. Knowing better by now than to drink strange potions, Hyrule popped off the cork and took a sniff. 

Though it looked like honey it almost certainly wasn't. There was nothing sweet or familiar about whatever was inside that vial. It was certainly magical however, which is why Hyrule slapped the cork back in almost immediately. The magic inside felt like corruption, like the miasma that choked his era. It was so foul it almost made him retch. 

Had Wild drunk some of this stuff? Was that why he was acting so strangely? But surely, even with his low ability for magical perception, Wild would have sensed the dark aura over such an item. Then another idea dawned on Hyrule. What if he'd been forced to drink it? What if someone with vicious intent was behind Wild's actions? 

Hyrule didn't have to reach far to think of a certain someone he knew might be capable of something like this. Had their persistent enemy finally found a way to corrupt one of their own? Had Dink got to Wild while the rest of them were sound asleep? If he had, Hyrule merely added this latest crime to Dark Link's long list of offenses against his brothers. 

< Part 3 : Part 5 >

[lananakay]

Have you been watching AMC's adaptation of "Interview With the Vampire?" Have you read the book(s)? If not, you may not know that Anne's vampires are on the Asexual spectrum! You also may have noticed that in AMC's adaptation...them vampires be F***in on the regs! This is one part of the adaptation that I don't mind, but don't necessarily love. You may be thinking "but Lana! I read the books and those vampires are NOT asexual, they have sex all the time!" Are you sure about that? Are. You. Sure. About. That?

Like everything in this world, asexuality is on a spectrum. Different orientations fall under the asexual umbrella. If you are interested, here is a short introduction. If you would like to see a more in-depth list of orientations, you can find it HERE.

Pictured Above: Lestat Rejecting the sexual advances of groupies before draining them. (Circa the 2002 adaptation of "Queen Of The Damned")

I am Graysexual.

Sometimes referred to as “gray ace” people who are greysexual are primarily asexual. However, these members of the asexual community may enjoy sexual behavior under very specific circumstances, or they might experience sexual interest on rare occasions.

IMPORTANT: Please Read Below

“Asexuality is different from abstinence, where someone chooses to not have sexual contact regardless of their sexual urges. Someone with an asexual identity is not necessarily someone who has never engaged in sex...(asexuality)is also considered a type of sexual orientation. It is important to clarify that asexuality is not a medical or mental condition or diagnosis. It is a sexual orientation in the same way that homosexuality, bisexuality, and pansexuality are.” – Talkspace therapist Bisma Anwar, LMHC

I've gotta work on having long ass intros. Anyway...I've always loved that Anne's vampires were on the spectrum. I loved how the connections, romances, and intimacies weren't predicated on sex.

I find it surprising whenever I run into VC readers who've missed or not picked up on the asexual themes in the series because 1. it's explicitly stated in almost all the books in one form or another, and 2. It makes me realize how many people don't fully understand what Asexuality is as an orientation.

May times people will cite that there is sex in the books and thus negates that the vampires are Asexual. What they are forgetting is that not having sexual desire does not mean you can not or do not have sex. I know we've all heard of people having sex when they don't feel like it. Just because you consent and willingly participate does not mean you are aroused or even want to.

Some asexual people have allosexual partners and engage in physical intimacies up to and including intercourse to satisfy their partners. On the flip side of that, others may not enjoy intercourse but enjoy other forms of physical intimacy that don't include genitalia. Again, it's a spectrum. I like the idea of sex but don't like engaging in it. I enjoy watching, reading, and listening to porn, and any sexual satisfaction need I'd prefer to address on my own.

It also seems that a lot of people don't know the difference between sex and romance. Sexual orientation and romantic orientation are two different things. Just because a person is asexual does not mean that they aromantic. I am Hetero-romantic. Most of the vampires in the books are Bi/Pan-romantic.

Romantic Orientation: also called affectional orientation, is the classification of the sex or gender which a person experiences romantic attraction towards.

Romantic Attraction: attraction that makes people desire romantic contact or interaction with another person or persons.

Going back to people not knowing the difference between sex and romance, this is one of the reasons why I loved the asexuality of the vampires in this world. For me, when reading the books there was an extra layer of truth in their emotions knowing they weren't forged in lust, but something deeper. It made them seem that much more non-human. More, in control. More above a mortal life. It also deeply enhanced the physical displays of affection that did happen.

Also, It really frustrated me soooo much when Claudia was raped by Bruce. It broke some of the fantasy of the VC world in my view...That there was at least one thing you wouldn't have to worry about with a vampire. Yeh, they might kill you, but they would never violate you. Plus it's lazy writing. You can have a female character go out into the world and be traumatize without raping her. It reinforces the whole "you need a man around to stop other men from hurting you" thing and it's kindaicky.

It also kind of...cheapened the love between Lestat and Louis. At times it made Lestat's actions seem sexually motivated, which isn't how he operates. Especially when he did the whole "Let's have an open relationship so I can screw who I want but when you do it I'm going to get jealous and have a problem with it." thing. It reduced Lestat to a stereotypical asshole that thinks with his dick. Mixing love and sex always leaves you wondering if the love is true.

Now that last statement has gotten me in trouble a in the past so uh...

I do not think that relationships are diminished, illegitimate, or otherwise untrue inherently because they are sexual. I say this from an asexual point of view where I've regularly heard people say/post the following:

"if you're not having sex with them, then why are you with them?"

"If you're not having sex then you're nothing more than friends."

"if they stop having sex with me (or if the sex isn't good) I'll just divorce them or cheat."

"if you're not having sex with me, you don't love me"

As a person (specifically a woman) who has very low sexual interest but still has romantic interest, it makes me side-eye people a LOT. Movies/books/TV and even real life put sooo much emphasis on sex in relationships that it makes one question their authenticity. The books were a nice departure from that.

Now some people have suggested that there hasn't actually been any sex in the series thus far and that I'm just assuming there is based on context. But, no. It was said several times. Here are 3 examples:

annnnnd everybody's favorite!

Now, to cite my sources! Here are several references that brought me to my conclusion of asexuality in the books.

After drinking Akasha's blood in QOTD Lestat looks himself over and notes the following-

"And the organ, the organ we don't need poised as if ready for what it would never again know how to do, or want to do, marble, a Priapus at a gate."

Which means one of two things to me. Either strong vampires always have an erection 24/7 or it just happens after they feed because of the blood flowing through them...either way, it explains this quote from chapter 2 of "The Vampire Armand".

"I put my hand between his legs. Oh, he was so wonderfully hard." -(Human Armand about Marius) 

Then in chapter 3: when human Armand tries engaging in intercourse with the vampire Marius, Marius says:

"haven't you lain with me enough to know what I can and cannot enjoy?"

When first brining this up online, several people pointed out that in the book "Pandora", Marius and Pandora have penetrative sex, and thus dispelling the asexual theory. However, Anne Rice is quite consistent, even this novel. During this scene Pandora asks Marius to:

"Fill me and hold me".

Marius responds with

"This is stupid and superstitious"

She then very clearly states that it is not for pleasure but the symbolism of connection.

"it is symbolic and comforting"...our bodies were one, connected by this sterile organ which was no more to him now than his arm.

Others also point out that in "Tale of the Body Thief" one of the first things Lestat does is have sex. He also eats. lmao! My point is that the whole reason for switching bodies was to be mortal again and do mortal things. Sex for pleasure is a very mortal thing.

In conclusion. I'm ace and I think that's one reason why I loved Anne's vampires so much. I was a little disappointed that they didn't stick with that in the adapted series but whatevs, it doesn't ruin the show for me.!

[djpisskink]

my szpd and autism make me engage in a rather radical form of acceptance, though i'm not sure if it can be called that because it partially stems from indifference. be that as it may, there's a lot of logic mixed into it.

[small break to clarify that autistic people tend to have a stronger sense of personal logic, that is how a person views themselves, others and the world around them, which is created as a result of experiences. based on that logic, we act accordingly. szpd affects me similarly, though i can't pinpoint exactly how right now i constantly have to reword myself for these posts to come out somewhat right, what i'm trying to say is that i don't think i KNOW better than others solely because i think logically, or even that i'm correct every time, i just have almost no tendency to follow gut or emotional or even "moral" reactions, nor social norms, which tend to greatly impact how people view certain things]

anyways the point is i often forget that other people don't really think like that at all. i've had people ghost me or do the "i have clocked you as different and will rank you accordingly in my social hirearchy and how that will impact my treatment of you" Thing. [that Thing, i don't know how to explain it. it can change from person to person but i always notice.] whenever i say something that, sure, i recognize might be a bit out there but if i explain myself thoroughly they'll understand, right?

no. not really, no. thing is i'm mentally split between "i must've not explained myself properly" and "i weirded that person out" but the urge to explain myself again is stronger even though there's high chances i'll dig my hole deeper which doesn't help. hey. please come back. why are you calling your mom i just don't think consensual cannibalism is that bad, please- it's only 8 o'clock it's my first sleepover don't do me like this- hey-

[amazingmsme]

Don’t Be Silly

AN: can’t believe it’s already been a full week & I just about have all of next week fully written & ready to post as well! Here’s some wolf 359 fluff for y’all to enjoy, so let’s hear it for day 7! But first, quick question: can an ai be ticklish? Idk but Eiffel’s about to find out

Eiffel was a talker. Honestly, he could talk about anything if only there were someone willing to listen. Back home, few people cared to listen to his ramblings. Minkowski and Hilbert cared even less. And he didn't even want to try with Lovelace...

Hera wasn't like the rest of them. She would happily listen to him all day, and call him crazy, but he didn't think her interest was forced. No, she had a natural curiosity about her that drew her towards him like a magnet. She often kept him company as he rambled to the empty abyss of space, unsure if there even were any "dear listeners" out there.

She liked listening to him talk. She's surprisingly learned quite a lot from him. About earth, mostly. She supposed it was natural to miss your home when you're so far away from it.

He liked telling her about the things he missed. She didn't quite understand why, as he always seemed melancholy after their talks. But he would speak with such fond excitement, so it must bring him some joy to express his longing.

Today, he was talking about the weather of all things.

"Yup, you really don't know what you have until it's cruelly stripped away from you. But I miss it all. Yes dear listeners, I never thought I'd say this, but I miss allergies! I miss the cottonwood in the spring, in all its shitty, fuzzy glory and I miss the fucking ragweed! I want to go outside and sneeze my ass off and squint at everything I look at because it's too damn bright and I forgot my sunglasses because it was supposed to be cloudy and it's sunny out of nowhere!"

"That... doesn't really sound fun."

"Yeah, well, it's not. But it's at least real," he lamented, fiddling with a knob that did nothing. Or if it did, he wasn't aware.

Hera's breath hitched, and she hoped she could mask it as just a glitch. That was odd. She felt that. It wasn't the first time she could "feel" in a sense. She was deeply connected to her electronic mechanisms and coding, and she would definitely feel if something damaged either. She has sensors all around the ship: in the walls the ceilings, the equipment, she even has a few exterior sensors along the sides and docking bays. She'd felt that odd tingle shoot through her wires on a few rare occasions, but it had always been fleeting. Minkowski pressing random buttons on the motherboard to see what they did, Eiffel fixing a dent too close to a sensor, Minkowski clicking and dragging the mouse across the screen... If she could, she would've shuddered at the thought. She tried to focus on what he was saying.

"And they're always right! I don't know how, but every damn time a patch sprouts up, it rains! Guess that's where they got the name though, right?"

"What?"

"The rain flowers," he clarified, tapping his fingers on some buttons. Truth be told, most of the buttons and dials in the coms room were for show, like the decorative smoke stack on the Titanic. The real controls were localized to a single panel, and she had always assumed they had no effect on her. Now, she was glitching out as she fought the urge to laugh.

"Right, right," she agreed, wishing he would just stop twisting that knob.

Of course, she could never be so lucky.

"I tell ya, there's nothing like a good thunderstorm, a rocking chair on an enclosed porch, a cigarette and a cold beer. I really mean it, that is paradise. You can take your sunny beaches with all that fucking sand, I'm a doom and gloom weather kinda guy. But don't get me wrong! I'd literally kill to be on a nice, secluded beach-" he rambled on wistfully, dreaming of all the places that were better than here. She was having trouble focusing when his other hand tapped the empty keyboard, all the while he still played with that fucking dial-

"Wow, okay, glad my heartfelt longing is so funny," he sassed, seemingly out of nowhere. Then she realized, with subsequent horror, that he was giggling. What the hell was going on with her? She needed to get a grip, or maybe a systems reboot, have Minkowski check her wiring, whatever it was, she'd do that later. It took more effort to stop laughing than she would like to admit.

“N͞-͓̫̬̞ͩͮ́n͚̓̃͆̇͘͞o̲̮̼͍̿̀͠, I wasn't laughing at you!" She glitched slightly as she spoke, which wasn't exactly out of the norm for Hera, but it did make Eiffel pay more attention to what she was trying to say.

"Yeah? Then what's so funny?" he asked, crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair. Well, at least he'd stopped fiddling with that stupid dial.

"Well, I, uh... Ï̶͈ͣt̵͖͌ͧͥ̎̀’̆͘s̨̯ hard to explain," she struggled to come up with a straight answer.

"Yeah, yeah," he brushed her off, rolling his eyes.

"I promise I wasn't laughing at you!"

"Oh sure, I believe you!"

"Eiffel!" she whined, catching a glimpse of a smile. "I really wasn't! It's just... I don't know, maybe I have a wire loose somewhere." That seemed to make him concerned, which was the opposite of what she was going for.

"Are you okay? It doesn't hurt, does it?"

"No, it's nothing like that," she was quick to put his worries at ease. "But I'd appreciate it if you stopped messing with that control panel."

"Why? This one doesn't do anything," he back talked, purposefully pressing down on a few buttons. "See? Nothing happened!"

He didn't receive a response. Hera was too busy focusing on containing her laughter, but her lack of a response only served to pique his interest.

"Hera? You there?"

"Mhm!"

His smile looked... different somehow. He thought for a second before finally speaking, "Hey so I've got a question. And I've just been dying to know... Can an AI be ticklish?"

The question threw her off guard, and a short giggle slipped out. "Whahat? N-̭͎́n͊͞o, that's impossible! Come on Eiffel, d-̝͈̑dŏṅ̮’t͓͕͌ be silly."

"See, I'm not sure how impossible it actually is. I mean, you're pretty advanced-"

"Why would an AI even be ticklish?"

Eiffel shrugged. "I don't know, why do you feel pain?" Hera scoffed, and okay, yeah, blunt question.

"Probably to alert me to the well being of the ship. But that serves a purpose!"

"Maybe this does too," he taunted, reaching over to twitch the dial and she couldn't help but shriek.

"Eiffel! Dohohon't!"

"I knew it! You are ticklish! You know, they probably programmed you like this so we'd have some form of entertainment up here."

If she could, she'd be blushing right now. "They did nohohot!" she insisted. The worst part was that she really didn't know why, and that sounded like a cruel, ironic punishment they'd inflict on her. Sure, give the rogue AI the most embarrassing human weakness.

Except... she wasn't entirely sure it was a built in punishment. What if they had designed her specifically to feel more human? Or was it truly just the way her sensors reacted to certain input?

"No no, I can see what they were going for! It's like a video game!" he chuckled gleefully, continuing to play with the extra control panel.

"Shut up, noho it's not!" she scolded. He added his other hand to the mix, pressing buttons and flipping switches. She squealed, and the lights began to flicker.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner? Just think of all the fun you've been missing out on!"

"Ahahahactually I haven't been missing out ohon anything," she sassed before a loud squeal burst from her speakers.

"Well I have! I've been curious about this for months!" he exclaimed, continuing to press the buttons randomly.

Months? No, he wasn't serious, he was just saying that to mess with her! He would've asked as soon as the question entered his mind, like today. If he thought she was ticklish, he would've tried something long before now. But then she remembered all the times in the past few weeks where he would press random buttons, flip switches and pull levers at random. He even willingly offered to do repairs on some severed wires, and he made sure to take as much time as possible. She was able to brush off her reactions then, claiming it just pinched a little. Had he known the whole time?

"Wait ahaha second, Eiffehehel did you know?" she accused before he sent her into another giggle fit as he slid the faders up and down on the board.

"I just wanted to test it out and see-"

"You sneaky little bihihitch!"

"Eh, I've been called worse," he shrugged off the insult.

"Why dihidn't you tell mehehe?" The sincerity of the question made Eiffel pause.

"I... thought you knew?"

"How would I know?"

"Uh, because you can feel it," he deadpanned. Hera really wished she could roll her eyes.

"Well, yeah, but I didn't know what it was! I thought it was like... a bug in my system or something!"

"Oh it's a bug alright," he grinned devilishly. "A tickle bug!" To make his point, he pressed as many buttons as he could with his left hand and turned the dial with his right. Hera squealed, and she didn't even know her voice box went up that high.

"Eiffel! Ihihi'm serious!"

"Alright, I'll stop. For now," he added cryptically, but true to his word, he retracted his hands.

Hera panted for "breath," even though she didn't technic need to. But Eiffel understood the need to compose yourself, and didn't call her out on it.

"You're insufferable!" she finally said, amusement still clear in her voice.

"That's what they tell me," he proudly agreed. "So? What's the verdict?"

"Huh?"

"What're your thoughts on... all that," he gestured vaguely with his hand. She really wished he'd stop moving his fingers like that.

"Oh! Um, w̋ͩ-w̵̷̝el̥̺̏l͍, it felt kinda like my whole system was getting shocked, and I'm pretty sure I've never laughed that much before," she began to explain shyly.

"I didn't hear you say you hated it," Eiffel probed a little deeper.

"I̺͙̯ͦ͛̌ͧ-̲͖̭̝Ì̡-̘̣̈́͡͠I̵̜͗͆ͩͪ͜ d̈́ͨ̑̍̊̿̀i̘̳dň̰̯̯́’̭t͟-" Hera glitched slightly, and she started over. "Hate is a strong word." He didn't say anything else; he didn't have to. He just smiled and shook his head.

Hera found herself stuck halfway between excitement and dread for what the future held in store.

[astral-mariner]

Hopefully this isn’t too stalker-y, but I’ve noticed you say a couple times that you don’t ship Kakavege the same way as most of the fandom. Would you be willing to talk about how you see the pairing and how it’s different from the “default”? Obviously no pressure if you don’t want to talk about it, but I love seeing different interpretations of their relationship (whatever form it may take)

Not too stalker-y! If anything, I'm flattered that anyone would be interested in what I might think about stuff, haha. That said, all of the following is just my personal headcanon. There are lots of fun and valid interpretations of this pairing, and mine is but one of them.

First to clarify: When I'm thinking of the "default" (which is, of course, a very loose term, as the fandom and the shippers are obviously not monolithic at all!), what I have in mind is how Vegeta is constantly put in a submissive and/or bottom role where he gets his absolute shit wrecked and gets all sobbing and unraveled. And while Vegeta getting his shit wrecked is definitely up my alley (lol), I feel like the journey to get to that shit-wrecking doesn't vibe with how I personally interpret each character.

I think a great deal of it has to do with the fact that I don't see Goku as a very sexual person. I think he's very sensual in that he loves physical activities like fighting, eating, etc., but that like, sexual DRIVE just isn't there in the same way that it is for fighting. He probably has a libido, sure, but there's a difference between having a physical urge and being preoccupied with sexual desire. He doesn't really think about sex in the moment unless it's happening to him. In canon, he's often shown to be oblivious or not to understand things involving sex. Not because he's stupid or he can't pick up on things (because he definitely does and even plays dumb to mess with people for fun!), but because he's just on a different wavelength. Things that occur to "normal" people just don't occur to him.

And to me, all of that doesn't really line up with his being characterized as a dominant top most of the time, lol. Someone who exerts his desire upon someone else. (Which is not to say you can't have a submissive-leaning top---you definitely can; I think that is *cough* how Vegeta is with Bulma *cough*.) Now there are definitely situations where I can see Goku entering this headspace, though. Namely, say, if Vegeta nurtured that feral side of Goku's saiyan nature and encouraged him to get in touch with and act upon it. Exerting it on others.

Which brings me to Vegeta's characterization. I don't see him as particularly nurturing, lol. He sees Goku as a rival---someone he wants to tear down, not someone he wants to build up. He's obsessed with and angry at Goku for besting him. And I feel like one of Vegeta's responses to this would be to dominate him in any way he feels that he can. Unravel and defeat him. Even if it's just a pathetic attempt to feel superior or to shove down his real feelings and longings. (Because I think, deep down, Vegeta longs to let go of his NEED to fill a particular role, play the prince, be the best---it's a cage for him, and laying down his desperate desire for power and reveling in weakness would be freeing.)

On top of this, Vegeta strikes me as a person with far more dark, sexual energy. He's repressed as fuck, of course, but he's just BRIMMING with pent up feelings and desires. It even comes out when he fights. When he's dominating someone in battle, he gets really into it. He gets really intimate and personal about it. And considering his past, he's seen some fucking shit out in space. He's not innocent or oblivious even if he is a prude who tried to stay above it all. He knows what sex is, he knows what sexual desire is, he knows what sexual violence is, and he feels all of it intensely even if he doesn't let himself act on it (probably plays into why he's so ANGRY and frustrated all the time, lol). Not to mention the fact that Vegeta wouldn't have to stop and explain to Goku how to fuck him, lol; he'd just fuck him himself and show him what's what (or even sexually dominate him by bottoming from the top, so to speak).

All in all, in my mind, Vegeta would be far more likely to exert sexuality onto Goku vs. the other way around. Act his desires out on Goku. Dominate him in one of the few ways he can. Even though it's pathetic! And perhaps not even what he truly wants (to let go and have his responsibility/power stripped from him). But it's what he would do, and what he'd tell himself he wanted.

All that said, this leads to a "default" dynamic where Vegeta is more sexually dominant than Goku is. Which is against the more common fan interpretation. "Kakavege" is definitely more popular than "Vegekaka." (Even though I personally don't like when people get obsessed with who bottoms or tops... I'm a queer man, I'm messy as fuck, and I like when my ships are messy and complex like me, haha).

Even so, as I mentioned somewhere else before, there are definitely still situations where I can imagine Goku topping and/or being more dominant. Particularly in AUs where he's a lot less innocent and didn't get conked on the head, lmao. I LOVE when Goku snaps and goes feral like he did when he first transformed, though. I also LOVE when Vegeta lets go of his pride and gets his shit wrecked. But I feel like not a lot of people get either character to those places in a way that satisfies me personally when they write the pairing. Takes into account all the little subtleties and complexities of their characters. So it results in me being very picky with my shipping content for the pairing.

And THEN, on top of everything else, there's the issue of the imbalance in their feelings for each other. Vegeta feels far more intensely about Goku than Goku does about Vegeta. Vegeta is fucking obsessed. Whereas Goku has lots of rivals, and Vegeta might be one of his favorites, and he might even have a special bond with him as a saiyan, someone who understands him in a way the others might not, but he's not obsessed with Vegeta. Vegeta is always going to be angsting about what is effectively a situation of unrequited love. The pairing, at least to me, is an extremely angsty and doomed one for that reason. Vegeta just wants so desperately to be noticed and cared about the way he cares about Goku (see: the Majin Stunt). And a lot of people write the ship to be a lot less angsty than this. But I'm all about the angst, lol.

Vegeta really is the more "emotional" of the two despite insisting how little he cares for anyone or anything. Despite Goku wearing his heart on his sleeve more. Or being outwardly affectionate and comfortable sharing his feelings. Vegeta feels for Kakarot deeply even if he doesn't express it outright. Whereas Goku may love Vegeta as he loves everyone---his general love for life and everyone he meets kind of way. But it's not the intense, dark, emotional, romantic obsession that Vegeta has. The two characters are extremely different despite being two sides of the saiyan coin and sharing many important things in common.

I hope that sheds a BIT of light on how I see them? There is so much nuance to these characters. I love hearing other people's thoughts too. There are lots of really cool and interesting reads on them that are different than mine. Thanks for the ask!

[kindalikerackham]

The Black Sails Drama Highlights™️

Like, what the fuck happened over there?

Lucky for you, I was there on the ground floor (even sent in some propaganda that elicited a truly baffling response from the poll runner) because I'm a nut for goofy little tumblr polls and a nut for best little lesser-known-tv-show Black Sails.

Alright, so. @/pirate-battle (from here on out referred to as OP -- the Original Pollster) was running, as one might expect, a pirate bracket. At first glance, it wasn't explicitly presented what the criteria were, so people voted on their preference, often moving along pirate icons (Hook from Muppet Treasure Island)/characters from active fandoms (TAZ), etc etc you know the drill. (Although they later clarified they were looking for favorites, not the "best pirate.")

OP's first mistake, I think, was the assumption that a silly goofy little tumblr competition about characters archetypically ungovernable would remain silly goofy and with minimal strong language.

But this wouldn't become visible until they made their second mistake, creating a first-round poll between James 'brutually murdered a crewmate in the first episode solely to maintain power for his revenge-quest against England' Flint of Black Sails vs Stede 'notable used tissue' Bonnet of OFMD. They did recognize some of the coming danger even with that post, tagging "#I predict slaughter in the tags"

O Apollo, strike down these children with prophecies that bite them in the a--

Anyway. Predictably, there was slaughter in the tags. Violent language rather typical of the tumblr that I came from (the tumblr of the early 2010s), but seemed to be utterly shocking to some OFMD fans.

Exposition time: It should be noted here that there exists at least two-ish different kinds of users of tags. Those that use them to scream personal thoughts into the void and/or whispers into their mutuals' ears, and those sneaky little fools who will peruse everyone's personal little screams/thoughts to their internet buddies. And original posters are relegated to suffer the yelling/whispers without choice.

So that slaughter, in the tags, those rivers of blood through the whispers of a fervent fanbase of a violent and freeing queer show, did reverberate around other users, regardless of etiquette.

And for some of those very sweet very uwu our flag means gay fans, that was.. very scary. (Must be all those spooky theatrics with the smoke and mirrors).

(....Idk??? Maybe I'm just battle-hardened from superwholock, but saying a tag a la "AHHHHHH I'm going to rip something's head off my BOY BETTER WIN" just doesn't really phase me?? Nor does "#I'm literally going to k/m/s if x wins." Overkill? Yeahhh... But this is tumblr. We invented overkill for the media we like. And again, this was in someone's tags.)

Moving on, as tags of that violent nature starting pulling through, and people started vigorously defending black sails as a franchise over ofmd, myself and others sent in some propaganda of my own, urging OFMD fans to really understand that Black Sails is mostly incomparable to OFMD and... Black Sails is just kinda better. Cuts deeper. Genre difference at work here.

Soapbox Side Note: Black Sails can actually be kind of game changing, especially for a show that came out in 2014. There's so much to say about it but it's hard to talk about without spoiling. I might add a link to a good 'things to know' post if you're looking to get into it.

Anyway. OP was starting to lose it.

Like, I really just don't think they had mentally prepared for how truly feral Black Sails folks were/are about that show, and how they were willing to get all HRRRRRRR CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP about it.

Additionally... OP was white, and they were super duper unprepared to engage with any of the discourse about racism that these shows dig up (They're about pirates, and a lot of pirates engaged in the slave trade. Or had freed slaves on their crew. Some even owned slaves themselves. It was complicated and pirates are typically a white fantasy vehicle and anyway I'm getting off-track--)

OP started to really fan the flames with more and more visibly emotional responses

They said "it's not a competition" between the two shows, despite it... being a literal competition...

They called people out for "gatekeeping," but didn't really define what it meant in the context of saying one gay pirate show was way better than the other.

They told Black Sails fans not to express negative feelings towards OFMD on the internet (because good representation is the god us internet queers pray to, and we wouldn't want some network exec to say "oh those mean people on the internet, better not renew the popular pirate romcom" obvi)

After some more of this, they then threatened to overturn the results of the poll entirely and remove Flint from the poll wholesale, despite the fact that he had won. (Which is hilarious if you know anything about Flint in Black Sails. He's literally That Guy That Makes People Break Democracy Attempting To Unseat Him).

Finally, after a day of trying to ignore the fact that they'd become a meme within black sails circles (one post even screenshotted then with "new copypasta just dropped" yikes), they threw in the towel. And bless them, I do think they needed the break. They were kind of going through it.

In conclusion,

The Black Sails fans pulled what I might even daresay to be,, , a fuckery "of censorship and fear",, over OFMD fans and some poor unprepared poll runner who had no skin in the game, while using only strong language and some mild mean-spirited memes (95% of which in their own tags and posts).

[mysticinsightstarot]

Hello! hope you're doing well, lovely. For the ask me anything, if you feel comfortable answering (no pressure) - how did you get into tarot because your readings are truly incredible and resonate from the first to the last word, not to mention how beautifully written are!! 😍😍

Umm it's quite long story but i will cut it short

In 2021 ,

I was cheated by my boyfriend (i don't wanf to blame him idk what to say just that's all i can say ) ......after 2 months i lost my grandpa , then after 3 months i lost my granna and then again after 1 month i lost one of my friends all to death. And all of them had such sudden deaths i couldn't even grasp the uncertainty of events..

I m born spritual like i have been always inetrested in God and powers beyond our understanding. This fact has led me to be emotionally bold i don't usually cry that's true....but this backfired me when i was in my down phase so later on a friend of mine got a tarot reading for me she believed in this ....and it explained my situation so well....reader told me i will probably release my stress ans emotions when i help others and here i m

In the starting i only helped my friends and family but with passing time i felt the urge to help people beyond my social circle.

As for writing, well i have been writing ✍️ even since i was 5 and i have been a registered author even since i was 15 .....i love writing that's why i put it in alot of efforts in delivering the readings even though i m not a native english speaker i love the language so much 😀 ❤️ 😊

Well maybe not all of you know it but i m 19....and when i mention these things to people like i had a boyfriend and he cheated and i got a tarot reading they don't really take me seriously. We can clarify this in few points

As per my family doctor my mental age is 6 years older than my original age

Love has no limits irrespective of your age it just happens ....not to mention there are some lessons always tied which we need to learn

As for tarot i have nothing much to say as long as i believe in God i don't think so we need to answer it much.

Hope I answered your question well. I tried my best not to sound as a victim just expressing my story.

Loads of love and blessings 🙌 💖

[borderline-culture-is]

(MAJOR CW: RAPE, ABLEISM, THE MELANIE MARTINEZ AND PUMPKIN THE GENTLEMAN SITUATIONS, SUICIDE THREATS, PSYCH WARDS) --- bpd culture is making a tony crynight discord server out of spite because nobody in the already-existing server seems to understand wtf having bpd is actually like and how to properly communicate boundaries with someone who has bpd

Context:

(disclaimer: some details may be inaccurate because I don't 100% remember what happened, and I'm trying to recall it to the best of my ability)

in the first server, I was talking about the pumpkin the gentleman situation because I was frustrated at how people were handling it(mainly through unneeded jokes about a particular video that had nothing to do with the overall situation), and at first, everyone was agreeing with me on what I said, but after I brought up the melanie martinez situation (because the same shit was happening to that situation too, mainly calling her "felony fartinez" and the ungodly amount of rape threats getting thrown around), they started to switch up on me and even started to make jokes about the ptg situation themselves just to confirm that their opinion changed.

Frustrated, I ended up leaving the server and blocking a few people that were in the server, splitting from them in the process, and I was left emotionally dysregulated for the rest of the day afterwards.

A few hours later, I unblocked one of my friends and apologized to him for what happened, and he said I was allowed to come back as long as I didn't talk about the ptg situation because everyone was uncomfortable with talking about it entirely.

Now, I know this probably sounds unreasonable, and I'm not saying he was in the wrong for this because he didn't know what happened himself, but I feel like the people in the server should've just communicated beforehand that they weren't comfortable with the discussion of the ptg situation, instead of pretending to agree up untill the mention of the melanie martinez situation, because that just sounds like they switched up on me to trigger me on purpose, so naturally, that set me off, like a lot.

So I got back on the server and started mass-blocking everyone, and then I left after that. The stress from that + some unrelated stuff that was going on sent me into a spiral that led to me threatening to kill myself (and just to clarify: when it happened I was experiencing suicidal urges, so yes, I was actually gonna go through with it). I put an end date in my bio on all of my social medias and left it at that.

Two of the people from the server tried messaging me, but because i was in a split from them, I told them to fuck off and leave me alone. This will be important later.

I'm just honestly lucky that I had an irl friend who was staying the night that day, because they saw what was going on and went to check up on me, same with my mom and sister. That, and also seeing ptg's apology video where he explained a few things and took accountability for the things he did wrong, helped me calm down and regulate to a point where I could think logically. Realizing what I just did, I decided that maybe it was time for me to get help.

So after a bit, I came back to the server and apologized for what happened, and let everyone know that I was voluntarily admitting myself to the psych ward because I realized the mental state I was in was getting worse.

Let's just say people weren't too happy about it, because they all started to chew me out, mostly through condescending comments and yelling at me over what happened. This caused me to dysregulate again, and I tried everything I could to get them to understand what I was going through, while repeatedly saying that I was sorry because I didn't want the friends I genuinely cared about to leave me (abandonment issues am I right). I brought up how I was getting admitted to the psych ward, and one of them said "great for you" in a condescending tone, just as an example of the condescension being thrown around in there. They were also telling me that I was trying to manipulate them because of the amount of times I said "i'm sorry."

one of my friends was trying to de-escalate the situation, but the people in the server kept pushing and making it worse. I eventually left the server crying, and the friends in question was comforting me the whole time, which helped me a lot.

I took some time to reflect on what happened while I was at the ward, and even after I was discharged, and after a few weeks, I realized that it wasn't entirely my fault, and in fact, it's no big surprise why I did what I did.

the people in the server manipulated me into believing that I could trust them with whatever opinion I had in mind, and then they decided to switch up on me with no warning, triggering me into an episode that led me to do something bad and out of character (because before this I haven't threatened myself since 2023), and then they blamed me for what happened, further worsening my mental state.

If that doesn't sound like reactive abuse, idk what does.

The reason why I say that is because they KNEW I had bpd, I disclosed it to everyone the same day I got diagnosed, and they all acted supportive of it, and then used that to their advantage when I was at my most vulnerable to emotional dysregulation.

Of course, I'm aware that threatening suicide isn't okay regardless, and it's triggering for some people, but at the same time, I couldn't think logically when it happened, so obviously I acted in a way that was unreasonable. I am trying to work on myself a bit more to prevent something like that from happening again, and I'm also taking mood stabilizers to help with the emotional dysregulation.

I'm just extremely frustrated at how stigmatized BPD is, because I feel like what happened was because of the stigma, and what they did just basically contributed to it, and I also feel like some of them were uneducated about bpd, which also contributed to what happened. But overall i'm still shaken from what happened, and I'd rather not be associated with that server anymore.

They did end up banning me after what happened, so in retaliation, I made my own server, which has better security measures and more strict rules regarding ableism and triggering content than the last one. A few of my friends are currently in that server, and I'm planning to publish the official link for it here on Tumblr and on youtube after I post this.

Constructive criticism on this question is welcome, because I want to know if I was in the wrong here, and if so if there are things I can do to improve myself should I be in another situation like this.

All I can say anymore is this: Niko, go fuck yourself. <3

.

[taeswolfie]

𝑱𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒂 𝑭𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 : 𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝑵𝒊𝒏𝒆

☽︎𝑾𝒐𝒍𝒇'𝒔 𝑩𝒂𝒏𝒆☾︎

Ch.08 - Ch.10

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Stiles Stilinski x fem!Reader

Word count: 4.4k

Kate Argent chases Derek's car down the roads thinking she's chasing Derek, but when she gets word that he's on foot at the iron works she wonders who's actually driving his car. The answer: Y/n is the one behind the wheel, Stiles beside her and Scott in the back. Stiles glances out the back window while she focuses in front of them. "Faster?" She asks.

"Much faster." He answers. She grits her teeth and shifts gears, accelerating even more. After a bit Stiles looks back again to see the car still on their tail. "Y/n, I don't think you're grasping the concept of the car chase here."

"Sure I do. We're in a car, we're being chased."

"If she goes faster, she'll kill us." Scott says.

"Well, if she doesn't go faster, they're gonna kill us."

"I need to keep her on our tail. If I go too fast we could actually lose her." Y/n speeds up just a bit to make him feel better.

Tires screech and Stiles looks back yet again. "They're gone." Y/n looks in the rearview while Scott turns around. Stiles presses a button on the handheld radio and it beeps before coming to life.

"All units, suspect is on foot heading into the iron works." The Sheriff's voice informs.

Y/n huffs as she speeds up yet again to pick up Derek. She skids to a stop as they near him and Stiles opens the door. "Get in." He urges as he climbs in the back with Scott while Derek hops in the front, bullets from Mr. Argent following. The tires squeal as Y/n peels out of there.

"What part of laying low don't you understand?" Scott chastises.

"Damn it, I had him!" Derek complains.

"Who, the Alpha?" Stiles wonders.

"Yes! He was right in front of me, and the friggin' police showed up."

"Whoa, hey, they're just doing their jobs." Derek glares at Stiles. "Uh, yeah..."

"Yeah, thanks to someone who decided to make me the most wanted fugitive in the entire state." He looks pointedly at Scott.

"Can we seriously get past that? I made a dumbass mistake. I get it."

"All right, enough!" Y/n yells to get them to stop.

"How did you find him?" Stiles asks. Derek looks at them, refusing to answer.

"Can you try to trust us for at least a millisecond?" Y/n gives Derek a meaningful glance that the boys in the back miss.

"Yeah, all of us." Stiles leans forward, but backs up again at Derek's look. "Or just them. I'll be back here." He settles back and Y/n manages a twitch of a smile at him.

"And stop with the glares, please. I swear your face is gonna stick like that forever if it already hasn't."

Derek ignores her comment. "Look, the last time I talked to my sister, she was close to figuring something out. She found two things. The first was a guy named Harris."

"Our Chemistry teacher?" Stiles pipes up again.

"Of course." Y/n grumbles.

"Why him?" Scott wonders.

"I don't know yet." Derek answers.

"What's the second?"

"Some kind of symbol." He pulls a piece of paper from his pocket and unfolds it to show a drawn picture. Y/n sighs when she sees it and Scott doesn't react any better. "What? You know what this is?"

"Seen it on a necklace." She answered.

"Allison's necklace." Scott clarifies.

...

"This is gonna be impossible, you know." Scott says as the teens walk into school.

"Y/n, can't you ask her if you can borrow it?" Stiles suggests.

"It's a family heirloom, you can't just borrow something like that." She shakes her head lightly. "Why don't you just "borrow" it?" She made finger quotes around borrow. At Scott's questioning look she elaborates. "Steal it."

"I can't do that!" He quietly exclaims.

"Why don't you just ask her to borrow it?" Stiles asks Scott.

"How?" The boy questions.

"It's easy. You just say, 'hey, Allison, can I borrow your necklace to see if there's anything on it or in it that can lead me to an Alpha werewolf that I need to kill in order to get back together with you?"

"You're not helping."

"Why don't you just talk to her."

"She won't talk to me. What if she, like, only takes it off in the shower or something?"

"That's why you ease-" He stops them walking. "That's why you ease back into it, okay? Get back on the good side, remind her of the good times. And then you ask for the necklace." Stiles notices Scott has a slight smirk as he looks at nothing. "You're thinking about her in the shower, aren't you?"

"Yeah." Scott admits.

"Boys." Y/n mutters with an eye roll.

"All right, stay focused, okay? Get the necklace, get the Alpha, get cured, get Allison. In that order. Got it?"

Scott nods. "Get the necklace." They go their separate ways.

When they meet again later Scott tells them that Jackson figured out what he is. Oh, bother. Y/n sighs internally. "How the hell did he find out?" Y/n asks.

"I have no idea."

"Did he say it out loud?" Stiles asks. "The word?"

"What word?"

"Werewolf. Did he say, 'I know you're a werewolf'?"

"No, but he implied it pretty freaking clearly."

"Okay, maybe it's not as bad as it seems. I mean, he doesn't have any proof, right? And if he wanted to tell someone, who's gonna believe him anyway?"

"How about Allison's father?"

"It's kinda bad." Y/n grimaced a bit.

"I need a cure. Right now."

"I don't think it's that easy." Y/n hated to say it but she wasn't even sure there was a cure. There's rumors but as far as she knew, once you're bitten, that's it. You either change or die.

"Does he know about Allison's father?" Stiles asks.

"I don't know."

"Okay, where's Derek?"

"Hiding, like we told him to. Why?"

"I have another idea. It's gonna take a little time and finesse, though."

"We have that game tonight. It's quarterfinals. And it's your first game."

"I know, I know. Look, do you have a plan for Allison yet?"

"She's in our next class." He tilts his head towards Y/n.

"Get the necklace." Stiles walks away leaving the two to go to their class. Scott pauses when he sees Allison and Y/n takes the seat to her left, the seat on her right is open. Scott goes to sit there, but Lydia puts her stuff on the desk.

"Try another row, sweetheart." She smiles at him and he's forced to take the seat behind Lydia.

"Okay, class, let's settle down." The teacher says. "Let's get our books out."

Scott leans forward a bit towards Allison. "Allison." He whispers.

She glances at him. "Hey. Class is beginning." She whispers back.

"I know. I'll shut up. I just, um- I have some stuff on my phone that I wanted to send you. I thought you might like it."

She nods a little. "Okay." And he does so, watching her reaction as she looks at the photos he sent. Y/n glanced over at her and saw the pictures of them together. Wrong move, Y/n winced. That is not something you want to send the girl who broke up with you when she's still trying to figure stuff out.

The teacher turned back to the class then. "All right, I'd like to return to our discussion from yesterday with a more in-depth analysis of Iago and the way in which he preyed upon Othello's jealousies." Allison gathered her things and left the class with a hurt look towards Scott who jumped up to follow her out. "We seem to have some here today." Y/n sighs with a small shake of her head.

She sits across from Scott at lunch when Stiles sits next to him, his tray clattering on the table. "Did you get her to give you the necklace?" He asked Scott.

"Not exactly."

"Ah. What happened?"

"She told me not to talk to her. At all."

"So she's not giving you-"

"She's not giving me the necklace!"

"Well, did you find anything else out?"

"Just that I know nothing about girls, and that they're totally psychotic."

"Hey." Y/n piped up. "I take offense to that, mister. Not all girls are psychotic. Some are just a bit nuts. Me? I'm psychotic." She takes a bite of food and smirks with a wink.

"Okay, I came up with a plan 'B' just in case anything like this happened." Stiles says.

"What's plan 'B'?" Scott wonders.

"Just steal the stupid thing."

"You mean your plan 'B' was to use my idea as yours." Y/n raised a brow at Stiles.

"More like kept safe in back pocket."

"Uh-huh, sure." She said unbelieving, but still smiled.

"Couldn't we try at least getting to Harris?" Scott asks.

Stiles shook his head. "My dad put him on a 24-hour protective detail, okay? The necklace is all we got. Steal it. Thank you."

Scott suddenly perks up at something over her shoulder and looks at his friends. "Guys, he's watching us." The two look over and see that 'he' is Jackson and he is indeed watching them, mainly watching Scott though.

"Ignore him." Y/n says dismissively. She vaguely hears the crunch of an apple and Scott flinches.

"Scott..." Jackson's low tone comes over the chatter of other students. Y/n would normally ignore it but it's hard to when Scott starts to be bothered and she can't help but listen to it. "You can hear me? You can, can't you?"

"What's wrong?" Stiles asks.

"Jackson's talking to me. He knows I can hear him." Stiles glances over at him, but Scott stops him. "Look at me. Just talk to me. Act normal. Pretend nothing's happening."

"Are you trying to pretend not to hear me?"

"Say something. Talk to me!" Scott urges. Stiles flails his hands while Y/n frowns.

"I can't think of anything. My mind's a complete blank." Stiles says.

"Your mind's blank? You can't think of something to say?"

"Not under this kind of pressure."

"Y/n?" Scott gives her a pleading look and all she can do is give him a helpless shrug. It's like when someone asks you what your favorite book is and all of a sudden you've never read a single thing in your entire life.

Stiles looks back at the table. "FYI, he's not even sitting with them anymore."

Scott looks around but can't find the blonde. "Where the hell is he?"

"Looking for me, McCall? I'm right here." He chuckles. "So what else can you do? Huh? Can you see better? Are you stronger, more powerful? No, I knew there was no way you suddenly got that good at lacrosse. Which means you're actually a cheater, aren't you? I mean, can you even play lacrosse?"

"Yes." Scott unintentionally answers.

"I'll bet my new Co-Captain's gonna score a bunch of shots tonight, aren't you? And while you're pretending you're not a lying cheat, I'm gonna ruin your life if you don't give me what I want. And you know what I'm gonna start with? Her. I'm gonna destroy any chance you'll ever have with her." Scott grips his water bottle and his hand lightly trembles from the effort of not crushing it as he takes a sip. "And when I'm done with that, I'm gonna get her all alone, and I'm gonna get my hands all over that tight little body."

Y/n had to slightly grit her teeth to keep from physically gagging at that remark. She has to keep her expression in unaware concern for her friend, but pretending like you can't hear more than others comes easy when you've done it your entire life. "Scott, you can't let him get to you." She tries to help.

"You can't let him do this. You can't let him have this kind of power over you, okay?" Stiles tries too, but it doesn't seem to be working.

"I'm gonna do everything you never got the chance to do," Scott grips the edges of his tray and that starts to shake, "and, Scott, she's gonna beg for more. I'll bet she likes to get loud. Maybe she's even a screamer. How are you gonna feel, Scott... When she's screaming my name?" The tray snaps in half in Scott's hands, the loud sound making everyone become quiet and look at him. Scott glares when he finally finds Jackson as he takes another obnoxious bite of his apple.

...

Stiles swings his bag off of his shoulders and sets it down, going straight to his desk. Y/n follows, only pausing when she sees Derek behind the door. She raises a brow at him in question. "How did you-" She starts to ask, but Noah's voice cuts her off.

"Hey, Stiles!"

"Yo, D- Derek." Stiles turns around and finally spots him, calling his name in shock. Derek puts a finger to his lips and gestures for Stiles to get rid of his dad. Stiles scrambles for the door and tries to act natural as he shuts the door and stands in front of it.

"What'd you say?"

"What? I said 'yo... D-Dad'."

"Uh, listen, I've got something I've got to take care of, but I'm gonna be there tonight. I mean, your first game."

"My first game. Gosh, great. Awesome. Uh... Good."

"I'm very happy for you. And I'm really proud of you."

"Oh, thanks. Me too. I'm happy and proud... Of myself."

Derek looks at Y/n, his expression saying, "You really like this idiot?" She just shrugs with an amused smile.

"So they're really gonna let you play, right?"

"Yeah, dad. I'm first line. Believe that?"

"I'm very proud."

"Oh, me too. Again, I'm- oh." Noah goes to give Stiles a hug. "Huggie... Huggie, huggie..." Stiles awkwardly tries to keep his dad from suspecting anyone is in his room.

"See you there."

"Take it easy."

"Oh, and, uh, say hi to Y/n for me." Noah gives him a knowing smirk as Stiles sputters at his retreating form.

"Uh, y-yeah. Sure." He sighs once his dad is out of sight and goes back into his room, closing the door and instantly being pinned to it by Derek.

Y/n pushes Derek away and glares at him. "What did I say about touching him? Don't."

"If you say one word-" He points at Stiles over her shoulder.

"Oh, what, you mean, like, 'hey dad, Derek Hale's in my room with Y/n... Bring your gun'?" Derek doesn't say anything. "Yeah, that's right. If I'm harboring your fugitive ass, it's my house, my rules, buddy." Derek nods after a second and Stiles gives a faint laugh. He walks around Y/n, but jumps when Derek feigns a lunge. "Oh, my God!" Y/n glares at Derek as Stiles plops down in his desk chair.

"Scott didn't get the necklace?"

"No. He's still working on it. But there's something else we can try." Derek makes a gesture for him to continue. "The night we were trapped at the school, Scott sent a text to Allison asking her to meet him there."

"So?"

"So it wasn't Scott." Y/n informed.

"Well, can you find out who sent it?"

Stiles shook his head. "No, not us. But I think I know somebody who can."

"You want me to do what?" Turns out the 'somebody' Stiles knew was Danny who now stands next to Stiles as he sits at his desk.

"Trace a text."

"I came here to do lab work. That's what lab partners do."

"And we will, once you trace the text."

"And what makes you think I know how?"

"I-I looked up your arrest report, so..."

"I-I was 13. They dropped the charges."

"Whatever."

"No, we're doing lab work." Danny grabs a spare chair and sits next to Stiles at the desk intent on doing lab work. He glances behind them to look at Y/n, who's perched on the edge of Stiles' bed, and Derek, who's sat in a chair against the wall across from them. "Why is Y/n here?"

"I just came to admire Stiles." She got up from the bed and instead leaned her hip against Stiles' desk to look down at him, smiling when Stiles blinked at her.

"Okay." Danny nodded before he glanced at Derek again. "Who's he again?"

"Uh..." It took Stiles a moment for his brain to catch up from Y/n's comment and presence, but when it did he said the first thing he could think of. "My cousin... Miguel." Y/n raised a brow at him in amusement as Derek just glared up from the book he was looking at.

"Is that blood on his shirt?"

Stiles looked at the spot. "Yeah. Yes. Well, he gets these horrible nosebleeds. Hey, Miguel. I thought I told you you could borrow one of my shirts." He urges Derek with his eyes and the man shuts the book with a 'snap', tossing it onto the bed. He got up and took off his shirt, revealing his triskele tattoo between his shoulder blades, and started to rummage through the dresser. Y/n tilted her head and narrowed her eyes a bit at the tattoo, the image familiar yet she's unable to place it at the moment.

"So anyway, I mean, we both know you have the skills to trace that text, so we should probably-"

"Uh, Stiles?" Derek calls.

"Yes?"

"This..." He tugs the shirt between his hands. "No fit."

"Then try something else on. Sorry." He said to Danny only to see him staring at 'Miguel'. Danny averts his eyes when he notices he's been caught. Stiles and Y/n share a look. "Hey, that one looks pretty good, huh?" Derek had put on a blue and orange striped shirt. "What do you think, Danny?"

"Huh?" He tries to keep his eyes away from the man.

"The shirt."

"It's... It's not really his color."

Derek takes the shirt off and looks for another. Y/n lowered her voice. "You swing for a different team, but you still play ball, don't you, Danny boy?" Y/n smiled at him.

"You're horrible people."

Stiles sighs. "I know. It keeps me awake at night."

"I sleep like a baby." She smirks.

"Anyway, about that text."

"Stiles!" Derek calls again. "None of these fit."

Stiles looks from the shirtless Derek to Danny. "I'll need the ISP, the phone number, and the exact time of the text." Danny relents and works on Stiles computer. Y/n and Stiles share a discreet high five while the other two aren't looking at them.

After a while the four gather around the desk, Derek now with a shirt, as Danny types. He sighs once he finishes. "There. The text was sent from a computer. This one."

"Registered to that account name?" Derek asks. Danny nods.

"No, no, no, no. That can't be right." Stiles denies.

"There's no way." Y/n agrees. They're so in denial because the name that comes up is Melissa McCall.

...

Y/n, Stiles and Derek sit in the Jeep in front of the hospital, trying to figure out how they're going to find out who actually sent the message. Y/n shivers a bit. She hadn't gotten the chance to get a warmer jacket for the night so she was very cold. "My hands are freezing." She idly complained.

"Sorry." Stiles apologized. "Uh, I can turn the heat on." He reached to turn the car back on.

"No, it's okay." She stopped him by grabbing his hand, but when she felt how warm it was she held on with both of hers. He gave her a questioning look and she lightly shrugged. "Your hands are warm." She smiled at his flustered state from the contact and they just looked at each other for a moment.

"Can you guys save your cutesy heart eyed moments for later?" Derek grumbled from the backseat and Y/n shot him an annoyed look.

"We didn't- we weren't-" Stiles sputtered. "That- that wasn't a moment."

"It wasn't?" Y/n asked him seemingly hurt, but honestly she just wanted to tease him.

"I mean, was it? Did you want it to be?"

"I wouldn't be opposed to it." Her lips quirked up in a half smile and he couldn't help the slightly hopeful one come to him.

"Oh, my God. Your chemo signals are crazy." Derek groaned in annoyance.

"Stop sniffing our chemo signals then, Derek." She snapped.

"I can't. They're giving me a headache."

"Oh, you must be picking up on the migraine I get every time you talk. So sorry." She gave him a sad smile yet her tone was dripping with sarcasm. No more can be said between the two as Stiles' phone goes off, a picture from Scott and a call a minute later.

"Did you get the picture?"

"Yeah, we did, and it looks just like the drawing." Stiles answered.

Derek grabs Stiles' wrist to use the phone, making the boy have to bend at an awkward angle to stop it from hurting. "Hey, is there something on the back of it? There's gotta be something. An inscription, an opening, something."

"No, no, the thing's flat. And, no, it doesn't open. There's nothing in it, on it, around it, nothing. And where are you? You're supposed to be here. You're first line."

"Where the hell is Bilinski? Huh?" They hear Coach ask Scott.

"'Bilinski'?" Y/n mutters in question.

"Don't ask." Stiles slightly shakes his head.

"Man, you're not gonna play if you're not here to start."

"I know. Look, if you see my dad, can you tell him- tell him I'll be there, I'll just be a little late, okay? All right, thanks." Stiles hangs up.

"You're not gonna be able to make it." Y/n said with a small frown.

"I know."

"And you didn't tell him about his mom, either." Derek noted.

"Not till we find out the truth."

"By the way, one more thing."

"Yeah." Stiles turned his head to look at Derek just as the man pushed his head down to hit the steering wheel.

"Derek! I swear if you don't stop-" Y/n's threat is cut off by Stiles' exclamation of pain.

"Oh, God! What the hell was-"

"You know what that was for." He pointed at Stiles. "Go. Gooo!" Stiles gets out and heads towards the hospital doors. Then Derek faced Y/n as she watched Stiles walk away.

"Touch me and I break your face." She warned.

After a while of searching Stiles can't find Melissa or anyone else for that matter so he calls Y/n and she puts him on speaker. "Yeah, I said I can't find her."

"Look, ask for Jennifer. She's been looking after my uncle." Derek instructed.

Stiles does as told, but doesn't find anyone in the room either. "Yeah, well, he's not here either."

"What?"

"He's not here. He's gone, Derek."

Derek is confused for a moment before his eyes widen in realization. "Stiles, get out of there right now- it's him! He's the Alpha! Get out!"

"Stiles!" Y/n calls in alarm and bolts for the hospital, Derek hot on her heels.

Stiles backs away from the room and looks to his side to see Peter Hale up and about, old burn scars on the right side of his face. "You must be Stiles." He says.

Stiles backs up and turns to run, but stops when he sees Jennifer standing in his way. "What are you doing here? Visiting hours are over."

"You..." He points at her before looking at Peter. "And him." He points at Peter now. "You're- you're the one who-" He looks at her as he pieces things together. "Oh, my- and he's the-" He looks at Peter again. "Oh, my God, I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die." He keeps looking between the two, helpless.

Suddenly Y/n comes up behind Jennifer, grabbing the back of her head and ramming her face into the wall, knocking the woman out cold. "That's not nice, little witch." Peter tuts.

"Like I give a shit right now." She sasses.

"She's my nurse."

"She's a psychotic bitch helping you kill people." Derek stands next to Y/n. "Get out of the way." He ordered Stiles.

"Oh, damn." He dropped down to the ground and Y/n tried to help coax him to her.

"You think I killed Laura on purpose? One of my own family?" Peter advances and Derek growls, eyes flashing and canines extending. Derek jumps and pushes off the desk to vault himself at Peter, but the older Hale simply grabs him and shoves him against the wall. He then throws Derek into another before he falls to the ground. Stiles flails as he tries to avoid them. Y/n grabs him by the scruff of his jacket to pull him in a safer direction. Peter picks Derek up by the throat, the Beta holding onto his wrist to get him to let go. "My mind, my personality were literally burned out of me." He starts to drag Derek down the hall. "I was driven by pure instinct." He lets Derek drop and he grunts when he hits the ground. Peter crouches and fishes in Jennifer's pocket for her keys.

"You want forgiveness?" Derek gets up and punches Peter. He goes to hit him again yet Peter blocks, grabs his jacket, and headbutts him.

"I want understanding." He kicks Derek in the chest and he flies back. "Do you have any idea... What it was like for me during those years?" Derek spits blood on the ground as he starts to get back up. "Slowly healing, cell by cell. Even more slowly coming back to consciousness." Stiles scrambles around a desk and stops when he sees Derek on the ground. Y/n pulls him back by the collar to keep out of sight. "Yes, becoming an Alpha, taking that from Laura pushed me over a plateau in the healing process. I can't help that." Derek gets up and swipes at him, Peter dodging his fists before catching one in his own, squeezing until Derek's down on a knee. "I tried to tell you what was happening. I tried to warn you." He hauls Derek up and throws him into the protective glass over the nurse's station and over the desk. Derek crawls away and Peter follows.

"Come on." Y/n urged quietly. "This way. Go, go, go." Y/n grabbed Stiles' hand and they ran from the hospital. The feel of the Alpha's anger still lingers on her, raising the hairs on the back of her neck and fueling her legs to go faster.

Ch.10

[trashlie]

[‼️fp 237 spoilers] ahhh ashlie we're always on the same wavelength <3 sorry for going off a bit in the last asks, i can get a little fiery ehe 😅 and right it's absolutely understandable why nol is the way he is, why he acts the way he does why he's walking in circles and if anything i'm frustrated FOR him because he is in such an unfortunate situation and you can tell he's absolutely terrified ;; the stronger his feelings are, the bigger the fear that something terrible is gonna happen to her, the stronger the urge to keep his distance to avoid that. because how could he live with himself if/when that happens? especially after what happened at the formal? like... i get it, i really do ;A; but you are also correct, nothing can be done about yui for now, but he at least can change the way he treats her! and, if shinae is willing to deal with the risks and danger that he brings, then it's her choice! and she is responsible for her own actions and choices!!

and i've been thinking the same thing! if they were supposed to part on bad terms, it could've happened after the dance. but instead we have the 3 day extension leading up to christmas (there *are* medical facilities in prisons so they could've taken him in but no), the "convince me", shin's bandana that she *still* has to get back, and also why are we moving so fast with nol barely able to hold back and the focus on her lips and shin being so feral? why these realizations and desires *now*, when they could've begun after jailtime?? it's obviously leading to *something*. otherwise it would be too anticlimactic. ILY has never been about quick reward so i'm not mad the buildup is taking its time. nol had the talk with dieter next is kousuke and then mayyyybe (big maybe) alyssa? since he's gonna get his phone back? and we might also have the shinae-dieter talk and then shinae-nol will probably be last. i would not be surprised if she shows up on the last day and that will be the climax. and quim is dangling it right in front of us so let's just hope she eventually gives us what we want, what the story needs, instead of yanking it away because then what were all these episodes even for? we'd be taking 10 steps back and for what? a gotcha moment?? sdghdgh GRHHH YELLS. 💥

and 1000% agreed shin is gonna have to do the heavy lifting and if she convinces him with a kiss then so be it. if she has to be a lil morally gray and break her own rules and kiss a taken man (no matter the nature of his relationship with alyssa, it's still a relationship), so that *he* can break his own rules, then fine. and look we know the effect of resting on her shoulder had on him, a kiss would completely undo him. convince me this is not what you want convince me you can throw me away now. HE CAN'T. GAME OVER. there is no way he'd be able to argue. seriously if the "convince me" comes back this time from shin i'll explode. 🤸🏾 and i KNOW she has it in her girl you can't keep letting him push you around you can't keep getting flustered under his gaze forever stand up and give back the energy go get what you want!! and ALSO "i don't have time for this" "it's not going to happen" yadda yadda that's FINE nothing has to happen mutual feelings and even a kiss don't mean you gotta start a relationship just talk and come to an agreement. be on the same page. GOD.

-slightly more optimistic lil anon 😼

ah sorry to add on to my prev ask: to clarify, IF we're heading into a kiss as a means to convince nol, to change his mind, then it will really depend on how quim executes it, how the conversation goes what the circumstances are... and i want shinae to give her best effort and not back down but i really wouldn't want her to force anything physical on him. consent is important! again, just to clarify, because i realized what i said could be potentially controversial. no forced kisses, that's not how i meant it! my apologies! -lil anon 😼

PLSSSS you are right we ARE always on the wavelength so no need to apologize for getting fiery because SAME! You should have seen me going through the stages of grief and denial after that episode lmao It was.... intense I have so many feelings alkfjakfjkafkajfjafj

also don't worry I know what you mean, huhuhu! Maybe someone out there might have misunderstood but I think we're both on the same page when we talk about that and, frankly, given that this is fiction and it's a controlled environment.... a kiss in this scenario would yeah be something that is welcome! I'm trying to think of how to explain this lmao but I'm sure you understand what I mean! Because it's like.... it IS something he wants, but he's trying so hard to deny himself that.

Like yes this is basically where my shred of hope remains: there HAS been too much build up, our guy keeps focusing on her mouth, he received that 3-day extension and that ABSOLUTELY provides narrative purpose, he still has her bandana, "convince me", etc. etc. It absolutely would be incredibly anti-climatic to send him away without them talking. Like you said, I'm not even here urging them to get into a relationship! That's fine, the circumstances are *not great* and if he's that afraid maybe that could be a compromise. That "This isn't going to happen" at this time because he's so afraid of the consequences, but that it CAN eventually happen. To me, the important thing is that they TALK about it. Acknowledge their mutual feelings, don't deny them. Acknowledge that they want each other!!!!! Okay!!!!!

Like, I guess at this point the conflict is this: Nol and Shinae have incredibly strong feelings for each other, but Nol feels both like an asshole because Dieter likes her too, but also afraid because he is very convinced that terrible things will come to those he cares about. He can't turn off those feelings, though, so he can only feign apathy, but at this point, it doesn't matter. Shinae is in Yui's clutches. He doesn't know this though - yet. But this is our conflict. Shinae is afraid that Nol is throwing her away and she absolutely refuses to let him do this. This has happened before and this time she will not stand for it! This time she will prevent it.

Now she knows that she has feelings for him. Maybe when she wakes up, we'll get to see her dwelling more, because Maya already told her "maybe he likes you and he's being mean so you don't find out". Shinae, bless her little heart, thinks that Nol can't possibly like her because he has a girlfriend - a hot, gorgeous, famous, talented girlfriend - but she NEEDS to sit down and think about everything that lead up to that argument. His insistence that he cannot be alone with her. The intense way he asked her to dance. His fingers in her hair leaning so close to listen to her music, the finger dancing, his finger hooking around hers, the way he looked at her, his head on her shoulder so calm he could sleep! She doesn't even know he wasn't on the morphine drip!

Shinae's whole goal is that she doesn't want to lose him, and now that she knows what she feels about him, why she can't lose him, that perhaps Maya is right, I think she'll be very determined to talk to him, to fight back. Something we've seen so far is that Nol tends to have the advantage. He was the one who figured out his feelings and began to suspect hers first. There's so many things he's never let her in on, leaving her in the dark. But likewise, there are things he doesn't know about her, too. I feel like her pure determination and fear of losing him will be a worthy adversary of his own fear, that even as he tries to put those walls up and push her away she isn't backing down. We saw her try to break down his door!!!!!!!!!!

So yeah, I feel like a convince me kiss is a really good option, because much like when Nol held Shinae in place at the Parks' place when she tried to run away and avoid her feelings of vulnerability, I think she needs to hold him in place, too. Stop running away, stop lying, stop trying to deny what he can't. Does all of this really mean nothing? Can you really throw all of this away? It feels like that would come before actually talking, because yes they kind of need to get those walls down, she has to make him contend with what he's pushing away. I love the idea of the turn tables, where he was the one trying to make her realize, now it's her turn to do the same, especially because he was trying to make her realize. Like.... "Why didn't you deny it then?! Why are you still trying to push me away when you know how much that hurts?! Why won't you let me have a choice?!"

JUST YELLS

I just... yeah I feel like they gotta argue a little, she's got to plant a kiss - that I absolutely imagine him reciprocating because like you said, even the head on her shoulder thing was making him crumble. In my head I see it like her asking if he can really ignore this and kissing him, and as she starts to pull away he leans in, following her, pulling her back in and just.... mauling her. lakjfkafjkafjkafjk I feel like the moment she makes contact it's game over his brain is switching off and it's pure want and instinct and a touch-starved man falling apart at the seams, hands on face in hair pulling her impossibly closer, so hungry, so needy for something he's denied himself at every opportunity. Every time he thinks about her he keeps focusing on her mouth LMAO he wants SO BADLY and I need her to use that against him and force him to contend with what he's trying to deny. He insists that maybe this can pass but CAN IT? DO YOU REALLY BELIEVE THAT?!

And THEN they can talk, THEN she can reiterate what she's been telling him, what Rand has told her, what Yui has done what Yui has said. I WANT HIM TO UNDERSTAND THAT THIS TRANSCENDS HIM. I WANT HIM TO UNDERSTAND THAT HE IS NOT PROTECTING HER BY LEAVING HER BE, THAT HE IS, IN FACT, LEAVING HER MORE VULNERABLE. I WANT HIM TO UNDERSTAND THAT HE IS THE ONLY ONE WHO IS HURTING HER ;A;

There's something about the way that like.... he wants her so much and he's so scared of losing her that he can't have her, because of how much he cannot lose her. Like, no matter what HE LOSES HER ;A; And no matter what SHE IS GETTING HURT. SCREAMS

I'm just talking in circles because yeah we all know this we all know what we need LMAO we all know what it happening but AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH JUST FEELINGS FEELINGS FEELINGS ;_____________;

and quim is dangling it right in front of us so let's just hope she eventually gives us what we want, what the story needs, instead of yanking it away because then what were all these episodes even for? we'd be taking 10 steps back and for what? a gotcha moment?? sdghdgh GRHHH YELLS. 💥

This is really what it comes down to, though, yes, and I keep repeating this, too. From a narrative writing standpoint, doesn't it feel like we'd just be taking 10 steps back? If he was going to leave and all of this would be unresolved, we wouldn't be hashing into it now, he wouldn't have an extra 3 days, he wouldn't be stuck at the hospital, Shinae and Nana wouldn't be interacting like this, the talk with Dieter wouldn't be happening, he wouldn't have "convince me"'d her. If they weren't going to approach this, to talk about this, to hash out their feelings without some kind of resolution, he WOULD have left. He wouldn't have gotten injured, he never would have been there. We just... gotta go down a bumpy road to get there. Like you, I think it could be that she doesn't go til the last day, too. Or.... idk. I have played with the idea that maybe she'd wake up and go immediately to the hospital having to sneak in, but again, narratively, it feels like we have a LOT happening with Kousuke there right now.

Also I just can't shake the fact that 3 days brings us SO CLOSE to Christmas and it feels SO VERY POINTED, right?

We absolutely could have had Shinae realizing her feelings while Nol is gone, after "losing him" but.

I'M CAUTIOUSLY OPTIMISTIC. SHINAE IS SO DETERMINED and she's so FERAL about her feelings and she's SO INTENSE!!!!!!!! She WANTS HIM SO BAD and she is SO SCARED OF LOSING HIM I JUST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CONVINCE HIM. SHOW HIM WHAT A FOOL HE IS. REMIND HIM THAT TWO CAN PLAY THIS GAME, THAT HE DOESN'T GET TO MAKE ALL THE CHOICES THAT SHE, TOO, HAS FEELINGS INVESTED

RAKAFLJKAFKJAFKJAFKAJF GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRR RJRRGJ GRRRRR GGR FKAFJJF GRERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR ;A;

[mr-nauseam]

Practice 18

.

Sejanus sits on a lonely bench in the park. He is not surprised to be the only one out of his warm bed; no one in their right mind would want to be drawing while freezing blizzards steal their breath. His hand trembles, unable to hold his pencil steady, so the winter landscape he is trying to capture becomes disfigured.

He has to give up and holds his pad against his chest.

"What do you have there?"

The voice startles Sejanus. His gaze meets Tigris'. They greet each other, somewhat awkwardly. The abruptness of their last meeting still does rock in them. She takes a seat on the bench, and curiously asks him about his pad. Sejanus feels his cheeks turn red, too aware all of a sudden of the man of his imagination whom he has portrayed incessantly for days now.

"They're just doodles, Tigris. It's not important." He tries to clarify.

The young woman doesn't seem convinced by his answer but good manners motivate her not to press for revelations.

"It's okay. You don't have to explain it to me." She places her hand over Sejanus' in a gesture of silent understanding.

And no word is spoken again and no muscle moves until the winter storm sets their skins ablaze. Tigris retrieves her hand to seek warmth in the folds of the old coat she is wearing.

"I actually wanted to apologize to you."

Those are words Sejanus never thought he would hear from her lips. She was one of the few people who appreciates his existence.

Confusion overcomes him.

"Why?"

"For acting so strange the other day. And don't say I don't have to apologize, I know I made you uncomfortable."

Sejanus tries to fight the urge to beg her to forget his comfort.

Instead he says:

"Ah. I didn't think much of it... Just that you looked kind of tense.... I just figured it must have been something about your job that put you that way."

"It was not my job what occupied my mind that day, Sejanus."

  "By Panem, I don't know how to tell you this without you thinking I've lost my mind."

How sad Sejanus thinks, that fear of madness also haunts Tigris, who understands him better than anyone.

Perhaps that's why their connection came instantly.

"When you said how cruel and selfish Coriolanus was. I got really angry with you Sejanus. And all because of some meaningless nonsense."

The mention of the protagonist of the tragedy he has been reading about in class throws Sejanus off balance.

Tigris hugs herself and closes her eyes. Asking for comfort from the one who is no longer there: her mother.

To her belonged this coat. She opens her eyes, and faces it:

"I was not rational because to me Coriolanus is not the name of a dictator from an old tale. That name means something to the Snows. It was my cousin's name."

Snowflakes fall on them at the truth revealed. And Sejanus is overwhelmed.

"Professor Thompson gave me that assignment too, you know? and I was very excited at first. I thought it was a way to be close to my cousin but when I read it, I was horrified. Marcius was a horrible human being. I didn't understand why my aunt and uncle chose that name: My Coriolanus wasn't like that. He was good... Hearing your words brought back that unease, because I heard in them an echo of my own thoughts."

Sejanus knew Tigris had gone to the academy but he rarely thought of her in that red uniform walking the halls with her back erect as the last Snow heiress. Putting on an act, with the weight of a suffocating legacy on top of her. The image was jarring to the woman in front of him whose heart was gentle and her voice free, still he wished naively that he would have liked to have matched her during that hell.

"And I know it was unfair to feel that way about something so trival but I couldn't help it, Coriolanus is his name. It was the only thing that belonged to him besides his death."

Tigris was crying.

She tried to cover her face and Sejanus stopped her, whispered consolations and once her posture seemed more relaxed, he wiped away her tears with the sleeve of his sweatshirt, lamenting that he didn't have a handkerchief to give her.

Tigris' breathing calmed and she decided to continue with her somewhat husky voice:

"It happened in the dark days. I didn't find him in time and he froze in the snow... I didn't have him by my side for long but if you could have known him Sejanus. He was a very quiet boy but he was very sweet too and I'm sure if he could have been saved, he would have been a good man." 

Sejanus gives her a smile, small and contained.

He can give her no more. Suddenly frightened by his dreams and what he has seen in them. The coincidences were many and his madness makes him weigh the possibility of telling Tigris everything about it.

[otomefiend]

Hello! Thank you so much for your translations! I hope you're doing well.

Please, if you know by chance, can you explain me Alfons's behaviour in Elbert's route?XD The certains phrases made me to write you because I just really can't understand this person.

In chapter 24, there was a moment when Elbert was asking Alfons to give him a key from warehouse (where mc was). And Al was just like "If you hadn't come, I would have been a prince" and "she is mine". OMG Maybe he is Elbert's love rival or just provoking him?? But why? I really don't get him.

I don't speak Japanese and I'm using google/deepl translators))

Hello dear Anon!

Thank you for your kind words. 💙

Al is very cryptic on the best of days but let's have a little gander at that scene.

Spoilers below the cut (a short summary of that scene with a few thoughts of my own). Lots of words, so apologies in advance. 😅

~~~

Elbert is desperate to know what happened to Kate, to which Al answers in his own humorous way that he locked her in a dark warehouse where she's waiting for her prince to come and save her. El first questions the choice of venue but pretty quickly concludes that Al did it to protect her. Al, of course, is pretty miffed with the amount of trust those two baka kiddos have in him and obviously would never be caught red- handed saying such a thing. He's the type of guy who would never admit to being your bestie, even though he'd kill for you without thinking twice.

What does he do next then? He holds the key to the warehouse without handing it to El. He clarifies that he locked Kate up cause she was in the way (yeah yeah, this is the closest we'll get Al to admit he did it to keep her out of harms way) and he'd leave her behind if not for Jeffrey. Elbert tells Al he's a stinky liar and thanks him for protecting Kate. Then, he asks Al for the key, wanting to go straight to Kate. Al stays silent and withholds the key (measuring El's intentions? Going with his own whim, as he likes to say?). El seems puzzled to which Al says that one wrong move would have led to Kate's heart being taken by Jeffrey. Might be a little nod to the fairytale where the Queen asked for the Snow White's heart as the proof of her demise. Might be Al's humorous way of speaking since he likes to make light of serious things. Kate's heart is a motif that was brought up earlier during her deal with Elbert. It definitely speaks to El's curse. I thought this line was very apt. It's clearly a warning directed at Elbert. Al smiles and El answers that "he knows/ understands it".

Then Al brings up Elbert's nightmare and states that the latter clearly hasn't dealt with it yet. (Moments earlier he had a conversation with Kate where he revealed the purpose behind El's trip, that El himself was withholding from her. He also stated to El/thought to himself the day before that Kate is stronger than El gives her credit for and that he should come clean with her about his darker urges. I'm making an educated guess that he wants both El and Kate be on the same page when they're making decisions about their relationship).

Al then follows with the challenge "As you're hesitating, scared you'll hurt her yourself... are you okay with someone else snatching her heart?" and he clearly elicits a reaction from El with that statement. (I love how this scene depicts their complex but close relationship.) "If you hadn't come, I would be the prince", "Even now, if (as long as) I don't give you this key... she belongs to me." Again, he seems to appeal to Elbert's greed since he refers to snatching the heart and possessing it.

Al then steals Victor's schtick by saying that "It was all a joke" (which always makes everything seem more sus, lol), then gives El directions to the warehouse. When finally alone, he concludes "Just as I thought, you wanted to give up on your desires." "Don't you think this is enough push/encouragement?" Followed by a lonely sounding laugh. 🤧 (the woes of your bestie getting a gf)

So to answer your question, Al seems to be provoking El. Why? So El finally stops hesitating and comes clean about his hidden desires and his darker deeds. Al cares about him and wants to help in his own way. Even if it'll lead to something painful in the end. We will never know what exactly lies in Al's heart (in this route). He's very cynical about love yet seems to love El in his own way. He also seems to have a soft spot for Kate (love their scenes but I pretty much love anything Al related so it's a given), partly because of Elbert and maybe because she reminds him of El? Or maybe because of her outlook and determination? Who knows.

~~~