#i understand many saw the good stuff in it that i didn't

[violettierre]

I just watched oshinoko and im really confused about the concept

[tanadrin]

And God said, "Behold! I have created the fourth primordial force: the weak interaction!"

And the angels all clapped and nodded politely, and there was a long silence; and finally Verchiel, the Angel of Grace, spoke up and asked, "Er, what exactly does it do, O Fashioner?"

And God said, "What do you mean, 'what does it do?' It's the fourth fundamental force of the universe."

And Verchiel said, "You mentioned that. Um. But it's just that the other three sort of have a brand, you know? Gravity helps build large-scale structures, acts over vast cosmic distances, shapes time and space. The strong force is secret, hidden, binding together quarks and all that. Electromagnetism, very cool stuff, somewhere in between. We're all big fans of the whole magnetic monopole double bluff, very clever. But, er. What does this 'weak interaction' do?"

And God said, "It mediates radioactive decay. Sort of."

And Verchiel said, "Radioactive decay? All radioactive decay?"

And God said, "No. Just some kinds."

And Zephaniel, the Chief of the Ishim spoke, and he said, "A whole independent force just to mediate some kinds of radioactive decay?"

And God said, "Well. Not totally independent. Technically it's related to electromagnetism."

And Zephaniel said, "Wait, it's not even a real force?"

And God said, "It's totally a real force. It's just that it's one aspect of a combined electromagnetic and weak force. An electro-weak force, if you will."

And Metatron, the Celestial Scribe, scratched his head at this, but said nothing.

And Cambiel, the Angel of Transformation, said, "Maybe you can walk us through it from the top."

And God Sighed an immense Sigh, and said, "All right, fine.

"So the way it works is that all of space and time is permeated by a field that has imaginary mass."

And Cambiel said, "Imaginary mass, O Generous Provider?"

And God said, "Yes, imaginary mass. It's tachyonic, d'you see?"

And Sarathiel, the Angel of Discipline, said, "Wait a minute, I thought we agreed nothing was going to travel faster than light? All that 'c' business and the whole Lorentz transformation thing. What's happening with that?"

And God said, "Let me finish. The field is tachyonic. The particles in the field all move slower than light."

And Sarathiel had to think about this for a second.

And God said, "The point is, a field with imaginary mass has a non-zero vacuum expectation value."

And this really gave Sarathiel trouble, since he had never been very good at math.

And God, seeing this, went back to explain. "Most fields, like the electromagnetic field, have no effect when they are at their lowest energy state. It's like they're not there at all. If you give a field imaginary mass, then it vanishes only when it's at a very high energy state, and at a low energy state, it has a nonzero value everywhere."

And Sarathiel nodded, but he was confused, because he didn't understand why God would create such a thing.

But Verchiel thought he saw where God was going with this, and he was amazed.

"Truly, you are cunning beyond measure, O Only One Certainly Sound and Genuine in Truth! Only now do I understand your design! For in order to make the universe homogenous and isotropic, it is necessary that all large-scale fluctuations in temperature and mass must be evened out early in the history of the cosmos; and therefore, you have designed a field which will rapidly expand space after the Big Bang, many orders of magnitude in brief moments, and then swiftly and spontaneously decay as it gives up the energy it began with, giving rise to radiation and particles of all kinds as it does, which will condense into the material universe! It is a wonder to behold."

And God said, "What? No. I mean I did, but this isn't the inflaton field I'm talking about. This is something else."

And Verchiel said, "Wait, it's not?"

And God said, "No, I'm going to use a different field to drive cosmic inflation. The properties of this field are totally different."

And now Verchiel was also confused, and lapsed into silence.

And God said, "Like I was saying, this field is a scalar field with imaginary mass, and it does spontaneously decay to a ground state with a non-zero value. But it's not the inflaton field. Instead it combines with the W1, W2, W3, and B bosons."

And Metatron began to flip back through the pages of the Heavenly Record trying to figure out where he'd lost the thread.

And Zephaniel said, "The what bosons?"

And God said, "The W1, W2, W3, and B bosons. I'm sure I mentioned them. You know, the massless bosons?"

And Zephaniel said, "I'm pretty sure we only talked about the W+, W-, and Z0 bosons. All of which you said were going to have mass, O Owner of All Sovereignty."

And God said, "Yes, but this is how they get them, you see. Once this field acquires a nonzero value everywhere, the massless bosons interact with it and get mass. Well, some of them do. They turn into the W+, W-, and Z0 boson. And the photon."

And Zephaniel said, "…and the photon, O Accepter of Invocation?"

And God said, "Well, I did say I was going to unify the electromagnetic force and the weak interaction, didn't I? This is how. Above the critical temperature--right now I'm thinking 10^15 K, but I'm open to feedback on that one--electromagnetism and the weak force act as a single unifying force. Below that temperature, the field gets a nonzero value, you get three massive bosons to mediate the weak interaction, and the photon pops out seperately."

And Zephaniel said, "That seems… a bit overly complicated, doesn't it, O Reinstater Who Brings Back All?"

And God said, "No, it's exactly what we need. Look, that way the W and Z bosons have something to do, but the weak interaction still only travels short distances. Gravity is still the star of the show on cosmic scales, as it were. But now quarks and leptons can swap their flavor!"

And Zephaniel said, rather weakly, "Their… flavor, O Source of Good?"

And God said, "It's this new quantum number I'm trying out, to give the three generations of matter more unique identities."

And Cambiel said, "Three generations of matter? Now I'm really confused."

And God said, "I'm sure I mentioned this. You've got the lightest quarks and leptons, and then two heavier versions of each that can decay into the lighter versions."

And Cambiel said, "What do they do? New kinds of chemistry, is it?"

And God said, "Well, no. Mostly they just decay in a couple microseconds. Or even faster."

And Zephaniel began to rub his temples, and Cambiel sniffed.

And Cambiel said, "This all seems a bit ad hoc to me. Not really the stuff of an elegant and obviously ordered Creation. Why not have four generations of matter? Why not a trillion?"

And God began to grow irritable, and said, "Well, that's not really up to you, now is it? We're going to have three generations of matter, and the electroweak force, and that's that!"

And Zephaniel said, "As long as we are unifying fundamental forces, perhaps we could somehow also unify the electroweak interaction with the strong interaction, or even gravity."

And God hesitated saying, "Well, I haven't decided about that yet. I'm not sure I want gravity to be quantized, you know? Seems to take some of the geometric elegance out of general relativity."

And now it was Zephaniel's turn to sigh, and he bowed his head. "As you wish, O Possessor of Authority of Decisions and Judgement."

[cream-stew]

How about monsterfcking with Neuvillette? Him in his dragon form pounding and breeding reader's pussy until his cum leaks out and when Neuvillette saw his cum leaking out he tries to push it back in using his thick fingers but it just won't stay inside, a lot of his cum wasted so he fucked Reader full again with a new batch of cum and cockwarmed him after their down<3

(What if after they have sex, Neuvillette carries Reader to the bathroom to clean both of them and Neuvillette still inside of Reader but ended up fucking when Neuvillette and Reader are inside of the bathtub)

Sorry if my grammar is wrong! English is my third language hehe and I'm still learning

🔞minors dni

warnings: afab reader, breeding, creampie, multiple orgasms, squirting, tummy bulge, size kink, mosterfucking

// note: no worries anon I could understand perfectly <3 thank you for the request this was fun

he's bigger than you even in his more human form, but like this, arms and legs covered in light blue scales, thick horns crowning his head, he's just. huge. straight up huge. he has you in a mating press and your face can barely reach his pecs, your legs can't even hook on his shoulders, they're ramrod straight as he grips your ankles in his big hands.

his cock is a really tight fit too... your pussy is stretched to the limit as he pounds into you, leaving you gaping each time he pulls out before slamming back inside with full force. now you can really understand why he decided to fuck you on the floor this time, putting down soft blankets and pillows so that you'd still be comfortable, but simply refusing to do it on the bed: he would have destroyed it in minutes, his strength and stamina in his half dragon form is insane!

when he finally cums inside you, when you're well on your way to a fourth orgasm, you think maybe he'll calm down a little but nope... he just changes tactics, never pulling out completely again, bc he doesn't want his cum to leak out of you :(

he keeps fucking you with really shallow thrusts, just as fast as he did previously, praising and encouraging you to just hold on for "a little longer" bc he needs to cum again, to claim you fully and stuff your cute little pussy to the brim :(

your eyes are tearing up a lil by then, but it feels so good that you can't find it in you to complain... so you let him pump you full one, twice more, until you hear him grumble and mutter something under his breath, until his huge fingers replace his monstrous cock, trying to fuck the cum back inside you. "what a waste" he complains. in his lustful haze he doesn't understand that your pussy is way too small to hold on to all that cum, so the only solution he can find is to fuck you again...

except this time, after pounding into you so so roughly, making you squirt on his cock for who knows how many times, he doesn't pull out after cumming... he just makes you cockwarm him, thinking that there's no way it'll leak out if he keeps your pussy sealed off like that!

it's hours before he allows you to move, but he still doesn't let you go, carrying you to the bathroom with his rock hard cock still buried snugly against your cervix, an evident bulge in your tummy. he summons enough warm water to fill the tub before lowering the both of you inside, effectively making you straddle his hips as the new position allows his cock to reach even deeper inside your womb.

it'd be relaxing, the warm water soothing your sore muscles, if he didn't grab you by the hips to move you back and forth on his cock :/ he uses you like a fleshlight, bouncing you up and down and jerking off inside your pussy as you desperately clutch to his shoulders, moaning and babbling, and when he doesn't stop even after cumming one more time inside, you just accept that you're going to fall asleep in his arms, and he's probably going to keep fucking you through it until you wake up in the morning🥺🥺

[suiana]

(yandere! zombie x gn! survivor reader) (im such a youtube shorts kid bruh this idea came to me because of a video i watched)

did you know that zombies retain their habits from when they were humans?

well you sure as hell do now, because why is your annoying neighbour still following you around?? he's literally fucking rotting???

"shoo! go away!"

you hiss at him, shooting a rubber band at him before quickly climbing up a tree. phew, you wouldn't be bothered by him from here. it's been like this for a few days now, your undead neighbour following you around as you did your best to survive in this ruined world.

you never really liked him, your neighbour that is. he's always been that one weird guy that keeps annoying you ever since he moved in. constantly knocking on your door and asking to have meals together, to getting to and from work at the same times as you... you're so sure that he was stalking you. how could it ever be a coincidence that he just somehow knew when you were going out and coming back from work?

but now you wouldn't ever know and it's not like you wanted to know anyway. ignorance is bliss after all. oh! he's also very stubborn and it's quite apparent in his zombie form.

"bweh."

"go away!"

the zombie hits at the tree you were sitting down on as he looks up at you with what seemed to be puppydog eyes. you could only grimace at the sight before checking through your supplies. shit, you're running out of stuff.

"ugh... i'll need to scavenge for food-"

"guh!"

you raise an eyebrow at your undead admirer before humming. right, you suppose it isn't that bad that you have him around... he gives you stuff that's useful and scares away other mobs (you think he eats them if they get too close to you). you would've actually coddled him like a dog if he wasn't trying to get into your pants or kiss you every second.

"thanks."

you lean forward and snatch the bad of chips from his rotting hands before stuffing it into your bag. mn, you could probably have that for your lunch and dinner tomorrow.

"let's see... i need to find a good place to sleep tonight."

"bwa! buh beh!"

your zombie immediately starts scratching at the tree bark before jutting his lower lip. huh...

"no, i'm not sleeping in your apartment."

"gah!"

you think you're starting to understand zombie language because why are you holding full on conversations with him??

"don't give me that face. you know our apartment complex is riddled with zombies. i don't want to be turned."

"kh... gur! rh..."

"you think i'm trusting you? i swear i saw our old neighbour lurking around there and he was an olympic sprinter."

you shake your finger at the zombie before sighing softly. why did this apocalypse have to happen? things were going great for you before this. you just had a raise and you were so close to landing a date with your hot boss!

if you didn't know any better you'd have thought that your little zombie admirer was the one who kickstarted this zombie apocalypse because of his jealousy. what did he work as before he turned? a scientist?

"tn... jhn... ngh..."

"don't act all sassy with me right now. it's not like i want to sleep in your place to begin with. you'd probably lock me in there with you and i'd be trapped."

"bah!"

rolling your eyes at the sassy undead man, you rest against the trunk of the tree and shut your eyes. might as well get some rest before setting off again.

"i'm going to rest now. help me keep an eye out."

"kah kah. jah?"

"no, i won't kiss you. and no, i most certainly won't reward you with myself. you're rotting, damnit! how many times do i have to tell you that?"

"ui..."

what in the sassy zombie apocalypse have you gotten yourself into?

[onlymimiwastaken]

Warrior Penelope stuff cause I've been listening to too many EPIC genderbent covers, and I wanted to give my take on it (also cuz I kinda want to draw it one day)

- Ares as Penelope's patron, absolutely! But Ares didn't have a huge cult in Sparta, although he wasn't hated. So my lore take version thing is that ATHENA wanted to be Penelope's patron (she had already an eye on Ody kinda) but Ares saw his chance, got to it first and became attached to Penelope without wanting to admit it, also because she saw the good and useful in him. Athena still watches over Penelope (especially after her and Ares platonically break up, which she finds really stupid) and is the one who does her best to protect Ithaca while she's gone. She's by Ody's side while he misses his wife and is mostly the reason why the Suitors hadn't taken over yet.

- To get Ares to realize his mistake, Athena tricks him into helping Telemachus defeat Antinous in Little Wolf because free bloodshed, only to end up sensitized by Telemachus because holy shit, my friend's son is here almost dying to this ASSHOLE who thinks he's so much stronger than MY friend the queen and even me like who tf does he think he is. Athena makes Ares fucking rational for once. And maybe even Aphrodite, as well, gets some damn sense in his mind like "they love each other like you and I and my girl is doing her best to get home you're going to apologize rn"

- ctimene holds a claymore double her height with no problems

- penelope is more "cold ruthless" than Odysseus, in a way that she's still poised (until the end or when she's really brought to her knees which is disturbing) while doing merciless stuff. She's emotionless a lot more (just on the surface)

- Ares was the one to give Penelope the idea of going to war instead of Odysseus, for obvious reasons. And Pen is really a mastermind among the Greeks ofc

- Ares and Pen fought in their My Goodbye version because she "held back her power while her friends got devoured" "she didn't even fight Polyphemus, didn't even TRY to kill him" "hid behind her wits to get things done". Because when fighting Polyphemus, she knew that if she tried to kill Polyphemus while he was asleep, they'd be stuck in that cave forever (like in the real Odyssey). And knew that fighting while her friends got killed would slow them down and probably get more people dead. And when they ran away, she didn't go back to kill the Cyclops even if she could've because of yes, mercy, but also because she would've awakened all the other Cyclops and sailing away was faster, better. Ares deemed this cowardice. Crazy thing, since one of the most important things to him is courage.

- Ares overstimates Penelope's power. Like, yes, she's exceptional, but still HUMAN. With her limits. He hasn't dealt with a human personally in years so he doesn't understand this, so his expectations are ridiculously high, which ends up breaking Penelope.

- During 600 strike, Penelope can actually breathe underwater and not hold her breath for such a long time and be fine because she's half naiad (yes, they are fresh water nymphs but still). Also this may make her even stronger around water (to a certain degree, she's still very mortal)

- calypso is pansexual

this is already a lot, ill add more when i think about it lol (also if i realize any of these ideas don't make sense)

[anaargent]

I heard u take requests I am here to make one ✨ Can u make one where reader find the diner of Five's and they all haven't seen her in forever so there just all around her and doing all this stuff. There practically fighting each other and Brisket Five wins! Ty!!❤️

I just loved this idea, I hope you like it.

RU MINE?

BRISKET FIVE x READER

You didn't know how you ended up here. One moment you were inside the mysterious subway, watching the stations pass by through the window with vacant and lost eyes. Now you were in a restaurant surrounded by countless Fives.

You lost count of how many disgusting pick-up lines you received from some drunk Fives - honey, you're not the end of the world, but you're on my mind all the time - Or the subtle flirtations of the grumpy Five - maybe you want to have a coffee? With me? At the same table? Like, a date? - It was cute, like an old man trying to woo someone in a Jane Austen book. A few cheesy pick-up lines from a Five waiter, who was very insistent - you know, I could be a much better escort than this loser, when you want a real man, just call me dove - he says, leaning dangerously close to you with the tray in his hand, leaving after someone insistently rang the doorbell to call him, an anonymous savior.

There was even a serenade from a Five who was too drunk for his own good - Shouldn't he be taken away from there? - you point to the man staggering on stage - no, he's fine, it's his Meryl Streep moment - someone spoke seconds before the singer Five threw up.

You were flattered by so many looks in your direction, you really were, but it didn't feel right. You always had something with your Five, you knew he felt something too, it was a lifelong companionship. But maybe you underestimated the time you spent together, always postponing, "maybe next week we can have coffee?" "Maybe we should take a week off and go out together?"

- maybe a drink for a pretty lady? - you were awakened from your thoughts by the sweet voice of another Five, ready to gently dismiss him when you saw him place a cup of hot coffee in front of you - I-

- you don't like black coffee? I brought you an espresso with plenty of sugar - he smiles, turning to pour a few more clones of himself. You smile, the brisket five, you should have seen it coming. He was the only one who didn't try his luck and court you, but here he was, and he had nailed your favorite drink. One point for him

- so what? Some pick-up line or are you the mysterious type? - you scoff as you sip your espresso, your feet dangling as you stare at him. - lucky you, none - he smiles, finally finishing his task and leaning against the counter in front of you - you deserve a break after so many love attacks.

You sigh in defeat, letting your confident facade fall - I don't understand, what is everyone looking for? - you ask, looking around. So many Five's looking defeated, some already unconscious, from alcohol or fatigue. - isn't it obvious? - the brisket five leans closer - the Apocalypse? - you ask confused.

- you - he says simply as he smiles, a beautiful smile.

- me? - you laugh in disbelief - don't laugh at them, they're poor souls in search of the only company they've ever had.

You swallow hard, observing the environment once again, so many Five, only one of you - what happened?..with my clones?

- it depends - Five asks, sitting down next to you - some leave, some dismiss you when they realize the problem they were going to get themselves into, some paths diverge, some die.

The atmosphere gets heavy for a moment, you clear your throat and try to break the ice - and you? Five..?

- oh, please, call me whatever you want - he smiles flirtatiously - let's just say you dumped me - oh, I'm sorry, I hope I…she, she wasn't too rude.

- she was - he stares at you for a moment, a flash of longing in his eyes - but I deserved it - he spoke in a melancholic tone, as he pulled a coat over the counter, throwing it over your shoulders. You looked at him questioningly - you were shaking, I didn't want you to get cold - he justified himself with a shrug. You looked away, feeling your cheeks heat up a little at his detailed care, an uncomfortable feeling taking over your chest.

- Do you want to get some coffee? - Five asks after gathering the necessary courage within himself. You let out a laugh, the first real one of the night - We're literally in a coffee shop, and you work here - Except for you, I don't like anyone in this room. And the service is terrible - he whispers smilin like it was a dirty secret and extends his hand to you.

- Where would we go? - You ask as you look expectantly at Five in front of you

- I know some great places in Paris, I'd love to show you around - he says with that sideways smile. You don't answer, you simply stand up and grab his hand, pulling him into a soft kiss, the shocked reaction of the man in front of you amused you, his eyes slightly wide, his mouth half open, trying to process the bold movement

- Excuse me? - He says with a shaky voice.

- I don't - you smile - take me to drink this damn coffee, then we'll see what happens.

*meanwhile at the diner*

A sad grumpy Five takes his last sip of drink, the liquid burning his throat as he throws the glass away, his eyes clouded in anguish as he watches you once again walk away, out of his reach. Again.

[b0r3dtod3ath]

Hi, just read one of your fics and I loved it. So I wanted to make a request. You can choose the driver you think fits best. But just a fic about the read being an introvert, she’s not shy. For example she doesn’t go to the after parties with her bf, or attend all the events. She loves hanging out with people but her social battery always runs out. Idk if that makes sens

Thank you, and hope you have a good December:))

♡ navigation / request info / f1 masterlist / tennis masterlist

♡ warnings: mention of alcohol

♡ a/n: im so happy for mclaren!!!!! thanks for the request! im on a writing streak so requests are heavily appreciated :)

The music pulsed from the next room, the bassline a steady thrum that vibrated through the walls of the hotel suite. Lando had kissed your cheek before disappearing into the lively afterparty, promising he’d check on you soon. You had encouraged him to go, of course. He thrived in these settings - at parties, surrounded by friends, laughter, and celebration. 

But you had a limit. 

It wasn’t that you didn’t like parties - you would usually dance a bit, laugh and even talk with some people. But after an hour, each passing minute feels like torture. The club filled with fun turns into a small room with drunk people, everything gets too loud and suffocating. And Lando understood that, he appreciated that sometimes you would come out of your shell just to celebrate his win. He always quickly noticed when it started getting too much, almost like a sixth sense. He would end his party earlier just for the sake of your comfort. 

You loved that but you didn't want to limit him like that. That’s why you two agreed that it's okay if Lando goes alone. You trust him and he understands that you wouldn’t be bored alone. Now, you sat curled up on the plush couch in your suite, a book propped open on your lap. Your phone buzzed softly against the cushion beside you. Picking it up, you saw his name flash on the screen.

Lando: "You okay? Need anything?"

You: “No, I’m good :)”

Lando: “readin?”

You: “Of course” 

You: “Why are you texting me btw? Shouldn’t you be partying?”

Lando: "Because I want to. Also, Max just spilled his drink trying to argue with George. You’re missing a show."

You laughed softly,

You: "Sounds like prime entertainment. Take notes for me?"

Lando: "Actually, I’m recording it."

You react with a laughing emoji and get back to your book. 

Meanwhile, Lando stood by the bar, a glass of a colorful drink in his hand. The party was in full swing and he couldn’t help but let the energy of the room lift his already good mood.

Max sidled up beside him, nursing a beer “Where’s your other half?” he asked, scanning the room. Lando chuckled, “They are upstairs. Thought about coming but decided to sit this one out”. “Ah, the infamous social battery,” Max replied with a knowing nod. “They are great, though. I don’t know them well but it seems like they always put in the effort for the important stuff”. “Exactly,” Lando said with a smile. “They came to the track, cheered me on, and hung out after the podium. That’s more than enough for me”. 

Across the room, Carlos caught sight of the two and made his way over, drink in hand. “Hey, where’s your partner? Thought I saw them earlier,” he said, a slight slur betraying how many drinks he’d already had. “You did,” Lando said. “They came by for a bit but left before the party started. You know how it is - they love everyone here, but only for so long”. Carlos nodded. “They are smart. These things can get overwhelming”. “They are not shy, though,” Lando clarified, knowing how easily people misunderstood her. “They are great with people, but they know when they have had enough. I think it’s awesome”.

Daniel, overhearing the conversation, joined in with a laugh. “It’s true. I remember at that one dinner, they had us all cracking up, and then two hours later, they were like, ‘Okay, I’m done. Goodnight.’ No hesitation”. Lando grinned, proud of them in a way he couldn’t quite explain. The group laughed, and Max clapped him on the shoulder. “Well, give them our best. And let them know they are welcome anytime - even if it’s just for an hour”. “Will do,” Lando said, a warm feeling settling in his chest. It was always nice to see how much they liked you, even if they didn’t see you often.

“Lando?” you called, surprised. “Expecting someone else?” he teased, stepping into the room with a grin. His hair was slightly damp with sweat, and his shirt was rumpled in that charming, carefree way he always managed. “I thought you’d stay longer.” you say setting down your book. “I could tell you were getting bored without me,” he said with a wink, crossing the room to sit beside you. “You know I’m fine on my own,” you said softly, though the warmth of his presence already made the quiet room feel cozier. “I know,” he replied, leaning over you. “But I missed you. Plus, Max started singing, and that’s when I knew it was time to leave". You laughed, hugging him. “You didn’t have to come back early, you know". He pressed a kiss to the top of your herd “I know, but I wanted to”. “Lando, go shower, you’re sticky!” you chuckle feeling the sweat and champagne on his skin.

Abu Dhabi, 2024. Last race of the season.

The celebration was in full swing, with champagne flowing and music blaring. You found yourself enjoying the party, maybe due to McLaren’s victory. You danced with Lando, laughed with his coworkers and even joined in a few toasts.

You were standing next to the bar, chatting animatedly with Lily and Carmen. You were laughing at something one of them said, your face lit up in a way that always managed to take Lando’s breath away. You weren’t one for late nights or crowded rooms, but tonight, you seemed to be having fun, and he couldn’t help but feel a little proud - and grateful - you’d come.

“Look who’s finally dragged them out,” Max teased, nudging Lando as they both watched you from across the room. Lando grinned, taking a sip of his drink. “They are here on her own terms. Didn’t take any dragging”. Max raised his eyebrows in mock disbelief. “Sure, mate. But seriously, it’s good to see them”. As if on cue, you turned your head, catching Lando’s eye. You gave him a small smile before returning to your conversation.

Lando waved you over, and without hesitation, you excused yourself from your conversation and made your way to him. “Everything okay?” you asked as you stopped in front of him, your voice light. “Yeah,” Lando said, his hand instinctively finding its way to your waist. “Just admiring how good you are at stealing the spotlight”. You laughed. “Hardly. I’m just trying to keep up with your crowd”, “You’re doing more than keeping up,” Max interjected, leaning around Lando. “You’re running the show”. You grinned at the compliment, then turned back to Lando. “You didn’t tell me Max got funnier after a few drinks”. “I didn’t know he did,” Lando shot back, earning an exaggerated gasp from Max.

The party continued, and after a few more drinks, you started to feel a pleasant buzz. You found yourself becoming more clingy with Lando, your arm around his waist and your head resting on his shoulder as you chatted with the others. Lando noticed the shift and smiled gently. “You’re getting a bit tipsy, love,” he whispered in your ear. “Maybe it’s time to head out?”. You nodded, your eyes a little hazy but happy. “Yeah, let’s go”. 

Arm in arm, you made your way back to the hotel room, both of you (not so) slightly more tipsy than when the night began. Once inside, you sat on the bed, big smile on your face as Lando joined you. “This was such a great night,” you said, your words slightly slurred but filled with genuine happiness. “It really was,” he agreed, wrapping his arms around you. “And now, we shower and we can just relax”. You snuggled closer, feeling the comfort of his embrace. “I love you, Lando". “I love you too,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “Now, let’s get some sleep. We can celebrate till March”. 

december 9, 2024

[neroushalvaus]

Okay I am going to use the Somerton situation to talk about something that is very important to me. Following the discussion I have seen former Somerton fans being disappointed in themselves and questioning how they can ever trust another video essayist again. I have also seen some people being smug because to them Somerton was obviously unreliable from the start. As a person who also saw the "red flags" in Somerton, I would like to skip the smugness and talk a bit about what the red flags were to me.

Someone else has probably posted something similar and Hbomberguy's & Todd in the Shadows's videos touched a few of these points, but they didn't focus on them or how to spot these things. I think it is a good thing: I think it would have reinforced the idea that Somerton's fans were to blame for being lied to, and these youtubers didn't want to pin any blame on the fans. Also, some of the things I'm going to talk about were not by any means proof of him being unreliable, they were common tropes I personally associate with people who are bullshitting on internet. Think of it as something like spotting terfs: If you consider following a tumblr user and find out they have at some point posted "males will always be a danger to females no matter what they say", it is very possible that they are not a terf. Maybe they were having a bad day and were just wording their post badly – But you should probably search "trans" from their blog before following them, just to be sure.

So, the tropes in James Somerton's content that I consider red flags:

Lack of sources. This one may seem obvious and Hbomb talked about this in his video, but the lack of sources in his videos was outrageous. Video essays are called essays for a reason, they are not supposed to be just a guy talking about whatever comes to his mind, they should be well researched essays. Obviously video essays should contain one's own thoughts and interpretations and those do not need citations. But James Somerton didn't come out of the womb knowing everything about LGBT history, Disney and film theory, if he actually knew something about all this stuff, he should have learnt it from somewhere. There should be sources he could point to. It is very common that even when a video essayist doesn't tell you where they got all their information, they open their video by saying stuff like "when I prepared for this video I read the book Also sprach Zarathustra by Friedrich Nietzsche and this one thrilling blog post about lesbian cruising in 1960s Sweden". From what I've seen, James does not really do this. From watching his videos you could arrive to the conclusion that James Somerton does not read any books, he just knows everything. There are situations where people don't feel the need to add sources, like when the information is considered common knowledge or when the topic relates heavily to the essayist's actual academic field or profession. This is okay and very understandable, but can sometimes be dangerous, since if the video essayist markets himself as a marketing specialist, people are more likely to take his word for stuff that has to do with marketing, even without sources. It is understandable that in many situations an essayist may think "why should I cite a source? I know this thing!", but doing your research well is partly about checking if the information you are certain of is actually true. Also, as Hbomb pointed out, if you can cite a source, your audience can go learn more about the subject. It's not about anyone doubting you know your stuff, it's about learning. That's why well-respected video essayists usually cite their sources very clearly.

Lack of pictures and screenshots. This is about different kinds of sources again, many things on this list are kind of about sources. An example: When James Somerton made a video about JKR, he mentioned something about Rowling at one time saying that trans students in 30-50Feralhogs (or whatever the wizard school is called) could use magic to present as their gender. If this was any other video essayist, you'd expect a tweet to pop up, or something else confirming Rowling ever said this. Nothing pops up, obviously because Rowling didn't say this, but you can't see anything fishy in that because things rarely pop up in Somerton's videos. He doesn't show you court documents when speaking about a court case, he doesn't show you the comments apparently mad at him for implying the gay anime is gay when he is complaining about people being mad at him. There is a reason people show screenshots and tweets in video essays. When a good video essayist says JK Rowling has tweeted that all people who menstruate should be referred to as women, the video essayist shows the tweet so people know they are not making it up. If there were hoards of annoying bitc-- I mean, angry white women whining about gay sex in HuffPost articles or Somerton's youtube comments, he should have no trouble showing you those. Remember that you should not trust someone just because they show you pictures or screenshots. Pictures can be photoshopped, screenshots can be doctored. Many youtubers are aware that you listen to their videos while cleaning or while walking your dog and don't actually see the screen all the time, and some may take advantage of that by saying something like "and here she threatened to kill me" while showing a text message where someone said "die mad about it". A screenshot alone isn't much but you should demand to see the screenshot.

Passive voice. I am once again bitching about this. Somerton repeatedly says things like "it's been said that" or "it was common knowledge that" or "a legend says that" or "according to most interpretations". He doesn't say who says it, making it very hard to fact check and that seems to be his goal in some cases.

Relying heavily on anecdotes. Writing a dense, analytical video about film theory or history can be exhausting and you may want to pepper in little fun facts. However Somerton seemed to rely on these heavily; he can't just talk about how he has totally bought every lie told by The Pink Swastika, he also needs to tell a cute little anecdote about SS men forcing sexual favours out of men. He can't just tell a story about a court case, he needs to add in ridiculous stuff about the jury booing. This is what I mean by not all the things on this list being necessarily proof of someone being unreliable. Many people use anecdotes and little stories in their storytelling, it makes the videos flow better and it's hard to decide which anecdotes are valid and which are not. A source obviously makes an anecdote a bit more believable, but here are some things that instantly make me fact check an anecdote:

It's a bit too convenient, poetic or ironic. Sometimes real life is weirder than fiction but if an anecdote is "perfect" and has an amazing punchline and you could write twelve poems about it, there is a possibility it was invented by pop science books.

It assumes your political enemies are stupid. Dunking on conservatives, MRAs and transphobes is always fun and after you've seen a lot of this kind of content it's easy to believe anything about these people. You must resist the impulse to believe everything that may make your opponents look stupid.

The person telling the anecdote implies it is an example of a larger, systemic problem. You know what's worse than taking a random happenstance from human history or internet and basing an entire political theory on it? The said random happenstance being made up. You should in general be wary of people telling one story and explaining why it's an example of everything that's wrong in the world. We live in a huge world. You can always find a white woman who loves cute gays but hates the idea of Nick Heartstopper and Charlie Heartstopper getting nasty but that doesn't mean it's an indicator of a larger issue.

Simplifying complex issues. We all know that "only the boring gays survived the AIDS crisis, and that's why gays started to only care about marriage equality and military" is a horrible, insensitive thing to say, but you also have to think about it for like two seconds to realize that it can't be correct. It kind of reminds me of the "roe v wade caused the crime drop of 1990s" claim in Freakonomics. It sounds logical and simple, like a basic math calculation. Societal issues rarely are like that, though. You should never believe anyone who tells you about a huge societal shift and says it happened because of one thing and one thing only.

These were some of the things I noticed in Somerton's content that caused me to distrust him. I hope these were helpful to you and feel free to add your own "red flags" if you feel like it!

[hellsslibrary]

IMMA BE HONEST (and if possible, could this be a request?),, the first time i saw Vil when he kept checking his makeup and talking to Cater in the beginning of the game I just KNEW I had to have him whining with mascara colored tears running down his cheeks and his body being flushed red all over while making him face a mirror and telling him how pretty (or even how much of a slut)he’s looking like…

"In the garden of my heart, your love is the most beautiful and enduring flower, blooming every day."

#a.n. : SAME! And... Yay, I've got my earliest requests underway... Maybe I'll post a couple more today, I guess. This was a pleasure to write, by the way. I love this stuff.

MASTERLIST is here.

!!Warnings: top!dom!male!reader, sub!bottom!Vil, mirror sex, praise kink (borders on worship), just romantic and fairly vanilla sex, but for those who like more intense sex I added some light dacryphilia, use of the word "slut", and spanking (literally once), make-up traces, light marking.

"You're so perfect, see? Every curve, literally every part of your skin is so emphasized... I never thought that even now, when I can barely see you, I would still see you so well," escapes your lips, causing Vil's fingers to clench on the smooth surface of the mirror, making a not very pleasant sound, but what does it matter?

How did you even end up here? You were just looking at Vil combing his hair before going to bed. This beautiful strawberry blonde hair with a slight lilac tint... You could admire it forever. And him even more so.

You yourself did not understand at what moment your arms wrapped around his waist, whispering random tenderness in his ear, making him smile faintly. And the next second, he moaned quietly and looked at you over his shoulder with a stern look when your palm was clearly too close to his ass. "What are you doing, hm? We were both sleepy a few minutes ago, if I remember correctly."

And yeah, he's right. You thought you'd pass out the moment you had this physical manifestation of Aphrodite in your arms, but now that he's actually in your arms... How can you resist being a little selfish and taking away his beauty sleep, right?

And here we go again...

"Why do we even need candles? We could do this without any light at all..." You hum in displeasure at that, spreading Vil's cheeks slightly and watching your cock disappear inside him. It was barely visible, but you could visualize it with ease from how many times you've seen it.

"Without light? No. I need to see every part of you... Just look at yourself," your fingers pull his head down from your shoulder, forcing him to look at his reflection.

It was a coincidence that he hadn't had time to wash off his makeup today, and that only played into your hands. It was a huge rarity, those moments when he let you fuck him while his face was still covered in makeup... He didn't like to look sloppy, but who else says he looks sloppy?

His neck is framed with light, rare hickeys that he allowed you. And even a small bite on the back of his head! Usually he only lets you mark his thighs, since no one else except the two of you can see that part. But today he was either generous or tired.

Purple eyes closed convulsively when your cock entered at an angle that was too pleasant. A quiet cry escapes his lips when you give him a light slap on his thigh, and he opens his eyes again, forcing himself to look at his reflection.

A couple of candles lit in the room were indeed on your side. They hid you behind Vil's back, but they showed him completely. He whimpers from his own reflection, a thought flashing through his head about understanding what you can see in him even in this form. "Look at yourself, okay? If you can keep your eyes on me until you cum, then... I'll give you a massage afterwards, okay?" he nods immediately, not even thinking about what you said, just hearing that something good is waiting for him.

His body twitches every time your shaft penetrates as deep as this position allows. It was surprisingly good, even too good. The blond can't remember when your intimacy brought him to this state. It was overwhelmingly good. His brain was boiling, literally turning into mush. Deprived of the last thoughts that flew away like water lilies on the surface of water bodies.

"Bend over for me, please? It will be a little more comfortable, my queen," tenderly escapes from your lips, he instinctively arches, although Vil clearly does not even realize what you are asking for.

His hand slides down, his slender fingers digging into your thigh, his forehead resting on his hand, still on the mirror. Sobs escape his lips as his eyes glaze over. The only thing he knows is that he's crying from pleasure. Pleasure that's too overwhelming.

"Is it okay, Vil? Should I slow down?"

Your question makes him break the vacuum of the pleasure haze he's trapped in, just a little. He shakes his head slightly, mumbling something unintelligible, though knowing that you won't be satisfied, he mumbles,

"Okay... I'm o-okay. It just, agh, feels s-so good."

"Wonderful. I'm glad you like it so much... After all, your beauty is meant to be admired in any state," your loving whisper makes him chuckle, mixed with a whine, as one of your hands reaches just past his hip and wraps around his engorged cock. "So beautiful and graceful, like the paintings of the best masters... Such an incredibly beautiful voice that you want to hear nothing but it. Such a beautiful figure that you want to memorize every curve and every part, to know where it pleases you the most."

His cock involuntarily twitches a couple of times while you whisper your praises breathlessly. He feels such a painful, yet so desirable knot in his stomach, you both feel that he is almost at the limit.

"So what? Are you ready to cum for me, pretty boy? To cum on my cock, like the good slut you are?"

The world seems to stop as soon as it leaves your lips. You call him that without realizing it... He's never heard you say such vulgar things to him before and it's... Surprisingly pleasant, especially mixed with your praise bordering on worship.

His cock twitches in your hand and he cums with a too loud, surprisingly high-pitched moan; his head falls back on your shoulder and his eyes squeeze convulsively, a couple of transparent but black tears fall on your shoulder and white liquid paints the mirror in front of you.

You gently push his head back forward, kissing the back of his head while he lets you make a few more thrusts before you cum inside... Normally he would object, but you're going to shower now anyway, and you'll have to wash him too, so he won't say a word now.

"You... It w-was something. You never... Oh, never ca-called me that," he mumbles barely audibly, sobbing from the remains of tears and only now you realize what you called him and your brain instantly sobers up.

"I didn't m-mean it, I didn't mean it... I'm sorry, I said it unconsciously, I was just too deep in—," he puts a slightly trembling finger on your lips, smiling lightly and moving between your legs.

"I didn't say that I didn't like it, it was just surprising to hear it from you like that," Vil chuckles, turning to you completely and kissing your cheek, and then hugs you around the neck and sighs contentedly when your hands took him under his hips, slowly standing up on legs slightly trembling from a recent orgasm. Oh... Right now you want nothing more than to fall asleep, but the handsome man in your arms will kill you if you don't wash him... Not that you mind that outcome either, hehe.

[pushingdaisies1]

Kinda hate you, kinda love you . . . ♡

(✧ ˚.) PAIRING-> James "Logan" Howlett {A.K.A} Wolverine x Reader >_< (✧ ˚.) SUMMARY -> Being an X-men was a lot for you to sign up for. Well.. you didn't have a chance to deny this safe haven. The school became your home and the people that made up the X-men like a weird little familial unit. You had many reasons for staying as long as you did, but one was more prickly and jaded. The feelings you harbored for a stern and calloused Logan were.. weird for you to feel firsthand. One day, you are stuck overlooking a danger room drill between Gambit and Logan. With the new member of your world-saving team Jubilee by your side, it's too dull to NOT talk with each other. She was a good kid, hyperactive and spirited that's for sure. You talk, and talk a lot you do to the human embodiment of the fourth of July. It makes you think a little bit too hard about yours and Logans... predicament. (✧ ˚.) AUTHORS NOTE -> Hiii!!! This is my first time writing stuff for Logan so - bee tee dubs it may be complete and utter horse shit. I'd like to thank @velvrei for helping me ignite some well-dead thoughts. Genuinely love ur work sm and reading that and a lot more new/old logan content helped TONS. This is linked to the {♡x-men animated series/x-men97♡} series. I do wanna write more for the Deadpool timeline xmen/early 2000s timeline xmen!! But after seeing the masterpiece that is Deadpool and Wolverine, I lowkey just clung to those shows. I love animated Logan!! He is even more emotionally stunted/sassy sad!! (✧ ˚.) CWS (?) -> Logan nd u are sad ppl who don't know how to voice ur feelings!! , pining from afar/one-sided not so one-sided yearning, UHM HURT/KINDA COMFORT??? MAYBE??? I THINK??? , unprompted suggestiveness from logan , mentions of struggling to connect with other ppl/fears of the future (bay bay jubilee my love) , u and Jubilee just kinda bond, off topic idk cajun dialect so..... , and u infodump as a weird suto older sister/mom in her life, this was all very spur of the moment so uhm - not proofread!!! kinda!!!!!!!

The dangeroom was a room a lot of the X-men team spent their time in. To either train for a new threat or for general movement, drills were a common theme. Especially after world-shaking events, which were always somehow a constant, the professor was the equivalent of an alarm clock. Drills this, always having to run down into the war room. You didn't mind the training sessions if it was one-on-one or even with the whole team. Sometimes though, it was almost nagging. 

Though there were little things you'd do to pass this time. If you were made to overlook it or otherwise. Most of the time there didn't need to be supervision within the training center itself. Everyone was on high alert, and off days were few and far between. Logan had been hashing it out with Gambit all morning and wanted to do a specific procedure setting. You held your head in your hands as you sighed at the grown men's demands. Gambit was a professional sweet talker, Logan wasn't when needed. Of course, you complied, understanding the sudden want for more extensive training. When Jubilee volunteered you started to not loathe the idea of sitting in on Logan and Gambit - literally butting heads. 

Jubilee was a nice kid, you felt bad for her sudden entrance into life within the school. The professor was welcoming as always. With your push and her foster parents wanting her to be safe from threats like the sentinels, she was a bonified member.

Being the "newbie" always had its drawbacks. From day one you made sure to have her back, you could relate to her whole fish-out-of-water point of view. Logan saw the way you attached fast to the kid. He was like a vault of thoughts and feelings. Thoughts and feelings he never wanted to bring up or even let alone talk about. But it made your heart flutter just a tad when he sat his hand on your shoulder, gently rubbing a thumb against it.

He had stopped you before you were about to retire to your room. In the doorway to your personal, pillow escape he made sure to reel you down to earth. "Give the kid some breathing room. I know you want to help but there's no use for you smothering her."

You were almost baffled. What was he going on about? You were just looking out for her? Deep down, you did know what he meant. He might have not been a long-term X-Men member. But he did know you and the fragments of "memories" you held so dearly close to your chest. You two were so different and yet one in the same. Before you could even argue, he gave you a small .. somewhat comforting pat on said shoulder. "Just a friendly word of advice bub, don't take it so close to heart. Oh wait, that's inevitable." He joked at you with his signature toothy grin. You couldn't help but scoff in surprise and laughter as he jabbed at you with his SINGULAR witty remark.

Logan could be many things. Rough around the edges, even a total asshole when he felt like it. But to you, he was your kryptonite. It was pathetic the way you'd always eventually be pulled to bend at that man's every word. He just did that to you, and you had no answer to it. 

Making your way up to the upper room with Jubilee, you watched with tired eyes as the door to the observation room slid open. Cold - walls and floor head to toe with this sleek metal texture. There were two chairs, right behind the control panel where the training sequence(s) would be initiated. Your eyes were trained on the window as you watched Gambit and Logan make their entrance inside the training room itself. Gambit of course was rapidly shuffling a deck of cards. They were almost flying in the palms of his hands as he prepared them. Logan was of course blabbing his big mouth, in his signature suit "lumbering up" as he would call it. Finally, as you just now sat your bottom into the smooth-cushioned observation chairs, Jubilee was already starting the conversation. Thank god for you as you were still shaking the morning off of you."So what? , we just watch them throw around with each other, or what?" She cracked with a curious glance at the two men down below. You rested your chin in the palm of your hand as you leaned back. "Pretty much, we're here just in case the system doesn't shut down in time. Sometimes it does that."

She paused before she gave you a pointed look, her chunky pink sunglasses almost falling off of her black head of hair. "We're babysitting them!?" She retorted with a sort of faux annoyance. "I mean it's 'something' to do but - come on...." She groaned as she crossed her arms, heavy in on the air quotations. Cutting in, you directed your hand to the control panel. "No no no, not just that.”

Gathering your thoughts, you pointed out each scenario on the deck. You couldn't help but crack a smile at Jubilee's small "ohs" and "ah's". With the development, you two were brought into a nice steady stream of conversation. Hunched in her seat, yellow boots crinkling in this position, she poked and prodded you about your style and so on. it was nice to be looked at with such idealization. Her eyes were huge with wonder as she jumped to questions and searched for answers. Though it was only so nice until the two of you were interrupted by the impact of a card deck. As it smacked against the window, you pinched the bridge of your nose.

Hitting the intercom, you cleared your throat. "So sorry gentlemen! You two ready or what?" You retorted as you leaned over the panel. Gambit gathered back the cards into his hands. "Me? , 'course cher! Any day I would love to stick it to da fuzz ball over der." He remarked with a scheming smirk. Logan growled as his claws immediately sprouted from his knuckles. "I'll show you fuzz ball you pest." His lip curled up almost like a predator ready to pounce.

Jubilee sat back quiet as a mouse as she watched you talk through to the two. "Alrighty alright! Save the pouncing for later." You barked with a small chuckle at the end. You couldn't help but feel buzzy at the way Logan reared his head up. Gambit was too busy swapping cards from hand to hand. But all of Logan's attention was just on you, it was always just on you.

 "Okay, how are we feeling about the ruined city for today?" You asked the two as Gambit started to twirl a card in between his middle and pointer fingers. "Yes yes yes, dat will do just nicely, right Wolvie?" He asserted - training a hard on the hard-headed "foe." Logan's voice was low and gruff as he found his stance. "Don't get so ahead of yourself Gamby." He retorted as he turned back to you in the window. "Start it up doll, before this one here loses all of his spice." He barked with a laugh as Logan jostled his mask on. You rolled your eyes with a faint smile. "If you say so, bee-tee-dubs .. don't kill each other! Please and thank you." You affirmed as the array of buttons were clicked. As the scenery shifted into a torn-down cityscape, foes were already on the two men. The only fun thing about watching over the training sessions was getting to watch fellow X-Men in action. Just not with the risk of losing your life in the process. Leaning back into your chair, you took in a nice breath of air. Peace, for now at least. Jubilee sat up more straight, letting her bright yellow duster-like jacket collect at the sides of her chair. She brought her legs to her chest as both you and she watched Gambit and Logans fighting. You could feel her eyes wander to you in the quiet. You looked directly towards her, a sympathetic smile gracing your face. "How are you feeling?" Your voice was small but warm, comforting almost. This was the first time someone had even really asked her. "I don't know... it's like everything is just changing at once. I feel like a big Rubix cube." She said with a frown as she got more comfortable where she sat. You nodded your head in almost remembrance. "Trust me, becoming an X-men isn't the hardest part. It's living like one." Admitting with a soft sort of comfort, Jubilee was already warmer than before. The training session flew by as you two just talked and talked. She lamented about what life would be like now, what she would and wouldn't miss. How she was stripped of living like a normal teenager. "I mean everyone here has already been so nice to me, but this is just gonna take a lot of getting used to. ", she would lament to you in honesty. You tried to be as insightful as possible. Telling her that living as an X-men will always be tricky. But there will always be the people around here that'll keep you steady. Her ears perked up when you listed off your so-called "anchors." She immediately butted in after you listed off the Wolverine himself, Logan. "That guy? You two seem to be always at each other's throats?" She cracked at you with an inquisitive grin. "Well I mean yeah - he can be .. overly confident a lot of the time." You were almost reminding yourself. You didn't realize how long you spent talking about your scruffy metal-clawed 'friend.' You went on and on about how he combated with you in the best possible ways. How with his time in the X-Men, he opened up your worldview in many instances. He did so much to you and for you. He was almost like your escape in a way, and he maybe shared the same view. You didn't get into the nitty-gritty details of it, 'cause ew. But the moments away from daily life hecticness within the school you and he shared were your favorite. His arms were the sweetest embrace anyone could ask for. But that's what friends do, that's what friends are for.

 Though you always wondered if maybe you were wrong. Maybe you were holding on to nothing. Maybe there was an intimate connection between you two hiding under the surface. But you had a track record of getting your hopes up. You dashed those daydreams away as Jubilee yanked you back down into the now of things. Time flew by as the training sequence ended. Logan was immediately gloating his way out of the danger room. You and Jubilee met the two halfway. Gambit sang your high praises as he lamented about kicking Logan's ass in the drill. As the two grown men bickered Jubilee made her exit known. Since the professor was already summoning them all to the war room. Gambit waved you off with a small wink and another grand shuffle of his cards. Which just left you and logan ... fun. 

He quirked his brow in your direction as he realized your quiet demeanor. “Can you believe the guy? - come on bub you saw me!” He said in astonishment at Gambit's gambit tendencies. You crinkled your nose in a small giggle. If you were seeing straight, you couldn’t help but notice a small dash of a smile on Logan's face once he saw your mood brighten. His smile always found ways to make your knees weak and arms all jelly. “Yeah yeah, dont get your panties in a twist Lo.” You said with a twinkle in your eye. A grin followed spreading almost ear to ear.

His eyes softened ever so slightly with your jokes. He grumbled out his poorest joke yet. “Oh, I’ll show you.” He retorted before yanking you into him. Your back met his chest plate as you felt his collection of sweat. His muscled arms wrapped around your midsection as he whirled you around like a windmill. You ignited with laughter and “yucks” as you felt his sweat spreading onto you. You fought out his hold with a grimace and a sheepish chuckle, wiping your eye. “Christ man, you got all your .. muck on me!”

By now his claws were already dashed away. So his hands were now placed on his hips. He rolled his eyes as he looked you up and down. “Come on, you’ll live to see another day shrimpy.” He claimed with his eyes slowly wandering. “I look like a wet dog thanks to you.” You frowned jokingly, shaking your arms out. “On and on with you.” He remarked once again with his eyes rolling AGAIN soon after.

Closer and closer the two of you got as you both threw phony insults back and forth. Before your lips were inches away from one another. He drawled his quick mouth up and spat back something that would leave your mind in utter… shock. Was confusion the right word?  “Don’t play around with me, dimples. I know you’d like more than just my arms around you.” You quickly gasped out the pocket of air you were holding onto. A long pause was felt throughout the hall before you two darted in separate ways.

“I need to change!” You sheepishly shouted as you headed in the opposite direction of him. He did the same, mumbling whatever under his breath. “Don’t slip and fall!” He coughed out as you rubbed your face in annoyance. “Eat shit, Logan!” , “That’ll be a long time coming!” The both of you remarked to the other in unison. Both of your voices share the same sort of flustered frustration. You raced into the showers as you soon stumbled towards the sinks.

You splashed your face with cold water as your heart was still racing. Your cheeks were burning up let alone from his words. But you were soon able to catch up with your breath. Regaining your composure you looked yourself in the mirror. Gritting your teeth as you looked at the fool Logan made you. The Wolverine could be a hard-headed buffoon. Always on his way to making a snide insult with whichever X-men member was disagreeing with him. But god damn it was he your poison. You hated him and he hated you. That was the thing that kept you steady as you changed into uniform and raced towards the ongoing meeting. You knew that same smile still lingered on your face once you made your entrance into the war room. Able to brush off the team's sudden accusations as you made sure to remind everyone about the issue at hand. The Professor thanked you as he went back to discussing what new threats plagued human life. Your eyes always made their way back to Logans with small lingers. Making eye contact with you, his eye-line was diverted by you as you turned your attention back to the professor. The Wolverine was a fool, and he had already found purchase in your foolish heart. 

ꔫ✉ reblogs/interaction is appreciated <3 part two - ⭐️

[fallingdownhell]

i love your recent posts but can i request hurt/comfort genshin impact xiao, wanderer, cyno where like they get into an argument about the reader being weak or something like that

although they didn't mean it, but after a few days after the argument, they see reader like training hard for them because of the fight.

<3

Mhh, always. You know I love me a good dose of angst! And I'm sorry, but I only included two of the requested characters, because otherwise this would haven gotten way too out of hand and too much to read. Hope you're okay with that.

Characters Included: Xiao; Wanderer

Content: gender neutral reader; angst; comfort; hurt/comfort; established relationship; arguments between them and reader; shouting and cursing at reader in wanderer's scenario; Kunikuzushi/Kuni is being used for Wanderer

Word count: 2,2k words

Enjoy the read!

Xiao

You have to understand him. He's just looking out for you!

There is a clear, natural difference in strength between you and him!

He's an adeptus after all, and you're just a human! Sure, you possess a vision and you know perfectly well how to utilize it to your advantage in battle, but he's still your boyfriend! Let him be worried about you!

Honestly, he really just had your best interest and saftey in mind when he approached you one day, offering to train with you and possibly make you stronger, since he noticed your form to be a bit lacking when he watched you train.

The problem was, he told you exactly what he was thinking, no filter whatsoever. Which in turn caused you to get a bit defensive with him. That didn't sit right with Xiao, because in his eyes, he was only trying to help you.

This then resulted in a huge argument, where neither of you wanted to back down against the other.

"(Name), for the love of the Archons. Can't you see I'm only trying to help you here?"

"By berating me and telling me all the things I'm doing wrong? Without offering any advise at all? Yeah, great help.", you scoff as you turn your back to your boyfriend, trying to resume your exercise in peace. You were hoping that he would get the hint, to leave you alone. But he didn't.

"I'm really only looking out for you. You lack basic knowledge with the sword and you lack stamina as well. You're moving around too much, you make so many unnecassary movements. The hold you have on your weapon is too loose. Anyone could easily knock it out of your hand. Also-!"

"Okay! I got it!", you suddenly burst out as Xiao keeps on listing the things you're doing wrong in his eyes. It not only frustrated you, but it also made you feel so inferior.. to him and basically everyone else. You know that everyone starts out at some point. Everyone has to learn from the beginning. So why is he being so mean to you? Shouldn't he be more supporting of you as your boyfriend?

"I get it. You've made your point very clear."

You speak again, while Xiao just stares at you, mouth still hanging open. He didn't expect for you to raise your voice like this. You were usually so soft spoken.

You stared into each others eyes for a few more seconds, before you let out a sigh and placed your sword back into its sheat.

"I'm going home.", you announce as you go to grab your stuff. You collect everything and put it in your back, leaving without taking another look at him.

Suddenly, Xiao got the feeling that he made a huge mistake. Not only by "helping" you out with your training, but also as he let you go like this without having a talk with you, but something told him to let you be for the time being.

.....

Well... did he regret letting you just go like that. It has been almost a week since he last saw you, because you refused to call his name like you usually did on a daily basis.

And he was afraid of seeking you out himself, since he feared to only further sour your mood with an unannounced visit from his side. But he wanted to see you again so badly...

When the one week mark was reached without hearing anything from you, Xiao has had enough. He needed to make sure that you were okay. He was certain you would have called his name if you were in mortal danger, despite the argument at hand, but it's better to be safe than sorry. He needed to know you were still alive..

So, he teleported to your home, waiting for a few seconds in front of the door, gathering courage, before knocking on the door. He waited and waited, but nothing happened. He knocked again, but still nothing.

Xiao was about to leave again, scolding himself in his head, because of course you wouldn't open, you obviously didn't want to see him right now, when he heard noises coming from a bit further away.

Deciding to investigate, he followed the noises. And what he saw did shock him a bit..

He saw you, standing in a circle of training dummys, practicing different moves and tactics. He could tell that your hold on the blade has gotten better over the week you have been apart. In fact, everything he had critiqued about your skills seems to have improved...

Have you been training relentlessly this entire time??

This made him feel even more bad about this entire argument. He wanted to help you, not make you overexert yourself like this, just to prove something to him..

Deciding that it was finally time to talk, he approached you. You heard the footsteps coming your direction and turned towards them. Surprised to see Xiao there, you stopped in the middle of your session, facing him.

It was quiet for a few seconds as he arrived in front of you, and when you couldn't take it anymore, you decided to speak up again.

"What? Here to berate me even more?" It sounded way more sarcastic and hurtful than you had intended it to, and you saw Xiao flinch the slightest bit at your words, but you didn't back down from them.

"No..", Xiao answered weakly.

"I'm here to apologize." His words left you surprised, not expecting this at all.

"I didn't realize how much my words were hurting you. That was never my intention, (Name). I.. I'm just worried about you. There is a clear difference in skill, after all, but I shouldn't have been like this to you. I sincerely apologize for the way I treated you."

You have been with Xiao long enough to know two things. First, he was being completely honest with you. You could tell by the tone in his voice and the way he tried to look into your eyes, while also trying to avoid them at the same time, feeling embarrassed about being this vulnerable with someone.

Second, you knew just how hard it was for him to be honest and vulnerable with you. Saying this must have caused so much for him to do, yet he did it anyway.. for you.

For a second, you stood there and stared at him, before sighing and walking over to him, wrapping your arms around his body in a warm, comfortable hug. He did not hesitate for a second before doing the same, having missed this feeling dearly for the past week.

"I don't mind you helping me or giving me advise.. but maybe don't be so brash and insulting about it. Okay?"

He nodded, promising you to be more careful with his words from now on.

Wanderer

You sighed with relief as the Ruin guard in front of you collapsed and shattered into its parts, the cut on your side hurting a bit when you breathed, but it wasn't bleeding too bad, so the wound must not be too bad, either.

You were usually not that easy to surprise, but for some reason, you overlooked that particular ancient machine, resulting in it getting a hit on you before it was taken down.

Though, you were not the one responsible for taking it down. The actual reason was flying in from behind it, your boyfriend, Kuni. And while you were smiling at him, wanting to thank him for his help, he had a scowl on your face as he landed in front of you.

"What the hell were you thinking, Idiot? You would be dead now if it weren't for me being here!", he shouted as soon as he landed, not letting you get a word in.

You were taken aback by his harsh words and tone, staring at him, which only made him even more agitated.

"The hell? You don't even have an excuse! How can you be so fucking careless? I know you're weak but I wouldn't have thought of you being this stupid as well!"

You heard each and every single one of his words, and they all stung right in your chest. You were aware of the difference in power between you two, but that didn't mean you were incompetent with your polearm. You've trained long and hard to get to the point where you are now, and you were proud of yourself for it.

When you looked into his eyes again, you could see a bit of shock behind them, like he was surprised himself that the words actually left his lips.

You waited a few seconds, to see if he would apologize to you or take them back, but nothing came. Kuni's pride hindered him from doing the right thing..

"I see. If that's what you think of me, I won't be in your way again."

The words sounded cold when they left your lips, and Kunikuzushi flinched ever so slightly when hearing them, but you didn't react to it. Instead, you turned and walked away from him without acknowledging his presence any longer.

"Hey! What do you think you're doing? Where are you going?", he shouted after you, but no response. Then, he chased after you, but when he noticed that you were still ignoring him, he gave up on it, figuring that it would be best to leave you alone for the time being.

Surely, you would come crawling back to him soon enough... right?

....

....

Two weeks.

The incident has happened two weeks ago. And for those two weeks, he did not hear or see anything of you, whatsoever.

He was so sure that you wouldn't even survive a week without him before coming back and apologizing, but it seemed like he was wrong this time.

And he hated to admit this, even to himself, but.. he missed you. Missed your stupid, cheerful smile, your laugh and the way you always made his day better, just by spending time with him.

After about a week and a half, he began to think, that maybe, this time, he was actually the one in the wrong. That maybe, he took it too far with his words this time around.

Maybe.. he should be the one to apologize to you.

And yet, it took him a few more days to overcome his stupidly high pride and actually follow through with his thoughts.

Nahida, who knew all about the situation from Kuni himself, smiled and nodded proudly as the puppet went to leave the Sanctuary of Surasthana.

He first searched for you at your home, but you couldn't be found there. Then, he went on a stroll through the city, hoping to run into you along the way, but that too, proofed to be without success.

His last hope was the adventurers guild, and that someone hopefully has seen you there.

And luck was on his side this time, as some other members told him about how you have constantly been taking commission after commission for the past few days.

Feeling his worries for you rise again, he went to the locations given to him, hoping to find you there.

About an hour or so later, he spotted you at the location of the third commission you took, standing next to a defeated ruin drake while facing another one head on.

He had half a mind to rush over and take care of it for you, but something in him told him to let you handle it yourself. So he watched with bated breath as you easily took care of the machine, letting it fall to the ground while you remained completely unharmed.

That's when he really realized what his words might have caused for you. You are by no means a sheltered human, you're capable of defending yourself, and very well so.

As you were checking the defeated drakes for useful stuff, he came out of his 'hiding spot', walking directly to you. You noticed him approaching but chose to ignore him still. In fact, you've noticed his presence in the middle of the fight, but decided not to call him out and see what he would do.

When he arrived, he just stood next to you in silence for a while, watching you. But when you still wouldn't acknowledge him, he decided to speak up.

"(Name)... I... I'm sorry..", he mumbled quietly. He felt embarrassed, not used to acting like the bigger person, but he was in the wrong here, so he had to do this, no matter what.

The words out of Kuni's mouth caught you by surprise, your head swirling around to look at him, finally.

Kunikuzushi didn't know what else to say right now, so he stayed silent, hoping you would understand how difficult this was for him right now.

"..I'm not weak.", you answered him quietly as well, fully facing him now, but your posture and tone seemed a bit more open and calmer now.

"..I know."

He may not be the best with words, but somehow, you always understood what he wanted to say, anyways. It has always been this way between you. It was one of the many things he loved so much about you.

And that's how it was this time, too. He quietly thanked the Gods when he pulled you into his arms again, holding you for the first time in what had felt like an eternity.

[andreawritesit]

can i request cregan and targ reader where he gets her a wolf and its all sweet and stuff ❤️

Fandom: House of the Dragon

Pairing: Cregan Stark x Targaryen Reader

Synopsis: You had been living in the North for quite a while now but nothing felt quite as welcoming as receiving a warm bundle of joy as a present.

It was not morning yet. Or perhaps it was. Wrapped in the dark grey clouds, the sun often played hide and seek in the Northern skies. It was difficult to tell what time of the day it was. You got out of bed and immediately, the sudden chill enveloped your entire body, down to your bones. Quickly grabbing the fur blanket from the bed, you wrapped it tightly around yourself. The cold was your worst enemy, your soul was forged out of fire after all. Even after an entire month, you still couldn't understand why your mother would betroth you to a Northern lord. You were the same girl on the side of whose bed she had spent countless nights awake. As soon as the weather became colder, you'd catch a fever. Throughout your childhood and even now, in your adolescent years, Rhaenyra has been on her toes constantly because of how the cold affected you. And yet she had sent you to marry Lord Cregan Stark. Why? That's not to say that your betrothed wasn't the most respectable man you had ever met. Cregan was cold and stoic as Northerners tend to be, but he was also honorable and extremely kind to you. As soon as you had arrived at Winterfell on dragonback, he had done all he could to make sure you were comfortable. He made sure you got plenty of warm clothes and furs and despite being the lord of Winterfell, he came to your chambers every day to see if you needed anything.

You had both decided that you would marry only after the war was over. He didn't want to tie you to himself knowing very well that he could die in the war and leave you by yourself. And you didn't want to marry him so soon either because you still wanted to partake in your mother's efforts to get her throne back from the usurpers.

You walked to the window and looked outside. Everything was covered in pristine white snow. It was so different from Dragonstone and Kings Landing. Instead of the hustle and bustle of the South, there was a calming silence in the North. Soon enough, the sun's rays began to pierce through the dense clouds, casting a golden hue over the snow-covered landscape. You couldn't help but smile at the view outside. The tranquility was suddenly broken by a soft knock at the door.

"Come in", you called, walking away from the window.

The door slowly creaked open, revealing the Lord of Winterfell. His tall and imposing figure was contrasted by a warm smile on his face, a sight you had come to cherish over the past month.

"Good morning Princess. I hope I didn't disturb your rest."

You shook your head, "Not at all, my Lord. I was already up." Your eyes went to a bundle of blankets in his arms. "What brings you here so early?"

Cregan's smile widened as he walked to where you were standing. "I come bearing a gift for you, my Princess." He stepped closer, revealing a small, furry creature nestled in the crook of his arm. "I hope this will make your stay here easier. He's a wonderful companion." He removed the top blanket a little and a small head peeked out.

Your eyes widened in surprise. "A dire wolf pup?" you breathed out as you reached to gently stroke his fur. "He's so precious and small."

"One of the she-wolves gave birth to many pups this morning. When I saw this one, I knew I had to give him to you." The dire wolf pup, with its striking blue eyes and white fur, nuzzled into your touch, eliciting a soft laugh out of you. "Here, hold him", Cregan whispered as he softly passed the pup into your arms. You cradled him close and looked up at Cregan, your heart swelling with affection.

"Thank you. He's perfect."

"Much like you", he said while stroking the pup's head gently.

"Is that why you brought him to me? Because he's perfect like me? Or was there any other reason?"

Cregan let out a small chuckle at your words. "It's one of many reasons I decided to gift this one to you. You see, just minutes after being born, he was already jumping around and causing mayhem in the yard. Reminded me of you and your dragon quite a lot."

You punched his arm lightly and a laugh left your lips. The pup nuzzled your neck and you couldn't help but giggle. Cregan's gaze softened as he watched you bond with the dire wolf. "He's strong and brave, much like you," he said, his voice filled with admiration. "I thought he could be a symbol of the North's acceptance of you."

You felt a rush of gratitude and warmth, not just from the direwolf but from Cregan's thoughtful gesture. He had once again won you over, something that had happened quite a few times already.

"I know it's not easy for you to settle down here in the North. But I'm grateful that you're trying and I promise you, I will take care of you. I will make sure you won't have to miss the warmth of your home. Winterfell will be your abode one day and I hope I will become your family, someone you'll be able to trust and perhaps even love one day."

You shifted the pup into your right arm and held Cregan's hand with your left hand. "You have no idea how much you have already done for me. When I first came here, I was a scared little girl who was being separated from her family but now I feel like I was always meant to be here, with you. I can assure you that I will also do everything I can to be there for you. I am ready, to accept Winterfell as my home and you as my husband."

Cregan's expression softened, and he squeezed your hand lightly. "I'm glad to hear that," he said sincerely. "I'm glad you came here."

"Me too."

Suddenly, the pup stirred, letting out a small, contented yawn. You and Cregan both laughed softly. The moment was broken but no less sweet. "I suppose he's tired", Cregan whispered as he covered the pup with a small blanket.

"Have you named him yet, my Lord?"

He shook his head, "No. He's your companion. You should name him."

You took a long look at the white fluffy ball of fur in your arms. "I'll name him Winter," you decided, looking up at Cregan with a smile. "To remind me of the kindness and strength of the North."

"Winter it is, then," he said. "May he bring you joy and protect you always."

Your heart swelled with emotion as you held Winter close. "He already has," you replied, your gaze locked with Cregan's. "Thank you, Cregan."

In that moment, the chill of the North transformed into the warmth of new companionship and a realization that perhaps your feelings for the Northern Lord had evolved into something deeper.

[unsuredreamer]

Savior

Bridget Hearts 🩷 x fem reader

it's so shit I'm so sorry, but i feel like every idea just flees out of my head atm 🥲

"I will destroy you!" Uliana roared, preparing herself to run after Bridget. Eating too many flamingo feathers had its side effects, and it was about time she found out that when someone says 'don't do it' you simply listen.

It enraged you. She was so stupid, yet everyone feared her. How so? You'd never understand why they didn't stand up to her. What would she do? Run after you? It was all she was capable of, after all.

You needed to put a stop to her dumb frantics, so you stepped up with your dagger, holding it close to her neck.

"Oooo, we dont wanna do that, do we?" You grinned, basically threatening her with death. It was exciting, thrilling. Being just a step away from getting rid of someone, having that power over them. Being in a possession of their life thread, having the scissors steady in your hand. It was amusing to you. The goosebump on your skin shows from the rush you felt deep inside.

The dagger you held so close it was pinning her skin, making a slight dent. Her breath on hold. "I suggest you step away from our princess of hearts or you'll make an excellent sushi tonight, darling." You mirrored her peers' shocked expressions. None of them daring to step up to you. You were feared amongst them, being slightly older than the rest of the students, and kind of crazy too. It had its advantages having your twisted history behind.

"Marinated octopus. How does it sound?" Or would you like something last season? Shrimp pasta?" You smiled ominously, pricking the sharp end deeper in her neck, almost making it bleed. You could sense the blade cutting her first skin, making her immediately stumble back.

"You- You're mad!" She managed to yell out, holding her fresh wound before she took her turn, walking away, or should you say, basically running away. Your graceful dagger flew after her pinning itself right beside her head, trimming her friends hair in the process.

"Might be, just a little bit" you giggled, making the blade return to you with a swift wave of your hand. Turning yourself to the other group, you fixed your button-up shirt. Red and Chloe standing in awe at how well mannered you seemed even though you almost committed murder right in front of their eyes. Red thanking you internally for saving her mother. "But aren't we all?" You grinned, your cheshire cat-like smile making everyone around you blush. You were charming, to say the least, although it was not thanks to your name. "Look at that," you pouted, pointing at the shattered plate in front of you. "She wasted such good cupcakes. What a shame"

"Don't worry, Y/n, i think I have enough for everyone!" Bridget smiled brightly. "Thank you for your savior service" She bowed jokingly, giving you one of her famous smiles in return.

"And look at you cupcake, How could anyone not like you?" You waved your hands in the air, making her broken belongings whole again. Holding it our for her. "This plate was too pretty to be broken. Dont let yourself be broken, beautiful, " you winked before dissappearing into thin air. Red and Chloe blinking a couple of times to check if they saw right.

"Woah, who was that? Hot, sexy and amusing?" Red spoke up, getting a glare in return from both Bridget and Chloe. "I'm just saing" the girl threw her arms in the air in a defensive manner.

"That was Y/n. We don't really know much about her" Bridget dreamily explained, holding her beautifully decorated plate close to her chest.

"Only that she's done some horrible stuff. And she's kinda insane" Ella blabbered, rolling the cupcake trolley.

"It was for good!. And she's right, we're all mad here" Bridget butt in, snapping herself out of her daydreams.

" If you can call cutting someone's lim-"

"Ella, they don't have to know that" bridget laughed nervously, taking another plate from her trolley "She's not that bad how they make her out to be-here you go-" The pink haired princess walked around giving out more of her delicious cupcakes. "She is actually so nice-"

"She commits crime at least 3 times a week, and her go-to 'entertaining' hobby is watching people stumble and fall over this tree root" Ella butt in pointing at the object.

"But, she paints me pink roses and brings me many different ingredients for my sweets. Isn't that nice?" Bridget hummed, making red and chloe look at themselves

"Do you think what i think?" Red whispered to her fellow 'friend', the other just nodding her head.

-

"You know, I think you should ask Bridget out for castlecoming" Red blurted out while walking after/stalking you around the school.

"Yeah? Why is that so?" You giggled, holding a book about baking. You were currently at the library, just trying to make your way to the comfy corner made specifically for residents of the library. Unfortunately, you couldn't use it if you weren't reading a book of some sort. Hence why you took ahold of whatever, with intentions of taking a nap in the place.

"Well, you seem to be liking her, aaaand she seems to be liking you too" You laughed, you loved being in these kinds of situations.

"Well loves, what made you think I like this princess?" You looked up from your book, you let's be real, were not paying attention to. The question made them rethink everything.

"You-She-em" Chloe tried, but nothing made sense

"I guess she's alright" You grinned at their troubled expressions.

Princess of hearts was more than alright. She was everything and nothing at the same time. She was the air you breathed and the hard ground you walked on. She is like the ocean breeze early in the morning, the sunbeams lightly musking your face and the cold water splashing your body. She lit up the whole room with her bright eyes and cute smile. Like a walk through a rainy forest, she made you content and calm. Her delicate and soft features fairly contrast to your strong ones. It made you only more drawn to her.

"Wouldn't you want to take her out?"

"You're very persistent. interesting" you hummed "And why would I do that, Red my love?" You flew up from your comfortable place, spinning around doing flips. Red grimacing at the nickname, Chloe glaring at you "Chill Charming" The snort you let out made chloe burst out one of her own "I will take your mommy to the dance Red. Don't want her turning out evil, do we?"

"How do you-?"

"Well, I might have or have not overheard you twoooo, talking maybee" You flew circling them both, extra dragging your words making them annoyed "Aboouut an evil Queen who likes to behead people, whom also happened to be your mom and she sentenced your mom to death" You grinned spitting it all out in one breath "Crazy little woman"

"So now you know"

"Yeah, that's what I said. Are you deaf darling?" She was ready to jump you but got stopped by Chloe, thankfully. "I'm going, my children. I have to make a proposal for your mom now, do i?"

"Only my mom not hers!"

"Of course!" You laughed, dissappearing in the frame.

-

"Hello Bridget" You whispered into her ear appearing behind her. Your lips musking her skin. she stopped breathing for a hot second, staring intensively at her notebook. A beautiful yours heart shaped necklace with lots of cards and sweets drawn on the page. Her slender manicured fingers held onto a pencil, touching up some lines. "That is amazingly jaw-dropping." You kept on whispering

"Thank you" She whispered out herself, turning her head to the side. Her lips almost touching yours in the process. Her big brown eyes dropping down to your lips, then back up to your own enchanting ones.

"You know if you want to kiss me, you just have to ask" You leaned closer, bumping your noses together, giving her your biggest grin possible.

"What if i do?" Her sudden confidence made you stumble a bit back, but her quick grip on your collar dragged you in closer "...want to kiss you" she breathed out into your lips. you felt every bone in your body snap.

"Then we might just have to do that" You looked down on her lips, almost closing the blank space between you two if it weren't for the sudden yank of your shirt from the back.

"Please don't do that here" Red grimaced, secretly smirking when she saw you on the ground.

"Party pooper!" You floated up placing yourself between two girls. "Ohh, such a sunshine!" You threw your arm around Ella, the girl too stiff to shrug it off.

"Whatever"

"Sooooo, Ella tell me how's it going with little prince Charming" You grinned against her cheek, she blushed hard at the mention of him

"Did he ask you to the castle coming yet?" Bridget asked excitedly, almost pushing you off the bench.

"He did, but I'm not going. i think i made my point clear-"

"Oh c'monnnn. At least he asked you" Bridget pouted "I wish someone would ask me" the girl dragged, looking down on her drawing, popping her head on her palm. Red looked at you, raising her eyebrows.

"Cupcake" with just a single word everyone was looking at you, not a bit of your confidence faltering away. With a wave of your hand a pink rose appeared, well developed with only a single thorn and two leafs. "Could I take you to castle coming?" you asked in all seriousness, presenting her the rose. Her eyes widened at your gesture.

"Well, there weren't any roses for me, surely," Ella grinned, wiggling her eyebrows at the other girls.

"So what do you say, princess?" She threw her arms around your neck, engulfing you in a tight hug.

"Hell yes! I'd love it, actually. " She smiled widely, giving you a kiss on the cheek. You felt the blood rushing in you. You loved the feeling of her lips on you, her touch. She was so soft, like a pillow. So delicate. It made you want more.

You never thought about the princess of hearts that way. Actuallyy you did, once or twice. But before that, she was always just there. Just someone you'd defend before Uliana and her crew. Someone who did cool card tricks and someone who was so easily prank-able. But you wouldn't dare. She was good-hearted, almost perfect. No one was that pure, and still, here she was, pure as the driven snow. A pretty girl there was no denying. You've never imagined what her touch would feel like if it lingered on you a bit more than a few seconds. Or if she's keeping any secrets, she had to, right?

-

"You know Bridget, you look absolutely gorgeous" You smiled, not sarcastically, a true genuine smile you haven't done for years. It made her blush for the millionth time this evening.

Your hands were resting on her small waist, hers on your shoulders, making her fingers intertwine on your neck. Slowly swaying your bodies together in the rythm of the music. Not your thing completely, but her presence changed it entirely. It was probably the last song of the night, leaving only a few couples in the ballroom. But you both had such great fun you wouldn't wish on heavens to go home right now. Just being here with her was the right place, and you felt it deep inside.

"Thank you" Was all she made out "Thank you for taking me here" She laid her head on your chest, placing you both even closer.

"No worries. I could do it a million times if it meant getting to spend time with you. My heart" you swayed both of you slowly, the song never ending.

"I loved tonight, I'm glad im here with you. I hope we'll be able to spend more time together" She looked up at you, her big brown eyes staring closely and longingly. Your heart is beating rapidly in your chest. You placed your hand in her hair, grabbing the back of her head.

"Of course we will. I'm making sure of that" Her eyes lit up, brightening the whole room for you. You were absolutely in awe, speechless. She had never looked better. The dim lights only making her singular features pop more. No one will ever look better than her.. At least you won't be looking at them. You've got your only one star, your moon. She was not yours, but she will be. "Can I kiss you?" The sudden question did not startle her in fact she did not mutter a word. A single nod with a smile was all that it took.

You will be her savior forevermore

[mj0702]

I hope i got it right...

I want to put out there that this is extremely heavy and angsty

Self doubt

“Ay Puta...” you heard behind you while you were standing next to the Barca bench observing the ongoing game

“PUTA!!” you heard again turning around wondering why someone would swear at a fan like this – you thought for a second that it was a fan from the other team trying to start trouble in “your” fan block just to be met with a Barca-fan glaring at you

“eh??” you looked at him confused

“Sí tu.. Eres una perra” the fan glared at you pointing aggressively towards you

“eh... gracias?” you looked unsure

Your spanish was getting better – thanks to Aitana. But you were still a beginner and most of the times you didn't understand half of the stuff the girls were saying. All of them were very lovely and spoke slow around you but there were still too many words you didn't know. Aitana was the one who took it upon herself teaching you – Ona, Alexia, Mario, Marta, even Mapí switched to english (more Spanglish) when you were around them. Which was very nice and polite but you were always one to learn new things. Aitana noticed this and slowly started to tell and teach you new things. It started with small things football related like positions. Goalkeeper – Cata... portera. Defence – Lucy... defensa. Midfielders – Keira... mediocampistas. It transitioned into every day things. Not Buenos dia – Bon dia. You were in Catalonia. Definitely not Buenos Aires.

“Tu perra estúpida” the man rolled his eyes his aggressive demeanour not faltering

You shrugged your shoulders apologetic turning around again. You knew he called you stupid. You understood more than people realize. Especially the things Keira would slap your head for. But you promised Keira and Lucy to behave today. It was the last game before international break and Lucy promised you, she'll let you go on a date with your girlfriend once back in England if you'd behave. Keira promised you she'll occupy Lucy for more than one night. So you HAVE to behave. That's when you felt something connect with the back of your head. You looked down on the ground next to you to find an empty plastic cup laying there making you turn around. Of course it was the man who already called you stupid

“What's your problem man?” you asked bewildered

“Tú eres la razón por la que el equipo ya no está tan orientado a los fanáticos... todo es sobre ti y lo preciosa que eres... perra simplemente regresa a tu país” the man sneered

“Lo siento... I no.... mucho spaniard” you said carefully but you understood what he said – more or less.

“puta” the man spat at you and you noticed that he was quite intoxicated

“gracias” you nodded deciding there was no use in getting into an argument

“Eres una perra inútil que viene aquí complicando las consas – espero que mueras pronto... Lucía estaría mucho mejor sin que tú la detuvieras” the man huffed behind you and this time you flinched a little

“Another great win for the blaugrana” Lucy gloated in the locker room grinning widely

“Sí... it was a good win” Alexia smiled “... even your performance was nearly acceptable Bronze”

“Ay... big words for someone who warmed the bench today” your sister shot back both of them smirking just waiting for you to join in

To their surprise you didn't. You sat on the far end in the locker room chewing on your lower lip deep in thoughts

“Hey Bubs...” Lucy called out softly “... what's bothering you?”

“Nothing” you looked up quickly before your attention was back on your hands

“Bubs...” your sister started to come over just to get held back by Keira

“Leave her... you know how her mind works... she's dealing with something at the moment...” Keira said her voice low her hand still wrapped around Lucys wrist “... she'll come around”

“It's just not her to be like this after a win” Lucy spoke just as low keeping an eye on you

“... maybe she saw something today and already works on a solution... you know she immediately needs to fix things in her head otherwise she'll be up the whole night” the englishwoman said softly watching you out of the corner of her eye

“Yeah... but... it's different than normal” your sister said seeing the little creases that started to form between your eyes

“I'll take her back to mine tonight okay...” Keira said “... maybe that helps”

“I can take care of her thank you very much” Lucy snapped “... I did it before you were around”

“Lucy...” her ex rolled her eyes “... it's not about that... you invited half the team to your place for a little after-game snack...”

“Oh... yeah...” your sister said ashamed already forgotten that she invited everyone before the game even started

“The way she scratches herself tells me she won't be able to deal with lots of people tonight...” Keira ignored the little outburst “... just her and me...”

“Yeah sounds good... just...” Lucy looked guilty

“... I'll keep you updated yes” the blonde smiled softly

“Thank you” your sister whispered taking another look at you

“Come on Bits...” Keira said softly carefully touching your shoulder

“Eek” you squeaked scared shuffling away

“It's just me....” the blonde said gently not following you keeping her distance

“Sorry...” you mumbled once your brain realized who it was that touched you

“Your brain running 500 miles an hour again, hm?” Keira asked lightly

“Mhm...” you muttered looking at her apologetic

“Come on Bits... it's time to go home” the blonde smiled

“Where is everyone?” you looked around confused the locker room empty except for Keira and you

“Mapí and Ingrid left around 15 minutes ago” Keira said holding out her hand

“And the rest?” you shook your head not coping with the fact you missed everyone leaving

“... Mapí was the last one... as always... the rest is probably at Lucys already” the blonde kept her voice soft still waiting for you to come around

“Okay...” you sighed pushing yourself off the bench your mind already starting to run circles again with the knowledge that your home will be invaded by the Barca squad

“We won't go there...” Keira got your bag walking behind you

“Where will we go?” you asked the blonde seeing how you fought your own body on its instincts

“My place...” the blonde simply said

“Okay...” you said lowly the thoughts your mind is producing starting to flare up again

“We'll talk at home” Keira said gently seeing how your shoulders slumped down

“Am I in trouble?” you asked carefully

“No.... Bitsy no... why would you be in trouble” the blonde quickly answered looking confused “... you were perfectly behaved today”

“Then why am I going with you?” you looked at Keira bewildered

“Oh Bits...” the blonde sighed now understanding where you're coming from “... you're not getting punished but I know you... I can see that you wouldn't be able to handle a team night right now... I can feel you need a quiet night... that's why I told Luce I'll take you with me so you can sort your head out in peace... without Pina and Mapí pulling you into their wrestling matches”

“So I did nothing wrong?” you looked at the blonde uncertain

“You did nothing wrong Bitsy” Keira smiled softly pulling you against her pressing a loving kiss against your hairline

“You're awfully quiet tonight” Keira said watching you with eagles’ eyes

“Just thinking about... stuff” you mumbled

“You want to talk about that stuff?” the blonde asked trying to get a hold on your current mood

“No” you muttered as you pushed your food around on your plate

“Bitsy...” Keira put her hand on yours stopping you from pushing your potatoes around “... talk to me”

“I just.... need some time...” you mumbled pushing your chair back standing up “... can I please go to my room?”

“Yeah okay...” the blondes sighed deeply “... I'll put your food in the fridge if you get hungry later”

“Thanks momma” you murmured as you shuffled down the hallway

“What's going on with you Bitsy?” Keira whispered to herself as she watched you

The next days went on like the evening you spend with Keira. You were extremely quiet, stayed away from players. You didn't give into Lucys prodding. Ignoring her teasing. You packed your bag for England with coercion precise which told your sister that something was really wrong. She tried to talk to you about it but you just brushed her off. Ona noticed as well. Of course she noticed. She loved you. She loved you like a little sister so she noticed that something was wrong. Ona approached you the night before you were leaving for international break trying make you feel comfortable enough so you would say something. But to her surprise you didn't falter. Just explained in your broken spanish that it's nothing and you'll just need to think about things.

Next morning on the way to the airport Lucy and Keira changed meaningful looks while you were occupied chewing your nails. You flinched once as the security guard checked your leg going over your knee but other than that you kept to yourself. Even on the flight to London you just sat there staring down on your hands.

Now two days into camp Keira watched you with growing concern as you more and more withdrew from any interactions. You kept your clear from Sarina, Lucy, Leah, Millie, herself, Mearps – all the people you normally would console if something was wrong.

“Kei... uhm... you have a minute?” Georgia asked quietly

“What's up G?” the blonde looked up from her book

“My girlfriend... is not my girlfriend anymore” Georgia said uncomfortable “.. I want to know why”

“I wish I could help you G... but I don't know what's going on with her” Keira said apologetic glancing over where you where hunched in a beanbag “... it started after the last game.... it gets worse every day... she didn't want to talk to me... or Luce... or Ona... I don't know what's going on G.... I kinda hoped you could get her to talk”

“I got a hug as a greeting Kei....” the younger blonde shook her head “... we didn't see each other for month and I got a HUG”

“She also flinches when someone touches her G...” Keira took a deep breath

“Kei.... is there someone else?” Georgia asked somewhat scared of the answer

“Don't be daft G... of course not....” the older player looked outraged

“It's just... a hug” your girlfriend looked so lost so hurt

“I know G... she's not herself since the last game” Keira looked just as lost feeling bad for her best friend “... be patient G... let her come to you... be there for her when she does... don't push her to tell you things... I know it's hard G but you need to be patient”

“I just want to hold her... tell her everything's gonna be okay” Georgia looked over to you

“Then do just that” the older one said “... not right now... but maybe tonight after dinner... lure her into your room... I'll talk to Leah to stay out of your way.... just see if she lets you hug her.... if she hugs you back... then go from there.... If you feel her freeze let go of her immediately”

“What happened at that game?” your girlfriend asked

“I don't know G... I was on the pitch... Lucy too... we told her we trust her to behave and we used you as a bait... so we let her be on her own without supervision – it helped that Mapí was on the pitch with us... of course Alexia and Frido had an eye on her but they told me she was perfectly behaved... Just that at one point she came back to the bench and was... quieter” Keira said “... so I don't know what happened”

“I see if can get something out of her...” Georgia mumbled seeing how you started to chew your nails again

“Don't force it G... she'll run” the older player said gently

“Then I'll run with her... I'm faster anyway...” your girlfriend smiled but Keira saw immediately it was just for show

“Patience G.... patience” Keira said softly

That was three weeks ago. You spoke to no one about what stressed you out so much. You didn't want to burden anyone with your problem. Lucy was out of ideas. Keira was out of ideas. Alexia was out of ideas. Mapí, Patri and Pina tried to carefully pull you back into their shenanigans but you blocked all their attempts. Lucy was this close to call your old therapist asking for help when Keira told her that it'd be useless since you always were one who needed to come forward with her problems herself. You saw how your current mood was putting a strain on different relationships. Lucy and Keira had words. Lucy snapped at Ona one night who in result threw her shoe at Lucy and hit your sister straight on the head. Alexia was tense to no end which costed Mapí a lot of extra laps after telling her best friend – not her capitana – to get laid soon before everyone gets beheaded. All that didn't help to ease your mind. It was confirmation in your head that that fan was right. They all be so much better without you around. And just like that there were these thoughts again. Maybe if you didn't call Leila last time (eventho you wanted Hempo) maybe then the team would be better now. Lucy would have mourned yes but she would've gotten over it and would be even better now. Olympic gold better maybe. Leila saved your life. Maybe she shouldn't have. Your life isn't that valuable. You're a nobody. A nobody that held the people around you back from getting to their full potential.

“I'm going for a walk” you mumbled as you walked past Lucy

“Bubs” your sister tried to go after you but you quickly jumped the barrier immediately starting to sprint off

“She knows her way around now Lucy...” Alexia said carefully looking after you where you cut the corner out of the trainings centre “... we made her memorize our numbers... she'll contact one of us okay”

“I have a bad feeling....” Lucy mumbled “... a really bad feeling”

“You know there's no use in hunting her down” Keira appeared next to Lucy and Alexia

“I know....” your sister sighed massaging her forehead

“I have a bad feeling too.... but we won't find her if she doesn't want to be found” the englishwoman said

“Everyone” Alexia announced loudly to get everyones attentions “... all phones into the basket....”

“Why?” Ewa asked confused

“The Cariño might call one of us if she needs help or something and if we don't hear it because the phones are in the locker room I will personally make sure your legs will fall off from all the laps you're going to run” the blonde catalan said threating and everyone scrambled and stumbled to get their phones

The call Alexia hoped for never came. Training was long over by now most of the Team already on their way home. Lucy was still sitting in her trainings outfit on one of the benches hoping you'd come back any minute. It got dark about an hour ago the temperature dropping but still warm for english blood. By now your sister expected the worst. She send Ona home just in case you went home or showed up there.

“Luce...” Keira said softly sitting down next to her ex

“Just ten more minutes...” Lucy said deep in thoughts

“These ten minutes won't make a difference Luce...” the blonde squeezed your sisters’ knee carefully

“... but what if...” your sister started

“... she won't come back here Luce...” Keira said gently “... there's no point in waiting for her here”

“She might....” Lucy said her voice breaking

“She won't and you know it... you knew the second she jumped over the barrier instead of going through the tunnel... just like I knew” the blonde said her voice low

“Why are you so rational about this? I'm seriously freaking out expecting the worst and you sit next to me all calm and collected” your sister snapped not knowing how to react anymore

“I trust her to make the right decision whatever this decision might be...” Keira said looking at Lucy “... I trust her that she'll call one of us when she needs to.... I don't care if it's me or you or Ona or Pina or Jenni... I trust her that she'll do it....”

“I just can't sit around waiting for....” Lucy broke the eye contact with Keira her head falling into her hands

“... go home Lucy.... you have a supportive girlfriend waiting for you... whoever she calls... that person will inform you” the blonde squeezed her ex knee one last time before standing up walking away to her car

You ran. Once again you ran. Your knees burning and hurting but you kept running. You felt like you were drowning in the trainings facility like that place won't let you breath. So you ran. Your lungs burning but you pushed yourself to keep going. You didn't know where you were going you just felt you needed to get away. That's how you found yourself standing in the middle of the beach your breathing coming out as harsh pants and you just sank to your knees for the first time letting yourself feel. You cried. You cried until there were no tears left and you nearly passed out because you couldn't breathe properly. People passed by just looking weirdly at you but no one dared to asked if everything is okay. You stayed there until the sun started to go down. You stayed because it was easier to sort your thoughts there. Where no one interrupted your mind. Again you asked if it would've been better if you went through with it back in Manchester.

“Yes?” you heard the friendly voice on the other end

“Do you think I hold Lucy and Keira back from showing their full potential?” you asked without any greeting whatsoever

“Did you hit your head? Where's that load of bullshit coming from?” the person asked bewildered

“I shouldn't have phone you...” you mumbled “... sorry....”

“No no no no... if you hang up now I'll call Alexia and tell her where you are” the person immediately threatens you knowing you didn't call her by accident

“You don't know where I am” you grumbled

“At the beach... I can hear the waves in the background...” you got your answer quickly “... talk to me Guapa”

��I just... my mind won't shut up...” you said your throat already tightening again

“What does it say...” the woman asked calm

“That I shouldn't have called you...” you mumbled trying to keep your breathing under control

“... but you did... so what do you need” her soft voice helped you staying calm

“Not this time... the last time” you finally said it out loud – more or less

“Guapi... do I need to call the caballerá? Do I need to call Alexia and tell her she has to bring an ambulance with her?” Leila asked seriously already her second phone in her hand ready to call her Nationalteam capitan

“No... I promise....” you said quietly “... but my mind tells me I shouldn't have called you”

“You were good for so long... what happened?” the spanish woman asked falling into her couch all the way in Manchester

“There was this fan....” you started but somehow thinking about it made you nauseous

“... do you trust me Guapi?” Leila asked as you didn't keep talking

“Sí...” you breathed out

“Bueno... You stay where you are... I’ll send someone to pick you up and get you somewhere warm....” the brown haired woman said softly

“Not Alexia...” you quickly panicked

“I promise not Alexia.... not Lucy or Keira either...” Leila kept her voice calm “... I want you to stay on the phone until they pick you up okay? Can you do that for me Guapi?”

“Sí....” you mumbled

“Bueno Guapi... I promise she'll help you without asking questions...” the spaniard said smiling a little

“Ingrid? You called Ingrid??” you asked upset as you saw the norwegian coming your way

“Yes... she'll help you without forcing answers out of you” Leila answered as a matter of fact “... I can't come get you this time Guapi... she's one of the few people I trust to provide you with whatever you need”

“If I wanted Ingrid I would've call her myself” you snapped still upset

“But you didn't... you said you trusted me so let me do my job as your guardian angle and help you out when you don't know which way to go” the brown haired spaniard said

“If you'd be me guardian angle you'd already committed suicide...” you grumbled watching Ingrid carefully who stood a few feet away probably waiting for you to come to her

“True.... and the 50 who would come after me too...” Leila shrugged her shoulders hearing how you slowly warmed up to her plan

“I wouldn't accept any angel after you” you grumbled

“Good... I am special” the spaniard grinned “... go Guapi.... Ingrid will be good for you.... I also told her to keep Mapí away from you”

“I like Mapí...” you huffed

“But she won't help you right now... you need someone like Ingrid....” Leila said gently “... vamos Guapi”

“Don't you vamos me...” you huffed but you got up “... gotta go now...”

“Just tell Ingrid what you need... she'll do it without questioning” the brown haired spaniard said softly

“Lei...” you started

“Sí?” Leila hummed

“Gracias” you mumbled getting closer to the norwegian

“Siempre Guapi....” Leila smiled

“Can you... maybe... say... anything?” you asked quietly sitting next to Ingrid in her Cupra

“Frido and I played together in Wolfsburg... Pernille too... Ewa was at the time at Wolfsburg too... and Poppi...” the norwegian started as she took another right turn and you noticed she wasn't going home or to any home you knew

“I remember... you played City....” you said your voice still low “... Poppi will die in Wolfsburg...”

“Hm... yeah... Pernille, Frido and I agreed to meet up one day we had off and Pernille told us about that little bistro place....” Ingrid kept her voice light “... so Frido would come and pick me up and we should meet P at the Bistro... Frido decided we could walk there.... according to her it was “just around the corner”...”

“It wasn't was it?” you snorted and it was the first time in nearly four weeks that Ingrid heard that sound and it made her heart swell

“Of course not... P called us an hour later where we were, she's waiting forever already...” the norwegian keep talking “... we needed another hour to get to the Bistro... Pernille died laughing at our idiocy... especially since she made us walk back even tho her car was parked two streets away... she said it was a lesson for Frido and I just had to suffer with that godforsaken Swede”

“You don't like Frido?” you asked surprised

“Oh I love her like my sister...” Ingrid quickly clarified “... but like a sister I sometimes want to strangle her”

“Lucy would carry me around on me ankles when I was little...” you got quiet again mentioning your sister

“I really had problems with the German language you know...” the norwegian noticed the change in your demeanour immediately “... even tho we have similar words... but I still had problems with the grammar”

“G absolutely sucks at grammar... not that I know what she's saying but her teammates tell me she sucks...” you shrugged your shoulders “... Guili says her pronunciation is good but her grammar is terrible...”

“German is one of the hardest languages to learn” Ingrid hummed

“Do you still speak german?” you asked your mind easing up again

“A little... not much... I can order a coffee and a piece of apple cake...” the norwegian smiled glancing at your face trying to read you

“G always takes me to this place in Munich... they have these... pancakes style things... but they're deep-fried... they're SO good... I always guilt trip into eating one too and then she has to do extra gym time...” you just started talking and Ingrid saw how easy it was on you to talk about your girlfriend but not your sister “... I once made Alex eat one... he was whining the whole afternoon his stomach hurts... that was funny”

“You meet up with P and Mags when you are in Munich?” Ingrid asked taking another turn

“At least for one dinner... P makes this... Danish things that are sooooo good... and Magda and G always fight for the last Kanelbullar which P always gives to me and then Mags and G fight who's fault it is that no one of them got the last one...” you talked like a kid on Christmas

“Sounds like Magda....” the norwegian snorted “... she's like María... a force on the pitch... a kid by heart”

“I'm keeping you from your evening with your girlfriend” you suddenly noticed shrinking back into the seat

“Kjæreste.... you're not keeping me from anything... I had to fight María when Leila texted... she was so scared that something happened to you....” Ingrid said softly “... you are so important to all of us... I did text her when I found you, I texted your sister that you are save now...”

“I'm not important” you mumbled

“You are... you impacted all our lives and made them so much better with just being you” the norwegian felt this was part of the problem you had the last weeks “... I can't even remember what training was without your laughter and banter with Alexia or your wrestling with María... or how you always “accidently” kick the ball against your sister head...”

“I'm not important” you repeated quietly starting to scratch the back of your hand again

“Who told you that?” Ingrid asked putting the car into Park and you saw now where you were – the norwegian drove you to Camp Nuo... Home of FC Barcelona

“No one...” you said quickly looking outside the window

“Hm... because I tell you right here right now that you ARE important... not only to me” the norwegian grabbed your hand preventing you from scalping your own hand “... to so many people... there are young girls asking us how you are and where you are at meet and greets.. you are a role model just like Alexia, Lucy, Frido, Magda or P...”

“I'm NOT important..” you stressed “... I'm holding you guys back”

“No you don't...” Ingrid said surprised “... why do you think you're holding us back?”

“People see it.... I should've seen it” you stressed your breathing getting quicker again

“Kjæreste... stop” the norwegian said firmly “No... you don't hold us back... you make us so much better... when we don't find a way through a backline – who does Alexia... Alexia Putellas – La Reina... looks too? To you... When Aitana – Ballon d'Or winner – can't get a pass right... who does she come to? To you... And you really want us to believe that Sarina came up with all that brilliant plays before the Euros? No Kjæreste.. we all know who's play it were... yours... but not only on the pitch you are important... off the pitch even more”

“I'm not important” you started to feel your chest tighten

“Come with me...” Ingrid said getting out of the car waiting for you to join her “... Alexia wanted it to be a surprise for the Champions League final...”

The norwegian grabbed your hand leading you over to the entrance of Camp Nuo. There were the pictures of her, Maps, Messi, Aitana.... and you... you in a Barca-kit (to the day you die you'll swear it was photo shopped) looking serious your arms crossed in front of your chest.

“What?” you asked confused

“That's not all... come” Ingrid said pulling you along to a place where all the important players had their own plaque – again... Alexia... Messi... Johan Cryff... Aitana.... and...

Y/n Bronze – Sangre inglesa, corazón blaugrana

“Why?” you asked tears pooling in your eyes

“Because you are just as important as anyone of us... you just need to see it...” the norwegian said softly

“He said I'm holding you back and that he hopes I die soon...” you cried “... I'm not important”

“Oh Kjæreste” Ingrid said gently pulling you against her letting you cry into her jacket

“I thought about it....” you cried feeling Ingrid tightening her arms around you “... I didn't want to hold you back... and then England lost against Sweden in that friendly and it just showed that it was because of me and I don't want to be a burden anymore”

“You, min Kjæreste.... you are not a burden.... you never were you'll never be... you are outstanding amazing... you changed so many peoples live to the better... believe in yourself... believe in your abilities and most important... believe in your system – every single one of us would give a leg for you... I could call P right now in the middle of the night telling her you need her and she'd be on the first flight over... not only P... you have France, Sweden, Norway, Austria, england, Germany, Denmark, Netherlands, united states.... all of them are part of your system Kjæreste... it doesn't matter if you call Magda Eriksson, Wendi Renard, Laura Feiersinger, Megan Rapinoe or Alex Popp... every single one of them would drop everything to come and get you” the norwegian mumbled against your hair “... don't let ONE person drag you down so much.... they are not worth it and you are way above them – and that's what they can't deal with... that you are out of their league”

You cried for a while into Ingrids jacket who just held you pressing soft kisses to your hair once in a while

“Oh thank god and every other holy guy that's out there” Lucy came running down the stairs when Ingrids car pulled into her driveway

“Babe...” Ona sighed “... can you please not run into a driving car”

“She already parked” your sister said flabbergasted

“Give her space” the blonde catalan rolled her eyes seeing how you were slumped into the seat

“She's sleeping” Ingrid said as she got out of her car

“No wonder when she ran from Johan Cryff all the way to the beach” Lucy snorted looking down at you through the window

“Lucy....” the norwegian began and your sister saw the serious look on her teammates face “... it was bad... someone told her she's holding us back and that she hopefully dies soon.... she thought about ending her life tonight...”

“She what?” Lucy stumbled backwards like someone hit her square in the face

“She thought about ending her life...” Ingrid repeated “... she called Leila – I don't know why so don't even ask – but Leila convinced her to come with me... I tell you because I don't want you to bombard her with questions tomorrow morning... just be there for her okay... we ALL need to be there for her... if you can get Georgia here too... she'll need every person who loves her behind her – she promised me to talk to a therapist and we all know talking to therapists means opening up about feelings and for that she'll need us”

“I will... I'll call G later... she's still up anyway waiting for an update...” Lucy said after she processed the information “... thank you Ingrid... I don't know how to thank you for getting my baby sister back”

“You don't need to thank me” the norwegian said “... when she smiles again someday then that's reward enough”

[hansoeii]

Hello! Hope you're having a great day/night! I absolutely adore your art, you are one of my favourite artists. I love the way you shade and do backrounds. Also everytime I get into a new show I immediately see your art for it??

I was wondering if you had any advice on drawing more realistically (backrounds, anatomy etc) but still keeping a style?

Hey hey!

Thank you so much!

I have a pretty good understanding of facial structures, because before I got into drawing more semi-realisticly, I heavily focused on realistic portraits. Here are some example, these are from around 2019!

(yes, I was really into danmei and kpop back then, haha)

I just always loved drawing/painting faces and it was all I did. But at some point I realized that I wanted to do more than that because just portraits felt super restricting. So it took me around 2-3 years to somewhat find my style. Thought it would be fun to show a little timeline! Advice will follow afterwards :)

2020

I began working on my OCs in 2020 and since I didn't have an exact reference to work off of, I struggled a lot. My art from this year is super wonky.

2021

Still wonky, but the Lokius obsession was the jumpstart into finding my style! My work from this year is all over the place haha, I was experimenting a lot.

2022

This first ofmd piece is pretty much the first drawing where you can see where my style is gonna go, which I think is pretty cool! This is the year I made the biggest progress cos I was drawing SO much. These two pieces are only six months apart. The one on the right was the first time I gave drawing a background a proper go, too! It was a good year.

2023

And this is where I am now! I'm still constantly learning and improving, but I'd say I have a style you can recognize now!

Now here comes some actual advice, haha:

What I highly recommend you to do is to study your favorite artists as much as you can! I have like 5 A4 sketchbooks all from 2020 that I filled with sooooo many studies, where basically all I did was look at artists I like and copy how they draw stuff, to try and figure out how to stylize certain things. Some of my favorite artists are Ami Thompson, Velinxi and TB Choi. But I also liked to just scroll through pinterest and study all the art I came across that I liked! For example, if I saw a really great drawing of a pair of pants I would copy it many times in my sketchbook and try to learn how they stylized the folds. Doing this for a prolongued period of time will naturally improve your own work! It'll be difficult at first, but you gotta push through, it's gonna be worth it!

I also highly recommend studying unique faces to try and avoid the same-face syndrome. Find some cool looking people and try to draw them as simple as you can! Maybe even draw a little timeline where you first draw them as cartoon-y as you can, and keep going until you end up with a more detailed, realistic drawing. Maybe in the middle of it you find a step that feels the most fun to you, so you can try to build on that! It's a great way to figure out what kind of style might be the best for you.

Here are some cool faces I found on pinterest!

I have a pinterest board with many more!

One REALLY important part of learning how to draw all kinds of things is to understand forms and shapes and how to manipulate them. I have so many pages in my sketchbook filled with just shapes that I drew from all kinds of angles without any references.

This is a great video on it:

6 Ways to Draw Anything by Proko

Learning how to do this is so crucial! Young artists often think they first have to learn all kinds of detailed anatomy before doing anything else, but all that's gonna do is make you tired and hate drawing. Shapes are where it's at! Once you understand how shapes work and which ones to use for certain parts of bodies or objects, drawing is gonna get so much easier! Once you understand them, you can get into details such as muscles and bones!

And honestly the most important point is to just absolutely love what you're doing! I wouldn't be doing this if it wasn't for the fact that I get extreme hyperfixations on certain media that turn me into some kind of beast where I can suddenly draw 10 detailed illustrations a week, haha. Just be passionate about what you do, find something you REALLY love and go crazy!

I really hope this was somewhat helpful! My inbox is always open if there's any more questions :)

[lavender-bun]

No Air To Breathe

PAIRING | jj maybank x routledge!asthmatic!fem!reader

SUMMARY | Your asthma is acting up and not just a little bit...

WARNINGS | asthma attack, salbutamol overdose, vomiting, jj being a panicking golden retriever bf, angst with happy ending, my bad description of medical stuff (bare with me I tried my best 😭), not proofread cause I'm lazy 😶‍🌫️

A/N | totally did not write this because it happened to me a few days ago haha...yeah I'm better now tho no worries👌🏻

◃◦---------------●--------------◦▹

The moment you woke up and made your way to the bathroom you knew your day wasn't going to be easy as you already felt out of breathe. You didn't thought much of it, grabbing your inhaler from the cabinet above the sink and taking a puff so you could go on with your day.

Some time later you started to feel how hard it was to do simple tasks, even just grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge without using your inhaler seemed impossible right now.

Laying in bed and listening to music you could still hear the others coming into the Chateau after their surf session. You got up and decided to join them in the living room, sitting down on the couch and taking another puff of your inhaler while JJ plopped beside you, instantly worried when he saw it in your hand.

"You alright, sugar?" He asked placing his hand on on your thigh, squeezing a little.

You nodded with a smile. "I'm fine, just feeling a little wheezy today."

JJ is not really convinced of your reassurance but nodded anyways, draping your legs over his lap and turning his attention back to the others who were bickering on who got the best wave.

Later in the evening you seemed to get even worse, your breathing now a lot shorter and your inhaler not really helping anymore. Slowly you started to worry and not only you did, JJ had been keeping an eye on you and to see how now any movement had you overwhelmed had him fidgeting a lot.

"Babe." He tried getting your attention and you lifted your head from his shoulder, looking at him with hooded eyes and your skin paler than usual. "Oh shit, you don't look good at all. I mean, you're still smoking hot but- you know what I mean!"

You chuckled and that was your mistake. You started to have a coughing fit, your breathing even worse now after it subsided.

You let your head fall back against JJ's shoulder, whining in distress and frustration, not understanding what's happening right now. JJ called out for John B, assuming your brother must know what to do, he always does.

A second later John B walked in with a can of beer in his hand. "What's up?"

"I don't know man. She- She can't really move without using this." JJ explained holding your inhaler up.

John B, already in big brother mode, walked over to you both holding your face with both hands, cursing under breath.

"Fuck- how many puffs did you take today kid?" He asked and you shrugged tiredly, not enjoying all those movements at all and your stomach doesn't like it either.

"Bucket..." You mumbled and John B rushed to get you one, just in time when your body wrenched forward to vomit.

"What's happening with her?" JJ asked, trying to keep his cool and holding your hair out of your face while you emptied your stomach.

"She overused her inhaler and now her circulation is fucked up." John B explained, calm as ever and putting the bucket down when you stopped puking. He grabbed his phone next and called for an ambulance, knowing things would get worse if he didn't act fast enough.

John B crouched in front of you, trying to get your attention again which was hard for you as everything seemed to exhaust you, even talking.

"You'll be okay. I called an ambulance, they'll be here soon, yeah?"

You just nodded, closing your eyes to get any type of rest but the boys have to keep you awake.

"Hey, stay with me baby. Just like that. Show me those pretty eyes." JJ smiled at you even when he's practically panicking on the inside and wishing he could just take away your suffering.

Meanwhile Pope, Kie, and Sarah caught up to what happened. All now scattered around the room and anxiously waiting for the ambulance to arrive.

Sure enough the paramedics walked inside the Chateau with Pope explaining what happened and in what state you're in.

JJ was holding you the whole time, comforting you and whispering affirmations in your ear. Just as you expected they have to take you to the hospital to give you proper medication and care there.

As soon as you got an IV drip and a oxygen mask JJ carefully got up with you in his arms, carrying you to the ambulance and gently placed you on the stretcher. He sat down beside you, holding your hand to let you know he's there while the paramedics moved around you.

In the hospital the pogues had to sit in the waiting room, angry that they could only wait for any doctor to tell them if you're fine or not. Even JJ couldn't go with you, only for the ride to the hospital and he almost punched the security guy that held him back from going to see how his girl is doing right now but John B eventually got him to sit down, talking some sense into him.

"Relax, dude. You're not helping her when you get arrested now. I know how this works. They keep her here for a few hours, give her medicine and oxygen, and when her oxygen saturation is better we can take her back home."

JJ nodded, taking his hat off and pulling at some strains of his hair. It kills him not being able to be with you in such a scary moment.

An hour later the doctor came into the waiting room and the pogues instantly sprung up, attacking the poor woman with all kinds of questions.

"Alright, let's calm down first." She told them, looking back at the clipboard in her hand. "So, she's going to be okay. She needs to take these antibiotics for the next ten days. Watch that she's drinking and eating enough because she'll still feel a little weak the next two or three days, so keep an eye on her."

The doctor handed John B the package of antibiotics and told them that they could go and see you now as you're stable again.

You smiled when you saw them rushing inside and to your bed, all of them just so relieved to have your normal self back.

JJ leaned down to give a quick peck to your lips, resting his forehead against yours for a moment.

"You scared the hell outta me..." He said and you reached up caress his cheek with your hand.

"I'm sorry." You pulled back from him. "I just- I thought it wouldn't end like that. I already saw the signs the second I woke up but..." You tried to explain your own stupidity but JJ cut you off.

"It's okay, you don't have to explain anything. You're fine now, that's what matters." He assured you.

"Can we go home now?" You asked and turned your head to your brother.

John B patted your head and nodded. "Sure kid, lemme just get a nurse real quick."

Finally back at the Chateau everyone decided a movie night would be the best to cheer you up and as always they were right, even when you're still not feeling all well you had the sleep that night, knowing your family was with you.

JJ held you the whole night, always on alert when you move just a single muscle, checking if you're alright and getting you everything you asked him for.

You really were blessed with this boy.

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Taglist

For everything:

@lokigirlszendaya @buckymydarlingangel @superlegend216

For JJ Maybank:

@tracymbcm @spideysimpossiblegirl