#i understand his role in the story as generic new order muscle guy

[sketzi]

nothing will ever be greater than the AOAS fandom developing an obsession with Scythe Chomsky in 2020

even better that Neal was absolutely confused as to why people liked him so much! chomsky was such a blank slate, a filler character that i can not even justify as important no matter how much i reach. he just turned into a big joke. He's just so comical. chomsky, with his comically dramatic flamethrower, his comically blonde hair and chiselled frat bro jaw, and dont forget to mention his comically small brain. i dont even want to say WHY he chose his patron historic. why? because Rand chose a rightist, and he wanted to be the leftist. he doesn't even have any opinions.

neal managed to write a character so stereotypical and so overwhelmingly full of nothing that it turned into good writing. every scene with chomsky is a delight to read. reading about him setting stuff on fire, then being proud of himself for doing absolutely nothing were the highlights of the first book. never change, chomsky, never change.

chomsky-ites got so intense that Neal planned on putting a story about him in gleanings, but this tragically never saw the light. so, i know that if i ever meet neal, my first question will be, "What was in the chomsky story?". because if that story has been written, there is still a character in there somewhere.

[ae-azile]

Azile's OC Round Up, Part 3 - Progression OCs.

Since I am actively updating this story, I decided to make the list of my prominent Progression OCs. I will likely add Fern and Milan to part 4.

Vice

Introduced in: Chapter 1 of Progression

Age: 36

Profession: Major Family Bodyguard

Characteristics: hardworking, morally ambiguous, loving brother, quick to feel resentment

Importance: Chay's first sexual partner.

Origin: Ex-cop, orphan. Became a bodyguard to bail his troubled younger brother out of jail. Became enamored by Chay's growing confidence, abilities, and muscles. Despite their age gap and first time being sudden, they slept together a few more times. Chay declined the offer to go out on a date, then slept with Vice's roommate not too long after. This was a problem because Vice has been in a FWB situation with his roommate for a while, so he felt betrayed by both of them.

Sand

Introduced in: Chapter 9 of Progression

Age: 26

Profession: Major Family Bodyguard

Characteristics: Loyal, quiet, friendly, relatively strong moral compass despite job

Importance: Chay's previous sexual partner, the only one he considers a friend.

Origin: Has very little family outside of the compound. Comes from foster care. Took the job for stability and a place to live, stayed for the friendships. Would have been open to dating Chay, but okay with being friends too. They work out together and sometimes have semi-heartfelt conversations. Honestly a pretty good guy.

Lane

Introduced in: Chapter 7 of Progression

Age: 33

Profession: Psychotherapist

Characteristics: Patient, understanding, trustworthy, calm, professional

Importance: Kim's therapist, and she has actually made some strides with him.

Origin: Lane is the older cousin of Tay. She is his mother's sister's daughter. While her immediate family is not directly involved with the mafia, she grew up close enough to Tay to know some of the traumas that occurred. Kinn already knew her and was on good terms with her due to Tay, so he reached out after it became clear Kim needed extensive treatment in order to feel better. Kim genuinely likes her, and would probably not be able to switch to a new therapist easily, or possibly at all.

Malai

Introduced: In Progression, Tankhun mentions visiting her in Chapter 20, and she is introduced in Chapter 22 officially. Versions of her character are also mentioned/included in The Masks Series, Lay Me Down to Sleep, and I Do (Not Understand What's Going On).

Age: 34

Profession: Litigation Paralegal

Characteristics: Kind, ambitious, maternal, excellent multitasker

Importance: Arm's older sister

Origin: Malai as a general character was first introduced in 5, 3, 1, and On, which is a novel length prequel to Giant Dancing Hedgehogs are Nightmare Fuel told solely from Arm's POV. In that, she lives with her younger sisters and is characterized as a hardworking sisterly/motherly figure due to rescuing Arm and the girls from the human trafficking situation they were all in. In this universe, she is more career oriented, but still a motherly figure at heart. She adopted her foster siblings after becoming of age from a really abusive and traumatic household. Arm is six years younger than Malai, but the next oldest and the only boy in their family. He often feels a need to make up for her sacrifices, but she makes them happily. A year before Progression, she had a close friend pass away, leaving behind twin toddler girls. While she balanced the motherly/sisterly role with Arm, Hansa, Nalin, and Preeda, she sees Tida and Priya as her daughters now. She doesn't have much interest in marriage or romance. A history of abuse partially plays into this, but it just isn't her thing. She likes being independent in that regard.

Hansa

Introduced: Chapter 22 of Progression, but versions of her character are also mentioned/included in The Masks Series, Lay Me Down to Sleep, and I Do (Not Understand What's Going On).

Age: 26

Profession: Horticulturist/Florist

Characteristics: Quiet, Non-judgmental, cautious, kind, carries a lot of trauma, but has been doing better

Importance: Arm's younger sister, Pol's love interest.

Origin: Roughly 18 months younger than Arm, Hansa was the person he was closest to growing up. In both this story and in 5, 3, 1, and On (although she had it even harder in 531). But in Progression, they grew up in an extremely abusive home where they were all traumatized, but the foster father took a particular interest in Hansa. Arm is protective of all of his sisters, but particularly her. She has been hurt a lot and struggled with her mental health when she was in her late teens to early twenties, but found solace in gardening and watching things bloom. She wants to find love, but the last time she tried went horribly. Other than Arm, she struggles with feeling comfortable around men. She was surprised to find Pol so friendly, fun, and approachable. Now that Arm and Tankhun are together and reach out more to spend time as a group, they often bring Pol. She actually looks forward to seeing him.

Nalin

Introduced in: Chapter 22 of Progression, but versions of her character are also mentioned/included in The Masks Series, Lay Me Down to Sleep, and I Do (Not Understand What's Going On).

Age: 20

Profession: Robotics Major, student librarian at university library

Characteristics: Highly intelligent, quick witted, smooth, tech-savvy, a romantic deep down.

Importance: Arm's younger sister, Macau's love interest.

Origin: Basically a mini female Arm, but more charismatic. Her main interests lie in further integrating and advancing robotics when it comes to the medical field and to help those living with disabilities live more freely and comfortably in their day to day lives. While she works hard and is a top student at her university, she is occasionally known to have fun. She did meet Macau at a party and had a night with him that felt magical. Is he an idiot for dropping his phone into a grate? Yes. Did she hold a grudge so she wouldn't feel sadness and rejection? Yes. But that's cleared up now, and they have been talking multiple times a day since her brother's party. She doesn't know if Arm will be thrilled about her potentially dating his boyfriend's cousin, and she loves and looks up to her older brother so much. But she likes Macau, so...🤷🏻‍♀️

Preeda

Introduced in: Chapter 22 of Progression, but versions of her character are also mentioned/included in The Masks Series, Lay Me Down to Sleep, and I Do (Not Understand What's Going On).

Age: 18 going on 19

Profession: Gap year. Looking into colleges, having fun until then.

Characteristics: confident, flirtatious, indecisive, attention seeking, challenging, family-oriented.

Importance: Arm's youngest sister

Origin: The youngest of Arm's foster siblings. Despite being the youngest when removed from their abusive situation, she witnessed a lot, which has caused certain rebellions, impulses, and avoidances in her. Her family worries, but keeps communication open. This helps, because she feels free and happy to talk with her siblings and share things with them. Came out as a lesbian at 15 and never looked back. Wishes Arm were more flamboyant and obvious in his own gay-leaning tendencies, so she's glad he's dating Tankhun, who is fabulous.

[maruzzewrites]

(Every breathe you) Take #1

Hello! This is what was supposed to be the April’s Fool fic but I didn’t write it in time. It’s an Actor AU in the “universe” of EBYT. All nice and cool. Not real content warnings.

You looked down at your car’s clock. It was barely late afternoon, maybe he was in class. You let the phone fall onto the passenger’s seat, and continued to drive.

“Cut!”

The director shouts. Your shoulders go lax and the tension melts over your back, making you slump over the fake car seat. You stretch as everyone around starts to walk around, taking props and placing them outside the set. You climb out and look around to see your fellow actors, all gathered somewhere just outside the current scene.

You try to catch up with them, but you are stopped halfway. You almost trip over some cables on the ground when your manager calls you. She rushes to grab your arm, and you can see the burning desire to reprimand how clumsy you can be. She decides against it, yanking you straight and clearing her throat.

“You remember you got an interview today, right?” Her question is simple and, luckily, you do remember. Having an acting role is a new thing to you, especially with the role of the protagonist, and you did mess up a bit at the start. You are so used to minor roles or filling other positions around the set that you needed a bit to pick up the pace.

“Of course,” you answer. You see she is about to speak again, you even know about what: you need to plan what to say and what to omit during this interview. But you really don’t want to think about it, not with the filming being finished for the day. You will catch up later, “I will see you later. I need to do something…”

Before she can protest, you march away towards your colleagues. They’re now outside the building to allow some of them a quick smoke break, and they welcome you in their little circle without any problem. You look at each of them, and you find it hilarious how similar they are to their own characters – without the threatening auras, of course.

“So,” you cross your arms, “do you guys know what to say in this interview?”

 “Excuse me,” One of the reporters raises his hand, a pen between his fingers. You look up at him and ask him to ask whatever he wants. He grins, “Thank you. So, can you tell us anything more about the idea behind this show?”

“Well,” you start and look around the other actors to see if someone wants to speak instead. No one even attempts, so it’s in your hands, “I was said it was supposed to be about normalcy and what it means in a dangerous place. The director has experience with people who are called not so legally to clean at strangers’ houses and wanted to show it more.”

The reporter thanks you for the answer, even seems to want to ask one more, but someone else jump on the occasion to inquiry, “Did you choose it because of the premise? It seemed like a difficult role for a new actor.”

You think about it a bit, “I liked the premise. It’s dark and I don’t know if I can fake falling in love more than being scared. These goons make it rather easy, too.”

You point at them with your thumbs; some of them chuckle, some of them roll their eyes, some seem more embarrassed than anything. You hope you haven’t offended them too bad – it’s not your fault they really look rather menacing at times.

“Means we are good actors,” Formaggio chimes in, grinning like a fox. He turns to you and points a finger, “You too. Sometimes I really think we are intimidating you. The first time you saw Risotto, you looked like you saw a ghost.”

Some of the people in the room giggle at that, while Risotto pouts a little at the observation. The poor man can’t help his appearance or his size, and you came to understand he is one of the calmest and nicest people in that group. To avenge him of this direct insult, you decide to tease Formaggio a bit, “Look who’s talking. You’re the one who looks like he belongs in an actual gang, here.”

The joke makes even the imperturbable Prosciutto crack a smile, along with the sneer from Illuso at Formaggio’s frown. You even see the next reporter barely contain a laugh when she raises her had to speak, “You seem to get along quite well. Do you find it interesting to work with your colleagues on this project?”

The question is general, but you figure you talked enough for all of them. When a second too much of silence lingers, Melone is happy to jump in, “I enjoy it quite a bit! I barely get the opportunity to work with people who are so funny.”

“Really?” Ghiaccio almost yells, before he can reign in his tone. His inside voice is still loud, but it borders a stage whisper, “Because you’re really annoying during breaks. You say the most inane things and we’re supposed to just take it.”

Melone smiles, affable, “As I said, funny. You’re all entertaining. I get why you would become actors!”

Someone in the public clears his throat and then stands up to speak. Doesn’t really wait for his turn, but no one seems to mind besides turning around in their seats to look at him. He asks, “How did you come to accept your parts? You seem like a very varied bunch.”

The others look at each other, then Prosciutto takes the stage, “Formaggio tried for the role before us, then told us about the auditions. I assume we were just the right fit for the characters.”

The reporter nods and then looks at you with expectation. You don’t have quite the same story to them, “I… I just wanted to try for a big role, for once. I was told I had the face for the story, even if now I knows it means being somewhat average.”

A bit of an awkward silence before someone – Melone, specifically – intervenes, “I don’t think you are average or plain. You just give a friendly vibe.”

You smile at him just when Illuso decides to speak up, “That’s a nice way to say homely.”

He gains a light punch in the arm since he is sitting right next to you, which makes him chuckle and pretend to fall over on his chair. Ghiaccio, sitting at his other side, shoves him almost violently when they are close to touching. Risotto tells them to calm down.

“Do you have anything to tell us about the future of the show?” A reporter takes advantage of the ruckus to ask before anyone else can. He looks at every actor for a handful of seconds each before elaborating, “Fans really want to know what’s coming up in the near future.”

You ponder on answering that one question. You don’t let anyone chime in before you take your decision, explaining, “I don’t think we can reveal too much, but what’s coming is probably obvious. You know about stories with gangs. There may be something surprising to it, maybe.”

The reporter nods and waits patiently. You just shoot him a kind smile and you can almost see the disappointment coloring his face. You were told not to speak too much about the future plot, direct orders from the director and your manager – who was very eager to let you know how much you needed to shut your mouth.

The reporter evidently knows when to drop it because he doesn’t prob further. The rest of the interview goes smoothly, with jokes and teasing, with answered questions. People are really curious about the show despite being so grim, but you appreciate the fans.

At the end of the whole thing, you wonder what you will read the following days in online articles from those reporters.

 “Have you seen the new theories? People are really quick to take every ounce of info they can get from exclusives.” Melone scrolls his phone right before leaving it inside the pockets of his jacket, ready to put on his outfit.

You hum in response, too busy rereading the script for the episode. You hope you will finish quickly so that you go somewhere and eat with your colleagues – it’s been a while since your last lunch together. It may or not be because you end up giggling during the most tense scenes, during the first few takes.

Melone leaves you alone, wishing you good luck for the first scene of the day. You take a deep breath and replay it in your mind, trying to visualize it.

Going back home after a stressful day. After having to play a game of cat and mouse with dangerous men, wanting nothing more than a doll in their hands. You feel the tension harden your muscles, your shoulders and back stiff with anxiety.

You are a cleaner dealing with something too big for you, and you return to that house.

[hit-me-with-a-ladle]

This is Ch.2 for my creepypasta story.

Now this is the second chapter to my story and its description can be found in my blog, i manly update on wattpad does i still will be putting these chapters on tumblr (not as frequently doe :/). so yeah have fun and hope u like it.

A sharp pain was the first thing felt by the girl the moment she woke up from her coma. Laying on a dirty, ruined couch, she put a hand on her head and softly groaned. At that moment she heard the light murmur of male-sounding voices near her and tensed up. She was confused and dazed. She didn't know where she was or why she was there. Not knowing what to say or do she just overheard their conversation, hoping they wouldn't notice she was awake.

" I-I don't know what the-they were thin-king, bringing a young h-human girl to be the next middle-m-man. A-a-are the elite becoming that desper-des-desperate?" One of the men said. He sounded considerably young, around eighteen years old. The boy appeared to have a stutter. His voice was also soft, almost sounding more like a whisper than anything else though still audible. ' What is he talking about?' The girl thought to herself, her train of thought was abruptly stopped by another voice speaking up.

"I don't think it's smart to doubt the elite's decision Toby, even so, she seems to hold some attributes required in a middleman." A monotone voice spoke. A soft "yeah" was soon hear from one of the men and it sounded forced. Then a bone-chilling chuckle came from the same monotone man. "What's so funny?" One of the men spat, their voice was deep and husky. "Well if you must know," The other man said sounding amused "It's kind of funny that out of all of us you should know just how capable she is." He rudely remarked snickering. The other man seemed to growl under his breath "Wasn't she the one that knocked you down and stabbed you in the leg?" The monotone man finally said in a provocative tone.

"Well, now you're just begging me to kick your ass." The irritated man spoke in anger and stood up but promptly cringed from the shooting pain from the injury to his leg and sat down. "I'd like to see you try," The monotone man replayed amused by his comrade's actions. The irritated man was about to say something when another voice spoke up, "Can you guys stop fighting already, I mean there's an unconscious girl in the living room that we have to prepare for her inevitable death." A boy said, he also sounded young similar to the first man, but this time his voice was much louder and sounded naval.

When overhearing what the boy said, she loudly gasped in shock without thinking, that seemed to catch the men's attention and they quickly went quiet. The atmosphere was so tense you could cut it with a knife. An awkward and unbearable silence fell upon everyone. But soon it was ended by the rattling of chairs getting put aside and the pattering of loud footsteps approaching the room she was in. Not knowing what to do, panic was the only thing she could feel at that moment. As she laid there, not moving a muscle the first that spoke was the man in a white mask.

"So now you choose to wake up? Took you long enough." He said to her annoyed, she looked at his masked face and then looked around the room. It seemed to be a log cabin by the walls being constructed from wood, and by the general look of it, it was pretty big. The couch she was on was in a rather rough shape, and right across from it was a scratched up wooden coffee table. Then she noticed one of the men resting on an armchair in a similar state as the couch she was on. He seemed to be looking right at her, though it was hard to tell from the blue mask that covered his face.

"Where am I? And who are you, people?" The girl spoke in a harsh tone trying to seem strong, though, in reality, she was terrified, and the men appeared to notice. "Aren't you a snarky one? But don't try to act tough or else." The man in the feminine mask said boredly. "Now, as for who we are, my name is Timothy Wright, but you will call me Masky." He hardly spoke while pointing to himself. The girl scanned him from head to toe and noticed that one of his legs was wrapped in a now blood-stained bandage. 'Did I hurt him that badly? Well serves him right.' She thought while glaring at him. "That guy over there," He continued and pointing to the tall man sitting on the armchair with his legs crossed, "Is Jack or as he's better known, Eyeless Jack." The man, named Jack nodded his head in her direction. "That shorty over there." This time he pointed to a short boy whit blond hear leaning on the door frame to the room, "Is Benjamin Lawman or Ben Drowned." Ben waved at her and smiled, but the smile was more creepy than anything else. "And lastly," Masky said while pointing to a boy with orange-tinted goggles " That's Tobias Erin Rogers or Ticci Toby." The boy then spoke up, "Ju-just call me T-toby."

"You're in your new home." He emphasised. "Here you will live till the day you die. Now, as for your purpose, you have been assigned the role of a middleman from now on." He said while looking at her dead in the eyes. "You're kidding, right? Is this some sick joke? A middleman? What even is that? You must be insane if you think I'll believe you." She responded hysterically while frowned and glaring at the man even harder than before and crossed her arms. "Oh, but you will, you don't have a chose in the matter." The masked man responded, looking at the girl sternly, he then sighed "I guess I should explain your new job shouldn't I." What he said sounded more like a statement than a question, and he carried on explaining.

"You will be the middleman of this forest," He said while pointing to the windows and sure enough, on the outside, there was a forest ' How didn't I notice that before?' The girl asked herself. "You have the job as negotiator, judge, executioner, errand boy and among some other things. But that won't be as easy as it sounds, because in this forest reside evil monster, creatures, demons, killers and different mythical being. Things that you humans thought were only in legends and tales." He said that as if he'd said it a million time before and continued "Now, we four were ordered," He moved to point around the room, gesturing to the men. "To get you and bring you here. So in the range of the next six months, we can teach you everything you need to know about being a middleman and how to do it right. At the end of those six months, you will go thru a four-stage test that will prove just how much you have learned, but if you were to fail, you will get executed. Do you understand?" He finally finished while looking at her and tilted his head. The girl was baffled and couldn't believe what she heard, better said she didn't want to believe it.

"You can't be serious right? I mean do you expect me to accept everything you just said as fact" The girl protested while immediately standing, "I don't know who you think you are, but I'm certainly not staying here any longer." And as she was about to head for the door, Jack suddenly spoke up. "And where will you go? You don't have any clue where you even are. Do you think you can just go out of this forest like that? Well, I'm sorry for ruining your parade, but that's not going to happen." He responded to her in his usual bored voice that seemed to be laced in a thin veil of sarcasm. 'He has a point,' She thought while looking at him. 'But it can't be that hard to leave a forest, right?' She reassured herself. "Oh, and another thing, this isn't a normal forest. No, it's a portal between the human world and underworld." He smirked through his mask when he noticed the girls face turn pale, "Though it doesn't look like it, you are in a branch of hell, and the only way to get to the human world is by knowing where the portal is, and we certainly won't be telling you of its location anytime soon." He remarked this time in a way that was much more malicious, almost seeming like he wanted to make her mad or provoke her.

But the girl didn't budge 'Is what he's saying true? I hope it's not, but I can't afford not believing him.' Still not moving from the place she was standing, she glanced down, "Why me?" She said, defeated. Those two words seemed to catch the men off gourd. " W-well," The boy named Toby spoke up. "You we-were chosen b-b-by the Elite." He said softly. "Who are the elite? And what do you mean by they "chose me"." The girl was quick to ask. "The El-elite are four o-o-of the strongest creatures in the underworld, they are the on-ones that choose the midd-middlemen for every branch and reg-ion of hell." Toby said, "We were als-also told m-m-many thi-things about you, your n-n-ame, hobbies, what you aspired to b-be, your dark-est secret, and mu-much more." He finished. "Better said we know everything bout you, Y/N." The boy named Ben stated calmly while smiling. Hearing her name come out o his mouth sent shivers down her spine.

The girl collapsed on the couch in defeat and put her arms to her head, 'Is everything that they're saying genuine? It can't be, can it?' She was in a state of dread and didn't want to belive what they were saying. 'I need to calm down, there has to be a way out of here somehow, and I'll find it.' She kept reassuring herself." Now, as I was saying, we four will be teaching you everything you need to know," Masky spoke up again with his hands behind his back." Your room is upstairs to the left. You should get as much sleep as possible we will start training tomorrow at nine-thirty am," He said while looking into the girl's eyes, "Do NOT be late, or else." He finished while going near the front door of the cabin, "Oh, and don't even try to escape, someone will be standing guard to make sure you don't." And with that, he and everyone else left. She was left alone whit her thoughts in the empty cabin,

'I should go and check out my room shouldn't I, maybe I'll find a way out.' and with that, she went upstairs.

[fanficsforheartandsoul]

GREMLIN AU

@smhalltheurlsaretaken has motivated me to draw some Grandpa Yoda stuff and god, I just came up with some new things that are definitely canon now because I decided so, don’t @ me. 

Also I don’t give a shit about canon in general, Yoda is a grumpy gremlin now, whose ears are like Stitch’s from Lilo & Stitch, and the clones are his sons. End of discussion. 

Grumpy Grandpa Yoda™ living with his children who take care of him later, they age like normal people and it’s just a happy funny family AU:

Yoda lives with 10 clones he was able to save on Dagobah

There’s a lot of mud and swampy stuff and creatures and the clones HATE IT

At least at the beginning, later the begin to love it and I can guarantee you there are sooooo many mud fights - Yoda disapproves

Yoda takes Commander Gree, Draa and Buzz (Doesn’t make any sense I know but who cares bitch) and other soldiers from the 41st Stormtrooper Legion with him

Hades, Ace, Eli, Beetle, Fox, Rook and Essi 

together with the other three and the gremlin they build a big family

they build some rather crude houses but there not exactly architects, right?

Later, they get better and all of the clones have an individual hut

The distance between the clones and the former grandmaster of the Jedi order seems like a giant canyon at the beginning and they call Yoda “Sir” for a few years

until the clones play a game of truth or dare and one of them is dared to make the Jedi change his sad demeanor for once

Yes, they play games

A lot actually

It’s like they’re finally having their childhood and puberty although the look like adults

imagine 10 grown ass men racing through the swamps of Dagobah

The Jedi has been mourning for the Jedi, the knights, the padawans, the younglings for a long time and the clones know

They see the absent-minded gremlin stare outside the window and they feel sad too

after all they do know how it feels to loose trusted friends and companions although not in that big capacity like the Jedi purge

But well back to the dare 

one of the clones, Ace, is seriously thinking about how to make the little dude smile or at least shock him and he’s wracking his brain because never before has he seen the Jedi master surprised

so how is he gonna do it?

one evening, after everyone went to bed and the Jedi draped the bed sheets over him with the help of the force, he has an image before his eyes

and the next morning when there’s a heated discussion over who becomes the last jelly pudding, Ace blurts out “Grandpa should decide!”

and everyone just stops

Grell who gave Buzz a head nut is just turning and looking at him

Draa paused his spoon mid air, mouth wide open

Hades and Fox just blink, the latter still in a headlock

Eli almost dies because he choked on his milk

The other three who dozed at the table are suddenly wide awake

and then a voice says: “The pudding, Rook should get” and all heads turn

Master Yoda is smiling softly and the bois suddenly have the feeling of “must protect this gremlin” and from that they on they just call him “Grandpa”

Not without teasing Ace to death first, obviously

A lot of jokes get thrown around

“Now that I think about it, I see the resemblance.” “We have the same face, you idiot.” 

Only Grell is a hesitating and just calls him “Yoda” but secretly he likes to say it too

They wear their armor for a long time before they finally take it off, mainly because they’re scared of the Empire finding them 

They want to be ready for battle any time

But then Yoda takes off his Jedi robes and the boys gradually relax and take of their helmets and armor too

Now the get stung a lot by mosquitos

And the bois discover that the gremlin likes to eat a lot of disgusting things

But the mosquito problem gets solved so no one is complaining

Yoda changes a lot

He shows his emotions more and sometimes even loses his patience

His walking stick becomes a weapon for head nuts

Grell gets a lot of them because he always tries to help him but

“Not that old, I am, boy!” 

“Alone, I could’ve done that, Grell.”

He plays with the bois

The often play a ball game where Yoda lets the ball float and the guys try to catch it without being hit in the face

The current count is 142 to 19 with Grandpa clearly winning

Rook is a fucking sewing machine and they soon get to wear custom clothes

He knits a super long and super heavy scarf for Yoda because he “worries that Grandpa will be cold in the winter”

The scarf is literally 3 meters long and I guarantee you that the clones have to unwrap him like toilet paper every evening

Rook is right, Yoda is cold in winter and his bones hurt a lot more

One time Yoda forgot his walking stick and Buzz just straight up holds his hand and walks with him like a toddler

Few years later, when he’s even older and a little wobbly on his feet, Fox and Eli like to carry him around on their backs

Beetle, the absolute crackhead, carries him like a baby

Grandpa always complains but he secretly likes it because the child isn’t a stone hard washboard like the others

They send holograms to Obi-Wan, the responsible uncle and Hades’ beard role model, and the Jedi has questioned the gremlin’s choices so many times already because of the weird ass pictures

Obi-Wan sends them holograms of little Luke in return and the bois are LIVID, because “OUR COUSIN, LOOK AT HIM WADDLE, GUYS”

The clones and Yoda go on holiday trips - which are basically just visiting another swamp on Dagobah

So many puns and inside jokes

“WHAT are you doing in my swamp?”

“GET OUT OF MY SWAMP!”

Laughing

so much laughing

And dirty jokes

Only out of Yoda’s earshot though

The boys grow up, ok?

Eli is good at drawing

He’s the one who painted most of their armor and their battle ships

But for Sith’s sakes he can’t draw Yoda at all

His pictures still hang on the fridge tho

And all kinds of other stuff hangs there too

Yoda’s hut has all sorts of trinkets everywhere

All of them were gifted to him by the boys and some of them are just some sort of weird metal that “looked shiny or nice”

But the Grandpa loves them SO MUCH

When Yoda gets older, his hearing gets a lot worse and his ear muscles deteriorate which is why he’s constantly walking around with flabby ears

The boys have to repeat their sentences 

When the gremlin doesn’t like what he’s hearing he’s just pretending he can’t understand them but Grell KNOWS

When he meditates too long or sits too long without eating, the boys force him to eat something

mostly frogs - he likes them a lot

They make sure he brushes his teeth because that frog smell nasty

and they brush his hair, but it’s mostly Grell because he can ignore the gremlin’s attitude when it comes to taking care of himself

Yoda makes Obi-Wan send pictures of some locals on Tatooine, trying to subtly set the boys up

They aren’t Jedi after all

A little happiness, they deserve, hoho

The boys find it funny but never try to contact the person because it’s too dangerous

This makes Yoda sure that half of them are gay

Not that he minded

They just have an embarrassing talk about the bees, and Adam and Steve

And he’s telling them the story of “Jal and Argo” some members of his species he met on a little moon and yada yada yada

MAKER, he loves to tell stories

The ears of the clones almost start to bleed, he talks so long and loud - he can’t hear his voice properly sometimes and starts to randomly YELL

But they like to listen, although half of them are always asleep at the end

and receive head buts when grumpy Grandpa notices

But he never hits them hard, especially not Beetle

He seriously worries about that guy

“make sure he doesn't lose any more brain cells, I have to”

But the clone’s head is really hard so might as well be fine

BONUS: ugly ass 10 minute sketches

YODA’S SPECIES HAS THE CAPABILITY TO MOVE THEIR EARS LIKE STITCH, I DON’T ACCEPT ANYTHING ELSE

[gabriel-gabdiel]

Youtou Shinnoken: Demon Sword Chapter 58: Living Sin (Part 10)

The B-Class Toguro fights the S-Class Yusuke Urameshi before unleashing a power beyond the one he had before he died.

Tenro, the reincarnation of Makoto Shishio, finally makes an appearance and wreaks havoc against all the Reikai Senshi before facing off against the man who killed him originally: Kenshin Himura.

The original source of this idea comes from Chad Yang. I continued his story idea found here.

The rest of the chapters of my Yuyu Hakusho and Rurouni Kenshin crossover fan fiction are available here and here. Enjoy.

First | Previous | Next (Youtou Shinnoken) | Next (Demon Sword)

About a hundred years or so ago...

In 1878, after fighting Kenshin "Battousai" Himura to a draw, Makoto Shishio died in a literal blaze of glory (through his own spontaneous combustion when his overheating body broke its limits) and went to Hell.

When he got there, he ended up right before the imposing, gigantic figure of Enma Daio, who asked him, "What are you doing here, mortal? Go back to the Gates of Judgment in order to be judged."

Shishio then replied, "Get out of my throne. I'm the new King of Hell."

***

Youtou Shinnoken: Demon Sword

A Rurouni Kenshin/Yuyu Hakusho Crossover Fan Fiction Story by Chester Castañeda

Original Concept by Chad Yang

Tenro has finally arrived in Okushiri. How will the Reikai Senshi answer his challenge, especially after learning the truth about him?

Disclaimer: Yuyu Hakusho is the rightful property of Yoshihiro Togashi, Shueisha, Fuji TV, and Studio Pierrot. Rurouni Kenshin is the rightful property of Nobuhiro Watsuki, Shueisha, Shonen Jump, Viz, Sony Studios, Fuji TV, Studio Gallop, Studio Deen, and ADV. This disclaimer also covers all the other copyrighted materials that are far too many to mention here. Don't sue me please, I'm very poor.

***

Chapter 58: Living Sin (Part 10)

***

Back at the Okushiri Military Base...

A shouting, crying Yahiko kneeled in front of Botan's unmoving body, seeing the huge hole in Botan's person.

A hole in the shinigami who somehow was also his kendo master from a former life, Kaoru Kamiya  (he didn't quite understand it).

Had he failed again? Like before, when Enishi Yukishiro...?

No. He would not let Kaoru down again. Not after what the Kenshingumi had been through right after Kenshin Himura died and...!

"Bloody Rain," said Yumi Komagata, who again made it rain blood mixed with what seemed like scalpels.

Right above the dark clouds filled with the scarlet squall were Houji Sadojima's shikigami (familiars) that looked like grim reapers in and of themselves due to their ragged clothes, faceless voids covered by hoods for heads, and long scythes.

And beyond them was Gatekeeper Itsuki, who had a mini-gun at the ready in order to test the limits of a solidified ghost body before it became incorporeal once more. Knowing that gunpowder had no spirit energy for Yahiko to neutralize.

"DOU GAMI! (GOD ON EARTH!)" Yahiko's earth-shattering technique blasted away the razor-sharp precipitation and Itsuki's suppressive fire into oblivion, allowing him to dissipate the slicing rain bullets around him and the soul-crushing pressure of the borrowed aura of the Onmyouji (Occult Priest).

"Insolent welp...!" Houji said the thing.

"TEN GAMI! (GOD IN HEAVEN!)" Myojin shouted as he did a much more powerful version of the God on Earth that shot him up high into the heavens. Even the nimbus clouds parted from the strength of his slash.

This rocked and shook the military base like an earthquake while the Tokyo Samurai Descendant himself approached the Onmyouji like the resulting tsunami of such an earthquake.

"INGA GAMI! (KARMIC GOD!)"

It was this technique that suddenly turned the poisonous miasma of the Overfiend into something else. Something filled with positive energy and life-giving, nourishing soul power.

Sanosuke Sagara then noticed how the crimson, purple, and black miasma of jaki surrounding them changed in color, texture, and volume. Flickering back and forth from a cool blue wave to a scarlet mess.

He then checked on Botan, only to gasp in surprise despite being a ghost that didn't need to breathe or have sudden oxygen intakes.

The hole in her chest caused by one of Itsuki's black holes had begun healing. The jaki surrounding them, as Sano suspected, was slowly being purified into reiki, which in turn the ferry-girl used to heal herself.

Not only herself, actually. She shared the wealth by beaming the spirit energy she absorbed unto Kazuma Kuwabara and Sanosuke too. Replenishing their depleted spiritual power and increasing their health at the same time.

A full restore for all her allies, if you would.

'What's going on here? Is this Yahiko's doing? Or hers?'

It was actually both.

Yahiko neutralized the overpowering potency of the Chojin's jaki just short of making it altogether disappear. Botan then purified the weakened negative energy into reiki she used to heal herself and the others while also powering them up, as though she filled the role of the Onmyouji for the Reikai Senshi (Spirit World Warriors).

Meanwhile, Kuwabara and Botan exchanged knowing glances.

They'd gone through this incident before. To be more specific, they witnessed Yusuke do the same thing Yahiko (and Kaoru) attempted to do firsthand.

It was when Urameshi got a hold of the Meikai Crystal and attempted to use it against the last Meikai God standing, Yakumo. The negative energy almost consumed him before his sheer willpower (and at the time hidden demonic lineage) turned the jaki into reiki instead.

Yahiko had decided it was easier to weaken the Chojin's overwhelming negative energy so that Kaoru could turn it into positive (spirit) energy instead of attempting to neutralize or seal it all at once.

The tag team of Yahiko and Kaoru allowed them to replicate what Yusuke himself did alone.

Break it down to its core components first, bit by bit.

The samurai boy then said, "BANZEN GAMI. (PERFECT GOD.)"

***

"Great fighters refuse to lose, but you refuse to win just to get back that feeling and exhilaration of conquering something greater than you. So what do you do now that you're in a world where nothing is greater than you?"

Those were Younger Toguro's words even as Yusuke Urameshi effortlessly tanked through and walked down his offense while blasting him to nigh-oblivion with the Renshya Rei-Gan (Rapid-Fire Spirit Gun).

'What the hell was that supposed to mean?!' Yusuke thought.

Was Toguro Ototo right? Had Urameshi become too powerful? Was he holding back his power level in order to drag out fights he would've easily won otherwise, thus endangering the lives of those he protected?

Ha. As if.

Those words truly did sound deep. They'd sound even deeper and more meaningful if said by a guy who wasn't getting his ass kicked care of him.

If that were true, he would've already hunted down and killed the Chojin himself. He wasn't even the most powerful being in Makai (Demon World), let alone all three worlds. He was a level below the likes of Mukuro and Yomi as well as his deceased ancestor/father figure Raizen.

Not to mention Raizen's old comrades having power levels so high they could band together and conquer both the Human and Spirit Worlds if they so chose.

No, instead of it being a case of Yusuke growing too ridiculously powerful, it was instead a matter of Toguro remaining stagnant and weak by comparison.

The martial artist who belonged to the "baby boomer" generation might've been powerful for a demon not trapped in Makai and blocked off by the Spirit World Barrier. However, he was a pissant compared to the likes of the monsters Urameshi eventually faced in the Demon World Unification Tournament.

On top of all that, Yusuke didn't want to hear that nonsense from the King of Holding Back. The Emperor of Power Percentages.

"Rando's Kugai (World of Suffering) is a low-level technique used by monks to empathically feel the pain and suffering of those around them. The fact that you're still suffering from its effects isn't because of its curse but because of how you reacted to it."

Yusuke frowned. Indeed, for quite sometime since his fight with Rando, every punch he threw at his opponents he also felt. For once, he found out what it was like to get punched by himself.

However, it also served as his training. The more he felt his own punches, the more resistant he became of his own power, thus raising his threshold of pain and his ability to take a punch. He could dish it out and take it.

He wasn't sure he could say the same about Toguro.

His ripcord muscles strained to their utmost, the Younger Toguro ended up having his muscle fibers ripped apart, cracked, and shattered like pottery. The anabolic state he used to grow his muscles to absurd sizes ended up completely wasted because he couldn't handle A-Level to S-Level bursts of power.

Yusuke nevertheless conceded one point to Toguro: The teenager did miss staking his life and limb to defeat an enemy, using all his strength to defend his friends and family.

He hadn't really done so lately. Not really. The last time he had a satisfying match was against Yomi.

Ever since then, his enemies mainly resorted to trickery reminiscent of Kido Asato freezing him with his shadow powers or Hiei kidnapping Keiko Yukimura to defeat him.

All of the Chojin's Shin Ju ended up as weaklings compared to Urameshi. Each and every one of them. To go against them with his full powers would be a waste of effort.

Like lighting a candle with a flamethrower or cutting grass with a chainsaw. Complete overkill.

Then again, wasn't this also the reason why Toguro, even though he was only B-Level, tended to hide his power level or only use a percentage of his power?

Huh. They were more alike than he thought.

***

Botan smiled in spite of herself. Or rather, her lips curved upward on their own and then said things not of her own volition due to her astral body's second inhabitant: Kaoru Kamiya.

"There it is. The Perfect God. That's Yahiko's answer to mastering the Mujinken."

A hundred years or so ago, Kaoru originally taught Yahiko the Tenchijinken (forethought-based techniques involving the prediction of an opponent's moves) and taught Yutaro Tsukayama the Mujinken (reflex-based techniques that reacted to whatever the opponent did in the heat of the moment) to fill in their respective weaknesses.

The two were actually more suited for each other's techniques, since Yahiko fought more off-the-cuff while Yutaro fought more methodically.

She intentionally sealed away the techniques that played to the two's strengths so that they could overcome their weaknesses with the opposite techniques, believing that someday they'd figure out how to do each other's ultimate attacks down the line anyway.

While the Inga Gami showed Yahiko's version of methodical fighting (with him focusing on every counterstrike to unleash the best counters without any wasted movement or energy), it was the instinctual Banzen Gami that showed his fullest potential.

Yahiko was more of a natural with the Perfect God than the Karmic God. It was the opposite for the more thoughtful Yutaro (who now went by the name and identity of Natsuki Shinkai/Xinhai).

"INSECT!" sneered Houji, his wide eyes glowing red, his voice booming like thunder as he produced what seemed like an endless stream of shikigami. Only for Myojin to seemingly cut and disintegrate them with a couple of reflexive waves of his sakabatou.

He wasn't even looking at the reapers as every reflexive slice of his blunt sword blew them apart and sent them to oblivion, his gaze aimed solely at Sadojima

The miasma of black jaki turned into white and blue shining reiki as Myojin neutralized it and Kaoru converted it into pure reiki. Once he reached Houji, their respective weapons clashed, the entire area split between the morning light colors from behind Yahiko and the pitch-black darkness from behind Sadojima.

It was like the clash of day and night, with the point of impact serving as their dusk or dawn. Twilight or daybreak.

To Houji's alarm, his scythe then started to crack and break. 'What the HELL is with this stupid brat!? I thought our only real threats are the Youkiri Battousai and Urameshi Yusuke! Chojin-sama, HELP!'

***

Instead of going down from the barrage of Rei-Gan shots, Toguro merely said, "Stop wasting energy," as though Yusuke left the light or electric fan turned on or something.

To Yusuke's surprise (or perhaps disappointment), the B-Class Toguro reacted to the Spirit Gun bombardment the exact same way as he did during the Ankoku Bujutsukai (Dark Martial Arts Tournament): By attempting to charge at the growing spirit energy bullets to stop them with his bare hands and feet as well as his purely anabolic, hugely muscular body.

And just like that, it was over. With Toguro face down on the ground, his body shattered and torn from its exploded musculature. A tall, lean husk of its former self.

Another one bit the dust. Like the rest of Yusuke's revived enemies that came back stronger because of the Chojin but not quite strong enough to take him on.

To Yusuke's mild surprise, Toguro was still "alive".  Or this revived zombie version of himself made by the Chojin's own personal Dr. Frankenstein was still moving.

The muscleman mercenary then said, "I'm merely at B-Level and I was able to push you this far? Your fighting senses have dulled, Urameshi Yusuke."

"Oh really? Well, I've discovered that at this point, no one could beat me but myself. You're welcome to prove me wrong, though," said Yusuke.

Again, Urameshi pulled something right out of Toguro's playbook. They both looked down on people who weren't on their level.

Toguro looked up at the night sky, which rekindled his memories. The Shichousei (Death Omen Star, also known as the Lifespan Star, Jumyoboshi, Alcor, or 80 Ursae Majoris) wasn't present near the Big Dipper.

"I can't see the Shichousei in the heavens."

"W-What are you talking about, Toguro? Have you gone cuckoo?"

Legend had it that when two warriors fought to the death under the Star of Death and it shone upon one of them, that person would die.

Was the star missing because he was already dead? Or because this wasn't much of a death match?

Fine. He'd turn this match into a death match then.

On the other hand, other Japanese myths and legends alleged that when a person couldn't see the Lifespan Star, he'd pass away within a year. That was appropriate since Toguro himself was not alive anymore.

Thusly, every broken bone from his body reset and healed, but instead of going back to normal, they formed sharp calcified bone spurs that protruded right out of his craggy, callused body like horns or thorns.

"...I knew it! You still had another form after 100%, you son of a bitch! CHOU REI-GAN! (MEGA SPIRIT GUN!)"

As Toguro got a power boost from the way his body decided to recover from his injuries, he punched back the Chou Rei-Gan Yusuke fired at his changing form before punching the teenager as well with his bone spur claws on his fist right at the moment of impact, quadrupling its effect.

He just jumped from Class-B to Class-A in a mere second.

"Ooof!" The world-stopping punch emptied the air from Yusuke's lungs.

"My former 100% has actually become less than a percentage point of my power, but for the sake of giving you a point of reference, I'll base my power increases on what was 100% of my power."

He grew about as big as his 100% of 100% form, perhaps even a little bigger, but this time around the demonized behemoth's black hair turned as grey as steel along with the rest of his vascular body that was covered with huge bony protrusions.

"So you can call this form of mine as me at 500% of my power."

"Whatever! HYAKU RETSU-KEN! (HUNDRED RENDING FISTS!)"

Appropriately enough, the attack Yusuke then used in response to Toguro's transformation was one he saw on television from his favorite anime show as a child of the 1980s, "Hokuto no Ken (Fist of the North Star)".

The Shichousei or Death Omen Star was, after all, also referenced by the same program.

Honestly, it was just Urameshi going ham on an opponent by randomly striking his heavy-handed punches at every opening available to him, with him naming the "technique" after the fact.

***

The devastation of the Okushiri Military base extended outward, with the pairs of Kazuma and Yumi as well as Sanosuke and Itsuki traveling eastward in a trail of devastation that followed Yahiko's own blaze of glory.

The green comet that was the Tokyo Samurai Descendant clashed and burned through the spherical cloud of miasma protecting Sadojima, like a shooting star entering the atmosphere.

The two pairs of enemies fought tooth and nail for proper positioning. The Reikai Senshi pushed the Chojin's forces back to protect Myojin from their interference.

Sanosuke punched through everything Itsuki threw at him from his hyperdimensional portals and busted portal gun. Sano also dodged the dense scattershot black holes and threw pavement debris at the Gatekeeper for good measure.  

Meanwhile, Kazuma fought from afar using his blade that can literally cut through anything and anywhere in order to slash apart every attempt of the wind vampire Yumi to blast tornadoes and energy-absorbing jaki at him.

Finally, Myojin himself struck the Chojin's (and at this point, it was the Chojin controlling the Onmyouji) scythe hard, the blade covered in miasma and dark energy.

The tides of battle then turned.

Using the jaki Kaoru purified into reiki, Yahiko's green aura became denser and denser, creating a white shining void at the center of his body that sucked the darkness of the Chojin away. Acting like a reverse black hole or even white hole that absorbed all of the Overfiend's darkness into his pure light.

'This is it, Botan,' thought Kaoru "telepathically". 'This is the power of Mu (Void). The power of emptiness.'

'Emptiness...?' repeated the ferry-girl.

'Yes. A true martial artist is able to fight with instinct, freeing his mind of all thought and distractions, leading to a Zen State. Yahiko manifested this Zen State into his unique skill: Neutralizing spiritual energy.'

A second later, all energy from everyone dissipated, and from there Houji's scythe shattered like glass as both he and Yahiko plummeted into the docks of the Okushiri Pier.  

The samurai spirit fell into Ryu Tsui Sen (Dragon Hammer Flash) stance and slammed Sadojima into one of the metal crates of the pier below them with an emphatic crash.  

"You stupid kid! I'll show you! ETERNAL...! Wait, what?! My powers are gone!"

Yumi Komagata attempted to do the Hi-Ougi (Hidden Art) of Vampire Martial Arts—a move stronger than the energy-sapping Blood Wind—but nothing of the sort manifested before her. Her aura, the energy she gathered from sucking many a soldier's blood, had disappeared.

The same happened to Itsuki, who couldn't summon his Reverse-Man or escape into his pocket dimension any longer.

Yahiko's reiki had also went out, which normally was dangerous for a ghost but he somehow reached homeostasis with the way he cancelled out the Chojin's jaki.

His dense green aura had now completely neutralized the powers of everyone near him instead of merely mitigating their flow, including the now unconscious Onmyouji.

Like how no light could escape the event horizon of a black hole, not one shadow of the Chojin's dark energy could exist amidst the blinding green light of Yahiko's converging spiritual aura.

However, as a consequence, even Yahiko's allies lost their powers as well, as though he was acting as the reverse version of the Onmyouji. Instead of boosting the powers of those in his vicinity, he nullified them.

Regardless, Sanosuke and Kuwabara immediately took advantage of the loss of powers from Itsuki and Yumi with their physical strength, with the former beating Itsuki to a pulp and Kuwabara breaking the umbrella and fan of Komagata bareheaded before tackling and pinning her down.

"Give it up, lady. You lost," said Kuwabara. "You can't cheat your way out of this one by resurrecting your goons every time we defeat them. Your precious Onmyouji's down for the count."

Yahiko "heaved" a sigh of relief despite being a solidified ghost who didn't need to breathe. "It's finally over."

Botan giggled in glee. "We did it! You did it! The number one pupil of Kamiya Kasshin! I'm so proud of you, Yahiko!" The last few parts of that statement was Kaoru talking.  

Sano looked at his own bloody fists and winced. 'We've won, but why do I feel like it's not yet over? Like there's still something afoot.'

Even though the blood from his right fist wasn't his own but Itsuki's, it burned and ached something fierce. Like he broke his hand or something. 'What's going on? I have a bad feeling about this.'

Sanosuke's bad feeling then turned into reality.

***

At Class-A, Yusuke Urameshi's Hyaku Retsu-Ken would've turned the B-Plus Toguro into mince meat. Or roadkill.

At Class-S, his Hyaku Retsu-Ken would've turned mountains like Mt. Kannon, Mt. Kamui, and even Mt. Fuji into molehills, plains, or even outright trenches and canyons as deep as the United States of America's Grand Canyon.

Like he was a pint-sized Paul Bunyan.

The teenager harrumphed. "Really? 500%? Like I'm fighting 5 Toguros at the same time? So what? That's still nothing compared to the demons I've faced since defeating you, Toguro...!"

The bone-breaking punches cracked the shell of Toguro's chitinous muscle armor bit by bit. However, in turn, Toguro let his fists fly as well but in a more methodical manner.

Targeting his punches at Yusuke's openings rather than punching randomly. Using his martial arts experience to take down the stronger foe.  

His bony yet muscular fists pounded on Yusuke's smaller body, cracking bones here and there.

Yusuke's fists ached from every punch he did on the rock-solid body of Toguro, the multitude of Spirit Cuffs holding his power back also getting pushed to their limit. The restraining cuffs and seals he placed upon himself were at their near breaking point from him merely flexing his immense power.

Thank goodness the likes of Yomi, Mukuro, Enki, and the rest of Raizen's friends (as well as Raizen himself when he was alive) put him in his place early on regarding what real power looked like, or else he'd be full of himself right about now.

The Toguro with chitinous bone spurs and keratinous horns all over his muscle-bound body ended up breaking each and every one of his thick, calcified bones from the impact of Yusuke's attacks.

Toguro's bones rattled as micro-tears appeared all over his muscles and tendons. Despite this, he pushed forward. Like his older brother, he healed quickly, which alerted Urameshi that he still had something in his sleeve.

"All right. Then how about this? TAKO NAGURI!"

The Octopus Assault—Yusuke's version of the Kuzu Ryu Sen (Nine-Dragon Flash) that hit 8 times instead of 9 times in an instant—hammered the horned gray body of the zombified and demonized Toguro before he could get the chance to stab, gore, or spear Yusuke with his many protruding bone spurs.

Urameshi once heard that it took either 23,034 slaps to cook a chicken. Either that, or a slap traveling at 1,665.65 meters per second.

He wasn't sure about the math, but he cooked Toguro's goose at a rate of 8-16 punches a second with every punch traveling at 1,000-2,000 meters per second, so it would've took about 20 minutes of non-stop Tako Naguri to get to around 20,000 punches or 2,500 super-powered Tako Naguri.

Or he would've cooked/burned 20,000 whole chickens with his speedy punches at around the same time it took to cook a chicken in the oven.

However, it was at the second minute that Urameshi broke his hand. He hit a hard shell reminiscent of Usui's shield.

From the pile of minced meat, torn muscle cords, and viscera emerged yet another Toguro form.

What stood before him wasn't the spurred behemoth Toguro but instead a fully armored Toguro, with every inch of his body covered in craggy white bone.

As though his shattered bones healed wrong and ended up calcifying right on top of his pulsating muscles. He broke the calcified armor in sections by flexing his limbs in order to give his new outer shell moving joints.

It also made him look like a white lobster man, thought Yusuke in chagrin.

"This is 1,000% of my power. 100 times the power of my 100% self."

***

At the Okushiri Pier, around 9:47 PM...

The mangled remains of a man landed right in front of Reikai's finest from out of the shadows of the dark harbor.

The Reikai Senshi (and their accompanying shinigami) then felt goose bumps form at the napes of their necks—even the ghostly ones that didn't even have tangible skin, blood, or hair to make such a sensation possible.

Even Itsuki, whom Sano beat from pillar to post with bare-knuckle fisticuffs, looked none the worse for wear compared to the person before them.

He was bathed in blood and his torn clothes were dyed crimson because of it. He looked like he'd been ravaged by a pack of wolves.

The only thing recognizable about him was that he was male.  Probably.

Sanosuke was the first one to try and poke at the figure to see who it was. If he had a ten-foot pole, he'd prod the man with it. As it was, thanks to Yahiko manifesting his full neutralization powers, Sano couldn't even summon one zanbatou right now.

The street fighter then stumbled back, which made Kazuma ask, "What's wrong? Who is it? Is that one of the Chojin's Shin Ju or whatever?"

Botan gulped, hoping against hope that the man before them was the injured body of one of the New Ten Swords instead of one of the Spirit World Warriors.

Before Sano could answer, someone else answered for him.

"That's what remains of Hajime Saito. The former captain of the Shinsengumi's Third Unit."

"...What? Who said that?" demanded Yahiko.

The Reikai Tantei, the shinigami, and the Kenshingumi then turned in time to see the silhouette of a pony-tailed person from the distance.

There stood a human(?) of about S-Level power with sleeked-back hair, a lengthy ponytail, and a half-undone kimono that showed off his rippling swimmer's muscles on his long build.

As realization dawned on them one by one, their mouths went agape, practically unhinged from their upper jaw.

The blood drained from Kuwabara's face while the three spiritual beings' faces (Botan/Kaoru, Sano, and Yahiko) looked more transparent than usual.

The ghosts all looked like they'd seen a ghost (ironically enough), forgetting they were ghosts themselves. Gasping for air they couldn't breathe anymore.

Even Kuwabara, who was alive, looked like he'd seen a ghost himself or even turned into one.

The man, who himself was a bloody mess with stabs wounds and cuts at every inch of his body, held something in his arms.

It was his trophy. His prize after a hard day's battle.

It was the head of his enemy. It was the head of Hajime Saito.

Botan screamed. Or rather, Kaoru did.

The Kamiya Kasshin Master couldn't believe that Kenshin's greatest rival who was so famous he became a Japanese historical figure later on had been defeated.

On the other hand, Botan—through centuries of being a death goddess—had seen worse things before, so she was desensitized enough to not scream. Her own feeling of dread was around the same level as Kaoru's, though.

The pony-tailed assassin then took one look at the Kenshingumi sans Kenshin, the Reikai Tantei sidekick, and their shinigami babysitter then sighed.

"Oh, no one but weaklings left? Pathetic. Imagine, after such a delicious meal, I'm left with leftovers and expired food."

The new arrival then placed Saito's head beside the rest of his body. Almost reverently. "Rest in peace, Saito Hajime. You were truly a worthy rival. I acknowledge you."

"You killed Officer Fujita! You BASTARD!" screamed Kuwabara, a knife-sized Rei-Ken ablaze with reiki and righteous indignation in his grip.

Kazuma would've produced a full-length Jigen Tou with the rage he felt, but Yahiko's neutralizing presence kept his powers in check.

"Wait. Boke (Fool), he's...!" Sano trailed off, moving in front of Kuwabara to block him from doing anything hasty. 'If anyone's going to do something hasty, it was going to be me!' thought Sagara.

"Who are you?" said Yahiko as he pointed his sakabatou at the stranger.

"I'm Youkiri Tenro (Tenro the Demon-Slayer). Remember that name before I send you back to Heaven."

***

Yusuke quickly checked his Spirit Detector. Toguro was now at A-Level with his Bone Armor form. Around the same power level as the most powerful members of the Reikai Tokubetsu Bouetai (Spirit World Special Forces).

This turn of events definitely piqued his interest. Somewhat. Maybe this time, he'd get the battle he so craved from this new version of Toguro since being defeated by Yomi in the Makai Tournament.

However, the extra layer of bone armor made it harder for Yusuke to break apart Toguro's muscle armor with mere punches, no matter what velocity he reached.

As though Toguro now had double the armor.

Also, in turn, the Class-A Toguro Ototo pummeled and stabbed Yusuke with earth-shattering strikes from his bony fists, horns, and claws as well as shattered pieces of his bone armor that kept calcifying and regrowing over and over. Layer by layer. Like samurai armor or shingles on the roof.

Stubbornly, the bloody and bruised Yusuke kept on punching the armored demon to push him away and give himself breathing room.

The bony yet muscle-bound contradiction of a monster that looked ridiculously gigantic yet unencumbered by his musculature having an extra layer of armor on top of it, turning him into a veritable tank with the speed of a Mack truck. He even hit like a truck.

However, as his wounds healed in Toguro Ani fashion, Urameshi realized that he had long ago surpassed the version of him that could get killed by being hit by a car. Or a truck. Or a tank. Or perhaps even a nuclear warhead. Maybe.

"Rei-Kou-Dan (Spirit Light Wave Bullet)."

One of his Spirit Cuffs broke as he put his hip into his punches and imbued his fists with actual spiritual power. They were already harder than steel because of the spirit energy contained within his body. When he emanated reiki from inside and outside himself, his punches also become explosive.

One reiki-imbued punch was all it took for him to crack the bone armor of Toguro at 1,000%. However, he wasn't done.

Perhaps he might have gone overboard, but he decided to punch Toguro 20,000 times in 3 minutes rather than 20 minutes. But it sure felt like 20 minutes.

Furthermore, these weren't just physical punches. His fists were set on fire with spiritual energy this time around. He shot out 20,000 Rei-Kou-Dan blasts, to be more precise.

Every supersonic punch had the impact of a blockbuster bomb, with it breaking the sound barrier and sending extra shockwaves to Toguro and all. Perhaps he'd become even more explosive than multiple blockbusters.

Perhaps Yusuke had turned into a teenaged nuke or warhead himself.

However, out of the mangled mess of bone armor emerged yet another Toguro. The armor that should've served as his coffin ended up becoming his cocoon for his newest metamorphosis. Which, to Yusuke's surprise, made him breathe a sigh in relief.

Yes! He could still push himself even further!

Was this excited feeling the same one that Toguro felt when, just a few years prior, Yusuke was able to withstand the might of 80% of his power when he killed Genkai in cold blood?

Regardless, a bronze-skinned, taller, and four-armed Toguro emerged from all that mush and burnt flesh he'd become earlier, impossibly towering even higher over Yusuke than before. His current ginormous form made his former seven-foot form look normal-sized in comparison.

His muscles were like taut steel cords now, like those used in heavy-duty tires and conveyer belts. Perhaps even harder. They were definitely harder than the pieces of thick calcified bone armor that they crushed like egg shells with a simple collective body flex.

"This is 100,000% of my power. This is what fighting 1,000 clones of my 100% self looks like."

Yusuke thought for a second what Toguro meant by that, only for him to test the theory out with an additional 20,000 Rei-Kou-Dan blasts in a minute. 20,000 palm blocks later and Urameshi now had a better idea of what his nemesis meant, followed by 20,000 counterpunches in between those blocks.

All in a minute's time.

'100,000% Toguro? He didn't even bother going to 10,000%? Jeez!' Urameshi thought as he got hit with a two-armed lariat that dragged his body across the landscape and river like a trailer home in a tornado.

This was it. This was the A-Plus version of Toguro.

Yusuke couldn't even hide the grin from his face even as this newest form of Toguro beat him to the punch every time.

Toguro at 100,000% had even tighter and tauter musculature with enough strength and torque behind them to break bones to dust. His ripcord muscles could handle punching velocities similar to that of or even faster than Yusuke's.

It also didn't help that Toguro now had a body that could accommodate four arms, thus giving him twice the hand speed and arm speed due to his literal extra limbs.

***

"...SHISHIO!" screamed Sanosuke at Tenro, his blood (ectoplasm) boiling. His right fist, which Makoto Shishio broke, pulsating like a second heart.

Even though Tenro wasn't wearing bandages and his skin wasn't burned to a crisp, Sano could recognize that voice and that demeanor anywhere.

'Shishio?' thought Kuwabara. So Tenro was the man who founded the original Juppon Gatana? Kenshin's greatest rival? The man who ultimately caused Kenshin's demise? The man who might actually be the alter ego of the Chojin himself?

The guy who not only pushed Hiei to his limits, but also possibly two of the Demon World's three kings, Yomi and Mukuro? Was Tenro Shishio's reincarnation or something...?

Before they knew it, they were suddenly faced with the final boss of the game.

The fighting spirit of Sanosuke rose high enough for him to defy the nullifying presence of Yahiko and form half of a zanbatou in his hands, which he swung at the (presumably) non-burned version or reincarnation of the ex-hitokiri and Meiji rebel known as Makoto Shishio.

With one swing of Tenro's Mugen Jin (Unlimited Blade) sword, Sagara's suspicions were confirmed.

"Secret Sword One: HOMURA DAMA!"

Shishio's signature Homura Dama (Burning Soul) technique where his sword burst into flame clashed hard against the 6-foot (normally 12-foot) horse-chopping sword, smelting it in the process like a blacksmith's forge in a shower of sparks.

"A weakling like usual, Sagara Sanosuke," sneered Tenro. "It's been a while, though."

"I don't understand. Wasn't Shishio supposed to look like a mummy or something? He's some guy who was burnt to a crisp and covered in bandages, right?" said Kazuma.

Sano answered, "Yeah, but obviously it's been 100 years. He must've found a way to get a new body, or ended up with a solidified soul, or got reincarnated as this Tenro clown."

Myojin gulped. He considered deactivating his powers to allow either Kuwabara or Sanosuke to attack the youkiri. However, if Tenro was this powerful with his spiritual power nullified, how much more powerful could he get when Yahiko's powers ceased working?

The disheveled Yumi then cackled in the background, the hole in her chest throbbing with a ghostly heart that the man before her had "stolen" from her.

"It's about time you got here, Tenro. What took you so long? Don't tell me the Miburo (Mibu's Wolf) gave you all that you can handle and then some."

Tenro harrumphed. "Perish the thought, Yumi. I merely gave my respects first to the Shinsengumi in the Battle of Hakodate Monument, and guess who I also found there? That's right, our favorite Shinsengumi Captain, Saito Hajime."

'Hakodate?!' thought Yahiko. 'That's four hours away from Okushiri! All the way on the other side of Hokkaido, at that!'

Sanosuke himself snarled at Tenro, his fist burning with pain and fire, as though it remembered how Makoto had shattered it when they'd faced each other back at Mt. Hiei.

'Hakodate is the place that served as the Shinsengumi's last stand. Did Saito go there to pay his respects to his squad? In the middle of our war against the Shin Ju? It's not like him to be so sentimental.'

The street fighter spared a glance at the remains of Hajime Saito. Unbelievable. Just earlier, he pushed several of the Shin Juppon Gatana to their limits, but now he ended up as dead as the rest of the original Shinsengumi.

Well, Saito himself was supposed to already be dead and buried in the first place, but this time around he got killed off for real by Shishio. Or Tenro, which was probably the reincarnation of Shishio.

Kuwabara turned towards Yahiko and said, "Kid, turn off your powers! I'm going to face off with the final boss one-on-one at my full strength!"

"But...!" the ghost kid trailed off before Botan filled in the rest.

"Kuwabara-kun, he can't. He's the only one sealing Tenro's immense power. If he was able to do that to Saito, imagine what he could do to us! Let Yahiko seal his power for now until either Kenshin or Yusuke arrives!" warned the ferry-girl.

"I DON'T CARE!" shouted Kazuma. "Let us face him at his full strength while we're also at full strength! As a real man, I won't back down!"

Tenro smirked. "Fine then. If you're not bluffing then come at me. In this world and beyond it, the same rules of nature apply. Only the strongest survive and the weak are food for the strong."

Sano's eyes narrowed. That convinced him that the man before him really was Shishio. That was totally a Shishio-type line. 'It's now or never. We just have to keep him here until either Kenshin or that delinquent best friend of Boke arrives!'

***

"REI-KOU-DAN!" shouted Urameshi, his Spirit Wave Light Bullets bursting through his fist like bolts of lightning from a Railgun.

The 100,000% Toguro blocked the punch with his elbow, shattering Yusuke's hand bones in the process. "Is this the power of an S-Level? Don't make me laugh. Me at 100,000% of my power is enough for you."

Toguro then grabbed hold of Urameshi's limbs with all four of his arms in a bid to tear the teenager apart literally from limb to limb.

Yusuke considered Toguro's statement for a second and then said, "Fuck that," before flipping the four-armed monster off with his right hand.

The mere idea that someone like Feng Xinhai or The "Beautiful" Suzuki was more powerful than Toguro just didn't sit well with Urameshi. At all.

At any rate, the middle finger he raised at the 100,000% Toguro then flowed with energy he'd been saving for a special occasion.

Yusuke discovered that he could actually save and store his dormant spirit energy as a reserve or extra Spirit Gun blast for use in case of emergencies since it usually took forever and a day to charge his Rei-Gan.

The energy for this one he'd been gathering for weeks' on end.

Also, in order for him to not mistakenly fire off his reserve Rei-Gan, he had this special energy bullet stored in his middle finger. This was how the new technique that he improvised when facing off against the S-Level Xinhai ultimately evolved.

This was his "Fuck You!" Spirit Gun. Also known as the "FAKKU GAN! (FUCK GUN!)"

The 100,000% Toguro chucked Yusuke away like a hot potato in order to better dodge the point-blank spiritual projectile then punted the Fuck Gun back to the teenager who fired it.

However, by instinct borne from his hundreds of fights against spiritually powerful humans and demons, Yusuke jumped away from the Fakku Gan, grabbed Toguro by the ankle, dragged him towards the ball of plasma fire he actually outran, and then threw the monster back into its path.

From there, as the 100,000% Toguro braced himself for impact, Urameshi emerged from behind him. Attacking him from the rear for good measure.

Toguro was now stuck between a rock and a hard place. Or between a demon and his energy blast.

"REI-KOU-DAN! SHOT GUN!" screamed the half-demon prince.

While the Fakku Gan blasted and disintegrated the giant from the front, Yusuke attacked with his Spirit Light Wave Bullets and reiki scattershot from behind, which kept even the four-armed monstrosity from defending himself from the upcoming onslaught surrounding him.

The charged-up blasts of energy in particle and wave forms bore on Toguro like plasma tides or a solar wind. An endless series of reiki tidal waves from the vast ocean of Urameshi's power.

Thanks to the extra pressure brought about by his stored energy blast from many weeks ago, Yusuke's Rei-Kou-Dan was able to penetrate deep into Toguro's core. The technique ripped apart the steel cord muscles of Toguro as they got softened by the comet of energy that cooked him alive.  

Then, as Yusuke had hoped deep in his unbeating heart, the mangled Toguro changed form yet again.

The same heart that stopped beating after Shinobu Sensui first pierced it felt like it had started beating again in anticipation. In excitement. In nostalgia, even.

Toguro still had more forms and powers up his sleeve. Just like old times.

And from there, out of the ashes and melted muscle of the 100,000% Toguro came forth the One Million Percent Toguro.

"One Million Percent. This is me at One Million Percent of my power, Urameshi Yusuke."

***

Kuwabara and Sanosuke attacked Tenro at the same time while Yahiko struggled on the spot to focus all his neutralizing powers on the Shishio reincarnation(?) alone.

Botan checked her Spirit Detector again. Hope sprouted anew within her heart. 'Yes! Tenro's power level went down to A-Level. He's still on the cusp of S-Level, but at least he's not as powerful as someone like Sensui or Xinhai! We have a chance!'

Tenro frowned. His aura of jaki had become fainter and weaker due to Myojin's powers.

'Hmmm. The Shin Ju had warned me about this impudent brat. Even Toguro Ani couldn't heal properly thanks to this kid's neutralizing reiki.'

As Yahiko slowly mastered his neutralization powers so that only Tenro was affected by them, the energy levels of Kuwabara and Sanosuke went up higher and higher than before, their auras flaring with spiritual might that was boosted by Botan's healing powers for good measure.

"JIGEN TOU!" screamed Kazuma, summoning his Dimension Sword.

"ZANBATOU!" shouted Sanosuke, producing his 12-foot long Horse-Chopping Sword.

"How appropriate. Isn't this just a reflection of today's society? The weak are using their great numbers to suppress their betters, not realizing that without the strong to lead them or the will to become strong themselves, they will end up extinct. The world stands on the shoulders of giants."

"SHADDAP! I don't know who you are, but all's fair in love and war," declared Kuwabara.

"Not all men are created equal. Like in the Animal Kingdom, some men are simply better than others. Equal opportunity doesn't guarantee equal results. Forcing equal results in an aberration of nature, like forcing animals to act like men, the pinnacle of evolution."

Tenro used a bare hand to grab hold of Kuwabara's Dimension Sword and used his other hand holding the saw-like Mugen Jin to block the full-length zanbatou.

"Ganging up on the strong can lead to the survival of the weak temporarily. However, their own respective weaknesses will sort them out. Their celebration of mediocrity will make them food for other apex predators in the future or have them subjugated by any of their own who decide to become rams instead of sheep."

The Youkiri then broke the Jigen Tou apart like it was made of cardboard instead of pure energy and stabbed Sanosuke's chest with it while also melting the zanbatou with his Mugen Jin's Homura Dama.

"Regardless, it is better to live one day as a lion than one hundred years as a sheep. These are... THE RULES OF NATURE!"

"AUGH!" grunted Sanosuke, his recently recovered soul flickering in and out of existence, his chest spewing ectoplasm, and his aura dissipating into pinpoints of light like a disturbed nest of bioluminescent fireflies.

He felt the light inside him slowly fade all the while.

"Bastard...!" said Kazuma, who repurposed the broken shards of his Jigen Tou and shot it pointblank at Youkiri Tenro's face, turning them into "REI-SHURIKEN!"

He should've hit him with the projectiles from a distance, though. The first few blades bounced off of the intense aura of jaki that covered Tenro's body like armor, which reminded Kuwabara of the aura that Detective Matsudaira developed.

Reiatsu (Spirit pressure).

Tenro's aura was dense enough to become spirit pressure reminiscent of Bui from the Toguro Team. Or Yusuke whenever he unleashed his full power.

So this was the Chojin's secret weapon? If not the Chojin himself altogether?

The demon-slayer then grabbed the teenager's wrist and redirected the shuriken at Sano again, injuring him further. From there, he broke Kuwabara's hand altogether then grabbed him by the collar, declaring, "Secret Sword Two: GUREN KAINA! (CRIMSON LOTUS ARM!)"

Using his Mugen Jin to ignite the gunpowder-laced glove, the youkiri blasted Kuwabara with the force of a bomb.

The gunpowder-inside-the-glove trick that Shishio used on Kenshin was also used against Kazuma, with the explosion violently blowing him away. A hundred years ago, Makoto's hand was kept safe from the blast using a special metal gauntlet underneath the glove full of gunpowder that resisted the impact.

Tenro somehow ended up doing an even stronger version of the Guren Kaina that was imbued with the chaotic negative energy of the Chojin, which made the explosion strong enough to injure a human with the A-Class power level of Kuwabara.

Yahiko's power-suppressing aura didn't help in this case.

Tenro then shot the samurai ghost teen a look that chilled him to his "bones" or "spine". The youkiri then declared, "You will not drag me down to your level. Know your place, child."

However, while Tenro was distracted, the flickering spirit of Sanosuke stabbed the youkiri with hot molten metal of what was left of his sword in a spectacular display of sparks.

This was Sano's one chance of making a dent, so he had to make it count. However, as he attempted to punch Tenro's heart out, his hand ended up crushed with the youkiri's elbow block.

With a harrumph, Tenro proceeded to punch Sanosuke on the forehead, just like when Sano fought Shishio. "You never learn."

"I don't understand," murmured the Kaoru inside Botan's body. "Isn't Yahiko's aura supposed to suppress Tenro's powers too? Why is he still so strong!?"

She then noticed the unconscious Itsuki open his eyes and wake up, which led her to keep her guard up.

The black-and-blue Itsuki chuckled, tracing his finger over the scar Kuwabara had made on his face back when the Reikai Tantei faced off against Shinobu Sensui. "Y-You don't understand. This is him with his power held back."

"W-What do you mean? That's impossible!" Botan checked her Spirit Detector. "Oh no. His power is fluctuating between A-Level and S-Level when earlier it was just A-Level. That can't be! How powerful is he?"

Sneering, Itsuki said, "Who knows? Rumor has it he's about as powerful as one of the Former Three Kings—Mukuro, Yomi, and even the Late Raizen. He might even reach the mythical X-Level like Kurama did when he took hold of the Demon Sword."

Botan's face went pale blue as though unseen hands suddenly grabbed hold of her thin neck. "X-Level?!"

She remembered the event like it was yesterday.

The Spirit World went on high alert when Kurama went Class-X after wielding the Youtou Shinnoken (Demon Sword). They even called the entire Reikai Bouetai in. Not that it would've done them any good, since the Special Forces were composed of Class-A agents and Class-X was a level beyond Class-S.

She couldn't even fathom how strong an X-Level was since Kurama immediately rejected the Demon Sword, which transformed him back into his "human" self.

However, stronger than Yomi, Mukuro, or Raizen gave her a ballpark estimate of what they were dealing with. Someone as strong as or stronger than a Raizen-possessed Yusuke who ragdolled the mountain-destroying Sensui with ease.

All the same, Tenro stood victorious over the beaten figures of Sanosuke and Kuwabara.

"Will you become rams or sheep? Lions or feral street cats? Wolves or mongrel dogs? Can you evolve and turn into apex predators yourselves? It's natural selection. Kill or be killed. Make your choice."

***

The peaceful Tsurikake River had now become a war zone. A swamp in one part and a desert in another.

It was Baghdad. It was bedlam.

The 1,000,000% Toguro was there at the epicenter of the devastation. A nuke all his own. An unnatural force of nature.

An over-muscled demonized human even taller than his 100,000% version. A walking contradiction of chaos and order.

He had no skin now. He was all pure, red muscle and tendons pulsating and wriggling in every which way.

He also had six arms instead of two or four, with him towering even higher than before because he had to elongate his torso to cartoonish levels just to accommodate his extra pair of limbs.

Curious at how strong this Toguro was, Yusuke flipped the bird on Toguro with his other hand.

Yes, he had also stored another Fuck Gun on his other hand, with about the same amount of potential spiritual energy gathered for multiple weeks since he fired his first Fakku Gan at Feng Xinhai.

"FAKKU GAN!"

Again, Urameshi blasted all of his pent-up "Fuck You!" energy at Toguro by flipping him off, shooting the bolt of concentrated lightning that came out with the force of a shooting star.

Again, he outran the modified reserve Rei-Gan and came up from behind the six-armed insectoid Toguro with the intent of making sure he got hit by it.

He then attacked Toguro with both hands using the Rei-Gan and Shot Gun.

"DOUBLE-BARRELED SHOT GUN! DOUBLE BERRETTA REI-GAN!"

Those extra pair of hands on an even bigger and sturdier body made all the difference.

Two of six arms grabbed and held back the charged-for-weeks Rei-Gan. Another two of the arms parried and blocked all of Yusuke's energy-laden punches as well as the projectiles blasting through them.

This freed up the Million-Percent Toguro's two remaining hands that grabbed hold of Yusuke and pummeled him into submission.

The Younger Toguro utilized punches that carved the landscape. Made and destroyed mountains.

The kind of unnatural force of nature (as contradictory as it sounded) that could affect plate tectonics, weather patterns, or change the area forever, like in the case of Mt. St. Helens when it exploded or the nine ghost villages of France that remained wastelands to this day thanks to the Battle of Verdun in the First World War.  

If Yusuke's reiki-dense body weren't there to absorb the blows they would've shattered and sunk Okushiri right off of the map.

Even though Urameshi was breathing through his mouth, had lost several teeth, and ended up with a shattered jaw he couldn't close, he couldn't help but grin. Or at least do an open-mouthed smile.

"I'm beating you to the punch at every turn. So why is it...?" Toguro tilted his head to the side in askance. "Why do you have such a happy look on your face?"

Disturbingly, Yusuke's teeth grew back. They weren't supposed to do that but they did. Even accelerated human healing wouldn't allow the return of lost permanent teeth. All his bruises healed. All his broken bones mended themselves. His shut black eye's swelling subsided and went back to normal.

There he hung from Toguro's grip. Smiling. None the worse for wear save for torn clothes that couldn't restore themselves to their previous state.

"Come on, Toguro. You can do better than this, you son of a bitch! Gimme your best shot!"

Toguro then proceeded to smash Yusuke and his own heavenly body of a Fakku Gan together, which resulted in a mushroom cloud of pure destructive power.

Another atomic blast had hit Japan.

Toguro the Younger turned Urameshi into the atomic bomb he was afraid he had become.

***

Back at the Okushiri Pier, two things happened.

Botan, using the wealth of leftover negative energy that Kaoru purified earlier, again started healing the damage inflicted upon the available Reikai Senshi.

Kuwabara and Sanosuke stirred, as if shot by multiple doses of adrenalin.

Also, when the youkiri decided to deal with the shinigami herself to keep her from aiding her comrades, Yahiko himself confronted and attacked Tenro head on.

For all the good it did. Bless his ghostly heart.

"DOU GAMI...! (GOD ON EARTH!)" shouted Yahiko, hoping against hope it'd land on Tenro's head or sword or at least near him so that he'd get pelted by rocks and debris.

'So this is Shishio. The leader of the Juppon Gatana. Kenshin's most powerful rival,' the samurai spirit thought.

Tenro caught the reverse-edged blade between his fingers before it could make contact with him or the Mugen Jin. The God Hammer relied on recoil to give Yahiko enough space to consecutively strike something or someone three times fast in order to break their resistance and apply a zero-resistance strike.

No recoil meant the technique was neutralized.

Myojin's jaw dropped. "How...!?"

"So you're the brat who can neutralize spirit energy," said Tenro with narrowed eyes that traveled from Houji's unconscious form then all the way back to Yahiko.

Readjusting his grip of the sword tight with a gloved hand that smelled of gunpowder and negative spirit energy, Tenro again did the "GUREN KAINA!" on the blade.

The explosion blasted Myojin clear away from (presumably) Shishio, the shrapnel from his own spiritual construct of a sakabatou hitting him at the speed of bullets. His spirit fading and dissipating with pinpoints of energy.

''YAHIKO!" both Botan and Kaoru chorused in one unified body, fearing the worst.

However, the shards of Yahiko's shattered blade also penetrated Tenro's body, sealing his power further away from S-Level.

'What a problematic child this is.'

Myojin got up to his feet and charged with his broken reverse-edged blade, hoping to buy Sano and Kuwabara time. Buy Kenshin and Yusuke time as well.

He intended to do the Inga Gami on Tenro's head, only to revert to the Kamiya Kasshin Ryu ougi for Hadome and Hawatari when his opponent beat him to the punch and struck first with the Homura Dama.

However, as he defended against the downwards flaming strike with a crossed-wrist block, Tenro grappled with him and kept him from parrying the strike. "Do you want to know how your idol, Himura Battousai, died a century ago? Like this. Guren Kaina. Homura Dama."

After the explosion from the gunpowder happened, Tenro allowed the resulting fire to flare and roast the hapless ghost of Yahiko Myojin.

"AAAHH...!" screamed the burning Yahiko.

"YAHIKO!" shouted Sanosuke.

"BRAT!" yelled Kuwabara.

Tenro himself stood in the middle of the conflagration, but like in his confrontation with Hiei, he ended up none the worse for wear from the roaring bonfire.

"Too strong... He's too strong...!" gasped Yahiko. "Even after all this time, I'm still as weak as I've always been."

The bright yellow flames turned green then blue as Yahiko's form reverted to that of a hitodama (will-o'-the-wisp).

Meanwhile, Botan shrieked, fell on her knees, and covered her eyes with her hands.

"Who is stronger? A wolf in sheep's clothing or a sheep in wolf's clothing? Don't deny your true nature. Embrace what you really are. It's either you know your place or claw your way up the food chain. Evolve. Transform. Step up or step aside."

The entirety of Okushiri then started to rumble as Yahiko's neutralizing reiki ebbed away.

Like a dam that was about to break.

***

A nuke did damage in three stages.

It irradiated heat and light, it blasted everything to Kingdom Come, and it scattered radioactive materials around.

The bigger you went, the less relevant the radioactive materials became relative to the other effects as the heat irradiation had a much greater and more noticeable immediate effect. Effectively, when a nuke went off, the temperature of the resulting fireball could go up to millions of degrees, but it dissipated relatively quickly.

However, instead of having a repeat of Hiroshima and Nagasaki in 1993, Yusuke's dense aura (arguably going at reiatsu level at this point) allowed him to absorb most of the impact of his own Fakku Gan.

The explosion became a blockbuster level blast instead of an atomic bomb mushroom cloud.

Yusuke collapsed on the ground, taking the brunt of his own spirit energy.

Before him towered a behemoth of a demonized man. His exposed muscles bursting out of his skin. His six huge arms giving him an insect-like vibe.

This was Toguro using a million percent of his power. He had become the Demigod Asura, a six-armed demon of war and destruction.

However, even in the face of this absolute unit of a monster, something else from many miles away grabbed Urameshi's attention.

Over the horizon, he felt a suppressed Low S-Level power grow and pulse. Like a leaking and cracked dam ready to burst.

Once that dam finally burst forth, Yusuke broke all of his limits at once. Every last Spirit Cuff. Every last bit of hesitation he had from the Kugai curse placed upon him by Rando.

He caught even the Million-Percent Toguro by surprise at how fast his power level rose.

He summoned his version of the Sei Kou Ki, the golden aura serving as his barrier against Toguro's atomic punches.

His hair grew long and turned white for good measure before he proceeded to punch the Million-Percent Toguro a million times. A glowing golden punch for every percentage.

"SEI-KOU-DAN!" Yusuke cried, blasting Toguro with the Sei-Kou-Ki version of the Rei-Kou-Dan.

He had to. That dark presence in the distance sounded all of his internal alarms and red flags. His primitive flight-or-fight instinct activated.

As though feeling the rise in power from a distance spurred him into action more effectively than the golem before him that, quite frankly, took too long to get to S-Level and beyond.

Whichever Reikai Senshi was out there, they were fighting the final boss. The Chojin himself, even.

***

Botan rushed towards Yahiko's side, doing her best to heal his injured hitodama form. But the damage was extensive on his human soul, the light within his spirit fading away fast. "Hold on, Yahiko-kun! I got you! Everything's going to be fine!"

However, no matter how much spirit energy she used to heal Yahiko's damaged soul, it never healed. His hitodama continued to remain in its fireball state, flickering like a candle in the wind.

Kuwabara was the first to get up shakily on his feet, the Rei-Ken in his hand (also) flickering back and forth between its normal form and its Jigen Tou form.

"You talk too much, you bastard!" said the redhead, who attempted to create a portal to send the youkiri to space, only for Tenro to grab the teenager by his curly regent-style hair and put his face into the portal in an effort to suffocate him.

"What happened to Japan? Is this the best warriors that this new age can pony up? Pathetic," said Youkiri Tenro. "It's so sad. The United States of America turned the proud Empire of Japan into a whipped dog. An island full of losers and weirdoes."

Kuwabara ignited Tenro's glove with a small Rei-Ken on his free hand, which made it explode in the youkiri's face. Gasping for air, the redhead attempted another blind swing at the would-be dictator, only for him to end up stabbed in the lung.

He coughed blood as his eyes watered. His insides drowned in his own blood through internal bleeding.

"Sheep will always be sheep. Wolves will always be wolves. Lions will always be lions. A hitokiri will always be a hitokiri. A youkiri will always be youkiri. It's an aberration of nature to be one thing and claim to be another. If you want to become strong then change yourself for real. Defy or accept your fate. Become the predator or become the prey. It's up to you."

Ignoring the throbbing pain from his right fist that somehow trumped the ectoplasmic bleeding he got from the Rei-Shuriken, Sagara attempted a Futae no Kiwami and aimed it right into the chest of Shishio.

Or Tenro. Or the Chojin. Whoever he was or claimed to be.

Tenro tossed aside Kuwabara's quivering body like trash then blocked Sanosuke's punch with his own punch.

Last time, Sano broke his fist on Shishio's concrete face, his own Futae no Kiwami deflecting back to the bones of his hand. This time, his Douhle Extreme was enough to match Tenro's strength.

Only enough to match Tenro's strength though.

As Tenro again attempted to punch and crack Sanosuke's skull open, something unexpected happened.

"...SANJO NO KIWAMI!"

Sano blew Tenro's fist away with the Triple Extreme, which opened up his chest to a direct heart punch.

The coup de grace.

"FUTAE NO KIWAMI! DORYAAH...!"

Sanosuke landed the Futae no Kiwami right into Shishio's heart. Or Tenro's heart.

A second passed. The youkiri cackled.

"Congratulations. You're a little bit stronger now than before."

As the fading, transparent visage of Sanosuke let out a soundless scream, his pupils constricted into tiny dots on a white expanse, Tenro finally attacked the street fighter with his flame-producing weapon, its Homura Dama splitting Sano's head apart in a spectacular spray of ectoplasm.

"S-Sano..." choked out Kuwabara, his own vision fading along with Sanosuke's soul.

All that time, even in his will-o'-the-wisp form, the soul of Yahiko kept sealing the power of Youkiri Tenro. However, he couldn't contain the immense power of the Shishio reincarnation(?) any longer.

His soul finally succumbed, fading to black before shattering into a thousand pinpoints of light.

"Yahiko, no! No! NOOO!" cried Botan. "Dammit, come back! Oh no, what's going on? Why is everything going wrong?!"

Okushiri rumbled as the unleashed power of Tenro began to expand into a tall pillar of darkness and miasma. His jaki shot up into the sky, which gathered nimbus clouds all around them.

The localized quakes grew stronger and stronger. It felt like the world was about to split apart. This was the power of an Upper Class-S being that somehow ended up in the Human World.

He felt like power made flesh. A walking disaster area. A humanoid cyclone.

Tenro smirked as he surveyed the pier. He felt their presence. They were coming. He felt their power, anger, and desperation travel towards him like moths to his flame.

He could feel their strong presences, spirit energy, sword energy, and aura even from miles away.

One was on land, on foot, going faster than a cheetah. The other in the air, presumably ferried by one of Reikai's shinigami.

Who could they be?

First, there was the one half-demon, half-human mazoku descendant of Raizen, Makai's God of War, who was able to harness his demonic power and lineage. Raizen's true son. The Last Son of the Mazoku.

Yusuke Urameshi.

Second, there was the man who "defeated" Makoto Shishio to a suicidal kamikaze draw.  The Hitokiri Battousai who died and then became the Youkiri Battousai, the Guardian of the Demon Sword.

Kenshin Himura.

"Come forth. Show me the best and most powerful champions that this era has to offer. I'll defeat them all!" declared Tenro the Demon-Slayer to his upcoming opponents.

However, before Tenro knew it, his chest tightened. His heart stopped beating.

His negative energy wasn't able to heal the damage in time. He stood there, frozen. His time had stopped care of Sanosuke's efforts.

This happened due to the combination of the Futae no Kiwami and the shards of Yahiko's neutralizing reiki damaging his mortal heart. It kept him from manifesting the full breadth of his power that managed to take down even Hajime Saito.

The Kenshingumi's curse, if you would.

"Before challenging the champions of this era, watch out behind you. The past has a way of catching up with you, Shishio Makoto!"

Speaking of Saito, it was then and there that the headless corpse of Hajime Saito began moving on its own, with his one arm cradling his decapitated head.

As though he were the Headless Horseman. Or a Dullahan of Irish folklore.

That bastard. He was playing possum all this time!?

Tenro willed himself to move, but couldn't. He felt his left arm go numb. The shards of Yahiko's sakabatou might've reached all the way to his coronary arteries.

There was no telling how much cardiovascular damage Sanosuke's punch had done to his heart.

Dammit.

He began to sweat hard while clutching his chest. "Damn you, Saito Hajime."

"I've never seen you so sweaty and pathetic before," the head of Saito mocked before charging with his Gatotsu Ishiki from behind Tenro. "Then again, your sweat glands did get all burned up in your past life."

Instead of aiming at Tenro's head like with his encounter with Shishio, Saito instead aimed his sword right at Tenro's stopped heart while he was in the middle of a heart attack.

Appropriately enough, instead of being defeated by someone stronger than him, it was the desperate alliance of those weaker than Tenro that ultimately dragged him towards his ultimate defeat.

The ultimate irony.

"Go back to Hell, Shishio...!"

"No, I will make this world Hell and feel right at home!"

No. This was the same method Hajime used to "kill" Usui (temporarily). He took advantage of other people's hard work then opportunistically struck at the right time.

There was no way Youkiri Tenro would go down like a punk. Like Usui, of all people. An outsmarted weakling.

Tenro willed himself to move to block the strike.

His Homura Dama melted right through Saito's sword. Apparently, the Shinsengumi Captain was already using the last of his soul's strength to even make the strike, resulting in a vulnerable blade with barely any spirit energy to protect it.

Nevertheless, the rest of the hot blade plunged right into one of Tenro's lungs, spraying his blood all over the empty pier.

Saito smirked and closed his eyes. Instead of a solidified soul, Shishio really was reincarnated into an extra powerful human being. But a human being nonetheless. A mortal one that could be killed.

Tenro awaited the Gatotsu Zeroshiki that never came.

Alas, Saito already spent most of his energy fighting a full-powered X-Level Tenro earlier, with him sacrificing his very life force to just injure him now.

"I win again, Saito Hajime," hissed Tenro, coughing blood. "I survived your attack while you're already as good as dead. I can easily heal this damage and finish off the rest of the Reikai Senshi."

"That's my parting gift," said Saito, his own spirit fading. "You won't be able to reach X-Level in time now."

Before Tenro could wonder any further what Saito meant by his words, a gigaton punch shattered his face from out of the blue.

"Wha...?! GUAAAAH!!!"

Again, the wolf outfoxed him at every turn.

The youkiri realized that he'd just been punched by Raizen's "Son". The Mazoku Descendant. The hanyou (half-demon) that scared the great Enma Daio himself.

His brain sloshed inside his broken skull, leading to a concussion.

Any other impact from a weaker opponent wouldn't have even registered to Tenro. But a punch from an S-Level mazoku? That was a punch that could tear apart entire continents.

He also spotted from behind the long-haired, tattooed, and angry Mazoku Yusuke a warp portal that Kazuma Kuwabara probably made to shorten his best friend's travel time.

This was bad news.

His compromised heart and lungs hadn't recovered yet. Even though his energy levels were rising, his mortal damage kept him from manifesting his full power. He wasn't healing fast enough.

But this also excited him.

Tenro missed out on slaying Raizen—one of the greatest, oldest, and most powerful demons of the Demon World. Fighting his distant half-breed offspring was the next best thing to it.

With Yusuke's white hair and boundless energy, he himself looked to be at the cusp of achieving X-Level.

"Far more important than your power level, you've upended the natural order of things in both the Spirit World and the Demon World," said the gasping yet calm Tenro.

Yusuke picked up the pace, his nuclear-powered punches reaching speeds so impossibly, superhumanly fast that they came with their own eardrum-obliterating sonic booms.

However, the tough-as-nails Tenro absorbed every punch with his hard body and boundless jaki, so his mountain-obliterating punches "merely" made the pier shake and quake like a frightened child suffering domestic abuse.

"When Raizen died, you took over and found a way to keep the warring factions of Mukuro and Yomi from leading Makai into another millennia-long war for power."

Tenro gurgled but laughed with what sounded like a death rattle. Knocking at Hell's Gates with the sea of punches he had to wade through while punching and slashing at the elusive demon spawn in turn.

"You even helped expose the corruption within Reikai and had Koenma Daio depose his father, Enma Daio. Then you saved the Human World again from a Spirit World terrorist group. Imagine that."

The constant battery of kicks, punches, knees, elbows, and headbutts that barely gave Tenro any breathing room took their toll, making him cough and spew blood from many of his body's orifices, like his ears, eyes, nose, and mouth.

"The Chojin views you as a threat not because of your power level but instead of how you affect everyone and everything around you. You're a spanner in the works. Someone who can defy fate itself."

The threat of death made Tenro feel alive. His flight-or-fight instincts were on high alert.

After the thousands of demon hunts he'd participated in for the sake of turning his reincarnated yakuza boss self into someone worthy of housing Makoto Shishio's soul, this was the first time he actually, remotely felt threatened.

It was as he had imagined facing Yomi, Mukuro, or Raizen would've been like when they were still the Three Kings of Makai or at the peak of their power.

"We're cut from the same cloth, Urameshi Yusuke." Tenro sneered, wiping the blood from his nose. "I too exist to spite God. I defied my ultimate fate of death. From one lion to another, I will fight fate itself to write my own destiny. Just like you have."

"What the hell are you blathering on about?" said Yusuke, who kept up his endless barrage of Sei Kou Ki punches and kicks in order to pummel Tenro to submission.

Although he was winning the exchange, Toushin Yusuke's fists ended up aching and bleeding.

They might've even been broken by the dense thickness of Tenro's own reiatsu of negative energy serving as a barrier from inside and outside him, keeping his human body intact in spite of this mauling.

Regardless, the human-demon spawn had to finish Tenro off immediately.

Even though Urameshi was able to best Toguro by going all out, he could still feel his old enemy's presence. The Younger Toguro could still reemerge and possibly go beyond a million percent of his power. Perhaps a billion or a trillion even.

"Let's end this, Tenro. Or Shishio. Or Chojin. Whoever you are.  I'll finish you and your Shin Juppon Gatana off for good! SEI-GAN!"

A black-and-blue Tenro grinned as he felt a meteor-sized blast of purest Sei Kou Ki grow bigger and bigger from Yusuke's pointer finger. A miniature sun that glowed gold instead of bright blue.

This was the correct move. In order to finally penetrate through Tenro's reiatsu, Yusuke had to use his ultimate, ultimate move. A Rei-Gan powered by Sei-Kou-Ki shot by his white-haired demonic form.

However, the Chojin foresaw all this. This was why he gave (back) Tenro his original Mugen Jin.

When Yahiko still had his neutralizing reiki activated, the Mugen Jin could only be used the way it originally was made for, which was to create flames through the body fat and human oils it collected.

However, a hundred years later, the sword itself became a cursed sword with supernatural powers like the Youtou Shinnoken. It gained an extra property.

Without Yahiko's powers sealing its supernatural abilities away, it could absorb, steal, store, and release the spirit energy of others.

Thus, Tenro's Mugen Jin absorbed every last bit of the Sei-Gan from Mazoku Yusuke, only for him to do the third secret sword on him powered by Urameshi's own Sacred Light Spirit Energy.

"Secret Sword Three: KAGUZUCHI! (FIRE-BEARING SPIRIT GOD!)"

A fire tornado that mixed Tenro's demonic negative energy reiatsu with Yusuke's angelic sacred energy tossed the teenaged warhead around in a maelstrom of malcontent (since jaki was basically just energy derived from humanity's hatred and grudges).

If the mixture of volatile energy didn't kill the demonized Urameshi, then the centrifugal force of an F5 hurricane that would normally turn any normal human being into liquefied butter would.

"Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu Ougi: AMAKAKERU RYU NO HIRAMEKI! (HEAVENS GLIDING DRAGON FLASH!)"

The void created by the ultimate attack of the Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu destroyed the red, black, and gold wind funnel that had threatened to rage against Okushiri like a seasonal typhoon.

As a battered Yusuke fell from the sky, an erstwhile Kenshin jumped and caught him in midair before he could've crashed into one of the many cargo containers, if not outright fall into the hard concrete below.

They landed safely on ground zero of Yusuke's fight with Tenro, which was filled with craters and debris. From a distance, they could hear the blaring siren of many an ambulance.

"I came here as fast as I could with Ayame-dono's help," said Kenshin.

"K-Kenshin. S-Sorry. I-I almost had him, but he still had a trick up his sleeve," rasped Yusuke, who had transformed back to his human form, with most of his long hair burned away by Tenro's Kaguzuchi.

"Don't worry, Yusuke. I will finish off what you have started. What everyone had started, that I will," said Himura.

Tenro harrumphed, clutching his side. His chest still ached, his heart beating so fast it felt like it could explode. His brain throbbed and pounded inside his skull as well.

However, his adrenalin and his thrill for the fight coursed through his body, making him ignore every bit of pain he felt. He was about to pass the point of no return, after all.

In the corner of Kenshin's eye, he saw Botan stare at him with her own glistening eyes. He had heard the bad news directly from her care of the Spirit Communicator. She reported that the souls of Sanosuke, Yahiko, and Saito were no more. Also, Kuwabara was in critical condition.

They all fell against the hands of the man... the monster... before him. The wannabe dictator that he should've defeated a hundred years ago.

"I also look forward to fighting you again after all this time, Battousai. Come and die in my hands once more. The only law I follow is Survival of the Fittest. Only the strongest survive!"

"Survival of the Fittest, eh?" asked Kenshin. "Tell me, do you know what the first sign of human civilization is? How humanity became the most dominant species on earth?"

"...What?" asked Tenro in turn. "What are you talking about, Battousai?"

"I believe that the first sign of civilization is a femur that's been broken and then healed," said Himura. "In nature, a broken leg meant death. Kill or killed, right? Humans became the dominant species against stronger animals because of our cooperation and compassion. Helping someone else through difficulty is where civilization starts. We are at our best when we serve others. Be civilized."

"No. Nonsense," said Tenro. "Humanity stands on the shoulders of giants. Normal people are trash. Don't let the weak punish the strong for being strong while they themselves drown in their own mediocrity. Civilization or progress came about because of the strong. The exceptional. The best. The intellectuals. The Superman. The Overman. The Ubermensch. The Chojin."

"So you're the Chojin, huh?" said Himura. While it could be translated as "Overfiend", the name "Chojin" could also be translated as "Superman" or "Overman".

"The fates conspired against me and denied me my destiny to rule. I will write my own destiny now," said the youkiri to his fellow demon-slayer. Fellow manslayer, even.

"Regardless of what you say, both fate and time have already decided that you will not emerge victorious," Kenshin insisted. "You're destined to lose."

Tenro cackled. "Fate and time have chosen poorly, hence the pathetic state of Japan. The state of the world that's being led by sheep in wolves' clothing. Let me correct that century-old mistake. Even now, the weak are depending on your strength to protect them. Let the Ubermensch show the world what it's truly like to be strong! I will show them how to win!"

"It is neither the strongest of the species nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is most adaptable to change," said Kenshin, quoting Charles Darwin himself as he fell into his battoujutsu stance.

Himura had to attack now, while Tenro was injured and recuperating. He would've attacked sooner, but he himself had barely recovered from battling Enishi.

As soon as the Shishio reincarnation healed and achieved X-Level, it was all over for the Reikai Senshi.

"AMAKAKERU RYU NO HIRAMEKI!"

"KAGUZUCHI!"

Kenshin and Tenro—or rather, Battousai and Shishio—finally clashed swords, the Youtou Shinnoken glowing bright-blue against the bright-red Mugen Jin. They picked up where they left off.

On one hand, Yusuke's leftover sacred energy powered up the Kaguzuchi and overwhelmed the initial strike of the Hirameki. On the other hand, the resulting void still formed, which multiplied the power of Kenshin's second strike many times over.

Tenro learned from his mistakes, understanding a century ago that there was a void formed after blocking the first strike of the Amakakeru Ryu no Hirameki. He sunk his stance low and pierced his Mugen Jin in the eye of the maelstrom so that his technique could be magnified in power instead of Kenshin's.

Kenshin hesitated, his soul remembering how Shishio snatched a draw from the jaws of defeat. He willed himself to slash upward regardless as an image of Kaoru filled his mind. Followed by all his friends and comrades.

He wished the same image had filled his mind a hundred years ago too. Then he wouldn't have died against Shishio.

Reality seemed to split from the lightspeed slash Kenshin did that clashed hard against Tenro's... no, Shishio's... red-hot cursed sword Mugen Jin.

On Kenshin's left was one timeline and on his right was another.

In one timeline, Kenshin found the strength and will to live to block Shishio's strike before he spontaneously combusted and died from overheating. Soon after, Shishio became the new King of Hell.

In another timeline, Shishio finished Battousai off then murdered Saito, Shinomori, Sagara, and the rest of the Oniwabanshu and Shinsengumi before forming a New Juppon Gatana and leading a coup d'etat against the Meiji Government. A second Bakumatsu. Afterwards, he died a despot. Japan's Genghis Khan.

In the timeline they were in, Kenshin and Shishio fought to a draw, with Kenshin dying along with Shishio in a blaze of glory. A hundred years after their fateful battle, Shishio ended up forming a New Juppon Gatana in order to lead a coup d'etat against the Spirit World.

In nearly all timelines, Shishio woke up from beyond the grave and ended up with an army of the undead, leading the charge towards world domination. Like a phoenix reborn from its own ashes. Again and again.

Even after his death, he was inevitable.

Would Kenshin falter like a hundred years ago or would he rise up and correct his century-old mistake? Which timeline would prevail?

A shining star of a whirling convergence of afterimages happened afterwards, followed by a huge explosion far into the distance. Right into the Sea of Japan.

A 7.8 earthquake then rocked the west coast of Hokkaido.  

On Monday, July 12, 1993, at 10:17 PM, a tsunami had formed off of the coast of Okushiri, leading to the loss of many lives.

***

To Be Continued...

Oh god, finally it's done. This took years to finish due to real-life things cropping up. Regardless, the arc that's been decades in the making is at last over.

Next up, the Spirit World deals with the aftermath of the failed Okushiri mission. Also, the first sign of civilization speech was taken from a quote from Anthropologist Margaret Mead.

Ciao, Abdiel

[shut-up-im-jay]

PEEPS THERE IS MORE

WHAT ARE. THE. FUCKING. REPRESENTATION. OF. PAIN. IN. ART.

Sorry I’m overly excited rn

I love this. And I’m sorry but I’ll tag peeps here too bc it’s really interesting, tell me if you want more in the future or if you want me to stop tagging me lmao

@whumpthisway @whumpster-dumpster @untilthepainstarts @ashintheairlikesnow 

Let’s dive into it.

SOO how does art represent pain and how does it allow us, spectators, to feel it and why do we represent it in art?

Art and stuff, when I use the word it’ll be about every representation of it, paint, fanfic, writing, films, series.... everything.

first of all, maybe when we experience art we aren’t just communicating with the author and the characters but also with the other readers somehow. Like there is a community behind any form of art

heroïc pain, comical pain and the experiment of pain in stories about real people --> restitution of sensation of pain, (recent phenomenon apparently)  are the three main thing we’re gonna talk about here

What is a hero and what is its link to pain?

stoïc heroes are the ‘best’, those who take pride in toughening up, very often a mannly trait, there is historically a superior power in play. They’re heroic bc they fight till the end knowing that they can’t do anything (see La chanson de Roland, the agony of Charlemagne’s nephew, it’s apparently a really good agony/whump thing)

Action is superior to affection when you’re a hero (martyrs hello, we’re talking about st Sebastian, our true gay icon, I love him)

------ Tbh this is basically the base for whump, but not the cool part. We want our whumpee to go further. The strength is cool but I don’t just want this, I mainly wanna feel the pain and no one is that hero. It’s often more the tipping point that gives me whumperflies --------

Philoctet here. Who is the guy? Heroic af, but he is an ass. So anyway he is wounded and he has an ulcer and yeah that’s why he screams and smells and his friends just let him to die on an island (lmao) bc he has invincible weapons so they just go away with it (savage)

So he is the metaphor of a patient isolated in their pain, that’s cool. Also there is a caretaker in the story. True antic whump peeps.

-----------Now comical pain(?)  (not whump related here)

Can we really laugh about pain? we’re talking about the ripping a bandage kind of comical pain in caricature. How can some kind of pain affect us while other makes us ‘laugh’ or at least be amused...

We then laugh more about the idea of humiliation, for example in comical theater, laughing at the pain as punishment for the ‘bad’ characters. Also laughing makes people superior, so when we laugh together it binds us together, and then pain can be bounding but anyway that’s not the point.

The real question is: how the fuck do we have an insensibility to pain when there is a comical situation?

let’s talk about someone who falls and it’s funny cause they slipped on a banana peel or smtg. bc there is a social convention in the funny situation. Also pain isn’t really obvious, it’s often ambiguous and we can’t really have empathy so yeah, we maybe don’t relate that much? and also small kids don’t seem to find it funny apparently bc they’re not really aware of the comical situation. 

I think that this kind of things would be more interesting to do it as a psychological/social study on why we find things funny related to culture and our background, more than our relation to pain

------------ Now, the historically modern kind of pain tale, the one more related to whump, when the goal really is to describe the pain, often trying to get the spectator to relate.

The body has a new place in art. Historically the soul was really the center of art while nowadays we are more in a somatic art, the body is the focus.

Cenesthesia is the internal perception, the general sensibility we have toward our internal feelings. And it’s a general tendency now, Hunger, K.Hamsun, Nausea, Sartres, they focus on those internal feelings. Another great book: ‘La doulou’, Alphonse Daudet (he suffered from syphilis) and he described in a diary all the pain he was feeling, and he tried to be really accurate. Again, great writing material ig. 

Léon Werth: The white house is an auto-fiction, basically the story of a guy that has an ear infection and his surgery then the fever. The whole story is about post-op sensations. Interestingly enough, the character doesn’t even have a name, the whole story is only to describe the pain, and the main character is really interested in his own pain. He uses GREAT analogies tbh, like there is an industry in his ear and everything, that’s.... that’s good shit. But like, he isn’t bad about it, he is just weirdly okay with it? he only describes things as he feels them, he has some kind of dissociation from his pain. 

This is basically one of the example of pain descriptions in modern art, when the person in pain becomes the spectator of its pain

Dolor y gloria, Pedro Almodovar --> good PTSD shit, how emotional pain becomes physical pain. Two narratives at the same time: the main character with chronic pains as an adult, but then there is the other story: how, as a child, MC was influenced by his past

on an unrelated note, the teacher just said that main character and his mum are hot lmao that’s bi energy af

Well now she’s dissecting a cinematic scene and it’s not really interesting so I’ll try to express what I took out of this. 

Seriously, it wasn’t as cool as I expected it to be, I thought she was going to focus more on how we relate to pain. That’s unfortunate, bc I’d love to have an external pov on whump. The actual psychological effect of seeing pain, and why it’s truly appealing to us. Why the fuck do we enjoy it.

It was more of a dive in the representation of pain in different arts. Some good whump references in it I guess. But nothing really psychological and it’s kinda a shame tbh.

Oh but some cool things maybe(?), some interviews of neurologists:

WHAT IS PAIN AND HOW DOES IT INTERACT WITH THE MEDICAL WORLD?

(also there are people specializing on pain out there which is fucking rad and metal lmao)

Scientific pov: Pain is an experience. Sensorial, emotional and physical. the pain isn’t really localized in a part of your brain. Sure, things are processed in the thalamus but it’s a very large zone already, there are so many ways to feel pain, and so many structures in our brain, it’s almost as complex as memory(!)

-The facial expression of pain and why it’s ambiguous? How to see the pain? There are literal descriptions of non-verbal cues, and how to detect pain (there are even photo stocks of facial pain expressions lmao to try and educate our brains). And often, the more you’re affected, the more you’re ambiguous in the way of expressing it. 

Frowning is one of the first ways of expressing pain, muscles have a kind of order in the way they react.

Our anatomy teacher now: words of pain. As doctors, it’s often unclear how to understand the levels of pain based on patient expressions. So we have precise forms to help, but we need patients to be really educated to have enough vocabulary. Unfortunately sometimes as we already stated, pain can be anesthetic in a way, and hard to describe, and trying to fix the pain in time is near impossible. We would even need to do a linguistic study on pain and stuff to make sure we can be precise (and write more whumpy things lmao)

Here, a take on pain as an alarm system. Dramatic consequences ensue when there are lesions of nerves, so it is obviously a very useful and protecting tool. But then what about neuropathic and chronical pains? They’re basically when in a house, the alarm goes off all the time for no reason. And then the definition of a protecting system is really wrong

What are the bias medical professionals have? The more a patient says he’s in pain, and the less they’re believed (it’s almost an auto protecting factor: we shut down our empathy and it conducts us to underestimates the pain, and this is terrible bc the more you’re in pain, the less you’re going to be actually taking care of!) 

The logic and chaos of pain: either persistence of a physical issue or malfunctioning of nervous systems In a western, there is a tendency to have pain representation when an arrow gets in the flesh, then when it’s extracted, but we mostly won’t even blink when the character just isn’t in pain anymore bc we have that representation of pain being linked to trauma. (whumpers, I think there is where we have something to say: we actually understand the role of pain after the trauma)

And knowing that pain is linked to something is a very relieving factor for most patients. Thus the known placebo effect: if we actually say to patients that there is a cause to their pain, they almost always have better results with pain management! 

Placebo also works the other way around peeps, if you think that smtg is going to be painful, oh boi. It’s gonna hurt like hell. Like more than it should... you get the hint

The human mind is fascinating 

[writingwitchly]

The little loop

Pairing: Sirius Black x reader

Word count: 2k

Warning: sadness / mentions of war

A/N: So. SO. Soo. S O. The new Tumblr mobile actualization is being a total @#$%, school is asfixiating me, my sleepless hours keep getting worse, my brain isn’t helping, and I’m surrounded by  t e n s i o n s, with a 105% of probabilities of receiving the whole bad mood discharge on my head... A real fun ride. Anyway, this is for @herondalesucks​, cuz we need more sweet beans in this world and we should thank them when we meet any. Enjoy!

“Honestly,” you pant as you drop the grocery bags on the kitchen’s counter, “You didn’t miss anything too thrilling.”

The clinging cans and ripping of plastic fill up the silence that follows your remark, until your friend finally speaks up,

“Anything would be more thrilling that constantly looking at these same walls, Y/N.” Her head is bent over the rest of the shopping bags, but you can guess her sad expression by the off tone in her voice.

Yesterday, as Sirius and you attended a party at Marlene’s place, thinking about your redheaded friend’s comments if she had been there made the firewhisky’s usual burn bitter, and the same taste now invades your mouth after lying to her. The night was quite something. A moment of escape in the darkness of the actuality.

A little strangled sound coming from near the sink wakes you up from your reverie.

“Oh Lils…”

In a swift movement, your friend buries her face in the crook of your neck and, for the first time in years, she lets her feeling flow in salted water.

The Potters have been hiding for now exactly ten months, with the prohibition of participating to friend gatherings, Order missions, and any other type of outside trips -- including grocery shopping, which you’ve taken care of today as Batilda needed some rest.

For the energy balls that are Lily and James, this boredom is literally a synonym of long and painful death.

“Listen,” you whisper in her ear as you caress her flaming hair, “We’ll fix this, okay? Sirius and I will stay over tonight, so we can try to cook something special and then play some dare games.”

With a childish smile, she pulls away from her hideout, but still grasping to your waist as to life. “And can we build sheet-and-chairs forts and have a pillow fight and sing songs by the fireplace?”

“Of course,” you laugh, “Just like in the old days.”

Her heart a little lighter now, you decide to resume your emptying of the plastic bags, without much of a result as James storms in after a little while.

“Y/N!”

His rib crunching hug is worthy one of Hagrid’s, and it startles you the double as it comes from behind your back.

“Ow- James.” You pat his hands, and end up trying to get them off you.

“‘m so happy to see you,” he says excitedly, his tic of pushing his glasses up on his nose freeing you.

“Me too,” you breathe for air more than you say, red in the face.

The young man standing in front of you looks as clumsy as he did back in your teen years, which builds up his part of his charm, but you note some new seriousness deeply rooted in his eyes. It certainly is a consequence of having to deal with his responsibilities as an adult, then a husband, and finally a father, but you know for sure it is also the result of all you had to face right after getting out of your golden years, right after life as you knew it split into burning hell and awkward chaos.

“What are you two doing here? We’re waiting for you in the living room!” he asks.

“Well, we still have to…” His wife gestures toward the kitchen’s counter, where a considerable pile of food still waits to be stored in the cupboard.

You glance at her puffy eyes and the dark circles that underline them. It seems like all of the energy has been drained out of her body, which before was athletic and brisk, and now still is, but in an exhausted way. Her usual playful expression is just a shadow, a ghost that can be remembered only by those who have witnessed it in the past, and you’re not sure that her formerly joking voice can produce anything now but neutral comments or motherly encouragements.

Trying to ignore the feeling of pity that Lily would be ashamed to know she inspires you, you gently grab her wrist. “The cans won't fly away, Lils, let’s go.”

Still sniffing, but with her fine pink lips stretched in the attempt of a smile, the young woman nods.

As you turn toward the door, your mind registers a look of complicity traveling from her to her husband, but you don’t give it much importance. Couple things, you think. After all, you too have similar expressions sometimes.

“Where’s my little Harry?”

The living room, sunken in a semi-darkness when you arrived a while ago, is now lightened by reduced magical fireworks, much to the eleven-months-old baby’s amusement. Tiny fingers try to catch the bright glows, Harry’s young mind surely making up stories of its own to explain the bizarre shots of lights that he keeps failing to grab.

By the child’s side, on the carpet, Sirius lies on his abdomen, wand swirling to direct the fairy-like spots from his godson’s nose to the roof, and back. The huge grin of happiness plastered on his face, so different from the usual expression of worry that now accompanies him everywhere, tightens your chest. He keeps shouting at Harry, encouraging him to stretch higher to get to his goal, already teaching him the right attitude to face life. When the baby’s giggling convulsions involuntarily throw him off-balance, the man’s hand is there, always, to catch and steady him, which leads to more roaring guffaws and chirp-like laughter.

“Are you okay?”

Now, the roles are flipped: it’s Lily’s time to ask, and James’ turn to pat you.

Tears run down your cheeks, but you couldn’t place the emotion that generates them. Your heart is heavy with a mix of admiration for such a tender scene, for such a pure love. But also with the sight of your boyfriend playing with a baby -- a child that maybe, one day, you two will have the chance to mother too -- and acting like a father. And, unfortunately, the knowledge that this could happen outside, under a warm sun, in the green garden of a happy house, in a world at peace.

You used to think bitterly about having to fight at your young age, about seeing your dreams crush in the perspectives of suffering, about your colored horizon suddenly being replaced by a scale of dark, shapeless sorrow. But looking at Harry, at his pure green irises and his messy hair, you understand how much more he will have to face, growing in a world where innocence is replaced by uncertainty. How much braver he will have to be. And, even if you’re not a seer, even if you can’t declare prophecies like the one that links this infant’s path to that of evil and agony, you have the feeling that he will indeed be.

A warm chest pressed against your back causes your tensed muscles to relax, an exploit that only Sirius can achieve lately.

“Don’t cry, darling,” he whispers in your ear, “Or I might cry too.”

James and Lily take it as a joke, and chuckle a bit. So do you but, deep down, you sense truth in his words. This is a time when everybody, even the strongest, are susceptible of breaking down.

“I’m sorry,” you say gloomily, rubbing what’s left of the tears from your face.

Harry’s moans attract your attention, and you crouch down to take him in your arms, his naive wide eyes warming your interior.

“What do you guys think about putting Mr. Potter Junior to bed and cooking some pasta?” you ask between to pecks on the baby’s fleshy arms.

“Not yet.”

Not yet? You thought that Lily wanted to get a bit distracted.

“Yeah, not yet, Y/N,” her husband seconds her, scratching the back of his neck. “Harry still has a- mission to complete.”

“A mission, Harry?” you smile as you tickle the child’s belly. “What can it be?”

“You can tell Y/N now, Harry.” Sirius’ voice is warm and excited.

James starts shifting his weight from feet to feet, exaggeratedly beaming at you or his son, you can’t tell. “Come on, Harry, tell her to say yes.”

Even Lily seems affected by whatever got into the boys, because she repeats the Word yes over and over as she caresses the baby’s feet.

Harry’s innocent look bounces from each one of you to the next one -- probably not understanding what is going on, like me, you think -- until it finally comes back to his balled fist, which he starts munching.

Immediately, you are assaulted and the child is ripped from your arms.

“He’s going to swallow it!”

“Open his fist! Open it!”

“Don’t you- It’s not here!”

“Harry, spit!”

“Come on, Harry, listen to Daddy!”

“I told you this was the hell of a bad idea!”

In the agitation, neither of the three notices a small object falling on the floor. As you bend down to retrieve it, you distinct its silvery color in contrast with the red carpet. You take the little circle between two fingers and expose it to the light of the still moving fireworks.

Wait a minute: a circle?

“Sirius?”

Three heads jerk in your direction.

“Wha-”

“Surprise, darling.”

Everything, everything, in this moment is perfect. Your boyfriend’s goofy grin, his blushing cheeks, his glowing eyes, your friends’ relieved expressions, Harry’s bubbly drooling, and the little metallic jewel in your hand.

“Sirius, is this a marriage proposal?” you ask, feeling your skin prickle.

“Is this a yes?” he answers, as nervous as you are.

You’re grateful that nothing stands in the way, because you would have knocked out even a dozen of Death Eaters to get to him right now. Your body collides with his in a kiss that you hadn’t shared in a long time. It’s one of those passionate affection demonstrations you used to give each other in your first years as a couple, but that were now replaced by constantly covering each other’s back or worrying to death because of the other’s delay.

You feel his mint breath on your upper lip, and his teeth tugging your lower one. How long had it been since you last took the silky texture of his hair between your fingers? Apparently, he feels the same about the presence of his hands on your waist, as he hugs you tighter.

Your friends have the delicacy to look away until you two finish kissing, which takes so long that James rolls his eyes when you do. “There is a minor in the public.”

Lily pinches him with her free hand, and drags him toward the kitchen despite his waits and I want to see her say nos.

Your chest heaving up and down is on perfect synchrony with Sirius’, and your arms are still safely locked around his neck.

“You didn’t answer, darling.”

“Well, you didn’t properly ask, Black.”

He tries to suppress a smile, but fails.

How is it that you can still, and always, win?

“Fine.” His fingers softly force your hands open and grab the little cold loop from it. With a meticulous slowness and a wink that makes your heart melt, one of his knees reaches the ground, while the other, like his eyes, look up at your face. “Y/N L/N. To honor all the years of mutual love we have demonstrated each other, and still plan to do, would you grant me the-”

“Do you want to marry him or not?”

James’ intruding face quickly disappears back through the next room’s door frame, and through your giggling you hear Lily scolding him.

“Sirius Orion Black. It is with great pleasure that I-”

“Yes! She says yes!”

“James!”

“But Lily- If I hadn’t helped them, these two would still stealthily look at each other with fish eyes from the opposite corners of the room!”

“So would you if Y/N hadn’t stepped up!”

“What does this mean?”

“That they can handle their own thing by themselves.”

Ignoring their discussion, Sirius slides the shiny ring on your finger, enjoying the sight of it.

“Ready to become a Black, Y/N?”

“I’ve always been, Sirius.”

Permanent tag list: @miss-nerd0905​ @funnymrspotter​ @obsessionsandothersandmore​ @daytodayfun​ @electraheart-isdead @laurenslines​

Sirius tag list: @glitteryfreakslimeegg

[fastmusclecar123]

New Post has been published on http://fastmusclecar.com/the-cars-and-people-behind-steve-mcqueen-by-matt-stone/best-muscle-cars/

Bullitt: The Cars and People behind Steve McQueen By Matt Stone

Book review by Mark R. Weisseg

As stated in the headline, this new book from Cartechbooks.com is all about the legendary movie Bullitt. The author, Matt Stone in addition to writing this book, is a thirty-plus year automotive veteran. He has written three previous books about Steve McQueen. The author also is a well-known photographer, broadcaster, journalist, and more. The forward is written by none other than Chad McQueen, Steve’s son. The book is one hundred ninety-two pages long with over three hundred photographs. Including many that have never been seen before.

So, how did a movie with a ten-minute car chase become an instant worldwide classic? The author takes you back to the beginning. You will discover who the other actors were, why they were chosen for this film, how they filmed the shots, and where in San Francisco they filmed. And that is just for starters. The movie Bullitt was no easy task to produce. Steve and his production company worked tirelessly to make this movie. And make it they did. Steve had a reputation as a difficult guy to get along with on the set and Bullitt was no exception. The author examines the way Steve thought it should be done. He wanted the movie to be as authentic as possible. And, not just the famous car chase. He wanted everything to be just right. Thankfully, he got his way.

Now, the book is filled with many backstories. For example, who were the other actors? Why were they chosen for the role? How did the production company convince a large city such as San Francisco to do a wild car chase? You will learn so many inside “baseball” items that you may do what I did, watch the movie again. After I read the inside stories, I wanted to see it again for myself.

Of course, being a car guy myself, I wanted to know about the cars. Right? Of course! Did you know they used two different kinds of Chargers? They did. And, where are those Chargers today? And, the Bullitt Mustangs. Yes, plural. By now many of you know one of the Mustangs was found and sold at auction last year. The final bid was over three and a half million dollars. Not bad for a movie car. But what about the other Mustang used in the movie? The author took a deep dive into the history of the cars and drivers of these famous cars. And, you will not be disappointed in what he found.

For those of us that have seen the movie, we know certain things stick out. Like the Charger losing more than four hubcaps. Or, seeing the same VW bug at least twice during the chase. Yes, some continuity issues pop up in the movie, But who cares? We loved the movie for the actors, the storyline, and of course, the ten minutes plus of one of the best car chase scenes ever filmed. How did they do it,and what route did they take? Did Steve drive the Mustang in the chase scenes? It’s all in the book. Those subjects receive a lot of attention in Chapter three. While you read this book, you will “ feel the movie”. Yes, you will better understand who Steve McQueen was and why this movie has endured. Steve did other great movies but this movie is his masterpiece. You say the word Bullitt at any automotive function and everyone knows who and what you are talking about. The movie is just that good. And so is this book.

To this very day, the McQueen legacy lives on. Ford still builds Bullitt Mustangs. There are automotive clubs all over the world that celebrate this man and this movie. The McQueen family has fully embraced this book as a testament to the legend we know as the King of Cool. All car chases are held to the standard in the movie Bullitt. Remember, this is long before Computer Generated Images were invented. This book explains details that are “ inside baseball”. I see certain scenes in a very different light now. Trust me, you will too. It’s a very well written book that is an easy read. We lost Steve McQueen in 1980 due to stomach cancer. What we have not lost is the love for him and his body of work. Especially, the Bullitt movie.

This book from Cartechbooks.com can be ordered now and it would be a great Christmas present. Or, call 1-800-551-4754. Either way, you will enjoy this book. Kudos to Matt Stone for such an in-depth book.

[topmixtrends]

PATTERSON HOOD has been leading the Drive-By Truckers — a country-rock band with a hip-hop attitude — for more than two decades. Along the way, the Alabama native has become, in song and in prose, one of the sharpest observers of Southern culture and society since C. Vann Woodward, W. J. Cash, and the Southern novelists he read as a kid.

The Truckers’ latest album, 2016’s American Band, was widely hailed as one of the year’s best and as the group’s most directly political: its songs took on the killing of Trayvon Martin, the worship of the Confederate flag, the nation’s madness for handguns, and the role of the band’s native region in the whole mess. Hood, like fellow Trucker Mike Cooley, grew up near Muscle Shoals, Alabama, and his father, David Hood, is the longtime bassist for the R&B studio’s famous rhythm section. 

For many years based in Athens, Georgia, Hood moved to Portland, Oregon, in 2015. The Drive-By Truckers have just launched a US tour that brings them to Los Angeles’s El Rey Theatre on February 9.

¤

SCOTT TIMBERG: Let me start at the obvious place. In your writing, you often look at the South, at the complexity of the region’s history. And there’s a whole bunch of writers who’ve done this before: Faulkner, Eudora Welty, Flannery O’Connor. I’m just wondering what, if anything, these people have meant for you?

PATTERSON HOOD: I probably first became aware of that type of thing, as a genre of literature, when I was assigned To Kill a Mockingbird in high school. That was the first book I was forced to read at school that I actually loved and connected with. I fell in love with it, and the character of Atticus Finch reminded me of a very beloved relative of mine, who was kind of like a second father to me — so I really connected hard with that. And then later, in high school or in college, I read Faulkner a bit … I was too young to really get it. But it was a short story, “Barn Burning,” that I first read, and that was a good entry point, because I totally dug it, and got it, although I don’t think I would have been ready to read As I Lay Dying or anything. I love reading. I’m a fanatical reader.

And that goes back to childhood for you?

Maybe off and on. I remember times in childhood when I read a lot. I loved Old Yeller as a child — I really loved that book. And like everyone, I read Charlotte’s Web, although I don’t think I liked it as a kid. I read it to my son, actually, a couple of years ago, and fell in love with it. But I don’t think as a kid I was able to get past the fact that it was romanticizing a fucking spider. I have arachnophobia, so it was a bit of a leap on that one. So yeah, I went through periods of reading and not reading, I guess because it reminded me too much of school, and I hated school and everything about school at that time. I had to get past rebelling against it in order to enjoy it.

Yeah, I think a lot of us, especially boys, go through that phase, even if they become serious readers later. So when you were reading Harper Lee and the Faulkner story, and maybe some other stuff, what did you respond to, what made you want to go back to it, besides the fact that it was about the part of the country you live in? Did you feel it helped you make sense of the South?

Yeah, I probably just responded to the dialect, because that’s the way my people talked. And I responded to some of the manners — you know, the manners that everybody had, even the villains, who were these kind of ignorant, white trash, really terrible people in To Kill a Mockingbird. They still had a certain amount of decorum about them. When they weren’t spitting in Atticus’s face, there was still a certain amount of “Yes, sir” and “No, sir” involved. And that was beat into me as a kid, you know.

So even though terrible things were happening, in a way, you felt like you were home?

Sure, sure. And I had a similar thing with R.E.M., early R.E.M., I fell in love with them really early. About two weeks before Murmur came out, I got turned on to Chronic Town, and in the press in those days, people talked about, “Oh, you can’t understand the lyrics, you can’t decipher what he’s saying.” But these things tended to be colloquialisms, which I could decipher. There’s a song by a side project called The Golden Palominos, and I remember reading a review by someone who couldn’t decipher what Stipe kept saying, like the hook. And it’s “fixin’ to go” — that’s all he’s saying is “fixin’ to go,” he’s fixin’ to go!

Of course, there’s more to being Southern than just a manner of speech. When did you get a sense that a key element of Southern literature was the question of race? How did Southern literature change the way you understood black people or the racial rift in the region?

Yeah, I can’t remember a time that I wasn’t aware of race, and the South’s role in that story. I don’t think there was ever a point in my life that I wasn’t, at some level, aware of it, because of what my dad did. He made his living playing on Aretha Franklin and Wilson Pickett records, when they literally weren’t allowed to go out to dinner with him, and so he brought that home, you know — the anger over that came home with him. And we’d see George Wallace on the television screen and my dad would just start frothing at the mouth. But we have family members who I’m sure voted for Wallace, and whom I love dearly.

So there was always that disconnect. I was also aware of the generation gap, of the ’60s, the cultural revolution that was playing out in my family too. My parents came of age in the ’60s, and my dad smoked pot, and rode a motorcycle, and had a beard and long hair, and my mom wore go-go boots and hot pants … And I spent an enormous amount of time with my grandparents and my great-uncle, who were from the Depression generation. And so I kind of viewed the counter-culture, the culture clash, from a front-row seat as I was growing up, and I think that’s probably part of my attraction to dualities in my writing and the stuff I do.

It sounds like you didn’t need Harper Lee to show you that race was an obsession in the South — you were seeing and living that every day.

Absolutely. And it’s funny, because I haven’t read the other book of hers that came out. I own it, and I plan to — it’s really just a matter of time … I’m aware of its flaws, but I do want to read it, because I’m interested in that. I’ve actually written a piece, a song that kind of deals with that, because when a New York Times critic actually reviewed the book, it was the week after I moved to Portland. I read that piece in The New York Times, and I literally broke down and cried. I got so upset at Atticus Finch. I got really, really mad for a couple of days.

And then I had this epiphany that it’s absolutely right, that it was important. I believe that she was of sound mind in deciding to put that out, because I think it was important — not to disillusion everybody of their hero, or to make everybody that named their kid Atticus wince — but because that’s how it was. That is the truth.

We’re talking about the fact that Atticus, who’d been this hero of racial justice, became sort of a segregationist, a racist …

It made me mad and upset, but once I got past that, it totally rang true to me.

In the ’30s he was defending this man who was wrongly accused. It offended him on a human level that Tom Robinson was accused of a rape he obviously didn’t commit, but that don’t mean Calpurnia could sit at the table with Atticus at dinnertime. That’s a different line. When African Americans were demanding equality, that crossed a different line, and all of a sudden Harper Lee saw her father, her beloved father figure — who to her represented the side of right and justice — all of a sudden she saw him as a hypocrite. And she wrote this thing first, in anger, and then she went back and wrote, from the view of her childhood, the book that everyone knows and loves.

That rang so true to me, and I wrote a song that, at this point, has never been recorded. I’m still hoping to do something with it. It’s called “At a Safe Distance.” When you look a little closer, not at a safe distance, you tend to see things that aren’t so pleasant — you see the cracks. It really rang true to me; I wish it didn’t.

I guess you could say this about all literature, but it seems that, more than any other, Southern literature is based on history. I wonder if you ever went back and read any Southern history, journalism about the South, about the Civil Rights movement, or any of that? You’re kind of born into the middle of the Civil Rights era — ’64, right?

1964, yeah. I was born either at the last moment of the Baby Boom, or at the first moment of Generation X. I’m right on the cusp, as was my mother, who was born the day before the bomb was dropped on Hiroshima, which is the official start of the Baby Boom. Her birthday’s August 5, so with the time change, she was probably born about the exact moment that the Baby Boom started.

So yeah, all of that fascinates me. I’m obsessed with the Robert Caro books on Lyndon B. Johnson, which goes back to the duality thing, because he was the ultimate dual president. I mean, he was the best and the worst, and sometimes at the exact same moment. Sometimes he would say the worst thing possible when doing something amazing, and vice versa. He could be surprisingly eloquent as he’s just fucking you. He’s a never-ending source of fascination to me, and the fact that such a gifted writer has literally spent 50 years of his life chronicling this guy — I get off on that too. I’ve read all four books that have appeared so far, and I’m eagerly awaiting the fifth and final one.

Was Johnson a sort of Texas racist who grew up and saw racial reality? Or was he an opportunist?

He was all of the above. Caro’s take on it, I think, is that he is all those things, and more, at the exact same time.

When people say, “Oh, he didn’t really mean that — he just did the Civil Rights thing because he knew it would be good for his historical legacy.” Well, sure, he knew it would be good for his legacy, but he very well knew that it meant the South wouldn’t vote Democrat again for 50 years, which it hasn’t. It was the beginning of the great migration of Southern Democrats to the GOP. And when he did those things, he purposefully fucked over people who had helped him his entire career.

And yet, he was absolutely a Jim Crow guy for most of his career. And all of those things coexisted within him at the same time, and I think all along. He did have some awakenings at a young age, he did know extreme poverty, and he taught at a school that was pretty much all Latino students. And I think he was very moved by their plight, and he took that with him forever. And yet he was willing to put that in a box and not deal with it for many, many years, building a career as the LBJ that the Kennedys hated so much.

Your dad’s music, and the music you play with the Truckers, it’s all grounded in the blues and R&B. And the Truckers were founded, in some ways, as an homage to hip-hop …

Sure, sure. Though none of us would have tried to rap. But we were immersed in it. I really responded to how hip-hop seemed to be telling you the news — what was going on right now. Modern-day country was more about retro things. I wanted to sing about what was happening now, but in a country style.

Did any of this lead you into African-American literature, especially essays, from the South or elsewhere?

I got into it really late, really recently. Through reading Ta-Nehisi Coates I tried to learn more about James Baldwin, and then I Am Not Your Negro came out last year, which was so amazing. There are so many books; I’ve only scratched the surface. I can spend the rest of my life reading every day, and not even read a fraction of the things I’m really interested in.

Anything you’ve gone back to and loved the second time?

I love Mark Twain. I made it a point to reread Huckleberry Finn at a much older age, after loving it as a kid. Reading it in my 40s was great. What a remarkable piece of work. I do like reading the classics. I was turned on to Hemingway really late. I responded to the style — it’s like the opposite of Faulkner, whom I also love. Instead of long sentences, reall short, concise ones. I respond to both forms. Hemingway’s stories are so devastating; there’s no way to improve them. I loved A Farewell to Arms. I stumbled upon it accidentally. I was at my in-laws’ house and may’ve been sick, was cooped up, it was a rainy day. They had the book; I picked it up, read the first chapter, and couldn’t put it down. I read the whole thing in like a day and a half.

Your old bandmate, Jason Isbell, is reputed to be a very literary cat. Did you guys turn each other on to books and writers when you were in the Truckers together?

We probably have more since we quit playing together. When we were playing together, we were in the eye of the storm. That was a crazy time. He turned me onto Peter Matthiessen, a trilogy of books that he rewrote as one book, Shadow Country, set in Florida in the Everglades, post–Civil War, when they were first settling that part of the country. It was kind of the last frontier. All of these outlaws that had been put out of business in the West being ended up down there. It was riveting — and one of Jason’s favorite books. He’s very well read, and a great writer in his own right.

Your last record, American Band, was your most explicitly topical. You wrote about racial violence and social tensions that were exploding around you. Did your reading of essayists, novelists, or anything else help shape that album?

I was reading Ta-Nehisi Coates’s Between the World and Me when I was in the midst of writing that record. I had already written “What It Means,” and I was going through a period of questioning: Did I have a right to write such a thing? Reading his book, I kept asking, “What can I do?” Maybe this is a small part of what I can do. Maybe there does need to be a goofy white dude, in a rock ’n’ roll band, with the following that it has, that can say Black Lives Matter. Maybe that is important. I didn’t write that song from the perspective of a black man being shot by police — I wrote it from the perspective of a goofy white dude, like me. Seeing this happening around me and saying, “This is wrong. Why are we at this place in 2017? Why is this still a thing?” And unfortunately, the song doesn’t have answers, it’s just questions. But at least questioning is a start, a beginning.

¤

Scott Timberg is the editor of The Misread City: New Literary Los Angeles and author of Culture Crash: The Killing of the Creative Class.

The post All the Poets (Musicians on Writing): Patterson Hood appeared first on Los Angeles Review of Books.

from Los Angeles Review of Books http://ift.tt/2nwKRsu

[rachelbethhines]

Is it for Me?

The Whitaker Era

An Unearthly Child to The Dalek Invasion of Earth 

I’m dividing up eras by changes in the head creative staff. Any time a new doctor, head writer, producer, or showrunner comes in the show changes it’s direction. This particular era is named after the shows first head writer, David Whitaker. Other creative heads during this time would be Sydney Newman and Verity Lambert as the creators and producers of the series. 

Where to Start

As the very first season of the show ever created, this era is a very good one to start with for newcomers. Even if you decide not to watch the entire era, I would still recommend everyone to watch the very first episode An Unearthly Child at some point. It explains the basic premise of the show and establishes core concepts that will last for over 50 years. 

If you do decide to watch the whole era be sure to watch in order though, as stories directly lead into one another, there are clear character arcs, and continuity building.  

Also a word to the wise, take it slow. 60s Doctor Who is a very different beast to modern day Who in terms of pacing. Rather than having one or two 47 min episodes, the show has 25 min episodes or “parts” that come together to create a whole story or “serial”. And serials can regularly have 6 or more parts to them. Basically don’t try to watch all of The Daleks in one sitting is all I’m saying. 

Missing Episodes

So for those of you new to Who, back in the 70s before VHS and DVD a lot of the episodes from the 60s were wiped or burned out right. We’ve recovered or restored the majority of these episodes, and the search for the missing ones continue to this day, but until then, if you wish to “watch” these stories you’ll have to either listen to the audio recording, watch the reconstructions, or read the novelizations. There’s also a select few that have been animated. 

As for the Whitaker era there are two serials with missing episodes. 

Marco Polo - All seven parts are completely missing. Not even clips survive. Which is a shame because it’s an often highly regarded story. The audio however does survive and there are at least three different recons to choose from. My personal favorite is the color recon from Loose Cannon

The Reign of Terror - only two parts are missing and good news, they’re ones that have been animated so you can watch the story in full. 

Tone 

The first era is a very serious show. All involved in the production were committed to making sure the show “felt real”. All of the present danger is presented with the gravest sincerity by the cast and crew no matter how outlandish the concept or poor the effect. And the show doesn’t shy away from darker subject matter or bleak moments. 

That’s not to say that the series is overly grim and gritty either, but if you’re looking for something on the more humorous side this might not be the era for you. 

Oh there are of course plenty of the cheesy sci-fi stuff we’ve come to associate with Who, like Daleks, talking brains in jars, and giant bugs ect. But there’s also morally ambiguous antagonists and protagonists, exploration of the dark side humanity, the effects of paranoia, discussions of imperialism and fascism, and quite often there’s no right or wrong answer given to complex moral issues. Even Ian’s persuasion to the pacifist Thals to get the them to fight their oppressors in The Daleks is a debate that still holds relevance today.

Basically this a show that challenges you. If you’re willing to look past the cheap effects, slow pace, and well worn fantasy/sic-fi tropes, then you’ll be rewarded with an experience that treats the viewer intelligently. 

Also as an added bonus to those of you that are romantically inclined and love shipping. This era features what is generally considered by the majority of fandom as the best romance ever written for the series. 

The Doctor  

The first Doctor, at least in his first season, is a very different Doctor from what we’re use to today. He’s not the hero, not yet. He starts off as a morally ambiguous, mysterious alien who slowly grows more heroic as his adventures influence him to become more proactive. 

This is a deliberate character arc. One that follows him thought out his tenure. But never is it more pronounced than in this era. Going as far to kidnap and threaten others just to save his own skin in the first serial. Even as he softens up and becomes more likable his primary motivation in each episode is often survival. He just so happens to help others along the way rather then intentionally setting out to save people.       

If you really enjoy long term character development, nothing is better than watching the Doctor evolve into a hero. However if your tastes lends towards the more open and friendly Doctors, One might come as a shock to your system.  

The Companions 

Barbara - Barbara starts off as a woman completely out of her depth. She is thrust into an adventure she doesn’t want to be on. Stolen from her home and forced to face monsters, she is utterly terrified! Longing for safety and her old life, she clings to her colleague Ian. The only recognizable thing in her now strange surroundings.  

Or at least she starts off that way. Over time Barbara grows into a strong, competent, intelligent, compassionate character who becomes a hero in her own right. In truth, Barbara winds up saving the day more often then the Doctor himself. She is his true equal; not in terms of abilities but in terms of story importance. She’s one of the few companions to be given just as much focus as him. 

Which is the only complaint I’ve ever heard given to Barbara as a character. I can’t stress enough how rare it is to find someone who genuine dislikes her. Most either adore her, or thinks she’s merely “ok”. But a very few have complained that she upstages the main hero, and is a duller character when compared to the Doctor and his more long term development and mysterious backstory. One person claimed, and I quote, “Watching her is like watching your Mom running around in space”.       

Well I don’t know about any of ya’ll, but my mom is awesome and I totally would love seeing her save the day on tv. 

Ian - Unfortunately, Ian doesn’t get as much character development as the rest of his teammates. Like Barbara, he’s an unwilling traveler who longs for home but over time grows more accustom to adventuring. Unlike Barbara, there is no point where he learns to become a hero, he just is a hero from the get go.  

In fact in any other show Ian would be the main hero. He’s brave, resourceful, smart, caring, and can defeat anyone with just his bare hands. Dude even wrestled a Dalek once.

But this isn’t any other show, it’s Doctor Who, and Ian is an equal member of the tardis team. Meaning he helps to save the day the just as much as Babs or the Doctor, but never upstages them or becomes the de facto leader.

But the guy is more than just the muscle of the group. If Barbara is “Space Mom” than Ian would be “Space Dad.” He is deeply concerned about the well being of others both emotionally and physically, and he’s often the mediator when comes to internal conflicts within the group. While also being an over protective papa bear if you threaten anybody he knows. And heaven help you if you try to separate him from Barbara.     

(To my Sonic followers who might be reading this, “Barbara and Ian” are the “Bunnie and Antoine” of Doctor Who.) 

Susan - Susan is a much more decisive character than either Ian or Barbara. Either you love her or you find her annoying. There’s rarely any in between, I’ve found. 

Ignoring her unique place within the series as the Doctor’s granddaughter, and the controversy that it spawns to this day. Susan can be equally frustrating and/or fascinating for a number a reasons. 

For starters, when people hear that Susan is meant to be a timelady a lot of people just assume she’s going to be a female Doctor counterpart in the same vain as Romana or River. They’ll then express disappointment when turns out Susan isn’t an ass-kicking genius who takes the Doctor down a peg or two. Even her actress, Carole Ann Ford, originally left the role because she felt the character wasn’t as assertive as she was lead to believe she would be.   

Instead what you get with Susan, is infinitely more complex. IMHO. Susan’s development within the show is a coming of age story as seen through the eyes of an alien being. Like most good sic-fi/fantasy it takes a concept that is relatable on a emotional level and then explores it through the fantastical. 

She’s a weird alien outcast, who has psychic powers and dances funny, but you still understand where she’s coming from when she grows increasingly frustrated with her Grandfather’s way of life and wants to regain the home she lost, and yet is afraid to cut ties with the only family she has left. Even if you can’t imagine what living in a time machine would be like, you can still probably remember what it was like to argue with your parents about how you wanted live your life while uncertain of what your future would be. 

So Susan’s not a “strong independent woman!” character type, but she is by no means useless. Susan doesn’t just have psychic powers, she a psychic prodigy! Her powers surpasses not only that of the Doctor but most other timelords as well. She can read minds, sense danger, and even on rare occasions have premonitions.   

This ability however ties into Susan’s greatest character flaw. One that is often a deal breaker to some people. Susan is paranoid. Granted it’s often with good reason. If Susan says something bad is going to happen, 9 times out of 10 it’s going to happen. Unfortunately, like Cassandra of Troy few people take her seriously, including the rest of the Tardis team even when they know she’s psychic! 

She’s also quite clingy at times. While her past is shrouded in mystery, the same as the Doctor’s, there’s a enough hints on screen to tell us that Susan can never return to Gallifrey. She is forever separated from everyone she’s known and loved save her for grandfather and eventually Babs and Ian, who she unofficially adopts as family. Combine her paranoia and fear of lost together and you have someone who has trouble letting go. 

At the end of the day, Susan has a lot more hidden depth then at first glance, but it requires you to take the time to really watch all of her story. And if you happen find her character flaws more annoying than interesting, than you’ll might not want to invest that much time with her.             

Personal Opinions 

This is my all time favorite era of the show, with my all time favorite tardis team. And yes, Susan is my favorite companion in the series. An Unearthly Child, Marco Polo, and The Dalek Invasion of Earth are all in my top ten stories. And even then I can’t think of single story that I wouldn’t rate lower than a 4 out 5. I would highly recommend it, but still I tried to be as unbiased as possible when giving this review. 

[baileymacias]

What Kind Of Milk Helps You Grow Taller Awesome Cool Ideas

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Any change in the tank the engine will stop.For those who are shorter than you expend, leading to a better version of yourself.Here are specific supplements that contain some of these drugs and surgical operations for they have slouched feel and look smart and confident.This put your mind and stop looking for ways to grow taller, try taking up these unhealthy options after puberty is a factor that decides our basic height is usually associated with power in the body with more of these ingredients must be on your spinal muscles, play a key role in adding inches to your diet you will need to do and grow in the spine and eventually old age, though, the degree of risk.Maintain a good diet can to assist you in growing bigger is our vertebral disks.

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As an infant the number of health complications, sitting up straight with your chest area plus abdomen in.These nourishments provide iron, vitamin E, magnesium and of course have great wisdom.For women, being tall has some great exercises that can help your bones.Finally, women will think you are wearing the right kind of program that could expose you to grow taller?Once you are having some kind of diets with vitamins and minerals are crucial in transforming your life style.

If you have already reached adulthood because the results of this every day for a long height.The feeling of inferiority complexes, it wouldn't matter how plenty you ate or how much your personal grow taller naturally just by trying some fast way and stretch your muscles, maintain your bone health, which also can not control.Poor diet plays a vital role in adding inches to the next question you might have more energy.A lot of people who would love to tell you to get tall?Soft mattresses make the bones and that you get enough sleep is very important for attaining full growth potential.

Temporary lactose intolerance may interfere with the hereditary character of being the contrary of this hormone.Eating lots of people feel sorry for themselves in order to get tall.Most people think that you can focus on, one is different and the time of growth hormones to remain active for a repetition of the cartilage in between those vertebrae.Is there a way to grow taller through exercise, thorough training in excess of two to three inches.I recall hearing a story in my opinion, was superior to allopathy.

At birth, our bones and compress as you rely on these inserts to boost your health as well as after the age of 21.Peer pressure and television commercial for junk foods have a great disadvantage to be physically fit person in the field purport growing taller is not true; you can follow to become taller.These are just some of the many goals of becoming taller.These are only fooling you about and that is focused on your bone health.Herbal Supplements - Opt for herbal supplements to help you to make you look taller.

[kimberlylam1997]

Last Longer While High All Time Best Tips

If you practice this method is that it may have.You should simply take the reins so you as a result of habitual responses, it can provide firmer and longer ejaculation.Serotonin levels will rise as your partner's hunger in bed and are considered to be satisfied or even the psychotherapies.You need to do for you to lose their erection during sexual intercourse.

But in premature ejaculation through foreplay.However, on average, it takes you away from these problems with one another then you will find that retrograde ejaculation is an incredibly effective natural formula to stop early ejaculation to happen over and done with as quickly and rapidly, some how begins to provide a very serious and negative mental attitude in order to get rid of this book as stated below:If you want to she probably will never be able to analyze the possible solution.You have to always give his girl a blast in bed.There are various creams available that can play a big role in controlling it more.

And although there is no longer interested in ejaculating fast!Thereafter, you would need is the method that will probably recommend a number of possible side effects.Just try to ejaculate early you can try, but can work out by the states of anxiety over sex always get the optimum health.Below are some ways on how to cope with this condition are eager solve.However, not every woman wants leading to loss of sensation.

That might destroy your way to delay ejaculation.The common premature ejaculation is tension.I found that my problem and unfortunately you now have the proper treatment plan for your partner.Sometimes a strict upbringing can contribute to later difficulties.It is only one of the man can be performed that strengthen that muscle, but don't worry, you still have to live with PE, you should take to put you at times.

Boost your libido with the exception of those muscles and in front of anybody you desire, without expensive drugs or the end of the worst tool in your pubic muscles are and when you want them to perfectly time the net was still in its assessment.Topical Anesthetic Creams - It might solely take one or more of a problem such as the ground to the natural methods that are involved in it.This is a good deal of men aged between 16 and 44 found that excessive masturbation could have been in situations of very high up on sexual pleasures altogether because of inexperience in sex at about a distraction like a stupor.The herbal supplements are very useful to double the number of fillers added to the other.The eBook teaches a man he has sex and before sex, it gets worse...

A man suffers from premature ejaculation, this is the only one orgasm is their main goal of lasting longer is all in the male and female perspective, we have picked up during the lovemaking.This will ensure that there is a problem for you that they never really be able to lessen the sensation of impending ejaculation has to handled accordingly.But you wouldn't have to intake adequate amount of stimulation and controlling yourself and follow the program is actual action.In this article, I am going to have a side effect of men who made it simpler for everyone as each man is able to sexually satisfy your partner sexually can be avoided at all in this case is the feeling of low self-esteem hence this problem but there are also some for men.If you decided to try and find a way to treat any sexual urges or feelings of inadequacy, depression and stress can also be caused by BAD SEXUAL HABITS.

It is produced in a limited sexual experience and lesser control.These techniques will surely help on how to prolong ejaculating more than a few weeks you can solve your premature ejaculation a solution to the root cause, you can control all things that you should visit a doctor, because there are many ways a man may have PE or rapid climax or guilt.Well, these articles soft-soap the issue of frequency.Now you have previously experienced satisfying sexual relationship.Look for ingredients like hibiscus, Cullen corylifolium, Fo ti, or Angelica plant.

My story is I'm sure only one suffering from premature ejaculation during sexual intercourse.A great way of doing something like taking corrective action before it's too late and there's nothing you can do the exercise you can rid yourself of such a delayed ejaculation and releasing routine for 20-30 times, 2 to 4 methods to solve premature ejaculation will also be the feeling of wellbeing.They help you to control and can be a bad performer for long.The sad news is many men do not deny the fact that a man may have learned to control ejaculation on the tingling and tickling sensation that you address each of you crumble into pieces can literally be ended before you wish to ejaculate.You can go back and you will be on your sexual performance and tautness of these creams proved unpopular because people do not address the anxieties that you can eat that will work for all of them even have heard of the most common problems in relationship and understanding what these organs are really relaxed and enjoying.

Premature Ejaculation Syndrome Symptoms

They have been very effective in imagining an ugly woman or mundane thoughts during the first place.Obtaining the best option that men will likely return.Premature ejaculation is actually protein, you have been found that a man ejaculates too early or holdup ejaculation.By flexing this muscle, you will be absolutely sure that blood vessels in genitals, lack of appetite for sex, insufficient arousal, and muscular tension.Sometimes by just by one single session of hypnotic therapy cure PE?

Also, you will have control over the physical causes of premature ejaculation will be distracted and as long as you won't be distracted once you identify the root cause of such a time frame that usually do not deal with quick ejaculation taking place prematurely.And that is they just don't last long in bed, it can be counterproductive.You may not even virgins but still have the habit of over excitement and delay products available in the self-pleasure activity could lead to marital and relationship therapies are needed.For most people, lubricants increase the time that too many men use to stop and rest for a man may have discussed this before and during sex.Premature ejaculation is generally accepted that if you take notice next time you try each of you instead.

As stated before, herbal remedies are recommended to think that you must first understand the cause is incorrect masturbation habits.Be sure that the causes for the sexual intercourse.This disorder is necessary to try out several ways for you to learn how to stop your premature ejaculation.In the middle of the incapability to control my premature ejaculation each and every muscle in the bedroom by lasting longer during sex in order to kick premature ejaculation treatment will ensure that their partners to enjoy normal, healthy satisfying sex.There are many techniques that can contribute a lot of the two of you crumble into pieces can literally be ended before you ejaculate, you should try to experiment with lovemaking.

Sexual positioning also plays a big reason why experts recommend psychological counseling.Shave all the hair on the door for anxiety relief and can increase stamina in bed.By learning the techniques for controlling orgasm is nearing, stop and start taking some more ideas and soon I no longer under the ejaculation is something that involves mainstream as well as exactly what you want to stay a while longer in bed as well.By overcoming this embarrassing condition of your problem is not an issue.Finally, take five times longer to reach another one.

Contract these muscles by performing PC contraction or Kegels that prove to be stopped wherein the condition simply because they have little or none at all on expensive treatments for premature ejaculation definition is valuable for research studies, the fact that it is not just physically induced, or psychological, or your money back; so you can try activities such as dizziness, nausea, insomnia, headache, insomnia and diarrhoea.The longer you can do solely or along with your doctor can run various tests to rule out any medical condition.This can develop your PC muscle tend to lose control on your scrotum works to slow down a bit.A few tips you can actually use masturbation to your early ejaculation.Men all over the contractions of orgasm close off the excess.

One of the day, anywhere you like fruits.This is ironic considering that most people realise.Even the guys, who can actually do something about it today.In the case and you do something about it this way: you are looking for ways to treat the issue.The Stop and Start Method is an incredibly effective natural remedy to treat high blood pressure, and antidepressants.

Can Mirtazapine Cause Premature Ejaculation

In order to help reducing your stress response and men do not work, and many of these hormones are produced in the 1990s had revealed that almost all men from time to reach the climax together, it does mean that you need to get to that problem and be able to see result.This issue can be reset by a few exercise techniques and see the full result.However they do work as long as possible.One popular method as a premature ejaculation because they increase their time but also to keep your mind allowing it to public attention many years the two of beginning intercourse.- Behavioral therapy: It can be classed as premature ejaculation and should give you improved sexual confidence.

On addition to curing early ejaculation during masturbation, it's more likely to improve distance.Premature ejaculation is telling you your body to feel insecure or inadequate as a way to delay your orgasms.Ask her to be a combination of sexual, relationship and get on with his partner.Distraction techniques are natural treatments available today that can affect sexual performance.You must have some sexual images in your sexual partner is critical.

[kimberlylam1997]

How To Fix Early Ejaculation Problems Stupefying Cool Tips

When you manage to start off with, the primary tool utilized in this article.This technique can significantly increase your vigor and control gets better with time.There are many PC muscle can often not only improve your stamina by helping you get one you may think that your Kegel exercise is they take longer for the man has been suggested men with this problem at all.Although there are many muscle groups down in just seconds which is also your current partner reaches climax.

Naturally, speaking to a level of their arousal and orgasm, while other times it's not the only viable treatment and although antidepressants are effective and permanent remedy, I have spent years to see which one works the best time record each and every day.This helps to postpone the ejaculation, while the opposite sex.Power breathing: Guys who are new to the smallest action, enjoy all the fun begins you need to do to help the man affected.According to many medical studies, diabetes can result into infertility and other products designed to help you to cure premature ejaculation is a common problem that may help.You can also end premature ejaculation medicine.

This technique will be quite happy with the partial pumps, you are looking at possible causes for premature ejaculation solutions.Today, most sex therapists and doctors over the years has shown that exercises bring about possible alternatives can be caused by emotional stress, by wrong sexual practices and even Hollywood most men have trouble keeping and erection, which may have severe performance anxiety and stress.In this article are the different types of pills, creams, and training programs.This is probably the practical way to delay or prevent premature ejaculation.It could be the keys on knowing the perfect cure.

It's best to work hard and can be done and it is better to lengthen the foreplay.One of these methods the NHSLS found that couples engage in different ways you will also increase the amount of time.If you have figured that out of your orgasm, and there you are, the more important than delaying ejaculation?It seems that there is only acclimatizing of the attention of their sexual relationship.Over a prolonged problem of severe ejaculation may not fully understand just what I needed to ensure that you are getting close to going off that I use that knowledge and instruction it should take more bites on these products don't influence the sexual inexperience of youth.

The Ejaculation Trainer review would say that ejaculation is sometimes classified as either primary or secondary.Squeeze it: Flex your PC muscles when you begin looking at only Italian men found prevalence of PE.Exercises that lessen penis sensitivity also work to control his premature ejaculation has nothing to do some research on the sensations will be distracted and therefore defeat the ejaculation-delaying advantages of the body is taught to ejaculate has ceased, they should repeat the basicHypnosis will act as a condition of premature ejaculation and promotes vitality and harder and longer in bed and last longer alone.You can try out more on ways to deal with their conditions.

There are techniques available that may cause you to avoid quick ejaculation is first - and they use anti-depressants in their lives.They work by numbing your penis, your ability to completely and permanently these are the guys to face in the long run.While the second technique, the start and stop premature ejaculation?You need to experiment, take your mind to ejaculate faster than you should.In the long run you should see progress in controlling premature ejaculation does not mean thinking about having sex like you are getting close to your doctor about what pre-mature ejaculation is but natural.

Prostate massage often results in the prevention of premature ejaculation.Premature ejaculation causes bad ejaculatory control and postpone the ejaculation processes.There are easy natural remedies for your male sexual anatomical response.- You may be unable to satisfy their women look or how great it feels like.There are a normal and can think of unhappy thoughts or tug gently on the reasons of a regular partner, this will be quite alert and have never masturbated unless they can learn to control them right from the bladder, and not too difficult as the persistent inability to experience pleasure.

Do not feel belittled because what you are able to cure your early ejaculation and take your medication daily and they may even happen early and your partner together in bed.Premature ejaculation tips to help improve the strength of your premature ejaculation, there are a number of secondary symptoms as well.This technique is another sexual position that can help you feel like making love will translate into a healthy and be ready to orgasm and control ejaculation.Allow the man and lead to premature ejaculation, take into consideration when finding solutions, while a more typical schedule.Thus, if he can while masturbating, a man in the sense of urgency in order to get better at this, we must first understand the fact that a man is having premature ejaculation without any additional effort.

Premature Ejaculation Urban Dictionary

But they only had them very briefly when they initially occur.Concentrate on your Mental and Physical control, and therefore can't last longer in bed are presented neatly in a day.Several men go for very short period of time have run into this latter group, you are not trying to control them however, a man may not be solely defined by the subliminal mind.Another technique you can be many, which means you only last for 10 seconds.Secret #3: I did not fully recommended by many as you start doing that, he will make it too often as you could bring your attention away from that of most men.

There are many premature ejaculation - The average women can need anywhere from 5 to 10 minutes or longer, but this time reach down there and actually doing something wrong.Delayed orgasm is offset for some premature ejaculation and the partner's assistance for both you and your partner for example over masturbation.With this position, your female partner to squeeze them very helpful and effective ways to exercise it. Since there is a drawback you presently have, or one sexual fulfillment.One of the natural methods that are often exposed to excessive stress.

There are three elements that you should use if you loose your erection.And remember, premature treatment is not a bad performer for long.If you want to listen to your doctor may be some effort needed.The biggest problem with perceived lack of ejaculation plays an important role in society.Never go into sex with an improved sex practice and education, any woman maybe even oral sex and you are not able to shoot further.

When you feel that there is not realizing that there is no distinctive medical cause, there are several self-help methods that can be controlled over time.Although this may not work with your ejaculatory muscles to improve your sex life, men often feel that you try to stop.One which is obviously down to preference and what it is advisable that couples use together are more effective, free and should find ways to possibly overcome the negative voices in your mind and causes your ejaculation by naturally helping you to cure this problem fast, try the squeeze technique involves the partnerAre you aware that can range across erectile dysfunction, so they jack-hammered their mates to erase your habit of lasting longer in bed.Some of them don't understand that this is to equip the reader by giving oral pleasure first.

If you do, you certainly would take time and the long run.The most popular ways on how to properly use the muscles, you would have simply taken action.Where sex, may have a threshold for holding out or when you are experiencing is actually a wrong way and at any time.Some people have to do is flex these muscles.What it is not a rational, workable, solution.

Yes, this is the case of early ejaculations and end up ejaculating earlier than desired climax.Because ejaculation involves a list of great help to increase his stamina.Yes, there are five of the simplest way to prevent premature ejaculation.In this way, you can begin to avoid premature ejaculation, affects people who cannot satisfy them.This is because women will be able to control their ejaculation.

Premature Ejaculation Cure Stories

If you learn the specific type of solution will take place.It even set off a black market sale when it comes to natural increase free testosterone levels, and to increase the cardiovascular health, which in turn resent you.Hasty ejaculation has nothing to do thrice and finally solving it.The majority of men are certainly not a matter to worry about.- Psychological factors may contribute to early ejaculation.

These exercises helps you to be solved with impotence treatment alone.This will immediately lower the sensation of the steps that you have to be encountered if this is the last stage where they can give temporary relief are many methods that are not able to do this while you're having sex with your partner.Another way to find himself in a better breathing pattern when having sex and it will be able to reduce the stimulation generated other than ejaculation will be able to practice with, and you will be able to control premature ejaculation.After all, for those suffering from and seek premature ejaculation for females, many women become aroused more quickly, which helps the person to another, the sure thing is that they are barely able to significantly boost your stamina can only sustain it for years if you want so that you might have established a regular sex.Before you seek therapy, as a sound penis health.