#i uhh need to stop getting into video games a year late lol

[gb-patch]

Ask Answers: January 28th, 2021 (Part 2)

Here we’ve got asks that aren’t to ask a question but are just really nice messages. Thank you all for sending us such kind comments ;v;. It’s seriously heartwarming to see so many people having good experiences with the game. I don’t even know what to say to such sweet responses.

We’ll keep doing our best and thank you again to each and every one of you for giving Our Life a chance ❤!

Hello! I've been following this account and have been following the development of 'Our Life' for a few months now, and I just wanted to say thank you for all your hard work and dedication you have put into the game. It astonishes me how much choice you have during the sequence of Our Life and am excited to play the full version now, I am downloading it as I write this message. I've had a great time seeing the demo transition into to the full game and just wanted to write two words. Thank you.

Anhhhhffbgdfbhujk!!! Congratulations on the release, I’m playing the game right now! Thank you all for your hard work and I can’t wait for the Step 3 DLC to come out, I’ll probably wait for the Step 3 DLC to come out to experience everything, but until then, I still have a lot to play. Thank you once again!

finished my first playthrough just now. it just felt so wholesome ??? 100/10 would do it again. i laughed. i cried. i got angry. i felt second-hand embrassment— i got so into it i was left in literal tears after getting my first ending. the art, the storyline, the music, and COVE HOLDEN– UGH IT WAS LITERAL PERFECTION ❤ THE WAIT WAS WORTH IT. THANK YOU FOR MAKING SUCH AN AMAZING GAME 🥺😭 this made my 2020 better, i can't wait for step 4 in 2021 ❤❤

So I was following you guys on itchio for years and uhh did I stay up til 6 am on a school night to finish the game? Yes. Did I sob my eyes out during step 3 as a 20 year old having doubts about life and adulthood? Absolutely. I can't form proper sentences right now due to lack of sleep but just wanted to say thank you for making it. I honestly feel lighter and I feel like it changed my views on future to be more optimistic... I can't wait to replay it! Thanks again!

I love how Our Life turned out!! I keep replaying it and can't stop squeaking and giggling!! Thank You for creating it ♥

okay i have actually fallen in love with cove and cannot WAIT to marry him 😭

Hi! I played through 'Our Life' yesterday and  I just wanna say how refreshing it was to be able to have Cove be 'high initiative' and also have so many opportunities to initiate affection from the player character! As a pretty flirtatious/affectionate person myself, I notice that a lot of VNs don't give players that agency, and affection can be kinda 'carrot on a stick' if that makes sense. You guys did an awesome job! I look forward to seeing if there are more of those moments in Step 3 & 4 :)

I have to say I was pleasantly surprised by the option to choose Cove's level of initiative in step 3! As much I love the option to choose I personally enjoy have the romanced character take the lead without my input so when I got to step 3 and had to option to make it so that Cove initiated affection without as much input from me I was really happy! You guys seriously added so much freedom in terms of choices, it's almost baffling that the only thing you have to pay for is optional DLC!

I absolutely loved everything about the game and I really want congratulate the team for making the game such a satisfying experience.

I look forward to step 4

❤️❤️❤️❤️

* and sorry for my bad English

Just finished my first play through and I loved it! I've been looking forward to the game and it definitely was worth the wait. Thank you all for your hard work and can't wait for the extra dlc!

Till then, hope you guys gets some well deserved rest🤗

Love you guys, thank you so much for your hard work. :)

Ok, so I just finished Our Life and, wow. I have never cried at a video game before, ever. Thank you so, so much! Its one of my favorites.

this isn't a question, but i just wanted to say how much i enjoyed our life 🥺 i've been patiently looking forward to the full game for a few months now, and i couldn't be happier with it! i've only played through it once so far but the outcomes of the choices i made were all so soft and wholesome 💗 i can tell that everyone who was involved really worked hard and you all did an incredible job! i can't wait to see what else is in store 👍

i’d just like to say how addictive our life is!!! i constantly played it during quarantine and now playing the full release is so amazing to me!! i love that i’m still discovering dialogue bits with different personalities and actions!!! i have to admit that i’ve been wishing the day to pass faster all day during school so i could go home and play again. mentally i’m not the healthiest and our life being released has boosted it up so much, thank you for creating such an amazing game!!!!!

Hey, I just wanna say I played our life two times and it still give me the same feelings. I was really looking forward to this game before it came out and I kept on replaying the demo. This game is such an amazing experience and I feel so happy playing it. I am not really a person good with words unfortunately but I do honestly love this more than anything in the world. Thank you for making it and I hope that you will continue to make more games like our life. This game really makes me happy and I can't thank you enough

Just wanted to say that Our Life really made me feel seen as an 18 year old trans man who's been struggling with change as of late and I can't thank you guys enough for it. I just finished the main story and currently released DLC's and gosh, I can really only say... woah. Just, woah. The messages are somehow exactly what I needed to hear right now, and they brought me a lot of comfort in this really weird and confusing time in my life. Can't wait to see what comes next in this lovely story <3

I am honestly in love with Our Life. The graphics, the soundtrack its just *chef's kiss* It was so worth the wait for it. I can't wait for step 4. Keep up the good work GB Patch!

good people i have just finished Our Life and let me say, it was beautiful. rarely have such non-fantastical moments (and even some fantastical moments) brought me to tears like this game has, and i don't even have the dlc (yet). i don't know how you did it but it felt like i was playing a slice of life anime. i had waited with baited breath to play this since i played the demo and my expectations were not just met but surpassed. from the bottom of my heart thank you for this game

I found the game by chance and I am so so glad I did. It’s so inclusive and made me feel so incredibly seen. Seeing that my gender identity and sexuality were possible just meant the absolute world to me. I’ve never seen something like this and it just made me so incredibly happy. Thank you for the absolutely amazing game and I can’t wait to see what’s next.

Hello! I downloaded Our life earlier this week and I'm only now getting the chance to play it (Very busy and stressful week) I'm so excited to play and I wanna say thank you for making this adorable game!

I just finished my first playthrough of Our Life and I can't even express how much I love it. Cove is absolutely precious and has killed me several times, and the art and soundtrack is beautiful. I love all the small different choices. I'm very interested in the Derek and Baxter DLCs and the rest, can't wait!!!!!!

thank you for "Our Life Beginnings & Always" it has to be one of the best visual novels i ever have played and i just dont want it to end (i know it will, but damn it! i want to have a wedding night, have children and die of old age with cole! XD) when i play it it always makes me tear up (in a good way) and i am most definetly going to buy all the dlc that you make! thank you for this lovely game and all the work that went into it! (ps: i also loved "lake of voices" )

You guys are incredibly talented and im very proud of you all! You've really outdone yourselves w/ OL and i cant wait to see whats next to come for you all :)

i really love that you can be trans in Our Life! not a lot of games do that so i just wanted to say thank you!

Guuyyss!! I just wanna say! Thank you sm for the headscarf option in the MC creator! I especially loved that little detail where MC quickly slips the headscarf on before greeting Cove, I've never felt so immersed :'D Not that the rest of the game wasn't immersive btw, but since I wear my hijab most of the time that little addition really felt like something I would do! So thank you for that <3

I've been watching "Our Life: Beginnings & Always" development for quite some time, and I gotta say its wild to see it finally release. Its so unique in the way relationships work- even character creation. I've cried multiple times over this game while playing. I can't thank y'all enough for a game with these kind of mechanics, and representation. its rare I get to feel im really playing as myself in games like these. Everyones outdone themselves. this'll certainly be one I keep coming back to.

I've been following the development of Our Life from way back when the first demo dropped and it still blows my mind how many choices and customizations there are (love that update for the MC's bedroom btw!) and the fact that the game remembers them - it really feels like your very own coming of age story! I was so immersed I cried at the end :') Can't believe I experienced this game for free lol. I can't wait for future DLCs and Step 4! Good luck with all your upcoming projects dev team!!

Just wanted to say I love Our Life and I'm thankful it exists. Thank you so much! I love the little world you created and all the people in it. Especially Cove! This game makes me so happy!

Just poping in to say hi and that ilu guys ^^, remember to take care of yourselves!

Hi!! I just wanna thank you for creating such an amazing game. Our Life is one of the few dating sims I’ve found that let’s me be a male mc, it’s really hard to find dating sims that let me be gay. Our Life is my new favorite dating sim to just sit down and playthrough whenever I’m having a bad day so I just wanted to let y’all know how much I appreciate all you’ve done. 🤍

Fan from australia here

Just wanted to reach out and let you know how important this game has been to me. I came across it at a really rough time ( that I’m still going through ) and it’s been one of the things that’s driven me to get up and out of bed sometimes.

This game and cove both hold a very special place in my heart and I can’t wait to see more of him in the DLC and Step 4

Much love ♥️

I know this isnt exactly the main focus of the game, but i really love how we can customise the mc personality wise! This is the first time i've played a game like this where the mc actually does and says exactly what I would do and say in certain situations and its such a breath of fresh air!! It's also so cool how the other characters can pick up on it!!

Cove Holden saved 2020 (my 2020 anyways) I would die for him

Sorry for this being out of the blue, but after playing through Our Life I wanted to thank you for the experience. I don’t know if I’ve ever played a game that has made me cry happy tears TWICE lol. It’s beautiful, scenic, inclusive, and absolutely amazing..have a great rest of 2020 and I honestly cannot wait for the rest of it :,) (ps. The ending song is stuck in my head)

I think you guys might've ruined visual novels for me forever. I'm not sure I'll be able to play another without comparing it to Our Life and I know if I do that I'll be disappointed every time because of how amazing it is. I bought the DLCs before playing the base game it's one of the best impulsive purchases I've ever made

Thank you so much for making our life! It's my favorite visual novel ever and I just can't articulate how much being able to just be honest with my responses instead of going for whatever would make the love interest happy means to me? I reccomended it to evry friend I have that plays visual novels because this is the best one I've ever played!

Just wanted to say that I absolutely adore this game! The childhood friends tropes is my favorite thing and this game delivers! Cove is the sweetest thing, infact all the boys are good boys. Super excited for all upcoming dlcs!

Hi, I just want to thank you for making such an amazing game like Our Life. Tbh, I was following the game’s development for a while, but me and my family moved away from my childhood town just a few days before release, so I really connected to this game. You all did amazing!

hey just wanted to know that i completely loved ol: b&a and it was so good and love cove more than i’ve liked any fictional character, it’s now my comfort media. thank you so much

hi i just wanna say i really enjoyed all of the representation in our life b&a! there were characters with a lot of different body shapes, pic characters, lgbtq+ characters, and you get to choose your own pronouns and sexuality!!! so tysm!!

This isn't a question, I just wanted to say that Our Life is incredible. Ever since I finished it, I've been looking for other visual novels to play so I don't play OL so often that I start memorizing the lines before all the DLC comes out, but I keep coming back to it. It's really one of a kind, I think you all ruined other visual novels for me because I haven't enjoyed another VN like I have this one since I read it ❤.

i think our life b&a is the first game where i felt like cove loved me, not the character i play as which is really nice for someone with kinda low self esteem so THANK YOU

I’ve been playing Our Life practically nonstop since yesterday. I just want everyone who worked on it to know how much the LGBTQ inclusivity means to me. As a closeted trans ace guy in an unsupportive household, I can’t emphasize how much of a comfort this game has been to me. Everything about it is so wholesome and heartfelt. I’m excited to see what other games you make in the future 💙

- A demibiromantic ace transgender man who may or may not have cried over the option to be myself in a game for the first time ever

Csn i just say i really appreciate how you handled MC deciding to use they/them at different stages. Mainly because alot of games don't pay much attention to the body the mc was assigned at birth if they player chooses nonbinary like it does with male/female. And it was just nice to be able to play an mc who just thought gender was kinda 'meh' for them but still felt good about the body they were born with (like myself). I guesd it boils down I'm really appreciative of the hard work it must've taken for you to make all those options possible & still have them matter.

I just wanted to thank you all for Our Life. My mental health hasn't been in a good place recently and it has become my favorite form of escapism/way to cheer up. It's idyllic setting and fantastic characters are such a good way to wind down, I love it. Also, I've been dreading 2021 due to classes starting and general stress, but the DLC and your next project have given me something to actually look forward to :). I'm so excited for them and now I actually have a reason to be happy that it's 2021. Sorry if this message is a bit weird, I just wanted to thank the team for their hard work and for creating something so incredible <3

I've gotta say this is one of the most repayable games I've ever played, if not the most. Usually after i do a playthrough or two of a game i have to wait awhile before playing again otherwise it feels stale. But i haven't had that problem with our life because of the sheer ammount of player agency. Everyone who works on tbe game should feel incredibly proud of themselves because you've created something amazing.

I just wanted to say thank you for Our Life. I'm sure you get this a lot, but it really pulled me out of a mentally tough spot in my life. So thank you.

who needs therapy when you have our life: beginnings and always? haha no but seriously this game is my comfort game, and even though i can’t join your patreon at the moment please know i am always supporting you and i am so excited to see everything you have in store! everyone who works on the games is so so talented

All DLCs have nice content. 😡😡

And I love them all!!💗💗💗💖💖💖💕💕💕

[smallerinfinities]

Cake

a/n: when tipsy meets twitter, all bets are off

hello! I woke up three days ago like I’d been reborn in my love for this kid, so I wrote this filth 😅 i’ve posted a few times recently about this video but if you haven’t seen it, scroll my blog or search cake lol trust me it’s worth your time. 

(masterlist is linked in my description)

warnings: 3.9k of absolute filth

Movie night had ended hours ago, giving way to sleepy rideshares and drunken footsteps into the second bedroom. Brian was passed out and snoring in the giant armchair across from you. The Top Gun drinking game had gone wrong at around the eighth high five and completely derailed at the sixth “Iceman,” which became a salud of sorts in the room. Beer cans, mango White Claws, and the occasional tequila bottle littered the kitchen island.

“Psst, are you awake?” a toe poked your side from above. Shawn looked down at you with a cocked eyebrow from under his crooked elbow. You’d taken residence behind his legs, resting your head on his hip to watch the movie, bowing out of getting totally trashed. Your lips were still tingly enough to be dangerous.

“Yeah,” you croaked, clearing your throat and stretching, “I’m awake.”

“Are you suuure?” he slurred, tired and tipsy. The smirk was audible, “I thought I felt you drooling through my sweatpants.” His breath came out in a whoosh when you punched him in the abs with your outstretched arm.

“How’s that for awake, fucker?!” He chuckled and caught at your hand, unfisting your fingers and playing with them as he pulled out his phone. You let him. You even opened your hand fully so he could trace little patterns on your palm.

It had been like this for a few months, the flirting, the touching. A drunken night of 20-somethings playing spin the bottle had ended with multiple people clearing their throats with wide eyes as Shawn kissed you.

My God, he had kissed you. Fingers splayed against your neck, his lips gently interlocked with yours. It started out chaste, just two mouths touching, but as soon as he swiped his tongue across your bottom lip, it was game over. The people, the voices, your friends, all melted away and it was just the two of you. His top lip between yours. Gentle sucking pressure. His body heat radiating onto your skin. It was everything you never knew you wanted. Until Connor clapped Shawn on the shoulder and ripped him away, turning the two of you into human embarrassed laughing emojis.

Since then, it had been like this. His hand on your lower back at the coffee shop, lazy naps together after midday movies, play fighting and fake indignation after one too many shots at the bar. Your friends all shared sideways looks and snide smirks every time you hung out but you hadn’t crossed any lines again and you definitely hadn’t talked about it. Whatever it was didn’t need conversation. It was fun. It was nothing. He was busy. He was a globally-famous popstar. You were normal. The last thing you wanted was one of those embarrassing tabloid articles, “15 Things You Need to Know About Shawn Mendes’s New Fling.” So, in the quiet moments, you let him trace patterns on your palm and send shivers down to your toes.

“Hey, come up here, I’m scrolling Twitter,” he swept his fingers down to your wrist and gave it a tug, a little giddiness in his tone. He made space for you in front of him on the couch, giving you his bicep as a pillow. You settled back against his hard chest and let your legs weave into his. He’s so goddamn warm. It was a mistake wearing jean shorts to his condo. There was a part of you that wondered if he turned the A/C down on purpose but you didn’t want to think about why.

Scrolling Twitter, where Shawn saw the most fan activity, was one of your favorite pastimes. Seeing the reactions to this dude you knew in real life was occasionally shocking, sometimes horrifying, but always amusing. He held the phone out in front of you and thumbed through his feed.

Most of his mentions were about missing him. He’d been on a break since the end of his last tour, taking some time to himself without a schedule for every minute of every day. For a guy who had been taking photos with fans pretty much everyday for the last seven years, you understood why they might be freaking out. He’d broken the pattern. Thank God for that.

You tried to keep your eyes from crossing at the repeated “I miss Shawn @shawnmendes” tweets and the feeling of his alcohol-warmed fingers against your hip. I shouldn’t want this.

“Wait!” you snapped a finger at his phone, “what was that?”

“Oh, that?” he scrolled back, “it’s just an old video.” His voice broke a couple octaves on the last bit. The tweet was accompanied by the wide-eyed blushing emoji. Curious. You raised an eyebrow and watched. He was eating a guitar-shaped cake...with his hands. Mouth wide open, his face buried over and over in thick pieces of chocolate cake with some kind of blue frosting on it. It was fucking filthy. You rubbed your thighs together absent-mindedly.

“What do the comments say?” You poked at his phone before he could move it away.

“Oh, nothing really,” his voice was still high, which meant he knew what the comments likely said. You huffed and grabbed at the phone. “Shawn, you know I have Twitter, I’ll see it whether you like it or not!” You rammed your hips backward, pausing for a second when you felt something you weren’t expecting, but not for too long. He sucked in a breath, coughing, and dropped his phone—right into your waiting hands.

“Hahaha!” You jumped up and ran to the other side of the big white couch, kicking your legs in victory, “I win!” He tripped over his own oversized limbs before he got to you, falling to the floor within reach of your feet. He reached out and pulled your legs toward him, framing his face between your thighs. Your giggles stopped short and your face flamed.

“Can you assholes get a room?!” Brian was awake and fussing at the thin fleece blanket he’d scrounged off the back of the couch. He rolled over mumbling something that sounded like just fucking fuck already but you were too busy thinking about Shawn’s head still between your legs to be bothered by it.

Shawn slowly lifted his finger to his lips in the universal sign to be quiet and untangled himself to stand. He reached out a hand and you didn’t hesitate to grab it, leading you to his bedroom down the hall. You held his phone in a death grip, unwilling to let go in case he caught you off guard.

The room was dark, save for his phone, the rectangle reflecting a solid white off the wall of glass facing the city. The CN Tower lights flickered in the late night sky, seemingly suspended in midair. His unmade  bed was the biggest and brightest thing in the room. A white comforter hung half on the floor at an odd angle off the corner of the mattress, his white sheets completely exposed. The pillows were all scrunched up at the headboard, like he’d been kicking and pushing all night long. Like he hadn’t slept soundly in weeks.

“Okay, so what you’re about to read…” he shut the door behind him, scrubbing at the back of his neck, “it’s gonna be weird, but like it’s fine I’m used to it. They’re...a little invasive.” Weird? Invasive? Curiouser and curiouser…

You walked over to his bed, picking up the comforter and tossing it haphazardly back onto the bed, and sat on the edge staring at the video and letting it play a few more times. Then you swiped down.

@canadianmendussy: ALEXA PLAY BIRTHDAY CAKE BY RIHANNAAAAA

@perfectlyru1n: oh my goD does he really go down like thAT?!

“Oh...my God,” you covered your mouth to keep from laughing, “you’ve seen this before?”

He bounced on the mattress facedown, mumbling something into the sheets.

“What was that?” you asked, with Southern sweet tea levels of sugar. You ruffled his hair, brushing through his curls. He turned his head, his face flushed with more than just alcohol.

“I said yes, I’ve seen it before…” he opened one eye and looked up at you, “I usually just ignore them.”

There were over 400 replies on this tweet, some people chiding the horny stans for posting something Shawn can see, others just piling on.

@illuminateruin: is that cake gluten-free?

@kidinlover: @illuminateruin idk but I know pussy is

@particularbenito: CAN HE EAT PUSSY LIKE THAT?!?!?!

“Can he eat pussy like that...” you read out loud under your breath, your mind conjuring up that image of his face between your thighs. Shawn’s head shot up, eyes wide.

“What???” His face was practically magenta at this point, “is that a serious question??”

“What? Uhh, no. Not serious. A reply actually,” you rushed, giving him a sideways look. I mean...maybe it was a serious question? The curiosity was going to kill you. Oh, no. No, no, no. Your lips tingled.

“Well, I mean….can you?” You could hear the glint in your eye.

Fuck it all.

“Can I….w-what?” he stuttered, the air crackling between the two of you. He looked like a cornered animal, like the wrong move would get him killed.

“Can you,” you pushed a loose curl out of his face and nodded toward his phone, “eat pussy like that?”

Oh, God, did I just…?

“I’ve never gotten any complaints,” your head popped up at his self-satisfied tone. Gone was the red-faced shy boy talking about embarrassing fans. The Shawn in front of you was...confident. Hungry. His fingers grazed your ankles resting beside him. It didn’t escape your notice. You shivered.

It wasn’t cold.

“M-maybe they were just too afraid to tell a big, famous rockstar that he sucked,” you were the one stuttering now, face heating by the second.

“Oh, sucking was definitely part of it,” his fingers traced the indent in your calf. You refused to pull away even though you should, even though part of you—a small, shrinking part—knew that if this went where it was definitely going, things were going to change. You snuck a finger under his chin to pull his gaze to yours.

“Is that a promise?”

“I don’t know,” he flashed a toothy smile, gravity and sheer force of will pulling his body toward yours, “is that an invitation?”

I’m probably gonna regret this in the morning.

Your lips crashed into his, giving him your answer. His mouth was hot, his breathing heavy. Tongues and teeth and lips wrestled together, refusing to part while he made his way above you, crawling on hands and knees between your legs as you settled against the pillows. He licked up into your mouth just before nibbling on your bottom lip, forcing a moan from deep inside you. This was primal, the need you felt with him. Like once you came together, nothing could break you apart.

His hands moved up your body, scratching gently at your exposed legs and slipping beneath your hoodie. He broke away from your lips to shuck off your top and expose all your delicate skin. His fingers slipped beneath your lace bralette and he played with the tiny clasp between your breasts.

“Is this okay?” he asked, a little out of breath, his thin t-shirt pressing against your skin.

You nodded so quickly you thought your neck might snap. He popped the clasp and spread his calloused hands across your chest. The friction was glorious. Your body chased his fingers involuntarily, bowing up off the high thread count sheets.

“Be still, baby,” he whispered, dipping his head and placing an open mouthed kiss just above your belly button. Your eyes rolled back at the pet name, another moan escaping your lips. Warmth rushed between your legs.

“Shawn,” you gasped, trying to control your breathing so he didn’t know just how fucked you were, “when I gave you an invitation, I didn’t expect you to be late to the party.” You rocked your hips up into his chest pointedly.

“Well, I can't just jump to the entrée, can I?” He fiddled with the button on your denim shorts, loosening it with a little pop. Teasing, he licked at a freckle just above your hip before sucking at it with enough force to leave a mark.

“Fuck!” Your hands shot down to his mop of curls, fingers buried in the thick locks. He pulled and nibbled at that spot over and over, all while grazing his fingers just beneath the waistband of your simple cotton cheeky panties.

When he pulled away, an angry red violet half-moon colored the skin. He took one last lick, smiling at your gasp in response.

“I love that sound,” he sat back on his heels between your legs, looking down at your heaving chest.

“I’ll make it again if you take that shirt off,” you reached for him with grabby hands, trying to Harry Potter that shit. He laughed and did the boy thing, grabbing his shirt at the back of his neck before tugging it forward off his body.

The gasp came again. Not even on purpose or because you’s promised him, but because he was so stupid gorgeous in the low light of the city you couldn’t help yourself. You’d seen him in hot tubs and at sweaty summer parties and in those fucking Calvin Klein pictures, but none of that compared to having him shirtless between your thighs just a few inches from your outstretched fingers.

His chest was flushed, some combination of adrenaline and alcohol. Little freckles dotted his lightly tanned skin all the way up his torso to the dusting of chest hair that colored his chest. His perfect pink nipples were hard against the cool air of the room, begging for you to touch or kiss or bite. Or all of the above. You reached out to trace his appendix scar where it peaked out of his low-slung sweatpants. His body danced away from you as he caught at your hand.

“Don’t,” he growled, weaving his fingers between yours and pressing his lips onto the back of your palm like a fucking Victorian gentleman. Like he wasn’t staring down at your hardening nipples thinking about how good they would feel pinched warm between his fingers. He tipped forward, bracing himself against the mattress, his mouth just a few centimeters from your skin. Dragging flesh against flesh, he left kisses at random in the valley between your breasts. Moving farther and farther down your body, he paused, sitting up on his heels.

“Are you sure?” He was breathing heavy, looking straight through you, both hands hovering around the edges of your shorts. You were nodding before he even finished his question.

He curled his fingers around all the fabric in his way, denim and cotton both, and dragged the offending pieces of clothing down your legs, lifting them off and tossing them against the wall across the room. You breathed steady, looking at him looking at you. His mouth hung open in speechless wonder.

“You’re fucking beautiful,” he whispered, settling back between your thighs, a mirror of his earlier pose on the couch. Another wave of heat rushed straight to your clit, silently screaming for him.

“I know,” you brushed through his curls, giving him a suggestive grin when he looked up at you, “I taste good too.”

That was all the permission he needed. A second later, he buried his face between your legs, nudging your knees over his shoulders. His tongue swirled in circles around your clit finishing in random flicks. He moaned into you, his lips closing around your swollen folds with gently sucking pressure.

“Shit, Shawn!” you shouted, praying to the gods that everyone still in the condo was too drunk and passed out to hear you. The white sheets bunched in your fists, arms spread wide. Your thighs clamped down against his ears.

He continued his licks and flicks, snaking his hands up your legs and gently prying your legs apart. You clenched hard as he pinned your thighs to the mattress, holding you open with his forearms. Filthy sounds echoed off the walls, wet sucking, moaning from both of you. He dipped his chin and circled your entrance with his tongue, lapping at you.

“Christ!” your hands shot into his damp curls. He was working hard down there, flexing and moaning and fighting your spasms. You looked down and saw his hips impatiently rutting into the mattress. It only made you wetter, gushing onto his waiting tongue. He drank everything you gave him.

“He’s not here,” he said in a low and gravelly voice, a little breathless. He pulled back, the bottom half of his face shining in the dark. His fingers toyed with your sensitive, wet lips, watching as you twitched and trembled, so close to the edge. A firm circle around your clit had your back bowing, contorting backward off the bed. A single tear rolled down your temple.

“I’m so close,” you panted, trapping his outstretched hand against your skin.

“Shawn, I need you.”

“Need me?” His fingers paused, “need me where?”

“Oh, God, don’t stop,” you choked out, a sob threatening. Your back arched up off the sheets again to find friction. “I need...I need you inside me.”

At some point between your words and the needy moan that followed, he’d removed his sweatpants and a black pair of Calvins. You heard him rustling his hand inside the bedside table followed by the metallic sound of foil and the sharp scent of latex. Thank fuck he’s prepared.

When he dropped down onto his forearms, hovering an inch from where you needed him, you were dripping onto the sheets, grinding down into the mattress waiting desperately for him. He ran his nose over your collarbone, peppering kisses along your neck. It was slow and deliberate. A fucking tease.

“Shawn,” you pulled his face up to yours, all squished between your hands, “if you don’t fuck me right now, I swear I will…”

He pressed inside to the hilt in one swift motion, cutting off your threat.

“What are you swearing to do, princess?” he asked, a smirk and a fire in his eyes. The moan that escaped you in response was embarrassingly loud. He stilled and closed his eyes, allowing you to adjust. You took even breaths, relaxing into his hips, holding on to his shoulders for dear life. His cock was perfect. He was perfect.

I am so fucked.

He moved, slowly at first, stroking all the right places. When his hips separated from yours, pulling almost all the way out, he rutted back inside. It was deep, long thrusts touching some place inside you weren’t sure you knew was there. Your head thrashed against the pillows. Your grip on his shoulders turned sharp, clawing long red-raw marks into his pale skin.

“I’m not gonna last long,” he hissed into your ear, “fuck, you’re so tight.” His abs scraped against your body like a washboard, the tension clear in his muscles. He was wound up, ready to shatter. He crashed into you, repeatedly slapping skin against skin. His fingers found your clit, rubbing tight, slow circles in contrast with the punishing rhythm of his hips. He lifted one of your legs over his hip to change the angle, to make you even tighter around him. A bead of salty-sweet sweat dropped from his chest into your mouth.

“Right...there,” you groaned, your eyes rolling back, “I’m gonna come!”

“That’s right, honey,” he grunted, flattening his fingers across your clit with intense pressure, “come for me.”

The room went white. The sound of your hips colliding was replaced with a high-pitched ring. Your world seemed to implode, your muscles moving independently. He wrapped his arms around your middle and held you as he fucked you through the waves, his weight the only thing keeping you from being swept away in the current.

“Stay here with me,” he cooed, sweet but taut in his throat. Your heart slammed against your ribs in rhythm with his hips. He grunted once, twice, three times with his final thrusts and came undone, pumping into the condom. Biting down on your shoulder to stifle his sounds, he sucked hard enough to leave an angry mark. You contracted around him, both inside and out, curling around his thighs and back and neck, letting the full weight of his completely spent body bring you back to full consciousness.

“Hey,” you fingered his frizzed and fucked curls, “Shawn?”

“Hmm?” he nuzzled into your hands and squeezed you a little tighter.

“You’re crushing me,” you exhaled, strained.

“Oh, fuck! I’m sorry!”

He shifted to his side, accidentally pulling out too quickly, making both of you wince.

“Shit, shit, I’m so sorry,” he was so cute when he was scrambling. He got up and threw out the used condom, quickly returning from the adjoining bathroom with a damp cloth.

“Come here,” he held his arms out, making a perfect you-sized place in front of him. You slid into it easily and let him press the cloth between your legs, wincing again.

“Did I hurt you?” There was so much concern in his voice.

“No, no, I just…” you held onto his arm, glad to be facing away, “I haven’t been fucked like that in awhile.”

“Glad to be of service.” You didn’t have to be looking at him to see his smug smile. Reaching back, you slapped his thigh in retaliation. He caught your hand and kissed it like a Victorian gentleman again, like it made up for his cockiness. You tried to convince yourself that it didn’t, flushing even harder than your just-fucked body should have allowed. He wrapped his arm around your front and intertwined your legs, snuggling his face into the nape of your neck.

“So, uhhh, are we gonna do this again?” he asked, barely concealing the hope in his voice.

“Shhh,” you said, yawning for effect, “we’ll talk about it in the morning. Just sleep.”

He exhaled against your back, placing one last kiss on the mark you were sure he’d left in the midst of his orgasm. You stared out into the Toronto skyline as his breathing evened, his quiet snores barely audible against the screaming voices in your head. As the light crept into the room, as morning dawned on your sleepless night, you repeated his question over and over again.

Are we gonna do this again?

There was an easy answer: yes. Yes, yes, yes, my God, yes you were going to do this again. But there was another, harder question to answer beneath it. If we do this again, will we ever be able to stop?

***

taglist: @justanotherfangurl272  @siennarossi @trustfundshawn @alone-in-madness @harryandmolly @thatindiannerdygirl @fromthicctosticcc @softmendesss @sinplisticshawn @nedthegay @september-lace @itrocksmysocks @disaster-rose @mendesoft @luvluvxx @i-play-video-games @ihearthemcallingforyou @gentleshawn @kitykatnumber @enchantingbrowneyedgirl @ijustreallylikeshawnokay @shhhawnmendes @shawnsblue @imaginashawnns @mendesficsxbombay @shawn-youth @kerwritesthings @starlightsivann @lavenderhoneymndes @begginyouformendes @fallinallincurls @shawn-youth​ @linanilssonfurberg​ @lostinshawnsmemory​ @bucky-ish​

(as always let me know if you want on/off the tag list...I realize I don’t post regularly and like half of these people could be out of the fandom lol)

[punkscowardschampions]

Zelda & Zach

ihatemyguts: Good thing you told me how bubble boy posi Robyn’s ‘rents are

ihatemyguts: ‘cos that felt like such a brush-off

ihatemyguts: I feel kinda bad, it’s low-key just upset her with no shopping trip pay-off 😬

inandout: your first date was today

inandout: the insane jealousy must have forced me to forget

ihatemyguts: Obviously

ihatemyguts: moping and staring out of open windows would be bad for your health

ihatemyguts: probably

ihatemyguts: can’t have that

inandout: mope hard enough and fling myself all over the house, they’ll call it exercise

ihatemyguts: I’d let Rob know but her parents would probably sue me

ihatemyguts: I did some research

ihatemyguts: and yeah, flare-ups fucking suck, but if she was struggling that bad rn she’d be in hospital getting her 💉 on

ihatemyguts: makes me ⁉️ if the meetup will happen

inandout: makes me wonder if her brothers are allowed out

inandout: if they are maybe they can help us smuggle her to the meetup

ihatemyguts: not just a pretty face

ihatemyguts: that’s a damn good idea

ihatemyguts: I can slide in their DMs

inandout: Cranking up the jealousy metre to give me a full work out, I see, are you gonna be a PE teacher when you grow up?

ihatemyguts: *prays they aren’t like 12*

ihatemyguts: imagine if that was my life’s ambition

ihatemyguts: wear unflattering sportswear and give kids complexes

ihatemyguts: even without the potential life-shortening illness, I’d reconsider that

inandout: it tracks that you’d wanna make them 💩 and bringing back the bleep test could work

ihatemyguts: okay I’m not 🦹‍♀️ or 🐯 levels of sweet but is that what you really think of me? 😏

inandout: I think there’s only one rebel teacher coming to mind and I haven’t watched that film so all I know is they stand on desks

inandout: probably not a perfect fit for you

ihatemyguts: I could force you to watch it for our first date

ihatemyguts: and ask you, what your dream job would be

inandout: Netflix and chill or cinema screening of the ‘classics’?

inandout: we could do a drive-thru

ihatemyguts: hmm 🤔

ihatemyguts: there are pluses to ‘em all

ihatemyguts: cinema, we could laugh at all the snobs and 🤓s

inandout: Cool, reach out to me with the time + date when it’s showing

inandout: Are you allowed 🍿?

ihatemyguts: oh hell no

ihatemyguts: have to find another way to hold my hand

inandout: 🦸‍♀️ said she was gonna look up ice breakers and stuff, hopefully it was a fruitful search and she won’t mind sharing the info

ihatemyguts: do you think she legit didn’t realize how thirsty that boy was for her

ihatemyguts: or is it all uwu coy-ness

inandout: It’s hard to tell

inandout: but if I remember my glasses I’ll do my best to decode her body language from 6 ft away

ihatemyguts: aside from hospital, have you ever met someone else with cf?

inandout: Nope

inandout: jokes aside, it really is discouraged

ihatemyguts: that’s a hard one to get your head around

ihatemyguts: far as adjustments go

inandout: getting Robbie at this meetup won’t be easy

inandout: separate ones mean we might not have her there

ihatemyguts: I reckon we can trust you and Kara to keep the teen love story fictional

ihatemyguts: for all our sake’s

inandout: She’ll get her man

inandout: it’s not like bad advice and dating pitfalls are just a click away

ihatemyguts: cosmos never steered ANYONE wrong

inandout: Yahoo answers neither

ihatemyguts: might be confused as to why they’re not related

inandout: [I like to think he’s just sending his fave yahoo answer answers now for the lols]

ihatemyguts: [meme back and forth lads]

ihatemyguts: if she gets her date we could go into the matchmaker business

ihatemyguts: start at home

ihatemyguts: 🤖 don’t last forever

inandout: Rob’ll need to be next or she won’t forgive us

inandout: and we’ll soon get tired/guilty of seeing the amount of 😿💔 spam the chat

ihatemyguts: we’ll have to liberate her first

ihatemyguts: in a literal way

ihatemyguts: not the pretentious, free your 🧠 type of vibe

inandout: Kidnap’s playing into her parents’ fears but we don’t have a better option

ihatemyguts: now it’s my turn for a potential 💡

ihatemyguts: what if that is exactly what she should do

inandout: jump scare them?

ihatemyguts: if she did some actual wild shit to show them they’re being suffocating, ‘scuse the mention, then they’ll have to compromise and let her do normal kid things and everyone will win

ihatemyguts: I realize getting her to wild out might be a problem

ihatemyguts: catfish it though?

inandout: 💡⭐️

inandout: getting her to agree to do it for real would take longer than we have but you’re right, faking it wouldn’t take any time at all

ihatemyguts: get Lauren to picture whatever the hell she’s up to

ihatemyguts: sorted

inandout: + there’s your next photo challenge ready to be accepted, dressing as if you were going on a date with 👵🌈✨ instead

ihatemyguts: hold my neon

ihatemyguts: and think, do we clue Rob in on this plan now or do it on her behalf first, ‘cos we could hit up her house phone with some madness to get ‘em sus now and when she’s like wuuuuut it’ll sound even more

ihatemyguts: or is that a bit evil genius instead of 🦹‍♀️

inandout: Does she even have a house phone? We don’t

inandout: you’ll have to find another way to trick my parents into believing I’m a badass

ihatemyguts: I bet they do

ihatemyguts: can’t trust a mobile

ihatemyguts: and I bet they don’t have a microwave, they’re that sort

ihatemyguts: obvs I’ll just direct them to Lauren on your friends list with a 🤔

inandout: We should probably warn her, in case she takes it the wrong way

inandout: or decides to stand up to them for her YA movie moment

ihatemyguts: yeah, you’re right

ihatemyguts: if she doesn’t go for it, her brothers might be of use still

ihatemyguts: have to focus my evil energy elsewhere

ihatemyguts: such as…

ihatemyguts: 🥁

ihatemyguts: [one of the crazier lewks from babyteeth for the photo challenge]

inandout: 🤞🏻 one of them is old enough to drive the people carrier

inandout: Uhh… that was a suspiciously fast transformation

ihatemyguts: didn’t know you was challenging a pro?

ihatemyguts: and someone with a lot of time on her hands

inandout: I do now

inandout: and I’m guessing it’s not every day you get stood up based on what else I know about you

ihatemyguts: it’s a first

ihatemyguts: not that I constantly ask people out

ihatemyguts: but that is what I’ve put across so fair enough

ihatemyguts: what am I interrupting for you?

inandout: I’m waiting on friends

inandout: this could end in both of us being stood up

ihatemyguts: am I a drag you down with me type?

ihatemyguts: hmm

ihatemyguts: nah, I’ll cross my fingers that your friends aren’t flaky

inandout: Late, but I’d be too if it wasn’t my house

inandout: What are you gonna do now shopping’s off?

ihatemyguts: life is one big photo challenge, right

ihatemyguts: yours is ‘whatever will make your friends double-take when they open the door’

ihatemyguts: it’s a good question

ihatemyguts: we’re going to virtual shop tomorrow but she wasn’t up for it today

inandout: Wait for it and their faces

inandout: + you’re virtually invited to watch movies and play games, you won’t be the only one who isn’t here in person

ihatemyguts: 👍

ihatemyguts: cool

ihatemyguts: meeting new people is my new thing, as long as your mates are down/not the level of nerd that they might get a nosebleed if a girl is about

inandout: Some of them are girls if that helps

inandout: and my brother won’t be there to bring down the cool

ihatemyguts: low-key a shame

ihatemyguts: have to meet him before the first date though

inandout: I’ve got a father you can ask for permission if you’re feeling old-fashioned

ihatemyguts: full set

ihatemyguts: fun

ihatemyguts: mines in scotland so we’ll let you off that trek

inandout: But a road trip is a coming of age movie staple! 😫 Has Netflix aired any YA without one + are you willing to take that risk?

inandout: mine’s a workaholic but we’ve got years to catch him

ihatemyguts: forget the meds, see who gets fucked up first

ihatemyguts: it’d be a journey, for sure

ihatemyguts: do you know what he does? ‘cos so’s mine and I couldn’t tell you, tbh

inandout: Or mix them up and see what happens when you take the ones for my 💩

inandout: He’s a sales manager, he says, but why so vague?

ihatemyguts: sounds like something they’d do at cool parties

ihatemyguts: and that sounds suspish

ihatemyguts: they should have this 🤓 but with a moustache instead of the buckteeth

ihatemyguts: dads are elusive creatures… conspiracy time, what are they all up to

inandout: Not sure that’s the topic Rich has been watching vids on but I’ll ask

ihatemyguts: he can always tactfully ignore you if he’s 😳

ihatemyguts: like he does with 👵🌈✨ when she’s extra

ihatemyguts: more than usual

inandout: Be harder to do that in person

ihatemyguts: I think everyone will still get on

ihatemyguts: unless fibrofog shows, then that’ll be teen show worthy drama, of course

inandout: I think he’s genuinely blocked, he’d need a 2nd account to find out about it

ihatemyguts: hope he’s seen catfish too

inandout: He’d be a fan of the one where the man refused to believe it wasn’t Katy Perry

ihatemyguts: it does seem like the sort of thing she’d do

ihatemyguts: poor bastard

inandout: 😂

ihatemyguts: ultimate photo challenge, catfishing everyone and then going for the ruveal

ihatemyguts: might need more than just a wig 🤔😏

inandout: Dressing like her would make my friends do a double-take

inandout: [pics of some of her outrageous lewks with his head put on]

ihatemyguts: 😂😂😂

ihatemyguts: you suit the 🍦🧁🍭🍩✨

inandout: We’ve probably got a can of squirty cream lying around for hot chocolate

ihatemyguts: inhaler but make it ~sExxxIii~

inandout: [a lil video of his failed attempt to re-create that in her insta DMs or wherever because idk if they can send stuff like that here]

ihatemyguts: Katy dat you 😍😍

inandout: I’ve agreed to only string you along for 4 years not 6 and I don’t have any savings to spend 25% of on a 💍

inandout: looks like the comparison starts and stops with our black curls

ihatemyguts: not much of an orlando bloom clone myself so it’s alright

ihatemyguts: pirate is always an excellent disabled-friendly costume though so add that to the ideas board we should start

inandout: If we decide the next meetup is fancy dress, Lauren will never go back home

ihatemyguts: that’s the mood

inandout: [sends her whatever he did for the photo challenge and his friends reaction to it because why not say they’ve arrived and there’s a similar feral mood here]

[geist-fledermaus]

Get To Know Me!

Since I’ve received quite a few followers here and there, I might as well do this!

What is your full name?: Beryl (Sorry, I don’t like my whole name)

What does your name mean?: It’s a gemstone. 

Are you named after anyone?: My großmütter, Beryl Rae Jensen

Does your name make any interesting anagrams?: Not really?

If you had to change your first name, what would you change it to?: Fuck if I know. Probably something basic so I’m less easy to find. 

Where are you from?: North Pole, AK (I shit you not)

Where were you born?: North Pole, AK

Where did you grow up?: North Pole, AK

Who did you look up to growing up?: My father.

What are your best characteristics?: I can draw. 

What are your favorite things about yourself?: I can draw. 

Which of your parents are you closest to?: My dad.

Which of your parents are you more like?: My daaaad.

What relative was important to you growing up & why?: Tbh My dad was my super hero, he took care of me and my sister, worked 3 jobs, and took care of mom while she went through cancer. He’s the most important lmfao.

What is one thing that you’ve never revealed to your parents?: I’m Pagan.

What would your parents have named you if you were the opposite gender?: Bert Raymond... 

What is your best physical feature?: Eyes or chest. :/ 

What is your biggest accomplishment?: Being locally recognized as an artist, especially on local TV. 

What is your biggest fear?: Being forgotten, being alone. 

What is your biggest regret?: Not pushing myself even more with art. 

What is your eye color?: Various blues with inner green circles. 

What inspires you?: Other artists. 

What is the most important thing in your life?: My fiance! @boywasgirl

What has required the most courage of you in your life so far?: To not give up. To not quit college and drop everything I’ve worked hard for. 

What is your favorite flower?: Sunflowers!

What is your favorite weather?: Rainy weather and thunder/lightning storms!

Who is your favorite actor?: I have a few, but I love Johnny Depp and Jason Momoa. 

Who is your favorite actress?: F u c k. I adore Emma Stone, Emma Watson.. uhh.. Emilia Clarke! That’s just to name a few. 

Who is your favorite celebrity?: Oh fuck. Idk. 

Who is your favorite musician?: They’re a band but I love Bring Me The Horizon, Oliver Syke’s voice and lyrics hit me hard. 

Who’s your favorite person in the world?: @boywasgirl

Who are your best friends?: @armageddonne @darkdragoonxiii @vixenchildxd69-blog and my bff Alisha! 

What is your favorite childhood memory?: My sister breaking the fucking garage door like a dumbshit. 

What is your favorite color?: Black or seafoam green~ I also love other greens and blues! It’s so damn hard to choose. 

What is your favorite cultural activity?: Uh. Axe throwing? Idk what counts as a cultural activity when it comes to me and my family haha. 

What is your favorite drink?: For waking up, Monster or pomegranate and orange redbull kickers, I love mountain dew, anything with peaches and mango as well. 

What is your favorite fairytale?: HAHA. I looove reading about the Tales of Grimm. I can’t just pick one. 

What is your favorite food?: Pizza or Taco Bell.

What is your favorite holiday destination?: Anywhere but Alaska. I love to explore. I REALLY want to travel to Germany, Norway, Ireland, England, and most of Western Europe. 

What is your favorite ice-cream flavor?: Strawberry Cheesecake or Mint Chocolate

What is your favorite music genre?: Fuck. I have so many. I love a lot of metal subgenres, alternative rock, punk, old 2000′s emo bands, EDM, rap, I don’t even know how to label all of my favorites but there’s a lot to unpack there. If you’re curious just shoot me a question ahaha! 

What is your favorite physical activity?: Swimming!! 

What is your favorite quote?: “Keep listening to music because it gets you through everything, I promise.” - Mitch Lucker, former vocalist of Suicide Silence. 

What is your favorite snack?: Peach Rings, Brightside Skittles.. Uhh. MY MOM’S CLAM DIP AND RUFFLES CHIPS? 

What is your favorite song?: Throne - BMTH or Mis//Understanding - We Came As Romans.

What is your favorite sport?: Swimming, Hockey, Volleyball and Fencing. 

What is your favorite time of the day?: Early afternoons or late nights. 

What is your favorite type of clothing?: Goth/Alt fashion. 

What is your favorite way to pass time?: Gaming or drawing. 

What is the name of your favorite restaurant?: Family Diner (It’s in my town. It’s really chill and laid back.)

What is your all-time favorite town or city? Why?: I really enjoyed Denver, CO. It was filled with really colorful, intriguing personalities. There was so much to explore, everyone was so open and sweet. 

What is your height?: ... 5′2″

What time period would you love to live in?: Viking Era. 

What did you do for fun as a child?: Drawing. 

Who was a role model in your life?: My dad! 

Did you have any childhood pets?: I grew up with 5 cats and 4 dogs! 

When you were young, what did you want to be?: A mortician. 

What family traditions were important to you?: I can’t even remember many.. I loved during gatherings how we’d play Spoons, wrestle, and be reckless though. 

What was your favorite childhood memory?: Ahah! Shenanigans with my “Twin” Kyle. 

What was your favorite childhood possession?: My Gameboy Color! 

What challenges did you experience when you were young?: Almost losing my mother, trying to speak English, being bullied heavily. 

What is a defining moment from your childhood?: My mother coming home from the hospital finally. 

What do you do for fun?: Play video games and draw. I’m pretty boring. 

What are your hobbies?: Drawing, Painting, Digital Art, Gaming, Dancing, Singing.

What is something that you’re really passionate about?: My art.

What is something you could spend hours doing?: Drawing

What is something you wish you did more often?: Draw. 

If you had to watch a documentary, what would you want it to be about?: Anything WW1/WW2 related or Forensics/Serial Killer related. 

What do you always have on in the background?: Lofi Hiphop or random videos on youtube that catch my eye. 

How do you feel about travel?: Fuck yeah, where are we going and for how long? 

What is a guilty pleasure you enjoy?: Fuckin’ watching Serial Killer documentaries. 

How have your interests changed over the years?: Nah, I’m still the same. I’m pretty bland. 

Which sibling are you closest to?: My sister, Erika! 

How close are you with your parents?: Close but not too close.

How has your relationship with your parents changed over the years?: For the worse.

What is one of the most important lessons that you learned from your family?: You cannot trust anyone. Not even your own family. 

When does your family cause you to stress?: All the damn time. All they need to do is send me a text and I immediately begin to dread. 

What does the word family mean to you?: Something that I never got to fully have but I experienced. It’s also something I can create on my own accord. 

When you envision your ideal family, what do you see?: Honestly me with my partner/partners, kids, animals, and friends. 

How vulnerable is your family with each other?: Everyone is always on guard and they’ll be mean if you even show some form of sensitivity. 

What is a family trait that isn’t necessarily the healthiest?: Being a snitch, gaslighting, gatekeeping, misogyny, yelling if you even show an inkling of emotion. I could go on. 

What relatives had the biggest impact on you growing up?: In a negative way, almost all of my family. The only two I really loved growing up were my dad and sister, Erika. 

What do you watch on television?: If it’s cable I go to MTV, Forensic Files, or Adult Swim/Anything with cartoons. 

What is one of your favorite movies?: To Hell And Back, Howl’s Moving Castle, Princess Mononoke, Dracula Untold (For some reason I just really like it, don’t judge). 

If you could have free tickets to any event, what would it be?: A BMTH concert PLEASE. Or anything that’s a EDM/Rave environment. ;_;

What is your favorite form of media?: Youtube tbh. 

What role does music play in your life?: A huge role, BMTH got me through a lot of hard times. 

What is one of your favorite books?: Corey Taylor’s Seven Deadly Sins. It’s a riot of a read and makes me laugh. 

How often do you watch sporting events?: Here and there, especially at bars if they have Hockey going. 

What would your ideal weekend getaway look like?: Road trip to Anchorage and staying at my mom’s cousin’s estate in the mountains. I only got to go there a few times and the view is absolutely captivating. You can see the waters, the city, all the lights.. fuck I’d love to draw that. 

Who are popular figures that you love to learn from?: Fuck if I know LOL. 

What celebrity/musician would you love to meet in real life?: Oliver Sykes and Maria Brink tbh.

If you wrote a memoir about your life, what would it be called?: “Well, That Happened.” A memoir of a dumb bitch LOL. 

What fictional world would you want to travel to for a day?: FUCK. I’d love to just be in a simulation like the girl in Porter Robinson’s music video of Shelter. Just being in a drawing simulation where I can run around and create anything and everything around me. But if we’re talking actual worlds.. I’d probably love to be in Avatar The Last Airbender’s world. I love that series so much. 

What room in your house most represents who you are as a person?: The Office. It’s got art supplies, our gaming PC, all of my schoolwork/homework, the drawing tablets.. 

How clean a person are you?: Tbh I am pretty clean, it’s just cleaning huge messes/unpacking that I hate. 

What is a pet peeve that you have?: STOP CHEWING WITH YOUR FUCKING MOUTH OPEN. 

What behavior do you do that is most likely a pet peeve to others?: Uhh. Idk. Nail biting? Loud laughter? forgetting to turn off lights? Idk. 

What phrase or word do you overuse when you talk?: “I’m so sorry” “I m a g i n e” 

If you could only eat at one restaurant for the rest of your life, what would it be?: Fuck. Hahaaaaa. I’d probably love to just sit and eat at the Family Diner. I love their Reubens. 

What is something about your personality that you like? Don’t like?: I like that people feel comfortable running to me when they need a friend. I don’t like a lot about me, though.

What would your friends be surprised to learn about you?: I am ambidextrous and I know German/Englisch and some French! I want to learn Norwegian even more and Gaelic! 

Where do you see yourself in a few years?: West coast where it’s rainy with those that I love, pursuing my career finally after all these years of hard work. 

Thanks for reading this if you finally made it to the end! If there’s other questions you want to ask, don’t hesitate! ^^ Hopefully you learned something about me! 

[potaetaezz]

|| Sweet Like Coffee || 15

prev << >> next

pairing: Nct Dream x Reader  [female]

genre/au: fluff | angst | enemies to lovers | Everyone is just a clueless bunch of weirdos, you get the drill… or so you thought.

warnings: slight swearing, immature content, underage drinking

A/N: its’s my first fanfic so no judgment lol | Longer Chp | here we go~

_____________________________________

You read the words over and over again until you couldn’t bear it. But your eyes wouldn’t leave the screen. Embarrassment kissed a blush to your cheeks. How could you ever face him again, after that? You didn’t even want to try and understand your meaning, your mentality. You just wanted to forget it, forget your words. The words that weren’t even true, you knew, you hoped. 

Your confidence to say those words surprised you, but still, you’d give anything to take them back. The worst part of it all was knowing that he saw it. There was no hoping he didn’t, or praying he had his phone off. He saw it. He knew. And you couldn’t take that back. The embarrassment, the humiliation, you couldn’t stop them from overpowering you. At that moment you wanted nothing more than to hide in a pile of blankets, bury yourself in a book, and escape reality.

A grunt from Lila tore your eyes away.

“What’s that?” She was staring right at your phone, right at his name. 

You dropped it onto the bed, “Uhh nothing.”

“Did I just see Jaemin’s name on your phone?”

“No. Nope.”

“Did it just read ‘I miss you’?” 

“Don’t think so…”

“Y/n….”

“Well, you kissed Haechan!” It was the only thing you could think of. 

“What’re you on about?” Her voice up an octave. You could see her smile building. 

“What the fuck did we do last night.” She held her face in her hands, laughing. Or crying. Maybe both. She must’ve been confused as well. She peered through her fingers to look at you.

“You’re situation is still worse.” 

“No shit Sherlock.” You joined in on the laugh.

You took out your phone again, reluctantly. Your eyes caught glimpse of your words once again before you pressed ‘delete’. You needed to forget. Perhaps the more you looked at it, the greater the chance you might trick yourself into believing it, believing the words. Maybe the more you read it, the easier it was to fall for your hearts trick. 

“Just try to forget about it.” Lila said.

“I will.”

———

Monday [2:11pm]

It was safe to say, you didn’t forget about it, any of it. It rung inside your ears daily. You suffocated in the memory of your words, in his response - silence. There was no point in telling Renjun because nothing could save you from that, nothing could bring you back. It was your own mistake, your own humiliation, and you had to deal with it. That was the first day you were glad Jaemin wasn’t in. You were glad you didn’t hear him run in late for class, or catch his eye in the hall. You were grateful you didn’t see him. It allowed you to relax.

“Hello? Earth to y/n” Renjun said whilst waving a hand in front of your face.

He pulled you back from your daydream, brought you back to reality. It was just you, Renjun and Lila sitting at the cafeteria table

“What’re you doing for tomorrow?”

“What’re happening tomorrow?” You replied. 

Renjun rolled his eyes, “Uhm your birthday.”

You never imagined you’d become so forgetful that you’d forget your own birthday. You’d probably need a Facebook reminder to remember it. Your mind has been so swamped lately. Confused and embarrassed and everything under the sun. 

“How am I the one to remember your birthday?” Renjun laughed. “So what you gonna do?”

You shrugged your shoulders, “I don’t know, nothing?” 

Renjun let out a huge sigh, shaking his head. He almost couldn’t believe it. Stuck in thought attempting to comprehend the fact that you don’t want to do something special for your birthday. To you, a birthday was just another day of the year. It would be nice to hang out with friends, sure, but you didn’t need to. You would be just as fine chilling at home.

“We’re doing something.” He slammed his hands onto the table, a fire in his eyes, “Let me plan it.”

He looked so excited, how could you say no. “Fine,” you sighed, “but I’m warning you, don’t go overboard.”

Renjun never mastered simplicity. He was always extra, in everything he did, especially when it came to planning. But you loved it anyway. 

———

Tuesday [5:48pm]

Ten said your present was on the way, but you knew he forgot. 

You were grateful for Renjun hosting your birthday party because you couldn’t imagine putting the effort into it yourself. You were worried that it would be extravagance at its finest, and you didn’t even know who was going to be there. But you were grateful nonetheless. Walking up the steps, you wondered if Jaemin knew it was your birthday, you wondered if he cared. 

But you waved that thought off fast, as the door opened for you. Renjun stood in the doorway, a birthday balloon in his hand. 

“Good evening y/n.” he smiled.

“Hello Renjun.” 

He passed you the balloon, and led you into the sitting room. 

He turned down his extravagance just for you. There were a few balloons and party decorations scattered around the room, and music softly playing in the background. You noticed Lila sitting down. And all of a sudden, it was the trio once again. Nostalgia warmed your heart. But with the addition of Jeno and Haechan who were walking in with food, lots of food.

You remembered the bet, that awful bet. But you couldn’t hate it, you didn’t regret it. If it wasn’t for the bet you would never be there. It was the bet that brought you all together, surrounded by old friends and new ones. Surrounded by friends who cared. 

There was already so much food on the table, but Haechan added delivered pizza to it anyways. Jeno was carrying drinks. There was a board game laid out on the table. 

“I know I’ve banned monopoly, but this is a special occasion,” Renjun said.

He banned monopoly for good reason too. You tend to become overly competitive when monopoly is involved, you couldn’t help it. You may have just maybe hit Renjun across the face when he cheated. He forgave you, but it took a while.

You pulled Renjun in for a hug. 

You had never appreciated him more than at that moment. You were so touched you could nearly cry. 

“Nice gesture, but I don’t feel safe around monopoly anymore.” you said as you let go. You lost control around monopoly. You couldn’t deny it.

“Oh thank god. And you don’t feel safe? I’m the one that got hit!”

“Whatever whatever, but we’re not playing Mario Kart.”

“Don’t do this to me y/n, I just got better.” Renjun began to whine.

“Mario Bros?”

“I guess it is your birthday.” He tried to pout but ended up laughing instead. “Mario Bros it  is.”

Before you could sit down to play, Jeno pulled you back by the hood.

“I didn’t forget.” he said. A book in his hand. “It’s the second part to the last one I gave you.”

“Did you underline your favourite parts?” You couldn’t help but ask.

“Only for you.”

“Thank you Jeno.”

Haechan joined in, “I didn’t know what to get you, so I got you the one thing I know you love.” He handed you a set of coffee capsules.

“But I don’t own a coffee machine…”

“Just like- just open them up? No?”

“No Haechan but thanks for the effort.”

“Anytime y/n.” He smiled that innocent smile.

Lila swore she would give you her present tomorrow, and Renjun said the party was his gift to you.

All you guys did all night was play video games, ate pizza and chilled. But it was perfect. You couldn’t have asked for anything more. It was relaxing, and casual, and just what you wanted. You doubted how well Renjun knew you.

But something strange happened when you were watching them play. 

Everyone was laughing, smiling. You joined in but something was pulling you back, isolating you. You were with everyone, but you felt alone. It was an emptiness growing inside you, harassing your emotions, pestering your mind. You tried to swallow it, but it was consuming you and your thoughts. You noticed Jaemin’s absence for the hundredth time that night, you could feel it. 

You remembered the weight of his gaze, the look in his eye. You wished to smell the amber and musk once more, or to see the curl of his smirk. You craved to see him, to feel him. His absence was becoming too much. You were remembering, wishing too much. Your mind was a mess, your smile was dismantling, and Lila was beginning to notice. Her eyes analysed you. She realised.

“Do you want a drink y/n?” she called you out.

“Sure.”

You followed her out to the kitchen, until she stopped.

“What’s up?” she asked.

“I just can’t forget about it.”

A chuckle escaped her mouth, “is that it?” She knew there was more.

You paused, hesitated, “I just can’t forget about him. Like what if it’s true? What if I miss him? Hell what if I like him? No I don’t, I can’t. I just I-“

“Stop spiralling. Breath.”

You took in some air. And then she hit you with the facts.

“You know Jaemin has a bad rep. You know he’s arrogant and cocky.”

“Jeno was like that.” you interrupted.

“But Jeno is different. Jeno has changed. Jeno didn’t disappear. You know Jaemin can be such a prick, you know that, but you don’t know much more about him.”

But she didn’t know Jaemin like you did. She didn’t know how close you two got, she didn’t know what happened. Lila didn’t feel the warmth and comfort when he wrapped his arms around you. She didn’t hear the hitch in his voice when he brought up his father. She didn’t see the vulnerability in his dark eyes when he basked beneath the moonlight. She didn’t understand.

“He’s bad news y/n, I’m saying this because I care for you. Just, try not to overthink everything, let your mind rest. He probably didn’t even take notice of the message.”

Those words hurt more than they should’ve, affected you more than they were meant to.

You took another deep breath and turned around. As you were walking back, Lila coughed, loudly. You heard a light switch click. And suddenly everything went silent. You stopped just before the door, but Lila pushed you from behind. 

The room was dark, you couldn’t see anything. A flame grew in the darkness, flickering. And that’s when you saw it. The candle, the cake, everyone.

“Happy Birthday~” they began to sing. 

You were comforted by the smiles on their faces, just by them being there. That was the first birthday where you weren’t embarrassed when everyone sang ‘happy birthday’. You had no reason to be embarrassed. You just enjoyed it. 

Soon enough Renjun was holding the cake in front of you. The flicker of the flame taunted you. So you blew it out. Darkness cascaded around you. Everyone began to cheer. 

And right there, in the midst of darkness, you made your wish.

———

The isolation you felt disappeared as you walked home. 

But still, Jaemin popped into your head, flooded it. You wondered what he was doing, who he was with. All these questions yet you knew they would never be answered. It was becoming easier to think of him, think about him. You felt your grip loosen over your control, over your power. But whilst it was getting easier to wonder about him, it was getting harder to forget. About everything.

Before you entered your apartment, you noticed something was off. Something had been shoved into your mailbox, in a rush. You walked over and attempted to pull it out, but it was stuck. By the time you got it out, the wrapping paper had been torn off.

But it revealed something beautiful.

It was a book. The book you read with Jaemin, in his library, under the light of the moon.

A flurry of memories hit you. But warmed your heart as well. He remembered. He remembered it was your birthday. He remembered what book you read. He remembered you. A sense of urgency raced through your heart. Despite his disappearance, he made sure to give you a birthday present, he tried. Your heart fluttered. A burning desire ignited inside of you. A craving that you couldn’t get rid of. You had to do something. You had to thank him. 

You started walking. You had no idea what you were going to say, but you had to say something. You had enough of his silence. Enough of his disappearance. You started to run. You forgot about your message, about his reputation. You forgot about everything, except for his face. His eyes, his smile, his hair. You had been suppressing feelings you always knew were there.

You hated Jaemin at the start, and maybe that’s why you hated your feelings. You hated that you cared, you hated how you noticed his absence, you hated how he had an effect on you. You were becoming like all the other girls, victim to his charm, fallen prey to his lure. But you didn’t care. Not anymore.

You witnessed pain on his face, you saw a part of him he kept hidden, you knew him. You were sure. He was good. You were sure. 

You could only run so far before you arrived, standing in front of his house. It was dark, but you could always spot Jaemin. Your heart warmed.

He was sitting on the steps, head in his hands, the darkness embracing him. 

You took one step closer. Still catching your breath.

He looked up, and you looked into his eyes for the first time in ages. You forgot how his features were carved by Aphrodite herself, how his eyes held all the stars in the sky. You forgot how intense his gaze was, how hard it was to hold. You forgot how good he looked. You let out a shaky sigh. He didn’t even seem surprised to see you.

“What’re you doing here?” he said. Voice empty, monotone, dead.

You just held up the book. 

“Did you think I forgot?” There was no emotion behind his words. 

“Yes.”

He looked down, letting out a soft chuckle. 

“Look, y/n, you need to go.” Whatever amusement filled his voice before was gone. 

“Where the hell have you been? What’s wrong?” you couldn’t hold back.

“You just need to leave.”

“Why?”

He stood up and began to close the space between you. 

“I don’t have to explain myself.”

“If all you were going to do was tell me to leave why’d you give me a present? Why give me this book? You knew I’d come, so why?”

There was tension strained between you both. He took one last step closer. You looked up at him. The darkness in his eyes consumed you.

“If you read it you would’ve realised. It was a goodbye gift.”

“Are you going somewhere?”

“No. But I can’t do this anymore.”

“Do what Jaemin? Make sense.”

“Your message? I can’t do that. I can’t reply to that. I know you know about the bet. That’s what this was. That’s why I kissed you. That’s why I tried. Did you really think I cared about you?”

You took a step back, shuddering at his words. He was different, he was cruel. It was becoming hard to breathe, his scent suffocating. You were drowning in your memories, in his words.

He leaned in close, so close you could almost kiss him. And he spoke in that low, husky voice:

“I told you you were going to regret this. I warned you.”

Before you could look him in the eyes, before you could respond, before you could breathe, you heard the door click. A girl came out, wearing a dress filled with roses, hair neatly did, makeup perfect. She was perfect. And she was staring right at Jaemin.

“Are you coming in?” she called out, not even sparing you a glance.

“Yeah, yeah I am.”

And he turned his back on you and he walked away. 

_____________________________________

a/n: Jaemin has changed, clearly. What happened to him? Who is that girl? What did he write inside the book? Hope you liked it!!

_____________________________________

See you soon -> Thursday 14th xx

 _____________________________________

[punishedvenomsnake]

You are one in a MINION! Send this to ten friends you think are simply bananas!

Hello ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to episode one of Jermacraft, the series where I play Minecraft.

This is gonna be a singleplayer let's play and when I say let's play I use that term... pretty loosely because I'm an idiot in this game - you're gonna see lots of fails, you're gonna see lots of triumphs, at least I'm hoping.

So go grab yourself a nice hot cup of coffee, hot cup of cocoa. I've got apple cider right here freshly brewed, let me take a sip.

sip

Ah that's good cider. Alright, so let's get this started - create new world.

World name is going to be... JermaCraft! Sounds about right, eh ok...

Game mode is going to be suurvii- survival, that's the most interesting I think.

More world options- seed for world generator ok this is important!

I gotta name this something crazy to get cool structures and stuff.

Gonna name it... umm... how about,

"DiamondsAreForever"

"LOL"

"cheese"

uh "BURGAH".

Alright, there's- that's our world generator seed, "DiamondsAreForeverLOLcheeseBURGAH"... Done!

Alright let's see what happens, create new world let's do it guys. 'Building terrain' oh my god this is so exciting this is episode one!

I wonder... I wonder where we're gonna end up... Where are we gonna end up?

Ok... what- what? Where the hell am I? I spawned on top of a mountain top! Ok hold on, sound has to be lowered, definitely...

Mkay, a lil' bit of that, a lil' bit of that... maybe a little lower! That sounds about right. Alright!

So, uh, apparently I spawned on top of a mountain... I kinda- this is a good seed!

What's that? We're going to explore it right now - GO!

dies from fall damage

Oh! jerma laugh

... Heheheh... Alright we're going to try that again. This time I'm not gonna miss... I wanna get down to tha- that's the home right there, I wanna live right there.

Don- I don't even have to explore, see if I can't do this... I gotta, hold on... I got an idea, I got a plan.

JermaCraft episode one, this is how we do it! You guys ready? I don't know if you- I don't know if you guys are actually really ready for this!

Here we go! I'm going for a skydive. Remember if you hold shift you don't fall off... That's something I didn't know when I used to livestream this game...

wheeze Heh heh! You guys ready? Ready to go see our new home?

jerma laugh

Alrighty then... What the hell is that? Oh it's an octopus... Look at this quaint little place... I love it already! Heh heh! Alrighty...

So- oh.. exhalation I'm so stupid! Y'see I'm- this is why... this is why I'm an idiot guys... y'see, why would I... I need to get wood! And I just jumped off th- ok...

Remember this... Where are we, pointing east? I have no idea.

Gotta get some trees... That's the most important part of Minecraft you gotta get trees, that's the first thing you gotta get.

Lemme take a sip of my apple cider...

sipping sounds

Oh that's good stuff!

Hopefully you guys picked up a thing of coco like I told you to because that's the most relaxing thing in the world, sitting down, playing videogames... doesn't get much better than that.

Ah ok, c'mon now! Oooh, we got sand too! Now, explain this to me alright?

Alright I want Notch to send me a personal email, and explain to me why there are cows that are acting like Mountain Lions...

I'm gonna kill each one of those cows in just a minute, you watch.

fall damage

Ow... Well at least there's one tree over here... Gotta remember, I gotta go back that way, cause that's where the, the house is gonna be... My awesome dirt house!

So if you are an OLD subscriber, I mean really old, like at least four months ol- month- four... ffweehh four or five months. You'll remember the original JermaCraft it was like two episodes...

And I built a dirt house. This is gonna be completely different I'm going to actually spend time... and make some cool stuff. At least that's what I'm pretending that I'm gonna say that.

Got some wood... aw I got Geno still (his Minecraft skin) from Mario RPG, one of the best games of all time. If you have never played Mario RPG I suggest you play it.

Alright, got some wood, I need more trees over here I can... dig up. I'll get this one too.

excruciatingly slow wood punching

One more and we'll make our way back.

more wood punching

So I guess they added a hunger feature now too if- if you're hungry, you... you die? ... Or something, I guess? Who knows?

even more wood punching

Little bit more wood... And in my livestreams I- I was, always a tradition that when I played this game I would sing a song when things got really boring.

So that seems like the perfect opportunity right now to sing a song, so uh lemme just prep my vocal chords for a second...

sips apple cider

clears throat

Ok... So we're getting wood right now right?

(In Jazz Tune) doodoo, doo doo, (kh) doo, (kh) doo, (kh) doooo doo dooo doo doo, (kh) doo, (kh) doo (kh), doooo.

We're chopping wood down!

(kh) doodoo, doo (kh).

Every single day...

(kh) doo, (kh) doo, (kh) doooo.

I gotta get my tools!

(tch) m'doo (kh)

Any which way.

(tch) doodoo, (kh) doo, (kh) doooo doo doo.

I can't seem to reach this stupid piece of wood, so I gotta put some blocks down to get where I should...

I'mgonnachopem.

(tch) d'dnn, (tch) nhh, (tch) nhhh~

I'm gonna chop right now.

nhh, (tch) nhh, (tch) doooonnnh~ doodooonnh~ doon, (tch) doon, (tch)

fall damage

Alright that's enough... Got it! Let's get the hell outta here! Yaaay!~ splash So those of you that don't think that's gonna be a good spot- you'll see...

I'm gonna build that up to be like a castle! So here's the goal... by Christmas time of this year, 2011, I wanna have... a giant castle like as big as that, uhh, that mountain over there...

begins breaking blocks

So let's clean this up a little bit. Why don't we huh? Yeah alright, alright! ... Maybe put a little bit of dirt down here... Make sure I can y'know...

D- did I really run out of dirt? Wonderful... My first wooden tools. It's just like going to your first day of school... And get, punched in the face by the bully...

Speaking of bullies... I got a funny story for you. First ever story on JermaCraft! While I do this mundane stuff.

So... when I was like in the fourth grade, there was a kid that lived down the street from me, his name will- will stay anonymous, because... y'know I don't want him to like- if he watches these videos- I don't want him to come, like, beat me up.

Not that he would ever remember this to begin with... but I- I was probably like the fourth grade... And eh, swallows I was a little S-word guys I was a little- I was a little... little jerk when I was younger.

So essentially what happened, was- this kid, he was a big, big, fat kid: scary, not very nice. And my brother got in like a fight with him, like a looong time before this v- when I was like the second grade my brother's a little bit older than me...

And lemme pick this up.

So my brother got in a fight with this kid and... and... and like I heard about it. And so at the bus stop one day, cause we were at the same bus stop because he lives right down the street from us. At leas- at least he did, I don't know if he does anymore.

So... I dunno why- I was in the fourth grade this so much of a little jerk I was. So my grandmother used to pick me up from school, after I got from the bus stop...

Because y'know obviously you don't wanna walk- y'know, the mile and a half back to your house or whatever it is, mile... Cause the bus stop wasn't that close.

So my grandma used to pick me up, and he was at the bus stop as well, and one day I decided that out of the back window, I was going to give him a double middle finger, as I was driving with my grandmother one day.

I dunno why- I don't even know why I did it guys I can't- I can't tell you one reason why I gave this kid the double middle finger. And from that day forward, he just kinda gave me the w- like a weird look like "What? The hell are you doing?"

And from that day forward I would RUN. RUN, as fast as I could to the bus stop, and away to the bus stop where my grandmother was gonna pick me up, and it was like that for almost six months.

And he never beat me up or anything like that he, eh- he, I- I he- I don- I don- I was like, overreacting.

Actually hold on a second I don't need this... What am I doing with this? I was just putting blocks down! Actualy nonono, I was- I was doing the right thing. I want- I want these. Cause I wanna make like a wall kind of...

Let's keep that going. So yeah, so I guess the moral of the story is, never give the double middle finger to a bully. Cause, you'll be scared for the rest of your life.

And I still am scared, when I like open my doors to like, go and get the groceries... I'm scared. That bully's gonna come get me for me... givin' him the bird.

Yeah- yeah that is actually a true story I did not make that up it- I was scared for like, at least six months. And nothing ever happened either, and like- like I didn't get beat up or anything, so...

Alright now. Is there- is this all- is this gonna go straight down into... ok cool. C-o-o-o-o-l! I'm gonna make a little mine here!

hisses

It's getting late... it's getting late and when it gets late that's when Jerma starts to lose.

starts digging 4x4 hole straight down

I don't think I've ever made it past one night in this game when people are watching. I really don't think it's happened.

ambient cave sound

Is that- Ooh, there's a mine somewhere around here... Pretty sick! Oh jeez- it's right here! Ohohohoh! Nice! Maybe there's coal right here too, that'd be pretty awesome!

Oh my god, Creeper! Creeper get the hell outta here! I'm gonna kick your butt! Y'know yeah- yeah blow up! Go on, go on what do you think I care?

You can't hurt me I got a shovel! I'm gonna shovel your face in-

creeper explodes and takes off more than half of Jerma's health

gasp

... Ok well that's done. chuckles There's not coal just right here somewhere? There has to be... See this is why they always tell you, right when you start, you need to go get coal, you need to go get wood and everything, but I was too busy talking about a bully... me giving him the middle finger.

So looking- I'm trying to see if I can see coal, sometimes it's just right on the edge of these mountains...

stares into pitch black

Hmmmm... I am not pleased! ... Let's at least do this. I need a sheep too, I need wool! I'm being a real piece of crap...

[lovemesomesurveys]

Have you ever known anyone who was homeless? Yes.

Do you watch movies with the subtitles on?   Usually. I always do if I’m watching something on Netflix cause I just keep that setting on. I’m not hard of hearing, but I feel like I just...absorb it more? *shrug* I don’t know. Sometimes I’ll misunderstand what is said or miss it entirely, but subtitles keep that from happening. Plus, when watching certain things for whatever reason certain parts are quieter even with the volume turned up. 

Did you have a treehouse when you were younger? Nope.

Would you rather watch them or play them?   Uh, I’m going to assume you’re talking about sports, in which case neither.

If you were a journalist, what types of stories would you want to cover? Entertainment news. I actually took an entertainment journalism course in college. It was my last semester and I just needed a few more units (the courses for my major were all done) and that was one of courses I took. 

Do you think American Idol is rigged? I’ve heard that, but *shrug*

Have you ever participated in any type of medical study? No.

Have you ever taken a road trip with no destination in mind? I wouldn’t say a “road trip,” but I’ve gone on aimless drives before. <<<<

Do you give good directions? Nooo. I’m the worst, don’t ask me.

What do you think of when I say the word ‘lumberjack’? Plaid and axes lol.

Have you ever lied about your weight? Why? No. I’ve had no reason to.

Do you know how to do the Macarena? Yeah.

Have you ever tripped over one of your pets?   No.

Have you ever been stuffed into your locker? No, but that’s something I thought happened all the time cause of teen movies I saw growing up. 

Can you make another person blush easily? Uhh. I don’t think so? I don’t try to. I’m not a flirtatious person.

What would you change about the way your parents raised you? Nothing. I have the best parents, I can’t blame them for the mess I turned out to be. That’s 100% all on me. 

Do you have to look perfect before you go out to the store? Ha, no. I stopped caring years ago. I used to care about what I wore and attempted to look decent with makeup and do my hair, but I don’t have the motivation or energy for that anymore.

What is your state’s motto? So, I had to look it up and apparently California’s is, “Eureka.” Ah, upon further research it makes sense. We’re the golden state cause of the gold rush and “eureka”, which means, “I’ve found it”, was a common phrase used when someone found gold.

Are there any holidays that you feel are completely pointless? Yeah.

Have you ever gone to work with one or both of your parents? Yeah. My mom worked at Borders years ago and I used go with her sometimes. My dad worked in the mall growing up and I went with him a lot, especially as a teenager.

What is the funnest sport that you got to play in P.E. class? I didn’t enjoy any of them.

Have you mastered the plastic guitar yet (Rock Band, Guitar Hero)? I rock out hard on easy mode. haha. I haven’t played in yearsss, but I’ve actually been really wanting to.

What is one cause you know you’ll ALWAYS support? Ones like ASPCA.

What animals creep you out? ALL bugs/insects and reptiles. Also, a lot of sea life. I have an irrational fear of killer whales.

Have you ever done a walk/run for a charity or similar cause? No.

Do you like the smell of gasoline?   I actually do.

When was the last time you had a piggyback ride? Not since I was a kid.

Have you ever owned or used a telescope? Only the kind for science classes.

Do you have to see or witness certain phenomenons to believe them? Certain things.

Do you know/remember what Shrinky-Dinks are? Whoa, yeah. There’s a memory I forgot I had. I loved doing those as a kid.

Do you talk to store clerks like you know them? No. I’m not the chatty customer. I don’t say anything unless they do, which is usually just them asking me if I’ve found what I needed and/or how I’m doing. 

In your town, are a lot of stores closed on Sundays? No, but a lot close early.

Do you dislike song remixes? Not always. There’s a lot I do like.

When was the last time you hula-hooped? Never.

Have you ever played Magic: The Gathering? No.

What are your thoughts on role playing games? Never had an interest in them. Do you get an adrenaline rush just from watching videos of roller coasters? I probably would if I actually watched videos like that. I’m sure I’d feel anxious just watching.

Do you like watching shows that deal with forensics? Yeah.

Do you want to have a bachelor/bachelorette party before you get married? I don’t even plan on getting married. I just don’t see it ever happening.

Ever been texted by mistake and played along & acted like you knew them? No. I wouldn’t even respond.

Would you ever get a name tattooed on you?   I would maybe do something that reminds me of a loved one (I’m referring to family, like my mom) rather than their name. I don’t see myself getting a tattoo at all, though.

If you could have unnatural colored eyes, what color(s) would you choose? Hmm. Rose gold would be cool.

Do you always remember your dreams?   No, I rarely do. I typically forget them soon after I wake up.

Who is your favorite late night talk show host? I don’t watch any anymore, but I used to watch Conan and Jay Leno back in the day. I was there for the big Tonight Show drama of 2010.

Do your parents dress like they’re years younger? Does it gross you out? No. 

Do you know who Seth MacFarlane is?   Yeah.

Do you try on clothes in dressing rooms and take pictures? No, I never try on clothes at the store.

What is a band you can’t stop listening to right now? There isn’t one in particular, currently.

[mfackenthal]

The MFackenthal Show and @maxattack-powell!

banner by @whenyourheartskipsabeat

Hello all!  Welcome back to the MFackenthal Show!  I am so glad that you are here today.  If you’re new to the show, I encourage you to go here to find past episodes.  There are only a few.

The MFackenthal Show has officially been green lit for more episodes!  We used to only be able to afford to run the show every once in a while, but the people have spoken - they want to see the show more often!  The funding came through and we hope to give the people what they want!  Do you want to be on the show?  Do you have someone that you want to see on the show?  If so - reblog or comment or send a message to let MFackenthal know!  We’ll see what we can do!  We have this show and two others lined up for you!

I could not be more excited to bring you this next guest.  She has been with the fandom for quite a while.  She was one of the first people I started communicating with on a regular basis.  She has talked me up, supported me from the beginning and though she hasn’t written much lately - when she does drop a chapter - it’s long and it’s worth it!  Please welcome to the stage @maxattack-powell!!!!!  (Insert Cheering here!)

(Megs greets Max with a hug - which means that Megs essentially runs and leaps into Max’s arms.  Max is fairly tall and Megs is barely 5′3″) 

Megs:  Max, I am so happy that you are here!  Can you believe that you’re here today?

Max:  Haha, yes - I can.  But I am honored to be here.

Megs:  Max, sit with me.  For those in the audience who may not know you, tell us about when and why you joined the fandom.

Max: Yanno, I always made my best guess at this before, but I knew you were going to ask me this - so I looked it up.  Did you know that now there’s this Official Tumblr blog called @memories, and it knows down to the minute when someone joined? Let me go check it… *digs through the blogs posts* Okay, it was apparently 07/31/2017 at 1:17:15 PM, which means it must have been on the weekend because of the time of day haha.

As for why ... hmm, well… I found the Choices app one day, when it only had like… three series I think! Anyone else remember that time? 

Megs:  I do!  Because I was playing Hollywood University I think I downloaded choices the day the app came out.

Max: Awh!  Well, I fell in love with The Freshman Series. Mostly because of Chris Powell and Zack Zilberg, and a long time ago I was in another fandom that had tons of fan fiction/art… so I googled “Choices Chris Powell” and any other combination I could think of looking for possible fanfiction. The fandom was almost non existent at the time. There was actually one person, who has long since left the fandom due to fandom dramas - we all know the kinds I’m talking about - but a few others had started posting their works as well… and I got hooked. Eventually I felt the bug to write how I felt TF should play out as well, and here I am *looks back at the “joined tumblr timestamp”* uhh… 20ish months ago!  Haha!!

Megs:  LOL, when you put it that way it doesn’t sound like that long ago ... lets call a spade a spade - that was almost 2 years ago!  That’s amazing!  You have to have seen so much in this fandom!  What is it that keeps you around?

Max: There are so many awesome people in this fandom, in this world we’ve all created for our pixelated loves lol. Soooo many creative minds to follow and enjoy. The content people share, original or repost… it’s great. 

... Unfortunately it is also a double edge sword ... the drama, the jealousy, the rumors, the hate, etc. I’ve sadly seen far too much and it comes in so many forms… it’s unnecessary.

Megs:  I couldn’t agree more!  If you could tell the fandom one thing - what would it be?

Max: It would be that we’re all here because we want to have a good time. No one came here to get ridiculed, to be scrutinized or chastised for their opinions, their likes or dislikes. Real life has enough of that going on. We are all individuals - if you want to be treated nicely, fairly, etc. you must also do the same to others. There is no reason someone must agree with you or anyone else. Live and let live. Embrace our differences as it makes us who we are. Most of the issues I see stem from a simple difference in opinion. That is ridiculous. Everyone’s entitled to their own thoughts. We must build each other up, not tear one another down. No one here owes anyone anything, now go have some fun.

(The room stands up in applause!)

Megs:  You should definitely stand up and take a bow, Max! 

(Max does just as Megs suggests - but she also makes Megs stand up and do the same. Laughing, they both sit back down.)

Awh, Max ... okay, let’s get back to you.  We know that you’d fight anyone for the position of The Chris Powell Appreciation/Fan Club.  And for those who don’t know, Max has been retelling the full The Freshman series, interweaving dialogue and plot from PB but also adding much of her own content.  MC and Chris get a backstory.  Chris gets best friends from back home.  What is your favorite piece that you have written?

Max: Oh geez hahaha. Um… can I just say The Freshman Chronicles as a whole? I’ve written for different fandoms, and I have original WIPs but I’ll stick to the Choices fandom for this answer. I’ve put a lot of time into TFC. Tons of additional story work, research on characters and their backgrounds, PBs and my own OCs. You should see my file folder setup haha. It’s crazy… I have so many docs, pictures and gifs. Most organized by location (Hartfeld, Boston, New Haven, Cherryfield, etc.), then by character… and on some I get more detailed and split them by emotion and situation.

Megs: By what again?

Max:  Emotion and Situation ... Yeah. I warned you it was crazy! *laughs* TFC was the reason I joined tumblr really. Instead of staying a Nonny and only reading others posted works. I wanted to comment, like and reblog what I enjoyed, while I also worked on my own contribution to the fandom. I had a vision for Chris and MC that had more than the game could give, and I wanted to see if i was still any good at writing since it had been years and years… it’s funny to see how different my current posts are from my first over a year ago. Makes me want to go update a few because they could use a little help *awkward laugh*

Megs:  I’m sure we can all relate to that!  Hmmm ... I’m starting to get a feel for this, I think, but what is your writing process?

Max:  Lots of planning, mostly in my head. When I feel like I have a decent concept I might type out some notes or work it into my outline (another crazy thing I have going for TFC because it’s so big haha). But usually, once I hatch out a basic plan on where I’m going… I just start typing. Keeping the general plot and main points I want to hit in mind, I simply start typing… keeping it as organic as possible. It usually works out well. 

Megs:  Do you have any advice for other writers?

Max: First, and most importantly… do it because you enjoy it. Don’t do it for likes, reblogs, popularity, etc. If you’re having a good time dreaming things up and typing them out, that’s what’s important. The rest is just an extra bonus. Also, don’t give up. It’s easy to become discouraged, frustrated, distracted and more… but remember - your creative cells can’t be running all the time. They need to rest just like your body. Take breaks… go read, play games, hang out with friends/family, watch a movie… whatever. Just do something to help you relax, to reset and you’ll very probably find inspiration and/or motivation to continue. Remember, this is for fun. *wink and finger guns*

Megs: So what do you do for fun?

Max: I actually have a few things I do regularly. A big one is making costumes/props for conventions, small productions, etc. I also train and show horses. I do the same with my dogs, but more for competitions and not really any shows. I’ve always drawn, sculpted, painted since I was old enough to hold things with my hands… and about a year ago I started learning how to do it digitally as well. I run (not at all for fun haha) and play hockey (totally for fun), follow comics and watch anime. I've restored houses, cars and old furniture. I like to read as much as I can - that’s an important one. I also play video games. Something I’ve done since I was young… I've even competed, and won, a few gaming tournaments.

Megs:  You don’t know how to be bored do you?

Max: LOL, Megs.  Yeah, um, so there’s a “few” *makes air quotes* of my never ending list of interests haha. Gives me a lot to talk about with people, eh?

Megs: Not that I can understand how you’d have time for this ... but what do you do to help pay for your many activities?

Max:  Oh like, my job? Well that can be a simple answer… like “I work in software” but the more interesting way to say it is I use my MBA, experience in business, the financial industry and technology to improve and stabilize my customers environment through technological solutions that fit their specific needs. *presses lips together* I solve problems by designing solutions. Bored yet? Hahaha.

Megs:  No!  That sounds wonderful!  Who doesn’t want their stuff to be designed better?  Any chance you could start working for tumblr?  Some of us have a few complaints ... tags ... mobile losing our work ...

Max:  I’m not sure they could pay me enough to help them with all of their problems!  But, tumblr, feel free to send me an offer!

Megs:  Seriously - send her a 6 figure offer!

Max:  Okay, Megs, well now I have a question for you.

Megs: Uhhhh, Max, that’s not exactly how this is supposed to go. 

Max:  Yeah, don’t care.  Your fans need to know ... Hoooow do you find the time to read and review so much?! And I know that’s just in this fandom.  I know you read books and you may read for other fandoms!?  Seriously, it’s awesome. We need to clock your page flipping speed haha.

Megs:  *blushes* Oh my gosh, you have to stop!  Here’s the key to how I do it ... I wake up at 5:30am and read for about 30 minutes.  Then I workout and start my day.  I read in line at the grocery stores.  I read on my breaks at work. 

Max:  Oh my gosh - you’re such a nerd and I love that!  Okay, nerd, what is your favorite thing to do, besides reading all the things of course?

Megs: This show, of course!  And, of course, getting people to do silly things on this show with me.  For instance - with as athletic as you are, I hear you can’t jump? 

Max:  Megs, shhhhh.  You told me you weren’t going to bring that up.

Megs:  I did no such thing! (Meg says while laughing) I said I might not bring it up.

Max:  Uh huh.

(Kris Kross’s “Jump” starts playing in the studio)

Megs:  Come on - show me what you’ve got! 

(Megs starts “singing” along and jumping along with the song. Max stays seated.  Megs finally pulls Max up into a standing position. Max plays along and “jumps” next to Megs - getting no air at all.)

Oh, come on Max - put some real strength in to it.  Jump! Jump! Jump!

(Max jumps and gets the smallest amount of air time.)

Max:  *laughing* Megs - I’m tall!  I don’t need to jump to reach things!

Megs:  *laughing* That must be nice.  I got good at this type of jumping because I had to learn to jump up and gently grab things from the grocery so I didn’t knock everything down.

*continuing to jump around the audience - getting everyone to join her* And that’s all for the show today today, folks!  Thank you for watching!!  Have a great night!

[echodrops]

The Promises I Made (2018)

For the past twelve years, I’ve spent every New Year’s Eve compiling a list of fifty promises I intend to keep or fulfill over the next twelve months. The results have been truly amazing, and I have kept some promises I never thought I could. Although this year was really, really bad, oh lord... This year, for New Year’s, there will be a new set of promises for to me keep, but here are the old ones, for review!

 The Promises I Made (2018 edition)

1) I will be less anxious at work and not let passing comments from students or passive rudeness get under my skin as much. Status: Somewhat kept; I feel like I wasn’t as upset by students being rude this year as last year, but then again that might just be because I had better students. XD

2) I will be more proactive about my responsibilities for the college newspaper committee so we can make a great product. Status: Uhh… Can I count this as kept if the newspaper committee was put on hold due to decisions from the higher administration, so I didn’t have to be proactive about these responsibilities?

3) I will actually visit Mexico, not just accidentally take a wrong turn and end up there... Status: Broken. You know how some people like live next door to a restaurant for years but somehow never get around to trying it? Yeah that’s me, with the entire country of Mexico. Like, I literally live less than a mile from the border… I really should just go get lunch one day or something…

4) I will actually decorate my office with all the stuff I have had sitting around at my house for months. Status: Actually kept. I don’t feel like the decorating is really done in the office, but the decorations are no longer cluttering up my actual home instead of the office!

5) I will be better about focusing so that I can grade quickly and feel less overwhelmed throughout the course of the semester. Status: You know, it’s hard to say whether or not I did grade more quickly because spring semester I took on a really annoying class schedule and it screwed me over hard. I feel like I was a little faster this year, but I felt more overwhelmed than ever.

6) I will get the scratch on my Camaro buffed a bit to clear up the parts that can be cleared. Status: I just… didn’t do this. Broken.

7) I will repair the mortar on the fence outside the Utah house and seal the bricks on the window sills. Status: Somewhat kept/broken. I fixed the mortar on the fence outside but did not seal the windowsill bricks.

8) I will finish at least 26 books over the course of this year. Status: Look man. If my promise had been “Finish 26 fanfics longer than 100,000 words,” I would have blown this promise out of the water. But as it stands, I think I only made it to 10-ish printed books. I’m naughty. 9) I will retrim the grape vine at the Utah house and also spray/get someone to spray to kill the wasps. Status: Broken. I don’t know why I thought it would be smart to make a promise about trimming the grape vine, since that’s something you do in fall… when I’m not even in Utah… Hrmmmm… 10) I will get the mail man to stop delivering the wrong mail to my box because I’m getting ten times more mail for other people than for myself. Status: I had so many opportunities to do this, and I just didn’t. RIP.

11) I will have the fire escape window installed on the Utah house to make it legal to rent. Status: Broken. That’s a lotta money fam.

12) I will update Home and a Half at least four times (and no more double posts, just be chill Yehn, be chill for once…) Status: WOW. I was so, so optimistic, wasn’t I? 13) I will actually build all the furniture I bought for the Texas house and never assembled. Status: Mostly kept? I think there’s like one more thing I haven’t assembled (the spare futon), but up to this point I haven’t needed it, so...

14) I will actually watch Stranger Things since everyone keeps nagging me about it. Status: Broken. I just didn’t do this at all.

15) I will go to a dentist and get this annoying wisdom tooth removed and also see what can be done for my front tooth that got pushed out of alignment by said wisdom tooth. This really needs to happen ‘cause the partially erupted tooth is killing me. D; Status: Wisdom tooth is still hurting me… I am the worst at taking care of myself… 2019… the year of self-care?

16) I will take a road trip with my friend Karen like we’ve been talking about for a while. Status: Actually did this! Finally something completely kept. It was a great trip too.  

17) I will continue to serve as the video game club’s faculty sponsor. Status: I was too busy… T_T Broken.

18) I will lower my credit card debt by at least $2000. Moving is so expensive. T_T Status: I ended up having major set-backs this year in the form of having to pay out of pocket for a new windshield in my car and also my Playstation flat out dying on me, so this goal did not get satisfied. But now that my car is completely paid off (hell yeah!), I’ll finally be able to start making big payments on this sucker.

19) I will have ALL my lesson plans planned out in advance for Fall 2018 so that I can just chill next fall. Status: YO THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED. There were still some instances of needing to fix things, but overall I did actually have all the lessons done in advance, and that was probably the only reason I survived fall at all lol.

20) I will finish painting the living room in the Utah house, finally. Status: I… forgot I even made this promise. Yikes.

21) I will be better about walking my dog because I have been slacking lately. Status: I wanted to be better, but every fucking time I go to walk my dog, the neighbor’s Chihuahua runs through their fence and tries to attack my dog, so literally every walk becomes a nightmare and there were a lot of days when I just didn’t want to deal with that stress… :/

22) I will finish a game other than FFXIV this year. Man, so many games have been piling up… Status: I couldn’t even find time to play FFXIV this year, let alone another game… 23) I will write a new, original short story. Status: I… did not write like at all this year. 2018 was just really hard for me. T_T

24) I will get my black glasses fixed this year, finally. Status: Uh… Kept… I think? At least I think this promise was referring to the damage to the frames of my black glasses, which I did get fixed. But now the lens has a scratch… V_V

25) I will attend more professional development/on-campus events and trainings to bolster my evaluation. Status: Eh, kept? I’m signed up for a conference and did some extra training thing that I can throw on the sheet, so I’m calling it good.

26) I will ink and color at least the one drawing of Yehn’zi that I finished sketching a while ago and did absolutely nothing with. Status: A whole lot of nope on this one.

27) I will really finish moving in to my Texas house, no more “I’ll fish out the clothes from the Space Bag when I need them but never actually hang them up.” Status: I’m counting this as kept, since the only thing that didn’t happen is that I never took the plastic wrap off the top of my nightstand, but like… hey that’s a really convenient way to avoid water spots so…

28) I will volunteer at a non-profit organization to fulfill my “service to the community” work requirement. I mean, I will volunteer from the goodness of my heart… yeah… Status: Shitttt this didn’t happen and it really needed to… Oh dear…

29) I will level ALL my classes to 70 in Stormblood. Status: This also did not happen. No time to play.

30) I will reach 1000 followers on tumblr. You should follow me. I’m only marginally a waste of time and space. Status: Kept and exceeded! I’m at like… 1540-ish right now I believe.

31) I will find a salon so I can get my hair dyed consistently instead of looking like a shabby blob half way through each semester. Status: Well, the good news is that my hair color fades so nicely that one of my students actually asked if the strawberry blonde was my natural color. But uh… no… it’s not… so…

32) I will find some way to pay back my coworker for all the incredibly nice things she has done for me already. Status: I mean, I took her out to lunch a lot but I don’t know if I really managed to feel “equal” on the debts I owe her for helping me out.

33) I will see an Anhinga (it’s a kind of bird!) in Texas. Status: Kept! The very first time I went looking for it, I found it, so score.

34) I will win Camp NaNoWriMo this year (because November might never be a possibility for me again, given how much grading I seem to end up doing during that month). T_T Status: Broken. Again, I wrote almost nothing this year. Too much stress. T_T

35) I will scout for new neighborhoods to move to with better internet access and closer to my work. Status: Kept. It’s still a bit too early for me to be looking for specific places, but I have a better sense of where I’ll be aiming for when I do go to buy something.

36) I will try to get better at Spanish, possibly by using my DuoLingo app more. Status: …Broken.

37) I will buy sod for the front part of the Utah house so that my house actually looks decent from the curb. Status: I COULD HAVE… But I didn’t.

38) I will be more proactive about commenting, reccing, and reblogging content I appreciate online because I find so many wonderful things but I rarely say as much about them as I should. Status: I think I was worse about this than last year. I miss the days when I didn’t feel like every five minutes taken to myself was stealing from my work responsibilities…

39) I will actually use my Instagram account to upload my photography somewhere public. Status: I forgot I made this promise too. Oops…

40) I will go dolphin-watching in the Gulf. Status: Somewhat kept? I mean… I stood on the pier… And saw dolphins in the Gulf. That counts, right???

41) I will clear all the photos and videos off my phone and camera SD cards because they are overflowing. Status: Kept but now they’re just sitting on the hard drive unsorted and in a confusing jumble of unnamed folders...

42) I will update my calendar with important dates—holidays, birthdays, etc.—and be productive about sending cards and well-wishes. Status: Broken, just totally broken.

43) I will complete my series of posts about Yato/Hiyori. Really. Status: >___> One day…

44) I will not work later than 10pm on any given work night. I can’t keep running myself ragged. I need to brake sometimes. Status: HA. I was really hopeful. More broken promises…

45) I will explore some new places/cities in Texas that I have not been before. Status: I… did not do this. I had a chance to do this and I didn’t. D;

46) I will get a gardener for the Texas house because the lawn is basically unmanageable by myself. Status: Kept. Because… the lawn really was unmanageable by myself so…

47) I will clean out the fridge more often. No expired milk or ancient leftovers this year please… Status: >_____> Ooopppssss.

48) I will get some sort of watering system set up so that the lawn at the Texas house isn’t a total disaster anymore. Status: Somewhat kept. I did buy hoses and sprinklers to water the lawn but mostly it’s just been raining a lot and that made the grass greener on its own.

49) I will help make one of the super complicated cookies from the new cookie cookbook I bought for Karen. Status: Actually kept! We learned much about the workings of cookie guns.

50) I will keep these promises. Status: Ouch, this one hurts a little.

Totals Kept promises: 12 Broken promises: 29 Somewhat kept/broken promises: 9

Y I K E S ™. I thought last year was crazy and was so hopeful for this year… I had NO IDEA how hard this last year was going to be. So many broken promises; I feel so guiltyyyyy. DDDD; Although I’m still at the same job and not planning on dramatically swapping entire career fields again, things are still in the process of settling and there’s still SO much more I feel like I need to work on. 2018 was the year of being constantly overwhelmed. Unfortunately, 2019 doesn’t seem like it’s going to be much calmer because I’m still working on designing classes and getting my lessons ironed out, but I at least no longer feel like I’m at rock bottom… So, I’m cautiously, very cautiously, feeling the tiniest bit optimistic?

  Let’s do this, 2019! The new set of promises will be up by tomorrow.

[jozstankovich]

oc interview | Ji-ae Choi

Tagged by: @jonhseed thank you ambieee!  i love that you think of me even tho we aren’t active in the same fandoms lol

Tagging: @fiftyshadesofdes, @crytalstellar, @jylcie, @perseus-huntress, @fuwafuwagem, @sarah-choi, @saambell

Rules: Pick an oc and answer the questions as they would.  ^^

putting under cut bc longggg

What is your name? Ji-ae Yeong-Choi

What is your real name? That... is my real name?

Do you know why you were called that? Because my parents named me that?  I dunno, ask them.

Are you single or taken? Happily taken~

Have any abilities or powers? Uhhh... I know tae kwon do and I’m good with computers lol that’s not really a special power tho.

Stop being a Mary Sue. Wow, rude.

What’s your eye colour? Rose gold.

How about your hair colour? Brunette.  Thought about dying it, but I’m too lazy for the upkeep lol.

Have you any family members? My dad, step mom, and older step sister, Yue.  Oh, and since she’s married to Jumin I guess that would make him my... step brother by marriage.  And of course there’s my brother-in-law, Saeran.  ^^

Oh? What about pets? I’d love to get some, like a cat and maybe a dog, and I know Saeyoung wants a cat... but right now we only have the robot cat and puppy.

That’s cool I guess, now tell me about something you don’t like. You guess?  Why did you even ask the question if you’re gunna react like that?  >:/  Something I don’t like... uhhh, copy cats I guess.  In my line of work, it’s really annoying, like get your own hook. 

Do you have any hobbies/activities you like doing? I love playing video games.  I mean, it’s kind of my job to play them on camera, but it’s my hobby too, y’know?  I also love surfing the internet and blogging.  Watching horror films.  Memorizing actors and what movies they’ve been in.  Those are hobbies right?

Ever hurt anyone before? Yes... emotionally... and physically.

Ever... killed anyone before? No, but... I wanted to.

What kind of animal are you? Cat, for sure.  We have the same tendencies.

Name your worst habits. ...I sleep in late, go to bed late, eat too much junk food.  let’s see... oh yeah i tend to worry about well, everything :|

Do you look up to anyone at all? I look up to my step sister, Yue.  She’s got her life together and she’s smart and sophisticated and strong.  I also really look up to my husband.  I know that might seem weird to some because of the way he can be perceived if you don’t know him well, but he’s been through so much in his life and has come out the other side stronger and manages to keep a smile on his face.

Gay, straight, or bisexual? Bi

Do you go to school? I did.  I... took a break for about a year, but I finished and got my degree.

Do you ever want to marry & have kids one day? I’m already married... and about kids... well, *blushes and fidgets with her hoodie strings* despite my stance against them in the past I’ve been thinking about it more and more recently.  Having a little mini-Saeyoung wouldn’t be so bad. 

Do you have any fanboys/fangirls? I have a pretty good amount of youtube fans, but no crazy ones... that I know of.

What are you most afraid of? Hell is other people.  Can we... not talk about this anymore?

What do you usually wear? I love hoodies.  Especially fun quirky ones.  I also love cute stockings and tights with skirts.  Although, most of the time when I’m at home I... don’t wear pants.

Do you love someone? With all my heart~

When was the last time you wet yourself? Wha- uhh?  Wait... is this a serious question?

Well, it’s not over yet! Wait, the weird questions, or the interview?

What class are you? (High/upper/middle/low) Uhm... I guess maybe upper class?  I’m not entirely sure.  I’ve never thought about it much, but I guess Sae and I are kind of eccentric rich hermits lol.

How many friends do you have? More than enough~  I’ve never been one to have many friends.  I’d prefer a few close friends over a lot of acquaintances, and the members of the RFA are just the friends I need.

What are your thoughts on pie? GIMMEE.

Favourite drink? Red Bull... or really any energy drink.

What’s your favourite place? My bed.  For a couple reasons  >_>

Are you interested in someone? I... already told you I was married?  I’m verrry interested in my husband, Saeyoung.

What’s your bra cup size/how big is your willy? None of your business.

Would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean? The ocean, I guess.  I’ve... never been.  *a far away look crosses her face*

What’s your type? Hm... someone who’s funny and sweet, but knows how to be serious when the mood calls for it.

Any fetishes? HA.  *turns a bright shade of red*  I mean, I’ve got a few... and that’s all I’m gunna say about that.

Seme or uke? Top or bottom?  Dominant or submissive? Wouldn’t you like to know?~

Camping or Indoors? I n d o o r s.

Are you waiting for the interview to end? God yes.  I mean, haha no~

Now it’s over! Yay! 

[healthierhappier-me]

Get To Know Me Tag!!

I tag @gethealthystayfit , @tropical-fit , and @zaya-fit :) have fun!

1. What is your full name?

simona! [no need for last names on here lol]

2. What is your nickname?

i never really had a nickname, but my friends tease me and call me simon sometimes...

3. What is your zodiac sign?  

pisces (march 5!)

4. What is your favorite book series?

probably the Eragon series or maybe Ranger’s Apprentice? i love fantasy a lot

5. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts?

sort of? i keep bouncing back and forth and can’t really decide

6. Who is your favorite author?

this is an impossible question and i will never be able to answer it sorry

7. What is your favorite radio station?

magic 106.7! i grew up on it :)

8. What is your favorite flavor of anything?

probably either lemon or lavender or the combination of the two

9. What word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful?

amazing? i’m not sure hahaha

10. What is your current favorite song?

probably “all time low” by jon bellion just because it’s been stuck in my head for days oops

11. What is your favorite word?

probably cascade or mountain, unsure

12. What was the last song you listened to?

“the nights” by avicii!

13. What TV show would you recommend for everybody to watch?

FRIENDS FRIENDS FRIENDS FRIENDS FRIENDS FRIENDS ALWAYS

14. What is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down?

anything disney/pixar, particularly “the emperor’s new groove” lol

15. Do you play video games?

 i’ve played pokémon since i was 6 and don’t intend to stop just because i’m an ‘adult’ now :)

16. What is your biggest fear?

being forgotten for sure, as well as being less important to a person than they are to me

17. What is your best quality, in your opinion?

i’m quite a nurturing person, and i like that about myself

18. What is your worst quality, in your opinion?

i overthink things that don’t need overthinking and it puts strain on some of my friendships sometimes

19. Do you like cats or dogs better?

this is another impossible question to which my answer will always be both!

20. What is your favorite season?

currently craving summer but i’d say fall is my all-time favorite

21. Are you in a relationship?

yes!

22. What is something you miss from your childhood?

not having to worry about deadlines!

23. Who is your best friend?

a girl i met in the 6th grade who i’ve talked to more or less every day since then

24. What is your eye color?

brown!

25. What is your hair color?

also brown! exciting stuff

26. Who is someone you love?

my inner circle of friends

27. Who is someone you trust?

my dad

28. Who is someone you think about often?

my boyfriend (long distance relationships will do that)

29. Are you currently excited about/for something?

spring break!! finally a second to relax

30. What is your biggest obsession?

probably buying far too much makeup...

31. What was your favorite TV show as a child?

scooby doo or the magic school bus!

32. Who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone?

a couple of my best guy friends

33. Are you superstitious?

nope!

34. Do you have any unusual phobias?

i’m terribly afraid of needles to a ridiculous extent

35. Do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it?

i love being in front of the camera but only if someone i like or trust is behind it!

36. What is your favorite hobby?

singing!

37. What was the last book you read?

my chemistry textbook :(

38. What was the last movie you watched?

big hero 6!!

39. What musical instruments do you play, if any?

i sing and play a bit of ukulele

40. What is your favorite animal?

either horses or sheep!

41. What are your top 5 favorite Tumblr blogs that you follow?

another impossible question! if i follow a blog it means i like it quite a lot

42. What superpower do you wish you had?

time travel/time control

43. When and where do you feel most at peace?

in the mountains!

44. What makes you smile?

other people’s success stories as well as my own

45. What sports do you play, if any?

i love to ski, and i used to swim competitively

46. What is your favorite drink?

tea! i have an embarrassing amount of tea honestly

47. When was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody?

the other day when i slipped a note under a friend’s door

48. Are you afraid of heights?

no, but i am afraid of falling

49. What is your biggest pet peeve?

loud chewers actually make me want to throw them out a window sometimes

50. Have you ever been to a concert?

yes, imagine dragons and pentatonix :)

51. Are you vegan/vegetarian?

no, though i do admire the lifestyle and what it stands for

52. When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?

a lawyer... don’t ask me why hahaha

53. What fictional world would you like to live in?

probably the world from eragon (blanking on the name) because uh.. dragons!!

54. What is something you worry about?

my future (financial, career, etc)

55. Are you scared of the dark?

only if it’s in an unfamiliar place

56. Do you like to sing?

yes! i sing quite a lot

57. Have you ever skipped school?

i’ve skipped classes, but not all of school

58. What is your favorite place on the planet?

the mountains in colorado, probably

59. Where would you like to live?

either the northeast (usa) or colorado

60. Do you have any pets?

i have two cats and have had quite a few fish over the years

61. Are you more of an early bird or a night owl?

it really depends on the day, either one

62. Do you like sunrises or sunsets better?

sunrises are more fulfilling to experience though i think sunsets are more vivid usually

63. Do you know how to drive?

yes, though i don’t have my license

64. Do you prefer earbuds or headphones?

earbuds!

65. Have you ever had braces?

yep, from 5th to 7th grade

66. What is your favorite genre of music?

literally anything in the ranges of pop/hip hop/alternative/edm/pretty much anything else

67. Who is your hero?

i don’t really have one, though i certainly look up to a lot of people

68. Do you read comic books?

i’ve read every single peanuts and calvin & hobbes comic :)

69. What makes you the most angry?

i really hate blatant ignorance and entitlement

70. Do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book?

i love flipping pages so definitely real book

71. What is your favorite subject in school?

psychology!

72. Do you have any siblings?

nope, just me and the cats

73. What was the last thing you bought?

a pair of grey suspenders for my singing competition

74. How tall are you?

5′10″ (yeah tall i know)

75. Can you cook?

yes i love to cook!

76. What are three things that you love?

my friends/family, my pets, and mountains

77. What are three things that you hate?

donald trump, bigotry, and loud chewers

78. Do you have more female friends or more male friends?

it’s a pretty good mix i think

79. What is your sexual orientation?

i’m straight!

80. Where do you currently live?

i go to university in PA though that’s not where i’m from!

81. Who was the last person you texted?

my mom!

82. When was the last time you cried?

last night oops

83. Who is your favorite YouTuber?

jacksepticeye for sure

84. Do you like to take selfies?

all the time!

85. What is your favorite app?

probably MyPlate (food and exercise tracker)

86. What is your relationship with your parent(s) like?

it’s pretty good, i’m still financially dependent on them so it’s a big part of my life

87. What is your favorite foreign accent?

scottish accents are so cute honestly

88. What is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit?

switzerland!

89. What is your favorite number?

when i was little i really liked the number 18 for some reason so i guess 18?

90. Can you juggle?

no but i’ve always been jealous of people who could

91. Are you religious?

nope! but people can believe what they’d like of course :)

92. Do you find outer space of the deep ocean to be more interesting?

i’ve always been fascinated by outer space because we have absolutely no idea what’s going on out there

93. Do you consider yourself to be a daredevil?

uhh sometimes i feel braver than other times, but overall i don’t think i’m particularly daring, no

94. Are you allergic to anything?

thankfully no!

95. Can you curl your tongue?

yes!

96. Can you wiggle your ears?

also yes!

97. How often do you admit that you were wrong about something?

i’ve been working on being less stubborn lately, but i still hate admitting i was wrong so idk

98. Do you prefer the forest or the beach?

the beach! i love the ocean

99. What is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you?

don’t look at everything you have to do in one big scary lump, take it one very small step at a time and it’ll help not get as overwhelming

100. Are you a good liar?

unfortunately (or fortunately) yes

101. What is your Hogwarts House?

gryffindor! pottermore certified :)

102. Do you talk to yourself?

not really, but i get lost in thought quite a bit

103. Are you an introvert or an extrovert?

i’m much more on the extroverted side of things but i do enjoy time to myself

104. Do you keep a journal/diary?

not really, i think this blog is the closest thing to that

105. Do you believe in second chances?

it really depends on the context and the specific situation imo

106. If you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do?

try to track down the owner or turn it in!

107. Do you believe that people are capable of change?

again, depends on the situation; certain facets of personality are unchangeable in my opinion while more superficial mindsets can be changed

108. Are you ticklish?

extremely (it’s kind of a hazard actually)

109. Have you ever been on a plane?

oh yes many times!

110. Do you have any piercings?

i have basic ear piercings but i’d like cartilage piercings as well

111. What fictional character do you wish was real?

baymax! or teto from the ghibli movie nausicaa

112. Do you have any tattoos?

no, but i’d like a small one

113. What is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far?

choosing my particular university tbh

114. Do you believe in karma?

sort of? not to any huge extent

115. Do you wear glasses or contacts?

thankfully no i have fine vision

116. Do you want children?

someday, absolutely

117. Who is the smartest person you know?

probably my dad tbh

118. What is your most embarrassing memory?

the way i acted towards my ex right after the breakup. total regret and still cringing.

119. Have you ever pulled an all-nighter?

i try not to, but yes a few times

120. What color are most of you clothes?

black, blue, or olive green

121. Do you like adventures?

yes!

122. Have you ever been on TV?

i don’t think so?

123. How old are you?

18, about to turn 19 (in 5 days)

124. What is your favorite quote?

pretty much any quote from parks and recreation

125. Do you prefer sweet or savory foods?

strongly depends on my mood!

[lalka-laski]

Another Day, Another Dollar (and a survey to pass the time)

Coffee mugs, teacups, or water bottles? I collect kitschy mugs, most of which were souvenirs or gifts (for example, my sister’s boyfriend got me a mug with the ENTIRE script of Shrek printed on it. Amazing lol!). But I also love pretty teacups and I have several scattered around my apartment as decor. I even have this BEAUTIFUL tea set, hand-made and painted in Poland, that I’ve been meaning to display.  Bubblegum or cotton candy? If we’re talking flavoring, then NEITHER! The idea alone of bubblegum or cotton-candy flavored shit makes me gag.  How did your elementary school teachers describe you? I was quiet and not very social, but an exceptional student. I spent most of my free time reading books or writing my own stories. Pretty much an elementary teacher’s dream student!

Do you prefer to drink soda from cans, bottles or cups? My top choice across the board would be a cup with a straw. But I LOVE regular Coca-Cola from a can. It tastes so much better than Coke from a bottle or fountain machine for some reason. It’s sweeter and smoother with less of that painful carbonated burn.  Earbuds or headphones? Earbuds, just because headphones make me look like a dork. 

Movies or TV? TV shows are easier to fade in and out of, which is my preferred means of watching something.  Favorite smell in the summer? SUNSCREEN! It’s such a distinct and familiar smell that’s contained to only a teeny sliver of the year. I love smells like that.  Game you were best at in P.E./gym? It’s not a game but I was weirdly good at rock-climbing when we did that unit in high school?  What do you have for breakfast on an average day? Nothing. I love breakfast food, just not at breakfast time.  Name of your favorite playlist? I have this one playlist whose title is simply the sparkle/star emoji (creative, I know). It’s a lot of vibey, atmospheric jams that are the perfect soundtrack when I have people over just chilling and drinking.  Lanyard or key ring? Keyring, but a lanyard might make my life easier.  Favorite non-chocolate candy? Sourpatch Kids or any other type of sour gummy.  Favorite book you had to read for school? Dude. I was an English nerd who later became an English major and at one point in the semester was averaging 2 novels a week. I could never pick a sole favorite from all my years in school and I’d struggle to even pick a favorite from each class. But for the sake of this question I’m gonna rattle off a few that come to mind. From middle school through high school I loved The Outsiders, The Westing Game, TKAM, anything by Steinbeck, Jane Eyre, The Poisonwood Bible, The Virgin Suicides. 

AAAAAND I just started mentally listing my favorite books from college but got too overwhelmed. So I’m moving on to the next question now, thx!

Most comfortable position to sit in? Uh, I’ve never put much thought into that. 

Most frequently worn pair of shoes? It depends on the season. And to be honest, I’d rather go barefoot whenever possible.  Ideal weather? A little cool but sunny. I do love the rain but it hinders plans (and hair & makeup!) so I lean more towards sunny, dry days.  Pencils or pens? PENS ONLY. Pencils gross me out.  Obsession from childhood? Most of my childhood obsessions have carried over into adulthood: whimsical fairy tales and princesses (specifically Sleeping Beauty), the color pink, collecting diaries & journals...  Favorite crystal? Rose quartz, if that counts?  Favorite activity to do in warm weather? Swimming or laying by the pool/under a tree with a good book. And of course, I love me some day drinking on a summer day! Favorite activity to do in cold weather? Staying cozy inside, also with a good book and a good drink. See a theme here?  Five songs to describe you? Thursday’s Child- David Bowie She Talks to Angels- The Black Crowes Paradise- Coldplay Never Get You Right- Brandon Flowers Silver Lining- David Gray

Best way for someone to bond with you? Music and literature are my favorite ways to connect with a person. There’s nothing more intimate (and I mean that both in a romantic and platonic sense) than listening to a song or reading a poem/passage with someone and then discussing what it means to you.  Top 5 favorite Vines? I have many! “Road work ahead” is of course a fave. And there are so many more that I can’t think of right now.  Ads you have stuck in your head? None atm

Average time you fall asleep? Depends entirely on the night  What is the first meme you remember seeing? Yikes, I can’t remember. I’m sure it involved a cat?  Suitcase, duffel bag, or backpack? Suitcase with wheels  Lemonade or tea? Lemonade is my favorite non-alcoholic drink ever. I even named my childhood teddy bear “Lemonade.”  Last person you texted? Glenn  Jacket pockets or pants pockets? Jacket pockets, I never carry things in pants pockets. Favorite type of jacket? Jackets are my favorite item of clothing, so I’m a hoarder of cute jackets, blazers & coats!  Favorite scent for soap? Lavender & cedarwood from Bath & Body Works.  Sci-fi, fantasy, or superheroes? I don’t care much for either.  What clothes do you sleep in? Usually just a comfy tee shirt  Favorite type of cheese? Extra extra sharp cheddar (preferably white). So sharp it makes your jaw tingle!  What saying or quote do you live by? I’m trying to ask myself lately “What can I learn from this?” or “What can this offer me?”  What are you currently stressed about? For the most part, I’m in a good place. I feel aligned and centered and a HELL of a lot better than I’ve ever felt. My biggest struggles currently are related to body image, envy & self-worth, which is a lifelong battle for most, no?  Favorite font? Cabria or something like that?  What did you learn from your first job? Speaking up for yourself is difficult but it’s one of life’s necessary evils  Favorite fairy tale? Sleeping Beauty, of course! It’s an obsession.  Favorite tradition? That’s a difficult question because I’m SUPER sentimental and I have tons of personal & family traditions.  Talent you’re proud of having? Empathy

If you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? "Stop it!” exclaimed in disbelief or surprise.  If you were an anime character, what genre of anime would it be? I have no clue Character you relate to? Elle Woods (on my best days).  Favorite website from your childhood? I loved gurl.com and Alloy. I just checked to see if either still exist.... gurl now links to Seventeen (another favorite in my teen years) and Alloy links to Youtube? Odd.  Any scars? A very faint one. Actually it may not even be there anymore.  Favorite flower? Chrysanthemum  Any good luck charms? Like I said, I’m a very sentimental person. So I have several!  Least favorite flavor of food or drink? Well a question from earlier in the survey reminded me how much I ABHOR bubblegum or cotton candy flavored things. I’m also very picky about lemon. I love lemonade or lemon candies, but can’t stand the flavor in desserts or savory  dishes. So maybe I just like artificial lemon flavor?  Left or right handed? I’m right handed but always wished I was left-handed just because I thought it was cool.  Least favorite pattern? None come to mind immediately  Worst subject in school? Math of any sort. Chemistry was also wicked hard for me.  Favorite weird flavor combo? I don’t think anything I eat is that weird or abnormal  When did you lose your first tooth? No clue Favorite potato food? Hashbrown patties or curly fries. Not a huge fan of regular french fries, although that doesn’t stop me from eating them whenever the opportunity presents itself...  Gas station coffee or grocery store sushi? Weird options. But I don’t eat sushi and I actually love gas station coffee so there’s a clear winner here. 

Earth tones or jewel tones? Jewel tones Do you call them fireflies or lightning bugs? Fireflies

PC or console gaming? I don’t game

Writing or drawing? Writing Podcasts or talk radio? Podcast, I suppose. But I rarely find podcasts I enjoy. Most of the time it just seems like a person who likes the sound of their own voice rambling, or two or more people having a conversation that doesn’t need an audience.  Barbie or Polly Pocket? Barbie but Polly Pocket was still that bitch

Fairy tales or mythology? I’m partial to fairy tales but that doesn’t mean I find mythology any less fascinating. 

Cookies or cupcakes? Cookies all day Your greatest fear? Death or losing a loved one Your greatest wish? To find inner peace and happiness, to live a long life with my loved ones Who would you put before everyone else? My loved ones^ Wow I’ve used that phrases a lot in these past few questions.  Lamps, overhead lights, fairy lights, or sunlight? Fairy lights!!  Nicknames? Lil Bit/Libit, Lala, Enebis, Lala, Liz, Lizzie, Ela.  The name “Elizabeth” lends itself to a hell of a lot of nicknames haha!  Favorite season? Fall, probably. But I’ve grown to love Spring too as I’ve gotten older. Which is weird because it was always my least favorite growing up. I used to find it depressing but now I think it’s inspiring.  Favorite app on your phone? Snapchat probably  What is your desktop background? I’m on a work computer right now so it’s just our company logo How many phone numbers do you have memorized? Uhh.... very few.

[toomanysurveys9]

Coffee mugs, teacups, or water bottles? Shot glasses. If I had to pick out of these three, though, probably coffee mugs. Even though I don’t drink nearly enough coffee to make buying many worth it. Bubblegum or cotton candy? Depends what it is if you mean flavoring. If you mean actual candy, bubblegum. How did your elementary school teachers describe you? Quiet, but a good student. I did extremely well in school. The only subject I really struggled with was math. Do you prefer to drink soda from cans, bottles or cups? I don’t care. Earbuds or headphones? Earbuds for sure.

Movies or TV? TV shows usually. Favorite smell in the summer? Freshly mowed grass, but I’m allergic. Game you were best at in P.E./gym? I hated P.E. I wasn’t very good at any of the games that I recall. What do you have for breakfast on an average day? Cold cereal, if I even eat breakfast. Name of your favorite playlist? My songs for Wy and Ellie on Spotify. Lanyard or key ring? Lanyard, but I have a key ring. Favorite non-chocolate candy? Lately, laffy taffy. Which is weird. Favorite book you had to read for school? To Kill a Mockingbird actually. Most comfortable position to sit in? I don’t know.

Most frequently worn pair of shoes? Under armor ones. Ideal weather? Cool enough for a sweater, but not overly so. A little rain never hurts either. Pencils or pens? Pens, generally. Unless it’s something I might make a lot of mistakes on. Then I prefer pencils, of course. Obsession from childhood? I don’t know. As a child I loved books. Barbies when I was quite a bit younger. Favorite crystal? I don’t have any. Favorite activity to do in warm weather? Stay in the A/C and read a book. Lol. Or go to the lake and go swimming. Take my kiddos to the park or the zoo. Favorite activity to do in cold weather? Sleep. Movie day with the kiddos. Five songs to describe you? They’d all be sad songs right now. Best way for someone to bond with you? Oh boy. Uhh. Get drunk with me? Or play dates with our kids? Top 5 favorite Vines? I don’t have any favorite vines. I never really got into them. Ads you have stuck in your head? None currently. Average time you fall asleep? Way too late. I try to be in bed by 10:30 during the week, but it takes forever to actually fall asleep. What is the first meme you remember seeing? I don’t know. There have been so many. They all sort of blur together. Suitcase, duffel bag, or backpack? I usually use a backpack. Unless it’s a pretty long trip.. Then we all just use our giant duffel bag. Lemonade or tea? Lemonade. Tea hurts my stomach. Last person you texted? Either Jacob or Jade. Probably Jade? Jacket pockets or pants pockets? Pants, because I usually take my jacket off. Favorite type of jacket? I don’t really care for jackets. I prefer hoodies. Favorite scent for soap? I have so many I love from Bath and Body Works! My top two favorites are probably watermelon lemonade and pumpkin cupcake. I think those are their names. Sci-fi, fantasy, or superheroes? It’s a toss up between fantasy and superheroes. I love Marvel, but I also love fantasy things. What clothes do you sleep in? Depends. Sometimes I wear pajama pants and a tshirt, and other times I wear boy shorts and a tshirt. Favorite type of cheese? Depends what I am using it for. If I’m eating it by itself, Colby jack.  What saying or quote do you live by? Always keep fighting. What are you currently stressed about? Life in general. We need to get caught up on bills. Plus Christmas. Plus our Florida trip is going to be here before we know it. And that’s not even mentioning the emotional bullshit I have going on right now. Favorite font? I don’t know anymore. What did you learn from your first job? That I hated working in the food industry, with a passion. Especially fast food. Favorite fairy tale? I like the Grimm ones. Favorite tradition? I started doing Elf on a Shelf with my kids. That can be fun. Talent you’re proud of having? I don’t know. I used to be okay at singing but I stopped for so long, I don’t think I can anymore. If you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? "Fuck.” HA. If you were an anime character, what genre of anime would it be? I am not really into anime so I couldn’t tell ya. Character you relate to? Sam Winchester. Favorite website from your childhood? Myspace I guess. Any scars? I have one on my right elbow from my time at McDonald’s. A shift manager pushed me into a fryer I had just pulled out. And then I got yelled at for taking too long to care for it. It was one hell of a blister. Easily a second degree burn. Favorite flower? Lilacs. Any good luck charms? Nope. Least favorite flavor of food or drink? Fishy flavors for foods, or super spicy. And for drinks.. black licorice. I guess that flavor also counts for food too. Left or right handed? I am right handed. Least favorite pattern? I don’t know. Any that look too old lady-ish I guess. I know. It’s very subjective, but it’s the best answer I got. Worst subject in school? Math or chemistry.  Favorite weird flavor combo? I don’t know. When I was pregnant, I liked nacho cheese Doritos with BBQ sauce. I can’t think of any weird combos I currently like. When did you lose your first tooth? I don’t know. I was probably six years old or so. Favorite potato food? Either fried potatoes my mom makes, or mashed potatoes. Gas station coffee or grocery store sushi? I don’t eat sushi, so coffee it is. Earth tones or jewel tones? Earth for the most part. Do you call them fireflies or lightning bugs? lightening bugs. PC or console gaming? Consoles. Although I’m not much of a gamer. Writing or drawing? Writing. I can’t draw to save my life. Podcasts or talk radio? Barbie or Polly Pocket? Fairy tales or mythology? More specifically, Greek mythology.

Cookies or cupcakes? Your greatest fear? Something happening to my babies. Your greatest wish? Be the best mom I can, and for my babies to know I love them more than anything and did the best I could. Who would you put before everyone else? My kids. Lamps, overhead lights, fairy lights, or sunlight? Overhead I guess. Nicknames? Marley, Marley Harley, and Lina are the most frequently used ones. Favorite season? Spring. Favorite app on your phone? Probably Tumblr or Pinterest. What is your desktop background? My kids, of course. How many phone numbers do you have memorized? Three? Favorite historical era?

Like ancient Egypt or Greece.

[lovemesomesurveys]

When was the last time you had alcohol? For my birthday back in 2014.

Do you feel like you just need to be with friends and relax? I feel like I need to just be back at the beach and relax.

Is there a situation you currently feel hopeless about? Health and life stuff. When was the last time you wanted to do something, but couldn’t? I feel that way a lot. When was the last time you sang out loud to yourself? Probably yesterday.

Are you one to often make typos? It happens, but I’m one who always checks for that. On a hot day, would you rather prefer ice cream or a popsicle? Neither, really. Have you ever wanted to get drunk and get your mind off everything? I used to do that. It really didn’t work, though. I either just felt even sadder, or it was all good for a little while, but it was short lived and the feelings felt worse when it came back. And I felt like shit from drinking, so there’s that. Who was the last person you texted? My mom. Is there a fan going in the room you’re in? Yes. When was the last time you felt like letting it all out and having a cry? I do that all the time.

Do you feel you’re fighting a losing battle? Yes. :/

Have you played cards recently? Nope. Is there a band you like with amazing music but a bad vocalist? No. If the vocalist wasn’t good I don’t think I’d listen to them.

Is there a certain song you like to headbang to? I don’t head bang. When was the last time you had a headache? Yesterday. Does pizza sound good to you right now? Kind of. I was going to have some for lunch, actually.

Have you ever relied on coffee to keep you awake? I used to back in the day when it actually helped, but it doesn’t anymore. I drink it everyday because I just genuinely love coffee, and it does take some of the edge off at least. I’m a monster when I don’t have my coffee.

Do you sleep well during the summer? I don’t sleep well at all, but it’s even worse in the summer cause it get so damn hot.

Anything you might be giving up on soon? I can’t.

Have you ever captured a moth? EW, no. Does long grass irritate your bare legs? I’m in a wheelchair, so that isn’t a problem for me. Will you be going to the beach anytime soon? I was there this past Thursday and I want to go back asap. I love the beach. Have you ever made any kind of video? Yeah, a few.

When was the last time someone made you feel like an idiot? I just feel like that.

Do you have sympathy for others when they’re upset? Yes. I really feel people’s emotions. I don’t like seeing others hurt. Are you one of those people who can’t dance but love to anyway? I don’t dance. Is there a band/artist who has strange lyrics but you love them anyway? Yeah. Have you ever been to New York? No, but I’d love to. Is there a song you used to like but are annoyed of now? That has happened with songs, but that was back when I used to regularly listen to the radio. Not so much of an issue now.

Does your optimism sometimes hurt you? Ha, what optimism?

Have you ever had a premonition? No. Are you dying to see someone very soon? No. When was the last time you wore earrings? I honestly don’t remember. It’s been such a long time. Are you currently saving for anything? Not particularly. How many pairs of heels do you own? Zero. Has it thundered lately? No. Have you ever gotten stitches? Yeah, several. Do you need to repaint your nails right now? I haven’t painted my nails in like almost 5 years.

Are you having one of those lazy days? Lol as if everyday isn’t a lazy day. Do you have any plans for the next week? No.

When was the last time you changed your picture on Facebook? I changed it a couple days ago to the photo I have with Chewbacca at Disneyland after hearing about Peter Mayhew’s passing. 

What do you do to cool down on a normal hot day? Turn on all the fans and stay near them all day. We use the AC as well, but we can’t have it on for long.

Have you ever felt something was slipping through your fingers? Time.

Describe three emotions you’re feeling right now. Annoyed, tired, drained.

Do you have a brand of deoderant you prefer? I use Secret. 

Would you consider yourself to be physically strong? No. I used to have really great upper body strength, but not anymore.

Have you ever painted a piece of furniture? No.

If you could change something about your life right now it would be: Good health.

Are you currently confused about anything? Yes.

Do you have a really fat cat? I don’t have a cat at all.

Have you ever kissed someone who’s first name started with B? No. Do your initials spell a word? No.

What is the closest red object to you right now? My hair and my shirt.

Do you currently have your cellphone in your pocket? No, it’s next to me on my bed.

Do you tend to laugh at people’s drunken pictures? I don’t come across a lot of drunken photos, but I mean yeah I probably have before.

When was the last time you questioned someone’s intelligence? *shrug*

Do you have a favorite quote? “I don’t know”--Me.

Do you believe the fortunes in fortune cookies? Nope.

When was the last time you went to a playground? I’ve been to the park about 3 years ago and it had a playground. I didn’t go on it, though.

Are you one to give 'thumbs up’ to people? Sure.

Do you ever call your cellphone when you’ve lost it, in order to find it? I’ve had to do that before. It’s rare for me to misplace my phone, though. Do you know someone who’s blatantly sarcastic? Yes. What’s your signature funny face? My actual face. Have you ever made a business card for yourself? No. Have you ever had an idea that you just couldn’t put on paper? Probably. Do you own a pool? No. What do you prefer more: waffles or pancakes? Waffles. What was the last thing you took a picture of? Myself. I was messing around on Snapchat. Are you going on vacation? I wish. Do you have a favorite curse word in a different language? No. Can you stand drinking vodka straight up or do you have to mix it? I did Vodka shots sometimes and had dry martinis. Blech. I don’t know how I did that. Have you ever spun around until you got dizzy and fell? No. Don’t you hate those games that expire and try to make you buy them? I haven’t played a game that expired? Do you have a specific phobia? Yeah. Did you love playing hide and seek as a kid? Yeah. There’s nothing wrong with dreaming, right? No? I mean, we kind of don’t have a choice anyway. Are there any recipes you have memorized? I’m not a cook or baker. All I do is heat up microwavable meals, make some Ramen, or throw something in the oven. If I actually bake, it’s something from the box. Do you know your multipication times tables? Yeah, mostly. Do you have a favorite font on the computer? Tahoma or Verdana. Have you skipped class? Yeah sometimes in college. Do your parents allow you to have your privacy? Yeah. Do you have a friend who is rather quiet? I’m the quiet one. Are you able to swim? No. Is your hair tied up or down on your shoulders? It’s in a low pony tail. Have you ever used your iPod as a mirror? Yeah. I use the little apple on the back of my phone or the screen itself sometimes. When it comes to shapes, do you prefer stars or hearts? I like both. Are you good at creating logos? I’ve never made any. How about catch phrases? I’m not creative or witty enough. Have you ever been told you’re good at imitations? No.

Got plans after you finish this? Most likely another survey. Do you fold your paper in half or quarters? Depends what I’m doing? Have you ever been severely burned? I have a couple burn scars. Is there a song that seems to have been written just for you? It feels like that with certain songs. Have you ever heard of Free Hugs? Yeah. Do you have multiple email addresses? Yes, but I only use one. Has there been someone you couldn’t stop thinking about lately? No one in particular.  Did you ever dream that you had a baby? Yes. Such a freaky dream. Are you a visual learner? Yeah. Have you ever gone snowshoeing? No. Do you or anyone you know have a rabbit? No. What was the weirdest thing you ever saw cross the road? Uhh. Are you good at coming up with jokes? No. Have you ever stepped on a tac? No. Are your legs loaded with scars from your childhood? Not “loaded”, but I do have a few scars on my legs. Have you ever skinned your knees, elbows, and hands all at the same time? Yes, actually. If someone paid you $1,000,000, would you dye your hair electric blue? Pfft, sure. Do you have wireless internet? Yeah. What was the last thing you cooked on the BBQ?  I’ve never used a BBQ grill, personally. My dad recently barbecued some steaks, though.